Two In The Think Tank - 197 - The Principality of Sealand

Episode Date: July 31, 2019

An abandoned WWII gun tower in the middle of the ocean became so much more - a base for pirate radio, the scene of many violent battles... and a country. This is the wild story of the Principality of Sealand.Buy tickets to our live shows here: https://dogoonpod.com/events/Vote for Dave to be Australia's Pie Guy, (you do have to be in Australia or use a VPN) https://gourmetpieguy.brumbys.com.au/profile/dave-warneke/Our website: dogoonpod.comSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.sealandgov.orghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeFA8rtAGfAhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principality_of_Sealandhttps://narratively.com/the-plot-against-the-principality-of-sealand/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_LnPYRSLIchttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wonderful_Radio_Londonhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paddy_Roy_Bates Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

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You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus This week's episode of DoGoOn is brought to you by the fact that we are doing some sweet gigs around the country over the next few months. Hooray! We're on the road, baby! Oh yeah. We've got our three live shows coming up over the next few months, and our 200th episode is coming up not this weekend, but the weekend after... Shit! In Brisbane, and tickets are starting to fly.

Yes, well, yeah, you've made them say,, give me the login and it's meant that I've looked at it twice a day. Every day. So if you want to be involved, it's our 200th episode. We're doing a live podcast for that. And then we're also doing a bonus quiz afterwards. So it's two shows for one. And that's at the zoo in Fortitude Valley

on Sunday, August 11th. It's going to be a heap of fun. And yeah, the tickets genuinely are every time I log in at another chunk of move. So that's cool. Jump on them. Thanks, Brisbane. If you want to come along. Thank you so much. And next month we are coming to Sydney for a big Saturday night show, another double show at the Giant dwarf theatre. It's Saturday, the 21st of September. And then we take a little break and thank you so much to Perth. We've sold over half the tickets and we've still got three months to go.

We appreciate you guys getting involved. That's the comedy lands that show on Sunday, November the 3rd. And tickets to all those shows are at dogoonpod.com. While we're in Brisbane while we're talking about it, we're in Brisbane, Jess and I are hanging around before the loser day. Sorry to be harsh there and tell what like it is, but the loser day comes home to Melbourne. Jess and I are hanging around and party on a little bit longer for the Brids Funny First.

This is tough but fair. Yeah. We're doing three shows of Razzle Dazzle, a brand new show that doesn't really exist yet. It's gonna be fun and loose and silly and fun. I just heard you guys brainstorming some ideas that were absolutely top shell. I've forgotten them, so if you could remember

those amazing ideas we had. And what are the dates for that, Jess? August something? 12th, 13th and 15th. That's right. It's at Hayrbar in Fortitude Valley, and you can get tickets via our link at matstewardcomedy.com slash gigs. And we're also doing a show tomorrow night, Jess, in Knox, in Bayes, Worlda.

We are. In Melbourne's, outer affluent east. And what a lineup. It's a sick lineup with Dave Kallen headlining. Yep. I'm hosting Jess supporting as well as Nick Kappa who was on our episode about the horse fucker. And Sonny Deoria, it's gonna be a heap of fun.

And you can get the same link, matchyourcomedy.com slash gigs. You can find tickets via that link and those tickets are moving pretty fast. So it's in a nice theater. It's going to be a real fun time. Yes, so come along to that too, please. And afterwards, Darry Bell, I'm telling you. Thank you, later.

Good tip. Alright, guys, on with the show. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to another episode of Duga One. My name is Dave Warnockian. I'm sitting here with Matt Shoeit. Hello David. And Nürst, almost back to health. We prayed for Bob and she's back. It's just Perkins. Hello.

Hello, Jessica. Help. Oh, okay. I said nearly back to health. She's already dying. Here we go. Matt's also ill. So basically it's going to be me talking for an hour.

Is that what's going to happen? Yeah. But we're also on a real small confine room, Dave. So good luck. If you guys could just leave the room. Let me get this done and then I'll be fine. Could you do all the voices? Hello, I'm Matt. Yeah, I'm Jess. I'm no good at telling who's who. I don't know how I get it. It's pretty good. The man of three voices. Not very good ones. Yeah. One of them is his own. Yeah. Hey,

that's a good one. Right? No. Especially that's the worst of the three. That's yuck. But yes, we did miss you a lot. So last week we had a Naomi stepping at the last second to fill in for you because you were on death's store. What an absolute angel. I messaged her the day before and I was like, I thought maybe I could miraculously pull it together. It was only day one of being sick. And I was like, maybe it's like when I normally get sick and it's a Pulsing it back to the Pulsing it back to the Pulsing it back to the Pulsing it back to the Pulsing it back to the Pulsing it back to the Pulsing it back to the Pulsing it back to the Pulsing it back to the

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Pulsing it back to the Pulsing it back to the Pulsing it back to the Pulsing it back to the Pulsing it back to the Pulsing it back to the Pulsing it back to the Yeah, she's bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, When you were at here, it really got loose. Oh, cool. I'm the boring one. Have you, uh, listened back and think, oh, that wasn't that loose. I'd cut at at least 15 minutes. It's last to know I have a role here. Yeah, it's your fantastic. You were missed. You were absolutely missed. Are you feeling it right now? I'm feeling fine. Like a fine wine.

Yeah. Look, it's as good as it's going to get. Like, Fran fine. Like a fine wine. Yeah. Look, it's as good as it's going to get. Like Fran Fine. I feel like Fran Fine. You sound like it too. I love her. Yeah. She's the best. I've spent like a solid week watching Glee for so many hours a day that now I just want

to break into song all the time. I will. Now you want to break into song all the time. I will. I'll tell you now you want to bring. Yeah. I think I'm going to introduce that into my personality. I've been watching the good wife as you know, and now the good fight. And there was an episode which I found out later that was based on events of Glee stealing a song.

And they, and they played out like a fictionalized version of that in the good wife courtroom. I started watching the good wife based on your recommendation and I do very much enjoy it. It was just that I was so sick that and I had to pay attention to it. So I was like, look, I'm going to hit pause on this for now and come back to it. Yeah. I'm not saying it's a perfect show. There are so many characters in it that are very frustrating, but it is a, I don't know, I really liked it. Anyway, and I think it's about time that this little show that could, the GoodWife, that was cancelled a few years ago. Finally got out there to the public, even though it was the highest rating show on TV for quite a while.

Wow, really? Yeah, I believe so. I just never. Even though it was the highest rating show on TV for quite a while. Wow, really? Yeah, I believe so. I just never, never assumed it was good. Do you reckon that guy, Chris Noth, what's his name? Mr. Big. Mr. Big, does he ever play anything other than a complete asshole? That the ladies love?

Yeah, he's just such a fucking sleaze. Yeah, I don't know. Even then, he's in, he's in. Whoa, which one is it? He's in a Hillary Duff movie. Mmm, perfect. Boy, boy, she's a man. No, anyway, he's, he's, he's, he's not even sleazy in that.

That's wrong on so many levels. Boy, she's a man. Yeah, now that's the one. That's the one. Anyway, Chris North is the poor man, Sandy Cohen. We all know that. Yeah, we all know that. Hey Dave.

Even poor man's, Mr. Schaefield. Mr. Schaefield. Alright, I want to check in with you where's a pie corner at. Is that the second we do on the show? No. Dave's pie corner. Well, we're bringing in, I appreciate you

creating that segment for me because I haven't been watching any TV shows because I've gone into full campaign mode. Head down, quit my job and I'm now a full time pie eating man. That bit is not true, but if people follow me on Instagram, they know about five years ago, it's a bit of a joke.

I started a hashtag Dave Pistagram. Now I exclusively post pie photos. Sometimes that's annoying because I have a photo that I want to post. I literally can't because I don't have a pie in the photo. But that's all I do. And then our friend Matt Hoff Hoffman, recently tagged me in a Facebook post saying that Brumbies,

which is a bakery chain here in Australia, are launching the search for Australia's gourmet pie guy. And I've decided to enter the Thoma Hat in the Ring. And all you have to do is sign up. And you get people to vote for you to be the pie guy. The other people have entered, don't even seem to have a passion for pies. They don't have an Instagram, they don't have a hashtag, they don't even seem to be pies. Hey

jokes, what is the amateur hour? Do they have podcasts that reach thousands of people that can now vote for this? Yes, I'm really hoping that I could somehow capitalize on this audience that we've built to ask you great do-go on us, to do-go on to the Brumbi's website which is linked in the description and vote for me to be Australia's gourmet pie guide. This is so exciting. I'd really like to win. I like it how you think that you're sort of taking advantage of it.

Really, you're being taken advantage of by a bakery chain, now plugging it for free on a podcast. Matt, please. No campaign is free. All right? You need people to donate for your political campaigns and that's what essentially people are doing. That's true. Do you understand?

Do you understand? I watched a good wife on our Christmas made it all the way to Capitol Hill. So, if you're out there, you've got a spare moment. You'd like to indulge me. Yeah, just head over to the website and vote for me to be Australia's gourmet pie guy. What do you get? Oh, that's right. If I get the most votes, they'll give me $10,000. What?

I can't. And that will go into our pockets. I will not be throwing that money away. No, I've, my campaign, when you be buying me and Jess Pies. Yeah, can you at least buy as a fucking pie? I'll buy you each a pie, absolutely. Yeah. My campaign platform is I've eaten pies.

But it's full of gold. I've, I've eaten pies on, I've had piecgram. Yay! My campaign platform is, I've eaten pies. But it's full of gold. I've eaten pies of had piecograms on four continents now. There's two inhabited ones to go. That's South America and Africa, and if I win, I win. No, no, no. I will fly there to eat them all. Antarctica has people living on it.

What does inhabited mean? Either do it properly, I don't do it at all. Oh, we're going to Antarctica one day, I promise. But first of all, South America and Africa, we'll be ticked off with the prize money. The prize money. Yes. Okay.

That's why you're my campaign manager. But you said you'll buy us a pie. Absolutely. I would like a money pie. Oh. Okay, how much money in the pie? $10,000. Hey, I...

You're out of pocket now, too. I don't know. I believe you win campaigns these days by lying. So sure, you know what I've been win campaigns these days by lying. So chalk, you know, whatever you want. Yes. Yeah, great. Anyway, thank you so much. I appreciate it.

Pie corner. Yeah, pie corner. Welcome. I can't wait to check in. How long is this run for? Until the end of, I think it's the 26th of August. All closes. Which is happy birthday, Jess.

If I win, I will bow your pie for your birthday. Yes! Should we get on with the bloody show? Probably. Yeah. Someone did comment somewhere this week on. Is it just me or the intro is getting longer than they've ever been before? No, we can't win.

It's one of the other people who are either complaining too short or too long. So I say, let's make them just right. Let's get stuck in. It's my turn to do a report this week. Yes. We're excited. You're back from the brink, back in the saddle, back holding the reins. Yep.

All of those things. Right in that horse. I'm a bit, I'm riding it. Oh, I'm a bit, I'm riding it. Oh, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm riding it. Oh, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm riding it. Oh, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm riding it. Oh, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm riding it.

Oh, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm riding it. Oh, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm riding it. Oh, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm riding it. Oh, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm riding it. Oh, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I episode or any episode before what we do, he used, we take it in turns to report on a topic often suggested by a listener and it is Jess Perkins turn this week. Matt and I, we don't know what you're going to tell us about. And we always start with a question. And my question, gentlemen, is which micro nation has a colorful past involving pirates, James Bond and a self appointed royal family? Oh, where was where was the bond or the born or whatever? He lived in Jamaica, right? Oh, that's on a marker nation.

Goldnye, was that his ranch? Well, like his compound in Jamaica. Oh, incredibly proud of this, basically. Micronesia? That's a really good question. Thank you so much. I don't know. How small is a marker nation?

It's got a year. A small one. It's real small. Really small. Like, some kids in Never saw something like that. It's not that Bubba dos. I don't believe I don't think you will have heard of it great. Well, let's hear it then our devil Whoever knows all the countries let me listen for you now Well, it's a principality. Oh Monaco. No

of Sea land Sea land are theme parks Monaco. No. Of Sea Land. Sea Land. Sea Land. I think parks. Sea Land. It's Sea Land. Principality of Sea Land, yes. Oh, isn't Sea Land like a seafood shop? Probably. Sea Land, TDD, Sea Land. It's me and it's you. It's silly, hold with me, the Sea Land. Silly old we need the sea land. Oh, I've had one of these a poem ahead of me.

That's what that is. Yeah. Oh, rough it. Poo bear, we need the poo bear. So you're doing a report about Sea Land. Sea Land. I'm for the whole family. And the principality of.

Oh, that's, that sounds exciting. So it is a micro nation that claims fort ruffs, sometimes called ruffs tower, which is an offshore platform in the North Sea. I think I've seen photos of it. It looks really cool. It's not cool. It's approximately 12 kilometers or 7.5 miles off the coast of Suffolk. At the time.

Off the UK. Off the UK. Wait, is this one of those ones where it's just a crack pot who is living by himself on a floating, like a lot of people. Well, it's not far off, but it's wild. And I should mention as well that I put this up to the vote for the Patreons

and it won by 57% had like 260 something votes for it. Well. Massive. And it was suggested by only one person suggested by Tristan Thornton. Is he a resident of Sea Land? Man that would be cool. God I hope so. So basically, I'll give more information.

It was built in World War II but at the time the UK claimed the area up to three nautical miles or six kilometers from the coast. And as this was beyond that limit, it was officially an international order, baby! My dream to do a podcast from international orders. Maybe we could do it from Sea Land. Can we be invited? I reckon.

I reckon we can definitely find a way. Well, I'd love to eat a pirate Sea Land. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. New dream. So basically, it's a 10,000 square foot gun platform built by the Royal Navy during World War II. So it's kind of made of two hollow towers joined by a long flat deck across the top. It's not particularly big. Well, it doesn't look that big, but I mean, it holds quite a bit of stuff.

So it's pretty big. But basically, there's heaps of them that were sort of towed out into the ocean and then they sink the bottom of it so that it falls to the bottom of the sea bed. And then they just had them to protect themselves from the Germans during World War II. The facility was occupied by 150 to 300 Royal Navy personnel throughout World War II It the facility was occupied by 150 to 300 Royal Navy personnel throughout World War II. That's decent isn't that a lot That's what I mean like it doesn't look that big, but it held that many people So we about how big your house is how many people could fit there? Well me 300 but a normal person. That's just your pantry. Yeah, the buttons pantry. It's capacity for 300 pantry. The button's pantry. It's capacity for the 300.

There's as two people in the house. Two. Right. I mean, it's not a capacity. You're not squeezed in there. Alison, one lion star. It's a little bit squishy. Okay. So I just imagine you're getting a cookie. Because your house times 150, that's how big this place. Everyone can imagine that scale? Just put it into perspective in the heart. There you go. 150 of Jess's apartments. Everyone imagined Jess's apartment.

And the naval, you got it? Okay, great. Now, time's at 550. Right? Wow. Wow. That's all your brains exploding. So the last full-time personnel left in 1956.

This is long after the war has ended. That is the year that television came to Australia. It is. Wow. It is. So it's like that in the key parcel listening. See, my dad was born. Dad and my mom.

Oh. No. See what dad and my mom. Oh my God. What? A lead. Sisters? What? Sister. Oh no. Is your dad my mom? Oh my god, what? A lead? Sisters? What?

Sister? Wow. Where the cis twins? Yeah. A rat. I feel so bad for your existing sisters, because I know you're very rude. Oh. Top three? Top three sisters. Yeah, you are very right. Um. Ah! Top three?

Top three sisters. Yeah, you are in the top three. Woo! Suck it, Tom! Tom. Tom is a brother. Yeah, what's that? Oh, nothing.

Anyway, so after the war, these towers were decommissioned, and the British government sort of left the forts to the elements following the end of the war. And in the mid- the mid 1960s a group of enterprising DJs moved in and set up illegal radio stations. Enterprising. That is a business card I can get behind. That's what mine says. Now this isn't the boat that rocked. It's exactly that. Really? So it's not, I mean, the boat that rocked was based on these pirate radio stations that operated out of these kind of towers or boats. And because the media referred to them as pirate radio stations and basically it was like

a rebellion against BBC radio because BBC had a monopoly over the radio but didn't play any like popular music and it was like very serious, whereas these radio stations had like actually entertaining presenters. It was funny. They put a lot of different content in there. There was like shows about different things. Secret sounds. Secret sounds. Crank calls.

Hello. Yeah. Is there a Gary there? No, there's no Gary here. You pranked. Woo! Can Fettie count it? Well, I can't believe the BBC didn't commission that. That's so good.

That's pirate stuff. It's bad. That's bad, Ankers. So this particular tower, roughs tower, was occupied in February and August of 1965. I don't know what was happening in between, but by a guy called Jackmore and his daughter Jane, they were squatting on behalf of the pirate radio station,

wonderful radio London, also known as Radio London, or the Big L. I looked into the history of the station, and it's pretty fascinating as well, so this is like a little tangent. But it operated from December 1964 to August 1967, from a ship anchored in the North Sea, three and a half miles, off Frifton on Sea, Essex.

Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Spot on perception. It was the idea of an American guy called Don Pearson, who lived in Eastland, Texas in the US. He read a report in the Dallas Morning News about a couple of other pirate stations that had started in the UK called Radio Caroline and Radio Atlanta. He caught the next flight from Dallas to the UK

where he charded a small plane and flew over the two radio ships. And after taking a bunch of photos, return to Texas, determine to create a station bigger and better than both of them. What's he doing? He's doing surveillance. Yeah. What? You just bought from the air.

Hey, just jumped on the next flight, and then another flight to do it. And then went home. I love that spirit of the moment, so classic Texan spirit and ingenuity. Absolutely. So basically they bought an old, it was like a former Second World War United States Navy ship. It was originally named the USS Density. They called it MV Galaxy and it was fitted out for radio broadcasting in Miami, then sailed across Atlantic to Portugal

where the antenna was erected before final positioning of the Essex coast. That sounds like it's going to cost a lot of money. Yeah. Do you know how they make it profitable? It was mostly run from like advertising deals and stuff, I think. And some investors. I think Don Pieson was pretty well- He must have been loaded, because he jumped for the next flight. Yeah, back in the day, I imagined flights are pretty expensive back then.

They just catch the next flight. Totally. He had other contacts and stuff like that as well. I left all of those details out, because it's just a little tangent, but yeah, he just sort of made it happen. The Simpsons Texan. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Ten gallon hat, shooting pistols in the sky, six shooters. Big time. He's doing that on the plane. He'd play so around. This is a no shooting fly. Smoke away. This is not a police. Oh, police.

It's a crime not to smoke on this fly. So the ship or the station had a massive staff of presenters. Well, obviously massively popular because they apparently got an eight day UK exclusive on Sargent Peppers Lonely Heart Club Band playing it first on the 12th of May. But it wasn't in shops until the first of June in 1967. Whoa. So they got an exclusive on it. That's wild. Isn't that crazy?

Yeah, that was a different time. Different time. Back then, the Beatles had given pirates their music. Crazy. Ah. But then, but then, at midnight on the 14th of August 1967, the Marine Broadcasting Offences Act came into effect in the United Kingdom.

It created a criminal offense of supplying music, commentary, advertising, fuel, food, water, or other assistance, except for life-saving, to any ship, offshore structure, such as a former World War II fort. That's an interrogative example. I don't know, for example, after an old battleship run by an old Texan crazy man. For example. I don't know.

Just mad it up. Used for broadcasting without a license from the regulatory authority in the UK. So they were like, all of you pirate radio scum dogs are out, scum dogs. Sure. Despite initial plans to the contrary, Radio London did decide to close

before the act came into effect. They were gonna be like, we're gonna keep rock-a-but it was just like, they'd be fine so much. They'd be so. We'll never stop, we'll never, how much? We'll stop. We'll stop. We'll stop. We have to stop.

And not, we won't even go right up until midnight. We'll stop well before just to be safe. stop. We'll stop. We'll stop. And we won't even go right up until midnight. We'll stop well before just to be safe. Yeah, wow. Thank you, but goodbye. So, pirate radio was just a small part of the history of this abandoned World War II gun platform. The fort wasn't abandoned for long following the departure of Radio London. On the 2nd of September 1967, major Patti Roy Bates, a British subject and pirate radio broadcaster, rolled into town and by town I mean the fort. And rolled you mean the right one about.

That's what they do. He served in the British Army, rising to the rank of Major, and was part of several battles, including the Battle of Monte Casino in the Italian campaign and had been with the 8th Army in North Africa. He then became a fisherman before moving into pirate radio. A couple of years earlier in 1965, he had ousted radio city staff who occupied knock John Tower, another tower not far away, similar kind of structure. And he took over FreeZone radio broadcasting. So he was like, you guys, out, this is my radio

town now. So yes. Because there was only limited number of these, like, forts. So quite often, it got violent. Like, people would kind of attack and take over. Wow, so power radio has actually become like acts of power. Yeah, it's insane.

If somebody who stormed into my studio and was like, get out, I'm doing it now, I'd be like, sweet. All right. Awesome. But that said, I work from 1 a.m. to 6 a.m. So someone was like, 3 a.m. Get out, I'm like, bye. Apart comes in.

Yeah, no, I'm gonna broadcast for the next three hours I'd be like thank you good night. Thank you. Do I still get paid? Yeah, I mean It's only my bosses don't know Can you put on my voice Dave can you it's Dave? Dave's the one who's bulging in yeah, yeah You are listening to triple J with me Jess Perkins. Oh, that is what I sound like. Coming up, June rats and another band. Here they are now. You couldn't think of any other band. No, I cannot.

We do play older stuff sometimes. Coming up and exclusive on Sergeant Pepper's lonely life's club band. Not quite that old. Yeah, so it got violent sometimes and there would be like battles kind of thing. They're like, all right, there's only one way to sort this out a duel With cannons

And I do it fris being record It's a vinyl a final jewel it's a dawn So using the military equipment that was left on the platform he used an old United States Air Force radio beacon to broadcast his station. From knock John Tower, he ran radio Essex from 1965 to 1966 and succeeded in becoming the first pirate radio station to provide 24 hour entertainment. Also, I just mentioned 1966 and Matt took a sip so he I just got to power 316. Yes, yes, yes, you missed it, you missed it, you missed it. Got you, got you, got you. Woo, woo.

Did you say none of 66? No. The fight went up, believe we roll without you noticing we have to move on. The station changed its name in October the same year to the French Better Music Station. People who want to want to know why 66 is important. Who wants to know that? Well, the people who don't not yet know that that

Listen to any other episode the saints Anyway, one there want to be son of a fish Premiership and the VFL you are fucking dead to me no you know Competition you don't want to time out now Since now have one two games in a row now and who knows maybe this is the year still a mathematical chance for finals Unbelievable a lot of things up to go our way Who knows maybe this is the year still a mathematical chance for finals? Yeah, unbelievable. A lot of things have to go our way. Several of the other teams have to retire.

Yeah. There has to be some kind of incident where most teams are all out of with food poisoning. Yeah, so we're inviting a lot of teams to meet at the Southland Food Court. This Thursday afternoon. We'll be giving out free chili. Anyway. Chicken. I'm starting a new shop for any AFL footballers.

Free, they get free food at my pink chicken spill. Get your pink chicken. AFL footballers only. Stay away, Saints. I'll get there and I'll just be Saints lined up. There'll be 40 Saints, the whole saints list with air. The only team desperate for a free meal. Why don't I go south and the closest to their training base?

What was I doing? No. Anyway, I've committed to this. A deal's a deal. Pink chicken at his boys. Anyway, so he's the first part where he the station to provide 24 hour intertoment. He's around the clock. Is he broadcasting solo? No, other simsons wear crusty, all the TV stations are taken out, so he takes out the emergency broadcast

signal. Oh, that's it. 24 hours a day. We got all these characters. Moppy? Was that his other one? He gets stingy, the scorpion, and a battery. That's good stuff. The station changed its name in October of 66 to Britain's Better Music Station, or BBMS. After Roy had been convicted of violating Section 1 of the Wireless Telegraphy Act 1949. I'm not sure what that is. He was then fined 100 pounds for his continued illegal broadcasting. So when he arrived at Rough's Tower in 1967, he had all the equipment ready to go to start

broadcasting again, but despite having everything he needed, he didn't produce any pilot radio again. This was mainly due to the Marine Broadcasting Fences Act that I mentioned before, which again pretty specifically targeted their exact type of structure. So they weren't allowed to do radio anymore or massive fines. So instead, on the 2nd of September, 1967, Roy Bates declared the independence of Ruff's Tower and deemed it the principality of Sea Land. He's like, well, if I can't have a radio station, I've got a country.

I like that. I mean, that's big picture-thinking. Yeah. A guy called Ronan O'Reilly of another part radio station, Radio Caroline, along with a small group of men tried to storm the platform that Roy Bates had claimed. Bates and company used petrol bombs and guns to thwart all the Israelis attempt. Really?

Another fun fact about this guy running in O'Reilly is that he also is also credited with convincing George Lason B to give up the role of James Bond after only one film. Oh, which we would have talked about in our James Bond episode. I do remember talking about how he was convinced out of it. Yep, and that was by this guy apparently.

Huh. Uh, it was Mark Cole. And he went on to do bigger and better things. Yeah. Everything worked out. Anyway, as a result of the conflict. Oh, so that guy's claimed to fame. He still tells people now. I'm the one that can have insturred ladies and be decweet. Oh, my cool.

Okay, great. Thank you. So what do you want? A haircut or? So sorry, was it a soy flat wine or what do you want? He's telling Roger Moore. He's like, I gave you your career. You owe me. Okay, man. So do you want that haircut? Raja Moore, it did not go well with him. Well, sadly, point out that the timeline

doesn't quite work there, does it? Well, it does because there would have been acts in between, but if he kept doing it, it would have thrown out the whole timeline and Roger Moore wouldn't have ended up getting up getting and maybe I never would have been born Exactly to show wouldn't be happening So really I'm gonna think that guy wait cuz you your parents copulated over a Roger more. Am I saying copulated right there moon raker?

Oh, I'm like poo and maker Poon raker would have been still fine. Okay, great. You don't have to change all the words. Okay. Dave's got a, the news is Dave's got a skill of turning anything into porn. Anything.

What would you have gone, what would you made moon raker, what would have been there? I mean, poo and raker is pretty great. Yeah. Okay. Poon breaker. Oh, poo breaker. Oh, I don't like that. Oh, I don't like that.

Oh, I don't like that at all. Dave, no. Can I just talk about this weird place in the middle of the ocean, please? You're going to lose me for a few minutes, because it's all I'm thinking about. I mean, this place is called Rough's Tower. Oh, all right. How do you spell Rough? I wrote you, G-H.

Oh, okay. I was gonna say not anymore But yes now and this point involves dogs I don't know why I did the thing with my hand like a meow Anyway, so They had like a bit of a shoot out when other people tried to So they had like a bit of a shootout when other people tried to take over. And petrol bomb. And do you think that the new people that are coming in are trying to just claim it for part radio readers?

Yeah. Yeah, I think so. It's a crazy biz. It's insane. So the Royal Navy turned up at some point to roughs tower where Roy's son Michael fired warning shots at the Royal Navy when they entered what Bates claimed to be Sealand's territorial waters. You're in our waters.

Yeah, wow. That seems like a... I can shoot at the Royal Navy if you're in our waters. And because it is funny how we think of someone who sets up their own country like, this is silly, you're being an idiot, but that's how all countries are initially set up, right? It's just someone going, this is mine now. It does feel a bit like it's too late for that now. Right.

Do you know what I mean? Like all of the land has been discovered. It's been split up, and you can't just wander in now, be like, mine. And even that, it's not land. It's a tower thing in the middle of the ocean that you've now made a, you're a prince of it. You're a prince of it, right?

To me, towers in the middle of the ocean are the only exception. Okay. I think you can claim it as a country. Okay, well. Well, how not? A lot of people in this story disagree, but a lot agree.

Fair enough, I was about to say, as long as you're not hurting anyone, but you are literally shooting at the Navy. Just warning shots. Oh, okay. But also the Navy are coming at him. What are you going to do? Stand up for you.

Well, hang on, because another thing I read was that it was just people coming into try and do a bit of repairs to one of the boys. Yeah, that's what they say. It's a Trojan horse for sure. So anyway, inside that horse floating on the ocean, was a submarine. Inside that submarine, a lot of men with guns.

Yeah. A lot of semen. And inside those semen, more semen. Yeah. Used to make future generations of soldiers. Yeah. Semen soldiers. Yeah.

Soldiers semen. So he was pretty smart to shoot at him. He's really at their balls. Yeah. And what was he shooting? himself for a gun. Okay. He's got to shoot at him. He's really at their balls. Yeah, and what was he shooting? himself for a gun. Okay. It's got great aim.

There's a real comfist. He was yelling, pew, pew, pew, as he just jerked off into the audition. Oh, and I'm done. This was over. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Um, sorry, but the, so he's fired warning shots, but he's still a British subject at the time. So he was summoned to court in England on firearms charges following the incident. But as the court ruled that the platform, which was now being called Sea Land, was outside British territorial limits, the case could not proceed. So the British court did not have jurisdiction over international affairs as rough towers lay beyond the waters of Britain. Wow, so he's shot at the name and got away with it. Well, Roy Bates, Roy Bates the dad took this as a de facto recognition of his country.

He's like, well, we can't rule them. It's unreal. So 70's later, he issued a constitution, a flag, a national anthem, some currency, and passports. What's the flag look like? I'm actually not sure. I'm looking it up. And you say 70's later, so in that whole time, has he just been living there? I think coming and going. Wow.

Yeah. I like it. It's science colors. I read one black on a diagonal. It's very close. You do that, that's Saints' flag. Yeah. That's true.

It's very good. But do the Saints have currency and passports? Oh, I don't see land dollars. Whoa. It's pretty wild. So Roy Bates had long intended to make the fort into a profitable business. And the plans that he had sort of cooked up with some other interested parties.

There was a group of German businessmen and entrepreneurs who were interested. So, he and the Germans are cooking up these grandiose ideas. Sounds like they're going to start a drug lab to me. Cooking up. You're not far off. They envisioned creating more maritime forts that would connect to Sea Land and host money exchanges, post offices, duty free shops, a casino maybe, a drug store, a heliport, hotels, apartments, an oil refinery, a lounge, and perhaps a coffee shop.

No promises on that. But we will have an oil refinery and a casino obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a post office and duty free. Duty free. Is this what Kevin Costner's water world was based on? I think so. In...

Nothing's free in water world. In August of 1978, Roy and his wife, Joan, are the princess. Uh, Drake? Oh, literally what they've started calling it. Yeah, so he's Prince Roy and she's Princess Joan. Why not kingdom? Why'd they go for Prince of power? No idea. Maybe the humble. Oh, that's good. Which I like. Yeah. To be honest, I appreciate that. Go off Prince.

I don't want to be a queen unless it's like KW, you know, like queen, yes queen, I wanna be a yes queen. I don't wanna be like queen Lizzy, I don't like queen, that seems exhausting. Right, yeah. That's in pretty exhausting. She's got a waddle around with her dogs, got a horse racing in case.

She never wears the same thing twice. Oh, exhausting getting dressed in the morning with a different thing that someone's picked for you. No, she never wears the same thing twice. Oh, zilce and getting dressed in the morning with a different thing that someone's picked for you. Oh, nightmare. I've been told recently, actually, in the last couple of weeks that she does pick. So she never goes upstairs in her bedroom. Because that's where the ghost is.

The ghost with her father. No, people come down, I think with pictures of potential outfits and swatches. She was the original clueless. People bring her down and yeah. That was so ahead of this time. Mix and match, machine. Every morning it is a montage of her in front of the mirror. Just holding things up in front of her like shaking her head. Yeah, and her best friend going no Only going yeah

Princess hand Sister is that a sister or daughter the daughter yeah, does this not a sister So a daughter is a best friend Lame I remember in high school whenever girls are like my mom my best friend I remember my mom being like no my mom I remember my mom being like, I'm not my mom. No, my mom, I remember my mom shutting me down and be like, I am not your friend. How good is that? But how have people in a situation

where they're publicly saying they're mom's their best friend in front of your mom? Where are you? Because I'd be like, mom, Sarah said her mom's their best friend. My mom would be like, lifeAY! I'm not your friend. That's a cool mom. And then I've brought that up with her more recently

and she's like, can I be your teenager? We need boundaries. Now we can be friends. Like, don't you fucking pity friend me, mom. I've got my own friend. Was it, was Gilmore girls peaking back then? Oh, maybe.

So everyone's like, yeah, my mom and I are just like, Laura, I am Rory. Ha, ha, ha. Alone and like Laura, I am Rory. Alone and my mum's kind of weird. Anyway, so we talk so fast, we drink a lot of coffee. So Prince Roy and Princess Joan drove to Salzburg in Austria. Oh yes, I've been there. Great beautiful city. Great Irish bar, I assume. Yeah, I'm going to fail again. Did you watch the man? I think I'm, I. Great beautiful city. Great Irish bar. I see. Yeah. What kind of fellow game did you watch for me? I think I think I'm.

Is it hockey? Do you watch some hockey? No, we watched the hostel. We stayed at played sound because it was where sound of music was filmed and maybe bass as well. And it was they the hostel played it every morning and night. So that's awful. Oh my God. And the way I see highest death rate of any monster. A weirdly high suicide rate. Just kill me now. Also the town that that Mozart was from. So there's a lot of every shop is selling Mozart merchandise. But the thing I remember most about going that we went out for Italian, which was close, you know, had a beautiful plate of New Yorkie. It went in Rome, sure.

But I remember the next one, I only say there a couple of nights, and I was falling asleep with music in my ears, and I was like an old school iPod. And I had my alarm set on. I told you a story about how I had it connect to a speaker on time. Yeah, is that there? In Seoul, no, that was in Ireland, but in Salzburg, I had headphones in to a speaker on time. Is that the end-souls? No, that was in Ireland.

But in Salzburg, I had headphones and the same thing happened. So no one else heard, but me. And what was your alarm at the time? I was system of a down attack because it was truck of hypnotars. And it, yeah, like it was a styling way to wake up. Yeah.

Oh, that would have been better. I'm sure I made that joke well. I think you wanted it. I think I did. to wake up. Yeah. Wake up. Oh, that would have been better. I'm sure I made that joke well. I think you might have. I think I'd do. That reads a bell. Anyway, can I try this sentence for a third time? Please do go on. Thank you so much.

So they went to Austria to meet a guy called Alexander Achenbach. Oh, that is fantastic. I can't be right, but that's what I'm gonna call him. What a beautiful language. I feel like that's gonna be a, I wish someone kept track. I wish one of us kept a spreadsheet of the great names. That's not a beautiful language. I feel like that's gonna be a, I wish someone kept track. I wish one of us kept a spreadsheet of the great night. No, I wasn't good.

But I reckon that'd be a top 100, yeah. That's a top 100. I mean, there's been so many that's a comeback. I can back. So they'll meet him and some others to finalize some of their plans for what they were gonna do with their land, sea land. Alexander was a German lawyer who described himself as a prime minister of sea land. Alexander was a German lawyer who described himself as a prime minister

of sea land, but unbeknownst to Roy and Joan, Alexander had hired several German and Dutch mercenaries to lead an attack on sea land while Roy and his wife Joan were in Austria. Whoa, this is like old school European kingdom type thing. What? It's insane. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like old school European kingdom type thing. What? It's insane. It's like, it's like a king, you go around the back. It's like an action movie. He's like a classic villain.

So they store the platform with speedboats, jet skis and helicopters. And they took Roy and Joan's son, Michael Hostage. The old school European was never involved jet skis. I'd love to have saying that. Arch Duke on a jet ski. Just like, it's worth numbers of. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna get you. Looking Henry, we cannot find a wetsuit big enough for you.

So they've taken, they've taken the Sun Michael hostage. Apparently they put him in the fort, single cell prison for several days. The fortnight prison. What the fuck? So this is from an article. There's an amazing article I read on, I had it up here a second ago,

on narratively.com. on how did I appear a second ago? Narratively.com. And this is a little bit from that. So it says, eventually the captors threw Michael onto a boat, which deposited him in the Netherlands with no money and no passport. A sympathetic skipper helped him get back to England where he linked back up with his parents. The reception wasn't necessarily warm. How can you throw away our life's work, his mother asked him in tears.

Like he was his fault. Yeah. That people stopped mercenary storm while he was alone. What have you done since you've gotten back to resolve the situation, Roy Thunders? So his parents are just like, what are you doing here, dickhead? Go get our, get a sea land back Don't get on a jet ski and take it back. You didn't see a mom and dad had three jet skis three Ah helicopter that is pretty it's pretty wild so Michael explained his ordeal

He says to this day. I can't sit with my back to a door or a room full of people This is in his memoir princip Principle of Sea Land, holding the Ford. The family quickly decided that the only possible response was to recapture the Ford. They gathered some rough and tumble friends and a few guns and elisted the talents of a pilot friend who had flown helicopters in a James Bond film. There's a lot of Bond connection. Yeah. Two. That's a lot. Count them. The plan was to fly to the fort,

repel down some ropes, and retake the principality by force. H-h-h-h-h. Attacking it dawnly descended from the sky, fired a single shot from a sort of shotgun, and tossed the captors into the brig. They ascended from the sky, fired a single shot from a sort of shotgun and tossed the captors into the brig. How you're sanded from the sky.

Here's what Michael said, you'll love this. We coup d'etat of the coup d'etat. Oh my goodness. A double coup d'etat. Yeah, they coup d'etat, but we coup d'etat of the coup d'etat. And then Roy says, you don't serve seven years in the army without learning a thing or two. Roy. So Alexander Ackonbach, who held a Sea Land passport, was charged with treason against Sea Land,

and was held unless he paid a fine of about 23,000 pounds. So Germany sent a diplomat from its London embassy to C-Land to negotiate for his release. Oh, on the ground, are they going, what the hell is happening over there? It's, I can't believe this is my job to sort the shit out of. Yeah. It's wild. So, Roy Bates relented after several weeks of negotiation and subsequently claimed that the diplomats visit constituted the Factor Recognition of C-Land by Germany.

Got you again. Which Germany has denied. Germany's like, no, we don't recognize you. And he's like, ah, but you do. So now England accidentally records. Who am I? Well, you're right. Recognize me.

Gotcha. I'm in the British sea land. British sea land. Ah, you recognize me. So, uh, Akinbach, and guy called puts established a government in exile, sometimes known as the Zealand rebel government or Zealandic rebel government in Germany. So they retreat back to Germany and make their own little Zealand government in exile.

That will come back later. Oh, okay. So I need to point out, like I just mentioned before, there, and I should have just waited for this. The rest of this report is heavily based on article by Dylan Taylor Lemmon, which was the one on narratively.com, which apparently is adapted from a chapter in his upcoming book about sea land. It's gonna be released next year. Weirdly excited about it now.

Saisal. But it was the only sort of source that I could find that had a lot of information about what happened next. So just putting that out there. Shout out to the lemon. Shout out. D-T-L. Dylan Taylor.

Down to lemon. So we're jumping forward a couple of decades now to the mid to late 90s. So Michael Bates, who's now in his 40s, was shocked to read an article in the newspaper that linked him and his family to the mid to late 90s. So Michael Bates, who's now in his 40s, was shocked to read an article in the newspaper that linked him and his family to the murder of Italian fashion icon, Gianni Versacci. No.

He's like, hang on a second. What am I reading in this paper? What's next to this fun cartoon? An article saying, my family's linked to a murder? He doesn't tell you that. It turned out that a passport issued by the Principality of Sea Land was found on the Houseboat, where Versace's murderer had committed suicide.

So it was like this guy had gone on a little bit of a killing spree. He fled, he ended up on a houseboat, and he was kind of surrounded, and he entered his own life. But there they found a passport from C-land. Investigators learned that the owner of the houseboat was a German citizen named Torsten Reineck, described by some acquaintances as well spoken and polite,

but by others as obnoxious, unpleasant and disgusting. So somewhere in the middle. Yeah, so it's just normal. Normal, yeah. He also owned a Las Vegas health spa where orgies allegedly took place I don't know why that's relevant. It's my first incident. Oh, that place sounds not oh Health spa in Vegas, lovely. Okay, again, why the health spa? Yeah of all places Yeah, it should be nice and clean. Why not just call it an orgy factory. Yeah.

I wish people would just be more honest. Be our fun. Be vulnerable, be authentic. Yeah. Just do what you say and say what you do. Couldn't agree more. Right. So he was also, this guy was also a socialite who loved showing off his Sea Land passport and was said to have diplomatic plates from Sea Land on his car. Consequently, authorities began looking into the micro-nation to see what role it may have played in Versace's murder. I mean, this is news to me that Versace was killed. When was this? Who is he? I was in the mid-90s.

Do you know Versace's fashion house? Yeah, sort of like the figurehead and founder of that. Right, he got murdered in the 90s. Yeah, I had the front of his house. Sheldon. Yeah. And then it was a house boat. Yep.

I mean, the plot thickens. Excuse me. You can have boats that are houses now? What? So July of 1997 is when he was assassinated. Same year as our Lady Dye. Yeah, it was a big year. And the Saints, in the end, top of the ladder.

Excuse me. Going down to the frozen the final, because we lost our two rockmen, Lays of Idevic and Peter the Spider-Everett. Anyway, so a couple of years later in Madrid, in the year 2000, a guy called Truio. I've definitely said that wrong. I looked it up. Truio, Truio. How do you spell it?

T-R-U-J-I-W-L-L-O. Is it Truio? Yeah. I'll just call him Ruiz. Double L is A-A. Ruiz, which is his surname. He was a Flamenco club owner and former police officer who'd been kicked off the force for burglarizing a home, was about to be interviewed by a journalist about his duties

as a high-level government official. The reporter had just turned on her recorder when the Spanish police stormed the room. Ruiz was under arrest, they announced, for allegedly selling more than two million gallons of diluted gasoline. He appeared very relaxed as he pulled out a diplomatic parcel. We're talking about E10.

Yeah. He pulled out a diplomatic passport and claimed immunity. The police had no right to be there, he said, as they were actually on territory belonging to another country. His office was the Cilandic Consulate in Spain. The passport looked legit and the police were puzzled as to how to proceed. However, after a little more investigation, they were confident that arresting him would

not violate any international laws. Far from being a diplomat, Ruez was one of the prime move and shakers in a gang of scam artists operating throughout the world. He was arrested and taken into custody for fraud, falsification of documents. And one of the gang's primary sources of income was the online sale of sea landic passports, nationality cards, and degrees from universities

supposedly based on the principality of sea land. Right, but there are no universities there. No. So customers could shell out between nine grand and 55, depending on what they needed. Wow. And what? And then most even the Spanish police,

look at it and go, nah. Yeah, so what's the point of that passport? I've no idea. This is a funny collectible. But also it's amazing they've got, so they've got set up offices in multiple other nations as well. Yeah. It's a big operation.

It's huge. So that must have been why they were so keen to have that, right? Yeah. Why, two decades earlier, people were storming it with mercenaries because of the, they saw the potential cash you could make. I guess so, I don't know. Right. I don't know what sort of motivated them.

So not long after his arrest, offices crashed two more C-land embassies in Madrid. One of them located... Hi, I am Kendra Adachi and I host the Lazy Genius Podcast. A Lazy Genius principle is to decide once. And I have done that by deciding that Olive and June is my go-to brand for ad home mayonnaise. I don't like to waste time and the Olive and June mayonnaise system has everything you need and nothing you don't. All withhome mayonnaise. I don't like to waste time, and the Olive and June Manny system has everything you need, and nothing you don't, all with gorgeous polishes that don't chip. Visit oliveandjune.com slash perfectmanny20 for 20% off

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Go to allbirds.com and use code Fresh Sox for a free pair of socks with purchase. In an office that managed bingo halls, so there were like weird places too. At least 20 fake diplomatic passports, hundreds more blank passports and 2, 2000 official documents were seized in the raids, as were two vehicles with C-land diplomatic license plates that had been escorted through Majurid by Spanish police on more than one occasion.

Well, they turned up and said, you know, we need a motorcade for our diplomats, and they're like, no worries. Of course, right this way. We should get a motorcade next time we go overseas to a show. I'd love that. Will we get Dugawon diplomatic plates? Yeah, we'll tell them away from the principality of Dugawon. Dugawon, and we have diplomatic immunity, or as you would say. Diplomatic immunity.

And we have a driver called Joe, like in Princess Dyer's. Oh, how could his Joe? Oh, he's the best. best character in that film series. Best character in the film series. If you don't know what man. What are you talking about? How do you both know the same thing? Because we're young Is that a young person thing? Yeah, it was a thing that was cool when we were young. Yeah, so you were like I don't know probably work in your eighth job. Oh I did and I and I had steady careers So yeah, eight job that, that's a long time. What is the name of the...

Genovia? Genovia, yes. Genovia is the name of the fake country that they come from. What are you talking about? No one's seen this movie. How have you not seen this movie? And, Hathaway? Please.

Jolian Drew? My generation version of that was little notebooks and people would draw pictures at them. God, that sounds dull. No, my generation version of that would have been the Princess Bride. No, well it's different just because they have Princess in the title doesn't make them similar. Every 10 years they make a film with Princess in the title. I was assuming that there was some sort of no princess Darius it's not the same

No, no and half the way doesn't have a sixth finger or whatever it is No Six fingers. They have six fingers six fingers on his left hand. I think it man Anyway, I never probably I think it was six fingers. Six fingers on his left hand. The six finger man. Anyway. I'm not saying that right. Probably. So C.L.A.N.'s true prints, Michael Bates. What, where was he this whole time?

He was just hanging out at home in Essex. He was tipped off to these strange goingons around the same time when a friend asked him about the documents for sale through the C.L.A.N. website and he was like, I don't know if we did. We have a website. Well, no, but he did. But like, they'd through the Sea Land website. And he was like, I don't know, we did. We have a website. Well, no, but he did. But like, they'd only just started the website.

It was like really new and they didn't have any kind of platform for selling stuff on it. So he was like, what are you normal about? And started a merch shop. So he goes, he checked his, oh, I mean, speaking of merch shop. We just started our own one. Yeah. Yeah.

Now we are selling passports. So the, if you're saying we sat our own one, it's probably stretching a little bit, just did our own one. Yeah. Yeah. We are selling passports. So the... If you're saying we sat our own one, it's probably stretching a little bit, just did all the work. I am part of the team though. Okay. Thanks so much. We started a merch shop.

Yeah. And we send them out on a weekly basis if you want to order t-shirts you can. That's right. And Jess will write you a nice handwritten note and also you're a dress on a piece of packaging. Also, I've been sick and my nails are too long. So my writing this week was really bad. So I'm sorry to anybody who is about to get a t-shirt. Do you go on pod.com? Right and as I link this. As a merch link you click on that tab, the merch tab and I'll take you

or shop and it takes you to. How big cartel page, and yeah there's a few different, a couple of different designs with different colors just and you're doing a fantastic job just sending that. Thank you so much. Look more to come so. and you get to wear some merch and support the show. So good. So good and I will try and get honestly we'll try and get passports in there soon. Some of the best fashion. Oh yeah real conversation starters. What the hell's that? If you're single buy one of these t-shirts and get ready Fuck Buy one of these t-shirts and get ready Fuck Cuz you don't look damn funny. Yeah, no shirts as DTF then shirt that says do go on

It's like a globe on it. Oh, what's that? I'm and I'm mr. Worldwide. There's a globe on your ship. There's a bulge in my pants They'll be like tell me more about this shirt over breakfast tomorrow. How do you like your eggs? What time should I pick you up? Oh, I didn't get it. Oh, you thought that would go yet for a little breakfast day? Oh, yeah, the next day. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Dave. He's got so much to learn about the world. About breakfast with strangers.

Oh. Fuck, I love breakfast. So pick you up at 10. 30. This is good. That's more of a brunch. I love a brunch. I love brunch.

Anyway, so Michael Bates is like, what's going on here? So he checks his website, which of course, was www.fruitsofthec.deemon.co.uk forward slash C-Land. How did he get in? So really? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I can't believe it was still available. I thought it was going to pay fortune. Often people just buy all these websites and you have to pay them. They just sit on a bit.

I got my dream to make. First guy. I thought I'm going to dream big. What do I want it to be? Perfect world. What's my website? C.Lan. C.Lan. C.Lan. It's available. No way. Lock it in.

I'm also like at fritzofacidotteamon.co.uk. Fritzofacidotteamon. Fritzofacil.deemon.co.uk. It's fritzofacil. Fritzofacil. It's confusing. Very confusing. Anyway, so we check his website. Once again, fritzofacil.deemon.co.uk or slash sealant. And the site was exactly how we left it.

Of course, you can't buy anything on there. He's like, well, that's confusing. So then he does a little bit of a tightly, tightly, tightly. Okay. Ask Steve. He searches the worldwide web. Okay. And he found another site. Um, with a much more manageable name, no, it was www.principality-sealand.net. That certainly makes a lot more sense. Yeah, the dash is a real old school, yeah, That's not a bad word. That's not a bad word. That's not a bad word. That's not a bad word. That's not a bad word.

That's not a bad word. That's not a bad word. That's not a bad word. That's not a bad word. That's not a bad word. That's not a bad word. That's not a bad word. That's not a bad word. That's not a bad word. How do we change our website? Do you want dot demon? Can you do a new backslash?

Backslash demon? It's just a phone of your butt. Do you want to put the cops? Backslash demon. I feel like an idiot because only a couple of weeks ago I put together a website for myself. And I just called like Jess Perkins. Dot demon?

No, dot com dot AU, like an idiot. Idiot. She's been dot AU, like an idiot. Idiots. She'll be in dot Damon, you fucking moron. So anyway, you go to principalativeclan.net and long behold, it was a website pretending to be the official website of Cland and one could indeed buy a number of Clandic documents. Including a passport.

Including a passport. You could buy degrees. Okay, these things still exist, where you like and buy a piece of paper that says you own like a square kilometer of the moon or something. Yeah. Yeah. But they're like five bucks.

But the people who own the moon set that up. This guy is the prince of C-Land, you know what he is? You don't go on and pay nine, between nine and 55 grand for your novelty passport. Well, it's because the moon ones are science fiction. The moon doesn't really exist. Sealand exists. Science facts. The same thing.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't know. I don't think it was seen as a novelty thing at the time. Like people used it to like open bank accounts or get jobs or proof that they were diplomats for this country. Do that with your moon deed dickhead. Yeah, go into the bank and be like, hello, change my card to Mr. Now, please. I've got, I own property on the moon. I own property.

They're like, okay, master Warnocky. Yeah, you can play with these blocks until your mum picks you up. But I have a bed now, sir. Please, we know that stuck on now. I can't wait, we weren't born yesterday, you were. I had a proud moment. On Sunday, I went up to Sydney for work for the day and I was trying to find food.

Nothing was open, classic Sydney. Suddenly I'm in the casino. Oh Dave. Which? Star casino. You mentioned that in the last episode, you were right. Yeah. And you used to be star the casino. Oh Dave. Which? Star casino. You mentioned that in the last week's episode, you were right. Yeah. And you used to be star city casino.

Right. I looked into it. So you were right on that fact. And then it became so- I'm not my casino. Anyway, I walk in there, people are getting ID. I just want to go and find a food court inside the casino. I walk up to the guy and he goes, oh, it should be fine.

After my beard. Never had that before. It still looks at my ID. But unless I'd hand it to him, which I'd just assume you had to. No. He would have let me in. Or refused to. Because of the beard. I just never happened to my life. I just keep walking until they stop me. I just act real confident and just keep going. If you go illegal for 10 years, I know.

Congratulations. And I've only looked legal for about six weeks. That's very exciting. You look barely legal. Yeah. And you can find me on belly legal teens don't even know. It's so rude. It's a team head. What was I saying?

It's gonna be an explanation. What's going to be next when I It's to laugh. Do you think it was just him going this will be badass? I want people to respect me. I had a country I could cause everyone. This show, yeah. Unless it was like you're back then you could do the free web design and they would just insert it. So maybe they got it made by a company called Demon.co.

He couldn't afford to just buy the outright domain. He's like well it's free. I just got a dot demon. That doesn't take away from the legitimacy of my word. And he's also got, and he's still ended it with the, he's saying now we're our own country, but I've still got a dot code on UK dot like S L. Yeah. Uh, forward slash C. That's the first time he mentioned C.

And fruit of the C-Land. What is Fruit of the C-Land? I want to know if it still works. Like, let's try. The live searching fruitofthec.deamand.co.uk. Fordslash. C-Land. It doesn't work! I'm shocked.

I wonder if it's up for grabs. Let's get it! Oh, please sign out there, buy that website for us. Just please, please. Oh, fuck, that was fun. So apparently, so Google fruits of the sea, and apparently the French for fruits of the sea is a plateau de fruits de mer, probably pronounced deeply into that.

That is a seafood dish of raw and cooked shellfish served cold on a platter, usually on a bed of ice. So he's named his country's website about a cold fish. After a roast dish. He called fish platter. Do you think when he's setting up the URL? He's accidentally typed in his password. He's Alfred to the sea dot. Amen. All right, okay, you guys let's see land great I'll just set that up. Oh, no, that's my password

It was fun Sorry, so these people in Spain getting busted big time? Well, Spanish investigators unraveled the web and found that the scams... The world wide web? They unraveled it. Oh my god. It's massive. They found the scams associated with the fake C-land paperwork involved more than 80 people

from all over the world. The scams were impressively wide-ranging. One ambassador used bootlegs, Cylandic documents in an attempt to acquire 1,600 cars and secure a 20 million euro loan to buy two private planes. Wow. Cylandic credentials were sold to Moroccan hash smugglers, and the gang reportedly sold more than 4,000 passports

in Hong Kong for a thousand dollars a piece. Well, Haggar was bought a security back then that this was working for everyone. He'd never gone to see that. I know, I haven't heard of it. But anyway, stamp away. Here's 1,600 cars. I'm sure I checked.

No. I mean, it's all here. I'm sure I checked now. I mean, it's all here. I mean, dot demon. I mean, it was the 2000s. So new countries popping up all the time, back then. Who knows? Hello. Hello.

What kind of wacky Central American country? This is C-land, right? Right out. I'm sure it's probably an Africa and never heard of it. So Markle's blown away by this. He was like, we were completely shocked with the information and papers. He showed us.

He's made no money from it. No, he goes, we knew nothing at all about it. He stormed to get it back and then someone else to set up a website, probably from the Landrum in Berlin and just made all the money. He knows it was all news to us. Even more incredibly, the gang's leadership had begun negotiating with members

of the Russian Mafia to buy tanks, helicopters, bombs, missiles, and ammunition through a shell company set up with bootleg, c-landic documents, and they intended to then sell these firearms and weapons and everything else to Sudan, which was under embargo by many governments of the world for being a terrorist state at the time. So they're like, no worries, sedan, we got you. F-fuck, all on fake documents. What a fake country that no one until now, until the Spanish police. Checked. Ugh, my stomach still hurts from laughing.

So that guy mentioned Trio Ruez, reportedly first learned about C-land while working in Germany for a man named Friedbert Lei, who had launched his own C-Land fan website. He launched his own C-Land fan website in 1998. And whoops, yep. And he asked this guy, Rewers, to set up a Spanish branch office of the Cilander government. When confronted by investigators about the fake passport, Rewers considered they were made in Germany, but said he had been appointed acting head of state by the Royal Family of Cilander and been given authorization to issue Cilander passports.

And he was like, hey, Rewerbates, he's a vegetable. His son, Michael, he chose me and I accepted, but Roy Bates was fine. He's like, the families in turmoil, they chose me and they're like, no, they're not, they're fine. What did he say, vegetable like? Like a vegetable of the sea. Don't do it.

Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Vegetables of the sea. Oh, it's so good. Meanwhile, Trio, Trio Ruiz's father, who shares the same name, told a reporter that it was bad fortune that he had passed his name onto such a numb skull

The investigatio the investigation into his son's criminal activities resulted in his father's bank account being frozen and He's he's he's it also contributed to his parents divorce He goes I knew this seal and affair was not gonna turn out well I'm convinced they used him because he doesn't have the ability to pull off something like that He's not very intelligent. Wow. Thanks, Dad. Dad, brutal. But, who do we know in Germany who would have anything against Seeland? A certain prime minister?

Hmm. So the government in exile. Anglumical. Which is all. Oh, I know, Chancellor. Anyway, please. The government in exile who'd had gone back to Germany. They said they said they had absolutely nothing to do with the late 1990s Spanish passport scam.

They wouldn't even ask about it. We had absolutely nothing to do. We did not sell 4,000 passports exactly for a thousand dollars. Oh, shit. I don't even know what you're talking about. for a thousand dollars, oh shit. I don't even know what you're talking about. Hm? Despite the denial, investigators noted that the circumstantial evidence linking the Germans to the scam was pretty strong.

So Torsten Reinick, who owned the houseboat with Versace's murder, a murder-a-turned-up dead, was linked to the same Germans who worked with Ruez, and these Germans all led back to Alexander Akinbach. Former Prime Minister of the government in exile, and the man who attempted to coo the Sea Land, coo of Sea Land in 1978. In the mid-1990s Akinbach, set up a company called the Sea Land Trade Development Authority Limited, through the infamous Panamanian law firm Mosach

Fonseca, said to be one of the world's top creators of Shell companies. According to information revealed in the Panama Papers leak of 2016, this company was set up in the Bahamas using a C-Landic passport and envelopes bearing C-Landic stamps, so it all fakes shit anyway. Similarly, Akinbach and an Austrian couple named Joseph and Eva Bayer opened a bank account in Slovenia in 1996. They caught the attention of the Slovenian authorities when 6 million euro suddenly appeared in the account in March 1997. Officials expected that the money was from laundering or organized crime or a pyramid scheme. And not long afterwards the buyers, the couple, came into the bank and withdrew 200,000 from

the account. Again, they're using Cilandic documents. And when they attempted to withdraw 4 million more, the bank gave them a smaller amount and sent them on their way. They're like, oh no, you can't have 4 million. I don't know how much they gave them, but I'm assuming it's still a lot. But then they were arrested as they tried to cross into Italy. And then Slovenia had long since put a hold on Ackonback's account, which then triggered an eight-year legal battle between Ackonback and the Slovenian state,

who struggled to prove that the money had come from an illegal source. So he was like, you have to release my money to me. And they're like, we're pretty confident in your dodgy. He sued Slovenia in 2010 for preventing access to his money, asking for 1.3 million in compensation for the difficulty the government had caused him over the past eight years Keep it but he was 79 years old when he started this lawsuit in 2010

He died in the middle of litigation at the age of 80. Oh damn I don't know if it is a damn because he's pretty full of shit. Yeah, no old damn It's like what a waste of your time totally like why spend your last years doing that Anyway, so. So he's died. But are you getting the feeling that he's made millions from this game? I think, look, I don't really know. I don't know.

It's so weird and layered and... Yeah, there's so much dodgy stuff there, isn't it? There's shell companies and it's a mate. It feels like a movie. Totally. But C-Land itself is like pretty innocent. Yeah. So the principality of C-Land.

Yeah, it's just, you mean the thing floating in the wall? The family, this was the family there. The structure. I mean, it didn't do any of this. No, that's true. It was just sitting there, ball-bonding the ocean. The structure is definitely innocent. Hey, is this anything?

Fruit of the sea on the streets, dot demon in the sheets. Yeah, it's pretty good. Okay. My favorite is also the idea of just sort of him, I'm handing out business cards and these emails, info at fruits of the sea, dot demon, dot code dot UK, full of slash sea land, or Roy at fruits of the sea, dot team and dot code dot UK for which last seal. Or Roy at the sea. So bad.

So the principality of seal end then greatly reduce the number of passports it issued following the scams of the 90s. How are they still issuing passports? Well, they stopped altogether after a certain thing that happened that you could say changed the world 9-11. Oh things are the city 2000 Olympics and what and it's spectacular. I thought you were gonna say Nicky ribs, sir Nicky ribs there. So after 9-11 no more passports issued. Huh? Today, however, the principality does offer a legitimate way to become a citizen of Sea Land.

The Bates family sells royal titles, an official business whose proceeds go only to funding the honest initiatives of the true, Cilandic government. Is that just mean they're pockets? You can buy royal title, or you can be like a jucor a duchess or a knight. Do you have any idea what it costs? It, I thought I had here.

I know what your 10 grand should go to was now, Dave. You in the park, come on. You in the park, come on, Tishin. It actually wasn't completely unreasonable. It was like 50 bucks maybe. Right, and you say, anyway, do they let you do a tour of it? Can we go podcast from C-Land? That'd be pretty cool.

That'd be so amazing. Yeah. Here we go. I hang on online shop. It's where the surely we buy. Hang on, online shop. It's where the surely we buy us, knighthoods from there. Surely we can record a lot of.

Well, the knighthood is $146.99. Well, Spent. You can become. If you win that pie thing, you've got to give us all titles. And then if anything's left, then you can go to Antarctica. I'm okay with being a lady.

It's only $45. Okay. You'll be a lady, what will Matt be? He could be a Baron or a Baroness or a Count. Oh, please. A Duke? Oh, they're all good, but Baron's great. Baron's good. That's also $45. Yeah, I'll be a Baron. Okay, if I win the park competition, please vote.

Baron and Lady. I will grant us all. I'm not looking to have kids anytime soon anyway, so. Oh, Matt. I'm not looking to have kids anytime soon anyway, so. Oh, Matt. I'm so sorry. It's a pun! Is that a pun? Yeah, I did it! I did it!

I did it! I did it! Thank you! I did it! Do you get it, Lou? Do you get it, Baron? Ron, Matt, do you? I wasn't even making a joke there.

It's just being honest and vulnerable with us. Yeah, now. For once in a while. Not planning on having kids anytime soon. No. Thank you. Me either. I actually met Swire. People got called barons and baron asses because they were. I'm genuinely excited to look into if you can visit Zealand. Oh, look, it's pretty far out. And if not, let's just go to SeaWorld on the Gold Coast. That will do as well. I also did do like a um I watched this documentary kind of things. The interviewer's the journalists went out with them

and the like. I'm a date. Yeah. I think I was watching Love Island. No so it goes out like a boat with would be Roy's grandson and granddaughter now. They're going out at a boat. And the way that they get onto Sea Land is like there's someone there. They lower down this like swing seat thing and you sit in it and they hoist you up. It's very glamorous. What show is this? It was like a docky thing when I watched about it.

Oh, right. Anyway. Ah, okay. At the end I'll reveal what I found here. So Prince Roy and Princess Jon passed away in 2012 and 2016 respectively. Oh my God. Yeah, they've been old and it happens. It's very natural.

That's our king. Roy was 91 or something. Jon was 86. So they had a good ending. Wow. I'm impressed and pleased. But the country is going strong more than five decades after it was founded. And Michael says, we've been a country longer than Dubai has been in existence.

Yeah. Cup that Dubai. How do you feel about that Dubai? Sure. You've got a lot more structure than we do in an actual airport. Yeah. But is that all? No.

Oh, you've got more infrastructure. Well, great. We've got plans of a cafe, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Perhaps a coffee shop, don't know. Anyway, so he only takes philly intermittent trips out to the fort these days,

but sea land is always occupied by at least one armed caretaker. Is it sitting in a rocking chair with a shotgun? One armed caretaker. Do you say that? No. By one. Yes. Armed caretaker. Still could be taking that one armed caretaker. Do you say that? No. By one. Yes. Armed caretaker.

Okay. Still could be taking that. My one armed caretaker. Yeah. By an armed caretaker. Oh, so there's at least one arm on this caretaker. Fuck you, boys. We can confirm this one arm.

I've got like two dot points left. I wasn't in it. And my voice is going. I wasn't trying to fuck with you there. I thought that's what you said. And that would have mean I wouldn't have put that on. Maybe he's got one arm. Maybe he's got one arm. I don't going. I wasn't trying to fuck with you there. I thought that's what you said. And that would have been, I wouldn't have put that on. Maybe he's got one arm, I don't know. There's nothing, I'm not saying there's any problem here.

There isn't at all. Maybe they do. They'll be still be able to do the job. So no problem. Drama from Death, I bet I'm going to get one arm. The drama from Death, I've only got one arm. Drama from Death, I've got one arm. That's true. What's that song here? The drummer from Deliver is only got one arm. Drone from Deliver, there's only one arm. That's true. What's that song again? That's something by...

Uh... Was it cold? They had a song called The Bad Touch. Oh Bloodhound Gang. Bloodhound Gang. Never got a good team like. The government in exile is still going strong as well. And it's led by Prime Minister Johann W.F. Saiger, since a constitutional

amendment transformed a transferred power from Akinbach in 1988. The group has become even more bizarre and sketchy under his reign. It's philosophies are driven by UFO-infused Aryan mysticism and the quest to harness a force like energy called real Expression to say that So that whole sentence again, please No problem. So good. It's philosophy is driven by UFO infused Aryan mysticism and the quest to harness a force like energy called RILD. Where did that come from? Hard to say.

Wow. I kind of didn't want to look into it just so that it's more fun. This country has been through a lot. So much. And to sum it all up, this is actually just about this guy, Saiga. This is from Dylan Taylor Lemon. He says Saiga has been investigated from Dylan Taylor-Lemon. He says, Saiga has been investigated

for numerous shady financial and land dealings over the years, and he's been suing to get back the nuclear and chemical weapons entrusted to his safekeeping that the illegitimate German government took from him. Saiga asked this writer if I could put him in touch with Donald Trump to help him with his quest, cancelling further contact when I was unable to do so.

He's like, can you put me to a Trump? Put me on with a Donald, this is cool, though, but. And so that is the story of C-Land. That is an amazing tale. It's an amazing tale. The micro-nation of Essex. They're really gone to hell and hacking back. Oh, wow, that's good stuff.

Now, I can't tell you this is an official website because it's only clandgov.org. OK. But I Google Can you visit C-land? It says, Principleity Notice. Visitors to the principality due to the current international situation and other factors, visits to the princip of C-LAND are not normally permitted. Accordingly, the application list for visa is for the time being closed.

Emergency or other special circumstances suggesting that a visit might be appropriate require prior approval from the Bureau of Internal Affairs. Or requests carefully considered and a delay of at least 30 days Maybe expected before a decision is made. It is highly unlikely that permission to submit a visa application would be granted Should we email just in case it really does feel like we should get on to this. Yeah, I'm so it's gonna be delay Yeah, we need to get on to it soon. Yeah, could you get the wheels in motion there? Absolutely. We'll send that email tonight. Guys, they accept Bitcoin, so. Wow.

We're set. That seems trustworthy. Oh man, I still feel exhausted now from laughing. Don't team it. That was so fun. So yeah, that's my report. That was a great report. It's a great report.

I'd never heard of that at all. I would have definitely seen it in like a like a listicle type thing of like, you know, places you might not know about that kind of thing. Yeah. Now, if Google the image of it, yeah, I've definitely seen that kind of thing. But I had no idea of its wild history. And we appreciate that the patrons, of course, voted for the best topic that I'm sure. They did really well.

And speaking of patrons, actually, that's what this part of the show is all about. It's all about appreciating and thanking some of our wonderful Patreon supporters who do so by going to patreon.com forward slash do go on pod. Do go on pod? Do go on pod? Do go on pod. Do go on pod, that's right. And they submit a little bit of money every single month.

And in exchange, you get rewards. We've got one part, that's right. And they submit a little bit of money every single month. And in exchange, you get rewards. We can get rewards. You get to know about our live shows before anyone else does. You get involved in the Facebook group that has a lot of activity going on, which is really cool. There's hundreds of members in there.

Just puts out a newsletter every week, so you can keep up with us a little bit more. And we give shout outs. And probably most popularly, is we put out two bonus episodes that no one else hears every single month, so. Say secret. That's right.

And we talk about all of you, and we try and work out the secret of Vrill, the... How the harness is real. Vrill. Vrill. Vrill. Vrill. I'm on board, but can we call it something else?

No, I don't want to say to the meeting. Real. So it's V-R-I-L. I'm going to die on this hill. It's real. It's brilliant. Is that a poem? Yeah, kind of.

Yeah, it's. It's a. To play. Yeah. Onwards. I, it's a play. Yeah, onwards. All right. Love it. Good stuff. And yeah, so another section before we thank a few of the people by name on that support the Patreon, Matt does a little fact quite a question section for people that belong to the Sydney, Shineberg, Rest in Peace, Deluxe, Package, Tia. I'm loving this section to show more and more of it. It's kind of like the sealed section because some people do stop just before now, I think, but I think a lot of

people keep listening. And now they're gone. Wasn't reading the sealed section. Yeah, good question. This is a lot of people skip to this section a lot. When does the report end? Let's get to the good stuff. But if people do support us on Patreon, especially on the Sydney Shindburg Rest and Peace Deluxe Memorial package or above, you get to give us a factor quote or a question. I'll read out one of them each week, and the people who do give me one of those also get to give themselves a title. And this week, And the people who do give me one of those, also get to give themselves a title. And this week, our fact-quotal questioner is, Sof Waldren. Sof Waldren!

We know her well! And that's why her title, which makes sense, is the official live show photographer. Yes. Sof gets roped into taking a lot of photos for other people. Not roped, but she's always just nearby. And so we... And happy to do it. Happy to do it. She's an absolute delight. And also, now that she's done it so often, but she's always just nearby. And so we... And happy to do it.

Happy to do it. She's an absolute delight. And also, now that she's done it so often, now I purposefully do it. And she's like, okay, so if you'll take eight photos, won't you? She's also, you know, I've made it official. Exactly. Right now. So she loves it.

She's owning it. And I love that more. Which is a inter-sea land star. So difficult to say that. Yeah, but there's two gone official. The principality of do go on. We got to do it so so

Okay, the official live show photographer has given us a fact and this is her fact and I'd never read out the facts the quotes of the questions Until I read them out obviously and I'm reading it out right now. I work in jules And a customer brought in a synthetic diamond to get made into a ring. I got very excited once you told me the diamond is made from her mom's ashes. Yeah. It's not getting shot into space, but I think I'd like to spend my afterlife

as a flawless, precious stone. Now that I don't know, it's an option. Oh hell yeah. Wow, I think, this is a person I imagined would just wear the jewelry like your mom's on the internet forever. Yeah, your mom's always with you. That's cool.

That's sick. You can pass your mom down from generation to generation. Hey, a person, pass them a mom. Yeah. Will you take my mom in holy matrimony? Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. But I didn't know you could become. mum. Yeah. Will you take my mum in Holy Matrimony? I didn't know you could become that's awesome. Come a diamond. Yeah, that's I'll do that shine bright like a diamond forever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Diamonds are forever. I've heard this. That is true forever. We thought you were just to sing we're not the other. Yeah, all right. What else is this? Duh. Finger. Just having fun. We've got black diamond. I think any other diamond tracks? Dave? Diamond Daz. Diamond Daz. I guess what's trend? Diamond Daz by... Is that a thing? No.

Is that a bowie thing? Diamond Dogs. Diamond Dogs and Demon Daz by Gorillas on Burj there. Dogs, diamond dogs and demon days by Gorillas are merged there. Dot, demon? Dot, demon, dot, demon days. And you're, what did you say, diamonds are a girl's best friend? Yes. Very popular one.

Yeah, I know, Dave, I'm a very popular girl. No, I just wanted to point that out in case people didn't hear it and they're yelling, how did she not get that really famous one? I got it. I know everything Nicole Kidman's ever done. She doesn't suck at all. She sucks. Oh, okay, here we go. Hating on another Australian celebrity. Oh, here we go.

Did you get paid in a lot of things announcing Bindi Irwin's engagement? Fuck, didn't it? Oh, do you think maybe Steve Irwin's in a ring? Oh, so to speak. How did their boyfriend get his ashes? You're a tiny family. Sorry. Fiance. Ah, tiny family. Sorry, fiance. Oh, fiance.

Hey. Anyway, it won't last. That's my bed. Oh. My bed is, it'll last through the ages, because it is a love as big as the stars. Yeah, true. I mean, anybody who meets someone when they're like 15,

that's definitely the person you're gonna marry, and be with forever. Yeah. Um, get out there. It's happened before I'm sure. 15 that's definitely the person you're gonna marry and be with forever. Yeah Get out there. It's happened before I'm still hoping my high school girlfriend comes back Any day now she's just gone out to get some smokes Got to get some smokes and come out and had a couple of kids with someone else, but anyway, she'll be coming back really Let's talk about that off

I don't see pictures. Anyway. So now we also like to thank a few of our Patreon supporters. We'll let you thank a couple. And normally what we do is just comes up with a little game for us to play. Something based on the topic of the episode. What are you thinking today, Jess? I was thinking, well, first of all, I was thinking, like, giving them the name of their principality.

Oh, that makes sense. But also, but it would be much harder, but the real highlight was the website. OK. Giving them a website. I'm saying that would be much harder for us, but far out those harder to come up with something stupider than dot d dot code.

You can. True. Yeah. So let's just name the principality. OK, great. Well, I'd love to thank from Overland Park in KS, Kansas, in the US. Kansas. It's Savannah Floyd. Oh, and name.

Do you think sometimes they fake it? I reckon they can't be a real name. That's a stage name for sure. There's a few good names in today's lot, I reckon. Oh, right, good. Savannah Floyd and she would be then the princess of, let's do a word each. Okay, I'll pick it off. This good stuff.

Mm. Boulder. Wood. Hills. Oh, that sounds like a fancy estate. That's right. You know? Princess of Boulder Wood Hills. Oh, that sounds like a fancy estate. Yeah. You know? Princess of Boulderwood Hills.

Yeah. I love that. So, Anna. It's a lash island off the coast of Costa Rica. Oh, wow. But it's also like a gated community. There's a gator on the whole island. It's a prison.

You can have an ease. It's a prison. Hey, so it was a spell, yeah. Twist is, they're all prisons. Yeah. Yeah, good point. We're a prison. Look at us now. We're free.

We're good by sea. Young and free, apparently. We've got so much room for everyone. Says our answer. I'd also love to thank you so much Savannah Floyd Floyd if that is your real name doubtful. It just can't be. I'd also love to thank from Newport in Melbourne, Australia. Oh. Bonnie car. Bonnie car. We're going to Bonnie car. I like that. Hopefully she'll get that. Oh, she better. Bonnie. I like the name Bonnie. I love Bonnie. Yeah, sure for anything Bonnie. Ta

The one of it Bon epitit and bomb epitit Ebony My is a real answer. Oh, that's true. Sometimes she could also just be Bonnie. Yeah That's absolutely gone out. They've gone out the window. It's a I'm just sorry. I'm saying this a lovely name big fan of it Bonnie car. I'll say the first word this time. Great. Bonnie. Sorry. That's just the first name Bonnie car Bonnie car. Yeah, I love that name Bonnie car was that sure for something? Bonnie Kekella. I've been a Bonnie car Okay

Orange wipe Hello Orange wipe Hello First wage in the orange waffle oh Orange I mean it's growing on me. Yeah orange. Well hello, and hello to you welcome to our beautiful country Princess The OWA. Hello. Hello.

And welcome. That's very cute. Thank you so much, Bonnie. Thank you, Bonnie Karr. You're a highness. May I thank some people? Please. I would like to thank from New Haven.

New Haven. CT. What's CT? Connecticut. Connecticut. Jordan Gage. Oh, Jordan Gage. That sounds like a spy. I have action here. Yeah Jordan gauge Jordan gauge Jordan gauge Jordan gauge

Jordan gauge Jordan Jordan gauge! Stop me please someone. Okay, you have another first. I'll go first. Um, church. Sensable. Valley. Yeah. Church sensable.

See, he kind of always ties it together. Have you noticed that? He brings it back so he's like, Hills, Valley. Hello! Hello! Now, that's boring. I mean, we could just say, we could say Hill or Green or something boring at the end of each one like Dave I think that I think you I think Bonnie or like Ray she did pretty well

Good stuff. Thank you so much. Short and gauge Connecticut my goodness. We don't have that many patrons from Connecticut Connecticut tell me about is that from the Midwest every, most places I don't know much about it. No, it's like a North East, not right up above New York. Oh, Connecticut. Oh, Connecticut. And now I can never get it. So now I need it. Now I need the golden mile.

Okay, so it's between both of you. Now you can never get it. Sorry, that was a good bit. I got lots of geography there. Just just tell me it. Tell me. No, she said now I can't get it. Can't get it. No, that's good. That's good. I apologize. How do I can get it? Oh, I'm so sorry. All I wanted to just since you've been away. I don't know if you heard last week's episodes. I was away for one episode. Well, in that time I've fallen in love with a new state. It's called Vermont. Oh yeah.

Why are you so into Vermont? And they creamies. I have a creamy. I haven't listened to the episode yet. I did mean to. Oh, they do, don't. I've been asleep. Okay.

The question is for you. Creamies, they sell them across this state or the gas stations have them. They're signed for creamies everywhere. What do you think a creamy is? It's an ice cream. Oh, it is. You have listened to the episode. I haven't, but I just took a guess. She did. They're signed for creamies everywhere. What do you think a creamy is? It's an ice cream It is I haven't but I just took a guess she did she I wanted to say it was some kind of like donut or like a I'm imagining a Cadbury cream egg

Oh, okay, no ice cream. No, it's like a slightly thicker soft serve. Oh right. They only call them creamies there Oh They're proud of it. So we're gonna go over and have a creamy. We've added Vermont to the golden mile. Yeah, so it's an extra 14 hour drive. It's had a quite a bit of time to it, but we'll do that drive. I didn't agree to that.

Did Naomi on my behalf? Yeah, she said she was... I'm gonna lose the bag. She agreed to a lot. But she did. Yeah, yeah, you're in a lot of trouble. Oh no. So the next person I want

to thank, no address listed. So I have no idea. I assume Vermont. Let's say Vermont. I'm guessing the great state of Ohio. Second greatest state there is after the month. You've got same Vermont number one. I think it just needs a little bit more love. Bloody hell. Second place populated. We know who else needs some love. Who? Alexander Smith. Oh, that sounds like a pseudonym. Yeah, no address.

Alexander Smith. What are you hiding? Why not, why not, why not, why not, why not, is this a money laundering thing for you? Just because you didn't want to give us your address. Doesn't mean you don't deserve to be thanked. Yeah, thank you. You know who you are, Alexander Smith.

I'm saying that in a minute, come on thank you. You know who you are. Alexander Smith. I'm saying that in a bit of a comment. Yeah. You know that you're real. Yeah. I mean, you don't have an address, but we're about to give you a country. Yes. And that country is.

Phone time. Happy. Man. Phone time. Happy man. Phone time. Happy man. Give me a call.

A phone time. Happy man. Give me a call. A phone time. happy man. Give me a call phone time happy man We are good at this phone time happy man. I did set you off on a weird path there You're right Dave really does title in together. Hey, I tried something new because you begged at my last A point. Yeah, he was trying to it was trying to adapt to what you know what your old solven phone time happy Valley He was trying to it was trying to adapt to what you know what your old Sullivan phone time happy Valley Ten oh yeah, now do that go back to your boring. I'm happy ten phone time happy ten

man Fine time thanks Alexander Smith. We don't know much about you, but we know we like you yeah, yeah, and that's all we need to know We need to know exactly right. Oh my god, I've just read the next name. I don't know if you've seen it, Matt. I've prepared. I'm prepared. I would like to thank from Denver, Colorado, home of Blizzifer and two great airports. I would like to thank.

It's got to be fake. First name, Maverick. So name, Valdez. Maverick Valdez. Oh, that is the good shit. Oh, yeah, that's good. Maverick Valdes, where have you been on my life? Maverick Valdes.

But we can't come up with anything as good as that. If you tell me to come up with a great name, I would not come up with a name that good. No, no way. Your parents' allegiance. Wow. Absolutely. Although actually, I assume a person called Maverick Valdez

probably didn't even have parents. They probably just willed themselves into existence. And said, I'm here. He's always been there. He's always been there. Yeah. You look around, he's in the corner. I've always been here.

Wendy, how'd you get there? I'm always here. I've always been here. Maverick Valdez. Name anything? Got a mania. Where did you get there? I'm always here. I've always been here. Maverick Feltes. Nanything? Got a creamy. In my pants. Oh, Maverick.

I'm like you get away with that. In the workplace, but only you. For you are the Maverick. All right, I'm going to say word, Matt, you're middle and Jess, you bring it home. Maverick Feltes. It's a country of cold. Harpoon. Oh, living.

Buttle. Oh, Harpoon Living Buttle. Yes, I'm using things I can see in this room. Me too. Harpoon on the wall. And we are all living here. For now, yes. Wow, Maverick Felder's.

Maverick Felder. Thank you so much in Colorado. And from Denver to another place in Colorado, Highlands Ranch. Oh, I love that. Rancher Alexa. I would like to thank Nick Lewed. Oh, Lewed.

Nick Lewed. Another fantastic. Nick Lewed. Nick Leweddy. I think it's Nick Leweddy. All right. Let me kick this off. I'll go middle.

That's where I love to go. I'm the middle spoon. Okay, I'll go middle, that's where I love to go. I'm the middle spoon. Okay, I'll try and read that. When we all snagged. Okay, so Nick Luehd. Okay, just blanking the mind. I'm just letting people imagine us. Just saying, blanking it out.

Light as a feather, stiff support. Light as a feather, stiff as a ball. Light as a feather, stiff as a ball. Craft. Fome. Heights. Oh yeah, okay. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. just to support writers and feathers to support craft. Fome. Hites. Oh, yeah, okay. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good. Check that, check a dot demon after that. You're cooking with gas. Now you're sailing. Oh, Nikola, where appreciate your support. Wish you all the best in the new country. Yeah, congrats everyone. I love after it.

May your laundering be more successful than everyone in our story today. Hopefully, yeah, just look after it. May your laundering be more successful than everyone in our story today. Hopefully, yeah, just look after your people. All right, just know that they look up to you. Be there for them. Yeah. Let them have free salt if they need it.

Yes, every country needs free salt. Long live Turk and Bashy. Yeah, so thank you so much to everyone that supports the show on Patreon. So I can evolve. If you to at patreon.com.com So I should go on parts, chucking a little bit of Australian coins or Sea Land notes. Whatever the currency. Yeah, I don't know what the currency was called. You know what? In America they called dollars.

What? You as dollars. That's fun. Are you saying that right? I like that. That's fun. Are you going to the UK's go this good? Pound. That's fun. Pound. Pound. Pound. Stirling. I mean, Dong is pretty good. Dong is great. Yeah. We love a Dong. I love a messy dog. I love it. You know, I love any sort of dog. Big dance more done. Yeah Do go dog and that really does bring us to the end of this episode Absolutely and if you want to get in contact with us We should probably let you know that you can do that at any time all the links are in the description of this episode or also at do go on pod Dot com. Yeah, we have a Facebook and Instagram, a Twitter account where we post pretty much every single day

and it's at do go on pod on those platforms. We're a YouTube account, we can see us performing live shows if you can never make it to one and also all the other back catalog of episodes and that's at youtube.com slash do go on pod. And yeah, like us on the social medias if you haven't. We have way less locks than listeners. And I don't know why that is.

Yeah, surely you're all on Instagram, right? Right? Yeah. If you're not, what are you doing? What are you doing? I just make grow up, all right? Grow up. Grow up.

Read a book. Sign up to Instagram. Okay. If you don't have an Instagram sign up, and just like us. That's fine. Yes. That'll be enough to make your life 10% better. We've got at least four pages to follow.

The three of us, and do go on. Oh, how about that? Get on it. And while you're there, why don't vote for me to be the gourmet pie guy, and I'll spend the money making us the Lord's Dames and Barons of Seatland. And then going on a trip by yourself. Yeah, to eat a pie. A little place I've never eaten a pie.

It feels like... Wait, wait. Do we still get a pie? Oh, yeah, you get a pie as well. A pie and a lady ship. Yes. Okay, I'll... That's how I announce it to you.

And also tickets to fly with you to these countries. I'll see what I can do. Okay. Yay! And yeah, go to do go on to these countries. I'll see what I can do. Yay! And yeah, go to dogoonpodslashshows. Dogoonpod.com. .comslashshows. Not.demon, I'm so sorry.

Haven't got it yet. This is a pointing. And you can find out about any lives. You might be listening to this in a years' time. And any new shows will be on that site. And show upcoming shows I'm doing with Jess. You can find out details about them at matstjudcomedy.com slash gigs.

And I'd be real nice to see you at all, any and all of these things. Good night. All right, well, I think we've probably go on that note. So thanks for listening. We'll be back next week with another episode. We are crawling closer to,

can you believe we've done this nearly 200 times? No. How we finished that? I really can't. OK. Good night. OK. I mean, my turn off is just goodbye.

There it is. Thank you and goodbye. Later. Bye. Good night. OK. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites.

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