Do Go On - 266 - Pauline Dakin's Mysterious Life on the Run

Episode Date: November 25, 2020

Pauline Dakin's childhood was spent on the run, it wasn't until she was an adult that she found out why - and that was just the start of it.Buy tickets to our live streamed shows, including this episode! Buy a season pass to get 4 for the price of 3! You can also watch old streams, all with exclusive sections:https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoonSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodCheck out our AACTA nominated web series: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2TuMQ31VXvqqEus9Bo6FZW-dDY5ukEuh Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.theguardian.com/global/2018/may/13/my-childhood-on-the-run-memoir-run-hide-repeathttp://www.paulinedakin.com/https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-42951788https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/547427/run-hide-repeat-by-pauline-dakin/https://www.audible.com.au/?ref=Adbl_ip_rdr_from_US&ipRedirectFrom=US&ipRedirectOriginalURL=author%2FPauline-Dakin%2FB075SFG7HV Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Before we start this week's episode, just wanted to let you know that if you want to,

you can watch this week's episode in full, which is much longer than the podcast episode you're about to listen to by going to sOSPresents.com, and you can buy a season past to watch all four live streams. If you ever thought, I wonder what facial expression they're doing right now. Well, this is how you can find out. Now on with the show.

This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Welcome to another episode of Do Go One. My name is Dave Warnackie and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hi Dave, I'm Matt Stewart. That is Jess Perkins and you are Dave Warnocky. Thank you. Is this my life? Yes. Thank you. Well, technically yeah, this is part of your life. If I could add, I am Jess Perkins. That is Matt Stewart and you are Dave Warnocky.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much for clarifying. And this is your death. Oh, no. Bring out the baseball bats. Oh, no, my God. I'm going to clubbing to death. Life. Oh, no, they're starting on my shins.

Well, this is a North American special, so we should do a Canadian classic of clubbing to death, a small, you're not quite a seal, but you've got big, beautiful eyes, much like a baby seal. Yeah, and you're very slick to touch. Very slick, and I smell awful, a lot like fish.

Yes, yeah. Okay, I'm glad. I'm glad you addressed that. Yeah, that's right. You've been wanting to for a while, I can tell. Is that a Canadian tradition clubbing baby seals today? I feel like any Canadians watching might not love that. Well, why do they partake then?

Yeah, good point. You know, be the change. So on and so forth. So forth. As they always say in Canada, thank you so much. Hey. All right, that's all good fun. Dave, I really want to tell the listeners how this show works,

but I just don't have the words. Well, luckily for you last week, I did a little call out on the show where I said, oh, wouldn't it be great if we had like a 60s theme song that explained what the show is, because we always fumble about it, even though we've been doing it every week for five years. And would you believe it? One of the great songwriters from Puerto Rico,

who also happens to be a listener of the show, Julio Vargas, has sent in a theme song that explains how the show works. So there's only one thing to say, and that is, hit it! One, two, three, four. Every week, Matt Dave or Jess, do our research on a secret topic, the other two, try not to interrupt.

And they always started with a question, so here's a question. That is so good. Thank you so much, Julia. What an absolute legend. That was brilliant. I love that. Only David heard that before now.

What did you think, Jess? I'm obsessed with it. I think I just got goosebumps. I'm going to vote for that in the hottest 100. I love that song, but just see, you know, that's actually not the only one submission that we've had during the week. So if you are out there and you are a songwriter and you want to record an intro, Like that, that would be absolutely awesome.

Yeah, go for it. But thanks so much to Julio for the first one. Thank you. That's a very, very high bar. Yeah, absolutely. And like Julio said, here's the question. The global livability ranking annually ranks the most livable cities in the world. That's more statement so far.

Okay, yeah. Thank God you mentioned it because I was like, I don't know where the question is. Melbourne and Vienna have long taken out the top two spots. But which North American city has. often nipped at their heels, finishing third in 2016, 2017 and 2018. Oh. A North American city. Do you reckon it must be, you reckon it's a Canadian one?

Maybe. Montreal. It's not Montreal. Is it Canadian or is Canadian? Ah, well done Dave. Okay, well, it's over to you now. Vancouver? They've just absolutely wiped out 50 states and many more cities within.

That's right. He was like, well, it's obviously not American. I'm playing guess who I just put down a lot of cities. But you were correct to. Yeah. It's one of the big ones. Vancouver? Yes, it is Vancouver.

Nice. And Vancouver is where today's story begins. For those listening, which is probably everyone who just heard that question and sentence. Well, in fairness, some people, you zone out while you're driving or something. That's true. So just back it up, hit the minus 15 seconds on the iPod of your choice. and listen again. Okay, so for those listening

and for those who are just listening again because you missed it the first time around, this is our first stop on a world tour live from Shubbard Studios, and we're in North America, that's why we're alluding to that a little bit. And that's why this story occurred in Canada. I put three topics up for the vote,

all in North America, and this one was the winner. It was a topic suggested by Harry E. Ware and Rob Da Man, or Daman. And it's a strange family tale. According to the BBC, Pauline Dakin's childhood in Canada in the 1970s was full of secrets, disruption and unpleasant surprises.

She wasn't allowed to talk about her family life with anyone. Even her family? Especially her family. Oh, okay. No, I guess she probably would have been able to talk about her with her family. I have a feeling I've like read an article or something about this. Well, get ready to hear. hear an article about this. So are you deliberately not naming what the topic is?

You just wouldn't know. I mean, if you've heard of it, then you'll know the story. And if you haven't heard of it, you won't have heard of it. So just let him tell the freaking story. And I don't really know what to call it yet. I was hoping you could tell me later that, yeah, we'll come up with a name later. Come up with the name in post. Yeah. Great. She later said, this is Pauline, my brother and I would say, what do you think is wrong with our family? Why are we so weird? But that was the mystery. that just didn't get answered. Wow.

The BBC writes, Pauline's parents, Warren and Ruth, separated when she was five. Warren, a successful businessman, was a heavy drinker who would become violent, and at a point, Ruth just couldn't take it anymore. Nice, sweet, obviously. I said that at the start of that paragraph.

A few years later, according to the Guardian, when Pauline was nine, her mother packed up a Volkswagen camper in Vancouver for a holiday in Winnipeg, more than a thousand miles away, about a full day's drive. When they got there, over a mug of cocoa, the children learned they were never going home. Oh, it was not a holiday. Wow, and they're driving pretty quick.

100 miles an hour for 10 hours to get there? No toilet brakes. As Pauline remembers, there was no opportunity to say goodbye. It was just this abrupt severing of relationships. Pauline would ask her mum why they had to abandon their life in Vancouver, but would never get a good explanation. According to Pauline, she would say, I'm sorry, I can't tell you.

When you're older, I will tell you. That summer, in 1974, was the last time I thought of my family's having any relation to normal she would later write in her memoir, run, hide, repeat. The events that followed made Ted and I know we were different, somehow apart. Ted would sometimes, in the years that followed, refer to normal families,

not in a critical way, but in a straightforward acknowledgement, that we were not one. The family moved around so much that Pauline attended six different schools in seven years. Any thoughts so far? Maybe not Jess, if she already knows the story, Dave. I don't know.

Are they like in witness protection or something like that? Yeah, it could be something like that. Maybe? Could be something like that. Or, I don't know, or their dad of their hiding, but it was a pretty dangerous dude, maybe. some sort of assassin. Oh, yeah, and he's got some sort of a creed

where he must kill his children. Yeah. I haven't played that game, but that sounds about right. You know how violent these video games. Yeah, no, yeah. Hey, don't have it told me to us. According to The Guardian, the next major relocation came when she was 13. When she was finally settled in a school she liked,

had close friends and was starting to be interested in boys. This time, Ruth actually told them where they were going. going all the way to New Brunswick in the far east of Canada. It was another like 30-something hours away. So they'd started off basically on the West Coast. Vancouver is close to it. And they ended up over a couple of long trips moving all the way to the other side. Basically, to put it in Australian terms, start in Melbourne, move to Adelaide.

Yep. Ended up in Perth. Gotcha. But only in reverse of that. But I guess that's because we're in Australia. I flipped it. went east to west. Right.

She went west to east. Gotcha. So I started in Perth, moved to Adelaide, ended up in Melbourne. Yeah. Gotcha. Started in Perth, now we're here. Yeah. Yep.

Okay. Thank you for putting that into a context I can understand. Because I was like, what do you mean? What do you mean? They started at one place. And then they went to a different place. I was like, WTF, Matt. Yeah, what are you?

But then you made it nice and clear for me. Now I get it. I'd already been through that. Oh, yeah. And then I called. called my mum. And she explained me in terms I understand, which is Perth, Adelaide, Melbourne. Your mum explained, the BBC didn't put that in the article. No, they didn't. Really? What were they thinking? That is very poor journalism.

Lazy. Yeah, yeah. They should have known. They should fact-check stuff like that. Yeah. And put them in. God, make it easy for the layman, you know? Yes, which we very much are. Yeah, I'm a very lame man. In New Brunswick, the Dacons would against her start to build a new life. In her book, Pauline describes a family life. as being relatively normal, at least on the surface. But she also described the feelings of confusion, anxiety and depression

lurking beneath the surface, which is pretty understandable, I think. It would be so frustrating. Yeah. And what a frustrating answer? I'll tell you later. And that's not something that would ease the mind of a child. Yeah, so it is something. Yeah, so something is wrong and it's serious if you can't tell me.

And kids, they pick up on a lot of stuff. So their mum is a bit, you know, like frantically packing them and like, they would get the feeling that, oh, we're running from something. Yeah. You know? And it's not a holiday good times. Yeah, exactly. But there is a mug of cocoa.

So. Which is like a Canadian version of Milo, I guess. Oh, okay. Did you look that up as well? She continued writing, I knew something bad was happening. I didn't know what it was, but there was always a sense of something dire that was unspoken. It's like either you go, no, there's nothing to worry about. I just, you know, I'm free and easy.

I like to move. I'm a cool mom. Yeah, I'm chasing the sun. Or you go, I've got to let you know, your dad's got an Assassin's Creed. Yeah. Video game. Is that true? And it's really.

It's really scary. Oh, my God. I don't want you to see it. It's MA. You're only 13. Strange things would also happen from day to day. Like the day she returned home to find her mother throwing out all the food from the fridge. Ruth told her that the food had gone bad, but Pauline remembers thinking even as a child,

ketchup and mustard don't go bad. There are things in there that don't go bad quickly. Why would you do that? What's happened there is she's realized that ketchup doesn't belong in the fridge. It should be in the pantry. So once it's been in the fridge, that's it. Throw it out, start again, in the pantry, you're ready to go. Much like chocolate. No, both belong in the fridge, especially chocolate, but especially tomato sauce. So, um, Jess, ketchup. Actually is tomato sauce. I don't know why they've given it a fancy name up north, where we are now. You're going to get an um actually on that.

Because I think they are slightly different things. Cats up. Ketchup. Cats up. Excuse me, where are the Burns O's? Simpsons reference for those. Now we're in North America. Everyone must know that show.

Is that like to that other show? Is that big in North America? There are also times when Ruth would pull the kids out of school midweek wants to go hiking and stay overnight in a mountain cabin for a few days. Another time they were pulled out of school to go bowling. So some of it sounds fun. Yeah, that'd be right. Like an excursion with mum.

I mean, even their dad is some sort of assassin. They're like, he'll never think to look for us in a bowling alley. He drives passing? He's like, no, they wouldn't be in there. That's lame. Yeah, oh, come on. Surely they're at the movies. Things had settled down a bit once the family were in New Brunswick,

and the big relocation stopped, and the kids started making their way through school, relatively normally almost. Then by 1988, Pauline had graduated from uni, which got a photo of here for those watching the stream, and she got a job writing for a local newspaper in nearby St. John. That photo beautifully did. dates at 2, 1988, I think.

Those glasses. They're back, I reckon. She could get away with them today. I hope she kept him. Hope her description doesn't change. I like 80's glasses because it meant that not only your eyes could see clear of it, so could your cheeks and some of your, you know, the top of your mouth? Yep.

They were big. And the top of my mouth likes to see. And it likes what it sees. That's a classic pick-up line from the 80s. My mouth likes what it sees. Okay. Well, I'd like to go home with you right now then. Works every time.

So it was then when Pauline was 23 that her mother Ruth called asking to meet up. She said... So what's her mother's name? Ruth. Thank you. Oh, okay. What did you think? You said Roof.

I said Roof. Her mother, Ruth. I was going to let it go with her Jessica, you look like this. That was a look of, are you going to do it or shall I? Ruth. I mean, they are very similar. Very similar. Sorry, sorry.

It led to a couple awkward times when, Auntie Ruth. So Ruth came over and we had a bit of a leak in her. And I didn't know what to do. Sorry, she's 23. Ruth's come to her. I call Ruth Seal. And, um, Ruth Ruth, Ruth.

So her mother, roof, which is also what seals do say. Yes. That makes sense that I've been careful. Maybe the one was a seal? Is that why they have to club them because they're annoying? Yeah. Roof,

roof. Shut. Like one of mosquitoes buzzing around. You just get rid of it. Hit it with a club. Hit a mosquito with a club. I've got very damaged walls. So Ruth calls up and she's finally ready to come clean.

She said, I'm ready to explain all these strange things. things that have happened throughout your life. And then she asked Pauline to meet her at a motel halfway between where they were both living. Oh, that sounds so suss. Yeah. I'd feel weird meeting my mum at a motel. Yeah. You know?

Did her mum say? A hotel, sure. Motel. Mum, maybe a bistro. Sure, of course. A cafe. Lovely. Did she say, come alone?

I imagine, yeah. Make sure you're not followed. No, cops. What are you talking about? Are you telling me not to bring my boyfriend? Is that okay, fine. If you don't like Darren, fine. I think that probably was true.

Her boyfriend at the time she wasn't allowed to tell him what she was about to learn. Oh, wow. On arrival, Ruth handed Pauline an envelope and a note which read, Don't say anything. Take your jewelry off. Put it in an envelope. I'll explain. Just don't talk.

Okay. What is going on here? Well, I know. Do you? Yes. Wow. So you're the only one that gets to guess. Is the jewelry bugged?

That might be part of the concern, yeah. What? Pauline recalled it was just the most bizarre thing I thought, Who are you? What are you doing? But I did what she told me. It was her mum after all. Yeah.

Ruth then took Pauline into one of the motel rooms where a man named Stan Sears was waiting for them. Stan was a church minister who Ruth had met at a support group for the families of alcoholics. He had counseled Ruth after she went to him when struggling with her ex-husband and his abuse. On both occasions that the Dacons had relocated, Stan's family arrived in the new city too. So while Pauline was surprised to find Stan in that motel room, she later said of Stan's family, whatever had been going on they were a part of. I knew that.

It was obviously Right. The Sears family was somehow connected. Okay. Or just a wild coincidence. That they... Oh, look at the Sears here again. Oh my God.

That's so weird. What are the odds? Here in Adelaide or Canada's version of. Oh, thank you. Yep. Right. So Stan and Ruth sat Pauline down and explained what had been going on and why they needed to relocate without warning.

This is from the BBC. Stan and Ruth told Pauline that for the past 16 years, they'd been on the run from the mafia. and that Pauline's family had been targeted because of her father Warren and his involvement with organised crime. So you were pretty bang on. Whoa. She couldn't wear her jewelry because it needed to be tested for bugs,

which you also were bang on about it. You're very in tune, Dave. But I just didn't think it would be bugged. I honestly didn't think it would be. That sounds paranoid to me. Yeah. To the mafia bug people like that? Their jewelry.

Oh, yeah, certainly. Oh, yeah. Right. Fantastic. Yeah, yeah. They're listening right now. Oh, no. Dave, do you mind speaking into my ring?

Is that way you have to kiss the Godfather's hand? Yeah. I killed seven people. Got him. Got him. Never whisper into the Godfather's ring. Confess your sins into my ring. That's why every time I see you, I say, oh, David, au chante.

Got him. The BBC continues. Stan explained that it all started after he had counselled. a mafia kingpin who wanted to turn his back on his criminal pass. When the mob discovered that the man had broken its code of silence and come to Stan for counselling, they had him assassinated and had then come after Stan thinking he probably knew too much. Later, when Ruth, the embittered ex-wife of a mobster,

had started working as a secretary at Stan's church, she too had become a target. So that's why Stan was in the gun. that's why Ruth was also in the gun. That's why both of their families were on the run. Pauline later said, I remember a feeling of terror coming over me, this might be something we could never escape.

Stan explained that there was a government-sanctioned task force protecting them, who over the years had foiled attempts to kidnap and even assassinate members of the families. According to the BBC, as well as this government-sanctioned task force, Stan also explained that there were, shadowy communities, towns or villages in different parts of the country where people who'd been targeted by the mafia could go into protective custody. Sort of like where Homer went and

worked for Hank Scorpio. Am I confusing episodes? That's two episodes. The Thompson's... Cape Fear episode. Sorry, Simpsons fans. This is a crazy turn of events. Yeah. I've waited until she's about 23. 23. Wow. And imagine growing up knowing like something's not right but they won't tell me so. Yeah and I mean she must have had some thoughts like this in her mind.

These must be of all the things you'd go through in your head why are we on the run? These are kind of classic reasons to be on the run where we're afraid of people killing us. Yeah, that's a pretty good reason to be on the run. Classic but still extremely uncommon. Yeah, that's true. But there's a reason it's a classic.

It works. Yeah, that's right. Taylor's oldest time itself. So Stan was now living in one of these secret communities, known as Place of Hope, which is a great name. Beautiful. And he's he really a minister? Yes.

Oh, that's right, because he took the confession. Sorry, I just thought this might be like an undercover thing. Though Stan's wife chose not to go with him, and so Stan and his partner had split up. After years on the run, Ruth told, so this is still them being explained at the motel, Ruth told Pauline, she was finally going to go inside the protective community also. Stan and Ruth then told Pauline that they had been secretly in love for many years,

and now that Stan was single, this was their chance to be together. So she was going inside to be with Stan as, you know, in a relationship. All of these revelations were a lot for Pauline to take in. Yeah, that's understandable, I reckon. one of them, okay. But, you know, like, we're on the run from your dad. You'd be like, okay. And then, you know, but then you add, like, take your jewelry off.

It's probably bugged. Also, this is your new dad. It's just a lot. And there's secret communities. Yes. All throughout this continent. Yep. So is the entire community in on it?

Yeah, I think it's... The whole town is. Yeah, well, they haven't described how big the town is. I imagine they're pretty small communities. And I think it sounds like they're in, you know, forested areas and stuff as well. Maybe it's like, balling alleys. Maybe it's like one of those, like, retirement community village places.

You know, everyone's got their own houses and stuff, but you're in a gated community. Have you ever gone to one of them and they'll, and they ever accuse you of asking too many questions? It's probably one of the secret ones. What kind of pies you got here today? Get out. Yeah. Yeah. A bit curious, mate.

Yeah. Just take what you're given, okay. wearing a lot of bling too, I noticed. Mr. T, very suspicious man. Everything is bugged. She said she was sick with fear and sadness and it felt like life was shattering all around me. Oh, yeah.

Stan and Ruth also helped explain many of the strange occurrences of her youth. For instance, they explained that the food in the fridge had to be thrown out as they had received word that somebody was trying to poison them. Oh, yeah, that adds up now. That makes sense. Even the ketchup? Even the ketchup.

That is a dog act. Yeah. And the mustard? You're going to buy a new ketchup and mustard? Absolute dogs. That's annoying. Favorite mustard. Oh, I mean, Dijon, maybe.

Classic English. Yeah, I like hot English. Oh, yeah. But there's so many good ones. So many good mustard. That's classic American mustard, that real yellow one you put on hot dogs. Does a honey mustard count? Oh, honey mustard count.

I love a honey mustard. Mustard do I mean? What about a musk stick? Does that count as a mustard? No, you've gone a little too far. Okay. What about just mustard as a colour? Because you know I love that. Yeah. Colonel mustard is also a good off. Colonel Mustard is a candle stick in the Observatory. My favourite player. My favourite player too. So we can never play Clued. Oh my goodness. I can't believe he's not your favourite player. You're the biggest mustard head I know. No, I would always go for is it Scarlett? Miss Scarlett. She goes first. Come on. That's the toad of the Mario Cut world in the Cludeau world. Wow. People pick that and you go, all right. Okay.

Tack. I get it. Okay. All right. So you just want to cheat then. Okay. I would never cheat at Cluto. I want you to know that.

Okay, fine. Well, then pick Professor Plum like everyone else. Fine. I'll be Plum. Thank you. I just want to be the hot one for once. I'll be Miss White. Yeah.

That's a character called Miss White. I think she's a maid. I feel like I can only remember Colonel Mustard. Who's the green one? Why is her a colonel and a professor, but all the women are Miss. Why can't we have cool titles? It was a different time.

Yeah. Is the green one Mr Green? Is that his name? I think so. Yeah, very. That's good stuff. Yeah, that's good writing. All right, I'll buy Cludeau.

Come over. It's really fun. My sister would always beat me. Do you know why? Because she would be Miss Scarlet. Okay, all right. Come on, man. Okay, so your perception of Miss Scarlet always cheating is actually your sister always being.

Well, she goes first. I mean. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. He's just doing a lot of eye rolling. Yeah, sorry about that.

Anyway, may I go on? Yeah, please do go on. Sorry. I mean, you started that with your favourite mustard, but please do go on. So they threw out an entire fridge of food. And that was because of the poise. I mean, would you be like, I'll take my chances? I'm not doing another weekly shop.

But would you take your chance with anything? like if there was like for example for me there was a lovely blue cheese in there i think could this take me out it's already moldy is it possible that they could make this any more poisonous this could be worse for my body it's literally blue mold on cheese which is already mold in a way another thing that was explained to him was when they went on a spare of the moment two-day hike and also the 10 pin bowling excursions they were because of tip-offs that were received that someone was coming for them. Yeah, right.

So they're like, just leave the house. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, if someone was coming for them, you wouldn't just go, knock on the door and go, they're not here. I guess I'll drive back to that different city I'm from. Wouldn't you just wait?

Yeah, but I guess bowling, so I guess the camping, you're a long way away, hard to find bowling alley, very public place, probably hard to kill someone. Right, yep. Oh, okay, yeah.

But, you know, on the way to the car park and stuff. Yeah, and all like, yeah, I mean, you just have to time with the crunching of the pins. Yeah. And a stab. And a stab. Because stabbing notoriously loud.

Yeah, notoriously crunchy. Yeah. Is that the noise it would make? Yeah, yeah. But that would be covered by the pins. Yeah. By the crunching of the pins. Yeah, I've bowled.

I've heard what bowling sounds like. Played wee bowling once. It's when you piss on pins. Did you take them all down in one go? Yeah, yeah. That's impressive. A strike. I've got a, I've got to.

a very firm stream. Well, if it's a spare, you've got to come back in two hours and finish off the job. When I was a kid, they called me the Super Soaker. Wow. That's awful. Yeah, I didn't enjoy that. Another time, according to the BBC, the children had come home from school and been rushed through the house, told to scrub their feet in the bath,

and made to wear plastic bags over their socks for the rest of the day. There was a sinister reason for all of these strange episodes. Is it because they thought Howard Hughes was coming to kill them? what are they doing? I think it was another weird attempt on their life and they thought something in the carpet was, yeah, the carpet had been spiked somehow with poison.

Get you through your feet. Yeah, I don't follow. As unbelievable as it sounds, there were all these explanations that made pieces that had been so troubling fall into some kind of a pattern, a narrative, Pauline said. Stan and Ruth spent the weekend answering her questions.

Then when it was time to go, Dan put a transmitter in Pauline's car to allow the government task force to more easily track her and make sure she was safe. According to the BBC, he also gave her a small transistor radio that had a broadcast function so that Pauline could send or send a call for help. He warned me, I only use it if your life is really in danger because people will respond and put their life on the line for you. So don't fuck around with this. Yeah, it's not like, help, help, and someone runs in, kicks down the door and you're like, I'm out of milk. Could you go get me some? Could you be a doll?

But in fairness, they're not really, they're putting their life on the line in theory only there. They've come in, realize there's not an emergency. They're not in danger. Yeah, but they did jump through a window, so they are quite badly cut. But she's out of milk. Exactly.

And then they look in the fridge, she's not out of milk. She just doesn't have full cream like she likes. Yeah. It's light crap. Yeah. It's bullshit. It's water pretending to be milk.

Exactly. After that weekend, Pauline returned to her life with her partner. She was sharing her home with, but she wasn't allowed to tell any of this she'd just learn. Imagine how, you know, when you've got a small secret, you can't tell a friend? Imagine being like, my whole world has just been turned upside down. I struggle buying presents for my partner, not telling him. I'm like, he knows, he knows. Do you lie to cover it up?

I'm having an affair. That's why I was out today. Yeah. Got away with that one. Every time. Just before his birthday every year. Exactly. Yeah,

I haven't heard before your birthday every year. And then on his birthday, bang, Xbox game. There it is. All it was was an Xbox game. He's left. These guys,

packed his shop. Yeah, but the Xbox game always, he comes crawling. Oh, yeah. Oh, the new FIFA. And the cycle begins again.

Yeah, that's right. So, so she's back with her partner after a weekend away that I don't know how she even explain that. Oh, yeah, just,

She's an affair. Just had an affair. Just had an affair with an Xbox player. An Xbox player. Gene I knew, with a gamer. I didn't think this could get worse, but it has. Sucked in, gamers. That's you.

Yeah, it's you, Dave. I've got a Nintendo Switch light. She also went back to her job at the local newspaper. And while she tried to keep it all together, on the inside, she was struggling to come to terms with it all. She became more paranoid by the day, always looking over her shoulder and suspecting every passing car as a potential threat.

She stopped eating out at restaurants for fear of being poisoned and used her home phone sparingly, assuming it was bugged. Right. She must have had it bedazzled. It's covered in jewels. When she communicated with Stan and Ruth,

she heard increasingly alarming information. According to the BBC, this included the news that many people they knew weren't really the people they seemed to be. The story was that some people who had been around us during my childhood, who were involved with organised crime, had been picked up, arrested, killed, or otherwise disappeared, and then replaced by doubles. Sometimes the double was put in place by the good guys,

and sometimes the double would be put in place by the bad guys. So you were never 100% sure whose double it was. The double, it was espionage, yeah, triple double. Is there a chance that Roof and Stan are lying? I mean, there's always a chance. At what point, like it just sounds like it's getting crazier and crazy. It started thinking, is that, now there's doubles of people that I knew in my child? Is that?

Sound to seem a little ridiculous. Yeah. But Stan always explained. He said, the doubles spent months studying home videos to learn how to behave convincingly. And he used specialist plastic surgeons and makeup artists to perfect their disguises. This sounds crazy now. Dave, why would I be telling you about a story if it wasn't fully legit? I'm actually a bit offended.

Sorry, sorry, everyone. Sorry, Matt. And sorry to the BBC. Thank you. The BBC, it's not bullshit concocted by cunnies. It's not. Is that BCC? That's bullshit by cunnies.

It's not that. It's not that. It's also not the BCC. It's not even the BCC. It's going to take a while to list of things that it's not. In fact, I shouldn't have even mentioned the BCC. I've said too much. Oh, no.

Are you a double? Both Pauline and Ruth received many letters from people they knew inside the protective community, including strangely from her father and her godfather, who were both being held in a top secret prison inside. The godfather? Yes. Yes. Pretty good actually

So they're in its top secret prison Yeah And like you Dave Pauline's instinct was to be Skeptical after all she was a journalist And she was taught to always question everything But the handwriting looked authentic to her And the letters were about their shared past Things that weren't common knowledge

Besides Pauline thought to herself Who on earth would have the time to forge them If they weren't real? It would be ridiculous This is again from the BBC, which is not. Let me stress, big, bald camels. It is not. This is the British broadcasting cunnies. And they don't muck about.

They don't muck about. We're not here to muck about. We're the BBC. Despite being plagued by doubts, Pauline always had to acknowledge that the two people telling her this incredible. story were a mother and Stan, the most trustworthy people she knew. It was a crazy story and I did have some challenges believing it, she says, but if I couldn't trust them, who could I trust? With the dangerous nature of her private life, Pauline was struggling more than ever with her job

at the local paper. Fearing for her life day to day made reporting on local town council meetings feel a bit frivolous. On top of this, she was not allowed to tell anyone, including her boyfriend, that the mafia were after her. You should probably tell him because if there are After her, he's probably a target too, right? Yeah, yeah. So I reckon you probably should let him know. Well, I imagine he would have asked questions and she would have said, I'll tell you when you're older.

Yeah. He'd be like, I'm 28. What are you talking about? Well. Well, when you're a big boy, I'll tell you. She decided, I can't live like this. And that, she was going to go inside. She decided she'd go into the secret world.

Back to the BBC. Stan told Pauline that, there was work inside that she could do, that there was a community of good people there that she could be a part of. He was building a cottage for himself and her mother and said he could arrange for one to be built for her too. He brought her carpet samples and showed her plans and a photo of the horse that she would have.

He was going to get her a horse. Right. I'd be wary of those carpet samples though. And also make sure that horse isn't a double. And make sure that horse isn't just two men in a horse suit. Oh my God. With guns. Covered in poison.

Yeah. That would really be a double. double then, wouldn't it? Two people in a horse suit. Pauline left her job, sold her house and broke up with her boyfriend. It was just becoming too hard to keep the secret. Yeah, that's fair. If she was going to move into a secret world

and not be able to tell him about it, that was going to become too difficult. Just just cut him loose so easily. Yeah, that's fair. Whatever. She probably also feels like she's protecting him by distancing him from her. But also, cut him loose. She said using it as an excuse.

Yeah. But Joaquin, she said, it's not you. It's not me. It's the mafia. It's the mafia. And then left and he's like, what? Just say it's me then. Yeah, come on.

Don't come up with this crazy story which he didn't even reveal. Yeah. If this is just a ploy by a roof to break up because she doesn't like the boyfriend, this would be amazing. Yeah. Yeah, that's diabolical. Yeah. It's not good enough for you. Nightmare mother-in-law.

More like monster-in-law, am I wrong. That's funny. Thank you. Can we use that? So still from the BBC, Pauline left her job, sold her house and broke up with her boyfriend. She moved to Halifax in Nova Scotia, where she found work and a new home

while she and her mother waited for word that it would be safe to go inside. We were told that there had been threats against family members and that if we were to disappear again, all hell would rain down on anyone we left behind. The intelligence gatherers were telling us that the mob had been. some sense that we might be planning to

disappear so they were threatening us. We were always on hold. She met a new man, Kevin. And this time, Pauline's boyfriend was allowed in on the family secret. Oh, congrats Kevin. Kevin agreed that he would keep the secret and he would also move into the secret society.

Why did Kevin get the trust? Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? Yeah, I don't know. Something about him. Something about his big eyes. No, when you know, you know. I think Kevin might be in on it. No, Kevin's just the one.

Okay. Are you so bitter and cynical that you can't even see true love anymore? What is wrong with you, Dave? Is Kevin a giant brooch? I'm recording every conversation. I choose not to say. Rooke's like, I like him. I like him, he's sparkly.

I like that little bit green, he's got in his chest. Yeah, I like that bit. I like talking into it. I love you, Kevin. I love you, Kevin. You're going to be the best. in Laura I've ever had. They soon married as well.

At the wedding, Stan walked Pauline down the aisle in her father, Warren's absence. I still don't know what to think here. Well. So in 1990, Pauline's brother Ted also got married. Pauline was warned

that many of the guests were doubles, and according to the Guardian, these doppelgangers included Pauline's Aunt Penny and even her father, who she'd only seen, once in the previous decade. So her dad was at her brother's wedding, but it wasn't her dad.

It was a double of her dad. Does her brother know as well? Yeah, I think her brother, because she's the one who's been most public with the story, it's all through her eyes. I think her brother's been a bit more quiet about it. Fair enough. Just try to move on.

I guess there's two ways you deal with it, I guess. Yeah. Her dad is a double. Yeah, she's got a double dad. Do the mafia bother going into this much? effort. Yes. Have you been listening to a word I've said?

But do that, yeah, but that's if you take it at face value, which I'm still struggling to. Right. Dad as a double. Yeah, double dad. An entire wedding and half the guests are actors essentially. Yeah. Well, she hasn't seen her dad in, you know, a decade.

So, you know, maybe you would forget how he talks, moves and looks. And... But her dads did continue. Okay. She was... She couldn't stop staring at. her dad double. He had a small mole just next to the corner of his eye, and she wondered, how are they able to replicate the disguise down to that small of a detail? But Stan explained

that amazing things could be done with prosthetics and contact lenses. Everything being set up for Pauline and Kevin to go inside and enter the weird world, as Stan called it, and communications from the inside continued. Here's an example of a letter written to Ruth and Pauline, at the time. So they're still waiting to go inside. Dear R&P, people from the inside seem to just use initials. I guess it's so bad. The code can't be cracked. Sure. Dear R&P, this has to be a hurried note to you both.

Sorry, I haven't time to write separate letters. We are so busy with another large group of children that we are taxed to the utmost. I'm wondering, of course, how you both are. Excited and I'm sure about the future. And at the same time, a bit scared or reluctant to leave that world and enter this one. I can understand that, but I can also assure you that it is a wonderful world and really not at all confined as you might think it is. Why am I typing? It's a type letter.

Why am I typing? Only because my pen is dry and I don't want to go to the office for another one, weird detail. That is very strange detail. No one was questioning until he brought it up. Why am I typing? Well, bloody, I've only got one pen. I'm sorry, you're living over there with a whole box of pens, but I've got one pen and it's gone a bit dry because I'll have a little bit dry because I'll never have. the cap off.

Okay? Show your pens, Pauline. Share them. I've only got one pen. So that does actually add up for me. I mean, if you can't trust that your dad's your dad, how can you trust this letter? Yeah.

Which is very defensive for some reason. Yeah. The letter, the final paragraph talks a bit about Stan, her new sort of father figure. From rumours I get, you, Pauline, or you P, are all already being spoiled by a new father. A horse yet? I think that is great. You, Ruth, have been spoiled by S, Stan, for a long time, I think. So you don't need a horse. God, that's a weird. But also,

Pauline's in a mid-20s. And it's like, this is your new dad. She doesn't... This is your new dad. He's getting you a horse. But you don't need a horse. Ruth don't need a horse. Ruth, you don't A horse. Because Stan, you already know Stan loves you so you don't need a horse. Okay, so Stan is buying Pauline's love, okay? Yeah. But is she taking back the horse there? The horse is in there.

She's going in. When she goes in, she gets a horse. Little cherry on top. Little to try and entice you. Yeah. Like leaving little treats for a puppy. I'm glad I said as... But she's a late 20s woman.

Yes, a married woman in her late 20s. Who now has a new dad. Why am I typing? Well, bloody, thanks for asking. Yeah. My hand hurts. I mean, there could be any number of reasons. It's weird that you've brought this up.

Why are you held up on this small point? Why not be like, hey, cool, you've got a typewriter now? God. Always with the negative. While plans were supposedly in place for them to move in, Kevin and Pauline, Stan would always delay it, saying the time wasn't right. Then in 1993, five years after being led in on the secret, Pauline's doubts about the story reach breaking point.

She's like, I've just got to find out if this is real or not, saying I was at war with myself and I wanted to find some definitive way to prove it right or wrong. She obviously, she had big dick, because it's a wild story. So the whole way through, she's going, can this be real? But it's also all she's ever really known. Also, it's a bit of a risk, isn't it? Like, if it is real, you know, you're going to find out probably the hard way.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly right. So she decided to set up a low-key sting operation. When her mom was off to visit Stan on the inside, Pauline called her saying, somebody's broken into my house, what should I do? This is her test.

This is the trap she said. Okay. Ruth replied, I'll ask our friend and call you back. And the BBC takes it from here. I'll ask you, dad. Yeah. Also, he's a bit offended that you haven't started calling him dad.

Yeah. So if you could do that a bit more... What do you mean that you're in your mid to late 20s and you don't see him as a father because you're an adult yourself? Why haven't you started calling him dad? So if you speak to him about this emergency, if you could call him dad, that'd really make him feel bad. He would love that.

Just take the time. Take the time. Make a little bit of effort. You love might be in danger, but just call him dad. He's getting you a horse. The least you can do is call the man dad. Has your dad or your double dad ever got your horse before? No.

No, this is your new dad. He's had two cracks out. it. As original Wayne and as double Wayne. And have either of them got your horse? Two miles? Zero horses. Cut him loose. So this is from the BBC. Stan had made it clear to Pauline

and Ruth that they must never go to the police to report any of the threats and strange goings on in their lives. The police, he said, couldn't be trusted. If there was ever any trouble, they should come to him and he would let them know if he got word of any plots that put them

in danger. He had a special contract implanted in his wallet for receiving messages. It would do a Morse code, dash and dots message, and he would take it out and a little notepad and decipher it. All right, so he would just feel it going off in his ass. In his ass.

Dash dash, dot, dot, dot. He'd go, oh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, sorry, Mittball, dash. Oh, that actually feels quite nice. Well, don't stop now. So she called her mom, Ruth. Ruth said, I'll get back to you.

and soon after, Ruth called back. And Pauline recalls, I was terrified because it was the moment that I was going to get the answer to this horrible quandary that I'd been living with. Ruth told her she wasn't able to talk on the phone and that they must meet immediately. Back to the BBC. Once there, Pauline listened, horrified,

as Ruth and Stan told her that two people had been picked up just down the street from her house earlier that day. That they had photos of her, they'd been following her, and they were looking for certain things in her house, possibly related to Wayne, her actual dad. When she said that,

I knew the whole thing was a hoax, Pauline recalled, because there had been no break-in. I made it up. Fuck. Oh, what a moment of you lie. Yes. She's about 28 now. All the moves and disappearances, all the running,

all the sick, terrifying stories, all the upheaval, all the isolation. This is from her book, Run Hard Repeat. It was all because of a lie, a fucking lie. made up all the laid creation of the brilliant twisted imagination of this man who I'd chosen a love and trusted a father never called him dad all the marriages to Kevin that was unnecessary no she loved Kevin did she no wow she loved the other guy did she because she cut him

lose pretty as soon as this huge conspiracy secret that she had that she wasn't allowed to let him in on soon as that really got going yeah she was like get out of yeah but yes She was shattered and it took her a week of soul searching before she could confront her mum and go, hey, I know the truth now. But does the mum know? Well, back to the BBC. When she did, Ruth was horrified and upset, but not because she believed Pauline's accusations against Stan. What worried her was that if Pauline no longer believed the story, she would be putting herself in danger. So Ruth was deep in it and believed it.

She wasn't. She's been in it for so long that it would take way more than one bit of evidence against it to convince her. And she's closer to Stan. She's living with him now. She loves Stan. When Pauline confronted Stan and said to Stan, look, I know this is bullshit. There was no break in. Stan said there must have been a mistake.

The report about the men who'd been picked up after searching her house must have been incorrect. There would be an investigation he assured her. My memory of that night was how sad he was, she said. I was no longer one of them. She could tell he knew, even though he wasn't owning up to it. But she reckons he could, you know, there was just something changed. Wow. It would seem that rather than being in on the lie, Ruth was also a victim of it.

The following months were filled with Pauline attempting to convince her that Stan had been lying to them and vice versa, with Ruth trying to convince her daughter she needed to take it all seriously. I was furious and resentful and I thought I hated Stan for a long time, Pauline said. But I finally decided that my mother was not in on this. Stan was making it up, but I just couldn't think of a reason why he would have done it. In search of answers, Pauline visited a psychiatrist. I said, what do you think this could be? He's clearly not schizophrenic.

He does not appear to be psychotic. He's a professional. He's well respected. People always talk about what a great guy he is. what could be going on. This is from the Guardian. Considerable solace came when Pauline was able to put a name to what Sears was suffering from.

At different points, she had considered many different possibilities. Then one day in 2014, she read about a rare condition called delusional disorder. This typically comes on later in life, and unlike many other psychiatric conditions, the sufferer experiences delusions, but in many other ways behaves entirely normally. I don't know normally is a weird phrase to use with this sort of stuff, but anyway,

this Pauline believes, perfectly sums up Sears, who was a well-respected pillar of the community type. He was a very compelling guy, she says. He was just so intelligent, but also funny, and he really connected with people. When he talked to you, he really listened. You felt very heard. In many ways, Stan was quite brilliant, Pauline goes on. He had an amazing mind, and that allowed his delusion to become much more

complex. There was an entire cast of characters. It was like a roller decks and he always knew who they were and the stories that were related to them. It was quite remarkable. He never dropped the story until she trapped him basically years later and he would have had no idea that

no one did break into her house. Yeah, right. And so is that sort of saying that like he very much believed these students? That's what it sounds like, yeah. It's not necessarily, it's not a malicious thing. Exactly, yes.

Yeah, wow. She's just sort of being caught up. He really believes in these delusions that he's having. The discovery of the delusional disorder just unlocked something for me and allowed me some understanding of why all this crazy stuff had happened, she says. But also, let me realize that Stan was not malevolent. He wasn't trying to hurt us. We just got caught up in his illness.

I didn't have to be so angry and bitter. I could move on with my life. Stan passed away in 2005. and Ruth didn't accept the truth, even then when coincidentally the letters from the inside about mafia hits and assassination attempts also ceased. So even though they stopped, he dies, the letter stopped. She's not wise and the same.

Even her belief was so strong that she still fully believed in it. But in time, Pauline forgave Stan and her mum saying, when I had children, things changed because they became a focus for all our love. When Ruth developed cancer, she moved in with Pauline and her family, living her last nine months in the family home before passing on in 2010.

It's all a bit sad with Pauline recalling. I hadn't fully forgiven her at that point, but we both knew that we were out of time to sort through this. We had to find some place of peace, and eventually we did. Pauline also reconnected with her father, Warren, but by this time he was dying of emphysema. It really is quite a sad story. Was he ever in the mafia?

No, I don't, I think he was just a businessman who was, uh, he wasn't abusive alcoholic. He wasn't a good guy. Right. But like, it's not like even that bit was rooted in truth. And then just, I don't, I don't think so. And he wasn't a double. No, I think he was always a single. Right.

Okay. And since she left him, yeah, he was. Imagine, but I believe. Uh, she considered filling her dad in on the whole story, the true story, but decided against it saying, I thought it would enrage him and that would not be good for him. I just didn't think there was anything to gain from it. He was dying.

Imagine hearing that on it. He'd be like, wait, what? I didn't get to see my kids because of this other thing. It wasn't just because I was abusive. Finding out about Stan's condition to help Pauline get a little more closure. As he's writing a book, Run, Hide, Repeat. According to The Guardian,

since she exposed to his extraordinary fraud, Pauline has had therapy. but she believes the greatest impact on her recovery has been working on her book. Really, it's the best thing I ever did for myself to say, let's go back and look at this. And she insists that her life's good near. There are early stage discussions about adapting her memoir for the screen, but Pauline fears her story might be turned into a schlocky soap opera. I feel as though somebody would look at Stan and say,

he's the evil bad guy without acknowledging that in many ways, he played a really supportive role in my family's life, she says, and then pauses. I understand the irony of that statement, and my mother was a complex and really smart person too. I don't want to ever see her portrayed as some wacky woman who fell for a guy. Now Pauline says there's nothing she would change about her childhood,

which is fascinating. Well, it's a big, yeah, no, okay. She says, I have a great appreciation for my mum. She caused a lot of chaos, but she really did believe she was protecting us. She was gullible to this situation, but in many ways she was very wise. Right now I'm very happy and I have these two great kids

so I can't imagine wanting to change. Then a very rueful smile. But it's taken some work to get to that point. Yeah, I bet. And I guess the point is she's got kids she loves. Her life leads to that point. I don't know if I fully believe in this, but people just say if you're happy with where you are,

you can't have any regrets because everything you've done has led to this point. I reckon the best thing that her kids could say to her is that she, She's a boring mum. She's like, damn right. Yeah. Because we got a stable house. And I'm not packing shit up and taking your own road chips. Yeah, I'm a boring mom.

Yeah, that ketchup has been in the fridge for quite a while. Yeah. Can't we get a new ketchup? No, because you haven't finished that one. You don't understand how good that feels. Yeah, but if it's so old, it will literally become poisonous. Yeah. Yeah.

So let it happen. Let it happen. She's happy for the natural poison. Natural poison. To me, before it went up, I'd only read the story through to the reveal, the mafia and stuff. So I didn't realize that it was... That is. It's quite an extraordinary story.

That's an amazing tale. And so your instincts about, like, some of it feeling like bullshit were very much spot on. Yeah, your instincts the whole way through was, like, almost a boring extent where you ruined the story by predicting. It's like we were both going, maybe. Yeah, maybe. I don't think I wasn't quite on top of it. I thought they were just undercover and moving around for a long time. That's just only when you start saying, oh, these people are all doubles.

Yeah. Because surely anyone hears that and goes, really? Yeah. Yeah. Is Paul McCartney dead? Yeah, yeah. It was like it was just the story reached a bit too far. Yeah, it got just too, too, you know.

If he'd kept it, yeah, on that level, you know, yeah, she probably maybe even still believes it. It does. So many red flags when it gets that deep. And, yeah, and I was so glad to read how she found closure and that sort of stuff. The BBC article, those two main articles I read from, two of the best ones I found. Obviously, her book's also very good. But the BBC one, I think it might have been written slightly earlier. So it's not, and they didn't talk to her directly.

The Guardian ones all has a much nicer ending where she's, coming to terms with it all and she's made peace with it and made it all feel a bit better but yeah what a wild ride yeah and yeah i mean what a story her for to happen to her someone who had the skills as a journalist yeah wow it's a pretty amazing and apparently it was quite a it was a big book especially in canada sold really well there having the the smarts to like fake a break in is really clever yeah it's just such a subtle yeah like it was Perfect. Yeah.

You would believe it and he did and yeah, amazing. Yeah. Very, very clear. Wow. And you knew that story, Jess? Yeah. I think maybe I've put it up in a vote but it didn't win. Maybe.

Yeah. Or maybe I'd, yeah, I think it's, I must have seen it suggested by those who that you mentioned and done a little bit of reading. So yeah, yeah, I did know, which maybe I shouldn't have revealed. But then I just would have guessed everything right. And you would be like, how does she know? A good liar, Jess. Not a good liar.

And I can't help but, you know, want to... If you say, I don't know, what could this be, I can't help but be like, well, I reckon it's this. You're very competitive. Very competitive. It always needs to be right. As we know. Always Miss Scarlett. As we know, a very competitive person.

That was a fantastic report, Matt. Great. Honestly, I was compelled. Oh, I'm glad to hear that. Fascinating. And now it's time for everyone's favorite section of the show, the fact quote or question section. and this is where you can get involved by going to patron.com slash dogone pod, signing up on the Sydney-Sharmberg Deluxe Memorial Edition,

rest in peace level. And I think this even has a little jingle, I guess, something like this. Fact quote or question. You always remembers the ding. And when you're involved on this level, apart from getting all the benefits of the lower levels of membership or subscription or whatever you want to call it, including three bonus episodes every month,

voting rights, access to the Facebook group, weekly newsletters. I think you get to see Dave's Pecks. Is it once a month? Yes, that's right. Well, Dave's Peck. I never show the right one.

Yeah, yeah. Only the wrong one. That's for me. And on top of all that, if you're on the Sydney-Shineberg level, you get to give us a factor quote or a question. You also get to give yourself a title. And that is exactly what these,

following four people have done, including Roy A.J. Phillips. I wonder where he gets the A and the J from, maybe middle initials. Yeah, that's fun. Anthony Joseph. Oh, yeah. Roy, A.J. Roy, A.J. Phillips. Who's given himself the title of Principal Properture of Irish wristwatchers in unique New York. Oh, wow.

That's fun. Wow. I'd like to get one with a red leather or yellow leather strap. I want a reversible. Red leather, yellow, red leather. Fantastic. Roy did put in brackets. Sorry, Matt.

Been trying to trip you up for the past two or three and you haven't stumbled yet. I think I might have got through that one. Yeah, you nailed a team. You nailed it. There was no fumble at all. That's fine because as I was going on, I'm like, oh no. Where's this going? So try again, Roy.

Roy has offered us a fact. And this is Roy's fact. The canary islands off the coast of Africa are actually named after dogs, not birds. The name comes from the Latin canary insulae, which translates to Isle of Dogs. The yellow bird was named after the islands in which they are native. That is a great fact. such a good fact. Factor.

Fun? That's fun. That's fun. That is a grim. I'm so sorry. That is a grim fact. That's a banger. That's really great.

Great fact. Thanks Roy. I've got to say, would have assumed, as Roy picked, that it was named after the birds. And you know what assuming does? Mm-hmm. No.

Sorry, I wouldn't want to jump to any conclusion. There's You're learning. Thank you, Roy. The next one comes from Julian Barnes, who's given himself the title of Second Reserve Backup Dancer for Do Go On's Antarctic Concert Tour.

Oh, wow. I think that's the kind of dancing tour where you want to be on the first string because it's cold in the wings there. Oh, yeah, for sure. You want to be earning your keep by dancing in front of those hot lights just to stay alive.

Julian has a lot. also offered a fact, geez, you're coming in. What a tough slot to come in trying to back up a fact like that. Sorry, J.B. But let's see, there you go. Honestly, before even reading, I'm going to say, it's great that you've had a crack. Okay? Good on you for having a try.

And trying to back up from Roy's Canary Islands fact. I mean, good luck. But anyway, let's see, there you go. I've had a lot of trouble thinking up an interesting fact. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. You're already feeling self-conscious about it. No?

They were best under pressure. I believe in you. I should continue reading because he says, however, luckily for me, I happen to work for a company that makes the juice with the facts under the lid. Little facts.

Wow. That Spring Valley Little Facts? So handy. So I'm just going to pull a bottle off the line now and let that be the fact. That's great. There's no pressure on Julian now. He hasn't researched this.

No, it's all up to the bottle. Yeah. Factor. Fact. Fact number 187. The honeybee kills more people worldwide than all the poisonous snakes combined. Oh, sucked in snakes. Lift your game, you fucking cowards. That's a good fact. That is a grim fact. That is grim. That is grim. A grim. It's, what's great. The grimace, as just pointed out, the grimmest part about it, is it just really unveils how shit snakes are. Yeah, they're pathetic. Losers. A pack of absolute losers.

As Joe Biden once said. Thank you so much, Julian. That was a great little fact there. And this next one comes from Kelly Clark, who's given herself the title of podcast Phenomologist. Phenomenologist, sorry, that I missed a syllable there. And Kelly's written a question, remember when she first gave us to that title?

She wrote it phonetically, and I'm like, I got it anyway. And now I've, it's all come on. Kelly writes, a question. If you could change any one thing in the world, what would you change and why? Fuck, that is a very broad and hard question. Because I mean, you fix racism, but there's still poverty, you know? Yeah, well, okay.

There's still world hunger. Something like every water source is drinkable. Okay, yeah, that's good. So the human body can just drink any sort of water. Oh, that's good. So that way everyone's got clean water all the time, even ocean water. Bang. Oh, yeah, that'll solve a lot of issues.

No, no, that feels like it would help. Pools. But all of a sudden, the monkey paw thing will be that making all the oceans basically fresh water will all of a sudden, that'll totally change their ecosystems, or the fish will die and stuff like that. But even more saying, like, change the body. Yeah, we're changing humans to be able to consume. any sort of water.

You've got to get the fine print right on these. Otherwise, the genie will fuck you up. Nothing changes for them. It's just the humans. So if you are in a place where you don't have access to clean water, you've got access to any water. Go ahead and drink it. And that's from now on or are you going to grandfather that?

Wow. I don't know. I guess from now on. Yeah, because otherwise everything would be different because people would never die at sea from thirst and stuff. Yeah, it changed a lot. And obviously we need them to do that. Well, that's good.

I'm going to change the world from having inequality to not having inequality. Whoa. Okay. I don't know what the word is for that, but I like it. Yeah, I guess we'll have to come up with one now. Yes. Pioneering a world.

In this new world, we'll need a new word for in inequality. Maybe that's it, in inequality. In inequality, yeah, I like that. In inequality. In inequality. That's beautiful. I know these, the answers are probably meant to be, funny for this but i always i i've talked about this before off the pod that i have i feel some

need to answer these somewhat seriously even though it would be way more satisfying for everyone if i just gave a joke answer but even joke answers are hard to come up with oh that's true maybe it's the easy way out for me i'm taking the snakes way out being genuinely be the bee be you want to see i would um i would eradicate death oh yeah oh yeah great that has There's no problems there. I love that. Yeah. So.

Any asterics? Nothing and no one would die. So no animals? No. Wow. No plants. Can people continue to procreate? Yep.

So the world just, you know. It's going to get too much to be honest. It's going to be a bit full of. It's going to be full. But like there'll be no, there'll be less sadness. You can die of old age. Yeah. But like accidents.

If you fall off a cliff or something, you'll be like, Ow, but you don't die. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I like that. Can I change my answer? I'd like to be about five centimetres taller. Fuck, yeah, me too, actually. That'd be good.

Yeah, that would be good. I'll make the three of us all five centimeters taller. So it's still similar height hierarchy. Yeah. But I'm just a little bit taller. You know, that two inches. It has been a bit rough for me lately, Dave, because I used to be the middle toughest guy of this podcast.

And since you've recently got buff, You moved up to number two and I've dropped down in the last place and it it sucks. How's it feel down there? Well, I don't like being on the bottom wrong. You're a little runt. And I want to support you Matt but I'm just like something crazy would have to happen for me to be in your position.

So I really can't sympathise. Yeah. But you know, if you need a shoulder to cry on or a or a lip somewhere. Yeah, to be piggyback. You need to piggyback anywhere. you just let me know. Yeah. I'm here for you.

I will get on to you pretty soonish when we're leaving here today. Yeah, I'll carry you out. I'll lift. That was great. It was such a broad question, but I think we got some interesting stuff out of that. And finally, so thank you, Kelly Clark.

And finally, from Paul Jacob, who's given himself the title of CompTroller for Unusable Ideas. I try to find them a good home. That's nice. And Paul has a question. And Paul's question is, come summertime here in the US, which we are also, are we in?

We're in North America. So we're possibly, I can't tell, but we're possibly in the US, possibly in Canada. Come summertime here in the US, my family, including my wife, son and daughter, is making the move from my much beloved Michigan

to Chapel Hill, NC. Oh, North Carolina. Oh, North Carolina. Oh, wow. I had a thought that there's got to be a way that we can bring an end to this. What if someone wrote like a sitcom style theme song about that fact that we just played at any time? What about that? But it only goes like seven seconds. Yeah, that would be handy. Yeah, that would be good if someone could just... Michael Jordan played for North Carolina and he wore his North Carolina shorts under Chicago Bull Shorts. And now everyone else wore long shorts as a result.

But then the end. Someone called me out on this on Twitter recently, like, not forever because the shorts have slowly gotten smaller again since then with fashion. So you're right? And that was genuinely my favourite I'm actually, because I'm like, hey, you are right. Because you see, 90s, early 2000, shorts are so big. Yeah. Everything, you know, goes retro and stuff, and they are starting to go back again.

Anyway, sorry, Paul, I got distracted there. He goes on a right, wondering if you are aware of any fun facts from that area. For instance, in Chapel Hill, fire engines have been Carolina Blue and not the traditional red since 1996. Oh, that is a great fact. Well, there's different. Paul, do you mind if I, maybe that's the new fact. Because I can say that way more succinctly. So we do the handover now?

The funny thing I know about North Carolina is, and then, yeah. And it would be fun because the people who don't listen to this section of the show, all of a sudden, I'll bring up a new North Carolina fact. I like it, the rebrand. Paul, thank you so much for that. And that's a fun fact too. Because I had that thought during the week, I'm like, it'd be great to put it to rest in some sort of a Michael Jordan episode.

But that chance has passed. That has happened. I'm so sorry. Unless I do a specific episode about shorts. Yeah. It might be a mini episode, to be honest. Anyway, Paul, good luck with that move. Yeah, big move.

Michigan to Chapel Hill. Chapel Hill sounds, I think there's a winery in Australia called Chapel Hill. Beautiful. So there are our facts, quotes and questions for this week, or facts and questions. We'll get a quote next week, I'm sure. Looking ahead, they're all facts. Anyway, we now get to thank a few of our other great Patreon supporters.

And we normally do a little game here where just comes up with something we can give our patrons based on the topic we just did. We could say where they've moved in two steps. Oh, great. And then relate it back to Australia. Preferably just keep them all in Australia, to be honest, just so I can understand. They're all Melbourne, Adelaide, Perth. Yeah. Or Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane. Don't burn them. That's two we've burnt now.

Oh, okay. Or Adelaide, Alice Springs, Darwin. All right. So, first off, if I may kick us off. Please. I'd love to thank from Schofields in New South Wales, Australia, Kirsten Gleason. Kirsten Gleason. Well, obviously living in Schofields now, but moved there from Orange. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay.

And before that... Wagga, wogga? Wogga. Wow. Imagine if we were right. Wouldn't that be crazy? That would be amazing. Let us know.

Let us know if we're right. Everybody. Everyone. Don't tell us if we're wrong. Yeah, only if we're right. We're assuming we're wrong, but if we're right, let us know. Yeah. I'm looking up Schofield.

That's sort of in the... That's northwest. Northwestern Sydney suburbs, I'd say. Yeah, north of Blacktown. Yep. Yeah, cool. I haven't heard of Schofields before. Sounds nice.

Looks like on the maps. It looks like a lovely part of the world. I would also love to thank from New Plymouth in New Zealand. Sorry, New Zealand. It's not funny. I did not mean to say it like that. In New Zealand, Melissa Peters. Melissa Peters.

MP. Okay, move there. Started out in Cairns. Okay. Yeah. Then moved. Yep. We really want to cover the tracks here.

Moved to Namibia. Whoa. Southern Africa. Yes. Kept going around the world to New Zealand. Good luck, Mafia, tracking me. Yeah, good luck. Nice try.

Where's New Plymouth? I really love New Zealand. I'm so glad that we're, that's somewhere we're going to be able to visit before too long. Yeah, that would be really nice. I just want to jump in one of those big jet planes. and fly away for two or three hours however long it takes you get at four or five it's not far maybe not even it's not a long flight it's not long it's about the same as to

Sydney I think or maybe it's less than Perth though yeah yeah let's double it put in terms of understanding more than Sydney but less than Perth thank you so much Melissa Peters and I'd also love to thank from Pakenham out in the suburbs of Melbourne in Victoria Australia Joshua Berg von Linda Oh, that's a great name, Josh. J.BV.L. Okay, so in Pakenham, do you want to have a go, Matt? Yeah, sure.

Okay, from Pakenham, working in reverse order, obviously a stopover in a Chuka on the Mighty Murray River. Coming from inland from Broken Hill. Oh, okay. In New South Wales? Yeah. Which I think, I don't know if I re-learned already knew, but B-HP, the B-H and that is Broken Hill. Oh, there you go. Broken Hill.

Petroleum. Petroleum. People. People. Broken Hill people. It was actually started by Broken Hill people. It's crazy. J.B.V.L.

Thanks so much. I would love to thank some people if I may. Please. I would love to thank. from Lancaster. What's K.Y. In the US? It's like Kentucky?

Kentucky? Kentucky, I reckon. Oh, I'd love to thank Justin Nichols. Justin Nichols. Justin Nichols. So in Kentucky now came from Pennsylvania. Okay. And before that, Washington.

D.C. Oh, okay. Heard of it. So it started sort of in a couple of stops in the north. North East. Am I saying that right, Dave? Yeah, starting the capital. Pennsylvania. Yeah.

And then down to Kentucky, which is somewhere in the middle part. Southern middle, is it? Or southern east? I don't understand geography. So don't look at me with that face. I'm trying to learn. Is this right? I don't fucking know.

Broken Hill Proprietry Company Limited. That makes sense. Cop that, C and L. Oh, proper. Oh, gotcha. So thank you to Justin. I would also love to thank from Belmain in New South Wales. I'd love to thank Matt Rowe.

Matt Rowe. Matt Rowe. Sounds like a dog saying, oh, oh. Matt Rowe. Matt Rowe. You know, your dog saying that. Something's about to happen. Something bad is happening.

There is someone breaking in. Matt Rowe. You are in danger. Right now. So in Belmain currently. Belmain, obviously, that's one half of my, NRL rugby team was a merge between the West's and Balmain, I think. I'm obviously a big hardcore fan of the team.

I think that's where they get the Tigers from, West's Tigers. Oh, okay. They used to be the West's magpies and the Belmain Tigers. Fun fact right there. Yeah, that's grim. That is grim. I wonder if Matt Rowe is also a Tigers man. Well, he is actually because before living in Belmain, he was living in Richmond.

Oh. Here in Melbourne. Right. And before that, living in Hamilton, where the tiger cats of play in Canada. Nailed it. Wow. And before that, Siberia.

Is there a Siberian tiger? No, it's a dog. Husky. So similar. Thank you very much, Matt. I'd also, finally for me, I would love to thank from Grimsby in Lincolnshire, Great Britain. I like that movie.

I would love to thank Michael Colbrook. Michael Colbrook. All right. Well, now lives in Grimsby. Before that, lived in Iceland. What's the city in Iceland, Dave? Reckievic. Or my, what was that one called?

Vic. This one just called Vic. Vic. V. V. V. Big V. So, lived in Vic in Iceland.

Before that, lived in... the town where they filmed northern exposure in, which was set in Alaska, but I don't know when they filmed it. Great. That's a good reference then. No one's going to be able to track you if people don't know. Yeah, if you don't know. Because, you know, it's like, often they'll just, yeah, unlikely they probably filmed in Alaska. They normally filmed somewhere else, right?

Yeah, probably like a sound stage. Yeah. And in LA. There you go. Thank you, Michael Colbrook. Thank you, Michael Colbrook. And a couple of little fact checks here. There is the Siberian tiger.

There we go. Great work. That would have, yeah, I love it. Getting in before and I'm actually is always satisfied. Kentucky is a lot more central than we all would have imagined. So there you go. Well, I'd like to thank from San Antonio, Texas. I would like to thank Rochnie Ray.

Rojnee Ray. Well, that's a good. That rolls off the dunga, isn't it? Yeah, it's beautiful. Roche-N-Roy. So now in San Antonio, but I think started up in Canada in Newfoundland. Yep. Moved over to Old Paris.

Oh, hello. Had a little Parisian jort. Learned a little bit of French, conversational. Yes. Enough to get by. And then has brought that back to the streets of San Antonio, Texas. Oh, great. Putting it to good use.

Go Spurs. Northern exposure. Sounds like it was filmed in Washington. Oh, which one? The state? State. In Rosalind, the main street looks like it was Roslyn, Washington. And the main production facility was located in Redmond, Washington.

Huh. There you go. Isn't that fun? It's fun. That's grim. Thank you, Ross, near. I appreciate your support from San Antonio. I'd also like to think now from...

Austin, Texas. I'm wearing an Austin hat. A couple of Texans. Look at me. I'm wearing an Austin hat. Oh, hello. Who's this? Hey, hello.

Oh, is Adele wearing a hat walking down the streets of Texas. My computer is Adele. I would like to thank now from Austin. Briann Wharton. Oh. Thank you so much, Brian Warren. I'm going to guess that's Brianne. I wonder if Brianne.

Breanne. I wonder if you're at the Fun Fun Fun Fun Festival in 23rd. We'd have seen you there. Oh, wow. Off the stage, there was a few things that blew my mind back in 2013, including a burrito gun that they shot from the stage. What does that mean? They shot burritos into the crowd from the stage with a burrito gun.

I've never heard of that. Were they hot? Yeah, well, they were hot-ish. Did you catch one? Yeah. How many were they giving away a lot? Yeah, they were just, I've got a video of it. They made a great sound as they shot out of it.

I've never heard of that. I love it. That's wild. That's good fun. That blew your mind in 2030 and that blew my mind in 2020. And I wasn't even there. You say that like it was before we had that at our festival here in Australia. Yeah, but back in the day, it was the first time I'd seen one.

Broader guns, you know, I've been held up at Baratogun Point. Oh, real. I see him all the time these days. So Brianne Wharton, thank you so much. Where's Brianne come from to get to Austin, Texas? Did she work away around Texas? or maybe she came from other festivals. She originated in Meredith in country Victoria.

Oh, fantastic. Beautiful part of the world. Then God's country. Oh, yeah. He went over to Glastonbury in the UK. Yep. Before ending up in the fun, fun, fun capital of the world, Austin, Texas, which also has an even more famous music festival,

the South by Southwest Festival. Oh, yep. So just chasing that endless summer of music. Yeah, fantastic. Love that. You know what you like. I love it. So thanks, Brian.

Kathy Gribble is who I'd like to think. Next, who's from Maryville in Tennessee. Oh, Kathy Gribble. Gribble is a fantastic name. It's a great name. One of the families from Around the Twist, the Gribbles. Oh, that's great. All right.

Places with lighthouses. Oh, okay. We're starting out at Aries Inlet. Airy's Inlet, yes. Is that the Round the Twist one? Yeah, great. All right, I'm out. There's a Cape.

Pot-Way one? Oh, fantastic. I was going to say the Lighthouse of Alexandria, which is one of the ancient wonders of the world, which no longer exists. Oh, okay. So you've been around for all, Kathy. But no, K-P-Up Way.

I love that. K-P-Way? Similar part of the world, yeah. And then finishing up in Maryville, Tennessee, which I'm almost certain has a lot. It must. It simply must. Yes.

The country music capital. Despite almost certainly being landlocked. Yeah, but you've got to look out for things coming. So maybe they've got an observatory of some kind. Oh, I love an observatory. So there you go. Thank you so much to Kathy Briann,

Roshney, Michael, Matt, Justin, Joshua, Melissa and Kirsten. And we've also got one last bit of business to do when thanking our supporters. These, all the names we're reading out right now. We, you know,

they're responsible for keeping this show going. So thank you so much to all of them. but we also like to thank some of our longer-term supporters as we welcome them into the Triptitch Club. Supporters who have been supporting us on the shout-out level or above for three years straight, they get a one-way ticket into the Triptage Club and they've got lifetime membership once inside

and how it normally works. I'm standing on the door with the clipboard with the door list. I'll lift up the velvet rope. Send them in. One's sticking them off the list. Dave will then hype them up. Jess hypes Dave hype work. Jess has also got a drink and an hors d'oeuvre ready to go.

Dave's booked a band. Who have we got this week, Dave? We've got Peter Bjorn and John playing that song, Young Folk over and over and over again. Lots of whistling. So everyone gets to have a go. Yeah, great. So basically what they do,

they play the song and they get a different member of the Tribes Club up to do the whistle part. Oh, great. So everyone's cycles. Do you have to participate if you don't want to? No. Right. Yeah, you can absolutely. What if you can't whistle and it's quite upsetting for you that everyone else can?

Oh, well, you don't have to get involved. That's fine. Okay. There's also a guitar you can play. Oh, that's fun. What about like a little tambourine? Yeah, yeah. Obviously, some of them might not whistle or play guitar. So there's a tambourine.

Yeah, perfect. Something that any idiot can do. And, yeah. I say that as the person who played the tambourine in my high school band. Are you serious? Yeah. I mean, I played the keyboard in the band too, but in parts of there was not required. that's okay.

Yeah, it was pretty rock and roll. I thought it was just tambourine, which would have been awesome. I've written that in. A bit of Beethoven here. Tamborraine solo. Have you got a drink? Well, I was thinking ketchup,

which then made me think Tabasco, so I'm thinking Bloody Mary's. Which we might have done before, but there's only limited drinks, you jerks. And also, you can't say no to a classic. Bloody delicious. So Bloody Mary's, snack-wise, hot dogs with ketchup and mustard on them.

Oh, fantastic. Is there two, one that's been refrigerated and one that hasn't? Yeah, so you can choose. Thanks. The right or the wrong one. Whichever that may be. Yeah, exactly. Well, that just leaves me to lift up the velvet rope.

And welcome in from Ilkeston in Derbyshire, Great Britain. It's Adam Legg. Who needs a leg up when you've got Adam Leggy? Yes. I don't know if I believe Jess that time, Dave. Honestly, I zoned out for a second there. There was poor timing on my part. I absolutely did as well.

That's why there was a pause for me. It wasn't me thinking. Where did we both go? I was thinking, is this Uber driver dropping this food off or not? Adam Leigh, give us a leg up, mate. You are an absolute champion. Adam, you legend. Thanks so much for all your support over the last three years, Adam, you bloody.

Leg short for legend. Thank you. Yes. Well, that pretty much brings us to the end of this. Was that the only one? Yeah, the one. I did so now. Thank you so much, Adam.

You are a legend. Wow. Yeah, so if you want to get in touch with us, we're on all the normal social media, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn at Do Go OnPod. That's like, we're always putting up jobs for interns. We should get a LinkedIn.

Well, so on YouTube at Do Go On Pod. We've got a Gmail at Do Go On Pod. We've got a website, dogoonpod.com. We've got, there's other podcast in this network, including Listen Now, which is back, going through the most popular, according to our listeners, albums of the 80s, rock albums. This week's about the Smith's Meet His Murder.

Dave, what do you got to book cheat out this week or last week? Yes, absolutely. The most recent one. Oh, my God, absolutely. I was with Chapteris and Nick Kappa, and we were talking about the ancient Greek play, Medea, which is, yeah, 2,400 years in the making of that episode. Wow.

And? I studied that in year 11. Oh, and was it good? Yeah, is right. And primate... I mean, it was intriguing. That's right. I've only had a podcast to break it down.

Finally, there was some fun podcasts I can listen to about. Just that. Primates has continued to work through the Umbrella Academy. This is three episodes left of the Umbrella Academy season. to go through before primates goes back on hiatus. So check all those out as well. And yeah, Patreon, like we said, is

Digon, no, Patreon.com slash digon pod. Yeah, that's absolutely right. Great. Fantastic. Now, boot this baby home, Davey. Well, we'll be back next week with another episode. But if you want to get in before we actually release it, you can watch it as part of the live stream. Just coming up this Friday night in Melbourne time,

but there is a link to the SOS presents.com where it will tell you where in the world. Well, it won't tell you where in the world you are. We'll tell you what time it is everywhere all over the world. So you can see that. And you can also watch the episode we just recorded, plus an over half hour extra of bonus bits by buying a ticket to that one year.

Even if you get the season passed now, you get all four for the price of three. That's right. The last, I reckon it would be well over half an hour extra. We did a Q&A. We talked some absolute trash before the podcast as well. And then next week's one, yeah, is going to be.

be a bonus podcast which is exclusive to the live stream and you can get a season pass which is discounted three for the price of four and you can watch them four for the price of three and you can always say that way and you can watch it as many times you like it remains up you get you get your login and you can yes see it up there on the sauce presents website so you watch it one minute a day for many many days for about six months well not quite a few months anyway. But thanks so much for listening. We'll be back next week, like we say.

But until then, keep well. I'll say thanks and goodbye. Later. Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are

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