Do Go On - 251 - The Abduction of Betty and Barney Hill

Episode Date: August 12, 2020

In the 1960s, Betty and Barney Hill went on a road trip that changed their lives forever. What happened to them? We're still not fully sure....This episode was recorded as part of our live stream series! You can see the video and other live episodes at sospresents.comBuy tickets to our live streamed shows:https://sospresents.com/catalogSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodCheck out our web series: https://www.youtube.com/user/stupidoldchannel Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barney_and_Betty_Hillhttps://www.history.com/news/first-alien-abduction-account-barney-betty-hillhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPftWHs_tr8https://astronomy.com/bonus/zetahttps://science.howstuffworks.com/space/aliens-ufos/hill-abduction.htm Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hey guys, it's Jess here just dropping in at the start of this week's episode to let you know some pretty exciting news. Now, the episode you're about to hear was recorded as part of a live stream series that we've just finished up.

This is the last episode. And if you're missing the live streams, you need something to occupy your time while you're in Iceland. Our first round of live stream episodes that we did back in April are going to be available over at sOSpresents.com. Yeah, we recorded four episodes and originally they were only available for 24 hours. It was sort of an exclusive thing. But now that they're being hosted by Stupid Old Studios on their platform of SOS Presents, they're going to put them up and make them available to you again. And they'll sort of be available indefinitely.

So if you bought tickets the first time around back in April, you're going to get an email. with a unique code so you'll be able to access them for free. So you definitely don't have to pay again. If you missed out the first time and you're wanting to catch up and watch them all again, or maybe you only saw one and you'd like to see all of them, you can do so by heading over to sOSpresents.com. Now just a little bit of admin. If you don't get the email, check your spam folder.

If it's still not there, send an email to info at stupidold.com. They'll get back to you straight away. But yeah, that's pretty exciting. We're hoping we'll do some more live streams down the track, maybe for Blocktober. But stay tuned. We'll announce all that on our socials when it's been planned. But yeah, for now, hopefully that will keep your company, keep you entertained. All right, on with today's show.

Welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky, and as always, I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello, Jess. Hello, Dave. Hi. Hello, Matt. Hello, Dave. Team, how are you feeling?

How are we doing? Wonderful. Never been healthier. Never been better. Never been happier. Never been healthier. Wow. I'm even healthier than Jess.

Yeah. So it's not hard because she's sick as a dog. How are you, Dave? I'm probably the third healthiest, but still feeling pretty good. So, great, you know? All right, great. That's very promising. I'd love for you to tell us

because normally Jess and I'd do this but I think you'd be very good at it. How does this show work? Well, I don't know how it's going to work today but for the previous 250 episodes, what has happened is we take it in terms the report on a topic, often suggested to us by a listener.

One of us goes away, does the research, brings it back, the other two people don't know what the topic's even going to be so to get us onto that topic, the report giver asks us a pesky little question. And it's Jess's turn, and I'm wondering, have you written a question? I did it just before.

So the question is, nice. Who, what or who, was the first report of an alien, is the first report of an alien abduction in the United States. Oh, does this have anything to do with Stanton Fried Man? No. Our UFO guy, the Roswell dude. He was obsessed.

Was it Mulder's sister? No. Becky Mulder. It wasn't Becky Mulder. Hmm. I don't think we're going to know this. Was it a human? Yes.

It was two humans. Jeff and Lisa Kresno. McKeon. No. Close. It was Betty and Barney Hill. Oh. Great.

This rings a bell. Yeah, I think I have heard those names. Betty and Barney Hill, fantastic. It's been suggested a few times, so it's been suggested by Will Hancock, Blake T. Wilde, Matt Lass, and Earl Crawford, all incredible names. Earl Crawford. That sounds like he'd be Earl Crawford III, for sure. Yeah, totally.

This is also one, so I put up a few second chance topics, ones that I'd already previously had people vote on, but that hadn't quite made it. And this one, when I first put it up, barely got any votes. The difference this time is that I added the word alien, because I just had abduction of Betty and Barney Hill last time. People were like, hmm, sounds like a kidnapping. No thanks. Then I said alien abduction, and it won in an absolute landslide.

So here we go. All right. So in September of 1961, Barney Hill, who was 39, and his wife Betty, who was 42, decided they needed a weekend away. Barney worked night shift for the US Postal Service and he drove 60 miles or 96Ks each way for work. And Betty was a social worker handling child welfare cases. So they were obviously very busy with work

and their little free time was dedicated to the Unitarian Church and their involvement with the civil rights movement. They were both members of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, And Barney was a board member for the United States Commission on Civil Rights. This was important to them because Barney was an African-American man and Betty was white, which at the time was fairly uncommon to have an interracial marriage. So they're very busy people, and they've been married for just over a year at this point. So they decided to have a little holiday as a belated honeymoon.

So they left their home in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, and they drove to Niagara Falls and then looped around to Montreal, which, by the way, is a pretty massive distance. Like, I looked it up on a map and it's like, they're driving like really long hours, considering they were only away for about three days. So they're just spending a lot of time in the car. This is a man.

And this is pre-podcasts. Yeah, but this is a man who drives like 200K every day just for work. So he's like, there's nothing. I love the car. Yeah, I know, but it's like, I need a break from all this driving. Let's go on a really long road trip. But compress it to three days. Yeah, exactly.

It's a doable distance, but I mean, there's been a lot of time in the car. Anyway, so they've been away for a few days. On their last night, they stopped at a diner in Vermont for dinner. Oh, I mean, America's greatest state. We've just got to say it quickly, Vermont, America's greatest state. I totally forgot. I forgot to leave a pause after saying Vermont. I forgot that.

I'm sorry, Dave. It's the creamy. Creamy Creamy Which is like ice cream But a little bit creamier If you can believe it You wouldn't

You wouldn't believe until you had it Just a quick side note I really riled up some Americans When last year I went on a holiday to LA And I was on the Santa Monica Pier And I thought I could saw some soft serve ice cream And I was like I'll get a photo with this

And I said this is the closest I could get to a creamy That really kicked off the comment section People were pissed off that I was claiming that a normal ice cream was a creamy. They're very, very patriotic about their creamies, so sorry about that. Okay. All right, wow. Way to ruffle some feathers.

I mean, everyone knows that, Dave. You mucked up there, buddy. Yeah. Don't blame America for that. Sorry about that, America. That's on you. Okay, so it's their last night. They've stopped for dinner and a diner.

God save our whoopies. Creamies. Creamy. That was beautiful. Barney figured they could drive all the way home that night to save them getting stuck in bad weather that was sort of heading in their direction. So they left the darn at about 10pm.

This is on September 19. And they figured they'd be back in their house in Portsmouth between 2 and 3 a.m. It was around a 4-hour drive. They're like, we'll just drive through the night, get home before crappy weather. So they're driving home late at night and out the car window,

Betty spots a bright light that moves below the moon and the planet Jupiter and then upwards to the west of the moon. Do they know that? Do they know? No what? A light. They know what lights are in the 60s, yeah.

Do they know, oh, because I wouldn't look outside and say, oh, that's west of Jupiter. You know, that's the moon, that's Jupiter. Are they stargazing types? I mean, you wouldn't look outside and go, oh, that's the moon. No, that's, I wouldn't say, yeah, I don't know what the moon looks like, to be honest. I don't. I don't know.

Okay. Jupiter, I know what that is. Really, really big light. Yeah, the big one next to Jupiter. Is that right? Jupiter is the red one. Yeah, the big one next to Jupiter is the moon. Okay, gotcha.

I remember that for now. No, you're right, Dave. I don't think I'd know, oh, that's Jupiter or that's this. But obviously, yeah, she did. Okay. But, you know, this, again, this is pre-netflix, pre-podcasts. Like, people had less to do. So they looked to the sky.

Anyway, so at first, she assumed that she was just watching a shooting star. She's like, oh, it's just like a falling shooting star. But then as it moved or radically upwards, she figured that that didn't really make sense for a shooting star. So they decided to stop the car so they could take a better look. So Barney stopped at this scenic picnic area just south of Twin Mountain, which is a couple of hours northwest of Portsmouth.

They're like halfway home. Betty pulled out the binoculars and observed an odd-shaped craft flashing multicolored lights travel across the face of the moon. That's crazy. David gets crazier. No. Yes. I'm a bit scared.

That does scare me. You should be. Well, Betty wasn't too scared because a few years earlier, her sister had claimed that she'd seen a flying saucer. So Betty's like, oh, I'm probably just seeing a flying saucer. You know, nothing to be too concerned about. Check so. Then Barney had to look through the binoculars.

and he said it was most likely just a commercial airliner traveling towards Vermont on its way to Montreal. So he's like, it's a plane. But he quickly changed his mind. But he know that because last year his sister had been on a plane? Yeah, yeah. And he was like, she said they have heaps of lights on him. He quickly changed his mind though because he saw that the object

was rapidly descending towards them, which ideally planes don't do, yeah. I mean, how quickly did he change his mind as a plane, what he thought was a plane, suddenly starts coming towards him. Yeah, that's not a plane. It's probably not a plane. So they went back to their car

and they started driving towards Franconia notch, which is a narrow mountainous stretch of road, very isolated stretch of road. They continued down the isolated road, driving slowly so they can still observe the object as it appears to be getting closer. After driving and watching for a while, the object rapidly descended towards their vehicle, causing Barney to slam on the brakes and stop in the middle of the highway. The huge silent craft hovered approximately 80 to 100 feet,

so 20 to 30 metres above the hill's 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air. That's a fucking cool sounding car. It's a cool car. They're those big long ones. You know, those long ones with wings and stuff? Yeah, yeah. Nice. Barney said the craft reminded him of a giant pancake.

I'm getting hungry. That's one of our most beloved Aussie outback things is the giant pancake, I think. Yeah. Our most delicious landmark. Strange thing is they only said crepes there. It's very weird. Very weird. Yeah.

It's like you go to the big banana. So Barney got out of the car. Fuck, that would have been great timing, Evan. He had his pistol in his pocket. And he took out the binoculars to get a closer look. That's when he saw between eight and 11 humanoid figures looking out the craft window at him. At the window.

Is that what? Yes. Were the aliens in that? Bel-air! Wow, through the windscreen they were looking at it. And that was hovering. That was hovering. It was crazy.

So they're just, they're looking at the window at him. That's kind of crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Like a bus? It sounds like a school bus. All the kids are just, alien kids are just waving out the school bus. They're trying to get him to honk the horn.

They're all going. Huh. Oh. honk the horn do you remember coming back coming back from like school excursions and you'd get the bus would come alongside a truck and all these kids are going please hog and then one truck driver does it and the whole bus goes like yeah and imagine if an alien did that that would be amazing it's the best that would be next That'd be sick. Okay, so there's eight to 11 humanoid figures looking at him out the window. Amazing that this alien spaceship has windows. Is that mean it's got a glass floor? Is that what

that means? Because they're looking down. I imagine a flying saucer, it's hovering there above. To look out the window, you have to look directly down, right? Are they looking through their glass bottom? Well, I mean, they're hovering fairly close. And I think they must sort of be maybe just in front of them. So they're kind of almost looking back at him. I don't know, Deb. I wasn't there. But they're looking at him out of the windows.

That'd be cool if it was a glass bottom boat, you know. Like they're maybe they are just tourists. Maybe not school kids there. It's like grey nomad bus. And they're all there just sort of sightseeing. Yeah. Or maybe they're just trying to park and they're like, how much room I got back there? Hey, you.

How am I doing back there? You know how there's, the idea that they're grey-skinned. Maybe that's what older aliens are. Maybe they're normally green and as they age they get grey-skinned. Grey-skinned nomads. And that's all they are. So we keep saying these grey-skinned aliens, but they're just grey-skinned nomads.

They're just travelling. Just a theory. They've done their time working in the alien mines. Yeah. And now they're just travelling. So should they? Okay, so yeah, totally. Live your best life.

So all but one of these humanoid figures turn away from the window, they go to do something, and then the one that remained continued to look at Barney and communicated a message telling him to stay where you are and keep looking. Oh, okay. Telepathically, I assume. Oh, you don't think this is not hand signals. You stay.

No, I don't think so. Keep looking. Stay watching. He thought he was doing. signaling him that, but he was actually doing the latest alien dance craze. Stop right now. Or he was just flipping him off in alien language.

You, fuck off. Sucked in, you live on a shit planet. You? He's like, yeah, I will keep watching. I will keep watching. But Ali's like, no, fuck off. Yes, okay. No, fuck off.

Get out of here. We're trying to park here and have a look around. Jesus. Humans. So the craft descended lower towards them and a long structure appeared to be descending from the bottom of the craft. Oh, no. It's shitting on them.

Oh, no. Barney ran back to the car, hysterically telling Betty, they're going to capture us, which he knew because one of them are told him telepathically. Whoa. hysterically like in a funny way probably not like

laughing hysterically probably like panicking I thought he might have retold it in a humorous way yeah no doesn't say you'll never believe what happened and she's like laughing so hard

just like oh my god buddy you are so funny this is why I married you you're so funny you did forget to mention they had done LSD half an hour earlier how long it takes for LSD to work.

I don't know. So Barney speeds off, but almost immediately they hear rhythmic beeping or buzzing sounds, and the car starts vibrating, and both Barney and Betty felt a tingling sensation. Can I quickly just ask? They said they felt an... That's the drugs kicking in. Can I ask the Man of a Thousand Noise is what rhythmic beeping would sound like? What does that sound like?

Well, that rhythmic beeping sound is just the song. that they're dancing to and the tingling that the hills are getting is the drugs kicking in. But anyway, the beeping sound would have gone like this. Something like that. That's rhythmic. Yeah.

That's the summer anthem of 2020. The dance anthem, the dance anthem. So they said they felt an altered state of consciousness that left their minds dulled. So they've kind of blacked out. Then another series of. beeping and buzzing sounds, buzzing, buzzing sounds,

brought them back to full consciousness. They had travelled nearly 35 miles or 56K south, but had barely any recollection of driving that section of the road. They said they had some vague memory of making a sudden, unplanned turn, encountering a roadblock and observing a fiery orb in the road. Whoa. What?

So they come to 50, down the road, no memory of driving it. That's cool. A bit bloody weird. That is a bit weird. So they arrive home around dawn, realizing that they're two hours later than they'd expected to be. So they've lost two hours and about 56Ks.

They have no idea what's happened in that time. So they both had a strange and unexplained impulses and sensations. They were just feeling odd. The example on Wikipedia is Betty insisted their luggage be kept near the back door rather than in the main part of the house. You know, so just like strange stuff like that. That's weird. That's kooky.

Yeah. Betty came home. She wanted to move the bed slightly. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa, Betty. What's going on? A few other things, though, were very strange.

So both of their watches had stopped and never worked again. their watches are just fucked. The leather strap on their binoculars was torn, but Barney had no idea how that had happened. And in the greatest sentence I've ever read in our four years of podcasts, Barney says he was compelled to examine his genitals in the bathroom, though he found nothing unusual. He was like, I just had to check my dick.

Did you have to check that was still there? I don't know. He's just like, what's going on? Like if they're... Maybe something felt a bit off. If they've ripped binoculars, they could rip anything. I better check. Yeah.

Oh, thank God. I always assumed... I better just check. I always assumed the probe was up the butt, but maybe it's up the urethra. Wow. Maybe. Maybe his dick had stopped and it never worked again.

Just like his watch. Even a stopped dick is right twice a day. So they both took really long showers. Presumably Barney checked his dick. again and then they sat down and both drew what they'd seen. Barney just threw his stick. Let's just write it down with what's fraying. Surely.

But he drew like really big and Betty's like, all right, mate. Come on, come on. You wish. So they tried to piece together what had happened, but after the buzzing sounds, their memories were fragmented and foggy. There was like vague things that would come up,

but they couldn't piece everything together. Later, Betty noticed that the dress she'd been wearing, on the drive was torn at the hem, the zipper and the lining. It was really damaged. She put it away in her cupboard and it wasn't until later that she noted a pinkish powder on her dress. She couldn't explain. They also noticed shiny concentric circles on their car's trunk that hadn't been there

the previous day. Betty and Barney experimented with a compass noting that when they moved it closer to the spots, the needles would whirl rapidly. But when they moved it a few inches away from the shiny spots, it would drop down. So something weird is happening. Strange. What does concentric mean? Um, Dave.

It means when both people give permission, concentric. You know what I mean? That's consensual tantric sex. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah. Sting does it. Concentric circles are like when there's circles inside a circle.

Right. Yeah, just sort of like continuous circles inside circles. And then magnet. Magnetic for some reason. Very strange. Really weird. So Betty telephoned P's Air Force Base to report their UFO encounter a couple of days later.

Major Paul W. Henderson telephoned the Hills for more details and interviewed them. And in his report a few days later, he wrote that the couple had probably misidentified the planet Jupiter. It doesn't really explain any of what they described. And I saw 8 to 11 kids from inside Jupiter

or waving at them. Jupiter came down just above their car, and Jupiter had like a glass bottle. And Jupiter drew circles on their car. Classic Jupiter. Yeah, good explanation. Yeah, that's what his report said, so good on him. So Betty was an avid reader,

and she checked out some books from the library that were about UFOs. And she discovered that there was a civilian UFO group called the National Investigations Committee on Aerial Phenomena, or NYCAP. Head of Nycap was retired Marine Corps major Donald E. Kehoe. There's a lot of, like, a lot of people using their middle initials in this story, and I love it. Donald E. Keahope. So Betty wrote to him and told him their whole story and that they were considering hypnosis to help recall what had happened. Her letter was passed on to another Nycap member, an astronomer from Boston named Walter N. Webb.

A month after their encounter, Webb visited the Hills and interviewed them for six hours about their experience. Barney asserted that he'd developed a sort of mental block and that he suspected there were some portions of the event that he did not wish to remember, like he's just repressing things. Webb stated that they were telling the truth and the incident probably occurred exactly as reported, except for some minor uncertainties and technicalities that must be tolerated in such observations where human judgment is involved. So he's saying like the exact time and length of visibility, size of objects, distance, you know, things like that where you're kind of like, oh, it's probably 30-ish feet. But he said everything else, spot on. Wow. So he's not like, the fact that this ever happened, he's like, that definitely happened.

But everything else, they're not so sure. Yeah. He believed that it happened. But he was like, you know, I think he's just covering his ass there. So he's sort of like, he's not, I'm not saying it's all 100% real because they could have, It could have been 90 feet instead of 80 feet away. So I don't want to say that they were 100% spot on. You know, you just got to cover your ass.

That's smart. Yeah, you've got to cover your ass in these scenarios. You got to. When you're backing up an alien sighting, you've got to cover your ass. Even if you're involved in an alien abduction also cover your ass. Yeah, that's rule number one. They're going to probe you. Rule number one.

Rule number two, check your genitals. Every 10 minutes if you have to, just keep checking. I know what I'm doing after this episode, just in case. I know what I'm doing right now. All good. Yep. Still there. So 10 days after the alleged UFO encounter,

Betty began having a series of vivid dreams. They continued for five successive nights. Never in her memory had she recalled dreams in such detail and intensity. But they stopped abruptly after five nights and they never returned. Oh, she just had dreams. She told Barney about it after the first few dreams, and while he was sympathetic, he told her not to worry about it, so she didn't really bring it up with him again.

He was kind of like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're fine. So a little while after Walter Webb had interviewed them, Betty started to write down the details from those dreams that she had. And this is a good chunk from Wikipedia here, which describes her dreams, which is normally the most tedious conversation you can have. in one dream she and Barney encountered a roadblock and men who surrounded their car she lost consciousness but struggled to regain it she then realized she was being forced by two

small men to walk in a forest in the night time and of seeing Barney walking behind her though when she called to him he seemed to be in a trance or sleepwalking the men stood about five feet to five feet four inches tall so even in her dreams she's She's got a good sense of space. They wore matching blue uniforms with caps similar to those worn by military cadets. They appeared nearly human with black hair, dark eyes,

prominent noses and bluish lips. Their skin was a greyish colour. Matthew? Sounds right to me. Were they pulling a caravan? I like how they had black hair? They never describe aliens as having hair anymore. Yeah, these ones had hair.

In the dreams, Betty, Barney and the men walked up a ramp to the disc-shaped craft of metallic appearance. Once inside, Barney and Betty was separated. She protested and was told by a man she called the leader that if she and Barney were examined together, it would take much longer to conduct the exams. So they were taking to separate rooms. Betty then dreamt that a new man, similar to the others, entered to conduct her exam with the leader. Betty called this new man the examiner and said that he had a pleasant, calm manner,

Though the leader and the examiner spoke to her in English, the examiner's commands of the language seemed imperfect, and she had difficulty to understand again. I mean, they probably know heaps of space languages, okay? Yeah. You can't do it more perfectly. How bloody rude. That's disappointing that she didn't give him, you know, the benefit of the doubt there.

How well do you speak alien, Betty? Yeah, you weren't trying. Jeez, Louise. So the examiner told Betty that he would conduct a few tests to note the differences between. humans and the craft's occupants. He seated her on a chair and a bright light was shone on her. This is still all from her dream journal, basically. The man cut off a lock of Betty's hair. He examined her eyes, ears, mouth, teeth, throat and hands. He saved trimmings of her fingernails, gross.

After examining her legs and feet, the man used a dull knife similar to a letter opener to scrape some of her skin onto what resembled cellophane. They're just taking samples. He then, oh no, I don't want to read that bit because it made me feel uncomfortable. He put like a needle in her belly button. Anyway, the examiner left the room and Betty engaged in conversation with the leader. She picked up a book with rows of strange symbols that the leader said she could take home with her. She also asked from where he came, and he pulled down an instructional map dotted with stars. He just had a map handy in the wall.

Well, glad you asked. Blop. In Betty's dream account, the men began escorting the hills from the ship when a disagreement broke out. The leader then informed Betty, she couldn't keep the book, stating that they had decided the other men did not want her to even remember the encounter. Betty insisted that no matter what they did to her memory, she would one day recall the events.

This is in her dream. She's like swearing revenge on them. I'll get you. She's like, I'll never forget. She and Barney were taken to their car where the leader suggested that they wait to watch the craft's departure. They did so, then they resumed driving. So that's the end of her account of her dreams. Wow.

Those are pretty... Very detailed, yeah. Pretty vivid. So what year was this again, Jess? 61. So it feels like this must be one of the most influential ones. Because this feels like how they... these stories are often told now.

This has got a lot of exiles about it. So I wonder if, I mean, unless it's just a true story, in which case, of course, there'd be consistencies. But, yeah, I wonder if it's been influential. Also, another question, did they have any influence over the writers of the Flintstones? Because there's a couple in that called Betty and Barney as well. Betty and Barney Rubble.

Oh, yeah, good point. Look, I can't confirm all tonight, so I'm just going to say yes. If that's the case, maybe this goes all the way to the top. Oh, wow. Yeah, Betty and Barbera are based on... Of Hannah Barbera. Betty and Barney Hill, yeah. So later that month, so now it's November of 1961,

the couple were once again interviewed by members of NYCAP, this time C.D. Jackson and Robert E. Hopperman. Whoa. Incredible names. What was the soft letter in the middle of that? Well, it's H-O-H-M-A-D-N. Oh, H-O-H-M-H-M-H-M-H-Mond. Oh, wow.

H-M. Is that better or worse? Much worse. Better. So in this conversation, hypnosis was brought up, but it was decided they'd, and it was decided they'd try in order to elicit previously irretrievable memories. They're like, let's give hypnosis a try.

Barney was skeptical, but he thought it might help Betty put to rest what he described as the nonsense about, about her dreams. This guy also thinks he was abducted, right? And he checks his dick all the time. Well, he does and he doesn't. Oh, okay. He's constantly...

He kind of seems... He's not sure. Okay. Betty sort of seems more like, we were abducted, and Barney's like, I don't know. So they decide to do hypnosis

and sort of see what will happen. But it seems finding the right person for the job was difficult. After speaking to a couple of people being referred on a few different times, the Hills eventually found Benjamin Simon from Boston. He was a psychiatrist and neurologist who specialized in hypnosis, which at the time was a very mainstream technique. By the time they first went to see him, it was December 14, 1963, so it was two years after their encounter. Simon determined pretty quickly that the UFO encounter

was causing Barney far more worry and anxiety than he was willing to admit. He was like, this is eating you up inside. And while he didn't believe that there had been an extraterrestrial encounter, he believed that the hills believed they had one. So he hoped to uncover more information through hypnosis. So he began hypnotising the hills in January, 1964. So in his sessions with Barney, Barney reported that the binocular straps had broken

when he ran from the UFO back to his car, like when he was first looking at it and they were saying stay there. He recalled driving the car away from the UFO, but that afterwards he felt irresistibly compelled to pull off the road and drive into the woods. He eventually cited six men standing in the dirt road. The car stalled and three of the men approached the car. Barney related that he and Betty were taken onto the craft where they were separated.

So it's kind of lining up with Betty's dreams. He was escorted to a room by three of the men and told to Lano, small rectangular table. A cup-like device was placed over his genitals. Cup-like. He says he, cup-like. He says he did not experience an orgasm. He says he did not experience an orgasm, though he believes a sperm sample was taken.

Take you for the detail there, Barney. I can tell you, what a rip-off. Come on, I mean. Disappointing. Just give him something out of it. of this. He's getting nothing out of this. Help it, brother that's how they got it. Maybe it was. They just ripped it, ripped it right off, ripped it right out of him.

So what is he suggesting? They, like, inject it into his sort of his, his semen sack or whatever it is, and just squeeze it out. Is that what they reckon? Oh, yeah. Unfair. Well, at least, no wonder he doesn't want to relive it. That sounds painful. He did also, it's funny because I actually took it out of the report, but he did. did say that something was inserted into his anus and then very quickly removed as well. They were like, oh, sorry, wrong hole.

They've met for the belly, but... Oh, sorry to that. So similar to Betty, they were sort of like looking at his skin, his ears, his eyes, having a look at everything. He said he could feel someone feeling his spine, and it seemed like they were counting his vertebrae. So that kind of lines up with Betty's dreams, where they were sort of trying to compare what humans were like based on, you know,

versus what they were like. So they're counting his vertebrae. Betty reported a conversation. So in her hypnosis sessions as well, she remembered a conversation with the leader that she understood in English. Barney said the same that he heard them speaking in a mumbled language he didn't understand,

yet he also understood them in English. Okay. Oh, speaking in tongues. Yeah. Maybe this was religious. No, I think because a few times they communicated with him, Barney said it seemed to be thought transfer. You know, at the time he was unfamiliar with the word telepathy.

So when they're communicating with him, their mouths aren't moving. He's just like aware of what they want him to do or what they're trying to tell him. Right. So that's pretty cool. Pretty crazy. So, yeah, so maybe the way that he's hearing it in two different ways is somehow they've got software that translates it into English in his brain. And he's hearing them speak and then his mind translate it. That's pretty sick.

I believe it. Yeah, it's true. I reckon this is all real. That adds up. That sold it for you, didn't it? That sold it for me. That little detail. But isn't it weird that he's like, he's saying your dreams are fake, you're full of shit, Betty.

But obviously, you know, we were there that night and we both saw that alien and stuff. But everything since then, you know, isn't that weird? Why doesn't he, why isn't he on board? Or is he starting to believe? Well, I mean, maybe that's just his way of dealing with it. True. So Dave, Matt is very much a believer. How are you feeling at the moment?

Look, I want to believe, but I'm not there yet. I'm not there quite just yet. Okay. You're the skull to my molder, Dave. That's right, absolutely. I am a medical doctor, and I've seen evidence. I've seen all the evidence in the world say that aliens are real, but still I will not believe next week.

whereas I'll have a wild guess at a very specific theory on to explain a weird series of events and I'll always be right. Always. So that's how we're different. Always. Just like sometimes like, how have you come to that conclusion? Five minutes later, oh, he was entirely right because that's just how they wrote the episode, I guess. Great show. I absolutely love it.

Can't recommend it enough. I'm starting to battle with it. I'm struggling to get through season three, which I read is the best. season. It's been my least favourite so far. Interesting. I think I enjoyed season two the most. Yeah, love number two. Season two is great. So with the hypnosis, in her sessions with Simon, Betty would describe the map that she'd also seen in her dream. So it's coming up again in hypnosis as well. So she sketched the map from her memory, which consisted of 12 prominent stars connected by lines. She said she was

told that the stars connected by solid lines formed trade routes, where dashed lines were less traveled two stars. Right. And that's how much she remembers. Wow. It's pretty fun. Well, some people have like taken that map and like tried to figure out what it would be. And yeah, it's become its whole whole big piece of it.

I don't go into in too much detail here. Because we just don't have the time. But, and also I didn't fully understand it. Right. So it doesn't match up. Does it match up to any stars or we are. People are still searching for it, are they? I think it matches up to, yeah, it does match up to some stars.

People have matched it to them. But I don't know enough about it, but a part of me sort of feels like it's confirmation bias, you know? Sort of like it's, I'm making it fit in with what I want the answer to be. So you're being like mold up. But don't worry, that's the way to do it, Jess. Just make it up to how you want it to be and then it'll be right. Yeah, great. So after seeking the help

What I'm trying to establish, Jess, is is this a forest fend type situation and in three weeks someone will solve this mystery and find the stars and confirm it 100% when we do a podcast? I don't think so because people pretty much already have. So it's already been done. Well, they'll do it again.

Yeah. In three weeks. They'll do it again and they'll do it even more confidently. So after they sought help of hypnosis, as Betty and Barney felt better and they were able to go on with their lives. You know, it wasn't causing them as much anxiety and stress anymore. They talked about their experience with family and friends, but they never really sought out attention from the media.

You know, they didn't want, and I suppose, like, it would be such a hard thing to talk about because no one would believe you. You know, it would be the worst. But yeah, they talk about it with people, but they're not like really going out of their way to tell their story. But then in 1965, they gained some attention internationally after a reporter named John H. Latrell wrote the front page story in the Boston Traveller titled UFO Chiller.

Did they seize couple? That's so good. Apparently he'd like, he'd found recordings of conversations that they'd had with. that Nycap group and they, I think he'd even found like, or got copies of some of their sessions with the, with the psychiatrist, like stuff that he should not have been able to get his hands up.

Right. And he's written this article and then it's just sort of the story's blown up. The following year in 1966, just going to have a drink here. You know, that's a fun fact about that year. The Mighty St. Hilda Football Club won their one and only VFL AFL Premiership that year. After his actual little bit of fact, after losing the grand final in 65. But they did have the Brownlow medalists in both 65 and 66.

And who kicked a wobbly punt? Is that something? Here you go. Oh, Barry Breen kicked the wobbly punt, that famous wobbly punt to win. Because we won by that solitary wobbly punt. Wow, there was only one pun in it. One punt, one wobbly punt in it. Wow.

Fascinating. Fascinating. So, yeah, that same year, 1966, writer John G. Fuller spoke to Betty and Barney and got them to cooperate with him in writing The Interrupted Journey. The book was a quick success and gained their story a lot of attention. We have a picture of them holding this book, The Interrupted Journey. there they are Betty looking thrilled

obviously and is that Barney stopped watch was he still wearing it all these years later maybe he replaced it who knows yeah that's there that is same stopped cock

I mean that's just out of shot still right twice a day here he is showing a picture of the flying saucer to their dog oh cool the only one who'll listen that's right every night he does a dog lecture

He has to hold treats behind the easel So the dog will actually look But poor dog You know Is it possible that they were They were drugged somehow Like by the government I haven't got a theory here

But Decoveny would help me out Yeah he'd know Molda would say something like Yeah well Oh no What would Scully say How would Scully explain all this away Dave Clearly they were having

Some sort of episode Where they joined up them in their same psychosis and they've come too and now he's heard her tell her dream story and now he thinks oh that happened to me too

so that's why it correlates and then Muld is like nah it's aliens and then he's right that works no it's aliens so yeah that book the Interrupted Journey

was a big success was a hit so their story was quite well known now now now obviously there are many people who don't believe the Hill's story. What?

And there have been many theories as to what actually happened that night. One of the early theories that psychiatrists suggested was that the supposed abduction was a hallucination brought on by the stress of being an interracial couple in the early 1960s in United States. Oh, my God. Which is baffling. And Betty, Betty was told that and she was like...

Scully probably wouldn't say that. I've got to say even she wouldn't say. Yeah. Even Scully wouldn't say that. Betty discounted this suggestion, noting her relationship with Barney was very happy and their interracial marriage caused no problems with their friends or family. So don't think it was that. As noted, also in the book, The Interrupted Journey, Simon, the psychiatrist,

thought that the Hill's marital status had nothing to do with the UFO encounter. But it's fun to just jump to that sort of conclusion, isn't it? Yes. There's been a few other kind of theories. There's a skeptic blogger named Brian Dunning. He noted that the hypnosis sessions occurred over two years after the reported abductions, which afforded the couple plenty of time to discuss their encounter, you know, come up with a story.

But I mean, they told the story within a couple of days. So I'm not sure. But, yeah, I get that. I get that. But it's also the book deal. Or like if you could, like, why would they collaborate on the idea? You might say, oh, they wanted to sell this book or whatever. But that was years later and someone else's idea, it sounds like.

So it doesn't sound like that they were doing it to gain recognition. You said they actively didn't seek out media. So they weren't trying to put themselves on the map or anything. No, exactly right. And the book was written by someone else who approached them and said, I'm going to write this book. Do I have your cooperation? And they didn't write it with him.

He wrote it and just interviewed them. I'm sure they would have hopefully gotten some sort of profits from the book because it seemed to be successful, but it wasn't their idea. I'm not sure why I'm defending them. I don't fully believe what happened, but also they seem nice enough. In an article written in 1990, Martin Cotmire suggested that Barney's memories revealed under hypnosis might have been influenced by an episode of the science fiction television show The Outer Limits, which was broadcast about two weeks before Byrne's first hypnotic session.

Oh, God. Right. So he's like, there's a lot of plot points that are similar here. Betty says she has never heard of that show. So it's quite unlikely that that's the case. But people are like, oh. But he's like. There's a few things that line up.

And then the Fons was there and we were hanging out at Alstdiner and it was really fun. And then Weezer played. Surely, though, the outer limits didn't just make it up out of thin air. They were probably based their episode on previous reports, right? So that doesn't, you know if you know what I mean? I guess so. But I mean, this is kind of why. widely referred to as the first reporting of an alien abduction.

Oh, not just in America anywhere. Oh, yeah, you're right. It was specifically in the US. But surely things had happened before the 60s. Surely it wasn't just the 60s. I mean, this is something we could probably quickly Google, but I refuse to. I think sometimes on the X-Files, Mulder refers to, like,

stories from Native American people and things like that and points to like images of drawings of obviously this is probably made up for the show to be honest now I'm thinking about it but there's often like you know depictions

you know cave art and things on that show anyway where they're like this could be interpreted as someone an alien species visiting hundreds or thousands of years earlier but I don't know if that's true I think a lot of that stuff on the X-Files

is based on truth based on, or at least based on real stories, I believe. The truth is out there. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. That sounds like the marching band version. I've got a remiss for copyright issues. So this part might, I don't know, sway you a little bit. So a columnist named Robert Schaefer wrote in the Skeptical Inquirer,

that's a fun, fun-sounding publication, says, I was present at the National UFO Conference in New York City in 1980, at which Betty presented some of the UFO photos she'd taken. She showed what must have been well over 200 slides, mostly of blips, blurs and blobs against a dark background. These were supposed to be UFOs coming in close, chasing her car, landing, etc. After her talk had exceeded about twice its allotted time, Betty was literally jeered off the stage by what had at first been a very sympathetic audience.

Oh, no. Oh, that's tough. She's used to talking to her dog for Betty. Yeah, now she's talking to people who are also really into UFOs and they're not as into it. This incident, witnessed by many of the UFOlogies, leaders and top activists, removed any lingering doubt about Betty's credibility. She had none. And later in like 95, she wrote a self-published book called A Common Sense Approach to UFOs.

This is still Robert Schaefer writing, by the way. He says, it's filled with obviously delusional stories, such as seeing entire squadrons of UFOs in flight and a truck levitating above the freeway. He also later wrote that as late as 1977, Betty Hill would go on UFO vigils at least three times a week. During one evening, she was joined by UFO enthusiast John Oswald. When asked about Betty's continuing UFO observations, Oswald stated, She's not really seeing UFOs, but she's calling them that. On the night they went out together, he said,

Mrs Hill was unable to distinguish between a landing UFO and a street light. Oh, no. Which I reckon I could tell the difference. Yeah, that's getting pretty rough. How old is she at this point? Maybe she's just past her best days of seeing UFOs. Maybe it's the kind of, maybe it's a young man's game. All women's game.

Yeah, young woman's game. You need those young eyes. But sadly, all good things must come to an end. Barney died of a sort of cerebral hemorrhage in February of 1969 at the age of 46. So not that long after all of this had happened. He died fairly young, yeah. Betty Hill died of cancer, unfortunately, in 2004 at age 85, having never remarried after Barney had passed away. So in a way, we may never really know what happened to that fateful night in September of 1961.

one, but the truth is out there. I do have a couple of fun facts, though. Is it about the Flintstones? Sadly, no. There was a 1975 TV film called The UFO Incident, and portraying Barney Hill was James Earl Jones. Oh, great. Mufasa.

I am your father. Luke. Boy, Luke. I'm your daddy. That's him. I'm your daddy. And there was also another little fun fact here. Last year in 2019, the Hill story was talked about on the Joe Rogan experience with guest Dan Aykroyd.

An expert in the field, I assume. Yeah, he is. Dan Aykroyd's a huge uophologist. His dad was as well. Big alien man. So there you go. But yeah, that brings me to the end of the report. And now that we've got all of the information,

what do you reckon happened? Well, I think what happened here is the UFO community were jealous that they never had a cool story like Betty did, and that's why they jitter off the stage because they were bitter losers. Don't get bitter, get Betty. That's what I say. That's beautiful. What's your theory, though, Jess?

Well, I mean, something must have happened, hey. I'm not sure what. So I'm just going to say that it probably happened. Dave, what do you reckon? I want to believe. I reckon that it must have happened, right? Yeah. Something happened.

And then maybe she was chasing that dream and nothing else happened since and she maybe lost it a bit. Maybe it broke her. Something's happened there. And I think it was the US government allegedly drugging them. Can I say MK Ultra?

I think you're right on something there. Like I think she sort of was chasing more information on what had happened to her. You know, like she became really interested in UFOs, maybe even a little bit obsessive about them because she wanted, she wanted to understand more what she believed it happened. That's what I reckon. Something happened to them, but it's unclear what, maybe something in the water.

LSD, LSD in the water. Yeah, a certain kind of mould got into their water. I mean, that actually has happened on the X-Files. Yeah. But yeah, so that brings us to the end of the actual report. Sorry, Jess, do you mind if I just quickly interrupt you? Just for a brief moment. Please.

I just want to tell you that this episode is brought to you and the good people at home by ExpressVPN. Ah, yes, of course. ExpressVPN, which lets you access the internet, as if you're in a different country. It's like traveling, which we can't do at the moment. That's right. If you can't travel, why not let your internet do it for you? Or pretend you're like one of those secret agents where it's like rerouting and it's like bang, now they're in South Korea, bang, now they're in Russia, bang now they're in Botswana. But that can be you at home in bed.

Yeah, it can be you pretending you're hacking the mainframe. And just like hackers in movies, it's incredibly easy. That's right. But the one thing you might be using ExpressPN is, and I didn't know this before I got it, is that is Netflix has different shows and movies available, depending on where you are. So with ExpressVPN, you can unlock thousands of new shows and movies

from streaming libraries around the globe. Yeah. And I mean, there are so many VPNs out there these days. It's a big industry. But ExpressVPN is super fast. You can stream everything in HD quality and you don't have to worry about buffering

where it's just sort of sitting there and it's loading and you're like, what's going to happen? It's stopped on a major plot point. Oh, God. Well, that went happen with ExpressVPN, and you can use it on your phone, your laptop, your tablet, even your TV, and you can use it for many streaming services, not just Netflix. We're talking about Amazon Prime, BBC IPlayer, YouTube, if you've ever heard of it, and many, many more. And Dave, you have very recently taken a little bit of an internet journey yourself.

That's right. I've been on holiday over the last couple of days. My internet thinks that I've been in Germany. Oh, I wish I'd use something in German to say. Oh, good and tug. Damn it, yes, perfect. The great thing about ExpressVPN is you can use obviously Netflix from other countries. In Australia, we've got some good action movies on Netflix, but in Germany, they have awesome ones. On the weekend, I watched Terminator 2 Judgment Day, my all-time favorite movie.

Your favorite, I was going to say your favorite Terminator. I did not know that was an all-time favorite movie. That's a huge call. Oh, definitely in the top three. So that was fantastic. And also on German Netflix, last night I watched another action classic, another James Cameron film, actually. Aliens. Ooh.

So, you know, this is the kind of content that's available to you. Thanks to ExpressVPN. That's right. Go out there and enjoy some action movies on the German Netflix, for example. And great news. If you use our link right now at ExpressVPN.com slash do go on, you can get an extra three months of ExpressVPN for free. Free!

Oh my God. Imagine how many James Cameron films you could watch in three months. Honestly, I can't even do this. the math, but it's a huge number. That's expressvpn.com slash do go on. Well, that actually brings us to everyone's favorite part of the show. That report was so good, Jess. I reckon it was one of the best ever.

Wow. Thank you. And I'm saying that because I believe it. You nailed that. Are you stalling because you're trying to find the fact quote of question? Because I thought, you know what? Last week was the celebration for 250, but Jess brought the party here today. So firstly, we like to go through people's fact quotes and questions.

And the way you get involved in this is if you go to the Patreon, patreon.com slash do go on pot and you sign up to the Sydney-Shaunberg Deluxe Memorial Edition, Rest in Peace level. And you get to give us a fact, a quota of question. You get all sorts of other rewards as well. And there's all sorts of different levels for every bunch of. it. You know, in the entry level, you get to vote on a topic every three weeks, all the way up to getting a video every month from us and also voting for two of the three topics and getting to give us a fact quote. There's all sorts of different things. So the main thing probably is the

bonus episodes. Yeah. And we do three of those a month now. And they're always a lot of fun. We do one bonus report. We do one phrasing the bar, our new show about the movies. of the genius actor Brendan Fraser, the man of a thousand faces. And we also do one extra one, which is normally a quiz or some other fun idea that we've come up with.

We haven't recorded that one yet. I can't wait to find out what Dave's got for us this month. But anyway, let's get into the fact quote or question, which I believe has a jingle. Fact quote or question. Oh, you remember the ding. Always remembers the ding.

And the way this works is one of those people on the Sydney Shop. Dunberg Deluxe Memorial level will give us fact, quote or question. I'll also give us a title for themselves. And this week to kick us off, Jessica English, who's given herself the title of Chief Inspiration Officer. Oh, love that. I feel inspired. I do too.

I love that very much. And I also love a question, which I've read. It's very quick, what are your ideal napping conditions? Oh, okay. So normally, I quite like it when you just sort of doze off on the couch. That's really nice. But when I work overnight, I like to fully go to bed. I get into my PJs.

This will be like either in the afternoon before or like after dinner, get into my PJs, take the bra off, get into bed, lights off, little mask on. you know, just fully convince my body that we're having a proper sleep, even though we're absolutely not. That's a good nap. That's a good nap. That's like just a shrunk down sleep. Yeah.

Which is what some people call a nap. I've got two rules and two rules alone. Rule number one, it shouldn't be more than about 90 minutes. Otherwise you will wake up groggy as fuck, and that's no longer a nap. That's just full sleep. once you're in for 90 minutes, I reckon you've got to sleep right through. And rule number two is you can't go to fall asleep during the day

and wake up when it's now dark because it's really confusing and your body freaks out. So you're going to go to fall asleep during the day and wake up during the day. I think that's a good rule. I do not abide by it though. No. I normally don't set a time or anything.

I just nap as long as my body needs to nap. And I'm more like Jess, I'll go to bed and, yeah, just try and sleep. Normally I'll be trying to catch the wave, right? I'm feeling tired. Maybe I'll listen to a podcast or something and just drift off. Love it. I love a nap real, real good and real bad. Love it.

Great question, Jessica. If you're falling asleep in the day, sometimes it just happens. happens, you're just lying on the couch watching TV and you just doze off and you wake up and it's dark because you've fallen asleep at like 4.30pm, you know? You wake up and it's dark and you're like, what year is it? Is my family dead? Like, you don't know what's going on. Yeah. Have I been cryogenically frozen? That's good. I don't think I don't know if my answer was as thorough as you or two, but I really enjoyed the um to hear about your structures i love dave how he has rules for for nearly everything

so thanks for getting us to that jessica english the chief inspiration officer the next one comes from zach lewellyn zach with an e at the end so maybe zaki or zash zash shay the junior vice chancellor in charge of distribution of grindage and weazen Whizzen. A wonder. Grindage. Thanks. Zach.

Zashi. Zach also has a question and it is Scar or Scat. Can we get a final ruling on which is which? Scat versus Scar. Scar versus Scat. Now, Jess, I have no idea what Scat is.

Okay. Well, Dave was in a scar band. So you've got some expertise in this area. Yep, that's right. The Wees. Was it the Wees? I wish. E's Hornet?

Basically, if you want to know what scar is, you've got to go back and listen to Weed Hornet. Okay. For example, songs like Criminal, never knew. Who Cares was one of our hits. That sounds so Scar. Can I do a little snippet of one of your Scar songs?

Please, please do it. My favourite is Criminal and it goes a little something like this. Duba-d-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-b-dib-dab-bba. Criminal. That's my favorite bit. Yeah, that's real good. That's the scat bit in the Scar song. Is that right, Jess?

No, that's scar music. That's scar music. That's what it is. She's doing scar in the scar song. Oh, okay, sorry. But Scat, I don't really... You're scarring. I also don't really know that.

Do we have that in Australia, scat? I don't think Scat's a thing. I think Zach's very confused there. This is borderline mean. Because you know people don't understand what you're doing, Jess. Anyway. So many people so confused. All right.

So I think that's a great, what, do you want to? No, I think Jess it's best to leave it as it is. In the imagination. Let the joke lie. It's like I'm not going to explain. The next one comes from Hillary McKay. Thank you so much, Zach. This next one comes from Hillary McKay,

whose title is Queen of the Mile people, which I wonder if that's not a typo for mole people then maybe there's somewhere she's the queen of people who are a mile tall or a mile deep like moles could it be Hillary McKay I love it either way

that's fantastic Hillary's also asked a question and the question is where did Bop come from the nickname but also the enigma that is Jess Bop Perkins. Where does she get all her funny? Well, the nickname came from a very early episode.

Which episode was it? It was episode 10, the big bopper. Yeah, it was. Because, yeah, we mentioned the big bopper, whose name was J.P. Richardson. And my initials, a J.P. So from there, we extrapolated Bopper, which then, in classic Australian fashion,

we shortened to Bob and here we are a hundred and two hundred and forty episodes later still doing it nearly five years I did not think that that was going to really take off but do you remember we shouldn't have condensed the story so short really we should have saved this for a full episode when we went to we were going to the UK last year I was buying a couple of things online that I needed and I was five dollars away from free delivery so I was like all right let's look at some What did they got cheap?

And they had silk eye masks that you could personalise for $5. So I got one and it says bop on it. And I have that in my house now. So that's fun. That's a little fun fact, I guess. It's really made a mark on you. Yeah. I'm going to get you two to tattoo bop on yourselves.

It'd be weird if I did it, obviously. But it'd be flattering if you did it. Can we get a professional to tattoo it? Do we have to tattoo it ourselves? I'll do it. Okay. I'll mark you. at least.

All right. You can brand me. And the second part of that question, Jess, where do you get all your funny? When do you get your ideas? Where do I get my funny? Have you always been funny? Yes.

Of course I have. I don't know. Genetics. My parents are pretty funny. My brother's very funny. Funny James. You know, when you grow up, a kind of weird kid, you just have to develop a sense of humour.

When you have teeth as messed up as mine were, you develop a thick skin and a sense of humour. Now, I've got fantastic teeth. Wow. Win, win, win. I know. So teeth is the answer. Yeah, get shit teeth. If you want to have funny kids, just mess up their teeth.

Yeah, don't give them, don't see an orthodontist in a timely manner. Actually, we went. I had braces when I was 11. Of course, you do. That's young. Affluent. East, anybody. All right.

Well, that answers your question there, Hillary. Fantastic question. Well asked. Well answered. And finally, Thomas Doppler writer. Thomas. Also known as official quiz master of the Dugan Patreon Facebook group. You can upgrade that now, Thomas,

to the official quiz master of the Dugan Patreon bonus episodes as well, because we did an episode that was, written by Thomas last month and it was fantastic. Listen along. Be frustrated with the question we didn't get. And Thomas has also asked a question. His question is, if you could be a movie character for one day, who would you like to be? For example, Indiana, I like how is the examples of movie characters. For example, Indiana Jones, Darth Vader, the shark from jaws. Fantastic use of the rule of three there. My first answer, first thing that came to mind would be Captain Marvel.

But also, then I'd have to fight bad guys. A lot of pressure. I'd like it during peacetime, you know? I'd love a day as Captain Marvel during peacetime so I could just kind of fuck around with her powers for a bit. That'd be cool. Wasn't one of her storylines that when it was peacetime on Earth, she was off fixing up trouble in other galaxies and stuff?

Yes. I would be on earth during earth peace time. But you need peace time not only on earth, but in all the galaxies. I need intergalactic peace. Okay, well maybe somewhere far away could be having some issues, but she's on a well-earned holiday. Yeah, you want to just get to step in for a day. You want her either on vacay or doing just some admin around the house.

Yeah, surely she has to do admin, right? Right. Just hang out, just have a bath, but with superpowers. You could like heat the water. self or something. Yes! The path would never go cold. Oh,

these are the big bonuses that you don't hear about. That's my answer. That's great. I would want to be Arnold Schwarzenegger's T-1000 from Terminator 2, so be a good Terminator, but be able to just like take any injury and like basically be shot at and be a robot or whatever and also have super strength. also just looks super cool and right around on a chopper and just be like super sick that's that's my

just be like super sick yeah um i don't i don't i can't think of an answer here can you guys help me out um well what's your what are your favorite movies someone from with nail and i i was thinking yeah i was thinking about my favorite movies are all pretty grim uh you got with nail and eyes i don't think anyone would want to choose to be either of them what about brentz and Fraser as Rick O'Connell in The Mummy. God, I'd be pretty good. Just to have the hair, you know? He looked so cool.

And I like travelling and exploring and stuff, but I don't really like, because that's back in the old days, and I like modern medicine. Okay. It's one day. You're anticipating being sick. Oh, it's one day.

Sorry, it's only one day. Is it one day? It is for one day. It's not one life time. And you're anticipating I'll have a cold. You're like, oh, no, I'll get consumption. Oh, no. Okay, no, for one day I could handle that.

What about Caesar, the ape from Rebooted Plano of the Apes? That's a good one. I should have chosen a male character so then I could have peed standing up. Oh, I should have chosen a female character so I could have peed sitting down. I refuse to do it. Yeah, all right, good question, Thomas. I'm going to be thinking about that later and regretting that I didn't say something else, but A little insight into my personality.

All right. Now, the other thing we like to do is thank a few of our other patrons. And Jess, you normally come up with a little game, something relating to the episode topic that we just did. Do you have one for today? I was just thinking what kind of creature would abduct them. Okay. Great.

Love that. So rather than hairy, gray aliens like it was today, What kind of creature? Well, if I could kick it off, if you, okay with that. Yeah. I would love to thank from Essex in the United States in VT, which is probably Vermont, I reckon, Dave. The best state there is.

I'd love to thank Zach Briggs. Zach Briggs. Zach Briggs. Zachary Briggs. Is abducted by circus bears. Whoa. Whoa. There's one bear the leader is on a little unicycle.

That's wild. But they're very friendly bears because they've known the, you know, how it feels to be trapped in the circus. So they're very friendly to Zach. That's nice. They take him in and they teach him how to ride a unicycle. Oh, friendly circus bears. So they are escaped circus bears?

Yes. Now they're living their life on the lamb. Yeah. I don't know what that. What does the lamb mean? Anyone know? On the run. On the run.

It was great. They're on the lamb. Fantastic. Oh, that's a real good one. I wonder what Zachary's experience of Creamies is. Yes, perfect. In fact, he's the guy to ask. He might be, actually, this makes a total sense.

There was a Zachary from Vermont that sent me a Vermont shirt with Creamies on it. So I imagine. I reckon that could be him. That's got to be him. Zachary. Oh, that's great. Thank you so much, by the way. I live for Creamies and I live for Vermits.

them up. I live for Craveys. That's fun. So, thank you so much. It all makes sense. Well, I'd love to thank,

if I may, also from America, but this time from Broomfield in CO, which is either Colorado or Connecticut. I reckon Colorado. I think it's Colorado.

Because you'd reckon Connecticut would be CN and California is CAA, maybe. So I'm going to say from Broomfield, Colorado, it's Reese Smith. Reese Smith.

Oh, Reesmith has been abducted by giant wasps. Whoa. Are they friendly? Very. Almost too friendly. Oh, they're like, they're, they really fuss over it. Yeah, like they're pampering him and he's like, can I just have five minutes alone?

And they're like, oh, oh, yes, sir, can I get you anything? Of course, yes, of course. Can we leave you? Can we give you, do you want a drink? Do you good? And he's just like, just leave me alone, please. Let me pee standing up. Yeah, I get it.

If I could pee standing up, I would. Oh, yeah, enjoy it. Who did you pick? I reckon Captain Marvel could probably, she'd have the power of peace standing up, surely. She can do anything. Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

I could. Yeah. But is that, maybe that's how she keeps the bathwater warm. Oh, Dave. That's funny. That's a funny. one, Dave. Well done.

Thanks, everyone. And for my final shout out this week, I'd love to thank, well, she hasn't got an address down, and I know she is a woman of the world because she's from America, but living in Thailand at different times. I'm not sure where you are right now, but I'd love to thank Linda Moulton. Thanks, Linda. Linda has been, Dave, I'll set you up. Linda has been abducted by tiny little chicken nuggets.

Whoa, nuggets. But like really little ones. Really little ones. Like so small, like tiny. Oh, cute. Little nuggets. Like popcorn chicken kind of small. Basically popcorn chicken, but we want to avoid copyright.

So we're just calling little chicken nuggets. Yeah, great. Mini nugs. Mini nugs. How did they abduct it? Are they sentient beans? Yeah, they've become, well, they've been sentient this whole time and we just didn't realize. What?

Waity, what, that sounds like, remember those Futurama little guys that they were little popping things that everyone thought were delicious and it turned out how alive? I don't remember that, but I may have stolen that. I may have stolen that idea for sure. Oh, I do remember that. It was very upsetting. Very upsetting. If people ever ask me from now on why I don't eat meat, that's going to be my answer. That was probably quite traumatic to watch.

Because Dave told me. No, because I do remember that. Nuggets. Those poor guys. So abducted by a little tiny chicken nuggets. And don't worry, Linda, if you want to escape, just eat you out of freedom. You'll be right. You'll be right.

It's so small. That'd be delicious. May I please thank some people as well? That would be so nice if you do. I would love to thank from Kingeroy in Queensland, Samantha Russell. Oh, Samantha Russell. Sammy Russ. Sammy Russ.

And Matt, what's Sam been abducted by? Abducted by sentient cricket bats. What? Oh, no. How many of them? Oh, there was a whole bag full. No way. Six.

Six. Six. Are they friendly? Well, it depends on which one. You know, they're not all the same. Of course, yeah. I suppose that's a, yeah. Matt, that's actually pretty, yeah,

all cricket bats have the same sort of temperament. Actually a bit off there, Jess. Matt, do you remember when you misremember the name of that cricket brand? Yeah. But then it turned out to be the right brand. Someone messaged me later, I think. Very confusing circumstances. It was SS.

at Surridge and then I looked it up and it was, it named something else very confusing. But apparently I was right in the end somehow. That's all that matters. Thanks for taking us back to the great memory. What a great memory. I hope that we would remember the exact, yeah, everything that you thought it was and then what it was, but it wasn't meant to be. It wasn't meant to be.

Thanks, Sammy Russ. But that's been captured. Hasn't that been captured forever on a previous podcast? Yeah, go search it out. It was a great moment in my life. I would also love to thank from Ottawa in Canada, Erica Parody. Oh, well done on the pronunciation there too, Jess. Well, Erica, put it in there for us, which I love.

No, she actually messaged me. I put it in there because she messaged me hearing, I'd butcher pronunciation on primates or something. And she told me, I'm like, oh, make a note of that. Yeah, good one. Good job. Because, I mean, it's not, phonetically, that is not how you pronounce it, but I love it. Parody.

Parity. And Dave, Erica, is abducted by Nick Cave in the Bad Seeds. Whoa. So that'd be a bit of fun. Go on tour with them. That's great. So, I mean, they do have a real rotating membership in the Bad Seas. No original Bad Seeds still are in the band, I don't think.

Right, yeah. They need a new bass player. They're like, this kid's got it. Let's get it. Yeah. Wow. Congratulations, Erica. You want to play music live.

I hope so. I mean, sometimes you've just got talent and you just really, you've got to play to his strengths, even if Nick Cave's forcing you to. That's a good one. Thank you. Erica. Also love to thank from Warrington VA. What's VA?

That's Virginia. Virginia. Virginia. Taylor H. Edgar. Oh. Oh, that's a, we've had on this episode you even noted just how many initials we had. Love it. Love it.

I feel like people don't do that as much anymore. No. And I think it often happens with people who need to sign up to like, like actors will often have them because they can't double up on names. Yeah. And murderers, they often give the middle name because they don't want to ruin that name for everyone. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. So are you saying Taylor might be a murderer?

Or an actor. Or trying to distance themselves from a murderer called Taylor Edgar. Oh, that's true. Taylor Edgar is already a great name, so really joshed it up even further. Taylor H is great as well. Taylor, of course, is abducted by a collection of confetti cannons. Oh, whoa. About a hundred of them.

It's like quite a community. They're like aimed at her or them, I should say. Not sure about Taylor. are they aimed at them and Taylor's like well I better go with these people are they going to shoot me with the confetti yes but then eventually after a little bit it was just like a communication breakdown once they sort of realise Taylor's friendly they're friendly then it's just a nice community that she's welcomed into that they're welcomed into so that's nice very nice hmm Dave you want to bring her I like the initials as well T-H-E the

the that's good Yeah, I like that. All right, I got a couple of beautiful names that I want to get through here. This is two for the price of one here. I would like to thank from McKinney in Texas. We've got Joseph and Alicia Moore. Oh. Power couple.

Oh, yeah. Love that. Well, it's going to have to be quite a powerful being to abduct both. Any guesses there, Jess? Maybe, do you think it could be the whole crew of McDonald's monsters? Ronald, Grimmis, Birdie, hamburger, Chief McNuggets or whatever that guy's. Mayor McChese. Yes.

And what's the Moon one? Bert Newton. Remember there was the McDonald's like midnight. Do you know what I'm talking about? The singing, smooth, jazz, moon. Oh, I mean, they're all very scary. Do they still exist? They've dropped them, haven't they?

Maybe you all, maybe you see Ronald a little bit, but you don't really get much. much of Grimus anymore. Right. Grimus was my favourite. I loved. I don't know what Grimus was. Grimus was my favourite as a kid. But I loved Grimus.

Yeah. I don't know why. I don't know what Grimus is. Why did they have the hamburger? Showing people out to steal their own product? He's already dead. So thank you, Joseph and Alicia. I'd like to thank now from Waddle Grove,

very Australian-sounding in New South Wales. Jess Wooten. Jess Wooten. What a great name that is. Fantastic, yeah. I love that. Love everything about that. Well done, Jess.

Jess was abducted by a rainbow. What? That sounds fun. Yep. Rainbow came on down, took Jess up. It came on down. Did she get the pot of gold at least? Yes.

Oh, that's good. Was a lepricorn involved? Jess is mega wealthy now. Wow. Magic pot of gold? You don't hear enough good abduction stories, you know? Abductions get a bad name. I would finally like to thank from Clarksville in Maryland.

Take the last train of Claxville and I'll meet you out of station. It's a very monkeys episode today. Wait, no. Was that off pod or on pod when someone said something about the monkeys? Doesn't matter. They may have been part of the live stream, so if you want to unlock that joke, head to SOSPresents.com. Look at Dave.

He's so good. He's a businessman. Oh, yeah, for sure. He wears business shoes. I would like to thank Natalie M. Greenlee. Natalie M. Greenlee. Love the amount of syllables you've squeezed into that amount of letters. And Natalie was abducted by the energizer bunny.

Oh. Well, I always say you just can't top the copper top, but yeah, in this case, has been done. Is that an ad catchphrase that you guys recall? I don't remember that. I don't remember that one, but. Do you have never heard that in my life. I really hope that. Never want to again.

I hope in Maryland that they get the energizer bunny so Natalie knows what I'm talking about. Yeah, it's a bunny. It's a bunny that keeps going because it's got a certain brand of batteries in it. Geez, we're showing us susceptible without advertising today. Yeah. But we also think that how threatened we feel by them, we feel like they could abduct us at any moment. Yeah, they're all evil. They could and they will.

So I believe that brings us to the only thing left to do, and that is see if anyone's going to be inducted into the Triptitch Club this week, Matt. That's right. So let's have a buddy look. Dave, do you want to explain what it is while I check the door? list. Sure thing. So people that have supported the show at the shout-out level or above for three consecutive

years, 36 straight months, to say thank you again, because we've already given you a shout-out once. To say thank you again, we've actually inducting these people as life members into the Triptitch Club, which is sort of a very exclusive lounge slash bar, slash restaurant, slash hangout space. Where you can hang out with like-minded people that support the show on Patreon and enjoy some hors d'oeuvs that change every week and also see some live. live music.

And Jess, what's on the menu this week? This week, you may remember the classic children's party staple frog in a pond. But what we have this week, a little chocolate aliens in ponds of jelly. I love jelly so much. Jelly's so good. I love, I still love it.

I suppose you don't have to chew it, which is one thing I love with my swallowing difficulties. I just, and the tape, oh, can I get jelly in quarantine? Is that allowed? What's your favorite jelly flavor? I tell you, who I feel jelly of, people with jelly. Because I think often, often it's not even vegetarian. I haven't had it in years, jelly.

Does it taste as good as you remember it as a kid? Absolutely. And it still holds up. I love that. In answer to your question, just I think you asked, favorite flavor, raspberry jelly. Oh my goodness. Yeah, raspberry's good.

Port wine's good. Oh, yeah, port wine. Strawberry's nice. What about green? What flavour is green jelly? Do you like lime? Because you'd often see the ponds. Yeah, the ponds were green or blue.

And I actually hated frog in a pond because it made the chocolate a weird texture. Yeah, it did ruin the chocolate a bit, the Fredo. It's a fun concept. These are alien Fredos. What feeling would you have? You go on like caramel a koala, you go minced, soft strawberry. Mint, so they're green inside. Oh, that's a good.

Like I imagine aliens are. That's great. All right, so are we ready to induct a few? Oh, well, performing live this week, it is the music of Alien Ant Farm. Performing all their hits, for example, smooth criminal and others. Wow. All right, Dave, you ready to hype some new names into the club? Oh, right, here we go.

Lift that velvet rope. We're bringing them in. Here we go. How many have we got today? we have four inductees. Oh, see what I can do. Here we go. From Phoenix, Arizona, it's James Duquette.

Ooh, Duquette like a Phoenix rising from the ashes straight into the club. From Peru, your Wellington, New Zealand. It's Mike Shirley. Oh, Shirley, you can't be serious. Yes, he is. From Camborne in England, it's Dom Benatar. Oh, this night has just gotten a little Benatar. Would you agree?

Hopefully Domken hit us with his best shot. And finally, from Louisville, Kentucky in the United States, it's Drew Johnson. Ooh. I just drew not the short straw, but the long straw with you arriving, my friend. Long Johnson, eh? How'd I go? Pretty good. I mean, I think how good you go is equal to how bad you go.

You're absolutely right. confusing system. You are right. But I think you were both great and awful there. Well done. Thank you. Thank you. And thank you and welcome.

And enjoy the music of alien art farm whilst eating aliens in a pond. What a day. That's so good. Does that bring us pretty much to the end of this week's episode? Yes, it does. Thank you so much for listening to it, of course. We do appreciate you lending us your ears. You can get in contact at any time at do go onpod.com,

which is our current website. and soon to be revamped. Yeah, it's going to look so sexy. We've asked our web design it to really sex it up. He's asked several times for clarification on what we mean by that, but we just say, just sex it up. You feel it out. I just keep writing back, hashtag sex it up.

I just keep writing back, hashtag sex. Yeah. Work it out, man. He doesn't get the wrong idea. It's going to look a lot like Red Tube or something. He also asked for websites that were inspired by. Dave sent him redchie. Yeah.

I sent him my own website. I said I like to look at Netflix. Google's pretty good. I think these are just things that we're looking at a lot at the moment. Netflix, Stan's pretty good too, I guess. Amazon Prime. Check it out. So if you want to check out our current website

and possibly in the future, if you're listening to this, check it out. It will be a much better website. and be a lot sexier. Go to do go onpod.com. We can find links to our Patreon that we mentioned. We have social medias, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, at do go on pod.

And you can email us, do go on pod at gmail.com. But that really is all we need to tell you. Yeah. Please do listen to our other podcast. If you're looking for something extra listening to, Dave does a biweekly podcast about books called Booksheet, which is the best book podcast in the world.

Hey, thank you. At the moment, he's halfway through going through the classic novel To Kill a Mockingbird. That's right. With fantastic guests, fifth Beatle, Nick Mason, and fourth gamey gamer Beck Petratus. And, yeah, I'm going through on Listen Now, the best or most voted for rock albums from the 80s

on Listen Now with my cousin Sam Tonkin. So far, the first three, 20, and 18 have been Huey Lewis in the News of Sports, Joan Jett and the Black Hearts' I love rock and roll and midnight oils, diesel and dust. Actually, and this week's episode will have already come out, Van Halen's 1984. Oh, great. It's like every, it's funny. I think of the 80s rock scene as being kind of myopic, if I'm using that word right? I don't know if I am. I'm not. I mean, one thing. What's the word I'm trying to say there, Jess?

I don't know. Anyway, it doesn't matter. But it's funny, every album that's come up so far has been entirely different from the others. So it's been fun to realize that the 80s was a dynamic decade of rock. Anyway, boo this baby home, Davo. All right, well, thanks so much for listening. And until next week, we'll say thanks and I'll say goodbye. Later.

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