Do Go On - 250 - The Mad Trapper Of Rat River
Episode Date: August 5, 2020Our 250th episode is all about the Mad Trapper Of Rat River. When Canadian authorities paid a visit to a remote log cabin, they didn't expect the man inside to shoot at them through door and then lead... them on one of the longest and most grueling manhunts in history.Buy tickets to our live streamed shows, including episode 250 and this coming August 8: https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoonSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodCheck out our web series: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2TuMQ31VXvqqEus9Bo6FZW-dDY5ukEuh Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: dogoonpod@gmail.comCheck out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:Alan Phillips, Who was the Mad Trapper Of Rat River, Macleans 1955:https://archive.macleans.ca/article/1955/10/1/who-was-the-mad-trapper-of-rat-river#!&pid=28Canadian Encyclopedia, Edward Butts:https://thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/albert-johnsonhttps://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/article/wilfrid-reid-mayAll That’s Interesting, a really great article by Andrew Lenoirhttps://allthatsinteresting.com/mad-trapper-albert-johnson
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you.
And we should also say this is 2026.
Jess, what year is it?
2026.
Thank God you're here.
Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun.
We'd love to see you there.
Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.
If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows.
That's going to be so much fun.
Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online.
And I'm here too.
This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network.
Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.
Hey everyone, just Dave here dropping in at the start of the episode to tell you that what you're about to hear is our 250th episode.
Whoa.
And because of that, it was recorded and streamed live at Stupid Old Studios.
And if you want to watch the fun, you can still catch up on it at SOSPresents.com.
And if you get a ticket to that, you can also get a season pass, which means you can watch the last.
two weeks episodes, as well as our final stream this Saturday, August the 8th, 12pm, Melbourne
time.
And if you have a ticket to this one, it also means we had our 250th birthday party after that,
which was a lot of fun, and we had all our former report givers sending in videos for a fun
quiz.
So if you have a ticket, you'll see the likes of Nick Mason, Mr. Sunday movies, Claire Tonte,
Alistair and Andy from Two in the Think Tank, Joel Dusha, Carl Chandler, Josh Earl, Naomi Higgins,
Sam Tonkin from Listen Now
Ah, it was such a great time
The only other thing I have to say is
You'll notice that Matt's microphone
Sounds a little different to ours
That's because Matt was feeling a little under the weather
So just to be safe
He went and got a COVID test
And was isolating from us
Which he's since been absolutely cleared of
But yeah, his microphone sounds a little bit
different to ours
But you can absolutely hear him fine
So I hope you enjoy this episode
We'll be back with 251 next week
Until then
Here it is
250
Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On.
My name is Dave Warnocky and as always I'm joined by Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello for what is the 250th time guys.
Yeah and God we look good.
We look great.
For 250 we look very good.
250 episodes young.
Yeah.
Has any other podcast ever done 250 episodes?
I actually checked in the Guinness World Record.
book, also known as the Guinness Book of Records.
And we are the most prolific podcast of all time.
Get out of town.
Did you know that, Matt?
And that's not even including the bonus episodes
and all the amazing extra content we put out for people.
That's right.
Is this an information now?
It is now.
So yeah.
You'll never believe where I got the balloons for today.
I got them at Lombard the Paper People for all your party needs.
For the people at home who are listening to this podcast right now,
we are surrounded by balloons and we're wearing party hats
because we get into any occasion we can.
Yes, we love it.
We love to dress for an occasion.
There you go, Matt's put a hat on.
Hey!
And the transition to serial killer is complete.
Well, I know we've done it 250 times now,
but the only person that's been here for all 250 episodes
is the legend that is Matt Stewart.
So I'm going to ask you, Matt, how does this show work?
You know it more than anyone else.
Oh, great.
Thank you so much for asking.
I'll feel this one.
So why it works is one of the three of us goes away
and research is a topic that's been suggested by usually a listener,
but could be anyone, could be my dad, like it was last week.
And then while they go away and they research the shit out of it
and then they take that knowledge back to the group
and report on what they've learned in the form of a report,
and then the other two are annoying a bit.
And yeah, it's fun, but we learn and laugh.
Wow, those words were as fresh as they were 249 weeks ago.
Thank you so much for that explanation.
It is my turn to do the report this week,
and we always start with a question,
and to get us onto topic, I'll ask that question.
And my question to both of you now is,
Albert Johnson is better known to history
under what bad-ass name.
What bad-ass name?
I'm wondering if you've seen this one in the hat before,
I will confirm that for the 250th episode,
I put out five topics for the Patreon supporters to vote on,
stuff that I've always wanted to do on this show,
and this is the topic that I've put up to vote more times than any other,
and it always came second.
Really?
And I reckon that maybe you would have seen it in the hat.
Is it Albert Fish?
Well, what do Fish live in?
Did you say a river?
River Phoenix.
No, it is.
This man is known as the something of Rat River.
I thought that maybe you would have seen it because the title does stick out.
King.
Prince.
He's a mad something of Rat River.
Boter.
The mad captain.
Matt, help me out here.
Mad.
Mad captain of Rat River sounds good.
Yeah, Mad Hatter.
Oh, Hatter's really close.
Mad.
Mad box.
Mad windows.
It sounds close.
It is, I'll just reveal it for you.
It is the mad trapper of Rat River.
Have you seen this topic in the hat before?
I don't know if I have.
The Mad Trapper of, it stood out to me for years now.
And I wanted to do it.
Because of Rat River.
The mad trapper of Rat River.
It's got everything, like you say.
Have you heard of this one, Matt?
That rings the bell for sure.
Yeah.
I reckon I put it up to vote.
This is the fifth time, and it's finally come up Trump's for $2.50.
So.
Wow.
I was saving it for a special occasion.
Yeah.
Well done to the people who voted.
Yeah, the patron supporters, they know what they're doing.
Hopefully, you've made a good decision.
I feel like you have.
I think they have.
I'm already excited.
You seriously, you're cracking a beer.
I'm so jealous.
Matt's cracking a beer.
Love it.
All right.
This topics have been suggested by a few people over the years.
And thank you to Troy Baker, Chris Kerr, Yana from Hamburg,
Dave Rogers, Tim Randall and Derek Cluthier.
Oh.
More.
Many of which, apart from Jan Arna from Hamburg, are all Canadian listeners, apart from Tim Randall, actually, he's also Australian.
But most of those are Canadian listeners because this is a Canadian topic.
Okay.
So let's crack into our 250th report, The Mad Trapper of Rat River.
Now, our story starts near Fort McPherson, an isolated spot in the Northwest Territories of Canada.
In July of 1931, a stranger arrived in the small town.
Consisting of just a few cabins in a small trading post, Fort McPherson was such a tiny and isolated community that any newcomer very much stood out.
The stranger had arrived on a raft on Peel River and calmly walked into the log trading post to get supplies.
The man behind the counter, Bill Douglas, sized up his new customer.
The stranger was about 5'10 with blue eyes and had brown hair, probably about the counter.
Probably about 35 years old, but his face was weathered, not uncommon for men who lived in work in the wilderness around these parts.
Canadian magazine McLeans described the man as, quote, a most unlikely material for romance.
Okay.
Brutal.
What?
So he's an Rgo.
It doesn't sound like the most welcoming town.
No, yeah.
He just walks in to buy some stuff and they're like...
Size him up.
What brings you around these parts, that kind of.
Yeah, it's like, oh, you better be passing through.
Yeah, huh?
And you better not be here for a romance because your face is unlikely to get anything.
And only hotties here.
I should also say that the town was full of supermodels, so any ugly people really much stood out.
Really stood out.
I hate visiting those towns.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
You're like, oh, I just need to get milk, but I got to put on a freaking ball gown.
I made it a dress coat at the milk bar.
Just want to bubble a bit of ice cream.
Not in those thongs.
The footwear.
A bit of fun.
Bill Douglas, is the man behind the counter, sizing up his new customer.
Try to make a bit of small talk with the man.
You know, work out where he was from and where he was heading.
But the man only spoke to order supplies and dodged any sort of interrogation.
Right.
Just changing the subject.
Where are you from?
What's that?
Over there.
Yeah.
I'll love a fishing rod.
Yeah.
Works every time.
it was eventually established that the man's name
was Albert Johnson.
Albert Johnson.
This is almost certainly an alias,
but for now, that is what we'll call him.
Bert Johnson.
It's a pretty good name.
I don't mind it.
Bertie Jay?
I like that.
I like that.
You thought the cover Albert Johnson
was covering for his real name,
Bert Johnson.
I'll never figure it out.
I think that, yeah, you need to get on the code.
Crack the case.
He spoke with him.
with a faint Scandinavian accent.
Oh, what's that sound like?
And people speculated that he may have come from Denmark.
Way to dodge that.
Me trying to throw you under the bus.
I thought you were talking about it.
How does a Danish accent sound?
I went to school with a Danish guy.
So, yeah, I know that's pretty well.
Have I told you about him before?
He got the nickname Denmark.
Oh, that's good.
That was clever.
Where did they get that from?
I'm not sure.
I never cracked that code.
It's like...
I think it sounded a bit like
Hello,
how's it going.
Yeah, that is pretty smart actually.
Well, I can understand why they call him Denmark.
Because it's a faint accent, remember?
Yeah.
So faint that it was almost non-existent.
It's like a girl that came to my school in about year 10,
Tanya, and we called her Canada.
She was from Canada.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
In primary school, in prep first grade here, we had a girl in our class called Amy French.
Oh, yep.
The teacher had to call a meeting to explain that that was just her name and that she was not in fact French.
She had to call a meeting.
Yeah, because we were all like like, she was French and the teacher had to be like, no, no, her name is just French.
She is not friends.
What do you mean you were all acting like she was French?
How do you act when someone nearby is French?
Well, you know, well, you know, come on.
Kids.
I like how he called a meeting.
Like you're all business partners at this school.
We're calling a meeting.
Shareholders.
We call that detention where I went to school.
Yeah, I think you had a detention.
No, we were brought into the boardroom.
We all had to sell our stocks.
It was very fun.
So you heard a faint Scandinavian accent, possibly from Denmark, but he never told them that.
In fact, he never told them anything.
Okay.
You spent several thousand dollars on supplies over the next few days,
which was a very sizable sum of money in those days.
And it was very obvious he was getting ready to trap.
That is, trapping animals for their fur pelts
that would be sold for large sums of money.
Oh, okay.
So that's why he's called the Mad Trapper.
Mad trapper, got it.
During the Great Depression, fur trading had proved to be one of the few lucrative professions,
so it wasn't too uncommon for strangers to arrive in these very isolated areas
to try their luck.
Yeah.
A bit like gold mining 80 years earlier.
What was different about this man is that he didn't seem to be struggling for money at all.
Judging by the cash that he carried, he seemed quite wealthy.
But what if the cash that he carried was everything?
Yes, he's got his life savings.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Like, I might look wealthy if I got $100 in my wallet, because we don't really carry cash anymore.
But if that's all I've got.
That's everything.
That's everything.
That's everything.
I cleaned out the vault for this hundred.
I wanted to feel rich.
And then I realized, oh, things are not good for me right now.
I'm so sorry.
As he was preparing to go trapping over the next few days,
people began to talk about the newcomer.
Became the talk of this very small town.
Police officer, a mountie named Edgar Millen,
widely known as Newt.
Oof, like that.
Well, Newt came to town.
He was on a routine patrol,
but had heard about Johnson from First Nations people in the area.
So everyone's talking about this guy.
Douglas, who'd sold the supplies to the newcomer,
told Newt the Mountie that he reckoned with the supplies,
the man had bought, and the few questions he'd asked about the area, that he guessed the man was probably going to head up Rat River.
Rat River!
That old, Rat River.
I love how gossipy this town is.
But even the Mountie's like, sir, what's the deal with this guy?
You know, like, get over.
Yeah, for sure, people are being arrested based on rumour in this town.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
The Mountie Newt decided he'd better have a chat to Johnson.
To work out of you was heading up Rat River and to find out if he knew just how dangerous and unforgiving this part of the world would be.
So I'll just go give him a bit of it.
Give him a talking to.
See if he works out what he's getting into.
When Newt found Johnson, he was assembling his gear and getting ready to leave.
He was certainly not happy to see the police officer.
Johnson reluctantly shook them out his hand.
Newt asked Johnson where he'd come from and he gave an answer that contradicted the direction that had actually been seen to arrive from.
Oh, okay.
So Newt knew he was lying,
I started to let it go.
Yep.
Catch him in the lie.
Yeah.
Ask him a few more questions,
which Johnson was evasive with his answers
and said he wasn't sure how long he was planning to stay
or where he intended to go.
Basically gave Newt nothing.
When Johnson mentioned Rat River as a possible destination,
Newt was shocked to hear it confirmed
because it was a perilous journey.
Newt asked if Johnson was going alone
and strongly suggested that he should hire a local guide.
Okay.
Again from McLean's magazine.
No, Johnson said violently.
I don't want people bothering me.
I like to live alone.
You police just cause me trouble.
Trouble.
I was like, oh, did I hear right?
Trouble.
Sorry, did you hear a slight Scandinavian accent there?
Yeah, trouble.
They can't say B.
They can't.
No, they can't do it.
It's a bit of a V instead.
It's very cute.
You police just calls me trouble.
Trouble.
I don't want nothing to do with you.
You want to know all about me?
All right.
I'm not staying here.
If I'm not staying here, you don't have to know all about me.
A?
Yes.
So, blending in there with the Canadian A,
basically told the police officer,
off, I'm not your problem, I'm about to go.
Finally, Newt offered to sell Johnson a trapping license.
Without one, trapping would be illegal.
And if you bought one now, it would save Johnson a trip back into town later.
Okay, but is it at a higher price now, Newt?
No, apparently not.
I was just basically doing him a favour.
Get the hunting licence now.
You look like you're going trapping.
Buy it now.
Don't worry about it later.
But Johnson said, no thanks.
I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet.
Okay.
And with that, he set off into the wilderness,
and that was the last we heard from him for a while.
For a while.
So the story does not end here.
No, this is but the introduction.
Matt, what do you think so far?
Are you a fan of this Bert Johnson, aka Albert Johnson,
aka Albert Johnson?
Well, it just seems like a guy's going about his business, right?
Yeah.
Feels like we're crying, just talking about him.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're a couple of sickos here.
Real nosy Nellies.
Yeah, what is this?
You guys belong in that town.
You guys are probably from Rat River the way you go about it.
I love Goss.
I love Goss.
Yeah, you do.
You rat.
You love ratting.
I'm an absolute rat.
You love ratting on Rat River.
Give us some Goss book.
Oh, well.
What do you know?
How long you got.
Anyway, Dave, do go on.
He's going to say, probably about a 30-second talk.
break there and then I'll move on with the report.
But no, no, Goss, okay.
So the last we heard from him, that was July.
What year?
What year is this?
1931.
The 30s.
But by December, the freezing snow and winter had well and truly set in.
And I mean freezing.
The weather during this time and this part of the world regularly dips as low as negative 40 degrees.
December, is that not the summer?
No?
No.
Hot our summer.
Yeah.
I was like, oh my God, Dave, you sound so stupid right now.
Imagine if it was their summer.
I'm like, yeah, it is their summer and it's top of negative 40.
I was so confused.
But that's our summer.
It's hot for us in December.
So in the...
Quite cold for them up there.
In the northern hemisphere.
As you were just explaining.
This is very far north Canada, absolutely.
I have a degree.
I'm a degree.
tertiary educated person.
And you've got a derogian meteorology as well.
Yeah.
How'd I get that?
I paid for it.
Just for our international listeners, that is our negative 40 in both Celsius and Fahrenheit.
What do you mean?
Whoa.
What does that mean?
The one temperature where they match up on the scale is negative 40.
Do you know that?
It's a good trivia fact for you if you ever need to wheel that one out of the pub quiz.
That's fascinating.
Minus 40, both Celsius and Fahrenheit.
So we can all agree it's fucking cold.
That's awful cold.
I don't know. What does that even mean?
Negative 40 is, that's like real cold.
It's like colder than your freezer.
Am I right?
If you're in your freezer, that's colder than that.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's the kind of thing where you'd sleep in the freezer for warmth.
Yeah.
It's the kind of thing where your snot freezes in your nose.
Oh, no, Jess, please.
We're at a polite dinner party now.
No talking like that.
Thank you.
I always talk about snot at dinner parties.
Yeah, it's one of your traits.
I'm snot girl.
Great.
I don't get invited to a lot of parties.
Well, I live in my truth.
So it's during this very cold time that stories of Johnson began to emerge.
Local First Nations people complained to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, Mounties.
Dudley Doeroy.
Yeah.
Brenda Fraser.
Cannot wait for that with Frangley in the bar.
They complained that a strange white man had failed to get up Rat Rapids
and had built a small 8 by 10 foot cabin near a trap line
that they'd been using for centuries.
they said that this man was springing their traps,
so setting them off prematurely,
or throwing them into the forest
and then illegally setting up his own in their place.
Oh, okay.
So these people, they've been trapping there for centuries,
and they have the right to do that.
So he set up, he's set up a home for himself.
Down I go.
I've had a fall.
That's bad news.
It is worrying when the oldies have a fall.
It sounded like you were cleaning out the garage before.
You felt, you were doing a bit of spring cleaning during this report?
Sorry, while you had gone on with your jibba jabber,
I thought I'd get a few things done around the house.
Around the shed.
It's a house for me.
A man's shed is his home, Jeff.
No, that man's shed is that man's home.
That's sad man.
But speaking of sad men in sheds,
So this guy has set up...
Did you say he's like made a little cabin for himself?
Eight by ten foot.
So not very big.
That's not bad.
Jesus, Lardi Dar over here.
Oh, wait, foot.
Yeah, sorry.
It's about three by two point four meters.
I think of meters again.
What is wrong with me?
I can't get anything right today.
It's almost like...
Yet I keep trying.
So the First Nations people were complaining that he was setting up their traps
and just like fucking up their hunting.
The first complaint came through on Christmas Day.
So this is secretly a Christmas episode.
Merry Christmas, everybody.
Merry Christmas.
Christmas in July.
I mean, it's August.
Damn it.
So close.
So two officers decided to go and pay Albert Johnson a visit.
Because their territory is so large and unforgiving,
it took three days just to get there.
Wow.
It's unbelievable how much territory they got to cover.
When Constable Alfred King
and special constable Joe Bernard.
Oh, how do you be a special constable?
I feel like I'd be a special one.
I'd get to wear a different kind of glittery badge or something.
They give you a plastic gun.
Yeah, that'd be me.
When they finally arrived to Johnson's cabin to question him,
he simply refused to answer the door.
Oh, that old chest up.
So the officers had to turn around and travel 128 kilometres or 80 miles back
just to get a search warrant.
So you travelled all that way, knock, knock, knock.
He doesn't answer, so they have to trek three days back.
I mean, think ahead and just, why not just get that in the first place?
You know what he's like.
Their plan had been just to have a chat with him,
tell him that he wasn't allowed to trap in this area,
and that was probably it.
Give him a warning.
So they thought it was going to be no big deal.
Yeah.
So on December 31st, so yes, this is secretly a New Year's episode.
Happy New Year, everybody.
It was another three-day trip, but they got there,
and this time King and Bernard were being.
backed up by constable R. D. McDowell.
Oof.
And brace yourself for this, Jess.
Special constable Lazarus, Citi Chinley.
Yes.
What?
Citi Chinley.
City Chinley.
I've written that out for any clues.
City Chinley.
Great name.
Everyone have a go at home.
City Chinley.
City Chinley.
That's great.
A bit of fun.
Lazarus, too.
First name Lazarus.
So good.
This time they'd made a cracking pace back to the cabin.
King was impatient to finish this business in time to get back to shopkeep Bill Douglas' famous New Year's Eve party.
Being held back in town.
They're like, we've got to wrap this up in the morning.
First thing so we can get back by midnight so we can party with Bill Douglas.
You know his parties.
He's got the best cocaine.
They're legendary.
Lot of snow outside, best know inside.
Bill Douglas is out.
And inside, my nose.
So that's what they're thinking about.
They're thinking about the party.
Love that.
This is still routine.
They've got the search warrant now.
So they knock on the door and no one answered.
So this time they got a search warrant.
They tried to force the door and then boom!
Albert shot at them through the door,
hitting King and knocking him into the snow.
He was badly wounded having been shot in the stomach.
Oh, that's bad.
The officers fired back briefly before tending to King's wounds
and loading him onto a sled before making the frantic trek back to get medical help.
Fortunately, King would survive his injuries.
No word if he ever made it to Bill Douglas' New Year's Eve party.
Probably not, I reckon.
Probably not.
If he's been shot in the tum and he's got to be in hospital for a bit,
yeah, I don't reckon they'd let him out for the party.
I don't think so.
Nurses are, they're real sticklers like that.
No, unfortunately you do need to stay in hospital.
They're keeping you alive.
I don't care.
I've got some little.
party I was here.
It'll be a bit of fun.
The nurses are like,
if I've got to miss out
on Bill Douglas's party and work,
I do the short straw,
then you've got to stay here too.
I'll give you a thimble of shampers
and a little bumper coke, all right?
Jeez Louise.
Medieval, can we get 10 CCs of cocaine down here?
That's what CC stands for, I believe.
But now it was fully on.
Albert Johnson was a proper wanted man now.
Oh man.
He's just gone to war with the Mounties.
The nicest police.
I know, I know.
But now I'm mad.
They turn their hat backwards.
It's the same hat.
But now we're giving revenge.
Before it was quite minor of illegally trapping.
They were going to have a chat to him.
But now it was a tempted murder of a police officer.
Yeah.
So they're taking this quite personally.
Inspector Alexander Eames led the party with Bernard
and a much larger group of nine men this time.
So they'd brought in the cavalry.
They got in Alexander Eames.
So it's Eames and...
nine men.
So 10 in total.
10.
And 42 dogs.
Okay.
Laid in with supplies.
Leave two dogs back.
But I'm happy with the 10 men.
That's the meaning of life number, isn't it, Dave?
42 dogs?
Yes.
Yes, 42 dogs.
It all makes sense.
They reached the cabin on January 9 after taking a long overland route guided by First Nations people.
They didn't want to take the normal route for fear of an ambush.
Sure.
So they went the back way.
Being guided through the horrible terrain.
They arrived at the cabin and could hear a man inside,
so Inspector Eames called out to the man to surrender as he was now surrounded.
When they say you can hear someone inside, do you reckon he's singing to himself?
When the moon hits your eye.
Or he's baking.
Pots and pans?
He's taking a really loud dump.
Surrender.
Hang on.
Wrap up your business first.
Just a minute.
Occupied.
But there was no answer. Can you believe that again?
They called out and said surrender, mate. No answer.
You don't say. That doesn't seem like him.
I wonder if everything's okay.
As lawmen approached the silent cabin.
It went silent. Shots rang out from within.
Johnson was firing at them with a shotgun and a rifle and they had to retreat.
So he was shooting at them through the door again.
Two men got close enough to the door to attempt to force it open,
but Johnson again opened fire and they were driven back.
Eames, our inspector, realizing that Johnson wasn't going to give up quietly,
gave the direction to bring in the cavalry.
And I don't mean horses.
I mean dynamite.
Oh, okay, great.
I thought he was just going to send some dogs in.
I'm like, I mean, dogs are pretty clever.
I'm not sure if they could open the door like that.
Yeah, I know.
What if you attach the dynamite to the dogs, Bob?
Well, you did say that there was 42.
You did say there were two too many.
Don't you make me blind.
up dogs.
Don't make me do that.
You said it, Jess.
You could have asked for eight more,
but you specifically asked to kill two dogs.
I said leave two at home.
Give him a day off.
I actually think that...
We all knew what that meant.
The ultimate day off.
I think in World War II they actually tried that.
Oh my God.
Maybe possibly the First World War, actually.
To blow up tanks.
Oh, it's strutonemite to a dog,
which is obviously horrific.
I'm only laughing because it went
and still this is nothing to laugh at
it went wrong because the dog would often
come back and blow up the people
that had sent it.
Of course they do.
Because they're like, oh my friend.
And they'll be like, no!
No! And they'd be like, yeah, you're yelling at me.
You love me!
Bounding, they're like, no, no.
So that did well.
They think the dynamite stick
is like a normal fetch stick.
Yeah.
They throw the dynamite.
You wanted this back right.
So, but in this,
This thing, back to Canada, they lit a few sticks of dynamite and threw them on the roof of the cabin,
eventually blowing off the roof and partially collapsing one of the walls.
Shit.
When the huge echoes of the explosion stopped ringing out on the snowy mountains that surrounded them,
everything went still, became quiet.
The mounties closed in on the rubbet.
The rubble.
The rubble.
The rubble of where the log cabin once stood,
getting ready to sift through the rubble of the remains of the outlaw.
Yeah, right.
They're expecting to find a body.
Yep.
And that's when Johnson emerged from within the rubble and again opened fire.
No, he didn't.
Oh my God.
What are you doing?
They blew this man's house up around him.
What's he hiding?
And then he basically kicked out the rubble and with two shotguns and just started
Arnold Schwarzeneggering back at them.
You've just made him angry is all you've done.
I know.
Like, why is he doing this?
The question is how had he survived?
It was later discovered that he dug a deep trench inside.
the cabin that had formed a series of bunkers.
He was shielded by a double barrier of logs
sunk at least three feet into the earth
and had been waiting for their arrival.
Oh my God.
What? Why? Why?
What was he...
What's he doing?
Well, he shot a police officer and he thought
they're probably not going to let this go.
So why do that in the first place? Just answer the freaking door.
No.
Just say, hello. Oh, I'm not allowed. Fair enough.
Sorry about that.
I'm new to the area.
Have a lovely day.
And then when they turn around, shoot them in the back.
Totally.
No, don't do that.
Don't do that.
Don't do that, Albert Johnson.
But he did do that.
And then after this, they're sifting to the rubble.
He comes out, starts shooting at them.
They have to retreat again and a 15-hour gunfight broke out.
Oh, my God.
That's too many hours of gunfight.
I mean...
No, thank you.
I get hungry.
15 hours I got to be out here shooting.
I don't want to do anything for 15 hours.
It might have been a lot.
snack break, Bob.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
Do they stop for lunch?
Yeah, for sure, absolutely.
And afternoon tea.
Oh, okay, that's nice.
But it lasted well into the early morning hours,
despite the 43 below zero temperatures.
No.
That's a no from Bob.
That's a no from me, thanks.
No one was injured, but the Mounties decided to withdraw to get more supplies and reinforcements.
No one was injured.
15 hours of gunfight, no one was injured.
So neither side achieved anything.
Basically.
He was a stalemate.
It was a trench.
warfare all over again.
News of the unknown gunman made it to the press.
They dubbed the mysterious figure, the mad trapper of Rat River.
Love that.
The story of a man defying the famous mounted police from within his Arctic fortress fascinated
the public.
This is according to the Canadian encyclopedia, and I trust this source with my life
because it was written by a man called Edward Butts.
Yep.
Good stuff.
I love you, Edward Butts.
This is what Butts writes about the man Trapper and the fascination.
A public mired in the depths of the Great Depression sympathized with the figure.
Inspector Eames stated that Johnson was not a demented trapper,
but a shrewd and resolute man, a tough and desperate character.
End quote from there.
As the northern drama unfolded, the public eagerly awaited the latest developments.
So according to Butts, he became big news around Canada.
Wow.
He's a celebrity.
Yeah, people were loving this.
It's a bit of an outlaw,
Ned Kelly type story.
And you know what people love to do with celebs?
Gossip about them.
Oh, yeah.
Love a bit of goss.
Hey?
Love a bit of goss.
Go on.
What's the goss on e-buts, Bob?
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah.
Wow, you said it.
You didn't hear it from me.
Can I just say that that is allegedly.
Yeah, allegedly.
That is, that's some spicy stuff.
Uh, the police.
returned to the cabin a few days later on January 14th, 1932, and they found that Johnson
had fled. A massive blizzard had struck the area which covered Johnson's tracks.
We didn't have a roof anymore, so I don't blame him for fleeing.
Yeah, fair enough. He went to find a roof.
So his tracks were covered, but the blizzard made it very hard going for the Mounties,
and they assumed that it would also make it hard for Johnson himself.
With no shelter to protect him, they were certain a stranger to the area would struggle to survive,
probably die pretty quickly.
Yeah.
He had no dogs to carry supplies.
He was out there on his own.
All he had was the clothing on his back and a couple of guns.
But Johnson was no fool.
He travelled on frozen rivers to avoid leaving a trail.
Where possible, he followed caribou trails,
an effective way of disguising his own tracks.
He often doubled back on himself
and even attempted to outsmart the Mounties on his trail
by walking with his snow shoes on backwards.
But they also just said they couldn't track him,
But he's still like,
O,
O, Oveigh them.
And they're like,
we can't find your trail anyway, mate.
But when they do pick it up, they're like,
is this guy going backwards?
Wow.
Okay.
Is this guy a cariboo?
Is this guy a river?
He's all of these things.
He found his way through underbrush
that seemed impenetrable to anyone else.
And to avoid giving away his position,
he was only able to build small fires
when they were shielded by snow banks.
So according to,
to the Canadian Psychopletia again, Butsy,
quote, he travelled in weather that kept
even experienced First Nations hunters
in their camps and used the terrain
to his advantage at every opportunity.
Wow.
He's just got a knack for getting through the wilderness.
All the while, this guy's legend
is growing in the local media.
Unbeknownst to him out there in the wilderness,
he is quickly becoming a fascinating
outlaw hero.
Okay.
All right.
This isn't the type of life I would want,
but...
It's a tough life.
life.
If Johnson wants to do that, that's cool.
Sure, go for it, I guess.
Shoot it some cops.
Well, he had to again because the police didn't catch up to him until January 30,
three weeks since they'd blown up his cabin.
Oh, my God.
So three weeks on the run, they spotted Johnson and opened fired on him before he dived into a bush.
He was hauled up beside a cliff face and looking like he was pinned down,
Constable Edgar Millen, aka Newt, from the start of the story, called out for Johnson to surrender.
Johnson responded by firing his rifle.
Of course he did.
It's the only way he knows.
The only language he speaks.
Possibly Morse code?
No, no.
Piss off.
Well, the shot hit Millen in the heart and killed Newt instantly.
Oh, no, not Newt.
I know.
Yeah.
I know very little about Newt, but I liked him.
He seemed all right.
Yeah.
I didn't read this anywhere else
but one of our favourite websites
all that's interesting.com writes
Afterward, police...
You definitely just said dot com.
Well, I told you was my favourite website.
Sorry.
They write that after the shot,
afterwards, police swore they heard Johnson cackle.
Oh, that sounds about right.
Bad boy.
The other officers retrieved
Newt's body and by the time they got back
to where Johnson had last been seen,
he had again disappeared.
How?
Having escaped under the cover of darkness by climbing an almost vertical cliff.
This guy's a psycho.
He's like some sort of non-giving up school guy.
It's all because he just wanted to be left alone.
I know.
He just wanted some peace and quiet.
He's got to be hiding something, right?
Well, the mount he's inspected where he'd been next to the cliff and discovered that he appeared to be unwounded.
No sign of any injury, no blood.
They realized that the spot where they thought,
What he'd been pinned down was in fact a makeshift foxhole that he'd made by reinforcing several spruce trees and roots.
So again, he'd been prepared for them to come.
He'd built like a fortress.
Having climbed the cliff and got yet another head start, they guessed he was intending to walk across the mountains to freedom.
What do you mean to freedom?
They thought he might be heading for Alaska.
And once he got there, they thought he might disappear forever.
Yeah, right.
So they went after the fugitive, but this time they called in some re-induced.
enforcement.
More dogs.
More dogs and more dynamo.
They called in a plane captained by the renowned
Bush pilot Wilfred Wop May.
Yes.
So many, every name in this has been fantastic.
The 30s, they knew how to name kids.
I'll say it.
You know?
Wop.
When he was a rookie in World War I, Wop, the pilot,
was the last person pursued by the famous Red Baron
who was gunned down as he went after Wop.
So this guy's got a cool, cool resume as a pilot.
He's a bad ass.
He's a badass.
He's seen it all.
So the plane was a great step up in two ways.
It could be used to resupply the Mounties.
In a few hours, he could give them new men, new food, all that sort of stuff.
And it could also track Johnson from the air.
Yeah, okay.
Meanwhile, the trapper, our outlaw hero, Johnson found the conditions to be finally taking their toll.
It'd been on the run for weeks without any real shelter and conditions that never rose above freezing.
never even at the hottest part of the day he's not even stopping in at the supermarket for snacks
no maybe dave just not telling that part of the story Dave you telling the whole story
yeah he uh stopped at Kmart and he bought himself a schnood yeah great so he's snug at there but
it's white so you can't even see it in the air yeah you can't see schnoot and he got a bucket of
skittles it's really big buckets but you only see it came out I know and then your hands becomes a rainbow
Yeah.
You decide it's a good idea and then you get one handful in.
You're like, I've made terrible mistake.
This was $10.
And that was his undoing, the Skittles.
Because he dropped him.
Left a colourful trail.
Yeah, he left a trail of orange ones because he doesn't like those flavors.
He's a psycho.
Orange are delicious.
Really?
Green can fuck off.
Yeah, green am I least favourite.
Green apple, no thanks.
But it never rose above zero.
So suffering from frostbite, he couldn't hunt with his gun.
for fearing of giving away his position
and now he was slowly starving to death.
Okay.
He's got no food.
His skills run out.
I don't,
but I don't feel like
he's going to get what,
like I'm just so confused
as to why this all started
just because he was like,
no,
leave me alone.
I know.
And because some cops came to have
a nice conversation,
polite chat to him
and he shot at him.
And now he's just on the run.
That's how they tell it, Jeff.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
You're siding with the bad boy.
You're always,
Oh, no kidding.
We always do.
We have each other's backs.
Bad boys.
And then shoot each other in the stomach.
Yeah.
Because they're bad.
Boys.
Look, I say he's starving to death.
Having said that Johnson still gave them a run for their money.
In early February, Johnson was spotted from the air, so on the ground two groups set out to corner him.
They split the party.
No, don't split the party.
To try and cut him off.
Mathematically, I don't think two groups can corner someone.
He fucking.
Oh no. Dave, you just got fucking got, mate. Good one, Matt. Good pick up there. Can I tell you that
the trapper is also a school of mathematics because they did not corner him? They tried to cut him off,
but the two groups ran into each other before finding anything other other than a trail where he'd been.
So they'd been like, go around the back. Oh, come out at the front. And they found each other before they found him.
That's nice. Not to get down each other, though. Yeah.
That is nice. He slipped into their finger again.
they found themselves.
That's why a lot of people go to the wilderness,
just to find themselves.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
These guys are going about it all wrong,
trying to find a mad hatter or whatever this guy is.
Yeah.
Different.
Different.
Find yourself first.
Find yourself first.
Love yourself first before anyone can love you.
Yes.
Yes.
You've got to love you first.
Right.
I'm learning so much.
Yeah.
This is, we're getting, Dave,
without help, won't be a virgin forever.
Dave, love yourself and then people will love you.
Basically, you know what that means.
Give yourself a bit of self-love.
Mate, I've been doing that for years.
I mean, my resume is quite long.
All right.
Keep at it.
It's not the only thing.
It's quite long, eh?
Or is it?
Maybe it is.
Don't answer that, Dave.
Answer the question, Dave.
Is this thing on?
On February 9th, the Blizzard grounded maze.
plane and this is Wop, and kept ground patrols in their camps.
Three days later, the police received the astonishing report that under the same harrowing
conditions, Johnson had crossed the Richardson Mountains.
It seemed like an almost impossible feat.
So they can't even go outside.
He's crossing mountains.
Has he got some kind of ski do or something?
Have they don't mention that?
I forgot to mention that he had some sort of teleportation device.
Yeah, has he got a segue?
But with chains on the wheels.
Snow.
That's funny.
When rocking up at the bottom of a mountain, they're putting snow chains on cars.
You're on a segue?
Chain around.
Say up there, boys.
It goes vertically up.
This guy's good.
He's actually like he's on a roller coaster.
Why do we think of that?
Well, we just did.
A week later, on February 17, the search party and Johnson ran into each other on a bend of the frozen eagle river.
Both were taken by extreme surprise.
Oh, he wasn't prepared for them this time.
He was backtracking to cover himself.
Basically, it was that thing when you'd come around a corner and go, oh shit.
Yeah.
At first, Johnson tried to run, but then he threw himself down in the snow and opened fire using his backpack for cover.
Inspector Eames again called for his surrender, giving him one last chance to lay down his weapon.
but Johnson wasn't ever going to give up without a fight.
What has he made his backpack of, Dave?
How do you use your backpack for cover?
I'm guessing it's not a little canvas, satchel or something.
No, it's reinforced concrete.
Six feet thick.
That makes sense then.
He was carrying Ned Kelly's mask,
helmet in his backpack.
So he opened fire and shot
Sergeant Earl Hersey
who was severely wounded
although he didn't die
Oh thank God
He shot three officers now though
I hate for Earl to die
Yeah
Earl didn't deserve it
Earl sounds like
He's you know
Two weeks away from retirement
You know
He's got a few grandkids at home
He just wants to go be a good grandpa
Yeah
He's got hers in his name
He's ready to die
Ha
Ha ha ha ha
He's like
I was born ready
But he didn't die
Despite
Despite his destiny
Despite his destiny
And he's still alive
90 years later
Wow
He's the oldest man ever
Wow cool
He's the surprise
I haven't heard of him
I believe that for a little bit too long
Yeah he's one week from retirement then
And it's been a long week
He's still working
He just loves it
He loves a job
Keeps telling his wife, just one more week.
One more week.
And she believes him every week.
So our outlaw has shot another officer.
The officer spread out an open fire.
And despite being shot three times,
the man commonly called the mad trapper kept firing back.
What?
But sadly, all good things must come to an end.
And when Johnson's firing stopped for long enough for the mental approach,
they discovered that he'd been shot through the spine
and died.
Oh.
In total, he'd been shot five times without ever letting out so much as a cry.
This guy's an actual psychopath.
I know.
He sounds like he was on something.
All up, he'd been on the run for 48 days and led the highly skilled Mounties on a 240
kilometer or 150 mile chase through the harshest terrain on earth.
Whoa.
For what?
I know.
The question immediately came, who was he?
Yeah.
What's his deal?
Do you have any inkling as to why someone would do this?
He's like, he's killed someone before, you know, heading off into the mountains or something,
or he's got something to hide.
Love his theory.
Love this.
Surely, because like why else are you just being so immediately hostile?
I get it if you're a bit of a loner and you don't want to be around people.
Okay, you're not here to join the community.
Sure, you're not running for mayor next month.
once but
they'd arrive to tell him you've been nominated for mayor
I just got here
yeah there's only six people that live in this town and everyone else has had it go
everyone else thinks you seem nice you're up so
what do you reckon um and he shot him
he shot him and they're like we're going to take that as a maybe
yeah I reckon he's hiding something Matt what do you reckon
well yeah it's got to he obviously thought they're after him for something else right
otherwise you wouldn't a react it like that so yeah what's he done
maybe he yeah maybe is he d b cooper or something like that does that time out well
he could be a very very young d cooper like if he was some sort of baby oh pre-d-b
well you know how they say that sometimes when babies are born like they can like
hold their breath naturally all that sort of stuff maybe they can also survive in the
wilderness for several weeks i'm willing to test it yeah anybody got a baby i can borrow for
just for like we're going to drop it with a parachute
out in the Alaskan wilderness.
See what happens.
Give it a concrete backpack and two guns.
Good luck to go.
See you later, baby.
That's not me being offensive and calling you baby.
I don't know you're the name and you're a baby.
Yeah, baby.
Well, a careful search of Johnson's body
uncovered no form of identification,
no photographs, no personal mementos.
None had been found at his cabin either.
All it carried were practical
stuff like a razor, a comb, mirror,
fish hooks, matches,
nails, an axe, a pocket compass,
119 shells, so he fired
a lot, but he still a lot of ammo left.
Freshwater pearls, some gold
dust. What?
Was that just the stuff that's at the
bottom of the cornflakes package?
You're saving it for later.
Yeah, I love that stuff.
$2,400 in bills,
which is a lot of money at the time, and a
bottle full of gold teeth,
which didn't match his
dental records. He's just carrying
Or his teeth.
In a bottle.
Gold teeth.
How do you carry your teeth, Jeff?
In a little Ziploc baggie.
Obviously.
Not an animal.
I go phone, keys, wallet, bag of teeth.
All right, I'm ready to go.
And these days, in these trying times,
it's bag, keys, wallet, mask, teeth.
Duh.
A post-mortem was carried out before he was buried in a local
cemetery. The report didn't offer many clues. All it deduced was he was likely in his 30s,
had no tattoos or major identifying marks, it looked like he'd never had any major surgery,
and his fingerprints didn't match any on police records across Canada or in Washington, Stockholm, or London.
It's almost like this guy had never existed. They also traced his weapons and-
Yeah, well, why don't they check Stockholm if he was from Denmark? Shouldn't they have checked Copenhagen?
Yeah, it was a clerical error. They were like, close enough. They were like, close enough.
I'm sure he went to Stockholm during his time.
At some point, I don't know.
They also traced his weapons and banknotes,
and those leads also came to a dead end.
Who is this guy?
Before his body was buried,
police took several pictures of Johnson's corpse.
These were widely distributed,
hoping someone would come forward and recognise him.
Do you know this corpse?
On the back of milk packets and stuff.
who put the corpse in lost property
come and claim him
if you don't claim he's not claim within four weeks
he is up for grabs
yeah and Sharon is king
she's a very lonely woman
I've always wanted to be our own corpse
just want something to hold at night
oh Sharon
no nothing weird
it's just I've got a king bed
and you know I'm on one side
there's nothing on the other
it'd be great to roll over
I mean people have suggested
I get a large body pillow
it's just not the same thing
Someone said I should just get a dog.
But all the dogs here are working for the police.
They've all got dynamite on.
Why get a large body pillow when you can just get a large body?
Exactly.
Cheryl.
So the Mountie said the images to various forms of media,
which of course were happy to cover the already sensational story.
Yeah.
Because they loved it.
It came to a big shootout.
It was a big dramatic finish.
And now they've got pictures of the body.
So it's big news around Canada.
Nothing happened for a while
but eventually a few years later
someone came forward with a tip off
years later.
It was said that the corpse resembled a man
named Arthur Nelson.
In British Columbia in 1925
about six years before all of this
a man who called himself Arthur Nelson
was trapping along the Nelson River.
Nelson had the same description
skills and temperament
and accent as Albert Johnson.
It appeared that Albert Johnson
had moved northward to Yukon,
and where Nelson disappeared,
Albert Johnson had appeared.
Gotcha.
From there, many stories have been put forward over the years,
and it's almost certain that Albert Johnson was also an alias.
These are the stories about Arthur Nelson.
Apparently, he loved the people that remembered seeing him.
He loved local legends about lost gold mines
and often spoke about going out to find them.
Okay.
The theory is, had he found the mine?
and that's why he was so keen to be left alone?
Was he hiding it?
Was he scaring people off,
including the First Nations people,
by throwing away their traps
and also shooting at the police,
hoping that no one would discover his secret mind?
Yes, he had gold teeth on him,
but you wouldn't find that in a mind.
Okay, they're not naturally occurring.
No, not naturally occurring teeth.
Interesting. Okay. Now we've got a clue.
So where did they come from?
A less fancable supposition is that Albert Johnson, when he was known as Nelson...
Was a dentist.
Well, honestly, that made more sense than some of the theories.
They thought that he'd been seen with this other man and then turned up...
He'd been seen with another man trapping alone.
Arthur Nelson was travelling with a friend.
Then Albert Johnson appears on his own.
Had Albert Johnson, aka Arthur Nelson, killed the friend, kept the gold teeth...
Yep.
And then when the Mounties knocked on his door, being like, oh my God, I'm wanted for murder.
Shoot first, ask questions later type thing.
Why, um, like if I murdered either of you guys, I'll be honest, I'm probably not taking your teeth with me.
I know.
That's a bit gross, hey?
Oh, they leave.
They are beautiful, but that's why I want to leave them with you.
Take them to the afterlife with you.
Enjoy those, eh?
Otherwise you have you mush in the afterlife.
It's just mush for you.
That's not fair.
Just because I knew what they say about teeth.
Can't take them.
him with you.
Can't take him with you, mate.
Make the bites of me.
Can't take him with you.
They also say can't live with him.
It's very confusing.
Yeah, it's confusing.
One of the more, so that's one of the theories is that he, like you said, Jess, possibly
was already on the run for another crime.
He assumed that's what they...
And really, they were like, no, mate, we just wanted to talk to you.
Yeah.
One of the more out there theories is that he was a hit man who was hiding out after a job.
Okay.
This would explain why he was such an excellent shot.
He was an amazing marksman and why he had so much cash on him.
Right, yeah.
But apart from that, those are the most, the theories that tie that.
Imagine if someone took a hit out on you and it was actually quite a cheap job,
that'd be offensive, wouldn't it?
Like how much to kill JAS off?
50 bucks?
Honestly, yeah.
Oh, you just pay for my tram ride and I'll do the rest.
Yeah, so 350 should cover it.
Maybe a couple of snacks.
They've got your pin down there like any last request.
And you're like, just one question.
How much are you getting paid for this?
Just so I know.
I would like to know.
50?
Oh, come on.
Yeah, that'd be insulting.
I'm worth more than that.
That's only half me bank vault's worth.
The trappers' remains were exhumed by a forensic team
and submitted for DNA analysis for the television documentary
Hunt for the Mad Trapper, which aired in 2009.
Oh, wow.
Which is available online, and I've watched all seven pixels that made up the upload that I saw.
2009, you think, oh, like, on Reddit, viral videos go all the time.
Check out this HD footage from Japan, Tokyo, 1909.
This is from 2009.
It was very hard to make out.
I kind of understood the gist of the program.
Carrie Gower from Myth Merchant Films
who made the documentary said
We know his age, which is between 30 and 40
We're able to track where he was most likely raised
From 12 or so on
We know that he was either from Midwestern the USA
Or from Northern Europe
In particular, the Scandinavian countries
That's so different
She doesn't know anything
We know their age
Between 30 and 40
That's a big range
we know where they were from
America or Europe
two different continents
I know they
she knows so much
she's narrowed it down
they're from earth
and we're confident
they're alive at the time
pretty confident
pretty confident
but I will not
lock it in
it didn't narrow it down
it basically ruled out
the only thing it ruled out
was that many Canadians
have come forward saying
I think I'm related
to the mad trapper
I think he's Canadian
that's basically
the only thing
it ruled out. That's it.
In Canada, there was a
sort of a
dead poet society scene
where everyone stood up on their desk and said
I'm related to the mad trapper.
No, I'm...
Over the years,
hundreds of people wrote in to say that they knew
who the dead men really was, and the
mounted police investigated every tip off.
Women claimed him as a husband.
People claimed he was a father.
a brother, a son.
He was named as a murderer for Michigan,
a World War I sniper,
an ex-provincial policeman,
all these tip-offs.
My favourite theory is in Ellen Phillips article
in the McLean's magazine.
He says that he could have been, quote,
the blueberry kid,
and then gave no more context as to what that means.
Okay.
And when I googled a blueberry kid,
all that comes up is Violet Beauregard from Willie Wonka.
Could it be?
Well?
Maybe.
Yeah, probably.
I am shocked to tell you that at the end of the day,
the so-called mad trapper of Rat River
might have been just a dude that wanted to be left alone
and didn't like being interrupted in the wilderness,
and that's why I shot at police.
But the truth is, we'll probably never know who he really was.
That's right.
Episode 250 has been a mystery episode all along.
Oh, he bloody got us.
Gotcha. First it was Kishmish, then it was New Year's,
and now it's a mystery episode.
Oh, you've done it all.
Done it all.
Did it have a 50.
I forget how unsatisfying mysteries are.
I know, I'm so sorry.
It is, he was an absolute badass who survived some unbelievable conditions and went on the run for longer than anyone humanly ever could.
Wow.
So it is an amazing story, but we probably will never know the real identity of the mad trapper of Rat River.
Dave, what a story.
Well done.
Thank you so much.
I'm glad it finally got up.
He tries.
Five for five attempts.
I thought it was a cool story.
Yeah, it's a pretty wild story.
And, yeah, unsatisfying and so confusing.
Like, why?
Why do that?
But, anyway, that's for him to decide.
And he did.
But the story ends here.
Well, with that report done and dusted,
that brings us to everyone's favourite section of the show,
which is, of course, our Patreon section.
Yes.
We thank the beautiful people that support the show at petroon.com slash do go on pod.
We can get yourself a number of rewards, we like to call them.
Treasures.
Yes.
Gifts.
Gift.
That's right.
You can get three bonus presies a month.
By that, we mean three bonus episodes.
Including our Patreon-only podcast, phrasing the bar, a report, and usually something else fun.
And there's a whole back catalog to get through as well.
So if you like us and bored an isolation at the moment, I think it's over 75,
bonus episodes to catch up on.
Yeah, there's a lot.
We do a weekly newsletter.
There's a Facebook group.
There's heaps of good stuff.
So, yeah, you should, um, if you'd like to, you can absolutely, uh, do, join us at
Patreon.com forward slash do go on pod.
And you may have noticed it's just the two of us speaking now.
Just the two of us.
Just the two of us.
Um, yes, that's right.
Uh, Matt, as you might have picked up, was, uh, via satellite.
for this week's episode.
So Dave and I are just here in the studio to do this section by ourselves.
And that's fine.
We're fine without him.
Without our oldest and dearest member.
And it's kind of worked out nicely because the last couple of weeks he's sort of put me in
charge of doing the fact quote or question.
So, you know, it's sort of like I've had a bit of guidance.
I've had some training with him being my co-pilot just sitting there helping me.
And now he's like, spread your wings, little one.
you can do it.
The student has become, well, the professor.
Yes.
Does that make sense?
I think so, yes.
Thank you.
He's still a teacher, but I'm a professor.
I have tenure.
I've never known what that means.
It means they can't get rid of you.
That sucks.
Why would you...
That's a terrible system.
I just want tenure so that I can just coast.
Coast forever.
Yeah, I think it's just like a guaranteed contract.
That's dumb.
Yeah.
But that's my thinking.
Anyway...
I'd prefer to be called Professor Philharal.
life.
That's good.
See, that makes more sense.
It's just about jazzing up the language we use.
So shall we get stuck into some facts, some quotes and some questions?
Please, but I believe this section does actually have a jingle.
Oh my God, I almost forgot.
Let me just play it here for you.
Fact quote or question.
Ding!
Perfect.
Never forget the ding.
Never forget the ding.
So our first fact, quote or question comes from Paul Mellor.
Hi, Paul.
Paul has given himself the title.
Oh my God, it's a very long title, Paul.
Okay, so his title is fellow of the Royal Society of Do Go on Engineering Bad Boys.
Oh, Bad Boy for Life.
And then he says, just to add some context, this isn't related to the movie series,
Bad Boys, but was linked to the comment about me being one of the recent,
about me being one on the recent bonus episode.
I then realized it may sound like I was excluding any girls and I don't want it to be
heard that way.
As a feminist of the podcast, I'm sure.
sure Matt will have the final say, but if it ever did get read out, please point out that anyone
can be a bad boy of the fictional society I made up. Also, Dave, I have downloaded some book cheat
episodes so I may not be a bad boy after all. Keep up the great work, loving the content
in the new web series two. Cheers, Paul. That was his title. Wow, that's, I mean, and you have to
use that when you're addressing him. All, you have to say all of that. Yeah, it's rude if you don't.
Paul, honestly, just send us a message, mate.
But, okay, so Paul has given us a quote.
Oh, my God.
And then in his, where he can write, he's written,
this is actually a quote followed by a question.
Oh, he's found a loophole.
Paul, you are taking the piss.
Paul's taking the piss.
Matt wouldn't say it, but I'll say it.
That's right, but the feminist of the podcast isn't here.
Because I have to read it all, and I'm tired and hungry.
It says, this quote is one I refer to regularly in my job as an engineer.
You can only make as well as you can measure.
You can only make as well as you can measure.
That's by Sir Joseph Whitworth, creator of the British Standard Whitworth System,
which became a standard for screw threads.
My question is, have you ever made anything that you could measure
and did it turn out well?
I think like a practical thing.
Absolutely not.
No, IKEA furniture, but it's been measured by someone else.
And even then, if I can avoid building it
and handball that to someone else, I absolutely will.
Yeah.
Last time we were doing live streams, I was moving house, and we moved house on the Saturday,
and I was like, oh, I've got to go to work, but you get started on the flat pack then, okay?
All right, hooroo, kind of hoping that it would all be done, because there was like four things that needed to be built.
Right.
Half of one was done when I got back.
And he'd had to call my dad for help.
So there was two people working on half of one thing.
Wow.
So. Is it all done now?
It's all done now.
but you know I'm always adding I'm always
recreating yeah Paul I'm afraid that I am
probably the least practical person you could ever meet
yeah that is true
I cut myself when I'm hanging out the washing you know
yeah and you're like you got very you got kid pegs
yeah pegs for babies
my theory is if it's childproof
and I can get through it it's not really childproof
yeah agreed my theory
that's how we that's how we test
So thank you very much to Paul.
We appreciate your...
Thanks, Paul, but we don't do much measuring here.
Also, I love the guy that came up with a measuring system.
That guy, Wittner, whatever his name is.
It's like, yeah, you know, you can only do it as long as you can measure.
It's like, I think you're trying to sell something here,
and that's how you measure stuff in your system.
Yeah, and it worked.
Yeah.
My dad always says measure twice, cut once, that sort of thing.
But, you know, he's a practical man.
And my brother is a carpenter.
Like there's just, I've been surrounded by people who love that shit.
So I let them have fun with it.
So you didn't pick it up, because I would have thought that maybe you'd pick it up,
but you don't get any of that.
Nah.
And also I, my parents used to sort of try to get me to help out in the garden.
And I would, I think I was a pretty good teenager.
Like I was respectful and, you know, there was no tantrums or anything.
And I'd help wherever I could.
But if it was gardening, I would be like, no.
Just actively no.
And now yesterday I potted.
some new flowers into little pots on my balcony. I was sending mum pictures. I was like,
what's happened to me? So who knows? Maybe I'll take up woodwork. Yeah, you'll be woodworking
this time next week. Who knows? Our next fact, quitter question comes from, and they've put their
pronunciation of their name in here, which I love. Appreciate it. Joe Fleischman.
Oh, okay. I hope I got that right based on your phonetic spelling out for me there, Joe.
Flashman. Joe has given himself the title of, if possible, oh, it's so sweet. I'd love, I'd like,
I'd like to give the title to my son, Soren, who will be the official junior executive small child of the podcast.
Welcome aboard.
You are our junior executive small child.
We also have a senior executive small child, just to be clear.
Absolutely.
It's just a slightly bigger child.
It could be smaller physically, but they're like a bigger personality.
Yeah, exactly.
They are outrageous.
They really need to shut up.
And Joe has given us a quote.
And the quote is, if every pork chop were perfect,
we wouldn't have hot dogs.
So I guess, I mean, you know, how can we extrapolate that?
If you're a bit shit, that's all right.
We wouldn't have hot dogs.
You're right here.
Is it a quote attributed to someone or is that?
Yes, that is a quote from Greg Universe.
What a name.
Yeah.
I trust him.
Do you?
That's good.
I don't know who it is.
I look him up.
Yeah, you'll look it up.
Greg Universe.
Uh, sorry, it's coming up here.
Is Greg Universe a real person?
No, it is a cartoon character, it looks like.
Ah.
Greg Universe is the father of Stephen Universe.
I don't know what that means.
It's Stephenuniverse.fandom.com, so I think Stephen Universe is the thing.
Ah, cool. There you go.
Never heard of that. There you go.
Well, it's a good quote, though.
That is nice.
Um, our next fact to quote or question comes from Brielle,
Strobel
Briel.
Briel Strobel.
I like it.
Breel's given herself a title of Mrs. Mothman.
Oh, okay.
Fantastic.
My lady.
And it's given us a fact.
Glad you finally put a ring on it.
Here is the fact.
If I told you the
So,
so, if I told you the meeting scheduled at noon
has been moved forward two hours,
what time is the meeting?
It's been moved forward two hours.
forward two hours.
Yeah.
I would say two o'clock.
It's been moved forward.
So it's earlier, so it's 10 o'clock.
10 o'clock, yes.
I think this is my conundrum.
Well, if you said 2pm, then you perceive time as moving towards you,
or the ego moving perspective,
which means you see time as though you are moving through it.
If you said 10 a.m., then you have the time moving perspective,
in which you see yourself as stagnant and time just moves without.
out you.
This is called fictive motion if you need more clarification.
There you go.
Move forward.
I can understand.
It does make sense.
10 o'clock probably is the actual answer.
Yeah, but you are sort of thinking of like, okay, well, 12, 1, 2.
Yeah.
Huh.
That's very interesting.
It is.
Yeah.
Cool that we had two different answers too.
Yeah.
Rather than us both being like.
Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
Obviously.
Oh, yeah.
Next question, please.
And finally, our final fact-quoted question for today comes from Sophie Schuter.
Hello, Sophie Schutter.
Sophie's giving us off the title of Head of Office Administration,
semicolon swaps division.
Oh, is that because they're doing the Patreon snack swap?
Oh, yes, of course.
I was just thinking about the office thing made me, threw me off a bit there because I was thinking about office supplies.
And I knew Sophie had done that, but for some reason, the swap just threw me off there.
So a fantastic initiative that Sophie is absolutely spearheaded without any involvement from us.
No.
So we've got to give her one million percent of the credit is on our Patreon group.
She started an international snack swap.
So the people that are members of our Patreon group get to send snacks to people in other countries that you might get there but not here.
Yeah, it's been really nice, especially in isolation.
You know, just it's nice to get a little care package.
People have been uploading the photos of some of the stuff is wild.
Yeah.
You know, because, you know, we get, it's stuff like we have
Vegemite here and barbecue shapes, but you might not have that in Finland.
Exactly, yes.
Yeah, so it's really, I think it's such a great idea.
I never would have thought of it.
And thank you so much for doing it.
One of my friends, Steph is a Patreon and she, a picture got uploaded of what she sent.
Tim Tams, um, Vegemite shapes.
Mm, and a few other amazing things.
And I messaged and I was like, mate, well done.
She goes, oh, you couldn't even see that I added Wizz Fizz as well.
I was like, yes.
Then we had a long discussion about how much we love whizfiz,
which is just a little bag of sherbet, really.
Yeah, but a tiny spoon.
Tiny, tiny spoon.
Love the spoon.
God, I think I might pick up some whiz fizz on the way, huh?
Yeah, yeah, and that'll keep you going.
Yes.
I'll be a four-knit.
I've got tears.
Anyway, so just giving us a question.
She's asked, what was your favorite hobby as a kid?
Favorite hobby?
I definitely, I went through the range of sports.
Yeah.
Which is funny because I wasn't an athletic kid, but I did, you know, swimming and a little bit of basketball, cricket.
Yeah.
Tennis, that was the one that I did the longest, probably struck with that.
Stuck with that.
And then in early high school, I would say, when you could say you're a kid then, that music was the big hobby.
Yeah, of course.
Playing my bass guitar.
For you, for sure.
My God, I was, I frothed over it.
Yeah, that's fair.
I would, I guess I'm sort of the same.
I mean, I started playing basketball when I was seven
because my older brother played and I just copied everything he did.
So, I mean, I played until earlier this year
when the season got cut down because of COVID-19.
So I've always played basketball.
And have you stopped for a long period of time in that time?
Here and there, like a couple of years maybe.
A couple of years is probably the longest break.
It's great that you kept it up, love it.
Because I miss it when I don't play it.
I really enjoy it.
It's a lot of fun.
And I think just having done it since I was a kid,
it feels very familiar.
There's something kind of comforting about that.
Like I know what's going on.
I know how to do everything.
Like starting a new sport a bit later,
I don't think it's something I'd be very good at
because I'm like, I don't get all the rules.
Yeah, what are we doing here?
Yeah.
Do you enjoy watching basketball?
I don't watch a lot of basketball,
but I do, yeah, I do like it.
It can be kind of, it depends.
Sometimes it could be kind of boring to watch
because it's just like, pass, pass, goal.
It's so up and down
I know, one end to the other
Yeah, because it's so fast
But I like watching highlights of it
Because you get to see all the cool moves and stuff
My other main hobby as a kid was
I don't know if you ever did this
Was throwing rocks into rivers
I loved that
I could stand there for honestly three hours
And just be like throw this like on an embankment
And just throw a terrible soil erosion
I just love the splash
Yeah, splash is fun
Oh so much fun
And you know we would ride our bikes around
and we had rollerblades and we would set up like little ramps in our,
because we lived in a court, a cul-de-sac.
Oh, that's fun.
No cars and stuff, not many cars coming and going.
So we had the road to ourselves.
So, yeah, we'd set up little ramps and jump off them.
It felt massive, but it probably was like, it was like a small plank of wood.
And I was like, sick.
Whoa, look at it go.
And then, yeah, high school was music for me as well, I guess.
Still sport, but that's when I was in a band for a bit.
So much fun.
Yeah.
My, my, my, my, and in terms of fads, which you could say is a hobby,
went through all those, you know, all the TV shows, all the stuff that everyone loved.
But the number one one of my life was, of course, Pokemon cards.
Oh yeah, okay.
I didn't get so into the cards.
Lived for them.
I liked, um, I had a Pokemon game on my Game Boy, which I liked.
Um, a red or a blue.
I had red.
Oh, I had blue.
Yeah, nice.
Such, such fun.
And I did like that.
And I've thought about getting it on the switch.
And you've been playing it a lot on the switch recently.
Yeah.
So I got the one.
So there's.
there's Pokemon Sword and Shield, which is the new, new updated one, which has like all the
six million new Pokemon that I don't really know.
But the one that I got was Pokemon Let's Go Pikachu.
Yeah.
Because it is essentially that red or blue or Pokemon yellow remade just with better graphics
and on a bigger screen.
And so I know all the Pokemon.
I remember them all.
Yeah.
I remember the gym badges and all that stuff that you get.
So I just beat it.
I recently beat it.
Yes.
Good job.
So much fun.
I've thought about getting it again, but I don't know.
know if I'll still enjoy it.
Maybe the nostalgia, I'm not sure.
But yeah, I mean, I hope that answers the questions.
That's our hobbies.
Yeah.
From as when we were children.
I don't really have hobbies anymore.
Podcasting.
Yeah, it's, well, it started as a hobby.
Now that's kind of a job.
I used to play ukulele a bit.
Now I haven't played for ages.
It's somewhere in my house.
Hmm.
I need a hobby.
But yeah, anyway, so that's our fact, quote, or question section,
which brings us to everyone's other favourite part of the show,
which is, of course, the Patreon shoutouts.
That's right.
These people have been a support of the show,
and one of the rewards is we shout out to them,
and we usually come up with a game, Jess,
or you most often do.
Yeah.
Tying back to the Mad Trapper of Rat River.
I was kind of thinking of, like, where they'd hide out.
Oh, okay, no, that's good.
Is that good?
Yeah, where they'd hide out.
Okay.
So it was a location.
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't think they're shooting any cops.
Okay.
They're just hiding out for a bit.
Maybe they even just need a bit of a break.
You know what I mean?
Oh, for sure.
So without Matt here, maybe we'll do four each.
What do you reckon?
Let's get through a few.
Do you want me to kick things off?
Please.
I would love to thank from London in Great Britain.
Have you heard of London?
I've heard of it.
Couldn't point to it.
We would love to thank James Edwards.
Thank you so much, James Edwards.
James is a supporter of the show who's come to our live shows before
and has a delightful laugh.
Oh, the laugh.
I thought this might be you, James.
Yeah, that's James.
So thank you, James.
And I would also love to thank.
Well, we're going to say where he's hiding out.
Oh, yeah.
James, where is he hiding?
I'm like, no, I'm done.
To be honest, James, it is difficult for you to hide with that laugh.
So it has to be a very unfunny place.
Um, he's hiding in the change rooms at a big W.
Oh, fantastic, which is a quite cheap chain of department stores here.
Yep.
Fantastic for a bargain.
Yeah.
Love the big W.
And to hide.
And you're in the change room.
How long has you been in there?
Um, two months.
Wow, that's amazing.
Yeah.
I mean, because they do sell food too, so we could have just got supplies.
Yeah, he just sneaks out at night.
Nobody, I mean, it's poor work ethic from the people working there who haven't cleaned the change room.
I ran a couple of times people have knocked on and said, you're okay in there.
Me any help?
No, I'm all right.
Oh, good, thanks.
Just change your voice a bit so they don't think it's the same person.
How long?
I'm fine, thank you.
How long could you be in there?
And how many times could they say, are you okay before they'd bust down the door?
Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe like when they're closing, surely.
Sorry, you've got to go.
No, no, I'm okay.
I'm all right.
You need to say that.
Sorry, we're actually closed.
I'm all right.
I'm all right.
Thank you.
That's okay.
Just drying on the other pair.
No, I've got all the sizes I need.
Thanks.
Mate, we're going to call the police.
No, I don't need anything.
No, all good.
Thank you.
What a great place to hide.
Thank you.
To James.
I would also love to thank from Berlin.
Love to thank Clara Louise Hildebrand.
Fantastic.
Great to have a listener from Deutschland.
Yes.
So good.
Where would Clara be hiding?
She's hiding in plain sight.
Oh, yeah.
At the casino.
Yes.
You lose track of time in there.
Exactly.
Have I been here a week?
Have I been here three years?
No one knows.
There's no windows here.
There's no clocks.
Terrible place to work, by the way.
Have you worked?
No, I've just recently met someone who is, who works at the casino and is only
about 22 years old and said several sexual harassment cases.
Oh, wow.
She's already lodged.
Oh, wow.
It's a bad place.
My goodness.
I'm of course not naming a casino.
This is somewhere in the world.
We don't know where this casino is.
I nearly worked at a casino.
When I was about 22, I got offered a job.
When I was doing a lot of trivia hosting,
I could have been the bingo caller.
Oh my God.
But I was going away.
And I said, oh, can I just start two weeks later?
They said, no, you have to start straight away or not at all.
And I was like, this doesn't make any sense.
That's so dumb.
And to be honest, from what you've just said,
I don't know where this casino is.
Let's assume it's somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere.
Yeah.
Maybe.
All the southern atmosphere, we don't know.
It is.
Maybe that that wouldn't have been a good job.
But you're right.
It's in terms of, I don't think it would be that super fun to work at because it is that dark.
They're weird places.
With lights.
But no natural light.
Yeah, it's not good.
They're a real fresh air.
Yeah.
But, I mean, Clara's fine.
Yeah, she's hiding out there.
She's hiding out.
And, you know, like, she's seeing shows and stuff they have on.
Yeah.
There's a cinema.
Like, she's not in the actual, like, gambling section the whole time.
Maybe only goes in there.
to get the free drinks and food if you're a high rolling
that they feed you a bit. And they're like, well, you've been
here for three weeks. You've probably lost a lot of money
here, but she hasn't. Hasn't at all.
She's fine. She's just
taken that free food and wandering off seeing another show.
She's a genius. Amazing.
Thank you to Clara. I'd also love to thank
a little closer to home this time from Carnegie
here in Victoria. Lawrence
Martin. Lawrence Martin. I love the name Lawrence.
Lawrence is good, isn't it?
Great name.
Lawrence is hiding.
In a 7-11.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
So many, but it's like a 7-Eleven that is temporarily closed for renovations.
Renovations haven't started yet.
So he's alone in there with all the food.
Oh, wow.
Is a slurping machine on?
You best believe it's on.
Oh, that's great.
And he can just top up whatever flavor he wants.
And it's not all bad food in there.
You know, there's pasties, crackers and hummus sandwiches.
Some sort of musli bar maybe.
But yeah, you're going to have a chocolate bar here and there.
Yum, yum.
That would be great.
I'm definitely hungry.
Yeah.
Definitely hungry.
He's hiding out in the leftovers at my house, so I'm going to eat after this.
Oh man, I'm going to go home and have a pizza.
That is probably my plan for tonight.
So when you're listening to this, I ate pizza four days ago.
Oh, yum.
A little bit of sizzle for you.
Oh, I love pizza.
You're going to get a margarita?
Probably, yes.
You always get a margarita.
I do.
I love it.
You can't be the classic.
Do you get a couple of pizzas?
Because you're feeding two people, I assume, when the pizzas.
Absolutely, yes.
And do you do a bit of a share?
No. This is how we knew we were right for each other.
It was that when the first time we went to the movies,
we sort of had a discussion about sharing popcorn or not sharing popcorn,
and we both said we'd prefer our own popcorn.
And it's the same with pizzas.
We get our own pizzas.
It's not that we don't share.
I mean, he just demolishes pizza and he eats meat.
So he will usually have a meat pizza, which I don't think.
Okay, that definitely does make sense.
And I never quite finished mine.
So yes, he definitely has one or two pieces of meat.
mine as well. Oh, okay, because I love the getting two different pizzas, pizzas. Yeah. And then
I have 95% of the one. Yeah. And then the one slice, we have a swap. Yeah, I love that.
Swap one. You swap once. Yes. So you just get a little bit of a trait because you've,
you've picked your favourite. Exactly. So I want to eat it. You want to eat all of it. But then also
you're like, well, that does look pretty good. I'll have a little bit. We went to a new pizza place
the other day, which I had had with some friends before, and I forgot, I knew the pizzas were big,
but they are insanely big. The box was like this big.
Jess can't even hold out of her arms big enough for this box.
It's huge.
I could get in the box.
We got one pizza and then Aiden was like, let's get a half.
You could buy a half as well.
So we got a half in a different flavour.
And we did not get through one entire pizza.
It was insanely big.
And then you get like garlic knots as well.
It was just heaven.
Where is this place?
It's Sal's pizza.
It's a New Zealand chain.
They've opened in Melbourne as well, and it's very good.
It's really big.
It's fucking huge.
Love it.
Anyway, sorry to derail there, but I'm very hungry.
Finally, I would love to thank from Perth in Scotland.
I thought there was a Perth there.
Yes.
I mean, there's always the chance that we're named after there, Perth.
Yeah, that's right, yeah.
There's a lot of, like, there's another, is there another Melbourne?
There's definitely another Victoria.
We've got them Melbourne, Florida.
Oh, yeah, Melbourne, Florida, thank you.
I think.
Is there a Victorian Canada?
Probably.
Anyway, from Perth in Scotland, I would love to thank Megan Bain.
Megan Bain.
Megan Bain is, of course, hiding out on a golf course.
Yeah, of course.
Open.
But it's nice weather.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Sadly, probably not in Scotland.
No, it's fine.
It's a lovely balmy day.
And she's sunbaking on the sandbanks.
There you go.
That's quite nice, isn't it?
And I'm sure me.
I would love to hear this fact-washy sunbaking.
Perth was named after the birthplace of Sir George Murray,
who was British Secretary of the State for the Colonies
when the city in Western Australia was founded in 1829.
Oh, cool.
So there you go.
There you go.
We love it.
We love it.
Do you want to thank some people?
I would love to thank some people if I can click the right tab on my computer.
That's why I panicked before and was like,
and the next person was just because I was trying to get back to the right spot.
All right.
Well, let me just say that.
Our next name comes all the way from Horton, Norway.
Horton in Vestfold, Norway.
I would like to thank Henrik T. Peterson.
That's a fantastic Norwegian name.
That's so good.
I love a middle initial.
And T.E.E.S.
Henry T. Peterson.
Henry Ibson, of course, one of the most famous Norwegians in history.
Let's be honest.
Henry T. Peterson, thank you so much for your support from Norway.
And where is he hiding out, Jess?
He's hiding out in a lovely...
Disneyland.
Oh, I love it.
He's hiding out in Disneyland.
That's another great place to hide out.
Yeah, you could be there for ages and not see it all.
Yeah, as long as you're not trapped in the small word after all part.
Yeah, that's haunting.
You don't be hiding there.
But, you know, again, seeing shows, going on some rides, plenty of food options.
Lots of food.
Big turkey legs.
Do you know that that's a big thing, Disneyland?
Oh, yeah.
Not for me, thanks.
I quite like turkey, but I don't know about munching it just on a stick.
Yeah, turkey on a stick.
I would like to thank now from Royston in England.
Another fantastic name.
They're all fantastic.
It's Florence Jones.
Oh, that's a beautiful name.
Flojo.
Oh, yeah.
Florence, you've probably got that a lot, and you probably don't like it that much.
So apologies, but it just came out of me.
It flowed, you could say.
Shut up, yes, stop talking.
What about Ernst's owns?
Second part.
No, Flojo is better.
See, there you go.
There are bad options too.
Where's Florence hiding?
She's hiding out on the moon.
Oh my God.
That's not a great hiding spot.
How are you going to get back when you're ready to?
That's the problem.
She has been there.
She's stuck.
Since the late 1960s.
Oh my God.
Has she got food?
Yeah.
Because she can't hunt, can she?
On the moon.
No, that's right.
Luckily, there's a lot of those toothpastes that are actually
meals somehow.
Yes.
And obviously moon cheese.
Well, yes, of course.
So she's got countless crackers and a lot of moon cheese.
Yum.
Yum.
Good for protein.
Thank you so much, Florence Jones.
I would like to thank.
Now, we're going back up to Scotland to Aberdeen.
Fantastic words said in that voice, but still.
Have a crack.
Andrew McLeod.
Andrew McLeod.
That's a Scottish name.
Yeah, that certainly is.
Andy McLeod from Aberdeen.
I believe he's from there.
Aburdine
I'm not doing well
I think that he is a
He's hiding out on the set of tag it
But like
As an extra
Yeah exactly
But he's in the background of every shot
Every shot
The director's a bit like
What's going on?
Why is this guy always there?
I mean like this is just like
Someone's at home in their bedroom alone now
And he's just in the background
Andrew's like now I'm meant to be here
They're like well
His accent's pretty authentic
He says he's meant to be here
I guess
murder. Thank you so much.
Andrew.
And I would also like to thank now from Reynoldsburg, Ohio.
O'Haw. I would like to thank Jared Schaefer.
Jared Schaefer is hiding out in a big cup.
How big's the cup?
Very big.
Wow.
It's a very big cup.
Like a drinking cup?
I just looked at this framed picture I have.
which is a tea cup that says ambition on it.
Like Dolly Parton's pour myself a cup of ambition.
Oh, now I get it.
And I also love that you were so ambitious for Jared.
A big cup.
I was like, come on, Jess, you can do this.
And I looked at that.
There is like a drink, a big drink, one of those big cups they give you at the cinemas.
There's one of those on my desk and it's for men in black international.
Which I did not see.
It was when I went to see Frozen 2.
Oh, right.
But you got your own popcorn.
Corn, of course.
Yeah, of course.
Beck knows the rules.
That's who I went to say with.
And then I looked to the left and there was a cup of ambition.
So sorry, Jared, but you're hiding out in a very big cup.
Is there anything in the cup with him?
He's made himself quite a little home.
Oh, wow.
It's quite nice in there.
Great.
But it's a big cup.
Is it so big that you need a...
It's actually a house just in the shape of a cup.
You know, like the old lady lived in a boot kind of thing?
Yeah.
It's just like a cup shaped house.
Does you still enter from the top?
Yes.
It will slide, so you have to like pour yourself in.
But if it rains, will you drown?
Yes.
Luckily, he lives in a very dry place.
Oh, thank goodness. Good luck, Jared.
So he is yet to drown.
Yet to drown.
Keep his boasted.
What a claim.
Let us know when you drowned.
Thank you so much to everyone.
That's, yeah, the dying words are, I'm drowning.
Let you go on now.
Yep, all right.
Thanks, everyone that supports the show.
You make the show possible.
and we really appreciate you.
We really do.
The only thing that we have left to do, if I'm remembering correctly,
is to thank or to induct some people into the Triptitch Club.
That's right.
I guess why you're checking if anyone's coming in, Jessica,
not every week, but people that's been supported the show on the shout-out level
for three years continuously without breaking off.
To thank them again, we'd like to induct them into an exclusive little club
where there's some hors d'oeuvres, some live music.
And once you're in, I mean, if you want to stay, you can stay for live.
life. It's a life induction. You can hide out there. Oh, that's a great place to hide out.
Yeah, because it's got everything. It's like the menu changes every week. And it's so like hidden,
it doesn't appear on Google Maps. Yeah, and like really famous musicians perform there.
And it's just like an open bar and there's sleeping pods. It honestly has everything you need.
So I don't know why you're all complaining about it. Yeah. Oh, come on.
Come on. So we do have some inductees actually. I think we've got three this week.
Will they be eating anything special?
Yes, they'll be eating.
I'm trying to relate it back to today's topic, but...
What was you trapping?
Anything with fur, furry stuff?
Of course, for the fur.
So I don't want to think about that.
Yeah, so...
Rats?
Rats on a stick?
No.
Only nice foods.
Pizza.
We were just talking about pizza for a long time.
Oh, yeah.
Get it in.
Pizas.
There's actually like a pizza.
chef there so you can build your own pizza.
Oh, I love that. Build your own pizza pie.
Yeah. And it's pretty good.
And they've got all types of like sauces and drizzles and stuff.
That's my favorite thing is to add a pesto drizzle to my margarita pizza.
Oh, okay. You're pimping your margarita. That's good.
Yeah. I love to pimp pizza.
So yeah, we've got pizza chef and then drinks wise. What goes well with a pizza?
Okay. Come on, Jess.
What goes well with a pizza?
I think that...
Like beer or cider goes well with pizza.
Yeah, beer and cider's nice, yeah.
Yeah, I love cider.
Do we have a home brew at the bar?
Yes.
It's quite nice.
Yeah, a nice little home brew.
It's a nice one though.
Matt's in charge of that.
Yeah, absolutely.
So it's good.
Sort of out of beer, would you?
And performing live this week, we are very, very happy to have the original cast from the Aladdin animated film.
Oh, my God.
Performing the songs from Aladdin.
Oh, they are?
Yeah.
Wow.
None of those are like
Dancy kind of bangers.
Prince Ali,
Glorious tea.
Yep, I beg you pardon.
It's a bit of fun.
Ali,
blah,
that's fun.
It's fun to do with your mouth.
Mu.
Moa,
so a lot of fun.
And then Robin Williams
is doing a bit of stand-up in between as well.
Some impressions.
You know,
making fun of people,
but not too mainly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's all in good fun.
It's all,
everyone's going,
it's just Robin doing his thing.
Yeah,
I'm not offended by it.
I'm laughing along,
even though he's picking on me.
Yeah,
that's right.
Oh my God, how does he know me so well?
Perfect amount of mean there.
So this week, yes, we have three people joining us in the Triptitch Club.
First of all, from Riverview, Florida, Christian Goodyear.
Oh, it's a good year now you're here.
I forgot that this is something you do and I love it.
Also from, what's M.O.
Oh, I wish Matt was here because he's been memorable.
Is it Missouri?
And is it St. Louis or St.
Louis?
Because we haven't we had this argument before?
It is Missouri. It is Missouri and it is St. Louis.
I'd love to thank Cody Jenkins.
Jenkins.
Welcome.
I'm just saying welcome.
I'm not jumping in.
This is your baby.
Cody.
Cody?
Well.
Cody?
I barely even know him.
That's good stuff.
It's not.
That's what's so fun.
And also.
Cody's my brother.
Brody.
Also joining us at the TripTitch Club.
What's GA?
Georgia?
Probably.
From Suwani.
Said that wrong.
In Georgia, Scotty Young.
Young.
The night is young now you're here to get us going.
So thank you so much to Christian Cody and Scotty.
Welcome.
Please make yourself at home.
Put your feet up.
Only if your shoes aren't dirty, please.
We are trying to keep the furniture in nice condition.
You have like fantastic furniture in you.
Yeah.
I mean, you're not animals.
Thank you so much.
There'll be some more people next week as well by the looks of it.
Little sizzle.
Oh, fantastic.
I'll have to start studying their names and I'll go on rhymezone.com.
Is that a thing?
Do you remember that?
I don't think it is anymore.
Rhyme zone.
You type in a word and it'll just give you the words that rhyme with it.
Wow.
And it was, but it looked like it was made and it probably was.
It's on there.
Rhymezone.com.
It looked like it was made in the, uh,
early 2000s.
Oh, that's good.
So if I typed in Cody, for example,
which I struggled with a little bit before.
He said Brody, which was very good.
My Brody.
Depodi, emotie.
Toadie.
Melodi.
Four syllables.
What, little roadie.
Cody, my little roadie.
Got him a little rody.
When you said Melody, was that melody?
Yes, but with an eye on the end.
Okay.
A female give a name.
apparently.
Oh.
But it must be melody.
But that doesn't rhyme with Cody.
No, it doesn't.
See, rhymezone.com.
Fantastic place.
A constant source of inspiration in my life.
Is that everything we have to do?
That's all of it, isn't it?
That's everything.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode.
Get in contact at any time at do go onpod.com.
But I guess for the 250th time, I'm just going to say, thank you so much for listening
to the show.
We never really thought it would probably go this long, to be honest.
No.
Just because we didn't plan, we didn't, not.
That sounds a bit more, but I guess we didn't think it was going to fail.
We just didn't really think about it.
It was just something to do for fun.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, it was just, you're exactly right.
It was something for fun and then it sort of has morphed into something a whole lot bigger
and that we are still baffled by every day.
Yes, but still having fun doing it.
Thank goodness for that.
Absolutely, yeah.
So yeah, hopefully here's to 250 more.
Yeah.
See how we bloody get on.
Yeah, let's go episode at a time for now and see how we go.
Here's to one more next week.
Let's try.
Nice.
Say that every week.
So yeah, thanks so much for listening.
Get in contact if you would like to.
We're on all the social media is at Do Go On Pod.
But until next time,
thanks so much and I'll say goodbye.
Bye.
Later's.
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