Do Go On - 218 - Operation Mincemeat

Episode Date: December 25, 2019

During WW2 a body washes up on a beach with some top secret documents on it... but how did that body get there? It's a story with the greatest codename ever... Operation MincemeatBuy tickets to our live shows here: https://dogoonpod.com/events/Our website: dogoonpod.comSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnikey and I'm sitting here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Yeah, Jess Perkins first. Oh, must be back around on the other side of the rotation. Exactly. I've done the maths, carried the millions of ones, which is one million, and we are back around. It's going to be even from now on. Well, I think technically that would be million of ones.

Wow. All right. Well, it's going to be just first forever now. For that correction. I hope someone got five for that blunder. Great to be here on this. The day, we're recording a couple of days in advance, but when this comes out in Australia at least,

if you're listing hot off the presses, it is Christmas Day. Christmas Day. Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. As we like to say. There's a Christmas tree in our studio now. It's lovely.

Is that a permanent edition, Matt? Ah, yes. That'll be here year round. But we'll take the Christmas decorations off it and it will just be decorated for different times. It's just the podcast studio tree. Right, we just have an indoor garden. Yeah. Then it will be the, what is the boxing day sales tree.

Yeah, Australia Day tree. Yeah, you know, the list goes on. Tree of life. Tree of life. Tree Day tree. There's probably a tree day. I had definitely had that in a sharehouse. The Christmas tree was up until at least March.

Great. No, probably longer actually, yeah. We took the decorations off, so it was just an indoor tree. But you were excitedly put it up together and then you're like, well, I'm not going to take it down. Putting up it is the fun part. Yeah, taking down is sad. Putting up it is a fun part. Thank you, yeah.

Sorry, a little Shakespearean there. I love to put it up it. Most people listening probably will, they probably have just done Christmas and are listening later. So to you, I say, happy boxing day. Sales. Happy New Year's Eve. happy New Year's Day and happy 2020. And happy tree day.

Happy tree day. It comes around so quickly, doesn't it? My goodness, I can't believe it. It's a big day in Lebanon. Oh, yeah. Tree Day. They love the tree. They love the flag.

They love it so much. Was that a flag joke? Was that a tint of the flag joke? Yeah, it was. But what a happy coincidence it would have been otherwise. So don't worry, I was with you there. I was with you. I knew you did on purpose.

I'm just impressed because I, I don't know flags. You don't know your Lebanese flags from your body. Other other flags. Name any country. Name one other country, man. Iceberg. Wait, did you say name a lettuce?

Osberg? All right, he's done it again. Well, it is great to be back. This is our first proper studio episode for a little while. Is it the first since we've been back from the UK and Ireland? Yes. Yeah, that's right. Now the first one we've recorded back in.

in Australia. We've been back for a bit over a week now. We should also say first one since we're back from UK, Ireland and Scotland, just in case people are listening in the future after the vote. Yeah, that's right. They are gearing up for that at the time of recording. Okay, so we're living back for just over a week? Just over one week. Just over one week. Yeah, how are we feeling? Yeah, how's the jet lag? Are you done? Are you sort of? Are you fixed? I think I'm really good because I went pretty much straight to a music festival.

Yeah. I had a sleep, about five hours sleep that went to a music festival, my favourite, Meredith, it's happiest time of year. It's like my Christmas. And it's a camping festival. It is a camping festival.

So you're there roughening in a tent for a couple of nights. Okay, a couple of mistakes I made. No cap for the Lilo. Okay. So was it just a piece of plastic on the ground? I ended up sleeping on the ground. Yeah, flat plastic on the ground. Lilo's is that universal?

It's a lot. Airbed? Airbed. And then what else did I? I forgot that and one other. Oh, no. The other one did. I brought a pump that was plugged into the wall.

So, I mean, I didn't have a wall. Were you looking around the field for a wall? Excuse me, where's the wall? I didn't have a wall. I realized that first, and I'm like, great, can't blow it up. And then realize, oh, even if I could, I couldn't keep the air in the lot of anyway. So he slept on the ground. Yeah, on the floor, which is what they call the paddock.

The outside ground. Cow floor. So, well, your sleep's terrible, let's be honest. I know that I slept okay because I but I think it got because I was so stimulated during the day with music and everything it got me through the day and I was getting asleep you know around midnight and I got home back on the on the sleep cycle nice yeah so it actually worked out pretty well so that's your tip for people is to come back go to a music festival sleep on the ground yes and then you'll be right exactly because I did not do that and I struggled for the first few hours you probably did you have air in your bed yeah yeah that's a big no no too much air it's like Kramer when he gave Elaine a massage, and then she slept on a bed. She's like, my back, it's killing me. Crome was like, well, did you sleep on a plank of wood? No, you didn't say that.

Well, obviously, your back's going to hurt now. We were on their way for two weeks, and in that time, I was no longer used to my bed. I had to get used to my bed all over again. Wait, didn't you get a brand new bed? Yeah, so maybe I was still getting used to it. Okay. But I was just like, oh, this is, I don't like it. Oh, you got it before.

For some reason, I thought you came. I came home to a brand new bed. No. And you just lost your mind. Like, it's so weird. My bed feels really different. Anyway, I was waking up at 5 a.m. for a few days. But now I'm normal.

Normal. Well, as normal as she can be. Normal. Yeah, for you. Yeah, I'm just normal. So a bit kooky. Anyway, so it's very nice to be back in the studio now with Christmas Tree. And I thought I'd do a report.

What do you reckon? I'd love the hero. Should we explain first how the show works? I can do that really quickly. Great, go for it. Between the three of us, three obvious friends and comedians, we each take it in turns. Fuck, I've already said too many words.

To pick a topic, usually suggested by our listener, we research that topic, and then tell to the other two people who don't know what the topic is. And we normally get on to that topic with a question. Then the other two people are a bit annoying, especially to people who are listening just to hear the story. Yeah.

That's me and Matt this question. Very annoying. Well, because this would be my final report that I'd be writing for the year, I put it to the Patrions with a bunch of second chances. So topics that had been voted on previously but hadn't won the vote. And it was still pretty tight race, but they have... It all came second again. I was like, God damn it.

So my question for you is, which World War II mission was an unableness. was an unofficial influence for the 1989 film Weekend at Bernies. Wait, what? Well, okay. All right, let's go back to the top. World War II mission. Okay. Weekend at Bernies.

Right. So someone about a dead girl. You got to pretend someone's still alive? Yeah. Wait, how long did the war go on for after Hitler killed himself? Was there some sort of a weekend of Hitler's thing? He's been an idiot who was life for four years. The Nazis like, we can still hold on to this.

It's important we have our leader. I wrote this question 10 minutes ago while you guys were chatting. Did you not see me chuckling to myself for a bit? Yeah, but that's pretty normal. That's true, actually. A World War II or not to pretend someone was still alive. Operation... Dumbow drop.

Not Operation Dumbow Drop. Weekend at Bernies. Operation Weekend at Fendons. Sadly no. Operation. Poppy Joe. It's maybe some sort of meat product. Okay.

Something you might do to beef. Pork. I'd pork it all that one. You can have... Operation. You can have diced beef. You can have... Grilled.

Sliced? Nump. When they like... Barbecued. Make it all little tiny little bits. Mint. Yeah. Mints meat.

I've heard of this, I reckon. Oh, why? What is it? I'll tell you. Oh, so there's some sort of a mincemeat man that's carrying around with a Hawaiian shirt on. I haven't seen Weekend of Burney's, to be honest, but... I've never seen that film.

Me either. Wow, here we go. What are current references to that film coming at you? And look, I don't think it was any influence at all, but I just found that pretty funny. Oh, that's funny. That's funny stuff. That's funny stuff. So this Operation Mincemeet's been suggested by a bunch of people.

Jess, Cameron Warns, Riz Azaf, Tom McKenna, Meghearts, Lynn and Victor Guillermo Di Manuel. Wow, you really ordered that with a big finish. One pretty ordinary one, but I won't mention. Jess, you're saying Jess was already. Well, I was just making a joke, but you're right. Jess is pretty ordinary. It's a pretty ordinary. The name's pretty crap too.

Got them all. Got them all, got all those Jesses. Cop that, Jesses. So this is from history.com. It says, In April 1943, a decomposing corpse was discovered floating off the coast of Hulah. Fuck, should have looked that up.

That's so, you're what, four words in the report? I know, Hulhuv. I have looked up. Oh, fuck. I've looked up pronunciations for so many words in this report and didn't do that one. Give me a look at the word. It's in southern Spain. You speak Spanish, Dave.

Welver. Wellver it is. Welver in southern Spain. Volva. Sorry, yes, silent be. Personal documents identified him as Major William Martin of Britain's Royal Marines and he had a black attache case changed to his wrist. Did you look up attache?

Yeah, it's just a briefcase. But I left it in there, attache. That's a fun word. It's fun. It's very James Bond and attache case. Yes. And there's a bit more James Bond stuff in this report too. Exploding Penn.

When Nazi intelligence learned of the downed officer's briefcase, as well as concerted efforts made by the British to retrieve it, they did all they could to gain access. Though Spain was officially neutral in the conflict, much of its military was pro-German, and the Nazis were able to find an officer in Madrid to help them. In addition to other personal effects and official-looking documents, they found a letter from military authorities in London to a senior British officer in Tunisia, indicating that Allied armies were preparing to cross the Mediterranean from their positions in North Africa and attack German-held Greece and Sardinia. You were about to do a hard. That was a bit of a soft G. Not a hard G, but a soft R.

Geese. This intelligence coup for the Nazi spy network allowed Adolf Hitler to transfer German troops from France to Greece ahead of what is believed to be a massive enemy invasion. The only problem? it was all a hoax. So I'll look a long intro there from History.com, but still... sets the scene beautiful. Set the scene.

So three and a half years earlier in September of 1939, the Second World War had just begun, and Director of Naval Intelligence, Rear Admiral John Godfrey. I mean... You love Rearadryadro. It is so funny. It is so funny. It's like the highest rank, and then it's the funny.

It's also the highest form of comedy. Rearadmiral. The word. Rearadry. They stand on the Simpsons. The dreaded rear admiral. Yeah, what is that mean? Some sort of wedgy type thing.

Oh, right. So John Godfrey circulated a memo to the British offices. It was called the trout memo. Oh. Trout's a great word. Who took the trout from the fridge? That was my trout. I was saving it for my sandwiches.

I think it was more likely. Trout sandwiches. Could someone stop cooking trout in the microwave in the office? You're sticking up the whole plushy. It's so gross. I've heard that from a few different people. There's just their whole office is quietly annoyed by one guy who Michael has trout. Trout.

Not trout, but fish. I'm going to have it like from two or three different offices. And everyone's just quietly going, mate, I wish you'd just figure it out yourself. I'm not going to tell you. But that's stinking out the place. Yeah, the office I work out, there's a fish guy. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not the fish. Absolutely. I don't think you should bring fish into a. workplace whatsoever unless it is from the fish and chip shop. That's four. So you've, which office at the project? Yeah. Name names.

No, well not. It hasn't happened in a while I reckon. So maybe someone did say, hey, please stop microwave. Oh, he read the trout memo. Yeah, the trap. Well, sadly, this trout memo was not about trout in the microwave, but it did compare the deception of an enemy in wartime to fly fishing. It reads, the trout fisher casts patiently all day.

He frequently changes his venue and his lures. If he's frightened a fish, he may give the water a rest for half an hour. But his main endeavour is incessant. The memo goes on to describe numerous ways that the enemy, like trout, may be fooled or lured in. Oh, my God. This is the kind of thing where you're like, just get to the orders. You're scanning through it going, like, are you still talking about it? It's all these metaphors.

You're like, what do you mean? We don't care that that's your hobby, Rita Admiral. Like, we don't need to know that. It sounds like his minds elsewhere, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm running this war from a river somewhere. The war had just started, maybe didn't realize quite how big it was going to be. At that point, they were still calling it a good year.

I reckon I could save this year. It's going to be fine. Historian Ben McIntyre suggested that although the memo was published under Godfrey's name, it bore all the hallmarks of Godfrey's personal assistant, Lieutenant Commander Ian Fleming. Who was famously a fly fisher. And Ian Fleming. Ian Fleming.

Ian Fleming? The Ian Fleming? What? The Ian Fleming. Yes. As in Christopher Lee's adopted cousin. The old captain of the New Zealand cricket team. Yes.

Whoa. You think of Stephen Fleming? Yes. Ian Fleming is in James Bond, Ian Fleming. Yes. Fantastic. We did an episode on. Yes.

That's right. And we mentioned last week because he was Christopher's adopted cousin. That's right. He comes up a bit. He comes up a bit. That's crazy. So he's the assistant to the dreaded rear. Admiral. Yes. And this, this trout memo sort of feels a lot like his writing.

It feels, if this was out today and it got leaked, it would go viral. People would be mocking it. It'd be talked about on your show, Dave, for sure, I reckon. Big time. I reckon Peter Hellier would make a funny out of it, which I think is really a big part of what you do. That's entirely what he does. Making the new cycle funny. Yeah, you get it. You get my job. I really should ask you what you do someday. So good how you have no idea. Still, all these years later. The Friday funnies.

I know you work all week to do that one Friday funny. You and Peter Helly do something together. Friday funnies, Monday to Friday, except Pete doesn't work on a Friday. It's a complicated gig, but I can't wait for you to explain it to me. TV. Maybe in a memo. Yeah. Trout.

Can you send Matt a memo? So the memo contained a number of suggested schemes for their consideration for use against the access power. to lure U-Boats and German surface ships towards minefields. Number 28 on the list was titled, A Suggestion, in brackets, not a very nice one. It was an idea to plant misleading papers on a corpse that would be found by the enemy. This wasn't a totally new idea.

Deliberate planting of fake documents to be found by the enemy has been done before. In fact, it had already had a name. It's called the Havasack Ruse. Oh, yes. It had been used by the British and others in the first. first and second world wars. Well, I mean, the second world's only just started, but it'd be, it's used. I reckon we've talked about it in previous reports. Others have used that tactic.

Yeah. I think it's, it's real smart. Because even, even if they assess on it, they've still got to think about it, right? You're wasting their time one way or the other. For sure. And maybe they go, we need to at least follow this up a little bit. Yeah. And so. Because it could be a double bluff. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. So they've definitely used that a lot. In August of 1942, A corpse was placed in a blown-up scout car in a minefield facing the German 90th Light Division. And on the corpse was a map purportedly showing the locations of British minefields. And the Germans used the map and their tanks were routed to an area of soft sand where they got bogged. Holy shit.

That's smart. Yeah. But there were no mines. So they avoided the mines. Yes. Right? Yep. I mean, you got a positive spin.

You need that. Do they? In a war. Okay. Guys, we lost every tank, but none of them were exploded. So... I wonder if they could have done it so that they put the mines in inverted places. So you're avoiding them, but you're just driving straight into it?

I thought you were going to say that that's exactly what happened. But then, sand, it's ingenious. They just got bogged. Even better. Victimless crime. Yeah, just an annoying, you know, about six hours of digging a tank out. It's really annoying. Why you laugh at them.

Ha ha ha ha. And they're like, we still have guns, idiot. We can still shoot from the tank. You get, yeah, your mate with a little. The land cruiser. Yeah. It'll pull you out. Yeah, that's right.

Don't worry about it. I've got to show you a video, my brother, full driving recently and his car, like, completely vertical. It was, I watched it and thought, wow, my brother and I have different lives. I've got... That's fun for him. Schoolmates, I've got to do that, like, regularly. And I'll often post videos on Facebook.

And I'm always like, this... It kind of looks amazing. but also it just looks tedious. Yeah. You're basically being bogged for fun. Yeah. Remember when I parked that van well in the UK and we celebrated? I was about to say, I don't think you and your brother lead different lives at all.

Now I've seen you park that van. Yeah, but I told him about it and he went, yeah, cool. But he didn't see how tight it was. It was ridiculous. Honestly, most impressive thing I've ever seen. That van was bigger than any land cruiser as well. Yeah, you're right. And I did have a vertical at one point.

But that was unrelated. That was an accident. Do you see your brother's tiny car? Whatever, mate. We could all do that in a car that small. Yeah, your zippy little number. Come on, get a real car. That's a remote control car.

What is that? How many seats has got five? How about nine? Almost double, but not quite. For three people. It was stupid. We had too much room. The year before?

Not enough. This time too much. Next year, just right. We overcom. It's out for sure. Anyway. So unrelated, another time in September of 1942, an aircraft flying from Britain to Gibraltar crashed,

killing all on board, including Paymaster Lieutenant James Haddon Turner, who was a courier carrying top secret documents. In amongst his documents, which were genuine, by the way, this wasn't a setup, was a letter from the American Deputy Commander of the Allied Expeditionary Force. There's lots of big words to the British Governor and Commander-in-Chief in Gibraltar, telling him that General Dwight D. Eisenhower, the Supreme Commander, would be arriving on the 3rd of November.

So Turner's body washed up on the beach and was recovered by the Spanish authorities. And the Spanish, because again, they were neutral, they returned the body to the British. And the letter was still on the body. And technicians determined that the letter hadn't been opened. So it was a really close call for the British. Right. If they'd opened the letter, then they would have known that the big boss was coming on a certain date. and they could have attacked.

So those were unrelated, but it sort of led for a little bit of inspiration because a month after this plane crash, a British intelligence officer called Charles Chomley came up with his own version of the trout memo, but he gave it a code name Trojan horse. Right. Trout fishing is a lot like a Trojan horse.

Also, Chomley spelled C-H-O-L-M-O-N-D-E-L-Y. Chomley. Chomley. And that's not chom andaly. I had to look it up. It's chomley. That's... Where's he from?

It sounds like a very English thing to do. Yeah, he's English. It's like Lester is really Lechester or something. Yeah. Worcestershire is Warchestershire. Yeah. They chop out syllables willy-nilly over there. I mean, laugh at you.

It's almost like they've set up a little bit of sand for you to get bogged in. And then they laugh at you. Ware operation mince me. Yeah. Just a word of the wise out there. Never say debut in England. People will laugh at you until they start punching you in the face. Debou as opposed to debut.

Yes, they're very similar sounding words. I can't hear the difference. I was semi-joking when I brought up. Did you just laugh at him saying debut? Because I couldn't work out why they were laughing. And then they were like, yes. Oh, I was kidding. They were not.

So Charles Chomley, he came up with Trojan Horse. And this is what he wrote. He said, a body is obtained from one of the London. and hospitals. The lungs are filled with water and documents are disposed in an inside pocket. The body is then dropped by a coastal command aircraft on being found. The supposition in the enemy's mind may well be that one of our aircrafts has either been shot or forced down and that this is one of their passengers. So a little bit about Chomley. He was a flight lieutenant in the Royal Air Force and was working with MI5. He was the secretary of the 20 committee and intelligence team in

charge of double agents. They'd originally turned down this idea as, they said it had potential, but it was unworkable. But the chairman of the committee, a guy called John Masterman. How's that spelled? Masterman Shiro? Masterman. Right.

Yeah, it's Master Man Shire. But I looked it up. Silent Shire. So the Shire is silent. You fuckers. He saw that there was a connection to the Navy and this idea. And so he assigned Ewan Montague as the naval representative to work with Chomley. on this plan. Montague had a pretty unique and cool sort of skills as well. In peacetime,

he was a lawyer in King's Council and during the war had been working under Godfrey, so Ian Fleming's boss, running a subdivision naval intelligence which handled counter espionage. So now we've got two very intelligent men working together. And they had some help, of course. They were assisted by an MI6 representative, Major Frank Foley. Does that name ring a bell at all? Frank Foley. So he was sort of helping them examine the practicalities of the plan. So Frank Foley, just as a side note, he worked as a passport control officer in Berlin,

which was a cover for his main duties as the head of the British Secret Intelligence Service, so MS6. So he's the head. And he's working undercover as a passport control officer. He used his role as passport control to bend the rules and helped thousands of Jewish families escape Nazi Germany. Some say tens of thousands. Wow.

He's remembered as a British Schindler and has been recognised as British hero of the Holocaust and as a righteous among the nations, which is a big award from non-Jews who helped Jewish people. That sounds like a report in itself ready to go. Holy shit. He sounds insane. Yeah, well, that's obviously amazing.

But I am also still surprised that the head of the intelligence would not be, you know, in England, like, you know, working behind a desk type thing. Maybe timeline-wise, I don't know. Yeah, maybe I did that earlier or I don't know. Yeah, but still, like, wow. Yeah. What a guy. I'd promote him.

Yeah, I reckon too. Thousands and thousands of people. And so, and what is, he's part of this mission? Yeah, he's sort of overseeing it and helping them just with the practicalities of the plan. So they've got this guy helping them with the logistics. And they enlisted the help of a pathologist to find out what kind of body they needed and what factors they'd need to take into account to fool a Spanish pathologist when the body was recovered. I've got to translate it.

What if pathologists, they're blood, are they blood people? Yeah. They just take your blood. Their pathology is blood, but I don't know now, but back then they would have been the ones doing autopsies and stuff like that too. So they got Sir Bernard Spilsbury, who's a very famous spilsbury. Yeah, that's full of great names. The names are incredible. So, like, normally Chomsbury would be the best of the best, but...

Spillsbury. I think Spillsbury. This name still exists. I just don't feel like you come across them as much. Spillsbury? No. They all sound so English to me. Yeah.

Which, like, I mean, England is a very diverse place, but, you know, that sort of old-school idea. Yeah. Someone wearing Tweed and stuff. Yeah, I'm Bernard Spillsbury. Yep. He was a very famous pathologist and worked on a number of famous murder cases in England. So they consulted him for a bit of help. And he told them that they didn't need to worry about filling the lungs with water

because most people who die in air crash often die from shock, not drowning. So don't have to worry about filling their lungs with water. Really? You die more on the impact of the crash rather than... Oh, I thought you meant shock like, oh no! I'm shocked! I suppose you probably could in your heart stops. Right.

A big enough shock, not like a boo, you know? Yeah. boo, you're falling from a plane. Oh God, I was having a sleep. I'm shocked. So yeah, he said... But my hiccups are cured. He also added an interesting point.

He said Spaniards, as Roman Catholics, were averse to post-mortems and did not hold them unless the cause of death was of great importance. So they probably won't check that thoroughly, basically. So if you just find an English soldier's body, they're not going to be too suss. you cover your bases in other ways. So he's like, don't worry too much about it. Wild. So now they're feeling pretty confident because it's probably going to work better than they'd originally thought.

But finding a body to use was going to be difficult. Yeah, having someone put their hand up for something like this would be tough. Yeah. All right. I'll do it. Fill my lungs. Well, that guy's so confident that no, they won't bother checking. He's like, don't even use a body.

I'll do it. Mint's meat. Yeah, I'll just like. Go get a couple of pounds of minced meat. And a coconut for a head. They won't check. Honestly, these guys are lazy. Don't worry about it.

It's hot there. It goes to their head. So they need a body. So they spoke to the coroner for the Northern District of London. A guy called Bentley Purchase. That sounds like a drag name. That sounds like something that Shrewsbury would do on a weekend. One Bentley purchase, please.

So good. purchase. He's a coroner. Oh my God. He's a coroner for Northern District of London. And he said, I should think bodies are the only commodities not in short supply at the moment, but even with bodies all over the place, each one has to be accounted for. So he said he'd look out for a suitable body, someone that didn't have family members

claiming them. A couple of months later, in January of 1943, Purchase contacted them to say he'd found a corpse that would work for their plan. His name was And it's a Welsh name And I had to look it up Glindor Glendor Michael

There's a Welsh man Who'd been living on the streets In London I like that But it's G-L-Y-N-D-WR Cool, Glindore I've never heard That's a great name

Glendor Glendor Michael So yeah he'd been Michael bit bland To be honest But as a surname It's so strong Is a surname bit of fun

That's true You know George Michael That's fun You'd normally say Oh this guy's got two first names but I'm, you know, Glindor, I can't say for sure. We don't know. So would you prefer if his name was Michael Glendall?

Oh, now he sounds like a superhero. That's great. That's very good. He'd been living on the streets in London and he'd died after eating rat poison. Oh, I've told people so many times. Don't do it. Not worth the risk.

Stop eating it. I know it tastes good, but it is not worth the risk. It's not. Some people, most rats and some people will die after doing that. Yeah. So he learnt the hard way. if you're in some sort of, if Poirot's in the neighbourhood or Mrs Marple.

Just don't invite them around. Or the woman from who murder she wrote. Angela Lanserangelo. If you see Angela around. Certainly do not eat any food with rat poison in, especially if your husband is out to get you. You should know if someone's out to get you.

You should get a vibe, I reckon. If you think your husband's out to get you, he is. I think that's probably true. Yeah. If you get that vibe, that's sense. I'm probably being silly Anyway, he's offered to cook me dinner for the first time ever

And I've just come into a lot of money Oh, my life's really turning around And Poirot's staying in the B&B next door What are the chances? I was about to leave my husband And he would have got nothing But now He gets out around

He's giving me a goodbye meal He's taking it really well So yeah, they Gly Gondor had died from eating rat poison. Percher said that the small amount of rat poison in the body system wouldn't be a problem as it wouldn't be identified in a body that was supposed to have been floating in the sea for several days. They wouldn't even be looking for it.

One problem Montague had was that Michael was very thin and sickly, obviously, from living on the street and not having access to food. Holy shit, he ate rat poison because he was hungry. I didn't really think about why he might have done it. I thought someone had killed him, like his wife or husband. No, he was living on the street And rat poison's just out there It's one of the only

I read somewhere that it was like a Like a paste that they'd put on bread Oh So Well that feels like But yeah So it was an accident Other said he probably took his own life

Hard to know But the actual cause of death was a rat poison Pace They actually have rebranded it Now it's called Marmite Ha ha ha ha You don't have the balls to say that When we're in the UK

Did you? No, I pander. I pander when I'm over. No, I would have said it. I would have said it to their faces. I reckon they normally have some pretty good comebacks over there. Yeah, they sure do. Got to check in and ask, so when we left the UK, you had the Marmunt taken off of you.

Yeah. So through security, you can't take liquids, you can't take gels. Apparently, you can't take paste either. Yeah. Well, that's how liquidy it is, Marmite. Not like a beautiful, thick, proper spread like vegetables. you might. But the security guy packed it up and said,

we can mail it to you if you pay for the posted. And he gave me a tag and I had completely forgotten about it until you mentioned it then. I'll check that out. Yeah, so apparently I can look it up online, put in the code and it'll say how much it'll cost. And if it's, he said it might be about 10 pounds, which feels like probably about right for two jars of, I've no idea, including, you know, mailing from across the world.

I'm sure you can get Marmite here. I've seen it in shops. But the Marmite, you can get at shops as normally the New Zealand one. Right, okay. Which is in a different, it's a very different child. But can you get the peanut? Because I got peanut butter Marmite. But also, the one time you had the option to have Marmite,

you spread it and went, oh, yuck, and you didn't even eat it. The consistency looks so bad. I don't think you should pay that money. Well, I also did that knowing I had a jar of it. I'm like, I'll do it asunder better. Like, it just made me feel queasy looking at it. Right. Because it was kind of runny.

It took me by surprise. Now that I know that. It was almost like a honey consistency. Yeah. Not really. That's stickier. Anyway. Yeah, it didn't look good.

Didn't look good. But you'll never know now. No. But I mean, I still am confident it's worse than vegamite. But I reckon it probably tastes something like vegamite at the same time. Do you think it's better or worse than rat poison? I reckon a little better. But I think it's one of the, I find it fun to have, like, draw a line between things that are so close.

I love vegamite. but there's marmite. I wouldn't throw it at my mum if she was on fire and only marmite would put it out. You know, I wouldn't. God, you don't even care about your mum. Yeah, that's how much I hate marmite. It makes me not care about my mum.

Mar might burn. Mar might burn. Ma might burn. Mom being another word for mum. Got it. Ma might burn. Okay. Okay.

You said got it. And then I think then you got it. I didn't get it at all. Got it. If I say got it, we can move on. I was like, I'm just trying to get back into the half of the sentence. I was up to.

Rat poison. Rat poison. So Montague, he had an issue with the body because it was very thin and thickly. Oh, yeah, too thin. He didn't think it would pass for a fit, healthy soldier and it would raise suspicions when the body was found. So they just draw rabs on him? Get the beak out.

This will sort it out. It's all that contouring. Purcher said he doesn't have to look like an officer, only a staff officer. It's a little desk jockey. They're not ripped, don't worry about it. So Purchase agreed to keep the body in a freezer at 4 degrees Celsius or 39 degrees Fahrenheit. Keep it crisp. Any cold when the flesh would freeze, and then it would be obvious, which would be obvious after the body had defrosted.

Yeah, it's like bread. You can freeze at once. Yeah, you can't de-frost and refreeze. What happens if you refres? I never tried. If it just, like it changes on a molecular... scale. It just is a different thing all of a sudden.

Yeah, all of a sudden, it's a shoe. It's a shoe now. Put on your feet, fine. But don't try to eat it. Don't try to eat it. Is that how shoes are made? Yes. Wow.

They're bread frozen, de-frosted, frozen shoes. Even vegamite couldn't make it better. Couldn't make it edible. And different types of shoes are different types of bread. Name a shoe. Croc. That's a cobloaf. Chelsea Boot.

That's a multi-seed Cienna. No, not Sienna, Vienna loaf. Oh, I love that. That's a delicious shoe. It's delicious. What about a thong or a flip-flop? That's your classic tip-top. Tip-top flip-flop.

Tip-top, what? Yep, tip-top flip-lop. Et cetera, et cetera. And so on goes the list anyway. So he... Let's do seven more. He told... So he's like, okay, I'll freeze the body,

but he told Montague and Chomley that the body had to be used within three months or it would have... It would have decomposed too badly. You used to buy it on the bottom. I ever told you that I used to work at a supermarket. Oh, God, where's this going? And I...

We're talking about frozen bodies. Frozen bodies. Oh, okay. No, but in the bakery, I noticed just from putting out bread one time, in fine print on a lot of the bake goods there, it says, or it used to, say, thawed for your convenience. That's maybe my favorite ever. been.

We've done your favour. Legally, we have to tell you that this was frozen. But? But how do we sell this? Because how annoying is it thawing bread? You know? Oh, it takes forever. But don't freeze it or it will turn into a shit.

It has been frozen before. Anyway, so they've got three months. So they have to get to work fast. And this might be one of the best sentences I read. Montague selected the code name mincemeat from a list of centrally held available possibilities. They had a list you can pick from And mincemeat was on it Man, I hope that was someone's job

Just to write down possibilities Yeah He's just going through the roll at X Oh minceman That sounds pretty cool He's like looking around the room Happened to have the grocery list there He's like, all right

All right, all right Aircon they definitely had that then Weird switch What is that for that little switch over there? Don't touch it Christmas tree Mince meat Ex wife

What are you doing here, Jenny? You won't be back. I reckon, although I still don't know fully what this operation is, I reckon part of why people love it, and it seems to still be a popular thing to talk about, is the name. It's so good. Operation mincemeat is so good. Yeah, and it just came from a list.

I find that so funny. I reckon you're right. It was a shopping list. Mint's meat, eggs. Operation Marmite doesn't sound as good, does it? No, that sounds gross. It was good. Pork texture.

A little runnier than it should be. So the plan was to place documents on the corpse and then floated off the coast of Spain, whose neutral government, nominally neutral, was known to cooperate with the German military. Montague and Chomley began to create a fictitious background and character for the body. They chose the name William Martin and gave him a rank of captain acting major of the royal, of the Royal Marines assigned to combine operation headquarters. As a Royal Marine, Major Martin came under Admiralty Authority and would be easy to ensure that all official inquiries

and messages about his death would be rooted to the Naval Intelligence Division. So they'd have word. Royal Marines also wore battle dress, which was easily obtained and came in standard sizes. So they're like, well, that'll be easier to get. The rank of acting major made him senior enough to be entrusted, with sensitive documents, but not so prominent that anyone would expect to know him. So when they'd heard that this...

Right. He's not an A-list enemy. Totally. Or that when, like... Because they're keeping it secret, obviously, from the Germans, but also, like, their own people, too. Right. So there's any spies, whatever, doing a bit of digging. I haven't heard of this.

William Short was a... Yeah, what's going on here? William Martin. So I think that's why they're probably on with a forgettable name as well. And Martin... Which Dave just proved there. William Short, I've never heard of it. I read that there was...

like heaps of Martins as well. Martin was a really common surname, so it was just sort of, oh, okay, it's just another Martin. It wasn't a really weird name. And he said also, the announcement of death is rooted through that naval stuff. So if anyone did ask, there is a record. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's dead. Yeah, exactly.

But they wanted William Martin to be more than just a soldier. They wanted to sell that he was definitely a real man. They wanted him to be sponsored by Adidas. So they added pocket litter, things to paint a picture of a, of a life he definitely lived and that was not made up by two men in a boardroom. Unused condom, he's a virgin. Musk lifesavers. He loved Musk.

He loved Musk. He has a vivid picture's been painted now. Hated mint. Yeah, yeah. He's got a packet of mint that he's clearly crushed up. He doesn't want mint. They included a photograph from a made-up fiancé named Pam. Oh, yeah.

Attractive, but not too attractive. Not out of his league. Yeah. But it was actually just a picture of a clerk. from MI5. Her name was Jean. Sorry, Jean. Sorry about that. Didn't realize who was going to be a real person. There was also two love letters from Pam that were included,

as was a receipt for a diamond engagement ring costing 53 pound. That's funny. Wow, but not the ring. Not the ring. In their back story, you reckon he's already proposed or he's thinking about when he gets home? Well, it says fiancé, so maybe they've already, maybe she's got the ring. But for some reason, he's still holding up to the receipt in case it doesn't work out.

I've got to return it. I've got 30 days, Pam, so. So he's a tired-ass virgin who loves musk. I imagine he's just got lots of notes in there, just over-explaining everything. Yeah. He's like, oh, today, quick note to remember you are engaged and your name is Martin or William. Much love William Martin in brackets, maybe short. Can't remember.

In other brackets, definitely engaged. In other bracket, it's definitely real. No, it's like, hey, hey, mate, you just do you. Believe in yourself, Martin. You're a real person. I believe in you because you're real. If I die, I definitely don't check my body for rat poison. Why would I come into contact with that?

Anyway. Bye! I do like rat poison a little bit, so I ate a little bit if anyone finds it that's true. But I'm microdosing. There's no way I'll die from it. Actually, I've built up a result to it. So they also went to extremes to ensure that the letters would remain illegible after they'd been immersed in seawater.

They like carve them into stone. No, Montague asked MI5 scientists to conduct tests on different inks to see which would last longest in water. And they provided him with a suitable list of popular and available ink brands. Oh, it's much like Bond, you know, when he goes and goes, you got anything exciting for me? And they go, yeah, here's a list of pen brands. Go to the local news agency and pick one out.

We've got Bick, Biro, Papermate. Take your pet. There are theories, and I think, and I didn't read heaps about this for this story, but like the character of M in James Bond, I think, is partly based on Godfrey, his boss. Oh. So there's like, there's definitely a little bit of James Bond in here. The way that started, you know, trying to come up with a kind of ink that would work underwater. I'm like, that is cool, low-key Bond stuff.

Yeah. But the result being his list of brands of ink. Big Penn should be fine. Should be right. That's so funny. It's so funny. So they just kept adding things And I don't know how Biggie's bag was

But his pockets are so full He also had He had a book of stamps A silver cross And a St Christopher's medallion Cigarettes matches A pencil stub, keys And a receipt from a shop

For a new t-shirt he'd just bought To provide a date that Martin had been in London Ticket Stubbs from a London theatre show And a bill for four nights lodging At the Naval and Military Club Were Added So he's got all these receipts Sort your pockets out, mate.

It's like George Costanza. This is too. Why is he carrying it all? I was thinking, why is he carrying all this? And then I was like, oh, all of that's on my phone. Okay. This is pre-phones. Does he keep that for tax time?

Is that with the plan? He's trying to claim the... He's taking it with him on a mission. It's... In a plane. You're like, oh, I better keep this theater receipt. And not in a bag. It's all in his pockets.

Yeah. I mean... Does it get suss at some point? You know, would they have been wiring if they... Yeah, it does feel like it's bordering on too much. You know those movies you're watching? It's like all exposition at the start? Yeah.

This feels like he's like that personified. It's not even done. They're still working on it. Because they also made attempts because he needed some sort of like ID. He needed an ID card. So they tried to take a picture of him for the ID card. But it was a little too obvious that it was a corpse. He's already dead.

They tried. They were like, well, we'll just take a photo of him. How? Anyway. This is a real, I was going to say, this is a real guy, just get one of his photos. But he wasn't a soldier, yeah. Wasn't a soldier. And he was living on the street so he possibly didn't have a photo album or anything.

So Montague and Chomley then conducted a search for people who resembled him. And they found Captain Ronnie Reed, who worked for MI5. And he agreed to be photographed for the ID card. Tony Reid. Ronnie Reed. How similar do you think he looked? I mean One of the chances in their office

There's someone that looks like him Well I think I mean It's close enough Have you seen old photos All people look the same Yeah Yeah actually that's true You look at your grandparents' photos

And you're like Is that you? And also when they find a body It'll probably already I mean It would have been decomposed It's not going to look perfect Yeah right

So it just has to be passable I like the idea that it is Just there you go Oh geez he's badly decomposed Oh no he's his idea That's just how he always looked. He probably just died now. He might be alive, actually.

I don't know. So it was amazing. So they've got a picture of Ronnie Reed wearing the Royal Marine uniform. They thought of everything. The ID passers looked too new for a soldier who'd been serving for a while. So they issued them as recent replacements.

Oh, yeah. So it was like, no, he lost him and he's just got new ones. Like they've thought everything through. Did you write that in a letter to his phone? I can't believe I lost my idea. D-card it can. Lucky I got these replacements just the other day. And then Montague spent three weeks

rubbing the passes on his trousers so they looked at you. Three weeks. Did he stop for three? No breaks, no rest. He never went to bed. He's what I've come to bed. No, I'm doing this for my country. He just wore out seven pairs of jeans.

Just rubbing it. So weird. They also needed a uniform. They needed to look worn, you know, well worn. So Chomley put on the uniform and just wore, around to break it in. He wore it around just constantly rubbing. He's just like doing weird movements just to loosen up those shoulders.

Yeah, doing the snake. Yeah. He's on the floor. He's doing yoga in the suit. So the body's just about ready and they need to sort some fake documents to fool the enemy. So Montague outlined three criteria for the document that would contain the details of the falsified plans to land in the Balkans. He said that the target should be casually but clearly.

identified and that it should be an unofficial correspondence that would not normally be sent by diplomatic courier or encoded signal. So the main document basically was a personal letter from Lieutenant General, Sir Archibald Nye. Archibald Nye. Lieutenant. Is that an, that's a different... Lieutenant General.

Oh, Lieutenant. Because I haven't heard of some of these titles. Yeah. I would not have been surprised there was another one. Lieutenant. Lieutenant. Lieutenant General. He was the Vice Chief of the Imperial.

General Staff and he had a deep knowledge of ongoing military operations. So the letter was from him to General Sir Harold Alexander, who was the commander of the Anglo-American 18th Army group in Algeria and Tunisia under General Eisenhower. I don't understand any of this and I do a lot of reports on World War II and I don't get it. But anyway... But basically, well, they're just trying to set up. Letter from two high-ups.

Two high-ups saying, hey, we're going to land in the Balkans. Exactly, from one high up to another. after several attempts at writing a fake letter they kept coming up with things that didn't feel natural I just loved the brainstorming going on in this situation It doesn't feel like it's him Just pacing around the border and going No no no

Again they're scrunching up paper and throwing it So it was suggested that Nye should just draw up the letter himself Give him the criteria and he'll write a letter So he did Do it in your voice Nye Yeah Here's what we need you to cover But he did it

And the letter that Nye wrote was perfect, and it identified Greece as the target. But that was a dummy, as the real plan was to invade Sicily. Oh. There was a couple of other letters as well, one of which had a single black eyelash placed within it to check if the Germans or the Spanish had opened it, when it eventually made its way back to the British. That is a super James Bond thing. There's one James Bond movie with Sean Connery where he gets a piece of hair and licks it and then puts it over a cupboard to see if someone's opened it. Oh.

Like sort of, yeah, sort of sticks against two. Yeah, against the, it's a sliding door and if they open it, he'll know. Yeah. So that is Super James Bond shit. Yeah. An eyelash. He's going to volunteer one eyelash. Don't try, Matt.

Did you get one? Oh, ow. The planning team first thought of having the handle of the suitcase clutched in the corpse's hand because they're like, oh, Riggerboarders, it'll stay there. But then they realized that Rigger would probably wear off and the briefcase would just drift away. That would suck. That would suck because that's where all the documents are. So they therefore equipped him with a leather-covered chain like ones used by bank and jewelry couriers

to secure anything from people grabbing them. So it has a chain that runs down the sleeve to the case. But then Montague thought it seemed unlikely that the major would keep the bag secure to his wrist during a long flight. So they looped it around the belt of his trench coat. And I think it through. You're not going to hold it the whole time, are you? put it on your on your belt.

Right. So it's handcuffed essentially to his belt. Yes. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. That's a tricky one.

Because it does feel like there's a lot of real little red flags. But also, it's the kind of thing. You know, when you're always paranoid when you're playing a prank?

Yeah. Or like planning a surprise party? You're overthinking. They're going to notice, oh, no. Of course they know. But no one else is thinking, oh, they've got a surprise party for me.

Exactly, unless you may, and then I'm thinking it every birthday and other special occasions. And what's super likely to happen? Like tree day? Oh, God, I want a surprise tree day party so bad. It's coming up. Probably. So anyway, so the body and the documents are ready to go. Now, how do they get the body to where they need it to be?

So it's supposed to be, it's supposed to look like it's a victim of an airplane crash, but it was decided that to try to simulate the accident at sea using flares and other devices could be too risky, too obvious, you're out in the open. They consider it seaplanes and surface ships, but they were all too risky and too obvious to the enemy. So a submarine was chosen as the method delivering the corpse to the region. I love submarines. They don't make any sense.

They're so dumb. It makes sense in war, I guess. But the rest of the time, why do you have a... Why do you do something? I know. I've been regretting getting one, to be honest. You don't need one. I know. And you know what?

You don't need two. Yeah, well, after you get one, it looks weird. Yeah, yeah, in the garage. Two, you got a couple. You got a pair. Yeah, that's true. Oh, man. Also, one time I had a few drinks after I went to my underwater lair.

So I had to get an Uber boat home, a U-boat. And so then I'm like, oh, how do I get back? Then I don't have paid for another Uber. It's already so far down the path of may as well just by another submarine. But then they were both down there. Yeah, well, I know. I'm not saying it's a perfect solution. So you had to take a friend down to drive them.

Because at first I tried to drive them both back at the same time, you know, just out the window one, but that let all this water in. Can one tow the other? Where were you? Honestly, where were you? Why don't you call me? You should always call me for these things. I'm so smart.

Should have towed one. I'm so smart when it comes to submarines. I'm like, I'll tow one. But then I thought, well, I'll tell me. A land cruiser doesn't work under the ground. It's in the name. But I didn't think, yeah, submarine. Sub-to-sub.

Sub-to-sub. So they dropped him off into sub. Please tell me they fired him out like a tommy. With the suitcase attached to his jacket. I'm so disappointed. Fly a torpedo one. That would have been so good. So that's their plan.

They're like, we'll get a submarine. So they had a meeting the 13th of April, 1943. By the time this. happened, the war has been over for three years. It's the longest process. It's been going on for six months. It took three weeks just to scratch an ID card. I don't know.

Fucking hell. So the committee of the chief of staffs had a meeting and agreed that they thought the plan should proceed. And the committee informed Colonel John Bevan that he needed to obtain final approval from Winston Churchill. I was about to say surf shirt. That's a band. And two days later, he met the prime minister who was in bed wearing a dressing gown and smoking a cigar.

And he warned Churchill that there were several aspects that could go wrong, including that the Spaniards might pass the corpse back to the British without the papers being read at all. Well, that would be nice. Thank you. Thank you. But we really wanted you to do some spying. No, no, no, no. No, just give to someone else. So it could be for nothing or it could just completely fail.

Who knows? All that work. Imagine that. Yeah. You know how they had that guy wore the uniform for three weeks or something? Yeah. It feels like surely they could have got a uniform off a soldier who just gone, here's a new suit for you.

We'll take your old one. We'll replace him or something. Yeah, that could have made sense too. They got him a new one and wore it in. So anyway, John Bevan's told Churchill, look, it might not work or they might just send him back without the papers being read. And Churchill replied that in that case, we shall have to get the body back and give it another swim.

The Spanish people go again. What? How's this guy turned up again? Anyway, so in the early hours of 17th of April, 1943, they were preparing the body of Glendell Michael and dressing him as William Martin. But there was a last minute problem. The corpse's feet had frozen.

Cold feet. Well, if he's getting nervous, maybe we'll have to call the whole thing off. They couldn't get his boots on him, so they had to use little heaters to defrost the feet. enough so they could get the boots on. Probably look a bit suss if he didn't have shoes on when they found him. But they got his boots on.

And he was placed in especially made canister, which was filled with 21 pounds or nine and a half kilos of dry ice and sealed up because that would keep the body preserved without refrigeration. Right. So the canisters placed in a van of an MI5 driver. His name was St. John Horsfall. who outside of the war was a champion race car driver. Wow.

Fuck, yeah. Horseful. Get him to drive our van. And they did. So Chomily and Montague went along with him and as they drove through the night into West Scotland where the canis was taken on board the submarine HMS Saraf. Saraf's commander was Lieutenant Bill Jewel.

Another good name. Every name. I know. He and his crew had previous special operations experience. and Jule told his men that the canister contained a top secret meteorological device. Did I nail that or what? Yes. That was going to be deployed near Spain.

So even the crew on board didn't know what was happening. I was like, yeah, cool, whatever. Whatever, we don't care. Why are you talking about? Oh, my God, can we go? Don't care. You're talking about fly fishing and stuff. All right, whatever, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay. I have to go drive the submarine now. Here comes Bill Jule with another boring story. So Saraph set sail on the 19th of April and arrived just off the coast of, how did we decide it was? Wellver or something. Wellver. Ten days later on the 29th of April. Along that 10 day journey, the submarine had been bombed twice but carried on.

And at 4.15 a.m. on the 30th of April, Saraph surfaced. Jule had the canister brought up onto the deck, then sent all of his crew below, except the officers that were with him. They opened the container and lowered the body into the water. He read a prayer, apparently, and then ordered the engines full steam ahead, and the wash from the propellers pushed the corpse towards the shore. So they sort of sent it off in the direction it needed to go. Imagine they got sucked up.

Oh, no. Oh, no. So they also needed to get rid of the canister, because, like, maybe that would look a little bit suss if they were captured or whatever. So they take it back onto the submarine. They travel for about 12 miles and then they resurfaced again and they put the empty canister. They pushed it into the water and as it floated they just shot it with machine guns trying to make it sink. That's fun. But it didn't work. So instead they just used plastic explosives to blow it up. Way less suspicious. Yeah. Yeah, just going to blow something up. And then

Joel sent a message onto the higher-ups to say mincemeat completed and he continued on to Gibraltar. So the body of Major Martin was found at around 9.30 a.m. that day. So five hours later by a local fishermen and it was taken to the Spanish officials and it was handed over to a naval judge. And a guy called Francis Hazelden, another good name. He was the British Vice Consul. And he was officially informed by the Spaniards of the discovery of an English soldier. He reported back to Admiralty that the body and briefcase had been found. Also, Francis Hazleton is totally in on this and he knows. So there was a series of prescripted diplomatic cables back and forth between Hazleton and his superiors, which continued for several days. The British knew that these were being intercepted,

and although they were encrypted, the Germans had broken the code, and the message played out that the story played out the story, that it was imperative that Hazelden retrieved the briefcase because it was important. The Germans are like, oh my God, that briefcase has got important shit in it. But they know they're being intercepted. They're doing this on purpose. I love that.

Yeah. And still encrypting it. So you've got to make it feel like it's a real fine. Exactly. Because if you just weren't like, oh, get that briefcase, it's got good shit in it. They'd be like, that seems. Too easy. Yeah.

So they're still encrypting. Don't let the Germans read what's in there. Yeah. They'd send the message in German. Briefcase, important, get it. Actong. A couple of days later, at midday on the 1st of May, an autopsy was undertaken on the body. Francis Hazleton was president of the autopsy,

and he wanted to ensure that the Spanish doctors didn't identify that this was in fact a three-month-old corpse. So he said, look, it's hot today. This corpse stinks. Can we wrap this up and get out of here? It's lunchtime. Yeah. And they did.

They're like, man. This corpse stinks. You're like, good point. You're in the wrong gig. Oh, yeah, corpse, no. But it is making me hungry. You guys want lunch? Who's up for burgers?

My shout. And it worked. They signed a death certificate for Major William Martin for asphyxiation through immersion in the sea, so we drowned. And the body was released by the Spanish. And as Major Martin, he was buried. in the San Marco section of a cemetery with full military honors the next day on May 2nd. Fantastic. Is he still there?

Yes. That is pretty amazing. With that, with the fake name on the tombstone? Yeah, because I'll talk about it later. But this entire time, they never revealed who he actually was. Wow. So only like Chomley and Montague and the coroner know. for a really long time.

I'll talk about that at the end. So the Spanish Navy, Navy, they retained the briefcase, and despite pressure from the German intelligence agents, they refused to hand it over. But more and more, the German agents are knowing, they're finding out more and more, they're like, this is really important. We have to have it.

So it gets sent to Madrid and Admiral Wilhelm Canaris, definitely pronounced wrong. He was the head of the German spies. Another word I can't pronounce. So German spies. He personally intervened and persuaded the Spanish to surrender the documents. So some of the Spanish authorities, they basically took photos of everything and sent it on.

They didn't give them everything because they had to give that back to the British. So they removed the paper was still damp. They took it out and dried it. They took photos. Then they soaked it in salt water for 24 hours. I don't really know why. Oh, to make it look like they hadn't tried it? They had to get it out with a cylinder kind of thing.

And they, I don't really don't understand how it works. But like basically they left the envelope sealed. It was sealed with wax and stuff. They got the letter out another way. So, yeah, they basically... At the back door. Yeah, but the... Do envelopes have back doors?

I assume so. So then they put the letter back in the envelope. but the eyelash is gone. Does the eyelash expected to last for like days and hours and sea water and stuff? I mean they don't necessarily disintegrate, do they? But it's also felt like the kind of thing that you'd be like, maybe it just, I don't know. Yeah. It just falls off.

Yeah. But I guess if it's in there sealed, you'd sitiketap it down. Yeah, right. So that's how you know. So then those photos and the information that, that was in the briefcase was passed on to the Germans on the 8th of May, and it was considered so important that some pretty high-up spies took it to Germany themselves.

And a few days later, the briefcase was returned to Hazelden by the Spanish authorities, and he forwarded it back to London. And the documents were forensically examined back in London, and the missing eyelash was noted. So like, okay, they opened it, we reckon. Further tests showed that the fibres in the paper had been damaged by folding more than once, which confirmed that the letters had been extracted in red,

to allay any potential German fears that their activities had been discovered, another pre-arranged encrypted but breakable cable was sent to Hazleton stating that the envelopes had been examined and that they'd not been opened. Right. They knew they definitely had. Jeez, that's smart. And Hazelden even leaked the news to Spaniards, ones that he knew were sympathetic to the Germans. He went to the pub.

He's like, well, sir, they didn't, uh, got away with that. I think I just, I miss this. How long to take for the body to be found? How long was it in the water before? Like five hours. Really? It was later that day. So they just put it in a spot they knew people were around, they would be around.

Oh, because they pushed it towards the shore. Yep, and it was found by a fisherman. So the tide would be coming in. Yeah, and they knew. That feels like, so they just, because it feels like there'd be a chance that might take ages. Well, they did heap. There was so many different potential spots that they were going to choose. don't think this was high up on their list originally, but then with the tides and a whole bunch

of factors, they figured that it would probably work and it did. But yeah, so they dropped him off at like 4.30 in the morning and he was found at 9.30. Amazing. Ridiculous. But obviously, like, having discovered it, it's a fairly decomposed body. They probably would have assumed it'd been in longer. Yeah. Which is also perfect.

Exactly. So final proof that the Germans had been passed the information from the letters came not long after on the 14th of May when a German communication was decrypted and the message which had been sent two days previously warned that the invasion was to be in Greece. So they're like, okay, they definitely think we're going to invade Greece. A message was sent by Brigadier Leslie Hollis. Oh, hello. Brigadier Hollis. Hello, Brigadier. He sent a message to Churchill, who was in the United States at the time.

Still in his robe. Still in his robe. Oh, he's in a robe. Almost definitely with a cigar. Yeah. But the message read, Mincemeat swallowed rod, line, and sinker by the right people. Hook line and sinker, you dickhead.

By the right people. And from that, like, hook line and sinker is a wild thing for a fish to have swallowed all of that. But the rod as well, that's, they've really swallowed this. Imagine a fish is just. That's really selling it. Rodline and Sinker by the right people, and from the best information, they look like acting on it.

So they're like, we fucking got him. Montague continued the deception to reinforce the existence of Major Martin and included his details in the published list of British casualties, which appeared in the Times on the 4th of June. It's a made-up person, but they've added him in there. By coincidence, also published that day

with the names of two other officers who had died when their plane was lost at sea, so it added credibility to his story. Dori somehow, by coincidence. By the end of June, German troop strength on Sardinia had been doubled to 10,000, with fighter aircrafts also based there as support. They moved two divisions to the Balkans from the eastern front. German torpedo boats were moved from Sicily to the Greek islands in preparation.

There were seven German divisions transferred to Greece, raising the number to eight. only one there. They put seven other divisions in there. And there was, yeah, they just went really hard putting all of their people into Greece. And on the 9th of July, the Allies invaded Sicily in Operation Husky. Great Operation 2. For a considerable time after the initial invasion, Hitler was still convinced that the attack on the Balkans was imminent. So they were still taking people out of Sicily to Greece when Sicily was being invaded.

Adolf, we can see them. They're right there. No, no, no. This is just like a small invasion and they're going to hit harder here. They want us to. Oh, no. By the time... Sicily was the decoy.

Oh, wow. They were thinking, yeah, they're thinking Sicily is a decoy and it's going to be even bigger in Greece. But it never was. And by the time the German High Command realized the mistake it was too late to make a difference. Wow. So it was hugely successful. And Montague was appointed an officer of the Order of the British Empire. in 1944 for his part in Operation Mincemeat for masterminding the plan.

Chomley was appointed a member of the order in 1948. And, wrapping it up a little bit, a guy called Duff Cooper, amazing. Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness. I'm pretty sure his first name was actually Albert. Duff is way better. But Albert's still great. Albert Duff Cooper.

Cooper's a really good surname. Yeah. I don't know why, but that's a great surname. You do a lot with it. Maybe it's because it was one of the key families from the O.C. Yes, and almost any name goes with it, you know, except Cooper. Cooper Cooper Cooper? I love it.

Oh, actually, it's all right. I love it. Pooper Cooper Cooper. Hanging with Mr. Cooper. That'd be a cute dog name. Pupa Cooper Cooper. Yeah. Cooper Cooper Cooper.

Cooper did a pooper? Is Cooper a character from Mario Brothers? No. Okay. Good. Yeah. Has Bowser and Cooper? No.

Jess is the gamer I'm the gamer here sorry right in and let us know because there is definitely fucking joking don't at me you nerds Duff Cooper Cooper Beach That was the one

Duff Cooper Oh my God I forgot He was a former cabinet minister Who'd been briefed on the operation In March of 1943 And he published the spy novel Operation Heartbreak In 1950

Was that just a love story? Who knows That's beautiful It contained the plot device of a corpse with papers naming him as William Marrington or something like that, being floated off the coast of Spain with false documents to deceive the Germans. So it was basically the Operation Midsmeat story. He stole it for his book.

The British Security Services decided that the best response was to publish the story of Midsmeat. So over the course of a weekend, Montague wrote, The Man Who Never Was, was published in 1953, which sold two million copies and formed the basis for a 1956 film. Fantastic. And I have a copy of that book because my dad gave it to me. Do you really? Yes.

The man who never was. Because... Have you read it? I have not read the book. Because that's this story. You would know so much about this story. I was going to say, you're being playing it real cool. No, I haven't read the book.

But I still have the copy of the book because my dad was listening to Late Night Talkback radio. And it was hosted by Steve Price, who sometimes appears on the project, which I work behind the scenes on. And Steve Price was talking about the book. He said, I'd love to get a copy of it. So my dad was like, well, you sometimes might see Steve Price. And he gave it to me to give to Pricey, but I never had the courage to give it to him.

So I still just have it myself. You never had the courage to give it to him. He's like, he's famously an angry man, isn't he? Yeah, and I don't really have much of a lot of, you know. He's a shock jock. Yeah. Yeah, and I work more with other members of the stuff, you know. I've interviewed.

I have. He was fairly pleasant to me. Yeah, I imagine him. No, no, he's a friendly man, but I just don't know him super well. Yeah. He's not an eye department. On-air personalities. Yeah, absolutely.

But I've still got... Wow. And I think it's just a great title, the man who never was. It's so good, yeah. So Montague wrote it. He had to obviously leave out some details, careful not to identify anybody who's identity protecting and all that. But like I said before, this entire time,

the real identity of the corpse remained a secret. It wasn't until 1996 that Roger Morgan, who's an amateur historian from London, uncovered evidence in the public records office that the identity of the corpse was Glyndor Michael. So the Commonwealth War Graves Commission had taken responsibility for Major Martin's grave in 1977. But after the true identity was revealed,

the commission added a postscript, Glyndor Michael served as Major William Martin. They added that in 1997. Yeah, it's a weird play, because it's like the real guy's being erased. but now they're saying he basically served in the army just in body, if not mind. So that grave is still there and it has his actual name on it now. Fantastic.

It's pretty crazy. It's a wild story and I think they're making a film or something about it. It feels like they've got to. Colin Firth, I believe. It sounds like a Firthy. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, that's Operation Mincemeat. Fantastic story.

Great story. I mean, that's one of my favorite of, we've done quite a few war. stories. I think that might be maybe my favourite of them. It's most fascinating. It should not have worked. Yeah, just a lot of luck. I imagine they rolled the dice a lot and a lot of them wouldn't have come off. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

But this one did somehow and it worked perfectly. Yeah, because they went all in. It wasn't like Hitler was hedging his bets. He said, no, I fully trust this. Totally. I'm not 100% confident on this, but I'm pretty sure it was like a pretty significant

operation like that attack. I was wondering that. I think so. Do you know more about that, Dev, as a German descendant? Do you know, do you have any... What are you talking about? Is it a Warnockier German name? It is.

My great-grandfather came out from, I think, in 1900 to Australia. Okay. Maybe no, my great-great-grandfather. So well before World War I and two. It's just really... Just to put that home there. You've got a sore spot there, that. drill that home.

Well over a century. But you're also a history buff. Do you, would you know, was it a big one that turned the wall? Jess is saying she thinks it is. I have no idea. Do you? Well, I think there's lots and lots of little things. Because there's so many.

It's hard. Yeah, that's the, because he made big mistakes in he. Because it was the kind of thing that if Hitler made a few different decisions. Yeah. It was pretty hard. He had a strong hand at some point. Yeah. Winston Churchill used to talk about the.

hinge of fate about whether it would go one way or the other. Right. Yeah, and a pretty part of, you know, big part was getting Russia outside. Invading Russia during winter when they were, you know, supposedly your ally was not a smart thing. Right. No one ever invades Russia in winter and lives. And Japan bombing Pearl Harbors is seen as another huge one, bringing America into the war. Mm.

Maybe. Yeah, I'm fascinated by this stuff and I always think, I wish I could, I should go back and just really get, stuck into the whole history. It's so... It's so hard. We must have done 10 episodes on little stories from the two world wars. And they're just all these little battles or people from around it. It's amazing how complex these world wars.

God, it's crazy. But yeah, so... That was... Oh, man, I love that story. I know. I had everything. It's like, of course, this should be a movie. Yeah, definitely.

And they have done other like, it's appeared in TV shows. And I think there was another film somewhere in there as well. There's like a play that they do in Wales now about the early life of Gwendole Michael kind of. Great. They're reimagining. It's pretty interesting. But yeah. How he got his taste of rap.

I think there'll be a film out sometime soon. And it'll be another one of those situations where we do a report on something and then it's a film. That happens quite often. It does. We're very influential, yes. Or yeah, or our listeners pick stories that are so good that are always on their way to Hollywood. It does feel like that happens a lot. Like we do one of the movies announced soon after that it's in development about the topic we've done.

That was a great report. Thanks so much. Bop-a. Absolute pleasure. I think it's funny that I mentioned at the start that we, Dave and I interrupt a bit. I felt that today. We definitely did that. No, just at bad times.

And I was like, oh, there's a good, there's a good line here. I'll start again. No, good on you. Well, that brings us to nearly everyone's favourite part of the show. I think some people listen for the report, but I think most people listen for the fact, the quote, or the question. I believe that's true. The way people can get involved in this is supporting us on our Patreon, which is patreon.com slash do go on pod. And one of the levels, which is called the Sydney-Shineberg deluxe, rest in peace,

memorial level or something like that. And if you're on that level, you get to give me a factor quote or a question. And I read it out for the first time on the show. And I'm going to do that right now. Okay. Okay. Firstly, from Stephen Carter. He's given himself a title, which is another thing yet to do when you give us a

factor of question. And Stephen Carter has given himself the title of Senior Vice Apprentice of Cher Cuzzies. Sher Cuzzies Does that mean anything to you? Dave, do you mind looking that up? How do I spell this? C-H-U-R. C-H-U-Z-I-E-S.

Cher-C-C-C-C-U-Z-I-E-S. Okay. And then his question is, while Dave's looking that up. C-H-U-R. C-H-U-R. C-U-Z-I-E-S. Yeah.

Doesn't come with anything? It could just be a little thing from his life. Yeah, maybe I'll put into two words just in case No much is coming up. Interesting. Well, his question is, if all the mascots of all NRL and all AFL were forced to fight to the death,

who would win for each comp and who would win the grand final? Who would win for each comp? So yeah, who would, who's this, who, I mean, in the AFL. Bombers, right? Bombers shit out of every other. Titans. Well, I think, yeah, the bombers, the bombers definitely. take down all the animals, right?

Yeah, easy. So you've got, because you think of the animals, tigers are the biggest carnivore, aren't they? Dave? Land carnival, is that right, Jess? I don't know why. I always ask Dave, like he knows everything.

What about polar bear? That's not a mascot in either competition. Yeah, but you're saying of land animals. Sorry, sorry, sorry. He's answering your question. Of the AFL. Yeah, because I was going to say, people are going to write in and be like, oh, I don't know the polar bear.

So, but yeah, the bombers are going to beat all them. Then who else are going to beat all them? Saints, my team, you'd think, but they're good. But you've got demons. And then demons. I think both of those sort of are going to overpower a human power plane that drops bombs. Yeah. So saints and demons feel like they're the top.

Blues, of course. Depression does. What is a blue? Depression. Well, I don't know the blues having a blues. It's a musical style or it's a sadness. Right. So you reckon the pilots will get the blues?

Yeah. I think Blues defeats any of those. I'm for us all. But I think Saints versus Demons, who wins, I guess, from your perspective. Demons? Demons. Dave? Who wins that battle?

Say it again? Saints versus demons. Oh, sadly. It's demons. All right. Well, you overall, me, I would have to say the Saints, but two demons are not. So, demons in the NFL, then in the NRL, which I, again, you've got a lot of animals. Rabbits, tigers, Panthers.

but then you've got sharks. Sharks. It's the only one I know. Is it a land fly? If you're in water, they're going to win. Yeah. Big time.

On land, sharks are almost the first out. Storm is got to be pretty big. Yeah. Especially if you're like X-Men's Storm. She's very powerful. Especially if they're also abusing the salary cap. Boom. It was rugby jokes.

Yes. Sorry, league joke. Rugby fan. Rugby league. You don't call it rugby? People who say, if you say rugby, that's rugby union and people in the northern states will get annoyed at you. It's not rugby, it's league. Now, let me tell those people.

When I say rugby, I mean league. And when I say league, I mean rugby union. It's very confusing, but that's how we do it down here. So fuck off. No, it's not, Dave. That's not how we do it. But you're right, the Titans are the Gold Coast Titans. So can Titans beat Storm?

How do you go with it? They've got a three thing. Yeah. What are they got? A trident. Trident. Yes. Yes.

There's also There's the Raiders which are Vikings But they're just humans I'm going to say sharks It's a water-based Yeah And the Titans and the other ones can't swim Okay

So sharks win My vote is absolutely with the rabbitos The rabbits will win The rabbits will win Yeah because I'll just keep breeding They'll never stop I'll never stop Humans try to take them down

With Minja cockle Or whatever Mixed mitoses What's a menja cockle? That's a disease we get. Okay. Yeah, that really backfired. Yeah.

Stop sharing drinks, rabbits. You might get Minja cockle. Okay, so we're saying... Sharks. I think sharks are going to beat rabbits. I would have thought the storm. No. No, okay.

So we're going to go... A storm can't survive in the water. It just makes the water. Once it's water, then what? Sharks. Who moves out of a demon and a shark? Sharks. Sharks are beating demons?

It's in the water. Demons can't swim. Demons can't swim. They're used to lava. It's different. You're just being, because you know that our prime minister loves the sharks. And that's, is that why you're saying the sharks? You're just trying to stay in Scott Morrison's good books.

Yeah. Well, while he's having fun in Hawaii, you're here defending him? That's been bigger than news this week. If anyone's listening at the time. This is going to be very topical. Australia is having awful fires and, and, you know, It has not gone down well that our Prime Minister has left the country. Some people like, let him have his family holiday.

And other people like, maybe cancel the holiday when your country's on fire. Yeah. Yeah, but that's expensive. That's true. Yeah, can't get refunds. If you cancel a holiday within two weeks before you go, you're not getting any pay. We found out when we missed our flight from Dublin to Glasgow. I mean, come on.

Yeah. You miss one flight and then make you pay for another. I mean, what the happen? I was honestly so impressed that we did not have a meltdown. We were all so calm. I was telling a friend about that. We were all very nice. It was fine.

We were great. Oh, there's also the dragons. Dragons are beating a shark. Nah. Dragons, surely. Shark! Dragons can't swim. Put a dragon in the ocean.

And, oh, you got fire breath. Good fucking luck underwater. Shark. It's going to do shit. Well, I feel like I'm not going to be out. Can I, and you're saying sharks be demons. Yes. All right.

Apparently, sharks win. Hopefully you're happy with that answer. Sir? I'd like to call you, sir, Stephen Carter. Do you think Stephen Carter's from New Zealand? Because the only thing that came up for me is the culturetrip.com has 15 Kiwi slang words to help you speak like a local in New Zealand. Oh, must be. And one of them is Qazi, as in sure, cuzy, which is something like, sure, Cusie, this is a sign of affection, significant verbalisation of someone telling someone else. They consider them a friend and an ally.

Cousy is a little more colloquial than the more nationally used mate, but extends the same feeling of brother or sisterhood to the recipient. I reckon that's, I think that's definitely where I'm guessing. I love it when people try to define slang. You know, it's like a brotherly, sisterly, an affection. It's like, it's just a slang word. Love it. I reckon you're spot on.

That's where he's from, I reckon. Yeah, awesome. There you go. I had never heard the phrase sure Cousy before, but I like it. I like it too. And also Maximilian Duke has a question. He's given himself the title of Popper of Bubble Wrap, consumer of Quozo, first of his name.

Am I saying Quozo right there? Yeah. Queso. Good. And his question is, what's queso? Queso. Cheso. Cheese in Spanish?

Q-U-E-S-O. That is. Cheese in Spanish, Keseo. Oh, a cheese eater. Okay. Quozo, I love it. It's a great word. Why do we say cheese like idiots?

Quoza. English is a shit language. All right. Well, Captain Quozo asks, It's always bothered me that there were no teachers of normal academic subjects at Hogwarts. I mean, you're teaching children to mix complex magic potions with no basic instruction in math or science. The potential catastrophic results of giving an 11-year-old a flying broom without even an interest. to drive's education course are astounding.

So let's fix it. What normal, in inverted commas, subject, would you be the teacher of at Hoggworth's? And what would have been your contribution to the final fight against Voldemort from the book slash movies? Podcasting 101. Okay. Welcome to school. You need to know this stuff, guys.

Someone's going to document this and put it out on the internet. You're calling this a normal subject. Yeah. Right. That's fantastic. Podcast 101. going to podcast about Voldemort's demise. Oh, okay.

So, yeah, you've got to document it. Of course. What's that saying about those who write the history books are in charge of it? Winners write the history book? Yeah. What are you saying? Yeah. Winners record the history podcasts.

Yes, that's right. Okay, great. I think that's a fantastic answer. Also a little bit of jazz tap. Jazz tap. Adult contemporary dance. I don't know if you fully understand normal. This was Dave's school experience.

Yeah, at least the subjects I did. I did jazz tap, obviously. What about you, Bop-Bah? I'd be PE and health. Oh, yeah. None of those kids have any sex education. I didn't at my Catholic school. So you'd be getting the bananas out.

But I'll teach them. All right, bananas at the ready. Oh, they can just use their wands. Put a condom on a wand. Oh, that's good. No, they're going to step to the end. Oh, my God. Well, that's an important lesson.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't put it on your wand. But also, I'd be making them run laps. Yeah. Good for the endorphins, good for mental health. Do they do any exercise? Quim, brooming. Brooming.

Brooming. Swip your room. But in the final battle, yeah, they can all run away now. And also, then we'll talk about our feelings. Yes. In a safe, healthy, constructive way. Is it confusing in the world of magic? We have to get a regular broom, but not one that you fly on.

There are flying brooms and cleaning brooms. Do they have those? Do they have clean? Yeah, but do you have to say, can I? Pass the cleaning broom, for example. I think they refer to their flying brooms by their name. Pass the Nimbus 3,000. Pass Kevin, please.

Yeah, I'm going to say, I'll just go off the subject I was best at at school, which was English. They've got to talk. I mean, that's a big part of it. Yeah, do they study Shakespeare or anything like that there? Because a lot of them have to go and live in a normal world. That's what I was wondering. I bet there'll be Harry Potter people who are probably maybe annoyed by this question because I've seen the movies.

Yeah. But I don't, I wouldn't call myself a pothead. Right. I think that, um. Many, many would assume. Many have assumed. Many have and do assume, but I'm not, I'm not a pothead. But, um, I assume that the rest of the year when they're in, uh, muggle land.

Uh-huh. They probably go to muggle school. No. No. Is that not right? They don't, well. You get some home for Christmas, don't you? But maybe like, but they all...

But they call it St. Schwygginsh day or something. You go to Hogwarts when you're like 11 or 12. So what were you doing before then? Right. Were they in normal school? Yeah, well, Harry... Were they just hanging around for 12 years? Your mum can't get anything done.

Harry must have gone to school. He must have gone to school. Yeah. But the guy from pie on the sky didn't let him because he didn't like him very much. Anyway, um, yeah, I don't know. I look forward to the tweets anyway from... from the potheads out there.

Thank you so much, Maximilian Duke. Long term, fact, quote or questioner. Really do appreciate your support. Lover of cheese. Ah, and lover of cheese. And I've started, now we do some shoutouts for other patrons. If you're on the, maybe the DP Cooper level and above, is that right, Dave? I forget one of the levels.

You can see it in the description anyway. And we thank a few people from there. But what I've been doing lately is I've been going back. through our system to find the ones we've missed over the years. And so some people have been waiting a long time. For instance, can I thank Isaac Smith, who we probably should have thanked about two years ago. What? And he's from Leeds in West Yorkshire.

Thank you so much, Isaac. I wonder if we met Isaac in Leeds. Yeah. Probably. Or maybe so furious that we missed thanking him. How about two years? So sorry, Isaac. Well, it's just the sorting system on Patreon has been no good.

It's so bad. It's a little bit like the sorting hat and Harry Potter, you know? Stop trying to make people like you. Stop pandering. Yes. I'm the sorting hat. Shut the fuck up and read some names. I swear to God.

You've got to come up with a game. Oh, yes. We've come up with a game for these people. I've jumped right in to thank, but I have not. I need a game there. We're naming their operation. We're giving them a code name. Oh, a code name.

Not in an operation they have to have, not like knee reconstruction. We were talking about footy teams before, and Isaac Smith is one of the champions of the horseball football club. So could he be somehow related to the hawks? Hawks are already great. Something hawk, I reckon. Something hawk.

Black Hawk down. Golden hawk. Golden hawk. That is good, Jess. Oh, yes. Operation Golden Hawk. Yes. That's so good.

You're picking that of the Roller decks, aren't you? Yeah. In the meeting. Should we go for mincemeat or golden hawk? Golden Don't worry There'll be enough There's a few missions

coming up Don't worry We can do it both We can do them Thanks Isaac Sorry about the The delay Sorry about the huge delay

And similarly delayed Actually looking at it It's probably only about Probably about 20 months Not two years And also I would love to thank From Detroit

Rock City In Michigan That's right Detroit Rock City Motown Yeah yeah That's what the people call it. Sorry, is that what you're sorry?

Yeah. I'd love to thank. Dave, if you could follow his train of thought, please, with a little explanation. I'd love to thank with another fantastic name. Read Tatoris. Oh, Ried Tatoris. Oh, Titor. Tartor, son, Titor.

Operation. Jim. Jim. Membership. I'm going to say jam. Jam. Jam membership. No, Jim Jam.

Oh, Jim Jam. No, it's got to be Operation Jam membership. All right, we'll go with it. I'm going to subscribe to Jam. It's one of those, every month you get a different jam. I've got a jam membership. I love strawberry and raspberry, but marmalade. Not my thing.

So we drop a body in the ocean, and in the pocket it has a 12-month supply of jam. All different flavors. It gives them a real backstory. Who is this crazy Englishman? What flavors? Oh, you'd have straw. raspberry, blueberry, marmalade, do you counting that as a jam?

Dave isn't. I don't like it, but it counts. Fruits of the Forest. Oh, fruits of the forest, one of my favorites. My mum and her siblings' favourite, plum and raspberry. Oh, never had it. Sounds good. Raspberry and plum the following month.

Yes. A slightly high ratio of raspberry. Peanut butter. Peanut butter is a peanut jam, basically. Tell me, tell me the peanut butter isn't just peanut jam. That's a good point. I really thought about it like that.

Honey, that's B jam. Be jam. Oh, I love my B jam. That's about 12 anyway. Thank you so much, Mr. Reed to Taurus. Jam membership. Bopper, so we're just looking at these ones with no number there. Great, okay.

And I would love to thank from New York. Oh. Where? New York, I said, Dave. Honestly, you got headphones on, mate, and I'm yelling into a microphone. You should be able to hear me. I'm listening to another podcast. They're great a shh.

shitty in the world. Great as shitty. That's what I'm trying to do. What was Big Red from David Letterman, the announcer? What's his name? Oh, you're the big Letterman fan. You're the Big Red. Great as shitty.

Fuck. Do you think it was Jacob Sullivan? Yes. No, but that is a great name as well. Thank you, Jacob. Okay, all right. Dave. Operation Collideroscope.

I like that. a lot. That's so good it's got to have already been a real one. I like the word kaleidoscope. It's a great word, isn't it? And I also like kaleidoscopes. They're very pretty. They're very nice to look at. My dad, bringing up Martin Monarchy again, got a certificate from Guinness World Records because he was a primary school teacher and he would build all these things with the kids. Great primary school teacher, I've got to be honest. He went above and beyond every year. But he made these giant kaleidoscopes and they were the biggest ones

in the southern hemisphere. Which is for people who live in the northern hemisphere, you probably haven't heard this term, but it's one of my favourite things we call things, we rate it on how big it is in the southern hemisphere, which means we often, in Australia, can have the biggest things in the southern hemisphere. Like, Melbourne has just built the tallest building in the southern hemisphere. Can you believe it? Melbourne got it. Chadston claims to be the biggest shopping centre in the southern hemisphere.

It's got a hotel now. Cop that, Cape Town. Yeah, Cape Town. Is parts of Brazil, south of? the equator? Yeah, yeah, partially them in Argentina, Chile. Yeah, so actually,

there's a few big countries, but... So funny. It is something we do a lot. Namibia and... A lot of ocean. A lot of ocean. Antarctica. I think the Guinness World Records

were nice enough to send him a certificate because... That's really nice. It was still something. The grade fours was stoked with that. No, it is an amazing thing. I mean, even have the biggest thing in Melbourne is wild,

but the biggest thing in all of Australia, New Zealand and parts of Brazil. It might be all of Brazil or none of Brazil Anyway Very cute But one of those countries is Ecuador is the one that The equator splits isn't it

That would make sense Yeah I think it would Thank you to Jacob And I would also like to thank Thank you so much Jacob Thank you all right I'm losing it I'm taking it

I'm trying to move on I've had a triple espresso Fuck all right That makes sense I'd love to thank from Claremont in Western Australia, Ruth Gat Lodding. Oh, Ruth, Struth. Struth, Ruth, Gat Lotting. Gat Lotting, that is...

That is brilliant. I think today has been the densest episode of Great Names. It's... Honestly, if you would put him in a list, you'd be like, that's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy. Do you want me to do a mind... Mind meld with you, okay?

I'll do the first one, you do the second one without any gap in between. Okay? Dave Lidison, you say Operation, I say a word, just as a word, all within probably two seconds. I'm blanking my mind right now, blanking. It didn't actually happen real quickly. Operation. Dummy. Goon.

Operation Dummy goon. I like it. My brain was going to say Dumbo drop. I can't not think Dumbo drop. And I have to, dummy goon is great. So you're picturing a dummy, which is like an Australian pacifier, but filled with Goon, which is Australian boxed wine. Yes.

Wow. I saw dummies advertised online that you can put little bits of fruit in. Oh. And give that to your kid. Start waning them on to fruit early. Also, fructus, great for those teeth developing. Just let it really soak in there. Can we rot the teeth before they've ever got them?

Thank you so much, Ruth. I'm sorry. Ruth. Oh, Operation. What dummy goon? Where was she from? She's from Australia. She's from Western Australia.

Oh, well, she'll probably have had a dummy goon at some point. Surely. It's part of our upbringing. It's that name you export. They're the two big drinks there. A lot of people between the ages of 14 and 20 here will soak a dummy in Goon, put it in their butt for a real quick Alco Buzz. Go straight in. Now I don't want to tell my story.

What's your story? What's your story? I used to, when I was a baby, I would See? No, no. But you have to finish it now Otherwise,

my imagination will. I would spit out the dummy a lot So my mum used to put it in honey. Shit out the dummy. Mum used to do it in honey and then give it to me. Similar idea. But I would just suck all the honey

off and spit it anyway. Kind of cute. That is cute. With my butt. I did it with my butt. And your teeth survived it. Yep. You got good teeth.

Yeah, I had braces. Cost my parents a lot of money. these teeth. Great. But I didn't have to pay for it, so I don't care. Beautiful. Yeah. If they're listening, which they always are, sucked in.

That thing about putting alcohol in the butt, that is something that young people did do, soaking something and putting up their butt. It's not true. Just drink it. Alcohol, there's such an obvious way to consume liquid. Did people do that at your school? No, no, this was, I think, this was one of those ones that got told in the news by people who were, the wowsers.

Yeah, right. The kids today, they're putting alcohol in the butt. They've lost control. They're pouring it right into their butts But apparently that was a thing Some people It does feel like If you don't like the taste of it that much

But apparently because there's a lot of Blood vessels in your butt So things I don't want to talk about the blood anymore Is such a funny idea Dave, do you have people to think? I'd like to think it's a little bit about Drink in your butt responsibly

That's great advice I would like to thank from Madison West Virginia Oh, Mountain Mama I would like to thank Tyler Thompson Tyler Thompson

Also on the list of great name Tyler Thompson been to patron for a long time now We appreciate Your support Tyler And all right We're going Doing mine meld again

All right Matt you say operation I'll say the word Then Jess can bring you home again It is the toughest position I'm so sorry Tyler Tyler Thompson Let's all

Ready Tyler Thompson Who is in charge of Operation Hook. Leopard. That's good. Hook leopard. Yes.

Don't pander to me. Shut up. Hook leopard. That sounds awesome. It's a leopard with three legs. And one hook. Wow. Hook leopard.

Pretty cool. And the enemy will swallow it. Hook line and leopard. Thank you so much, Tyler. I would also like to think. Tyler Thompson. Really great. Finally now, from Manly, New South Wales.

Home of the Sea Eagles. One of the first teams to be eliminated from our all-out battle, I think. Sea Eagles. You just bring it with a chip with some Panadol and it's going. And to thank a man who needs and has no surname, James. James. James from Manly. We all know James from Manly.

I wonder if James, because there's a band called James, who had a couple of big hits in the 90s. Do you think that's that, James? Who's saying laid? I can only assume, yes. I think it is, yeah. I think it is. So can you work laid into the title? I'm going to say Operation.

Yep. You guys are going to say. All right. Well, I know the word I'm saying. Okay. Go on. So who's going first? Matt, you go with your word.

Okay, great. You blanking? Yeah, yeah, yeah. James from Manley in charge of Operation. Laid. Chicken. How do you come on with it? How does his mind work?

The mind, it bogles. He's a master. He's missing. How do you get this chicken laid? It's a new teen rock calm The 40-year-old virgin chicken Thank you so much This chicken's a real nerd

Just no confidence in themselves That's all Thank you so much All of those people All that leaves us is Thanking a few people Welking them Well goodness

Welcoming them into The Triptitch Club Which is for people have been a patron in the $5 or above level who have made it for three years. And to this point, we've had, you know, it's a pretty exclusive club. But welcoming into the club this week, may I introduce clearly just double checking the dates. I don't think we're actually, there is no one to be entered in. It's make up a name.

There's no one to be entered in this week. I'd like to welcome. Make one up. Oh. You say a name and I'll say a name. Well, do we need to bring anyone in? I mean, let's give it to the club. Gary Schindler.

Okay, fantastic. A beautiful name. But I'm looking here that there will be next week there are three inductees ready to go. That is exciting. We don't just put people in Willie Nilly, apart from Gary Shinler. And Willie Nilly. Willie Nilly. Obviously, Willie's been in.

That is, oh man, we did wrap up because that is fantastic. Yeah, can we go out on that laugh? Throw to a song. And really, oh, very, very funny. In the edit, can we go out on it? Just play the music. I never make you laugh. You always make me laugh.

This is hugely exciting. Both of you make me laugh more than probably anyone I know. What about the time in the UK when I just appeared at the door in a towel? That's funny. That's funny. And it unshooked me. I was shook. I was trying to write a report suddenly you there.

I was like, what the hell? I didn't say this at the start of the episode. This is also our final one for 2019. Oh, goodbye 2019. You've been good to us. Next week we're coming out on New Year's Day. Oh, my goodness. I know some people say not a great year,

but to them I say, whatever. It was good for podcasting. All right, for us is our best year yet. It was huge. We did shows in Adelaide, Brisbane, Perth, Melbourne, Sydney, Thailand and all over the UK. And Ireland. And Ireland. And Scotland.

That's massive. The most live shows we've ever done. The biggest crowds we've ever played to. Thank you so much. More people listening to the show than ever. People support us on Patreon. So for us, it's been, well, we're just loving it. Thank you so much.

We'll put out the bonus episodes. So we did 52 pods. Then we did 24 Patreon episodes. Plus, did you miss a week for primates? Did you do 52 of those as well by the end of the year? I would have done, I missed one for bookchettes at 23. So, oh, man. Listen now is a new podcast we launched on the network, which has done a dozen or so episodes.

Insane. It's been a big year for us. Huge year. So I just want to say thank you so much for the people that have listened. And people who have had a tough year, the beautiful thing is it's about to end 2020. I got a good feeling about it. It sounds great. It really does feel like it's going to be a good year.

Yeah. We hope so. We hope you have a nice end of this year. Sorry to speak for you guys. I assume you think the same. And hopefully you have a beautiful start to next year and we can't wait to see you then. Follow us on all the normal ways that do go on pod on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, at Gmail. If you want to get in contact in a longer way.

We got T-shirts and stuff online, which the shop's having a little break until the new year. But if you can still buy it, you just won't be sent out until early Jan. And yeah, that's pretty much it. Thanks everyone. Thank you, Dave. I'd love to say thank you, Jess and Dave. Thank you, Matt. Thank you, Matt.

Thank you, Matt. Thank you, Matt. Thank you, Matt. Thank you, Dave. Thank you. Stop it. What a great team we have here. I feel very lucky to get to do this podcast for you too. It's hard to be sincere, but thank you guys so much.

It's a real privilege. I could probably say this off air, to be honest. But I won't. He won't. He won't. He will not. He does want to talk to us when the microphone is on. But we're very good friends.

Yes, thanks again for another fantastic year. We will not be missing in episodes. We'll be back the first day of 2020. I'm feeling good. Oh, yeah. But until then, I'll say thank you and goodbye. Later. Bye!

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