Do Go On - 221 - The First Quintuplets

Episode Date: January 15, 2020

The Dionne sisters caused an absolute media and global frenzy, because all five of them were born at once! They were the first set of quintuplets to survive past infancy, and their early life story is weird a wacky.Buy tickets to our live shows here: https://dogoonpod.com/events/Our website: dogoonpod.comSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

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free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. This week's episode of Dugo On is brought to you by three shows at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. All of our shows. Yay! J-E-E-S-P-E-D-Hell-O-L. I'm a bit too de flussy.

We are doing four live podcasts at the European BKFA on Saturday afternoons during the comedy festival and the Patreon presale is currently on. So if you're a Patreon supporter, you can buy tickets now through Patreon and everyone else there will be on sale next week for everyone else. We'll be doing season passes again. We get to basically come to four shows for the price of three all that kind of stuff. But if you want to buy tickets right now, how about your buy tickets to Jess and Matt's stand-up show? Yeah, you should do that.

Just to clarify, we're not doing a show together, we've learned her lesson. Yeah. That's right. Two solo one-hour shows instead. We will not be doing that. Jess, let's plug each other's shows. Okay. So I'll pitch yours.

All right. And then you can pitch mine. So Jess, one of the bests up and coming comedians in the country is a debu solo show. It's called almost the pronounce it Almost. I think I think Jess is actually pronouncing it the traditional almost way. And it is on at 6 p.m. at the Greek center. A great venue, a great time we had. And what a perfect time so you can go out and see a show and then maybe get some dinner afterwards. I'll see another show, perhaps, Jess. What do you think?

Yes, I think you could see another show afterwards. All those things are bad. Go straight to home, get an early night. It's on at six. You can be home by like 730, depending on where you live. Yeah, better, man. Have an average time dinner and go to bed. I mean, if you live at the venue,

you can be home at 701. You can watch some TV, anyway. But if you're really desperate, you could also go, it's also on figures, you were very nice. You don't see much to it's show. I don't know what it's called. It's something dry. Monkey house.

Monkey house. You're going to say you met Stuart in Monkey House. I've gone wet this year. At the, you're at the big hotel this year. Big hotel. What time? 4. You don't even know. I'll say wet this year. At the, you're at the big hotel this year. Big hotel. What time? Four. You don't even know.

I'll say seven or seven. Yeah, there's something around there, I think. Yeah, I was so impressed. You remembered 6 p.m. and the Greeks. I'm really proud of you. You can see a match show on me home by 8.15. And you know what's so great about that? It's like you can hop into bed and like watch TV or something.

You can watch an episode of something. You can still be home and are reasonable. So I'm excited to be able to leave immediately after my show and live a normal life. Well, let me just tell you, if you come to our podcast and Saturday afternoons, you could be in bed by three, fifteen, fifteen afternoons.

How good is that? The dream! Oh man, I think of the amount of episodes you could watch of your chosen TV show. So just to recap, Matt and Justice Shows are on sale right now, they're doing three and a half weeks, 22 nights, so get involved with that. We'd love to see you there.

Go to comedyfestival.com.au and then you search our names. We got to match you at comedy.com or justperkins.com. Yep, dotau. And our show, do go on, the podcast you're about to hear, four podcasts will be on sale next week. So hang out for that, unless you're a Patreon supporter. Generally my favorite time of year, probably.

It's like Christmas. It's like Christmas. Actually Christmas is also my favorite time of year because that is also like Christmas. But I do love the Melbourne International Community Festival so much. Hopefully again we'll see people from all around Australia and the world like we normally do.

And that is real weird and cool. So cool. But real weird. Weird cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like, whoa, weird. Weird cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like, whoa, weird. Do you know what I mean? We're not like, weird.

But at that time, we're like, that's pretty cool. It's like, whoa, cool! And then later we go, four, bit weird. You know? It's not like Jess is auditioning for the voiceover. I'll give you five different months. Tell me your favorite. Alright, let's get into the show.

And I'll have links for everything in the episode description. I say I just will have it. Bye This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates Hello and welcome to another episode of Dugo On. My name is Dave Warner here and I'm sitting here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello David, hello Jessica. Hello Matthew, hello David. Look, I've brought you here to do a quick little intro for the episode that everyone is about to hear. Wow, wow. It's very exciting. Did it have to be involved?

So I believe might be the last non-petra on episode that we'll be putting out from our live shows in the UK tour. Hang on, just so I'm just gonna take a step back there. You brought us in here just for this. Yes, I know you drove 45 minutes for this. What is hopefully a two minute. You said there was an emergency.

Yes. We drove through thick smoke, Dave. My foot was trapped in the toilet. I got it out. I hoped you'd forget. I said the word emergency. And no one would ever And now here we are because that's something that would happen to you know somehow

Well, people say I'm gonna kick the shit out of you I got stuck I called my two best pass. Oh my god. Oh, we were only friends anyway. Yes What were you saying something not shit related? Oh this is the final episode we're putting out from our UK tour, unless you're a Patreon supporter, or we've put out a couple of one, couple episodes, including one recently, our cryptid special. Oh, that was a good fun time. And another one we'll be coming out this month, if you want to support us on Patreon.

But this episode was recorded in Bristol. We went back to the Henan chicken, because we had such a great time there last year. Despite it being quite a small population, when you look at it numbers wise, they really support us in Bristol, we went back to the Hen and Chicken because we had such a great time there last year. Despite it being quite a small population, when you look at it numbers wise, they really support us in Bristol. I think people live there. Yeah, it's crazy.

My old 10 friends. That was a real fun time. It was great. Bristol, I think, is maybe where I had the one edible meal I had in the UK. Oh my God, that pizza was so good. If you want good food, go to the hen and chicken and get a pizza, my God.

And if you don't want good pizza, go to the rest of the brinny where else. They're so close to Italy. How the fuck are they? How are we doing it better? We are so far away. I am gonna go on the record here and say, I enjoyed every meal I had in the UK.

Yeah, because you have incredibly plain taste. No, very bland. You're a basic Very bland. Basic bitch. I love it. Baked beans. Mash potatoes. I'm into that. They. Somehow they fucking up. No, they. Great. I love all the stuff that they do and English breakfast. Yes. I think this is what I fucked up is I was trying to get like a pizza when I should have been just getting. Can I have mash and peas and beans and the stuff they are famous for? Matt was pretty pissed in leads when before the show we all ordered food. You guys got pizza and I ordered the baked potato.

With baked beans and coslo. I look so good. It was so good. Such idiots. And the pizza was... How about the pizza we had at the hotel on the last night? That's the worst of all of them. It was only...

I'm still going to get a taste of my mouth. I've never not finished a pizza. It was a pool of oil in the sass. It was disgusting. I've never met a pizza I haven't finished. And I'm proud of that. I couldn't finish that. That one, I had a slice.

It's like, well, I'm good. And the other thing was it was like 20 pounds or something. It was so bad. Anyway. I had a 5 pound delivery fee to bring it from the ground level, up to level one But we thought hard to go out. We're really treat ourselves, but we didn't we punished ourselves Let me see if it get Uber it's just on a drive the yeah the better pizza in anyway

I enjoyed my veggie burger Anyway, this episode was a Gordon Bristol Thanks to everyone that came to the show it was a lot lot of fun. One of the few times that we actually, because we just stayed so close to the venue, we could stick around and have it be or afterwards with some people, so that was really nice. Um, yeah. Including the famous raw collins from the Wiggly Planet

at work. Yeah. No, what's this? Planet Wiggly. Planet Wiggly. Oh my god. That's been on holidays. It's still warming up with the pipes and the mind.

And we'll be back at the end of the episode to tell you a bit more stuff but until then enjoy this episode more than they enjoy their pizza. It's not hard, it's like enjoy a minimal amount and you'll be winning by tapes. Ladies and gentlemen, people of Bristol, how you doing out there? Well that's good, I can see someone be through this dot, someone's thinking of photo will be right now. This was supposed to be discrete intro hello, thumbs up there, right? Hey, we're actually going to do the show for within here. And the first three rows are getting you.

From partially the skewed view, the rest of you are getting nothing. How do you feel about that? Woo! Someone in the front row just said it's fine with me, okay? I'm taking that as a thanks. Ladies and gentlemen, what I'm supposed to be doing here is building up a bit of energy as we welcome to the stage all the way from Melbourne, Australia.

It's us, please give it up for the boom! Go! Australia, it's us, please give it up for the boom go! Bristol, how you doing? What a pleasure to be in Bristol. What I would call my favorite city in all of this county. So... Alright, I've been asked you a top three there. What's not in the number two? What was Bristol being you? Let them know how important they are. There's no county to dive to a question.

Sucked in. You fucking idiot. You sound quite foolish now having said that. What's that? What does that mean? How's the no-county here? Is that your system? Are we in the one place without a county in the whole country?

Do we slip in a wire, that's it, isn't it? Someone just went, it's complicated. Yeah, alright. We went through the Cotswolds today, we picked a place on the map to go to, the beautiful sounding place, Stroud! Beautiful town! Stroud!

Stroud! That'd be a beautiful spot. Stroud! Cotswolds Stroud, it's all beautiful sounding. Roll up the tongue. Oh, did you tell you something we did today? We drove underneath your beautiful bridge. And it was sensual

Say the least beautiful never seen from below before my guys even better from below. Yeah, we've seen it at all angles now and Yeah, I like I couldn't pick a favorite angle Underneath top five for me Oh, it really is a beautiful place. Thank you so much for coming back. Gives Red applause if you were here last year when we were this fantastic venue. Two people, awesome! Red applause if you've ever heard our show do go on before. That is a relief every time. I'll be honest.

Honestly, I'll learn the scale. Don't be shy, if you've never heard our show before, please cheer now. Great! Hello! Can we get a spotlight on? Well, we don't need a spotlight, because we've got one on the front row. There's always one friend pointing out the one who hasn't listened and the one who hasn't listened is doing exactly Yeah, cuz you're that asshole going

Your friends go fuck you fuck you. Yes. You just go the wrong one the asshole the one who hasn't listened is Where do you live under a rock more or less? Rock? Moralist. What is that sorry? I'm not a man of gold. Bridge? Not a flangle. I wrote it in from Stroud. Is anyone from Stroud in? Bullshit! Yeah. All right, okay, that sounds like someone from Stroud to me. Well, thanks for joining us.

We had a sandwich in your place. In your place? You're working in your house and mega sandwich. Yeah, you name it bread. Um, we destroyed your place. You're working at your house in mega sandwich. Yeah, you need bread. We destroyed your toilet. Yeah, we're gluten intolerant and we're all wrong. It wasn't really wrong. You're laughing at destroying the toilet on you.

I really like that. Have you said it? I know. I know I've never liked Matt's face because he hates poo jokes. He hates him. Well it's because I don't poo. I can't relate to that kind of humor. Yeah.

That's probably a potty humor, right? I don't get it. Oh. You know, good on your guts and shitting at your bum. Oh, god, Australia, it's not a wee beautiful species. Dave, stop the show already. Well, if you haven't heard the show before, it's a few people have it. Just for your benefit, what we do here is we usually take an intense report on a topic

suggested by a listener. And the person doing the topic, it's done on the research, the other two people don't know what it is and it is just Perkins, a lovely team! Woo! Okay, so the people who are wooing, I don't reckon they were here last year, weren't Jess? LAUGHTER I, how you say, fucked up.

Just like, earlier this tour, we did Irish topics in Dublin and I chose Bono and they hate Bono so much with a fiery passion. I thought I was going to die. So, yeah, are you sort of drawing a line between Ireland to Bono, is Bristol to Dr Death, which is what your topic was last year. I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- topic we are. I think she means bono. Obviously, they didn't like Harold Shipman. That's probably almost an understatement to say. They didn't like Dr. Dan. Honestly, bit of a jerk. Didn't pay his taxes. Okay, so we always thought- No, that's the thing about Harold. He always paid. We always start with a question. I've written two. I mean, are you trying to make up for lost time? Yeah, traditionally I don't write them, because I'm a bit of a bit of a maverick like that.

And I forget. But I wrote one question and then I read it backstage and I went, oh, that's probably a bit dumb. So I'm going to try the second question that I just wrote. OK. Well, I think that was worth explaining. Yeah. Just so you all know the process. This question is, what made the Dion sisters Canadian celebrities?

Dion. Mm-hmm. All right, I'm going to need to hear the first question. Wait, can aion, Oh, wait, Canadian. Yes. Beyond Celine. No. Oh.

Okay. Was your answer going to be, what made the famous Celine? Never heard of the other sister? What did they have to do to become celebrities? Ooh. I invent something. They did not invent something. Right, a horse.

They made it. something. They did not invent something. They made it. Together. Oh. Backwards. Upside-end. Are we getting closer? No, not at all. It's even more basic than that.

Something that everybody in this room's done. Pood. That is not technically true. No. No. Does anybody in the audience have an idea? Destroy the toilet. I mean we've all done that at some point. I said that so politely Destroy the toilet

Oh, sorry, I do have to seem to have destroyed your toilet Cheerio You pay for it. It was a Cheerio that too many Cheerios Cheerio You pay it was the Cheerio that too many Cheerios Gluten intolerant Cheerio. No the thing that the deans sisters did to become celebrities was they were born Oh, we have all done that yes, well done that Takes me back Let me explain so in a small farmhouse outside in rural, well done Jess, first sentence.

I'm really worried. Alright, this a while ago to be honest. So we're all reading it, hearing it together for the first time. Okay, in a small farmhouse outside Ontario, Canada. In rural Ontario, Canada, either. Oliver Dion and his wife Elzeer Dion lived with their five children. Ernest, Rose Marie, Taree's, Daniel and Pauline. That's five kids. Okay, Rose Marie. Only a few months after Pauline was born in 1933, Elzea was pregnant again. They're not messing around. Well, they are actually.

Elzea. That question does come to mind and that is, do that know what's causing it? Yeah, I don't know if you can pull that out for a five-kit family. She's pregnant again. Oh. Elzea believed that she was probably carrying twins. five-kit family. She's pregnant again. Oh! Elze believed that she was probably carrying twins, but this was 20 years before ultrasounds, so... 20 years before twins. It was anyone's guess, but she was like,

oh, I reckon I've got a couple in there. On May 20th... You meant like a romantic couple? That's cool. Yeah. No wonder they're famous. It was Charles and Diana. I'my-juckin' that one never romantic. Is that true? I don't know.

Is that true? Because she, because Charles ended up with a bono? No. Camilla. Because she because Charles ended up with Bono no Rock Camilla Parker bowls. So that was where I got the bono from Camilla Parker Bono. Oh boy So she's pregnant she's pregnant very good day On the 28th of May 1934 her husband Oliver called been all of our call for the midwives and a doctor. Dr. Alan Roy DeFoe, amazing, mate.

Arrived and assisted in the birth of not one, not two, not three, but five babies. Oh, that last one was fun. You skipped four. Just jump ahead. So they've gone from five to ten? Yeah. Can we ask the question now? I'll allow it. Do you know what I was calling it?

Even today we know that's incredibly rare. In fact, it's about one in 11 million. But I'm just remembering this is a story about twins. What? When did I say twins? I'm just remembering that this is a story about twins. What? When did I say twins? I'm not sure. You've said two names at the top. What?

Didn't you say... He's a sister. Yeah, I did. Look, hey. Oh, he's great. What's happened there is both Matt and I have gone. There's two here. Idiots. They can make more than two sisters?

What? It's crazy. There's five of them. So it's like incredibly rare now, but back then it had never happened before. They were the first quintuplets. What? The first quintuplets. That is cool. People lost their fucking minds. How did the doctor just keep pulling them out? Oh my god!

Like this woman's like, you're like a decent chef. One under and one Dalmatian. Yeah. So the doctor... You did say she knew she had twins. No, I said she thought she might have been pregnant with twins. Thought might, you jumped to some conclusion. Well, if it was good enough for her, are you saying that a mother doesn't always know? In this case, she did not. Well, that feels a bit rough from you.

To be fair, I don't think any women can see even gone on, I reckon I've got Quinn Toplips in there. She must have been huge. She must be so big. So big. Anyway, let me just continue. So the doctor, he runs into the farmhouse and he told the girls uncle who was in the house about their birth.

And then he ran to the post office and the next town and told everyone there. He ran to the next town. He's just a real gossipy doctor. Is it yelling at people in line at the post office? That's what happens! What? He's already left.

I don't know. That's how they used to deliver the mail. That guy would run from Tandetown. Yelling. Yelling a bridge to versions of the news. Meanwhile, so the uncle, back at the farmhouse, he contacts the local newspaper called the North Bay Nugget. Very good. I've never done one of those. You've never lived. Apparently though, so the uncle contacts the newspaper, but he wasn't contacting them

to tell them about this amazing occurrence. He contacted them to ask how much it would cost to place a birth announcement of the paper for five babies from a single birth. He's like, would it be more for five or... I'm not being honest on the phone, it's like would it be more for five or the best on the phone's like sorry what. So the newspaper's editor immediately put the amazing news out on the Y service and then sent a reporter and a photographer to the farmhouse. He's like oh now I've got to pay for this as well. Yeah, I just wanted to put it under announcement. Within six hours of their birth, the Dion Quintuplets, Avon, Annette, Cecille, Amille, and Marie,

were photographed for the world to see. Six hours of their birth. Five names, what, Cecille and Amille? Why, you've got so many opportunities to not rhyme two of the names. My dad is a... Rhyme all or none of them is what I'm saying. My dad's doing the...

You were doing the... All right, you let me know when I can speak. Well, I mean, to be fair, you did cutting over what I was saying. So it's a weird thing to get upset about, but I'm kidding. I'll cut it in here. It's not Ryan. In my dad's John, but he has assisted Joan, like the female version of his name.

That is ridiculous. There's so many names. Oh, what's happened to you? Do you have, do you know, my girl and my brother? What are their names? Oh, they're John and John. John and John. John and John.

Well, what about Alanis Morissette's dad? His name is Alan. He made up a new name. Oh, guess what, cooler, Alanis? Alanis. Alanis isn't a real name. And that is very ironic. No, it's actually not.

Oh, I love it how you don't like bad jokes here. But you love puns. No. Your country lives on puns, your pun man. That's confusing. What he did was the same. What's the difference? What is a pun? Was that not a pun? Not a pun. Fucking hell, that's confused. Oh bad pun.

A bad pun. Where do you draw the lawn? One-o. Okay. I don't know what to do with that. I love baffling heckles, they're my favourite. But he's right, we should draw the line of hair. I like bono. You didn't say that in Dublin.

You didn't have the guts to say that there. No, but they weren't polite like these guys. I feel like they would have really, they were up and about in Dublin. You didn't have the guts to say that there. No, but they weren't polite like these guys. I feel like they would have really, they were up and we're doing it as you right now. Yes, okay so the quintuplets were born two months early and although their individual weights weren't recorded their total weight of birth was 13 pounds six ounces. It's very efficient back then. Put them all on a scale six kilos. If one baby was 12 pounds and the rest of the other one.

That was very little. So collectively they weighed 13 pounds. They were immediately wrapped in cotton sheets and old napkins. Old napkins. Like used. They got soy sauce all over them. Can only assume back then in the place that you're talking about. Big in Canada. Canada, yeah. Famous for its soy. So they were all wrapped up late in the corner of the bed and their mother El Zeir. She was in a bit of a bad way.

Her body obviously going into shock after giving birth to five babies unexpectedly. But good news, she recovered within a few hours and was doing a lot better. And one of the nicest things about this story is how much their local, like their community rallied around them. So the babies were kept in a wicker basket. Wow. Did they really rally around them? Between the whole town they came up with a wicker basket. Like that's because that was borrowed from their neighbors. No one had anything better?

They were covered with heated blankets, which is nice, yeah. Oh. And they've been... Now, I mean, isn't it like famously the wicker basket thing and then heat? Isn't that what happened? I've only seen film clips of it,

but isn't the wicker man? LAUGHTER Because this sounds like disaster to me. If you don't like that, you might not like this. He said fire to the basket. No, they were, because they were cold, because they were so little, and they were quite ill. So they took them into the kitchen and just put them in front of the oven with the door open. Yes, some of that hate. Was their mother a witch in a candy house?

Their mother was a chicken nug 180. That'll be fine. So you... You're imagining a big chicken nugget. You can both... ...to five little chicken nuggets. Did nothing else gonna be able to hold that beer in? Woo! Really? Well, there you go, son. Is that, can you confirm that's what you were thinking, please?

Sorry, say again. How did you get all of that? This whole time you've been picturing a big chicken nugget giving birth to five little chicken nuggets? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Wait, this whole time? Yeah, the oven had nothing to do with it. That just confirmed my suspicions.

That was my big twist at the end. Yeah, the oven had nothing to do with it. That just confirmed my suspicions. That was my big twist at the end. They were actually nuggets. Sorry, sorry to ruin the... Did we get the paper with the North Bay nugget or something? Is that better if you had the whole time? I have a time to unpack your brain. Okay.

So, they put them in the kitchen to keep them warm and one by one they were taken out of the basket and massaged with olive oil. Oh yeah, they're nuggets. They gone in that oven. They gone in. What's happened here is someone has walked in on their dad about to put them in the oven covered in oil and he's going, oh no, I'm just keeping them warm. I'm just keeping them baby warm. Yeah, I'm just keeping it warm. I'm just keeping it warm. Yeah, just putting it in there, it bit of rosemary, bit of thyme on it.

Yeah, we season all our babies here. Why, why are you wearing a bib? Oh, I know, I feel bad about this. Every two hours for the first 24, they were fed water-swinged with corn syrup. Batting them up. Batting them up. And by the second day they were moved to a slightly larger laundry basket. Someone found a bigger basket for them and kept warm with hot water bottles.

They were watched constantly and often had to be woken up because they were really quite unwell. People were worried they weren't going to make it. They were then fed with a 720 formula, which is cow's milk, boiled water, two spoonfuls of corn syrup, and one or two drops of rum for a stimulant. I love old school science. Just give the baby rum. They're hours old. So yeah, these babies were the first set of quintuplets to survive past infancy and the world went completely mad. At first the media attention seemed to actually be a bit of a

godsend because people from all over the country helped out in different ways. There were journalists from Chicago and Toronto who went to see the girls that also brought with them water-heated incubators that people later said definitely saved their lives. So that's nice. It's not all funny guys, some of it's just sweet. That is nice. Like those sweet sweet babies. We're great face, yeah. I stand by what I said. Hospitals from all over the place shipped in breast milk and the red cross provided a nursing team that were with the babies around the clock, hands on care. But they were downides as well.

So thousands of people flocked to the house, trying to peek in the windows to see the babies. Thousands peeking at the window. Yeah, people were just tourists. The reporters were milling about trying to be the first to break any new developments. Meanwhile, the girls' father, Oliver Dion, worried about how he would pay for medical care

and all of the other expenses of five more kids in the middle of the great depression. So they weren't like, they weren't a poor family but I mean they did just double the amount of kids they had in one go. So within days of their birth, Oliver was approached by the Chicago World's Fair who wanted to put the quintuplets on display in a traveling fair for a bit? Oliver went to his priest for guidance on whether he should accept offers to publicly display the quintuplets for money. The priest did want any good man of God would do an offer to be his business manager. Something that you haven't mentioned as well as one of those babies was a bit of lady. One of them was a strong man.

One of them ate a bit. I forgot what other freaks there are, but they would definitely... I'm trying to think of more. Three legs. Three legged bait. Why don't I know how to... Why was it... Why was it... Why was it a rabbit boy?

Why was it a rabbit boy? And a werewolf as well. Which is... No, to be honest, quite a different thing. And the fifth one was a chicken nugget. There you go. Good. Ticking the boxes.

So with the advice of the baby's doctor, Dr. Alan Roy DeFoe, and his new business manager, Father Daniel Ruthier. Good job, dammit. Oliver agreed that if his daughters were healthy enough, they would appear the Chicago's welfare for six months. Within a week of their birth, the dealer been signed for tens of thousands of dollars. And this, as I said, was during the Great Depression, so that was so much money. But the father, Oliver, regretted it immediately. He tried to revoke the contract a few days later, stating that his wife hadn't signed it, so it wasn't

legally binding. But it wasn't legally binding But it didn't work and the Chicago promoters were putting on pressure to take the babies on the road They're still babies Yeah, they're at a weak old and their dad sold them Is the impressive parts supposed to be that they look the same? They are identical, yes, but all babies. They all look the same. Yeah. They're five babies. Wait till they're a bit older then they'll look similar.

This is back in the days where they'd put anything as... Do you think those ladies were really bearded? No, you're right, they were. Do you think that many clowns could really fit Nakao? Do you think that goat was really a unicorn? He answered all these questions, yes. You got a lot of regrets tonight. That door to the cytosage is so close.

It's just beckoning. But the baby's health was deteriorating a little bit and they were losing weight. So the Ontario Attorney General's Office proposed a solution to Ole Grinney's WIFLZ. Sign over custody of the girls to the Red Cross for two years. The Red Cross was under no obligation to the promoters. Plus, they would build a state-of-the-art hospital across the street from the farmhouse just for the girls' care. Seems like a state-of-the-art hospital across the street from the farmhouse just for the girl's care Seems like a no-brainer. So the Red Cross covered the cost of the nurses' wages supplies and

Ensuring that enough breast milk was being shipped to the hospital. They also oversaw the building of the hospital Specifically for the deon quintuplets quintuplets. It was a massive project. What was in it for the Red Cross? Doing the right thing. Okay, yeah. Preventing the babies from being taken on tour. So weird. I just think I was a... A baby rider would be. You know what the demands would be?

Similar to ours. Small dark room. Someone to rock us to sleep. And milk. Yeah, actually that does line up pretty closely. So, uh, breast milk though, important, breast milk. Very important. I had four leaders back there tonight. Four leaders. The new two are record. He's a growing boy, don't you think?? So they built the hospital across the road from the family home and the babies were moved over. But you don't have to feel too bad for

the parents because in February of 1935 the deans traveled to Chicago as parents of the world famous babies and made stage appearances. Oh, now I don't feel bad for them, they made stage appearances. I'm never real fun. I think this was part of the reason that the premier of Ontario proposed a bill to permanently strip them of custody and make the girls wards of the state. He argued it would protect them from being exploited and would ensure that any money made would be held in a trust for the girls benefit. But just because the government were trying to protect the girls from being exploited didn't

mean they wouldn't milk it a little bit for themselves. So the Defoe Hospital in nursery was built for the girls, named after their doctor who ran to the post office. It had an outdoor playground designed to be a public observation area. I mean, that is extremely strange. So weird. It was surrounded by a covered arcade which allowed tourists to observe the sisters behind one way screen. The sisters were brought to the playground two to three times a day in front of the crowd.

It was a nine room nursery with a staff house nearby. The staff house held three nurses and three police officers in charge of guarding them. While a housekeeper and two mates lived in the main building with the quintuplets, the building was surrounded by a seven-foot barbed wire fence. So basically it was a zoo slash prison. Yeah, if you want to make sure those babies can't crawl out. Seven-foot barbed wire, that should probably do it. Hey, but I mean you don't want to have to renovate a year or two when they grow. So you think alright they're going to be here for a while five year olds generally they're seven foot tall yeah

what a make it at the very least they can leap seven foot tall exactly what a yeah so this is Canada this is Canada in a very different way in the 1930s yeah it's a pre-nonna-life

and people just lost their knowledge it's a very different world different times very different world. Very different time. You put babies in zoos back then, I don't know. So the sisters were constantly tested, studied and examined, with records being taken of everything. And they had a pretty rigid routine.

Every morning they dressed together in a big bathroom, had doses of orange juice. You love orange juice, don't you? Doses of orange juice. Yes, I take it in as a ring. It's hooked up to my veins. The Vainin is butt. The most Vainy place is something like that, I've heard. Is that not true? But it's not going to be Vainy. I've got to make a quick call. So they'd have their orange juice and then they went to have their hair curled as you know there was a salon on premises as well. They then set a prayer, a gong was sounded and they ate breakfast in the dining room for

30 minutes. Then they went and played in the sunroom for 30 minutes. Is everyone else picturing babies at a dining table? Yeah. Big time. With it like cutlery. What? No nuggets.

No nuggets. Yes, is everyone picturing nuggets setting at a dining table? Yes. They had a play in the sunroom for 30 minutes. Took a 15 minute break from playing. And at 9 o'clock had their morning inspection with Dr. DeFoe. They bathed every day before dinner and were put into their pajamas, and dinner was served at precisely 6 o'clock. Then they went into the quiet play room to say their evening prayers.

I thought a gong was sound. Each girl had a colour and a symbol to mark whatever belonged to her. So Annette's color was red and her design was a maple leaf. So the seals was green and a turkey. What? They took like one of them's the most patriotic Canadian symbol. And then it drops away to green turkey. Then there's a white and a chulip, blue and a teddy bear, that's cute.

And pink and a blue bird, come on. Pink and a blue bird. What are you fucking thinking? That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And I just heard Dave talking about singing kids with nuggets. Pink and a blue bird. Oh, that hurts my brain. No.

So when you explain to people, oh no, that's mine, that's a blue bird. Oh, that hurts my brain. No. So when you're explaining to people, oh no, that's mine. That's a bluebird. No, my color's blue. Yes, but your symbol is teddy bear. These are two-year-olds having the same conversation. I'm assuming they're very simple about things. OK, here's the question. How many tourists do you think came to see them every day?

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I reckon 2000. 20,000 a day. Yeah, that's too much. That's too much. That's too much as a dumb thing to say. I meant to say 125 people. That is a silly answer. That is a silly as I would that was a joke answer. What I meant was 2,479. Okay, well Matt use now closer because it's 3,000.

I basically said that. That's a million people a year. Yeah, well. Okay, that's my partner. Yeah, he's a good one. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Someone, I've never heard someone say anything that clearly from a crowd before. OK, that's fast math.

How many of you say a million a year? So a million a year. Because it says that in the time they lived there, which was until they were about nine, almost 3 million people walked through the hospital doors. So maybe it slowed down, maybe it was season up, you know? Yeah, I reckon. Yeah, they shut down over winter or something. I liked the fact that Jess had a sign up that said like, the quick tablets,

they're sleeping. Just out her facts because Dave said something quickly. Yeah. Which we've already heard from the floor as the fastest math ever occurred. Do you trust this freak? I don't. I don't trust math. Yeah. In general. I think it's a shan. Yeah. Math is a shan. Math is a shan. There I said it. So it's still three million people. Are they paying an entry fee? Yeah. Oh my god. Which goes to the government. There's like hot dog stands in I'm gonna the quintuplets hot dogs. Yeah No nuggets. No, that would be offensive. I mean come on

But don't again guys don't worry about their parents because Oliver Dion ran a souvenir shop Where and a woolen store opposite the nursery called Quint Land. Is it still opposite their house? Yeah. Offers at their house from their parents who no longer have custody over them. Yep. So their parents are seeing them, well seeing the building every day. Yep.

Of where their kids have been taken. The prison there. I mean it was his fault though, wasn't it? Was it his fault? He just signed them off to the world fair. He signed them off to the Red Cross to try and stop that and then they went actually. We'll take them to the prison. No, they were so we're going to build them a hospital and they did.

They just put barbed wire fences around it like it was on the hospital. So you're saying till they were nine so what happened to them? He signed them off till they were two. Maybe I'll off to that two? Maybe I'll get to that. Well, I mean, you've, you've overshot it by seven years in my defense, unless I miss something. I will get to that very soon. I think I ruined it with the very quick maths.

Sorry about that. So there's so many of us available at Queensland, I know you're dying to know what he was selling. Is that a part on Australian state Queensland? I don't think it is. Because that's niche. No, I don't think it's a play on Quintland. I think it's more like Quintuplets. So Quint.

And then, if you had a dizzy leg. Yeah, well I mean that's where the double meanings where the pun comes in. So I got the first part of it. Right. That's not a pun. Or is it? People don't know.

People don't know. I can't confirm or deny if they're basing it off Queensland, the state and the state. Well thank you. Well then I guess we'll have to say that it definitely is. So you guys have any conversation in the front row there? That's alright, we'll wait. I'm fucking blue.

He was expro- front row, yummy yummy yummy, Jesus Christ. He was explained to the guy, so one of the friends has never heard of us before and the other one has and he was saying to that guy who hasn't heard us. They're from Australia. Not Queensland though. That place is booked. So there's so many of us. What? Is there a Queensland here? I'll fight you.

Is there a Queensland here? We can hand up your cow with... Is there. Is it genuine Queensland? We hand up your cowers. Is it genuine? I can't fight you Queensland. Is there any Queenslanders in? Queenslanders! They're bogans, a lot of them. I just forgot where recording is.

Yeah. You felt so invincible. They're so far away. You could say whatever you like. We're on the other side of the world. They're going to hear that. I can't get me. They can. we'll probably visit Brisbane in Queensland next year I'll be busy that weekend

If any Queenslanders are listening I'll be at the Brisbane Comedy Festival in March Tickets at match for comedy.com and you love Queensland. I love Queensland. Yeah, maybe it's because I'm a bit like them But only in the good ways. If I slant us here, I like it. They're souvenir. A quintland. A quintland. Maybe based on Queen's land. You could get autographs, framed photos, spoons. Sorry. Autographs from the two-year-old babies. Yep. I like that. You know when kids try to draw art for their parents

or aunts and uncles, and you have to be like, oh, they're so good. It's like that. But they've tried to write their names. Spoons, cups, plates, plaques, candy bars, books, postcards, and dolls. Surely you could make one doll and put it in a five pack, you know? They're identical twins, identical quintuplets. Isn't that brutal to be selling like those kids want those dolls? And every day people are coming and taking dolls away. But not me. Could you play with the doll of yourself?

That's a stupid question. Of course you would. I would love that. There were also, this is so fun. There were also these big like bins filled with free stones in them. The stones were from the area and they claimed to have the magical power of fertility. The bins would need to be re-filled every day. People would just give it then free fertility stuff.

So they would have a big cum stone. So they would ask, what do you do with the stone? I think you just put it on your bedside table. I actually think you have to rub it on the area. No, no, no. Really? Like a chicken nugget. What? Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm on stage. I'm gonna just work out. I've got some questions for later. That's how you do the North Bay Nugget. How long have you been sitting on that one? Sitting on the North Bay Nugget? Well, been a long time for years. It's due anything now. Been about 30 years.

The quintuplets brought in more than $50 million in tourist revenue. During the Great Depression. They became Ontario's biggest tourist attraction of the era, surpassing the Canadian side of the Niagara Falls. Oh, okay. They brought in more money than Niagara Falls. Celebrities visited them. Clark Gable, Betty Davis, Maywest, and Amelia Earhart. Oh, and visited the Quid Tom.

I was about to say a date and name one I've heard of. And that were all pretty big Tom. At least it was a lot longer. And you know, I didn't know. I was like, delayed. I was like, who the fuck is that? The Dionquin Top is also a peed and adds for dozens of products. Tossins.

Tossins. Oh man, these kids are really big splits. Oh my god. All the big ones. Catch it. Oats. And those are the life say the candies. Oh my god. All the big ones. Ketchup. Oats. And those are the life-sater candies. Parmolive soap. Type riders.

Bread. Ice cream in my favourite, sanitised mattress covers. It's glamorous, isn't it? They also appeared in three films in their early years, they were movie stars, always playing quintuplets on top cast. Two of the films concentrated on telling the fictionalized story of the heroic doctor who delivered the wires and took care of them. So the doctor's like, yeah, I'll tell you my story.

Piece of shit. Directed by. Directed by. Yeah, Dr. Allen Roy DeFoe. In the nine years they spent in the hospital, they left only a few times to meet the king and queen in Toronto and for a couple of promotional tours. But later in their

life describe those years as the happiest, least complicated years of our lives. They laughed it in there, they had a great time. How did they remember it? What do you mean they were nine? You don't remember being nine? I wish. 400 years ago. You really breezed over the King and Queen there.

They met the King and Queen. How's itised over the king and queen there. I met the king and queen. How's it everyone? We've all done it. Maybe in this room. Yeah that's right. It's boring for you guys. She doesn't visit us that much anymore. She's a dog. Inikawa, she loves dogs. It's a compliment to her. She's a corgi dog. Or whatever kind of dog she has. Corgi, you know what I'm saying? Some of them seem defended. I thought the Queen was a joke over here.

Oh. So is the Queen your bono? That is so weird. I don't get this place. I don't get this place. I don't get it. Maybe we just get too much sun, because we don't really care about anything enough. We try to think of the equivalent and do it in the cold kidmen. I do hate her, but I don't care that much.

Oh, Bendy, yeah, Fendi. Oh my god. Now she's getting married. Yay! That'll last. First thing he said to me on the news, 10 minutes and people are tweeting you, you're like, that will never last. Am I, I'm going on the record now?

It won't last. And I will be celebrating the day. They make a joint announcement. It's always a joint and that no it's not. It's one person's publicist. The others already moved out. Pretty dear to my heart. I hate hearing just talk about him like this. They're like my winzers. Who are like your royal family. But not really. Over here the queen is a dog.

And the bridge is a king. That's what Bristol means to me. The bridge is a king. That was a quick little poem there for you. Thank you. Thank you. You're the maddest. In 1943 the girls got to, they left the hospital to go live with their parents and their siblings across the road. By the way, their parents had two more children in the time.

They were just rolling the dice and hoping for five more. I had another son two years later, so they had 13 children. Dave, they weren't rolling the dice, they were rolling the kids out of their mum. They've had the 13th one. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Is that how it works? No. I don't know actually. I've only had 11. You'll get there one day, kid. I said too much. Yeah, so they've got 13 kids and now five coming back to the house, they're not all going to fit in that little farmhouse, don't worry, they moved to a big mansion paid for by the girls trust fund. Yeah, the parents suck. The life at home wasn't a great environment because the girls hadn't lived with their family for nine years, so

obviously it was a little bit of adjustment. The hospital across the street was turned into a private Catholic school for the sisters, with a handful of local girls as classmates. They just picked a few more to make it feel socializing without a kid. They're classes full of extras. Yeah, all paid to be their friends. They get A-classes and everything they say, the teacher's like very good. As the years passed, interested in the girls began to receive, began to receive, but I was still forced to dress up in matching outfits for photo shoots in their teen years. And the media continued to pry. For example, the Toronto star published each girl's weight when they were 14. Why?

Why was that relevant? It's not a good point. It's one of them still 12 pounds and the other four of one. That's why it was relevant. Someone's not right here. Four of these are the size of a pea. I'd read that article, would you read that? The four girls for the size of a pea. One of them is the size of a baby.

It's very confusing. But yeah, we still just treat them as normal. I do want to let this very sympathetic audience know that it gets a little bleak from here. Woo! Woo! Woo! Cool, all right. Uh oh. No, no, it's not, I mean, or I went to say it's not that bad, but my next sentence is a meal also began to have seizures. Because of the stigma of the day against epilepsy,

the family kept it a secret, even as her seizures became more frequent and severe. But when the girls were 18, they left the family home it secret, even as her seizures became more frequent and severe. But when the girls were 18, they left the family home, they all moved away, and didn't have much contact with their parents after that. Maybe I should just leave it there. Did they stick together and move away together? Yeah, yes. Oh, really close.

Oh. Oh, you're scrolling over there. I know, I think I said just cheered and I just want to leave them happy. Let's all remember this moment. We might have to come back to it. So, I just leave them happy? All right, but this is on you. I think they can handle it.

I know, but you know. I am a San Drierian, unless they live in England. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Hello! CHEERING Oh, cheer that. He's patronising our souls on stage. Oh, a rain's all over here, doesn't it? Oh!

Generally, there's not rain once when I've been outside. I've been actually disappointed. You call this winter? Good luck. I just feel like that's just because you want to test out your new rain jacket. I bought a fucking, I put, spent like a week's wages on a fucking winter coat and it has not been put to the test. Oh, it's four jackets in one, isn't it? Is that right? No, I wish. Just the three.

Oh, a few hundred dollars more, you could have got five in one. Yeah. See, try to upsell, who needs five jacket? When we get home, you can stand in the backyard and I'll hose you down. That's all I ask. Okay, so yeah, the girls all, they left, their family home, didn't have much contact with their parents. At 19 Marie joined a strict order of nuns and moved into a conference and a meal followed her into a different conference soon afterwards. Sadly a

meal died not long after at the age of 20 from complications from her seizure disorder. In a morbid silver lining though, Cecil later said that in death a meal gave her sisters a sort of release because public interest kind of dried up in them. Which is so fucked from the public. But people finally left them alone so they were able to get on with normal lives. Yeah, okay, you wanted this.

I was happy to leave it and I didn't see the parents, yay! You sick fucks one of this. So they moved away, like, because they've moved out of the family home, now they've moved completely the other side. They've gone to Montreal. And Vaughn and Cecille went to nursing school together and Marie and Annette roamed together in a college. Three of them eventually married.

But even as adults, Cecille's just found it difficult to be around anyone but each other. So they remained really, really close. Marie passed away in 1970 at the age of 36, Evon passed away in 2001 at 64, and in the 90s Secile's adult son Bertrand began... You've got all that. Fantastic man. He began to investigate and discovered how the account like their trust fund had been so mismanaged, and it began this huge public relations campaign to shame the Canadian investigate and discovered how the account like their trust fund had been so

mismanaged and it began this huge public relations campaign to shame the Canadian government into giving them a portion of state profits that they felt they were owed and eventually after a couple years they took home a settlement between two and four million dollars so they got they got paid out a little bit a little bit yeah how many were alive to get it though? Three. Okay, that's pretty good. Yeah, and two are still alive. Holy shit. When was the story from? It was the 1800s. No, it's the sealant I did.

The oldest people ever. It's amazing. The sealant and it lived in Montreal at 85. Ah, sick. Oh, so it wasn't that long ago at all. No, it wasn't the third one. Well, 85 years ago, yeah. That was a while ago. But a blip. You are a quick at math.

It's like a calculator up here. And just finally, two, the exploitation of the Dion sisters is a subject of a new book called the Miracle and Tragedy of the Dion Quintuplets. It's by an author called Sarah Miller who's previously written about other young women who made headlines like Lizzie Borden who we've done a topic on. Sarah has a bit of a hot tag on today's society as well. So this is an article from the Washington Post and it writes, given how much more is known about child development now, could that ever be possible again?

Miller isn't sure, she says, I don't think we necessarily have another baby zoo. Not necessarily. But in the age of Instagram kidfluences, you could wind up kicking a different snowball down a similar hill. So in conclusion, Instagram is the same as building a baby prison and charging entry. I can see that, yeah, that makes sense. But that is my report on the crazy... Oh, it's crazy enough!

It's the thing! Yeah! Yeah! Wow! I've never heard of that. The wild story. Have you... I never heard of that either. Kidfluences. Wow. What a term. It's crazy. Crazy story. Yeah, there you go. Sorry that it got bleak But that's life. You know people put you in a prison and

Turs look at you and then your parents make money off you All been there. I'll be in there Normal experiences. Hey, you're quaint. That's pretty much her life as well. You think about it? Yeah, if you do, you think about it. Yeah, millions of people visit her house every day. Yeah. What, not every day?

Mathematically, anyway. How many? Cannot let that slide. I don't know, maybe 10, 15,000 a day. A day? To a sin. Can't wait for you to be fact checked on that slide. I don't know, maybe 10, 15,000 a day. A day to begin. I can't wait for you to be fact-checked on that one. I'm gonna sit by Twitter here.

You're gonna get a tweet about that. Oh, actually! If it's from the Queen, I'll be so stoked. I'm actually David. No, Matt does a good Queen voice. He's been watching a lot of the crown. Yeah, very good show. Um. No, David. I'm. That's actually, I's been watching a lot of the crown. Yeah, very good show. Um.

No David. No David. That's actually, I think I was Mrs. Dapfile, but time. No! But I'm not Mrs. Dapfile doing the queen. Ah, okay. You look at a letter from me. Uh, in about a...

Mrs. Dapfile doing the queen, um, doing an impression of someone from Jamaica or something. I was actually thinking of this from the, from the west country, but... I'm not coming over, sir! Stroud! Oh, he's not with you, let's get a cider. I don't understand anything, but, um, I think I picked that up from somewhere. Really, I suppose that Curtin could drop down. He feels like the end, but here I am still sitting up on the fucking stage.

Well, that pretty much does bring us to the end of the show. I'll save you there, Matt. Bristol, thank you so much for coming out and packing out the hand and chicken once again. Give yourselves a massive round of applause. So good to see you. One more time, thank you so much for coming out. Ladies and gentlemen, can we have a big round of applause

for the hand and chicken. We'll on sale. Thanks for doing a great job. We'll be over there, but until next time I'll say thank you for coming so much and goodbye! And we're back in the safety of the studio. Oh, that was a violent crowd. That wasn't it. And there was the, remember the polite heckles? Chicken nugget. And there was the most polite sort of bashful heckles I've ever seen.

Oh, don't look at me. Some of the London ones and definitely the Dublin ones were really, you know, they were, you knew, well, actually Dublin, you knew what they were saying. London, there was stuff that was pretty baffling, but... Yeah, Dublin at least made sense. Yeah. And added to the story. London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's

London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's London's I've at least made sense and added to the story. One of the ones was a lot of, sorry. It was a lot of stream of consciousness. And then a lot of, sorry, what? And then going, oh, I'm too embarrassed to explain. So there's all the pauses. So it was nice not to have that a brisket. I'm not drinking nuggets.

You go to do a full body thing when you do that. You make yourself small. It's great. I like it. This is, you know, because we haven't been in here for a couple of weeks now. This is the Tom and the show where it's everyone's, I think everyone's favorite part of the show, the fact, quote, or question. Oh, we've got all the admin out of the way. The report. We've got the encyclopedia Britannica. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, out the way. Fuck off, mate. We've all got in card 95. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If I wanted to look something up, I'd jump on Google, you're fucking thanks and people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Is that it? Oh, yeah. That was that another language is blah, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I like sassy days.

I like sassy days. Not too. So this week on the fact quote,dle question, I guess to explain it, if I can remember how, if you're spotted on Patreon or Patreon.com slash 2 go on pod on the Sydney Shindburg Deluxe Package Memorial Edition, Rest and Peace level. Is that it? You get to. You get to give us a fact-quaddle question. You also get to vote for two out of every three topics but you get to give us a fact-crow to question and

I read to them out each week and this week the first one of two is from Stefan Hedley and he's given himself the title of do-go-on resident spider expert. I wonder if this that is a little hint as to what his fact is going to be. He's going to his fact. And his fact is. I don't like spiders, so I hope it's not a fact that makes me uncomfortable. Yeah, nothing terrifying, please. Yeah.

Well, you know I haven't read it yet. Well, now, but you can edit it as you go. Okay. Tarantulas have retractable claws like cats. Eww. Cute so far, which helps them to climb trees. That's sick. I can't, I just, that just sunk in. Retractable claws.

Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense. That's wild. So to help some climb trees, they also have dense hairy paws called claw tuffts. Ah, cute. Paws, love that you love, could use the word paws. It's a dense, ugh. Chore tufft.

Chore tufft. I don't like it. I thought you would have loved it. No. You don't know me at all. Well, let's continue. These Chore tufft have microfiber hairs that use an electrical attraction between molecules to form an adhesive force.

This enables the tarantula to climb up glass and out of bath tubs and also carry 173 times its own body weight. Wow. Wow. Dave, that'd be like you picking up a teapot. Ha ha ha. Empty.

Ha ha ha. Obviously. God, imagine Dave trying to pick up a full teapot. Oh, God. I can't be a dessert full table. Oh God, I'm not gonna be a deserter. They're degraded burns again. I can't. It's happening. You and everyone around.

I'm just just dipping little bits on the thing. Oh, sorry. Oh, oh. That is, I did not know any of that. No, that's fascinating. That's a lot. So, can you climb up a bathtub? Yeah.

Because a lot of the time you always say it's, you're like, you're trapped in there. Yeah. How you gonna get out? I'm gonna get out. Yeah, because they're so like the baths out of a bathtub, it's sort of like slippery. Sometimes I can't get out of a bath. I'm slipping around.

Since my Christy festive days, I've been struck on a little more. Get out of the bloody tub. Have a bit of a circle ball oh cannonball before when I get into the bath it's almost like Dave's been swillin' it around like a hot tea hot water's left. Hello Archimedes alright thank you so much for the so it takes us a little bit of time to warm up for the riffs as the years go on.

They start pretty rusty. We're coming off a break. Thank you so much, Stefan, for that fact, a beautiful fact. And I'd also have to thank Craig Skrybek, probably not now, now we pronounce SKROBK. He's Scribac. Scribac, he's given himself the title, Executive Assistant to the Senior Magician of the Academics Academy.

Well, that sounds impressive. Sounds like you should be well paid. I imagine it would be, yeah. To the Senior Magician. Oh, yeah, oh my God. Yeah, it was definitely well paid. Yeah. He is also given us a fact and this fact is

here we go, but it'd be a North tub, yeah, not spide. I'm in the mood for that. Before Kyle was given the title of a super food, Pizza Hut was the largest consumer of the Green Leaf. What? It was used as decoration in their salad bars. That is an amazing wrap. People noticed how good it was for you. It was used as decoration. And it was easily the healthiest thing in the entire shop and no one knew. Even healthier than that, or you can eat softer. This is lovely idea.

Probably still in pizza hut, the healthiest thing is the table decorations. It's carnage. It's carnage. The carnage is the healthiest thing is the tailed decorations. A garnish. A garnish is the healthiest thing. The tablecloth. Wow, that is, that's great. That's a fact. A couple of fascinating facts, which of course I've not at all double-checked, so if incorrect,

which I don't believe they are, I'm not meaning to cast the spursions. But don't add us. I don't care. I want to believe. Thank know, I don't care. I want to believe, thank you, Fox Malta. Thank you. And I guess now we should think of you of our other patrons.

If you do every week, Jess, you normally gives a bit of a game relating to the topic. Yeah, okay. So there was a, so Dave thought these quintuplets were in chicken nuggets. I can't really remember my head space at the time, So Dave thought these quintuplets were in chicken nuggets. I can't really remember my head space at the time, but it seemed to make sense. I don't know that it did, but it was a lot of fun.

But it came out and then we went with it. So what if... Chicken nugget? So what if... I hope the mic thick that up. What if for the patrons we say what food they are? It's either that or which organization their parents sold them to. And that feels a little more bleak.

No matter what it is, it has to be repeated in that one. Take a look. Deal. And of course you are what you eat. So they say so, I guess basically we're making a judgment call on these people. Okay. First of all, would I be able to thank from Piedmont in Okay, which is going to be Oklahoma I reckon, Oliver Rosel. Oliver.

Rosel, my goodness. This is not the name of a Vino. Oh, the Rosel, please. All right. Just the glass of the Rosel, please. You're going to give Rosel. Yes, but it's just hand in the split list anyway. Oh, the Rizel, please. All right. Just a glass of the Rizel, please. You think of Rizel. Yes, but it's just kind of slightly similar.

Anyway, it's incredibly similar. Words are similar. Okay, he's saying it's also Oliver. Can you think of a food that maybe rings a bell with Oliver? The Mooth. The Mooth. Yes, he is. Why? I'm thinking, yeah, it definitely makes sense from what Jess and Dave have said there.

It's got to be either an Oliver or a grape, very similar looking foods. I'm more of a fan of grapes, but you love an olive day. I want a team olive. Okay, all right. We can go. But I also hope it's heating on them with team grapes. What about an olive dip? I like that.

I like that. I like an olive dip. With a bit of crusty bread, yummy crackers. Yes, please. With a glass of Roselle on the side. Oh, you're mine. I love Roselle. It's simply mine.

It's Roselle season. Thank you, Oliver. I'm sorry. Can you just say that in the voice, please? Which one? Oliver's dip. Oliver's dip. He's holding body changes.

That's a really great acting. It's like he's shoulder's come up. His eyes widened like a deer in headlights. Thank you, Olive did. Well, I'm about to heckle. I'm hard as racing. There I go. I've been going back through people of mist and

Oliver has been waiting patiently for more than a year that he should have been. So thank you so much, Oliver. Mr. O'Zell. As has... Please, Mr. O'Zell was my fun. As has from Rockledge in Florida, Tony Martin-Ez. Tony Martinez. It's probably the second one, isn't it? Tony Martinez. The Florida version of our Tony Martin. Tony Martinez. The Floridian version of our Tony Martin. Tony Martinez. Who, if you don't know, is very funny.

New Zealand now Australian comedian. Legendary. Absolutely. So, so funny. Matt, you were lucky enough to have him run primates once and I was very good episode. It is like a dream. I can't believe that's a true thing. Have you noticed that he's Twitter bio now said all it says is no I will not do your podcast

That was my fault I reckon you tipped him over the edge, but Tony Martinez from Florida That's funny I didn't see that it's great. I should change mine, but mine's that's not true for me Yes, I will do I think I've never said no But I will start after especially after saying that out loud. Yeah. I get a lot of emails now. So Tony Martinez, what are you getting anything from that? Maybe based off Tony Martin, maybe a Kiwi Fruit. Oh, that's nice.

Gold or green though? Oh, because you're a golden boy actually. Oh my God boy, I love a golden Kiwi Fruit. I don't know for the how to golden one. I'm cuz you're a golden boy. Oh boy. I love a golden keyway for it I don't know for the head of golden one. I'm a classic grain all the way Wait, I don't eat a lot of kiwi for I like it golden or a lot less tart very sweet and much softer Right, I love the cool see you do. Hmm. Cool see love it soft. It tastes like I'm eating nothing at all Oh, mash Honestly, I love I love a mushy and my mushy porridge. Dave's favorite food is mushroom.

So Tony Martinez, okay, Kiwi for it. I like it. Thank you, Tony. We appreciate it. Tony, let's let him choose on Twitter, but until then, let's say you're a golden Kiwi. What's the Chinese gooseberry? Really, the Chinese gooseberry. Really? The Chinese gooseberry. What's a normal gooseberry is a different thing. I guess it is. Is it because it looks like a goose egg?

No. I don't actually don't know that we're okay. It's got to be something real clever like that. A lot of it be fun. That'll be fun. I don't doubt for a bit. I came back in the thought saying that'll be fun. It was wrong. It did not make sense. It's not the right one with it. And now it's your turn to thank you couple. I would love to thank some a couple of people. I would love to thank from Battle Creek in MI. What's MI Dave? It could be Missouri or Michigan. Right. You keep talking..O. might be Missouri.

Did you know I let effect this week listening to a WTF podcast? Oh my God. Sorry. Brad Pitt's from Missouri. He grew up in the Ozarks. I really? His family's also there. Well, this one's Michigan.

In the time you took the talk, I Googled it. Well done. Because I can do two things at once. Michigan, Detroit Michigan. Michigan. Michigan. Battle done. Because I can do two things at once. Michigan, destroy Michigan. Michigan. Michigan. A battle creek. Destroy Rock City.

And then we had Tim Natalman Taylor, show us that in Michigan. Well, it's also where Scott Lanning is from. Hello, Scott Lanning. Scott Lanning sounds a lot like Ant Man. I was thinking that too. Of course he was. We're one brain.

Scott Lanning. Dave that I didn't see any of the movies, is that it? We all seen him. I've seen a cut. I've seen three I think all right We'll have a marathon. I'm and one. I'm and three got into the galaxy All right, you need to see more. I do see I'm and who that thing didn't make sense Anyway, Japanese life. Do know what happened. Yeah, Yeah, that's not man who's an aunt. That's not man. I don't get it. What? That can be a man. Scott Lening, what comes to mind for Scott Lening? Scott Lening, well, I'm thinking Michigan,

thinking Detroit, Motown, M&Ms. Motown starts with an M. As those by-could have just gone from Michigan there. But M&Ms Moe starts with an M as those by could have just gone from Michigan there, but M&Ms any particular variation of M&M's Never let's keep the same shape because all of them so far have been in a vaguely chicken nuggety shape Yeah, so let's go with a peanut which makes more of you are Will you accept off your lawyer's word? Oh will now. My favorite peanut butter eminence.

Oh, they are fantastic. They're not very common here. Yeah, you can get them every now and then you can find a small packet of them. Wow. In a convenience store. Peanut butter is having a real high day. Yeah. I think peanut butter might be peaking.

It was very out of fashion a few years back and now it's in everything. I love it. You see it. You know, the beer's the start I do it in stouts. Well, I have been for a little while, but that's my favorite beer at the moment. Pen-o-butter stout. Oh. I'm just thinking about peanut butter.

I'm just into Conan O'Brien's very funny peanut butter. Very funny podcast. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. I'm glad we're plugging a few of the little minopog cast today. WTF and Conan O'Brien needs a friend. I'm glad we're plugging a few of the little minopock acid A, WTF and Conan. Well, they were advertising some sort of peanut butter whiskey and they're having debate over, no, that's not the best peanut butter whiskey. This is the best peanut butter whiskey.

Well, there was so many. Oh my God. I've never heard a peanut butter whiskey, but now I'm intrigued. Oh, anyway. My interest has been picked. So thank you very much to... Thank you very much to Scott.

You are a peanut butter, peanut M&M, and we love you. Thanks Scott. Thank you Scott. And I would also love to thank, from North Yorkshire. Oh. Oh, look for the slide accent there. Yorkshire. Oh, yes.

Mac chopperade. Oh, Mac chopperade. The door sure. Oh yes. Mark chopper read. Oh, chopper read. The door man to the stars. Yeah. So we missed chopper. Chopper, sorry, that it's a new so long to get us to get us to you. Oh my god. Nailed it. Let's come. I'm going to talk less. I reckon we've advertising, we've advertised we've shouted out to him at the other level before because he's definitely been the do-go-door man. Oh, yes, for sure. So what kind of food might Mark Reed be?

It's got to be round, onion ring. Oh, love it, onion ring. Me too, love them. Yum. Don't like them. Really? Yeah, maybe just never had a good one. Mm.

That's true, they can be a bit hidden mess. There are some foods that are pretty safe. Onion rings can be a bit hidden mess, but if they're good, love them. For example, pizza is very safe. You never go as wrong. Yeah, never ever goes wrong. That was my experience up until very recently. Until England. I believe that to be pretty true as well. Pizza. It's hard to myself with pizza. Even pretty crap pizza is edible. That was inedible pizza.

I'm, you've brought it up and I'd forgotten about repressed at memory. Sorry. Actually, I saw a picture of it on my phone the other day and I was like, oh, why did I get phoned off? Because I said it to you guys. Like, look at how fat this thing is. But it wasn't like that the first two, I don't remember it being like that. I reckon we just had a bad run.

I had a great run by the time. Loved it all. What are the odds that a country that big could have so much bad food? I think this was definitely worse, but I reckon the time before that I still struggled a little bit. I haven't had a good meal since I got back. You're gonna move.

This is awful. You're gonna move, just move over there. I loved it over there. Honestly, their version of like convenience food, like a pret or a Greg's on the street. Oh yeah, I did it. We do not do that anyway here. That is good, Greg's great. Obviously Greg's, I didn pret or at Greg's on the street. Oh, yeah, I did not do that. We do not do that anywhere here. That is good.

Greg's great. Obviously, Greg's. I didn't need enough Greg's. That was my dream. I had a few bags. Love the Greg's. Anyway, Mark Choppery, thank you so much for your support. Okay, the onion ring.

That does point out me. What? What? Un-a-ring. Say the line. It gets such a beautiful genuine delight from Dave every time. money up me. What? What? Underring. Say the line. It gets such a beautiful genuine delight from Dave every time. Yeah, I know. It's very sweet.

You pick a bit of diminishing returns, but... He loves it. So funny. Oh, thank you so much. Oh, finally, I'd like to thank a couple of people. Another legend that we met on this tour. A couple of nights after we did this show that you just heard. I would like to thank Simon Morgan from Lemmington Spa.

Simon! And Simon. Oh, well I mean, he's got an obvious one, right? But it's not an oval shape. Can we make an ovula Lemmington? Yeah, Eric, and you can make a many shape you want. Great. Great Australian invention.

Running New Zealanders listening, great Australian. That's one of ours. That was mate. So is Sam Neal. Far left and Pavlo over all ours. Yeah, remember that time Sam Neal rode Far left while eating an Ophila Lamington?

Ross Russell Crowe now, and I'm the one. It brought a tear to my Australian eye. Yeah. You can have Nicole Kidman. Yeah, keep her. Simon, you might know he's fantastic Australian line. Yeah. You can have Nicole Kidman. Yeah, keep her. Simon, you might know he's fantastic graphic work. Yes. Because he frequently makes a, to do go on related,

how do you suck a delicate based images? Yeah. Which we often retweet. And we definitely suggest that you follow his Twitter. And now he's going to the Instagram account too. And if you got one of our Christmas cards, which is probably what you were about to say. Sorry Matt That design was from Simon as well. So good. Which opposed it. Oh, I need just told us like recently that he wants to donate his feed of the bush fire

Yeah fund which is incredibly lovely because it's what he got really bad here Really bad anyway Dave. Thank a couple more people I think Simon who is the Lamington Lamington the ovular Lamington. No, you have to say it So I forgot as well this time Thanks I would also like to thank now from Exeter In Devon like now from Exeter in Devin. Devin, where do Skons write?

All right, well I had a Christmas lunch with the son from Devin over there. Oh, tell me they happen for sake in their heritage. I thought it was like a girlfriend's family. They're a family friend, you know, you want to have something to say. So I said, I from Devin, remind me, how do you do scons there? I can never remember. Is it jam and cream or cream and jam? And he was like, fuck off.

He just didn't really commit. And I was started to think, you really from Devon? Oh, you caught him. You're faking it. Are you faking it? What's he, he's playing this out in a, what's the scenario here? He's actually Australian. And he, and he met, he met his girlfriend at a pub, thought it impress her with an internationalizer. He's trapped in the lot. And this is what unravels. It's like I'm trying to trick him up.

Yeah. From I mean, you haven't had to eat anything. I don't know. I don't know. I told you that he's like Tosin Tolerance. He's never eating them. Doesn't like cream. He doesn't like them.

He's just been like, oh, people do them different ways. I think people tell you, I think you'll do one and people tell you it's the other I'm thinking, that's not my spirit. That's not true. I've nearly been murdered over there for saying the wrong thing. Fuck, we nearly murdered, it's like scot.

I've been to Exeter, it's a cool city. University town. Oh, cool. Stayed in a little village outside of there. It's a beautiful country. What a combined orchestra. Ha ha ha ha. Hi. That's somewhere around there. Beautiful outside of there. It's a beautiful country. What a gumballian orchestra. Ha ha ha ha. I don't know.

That's somewhere around there. Beautiful side of country. It's funny, you're actually with more kids bintzing than he is. I'd like to thank Frum Exeter, Elliott Reginald Dawson. Oh, E-R-D. Fantastic.

Trim ditch of names there. Elliott's Reginald Dawson. Thank you so much for supporting the show. ERD. ERD. Errred. Errred. On a zerd, give you food wise.

Kerd. Kerd. Oh, yogurt. Oh, okay. I'm an ovula. A tub of yogurt. A dollop of yogurt? Maybe like a frozen yogurt in an egg shape.

Oh, love a fro-y-o. An Easter fro-y-o egg. Yum. Okay, you have to say An Easter FroYo Egg. Yum. Okay, you have to say Easter FroYo Egg. Easter FroYo Egg. FroYo Egg is hard. Yeah, I got caught in the road. He did a slightly combine harvest to style.

FroYo Egg. Thank you, Elliot, Reginald Dawson. ERD. ERD. I hope that's what your friends chant at you. Thank you Elliot, Reginald Dawson. Eh, I do. Errn. Eh, I do. Eh, I do. I hope that's what your friends chant at you in a display of toxic mess you'll be doing. Yeah, that's what I do. You and your frat boy friends in the college.

Eh, I do. That's like your chugging bee. Eh, I do. Eh, I do. Eh, I do. Don't be sick. Put the end of you down. Do it.

You're putting the urn back in the urn. I think. That's how they bully you, sorry. Sorry, but that doesn't happen because you're cool. I don't know, that does kinda sound like a fun, fun time to me. I know you were trying to do it. Of course it does. You're trying to, it was fun. Because you're all the worst.

I don't just think you're on, I think Jess is trying to paint a bad picture, but I want to be there. I think there's party. That a bad picture, but I want to be there. There's party. That's not depends. You can have fun and party with your friends and have respect for other people. That's all. Yeah. You can do both. It can happen.

I think they were just mucking around. Oh, do. Anyway. Well, that does bring us to the end. Oh, sorry. One last thing I've just remembered, as Dave's saying, but we've got to induct a few members into the trip to Chal.

That's a whole lot. That's a start, saying goodbye. There's really no way we can't stop. So this episode is going out basically straight away here on the 15th of January. So that takes me back to anyone who signed up before the 15th of January 2017 so I'll go so anyone who's been

Supporting us on the shout out level or above for the last three years straight You get inducted into this beautiful club and one of the main things with this is Dave's gonna write your name on a page on the website I think is I'm gonna write it down on a piece of paper and put it on my fridge. That's right. And take a photo and put that photo on the website. Okay. Oh, I can't add it to that. You put a photo of, didn't you put a photo of your mum on there or something?

No, it was do go on pod.com, forward slash your mum's butt. And when you went to that, it was a picture of Dave giving you a thumbs up So you definitely know how to do it. It's still there. Is it yeah, and yeah YA and mums M U M S That's a do you remember so many people 20 is like oh, it doesn't work because they were writing M O M And it's like where Australian and we've spelt it out for you. You're spelling it different anyway. All right, that does come up a lot. We say our Australian accent means

that we pronounce things differently. It's fascinating. It's what an accent is. Yeah, it's crazy. I find it fun. We're from a different place. Oh yeah, it's so many ways. So I'd love to induct a few new members into the TripDitch Club.

My system has come apart here because I can't remember if I've already done it for these two. I think I did. I think I did do it. So I'm an AKC and I was X-Mith. I'm pretty sure I did. Okay, well, if I did end... You didn't, you just did it very quickly. So you either got one and a half or a half. I mean, induct... My pen wasn't ready.

Annicase, you know, Isaac Smith. I'd also love to induct from Surer'sville, Pennsylvania, or I can pay Alex Bache. Fantastic name. Oh, I love it. Right name. A poo to Alex Bache. I'd also love to discount be real from San Sushi in New South Wales, which means no worries in French.

What? I know that because it's the name of a friend of Romalfa. I'd love to induct who we've met a few times at the Sydney shows, Jai Smith. Oh, Jai Smith! He's been, he's come down to visit me at the studio talking business. Oh, very nice. He's a businessman, I'm a businessman. Oh, who are K-Mate? Well, let me talk this studio talking business. Oh very nice. He's a business man, I'm a businessman. Why can't I mate?

Well, let me talk it up a little. I've seen you wear a shirt like twice. Oh, you're a niddle-were shirt, I'm a business man. I'm a big business man, my son. Come on, Bob. It's going to be more than that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no club Dave if you could put them on your fridge. Oh absolutely you're going straight underneath the magnet from Cuba. Fantastic now you can outro the show. Thank you to everybody who listens to the show, supports the show, gets in contact with the show at Dugu OnPod on nearly every social media. I'm not on TikTok because we're too old for that or my space even though we are old enough for that. We're definitely old enough for my space. I saw a great TikTok today where it was put up by one of the NFL teams where they did a split screen where they took someone taking a ball in a gridiron game and then someone owned a woman dancing.

But they split it so it looked like when the woman moved her hips the ball came out of her butt. I had a big to watch it. I watched it a lot. That's funny. I mean, you haven't even seen it, you. What joy it's brought. I think it was the New York Jans. Look, Mark.

Don't worry, we're gonna tick the whole. I don't get ticked up, but I hope you have any good time. I have any good time out there. And you can go to our website, do go on pod.com, basically for links for everything, including the Patreon that we mentioned. But until next week, we'll say, thank you very much. And until then, we'll say goodbye! Wait a minute.

Bye! Bye! This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit PlanetBroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive?

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