Do Go On - 276 - The Assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand

Episode Date: February 3, 2021

The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand sparked the First World War, but who was he and what lead to his murder? Find out on this week's episode!Buy tickets to our four live Melbourne podcasts on March 28, April 4,11 and 18: https://www.trybooking.com/BOMAA Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodBuy tickets to our streamed shows (there are 12 available to watch now! All with exclusive extra sections): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoonCheck out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.britannica.com/topic/morganatic-marriagehttps://www.britannica.com/biography/Franz-Ferdinand-Archduke-of-Austria-Estehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Austria-Hungary

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Hey everyone, before we start the show, it's Dave here with an exciting announcement, and that is we are back doing live podcasts.

So happy to share the news with you that we are doing four shows at the European Beer Cafe right here in Melbourne, four Sundays at 8.30pm, March 28, April 4, April 11 and April 18. First time we'll be together in front of an audience in such a long time, and we hope you can join us. We did a Patreon pre-sale over the weekend, and we've already sold over. half the tickets to every single show. So if you want to get in, get in quick, including with a season pass where you get four shows for the price of three. You can buy tickets by clicking the link in the description of this episode. We cannot wait. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com

for more podcasts from our great mates. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnikey and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello, I'm Jess Perkins. Hello, I'm Matt Stewart. So Dave, I don't know, have you queued up a song to explain what the show is? No, I'll have to do it manually. Okay. By using my voice, that is. So thank you so much for listening to the show.

It is your first of a time. And if not, let's have a brief recap. What we do here. We take it in terms to report on a topic often, but not always suggested by a listener. It is Matt's turn this week to report. Jess and I have no idea what he's going to talk about for the next couple of hours. And to get us on to that topic, he asks a little question. Yes.

And the question goes like this. What event is said to have lit the spark of World War I? Oh, my God. Would that be the time that they lit that giant rocket? Yeah. Yes. And then it exploded and it said, Fuck you.

Yeah, fuck you. And then both sides went, are they talking to me? Yeah. And then the other side went, Are they talking on me? Yeah. Yeah. Belgium, let this spark.

And then laughed like behind everyone's backs. Yeah. And then that's what happened. So, you know. No, that wasn't it. Would this be the assassination? Yeah, I was going to say, if you need a clue,

how about this? It's the assassination of which archduke? France Ferdinand. That's it. The assassination of Archduke. Take me out. Franz Ferdinand. I saw Franz Ferdinand live a couple years ago.

What were they like? What's that Melbourne venue that everybody hates? Festival Hall. Thank you. It was at Festival Hall. And it was France Ferdinand and MGMT. Bit of a weird combo. Who went on first?

Franz. And then do they play this one? Michael. Something, something, Michael. I don't know. Probably? Probably not. You know that one?

I don't know. But anyway, they were good, but the venue, the acoustics do suck quite a bit. Beatles played there. I know they did. Now it's owned by a big religious company. Is it? Yeah. Well, I shan't be going back there then.

You hate religion. A big religious company? Not for me, thank you. Like, not a religious company, a religion. Oh, I see. I guess they're probably a company. Yeah, I guess in a lot of ways. Anyway.

So this has been suggested by Josh Johnson from Pennsylvania, Evan Lloyd from Darbyshire, Jack Rasmussen from Salt Lake City, and Alex Amerman, also from Pennsylvania. And Alex said this when he suggested it. Do you like murder and intrigue? This is a story about a small political activist group that changed the history of the entire world. Wow.

So yeah, I mean, hopefully I can do it to do the story justice. That's really sucked me right in. Yes, okay. Well, before we get to the assassination, you might want to know who was this Franz Ferdinand. I do want to know. I mean he was an archdu. I know nothing. Okay.

Well, let me tell you about him. Okay. I don't know anything about him either. Any connection to the band? Or coincidence? Pure coincidence. Wow. Let's just say a letter each.

F. All right. R. A. N. They used a quegee board. So Archduke Franz Ferdinand was born in 1863 in Gratz, Austria. It was the eldest son of Archduke Carl Ludwig and Princess Maria Anunciata

of Bourbon to Sicilies, which is a great name. Bourbon two Sicilis. Yeah, that's all part of her surname, I suppose. Wow. I don't really get the naming conventions back then. There's probably some explanation for it, but it doesn't seem like any of the immediate relatives have the same surnames necessarily.

But anyway, Archduke Carl Ludwig was the brother of the emperor of Austria-Hungary, Franz Joseph. There's another example. two brothers, totally different names. And the son also. So you've got Ludwig is the brother of Joseph, their surnames. And Ludwig's son's surname is Ferdand.

So I'm guessing it's something else. Anyway, tweet at me. I'll look forward to the answer. So yeah, he's the nephew of the king, the emperor. Thoughtco.com writes, as a monarch, Franz Joseph was a staunch tradition. and remained so well into the latter years of his reign. Despite the many great changes that had led to the weakening of monarchical power in other parts of Europe,

he resisted all notions of political reform and viewed himself as the last of the old-school European monarchs. I'm the only one who does it in the real OG way. They don't make him like me anymore. No, everyone's sold out. Everybody wants to like, I don't know, move with the times or some shit. Not me. You know how fashion has changed? I'm still wearing clothes from the 1940s.

Yeah. Which is weird that is in the future. I'm still actually wearing cavemen loincloths. Yeah. Because I haven't wanted to shirt in my life. Yeah. So whatever losers. It was good enough for Adam.

It's good enough for me. Give me that leaf. According to Biography.com, Franz Ferdinand began his military career at the age of 12. I mean, a bit late for me. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, go on. I like kids. being kids. So I say start at 12.

Yeah. Okay. I like kids being good. Start at 1. Okay. Yeah. That's where David and I differ. That's why we can't raise children together. We've had many, but we raise them separately. I'm like, right, right. This one is going to the academy. Jess is like, not this one. This one's going to be my little art friend.

I let all my children wear leaves and express themselves however they please. They should. They should do a reality show like. the dance mums, but be like military mums. Oh, military mums is a good title. Yeah. Just an idea, just a million dollar idea. So, joined the military at 12, was sort of worked his way up through the ranks. I'm sure no nepotism involved.

I know, imagine him being a private and then being like telling you what to do and he's like, mate, I'm like the archduke. Oh, yeah, sorry, yeah. Sorry, you don't have to swap this poop deck. And he became major general at the age. of 31. Okay. It took him ages.

I think you're going to say 13. Yeah. You worked this way up for the next 11 months. After the deaths of his father in 1896, also the year that the VFL, AFL was about to begin. Coincidence? The year it was about to begin. So the year before? Yeah.

The year that was. I thought it was the same year and then I, you know, caught myself. I think that's, anyway. Caught yourself in a lie. Yeah. I can't lie to you. Just 70 years before the Saints won there. I want an only premiership.

Yeah. Just around the corner. So his dad died in 1896 and Franz Joseph's only son, crown prince Rudolph, died in 1889. That meant that Franz Ferdinand had all of a sudden become the next in line to the Austro-Hungarian throne. Wow. The emperor wasn't too happy about this as Franz Ferdinand's thoughts on how the empire should be ruled were very different to his old school ways. He was a real new school guy. So Franz Ferdinand would like wear shirts, for example.

Oh, yeah. He wore clothing. He wore clothes from the 1950s. What? Yeah. So he looked like a weird space man to his peers. He was wearing basically a foil. Yeah.

Aluminium foil wrap. Is that how you say aluminum? Loll. La la, lo! Yes. As Sautco, right. I just thought it would be better if I did it. rather than reading it in a tweet.

You know, it comes from someone you love and who doesn't mind you. But to be fair, the tweet would say, did you just say aluminium as aluminium? No, it's spelled differently over there. No, it's not. They also spell it incorrectly. They spell it like aluminum. Wow.

That's wild. I thought it was always spelled the same and they were ignoring some letters. As thoughtcode.com writes, Franz Ferdinand had little patience for the ostentatious pomp of the ruling Habsburg class, which is his family, basically. He's from the, I don't know how to pronounce, this might be Hasburg or Habsburg. That's the house. And there have been for centuries a version of that house had ruled big chunks of Europe.

Wow. Nor did he agree with his uncle's harsh stance towards the rights and autonomy of the empire's various national groups. He felt the old system which allowed ethnic Germans and ethnic Hungarians to dominate could not last. Franz Ferdinand believed the best way to regain the population's loyalty was to make concessions towards the Slavs and other ethnicities by allowing them greater sovereignty and influence over the governance of the empire. He envisioned the eventual emergence of a type of United States of Greater Austria, with

the empire's many nationalities sharing equally in its administration. So because it was an empire throughout Europe, there was all sorts of nations included in it, a lot of backgrounds. And yeah, he was supposedly trying to make it a bit more equal. And that sort of sounded pretty noble. But then on History.com, it says that Ferdinand believed the Serbs to be pigs, thieves, murderers and scoundrels. Look, that's hard to get past.

Yeah. But I mean, Serbia was a country bordering the empire, I think. but there were people with shared backgrounds inside his empire. So obviously, I don't know how publicly he was saying these things. I imagine not super publicly because that wouldn't have gone down all that well. But yeah. See, you know, bloody politicians and royals always lying. Yeah.

Tell us what you really think, even if it's terrible. Have the guts to say what we're all thinking. No. Now hang on. Because we're all thinking the same thing. If you follow that logic. So it's probably fair to say that it was less noble and more pragmatic that he was saying, I want to spread,

I want to sort of spread equality a bit more throughout the empire. But that's basically to keep the empire intact. Yeah, exactly. As Thoughtco continues, he believes strongly that this was the only way to keep the empire together to secure his own future as its ruler. Right, not like everyone deserves rights. It's like, well, we need to give it.

everyone a couple of rights. Otherwise, I think I'm for the choppy. Yeah. Seen revolutions before. I mean, it's smart. But yeah, it's not just like he's going, I believe everyone should be equal. I believe if they're not,

they might not like me that much. The result of these disagreements was that the emperor had little love for his nephew and bristled the thought of Franz Ferdinand's future ascension to the throne. He hated the idea. He bristled. Austria-Hungary was one of,

of Europe's major powers at the time, having been formed as a dual monarchy after the Austro-Hungarian compromise of 1867. I found all this stuff fascinating. I spent this week going down rabbit holes all over the place and they're going to, well, this isn't quite relevant to the report. I haven't to pull myself back. But man, you understand why some people just get obsessed with the lead up to the world war and European history from these years.

It's so complex. I mean, like, you know, it's always complex, I suppose, but just a wild time. So many nations forming and then empires growing and shrinking and all sorts of stuff. By the time of the assassination, it took in modern day Austria, Hungary, those two I reckon you could have guessed, as it was called Austria-Hungary. I don't know. Okay. I am stupid. Also, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Slovenia, Croatia, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, as well as parts of Italy, a small part, a little part of Survember.

Romania, Ukraine and Poland. Wow. It was the second largest country in Europe at the time by area after the Russian Empire and the third most populous after Russia and the German Empire. But the German Empire had only just formed a few decades earlier as well, which I find fascinating. I mean like the mid-800-some time. They had all these different empires, including Prussia,

which I found like a, what is this Prussia? But Prussia was a big chunk of war. what is Germany now? Yep. Dave, I know this is where your family's from, so you're pretty preaching to the choir here. Thank you so much.

You're really saying that for me because I'm staring at him glass yard. What? But I mean, I would have been staring at you glassyard if you were saying this to me a week ago. Yeah. See, that's the power of education.

Yeah. You can not feel like an idiot. Uh-huh. If you just educate. Yeah. Like how I said preaching in the choir before, which was a phrase that was not relevant at the time.

of saying. Yeah, like that. I could have got away with it if this was just a conversation at a bar somewhere. Yeah. But unfortunately, this is being recorded. Nah, I would have followed you to the toilet and said, actually, man, when you said a preaching to the choir back then, what did you mean by that? It was the second, oh yeah, okay, so second largest and third most populous.

So it's big, it's a big, big country. According to Thoughtco again, the empire boasted a multi-ethnic population made up of at least 10 different nationalities. These included Austrian Germans, Hungarians, Czechs, Slovaks, Poles, Romanians, Italians, Croats, Croats, Croats, is what I've heard. And Bosnians, among others. But the empire was far from United. Its various ethnic groups and nationalities were constantly competing for control in a state that was predominantly ruled by the Austrian-German Habsburg family, of which France was a member. And the Hungarian national both of whom resisted sharing the majority of the power

and influence with the rest of the empire's diverse population. For many of those outside the German-Hungarian ruling class, the empire represented nothing more than an undemocratic, repressive regime occupying their traditional homelands. Nationalistic sentiments and struggles for autonomy often resulted in public riots and clashes with the ruling authorities. So there's a lot of tension. It's building and building over generations.

I'll get into these tensions later, but first I'll tell you about the tensions between Ferdinand and his emperor-uncle. I mean, I already touched them a little bit, but there was one thing that happened that really brought it to her head a little bit. And this is from Biography.com. In 1894, Franz Ferdinand met Countess Sophia Trotech, and the couple quickly fell in love. However, marriage to a Habsburg required that one be a member of a reigning or formerly reigning dynasty of Europe and the Chotex were neither.

Just some lowly noble family from Czech Republic. Get out of here. So do they do like a questionnaire. So currently are you ruling any kingdoms? No. Previously were you ruling any kingdoms? Uh-huh.

No, okay. I'm afraid the door list does not have your name on it to know. He's just waiting inside lonely. Sorry. So sorry. The deeply in love, Franz Ferdinand, refused to marry anyone else. So the couple kept their relationship secret.

After the family was informed of their relationship, Emperor Franz Joseph refused to give his permission to the marriage. Eventually, several influential European leaders, including Pope Leo the 13th, argued on behalf of the lovesick franz. Oh my God. If you got the Pope in your corner, that's got a big son. Yeah. And it's also very funny that other people are weighing in and being like, come on.

Come on. Hey, it's love. They're cute. They're cute She's not from a ruling family But she's a countess I can't think of a couple That I would really actively get behind

If you were the Pope Yeah Yeah Okay let's say I'm the Pope Yeah You're the Pope You can't think of a couple you'd fight for Nah

Not even your own relationship Nah What does that say Not even your own What do you mean God if I was the Pope I would not approve of this I wouldn't let this happen

That's for sure Luckily, I'm no Pope, baby. I think the Pope, according to this article anyway on biography.com, was less about, hey, love's love, baby. No, I reckon that. That's the vibe I'm getting from your storytelling. They got it.

They got it. Look at the spark. That's a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing. They call it up the room. They called him the Free Love Pope. Free Love Leo, they said they called it. The Pope did think that the disagreement between the uncle and nephew was undermining the stability of the monarchy. Franz Joseph finally agreed on the condition that no descendants of France and his new wife succeed to the throne.

The couple married on July the 1st, 1900. So hang on. I can marry the person I want to marry and my kids don't have to have the pressure of being the reigning monarch. Oh no. That sounds like a sweet deal. Oh, gee, let me think. Where do I fucking sign? Are you kidding me?

I feel so bad for the royal family. You know, like I look at William, I'm like, you seem nice. What? You got to be the king someday. That's going to suck. Yeah. And then you look at Little George. You're like, no, man.

Which kingdom is this one? Disneyland. Disney. Wow. And they've got a lot of princes and princesses. I know. So imagine being the king. Yeah.

Pressure. Jesus. So, yeah, I'd be signing that deal. Oh, okay, I get to be with the person I want to be with, and I don't have to put the pressure on my children. Oh, no. So the emperor... Is that what he thought?

Yeah, basically. But despite agreeing to the wedding, he did not attend. Which is really just thumbing, you know. But did the RSVP and then not turn up? He really dogged them on that. Yeah, because they probably would have waited for the emperor to arrive. Yeah. Did they get him a present from the registry, though?

No. What a dog. You mean he went solo and just bought something off the registry? No, not even. Didn't even put in for a toaster. What? You are joking. Wishingwell?

He did tick beef, though, on the menu, so there was one extra steak gone begging. Stakes are not cheap. Yeah, that's the most expensive item. He could have gone something else. It was like $40 per head. Shit. Fuck enough. I don't know.

I don't host events. Haven't you posted a wedding? No. Geez, have you lived? Sadly not. Yeah, yeah. You just don't believe in it. Jess is putting up her ring finger.

Oh no, that's not your ring finger. That's your middle finger. Thing. Shut up, Matt. So even though he didn't attend it, that wasn't the end of his sort of thumbing his nose to the wedding. Oh, bloody. Due to Sophie's lower stand.

He gave the marriage little respect. According to History.com, Sophie also became the victim of countless petty slats. Oh gosh. At imperial banquets, for example, she entered each room last and was then seated far away from her husband at the dinner table. What? That's weird. Isn't that such weird?

Imagine that being the king leading an empire. Sit her down there at the other end. That'll show her. She's at the kids table. Every time. Imagine that being your in-laws. You know? I just feel like, what am I?

doing here. Yeah. I'll stay home. I can go back to my own castle. Yeah. Probably. Despite the strange relationship between the emperor and Franz Ferdinand. Because I don't know like what the surname is or whatever.

It's hard to break his name down. I could say Franz or Ferdinand, I guess. And you know what I'm talking about. No, I keep saying Franz Ferdinand. Okay. It's fun when you just insist on saying someone's full name. Yeah. Isn't it, Dave Warnocky?

Thank you, Jessica Perkins. Oh, brutal. So despite this strange relationship, the Archduke, Franz Ferdinand, remained the heir to the throne, making him one of the most important people in one of the big European powers of the time. And he still can't get no respect for his wife. Yeah. I guess he's just waiting for the uncle to die,

and then all of a sudden they know she'll get all the respect because he'll be the boss. I mean, we've all got an uncle we're waiting to die, so we get respects. You know, I can relate to that. But I think, like, basically the deal was that she wouldn't get any of the stuff either. Like, it's not just the kids wouldn't be able to. rule. Yeah. She also wouldn't be the queen, I don't think, and stuff like that as well. Wow. That's brutal. Yeah, it just seems so unnecessary, but there's like, you know,

if you don't marry one of these three people in the world, then. Who's probably also your cousin. Yeah, which we'll talk about soon that there was a lot of that. I do enjoy the idea, though, that you're just thinking, great, well, as soon as you're gone, I'm the emperor and whatever I say, fucking go. Yeah. Exactly right. Oh, what's that? My kid is next in line? Yeah. Okay. That's back on. Yeah. Day one. Yeah, that does feel like the kind of thing is repeal. Like Biden signing all the executive orders. It's like, well, just repeal all the shit that this old psycho said.

Yeah. My uncle. Yeah. Love him. Press in peace. Psycho. Pup. Pup.

The relationship between the powers, these big European powers, were very delicately balanced. There was no one major power at the time. Instead, there were five big powers. And they were kind of split in a two complicated lines. Galiances. Gas. Water. Water.

Hydro. Hydro. Yeah. Solar. You're splitting water and hydros to different powers? Water slash hydro. Okay. Solar.

Do you say solar? Solar. Radiation. Radioactivity. Nuclear power. Heart. Go planet. Yeah.

The worst. I'm so sorry, Marty, but what was that? That would be my, that is what I would choose. Really? As a kid, watching Captain Planet, you chose heart. Yeah, I'm all about emotional intelligence. That's beautiful. I just like to connect to people person to person.

As a ginger, I had to go fire. Sure. I mean, the red-headed, mulleted man, whatever his name was Greg. Wheeler. He was really Greg.

Greg, Greg, his name was a wheeler. No, I think it was Greg. Greg Wheeler. But everyone just called him Greg. Yeah.

By his first name as his custom, you call people by the names. So. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Dave, you probably like, I'll be the monkey or something.

Fuck. Yeah, Abu. You think of Aladdin? Or he's had a name like that. Marti's, monkey, you keep talking and I'll look about it. So there were five big powers and what you said was wrong. Okay, well, everyone's enjoying your pizzazz, I'm sure.

Thank you. It's literally the point of the show. Live feedback. Love that. You're giving pizzazz and I'm giving a saz. So the five big powers were split in a two complicated alliances. On the one side, there was Russia, France and Britain. And on the other side, Austria.

Hungary, and the relatively new country of Germany. Amazingly, of these five powers, three were ruled by grandsons of Britain's Queen Victoria. So that makes them all cousins? That's right. According to the BBC, Queen Victoria was sometimes called the Grand Mama of Europe. And there was hardly a continental court that did not boast at least one of her relations. During World War I, there were no less than seven of the old queen's direct descendants and two more of her coburg relations on European Thrones.

Far out. That's nuts. But three were the big players, three of the big powers. So for the rulers of the world's three greatest nations, this is still from BBC, binging themselves up a little bit. One of those bees is for butts. I think one of the others is British.

British butts. Come. British butts and cucks. And come. That's the BBC. There's another. And the other C. It's the BBCC.

Sorry? BBCC. But somehow it has three Cs based on what I just said. BBCCC. Yeah. The third one in a bracket. Yeah, the third one's a typo. Ah, BBCCCC.

Is that something? So as I was from the BBC. For the rulers of the world's three greatest nations, King George V of Great Britain, and Tsar, Nicholas the second of Russia, on the one hand, and the German Kaiser Wilhelm the second. on the other, they were not simply cousins. They were first cousins.

If their grandmother Queen Victoria had still been alive, said the Kaiser, she would never have allowed them to go on a war with each other. At Christmas being like, apologise. Apologise now. You stop this world war, run now. She has a big t-shirt that has three heads in it, and she makes them all wear it as a friendship t-shirt. And they could take it off after they've made up.

And the four other monarchs are like, why don't where's our t-shirt? She's like, well. Well, we're in one of the three great nations. What do you wanted to do? Have like a fucking t-shirt with seven heads? Don't be ridiculous, Matt. It's a three-headed t-shirt. Come on.

We've all heard of that. Definitely that's a thing. Come on. And she died in 1901, so a year after the wedding. Apart from Germany, Britain and Russia, the other European Thrones. Her direct descendants sat on. We're in Greece, Romania, Spain and Norway. Oh, who's heard of any of them?

As places, yeah. What? Yeah. Norway. Whatever happened to that one? Norway. That's silly. That's not a thing.

Norway. Someone punking you, Matt? You're making shit up, man. No, I read this. I read this on the internet. This is supposed to be a fact-based comedy podcast. You're leaning a little heavily into the comedy, my friend, by making up bullshit. Is that like, is that supposed to sound like no way?

Yeah, no way. Like, Norway. Sorry, I was trying to punk you guys. Yes. You have to get up pretty early to get us. It's actually pretty late right there. According to the Imperial War Museum website, the creation of a unified Germany in 1871,

I said somewhere in the mid-1800s, 1871 to be precise, had disturbed the old balance of power in Europe. Fear of Germany encouraged France and Russia to form an alliance in 1894. This pushed Germany into closer alliance with its neighbor, the Austro-Hungarian Empire. During the 1900s, a dangerous rift arose between Russia and Austria-Hungary, who had conflicting ambitions in southeastern Europe, which is sort of coming,

that's a lot of that tension is where the old assassination happened and what led to it. This conflict was one of the many keys to the following events. According to Britannica, Franz Ferdinand tried to restore the Austrian-Russian understanding without endangering the alliance with Germany, without luck, obviously. And from 1906 onward, Franz Ferdinand's influence in military matters grew. On October 6, 1908, Austria-Hungary announced it was annexing Bosnia and Herzegovina, officially taking it over from the faltering Ottoman Empire. So they'd sort of been in there for a little while, maybe a few decades.

But now with the Ottoman Empire starting to crumble, they went in and officially annexed it, saying this is now part of our empire. Franz Ferdinand apparently opposed the annexation, thinking it would make these tense political situations worse, but it went ahead regardless. I'm imagining a lot of paperwork. Oh, yeah, annexing a country against a lot of the inhabitants' will. Yeah, and then you've got to update your maps all the time.

Yeah. Oh, great time to be like a cartographer. Yeah, nowadays, it's like, well, I mean, do you want lots of different colours or mostly green? Yeah, that's right. How many times can I redesign this map? Yeah. So that's, you know, it's tough. When South Sudan came in a couple of years ago,

the globe makers were like, finally. Thank goodness. We're going to have to redo it. I was literally putting a padlock on the factory. We were going under. Yeah, we were out. We were out. Everyone's got a glow.

And then I got the phone call, and I called back all the staff who were walking away, holding their hats, sadly. I said, guys, oh, come back. we've got globes to make and they cheered and they threw their hats up in the air. It was beautiful. That is beautiful.

Yeah, that was me when I owned a globe factory. Wow. Yeah, I sold the globe factory. It's doing incredibly well. I'm rich. Whoa, you sold it at the right time. Yeah, yeah. Perfect.

Savvy businesswoman. Like I said, I'm rich. Don't look into it. Yeah, we don't need to say proof. This is from history.com. And this is about, the annexation. When the rebellion by the Committee of Union and Progress,

the so-called Young Turks, I knew that term, young Turks, but I didn't know that that was where it came from. They took the Ottoman government by storm in 1908. Their Baron Aloys von Arendthel, who was the foreign minister of Austria-Hungary, saw his empire's chance to assert its dominance in the Balkans. So Franz Ferdin's like, don't do this, but Baron Aloys von Aranthal thought,

hmm, I'm going to do it anyway. Yeah, this is my shot. So he saw the Sultan's weakness there. He saw this is the opportunity, but also Russia, their great rival for power in the Balkans, was also reeling. It had just been done in the Russo-Japanese War and Internal Revolution of 1905. So Russia was on the back foot a little bit after a big. loss in Japan

geez there was a lot of wars yeah I never knew about a Russian Japanese war no I think so but again I'm stupid

so I don't know much well if you don't know about if you don't know about a war in 1905 you are stupid I'm stupid I'm glad you said should I go back to school

Billy Madison style yeah if you don't want to take over the empire Yes. Of course. Well then, yeah, you should. Okay, well, that's settled. That's settled. Are you going to go now? You can wait to the end of the episode? I might wait until it's morning.

Okay, great. At an appropriate school time. But then I'll go school. So the announcement in October of 1908 of Austria-Hungary's annexation of Bosnia and Herzegovina upset the fragile balance of power on the Balkans, enraging Serbia and Pan-Slavic nationalists throughout Europe. though weakened Russia was forced to submit to its humiliation, its foreign office still viewed Austria-Hungary's actions as overly aggressive and threatening.

Russia's response was to encourage pro-Russian anti-Austrian sentiment in Serbia and other Balkan provinces, provoking Austrian fears of Slavic expansionism in the region. So they just sort of had a bit of a low-key campaign. They couldn't fight, you know, and the old-school guns, nine away. So they're just like sending messages whispering. Austria's shit, pass it on. They suck.

They suck. You guys should, you should boo. I heard they still wet the bed. Yeah, that sort of stuff, I reckon. And that's a good their mum

to change their sheets in the middle of the night. Nah. That was sort of, yeah, official comment from Austria, Hungary. Nah. Nah.

I don't. No, it didn't happen like that. Mom, tell them. I can't. And so they were starting to fear Austria and Hungary, Austria-Hungary, we're starting to fear the Slavic expansionism,

and it sounds like these fears were pretty justified, according to the Thoughtco article. The majority of Serbs were staunch nationalists, and the Serbian kingdom, just up to the side of Austria-Hungary, saw itself as the great hope for the sovereignty of Slavic peoples in the Balkans. The great dream of Serbian nationalists

was the unification of Slavic-Slavic peoples into a single sovereign state. They wanted to grow Serbia, basically, to have a big empire with all the Slavic nations, rather than being bowing down to this Austrian-Hungary empire. Pro-Austrian monarchs had ruled Serbia since the late 19th century, but the last of these monarchs, King Alexander I of Serbia, was deposed and executed in 1903.

Oh, dear. So, yeah, it's interesting. He was a Serbian king, but he was faithful to the Austrian Empire. But the people under him didn't love that. And eventually, that led to a coup d'etat. How long for? Let's say two days. Oh.

Safe to assume. A two-day coup d'etar. I believe so. The best length. Which is now known as the May coup. Among the others killed in it were the queen, the prime minister and the minister of the army. It was a full-on coup d'etat. Wow.

It was probably longer than two days around them all up. Yeah, good point. Yeah, I think it was pretty quick. 22-day coup d'etat. Yeah, that's good. This next little bit about the coup data is from this great resource called Wikipedia.org. Okay. And it's got great info on there.

I do recommend looking it up. Kind of pretty much on anything. But it's kind of underrated. For example, you could look up Captain Planet and find out that the monkey's name is in fact Suki or Succi. Yeah. My apologies.

You could do that. You should. Why don't you? Because then you could find out if that's true or not. That is from Wikipedia.org. Wow. Fantastic stuff. Great source.

This is also from Wikipedia.org. The royal couple's murder upset and shocked most of Europe. So I think it seems fair enough. Look, I'm shocked 100 years later. The king and queen have been killed. Yeah, that would be... I reckon that would make easily top five pages of a newspaper now. Yeah.

Really, so page five. Somewhere. Somewhere, yeah. Page one... Page one is still a sale at white goods at Harvey Norman. Yeah, of course. Well, you know, the newspaper industry isn't doing so. But whatever any of why is done.

But the first four pages are ads. Yeah. But that fifth page will have this royal couples murder. And then another four pages of ads. Exactly. So a lot of shock through Europe, but many Serbs reacted enthusiastically. Russia immediately recognised the National Assembly's decision declaring Peter I as the next king of Serbia and expressed satisfaction that the interdynastic intrigues which had plagued the

country since the early 19th century had been brought to an end. Oh, they were like, well, that's the end of that chapter. Isn't that funny? They were like, well, obviously this violent coup d'aita will, probably that'll be the end of that. I imagine it's smooth sailing from here. Sorry, we've also killed the elected Prime Minister and also the head of the army. But this guy's Peter. Pretty good.

Poita! Welcome, Pete. Austria-Hungary declared its neutrality on the matter, but privately, policymakers in Vienna expressed hope that Peter's ascension would have a placating effect. They're like, well, now they've got the guy they want in there. Hopefully this will all settle down and they'll just happily be a part of our empire now. Sounds to be like everyone's hoping.

Rutter is hoping that as well, right? Everyone's just sort of crossing their fingers. Well, hopefully we can just put this pillow over our face and when I wake up tomorrow, everything will still be here. Do you say the pillow on top of your face, Dave? Actually, I do. On top of your face? Yes.

Because of the eye thing. Yeah, I don't like light. So you put a pillow over the top of your face? In the morning when the light comes in, yes. Okay. It would look like you're trying to put yourself down. Yeah. Does your girlfriend ever help by pressing it down a little bit?

Yeah. Is this what you need? She's like, can you see light? Can you see light now? Go towards the light. Okay. Interesting. But I don't think Russia was really hoping that.

I think they wanted things to kick off. Because they wanted to be taken territory down there. Oh, okay. This is still from wiki.org. The United Kingdom demanded that the chief conspirators be severely punished. And when the Royal Serbian government neglected to carry out this request, The British severed all diplomatic ties. Several other European nations followed in the UK's footsteps and severed ties as well.

Peter, King Peter, the first, lacked the power or authority to punish the conspirators. He also felt a deep sense of obligation towards them, acknowledging that he would not have been able to assume the throne, were it not for their actions. Were it not that they killed his predecessors? Guys, to be fair, I wouldn't be able to, I wouldn't be speaking with you right now if they hadn't. done that. So I'm pretty cool with it. Yeah. I just feel like I want one. Yeah. You know what? Like, I don't know. I just, they scratch my book. I scratch theirs. You know what I mean? They cut off that guy's head. They don't cut mine up, hopefully. I'm speaking nicely about them. I mean, even just that kudata was, yeah, it sounded like it was, there was, there's a few

different stories about it, but one of them was that they had a safe room, the king and queen. but there was a party or something and their wardrobe was blocking their exit from it so they ended up when they stormed the palace they found them they're trapped because of a wardrobe malfunction because of a wardrobe malfunction imagine that

but there was another story that they were hiding in that wardrobe which seems like that was there was never going to be an easy escape from that like one of them is there was a tunnel and a secret escape out the back and the other one they were hiding in a cupboard. Yeah.

They were wearing a dressing gown and hanging on a coat hanger, hoping that someone would open it. All clear in here. Just dressing gowns. I mean, all of this stuff like these stories and how frequent they were, they were, like, these weren't standalone. This wasn't fully out of the blue or anything. There were times where people just got killed. Like this whole story is leading up to a royal being murdered.

Yeah, you really started with a spoilt. too. Yeah, sorry. It's like, oh, what's going to happen? I know.

Don't get too attached. It's amazing that this, you know, you think of the being, we're living in wild times lately, but it's got nothing on some of this stuff.

Yeah. Oh, man. It's weird that humans have so much faith in ourselves to be good, but it's like, we've given no evidence that we can be.

What a track record. Yeah. Pick a 10-year period of any time in history. It's been shit house. Like, we really suck. So the execution was carried out by conspirators believed to have connections to the black hand.

A secret military society formed in 1901 by officers in the army of the kingdom of Serbia. So actual officers in the Serbian army. It's one of the most, I don't know, like depending on who you are, you probably see them as goodies or baddies, probably more people baddies. I don't know. But that name is badass. Incredible. Did you know of that day? Or were you just reacting to a cool-sounding name? Yes, I do know that name, but I believe we will be hearing more from them.

But I do also, I was reacting because it is one of the coolest names. Yeah, it's very cool. That's how I remember it because it's like, holy shit. Yeah, like I'm scared immediately. Like someone, they were going around the table mentioning, and as soon as that name came up, they went, well, don't even bother with any other suggestion. And like, am I booking the Black Hand Party Co to do my child's birthday party? No, it's terrifying.

You know what I mean? Yeah, for sure. Like, it's very clear immediately that it's scary. Yeah, I don't know what, because I'm picturing like a black leather glove. Same. And it's strangling you. Nothing scarier. Just a hand crawling along the table.

Like the head in the outside of. But weirdly, like that should have creeped me out. But I liked a thing. Yeah. He was funny. He was cute. Or it was funny, I should say. It was funny.

Do they refer to as a man? I don't know. Yeah. Oh, good point. And did he ever wear a glove? But then there's Cousin It as well. There is cousin Nip. He sounded so funny.

Yeah. And I had a little hat on. That's funny. I really did enjoy that show a lot. Yeah. So to explain the Black Hand a little bit more, this is from Thoughtco. The aim of the Black Hand was the unification of all southern Slavic peoples in a single Slavic nation state of Yugoslavia, with Serbia as its leading member.

And to protect those Slavs and Serbs and Serbia, still living under Austro-Hungarian rule by any means necessary. The group relished in the ethnic and nationalistic strife that had overtaken Austria-Hungary and sought to stoke the flames of its decline. Anything that was potentially bad for its powerful northern neighbour was seen as potentially good for Serbia. The high-ranking Serbian military positions of its founding members put the group in a unique position to carry out clandestine operations deep within Austria-Hungry itself.

Love clandestine as a word. This included army colonel Dragootin Dimitrivich, who would later become the head of the Serbian military intelligence and also the leader of the black hand. Leader Dragootin. The black hand frequently sent its spies

into Austria-Hungary to commit acts of sabotage or to ferment discontent amongst Slavic peoples inside the empire. There various anti-Austrian propaganda campaigns were designed. Hey, he's going to, he wears the bed. Are you going to vote for somebody who wet the bed? Yeah.

If you want to, that's fine. I mean, our Prime Minister has been accused of shitting himself in a Maccas. Yeah. And he's still our Prime Minister. Yeah. I don't think this was like trying to affect votes. This was more trying to recruit people to violently overthrow via piss. Yeah.

Piss on the bed. That'll do it. Here comes Prince Pisser. It's a real power move. Pissing. That's right. Pissing on your people. Yeah.

That's powerful. That's why my dog does it. Power move. Powerful stream. That's right. So their various propaganda campaigns were designed, especially to attract and recruit angry and restless Slavic youths with strong nationalistic sentiments. That's all from that Thoughtco article.

Of these youths, three were named Gavrilo, Prince. Sip, Trifco Grebes, and Nadelco Keprinovich. We'll talk more about them in a minute, but it's fair to say, when Archduke Frans Ferdinand agreed to visit the newly annexed Bosnia and Herzegovina, in June of 1914, there was a huge amount of tension simmering in the background, and probably in the foreground too. Sounds more, actually, it's probably more foreground. Like a 3-D simmering. But, I mean, it was, I think it was foreground, because apparently Ferdinand reportedly said to

a few people beforehand, like, I reckon there might be some bullets waiting for me down there in Sarajevo. And he had premonitions of dying and stuff, apparently. And yet he was like, let's go. Anyway, that's an invite. I don't want to be out of the house. Maybe like my grandfather and not turn up when I've RSVP'd, prick. Such a prick.

Perf. The plan visit divided locals. It wasn't particularly popular. the idea of, they've just been officially taken in as part of the Austrian-Hungarian Empire and a lot of the people down there were not happy about it. According to Britannica, Balkan politics were turbulent and the neighbouring kingdom of Serbia coveted Bosnia. Moreover, the date chosen for this imperial visit and Hasburg show of force was June the 28th,

a black date in Serbian history. It was the anniversary of the Turkish victory over Serbia at the Battle of Kosovo in 1389, which was many, you know, centuries earlier, but apparently still a very important date there. And this fan the flames of dissent among Serbian nationalists even further. And do you feel like that Ferdinand and his cronies had picked that date on purpose? It doesn't, well, I hadn't read anything suggesting that, because remembering that Ferdinand supposedly is not trying to,

he's trying to be like, hey, we're all in this together and stuff. I don't think he was going there to be like, oie, fuckheads. I'm here to rule over you. That's all, that's the impression I've got from one of them reading. Oh, this is an important day for you. Not anymore.

Fuckos. Yeah. He's not doing that. But it sounds like if he wasn't aware, he was a bit naive to it at the very least, but I'm not sure. But do they have like Google Calendar or Wikipedia back then? Exactly.

Look it up. Look it up, mate. Yes. On this day. Surely you've got someone looking stuff up for you. Are you serious? Next in line of the throne. own.

Insane. And you're not looking shit up. You're not looking shit up? What is wrong with you? What are you doing? You shouldn't be in that position. I'm with your grandfather or uncle or whoever the fuck it is now. Uncle still.

Remains uncle throughout his life. He's like, he's like, he's rocking up. He hasn't graduated. Well, he was my uncle, but I'm bumping him up to the grandfather. You can do that. Yeah. I call all my uncle's grandpa, just to confuse him.

You call your grandpa's uncle? No, I call him, I call my grandpa Dave and his name is Eddie. Well, that is confusing. That's breaking my brain. No, everyone thinks he has Alzheimer's, but really, I'm just confusing him. He keeps saying, my name's Eddie. And everyone's like, yeah, okay, we know. And I'm going, good day, Dave.

Good to see you, mate. You go on a hell. So I've been giving a lot of, I mean, there's all been background so far, but now we're getting to the action of the... Getting into the foreground? Yes, we're getting into the foreground now. As well as the Serbian hate is in the foreground. Yes.

Gotcha. And I'm taking a lot of this part of the story from a few different history.com articles. Great website. I've already quoted three different history.com articles, I think. They really, they like this story. They like World War I. Yeah, I think they're pretty keen on, I don't know, history.

Yeah. That's what I would argue. They love it. They're keen on. If you loved history so much, then why aren't you written on a parchment? Yeah, didn't think so. Yeah, fuckheads. Got them.

Let's get everyone. Should we? Yeah. All right, line them up. Who's next? Thanks, come on. Here we go. All right.

Well, when we get to someone, you really let them have it. Yeah, I'm going to fucking let it rip. Yeah. And then I'm going to tell them a piece of my mind. So this is from history.com. Upon learning of Ferdinand's upcoming visit, the young Bosnians, a secret revolutionary Society of Peasant Students began plotting to assassinate him. Straight up, he was coming.

They had a different target earlier. Didn't quite work out. Couldn't get it together in time. Seems like they're just keen to assassinate. They want to make a big statement. Well, I mean, these are young guys. These ones are talking about, the main guy, 19 year old. Wow.

And they're sort of been radicalised, I guess. Yeah. Via the Black Hand and other such organizations. In May, Gavrillo Princep, Trifco, Grabez and Nadelko Kabanovich traveled to the Serbian capital of Belgrade where they received six handheld bombs, four semi-automatic pistols and cyanide suicide capsules from members of the so-called Black Hand, a terrorist group with its close size of the Serbian army. Right, I was wondering he was giving them that.

At first it sounded a bit like, as they crossed the border, it was like, welcome, please come on in. What would you like? Showbag. How many suicide capsules should I put in here? Six. He's going through, and there's people there scoop and stuff out. How many scoops would you like?

Punitive cyanide, please. After practicing with their pistols in a Belgrade park, the three men journeyed back to... Imagine you just walking the dog. People are just practicing guns. And they're yelling, cop that, France Ferdinand. Yeah. And you're like, oh my God, they're trying to shoot my dog,

Franz Ferdinand. Please come along. Away from there. That was saying, yeah, there's another. Cop that, France, Ferdinand. So I don't know that's given away too much. Cop that Archduke Ferdinand. Yeah, there we go.

No. Cop that Archduke Frans F. And then they're winking as I said. So they practice with their pistols. This is all from History.com. The three men journeyed back to Bosnia receiving help from blackhand associates to smuggle their weapons across the border.

It does feel it feels like they're like, hey little, hey boys. Yeah. Do the hard stuff for us. We got jobs. We're in the army. We can't. do an assassination than kill ourselves.

Do you want to? Do you want to do it? Hey, I'll get your gun. It would be really good for us. Hope you get a little gun. That'd be fun. To this day, it remains unclear whether the Serbian government

participated in the scheme. So there's still a lot of murkiness around it. It was still from History.com. Ferdinand and Sophie departed their estate for Bosnia-Herzegovnia on June the 23rd. Having received multiple warnings to cancel the trip, the Archduke knew that danger potentially awaited them. after arriving at a spa town a few miles outside of Sarajevo

I'm listening the capital of Bosnia and Ferdinand attended two days of military exercises while Sophie visited schools and orphanages so it's a classic you know like a royal tour like I watch the crown and there's a lot of that in that absolutely they show up painstakingly in painstaking detail on the crown of

Diana and Charles coming around Australian stuff on a whim the couple drove in one evening to check out Sarajevo's bazaars. While there, they attracted a crowd of onlookers, including Princep, the guy who was training to kill him. But nothing happened, and apparently they were treated with warmth and politeness.

He hugged them both. Yeah. And he said, I'm going to kill you tomorrow. Pardon? What? Said so nice to meet you. Oh, thank you. You too. Tomorrow.

I'll see you tomorrow. Great. This is the address where we're staying. Room 103. You seem very nice. Let yourself in. He's a key. Yeah.

Let yourself in. Hey, I'm, you know, I'm an open door kind of ruler. Yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah. That's me. Yeah, well, I mean, as you'll hear, I'll say it now, they published ahead of time the routes they were going to drive along in their open-top car. Okay.

Did he also draw a little, like, target on his head? Yes. Which was missed and got him in the neck. But anyway, we'll get to that. Following a banquet with religious and political leaders, only one day of events remained before Ferdinand and Sophie were to return home. That morning, June 28th, the Archduke sent a telegram to his eldest son congratulating him on his latest exam results.

I broke my heart. I don't know why I reading that. Broke when I'm like, oh man, the Archduke, he's a good dad. So they did have kids. Yeah. I read somewhere that Sophie's pregnant, but that doesn't seem to come up a lot. But if it is, this is even more like what's about to happen. Oh my God, stop spoiling it.

He and Sophie then boarded a train for the short ride into Sarajevo. For once, Sophie was permitted to walk alongside Ferdinand during a brief troop inspection. Oh, my God, Sophie, congratulations. Why is that the uncle was like, fine, have it. Once. I get maybe it was just he wasn't around. Yeah, that's right, actually. And he's telling everyone, don't tell uncle.

Please don't tell uncle. Don't tell unc. So after that, the couple got in an open top car for a motorcade ride to City Hall. The car in front of them was supposed to carry six specially trained officers, but instead had only one, plus three local policemen.

Where were the other fight? In fact, throughout the trip, Austro-Hungarian officials allegedly focused more attention on dinner menus than security details. This is still recorded History.com. It's a wild zing 100-something years later. They're more worried about food poisoning than assassination. Oh, is that what are you thinking?

Maybe. He's got a very delicate stomach. Yeah, that's right, exactly. If he gets the runs, parade's going to be very difficult for him. He's in an open-top car, but still, it'll smell really bad. So there were seven young Bosnians. I mentioned three earlier. They spread out along the route.

They all had bombs and guns and stuff. So there was like, if the first guy doesn't do it, the next go will. There's a bunch of opportunities to do it. And so they'll spread it out across Appel Key. That also gives you, like, if you're the first guy, you're like, well, I'll let him go. There's five or six more of these bombs. That is exactly what happened. The first guy lost his nerve.

Don't worry about it. I'm not the last. Yeah. But if you're the seventh person, you're like, fuck, don't put this on me. How has he gone here? But you'd be at the first, you'd be like, how to be done easily before you're sent out. Six other chance. I haven't even looked at how to throw this, activate this bomb.

I won't have to do anything, but I'll say I would have bloody done it. I would have. Bloody hell. Yeah, that's right. I definitely would have. So the main route was along this road, which ran parallel to the Milyaka River. When the motorcade passed by, on its route that it had been pre-published, insane.

Kibronovic asked which car carried the Archduke. So they'd already passed one guy. He lost his nerve. Then it's going past Kibronovic. who I believe was dying of tuberculosis or something. So he was sort of like, I'm going anyway. I only saw that on one video, but I took that guy's word for it.

He said it in a British accent. Oh, that means it's true. You know how much I'm a sucker for those scholarly-sounding Brits. Yeah, that's right. That's why I love Adal. I trust anything she says. Of course. So Kibronovich asked something,

so which is the, which of the car's got the archduke in it? And someone said, oh, it's that one. So then he hurled his bomb at the car. Imagine that you'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought you were looking for a photo. I am not involved. Jesus. The bomb bounced off the folded up roof.

So it's an open top limousine car with the roof folded back, canvas roof, whatever. It bounced off the roof, rolled under the car behind, exploding, which wounded two army officers and several bystanders. but left Ferdinand and Sophie essentially unharmed. Apparently, Kibronovich then swallowed a cyanide pill. I got this from hardcore histories. He swallowed the cyanide pill, jumped into the river, basically going double chance to, he's just going to kill himself one of these two ways. The cyanide pill apparently didn't have the desired effect,

only made him spew up. And then the riverbed wasn't, there was enough water in there to drown, and he was quickly apprehended. Just splashing him out in the mud. And his own vomit. Yeah. He just had a spew for nothing. But then apparently...

Oh, I spewed for this. When did you spew for anything, Jess? What a weird thing to say. Oh, God, plenty God, spewed for nothing. Oh, what a waste of a good spew. What's a point of that spew? So this is back to the History. Cobb article. Why do I say anything?

It's very entertaining. I don't think I'll speak for a bit. I'll go on time out. You go. I love it. No, don't say that, Dave. Out of pity. So, as he's being taken away, according to History.com, he shouted out, I am a Serbian hero. Sort of yelled out to the crowd. All right. Okay, babe.

So it might have been a really good spew. I just had a vomit. I just had a vomit We've all screamed that while we're being Carried out of a pub Innocent people He's just yelling I'm never drinking cyanide again

Someone's holding his hair back Carol Oh my god Don't tell mum Please Don't tell mom Mom don't tell mom Oh my

Sorry I love you He's saying that to the policeman arresting him. Obviously. Okay, now I won't talk. Apparently a couple other of the young Bosians who were there to kill had good looks and didn't take their chances. You know, just young kids are going,

hey, what am I? I don't want to kill someone. I get on, you know, I'm putting thoughts in their heads. And rather than immediately flee Sarajevo, Ferdinand decided to continue on to the planned event at City Hall. Prince Sip was like, I think he sort of assumed that the bomb had worked. And then he found out later that and he's like, yeah, shit. So he was just sort of like hanging around town.

But Ferdinand was like, what a pro. He's like, oh, we'll still go. I almost got blown up. But I'll go to this event at City Hall. You know, I don't want to let people down like my uncle did that time to me. I've RISVPed. I've ticked beef. Exactly.

I'm not letting another state go to waste. And then, so after that event, he insisted on visiting the wounded officers in the hospital. He's like, I've got to go visit them. They put their lives online for me. We've got to go visit them. They, then they went quickly. So they drive quickly back down that main route,

but they're going to obviously turn off to go. a different way because they were now going to hospital which wasn't planned and at this point the driver of his car possibly a few cars in the motorcade made the wrong turn not realizing there'd been a change of plans i suppose the first car goes down it and everyone's like well sure tony knows where he's going yeah and they turned down what was a very busy street franz joseph street wow um on which is the uncle's name that right? Yeah.

Yeah. So. And a glacier. Whoa. Really? Franz Joseph Glacier. So that was obviously named during his reign, I suppose. Maybe.

Could be a coincidence. I'd say, yes. On being told that he'd made the wrong turn, the driver stopped to try and reverse back, but stalled. Oh, how embarrassing. So embarrassing. On a busy street, too. Everyone's looking. Oh, God.

As it turned out, the local. The occasion they stopped and stalled was horribly unlucky as it was where Gavarillo Princep was standing. Get fucked. Right in front of it. No way. And he's about to change history forever. That's incredible. According to the Smithsonian, for the Archduke to be presented as a stationary target to the one man in a crowd of thousands still determined to kill him was a remarkable stroke of bad luck.

But even then, the odds still favoured Franz Ferdinand, C, of all. survival. Princip was so hemmed in by the crowd that he was unable to pull out and prime the bomb he was carrying. Instead, he was forced to resort to his pistol, but failed to actually aim it. According to his own testimony, Princep confessed, where I aimed, I do not know, adding that he had raised his gun against the automobile without aiming and even turned my head as I shot. Even allowing for the point-blank range, because he stopped six feet. Holy shit. Isn't that really incredible? Whoa.

It is pretty striking, giving these circumstances that the killer fired just two bullets. What? One struck Sophie, who was sitting alongside him, while the other hit the air to the throne. It is astonishing that both rounds proved almost immediately fatal. Sophie was hit in the stomach and a husband in the neck. The bullet severing his jugular vein. There was nothing any doctor could have done to save either of them. Whoa.

That is incredible. I'm incredible. Fuck. So he's turned away. He's not even looking where he's shooting. Yeah. And both shots that he fires. He said that he was not trying to kill Sophie.

He was hoping to kill the outstuke. Wow. And it just happened to be standing there on the wrong street. Just because they took a wrong turn. And this is what hardcore history you guys like. He's like, if you ever believe in fate and destiny, This just feels like, and this is the moment that kicks off World War I. Yeah.

Crazy. I mean, that World War I, there's no World War II. Yeah, exactly. And everything changes. Yeah. Imagine we don't exist, probably. Yeah. Living on the moon.

Yeah, you meant because we'd be living on the moon. Yeah, we wouldn't exist on Earth. We wouldn't exist like this. Yeah. We'd exist as moon men. Yeah. Podcasting Moon men. Obviously.

We still do the same job. Surely. There's a popular telling of the story, which until this week I thought was the true one, was that Princep was in that position because he'd sort of given up on the day, on the assassination. He was there to have a sandwich at Schiller's Delicateson, which I believe was right in that location. And he's sort of halfway through eating his sandwich and then looks up and goes,

holy shit. But apparently that's a modern invention that... He didn't have a sandwich. Apparently it was very unlikely there would have even been sandwiches there at the time. He'd never eaten a sandwich. Yeah, sandwiches apparently weren't big in Sarajevo at the time. So you will not be calling this week's episode History's Most Important Sandwich. No.

Yeah, it's unfortunate. I mean, it's when I read, I was reading this article and going, oh no, it's, what was it on? I mean, these will all be in the show notes. But the article was in the Smithsonian. And I think he said that it was really only, and this century that story had sort of started coming up. It's like quite a modern invention. Yeah, which is strange. What a strange thing to catch the popular.

I mean, it's so interesting without the sandwich. Yeah, that's right. Why do we need the sandwich? It's like the most incredible. That was obviously like a story started by Subway. Yeah, that's right. So Gavrilla was eating fresh. Yeah.

Yeah, they've... Mittball sub. Honestly, they've had a great history with their spokespeople, haven't they? This is actually... This guy who murdered someone wasn't the worst of them. Arguably. So it was just short of his 20th birthday, and because of that,

Prince was too young for the death penalty, and instead was sentenced to 20 years behind bars. We apparently tried to turn the gun on himself, but couldn't get it happening before he got arrested. He missed. He got these two incredible shots and then he missed. He missed every thing else. But he didn't see out his 20-year sentence. He died in prison of tuberculosis at the age of just 23. Oh wow, only a few years later. With Europe's power struggles sitting in such a delicate balance, the death of Archduke Franz Ferdinand proved to be the spark that would

ignite the First World War. Codoner History.com. First, Austria-Hungary gained German support for punitive action against Serbia. They got in contact with the Wilhelm, I think he said, if we go in, will you back us? They're like, yeah. Then it sent Serbia an ultimatum, an ultimatum, apparently worded in a way that made acceptance unlikely, basically terms that you would battle to agree to.

Guaranteeing a war. No one wears pants for 18 years. Oh, they love pants in Serbia. Well, can I have them, no pants, no pants or war. Choose, no pants or war. Fuck. Mark, all right. Chops out.

This is still from history.com. Serbia proposed arbitration to resolve the dispute, but Austria-Hungary instead declared war on July 28th, 1914, exactly a month after Ferdinand's death. By the following week, Germany, Russia, France, Belgium, Montenegro and Great Britain had all been drawn into the conflict. Put simply, and I hope I got this right,

Russia got involved because of its alliance with Serbia, then Germany declared war on Russia, due to their alliance with Austria-Hungary, and Britain declared war on Germany after Germany invaded the neutral Belgium, who Britain had agreed to protect, and then the rest, as we know, is history. And I was kind of hoping, I put this seat, Dave, last night, I mess you know, I said,

you don't know what the topic is yet, but would you be up for doing the next part of the story? I'm about, my topic tomorrow is the start of the story. Would you be up for doing the next part? I don't know how you would tackle that. It'd be like the start of World War I. Four years of World War I. Dave, just do World War I.

It's the biggest topic ever. No, I'm not suggesting you do all of that. Maybe one of the major battles or something in the early stages. But whether or not you can find a way into that. I just thought it might be fun. And then Jess, you'd take up the story after the week after that. Damn, yeah. It's just an idea.

Tell me if you don't want me to do that. I mean, I can edit this out either way. Yeah, so then after the war, Austria-Hungary was dissolved, and the Gavrilo-Prinsep dream of a Slavic nation was achieved when the kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slavines was formed on December 1st, 1918, later renamed Yugoslavia, which has also since been dissolved. In a 2014 article marking the 100-year anniversary of the assassination, the Guardian wrote that Princep remains a polarising figure,

revered by many of Bosnia's Serbs, but derided as a murderer by the country's Muslims and Croats. So that's the end of my report. I was going to propose a new segment that I want to try and do each week after our report. And that is. And this sort of, it was inspired by last week's Dillinger Escape Plan Connection.

So each week I'm going to ask the question, has this week's topic inspired a band name? This week, it's a no. But we'll see how we go in future weeks. Oh, man. I was like, here we go, new segment. This is going to be great. All right.

Obviously, France, Bernardine. But yeah, I thought I'm like, Like I wonder, I wonder if that would be the case every week. So I'm going to try and do, even when you're doing the report next week, I'll be going to Google one. It'll be a pretty epic band name, World War I. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be pretty hard to Google.

Yeah, good point. Terrible. Yeah, good point. World War I saved it. The band. Yes. The World War I band. Okay.

That's good. So, I mean, like, I mean, I feel like I say this every time, It's tricky to summarize these huge stories. Oh, yeah. And how much, once you start doing the events preceding it, it's like how far back to you go, how in depth do you go into it? Very complicated. But I found nearly all of what I said.

I didn't know. I knew about the wild coincidence. And I was hoping you didn't know. I didn't know that at all. Because I knew Dave probably. I looked at Dave for like mutual shock and he was watching my reaction. Yeah. And I was like, oh, you both knew that one.

Okay. This is news for me. Yeah. Well, I mean, I... Crazy. Yeah, I only knew it relatively recently, but it's just amazing that that's how the first world war kicked off. Got to be one of history's biggest and worst coincidences.

Yeah. I love when... I love hearing stories of, you know, fate, whatever you want to call it, serendipity, coincidence, whatever. I love when that happens. Yeah, I find... Even in this case? Less so, but you still...

go that's incredible. Yes, it's very mind-blowing. Yeah. Because it's, yeah, it's so heartbreaking and it's, but it's, and like knowing what it leads to it because it's so long ago and we, everything happened as it happened. It's just like one of those things you just go, holy shit. Yeah, incredible. Wild. You know, and I always, I'm always able to express it in words, uh, what I'm feeling. And I think I just did that. Whoa. Wild. That's how I do it. So, uh, anyway, thanks to listening to that. We'll be back next week with another story, but before we move on,

we really should do everyone's favorite section of the show, the fact quote or question section. Fact quote or question. Huh. He always remembers the huh. So the way this works is you get involved at patreon.com slash do go on pod or do go onpod. And we,

then you sign up on the Sydney-Sharmbergh. to like Memorial Edition level package. And we give you a little kiss on your bum. You get a kiss on the bum virtually. And there it was there. And you also get to give us a factor, quite a question. There's a bunch of different rewards, though, for supporting us. You keep us going, our patrons, we love them so much.

They keep this show ticking along. And depending on what level you're on, you get bonus episodes, voting rights on topics. There's online groups, Facebook group, which is very active and fun. and a bunch of other things that are also very nice. But this one is the fact quote or question section. You get to give the fact a quota of question. You also get to give yourself a title. First up, we've got Dominic Stevenson,

who's given himself the title of Mr. Bombastic. Oh, yeah. Mr. Rovalova. I added that bit. That's mine. I came up with that. Wow, I wish it meant something. You are good.

And Dominic has offered us a fact. Love a fact. Love a fact. It means I don't have to think of an answer. Oh, yeah. I like the questions, but yeah, the question sometimes you're like, oh, it's a good question. I don't have a good answer. Yeah. But his fact is, hippopotamontrospatophobia is the name for a fear of long words. That is cruel.

That is mean. And also very funny. That's a great fact. Is that a real fact, Dave? It feels like you would know that for some reason. No, I don't know if that is or not. but I choose to believe because I want to believe. That's good. Keep watching the skis. The next one comes from Jordan Nassie,

who's given himself the title of just a slip of the tongue away from being Jordan Nazi. Okay. That's true. Or Jordan Nasty. That's a, what a, he's put Nazi in his own title. Okay. All right.

I like yours better. Yeah. I'd go with that next time you're opening with that on a Tinder profile. Maybe don't drop Nazi in there, but you are close, yes. You like this one, Jess, because it is another fact. Fuck yeah, Jordan. And it's a World War fact as well. In World War II, there was a Canadian one-eyed soldier who took an entire town single-handed.

He is the only Canadian to receive a distinguished service medal in two wars. His name is Leo Major, and he's a major badass. He sounds like a badass. Is he major in rank as well? Major Major Major is pretty awesome. There's a band called Major Major back in the day, wasn't he? There's always a band.

Maybe he's still a band. There's always a band. What's the guy from the catch-22? Is there someone in that called something like Major Major or something? Oh, I actually haven't read it so I'm not sure. Dave, I thought you're the book where over the show. The book, Chuck. The nerd.

You're the nerd of the show is what he means there. I'm going to see if Google.org has the answer here. It's a frequently requested book sheet topic, we'll say. Yeah, there isn't a major major is one of the characters. Well, that is very good. That is very good. They did a good one. Well done, Joseph Heller.

Very good. The next one here comes from Kelly Clark, whose title is phenomenally philanthropic. Phenomologist. Damn it, close. Phenominally philanthropic. Philanthropic? Phenomomomalropic phenomenologist.

That's as good as I'm going to give Kelly. And Kelly's asking a question. The question is, did you know that Patrons, in addition to all the cool perks listed by Matt at the beginning of everybody's favorite section, also have access to a do-go-on WhatsApp group and a do-go-on Discord?

Even I didn't know that. What? That's a... I mean, that feels like a fact, but it was a question because it started with, did you know? Well, the answer is no.

No. That is no. I think I may have seen people post about Discord. Still don't fully understand what it is. I don't understand what Discord is. But there's a WhatsApp group. Wow. That would be insane.

You can be involved in that if you want to get involved on the Patreon and all these opportunities open up to you. Yeah, wow. Thank you for that question, Kelly Clark. I'm not a... Technically, I'm not a Patreon. I don't think we can allow. So I'm not in there, but fair enough.

Patrons. I will not pay money for this. I won't. The final one here, on that sad note, comes from Colin and Lee Wright, who are the senior and junior liaisons to all mole people. Fantastic.

Can you pass this message onto them? Fuck you. Fuck you. No, fuck you. Give me back the golden woman. Where is she? What have you done with the golden woman? What were you going to say, Dave?

I was going to just say, why? Why? Oh, that's better. What have we done to hurt you? I should have let you say it. I wanted to cut you off. No, fuck you. Fuck you.

No, fuck you. No, fuck you. And Colin and Lee Wright are giving us a fact. Another fact, yes. Is that four. Yes. Three facts and a fact disguises a question. And it goes like this.

Fact. I like it. It says a. Again, fact. Matt is reading this without having screened it, so I could basically make him say whatever I want. Okay. That's a lot of responsibility.

That's the first fact apparently. Second fact, shredded wheat cereal, spray paint, and the Ferris wheel, and the United States Pledge of Allegiance were all invented four and debuted at the 1893 Chicago World's Fair, where H.H. Holmes was hanging out being shady AF. Wow. So what are the four? So it was the Ferris wheel, I remember knowing that.

Ferris wheel, wheat cereal, spray paint, and the United States Pledge of Allegiance. Wow. The big four. That does feel, I've thought about that as a, that'd be a good topic. World Fair?

That World Fair, I guess, in particular. Or shredded cereal, shredded wheat cereal. Yeah, well, that means cereal. Wasn't that, that was invented to stop people? Wanking. And it worked. We've never wanked since. Was that just corn flakes?

Corn flakes. Corn flakes. And it worked. Have you eaten corn flakes ever in your life? Yes. And have you wanked since? Not with corn flakes in my mouth. Exactly, it worked.

All with that. Mission accomplished. Congratulations. Mr. Kellogg. Kellogg's you did it. Thank you so much for those great facts, those great quotes and those great questions. Thank you. But thank you so much, Dominic, Jordan, Kelly, Colin and Lee.

We also love to thank a few of our other Patreon supporters who are on the shout-out level. And Jessica normally come up with a little game that's related to the topic of the day. What do you got today? I think there's a mozzly in here. I don't know with this one. If it wasn't a sandwich, maybe what were they eating when they assassinate? No, that's not good. What about like the biggest coincidence of their life?

Yeah, great. Yeah, okay, sure. Yep. Dave's got to do the first one. That feels hard. That feels hard, yeah. Yeah, that's a hard, yeah. Oh, okay, hold on.

Let me just give me like 15 minutes to like... What about like what genre their band would be? The band that's named after their name. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay, right, because Franz Berden and was that a pop rock band? Yeah. No, maybe a coincidence. Fuck, that's hard.

Or what... What their assassination sparked? That's bad. It's all bad. It's a grim topic. I feel like we can do court. The coincidences one. Quincedences.

Let's do coincidences. I reckon we can do that. Dave, look at his. He's already had his 15 minutes. We did pause there. Yeah. Dave's at 15. Let the record show.

So what show comes up with here? There was no 15 minute break. He got his pen and pat out. He's got a lot of notes. He's ready to go. He called a few friends. He's got a lot of info in front of him. All right.

So Dave, first one from Halesham in Great Britain. Stephen Jaggers. Oh, that's fucking good, isn't it? It's a good name. Stephen Jaggers. What about Stephen Jaggers on his way to the International Space Station? He's flying there. Yeah.

And he felt a little hungry. Yeah. And the only chocolate on board. A milky way. What? What are the chances? What are the chances? So he was a bit peckish, so he went for chocolate.

Because, you know, he's had breakfast. Obviously, you eat well before you get. That's a rule from NASA. Oh, yeah, yeah. Shredded weight. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. And then on the world.

way up. He's thinking, oh, fuck it. Now we're, you know, in the boring bit. We've survived the, you know, the takeoff. I really love a little bit of chocolate. What's this? Oh my God. A milky way.

And then he looked over at his friend and what were they eating? A Mazba. Oh, that's a bit of fun. That's a bit of fun. What a crazy coincidence. You know, the funny thing is he felt like an M&M. Yeah. But he didn't look like one.

Oh, we have fun here. We're going to be great dads, you and I. We are. But I will raise mine in the army and yours will not be. Little artists. I drifted off quite a while ago. I think that was probably for the best. Have we just done seven jaggers so forth?

Yes. I can't anyone else think? I was thinking about, wait, I've got a new fridge coming. How does that work? I guess we've got to take the stuff out of the fridge? Yeah. Yeah, you're going to have to do that, yeah. Anyway, yeah.

So a little peek in a little. where my mind was. Thank you so much Stephen Jaggers. Matt's thinking about a fridge. Well, you guys would have been talking about some real engaging stuff. Yeah, high-quality stuff. Figure out we're going to be great dads, et cetera, et cetera. Let's move on.

The next one, we don't know where he's from, but his name is Bryson Sullivan. Oh, that's a good name. Bryson Sullivan. He coincidentally was, he found out he was lactose intolerant whilst touring a soy factory. Oh, okay, because did he have... Does that make sense? Did he have, like, soy milk for the first time in his life after a coffee, he didn't

shit himself. No, he got his results. He's Dr. Calder. And he said, mate. He said, sorry, I'm just in the middle of a tour, but I'll quickly take this call. I'll take this call. Oh, it's the lactose. This is making me shit myself.

After every coffee. And then he went wild, had six coffees that day. No problem. No shit. Well, obviously, there was some shit, but it was, you know, a normal consistency. Good, good. Is that kind of what? you were hoping for, Dave? That's good. That's good stuff.

Is it, Dave? I loved that. Okay. And finally for me, I'd, thank so much, Bryson, Sullivan. Congratulations on your new love of soy. I'd also love to thank from Seton in South Australia, Nicholas Mowbray. Nicholas Mowbray. Yes, just what's his coincidence? He was travelling on the Spirit of Tasmania. So that's a ship here in Melbourne that goes to Tasmania.

That's right. Cross is a mighty bass straight. When he was visited by the spirit of Tasmania. What, no. What are the odds of that? All the times. And even the spirit was like, yo. Wait, hang on, where are we?

Holy shit. Are we on the back? That's fucking crazy, man. The spirit, because the spirit was like, I was always due to spooky tonight. Yeah. Wherever you were. I was just.

What are the odds you were here? This is crazy. Can we not say, let's get a selfie. This is crazy. No one will believe this. So when you say the spirit of Tasmanian, do you mean the spirit of Abel Tasman? Yes. Yeah, wow.

Yes. Amazing. I know. It was incredible. They both got selfies. Obviously, neither of them turned up in each other's photos, as is custom. We don't turn up in ghosts photos. Oh, he took a ghost photo.

Yeah, of course. And humans don't shop and... You think ghosts don't have cell phones. Read a fucking book, Matt. You're embarrassing yourself. Yeah, okay, no, fair enough. You're embarrassing all of us. Why are you thanking me?

Thanks. I'm ripping you a new one. Why are you thanking me for that? I'm ruthlessly owning you right now. Appreciate it. Thanks so much. Do you want to thank you? Yeah, I would love to thank some people.

I do want to apologize to Nicholas as well. I'll try not to contribute much to the coincidence game. No, that was great. They're getting better. I don't know if it was. They're getting better. Each one's been better since day. is a really ordinary start.

Milky Way, come on. That's a coincidence. I don't know if it is. I would love to thank. That is a coincidence. When it was already on board. It would be a coincidence. Yeah, so they packed it on purpose.

Oh, okay. Okay, what about this? What about this? Let's change those. No, but then it's okay. He had a box of celebrations and out of all the ones he picked, it was a Milky Way, meaning he ignored the Mars and the galaxy.

No, no. That's what I realized. I mean, he could have had a Maltese or what about it? Matt, what if he had a packet of, what did you just say? What package? Celebrations. He had a packet of favorites. Yeah.

Thank you. Yes. Thank you. Does that make it better, I don't know. I mean, it makes it confusing. It means he skipped the morrow. Which is like a knockoff Mars bar. but I love it I prefer a morrow

It's the only place And get them now Is in the little Little ones Fucking love a morrow Anyway I would love to thank From Cambridge in the UK

Barnaby Slater Oh Barnaby Slater I want to tell you something though On a road trip Can you work a coincidence in here And also Barnaby Slater Okay yeah

Never mind I won't tell the story Coincidence Okay No I want to hear the story I just want to see you work tell you the story then let's see if we can work it. Okay.

Okay, so on a road trip last summer, pre-COVID summer, so like two summers ago, we got very into air hockey. Everywhere we went, there was air hockey, so we just played a lot of air hockey, and we named it the Slater Cup, and we would be playing air hockey, and every time you got a goal, another person,

we would go, Slater! And it was very fun, to the point where we considered buying an air hockey table instead of a dining table. We got home. Oh, they were mean smart. Put a sport over the top. It was Slater the brand of table?

I don't remember where Slater came from. But I think that works in well with Barnaby Slater's coincidence. It happened to be in the hotel game room that we were playing Slater Cup in. Yeah. And we yelled Slater and Barnaby said, yes, how can I help you? Hello, it's me, Barnaby Slater. From Cambridge in England. That's how they talk.

My word it is. Yeah, what are the odds of that? I know, what are the odds that we would yell Slater? At that exact moment. Barnaby Slater, fantastic coincidence. And thank you so much for your support. I would, uh, secondly, so sorry. What a way to thank you.

So sorry, Barnaby. I would love to thank. From Fairyland in Queensland. Have you guys heard of Fairyland? No, I love it though. Incredible. Sure, I went to Fairyland as a kid. Were there like, big, like, uh, Goldilocks statues and stuff?

stuff. I don't know. Isn't there a place outside of Melbourne somewhere called Fairyland? Well, this is in Queensland. So there's two Fairylands. Two?

I would love to thank Aaron Sells. He's a real estate agent. In Fairyland? That's the coincidence. His surname Sells. Yeah. Or is that nominative determination?

Sorry, mate, you just sort of just trailed off there. No, he nailed that sentence is what he did. You heard me, Dave. So you think a coincidence there is that Aaron is a real estate agent. Because imagine if you were looking, you get a real estate agent, you'd see

then go, well, this guy's changed his name. He'd have to turn up and say, hi, I'm Aaron Sells. Yes, it's my real name. But I'm not, I don't know about you moneybags, but I am more looking for an Aaron rents kind of real estate agent. Well, the irony is that he doesn't sell, he rents properties. Yeah, okay, he's a property manager. Yeah.

which is a great noble job if my property manager is listening. David Quirk used to say that's my actual name, David Quirk. It's not a funny stage name. It's my actual name. Quirk. Is that your impression? It's pretty good. A little attempt there.

Yeah, that was good. So we're sticking with Aaron as a real estate. That's something that he says occasionally on stage that I say all the time, little joke there. Yeah, it's a good one. I enjoy that a lot. Yeah, no, he's a property manager. So he's not a salesperson at all.

Yeah, perfect. Oh, oh. No, it doesn't matter. We'll save it. He works at a real estate agent, but it's the cleaner. But he doesn't do any of the selling. Like, as he on his TV ad, he would do a double thumb point of those as Aaron's sales.

100%. Yeah. But it's like, but everyone thinks it's actually a very cool ad. Yeah. It's on one of those ads where people go, what a fucking wake up. He probably, probably his motto would be, Aaron puts on the market Aaron sells

Very good You give house to Aaron Aaron sells Give house Aaron give me house To Aaron Aaron Aaron sells

And these four numbers Written in crowd Aaron it was already bad How we made it so much of Hey You're welcome. You are welcome.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you for your money. Thank you for your money. Thank you for your support. Money. You say money and it makes it sound gross. It is gross.

Support is what they're really offering. It's a business, baby. That's right. Something that Aaron sells understands. I would finally love to thank from Bradford in West Yorkshire, Ashley Dickinson. Ashley Dickinson. Fantastic name. Coincidence.

here. Of course, once upon a time, Ashley Dickinson was having, she was having, he or she was at the birthing center, cow birthing center.

Okay. I'm really looking forward to what this is going. Yeah, me too. And when there, he said, didn't realize they got lost on the way and was looking for directions,

got out and they were lost on their way back from getting leg sculpting surgery. And as I went in, someone was pointing at a couple of newborn calves. I said, look at those two beautiful new calves.

And Ashley said, thank you so much. And it was a bit awkward, but a bit of a bit. A bit awkward I zoned out in the middle And I still got it

I did too I did a lot of work there in the middle Yeah it's great Yeah I don't know if you can tell I didn't know where that was going When I started But look at the amazing destination You ended at

Incredible dismount Ashley must be stoked with that Thanks Ashley You rule Thanks so much Ashley I would now like to thank From Cana Windra In New South Wales

Jack Beath Jack Beath What about Jack went out for a hike Yeah Listening to Queen Yeah Lovely

Bohemian Rhapsody Bambon boom boom boom Boom boom boom boom boom bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum He looks over You know who's walking down Down the hill Who?

Who? Brian May Fuck on As he's listening to the really guitary bit And he's going Brian Brian Brian!

And he said, No photos, please. He kept walking. Yeah, classic Brian. Wow. That's a wild coincidence. What a coincidence out of all the bands. And you happen to be listening to Queen.

Yeah. A such an obscure band. Yeah, that's right. Amazing. And then I bet all the people around Jack were like, who's that? What band are you talking about? Who?

What? Queen? Isn't that Queen Elizabeth the second, do you mean? Have some respect. No, they're an incredibly cool band. What? You mean that old band with that crazy shaggy hair? Yeah.

Was once a cool rocker? What? I don't believe you. I believe you. Coincidence. That is a coincidence. Believe it. What I'd love about Ribley's Believe it or not, the TV show is it would have Dean Kane, okay Superman.

At the end, he'd say a story and then go, believe it or not. And then he'd say, believe it. And he'd be like, well, is it, believe it or not? Are you giving us the option or are you telling me to believe it now, Dean? Or is it like a... You've been forcing this on me? Yeah. It's like a multiple choice and then you're telling me the answer?

Superman. Believe it or not. Believe it. Believe it. And then he'd walk away and then maybe like a like a teaky torch would go out or something. And you go, oh, was that controlled by someone on the set? Or was that a coincidence that went out. Or not. Thank you, Dean Kay. Believe it. So thank you so much to Jack Beath there rocking out with Brian May in the forest. I would now like to thank from Adelston in England. This is Sophie Shooter. Shooter. Who does a lot of great work in our Patreon Facebook group. Keeps the community spirit alive.

So thank you so much, Sophie. Yes. I think you haven't done one in a bit. That's very much on purpose. Okay. Do you want to let you start? All right. Sophie was, mine are all meat base today.

Or soy. Sophie was walking down the meat aisle. Yes. At the local supermarket, when of course. She saw the very cow whose meat she was buying. The cow was walking through going, has anybody seen chunks of meat? Presumably bleeding out. And Sophie was like, oh my God, it's so crazy.

I actually just picked this up. Let me stitch this back into you. And the cow made a full recovery. Oh, wow. Coincidental. Stop. making me do this. Life-saving.

A life-saving coincidence. Yeah. Wow. Sophie Shooter. Well done. Yeah, she saved a cow's life and made a lifelong friend. Oh. Just somebody else in a different aisle.

Oh, okay. Yeah. That's a coincidence. They both reached for the same bag of lollies. Oh. Struck up a conversation and... And then a cow came and said, has anyone seen my hooves been boiled for a while and added dye and sugar to it?

Anyone? Yes. And then the packet of lollies. and then they sort of ingested them back into their hooves. Yeah, and their hooves grew back. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. All right.

I'd like to finally thank someone. Someone's had a bit of fun here. And it seems like they've made up a place. Okay. Which I find a little bit offensive. They're from Skudddd-Nazchavan from a place. The country is listed as Norway. Oh, what?

Have you heard of it? a real country. Matt, did you plant this? It sounds like no way we get it, mate. Yeah. Oh,

no way. Okay. Okay. It's not so cool that we got a listen, not only a listener, but a patron supporter in Norway. That's sick. Awesome.

All right, that is cool. We have heard of it. That was a joke. No, thank you so much for your support. And I would like to thank now. And also,

Scudan and Shevon. Hmm. I think Dave said it better. Yeah, and he said it worse, right? He said it so bad. Waded it out. I said it.

Mine took 15 seconds together. I've said it. Isn't that weird that Dave said it better? Because he said it worse. It's so weird. That's weird. I would like to thank Lean or Lenny Hoynez. Coincidence.

Coincidence. What about Lean was flying their kite? Yep. And I got tangled with another kite. Yes. Do you know who was flying that? Whom. Brian.

And he said, Fucking hell. I paid. I paid 40 pound for that. Shit. And the coincidence is that another Patreon supporter. Yeah, can you believe that? And also met Brian May.

Exactly. We listed nine names and of those nine two have had incidents with Brian May. That's crazy. Cranky Brian May. Yeah, exactly. Brian May has cracked the shit to have two of those nine people. Cranky old Brian May. Fucking hell.

It looked like a drag and then you ruined it. Yeah. That's classic. Thank you so much. Leen. Lean? So thank you so much to the lean. Sophie, Jack, Ashley, Aaron, Barnaby and Nicholas, Bryson and Stephen.

Legends won't all? And finally, Jess, you want to explain the Trip-Ditch Club? So the Trip-Ditch Club is a very special club. We like to thank patrons who have supported us for three consecutive years. And I like to think of it as like an airport. port lounge, but way cool, and you don't have to get on a plane after. Like a good airport land. Like a seaport lounge. It's like, it's kind of like a country club, but like not wanky. It is exclusive, but yeah, but we're not elitist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely right.

I picture a lot of like crushed red velvet curtains and stuff. Yeah, okay, yeah. I don't know why that is. So we've got a bar, cocktail loungey sort of thing. Yeah. There's booths, everyone gets her own booth. We've got music every week and a rotating menu. of hors d'oeuvres and cocktail specials. This week, of course, we will be having the food of Austria. Oh, probably sausages? Sausages. They've begun sausages?

David's more your part of the world. What are they doing in Austria? And other treats. And what's the cocktail? Cocktail is the Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger. Oh, that is. What's in that?

Protein powder. steroids and a little bit chocolate peanut butter and a banana it's a protein smoothie Are we talking a Vienna sausage Viennese apple strudel Oh yeah

Wiener Schnitzel Yes Potato goulash And a nodal Yes All that yes I want all this This food sounds so good

I'm just looking at this up as well Pow Whittle Is a A thick sweet jam made from plums. Ooh. Ooh. Oh, the plums.

Oh, me plums. Oh, me plums. Oh, me plums. This is what you say about the jam. Yeah. Ooh, me plums. Delicious. There we go.

And Dave, who, you are obviously in charge of booking the musical acts each week. Who have we got performing this week? Well, unfortunately, no bands did tie back to the topic this week in any way, shape or form. So we are sadly left with the music of the BGs. Oh, we couldn't get cranky. Brian, mate. There was a number one album last week was one of the BGs, probably the living one.

Barry. Barry Gibb. And he had an album which was the songs of the BGs. Yeah, hell, but re-sung with other artists. I think Dolly Parton did one with him. Bloody hell, that's quite a boon. But opening for him is, of course, the famous Austrian singer, Falco.

Ah, Amadeus, Amadeus. Is that Falco? Come and rock me, um-a-d-d-d-d-a-d-dus. Dias. Great. And, yeah, so I'll read the names off the list. Welcoming people in so they can get settled in, listen to some Falco tunes,

grab a, grab a Schwarzenegger off Jess. And as you come in, Dave's your hype man. He's going to hype you right up. Dave, of course, needs his own hype person. And he's in my contract. And just plays that role. Yes. Do you answer to hype man or a hype person?

Yeah, hype man. I think hype man is like a gender neutral term. Great. Okay. Okay. So we've got a few in this week. Great. Seven. We've got seven, Dave. That's right. Momentum. We can do this.

You really have to keep me up, Jess, because without you, I am but a man. Yep, let's do it. All right. From Leeds in Great Britain, it's James Underwood. Let me lead you to the dance floor. From Coventry in Great Britain, it's Troy Vinton Brown. Well, you've been vindicated with Vinton Brown. Yes. Yes.

Woo! Again from Leeds in Great Britain. It's Lewis Fowlestone. Oh, let me lead you to the bar. Oh, yeah. Also, we're not coming Fowlestone tonight. From Burke in Virginia, I believe. VA, it's Maximilian Duke.

Oh, well, the Duke is here. Yes. The Duke is here. Matt, we need momentum. Okay, from Carmichael in. In California, the United States, is Daniel McMeans. This guy ain't McMeans. He's McNeice.

From... Dallas, Texas in the US. It's Mani Gaza. There's not Manny Gazas. Like, Manny Gaza. Hopefully, Manny Gaza strips down to his bare essentials. Stick to the script, mate. I'm a red beach.

He's got things he could do it. It's not that easy as it, pal. It's Steven Brown. Oh, well, the night, it was, you know, I wanted to paint the town red, but now I want to paint it brown. It's got a brown town, all right. Like I said, it's not as easy as it looks, mate.

He gives you so much shit, and then he tries, and it's fucking crickets. Browntown. What the fuck? What are we? doing in this club, Christ. It's a fun place. You hate shit.

Yeah, that's right. That wasn't a shit-related thing. Right, sorry, I thought you were trying to say that he was going to have diarrhea. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. Go to Browntown, he's got a shit. I don't know. It's just a rhyming thing. No.

Words have meaning. I thought I was building on what you said. Words have meaning. Why do we have to remind you of that week after week? The things you say have consequences. She said, we're going to paint the town Brown. I said, yeah, let's go to Brown. I thought I was getting involved.

Just wanted to be involved. Sick of sitting on the sidelines. You two getting to hype each other. Look what happens when you try. You can, you ruin everything. You do the next one and we'll give you feedback. Yeah, go on, do the next one. Do it all yourself.

Here we go. That was the last one. All right. Let me make up a name. Here we go. All right, please come on down. Matt Stewart. Ah, who knew it?

It's our man, Matt Stewart. Pretty good, actually. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode. Damn it. You really showed me up there. By using a thing he's used multiple times about his own name. I always said shats to it. Shat Spuett.

I am better at this than you. So that brings the end of the episode. Just where can people find us? They can find us at our houses. No. I will tell you our addresses. The boys won't tell me theirs. No.

You can find us at do go on pod across all social media, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, at do go on pod at gmail.com and also dogoonpod.com or patreon.com forward slash dogo on pod. And you can support us at patreon.com slash dogo on pod. Jess might have said that I zoned out. Yes, she did. This is the last thing I said. Oh, one more thing. You can support us on Patreon.

email the Gmail with Do you know Don't ask if you're just going to recap it Don't make me do it for nothing Anyway Dave boot it's home Yeah Dave tell us where people can find us on Patreon Did we say our website

Do Go Onpod.com of course there's a link there to click to Patreon But if you need to type it in manually It's wwwww dot Patreon.com slash do go on pod Great Thank you so much for listening We'll be back next week

with another episode. But until then, I'll say thank you and goodbye. Later. Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are

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