Two In The Think Tank - 237 - The Stranger of North Pond

Episode Date: May 6, 2020

Beginning in the 1980s, the citizens of North Pond in Maine were haunted by a mysterious intruder. Things like batteries and propane tanks went missing from cabins and homes, while more expensive items were left untouched. Decades passed without police getting any closer to finding the culprit who became known in town as the North Pond Hermit.Our website: dogoonpod.comSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.gq.com/story/the-last-true-hermithttps://www.michaelfinkel.com/the-stranger-in-the-woods/excerpt-stranger-woods/https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/04/lessons-of-the-hermit/517770/https://vimeo.com/406217619https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2017/04/north-pond-hermit-maine-knight-stranger-woods-finkel/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Thomas_Knighthttps://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/maine-hermit-christopher-knight-cuts-deal-avoid-jail-time-flna8C11153988https://downeast.com/arts-culture/the-stranger-in-the-woods/

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long-term solution,

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This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts.

Multitask right now, quoteote today at Progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, National Average 12 Month savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discount is not available in all safe and situations. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career

in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnikey and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and that's Stuart. Dave, how good is it to be alive? So good. So good. I'm like in my head, I'm like, let's be positive. And I think it doesn't get any more positive than that. And I'm like, good is it to be alive. Let's all go around the circle and say one thing we're thankful for.

Being alive! Being alive. Oh, um, you can have the same one. I'm not being dead. Um, staying alive. Ah! The song, the love, the love, the tender, the love. Love that.

Hey Dave, how does this show work? I think you're in the best position to explain it. Well, over there. Well, this show is a common show but also a history show. We've taken in terms to report on a topic often suggested by a listener to people that chime in along as the reporter tells them about the topic and this week it's your turn to chime in Matt and you usually start with a question. you usually start with a question We do so with a question this week the question is like I've been doing a lot in recent weeks slightly tangential to the topic itself because I don't think you probably I didn't know the topic so The question is and this is really sorry just playing into geography nerd Dave's

Somalia, so I'm gonna get'm going to give you both one guess, but Jess gets first guess. But that's not good because, all right. You've got a one in 50 chance. That might even help you already. OK. What is the easternmost state of mainland USA? No. No.

I have no idea. I was so surprised by this place was. I know there's lots of people from the US watching but I mean like you name a state in Australia. Yeah good luck. There's only six of them. Most of them just pick North East out of the West and put it in front of them. Yeah that's true. Yeah that's a no. There's a Western and there's a South. So you've got a 75% chance of getting around. It's just the East Coast that gave cute little names. Dave, do you have any idea? You would, okay, on a flight, where were we coming back from?

There was a flight, you and I were seeing next to each other. I had a nap, Dave the whole time was playing this quiz game that was like naming states in the US. Why the map? All right, Jess, first crack. I would never close. Just stay at state, ready, set, go. Are you gonna say Cuba? Because that's not a bad guess. That's have a clue. Just stay at state. Ready, set, go. You're going to say Cuba, because that's not not a bad guess.

That's not about to be applied. I think it was about to say Quebec. Well, that's so close to Quebec. Actually, I think it, if it doesn't border it, it basically borders Quebec. So you're so close, Dave, you want to have a go? Quebec, obviously, in Canada. Yeah. I know. But I bet you you are closer than Dave looking at his face. Main? Oh no, he was right. It's main.

Oh my god. I'm going to say, man! Fuck, I'm an idiot. Okay, great. Main. I think we learn this every week. Jess, you got to believe in yourself. I just don't. I just don't believe in myself. I truly don't, I just don't believe in myself.

I truly don't. So that's where this story takes place in Maine. Whoa. Okay, cool. Which is very close to my favorite state, Vermont. Yeah, it is. So it's up in the north, it's the most north eastern,

cool. It's in that corner. Yeah, right. It's not the most northern, and it's not the most eastern, because I think there's a more eastern state that's maybe floating in the sea somewhere. I don't know what I'm talking about. Just floating.

David's pronounced a Quebec. Sorry, I'm so sorry. Look, I know the place, so I just don't know the pronunciation. So they're back. Okay, so I can't see. Well, it doesn't even have the seat. You would certainly sit. Got you.

Got you. This topic was suggested by Josh J Singh in Manchester in the UK and Jamie Allison from New Brunswick and Canada. New Brunswick's also very close by to Maine. Since the 1980s, the story has begun. Oh, thank you. Let me begin. The story begins now.

Since the 1980s, city the citizens of North Pontman were haunted by a strange and persistent intruder. Oh yeah. journalist Michael Finkel has written about the story for both GQ magazine and his own book dedicated to the subject. Michael Finkel. Michael Finkel. Amazing. Finkel comes up a lot. He is the primary and basically only source of the story. Finkel is a fantastic name. It is fantastic. Mickey Finkel.

Oh, Mickey Finkel. Mickey the Finkel. He sounds dangerous. He wrote, At first in the late 1980s there were strange occurrences. Flashlights were missing their batteries. Stakes disappeared from the fridge. Stakes disappeared from the fridge day. When he said so, I went wooden stakes right away. I'm like, why are they in the fridge?

I'll come with you. New propane tanks on the grill had been replaced by old ones. At least someone swapped them over. Yeah. They didn't just steal the new one. My grandkids thought I was losing my mind, said David Prok's, whose vacation cabin was broken into at least 50 times. 50 times. 50 times. That's a replacement. That's a replacement.

That's a replacement. That's a replacement. That's a replacement. Why do you need your flashlight so much? Turn on a light. But grow up. Grow up. Grow up.

What do you fucking do? Grow up and new electricity. New electricity, you idiot. Do they have electricity in Maine? They do, but this is like a pretty rugged era of mine on a lake. And some of these cabins don't have electricity. Most of them do, but some of them don't. A lot of them are holiday homes, although there are permanent residents there as well. I think there's a few hundred

of these cabins littered around the lakes. Then people began noticing other things. Wood shavings near window locks, scratches on door frames. Was it a neighbour, a gang of teenagers? The robberies continued. Boat batteries, frying pans, winter jackets. All these bits and pieces kept going missing. Why is it always gangs of teen, why do we assume it's teenagers? You know, some teenagers just sit in their room playing the Sims. Why couldn't it be, that's an example.

Why couldn't it be a gang of old people? Isn't it funny because most crime is done by old people. Yeah, but we're like, oh, bloody kids. But it's never like a better, this is a gang of middle-aged men. Which is probably what a normal year. Oh, this Ponzi scheme's hit the town again, but it's those teenagers stealing from the rich.

My backyard's been hacked, better was a gang of teenagers. There was talk like it might, these might be some sort of induction ceremonies where they've got to go steal things. Like hazing. Yeah, these teens. Yeah.

You're not in the club until you bring back a pair of double-aid batteries. Okay, I can just pop down the stuff. Finity time from that guy's hands. Oh, all right. Oh, no, if you buy him, oh no. Because I work at the openly supermarket in town. Still got the barcode on it, you're dingus. That's where the packet. It's one of the teenagercode on it, you're dingus. It's in the packet.

It's one of the teenager words from the 80s, dingus. Especially specifically in Maine. Yeah, they loved it in Maine. The North Pond community was fairly tight knit. Everyone knew everyone else, but the robberies had some residents pointing the finger at each other. Oh.

Even there were two brothers who accused each other of stealing each other's gas and propane tanks. You did it. You took mine. You took mine. It's tearing the town around. It's tearing families apart. They're turning on each other. Other theories positive that it could have been an anti-social return of Vietnam veteran or even one of the hijackers from the 1970s. Like our man DB Cooper still on the run. That was one of the theories going on. We didn't even do a DB.

When they say it was an anti-social veteran, was there a guy specifically, that was thinking of, they're just like, I bet it's one of those anti-social veterans. Finally blaming the old people. I've heard so much about. Yeah, it was just probably some some guy who's anti social. Yeah, I met it I mean if it turns out to be DB Cooper this would be amazing. I'm gonna lose my

Please please tell us it's him please don't skip to the end. That's on page 28 Feet are cold. We always felt like he was watching us one resident said and Feet took hold. We always felt like he was watching us one resident said. And while the police were often called, they're unable to help. The burglaries continued on for decades, and the police had nearly nothing at all to go on. No great leads or suspects. Is he taking anything like anything big or of much worth? No. Okay. The residents started beefing up the security in their homes, getting extra locks and dead

bolts installed. Finkle continues. Locks were changed. Alarm systems installed. Nothing seemed to stop him or her or them. No one knew. A few desperate residents even left notes on their doors. Please don't break in.

Tell me what you need and I'll leave it out for you. But the assistance police don't steal from me. Nice one, Rob. He wants the big you make and it says police don't steal from me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So they, so they beat, yeah, left these notes out,

saying, tell us what you need, we'll give it to you. If someone's breaking your window, whatever you've got to pay for the window as well, who cares about the batteries maybe, but like your locks or whatever? Yeah, I'll leave you out of 24 pack of batteries, I don't care. Just, just, stop breaking my windows.

Stop breaking the lock. They, books often won't missing as well. So some people left bags of books out on their porch, saying, just take these. But the notes were never repaid to. They left pens with the notes, never worked. The books were never taken. It would take me a while to realize a book had been taken.

I would never realize a book had been taken. You know? Yeah. Almost your bookmark was in it, and you'd read it last night, wasn't it? And it was on my bedside table. It was the one I was reading. Then I'd be like, that book's gone.

But I'd assume, and apparently a lot of people did, they'd just be like, what did I do with it? Yeah. I've misplaced, and apparently a lot of people had those thoughts,

even though their batteries kept missing, I'm like, what am I doing with these batteries? I could have swallowed a bunch of batteries in. And are these places, are people living there full-time? Are they like sort of holiday cabins? Most of these, or nearly all of these are holiday cabins. Right, so it's easier to express breaking if no one's home. Yeah.

Yeah. Incidents mounted and the Phantom morphed into legend. The Phantom. At a homeowner's meeting in 2002, so this is like 15 years after the first robberies. The hundred people present were asked who had suffered break ins. 75 raised their hands. Campfire stories were swapped. One kid recalled that he was when he was 10 years old all his Halloween candy was stolen. That kid was then 34. He's still bitter. He. He's big fucking nerd. There was the new type of M&Ms that never even seen him before. They were all too expensive, and when I tried to replace him with a shot of Z sold out, I never tried him.

I never tried him. And that's why I never achieved my dreams. Yeah, that's why I never married, because I never looked to trust. Ha ha ha ha ha. Still, the robbery is persisted. The crimes after so long felt almost supernatural. Things like jewelry, TVs, computers, and cameras were nearly never taken, but propane tanks, batteries, and books were. Windows and doors were never broken.

Oh, right. There was rarely any trace of anyone having been there. A strange assortment of things were also taken, including outdoor thermometers and playboy magazines. So not butt thermometers. Not butt thermometers. Very important not to mix those two. Out of butt thermometers. And playboy magazines.

Out of butt thermometers. Well both. One time, a couple returned to their holiday home to find one of their bunk bed mattresses was missing But this made no sense the mattress was far too big for it to fit through any of their windows and the only door to the house Remained bolted and padlocked when they arrived So how did this happen? There's no way of getting this mattress out of the house just cut it up into tiny pieces through it out the window vacuumed up

Snuck out the window itself.ed up, snuck out the window yourself. It's the only explanation. threw it out the mattress. It wasn't about the mattress. It was about fucking with them. I don't want it like my theory is, you get the mattress, you take it out the front door, and then you come back and you bolt the front door

and then you leave to the window. I think because the way the lock was, you wouldn't be able to unbolt it and re-bolt it. Oh, okay, right, I might have been deadlocked. I just got that. I just got that. I kind of like mine better. Yeah, just to fuck with you.

Well, the closest thing to an explanation that Finkel has was that the thief came in through one of the windows, then took the hinges off the door, being able to sort of creak it open from the hinge side, sliding the mattress out through the gap and then reinstalling the hinges before leaving through the window. That's a lot of work, but it's a lot of work and that seems like what probably happened. Yeah, unless there was an actual ghost stealing them and they use ghost powers. Yeah, okay. Because I mean, I couldn't mention that. Ghosts can go through walls, but if a person is holding the hand of a ghost Sometimes they can also go through them. So maybe if the ghost is holding the mattress holding the hand of the mattress

Holding the hand of the mattress. Yeah, then they can both pass through That's what the mattress says that goes through The mattresses talk they can do when being held by the hand by ghost. Okay, but like just one on my bed at home is like It's not talking. Well, is there a ghost in the room? I don't know but like just one on my bed at home is like, it's not talking. Well, is there a ghost in the room? I don't know. We've just moved into a new place. You don't know.

It's probably wanted. Everyone's haunted. The same couple who had their mattress stolen once returned to find their backpack was also stolen. But how did they get it out? No backpack could fit through a window. Yeah, no backpack. The only theory was he took the roof off the house, the tile by tile, slowly lifted the back,

and they were only going to the shops for six minutes. Yeah, he's amazing. He or she is an amazing ghost. They also found that their cabin was six inches to the right. Rick Bubbric. Just a fuck with him. I came back to work one day, and I could swear, I met a group of desks, it's about six of us sitting

around this open desk, and I could swear that it was about 15 centimeters closer to the window. And no one else could see it, but I could, and I thought, I just assumed they'd done it to fuck with me. Yeah. And had they? Well, they still didn't, I still haven't felt that. There's no indentation on the carpet where it was. I'm like, no, I'm close to fuck with me. Yeah. And had they? Well, they still didn't know. They still haven't felt it.

There's no indentation on the carpet where it was. I'm like, no, I'm close to the window now. Only people who would say that are people who vacuumed up the window. They just buffed out the window. They thought about it. And they want you to know they thought about it and fix it.

Yeah. It made me feel crazy. Always just your stuff moved slightly. The disc itself. Now, just close. Like, I was seeing. The possible the wall was moved closer to the wall. Yes. Now that's a good theory.

Yeah. Because I couldn't see the deserts. I wouldn't say the same. But I could see where the wall had been. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and they were still building and moving the wall when you got there.

Yeah, like, what are these workers doing? Yeah, what are these workers doing? Have they moved my desk? So they had their bags on and this was bad news because that's where they hid their passports. So that's a bummer. But later they found their passports on a shelf in the wardrobe. The thief having removed them from the bag and left them there for them.

That was the kind of thing. I was like, what is this? It's kind of considered. Yeah. Also, but is it considered to hide them in the wardrobe when you put them on the bed or something where it's really obvious? Yeah, because otherwise you've already gone through the process of replacing the passport. Yeah, they're probably canceled the passport by the time they found it and gone, oh, fuck.

Yeah, and their expensive passports aren't cheap. Hmm. That's to go get a new photo taken and they're never good. Yeah, if you want to go and holiday to Quebec, for example, you're going to need one because it's in the Caribbean. Oh, I can't wait for my passport to expire next year. I get a new photo. Where are we in? The Caribbean. I get a new photo. Wow.

The Caribbean. You get a new, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, not unhappy with your photo. Oh, it's horrendous. Have you not seen it? I'm sure I've shown you. Yeah. On our many travels.

I've never seen a good one. I had to get a new passport for when we went to the UK last year. And I went to a chemist and the man taking the photo was about 85 years old. Good. But he said he could do it. And I got to a campus and the man taking the photo was about 85 years old. Good. But he said he could do it. And I got the photo. I reckon I looked quite hot in the photo. I sent it in and they sent it back saying it had been taken improperly.

Oh, damn it. And was, you were wearing a hat and some vassal. And you were smiling. The given him the finger. The guy said it was fine. He said he was an expert. I didn't have the heart to go back. You know, because there's like 20 or $30 to get this professional photo. I didn't have the heart to go back, you know, because there's like 20 or $30

at least for the professional, but I didn't have the heart to go back and tell him. So you didn't come on that trip with us? No. Because I didn't want to offend an old man. Wasn't that, yeah. But it is funny that the chemist is the one trusted with the photos.

And I got a second-fout attack. That a Jerry Sahnfeld bit, feels like, why does it with these chemists? Taking the photos for the past That's a good bit In summary, I don't look as hot in the second set of photos It's just appointing a set of photos. So that guy had a gift just not the password Well, I think the rules basically say you can't look hot. Maybe joking. That's why it was directed Yeah, you looked you don't look this hot

The guy who came up with the rules it was real. I'll go. I'm gonna go in with a full face of makeup Yeah, like too much makeup like Marge Simpson yeah the makeup I'm gonna go in like that what was the setting that he had a set of or I don't think that I don't think they'd write that but my favorite alarm the everything's okay alarm this alarm will sound every three seconds unless everything's not okay. Turn it off, it can't be turned off,

though it does break easily. Sorry, that's too many simpsons references, but... This is one of my favorite things from the whole story, it doesn't matter at all, but... One local resident, Fred King, had his sugar bowl stolen. For years afterwards, his friends nicknamed him sugar bowl. He won a camera for beer, sugar bowl. And he hates it.

Did he hate it? He hates it. So he hates his safe soul mate. I hate to, did he hate to, did he hate to, did he hate to sleep so much? He, this thief ruined my life. I'm still here sugarball. That would be annoying. Maybe sugar, he didn't want to, he pulled the sugar out on the bed, he could just take a bowl.

He could have taken anything. And I thought, wow. Why didn't he just, why aren't I called like Bowie Knight for something cool Why did he steal my jackhammer? Oh my god, bro come along, cobra Jackhammer Come back and take something else But Oh my god, bro That was absolutely worth He hates the guy as well Clumsy nickname Bowl

Fun that's funny the pine tree camp at children's camp Was the main victim of the mysterious see actually I've written children's camp, was the main victim of the mysterious thief. Actually, I've written children's camp, but I don't think it was. I think it was a camp for disabled children and adults. It was the main victim of the mysterious thief. I think so. That's tragic to the places. Yeah, and that's why I think some people like this is pretty fucked.

Finkle described it as their own personal Costco. They'd break in and pilfer food and drinks, but never expensive items, then leave without a trace. Many residents of North pond were scared. Every time they went out, they were afraid someone was in the trees watching them. When they went to the wood pile of an evening, they felt like they were being watched as well.

Every time they returned from the shops, they were bracing for the stranger to be there. The theory that the thief was some sort of forest-dwelling hermit group popular, I mean, wouldn't that be the case, right? If your place is being robbed, you know, every few months or something, you just be parrorned and you know that all around the neighborhood, there's this mysterious thief. It's just that uncomfortable feeling of something

that you have. Going through your staff right there. But I was just thinking that it sounds like someone, like it sounds like a doomsday proper. You know, just like stocking up on stuff. In a bunker somewhere. Yeah. That's what I think. Early prediction. I think it's a bear.

Okay. Wiley's guilt. Very stealthy bear. I think it's a bear. Okay. Fiery skills. Very stealthy bear. Maybe a doomsday bear. Probably sugar bowl. Shhh. All bears need sugar bowls. Sugar bowl does sound like a

something Winnie the Pooh would steal. Yeah. And he is of course a doomsday prep. Yeah. Notorious, yeah. I mean, honey is the only food substance that never goes off. Is that true?

So there you go. Never goes off. Is that true? So there you go. Never goes off. I found like ancient Egyptian honey. It's still good. Still technically edible. Technically. That means it tastes like shit. I don't think it tastes great, but yeah.

It lasts forever. If it's stored properly, I guess it's a... Like in a tomb. Yes. Ah. Mummified honey. That's what I call toot and calm. He's my mummified honey.

Mummified honey. Mummified honey. Ah, ho! So the theory that the thief was some sort of forest-dwelling hermit grew popular with many of the town referring to the mysterious thief as the Northpond hermit. Some sort of mysterious bearded mountain man. One resident, Debbie Baker, had young children who were terrified of the hermit.

So to quell their fears, the family renamed him the Hungry Man, which to me is way scary, all right? Why would I see it? Wow. The hungry. It sounds like a, that's a horror film, girl. Don't worry, he's just gonna break in and eat you. He's a hungry man.

He doesn't know he's gonna eat you. Yeah, that's terrifying. The hermit. I would have just got him hermit crabs. Then they love hermits. He's snippin' it away around. It's adorable. It's a dolly little shell.

In the early 2000s, there was finally a breakthrough. So this is, you know, 15 odd years. It's wild that it's been going on for that long. May, you just be like, there'd be kids who, they've known nothing else, but just living in a place that is, you know, broken into all the time. Oh, time.

And then, is it, people have up the security, but has anyone got, like, security cameras? Oh, that's, uh... Or has anyone moved? It was like, you be wondering. Well, I imagine some did, but most were just like... Well, this sucks. Yeah, exactly. In the early 2000s, I was finally, you be wondering. Well, I imagine some did, but most were just like. Well, this sucks.

Yeah, exactly. In the early 2000s, I was finally a breakthrough, as well as renaming the hermit, the hungry man. The bake is also installed a hidden security camera. It's in a teddy bear, like a nanny can. And the interesting thing, why didn't they do it earlier? That's what I was thinking. But well, this next little section

is from Finkel's book, A Stranger in the Woods, which I've just listened to the audio book version of the last week, and it's so good. Highly recommend it. Finkel doesn't like it. Actually good, or it's like funny good. No, it's really good. Yeah, I loved it. Well, I mean, it was this story, but he also goes in it. he sort of zigzags in and out of different theories on life and stuff as well. It was an interesting listen. So this is from that book. As the price and size of motion sensing security cameras decreased, several families installed them. So I think that's the main thing. Like a lot of tech was just too expensive for normal people to have in the 80s. Yeah.

And into the 90s, you, I mean, you kids wouldn't know this, but things used to cost a pretty penny. When I was a kid, potato cakes could cost 10 cents by monopodure. When you were a kid, you used pennies. Yeah, sorry, 10 pennies. At what, the finkle goes on? Or finkle? Finkle. I think I've called him, I'll call him by Finkle and Finkle as the report goes on, I just

realise. Just think I. Mickey Fink. Mickey the Fink. At one cabin where the camera was hidden in a smoke detector, this was at the Baker's place, I think. That's smart. There was success.

The helmet was captured on film, peering into a refrigerator. The images were confusing though. The thief's face wasn't in focus, but they appeared to show a clean, well-dressed man who was neither emaciated nor bearded. Highly unlikely to have been roughing it in the woods. He didn't appear nimble or strong or even outdoorsy. Mr Ordinary, one person called him. Which is a full wrestler name. Yeah. So is he wearing some sort of three-piece suit? No, he's just sort of wearing casual winter clothes.

That would be disappointing. Yeah. He's like, ah, because you've built up this image in your head and he's just like a sort of a hop goblin with a beard. How can he's just like a... Normal hop gobblin's have a beard? I assume so.

He's just a regular personlin with a beard. How can he's just like a... Normal hop goblins have a beard? I assume so. Yeah. He's just a regular person who's like bored. It's part of it's like a fun game now. Oh, it's like the school principal or something. Everyone knows this guy. Yeah, maybe. He's just breaking into for fun. Yeah, it's just like he did it a couple of times

for shitting gigs and now it's just sort of like it's a bit of a rush. And then people talk about him all the time. But he's like fucking with people. It's like a serial killer without the killing buff. Yeah, right. So there's still something not right up here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But almost like it became an addiction. Yeah, and I can enjoy the notoriety. Like, oh, totally. What do you know about the Hermit lately? Yeah, really bad in the paper, hearing other people talking about it, maybe sort of having your own thoughts. Like, yeah, I know, I'm so scared.

I reckon it's a man bird. I reckon it's a man bird who swoops in and he be take. That's why he locks batteries. Cause it's shiny. Something about, yeah, the shining of him and he makes nests, battery nests. That's why I reckon, can you wear that to work? That's why they call him battery hens. I assume.

I assume that's good. Battery ease. That's very good, Dave. That's my new favorite bit. Oh, I'll equal with sugar bowl. Sugar bowl. No, I can't be equal with sugar bowl. Sugar bowl was the greatest. And they were all being standing on the bar and one goes, I reckon we should call them sugar bowl. No, and yeah, sugar bowl. Please. No, no. I was just telling you that my house is broken into my house. I'm trying to open up with them. Yeah was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into.

I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into.

I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into.

I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that my house is broken into. I was just telling you that never open up to friends. Just in case. They will review. They will. Finkel ends this paragraph saying, it was probable, you know, talking about it now that they call him Mr. Ordinary, or one person did anyway. It was probable people deduced

that this so-called hermit had been a neighbor all along. Much like you just deduced as well. The police were confident that with these images they would soon arrest their man. They posted the photos all around town. Offers went from cabin to cabin offices. Did I say that? You said office. You said office, but office makes more sense. Are they asking, taking office? What are you reckon? Three bucks we'll catch them tomorrow. No, two bucks, all right. You're wrong. Offers went from cabin to cabin, but nobody could identify the man pictured.

And the breakings continued for another decade. Oh my God! They have a photo of him. Yeah. But that, like, okay, so... So it's not the principal, obviously. Okay. But he's aware that there's been...

That there's security footage of him, and that they're looking for him, and also probably aware that more people are going to get security cameras. Yeah. But he keeps going. Yeah. What US shumies are aware of this? Yeah, I do assume he's aware of it.

Shimming, one of the officers knocked on his door and said, do you know this man? Man, anyway. Oh, they've got a photo of me. I've never seen him before. No, I've never seen him before. I've never posted him all around town and stuff. I've never seen this good looking man in animal life, but God, what a mug. Wow, he's gorgeous.

But the fact that no one recognized him, maybe suggests he doesn't get around town. Yeah, yeah, true. Maybe he's not from town. Maybe he's sort of a recluse. Flying in from Corvette. Maybe he's not from town. That's interesting too, yeah. Some residents grew impatient. One man, Neil Patterson, whose family had a place on the pond for a half a century Started hiding in his house overnight with a gun in his hand

He lighting in his house overnight. Yeah lights out He likes like hiding in his bed with the pillow here Snoring for example, yeah, I was a perfect Pretending to be asleep. Snoring, for example, for eight hours. Perfect. Perfect disguise. What a good hiding spot. So basically you were sleeping with a gun under his pillow.

Which we all do every night. Obviously. No, I think what he was doing was he was sitting facing the windows and door with gun cocked and loaded. God, that's scary. I mean, if it's, this has been happening for decades, you'd be like, all right, one of us just got to catch him.

Yeah, you'd be. Yeah. If he one of us has got to catch him. Yeah, you'd be like, yeah. If he's in a rocking chair, he does look insane. That's all I'm saying. He stayed up for 14 nights straight with a magnum in his hand without result and he gave up. You do hope he's sleeping in the day, you know, just putting himself on night shift. Yeah. That's what I hope. You hope.

Otherwise, he'll die. Honestly, who knows the Neil Patterson? You know what he's like I hope. You hope. Otherwise, he'll die. Honestly, who knows the Neil Patterson? You know what he's like? By 2013, this started in the 80s. By 2013, they'd been around 25 years of investigating the North Pond hermit. He's going to be an old man by now. Finkle rights that these include foot searches, flyovers, fingerprint dusting, and it was conducted by four separate law enforcement agencies, two county sheriff's departments, the state police and the game warden office,

and no one had even figured out the hermit's name. They just had no idea who it was. He never left fingerprints? Apparently not, or none that they found, and if they found them, none that were on record to match you Yeah, right of course because it would be if you were the local sheriff It would be like the bane of your existence I really am embarrassed that you can't catch this guy. Yeah, we like your whole career. Yeah, yeah

Imagine it would be multiple sheriffs. Yeah totally mean something retired without Getting a result. She's that would suck. That'd be so much right? We get this. Yeah, we got his photo He's still doing it. It was in my house last night. All right sugar balls I don't even know what a sugar ball is. Do you know what a sugar bowl is? Yeah, it's a bowl you put sugar in, right? But does sugar? Yes, it's a sugar bowl. This isn't another deno-ass and aridite. What do you mean?

What do you mean a sugar bowl? It's a like a bowl. You have a little spoon in it. Oh, yeah. Open it's got a little divot for us. I'm just going to spoon. Yeah, exactly. And it's got a little lid on top.

And have a little lid. Okay, I'm with you. I don't drink. You don't call me saying anymore. I don't feel like you grew up in a house Well, my dad is watching this and he'll be out of coming along Equals is what my dad would use what about you mom. Yeah tablets. What about you mom mom? No sugar So there's no sugar in the house. No, we did have a sugar ball to be honest I think my new nickname should be sugar ball as punishment

I'm so sorry. I was thinking like did you mean like a cake bowl? And I was like why is it should take bowl like you know? Fuck off what would what would what bowl would you use to make a cake him with flour and so I'm mixing bowl mixing bowl There you go. I don't cook. Yeah, no, we know I mate and Martin have a word with you Sugar Bowl So sorry, please do go on. At this point, Sergeant Terry Hughes, a state game warden, up the anti. He'd been working as a main game warden for 18 years at that point. Main game. And had grown frustrated by the lack of results in this case.

I'd never heard the term game warden before. I think we really have an equivalent here. Have you heard of it? It's like a forest ranger or something? I guess that's sort of what it is. So there, game wardens enforce laws around hunting, trapping, fishing, jenga, and recreational vehicles. That's crap. I'm afraid you've rolled double three times.

It's straight to jail for you. I'm afraid I'm so sorry. I take my job very seriously. If you don't go to tell in the board, I will take you to Jalen Red Life, so. Prior to being a warden, Hughes was a US Marine for 10 years. He spoke with some friends who worked in Homeland Security and organized some state-of-the-art surveillance equipment.

They told him it was far too sophisticated for anything a game warden might need, but he insisted it was perfect. He organized three of the Border Patrol agents to visit the Pine Tree Camp They hit his senses in the camp kitchen and the unit that received the data back at Hughes as home Which was only a short drive away right if a sensor was tripped and alarm would sound to alert Hughes He'd be both alerted and alarm

Would it be an alarm like at the camp or was it just an alarm for him? Just an alarm for him. Yeah. Yeah, okay, cool. It's funny because it's like the way the lead up to this, he's like, he was talking all these different security experts and took him a while to find the right thing. And apparently this was brand new state of the art, top of the range security equipment. But to me, it just sounds like a sensor with an sensor with like a remote alarm. We've got that here. Yeah I feel like that's just as

he essentially is installed some sort of doorbell camera. I think we've got him guys. I don't know exactly why but apparently this is like top of the range expensive stuff. Anyway so Hughes learnt the system from back to front. The plan was when the intruder tripped one of the sensors he would be there in a flash expensive stuff. Anyway, so Hughes learnt the system from back to front. The plan was, when the intruder tripped one of the sensors, he would be there in a flash to arrest him. I'll be there with a jiffy! But the hermit had evaded capture for a quarter of a century. He knew that there was no room for error. Hughes rehearsed getting from his house to the camp over and over, shaving

seconds of his time, each with each practice run, almost like it was training for the Olympics or something. He learned where the camp's sensor lights were so he didn't set them off and alert the hermit to his arrival obviously. So if he drove in and the lights went off he's like, oh the hermit's gonna see that and get away again. So he- I feel intense now. He found a spot to ditch his truck so that he didn't get too close to the camp for the engine to be heard. Every night he set out his gear on top of the stairs, gun, flashlight, phone, handcuffs, and runners.

Every night- Just sleep with your runners on. That's going to save ages. Sometimes, especially when I'm in a hurry, can't get those fuckers on. And then you go, I left a sock in there for some reason. And then you're going to get that out. And then one of them is still tied up and you're like, how did I those fuckers on. And then you go, I left a sock in there for some reason, I got that out. And then one of them is still tied up and you're like, how do I get it off?

And then, you know, it's a nightmare. That smart, leave your runners on, in bed, and you go. In bed. Leave it cocked and loaded. You don't want to waste any time having to do that bit going, Crack, that's seconds. Yeah.

I felt like hour was watching you do that instead. You could get a bit of double the double the WD 40 on my on my cock The cock of my gum Jess Obviously, I know a bit about guns. I know all the lingo Sounds to me like you've got a bit of a creaky cock. I got a creaky It's my favorite bit of the Wizard of Oz. Maybe the only bit I remember of it. The tin man saying out the corner of his mouth. Good stuff So every night he went to bed ready. He said his stuff up. He was in bed. He was ready to go.

Two weeks went by without incident. Then one night in April 2013, weeks went by without incident. Then one night in April 2013, Hughes was nudged awake by his wife. He allowed the alarm of sounding. He was so ready, but the alarm didn't wake him up. But luckily it woke his wife up. She goes, Tari, it's been going off for 15 minutes. Tari, that toy you've got going is happening. So he goes, oh shit, he grabs his gun, his torch, chucks on his runners, sillon his pajama pants, jumps into his truck,

fangs it to the pine tree camp, he keeps his headlights off and parks his car in the predetermined location. From there, he sprints to the kitchen building where he ducks down, heart racing. Oh my God. He has made it from his bed to the camp's kitchen in four minutes. Whoa! That's amazing. I don't think I'd get out of my house that fast. No, God no. We I feel so anxious right now.

Finkel takes up the story from here. I really like Finkel's writing. Hughes takes a breath. Then he cautiously lifts his head and steals a peek through the window, straining his eyes against the dimness of the pine tree kitchen and he sees it, a person carrying a flashlight, the pale beam emanating from the open door

of the walk-in freezer. Could this really, after all these years be him, it must be? The beam brightens and hears tenses, and out of the freezer steps a man hauling a backpack. He's not quite what he's expected. The man is bigger for one thing, and cleaner. His face freshly shaved. He's wearing large nerdy eyeglasses and a wool ski cap. He roams the kitchen, seemingly unconcerned, selecting items as if

in a grocery store. Hughes quietly moves away from the building to call a friend in the police. Robbery's aren't really the jurisdiction of game wardens. According to Finkel, this is more of a spare time obsession for Hughes. That's amazing like how the effort he's gone into is really more of just wardens. According to Finkel, this is more of a spare time obsession for Hughes. That's amazing, like how the effort he's going into is really more of just a hobby. And now he's got a call someone else in. Yeah. It's not even your jurisdiction. Because he can't really make, yeah, unless the hermit was in there fishing illegally. Or cheating at Jenga.

Yeah, he's like, where'd you go those fish sticks? I don't even need to say the license. Yeah, that's an illegal haul. You're only about seven fish sticks. Do you, I sort of feel like either we've got him or he'll get away somehow. Who'd this be for another six years? I reckon they're the two main options, yeah.

I hate when you do that because I always say dumb shit like that. And then you pointed out and I go, oh yeah. No wait, that's our relationship. One of us says something dumb and the other one points it out to us. But I actually do totally get what you mean. I feel the same way in that. Obviously those are the two options. I still feel like he's going to get away.

And then it will be a couple more years and he'll be his obsession. Totally. Maybe. Oh man, I feel so anxious. He's gonna get away and then it'll be a couple more years and he'll be his obsession Totally maybe Oh man, I feel so anxious Think will continue Quote He asked the dispatch office of the main state police to alert Trooper Diane Vance who has also been chasing the hermit

They've been colleagues forever, Hughes and Vance Both graduating from their respective academies the same year Then working together on and off for nearly two decades His idea is to let Vance handle the arrest and the paperwork He returns to the window to keep guard When the man moves towards the door to exit the building can you tell the paragraphs? I read the Finkel's writing and then mine that a real basic play. He didn't say fangert did he? No that was me. When the man moves towards a door to exit the building, Hughes moves around to confront him. Fance hasn't

had time to arrive so he's going to have to take him down alone. Finkel goes on. He is as prepared as possible for whatever might happen. Fist fight to shoot out. He uses 44 years old but still as strong as a rookie, with a jarhead hair cut and a paper crease jawline. He teaches hand-to-hand defensive tactics at the main criminal justice academy. No way he's going to step aside and let the intruder go. The opportunity to disrupt a fallon in progress overrides all concerns. The burglar, Hughes thinks, is probably a military vet and therefore likely armed. Maybe this guy's combat ability is as good as his forest skills.

Hughes holds his position by the cherry red door, glock in his right hand, flashlight in his left, his back against the building's wall. He waits, running the contingencies through his mind until he hears a small clink and sees the door handle turning. I think it was right. I really put you in the scene. I highly recommend the audio. You know, listen to this as you go to sleep at night. Yeah. Generated does voices and stuff as well. So good Anyway, he goes on

The burgular steps out of the dining hall and Hughes flips on his mag light blazing it directly in the man's eyes and trains The 357 Magnum Square in the center of his nose Steading his gun a hand a top is flashlight hand both arms extended. The two men are maybe a body's length apart. So Hughes hops back a few feet. He doesn't want the guy lurging at him, while ferociously bellowing a single phrase, get on the ground, get on the ground, get on the ground. Perhaps surprisingly, the hermit meekly complies.

By the time police troop of ants arrives, Hughes has the Hermit on the ground. They go through his bag and pockets finding candy and meat. His wallet provides no ID but a lot of cash, a few hundred dollars worth, much of it old, some of it moldy. He's been arrested. They got him! And he's also got that kid's candy on him 25 years later. Yeah.

Do you want to return that property? Loves candy. He's got money on him, but it's old, like he's never used. He's old money. He's old money. He hasn't used his money because he's just been stealing shit. Yeah. The two officers take the man inside.

To this point, he's not responded to any of their questions. Finkel describes the man when he was caught. He's wearing new looking blue jeans, a hooded gray sweatshirt, a sweatshirt, under a nice Columbia jacket and sturdy work boots. It's like he's just gone shopping at the mall. His backpack is from LL Bean. I don't know why that is, but I love it. He looked tight.

Only his eye glasses with chunky plastic frames seem outdated. There's no dirt on him anywhere and little more than a shading of stubble on his chin. He has no noticeable body odor. His thinning hair mostly covered by a wool cap is neatly cropped. His skin is strangely pale with several scabs on his wrists. He's a little over six feet tall and broad-shouldered, maybe 180 pounds. The story of the hermit living in the harsh main elements always seemed two fantastical to vans. No one, this is the trooper. No one can survive for one winter, let alone decades of winter in the below freezing temperatures of the main outback. And now seeing him, she feels more certain. This guy did not survive those winters. As ventcle writes, no way did

this guy emerge from the woods. He has a home somewhere or a hotel room and was just coming around to Berglorize places. Hotel room for 25 years. It's like the Hilton. It is cheaper to buy a place, honestly. It's staying in the penthouse. It goes past 2am and the man still isn't talking. So the office has tried a change of tact. Hughes offers the man a drink of water and some cookies. Fans remove his handcuffs and speaks with him alone.

Asking his name once more, the man finally replies, my name is Christopher Thomas Knight. So they got a name. Oh my God. They call back to the police head office and go, is there a missing person report? Is he got a criminal record? Nothing comes back at all.

There's no information on him. Wow. But now I'm going to tell you a bit about this man, Christopher Knight. Knight was born on the 7th of December 1965. He lived in Albion, Maine, a rural community located on the northeast side of Canneback County in central Maine, around a 40-minute drive from where he was arrested at the Pine Tree Camp. He had four older brothers and a younger sister. He lived a relatively happy childhood with his siblings,

but they weren't the Brady bunch. The family was very private, not super emotional. So they didn't, not very emotionally close. Didn't have a TV show, broadcasting that last, was that what you think? Exactly, yeah. They didn't have three very lovely ladies and three boys of his own, whatever. Have a, that jinkro koo,

have a house, do they have an house? They have a house? Ah, they did have have Alice. They got a sexy housekeeper and a butcher from memory. Reading was encouraged. He hunted moose with his father. Moose. Moose. The reason Finkel is the primary source on this subject is because he's the only journalist night has spoken to since being arrested seven years ago. According to Finkel, Knight had a fine childhood and good parents. Knight told him he had excellent grades in high school, though no friends, and graduated early.

Like two of his brothers, he enrolled in a nine-month electronics course at Silvania Technical School in Walton, Massachusetts. Then still in Walton, he took a job installing home and vehicle alarm systems, valuable knowledge to have once he started stealing. Yeah. Not worked in the alarm installation job for less than a year before he quit. He drove back to Maine, driving past his childhood home without stopping, just for

quote one last look around, before continuing north to where main really gets rugged telling Frank Finkel. I drove until I was nearly out of gas. I took a small road, then a small road off that small road, then a trail off that. From there he parked his car, left his keys in it, and then in the summer of 1986, night headed into the wilderness. So it's 21. There's 20. So yeah. And just a that. Some good math, Dave. And then just went, all right. I'm leaving the car behind.

I'm leaving my life behind. I'm going bush. And he planned to leave or did you reckon he was 30 would die? Well, I guess he, I don't know if he had huge plans. There's already said. It's actually wild. I had a backpack with minimal stuff, I had no plans, I had no map, I didn't know where I was going, I just walked away. Was he listening

to Craig David? Well, he was on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. At first, he moved around a lot, camping in different sites for a week or two before moving on, hiking south, saying, I lost track of where I was, I didn't care. Amazingly, before heading into the bush, night had never spent a night in a tent before. He was pretty handy, I think he grew up on a little farm. He knew the outdoors pretty well, although he grew up in sort of a farming area and this is more like rugged lakes and, you know, forest country. So it's quite different but still. I reckon that that is actually tweezered banished because camping is horrific. Yeah, he wouldn't have done it. So he didn't know how bad it was going to be. He foraged for food at first, eating roadkill. He then started taking vegetables from

gardens. Quote, but I wanted more than vegetables. It took a while to overcome my scruples. I was always scared when stealing, always. He'd make sure no one was home, then commit the burglaries in the dead of night. Quote, it was usually one or two AM I'd go in, hit the cabinets, the refrigerator, in and out. My heart was soaring. My heart rate was soaring. It was not a comfortable act. I took no pleasure in it, none at all. And I wanted it over as quickly as possible. It was quite different. You know, you were

thinking, oh, someone is doing it for the thrill of it. Yeah. It was quite the opposite. It was like, I need these things to survive. But I don't, I don't want to work for it. I don't want to, I guess, you know, obviously, I don't want to work for him. I don't want to, I guess, you know, obviously, he didn't, I don't want to live a normal life in society. So this is how he chose to do it. Knight continued to move around over the following two years before settling in one location for the next 25 years. He had one camp as his home.

Once he found a spot, he thought ideal, he settled in. Due to the brutally cold winters, most North Pond residents, Finkel spoke to, found it hard to believe night story, that he camped through it all, especially as night insisted he never let a campfire as a smoke would have alerted people to his existence. Sugar Bowl, in particular, was like, this guy's full of shit. I think he said, he goes to Finkle, this is in the book, he says, do you mind if I swear? He's fucking full of shit.

Or something like that. And then he, this guy ruined my life. My wife left me. I can't be married to a man called Sugarball. I won't be Mrs. Sugarball. According to Finkle, many insist that he either had help

or spent the winters in unoccupied cabins. I challenged Chris myself. You must, I said, have had assistance at some time, or slept in a cabin or used a bathroom. Never once did I sleep inside, he said. He never used a shower or a toilet. After being arrested, he led officers' vans and hues to his campsite. They couldn't believe it.

It was all true, not really did brave the conditions for all those years. Plenty of local still doubt his stories. I mean, just because he's shown you the campsite doesn't mean he's there every single night for 25 years. But I guess the camp just seeing the campsite is like this is there's evidence that this has been around for 25 years old newspapers and magazines or not newspaper magazines and just like it was just obvious that it had been that settled in. He some of the magazines he collected once you finish reading him he bundled them into bricks and used them as flooring so you could actually see as it went down almost like an ecological dig.

I'm using that word right? Yeah, right, that's amazing. You can see the years going back to the late 80s. But he's clean, shaven. He's wearing like clean, relatively new clothes. He doesn't smell, but he's never had a shower. Well, he, he, uh, sponge baths himself. There's a shower air at the camp.

Yeah, okay, he bathes. And he steals new himself. There's a shower air at the camp. Yeah, okay, he bathes. And he steals new clothes. Right. He steals soap, he steals disposable raises. Okay. He's expinded all to Finkel. And Finkel's like, I fully believe him. Vance also says, my job is figuring out

what criminals are lying to me. And I just believe this guy. So, but then a lot of other people say he is foolish. There's no way. Because it's really, really cold, isn't it? Well, yes, at the coldest, it gets to negative 20 Fahrenheit, which is nearly negative 30 Celsius. No, thank you.

Like, temperatures that I've never experienced. It's been about 15 here this week, and I'm'm like it's too cold. It is so cold. It's so hot. I've heard we call it. My nipples are erect right now. I'm inside and what is it? 10 degrees. Yeah. Thank you for giving me the jumper. I'll do your gonna say thank you for giving me that image. I don't know. I'm always welcome information about your nips. I reckon no, I'm alright. We're on nips. I'm alright. We're on our way to see you there.

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The cam sight was on private property only a few hundred feet from the nearest cabin. But it was in the perfect spot concealed by thick bush and boulders. A few hundred feet from a cabin. And they had no idea it was there. Yeah. So they don't even go for a walk when they're at the cabin. I think they do, but it's just such thick scrub that you just can't, it's so well hidden. Hence you can't lie to fire. Yeah, that's right. You notice a fire, a couple hundred feet away. Yeah. Finkle visited the camp a few months after the arrest. He described it like this. My goodness, which I felt like,

I'm all of a sudden I'm picturing Dave Warnocky riding this. Oh, my goodness. That's such a Warnocky phrase. My goodness. Chris had carved from the chaos, a bedroom-sized clearing completely invisible from a few steps away. Situated on a slight rise that allowed enough breeze

to keep the mosquitoes away. That's another thing. So it gets brutally cold, but the insects are full on at other times of the year. So it sounds like it's very, there's a few parts of the year where it's paradise, and then the rest of the time, there's something that would just make me go nuts.

Why not steal like a really big tent? You know, you can get those ones that are like three rooms. They have like a living room in them. Get one of those. That's kind of what he's created with tops and stuff. It's a huge like the photos of it. It's like this is a huge place. He's got a tent to sleep in. He's also stolen a bed frame for his mattress. Like he's living pretty comfortably. Wow. Get one of those heated blankets. Yeah. It was surrounded by a natural stone hedge of boulders. Overhead tree branches linked to former trellis-like canopy

that masked his sight from the air. This is why Chris' skin was so pale. He'd lived in perpetual shade. I ended up staying there three nights as Finkel. Why? Watching the rabbits by day. I'm really sorry. Well, this was a scape down to me. I'm sorry. Why did he stay there? Watching the rabbits by day Oh my god This is Cape Danube

Why did he stay there? I think I guess he's a journalist right? You know you were you started journalism So you do you get in there you find the story You live it you breathe it He watched the rabbits by day at night picking out a few stars behind the scrim of branches It was as gorgeous and peaceful a place as I had ever spent time. He loved it. He thought it was amazing. But that wasn't during the day. He went there during summer in the ideal time to be there.

By the time Finkel visited the site, the police had cleared much of night setup. But from photos and talking to night, Finkel paints a pretty vivid picture saying, he slept in a simple camping tent, which he covered by several layers of brown tarps. Camouflage he felt was essential. He didn't want to risk anything shiny catching someone's eye. So he spray painted in foresty colors, his garbage bins and his coolers and his cooking pot.

He even painted his clothes, pins, green. So he had a clothes line. He's got a cooking pot. He's got a cooking pot. He's still on my pots and pans. My big question there is garbage bins. Is he taking out the trash? Is he recycling?

He's got his own landfill area. So, and Finkel goes through it. That would be evidence that you've been afraid of too, wouldn't it? Yeah, exactly. He had a kitchen area which he cooked on a stall on two burner stove, which is why I needed to seal so many propane tanks. Though he has said that, quote, cooking is too kind of word for what I did.

His diet never evolved, this sounds a bit like you too, Dave. His diet never evolved from the one he had when he was a 20-year-old. Finker went through the campsites buried rubbish, uncovering amongst other things, quote, a five-pound tub that once held marshmallow fluff, an empty box of devil dogs, peanut butter, cheetos, honey, graham crackers, cool whip, tuna fish, coffee, tater tots, pudding, soda, El Monterey, spicy, jalapeno, chimichangas, and on and on and on.

It's a little ghetto. It's just like a real uni student diet. Despite nights, sickly diet, he swears he never got sick. To get cold or flu, you need to have interaction with other people. And he avoided that for 27 years. Oh yeah, that's pretty amazing. Only twice in all that time did he have

brief interactions with people. Well, once when he walked past a hiker, and he was like, hi, that's all he said to them. And another time right towards the end of the 27 years when some fishermen stumbled upon him, and he said to them. And another time, right towards the end of the 27 years, when some fishermen stumbled upon him, and he had to be like, hey, I'm trying to not be known out here and they made a deal that they wouldn't tell anyone. So yeah, that was the only two very brief.

And they also follow through and didn't tell anyone. And he apparently, he didn't really talk to himself, so he just hardly spoke. So he had to almost re- relearn how to speak once he was caught. So that also sort of tells you why I was so quiet once he was busted. Did he write anything down? No. He said that's he said he wanted to take all his thoughts with him to the grave. He expected a never come out. And if he ever came out, it would only be by force, which is what happened. So he didn't necessarily know, like I suspected before, like that people

were aware of him. Exactly. He didn't know that. Yeah. So he was there, everyone around him. He must have known that they were, you know, he was making so many robberies. He's estimated about 40 a year, which equals over a thousand break-ins over his time, which makes Finkelsay probably one of the biggest burglars of all time in Maine. If you can't, you know, amount of times for a game, not the amount of stuff he stole because it's normally amounted like 18 bucks or. And totally, like, it makes sense

that he's not taking jewelry and expensive stuff because he's got no use for it. He's going to sell it. Exactly. But he also, he tried in his mind he had a moral code. So he'd still things, but he'd be thinking about the people. Great.

For those talking, think about that disabled school obviously. Yeah, that's sort of stuff. His younger sister, who he said, when he was asked, did he miss his family, said he missed some of them sometimes. But his younger sister down syndrome. So like it's not like he wouldn't have had any empathy. And he was the relative he missed the most. Because she was the sibling closer to him in age. Yeah. Yeah. He hung out with the most as a child. And well, I don't know, I don't know. Jump ahead too much. But did you reconcile with the family at all?

I'll get to it all. Yeah, that's so interesting, isn't it? Because I assume that they think he's probably dead. Yeah. So he's only real angry, so I found that fascinating, he never got sick 27 years. Locals are like, bull shit.

Bullshit, we get sick all the time. I think they just, they were hurt by him. Totally. He freaked him out for a quarter of a century so they hate him a lot of them do they're not reacting logically they're reacting emotionally yeah like fuck this guy uh Finkel is sitting in the book somewhere he's like if if you they took it personally if you believed his story yeah yeah yeah because that means you don't believe them his only real ailment was that his teeth were in a bad way,

which isn't surprising considering his life. Though he did brush his teeth every day, but obviously he didn't make it to the dentist. So I didn't go for 10 years and I had to have very expensive surgery. So yeah, his teeth are probably no good. Now I go every six months. Nice.

Found a dentist who doesn't scare me. So like I said before, we had a bathroom area which he kept stock with stolen toilet paper and hand sanitizer. He also had a laundry area. One of the guys who suggested this topic did so because of how the world in lockdown is like this might be a good topic for this guy

did lockdown for a long time. So many things happen and you just didn't know about it. Well, that's not quite true either. Oh, did he keep still newspapers? It sounds like he really had everything he needed. Finkel writes, he stole deodorant, disposable razors, flashlights, snow boots, spices,

mouse traps, spray paint and electrical tape. He took pillows off beds, he kept three different types of thermometers in camp, digital mercury and spring loaded, knowing the exact temperature was mandatory. He stole watches, he had to be sure while on a raid that he could return to camp before daybreak. That was one of his rules, he was almost like a vampire, only was out at night time. He had bags stashed on the edge of camp with a second tent other supplies so that he could make a getaway if his camp was ever discovered. Like he

was fully committed to escaping the world. To pass the time he would read books, he would basically read whatever he could get his hands on during his raids, magazines, novels, nonfiction, and he read a lot. Like he sounds like he read hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of books. What would you do with the books? I'd do paper more, yeah. Yeah, I don't know, because the magazine's he turned into bricks. I'm not sure what he did with the books. I imagine, yeah, imagine he kept them in some way, because he'd never returned anything. Yeah. He also stole radios and like listening to Talkback radio, including Rush Limba, or yeah,

who's like a conservative talkback host. He also listened to Love Listening to Music. He enjoyed classical music, but loved classic rock. He had strong opinions on all this stuff. Honestly, if people are up for an audio book or a book, there's way more color and extra information that I don't have time to go into. But yeah, thoughts on which classical composers were worth his time and which weren't and

all this sort of stuff, right? Right, you've got endless time. I've got endless time, but not in this episode. Do I? I thought you said you had someone to be. Didn't you say you got to move house later? All right. Now I'm going to go into alphabetically what he thought about all the classic. How can he be fussy? Like that's not worth my time. Well, I'm sorry him. I thought you meant me. Damn it. I'm so defensive. I'm actually.

I'm doing this for you actually. So he loved classical music, or he enjoyed classical music, but he loved classic rock. That was where I was at, Akadakka and all that sort of stuff, especially Leonard Skinock. According to Finkel, he had all this, like he sounded almost like a, even though he was never, never studied university, sort of sounded like an academic the way he talked about books and stuff. Much like how I sound. Oh, books and stuff. But he said that he never had more praise for anything than he did for Leonard Skinnet. Quote, they will be playing Leonard Skinnet songs in a thousand years. That is definitely not true, Christopher. Not.

Oh, honey. That's cute. He had a TV, even for a while, a little black and white portable TV, but he found it drained too much power from his batteries. This is obviously he needed the batteries for radios and those sort of things. He was very handy with the batteries, able to rig them all up for his various needs. when he gave TV away He found a way to listen to the TV on the radio His favorite programs being Seinfeld and everybody loves Ray That's a lot of it. That's pretty much sounds hilarious

Imagine like you just hearing the applause and the crowd in the frame as we don't know what All right something there's happened. Knights' whole year was planned around surviving the harsh winters. And they were harsh. Like I said before, they got as low as negative 20 Fahrenheit around negative 30 degrees Celsius. Crazy.

Summer was the busiest time for holiday makers at the North pond. So as they started leaving at the end of the season, night got to work. It was his busiest time of the year. The first thing on his to-do list was to fatten himself up for the cold. I gorge myself on sugar and alcohol, he said. It's the quickest way to gain weight. From the bowl.

And I like the inebriation. He was too young to go to bars when he went bush and it probably wasn't his scene anyway and his eccentric taste in alcohol probably reflects this. Finkle, Finkle, Finkle listed some of the empty bottles he found at the camp including, Alan's coffee-flavored brandy, Seagrams escapes strawberry daiquiri and something called whipped chocolate valley vines. And on the label it said, fine chocolate whipped cream red wine. Oh!

Oh! Yuck! What a wild combo. No thank you. Maybe chocolate and whipped cream. Sure, red wine by itself, okay. What a wild combo. Well together, no thank you.

Mmm. Whipped cream with red wine. I'd love to get something that could curdle with the wine, please. Do you have anything in the curdling sort of area? I have something to sit in my stomach and just kind of gurgle for a while. As the temperature started to go south, he grew his beard out to help insulate his face. Through the rest of the year, he would stay clean-saving with the help of the and razors. And part of that was if you ever got caught or if you ever stumbled upon someone, they'd be like, oh he's just some holiday. He also made more regular raids during this time. So this is busy time. Post summer leading up to the winter. Making sure he

had as much food and propane as possible for the winter. Night was so careful about remaining hidden that he never left a footprint behind, meaning once the snow started to fall in November, he rarely left his camp as it would be impossible to get around without leaving tracks in the snow. He stayed bunkered down for the following five months, ish. Finkle asked night if he went into some sort of human hibernation and slept through a lot of those months, but night replied completely wrong. Next question. It's dangerous to sleep too long in winter.

During the coldest months, night would sleep from 7.30pm to 2am, with being a work and by an alarm. This meant that he would be awake through the coldest part of the day, saying, if you try and sleep through that kind of cold, you might never wake up. At 2am, he'd walk around his camp and try to get the blood flowing. He'd also melt some snow on his stove, which would become his drinking water for the day.

He had stolen great winter gear, but was never able to get his feet to fully thaw, though he never lost any toes to frostbite. If things weren't tough enough, some winters he ran out of food whilst bunkered down. These were brutal times. Knight described it as quote, physical, emotional, and psychological pain.

Imagine that cold, no food. It's just an absolute nightmare. So all he did was try and hang on. He just hang on, or maybe he'd listen to the radio for a snow report. And if he knew snow was coming, he'd get out and do a quick raid knowing that the fresh snow would cover his tracks. So maybe he'd have to wait for days or who knows how long before the conditions would be right.

The cash he found, the cash that was found on him when he was arrested was stolen a couple of dollars at a time during his raids. It was some sort of backup plan. There was a store where he could buy food not too far away, but if he didn't use it then when he was out of food he'd never would and he never did. So that's why some of it was old and moldy because he'd had it for 27 years sitting in the same wallet that was out there in the elements. Yeah. But according to Finkel, quote,

when he heard the song of the chickadees, he told me he could finally relax. That alerted me that Winters starting the lesson at grip, that the end is near, that spring is coming, and I'm still alive. Whoa. Finkel goes on, the cold never got easier. All his winter camping expertise felt offset by advancing age.

Quote, you should have seen me in my 20s he boasted, I was Lord of the woods. I ruled the land I walked upon. I was tough and clever. I love that, I love that confidence. But then you just got older and it was just tough over you. But over time, like an aging athlete,

his body began to break down. The biggest issue was his eyesight. For the last 10 years, anything beyond an arm's length was a blur. I used my ears more than my eyes. If he saw a pair of glasses during a break in, he always tried them on, but was unable to find a better prescription.

His agility faded, bruises took longer to heal, his teeth constantly hurt. Sound to me, it sounds like it would have been a relief to get busted, but. I reckon the only downside, because surely he's going to go to prison, and therefore he's going to be surrounded by people, and that would be his worst nightmare. But you get fed, you get a bed, you don't have to try and survive winter. You know? What a pros. Yeah, that's right.

And I think maybe begrudgingly accepted some of those eventually, but he hated it first. All this came to an end on April the 4th, 2013, when Game Ward and Terry Hughes caught him at the Pantry Camp. Based on the timing, Knight must have just been coming out of his winter hibernation. You'd be like, couldn't this have happened at the end, you know, just pre-winter? Yeah. Shouted. Night was obviously unable to make bail. The moldy notes weren't enough. So he remained behind bars while his crimes were investigated and his court date was set. Within days of his time at Canterback County Jail, he caught an awful head cold, his first in over 27 years. Because his immunity was... Yeah, so low.

But apparently after that his immunity caught up and he didn't really get sick much after that. He got a new pair of glasses, again his first in over 27 years. So you could sort of like see again. He would've had headaches from straining all this time. And then you'd get new glasses and you'd have a bit of a headache to adjust to that

and then smooth sailing. It feels like he'd be better off just getting rid of the glasses altogether at some point. Yeah, probably. But I should say I'm not an optometrist. Okay, thank you. I think he'd be better off just removing his eyes altogether. Yeah, get rid of him.

Who needs him? He's got ears now. He's got ears now. He became a Batman. He had he always had him Dave. He had ears. He hated jail, but was a model prisoner. He grew out his beard almost almost to play. Yeah, it was it was on the jail calendar. Oh my god, check out Mark. Oh, Mr. November. So he grew out his beard almost like he was playing the role of the hermit that everyone expected of him, but he also sort of saw as a bit of a mask.

You know, he did, you know, he, like you said, he didn't want to be around all these people, so he grew out the mask as some sort of a buffer. He assumed both of his parents would have died while he was in the woods, though he found out the while, while he was in there, his father passed away 12 years earlier, but his mother, Joyce Knight, was still alive then into her 80s. Wow. His mother held out hope that her son was alive throughout it all, and his brother's humidor, so they all assumed him to be dead.

Oh my God. They say stuff like, oh, he's probably on an adventure in Texas. He's having a great time, mum. Yeah, he's all right. And then looking at each other like, he's definitely dead. The family possibly hired a private investigator to try and track him down, but that hasn't been confirmed.

They're very private. They won't talk to Finkel. Wow. That was your live in the forest. But they never reported him missing to police. Quote, culturally, my family is old Yankee, night told Finkel. We're not emotionally bleeding all over each other.

We're not touchy-feely. Stoicism is expected. That's why I guess that's why they didn't report a misnil to a police. They're like, we don't rely on you, we're self-sufficient. He asked the police to not contact his mother when he got out. He was ashamed of his criminal behavior. The police agreed, but the story was so big that it was only a matter of time before she found out. He was ashamed of his criminal behavior. The police agreed, but the story was so big that it was only a matter of time before she found out. So he eventually allowed them to contact her. Apparently when Troop advanced called, she was at first in shock, then mad about

the crimes. His mother, and then said, at my age, that's a lot to take in. You're not wrong, Joyce. So your son's alive, He's been a criminal for 27 years. Harding in the bushes. Any questions? I carry. OK. I'm getting in a moment. That's a little bit taken.

Which son? Not Ron. I'm sorry. I mean, other way. You're telling me he was leaving in a forest? I went to his house for lunch. What? Who's house? Who's that? No? No, Christopher. Oh, yeah. Oh, I thought it was in Texas. I

night didn't allow his mum to visit saying, look at me. I'm in my prison clothes. That's not how I was raised. I couldn't face her. He wasn't raised in prison clothes. Surprising. It feels brutal though. I don't want her to visit me. Yeah, that's all right. But he also said, I, he was doing it to protect her. He didn't think she'd be able to take it. It'd be a lot to take in. Two of his brothers. It's just because he was wearing orange. It just wasn't in his color. It wasn't in his way. I wouldn't let my mom see me in orange. That's for sure. It's a dough look at me. Two of his brothers, Joel and Tim did visit.

The night admitted I didn't recognise him. Not wrong though. He didn't recognise him. That's sad. On October 28th, 2013, Christopher Knight appeared in Canterback County Superior Court, pleading guilty to 13 counts of burglary and theft. Based on Knight's maths, he committed over a thousand robberies in the 27 years he was living as a hermit, but they're only able to make 13 counts

stick due to statutes of limitations and lack of evidence. Shit. According to Fankle, Finkle, he was sentenced to seven months in jail. He'd already served all but a week of this, waiting for his case to be resolved. The sentence was far more lenient than it could have been, though even the prosecutor said

a long-term prison term seemed cool in this case. Chris was ordered to meet with a judge every Monday and avoid alcohol, and either find a job or go to school. If you violated these terms, you could be sent to prison for seven years. Despite all the music and reading and everybody loves Raymond, the number one thing night spent his time doing was nothing. It's way like sign for it, I guess. And when Finkel asked night about the nothingness, he had some interesting things to say. Quote, first, he was never for a moment in all 27 years bored He was never lonely

He said that he felt almost the opposite of that he said he felt utterly and intricately connected to everything else in the world It was difficult for him to tell where his body ended and the woods began He said he felt this utter communion with nature and the outside world. I mean, that's mainly because he couldn't see anything. Ha ha ha ha. According to an article in The Atlantic, the forest granted him freedom, privacy and serenity, and it transformed his brain. He developed photographic recall,

a proclivity for deep contemplation, and a limitless attention span. That's something that Finkel said, he just remembered every line of every book he read. He just seemed to be utter, and he said, I don't have photographic memory, but to Finkel it seemed like he did. Yeah. And one of the thoughts is that it was just having all that time,

but basically expanded his brain. Wow. And Finkel's book goes into this sort of stuff I already explores, hermits, and what being alone and peace and quiet can just remember me. I remember every shit I took in every whole I dug. Each of them different, especially in their own way. He didn't feel good about re-entering the world,

but he had to by court order. And he said, you know, he agreed, he wouldn't go back to the criminal life. He wasn't allowed to go back to the bush and he didn't. He moved back into his childhood bedroom and worked for his brother for food and rent. He hated how the world had changed saying, I don't like what I see in the society I'm about to enter. I don't think I'm going to fit in.

It's too loud, too colorful, the lack of aesthetics, the crudeness, the inanities, the trivia. So he sounds like, yeah, that's like, I mean, anyone who hated society before isn't gonna like, like thinking the world's too modern and fast paced in the 80s, is gonna hate it now, obviously. Apparently someone said,

it's great, you can have this phone, you can do so much stuff, be hated to let stuff, he's like, people are have this phone, you can do so much stuff. Be hated all that stuff. He's like, people are using their computers to listen to music. There's like a thousand dollar computer and you're basically using it to listen to the radio. And he goes, people are texting on their phones. It's basically an expensive telegram machine. It's like we're moving backwards. So what's your point? Do you want us

to look like he's complaining about everything? It's funny we're moving backwards. So what's your point? Do you want us to look like he's complaining about everything? It's funny that he's sort of complaining about it and talking about everyone else, like the audience, but like listening to it, you're like, yeah. Yeah, I know, Dickhead. Yeah, that's the point. Yeah, I know, is that an interesting thing? You'd think he'd be like that.

Oh, it's going back to sort of you don't have to talk on the feed. Apparently during prison, he never called anyone. He didn't want to speak on the phone. He never really liked phones anyway. Wow. Interesting. Yeah. Well, that's pretty much the end of the report. There's obviously a lot of detail color and that sort of stuff that I, I've recommended a few times, but yeah, Mickey the Fink. Mickey Fink's book. So good. Amazing. And so he's just still living a normal life then. Yeah well I mean this is only a few years ago now, it's just six years he rented society and so

amazing. So as I know he's he's he's keep you know he's sort of keeping a low profile life. How old would he be now? I don't know if 50's sort of mid 50's. Far out. What a wild story. Many shoe can I just say I mean, it's a huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, But because if I went to the woods though, I'd remember every lawn of it. I remember it all. Yeah. Because I don't know how you feel about it, but during reading it, apart from the winter stuff, I'm like, that's fucked. But a lot of it, I'm like, I love the idea of this. I reckon I could do it, just go live out in the bush and buy myself forever.

Or for a long stretch, I think I would really enjoy that. So you'd enjoy a camping holiday. I myself for years. You need two weeks of a big four and you'll be right. You just carry in parks, or? I'm telling you, you need two weeks of big four. Let me tell you. Let me tell you.

Big trouble, I got a barbecue area. I got everything you need. Fuck, Dave, that's so funny. Well, it is now time, I guess, for the fact, quote or question section, which is what a lot of people say is the best part of the show. I don't know if I agree necessarily.

I think it's an equal best part of the show. But yeah, unfortunately, the listeners are very adamant. This is the best part of the show. I mean, some say bring it to the top of the show, but we refuse. So the way you get involved in this is if you go to patreon.com slash do go on pod and you get on the Sydney Shamburg Deluxe Memorial Rest and Peace Package

edition level and you get to give us a fact to quote our question. You also get to give us a title for yourself. There's a bunch of different awards on this level, including you get to vote for the topic. This week's topic was voted for by the Sinishanberg level people in a landslide. Come and just say they, that shows very well.

That was great. But before we shut out to a first person, we haven't done the theme song, The Jingle. Oh, my god. That's how the jingle't done the theme song, the jingle. Oh, so, oh my god. It does have a jingle, doesn't it? How does the jingle go? Fat, clad all questions. Ding!

Thank you for remembering that, because I was just like, yeah, all right, here we go. It just doesn't feel official unless we hear that ding. These people would probably ask us to do it again. So you're more about the ding than there? No, that's the end of the theme song, which signals now it's time for. I don't know how I should get about the ding. Ha ha ha ha. That's one of my favorites. You bring it on the theme song, which signals now it's time for. I don't know how to forget about the ding. That's one of my favorite.

You bring it on its clothes. Yeah, I love it. You get about the ding. So the first fact-quadal questioner is David Molowski, a place to hang your cape. He has a website all about superheroes and whatnot. Yes, we've met him in London a couple of times. And that's a chap. Lovely chap.

I also went for chap He's given himself the title tipped-itch club president brackets pending election Oh, I like that putting himself forward. I love the nomination giving yourself the normal presidential candidates Yeah, love that at this stage front runner. Yeah, but I love the spin on it. Yeah, no, I am I'm just awaiting Yeah, but I love the spin on it. Yeah. No, I am. I'm just awaiting election. He's given us a question and it reads,

Thusley, people, long term listeners will know that I don't read these out till I read them out. Here I go. Firstly, some official business that I love that from the press. As of March the 18th episode, the TripDitch Club finally has a quorum to begin electing an executive board as laid out in the club charter of 1966. Very good year. I would like to use this opportunity

to announce my campaign for club president. My platform as a simple one as club president. I promise to add GoldTrim and personalized names onto the club smoking jackets and in addition to Margarita Wednesdays, we will also be adding a weekly bottle of champagne for each member. Geez, buying votes. I love that. A weekly bottle of champagne. It's pretty good.

I guess this is his slogan. A vote for me is a vote for bubbles. Oh, I love that. Could be confusing for chimpanzee fans out there, but. Doesn't say a lot for politics. He's just like, let's get drunk and wear cool jackets. Well have I talked to you about this before in when I was in year seven and the year 12's we're putting themselves forward to be voted as school captain as it was at that time I think

teachers later chose who was going to be because one guy said if you vote for me I'll grow on our fro everyone voted for. He grew an afro and he was cool character. That was his platform. That's bad. So after that, yeah, the teacher started nominating. The teachers have the final say. Both of me, I'll grow an afro. Yep. I mean, I got leadership skills. I don't actually give a shit about the position. I probably won't turn up to school most days, but I'll have an afro when I do. Great af row though. Now, so this is question. Inspired by the coronavirus binge buying, so that funny, I wanted to ask, what's your

binge buy? And I don't mean toilet paper. Mine was Reese's chocolate Easter eggs. I binge buy them even when the world isn't going crazy. What's the one thing you can't run out of? I know this for Dave. Well, it's two for me. Which I already had a large stock of, which was baked beans.

Yeah. Fortunately, they last a long time. And the other thing was, which I don't often have that often at home, is frozen pies. Because usually I'll go and get one, but with lots of bakeries closing, it's actually a lot harder to get your hands on a good quality meat pie at the moment. So that's why stocked up. I've got a few packets for the freezer. Mine's so boring. I just can't run out of coffee pods Or milk so that I can have the coffee. No, I said you get long life just in case. Oh good call. No

I have always been able to get milk. Okay, sorry to brag but I've been able to find milk every time. Nice Yep but I've been able to find milk every time. Nice. Yep, you've got a good, you've got a great nose for milk. There's been a pretty solid stash of chocolate. Like, I don't run out of chocolate before I buy more chocolate, you know? Right. Which I normally don't do.

But this time, it's like, well, we can't not have that. Hey, yeah. I need that. Mine's probably pasta, bags of pasta. Yeah, good one. I've never run out of pasta before getting more pasta. Yeah Love variety. I'll go through phases different kinds different shapes. What's the top of the list at the moment at the moment

I'm on these little real tiny little tubes You know that you get the big tubes and the pen a tubes Yeah, which are just like tubes cut on an angle. These are the real tiny little like macaroni. It's almost like macaroni but it's not. But like straight macaroni. Yeah, it's like a little bit longer than macaroni. Yeah, okay. That sounds, yeah, I like small stuff like that. Yeah. I get it. And then sometimes I love big stuff, like big shells or big spirals. Yeah, I love big rigatoni. Oh, big rig. Yeah. I love a big rig. I love a big rig. Yeah, I'm a big rig. Thank you so much for your question. Good question. And for your

your pitch for you, we'll put you forward, but we can't do any vote. We can't be no, I don't think we vote and we can't be seen to be influencing. Yeah, that's yeah it's a much more Australian sort of system where everyone just gets one equal vote unlike the the confusing American system which I have not got my head around with their colleges and their super delegates. I'm know some of these phrases I don't fully have my head around it. I think it's supposed to be based on population but. Right. Well that's how Australia does that kind of with the Senate then. Yes, right. Yeah. But that's also trying to be.

No, that's not population though. that's just making all the states... All the states have equal set. Yeah. In the upper half. Not so much. Yeah. Which is one of the carrots where they have tried to encourage Northern Territory to become a state

and they didn't want to. They're like, you'll get more senators. Like, yeah. So. But Northern Australia sounds shitty. But we want that out of far worse stuff. We'll have to have more of your rules Thank you so much a place hang your cape a.k. David Milofsky I'd also love to thank Dan Peterson Who's giving himself the title everyone's number one best friend?

Jesus, that sounds exhausting. Yeah So many best man speeches. Yeah, so many. Well, you're the number one best man I know. What do you mean best man three times? You mean it grooms men even more than that? Yeah. You are.

Have you lost count? You're a good friend. No, I'm a best man. You're only going to need to tell me at least three, right? Yeah, three times best man. I think seven times groomsmen. Amazing. Seven times best and ferocious. My first time as a bride's maid, maid of honor.

So it's all downhill from here. I don't have that many friends. I work my way up from the outside of the, on the LTNA, yeah, yeah, I start on the outside now. I'm here. Clod your way in. But anyway, and I'm top of that,

he also have to be doing all these body funeral speeches. What do they call them? Eulogies. Eulogies. I'd like to make a funeral speech, please, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, bit of shush plays, bit of shush, making a funeral speech. But it's another question from Dan. And Dan asks, one of my favorite episodes was the report on the Montreal screwdriver.

Thank you so much. It was a fantastic story. If you were a professional wrestler, what would you call your signature move? Oh, okay. Cheesy've almost already got a rock Johnson style elbow-looking thing. Is that something he did? He used to lick his elbow and then... No, he did the people's elbow.

Right. Which involved running around the ring and then sort of dropping his elbow onto the person. That's right, yes. But there was a big wind up to it. Lots of them and the audience knew it and they'd do it with him. Yeah, maybe I could be the people's liquor of elbows. Yeah.

The wet elbow. Yeah. I'm giving him the wet elbow. Oh, I just lick the microphone by accident. Oh God, I'm in my elbow. In this climate. Oh God. Don't lick anything. What about my elbow? One of my best ever tweets, I don't think it got much love, was everyone knows about Drayne the Rock Johnson's people elbow, but what people don't realize, the other elbow was a bit of a recluse That's funny. That's funny. That's funny. That's funny. That's funny. But is your move the people's recluse? I don't know what would you do Jess. There's a wrestling move. Yeah. I'll be also zoned out for a sec there so I had to

piece it together based on Dave's explanation. Oh yeah we've been asked for our signature wrestling move. Got it. Just to give you a bit more time to think about it, Stone Cold Steve Austin, he had the stunner, that was my favorite. I would do a cartwheel and on the way down, kick him twice in the head. What do you call that? That cartwheel. Cartwheel kick. Kick wheel.

Kick wheel. That's sick. Alright, I'm just going to, first encounter my mind. Pig's nipple. The pig's nipple. Yeah, now if you know resting better than me, what would that be? Well, obviously you're a bad guy. Yeah.

I'm not interested. You're a heel. Can you just still think about your nipples? I guess so. And pigs. The pig's nipple. I think what you do is like you get your nose or Your snout if you will and you rub it on their nipple and sniff and make this noise

Until they go, oh, I'm out. Please stop. This is this is literally disgusting. Oh wow Literally disgusting me. I feel literally disgusting Oh, and then they vomit. Oh, they slip in the vomit. You pen them done. The pig's nipple. Dave, that is so brilliant. Tell that I'm a big wrestling fan. Yeah, again. I know a little lingo. It's beautiful. I'd love to thank a few other patrons if I may. I'd love you to kick this off. Before I should say thanks so much Dan. Fantastic question. Thank you Dan. Hopefully these were satisfying answers. Like kick wheels. Of course, kick wheels, Fentonism, brilliant.

The people's looking elbow. The wet elbow. Yeah. Well bow. Oh, here he is. Oh, it's the elbow. Yeah, I'm trying to pick nipples a bit clumsy. What about Pig Nip?

Pig Nip. He's gone in for a big nap. Yeah, there he goes. Oh, look at that, because you could be like a real redneck type. Look at that ball go. Yeah. Yeah.

What do we know? Especially with that hair. Yeah, I mean. Just everything about you. Why be it, I'd be in a stride. I'm not doing an accent. Yes, you are. You're Joe Dirt.

No, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be Aussie Matt Stewart. Something cool like that. That's my stage now. Aussie Stewart. Yeah. Oh, they get going to be Aussie Matt Stewart. Something cool like that. That's my stage now. Aussie Stewart. Yeah. Oh, they get you to do something like down under Dingo Diver. You know, the Dingo Diver's in.

What about they get you to do like, your move would be called like the crocodile hunter or something. Yeah. And you just hunt for their deer. I was thinking that too. Which is all I was thinking to say it. I was thinking to say it. The thinking the saying. I was thinking the saying, the cockatoll. Let me find it.

The cockatoll. I mean, there's a great porn parody talker up. Cockatoll, don't do. Must exist. All right, but I'd love to thank a few other Patreons who are involved at the at a different level. It's the shout out level. The shout out level.

You can see if you got a Patreon.com slash do you go on pod. We're going back through a few that we've missed due to the Clumsy System on Patreon. When you saw it by date, it would be a little bit different every week. Yeah, it's fun. But I would love to thank someone who's been waiting patiently since 2018 from Berlin in Deutschland. It's Silke Westendorf. Or Westendorf. Probably Silke Westendorf. David, you're the German of the German. A Westendorf.

Silke Westendorf. That's beautiful. What an amazing name. Incredible. Have you ever given us a game yet, Jess? No, so I was thinking a location that they would hurt me to. Oh, where would you hermit to?

Yeah. What do you mean? Location they go to and what item they would take, for example, a sugar bowl. Oh, right. So where are you going? And what are you taking? Yeah, love that. So from Berlin. All right. So is he getting out to the... Oh, shit, I don't know. Sook. Getting out to the German countryside. Maybe somewhere... I know, this is a fairway away from Berlin,

but maybe somewhere in the Black Forest. Oh, that sounds great. That sounds nice. And what's the cake there? There is cake there. It's a cake forest. What's the cake for us? Cake knife. They'll steal from a local house, they will steal a box, like a wooden box

that inside of it had marbles. And the person they stole from would get the nickname, marble box. And they'd walk around and go, oh, I I lost my mouth. Oh, we know. You lost your mouth, it was a long time ago. Thank you, silke. That's the marble box vestendor. Incredible. I'd also love to thank from Jersey in Great Britain, Charlie Reeve or Rive.

Oh, Charlie Rive. Charlie Rive. Charlie has arrived. From the Channel Island. Yeah, we're cool. Whereabouts are where are they getting off to? Moving to a different Channel Island. Oh, maybe like an unoccupied one that no one's discovered somehow. That makes sense. Yeah. That makes sense. What are they taking with them? Are are they stealing? Uh, some Polaroid film. Oh. But no camera, so it's quite useless. Yeah, but they're still shaking it, you know?

Yeah, it's the blood flowing in winter. Who knows? But not. Shake it like a Polaroid push-out. Who knows? Is it going to come up? Imagine if it did, that'd be terrifying. I'm shaking it for years.

That'd be so scary for photo camera. That's a great horror film premise. Yeah. Someone shaking a film for years. That's the first hour and a half. May I thank some people as well? I would love it so much if you did. Thank you so much, Charlie.

Thank you, Charlie. Thank you so much, Sid Gay. I would love to thank, from Rhodes and New South Wales, Kayla Atkins. Oh, Kayla Atkins. Fantastic word, Kayla. Kayla Atkins is going to... Er... is going to hermit in orange in New South Wales.

Oh, yeah, fantastic. Because if you trust all of orange, no one will notice you. Exactly. As a fact, I read this week, the original oranges, when orange, they're green. What? It's up because when for Sprouts, it is green and then goes orange. They remain, they remain green. But they're so big. They remained green. But they were still big.

Cool. Because you know, navels are like a, they're a sort of a freak. They're like a mutant orange. And they're all, they're all navel-orange trees come from the same tree. And they're all off-cuts from the same tree. And they, they're like infertile. So that's why they all have to go back from the same tree. And they're all off-cuts from the same tree. And they're just like infertile. So that's why they all have to go back from that same tree. You can't grow more Naval Orange Trees

from a Naval Orange or anything. I didn't go back to that. There's one original tree there still. Yeah, well, I guess they've got multiple cuttings from up, but they're all traced back to that one tree, I believe. Or something like that. That is incredible. And you know, like they have at that,

almost like a mini orange inside Naval Orange's. Sometimes they get different size, but something like that. That is incredible. And you know, like they have at that, that almost like a mini orange and side, naval oranges. Sometimes they get different sizes, but there's that, that's part of the mutation. That's crazy. What's the mini orange and side? I don't eat enough oranges. Oh, the naval's a fantastic.

They're the best eating oranges. I love oranges. I don't know why I don't eat them. I can just eat an orange. Just get one on the way down. The lens is about adducing oranges, but the naval's for eating. You can't top them.

I should start eating oranges. Anyway, thank you to Kayla. What does Kayla steal? Orange. From orange. From orange. The evil oranges. Right, but she wanted to juice.

Naval tree clippings, and she keeps trying to plant new trees from the seeds, but it ain't working because she hasn't learnt that fact. Until now, she should be move like she'll be a Gap somewhere her god will be a gate these people listening on tiny little transistor radios Yeah, they're in the hermitine away. I think that she went to orange seeing that as the mecca of orange. Yeah, of course sadly It was not the becase so thank you very much to Kayla. I would also love to thank you if I may from Regina SK in Canada. I'm guessing

Canada. Is that Saskatoon? No, Saskatchewan is the place. Saskatchewan. I would love to thank Clayton Bender. Clayton Bender, fantastic. Where does Clayton go? Well, I love that name Clayton Bender. He goes to the Dandy Nongs outside of Melbourne. Oh, beautiful. And I know it's a bit of a journey. He steals scones. He steals scones and a little tea, an ornate tea set.

Yeah, it's actually quite cute and quite cool. And the person he steals it from gets an nickname T-Pot. And they're stoked about that, because they run a T-shop. So it's perfect. That's a great nickname to a T-Pot. A-oy T-Pot. What are you looking at, T-Pot?

O-oy T-Pot. What's your fucking problem? You toilet shut it shut it shut your T-Pot toilet. Yeah, that's so good. I love that very much, Clayton. Clayton Bender, fantastic name. Come visit. We're not too far away, Clayton.

I know you're hermit shooting, so you probably won't. But you know, you could if you like. Jess, yeah, I think you might have missed someone there. Yeah, again, a couple, about three up from there. Claire, Ed? Maybe short for Claire Idris. See her? Yeah, that one.

It just says C see Id for me. That's why I skipped. Oh, right. Well, I'm not going to the email address. And that. Right. Sorry, I skipped that on purpose. Sorry, Claire.

You've been skipped on purpose. But we're going back to you now. Sorry. I was like, oh, that's not full. Claire might be actually slightly hermaturedish, as as it is because she hasn't given us an address, but yeah. What do you think Claire? What's Claire's go?

Claire Hermits in the Rocky Mountains. Oh, I've been looking for Finn's treasure. Yes. Oh, so good. And that's what she's told. That's Finn's treasure. Yes. Oh, so good. And that's what she said. That's how it started. Yes I thought started was just looking for Finn's treasure, and then she decided I'm just gonna stay here I could find it. Wow, so she's rich, but she doesn't she's not using it at all clear. I love I love your style I love that I love that energy job. Sorry. I skipped you on purpose. I could not read that fire across

Thank you so much clear. You want to have a crack at a couple here, David? I would love to. And the name is jumping out of me here, because it's next, but also because it's amazing. I'd like to thank all the way from Great Britain, Dylan, Harvey, Elvis, Humphrey. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.

Gracious. Cheers, named after Bob Dylan, Robert Harvey, Elvis Costello, and Humphrey B. Floubert, four of the greats. Incredible. Wow, fantastic Dylan. Thank you so much for your support. And I think Dylan is hiding the least populated place,

going around and tucked to cut. Yes. People doubt that he can survive the winters all the summers, but he's doing it. He's He's fine. He's thriving. He loves it. He loves it. He loves it when summer breaks like, oh, thank God. Oh, thank God it's only a month and 25. Some of these rays. Oh, that's, I love that sort of first.

And the item that he's taking is a large lasagna tray. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Ready. He's hoping to get some supplies yet to come across streets of past that are making a lasagna. But one day across the streets of pasta and make a lasagna But one day he'll achieve his dream of having a lasagna and Antarctica and he's absolutely left a burden behind for the man he saw it from Hey lasagna try LT get over here. Oh, I don't even like lasagna that much. I didn't miss it. I didn't miss it in here. Didn't replace it.

Whatever. Thanks so much, Dylan. Dylan, fantastic now. Thanks Dylan. Oh, now, finally like to think, from mine as rest in Victoria. Well, that sounds already sounds like it could be. Oh, because I don't know that, Tan. And I dig his rest.

Doesn't sound a little bit like you'd be hiding in an old gold mine. Oh, my dress. And that person would be Karen Loader. Karen Loader. Fantastic. It seemed like an action star yourself. Karen Loader. Karen Loader reporting for Julie. Hello, it's me Karen Loader.

All right, what we got. Yeah, I'm taking them out. That's right. Okay, loaders in town and bad guys are getting nervy. Karen, you've obviously bought your favourite stolen item. Whether you would have bought it, brought it with you. Well, I took it from Monk Dug. He didn't see me coming or going. He was out of the town. And I took his whole bookshelf. The whole thing.

How'd you get it out? I took the hinges off the door. You had to blow the bloody doors off. I had to blow the bloody door off. I never said I'd blow the bloody doors off, but I did. Because I don't tell people what I'm gonna do. Wow, Canada. You have a rich backstory, Canada. And then you sleep in a gold mine at night. Yeah. I don't tell people what I'm gonna do. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Plus if his heart rate gets to all he does or something he's a confusing character Like him in lock stock though

It's been emotional Fantastic well, thank you so much Karen Loda real tribute to you by doing your voice on the show Yeah, you're welcome for that and Yeah, well, that's all I think use and shout- out, but there are potentially a few more in the tripditch club Let me just check that but for the existing members and new members just they have a cocktail or an order today You better believe it. We're talking chocolate. We're talking whipped cream. We're talking red wine Oh, no! Don't make them drink it! Yeah, it turns out it's really nice So we're having that.

Oh, no. And then for snacks, we're going for sweet treats today. So there's just chocolate. And there's whipped cream. And little cubes of frozen red wine. Oh, delicious. We're melting you mouth. Wow, Dave, do you want to quickly explain what this club is?

This club is exclusively from members that have been supporting us on Patreon at the bonus level Oh bonus episode level or above I think a shout out above for three consecutive years so 36 straight months They've supported the show or more and we cannot tell you how surprising and appreciated that is yeah Yeah, yeah, it's lifetime membership absolutely. So you are inducted into the trip ditch club. There's snacks, there's canopage. People who aren't in the club can stand on the other side of Elvittrope and peer in. Yeah. But it's cold out there. Oh, it's beautiful. It's perfect temperature. Whatever your perfect temperature is, it's what it is inside the trip ditch. It's crazy. I don't know how we do it, don't ask.

And we're going to have a any music this week. I think we're going to have a Chris Isaac doing the acoustic set. Oh, better believe, baby, did a bad, bad thing. Y'all. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. How's he gonna do that acoustically? Bum, bum, bum. This one needs a little guitar. See? Ooh, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I ran, I didn't think so

I'm in a bad hope so I feel like crying Wapes I got a gun on his head he does not want to be performing Like cry have you tried crying? I craft me a will put a bullet in his head. He does not want to be performing. Is that it feel like crying? Have you tried crying? Oh, cry for me. Oh, we'll put a bullet in your head. That's a weird place. Like, come on down.

I'm going to enjoy it. You love Chris Arden. I mean, he isn't in the club, though. That's why I don't think it's pretty nice, as well. Yeah, we're not sure. We're not sure. After all that, do we have a new inductive? We have one in duck to see this way.

I think that's good, as Chris is not playing to no one. Well, everyone else, I mean, there's still tens of people who are already in the club. You know, Minglin having fun? Yeah, it's a good amount. It's not too crowded yet, but, you know, it's like enough for a vibe. Yeah. And this week, the one in DuckDees from Beaud Aced in Victoria, Australia, it's Sophie Waldron.

So, so I've welcomed to the club, great to have you in. Our official photographer. We'll be taking photos of Chris Isaac. Yeah, you will because I'll ask you to thanks for the support Thanks, so I feel this that's feel like we've known you a long time now We appreciate your ongoing support awesome so good all right Well, that pretty much brings us to the end of the episode anything else we need to talk about probably not really I think so this is the end of we don't have any more live streams to plug. They're done for the time being, but due to the great response of how we're already talking about doing it again sometime, feel free to let us know that that's a good idea or not. Yeah. But yeah, I've also I did a chat with Dave recently on my YouTube channel, youtube.com slash

Matt Stewart. If you want to check that out, it's called Matt Chat-Jess. Hope you're gonna do one with you coming up. Don't do it as a trap. Okay, thank you. How is it going to? I'm basically my generation's Michael Parkinson. Wow. I get people to really open up.

Yeah, and then you open up a vet. Why, you open up and then you roast you. Oh, you chat. It's like, I'll try to trauma, bang! Oh my god, wow Never running up again. That sounds fun I'm not about my favorite type of orange cheese. I will not make that mistake No, I never do that. No

Sorry about that, Dave. I'm just getting that zone. It's the right zone. Yeah, it's a man. Kingasting Michael Parkinson's Jimmy color. Ow, what hurts? Jesus and yeah, what I don know, yeah, our YouTube channel's airyoutube.com slash do-gone pod. All our things are at do-gone pod, including our Gmail address, our website, with a dot com at the end, and all our social media. So get involved in all that.

If you want to, no pressure. No pressure, you do. We were also, after this little project of the live streams have done, the next thing we're turning out at Attention 2, which we're really excited about, is our web series coming up soon, which is gonna be on the Stupid Old Channel. So definitely get onto the Stupid Old Channel

on YouTube and subscribe. Like and subscribe. If you do like and subscribe, genuinely you will be the first people to see the show. So, yeah. And that should be coming up imminently. We recorded a little while ago, back in the bearded days,

one of those times. Dave looks exactly the same, just as they're slightly shorter. But we all look like we can go out and hug each other. Maybe we even do hug at some point. We're sitting so close. Closed together, yeah. I mean, it's kind of a trickery,

but to have people look like they're sitting quite close together, you actually have to sit on top of each other. So which we Closed together, yeah. I mean, it's kind of a trickery, but to have people look like they're sitting quite close together, you actually have to sit on top of each other. Which we were. Yeah, so. And it's how in the background, it's actually a bundle of cats, sticky tape together.

Anyway, that's the end of this episode. Jess has got to go move her house, because she's a little bit mad. She actually chose to move house. I only do it when I'm evicted. Yeah. That genuinely last time I moved I was kicked out. Anyway. There were several legal ramifications. I'm not allowed to speak about that. Well yeah thank you so much. We'll be back next week. But until then, thank you and goodbye.

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