Do Go On - 215 - The Dublin Whiskey Flood and other Irish Tales

Episode Date: December 4, 2019

In 1875 a whiskey flood (and fire) caused havoc on the streets of Dublin, hear all about it as well as a great Irish art theft and one of the most famous and kooky Irish singers of all time on this week's jam packed episode!Matt is performing his new show MONKEY HOUSE is on in HOBART on January 9th and 10th, BRISBANE March 10-15 and MELBOURNE March 26-April 19, find more details/get tickets here: https://mattstewartcomedy.com/gigs (use the code 'podcast' for a special listener discount)Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSubmit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:The Dublin Whiskey Floodhttps://www.irishtimes.com/news/offbeat/the-night-a-river-of-whiskey-ran-through-the-streets-of-dublin-1.2743517https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/dublin-whiskey-firehttps://www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle/features/deadly-drink-fanned-the-flames-of-1875-296142.htmlhttps://comeheretome.com/2014/04/09/the-1875-liberties-whiskey-fire/https://www.independent.ie/life/1875-when-the-streets-of-the-liberties-ran-with-piping-hot-whiskey-35034342.html Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This episode of Do Go On is brought to you by the remaining dates of our UK tour. There are very limited tickets still available for our Birmingham show and for our London matinee show.

So if you are in the area and you want to come and get the tickets, head over to DoGoOnpod.com. And also, this will be your last chance for quite a while because we won't be coming back to the UK next year just to add a layer. of guilt there as well. We've checked the calendar. I know that it is jam packed. We're busy. We've got jam making classes. We've got...

Packing club. Ask packing classes. I need a few lessons. And we're going on a trip where we're going to ride our bicycles. Yeah. Amsterdam. We're going to Amsterdam.

So yeah, definitely come to those shows if you want to because it will be your last chance for a little while. this coming Sunday and Monday. And if you want to go and see the best stand-up comedy that the world has to offer, probably look it up on Google or something. But if you want to come see me do stand-up comedy,

I'm doing a show in London at the Bill Murray on the 7th of December. Yes, that is just a couple of days away. This Saturday, I believe. I think there's five tickets left. Oh, that's nothing. So if you and four of your best friends want to snap up the last ones, please do so. And you can do that at matchiorecom.com slash gigs.

But for now, on to a live episode that we recorded only a few nights ago in Dublin. And let me tell you, it is a ripper. Please enjoy. Please indulge. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Ladies and gentlemen, people of Ireland and or the UK. We do not have time to record two of these.

People of whatever town or city we are in right now. Make some noise if you're ready to podcast. Yeah, assuming you make some noise there, let's proceed to the next section of this definitely live and not scripted introduction. This is designed to build a rapport and find common ground with the audience. So if you're in Ireland, how shit are the English?

If you're in Scotland, How shit are the English And if you're English I'm so sorry We think you're all right And now we're all friends Please welcome to the stage All the way from England

2.0 back in the habit A.k.a Australia It's to go on Bill and tonight Hell yeah that is I've got to be honest a rapturous response Thank you so much I'm welcome I could tell you

We've got to do the show. Welcome to another episode of Duke One. My name is Dave Waterkey, and I'm standing here on stage. We're two of the best in the business. It's Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Thank you so much. Hello. This is very nice.

What a lovely reception. Hey, you? All right. A little bit I was about to do some crowd work. Where are you from? Whereabouts are you from? That's great, cool. Sounds nice.

Do you do you seem to translate there? Calvin Yeah, go early You know what they say about Calvin guys Real big dicks So congrats on that Yeah, real big dickheads Real assholes

Real bad guys Bad people Bad people out there Out in that direction That you were from They are real pieces of work Them Calvinators, we call them I bailed when I was

about to do and then I bailed and then we did it anyway, all right. It doesn't sound like you bail at all. Save him. Save him. Save him. Gnigh. All right. Here to party. All right. Someone was getting your Jamisons, but it has not arrived. Someone was getting you. It's day one of the tour. And look at you going full diva straight away. I'm a diva. I'm a diva. Anyway, we've lost a early.

We heard that. Get them back with some more crowd work. Anyone else from Calvin in tonight? Yeah, I'm the back. All right. Where you belong. What does Calvin mean? That's Kevin, you fucking idiot.

I'm really sorry to everyone from actually from Kelvin. I didn't mean to bespurch your good name. Kevin. Oh God. I'm so sorry I'm staying out of this one Yeah Jess is so diplomatic

Yeah I'm like nah We're outnumbered by a lot So You guys are the best And it sounds like a beautiful To the Paradise You really cheered a lot

For the English Being shit Didn't you? Let's see how that goes down tomorrow No we're in Glasgow tomorrow Oh yeah Let's see how that goes down

on Tuesday. I think it's really nice to hear that they've worked out their differences. All right. Well, we are so stoked to be here to do our first Sturgo-Wan pod for the tour. We've been hanging out in Dublin the last few nights, having a great time. Last night we went out to Temple Bar. Don't know if you've ever heard of that. Getting a bit of culture.

It was real great to get a bit of Irish culture. Yeah. We were like, we got to see some culture. And we did. We went and we saw a guy singing some Irish songs. Oh, we went. Like American Pie. Genuinely, he goes at the start.

He's like, I hope everyone's here for some Irish music, because if you're not, you can fuck off. And we were like, we are here for Irish music. This is exactly what we want. Two songs later, he played American Pie. Yeah, it was confusing. And then he changed the words for dirty old town to dirty old man. in relation to himself.

That was fun. I was like, at least he's aware. The self-awareness was nice. Yeah. That was good. He kept telling off guys in the, I guess, audience for telling him off for invading what he called the ladies-only zone,

but then kept saying, but I'm allowed in the lady's own. No, no ladies should be letting you in their zone. And then I looked up and on the roof there was a sign that just said, no spitting. And I thought, if you have to say it. What's happened?

What's happened that you had to put a sign up? Spitting competitions. We love your culture. Thank you so much. You're in person. Thank you, thank you so so much. Your culture. Dave doesn't really get it.

Jess and I are mainly Irish heritage, whereas Dave is a German. So he doesn't really get all I mean Jess do. We're basically you guys, if you are turning on anyone, Make it be Dave. Get out of that one, Dick Ed. Oh, la.

I love Kevin. Was that right? Nailed it. All right. So this is the first podcast of the tour. We are very, very excited to kick off with our first ever show here in Dublin. Matt's just selling drugs on the side.

If you need anything, just stand to the side of the stage for a bit. Just lurk. Lerk side stage. Matt'll fix you up. Yeah. He's got a trench coat. Tap your nose three times.

And hand for your Jamisons and Jack Daniels glass. Yeah, Jack Daniels. That classic Irish streak. It's confusing. Dave, start the show, I reckon. What I was going to say is, because we're about to do a podcast, give me a round of course.

If you've ever heard our show, do go on before. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. You clapped for a long time. We weren't fishing. It was just a bit of market research really. I pointed at you just because you were like you're sort of sitting

and then clapping with your hands up high but it looked weird that I singled you out so I just started pointing to other people to cover that up. And you! Other end of the scale, don't be shy of course. Give you random applause you've never seen or heard our show before. A few as well. Awesome.

Thank you very much for coming. I appreciate it. Oh, the person from cabin, of course. Of course. A lot of joy about never heard hearing. before over here. And they're like, and I still won't. La la la la. Not listening.

Well, if they're not familiar with the show, what we do here usually is a report on a topic suggested by a listener. And why the hell change things up now? But what we've done is we've all written a mini report on a overarching topic and we have gone for Irish stories. Oh, that actually works out well

because this is in Ireland. Imagine doing that in Glasgow. They'd be like, what the fuck? We'd be like, ah, because we're not very bright. But thanks for coming. Yeah. So I'm going to kick things off with the first report here

on an Irish tale. Okay. And we usually start with a question. And again, we're going to stick with that. And I'm going to ask the question to Jess and Matt, and if they don't know, we can throw it over. Two you lovely people here. Matt looks like he's ready to buzz in.

I did just sewn out a bit but I imagine we're about to start the show Yeah yeah here's the question is Nailed it As a point of national pride In 1956 an Irishman stole a painting From which London gallery The London Metro

Is that a thing? Which one? The Metro No Moana MoMA? Moa? Boba?

No? Shlobshla. Is he close? Is it something like blah blah? It'd be the museum of something, something. It'd be like... Whoa! I think you'll find a nail that.

That was the most coordinated you've ever been and you were dropping something. I did it. It rhymes with mate. Tate! It is the Tate! Well done. Well done.

Victory feels good. Rhymes with mate. I'm going to get this. Spate. Spate. Okay, you just start. The topic today, mate, is the Hugh Lane painting robbery. Suggested by Ellie C.K. from Melbourne.

We've come a long way to avoid it. Comes to every Melbourne show. We refuse to do any of the topics. Round of Horses, have you ever heard of this topic? A smattering. Round of applause if you are, in fact, lying. Why'd you look at him and assume he doesn't know anything about art? He went bullshit.

I believe you. I reckon you know all about it. Thank you. Would you like to do the report? Without looking at this? All right, so this is, yeah, this story of the Hugh Lane painting robbery, which is, as you know, a great, great tale. Let me tell you about Hugh Lane, first of all.

Hugh Lane, Matt, if I can just make sure you're focusing. Did you notice that we lost someone? It's usually about that far in. He's actually, he's a big Hugh Lane fan, and he will not hear you besmirch his good name. Are you about to besmirch him? Absolutely not. A big fan, big fan of the Hugh Mann.

And that is Hugh Lane, born. in County Cork in 1875. A few cork heads in, all right. Let's get corked. Is cork? Which one? Stab City. Is that cork? Limerick, okay. I found that out. I stayed there about 10 years ago and I walked the streets in the middle of the night and then watch the news.

I went, oh, what have I done? Even the news reader called it Stab City. No, this is County Cork in 1875, but he was brought up in Cornwall over in England. Are you from Cornwall? No? Yeah. Covered it really well. Your fart.

Oh, yeah, the Cornish people do scones wrong. They do jam, then cream. They do it the right way, yes. Yeah, that's why they put the spread on and then the cream on top. I mean, it makes sense. They do scons wrong, but they do pasties. Oh, so right. Yeah, that's right.

Anyway, that's it. Getting a few sticering at us having different accents. Like, you didn't already know that. Wait, which bit? What did we say wrong? Scones. There's no W in it. What are you doing?

Scowans. What are you doing? I don't know what that is. I love it. That's something from around here, I reckon. Hugh Lane. Right. Began his career as an apprentice painting restorer

working for an art dealer in London. He went on to become a very successful art dealer in his own right. For a time, money really came and then went, leading him to become a famously frugal man. According to The Guardian, like his aunt, he frequently dined on a bun and a piece of fruit. Good combo. Sounds like he's living like a king.

What kind of fruit are we talking? Because that changes a lot of things. Rotting fruit. Okay, well, that doesn't sound that great then. He operated out of London, and he remained in close contact, however, with family and friends back in the motherland in Ireland. And according to his own website, quote, he counted among his family and friends

those who collectively formed the core of the Irish cultural renaissance in the early decades of the 20th century. When's this story from? Early 1900s. How does he have a website? He does. He was ahead of his time. I mean the real story is here he invented the internet

I think he's zoned out but he's actually He's asking the right questions on him I was like a hundred years after he's dead His website is still really beefing him up as being in touch Yeah, the Renaissance Lots of hashtags He's dabbing On a visit back to Dublin in 1901

Hugh Lane viewed an exhibition of paintings by Nathaniel Hone and John Butler Yeats who was the father of many artists, including poet William Butler Yeats. Ever heard of him? Hugh Lane was so impressed by the exhibition that he began a campaign to establish a gallery of modern art here in Dublin. To further his campaigned in 1904, Lane organised the first ever exhibition of contemporary Irish art abroad in London, and it was a big success.

And from that, he decided to ask famous Irish artists to donate work to kick off his own collection, as well as commissioning new paintings and donating stuff from his own collection, including work by Manet, Degar and Renoir, all absolutely top French impressionists. Matt is also an absolutely top French impressionist.

Matt, can we hear some of your French impressions now? We. But I do question if they were really top artists, because if they were, they'd be Ninja Turtles. That is true. That's a very good point. You're not part of the big four, who are you? Yeah.

Yeah. So he opened the municipal gallery of modern art in Dublin in 1908. The following year, he was knighted at the age of just 33. And in 1914, he was appointed director of the National Gallery of Ireland. So everything was going well. But sadly, all good things must come to an end. On May 1st, 1915, Lane as well as 1958 other people, boarded the RMS Lucitania in New York City. They know what happens, but I do not.

It sounds bad. They're going to have a good time. Oh, nice. A cruise? Lovely. They were bound for Liverpool. Lane had been to New York and business selling two paintings to a wealthy industrialist.

This was 1915, so during World War I and Germany had declared it would open fire on any ship, military or otherwise, that had encountered outside the British Isles. The German embassy even published a warning notice in 50 US newspapers, warning travelers of the risk of crossing the Atlantic. These ads sometimes ran opposite pages advertising the Lusitania cruise. I'm not a single page spread.

Come! It's a beautiful cruise over here. We will destroy that cruise. Crazy. But thankfully, you're happy to hear this, Jess. The journey went off without a hitch, and she was nearing the end of her journey just 11.5 miles on 19 kilometers

of the old head of Kinzail, the south of course. when she was spotted by a German U-boat, which is basically a submarine. The U-boat fired one, possibly two torpedoes. It's very debated. I got lost in the debate about it. Into the side of the Lusitania,

for the passengers and crew, the attack came from nowhere. One passenger said, quote, it sounded like a million-ton hammer hitting a steam boiler 100 feet high, which is a very specific description. I mean, how that sounds like. Suspiciously specific. That was hard to say.

With a giant hole in her side, the Lusitania sank in just 18 minutes. And of the 19159 people on board, 1198 were killed, including our main man, Hugh Lane. Sorry, just to wind back a sec, 18 minutes. 18 minutes? Would you prefer...

Two more or three less. Sink faster or slower. Honestly, I don't think boats sort of adhere to that rule. Well, they should. Yeah, that's a good point. That's a very good point. I can't argue with that. Just take 20.

Just take 20. You fucking boat. You dumb boat. Yeah. Elaine was dead and he had a large collection of art. In his world, he left 39 paintings to quote... Oh, no. You don't have one more lying around.

In his will, he left, quote, 40 paintings. Thank you. To the people of Ireland. This is known as the Hugh Lane collection. Many of these 39 or 40 paintings were considered significant and it was fantastic news for all of Ireland. So you guys just like take turns, just like share it around and have it at your house for a certain period of time.

That's awesome, that's great. But there was one problem. Hugh Lane hadn't had anyone witness the will. One problem. Make it four more problems. Should explain, oh no, I was about to explain to the enthusiastic people who've never seen the show before, but they have left. They are not there. What we're doing, okay, yeah.

They're coming back. Jess has got a, oh, Jess has got a weird thing about numbers or something, I don't really get it either. I don't really understand it either. You probably piece that together. Yeah. Fancy looking drink. You want us to stop addressing you a lot? Because, yeah, okay.

The way you're covering your face makes it look like you don't want us to be talking to you right now. And we're reading that, we're seeing that in you. You're being seen right now. Yeah. We understand. We get it. We're going to stop talking to you. We're going to stop talking to you.

Okay. Because we know it's making you uncomfortable. We don't want to do that. Yeah. Where are you from? What's your name? Yeah. Let's bring her up on stage.

I was kidding. No, no. Absolutely kidding. Leave her alone. So sorry about that. So what should we call you? It'd be easier to apologise to someone with a name. On stage, all right.

All right, so his will and been witness, meaning that a previous will was considered legitimate. The previous will was made in 1913, when after his plans for a new gallery and Ireland were rejected, things got pretty nasty. Lane cracked it and organised instead to donate his collection to the National Gallery in London. Oops.

It's too easy. It's like you say anything like Ireland and they're like, wow! And this next bit's going to really piss you off. So the National Gallery agreed to accept them but not right away, but soon. They also made note that they didn't think many of the paintings were worth hanging,

turning up their noses at paintings by Monet and Renoir. Yeah, they really know a good thing those English. Yeah. They're just little dots. And this is why most people think Lane went back on the agreement and changed his will back to leave the paintings to Ireland. On the condition a suitable gallery be built to house them. But now Lane was dead,

the National Gallery were more than happy to take the previously unhangable paintings off his cold dead hands. So they put them on display at the famous Tate Gallery. Understandably, there was uproar in Ireland, people claiming that Lane had said to many people that he wanted the paintings estate at his home country, but sadly for you, the law was on the side of the ink,

I've literally got written here, pause for booing. He really does. He's in your heads. So London put the paintings on display and argued that if Lane had seen the extension of the Tate Gallery, he would have changed his mind and one of them displayed there anyway. As you can hear here, Jess, the English gallery continued to show the paintings, but some Irish would never forget. So 41 years go past and we cut to 1956.

We meet 21-year-old Dubliner Paul Hogan. What? What's that? We meet 21-year-old Dubliner Paul Hogan. Paul Hogan. Paul Hogan. Yeah. Paul Hogan. You've got your own Houges over here.

Wow. Did he also paint the Sydney Harbour Bridge? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Local references. All right, here we go. So we got the original Paul Hogan, some call him. Oh, I don't know about that.

And his mate, Billy... I reckon our Hogan was alive then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's have a Hogue's off. Yes. All right. We'll listen about this Paul Hogan and we'll decide who's the better Paul Hogan.

Let's find out which one played Crocodole Dundee. Let's find out. Let's find out. Who played Croc Dundee better? I reckon it was our one. That's not a Hogan. This is a Hogan. I mean, all you've got to do is bag the English and say lines from films.

I'm flying, Jack. Doesn't need context. So Paul Hogan, he's mate Billy Fogarty from Galway. Sure it had been four decades, but Hogan wasn't going to let the injustice slide any longer. He was an art student and used this to be able to get closer to the paintings. He and his mate Foggedy Case the Take Gallery

Whilst pretending to sketch The very paintings They were planning to steal They settled on Huard de Tette Or Summers Day by French impressionist Bertha Morissot Just say Summer's Day then I reckon

I mean Don't attempt I should have tried Well I did And I failed I shouldn't have failed As well I mean

I painted in 1879 It depicts two women Seated in a boat and at the time was worth 10,000 pounds. Nothing to scoff at in the 50s. These days, it's worth about 8 million pounds. Oh, it's a lot of pounds. It's not very big.

That's about a trillion Australian dollars. It really is. It's... It's... Fuck, I know. I don't know. We don't know if I might pick that up, but that was, you're not in England now,

and my retort is, we never were. We haven't been there yet. So it's not a big painting either. It's 45 by 75 centimetres. Hogan's plan was to grab the painting. off the wall and then run towards the gallery's exit with it under his arm. This is some real ocean's 11 bullshit. All right, I'm going to grab it.

I'm going to run at a door. He was sure he'd be stopped, but he knew the incident would get the conversation about the proper place of the paintings kickstarted. So he hired a photographer to stand there and take his photo as he attempted to steal it. Yeah, great. He's a PR man. So he grabbed the painting and walked towards the exit as planned. But nobody stopped him.

He walked out of the building and still no one stopped him. Suddenly he was outside with a painting under his arm which was famously caught on camera because he had the friend taking the photo. But he hadn't planned for this. He had no idea what to do. He planned for the photographer to catch him being arrested or fighting off security,

not just casually strolling down a London street with a painting under his arm. The two Irish kids had no real knowledge of London so they got into a black cab and asked them to take them to the first place. that they could think of, which was Piccadilly Circus. Luckily, the night before, Hogan had met an Irish lass at a bar, a girl called Martha, and they went around to her flat,

and she agreed to let them hide the painting under her bed. You're right, it's real Ocean 11th stuff. Meanwhile, the crime was reported in the photo of Hogan running down the steps with the painting under his arm was in newspapers across the country. The officer in charge of the investigation was a certain DCI McGraw, an Irish police officer who... Did he just boo? Is it because he's a police officer?

Or because his name's McGraw? That's very specific. Oh, that is quite specific. McGraw had experience with this kind of cases a few years earlier. He solved what is the funniest sounding case of all time to me, the case of the missing stone of scone. Where four Scottish students had removed

the stone of scone. It's actually the stone of scone. This fucking guy. Anyway, on the run, the two Irish lads asked Mary, who I called Martha before, anyway, to leave the painting at the Irish Embassy in London

and it was soon returned to the Tate Gallery. The boys were still on the run, though, until Irish cop DCI McGra discovered that the pair were making a run for the Liverpool Fairy and... Ferry. Yeah, that's very different.

The Liverpool fairy And you know The McGra is a good cop Because he called up Paul's mother And told her that he was deciding to let them go Oh, I need it He didn't catch him He didn't catch him

She's just being a hero Yep I decided to let him go It was on me I made that call Yep Always the plan These days the paintings

Are still technically owned by the Tate but they have come to a compromise with the Hugh Lane Gallery here in Dublin. 31 of Lane's 39 paintings have been on long-term... I'm so sorry. I've been on long-term loan to the Hugh Lane Gallery here in London, whilst the real jewels in the collection, including the manets, the Daegas, Pizarros and Monets,

travel back and forth between Dublin and London every six years. Oh, that was about to sound impressive. If it was months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds, Dan, I'm impressed. Years, you may as well not have said that. It's me every six minutes? You've wasted every...

Now, that's noteworthy. That's interesting. Yes. What are the logistics of that? Whoa. Tell me more. Six years. Okay.

What I told you, the most recent rotation was but two months ago. All right. Thanks for going with me. I needed that. I needed that. But that's the story of the Hulane painting robbery. Thank you. Not a bad little tale.

You know, if you're into that sort of children's play. But now we're going to get a little more adult. I'm so scared. What have you picked? Yeah, the Irish Mr. Hans. Instead of a horse, it's an Irish horse. I feel like there's nowhere but Dublin where hecklers are funny. That's just like...

It doesn't happen anywhere else. Everywhere else they are the worst. Oh, mate. Shut the fuck up. But here it's like, oh, mate, please shut up. We're trying to be funnier than you. You're embarrassing us. My question to get us on topic is,

what boozy disaster in Dublin claim the lives of 13 people in the 19th century? So a cheerful tale, yes. Boosey disaster. I'll give you a clue. It's four words. The first two are The Dublin. Okay.

Okay, we've got half, yes. The third is a type of alcohol and the fourth is a type of disaster. Whiskey? Yes. Oh, okay, now a type of what? Disaster. Please, I mean, it's tsunami.

Tornado. That'd be amazing. I mean, it's not far off, but it's also a mile off, but yeah. The Dublin, whiskey. Yeah, both. Both of those are true. Massacre. The Dublin Whiskey Massacre.

That'd be amazing. I heard fire. Does someone say fire? Yeah, fire's right. Oh! Flood is also right, strangely. Yeah, it's a fire flood. This was suggested by Rob from Dublin.

Rob, Ian? There's a Rob here. You're happy to claim it. Yep. Okay, well, the story begins around 8pm on the 18th of June 1875 in the Liberties, which is just two kilometres from here. We walked through it yesterday. You wondered why?

Well, this is why. And also because you said, my topic's from around here. And we went, all right. So, in the liberties at Reed's Malt House and Malone's bonded warehouse on Chamber Street, they both caught fire. Okay, so is that? Yeah, that's a cracker. I'm going to go into more detail, but that's basically the story.

According to a report in the Illustrated London News at the time, Boo, the... Yeah, we hate illustrations here. Just give us the words. We can make it up in our minds. What's wrong with you? Apologies in advance for the currency, but at the time, I'm afraid you were using the pound, so... Hey, look, I'm sorry. It was a dark few centuries there where those cunts...

I reckon we could get this crowd to, like, kill people if we wanted to. Jimmy did it! So this is a quote from a news report at the time. The former, talking about Malone's bonded warehouse and reeds malt house. So is it a haunted warehouse or bonded? Bonded. I don't know what it means, but it said that in every source.

It called it Malone's Bonded Warehouse. That sounds like a terrible infomercial. Come on down to Malone's Bonted Warehouse. Anyway, the former had around 2,000 pounds worth of malt in it, and the latter, which immediately adjoins it, had 5,000 barrels of whiskey worth 54,000 pounds. One more thousand. Well, back then,

that was what it was worth. The Irish Examiner estimates the modern equivalent to be 6.5 million in the correct euros. The fire ripped through the... Imagine currency. And say Australian dollars and just like cried. I've never done it. Never. Never. I have not lived. Obviously I've not lived. I mean, didn't we have pounds. Sorry, when you just said Australian dollar then... I'm sorry. I must go on. I'm... Hey man, just think about little five-cent pieces. Oh my God.

They're so cute. They got the little... Akidna's on them? Yeah, that sounds right. Dingoes? No. Echinnas. Wallabies.

All right, the fire ripped through the... Oh. Started that sentence with a lot of gusto. Wrong tone, wrong tone. Wrong tone. The fire ripped through the properties. Bursing open the casks that held the booze. I think it should be...

bursting open the car. This sent a river of whiskey cascading onto the surrounding streets. Proud of those Irish streets. The whiskey was on fire and flowed like hot lava through the streets. Oh, that's not good. Before the fire brigade

arrived to try and deal with it, crowds already gathered around collecting the liquor in any vessel they could find. They're like, they're doing the fish bowl. They brought pots, buckets, jars and failing that, used their hats. Is the liquid still on fire?

Yes. You got your hat trying to scoop up fire. Within hours, fire had torn through the houses down one side of Mill Street. Shops went as well, including a tannery, leading to an overbearing stench of burnt leather in the air. Oh, there's only one thing worse than that,

and that's burnt leather. And I say that from experience. A lot of friction. No, you're on a timeout for that one. Turn that way. Come on. I don't say anything gross. Stop pointing at the nice people.

Sorry, sorry. The fire was heading straight for the Coombe Maternity Hospital. I'm not saying that right? Coombe. Someone gave me a slight note there. Cumb. So I was heading straight for that maternity hospital before a change in the direction of the wind saved it.

Apparently the papers at the time called this an act of God. Though as an historian and former Dublin firefighter, Las Fallon observed that the same act of God destroyed a row of houses opposite. Works in mysterious ways. You know? No? Dublin in 1875 looked very different than it does now. And apparently many...

Yeah, it looked on fire. And they had pounds. Ugh. Yuck. Apparently many people kept livestock back then. And as the examiner writes, the presence of cart horses and pigs maddened by heat added further to the pandemonium.

Oh, no. The pigs had maddened by heat. Actually, I'm a bit like that. If I get too hot, oh. I shut down. That's not funny, it's just a truth about me. Let him in. That's real nice.

Yeah, I'm being vulnerable in the space. As well as the barnyard animals, there were many dogs kept as pets. Huh? Different time. One such dog reportedly took its own life. Okay, now you're on a timeout. We're just going to sit here in silence for a bit. Dare I ask how?

Let me tell you. The Irish Times reported that the case of canine suicide occurred when, quote, a dog ran through an open door of the home of William Eyre on Dominic Street Upper. The animal was foaming at the mouth

and evidently either rabid or suffering from delirium tremens at the hands of the lapped-up whiskey. The paper goes on. The dog dashed madly about the house knocking over furniture and attacking the homeowner. When Mr. Eyre fended the dog off using an iron bar,

the animal ran upstairs, jumped from the top floor window, and, quote, terminated its existence in the road below. I wasn't sure whether or not to include that. And how do you feel about that decision now? Justified. Yeah. Does anyone get the feeling that Mr. Eyre has thrown a dog out of window? I tried.

I don't know. It jumped, I don't know. It jumped. It was crazy. I tried to save it with an iron bar. Even that wasn't enough. That's fucked. Amongst all the chaos, many of those collecting the alcohol were drinking it there and then. Why?

It's like when you get flaming shots. Yeah. Remember to blow them out. Yeah, you've got to blow it out. Newspaper reports at the time spoke of two porters named Helian McNulty being found, quote, lying insensible. in a lane off Cork Street with their boots laying beside them. Evidently, they had used their footwear as receptacles. Shoeys.

Dave, show them the shooie. Do a shooey, Australian tradition? I am not doing a shooey. Do you incur yourself straying? No. These are... These are the finest plethe money can buy. That's right. You will regret that.

He went real sheepish there. It was the best. I've been in my mum face Is that right? Oh, is that right? Yeah, you want to have a thing about what you just said? Oh, is that right? Oh, yeah. Oh, is that a good idea, was it? I'm a bit disappointed. I'm a bit disappointed, actually.

Go to your room. The Dublin Fire Brigade was led by Captain James Robert Ingram. He was experienced and had previously... I can't mind. He didn't get a round of applause. He's a bloody goddamn Dublin hero. He was experienced and had previously worked for the New York Fire. department. It was a Dublin man, but he went over and worked

in New York and then came back to head up the Dublin Fire Department. Ingram was known for his unconventional strategies. Apparently when a ship was on fire in Dublin Harbour, he put out the fire by having the ship sunk. Literally surrounded by water. It makes sense.

Problem solved. Next. I like this. Yeah, I like it too. I like his thinking. I wonder if that, yeah, he probably couldn't have dealt with many fires that way? And the boat's like, it's a kitchen fire. Do I mean, did you have to sink the whole thing? Yeah.

Yeah. I work in mysterious ways. In this scenario, Ingram, with the whiskey fire, Ingram knew that he couldn't simply put the fire out with water. Downtown Dublin was too big to drop in the ocean. He tried, by God, he tried. But also he knew that if he hosed the fire, the water would just sink. below the flaming whiskey

and all of a sudden the fire whiskey would be floating faster through the streets. So, luckily, it was smart enough to know that because other people in the town were trying to put it out with water and it was just making the fire spread quicker. Instead, he used things like gravel, sand and even horse manure. He ordered that all the horse manure in the city be brought to the liberties,

where it was used to create dams and it successfully started soaking up the burning river of whiskey. So now it smells like burning shit Burning whiskey shit Oh we've all had one of those Flashing forward to my morning On the way here Our cab driver

Was complaining about when he went on a Scandinavian cruise That when the lady found out that he was Irish He said oh you'll be wanting to upgrade the drinks package then He's like we're not all drunks I'm starting to think that he was lying He also called, and he taught us this word, he called that woman. You better say it properly. A gobshite.

And it's, honestly, that's in my top five words now. Just after glock and spiel for me. He was telling us about an American lady who had done an impression of an Irish person. And he said, oh, you're sounding like a gobshite. And she said, what's that? And he said, well, you're being one now. This is the same car I was talking about earlier that had a thing in the back saying how to ride in a limousine.

Yeah, we travel in style. It took hundreds of members of the police force army and fire brigade to get the fire under control. Are they just shitting in the street now? Yeah. You do what you do. Yeah, the police horses have been called in. The fire horses, the army horses.

And, yep, that's all of them. Just the horses, horses, race horses, my little pony club. All of them were in there, shitting everywhere. And it was brought a tear to your Irish eye. But those groups were later commended for their bravery. The damage done was extensive, though, with buildings on Mill Street, Artie Street, Chamber Street and Cork Street, all destroyed, as well as many nearby businesses.

On top of this, of the 5,000 barrels of liquor, only 61 were recovered. Most of them going in the fire, but some disappearing under suspicious circumstances. With the Irish Times saying at the time, three casks were rolled into the coom, and the result was that six men were arrested in a beastly state of intoxication. Which I'm... Bordering on, yeah. Several more being conveyed to hospital.

So they were dropping. Thirteen people died during the first. fire? How many dogs? Countless dogs. At the time, Lord Mayor Peter Paul McSwiny told an assent... Which I assume was a pig.

Peter Paul McSwiny told an assembled meeting, it was amazing that death toll wasn't higher. Of the deaths, none resulted from the flames or even smoke inhalation. Instead, as the Irish Times reported, each succumbed to alcohol poisoning.

From drinking, quote, freely of the derelict whiskey. Mayor McSweeney McSwine said the alcohol-related deaths would have likely happened in, quote, any city where there... It happened anywhere, all right? He's drunk right now. Any city where there was a tendency to indulge immoderately in drink. I reckon Melbourne would be in trouble. In the present case, the unfortunate, this is still him quoting him, in the present case, the unfortunate victims apparently could not restrain themselves,

as I understand, from the burning fluid. And that is the end of my report. Anyone got a lot? That's the best. Okay, I'm going to bring it home now, and I never write a question, and I didn't this time either. But this topic has been suggested by someone who I'm pretty sure is here. here.

Derek Hurrigan. Derek? Oh, okay. Oh, my friend. All right. It was the chatty Kathy over there. Fucking, fucking Derek. Yeah, oh yeah, okay.

It's not too late to change your topic. Yeah. I think I'll just riff it. No, you're all great, Derek. No, but when he suggested it, Derek wrote, specifically for the Irish Live show, A lot of people aren't aware of the story behind our most famous export

And then in brackets he wrote That isn't Bono This because I'm doing Bono Strapping Cards I'm so sorry I'm very sorry I can't wait to hear about the edge Let's hear around

All one of the other two The Edge is English Fuck off I didn't And I wrote this report But it's not about the Edge He's so on the edge of Ireland, he's English. We should do more shows very late at night.

What time is it? It's like 10. You're now cheering for the concept of time. This is insane and I love me. I'm pretty sure they were cheering me getting naked. That's my hip. I'm going to go quickly through this because we are overtime

and also they hate Bono. Is that true? Do you really dislike Bono? I mean... Are you talking to me? Or answering the question. You brought up Bono. Guys, I mean, you sounded pretty upset with Bono, but what do you got to remember?

He moves in mysterious ways. I'm going to just breeze through it. Oh, man, I'm excited. So, yeah, all right. His name's Paul. Paul David Houston. Are you booing Paul now? Anyone who's Paul?

Who's Paul? Buhurn. Boer Burns. Here in Dublin in 1960 and his mother, Iris, was a member of the Church of Ireland and his father Brendan was Roman Catholic and they agreed

that their first child would be raised Anglican and the second Catholic, the logistics of which baffle me. What the fuck does their Sunday look like? So his mother was... I didn't hear that, but they didn't like it. His mother was an Irish woman named Iris from the Church of Ireland.

That's pretty fucking Irish. Irish from Irish. Irish. Do I do the accent? I wasn't doing the accent. It doesn't end well when you do that. My mum was actually in Icona, so it's okay. All right, mate.

I thought you were 1-8th Swiss Italian. No, it's 116th, I believe. You really pick and choose? Yeah, well, many. 16th attack I once the first time I traveled I was backpacking and I was in Prague and I was in a dorm with an Irish person I said oh most of my heritage is from Ireland and she said who gives a fuck it's a very good point it's a very good point apparently Irish people get that all the time so much too much but have we mentioned that we both have Irish heritage so I don't we know German Did you know that growing up Bono and his friends were part of a surrealist street gang? Oh yeah and I'm starting to hate him as well. What the fuck is a surrealist street gang?

Do you know what that is? Nah. Just sounded dumb. Like a lot of teenagers, they'd love to give each other nicknames. And Matt, do you want to have a go of this one? Oh. This is Bono's first nickname. Stein Hegvan, Heisenol.

Bang, bang, bang. That's catchy. Yeah, it is, but it didn't stick for some reason. Then it got followed by Houseman, Bonn Murray, Bono Vox of O'Connell Street, and finally just Bono. It's going to be a long night if we... Just let me get through and we can all get the fuck out of here. BonoVox means something like boy vocals or something, right?

Good voice. Good voice. Good voice. Right. It was actually... Well, when I say boy, same as good. Women bad. Sorry, as a feminist, I'm allowed to make that joke.

Probably the best feminists in the room, to be honest. So, we're in ladies. Let's hear what I've got to say. That's a little bit of a regret face. Just for you. All right. So in the mid-70s, he and his friends, David Evans, The Edge. his brother Dick

and Adam Clayton are you cheering Dick I don't get this place I love it so much they saw an ad on a bulletin board posted by a guy called Larry Mullen Jr looking for people to form a rock band and the group got together for occasional jam sessions

but they weren't very good at covering other bands so they decided to write their own songs they're not good at playing already written songs So they thought, we'll just ride our own then. That is classic Larry Mullins, Jr. Classic. They named their band Feedback,

but they changed it after a few months due to some negative criticism. I'll be honest, when I wrote that, I was alone in my house, and I typed it and I went, worth it. No one was around. I was like, there's no one to check with.

Be weird if you turn to be. I didn't know there was someone there. Before you kill me, hear this. What do you think of this joke? It may be my legacy. So they changed their name to the hype until Dick Evans left the band to form another band, Virgin Prunes.

Wow, these are all awful. Yep. The hype is actually worse than Virgin Prunes, I reckon. Yeah. And then when Dick left the band, they changed their name to use. too. Yeah.

We've got some fans of the hype here. And I've got a beautiful quote here as well because Bono took to writing the songs and he was playing the guitar and in an interview in 1982 he said when we started out I was the guitar player along with the edge except I couldn't play guitar.

I still can't. I was such a lousy guitar player that one day they broke it to me that maybe I should sing in I had tried before but I had no voice at all. I remember the day I found I could sing. I said, oh, that's how you do it. This guy's a billionaire.

You can't string together a sentence. That's why you hate him. It's tall poppy syndrome, I get it. He'll still occasionally play rhythm guitar or harmon. Oh, who cares? Okay, so anyway, back to 1978. You two won a talent contest in Limerick. I can't... Stop City. Just... meh

oh I've just made the screen go weird it's the bono curse they won a talent contest and the prize consisted of I don't want to say the currency oh no not dong not mousy dong

which I believe what country uses mousy dong as currency Vietnamese dong oh dong that's hot I love that You love Dong? I love Dong. All right.

They won... Hang on a second. They won 500 pounds. And studio time. Yay. I don't know. That's probably 40 grand. I don't know.

God, we suck. And they also won some studio time so they could go record a demo. And so they went, they went to record their demo tape at Keystone Studios. Dublin in April of 1978 and it was no good. Their demo was very bad. Still are. And they were young and they were really nervous so they didn't do, they didn't do a great job.

But luckily they're introduced to Paul McGinnis who agreed to be their manager the following year and they continued to build their fan base with performances across Ireland. But I'm not just talking about you two today, I'm talking about Bono. Whom we love. Isn't we, they're so patriotic about everything Irish. Everything. Euros. Botto. Name another Irish person.

You can't. You can't. You can't do it. Enya. Oh, really? Yeah, she's great. She'd done Enya. Damn it.

A certain... Actually, only 14, 16, so... Yeah. What about... Harry Keane or something Socket, Larry Keane Robbie Keene Yep

Big fan of his Big fan of Robbie Keane The way or the things he could do with the ball Go the St. Patrick Saints Alright Which are a local team In one of the sporting competitions This is something that you'll enjoy

Okay, please do you go on There was a bit of a shift in you two sound and focus with their 1991 album Do you happen to remember what album? Actung, baby! As a guess, as a guess, that's what I think. I just wanted you to say, Ak tung, baby. Why do I keep fucking up my screen?

Which is actually a very German phrase, Dave. Yeah. Yeah. That means, get out of here, baby! Something like that, I think. Something into that effect. I can confirm that because I am definitely German. Lusely translated.

When they were on tour with this album Bono appeared on stage in character as a few of his stage personas Let me tell you about him now One of them's called like Mammick Feast Mammock Cheese There's one where he has devil's horns

And he's like grimace How about I just tell you about it? How about that? Birdie, no, no, it's the riddler The hamburger Fun Buns McGee Am I getting close? I don't know. How about I tell you about them

and then you tell me which one of those you were thinking of? It's something like Mayor McNasty or something. No. I hope he plays The Edge's dad. Just starts telling off the Edge. Go to bed, Edge, go to bed. Just plays one note for solid four minutes.

That's what they do, isn't it? Yeah, basically. No, so his character, well, one of them was The Fly. A leather-clad eagermaniac It was a character It was a character Yeah, it was a parody It was a parody

He was parodying rock stardom He often stayed in character Away from the tour He's a method dicket For several years at a time Including for public Appearances and when staying in hotels

He said That rather cracked character Could say things that I couldn't Well you did though didn't you? You did say them. But then the next character was Mirrorball man. You're kidding. Good names too. Mirrorball man. He wore a shining silver suit with matching shoes and a cowboy hat. And he was a parody of greedy American televangelists,

showmen and car salesmen, all in one. That's efficient. He's taken them all. And he said that that character represented the kind of showman America. He had the confidence and charm. to pick up a mirror and look at himself and give the glass a big kiss. I think he's lost it. And this is in 1991. Yeah.

And yeah. But then, oh, okay, maybe this is what you were thinking of. Mirrorball man was replaced by McFaisto. Yeah, that's him. It's a parody of the devil. Yes, that's him. Okay. If you see video of it, it's hard to watch.

Yeah, it sounds like it was, he wore a gold suit. with gold platform shoes, pale makeup, lipstick, and devil horns. And he spoke with an exaggerated upper class English accent. Character, he would sing the closing song, Can't Help Falling in Love, with an oddly childlike manner that many reviewers found one of the most poignant moments of the show. I don't know if that's true at all.

They were on top of the world. At this point, they could do no wrong. All of this stuff, it's like, yeah, when you're on fire, literally and people will not piss on you this is like it's much like that but he just people wouldn't tell him no i think yeah so he's no ideas were bad ideas then this is a man even though all of them sound like they were

yeah they're all bad ideas but this is a man who has won 22 Grammys terrifying um three more or two less thank you am i doing it right yeah you get it yeah fuck i didn't even realize that if you hadn't brought that up i could have just gone on with my day 22, it's a nice number. And also, in 2008, Rolling Stone ranked Bono the 32nd greatest singer of all time.

32. Yeah. 32, lax. Yeah. Top 32 is pretty good. 47 at a push. Oh, we're going to start a riot. Just breezing through.

Did you know Bono in The Edge also wrote the music and lyrics for the Broadway musical Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark? Yeah. I hear it went really well. Why? Do you know they wrote the golden eye theme song? Dun dun dun dun dun. Thank you. And then it's got this horrible fake horn sound

that sounds like this. Oh, terrible. That sounded great. Oh, thank you. You got a beautiful voice. Thank you so much. I've actually the 33rd best singer. On this podcast, yes.

That's true. It's true, yeah. It's true. Okay, this is my, maybe my favourite thing I've ever read. In 2016, Glamour magazine's annual Woman of the Year accolade was a little different with them also awarding Botto the title of man of the year. Let's hear them out. Let's hear what Glamour had to say about this. They surely wasn't Mirable Man of the Year.

Mirable Man of the Year. This is what Glamour said. They said, for the first time, the awards also honour a man. Yeah, about time. For years, our Woman of the Year advisory board has put the kibosh on naming a man of the year on the grounds that men aren't exactly hurting for awards in the world but that here at glamour, the tribe we're into celebrating, is female.

But these days, most women want men, no, need men in our tribe. When the president declared himself a feminist, when super cool actors line up to endorse the United Nations hashtag he for she campaign and when a major male rock star who could do anything at all with his life decides to focus on the rights of women and girls worldwide well all that's worth celebrating we're proud to name that rock star bono is our first man of the year

that is should have been here land there's a good year for him 2016 I think that is outrageous Isn't that just so weird that they justify it like that? It's just like, we just need men. And we need Bono specifically. That's so weird.

But anyway. I have no problem with any of that. As a feminist here, you get it. But finally, just to wrap it up, I skipped a big chunk there because I felt your distaste. I read it and I went, well, I've got to speak for a bit anyway, so I'm going to. But to bring it all together in an interview earlier this year,

when asked about his achievements, Bono said that even after decades of performing to huge crowds all around the world, fighting injustice, raising a family, being Bono. He's still... Avoiding taxes. Yep. Did you hear what he said? Yeah.

Was it good? It might have fucked my punchline, to be honest. Hey, guys, it would really help me out if you make it look like I didn't fuck the punchline. I'm going to get my ass kicked later. That's true. So even after... these decades of achievements and everything that he's done, he said that he still hasn't found what he's looking for.

Dave, I've got to tell you, what you just did was not the sweetest thing. That was a beautiful line. Fuck you, Dave. That was a beautiful line. That's it. That's my report on Bono. Can we please have one applause? And can we just say you're technically cheering Bono in that moment?

It's a Dublin guy. amazing. Is it... But he's Dublin's prick. Does he fuck? Is he fuck? Is he fuck? Good question. Good question. Is that one of his characters?

Fuck. What does that mean? What I don't know? Is he fuck? What does that mean? It's not grammatically correct. Makes no sense. Is he fuck? I'll tell you what.

Jess, you asking that question makes you sound like a real gobshite. Well, I guess that does just about bring us to the end of the show. Thank you so much for coming out. Hang it out. Pardon? Oh, thank you. I thought you were telling you.

Really appreciate that. Thank you. I thought you were giving me notes on how to thank you. You should say thank you for coming. Which we agree. Thank you so much for coming out to the Sugar Club. What a great venue, by the way. This is very cool.

Yeah, seriously appreciate it. you being here first ever time for us doing a show in Ireland and you came out and packed it out we do appreciate that so much. It's crazy to us that we get to come here and do this show for you so thank you so much for coming out. Give yourselves another round of applause. And that does bring us

to the end of the show so for another week, thank you so much and until next time I'll say thank you and goodbye. Later! Bye! Wow, what an episode. That was so good. It was wild with a capital wild.

It was nice that we sat here as well and re-listened to it in full together. Wow. Holding hands. I really laughed at my own jokes. None of yours. No, I know. I noticed that and it hurt twice. Yeah, twice is nice.

Yeah. I like it when Dave hurts. Me. Yeah. But let's be genuine for one moment. No. We are recording this in Leeds, our three shows of the Kishmish tour under our belt. And we've met.

a lot of people already and we just want to say thank you to everyone that's come out to the shows. Oh man, it's been so lovely meeting everyone and God, you do know how to line up in the UK, you know? They know how to queue. They know how to queue. Great cures. They form an orderly line and they chat to us and they're absolutely lovely. So big, big thank you to everybody who's come out and supported the show. It makes sense.

The cure is from here. Ah, okay. It all adds up. Is that a pun? We're still not sure. probably. Still not sure. Someone explained it to me tonight and I've already kind of forgotten.

He made it sound both simple and complex. Exactly. Ah, the English. But yeah, no, it's been really, really nice. So we appreciate it very much. And that Dublin crowd was one of the rowdiest crowds. Well, probably the rowdies crowd we've ever performed to and that was fun. That was so fun.

Walking out to that wall of sound hitting you, of them just screaming. It's a shame that we didn't really capture it very well on the recording because actually a couple people died and I don't think you could hear that in recording but it was that louder, two or more people died. Their eardrums burst and then after that their heart exploded.

Yeah, and I exploded and I got reformed by their love. It was amazing. It was amazing. If you weren't there to see it, honestly, I'm now reformed. And honestly, he's a lot nicer. Yeah, actually it was a whole new thing for me.

Are you born again? I'm a born again. Matt. Matt. Matt's, Jim. You too can be a born-again mat at Matt Stewartcom. What can you do there? The weirdest plug of ever.

I appreciate it. Sign up some beautiful audio books you've been selling. You're preaching the good preach. You should do an audiobook. I would love to do an audio book. I should write a book and then I'll turn it into an audio book. In a way, isn't podcasting an audio book? Unscripted audiobooks.

Oh my God. This is an improvised audio book. I'm doing it. It's happening. Oh, God. Is this it? I'm in the middle of an audio book? It's so nice to watch you live your dream.

Oh my God. It feels so good to be in my dream. Chapter 240. So many chapters. Three different local breweries gave me beers tonight. Yeah. I had to take a few of them back with me and they are delicious. Is there a time where you pinch yourself and thought, have I died and gone to heaven?

I couldn't believe it. Leeds is like some beer lovers heaven. Leeds is love, like it's so nice. It's such a cool city. City? Yeah. Yeah, it's quite a big place. It's a beautiful town.

Beautiful. Can't wait to explore it. When that kid or woman or person in the crowd said, Lutz, leats, leets, leets, leeks, leets. That was real fun. That was great. That was culture. I was thinking that I was referencing something from the show they just heard,

but that was something from the show we just did. We just did. And you may hear that in the coming weeks. Yes, there's a little bit of sizzle for you. Unless the tape is lost. Oh. Did something go wrong or? Could have.

Oh. You're just being aloof. Well, is everything all right? For a cost, I could maybe find that tape again. You want me to pay you? You're trying to blackmail us?

I mean, it would be terrible if that tape would have catch fire, wouldn't it? It would be a real, I'd be a real shame. Real shame. It's sort of caught a mischief. Caught a mischief. Okay, Matt, yeah, I'll give you some money. Unrelated, can I please borrow your wallet for a moment? Yeah.

Wonderful. There you go. We have. fun. So what we normally do at the end of the episodes is talk about some of our favorite people in the words. Favorite people in the world, yes. And world, yeah.

Also our favorite people in the words. And our feelings. I stand by that. I never misspeak. I just accidentally say what I meant. What you meant? Yeah. Wow.

What we normally do when we're thanking some of our favorite people who support us at patreon.com slash to go on pod. Yes. The first group of people we like to thank is in our favorite section of the show. It's called the do-go-on. The do-go-on. It's called the do-go-on. Fact-quote or question section.

And it goes a little something like this. Fact-quote or question. Ding! Coming too early with the ding there, Dave. You've been doing that lately? I'm sorry to bring it up now. I have perfect rhythm. I don't know you do, because I say like question.

They always forget the ding. A little Super Nintendo Chalmers quote there. As long as we're having fun. And this week in the fact quote a question segment, like every week, we like to shout out. A couple of patrons who are on the Sydney Shineberg deluxe level. Patreon, rest in peace section of our Patreon. And they get to give us a fact, a quote, or a question.

Also get to give us a title. And this week, I'd love to say, thank Katarina Gutare Guterez, Gutare. Dave,

where are we looking? Katarina. Gutierrez? Gutierrez? Gutierrez. Okay, that's way different

to what I said. Thank you so much Katarina, who has called herself the CEO of Jess Perkins Industries.

Oh, interesting. Oh, you were bought out early. Yeah, thank you for assuming I was bored out. I would agree. Or I sold.

doesn't mean you've sold out. You've just got someone who's running the corporate. I love that because, you know, I do like admin, but only to a certain degree. I reckon you were bought out. For a lot, though? Yeah, heaps. Like in the dot-com bubble. So am I, like, very wealthy now?

Extremely. Oh, that's all right. Yeah, go for it. Yeah, good luck running Jess Perkins Industries without me. What are you selling? Jess Perkinses? There's only one. And she just sold.

And Katerina has chosen a question, which is one of the options. which is one of the options in the fact quote or question section. And her question is... Is that off time? That's off time. And like always, I haven't read these ahead of time. So it's fun for all of us. And Katerina writes,

I have a question for each of you. Roop. Yes. This one goes to you. Are these quick fire, do you think? Hands on buzzers. Okay. Okay, great.

Bob. Yes. Ding. Your names are your buzzers. Okay. First to buzz in. Is my buzzer bop, though? Yeah.

And this one is a question to you. Great. So, Yes. Buzzing. Bup. Okay, this question for you, Bop. Bop.

Would you rather have all numbers in your life end in odds, i.e. 53 instead of 55 or 50, or I mean, every time you, oh, this is a, would you rather? By the way, I don't know if they're all going to be, would you rather others, but this one is, would you rather all the numbers in your life end in odds, i.e. 53 instead of 55 or 50 or every time you get sick, your sneezes sound like a duck. quacking. Ah, sneezes 100%. That sounds adorable.

Yeah. Which is your brand. Exactly. Quack. Whack. What, somebody's step on a dock? It'll just be me. It's one of my favorite.

I mean, I get sick a bit. Yeah. But not sneeze, sneeze. It's not sneeze. I get like throat infections or, you know, gout. Every time you swallow it sounds like a duck. You've got a gout.

Say, that was easy for you. big time. And we have to go, bless you. Yeah, you do. And nobody's allowed to tease me for it. No, it'd be cute. A little duck. That's so cute.

Oh, that's good. I wish it was like that. I'm going to try doing that now. Quack, because I'm inside. Yeah, and so cute. After playing Untitled Goose game, now around my house, I just honk sometimes. It's fun.

Honk. Honk. Katerina asks me. You got to buzz in. Matt. Oh, I'll feel this one. Would you rather. never be able to watch a Saints game again or have Gary Indiana ban you from visiting for life.

Oh, that's a harder one. Bops was easier. Never be able to watch. So you can't even attend. Can't even watch it on the telly. I feel like that's going to happen to you more. Yeah, you watch that weekly. Because I mean, I've lived my life to this point without having visited Gary, Indiana. Yeah. I don't like this world. You've created Catarina. No, but I think there's an obvious solution. So Gary, Indiana. So I could be, I could stand outside of Gary, Indiana.

You could get a forward. I could still watch Gary Indiana on TV. Yeah, exactly. You could watch the Rale Cats on TV. Yeah, so I could get a friend to go in there with some sort of a 3D camera, put on a VR headset. Yes. And live virtually in Gary. Yes.

I would do that for you. But I would never be able to do that for a Saints game. Exactly. So I think I'd have to say, and it breaks my heart too, say it, but I'd have to take. the banning from Gary, Indiana. Yep. But I wouldn't change. I mean, honestly.

It's a tough choice. Tough choice. Of course. And I would not choose to live in that world. No. And finally, Dave. All right, hand on buzzer. Buzz in.

Would you rather lose the ability to read? Yes. I'm just buzzing in. Yeah, well, you've buzzed in. You don't get to hear the end of the question now. So, answer the question. Answer the question. A or B.

Uh, B. No, let's hear the options. Okay. A, would you rather lose the ability to read? but you've chosen, B, gain a Lisp, too difficult to understand on podcast. Please give us an example of what this sounds like. Yes. No, too difficult, we can understand that.

I can understand you. No. Okay, it's just going to be this and. And that's the option you've chosen? You want to sound like that. Because that's the end of our podcast. Yeah, but then he can read. But if I can't read, we can't do it.

I just can't report anymore. Oh, yeah. But you can't, you also can't contribute jokes. Uh, yes. You can contribute well-timed. And actually he ends up absolutely killing. Like, he's so much funnier than us. Really, really.

That's another tough one, but I reckon. And the beauty is it means that he still gets to write reports. Yes, he can write them and we'll read them. We'll just read him. That is a great scenario. Yeah, it's so good. Right, I pick that option. Thanks so much, Katerina.

How did we cut his tongue out? For supporting. us here on the Patreon. Yeah, I'm like, hung. And secondly, I'd love to thank Travis Alexander, who has given himself the title of the only Travis in the world. Oh, I reckon. I reckon.

I reckon it is. I don't know any others. The band who sang about what does it always rain on him. And also, flowers in the window. And also, what about Travis Barker from Blink 182? And what about Travis from my work? Yeah, and what about... He's nice.

Travis Alexander. Oh no, that's him. That's the only Travis. That's the only Travis. I think all those travisers are the same Travis. Yeah, same guy. Ah, there you go. Travis Alexander, now of a sudden,

you've done all the things that Travis have done are under your umbrella. Congrats. It's also a lot of responsibility. I hope no Travis has done anything bad. You know? Hope we don't have like a Travis-like Hitler man. Oh, fuck, that's so good. Is it?

Yes. Yes, that's so good. We've been in England for too long. We love puns now. We're half a day. Half a day and we're already punny mad. And Travis has given us a fact. I love a fact.

We love facts here. I'll decide if it's fun. And he has written, I've shared this on the Patreon Facebook page before. Ah, so I've probably already seen it. So it's probably not that interesting, then, is it? Well, let's find out together. Worth sharing twice, there might be.

Yeah. He writes, I discovered not long after the episode came out that I have a somewhat interesting tie to the Axeman of New Orleans. I was going to say ancestor. My ancestor, bracket, first cousin,

comma, four times removed, according to ancestry.com. Oh no, he's given his DNA to Ancestry.com. That means you should never serial kill. Yeah, that's like, I will find you. They'll find you easy. There's other reasons why you shouldn't serial kill.

That's the main one though. But that is the new main one. He says, this ancestor was the head surgeon who treated a few of the Axeman's victims. His name was Dr. Jerome E. Landry. And he seemed to be very well known and liked by everyone.

Ancestry.com tells you whether people are liked or not. Your great-great-uncle is a real dick. It gives him a rating out of a bunch of things. I'm imagining that he found out this guy's name and he's researched him further and he's found his Facebook profile. Ancestry.com's really up their game. Wow. I can't get comfortable where we are.

I'm just moving around a lot. In fantasy, you are on the floor and we are both on a couch. Yeah, that's true. But that was my decision. Travis, that is a fun fact. That is interesting. so interesting how cool what a good tie to have and how annoying to find out a serial killer factor now not be able to serial kill because yeah uh the grandest irony oh dear

dear me tromas the cruel cruel irony yes so um for the people still listening we uh i think we mentioned on a reason episode this video that is as long been viral at least in australia about a man who was only trying to eat a succulent Chinese meal. Meal! And we've been saying it over and over to each other. Ah, yes. I see you know your judo. And you know what?

When you're traveling with people, let alone working and doing shows together, there's a lot of communicating. Can you please make sure you have the tech bag or, don't worry, I've got this thing that we need for our show. There's a lot of instances where you can say, Yes to things. But we don't do that anymore. We say,

Ah, yes. And also whenever someone says, you're under arrest, we say, I'm under what? I'm under what? You try to receive my limp penis? Every meal has become succulent.

Let me tell you. As the food, everything has become succulent. So succulent. Succulate Chinese meal. I see you know your judo well. Oh, we're losing it. As food is delivered to the table?

Ah, yes. Democracy manifest. Watch the video. Stop this right now. It's way better than anything I'll ever say. You don't have to Google succulent Chinese meal. Yeah, it will come up for you. An Australian hero.

Without knowing enough about his life. Hopefully you didn't do anything too fucking. I think the backstory is he's being arrested there because he was trying to, what some people call, Dyn and Dash, where you skip the restaurant before one. You were surprised when I called that. Exactly. That's such an affluent east way of saying. Where I came from, it was called Doing a Runner. My dad still jokes about that.

I dine and dash. Ah, yes. My dad will still do that if you have dinner with the family. You're like, you'll look at everyone's shoes. And be like, oh, yep, all right, we got running shoes on. That's good. That's a good bit. John Perkinsy, old dog.

Salty old dog. Salty dog. Anyway, let's thank some people. Let's take a few patrons. Do we have a little game? Something Irish. So we had Bono, we had the thief, the painting thief. Hugh Lane.

And we had the River of Whiskey Fire. Anything there? Getting you excited. What about, you know how Bono had different U-2 characters? Yeah, great. Oh, perfect. Mirabal, man. We give them a Bono persona.

Yeah, great. El Mcfeast. What else was it? It wasn't El Mcfeast. No. Mondefeast? Was it just McFistoe? Was it just McFistow?

Or not? McFistow. McFistow. It's kind of put Mirabour Man. I know. It's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Okay, yeah, we'll give him characters. McFistow.

So bad. We'll give him character. That's a great idea. Him having to tell the edge. Oh, no. Tonight I'll be Mirable man. And the edge being like, whatever, Paul. And he's like, my nickname is The Edge and that's, and even I know that's fucking dumb.

Yeah. Mine's The Edge. What a, anyway. There's something real great about the name of The Edge, though. What do you think Bono calls the Edge? Does he say Edge? Yeah, he calls it. Edge is here.

Yeah. A Edge. Edge is running five minutes late. Yeah, putting Thee in front of a nickname is weird, isn't it? Yeah. Well, how many edges do you know? Oh, fuck. Good point.

edge. I'd love to think if I could kick things off from Harrisonburg in VA, which I'd like to think of as Virginia. Yeah, Harrisonburg, Virginia. Amazing. And I would love to thank from that particular burg, Zachary J. Dobran. Oh, Zach Dobran. Zach Dobran. Fantastic name. And his character is. Bobby the elf And everyone's like Bono

That's kind of copyrighted That's already a thing He's like no no no It's different Because what it is It's called a house elf Right So I'm like a servant

But if you give me a sock That releases me Yes Bono This is ripped entirely Word for word from Harry Potter I'm not a house elf then I'm a beach house elf I got a surfboard under my

hand And my stepdad is Sandy Cohen Is that It's always the OC with you, isn't it? Yes, it is always the OC with me. How dare you? No, I'm saying, I was just checking. Ah, yes.

Thank you so much, Zachary Dobran, aka Dobby, the beach house elf. Perfect. And I hope you are using your relationship with Sandy Cohen well, because you know what? If you get yourself in a bind, he's going to be there for you. And that doesn't matter what kind of bind it is.

if it's legal, yeah, he's done law, and he knows what's going on. Maybe he serves in the morning, but in the afternoon, he's getting boys out of trouble. And boy, if you're in trouble, don't be afraid to knock on Sandy's door. If you're wondering,

how do I smear cottage cheese on a bagel? Yeah, you better believe Sandy Cohen's a man to go to. And there's so many other scenarios where he can help, but they're two of the ones that just came Top of mind, Zachary Dobby Dobran. I'd also love to thank from Baltimore MD. Oh, medical doctor. Oh, wow.

What does that mean? Midasota? Midasota? No, Maryland. Yeah. Could it be? Yeah, Maryland. Maryland.

I'd love to thank from Baltimore, Maryland, Shababhater. Oh, hang on, that's his surname. Shams Shababhater. Fuck, is this the new best name of all time? Shams Shababhater. Holy fuck. His first name is Shams. Shams.

Shams. Shababhater. Shams Shababhater. Shams Shababeder. That's like the print song, Cream has a line in it that says, cream, no, it's quite different actually. Cream Shibuggy Bob.

It's pretty different now that I think about it, the Shams Shababab Hater. But I reckon if you were creative enough, you could fit that in that melody. Well, you're a creative as Bono. I reckon that his character is cream. Just cream or cream boy. I brought some cream.

That's the character. It's always brought cream. No matter what the scenario. Want some cream with that? And he's offended if they say no. It's like, oh, chicken nuggets, I've got cream. No thanks, Bono. You don't want cream on your nuggets.

No, I don't want cream, Oh, cream's not good enough for you. I'm sorry, sorry the cream let you down again. I'm so sorry. Why don't I go chuck myself back in the fridge where I live? Oh, I'm cream. I'm cream born. And Larry Mellon's Jr's just like, oh, for fuck's sake, Bono.

Just sing Sunday, bloody Sunday. Fucking hell. Oh my god I was so tired Did somebody order a mechanic Is your car broken down Because I've got the answer It's cream

I got cream for all Honestly mate We're running really late We need to get RACV on the line Or some other roadside assistance Depending on where I am in MD It's probably MD CV

CB What's the C4 Car vehicle. Royal auto car vehicle, is that what it is? It's for Victoria, the state we live in. Royal Auto Car Victoria. Is that it? Royal Auto Cream Victoria.

Oh, no. Put this in your gas state, that will get you going. Shams, Shabhater. I don't know if I've ever heard a better name than that. I'm going to see it written down. Shams Shababhater. fuck. That is so good.

Thank you so much Shams. Thank you Shams. A.K. Kreme. Dave, would you like to thank some people as well? Please. I don't. I mean, it's a hard act to follow. I know.

Oh, great. One of my all-time favorite names coming up right here. Here we go. Keith. Oh, yes. I would love to thank Keith Barnes. Oh, Barnsie. Whoa, any relation to Jimmy?

Oh, maybe. The screaming cowboy slash working class man himself. Well, recently. we did the report on Jimmy Barnes and then we posted about it and there was a comment from someone of the surname Barnes saying I hear this guy's got a great name

this could have been Keith Barnes Keith Barnes Keith is a great name and Keith is writing in or supporting us from Sacramento California Sacramento the Kings Kings and also

the capital Kings Country yeah Sacramento the capital of California so I guess So have I done one of these yet? All right. King something.

Okay. Yeah, I think. All right. Bono character. I got to think real good and fun and... Yeah. Okay. And also commenting on political situations.

Yeah. What was the Mick Fister? I was sort of trying to make fun of... The devil. Oh, okay. Mirrorball man was a... The devil's been ripe for ridicule for so long and no one's taken that. No one's done.

No one's been brave enough. And was Mirabour Man just holding a mirror up to society. Mirabour Man was the one that was about... It was televangelist preachers, car salesman, and something else. Bonner's been burnt in the past. Yeah, big time. I was trying to buy a Honda. All right, Matt King.

So King, all right, who are we going to take down? Someone as big as some sort, you know, because you think of like the sacred cows of society. You think car salesmen, tele evangelists. And of course, donkey breeders. What's his name, King Donkey? King ass. King ass. I think I may have read your mind a little bit then because I was thinking donkey.

Really? Yes. We are in sync. We're so in sync. We're more in sync than Justin Tim Blake and one of the other members. Lance Bass. Oh, nice one. Which is a homonym for bass.

Is that right? Or is a homophobe or the other one? That's not a homophobe. What are the other ones? This has got more of a loose feel of a Patreon episode than it does. I forget this is going out publicly. Oh, yeah. We should play homonym.

Homonym. Homonym. Yes, hello. Thank you for joining us on our podcast. So, King ass, wasn't it very good. King ass. King ass. Keith Barnes, aka King ass.

Holding a mirror up to society there. Taking down the people that need to be taken down. Good on your Keith. Yes. Well done, Keith. On your Keith. Let me thank another person now. All the way from Morphit Vale, South Australia,

Benjamin Dragovelich. Benjamin Dragovolich. Yes. Dragovelich. Dragovelic. So close to having the word dragon in your name. Yeah. Dragons in there.

Yeah. Where are you taking that? Puff. Oh, yeah. What about, um, den? Because they have that show. Dragon's Dan. But Den, it's just someone who keeps everything in the den.

Okay. What does that mean? Everything's in the den. So everything else, every other room of their house is empty. Empty, everything's in the den. They're a hoarder, but only in the den. Real niche. So the rest of the house is quite neat?

Yeah, absolutely. Or completely empty? No, completely empty. Okay, but neat. Everything's in the den. There's nothing neater than empty. And that is holding a mirror up to society about consumerism. Oh, that's good.

Denny. Denny. Denny. Denny. The character is Denny, but then they hide everything in the den. That's so good. Is it? Is it?

No, no, you've done it again. Is it so good or is it past midnight and we're tired? Cream and den. They do not see either way. Would you like some cream? Not in the den. Everything, anything goes in there except cream. But what about this bit of cream?

No cream. Watching Dave. It's like one's food full. But this bit of cream? He changes his whole physical. Yeah, it's amazing watching it. That's a man who's done drama in high school. And university.

What? Yeah, it was a waste of money. What? You did drama and what? I'm under what? Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Benjamin. All right, I'm going to bring it home now.

Okay, Danny. Here we go. From Preston in Great Britain, which we drove through or passed today. It's crazy. Maybe we even met this person last night because there was two people from Preston. Alex Dunhill. Oh, Dunney. Okay, Alex Dunnell.

Alex Dunnell. That's probably how Alex says it. Alex. Hello, I'm Alex Dunnell. Oh, I've got an appointment. My name's Alex Donald. Okay, you went late in a Terminator there, but... How so?

Oh, in the way it sounded. Oh, I thought you meant the way I was standing. Of physicality. Just thought, yeah, the present. Alex. Alex. Donald. Donald.

Donald. Donald. Preston. So sorry, Alex. All right. I reckon he's going to be called. Or she. He or she is going to be satirizing.

Modern cultures need to be buff and vain and all that sort of stuff. Oh yeah. Today we saw a sign with a dog on it and the dog was so ripped. It was ripped. It was a ripped dog. It was dangerous. That was a scary. looking dog.

So this character obviously is called Dumbbell. Yes. So you wouldn't have got there had I not done the accent. Yeah, I think that was it. And is it spelled dumb hyphen bell? Yeah. Let's try and really hammer it home.

Oh, what about Idiot Bell? Yes. Idiot Dumbel. Yeah. I think that's great. First name idiot surname Dumbel. And they like wears a muscle suit on stage. Yep.

And it's all greased up. Yeah. And always doing curls. Yes. We're doing curls with the edge. Yeah. He's curling the edge. So somehow the muscle suit makes him mussely.

Yeah, well, he's curling the edge, his hair. And that's the reason he has to wear that stupid beanie. Oh, that's. Yes. Because he's got curly hair under there. That is good stuff. That's great stuff. You nailed it, Dave.

Bono is constantly curling his hair. While he sleeps. He just curls it. So he wakes up, he's like, God damn it, Bono. With each one of these, I think we've lost it a little more than the last. Well, let's go again. Oh, we got one to go. One more.

So I would like to thank, from home, Melbourne. You're going to make me cry. We've been away for a week. We've been a week. Have we been, is it even been a whole week? Tomorrow it'll be a week. It's been 16. But this person is still back in our home city looking after it for us.

Thank you so much. thank. Tom Mitchell. Tom Mitchell. Tom Mitchell. Thank you so much, Tom. You goddamn legend. That is my best friend from high school. What?

And still best friend, who is the lead singer of Weed Hornet. Oh. I like how you said and still best friend. Well, you know, it sounded like that we had to fallen away or something. Yeah. And I did know Tom listened to the show. I didn't know he was on Patreon. Thank you so much, Tom.

Did you know he's been on Patreon for about a year? Thanks, Tom. What a guy. Does Tom have a nickname? Lankmaster. Oh, that sounds Bono-S. Yeah. Where's that going from?

That does feel a little... What's Lank, what was he having to go at there? About society and how gangly and lanky it was when Tom was 14. The gangly arm of economics. Yeah. Uh, yes. How society, you know, it's the invisible hand, the gangly invisible hand of economics. And that's why we call him, what, gangmaster?

Lankmaster. Lankmaster. His email involved Lankmaster in early high school. Just because he was six foot four and very thin and lanky at the time. Lanky kid, yeah. Okay. There you go. Bonner's character is Lankmaster.

What a tribute. And he wears like really long arms? Yeah, they're dragging along the stage. Yeah. Like the Monty Python characters are fishy, fishy. Yes. Or the Auntie Donna character. Yes.

Touchy Tim. Something like that. Or the Mighty Bush character with a really long arms. Okay, so it's been done. I always gets my man. It's been done. Oh, I don't know if Bono. We don't have any creative ideas.

We don't necessarily against doing things that have been done. No, but I am. Okay. And we should have done better there. Not that I think anyone had previously done Mirable, man. Yeah, good point. That's original. No one ever has done it since.

That's an original idea. What about cream? Has anyone done cream? No, they wouldn't dream of it. Cream boy. Oh, that is very good stuff. Do you think Tom will mind that we've just given him his already existing nickname? I think it's been a while since anyone's probably called him, like, Master.

And for Bono to be doing it as a tribute. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. What an honor. Congratulations to you, Tom. and thank you so much for being involved. It's wild to me that the singer from Weed Hornets listens, let alone supports this show.

It's a thrill. And if you want to join Tom Mitchell, aka the Lankmaster, on Patreon, supporting us there, you can do it at patreon.com slash dig on pod. And maybe we'll talk some real dumb bullshit about you in a future week. Probably.

Probably not this dumb, though. This feels like we've ever done. It does seem like the weirdest. Yeah. But also it's been fun. It's been a lot of fun. I've loved a lot. That pretty much brings us the end of the show.

Yeah. But yeah, as just said at the start of the show, if you are keen to come see us and you're in, I think Bristol's already sold out, but we have a handful of tickets left in London for my stand-up show on the 7th. And one of our shows on the A? The afternoon shows,

got a few tickets left. So you can get those at do go on pod.com. And also Birmingham the next night. final show of the tour, which is the ninth. Oh yes, come see us off in Birmingham. That would be really cool at the Glee Club there. That's a really cool venue. You should definitely come check it out.

We're excited. It's been so fun, but it's flashing before our eyes. Yeah. Yeah, I guess, apart from that, just find us on social media and everything. It do go on pod. That's on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and at gmail.com or dot com for our website. And yeah, anything else we need a thing? Uh, yes.

Ah yes. It's democracy manifest. I'm under what? Do yourself if I watch that video. And until next week, I would always love to say to you, oh, let's get ready. Later. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, okay, got to go, bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there.

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