Do Go On - 239 - The Picasso Heist

Episode Date: May 20, 2020

In the mid 80's, Melbourne's NGV purchased a Picasso to add to its collection. Less than a year later, it was gone. This is the story of the Picasso Heist!Our new weekly web series on Stupid Old Channel is out now: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2TuMQ31VXvqqEus9Bo6FZW-dDY5ukEuhOur website: dogoonpod.comSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/art-and-design/thomas-dixon-first-person-weeping-woman-20160623-gpqixc.htmlhttps://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-09-14/retrofocus-picasso-weeping-woman-famous-unsolved-art-heist/11498936https://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/art-and-design/picassos-weeping-woman-could-mystery-of-1986-ngv-art-heist-be-solved-20160721-gqae1t.htmlhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theft_of_The_Weeping_Woman_from_the_National_Gallery_of_Victoria Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello. Hello. Ooh. Hey Dave, hey Jess. Hello, Matt. Hello, Dave.

So good to be with you. It's always a pleasure. I've got to tell you, for the last couple of weeks, we've been taking the pod on the road. Yeah. We are in Jess's brand new apartment. Yeah, it's brand new. Just built. The paint's still dry.

Don't touch anything. So futuristic in here. Well, at it was when it was built, what, 60 old years ago? Oh, 40? 50? 50. Damn it. There's a lady that lives downstairs who's lived here since it was brand new.

No. Yep. She's dead. She's spit everywhere. Can't get her out of the wall. Yeah, it's great. It's weird. How old do you reckon she is now?

She'd be late 70s, early 80s maybe. I'm being a bit generous. She might be mid-80s. Lovely lady, name's Pam. Got on your pan. She lives downstairs. Now everyone knows where you live.

Everyone knows where bottom ground Pam lives. We all call her bottom ground. A, BG! She sits on the ground. BGP! Well, you know, it's nice to be here. Thank you for inviting us into your home.

I mean, I didn't. You just arrived. As vampires, it's the only way Dave and I are out in. When you're invited? How do you invite vampires in? Buffy Law. But how do you invite them?

They say, can I come in? Yeah, yeah, all right. All right, Spike. On your, in your pop. Hey, Dave, we're doing a web series. We absolutely are. And it debuts this Friday. Yes.

May 22nd. And we're all going to be, the three of us, I believe, are going to be on there as at debutes. Mm-hmm. years at 9 a.m. Melbourne time, Australian Eastern Standard time, which is, I looked at it before, I forget what it was, but in America it's a different time and then in England a different time again. Canada, yet another different time. New Zealand, different time again.

So I think it's actually, it's 4pm, LA Thursday, midnight Thursday in London, and 7 p.m. New York City Thursday. And then, I mean, the list goes on. Gary's somewhere in between. If you live anywhere other than that, you can figure it out. Is there so many time zone calculators? I really thought that people could do that. But when we did live streams, not too long ago, it turned out of that.

It's more difficult than I realized. I was ridiculed when I said, all you can do, you just go to a time and date calculator. And you were like, don't be so patronizing. I think I really should have been in the terms of out. Yeah, it is hard. I think we should have walked them through it even more. There is a trailer that's already out, a promo that we've put out. So you can watch that right away if you're listening to this as soon as it comes out.

But yeah, Friday, the first episode comes out. We're putting out nine episodes on the stupid old YouTube channel. So if you want to subscribe to that, you won't miss an app. And yeah, we'll put a link in the show notes. Yep. We're very excited. So it's like a visual version of this show. We've got John, our animator, to put in some animations.

And we got some rich mahogany And leather bound books So it's all very nice Anyway, how does this show the audio version work? Old school, Dave? Well, there's less animations But there is reports. Yes.

We take it in terms of a report on a topic Often suggested by a listener. It is Jess's turn this week To tell Matt and I about something We've got no idea what it's even going to be And to get us onto that topic, She asks a pescular question. I did write a question too.

And I did write a question too. I'm sort of thinking, like, if you hadn't heard of it, this question might, you know, not be super easy to guess. But if you have, you'll be like, duh. Yeah, well, a couple of big brains over here. I think we've probably heard of it, Jess. Come on. Between the two of us. All right, here we go then.

Picasso's The Weeping Woman. Was stolen from which art gallery? That is. The NGV. NGV. Is it really? Yeah. Victoria.

I've performed there, do you know that? I did not know that. What do you mean? You performed at the David Riggily exhibition about four or five years ago. You performed at an exhibition. Yeah, it was like they had this thing where they had like a spoken word thing each, I think Saturday during the exhibition, a month long exhibition. And I, and it was about the burdens you carried.

And you talked about Dave. Half an hour. You talk about me. I think I listed regrets for half an hour. Great. Yeah. You had to talk for half an hour. I think so.

Jesus. It wasn't fun. It was kind of fun. I was shitting myself leading up to it. Yeah. I'm like, I don't belong in a gallery. Let me just tell you, someone's shitting themselves publicly. That's art.

That's art. That is art. That is art. Yeah. People would pay for that. Yeah, that's what I should have went into it. Yeah. Did you know that you didn't know that this had happened?

No. See, that's what I mean. Like, if you don't know, of course, We probably wouldn't think of NGV because it's, like, to us, it's, you know. It's a cool art gallery. It's beautiful. It's only 15 minutes from where we're sitting right now. Oh, that's cool.

Yeah. I mean, it's the kind of thing I've probably heard that before, but for some reason it hasn't stuck in my head. Can I say, I don't know any of the details. Wonderful. Great. Jesus. This is becoming one of our big topics. Art gallery thefts.

We love a heist. Heists. Yeah, all sorts of heists. Maple syrup hires. Art Hise. I mean, we've done Mona Lisa. We did, when we were in Ireland, I talked about one of the famous Irish paintings

being stolen from, I believe, the Tate in London. I don't remember that. So it's three enough. And then in London, you told us it's about a stone being stolen. Yeah, the stone of stone. Oh, yeah, of course. That's not quite art, but that's still... It's a stone, though.

It's like a sculpture. It's just pre-sculpture sculpture. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's true. It's unsculpted sculpture. Anyway, I'm so fascinated to hear this story. Well, the National Gallery of Victoria, she's off to a good start. NGV purchased Pablo Picasso's famous 1937 painting, The Weeping Woman, in 1985, for $1.6 million.

At the time, that was the highest price paid by an Australian art gallery for an artwork. 1.6. The painting is It's one of a series of works Done by Picasso And it was modelled by his mistress Dora Maa, amazing name The definitive piece

In Picasso's series Is at the Tate Modern in London And it uses bright reds Blues and yellows But this piece purchased by the NGV Has been described as An unsettling combination Of acid greens and vibrant moves

Exaggerated by thick black outlines Ooh. Do you know that, does that ring a bell at all? It sounds hot. I love Move. That was my Nana's favorite. And what about acid greens, though? Oh, I love acid greens.

This painting sounds like me and my Nana. Together. Together. Weeping. It's what she would have wanted. Mushed forever. The weeping woman, let me look it up. No, I don't know if I know it.

I used to. Oh, yeah, no, I do know. Because I did, like I did art all through high school and stuff and consider myself a bit of an artie at the time. And I used to go to the NGV all the time and I'd make sure to stop by and say good a day to the Picasso, never knowing its rich history in the NGV. Before the NGV bought its Weeping Woman,

the highest price paid by a major gallery in Australia for a painting was for Jackson Pollock's Blue Poles, which was purchased by the National Gallery of Australia in 1973 for $1.3 million. So that's like 13 years before. Oh, sorry, even longer. It's purchased in 85. And that was very controversial.

Was it? At the time. Oh, yeah, big uproar. They were like... For the amount of money. Yeah, the government is paying over a million dollars for a foreign artist's work. What are you talking about? And these days, it's one of our most famous pieces in a gallery.

Exactly right. And it's worth like $200 million. Yeah. And everyone's like, yeah, so we invested well. And we always thought that. Yeah, but at the time, yeah, there were people being like, this is crazy. The government's gone mad.

They're spending our money. What a waste of an hour. People are like, what an investment. You made a good choice. It was a little bit the same with the Picasso. I mean, there was definitely a lot of that, but there was also a lot of excitement and fanfare when the purchase was made. And the director of the NGV, a guy called Patrick McCoy,

said, this face is going to haunt Melbourne for the next 100 years. Beautiful. Patrick, love it. Well, Patrick, this should alleviate any protests. Also, his surname is spelt MC-C-C-U-G-H-E-Y. Yeah. McCoy. That's how I would just spell it. Some estimates put the painting's current worth at more than $100 million.

So yes, very good investment. But the gallery does not comment on the value of the works in its collection is what an NGV spokeswoman said. Oh, we don't like to talk money. A lady does not tell. A weeping woman does not tell. On the morning of Monday, August 4th, 1986, less than a year since the weeping woman had been purchased, NGV staff members discovered that the famous Picasso was missing.

A card was left in its place saying the work had been removed for maintenance and was signed off ACT. It was assumed that it had just been transferred to the National Gallery of Australia in Canberra, also known as the ACTT, the Australian Capital Territory. I'm a little bit disappointed that the card didn't say you've been robbed by the cat burglar. Yeah, that would have been badass. But it's also kind of nice to know that they just went, That painting we only just got, it's probably just been moved.

Should we check with anyone? No, well, I mean, you read the card, did you? Yeah, don't be an idiot. The card's there for a reason. Save this conversation. Signed ACT, so. So I don't know what more... Do you think someone forged the initials ACT?

I mean, how many people know that? That's pretty top secret. Cards are always left signed from a state. Yes. Okay. Or territory. Or territory. And in this case, it's a territory.

You think it's the most expensive painting in the country. It's worth a phone call. Yeah, maybe just ask the question. Oh, I might just double check. Maybe go to the tape. Let's see if the how official these guys look. It was later... There's the Prime Minister, lifting it off the wall.

Good... My Lord. It was later discovered that the painting had been removed on Saturday the 2nd of August and hadn't been noticed for a few days. What? In fact, it wasn't until a journalist from the age called the gallery to say they'd received a letter claiming the Picasso had been stolen.

And then they went and checked. This is, you know, the stereotype of the laid-back Australian, which is kind of a myth, but this makes it feel like maybe it is true. Parts of, yeah, we can be pretty laid-back, but, you know. Mr McCoy wrote in his book, which is called The Bright Shapes and the True Names. I mean, it's not bad for a first draft, but...

Catchy. He said, I excused myself from the committee meeting and began a search of the gallery. desperately hoping that it was a prank and that the painting had been hidden in the building. He's kicking down toilet doors. Can I give me the pay-the-back. Authorities were at a loss. Could it be an inside job?

After all, the thieves clearly knew their art history. Some suspected the heist was an ironic homage to the 1911 theft of the Mona Lisa from the Louvre, in which Picasso himself was a suspect. Yes, let's remember from episode one of this podcast. Yes, obviously, I remember it very clearly. Very detail. Vincent Perugia, I think was the thieves. Fantastic.

Yes, probably. Vinnie P. How do you remember that four years later, Dave? I don't know. And look, you might be thinking, well, surely galleries have insurance in place for these kind of things. I was thinking that exact thought. Yes, insurance is absolutely an option, but not one that NGV had taken.

Then arts minister, Race Matthews, considered that the price of insurance was prohibitive for major works of art. So the cost of insuring a piece is so high that it makes it impossible then to actually buy the piece so they just buy the art and don't insure it. Right. Well, that was the same with the Mona Lisa

when it went on the World Tour we talked about in that episode because it was so expensive to insure it that they just spent that money on security. Yeah, which is what the NGV did as well. Yeah, but the prohibitive cost of buying a lock for the front door prevented them from doing that. So they just hoped that no one would break in. And look, it worked for ages.

We thought about getting a security camera, but... Yeah. That's not to say they didn't take measures to protect their artwork, obviously. McCoy stated that a specialised type of screwdriver, not available to the public, would have been required to take the painting off the wall. Ah, Philips said. Not available to the public?

We're a very flat country Find me a layman who's got a Philip's head. What's the other one called? Flat. Flathead. Right? Yeah. And there's the third option

You left-handed screwdriver, which you're very familiar with. Maybe they had an Alan key. Yeah, you've got to get that, it's not available to the public. This is 86. This is a pretty idea. There was no Alan keys.

So perhaps this is one of the reasons they thought it could have been an inside job or at the very least, people who are highly knowledgeable about art. Tom Dixon, who was the chief conservator at NGV at the time, he wrote an article a few years ago, and it's great and very thorough, so I'll mention him a fair bit. So he writes this, he says,

as Patrick met with senior government officials, police and press, I led about 30 police recruits in a top-to-bottom search of the building. Luckily, it was a Monday when the gallery was closed for house, so we didn't have to clear out the public. I made a mock-up of the picture and a handout showing the components of the painting so the recruits would see precisely what they were looking for. Almost immediately, the picture's frame was found. Frames provide considerable protection for delicate canvas,

and its removal increased the risk of accidental damage to the painting. It also made it easier to conceal or remove from our building. Finding the frame crushed any hope of an innocent explanation for its disappearance. So he was kind of like shattered. to find it actually. It soon emerged that the ACT referred not to the Australian Capital Territory. Rather

it was revealed as an acronym for the Australian cultural terrorists. It's not an acronym, isn't it? It's initialism. That's right. Unless they call themselves act. I don't think they do. So I got one right there.

Well, no, I mean, I... I learned that fact on an early do-go on, I'm pretty sure. I forget when it was, when I'm pretty sure Dave brought that... Yes, no, it was definitely Dave. did not know that before then. And I reckon once a month I would smugly pull that out. I reckon you've done that recently.

I think I'll actually find that's an initialism. I think you've done that recently and that's the only reason I've remembered it now. I think it was perhaps last week when discussing the NBA. Yes, it absolutely was. Yeah, because we call it Nuba. That's why it's actually known as an acronym. Looking at Dave. That's how it's like anagrams and all those other A words.

It's too confusing. So it's not Australian Capital. Territory. It's Australian cultural terrorists. And this was discovered after the group sent letters to the gallery and also to the age. It's a bit embarrassing that obviously you're not well known enough that people get it. Yeah. People are like, oh yeah, Australian Capital Terrorism, you probably should have spelled it out. Like, think that through.

But it also sounds like that brought them some time. But so much time they're like, hey, everyone, anyone noticed we did a terrorism? They're checking the newspapers the next day and nothing. happening like oh okay maybe tomorrow next day they're like huh should we send them a letter amazing that they didn't know the most expensive painting ever bought in Australia

and the girl I didn't notice that is unbelievable yeah by today's standards it absolutely is yes so this is the letter being alive in the 80s imagine that must have been this is the letter sent to the age on the 5th of August 1986

and it reads attention rank Matthews there's a lot of of insults in there too. They've been a bit... His name's Race, Matthews. They're calling you Rank. I was wondering about it before.

Is that... We're saying that's a name now? It's in his name. He's like Charles Race something. Race. Matthews, yeah. I don't see race. I see rank.

I'm not here. So they've called him Rank. They said, we've stolen the Picasso from the National Gallery as a protest against the niggedly funding of the fine arts in this Hick state and against the clumsy, unimaginative stupidity of the administration and distribution of that funding. Two conditions must be publicly agreed upon if the painting is to be returned. Number one, the minister must announce a commitment to increasing the funding of the arts by 10% in real terms over the next three years.

I must agree to appoint an independent committee to inquire into the mechanics of the funding of the arts. Number two, the minister must announce a new annual prize for painting, open to artists under 30 years of age. That's the weirdest terrorism I've ever heard of. Five prizes of $5,000 are to be awarded. A fund is to be established to ensure the real value of the prizes is maintained each year. The prize is to be called the Picasso Ransom. That's a good name. And it goes on to say, because the Minister of the Arts is also the Minister of Pload, he was a police minister as well,

We're allowing him a sporting seven days in which to try and have us arrested while he deliberates. This is fun. There will be no negotiation. At the end of seven days, if our demands have not been met, our campaign continues. Your very humble servants, Australian cultural terrorists. They do sound like they're definitely Melbourne uni students. Yes, they're hoity tooty. And we've got to say they're obviously they're big fans of art and they want more money invested in art so much so that they've taken the most expensive.

piece of art? Yep. Yep. Yeah. To draw attention to art, Dave. Duh. It's like, but they're not happy

with how much is being spent on art. They want more money spent on art. Don't spend so much money on art. Spend more money on art. Oh, okay, gotcha. That N word they wrote. I mean, it definitely got my attention. It's a word that means

ungenerous with money or time. Right. So they're not spending enough money. on the arts. So some people questioned if the vigilante group was but a red herring, a cover-up for a more serious criminal operation designed to smuggle the painting out of the state. So they're sort of saying, oh, look at us over here. And then actually other people are thinking out of the state.

A little bit diehard three going on. Yes. You know what I mean. Yeah. You always, you know, you've got a slight of hand. Thank you. I couldn't think of the slide of hand. Ah, but it's behind your.

ear all along. How do he do that? How do you keep a Picasso behind my ear? There was a fair bit at stake here as well. So the NGV had faced a few raised eyebrows when they'd purchased the Picasso. This is from Tom Dixon again. He says, the painting was controversial because it was so expensive, small, and to put it mildly, took some getting used to. It was not a pretty picture. There was plenty of criticism. Weeping Woman is now valued by Sothersby in excess of $100 million, so it was difficult to argue that it wasn't a good purchase. And it was mostly privately funded. For a gallery to stage big international exhibitions,

it has to have the trust of private and institutional lenders, and the NGV's reputation was already tarnished by a borrowed ancient Chinese jade sword and a Picasso picture that had been damaged a few years earlier. So they've already had a Picasso and damaged it. Great. With a giant Chinese jade sword, I believe. I like how one of the things they didn't like about it was that it was, small.

Everyone knows, and I do agree with this, the bigger the art, the better. I could not agree more, yes. Small art, get out of here. Colourful, they've ticked that box. I just want big, colourful stuff. I love those ones you get on art gallery, and there's one on a whole wall. Yeah. And it's lots of colours.

Yep. I'm in. Well, now that's art. I love this. I love art. I love art. Oh my God, I love art. You love big art.

Yeah. Andy and Al from Tilling Tank wrote a sketch about that. where it's like Andy was an art evaluator and he's like you know the value of art is all about how big it is it is just him going around a Sydney art gallery showing with a tape measure going well you can see this one is quite valuable it is meters wide and high so that's quite valuable he wrote it funnier though. I can't remember any of the lines. I can only imagine Andy would have read that funny. Yeah, yes. But it's funny to me, especially because I'm like,

I 100% agree. The bigger it is. The better. And this is a small piece of art. Yeah. That's why I think the Mona Lisa can suckered. Fuck. Yeah. Sorry for the language there, but yeah. I mean, in a lot of ways, art, good art does make you think and make you feel. Does make you feel like you want to suck a fuck.

And the Mona Lisa does make me feel. feel like spewing up nah good on it so he's saying it's already had a couple of incidences that it may be making it its reputation lower a little and he says this third incident

could destroy not only the borrowing ability of the NGV but by association that of other Australian institutions so another controversy could damage the reputation of the Australian art world in general right because a big part of those galleries around the world is that they share stuff with each other Yeah.

So they're worried. It's on loan from somewhere. Like a gallery in Berlin's not going to let them have stuff anymore because it's like you had the most expensive thing you've ever bought and no one noticed that it was no longer there. Yeah. Someone got it quite easily and you didn't figure it out for a while. A terrorist organisation left a calling card for three days

and not a single phone call was made. No one had any clue. So it's really important with how they handle this, right? But the letter was met with a swift rebuke from Mr Matthews. who remarked that he would not be budgeting by blackmail. Seems like those involved kind of called bullshit on the terrorist claims. Race Matthews was reported saying, I can't imagine that anybody who is genuinely at heart

the interests either of art or of art lovers could have perpetrated an action of this sort. Just speak plainly. Who talks like that? Yeah, well, I guess they're talking in response to a letter that was written by a wanker as well. Yeah, true. Yeah, okay. Someone's like, it is surprising to find this guy, the head of the National Gallery of Victoria, is a bit of a wanker.

He's the arts minister. Oh. Bit of a wanker. Say no more. And police. And applaud. Both, for some reason. So he's saying that these people don't actually give a shit about art or they wouldn't have done this.

That is a weird combination. Art and police. Art and police. Yeah. Not really hand in hand. No. But I mean, policing is an art form. Oh, that's true.

When it's done right, let me tell you. State government in Victoria? Mm. Yeah, it would be, yeah. It feels like... Yeah, they're two very big ones. They've gotten rid of art now, I think. I think they don't even really...

It's the arts. Whoever's got the arts is like... It's a junior ministry, and they also look after, like, toilets and sweeping up leaves in parks. Yeah. Get those leaves out of this park. And after you're done with that, then you can look at funding some sort of arts.

I don't know. A musical or something. If there's anything left. Is there some way you could turn these leaves into an art? Yeah. Two birds. Figure it out. One rock.

Let's get a committee. Let's do this. A bit of glue. We can fund some glue. Can we? All right. You can bring some glue from home. Oh.

Any artist that brings glue from home can have four leaves. Oh, that's not bad. You can go for it. So the Victorian government refused to pay any of the demands and instead offered a few $50,000 reward for information leading to the capture of the perpetrators of the theft. But they, I mean, okay. We will not pay for terrorism, but we will pay to fight terrorism. And there was reason for that, which I'll get to later.

But authorities launched an investigation, but no one, including the outworld, appeared any closer to unearthing the identity of the self-styled Australian cultural terrorists. This is again from Tom Dixon. The painting looks relatively small on the wall, but at 55 centimetres by 46 centimetres, it's too large to conceal on a person. How was it removed from the gallery? Might it still be inside? We continued searching the building with police recruits for two more days,

looking not only for the painting but any associated components. We looked for the Masonite backing board, the wood bars the canvas had been stretched on, and even the carpet tax used to attach the canvas. Finding these would indicate the canvas had been rolled up, making it much easier to conceal. Later that week, we even drained the gallery's moat. We found nothing.

The gallery's moat. Yeah, is that just that water out the front? Maybe. The fountons at the front. Yeah. A moat. I feel like the director just really enjoyed saying, Drain the moat!

Oh, of course. I was thinking of the water wall, but of course it would be the big fucking moats out the front of the NGP. Every couple of years, someone gets arrested for diving in there and stealing coins. Oh, really? Yeah.

Every couple of years. So they let the coins build up to a reasonable amount to steal. Earlier this year, yeah, a few months ago in summer, someone was arrested for it. They're obviously doing it as a media stunt because they were in full scuba gear. Okay. On like a weekend with hundreds of people walking past, stealing coins that people are thrown into the fountain. That's lame. It's not worth getting.

What's the stunt? Yeah, what are you getting there? It's one of these pranks. Have you ever heard of a show called Jackass? Oh, yes. Bowning. They got the coins and then they put him in their butt. And then one of the other ones ate him out of his butt.

And then they set him on fire. Because it's funny. I'm laughing. I love pranks. Now that's art. Yes. To me. This Picasso, not that nice to look at.

Parse Picasso more like it. I'd say real art, modern art. Picasso. Picasso. Even better. I don't know if that is any better. Picasso, Picardo. Some say Picardo.

say Picasso. After another four days of silence, a second letter arrived, said good luck with your huffing and puffing minister, you pompous fathead. They've got his attention now. This is a week after the heist called him a pompous fathead. Said if our demands are not met, you will begin the long process of carrying about you the smell of kerosene and burning canvas. We're going to have torture. We love art.

We're going to burn this amazing art. A third letter containing a burnt match arrived at the minister's office two days later and a note that said, thank you for your support. Phase two begins shortly. Us figuring out how to keep a lit match lit. Any tips?

Strike one. All right. We couldn't set the canvas a lot. We thought the oil would be more flammable. We're going to try. try again in three days. This is another breakdown from Tom Dixon. Says,

Art Gallery security in 1986 was primitive by today's standards. I'd been on staff at two major art galleries in the US and can attest that the NGVs facilities and procedures were pretty much on par with the art world of the time. This meant that at 5pm, attendance locked up the gallery, did a walk through and then left leaving a skeleton staff overnight. Staff of skeletons, yes. Just like scarecrow.

It was just so that if people walked in, they're like, oh, there's someone there, you know? Not like, not living skeletons. No. Which I guess we sort of are. Oh, wow. In a way, aren't we all skeletons? Not me. Apart from floppy joe.

What are you, Dave? I'm like one of those starfish. Okay. Krusty. Yeah, I'm a crustacean. I'm a crusty crustacean. So he goes on saying, Making CCTV and motion detectors, the four-story building was secured by two attendants hourly

patrols with hand torches. A thief could simply conceal themselves until after closing and wait for a patrol to pass. They then had an hour or so until another patrol. Come morning, they could mingle with other visitors and leave unnoticed. It wouldn't take genius, just bravado. Mingling with people why you've got a Picasso under your art arm. Yeah. Yeah, isn't this nice art? Good day. Have you picked up anything from the gift shop? I just got, yeah, I got this little... This print, it's just a copy. It's just a copy.

It costs me 1995. I've got a receipt here. It's handwritten. Signed Picasso. He says the previous year, our new head of security made recommendations to embrace emerging technologies such as infrared motion detectors, swipe card locks and CCTV cameras.

The attendants, unionized and with a history of striking, made it very clear they would not tolerate CCTV, saying it would be used to spy on them. So they didn't want it. How am I meant to patrol the gallery, have a wank if I feel like it, if there's a camera on me? I work the night shift for a reason. I like to do weird shit here. What normal person would patrol this gallery?

I ask you that. Go on, find someone who's not going to wank. We're all wanking weirdos. But we get the job done, except that we did not notice a painting had been stolen, but that's not entirely on us. Well, between 12 and 12 or 3, I might have been wanking. If that was the time, I apologise, but I am the huge. I have needs. And they happen once an hour.

On the day that the age had called the gallery and Patrick McCoy had been in meetings all morning, Dixon writes at noon, Patrick met with staff and explained that we would be under increased scrutiny. Attendants and guards would no longer be allowed to just sit on stools, but would be expected to move around the galleries and couldn't congregate to chat. They immediately called a three-day strike. They're trying to take our stall.

I love to stop and chat. Okay, one incredibly expensive painting gets stolen, and now my rights are taken away from me. Oh, I can't wank in the middle of the day anymore. You were doing that? You're taking away in my wanking stool. That's my waking stool. Waking standing up is very difficult.

I try it. I don't care for it. I can do it, but I don't like it. That is just like. the bloody the Toffs, the big end of town, using our obvious incompetence against us. Oh yeah, now it's a great opportunity. Now that we didn't do our one job,

that they're going to have to get help in, sure. Very opportunistic, boss. So a terrorist organisation is stolen a painting and is sending ransom letters to us and the media, and now you say you're going to be asking me some questions about the place that I work, that is under investigation. I just want to come in and shit on a stool.

I just want to come in and come on a stool. So then they've gone on strike for three days. Yeah, that is pretty funny. You'd think you'd be like, oh, yeah, no, we'd probably, get CCTV, just point them at the paintings and let us keep our stools. That's my deal. They have chairs now. Yeah, so they wanted the high, the stools, it was the height, that was the worry.

Oh, I don't know. We'll swap you for banana lounges. No. How dare you? I like to swing my legs and feel young again. They offer them a hammock. I don't understand why they couldn't have just had the cameras and just pointed them. You know, keep the wanking corner off out of the cameras.

Yeah, they'll be in a, well, what's the word I'm looking for here? In like a dead zone. Boudoir. In a boudoir. Yeah, a little nook, little cranny. Have a little wank cranny. A little wank cranny. So with the thief's seven-day deadline having well and truly passed now,

authorities' hopes of finding the weeping woman were fading. Police received a tip that the painting had been seen in a commercial art building in Abbotsford. They raided it only to find a very poor copy. The detective said it was either a joke or a publicity stunt. Artworks... The jackass boys again. They did it again. They did it, but they did it with poo.

This is hilarious. Now, Steve-o's going to lick it. It's on Steevo's. One of them tattooed it on a Steevo's back, but instead of ink, it was poo. It's festering, guys. And instead of a weeping woman, it was him doing Stivo from behind. The scatting woman. Oh, I'm the seeping man.

The seaping man. The pus pouring for my wounds. Oh, yuck. So, I think this is from Dixon as well. He said, artworks are often described as priceless, meaning they're above monetary value. Weeping Woman was priceless in another sense as well. Being well known and antique, it couldn't be sold

on any legitimate market. However, valuable pictures were being used about this time as collateral for drug and arms deals. So professional theft couldn't be discounted. Likewise, no one should expect to ransom a painting to the government because publicly succumbing to blackmail would invite endless

new demands. So if they go, okay, we'll give in to that blackmail, then everyone's going to blackmail them. I would. I would. I'd kidnap one of their kids. Give me that chance. Set a precedent and I will follow it. This is possibly one of the best things that I read. It says the afternoon Herald newspaper reported a Sydney handwriting expert's examination of the ransom envelope.

Revealing the writer was possibly homosexual, but of unknown gender. It was a loner, but not secretive, had low self-esteem and was moody and suffering. And they were suffering depression and was very nervous and not elated by the theft. But probably homosexual. Where do they get that problem, do you think? From their handwriting, Dave. That is so funny. That was like 30 years ago.

A newspaper published that. Yeah, like that afternoon herald's one of the big papers. They thought they had a good scoop. They had a good scoop there. Oh, yeah. So, probably a homosexual. A loner. That's amazing.

Nervous. Don't know the gender. Not secretive, but a loner. How? How would that work? Anyway. That's so funny. Very good.

That's so funny. Thank you for that afternoon, Harold. The Sun newspaper reported an unnamed Melbourne gallery owner had received and offered a bid on the stolen painting and was told by an Adelaide dealer, I was told, sorry, that an Adelaide dealer had already bid $360,000. So he's got a tip like you can bid on it. The Adelaide advertiser announced an exhibition of 18 reinterpretations of Weeping woman.

Poor timing, guys. I would reschedule that. All done with poo. It was at the Experimental Art Foundation. Rumors that the original might be slipped in. It was followed up by an NGV painting conservator who happened to be in Adelaide, but to no avail.

The original was not there. So it wasn't in Adelaide. Why would they put it on display with 17 copies? Yeah. Why would you still hold that exhibition when a week ago that exact painting was stolen? But was the exhibition done to capital? on the...

Oh, yeah, maybe. Because that's poor taste too. The Weeping Woman's been stolen. Oh, well, this is a big news thing. Maybe our gallery will put us on the map by doing our own interpretation. That feels poor taste. So it's almost three weeks since the Outworks Disappearance, and the police receive an anonymous tip-off.

The tip is said, go to Spencer Street Station. There you'll find the Weeping Woman hidden in locker 227. Ooh. Quite specific. It was the 19th of August. Especially if they wanted the... Yeah, that means they don't get the 50 grand if it is true. Yeah, I guess so, because it's anonymous.

So police, NGV staff and the media rushed to Spencer Street Station. They told the media. Yes. The anonymous tip went. Went to the media as well. Sounds like Stivo's work to me. He's a classic. They get there and he's on a tricycle inside the locker.

Classic, Steve-o. In his memoir. He's her in a nappy. Oh, my baby. Oh, my baby, a tricycle. I'm reading a banana. I'm a monkey and a nappy. Oh, Steve, you've lost it, mate.

You've gone too far again. Really, this is what made me you think I lost it? I've got a shit tattoo. A literal tattoo of shit. From Mr. McCoy's memoir, he recalls, The Police Beckoned Me to Look Inside, and there was a brown paper package, exactly the dimension of the painting.

Oh. Police stated that the painting was packed in such a way as to ensure that it wouldn't be damage suggesting this is quite possibly someone in the art world or on the fringes of the art world someone who knew what they were doing some sort of homosexual a loner

but not secretive I can't believe that was published from handwriting homosexual but I don't know what gender but definitely gay I love hearing about old like that's a major newspaper

it's fun to think back to, that was like half of the Harold's son. Harold and the sun merged. I think the sun was the morning. Harold was the afternoon. Right. And then they merged to be just one morning. While to have a time where Melbourne had a morning and afternoon paper,

as well as the age as well. Yeah. But yeah, it is, you know, people talk about journalism's gone to shit now. But it's like, oh, I think it's always been... A bit shit. It's always, like, it's always been inconsistent. Depending on what you're after, you can get the worst stuff. And I think that goes back.

You read every story we do from 1900s, 18100, there's always similarly awful journalism. Yeah, yeah, and the media always ruin a lot of stuff. So Tom Dixon, he says, I drove there faster than I should have and arrived to see the door to luggage locker 227 open with Patrick peering in as press photographers clicked away. The package was wrapped in brown paper and police forensic officer Neil Holland, whom I knew, took it from the locker and handed it to me. I was hustled past the press to the backseat of a police car for a short drive to police headquarters, then in Spring Street.

Patrick and I watched Holland unwrap the package, and there it was. It looked all right. No burns, no slashes, none of the things we feared. We were elated, but we had to positively determine it was our picture because it could be a fake, the ultimate joke or diversion. The police drove me to the NGV. Critical comparisons with our technical records confirmed it was unquestionably our picture. I confirmed this with Patrick and the authorities and locked it in our rarely used walk-in bank safe and went home about 2 a.m.

So in a rather anticlimactic ending, the painting was returned to the NGV. But the question still remains who had taken it. And there's a bunch of theories. It's still a mystery? I'll get to it. In 1984, so a couple of years earlier, NGV had no Picasso painting, and it needed one,

like it felt like it needed one to represent the pre-eminent 20th century artist. That year, it co-hosted a major Picasso exhibition with the Gallery of New South Wales that was sourced primarily through Swiss art dealer Jan Kruger in conjunction with Picasso's daughter, Marina Picasso. Kruger and Marina Picasso were incredibly generous in their loans, but it was accepted, like it was known that they were also

sort of hoping for a sale. They wanted to sell one of the pieces of art. One of those pieces of art was woman seated near the window, which was done in 1932. It was large and beautiful. That's you right now. Thank you so much. I am seated by a window and I am large and beautiful.

The NGV made an offer, but they wanted to sort of pay it off over 12 months, and that wasn't agreed to, so the deal fell through. Patrick then, he kind of moved on from that picture, and instead he made an offer. on a smaller but much more important weeping woman from a New York dealer. Payment was agreed to,

sale was announced, and this is from Dixon, he says, we immediately learned that Kruger was, to say the very least, extremely disappointed at losing a sale. He thought he deserved after his generosity. One motive for the theft that had to be considered was revenge. Could Kruger be involved?

My favourite motive, revenge. Revenge. So good. Mr. McCoy has his own theories about the theft. In his memoir, he recalls receiving a phone call from a Melbourne art dealer just days before the painting was recovered, who said a young artist may have information about the theft. He visited the artist's studio near the Victoria Market, where he discovered photos and newspaper clippings about the theft pinned to the walls. Seems a little bit suss. This is a quote from him. He says,

I said deliberately, at least twice, that the people who had taken the work could deposit it in a luggage locker at Spencer Street Railway Station or at Tullamarin Airport. So for international listeners, Tullamare is our main airport, and Spencer Street Station, which is now Southern Cross Station, is one of the big train stations in the heart of Melbourne, which is the only one that has regional trains departing from it.

So I suppose what he's trying to say to the artist is that whoever stole the painting could, in theory, drop it in a locker and make an escape. Right. So he said that. He said this to an artist. To sort of, oh, not because he didn't know about that yet. He wasn't testing him.

He just said that offhand and then a couple of those things. It turns up in one of those things. Yes. That is suss. And he says exactly that. He goes, I always found it notable that within 48 hours of that visit, with the explicit advice about placing the work in a locker,

the painting reappeared. When I gave that advice, he reached for a notepad and pen and said, can you say that again slowly. Spencer Street? Never heard of it. How many S is in Spencer? Yeah, I'm really more of a Flinders Street, station kind of guy.

They were all so close to each other. I'm guessing no C, TV in at Spence Street Station either back then. There were cameras and it was there was two women that were... Either of them weeping. That's a deadly boy. I clicked straight. I clicked to an article that I had open and my computer is already up to that exact part.

It was meant to be. So good. So it says at least two women were cited with a parcel near locker with a parcel near locker 227 while the anonymous phone call was believed to have been placed by a man. but they didn't have any solid evidence so they weren't really sure about that. Did any of them look like loners? Especially the two together.

Yeah, did they look like loners? Homosexual loners? Yeah, did they look in love but alone? Neil Holland, who's the Victoria Police Forensic scientist that Tom Dixon mentioned earlier, examined the letters and the paintings, the painting after it was returned. His analysis of the letters,

which was all done on a typewriter, the ribbon and the paper used found that they'd been from the same source. It's all the same type, right? I know copycats or anything. While he documented the painting and the packaging it was found in, he knows DNA was recovered. He's not sure whether police would utilize advances in forensic technology

to solve the case now. He says, I'm certain you'd have DNA, but with the use of that technology, you don't use it on every case. Probably these days someone would have to make a decision that the case is important enough to warrant that step of looking to the DNA. Tom Dixon wrote, At my first private meeting with the subsequent director, he asked me directly, who stole a Picasso?

I replied that everyone knew, but no one agreed. Due to the high dollar value of the theft, there's no statute of limitations, and Victoria Police consider the case still open. The painting was thankfully returned undamaged in just over two weeks intact, except for the original exhibition labels missing from the backing board. Perhaps they were kept as a souvenir.

Theory is still abound. One day I hope someone will come forward and all will be revealed. 30 years later, I still want to know. So, yeah, it's still a mystery. It is a mystery. Oh, that's awesome. I wish the statute of limitations had run out

so that they could just come forward and tell the story. Yeah, I did it, and this is how I did it. Yeah, that would be great. Because, I mean, this is the kind of thing. Now it feels like, you're not going to punish them. It's a great story now. It's long ago enough. And they returned it in perfect order.

And there was something as well, like, once was recovered, there was like another letter that said, that's exactly what they'd always wanted. Right. Like, yeah, we planned for you to get it again. Yeah. We just wanted to like make a point. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. So it's a publicity stunt basically. Yeah. And they, I mean, people, their demands and that would have been published, I imagine, were they? Yes. Because they sent them all to the age. So it feels like, you know, that makes sense that if that's all they were going to do.

And they, because it's the kind of thing. It's more of a burden than anything. It's not stealing cash. Yeah. You can't really do anything with it, apart from hanging in your lounge room. You're like, quietly. Behind a curtain.

Yeah. Quietly, really trusted people. We could have a little peek on that curtain. Would you have a look at what I got over here? Let me tell you. It's pretty good. Look at a weeping woman behind that curtain. I'm like, sure, right?

Oh, no, I mean it's art. It's art. Yeah, well, I don't care how you explain it away, but you should not keep a weeping woman kept in your laundry behind a curtain. Yeah, nah, fair enough. You are right there, yeah. I'm going to go put her in a locker.

But yeah, I guess, like, yeah, that was their suggestion originally was like put it in a luggage locker at the airport and fly away. Because the NGV the whole time we're going, we don't necessarily want, we just want the painting back. Yeah. We don't want prosecution. We just want the painting back. Not mad, we're just disappointed.

Exactly. So when he was going and speaking to this artist thinking he had something to do with it, that's why he was kind of like, you know, you could just drop it off and fuck off. That's, yeah, that's great. Get a train to Bendigo. Hey? Never look back. Never look back.

Move to Bendigo. So have we checked Bendigo? Let's check Bendigo. See if there's two women and a man there. My auntie Rose is there. Oh my God. That's one woman. Oh, my God.

This is crazy. Beautiful city. Benda. Beautiful, lovely place. Fantastic place. But yeah, that is the mystery of the Picasso Heist. That's cool. I love it.

I love a Melbourne mystery. Yeah, a homegrown story. I liked hearing something that I kind of knew about. I'm going to ask my parents if they remember. Yeah, because they were alive then. They were. Because I think you're right. Wait, what are you suggesting?

Hang on. One of them a man and or a woman? Yes. Both. Yeah, I was just going to say that I didn't know the story of it, but I do know that it had been stolen. And I think they sort of, they use that story when you're going through the gallery. So it has become like a bit of publicity. Any of those sort of that just adds to the painting?

I mean, like honestly, any painting like that, it's just a, it's a kind of a piece of shit. But it was done by a famous guy who's got this great history. He's famous. Everything about it, it's the story that makes a painting. Yeah, you're right. That's true. Yeah. And this just adds to the history of it.

So it actually is probably increased the value of the painting by making it more interesting in that way. Yeah. But yeah, it was kind of, it was nice for a change to sort of be like, oh, well, I know all these things you're talking about. Oh, when you're saying like... Like even little things when they're like, yeah, police headquarters on Spring Street. I'm like, I know Spring Street.

Yeah, it was founded though in Abbotsford. I know where that is. Yeah, that's just up the road. That's why I love listening to Paul Kelly music, part from great music, but all these references, you know, Like most pop music, you'll hear American cities reference all the time. You'll listen to Paul Kelly, a lot of his stuff is just like, you know, some of his most famous songs.

Yeah. Leaps and Bounds, is it? Yeah. The one that talks about the clock on the hill and all that sort of stuff. Yeah, yeah. The MCG. And you're like, yeah, I know those places. Well, it's from St. Kilda to King's Cross.

I know St. Kilda? Yeah, it feels nice. I was like, I know this. And I know the NGV very well, even though I couldn't remember what the moat was. I love the end of it. The NGV. I reckon it's such a beautiful building. Gorgeous.

I love that. I don't know. Is that brutal? What is that? Brutalism? No, I have no idea about architecture. But I love the big grey flat. Yeah.

It looks like a fortress. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the moat out the front. But it's just, it's a beautiful building. And I did not know about this. But yeah, like I said, as a teenager who thought she was quite arty,

I used to go to the NGV a lot. And I'd always, because there'd be different, there's different exhibitions all the time. time. There's like a lot of staples and then there'd be something different all the time. So if there was photography stuff on, I'd go have a look and I'd make sure to pop in and say hi to the Picasso on the way, you know? And what were you doing in 1985? I was but a twinkle in my father's eye. I hate that expression. Why did I use it?

It's weird. I don't get it. It feels, it's like you're talking about jizz and your dad's eye. Exactly. There shouldn't be jizz in there. I was still living in Cullen, so I've got a pretty good alibi. Yeah, but where was your dad? I think he would have been with us. Well, all the time. Yeah. Hmm.

A likely story. Well, my memory's not that good of 1985, to be honest, but... Pathetic. I was already very old. My memory was already starting to fade. Oh, that was great. I love that. I loved that I never knew about it.

And unlike you, though, I've only come to enjoy that sort of stuff very recently. I would have had no idea about it. When were you going in there and there was a teenager? Yeah. Wouldn't have known it existed. Yeah, great. Like, probably like a normal teenager. But I was like, I love art.

I'm really into art. I should mention as well, this has been suggested by Kate Burton. Got any page? And it was voted on by the Patrions. And it won by a, it was a small margin. So I might keep that, the one that came close. Keep that in my back pocket for another time.

And when the gallery is back up and running and open again, we should all go have a look. I'd love to. I've been there a bunch. I don't think I've ever seen that, Picasso. Yeah, it's usually up. It's funny. I was reading one article that I was reading about this,

was, this is how it ends. It says, When an aged photographer went to the gallery on Thursday to shoot the painting, as arranged with the NGV, the Weeping Woman was missing from the wall when he arrived. As part of routine works, we're told. to be returned to her regular spot on Monday morning. Yet another twist and the endlessly intriguing history of Picasso's painting.

But yeah, it's generally up. Man, wouldn't you just, your heart would stop every time. Yeah. Oh, no, it's okay. Never be able to relax again. But they make the phone call now, and that's important. Yeah, and check the footage. And the attendants walk around a fair bit.

When the security union lost that fight for CCTV? Yeah. I get that as well. Like all that privacy stuff, it's such a tricky thing. You just don't know what the flow-on effects are going to be. Yeah. So you sort of understand, but it does feel like, I reckon, you know, on that most expensive painting ever,

can't we just get a little camera on it? Yeah, just to be safe. Whank behind the camera? Yes. Are you sure? Like, is that fact they were all wanking on their ships? I can't confirm or deny. Oh, okay.

So, yeah, basically. Probably, yeah. Allegedly usually means yes, doesn't it? it. Yeah. Like, that's not kid ourselves. It's just a legal loophole. Yeah.

To get out of saying, yeah, someone's a massive pervert. Well, because someone's alleged it, right? That's fact. It's a fact that someone has alleged it. Yeah. I'm alleging it right now. But yeah, well, that brings us to everyone's favorite part of the show. Oh, the fact quote or question section.

Which has a little jingle that goes like this. Fact quote or question. Ding! That was well-time ding. Thank you. I love it when they don't forget the ding. So I try to, we do have Jacob, who's a patron who audits our Simpsons references, and he missed a couple of mine from last week.

So I just want to underline when I said revenge. Yes, I was doing Bob Tolliger. So it was a one-word reference, but hopefully you caught that one. That's good. That's good stuff. Revenge. Like, he's the only one who says it like that. Of course.

But anyway, this section, the fact quote or question section, everyone's favorite section in the show. Top three. I think it's top three favorites along with the report and the other Patreon shoutouts. So in this one, if you support us at patreon.com slash stiguan pod on the Sydney-Shaunberg deluxe memorial edition level, as well as getting to vote for two of the three topics. So at the moment, you get to vote for Jassas and my topics. You also get to give us a factor quote or a question. I read out two of them each week.

I read them out for the first time on the show. So you could really screw the pooch if you wanted. I'm not sure if I'm using that phrase correctly. But anyhow, am I, Dave? Yeah, it was great. Don't screw the pooch on this one. Yeah, that's not quite right, is it? Don't pooch the screw.

Okay, thank you. Anyway, Mani Gaza is our first. Oh, Mani Gaza's back. We love you, Mani. Or questioner. And you also get to give yourself your own title. and Mani's given himself the title Junior Vice President of Nick Mason's Golden Tuxedo Rentals

Oh, the fourth beetle, Nick Mason Oh wow, wow, congrats on that amazing job title What an amazing junior vice president No, no no, junior vice president And Mani asks a question And that is As Working Creatives Thank you

Thank you so much for saying so Thank you for that He might be referring to himself Okay, let me get to the end of this. As working creatives, me and my friends. We listen to us to the little podcast. As working creatives, I wanted to ask at what time you felt the arts was the right thing to pursue, what were your fears and how did you get past them?

Sorry, if a bit personal or serious. Well, thank you. Firstly, thank you for calling this art. Thank you. And I think we're going out working creatives. Wait, he did not. He never said the word art. Yeah, didn't he?

Didn't he? At what time? Yeah, felt the arts. Yeah, thank you for calling this the art. Well, it was that time I watched Jackass and I saw Steveo doing it and I thought, well, if he can do it. Yeah, so can I. How about a sketch where it's like, it's an art wankers and it's called Jack Arts? Love it.

That's great. That's like changing the sound slightly, which makes it comedy. Yeah. That's great. My understanding. That's as far as I understand it. cute little noise you made. He did a little.

Well, I remember pretty well. I like very slowly. Dave and Jess were had a lot more self-belief. That's why it took me to be a very old man before I made the leap. But I dabbled for a while. I started doing, I think I was your age when I started doing stand-up, which was pretty old and 29. And then I was also, I also had the Super World Studios,

had started with Evan and Alan Andy in back before then, in my mid-20s sometime, I think. And then, yeah, I just slowly was doing a bit more and more, and then it just took up a bit more and a bit more time. And then it was talking, I used to work for a heating and cooling company while selling installations of air conditioners, basically. How did you get into that?

after a trip I was in Europe for a few months and I got back and I had a little bit of debt from the trip I borrowed money off a mate over there who was like you're having a great time you should extend I'm like I've got no money he's like I'll lend you something like all right that's nice yeah nice guy

or did he enslave you as an air conditioning salesman no he didn't and then I got back and I was looking for a job and I sort of was just looking at anywhere for work and I had two, I went for two jobs the same week. One was this air conditioning place where my cousin worked. You know, Rhino. Yep, yep.

And also as a croupie air at Crown Casino. Oh. So quite different jobs. Very different. I got the job. I was in the car with Scott, my boss at the Mercury Air Conditioning Company and he was driving around talking me through it. He basically just offered me the job in the car.

And then I got the phone call from Crown also offering me the job. And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I've just taken another job. So if it happened in the different order, I would have worked at a casino, which would have been a little different. Anyway, what was the question? Oh, yeah. So I think my, I was lucky that my boss there, Scott, was, he was very encouraging. And, yeah, I just had friends and very supportive people around me who were very encouraging.

Alastair, Trombay Burtle, and friends who did it. before me as well he quit engineering and like a real job he studied to do that and I'm like fuck I'd never have the ball I when I saw him do it I'm like I can't believe he's quit a proper job yeah I can't I'll never have the guts to do that and then yeah within a couple couple more years I'd done it myself so I don't know you just have to I reckon and it was when I realized that time is not infinite like you just got to got to go for it if you want to and it sounds like Like many you do. So I'd say just go for it.

But I mean, don't be reckless about it. Yeah, you don't have to quit your job to, you know, most people do it, do both. Yeah. I worked a full-time job plus doing the podcast, plus radio stuff, plus stand-up. And eventually you're making enough money from the other stuff that you can get rid of the job. But you just do both for a while. And that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that.

Yeah. And if you can find a way of going part-time or find a more flexible job, I was lucky with that air conditioning job that they let me go and do community TV and radio whenever I need to or go to do gigs. A night or go away on tours and stuff. So, yeah, ideally you'll find a job that gives you a bit of that sort of flexibility. And sometimes you're given the opportunity to make that call. Like I had a full-time job and I, at the same time, over summer, started doing the overnight shifts at radio. And I asked if I could go part-time and they said, we don't really have.

have we actually can't facilitate part-time so I quit that job yeah and I still work in radio you know I took a bit of a gamble there sometimes you do that but you know what's right for you yeah it was it was totally a gamble for me as well I was taking yeah bits and pieces I uh Dave helped me get some trivia hosting and you just sort of make I was working like three or four five jobs for a while yeah just making just so yeah bits and pieces which I'm having to do again now because of the pandemic. I'm doing some trivia and all that sort of stuff again to get by. But yeah, what a long-winded answer, Dave.

You've always known, right? Yeah, but at the same time, I'm the one who I still have not quit my full-time job, yeah. But your full-time job is still creative. Yeah, it's still very much in the industry. Yeah, industry-based. Which is the dream, Dave. Yeah, no, I'm very happy and I feel very fortunate. And yeah, and I'd just say, quick.

because we've already talked about quite a bit of stuff, but one thing just led to another for me, which I'm very happy to do. Like I was doing the trivia stuff, but I was doing my comedy stuff on the side, and through the comedy stuff, I met all the stupid old people, and then Beck was working at the project where I now work,

and she said, oh, you'd be great for this job, you should apply, and I didn't hear back for a long time, and I was just in there doing it part-time, and then they offered it full-time, and then, you know, I'm doing a little bit more stuff there now. It's just, yeah, it's just incremental. That's 100%, yeah. You look back and go, oh, wow, I reckon that if I didn't study drama at uni,

I probably wouldn't have done the trivia job. And I didn't do the trivia job. I probably wouldn't have done a quiz show at the comedy festival, because I realized I love doing this. Then I wouldn't have met stupid old. Then I wouldn't have got the job of the project. And I wouldn't have met you guys either. Just you do it and you meet people and you just try and say yes a lot.

You don't know where things will come from. I reckon I can trace it all back to Sin Media, which is the Student Youth Network in Melbourne, I just stumbled across it on the community station. They used to have at CIN TV in the afternoons. And I watched that for a bit. And I was like, oh, I should get involved. That seems cool.

And I kept putting it off. But you can only do it until you're 25. So I was 24 or something like, oh, shit. It's now or never. So I was lucky to have that pressure. I called up. And, yeah, everything pretty much has led on from that. Yeah.

All comedy things, stupid old studios. I met all them there. and then twice your shoot, she does comedy and, like I wouldn't have known any of that was possible if I didn't. Yeah. Doing stand-up,

living in Marabin, I just, I don't think I would have ever known it was the thing that was possible. But you can do. Yeah. So I just, yeah,

just one thing led to another, really. Yeah, and don't rush it. Just sort of see what happens, see what opportunities come up. Be a nice person. You know, be an easy person to work with

and people will think of you next time. Yeah, That's a good point. I imagine Beck wouldn't have suggested Dave if Dave was an asshole. Exactly. I don't want to work with you. You're a prick. That's why she never suggested me because.

A bit of a prick. Yep. Anyway, Manny, sir, if that was a bit long winded, but hopefully that sort of answered your question. Great question. And yeah, it's funny, I don't think about stuff very often. So it's sort of interesting to go bang. Oh, yeah, that's interesting to go bang.

Oh, yeah, that's interesting. It's kind of cool to think about it, isn't it? it. But yeah, it just sort of happened so progressively that then suddenly you go, oh, shit, I'm in a very different position to where I was a couple of years ago. That's cool. Yeah, right. I don't think, I don't know, I don't want to speak for you all, but there's nothing I look back and go, oh, I regret doing that. No, I don't really believe in regrets, to be honest. I feel like everything happens for a reason you learn from everything. Yeah. So spiritual. I don't really regret anything. I regret your haircut.

You're not allowed to regret other people's actions. I regret some of my haircuts. regret. Oh yeah, Dave, you should. You should, mate. I mean, coming from you with a pink beard, Matt, come on. Yeah, I've, I've, I've, I've just find it fun to. No, it's fun. No, and experiment with hair. Yeah, I don't regret the haircut.

You just look back and you just have to have a bit of sense of humor. Yeah, it's like, oh, but that's just fashion and stuff. Yeah. Which I was never in, but. My hair's got a bit of a pink tinge through it at the moment, because isolation. And I felt like it was the time. And it basically looks to say, yeah, great. Great new hair.

Fuck you. Wow, it's pretty punk rock. You pricks. Anyway, another one? Yes, this is from Edric Brannan. Edric Brannan. Edric Brannan. My God, what a fantastic name.

Just in case, it could be error. No, I don't know. I mean, they've written it themselves. I'm sure they got it right. Edric Brannan, given themselves the title. How annoying would that be? No, my name is Edric. You sure you haven't missed about your name?

No. But that said, somebody did buy merch from us one time and Mills spelled her name. And like it was correct in the email. So I was like, okay. I'll just fix that up as I send this out to you. So it's possible, I suppose. Okay. But let's assume that hasn't happened for Edric.

Edric Brannan, given themselves the title of Senior Executive of Executing Seniors. Oh, an important role. And there's... out of each other's heads. They've given, this is a nice, short and sharp one by looking at it, they've given us a fact. Love a fact. And that fact is, seals are to dogs as mermaids are to humans. That's a fact.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I get that. It's like dogs would look at seals and be like, whoa, I want to fuck that. And we look at mermaids and go, hubba, hubber. Do we? No, we look at mermaids and go, how does it work? Yeah. How do they pee? How's it coming from?

Do they shit? I don't know. Quick Matt Google now. Does a mermaid shit? Does a mermaid shit? Well, yeah. I mean, would it be a fish or human shit is the question. Probably fish, but a lot more of it. Right. It'd be human-sized but fish looking. Yes.

What does fish shit look like? Weird, quite stringy. Yeah. Big string. That's actually how string is made. Memoed shit It's very rare String

That's why you can't get it Very expensive stuff All right Well that brings us to the other Patreon shoutout section And this Is it the DB Cooper level

Or above maybe Or one of the levels It's if you read You read it there And it'll tell you We'll give you a shout out But also We haven't mentioned

That we're now Doing three bonus episodes Per month Yes For Patreon Subscribers At a certain level and you can get three bonus episodes.

One is usually like a random assortment, a quiz or some sort of game or something. And this week we did, it's just come out a couple of days ago, Desert Island Dave, which was I hosted a version of Desert Island Discs, the long-running BBC show where you pick your five favorite or five albums that you'd like to take with you to, a deserted island, one book and one luxury item. And we played the music, we were made an accompanying playlist. And yeah, it was really fun. It was really fun.

I enjoyed that a lot. Yeah, that was great. Loved it. And I love our new life together on that deserted island. It actually sounded so good, didn't it? Yeah, I'm keen. Yeah. Later this month, been very soon, over the next couple of weeks,

we'll be putting out a bonus episode, which I'll write a report on a topic and report to Matt and Jess. And the other thing is we are launching a brand new Patreon-only podcast, phrasing the bar. I'm excited about this. The people have begged for it for years. And we said no. And they said, please.

And we said, how dare you, we said no. And they said, please. And we said, okay, maybe. And, yeah, episode one will be going through the films of Brendan Fraser in order. And we're excited. I'm already excited for episode two. Yeah, I, Encino Man. Encino Man.

So good. That's going to be so good. I still can't remember what the first one is, but I look forward to you. Dog fight. Okay, I like the name. Yeah. It's got River Phoenix in it. Okay.

Brendan Fraser's got a very small role, I believe. Never going to be an old man. No, he'll never be an old man river. That's right. Are we going to be, like, is it such a small part that we, it's blinking, you miss it? Or will we know him, do you reckon? I'm actually not sure because I haven't watched ahead. Should we watch it together?

Yeah, sure. Let's do that and then record immediately after it. Great. Obviously not together, 1.5 metre apart. Like we are now. Let's go get a gold class cinema. Let's rent out of gold class cinema. You know my favourite part about gold class is that you can not only order food to be brought to you.

I love it. Oh my God, I love it. But you can tell them when. You can say halfway through the movie, I'd like some spring rolls, please. And also with those spring rolls, I'd like another cocktail. Thank you. Can you be very specific? Like, every time Brad Pitt takes his shirt off, I'd like one spring roll.

I don't think so. But they can just bring you spring rolls and then you can administer them in that kind of frequency if you want. But I think it's being brought to me when Brad Pitt's shirt is off. Yeah, I think you need an even more exclusive. Have you ever bought a ticket to it? God, no, it's always been a voucher. It's always a present or a prize or something. I've never bought a ticket for the office.

And have you ever used it except one day before the expiry? No, I have for special occasions in my late teens, very early 20s. that was a night out. I mean, I'm looking forward to, I will probably only go to the cinema once or twice a year these days. Yes. And mine, James Bond, cannot wait until the final comes out.

Oh, yeah, it's going to be good. I'd tell you about my, because I, yeah, obviously I'm not used to the gold class that much. So many of you, I sort of go, maybe I've been two or three times. Yeah, I think that's about it. And the second time, I remember, the first time I did it right, I ordered a beer, and an ice cream

actually that sounds wrong but chock top and then a beer yeah probably the other order I think I had a beer than a chock top with a tea or something I'm like that was perfect the second time I got cocky

and I ordered the curry oh my god curry in a gold class what are you doing finger food only it was real bad spring rolls chips more popcorn please

I'm afraid that I once did nachos and I walked out it walked out of there And I'm like, oh God, I'm wearing the nachos. But at least nachos, no one fucks up nachos that bad. It was like, now that I think about it, everything's going to be microwave. So you're not only thinking about it in terms of it being an impractical food to eat while watching a movie. Which was impossible.

Couldn't see it. No, if any meal with a knife and fork is not smart. Terrible. And also you're saying on top of that, it was very bad. It was the worst curry I've ever had. And I remember telling it. I never really talked to anyone about it. I was just like, oh, that was shit, unfortunate.

And then a few years later, I'm telling it, Capa, our friend, Capa was talking about curries and having a bad one. And I said, oh, the worst curry I ever had was when I went to the Gold Class cinema. And it was so shit. And he just was crying with laughter going, you ordered a curry? A curry at goal class. What are you doing? They would have been, he's like, they would net, they'd be like, what do we do?

Nobody's ever ordered the curry One of them had to go to Coles and buy a frozen curry Yeah It was so yuck The rice was you know It was like old rice You ate something with rice In gold class

Finger food only What's the smallest food available Rice? I'll have it I'll have that thanks What's the messiest food about Still rice I'll have two thanks Thank you so much Was it a film you had to concentrate

I'm really hard I didn't get the twist I was having a curry During the important bit. Also, it would smell and the people around you. It was bad for everyone else. Like on every level of the wrong choice. Did you just start hearing whispers?

He got a curry. Can you believe this? Who got a curry? Who got a curry? It was, I remember the film was one of the ones with Cap, Cap Nisibedame. Oh, Hunger Games. Hunger Games. Cat miss.

Yeah. You were playing the Hunger Games in there. I think it was maybe a sequel and I hadn't seen the one. Like it was. You hadn't even seen the first. one. Something like that. I'm thinking of revisiting those.

I've got the books there. I want to reread them. Are they good? Yeah, I loved them at the time. I don't think I'd love them as much now. But they're just like, she's very good at writing a cliffhanger at the end of every chapter. So you finish a chapter and go, and it's 3 a.m. And you're like, I can't read more, but I'm going to read the whole thing.

Oh, that's cool. So I enjoyed it a lot. Anyway. So we're going to thank a few patrons here. And yeah, if you sign up, you get all those sorts of things. This is also a Facebook group, which has a lot of fun chats. They've started doing their own Zoom catch-ups on Saturday. Yeah.

It's fun. I dropped in on the one on Saturday. It was cool. Did you? That's nice. So I caught it like, I forgot about it and I got in there an hour and a half and two hours after it started and there were only three people left. But it was probably better that way.

I mean, trying to talk to 20, 40 people or whatever. Oh, that would be so hard. But it was cool because it was someone in Perth, someone in Canada and someone in England. Whoa. That's cool. Yeah. We talked politics. Interesting.

Good choice. Yeah, I don't know why we just got straight into world politics. Anyway, I'd love to thank if I may kick us off this week. One of our long, so during the lockdown, I've mentioned this, I went back through and ordered at our spreadsheet where we've got all our shoutouts, and I found all these ones we've missed because of the weird sorting system on Patreon, but no man or woman is left behind anymore. So thank you for patiently waiting since.

August in 2008 from Washington 2018 Wow Let me finish I was pausing I don't think you were And in the pause I was saying other words Is this our longest supporter

They created the show They were on board years before we began I hadn't finished high school yet So from Washington DC Robert Benjamin Rodriguez RBRR BR

Oh and Jess you normally come with a game for us to play I was thinking of naming their terrorist organization. What do you think? Oh, fine. What did you just think of Dave? I was thinking their gold class regret to what they called. No, no, no, no.

We should go for the episode. So we had the ACT, the Australian. Well, that's interesting. We've got another cap. We've got the American capital, Washington, D.C., home of the White House. So their organization is also WDC. And it is the War.

War on detergent. Cloggage. We hate that. When detergent clogged. Cloggage. Yeah. Yeah. I'm having that issue at the moment.

Our dishwashing detergent is clogging. He's got homemade detergent put in like a bottle that doesn't. It's not used to it. So it clogs up real bad. Oh, my God. You got to call in the WDC. Yeah. Homemade detergent.

Things are getting tough. It's meant to be like in more environment. Yeah, it's great. But yeah, sometimes you go, well. Maybe I'll just keep the packaging going. But you've broken the dishwasher in the process. Yeah, it's rock solid. It's like just lard, splooging out.

Splooging. Yeah, but yeah. So I really appreciate the work that Robert Benjamin Rodriguez does with the WDC. I'm caught in work and I salute you, Robert. I would also love to thank from Kawasaki in Japan. Afka, F-A. Afka. Kawasaki.

So is that where the motorbikes are from? It's named after a city. I think it's probably also a pretty popular last name, I think. Okay. It's great. What a great name. Okay, so what could their organization be? Any ideas, anyone?

What about, okay, what does the FAA stand for in Afqar here? Oh, okay, yeah. We've already got the, so it should be the KFA, the Kawasaki Food Alliance. Oh. What kind of work are they doing? Making sure that food's up to standard, and if it's not, they will commit acts of terrorism. They will poison the food. Much like the art people.

We're going to steal this art because you're not caring about art. You're not spending enough money on art. Like this piece, you spent the money. most amount of money on record. Yeah, great. Oh, Afka, doing fantastic work, keeping all of our health at front of mind. Wonderful.

May I thank some people also? Oh, please do. Thank you so much. I would be absolutely delighted to. I would love to thank from Palm Beach Gardens. Oh, beautiful. In Florida, would love to thank Sierra Shainler.

That's got to be wrong. Dave. Yeah, that looks like... That sounds right to me. Sierra Shainler. Yeah, and Sierra, a fantastic first name. SS. Put that on the list.

Oh, SS. What does it stand for? It's the organization. It means for... It stands for... Sinking ships. Oh, wow. Does she work for the aviation industry?

Yes, and they're trying to get rid of big boat. So they can... You know, because so many people are choosing a boat instead of fly these days. Yeah, for short. She's got to take them down. Yeah, and they do it by bashing them with SS cricket bats. Is that?

It's a big, big, we used to be a big cricket bat brand, S.S. Stuart Surridge. That's that they right? Surridge. I mean, I assume so. So thank you very much, Sierra. Sierra, great work. I would also love to thank from Bo Morris, here in Victoria.

Beautiful part of the world, Bo Morris. I'd love to thank Peter Holberton. Oh, Pete. Pete has recently purchased some books from me. Not from me, from my housemate. Anyway. Is that true? Yeah.

Is Pete part of the BBB? The BBB. The Beaumorous Boys Brigade? Yes, actually, I believe he is. Founding member, I believe. Founding member of the Bow Morris Boys Brigade. Oh, good on you, Peter Holberton. But what do it remind me, but what are the Bow Morris Boys Brigade?

What's their main beef with the world? Not enough boys. Oh, right. So they go around maternity wards and they threaten women who have just given birth to girls. Oh, that's good. They said, more boys, please. And the woman says, I did not control this. They said, next time I'm a boy, make sure.

Next time I'm a boy and she says, okay, and they go, our work here is done boys. And then they go up for ice cream. They go back to Bea Morris for ice cream. Hey, you might enjoy this mistake I just made with SS. Yeah. I'm pretty sure I said one of the early Beatles members, Stuart. Oh. No, you said Stuart Surridge.

What's Serene Sports? What have I done? Stuart Sutcliffe. I think I've met Stuart Sutcliffe, the sports commentator. Wait. Stuart Sutcliffe was the Beatles guy. What's happening? He's the one that...

Stuart Surridge is the... Wait, Stuart Sutcliffe? Is he the one that died? Paul's friend? He's... John's friend. Yes, he's the artist from the Beatles. And then who's the lisping sports commentator, Stuart?

What sport does he commentate? You see, like, racing and he used to be a wide world of sports. I don't know. I've merged too many things in here and got, I've never heard of serene sports industries, but that's apparently what SS stands. You thought it was Stuart Surridge. What does that mean? He's just made up Stuart Surridge.

I'm just merged. So many things. Stuart Surridge. Surridge. Is that anything? Surridge. Stuart. I mean, he said,

is that right? I'm like, I guess. I don't know. No one else has ever heard of it. Stuart Surridge was an English first class cricketer who played for Surrey. Oh. Born in 1917.

How do I even know that? Of course that's, I reckon that's what you got. You've mixed that up. I don't know how that's happened. Oh my God, what is going on? Was that like a past life of mine? Oh, that would have been one of my, I was alive in 1917.

Yeah, no, sorry, Stuart Surridge. Yeah, I played with him. One of your opponents. Nice chap. Anyway, Dave, do you want to bring it home? Oh, thanks to Pete from the BBB. I would like to thank now from Ontario in Canada. Canada, Cecily or Cecily Thomas.

Ooh. What do we think? Cecilia? No, probably Cecily. Either way. Cecily. Thank you so much. C.T.

from O.N. C.T.O.N. Matt, what does the C-T-O-N stand for? C-T.O-N. Crimes. Yes. Tenacious. Yep.

Wow. Orbiting. Wow. What's the last? N. Necessities. Okay. You can put that together in something.

I forgot what the second one was. Crime, tenacious. Orbiting necessity. So crimes that aren't particularly necessary. All right, let's change. The criminal tenacity. Orbiting necessity. Oh, I love that.

It's a band. Yeah. That sounds like a terrorist ban. Criminal Tenacity is orbiting necessity. It's like you're trying to say this to that is this to that.

Yes. Criminal tenacity Criminal to tenacity is what orbiting is to necessity. Exactly. And what do they do, Matt? Cecili Thomas in Ontario. What's the main focus?

Oh, well, so, I mean, it's very flowery, poetic language. But what they're saying there is, you know, they keep world governments in check. They say that they are, they're going around the necessities, but they're trying to get them to hone in on what is important for people.

Gotcha. Food, shelter, medical access. Yep. They would say, no more of this orbiting. Let's get in there. Let's open up all the necessities for all people. That sounds like a great thing. Yeah, it's very good.

they will kill to get their way. Oh wow. Okay. That's a little extreme. Well, I mean, sacrifices have to be made. Yes. Good on you. Cecil.

I would finally like to thank all the way from Grange, South Australia. Paddy Harrington. Patty Harrington. Patty Harrington. That's a fantastic name. Fantastic name. Patty Harrington. Hmm.

Now, what does Patty stand for? people against domestic drug youth. Oh, Babelisp. People against domestic drug youth. Youth. Stop youthing drugs. Yes.

I think that's... Is there a better why? I mean, there's definitely a better one. No, no. You've nailed it. Thank you. I mean, Patty, I would love it so much if, as a side hustle, you are a drug dealer. That would make me laugh a little bit in this instance.

But you are... It works well because they've got different levels, similar to AFLW, Australian Football League, women's. Yes. So this is the... People against domestic drugs. Youth edition. Yeah.

So under 30s. Yeah. Then you've got the people against domestic drugs, adults. Yeah. Pater. Then you've got people against domestic drugs. Genere... Octogenarians.

Paddoes. Faddo. I was going to call them generic. Geriatric. Oh boy. Some signs that we should be getting towards wrapping up. Yeah, it's nearly bedtime. I did figure out that it was Ken Sutcliffe from Nine's Wild World of Sports,

so I was also merging in there. A lot of elements in here. Yeah. All right. So Sutcliffe, Saridge. I mean, they're all. And it came to you so quickly. I would have...

If we were on a trivia night, I said, I've got this one, guys. SS cricket bats, yeah, yeah, Stuart Surridge. That's like, you couldn't be morrow. You spent all of round two Googling why you were wrong. Not contributing to the team. But it was a cricketer. That's the wild thing. Cricketer from the 1900s.

Well, the other thing we like to do is induct some people into the Triptitch Club. Dave, you've got a beautiful, succinct way of explaining this. Well, basically, people that have been supporting the show, on Patreon at the shoutout level or above for three consecutive years. 36 months without a break, my goodness, these people deserve a second salute. And we want to thank them for their ongoing support. So we've created the Trip Ditch Club, which is like a little exclusive hangout area, which we serve cocktails, we serve canopets, we have live music.

It's just like, just a great place to be with like-minded friends. Yep. It is so good. And I'd love to invite a few in, but what are they going to enjoy? Joy this week and everyone who's already been inducted, which Dave has listed, I think, on the website by now in gold font. Absolutely. Have you done that? I do go on pod.com?

Yeah, yeah, check it out. Great. If they can't find it, would there be, what would that be? They need to clear their cookies in cash bar. Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. Appreciate that. I used to work in a call center for a website, and that was the main thing that fixed stuff.

Yeah, right. Quite genuinely. People would be like, it's not loading. I'm like, have you done this? And I'd walk them through how to do that, and then it would work. Nice. And they'd go, oh, you're so clever. And I go, yep.

It must be, like, you know that feeling where you're like, no, it hasn't worked. But anyway, I've got to go do something else anyway, because because you're so embarrassed because it was such an easy solution. Yeah. You're like, oh, no, I did something else and now it's working. So you were no help. So don't worry about it. Today, in the bar.

Drift's club, bar. I'm thinking of what's in my fridge and there's some Nippy's iced coffee. Whoa, whoa, whoa, why was that not offered earlier? Which we figured out on this week's episode of Matt Chat where you and I talked to my YouTube channel, YouTube.com slash Matt Stewart. And we realized that Nippy's famous brand

must be named after nipples. And now we're not sure how we feel. Famous Australian milk brand? Do you want me to tell you? No, I don't want you to ruin it for us. Unless you're going to ruin it by confirm. confirming its nipples. I will not say anything then.

What is it? It's a family name's called the Nipplesteins or something. They're the Nipsell family. Nipsal. Nipsal. Nip'sl. Because their main hustle is selling juice. Yeah, right.

Nipis juice, which is big in South Australia. And they, I think it started by, because they, I think they grew fruit. And they started sending their kids to school with juice. And then other people wanted it. So they started selling it. And they're like, oh, this is going to be a business. Oh, that's quite nice. I've just looked it up, Dave.

Stuart Nipple Steam was actually a cricketer. They are named after nipples. But I'm thinking like a nippies and bailey's cocktail. Oh, I love a milky cocktail. Shaken over it. I don't always, but I love Bayleys. I love it to drink, but don't think of too much about what's happening in your stomach. Yeah, it's not good.

I love it to stink. So this is nippies and a bailey's cocktail, shaking over ice, served in a martini glass. Oh, I don't know what that means, but I love it. And then for canapase, um, cheese and bickies. Oh, simple. Yeah, why stop with,

and you've got the best. Assorted vegetables for dipping in some hummus. This week's... This week's menu at the T-CB. Mm-hmm. It's been brought to you by the dairy industry. Yeah. Oh, wow.

I love dairy. Do you know, With the live act that the dairy industry is paid for? Who's that? The Wutane clan. We got them back together. Ghostface Killer. You're kidding.

Even the dead ones are there. Especially the dead ones. That's the power of the bar. It's beautiful. Matt, are there any inductees this way? There are. There's got a few. And I think, unless I just didn't tick him off last week,

he should have actually gone in last week from Eulis in Texas, United States. It is Martin Hernandez. Martin Hernandez, Jr., welcome. I'd also love to induct from Induripilli in Queensland, Australia, Christine Mooler. Christine, take a seat, my friend. Take a load off, you're in, lift that velvet rope, you are welcome. Indrupoli? Indrupal is it?

I think so, unless you said it right and I'm saying it wrong and she's laughing at us. Well, phonetically, it's Indoorupili. That sounds right. From Jersey City in New Jersey. It's Nicholas Figuera. Nicholas, I'm walking here. Nicholas Figueroa. Nicholas Figueroa.

Nicholas Figuora. That's got worse. And neither of you are even attempting to help me out here. I can't see it, so I don't know. If you see something, say something. Well, we're not seeing something. Figura. From Southport and Great Britain, it's probably called South Park.

You know how they say things wrong in England? I do. It's James Henderson from Lozstoft in Suffolk, Great Britain. It's a double, Brian and Laura, unless Brian's her name is, and Laura. And finally, from Broken Arrow in OK, Oklahoma, I assume, in the United States. Robert Chimenti. Welcome in Welcome, everybody

Thank you. Try the Bickeys. Enjoy the Wutane clan. Tickets and have a nippies. Yeah. Bickies and nippies are nice. Living the dream. Thanks so much to all of you for being supported us for three years.

Legends. Amazing. And yeah, that basically brings us to the end of this week's episode. What a fun time has been. An absolute cracking time. Thanks for the local talebop. We love that. Yeah.

It was kind of nice to see things that I. I actually know. I feel maybe I'll retain it better this time. Nah, probably not. If you got an idea for a Melbourne topic or an Aussie topic, we'd love to hear from you. Even if you've got one that's not Aussie, we'd love to hear from you.

And you can suggest a topic any time. By going to do go onpod.com, there's a little tab at the top that says, submit a topic. And yeah, we'll shout out to you when we inevitably get to it. Yeah. Totally.

And yeah, just give us a good pitch. That's the way they stand out, at least to me, as I scroll through the has. hat yeah give it a give it a an elevator pitch and we can you know that especially if i've never heard of something before i'm like i don't know what that is if there's an interesting byline there are literally thousands of topics in there so there's like over 5 000 yeah right so the the more you uh yeah some people sometimes write just trust me it's great i'm like i'd love to trust you but i yeah you make read every one of these because i normally everyone i

click on, I'll spend half an hour double check minutes. Worth putting up to the vote or whatever. I mean, they're all probably worth it. But sometimes there's not enough info. Yeah, exactly right. Different reasons. Not enough resources about it.

Yeah. Yeah, cool. So definitely do that. And check out our YouTube channel, or sorry, the stupid old channel, YouTube.com slash stupid old channel, where our web series is going to be up for the next nine weeks, and that'll remain up there forever.

Forever. Forever more. And yeah, hopefully, we're really hoping that people enjoy it as much as we had fun making it. Yeah. And if it goes well, I dare say we'll try and make more. But basically, it has to get watched for that to happen. Totally. Yeah, well, yeah, if it makes it worthwhile.

Yeah, so if you enjoy it, share it. That'd be awesome. Yeah. And, yeah, we also have our own YouTube channel, YouTube.com slash do go on pod. where all the, just for the most part, it's just the same episodes are up there, just another way to access them.

But there are also video episodes for some of the live ones from the past and some of the ones, I know we recorded some in hotel rooms and stuff over the years. If you want to check those out, yeah, whatever else, you know, do go on pod pretty much is what we are everywhere.

And yeah, it'd be cool if you check out my new little YouTube show. I guess it is sort of a, it's another, new member of the Do Go On Podcast Family Network. We're happy to welcome it in. I haven't asked you to if that's okay, but... Happy to welcome it in. So Dave and Jess have both been on it now,

as well as Cass from Sam's Pants and Evan Munro Smith from Gamey Game and Primates Pod. And I'm going to keep getting other people from around the network and elsewhere. So I've been having a real fun time doing it. I'm learning a little bit of editing techniques. You'll see how basic it is when you watch. But it's pretty fun. It's great. Yes.

And, yeah, get in contact with us on email if you've got any thoughts about anything at all. Jess would love to hear from you. Do go on blog. You get a lot of spam lately, so I would love a genuine email, yeah. You know, it used to be overwhelming. Now I'm like, oh, it's just all spam. I can delete again. I, um, I, my stupid old email, I realized that it, I went, someone said, I've emailed you

something. And I said, I haven't got an email for nine days. And I spoke to Evan. And he's like, oh, yeah, we change hosts. I message you about it. You need to access it somewhere else. I'm just like, I haven't even noticed that my email's been off for nine days. So, yeah.

So anyway, send Jess an email. Yeah, do that. All right. Well, thank you so much for listening to another episode of two go on. We'll be back next week. But until then, I'll say thank you. And goodbye. Later.

Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcast. from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are

and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram,

click our link tree. Very, very easy. It means we know to come to you and you'll also know that we're coming to you. Yeah, we'll come to you. You come to us. Very good. And we give you a spam-free guarantee.