Do Go On - 225 - The Man Who Broke Out Of Prison To Climb a Mountain

Episode Date: February 12, 2020

In 1941 Italian man Felice Benuzzi was held as a prisoner of war in a camp near the foot of Mt. Kenya. Bored of the prison life, he started to dream of breaking out and climbing the mountain, this is his wild story.Buy tickets to our live shows in MELBOURNE here: https://dogoonpod.com/events/Matt is performing his new stand up show MONKEY HOUSE in BRISBANE March 10-15 and MELBOURNE March 26-April 19, find more details/get tickets here: https://mattstewartcomedy.com/gigs (use the code 'podcast' for a special listener discount)Jess is performing her debut solo stand up show ALMOST in MELBOURNE March 26-April 19, get tickets here: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2020/shows/almostOur website: dogoonpod.comSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicCome to the Sanspants vs Planet Broadcasting Gameshow Showdown : https://m.moshtix.com.au/v2/event/plumbing-the-death-star/119488?skin=4406&fbclid=IwAR0J6Vm7PhBgS_QRj8L95o57Z22twh6hHnN6WfK6yH2RUEmrPlkUCSBge9E Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://warfarehistorynetwork.com/2015/07/29/felice-benuzzis-extraordinary-climb-of-mount-kenya/https://www.waterstones.com/blog/no-picnic-on-mount-kenya-felice-benuzzis-daughter-reflects-on-her-fathers-adventure

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This week's episode of Do Go On is brought to you by some live shows that we are doing in Melbourne over the next couple of months. Starting next Thursday, we are doing a charity show at Howler, raising money for Wildlife Victoria.

That's February the 20th, where we are teaming up with the people from Sanspans, some of our favourite podcasters, and we are competing in a quiz show tournament, which is Planet Broadcasting versus Sanspans, all in the name of charity. Only a few tickets left. And we are also doing four shows at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival for Saturday afternoon starting March 28th. And tickets are available now at ComedyFestival.com.com. You can also pick up tickets for Matt Stewart's and Jessica Perkins stand-up shows. Oh, yeah, big time. You sure can.

Do not Jessica me. Oh, come on. If they look for Jessica, they're not going to find me. All right. So Jess Perkins is called Almost. My show Matt Stewart's called, what's my show? Monkey House. Like your house.

Jazz is on at six, mine's on at seven. You can go to both if you want to, why not go to both? You should. On the days of DoGo One, you could go to all three. Whoa. You will have to rush, I've been told. I imagine all our listeners are very fit, so. It shouldn't be a problem.

No worries. I can do a five-minute walk. See you then. See you then. Comedyfestual.com.com.com. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Oh, and welcome to another episode of DoGo On.

My name is Dave Warnerke. and I'm sitting here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello. Together at last. Yeah. The first time we've ever been in a room together. Can you believe that? I had no idea you were so tall.

Thank you. I'm sitting down. Can you believe it? What? I know. I know. And Matt, you are the most beautiful specimen I've ever seen. Yeah.

You're not surprised by that. Goodness. I had a feeling. Yeah. Hearing your voice, I was like, oh boy. Photos don't do that face justice. God, no. People think I'm photogenic, but that's actually the opposite.

There's not enough pixels on Earth to capture that beauty. Yeah. Yeah. So congrats on that. Thank you so much. Yeah, you guys got any feedback for me at all, meeting me for the first time? It's great to be here with Matt. I've got to say, yep, there it is.

I haven't even looked at you once. He's so tall. Compared to you. I don't know. Wow, look how beautiful Matt is. I know. Compared to me. Ah, fun.

Just like old friends So I don't remember last week's episode Nearly at all And I should address that And I should say that obviously Drinking responsibility is important Wait did I say drinking responsibility Have you been drinking again?

No I haven't I haven't had to drink since I'm not drinking the rest of the month It's a short month Yeah You cheat You pick the shortest month Oh no booze But is a leap here is that correct?

Yes, it's 29 days, but I did start on the fourth. Did you panic when he saw the 29th? You were like, oh, God. No, I don't mind not drinking for a while. I would say it got a little out of hand last week. I'd say 95% of the feedback was we loved it. Yeah. That was very funny.

And the rest of you, well, Matt's sober this week. So hopefully you've come back. Yeah. That 5%. Apologies to the silent 5. Anyway, this show, did I explain this last week? I imagine I explained it pretty eloquently. Oh, yeah.

We got, Jess got you to do it actually and it was cool. Oh, did you? It is so bad, but I genuinely have very little. I remember saying about the crunch the second time. But not the first. And I do not have the guts to go back and listen to it. Anyway, apologies if anyone found that too tedious. But this week, it will be tedious for a different reason

because I'm just me normal. So the way this show works, one of the three of us research is a topic, usually being suggested by a listener. And this week is no different. This week I've done the research. I've got the topic. And to get us onto the topic, I'm going to ask this question.

It's sort of, it's topic adjacent to the question. Okay. But I thought I'd ask a genuine question that you might have a chance of getting right because I don't think you would have heard of the topic. Okay. Don't ever assume that I won't know it. All right. Well, I'll ask you a follow question.

I'll surprise you. Great. My question is, which European country invaded and occupied Ethiopia between 1935 and 1941. I'm looking straight to Dave. He's our geography boy and also a history boy. Yeah, it's our war boy. And I'm kind of like, I'll get you a cup of tea if you want.

That's my role. I'd love it, cup of tea. You're a cup of tea? You're a cup of? Yeah. Okay. El Gray? You guys go on without me for a bit.

Just going to go pop the kettle on. Well, Dave, how's I think about this one? European country? Yes. France. No, it's not. Jess, do you want to have a guess? It's close.

It was European. It was European? But it's in, you know, it's in the Western European country. Oh, yeah, well, no. No idea. It is Italy. It is Italy, Jess. Well done.

Yes. So my topic, it's sort of like, I mean, that's semi-relevant. If it wasn't for that occupation, then this story wouldn't have occurred. Okay. Okay. I'll just tell you what the man's name was who's at the center of the source if you know him.

My Italian, even though I am something like 1 8th Swiss Italian. Sorry, sorry. Let's get it right. It's 116th. It's 116th? Well, that's...

On the podcast is 116th. Which makes me laugh so much. One Nana is one of my four grandparents was Swiss Italian, but maybe she did have other heritage as well. But I actually, I read the history of my Nana. I got sent this thing. The first Mascherini

to come to Australia, Antonio Mascherini, who's my great-great-grandfather. I just read a mini-history of his journey. I'm like, would it be too self-indulgent to do a bonus episode for Patreon about my Swiss-Italian? I'd be keen to hear it. Yeah, it was pretty interesting. Anyway, so, I mean, the point was that my Italian pronunciation will be spot on. So the man who this story centers on is a man named Felicia Banuzzi.

Felicia? It looks like Felice Benuzzi. But I think it's Felicia. I looked up the pronunciation. It looks like it's Felicia Banutsi. Okay. So I don't know if I'll be able to keep that up. But anyway, this topic was suggested by listener Victor Gimino de Manuel from Madrid.

Victor also suggests a great article which I've used a fair bit in this report by Chuck Lyons from the Warfare History Network As always, the links to that reference and others will be in the show notes Let the story begin Please, is there going to be more Italian

for you to butcher? Vobeni, yeah Si. See, Vobéna, see, Vubene. You were going to say weep, weren't she? Which would have been apt, I suppose. Anyway, Felicia Banuzzi was born on November the 16th, 1910 in Vienna, Austria, to an Austrian mother and an Italian father.

Soon after he was born, he moved with his family to Trieste in north-eastern Italy, which isn't too close to the Swiss-Italian border, but it's still, you know, it's still in the thing. I mean, it's a lot closer than we are now. Yeah, sure. It's pretty close. He was a high-achieving kind of guy going on to study law at Rome University, graduating in 1934. Are you saying that right, Rome?

Roma. Roma. Yeah, no, that's true. I think, I mean, I, yeah. I thought, for some reason I thought this story's about that guy, I should at least try and get his name vaguely right. But yeah, we should say Roma, right? Roma.

But there is also something real wrong about. Rime. Australian people trying to do the full-on, dropping in that full-on Italian. I hate it. You're moving your hand every time you do it. Do you know, that's the, the, Sign language sign for Italian.

Oh. Like that classic stereotypical gesture you might do. Like you imagine a cab driver yelling at another driver. Yeah. What's the right hand doing? Huh? That's the sign language sign for Italian. Right.

Yeah, well, I mean, I've got Italian in my blood, so it makes sense to that. Well, and also that's why it comes out. Exactly. It's in me. It wants to get out. So I graduated from Rome, University of 1934. I hate it. I hate it so much.

I'm having PTSD to my ex-boyfriend ordering food. Can we get the... Oh, then that is going on. The spinach and ricotta. Fuck you. I've got to say, it's pretty wanky. It's super wanky. All right.

Well, anyway, we broke up a long time ago. And I think you should move on. Don't say that. I'll never move on. It's never a lot. How can I move on? So he graduated from Rome University, from his law studies. He also represented Italy internationally and swimming from 1933 to 1935.

It's a real achiever. And these are just footnote things. Just moving on to the main story. In 1938, he married a woman named Stefania and they had two daughters, Daniela and Sylvia. Oh, it's Sylvia. This is a quote from his daughter, Sylvia. Since childhood, my father had a restlessness, a compulsion to travel and to explore. He dreamt as a boy of becoming a sailor and traveling the world, but was rejected by the

Italian Navy when he eventually applied because of his bad teeth. What? Yeah, I never... But he was such a good swimmer. Yeah, it was strange. Like, if the boat went down, there's a good chance he'll make it. Yeah, your teeth aren't any good for sailing. They used to just have to compete with sharks somehow.

That must have been pretty. World War II and they were pretty desperate than anyone, come on in! Yeah, it was only just pre-World War II. What, you're a four-year-old with no teeth? Who cares? You're in the army now. Come in. He's a gun! The quote goes on.

With his parents, he went to the Dolomites, or Dolomitties, I'm not sure, on vacation. He started mountaineering with his father and spent his youth in the Julian, Yulian Alps. It was an amateur mountaineer in love with adventure. Nice quote about her dad. In 1938,

The same year that he was married, Benutsi joined the army and listening in the Italian Colonial Service. I'm not sure if that is actually the army, but he enrolled in an official government position. Right. From there he was sent to Ethiopia, aka, this is a word that I struggled with in the prankster episode. Abyssinia? Yes, that's right. Abyssinia. I think it's almost interchangeable or they were at that time.

So he was sent to Ethiopia, which at the time was occupied by Italy, as a. mentioned before, as they tried to build their East African colony, which had recently added the Ethiopian Empire to Italian Eritrea and Italian Somalia land, which Italy had occupied since the 1860s and 1880s, respectively. I didn't know any of this history at all, Italy trying to start an empire in Africa at all. No, I had no idea. Yeah, all of you, which I was sort of trying to carve it up and compete against each other. It was just all pretty awful. Yeah. Is it like buying investment properties, you know?

At the time they were sort of treating it like a game of Monopoly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty young. No good, no good. I got sidetracked in the research and read a fair bit, but it's pretty complex. Monopoly? Yeah, it's fucking hard, man. Yeah.

I never finish one. I always get so angry. Flip that board. What little monopoly character do you go as? I go as the car. Oh, I love the dog or the bowling? Of course. You would go for the dog.

A little Scotty dog, isn't it? Yeah, and we always, we'd call the dog a pisser. And when it stopped at a hotel, my family would say, oh, stopping in for a piss. That's a bit cute. Yeah, a little pisser. Piss of the dog. I mean, it was Whizzar when I was quite young, and then as we got old, I were allowed to say pisser. Oh, that's fun.

You know dogs don't have to go inside to piss. You have a dog. They just do it on the street. He comes inside to piss. Everything outside, except for pissing. Well, that's why he's got that bowler hat, I guess. It's a fancy dog. It's a fancy dog.

I used to be the racing. horse. They still use that? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So anyway, I won't go into all of that, but the British forces, along with the Ethiopian resistance, forced the Italians to surrender by the end of 1941, ending about six years

of Italian rule in the Ethiopian Empire. With this, Benutsi was taken prisoner by the British, and according to Lyons, he was stationed in Addis Ababa, the capital city of Ethiopia. when the British Army offensive moved into East Africa. By 1941, he was a prisoner of war and turned in British Prison War Camp 354 at the foot of Mount Kenya and just south of the equator. Initially, Benutsi found life in the camp relatively pleasant

but quite boring for prisoners riding. The sole activity for this host of people was to wander around the camp, walking around and talking to one another. Yeah, get your steps up, get your chats in. That sounds like a fucking dream. What do you mean? That sounds great. As prison camps go, you know?

Do a bit of walking, do a bit of talking. Talk it, walking and talking. I love that. You don't have to hit any rocks. You don't have to pay bills. Not worn down by life. You don't have reports to write. What POW camps make you pay bills?

I'm just saying like you don't have to live. All right, mate. Just the water bill just came in. And if you could sort this one out, that'd be nice. All right. Don't have those stresses of life. It does. Like I agree. It sounds pretty good to me as well. All we can do is walk and chat.

I'll talk a little bit about other things they could do as well, which also sounded nice. I think we're depressed. You're longing for a POW camp in the 40s. Yeah, that sounds all right. I think I just need a break. I think I'm tired. Anyway. When he first arrived, it was rainy and the weather was overcast, meaning he was unaware they were stationed so close to Mount Kenya. He couldn't see it for the first little period he was there.

That was until one morning when the weather briefly cleared and he got a glimpse, he got to glimpse the impressive mount. According to Lyons, though he was a mountaineer, it was the first 17,000 foot peak Benutsi had ever seen. and he wrote that he remained spellbound for hours afterwards. Wow. He just looked at a mountain. Fuck, it is boring in there, isn't it?

He sees a hill and he's like, whoa. That was one time. I caught the same bus every day for six years when I was in high school on the way home. And about four years in, one day I was on the drive home and I looked over, suddenly there was a mountain I'd never noticed before. Wow. And then every day from then I was like, has that always been there? Has that always been there?

For two years you did that. No, I was like four. Oh, so yeah, it was two years me going to be, is that, is that still there? I couldn't believe it. Yeah, anyway, so I can understand how it would blow it. That guy's mind. But also, he was, he grew up mountaineering. He loved mountaineering.

It was his childhood passion. And then all of a sudden he's ended up at the foot of a mountain bigger than he's ever seen before. Yeah. I guess it's like going to like a really beautiful beach. You know, you're like, whoa, I've seen a lot of beaches, but this one's particularly good. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. It'd be like a Melbourne person going to a another beach. Yeah. Our beach just suck. Oh. So he described it as having fallen in love. Oh. It's offensive for his wife.

According to Britannica. It's not about that mountain all night long. That mountain did things to him. Nobody else over has. It would be fun if the story took a turn. It was about how he married the man. In my head, he did. Well, actually, I didn't read that he didn't.

Yeah, can't prove it. According to Britannica, Mount Kenya or Kiranaga in Swahili, is a mountain and an extinct volcano. In central Kenya, lying immediately south of the equator, is the second highest mountain in Africa after Kilimanjero, which is located some 200 miles to the south. The Mount Kenya area was added to UNESCO's World Heritage List in 1997. The base of the mountain lies at some 5,250 feet At the 8,000 foot contour, The circumference is approximately 95 miles. Its summit area is categorised by steep pyramidal peaks.

Pyramidal. Yeah. Pyramidal. I've got to tell you, all these mountain starts are getting me hot under the collar. Wow. Principal among which. Yeah, me too. So the three main peaks are Batian at 17,058 feet.

Nellian at 17,022 feet and Point Lanana, 16,355 feet. They're the big three. That's really quite tall. Yes, second biggest in Africa. So big mountains, even bigger than the ones in Australia. What? Bigger than Kosovo, which I've walked to the top of. Bigger than one that I once saw from the bus on the way from Warrondide High School.

Come on, Matt, do your research. What is the... What is the mountain in Warren Dider where you were? No, to be honest, it's probably just a big hill, but I've never seen it. I've never seen it. Is that a hill always been there? Is it still there? I don't know.

Probably. Mount Kosiosco is 2,228 metres above sea level. I don't know what that is in feet. All right. How about triple that? So, yeah, so it's still about half or less. Lyons described the mountain saying Around its base lay fertile farmland

Cut out of the tropical forests Then it rose through jungle and belts of bamboo Through timberline forests with relatively small trees Lichens I don't know what that is And moss then heath Lichens Like lichen and moss

What's that from? That's from roof seal The roof seal jingle If your roof is getting lost Then the lichen and the moss And your mortar isn't where it ought to be Give it back that old appeal with a visit from Ruth Seal 1-800-2-4-0

The bit they'd want me to remember And then if there's the seal bar, I can go Hoo-R-R-R-R-F! What is the number? That's funny, that's the only place I've ever heard Lichen before. Start the number again. 1-3-70-0-1-800-0 It's 7-0-0-0-Roof-Roof.

1-400. So that's Likens is sort of like a mossy sort of thing. Yeah, it grows on. Roofs. And roofs. So Lichens, moss, then heath and grassland, followed by glaciers and snowfields. It's pretty wild.

Like a bit of everything. Wow, that's cool. Yeah. It sounds like a kid drew it. All right. Then there's a jungle. Yeah. It's a forest.

Then there's a glacier. Then there's a tiger. And the tiger, you have to answer three riddles. And if you don't, it eats my teacher, Mr. Kevin. I hate you, Mr. Kevin. Mr. Kevin. I don't know. his last name. He won't tell me.

It's one of those progressive schools we call it Cheses by the first night. But I would call it Mr Kevin. To Benozy, it was like, it was a mountain like you'd never seen before. He called it an ethereal mountain. He was so bored. The mountain

remained in his thoughts as he continued on with the monotony of what sounds like a very pleasant prison life. He's just thinking of boobs. So you just walk around and talk to people. Yeah. Well, look at that mountain. One night, Heading back to his barracks after a game of chess, he had an epiphany. Walking along, he heard someone hammering away inside one of the buildings,

and according to him, a strange sense of envy crept into my mind. That prisoner had set himself a task, whatever it was. For him, the future existed. He had found a remedy for captivity to break the monotony. I need only to start taking risks again. It changed his mind. It's this banging noise. Someone hammering away.

He goes, holy shit, this guy's got. otted together. It's probably like the janitor fixing someone's bunk. Totally. I wish I could have an epiphany every time my neighbours were making noise. Yeah, banging sounds. But your neighbours do make bang and sounds. So get to different neighbours, but yes, there are some neighbours.

They bang away, hammer away. Yep. Their life has purpose. But I've also got neighbours who just moved in next door who were building furniture at like midnight, just drilling into the wall. What are they building in there? What are they building in there? I was like, there was the first night they lived there

and then they had a fight at 3 a.m. screaming at each other. I was like, I hate you. Moving is stressful. I get that, but they're still doing it three weeks later. Having to build furniture at night, it's not that surprising. Building furniture at midnight, just having moved in. Oh, really?

And that ended up with an argument? Yeah. Okay. So why are you siding with then? No, I'm not. I'm just saying, I was awake. It's fair.

Who's choosing to do that? I'd be sleeping on the, like, just the wooden floor or whatever. Yeah. Oh, I'd probably have a couch or something. But I could have had a lot of epiphanies. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Had I heard this story sooner?

But our guy, Antonio Fibonacci, whatever his name is. He's heard this sound and now he's now inspired. Felice. Benucci. Ah, Felice Fibonacci. A little offensive as an Italian man, but I'll let you get away with it. I really like the name Fibonacci. Isn't it sound good?

That's a great name. It does sound great. It does sound great. It's just not relevant here. Not relevant. That's not his name. It's like me saying, Dave, is it?

Nah, I like Fibonacci. I'd love to be called Fibonacci. Of all things I could have said. Yeah. I think I'm going to call you, Bluh. I think I'm just going to call you me vomiting in a bucket

every time I see you. I'm just having a flashback the last week. Happy to be called Blurrers well, by the way. Fibonacci. Actually, it goes Cobra, then Fibonacci, then. That's my preference.

Interesting. Where's Dave sitting in that? I haven't thought about it. Okay. Has it made the cut. So this whole epiphany led him to make the decision that he was going to climb the mountain. Sure, yes. I had that thought.

You got there before he did. Yeah, big time. I thought he was going to fix a bunk bed. This is a story about a guy in the POW can't be fixed a bunk bed. He was really, he wrote a 600-page novel about it. And he married a mountain. There were a few stumbling blocks in his way. Firstly, he didn't have any of his mountaineering gear,

and maybe even more importantly, he was in a prison camp. Yes. Lyons describes how he started overcoming the first issue, saying, he began by writing to his family in Italy, and without saying why, asking that they send him his boots and some warm woolen clothing. He quit smoking, and he used his allotted cigarettes, the general currency of the camp,

to buy other items he needed. He sold whatever of his personal belongings he could, to raise additional capital, scoured camp trash heaps for usable items, and was able to locate a homemade Italian flag hidden in the camp. He hoarded chocolate, dried fruit, and crackers from the food parcels he received, had ice axes fashioned from hammers stolen from a workshop,

and created crampons rigged from odds and ends salvaged from the trash heaps. And crampons are the sort of spiky shoe things for hiking. I was like, what? The men tampons. For maps, he had only sketches he had made of the mountain from site. That's not how a map works. Meaning he could only see one side of the mountain. Luckily, he found a label from a food can with a picture of Mount Kenya that showed the other side of it.

You're kidding. Oh, my God. So there are his two maps. He undid the netting of a bunk bed and twisted it into a quarter inch 30 foot long... Told you, a bunk bed. 35 foot long rope. his experience climbing so he like he did a lot of work his preparation took about eight months

wow his experience climbing but I guess all of that gave him this purpose that he was looking for his experience climbing in the past told him that he would not be able to reach the peak alone so he decided he needed two other men and set out to recruit them the first would need to be an experienced mountaineer who would accompany him to the peak the other according to lions would be able to stay at the base camp while the final ascent was taking place.

His main job would be helped with the night watchers while the party worked its way up through the tropical forests, bamboo thickets and the like on its way to their final camp. They were especially leery of the rhinoceruses that were known to roam the lower parts of the mountain. Lucky for Benutzi, he shared a bunk with the perfect candidate to fill the first role. This is wild.

He shared a bunk with a doctor who also happened to be a mountaine. Oh my God. His name was Giovanni Belletto. Belletto was respected by the camp authorities and they had given him a section of the camp garden to turn into a veggie patch. This is another prisoner. He's got a little veggie patch out the back.

Adorable. In that next to his veggie patch, he also built a small tool shed. So the first spot was filled. What's he growing in his veggie patch? Tomatoes. Hmm. Yeah.

What else? That's it? Split peas. Ooh. Anything else? Anything else? Dingleberries? Ah.

Yeah, it's a bit of everything. It's a big three. So the first spot was filled, and to fill the second role, Benutzi recruited Enzo Basari, a businessman from Tuscany, who notably had never climbed a mountain before. I reckon Enzo's going to be that one who can stay back. Yeah, I reckon, you stay there. Hey, Enzo, chill out for a bit, I reckon. He was asked at one point why he brought on a man who had no mountain climbing experience.

And he said, quote, it was because he was universally thought to be as mad as a hatter. And mad people were what we needed. Someone crazy enough to go through it. Okay. So the group was now made up of Benutsi, Belletto, and Basotti, which I'm sure won't be confusing to me as I go on reading. Call them the B-B boys. Benozy at over- Be boys, fly girls, with your heads in the air.

I'm so sorry. I just hadn't talked for a while. Don't you ever be sorry. I just wanted to chime in. Thank you so much because that's really what your job is. Dave? Yeah, Dave, you've been awfully quiet over there. Just doing a lot of nodding and listening.

You're thinking about some sexy mountain you're going to fuck later? Yeah. I'm straight away, damn it. That's all I think about. Should I said Mary. Fucking a mountain. I say fuck. Well, you said it.

We're in it now. So keep going to go ahead. How do you even do it? You're going to fuck a mountain, Dave. How are you going to fuck this mountain? Well, you've got to find the good. side, the hot side, you know what I mean? Sure.

So you're looking at food cans. You've got a food can. You've got a sketch. You've got to pick. Which one? Where's the front? What's the back? Yeah.

Spice it up. Then you put on your crampons and you go to camp. So is anyone else worried that the third guy who's mad once he gets out of the prison will be like, actually, I'm just going to go. Yeah. It's just good to get out of prison. I think that I think he trusted the group. Also, it would basically be suicide. They're so far from neutral territory and it would just be like wild terrain,

traveling by herself through Africa. So is the plan to go up the mountain and then come back to the prison camp? Yes. What? Okay. And what? Nobody's going to notice? So it's just something to do?

That's the hope. Some sources say, although this didn't seem to be across all. They left a note. Back in five. Just going up the mound and be back. weeks back in five weeks so they needed escape and they hadn't figured out how to do that yet

but someone had the thought that the camp garden would be the perfect escape route the garden was behind a locked gate but Basotti had been given an access pass for it because he had his little veggie patch there and with it he could come and go as he pleased with this plan in place they started moving their mountaineering equipment

bit by bit over to the garden hiding it amongst Bassodi's tomato plant so they put their crampons and all the different bits and pieces It must be pretty big. Yeah, pretty, and it must be thick as well, those tomato vines at the time to be able to hide all this gear amongst it. I thought you'd put it in the shed. Yeah. Maybe that's what they did.

They hid it anyway. They're putting me off the, off the bloody track, the scent. And that's hard to do. That is hard to do, because I'm a real private dick. Barsotti's access to the garden was all well and good for moving equipment in, but as the other two men did not have passes, they would need to figure out a different way of getting into the garden on the night of the escape. They realized they were going to have to get hold of the key to the garden gate. As the group prepared, Benutzi wrote about struggling with doubt saying,

There are occasions when the thought of our impending adventure made me frightened. Sometimes I thought what it would be like lying out in the dark, wet forest, dead tired, exhausted by hunger, drenched to the bone, in imminent danger of being attacked by wild beasts. That prospect I compared with the warm blankets in my bunk, the familiar oil lamp, and the good old book I was now preparing to read. It does feel like I'd take the reading the book in a warm bed option. Yes. Sounds like he's staying at a resort.

And I get to walk. And talk! Oh my God, two of my favourite things. Yeah, even more favourite than being cold and near rhinoceroses. And being exhausted because I've been hiking all day. No, thank you. I hate camping. Mama's staying in prison.

Thank you very much. He overcame these thoughts by considering the alternatives, staying in the comfortable but monotonous prison. He felt sorry for the other prisoners saying that I felt only pity that they should be content to endure this stagnating life without having in mind a project like ours. We have got a mountain to fuck. They could have other things going for them, you know?

Yeah, you don't know. They could be riding something or want to live. Or planning a proper escape. Yeah, not I'm going to escape, climb up that mountain and then come back here. You idiot. Yeah. The arrogance on this. How would you get to cross like the thousands of kilometres?

It's not that far. Oh my God, man. Thousands of feet. Thousands of meters. He's going to go thousands of feet up. Just go thousands of feet across and go home. I would have rid of it. One of them rhinoceroses.

Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let them do the walk in for once. I'd get an Uber. Hadn't thought of that. Get an Uber to the airport. Fly home. First class.

You burnt it. You've earned it. Yeah, I have. I have. You've probably got points at some point. Surely. Yeah, just put it on points. I'll put it on points.

Yeah. You could sell the rhinoceros to Richard Branson, and whoever flies the plane. For points. Yeah. I trade a rhino for a lift. Yeah. It seems very reasonable.

I don't take up that much space. I don't have a lot of baggage other than emotional because I've been in prison. But I don't have a lot of stuff with me because I've been in prison. I've said too much. Can I get on your plane, please? I've got this can of veggies with a nice picture on it. Look at this. So they had to find a key.

They basically needed to steal the key to make it work to get into this garden. This feels like a video game. Yeah. After many failed attempts at getting the garden. and Gate Key, Benutzi fell in a bit of luck when he found the key left unattended on a British officer's desk. Of course. He grabbed it and made multiple impressions of it in a piece of tar.

He took the tar to the prisoner who was also a mechanic who was able to use the impressions to make a copy of the key. Far out. Just take the key. You dick it. The problem is it was time sensitive, so I needed to be able to do it unnoticed. Well, then it's on the soldiers. It's his fault for losing the key.

Yeah, I guess if he noticed it was gone, then they might be sprung. So this way, they could do it and know it. They're none the wiser. Yeah, I get it. Just, I'm lazy. It's a fun they made a key. Out of what? I thought a lot of this was more fun.

That is fun. He made a key, seemed like fun. Have you ever going to get a key cut? That's fun. You see that machine? And then he gives you a key that's the same as the other key. That's crazy. I don't know how they do it.

It's magic. And then you think, have they kept a copy of that key? Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. For what? Why?

Why? Why don't you ask me my address? Yeah. And when I'm out most days. And when I'm in, or weirdly. So you'll definitely be home tonight. Good. See you then.

I mean. What do you want to watch? I mean? Oh, I'll bring the popcorn. Oh. He's just lonely. He's a really lovely guy. You guys.

He's just lonely. Sorry, Keyman. Sorry, Keyman. Keyman's a cool nickname. Can I have that? No. No, blur. It doesn't work for you.

Fibonacci. How is that relevant? Fibonacci or Keyman. What's the story there? There's got to be a story behind a nickname. Come up with all my ideas in the bath, like Fibonacci. Okay, and that's why you're called the Keyman. It doesn't work.

You always start one place and then you've got a couple of steps away. Fibonacci is keys probably Yes Or who's Fibonacci He's the guy who described dancing Right Well no He took a bath

I know he took a bath It's a guy that got in the bath And the water rose And he was like Oh yeah Eureka I've got it I'm Fibonacci Oh yes

That's when he thought of his name Eureka Oh my God So calling me Greg I'm Fibonacci Rebrand That's when it happened Okay I love that

He's been sitting in the bath For three weeks Trying to give a cool name God, what can I call myself tap? No, that's not good. Vibibati? Fibibati. What am I talking about?

I'm going crazy Fibodachi. I've got it! Eureka! He holds out to his wife, Susan, I've done it. Shut up, Greg! It's not Greg anymore! I'm Fibonacci! You're still Susan, though!

I think that's how that went. That's definitely out went. We are pretty good with history. Yes, and geography. And maths. So they've got a new key. They've got a fake key. Are you emphasizing that for a reason?

No, well. They've got a fake key. I don't think it's going to work. Benucci went to test the key, and his heart must have been racing as he lent against the gate, just casually he leaned against the gate, in full view of a guard. And he just sort of like subtly slotted it in.

So you like smiling whilst doing it. Yeah, hey? Hey, just hanging out. Good morning. So letting it on the old gate here. No worries. Don't look at my hand. Click, click, click.

Don't worry about that. He tried to turn it. Unfortunately, it did not turn. Luckily, the guard didn't notice that he failed to open the gate. You better believe you walked away whistling. Yeah, both hands in pockets. Very casual. So he tried to make multiple adjustments to the key.

And he did make multiple adjustments to the key. adjustable adjustments to the key. None of those worked, unfortunately. And it was not until Benucci realized that he needed to use a little oil on the key. Basically a bit of WD-40. Lube it up. Lube that key. Lube that key.

The whole camp's yelling at. The guy's like, what's happening? What's going on there? They were saying it in Italian. They were so bored. They were all yelling, lube that key. Fibonacci, yeah. So Benucci, he lobed it up and he went back

and then he described it as the blissful satisfaction of the click of a complete revolution. Yuck, you pervert. I lubed it up and then I had a bit of sweet satisfaction. That is gross. What an absolute pervert. What a perv.

Yuck. Their plans? He's cancelled. He's cancelled. I really like this guy. You've turned on him, both of you. Well, he turned the lock and we turned on him. Perv.

Perf. Perf Hughes over here. That's a nice reference. That's good stuff, man. It's good stuff. Once went to a cricket camp and he taught me out a bowl. Merv Hughes taught you out a bowl. Yeah, when I was out.

What the fuck? That's cool. That's cool. He said, you got to imagine you're holding a ball of string. And then you open it like a bit of yarn, but you keep it going. And then you're throwing. Throw the arm. But keep your arm straight.

And I went up to become the greatest cricketer this country's ever seen. The greatest strongest basketball over that. Thanks, Perf. Thanks, Perfuse. He did not like it when an eight-year-old called him Perfews. What was he doing hanging around all those eight-year-olds? That's what I want to know. I think you're going to hang around eight-year-olds and teach him out a bowl.

I don't think you can. I don't think you can. I don't know if you can. Busted. So all their plans are starting to come together. They decided to lock in the date. January 24th, 1943, that was going to be the day for their great escape. They roped in a fourth prisoner for the plan,

dressing him in an outfit that looked much like one of the Camp Commander's outfits. I don't know how they put it together. Brow wasn't exactly right, but it was basically... They just found a commander's outfit on someone's desk? Yeah. Made a copy of it in Tar. The mechanic busted it out. That must have been what it was.

So the fake British officer led the three men to the garden, open the gate, let them through, relock the gate, wandered off, probably whistling. It stands in his pockets. No one batted an eyelid, no one noticed. The B-boys were in the garden where they hid in the tool shed waiting for the cover of darkness as they believed there to be another guard on the other side of the garden that they would have to sneak by. In the garden, they were able to pick up all the climbing gear that they had stashed there, as well as food rations for the journey,

which according to bushsnob.com included a... Bushnob. Yeah. Bush snob. Bush snob. Bush snob. Bush snob. I don't think you've cleared it up for me.

Bush snob. I love it, whatever it is. Bush snob. What did bush snob say? Bush snob. It was the only place that I saw it mentioned that they, with them, they took a bottle of pineapple brandy. I thought that worthy of mentioning because I'd never heard of it.

Pineapple brandy. I don't know if it sounds nice or really. gross. Yeah. Because I like pineapple. But when you're desperate. Yeah, I guess in the cold nights up a mountain. Yeah, you'd take it.

When you're wearing homemade barbed wire on your feet, basically. Is that where the crampons are barbed wire wrapped on their feet? It's scrap metal of some sort. Yeah. When night fell, they were able to easily make it out of the camp past the perimeter without seeing any guards. It was just seemingly unguarded on the perimeter. I love this prison.

It really does. I'm starting to wonder if it was a prison at all. Yeah. They then crossed over the rail line So this is eight months after he came up with the plant They then crossed over the rail line Before taking a break in the shelter of some bushes Because they were very aware that British soldiers

were all around and they could be found at any moment I know they were still in a war zone basically In these bushes according to Benutzi The glacier-clad Mount Kenya was seen clear cut Against the Starry background And he got a big job The other guy's like What are you doing?

Go back into the tent Don't look at me. We don't have a tent. Go back in the bush. I just had a moment alone, please. Just give me a moment with my mountain. I'm thinking about the plan, obviously. I'm formulating a plan.

Oh, wait! They weren't in the clear yet, though. Oh wait, nearly up. According to Lions, they then worked their way. Lions. There were lions there. Yeah, according to the Lions, nearby. According to the writer, lions,

they then worked their way to the main road where a passing military car almost spotted them but they crossed quickly into the dark clearing on the other side and under some more thorn trees. At times they walked backward to leave footprints that would further confuse any pursuers. It's pretty smart. They're walking backwards.

Yeah. Right. I'm going to use that if I'm ever on the run. This is where the adventure really began. They continued to travel under the cover of darkness and according to waterstones.com it took them three days to climb sufficiently high up Mount Kenya, Kenya to consider themselves safe from capture.

So I really just moving very stealthily in the dark. Watching you back the whole time. Yeah, it feels so stressful. It'd be very draining. You'd sleep well, I reckon. Well, no, you wouldn't because you'd be scared. Oh, man, there's no... In the freezing cold out in the open.

There's no rest. Waterstones goes on to say, from then on, their biggest dangers were not British soldiers, but nature itself. wildlife, high altitude, weather and lack of food. On their way to their destination, they move through all sort of terrain, moving through a tropical forest, hacking through bamboo and nettle-ridden valleys, and even getting through an encounter with a bull elephant unscathed.

No. No, thank you. The whole time he's thinking, those suckers back there and their warm beds don't know what they're missing? Reading their books. Getting fed a couple of times. a day. Playing chess in the evenings if they want to. Suckers, yeah. Do really having free rain. Don't even to their garden a bit. Fresh tomatoes. Lovely. They had to trek over glaciers and snow with their homemade gear before setting up base camp at 14,000 feet. There seem to be different

retellings of the story from here, but Lyon's version has Benutzi and Belletto attempting to reach the highest peak of Bhutan, but they weren't able to make it as they were thwarted by a snowstorm. Other places I read it, one of them got too sick to go on, altitude sickness and other things. But anyway, they weren't able to make it to the highest peak. They retreated to base camp and licked their wounds for a day before turning their attention to Lanana, the third highest peak on Mount Kenya at 16,355 feet. Still obviously a very high mountain. A double Kosovo.

And if you're not wearing proper gear? Yes. That's crazy. Yeah. It was pretty well unknown terrain to them. They're looking at a rapper. Yes. And there were conventional routes to travel, which they didn't know and they did not use.

So they were making their own path. That is so cool. Yeah. And insane. To me, it's like one of the most badass wild stories I've ever heard. All because he can't. He wants to do something. He just wanted to have a challenge.

The two men set off the following day with their rations running critically low. they knew they weren't going to get another attempt. According to Bush Snob, they climbed through the dark and their basic tools were not really able to manage the snow and mud they encountered. But they pressed on and finally managed to get to the top of Lanana after negotiating really difficult conditions. They got there. They got there.

And they negotiated. It's all about communication. Yeah. Yeah. Well, all right. I won't go to the highest peak, but what do you give me if I just make to the third highest peak? Yeah. I'm writing down a number on this piece of paper.

I don't want an answer today. I'm sliding it over to you. You ever think about it. That's me as a businessman. Businessman. Women can be businessmen too, Jess. Why, no, that's what you were saying. I'm wearing a pinstripe suit and I've got a comb over.

Really? Yes, you do. Why are you telling us? We can see here. Oh. You really comb it over well. I wouldn't even notice until you mentioned it. Yeah.

Now I can see. It's one of the best combovers in the world. Nobody does comb over is better than me. Yeah, you put Neil Hamburger to shame. So of the site, as they got to the top, Benutzi described it as a grand site indeed. So understated. That's pretty good.

Nearly died to get here. Oh, grand sight. Once there, they firmly planted their Italian flag and left a bottle sealed with their names written in it. With supplies running ever lower, they returned to base camp before resting. I mean, I'm skipping over this, but it was a wild journey back down again, you know? Of course.

The whole way up could have died back down, same thing. And then, so they got back to base camp, then the following day they set back for prison camp. And what are they doing at night? Are they sleeping inside anything? There were some huts, but they were tried. There were some concrete huts, but they did not use them. Okay. Because his daughter, I read his daughter said,

in a blog which I'll link to as well that they didn't want to because there was a possibility that they'd be locked inside because they had lockable doors on them and if they slept in there overnight maybe they'd get locked in and then they'd have to break out

which would be a crime and they didn't want to commit any crimes. Okay that seems like a silly choice. It feels a bit bonkers. I'm going to sleep out in the snow rather than go inside that shelter that's built probably for people like me

in case I have to break it Wild I think that every time I go to an Airbnb I think I don't want to commit any crimes but I don't understand how doors work

and I gotta break down this door every time I always trap with a sledgehammer I see other people just come and go really nearly nobody will explain to me like all worse criminals

criminals one and all they should be locked up then they'd probably just get out again they were there all their knowledge of these doors I don't get it And I've asked people And they laugh

And I said Why are you laughing help me They say turn the knob I'm like What are you talking What's a bush knob I don't understand What do you mean

Turn Sometimes it's one You push down a bit What if it's a sliding door It's very confusing Turn the sliding door What is this a revolving door It's very confusing

I'm too nervous to go on them What if I missed the exit I've got around again I look silly or to sleep in the snow What is the point of revolving doors? Yeah, just leave a hole in the wall. You know what I mean?

Because there's always a regular door next to them. Just in case. Is it just for looks? I think it's got to be for looks. They're so dumb and annoying. It's like a chandelier. I've got to tell you, as a kid, the first time I ever saw one, it blew my mind. Oh, yeah.

It's for the kids. Just spinning around and around. You know, I'm in there for 30 revolutions going, I'm still inside the door. And I'll always use them. Of course. They're dumb because you walk into it and then you have to do like a shuffle. They scare me a little bit now, isn't it? They kind of feel like an 80s thing to me somehow.

Yeah, why are they still around? Why are things from the 80s still to hear? Like Wall Street's gone mad. Yeah, yeah. There was an excess of ball bearings. I didn't know where to put them all. Make the door spin. All right.

Everything from the 80s has to go. Except revolving restaurants. No. Yep. Anything that was around? I'm picking up what you're putting down. Yeah. Nah, let's keep some things from the 80s.

Get rid of it. All right. Put them in the bin. Only 90s onwards. Yeah, that's right. 1990. You're not counting 1780s, they are? No, anything for any 80s.

Anyway, 18 days on from their cunning escape, they made it back to the rail line where we're outside the perimeter of the prison camp. 18 days. That doesn't make sense of it. 18 days. And they may just wait at it. base camp for them and then they've walked back together. Well, the 18 days was from breaking up to getting...

Yeah, yeah, but they've picked him up on the way back. Yeah, they picked him up on the way through. He just had a holiday. He just had a little break from prison. He did what he does in prison, but like in worse conditions. Slept and did nothing. I mean, he had to climb a fair chunk of the mountain, get past an elephant. There's rhinos around.

He, like, his job was almost worse because he didn't get to do the cool bit at the end. Yeah. Did you get there? Well, I got close. Yeah. I saw it. Yeah, it was very nice. Yeah, we all saw it back here in prison.

Yeah, look, there is. From our comfy beds. Look, right there. I'm looking at it right now. So they got back to camp and here, according to lines, Tired, very hungry and afraid they would be shot at if they were spotted. So they're still on the outside of the camp, but they're basically getting close. They're trying to break into prison.

Yeah, that's right. They're afraid they're going to get shut out as they try and break back into prison. So they fastened all their loose gear to prevent noise and began crawling back toward the camp garden. So they crawled the last chunk of this journey. Just I think it was feeling too easy. Just for a challenge. Yeah. He continues lines.

In the darkness, they were not seen by any sentry, okay, guards. Very bad at their jobs. And slipped back inside as easily as they had slipped out. They snuck back to the tool shed in the garden where they had a restless night as they huddled together near starving. Their mates inside were meant to leave food for them. Right. And they did that.

And apparently every day they'd do it. And then those friends are, you know, just taking a little skimming a little bit of food off the top and putting it in there each night. And then they go back the next day to put a little more in. And what they put their last night had gone. And then it happened again. And again, so they'd put a little bit in there, but the next day would be gone. So not sure why. Is it a rat?

Either a rat in like literally a rat or one of them is stealing the extra food for themselves. Yeah. Or a guard was like, ooh, nuts. Yeah. Here they are again. A garden fairies left me a treat. Oh, thank you very much. Oh, nuts.

What kind of nuts is it, Dave? Oh, almonds, my baby. Either that or they've come back. No one expected them to survive. And they've said, you said you'd leave food in the shed. They're like, oh, no, we did every day, but just disappear. They never left any food. The next day when they heard other prisoners in the garden,

So sun's up, they are in prisoners out in the garden. They snuck out and sort of mingled amongst them before walking back into the camp amongst other prisoners where they scoffed down their lunch with the rest of the prisons, probably with a glass of red wine. Oh, just get a cigar. Silver plates. They then returned to their own bunks to sleep the night

before reporting themselves in the morning to the British compound officer. So they haven't been replaced in the bunk because my worry would be. You've been in away for three weeks. They've got a new inmate in. Well, maybe they did, but they still say. I slept in those beds. I pissed off. Jeremy. I slept to here three weeks ago.

Top to tail? Yeah. Their punishment, so they turned themselves in. Their punishment was to serve 28 days and confined cells, but were released after only seven days. Benutzi later wrote that the camp commandant was very kind to us and had, as he put it, appreciated our sporting effort. Feels like a very British sort of thing.

Well played chaps. And they came back. That's so weird. Why would you punish them? It's like, well, you're back in prison. You saved us some food for a bit. Actually, our overheads are a little down on where they would have been otherwise. That makes sense now.

I was thinking, why are we about three people that's worth of food down? Do you reckon they'd noticed? They must have, yeah, because there's roll calls and stuff. So the night they got back, they skipped the roll call and went to bed because they were all missing anyway, but no one was. like they weren't searching for them anymore inside. But yeah, when they found them, they searched them thoroughly, apparently,

and then put them in these little cells for 28 days reduced. To seven. Imagine their cellmates, though, who are really enjoying having a place to themselves. And now it's like, oh, you're better. Be like being on the plane with a seat next year. And all of a sudden there's just before takeoff. One last person comes on.

Right next to you. Where is they going to sit? Oh, no. He's coming this. Where's Stinky Pete going to sit? Oh no. They're always stinky. This does make me think of, have you ever watched Hogan's Heroes?

Yes. Yes. And every time you're watching it like, comedy is sitting a P.O.W. Camp, that's a bit out there, all right. And then it never, you know, it feels so ridiculous. But this kind of feels a bit like that. Yeah, it does feel, it feels fantastical. Yes.

They would do something like that sneak out only to sneak back in. Homer. Oh. That was from that, right? I know all about Hogan Cira is from The Simpsons. It's Homer's subconscious. Yes, but he doesn't know. Is he does he appear as...

Is it Isaac Newton? I'm Isaac Newton, Homer. Who? Yeah, he doesn't know this. So then he comes back as Colonel Klink from Hogan. That's good stuff. A few days later, some British climbers discovered their flag and bottle on Lanana.

British climbers who were up there with actual climbing gear and stuff. And their adventure then became public knowledge. Such an amazing feat, but made even more so when you consider the trio lacked even the most basic information about the mountain before they set off. According to his daughter Sylvia, I've written Sylvia. I've written Sylvivia. Great name.

That's what mucked me up there. According to his daughter Sylvia, they were ignorant about many crucial issues regarding their adventure. They didn't know about femininity. back then. So ignorant. Look, I'll probably be the one to talk about feminism on this show, Dave. I brought it up so you could teach us.

Yeah. If you could sit back, just lean in. Let's chat. I'm going to teach you about feminism. Hey woman. How woman? Lean in. Well, firstly, you shouldn't use that kind of language.

High woman. Anyway, Sylvia. So she said, they were ignorant about many crucial issues regarding their adventure, including about the tropical African wilderness, about the distances they had to walk and the climate they had to face. A couple of key things there that you would normally know about before starting a trek. About the mountain, they had no idea about access, possible shelters, the history of the mountain and its main roots of ascent.

No idea that the mountain being on the equator, this one is wild to me. They had no idea, and neither did I, that being on the equator, the mountain behaved both is winter and or summer, depending on which side you tackled it. One side of it is a winter mountain, the other side is a summer mountain apparently. Is that wild? That's insane.

Can that be true, Dave? It sounds like a theme part. It's wet and water world over here, but over here it's traditional. It's dry. But if you get a super part, you can go to both. Two-park super bars.

Oh, that blew my mind. That is outrageous. And to be honest, I also haven't double-checked that anywhere, but it does... I trust Sylvia. I trust Sylvia. Sylvivia, thank you. Forever.

Sylvia forever. In 1947, Benutzi had a book published telling his story. The book was translated into English in 1952 titled No Picnic on Mount Kenya. It has also been translated into various editions, including French, Spanish, German, Swedish and Korean. I reckon someone suggested I'd do that for book cheat, that book, I reckon. Yeah, I bet, because it's seen as a... a classic, certainly a mountaineering classic. Right.

And in 1994, it was turned into a film called The Ascent. The film, according to a review on IMDB, is a highly fictionalised real-life adventure of an Italian soldier who escapes a British prisoner of war camp to climb the challenging 17,000 foot Mount Kenya and plant the Italian flag on the summit. That bit sounds non-fiction. It sounds a bit more fictional when the breakdown goes on to say, The obsessive British camp commander pursues him. And the two men are locked in a battle of wills, fueled by honour and their love for the same woman.

What? Okay. Why? What she come into it? What does him climbing a mountain have to do with loving a woman? Oh, Mary, whichever one of you gets to the top of that mountain. All right. She's standing up there.

She just strolled up. Whoever gets here first. Unless the woman is the mountain. Okay. See, now Dave's interested. Oh, hell. go. Any sex scenes in this? Oh, scantically clad mountain, hey? Oh, yeah. Oh, summer side for me. Oh, baby, I can see your peak. There's a bit cold up there. I can see your ice caps.

Is that anything? No. I've got to tell you the name, no picnic on Mount Kenya is much better than the Ascent. Yeah. Shit name. Yeah. And that's why it's, when I try to find it, there were like five different films with the same name as well. Yeah. Benutzi remained So remember his life before an international swimmer Oh yeah, this guy's amazing Yeah shit

Went over Unfortunately time for him Got caught up in a British Re-invasion I mean maybe yeah No whatever The history there I don't think Italy was

Really in a good In a in the Didn't have the higher ground there They did not have the high ground Until he climbed the mount Yeah He's like we did it And the woman was very happy.

And she went on to be his wife. Because he won. Silvivia's mother. Is this true? Sylvivia's mother said. Sylvivia's happy. Fenzi remained in the prison further three years after his return before being repatriated in August of 1946.

How long had he been in there beforehand? A couple of years. Right. So it was in there for quite a chunk. His post-war life also sounds fascinating as he became an Italian diplomat in 1948, diplomat, where he served around the world, including posts in Paris, Brisbane, Australia, Karachi, Canberra, Australia, West Berlin, and as head of the Italian delegation at the United Nations. What?

He lived in Australia. In Brisbane. That's where we are. I know. Crazy. Lyons also writes that in 1973, he was appointed ambassador to Uruguay and lived in Montevideo before retiring to Rome, serving in retirement as head of the Italian delegation for the Antarctic. Whoa.

What? These guys are like, I don't know why he's not as like a bigger name as Fabinucci or something. Fabinich. Yeah, that's ridiculous. Favonucci sounds like a real stud. Yeah. Fabanucci is on all the covers of all those boons and neal. Meals and boon.

Oh, Fabanucci. Of course, all things must come to an end. Oh. And Felice Banucci passed away in Rome in July of 1988, after 77 amazingly jam-packed years. Wow. I thought I'd finished with one final quote from Sylvia, Sylvia, Benucci.

She's become a cult hero. It's just a nice quote. Like the cut of her jib, Sylvia. Silvivia. She wrote, wrote, The idea of climbing Mount Kenya for the simple pleasure of doing so was just my father's idea of fun. Even in such extreme of circumstances, what he sought was to live the adventure and ever after he lived each moment of his life to the maximum because he realized that living was an adventure in itself. Oh, that's so nice. He sounds like a really cool dude. Yeah, that's an amazing story.

Just, yeah, imagine his temperament must have been, I imagine, super chilled, right? Yeah. Just to be able to do all these things so well, imagine he would have been a pretty laid-back guy, although he's still going, this hammering over here, I'm jealous of that. So maybe he was a bit of strong, I'm not sure. Yeah, who knows. Maybe a bit of both. And lucky that the guards were pretty inept.

Yeah. He was probably a bit of a nightmare to be married to, you know, always doing something. It's like, can you just sit down and watch a movie with me, please? You promised Friday night moving night. Yeah, I don't think she would have seen a lot of him. Yeah. He has renovations and he's off. He's gone.

And people are always renovating. Always renovating. I wonder if the security was so low at the camp because they knew that it was basically impossible to get away. I suppose it's like, well, good luck out there. Good luck out there, yeah. I wonder. Yeah. What a life.

What a life. Wow. And that is the end of my report, though. Well done. Great report. Thank you. Am I saying that right? Yeah, I think so.

Which brings us to the point of the show, which I think is everyone's favorite part of the show, actually. It's called the fact quote quote or question segment of the show. It's got a little jingle Jess does. Fact quote or question. Bing! Nice. And the way you can get involved in this is supporting us at Patreon.

At patreon.com slash do go on pod, where you can support us on a bunch of different levels for all sorts of different rewards, including bonus episodes, which we do a couple of a month. and many other things, including this one, if you support us on the Sydney-Shineberg Memorial Rest in Peace level, who was honoured at this week's Academy Awards.

Yes. That is right. In memoriam, there he was up there. I was watching it. I thought there he is, Sid Shineberg. But Keish Lorraine would have been sitting in the audience, Tijuana. Proud as punch.

Proud as punch. So what you get to do, if you're on the Sydney-Shineberg level, you get to give us a factor quote or a question. You also get to give yourself a title. And this week, Matthew Boar has given himself the title of head accountant for the council of Matt's regret face. Ah, didn't realize I needed a council for the regret face. Yeah, all right. But now that I know that I need one, I feel a lot.

What was the full title again? Head accountant. Head accountant. Uh-oh. For the council of Matt's regret face. I was hoping Jess wouldn't notice the account. accountant part of that role. Shouldn't he be the face account?

Oh boy. So he's given us a... Matthew has given us a fact this week. And I don't read these out until I read them out. Obviously, here we go. Matthew writes, fact. This is going to... This is going back to the Jimmy Barnes episode.

Oh, you're talking my language. This is going back to the Jimmy Barnes episode with the question being asked about eating a cat. What? Well, here is a fact for you. Do you recall us talking about eating a cat? Yeah. So you're talking about maybe they were so poor they had to eat a cat.

There was oats or something with cat shit on it. Oh, that's right. They're potatoes. Potatoes. They had to wash off the cat. But we thought that they were going to eat the cat. And then I said, aren't cats, can't they be poisonous? Okay.

Well, maybe this fact. That's the context there. Well done. Matthew writes, cats are more nutritious than dogs. With dogs protein per 100 grams at an average of 19 grams, while cats meat is around 21 grams per 100 grams. So from strictly a protein perspective, cats are better. Even stranger, though, is the fact that only a small handful of countries,

six outright ban consumption of these animals, with North America and Australia being on a case-by-case basis. So guard your pets. Huh. Wait. What? Case by cat. Who are you asking?

Yeah. The local sheriff? Hello, I'd like to eat this cat. It's case-by-case on Australia. That's interesting. It is very interesting. I always find it funny when. You know, like, it's weird to draw lines between which animals it's normal to eat and which aren't as well.

Yeah. But I understand why, because people get very attached to the common pets in Australia at least, are cats and dogs. So it feels weirder to some people, but cows are pretty cool looking things. Cows can be very cute. And pigs? Pigs. Pigs are cute. Pigs. Oh, little piglets.

Oh, man. Put them in gumboots. You're my friend forever. I never ate pig anyway I'd never I So I guess that says It suggests that cats aren't The poisonous to eat

But I look forward to a future fat Quetal question which debunks that Somehow Actually I love a debunk of a debunk Oh debunk to debunk Slam dunk debunk Thanks so much Matthew

That was a great fact That was very fascinating Cats are more nutritious Protein wise than dogs 2%. That does feel hot I mean I have no idea What how much of meat would

But that's like Yeah I have no idea if that is high, but it sounds high. 20% protein. That does sound high. 20% protein. Protein, give me two. I was thinking of that too.

Really? Protein. Protein. Give me two. Meatball. I'd also love to thank Saraj Paris. Saraj. Who's given himself the title of Chief Sardine.

And he's also given us a fact. I'm pretty sure. I just sent Saraj a t-shirt a little while ago. Oh, very cool. God damn legend Saraj. You know what you did. I'm wrong, in which case, hey, why don't you buy a t-shirt? That's how we guilt to everyone. Saraj Rides, hi! Exclamation mark.

Good strong start. Sending in a fact about where I live. Macau is the most densely populated region in the world with about 20,000, asterisk, people per square kilometre. I reckon I didn't send Saraj a T-shirt then for Macau. Since it's S-A-R-A-R-S-A-R-A-R-S-A-R. special administrative region of China. It's not the most densely populated country in the world.

That title goes to another casino town, Monaco. It has around 19,000, double asterix, per square kilometer. It'll probably lose this title soon because unlike most countries, Macau's land area is growing due to reclamation. Reclamation, reclamation, reclamation. Here's a Google Earth time lapse. Well, that one's just for us. Sons of Sarage, Chief Sardine and brand ambassador for Jaffer Juice,

brackets, OJ and Chucky Milk bracket. So his asterix, the first one was, oh, I see what he did. He said numbers rounded for Jess's comfort. So 20,000 is actually 20,286. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. I genuinely didn't hear that. So that is very helpful. Oh, it worked that well.

Well done. Wow, Chief Sardin. Oh, love it. Thanks, Sondrej, you goddamn legend. I've told you that before and I'll tell you again. that you're listening in Macau. That is cool. That's great.

Could we do a live show there, one of the casinos? Do we have another Saraj? That's crazy. He gets around, don't worry about that. We also love to thank a few other Patrions. Yes. And normally Jess comes up with a bit of a game, something based on the episode topic.

Yeah. I was, I was, um, cool. Um, what about, But we name their book type of their book, their autobiography. Yeah, fantastic. So instead of picnic, no picnic at Mount Kenya. Yeah. Where are they not having a picnic?

Exactly. Or something like that. Something like that. Well, may I kick it all off? Or do you have a better idea, Dave? I like it, Matt. Thanks, Dave. They've been a bookman as well.

And I'm on your book show last week and next week. And this week coming as well. Can't wait to record that second half. Can't wait to find out what happened. It happens in this tale of two cities. Charles Dickens classic. Yes, good fun, good fun. It was recorded the night before the Super Bowl, the first episode.

Yeah, that's right. And it was funny. I was remembering back to that the other day, I remember saying towards the end, I'm like, oh, words aren't coming too well to me today. That's a, yeah, that's a bad sign. Foreshadowing. So I'd love to thank from Maryland's or Maryland's, probably as we say it here, in Western Australia, Kelly, Clifeld.

Kelly. We've met Kelly. Kelly Clark. What's her autobiography? Her autobiography would be no shazam in my Shazawa. What a day? Wow. Don't use Shazam in the shower. Is it a self-help book? Yeah. And is she? And other life hacks. Oh, I love it. Shazimming is in the superhero or the app that tells you, what the song is playing. Man, if you have to ask, maybe you need to read the book. Okay, I guess I do. No Shazama and the Shazawa. And other lifehack by Kelly Clark.

Sorry, Kelly. Mostly out of confusion. I want to know of those. I love a life hack. Are they always baffling of that? I love life hack. There's these five minute craft videos that keep coming up on my Facebook feed, maybe because I've watched one and now they always come up and I just watch them because they're really dumb. Life hack ideas.

Some of them are so stupid. handy. It was someone like, why would I do that? Anyway, no, I can't think of an example now, but they're very dumb. They're not reusing plastic bottles or something. Yes. Or sometimes they're like, oh, this dress is too long.

This maxi dress is too long. So they just pull it up and wear as a strapless dress. And I'm like, well, that's not really a life hack. And you look dumb. Yeah, my key there would be don't buy a maxi dress. Yeah. If you don't want it to be maxi. Yeah, exactly.

Just buy a dress. End of you. video. You can also take up a skirt, you know? You can just hem it. Oh, yeah, hem a skirt, which is one of the chapters in Kelly Clark's book. Hema skirt. Hema skirt. Hammer skirt. No, no, no, nah, nah, nah. Stop. Hammers skirt. That's fun. All right, I'd also love to date. The music sounded nothing like Hammondon. Yeah, yeah. That's for copyright reasons. I realize that drew. I'm like, I can't find it. You said it more like,

Nanette, Net, Net, B, but a bad bad thing. How does the Hammondime go? It's hard to do that. No, that's... Danana, that's... Dan, nah, da-da-da-da-na. I'm losing it. I'd also love to thank also from Western Australia in Belmont.

It's Annette McTaggett. Annette McTaget. Annette McTaggett. And her book... No sleeping? On the run Oh With diarrhea

I can't get to sleep Yeah On the runs On the toilet Yeah You sure it's not just She's getting away No she's got the shits

The cops are following her She's got the squirts Yeah And they're trailing it Because of the squirts Yeah they're that bad Well the trick is You squirt backwards

Oh no Get them off the sand Literally She's squirted in circles Sorry I meant Not you It's a story about someone. It's a fictional story. Wait, you said it was an autobiography. No, but not in this case.

She's a ghost writer for someone else's autobiography. And it does not have the shits. Anymore. We've all had the shits at some point. Nah, not me. Never shitted. What do you mean? Never shitted. I've got it right now. And look at it. He's fine. It's why he's so pale. You are pale. Yeah, I'm not feeling too good. Anyway. You should speak to someone about that. Well, what you should do then, Dave.

I want a hot streak. Is thanks some people. That'll make you feel better. Thanks, Annette McTaget. I'd like to now thank Eva or Eva, probably Eva, probably Eva, Clark Leopard. Oh, my goodness. Clark Leopard, I'm having a real crack.

My goodness. From Toronto. From Toronto in Ontario, Canada. I love that some double barrels don't work, but Clark Leopard or Clark Leopard. That's very good. That's beautiful. Eva, Clark Leopard. And her book

Oh she's done her ACL No that's not anything It's ACL It's a knee Anyway Ligament That's how If you're ACL's being copyrighted

Do you call it your ACL? Oh yeah It's my turn What's her book called? No It's all got to start with no I think so No

No worries Have a bloody good one Wow Wow I can't We did our first non-Australian What's that like Subtitled

My 12 months down under Yeah Yeah, and that is also the Australian title in Canada. It says, no worries. Have it jolly Canadian time. A? Maple Leaf. Love it.

I mean, they do that for every country. Yeah. Big seller, this big seller. So thank you so much to Eva there. I would also like to thank. Few names. Got it on the cover. It's a moose riding a bear.

Which sounds difficult. But it's beautiful. I don't know it is, but typically and beautifully. That photo cost half a million dollars. I have not been drinking today. Here are some names coming at you, putting these together. David Jose Garcia Aranda. Oh, that's good.

D-J-G-A. From Round Rock, Texas. Round Rock. I love that, too. David, Jose Garcia-A-Randa. Love it. Love your name. The names today.

No, rocking. around this noggin. Whoa. I like how he didn't rhyme in the end because it felt like you were gonna. And then you didn't. It's like close-ish. I like that.

Rockin around this noggin. What's that? What kind of style of book? It's a book about moons. Oh. The little rocks around. Around the noggin, which is a moon. It's an allegory.

Right. A bit of a parable. So wouldn't the rocks be the moons and the Noggin be the planet. Matt, you've really just got to read it. Hey, can't. Don't judge a book by its title. Okay, please.

I should not do that. Okay, it's eye-catching, isn't it? It's got your attention, don't I? Yeah, I'm listening. You're reading the blue, aren't you? Flip it over. I'm listening to the audio book for sure. Yeah, welcome, David.

David Jose Garcia, Aranda. Many thanks. Many thanks to you. It's my turn to thank some people. I would love to thank from North Yorkshire. I would love to thank Liam Duncan. I'd love to have a beer with Duncan I'd love to have a beer with Dunk

He drinks in moderation And he never ever ever gets rolling drunk He drinks in the town and country Where the atmosphere is great Oh I'd love to have a beer with Duncan Because Duncan's me mate Yeah Hold on Liam

Thanks for bringing that to us So that's your book title But it's with no at the start No I'd like to have a beer with Duncan. I wrongly, that one's called No Pub with Beer. Oh. Another classic.

That's meaning nothing to leave Duncan properly. There's nothing so lonesome. Something or drear as to sit in the bar of a pub with no beer. Alim, if this makes no sense, just look up slim, dusty. And you're welcome. Yes. An icon. Released more than 100 albums, I think.

There was like a slim, dusty museum thing on my road trip over summer, and I begged to go, but it was quite a detour. And we did have to get somewhere. But I was like, come on! I don't know much about him. He'd be a good episode, potentially. Yeah, that's why I wanted to go. I say he'd be a good episode, but I know nothing about him.

Maybe it wouldn't be a good episode. Maybe it'd be quite dull. Who knows? Who knows? All right, and bringing it home, I would love to thank finally. Thank you to Liam again from Blackheath in London. David Hayden Two first names

Two cracking first names Are there? David Hayden David Hayden What's coming to mind For David Hayden What should we do Go around the world?

Yep I'll start with no Fuck you No Dentist At House time No dentist at house time

One of those ones Don't get it until the final page Then it all clicks No dentist at house time It's like turtles all the way down That's what happened in that book. Did you just ruin that book? Nah, I still don't fully remember.

Well, you get to the last page. Is it the last page? Turtles all the way down. That's the writer that you dislike. But I've read a lot of his books. But you read like nine of his novel. John Green, is it? Yeah, it's John Green.

I don't necessarily dislike it. I just think they're very formulaic. You know John Green's one of our most loyal listeners. And he's probably... Well, he's got my money for like nine of his books. He's fine. It's so funny to buy nine books of a person you don't like their writing of. I know, they're page turners.

Right. They're great holiday reads. You just read it. Wasn't I reading it on the UK tour? That's why, didn't I keep exclaiming at it? No, maybe on one of our interstate shows, I reckon you're on the plane going, oh. Yeah. I kept reading, though.

That's because I didn't have a switch yet. Now I have a switch. So the planes are different for me. Do you still play the farming game? I'm a bit over it. Really? Why, so I go back to it every now and then, don't you worry? Are you still married to that guy?

Of course. We're very happy. We have a child. Good for you. Oh, that's nice. Thank you, David Hayden. What a legend. What a legend.

And all we need to do now is induct a few fantastic guests into the exclusive triptych clubs. You may not remember this, but you attempted to do this last week and we said, no, just wait. Just wait. Okay. Well, just in case we've missed any because you were pretty keen and we were like, no, mate. That's all right, mate. Don't worry about it. Did I do the fact quota question?

No, we did. We did that. I think I do remember that. We did one each, I think. Great. So. I also think you didn't think any people either. Jess and I, did we just do three people's names each?

Yeah, I think we did, yeah. Well, that's no fun. All right, so this week, inducting into the Triptage Club, which is for Patreon supporters who've been supporting us for three years straight on the five, Buck or Above level. And firstly, I'd love to bring into the club from Detroit, Rock City. It's Reed to Taurus. Read to Taurus.

Read to Taurus. What a legend. I'd also love to bring in from New York City, New York State, Jacob Sullivan. Jacob, welcome. Woo! I should let Reed and Jacob know that Dave is going to put you on some sort of gold font on the web, side, I think. Yeah, at some point he's promised to do that and will and Dave never goes against his promises. Absolutely. I've got a lot of spare time coming up so don't you worry about that.

Fantastic. All right. I think that's all the inductees we have got in today. Well done. Reid and Jacob. We love you guys. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Man, I'm pumped. I'm so pumped. I'm so pumped. We are about to record a bonus episode for the Patreon. There are three bonus episodes coming out this month because of technical difficulties. One didn't come out at the end of last month. So now is a great time to join. We have released now over, this will be our 60th bonus episode.

There's never been a better time to buy. God damn right that. You got damn right about that. We put out two every month, the exclusion of last month, but we're doing three this month. So get into it. We've done 225 on the main feed. But if you want 60 bonus episodes, support us on Patreon. Do us a favour.

We love you for. it. Thank you so much. It's a support mean so much. Can you just give us one woo? Because Dave and I went really hard and you just sort of sat there chuckling, which was very sweet but also like give us a woo. Woo! Come on, Matt! Yeah. Come on, Maddie.

Join in, all right. Here he comes. You want me to attack it? Yeah, go for it. All right. Everything you got. Turn down your volume at home, everybody. Here we are. You want a big woo. Here we go. Hopefully you're not drifting off to sleep. This would be so annoying.

All right, here we go. Here we go. All right. Woo! That felt good. That felt good. That was, Thank you to bringing me in. Anyone in this studio.

That was huge. That was great. That felt nice. You look 10 years younger. That actually, I have been feeling stress and that probably did get a little bit of that. How is you need a little cry? I love a good cry.

Get in that fetal position. Get into the fetal position. Fuck yeah, I do. How do you cry? Standing up, you idiots. Upside down. They go back in. I'm hydrating.

Oh, that's smart. And save water. Yeah. You're like your own desal plant. Anyway. Resale plant, probably, if you're letting salty tears back into your body. Any that miss I put a bucket on anything I sell, though. So I am reselling all night long.

Fantastic. Just head to Dave Warnocky.com slash salty tears. Dollar a tier. Oh, that's. I'm getting rich. I'm getting rich. Well, we should wrap it up there. Dave, we're back next week with a.

the topic that you've had voted on by the people, and you would tell it's super close. Do you know what it's going to be yet? I do know what it's going to be. But it was, so I was getting people to vote. About half a third of the vote, 300 people had voted. Between first and second was two votes in it. Wow. I should say, I've put up, I've already got a vote up as well for my next topic,

but I put that up before realizing I had one last free choice. So I got to pluck this story out of the hat, which I just loved. It was put in the hat with this great little description, and that's, it got me hooked just on the idea of it. That's great. Just the story, a man breaks out of a war prison camp to climb a mountain and go back in. And turn himself in. Oh my God.

And without knowing what he did before and after that. Yeah. What a story. Well done. So yeah, we'll catch you next week. Please follow us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. What about following our personal accounts as well? They're all linked in the show notes too.

Yeah, I really want to get to 10,000 followers. So if you could, it's like... Which one you want to focus on? Instagram. Instagram. Well, I want to get to... I just deleted Facebook and Twitter off my phone, so don't bother with that shit. I want to get to 100 million followers.

Ooh, can I get to one trillion? One trillion dollars. Yeah. So all those sort of links are in the show notes. If you want to email us for any longer correspondents, please do. And if, yeah, like 3,000 of you want to follow me, that'd be great. Some people have said, I've known. noticed a few people say recently that they're getting to the air.

They've just got through our whole back catalogue and they're looking for other things to listen to. Well, Dave's up to how many book cheats now? It's 30 odd. Which is a very similar structure to do go on. So if you like this show, you're probably going to like that. Instead of telling a nonfiction story, Dave tells a fiction story from a classic book. I've been on a few episodes as Jess. I think it's one of the best pods out there.

Appreciate that a lot, thank you. Not quite as good as primates, a show about primates. I know. You had to know that was coming. Top five is pretty good. No, bookshed is, I think, indisputably a better show. But primates is more fun.

Less nerd. Even though some of the topics could not be any nerdier. There's been Star Wars and all that sort of stuff as well. And this other podcasts have been doing of recent times called Listen Now is just about to wrap up its first season this week. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? So you covered the albums of classic Aussie rock band, cold chisel.

Yes. So we're going to do a wrap-up episode coming up where Sam and I, my cousin, who are co-hosted with, we're going to go through the nine studio albums, rank them. We're also going to name our favorite songs, and we've got listeners voting on those sort of things as well. So we're just going to do a big wrap-up. And then I think the next season, as it stands, is going to be,

each week we're going to do a different band, different album. Maybe have guests on coming in and telling us about an album that's important to them. One of their favourites. So, yeah, hopefully you two can come in and do that at some point. I want to hear Dave's Barry Manilow and Jess's Houdie and the Blowfish. So I can't wait to hear more about that. Mine will obviously be a SCAR album. Dipping about my mouth.

I'm pretty sure Hootie and the Blowfish sound like they're probably a SCAT band. No. Scar band. Thank you. Who do SCAT. I hate SCAT. But I love SCAR. Oh, you love the SCAR.

Do you want to scar us out this week? Yeah, right. Dave, you talk over me. All right, fantastic. Thanks for listening. Hit us up and do go on pod.com. But until next week, also thank you and I'll say goodbye. Later.

Bye. Seamless transition from Scat to buy. Skar. It's SCAR. Sorry, sorry. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you.

Guys, it's, um, It's me, Dave Warnocky here. How are you feeling, Dave? I'm fucking pissed off. Why, Dave? I've got to make a retraction, a factual update, a little asterisk if you will. We just finished recording the episode. Dave, why are your eyes closed?

I'm too angry to look at you. Angry at myself. I've let the team down. I'm upset. We did the episode and I thought it was great. It was a great story from Matt. thought we had a bit of fun at the end of the Patreon episode. I was taking what I was about to take a piss.

And I suddenly realized, hang on. Fibonacci, that rings a fucking bell. It's the Fibonacci sequence. Not Archimedes was in the bath. It was fucking Archimedes. Fibonacci probably had a bath at some point. Surely he bathed. What, Dave, it's not like you'd get tweets about it.

No, I'm sure I have at this point. And if you have one, yes, I would like an apology. After my apology. Fuck. I came back in, I nearly punched a hole in the ball in here. Yeah, are you sure he's not the guy who watches dancing? Who are you thinking of? I think of Adam Garcia.

Adam Garcia. A judge on so you think you can dance. If I'd made that mistake, I would have definitely punched a hole in the way. Is that Adam Garcia from Monty? From Bootman. Oh, Bootchman and dirty coyotes. Dirty coyotes. Oh, they'd need a bath.

Much like Fibber. Blotchy. Oh, he doesn't need a bar. It was Archimedes. Fuck. Oh, the Archimedes' sequence of events that have led us to here. This is tragic. I need to take an Archimedes-style bath to watch this shame off of me.

It is wild that you made us drive back here, three, four hours away. We're all living in the country tonight. I know. Still haven't taken that piss. I'm too pissed off to piss. You came in real hot, and I reckon your piss might do the same. Yeah. Come out.

Can you temperament? affect piss temperature? Let's find out. Let's all go in. Let's go in. No, I'm not, we're not coming in with you. Stop asking. Please come in with me.

Please hold my hand. Matt, hold something else. Yes, go on. I, um, hold your peace. Forever. Yeah. I cannot believe. I object.

I thought that was a great episode and I'm really sorry that I said, uh, Archimedes. You didn't though. I went I didn't. Fuck. You made it unlistenable. to nerds who would understand the difference. Good people. There's no chance of editing out

because we talked about Fibonacci so much. So one's a scientist now there's a mathematician, is that what you're telling me? Oh no, now he's got to Google. Fivinacci is a mathematician. All right? That's all you need to know.

I wait until you're hearing you yell from the toilet again. Fuck! Fibonacci! And Skaramucci! Of course, Can I do the Rendeco? Archimedes was of course a fucking

a mathematician but also physicist, engineer, inventor and astronomer, you fucking dumb shit! He was regarded as one of the leading scientists in classical antiquity. I don't think we need to talk about that anymore. Fibonacci was the most talented

Western mathematician of the Middle Ages. Okay. You should do an episode on him to pay your debt. I'm so sorry to Fibonacci in all his relatives. I'd love to hear more about Fibonacci in the future. So you can say it to an episode when it's actually relevant. I'd love Dave to go take a piss.

Go take a piss. All right. Thanks, everyone. I apologize. Bye. Later's. Fuck! Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are

and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never, It will never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree.

Very, very easy. It means we know to come to you, and you'll also know that we're coming to you. Yeah, we'll come to you. You come to us. Very good. And we give you a spam-free guarantee.