Do Go On - 226 - The East German Balloon Escape

Episode Date: February 19, 2020

In 1952, East Germany was closed off from it's Western counterpart. Between the countries lay walls, barbed wire, minefields and lots and lots of soldiers. But that didn't stop the East German citizens from dreaming of escaping the oppressive dictatorship. In the late 70s two men got together and came up with a plan... to build a home made hot air balloon and fly their families over the border to a better life. This is one of the most audacious escapes ever attempted!Buy tickets to our live shows in MELBOURNE here: https://dogoonpod.com/events/Matt is performing his new stand up show MONKEY HOUSE in BRISBANE March 10-15 and MELBOURNE March 26-April 19, find more details/get tickets here: https://mattstewartcomedy.com/gigs (use the code 'podcast' for a special listener discount)Jess is performing her debut solo stand up show ALMOST in MELBOURNE March 26-April 19, get tickets here: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2020/shows/almostOur website: dogoonpod.comSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicCome to the Sanspants vs Planet Broadcasting Gameshow Showdown : https://m.moshtix.com.au/v2/event/plumbing-the-death-star/119488?skin=4406&fbclid=IwAR0J6Vm7PhBgS_QRj8L95o57Z22twh6hHnN6WfK6yH2RUEmrPlkUCSBge9E Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:Günter Wetzel's website:https://www.ballonflucht.de/en/idee.htmlhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_German_balloon_escape

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and I'm sitting here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. I mean, you sound a little disappointed. Oh, no, I thought that sounded nice. I was trying to give you the sort of respect your name deserves. Oh, no, I thought it sounded nice to me. He did sound like it was disrespectful to him. Yeah, right?

He was like, oh, and she's here. too. I'm here every week, except those two that I missed. If I was disappointed, you'd know about it. Jess. Perkins. Hi. That's a little confusing because my middle name is, yeah, I know. It was hard to spell, but my parents found a way. It was asterix.

Cysterix. The nurse is writing down the name of the birth certificate. What should we call it? Jess. Perkins. I love it. What ethnicity is that? It's quite original. Yeah.

That's quite original. And now here I am. It's a family name. Yeah. Her Nana was like. Lovely lady. Lovely lady. Fantastic woman.

Very entertaining. Oh yeah. How is everyone? I'm pretty good. Dave? Honest answer? No. Podcast answer.

Oh, I gave a podcast answer, please. Oh, I'm fantastic. Yeah, great. Now, I've just got a little bit of a cold. That's my real. That's a bit crook too. Did I give it to you? Maybe.

Was this from our make-out session? Yeah. Ever since we started making out, after we recorded episodes of book cheat, which was last night. That was our first ever book cheetah. And I felt sick ever since. I had a migraine today. Which one of you gave that to me?

Well, who have you been making out with most recently? Oh, most recently? Yeah. Well, Dave was late today, so, Matt. God, you snooze loose in this industry. I had you started you during it. Yeah, you did. Yeah, that's result.

Is that what a migraine is? Yeah, migraines are when you get head butted. They're head traumas. Right. Yeah, fact. Learn a lot. Yeah, you do. Anyway, so we're all.

Feeling great. Yeah, feeling great. Feeling bloody great. Well, I've got a hell of a report for you today. I'm going to put myself out there and say that. Is that a clue? Is it about the devil? Is it about hell?

Is it about Hell's kitchen? Is it about Gordon Ramsey? Yes. Oh, I got to live mine. There you go. Gordon Ramsey. He didn't even ask the question. That wouldn't be that.

I didn't really know much. He sort of just appeared on the scene one day in my life anyway. Yeah. Suddenly he was just. He was like a middle level soccer player? Like, you think it was semi-pro soccer player maybe? Is this true? I don't know.

I think so. No. It's more interesting than I actually thought it ever would be. He wasn't, was he? I think he was. I've made that up. I can't wait for a redaction at the end of the episode for the year. Oh, la last week.

Oh my God. The meltdown David Warnocky had. Must say, it was quite amazing. I guess to see how many people, it was just interesting, I should say, to see how many people listen all the way through to the episode. How many people clearly don't bother listening to the second half of the episode because last week I made a, let's agree with a mistake.

My goodness. A mortal scent confused Fibonacci with Archimedes. And I had to make a redaction at the end of the episode, some of which people have never heard. So if you haven't, I did realise. I did realise, okay? Just sadly we had done the whole episode. That's okay. You figured it out, though.

You did. And I'm just clarifying that Gordon Ramsey does have some kind of football history. Right. I was thinking Matt was confusing with Cristiano Rinaldo. A mid-level soccer player. chef. He's great. He invented the flombay technique.

Yeah. Which is doing good things. Yeah, that's great. Flombay is taking off around the world. So the way this show works, am I right in saying this? One of the three of us reports on a topic that we've researched, usually been suggested by a listener. So far, so good.

This week, Dave's done the research. He's telling the, doing the report. It's on a topic that Jess and I don't know. To get us on this topic, Dave is going to ask us a question. Matt, you nailed that. That was a succinct. Copy and paste for the next 300 weeks. Here we go.

Question for you to get us onto this topic. If you had to escape a country ruled by, let's be honest, a brutal dictatorship, what mode of transport would you use to flee such a country? Submarine. Okay. Even though they are the dumbest. I don't hate them. I think they're very dumb.

They're silly. They're a whimsical mode of transport. I've got to say this. Is there any other mode of transport that you look at and think that's dumb? Blimp. Blimp, even the word is so funny. Blimp. I've never thought about that before.

Blimp. Blimp. They're so dumb. They're a very slow, cumbersome plane. Blimp. Just take a plane. Oh my God, there's a thing called a blimp. A blimp.

And there was a time that it was rivaling planes. Blimp. Yeah. Like it looked like that might be the one. Dave, have a go. Blimp. Blimp. You can say, you got to do limp to say blimp.

Your mouth looks dumb. Oh, limp. Thank you. Blimp. Blimp. Thank you. Well, Matt, do you have a... Well, I guess it depends on what country.

So you're fleeing. Give you a clue. Why is he getting a clue? Because you sort of set it up for him nicely. It's halfway between a submarine and a blimp. Oh, it's a hovercraft. What do they call those? Halfway between a submarine and a blimp.

The clue's not very good, so don't worry about it. I have really haven't helped him out there, man. Thanks for covering up your hands. It's like 25% submarine, 75% blimp. What do you got? Oh, like an aquoplane. All right. Is it a boat?

It's 95% Are we talking about a car? It's 95% blimp, 5% submarine But there's a 5% margin of error Is it a plane? Is it a blimp? A zepplin It was halfway between a plane and a blimp

A plane and a blimp now We've talked about it on the show It's a hot air balloon It's a hot air balloon Well done Matt see You give him a clue And Matt he fires on all cylinders He gets there

Fuck That wasn't it was not a good clue That was a bad It sounded fun to me Halfway between the submarine And a blimp Well you got a hot air balloon I guess that is, yeah.

I'd want a quick getaway. And from my experience, hot air balloons, I mean, they take off fairly slowly. But what have you, what have I, I should have added this. What have you had to make your own transport? Okay. Would the hot air balloon, would that be the one that you think that you'd have the best shot up being able to just whip up yourself? No. It's about the movie up.

Well, close enough. Do you know what I'd be making? You're what I'd make? What would you make? A horse. Oh, yeah. Trotian horse. A bit of a breeding program.

Yeah, I'd make a horse. Can't be that hard. It cannot be that hard. How much Play-Doh you got? Oh, none. All of it. Is that a good stuff? I've got all of it because I took it all from that.

All right. So we use all of Dave's Play-Doh. And we craft a horse out of it. And then we give it a big hug. And we put all of our love into it. It's a magic hug. And then it makes the horse come alive. Do you have a magic hug?

Yeah. Wow. I did not know. Why do you do that? You should have just magic. Don't worry about those antibiotics, baby. I'll give you a hug. I always thought the magic hug was more sexy.

Oh yeah, okay, I'm not giving you a magic hug It's like how When a mummy and a daddy love each other very much How do babies get made? Well, mommy and daddy had a magic hug Yeah, well, Daddy gave a magic hug to a horse And you came along That's how he bribed me to stop talking about

How we had a weird thing with a horse Yeah, your cyclops son or whatever It's like clippity clopin Cyclops, that's all right, what are they called? Horseman, man horse, you know what I'm talking about? Sentor. Sentor. A one-eyed horseman.

Santor slash cyclos. All right, today I'm going to tell you all about the East German balloon escape. Oh, wow. I love this already. So East Germany was the Soviet side? That is correct. I'm going to give you a full background just in case. But this story or this topic was suggested by Elliot B from Salt Lake City, Utah.

Utah. God's country. So thank you so much, Elliot B. Now, people, if you want to suggest a topic, this is a good example of how to do it. Great. There's a link in the description of this episode. You can go to dogo onpod.com. You click that link and you can tell us why we should do that topic.

This is Elliot's pitch to us that I picked up on. It's like a combination of those reports on the Arctic balloon guy combined with the cold hits castle escape. Love that. And I was in. Two episodes that I've done that I really enjoyed researching. So I was in. This one is the one that I teased last week that went to the Patreon's. So it was so, so close.

After 300 votes, this one was only winning by two. Whoa. And after about 600 votes, it only won by about 10 overall. It's very tight. Really tight. Very tight. But I think they've chosen well this week. I wonder who lost.

Yeah, something else pretty good. Better was Greg Norman lipping out again. Sorry, Gregie. I can do a full report on Greg Norman. Well, what's I call him the shark? That's a two-parter. Why are you? I mean to Greg.

Remember what I tweeted? I tweeted Greg Norman and told him to give Jess. Hi, Jessica. because she's a really funny friend of mine. He never wrote back. Oh, okay. I do. I do so bitter on Greg.

Me too. I didn't get hired. Greg. It's a great name. Who's Greg Norman? Great. And he played golf. I love him.

And he's a chef. And now he's quite old and he poses nude and he's real buff. Sorry, what? Haven't you seen that? I've seen that. Yeah, he's a very, very fit man. In the dick. He's not a fit dick.

Well, I think he covers it. He covers his dick. covers up the wang but you get to see his strong upper thigh Yeah he's got real strong buttikin thigh Yeah my goodness

Yeah He could crush a golf ball Between his butto That's my dream for when I'm old To crush a golf A ball between your buttach No Well

Yeah New goal I just want to be like A very fit 70 year old Yeah I don't know if he's quite Maybe he'd be in his 60s

I'd say That's not Well let's find out Let's get a roll All right Let me tell you I want to report about Greg Norman I've got one for you right now

arguably the most successful athlete turned businessman in the world Greg Norman is known as much for his entrepreneurial spirit in the boardroom as his dominance on the golf course and this is shark.com slash the shark slash biography shark dot com

This is an unofficial I think this is official Oh I love that He got shark dot com Not even real shark Sharks, of which he is named after. He beat real sharks. That's why he's the shark.

I mean, I have... He out sharked the shark. It is my turn to do the Patreon bonus episode this month, the report one. Yeah. I haven't picked it yet. Oh, really? It could be a Greg Norman. I'd love...

Patreon, people, let me know if you want to hear all about the shark, Greg Norman. Oh, my God. Dave. That will absolutely piss off the guy that every week has been requesting we do Don Bradman. That's Gary Jay. Gary Jay. Sorry, Gary Jay. I'm going to do Greg Norman before the Don.

All right, let me tell you about this. the East German balloon escape. Now, we all know World War II was absolutely brutal, to put it lightly. Millions dead, millions displaced, countries destroyed, cultures almost wiped out. When Germany surrendered in 1945, the German state no longer existed, and an authority over the country was handed over to the victorious Allied powers. But Germany lay in ruins. Which I never really, you don't really think about them as much,

because they've inflicted a lot of damage. But then their country had been bombed to all hell. So this is a quote from Britannica to describe what it was like in 1945. The physical devastation from Allied bombing campaigns and from ground battles was enormous. An estimated one-fourth of the country's housing was destroyed or damaged beyond use, and in many cities the toll exceeded 50%. The end of the war came to be remembered as zero hour, a low point from which virtually everything had to be rebuilt anew from the ground up.

So Germany lay in ruins. The Allied powers devoid powers devoid. divided Germany into four zones. That's basically the people that won the war. America, Britain and France were in charge of the western two-thirds of Germany, later known as Western Germany. And the Soviet Union was given the Eastern third, later known as East Germany. Berlin, which was entirely in the Eastern Zone, was also divided into four.

And that's where you get the famous Berlin Wall, which is worthy of a report in itself. But that's not what we're talking about today. At first, they were all supposed to get along. It wasn't supposed to be two separate countries, but things sharply deteriorated. The countries had a lot of disagreements straight after World War II. The four countries' governments were run differently at home, and opposing social, political and economic systems began to emerge. Almost immediately, citizens of the eastern side of Germany started legally immigrated into the western side of Germany.

Of course, there is a word in German for this, because they have a word for everything, and that is Republic Fluct, Republic Fluct, which translates as desertion. from the Republic Fluct Republic fluked Get flooked I picture the western side has been like rainbows and unicorns

and the other side being desolate wasteland With lots of thunderstorms Yeah Yeah That's sort of how it kind of become People wanted to get out Because it was drab and dreary And it was like

Grey And just grey Yeah And lots of communist architecture Yeah Communist But then there was that sort of That gold ball pointy thing

Did you Yeah been at Berlin. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. On the eastern side, they wanted to build something to show that they were just as hip and up to date with everything as the West. So they built this big spire thing. And then it, the way I just did a walking tour and the way the guy explained it was,

there was a reflection on it that they couldn't get rid of no matter what they tried. The sun would always hit it in this spot and they tried all these different surfaces and stuff. This is like from 10 years ago, so I'm misremembering. And, yeah, they just could never fix that issue. And did that thing set fire to half the city? Oh, no! Not again! The sun's coming out behind the clouds.

Everyone duck for cover. The midday fire. And they're like, just like, we like it in the east. Just like it. See, we've got to ask. They're very proud. Yeah, they'll drink their turnip juice and... So, love...

You think you're trying to reference Shelbyville there? Well, you know, like they... They pretend that that was how they always wanted to be. Yeah, the lemon tree. It was cursed lemons. Yeah. Now let's celebrate with a cool glass of turnip juice. Cursed democracy.

So millions of people started immigrating from the east to the west, but that's all completely illegal after World War II. But in 1949, the two halves of Germany split and became their own countries, the Federal Republic of Germany, known as Western Germany, and the German Democratic Republic, known commonly as East Germany. Right. East being the communist side. In West Germany, the government was democratically elected and political life was pretty stable.

However, over in East Germany, as in the Soviet Union that ruled it, the government served merely as an agent to the all-powerful communist-controlled party. Life was seen as less authoritarian in West Germany, rainbows as Matt is saying. So many Germans in the East migrated over. Some estimate that millions of them left. Between October 1945 and June 1946, so less than a year, 1.6 million Germans are thought to have left the Soviet zone for the East. And did you say that was legal or illegal? So at that time, that was legal.

Yeah, right. They were like, all right, cool. Come and go. We're going to go over there because they're not telling us what to do. And they're like, okay. And this was a significant problem for the East, as many of the immigrants were well, or immigrants were well educated young people. Yeah, why would you stay? Why would you say?

And that further weaken their state economically. Right, of course. It was one of those classic things where you have a brain drain. You're like, oh, a lot of the people that had great ideas have now gone over there and now we don't have those people anymore. We don't have young people. Well, don't worry, we're going to build a tower. That'll get them back. We just don't have anyone who knows anything about mirrors.

You just got all these dumb people seeing themselves in reflections and screaming. Is that me? So in 1952, East Germany, They were absolutely fed up with millions of their people leaving. They were losing everyone. They decided to fortify their border and close it off to people emigrating west, basically locking people in. Jesus.

They'd also tell you it's to keep people out, but really it was to keep people in. A plowed strip 10 metres wide or 32 feet wide was created along the entire length of the inner German border. And then an adjoining protective strip, or the Schust Stryphon, which was 500 metres or 1,600 feet wide, was placed under tight control. And then there was a further 5km. restricted zone around this. So they created a real bit where you're not allowed to go anymore. Wow. Residents living in these areas had to be resettled because there were people living on those borders.

Oh my God. Thousands of guards patrolled the area and it was suddenly much more difficult to get to the west from the east. And they outlawed it as well. They moved people closer in to keep them, like keep them in. No, you can't live here anymore. We need this area for a weird border we've come up. a wall. Your house is now part of the wall. So it was way harder to leave, except in Berlin, which was still half controlled by the West. So what people would do from the,

because that was inside the eastern side. There's just this little circle of Berlin, which is half western. So what people would do is they just go to Berlin for the day. And there was no wall at that time. So they just go over to the Western side, go to the Western airport and just fly anywhere in the world. Oh, shit. So like you just, you can just, leave that way. Right. They could still leave. Between 1949 and

1961, an estimated three and a half million East Germans, which was one sixth of the entire population, emigrated to the West, mostly via this Berlin loophole.

So that's why they put up the Berlin wall to cut that up as well. So that's two walls. There's one along the border and there's one surrounding the western side of Berlin. After 1961, there were a lot less border crossings.

So they've slowly cut off all the borders. More walls were built, barbed wire was installed, mines were laid. They put down in minefields. That's how seriously were about this. Guards were increased and given orders to shoot. People on site if they started to make a break for it. But this didn't keep everyone in. There were a lot of daring escapes that were made.

Children were smuggled out in freezer vans, hidden under stuffed pigs carcasses. Gross. No thanks. A doctor swam 45 kilometres or 28 miles across the beach. Baltic Sea just to get out. So desperate to leave. So desperate. So you can't even,

they can't go to other countries anyway. They can go to other Soviet-controlled countries and it's also difficult to live. So you go to like, Czechoslovakia for a holiday, but then you can't leave there. Or you can ask very few people who are granted leave passes

and a lot of the time you're expected to come back. But I imagine you're like, well. Isn't it funny? Just make a better country. Yeah, make it a better place to live. You're focusing on the. wrong thing. All that money is spending on mines and walls.

Just make it a nicer place. Put in a pool. It's like neighbors. People leaving because they want a pool. That's it. First thing I went on holiday. The guy went to swim 45 miles to get to a pool. There's neighbors having a party either side.

One party's real cool. And the other one sucks, but then they're not allowed to leave it. You stay at this party. I know we've only got dry bread and they've got a pool. but bad luck I've locked the door There's a lock There's a chain on that door

You live here now You'll actually blow up If you're trying to leave Now eat the bread Enjoy your bread Another one did that That same journey But on a blow-up air mattress

The 45K or 28 miles Across the treacherous baltic On an air mattress But I'm swimming Oh yeah that sucks But I'm thinking on an air mattress Like I must have had some kind of What's this?

What am I miming here? Thank you. A paddleboard? Yeah, if you stand up paddleboard, that makes more sense. The Suras time the other day, it was for the stand-up paddleboard festival, and then it said, the largest stand-up paddleboard festival in the southern hemisphere. I love it. How many are there?

I love largest in the southern hemisphere things. How many are there? I've never heard of another one. That's the first I've ever heard of it. Me too. For me, I guess that could be the largest in the world, and I wouldn't question. But we're not even really in that community, you know? When's the last time you were?

went stand-up paddleboarding. Oh, I mean, how many days in a fortnight? Yeah, right? Who knows? Too many. Did you read about this escape? Again, it's a vague memory from when I was in Berlin about a car driving through the checkpoint?

Not in this story, but I remember hearing about that maybe when I was there. Apparently, it was something like they built, like they had a fake, a false back on the, on the top of the car, maybe it was built to fall off so that to, and then drive it, so they lay down and had a fake person, like a dummy. So they could drive through and the checkpoint barrier would knock the top of the car off but they'd still drive under the barrier. There was all these genius sort of things.

There was one heartbreaking one where this guy went over the border and he found a woman who looked like his wife. He already could get in and out. He found a woman that looked a lot like his wife, got her to fall in love with him, brought her back over the border. No. Use her passport to smuggle his actual wife out and left.

No. Sounds like a myth, right? This is what there's walking tour guy told us. That's like, that's a catfish. Yeah, that's, oh, that is how brutal is that? You've also got to have pretty good self-confidence that you think, oh, that woman looks on my wife. I reckon I could get it to fall in love with me.

Well, I've done it once. What if you're made her and she's like, I remember you happily married? No, you're not. You're not now. It's got to ruin that marriage as well. Yeah, it's a lot of work. And then trap her. I'm going to start thinking.

about just walking along the street as I see people, just thinking, could I make you fall in love with me? Make, too. Make is the best word there. Well, that's the only way you get people to love you, isn't it? You make them. Hold them down. Love me! Love me!

I'll give you a special hug. Love me! I want a special hug. Okay, I won't if you love me. Love me! Jess is yelling at horses later. Love me. I just want people to love me.

You've got to find a horse that looks a lot like my wife. Luckily, she looks like a horse. You leave the horse behind. People like, oh, Mary, is that you? That's a wild story. Yeah. It's one of the ones that I hope it's true, but I also don't want to be true. Totally, totally.

I don't hope it's true. You fucking monster. Why would you hope it's true? Because that is historically an amazing story. Yeah. Basically, so Matt can do a full report on it because it's awesome. Sure. All right, so lots of people tried to cross over this border.

the most famous escaped attempt over the east-west border, excluding these a lot of famous Berlin ones, was the East German balloon escape, the real subject of today's episode. Ah, yes, we got to directly. Well, that was the historical background there. So a bit of information as to why these people would be so desperate to leave. And thank you for that information too, though,

because I hadn't, I don't think I've thought much about, obviously I knew east and west and the significance of the Berlin Wall coming down, but like I'd never properly thought about why that happened or the conditions for people. Like, it's horrendous. Yeah. And another big tragic part of it is that families were split up a lot of the time. So that, you know, during this period where you could just walk across the border and no one cared. And then suddenly these barriers go up.

You're on one side, your family's on the other. Or, you know, you've been displaced because of the war. Yeah. People that you used to be able to just go and, you know, visit. You can't visit them. Yeah. So people didn't see their family. family for decades.

It's insane. So the two main players in this story are Peter Strelzik. Strelzik. Just realized I never said it out loud. Peter Strelzik, a 37-year-old electrician and former East German Air Force mechanic. Okay. And Gunter Wetzel. Guntar Wetzel.

Probably Gunter Wetzel. That's a fantastic name. Gunter Wetzel. Guntz Wetzel, a 24-year-old former bricklayer. Okay, a couple of tradies. So Peter Strelzik and Gunter Vetzel. Peter being the old one, Guntor being the younger one. Jeez, Gunter's name just made me instantly hungry for a big old pretzel.

Oh, man, I'm always hungry for a pretzel. There's a, so there's a shop on Chapel Street now called pretzel. And you'll never guess. What I self. Is that the one that everything's hot pink in there? Yes. Everything is hot pink. It is not hot pink, it's more like a peach pink, Dave, Jesus Christ.

It's kind of overwhelming to look at. It is quite overwhelming. I looked away. Also, more importantly, they're within my Uberites radar. Really? So I can just get fucking pretzels brought to me. It's pretty far. I'm not.

Soggy by the time I got to you? No, it's still good. And what, it only doubles the price for delivery? Yeah, they're expensive pretzels to begin with. Great. So I was going to pay for that pink paint. Yes, you're right. Anyway.

I've got to get on that triple J money where you can just order pretzels. Yeah. Yeah, get on that ABC money. One shift a week. Real good cash. What are you making three, four million a year? How do we get on that gravy train? Oh man.

Hey, our textiles have paid for those pretzels. So you enjoy them? Yeah, I do. Thank you. Yeah, that was the point of me bringing it up. Just thank the nation. One time I got two. I got a salt one and then I got a cinnamon one.

Oh, two meals. It was so fucking good. You could do three-cost meals. That was a lunch. You get a garlic for entree. Of course. Then you get your salt. Classic.

Classic. Classic. And then, yeah, cinnamon dessert. Yum, yum, yum. Give me some dense bread, please. Yeah, three, please. I don't want a shit anymore. I'm done shitting.

Thanks, have a meal deal called that. I don't want a shit anymore. Three pretzels to the price of two. Sorry. All right, so we are one sentence in here. So sorry. Peter and Gunter. That's what I'm trying to tell you about.

Gunter has made me just want a pretzel. What is a pretzel? The two men worked at a plastics factory. near Posneck in East Germany. Like many of the 17 million who were trapped in East Germany at the time, they dreamt of escape. These dreamers, common as they were, had to be careful who they confided in,

as it was possible their ambitions could be reported to the secret police. Convited. Sounds German. Yeah. The German accent. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The secret police, the dreaded Starsi.

Stasi. I used to wear stasi pants when I was younger. They were so cool. They were cool. Then the Berlin War came down. Then so did the big baggy pants. Full of secrets. They're all declassified.

Feel kind of bad now. Check the back pocket. Declassified my pants. Oh, not Stussy. A lot of people wanted to leave East Germany for financial reasons. People in West Germany were generally much better off. The younger man in our duo Gunter resented the limitation on jobs that the dictatorship imposed on its people and refused to join the Communist Party just to get ahead in life.

He later wrote, Quote, life in East Germany was far from satisfactory for us. There was a whole list of things we found objectionable because we had to put up with and factor in so many constraints. Fundamental reasons were that it was not possible either publicly or in one's private circle to voice one's opinion because one could never be certain whether one or even several persons present were police informers.

You couldn't even trust your friends. Like this podcast, for example. Oh yeah, you definitely wouldn't do a podcast, would you? You know what I think? You know what I bloody reckon? And put that out It's great Three cheers for Stussy

Yeah I think It's funny how Real full-on Evil governments Make people feel real paranoid Really? It's so weird

It's one of those weird side effects For that what you're telling us These guys are governed by a pretty Bad A bad type Pretty bad Who is the big boss Well it started out with like Stalin

and all that sort of thing and then continued on. Oh, right. This is Lannon and the Stalin or whatever. Is that what that was? Yeah, well, this is post-World War II. Right.

Oh, yes, of course. I knew that. I know all that. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I watched the death of Stalin. He's got an English accent. I know it. Yeah, exactly.

So you'd never be certain he could talk to you, but these two guys, Peter and Gunter, worked together for four years. They struck up a friendship and confided in each other eventually that they wanted to escape East Germany. It soon became all they talked about. They brainstormed ideas as to how to get over the border, one of which was to build a

helicopter and just fly over it. Build a helicopter. They gave up when they realized they couldn't get their hands on an engine big enough. That was the only fault. To build a helicopter. Well, they're pretty handy guys. Oh, actually, did one of them, what was? Was in the German, East German Air Force. And a mechanic as well. So you think that he knows where he. And the other a brick layer? Bricklayer. I want, I want to see a brick helicopter. Get it up there. Sometimes. That's why they needed a big engine. Sometimes in these kind of stories, I basically project my own knowledge base onto people. So I'm like, what the fuck do they know about?

What do they know about helicopters? It's like, he was in the Air Force. Ah, he might know a bit then. Because in my head, I'm like, I don't know anything about that. Therefore, no one does. But can't he name all the Kardashian and Jenna sisters? I don't think so. Fuck, I think I can.

Kim. Crystal. No. No. They're all K names, though, right? Yeah. Well, surely there's a crystal. No.

No, there's a Chloe. They went with Courtney with a K. Chloe. They went Kendall before they went Crystal. I like that they've committed to the joke. There's also a brother, Rob. Is Kardashian with a K as well? Yeah.

Is that why they like to be KK? So you got KKK, I guess, with the three sisters. Huh. What are they trying to tell us? So they give it up on the helicopter. Yeah, which they do know something about. Eventually they happened upon the idea that maybe they could just fly over the border, not in a helicopter on a plane, but in a homemade hot air balloon.

There is debate as to who came up with the idea, as both men would later claim to have thought of it first. Of course. And then told the other one. That means they... That means they... It's like us and the name do go on. Yes. Oh, I'm sure history will show.

How? How will history show? The note section on my phone. Yeah. Irrefutable evidence. I think what actually happened was you gave me a list and I'm... picked out to going from it is what I think happened. But I also maintain...

You're a big part of that. Yeah, you came up with it. You came up with it. I just gave you the confidence. You made it so the show wasn't called. It starts with a question. Yeah, you had some bad ideas. Oh, have I revealed them before?

There's some shockers. What was the best decision, though, early on with the podcast? What was the best call that you made at the two of you? I reckon the blue and yellow colour scam on the logo? Yeah, that's great. We didn't realize how long lasting that would be. But honestly, years later, I'm like, still there. We did it.

That's lasted longer than... We did it. Well, not you and me, Dave. We've been there since the start. That's right. And then came the colours. And then, you know, there was other bits and pieces along the way. You got an email address.

Too many to mention. Too many pieces. Yeah. Anyway, fuck both of you. This wouldn't work without the yellow and blue. It's the one key to our success. Yeah. The chemistry of the yellow and blue working together.

Oh, yeah. And Jess. Looking at your face. So you're wanting us to say you? I guess you're important in some ways as well. I could easily see the colours yellow and blue sitting in that chair. Because I'm wearing green. Well, there you go.

That's yellow and blue together is what you're saying, I guess. Yeah. You guys are yellow and blue and I'm that sweet green. You're the Venn diagram middle section. Yes. Nice. It's kind of true in a lot of ways. Anyway, Dave, do you go on?

So they debate as to who came out with the idea, and we'll talk about their relationship as time goes by. But Peter, the older man... Was it sexy? Oh, sadly not. Special hugs. Magic hugs. Just angry hugs. Peter, the older man,

claimed the idea was inspired by a TV show he saw on hot air balloons. Gunter, however, maintains that he proposed the idea after, by sheer chance, his wife Petra, her sister, who had already left East Germany in 1958 and was out by this time, came to visit. So sometimes people could come and visit. She brought with her a newspaper in which the annual international balloon fiesta in Elbuquerque, the USA was reported. Wow.

Love how specific that is. It included photos of hot air balloons and that's why the idea struck his mind. That's a weird thing for German newspapers to be reporting on. Yeah. You know? Surely there's more important things. Like that glean off the new tower.

Yeah. How do you fix it? Twelve killed by glean. I've looked it up and I can't find anything about them struggling to get the glean off. It is famous though. The tower is called the... How do you say that, Dave? Oh, sorry, I've got to get close to my face. The Berliner Fernsatum.

Yeah. Okay, the television tower. It's cool looking, and it does have, like, it's got a famous glean that hits it, which is nicknamed Pope's Revenge. That's great. According to a little website called Wikipedia, it says, When the sun shines on the Fernsterns tiled stainless steel dome, the reflection usually appears in the form of a cross.

Berliners nicknamed the luminous cross Rakh, des, Pupsdies, or the Pope's revenge. For the same reasons, the structure was also called St. Walter. U.S. President Ronald Reagan mentioned this in his tear-down-the-wall speech on the Tooth of June 987. Unread through that paragraph and sort of faded out on what was relevant to what we're doing. So they both claim the idea.

Gunter still maintains a website about the duo's exploits, He really tries to sell that he was the one who thought up the idea. Wait, what? Oh, cool. Goodness of the Live. Yeah, maintaining a website. Wow. There's something in my head is like, wait, what a guy from this story maintains a website?

How? He also paints himself in a pretty good lie. This is from his website, balloonfluked.de. The balloons fucked. I fucked the balloon, not the other guy. I get it. He said, this is him quote, I immediately told Peter Streslick about my idea. I remember the day we made this decision very well as it was the 7th of March, 1978.

One day before International Women's Day, which was actively celebrated in East Germany, end quote. I was trying to make him sound like a real ally. Yeah. I don't know that it was. Was it? Well, communism, communism all about everyone's even. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

So you wouldn't put women up ahead on one day, would you? It should be People Day. Yeah, people day every day. You sound like everyone on the text line on. International Women's Day when we only put female presenters on. It's really fun. Triple J, listeners are, what are you saying?

They're not. They're great, they're the best. Whoever thought up the idea, both men agreed that if they were to go for it, it wouldn't be just the two of them, that have to build the balloon large enough to carry them, their wives and their four children who are aged between two and 15.

And their livestock. And their houses. The refrigerator. It's okay. but they can just dangle the barbecue the stove underneath them. That was the most outrageous part about the Arctic Balloon story. I was so dumb. Dangling a barbecue.

How do we cook food? Let's just take a barbecue with us. Obviously, you just have to parachute down to it with your tongs and, you know, you flip a few. Fry up some meat and then climb back up. Yeah, then you go, obviously. You got a parachute back up. You've got a rocket pack back up. So you're going to have to get good of these skills before we take off.

You've got a week. Yeah, six to seven hours later you got toast. Yeah. So you also need to invent a rocket ship, rocket pack. I call it rocket ship in a backpack. But you can shorten that to rocket pack if you want. I thought up this idea on International Women's Day, which I respect a lot. Yeah.

Well, I actually believe in women. I think they exist. I haven't seen one but I'm pretty sure I'm very confident that they do exist I've heard legends and you know I like to believe a few conspiracies and also can petrol gas melt a building

I don't know if it can I reckon women can exist I haven't looked into either to be honest I've got a funny feeling so once both men agreed that that was their plan they had to break it to their wives and children and convinced them that the journey would be a possible and B

safe for everyone in the family. Great. There are two of the things that I'd want ticked off first. Possible, that's a big one. Safe, also pretty big. I'd go the other way around. Oh, really? Yeah, well, that's safety.

Safety first. Safety first. Yeah, you coined that phrase. Yeah. As long as it's safe, doesn't matter if it's possible to me. It's not possible, then you're safe because you haven't done it. Yeah, great. Fine.

All right, so we'll tick that one off. Now let's get on a possible. I put seatbelts on everything. Yeah. Yeah. They're not a table. to anything though. You're just wearing sashes all the time.

Safety first. Why do all your sashes say best person on them? That's my seatbelt. Don't worry about it. Why do you constantly have whiplash? Just attached to everything. Yeah, but safely. Yeah, safely.

I'm harnessed into life. This is again from Guntas website talking about breaking into their families. We presented our ideas very convincingly and objectively because both my wife Petra and Peter's wife, Doris, agreed to them. Doris. Great.

Doris is good. Petra's great. I love that. Petra. Petra. Petrified. Hopefully not. Hopefully she has a nice trick.

Because it's A, safe, be possible. Or the other way around. No. You have it right. A. Safe. Tick, tick. B possible.

C. Bit of bloody fun. Bit of fun. Can we have all three? That's all I want. That's the trifecta. What do you get the man who's got everything? All the above.

Bit of fun. You get him a bit of fun. That's voucher to C World. He just slide a voucher to C world. He just slide a voucher to see. World of Christel. There you go. Enjoy that.

Enjoy so. That's good for use between now and the end of June. Get on it. Make your plans. It expires in three weeks. I got it from my birthday four years ago. So if you can organise an audio from work, I'd get on it. But I'll promise you one thing.

It is possible. It is safe. It is possible. And it is B relatively safe. If everyone except that giant killer whale. Oh. There is a giant killer whale. On the loose?

Yeah, and it's unsafe for him. So they got to work coming up with the design. They were both pretty handy guys, electrician and mechanic and bricklayer. Probably better the electrician and mechanic. Anyway, but neither had ever made a hot air balloon before. Funny about that. They didn't have any plans to base their design on,

much like last week. They just kind of guessed based on a few photos that they'd seen. I love. I love this. Last week, yeah, the guy climbing a mountain based on a label of a biscuit fan. And what I think was the label on a can of meat and veggies. I posted on our social media. It is so sketchy, like squinting at it to be like, is that even a man?

I could have drawn one without ever seeing it and it would have been just as valuable. I can draw it out. It's like a triangle. Yeah. It's basically a triangle. So these guys had seen... I just can't see. Where's the huge words spelling out meat and veg?

Can't see it. Because we were just going to go underneath that bit. Potassium. Where is it? So they're just looking at a photo going, I reckon I can make that. The formulas necessary to calculate the balloon's dimensions were taken from the reference book's Brockhouse Physics Lexicon and the handbook syllabus for gas engineers, just in case you too want to design your own balloon at home.

Oh, and I do. They calculated the weight of the passengers and the craft itself to be around 750 kilos or 1650 pounds. based on the photos that decided that the balloon would need to be 1,800 square metres in total. So quite big. Sorry, 1,800 cubic metres. Okay. I'll talk about the actual dimensions from the ground up. Fantastic.

Thank you. We don't want another incident where you have to yell at the end of the episode. Curf! Fucking gym! You went, we finished recording, you went to the bathroom, Matt and I were having a chat and we just had, oh no! And I thought someone had broken in and you were in trouble. That would be a great reaction of someone coming at you.

Oh no! An intruder! Leaving the studio last night, I just had a weird feeling. I recorded booksheet with Matt and cast last night, which has just come out this week yesterday. Tale of Two Cities Part 2. Anyway, it was a lot of fun. I had to stay around to mix the episode down. So I left late at night on my own and I was. thinking, about to open the front door,

got a weird feeling. But I open the door and there's just like a guy absolutely losing it out the front, kicking cars, yelling in the street and I just quietly close the door and walk back upstairs and just watch this guy for about five minutes. There's a dog that barks across the street here.

He was yelling, what are you got, dog? What are you got, dog? Does the dog have anything? Well, he just kept going, Oh, no, oh, is that all you got? Huh? I say it to my face.

I am. That's okay, that's odd. It was strange and he went around the corner and I gave it a couple more minutes just in case it got to my car and drove away very fast. Oh, that's a bit scary and weird. After a bit of trial and error, they worked out the shape that the strips of fabric would need to be if they were to create their own balloon. They ran into their first problem and that was that they needed a lot of material. Yeah. The town they live in was quite small and only had about.

20,000 inhabitants and they'll worry that acquiring a lot of material might tip off the authorities. Yeah. Because remember, everyone's always dobbing on each other. Yeah. What do you need all that material for? Oh, I'm building a big dress. Oh, really like MC Hammer? Yeah.

Or can you just got to go to a lot of different Lin crafts. Like a lot. Every Linndrath in East Germany, which is none. Ah, okay. What do they got Spotlight? Yeah. I got 600 Spotlight. Oh, yeah, great.

Yeah, if I just go to every spotlight. in Germany. No one's looking twice because that's just my normal week. Yeah, I do that every week. I do every week. I do every week. I say, hello, me again. Me again?

Could I get another roll in your hot pink slash peach pink? Yeah, no different. There's a fucking difference, you psycho. It's not a hot pink. I pointed a color and said, that's orange. And my girlfriend said, that's copper. And I was like, what? That's a cop out.

That's a cop out. That's a pretty different color, I assume. based on the way she said it. She said it like Dave's an idiot. So if Dave's an idiot, we're definitely idiots. I was definitely wrong. I was like, huh. Copa's like a brown orange, right?

Yeah. Looks like, is it like copper the metal? Yeah. Yeah, all right, now I'm getting it. No, you're getting it. What's the color of a 10 cent piece? Copper. That's not true, is it?

Silver. What's the color of a two cent piece? It's probably what they used to say. Yeah. Now you can't do that one, I don't. I still do. It's fun. I saw someone post today. Someone, I can't remember the relevant.

Dane Simpson posted some joke about a policeman and someone commented. I used to sing two songs after I had a few drinks. One of them was, we're going home in the back of the divinity band. And the other one was, what's the color of a two-samp piece? Kappa. That was the whole comment. Was it relevant at all? I guess sort of. I think Dane said something about police. Okay.

And then this person just decided to jump. Was it you that commented? No. I'm going to go check. Anyway, sorry, Dave, do go on. It just sent me back. I'm like, I don't know how you got here. I've already said do go on.

Oh, I thought you were talking to me. Do go on about the copa. So they're worried about tipping off authorities if they buy every bit of material in town. Yeah. So they visited neighboring towns, but they couldn't find what they wanted. Finally, they traveled 50 kilometers or 31 miles to a place called Gira where they purchased one meter or three by three meter wide rolls of cotton cloth totaling 850 meters or yeah 850 meters in length

that's a lot nearly 3,000 feet at a department store that's so funny no not nothing suss what i hope is that they had to they had to sneak out into west germany to get it and then sneak it back in it oh we'll never get that in the east better go out west i know Hey, let's take the wives and kids just for like a day trip. I know a tunnel. Great haberdasches out there. Oh, man, the haberdashes. I would not wear a suit made in East Germany.

Oh my good, I'd rather go naked. And I have. I'm naked right now. As you can tell. I know. I'm in the room with you. So they bought 850 metres off of cotton cloth. The shop manager was astounded by the quantity,

but the men told him they needed the material to line tents at their local camping club, which must have satisfied him because he never snitched on him. We are building 6,000 tents, and he's like, huh, say no more. Great. It's for the cause.

So now they have their material. The Irish band, the course. They all need a 10. There's heaps of them. They've all got big Irish families. Well, one. Gunta got to work on stitching it together. This is all the material.

To do so, he used his mother-in-law's 40-year-old Gritzner, which was a sewing machine, which despite its age was very reliable. Yeah, they don't build them what they used to. I don't. I bloody don't. I was very bad.

We had to learn how to sew in high school because I went to a girls' school and that's what women need to do. We did not do any kind of woodwork or middle work. I did woodwork. My teacher's name was Mr. Chalk. We learnt to sew.

Come on, mate. Pick the right trade. He did chalk work. Come on. Come on, do chalk work. But I used to, there was like this teacher's assistant in the class that would help us all with like the sewing machine and stuff. And I would always go, could you just show me again how to how to do that particular stitch? And then she'd just do a section of it.

And I would do that every class until she basically made it for me. That is really smart. That's really smart. Well done. I had to do one semester of textiles, which was basically sewing things together. Yeah. And that is the only subject I nearly failed at high school. school.

Really? I cannot tell you how bad I was. I believe it. Any practical skills? I got to pass out of absolute pity. When they eventually change schools to be more practical, kids like you were not going to make it. Yeah, you're fucked.

I don't need to go back to school. We've got my diploma. They can't take it back. I think they can. Can they? Under the new regime. Yeah, you're fucked. What school, why textile?

Why don't I ever get to do textiles? Did I? Surely at some point. I don't remember. Anyway, so they're using the old trusty sewing machine. Yeah, the Gritsner. To ensure the sturdiness of the craft, Gunta used a double stitch normally used for leather.

Right. So he's sewing the shit out of it. Yeah. Oh, they should have used leather. Imagine a big other leather balloon. Don't worry, I'm... That'd look real hot. You go to the department store you say,

I've just joined a bike again. My whole crew needs leather jackets. We're all making jackets. It's our first activity together. Was I love the idea that the guy's like, I didn't even ask. Yeah, I don't care. Yeah.

Mate, I just saw a big sale and went great. Yeah, isn't that funny? Like, the idea that they'd dove them in? Yeah. If you got any more of this business. Come to us, please. Well, like, they're buying leather and the guys like, I'm into weird sex stuff. Yeah.

Guys like, I didn't need to know. I did not need to know that. Just take the leather and go. Honestly, it's real weird. Let me tell you about it. Let me tell you everything I'm going to do. Tell you what I like. I've written his backstory.

Please, let me tell it. Come on. It's weird. It took me a while to think of all this. I've researched a lot. I've had to sleep with a lot of people clad in leather to work out what I need to say. Don't kink shame my made-up kink. Yes.

My imaginary friend, which is me, is feeling very embarrassed right now. The two men kept their mission secret for months, not speaking about it to anyone except each other and their families. Except when a family friend visited Gunter from West Germany. Gunter again, right. So I think the deal is that West Germans could come into East Germany, but East Germany couldn't leave. That's so sad.

I think how that woman got done. Yeah. So that's how that woman would have been trapped in Berlin. That's so fucked. Yeah, it's no good. This is Scunter writing again on his website, which I will link. It's an imaginary line that just happened to be we picked this side. What if he went and asked for her passport?

And then when he and his wife come back through, he just gives her her passport back. Why did he have to leave her in there? Yeah. Because then he's got to have two wives and that's messy. It's easier to just leave her. in a communist dictatorship. No, she could have stayed in West... She could have just stayed at home.

He could have just won her trust and explained what he needed, borrowed her passport for a week, gone and got his wife, come back, giving her back her passport. That does make sense, right? I mean, who would trust that someone would give you your passport back? Yeah, but he could have stolen it. Oh, yeah, steal it! If she was basically, she was ready to trust him for, like, in a relationship like that...

To steal her passport. Probably could have found a way to steal it. Yeah. And then bring it back and be like, oh my God, this is so embarrassing. I thought I was speaking out my passport. And I picked up yours out of that locked box in your cupboard. Yeah, and then once she's through, she'd be able to get a new passport in West Germany, right? This sounds like a maths problem.

You got a hen? Yeah, the pig. You got a pig and a fox. You can't leave them all alone. And a bag of grain. Yeah. There's no pig. I've added the pig.

I'm going to say, what is the pig here? Pigs there for company. Pigs just like to hang out, okay? The pigs ones are making the decision. decisions. You are a pig. You're the pig, Dave. Oh, I know I've been the pig all along.

Pig boy. This is Gunter again writing about why he would tell his friend visiting from West Germany. We were relatively certain that the Starcy, which is the secret of police, would not bust us, but it was not something we could completely rule out either. Anyone who lived in East Germany can understand what would then happen. We would have been locked up and no one from our circle of friends or family would have any idea what had become of us. It basically disappeared. So they told their family friend, gave him two photos of the balloon being made in Gunter's lounge room, with the plan that if they were to suddenly disappear,

the authorities in West Germany could be informed, and maybe they could do a bit of diplomacy on their behalf to try and get him free. That's pretty unlikely to be honest, but there's at least some evidence that that's why they've been locked up. So he continued on. He finished the balloon, and all in all, this is the measurements, it measured 15 metres, 49 feet, wide, and 20 metres or 66 feet tall. So it was huge, 20 metre tall balloon.

Does it need to be that big? Yeah, it does have to, because they want to have, it's going to be 700, 750 kilos plus the house. Plus he's a bricklayer, he's going to bring his tools. He's life-and-supply. I've got 20,000 bricks back there. One of his kids is a real big reader, so all the books are coming. Do you reckon you could get a balloon that big at Lombards, the paper people? Do you think you could?

At Lombards, the paper people? What, a paper balloon? Do they sell balloons? Yes, that's where I got our 100 balloons. Jess is Lombards, to ask you to sponsor this episode secretly? Who? Lombards the paper people.

You mentioned Lombards the paper people. Lombards. And they're balloon specialists. They're party specialists. All of your party needs. The paper people are party specialists. Well, they have paper too. She knows a little too much.

She's like she's reading copy. Yeah. Are you getting a little kickback on the side? No. I was just wondering if you could get amongst their massive range of balloons. If they had a balloon. A low low prices. My goodness.

You wouldn't believe it. Name a theme for a party. Name a possible theme you could have for a party. Gingervitis. They've got it. Gingervitis party. They've got you covered. Jeez.

That is well. They've won me over. They've got you there. Balloons, party hats, bunting, cups, paper plates, costumes. They've got it all. At Lombards, the paper people. Why aren't they called the party people? Maybe they are.

Maybe I'm misremembering. Oh, Jess, look at the ad copy. They emailed it to all of us. This has been a seamless ad. You'll read out the highlighted sections. Lombards, hang on. No, no. And now a word from us, sponsors.

The paper people, thank you very much. They're a party goods supplier. Lombard. They're fucked up their marketing. The paper people. Why are you calling yourselves paper people of your party people? That just makes me assume they've just got lots of paper. Why are you putting them in one box?

Well, they have done it. They put them in a paper box. Maybe they've got paper bunting. Paper plates. Paper party goods. At Lombards. The paper people. Dave, do you go on.

The cloth, they've got the balloon bit, but the cloth, is of course only part of it. For a hot air balloon, you need something to heat up air. And for this, they attached a stove pipe to a gas cylinder and just lit it. So they let out a lot of gas going through a pipe. Controlling the output from the gas can to control the size of the flames. Sure. More gas, more flame.

Less gas, less flame. Gourdes describes it. What came forth from this burner was not just a flame, but pure hellfire. And our 11 kilos of gas was used up in no time at all. Oh, my 11 kilos of gas. So they decided they'd need two 11 kilo cylinders of liquid. That's 22. And no time at all times two.

Yeah, that doesn't sound like that much longer. Okay. Are we just going to brush past my quick math there? That was very quick. That was. That was. 1-1 is 1. 2-2s is 2.

3.3 is 3. I do math as well. So you're going to praise me now? Yeah, Matt. Great job. Thank you. A funny fact about a guy called Fibonacci Finally, they needed the gondola

Which is the usually wicker basket bit That the people travelling in a hot air balloon stand in They didn't have a basket on hand So they had to make their own alternative They welded a steel base And attached supports to the corners So there was one in each There's four corners sticking out from the steel base

And then made guard rails That would keep them from falling out By just threading washing line around it So it looks like a mini homemade boxing ring. Cool. Steel seems heavy though rather than wicker. It is heavy, yeah. Well, they've got small kids just to entertain them on the trip.

They could just make them fight. Oh, that's true. Ding, ding. And also instead of dropping sandbags, they can just drop kids. Yes. The loser of the flight gets dropped. Dropped. Yeah.

Over a body of water, hopefully, but no promises. Yeah, no. Can't we just drop some of the bricks? No. No. Jimothy, you're out. I worked hard for those bricks. I did not work hard for you. You were an accident.

You came too easy, mate. Very quickly too. And I love you, but you got to go. You got to go, mate. You're all the bricks and you know I love me bricks. There's 10,000 and one of you. I mean, do the maths, man. Even Jess Perkins could get this right.

I don't know if I could. A little backhand compliment there. So they did all, everything I've just said. They did that in six weeks. Wow. Pretty good. And on April 28th, 19. They were ready for the first test flight.

They had scoped out a deserted forest nearby, which was just 10K from the border. And at midnight, under the cover of darkness, it was time to see if their calculations and hard work would pay off. 1978. I'm picturing this in the olden days. Yeah. Cold Chissel released their first album in 1978.

You know what I mean? Yeah. It's wild. And you're imagining William Shakespeare. I'm picturing black and white. This colour TV, 1978. How old were you in 78? Oh, many, many centuries.

So they went out to the clearing to... I'm reaching my first trimester. Is that a thing in time? Three centuries. Oh, I see. Yeah, sure, okay. So you aim for nine? Yeah, nine centuries.

Great. Yeah, I'm a cat. I've got nine century lives. You've mixed up many things together. I love it. So they went to the clearing. The two men's wives came along, and the ladies held the opening.

of the balloon out so that their husbands could warm the air at the balloon's opening using the flame. So you've got your two wives there holding it open with a giant hellfire flame very close to their hands. Hellfire. I was imagining their wives in like old and day dresses. Yeah. It's the late 70s. Yeah. This is beyond the summer of love. Yeah. They're just wearing flares. Maybe. Jeans. Actually, to be honest, in the East Germany, I didn't know what they were. wearing. High fashion, obviously.

Yeah. At this point it was just lying on the ground, and I hope that the hot air would enter the bottom of the balloon and then just slowly inflate and then stand up. Yeah. They tried several times, but it just wouldn't inflate. Just lay flat on the ground. Got a leak.

Well, the first thought was that maybe they needed to dangle the balloon from a structure. Oh, dangling always helps. Yeah. So it was already standing upright, and then it just sort of fills up with air. They tried a nearby bridge, but discovered they had to cross a stream to get to it, and being quite cold, they abandoned the attempt and went home. Jeez, this is sounding pretty public now, working off a bridge and this sort of stuff. Well, that's supposed to be in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night.

But yeah, you never know who's watching. In the meantime, they discovered that air was escaping the balloon, as the material wasn't as airtight as they hoped. They tried to make it more airtight by using a chemical, but didn't have enough to cover the whole balloon. So they just covered as much as they could, sort of the top section. One last time, using the method of dangling the balloon and filling it up, they decided to give it a try.

So is this D-Day? If it goes up, they're going. No, this is just a test. And if it works, next time we'll bring the kids along, we'll go for it. Right, yep. They went to a local quarry this time. Again, in the dead of the night, and they spread out the balloon on the quarry steep incline.

So it's like sort of like a cliff type thing, and it's on quite a steep angle. They're like, maybe it'll stand up. It was a moonlit night, optimal for testing. But as Peter was laying out of the balloon, he saw a shadow of what he had to assume was someone watching them, fearing that they'd been rumbled,

they stuffed the balloon into their trailer and sped out of the quarry. I thought you're going to say under their trousers. 8,500 cubic maybe. Nah, nothing I worry about here, sir. This is the biggest bulge ever. I've just got a bono. I've got a big bono. We were just having sex in this quarry.

We're having a magical hug. You've rumbled us. Wanted joint? What do you just like to want? So they fear they'd been rumbled. They stuffed it in the trailer and their pants, And they sped out of the quarry. They drove like crazy, but no one appeared to be following them.

So they pulled over after a few miles to check. It was a log. It was a log, wasn't it? Well, they got out the back to check on the balloon, only to discover that a five-meter section had been dangling from the back of the trailer whilst they were speeding. And it had been torn to shreds. Oh, no.

It stuffed it so quickly. They just sped off and it just got ruined by the road. Yeah, when you're going into the... Is this the gulags? Is this what the gulags are? The jails? Well, yeah, you go to a sort of prison. I mean, when that's the other option, you would be stuffing quickly, wouldn't it?

You'd be stuffing it all times. They decided to cut their losses and start again with another balloon, this time made of an airtight material. They're starting again. But it's not an airtight material. Sure. That sounds like a good plan. That seems like a good idea from the get-go. But they've already built one balloon using so much material, which I can't imagine was cheap.

And now they're starting again. Yeah, they have invested a lot of money. To avoid suspicion, Peter chopped up the balloon into small pieces and burnt it in his boiler over several months. Burning weather, that would have stopped. But this time they're going to use denim, and I think that's clever. It'll just look better. You couldn't put it out with the rubbish, 800.

Yeah, it'd be a bit suss. Put in your neighbour's bin. There's a huge plume of black smoke coming above their place. What's going on there? Oh, just a little Barbie. For four months straight. Don't worry about it. Denim would be better as well.

You get different colours and just sort of have that like patchwork. work look. Stonewash. So cool. Cut-offs. Yeah. I got a cut-off blimp. If the balloon had worked, the men had planned to travel into Czechoslovakia and launch

from there, Czechoslovakia, as I said before, also being part of the Soviet Union at the time. To get there, they would need to hire a second vehicle to transport the equipment, because one would have all their kids and their wives in it. The other one would have all the equipment. Guinter writes on his website that it was not just possible to book a higher car on the day like it is now. back in the Soviet Union. You had to apply weeks in advance and you couldn't just cancel it on the day either.

So he wrote, quote, as a result of this in our balloon, which now ceased to exist, I had the pleasure for a week of driving around the neighbourhood completely aimlessly in a relatively new Moxswitch 412. Because they'd already booked in.

He'd already paid for it, so he just had a higher car for a week. Just driving around. Fred, how are you? Check out the Mok Switch here. And then the next week he doesn't have it. Fred yells out. it in H.

Simpson's there? Should go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene. Oh man, that is one of my favorite all-time Simpson's jokes. Well, I look forward to someone getting that. Jacob Lane, our Simpsons expert, will get it. I heard put it in each. Put it in H. That's what confused me.

Do you know that line? Now I think it rings about it. Homer goes to buy, to buy a car from Eastern Europe and he says to him, What countries is from? It no longer exists. And he can't get it going. And the guy yells out, put it in H. Fuck, that is funny.

Anyway, look it up. Google, put it in H if you haven't seen that at home. It's funny because it's a different letter to what you would normally put in. Yeah, we've put it in D. Yes. Put it in the D. Put it in H. It's so funny.

D for Drive. Yeah. What's the H for, Dave? So it was back to the drawing board And a number of materials were tested for balloon number two They discovered that taffeta Which is a synthetic fabric with a crisp texture Was available in large quantities at a store

160 kilometres away Which the hope was far enough away to avoid attracting suspicion It was also good for it was also airtight They told the salesman that they needed the enormous quantity of materials quantity of material because they were part of a sailing club and needed to make sales. Again, the guy's like, I don't care. That's fine. You're making a

big purchase, I don't give a shit. We all do jobs here that we hate. I got given, this is pulled out of a hat and now I'm a sales manager. I'm a doctor back home. Yeah. So I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. Do whatever you want. I hope you're getting out. See ya. Whatever. This lie again seemed to satisfy

the seller and they drove home with 800 metres or 2,600 feet of fabric. A shitload. They souped up their sewing machine with a larger engine And this time Gunther Gunter was able to sew the second balloon in less than two weeks They then needed to test it again which they did And this time it inflated

Yay Gunter writes Words can hardly describe what we felt in this moment We were simply overwhelmed by the spectacle before us We walked around the balloon And were certain that this glowing ball of fire Would bring us to the west Oh boy

But the celebrations were short-lived as they couldn't get the necessary heat to be able to take off and carry the required weight. They found that the burner would diminish over time so it just wouldn't stay inflated. Over the following months, they experimented with more propane than with petrol, but sadly it wouldn't work. They decided to try adding oxygen to the mix.

Now when you add oxygen to a fire, it usually goes out of control. Again, quoted from Gunter, one can imagine how this combination of fuel and oxygen would have behaved and what a terrible thing could occur. Fortunately, nothing dramatic happened and the flame reached a height equivalent to a three-story house. Nothing dramatic happened. We got a flame three-stories high. Oh my God. Still not as high as their balloon though, right? No, it still wasn't enough to sustain a flight with eight people. So the men began to grow disillusioned with the idea and worry about the

risks they'd be exposing their children to should the idea go wrong and they crash land, let alone be arrested once they crash land. Gunter started to think that maybe building a glider would be a better way to escape. So they shelved the idea. Oh my God. They destroyed all the evidence that would link them to the plot and went back to their normal working lives and tried to go back to normal society. Or so Gunter thought. Oh no.

He'd since stopped working with Peter at the plastics factory and the two had had a few disagreements over safety, according to Gunter. So it had a slight falling out. And they weren't seeing each other every day anymore. Months went by and it was now summer and one day, Gunter, heard about a homemade hot air balloon that had been discovered, abandoned near the border area. He was sure it must have been Peter making an escape attempt without him. And he was right. You absolute prick.

Peter. Peter, your dog. Peter, you prick! You dog. Peter. A piece of work. Peter, you fucking dog. You low dog.

You dog. You dog. You fucking dog. Peter. You dog. You fucking dog. Bet you don't even believe in women's rights. You dog.

Where were you on International Women's Day? He was 178. He's trying to bloody... You're a sick dog, Peter. Make an escape. Get him to the vet, Peter, you dog. You're a sick dog. Put him down.

Get this Peter boy down. You sick boy. Peter, are you listening? Pete's still around. No, Gwinter's still around, I'm afraid. Okay. You got put down, Peter, you sick dog. So what had happened was Peter had continued.

to work on the idea without Gunter. In June 1979, he had discovered that with the propane tank inverted, additional pressure caused the liquid propane to gasify, which would create a bigger flame, which was 12 metres or nearly 40 feet long. He theorised this was big enough to carry his family and he could sustain the flame. Yeah, okay.

That was the difference. But he hadn't told Gunter. So on July 3rd, Peter and his family made a genuine attempt. They took off from a forest clearing at 1.30, the morning and quickly began to climb, reaching an altitude of 6,600 feet or 2,000 meters, according to an ultimeter that Peter had made by modifying a barometer. The wind was blowing in the right direction,

and they were quickly headed for their Western German destination, but then they hit dense cloud. Atmospheric water vapor condensed on the balloon, and the added weight of the water caused the balloon to descend. Oh, no. They were forced to land, which thankfully, they did so safely, but in the dark, Peter had no idea where they were and if they'd actually made it over the border yet.

Peter explored until he found a piece of litter, which was a bread bag from a bakery that was part of an East German town that he knew and he knew that they hadn't quite got there. Damn it. They were in fact in the dangerous border zone, the no man's land that no one's allowed to be seen in. So they risked being... That was so close. And they risked being shot on site. He's there with his two kids.

The family spent nine hours moving quietly in the dark to get away from the 500 metre wide border zone to avoid detection. They also had to travel unnoticed through five kilometres of a restricted zone before hiking back. All in all, they walked a total of 14 kilometres or nearly nine miles back to their car where all the launch paraphernalia was just left there in the open

now was daylight. They made it home just in time to report that they were going to be absent due to sickness from work and school that day. So they were pretty close to being caught out. But they had to leave the balloon. I had to leave the balloon at the border, which was discovered by the Starcy,

who issued a wanted sign looking for information connected to the crime. As a precaution, Peter sold the car that he'd used to take off, that he'd driven to the takeoff area that day to sort of cover his tracks a bit. So a couple of weeks went by. Jeez. They were sort of waiting for a knock on the door. Yeah. Geez, this got tense.

I mean, selling the car after the fact, it doesn't help you a lot. If anything, it's kind of incriminating. Yeah, and then they, why did you sell that car? Or that's the car that we saw. Is this your car? Yeah, I just bought it off that guy. Yeah, okay. Thank you.

Yeah, that family was sick. The day of the balloon? Yeah, yeah, them. Yeah, they're cool. Nothing to see. Nothing more about it. Yeah. He's actually a bit of a dog, though.

Guess that's a dude. He was a sick dog. He was a sick dog. I think he wasn't at work because he was at a vet because he's a dog. He's a sick dog. Peter, you dog. A couple of weeks went by, Peter and his family were relieved to find that they apparently weren't connected to the escape, but they were worried that they could be at any moment.

I'm glad that nothing happened to them, obviously. I'm glad that they were okay and they survived everything. But I'm also kind of glad they didn't make it. Oh, really? Because fuck you, Peter. I wanted him to make it. No, but he just dogged his friend. He dug Gunter.

Did he, I mean, but if he got his family across and then sent a letter back saying, hey, here's the propane inverter thing. You know, maybe, maybe sometimes you're just going to do what you've got to do for your family. Yeah, I guess so. Well, Peter. I know, it's tricky. I don't know how I'd behave under a dictatorship. Yeah.

Well, Peter came to Gunter, his old friend, cap in hand and he explained everything, and asked Gunder if he would work with Peter to build a third balloon. Oh my God, Peter, give up. Peter sort of said so, it was. It was so close. I sort of said sorry. I went without you. Gunter realized that if Peter was to be discovered that surely he would too.

Yeah. So they decided to work together just to get the hell out of there as soon as they could. Because if one goes, the other one's probably going to disappear as well. So now they've got a target drawn on them. Gunter called in sick and took holiday leave to set aside five weeks to work on the balloon full time. You skipped five weeks holiday. No, I think it was more like he got a couple and he went to his doctor and faked an illness to get a note. to say why he couldn't go to work for three weeks.

Right. And then, so he was at home for five and he's like, I'm just going to make a balloon that whole time. He got the fart of his life when an ad appeared in the local paper. Did he say fart of his life? He got the fart of his life. The fart of his life. Well, that's what he told the doctor.

Doc, I've had the fart of my life. I woke up, the neighbour's two doors down. The doctor's like, all right, you better have three weeks off. I thought I had three pretzels a couple of weeks ago, nothing since then, and then all of a sudden. It's a fart of my wife. life. I've been fighting for three days straight.

It's one continuous stream. Can you hear slash smell it, Doc? Then they inverted Gunter and used him to propel the... That was the secret. They needed that all along. Pretel power. He got the fright of his life when an ad appeared in the local paper detailing the found balloon and other personal items found at the crash site.

The ad appealed for further information and this kicked the duo. ass into gear. They inverted his heart. Which it was already in gear. Honestly, at this point we need to get out of gear, it's an issue. He's going to kill someone. He can't retain any air. Put it in H.

Put it in H. They had to build their biggest balloon yet and needed more material than ever. But the authorities might be monitoring the shops more than ever. Now a balloon had been discovered a homemade balloon. Yeah, they're probably especially looking out for people buying large rolls of material similar to that of the balloon they found. Don't worry, I'm not making a balloon. I'm part of a sailing club.

Still, yeah, we just, we burn all those last boats, though, for fun. In the movie adaptation of this, it's the same shopkeeper, but at every different shop. Oh, really? They're in my mind, I imagine that they're going to buy material and this is. I'm like, what's his low-budget film? It's a guy at Spotlight, and then there's a guy, another side of town going, I don't care about your elaborate backstory. Okay, Bub, it's that guy from the simple.

It seems to be in every job around Springfield. So they only bought in small quantities and they got the four adults, the two men and the two wives, to all buy a little bit, little bit, little bit. During this time, the men lived in constant fear. At any moment, they feared a knock of the door, meaning they could be arrested and disappear forever.

Gunter writes of when he thought it was all over. One day the two men were out driving. As we approached the street crossing, a police officer suddenly appeared and stopped us. In this moment, we were absolutely convinced that our number was up. Luckily, that was not so. We had simply driven the wrong way

down a one-way street. But yet they were still incarcerated. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Ten years hard labour. And we got out and we kept making a balloon. To add to the urgency, Gunter had also been called into the military and was due to start in less than two months.

If they were going to go for it, they'd have to go soon because once he was in the military, he was not going to be able to escape anymore. The third balloon was finished on September 14. It had doubled in size compared to the previous balloon and was now 4,000 cubic metres in volume. It was 20 metres in diameter and 25 metres tall, 82 feet high.

That's so, that's massive. It's so big. That's gross insane. The men worry that they have to... Is that bigger than your stock standard hot air balloon? Actually, I don't really know. I don't think I've ever really been close to one. I've been in one.

Where'd you go? And I reckon there were... there was the guy flying it and then easily six people in it. I mean, we didn't bring a fridge though. Right. So maybe. Yeah, and I didn't have the stove down the bottom. We just went out for breakfast after.

Oh, yeah. It was a leisurely thing, not so much a fleeing the country thing. Yeah, sure. That's what I tell people anyway. So, yeah, but I mean, they're very big. But I'm imagining this to be even bigger. It just sounds huge to me. It is quite large.

Yeah. Especially for a two-man-made thing. Yeah, massive. Yeah, well, they were worried that they'd have to wait for the right weather, but just two days later on September 16th, amazingly, conditions were perfect. And so they know that they need the wind going, obviously, from east to west. That kind of thing. Like, it's better if there's a moonlit night so they can see a bit more because it's not pitch black.

It's good that you figured that out, because I would have been like, how do you know which way the wind? East to west makes perfect sense, actually, yeah. Because that's where they're trying to go. Yeah, but I mean, depending on the angle, I imagine that it's not directly drawn north to south, right? Now I've got no idea there. All of a sudden, the wind's blowing and they're just hovering along the border. Come on, please.

Fifteen more metres. They hadn't had a chance to test this new balloon, but decided to risk it, take advantage of the conditions and just make an attempt. Oh, God. You've never tested it. That's terrifying. And with the kids. And you're getting your kids. There's a two-year-old here. But don't reckon that part of it be like,

you test and it works perfectly. You go, oh, great. I mean, what a waste of that test. Now we've got to wait for perfect conditions. Yeah, if it works. I can see why they would. And they reckon that they're coming for them any day now, even though that sounds like maybe that's a bit of paranoia.

There's no real reason that they're onto them. No, but they just think the quicker you go, the better. Just just in case. Because imagine being like, we'll go tomorrow and then that morning you get the knock on the door. You'd be like, no. So they went to the clearing or A clearing. They fired it up.

It took just 10 minutes to heat the balloon enough to inflate it. And just after 2 a.m. Way past the kid's bedtime. Oh, the 2-year-old. I'm not going anywhere at 2 a.m. And it's also like, I think it's minus 8 degrees outside. Other than 9-9. I'll go to 9-9 a.m.

Thanks very much. Yeah. Yeah. A bloody beard of that time now. Matt, say it properly, please. I go to bloody bed. boys. Narnoise.

No-n-n-ice. Dave, when you go non-nice? About 2.01 a.m. Oh, you're a bad boy. So as soon as I'm in the air, I'm out. Yeah. I'm hoping for the best after that at that point. Wind, take to leave.

See you guys in about 6 to 8. None of them tired. Just up to 2 a.m. Gunter, Peter, their two wives and their four children, age 2 to 15, got into the gondola. Gwinter describes the takeoff We stood diagonally opposite each other In the basket And cut the ropes at our respective corners

Up until then everything had gone smoothly But then came our first problems I had been a little quicker in cutting my second rope And so the balloon was still hanging on by one rope on the other side Was now listing to one side This also resulted in the burner tilting And the flame being directed onto the material Which by now had caught fire

Oh, that's bad Furthermore, the last anchor in the ground was ripped out and catapulted towards hitting Frank, which is one of the other people on board, squarely on the head. Blood was now running down his face. Luckily, we had a fire extinguers with us, so Peter simply needed to reduce the flame whilst I put out the fire. Frank's injury turned out to be not so serious after all so we could press ahead with that further. And we blasted him with the fire extinguished. You're in, you're like, all right, family, we're doing this.

Within a minute, it's on fire and one of your kids is bleeding from the head. You're like, oh, this is not a good stuff. Fuck. He's one of the kids? You said he was one of the other guys on the thing? Yes, who's this other guy? I think it might be the teenager, the oldest boy. So they were off, but then Gwinter looked up and could see a hole at the top of the balloon that shouldn't be there.

Despite the hole, they just kept rising and rising. Gwinter realized that because of the hole, they'd have to keep the burn. The burn are blasting it full blast the whole time just to keep enough heat to keep them airborne. Because usually the heat would stay trapped inside. Yeah. But now it's just leaking through the hole in the move. So it's just full blast. Keep it going.

They again reached an altitude of 2,000 meters above the ground. No clouds. No clouds. It was completely dark and the border didn't have lights, something that they hadn't actually considered. So they don't know when they're over to the border. The balloon had been... Wow. Is that that's tactical from the border?

Well, I read that they also turned the power off. And they only turned the power back on in the morning amongst the society. probably to conserve energy and control people probably from doing things at night, I imagine. So there's no light. The balloon had been turned around several times and they actually lost all bearings and suddenly they were like,

we don't know where we're going. There's no power at night. There's no power. But surely on the other side of the border there's power. Yeah, they'll be power, yeah. So when they can start seeing lights, that's a good sign. That's one they... Your fridge is off every night.

Can't watch TV at night. This is in 1978. Your fridge is off. Welcome to the day. dictatorship. How are you keeping your goods? Cold sack, wet sack. Cold sack. Oh my God. He just made

Dave spit water back into his drink bottle. That was rank. I was like a drink no dessert. I go cold sack, wet sack. Cold sack, wet sack. Give it a wet sack. Cold sack, wet sack.

It just really got me and I wasn't even looking at you and I just had to spit back into the bottle. Oh, it's so funny. So they weren't sure which direction they were flying, but they flew on, completely silent in the gondola, except for the bird, are going, that's all. It's quite loud.

It was a tense mood, to say the least. They saw searchlights and were worried that they'd been rumbled, but luckily they were too high for the search. I've never heard rumbled before in this context. I love it. Don't you love that word rumble? I do, but I would never have used it in this context, and I'm loving it.

That's my sizzle, baby. I've put that in. No other websites using Rumbled. That's me. That's all D-Dub. Yeah. Cold Sack, Wetsack. Luckily, they were too high to be rumbled by the searchlights.

I couldn't light them up. That's good. So it's going well, kind of. I mean, at least you're flying. You're going somewhere. Yeah, you're alive. And if there's searchlights, you're heading in the right direction. Yeah, right?

That's probably on the border. Yeah, on the border to stop people from doing stuff like this. But suddenly, the burner went out. No. Oh, no. They tried to get it going again in the 8 degree below Celsius weather, but thinking it's too cold. That's the problem.

It's minus 8. Yeah. Fuck. So we'll just relight. We'll just relight. So it's below it for people in Fahrenheit. It's below freezing. It's very, very cold.

But they could only relight it for a short time before it would go out again. They soon realized that they were completely out of gas because they'd been pumping at full blast. 2,000 meters above the ground, they started to descend into unknown territory. Once it runs out, you just slowly. go down and they can't really control that. They've got no idea where they're going to land. At least it's slowly and not just like, oh, you're fucked.

Yeah, you just want that arc to be traveling over. Yeah. Homer Simpson on the, on the skateboard over the Springfield Gorge. Yeah. I'm going to make it. You're going to make it. It's a greatest thrill of my life. I'm not going to make it.

Thankfully, their landing was quite light. Okay. They used a car light to sort of guide their way So they had a car light on board I imagine hooked up to a battery I think that's what it was To sort of light the ground So they could see where they were going

The ground rapidly approached They crashed landed and were suddenly back on solid ground They were all, pardon I said they've got the light on high beam And Matt said yeah it's cold Unfortunately they were able to get out of the basket Without assistance So that they immediately realized

All right well none of us are seriously injured then if we're all able to walk out of this. Thankfully, no one was injured. Amazing. But they don't know if they've crossed or not. Yeah, they're physically safe, but they have no idea how far they're flown and in what direction. So they could have just flown further into East Germany.

Right. They were terrified that they were still in East Germany. Yeah. They found a street sign that they didn't recognize, and that was kind of a good sign, but also they might have just been in a town they didn't know. Yeah. The two men headed to a farm that they could see the light.

Oh, well, you know, they could see a farmhouse. Lyd's good. I just added that I actually don't know if the light was on They could just see a farm Whilst their wives and children Hidden the bushes

So they went ahead To scope it out The two men headed to a farm Barn They went to a barn So I'm trying to say A farm barn They got into a farm barn

Farm sack Wet Or was it a farm barn Or was it a pet barn For all your pet needs What kind of Name a pet Name a pet

Sick dog Peter A sick dog Dick Dog Peter. Well, we've got leads, dog beds, dog food. We've got anything for Peter's gingeritis. No. So they went to a pet barn, okay, a farm barn, okay, a barn. They saw a brand new piece of farming machinery,

something which was basically unheard of in East Germany, and they instantly knew that they'd made it to West Germany. That was a sign going, no one has anything that nice and new in East Germany. We're in West Germany. Oh my God. Oh, that must have been so cool. I was expecting that I were going to walk up to Disneyland or something.

That's Mickey Mouse. This is a good sign. They were safe and because West Germany recognized all German citizens as German citizens, they knew they could start their lives anew. Oh, what a relief. West Germany sounds way better. Yeah, so if you got out of East Germany, you made it to West Germany. They're like, oh, yeah, you're a citizen.

Cool. No worries. Here's your, you know. Social security number equivalent. Yeah, you weren't living in terror all the time. of being dragged back. Yeah, you could go to the police station or you go to the local office and declare and they wouldn't arrest you for being there.

They'd be like, oh, great, welcome. Welcome in. Cool. That's so weird and amazing. Yeah, I mean, it is one. So on one side they said there's one country and on the other side, very different. Yeah, they're like, no, come on in. As they left the bar on a police car approached,

Gunter writes, one of us asked them, are we in the West? This question was redundant because that was already obvious. The policeman answered, and astonishingly, Of course you are. Where else would you be then? No one could scarcely imagine that East Germans would just appear out of nowhere in the middle of the night, 10K away from the border. They made it 10k away across. They made it 10 kilometres into the safe west.

The two men then let off a firework. At that butt. They're one butt. They have one butt between them. They let off a firework. What firework? I'm imagining one of those weird little just crackers. A little firecracket.

It just goes like, bang. Spellie Whirl. That Spellie Whirl was to signal to their wives in the bushes that they were safe because they were still there not knowing. Yeah, we're not going to walk back. You can't do arms. That's 300 metres closer to East Germany. We're not going there.

Oy, Petra. Petra! Petra! I'm not coming unless you set off that firework. I only respond and speak in fireworks. Beow! Oh, she mad. Sorry.

Sorry, let Frank get hit in the head. You're right, Frankie? Frankie. So they'd made it. It became a big news story around the world. East Germany, the authorities there were pissed off and were worried about copycat crimes. They immediately increased border security, closed all small airports close to the border, and ordered the planes kept farther inland.

Propane gas tanks became registered products and large, quantities of fabric suitable for balloon construction could no longer be purchased. They really screwed everyone else over. They were like, well, we thought it first. Yeah. Well, only 11 years until the wall comes down, I guess. Don't, like, don't respond to interview requests, you know? Yeah, yeah.

Don't talk about it. Keep it down. Keep it down. Keep other people a chance. Did you say they have to keep, what was the line about the planes? Having to keep farther? Keep them further away. Keep them further inland.

Yeah. What is that? Well, they shoot them down otherwise. In case someone steals a plane? Well, I mean, because it's easy. I suppose they're like, well, it's easy to fly 10 minutes than it is to fly an hour. Right. So I'll just put them further east.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's weird. They are sounding paranoid now. It's so strange. I don't understand it at all. This kind of keep them in. You're out. It's like, what did they do?

You're treating them like prisoners. Yeah. What do they do? It's all about control. Yeah, it's not very, it doesn't sound very nice. You probably shouldn't be viewing your people as the enemy. Yeah, honestly, Mr Gorbachev. Tear down that wall.

Tear down this shiny object that's glaring into my eyes. I can't read my speech. Oh my God, that mirror ball, what are you doing? Also, I'm a donut. They might be a different thing. The families later learned that they'd been so, they'd been high enough to be detected but not identified on radar by West German air traffic controllers. They had also been detected on the East German side by a night watchman.

That's who had tried to shine the light on them, but they were too high. So they had been spotted. Wow. Well, you'd see the flame. Yeah, the report of an unidentified flying object heading towards the border caused guards to activate the search lights, but the balloon was too high, just out of reach. So, yeah. So that was a smart way to go up high.

Peter and Gunter The two masterminds were highly sought after in the media Gunter says that due to a hamstring injury from the crash landing He was unable to participate in as many Running races Yeah I never won the 100 yard dash again He was unable to talk to the media as much as Peter

What do you mean? Because of a hamstring injury Yeah Well this is on his website Remember balloonflux dot dee And this is when the two men began to fall out with one another It becomes a bit of a soap opera from here Gunter writes

This time Peter has unfortunately used to represent the entire history So the idea of the escape was his And also the design and construction of all components And would have been his thing only Only the sewing of the balloon He left after his statements to me Right So he's good to say that Peter

It's taken all the crete Except for sewing So who had the hamstring and wasn't able to talk to the Gunter the younger one Right And he would He's the one still has the website where he's like, I think it's called The Falling Out is written on the website.

There's a page about this. That's sad. He said that our family retired from the media in January 1980 to get back to a normal life. The other family, on the other hand, Peter's family were regularly president in the media and further some made public appearances where there was not anything of obvious importance to say. The versions of the story from Peter even goes far to say that he planned the entire escape, built everything and essentially took us along only as an act of pity.

Yeah, right. Peter, you dog. Yeah, he's a dog. It was a dog all along. But it's if you believe everything he writes. Because he also says the final straw in their relationship was twice. He found out that Peter had declined invitations on Gunter's family's behalf without asking them and chose to go to the event himself. That's weird.

It's so weird. Yeah. He even writes, Gunter writes on his website, I still don't know why he did this. Oh, that sucks. Peter Streslick. Oh, sorry, Strelzik. It's such a strange name to see it written down. Peter Strelzik died in 2017 at the age of 74

Having never made up with Gunter Who was still alive at the time of recording And blogging on his website So how old's Gunter? He was, how many years? Sorry. No, that's okay. He wasn't in his 20s?

Yeah, so he was... So he was still pretty young. He was 13 years younger. So he's in his mid-60s now. What? Yeah, that's wild. It's my dad's age. Yeah.

Yeah. And my dad's age. And your dad's age. Gunter? Wanderke. Is it you? My goodness. Wow.

The Escape has been portrayed in two films, Night Crossing, which is a 1982 Disney film starring John Hurd as Peter and Bo Bridges as Gunter. I'd never heard of it. There you go. In 82. It's also been more recently portrayed in a German film called Balloon that came out in 2018. Balloon. Luft balloon, surely.

Yeah. What does Luft mean? What does balloon mean? Is that red? Because it's 99 red balloons. Yeah, yeah, I guess that makes sense. 99. Nuff balloons.

So, I don't know, that's the story. It's an amazing, it's an amazing tale. It's sad that they did this amazing thing together that honestly is unthinkable and then fell out. I mean, they did it. They got freedom. Yeah. They really should have just. I would have thought it would be a celebration from there.

It's so sad that humans can do that. I can imagine us having a big falling out though at the end of the pod, you know? Yeah, I prefer it at the end rather than the middle. Yeah, good point. Yeah. But I mean, is this as impressive as escaping? Well, how long did that take them? That was about an 18-month process.

Yeah, right. We've been doing this for four years. Fuck off, nerds. This is like, stick at it. We're like building a hot air balloon and escaping a country. Yeah. Yeah. It is.

It takes me like half an hour to drive here once a week. That's hard. Really tickled yourself hot pink over there. I didn't tickle myself. So there are movies and in it the haberdasches that were all played by the same actor. Is that right, Dave's head? No, that was me directing my own movie. And they're all played by that Simpsons guy.

It goes, batabing, badabang, sugar in the gash tank. So what character of, am I playing in your version of this film? Would you like to be the shopkeep? You're in several scenes, several different outfits. That's a comedic role. That's potentially, yeah. Why are you telling me this?

Because Gunter's going there again going, what? You're the same guy, what? You're the every man. Huh. So I don't even get to be Gunter. No, Matt's Gunter. Matt's a million years old. Sorry, I'm Gunter and Matt's Peter.

Matt is Father Time. I'm the dog. Yeah. Oh, great. I'm the one who gets all the ho- Oh yeah cool I get all the Hollywood stuff at the end And I don't even get to be anyone's wife In this

I don't get to be Petra I'm a fucking shopkeep You could have hidden the bushes Waited for our fireworks signals I do prefer to be communicated with in fireworks I do prefer That is a wild and amazing story I'm loving these stories

We've had a few of them lately That I've just never heard of And they feel like they should be so I mean, it's been made into two movies. It's pretty famous. I think it's the same as last week. Only one person has suggested it. Is that amazing?

Elliot B from Salt Lake City. Thank you so much for suggesting such. Elliot Bay from Salt Lake City. Yeah. Yay, Bay. Jay Bay. Hey, Bay. Yay, Bay.

Yay, Bay. Yeah, Bay. Getting involved. Yeah. Amazing. Well, Matt, does that bring us to everybody's favorite part of the show? Do you want to introduce it? Absolutely I do.

This part of the show is called fact quote or question. Ding! You're always coming too early on the fucking ding. I don't think I do. Give me a beat. I'm perfectly in time. I'm not even finished saying question. Would you like it to be off time?

Because I can do that, but it will sound bad. Yeah. Try it. Try it now. Try it now. Try now. Here we go again. Fact quote or question.

Bing. That's very early. Way to half beat, I reckon. Yeah, do it on the offbeat. Fact quote or question. Question. Bing. Perfect.

And on this segment, you can support us at Patreon at patreon.com slash do you go on pod. And one of the levels, the Sydney-Sharmberg deluxe rest in peace, VIP Deluxe Burger section. Ooh, I'll have a meal, please. Yeah, medium.

Yeah, medium's good. Regular, some languages. And one of the things you get to do on there is you get to give us a factor quota of question as well as doing extra votes and all sorts of things. things like that. And this, so I think the people on this level will be voting on your next three reports, Dave.

That is correct, I believe so. And as well as that, you also get to give us a fact, a quote, or a question. This week, the fact quote or question is coming from Phil Verhe. Verhe. Verhe. Verhe. I like that one. I really like to the first one.

You also get to give yourself a title. and Phil, which is a fantastic name, Fantastic Phil, has given himself the title of Suffer of Misophonia, a lover of all microphone windmuffs. We got a few in the studio for you, Philly. And Phil,

Fathers, Phil Verhey, has given us a quote, which I reckon maybe is the, I reckon that's the one that we get the least of? Yeah, I'd say so. At first we didn't get many, I think we're getting more of a balance these days. And the quote is this, and I don't read these until I read them. And here we go.

The mind is its own place. And in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. That's from John Milton, who was from the board game, Milton Bradley. Oh, should I Google it? Have you heard of John Milton? He's an old English author. John Milton was an English poet and intellectual who served as a civil servant for the Commonwealth of England under its Council of State

and later under Oliver Cromwell. Is he a Westminster Abbey Poets Corner guy? Resting Place, St. Gillies without Cripplegate. So, no, I don't think so. That's a strange place. I love the name of that. St. Gillies, dash, without, dash, cripple gate.

Cool. There you go. That's a cool quote. I think that's true. I think it's a good, that's a good quote. Cheers, Phil. I mean, it's true. It could be true.

You haven't had time to think about it. No. You're just, you want it a bit. The mind is its own place. I believe that. Yes. I spend a bit of time in mine. I like it often.

I often like it up there. Sometimes it could go a little vacay. Do you have like an internal monologue though? Yes. We talked about this a bit on book cheat this week as well. Have you got one, Dave? Oh, absolutely. I can't shut it off.

Yeah, great. Me too. I'm talking, talking, talking like I'm talking now, but I talk to myself. Do you want I notice? as well. I sometimes refer, in my head, I refer to myself as we. Ah. This is what we're talking about with Cass on bookcheats. She was sort of saying, she had conversations with herself. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not sure if I do that.

I'm like, we've got to get that done. Oh, yeah, maybe I do do that actually. Oh, right. I think I'm an eye. I'm an eye. I would say we a lot. Yeah, what does that mean about us? I don't know. I think how does that make us better than Dave? It means that we're... We're team players. Yeah, Dave's selfish. Goal-oriented.

Dave's all like me, me, me, me, me, we're like, we, I, I, I, I, I. And we're we, we, we, we're we, we, we, all the way, home. Looked out of John Millsman has a monument in Poet's Corner. Oh, cool. And what's, can you look up what's, what's with, without Cripplegate? Anyway. I'm not sure. The second fact, quarter of question this week comes from Zach Llewellyn.

Zach with an E at the end, does that change it? Is that Zachie? Or is it just still Zach? What? Z-A-C-H-E. Ha! Zash. Zash.

Zash-A. Zash-E-L-E-L-E-L-L-L-L-N. Who's given himself the title of Junior Associate to the Vice President of Booking Matt exclusively above Thirsty Mirk gigs. Oh, you must have been at one of my Tasmanian shows where I clashed with Thirsty Merck. In the same pub. The same pub? Yeah. And you didn't cancel and go to Thirsty Merck.

Oh, you've made it. Give me 20 good reasons. Is that them? Yeah, could you hear them? Could you hear them? They came on pretty much as my show was finishing. I went down to see as I'd posted a photo on social media from on the streets. I know that was a fun festival.

Me with the window behind me was Ray Thistlethwaite's ass basically. You know, the window on the street went straight on. of the stage. That's weird. Do they get much of a crowd down there? They were well and truly sold out. Fantastic. And you were also sold out how much.

Well and truly. Well and truly. And I saw your ass from the street. Looking good. They're very, very popular down there. And probably elsewhere. Yeah. But I mean, they have a lot of hits.

What more do you want? In the summertime. Maybe in the summertime. And if you're there. We were doing different bits. Sorry. Or I don't know that song that well, which I thought I did. When we diverged there, I've had full doubt.

Yeah. It's okay. We don't have to always be in sick. It's incredible. Such a great name. I did not know that. Yeah. It's amazing.

Is he in Poet's Corner? Yes. I've looked up St. Giles without Cripple Gate. It's an Anglican church in the city of London. That's where he's buried. There you go. It's an amazing. Without Cripplegate, I've never heard of that.

I love it. I love it. In England they name places like a pond when it's the river's the second part. So I don't know what the without means. Means there's no Cripplegate there. There used to be a river. Or there's one with Cripplegate and without. Do you want it with or without?

It's like a smoking or non-smoking section. Anyhow, Zashe Llewellyn has given us a question. Yes. I think we haven't might not have had a question at a while. And his question is... I love to make it about we. What are your phone backgrounds right now? Ooh.

Okay. Okay. I have no idea. Oh, look at mine. It's just black. That is so bleak. It is honestly just black. I don't remember.

I would never have... Would it have come like that? What about like... So you've got lock screen and home screen. Yeah, you've got nothing on either. That is so bleak. My desktop at the studios has got plugger. Yeah, exactly.

At least put plugger on there. I should put plugger on there. Matt's is boring and completely black. Dave, what are you got? I got my girlfriend with our puppy puppy. Yep. Your puppy, which is named... Humphrey.

Humphrey B. But have you got a different one for your lock screen? My lock screen is my poor old family dog Pete, who's no longer with us. Yeah, Pete's good. I can't bring myself to change it. No, fair enough. It's been gone for three years now. I still,

it's still nice to look at him. Yeah, why would, like, does it make him any less relevant to the back of your phone? No, no,

but I just, sometimes I think, oh, should I change it? And I think, that's kind of nice. It's not let him go. It's living on forever.

That's nice. On a phone. I haven't changed my Facebook profile picture in like four years. Should I change it or just keep it forever now? No, change it to one of me. I'm for,

yeah, okay, great. This is you, this is you forever. I look like a boy. Who's that young man? Who's that young boy? And Jess, your background, what are you rocking?

I've got one of the basic iPhone ones is just a blue and... Really? I quite like it. Do you guys have personal lives? No, no, I've got it on the locks. I don't like anything being behind. Black, actually, and your one does look nice with the apps in front of both of yours. I like the apps to be able to stand out.

I went for black, I reckon, so they'd just pop out. And I also, I feel weird putting a photo of loved ones, behind it because I'm like, you're just hidden. You're hidden behind all the apps. I want them to be able to be seen. My lock screen is my boyfriend and I wearing turkey hats at Christmas. Oh, that's a great photo.

Yeah, a couple of turkeys. We're just wearing turkey hats and posing like dickheads. That's a good question. Great question. Kind of question I would have never thought to have asked. Thank you so much, Zashe or Zach. Thank you. I also got, someone came to that show and gave me

a six-pack of Tasmanian beers to sample, which is still sitting in my kitchen because I'm doing FebFast. So they're going to be the first beers I have when I get out at the other side. When I get out. Where I escape this jail. No, I didn't mean it like that.

But I can finally drink my beautiful beers. When it's early March. That was Hannah. Thanks, Hannah. I'm so bad with names. I go, I got her just tell her name a few times. so I'd remember. Geez, I hope I haven't fucked it up.

Her name's Louise. I can not even sure if you listen to this anyway. But also, the other thing we like to do, Bob, is your little section where we thank a few petrons. Yes, and I've already thought of something. We are going to assign each of them a mode of transport. Ooh. I love it.

Okay. Okay, okay. And are they just normal modes of transport or like this, are they part plane, part submarine? Look, then, well, they can be anything. And they don't have to be fleeing a country either. Oh, that's nice. But maybe they are, but probably not, hey.

That's a nice touch. Before we do that, I've got to quickly thank Annabel Clark Leppard, because we fucked that up last week. Anyway, thank you, Annabel Clark Leopard. Everything we said about you stance, only your first name, which is Annabelle. Yes, because we thanked your sister instead. Yes. And Annabel, anyway, I'm so sorry about that mix up.

Did we give her a mode of transport? Yes. One of those motorbikes with a sidecar. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That seems terrifying. You'd be so low to the ground. I want to be in there.

All right. I'll be on the bike. There must have been featured in David Soucher's Poirot. That feels like that kind of era of transport. Would it have been? Is that? I think it might. It's definitely motorbikes.

It feels like the sidekick. what's his name? Might have ridden one with sushi and the sidecar. Hastings. And Poirot going, ooh, they're hating it? Yeah. I say, I say, Poirot. Good Lord.

I say. Sidecar, I always think of the cooking show, two fat ladies. Oh. They travelled in one, surely. Was that too? Or are you thinking of the hairy bikers' guide to cookery? I know. You think you have a cooking show regardless.

Yeah. Oh, no, there they are. Let me show you a photo of these. Lovely. It was their logo. Yeah, that's right. Two fat ladies. I've forgotten about them.

They were a big deal. They were huge. Deal, huge deal. I'm so, I did not mean that. Sorry, I honestly did I mean that. David Warnocky. They embraced. They embraced that as their image,

but I did not mean it like that. One was much older than the other, which always surprised me. One bought in 1947, the other one, 1928. So there's 20 years between them. You can be friends with people of different ages. But I just always...

That big of a gap. As a child, when they were big. I mean bigger than that, sure, but that big specifically. But when you're a kid, old people just look like old people. Definitely. I was like, oh yeah. I assume that was about the same age as well. Sadly, they're both not long with us.

Oh. My cousin, when he was a child, asked me how old I was and I was 15. And he went, oh, my God. Like, that was so old. That's how dumb it is, isn't it? It's dumb when people talk like that about age. Anyway, I'd love to thank, firstly, from Salford, England. Salford.

We're Salford. Next to Manchester. Oh, that's where we went to the Salford Boys Club. Lads Club. That's that's right. You've got a T-shirt that says the Salford Ladd's Club on. I do. Or maybe two.

I bought two. I just have the one. That was a fun day. Yeah, Salford, right next to Manchester. And from Salford, I'd love to thank Jade Chadwick or Chaddick if she's English and that's how they normally drop the W down Oh yes Jade Chaddick from Southford England Southford

I reckon Jade travels on a like a souped up electric scooter Yeah yeah yeah like dangerously fast yeah yeah yeah jade slow down you're gonna hurt someone Nah she's sick on it though yeah she does tricks and shit man fucking sick good on your jade on your jade I love those things man you should to see me around Christchurch on those bad boys. Holy shit. Yeah, I'm up in Brisbane soon, I should say. Brisbane Comedy Festival coming up.

I'm up from the 10th of the 15th. Please come to the show. You can get tickets at Manschutoncom. You're going to be doing a bit of scooting? I am going to be scooting. They do lime scooters up there. It's only there in Adelaide, I think, that have them. Because Melbourne can't be trusted.

Now, Melbourne have just kicked off. They're doing the Uber ones. Oh, scooters. Uber scooters, yeah. No way. Yeah, that's... My Uber scooting babies. The core is something like...

I think it's the kind of thing that I'd almost be able to get rid of my car. If the zone was big enough, I reckon. Driving a gigs out of town is a bit harder on those scooters. But fuck, they're fun. Yeah, they're called jump. Jump. Scooters by Uber. While some Melbourne attempted something like that, they all ended up in the Yarrow.

Yeah, we suck. But I think scooters are more fun than bikes. Yeah, scooters are way more fun. Anyway. Jade, thank you so much. Thank you, Jade. I hope you enjoy scooting about. I'd also love to thank from Bellbird Park in Queensland.

Cassie Craddick. Cassie Craddick, C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C. And Cassie Craddick, her mode of transport is. I was really hoping something would come in that time. Oh, I've got one. Great, go. A billy cart. Oh, yes.

Not powered, you've just got to take it up a hill and hope for the best when you're going down. Just like a, and you've got to like a rope. Yeah, you're still with a rope. road, yeah. Wow, Billy Car. That's a lot of fun. I think that maybe, do they call them like soapbox derbies or in North America? Yes.

Yeah. Isn't there a band called Box Car Racer? That was Tom DeLonge other band. With Travis on drums. Yeah, and the guy from Rancid maybe? Who was the other guy? Important stuff. Can I thank some people as well?

You sure, can. Thank you, Cassie. I was the first suit, Jade Chaddick, Cassie. Cratic. Crazy. I hope we have more rhyming names. That doesn't look like we're going to. It is hugely disappointing.

I'd love to thank just around the corner in Preston, Victoria, Lucy Harrison. Great name. Lucy. That's a fantastic name. Great name. I'll have another go on one of these. Let me think, what about an animatronic fish? Oh, great.

You get in it. It's got legs. Sorry. Okay, great. Love it. What are you laughing at? What? What's funny about that?

I forgot we were naming modes of transport for a second. Then I came back to me and I went, oh, of course, sorry, how stupid of me. An animatronic fish. Yeah, so it can swim like a submarine, but also it's got legs that come out and can walk on land. So handy for Melbourne, would you know? That's the least dumb submarine you've ever heard of this.

Yeah, definitely, because at least looks like a fish. Submarines are so dumb. But an animatronic fish, that's not done. That makes sense. If someone try to chuck you, Lucy in the Yarra in your animatronic fish you just walk your way back out of it. Yeah, and you go, oy. Wait, don't do that.

Don't do that. Don't, don't trumfoolery, thanks. Come on. Let's not fuck around around water. I'm just a gallon of fish. Okay? Okay. Just trying to get to work via the Yarra River.

And then you switch your scarf around your neck. And you're on? And you're on your way. And so thank you to Lucy. I would also like to thank from York in Yorkshire. That makes sense. Mike Ollis. Mike Oless

Mike Oless We were told that York's quite posh Posh But it's Vikings as well Yeah Oh okay I think Mike has a seaplane Oh

Oh I love a sea They look cool to me No you're not into it I've been in one Oh they can't hear it I nearly threw up Why were you in a seaplane Well

I'd gone on a jet ski tour In Queensland Somewhere That sounds fun so far Yeah that was fun And we stopped at this time little island and we're just having a little bit of a break and a seaplane pilot was just chatting to our tour instructor and had some spare time and said do you guys want to come up for a joyride

and we did and how many people get in the seaplane there's only four of us and we did and then he said now do you want to take the easy way up or the express elevator and i said easy way and everyone else said, express. What are they thinking? So we were like completely vertical going straight up. Like a rocket. And then you had to like, like as you lurch back, as he evens out again, you're like, it feels like the kind of thing that the whoever wants the lowest end wins.

You know what I mean? Like that's not a majority rules. I don't want to do this. Well, bad luck. You've been outvoted. As someone with a weak stomach, I don't like. Have you spewed on them. I really spewed.

I don't like that kind of bullying where it's sort of like, oh, you don't like this. Now we're going to force you to do it. I'm like, why? That's all very nice. Anyway, I felt quite sick the rest of the day. You wouldn't do that, Mike now that you drive. Not our good man, Mark Hollis. Mike is a beautiful.

Because it's also a Viking place. I picture out the side. They've got those oars. Of course. You know, those old school Viking ships. At the side of the sea plane. So you can do both. Yeah, perfect.

You can fly and then you pull the oars in. Yeah. But if you're on the sea, then you can oar it. or the boat around. Perfect. Either or, sort of thing. Nah. Thank you, Mike.

Right on. Well, from Mike Ollis to Ellis Wells. Oh, I'd like to thank Ellis Wells from London. Thank you, Ellis. Ellis Wells. Alice to Ellis, that's great. The only Alice I know is Hans, Boobie. What about Sophie Ellis Bexter?

What about Warren Ellis from the Bad Seeds? Oh, you dickhead. Oh, Hans, Boobby. The only one to know personally. Alice. I got on you, Alice Wells. Appreciate that. I'm pretty sure that's his name.

Double L's in both names. E double L in both names. E double L and an S in both names. Whoa. Ellis Wells. You had low. From London. And Alice, what's he using the travel, Matt?

Well, I think it's just because of his name sounds like swells. I'm thinking like a surfboard. Oh, okay. Yep. But it's a double-decker and it's got a double-decker surfboard, yes. Double-decker surfboard with catering. Is it up top, pleasure down below? Yeah, business up top, you've got catering lounge.

Downstairs is where, you know, the surfer is who's powering the vessel. Is he paddling or still standing there? No, he's just surfing. Right. So you got Mark Okolupo. Oki's down there. Okay. And he's powering the surfboard and Ellis Wells is up top, dining away, living like a bloody king.

You got a surfboard throne. Yeah. Good on your Ellis Wells. Taking it for us. It's been around London's beautiful beaches. Sucked in London. You're great. Good on you Alice Wells.

Appreciate your support. And finally, I'd like to thank from Cici, Arkansas. Searcy. Searcy. Sercy. Sorry to Molly. I love you. Pop and Fresh.

I love you. Molly Hardin from Cic, Arkansas. Thank you so much. for your support over the months and the years. Molly's a great name. Molly's a great name. Such a good name. This is another fantastic bunch of names.

And Molly gets around in one of those horse-drawn carriages that... A horse drew this carriage? Will it be structurally sound? It's a smart horse. Okay. Come on, mate. There's a lot of horses that are smarter than us. But also it pulls the cart around and it's all fancy like in the city.

You know the ones in the city? There's a lot of horses that are stronger than us too. Really? Yeah. How old the hell? Strong than me? Good on you're Molly. Taking your horse and cart for a run around Ceasey Arkansas?

And it's obviously, it's not one of these normal city ones that are kind of a bit cruel to the animals. These ones would be the horses love it. Oh my God. Every day the horses are knocking on her wind bedroom window. Like, can we go please? Their son is phased them out from some of the big cities. I think London might have cut them. Cut the horses.

Yeah. It's all about double-decker surfboards these days. Yeah. Yeah. Much more important. In the Thames. In London, yeah, for sure. Molly Hardin.

Yeah. Clippity clop. There's nothing more romantic than that. A bit of snow. Name something more romantic. You can't. No, you can't. A big jar of peanut butter.

Oh, that is sexy. You could do anything you want without peanut butter. And I'm instantly hungry for peanut butter. I'm always hungry for peanut butter. Yeah, it's always going on just below the surface. Yeah. I was thinking the other day as I was eating. peanut butter with a spoon straight from the jar.

I thought how many spoonfuls of peanut butter is depression? You know? Did you get to the bottom of that? No. Jarr? Yes. Oh, thanks everyone that supports the show on Patreon. You make our little world go around.

Matt, do we need to induct anyone to the Triptitch Club? If anyone's made it into the Trip Ditch Club this week. That's people that have supported the show, nonstop, at a certain level, the shoutout level for three plus years. There are. We do have three inducted. Let me roll out the red carpet. And Dave, of course, you are going to engrave these into a page on the website.

I will engrave them onto my computer screen and then take a photo and put it on Instagram. It feels like the kind of thing you could, you're very stubbornly not doing this. It feels like something you would quite easily be able to manage. Why don't you do it? Because this is your birthright. Is it not? I don't want to take that away from you. And also, I don't know how to do it.

I know that you know how to do it. I'd have to research how to do it. The one thing you love most is research. Yeah, but fun things. Oh, okay. Or murders. I would love to thank from Mastic Beach, or sorry, not thank, but induct from Mastic Beach, New York,

Kevin J. Rate. Thanks, Kev. From Claremont Western Australia, Ruth Gat Lodding. On your Ruth. And from Surbiton, Great Britain, Rosemary Lynch. Get it up, yeah. All right, Rosemary, do it for me. I mean, I'll do it for you.

Both weird. Thanks for your support. Amazing. If I just cut through your support with one weird phrase, sorry. It's still a very exclusive club. Less than 50 people in there. Wow. That's awesome.

And it's a real, real honor for us to have you in there. Imagine if any of them ever leave us. There's a Imagine Champagne on arrival Oh absolutely Canapes Whichever way you want to say

Canapes I think everyone Who the fuck says canapes? I don't say canopies Why Everyone says I went to I went to big doggy

And I mispronance That was not on purpose Mate everyone Everyone says Canopies All right We've all been camping My mum was once at a function where someone offered her a canape

And I've laughed about that for many years And now that's even funny though Would you like a canopy? A canopy? A canopy? A canopi? Am I saying that right? I'm not saying that right?

Well that pretty much brings us to the end of the episode Thanks to all our patrons You can get on our patreon.com slash do go on pod And there's heaps of different rewards Jess has just rebooted the newsletter So every Sunday slash Monday Depending on where you are in the world You'll get a weekly update.

And we've got fun things to announce soon, which I think Jess will be putting out on next week's thing. There's still works in progress on our YouTube channel type things. We've got a new stretch goal which we're going to announce, which certain people of a certain movie star fame might be interested in. Someone who's got a bar and he doesn't mind phrasing it. Have I said too much? I think I've pretty much said it now, haven't I? That's right.

If we raise enough money, we will fly and we will have dinner with Russell Crow. I'm looking forward to it. We'll record the conversation. Yeah. He's already a fan of my work. Remember that time he retweeted my video? Amazing. Best moment of my life.

Me too. And the worst amount of our lives, when Greg Norman failed to reply. Greg Norman, you dog, you sick dog. The highs and lows of life. But still, we might be able to talk about Greg Norman later this month on a Patreon on the episode. That's exciting. Please. Yes, but so and other things you can vote on topics, two out of three, basically,

of the episodes we do have been voted on by patrons. Anyone can suggest the topic though, which is via the link in the show notes. That's right. We look forward. If you can think of any crazy, fun, wacky, weird stories that not many people know about, or you think we just don't know about it over here in Australia, tell us about it and we'll probably do a report on it.

Yeah, it definitely helps how you write that little pitch, and if you have some good sources to start off with. That's definitely probably put you ahead of the head of the curve for getting picked out as well. And yeah, what are some of the other bonuses we get? At the moment,

we do two bonus episodes per month. This month we're doing three because we got fucked by technology last month. You also get like pre-sales on all of our shows and you get information first and stuff like that. And yeah, there's a Facebook group for Patreon only. So there's a whole heap of stuff. So get involved if you want to. And why would you not want to?

Yeah. Get in there. That's patreon.com slash do go on pod. Anything else we need to say? We're doing festival shows. We didn't mention that this week. Yeah, that's right. We are coming up to the Melbourne Comedy Festival for our fourth annual year.

And it's going to be... Fourth annual year. Yeah. We're doing his annually now. Yeah. I just said annually wrong. I can't sing in. Stop talking, I reckon.

Yeah. We're just doing four shows. It's going to be really fun. And tickets are on sale. And the first one especially is really selling well. And you can get in at comedy festival.com. com. Where tickets are also on sale for Matt's stand-up show and Jess's stand-up show.

Yes. And Matt's yourcomcom. And Jess Perkins. com. Nailed it. Now, Dave, say goodbye. I just saw it. This does not feel like a two-hour episode.

Yeah, it's been a long. It's been a long, long, long time. It's been a long, long, long, long, long. La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-long. Pod. Come on. I was referencing Led Zeflin in that one. I want to make you.

Yeah. Every time. Thanks so much for listening to the show. We'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, I'll say thank you. And goodbye. Bye. Sorry.

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