Do Go On - 269 - The Rendlesham Forest Incident

Episode Date: December 16, 2020

It's been referred to as “Britain’s Roswell” and is very very tenuously linked to Christmas, so this years Chrishmish episode is about the Rendlesham Forest Incident! In 1980, several American S...ervicemen saw some very bright lights... a UFO? A lighthouse? A car? What were those lights!?Buy tickets to our live streamed shows (including the full extended stream of this episode!):https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoonSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodCheck out our AACTA nominated web series: https://www.youtube.com/user/stupidoldchannel Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: dogoonpod@gmail.comCheck out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rendlesham_Forest_incidenthttps://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-suffolk-51565054http://www.therendleshamforestincident.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at doogawonpod.com. At Nordstrom, you can shop the best holiday gifts for everyone you love.
Starting point is 00:00:35 All in one place. You'll find beauty favorites, cozy presents, fun ideas under 100 and more. Like festive dressing for you in your home, experience the magic at your favorite store. Or order on Nordstrom.com with free shipping and returns. Need it faster? Pick up your order today in store. The best gifts are yours at Nordstrom. This episode is brought to you by Progressive.
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Starting point is 00:01:39 consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career and a rewarding field with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to another episode of To Go On. My name is Dave Warner and as always
Starting point is 00:02:32 I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hey, I'm Matt Stewart. Welcome to Christmas. And I am Jess Perkins and I just also wanted to say welcome to Christmas. Well, if I could correct both of you and say welcome everybody to Krish Mish. I knew we'd say it wrong. This is our, we shouldn't be getting wrong. I can't believe this. Our sixth annual Christmas episode now. Which doesn't make any sense.
Starting point is 00:02:57 It's amazing. Name a mole, Jess. What have we done? So people, fuck a night. Because you know around the world, it's people, Christmas traditions or Krish Mish tradition of listening to the marathon. So it starts with Santa Claus
Starting point is 00:03:09 And origin story then I think maybe Francis evils Anna Then we did Christmas Christmas mysteries This is part one part one. That was the one where halfway we did live in Brisbane and I realized Midpoint that it was a bit too grim. It was the most grim live report we'd done up until that point, but don't worry. We did serial killer special ones. Just a doctor death.
Starting point is 00:03:34 It was not good. That one was only ever released to the patrons. The only people who could handle it. So that's the first reason there was Christmas missus PUT2. Yes, that's right. Which included a wide diehard is a Christmas movie. Yes. The war minster thing and the egg nog right.
Starting point is 00:03:51 And then, what was the one after that? Oh, what was their life on in London? Yeah, that's right. We all did a mini Christmas topic each. Uh, did we? Yes. Oh, yeah, I did one about Christmas land. Yeah, a place in North America. Yeah, that's right That was a lot of fun and I did the Stone of Scone Hust
Starting point is 00:04:13 Where on Christmas Day they stole the great story famous stone of scone from Westminster and just what did you do? No Michael What did you do? No idea. No idea. Michael Boone. Michael Boone. You did play. Short history.
Starting point is 00:04:25 That's right. Michael, what's that? I was starting that expecting not to get through, but we did very well. We got this. So if you do want to do the marathon leading up to this episode, you can go back and listen to all of those. They're all in the usual feed.
Starting point is 00:04:38 But Jess has a report this week on a, another Christmas topic that Matt and I are unaware of. So how the show works is, we take it into as a report on a topic. It's not always Christmas themes, but once a year it is and it's just a turn. We always start the show with a question to get us on to topic. Yes, and my question is, what Boxing Day event has been referred to as Britain's Roswell? Oh, Boxing Day event. Britain's Roswell. It's not the warm-inster thing. It's not. It easily could have been though.
Starting point is 00:05:12 You would separate from him. I would not have known. Is it something we would have heard of? Probably not. It's not. It's like the blob or the happening. It's not the happening. The occurrence. It's an incident. Oh, OK. There's something incident. The felching incident. They, I thought we'd never talk about that. We agreed.
Starting point is 00:05:36 We said we'd never discuss that. No, it is the Rendlesham Forest incident. Oh, but I don't know this one, but I love anything that's listed as an incident with a forest Oh, I mean on a forest so whereabouts in is it? It's in the UK. Oh, yeah, I British forest. Yeah, that's like Robin Hood hang there and there yeah Etc Etc
Starting point is 00:05:58 Marion made Marion probably fairies goblins hop goblins Needs all of them and involved and they're all there. Well, I mean, well, it's an incident. That's a thing. We're not sure. Oh, okay. So maybe it is, sport goblins. So what I did was, because we're in Europe, I thought I'll find a Christmas topic that is set in Europe.
Starting point is 00:06:18 And I put three up to the patrons to vote on. And one of them, extremely Christmassy, has been suggested easily a dozen times and would be a really wholesome, easy report to do, a nice Christmas story. Did that get voted for? Absolutely not. Oh no. This one did, and there's a pretty good reason why. But it's also a story that there isn't heaps of information on and the main source, or not the main source, but one of the main sources I was able to find was the
Starting point is 00:06:49 RendoShem Forest Incident.com, who... Oh, they got the dot com. And let's just say, like, whoever's behind that website definitely has their opinions and it's not the most balanced reporting, you know. But that knowing what this is about, I'm intrigued. That's so fast. Are we imagining the kind of website that hasn't been updated in about 15 to 20 years? Oh, maybe not 15 to easily 10.
Starting point is 00:07:16 Okay, love that. Has been updated for a while. Look, I've got plenty of excerpts from that website, so you'll get a feel for the writer for sure. But... They're like having a big at the neighboring town or something. Yeah, I sure feel it's got a shit-football team anyway. Anyway. Not that I'm biased, and it's like,
Starting point is 00:07:34 oh, reckon you might be a little bit. This one's been suggested only three times in the hat by Brian Blunt, Robin, and Aaron Wolfe. So thank you to those for your suggestion. So Matt asked where it was. Well, Rendez from Forest is a large pine forest, east of Ipswich in Suffolk in England. And nearby are the Twin NATO air bases,
Starting point is 00:08:00 RAF bent waters and RAF wood bridge. And in the early 80s, both bases were being leased to the United States Air Force. There we go. The bodies, suppose, coming in, taken up the UK forest, say, I don't know, what, hey, what a, hey, whatever Uncle Sam wanted in. Has he taken out his clear bit of the forest land? Has he, yeah, or was he got, was he's taken that is clear to the first land as he was he got Oh, was he got a couple of his ace polyphoders up and about as he oh here we go Here we go. Hey, what about us? Hey, we were there in the beginning. We settled you didn't we and now it's all of a sudden
Starting point is 00:08:39 You're an out home town. Well fair enough. We did we We did in reverse. You've come back. Apologies. Oh, I proceed. I love that. Wow. Just this is the kind of unbiased reporting that this website gives us. Let's let's rambling somehow. Wow. So this is this is from the Randall Shroom Forest Incident.com. It was the early hours of December 26, 1980. Staff Sergeant Jim Peniston, the on-judi flight chief for the Woodbridge Base, was enjoying a midnight snack when he received a call from Security Center, telling him, airman first class, Cabin Sag, incredible name, was on his way to collect him.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Now, a few questions there, what kind of name is Cabin sag? Don't know, what love saying it. That's all one word, Cabin sag. What's he having for a midnight snack? It doesn't say we can only assume crisps. Okay. I mean, what else can I have a midnight, you know? I mean, you get a bit thirsty with crisps, so I reckon.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Maybe it's a dark chocolate. Oh yeah. A little bit of duck sugar. I've got a dinner mint. Oh yeah, yeah. bit of a duck sugar. I got it. I got it at dinner mint. Oh yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:49 I mean, at midnight, something after dinner. I stand corrected. But yeah, I mean, his name's wild, but also his title. Cabin First Class, whatever it was. Amin First Class. Cabin First Class. I was thinking of where he was staying. The first class, Cabin.
Starting point is 00:10:03 So, peniston, was then instructed to meet up with two of the bases military police, Staff Sergeant Bud Stephens, an Airman first class John Burrows. When they met Stephens and Burrows told him, they'd seen some strange lights over the forest and that there might be a problem. Okay. A lot problem. Thinking that the men may have seen a downed aircraft,
Starting point is 00:10:24 Peniston told Burorrow's that they should go and investigate. Peniston was shocked when he heard Stephens insist that it couldn't have been a crash because he'd already seen the strange light actually land. A weirdly worded sentence also names spelled differently each time. Wow. Strange light landing. It's seen the strange light land.
Starting point is 00:10:44 I've made, made you have a torch and you point it down. Is it landing on the ground? Yeah, it's the light that's shining from these lights. We're near. That's landing on your face. Bouncing off that landing. I guess it is. It's landing all over you, man. If I was riding in some sort of old, Yoldy poetic style, maybe you would say that. The light of Yonder, Sun, Lands, on the shore before me. That's pretty good, I think. Pretty good. Yeah. Put on your tombstone.
Starting point is 00:11:19 Yes, please. Thank you. With a torch. That just sort of hangs on a weird little tripod next to his grave. And then we have to go every night to turn on the torch. Change the batteries. Once a night, man. You are. You want it in your will though?
Starting point is 00:11:36 Bird and some in life and in there. Come on. Give us a break. Just die quietly. No, I will not go quietly into your Would you want us Matt if I the ability to I'd haunt you though with fun and secrets from beyond that's nice I was like, well, I guess I wouldn't lie to me. A strange voice in my head said, don't waste time, come join. So peniston, cabin sag and burrows jumped into a vehicle and went out to have a look.
Starting point is 00:12:18 There, they saw a really bright light shining through the trees. Has it landed? Like, but it's like real bright. Landing through the trees. It's like super bright. It's like abnormally bright, you know? Right, like spotlight bright. Someone's left there, headlights on.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Oh, high beams are on. High beams. Oh no. Come on. And you can't even lift the look of your high beams to try. Yeah. Hey, just a subtle reminder. Hey.
Starting point is 00:12:41 Hey, high beams are on. Hey, minor on. Minor on. Fuck you, I'm blunt. Fuck you. No, fuck you. Fuck you. Hey, hey, hey, my bed's dry. Mine are on, mine are on, fuck you, I'm blinding you back. Fuck you. No, fuck you. Fuck you. No, fuck you.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Driving with Jage is a lot of fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just check it. Yeah, I'm an anger. I do a lot of mors. Get fucked. Dick. And fuck.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Fuck you. I was once driving with our friend Nick, a longer road, not far from here, and two cars in a row flash me. And I said something to Nick like, just because they're driving like bloody cowards, taking their time around down this narrow road, and they're flashing me because I'm sort of just getting it done.
Starting point is 00:13:22 And then, not long after, I realized my lights went on. So, they were just... They were just... They were just... They were... I'm trying to save ours and their lights. Yeah, I'm gonna just leave it in my lights when I'm...
Starting point is 00:13:36 She's... I don't know why, but when I see cars at night without their lights on, that angers me quickly. You know, high beams and stuff, you can forget they're on okay, whatever, we can pass each other. But lights are like, tell you fucking lights on dickhead, come on, I don't know why.
Starting point is 00:13:51 So it was probably me flashing you that time. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm fair enough. That was a few years ago, I've learnt from those mistakes. I'd no longer hang out with Nick Kappa. For one. Don't drive at night. Okay, so they've jumped into the car they're out to have a look. There's a bright light.
Starting point is 00:14:08 And as I got further into the thick forest, it became too hard to drive, so they got out of the vehicle and continued on foot. As I got closer to the light, they started to have problems with their radios. Oh, right. So not only light, but sound. Oh, no, suddenly smooth airfamer starts playing. No, no, no. Two blaze on smooth air hammer starts playing. No, no, stop that. Two blaze on, don't throw nose. Yeah, they're just having a minute, you hit.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Oh. Oh, voice of an angel though. Yeah, tell you what, I'd be worried if I'd just died. The voice of an angel coming at me. Yeah, you're on the line. It's going to be a lot. No, no, no, bro lighting, Boobla is singing too. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:14:43 Am I in heaven? Is it time? When Peniston got to a distance of 50 meters, he could make out a metallic type object, some kind of craft, but unlike any he had ever seen in his seven years in the Air Force. As he moved closer, he discovered that the air seemed to be charged with static electricity causing his hair
Starting point is 00:15:03 to stand on end. As he closed to within 20 metres of the object, he noticed that the animals had scattered and the area was now completely quiet. As he got closer, he could see the object in more detail. He described seeing a shiny black triangular-shaped craft, three metres in width and two high. The surface was smooth, almost glass-like. He later said it was about the size of a tank. White light was emitting from both the top and bottom of the craft, and red and blue lights flashed alternatively on either side.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Whoa. Yeah, this just sounds like one of those fancy Tom Cruise planes from Top Gun. Yeah. A plane. A plane. Oh, one of the stealth ones. One of those triangle ones. Yeah. Red and blue lads.
Starting point is 00:15:51 That's just bloody God bless America sort of stuff. I reckon this is a plane. A plane. And also, he's seven years in the Air Force. And he can't recognize a plane. And he can't recognize a plane. And he can't recognize a plane. And he can't recognize a plane.
Starting point is 00:16:03 And he can't recognize a plane. And he can't recognize a plane. And he can't recognize a plane. And he can't recognize a plane. And he can't recognize a plane. And he can't recognize it. You see when he quotes something like that, it's like, I haven't seen anything like this in my 34 years. Yeah. Seven years. It was just a new plane. Yeah. Straight off the bloody line. You've only seen the old ones.
Starting point is 00:16:14 What they saw, or I've already described it, Penicin took out a camera and began photographing the object. He shot the entire role of film and then moved closer so he could circle around the back of it. Okay, shot the entire role of film then got close enough to take a good photo. Yeah, good. I went, damn. Oh, I wish I had more film with me.
Starting point is 00:16:37 All of it was, he shot 30 selfies facing away from the craft. So he's his reaction. Yeah, 30 times. But you saw his face. You're like, well, he means that. He saw something. Yeah, he definitely saw something. Saw something. You can't fake that kind of no, no, that's not it. No, I can see it in his eyes. He was amazed to see no visible means of propulsion. Nor was there any obvious signs of conventional manufacture. No seams or rivets. By now and in complete awe of what this object might be,
Starting point is 00:17:07 he courageously placed his hand on its surface. No, no, that's not a good idea. Which he said felt warm despite the freezing night of an English winter. Sliding his hand over the smooth exterior, he discovered a series of raised symbols etched onto its left-hand side. The symbols, which he later drew, were about three inches high
Starting point is 00:17:26 and covered an area of about three feet in diameter. When Sergeant Peniston put his hand on the etched symbols, which felt like sandpaper compared to the rest of the smooth, moulded surface, everything became a brilliant bright white. He could neither see nor hear. He was alone in the brilliant bright white light. Oh no, so and I and then he pans out and I've accidentally taken my shirt off Oh
Starting point is 00:17:56 What things do you accidentally take your shirt? Oh, no, it is you taking your jumper off in the t-shirt with it Exactly and that bright light landed on my torso Yeah, and he went oh my god, it's a brilliant bright light. I'm alone in this brilliant bright light jump off in the t-shirt with it. Exactly. And that dry light landed on my torso. Yeah. And he went, oh my God, it's a brilliant bright light. I'm alone in this brilliant bright light. And you're like, oh, sorry. So I'm sorry. Happened to give.
Starting point is 00:18:13 Down. Goes away. And the light always gets stuck there. So annoying. This occurred for an undetermined amount of time. Then his sight returned. He was standing next to the craft, facing the pictorial glyphs. The craft started to turn a vivid bright white color.
Starting point is 00:18:33 So bright, in fact, Sergeant Penderson, a peniston thought it was going to explode. He took a defensive position nearby, as the craft was engulfed in the light. The craft then lifted off approximately four feet from the ground, manoeuvred between the trees, ascended to tree top level and then disappeared in the blink of an eye. I really hope his defensive position was thinking it was going to explode, yeah, like fist ready or had his gun pulled.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Ready. Or it probably would have been me, it would just be. Yeah, ball, absolutely that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that.
Starting point is 00:19:11 Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I would say inside. Okay, well it sounds like he's got some talents. He was absolutely certain it was under intelligent control. Certain. As opposed to the sense that.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Absolutely certain. Yeah, it wasn't some goons driving it. Or some, some media, some dumb alien. Yeah, that was like a smart alien, I think. For sure. He gets a sense that, that sounds great, I'll be into it Well, and you know the when the radio started to to Not work
Starting point is 00:19:51 The the website Says electronic interference is commonly reported in the vicinity of UFOs So it's not worthy well molder, there's probably a scientific explanation. No, Scully. Use your mind. All right. I guess he's probably right, because he always is. Fucking right. Good, Tim. Oh, funny right.
Starting point is 00:20:16 So this isn't the... And that alien did pregnant me that time, too. But still... I still don't know. This is in the way hours of the morning, right? This is about 3am when all of this happened. Shortly after 4am, local police arrived at the scene. Now police had a look around, but reported that the only lights they could see were lights
Starting point is 00:20:34 from the Orphaness Lighthouse, several miles away on the coast. You can see the light in the distance. Orphaness Lighthouse, which skeptics identifies a flashing light seen off the coast, is along the same line of sight, about five miles or eight kilometers further east of the forest edge, and at that time, it was one of the brightest lighthouses in the UK, and I hope they had a plaque on the wall, so I wanted one of the brightest. Yeah, one of the number two. A lot of two or three.
Starting point is 00:21:00 We haven't checked in a while. We haven't bothered checking in a while. It's not five, easy. Right, so that's an explosion of a pretty bright light though. Yeah, but it's a landing. I mean, you see a lighthouse. You know it's a lighthouse, right? Lighter.
Starting point is 00:21:18 And then you don't think, you don't touch your triangles. Somehow you touch a smooth triangle thing with some raised lettering and go. It's a lighthouse over there. It's a lighthouse. There is a lighthouse over there. The lighthouse is very good. It explains the light maybe.
Starting point is 00:21:34 Yeah. But the rest of it, I think almost doesn't explain it at all. No. Jess from Army, what's this got to do with Christmas? It happened on Boxing Day. Gotcha. But like so early in Boxing do with Christmas? It happened on Boxing Day. Gotcha. So early in Boxing, it was like three hours into Boxing Day. Right.
Starting point is 00:21:49 So it's basically Christmas day. Technically, couldn't be any further from Christmas, because it's the furthest point away from Christmas. From the next Christmas. From the next Christmas. That's right. And that's what our dear dear patrons wanted to hear. And I will never disappoint them.
Starting point is 00:22:07 You shouldn't either. I never will. You made an oath with blood. So many times I've wanted to. I've wanted to disappoint the patrons. And then there I go, not disappointing them again. But I can't help you, sir. Oh God, it's hard being me.
Starting point is 00:22:24 So the servicemen decided, hey, we can't see anything in the dark. Let's wait until it's daytime. So after daybreak, they went back to where they were a few hours earlier, and now in the light they could see properly. They found three small impressions on the ground in a triangular pattern, as well as burn marks and broken branches on nearby trees. What impressions they find? Markle Cain? Yep. Oh, impresses they find? Michael Cain?
Starting point is 00:22:45 Yep. Oh, alo, I'm Michael Cain. Yep. Who else they find? Sean Connery. Sean Connery. Oh, alo, I'm Sean Connery. And Christopher Walken.
Starting point is 00:22:56 Oh, alo, I'm Chris, I'm all. God, you look good. That was a three-day fan. Yeah, yeah. And they were all that good. Yeah, in the sort of spot on. The English forest. So good that they're almost like, there must be another species.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Yeah, right. No human could imitate. Yeah. The three great. That's a type of animal we're not aware of. Wow. A type of bird. A wristwatch.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Wow, Sean Connery. Yeah. Amazing. I'm James Bond. I got a Ritz-Wash. That's one of my kids who are talking about James Bond. He was saying a little something. I'm Bond. I'm James Bond. Why is it Fipe's arm so much?
Starting point is 00:23:41 That's all part of it. He can't do it without that. He can't do it without that. Well that was... So I can't do it without that. Who am I? Who am I to judge? He's setting up. Nobody.
Starting point is 00:23:51 You're no one. I'm not. That was amazing. I'd take people on a journey. Yeah. I hang around with Ben Russell a bit earlier tonight. I just rubbed off on him. Well, he's a master impressionist, but now I'm son of teach him a thing or two.
Starting point is 00:24:04 Yeah, that's right. Can he make a thousand noises? Didn't think so. So yeah, they found some some burn marks, broken branches, these little impressions. So they call the police out again and the police reckon it's made by an animal. Okay. Police like, like a triangle animal. Yeah. Knowing that he would need some physical evidence of this encounter,
Starting point is 00:24:28 Peniston returned to the landing site the following day to make plaster casts of the indentations. He also apparently experienced a strange condition. He was seeing ones and zeros in his mind's eye. Whoa, he went digital. That's why before TV did it. Before Matrix and everything. Yeah, that's cool.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Troubled by the revolving flashing images of ones and zeros, he received from touching the glyphs. He felt compelled to write them down in a notebook. And after he'd written them down, the images in his mind would disappear. Ah, okay, that makes sense. It's like whenever a song stuck in the head but if you hear it again somehow you don't have it there. You write it down or not. Yeah, that's right. You get it down. You got to write the whole song down. Yeah. Yeah. Take
Starting point is 00:25:15 stages. Oh, come on, blue, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, double, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, take almost a week off. Yeah, but you'll be here on something right? Obviously. You'll be over by then. Yeah. The day of the Lord. I mean, yeah, those ones and zeros that you said you had in your mind. You've written them down. You sound like you've absolutely lost it. You'll be good by six days time. You'll be fine for military
Starting point is 00:25:58 service in six days, right? That's enough time for you to analyse those plastic cars that you've kept in your bedroom that you haven't left in four days. Yeah, there you go So later he stated After that craft took off I was in no doubt I realized that it was a hundred percent certain that we were part of a larger community beyond the confines of this planet Right when he saw the alien leave. Yeah, not when he saw the craft, not when he touched it, but when he saw it leave. Yeah, he's like, okay, so this isn't from here per se. I hate to watch that alien go,
Starting point is 00:26:32 but I love to watch him leave. What a person. Because it makes me realize I'm part of a wider community. Yeah, it's got a real sweet butt. That alien torch. Oh, that alien got back. That alien got back. That alien got peach butt. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:50 But it wasn't over yet. On December 28th, Deputy Base Commander Lieutenant Colonel Charles Holt visited the site with a team of servicemen. They took readings of the radiation in the triangle shapes in the ground and in the surrounding areas. Their readings found several bursts of higher radiation at the site, as well as in other points around half a mile away. It gave a figure, and I could not figure out
Starting point is 00:27:20 if that was good or bad. Right. This, the website said it was double, but I don't know how trustworthy that website is. Just high, just little spikes. So there was radiation. Radiation. Just a little bit.
Starting point is 00:27:35 Yeah. Or maybe a lot. I don't know. But the triangles were left behind as well. So there was a big triangle plane or object, flying object, unidentified and left little triangles. What's going on there? So I guess we're at top and then maybe the two at the back sort of like where it would have... And then the little feet or triangles. I guess so. Wow, so they just figured out that triangles are the best shape. Yeah, maybe they haven't
Starting point is 00:28:04 discovered circles yet. Because I always sort of a circle, so they just figured out the triangles are the best shape. Yeah, maybe they haven't discovered circles yet. Because I always thought it was circles. It's my favorite shape. They don't have wheels. Oh. Oh, poor them. Why wheel? They don't have one wheel and you can hover.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Oh, okay. Okay. But maybe that's why they don't have any rivets or anything. They haven't got circles yet. That's why they don't have any obvious joins. So they probably haven't even figured out nails or anything. Right, they just carved out a solid, oh, they're sad. I think that might be idiots.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Oh, that is a saddest thing that I know. They're probably skipped it. Sounds like they've gone straight to titanium age. Right. Lame. Lame age, or whatever. Arguably one of the lame or ages. Yeah, I would have said.
Starting point is 00:28:42 Lame age. Lame age. So yeah, there's like little bursts of radiation and during this visit and slash investigation, a flashing light was seen across the field to the east, almost in line with the farmhouse, as the witness has had seen on the first night. Oh my God, I just realized this is the Christmas story, this is the story of the first Christmas. And then the three kings from Oriental or whatever the song says, saw the light and they went over and they found the little
Starting point is 00:29:12 in the stable, last time house. Yeah. Oh my God. Thanks for the spoilers, my family. You're the rest of the story, Matt. They found that little baby triangle. It was a little alien baby. It seemed that it wasn't the lighthouse as it could be seen further to the east
Starting point is 00:29:26 in the same line of sight. So they can see the lighthouse, but there's a flashing light closer than that. They reckon. According to Holtz reports, three star-like lights were seen in the sky, two to the north and one to the south. The north star.
Starting point is 00:29:43 One to the north, that's the one. Is it the north star? to the south. The north star. One to the north. That's the one. Is it the north star? I think so. Yeah. You don't know. I've talked to you like you would know anything. But you don't know anything. You don't know anything.
Starting point is 00:29:54 No. The one thing Jess and I've got overview is Christian studies. Yeah. Force upon us through schooling. Yeah. So three star-like lights seen in the sky, two to the northern, one to the south, about 10 degrees above the horizon. Holt said that the brightest of these hovered for two to three hours and seemed to beam down a
Starting point is 00:30:13 stream of light from time to time. Astronomers have explained these star-like lights as bright stars. Oh, that's answer for everything that's gone. Those astronomers. What are these things in the sky? They look like stars. Stars. Fuck it. Oh, my God. Well, that's the obvious answer. I like the idea of a really no bullshit astronomer. It's a star. It's a star, dickhead. Yeah. What's that star? It's a star. Are you serious? I was at a dinner party. You call the ad here. It's my daughter's birthday.
Starting point is 00:30:49 It's a star. It was a star emergency. I hate being the only on-call astronomer in town. Holt was recording the events on a micro cassette tape and he's heard on the tape saying there's no doubt about it. There's some type of strange flashing red light ahead. Oh, that's a plane. Then his voice gets extremely excited as he says, it's coming this way, it's definitely coming this way. Pieces of it are shooting off, there's no doubt about it. This is weird. No doubt about that part.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Yeah, right. This is weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, Holt described the object as circular, like a large eye winking at him. So they do have circles, okay? Oh, he has circles. Yeah, he can describe something as a circle. He's aware of what a circle is. And he thinks that they're winking at him.
Starting point is 00:31:33 Yeah, circles winking at him. Oh, you think the circle's coming on? No, I'm doing. I think the circle's coming on. No, no. He takes his shirt off. Whoa, whoa, whoa. The circle's like, hey, on. No, no. He takes his shirt off. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 00:31:47 The circle's like, hey, hey, hey, hey. Like a slow, inappropriate buddy. Holt wrote a memo to the Ministry of Defense detailing his experience as well as the experience of peniston two nights earlier. It was known as the Holt memo, again, very creative. Good. It was dated a couple of weeks after the event occurred,
Starting point is 00:32:06 which skeptics argue would account for errors in some of the details on the report. The HALT memo was made publicly available in the United States under the US Freedom of Information Act in 1983, and the following year in 1984, the HALT tape was released to UFO researchers for further investigation. But a consultant for the National Archives,
Starting point is 00:32:25 a journalist named David Clark, had investigated the background of the Holt memo and failed to find any other reports made about the incident other than Holt's memo. So no other government sort of agencies really made any reports. Well, yeah, not that they can find. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:32:43 Yeah. Oh, yeah, classic story. What, they can find. Exactly. Yeah. Oh, yeah, classic story. What, they can't bury things. This is the US government we're talking about. The smoking man, et cetera. Yeah. That's from the X-Files. Oh.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Yeah. Yeah, I know. I get references to stuff, so. Yeah, I've just got a report to do, Dave, so if you could start popping in with stuff that we all definitely get. The syndicate. Shut the fuck up, I don't know what that is. But just because the authorities didn't take it too seriously unless you ask the Rendos from Forest Incident.com in which case lots of government and military figures were involved
Starting point is 00:33:20 in the cover-up. Obviously there's a cover-up. Yes, Carlos. Obviously, there's a cover-up here, Jess. It's actually pretty offensive that you're trying to talk about. I like there wasn't one. It's embarrassing if anything. This meant to be a fact-based comedy podcast. Come on. Well, that doesn't mean that others haven't continued to do their own research.
Starting point is 00:33:40 And this is a little thing from Wikipedia here. In 1997, Scottish researcher James Easton obtained the original witness statements made by those involved in the first night sightings. One of the witnesses, Ed Cabin-Sag, said in his statement, we figured the lights were coming from past the forest since nothing was visible when we passed through the Woody Forest.
Starting point is 00:34:01 We would see a glowing near the beacon light. But as we got closer, we found it to be a lit-up farmhouse. We got to a vantage point where we could determine that what we were chasing was only a beacon light off in the distance. So he didn't see or touch any kind of craft. Oh, cabins take just sort of light on the farmhouse. John Burrows as well. And he reckons it like from what he said, it doesn't think of anything as just a farmhouse. John Barrow's as well also stated, we could see a beacon going around. So we went towards it. We followed it for about
Starting point is 00:34:36 two miles before we could see it was coming from a lighthouse. You know what happened to those two fellas. They got gotten to yes, I got to them for sure they were gotten to Who it's so wait? I thought it was Cabin Sag that had the triangle experience. No, that was peniston Yes, Cabin Sag and borrows were there when we get to the point where he invents penistillin Can't make a smart curie. Sorry Sorry, Ia Curie. I thought they must have been related somewhere. Bury's reported a noise like a woman with screaming and also that you could hear the farm
Starting point is 00:35:13 animals making a lot of noises. Holt heard the same noises two at nights later. Such noise could have been made by Munt Jack Deer in the forest, which are known for their loud shrill bark when alarmed. Munch Jack Deer, shrill bark. Munch Jack. Munch Jack.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Munch Jack. Yeah. Whoa. Munch Jack Deer. Probably saying that wrong. Munch Jack, that sounds like the osier steer of all. Munch Jack. The Munch Jack.
Starting point is 00:35:44 Munch Jack. Month Jack. Love it. Yeah, so even the other two people that were with Panestam were like, ah, it was just the lighthouse. Yeah, that's if you've probably never been gotten to. I'm so surprised you've both gone this angle.
Starting point is 00:35:59 I'm loving it. They've obviously been gotten to. Yeah. Yeah, Uncle Sam got there, you see. Even though this was their original statements. Well, the police. Yeah, well, you don't think you got to them before in between.
Starting point is 00:36:09 Right. They got real quick. Real quick. Real quick. Too quick. Who can get to them that quick? Only one person, Uncle Sam. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:20 Where's Uncle Sam live? Where's Uncle Sam live? Is that Fatem house? No, he lives in the North Pole. Oh, right. Oh, I thought he lived in Mount Rushmore. No, no, no. He didn't say it. That's his holiday house.
Starting point is 00:36:35 Oh, of course, my bad. Well, you remember that the police weren't super interested in either. The police reports were released in 2005 under the UK's Freedom of Information Act. It includes a letter date of the 28th of July 1999 written by Inspector Mike Toplis who notes that one of the topless. Yeah, it's funny. That's a funny name, Toplis. That was the white line. Yeah, Mike Toplis. Mike Toplis was there. I had only read it before, I didn't say that loud. That's great.
Starting point is 00:37:07 He notes that one of the police constables who attended the scene on the first night returned to the site in daylight in case he'd missed anything. There was nothing to be seen and he remains unconvinced that the occurrence was genuine wrote topless. The immediate area was swept with powerful light beams from a landing beacon at RAF, bent waters and the aurefidness lighthouse. I know from personal experience that at night in certain weather and cloud conditions these beams were very pronounced and certainly caused strange visual effects. So basically the forest is between two RAF
Starting point is 00:37:37 bases. So there's lights and stuff coming from them and there's the lighthouse not far away and he's like it's just lights from the other base. Yeah, they just set up bases there because nothing wild and weed was going on between. Yeah, just a coincidence. You are more gullible than you even look. How gullible look? Well, evidence of a substantial
Starting point is 00:38:03 file on the subject led to claims of a cover-up. Some interpreted this as part of a larger pattern of information suppression concerning the true nature of unidentified flying objects, both by the United States and British governments. However, when the file was released in 2001, it turned out to consist mostly of internal correspondence and responses to inquiries from the public. The lack of any in-depth investigation in the public release, publicly released documents, is consistent with their early statement that they've never taken the case very seriously. That's from the Ministry of Defence. Oh, and yeah, we expected they released the full documents, not the secret documents.
Starting point is 00:38:43 They just released the weird questions from the public. Yeah. Can I say the alien? No, can I? No, come on. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. I love aliens.
Starting point is 00:38:54 I actually married that alien. I need you to get it to call me back. Chad. It was here very briefly, and we wed. And I believe it's got much old inside. It's tummy. So, please give me a call back. I know, I know, it's hanging out with you.
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Starting point is 00:40:36 Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings were very discounts not available in all safe and situations. In June 2010, retired Colonel Charles Holt signed a notarized affidavit in which he summarized what had happened and then stated he believed the event to be extraterrestrial and that
Starting point is 00:41:13 it had been covered up by both the UK and US. Contradictions between this affidavit and the facts is recorded at the time in Holt's memo and tape recording have been criticised widely. So there's differences. But I mean, it's like 30, 20 years later. 30 years later? I mean, you explain that easily, can't you? That was 30 years ago?
Starting point is 00:41:33 No, they got to. They got to. They got to. Any piece of evidence that goes against it? They got to. They got to. They got to. But according to The Randall from Forest Incident.com, finally someone is brave enough to tell
Starting point is 00:41:49 the truth. Someone who hasn't been gotten to. The Ministry of Defence responded with the usual denials and claimed that their events posed no defence significance. Lord Hill Norton, a man who in the 70s was at the top of the British defense establishment, had for years been vocal in attacking the Ministry of Defense position. He had stated that there are only two possibilities regarding halts claims of an encounter. Either halts and all the other witnesses were hallucinating, or they actually saw what they claimed to have seen.
Starting point is 00:42:18 Well, I mean two of them said they saw a lighthouse. It really feels like a assault, doesn't it? In either case, since all men were stationed on a base containing nuclear-armed aircraft, the situation has to be of extreme defense significance. Norton has also later stated publicly that he believes the evidence for the Rendorsham case points conclusively to an extraterrestrial intrusion. It's a fun string of words to say. So out of everywhere that they, an extraterrestrial could land, they chose between two air bases.
Starting point is 00:42:49 Yeah. Okay. That's right. Yeah. No, see, you're thinking about this all wrong. They landed there because they were canoodling with the American airmen. Right. And women. If I was going to choose, I would canoodle with the American, Eman, right, and women. If I was going to choose, I would connoodle with the American seaman. Oh, wow. That's where you differ from the aliens.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Yes. That's very good. This is, I continue from the rendenderstrom Forest Incident.com. Despite the unearthing of the Holt memo in the US, despite the unearthing of the Holt memo, the US military did everything it could to ensure the story remained secret. When Penelston, Penelston, tried to recover the photographs he took of the craft from the base photo lab,
Starting point is 00:43:41 he was told he couldn't, because a film was supposedly fogged and therefore useless. Oh. Peniston doubts this and believes his pictures were inevitable and confiscated. I'm a great photographer, so bullshit. Yeah. You know what, I have no other photos.
Starting point is 00:43:55 Someone got to them. Yeah, no, someone got to cover them in fog. Well, wouldn't you just keep them so, like it does seem weird they'd be like, ah, we chucked them out because they suck so much. Yeah. So like he'd get a look at him first Well, he also got some things of photos where it's like some of them would just Yeah, he kept it you collection of thumbs got a whole big
Starting point is 00:44:18 Yeah, took them on purpose He wasn't a good photographer And a wife so many people hired him to for weddings He wasn't a good photographer. And a wife so many people hired him for weddings. Also, one of the three plaster casts he made, the landing site, disappeared while being shipped by the military. He managed to keep the other two. Long after the event, when he'd moved back to America,
Starting point is 00:44:36 he discovered a bug in his house, like a mousy. Louie's a fly. Oh no, they got to Louie. Oh no. They put him in the house. Hey guys, let's have a great party. How does it keep surviving every year? Every time? Like they kill him supposedly their own ads show them killing this Louie the fly. This is a more teen bug spray ad Yes, but then the next year the next campaign is there again with a new bunch of friends. Yeah, I mean like couldn't keep me down I mean flies don't live that long. There was a just pre-microfond of the more teens.
Starting point is 00:45:05 Yeah, the post feels like more teens, if anything, it's prolonging Louise life. Give me more. The decades. Louise a fly. And now he's in this box, hey. Louise, you're a model, hey? It was thanks to the more teen.
Starting point is 00:45:19 If you want to protect flies, get more team. Yes, he's found a bug in his house and he also said he received threatening phone calls and discovered that his male was frequently tampered with. Oh, okay. What do people put in his male? Fat bomb. Oh, no, we'll be cushioned. Just embarrassing.
Starting point is 00:45:41 All his bank bills have been replaced with a whoopie cushion. He's like, I just want to check my accounts That's not how You gotta get him under his butt not in his ladder box. No, they're doing it all wrong Well, I guess that's more proof their aliens Humans now you put them on the chair. Yeah, that's right. We'd know it was really the government getting to it, it would be on the chair. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:07 They never put on a chair without it making noise again. I think we're in what are the Reagan era? Reagan, you better bloody whoopie cushion. Yeah, you know what it was doing. So there are several theories, right? Obviously you guys have got your own very strong fears. There will be questions involved involved in mine several claims of it being a hoax BBC reported that a former US security policeman Kevin
Starting point is 00:46:32 Conday claimed responsibility for creating strange lights in the forest by driving around in a police vehicle whose lights he'd modified however there is no evidence that this prank took place what a that is the worst prank I've ever heard. Yeah. I've put some final lines around to see it. This is going to be real good. I've taken time to modify the lots on a police car. I'm going to shot him ran into forest.
Starting point is 00:46:58 No one's really actually got a personalized horn that goes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's very funny. People, oh, that's the alien loves him. It's coming back for me. a personalized horn that goes ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba it spy satellite, but no evidence has been produced to support this. Of course it wouldn't be. The initial siding at 3am on the 26th of December, when the Emmons saw something apparently descending into the forest, coincided with the appearance of a bright fireball over southern England, and such fireballs are common source of UFO reports. So it could have just been a fireball and the fireball. Oh right, what does that mean?
Starting point is 00:47:44 I don't know. I mean, it's just a fireball. It's very similar to explain that. It been a fireball and what is that? I don't know. I mean, it's just a fireball. It's a fireball. It's all in its normal question. It's just a big fireball and it's just a fireball. What, you think, oh no, if you saw a fireball and
Starting point is 00:47:57 the sky, you grow up. You go back to bed. You saw a big alien fireball and the sky from an alien. Grow up. Is there some sort of an alien fireball? No, it's an alien fireball in the sky from an alien. And you're thinking, oh, is this some sort of an alien fireball? No, it's an alien fireball. Are they confusing that for the sun?
Starting point is 00:48:11 Yeah, I don't know. The sun shouldn't be in the fireball every day in the sky. Technically, yeah, the sun is a fireball in the sky. Yeah, yeah, aliens for you. But I mean, if you're seeing the sun at night, is it really not? That's a great question. Think about that. Wow. Think about it. I think about that for years. But I mean if you're saying the son of not is it really not Think about that Wow, I think about that for years. Yeah, you will. Yeah, well hey
Starting point is 00:48:36 The son never goes down. It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round Wow flaming lips I came up with that beautiful Wayne coins stole that from me. Give it back, Wayne. No, that's a conspiracy. You dog. Coin you dog, that's mine. All the little things. We're written by you.
Starting point is 00:48:57 Honestly, Wayne Coins got a bit of island about him. Yeah. Was that you she- No, we all. Yeah, it's true. That's a good fight. You know, in so many ways, aren't we all fit of an outsider? No, we all ain't coin.
Starting point is 00:49:11 So, another theory is that the timing on Holt's tape recording during his siding on the 28th of December indicates that the light he saw, which lay in the same direction as the light scene two nights earlier, flashed every five seconds, which lay in the same direction as the light seen two nights earlier, flashed every five seconds, which was the flash rate of the lighthouse. Oh, so the aliens have somehow gotten sent? Why have they sent up? Do you think maybe they learned light from the light? Yeah, they're pretty good.
Starting point is 00:49:40 Do you think the lighthouse was in on it? Oh my god, and inside jump-knife. The old sea has never let on it. Oh my god. And inside jump not y'all Oh I'm sorry. He's only friend with an alien hey go lonely and oh He was only that alien baby. That's a salty sea captain. Oh Yeah, that's why salty He's fucking full of... He's got a lot of salt-chakers.
Starting point is 00:50:11 Salt-chakers, yeah. He loves fish and chips. Yep. In December 2018, that journalist I mentioned before, David Clark, reported a claim that the incident was a setup by the SAS as a revenge plot on the US Air Force. According to this story in August of 1980, the SAS parachuted into RAF Woodbridge to test the security of the nuclear site.
Starting point is 00:50:35 The USAF had recently upgraded their radar and detected the black parachutes of the SAS men as they descended into base. The SAS troops were interrogated and beaten up with the ultimate insult that they were called unidentified aliens. To enact their revenge, the SAS gave the USAF their own version of an alien event. And so it says, as December approached lights and colored
Starting point is 00:51:01 flares were rigged in the woods, black helium balloons were also coupled to remote controlled kites to carry suspended materials into the sky activated by radio controls. So could it have just been a revenge prank for us? Right, that makes some sense. Apart from the whole space should be touched.
Starting point is 00:51:19 Yeah. But what about, I mean, that theory is that they parachuted in and got caught. So in revenge, they went back in, didn't get't get caught but put lights in how has that happened? Well, it wasn't the other way around so they they parachute it into the actual Base which to be to be to be clear in their country. That's so dangerous though, isn't it? I guess you could easily be killed doing that So then the points are were British soldiers on British land parachuting into a US,
Starting point is 00:51:50 but it's their security. Yeah, I like it. I like it. They might just be like, what the hell is that? Oh, there's a nuclear base. We shoot to kill here. Yeah, and that would be fair. But then, they got caught.
Starting point is 00:52:01 They got beat up. And then in revenge, they somehow somehow read the lights in the woods. Yeah, because the Americans called them aliens, so they're like, I will show you aliens. And then they... I like this. This feels, this feels the second most likely after real aliens. So real aliens first, second most likely is... Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:52:18 The mole people. And this is why it's all being covered up right there. Like it's embarrassing. One of our guys, they're like, it's embarrassing. One of our guys actually fell for it, but we're actually normally really smart. Because we're actually American, same in the air of the air. Wow.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Same in the air. Well, I mean, that's basically the end of the report because I mean, we still don't fully know, of course. Is this a mystery? Is this Christmas time mystery's part three? Yeah. Is this a Christmas tree? It's a Christmas tree.
Starting point is 00:52:55 Whoa. But I suppose you make a good point that, I mean, to me, I'm sort of like, oh, that's bullshit. But then, what happened to peniston? He saw something, he touched something. He touched something and then he had like binary code in his head. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:11 He had some sort of episode. And because it feels like there's a possibility that it's embarrassing to have these things and others were like, I would prefer to just say I didn't see anything. It was a lighthouse, right? So they cover it up. Or Uncle Sam gets in there he says, you better not say anything about those UFOs. Yeah. Because they're my friends. And I want them to stay under wraps because they're just here on holidays. Okay, just a private holiday. We'll have a little catch up and they're gonna go away again.
Starting point is 00:53:41 They won't be back for a while. But if you blow their cover, they can't come and visit anymore. I'm trying to go there, play some X-Risman. Oh, and it was a Christmas song. We go, we share. So I think it was real aliens, covered up by Uncle Sam, because I was visiting him. That sounds right to me too though, Jess, but you did the research. What do you think? Well, you've, I mean, I was really expecting you to jump on board the piss-taking, but, but... Piss-taking. I think you've convinced. That's something so serious. I think you've convinced me. We would never do that. There's two things. That's pretty offensive. There's two things we don't joke about on the show. One, Helen Keller. Two aliens. Yeah, that's it. Okay. That's easy to Okay. That's a very impressive
Starting point is 00:54:28 episode was barely comedy. Very interesting. Yeah, so interesting. Yeah, I mean, I'm open to other people's theories, their feedback. They should they get onto on Instagram or That's right. If it's better what's a better way to get onto Instagram? It's only the one you like for people to contact you. It is normally yes. It is normally I guess there's more of a picture thing so probably wouldn't work for this Yeah, I wouldn't work for this and there's absolutely nothing wrong with my Instagram. So So they look up about Jess Perkins. Yeah, they will be there. I got hacked.
Starting point is 00:55:10 I got hacked on the account that's gone. But it might come back, so who knows? If not, we rebuild. We rebuild. That Jess Perkins won. We start fresh. Yeah. And maybe, maybe-
Starting point is 00:55:22 I just reckon it's two, let's see, let's see. Maybe I'll start fresh and I'll just have one of those's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see That's right you got to 10,000, which was your dream and then hey all came crushing down maybe I got to celebrate that dream for a solid Two minutes maybe instead of Amy for 10,000 you should aim for one one good follow. Yeah, just get one good follow You had 10,000, but why don't you have them good? No, that's right, but if you guys followed me. Yeah, exactly Evidence right here. Do you want to count follow is me? I followed myself on it. Uh-huh You need one good follower and that follower, Bill Gates. If you get Bill Gates on board, private, no one else. If you get Willie G, there you go.
Starting point is 00:56:11 You've arrived. I want you much for my engagement. I doubt it. Oh, yeah, getting Bill Gates following you. I don't know. Yeah, that'll close some doors on the internet. You're fucking, what are you doing? Try to the toilet.
Starting point is 00:56:23 He deserves to be hacked. Talk like that. Maybe Bill Gates hacked you to teach you a lesson. Yeah, and look, I've learned it and give my account back now. You know when Willie Gates closes a door on the internet, he opens Windows 95. No, that's pretty good. But yeah, that was my report on the Rendorsham Forest incident. Fantastic. What a story.
Starting point is 00:56:48 And so Christmasy. Oh, what? It felt the cheer. Yeah. It felt the Christmas cheer. I could have at least done green and red lights instead of red and blue. It's something, yeah. Or it could have happened a couple of days earlier, you know.
Starting point is 00:56:59 Yeah, I know. I know. What if they made the boxing day sales? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What if they made the boxing day sales? I don't know. I don't know if Penicillin would probably would have been thinking, Pff, got enough on my plate. At least Trongles now in my pocket made out of plaster.
Starting point is 00:57:11 They're pretty good, I don't need to buy any sort of white goods. I had a beautiful low low price. Yeah, great price. Great price. Had a great price. Although I do need a mixed master. Oh, now it's time for everyone's favourite section of the show, the fact quote a question section where it charges jingle and it goes with some ideas.
Starting point is 00:57:29 Fact quote all questions. Always remember the ding now. To be involved in this you've got a Patreon or ComSash to go on pod or you can go to do go on pod.com. That's our website. And from there you follow the links and you can get involved, you can support us on all these different levels. This one, in particular, is the Sydney Shampag Diox Memorial Edition, resting peace level. If you get involved in that, you get to give us a factor of question.
Starting point is 00:57:56 You also get nearly all the other rewards. Of all the levels below. I mean, look it up, it'll make more sense. I can't explain it so good. But you get three bonus episodes. That's a, some people love that. Yeah. You get three bonus episodes. That's a some people love that. Yeah, you get three bonus episodes. And that's even on a lower tier. But you get that as well and sit and join me. And you also get to vote in the topics,
Starting point is 00:58:14 et cetera. So without further ado, here are this week's facts, quotes and questions. Firstly, we've got Jacob Lane, who, and you also get to give yourself a title in this level and his title is Simpsons. I really are. He lost the passion there. And part of me thinks that maybe like he hit Enter Too soon but also a part of me believes that he was just like, I don't know, fucking no more. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:48 I think that's just classical, plain humor. Classic line. Yeah. So Jacob Simpson's line has offered us a fact this week and it's fact, we should explain for people first time listeners. Jacob is our, well, he used to be our Simpson's auditor auditor, Simpsons reference auditor, but now he's just our Simpsons. Is he taking us down Simpsons Lane? Ooh, could be. Alright, so here is Jacob's fact.
Starting point is 00:59:13 The fact is, sometimes Matt's beautiful, oh, I thought it ended there for a second. Sometimes Matt's beautiful. That's so nice. Right, I'm doing that. Very rare. Yeah, I'd take it. I'd take that. I'm not going's so nice. Right. I mean, sometimes. Very rare. Yeah, I take it. Still. I take that. I'm not going to do it.
Starting point is 00:59:29 Yeah. Yeah, it's going to have that. Yeah. Sometimes Matt's beautiful, dolce at times, Matt's the pitch of my car, making it impossible for me to hear what he says. So I just crank it up to 11. I've heard that before. I do speak in engine level.
Starting point is 00:59:43 Hi, you are. Is you in the alternator? Yeah, I'm totally. So it's quite unfortunate. Before I do speak in engine level. Hi, you are. Is you in the alternator? Yeah, I'm totally fine. So it's quite unfortunate. I really do apologize for that. I've been trying to... Err...
Starting point is 00:59:53 That's not a more like a car, not less. I've been trying to... Me, me, me, me. Err... That's the motorbike now. That's good. Not many people listen whilst riding the motorbike. Oh god, what's your favorite tree?
Starting point is 01:00:09 Thank you, Jacob Lane. Thank you. Thank you, Jacob Lane. Very much appreciate that feedback. And yeah, I mean, there's got to be something. We had been getting a friend to edit some of these episodes and mix them when we were recording outside the same room. Thanks Josh.
Starting point is 01:00:30 And one of the requests I made to Josh was, if you can, can you make my voice audible above the sound of the car engine? And I don't know if that's proper. And Josh said, what am I, a fucking magician? Come on. And we said, all right Josh, it's a bit of attitude for me, Matt. So the first edit was just him playing my microphone
Starting point is 01:00:53 through a whistle. But that was even more distracting. We were attracting a lot of dogs, which is great. We need more in the K9 audience. Oh, yeah, there's heaps of them, right? Heaps. Heaps. We're very popular amongst dogs. I can't want to do. We want to get the chicken audience. It's like a billion in a million. There's so many chickens.
Starting point is 01:01:14 Look at all the booktooks on to do go on. Thank you very much, Jacob. This next one comes from Bron Al Day, who also has a fact, but she has given herself the title of Head of the Team responsible for cracker removal from Dave's cheese platters. Oh, that's a great idea. She's on Dave's side. Good work, exactly.
Starting point is 01:01:32 We want our platters cheese only, well I want them cheese only. I'd love to. Much to Jess's sadness and to be honest, aggression. I think it would aggressive about it. I love it. And I don't apologize. I'd be very much.
Starting point is 01:01:44 Ideally, I would also love some sort of edible dipper. I can't be skitt. Cracker. Oh, what edible dipper do you want some fondue? You can dip your cube of blue cheese into more cheese. That's not... I mean, there's nothing to grab onto there. I would have to be a very hard Swiss, maybe.
Starting point is 01:02:01 And the holes in that could sort of pick up some of that fondue. Some sort of scoop. Anyway, Bronwn has offered a fact and her fact is almost all shells open on the right hand side with the exception of a few snail species. If you find a shell that opens on the left hand side in a normally right hand side opening species. It is called a sinestral shell. And you have a rare shell that is often highly sought after by collectors. How is there a left and right hand side of a shell? Let me turn it around.
Starting point is 01:02:33 It's easy the other side is what my mom was doing. Is this like a left-handed screwdriver prank? Hey, we're not first day apprentices, okay, Bron? We're not gonna go get the bloody checkered paint, okay? Dave's looking up, so we don't sound silly. We're looking up checkered paint. I don't understand. I don't understand, but either way,
Starting point is 01:02:53 we sound silly, I'm sure. Okay, okay. A synestral shell is a shell of a gastropod, which is, quote, left-handed. The shell is coiled in an anti-clockwise direction so that when viewed from the front in an eventual view with the spy up most, you have to hold the spy on top and look at it from the front.
Starting point is 01:03:13 The opening or the aperture appears on the left. Yes, that clears it up a lot. I mean, I've got an image so it is making it a little bit easier for me. So, yeah, the spy, when is the opening? Yeah, I think that, I think I get that more. I'm image to it is making it a little bit easier for me. So yeah, the spot when it's the opening Yeah, I think that I think I get that more. I'm picturing like upside down. Yeah, you know, you go. Oh, that's opening on the left Let me it's opening on the right now. Dave's also said he has an image So if I can't use the I'll sound a fun one that did
Starting point is 01:03:42 I mean it's it's slightly less confusing looking. Yeah. You can still... Shells are pretty sexy, hey. Yeah, yeah. They're real horny. Don't put that away. Yeah, please, put it away.
Starting point is 01:03:53 Oh, what a fuck that shell. Yeah, I want to fuck that shell. I'm going to put it in here when I get in here. I don't care if it's left or right. I can't. I'm going to be playing Russian shells later on. Who's in who? I don't know. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try.
Starting point is 01:04:07 I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try.
Starting point is 01:04:15 I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try.
Starting point is 01:04:23 I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna try and just give it a try. I'm just gonna It's for anybody in the car just heard nothing for a bit and then, hello! I'm so glad that little crustaceans happy anyway, because I didn't know it was in there. Well, he's saying hello and then he realizes where he is. And he's like, oh no! Oh no! Goodbye! Thank you so much, Bronn, for that fantastic fact.
Starting point is 01:04:44 We got it. Hopefully, whoever's editing this episode will trim that down and make it sound like we've fully got you straight away. We're to say our Capriendale for the next. Capiche. Yeah. Catfish. Catfish.
Starting point is 01:04:58 The next one's from Jordan Nassie, who is the do-go-on official line-tamer and keeper guard of the Embassy. Very important role. I can't see. We've got a lot of lines. And, uh, Jordan's got a question. Here it is. What is the best relationship advice you have ever received or given? It's the best advice you've ever given. Well, it hasn't happened yet. It's about to happen now. Well, it hasn't happened yet. It's about to happen now. Um,
Starting point is 01:05:25 best real specifically relationship advice. Yeah. I reckon it's, uh, if it's, if it's not working, don't fight too hard for it. Does that make sense? Yeah, give up easily. Exactly. First sign of conflict. Devours. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:44 Not married. Well, that get married. Get married. Get divorced. Yeah. They're not married. Get married. Get divorced. That's why they'll take you seriously. And not a nulled. You got to wait long enough until it's divorce and then divorce.
Starting point is 01:05:53 Yes, so they have a tip of your finances. That's what you want. Look, I mean, obviously you don't want to just give up straight away all the time. But I've just seen and been in relationships that you're fought for for and then in hindsight, you're like, oh, there were signs for a while and I think we wasted each other's time for a bit. But it's so hard to see him when you're in it. Yeah, it's true. So it is tricky. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:16 And I've also fought for relationships that was worth it too, I'm sure. Yeah, I mean, they all need a little bit of fighting as in fighting for. I mean, I will need a little bit of fighting, as in fighting for. I mean, I don't get a lot of relationship advice. I mean, a perfect relationship. So everyone's like, oh, you guys got this nailed. No, you need to step in. Mainly it's stuff like, keep it up. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:38 You're doing it, keep it up, you're getting it. It's fire, me. Oh my God. Yeah, stuff like that. Can you vlog about this more? Yeah, so is that, does that help you? Is that answer your question? Mm.
Starting point is 01:06:50 Yeah, yeah, that's ours actually. Cause I read that question. Yeah. Oh. Jordan, is that you? Good relationship advice. I mean, you should be a team. Yes, really.
Starting point is 01:07:01 Trust yourself, trust your gut. Yep. I guess it depends on how far into it you are as well. The advice would change. Also, I should say I'm not at all qualified to give advice on this. I still haven't finished my diploma in relationship advisory. What do you aspire to get there? Yeah, I'll get there.
Starting point is 01:07:21 You don't want one unit a year? One unit a year. So 12 to go. 12 to go.'ll get there. You're doing one unit a year? One unit a year. So 12 to go or something? 12 to go. You get there? Hey, just like our relationship, slow and steady wins the race. That's right. Unless you want to jump in.
Starting point is 01:07:34 All right. I feel like my advices have been grim. Be nice. Yeah, be nice. I feel like whatever you do, whatever you want to to do as long as you're on the same page You know some people like you have to wait a year to move in together or to get engaged It's like well who cares if you if you're both on the same page then that's all that matters You matter the bar you both looking for a place to say you both out of town buy a place. Yeah, it's cheaper
Starting point is 01:08:04 My money said money. We'll talk about it. Absolutely. Yes. Oh, George, and I'm so sorry. But yeah, I think I think you ought to let it go. Boy, him. Yeah. Sorry. If that, I mean, reading the subjects. Yeah. Yeah. If you are vaguely turning to a podcast, maybe something's wrong. Yeah. That's a. Yeah. That's a long time. Three people who, I mean, you know, very little about their relationships.
Starting point is 01:08:30 And maybe we're all in terrible ones. It's very possible, Jordan's also like, I can't wait to take this advice, so I know what not to do. Yeah, that's very possible. These fucking all losers. I'm on our OprahMag.com with best advice for health and relationships.
Starting point is 01:08:43 And one, according to experts, and I do not agree with this. Okay. Don't expect your partner to be your BFF. Oh. Oh, not at all. All right. But they're saying like, you're only friend, maybe, because you need, I think you need other people in your lives.
Starting point is 01:08:57 Yeah, okay. But for your mom and dad, you could be like- You thought it should be up there, right? Your dog, yeah, like the postman. You know, you've got other bear bests. You could say that about your boss. Don't expect your boss to, I mean. Yeah, like the postman, you've got other bear bests. You can say that about your boss, don't expect your boss to be a bear. I mean, the person you're spending the most time with,
Starting point is 01:09:10 that should be pretty close. You should like hanging out with them. That's what I reckon. That's my hot take. Yeah, Oprah, okay. Maybe it's not working out with you in Stillbad or whatever his name is, but. Stillbad, yes.
Starting point is 01:09:20 Sinbad. No, what's his name? It's like Stilton or something like that. Still bars the Scottish version of Stuart. Oh, is it? Yeah. Stead man. Stead man.
Starting point is 01:09:32 I'm only an actor that I go to. Yeah. Okay Dave, bit defensive there. I mean, my mind was sinbad. I know fake typing when I see it. Yeah. Fine, a bit of advice. Choose to love your partner every day.
Starting point is 01:09:44 Oh yeah. Choose. Try to get up to get down. Yeah, make the choice. Hey, choose laugh. Choose laugh. Choose laugh. Choose live and... The big girls. Finally, we've got Rachel Johnson, who is the Pied Piper of the Pied. And it's so good to have you in. Oh, and Jess is talking on your microphone. She's just pointing at your name. That's confusing for everyone else.
Starting point is 01:10:11 But also, I don't think we've thanked Rachel yet for magnets. Oh, yes. There's a package that's been sitting down says that the studio for possibly months. Yeah. No, it can't be months, because it was happy Boktoberfest. All right. So, month and month. Month. Yeah. No, it can't be months, because it was happy October 1st. Oh, right.
Starting point is 01:10:25 So month and month. Month. Thank you so much, Rachel. Rachel made us custom magnets. So cool. We'll just put them up, three a piece. I just got a little trip ditch. If I did the sums, I might have been two a piece, but anyway.
Starting point is 01:10:40 Thanks so much, Rachel. And Rachel has given us a fact as well. And Rachel's fact is is when I fact checked My fact it turned out that it is not so much a fact as a vague theory. Oh, well here it is anyway An important ninth century fossil collector and paleontologist named Mary Annning is said to be the inspiration for the tongue twisters She sells she sells. Oh my god She said sorry. I was just having a second go at the first bit. She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
Starting point is 01:11:11 She sells sea shells by the sea shore. I heard that as well recently in, I think maybe Bill Brasson's short history on everything. I think he references it in that or some other audiobook I was looking to recently. That's a fun fact. Two shell facts today. Yeah. I didn't even put that together. I'm just like, yeah, what is it? This is what I was forgetting this isn't the shell hour podcast. And a bit of a relationship advice.
Starting point is 01:11:36 Always keep your shell up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Always keep your shell up so other people could fuck it. Yeah, for sure. Let's hand right hand who cares. Let's open it up. It's 2020, baby. I'd love to be a show. Thank you to our Fat Quotal questioners. And like I said, get involved on the Sydney Shamburg level if you want to do that. Next, we thank a few other Patreon supporters
Starting point is 01:11:59 on one of the other levels and they're on the shout out level. And just on my little game for each of them, what are we going to do today to these good people? I was thinking that we could... Fucking with the shell. We could, but shall we fucking with you? Conch! Everyone gets conch.
Starting point is 01:12:15 Lock it in and run gets a conch. It's the best someone who gets hammocked. You get a conch. So you think you're Stetman? Because you're Oprah. That's right. Makes me gale! Whoa! The best phrase. Stetman, Because you're Oprah. That's right. Makes me gale. Whoa. The best phrase.
Starting point is 01:12:26 Stetman, the one that all goes all the gifts, he's like, at BMW, got away 80 cars, got away 80 cars. Well, Oprah's got to kill me. Yeah, my God. I'm so into the capsidon. If I don't buy 80 cars, I was thinking we could come up with things that they've seen and mistaken for UFO. Oh, that's great. Fantastic. Well, if I may kick it off,
Starting point is 01:12:47 I would love to thank from Monkreif in the Australian Capital Territory. It's Nick Lucas. Nick Lucas. He's mistaking the demon eyes of those clowns in Parliament as being... LAUGHTER ..the lights from an alien craft. Were they, um, was Parliament sitting at night? Yeah, they're walking past. So, having one of those annual bowls that they have.
Starting point is 01:13:11 Yes. The winter bowl. Yep. And, uh, yeah, Barnaby Joyce emerged and they're like, Oh, what's that? Oh, it's just, uh, former leader of the National Party. I've been to this. Gotcha.
Starting point is 01:13:21 Yeah, they were, they were all in there together. Yeah. And we used, we all thought that they hated each other and different parties But they're all wearing the same robes and sacrificing the same goat Anyway, so I don't know for us like yeah, they all had a lizard head No Anyway Anyway, how are you?
Starting point is 01:13:42 Thank you so much Nick and thank you so much for keeping your eyes up on those clams up in the big tub on Capitol Hill Next I'd love to thank from Woodbridge in VA maybe Virginia Robin a book hate Robin I Butchite Robin a book hate, but I hardly knew you and Robin saw Butchite. Robin, A, Buck Hate. But I hardly knew you.
Starting point is 01:14:07 And Robin saw Oprah's helicopter. Oh wow, was Stedman driving? Of course, Stedman does everything. Yeah, and this makes sense because Oprah is rich enough to buy alien tech. Exactly. Absolutely. So you were right to think it was alien tech it was,
Starting point is 01:14:26 but it was legit. It was bought legit, it's paid full tax and everything. But it's just Oprah getting to make a B. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a busy woman. Cheers. But yeah, thanks for keeping your eyes out. Sorry if you got a bit spooked, but it's just Oprah. As I said, A to B, don't look into it. It was definitely Oprah.
Starting point is 01:14:44 Finally, I would love to think from Bandura in Victoria. I love when we come back to Melbourne places because I can pronounce them. Yeah, that's good, isn't it? From Bandura in Victoria, I'd love to think Christian, Every. Christian. Christian, Every.
Starting point is 01:15:05 Christian. Every, I mean, that word is every, isn't it? Every. I try to make it into a name. Every. So I said, every. And maybe that's what it is. But maybe it's Christian every. That's great. I love that, doesn't it? That's a real rock solid name. Christian, every, I mean, what I like about it is very inclusive name. Yes. Yes, yes. What about Christian Every mistook the demon eyes of the former schmorgies at in
Starting point is 01:15:36 Bunderer that still had those sort of tropical style statues in front of them. Yeah. From like you know Polynesian islands or something, they were going for that vibe with a volcano out the front. Yep. And you thought, oh my god, there's an alien. Oh no, that's just an abandoned smorgies, all you can eat.
Starting point is 01:15:54 An abandoned smorgies. Is that the one? There's one around there, maybe it's somewhere else. But I think it was taken over as a smorgies and their motto, oh, motto always makes me laugh. Come on, Pastor. Their motto is let them eat. I'm truly feels like, you know,
Starting point is 01:16:11 base level for a restaurant. Yeah. It's an eatery. But you can let them. Allowing them to eat is, that's what they've put on their side. We won't facilitate them getting food, but if they somehow manage to get some... Well, a little out.
Starting point is 01:16:27 ...a little bit of meat. Okay, we're a cool, inclusive place. Okay. Um, can I thank some people as well? Yes, please. I would love to thank from Berrick here in Victoria as well. I'd love to thank Ali and Kaitlyn Collingwood. Ali and Kaitlyn Collingwood.
Starting point is 01:16:43 Great names. Great names. Collingwood obviously, you think of the Magpaws football team. Oh, the demon eyes of Eddie McGwan. Eddie McGwan. No, no, no. What they saw, Nathan Buckley, playing tennis. Yeah, these pants fell down. Breaking quarantine.
Starting point is 01:17:01 With his pants off. With his pants off. Well, they missed talks. Nathan Buckley's brown. Demon brown eye. For an alien. That's a Jesus. If they started...
Starting point is 01:17:11 You were so flying low. You know, if they started explaining stuff with such outrageous explanations, it was Oprah's helicopter. It was Nathan Buckley's brown eye. You'd be like, well, like, that's so specific. It's probably true. Yeah, they say like, if you want a teleconvinceing light,
Starting point is 01:17:23 I put in an embarrassing detail in there. Well, that's embarrassing for Nathan Buckley. Yeah, I mean like if you want to tell a convincing lie to put put in an embarrassing detail in there. Well, that's embarrassing for Nathan Buckley. Yeah, I mean, I wasn't going to the brown eye really like you guys did. I was just going for like a he's bummed doesn't see a lot of sunshine. Right. It's a bit pale. Yeah, it's a bit paced.
Starting point is 01:17:36 Yeah. Well, I mean, in the middle of that pasty ass. A brown eye, yes. I, yeah, Bun, a barrack. I was thinking barracks, yeah, I reckon I don't know if he Yeah, Bun, Barrick. I was thinking Barrick. I reckon I don't know if he's still there, but there used to be radio as all the time for Barry Burke from Barrick. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 01:17:51 They had it like a used car dealership. Come to Barry Burke from Barrick. I've Barrick still around. Oh, there was also, there's also from Barrick. David Nutter Motors. Oh, David Nutter Motors. It was Motors. And my dad knew David Nutter, and I thought that was an amazing man. It's very good. It's a, yeah, I guess in some ways, Barric is Australia's Motown, Motor City. Oh, yes, absolutely. Well, I would argue Ringwood,
Starting point is 01:18:20 what with Cassie Fieberg. Oh, yeah. Keep your eyes open for a bargain. Ringwood, what with Cassie? Oh yeah, keep your eyes open for a bargain. Keep your eyes open for a bargain. Cassie there! Free advertising there? Yeah, free and tossie, I went there once and I didn't like it. It's a piece of shit. So there's real bad.
Starting point is 01:18:37 Anti-advertising, it's where they're all square. I would also love to thank from Ash in sorry in Great Britain, Aaron Wheaton. Oh, King Willie Wheaton. That's who he actually saw King Willie Wheat. King Willie Wheat out in the field, creating a big crop circle. Yeah. But he was just having a piss.
Starting point is 01:19:00 It just happened that he'd made a big circle, we're patting. With a piss. Circular patting. How big is he? King Willie Wheevy. Come on, he's a king. He's the king. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:19:09 But he's a piece of wheat. Okay, so he's probably put a guy big, hey. He's Aaron, I'm sorry, I like that. I don't know what the hell it's all about. Oh yeah. Ever I lose a king Willie Wheevy. I assume King Willie Wheevy is an international spike person for breakfast theory.
Starting point is 01:19:25 And if not, I mean, what the fuck? You want to mean? What the fuck? Yeah. What the fuck? So there you go, Aaron, wait and enjoy that. Enjoy saying King Willie Wade. And finally, I would love to thank from Dunn in NC.
Starting point is 01:19:46 I'm just gonna move on, Keith Williams. Well, a fun fact is that they changed their fire engines from red to blue. Oh, that is? Yeah. I got a lot of re-learned that fact. Well done. I can't remember why, but that's the thing.
Starting point is 01:20:03 Well, because of a team. Because of a team? Oh, was it because of the university team? I don't know, I was in fact about them as well. Some of the people with Michael Jordan's shorts. No, shut up! He's shorts actually changed fire engine fashion forever. He was pretty influential out here.
Starting point is 01:20:22 Does that have anything to do with what Keith Williams saw? Oh, Keith Williams, Keith. Yeah, he saw Cape Richards falling out of a car can I try? A car can I try? Yeah, I think you're pretty belly hurt there, but we saw it happen and when he fell out All I could hear was a noise that he could, he described as unearthed like. Wow. Yeah. He'd never, it was, he'd never heard it on earth before.
Starting point is 01:20:52 Wow. Which is the only place he'd been. Right. Yeah, he's, that must've been alien because his sound was like, oh wow. Sorry, that sounds, is that, are you going for it? No, no, it's not. So how they recorded jumping jackfruit. Yes, yeah, that sounds is that are you going for and I had that how they recorded jumping jack for yes, yeah, yeah, wow
Starting point is 01:21:09 Jikajin Wow, that's one part of his guitar part. I'm amazing never climb a coconut tree whilst playing guitar unless Keith Richards. Yeah, unless the You're rolling on the type because he's gonna get you a little bit of genius. Jikajang! Ah! Onya! Keith!
Starting point is 01:21:32 On your case. I would finally like to thank you by May. Please! From Dublin, Lisa Monahan. Lisa Monahan. Um, Lisa saw Bono. Oh yeah, those sunglasses. It's a crème man himself. And she thought, alien. And then went, oh, it's his glasses. That's Bono.
Starting point is 01:21:53 That's just Bono. Demon art of Bono. Oh, and she's from Dublin. She probably hates him. Hate him, she yelled out, do your taxes, you prick. Do your taxes, yeah. You don't belong here, you alien. Yeah, fuck off. Fuck off.
Starting point is 01:22:08 Fuck off. Pretty brutal. Sorry, but where did you go? The Lisa, but I think you look great with us. Yeah, that's a good one. Good on you, Lisa. They actually took him away, the FBI was. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:21 The FBI was, took him away. Yeah. The demon, if the... Right, his demon, if the I was. Yeah, thank you for F. Right, and his demon F. Yeah, thank you for getting there. I couldn't get it. It was the NFL. It was the something.
Starting point is 01:22:32 So thanks Lisa Monahan. Don't worry, we've taken care of Bono. I can care of Bono every day. I would love to take now from Redditch and Warchester in the greatest of Britain's Ellie Nicholas Nicholas. Ellie Nicholas.
Starting point is 01:22:51 I think right now as always fantastic set of names. Oh, Ellie Nicholas saw a Big old I was just I mean this is a classic but she's a weather balloon. Which had a picture on it of an alien. No. She was pranked. It was like a Roswell alien head weather balloon. Okay.
Starting point is 01:23:13 And they were like, we'll just lean right into it. And Ali's like, oh, it's a huge Roswell head alien. The fuck? So I think in a lot of ways, Ali was right to cool that one in. Yeah. She's like more of a just to better be safe and sorry. Absolutely. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:28 She wasn't like, she wasn't completely terrified. She got, she's a bit spooked and thought, you know what? Gonna do them she were thinking. She did a double kill. Okay. 1-800 Aliens. Yeah. That's right.
Starting point is 01:23:38 Yeah. How about that? That's a good double take. Well. Yeah. Thanks, I didn't expect that. I did a triple double. Thank you. Just inspired a triple double. It's never been done before. Never been done. I've been attempt to, but it happened it or not. Wow. I would finally like
Starting point is 01:23:52 to thank from Glasgow. Lewis Gamel. Lewis Gamel. He saw it was a Frisbee. No, but it was being thrown by an alien. Right. Focus on the right part, Lewis. Where did they get the Frisbee from? So he called in the feds, the feds came in. He's like, there's an alien here. And they came in, they grabbed the Frisbee handcuffed it,
Starting point is 01:24:22 took it away. Wow. And the aliens just stood there going. What the fuck man? I was playing with that. I was playing with the Frisbee handcuffed it, took it away. Wow. And the aliens just stood there going, What the fuck man? I was talking about that Frisbee man. Now tell my, apologize to my kid, and there was a little kid alien, Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:34 Which, fantastic. Lois didn't see, it was like, you tell you how you saw this little kid, like, welling up, all, all teary, because that was his favorite, Yeah. His favorite Frisbee. And Lois, like, honestly, the was in the fri-
Starting point is 01:24:46 I was talking about you guys. Yeah, I wanted to actually- You lucked up. You actually did pretty well out. Yeah. It's where they didn't take you. They handcuffed a frisbee. It's almost shocking.
Starting point is 01:24:55 It's really strange. Maybe they were alien. How they even cuff a frisbee? Yeah. Good luck. They are. They punch holes. They do some scientific experiments on them.
Starting point is 01:25:04 Yeah. And they implanted some of the Frisbee DNA in Dana Scully. Yeah, that's right. She is now a part Frisbee. She is given birth to five Frisbees. Wow. Yeah, it was very painful. The doctor called them all so it was pretty amazing actually. Yeah, it's a Frisboy Doesn't quite work for girls. I don't know. Frizz baby. Frizz baby. Frizz boo boo.
Starting point is 01:25:33 Oh yeah, losing it. Do we have anything else to do? Oh, of course we've got to welcome in anyone into the tripage club. Let's have a look. I'm sending out on the road out in front of the club Check in the guest list with a clipboard with a velvet rope just as inside doing some last minute Cocktail shaken. Yeah, Dave's book in the band. He's looking stressed actually. Did you remember Dave? Oh? Thank goodness. I had aliens and I thought you know it you know crack-pop believes in those Tom DeLon. Oh, angels and airways. I'm afraid it wasn't the good one. Sorry everyone. Yeah, because he was in multiple other bands
Starting point is 01:26:14 that were better than that. No, we could have had box car racers as well. But no, it is angels and airwaves. So sorry. Do not ask him to play Dammit. Yeah, that all really far, mom. Well, let's have a look if anyone is being welcomed into the club today on episode. To what episode are we doing right now? 269. 269.
Starting point is 01:26:37 Nice. That way you asked. Sure. How many is always what's on your mind? Well, that means that we've got four inductees into the club this week, firstly from Brisbane in Queensland. I'm pretty sure I know this person quite well. It's Kate Johnson.
Starting point is 01:26:52 Did you guys meet Kate Johnson at one of our shows sometimes? Kate, welcome to the club. Oh, I'm going to be hyping up, aren't I? Don't wait. Kate! Yes! Woo! Yes! Woo! Wow!
Starting point is 01:27:07 CJ! Not bad when he had no idea what he was supposed to be doing. Absolutely. So now that we got them in the momentum going, here's the number two. I mean, normally I'd explain that. So I thought I was explaining it for the audience when I explained it, but I was really explaining it for Dave.
Starting point is 01:27:19 I was also thinking there'd be some sort of cocktails on the menu. Oh, yes. I'll jump in. I got some momentum. Yeah, we're that pretty well. Yes, CJ, don't wait. Yes. Also, from Questnell in BC Canada, CaliTray, could you
Starting point is 01:27:37 BC any more CaliTray? Right. Yeah. Woo! I mean, I can't do anything with Questnell. Yeah, though. You did the right thing. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:27:47 Thanks, Kelly Try. From Brunswick in Victoria, it's Evan Munro Smith. We could just go get him. Oh, can I just say, oh hi Evan. Yeah, that's great, that's great. He does support us as gamey gamey game. That's disappointing. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:04 This night's not gonna be Lamy Lamy Lamy. Yeah! Yes! Woo! Welcome to the Triptage Club. Jeez, ever. That's a great effort. And also finally from London in England in Great Britain,
Starting point is 01:28:15 it's Anna Cox. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Throw a spanner in the works. How about we throw an Anna ino in the works. Alright. Alright.
Starting point is 01:28:26 Alright, and just what our dear, Drinks are we handing out tonight. Everything is alien themed. So you will be eating off frisbees, but they're painted like UFOs. Whoa. And you can get, you know, frog in a pond. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:43 Now, alien in a river. Oh, wow. Got really long, alien in a river. Oh, well. Got really long like gravy boats filled with jelly and then tiny little edible lollie aliens. This is the thing. It's honestly not a good week. Wow, that's great. Also, every cocktail has medurian it, so it's green.
Starting point is 01:29:00 Oh my god, we'll all be shitting green all the way. Yeah, we will. Woo! The illusions will be... A-A-A-Liam. And if you... If you ask nicely, we might... We might deliver your drink through a probe.
Starting point is 01:29:17 Oh, right up your butt. Alright, love that. We'd virus show. Alright, so that brings us to the end of the episode. What a fucking shamoddle. It all with a wills fell right off of the end. Could you want it any other way? No. I mean, yes, probably, but anyway,
Starting point is 01:29:34 thanks so much for joining us, everybody. Find us a do-go-on and all of the things. That's right. Hit us up and do-go-on-pot.com. Lots of links for you to check out. But we'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, thanks so much for listening. And goodbye.
Starting point is 01:29:49 Bye. Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. At Nordstrom, you can shop the best holiday gifts for everyone you love, all in one place. You'll find beauty favorites, cozy presents, fun ideas under 100 and more. Like festive dressing for you in your home, experience the magic at your favorite store.
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