Do Go On - 216 - The Stone of Scone Heist and Other Festive Tales

Episode Date: December 11, 2019

It's time for the annual Christmas special! Recorded live in London, we each did a mini report on a Christmas topic. Let the festivities begin!Buy tickets to our live shows here: https://dogoonpod.com/events/Our website: dogoonpod.comSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasReferences and Further Reading:Santa Claus, Indianahttps://santaclausind.org/the-story-of-santa-claus-indiana/https://santaclausind.org/54-things-to-do/https://www.holidayworld.com/holiblog/2018/10/11/park-history-santa-claus-land-holiday-world/https://visitindiana.com/trip-ideas/9943-christmas-in-santa-claushttps://www.britannica.com/place/Santa-Claus-Indianahttps://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/11443https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5l6q00Y5gw Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. This week's episode of Do Go On is brought to you by me, Matt Stewart, and my show is coming up in Hobart at the Fringe at the end of the World Festival on the 9th and 10th of January. And you can get tickets for that via Matt Stewartcomcom as well as the Brisbane Comedy Festival in March.

from the 10th to the 15th. And you can get tickets to that at matchewordy.com with the discount code podcast. It's pretty cool. Anyway, on the show. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go One. My name is Dave Warnocky and I'm sitting here for this little introduction

with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello. Sorry, actually, we're in England, so we should give a proper English greeting. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Now, are the two of you feeling pretty Christmasy this week? Oh, the bells are jing jingling, and I'm ring wring-a-ding-a-ding. I'm ting-ting-ing. I've got to go see a doctor. I can't believe we're experiencing Christmas in the wintertime, sort of. Well, pre-Christmas in the pre-winter time. That's right.

It's, oh, man, then how to do Christmas here, don't they? With the lights. I love it. The camera of the action. Yeah. It's Hollywood on the Gold Coast all over again. No, it is it? I mean, it's got very little to do with it.

None, in fact, nothing to do with it. But no, there are Santa's and lights and stuff everywhere all over England, and in Dublin when we were there as well, very Christmas-y, so we appreciate that. And Scotland. Oh, yes, they now had a Christmas up there. And by the time we get home, it'll be very Christmassy in Melbourne. Yeah.

Yes, I don't know if... You'll see. Now that I'm a British-Sash-Irish Christmaser, I don't know if I'm going to be able to handle this summery Christmas. I like it like we do up here, traditionally. Yeah. like the real Christmas. Yeah.

Just how Santa intended. Yeah. Damn, right. Now, so what you're about to hear is actually our annual Kishmish special episode recorded live in London. Thank you so much, everyone that did come along and spread the Christmas cheer. Oh, what a cheerful time. Huge shows, lovely energy. We had a wonderful time.

Good looking people. Oh, my God, the people. How do we do that? How do we attract such hotties? We attract such attractive people. I think it's just because... Opposites attract. Yep.

Wow, I was really going to... You're going to go the opposite. Yeah, it was, just for once. Yeah, I thought I was with you, Jess, until Matt came out with the truth, and it was funny and yet painful. Yeah. Those things always are. Yeah. Anyway...

That's not the thing. So, from these uggos to you, beautiful people. So hot. So hot. You're listening to this. You're hot. As a rule, you're hot. It's not, that's not what defines you.

No. It's not the most important. important thing about you. Certainly not. But it's an absolute bonus. Yeah. You've got an amazing personality. You're smart.

But it's just wrapped in sex appeal. Yeah, in a hot bow. You're a gift wrapped in a sexy bow. That's like pass-the-passel. So many layers. But they're all good. They're all good. There's a gift in each layer.

Yeah. What's it going to be? Who knows? What's it going to be? It'll be something great, though. Something sexy. Something sexy? Something cool.

Yeah. Something crazy. Cool. sexy crazy. Anyway, we should let them listen to the show. That's right. So what you're about to hear is the live episode and we'll be back at the end

with our famous Patreon read. Our thank you is to some of the people that support the show on Patreon. But until then, enjoy this episode. Recorded live in London and let's say, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Why, you there, boy.

What day is it today? Why, it's Christmas Day? Oh, fucking hell. Well, then we should be out there. doing a podcast for Christmas. Please make welcome to the stage as Matt as a day from Dugo. London, Chris Mish, how you doing?

Someone got me a water, okay, subtle hints there. They must mean here at the first show. Well, fuck you. Yeah, Tom. Sorry, did I ask you to get me that? Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for that. Do we need to get Jess this backup microphone? Yeah, maybe. I'll be back. Ah, yes. All part of the plan. I sabotage, Jess. Hey.

How about this one? All right, yeah. Why don't you stand and tell me all about... Oh, no. Oh, no. She's regained her power. Yeah, fuck her. Oh, no, she's back.

She's back. Oh, my goodness. So great to see you all here on this. special day of days. The Christmas Smash Show! So exciting. This is our third

annual live Christmas show. The first one, obviously, in Brisbane, which is like the London of Australia. The second one was in London, which is like

the London of America. And then this year, we're doing one for the first time in London, which is like the London of the place we're in, right? You pumped up?

You pumped up? with Christmas joy. To each and all, good night. Yeah, it didn't quite nail that. To each and all, good night. I've gone early there, I think.

No, we also like to be here. This is a very Christmasy country, I've got to say. Last night, Jess and I, Matt went, we saw Matt do his stand-up show, some of you may have been there. And then afterwards, Matt went to see a fantastic comedian, Stuart Lee. and whilst you were doing that, Jess and I went on a little date

where we went and saw some Christmas lights here. Yeah, it was cute as shit. What a beautiful city for Christmas lights. Honestly, the vibe was nicer with just us. It's bizarre to me that that surprises you. We should do that more, Dave. Yes, it was so, so nice. I'm trying really hard enough to be an asshole, so...

And it's tough. It is tough when you tease me like this. I know, sorry. I'm just tempting you No we do have a nice one But yeah they do Christmas well here don't they They do it well Yes and you also do festive

Bakes at Greggs quite well You know just so Has London become a Gregs town I thought you were pruddy pussies I had a turkey and ham sandwich from Pret as well I love them all Love them all So you're a pretty pussy

100% Pretty pussy is funny I didn't get how funny what I said was until Jess said it She added a certain How do you say? Jealous a qua Now we are here for the Kishme special

Give us a round of applause If you were at our earlier show But an hour ago Thank you This front section Yeah Can I just say the rest of you missed Some pretty hot stuff

Pretty pretty sexy But you are here in time for the Christmas special. So just to meet everyone as a crowd, give me a round of applause if you've ever heard our show before. It is a genuine relief every time.

One day it'll be the other way around and we'll go, okay. Yeah, what would they be doing here, though? Admin error. Yeah, definitely. I think they're at some sort of convention. Give us round of applause the other end of the scale.

If you've never heard this show before, a few people. Always tentative. There's always people. pointing to this idiot it's like they're not an idiot they're just

an idiot yeah they're uneducated also known as an idiot no thank you so much we're being here for the first ever time you've come at the most wonderful time of the year for a christmas special

what we do here at the show is not be close to each other at all as you can see and we take it in terms to report on a topic often suggested by a listener of the show and because it is our Chris Me special we have decided to each do a mini topic

on the subject of something Christmasy. And I believe Matthew Stewart, you have elected to go first. Yeah, I'm unofficially the most Christmassy of the three. And officially. Oh, officially.

But I am the festive boy. Festive boy. All right. But he actually doesn't give a fuck about it. I love Christmas. Baby Jesus is my best friend. Weird because you're an old man. Um, this baby is my best friend.

And they're like... You, I knew you wouldn't understand. Are you the only one older than Jesus? Jesus is but a boy to you. But a boy. He was always a boy to you. Yes. Baby Jesus was always a boy to me.

Obviously. Yeah, it felt weird coming out of my face too. There you go. All right, so if you don't know the show, we get on the topic with a question. So my question is to you too, and if they don't get it, maybe you can help them out, because they won't get it. I reckon I'm feeling pretty Christmishy. Okay.

What American town in Indiana is Christmassy by name and by nature? Christmasville. Close-ish? Gary. Gary is a beautiful subject. Gary Christmas. Gary is a very festive town as well, we're here. Lots of a festive town.

murders, we've been told. It's the festive murder capital. And also the rest of the year. Yeah, that's right. They just sort of spin that as their tourism slogan. So the name of this town is very Christmassy. Yes, it is. It is Santa Claus, Indiana.

There's a place called Santa Claus? Yes, in our hearts it does exist. And also... Are you alright? You love it. All right. That's how I express love too.

Every morning I roll over and I see my beautiful partner and I go, Ah! And then he wakes up also screaming. But not out of love. Just terror. Just terror. So Santa Claus is the actual name of this place. Santa Claus Indiana.

Awesome. Real place. Let me tell you about it. Please. This topic was suggested by Michelle Acevedo from Brisbane, Australia. Ah, that's where we're from. She's a stand-up comedian. She handled it.

delivered this suggestion to my Facebook inbox. Alright. I realised half I threw that what I was saying was a lie, but I think I saved it. So in the 1850s, Santa Fe, Indiana, was a small farming settlement of German immigrants. It grew to the size where they could apply for a post office and their application included the name Santa Fe,

which is what they were known as at the time, which I probably said twice already. You have to apply to get a post office? Apparently back in the day. Where do you fill that application? Just head down to your local post-up... Oh. Oh dear.

Unfortunately for them, their application was rejected as there was already another Indianan town of Santa Fe, a few miles away. They didn't. They didn't know. They didn't know a post office. How do they know anything? According to local legend, which apparently is a myth,

myth, but anyway, the town had a meeting to come up with a new name, and as told on the town's website, quote, it was a cold December night in this small rural area. The townsfolk were gathered in a small log church. Is that where they pray

to logs? We worship log. Blessed be they log. Baby log is my best friend. Several names were tossed around. but nothing seemed to be the right fit. Children were running around playing while the adults were in deep discussion about the name.

The children weren't taking the discussion seriously. I know. Little shit. Unbelievable. Suddenly a gust of wind blew open the church doors and the sound of sleigh bells drifted inside. I reckon this happened. The children ran to the door and shouted,

Santa calls, Santa Claus. And that's the town's origin story. They went, oh yes, Santa Claus. Interesting. So they applied for a post office again with the name of Santa Claus, and this time they were accepted. On May 21st, 1856. Good year. Thank you.

Almost as soon as the new post office was set up, they started receiving children's letters addressed to Santa Claus. Oh, that's not where he is. That's not going to get to him. Oh, no. Oh, Matt, what's going to happen? To the letters. So it was in 1856.

I think they just put him in a bin. No. It's probably a big bin as well. Big sack Many decades later In 1914 They went in a bit of a different direction When the town's 14th postmaster

James Martin started responding to some of the mail As Santa So decades went by and people kept sending it No one thought of that No What a pain in the ass Is this guy responding to every letter as Santa So you send a letter to your wife

And he just writes back Hello, Mary. It's Santa here. What the fuck? It became a big tradition in the town with James Martin. He'd spend a lot of time each year with helpers replying to these letters as Santa. And in 1930, Robert Ripley, from Ripley's Believe It or Not, featured the town and James Martin in a story.

And this led to an increase in mail received by the town. Do you believe it? Or not. That one's pretty believable, I reckon. There's a guy in this town who's replying the letters of Santa. Believe it or not. I believe it. I believe that.

In 1935, the Curtis Candy Company supported and sponsored the town's first themed attraction called Santa's Candy Castle. This site was called Santa Claus Town and also included a toy. village. Santa Claus Town. They couldn't think of anything better. That was a committee who came up with that, I reckon. Santa Claus Town. According to the YouTube channel Defundland, a man named Milton Harris came up with this idea and he leased the land to set it all up. His thought

was to create a place where kids could play while their parents bought gifts. The spirit of Christmas. Despite the town's population of less than 100 people, over 7,000 people turned up for the park's opening. Oh, wow. They was that, like, 70 times? Is that 70 times? What was the numbers again? 7,000 turned up to a town of 100.

Seventy times, 70 times. I fucking got it. I won't let everyone know that I was trying to go for a comically wrong answer. I accidentally stumbled on the correct one. Did you almost fall off the stage? Yeah, yeah, I nearly fell. That's why I was distracted because I nearly died.

No biggie. Mate, could you be a little more professional things? Sorry, sorry. Even if you're about to die. Get in the game. Yeah, okay. I'll die with a smile on my face. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, I know what smiling looks like, okay? Harris wasn't the only one who had thought to cash in on the town's name, though. That same year, businessman Carl Barrett built a 22-foot statue of Santa Claus, as well as what he called the Santa Claus Park, which was like a Santa Claus Park. on top of this he also bought the land that Harris was leasing basically attempting to kill up his competition so he sort of bought the land from underneath

the competitor that was clear I just said it again no no regret there sir I stand by everything I've said so far they're desperate for it though like come on let us say it I want to say it too You can't. You can't.

I've tried to regret it in the mirror and I can't do it. This led to lengthy legal action, which would last for years, with each man trying to stop the other from running a Christmas theme park and thus giving the winner a monopoly. In the meantime, both men ran their individual Santa Claus attractions, one under the name Santa Claus Inc. The other. It really took me by surprise.

So he made his trademark laugh. You know, classic Dave. One man named his Santa Claus Inc. The other name his Santa Claus of Santa Claus Inc. There's so many names. Yeah, that's shit. In 1940, the Supreme Court of Indiana handed down its judgment, which led to both men being able to keep running their paths,

basically meaning both men, one, which also meant both men lost. And they wasted the Supreme Court's time, talking about that. Yeah. I own Christmas. Nah, you don't. In 1941, America joined the Second World War, bringing a halt to the momentum of both men's theme parts.

The only victim of World War II. It was a tough time for Sun. Two men. Two men. That same year, a man named Lewis J. Koch. Or Koch. Koch.

K-O-C-H. Cock? Cough. Yeah, cock. No, he was just calling you a cop. It's Koch. It's cock. That same year, a man named

Louis J. Koch from Evansville, Indiana, visited the town and was disappointed to find that there wasn't a Santa Claus in Santa Claus for the visiting children to sit on the knee-og. None of them thought to have a Santa Claus there. What are they doing in the Santa Claus ink? Santa Claus Inc. Santa Claus was implied.

But it was not present. They had a huge statue, one of them, of a Santa Claus, but no man in a suit. What? Yeah. Santa Claus had some helpers, and they dress up in some towns, but he's definitely real.

Just last week, I got the Facebook anniversary 10 years since I first ever dressed up as Santa for Christmas. Oh, can you quickly tell that story? It's fucking so sad. The question is, which one? I think just the fact that Dave was a Santa Claus is sad enough. 10 years younger was 10 years younger than this, I was Santa Claus.

Why? They didn't have a suit big enough, small enough for you. Oh, yeah. The year after, I did it two Christmases in a row, and they only had the extra large Santa suit. And I usually wore the extra small Santa suit. When I got to the Christmas party, my pants fell down. And then, at the end, they refused to pay.

I wonder why. Because Santa had his dick out. Because Santa had his Louis J. Cocker. Oh, good memories, good memories. Love Christmas, love it. I remember it being sad, but I forgot your pants fell down. It's brutal, man. Sorry to bring that up in public.

Thank you. So, Cock came to town, and he... Are you still talking about me at the party, or... He was disappointed in find there was no Santa. This disappointment led to Cock being the third businessman to set up a Santa Claus based... in Santa Claus Indiana, a town with 100 people

100 people but three Santa Claus theme park he bought 260 acres of farmland and though his plans were also slowed by the war so a third victim About time On August the 3rd

1946 his dream became a reality when Santa Claus land opened which is different of the other names I forget how but it is It was Santa Claus Town and I don't remember the other Santa Claus Park Santa Claus Inc.

Yeah, well this one's Santa Claus Land That sounds good I'd go there And I'd pull my pants up It was a horrible moment For all of us Mostly the children But

So we bought the land He opened Santa Claus land But arguably This became the first themed amusement park in the world there were obviously already theme parks there were already amusement parks

but this and it says it on its website and others this was the first themed amusement part finally brought the two together it was pre-Disneyland and those sort of things and you're a killjoy

fuck off it's Christmas I thought just quickly it why am I wrong reasons That's hard to argue with that. Oh, big man. The guy behind he's doing this. I'm so confused.

But I believe I won that battle and it feels good. Any other challenges? When the park opened, attractions included a miniature circus, a house of dolls, a restaurant, and, most importantly, Santa Claus himself. Oh my God, they got the real one. And you could visit you. him all year round.

It was a 12-month-a-year theme park called Santa Clausland. You can go visit him in February or whatever that month's called. It's a brutal one to say out loud. Why did I choose it? I should have gone March. I can say that. April. April's fine. June. June.

I can do May, July. The only one, if I'm being honest, that I cannot say confidently is February. So how the fuck did I land on anyway? According to Menelfloss.com, the park Santa was, quote, played by a man named Jim Yellick

for close to four decades. Yelig earned a spot in the real thing, International Santa Claus Hall of Fame. I'm in there, I'm in there. Shame. He was included for his trusty portrayal of the Portly celebrity and is thought to have had

over a million kids sit on his knee during his tenure. Beat that day. I really hope that you can't beat that day. It's more of a pants-on job that one. In 1955, the park continued to evolve, adding a new area of the park called the Pleasureland Ride Section. I'm listening.

I don't know what it involved, but it sounds like a lot of fun. That same year, future American President Ronald Reagan visited the park. later that year he was present at the opening of the Disneyland Park in California which we talked about on a previous episode

Lewis Cox's son Bill, Bill Cock, wanted to take his dad's dream Willie Cock. Willie Cock. Or Woney, who knows? You can get away with Moore in England. I reckon they would have taken me out the back and shocked.

me in Australia if I attempted that but you were more syllable sorry say again they're more civil they're more civil you know that everyone knows they're more civil over here Willie Cock saw room to expand Santa Claus land even further in in 1958 he opened a camp across the ground campground across the road I better really get through these last couple paragraphs to cash in on the area's tourism in In 1960, Bill married Patricia Yellig, who you might know that name, it was the daughter of Jim Yellick, aka four-decade Santa Cores. Oh, all of fame.

Beautiful, a beautiful moment, I'm sure. Imagine Santa giving you away. It's the dream. Later that decade, Bill or Willie started planning on building a new suburb for the tiny town. Still a tiny little city, town. He's like, let's build a suburb onto this. one horse town. His wife Pat told him he was crazy asking, why would anyone want to live in Santa Claus? Which is pretty full on because she was living in Santa Claus. And so was Willie. It was like a subtle

hint that Willie didn't take there. This didn't stop him. He bought up farmland and according to Menophrase, he worked with local authorities to create the groundwork for a subdivision featuring street names like chestnuts by the fire drive. rolls off the tongue. The plan came to fruition and in Christmas and Christmas Lake Village opened in 1996. That's saying you're actually the Saints and the NFL, AFL won the, they're one and only premiership. Hey, good. Wait, where are we? Okay.

Only one main event. One main event in that year. I know another ship football team. one another thing, I forget who. Willie was vindicated in his dream, though. There are actually sports people in a night? That never happened to our life show. Eagle. Eagle.

Oh yes, Eagle to you too. Willie was vindicated in his dream, believe it or not. He built this new village and it was a big success and remains an upscale gated community today with around 2,000 residents. What? It worked.

Billy, you madman. In the 70s, they started adding more the thrilling roller coaster rides to the park to keep up with trends, and in 1984, Santa Claus Land diversified. By then, people didn't just want Christmas all year round, apparently, so they reopened as holiday world.

We do all the great holidays. It kept their Christmas section, but they also added theme sections for Halloween and 4th of July. So you could celebrate 4th. 4th of July all year round. Even in February. By 1990, Bill passed the leadership

of the park on his son William, Willie Cock, making him the third generation of cock to rule over the park. Within a few years of his appointment, in 1993, a water park was added. In 2006, they added a Thanksgiving

section of the park, and the park still successfully operates today as Holiday World and Splash and Safari, where Santa still makes daily appearances. That's the end of my report. I've just got one fun fact. I look, there's a page which has all their rides on it.

My favorite one of all of them was a ride called Gobblers Getaway. That's my report, thanks a much. Gobblers Getaway. I've been chuckling myself for weeks ago. Gobblers Getaway. So good to get that out in the open. Sorry, sir. Willie's wet dream.

Willie's wet dream. Have you not learnt from him? Mate, keep rolling the dice, I reckon. I liked it. Willie's wet dream is fun. But is it any sort of goblers getaway? Why try to improve on perfection? Well, that's something that Billy Cock did.

And I see you were inspired by that. Well done. And I'll stop talking now. One more time for Matt Stewart, everybody. All right, team, it's time for a bit more Kishmish. And that is, this is actually a sequel topic. Can you believe? This is a spin-off.

But that's going to... I mean, we will need to remember something we've done before in order to guess this one. What have I told you it was about five days ago? Oh. Nah. Would they know about it then? They'd know about it.

You three. My question is, I mentioned this topic during my Dublin report on the Hugh Lane Painting Robbery, which is our most recent episode at the time of recording. I definitely did not remember that. My question is, what was stolen from Westminster Abbey on Christmas Day, 1950?

A painting. A Christmas painting. It was not a Christmas painting. Christmas sculpture. It's kind of... The nativity scene. No. The Michelangelo num chuck. Does anyone have any idea?

It is the story. The stone of scone and or scone. The stone of scone or the stone of scone. Two options here. Pick your favourite one there. I did mention this very briefly in my Dublin report. No idea. No recollection of that at all.

Mainly so I could create this magical moment right now. Can you feel the energy? Can we blame jet lag back then? Yes. And now? I hope so. Oh, my God. Jetlag.

We call jet lag. Do I remember the boning in whiskey? Only too well. I wish I could forget it. All right, my report is of the Christmas Day robbery of the Stone of Skone. The Stone of Skone, also known as the Stone of Destiny. How good does that sound? It's a stone that for centuries was associated with the crowning of Scottish kings.

According to Britannica, it's a rectangular block of pale yellow. sandstone quote, almost certainly of Scottish origin. Got to love Britannica, they fact-check everything. This rectangular block sits on two other blocks, so it looks a little bit like a tiny piece of stonehenge. Okay. You want to imagine that. Which makes me think of spinal tap and I laugh a lot.

It weighs 336 pounds or 152 kilos, so it's quite hefty, and it only has one decoration on it, which is a Latin cross. It's a pretty plain looking thing. According to one Celtic legend, the stone was once the pillow upon which the patriarch Jacob rested at Bethel when he beheld the visions of angels.

We all remember that. It then purportedly went on a journey travelling from the Holy Land through Egypt, Sicily and Spain and reached Ireland about 700 BC where the ancient kings of Ireland were crowned. But then it was taken by the Celtic Scots who invaded and occupied Scotland around 840.

It was taken to the Scottish village of Scone. So that's where it became the stone of scone. Look, if you are going to correct me every time, it's not going to help. But in 1292, Edward I, the first, the king of England invaded Scotland and stole the stone and took it to London. You bastards. You English dogs. You know that I'm like one quarter Scottish.

Well, actually, probably a bit more Swiss Italian. Swiss Italian. Pretty fancy Italian, actually. So what, wait, when was this? 1292 Edward I took it and he knew of the stone significance and he took it to Westminster Abbey and in 1307 he built a special throne with a place for the stone underneath it so a throne for the scone of stone this wooden throne was called the coronation chair and English and later British monarchs are being crowned inside London Westminster Abbey there ever since

What a thing that they stole from Scotland? Yeah fuck I hate this country Yeah but I mean it should also mean You have stolen a few bits and pieces, haven't it? Land. It's almost your thing, isn't it?

So the stone sat there for centuries after that. History.com tells us The stone of Skone was secretly buried underneath the historic abbey for safekeeping during World War II and a plan for locating it was sent to the Canadian Prime Minister. So you sent a little treasure map for the Canadian Prime Minister.

That dreamboat Prudeau. Has he found it? He hasn't found it, yeah. It survived the war unscathed. I mean, there's someone setting the pace over here. If we could all lift. If we could just get the mic to drop from the ceiling in front of you,

that would be... That would be very good for our egos. So it was in Westminster Dabry for centuries and was involved in dozens of coronations, including James I, the Scottish King, that also became the King of England and Ireland. But some Scots never stopped viewing the stone as being stolen property.

Yeah, I'm one of those Scots. Yeah. Cut to 1950. Where four rebellious students decided to do something about it. He's not listening to anything else. He's just waiting for years. Is this story... Is this story filling anyone else with Christmas cheer?

Mate, we're getting revenge on the English. There's nothing better, more cheerful than that. I don't know what it is. We actually do love you a lot, actually. so we're just being ironic or whatever makes it okay. So Glasgow University students, Ian Hamilton, Alan Stewart. Oh, a Scottish man, I hear. Gavin Vernon and science teacher Kay Matheson

came up with a plot to take back what they thought as belonging to their country. All four members... Why do you reckon they thought that? Is it because it was like literally stolen from that? All four members were All four were members of the Covenant movement which sought home rule for Scotland and the stone is a real symbol for their movement. Their quest was bankrolled by a local businessman

and they took two cars down to London where I read it took like 17 hours or something so they must have got lost or something. They inspected the stone as tourists and then came up with a plan which to be honest wasn't that complex. They went to a tea shop and Vernon declared that he was eager to quote

have a bash. and everyone agreed they'd just have a go immediately that was the plan let's have a crack so on the late afternoon of December 23rd 1950 Ian Hamilton returned to the abbey

where he hid under a trolley the doors to the abbey were shut at 615 the lights were turned off and Hamilton thought he was alone inside quoting from the Daily Telegraph year quote Hamilton was caught by a night watchman behind a statue with his shoes in his hands

I don't know trying to creep around After some gruff questioning about why he'd allowed himself to be shut in, he was let out with a kindly, Merry Christmas, and they let him go. So time to go for Plan B. And that plan was the next day, Christmas Eve, 1950. They had a chat to the Abbey's Archdeacon about the shifts of the security guards, and the trusting deacon told them all they needed to hear.

Oh, Bill, yeah, he locks off about 6.30, goes out for a piss. You'd be easy to walk in here and steal anything about 635. They're like, thank you so much, Arch Deacon. And late that night, in the very early hours of Christmas morn, there you go, Christmas, I've referenced it. The three men jumped a fence that surrounded the builders' yard and then jimmied open the door to the part of the abbey, famously known as Poets Corner.

They then pulled down the barrier around the stone of scone and tried to remove the stone from underneath the seat by tugging at it. Remember, it weighs over 150 kilos, and they were clearly not experienced removalists and they kept getting in each other's weight. Eventually, they did get it out from underneath the seat, but they tugged too hard and it hit the ground and broke into two pieces. So they...

It's like centuries old and they're like, we've got to claim this. Oh, fuck, I've broken. That actually makes it easy to carry, though. They've already got two cars. They've got one for each car. The men placed the larger piece on Hamilton's coat and dragged down the steps of the high altar.

Hamilton picked up the smaller piece and carried it to Kay Matheson, who was waiting outside as the getaway driver. They placed the smaller piece of the stone in the boot, and Hamilton got into the front passenger seat. But as Kay started the engine, she saw her policeman's helmet glint in the moonlight, and rather than panic, she pulled off what is a sweet, sweet move.

If you're in a couple, you're out at night trying to avoid looking suspicious. What do you do? Make out. They made out. They just started making out. What a move. Nothing suss about that.

Would she just waiting for a moment? Oh, no, I think I see a police officer. We better make a move. You horny devil, Kay. Get old Kay. There was no police officer. Again quoting from the telegraph, they fell into a clinch which warmed the officer's heart.

How polite of the English? One of them told them how to steal it, then the cops like, oh, look at them, stealing it. Although it was 5am, he stopped to chat and even offered them cigarettes. Just a lesson out there, you should not stop a couple making it. What are you doing in there? What are he doing? He's a pervy old man.

Apparently they distracted the officer well enough and they pulled another sweet move when they covered up noise from within the abbey by loudly coughing. Two spy movie cliches right there. The officer didn't even notice one of the other men walking out of a door of the abbey. They distracted him.

The police men bed them farewell and they drove away into the night. Hamilton then walked back to the abbey to meet up with the other two men and for a time he couldn't see them So he heaved the heavy stone into the second car all by himself. It was apparently so heavy that the car was on like an angle when it was in the boot. And then as soon as he got into the boot, would you believe it, the two other men appeared?

After he'd done all the work. The alarm was soon raised early on Christmas morn, and a nationwide search for the conspirators began. The border between England and Scotland closed for what was said to be the first time in 400 years. So they took it very seriously. But where did the four Scots go? Well, they all split up. Hamilton and Stuart dumped their piece in a field. I mean, this is something that they respect a lot.

They've broken it, now they've thrown it out the window into a field. And Kay Matheson left her car containing a smaller piece with a friend in the Midlands. Hamilton then collected the two pieces at a later date and had them put back together and repaired. And several months later, on April 11, 1951, he placed the stone on the high altar of the ruined abbey of Abroad. Saying that right? Abrov. It's scum. So it was back in Scotland for nearly the first time in a thousand years.

All four of the young Scots were interviewed by the police and all of them except for Hamilton confessed. How do you reckon they tracked him down? It was discovered that they'd checked out every single one of the university library's books on Westminster Abbey. And before that, they had no interest in it, so it was pretty obvious who did it? But they were not charged, probably to avoid turning into a political incident

because they wanted to draw attention to the fact that Scotland should be its own country in their opinion. The Scots were already seen as heroes and they'd stirred up enough Scottish nationalism. So they achieved their goal. 60 years later, Ian Hamilton would say, I did it for Scotland. Now, the stone was again taken from Westminster Abbey in 1996. This time, much more legally. British Prime Minister John Major unexpectedly announced that England would return the stone to Scotland, and these days it sits at Edinburgh Castle.

Apparently, it will be lent back to Westminster Abbey for future royal coronations. That seems like a good deal. Well done, everybody. Yeah, we did. And how about those daring robbers? Well, Hamilton later became a criminal lawyer and said, quote,

I've defended a lot of daft people during 30 years as a criminal lawyer, but I doubt very much if I've ever defended anyone who was as daft as we were then. According to the Daily Telegraph's obituary of Gavin Vernon, Following the Stone's theft, Vernon found that he would never have to buy a beer again at the university, and it took him some time to graduate. Keep him coming!

He died in 2004 at the age of 77, but he was well respected throughout the rest of his life. For example, when the Stone was returned to Scotland in 1996, he attended the ceremony in Edinburgh. On Christmas Eve, the year 2000, the 50th anniversary of the repossession, Vernon returned to the Abbey, which was specially open for him with the words, welcome back Mr. Vernon that's so good and that is the stone of Skow

that was so good that had everything what a gripping tale and a lot had a happy ending and everything that was sick, great story day yeah well done it again no pressure on whoever's coming up next well mine is one that I think they'll

enjoy because it's like a it's a cryptid oh a creeshmeish cryptier Yeah, so my question is, which Canadian creature comes out of its cave every year around Christmas time? Sounds up. Boobley. Is it Bougla?

It's a little bit of a fake out there for you. Yeah, it's Michael Frickin Bougain. Oh, my God. His middle name's actually Stephen. But I'll call him Michael Frickin Bougain Bouglay. I'm glad this didn't go down like Bono in Ireland. I find out the English story. for some reason hate Michael Bubele

but I tell you who loves them Australians. Oh my God, Australian mum's I should say Oh my God, he sells millions of copies every year that year. It's ridiculous But anyway, that's not... But they've heard of him here by the sense of it. Yeah, based on the people

are yelling his name and then the cheer when I confirmed that is the topic. Well, they might have been the Australians. Are there any Aussies in? Always a fugue. I was like, yeah, but that was a quiet... you're not drinking? What's what's going on?

Is everyone okay? Is there news from back home? Michael, Stephen Bubey. It's a little bit of a backstory for you. It was born on September 9, 1975 and is a Canadian singer, songwriter, actor and record producer. He was the eldest of three children.

He grew up in British Columbia and from a young age he dreamed of being a singer. His interest in jazz began at around age five when his family played Bing Crosby's White Christmas. Oh, the album that he covers every year. He covered once and sells new every year.

It's insane. Anyway. Oh, but his voice is like, oh, it's like, honey. Oh, my God. Are you a middle-aged mum? Yeah. Oh, my God, boobleau. I just remembered I've seen him in concert. Why?

An ex-girlfriend and I was a bit of a fan and we were going together and I had a bucks party beforehand which is like what do they call him here? Stag do. So I was off my chops and we broke up soon after. Were you singing? Oh yeah I sang every word or what I thought every word was. Just having bloop de bloop. Yeah I think you know put on a good show but it was that was at our like when I was of our bigger, right? That was it our tennis? Yeah, he's massive.

Where the Melbourne... Australian Open. Australian Open's on. Where the Melbourne tennis is. Do you guys have tennis over here? It's like the Australian Wimbledon. We call it Melbourne tennis. It's a beautiful thing.

When he was a teenager, he slept with his Bible and prayed of becoming a singer. Okay, is that how it works? Well, clearly. Yeah, he sounds great. Yeah. The first time his family noticed his singing talent

was during the Christmas holidays when Bubla was 13 years old and they heard him powerfully sing the phrase may your days be merry and bright. It was so powerful. The family was singing in the car and he blew them eye with his power. It would be annoying as parents

for your 13 year old to be a better singer than you. Oh yeah. That's a tough day. Yeah, if I have talented kids, I'll be furious. Yeah. I understand it when they're... get taller than you or get stronger than you or something, but when they sing better than you?

Yeah. Is that one? When you have the voice of an angel like me, anyone beyond that is a threat. I think when a baby's born, they can sing better than me. Yeah, they've already trumped you. Oh, the weather outside is quite cool. Imagine that for two hours over Michael Bouble.

People have paid like $200 to be there, and you're just yelling it. That's at the worst night of my name. most bums there's life. Most bums there's lives. No, most of mums that have paid $200 and Matt Stewart singing over the time. Oh, fantastic. I pay good money for that.

Anyway. Thank you. Yeah, you're so welcome. His grandfather was a plumber and offered free plumbing to a nightclub in exchange for some stage time for his 16-year-old grandson. That's a good granddad. And that's actually how we got this gig tonight. I'll be cleaning a few toilets after the show.

At the time he performed under the very cool stage name, Mickey Bubbles. That's pretty cool. Mickey Bubbles. His grandfather paid for his singing lessons, and he supported Michael's dreams. This is a quote from him. He says,

My grandfather was really my best friend growing up. He was the one who opened up to the whole world of music that seemed to have passed over my generation. Although I like rock and roll and modern music, the first time my granddad played me the Mills Brothers, something magical happened. What happened? I don't understand what the crap...

Some people over there is reacting like something weird's happening. What am I missing here? He's having a nice moment with his grandfather. And they're like, freaking them out. Yeah, that's right. In other countries, people... They're just...

They're just... ...show emotion to each other. Yeah. I know it's a foreign concept. I think they're just waiting... I've been watching the cram. They're waiting for the next sentence to be... And he's just waiting for the next sentence to be.

grandfather touched him. That's not the case, so calm down. Apart from in his heart. Yeah. And in his pipes. Grablummer. Grablomer. That was his paternal grandfather.

His maternal grandfather was a little less supportive, saying he would most likely end up being someone's opening act in Vegas. Still good. How could that be? Imagine that. That'd be great. Holy shit. So he must have thought he was pretty good then.

Yeah. Oh, you'll succeed. Sure. You'll play consistently in Vegas. Sure. So, good luck to you. Thank you, Granddad. In 1993, a local talent agent called

Beverly Delic held a contest at the Big Bamboo in Vancouver. And young Michael got on stage and saying, it had to be you, and the whole nightclub went crazy. He was the clear winner, but there was a hitch. He was only 18 and not even allowed in the club. So he was disqualified for being underage. But Beth thought, this kid's got it.

So she entered him in the Canadian Youth Talent Search, which he won, and he asked her to be his manager. And she represented him for the next seven years, and she got him any gig they could get their hands on. Clubs, conventions, cruise ships, hotel lounges, shopping malls, talent shows, anything. Obviously, his most famous work is two uncredited appearances, on the X-Files in 1996.

Whoa! We all remember that, did we see? Yeah, he played a submarine crew member. I remember that. Yeah, that was boobs. Wow. Is that that that show? Am I doing that right? Am I saying that right?

That was beautiful. Yeah. You can see. better than a baby. Thank you. He met multi-Grami award-winning producer and record executive David Foster

at a wedding that Poublo was singing at. David Foster, if you don't know, worked with Madonna, Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Celine Dion, Barber Strausset, and Cher. So, a few notable people there. Also a world champion woodchopper. Might be a different one,

but... Why do you know the name of a famous wood chopper? Why do you not? You're an Australian hero. You're right. That was embarrassing for me. David Foster was reluctant to sign Michael Boubley to his record label because he didn't know how to market this kind of music.

All right. But Booblay was persistent, Klingy. And eventually, Foster agreed to produce an album for him if he raised $500,000 to cover the music. cost of production. Fair deal, yeah. Yeah. Just give us half a meal, then I'll probably figure it out.

Then I'll figure it out for you. But he did. He managed to actually raise $500,000. I think you got funding from somebody else. I didn't care that much. I reckon most record labels would take you one of you gave them half a million dollars. Do you reckon? Is that all it takes? Yes. Can we do an album?

I reckon. Do we have $5 a million? No. All right, that's our next Patreon goal. We raise half a million dollars. We will approach Universal for a deal. We will be selling t-shirts tonight. If you want an album, buy ten of them.

His self-titled debut album was released in 2003 and the album went to the top ten in Canada here in the UK, South Africa and reached number one in Australia. We were mad for it. The middle-aged... Middle-aged mums of Australia were frothing over him. So you've reacted like that

because you were assuming she meant frothing in the pants. She meant at the mouth. Like rabid dogs. It was a weird phenomenon. In November 2003, he released a Christmas EP called Let It Snow, containing five previously unreleased tracks. That peaked at number 56 on the Billboard 200, and the title track reached the top 40 of Australia's single chart.

Fuck, we love him so much. When you said previously unreleased tracks, you mean by him. He doesn't do any previously unreleased tracks. unreleased tracks. He's a covers artist. He has originals. I hate that I'm defending him. Well, no, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with doing covers.

No, but he does have his own songs as well. He just also covers some. Name one. Fuck you. I didn't have a Sealo Green. Good song. I played the Forget You version at my 21st because my grandma was there.

Thought fuck you, give her a heart attack. 2003, it was a very big year for him as well. He also played a lounge singer on an episode of Days of Our Lives. I remember that. And he just went... He's a lounge singer taking a request.

TV themes only. After Days of Our Lives, he went from strength to strength going on to appear in a commercial for Starbucks Frappuccino line. Beautiful. Only the best for blobs. Blobs? I'm a little bit drunk.

Over the next few years, he released several albums. It's time, call me irresponsible and crazy love. But who cares? Because in 2011, he released his fifth studio album called Christmas. Christmas debuted number two in Australia, and the album has since been certified double platinum by the ARIs.

Double platinum. What does that mean? 140,000 copies. Yeah. Forty too, yeah, return. Forty much. He sold 910,000 copies. It hit number one. 910 in the world or in Australia.

That's, our population, that's like one in a certain amount. That's like nearly one in 20, I think. That's wild. That's crazy. Dave, can you fact check? Well, I mean, it's slightly less impressive than that. That's why I said nearly. Right, yeah.

Allegedly. Well, that album has reached number one in December of 2011, 2012, 2013 and 2014. That's in Justin Australia. I didn't know he was an Australian phenomena. We love him. Phenomenon. Phenomenon. Bo-bo-to-do.

That's fun So all those years up to 2014 It got pipped in 2015 by Adele Ah Boo She's from here isn't she She's from here, isn't she?

Yeah, we'll never know If you don't know She's kind of like your Michael Bubey You know I'm Adele I'm Adele Now go on, do it again No, yours is better

Don't Don't be cute, don't Stop it Stop it at once Stop don't you do the toe thing You stop it Matthew Matthew

I just want to be involved But I'm sorry Stop that You stop being so cutie pie So yeah Adele pipped him We'll never know her surname

And Then it was number two in 20th 2016, number one again in 2017. What? What are we doing? Sold over a million copies in the UK in 2011. It was the second highest selling album. Again, Adele got him. Number one.

But he was number two. Yeah, but where is she now? You know? I don't know. No one knows. No one knows her last name or who were it is. Because I'd like to pay her a visit. The album was also accompanied by an NBC television television.

special a Michael Bubele Christmas. It's not creative, but it was viewed by more than 7 million viewers in the US and 1.5 million viewers in Canada. There was also a UK special which featured guest appearances from, a UK special, sorry,

guest appearances from Dawn French. There was a duet performance with both Kelly Rowland and Gary Barlow from Take That. And a cooking tutorial. So, you know, normal Christmas stuff. And if you thought that was the greatest Christmas special of all time,

well, you'd be wrong. Because in 2013, he did another Christmas special, and his guest included Mariah Carey, Mary J. Blige, and Cookie Monster. The big three. He got Cookie Monster. People said he couldn't do it, but he did it. Last year, he was on Graham Norton,

and Graham mentioned that the Christmas album has been number one in Australia every year since 2011. And Michael Bigelais says this. He goes, yeah, it's crazy. Australia but like Christmas is so huge there. We love it honestly. What kind of cavemen bullshit does he think we are? He's like yeah they have Christmas it's crazy. He's like it's different.

Well it means we have Christmas in the back of a you all right. We'll have a barbecue, we'll have a few dingoes around and we'll shoot a couple of roos and we'll have a bloody good shindig okay. You wouldn't understand up here with all your fancy bloody snow and hats. Honestly, open your eyes and come down for a true blue Aussie, uh, shindiggy do do, do. Did you black out from him?

Every now and then they just, they nearly always bailed me out and occasionally they just give me enough rope and I, like they've done it and they're still letting me talk. Still now. That's my reporter, Michael Boubley. Don't let him talk again. Okay. That does bring us to the end of another Chris, Mish, Spatiel.

You're all feeling festive after that? I know I am. I'm pumped for Christmas. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts. Beautiful. I can't even drop things right. Nailed it.

Well, we haven't talked about how we're going to finish this show. Maybe thanks some people and then we'll obviously sing our way out of it. Fortunately, it won't be us singing. We have two guests tonight. welcome Adele and Michael Bouglae. Imagine. Imagine if they walked out, you'd lose your fucking mind!

There was generally half a second where I thought we'd organised two. When he said Adele, I'm like, maybe. If only said Bougla, I'm like, there's no way. We couldn't have got him. We could get Adele, we can't get Bouglas. That's our level. That is our level. Yeah.

But that does bring us to the end of the episode. My goodness. Thank you so much for coming out to this fantastic venue here in London. We have a big round of applause for 229 the venue. Everybody has been very, very nice. Alessandra on sound, thank you so much. What a guy.

Thank you so much for coming out, London. What an absolute pleasure it's been to do a couple of shows here this afternoon and this evening. Thank you so much. Merry Christmas and until next week. I'll say thank you and goodbye. Christmas. What a wonderful time of the year it is.

It's the most wonderful time of the year that was. That episode? What a delightful crowd. Honestly, I'm crying tears of Christmas joy right now. Yeah, you, yeah, are you all right? I'm weeping. Yeah, I know. I'm weeping with Christmas delight.

Are you okay? Ow! I've got custard and eggnog streaming out my eyes. Matt? I think I'm haunted. Do we need to get you to a hospital? Well, an Exorcist Hospital. A Christmas Hospital, yes.

A Christmas Exorcist Hospital, hospice. That'd be great. Yeah, okay. Get me some pudding. I think that's the thing at all songs. That's the cure. Yeah, but I don't like pudding. Who likes Christmas pudding?

It's yuck. It is gross. The only thing about Christmas I don't like. The Christmas pudding? I'll take every other bit of it. Really? Yeah, I'm not a big Christmas pudding fan. I like chocolate pudding.

Yeah, now I'm listening. Christmas pudding. Put it away. No good. Get it out of here. Put it away, not into my gut. My arm rolls them up into little balls, then puts white chocolate on top,

and then some little like jellies to make them look like mistletoe or holly it's very cute and they look cute still won't eat them I reckon they look cute and then you can throw them against a brick wall as far as I'm concerned sorry Mrs Perkins I'm calling you Mrs Perkins

can't tell you how cute they are there oh my God so cute and such good weapons Adorable against annoying cousins at Christmas lunch Get them Anyway that's my family tradition Beautiful tradition I love tradition Well we have a tradition here at Dugo One

and that is every single week We thank people on Patreon We do And the first one we like to do Is the fact quote or question segment Which has a bit of a jingle that goes like this Fact quote or question And in it

Was that on time this time? Perfect, yes Thank you It was so on time But I spoke over and I apologise to that But I would love to get into it We have two to get through It's where Patreon

Gives us a fact of quote or a question Which we will either read out The question We'll answer the quote or will beguile you with the fact. Is that right? Yep. And before people get on Twitter, I know I said that at the wrong order.

So, um, God, we... Actually, oh, never lied. We don't see Twitter as a very positive place lately. Twitter, Twitter isn't a positive place. Twitter's gross and awful. I love it and hate it. Unless big tweet are listening. I love it and hate it and hate it and love it and hate it.

But firstly, the way you can do it, do this is go to patreon.com slash 2-Goand-Pod, and you can support us there on the Sydney-Shaunberg level, rest and peace. Of course. It's a bit of a VIP level. Yeah, it is a VIP level. And this week on that level is Jacob Lane,

who's given us a quote, and also given himself the title of the official Simpsons reference auditor, bracket, still bracket. That actually is his official title. Yes. If you're on the Facebook group, you'll know that every week Jacob audits,

our episode and he'll tell us which Simpsons' quotes have been said. Who said him and what their reference to what episode? And he'll give it a score. It seems like a lot of work actually. And it's very much appreciated. Yeah, we totally appreciate it. So that's on the Patreon-only Facebook group

if you are looking for that. And you can join it if you support the show on Patreon. And we thank Jacob Lane for the great work he does. It does fantastic work. We have to meet him when we did a live show in Perth. That's right. He helped us score our Patreon bonus episode. A lot of fun.

Anyway, he's given us a quote, and his quote is this. Simpson's scandal update. Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent, which he claims gives him sexual powers. I noticed you guys have been slipping a bit on the Simpsons' references, and quite frankly, that's not good enough. So I decided to drop my own in to make sure we meet our quota for the next financial year. Hey, that's only half true.

That's the response to that quote. Thank you so much, Jacob, for getting more Simpsons' references in. That is very good. I wonder if we got any references in the Christmas episode. Who can say? Jacob can. Jacob will tell us. Have you auditing.

Thank you so much. On the Facebook group. Thank you so much for that, Jacob, you goddamn legend. And I'd also love to thank Sof Waldron, who's given us a question. And she's also keeping her title of live show photographer. She is always there to take photos for people at our live shows in Melbourne. Thank you so much, Sophie. you are, you take a great snap.

And one time in London. It takes a great snap. And she asks a great question, I assume. Let's read it together. Okay. What is a topic that one of the others is reported on that you wish you'd thought of first? Or you'd wish you'd thought to do first. Oh, okay.

Good question. Good question, well asked. And by me, but also well written by yourself as well. Good question. I've got an answer. Yeah. And that is way back in the day, I'd early on hoped to do the Titanic,

which Jess covered. And at the time was a bit like, oh, damn, this is such a good one. I wish I'd done it. But then you smashed it out of the park. It was probably one of your longest reports ever, Jeff. Yeah, that doesn't mean I did well.

No. That's how you can tell if something's good. No, but I mean, the research was very, very intricate on that episode, which is obviously a big topic. There's a lot written about it. And I was very impressed, So I wouldn't change it if I could. But at the time, when you said the topic, I was a bit like,

damn, I love this one. You did that. It was vice versa as well when you did the queen. I was singing the queen as well. Yeah. Maybe it's only now because I'm watching the crown. Sure. That I would love to have done the queen.

It's an interesting story. Yeah. And I should listen to that episode again because I can't remember anything. Which is good because I've been finding the crown to be interesting. Like I'm hearing all this stuff. That's good. Because it's basically a documentary. The other one I really wish I did was River Dance.

Fuck you. Can't believe you beat me to my passion. Fuck you. I wish it had been on in Dublin. I would have dragged your sorry little ass there. I would have enjoyed it live, I'm sure. No, you wouldn't. I'd get into a show.

I get into a show. I get into a show. I love it. I love to get into a show. I think the Beatles being one of my favorite bands is another one I would love to have done. Yeah, I butchered a couple of the classics. I'm not saying butchered.

I'm just saying that's the topic that I love. Those are early ones for me, so I would love to go back and redo them because I don't think they were very good. I remember them both being great. Well, anyway. You're just going through a few of the episodes now, so just to make sure we're not missing any. Yeah, they'd be, I'm sure there'd be a bunch.

Oh, there'd be so many, yeah. There's just the ones that come to mind straight off the bat. But there'd definitely be heaps. But I reckon, yeah, the Beatles would be something, I know quite a bit about them, but it's the kind of, sometimes I like doing a report because it's a great excuse to just learn. Yeah, but deep-in. Because I think you do learn more doing the report than.

Yeah, for sure. Become like a mini expert just for that week and then you sort of, you know, some of it does fall away. Drop a lot of the info out of your brain. But yeah, thanks so much for your support. Sof Waldron. Thanks, Sof. Thank you. And Jess, I'd like to underline the fact I was not having a go at those reports.

No, no. Because I don't remember them. No, me either. I just remember them being great. I assume they weren't great because it was the early days. You know, now I'm a master. That's true. That's true, true.

You've grown. I've grown. I've done so much. I would also love to start thanking some patrons. So that's another reward you can get at the patreon.com. So do you go on pod. Is the reward of being shattered out? Did I say shatter?

It did say sound like you said shattered out. We will shut you out. At a certain price we will shut you out. We'll eat you up and you'll be shat. For a much lower price, we will shout you out. Yeah, we'll just say your name. And Jess normally gives us a little bit of a game. There's all sorts of different rewards.

You get bonus episodes every month as well as access into that Facebook group like we discussed before. And many, many other things. Jess does a somewhat regular newsletter. Has fallen a bit behind, especially while I've been overseas because I can't really keep track of what day it is. But I will get back into that properly. And there's probably not a lot to update them on. Very soon.

No. No. We're just doing it on tour. Yeah. Boring. We're sitting around again. We just watched... We just watched a movie.

Yeah, that was our first movie we watched this time. Last year we watched at least two because I made us for Prime Me. That's right. Ace Ventura 1 and 2. Yeah, and it was some of our happiest memories. We also watched the first 10 minutes of a Batman movie. Do you remember? Oh, yeah, it was so bad.

But also, we watched Ace Ventura at our crappest accommodation last year, which didn't have a living room, so we had to, like, all pile into Matt's room and watch it. And the TV was the size of a laptop screen. Yeah, and you and I were on this shitty little couch. Oh, that was horrendous. If you want any of the results of that, there was a primates episode where Dave and Jess especially, but also me a bit shat on two beloved Jim Carrey films. Yeah, we shat Jim Carrey out that week.

Sorry about that. We paid top dollar, so we were obliged to do it. We shut him out. But firstly, let's thank out, think out and shit out and shout out. Jeez. Some of our Patreon support. Deluxe treatment this week. We're giving them the big three.

Do you want me to kick it off? Yeah. Well, I'd love to thank from our hometown of Melbourne, Victoria. Melbourne. Luke Reeves. Luke Reeves. Have you given us the game we're going to play, Papa? It's got to be something Christian.

Christmasy, right? Christmasy. What about Luke Reith? Oh, give him a Christmas name. Oh, I like that. That might be hard. No, I'm happy to give it a crack. All right, cool. And it's probably going to get worse as we go on.

Yeah, definitely. Is he, what is he? Is he like a Christy character, sort of like Jack Frost? No, he is a wreath. Matt, I mean, if you have to ask. I turned him into a wreath. Luke wreath. He's a wreath.

He's a wreath. I mean. If people don't know what a wreath is, how are you describing? Why are you saying it like that? Like it's, oh, he's just on someone's door. What an honour. A leafy thing. One of the great symbols of Christmas.

I think everyone knows what a wreath is. It's a complete circle signifying the completeness of the Christmas spirit. The completeness that Luke makes us feel. That's huge and a really important position. So yeah, he's just on someone's door, Matt. Merry Christmas. Luke. The Queens?

Yes. Oh my God. He's the Queen's Christmas Reef. That is an honour. That's important. Now you get it. He's on Buckingham Palace's door? Wow.

Yeah, it's huge. Holy moly. So, congrats to you, Luke Reith. Probably been pissed on by a corg. We saw Windsor Castle from the motorway today, so we're pretty royal. I didn't look up. Fair enough. What were you doing on your phone?

He was watching the Crown. Too busy watching the Crown, sorry. I don't know that bullshit is out the window. Don't care. I couldn't. I couldn't see it. Oh, no. Was it obvious?

It was very big. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but I couldn't see it. It was very nice. You couldn't see it? No. Why not? I don't know. I just couldn't see.

I was on the wrong side of the car. Jess was driving and she saw it, mate. But I was on the wrong side. It was so big though, mate. It's a big castle. Oh, I couldn't see. Did you not have your glasses on? You can move.

I can't move. We're in a moving car. You can move your head around. Oh, well, I slightly bubbled. You missed it. That's okay. That's all right. You tried.

Is there a picture of it online I could find? Definitely, yes. Oh, well then it's fine. Don't worry about it, Dave. I'm happy I saw it I even saw the Luke Reith on the front door

So that's where she lives What's Buckingham Palace about then? Oh you know You gotta have a London residence made Oh yeah Just got a few different spots And then there's Val Moral Yep

I think That's a Scottish property Yeah Got them all I've learned a bit from the crown That rings up She owns billions of dollars of stuff Give it back

Do you reckon? Yeah It's ours probably Our. Give back to the people. Yours and mine. The people of Britain. Oh, that's not us.

Oh, that's not us. Don't fight for them. No, Matt. That's not, none of your business. None of my business. I don't have a dog in this fight. Come on, mate. Come on, everybody.

Anyway, thank you so much Luke Reeves. Sorry, Luke Reith. Reef. I'd also love to thank also from Melbourne, Victoria. We miss it there. I'm crying a single tear of custard. Rum soaked custard. I've been overeating, to be honest.

and I would love to thank from Melbourne Benjamin Pachione Oh wow I feel like he nailed That sounded great Say it again Benjamin Faccione Or Fachone

Maybe Okay Can you have a look at that Or do you again Faccione I can even nail it Yeah Faccione

Okay well What do you give him the gift Give him the gift Of a nickname Dave Christmasy Or just gone Benjamin

La la la la la la la Chione. Yeah. Saved it. Thank you so much, but. So he's like, la la la la. I like that you just from across the room saw my face go. Yeah, I saw your eyes light up.

She got it. That's great. Well, so Benjamin this Christmas is bringing the gift of song. La la la la chioni. It sounds like Babe the Pig. Yeah. Which is a reference he will understand as an Australian. assuming he's older than me.

Or younger. Or younger than me. Would you like to thank some of these fine people? Can I thank some people? Yes, please. I would love to thank from Sydney. Oh. New South Wales.

It's a real Aussie. Australia. I would love to thank Patrick Weller. Oh, Patrick Weller. Patrick Weller. See, this people are going to be shouting. something at their phones right now. Like,

hmm. Magic. Okay. Fella? Which is another name for Santa. Yes. The magic fella. Magic fella.

Magic fella. They're getting worse with everyone. Dave did say that would happen. I told you. I predicted this. I peaked with wreath. I'm doing this. I've actually got a better one, but I want them to get worse.

Oh, you've got a better one. Oh, I've actually, um, I think it's a way better one. So. No, no. No, no, I'll spare you. Magic fella's good. Fuck you. You have nothing.

I've got nothing. Oh, all right. Don't take this from me. St. Nick, instead of Patrick. St. Nick Fella. St. Nick Stokin' fella. Okay. Instead of filler.

Yeah, I got it. I'm saying with an accent. Stocking fella. Stucking fella. Stalking fella. Stalking fella. Fella. Fella!

All right, those are several options for you. The problem is now they're getting better. Yeah. Now that's the best ones at the time. Oh, that's why Dave held back his awesome one that he definitely thought of. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Go on, let us have it. No, he said it. Fella. Fella. Thank you very much, Patrick. Sorry about that. And I'd also like to thank for a maple shade, New Jersey. No, Joyce.

Throw on a bit of maple shade. I would love to thank John Machicon. Matchacon. Wow. Machicon. John Magicon Okay Dave you haven't given us anything

Yeah Dave Could you lift? I thought this would be If they were porn titles You love this kind of bullshit Yeah there were sexy titles But we're not going there Um

All I can think of is that What about Bon Bonn That's what I was going with It's going to go Con instead of Bon John could be Bonbon Yes And then what are you doing to MatchaCon Or you were thinking

Matcha Bonbon Bon Bon matcha bonbon bon. Oh, matcha bonbon. Matcha bon bon. Matcha bon bon. I like it. Jolly matchabon bonbon. Jolly matchabon bonbon.

Now, great. That's perfect. Jolly match. We're reversed the trend. We're now getting better with each of them. I'm so good at these. So good. It's crazy how good I am at it.

I can't believe how. Geez, John must be full of the joy of Christmas right now. Just pull him apart. He'll explode goodness. He'll explode joy. So thanks, John. Thanks, John. Merry Christmas.

David, do you like. to thank some people. And Christmas is all about bad jokes. What do you think when you open a bonbon? There's terrible jokes inside. People love them. Yeah. They love them.

That's the good shit. I would like to thank from Ting Alpa in Queensland. Oh, another Aussie. Tingelpa, Queensland. I don't know what that is, but I like the name of it. And could this be Brett Lee? Brett Lee's in Sydney. He's in what was Tony Abbott's electorate, I think, as he went out and campaign.

But this Brett Lee is definitely still. a human being. Yes, absolutely. Actually, I know, because I clicked on his, he tweeted it at some point, and I clicked on his thing. I was saying, is that Brett Lee? And his bio is, no, not that Brett Lee. Not the cricketer.

Yeah, the cricketer is what we're referring to. But Brett Lee, we love you more than the other, Brett Lee. You're our number one. Yes. Christmas Lee, instead of tree. Oh, great. Christmas Lee, so you've changed Brett to Christmas. And Lee.

To Lee. No, Treeta Lee. You've changed. So his name was originally Brett Tree. And you've changed. Sorry, are we not changing them to famous cricket players' names? His name was originally Christmas Tree. And we changed it to Brett Lee.

Yeah, we're going to change your Christmas out of your name into cricket-sounding names. Christmas Lee. That's probably the worst one. Let's see if we could bring a name. I really thought David would be. good at this. He's so bad. Oh, come on, guys.

Is there like Lee? It's like sort of close to Sled or Slee, Sleigh. Slee. Slee. Brett, Brett Slay. Yes. I mean, I think Lee's closer to tree than Lee is to slay. In my defense.

Sure, but you've still just made him Christmas Lee. Christmas Lee is so bad. It's so bad. It's offensively bad. This man. I'm so sorry, Brett. Christmas Christmas

God. Oh Oh. It's done so much for us. Oh, how about everyone wants their Christmas to be

debt free. Everyone wants that. Everyone wants that. It's like that's on an account and wanted it's like you've taken

all the fucking spirit out of Christmas now. Debt free. Brett Lee. Merry Christmas. You're debt-free.

I would love to hear that on Christmas. Okay. No, that is a beautiful gesture. Brett Lee is debt-free. Or Christmas Lee. Christmas, Lee. Your Christmas name is changing your first name to Christmas. I'm leaving your surname the same.

Your love going on with a Christmas name for you, David. Christmas Warnocky. Matt, do me. Do me. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Jess, you are now Christmas Perkins. What's your Christmas Day, Matt?

I don't think Matt's can be done. Matt's can't be done. Christmas Stewart, I don't know. Christmas... We have fucking lost it. I'm so sorry, Brett. Hopefully you'll forgive us with the Christmas spirit now within you. The Christmas Lee spirit.

And who would... like to finally thank you. Finally, I'm going to bring it home now. From Hillsborough, Oregon, I would like to thank in the USA, of course, Brian V. Douglas. Oh, it's like to boxing fire. Is it?

Christmas, Brian. Brian V. Douglas. Brian Douglas. Brian Douglas. Um, uh, what about, uh, Oh, I've got one. Yeah. A good Christmas message is this Christmas, try and be drugless.

Okay. Don't take drugs over the Christmas period. Any other time, take drugs. But come on, are you hanging out with your family? Try and be drugless, especially if you're out in the road. Try and be drugless. Eggnog in a mugless. Yes.

That's good, too. That's good. Do you take your choice there, Brian? They're two very good options. and both so far better than Christmas leave, which we cannot apologise for enough. Well, if you can think of a better one, guys, write in, we would love to tweet our good friend Brett Lee

and point in the direction of some proper Christmas names. Yes, that would be really nice. So that, thank you so much to Brian, Brett, John, Patrick, Patrick, Benjamin and Luke. Oh, not only very Aussie, a very blokey section of Patreon shoutouts this week. To all a good night. And to all a good night. And, yeah, I really do wish that you all have the very best Christmas of all time this 2019. And we also like to thank at the end of our episodes, the new section we've got, the Triptitch Club, which is Patreon supporters who've been on the shoutout level or above for three plus years.

And I think I might have forgotten last weeks, and I've possibly forgotten next weeks, thinking ahead. And I'm going to thank a few weeks' worth, which isn't too many to be honest. But welcome these great people into the Triptitch Club. We have from Yaguna. We've got Tanya Miles from Putnam Valley, Adam Jam Battista, from Uminah Beach, Jared Gere, from London, Chris Tostevan, from Yarraville, August James, from Stafford. We've got Isaac Moore, from Hamburg, Jana. or Yana Nicol from Farmington, Dane Leger, from Dallas, Michael McDowell, and from Wellwyn, we've got James Cahouzac, and finally from Binghampton, Richard Schubert.

Thank you so much, your absolute legends. Thank you all those people, three years strong. So cool. Thank you so much for all your support. Basically been there since the beginning. Christmas 2016, or pre-Christmas 2016. So cool. Thank you so much.

It means so much to us. You keep this show running, and we goddamn love you. I don't want to speak for you, but I certainly do love you. I'll second that. I'm fond of you. Fonduvue. Fondue. Fond you.

Fondue. Yeah. Christmas fond you. Is that anything? I think so. Yeah, for me that is. I haven't cried laugh for a long time. Yeah, that's fun.

since those dogs. What happened to the dog? I'm not going to go. If you want to find out about what happened to those dogs, listen to the marathon episode on the Patreon bonus episode that made me cry with joy and bafflement. Yeah, both of those things. Well, that brings us to the end of another fantastic Christmas episode.

There's Christmas episodes over the last few years as well, if you want to get on a Christmas binge. I've heard a few listeners do a Christmas tradition. of listening to all of our old Christmas episodes, which is kind of nice. So we talked about crampus the first year. I know the history of Santa Claus, I think, the first year. Oh, right.

Yeah. And then we've done Christmas Mysteries live, the last couple of years. Oh, yeah. This is our fifth Christmas special. Amazing. And there's also a couple on Patreon bonus episodes. A couple years ago, I did one about the... The Yule lads.

The Yul Lads, Yul Tide Lads from Iceland. And we did another one. where we got an episode where we pretended to be a Christmas radio station, which I have very little recollection of. Me too. I did voices. Yeah, we did voice. We had fun.

Yeah, I guess. I hope. If not, if it's not fun, then why? Anyway, Dave, stop wrapping this up. I'm mumbling. Oh yeah, check out all that stuff at patreon.com. Do go on. Put all the bonus episodes.

You can check us out on social media. All the links to everything we talk about is on our website. do go onpod.com. But if you just want to type us into your app, we are at do go on pod on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. We've got a YouTube channel. We've got videos coming out. And, yeah, why not to drop us a line?

Do go on pod at gmail.com. But for another Kishmish, I guess that's it. That's it. Yeah. Thanks, thanks everyone for being with us this year. I love Christmas. I love you. Hope you have the best Christmas ever.

Obviously, we've got a couple more episodes coming out before Christmas. That's right. We're not going to be taking a break. We never do. We never stop. We can't. Can't stop. Won't stop.

As soon as we stop, we'll die. We're a bit like a... Shark. Yeah, that's right. Absolutely. We're like a shark who's had a bomb strapped to it. Yes. That makes it have to go at least...

And we've activated... Yeah, 20 miles per hour. 50 miles per hour. Got to stay above 50. But yeah, thanks so much for the support over the year. It's been absolutely fantastic. We'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, we'll say Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. And I'll say goodbye. Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester.

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