Do Go On - 252 - Sir Donald Bradman

Episode Date: August 19, 2020

Voted the greatest male athlete of the past 200 years by the Australian Confederation of Sport in 1988, Don Bradman is seen as the greatest of all time - but you may not know the story that got him there and about the adventures he had along the way!Buy tickets to our streamed shows (there are 8 available, all with exclusive extra sections): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoonSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodCheck out our web series: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2TuMQ31VXvqqEus9Bo6FZW-dDY5ukEuh Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://web.archive.org/web/20080719191540/http://bradmantrail.com.au/https://www.cricket.com.au/news/sir-donald-bradman-adelaide-symphony-orchestra-tribute/2014-08-14https://trove.nla.gov.au/newspaper/article/16728294https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Bradmanhttps://www.cricket.com.au/news/sir-donald-bradman-adelaide-symphony-orchestra-tribute/2014-08-14

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

Welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnackie and as always. I'm with the company of Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Yes, welcome to our company. And one, two, three, go. Oh, you're thinking like a dance company. Yeah, we're a troupe. Would you prefer the term troop?

No, I was just thinking a tech startup. Yeah. I was thinking of a really exciting business opportunity. Yeah. Get on to the ground floor. You do regret it. It's just based in dance. Ah.

Okay. That could work. I was going to give you a tour of the office, including the giant slide we have. But yeah, okay, we can be a dance troupe, I guess. You can dance down a slide. Just watch me. I've tried. Wee.

I've tried. By God, he's done it. Hey Jess, how does this show work? That's what everyone's got. There's a question on everyone's lips. Well, Matt, what a fantastic question. The way this show works is one of the three of us fucks off. And we think about a topic.

We think about it. We research. We read about it. We read about it. We read about it. We bring it back to the other two. They don't know what we're going to talk about. And we talk about it for a while while they interrupt a lot.

And we usually get onto topic with a question. Yeah. Can I ask you a question? Plus. Well, here it is. Who was voted the greatest male athlete of the past 200 years by the Australian Confederation of Sport in 1988, a year you weren't born in yet? The greatest, the greatest sportsman. Greatest sportsman, male athlete of the last 200 years.

It seems like the kind of thing would be hard to judge when you assume most people on the panel weren't alive for that whole period. Most. Most. Not all, most. Yeah. You're a fool to deal in absolutes. That's a famous quote from the movies. But it's from an Australian,

what was the organisation? Australian Confederation of Sports. So is it an Australian sports person? Sports man. We know it's a man. I'm being politically correct, but we know it's a man. This is 1988. They've got no time for your PC.

In the 80s, PC meant penises and cocks. What was your youngest say? My guess is Teddy Witten. Is that right? Dropping an AFL legend there? This wasn't the Footscray Confederation of Sport, Dave. No, that is a good good. That's Mr Football.

Is it a, was it a cricketer? It was a cricketer. Was it the Don? It was the Don. Oh my God. Are we doing the Don? We're doing the Don. Finally.

Don is getting done. His Don is good. Cricketing legend, Don Bradman. my God. This is huge. It's big. I happen to know that no one's ever even requested this topic. Is that right? It's just one of my pet topic choices. No, it has been suggested multiple times by Adrian Newman by Julian McMahon Hyde. Adrian Newman actually said something like there was an injustice being done that we hadn't got around to it. And this was about three years ago when he's suggested it. Julian McMahon Hyde with a fantastic triple barrel. Kelly Clark, Courtney from Townsville,

Sam Charles Jones, another triple, and Nathan Damon, and of course, Gary Jay from the UK. Gary Jay has been petitioning for how many weeks now? He's into the 30s. I found all of his posts in the Patreon Facebook group, gave him all a tab to themselves, and it almost blew up my computer. So many of them. So I feel like we should explain to people that don't support us, on Patreon and the Facebook group there that every week he comes out begging us to put him out

of his misery and let us do the topic. He did not think it was going to take this long and he gives us facts, he gives us stories and I assume Matt you've written the entire report based on Gary Jay's stuff. What I did was I read all of Gary Jay's work. I screwed it up and I put in the bin and I started again. Yeah, that's the way true pros do it. Because Gary Jay is from the UK. And Don Bradman would have hated some Pommie Gid. No, I think he got on very well with the English Don't know I was trying to start trouble there. Apologies. Cheers Gary J. from the UK. Big cricket fan. So yeah, I did read a lot of what he wrote and some of his fun facts I'll tell you about at the end of the report, but this is a long one. I think this is the longest report I've ever

written by word count. I don't know how else you would measure it. How long is it in feet and inches? Yeah. Okay. Feel? Can you measure it in sort of vibe? You can measure in emotion, sure.

Yeah. Emotionally, it's pretty small. Okay. Word count large. I've got to say, other than obviously knowing the name Don Bradman, because he's an Australian legend, I know very little about him as a person. Yeah, right. Yeah, I think I was the same.

Same. I was very similar. Most of what I know about him is from the Paul Kelly song, Bradman. Of course. That's where I know most things. It's like a 10-minute song where he does go through a lot of his life. So, I mean, I know a lot. Anyway, I was going to include that in there, but I really, I've just been writing and writing. Anyway, let me start talking and talking instead. I'm in the transition now. Okay, so Donald George Bradman was born in Kudamundra, New South Wales, on the 20th, 27th of August 1908. 27th of August.

Yes. Oh, yeah. Is that one of your birthdays? It's very close to it. He's in between us. Oh, my God. Is he turning 30 this year? Well, I don't know if you heard the last week.

He was born in 1908. So is he turning 30 this year? I cannot stress how bad I am at maths. Just answer the question. Yes. Thank you. Yes, he is. Ooh.

Three of you sharing that big milestone together. That's pretty nice. nice. That's cute. Yeah, that's funny. So yeah, you're one of you's on the 26th and one of you's on the 28th. And I know Dave is the little one, so he's on the 28. Good job, yes. And the second littlest is Don Bradman. That's right. But he was actually the youngest in his family, the youngest of George and Emily Bradman's four kids. In 1911, the Bradman's relocated to Bowerl, about 265 kilometers east to be closer to Emily's family. According to the Bratman's Bradman Trail website. At his new home at Shepard Street Barrel, he developed a game to while

away the hours where he would repeatedly tap a golf ball with a cricket stump against a curved course of bricks supporting the family water tank. Using the house wall as one boundary on his offside, he managed to construct test matches in his head, where he, as the batsman, would pit himself against the unpredictable balls delivered by the tank stand. You know, it's funny about that. That's one of the three things that I know about Don Bradman. No, his test average, that he was the best ever. And then the third thing is that when he was a kid, he used a stump and a golf ball and hit it against a wall.

And for some reason, that's why he's the best we've ever had. Isn't it funny? It's an iconic thing about him. But when, like, I never questioned it, but reading it back, it's like, oh, little Don playing a made-up game by himself, you feel for the boy. But I mean, his three siblings, no one wants to play. Not interested. Don.

Yeah, what it doesn't mention is the other three are happily playing together. A normal game. They're playing pictonary or something. And they're asking him to play. Don, come play with us. No. No, I'm playing a test match in my mind. That's what it takes to be the best in the future.

One day I'll beat the tank. Don, you'll never make it. You'll never be anything, anything, anything, anything. Cut to him at the crease. It goes on to say. his constant application of this game, using the challenging tools that he limited himself to, acutely developed his hand-eye coordination to a very high degree. How's your eye-mouth coordination there?

I'm not early on in this report. It's not looking good. Bradman would later write in his book titled, Farewell to Cricket. I can understand how it must have developed a coordination of brain, iron muscle, which was to serve me well in matches later on. Buddy, too right, Don. Well written, hey? Not only great at cricket, also great with a word. Poet.

It's inspiring. Bradman started Kinder in 1913. I know this is the stuff you want to hear about. When did he start Kinder, though? Tell me, when did he start Kinder? Was it 4-year-old Kinder? At what point were you like, you realise this is your longest report ever

and you're talking about him about Kinder? This is very short. I whipped through his schooling. So he started kindergarten in 1913 when he was five years old. While at school, he played cricket. I don't know if that, does that take you by surprise? In 1919, he played his first organised match, scoring 55 not out. There weren't many games like this for young Don to play,

but he had another chance the following year to play against the team from nearby town Midagong. He scored 115 out of his team's total of. 156. So straight off the bat, dominating. The Bradman Foundation writes that he never suffered from nerves when confronted with new or challenging situations. He simply met the challenges as best as he was able at the time. He never did. He was never, never came across something unknown and went, huh, what's this? He was like, whatever, I've got this. Fuck off. He was missing that bit of his brain. It was very sad. It was also the bit of his brain that let him know it was embarrassing to play

stickball by yourself. He didn't know. It sounds like he's got the same biographer as Kim Jong-un. Like, oh yeah, he was the best ever. He got nine holes in one. He's never taken a shit. All right. I'm honestly nervous about things I've done a hundred times. You know, I just have a general feeling. of anxiety and unease all the time. I have that as well. People I think don't realize I do because I look dead on the outside. But inside, a little bundle of nerves. I wouldn't say you look dead per se.

I'd say dying, sure. Death warmed up. Yeah. The site goes on a recount what it calls a quote, delightful story about Don Bradman. Let's see if you agree. The headmaster at the time was in the habit of wearing a bright red cardigan and went by the nickname to the school population as Robin Redbreast. He would daily ring the school bell to close the lunch break

after considering his fob watch at the time. One day when the young Bradman was batting, Robin Redbreast appeared beside the bell. And while he was checking his watch, Don said, How's about I see if I can stop him ringing the bell? And with that, he hit the next ball straight at the teacher, knocking him to the ground. It's an evocative schoolyard tale, but sadly, cannot be confirmed.

He killed that man. I just think what a delightful story. He hit the principal in the temple and he died on site. He knocked him over. I read that in a few different places. He just hit a ball at the headmaster on purpose, knocking him to the ground. What a delightful tale. How many other people does he kill in this story?

The body count is lunch. I didn't know. tired of his test average. Sporting heroes is also a serial killer. Cold-blooded killer. Hey, didn't feel nerves or remorse. No empathy. Psychopath.

Bradman left school at 14 years of age, which apparently was pretty common back then. He left with a positive report from the headmaster. Who was terrified, he was coming back for more. Who wrote, he is truthful, honest and industrious and an unusually bright lad. Yeah, no mention of knocking him down. In 1924, the Bradman's moved around the corner to Glebe Street and into a brick Californian bungalow-style home, which George, his father, built.

The Bradman Foundation writes that Don was then an increasingly confident youngster of 15 and was already known locally for his cricket prowess as he'd been very successful in the few school games he'd played. However, his primary activities around the house often included musical recitals. This is something I definitely didn't know. about him. Don Bradman had been taught the piano by his elder sister, Lillian, herself later to become a professional piano teacher, and often the living room of the house resonated with the sounds of piano, violin and accordion with wonderful sing songs, as Lillian later described

them. Often the Bradman's would invite neighbours over to participate in these musical gatherings, so at times the modest lounge would have been very crowded. That's a great, another delightful anecdote. be confirmed. By the mid-20s, his cricket was starting to attract more attention from beyond the local area, according to the Bradman Foundation again. During the 1925-26 season, playing for the Bowerl Cricket Club, he scored 234 runs against the team from Wingelo, a town located between Beryl and Goldman. Bradman was a diminutive 16-year-old and played that innings against the fiery Bill O'Reilly, later to lead a distinguished career as an Australian test bowler. O'Reilly recalls his first

encounter with Bradman played on Glebe Park, which would later be renamed Bradman Oval, which is fun. There's all these stories about him walking across Glebe Park on his way to school and different things. And it's funny to think, in a couple of decades, that's just going to be named after you. Wow, that's kind of cool. So Bill O'Reilly later remembered when the boy, Bradman struck that memorable innings in 1925. He approached the wicket with what seems.

like the diffident gait of a stopgap performer. What stuck me most about him was the difficulty he seemed to be having in taking normal steps as he approached. His pads seemed to reach right up to his navel. Even though his size suggested that he would be better fitted physically to have been riding winners at Randwick Racecourse, he summoned up the energy required to land the ball right over the fence on half a dozen occasions.

And that's, that was Bill O'Reilly recounting that in 1985, which is a real fun because he, even fully grown, he was always a small, small guy for a sportsman. So it's a funny image that he was like struggling to even walk with the pads and then he go out and just smacked around these adults. Yeah. I also like the writing there that he couldn't just say he looked like a jockey. Yeah.

That's ex-c cricketer, Bill O'Reilly for you. Got away with words. Beautiful. Back then, you couldn't only do one job. cricket didn't pay a lot. So most of them were also poets. Oh, and poetry, as we all know, pays the big bucks. Poetry and mime, I think, are the two best paid in the arts industry, I believe. Certainly in the 30s.

Jugglers, I think, a third. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Especially the ones at traffic lights. That's one business people aren't talking about, which would be pretty hard hit in the lockdown. That's right. According to the Library of New South Wales, Bill O'Reilly was what rated by Don Bradman and as the best bowler he had ever faced.

By the end of the season, Bradman had broken the district record score by making 300 runs in the final play between Beryl and Mossvale. The innings caught the attention of the New South Wales state selectors. He was invited to a net session at the SCG in October of 1926. He impressed and was invited to join the central Cumberland cricket club, but when they refused to compensate the loss of income, he'd suffered from travelling to Sydney to play. So for Bradman to play in Sydney, he had to leave.

barrel every Saturday to catch a train at 5 a.m. and wouldn't return till midnight. And he's like, if you want me to play, I'll just need some, um, uh, some cash for that, if that's okay. And they're like, nah, you've looked very good, but you're not worth a bit of money. Luckily, another club saw his potential. And St. George jumped at the chance to sign him up. On the 27th of November, 1926, in Bradman's first match for St. George, he scored 110 in as many minutes. scored pretty quick. Bradman continued to climb up the ranks when he was selected to represent his state

for the 27-28 summer. Bradman moved to Sydney later in 1928, and this meant that he would avoid having to make the long return train journey for games as well as allowing him to train with teammates on turf wickets during the week. So before that he was training on these bush wickets that weren't even the same wickets he'd play on the weekend.

Wow. This really helped his game, I imagine. And he's only 20 by this stage. So he was just a gun the whole way through. Dave, are you impressed by my quick maths? Wow. I'm just catching up now. Because he was born in 1908, you see.

And then this is in 1928. And what I did there was I quickly deduced. There was about 20 year difference there. I reckon that that was just a really lucky guess. It wasn't. It was deduction. You show you weren't just rounding off. and got lucky.

It's deduction. I knew I was right. Oh, you deduced it. Very good. Hey, do you reckon it's worth for overseas people just to explain briefly? What cricket is. What cricket is. Do you want to take us through the basics, Dave?

Also, I just want to talk about how, like, you're saying he's scoring over 100 or 300 and all this sort of stuff. We should probably just say that that's a lot. Yes. Yes, for the listeners, not for the other people on the podcast. who perhaps don't know much about cricket, the listeners need to know how the scoring works. Obviously, we three do very well. Oh, yes, so much.

A hundred is a lot. A hundred and it's probably the equivalent of like a triple double in basketball. Thank you. No, that would be more like scoring 100 and taking a couple of wickets, would it? I don't know. Is it like scoring 40 or 50 in basketball probably? Yeah. Something like that.

That's a lot, yeah. In most games, you'd be probably the best. person who scored the most runs or points for your team, basically. Yeah. Yeah. And he's doing that a lot. He's doing that at every level and every level he gets to, he dominates and goes up to the next level.

So now he's at state level, which is the second highest level you can play in Australia or in the world. So I impressed at state level, this first class cricket, okay, a racking up runs and was rewarded with his first baggy green cap, getting a call up to the Australian team. The baggy green, that's sort of that, that's the sixth. of playing test cricket for Australia. You get given a baggy green cap. These days you get it with the number you are,

like you're the 643rd cricketer to wear the baggy green. I have no idea how many people have played it. Probably not that high, isn't it? I don't know. I was thinking that seemed low. It's a great honour. It's a great. Yes.

They say the Australian cricket team captain is the second most powerful job in Australia after the PM? Or is it the other way around? Who's got the nuclear codes? I think it's the cricketers. We don't have that. Yeah, it's probably Michael Clark. Who can release the dingoes?

Michael Clark. Yeah, the captain from 10 years ago, yeah. Yeah, that's right. You've got to have experience. Who's the captain now? It's pain, isn't it? I believe. Tim Payne.

Is the test captain? Yes. That's not date this episode. Yes, sorry. Michael Clark, was it? Yeah, continue to talk about Don Bradman from the fucking 1920s. Yeah, don't date it, Matt. Let's not date it.

Let's not talk about the past. I wrote, so the first half of this I wrote like three weeks ago, and I'm real, it's very dry, and I apologize. I think the second half I wrote with a bit more of an eye for it to be interesting. So stick around. We've got some good stuff coming on. Everyone just hold on. No, I really probably could have used an edit this one.

Anyway, look, he's just got his baggy green. Yeah. You know? Things are heating up. That's big. Getting hot at the top. So I got his baggy green cap. And in only his 10th first class match, Bradman debuted for Australia.

But he found it pretty tough. In fact, the whole side found it hard going. scoring only 66 in the second innings and losing the match to England by a whopping 675 runs. Bradman scored 18 and 1 in his two innings. As a result, Bradman was dropped to 12th man in the second test of the series, but this would be the only occasion Bradman would be dropped from the side in his career. He returned for the third test, played at the MCG in our home state and city of Melbourne, Victoria. God bless our boys.

I can see it from my house when all the lights are on. When I close my eyes, I can see it from my house too. No, Matt, I'm not talking like metaphorically. God bless that fair stadia. Yeah, I know. I can see it from my house. Yes. I can see the lights are on.

I can see it right now. No, guys, I'm serious. I can literally see it. I can see it too, that frame photo of it on my wall. Oh, forget it. I'm actually locked down in the MCG right now. Oh, wow. I'm sleeping here.

Wow. Sleeping on the grass. Well, wherever you were, that's where you had to stay. I know. Why don't you break into one of the private boxes? They've got to be a bit comfier. I was wherever you were, you had to stay. And I was streaking on the MCG.

So I've got my clothes. I've been on the MCG turf, I think three times. What? At least three times. Once when I played like half-time Little League footy between a Saints Essendon game. Were they doing that back in your day? That was, I think it was the first time they tried it out. That's very cute.

It was just a paddock. Had to shoot some cows out of the way. And then one time, one time they do a fun run where you can, you finish on the ground, which is kind of fun. And then the other time was when a mate got married, he had his wedding after party thing at the MCG. and we went out and got photos on the ground. There was only just tiny little bit of graphs they let you stand on, but that was kind of fun. That's cool.

That's an expensive wedding reception. Yeah, well, he had 100,000 people coming, so. I mean, yeah, you're limited bandwidth. Yeah. And, you know, he charged for everyone paid. So he made a tiny profit, I think. Was the celebrant Michael Clark? Dave, don't date this episode.

Don't date this episode with your dated references. Matt, please continue to talk about a very old dead cricketer. Oh, spoiler. So he got him for his second match at the top level, and he showed what he could do, scoring 79 and 112, with the second inning scoring, making him the youngest player to score a test century to that point at just 20 years of age. Records been broken since, but at the time, it was a record.

It was a record. Broken by Clarkie? I don't think Clarkie did it. No, I think it's been broken multiple times. Where to fucking God, Dave. Neil Harvey, who I'll mention later. Bringing out Michael fucking Clark. He's, I'm going to murder you.

Remember he was in that glamour couple with Laura Dingle? Lara Bingle? Yeah. Oh, no. That was nowhere near. Was it no? I mean, it was close. You knew what I was talking about.

Where the bloody heart. Hell was her name when I couldn't think of it. There's one for the Australians. Despite Bradman's scores, Australia again lost the match. In the fourth test, Australia lost again, this time by only 12 runs. Bradman looked set to take Australia to victory, but he was run out on 58. This would be the only time he was run out in his whole test career. Wow, because that's a pretty common way to go out, isn't it?

Yeah, it's relatively common. most batsman would go out more than once in your third test. I think he was pretty stubborn and he really learnt from his lessons. He's like, not making that mistake again. He's sort of pretty famous for not hitting many sixes. He made so many runs, but very few of them sixes. And his theory was, if you hit it all along the ground, you can't get caught out. So he barely hit it in the air.

Like he was just sort of wily and smart as well as being sort of brilliant. And Jess, I'm not sure of you know, but of course, The six being when he hit it over the fence on the fall. Bit like a home run, if you will. In basketball. Yes. Now that I'm familiar with. And Dave, you don't have to explain it to me.

If you feel at any point you need to explain some of the lingo to our listeners, please, buy all meets. I won't step on your toes there. But I mean, I get it, obviously. The way I read that was Dave was talking to Jess, sort of a personification. of the listener. Do you think of me as a listener of this podcast? Yeah, I think of you as the dumb listener that I need to explain things to. I don't know if there was any need for that.

Dave, but there you go. His true colours come out for everyone to see. I'm just thinking about if I was listening to a baseball podcast, you always talk about like the hitting average and all that sort of stuff. it means absolutely nothing to me. So just in case, I'm just trying to do the reversal here. Yeah, and I always get confused about the scoring in cricket as well. So you're saying some numbers and I'm like, I mean, those are big numbers.

Right. Yeah, well, if I say numbers, they're normally noteworthily big. You're seen to have a pretty good test batting average in the 40s is sort of pretty good. 40 and above, there's sort of 40s about the par to be decent. into the 50s, you're brilliant. And he's hitting these bigger scores regularly. But he started in a time where Australia's doing it pretty tough against. And at this time, the two major powers in World Cricket are Australia and England.

It's got the oldest rivalry. And, yeah, at that point, Australia had no good compared to the English. But as he sort of set it into the team, they seem to improve. each test match in this series, his first series. They did a little bit better. And Australia finally broke through to win in the fifth and final test of the series, with Bradman Instrumental scoring 123 and 37 not out. This only added a slight tinge of respectability to the series, with England pulling down Australia's pants overall, four tests won, and they retain the ashes. It's fun to read these words that I wrote three weeks ago. I don't recall writing down the phrase

pulling down Australia's pants. But, you know, in these tougher times, I've had to look to earn money in a different way, and I've looked to poetry. So you might get a little bit of that. And from pulling down people's pants. Yes. Yes, I will do that for money.

DAC for cash is my website. Look it up. Here's a fun fact with information from Wikipedia. Until World War II, this kind of blew my, I think I vaguely knew this, but I think this might be interesting for you too. And maybe some of the listeners as well. Until World War II, all tests in Australia were timeless, unlike Dave's reference to Michael Clark. What does that mean? A timeless test match?

Well, Dave, I'm so glad you asked. A timeless test match is a match of test cricket played under no limitation of time, which means the match is played until one side wins or the match. is tied, with theoretically no possibility of a draw. The format means that it is not possible to play defensively for a draw when the allotted time runs out, and delays due to bad weather will not prevent the match ending with a positive result. Only two of these matches were drawn, both against England in 1882, when the matches had to be left unfinished owing to shipping schedules. There's no time limit, but there is a shipping schedule, I'm afraid, so we're going to have to call

it a day. Or is it like, sorry, we're going to, this cricket ground is becoming a dock tomorrow. We've got to get in. We've got some ships covered in. And they're coming in hot. Pitchers were left uncovered during matches. These days they'll cover the pitches to keep them protected from the elements. But back then, they left uncovered during the matches.

And in the Australian climate, the well-watered, prepared pitches would dry out and crack and crumble as the match progressed. Usually making batting more difficult by the fourth or fifth day. The longest test match in Australia was the fifth test between Australia and England in Melbourne in 1929, which lasted for eight playing days. Not eight days. There were also days off in between. It's like I love, it's just such a funny old school way to play sport that takes days. I mean, they still play it over five days. But over eight days, I think it was nine or ten days all together with including days off.

It's pretty fun. I've never heard that. I did not know that. And I am actually, you know, a bit of a cricket fan. I like watching it. And the tests, as you say, these days go for five days. And that does seem like a long, long time, especially when it's a best of five series.

There's 25 days all up. And it goes for about six weeks. But unlimited. That's crazy. Yeah. Isn't that funny? But I think, yeah. So although the format should guarantee a result,

it was ultimately abandoned, as it was impossible to predict with any certainty when a match would be finished, making scheduling and commercial aspects difficult. So that's why the timeless tests were brought to an end. People had shit to do, basically. Yeah, probably a good idea to end it. Yeah, it's so funny. But I love the idea.

I kind of wish they'd do that every once a decade. One Ashes test is timeless and they just play it out. Yeah, that'd be cool. I actually wish more things had time limits. Like social gatherings. Okay, I thought you were talking about this podcast right now. Oh, that would be nice, but I'm not that much of a dreamer. But I just mean, like, you know, we'll go out for brunch from 10 till 12.

Yeah. You know what I mean? And then everybody, fuck off. Well, I think that's why it's smart, if you can, to just go, I've got a heart out. I'm so sorry, I've got an appointment at 12. It's very important. And then when you do that with someone and they go, oh, no, it's been canceled, you'd be like, oh, you're enjoying yourself. Oh, you love me.

So Bradman had now arrived on the international stage. I'll let you know when I get to the part that I wrote this week. I'm still not there, yeah. So Bradman had arrived. But it wasn't until the return series in England the following year that he truly showed how great he was. A special send-off was organised at Beryl's Empire Theatre with the local community in attendance.

Bradman called the event the proudest evening of my life. Oh, that's nice. It's so fun, like this world-beating cricketer and he's just in this little country town hall getting sent off by a couple hundred people, so fucking cool. That's lovely. Despite Bradman already showing he was a special talent,

his critics suggested he wouldn't be able to replicate the form in England. Sure, you can score runs on your little Australian pitches, but come over here and try that on our proper English wickets and we'll see what you've really got, they probably said. They would have said it in an accent. Oh, no. Here we go. Good day.

No, that's not there. Good day. Good day. Sure, you can score runs on your little Australian pitches. Come over and try that all our proper English records and we'll see what you really thought. They probably said. Was that the queen when she was like six? Oh, that was just one of the people who sound like the queen.

Right. They all sound like the queen over there. All of them. They look up to her. She's very influential. They used to speak a different language before her. And she said, I've come up with someone. It's called the Queen's English.

Let's say what you think. And they're like, sorry, don't know what you're saying. But they said that in the language they used to speak. He headed to England as a 21-year-old. And according to the Bradman Trail, Bradman was an instant sensation in England, making a double century in the first match at Worcester. Worcester?

Yes, Worcester, which set the scene for his record. It's written Worcester. But I think it's Worcester. Yeah. Look forward to the first. the tweets. Like Worcestershire sauce. It's written like Warchester Shire. Yes. Have you seen that video of an old Italian man trying to say Worcestershire? No, but I want to. It's so funny. Wuchester shiree. Doesn't make sense. He has a convulsion. He has Trump. I get it. I mean,

did you just see Maitre once? I think it was very similar. And I am one-eight Swiss-Ital Italian, so it makes sense. I have fond memories of some of my dad's golfing buddies coming around for lunch one day, two of them English, one of them, an very old Australian man at the time. Is he still a lot? I think he is. So he's incredibly old now. And he kept saying, it's Worcestershire. And they're going, it's Worcestershire. It's like, read the bottle. It says Warchester Shire. I'm with it. And I was about 14 having a great laugh in the corner. That's a fun argument. Your dad knows how to party What I love about him

He knows people who know how to party Yeah Yeah big time He's party adjacent Yes So he made his double century And the first match at Worcester Set the scene for his record breaking summer to follow

He scored no less than six double centuries 10 centuries and 15 half centuries The giant world record score of 334 Made during the third test at Headingley Proved beyond doubt That there was an exceptional test player throughout this success, his unwavering modesty and bright personality made him a favourite with the England people despite the flogging he was giving their bowlers.

Oh, was he ugly? Bright personality. That means he's ugly. You haven't seen pictures of him? He looks like he, you know. Bit of an ugly. Hey. He looks kind of like he could be related to me.

So, yeah. So. Yeah. But he's got a bright personality. Well, I mean, he became. And it goes on to say became a pin-up boy, and his successes were eagerly received back in Australia. So, you know, papered over those cracks, so to speak. I think that I mean literally he became a pin-up boy.

Glamour shots. At the end of the tour, he had amassed a total of 2,960 runs, which was more than twice the number of runs than Alan Kippax, the player who completed the second most number of innings. So, you know, he dominated. I mean, those runs, that world record score of 334 stood for a long time. And I think it stood until I was alive, so quite a long long time. So he scored nearly 3,000 runs in one series.

Well, no, it wasn't the one series. That was one tour. So they play matches against local teams and other things as well. So against county teams and different bits and pieces of all together. Yeah. I was going to say, because these days, if you get 10,000 in your career, you're in the history book. So that's crazy. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

I forget you're a cricket man, Dave. I've been watching it, the English cricket summer lately. We should talk. Let's talk. You all people call my people about cricket. We'll do it later. We won't talk about cricket now. We'll talk about the Don.

He's above cricket. Yeah, so those stats did include tour matches. But for the five-matched test series, Bradman scored 974 in only seven innings, a record that still stands today. What? It is insane. So we're saying before, 100 is a great score in an innings.

He scored 974 and 7 innings. So pretty bloody good. Wow. During the series, a song called Our Don Bradman was released back in Australia. How fun is this? It was written by Jack O'Hagan and was recorded with a vocal by Art Leonard. Here are some of the lyrics. Who is it that all Australia raves about?

Who is one our very highest praise? Now it isn't Amy Johnson or Little Mickey Mouse. No, it's just a country lad who's bringing down the house. Andy's chorus, our Don Bradman. Now I ask you, is he any good? Our Don Bradman. I mean, check that before you write the song, right? Why is he asking questions like that mid-song?

Why am I writing a song about this bloke? Is he any good? Is he any good? for when he goes into bat, he knocks every record flat, for there isn't anything he cannot do. Our Don Bradman, every Ozzy dips his lid to you. Oh, I love dip your lid. I love it so much. And it was a hit.

Apparently the sheet music sold 40,000 copies within a few days. Far out. He was climbing up the sheet music charts. 40,000 copies of the sheet music. What is that even? What a different time. It's fantastic. It's so they could play it at home.

Yeah, I guess maybe it was pre-grammaphones. It wasn't. But at the time, they weren't sure what was going to be the biggest mode of music. Was it going to be people playing the music on a record? Or was it going to be, you know, the instructions to do it yourself? DIY music. Pretty fun. So that's 40,000 copies in a few.

few days. At that time, Australia's population was six and a half million. So that's, Dave, you could do the sums, but that's like... I think that's two for every person. Two for every person. That's amazing. I think that's about right. Yeah. That is amazing. That's that's also too many copies, to be honest. Yeah. One is enough. What are you going to do with the other one? Oh, frame it. Yeah. Yeah, okay. One to frame one to use. Yeah, that makes sense. One's dog-eared and the other one's pristine. It'll be a collector's item. I reckon it probably probably would be. Yeah.

They didn't use to keep things back then, do they? Real disposable society back in the 30s. The same year, a song Bradman himself wrote, so I mentioned before how he played a lot of piano. That same year, a song he wrote himself was released, titled, Every Day is a Rainbow Day for me. Oh, no. It was recorded.

It was just like Shaquille O'Neal rapping. Oh, no. Oh, no. It was recorded. Every day is a rainbow day for me. I mean, and we all know it well. We all know.

What's a rainbow day? Well, it's a term that it's caught on since that day, and we all say it. It's our national anthem. Have a rainbow day. I never knew where our national anthem came from, but there it is. It should be. I mean, I don't love our national anthem. It's a bit sort of slow and plodding.

But I reckon every day as a rainbow day for me would be a banger. I reckon it's the girl I want to get you going. Oh, Don, Bradman. It's my head from your version. I assume that's how it goes. Is he any good? But is he any good? But he's lying on wood.

That's fantastic stuff. So every day is a rainbow day for me. It was recorded by Columbia Studios in 1930. It's starting to sound like, I mean, apparently it was pretty good at piano, but it does also have the vibe of someone being very good at something and then just being surrounded by Yes, man. I want to release the song. Well, yeah, you should.

You should, Don Bradman. I reckon, every day's a rainbow day for me. Sounds like a hit. I don't think it was a hit. It was recorded by Columbia Studios in 1930 and commercially released. Not heaps. Seems to be known about it, but apparently he was a pretty handy pianist.

Pianist. Peanist. According to the Bradman Foundation, upon his return to Australia, he was subjected to an almost frenzied series of public engagements that took him away from his shipboard teammates steaming around the coast. People were proposing to him in the streets. Wow.

Yeah. I mentioned it a bit later on, but some of his teammates I think maybe don't love all the attention that gets heaped on him. And he's also meant to be he's not the most social sort of, he's a bit of an aloof guy, keeps himself a bit. So some of his teammates didn't think he was the best guy. some people have sort of said maybe it was a bit of an asshole. I like to think he was just misunderstood.

But imagine that you're getting shipped around as a team and your star player gets off, goes, hangs out with adoring fans for a while you're waiting on the ship. Then he comes back, you go to the next spot so he can go do that again. Imagine you wouldn't start to probably feel some animal. It's like they're like the support band for him. That's what touring with you guys feels like, that to be honest. I'm like, all right, I'll pack up here. You take photos with your adoring fans.

That's funny because it's the opposite of what happened. Very good joke, Jess. So then he, finally on the 4th of November 1930, he arrived back in barrel to be reunited with his parents and family and attended a civic reception in the town's Corbett Gardens. He was escorted to the dice with strains of the tune, Our Don Bradman filling the air. How does that one go again? Oh, Don Bradman. Tell us, is he any good?

I love I used to sing in the 30s or whenever. How Don Bratman. Generally, I really went sick stuff. That's real cool stuff. So, oh, here we go. Here's a bit of extra information. This recently released Fox Trot song was a huge hit of the day

and was eagerly sung by thousands of Australians celebrating the triumph of the young man over England's finest test players. Foxtrot. What kind of music is a fox trot? Yep. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, do, do, do.

That's not fox trot. No. Charleston, Fox Trot. It's all the same. I mean, I did start the episode by saying we are forming a dance trip and we do not know any dances. I know the chacha.

Oh, we all know the ch ch ch'a. No, no, I know Joni loves chachi. What's a ch'in'? Jess just pulled up a photo of Don and, yeah, also did the fanning the face sign, meaning stone cold stunner. Yeah. In that photo. In others, yeah, bet that one.

He grows into looking like everyone's granddad. Maybe not everyone's granddad. My granddad. Is everyone's granddad look like my granddad? You know, when you fall for the trap of assuming your experience is universal, yeah, everyone's granddad. Brian, O'Connor, yeah? Mine's called Eddie.

Oh, that's weird. Yeah. Still O'Connor. Oh, okay, sure. My Brian was called Jim. What's your pride's name? Send us a message. Bradman continued scoring centuries

when the West Indies and South African teams to it, averaging over 200 against South Africa. In these two series, Australia won nine of the ten matches. They're on fire. It's about 90%. Don had him absolutely flying. Averaging 200 in a series is wild as well. South African fast bowler Sandy Bell said,

bowling to Bradman was, quote, heartbreaking. Going on to say, with his sort of cynical grin, which rather reminds one of the sphinx, he never seems to perspire. Is he man or is he robot? Heartbreaking. You can't sweat like Prince Andrew.

Yeah. Shot out during the Falklands. I don't sweat. Despite dominating at test level, his most devastating performance that season perhaps came in a club match. I'll read the story as recounted by Martin Williamson for ESPN cricket.

All right, we're into the stuff I wrote this week. All right, I was about to ask, but good. We've caught up. On Monday, November 2nd, 1931, Bradman and New South Wales teammate Wendell Bill travelled into the Blue Mountains about 60 miles from Sydney to play in a match to open a new pitch at Blackheath. The two stars named were included in the Blackheath 11 against neighbouring Lithgow. So he's a dominating player at this point now.

He's going to play this little country game, which is a bit of fun. And he's brought a. a teammate along. Two international players are now playing for a... You'd be pissed off if you started bowling to them. A little bit, but also they brought in a huge crowd, raising money for the teams. And, like, they were doing them a huge favour. Right.

So it's a bit of an honour, I guess. Yeah. Bradman was soon in full flow, taking 30 off, 38 off the first ovary face. Back then it was eight ball overs. I was going to say otherwise, how is that possible? Yeah, these days it's only six ball overs. You can only really hit six max. them.

36, although, you know, if there's no balls or whatever, but still, yeah, 38 off an eight ball over is still pretty handy. I didn't understand any of that, but I think he's good. So, this is for the listeners. Yes, the listeners. Fill them in. So an over is, it used to be eight balls, apparently, but these says it's six. One bowler will bowl from one end of the wicket at six deliveries.

And then they'll switch, and another bowler will bowl from the other end, six. and they'll switch end to end. So the ground sort of switches. That didn't not make it any clear, he did it? No, I think it did. So with a large crowd gathered, Bradman was soon in full flow. After the 38 he took, he quickly got up to 100. And then a bowler named Bill Black was brought on.

Bradman casually asked wicketkeeper Leo Waters, what to expect. Waters replied, don't you remember this bloke? He bowled you in an exhibition match in Lithgow a few weeks. ago and has been boasting about it ever since at your expense. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. They've just told Michael Jordan he can't do something. It really made me think of Michael Jordan and the last dance ducco. I think this ball is about to die.

Well, do you reckon I could hit him? Let's stop him ringing that bell. What are you talking about? It's a callback from my childhood. It's a call back to a. unconfirmed event for my child. A delightful tale, mind you. So apparently Black had bowled Bradman for 52 in an upcountry match, a feat that caused the supposedly impartial local umpire to yell, Bill, you've got him.

Bill, my son. I just think of an op-prior yelling that out. Oh, shit, you got him. The ball was mounted. So the ball that he bowled Bradman with was mounted and Black had been dining out on the moment ever since. Get out of town. He's fucked right now.

So Bradman ambled down the pitch to chat with Wendell Bill and reportedly said, I think I'll have a go. What followed was brutal. In three eight ballovers, he scored exactly a hundred runs. Three overs with Wendell Bill. So normally it'd be,

it's great to score a ton in a day. He's done it. in what they estimate to be about 18 minutes. It is... Fuck, now. I'm like, what? I had to find this on multiple sources before I even believed it. The first over from Black went for 33 runs.

The second from the Blameless Horrie, the article says. The Blameless Horrie Baker was for 40. And the third, again, from Black, for 29. But that did include two singles that Wendell Bill had to just hit to get Bradman back on strike. So there's a couple of basically waste balls in that. Otherwise it would have been even more. Apparently, after the 100 came up in those three overs, a bewildered baker demanded to be taken off.

He's like, I'm not bowling another over. Please don't make me bowling another over. While Bradman was eventually dismissed for 256, including 14-6s and 29-4s, Wendell Bill made 68. It's important, I think, to emphasise that the thing was not planned, and Bradman said years later, it happened purely by accident and everyone was surprised at the outcome.

No one more than I. Wendell Bill became one of my stonious friends and in later years, he said he got more notoriety out of the two singles he scored in those three overs than anything else he ever did in his life. After the match, Bradman presented the bat he used to the Blackheath mayor,

who had it mounted on a wall in the council offices. It was said he asked people to swear on it when an honest response was needed. Like it was a Bible. Swear on the Bible. Swear on Bradman's bat. That is now on. And they're like, I couldn't.

I can't. I can't lie to the bat. And if you wanted to see that bat, you can still see it. It's at the Bradman Museum in barrel. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. On the 30th of April 1932, Bradman married his childhood sweetheart,

Jesse Menzies at St. Paul's Church in Burwood, Sydney. They honeymooned in Melbourne before heading to North America in what Bradman described. as an extended honeymoon. It was also a cricket tour. In North America. So it was a private tour, which was organized by former test cricketer Arthur Maley, and was in part to try and boost the reputation of cricket in the US and Canada.

And obviously it was very successful. It's now the national sport in Canada and America. The newlyweds arrived in Vancouver, Canada on the 16th of June. And according to a biography by Michael Page for the State Library of South Australia, in 75 days, the Australians traveled almost 10,000 kilometers across Canada and the USA. They played 51 matches, including one in Hollywood, against a team that included actor Boris Carle. Does that name mean anything to you? Yeah, he played like the mummy.

Yes. And he played Frankenstein. That famous picture of Frankenstein from the 1931 film, Frankenstein, he played Frankenstein's monster. And also in the fall-ups, bride of Frankenstein and son of Frankenstein. So Bradman played against Frankenstein. It's kind of fun. The other thing I think he's maybe most famous for was that he narrated and voiced the titular character

in Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. That famous TV special. I think it's played in like Home Alone and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep. Because I was thinking that was Jim Carrey. That shows our age difference, doesn't it? I think of the 1960s version of it. Matt, that's Mike Myers and his name is Shrek.

So get it right. You look really stupid right now. Damn it. While in New York, Bradman attended a baseball game between the Yankees and the White Sox as the guest of none other than legendary baseball of Babe Ruth. So he's kind of the Tom Bradman of baseball and vice versa, I guess. You too would have heard of Babe Ruth? I've always known him as just like the baseball legend. Yeah, I just knew him as a lefty, a famous leftist.

But that did help give it some context when I read that he was like the, he was baseball's Don Bradman. So that analogy was actually used recently, last year actually, when US President Donald Trump was doing a press conference with Australian Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, with Australian billionaire Anthony Pratt. When Pratt told Trump, the PM is the Don Bradman of Australian job creation. Trump looked confused before Pratt quickly followed up saying, Don Bradman was our babe Ruth.

And Trump replied, oh, wow. And then Morrison added, in cricket. It is one of the greatest bits of foreign diplomacy that I've ever witnessed. Wow. It's so cringy. It's so much fun. I mean, that phrase, I think we all think of Prime Minister Scott Morrison as the Don Bradman of Australian Job Creation.

I mean, yeah, obviously. That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Bradman and Babe apparently chatted. They got on quite well. So I don't know, did I mention that they, yeah, so they were watching it in Babe Ruth's box. I think Ruth was injured at the time. But they got on well.

Ruth was a big guy. I didn't know this. He stood at over six foot tall. It was around 100 kilos. And he was expecting Bradman to be a second. similar size. Everyone's saying this guy, he smashes it around just like you. And so this is what he apparently said to Bradman, he said, from what they were telling me, I thought you were a husky and strong guy. Bradman replied, but us little fellows can hit them

harder than the big ones. When Ruth was asked by reporters what he thought about cricket, he said, they tell me $40 a week is top paying cricket. I'll stick with baseball. All about the cash with babe. Was that, yeah, was that the question? Was that the question? I'm sorry, did I just ask you, what do you think about the pay discrepancies between the two sports?

What do you think? No, they didn't ask that. It was a polite chit-chat question. So it attracted a lot of press. There was a lot of press there. The next day, the New York Times described Bradman as, quote, the wild man of cricket. Yes.

And also the ring-tailed wallaby of the cricket crease. Okay. Okay, so the ring-tailed wallaby, That's kind of like our Babe Ruth of the animal world. Yes. That's catchy, though, I don't think. The ring-tailed wallaby of the cricket crease, the Wild Man of the Wicked. Have they combined a couple of animals there?

Yeah, I'm doing ring-tailed possum. Possum. And then just wallaby. But our possums are different to their possums. Yeah, they're old possum. So I understand you don't say ring-tailed possum because then they'd be like, what do you mean? We've got different possums. Our possums are cute.

Some of them are, the little ones are ringtails are shit, yeah. Oh my God. It does sound like they are just making up animals, like the sugar gliding, a kidnap of the wicket. Yeah. Especially if America doesn't understand cricket, I mean, it just sounds baffling.

You're just combining two things I haven't heard of, a ring-tailed wallaby and a cricket crease. Oh, now we get it. Oh, he's the ring-tailed wallaby of the cricket crease. Sure, why don't you say so? Obviously. And who is he in terms of Babe Ruth? On the American tour, Bradman played in every match

amassed 3,779 runs at an average of 102.1. Who's just going around, smacking it up? Bradman's dominance of the poems in 1930, so we talked about a little while ago where he had that record 334 and whatnot, led to the English devising a new tactic for the 1932-33 Australian tour, what would become known as the infamous Bodyline series.

According to the National Museum of Australia, the 1932-33-33-Ahes series is the most controversial in the history of Australian English test cricket. The English team, desperate to contain Australian batsman Don Bradman and win back the Ashes, adopted a controversial strategy, technically known as fast leg theory, it was better known as body line. In preparing for their 1932 tour of Australia, England sought a way to stifle Bradman's scoring. Their captain Douglas Jardine developed an approach in which the ball was bowled fast and short, rising up to the batman's body while fielders hovered close to the leg's side.

The strategy was intended to intimidate the batsman, stifled the swing of his bat, and force him to play defensively. But it also posed a genuine physical threat. The relationship between Jardine and Australian cricket fans was already tense. During the 1928-29 tour to Australia, he was perceived as supercilious and rude. His air of upper-class superiority rankled with the Australian crowds. back in the 1930s beyond pads and gloves batsmen wore very little protection no helmet no thigh pad no arm pad no chest guards um so you you'd be pretty familiar with the body line series dave

at least of the idea of it yeah yeah it was pretty dangerous right for the the batters yeah so it was very bloody a lot of players were going off injured and just um it was a battle of attrition sort of thing. And this is the two, Jess, you know, on the Paul Kelly song where he quotes an Australian cricketer in the rooms after the game. And he says, two teams are out there today, but only one of them is playing cricket. That was about this series. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically saying, this is unsportsman-like, it's not real cricket. Bradman missed the first test due to illness, which England won. He returned for the second test and scored a century leading Australia to victory and leveling the series at one all. Going to the third test in Adelaide, Jardine decided to bring in the body line tactics, especially deploying his fast bowler, Harold Larwood, to ignore the stumps and instead bowl fast and short at the body.

Maybe people who don't know cricket, might not know, the cricket balls are very hard. Oh, yeah. Hard as a rock and they bowl fast bowl fast bowl very fast. Yep. What is it? I don't know what the fast bowlers were bowling back then, but these days, like, 140k plus is pretty fast. 150 is super fast.

I like how I'm trying to explain to Americans and I'm using kilometres per hour. 100 mile an hour or plus, I think, is real fast. Yeah. That would be real fast in anyone's language, right? Even American. The rest of the world understands cricket. This is only Americans we're talking to.

Well, if only they'd called on or we tried to teach him about it. I mean, we sent Don. What are we got to do? Send Michael Clark? Because that's our last adult, we'll do it. Clarkie. That will date the lessons. What do you want? That's right. It's amazing that still to this day,

cricket is still only get paid 40 bucks a week. That's how Michael Clark got around in his Lamborghini, paying that 40 bucks a week. So anyway, yeah, so this was when they brought in the brutal body line. According to NMA, the already hostile crowd was furious. And when one delivery struck Australian Captain Bill Woodfull, just above the heart, it was feared a riot would start. Temperes flared on the field and in the stands.

And while Woodfield maintained a diplomatic stance in public, in private, he too was furious. Oof. According to the State Library of New South Wales, as well as Bill Woodful being struck down, the team wicket-keeper Bert Oldfield suffered a fractured skull. Oh, shit. According to the Bradman Foundation, at the end of the day's play, the England manager, Sir Pelham Plum Warner, visited the Australian dressing room

to commiserate with the injured. The Australian captain, the Australian captain Bill Woodful, is reputed to have received him icily with the words, I don't want to see you, Mr Warner. There are two teams out there. One is trying to play cricket, the other is not.

I like how Paul Kelly put it better, but... Well, I mean, he's a poet. People's poet. That's why I get to pay the big bucks. The State Library did note that the, quote, new tactic even split the English side. The fast bowler George Gubby Allen refused to bowl body line despite the urgings of his captain, Douglas Jardine.

Gubby Alan described Jardine as a perfect swine in a letter to his parents, Sir Walter and Lady Alan. Perfect swine. He's the perfect swine. Such a fancy pig. That's good a compliment. Yeah, the perfect piggy. So that seems pretty noble of Alan, you know, to be going, I'm not going to play those

dirty tactics, even if my captain's asking me to. So you won't be surprised a man showing such heart and ethics. You won't be surprised to hear that he was Australian born and moved to England at the age of seven for school. Ah, that makes sense. I felt that. I felt it. Australians wouldn't change.

Australians don't do dodgy stuff. Certainly not on the cricket field. No. I mean, there's a couple of... sandpapery issues and, you know, pretty full-on sledging, but... Well, that was just a misunderstanding. See, the boys had just come from the job site as sanders, and they just happened to have a little bit of the sandpaper left over in their pockets.

They couldn't get a job as a poet, so they had to take the next best thing, sanding. Now they get paid 40 bucks a week. The NMA continues. A key aspect of Australian frustration was that the English tactics seemed to go against all that was valued in cricket, fair play, ethical conduct, and a shared cultural understanding of behaviour. In response to the danger faced by the players, the Australian Board of Control for International Cricket sent a tersely worded telegram to the MCC on the 18th of January 1933. This is what it said. Bodyline bowling has assumed such proportions as to menace the best interests of the game,

making protection of the body by the batsmen the main consideration. This is causing, in intensely bitter feeling between the players as well as injury. In our opinion, it is unsportsmanlike. Unless stopped at once, it is likely to upset the friendly relations existing between Australia and England. Pretty strong words in those old-timey ways. Amos, they're saying that relations as cricket teams or as nations? I think they're talking bigger than that. Yeah, nations. The English administrators did not appreciate their players being accused of unsportsman-like behaviour. Not having witnessed the barrage of body blows,

because they weren't out here in Australia for it. This is all telegram back to England, back and forth. They felt that the Australian side was making excuses. The MCC responded sternly on the 23rd of January. Quote, we Marlebone Cricket Club, deplore your cable. We deprecate your opinion that there has been unsportsmanlike play. We hope the situation is not now as serious as your cable would seem to indicate.

But if it is such as to jeopardise the good relationship between English and Australian cricketers, and you consider it desirable to cancel remainder of program, we would consent, but with great reluctance. It's so sassy. We'll let you, if you need to, you need to quit. Sean, go ahead. That's fine. Hey, hey, that's all right. If you want to be a little bitch, you want to be a little sooky bitch and quit.

Oh, fractured skull. It's okay. Oh, ma. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Did your head hurt? Oh, I sorry. Did I spin your head in two?

Oh, sorry. Did I hit you just above the heart? Oh, I sorry. After intervention from the Australian Prime Minister, Joseph Lyons, the Australian Board of Control withdrew its charge of unsportsmanlike behaviour, and the final tests were played. England won the series 4-1 and reclaimed the ashes. So the Australian Prime Minister, England had to get involved.

The politics did get involved, and the Prime Minister had to tell the Australian Cricket Board to back off, basically. Weird. What a weird page in history. Very weird. And for any international listeners, the Australian Prime Minister is like the Don Bradman of job creation. If that clears that up for you. That makes sense now.

Oh, sorry. He's Australia's base. Isn't there something so undignified about a billionaire sucking up to political leaders like that? Yeah, it's disgusting. He's actually... He's like, honestly, he's like so good at job creation, hey. Okay. Mate, you're a billionaire.

Come on. Yeah, maybe you could create a fucking job. How do you think you became a billionaire, though? Yeah, I think being good to the working man, no doubt about that. And woman. And children. Yeah, almost definitely children. The working children.

We slowly morphed into a commie podcast. Um, slowly. Anyway, that's what I tell my butler. The impact of England's bodyline tactics extended beyond the cricket pitch. Struggling with ongoing hardship during the Depression, Australians saw the aggressive tactics of the English team as representative of England's wider attitude to the country. So it was seen as a bigger thing. It was representing England basically looking down their noses at us in the colonies sort of thing.

Bradman finished the series with an average of only 56. A disappointing number for the Don. To put this into context, though, this is still a higher number than the career batting average of legendary cricketers like India's Session Tanduca, the West Indies, Brian Lara and South Africa's Jacques Callas. He got that ton away before they brought in the body line tactics, so admittedly. The Bradman Foundation concludes that there was never a formal acknowledgement from the England authorities that bodyline bowling was unsportsmanlike, but subsequent actions,

indicated a recognized culpability. Douglas Jardine would never again captain England against Australia, while Harold Laugh would never play test cricket again, despite topping the English first-class bowling averages in 1937. Another legacy of the tactic was a change in the cricket rules. Bodyline was banned and a new law was introduced to prevent no more than two fieldsmen gathering between square leg and the wicketkeeper. If we really want to baffle non-cricot listeners,

We should start talking fielding positions. Silly mid-off. Silly mid-off is a classic cow's corner. Is that one? Gully. Fine leg. That's something I think of myself as having in the way that it is very thin. These are very perplexing positions.

There's also one called Big Dick. Yeah, Big Dick. That's where I always fielded ironically. Consequently, the 1934 Australian Tour to England featured no bodyline bowling and relations between the two teams quickly healed. On that tour, Bradman was battling health issues with muscle spasms, a back problem and suffering from periodic abdominal pains. Despite this, he still managed to score an innings of 304 and one of 244 in the final test to help Australia regain the ashes. The severe abdominal pains turned

out to be an infected appendix. He was operated on and the following day got peritonitis. Apparently he was so close to death that his wife immediately set off to England on the four week ship journey. Doesn't that be shattering? Oh, your husband's about to die. All right, I'll rush over. Just see you in four weeks. Fuck. Weeks into her journey, she finally got the news that he'd pulled through though. Once she arrived, they headed to France for Christmas. That's nice.

Oh, that's nice. By now the Bradmans had relocated from Sydney to Adelaide, and he'd started working for a stockbroker named Harry Hodgett. A bit of fun. He moved from Sydney to Adelaide. And he has a day job? Yes. I mean, they only got paid 40 bucks a week, didn't they?

He's the best in the fucking world. He's the day rude. And he moves to Adelaide. And has a job. To be a, he was working for a stockbroker. Is that right? I think he moved to Adelaide in part. I feel like it was maybe to get away from,

like he didn't love the celebrity stuff as much. So maybe he wanted to go to a slightly smaller city. He was a country boy. Yeah, a city where fuck all happens. I love Adelaide. I think Adelaide's nice. Adelaide doesn't like me now. But I don't care.

Fuck you, Adelaide. Yeah, I don't know 100%. But I know that he considered actually playing in England professionally cricket and making, I think he would get paid 500 pounds a season over there. And he strongly considered that, even though that would mean he wouldn't be allowed

to play test cricket anymore because of old school rules. But then a few businesses in Australia came together and said, hey, we'll set you up with some jobs and we'll look after. We'll get you some writing work and different bits and pieces

to help get you a better living wage or even, you know, like maybe getting paid what you're worth almost. But anyway, yeah, he chose to move to Adelaide, get in a stockbroking. Things are going pretty smoothly off the field. What an anti-climax.

I'm going to move to Adelaide, work for a stockbroker. I'm the best in the world at something. Yeah, like it's still peaking as well. And I live in Adelaide. It's like that time... Am I going too hard at Adelaide? You let me know. Like that time Ben Folds lived in Adelaide for a while.

He was the best at the world in sort of... Somba piano pop rock, keyboards. And he... He was the best in the world and arguably still is at Ben Fold's music. He's top five. I'd say he's in my Benfold's five. Yeah, right. So things are going pretty smoothly off the field,

but things could be a little bit icy on it and in the change rooms. Some of his Australian teammates through his career are said to have not loved playing with him. This has been explained in different ways. Some say other players didn't like living in his shadow. Others say he was very aloof and didn't socialize much with his teammates. Someone had an example of when he hit his big 334. in England, an Aussie businessman over there wrote him a check for a thousand pounds and said, well, I'll make her have some fun or whatever.

And he didn't share it with his teammates. And someone said that was one of the reasons of it. That sort of was an example of why he wasn't that good to his teammates, which I found interesting. What they do? What'd they do for the thousand pounds? Well, I guess he needs someone batting at the other end. If someone gives me a check for a thousand pounds, am I supposed to share it with you? According to some.

I wouldn't think so. Okay, well, no, because it's my thousand pounds. Depends on what you did it for. If someone said, geez, you were so good on that podcast. Here's a thousand pounds. I'm like, well, she was and she deserved every penny. I hope she buys herself something very nice. Because I love her when she's happy.

I love to see her happy. I'm happy when she's happy. An example of the unease between Bradd and his teammates occurred after he stayed home from the 1935-36 tour of South Africa. The Bradmanless side had a successful tour of South Africa, and senior players like Bill O'Reilly made not so subtle comments about how they love playing under the captaincy of Vic Richardson, as opposed to Bradman. According to Wiki, a click of players who were openly hostile towards Bradman formed during the tour.

For some, the prospect of playing under Bradman was daunting, as was the knowledge that he would be sitting in judgment of their abilities in his role as a selector. So at this stage he was both the star player, but he was also a team selector. To start the new season, the test side played a rest of Australia team, captain by Bradman. So this is the Australian team playing best of the rest, which unfortunately for them included Bradman because he wasn't in the team at the time. And Bradman captained the best of the rest team. It was played in Sydney in October 1936. the Test 11 suffered a big defeat due to Bradman's 212 and a bag of 12 wickets by leg spinner Frank Ward.

Rather undiplomatically, Bradman let the members of the test team know that despite their recent success, they were not quite as good as they believe themselves to be. So, you know, it maybe wasn't, yeah, it's interesting. Because a lot of the quotes he does are so polite and sportsman-like, but then you hear little things like that and you go, oh, he was, and I also, I also think that is there something in it where to be absolutely dominant, you have to be a bit of an asshole? I don't know if that's true, but it feels maybe like it is.

Absolutely, yes. There has to be like that killer instinct in you. I think you would find that most elite sports people have an element of asshole in them. Yeah, right. Especially individual sports, like tennis and stuff like that. I'm sure, like they're nice people, but they've got to have just that little bit of asshole. Yeah, you've got to be somewhat selfish, right? Yeah, for sure.

Like within that context of your sport, sure. But yeah, it's a bit of a shame if that is the case. But also like if it was just the fact that he didn't socialise that much with them, he was kind of aloof and maybe kept to himself. I mean, he obviously didn't like the celebrity or the touring or anything like that. So, I mean, why do you dislike him just because of his personality? Yeah, it didn't sound like people, like they'd have a win and he'd, he'd rather than go have a drink, he'd go back to his room and play music on his

gramophone or something. That sounds way better. Like that's more what I, that's what I do after shows. Yeah. Did he go back to his room, wheeled out the water tank, got the stamp and the golf ball and just hit it against there for about six hours? I think that sounds about right to me. So in this report, believe it or not,

I'd skip over a bunch of his on-field achievements. I figured it would get pretty tedious if I went through every century, maybe. He made a lot of them. But, you know, he was very good in most. games he played. Yep, I believe. Funnily enough, it wasn't just on the cricket field he dominated.

He played a bit of squash to keep fit, which is like racquetball, I guess. And in 1937, he won the South Australian Squash Championship. He just took it up to stay fit. He ended up being winning the state championship. Amazing. That's amazing. So he became the Don Braddman of Squash. In South Australia, yes.

Anyway, back to cricket on the 1938. tour of England, Bradman scored more centuries, helping the Aussies retain the ashes. There was a point where I was going to go through a free series, because there wasn't, there wasn't that many, and I'll go, and in the first test, he got this, but yeah, I thought that might have got a bit tedious. Off the field, Bradman wasn't too happy with the Australian board, though. This is from Michael Page's bio again. I found this kind of interesting.

What an old-school rule. It's almost like this was 80 years ago. Bradman called his team together to discuss a clause in their contracts that forbade their wives' children or other family members from being in England while the tour was in progress. They wouldn't have been allowed in the whole country. What? Bradman simply wanted the board to allow his wife to join him at the end of the tour. He's like, there's a rule that says she can't come over and be in the country and then meet me at the end of the tour.

Is there any chance we can break this rule? The board subsequently refused his request and he was. so angry that he drafted a letter of resignation from Australian cricket. But he was talked out of delivering it by the team Dr. Rowley Pope. All he would say publicly was that he was extremely disappointed. The board eventually relented under pressure from the other Australian players. No, that just seems so strange. That's so weird.

You'll be distracted even if she's six hours drive away. Why? What? Why? Why would I be? Yeah, or even just like in the same city. Just in a different hotel? Or why not even at the same hotel?

But when that two was over, yeah, why not in the same room? That sounds like someone from the board wanted to have an affair every time I went to England. No wives. No wives. We all grow on that. Boys only, boys trip. Plus my mistress. Yeah, only wives.

I said wives. I didn't say wives. No wives. Secret second families, yes. Of course. No legitimate children. Okay, we're going with that. We put legitimate in there in the contract.

When war broke out in 1939, this is something I didn't consider either. The Second World War happened right in the middle of when he was smashing it. When war broke out in 1939, the decision was made to keep cricket going in Australia for morale, and Bradman kept banging out tons. This is at state level. But according to Page, when France surrendered on the 25th of June, Bradman was among thousands of Australians who rushed to enlist. He joined the RAAF but was seconded to the army

where he was made a lieutenant and sent to Victoria to train as a physical training instructor bound for the Middle East. Wait, do we say lieutenant? We say lieutenant, don't you? He was made a lieutenant, written lieutenant, or written like something else. It's one of those words.

It certainly does not have left. There's no F in there. One of those dastardly words. I mean, even as lieutenant, it's funny a stretch. but lieutenant take a fucking walk all right I didn't know that they should use him like that tennis player we talked about they should just get get Don over there give him a bag of grenades and a cricket bat and he'll fuck some shit up

tell him that the Germans are about to ring the bell yeah I'll say they were they were just mocking you last week actually oh yeah Jerry over there was saying that he he bowled you out Is that true? He's been dining out on it. He's been telling everyone. That guy over there, driving that tank. He'd already had one kid earlier in the war,

and on the 17th of April, 1941, his wife, Jesse, had a second child, Shirley June. Meanwhile, her husband's muscular spasms had spread to his right arm, which he could not raise above his shoulder. He was invalided out of the army and went with his family to Mitagong near Barrel to convales. The Bradman's returned to Adelaide in 1942,

and Bradman resumed worked at Harry Hodgitts, the stockbroker. He was playing a little golf but no cricket. On the 11th of May 1943, he was elected to the Adelaide Stock Exchange. You know that was a thing you could do, get elected to the stock exchange. But his job disappeared overnight when Hodgitts was declared bankrupt and faced criminal charges. I knew it. That's why you don't go to Adelaide. Your boss will be a crook.

I've heard it time and again. Someone says, oh, you wouldn't believe it. My boss is a crook. I said, you live in Adelaide, don't you? They said, how did you know? I said, because every fucking boss in Adelaide is a crook. So he set up his own stockbroking business, Don Bradman and co in Adelaide. What?

What? Don Bradman set up a fucking stockbroker in Adelaide. If it helps you understand, it was sort of like the Don Bradman of stockbroking businesses. Oh. Wow. Okay, that doesn't make sense, yeah. Is that what it said on the poster? By 1945, he had not handled a cricket bat for five years.

He just hadn't picked one up. Wow. And his muscular problem now affected both arms. Obviously not good for someone who wants to play cricket. While an Australian side toured New Zealand during the winter of 1946, he built up his health with the help of Melbourne masseur, earned Saunders. Bradman was ambivalent about playing cricket again,

but with his wife taking a greater role in the business, he accepted the Australian captaincy against England's 1946 touring team. I don't know if I want to play. All right, I'll be the Australian captain. And believe it or not, he kept smashing out runs. You don't say. The way his body was failing him, though, it was expected his retirement was imminent. But he forged on so that he could play in the first Australian test series against India.

In that series, as a 39-year-old, he made four big centuries. 39's very old for cricket, right, Dave. You nearly know. I don't remember any Australian cricketers in my lifetime playing that to that aid. No, it's really old, yeah. This set the stage for his final ever test series. The 1948 Ashes in England. That was cool.

Just by the by, I just sort of breezed over that. But Australia first played India there in the late 40s. It's kind of cool because they're one of the powerhouses of cricket now. It's interesting that we've only got like a 70-year history of playing them. So final ever test series, 1948, Ashes in England. England hadn't won the urn since the controversial bodyline series 15 years earlier, though the teams hadn't played since 1938 due to the breakout of the Second World War.

Since the resumption of test cricket after the war, the Australians were undefeated and started the series' strong favourites. Bradman was captain and he publicly stated his side had the lofty ambition of going through the whole tour without being defeated. I love that sort of the public setting ever. expectations as impossibly high. Yeah, love that. Anyway, this is what they did.

They were unbeaten through all of their tour matches and the five test series, beating England 4-0 with the third test ending in a draw due to rain delays. Bradman walked out for his final test innings at 5.50pm on Saturday, August 14, 1948 at the Oval Cricket Ground in London. There were 40 minutes of play left in the day. The following is from an article written. by Dan Colise-Simone of the ABC earlier this year. And it sums it up pretty good.

So a lot of people listening might not know anything about Bradman, and if they don't know about this. But this is one of his most famous innings for all the wrong reasons. Don came into bat facing Eric Hollies. The leg spin bowler, says legendary Australian all-rounder Neil Harvey. At 19, he was 20 years younger than his hero, playing in just his second test. He sat in the pavilion waiting to bat, watching it unfold.

The reception he got when he went out to bat at the Oval from the England team and the public, because the ground was packed, absolutely packed. The English players all got around him when he came into bat, all took their caps off and gave him his three cheers. And you can't tell me that that doesn't affect somebody, and I don't think Don would be immune from that. I mean, we heard earlier that he was pretty much immune from that, but Neil Harvey suggested maybe he wasn't.

maybe that might have got to him. The emotion of it all. The English players were gracious, but not about to go easy on the figure who had menaced them for four tours and two decades. We'll give him three cheers when he gets on the square, but that's all we'll give him. Then bowl him out,

England Captain Norman Yardley told his team. The English people loved him, and he loved them back, says Harvey. He really wasn't expected to go on the tour, but he felt he owed it to the English public. He had health problems, fibrosiscycyphysic. and such. He didn't want the English people to be let down. And because they'd been suffering so

much during the war, he felt compelled to go. That's the reason he went. So it's something I didn't really realize. I didn't realize this happened when he was so old. And also that his body was failing him by this point as well. And it's interesting, he was like, felt a duty to the English supporters. They supported him so well that he wanted to give them one last tour. That's nice. The English adored him right till the finish. 39 years of age. He went to England in 1940. and captain this great Invincibles team, and he still made two centuries. That's not too bad for 39, is it? This would be Bradman's final knock.

That was almost assured when he strode out for the fifth test of the Ashes series, with Australia on one for 117 and looking to complete an unbeaten tour. England had been dismissed for 52, the whole team, in its first innings, meaning the Australians would not have to bat again. He walked to the wicket in front of a crowd of 20,000, having scored 6,996 10.000. best runs and lost his wicket 69 times. So at that point, his average, yes, a nice amount of times. So his average at that point was over 100. It was 101.39. If he was able to be dismissed for a 70th time, he needed just four more runs to reach 7,000 and end his career with an average

of 100. But nobody knew that. In those days, statistics were nothing, Harvey says. Nobody had a clue. The press didn't know. There was no television, of course. And if the press didn't know, nobody's going to know. So that's how it was. We just played the game as a normal session. That's interesting. I assumed everyone was like, he needs at least four runs to get 100.

Yeah, because these days you'd be counting down going, oh, three to go, two to go. He only needs one here. Yeah, there'd be a graphic that already have like memorabilia for sale. Yeah. 100 plus average. In the BBC radio coverage, Rex Alston handed over to his junior commentator, John Arlett, as Bradman walked out to bat. And he's great.

I really like his commentary, so I'm going to read some of that here. The crowd settles down again. They've got 40 minutes left to play, and Bradman is now taking guard. Holley's is going to bowl, and John Arlott shall describe the first bowl. So come in, John. I love cricket radio. They really accept everything that's going on. And here's what commentator John Arlitt said,

from there. He bowls. Bradman goes back across his wicket, pushes the ball gently in the direction of the houses of Parliament, which are out beyond mid-off. It doesn't go as far as that. Merely goes to Watkins at silly mid-off. No run. Still 117 for one. That is funny cricket comedy. I mean, you guys are laughing, but that's good stuff. That is almost the same as when a principal skinner punishes Bart by taking him out with a telescope to look at stars and he's like 98 degrees north, 30 degrees south, 4.36 a.m. Left no siding.

Left dimension? Yeah, I can't remember what the language was, but yeah, that was funny. That's also, that is no run. The ball goes in the direction of the houses of parliament, which are out beyond mid-off. It doesn't go as far as that. It merely goes to Watkins. I mean, Watkins is the perfect player name as well

for an English cricket team in the 1940s. Anyway, it goes on, two slips, a silly mid off and a forward short leg close to him as Hollies pitches the ball up slowly, and he's bold. Bradman, bold, Hollies, Nort. And what do you say under these circumstances? I wonder if you see the ball very clearly

in your last test in England, on a ground where you've played some of the biggest cricket of your life and where the opposing side has just stood around you and given you three cheers and the crowd has clapped you all the way to the wicket. I wonder if you see the ball at all. He's sort of giving him excuses, I guess.

Oh, the humanity. Two balls and the innings was over. So Don's career was done. Harvey says the complete silence around the ground also reached into the Australian dressing room. I'm sure that emotion was one of the main reasons why he didn't pick a wrong in from Hollies. Got an inside edge onto the sumps and that was it. I was patted up, ready to go in. And he walked in and sat down beside me and said, fancy doing a thing like that.

It's such a great understated thing. Apparently, others have said he, you know, he was disappointed. He wanted to, you know, go out with a big score and show the English. He appreciated them by beating them again. Colise Simone goes on in this ABC article saying, Hollies had no time for sentimentality. Best fucking ball of bold all season. And they're clapping him, he said to his teammates.

The story of how that ball came to be bowled is pretty great as well. He played in a tour match a few months earlier. The two played against it, and he bowled to him, and he realized that Bradman, he's like, I don't think he's picking up my wrong-in. And a wrong-in for the leg spinner is the one that basically spins the other way, well, instead of spinning out to the right-hand or spins into the wicket. Right. And he's like, I don't think he's picking it.

So in the second innings of that match, he didn't bowl any wrongings to him going, in case I play him in a test match, I won't give him any siders now. I'll save it for the test match. And that's when he bowled it. So in his mind, the plan just all came together. That bowler also had to be talked into playing that game. He was going to play for his county cricket side. He's like, it's a dead rubber.

They've already beaten us. They've already won the series. It doesn't mean anything. I don't want to play. and he got talked into it. And then was the guy who broke Bradman's heart in the last innings. Wow. Bradman's batting partner, Arthur Morris,

watched the historic moment from the other end of the pitch, 22 yards away. His contribution would also be at shone by Bradman's famous failure. He would tell the story in the decades to come. I often say to people, yes, I was there. I'm asked, were you playing? I reply, yes, I got 196. Oh, you were there, were you?

Oh, yeah. Well, did you play that day? I've never even heard of that guy. Well, he got 196 that day. Oh, and I have heard Arthur Morris. I think he's another legend. All right, I've heard of him. I'll give him that.

So Bradman's Duck left his career test average at 99.94. A number no one has got anywhere near since. With a minimum of 20 career innings, the next closest only make the low 60s. So it's a huge gap. Yeah, wow. Does it really, really annoy you, Bob? Yes, I was going to say, that pisses me off. It was so clear.

He won four and he would have finished with the perfect average of 100. It would have been amazing. I think this, I mean, it kind of makes it more iconic. Yeah. There's something, you know, a little bit of tragedy at the end of this heroic career. So it was... It adds a bit of something to it. It was 99.9.1.

9. Just so I remember for future trivia. Yeah, well, good. Oh, well, here's a fun fact. Well, that relates to you. Well, okay, here's a fact. But it does relate to your other employer. Oh, yeah.

The Australian Broadcasting Corporation takes its postcode of 9994 from Bradman's career average. Takes its postcode. Yeah, so if you send mail to the ABC, the postcode is 9994. Huh. I mean, I don't have to send mail to the ABC. That's cool. You probably get your checks from them, though, right? Yes.

and they send it to me. And I'm 1-1-1-1 because I'm number 1. Oh, wow. That's actually 111, but... Shut the fuck up. They might have told you... Shut the fuck up. So Bradman's final test innings was a failure,

but his final Australian tour was not. In all, the side went through their 34-match tour undefeated. 34-match tour. What? And they would become known as the invincibles. As well as Bradman, this legendary team also featured greats like Sid Barnes, Arthur Morris, Keith Miller, and Ray Lindwall. It was also the first Ashes series for Harvey, who got his first chance in the fourth test,

making 112 and being at that point the youngest Australian to make a test 100. I think that's right. He's also the only member of the Invincibles still alive, the others having all died, making a mockery of the name. Did you have the same look on your face when you wrote that down? I'm like, I've got to squeeze one joke into this report. Harvey made it over for the Ashes test at Lords in England last year in 2019, and he told the ABC, it's my favourite ground.

I've realised it's the home of cricket, and I appreciate all that history of the place it's got. and I just love going back there. And this next line is the only reason I included this paragraph in here. Every time I walk through those grace gates, I get turned on. There's no doubt about it. It does something to me. I want to fuck it.

I want to fuck it. I want to fuck that ground. I'm invincible. Fuck me, ground. I don't fuck humans. I'm invincible. I walk through those gates and I've got a massive boner immediately. And I'm ready to.

Fuck. Okay. Thanks. Okay, Neil. Thanks, Neil. Thanks, Neil. I'm probably not going to publish that, to be honest. Well, they did. They published the truth at the ABC. Turns me on. I get Randy for it. All right. Okay. Please stop. The ABC article goes on. Every Australian player on that 1948 tour wanted to share the crease with Donald Bradman. Harvey only got a couple of opportunities to do so, but said batting with the Dom was like living the dream. It was just a pleasure to get up at the other end and watch him. He was twice as good as anybody else, Harvey said. If you can't get out there and watch and learn something, well, there's something wrong with you.

He was a joy to watch and a great bloke to get on with, which obviously is a different perspective than what others had. Cool to know that Neil really, Neil Harvey really enjoyed playing with him. The following year, in 1949, Bradman was knighted for services to cricket. He's still the only Australian test cricketer to receive that honour. I think he's the only stockbroker as well. Yes. He got, yeah, he's got two knighthoods.

I didn't even know you could get that. He can. He's a double knight. He's a double knight. So, yeah, only Australian cricketer ever received that honour. Bill Woodfull, who you would have remembered from earlier, he was the captain during the Bodyline series. He was offered the same honour in 1934 just after the Bodyline series,

but turned it down. I imagine with his finger up going, nah, fuck you, queen, or whatever. I'd take it. Yeah, what am I? What am I, John Lennon? I'd take a knighthood. I'd be a knight. Sir Jessica, I love it.

Sounds great. I'd take that for sure. That just works. Thank you. Modern great Sashen Tendulka is the player, some argue, eclipse Bradman. Cricket.com recounted the time Tendulka visited the Don. He asked Bradman how he thought he'd have coped in the contemporary game. He said that he didn't think he would have scored quite so many runs because of the more

defensive field settings that he used nowadays, Tendulka wrote. He also said that the standard of fielding was much better in the contemporary game. Tendulka and Warned then asked Bradman what his test average would likely have been if he was playing then. Bradman replied, around 70. We were slightly surprised and asked if he was sure it would be so much lower than his famous career average of 99.9-9-4, Tendulka writes. He said, well, 70 isn't bad for a 90-year-old.

Hey, there's another string in Bradman's bow, Wisecracker. Oh, love that. Squash, cricket, poetry, song, stocks, stocks, wisecracking. Yep. Long time, listener, patron and all-round gentleman Gary Jair from the UK, message me to let me know that as well as the knighthood, Bradman has received a companion of the Order of Australia in 1979, voted the greatest male athlete of the past 200 years by the Australian Confederation of Sport in 1980,

selected as one of only two Australians by international who's who top hundred people who have done the most to shape the 20th century. The other former Australian selected was Rupert Murdoch, nominated among the top 10 sports people of the 20th century by the World Confederation of Sport, named male athlete of the century in 1999 by the Sport Australia Hall of Fame, ranked the number one Australian athlete of the 20th century by Sports Illustrated magazine with a bikini cover. Dawn in a bikini, obviously.

Don in a centre spread. In 2000, he was voted the greatest cricketer of the 20th century by Wisden Cricket Ormanac. This decision was unanimous amongst the 100 judges, which you can't get much more definitive than that. And he was nominated captain of the association. Australian cricket team of the century. So a couple of little feats there. Wow.

But I wanted to finish with a, maybe a weird effect, hopefully fun as well. Let's see what Jeff says. I'm so excited for weird. What's he into? What's he into? Well, it's not that weird. I mean, it's pretty plain for weird,

but it is, well, let's say what you think. He always wore fishnets under his cricket pants. And that actually meant that he had to wear bag-year cricket pants, which inspired a lot of other cricketers. According to an ABC article, Sir Donald was a very careful driver. As he got older, he only wanted to make left turns, so drove in concentric circles. He drove around the block. What do you mean, Don? If you turn left enough times, you'll get there.

Why do you do that? That's funny. Our Don Bradman. I wish that was it. There should be a new verse in the song. Turning left and left again. How, Don Bradman. Left and left and left and left.

Don, honestly. That's funny. That's a fun fact. And that brings us to the end of the Don Bradman report. How done. What a journey. What an epic. What a mammoth report.

report and an end to, you know, it's a bit of sweet. It's an end to Gary Jay's 30 plus week long petitioning for this very topic. So I hope he's happy. Yeah, it's funny. I mean, he did actually, he, there was some time, I normally would finish a biography report with, all good things must come to an end. And of course, all good things must come to an end. There was hope that he would finally make the hundred in life when he wasn't able to do that with his average.

Oh no. But he died. He again, he died at the age of 99.94. Oh, no. If he was allowed for six more hours, he would have made it. No, he died in February of 2001, aged 92. So he died in a pre-9-11 world. Wow.

92. That's a fucking good inning. He only knew how to score big. So, yeah, that does bring us to the end of the episode. Should we get into everyone's favorite section of the show? I reckon. Okay. Well, I think it's got a little jingle.

It's called fact quote or question. The jingle goes... Fact quote or question. Ding! You always remembers the ding. So the way this one works is if you support us at patreon.com slash dig on pod on the Sydney-Schenberg's Lux Memorial Edition, level, rest in peace.

You get to give us a fact, a quote, or a question. There's a heap of different rewards that you can get involved on, different prices, different levels. Bonus episodes, we now do three bonus episodes a month. Dave's in charge of those this month. He's already done a mini report. Yeah, I did a report which is inspired by our episode a couple of weeks ago. I talked about the bat bomb and other weird World War II explosives inspired by us.

The nickname of Don Bradman. Oh, the bat bomb. Yeah, so that was inspired by us talking very briefly about anti-tank dogs. We also talked about a few other animals that they tried to blow up in World War II to kill the enemy. And it was very, very strange story. Truly stupid. And, yeah, so there's a heap of other things as the Facebook group, which is, if you're in there, you would have seen this Don Bradman campaign that's been going on for the best part of a year.

But yes, for this section, it's the fact quote of question section. First up from Bron Alday, and in brackets, yes, you can thank me all day. Correct pronunciation. Oh, Bron all day. Thank you, Bron. Oh, no, we always say all day until then, that one moment. And Bron has given herself the title of Do Go on Quiz Team Scribe. I seldom know the answer, but have excellent.

penmanship. So there's on the Facebook Patreon group there's a weekly quiz put up by Thomas and he, yeah, obviously Bron is the scribe. So that's another fun little thing you can get involved in if you want to. That's not even an official, there's not even an official reward or whatever you call it. But that's just a freaking sweet bonus. Whenever I'm in there, I'm like, smarter people are handling this. I'll leave them to it. I'll leave them to it. I'll leave them to it. I often come in late and go, I don't know any of these. Oh, they've already figured it out. Cool.

I'll slink away. I'll go back out. Hit a ball against a tank. Anyway, Bronas asked us a question this week, and the question is, my favourite dinosaur is a brontosaurus because it has my name in it. Fair. If you were a dinosaur, what sort of dinosaur would you be? Davosaurus.

Yeah. Well, you'd be daphosaurus if you're using the same. The same formula. Okay. Sorry, I couldn't help you because I didn't know where you were going. I'd be Matosaurus. I think my favorite, I think it maybe is even hack, my favorite dinosaur. T-Ratropes.

Try-terotops, yeah. I'd be a flying one. Oh, yeah, teradactyl? Yeah, it'd be a teredactyl. I love to fly. Actually, that's not true. I don't like being on planes. They scare me.

but if I could fly. But if you were a plane, yeah, because I like to be in control. So if I was some sort of creature that could fly, I'm in control of that, then I feel comfortable. You're both the plane and the pilot.

Yes, yeah, yeah. I like driving on like the Great Ocean Road. I love driving on acid, but I love driving the Great Ocean Road on acid. If I'm like with friends driving on the Great Ocean Road, I have to drive because I have to be in control. Yeah, otherwise you get sick in your tummy. Uh, sure.

What I say it's really just more a control freak thing. Right. I know people who don't like those windy roads unless they're in control of the vehicle just because it makes them feel car sick. Yeah, get less car sick. Sure, it's that. That's just a good way of you getting out of looking like a control freak next time. Yeah, perfect. That's a little life hack.

So yeah, can I be a triceratops? I'm going to be those little ones that fuck up Newman in Jurassic Park. Yeah, yeah. They spit Gack? Is that them? Yeah. The Raptors, was it? They're Raptors, but I've been told by someone who's an dinosaur enthusiast,

but that's not what Raptors actually are. I could be wrong. Oh, no. No, I'm not. You know those little ones? Yeah. Are they also called Raptors? Yeah.

So Velociraptors are different. Well, I mean, you are talking to a couple of Dino spurts, so I think just take her. answer for it. Yeah, just put me down for one of those. But I'm pretty sure, no, don't listen to me. And don't at me. Thank you so much, Bronn. Hopefully you also, I mean, Bronosaurus is a great too. I love those ones that are kind of like dinosaur giraffes with the long necks. Yeah, they're cool. They're cool. And I think of Bronosaurus is in that sort of thing. Dinosaurs. Dinosaur laughs. Thank you, Bron. The next one comes from Jordan, Jonda, Nassie. and Jordan's given himself the title of Dave's Sugar Bowl expert and union rep.

I remember Dave didn't know what a sugar bowl was? Still don't. That's fun. Oh, and if you want to see that happen in real time, you can now get a ticket to that episode. That first series of live streams was only up at the time. You could get a ticket and only it was only up for 24 hours. But Stupid Old Shooters have got it up in their new system now, So you can buy a ticket and have it for as long as you like.

And see Dave, see his face as he is confused by Sugar Bowls. Enjoy that vision. You can go to sOSPresents.com. And if you did buy a ticket back then, you should have got an email explaining to you how to access those again. Yeah. Anyway, Jordan, aka Dave Sugar Bowl expert and the union rep, has a fact. And the fact looks longish. Let me read it.

I have a few facts about Canada. Canadian Hero and future report topic, Terry Fox ran 5,373 kilometres on one leg, raising over $25 million for cancer research. I mean, Jordan, it feels like we don't need to do a report now. Yeah, you've done it. You've done it for us. My hometown, Calgary, Go Flames, Alberta, hosts the world's largest stampede, and has been doing so since 1912.

That's on my list of things to do. Yeah, one of my friends went a couple of years ago. I met some Calgarians when I was traveling through the Greek islands many moons ago, 10 years ago or something in actually. And yeah, got on really well with them. And I've been meaning to go visit a Calgary Sanpapers, never got around to it. But that's why I go for the flames. And the Penguins is a different story.

It's because I was given a hat. So I have two hockey teams. We have six time zones in Canada. Fun fact. What, did that's a fun fact? That's pretty fun. We call Beanie's tokes or toks. Toots?

Yeah. Took? Yeah. On Nathan for you, he's always talking about his took. The coldest temperature ever recorded in Canada is negative 63 degrees Celsius. That's gold. That's too cold. Calgary is famous for its Chinooks, a weather phenomenon that can raise the temperature by 10 degrees in a matter of minutes.

The baseball glove was invented in Canada in 1883. The CN Tower in Toronto was the world's tallest freestanding structure until 2007. Huh. World's tallest freestanding structure. That's fun. Whatever it means. A Canadian delicacy called Poutine is made up of fries, gravy and cheese curds. Yeah.

I've seen that around. I'm writing this on Canada Day, July 1st. Oh, not too delayed on that. That's six weeks. All right, final question. Have these facts been sufficiently fun, Jess? They're pretty fun. I've been thinking for a while now about how many time zones we have.

It's like four? I know of three. Western Australia, South Australia slash Northern Territory, Central time and Eastern time. A South Australia northern territory the same? Yeah. They're half an hour behind us. Yeah. And Western Australia is two hours behind us.

And then it does get complicated when daylight savings happens. because Queensland doesn't do it. So that sort of splits us into four. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah, three. Half of Canada. That's crazy.

Those are some fun facts. Those are, do you know that China has one? Yeah. I love that. Just consolidate. It won't make sense for everyone, but it makes sense for some of them.

I know. What are they doing? Some cities, it's like, this is perfect. Some of the cities must be like, oh, it's dark at midday.

China's a big country. Do you know that about China? Huge. Yeah, it's real big. Is it the, Dave, would it be the, it's top five. I know that. Australia's five. Brazil's four.

China, Russia and, no, Canada, USA. And Russia, yeah. Fun fact. Jess, was that fun? You rambling through it? Going, wait, no, yes, wait. I still don't think what I said was quite right. But anyway, Catherine Kloh is chief optimist.

What a fantastic person to have on board. Thank you, Catherine, for bringing the optimism. And a question this week, which is, what is your ultimate dinner party slash barbecue slash picnic slash brunch of six? With no regard to time or space, life or death, and obviously all catering, venue expense, and so on is taken care of, naturally. What do you mean?

Those are all so different. Yeah, I guess it's... Are we doing all of them or picking one? You're picking one. What's your ultimate? I mean, is this for all of us together? Maybe we each bring two guests. No, one guest because it's six.

We each get to bring one guest. Jess, you handle location, Dave, food, and I'll bring decorations. No, music. Okay. Yeah, great. Decorations. We're going to fucking bring party at. Food, food-wise.

It's just cheese. Just cheese. Big spread. Nothing else. Not even biscuits or bread. Just cheese. So some cheese is sort of like the place is the biscuit. And then you put a piece of cheese on top of that.

Cheese on cheese. And then you dip it in like a soft cheese. Fondue. Dave, that sounds terrible. No, no. Why you do, it could be anything. And you've chosen just cheese. I'm regretting.

Not even a nice grazing plate or anything. Yeah. There's a place. This is ultimate. You're a fucking. idiot. Just cheese. Can we take him out of the equation? Let's bring two friends each.

Did I miss a bit? Why are we bringing friends? What's that? She said it's your ultimate dinner party, blah, blah, blah, of six. Oh. And there's three of us. I'm going to replace my friend with a block of cheese. No, you're not invited anymore. Are you not taking this seriously?

Dave, take this fucking seriously. No, I'm taking it very seriously. So seriously that if you're not. don't agree to this, you will both die. So we can't even put the cheese on a cracker? No. Or on some bread. There's no room for the bread.

Is there quince paste? No. What the fuck? It's just fucking cheese. Like, but every type of cheese. Name a cheese. It's there. I do like, I like some cheese.

Is there a smoky cheddar? Me too. I like them on a bickie. Sorry about that. There's a smoky cheddar. Yeah. I love some sun dried tomatoes and olives as well. I'm afraid no room. Why the fuck did you put Dave in charge of this?

I will never make this mistake again. I really thought he would have brought something cool to the party, but... I have, cheese, lots of it, like pizza. I'm mad about this now. I don't know why. I just want it to be cheese. It's my dream. All right.

Now, Jess, who can we bring who will have food with them? I'm going to bring... I'm going to bring Gordon Ramsey. Yep. I'm going to bring Mr. Biscuits. Mr. Biscuits. Mr. Biscuits always comes prepared. He's always got the goose.

So, yeah, I'm bringing Mr. Biscuits, and the music's going to be or Fox Trot music. Yeah. About Don Bradman. Oh, Dombram. I wish Dave didn't fuck this up. Yeah, David really ruined up. This was going to be a fun mind project and he fucked it.

Well, how is this fucked up? You get to do it if you want. It was so disrespectful. It's not disrespectful. respectful. I pick what I want it. But you won't even let us have bickies. Yeah, well, I'm afraid that I decided on a thing. What's that do for you? Allowing us to have bickies.

Sorry, you'll have to sneak to the toilets if you want bickies. I think we will be with a purely cheese diet. We'll be sneaking to the toilets quite a lot. Or never again. One of the two. Yeah, it's a real roll of the dice. Oh. I mean, I never go anyway.

I didn't like cheese that much. Doesn't go to the toilet. Yes, I could have picked eggs, but I didn't. Yeah, all right. I do prefer cheese over eggs. Fuck me. What were you going to, you're, what's the location, Jess? Oh, you should do it in a cracker factory.

Oh, okay. Because here's what I was originally thinking. And I don't even remember which city we were in. So trying to follow me here. I might have been Bristol. Where was the one that we were staying on top of the, the bar that was very noisy? Yeah, Bristol. Bristol.

And we went, we found that cafe across the road. which was like used to be a bank and the building was gorgeous and it was really nice inside. Do you remember that? Yeah. And it ended up being a chain. Yeah. And then we had to get another time. I was going to say there because it was really nice.

But then Dave ruined it by only bringing cheese. So yeah, I guess we'll move it to a biscuit factory. But if you have it there, we can just order other things. Have it there. Oh, yeah. Dave can sit there with this weird pile of cheese. I'm excited. I'm just going to order a meal.

I just don't know. so you guys won't get on board with the cheese. I'm on board with cheese. Let's get on board. If it's accompanied by other things. I think that ruins the cheese. Don't dilute the cheese, just, yeah, come on, mate.

Can you please move on to the next fact credit question? Yes. I'm going to lose it. Okay, you seem upset and with good reason. Thank you, Catherine, for that great question. I hopefully, luckily, she is an optimist, so you'll be able to find something in that. And finally this week, from my,

Michael de Rizzi pronounced, oh my God. He's given us the pronunciation, but with those squiggly lines, I don't know what they mean. What are squiggly lines over the ease? Derezze. Anyway, Michael has given himself the title of official one half Neapolitan Italian of the pod, sucked in mat. I love three-flavored ice cream. That's great.

Oh, what's your favorite of the three? Chocolate, then vanilla, then strawberry. You can have all the chocolate. As a child, I went the other way. I was a fool when I was a boy. Strawberry vanilla, then chocolate. Idiot. But, Jess, you don't like chocolate ice cream?

I don't like that chocolate ice cream. Yeah, I mean, all of those are bad. It's the worst vanilla, worst strawberry, worst chocolate. If you could combine three different types of good, though. Then I'd take chocolate vanilla strawberry. Yeah, agreed. Michael has asked the question. Have you guys seen Avatar the last airbender?

Is that a no for me? That's the question. He goes on to say some more stuff, but I was just saying, that's a big, it's a no for me, dog. It's a no for me also. It's a no for me also. It goes on to say, and do you guys agree that it's the best? Yes, I agree.

That's a no from me also. It's a no from me, dog. Dave, you know what? You and I are fighting. We both have said no. Yeah, but first the Tuesday thing. What are you laughing at Matt? I'm loving this fight.

But this is fun, because it feels sort of real. The cheese thing, and now it's a no from me, dog. I'm pretending to be that guy from American Idol. Which guy? Why? I think he's named Randy. He said his Randy. Randy the puppet?

See on his American Idol? Yeah, he was early on. That's fun. Anyway, Michael is seriously mad at himself for not watching this in his childhood and waiting until corona locked down to binge it. It's so good. It's a little hot tip from Michael.

Okay, great. See, you can... Oh, give it a go. You can really use the fact quota question for anything. And Michael's done it for a little hot tip there. And we appreciate that, Michael. Thank you, Michael, Catherine, Jordan and Brian. If you want to get involved, go to Patreon.com slash two-gone pod.

Another thing we like to do is thank a few of our other Patreon supporters. Jess only comes up with a little game based on today's episode. What do you reckon this week, Jess? For a second, I forgot what the topic was. Could we give them a sport? They're the best in the world at? Yeah, but squash and cricket are taken. Yeah, agreed.

Squash in South Australia, that is. So it's a sport that they're the Babe Ruth of. Oh, hang on. Put it in the terms I understand, Dave. Honestly, David. You are on thin ice, my friend. It's a sport that they're the, Don Bradman of creating jobs of.

Okay, great. The sport they're the prime minister of. Honestly, Dave, that's two strikes, one more strike and you're out. Like Babe Ruth? Oh, yeah, I guess so. I was thinking like working strikes and, you know, job creation. To it, let's do it. I'll go through first from, may I think, from Jarrow in Tyne and Weir, Great Britain, Patrick Ward.

Patrick Ward is the best in the world. at figure skating. Oh, that's a good one. Figer skating. I like that. Because, I mean, I would be probably on the podium for that one as well. So it's good to have you up there with me, Patrick. You and me, two of the best.

Is Patrick the Torval and or Dean? Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Big time, I'm the Torval. He's the Dean. Love it. Without knowing what that means. Thank you so much, Patrick.

you figure skatee you. I'd also have to thank from Place Unknown, Jordan Roundtree. Do these from the Bermuda Triangle? Whoa. Oh, could be. Could be for sure. I'm going to assume yes. And I reckon Jordan Roundtree is the Don Bradman of pheasant plucking.

Hmm. A well-known sport. Yeah. Is he far? Is Jordan fast or are they just, are they doing lots? Oh, he's one of the fastest pheasant pluckers out there. You can't pluck pheasant faster. Geez, almost fell for my own trap there.

Well, done, Jordan. Good work there. These are a live pheasants, and they're basically going in. He's like a barber for pheasants. They want to. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stylish.

Uh-huh. Plucking. And finally, also from a mysterious location, I'd love to thank Akela Talamaskar. I've got the feeling that Akela is the Don Bradman of building sandcastles. Oh, that's a real, that's, I'll, it's something so impressive for that, about that, people who build those huge sand sculptures. Especially because you're like, this is going to be gone soon. I reckon there's something, something about that. You know, it said something about it.

It's like a comment on life. Rather than contemporary art, it's just temporary art. Oh, that was very good. Thank you. I've been working as a poet while we're in ISO, just for the catch. I feel like you're the Don Bradman of poetry. Thank you, yes. Dave, do you want to thank some people also?

Oh, please. I would like to thank from probably the greatest place in the world, Wabash, Indiana. I would like to thank Kyle R. Haggaty. Oh, Kyle Haggety from Wabash. Wabash, Indiana. And Kyle is the Don Bradman of scuba diving. Yes.

Kyle's been deeper than anyone's ever been. Yep. And other people have tried and I can't. I can't get there. I can't do it. Kyle does it easy. Love you work, Kyle. I would like to thank now from Baton Rouge in Louisiana, Jodie Scherdy.

Scram. Jody. Joddy. Shram. She's the world champion, sorry, the Don Bradman, tapping people on the opposite shoulder and making them think that you're on the other side of them. And then they look over there, but you're really on the other side. And they go, what?

What? They've never been beaten. That's really good. Also, I mean, I started by actually naming a fucking sport. Which one did you name? Which one did you name? That was so cute. I thought you said figure skating.

That's not real. Which one did you name? Ficker skating. Anyway. I mean, they're both words. I just wish you guys would fill me in when you're going to do a joke. Oh. Like just give me a heads up that you're going to make a joke.

Oh, I'm sorry. So I can prepare myself for the joke. Fair enough. Well, coming up next from Seattle, Washington, Stephanie Perkle is the Don Bradman of Cricket. Sorry, Jess didn't tell you I was going to do a joke one. Just kidding. She's the Don Bradman of break dancing. Whoa.

That's great dancing. That's cool. The twist on her head and like the freeze and like the worm, all this. But like real good. Wearing a helmet? Yeah. Or is this like body line? era. She gets her B-boys to spin her on it. That's sick. That's so cool. Well done. Stephanie Pergler.

It's amazing that this run of supporters are all top of their game. It's amazing, isn't it? They're the best in the world at this. Pretty incredible. Is it my turn now too? Yes. Well, I would love to thank from South Africa. Is that Gorteng? Yeah. Wow. South Africa. This is cool. Beatrix Williams. It's Williams. And Matt, what does Beatrix the world's Don Bradman of? Matt say pottery. Oh. Sculpture?

Oh, the fucking... But the sculptures are pots. Get it, Beatrix Potter? Oh. I did not get that, but I love it now. Beatrix is a great name. I like it a lot. You're not the only ones who can make jokes.

Is Z-A the country thing for South Africa? I would not have guessed that. Great work. Everyone concerned. South Africa getting a good mention in the report today. And I would also love to thank, thank you again to Beatrix. I would love to thank from St. John. Is I in Indiana?

Yes. Yeah. St. John, Indiana. Kathleen Payonk. Oh, that's a Ripper. That's sort of Hall of Fame level, great name. Yeah, that's really pretty good. Kathleen Payonk.

Oh, my God. That's so sad. satisfying to say. Kathleen Pionk. Oh, I feel good about myself. And she's actually the best in the world. She's the Don Bradman of glass blowing. Oh, yeah.

Wow. Love that. Beautiful stuff. She blows it into any shape you want. You name a shape. She can do it. Different colors, whatever. Easy.

Square. Cued. Triangle. No problem. Yeah. Yorn. Glass bottle. Kathleen Payonk.

She can do it. She can do glass bottles. Yeah. Yeah, what's her business? Payonk pains, like glass panes. Oh, very good. Yeah. And finally, I would also love to thank from Livermore, California, Corey Stewart. Oh, because.

Corey Stewart is the Don Bradman of skill tester machines. Oh, good one. Can get any plush toy you want. Really? That's cool. I reckon that that makes sense because I'm very good at those as well so I imagine that that's a skill that runs in the family

Yeah, that makes sense That's our family's work as I understand it Yeah, I think things run in them I mean, I don't even know why you're even bringing it up again Because that's definitely what happens Anyway, thank you, Catherine, Catherine Not Catherine I take that back, there's no thanks to Catherine

But I do thank Corey and Kathleen and Beatrix And Stephanie and Jody and Kyle and Akeela and Jordan and Patrick. Thank you all. That only leaves us with the most luxurious and what's a better word here? Fancy pants. Exclusive club. The Triptage Club.

And this is only accessible if you support us on the shoutout level or above for three straight years. and each week we let in a few members if they've been on for three years. Dave normally comes up with a band to play. Jess has a little horser and drink, and I have a quick look to see if anyone's on the guest list tonight. Well, why are you looking at the music tonight? You're not going to believe it. It's not just one musician tonight.

We've got 40,000 musicians all playing the music to our Don Bradman. 40,000. Anyone who bought a copy of the sheet music will be performing for us tonight. Wow. That's great. It's going to sound horrific, but it'll be very funny. Yeah, it'll be really good. Well, to accompany that while you're watching the 40,000 horrific musicians,

we'll just have a selection of cheese. My dream. And just fucking cheese. I love, thank you so much for catering to us cheese lovers. A drink to go with it, just like chocolate milk, hot milk. milk or something, a fucking hot chocolate and some cheese. How's the hot chocolate? The off-forgotten cheese-loving demographic.

Thank you. It's great to be finally recognised. Well, there's a few members coming in, and Dave normally welcomes them in. Jess lifts up the velvet rope. I read out the name. They run in. Dave gives them a little, sort of like a little juzh up, a little bit of a, he's sort of their hype man.

You get hyped on your way through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Firstly, from San Antonio in Texas, it's Colin Span. Benrath. Oh, spend some time in here, Rath. From La Mesa, California, it's Cameron Hidalgo. Hidalgo, we ain't messing around now you're here, my brother. All right.

From Padstow in New South Wales, it's Jake Vent. Oh, you've been venting outside, not having a good time, but inside. You'd be having the best time. From Bedford, Texas, it's Monica Marie Lopez. Oh, they said Jenny from the block. We don't need her. We want Monica Lopez. From the block.

From Holeskirchen. Holtz-Curchen, Bavaria. It's Maritz Ramuda. Moritz. Oh, yes, Maritz. Great saint supporter, Maritz. He's from Holz-Circhen. I'm pretty sure I stayed in Hals-Circhen when I was in Muncher-Curchen.

when I was in Munchin for the October Fest. Love it. Putting on Moretz. And finally, from Monterey Park in California, it's Jacob Giron or Giron. Did you say the same name twice? One with the hard Gie, one with the soft. Jacob Giron or Jacob Giron. I possibly did.

Never going to grin you up. All right, everybody could know. Okay, Dave was on tonight. It was on. It's so late. It's so late. It's got to go to bed. It's so late here.

We've lost our minds. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode. We did it. Well done, Matt. Hey, thank you. Thanks for sticking with it. Dave, well done. Fucking be better next week.

Why? You know what you did. You hate it on Adelaide, then you hated on cheese. Your heart was full of hate tonight, mate. Oh, Adelaide is a real wine and cheese city, too. And that's why I feel a connection to that place. Fuck off. Much like Adelaide, I'm also a big red.

Oh, that's not anything. Adelaide has a big red. Much like Adelaide, no one likes me. Oh, that's a bit rough, Jess. I know a few people who like you. Who? I do. I thought you were saying that in my voice and I was trying to spin it on to you.

But you were just being sad and, And it's no fun when that's the case. I thought I was being hilarious. You've been very funny. Anyway, Dave, wrap this shit up. Oh, thank you so much for joining us for another week of Do Go On. We'll be back next week. But guess what?

In between now and then, you can check out our other episodes, our Patreon, our Facebook, Twitter, Instagram by going to do go onpod.com. And clicking on some links or going to at Do Go On Pod on the aforementioned social medias. It's all there. We also have a YouTube channel. check out the videos. Our faces move. Big time. It's crazy. Very animated.

But apart from that, we'll say thank you so much for joining us. And until next time, goodbye. Later. Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are

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