Do Go On - 256 - The Korean Axe Murder Incident

Episode Date: September 16, 2020

What seemingly harmless backyard activity nearly caused World War 3? Gardening! In 1976, a group of South Korean and US soldiers were ordered to cut down a poplar tree in the Demilitarized Zone separa...ting North and South Korea. The North Korean soldiers watching on were not happy and attacked and killed two US soldiers, leaving the US with the question of how to retaliate. They didn't want to look weak but they also didn't want to kick off a huge war... This is known to history as The Poplar Incident, AKA The Korean Axe Murder Incident.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodBuy tickets to our streamed shows (there are 8 available to watch now! All with exclusive extra sections): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoonCheck out our web series: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2TuMQ31VXvqqEus9Bo6FZW-dDY5ukEuh Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: dogoonpod@gmail.comCheck out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:Toby Luckhurst’s BBC article https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-49394758Uri Friedman’s article with The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2018/06/axe-murder-north-korea-1976/562028/https://medium.com/history-of-yesterday/korean-axe-murder-incident-48f3e16e47b6

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long-term solution,
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Starting point is 00:01:56 in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello! Hello! Oh, hi!
Starting point is 00:02:37 You went big! You went small! What do we like? I'm just trying to give it reserved. Can I? I'm so cute! I don't need to be the center of attention all the time. You guys listen to me. I was just being a small little opening
Starting point is 00:02:50 and Jess here comes Jess, always being the center of attention with a big, hell-open, not me. I won't make this about me. I'll tell you what I'll make it about Jess. Yeah. And how she always tries to be the center of attention, unlike me.
Starting point is 00:03:03 Yep. That's what makes us the cutest little potting duo in the world with our friend Dave here. Hello. Oh, here we go. Now Dave needs his time to shine. Fantastic. No, no, my method is I'll go silent for a long time and you go, Dave, what's wrong? What's wrong?
Starting point is 00:03:20 I'll say nothing. Nothing. Don't worry about it. Don't worry. I'm fine. I'm fine, nothing. You did? Post on Facebook the other day, I hate these people and they know who they are.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Yeah, I did see that. And I loved it. Yeah. And I posted a mystery photo of me in a hospital bed with no explanation. So I got 30 people being like, what's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?
Starting point is 00:03:43 And I said, I just... I don't want to talk about it. And then later on I said, I found a hospital bed in the car park. So I took a photo. And this photo was from quite a while ago. So I've got long black hair. Oh no. I'm bringing it up. Matt's number one comment was, don't do it again. Please tell me this is an old photo. So this show works in a way... The way I feel like it works, tell me if I'm right or wrong here. One of the three of us goes away, researchers are a topic that's often been voted on by our listeners or patrons,
Starting point is 00:04:17 our patron supporters. We learn a lot about, we write up a report, and we come back and tell the other two who listen respectfully. Is that about right? Yes. Close enough. Okay, great. I don't know what you mean Dave. I don't know what you mean. The report part was right, but anyway. Occasionally there's a knowing tangents and sometimes people interrupt to tell the others about a story about eating a cake one time. Yeah, it's usually irrelevant, hopefully. And also, every three weeks, the Sast twins come to play.
Starting point is 00:04:53 And oh, would you look at that? Just looking at my calendar here. I've got a little notification. Oh, the Sast twins are in town today. Oh, are you ready for a Sast attack, though? Is it Sast of clock? Dave, you ready to be Sast? I am, this is. Are you are you ready for a sass detector? Is it sass a clock? Dave, you ready to be sassed? I am.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Are you ready to have your pants sassed off? Oh my god. Dave, I didn't realize you'd call to fly it over to sass scature wall. Hey, Dave, we're going to sass the fuck out of you. Hey, Dave, give us one of your glasses because I want to pour you a cold drink of sasperella Hey, Dave you know my favorite outer suburb in Melbourne what sasafras. Yeah, welcome population you
Starting point is 00:05:38 God I think we'll talk about if you give this give a couple of minutes to draft a letter to HR. That would be, um, well guess what, bitch? I'm HR. You got to. Uh, what they're talking about is it's my turn to do a report on topic and, uh, often, uh, when that happens, I get sassed. Um, and the way we get onto topic is by asking a question, so I've got a question for you and no clues because you're gonna Sass me so much so
Starting point is 00:06:07 I'll Sass you back with no clue. I just want to say like we don't always Sess you What sometimes we Sess the people in the story you're telling and we do that through you. Yeah, great I'm a service. Oh, yeah, sometimes you're not always the target for the sassing. Sometimes you are, absolutely. Yeah, justifiable. Yeah, sometimes it's just a general sass. But anyway, please do ask a question, your little fuckhead. So who we get on a topic with a question
Starting point is 00:06:38 and little fuckhead, David, what is your question this way? I'm not sure I know what sassing is. Well, I feel like I'm drinking a lot of sassin pop. There you go. I had to have a try. I haven't had a go. All right, my question to you is, in August 1976, a good year, what seemingly harmless backyard activity
Starting point is 00:07:01 almost caused world war three? Oh, wow. Okay. activity almost caused World War Three. Oh, wow. Okay. trampoline? Oh, yeah. No, well, no, actually, that's not a clue. I just fucked up.
Starting point is 00:07:13 I forgot what I had to give people clues. No, that's not right now. Okay. So it's not bouncing related at all. No, it's something you do in your backyard. Is it a barbecue? No. Didn't have a barbecue.
Starting point is 00:07:23 They have a swimming pool. I go for a swim. Hang up your washing Hang up your washing, but what I mean it's tending to you to your backyard. Yes very similar to mownule on it is building a ball Oh, is it getting out the bloody the weed hornet? Three thousand the whippers. Well, it is kind of in a way the answer is gardening Well, it is kind of in a way. The answer is gardening. Gardening.
Starting point is 00:07:45 What? How do we do a think of gardening? I don't have a backyard. I don't have a garden. Yeah, I do do some gardening on my balcony. If you'd made that question a little more clear, Dave, then maybe I would have got it. I haven't moved a lawn in so long
Starting point is 00:08:00 because the place I've rented now, there's a, because it's like a bunch of blocks. There's a The grass out the front. Someone just comes and does it. Oh, I love that. I don't even have a lawn mower You accuse us of being from the affluent east, but you have a full-time gardener on well, I think it's just like the Body corporate part of that the I mean the strip that they know is about nine acres in front of your houses Yeah, that's true. Yeah ride on lawn mower I also have the alpacas out there and they chew it up a bit and the thoroughbred horses too as well.
Starting point is 00:08:31 There's gardeners that look after the sort of block of units that I'm in and they always choose the worst time to put the leaf blower on. The work like fucking seven a.m. And I'm like, I will come out there and cut you up. I rather do it at seven a.m. and I'm like I will come out there and cut you I rather do it seven a.m. than during our podcast time so make sure that good point. Good point. Yes, I'll make sure. I see you setting up the microphone. They're like
Starting point is 00:08:54 There we go. Let's leave. I don't confuse. All right, so I'll phrase I'll say the question again with the answer in it. So in August 1976 gardening almost caused World War III. This topic is the popular incident, aka the Korean axe murder incident. What? What?
Starting point is 00:09:17 What's going on here? No. What's popular? That a plant. It's a tree, a popular tree. It's a tree, right. This topic has been suggested by two people. So thanks to Alex Buxel from St. Peter's and Tristan Thornton from London who both suggested
Starting point is 00:09:31 this topic. It was voted for by the Patreon supporters at patreon.com. So I just do go on part. Again, this one only won by two votes, beating out two other topics. I wanted to do something kind of obsessed at the moment with topics that have the word incident in the title, for example, the diet love past incident. So I put up three things, the something incident, and would you know it, writing Korean axe murder incident, of course, that was one of the cut across the line. Huh, interesting. Well, it's got my attention. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:10:00 I do. Perplexed already. Well, let me give you a bit of background here. So, time wise, this is actually this incident takes place two years before my other recent Korean based topic, episode 244, where North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il abducted Korean movie star, Cheyu and Hee, and her movie director, husband, Shin Sanok, and made them make films for his country. So, this is very much a similar time period for that if you have heard that episode. Okay, I just saw it on go over old territory.
Starting point is 00:10:29 How good is the South Korean flag? Just had to get that out of my system. So let's move on. Yeah, thank you for bringing that out. Honestly, I didn't appreciate it enough until you brought it out last time. And now I've looked at it, I've started it, and I've fallen in love with it.
Starting point is 00:10:41 Yeah. It's a great flag. Are you in love with a flag? Yes. Are you like the woman who married the flag. Are you in love with a flag? Yes. Are you like the woman who married the L'Affel Tower? Are you going to marry a flag? Are you? Well, there's actually a bit of flag based action in this story, so get excited for that. What do you mean by that? Well, you'll say. What do you post? Someone fuck a flag. Oh, did they print the flag on little condoms? Oh, yeah. Little ones.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Mini. Oh yeah. Little ones. Mini. Well, so just I felt they need to say little condoms are relatively speaking in terms of, you know, like compared them to a car, they're quite small. I mean, they're small compared to the IFAO Tower-sized ones that that life is too. Exactly. What a thank you. Custom, I imagine. They're also slightly bigger than Dix. Otherwise they would not work. Exactly, yeah. Think about it. That's their beauty.
Starting point is 00:11:30 Speak yourself around. So just to remind everyone of the background of the tensions between North and South Korea, which I talked a little bit about in that other episode, but in case you haven't heard it, in 1910 Korea was annexed by Japan, basically taken over, and Japan ruled them with an iron fist.
Starting point is 00:11:49 There were some uprising against their brutal overlords, but these mostly failed, and overall, it was a pretty awful time for Korea for many decades. After World War II, when Japan lost the war, Korea was divided into Soviet and US-administered zones, with the Soviet back north and US-administered zones, with the Soviet back north and the US-backed south. The Soviets installed young communist guerrilla Kim Ul-sung as leader, and he became the first premier of North Korea, and he is the grandfather of the current leader of North Korea, so they've never really given that up. The communist in the North invaded invaded the South and the two had
Starting point is 00:12:25 a bit of war, both one in control of the entirety of Korea. The Communists in the North were backed by the Soviet Union and China and the South was backed by the USA and the United Nations. And this is known as the Korean War and Raged for three years. Before an armistice was signed in 1953, but technically the war never finished and the tension was never fully resolved. The grudges ran deep and you can see why. The war had lasted for, this will piss you off, Jess, three years and one month.
Starting point is 00:12:55 Oh, fuck, sorry. You know, just cut it off 30 days earlier, guys, come on. Why doesn't anybody think of this? I don't know. Why? And it's, sure you'd be thinking of the history majors. It'll be a lot easier for them to remember. It was exactly three years. Three years. Boom. Sadly not. Three years and one month. And then all these history majors out there studying, failing over that. Yeah, that one month. Your pieces are shit. Finish your walls earlier
Starting point is 00:13:21 or keep them going on another year. Oh wow. Okay, they're about to sign and then thought now. Let's do this in 11 months. All right. Yeah The Korean war that's where mash was set. I think is that right? That's right. Yeah, mm-hmm N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n- Actually, what the nanny theme song was called? Like, drop your leg off, fuck ahead. It's just, that's my accent. The two of them, it's very close to, Davey. Drop your leg off, you fuck it. Yeah, I love that one. She was working there to rush the last week. Love that.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Well, this is, yeah, this is set up for a fascinating story already. Jess you missed the last one. Did you listen back to the last one? Yeah. Oh this is ring and some bells. Oh that's good news. Well just part of you were recapping just for May David. It wasn't fully necessary but I think it was good for people who maybe haven't listened to that one or you know for May who probably forgot a lot of it. Well I didn't really go into the numbers last time at the Korean War, which I wasn't fully across. And this is basically, so this is a set of attention in this episode. You can see why the grudge remained there because over those three years and one month, roughly
Starting point is 00:14:58 four million casualties resulted from the Korean War, including lots of civilians. So South Korean casualties were one million, three hundred thousand of those including lots of civilians. So South Korean casualties were 1,300,000 of those 1,000,000,000 were civilians. Communist casualties in the North were estimated at 2.5 million, including 1,000,000 civilians, and the United States Army lost about 37,000 in action. Wow. So you can see why these people hate each other, even though technically an armistice has been signed. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Part of which are... Two million civilians basically. Two million civilians, that's insane. Horrific stuff. And part of this armistice was a demilitarized zone known as the DMZ was created to separate the north and the south. They did this by pulling back each side's forces wherever they were at the time. 1.2 miles or 2 kilometres along each side of the boundary.
Starting point is 00:15:49 So in total, the DMZ is 4 kilometres or 2.5 miles wide and runs 160 miles or 250 kilometres east to west across the peninsula, basically cutting career in half. And at the DMZ, do they have a DMZ-type gossip office? Well, they... Yeah, they do. They're like, oh my god, it's so Charlie Sheen at the airport. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:16:13 I mean, what's the saddest videos you'll ever see? It's people running up to a celebrity who's like, hey, what's going on? Like, while they're waiting for a taxi being like, yeah. Yo, Kelsey Grammer, how's it going? And he's like, hey, what's going on? Like, while they're waiting for a taxi being like, yeah. Yo, Kelsey Grammar, how's it going? And he's like, hey man. Yeah, I'm fine, thanks. I'm trying to get a breakfast, really. We got the scoop on how Kelsey Grammar is today.
Starting point is 00:16:35 Okay. Oh, thanks, TMZ. TMZ. Oh, I love it. I felt like if I didn't say anything, we would have a, I can't believe you missed this. Oh my God. Message or, you know, so I just thought I'm just going to get in there. So if you are halfway through writing, I can't believe you missed this message, you
Starting point is 00:16:55 may delete. I've never once read one of those and thought, yeah, I wish I'd said that. But we get lower. Good point. Sometimes it's missed very much on purpose. Anyway, sorry to interrupt you there, Dave, with a dumb tangent. Please do your own. That's what the show is.
Starting point is 00:17:13 Without it, it's just stats on the Korean War. Yeah, I thought I'd line it up a bit. So this is big bit in the middle where no one's allowed to go. Basically, and there's guard towers and barbed wire on either side side and the inside most of the land has just remained untouched for decades and returned to nature, basically. But what's the point of it just to keep them from... A little buffer? Yeah, so it's a little buffer in that you stay on your side, well, stay on our side. And there's not much in the middle except for the odd land mine, to make sure that you stay on your side
Starting point is 00:17:51 God's a bit of a waste of space. I love a D milletrize zone, which is just full of bombs Grab a little that military bullshit out of there. We keep it at the land. Okay If any of you try to disturb the piece will blow you up. It's interesting that I never before you talked about this on the last episode What was it 244 or whatever? Yeah, I never knew why North and South Korea split up. And it sounds so it's kind of like North and East and West Germany, only they just never got back together. Never got back together.
Starting point is 00:18:21 And then I think both of them still claim to be the proper career. Right. And it seems like they're just a million years away from reconciling. Yeah, every now and then there seems to be a little bit of like, oh, this is a good will, good will, and then often it falls through. But different to different between reconciling like getting on and bringing them to back together and reunite. Yeah, that seems like a long way away. Yeah. So the fighting never stopped, but the rivalry never ended. Either side of the DMZ, both sides set up large speaker systems and blasted propaganda
Starting point is 00:18:52 and insults at each other. South Korea is... Okay. That I love. I love broadcasting insults at people in Taiwan. That's fine. You're shit. You're shit.
Starting point is 00:19:04 Hey, attention. Hey, you shit. You shit. Hey, attention. Attention, South Korea. You suck. Honestly, it is basically- Oh, yeah, North Korea, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you suck. It is stuff like that. Is it stuff like, hey, South Korea sense of like,
Starting point is 00:19:19 hey, our country's so good, we don't have to trap our citizens here. Stuff like that. Well, yeah, so South Korea's stream of noise evolved to feature weather forecasts, news that was banned in North Korea and K-pop music. I'm also imagining that weather forecasts are banned. I think they're like, you can never know. Just take a jacket.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Don't waste sun in here. Soul is beautiful right now. Wish you were here. Rain is just a different kind of sun. You're just interpreting it wrong. You idiot. Sometimes sounds were blasted all day and night and made it difficult for the soul just stationed on the other side to sleep.
Starting point is 00:19:56 That's how loud and often they were blasting it. Oh my God. So that's the south side. Then up north, according to NPR, North Korea, counted with its own messages that praised its country and berated the depraved capitalist South. Those broadcasts were reportedly less loud and were prone to technical issues
Starting point is 00:20:14 because of electricity shortages. So that's a bit embarrassing. That is a bit embarrassing. South Korea like, sorry, can't hear you. Can't hear you. Sorry, what? you're breaking up sorry like you genuinely are I'm not doing a bit you are breaking up because your electricity sucks who did you say was shit who's shit so this continued until
Starting point is 00:20:38 2018 when they were dismantled ahead of historic meetings between the countries two leaders but before that for, they were just sassing each other, talking about the sass twins. It's like splitting them up, putting the deans in between each other and you guys just go on forward. God, you never want that. I hope we never come to that mat. I hope that never happens for us. Fingers crossed.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Yeah. I hope we never have this little buffer in between and we just yell at each other. I hope that never happens. Well, it's about to get a little bit sexy here because the 1980s kicked off what is known as the flag war. I told you I'd mentioned the flag. To me, it's like South Korea wins this war by so much. I think the North Korean flag is fine, but the South Korean flag kicks
Starting point is 00:21:26 its ass. Wow. Yeah, but they are actually going to physically get these flags to fight. Oh, okay. So like wrestlers donned in each flag. No, no, no, just going to put the flags next to each other, let the wind do its thing. So depending on which way the wind blows we'll figure out the winner. That's right, because the wind is always in favor of the winner. Oh, that's why it's called the wind. Exactly. Shortfall. That's the old old time word for one was wind. You wind this one again, but now that's obviously over time I've changed it one. Yeah, it's funny how language evolves, isn't it? Oh, wow, it's so interesting. It's so fluid.
Starting point is 00:22:06 It's beautiful. Yeah, it is so beautiful. So the flag war kicked off when South Korea, the South Korean government built a 321 foot or 97 meter tall flag pole in its border village of Desong Dong, which is right on the border, and you could see that from in North Korea. South Korea put up a great flag. And if you're going to do that, what do you think the North are going to do? They responded by building a 525 foot or 160 meter tall flag pole in its border town.
Starting point is 00:22:35 The pole. I'm loving this. The pole flies a 270 kilo or nearly 600 pound North Korean flag, which is the fourth largest anywhere in the world. Whoa, what are the other three? There was one in Saudi Arabia, I can't remember the other two. That's insane. You had to at night, I was going to ask. That's wild. So they're just putting up flags at each other at this point. Might speak other than you. Far out.
Starting point is 00:23:06 But I'm sad to say it's not all just insults and stupid one-upmanship along the border. A sporadic outbreaks of violence along and within the DMZ killed an estimated 500 South Korean soldiers, 50 US soldiers, and 250 soldiers from North Korea in the DMZ or along the border between 1953 and 1999. So every now and then, a bit of violence kicks off and a couple of people sadly would be killed. That's awful. I liked it when they were just being petty. I know. I thought I'd include that because it's
Starting point is 00:23:35 funny and silly. Probably the most famous and definitely the most ridiculous of those incidents occurred in 1976. In a place in the DMZ called the JSA, the Joint Security Area. I'm giving you two many initialisms here. The DMZ, Demilatrizone, JSA, Joint Security Area. Do they have a JTA there? Yeah, at any one time. It's stopped.
Starting point is 00:24:00 You're ready to get it. This from last week, Jess is looking at me bike. That was last week's the Getaway cars. The horse cars cool. The GTA. The GTA. Short for Get 2 and away from the vehicle or something. Real catchy like that.
Starting point is 00:24:16 I'm one of them demanded to call it. Where's the van? I don't know what you're talking about. Use its name. So about to be listed. So the JSA, the joint security area, is a meeting point within the DMZ where negotiations take place. In 2018, the North Korean leader Kim Jong-un and US President Donald Trump met in the JSA. I'm not sure if you saw that was a big headline at the time.
Starting point is 00:24:45 This is how recent it was. So yeah, I haven't got my head around that. Yeah, and it's still used. So the joint security area, the JSA, is an almost circular patch of land with an 800 meter diameter, split by a line that indicates one half belongs to the north
Starting point is 00:25:01 and the other half the south. And despite the bitter standoff and the obvious hatred for the other side, during the 70s both sides were able to pretty freely wander around the JSA. This meant North Koreans, South Koreans and US guards would mingle together. Okay. There were however strict limits of 30 armed and listed personnel and five armed officers at any one time in the JSA. So you'll have to have soldiers in there, but most of them wandered around unarmed. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:30 This is weird. So it was Hawkeye, any of these, that crew in there? Hawkeye or... Can't think of any of the other names. Klinger. Go with glasses. Klinger. Frank. God, Frank.
Starting point is 00:25:43 He was a pain in the ass. Oh, Frank. BJ, he was great. Buzz. Love Lace. Love Face. Happy with B.A. Baruches. I'm also thinking, sorry, I signed out for a second there because I was thinking about GTAV because do they mean Grand Theft Auto? What year was it again? Yeah, it was 2004. So Grand Theft Auto 5 was not out yet. No, San Andreas was the big one at the time. I was in year 8 and it was such a big game.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Holy crap. I reckon that's probably what it was. That's what I've been thinking about for the last few minutes. Oh no. Well, I've got to say, do you know what the JSA is? No. That's really important for this story. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:22 Okay. Sorry. So it's the joint security area. That's right. But why do they just mingling there? Well, basically, anytime they want to have negotiations or swap prisoners, they used to do that at the JSA. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:36 So one bit, and in the 70s, there's no longer like this, but in the 70s, they could mingle together. So even though there's a line down the middle, the South and North Koreans can wander around this 800. It's like a like a large oval size area. But there's obviously a limit on how many can be armed. I heard that. Yeah, there's a limit on how many can be armed. Basically so all that war doesn't kick off at any one time. Yes, yeah, yeah, okay. Great. So sorry. I can't wait to find out how to golly. I think somebody's like, guys, can you see what I'm mind if I just use this little patch of the oval to play it some little bit of the genius?
Starting point is 00:27:08 Man, I hope, I wish I could tell you that it was over like a veggie patch or something. Oh, I'd love that. They decide to put a communal garden there and then people just get very competitive. Yeah, this healthcare is like, we don't like tomato, what are you doing? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:21 Why are you growing tomato? I'm gonna get a tomato plant today, but we're talking of side tracks. Perfect time. I'm not done. Let's go some tomato, little cherry tree. I've got a little lemon tree. We can swap.
Starting point is 00:27:34 Oh, Grail. Come, kiss on it. Please. Come, kiss on my balcony with a... You come, kiss on my tomato plant. I'll come, kiss on your lemon tree. It's a bouncing intersection right outside my house, so everyone can see you taking a slash on my tomato plant. I'll come, piece on lemon tree. It's a massive intersection right outside my house. So everyone can see you taking a slash
Starting point is 00:27:48 on the lemon tree. It's beautiful. Actually, I don't know if piss is good for tomato. Do you mind taking a shit on my tomato plant? I can take a shit on your tomato plant. If you piss on my lemon tree, deal. You can do. Deal.
Starting point is 00:28:01 So Dave, please continue. So the JSA? Yes, which I know what it is now, I'm so sorry. In charge of many of the US troops stationed there was the popular captain Arthur Boniface. Oh great, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right
Starting point is 00:28:19 right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, Jess, well done! Oh, God, she's good. She's on fire today. Yes! She's still talking about the GTOV.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Yeah, a little bit. Well, Bill Ferguson, who was an 18-year-old officer stationed there in 1976, later recalled to the BBC, quote, "'Captain Boniface really wanted us to enforce the terms of the armistice. We were encouraged to intimidate the North Koreans into allowing the full freedom of movement
Starting point is 00:28:45 within the JSA." At the time, US soldiers were only allowed to serve in the JSA if they were over 6 feet or 183 centimetres tall. So they had to be intimidating looking? Yeah, if they couldn't openly carry large weapons, which is one of the rules, the US still wanted to intimidate their enemy with the soldiers sheer size. How weird is that? You had to have six-pack minimum, chiseled jaw.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Like everyone looks like Rambo. Basically. Kind of guns, but you need your arms to be classified as we've been working on. The North Koreans are like, are objecting, that man has definitely got a couple of guns. Well, the two sides did not like each other. And occasionally violent scuffles would break out in the JSA.
Starting point is 00:29:33 A US guard had his arm broken by North Korean soldiers when he accidentally drove his Jeep behind their main building. He barked in the wrong spot and they broke his arm. Oh no. Well now I understand why someone gardening in the wrong patch is going to create some friction. This is going to be petty I feel. I think this is going to be petty. Oh, so petty.
Starting point is 00:29:56 I hope it's like it like one of those coronafares shows the neighbours from hell. Their tree is just like growing a little bit over the lawn. I'm like, I told you for the last time, trim your fucking watch. Is this North Korea's worst gardener? And then the North Koreans are hosting them over the fence. And dumping their dog shit over the fence.
Starting point is 00:30:18 And reporter Ben Ford is like, I'm just trying to talk, man, I'm just trying to say hi. I'm just trying to say hi. Just trying to get your side of the story. Yeah, it was for dinner. I'm trying to get yours out of the story Get off my property art mate. I'm on the pavement here. This is this is public property. I'm a ladder bit here Have you used these for your Friday funny? I've been to current affairs staff. I would probably be too often that would just be free advertising the yogurt Yeah, no, we don't advertise the channel.
Starting point is 00:30:45 Even though that is a quality show. I'm sure it was bringing this up because once my friend Nick told me that his favorite episode of it, current affair was on the episode called on killer driveways. Oh my God. It's so funny. The rest of the world must have shows like this. They'd have some version of that. We, the Karen Affair sort of,
Starting point is 00:31:09 just trashy journalism, where they take petty squabbles from the suburbs and they put them on the big screen. No, they don't turn them into films. They put them on the little screen. Just depends on how big your TV is. That's really up to you. Well, it is honestly, it is quite petty there.
Starting point is 00:31:29 As you're about to hear here, US lieutenant David Mad Dog, Zilka. Yes. He encouraged his men to go out on patrol carrying big sticks to bang on the walls and the windows of the North Korean barracks and to use as weapons if need be. So they're just, they're waking them up, banging them on the walls and the windows of the North Korean barracks and to use as weapons if need be. So they're just sticks.
Starting point is 00:31:46 They're waking them up, banging them on the window, being just being annoying. I'm imagining that you know sometimes you go to the park and you see a dog that's found a very large stick and the dog looks very happy with itself and it's like running along and the stick is so too way too wide for this small dog but it's just so happy. That's when I picked me. them just with happy big shoes. So they were carrying them in their mouths, absolutely. It'd be like, on the Halloween episode of The Simpsons where Kodos becomes the president because, or there's peace on earth, they get rid of all the weapons and then they are
Starting point is 00:32:22 able to take over with like a a plank of wood with a Again in the great BBC article by Toby Luckhurst that I'll link to in the description along with all the other sources here US soldier Mike Bilbo claimed that mad dog Zilka would take us out on these clandestine patrols Once or twice we caught a North Korean where they weren't supposed to be and we kind of beat him up a little bit, not too bad. A little bit. So there is little bits of violence here. Just break his toe, you know. You can't do much about that. You just gotta let it heal, you know. And I've heard a lot of the time. You can't really, you can't put it in a cast, can you? Can I sit, doesn't do that much. You just have to wait, whether you're... Just annoying. That's how we get them. Annoying injuries.
Starting point is 00:33:07 Isn't that weird? It's like, isn't that just gonna make them upset and try to do the same back? How about one of the careers be the bigger career and leave the other career alone? And then that other career will, you know, and then peace out. Didn't really think to...
Starting point is 00:33:24 Get me in there. I want to get me in the jail so I can fix this. You know how Matt would do it by just like seeing and hashing it out, you know how I'd do it? Baking. Oh, that's good. I'd be like, I made cupcakes. I'd be that person.
Starting point is 00:33:36 And then like at first they'd be like, fuck you because they'd think it's gonna be like laced with something, but then one day one of them will try and be like, holy shit, this is delightful. this is delight. And then yeah. I love the idea. So you go in through the door with some ingredients. You come out an hour or so later and you just nod to us like and they're like, my god, she's done it. She's done it again. And then I'm just buying accessories so I can do better frosting designs. I like this is important. This is for peace.
Starting point is 00:34:10 I'm baking for peace right now. I try the same thing but I'm so bad at cooking I would accidentally poison them. They would kick off the wall. I tried. I really tried. I really tried. So I've read that this soldier's treated it as a bit of a back and forth game, but it often got out of hand.
Starting point is 00:34:28 US soldier William Henderson got into a fight after a North Korean soldier ruffled his hair, and he attacked him. That is a bit patronizing, but I don't think it's worth it. Have it a brawl over. Well, the US soldier was injured in the ensuing violence and suffered a severe injury to his
Starting point is 00:34:45 larynx. So he was quite injured. Ooh. So, often, it would get out of hand. Yeah. Captain Boniface, who I mentioned before, wrote of the incident in a letter to his wife, Marsha. He said, our mission here is to take the verbal abuse, kicking and shoving, but to not let it go any further.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Major Henderson lost his cool and blew it. It's a natural reaction, but he should have known better. So that's the game that he's playing. And he got injured in the larynx. Yeah. Okay. Larynx. What is it?
Starting point is 00:35:18 That's your voice box around that kind of area. And is your voice box? It's commonly called the voice box. It's an organ in the top of the neck involving, involving breathing, producing sound and protecting the trature. I think the trature. I say trature, but yeah, you know, I think the lowings also houses the vocal chords and manipulates pitch volume which are essential for for nation. Would you agree, Matt? Yeah, and I was thinking that, thanks for writing that in there.
Starting point is 00:35:52 But the word language, you know, certainly comes from a similar ancient Greek word. Don't ask me what it is though. So yeah, because I want to tell you. For the help of your report, Dave. Yeah, I mean, obviously we warned at the start of the episode about the Sass twins and then they've come in and Absolutely dominated there We're coming hot
Starting point is 00:36:16 So despite the armistice being reached 23 years earlier at this point, it was all still very hostile It was tense in the JSA and the tension was only building. It was like a powder keg ready to explode. I hate tension too. I don't think I'd like to be there. I'm not a tension fan. Love breaking tension. With humour. Or fwatch your lips. Or an anithema in my book. Yeah, not in maths, but it still works for breaking tension.
Starting point is 00:36:47 Breaking wind, which is the old term for... Breaking tension. I must say though, breaking wind is not a good solution for breaking sexual tension. Unless you want to get rude, unless you absolutely don't want there to be any... Absolutely rude sexual tension, right? But if you're wanting to like break the sexual tension in a sexy way, don't fart. I've learned that the hard way. And I'm using my platform to educate others. Don't y'all peoples y'all?
Starting point is 00:37:19 Yes, because I think there's definitely a subsection of humanity out there who would just be absolutely well I am yet to find that dream man. Jesus I hate the phrase yuck your yum. It's fun to say. Yeah it's bad to hear. Yeah it's bad to hear. Sorry Dave. Well I keep quietly saying my head all, just sit out for a bit.
Starting point is 00:37:45 I'm not doing very briefly. But this time it's for real, I was going to stick, I'm giving myself, I'm only going to say things on topic from now on. Well, I'm trying to say that it's very, very tense in the JSA, but I promised you gardening and garden we shall. Yes. Inside the joint security area on either side, there's all these checkpoints and observation posts so they can keep an eye on what the opposition is doing. Inside the JSA is also the so-called bridge of no return. What the fuck are you talking about? That's cool.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Yeah, in my mind, it's sort of like a bridge and there's a bottom was pit underneath it or something. I'm imagining it goes into a waterfall and you don't know what's on the other side of that. Well, starting at the end of the war until the late 70s, the bridge was used for prisoner exchanges. It's called the bridge of no return because before crossing, the prisoners were given an ultimatum. They could stay in the country where they'd been captured or return home to their own country. But once they crossed, they could never come back, even if they changed their mainland.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Why would you want to go back to the place you'd been captured for? Well, I think it was more of a... I wouldn't you want to go home? No, I think it was more often than the night people would probably end up staying in South Korea. I don't think many people ended up staying in the North. Gotcha, I can't remember. I love the ideas of the people in the North have the same spillo. You better be sure about this. Yes. Yeah. No, I am. So you just take a
Starting point is 00:39:12 few times. I need to say 100% you want to go back knowing that you can't return once again. Yes. No. I think once again, you went a bit too quick. Could you just take a quick course? Yep. Yep. Okay. Okay. If you're going to go, which is fine, top to you, but if you do, you cannot come back. Yes, that is what I would like to do. Yes. Really, even after that pause to think. We've got a booming movie industry over here. Got some sort of Godzilla thing going on. I mean, I was literally taken from my wife and children. I would like to go back, please.
Starting point is 00:39:51 Okay. Go down the line. It was like a thousand people waiting. You don't need to get through six a day. Are you sure? Are you sure? No, but are you? Do you feel like you can't say you want to stay here because you can? Yeah, I mean, you want to stay like you can't say you want to stay here because you can? Yeah, I mean, if you want to stay, you can. We won't tell your wife, we won't tell her that you made this choice. No, she won't know, but you can stay here. Right, I did sort of forget about it the other way around. That doesn't make sense to people.
Starting point is 00:40:20 If I could stay in South Korea, that'd be good. Thank you. Yeah, I imagine that a lot more stayed. But next to the bridge of No Return was a tree of No Return. A tree of No Return. You climb that tree, you live in that tree. It's just like a community of people living in this tree. It's been going with the weight of like a hundred people.
Starting point is 00:40:51 So all thought they could best the tree. The entire Swiss family Robinson, I just trapped on the tree. What's so special about this tree day? Well, it was a 100 foot or 30 meter tall puplar tree. The branches of the tree blocked the line of sight between a United Nations Command checkpoint and an observation post. So in summer when the tree was in full bloom it created a blind spot that the North Koreans could potentially exploit. So there's all these guard towers and basically they want to have view of 100% of the JSA to so nothing can happen without them either. Seeing it, taking photos on videoing it. But this tree, when it fully blooms in summer, it blocks out one of their checkpoints, so they can't see what's happening down there. So the tree was technically inside the South Korean territory, so a team of US and South Korean men were ordered to prune it back. So they could get the line of side back.
Starting point is 00:41:45 Yeah. On the first attempt, North Korea objected claiming that any landscaping work required permission from both parties. It's the, the, the veggie patch all over again. Yeah. So they've thwarted the first time, but they planned to have another crack anyway, but then they were stopped by heavy rain. Which is what the North Koreans call heavy sun.
Starting point is 00:42:04 Yes. That's what it's for. That's what it's for. God, a sunny day out today, isn't it? Wow, so sunny. So on August 18th, 1976, United Nations Command and South Korean personnel were again sent to trim the poplar tree, third time lucky. Among the 11 men sent out, the aforementioned
Starting point is 00:42:22 Captain Arthur Boniface, who was in his early 30s and who had only three more days in Korea before being sent home to his family. So three days away from retirement. That hat was three days from retirement. Also sent out was Palatine leader, 25-year-old first lieutenant Mark Barrett, who on the other hand had only been in Korea for about a month. They started to prune the tree when North Korean soldiers approached, led by Pak Chul, a notorious North Korean lieutenant nicknamed Captain Bulldog.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Oh, great nickname. Yeah, dream nickname. And he did not start that one himself. Okay, cobra. Oh, come on. Can you call me Captain Cobra? Oh, that's so good. That sounds like a great nickname for someone else.
Starting point is 00:43:16 Come on, I've earned it. I've earned it. In what way? I've just been a bad ass like Pactual. So he was, yeah, the most notorious leader on the other side, like a real, he was, Arthur Bonifest was wanting to enforce the rules on his side. Pactual was the one on the other side doing the exact same thing. Been a real bad ass.
Starting point is 00:43:35 And you see yourself as a real bad ass. Uh, yes. Okay. Okay. Do you guys see that? Uh, be honest. Oh, no. Oh, God, no.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Oh, sorry. I'm going to give you some time to think about that. Oh, Dave. Do you have so many. Do you want to stay in the police? So many great calls. You are so good at so many things. Honestly. And just adore you. Just treasure you. Wow, thank you. This is so nice. So sure that anyone could beat you in a fight. Hahaha. Anyone.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Even if you're at a big city. I know toddlers, I know toddlers that could give you a run for them. I love the idea that when the captains, the other Koreans, being sent home, are asked if they want to stay, they have to butter the officer and be like, look North Korean officer, you have many great qualities, but I don't want to stay good. I don't want to stay good in that uniform. It's really one of that new annual country.
Starting point is 00:44:35 I don't want to stay here. I don't want to stay here. This is going to, honestly, you're the only thing that makes me hesitate, but then I don't hesitate. And I, I want to go. I want to go back. So thank you. Fine, I'm not Captain Cobra, I get it, whatever. I'll work my way out. Yeah, you get there. Officer Cobra, do you think you? So Captain Bulldog, Pactuals turned up, notorious North Korean lieutenant. Pack and his team watched in silence as the group, on the other side carried out their tree work for 15 minutes
Starting point is 00:45:09 before suddenly ordering them to stop. Captain Boniface ignored Pact. Even when the threat started to come, Pactual said, the branches are cut will be of no use, just as you will be after you die. Ooh, great, great track to talk. That's great track to talk. He's saying, just as you will be after you die. Ooh, great, great, great, great, great talk. That's great, trash talk.
Starting point is 00:45:26 He's saying even as compost, you've got no nutritional value to the earth. Yeah. That's right. But this is the kind of revider that was thrown around all day long in the JSA. Why would Boniface listen now? They were constantly threatening each other. Mm. With death.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Yeah, totally. Some of them... You'll be useless when your dead is like the dumbest. The dumbest insult. Who's useful? Matt literally came up with the only one. That's like worm food. Oh, I think Operation Mint's meat would disagree.
Starting point is 00:45:58 Oh, yes! One of my reports. Okay, Dave, do go on. Some of the North Korean soldiers? Dave, do go on. Some of the North Korean soldiers reportedly believed that their leader, the Dictator Kim Il Sung, had quite personally planted the poplar
Starting point is 00:46:13 and nourished it, and it's growing under his own supervision. He actually nourished it with his own breast milk. I'm really happy. Like, he let that little sapling supple at his teeth. May I use the right terminology there? Supple? Suckle.
Starting point is 00:46:30 I knew it was a quarrel, it is supple. I think you're right. Let that sapling supple at his teeth. So that apparently some of them believe that their leader had planted this dream stuff. This is after all the country that reported his son, Kim Jong Il, scored as many as 11 hole in ones the first time he ever played golf.
Starting point is 00:46:50 And he only played nine rounds. That is pretty amazing. So. So they think that this tree has been planted by their leader. Have they ever seen him come down and just water it? Oh, absolutely not. Yeah. I mean, he's not going anywhere near the area. Exactly. Because it's probably not safe for him to do so. No, it's not. So we'll take it with a large green salt, or I can. No, I just think he didn't do that.
Starting point is 00:47:20 I don't think he didn't plant that tree. That's what I reckon. I think so too, but I think it's one of those things where before before, Pact took his men out, he's like, they're going to cut down that tree. Do you want to know who planted that tree? Our fearless leader to try and rev them up a bit. Yeah. But anyone can plant a tree, you know? Like anyone can be a father, but not everyone is a dad.
Starting point is 00:47:41 You know what I mean? Yeah, not everyone can breastfeed their child. Thank you. I just watched Guardians of the Galaxy. And that is in that. To the host, you know. Yes, that is so lame. Yeah, it's very lame.
Starting point is 00:47:55 It's an action movie. Of course, it's lame. Does David Pateaster say that? Yes. I don't reckon he would. I'm not. No. Is it the first one or the second one. It's when the dad is actually a planet
Starting point is 00:48:09 Yes, the dad is a planet. What are you talking about? I'm cool actor. I forget who but Kurt Russell. What a man. He is cool. He's very cool. God damn And then a guy who actually raised Peter Quill said something really lame like Like you know, he was your father, but I'm your daddy. Oh, he said I'm your daddy. I'm your daddy. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, even if, even if he did plant this tree, did he tend to it? Did he make sure it was okay in all weather? Did he check it for fungal gnats? Did he treat it for fungal gnats? I have fungal
Starting point is 00:48:46 gnats in a couple of my plants at the moment. It's on the brain. There's gnats in my brain. You know, so it's like, if he's just abandoned this tree, it's no longer his tree. You know, I absolutely agree. But they do not, Jess. They do not. I would say this, Jess, surely at some point you've just got to let the tree you know, leave home and grow up and fend for itself otherwise. Exactly. And this is a fully grown tree. You've moved out of home. Are your parents not still your parents? No. To share. What? Is that an option? Yeah, you can still call on that. Oh my God! I've just been calling them my elderly friends. Oh, cool. Parents. I've got parents, everyone.
Starting point is 00:49:35 Wow. Sorry to break. I've got parents. So, after being ignored, the Bulldog PAC sent for reinforcements and nearly 30 North Korean soldiers soon appeared at the tree. PAC again told him to stop cutting, but again, Captain Boniface wasn't going to be intimidated. Boniface turned his back on the North Koreans and they went back to pruning. Quoting from a great article in the Atlantic by Yuri Friedman here, describing what happened after Boniface turned his back on the North Korean reinforcements. Boniface, quote, did not see Lieutenant Pack remove
Starting point is 00:50:11 his watch, wrap it in a handkerchief, stick it into the pocket of his trousers. John Singlaub, the then chief of staff at the US forces Korea later wrote. Nor did he see the other North Korean officer rolling up the sleeves of his jacket. An American non-commissioned officer strode forward to warn Captain Boniface. At that moment, Lieutenant Pax screamed, kill! I've also read he yelled, kill the bastards. Whoa. And I'm not sure why he took his watch, put in a hangateef in his pocket. I guess to make sure it didn't get damaged in the fight. But... Sure, we'll get damaged in your pocket. Yeah. If you get thrown around.
Starting point is 00:50:47 Yeah, it was protected by a hanker chief. Oh, yeah, no, that's fine then. Hanker chief is obviously notoriously very strong. It's like a little airbag in your pocket. So he yelled kill or kill the bastards, either way. The North Koreans attacked, not with guns, but with crowbars, clubs, and axes that they'd picked up from the ground left by the men cutting the tree. Because remember, not many people have guns in this area,
Starting point is 00:51:08 so they use other weapons. Captain Boniface was pushed to the ground, and the men's leader was bludgeoned to death in front of his other men. What the fuck? Yeah, they just clubbed him. Awful, awful stuff. Meanwhile, the other high- high ranking officer of the group,
Starting point is 00:51:25 first lieutenant Mark Barrett, jumped over a low wall and landed in a deep tree field depression, a little hole in the earth. The depression was not visible from the road because of the dense grass and small trees. The whole incident only lasted 20 to 30 seconds and not a single shot was fired. And you might be wondering why the United Nations
Starting point is 00:51:45 Command didn't retaliate, especially with their guns. And that's because soldiers were given strict orders that they could only fire their 45 pistols if they were being directly shot at or their lives were in direct danger or if firing would save someone else's life. If their comrades had already been killed, it was too late to engage the assailant. That was a strict rule. Wow. They also had to wait for orders to shoot, and the man who would give that order had just been quickly beaten to death.
Starting point is 00:52:11 Wow. So they didn't draw their guns. As UNC forces dispersed the North Korean soldiers, they were able to place Boniface's body in the truck. But first Lieutenant Barrett was nowhere to be seen. That's the guy that jumped over the wall into the ditch. The UN forces however did observe some North Korean guards acting very strangely hanging about
Starting point is 00:52:33 and then walking into a ditch near the tree. When it was realized that Barrett was still missing a search and rescue squad was quickly dispatched and found that Barrett had been attacked in the ditch with an axe by the North Koreans. By multiple North Koreans. It's really very, very violent. Oh my God. He was recovered but died from his injuries on the way to the hospital. So two soldiers from the US have been murdered. Over a tree. Over a tree. Yeah. And that's why it's called the axe incident because he was killed with an axe. Whoa. And shit was ready to hit the fan.
Starting point is 00:53:08 Sirens went off throughout the DMZ and troops were put on high alert. Word of the attack quickly reached military leaders on both sides. On the North Korean side, there were quick to paint the event as being down to US aggression. Their media report on the day of the event stated, quote, at around 10.45 AM today, the American imperialist aggressors sent in 14 hoodlums with axes into the JSA to cut the trees on their own accord, although such a work should have mutually been consented to beforehand. Four persons from our side went to the spot to warn them not to continue the work without our consent. Against the Appis Wagen, they attacked our guards on mass and committed a serious provocative act of beating our men, wielding murderous weapons, and depending on the fact that they
Starting point is 00:53:52 are numbered us. Our guards could not but resort to self-defense measures under the circumstances of this reckless provocation. So they said that the US started it all, but it will say that there is video and photos of the event, and that is not true How's their video on photos? because people From the phone's out. Yeah, yeah, they um from the
Starting point is 00:54:16 What not checkpoint the watchtowers they are heads of balance of them right I'm gonna talk photos. Yeah, someone took a few roles cameras of photos of the event. You can't say everything, but you can definitely say who starts it. Uh, Kim Jong-il, the son of the then leader Kim Il-sun, described the event to other leaders in Sri Lanka where he happened to be as being an unprovoked attack led by American officers. So they very much painted it as if the US started it. So that's one side. Over in Washington, President Gerald Ford and Secretary of State Henry Kissinger were also analyzing the event and planning their
Starting point is 00:54:51 next move. Kissinger, of course, famous for winning the Nobel Prize in 1973, but also probably more famous for dropping his glasses in a toilet that were later found byes Simpson. Hi, Homer. Do you like football? Do you like not-chose? Well, why don't you come over and have not-chose while we watch football? I've been a love Gerald Ford. That's all I really know about him. Do you remember the bit on the Simpsons with Henry Kissinger? I don't think so. I remember Pixar, he's glasses, and I was toilet. And then he starts talking about triangles. And the guy's like, that's a right triangle, you idiot! Do you remember that band? No. Oh, it's so good. And then he can't be kissing just speaking to Mr. Burns in his office.
Starting point is 00:55:32 And then, and it's me, this is like, thanks Mr. Kissinger. I hope your glasses will turn up. And he goes, yes, I'm sure they will. And then it jumps into his mind. And it says, he's speaking to himself, yes. And then he says, I'm sure they will. And then it jumps into his mind. And it says, he's like, thanks, Mr. Kissinger. I hope your glasses will turn up and he goes, yes, I'm sure they will. And then it jumps into his mind and it says,
Starting point is 00:55:48 he's speaking to himself, yes, no one must know that I, the man who drafted the Paris Accord lost his glasses in a toilet. That's so silly. Ha ha ha ha ha. Kissinger, that man, who would later lose his glasses, called for an attack on the North Korean barracks to ensure a, quote, high probability
Starting point is 00:56:06 of getting the people who did this. They've killed two Americans, and if we do nothing, they will do it again, he told a briefing. We have to do something. So he was looking for blood, proper retaliation. Within hours of the attack, Kissinger was also asking whether there were North Korean fishing boats that the United States could, quote, shoot up or capture.
Starting point is 00:56:27 So he just wanted some sort of revenge. Probably fortunately Kissinger was overruled, but everyone in the US agreed on one thing. The tree had to go. He was decided that they wanted to show strength against North Korea. It's all about bravado and not losing face in that part of the world. But at the same time, they didn't want to further escalate events. But they do want to cut down the tree. Yeah, I do take it out on the tree.
Starting point is 00:56:52 These are beautiful big trees as well. Beautiful. I've just remembered where there's a, well, there used to be a cafe or a restaurant in Bright where I visit a lot. We got family out there in Country Victoria. and there's a restaurant called Poplar's and that's because there's a lot of Poplar trees in the area. They're just big tall trees and they in the autumn they go this cool yellow color what the leaves do. It's one of those classic autumn or terminal trees. There you go. Beautiful. And he never knew that that's why we're called that.
Starting point is 00:57:23 Yeah, no, I never connected that. Beautiful. And he never knew that that's why we're called. Yeah, no, I never connected that. Yeah. Amazing. Well, if you've learnt nothing else here today, I've learnt what poplars is named after. A restaurant that may or may not still exist. Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long-term solution. And that's what makes NUME different. NUME uses science and personalization to help you manage your weight for the long term. Their psychology-based approach helps you build better habits and behaviors that are easier to maintain.
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Starting point is 00:59:32 Right now, you can get the Super Glow Body Set valued at $126 for only $79 when you use code gift at ocamalibu.com. That's code gift at osbamalibu.com. the US also raised defense readiness levels to DEF CON3. Ooh, I love that phrase. And the higher it goes, the more DEF CON it becomes. That's right. It's actually the opposite. What does DEF CON mean? So DEF CON means defense readiness condition and it's That's right. It's actually the opposite. What does Defcon mean? So Defcon means defense readiness condition and is graded from one to five.
Starting point is 01:00:11 Five being most relaxed, one being actual nuclear war. Oh, I always thought like Defcon five was bad, but five is like everyone's chill. We're only a Defcon for that. I never heard of it. And this is actually the first time that had gone to DEF CON3 since the arm, in that area of the world, since the armistice in 1953. So it was a big step all over this fucking tree. God, that's ridiculous.
Starting point is 01:00:33 But honestly, don't even text me about a DEF CON5 in the middle of the night. I don't want to wake up, look at my phone, be like, are you fucking dead? You couldn't just told me in the morning, DEF CON5. I don't care. Here I was this whole time thinking that was serious. We got to DEF CONFIR. That's actually great. Awesome. If I've learned anything today, it's the order of DEF CONF.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Thank you, Dave. What about that popular restaurant in Bright? Was that? How dare you. I was not listening. Oh no. The SaaS twins have turned on themselves. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we have to, we have to maintain, okay?
Starting point is 01:01:08 We are not the enemy, Davies. I'm just looking up Defcon 5 here just to, I was just double checking, I hadn't factored up and I haven't, because according to airspacemag.com, apparently screenwriters often get the scale wrong, so that's probably why you're thinking that, Jess. So yeah, number one is imminent war or actual nuclear war. Number five is peace time. So when they say Defcon 5, that's great. So it's like, it's Defcon 5 now.
Starting point is 01:01:33 Yeah. Probably depending on where you are. Yes. In Australia, we're at five. I was even talking even smaller in my house. Everything's fine here. Sorry to brag. Everything's all good. I wanted to Defcon 3 years in my bathroom after that burrito at last night, let me tell you. I love watching Matt in those moments,
Starting point is 01:01:52 because he laughs, but he also hates it. He's like, oh no. He's like, I hate these fuckers that I work here. I mean, I said, I did ask you to shit on my tree before. But if I'm in control of it, it's, I'm okay. But when other people are doing it, in control of the shit or the joke. The shit talk.
Starting point is 01:02:10 Oh, right. I was gonna say, because you are not in control of just shitting on your tree. And was he? But he asked me to do it. All right, Jess, back it up, back it up. Bring it over.
Starting point is 01:02:20 I don't know if I'm gonna go to Matt's house and just be like, sorry, interrupt. I'm just, don't know if I'm gonna go to Matt's house and just be like, sorry, interrupt. I'm just, don't mind me. Just going to live in the tomato tree. Get these little buddy blossoms blooming. Yeah. Well, you got some tomatoes in your little mixed salad there. They from the tree?
Starting point is 01:02:42 You're welcome. You know, I'm just here to ruin dinner. Well, sorry, Defcon 3, which is medium, it's still not good. You don't want to get to Defcon 3. After three days of planning, a new operation was put into action. The plan was called Operation Paul Bunyan. Do you know who Paul Bunyan is? I think, no. I'm just gonna make a Paul Blatt mall cop. Yeah, it's the mall cop, isn't he? And I was like, just shut up, Jess. Just answer Dave's question.
Starting point is 01:03:10 She's trying to do a report. No, I don't know. I don't know who Paul Bunyan is. Paul Bunyan, mall cop, onion shop owner. Well, I also didn't really know, but he's named after Paul Bunyan, a giant lumpumberjack in folk hero in American and Canadian folklore. Oh.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Typically wears a big red Lumberjack and he's very big. He's a giant man. Someone's doing it with a blue box. I reckon you're definitely nailing while this guy's important to America and Canada. I was real big. I don't know. Any wears of Jacket. Well, when I looked it up, I was like,
Starting point is 01:03:45 oh, I recognize the image of it. If you look him up, you go, oh yeah. Just a classic looking sort of lumbajet. Yeah. And there's all these stories about him. And he's accompanied by Babe the Blue Ox. OK. Oh, yeah, OK.
Starting point is 01:03:59 So I'm sure they all know who he is. So that's why it's called Operation Paul Bunyan, because they're going to chop the fuck out of this tree. Okay, sure, that makes sense. So the plan was to cut down the tree, but to do so with a massive display of force. But they weren't exactly sure how the North Koreans would respond. It would need to be a delicate blend of showing force, but also not too much to kick off a full scale war.
Starting point is 01:04:21 It was a very precarious situation. This is how Korean historian Van Jackson describes the US attitude at the time. Quote, the idea was that if the North Koreans want to retaliate against the show of force, then we'll light them up. But otherwise, let's keep in mind a sense of proportionality. So they're prepared to, if they want to kick something off, we're not going to stop it. But yeah, we would prefer if they didn't. We'll fuck shit up, but we're not starting. Dinosaur, they're not feeling like they need to retaliate over the brutally murdered soldiers.
Starting point is 01:04:53 Well, that's the mindset of the leaders. The soldiers, on the other hand, two of theirs had been brutally beaten to death, so some of them wanted swift revenge. Right. But the leaders are trying to let cool heads prevail, but at the same time, not look like they're whussing out. Completely. To quote from the BBC again, this really shows the mindset of the Americans. Wayne Johnson was a 19-year-old US private with a second battalion 9th inventory, stationed at Camp Liberty Bell just outside the JSA. He drove his commanding officer
Starting point is 01:05:23 to a briefing the night before the tree-cutting operation. And Soror Luten and asked, what would happen to his unit? Quote, I watch the officer turn around with his piece of chalk and draw an X through our unit designation on the chalkboard. Then he turned back and said, any more questions? Wait, treasure? There's treasure here. Whoa. We should dig for treasure. What are we doing? What are we mucking around with this wall stuff? Let's get the treasure. So he's saying they would be taken out.
Starting point is 01:05:52 Yeah, he's basically saying, you're not coming back tomorrow, mate. Right. She's so brutal to say. Yeah. That will reckon that's the most brutal use of chalk I've ever heard of. Yeah. Since buddy Misave and grade four. I don't start about mis-savory. She's the one who told me Santa's not real.
Starting point is 01:06:11 Haven't forgiven her. Oh, I know. I know who mis-savory is. We don't say that. And she wrote it on the board in chalk. Santa is sad. Because they didn't have whiteboards back in those days. That's true. Did you just write the word Santa and then just put a big next to it and then turn to the crowd? Any questions? Oh, Dave, I love how much you and show business that it's last for my kids as a crowd to you. I know, fuck hell.
Starting point is 01:06:41 What a whankel. What a whankel. Dave, no. Dave, no. What a wine. What a wine. What a wine. Dave knows. What great self awareness. Yes. Yes, you are a wanker. In grace. So I said an email to some of my colleagues, okay, the crowd from work yesterday. Dave, you just go out there and be the best wanker you can be. Thank you. Thank you. That's the right attitude.
Starting point is 01:07:08 Another one of the company said, quote, we were prepared not to come back. It felt kind of surreal. We've been here since 1950 and it's all going to go down over this tree. End quote. So they were thinking it was a bit silly. As the United States dispatched an aircraft carrier to Korean waters and moved nuclear and conventional artillery and missiles to concrete bunkers, North Korea shifted to full combat readiness, conducted civilian air raid exercises, and evacuated top North Korean officials in Pyongyang to fortified tunnels. So they were both preparing
Starting point is 01:07:41 for full-scale war. And this is still DEF CON 3. DEF CON 3. DEF CON 3, sorry. But all that still is in 3. 2 is probably when shots are being fired or something, is it? Yeah, it gets worse. Yeah, if it actually shots with fire at number 2 and if once the nuclear war started,
Starting point is 01:07:59 you're at DEF CON 1, baby. And DEF CON 0 is when all life on Earth has been wiped out. You really don't want to get there. I keep saying DEF CON, but as DEF CON, isn't it? DEF CON. John Singlaub, the then chief of staff of the US forces in Korea, said, quote, it was my estimate, shared by many of the staff, that the operation stood at 50-50 chance of starting a war. In less than an hour, several hundred thousand men
Starting point is 01:08:29 might very well be fighting and dying in those steep blood-soaked mountains. If the murderous North Korean assault on our forces had been part of an elaborate plot to trigger an American military response, which in turn would provoke a North Korean invasion, we might be teetering on the brink of a holocaust. If North Korea unleashed a massive armoured assault against Seoul,
Starting point is 01:08:49 we would have no choice but to request authorization for the first use of nuclear weapons since World War II. But there was no backing down now. Shit. What the fuck? So they have in these full-scale meetings about how World War III basically is about to fucking kick off. Oh my God, Justin, I'm about you.
Starting point is 01:09:08 I'm nervous. It's what we're three about to kick off. I really thought I would have heard about this, but. But I mean, I'm pretty stupid. And I don't always read the newspaper. So I might have missed that. Right, so we could have missed World War Three. Yeah, were you reading the newspaper in 1976? Blade August? Yeah. I mean, I that. Right, so we could have missed World War Three. Yeah, were you reading the news paper in 1976?
Starting point is 01:09:25 Blade August? Yeah. I mean, I don't know, day. And I do remember the Simpsons that Hugh Grant rubbed in the home of that Britain-saved America's ass in World War Three. I do remember that. So.
Starting point is 01:09:38 Oh, that's true. Jeez. I noticed so in on the Patreon group, there's four listeners there. We have someone who audits our Simpsons references, and it had been quite last few weeks. I think I'm starting to over-correct today. LAUGHTER
Starting point is 01:09:53 Thank you, you've done a great job. Thanks so much. But now shut the fuck up, that's what it is. We'll do this. LAUGHTER Well Wayne Johnson, the teenager I mentioned earlier, who saw an ex on the chalkboard, was tasked with rigging the US side of the base with explosives.
Starting point is 01:10:09 So if North Koreans captured the building, they would just blow up the whole thing. They also secured the bridge of no return, hoping to stop North Korean reinforcements from entering the JSA. That bridge was also wired with explosives, and the massive gun of a tank was aimed at the bridge. Should the need arise to quickly destroy it. Just aimed at tank at it. Yeah. Here we go.
Starting point is 01:10:32 That should sort that. On August 21st, 1976 at 7am, three days after the killings, two eight men teams of engineers were driven to the tree by a truck. That's 16 people. Hold on, yes you're right, you are absolutely right. Yes. Are those... You're getting good at maths, you guys.
Starting point is 01:10:51 I reckon that... Have we improved your math level, Drifin? Yes. Thank you. Are these 16 men were armed with giant chain sores? And so I read that some of them had spent all night practicing how to use them. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:11:07 What is all right. You should probably just get someone that knows how to use a chain. I love the idea of a teen movie montage, you know, they're all in their PJs overnight in the same sorority room and they're practicing, chain story together, helping each other. Somebody, somebody sort of doesn't quite do it right and they cut off one of their friends' arms and for, like, they're looking at their arm, like, ha, ha, ha, but then they sort of all go. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, So it's so fun. So I should say 15 men were sent to the tree because one was left behind after losing limb back at the sorority camp.
Starting point is 01:11:47 Just like that. I'm a bit of a rounder number there. Yeah, my coat. Actually, 16 is my favourite number. 16 is my favourite number. You do a truck like you. So cute. And just so full of contradictions.
Starting point is 01:11:58 Yeah. Isn't that great? You're complicated. I love it. It's, I'm exciting. You know, never a dull day. It's I'm exciting. You know Never a dull day. I keep up with you. What's she gonna be mad about today? Who knows? Thrilling you might be wondering why they're using chain sauce
Starting point is 01:12:16 Well, it had been suggested that they take out the tree with heavier equipment for example, they could just blow it up But uh or just you know take it out with other they could just blow it up. But, or just, you know, take it out with other heavier equipment bulldoers, etc. But, officers feared it would be too difficult to speedily get them out of there if the North Koreans tried to intervene. So, to make evacuation a quick possibility, they cut it down by hand. Oh, like karate chopping it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It took six weeks. Five, that's still very good. That's still pretty good, right?
Starting point is 01:12:47 That's amazing. Well, the backup they had was as if they were already at war. These teams were accompanied by two 30-man security platoons from the Joint Security Force, who are armed with pistols and axe handles. They were also... axe handles. Ax handles, yeah. They love big sticks. Not axes. They were also a couple. Axe Handles. Yeah, they love big sticks.
Starting point is 01:13:07 Not axes. Just the handles of axes. Yeah, I think sort of they often wouldn't carry around that sort of club like things. That's okay. That's so fucking weird. They were also accompanied by a 64-man task force of the South Korean first special Force was brigade, basically their
Starting point is 01:13:25 commandos. And these guys were armed with clubs and were also trained in Taekwondo. So they could have been karate chopping the tree. Well, Taekwondo chopping. Yeah, okay. Fine. Yeah, okay. And as someone who got to Red Belt in Taekwondo. I feel like it could have been pretty helpful. So these men were also supposed to be unarmed. They're just using their lethal fists and clubs. However, once they parked their trucks near the bridge of no return, they started throwing out the sandbags that lined the truck bottoms and handing out M16 rifles and M79 grenade launches
Starting point is 01:14:02 that had been hidden in the truck. So they just wanted to look unarmed. Yeah, I thought that they were very heavily on the way in, you know, you get checked at the checkpoint. You're like, yeah, now I've got no guns, we're all good, you know, we're just, yeah, we're the, we're the, we're the type one-to-experts that are like, oh, of course, no, whereas you don't need weapons and then they just start pulling up rocket launches. Yeah, I just sort of figure when push comes to show I'm just going to club this guy to death. So, um, oh, yeah, great carry on like a like a careful of people going to a music festival. So you have a grog. No, no, no, no, no, don't check the spare tire. Check this. Don't open that watermelon. All that loaf of bread. Check the watermelon. It's got a grenade launcher inside. Well, that life of bread. Check the watermelon and it's got a grenade launchers.
Starting point is 01:14:44 But the spare tire is full of cans. Yeah, now that is definitely water in that bottle, not a pistol. Yeah. Not an AK-47. Several of the commanders also had M-18 claymore mines strapped to their chests and were holding the detonators in their hands. No. They were shouting at the North Koreans to cross the bridge, goading them.
Starting point is 01:15:10 And then what? They'd give them a hug and blow themselves up? I don't really know because the idea that I think the idea is that they're holding sort of dead man triggers, so if they get shot then they'll explode. But also, if you're nowhere near them it doesn't really matter. Yeah, if you shot them from any distance. You'll just blow up the guy next to you. Yeah, that's probably one of your teammates. I mean, I know a war is not a sport. Yeah, the war teammates are they. Everything to Dave is a show. Everything to me is a game.
Starting point is 01:15:42 Yeah, you'll blow up one of your fellow crowd members if you take one. One of your fellow ticket holders. Oh, no, not the punter next to me, aren't I? So, there were 20 utility helicopters and seven cobra or cobra attack helicopters circling behind them as they cut the trees. B-52 bombers flew overhead. It's also suspected that other planes carrying nuclear bombs were also flying above them. And in case it all did kick off 12,000 additional troops had been ordered to Korea.
Starting point is 01:16:17 So it's like a full-on war to cut down this tree. Far out. As the operation began, North Korean troops, approximately 200, arrived in buses and began setting up machine guns and assault rifles. They watched as the tree began to fall. The chainsaw cut through, or chainsaws cut through, each of the three main tree trunks of the tree,
Starting point is 01:16:38 and the US soldiers cheered as each of them hit the ground. And the North Koreans watching on did nothing. For 42 minutes, they watched on as the engineers cut down the tree. This was three minutes faster than the mission had been estimated to take. They purposefully, this is the US guys, left the six meter or 20-foot tall tree stump, and after their mission was over, the US and South Korean soldiers quickly withdrew. over, the US and South Korean soldiers quickly withdrew. So thankfully, full-scale war was avoided. But the incident did raise tension in the DMZ. Troops at Camp Liberty Bell, Liberty Bell. One, Liberty Bell. Two, Liberty Bells, Camp Art, Liberty Bell, and Cher, I mean, woo, what
Starting point is 01:17:20 really cherries. So Troops at Camp Liberty Bell and the JSA state on higher alert after the operation in case of retaliation, it was weeks before the men could return to their regular routine. Within hours of the tree being felt, North Korea's leader Kim All-Sung conveyed regret for the killing of Boniface and Barrett. He didn't fully apologize, but even this was seen as very unusual for the usually steadfast dictator. So the US felt that their display of force had achieved its intended effect. So even the dictator who now had a nice word to say about the side, even here was like, that shouldn't have happened. Almost an apology. I'm suspicious though. almost an apology. I'm suspicious though. The incident also changed the JSA for good. Within days, after several rounds of talks, North Korea removed its guard posts from the southern side of the joint
Starting point is 01:18:13 security area. And from that point on, the two sides have been separated by the military demarcation line that runs through the middle. And it's still like that to this day. So, instead of mingling now, there was a line down the middle and you can only look at each other. And they stand off face to face. Is that true? Or is it like that for long? People standing at the side of the line. It's pretty close. Yeah. Wow. No way. And it's like that to this day in April 2018, Kim Allsong's grandson and current North Korean leader Kim Jong-un made worldwide headlines when he stepped over the concrete dividing line to meet South Korean president Moon Jae-in. Amazingly, decades
Starting point is 01:18:51 earlier, Moon had been serving in the South Korean army and was involved in Operation Paul Bunyan. No. So that's pretty crazy. That's wild. So basically, if North Korea wanted to, they could have seen the cutting down of the tree. That could have, as far as the South knew, that could have kicked off a war and they just rolled the dice on it. Basically, absolutely right. Oh my God. It must have felt like a real anti-climax, that they were ready for war and the adrenaline's
Starting point is 01:19:22 pumping and then nothing happens and they just get to go back. You're going to want to the better anti-climaxes you could get though. Yes, I wouldn't be complaining, but I'd be very confused. That's why I was like, surely something's going to happen. But it just, just nothing did. No, thankfully war was avoided. Wow. Are the JSA also changed for the soldiers? Bill Ferguson, the 18-year-old who I mentioned at the start of the report, is quoted in the Atlantic. He said,
Starting point is 01:19:49 that joint security area wasn't anywhere near as fun as an exciting after the military demarcation line was poured. Things still have the potential to explode, but it was like riding the huge roller coaster at your favourite amusement park. Only to return and learn that the ride is closed, and you get stuck with the little kids rollercoaster. Ah, the giant drop, yeah. Beautiful analogy, yes. More in so many ways, like your favourite roller coaster.
Starting point is 01:20:16 Being closed for maintenance. And us? I know. As for the tree that nearly started nuclear war and possibly World War III, well today the stump has been removed and replaced by a small memorial to the slain soldiers Arthur Boniface and Mark Barrett. But the tree lives on.
Starting point is 01:20:34 US soldier Mike Bilbo recalls one day I went out and saw a couple of pieces off the branch. Everybody's got a piece of that damn tree. Wow. Oh that's interesting. It's the kind of tree that you can take a branch and plant it, or whatever. No, I think that everyone just took it like a souvenir piece of like,
Starting point is 01:20:50 Oh, dead wood. We risked our lives to cut down this tree. So we've all got a little souvenir and keeps saying. Because there are trees like, I remember when we moved as kids, my dad took a cutting off this big weeping willow in our backyard, or backyard or living in the country And he took it to our next place when we were kind of charlton and he
Starting point is 01:21:09 grew a second weeping willow in the backyard of our charlton house And I've been back there most still there. It's kind of cool That's awesome. Yeah, so it's weird. I don't understand how you can do that with some trees take a cutting and But I'm not a horticulturist. That's probably why. Not yet, but you're getting into my plan today. That's true. I'm shooting. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:33 Start saving up them poops. Yeah, I have to save them. I should say, I need just to do it because I don't poop. Gentlemen never poops. Yeah, but a lady sure does. A lady sh. Gentlemen, never poops. Yeah, but a lady sure does. A lady shits a gentleman, never poops. Well, with that note, that is the end of the North Korean, or the Korean axe murder incident.
Starting point is 01:21:55 A fascinating chapter. That is one of those stories, and they come up pretty regularly on this show where I'm like, how did I not know about that? Yeah, never heard of that. Yeah, and it's a wild and fascinating story. And you think that if, you know, are only a couple other little tiny things that have to change for it,
Starting point is 01:22:16 basically to change the course of human history from that point on. Yeah. Wow. Right. That is full on great work. Great work Dave. Thanks everybody.
Starting point is 01:22:26 Thanks everybody. About before, about jokes that people say, why didn't you say this joke? And we get a few messages like that every week. I don't know, I should say this to you off here. I'm going to guess one that comes up. I don't know what I'll tell you later. That's exciting.
Starting point is 01:22:41 I'm like, I'll beat you to someone says, what did you make this joke? Okay. Now you're inviting even more of us. Yeah, I'm inviting people says, what did you make this joke? Okay. Now you're inviting even more of us. Yeah, I'm inviting people to try and figure out what the joke is. Oh, no, that's true. Is that fun or not? Well, we just said we get a lot of those messages and now we're definitely going to get even more.
Starting point is 01:22:57 I'm up for encouraging it, whatever. Address them to me. All right. All right. I'm up for those people to start their own podcasts. And then I'll pickle from the sightlines. I'm up for those people to start their own podcasts. And then I'll heckle from the sidelines. Why don't you say this?
Starting point is 01:23:11 Well, that has nothing to do with anything. Well, you should have said. Do you mean you'll heckle from the crowd? Yes. Sorry, the sidelines, that's a map thing. I'll heckle from the dugout or whatever you say. I'll suckle from the, that's another thing again. I'll suckle from Kim Jong-un's teeth.
Starting point is 01:23:29 His suckle teeth. All right, well that brings us to everyone's favorite section in the show where we get to thank a few patrons and they get to give us a little bit of information in a section of the show. I like to call fact, quote or question with a jingle that goes a little something like this. I always remember the ding and other Simpsons reference. And the way to get involved in this is if you go to hatred or come such to go on pod or if you can follow the links via do go on pod.com and you Thanks for your do go on pod.com and you support us on the Sydney Sharnberg level or above. You can get involved and give us a factor, quite a question as well as a bunch of other
Starting point is 01:24:13 rewards on all sorts of levels. The two dollar level, you get to vote on a topic every three weeks and then there's levels up and up and as you go up, you get more things, shout out level then there's the level where you get three bonus episodes per month. So far, this month we've already done one, which was a quiz night, where I quizzed Dave and Jess, much like a pub trivia kind of quiz, where you can play along at home. A lot of fun that one. I really enjoyed it. Yeah, it's like an hour and a half quiz and episode. And then we do three rounds of good times. That's cool. Oh yeah, there was a lot of good times there. Brand of phrases. So what's the brand of phrase of film? We're going to come
Starting point is 01:24:54 out this month if anyone wants to watch it ahead of time. It's the one with something sweet hearts, but it's got Donald Sutherland. Donald Sutherland. One of the Sutherlands are in it, so I looked that up. It's the one that comes after 20 bucks or $20. Anyway, we're paying a lot of attention to the great work of Brett Nefraza. We're all just hanging out for the mommy. But honestly, we still have a good time even though we watch the films that aren't probably his most famous movie so far. I'm hanging out for George of the Jungle. That's got to be coming up soon. Watch out for that.
Starting point is 01:25:28 Next year, some time. So anyway, on the Sydney Shionberg level, we get to give us a factor quote or a question. This week, first up, we got Justin McCain, Mr. Justin McCain, police. Here we go. Here we go. And he's giving himself the title, which is quite long. What is he written here? So I had this whole bit I was doing about impersonating royalty and doctors Then I was in prison and it was gonna be a triptitch of titles, but I lost interest So I guess I'll just be the official mailman of the podcast, okay? Thank you for walking us through your process. I love to hear a process
Starting point is 01:26:05 Thank you so much, Justin McCain. He's one of our longest serving patron, though, reckon, especially on the Sydney Shiongburg level. And Mr. Justin McCain is asking us a question this week. And the question is, can I guilt you all into coming to the US on tour as part of an invite to my COVID delayed celebration of me and my wives wedding next July. Justin, I wish. I mean, I think you're being hopeful that Australians would be allowed into
Starting point is 01:26:32 America by next July. Yeah, right now, Melbourneians can't leave their houses. It's very hard to get to America because it's not within our five kilometre bubble. Yeah, I can't see my mum who lives 14 kilometres away. But I would love, if I'm in the neighbourhood, I would definitely come to your wedding, Justin McCain. Me too, that would be fun. Of course. Actually, I might be hard. If you could put it back another year,
Starting point is 01:26:58 we might start being a bit more realistic, hopefully. Yeah. But at the same time, I have absolutely no idea. Hopefully a vaccine just comes out tomorrow. How good would that be? Wow. That would be so good. Everything, and we just go,
Starting point is 01:27:11 that was a weird little bit of time, wasn't it? Yeah. Hopefully people are really normal again now. Hopefully people listening to this in a couple of years being like, they didn't know that the vaccine was gonna come and make everything normal. It actually made everything better. There was a side effect of the vaccine
Starting point is 01:27:25 that made everyone cool. And everyone's dick's got bigger. Oh, yeah. I don't know how to have a lot of room to grow. I'm going to need new pants. I don't know why I invited that, but I don't know why. Here we are. Now, honestly, it would be a welcome relief.
Starting point is 01:27:43 Thank you so much for that question, Justin. Great question. So nice to be invited. And hopefully we can make that happen. Katie Murphy is also on the fact, quote, a question section. And Katie's given herself the title podcast, head of ethno musicology. About time we had that position filled. We've advertised that for months now.
Starting point is 01:28:08 So good that someone qualified and Katie Murphy, you were the right person for the job. Well done. And Katie's given us a quote. And here it is. In a 2015 conference, Stephen Hawking was asked, what do you think is the cosmological effect of zane leaving one direction and breaking the hearts of millions of teenage girls across the world? After a pregnant pause, he replied, finally, a question about something important. My advice to any heartbroken young girl
Starting point is 01:28:38 is to pay close attention to the study of theoretical physics, Because one day, there may well be proof of multiple universes. It would not then be beyond the realms of possibility that somewhere outside of our own universe lies a different universe. And in that universe, Zane is still in one direction. That's awesome. One can only hope that that happens. That's a great quote, if a real quote.
Starting point is 01:29:06 I don't know why I'm so doubtful of that. I'm like, I didn't realize that Stephen Hawking was such a funny man. That's good stuff. That's good deal. That's great. Thanks so much, Katie. Thanks, Katie. Thank you for filling the podcast head of Athno Musicology role.
Starting point is 01:29:24 Yeah, finally. Thank you for filling the podcast head of Athno Musicology role. Yeah, finally. Welcome aboard. Uh, also would love to thank Paul Jacob, who is given himself the title of Comptroller of Cheesiest Chees Snacks and Meals. Oh, very important. Oh, Dave, your favorite. The Cheesier the Better, my friend. Oh, this is great.
Starting point is 01:29:43 We've got a factor quote and a question this week, because Paul has given us a fact. And the fact is Grand Rapids, Michigan, is home to one of Nina Akumu's 24-foot tall version of Leonardo's horse. The other located is in some city called Milan. Not as tall as the Kelpies, which is what we went and saw, I think, in Scotland. More accessible than Turkmenistan, and nowhere near as scary as Blucifer, surrounded by which we talk all these references
Starting point is 01:30:18 to big horses. I forget how horse heavy this was. Yeah. Plus the other horse episode that we probably weren't mentioned at this time, but... in this time slot. Surrounded by a beautiful botanical garden and during the post pandemic world, it's a worthwhile stock on your three month road trip across the US. Grand Rapids is also home of 46 breweries. Wow, it's a lot of breweries. And one is Grand Rapids a city home of 46 breweries. Whoa, it's a lot of breweries.
Starting point is 01:30:45 And one is Grand Rapids, the city or a, must be a region, maybe that's a lot of breweries. A six second larger city in Michigan, you're looking up. And it's got 46 breweries, huge of truth. That's crazy. As well as six citeries and nine distilleries. Oh, whoo, whoo.
Starting point is 01:31:03 A cyaterpillar. And many dores, they've something for everybody. I'm having many interiors. Dave, something for you. I know you're an old Viking. I was having for a milkshake, but okay. And it's been, it's got the nickname, Beers City by the USA Today. You can find Beers City, Aile Trail maps online. Also, sorry for breaking the Doctor of Podcast tier. Oh you didn't break it Paul. No you didn't not break it at all Paul. Thanks so much for that fact. We re-event the Doctor of Podcast tier at recent. I don't know if we mentioned that on the show but that was
Starting point is 01:31:38 not anything to do with Paul. That was just because the long term things on there had not been, no one had been taking their rewards on the Doctor of Podcast here, which included having a beer with me online. I'd sort of briefly talked with a few people about it, but it just, it never quite happened. It was the time difference I got in there. Time differences, and then some, one of the guys worked FIFO, and so he was away for four weeks, and he's like, the guy in the bathroom. Yeah, that's what it's her. Oh, one of the guys worked 5.0. And like, so he was away for four weeks and he's like, and then I, you know, it's just
Starting point is 01:32:08 never lined up quite right. So we've changed it now. So if you're on the doctor podcast here, we do a video message to you every month. And you can ask us questions to answer whatever. And we do a personalized video back to you, which Jess emails out. So if anyone's keen on that, yeah, that is one of the, that's like top echelon. You also get to give a fact quote or question. You get it all on that level. Yeah. Thank you so much Paul for that back. And finally from Wes
Starting point is 01:32:36 Piccala, Wes writes a question. Oh, sorry. And he's given himself the title of Vice President of the Doo Go on Drinking Team. Wes, if you're anywhere near Grand Rapids, maybe you could go there and do some work for us. Yeah, a bit of research. Your question, Wes, is, if or when you three are able to do an North American tour, which city would you most like to see or perform? And is that amazing? Three or the four questions have been American tour related?
Starting point is 01:33:06 It feels like it hasn't been mentioned in a while because of current world events, but that's awesome. Yeah, I'm still dream of it, but yeah, it does feel like it's... That's not in the near future. As I'm imagining most people would probably be aware of. And probably, I mean, maybe not even in the not too distant future. Might just, you know. So cities I'd love to go to, I mean, I've been to a few that I'd love to return to. And then there's other ones I've only been to Austin in Texas. I'd
Starting point is 01:33:36 love to see a bit more of Texas. Oh, I've been watching this show. I've been watching a lot of this house channel. Yes, I don't know if you watch Nine Life much. It's the channel I've watched the most in lockdown. And it's just all day long, either reality shows or house renovation shows itself. I don't know, it's a lockdowns effect of me in weird ways. But there's this one show called Home Town,
Starting point is 01:34:02 and it's set in, say Mississippi in this little town there, and it's set in, say Mississippi in this little town there and it's a husband and wife and they fix up these old houses. It's just a real like it's what do you like just like feel good sort of TV where they make a house over and make it look real cool and they're all old cool houses anyway. And yeah, so what it's called like Lorraine Mississippi or something. I wonder if we can, there's almost no chance we can, but I've just swing by there at some point. Obviously Dave, you want to get to Vermont to try a whoopie. A creamy. A creamy, sorry. Can I get up to get a creamy. I'm keen to perform in New York City, baby.
Starting point is 01:34:47 Oh, yeah, that is big girl. Definitely. Definitely. I really want to get there. Comedy Mecca. I'm trying to think if there's a bunch of places I want to go, you know. Chicago. Oh, the windy city.
Starting point is 01:34:59 Seattle. I've never been to Chicago. Obviously Gary goes without saying I want to get to the steel yard. I'm quite scared The Anna. Yes. See the bloody South Shore railcats in action. I wonder if they I mean they haven't been in contact with them for a while but I wonder if the offer of maybe I'll be able to throw the first pitch at a game. Oh, I'm sure that stands. I'm sure it always stands. That's a lifelong invitation right?. You can't put like a time limit on invitations. Yeah, there's a bunch of, I'd love to do the
Starting point is 01:35:31 little road trip up or down the West Coast as part of it. Oh, that'd be cool. The gold drive, the golden mile from Pittsburgh to Gary, Indiana, taking in of course, Ohio, America's greatest state. Is Dollywood on your list, Bob? I was literally just looking up Dollywood. Yes, absolutely.
Starting point is 01:35:54 Up in the Knoxville Smoky Mountains. Knoxville, that's a wonderful week's series. Well, I also want to see the week's sphere, of course, as well. Hi. Yeah. Yeah, so many places. I mean, I've just added grand rapids on the list, for sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:12 It's honestly, I think at this stage, the list being the length that it is, we just have to move. Yeah. Yeah. We need to start a new list. We need to start a new list. We need to start a new list. Places we don't want to go.
Starting point is 01:36:23 There's nothing on it as yet. Yeah. Yeah. I want to want to see it all. Great question. Thanks, Wes. Well, that brings us to our next favorite part of the show, which is where we get to thank a few more patrons. Just normally comes over the game. I want to put to you a suggestion this week, Bob. Okay. I'm open to this. Obviously, you got the final call, but I love some of the nicknames today. Was it Captain Cobre? No, that's Dave. What was it? It was Captain Bulldog. Yeah, we had Bulldog, we had Mad Dog.
Starting point is 01:36:53 Yeah, and also there was a soldier called Wayne Johnson. And in, or Johnson and in the AFL back in the day, there was a Wayne Johnson. His nickname was the Dominator. I think think I'm just, I think we give, I was just thinking of the rock, the whole time. Oh, Wayne the rock, Johnson. Oh, yeah. That's that funny. We think we, we, we like different sports. But I love the sport of acting. So I was thinking maybe we could give them all a, a bad ass nickname. Okay. Yeah. that sounds much nicer than what I had thought of. See, let's do that. Blower mouth. What, yeah, what they started a war over.
Starting point is 01:37:30 Well, that's actually... But in mine, nobody was beaten to death. Okay, now that's very good as well. That's pretty good. Dave, you decide then. Oh. Passing vote. Well, we can just do it quickly. We'll give her a nickname and what they started
Starting point is 01:37:47 a war over. All right, yeah, yeah. If I can kick it off, I'd love to thank from Stanwood in Washington in the United States, Bailey Wicks. Bailey Wicks about right for a nickname there. Wicks. Go to the candle or. Yeah. Wicca man. Oh, Wicca man. Wicca man. What about this column cage? Oh, yeah. Wixca.
Starting point is 01:38:11 Nick was cage or the basket case. Wicca basket. Basket. Basket. The basket. What a nickname. Oh, no, the basket. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:38:20 That's a bad ethnic name. Oh, a lot of options there for Bailey Wicks, who started a war over a missing light globe. So I took one off the front porch. Yeah. How am I supposed to light up my porch now? No, the security lights gone great. Oh, come on. I was going to go put something in the bed. And they're like one of those, one of those globes that are kind of hard to find. Yeah, you've got to get a proper store to get them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some like specialist hardware stores will stock it, but you big chain sometimes don't even have it.
Starting point is 01:38:53 So it's actually quite annoying. This is very inconvenient. If you, if we're not mad, whoever just took the globe, if you could return it, no questions asked. Yeah, I just want the globe. Thank you so much Bailey. I'd also like to thank from Hopper's Crossing in Victoria, Australia, Jess Gleason. Yes, Gleason. The principal at my high school was Gleason and we just called it Gleasonator. Oh, Gleasonator.
Starting point is 01:39:17 Which isn't great. What about that? It's an option for you. What about the principal? Oh, yeah, the principal is pretty good. Sounds bad ass. Okay. If I'd ever seen Glee, I'd suggest one of the character names.
Starting point is 01:39:31 And that any badass names in Glee? I don't. No. I'm the singer. Oh. The water down cover version. The, sometimes inappropriate cover version. That's awesome. Sometimes in appropriate cover version. I think the principle is great.
Starting point is 01:39:48 Just the principle, Gleason. That's awesome. And what did you start a war over? I started the war over some graffiti in the toilets that said something that she did not agree with. Yeah. Like an opinion that she's like, I don't agree with that.
Starting point is 01:40:05 Yeah, the pin was call me if you're horny. She was like, I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that. I don't think I'm going to be texted. Come on, stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that.
Starting point is 01:40:17 Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that. Stop that.. Do we finish on basket? Yes. The principle
Starting point is 01:40:30 glieson. And finally for me, I'd love to thank from Kayleen in the Australian capital territory, Benjamin Martin. What my dad's name is Martin. So how about dad? I was going to say that Martian. Oh, Martian's got what about space man. Yeah, that's good space man dad Space dad space dad space father Darth Vader Yeah, just Vader just Vader. Good. How we get there Vader. I like it Benjamin Vader Martin. Yeah, that's good Benjamin Vader. What did he start a war over? Somebody took his favorite pen off his desk. Oh, you don't.
Starting point is 01:41:07 It's just, yeah, one, yeah, one of those ones that he finally found one that just writes perfectly for him and also it was given to him by a dead relative. It's also sentimental. You're taking your life in your own hands when you steal a pen of Benjamin Vater Martin. That's right. That's right. You'll, you'll, you won't live to tell. I reckon that war, I'm going to kill you. That war was ended very quickly with a back down and a swift apology from the pen thief. That's right. That's how all
Starting point is 01:41:37 wars should end. I put the pen back with a chocky on his desk. Yeah. And he quit. He also quit the office. Whoever stole the ban is that I'm moving to another town. Deal. Please. Can I thank a few names here please? Please. I would like to thank from Austria, our official quiz writer for the podcast. We've done one of his quizzes on Patreon. It is Thomas Doppelwreiter. Thomas Doppelwreiter. I mean, the quiz master is the obvious one. What about the Quizler? Oh, the Quizler. I like that.
Starting point is 01:42:12 Like the Red List or the idea. Yeah, I like it. The Quizler. Sounds like a snack. Yeah. Could you just grab me a bag of Quizlers? I'm a bit piquish. Yeah, I'm going to the shops.
Starting point is 01:42:24 Do you want some Quizlers? What flavor Quizlers do youish. Yeah, I'm going to the shops. Do you want some quizzlers? What flavor quizzlers do you want, Matt, when I go to the shops? Oh, could I get cheesy quizzlers? Oh, yeah. Dave, what about you? What flavor quizzlers you want? Chicken for me, please. Okay, great. I'm getting salt and vinegar. This is good. Oh, that's good. You have to find over quizzlers. Yeah. But actually, I'm probably going to eat some of yours if that's okay. Don't you fucking dare, they are my quizzlers. You said you wanted cheesy, so you were your fucking cheesy.
Starting point is 01:42:49 Well, you haven't gone yet. Can you just get two bags of self vinegar? Oh, okay. So I'm made of money, am I? Well, quizzlers also incredibly expensive. We've started a war over quizzlers here, but Thomas Doborider, he started a war when someone outbid him on something on eBay. At the last second he thought he had it for three days and then so on, five seconds before the item finish, bang got in there. They use one of those cheat apps.
Starting point is 01:43:18 Yeah, those pricks. And what they like outbid him by, you know, 10 cents. Yeah, they're like, oh, come on. Oh, come on. You fuck you. You're the one who's the fuck you. No fuck you. No fuck you. I'll ruin the day. They'll ruin the day they crossed the quizzler.
Starting point is 01:43:33 That's how it started. Someone said, fuck you and you said, no, fuck you and then I was a war. It was a war. Yeah, then here we are. Wow, Thomas, the quizzler, doppel rider. My God, what an absolute pleasure. I would like to thank also from Sydney, Ohio.
Starting point is 01:43:49 Ohio. I'd like to thank Steve Caser. Oh Steve Caser from God's country itself. Ohio, the big O. Hey, I can't believe that I'm sort of indirectly talking right now to Ohio. Wow. What about the big O we call him Roy. Oh, right.
Starting point is 01:44:09 He's in the big O Roy opposite. Somebody's, no, that was Chris Isaac. I was about to sing. Well, he's actually a, he's sort of a bit of, he's, is the big O light. He's the little O. Chris the little O Isaac. He's a low, Okay. So actually the
Starting point is 01:44:27 war started when someone told him that they thought Chris Isaac was more talented than Royal Aubersen. And it kicked off. I heard recently on this podcast, I've been listening to you talking, talking heads to my talking head. And they were talking about the travel and Wilberies and how everyone in the band was most excited. It's like a band of absolute superstars. But inside the band, everyone was like, can you believe we're in a band with Roy Orbison? Really? There's Paul Dylan, George Harrison, Tom Petty, and they're all in awe of the big O. That was an interesting... That's nice. That is awesome. Is that like you guys being in a podcast with me?
Starting point is 01:45:06 Yep. Yeah, we can't believe that we're doing a podcast with Roy Orbison. I'm the Roy Orbison of podcasting. You're all your Orbison more like it. So, thanks to Steve Roy Caser. Thanks, Steve. And I would like to think now from Fort Collins Colorado,
Starting point is 01:45:24 not one, but two people here dynamic duo of Brianna and Dierani Clark or Dierani Clark. Oh, I'm already living a fort which is helpful. Yeah, is there about to embark on some kind of some kind of duo or like a pair now? Yeah, apples apples and pairs. Apple's, Apple's and Peas. Apple's and Peas. It's Brianna, Apple's, Durani, Peas, Clark. Apple's and Peas, Apple's and Peas.
Starting point is 01:45:51 What is that? What is that from? Is that anything? Cockney people said, are they? I don't know. I don't know. Am I? Is this your kind of gibberish right now?
Starting point is 01:46:01 It's trying to yes end, but I cannot follow. It's hard to jump in here, I've got a sound. You're not exactly setting us up for an easier year. What about, what about their call? They're known as the fruit bowl. Oh, that's good. Yes. The fruit sack.
Starting point is 01:46:18 The fruit sack. The fruit sack. The fruit sack's here. What? And they obviously started a war over a traffic incident. Somebody kind of lost. Oh, man. Right. It's too extreme. Yeah. To road rage all the way. Ah, apples and bears is cockney slang for stairs. Oh, okay. Sorry that we did not follow, Maddie. But you were right, it is something Cockney people say. So, well done.
Starting point is 01:46:49 So, I do like it. The fruit bowl, Brianna and DĂĽrernyglock. That's good. Can I bring it home then? This baby home, fantastic. I would love to thank, from Wellington, just over the pond. Oh, the windy city. I love Wellington.
Starting point is 01:47:05 I'd love to thank Tim Anderson. Tim Anderson. Right. Right, Mr. Anderson. I love this name. What about Tim Anderson? It made me think of yes Anderson. So yes man.
Starting point is 01:47:17 Oh, the yes man. The yes man. Great underrated film. It is. Tim, the Yes Man Anderson. I don't know, it sounds like Yes Man Anderson. Basically, you ask him to do something and he'll say yes. He puts himself out there for people.
Starting point is 01:47:35 Everyone. Yeah. The Q. Can rely on him. He's the Yes Man Anderson. I think, I think, like, Yes Man can sometimes be taken as like, someone who's very submissive, but I actually think in this case, everyone needs a yes man friend.
Starting point is 01:47:51 You know, like, you wanna go to a gig, but you don't really have anyone to go and say like, hey man, do you wanna come to this? And like, sure, like they're just willing to give shit a go. Oh, for sure. I totally met it in the most positive way, the yes man.
Starting point is 01:48:01 Yeah, yeah. These are the best kind of people. You can rely on him and he gets the job done. Yes, they're fun, great. I wish I was one of those friends. He's not like a Kim Jong Un lackey, not that kind of yes man. Oh no, no, no. So what would a yes man then start a war over? Oh, just someone who's just saying no all the time.
Starting point is 01:48:22 Who says no all the time? No, yes, no all the time. No. Yes. No. Yes. The no man who's cock me. No. No. The cock me no man.
Starting point is 01:48:32 That funny. It's his arch nemesis. Not funny. No. So he starts a war with John Malayne's impression of me just. That's right. No. But if you haven't seen it. But the pro is a very good bit. He starts a war with John Malayne is impression of Mick Jagger. That's right. Nah.
Starting point is 01:48:47 But if you haven't seen it, it is a very good bit. And the problem is that the impersonation of Mick Jagger, the no man, the Cockney no man, he says, that's it. We're going to war and the yes man, Anderson goes, well, right? Yep.
Starting point is 01:49:02 Yeah. Because that's just in these nature. And sometimes that can be exploited by bad people. Soon after, right in the midst of the Yes Man Addison kick in the shit out of the Cockney No Man, the Cockney No Man goes, true, true. Anderson goes, yes, man. Okay. Yes.
Starting point is 01:49:22 And so it's a short piece. It happens nonetheless. What? I'm Tim, the Yes Man Addison Okay. Yes. And so it's a short piece. It happens nonetheless. What untimmed, yes, man, Anderson. Great name. And I would also love to thank what is this place from Mrs. Mrs. Salgua. Mrs. Salga is my guess. I'm not heard of it. In I'm guessing Ontario, Canada.
Starting point is 01:49:44 Yeah. I would love to thank Laura Sinclair. Laura Sinclair. Laura, Laura. Great frame. That's a really, I was a strong name. I like that a lot. Sinclair.
Starting point is 01:49:57 All right. I'm thinking outside of Bright, there's a swimming hole called Sinclair's because it was just off the Sinclair's property and the story goes that they had the river just running past them and they try to make a private swimming hole with this river. They fence it off and stuff and dynamite it out to make it a deep swimming hole and then the councilor were like, oh, you're not allowed to own part of the river. So instead right next to that property is this super popular swimming
Starting point is 01:50:26 hole. So instead of having a private swimming hole, what they've done is brought crowds every summer right next to their property. I don't know if they still own it. So I don't know if we can work off that. Is the bomber like dynamite? Dynamite? Yeah. Oh, dynamite's great. Dynamite's like dynamite. Laura dynamite's included. Dona-Mite's. Yeah, like Dona-Mite. Laura Dona-Mite's in clearly. I'm trying to see how you can abbreviate Dona-Mite. Dona-Mite. Dine. Dine-No-Mite.
Starting point is 01:50:52 That's just saying it differently. That's not abbreviated. Mite-Mite. Laura Mite's in clear. Oh, that's a bit of fun. You can choose Laura Dona-Mite or Mite. From Mite, Mr. Saga. Mr. Saga, I'm so sorry that we've probably butchered that but thank you very much
Starting point is 01:51:08 Laura you absolutely legend what did Laura start a war over oh yes um Mississauga. I've just got a youtube video. Tell me mississauga Is it really what is it mississauga? I just said it over I love often mississauga I just said it over. I love often Mrs. Saga. Mrs. Saga. She started a world record, sorry, she started something. After an Olympic event.
Starting point is 01:51:32 I was going to say she started a war after the Guinness World Records denied it on a technicality when she applied for a world record. Hey David, is it? It's still like you're dipping into your past through the sun? Because that's not what happened to you apart from the World War Part. That's right. Well, to sell these Helen Beaters to the record whilst it was being processed. So, yeah, still furious.
Starting point is 01:51:51 Look at him. He's shaking with fury. You're seething. Seething. That's his secret. He's always angry. Thank you, Laura. Marty Dona-Martin-Clear.
Starting point is 01:51:59 Thank you, Laura. And I'd finally love to thank from Portsmouth in the UK, Martin Cox. Oh, well, Martin's my dad's name's Abba Dad. Stop trying to make everyone get down. I need a dad at every continent. We can't see dad right now. But it does have a separate ring to it. Sorry, Martin Cox. Martin Cox. Look about the crane? Martin Crane, the crazier's dad. The crane.
Starting point is 01:52:29 That's still a dad kind of thing. The crane's the finishing move in karate kit as well, isn't it? Yeah. It's a powerful mover. That's a cool thing, man. Yeah, I like that a lot. Martin, the crane, Cox. And, I like that a lot. Martin the crane cocks. And what would Martin start a war over? Port Smith. It is a I believe port Smith is that would a big naval port in England.
Starting point is 01:52:53 So he's more it's a war on the Caesar reckon. A reckon it's a part treasurer related war. Oh, okay. Okay. Yep. Love that. Someone marked X on the wrong spot. You had one fucking job. You absolute goof. Now I've spent all afternoon digging and I've got no treasure. So yeah, I'm declaring war on you. Yeah, he did find the treasure later on,
Starting point is 01:53:21 but it was the principle. He was like, that's, you know, like just do your job properly so I can do my job properly. I think that was great. How can we come up with some rippers here today? Some ripping nicknames. Let us know if you adopt that nickname in your real life. If you can make it stick like I couldn't make cobra stick. Well, you came up with cobra, where I've come up with these for them. So I think they might be a better chance. The oldest rule in the nickname book, you cannot give yourself a nickname. All right. So it is time to induct a few people into the trip ditch club.
Starting point is 01:53:51 And this club, you can get into by supporting the show on the shout out level or above for three straight years. And some people are nervous that they had a glitch sometime in the three years. I think you'll still get through if there was a glitch and you just didn't quit and rejoined. But so yeah, I did see someone nervously saying, oh no, I had a glitch and something happened
Starting point is 01:54:18 with my payment eight months ago. Am I gonna have to start again? And I couldn't find the post to reassure them. But anyway, hopefully they're listening now and you are reassured. Glitches don't get stitches. So in the Trippage Club, we open the club up to new members each week when they are ready for induction I lift up the velvety rope Jess greets them with a cocktail. What have we got this week cocktails and all derves? Yes, obviously as always we have cocktails and all derves and no of course I'm not running out of cocktails that I know of So Wow what we're just, um...
Starting point is 01:55:08 Something tree-like, maybe there's, what can you do with a tree? I'll just go on trees, what about a classic martini? Oh, dirty? That means with the... What do you like? I think it's with the juice, right? Oh, I'll leave the juice in, thanks. We'll do, we can do any kind of
Starting point is 01:55:26 We when we're allowed to again, would you to be up for coming to a cocktail bar with me? Let's get inspired again I wish this was a visual medium just as face was just so quick to go. I could not think of anything No, I would love that I love a cocktail bar. I think just my default, sometimes when you say anything quite genuine, I love to just go, no. Like I just find that funny. But I did that with no intention of making the joke. It was just my face. So it's just your natural response to me inviting you
Starting point is 01:55:59 out for an hour on the town. Because I'm a no man. I would love that. Love a cocktail bar. We're also, you've also suggested we have a margarita night. Oh, yeah Because I'm a no man. I would love that. Love a cocktail bar. We're also, you've also suggested we have a margarita night. Oh, yeah. Oh, please. This is what I like to do when I can't do anything.
Starting point is 01:56:12 I love to plan lots of things. What gets me through is dreaming of two as two America suggests a place for margaritas, cocktail bars. I'm so, it's very similar after I've had a few beers, I'm like, we're hanging out. I'll always go to bed with multiple big plans. Yeah, oh god, it's very so good. I'm gonna get started on that tomorrow.
Starting point is 01:56:34 And sometimes that you wake up with like a ticket to Perth in your pocket, man? That has happened one time, yeah. Yeah. That's right. Wild story. I'm also just because you've mentioned apples and pears before. Oh, right.
Starting point is 01:56:48 I've found one here that's a vodka and apple punch. Oh, yeah. Maybe you'll have a pear option available as well. That sounds pear. Nice and refreshing. Food wise. Not sure. Fruitball.
Starting point is 01:56:59 Love that. Food wise. Have we mentioned anything kind of food related? Poppola's restaurant in Brought. We're getting we're shipping in there. We're going to be catered catered by the chef chef I'm so glad we're coming to the end. I started without having much of it and whatever I had of it I've now lost. You've lost it.
Starting point is 01:57:24 Oh that's great. You've lost it. That's great. Who's playing today? Well, we've actually got the surviving members of the travelling Wilburys dropping into night. Wow. Which is up to many of them. Two out of five. Two out of five.
Starting point is 01:57:38 Two out of five. We've got Jeff Linn and Bob Dylan. Still pretty freaking good. Yeah, I mean, that's a great duo. That's great. I wonder if they've got a deal like Grandpas Simpsons, Army Barracks, the last one standing gets all the healthy artwork.
Starting point is 01:57:59 I'm sure they do. So there's two inductees coming in today. And of course, we've got numerous other inductees who are still hanging out in the lounge. They come out each week to meet the new guests. And that's so great that Bob and Jeff are playing. So without further ado, come on in from Woodenville, Washington in the United States, Aaron Sterling. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Starting point is 01:58:27 well, put the pants down, the Sterling's in, all right. Yes, Dave. Yes, Dave. For new listeners, Dave is the hot man as people in the body. He likes to really big him up, so people feel great when they enter the pitch club. Just imagine Jeff Linn and Bob Dylan stromming guitars in the background, like a bit of background music
Starting point is 01:58:45 as I'm hyping people up as they're welcomed into the club. I'm checking the names off the list. We've seen the velvety rope just as handing out a punch bowl. And I'm on stage with like a clock around my neck with a chain on it hyping people up. Yeah. Davey Dave and David Dave. Anyway, and for me. That's pretty good. Hobartville New South Wales in Australia. Welcome Noah Wright. Oh, it's always right when you're in town, my friend. In.
Starting point is 01:59:15 Yeah. It feels so wrong, but it's no right. Oh, yeah. Fuck yeah. Did you think Dave's laugh just then? that was the best thing I've ever had. I feel so gratified. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode, I think. What a fun time we've had.
Starting point is 01:59:32 I mean, that was a fun one. I really had a good time here today. Yeah, great story, Dave. And I know when we're having fun, it is a little more tedious to listen to. So thanks for sticking it out. That's right. This is as much for us as it is
Starting point is 01:59:45 for you guys. You gotta remember that. We need this right now. There's not much contact going on. This will get that this will definitely get a comment on YouTube like it's weird that they don't it's good that they're laughing but it's not very funny or something like that. I mean it'll take three paragraphs of them to get that point across. I hate hearing people have a good time. And a reference something in Aaron 45 minutes in it's like, why were you listening that whole time? Yeah. Why did you listen if you weren't enjoying it?
Starting point is 02:00:15 You don't have to. No, he's ever forced you to, if somebody's forcing you to listen, that's not good. Call the police. I like that they're sticking it out and just giving us a try. go on well, I hated the first hour 40, but let's see see They could redeem themselves. No, they like to think that they're up to a hundred episode hundred and fifty and something They're like I'm I'll try one more episode But they've all made me furious so far
Starting point is 02:00:41 Anyway, thanks everyone for listening What else do we need to tell people at the end of the episode? You can find us at dogonpod.com. It's dogonpod on all the social medias, including Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube. And the Gmail. And the Gmail is dogonpod, a Gmail. Sorry, I can't you off because I forgot about YouTube.
Starting point is 02:00:58 And Jess will reply to you personally. So, you know, if you aren't a dickhead, I assume. Do you have any sort of rules like that or do you reply to dickheads too? No, I don't really reply to dickheads. So I can be honest, but I reckon if you're listening to this and you're thinking, I might let them know something or I might say, hello, you're not a dickhead. Probably not a dickhead. Yeah, you're fine. I don't even, we don't even need to make that stipulation. No, if you think you might be a dickhead, you probably aren't. Yeah, also, yeah, dickheads aren't going, oh, she doesn't reply to dickheads. Well, that's me.
Starting point is 02:01:33 I'm self-aware. Exactly. So if you're worried now, you're definitely fine, because you have self-awareness and you'll just write an email like you're emailing a human because you are You could also support us at patreon at patreon.com such do go on pod all the rewards we talked about before Get involved there. It's a good fun time. There's also the Facebook group Which I didn't mention and that's a real lovely wholesome place to be especially is the world in a bit of turmoil A lot of people saying that that group is helping them. Helping people feel okay. Yeah, it's bloody nice, isn't it? So nice. Lovely. Dave, anything else that you want to boot us home? I think that is it just to say thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week
Starting point is 02:02:18 with another brand new episode, but until then, also thank you and goodbye! Bye guys! Bye! This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you won't, it's up to you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify
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