Do Go On - 205 - Oneida Community: From Sex Cult to Dinnerware

Episode Date: September 25, 2019

Which 19th Century sex cult evolved into a dinnerware company? The Oneida Community! Set up by John Humphrey Noyes in the mid 1800s, hear about the Oneida Community (aka Perfectionists aka Bible Communists) and Noyes' bizarre theories about sex and the afterlife. Tickets are selling fast for our upcoming live shows in IRELAND AND THE UK, grab tickets here: https://dogoonpod.com/events/Second LONDON show is on sale on Monday September 30 at 11am London time. Check out Matt's YouTube panel show Footy Footy Foot! http://youtu.be/fnRZobFTWpA Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSubmit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Buy tickets to see Matt and Jess live:https://mattstewartcomedy.com/gigshttps://www.jessperkins.com.au/showsOur awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://timeline.com/it-was-sex-all-the-time-at-this-1800s-commune-with-anyone-you-wanted-and-none-of-the-guilt-c7ea4734e9cahttps://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oneida_Communityhttps://www.nytimes.com/1999/06/20/business/why-the-keepers-of-oneida-don-t-care-to-share-the-table.html?pagewanted=allhttps://www.britannica.com/topic/Oneida-Communityhttp://www.nyhistory.com/central/oneida.htmhttps://gawker.com/inside-the-19th-century-free-love-commune-powered-by-el-1774756002https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Humphrey_Noyeshttps://www.britannica.com/biography/John-Humphrey-Noyeshttps://biography.yourdictionary.com/john-humphrey-noyeshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18MrYQrpAeI Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

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Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hey, it's just Matt here dropping in quickly to tell you that our UK tour is now on sale. The London show has sold out. And the Bristol show I think is pretty much sold out or is just about to be sold out, but there are tickets left to some of the other shows,

which are in leads. They're also in Birmingham and Glasgow. And they're gonna be a great time, but here's some exciting news. Dave has been able to make an extra London show happen. It's gonna be at the same venue as the other, only on a little bit earlier. I suppose we can't do them at the same time. And tickets to that are going to go on sale this

Monday, September the 30th at 11 a.m. London time. So yeah, if you want to get tickets to those, obviously get ready to jump on and get on board at 11 a London time on Monday September 30th. Anyhow, this show is live in Sydney that we've just recorded last week and was so much fun and we'll be back after the show to chat with Alan Andy from Two of the Think Tank and to do some Patreon reads. I've already done it and it was a whole heap of fun. Anyway, all of that to look forward to on with patron reads. I've already done it and it was a whole heap of fun anyway. All of that to look forward to. On with the show. Good evening. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Those that are wooing are correct. Can I get a woo one, two. Woo! Correct.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the live interactive 3D Dugo on Experience. Tonight, they'll be talking, walking, and possibly a little bit of parking. All right. Jess is gonna hate this. Ladies and gentlemen, can you please walk the stage all the way from Melbourne, Australia.

It's Dugo on Math Jess and me! Yay! Hello, how you doing Sydney? First of all, I just thought it would be funny if I pointed to one person who gave him a lot of thumbs up and you were really confused. He's recognized me, I don't know him, I do not know him. Thanks so much for coming out. Could you please give it up for my esteemed colleagues Jess and Matt Hi guys. Hello.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Hello. Hello. Maritz is here. Maritz, I remember you. Maritz, I remember you. Maritz, I remember you.

That doesn't mean anything to you. No. But it means something to you. Maritz is my, everybody. Maritz, I remember you. Maritz, I remember you. Thank you. Thank you so much for bringing us something. Thank you. Appreciate that. Appreciate you. It's Marit's mom everybody. Thank you. Thank you so much for bringing us something. Thank you.

Appreciate that. Appreciate you. It's going to be a long show. It's just on shaking. Everyone's hands. You're all going to get a go. You get a go. Have a go.

You get a go, they say. Go sharky. Yeah. Trying to be a loafer. Sorry. Do you guys not have Scomo up here? He's yours. He's one of yours.

He's one of yours. He's one. Yeah, you can yours. He's one of your. Yeah, you can have. Where were we in? Oh, we really killed the moob with skirmish. Sorry about that. I don't worry, I'll talk about Bill's short. Oh, yeah.

That'll get him back. No, he's not even in charge anymore. In charge of nothing. What about Hawkeye? Yeah, right. A couple of Hawkeads in. The rest of the show is literally listing male politicians. Just have a go, have a go.

Um, put it on the spot here. Peter Castello. Don't help me. Just say, Peter Castello. Yeah. Peter Sellers, yeah. Okay. It's one of the best.

Maybe, great. Would vote for him. I'm going to sit down now. All right, we'll sit down on the count of three. One, two, three. Three. Thank you. Thank you down on the count of three. One, two, three. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Yeah, you all went a little bit early and sat down about 10 minutes ago, but that's okay. That was rude. That's alright. It's Saturday night. I'm feeling a little bit loose. How are you guys going? The chairs swivel. No, that's dangerous.

Yeah, that is dangerous. It's going to be really... It's probably actually going to be quite annoying to look at for an hour. Because there's no way we're sitting still. I'm going around the world. They've explained what this show is. Well, thank you so much for joining us. Let's just see, on the, don't have to do a can.

So you just give me a round of applause. You've ever heard the show before. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

Other end of the scale. Don't be shy now. We always ask this. And I enjoy finding out who's here. Give me a round of applause if you've never heard the show before. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! I'm leaving now. I'm not going to lose this record. That's good. That was an excited cheer. Yeah, and I was in F now. I'm not going to lose this record. That's good. That was an exciting cheer. Yeah, and that was enthusiasm for trying something new. I like that.

So you're being pointed to as someone who has another show. Yeah, you're being pointed to by your piece of shit friend. You are hating it hardcore. And you're in the front row. People at the back would pay good money for that seat. Well, not that good of money, because there's one there that no one is typing. I will be oxygening it to the highest bidder.

We have the friend who's not here. You're friend. Went for ramen. I'd probably choose ramen. Ramen, too. That was the sound of 200 people feeling regret. What? Was ramen an option? What? You can get ramen? Yeah, well,

I get it, but we are all here now and we've locked the doors. Yeah, it did sound like. Well, for those who haven't heard the show before, for example you, I will keep referring to you throughout the show. Basically, what the show is, one of us takes it in turns each week to report on a topic often suggested by a listener. The other two people don't know what it's going to be. And tonight it is our beautiful friend, Matt Stewart's return. Stop it.

Two. We love this guy. Thank you so much for calling me beautiful. I've been hanging out for years to years. Yeah, right. That's the best. Doing everything right, physically. Yeah.

But now that you've heard it, are you done with the pot? Yeah, I don't even know what, what do I bother with this for anymore? Yeah. So thanks for having me. For the journey, I got what I wanted. Validation. I don't even have the guts to commit to it a little bit. The walkoff part.

Too hard with the mics. That's why we need headset, Madonna mics. Yeah. And I can dramatically storm off anytime. The literal dream. It is a longest report potentially. So we should maybe get started. OK, great, great, great.

So to get on to topic, we always ask a question which I believe Matt will ask Jess and I and then when we can't get it We'll probably throw it to you guys You don't know that we can't okay. I don't think you'll get this one. Oh You don't know that's find out after yeah Our reckon you've got absolutely no chance. Let's see love a challenge The question tonight is which 19th century sex cult evolved? Ah! I got it!

I've got this! Seriously, I could stop you right there. Well, you have. I want to hear what have you got so far. Yeah, what have you got? Smart man. I've gone to Germany. you got so far? Yeah, what do you got? Smart man? I've gone to Germany, I'm so sorry. Sorry.

Bavarian beaver fuckers? First thing, the kind of way, first thing. That is a thing? Yes, I knew. I know that's a thing. That's what it's about. It's not the Bavarian beef of fuckers. No. Full question. Pagest, Dave, you've buzzed out already.

Which 19th century sex cult evolved into a dinnware company? LAUGHTER Think... I mean, I've been to several dinneparties where people have been wearing beevats. Several. Can you think of a dinnerware company? Yeah, Peter Jackson.

Do you get that ad here? That's suits. That's suits. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that the dinner's eye-catching. You wear a suit. I wear a suit. That's a bad sign. Is that half of you?

I mean, that's a generous, it's generous to say I have that half of you. Oh man, no, I don't know the answer to this. Okay, well it is the audience now. Does anyone in the audience say? Oh, no. No. Oh, you were saying no. Oh. Great. You took Oh, you were saying no. Oh.

Great. You took everyone's... All right. Okay, the answer is the O'Nida community, aka the perfectionists, aka the Bible communists. When I died, I wear the Bible communists. Bringing any bells? No.

Absolutely none. I was suggested by three people into the hat, including from New York, Jeff Mullin, from Virginia, Will Cardolo, and also from Virginia, Maximum Maximilian Juke. Oh, that's a good name. That's a good porn name, actually. And I'm guessing none of them are in here tonight. Oh, hard not because you literally laughed at his name. Yeah, you wouldn't know it after that.

Well, anyway, let us begin the story. Please. In 1811, John Humphrey Noise was born in Vermont. He's the guy who goes on the sex cult. Awww. Little scissor there. Okay. I wasn't scissor there.

That was just an outright spoiler. Spoiler, little spoiler there. So, Nois was born in Vermont. Dave's favorite. Oh, the best US state, am I right? Vermont. Home of the creamie. Home of the creamy.

Home of other things. Big fan of Vermont. His parents were wealthy, his father worked at various times as a businessman, a teacher, a minister and a congressman. So he had a pretty varied career and that's all I'm going to talk about him. In 1830, noise graduated from Dartmouth College and went on to study law. But after only a year, he lost interest in the law after discovering the work of evangelist, Charles Finney leading him to drop out of law to become a Christian minister instead. First and rolling at the end of a theological seminary before transferring to Yale University. Hey, yeah, that's pretty. that's the thing I've heard of.

Yeah, so that's a good start. Yeah. The new religious trend back then, so we're talking like, you know, the early to mid-1800s, the new religious trend of that time that had caught his attention. What's the current religious trend? Yeah, what's trending in religion? Matt's our religious reporter on our cool breakfast show. Hey, Matt, what's Trending in Religion this week?

That's a tough one. I'm bit out of the loop there, I'm afraid. You're bad at your job on this breakfast show. Oh man, I wasn't expecting that question. He wasn't expecting a question about religion. Oh he's religious segment. That's funny, that is classicness. My mind to confiscate your beer mate. It's a bit much for the little fella.

For those listening at home he's just going to be on the neck of his stubby. I'm very proud of you. Good job. He does have a... He does have a... But what you don't know is that that's not beer, that's gin. I love that joke when people drink water. They're like, that's not water, that's vodka.

Yeah. Well, that's not beer. Anyway. Fuck. One more that's not beer. Anyway. But one more and I'm taking it away. All right? You are not my dad. LAUGHTER The revelations have begun early.

Oh, revelations, religious man, all right. Bring it in. Oh, man. The new religious trend that had caught his attention, noise's attention was called millenarianism. Everyone, you would all be familiar with this one. According to an article on timeline.com by Megan Day, which I'll refer to a little bit,

the Malaric... the milleniarism movement was dynamic and extravagant, and their revivals were ecstatic affairs. A preacher's voice would tremble with emotion, waxing and waning rhythmically as onlookers wept, convulsed or collapsed. Cronger grints, oh dear. How long were to go? Probably shouldn't have started drinking the salvo, but... This age Jess is gonna have to take over both our roles. Cronger grints were overcome by what one preacher called waves of liquid love.

Though people weren't literally having sex during the sermons, revivals did blur religious and sexual experience lines and santaliness with sin. sexual experience lines and santaliness with sin. Just quoting an article. Noise bloody loved it. He was like, oh, fuck the law. Let's get into this sexy religion. By all accounts, he was a real horny young fellow. Are you quieting an article?

Most articles I read said something like, the man was a hornbag. Something to that effect. Yeah. But he was studying to be a minister and he had to stay celibate and he struggled with that. This is from his diary at the time. I cannot, and it's like old-timey language, but anyway, I think you get what he's saying.

I cannot send abroad my thoughts in any direction without crossing the track of some polluted image. Going on to say, a thousand needless suggestions of impurity occurred daily to blast my endeavours after holiness. I can't stop thinking about boobs. Yeah, boobs. I think it's boobs. Yeah. Translation. I need a root. I need a root. Luckily for him. Guys, what can I say? I speak old time. I think root is root. I think root isn't even a, like in America root means support. I love culture, I love culture, isn't that beautiful?

You go over there and say I'm rooting for your team. That means a very different thing. I'm over there, it means you're supporting your team. I've done, I've gotta make a phone call. I've done a real bad thing. That Madison Square Garden. Luckily for him, he found a train of Christian thought called perfectionism.

According to today, the doctrine of perfectionism maintained that no outward act was sinful if one's heart and love for Christ were pure. Oh, I love that look. That's a sick loophole. Sorry to leave you. I love that look. That's a sick look all. I love that look all. I love that too. It's not a sin.

I was thinking really nice shit, so. I was rooting for Jesus. LAUGHTER And not, yeah, I mean, that in the American sense, for the Bible belt listeners tonight. OK. This idea enabled noise to believe that once converted, And yeah, I mean that in the American sense, for the Bible belt listeners tonight. Okay. This idea enabled noise to believe that once converted, you would be permanently free of sin.

After declaring this publicly, he was booted out of the seminary at Yale. Apparently the head honchos there were pretty firm on the idea of sin being a real thing. Yeah, that wouldn't budge. After his expulsion, he was asked if he'd keep preaching and he replied, I've taken away their license to sin and they keep on sinning. So although they've taken away my license to preach, I shall keep on preaching. He's a sassy bitch. That's why I relate to him. That's why I relate to him.

Do you also have a license to preach? Oh, yeah, I got a license to beach He's close to a thing there another one of noise's Controversial beliefs was that the second coming of Jesus had already occurred. He had a very different definition. He believed that it had happened not long after the first coming of Jesus within one generation. Well, he really backed it up there. Wow, that's hard to do. Somehow, somehow this belief that the second coming it already occurred, let him to believe that it was time to start ushering in heaven on earth. Or something like that, I often follow his logical at the time, but something like that, right?

He seemingly loved to take logical leaps like that, for instance, he made the assumption that the angels in heaven were having sex. I don't know what he based that on, but he believed that. And so if they were having sex then that was heavenly behaviour and it was unlikely that they would be having monogamous relationships in heaven, angels. And if that were the case surely humans on earth should also be burning whoever as well. That's the heavenly thing to do.

This is all making sense so far. He started publishing a journal called The Perfectionist, helping him stay in contact with other horny Christians as he wrote advocating non-monogamy. He's getting letters like, I'm really lucky, where are you going with this? So I can be Christian and I like it. He wrote, all experienced testifiers

that sexual love is not naturally restricted to pairs. You can fuck bananas. Apples. Speak for yourself. Praise be to Jesus, I guess. Suggesting that marriage not only leads to adultery, but as day rides in her article, noise got married anyway. To a woman named Harriet Holtan, and in 1838, the pair and a handful of converts

said about building an intentional community, whatever the fuck that means, in Putney, Vermont. Creamy country. Yeah. Oh, I finally figured out where they got the name Creamy from. Got it, I love to try one. I think you just need to try one. I think you just need to stop talking. Everything's sounding creepy now. I pronounce creamy.

Noises crew called themselves the Bible Communists and they worked with his controversial ideas about sex, basically meaning that everyone was able to bone everyone else. Noise encouraged what they called a complex marriage system, meaning that there was, so was that like in brackets or? I'll let it that pause out and post. So you'll sound like a weirdo. So you got him. So no, fair enough. So, no.

Fair enough. No one has encouraged what they called a complex marriage system, meaning that there was an open and equal sexual union between all men and women. Or as Britannica describes it, every woman was the wife of every man, and every man was the husband of every woman. When Britannica gets involved, you know it's legit. Britannica goes on to say that noise believed that the extended family system devised by him could dissolve selfishness and demonstrate the practicality of perfectionism on earth.

Okay. He was a bit bloopy. Okay. He was a bit bloopy. Okay. Ellen Wailand Smith is a college professor and descendant of the noise family. I think her, uh, uh, noise assisters. Oh, her great, great, great, grandmother. Well, the way it all works, who knows which was which but Anyway, Ellen Wayland There's anyone else can't get it effected in any sense so much like Wayland. Yes. Yeah, so similar

Sorry land. Yeah, Ellen Wayland Smith. So colleagues professor. She recently researched the commune and wrote a book about it called Anita or whatever that word is pronounced, which is also the title of this episode, from free love to the well set table. So that's about the journey of sex to dinners. According to her, noise believed that the more you had sex and the more evenly the sexual energy was spread throughout the whole body, the less sick you would be.

Now we've all got sexual energy that was spreading around the body when we're boning people. Sure. Yeah, that stops you getting sick. You get sick of what? I don't know, I'm not drawing any conclusions, I'm just giving you the raw data. Let the listener note that he pointed at Jess, not me. Thank you Dave, thank you. I've never been sick.

Wailand Smith goes on to say that he believed death would disappear once he would attain perfect equilibrium of divine energy through all bodies in the community or according to Judy Burnham writing for gorker.com Sex was literally electric to noise it fueled a sort of heavenly battery with the power to support eternal life Okay, what about food? You don't need anymore. I reckon you probably do Especially if all you're doing is boning Can't get hungry I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. We always sort of eat dinner much because it's a softwares was so small, but it's because it's libido so big. Wailand Smith also suggests that noise as wild sex theories were born out of his own sexual frustration, saying, his first idea about spiritual wives came when the woman he was in love with married someone else. It's like that's a convenient twist in the theology. He thought I should be honest with your wife

That's pretty much what it sounds like he did yeah, and the communal thing came on the heels of that when he realized He was never gonna possess her exclusively So he who he would possess her in tandem with other men You don't turn your regret face away from them Well, I'm not I'm not regretting Iting, I mean, I'm just reporting the facts. So, oh, I'm really doing this with my back to you guys. Let me swive to you for a bit. Is this okay?

Yeah, totally. I can read along with you. It's fun. Initially, the pipe, sorry. Initially the pipe, sorry. I think we should all, we all sweat, no, it's all sweat this way for a little bit. Yeah, we'll rotate. We're like on a bus. You're the driver. Dave's the cool kid on the back of his childhood, it's fucking live! Are agony would be with all that boning? It's true, he's just reporting the facts.

Initially the Bible Communist group was small, but they grew quickly and in 1847 they needed to relocate to a larger property. Part of it was the need to relocate was because the local Vermont community as well. They were not on board with noise's idea about free lovin' and second commons. So they moved from Vermont to, I did write it phonetically Oh, Nida. Can you remember that? Oh, Nida. You're so old. The font is so large.

It's so... I can read it from here. Wireless Mithrosis suggested noise world sex theories were born out of his own sexual frustration. It was only Kappel's own night, dad. It's very cute, you're doing so well, keep going. So they moved from Vermont to on a own night in New York State, which is where they get their own nighter community name from. According today, at first, O'Nyter compound

was rudimentary. The Bible communists lived in old Native American dwellings on the property until they erected their first buildings in 1848. They proceeded to alter traditional social arrangements and relationships, challenging norm after norm until a unique culture had been established. Newborn children, for example, lived with their mothers until the age of one and a half,

and were then relocated to the communal children's house. This arrangement, this is a feminist idea you guys. Matt tell him. Go on, say it. So I'm the feminist here. So lean in ladies and listen to what O'Neill and Saw as the tendency of adults to favour their own biological offspring. Yeah. Almost like the tea responsibility for their own children. Yeah, I don't give a shit about other people's kids. Just your own?

Yeah. We got a talk. All right. Children they argued were not private property, but individual committee. Says community. Community. Community. Community.

Do you have a pronunciation for that written at the top of the... Just scroll right to the top for that one. Call me Niddy. But individual community members, brothers and sisters in Christ, life in the children's house was by all accounts pleasant. Oh, that's nice. Oh, are we going over here now? How are we doing?

Let's do it. I realize I'm doing a lot of reading, not a lot of looking up. So you're feeling, you know, wanted and needed. Because if you don't, join my commune. The community's population grew to a max of 300 members, and while noise was its leader, it also had a very bureaucratic system with 27 standing committees and 48 administrative sections according to writer Frank McCovick. According to Wailand Smith, there was a pecking order at Onida in terms of who was more spiritual or who was more of a leader, but they were absolutely materially equal. Everybody wore the same clothes, everyone ate the

same food, nobody owned anything. Members of the commune all had to pitch in with the running of the place from financial management down to unskilled labour depending on their abilities. According to Berman, tasks at O'Nighter were never split among among long gender lines. Workdays for all residents were light and diverse, ranging from farmlaib at a white collar work like medicine and journalism. Medicine. That's why I was pointing at me.

Doctor Perkins. As the community grew, they also employed outsiders by 1870 employing around 200 extra workers, making them one of the largest employers in the area. New couples to the community were allowed to remain primary partners, but these marriages had to become open. This often led to jealousy from one of the partners, and when this occurred, noise would personally

mediate the disputes. For instance, if the male was a jealous partner, according today, he would say to him, I do not wish you to forget her, nor to love her less, but cannot you love her without claiming her? He referred to such possessiveness as sticky love. Yeah, it got to be one of the grossest terms I've ever heard. And he would put members in time out when their sticky love threatened group harmony. And when there's a people, not their junk, right?

Yeah. Okay, great. They suggest that they were positives and negatives from the system saying, on the plus side, women were more liberated at Inaudah than almost anywhere else in America at that time. They were partners in community decision making and the community child rearing arrangement

relieved them of their non-stop domestic burdens. So many had time to pursue personal creative endeavors. Apparently at the time, the women in the broader American society would just have an average of seven kids and their life would just be having a kid waiting having another kid back to back to back. So that's the average. So a lot of families were way bigger and that was their whole life until basically they were older than they died. So in some ways this was a better place to live for women. The commune certainly sounds

so good. It really does. Noise had the men of the group practice a thing called sexual continents, which basically meant the... Oh, I can't get right now. Did he say what? Are you not used to laughter? Not your stand-up dish? Is that what you think laughter sounds like? Yes.

Yeah, that's what it's like. Sexual continents. Sexual continents, which basically meant that while they were encouraged to have lots of sex, they weren't allowed to come. I wasn't sure what word to call. What's your favourite word for come? My favourite word is sexual incontinence. Okay. Oh, that's good. That's clever. I think my favourite is probably splooch. Number two would be Sprog. Sprog? But because I know this is an international podcast, I went with KUM. Because that breaks down, that breaks down barriers. KUM breaks down barriers.

It's spruc. Sprog feels Australian. Mmm. If you touch it, thank you again. Do not touch it. So they practice sexual condonence. I'll have a lot of sex, but no, coming. No, no, no.

This was in part to reduce the amount of pregnancies in the commune, meaning that both partners could burn it up without consequences. Whalon Smith writes that a great, great, great, great uncle compared not coming to rowing a boat in a stream above a waterfall, saying, here, he argued that, he argued, I'm so keen to hear this argument. He argued that through experience and training, the skillful boatman could learn the wisdom of confining his excursions to the region of easy rowing. Unless he has an object in view that is worth the cost of going over the falls.

The falls in this case, being coming. He sounds like a real virgin. Apparently he was a pretty geeky guy, but like a lot of cult leaders, just super charismatic, apparently. There's some people, there's not a lot of records from the times it's long time ago, but someone who was around when she was very young

spoke about him in like the 1940s or something on record saying, it's hard to explain, but when he spoke, he just wanted to do what he said. He was just so charismatic. But then you see photos of him, and he looks a bit like Dave, so. So, he's got it together, yeah. I have often thought about becoming a cult leader.

Really? Between? Between 1848 and 1868, hundreds of men practiced male continents at Anada, and only 12 unplanned birds resulted, meaning that it had a pretty high success rate as a form of birth control, the continents thing. That's mostly because most of them are thinking about rowing whilst having sex, and it is not sexy at all. Rowing's not sexy. You haven't seen me do it.

Pro-creating wasn't banned. You'd be interested to find. But it wasn't up to the individuals to choose who they would have kids with. The community practiced something called stirp culture, which made partners were matched together based on who's supposed moral strengths and flaws complemented each other. Supposedly ensuring perfect moral children were produced. The bodies, the hot ones. Morally hot. Sure. Yeah.

Spiritually sexy. Is the idea that you're in alcoholic, you don't drink at all, your children will be half an alcoholic. So there's more moral than that, but yeah, more like, I don't have morals, but you know, if you could think of a moral thing then that and, yeah, etc. The use of stirrup culture came about when noise was shocked to find that despite all the

boning and spreading of sexual energy, people in the commune were still dying. No, he thought it was going to make them super healthy. Super healthy in a moon to death. Never sick. It did not happen that way. Old people kept dying and he's like, what the fuck was going on here? We're doing all the burning stuff.

We're doing all the rules that are made up. I don't understand. What else are you going to do? According to Wail and Smith, Sturpp culture was part two of his immortality plan. Fuck. He was like, okay, it's not working the way we are. So we're going to, we're going to breed people to be immortal. So that's what the Sturpcodge was. So moral, so full of the right energies that

they'll never die, right? Day rights that in the area of procreation, the community had the final say. Matches were decided upon by committee, the mating premises, right? Employing a process called mutual criticism in which the group would exhaustively discuss an individual's faults and virtues while he or she was compelled to passively listen. Oh, that is hell! Talk about me behind my back, please! You're on Jess, this is heaven on earth. That is hell. Talk about me behind my back, please. You're on Jess, this is heaven on earth.

Yeah. Here are the 50 faults that are wrong with you. Now go and fuck that guy. I saw a watch run YouTube video that compared it to George Costanza's dad's Airing of of grievances at Festivus, which is fun for those who get it. The criticism sessions weren't restricted to matching mating partners though. Britannica describes these sessions as the central feature of the community, saying that

they were attended by the entire community at first and later, as the community grew, were conducted before committees presided over by noise. For those subjected to criticism, it was a nerve-wracking ordeal, yet the sessions probably had some therapeutic value as a means of releasing feelings of guilt and aggression. The criticism sessions were also a shaming technique that enforced social control and're a highly successful device for promoting community cohesion. So what you're saying is bring them back into high schools. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, back to noise bonkers sex theories and the reasoning behind sexual continents, according to writer Ira Mandelica, noise believed ejaculating

drain men's vitality and lead to disease. So you know how I said they couldn't, they couldn't not, well, boning. You did say that, yes. I will never forget it. And I forget most of this podcast as soon as we turn off the microphones,

but this will be burned into my brain forever. So he says ejaculating is bad, full stop. Yes. Don't do it during sex, but also just don't do it ever. Okay. No private sessions. What do you mean? You've never gone solo.

Never had to. Don't hide your regret face from that side of the room. You've never gone solo. Never had to. Don't hide your regret face from that side of the room. There we go. Yeah, you all saw that shame in his face. Going, I hate myself. Like so much. Yeah.

As a result of the practice of sexual content and so, it also led to increased sexual satisfaction by the women of our need. I guess because they couldn't ejaculate, they couldn't prematurely ejaculate, you know? So, I'm sure. Hey, man.

Hey, man. Oh, there's a phrase you probably haven't come across before. I can't, you can't put it together. I'm late, late night premature ejaculation that that format, which is, hey guys, have you ever thought about not ejaculating at all? Probably. Probably. Oh yeah, you want me to go on?

But while there were some positives, they also warns that there were plenty of messed up stuff as well It's funny that writing it to this point. I didn't think of any of the other stuff was messed up, but Now I'm sorry to bring down the tone for you For instance, she writes that noise encourages this spiritually and unenlightened to take sexual lessons from their spiritual elders who were almost always their actual elders as a result cross generational sex was common at own Ida. This is how I've hated that. What's wrong with old people? I think it was more the young people part. Oh, oh, is it super young? Oh

You were right You were right. I just thought you hated old people. That's a good that's fair enough Yeah, old people can bone other old people sure Leads the kids alone That's my heart take Now we got that on film all right pink Floyd On this Wail and Smith said it's a delay there. That was good. I got your pink Floyd Oh, hang on just got it myself

On this Wail and Smith said the thing that bothers me is that the people who were initially signed on to this thing were Consenting adults then what happened once the new generation came up, they were born into it. They didn't know anything else. So it was like, yeah, that is. That did. Noise was a believer in capitalism. This is a new topic. And according to day, it wasn't these whole thing communism. Yeah, I know. Yeah. So they called themselves communists.

The spirit of capitalism, this is quote from day, they call themselves communists. The spirit of capitalism had been alive and well though at own order since the beginning. Noise himself declared that money making is the soul of the world. Okay. Classic Christians, sir.

Like it or not. And that in order to subdue the world to Christ, we must carry religion into money making. Okay. They made money from a range of things over the years. Early on, it was logging and farming. But when a new member arrived with the design for a new steel hunting trap, the community started the manufacturing and sale of anitertraps, which according to Britannica, were considered the best in the land. What a weird place for you to pause. Surely I'll have a joke about this.

I just thought you would have been super impressed. And it was, yeah. A sex cult made the best hunting traps in the land. Yeah. I'm super impressed. Do go on. So, and this sort of kicked off a real golden age for their manufacturing. Over the years, they also manufactured and sold other things, including hats, canned fruit and leather bags. But in 1877 they would start working on a product that would be associated with their name for many years to come. Silverware. This came at a time when the community was starting to... Do you understand now what he meant by dinnerware?

Look, uh... Are you still thinking, paying the taxes? I'm in there. I'm going to complain here. How we got that so wrong. Yeah. I'm going to complain here. I really thought you were talking about something that you would wear. Too a fancy fancy dinner.

It was only that exact moment when I realized I was wrong. And only that exact moment when I realized, I was wrong. And only that exact moment when I realized that you were wrong. Did you know where? Did you know where? Was anyone else with me? What is wrong with you? I'm a charismatic cult leader.

Yeah, you're right, we're the problem. So they started making this silverware in 1877, at the same time the community was starting to fall apart. You know, it's stuff you can put on to go to dinner. Yeah, silverware, the same thing. It's just silver that you're wearing. Yeah. Peter Jackson. I mean, I just thought you'd lost your mind.

When you said Peter Jackson like you thought, oh, what's a jingle? Now I knew where he went and I wanted to just hold on. Well done. Thank you. Well done. Yeah, I'm feeling really done right about now. Yeah, you're right. How does it feel to be even quicker than me and Dave? Normal. Yeah. That's very good. Hang on a second. Generally speaking, it sounds like the children of the stirrup cultural unions, and I think

they even called them stirrup cults, the kids. Weird, but anyway. That is weird. So the stirrup cult kids grew up to be less into the whole cult lifestyle than their parents, classic, rebelling. Yeah. You know when your parents are in a sex cult, and you're like, not for me, mom and dad. No, thank you.

Yeah, it's a Talos Auto's time. This resulted in diminished authority for the spiritual elders and had flow and effects that threatened the fabric of the community. Noise tried to pass on his leadership to one of his sons, theodore noise, but this led... It's a little bit funny. Noise is just so good as a surname noise. Bring the noise. Fuck yeah. I'd say that at the end of every email. Bring the noise regards just noise.

So he tried to pass on the leadership to Theodore, but this led to further unrest as other members also wrestled for the leadership. Ultimately, passing on the leadership to Theodore was unsuccessful partly because he didn't believe in Jesus. Harder lead a Christian cult when you're not really on board Christianity. That's like a challenging yeah. As the original members were getting old and dying, the remaining members debated about how things should be in the community.

A lot of the rebellious younger members went into the sex cult lifestyle and went keen to get into traditional marriages instead. Around this time, the commune started getting some bad press. Throughout the preceding decades, the community's contact with the outside world was generally positive. But now a negative campaign against the community was being run by Professor John Mears

from Hamilton College. And Mears organized a protest against the Onions, fuck, that was attended by 47 clergymen. Oh, that's a lot of them. That's an annoying number. Could two of them have stayed home? 45 would have been OK. 45's OK.

But they have 49, a beautiful number, 7's. It's 47. That's what I'm saying, two more. Oh, I see what you mean. Grow up, Jess, honestly. Sorry. Keep up or get out of the car. Doot, doot.

That classic phrase. Keep up or get out of the car. I've got keep up or get out of the car. T-shirts being made. I think that's going to catch on. Yeah, great. A man named Miron Kinzli tipped noise off that he would soon be arrested on moral charges relating to the commune's polyamory. So in the middle of the night, named Miron Kinzli, tip noise off that he would soon be arrested on moral charges relating to the commune's polyamory.

So in the middle of the night, noise ran away to avoid arrests, ending up in Ontario, Canada. Like a cool tough guy would. Not tough, but certainly a guy who doesn't really believe in, he doesn't have faith that things are going to be okay because he's doing the right thing, right? I don't know. My baby's cynical there, so I don't know. From there, he wrote home to his followers, suggesting that they bail on the whole complex marriage idea, which they did. Though it does sound like the younger members were already sort of bailing on it anyway.

This was in 1879, and by 1880, more than 70 members had entered traditional marriages. So they were keen to do it old school. What position is that? Old school. I don't know. What's more bland than missionary? Not doing it at all. Thought you'd have the answer. I can't wait to go backstage and apologize if you sleep for that.

I'm so sorry you're a virgin, Jeff. I don't even have to do it back then. I'm pretty sure you started that earlier. I'd have to get out of the tape. I don't think I did. Not all the members were happy with the change though. On the final day of complex marriage, where you were still allowed to bone anyone, one of the more popular members of the community, Terza Miller, who Wailand Smith describes as the most sexually sought after woman in the community,

said goodbye to the old system by boning three different men. Yeah! Literally went out of the bang. Dayrides... No, sorry, went out with bangs. Thanks. It's got a haircut too. Dayrides by 1880, the community had established a commission to decide if the experiment would

continue. We now have no government worthy of the name reflected one older community member. The council is a failure. The young people just do as they like. That could be, that feels like an old person in every generation there. Yeah, they're not long having sex all the time. What a fun flipperoo. Yeah, they're not long having sex all the time. What a fun flip of a roof. Come on, kids, it's bone, everybody!

Let's go out and practice on safe sex. No, thank you. Do not come. Do not dare come in my house. Bone as much as you like, but you dare not come. Or splooge. I know how you kids talk. Nois never returned to the United States to face any charges, but he remained influential

over many of the other members via letters. One example of this is when a younger member wrote to him asking for advice as two different members had asked her to marry them. He wrote her back suggesting that she married neither. Instead suggesting she married Mauren Kinzli, the man who tipped him off about the impending charges. A man who was decades older than her, she took the advice and married Old Man Kinsley. So he had this weird power even by a penpalmanship. Nois also went about trying to set up a similar commune in Canada, even attempting to enlist some royal help in his quest. This is from Wail and Smith again. He literally thought, okay, I've been booted out of New York. I'm

going to start trying to do the same thing in Canada. And I'm going to try to enlist the Queen of England to join my campaign to start God's Heaven on Earth. It was so delusional, this is blood relative talking, it was so delusional, but he writes about it in a very calmly and matter of fact way in his diary. So anyway, so I'm contacting the queen. I reckon she'll be on board with his bone laughs though. And she was! Right? She didn't reply. Seven years after flaying the commune in 1886, noise died in his mid-sevenings. Also obviously not curing his word that means you can't die. Can die. What's that?

Mortality. Thank you. Something you so, so crave. Please, let me die. Been walking this earth for centuries. After it to them, I'm old, because I'm six and a half years older. So they, yeah. He hots on to that's the half. It's 70 years. After is to them I'm old because I'm six and a half years older so they yeah

He holds on to that's the half it's seventy that's probably six and three quarters What cuz you don't know everyone else knows Remember yeah, did you forget that? No That's that's you projecting mate After his death, one of his stupcult children, who he called pirapont, or pier. Yeah, Pond. P-Pond. I really prefer P-Pond. So P-Pond noise moved the group even further towards industry. The community had been dissolved, but some true believers stuck together and lived in the Onida Mansion house. They started a new factory at Niagara Gorge under the name Onida Company Limited, making

dinnerware. A pretty big... So suits. So what a lady's making dinnerware. A pretty big, so suits. What a ladies wear to dinner. Ladies suits? Good point. Yeah. Ladies can wear suits too, Jess, please.

Yes, but they must be ladies suits. I cannot stress it. What are you talking about? Oh, yeah. Yeah, so it's a fair departure. They've gone from a commune to a NIDA company limited. Dayrides, Peripont and the other P.A.Pont and the other Dürapkoltz were energetic and determined.

Their aging parents were depressed though. His mother Harriet wrote in her journal, the new years began and we now bid a due to communism. And we enter an item company limited with all its terrors. I have no pleasure in the contemplated change. She was shattered. It's like hippies. It's kind of like, yeah, hippies. And then their kids being yuppies or something. Both of those are such old terms from before my time, but hopefully that helps you guys understand what I'm talking about. Thank you.

Crystal Clear. As the company grew, they made sure they looked after all the workers, making sure they all had a living wage. So some of the communal stuff still lived on. And at the end of the year, they split the profits in half. One being kept by the company. The other half being split equally amongst all the workers. So it's a pretty sweet setup for a business back then for the workers. According to Berman, Peripont B noise transformed the more

modest manufacturing operation that had once sustained the community into a prosperous high-end silverware empire that marketed its products to precisely the sorts of bourgeois households its founders would have disdained. So just in one generation, yeah. The company continued to thrive into the 20th century, but knowing that their sex cult origins might hurt their classy silverware image. What is fork-a-mead-bae a sex cultist? I feel real not eating these old herbs.

They're right. In 1947, the descendants of Anada gathered every Dari, every letter, and every document they could get their hands on that told the story of their family's sexual, license, eonschnists, and experimentalism and burn them. Obviously some writings of other or I guess I wouldn't have been able to tell you all this bloody story tonight. The company is still thriving today and does mention John Humphrey noise and their origins in the Onida community though it doesn't mention any of the sex stuff on the website. Huh. Are they allowed to come now?

Yes. Thank God. Yes, yes. Good question. Good question. Thank you so much. So they dissolved it in 1980. So for a long time, that commune has been done.

That pretty much brings me to the end of the report. If anyone is interested in whether the company is now, this is how it's anyone. He left a long pause there and none of you took the opportunity. interested in where their company is now. Oh, is anyone? He left a long pause there and none of you took the opportunity. It's scary, I feel hot up here. I can only imagine it would be warm out there, and that's the only reason they've lost interest. Yes, they are. Certainly under the same hot lights that we are.

So this is from their Wikipedia page. It says, a knighter is currently, a knighter is one of the world's largest designers and sellers of stainless steel and silver plated cutlery and tableware for the consumer and food service industries. So when do they start with the suits? Markly. We're all wondering. It is also the largest supply of dinnerware to the food service industry in North America. So they're huge. The company operates in the United States, Canada, Latin America, Europe, and Asia, marketing and distributing tabletop products, which include flatware, dinnerware, crystal stemware, glassware, kitchen tools, gadgets, and dildos. That last one was a fake app, but I needed to finish on a laugh, so thank you so much.

That's you everybody. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Oh great work mate. We've all had a lot tonight, mostly for me, what dinner were me. I could have taken a backstage briefing, to be honest. Feeling a little foolish. But a great report. Oh thanks, Dave.

Yes, how are you feeling? I'm good, thanks. Oh, dizzy now. Yeah, you were a bit... First of all, I want to say thank you so much for coming out. On this beautiful Saturday night to join us here at the Giant of Off Theatre, we appreciate you... Give yourself a round of applause. Yes, thank you.

Thank you. Yeah, I guess we should finish the episode for the... You stuff around the floor. Yes, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I guess we should finish the episode for the our friends who are listening at home before we can tell the people in the room how it really is Oh, so we're do off the we'll do a fake ending now Yeah, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much to John do off theater. Have you started to be around a plus for them? And thank you so much for coming out tonight for joining us here at Sydney. It's been an absolute good being back here. But until next week, we'll say thank you for joining us and goodbye! Hiders, cheers! Gee, they are clapping like that's a fake ending. Yeah.

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We haven't already recorded this section and realize that we didn't record it. We didn't recollectively all failed to equally record this episode. I mean we're both here, I've got my phone, I could have been recording it on my phone. Sitting here, here I am expecting you, Matt, to be the one recording. I pushed the record, but I thought, what more could you need to do than push record to make something record?

It was always that bit where you got to look to see if it starts. I did that, I did that about 20 minutes later. Yeah. So, you know, be more specific. But in that gap, there was some riffing that we're going to try and awkwardly recreate, because it was so good the first time I've ever heard. It was so good. Well, we went through, I mean, we talked, yeah, some of my favourite parts,

which we don't have time to go through more, but I asked you what your words for giz, were, and Beckhamal sauce, Besshamel sauce. Besshamel sauce, yes. Besshamel sauce is a real world for me. Relaxing's of Besshamamel sauce. Yes. Beseramel sauce is a real world for me. Relaxing, the Beseramel sauce. That was real good. Alice, there, what was your, I quite like gack.

Gack, yeah, gack. Yeah, I'm sticking with splooge. Yeah, sure. I mean, as are we all. It was a pretty frantic time. We're all pretty stuck with splooge. Especially if it makes gets in contact with water and it kind of coagulates.

Yeah, what is that? Mm, yeah. We'd have thought that splurge would be water soluble. And yet it seems to react against water. Yeah, what evolutionary thing is that? Maybe it's just hot water. Oh, shower water. Chow water.

Here's the crazy thing is that if it goes into somebody's body, it doesn't coagulate, which makes you think, maybe you've got to just add some salt or something to the water and then I won't do that or whatever. Okay. Do you think people are filled with salty water? Like a saline solution. Is that? You know, I mean, you're both close to the science that I am.

I think quite genuinely you are correct in that because we evolved from, I'm sorry, but because we evolved from sea creatures, the reproductive system of humans is basically a saline environment, because it is sort of, and we have taken the sort of spawn into open salt water model from back when we were fishes, and we've sort of pulled that inside our bodies and taken a little ocean with us.

Look at that, we got the primordial soup in there. That's right, in the primordial soup can. And then you just come in the can, the can of soup, like you would do any, like you would do in nature. That's what I call, that's what I call spunk. I call it the primordial soup can. Spunk I haven't heard in a while. Yeah, it's classic.

Love a bit of spunk. You got it, you got spunk, youie mm-hmm. What about moxie? Yeah, I don't like moxie It's actually quite nice to count sounds a little bit sexy moxie. Yeah, moxie. Yeah, he showed a little bit of moxie there By that I mean come Should have been a come just held up his hand So this brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show. For the second time recently, this time for the benefit of the recording, it is the fact to quote a question section, which is where one of our Patreon supporters, who's gone

to Patreon.com slash to go on pod, gets to give us a factor quote or a question. They also get to give themselves a title. This is for the supporters who are on the Sydney Shiantburg Deluxe Rest in Peace level. And this week, it is Mr. Justin McCain. And he's given himself the title of prisoner LZ 427 incarcerated for impersonation of royalty and practicing medicine without a license serving 25 to life. I reckon that's a reference to something. Any, no, maybe it's not. I don't know, I will impersonation of royalty and serving of prison tents and medicine. I mean, there's a lot of elements in there.

Sounds like a sort of a man in the iron mask, but the mask is a surgical mask. Man in the iron surgical mask, that's what we'll call the film made of. Man in the surgical mask, treating someone with an iron deficiency. Yeah, that makes sense. Right, that makes sense. So yeah, you can call yourself anything.

You don't have to give yourself, but like some sort of a jail sentence. That's the first time someone's titled themselves with also a 25 to life. Maybe that's a reference to your episode about the Unibomac, which I listened to recently, very fun episode, where in his, you mentioned it in his high school yearbook

or his high school reunion or something, he quoted his honors as being a prison sentence. That's right. His life sentence, Maybe he's doing a very deep cut. Well, quite a shallow scrape reference to a recent episode. I could be. Well, it's a good episode, Matt. You crushed it. Oh, thanks, mate. Yeah, that one. I brought it. Yeah.

I really, I went deep. I went deep on the uniform. I'm going to follow up episode about that. Maybe there's a patron bonus episode about the, what's it called? What the testing they did, this CIA testing. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, because he was a part of that. Yeah.

It was, which I didn't have time to go into. Some of the psychological experiments that we see, IA, that, that's like M something. I'm blanking on at the moment. Oh, like M Sigma or something like that. Oh no, Sharma. Yeah. I know it because it was also the name of a like a mission.

I can't think of the band's name either, but like Muse. It was a Muse song title as well. MK Ultra. Yes, that's it. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Mind control, conspiracy theories. That's the reason that the media is so anti-Trump. Right. Yeah, I think I think

Anyway, so I could be wrong. So Justin McCain's question to us is And this you're hearing this for the first time say you had to break out of a maximum security prison What movie would you emulate to break out? Okay Harvey Crumpet? The stop animation. Stop motion animation. What I do is I break out so slowly and in small increments that they don't realize I'm moving until they play it all back on the CCTV at a much higher rate.

That would be fun. I reckon I'd go viral. Break out like that. You know, and then they see me escaping and they shout stop, but I've been stopped the whole time except for winning between where I was moving a little bit. But not much. Not much.

So much so that you're basically hiding in plain sight there. I love, it's one of my favorite concepts hiding in plain sight. Sure, probably one of my two places favorite places to hide. Really? Where's the other one? Concealment probably. Yeah. They're the big two. Yeah. Or bite a hedge. Yeah. So I'm thinking, I mean, so classic breakout films, I don't know, Harvey Krumput, that's good lateral thinking. Well, he didn't specify that you had to be a jailbreak That's that is true. Well, maybe I okay. Well, I was thinking something like the Shawshank redemption Mm-hmm, right, but in that he did have to swim through like an Olympic swim pool of shit. So I

That bit I don't know why would I choose that. So I'm gonna take the breaking out element from Shawshank's redemption. But then I'm gonna add in a new element, Jim Carrey's Yes Man, where I just have a real positive attitude about it. Someone puts an offer to me, I say yes, and then for whatever reason, yes attracts yes, and I have a real positive life.

I think that's beautiful. Thank you. I mean, the one that I would pick is... Sounds like the real prison there was the life that you'd made for yourself with your negative attitude. Exactly. And you broke out of that, even though you were still technically incarcerated

with all those quite horrible neo-nazis. But the real freedom was in the mind. What's the deal with all the neo-nazis being inside? Wait, thank you. It does seem to be like... You're right. Well, it might be an MK Ultra thing. Right, It does seem to be like, you're right. Well, they might be an MK Ultra thing. Right, they all seem to be in there.

Do you think that they're in a overrepresented minority of white people? Well, yeah, look, I haven't seen the stats, but it does feel in movies. There's always a lot of Nazis. You don't see a lot of Nazis on the outside. Yeah, well, you're not proud. You're not proud. Buff ones with tattoos shine. I guess they probably aren't shirts when they're outside. Yeah, well, you're not proud buff ones with tattoos. I guess they probably aren't shirts when they're outside. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the only difference. Skimpy outfits that they wear in prison. They all get skimpy outfits. They all get skimpy outfits. They all get skimpy outfits. They all get skimpy outfits. They all get skimpy outfits.

They all get skimpy outfits. They all get skimpy outfits. They all get skimpy outfits. They all get skimpy outfits. They all get skimpy outfits. They all get skimpy outfits. They all get skimpy outfits. They all get skimpy outfits.

They all get skimpy outfits. They all get skimpy outfits. They all get skimpy outfits. They all get skimpy outfits. They do skimp it up inside. Skimp it up one time. I don't know why. What film would you go with there, Al? Well, I think mine is kind of, it's pretty, it's probably the one that most people would pick, but I think Anaconda. Oh, yeah. So I think that I would sort of be, I would be in my prison cell and then I would, I guess, be asked to sort of be swallowed whole by an anaconda. Yes. I would ask An guess, be asked to sort of be swallowed whole by it. Yes.

I would ask an Anaconda. Yeah. And then, um, and then I would, they would go, oh, there's, this guy's gone. There's just an Anaconda in here. And obviously they're going to let the Anaconda out. It's committed no crime. Yeah. That's right. It would be illegal.

Yeah. You can't hold me exactly to keep the Anaconda in there. And I guess as they're sort of releasing it into the wild that's when I make my greatest escape through the butthole. So it's quite similar to the the Shawshank redemption. Yes. Yeah, I guess it's just it's a similar pipe but I got a moving pipe. Yeah. He had to travel into the pipe.

Yeah. Whereas the pipe travels me. Ah, that's beautiful. Do it. What is a snake but a moving pipe? Hmm, living pipe. I don't, did I introduce you guys are in the tank? I'll think so. No, we're allister, Tromboli, Bertrand, and Andy Matthews from two in the think tank. Oh, you could do it for me. Sorry. Well, don't know. Hey, thanks so much for inviting us in to do this

little farewell. Thank you so much. Well, for those who want to follow on from this, you'll be recording an episode of Two and the Think Thanks. We're just about to take these hot mics and this warm, comedy energy of this room. And we're going to squeeze out another podcast. We're going to do our 200 and first episode because we just did our 200th episode, which went for 17 hours, which has been recorded and includes Jess Perkins on it And it's really the perfect jumping in point for the podcast I think you know, it's one of those make or break top situation probably and Nick Mason was on it as well

He's been on here a busy Sunday movies. James Clement there People from sans pants radio all the biggs. Yeah, and you can watch it all from a radio, all the bigs. Yeah. And you can watch it all from a live stream. Yeah, live stream on the stupid old channel. I saw Maceo during the week. He was on primates and he told me he's watching it every day and hour at a time.

That's crazy. It's a really healthy way to do it. Yeah. That's right, yourself. But most episodes of Two and the Thing Tank are just one hour. And 198 is a good starting point if you just want a little t-taster. Yeah, we come up with five sketch ideas. Well, this, well, maybe we can work that in as a bit of a warm up before you record an X show with the next

part of our Patreon shout out segment where I think six of our Patreon supporters are normally just would give us a game that's relating to the topic. Maybe you could write a short, give him some sort of a sketch. Not a full, not a well thought out of you. Sure, sure, sure. Not like they normally are on the podcast. No. We want maybe like a title and a very brief synopsis. Yeah, yeah.

Not like you do on the thing, tank, so they're quite good and funny. These can be silly. So we're going to do like six of them. So what normally takes us an hour or a four to do five. You should not like you do on think tanks, but they're quite good and funny. These can be silly. So we're gonna do like six of them. So what normally takes us an hour or for to do five, we'll do six instead of the next couple. We can work, you just work on it quickly and nicely off their location on their name.

Great, great. So firstly, I'd love to thank from North Wollongong in New South Wales Australia, Maddie Selvi. Yeah, well Wollongong, okay, makes me think of Wollandgon. And that makes me think of, of course, the most important person on the sheep shearing team. It's the man with a big gong, who hits the gong whenever they've finished shearing a sheep,

right? And sometimes it's going so fast, they're shearing so fast, he's gonging so hard, you know? Gonging and shearing and shearing and gonging. It's the hardest job of them all. Yeah. And the second hardest job is listening to the gong constantly. Yeah. Which everybody else has to do. Yeah. So you think Maddie could play this role of the gonger? Yeah. She's an absolutely

gonger. All right. It might be a shave and Maddie. I don't know. Yeah. Sure. Do you think the coin of gong? Do you think they're gonging the sheep? Or do you think they're gonging the sheer? Or do you think it's a shared gong? I think everybody gets to bask in the gong? Do you think they're gonging the sheep? Or do you think they're gonging the shearer? Or do you think it's a shared gong? I think everybody gets to bask in the gong. I'd be so confused when watching old episodes of red faces. We were not real, because I'd say the gong, that's a positive. You've achieved something. Correct.

Red faces with red gong, do you? It's quite the opposite. What's his name, red? Anything to do with it being red faces? Or is that just a coincidence? I think it must have, I think there used to be a show called Green Faces and like New Talent and this was a play on that, which was hosted by Red Simons. I guess. I wasn't there for the beginning. No. I mean, I don't know if anyone was. I wish somebody knew. I wish someone knew.

Anyway, what a great sketch idea. It's probably an episode. I mean, let's maybe sketch is giving it to, to putting too much pressure on. Sure, sure. Just an idea. A concept. A concept. A concept. Okay, great. Maddie Selvey, the, the sheep gonger. Thanks so much Maddie for your support. I really do appreciate it. I'd love to thank from Luton or Louton in Essex, Michael Dailey. Oh,wey, like a podcast that comes out Dewey. Wow. And that is a full on podcast idea. Well, there's a podcast that does that. It's called The Dewey.

Well, it's from the New York Times. Really. Well, they, I mean, if you've got a big organization behind you, maybe. Yeah. But I feel like something to get out of an organization that's so big behind you that it'd be daunting and it actually slowed you down.

Right. This is what would be cool thing for daily stuff. I heard his name. It was my cool daily. My cool daily. And this will be an outfit that you buy that is all screens, all flexible computer screens all over your body. And then you just subscribe to a fashion website.

And your fashion changes like on a on a buy second basis depending on what's cool. So really you're just constantly shifting outfits to stay exactly on the side ghost. That's that is sick. That's a great idea. That can't be that far away. No, now that you've put it out there, I reckon that someone's already working on it, listening right now. That's that's mine. Are you giving that that's mine. Are you giving that out to the people? Yeah, they can have that. That's so, you're welcome. Google, you don't even care about your financial wellbeing.

That's a beautiful gesture. Could have sold that for a lot of money. You could have sold that for a hate the money. You need the money. I do. I reckon, I think legally if we say, Andy gets 10% of all profits, then I think that has to happen.

Can that be 10% off the back end? Yeah, off the back end. It wants two points. Two points off the back end. Never really. Do you want anything off the front end? No, I'm not interested. No, no, no, no.

You couldn't give me the front end. No, well, they're not going to try. You sort of asked for a reverse mallet there. Yeah. Two points off the back, nothing off the front. All the sides. All the sides. Send. All the sides. Send in a nice and cut. I like it. It's not going to look good. But that's, I mean,

your new technology will be able to fix that up in a minute by minute. No, it's true. Second by by second. Mm-hmm. By second. Mm-hmm. Every two seconds or twice a second. It's by secondally. It's twice every two seconds. Oh, right. Secondly, it's twice every two seconds. Oh, right. For a second, that means that's fascinating. Thank you so much, Michael Daly. I'd also love to thank from UT. What could that be?

Oh, Utah? Oh, Utah. Give me two. That could be what that is. From Utah, I'd love to thank Alan, but with a Y, Haka, Alan Haka. You know, it's a mixture of both my parents' names. Alan Lynn.

Yeah, Alan and Lynn. Wow. Do you think it could be both your parents somehow? Yeah, in Utah. They're on their honeymoon right now. They just got married. That's cool. And they listen to your podcast exclusively,

and they subscribe. I hope it's a real great sexy honeymoon. Oh, they're having a lot of intercourse. That's what they, and in between intercourse, during intercourse, they like to message me via via other podcasts that there's very slim chats. I'll be appearing through the format of a day. Yeah, I think you're wrong.

I think it's from a place called Pleasant Grove in Utah. Alan, do you reckon A. double L. Y. N. as a man or a woman name? It's a beautiful name. I like it a lot. Yeah, don't know, man. I don't want to live and let live. I'm not putting things right on. So the sketch idea is parents texting you while they're having sex. Is that the idea? Oh, Alan, I reckon Alan will be stoked by this. Yeah.

Yeah. What a beautiful thing to be associated with. Very forward thinking. Yeah. You know why why we're shaming parents having sex? I don't know. I'm not. We at none of us would be without that. We're nearly nearly none of us. It was obviously some robotic stuff and other you know there's I don't know I'm maybe thinking of more in the future. The robots would be doing the kid stuff. But there's other things as the test tubes and whatnot still. But yeah, you know, shame test tubes. So why we shame in?

We shame a test tube. Why we shame in parents for burning. You know what I mean? I call my penis the test tube. If the testicle, because it testicles. Yeah. And then I guess the other bit is the test tube. Tube.

Yeah, that makes sense. Test a tube. Test a tube, the testicles. This episode And then I guess the other bit is the test tube. Tube. Yeah, that makes it. Tested tube. Tested tube. The testicles. This episode was a lot about parents boning and then their kids. So that was the, the, the, how are they making kids? If the guys are going to ejaculate, well, that, so they'll, they'll, they'll may not have sex a lot to spread the Christian energy through their body to it. So they become immortal. Yeah. Um, but they also

did this other thing where they were allowed to, they, some people were allowed to have kids. And when they decided to have kids, then as a group, they would match people up after basically having an airing of the grievances against people. And then they'd match them up based on their sort of moral matches. This is actually sounds alright. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I mean, again, I support everything that happened in that situation. Yeah, yeah. You're a big? Yeah. Yeah. Look, I mean, I think I support everything that happened in that situation. Yeah, yeah. You're a big noise man. Yeah. That was the boss was called John, something John noise. I remember. Let me tell you, it doesn't matter. It doesn't. John Humphrey noise, sorry, I

just I felt like I should need to set up some reason. So, Alan Harker has come up with an invention where he texts or she texts parents while boaning. No, no, no, the parents text you. Oh, the parents text you, giving you updates. Yeah. Have a good time. Or it could just be, you know, why don't you call me more?

Right. In brackets. We're boaning. We're boaning right now. Well, I mean, I think you'll know. Oh, you'll know because it's the kind of text. You have a separate phone. No, I think you'll just know when you get a text.

That's all the arguments you've done. That's because your parents are gone. Well, think about it. What are the two things that parents enjoy? Boning. And telling their kids that they don't call them enough. And why wouldn't you combine those two things to maximize your pleasure?

It's like doing drugs and then making love or as fixi-wanking or something. Things that increase height and so why not? Text your kids how disappointed you are in that while you're making love. As fixi-wanking being combining two things that make people very happy. It's very very dying. It's getting close to dying and sitting down. We don't talk about sex this much on our podcast. No, we don't normally either.

Yes. But I think one of the benefits would be that if you wanted your parents not to text you while they're apponing, then you need to call them more. Can we just release this as our episode of our podcast because we need to record it anyway? Yeah, great. Perfect. We can do a double drop. Double drop.

I'd also love to thank, does not give an address, but Heather McClay. Oh, yeah. You know, there's parrots that eat clay, so that they don't get poisoned by the plants that they eat. Yeah, McCaws, right? They do this in the South American rainforest. There's the McCaws. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. And so this is a woman who actually has eats eats parrots, it's parrots. She eats parrots. Who evapen clay? Who have eaten clay so that she doesn't get poisoned from the immense amount of alcohol that she constantly drinks.

Wow, that's not what I love about that. Well, we know that like sea birds soak up a lot of oil when there's an oil spill. Feels to me like the sea bird could be the perfect thing to line your stomach with when you're about to have a big night. Yeah, and like, so it's gonna be crazy, but I think the feathers are really honey-absorbed. Drink alcohol and eat like sort of a lot of greasy food.

So that way it'll absorb the oil and they'll stop the poison and things like that. Yeah, so you stop it up with a good diet of macaws. Well done, and Heather McClay came up with that. That's her idea. Well done, she also does it. And then she named herself after she was an old woman who swallowed a bed.

Yeah, who's who had swallowed a clay. Yeah, clay. Thank you so much, Heather. Love to thank from Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. Cameron Silk. I don't know. Yes, Cameron. Cameron.

The obvious part of his name there, being the camera. Yeah. Cameron Silker, he's a, he's a, runs comedy rooms in Brisbane. Oh, cool. Yeah. Sounds like he really had to know. Yeah, real good rooms too. Well, hi camera man.

Nice. Anyway, he's unemployed for the next five months and I'm getting really getting back into standup and if you need somebody desperately, I'll just try and be virtual. I'm down here. Do you fly people up? I don't know if I've done I you should talk to him. Yeah, great. I mean, what I was talking to you, you know, you know, you've got you've got a direct line here. Is it wrong for us to use this

opportunity to like beg for work from your Patreon support? Yeah, no, he's I'm he supported us, you know, the least that he could do is now give you work. Additional support. But yeah, no, I'd record the SPC comedy room, he's and sabotage, both real fun. Correct. So yeah, I definitely, and Cameron Silk, I would definitely fly Alistair up.

Oh, great. If I was a really nice, I think I've maybe seen him, maybe we're friends on Facebook. I'm not sure. Just what we're talking about silk. I would love to be out for us to have as an option, the form of transport that those tiny spiders have where they unfurl a long strand of silk from their ainess and then it gets caught by the wind and then they get blown away. Yeah, like, yeah, like just like a silk sale.

Yeah, silk sale. And, you know, as a public transport. Sure. Sure. I'm not public transit. It feels like a as a public transport. Sure. Sure. I'm not public transit. Feels like a quite a private transport. I mean, unless other people can cling to your silk, but I feel like that in this society, that would be really frowned upon. Oh, okay.

You don't like having another man silk. So Nick Mason, for instance, it stops driving trams and steady start shitting silk. And you got a hold on to him. And then he'll float you to your destiny. That could work. I think maybe you could do it with just by sort of like taping a bunch of bubble gum over your anus. Yeah.

And then you sort of fill that up with, with sort of, with gas. And eventually you let that huge bubble kind of carry you with the wind. Imagine if we'd never invented the wheel, where we would be in terms of other forms of transport. I think that the butt bubble, the airborne butt bubble, would be about the wheel like it was this genius thing and where would we be without it? Who knows? It could be. It's a crutch.

Yeah. Well, I think the invention of the wheel is essentially what's led us to this climate trouble that we have right now because it's the use of fossil fuels and things like that. So if we had the butt bubble, that never would have happened. And we would currently be living in the world. Also, we'd be capturing Mithine, keeping it out of the atmosphere. That's right.

Yeah, imagine if instead of inventing the wheel, those people in the olden days invented a solar panel. The butt bubbles, well, yeah. Maybe a solar panel. A solar butt bubble. Yeah, exactly. Cameron, still, hopefully you realize everything we've just said there was in appreciation of you. And this was his idea. That was your idea, the bubble. And well done for coming up with it.

I wish you around there all those centuries ago. How long over the wheel? Three, four hundred years. Yeah. Yeah. And finally, I'd love to thank from King's Port in TN. I reckon I'm gonna say Tennessee. Tennessee. Emily, Pairsdorf. Just to see how Americans think that they can just give people the initials of the place that they live and everyone just work it out.

I'm sorry, that doesn't happen. That's not how we do things over here. Guess what? We all did work it out though. Yeah, you're right. I was saying it because we're real smart. Yeah, that's true. But that's unfair to put that on other people.

We're less smart than us. Sorry, what was her name again? Bayer Wolf. Bayer Wolf? Really? Emily Bayer Wolf. It's my favorite of all the ancient Norse sagas. I got to say.

Is that the only one? Yeah. Yeah. Emily Beisdorf. Beisdorf. Which is a translation of Beisdorf. Uh-huh. That's like a German Beisdorf probably.

Yeah, yeah. Well, who was the original Beisdorf? Uh, that's a spiced old Germanic, I'd like, but they were, um, would have been like what, like, Norway, gender, something like that, or something like that. Yeah, probably like that, or something like that. Yeah, probably.

Sweetish or something, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Danish, maybe Danish. Danish. Danish. That's like, ding, that just makes me feel hungry every time. Mm, the Danish. It isn't crazy that once upon a time, if somebody had shared it,

the Danish are coming, everyone would have run in fear. But now, everybody says, oh, good, I love a little pastry. I love some cold custard. Do you think anything's had a bigger turn around from the terror of the Viking hordes to a sort of a sort of small flat sort of custardy treat? I don't know, maybe outside of the sex cult became a den aware company.

I don't think it's been all around. Come on. Turn around. So yeah, maybe that's what Emily Beistoff's business is. Yeah, maybe that's what. Rolls in a town on a wheel powered car. Yeah. Well, she takes danger, and then she goes to dangerous countries

or once dangerous countries and learns how to change their image through food. In a ride. Okay, so just one other quick example. We've got the dinosaur. So let's say Mongolia. Mongolia's still looking for a pick me up since the fall of that empire.

Yeah. So you go in there and you go, how about this? It's a chocolate sausage. I don't know. An organization called Pastry Chef's Songs Frontier. Yeah. And you go in there and you go, all right, you guys need a brand change.

You know, you guys just kind of seem like you're poor and you're sort of former hoarders. You got hoarders, but like a hoard. And they don't hoard people, but they're people who would hoard. You know, be a hoard. Be a hoard. Part of a hoard.

Be the hoard. Yeah. And then they go, yeah, you need to look and then they just give them a chocolate sausage. And they say, this is you got. We're gonna call this a Mongolian. A Mongol and so and then a bunch of sausages in a plate that's called a Mongolian Horde. That's right.

Yeah. So that's all changed. That's great. Well, Emily based or that's a real worthwhile business that you're running there. Thank you so much for supporting us and all the great work you do. What were they called? Petry dishes, songs frontier. Yeah. and all the great work you do. What was they called? Patreon Dishes, songs frontier. Yeah, sure.

And I think maybe you could keep all the Mongolian horde in a sort of a what would be known as a Genghis Khan. Oh, Genghis Khan. They would come in a Genghis Khan. Which is a jar. Yes, a jar. Which is in the can. What?

Chocolate sausage is going to come. This is big. This is real big. Well, thank you to all of those supporters, Mattie, Michael, Alan, Heather, Cameron, and Emily. And thank you, Andy and Al, for coming in and help me to go through all those great people's names. Thank you for the opportunity.

So you are literally just about to record an episode, one more time for the people who want to hear your other episodes. And that goes back what seven years you've been doing it on or off. Yeah, a long time. 200 episodes. And the long one has a lot of guests, years you've been doing it on or off. Yeah, a long time. A long time. A long time. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long time, yeah. A long any point during this day? Yeah, that's smart. Yeah. So the only way to get it, get both.

I'll put a link to the show in the show notes. Thank you so much everyone for joining us. And now I'm trying to, without Dave and Jess here, I forget how the show ends. I know I say ladies. Jess says, bye and Dave says something else. Who's your big Dave? Yeah, he goes, sayonara.

Okay. Yeah, he's getting canceronara! Okay, he's getting cancer Bye This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network visit planet broadcasting comm for more podcasts from our great mates I mean if you want it's up to you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising.

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