Do Go On - 277 - The Red Baron

Episode Date: February 10, 2021

The most successful pilot of World War I, Manfred von Richthofen AKA 'The Red Baron', had a bit of a shaky start behind the controls of his plane. He soon knocked up victory after victory and quickly became the most feared man in the skies. But just how long could his streak last?Buy tickets to our four live Melbourne podcasts on March 28, April 4,11 and 18: https://www.trybooking.com/BOMAA Buy tickets to Matt's stand up show at the Melbourne Comedy Festival: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2021/shows/nostalgia-was-better-when-i-was-a-boySupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodBuy tickets to our streamed shows (there are 12 available to watch now! All with exclusive extra sections): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoonCheck out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasListen to Evelyn's awesome song that explains the show: https://soundcloud.com/epicevie/do-go-on-theme-song REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

Hey everyone, just Dave here letting you know that we are back doing live podcasts in front of real live audiences. Four shows at the European Beer Cafe, Sundays at 8.30 at the end of March and into April. The show is actually sold out during the week. But then we've got an email from the venue today saying that they can slightly increase capacity. Yay. So if you have missed out, it's still. like to get involved. Those tickets are on sale now. You can get them via the link in the description of this episode. And Matt is doing a stand-up show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival

that is also on sale. Right now he's doing four weeks at the Victoria Hotel in his brand new show. Nostalgia was better when I was a boy. And I am reliably informed that you can get a discount if you use the code, all one word, do go on. I'll also include a link to that in the description of this episode. All right, that's it from me. Let's get to the episode. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always. I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello. Hello. Now, it's great to be here on this show that we struggle to explain every week. So a few months ago, I put a shout out on the show, not thinking that anything would come of it, but secretly hoping. And that was, hey, it would be great if we could have like a 60s style sitcom theme song

that explained the show. And we've had a bunch of entries. Thank you so much. People have just been emailing them to do go on pod at gmail.com. And I believe, Matt, we have one this week that I have not heard you. That's right. Well, yeah. I mean, I say it's, well, you say it's from this week.

It was sent in late November. So, obviously, we're keeping on top of the mail box. This comes from Evelyn in Ontario and Canada. And Evelyn writes, hey, guys, the second you put up the challenge to create a theme song, I knew I had to take part. It's definitely one of the cheesiest things I've done, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Here it is.

On SoundCloud, you can put a link to this in the show notes, Dave. Fantastic. Awesome. Something may be a mystery. We'll start it off with a fashion to prepare the laugh soon. There'll be a bit smart and know some really fun facts you got a day. Dave with the pies. Matt with the beer.

Jess. She's the best. Holy shit. That is amazing. A little slice of heaven. It'd be good if more of them could also rank us. I think that would be good. Oh yeah, I didn't even notice it calling you the best means that I'm less than the best.

Yeah. Which I mean, I knew, but. But it's not, yeah. That's why I didn't stand out to me. Because it's just the norm. I wasn't like, oh my God. Hang on, I've been slighted. Well, when people ask you what you do, surely you say,

there's Dave with the pies. me with the beard and Jess she's the best I wasn't sure it was the beard or the beer but I guess either is both very deep both very deep looks at me as a person

yeah that's your personality beard and beer you're the beard guy mine's pies yeah I'm proud and I'm the best yeah that's my thing that was

that was beautiful in the words of Jess Perkins I would call that cute as fuck oh that was cute as fuck And also, like, very much my taste of music as well. So I was like, I would listen to so much of your stuff. Keep making music music. But only if it's about us.

Oh, yeah, preferably. But, you know, not every song can be about perfection. I reckon that might make next year's hottest 100. Easily, because I'm going to rig it. Can you do that? Will you be in trouble if you do that? Will I be in? Yeah, I reckon.

But anyway, we always start with a question. As Evelyn probably said, but I was lost in the melody. I was so lost in the do-do-do-w-w-w-w-w-you-w-w-w-w. You know, we always do start with question. David, is your week to do the report? Take it away. That is right. Now, last week Matt did a topic why World War I started the assassination of Archduke,

Franz Ferdinand. And he did ask me, hey, maybe you could do a follow-out World War I topic. And I thought, yeah, great, of course I'll do the history of World War I from this point. No, I've been a little bit more specific. And my question is, World War I badass. Manfred von Rican. Thoffen or Rickthoffen. Great name.

Incredible already. Manfred von Richthofen is better known by what name? Oh. You've heard this. Oh, the Red Bandit. No, the... Red Baron. It is the Red Baron. Yes, fuck you!

Gonna have to give that to Jess, I'm afraid. Fuck you! Damn it. That's why she's the best, because she takes your half answer and wins. What I did was there, I mixed up the Red Baron. Barron and the sticky bag. bandits from home alone, which I'm often doing. Yeah.

Do you mean wet bandits? Well, they came back as sticky bandits, Dave. Do your research, mate. Read a book. Watch a movie. Fucking hell. I don't do your sequels, except for Terminator 2, the best film ever made. All right.

We've done plenty of military badass reports on this show, mostly from World War II. Yeah. Rarely from this side of the war, I will say. Your side. Well, I think the only one that we've ever been that's not on the side that I guess Australia fought in the World Wars was the last Japanese soldiers episode. I don't know if we've ever done a German soldier before.

Were your ancestors still in Germany at the time? The Warnikis? No. Or the Vornikis? No, they came out in late 1890s. Late 1890s, I believe. Oh, wow. All right, just in time for the VFL, AFL.

Yes, they heard. That's my great-great-grandfather, Heimrich Warnikie, jumped ship at St Kilda. Of maneuver fame? Well, actually, at St Kilda. So, he honestly did. jumped shippets and killed her and didn't go back.

He probably would have supported the Saints if he was supporting it. Which way assume he did. But then of course his great-grandson, my grandfather was, or his grandson my grandfather was a Melbourne supporter. I'm so sorry. Oh, God. Hugely disappointing. Well, mainly for that guy.

Stop that demon! Well, this topic, the Red Baron has been suggested by a bunch of people. Dave Cliff, Zane Hattinga. Oh, my God. Alec McElroy. Aaron Wolf, Rowan Lockhart And of course, one name only needed for Braden. You know what?

A long time ago we used to get too distracted commenting on every single name. So now we kind of, it's a bit of an unspoken rule that we shut up and let the names all be said. But I wanted to interrupt it every single one of those And be like, fuck, that's a good name. Fuck, yeah. That's a hot crop of names.

And we say that every week. But this week in particular, we're not just kissing your butts. I'm never not kissing your butts. Yeah. Never not. You're always kissing butts. Yeah. Do you guys know much about the Red Bandit slash Baron?

I have heard of it. In The Simpsons, I think. Yeah, maybe. I know nothing, to be honest. Very good. I think maybe more kills in the air than anyone else. I had a cool looking plane. Maybe wore a scarf.

Is there a scarf involved? Maybe some of those fun goggles. Goggles. Definitely goggles. And a leather helmet. Yeah. Yeah. How close is he?

The first couple of things were quite accurate. Okay. All right. Flew a plane. Anyway, I don't want to spoil too much. So let's let Dave go through the story. Yeah, let's let Dave tell his little story. Yeah.

Okay, so I've got to put in the disclaimer that despite my name, being Warnieyke, a German name, for the record, I even mispronounce my own last name, according to a German exchange student I once met. So I'm going to continue that tradition by possibly butchering. a few of the classics. You're going to do your best. I will.

And that's all that anybody can ask you. I've even like Googled. I've listened to people how they say the name. It's just like, that sounds fantastic in a German accent. Yeah. Here's my attempt. The man that would one day become the Red Baron, Manfred von Richthofen,

was born on May 2, 1892. The son of an affluent family of Prussian nobles. His birthplace is now in modern day Poland. Oh, surely you call a Manfred Mani, right? Yeah, I think so. I've never heard it. Anybody actually go by Manfred. Manfred.

What about Manfred Man band? I take it all back. That's not the name of the band. Man from Man something, something banned. Yeah, whatever. Close enough. Round it up. Whatever.

That's such a fun. It's so early to just give up. We've been here for five minutes. Oh, whatever. So you're saying Manfred Man should have called himself Manny Man. Yes. Or Freddy Mani, Freddy Man. Mani Freddie, getting a manny petty.

And which one's which, Dave? Which ones are manny and which ones are petty? Manny hands, petty feet. No, petty is children. Mani men. Yes. Petty. Adults get manis.

Children get petties. Haven't you heard of a... The pedicuris is a children's doctor. I'm really slipping behind the ball this week. First, this home alone thing, now child doctors. Embarish yourself twice right off the bat. Come on, mate. I'll win you back with some facts.

His father was a major, Albrecht von Richthofen. And like their father, the Red Baron or Arby and his brothers were expected to walk in his footsteps and join the military. But before then, as a young boy, he enjoyed horse riding and game shooting. there is two hobbies. Horse riding and shooting little birds. Ah, game shooting. Not shooting Monopoly.

It puts a bunch of board games up on posts in a park. Shoots at him. Cop that Hong Kong edition. We had that growing up. Really? Yeah, for some reason. He was tuted privately before becoming a military cadet at the age of just 11. But he didn't like taking instruction by his own admission.

he couldn't see the point in doing more than the bare minimum to pass. So his teachers thought very little of him. I think last week, Archduke Franz Ferdinand joined the military at 11 as well. It must have been a thing they used to do. What were you doing when you were 11? I got braces. I joined the Army. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, I was firing a submachine guns. Okay. Didn't get braces though, so. Yeah, well. A braces is at 11. It's quite young. Yeah, I grew early so they could put them on. I didn't have that much growing left.

Right, okay. We're the only one? Looking around the classroom? Yeah, I didn't have in like grade six. That's early. But that means I had them off by year eight, which is when a lot of people are starting to get them. You're blooming in year eight.

Yeah, I was hot in year eight. Fantastic. Fugly for grade six and year seven. Who cares? New eight, you want to be hot in year eight. Hot bitch. Who's this hot 14-year-old? Yeah.

That's going to be edited out news against you by someone. Yeah, probably. Oh, no. I was referring to myself. Oh, no. That won't be it. That bit won't be in. No.

This whole bit. I've taken you out of context, and then I've put some context at the end. I wouldn't want to make you look like a fool. So our man, von Richthofen, was an active teenager and won prizes for his gymnastics on the horizontal bar. Oh, yeah.

And it was a bit of a thrill seeker. Well, yeah, gymnastics. I wonder he climbed a lightning pole for fun and attached his handkerchief at the top. Ten years later, when visiting his little brother at the academy, he was proud to look up and see the hanky still there. But he hadn't blown his nose since. Funny where you can find pride, isn't it?

Yeah. I put that hanky up there. Yeah, cool. Absolutely glowing. Do people like, see that hanky? No? Well, I put that there. Yeah, all right.

That was me. Yeah, it was me. He completed his schooling in 1911 and joined the third squadron of the Ulan cavalry unit. So he rode a horse. Great. And then he was commissioned as an officer. As Matt reported on last week, I'm not sure have we noticed this,

but World War I kicked off in 1914 for reasons we are still unsure. Why? No, I explained it in quite a lot of detail last week. Yeah, I'm not entirely sure. Yeah, completely confused. Yeah. I guess someone just said the wrong thing about. someone else.

Yeah, that's all I can remember. Yeah. No. Well, the war kicks off in 1914 and being in the military, the Red Baron is ready to fight. Yeah. He served as a cavalry reconnaissance officer on both the eastern and western fronts, but the conditions of World War I were unlike anything that had come before it. Trench warfare, where each side remained in opposing dugout trenches, resulted in a bitter stalemate

between each side, and I meant the cavalry and horses were almost used to. Doesn't trench warfare, in hindsight, seem quite dumb? Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? I'm in my hole. You're in your hole. Every now and then I'll shoot and then you hide. And then when I stop shooting, you start shooting.

And we'll do this for many years. Yeah. It doesn't sound like fun. I'm more into like cyber wars, you know? Cyborg wars. Cyborg wars. The cyborgs go at it. Yeah.

What are cyborgs again? We can just watch TV. I'm throwing the cyborgs in a war. No idea what they are. Not quite sure what they are. They're not the ones that are half human, half robot, are they? Yeah, I think they are. Oh, now, that's...

I was just thinking I was chucking in robots, but... Which half's human? Dave? Genitals. Half. Half of you as genitals, Dave? Yeah. Have you not seen?

I mean Robocop? No. But I think I'd know if Robocop was mostly genitals. I feel like that would come up in conversation more. Yeah. We've talked about this in the past. A snake is mostly neck, but I didn't know a robo cop was mostly cock.

Yeah, that's right. It's a cock with a couple of guns attached. Whoa. His head does look a bit like a cock. Head. Head of a cock. I mean, it looks like one because. Oh.

Thank you. Oh, God. Now, horse riders' cavalry are pretty useless in the wall. You can't just go prancing around no man's land between the trenches. He can't even prance around anymore. He's like, I've backed the wrong horse here by backing any horse at all. So the career military man was pretty bored. He was doing reconnaissance, passing letters around.

He wanted to make a mark. And now he was stuck riding a useless horse. He was then ordered to join the army supply branch and the thought of transporting goods instead of actually fighting killed him. He needed action. So having seen and been inspired by German military aircraft, he applied to join the Imperial German Army Air Service.

The story goes that in his application, he wrote to his superior officer, quote, My dear excellency, I have not gone to war in order to collect cheese and eggs, but for another purpose. Oh. That's essentially I'm not here to fuck spiders.

Yeah. I hope the superior is like, oh my gosh. We have put you in the wrong spot. Oh my God. You're not here for... Do you not the cheese and egg man? Oh, I'm so sorry. That is an admin error.

But to be fair, we are a little busy. There's a lot going on. Sorry about that. And he's like, yeah, I'm vegan and this is pretty hard for me. Yeah, this is honestly making me quite uncomfortable. It's debated whether this actually happened to that letter. But regardless, he was accepted into the Air Force. Okay.

Having only flown a horse. Have you flown an aircraft? I've flown a horse. Say no more. Right this way. Welcome aboard. How many hooves does this plane have? Hayah!

He's there whipping the plane. And weirdly, it's working? Yeah, my God. How is he doing that? This guy gets results. Help. Let me just talk to this plane. What's that?

What's that? Whoa, girl. Whoa. She needs petrol. He initially trained as an observer and was assigned to an aviation training unit at Cologne. His job was to accompany an enlisted pilot in a two-seater albatross, sitting behind the pilot, directing him where to fly over the lines so he could gather intelligence over enemy lines. I probably should have written there.

He's like, go that way. And you have to realise the context of the time, the Wright brothers, who I've also done a report on, only flew the first ever plane, the Wright Flyer, for 12 seconds, just 12 years. years ago. Oh shit. So it's pretty experimental. Planes had come a long way, but they were still pretty basic. And at the start of the war, most of them weren't even armed.

They didn't have like a drinks cart. They didn't have any of it. There was no first class, just business. What the fuck was the point? I only fly first class. That's why we're broke. No, we're up the back going. Why does she keep doing this?

Do we need to spend the entire tour budget on flying one way to London? Yes To quote from a website that Matt actually linked me to Wikipedia.org, am I saying that right? That's very good. Resource. Enemy pilots at first simply exchanged waves or shook their fists at each other.

Good. Due to weight restrictions, only small weapons could be carried on board. Intrepid pilots decided to interfere with enemy reconnaissance by improvised means, including throwing bricks, grenades and sometimes rope, which they hoped would entangle the enemy planes propell. Pilots quickly began firing handheld guns at enemy planes.

So it was, the planes were too light. You couldn't have heavy weapons on there. So they took bricks. Yeah, that's right. Light bricks. Oh, all right, then. Hollow bricks. That's wild.

Yeah, they didn't have, you know, fancy machine guns on it yet. And then, like, eventually they're like, fine, I'll just take a handgun out. And there is instances early on in the war where someone shot down an enemy plane by firing a handgun at it. That's incredible. Which is amazing. Yeah. And then it got to the point where they were sort of like tough guys flying up next to each other. And they're going, let's do without the guns.

And they'd drop the guns out. And then they sort of just hit their wings against each other. Like, come on, let's go. Mano or mano. Yeah. But then one of the guys realizes he's about to die. So he pulls out a little knife from his sock and starts stabbing the plane. Stabbing the plane.

Yeah. And he's the one who was evil all along. Yeah, bad guy. And then right. Then you're like, oh, maybe he's being fair. No, he's not. No, he's not. stabbed a plane right in the guts.

Sean Claude Van Plain. What a dog. What a dog of a plane. I have no idea what you're referencing. A lot of films. Okay. You know those films are like, let's go. You and me, this whole movie's been building up to us having a fight.

There's some complicated backstory about how I screwed you over when we used to be buddies fighting on the same side. Now let's go. And then Stallone fights Van Dam. And then Stallone's about to kill Van Dam. And he's like, well, let's not fight fear anymore. Here's a knife that I prepared earlier. I mostly watch a cartoon.

All right. So you've got the Bugs Bunny. I'm listening. The Bugs Bunny. Yeah. And I remember when Justin Timberlake went up to The Bugs Bunny, he said, drop the the The. And it really changed everything.

Wow. I wish I could remember who he was playing in that film. So I always just, so in the social network, Justin Timberlake played some guy who told the guy playing Mark Zuckerberg to take the The The off Facebook. I reckon that's probably the tenth time I've referenced this on the show.

first time explain it, regretting the explanation. No, that was great. It was the Napster guy, right? Edit out the explanation, please, Dave. Okay, fantastic, because we all just got it. Yeah, everyone just got it. It's just a good joke.

It's just a good joke. It's just, I beg you, I'm going to actually correct myself there. It's just a perfect joke. Perfect joke, thank you. Speaking of great jokes, can you also edit out when I said game hunting was shooting at board games? I feel real gross about that. Really? Yeah.

You reckon you could... No, Matt, you just... We're just having a bit of fun. People get it. Yeah, I mean, we know that. But someone out there is going, well, this isn't a gold standard I'm used to. Well, you know, that just proves that we're human.

And sometimes we're a bit shit. It's the swings you miss to make the swings you hit. Even better. If you hit everything you swung at... Boring. Yorn. Yorn fest, this is my day to day. Right?

But then if you miss, when you do hit, it's like, oh man, that euphoria. Oh, I cannot wait to finally experience that one day. One day, little buddy. One day. That's my theory with the Saints. Yeah. When we finally win a premiership, oh my God. Yeah, you've warned us before and hopefully, you know, family members that when the Saints do win a premiership,

you will be disappearing for at least a week. I will be going to the game with my passport. Even though. And a flagon. And also a little dagger and ran my ankle. Just in case. Just in case. I mean, even though Australia's borders are closed at the moment,

you will somehow end up in the Caribbean. Yeah, I have a funny feeling. Me too. On board some sort of a super yacht. Yeah. You have to go mano or mano against the captain. And then Matt is the captain. Yeah, winner takes all.

because you kill the captain. And then that's how we eventually do a podcast on international waters because Matt lets us on his boat. Thanks Matt. Thanks Matt. And the yacht is called El Barge. I love it. Do it on a barge.

You always want it on a barge. That's just a yacht called a barge. It's actually a super yacht called a barge. Hang on. Does your super yacht have a pool? Oh yeah, of course. Wonderful. Well, I mean, where else would you swim?

Exactly. In the beautiful water surrounding it? No, thank you. I like chlorine. Okay, Dave, you may continue now. It'll be a salt water pool. Oh, even better. It makes my hair go all cool and wavy and I feel fancy.

Do love a salt water pool? Yeah. I love salt, you know that. Yes, we love salt, but we also love talking about how planes were a bit shit at the start of World War I. Yeah, just like we're a bit shit sometimes. But well said. There's nothing like war to necessitate huge advances in technology, and the planes themselves quickly became weaponized.

Only around the outbreak of the First World War did the planes start to get equipped with synchronization gear. The Germans were the first to implement this on the Fokker Eindekker fighters. That's fun. That's fun. I will be saying Fokker a few more time. I'm like, did you have to go a long way around to work that into the report? I definitely read that and thought that's going on in. So synchronisation.

So synchronisation gear is a synchronisation gear, rather, was a device that allowed the plane's machine gun to fire bullets through its spinning propeller blades without hitting them. Wow. So it's incredible engineering. That's wild. So they weren't always reliable at first. I would have just aimed them. Like, yeah, I just assumed they'd be put in a place so they didn't have to shoot through.

That must have been impossible for balance or something. So you're, so imagine yourself with the controls and one of these old, like, fire-up things. Where you're looking is where the plane is aiming. So the best place if you come up behind someone to shoot them is if you can just fire right in front of you. But the propeller is also there. Oh, man. So they've timed it so that in between the blood, the machine gun bullets fire.

That's amazing. Imagine like being the first one up there going, well, let's give it a go. Wow, how clever. And they weren't always reliable at first and continued to get better throughout the war, but thinking about how fast the propeller spins, it still blows my mind.

Yeah. Wow. Because the Germans were the first to develop this technology, it really took their opponents by surprise during the first couple of years of the war, and this period was referred to as the Fokker Scourge. I had one of them myself

What did that mean? Yeah, what's that? What's a fucker scourge? You'd probably first have to explain what a scourge means. Yeah, what's a scourge? Well, I'll start there. I'll fill this one. A scourge is a very successful period.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, great. Fantastic. All right. That clues that up. Hey, Dave, do go on. So, Rick Toff and, first job was to sort of navigate from the back seat.

And the first time he went up, Rick'd off, and he was just shitting himself. He wasn't sure what to expect, and as soon as the plane took off, he immediately lost his bearings. He's supposed to be in charge of telling the guy where to go. Immediately, look. You can still see the runway below him. Oh, we're on. Where am I?

We're in the air. We're in the air somehow. So this is a quote from his book that he later wrote. Good sign. I had not the slide. notion where I was. I began very cautiously to look over the side of the country. The men looked ridiculously small.

Yeah, we understand that. I love it. I guess not many people at this time have ever flown, so it would be mind-blowing. The houses... People had been a while away. You had seen people far away, though, right? He'd been close up to people his whole life. The houses seemed to come out of a

child's toy box, he wrote. Everything seemed pretty. Cologne. was in the background. The cathedral looked like a little toy. It was a glorious feeling to be so high above the earth, to be the master of the air. I didn't care where I was, and I felt extremely sad when my pilot thought it was time to go down again.

Already I was canning down the hours to the time we should start again. So he immediately got lost, but he loved it, and he was hooked on the feeling. Hooked on a feeling. Ooga, chaco, Oga, Oga. Sounds like an absolute fucker spurge. That's not what it was. That was better.

You made it better. Fuck a splurge. Fuck a splurge. Fuck a splurge. Oh, no. His friend, uh, George Zuma, great name for a pilot. Yes.

taught him how to fly solo and on Christmas Day 1915, Richthofen passed his final examinations. Wow. It was around this time that Richthofen encouraged his younger brother, Lotha von Riktoffin, to join the Air Force. It was also good. Lotha. Basically telling him.

him, if you do anything else in the army, you'll be bored. He thought he was saving his brother from boredom. Right. Uh-oh. The senior Richthofen studied aerial tactics under the master German strategist, Hortman Oswald Bolker, who was one of the original fighter pilots. Wow. Because it's so new that there are, like, the first people that have ever done this

are still around. Yeah. Still doing it. Yeah, wow. In March 1916, he joined the number of, to bomber squadron flying a two-seater albatross C3. And he didn't have the flying start you might expect for someone whose name we know over 100 years later. Imagine there's not many pilots from this era that you can name.

So you'd expect him to have a great start. Yeah. Well, in fact, he looks like a pretty shit pilot the first time I got it in there. He couldn't control the plane and even had a minor crash during his first flight. Oh dear. Whoopsy. Uh-oh. I've had a whoopsy.

I've had a little whoopsy. Well, he's still, he's trying to figure it out. after years on a horse, right? Yeah. Slightly different. The one, the ideal stepping stone in between would be one of them flying horses. Yeah.

Yes, or a merry-go-round. Oh, yeah. Get him on there. Now I get it. He's like, oh, the people look like tiny ants from up here. Well, despite this less than ideal start when he crashed the plane on his first car. He flew his first combat mission after less than 30 years.

hours of flight instruction. So imagine that you get 30 hours and then you're out there fighting in World War I. How much you're going to do to get your license, your driver's license now? It's like 120, I reckon. That is what, I think that is what they say to mask or anything. You've got to get your 30 flying hours. Yeah. So they say you won't get good at stand up until you've done 30 hours on stage.

Yeah. And then you'll probably be the best. The best day. Seinfeld's done 30 hours. Has he? Yeah. Chris Rock's done 30 hours. God.

How long do you reckon you've done? I reckon 15, 15, 16 seconds? Yeah, it's probably about right. So I'm on my way. I'm on the journey. Oh, of course. Yeah, but you know, you'll get there. I stepped on once, immediately stepped back off.

Yep. And then another time I was trying to go to the bathroom. Yep. And I didn't realize I'd cross the stage. And then I had to cross back. And that all added up to 16 seconds, I think. Yeah, great. You looked down at the stopwatch and you went, thank God for that.

Yeah, thank God for that. I'm on my, I'm on the way. Oh, yeah, accidentally walked across the stage that time. Yeah. Oh, whoopsie. Yeah, I see. I know your ploy. Seinfeld was not happy.

That's a big stage too. Yeah, I said, sorry, Jare. Like, I call him Jair. Do you? How does he respond to you calling him Jair? He sort of, he just had a look at me, like, I respect you because we're both comics. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they're the only people he really cares about. Was this look as three or four large security guards whisked you away? Yeah, I knew he'd only send them if he felt a connection. Oh, yeah, connection. Threatened by... Threatening connection. Yeah. Threatened by how good you are in comedy.

Exactly. He was like, oh, no. Dave, could you edit out? So he got cocky early on and drove through... I say drove, flew through a storm against a more experienced pilot's advice and realized when he got to the other side that he was, was lucky to make it and vowed to never do that again. Okay.

Unless specifically ordered, of course. He was prepared to do anything. Yeah. In 1916, Bulkar, the legendary pilot I mentioned before one of the first ever father pilots, was putting together his own squadron called the Yaster 2, and he selected Richthofen to join. Oh, cool. So not a great start, but you impressed people early on, so he got a shot. He had a good attitude.

Did he show some moxie, maybe? Yeah. Well, I mean, his attitude was, why do more than the... the bare minimum. No, that was when he was a kid. No, he was, yeah, he was prepared to put it all on the line. Bulkah was such a legend in the world of military piloting that it could be said he wrote the book on it.

Wow. Because he did. Okay. He wrote a book on fundamental aerial maneuvers of aerial combat called the Dicta Bulker. There are eight fundamental rules and these helped Manfred von Richthofen become the greatest pilot of his day. These are the rules. Try to secure advantages before attacking.

If possible, keep the sun behind you. This puts the glare of the sun at the enemy's eyes and makes it difficult to see you and impossible for him to shoot with any accuracy. Yeah, okay, that makes sense. Always carry through an attack when you've started it. Okay. Fire only at close range and only when your opponent is properly in your sights.

Yeah. Always keep an eye on your opponent and never let yourself be deceived by ruses. Oh yeah, don't fall for ruses. I mean, if you see a ruse and you're just like, I'm going to fall for this one. Yeah.

You're a fool. Oh, that's a good-looking ruse over there. Might go investigate that ruse. What's that behind that ruse? Better check it out. Number five, in any form of attack, it is essential to assail your enemy from behind. I imagine back then it was difficult to shoot backwards.

Yeah. From behind, sun's behind you. You're like, they kept moving. You're like, mate, you really need to stay in this straight line here. I need the sun behind me. I need you in front. Please. Come on.

How I'm going to shoot you otherwise? Ugh, so rude. Selfish and rude. That's even worse. That's a double whammy. This one sounds risky to me, but if your opponent dives on you, do not try to evade his onslaught, but fly to meet it. So play chicken.

Yeah. Went over the enemy's lines. Never forget your own line of retreat. A big problem. back then is you'd get over enemy's lines and your engine would fail or you get shot down and then, you know, you get captured. Yeah. So watch out for that.

And finally, for the squadron, attack on principle in groups of four or six when the fight breaks up into a series of single combats, take care that several do not go for the same opponent. So man up. One on one. Yeah. Okay. Yep. Many of Bulkas concepts conceived in 1916 are still applicable today, including the use of

Sun and altitude, surprise attacks and turning to meet a threat. Oh wow. People are still taught that over 100 years later. Amazing. Rick Toffin employed the listed tactics and his first confirmed downing of an enemy aircraft happened on September 17th and 1916. His autobiography states, quote,

I honored the fallen enemy by placing a stone on his beautiful grave. The ultimate tribute. Beautiful. Stone. It was in his shoe. making him quite uncomfortable while it was passing the grave. He just emptied it.

Yeah. Beautiful tribute. Beautiful tribute. Beautiful grave. Yeah. Beautiful grave. To celebrate his first victory, Rick Toffen ordered a silver cup engraved

with the date and the type of enemy plane, a tradition he maintained throughout most of his career. He's kept silver cups of all of his wins. And he had to keep expanding the trophy captain. Wow. Because now a flying ace is a distinctive. title given to a military aviator credited with shooting down five or more enemy aircraft during aerial combat. So you get five, you're referred to as an ace for life. Wow. Five doesn't seem like

that much over the course of hopefully a long career. I mean, I haven't done it, so I'm not saying it's not impressive. I guess that shows how hard it is to do. Yeah. So that's sort of the scale we're working on here five. People go, ooh, shit, you're pretty, you're really good. You're like in the top percentile type thing. And I say the baron. kept up his tradition of getting an engraved silver cup for most of his victories. He did so until his 60th victory. Wow. When the war limited the availability of silver in Germany.

So he ran out of silver for his cups. Whoa. Yeah, so five's good. Five's really impressive. Yeah, he got to 60 and went, I, okay, and they went, mate, we can't keep giving you this silver cups. Wow. That's nuts. His most famous scalp came early on when on the 23rd of November, 1960.

the Baron shot down British ace Major Lano Hawker V-C The Baron described him as the Bolka of the Brits. Yeah, wow. So he's like, you know, his hero. And a VC. It's his version, yeah, and a Victoria Cross recipient. And he shot him down pretty early on.

Wow. Probably a sign of pretty good things to come for the Baron. Sadly, he also saw Bolker his own hero shot down soon after that. Bolka was credited with 40 victories, which was thought of as incredible. the time. So maybe he's that for a bit of a scale. The man considered one of the godfathers of this whole thing had 40 victories. Right. I've already mentioned that he's going to get to at least 60. Wow. I've rector often received the

poor Lemurit in January 1917, which is a medal after his 16th confirmed kill. That's the highest military honour in Germany at the time, and informally known as the blue max. Oh, the blue max. So you got that pretty early on. He also was assumed command of Yuster 11, which ultimately included some of the elite German pilots, many of whom he trained himself, several of whom later became leaders of their own squadrons. His younger brother, Lothar, was also a member. So his brother was also very, very good.

Yeah, wow. It was also during this time that Riktoffin took the step of painting his Albatross plane bright red. He later wrote, quote, it occurred to me to have my packing case painted all over in starring red. The result was that everyone got to know my red bird My opponents also seemed to have heard of the colour transformation Oh So it's like a psychout almost Yeah because it's kind of like counterintuitive

You think about it like most of the time Like even that's flying from the sun You want to do a surprise attack And now he's Cockerly painted his Plain the most obvious colour It's a bit of an arrogance thing isn't it Not an arrogant

It's like yeah Matt's right It's a psych out thing Like come at me You can easily identify me. I'm not scared. Yeah. So that would only make the myth around him bigger. It would embiggin it.

It would imbing the myth. Would you not agree, Dave? I believe a noble spirit embiggins the smallest man. Yeah. That applies here. Cromulent. From then on, he almost always flew a red plane of some sort, including the celebrated Fokker triplane,

which was the distinctive three-winged aircraft of the week. which he's most commonly associated. Jeez, that takes me back to 93. Three wings. Why? Three layers. I see. Okay.

I was imagining two on one side one on the side. Oh no. So it's from the front. Three layers makes sense. Yes. In his book, he writes of a battle, and it's almost like he knew he'd made it when this happened. He'd just shot down an English plane.

He said, I had the impression that my opponent was wounded, for he did not fire a single shot. When I'd got down to an altar, sheet of about 1,500 feet engine trouble compelled me to land without making any curves. The result was very comical. My enemy with his burning machine landed smoothly, while I, his victor, came down next to him in barbed wire of our trenches and my machine overturned.

So he just crashed next to him. The two Englishmen, who were not a little surprised at my collapse, greeted me like sportsmen. As mentioned before, they had not fired a shot, and they could not understand why I had landed so clumsily. they were the first two Englishmen who I'd brought down alive consequently it gave me

particular pleasure to talk to them I asked them whether they had previously seen my machine in the air and one of them replied oh yes I know your machine very well we call it Le Petite Rouge or the Little Red

So he just shot down this guy and then went over Mateo are you? How are you ever seen my plane before and the guy's like oh yes Good sport yes Well done sir Wow

Hey everyone, just Dave here letting you know that this week's episode is brought to you by our friends at ExpressVPN. Now, you know what's not fair? The fact that Netflix hides thousands of shows from you based on your location and then has the nerve to increase their prices on you. That's right, starting at the end of this month, they're raising prices once again. Now, you could just cancel your subscription in protest or you could be smart about it and make sure you're getting your full money's worth by using ExpressVPN, like I do.

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This peaked during April 1917. In that month alone, the Red Baron single-handedly downed 22 British aircraft, including four in a single day, raising his own tally to 52. Wow. So 22 in a month. That's nice. And as I said before, five is pretty impressive. Yeah.

Doesn't that show how silly at all is? Obviously, war is very silly. But it's like, these people have no problem with each other, but they're just going about trying to kill each other. Yeah. And he's like, they're the first ones I've brought down alive. Yeah. Yeah.

Crazy. So it was quite interesting to actually be able to speak to them rather than just put a stone on their grave. Tragically for the British at this time, their training was inferior to begin with, and they were losing so many men to replace the fall, and they had to keep training to a minimum, and it would often send out pilots well before they were ready.

And, of course, the less experienced pilots were more likely to get taken out, and it quickly became a vicious cycle. Yeah. Where it's like, great, eight hours, training, you know how to turn that thing on, get out there. And then suddenly... Go to Madison Square Garden. You're not ready.

You're not ready. You've like just started flying and suddenly you've got the red baron behind you. You're going, oh shit. Yeah. So all of a sudden his numbers aren't that impressive. He's shooting down children who've just, you know, learned to walk. I'm trying to think of if I've ever done 22 of anything in a month. Maybe lived through days.

Okay. I've done 22 in a month. Meals. Okay. In a month. Easily, yes. Including four in one day. Sleeps?

Sleeps? That's not, nah. Nah, that's impossible. Sorry, stupid. I hate myself. You're just a liar. I'm a lawyer. Stop fibbing.

I've got bloody fibbenacci of you. Hang on Matt. I just have to ask Dave a question on your behalf. Thank you. Dave, could you edit that out? Well, I left it in when I accidentally said Archimedes. well, Fibonacci instead of Archimedes. I'll never forget the tone with which you yelled, fuck.

Fuck! I was in the bathroom, she was like, oh, no. According to History.com, unlike many of World War I's top pilots who prided themselves on white-knuckle aerobatics, Rick Hoffen was a very conservative and calculating tactician. Preferring to avoid unnecessary risks, he typically fought in formation and formation, relied on the aid of his wingmen to ambush his enemies by diving at them from above.

So rather than taking crazy risks, some of them are a bit like, oh, go out there and do a few flips, so it'll be right? She's more of your Steve War than your Mark War. Yes. Perfect analogy that everybody understands, especially in this room. So you're given the captaincy, but he won't do much commentating later. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Big time. Big time. Oh, yeah. I'm following. Walking in with a bottle up. Not that wristy of a batsman. Yeah. More of it.

He's the ice man. Gets the most out of himself. Makes the slog sweet famous. That's right. He's got that little red hangy for some reason. I think everyone's on board now. Yeah, we're all getting it. He also released a photography book recently, so there's something.

Yeah. And he travels through India. Yeah. What a good. guy. Yeah, that was, I watched the documentary about it. It's good stuff. I grew up a Mark War guy, but I reckon as I get older, I've flipped.

I'm now a Steve War. Wow. Even though I told you at the time that Steve War told me to piss off. No, I love this. I was at the Australian Open and the tennis, and he was, you know, there's all these different things going on the outside courts. I just had an outside pass. would have been 14 or 15 or something.

And I think he was the captain at the time, maybe, the Australian cricket captain at the time. And he was giving, he had some sunglasses deal and he's given away sunglasses. And the crowd sort of dispersed. He's run out of sunnies. I go up and I go, can I have a pair of sunnies? And he goes, nah, sorry, mate, we're all out.

And he's talking to his handler or whatever. And I go, what about those ones on your head? And he said, piss off, idiot. Piss-off idiot. Yeah, I think it was piss-off idiot, I'm pretty sure. It was piss-off something. Wow. Piss-off mate or something like that.

And you like him better because Mark Hall later told you to fuck off idiot. And you went, I'm a stable man. Piss-off idiot. I mean, you did deserve it. No, 100%. I look back and I'm like, yeah, fair enough. I lost being the smarter. Surely you'd be like, little teen kid.

That's a pretty good quip. Yeah. Piss-off idiot. Oh, it's a great moment. Fuck off, you little asshole. I hate you. Representing that sunglasses. Brin.

Piss off, idiot. That's so funny. He's had a bad day. No, but he said it. He looked at his hand or like the cheek of this guy. He laughed and he goes, piss off, idiot. Yeah. It wasn't like with hate or anything.

Well, that's what we tell ourselves, isn't it, man? Yeah. No, no, no. He thought I was incredibly funny and charming. Oh, no, I don't. I think he was just like laughing at the cheek like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids are today sort of thing.

He hated you. He hated you. He knows you. Oh, he knows you, all right. He looks you up on Facebook every now. He thinks about this as much as I do. He says, fuck that kid. Once every now and again when his name comes up. Piss off, idiot.

The Red Baron was given command of the combined fighter squadrons number four, six, ten and eleven. This new super unit was highly mobile and could move at short notice to different parts of the fronts as required. They became frequently known as. the flying circus. Due to the units brightly colored aircraft and its mobility, including the use of tents, trains and caravans where appropriate. Is that where the term flying circus comes from? As in Monty Python's?

I'm thinking so. Yeah, right. There you go. Actually, in this report, yeah, referencing a few previous topics here. Although Rick Toffin was now performing the duties of a lieutenant colonel, which is a wing commander in modern Royal Air Force terms, he was never promoted past the relatively junior rank of Rittmeister, equivalent to captain in the British Army. As the Rittmeister. A fun title.

Well, while we're talking about his rank and title, Rick Tofton was Friar, literally Freelord, a title of nobility often translated as baron. Okay. During his lifetime, he was more frequently described in Germany as Dorota Camp Flagger, variously translated as the Red Battle Flyer or the Red Fighter Pilot. I really wish it was the whatever I said at the start. Siky Bandit. The Red Bandit.

Thank you. This name was used as the title of Rick Toffin's 1917 autobiography. Okay. You probably wrote it himself, but it was highly edited and censored by the German government who used it as propaganda to be like, check out this war hero story. You should sign up and fight. Yeah, right.

Took out all the bits for his last. like I was so lonely up there. I was really scared. I watched a lot of my friends die. It was terrifying. Take that out. Take that out. They left in the bit where he was flying along and just had a wank in the middle of the front. Yeah, because I mean, everybody reading that's like, finally a private place to wank.

That's right. This war's really taken away my ability to wank privately. That's why we're fighting, right? I have to share a room with my 14 siblings. I just want to wank. I'm enlisting. I'm sick of all this trench wank fair. Let's take to the skies.

The baron himself became a beloved propaganda symbol in Germany, where he was lavished with military decorations and featured in numerous news articles and on postcards, further increasing his fame and reputation. But he is now commonly referred to as a red baron all over the world. I like the idea of being on a postcard, really just boosting your fame. I'll take you to the next level. What being on...

You could buy a 10-pack of me at the post office, you know? Pick it up. Write a message on one side. Yep. Picture me on the other. Put me on your fridge. You bloody boot. In his own diaries, the aviator referred to himself as Derrott Kempfliger, the red fighter pilot.

But he was also known as La Petit Rouge and the Red Knight. In his own diary. Yeah. Not just, if I had a diary, it would be like, today I went to the shops. He's writing, today Des Lugan Flugan, Fyten Rugen went to the shop. Yeah, Anne. I might have mispronounce some of that. No, you were closer than I was probably.

I think you sounded a bit more like the Swedish chef. Yeah, I did. It's hard to know if you can be offensive to German war. People in World War, Germans in the World Wars. They weren't pure evil in the first, though, were they? That was only really in the second. Yeah, the scale. And a country on the other side.

It wasn't, I mean, I should look into it probably, before making such statements. Right. Are you asking me to do a history of World War I? Thank you. I mean, can I put it any more clearly? And then, Dave, if you could follow it up with a World War II as well, that would be ideal. Fantastic.

Even more complicated. Genuinely would love a podcast, Dave, by you, to us in the room about World War I and World War II. That's all. If it takes you a few weeks, that's fine. You'd like a few weeks off. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, yeah. Because otherwise it's like

It's split up And it's over several months And we'd forget stuff So it would make sense For it to be consecutive Yes Okay So yes please

Please Please Please Dave So you do like Each episode's a year 19 14 1915 1916 1916

Yeah 17 1918 There you go And then two weeks off And then we're straight to World War II Yeah Yeah Two weeks off

But obviously It's two weeks off For all of us It'd be weird for like Matt to do Some sort of biography in between the walls. So we'll all have a break and then back we come.

Or maybe in those two weeks you just do a couple of reports about the years in between. Yeah. All right. Like the Great Depression. Yeah. Yes. Something fun and light. And then back into war.

Exactly. I mean, everyone needs like a little reset. Totally. Well, I was going to get one final name that he's been called is the Ace of Aces. Oh, that's good. Which is such a badass name. Yeah. Oh, I would have started, you were right at early.

That's a bad name. The Ace of Aces, that's not good. You don't think so? That's such a cool, that's a cool title. The Ace of Bass, that's a cool band name. Yeah, that's true. But the Ace of, like you're rhyming Ace with Ace. The Ace Ate My Face.

Ace, The Ace of Faces. Yeah, I'm in. No, no, no. I said Ace ate my face. Ace ate my faces. Does it have to rhyme for something to be cool? Yeah. I don't even know.

Who you are. Well, they call me the Ace of Aces. Oh, it's bad. It's cool. Ace of Aces. Because, okay. Yeah, it's very cool, day. He's the best of the best.

Because do you think being called a fighter pilot ace or an ace fighter pilot? Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, but he's the ace of the Aces. I thought I lost it because I thought that was cool. You have lost it. The Ace of Aces. You know, the Melbourne baseball team's called the Aces. And they've all got to have killed five people.

Before they can make the team. Yeah. Yeah, it gets really bloody. Wow. We do baseball a little different here. The Baron endured numerous close calls during his flying career, having to crash land a couple of times, but he suffered his first serious war wound on July 6, 1917

when he sustained a fractured skull after being grazed by a bullet during a dog fight with a British aircraft. Wow. Well, they call them dog fights, by the way, when they go, man on man. Yeah. Plan on plane. It's a dog fight.

Emano, Eplano. Because that's our dogs fight in the air. In the air. Shooting guns at each other in between. They're spinning propellers. Right? Yeah. Dog fight.

As I understand him. Never had a dog, but that's how I picked her they'd fight. Oh, yeah. Big time. We have to go to the park, take his plane. Here we go. Help him take off and then just sit back and watch as he fights on the dogs. Tearful goodbye.

Hopefully survives again. Good luck. Goose, you are four months old. It's time you. Isn't Goose one of the names of one of the fighters in that movie? Yeah, everyone's like, oh, you're going to get another dog name of Maverick? I'm like, no. I'm sick of these dog fights already.

Yeah, I'm sick of watching my little dog go off to war. Every day at the park. I could take him to a different park, but this one's convenient. So he was shot, well, kind of shot. Grazed, but it fractured his skull. He was able to regain consciousness in time to make a lot of. a forced landing, but he was then hospitalized. And this is one of the few times he wasn't flying an all-red plane.

Is that any relation to being shot down? I ask you? I don't know, but I'm thinking yes. Probably yes. He was grounded for 40 days. He required multiple operations, and to be honest, he never quite recovered. Some historians have since speculated that he may have been suffering from PTSD post-traumatic stress disorder, and he also suffered from headaches and nausea.

Despite this, he insisted on flying. lying again. He had become a legend in Germany, and it was feared that his death would be a big blow to the morale of the German people, so he was kind of encouraged to retire on top. But he refused a ground job after his crash, and despite the injuries, he stated, every poor fellow in the trenches must do his duty.

So he's like, I got it as well. So therefore, he continued to fly in combat. It does not sound like he was doing very well. This is what he wrote of the time. This is his diary. He doesn't refer to himself in third person Disappointing He says I feel terrible after every air battle

Probably in after effect of my head wound When I again sit foot on the ground I withdraw to my quarters And don't see anybody or hear anything I think of the war as it really is Not with a hurrah and a roar As the people at home imagine it It is much more serious, bitter

That's the kind of stuff That the German government would be like All right, there's a red pen through that section The war is sick I love it I wish wars went forever. So he, and he's only really started to feel like this since he got shot? Yeah.

It's taking the fun out of it a bit for him, is it? Storians have really, if you look through his diaries, it's like, wow, he's really changing tone now. Yeah, wow. Now that it's not just him killing people. Yeah. In 1937, Ricthofen's mother, the Baroness von Riktoffin, published, I'm going to have a crack here. Mine, Craig Staggbudge, my war diary. A vivid, a vivid memoir of her war.

years. PBS published in the excerpt of her diary that I linked to. It recalled the last time her now famous son visited the family home. And it reminds you of the horrors of war. This is him returning home a changed man. She writes, Together we inspected the pictures that Manfred had brought along from the front. A very fine photo showed a group of young flying officers.

His comrades from the first action you saw in Russia. In the centre below them was Manfred. I looked at the picture of all the laughing young men and was pleased with it. What has become of him? I pointed to the first. Fallen. I indicated the second. Also dead.

And his voice sounded harsh. Ask no further. They're all dead. This is back in her own words. All dead except Manfred. As if he read my thoughts from my forehead. He said, you won't need to worry. In the air, I have nothing to fear.

Not in the air. We can cope with them, even if there are many more, meaning the enemy. But imagine that pointing to the photo being like, he's dead. He's gone. And then she's looking at her son. covering from a horrific injury, being quite worried about him. Yeah, understandable. Yeah, brutal.

Yeah, it is funny that he's obviously not connected the people he's killing with being real people. Yeah. And then, but the people on his side is really bumming him out. He's like, that sucks. I guess you can't. You obviously wouldn't be able to be like, I really need to look into this person. I want to know about their wife and kids. Yeah.

Oh, gosh. Waiting at home, probably going to be devastated now that I've shot. their father down. Yeah. I think he's kind of got the attitude until this point anyway of like, you know, knights like dueling with each other. Yeah. And it's like, you know, you're doing it for the glory of the nation.

Yeah. And he's like, I'm prepared to die. They're prepared to die with both being, like, at least brave men with lots of valor. But as the war has gone on, he's sort of opened up his eyes a bit to be like, oh, actually, this is pretty bleak. Yeah. Later he had to see a dentist during this visit,

and his mother heard him say, actually, there's really no point in any more. Like, why am I bothering to see the dentist? Yeah. That's grim. Well, despite his injuries and changed outlook after this horrific crash, astonishingly, the Baron managed another 23 victories. Far out.

Which even if you did just that would be an incredible record. But sadly, awkward things must come to an end. Oh no, he didn't lose his wisdom teeth. Oh, no, not his wizzies. I'd give anything to have my wizzies back. I miss them every day. I kept mine in a jar. Kiss him good night.

No night, whizzies. Oh, no. Shake him up a little bit. Sometimes I forget that I don't have them there and I try and chew with the back of my mouth. Can't do it. Solie. Phantom whizzies.

Oh, no. Sometimes I try to draw any kind of wisdom. Oh. I can't. Not from the back. They sucked them from you. Go on. I'm dumb.

I'm dumb now. I didn't tell me it happened. I thought, I just called a wisdom teeth. some fun reason. Every time they take one out, they get a little smarter. I won't get a little bit. I like a little bit. You look over at the dentist and his mouth,

he's got 57 teeth. He's got 500 wisdom teeth. I found out recently I have too few teeth. I don't have enough teeth. Oh, you need a donor? What do you mean you don't have enough? I've only got 24 teeth. It's not that many teeth.

You only have 24 teeth? Yeah. And what do you meant at 26? No, it's like 32 or something, I think, is... Yeah, right. Normal adult mouth has 32 teeth. Yeah, I got 24. Is it normal to have 24 teeth?

It says people also ask. Yeah, and it says that by the age of 8, you have about 24 teeth. So I got the same amount of teeth as an 8-year-old. Which ones do you reckon you're missing? Mollers? I'm missing. I had six teeth taken out before I had braces, but they weren't all adult teeth. And then I have had my wisdom teeth out.

So even if like two of them were adult teeth, I'm missing six teeth. that sort of adds up, you know. Wow. But yeah, it was a day that rattled me, let me tell you. I think I've got 28. I just try to count it with my time. And that and four have been taken out. Yeah, that's about right.

Look at you, your little perfect mouth. Well, congrats on that perfect mouth. Well, less the whizabeth. I've long suspected that under that beard was a perfect mouth. Oh my God. I just counted. 69 teeth. Nays.

I'm sorry, Dave. All good things must come to us. Oh yeah, sorry, all good things must come to an end. Hopefully the Baron's family is listening, hoping for good news. And they're like, just get to it. From the front. What happened? I don't know.

Stop talking about your fucking teeth. It's our son out there. On April 21st, 1918, Riectoff and flew off with nine other planes from the airfield at Cappie France. Soon the German flies were in combat with a squadron of RAF sop with camels, led by Canadian pilot Arthur Roy Brown. At some point during his battle, the Red Baron was pursuing a plane piloted by novice Canadian pilot named Wilfred Wop May, who would later go on to help search for the mad trapper of Rat River. I mentioned him in that report. Wow.

Wow, what a life. He was the last person pursued. And also, he was a novice pilot. So these are one of those people where you look back and go, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, shit, shit, shit. Oh, no, what I do. What I do? What I do.

What I do? What I do. Aject his seat. Not invented yet. Oh, shit. So the Red Baron's chasing Watt May, who had reportedly been on the tail of the Red Baron's cousin who had just joined the squad.

So the Red Baron sees his cousin being attacked and goes, I've got to help him out. No, fuck you. No, fuck you. I'm the Red fucking Baron. He flew uncharacteristically low and into enemy territory. So he really followed Watmay. And this is against one of his own rules.

And he's, you know, his own usual tactics. According to the University of Kansas, The Red Baron himself was chased away by seasoned Canadian pilot Captain Arthur Brown, who would dive steeply and fired at him before climbing to avoid crashing into the ground. The Baron resumed his pursuit of May, but shortly, facing concentrated fire from Australian troops on the ground, he made a rough landing in a field near the Som River. The soldiers who had fired on his plane from the ground got to his wrecked Fokker triplane, and may or may not have heard his last words, which allegedly included the word

Keput, meaning defeated or destroyed. Rumened to be one of the last things he said. He said his name in the third person, and then he said Keput. He had been struck by a single bullet in the chest, and despite his injuries, he was able to crash land before dying. So he still landed the plane. Pretty good. The plane was not badly damaged by the landing,

but it was soon taken apart by souvenir hunters. They all recognise it as a very famous plane. And the big question is, well, who actually shot him down? Well, let me just tell you over a century later, people are still debating it. Wow, it's a mystery. The raft credited Brown the shooting down the Red Baron, that's the Canadian pilot, but it has now generally agreed that the bullet which hit Richthofen was fired from the ground. There were many Australian soldiers on the ground firing at the plane,

because it was at such low altitude, and some contend that the entry and exit points of the bullet would interpret. indicate that the fatal shot came from an Australian machine gun unit. Wow. And the people who suggest that are... Ozzies. Australia clinging on to... Ozy, Ozzy! Ozzy!

Well, even the trusted source that is Encyclopedia Britannica writes, quote, he was killed in his red Fokker triplane when caught in a barrage of Australian enemy ground fire during a battle. And if it's good enough for Britannica, it's good enough for this guy. Okay. It's so weird how we will cling on to any reference to Australia because when it was like Australian soldiers, I was like, woo.

I know. Honestly, me too. I was like, that's quite interesting. That's us. That's us. We Australian. Wow. We're involved.

We've got such a complex because we're so far away from everything and such a relatively young country in terms of white Australia. So it's always like, we were there. Cool. Yeah. And also like so few people. and, you know, to be honest, relevance on a world stage. Yeah.

That you go, wow. We shot down the Red Barron? Wow, per capita, we did pretty good at this Olympics. Yeah. Per capita, we did pretty well at shooting down this Red Barron. Yeah, all right. Pretty good. Let's take that win, everybody.

Honestly, though, it is so contested. If you Google Red Baron, which I did to this day, most of the articles that come up are titled, Who Really Shot the Red Baron? Or we finally know, Who shot down the Red Baron? There's so many historians who are, yeah, are so big on this. Just to go back a sec there, Dave.

Did you say you Google to the Red Baron? Yes, I did. Really? Really? He wasn't cancelled. Now I had to get through his background a little bit, you know? I don't want to get on here, speak for an hour about someone and people tweet. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Do you know what he did? He shot down many people, which I'll reveal the final tally in just a second. But despite his plane being pulled apart for souvenirs, his body was treated with respect. Allied troops recovered it and buried him with full military honour. So they held like a full service, had the 12 gunshot salute, all that stuff, because he was such a respected enemy.

Which according to some diaries in the Australian War Museum, which I'll also link to, the Aussies that were there that day, it did not go down that well with everyone on the ground. Some people were a bit like, why are we honouring him like this? I only want to honour him if we know that our soldiers are being honoured like this on the other side. Oh, okay. We don't think they are. All right.

The Red Baron was just 25 years old when he died. I don't. I'm picturing a middle-aged man with a mustache. I was thinking before, I was like... I mean, a 25-year-old could have a mustache. Yeah, well, I mean, Dave couldn't have. That's right. I've only come to my own last year or so.

The 25-year-olds might have been able to grow facial hair. That's nuts. He was 25. And this is, this blew in my mind as well. It was just 19 months between his first victory and his last. No way. And in that, time.

And in that time, and also his last victory came just one day before he died. So it was prolific right up until the end. Incredible. In those short 19 months, he had 80 confirmed aerial victories. 80. 80. Thank God it's not like 80. Bang on 80.

Bang on 80. Which proved to be the most of any pilot on either side of World War I. So he really was the ace of aces. Oh, Dave. Stop trying to make ace of aces. Come on. It's not a thing. It'll never be.

thing. It's not going to catch on. It's not going to happen. What, 80? The closest was a French guy got 75. Fucking hell. That's still... Which is amazing. Honestly, yeah, but like... I mean, that's very close. But 80 is like... And in 19 months as well. Yeah, such a short period of time. He's 25 years old.

And before that, you know, he didn't really fly. He just learned to fly and then became the best up there. It's amazing. 25. Wow. That is hectic. So he died quite young, obviously. As head of his own squadron, he had to be replaced, and he was succeeded by fellow ace, Herman Goring, who would survive the war to become famous in World War II as Hitler's right-hand man

and was one of the most powerful people in Nazi Germany. I've never heard of him, I don't think. Herman Goring? Yeah, that name vaguely rang a bell, and that, okay, that makes sense. Very famous for stealing a lot of Jewish artwork and amassing, like it became an obsession of him to have his own note. hundreds of millions of dollars worth of paintings and jewellery and jewelry and stuff like that.

Wow. Yeah, but so he was also a great ace in the World War I, but he survived and then would go on to be an extremely powerful person in Nazi Germany. The Red Baron's younger brother Lotha von Richthofen also became an ace and had 40 kills to his name. Wow. So it's still incredible. And he survived the war.

He continued to fly after the war, however, and sadly died in a crows. in 1922 at the age of 27. Wow, so young. Yeah, right. And the Red Baron has been depicted in popular culture all over the place. His legend has just grown and grown, and he's been in film and movies. Snoopy on Peanuts frequently imagined being a World War I fighter pilot,

and the Red Baron was his opponent, including in the most recent Peanuts movie, so it's still a recurring motive. But of course, Matt, the big question is, what about band names? Well, I'm glad you ask, because I have found on Spotify there's a lot, but with different spellings, there's one with two R's in Barron. Oh, there's actually two with two R's in Barron.

There's the Red Baron. There's Red Baron. There's another The Red Baron. Action and the Red Baron, Red Baron band. But the only one on Wikipedia.org. Oh, yes. Is the Red Baron band. And they were an American Christian and Straight Edge Band, where they primarily,

played a hardcore punk style of music. They're from West Palm Beach, Florida, performing between 0409. So I don't think they were particularly successful, but successful enough to get an orge page. Orge. Well, I also discovered one, and that was Spanish heavy metal band

that achieved international success in the 1980s, Baran Rojo, which is, Ryo was red in Spanish. In 2017, they were ranked number 18. on Rolling Stones, 50 greatest Spanish rock bands. Okay, well, there you go. They're probably the one then.

But it's, the Red Baron has inspired so many bands that have not gone on to do great things. But a lot of, a lot of bands. And some of them are probably good. I haven't listened to any. So if you're just going quantity over quality. Yeah, he's had a lot of kills again. Yeah, fucking hell he's good. He can't be stopped.

It cannot be stopped, even after death. Wow, that's really interesting, Dave. I knew none of that, none at all. I must say I knew there was some Aussie connection with what happened, you know, people claiming what happened when he was shot down, but I really didn't know anything about him either. And it just blew my mind that he was only active for so a few months and he was so prolific. And that five is considered an ace and he had 80. Yeah, like they just, I mean, they just had to come up with that title ace of aces because they, you know, they don't really expect this.

And they, it's just, it is a cool. nickname as well. That's got to be a big part of it. And having a red plane, those are the kinds of things that will keep someone going in the consciousness or whatever, the public consciousness. Yeah, in the history books. Yeah. Nice work, Dave. Great report. Well, that brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show. I believe the fact quote or question section, which has a jingle, which goes something like this. Fact quote or question. Barron! Always remembers the baron. And the way to get involved in this is you go to Patreon.com go on pod or do go on pod.com and you can support us on the Sydney

Seanberg Luxemorial Edition package level rest in peace and on this level there's heaps of different levels some of them you get bonus episodes some of them you get voting rights on topics Dave was this a this is a private choice this was a personal choice by myself but next week's we'll Jess will have chosen via a poll and the week after I will have as well two out of three are done by polls from our Patron's supporters. There's a whole sorts of different things on there. Maybe we'll talk more about them later.

But this one, you get to give us a factor quote or a question on the Sydney-Shaunberg level. And the first one comes from Catherine Klo, Klo-U-G-H-Klo-Klaue-Klao, Clough. Clough. Clough. Clough. Yeah. Catherine writes, well, firstly, she gets to give herself a title, which is record holder for most coffee sprayed across dash from laughing at Doe Go On. But not a Guinness record.

Apparently those guys are real bastards. Yeah, they're real pricks. But do you reckon she an ace of this? Does this happen five times or more? Yeah, I get that feeling. Yeah. I mean, a record holder. It's got a really sticky dash now.

Catherine asked the question. You three are just the best. Oh, Catherine. Fantastic start to a question. Great question. I'm listening. True or false? True.

and have kept us laughing for many years, even when things were a bit grim. Is there anything we can do for you to say thank you? Money. I think writing lovely messages like that is very nice. Catherine? Yeah, you've already done a lot. I guess the usual ways to support the show. I would say, tell a friend.

Yeah, absolutely. That is very nice. Get on social media if that's your thing. Spread the word about it. Give us a review on something nice. It is always nice to, because. That just sort of, yeah, gets us out there. And the more people that find us, you know, the more likely we're going to keep going.

I reckon a lot of the people who listen, probably the majority, found us because someone recommended it took us to them. Yeah. It's someone on another podcast or a friend, yes, family member. It's a real word of mouth game. So we appreciate anyone who has ever. But I do know there are also people who are just someone probably listening today who just searching their pod at Red Baron. and they were just feeling like learning about the Red Baron today. They're hoping to hear about that Spanish rock band from the 80s.

Or they're a Red Baron fanatic who just wants to listen to feel frustrated at people who aren't quite nailing certain pronunciations and things. But anyway, yeah, Catherine, what a lovely message. Thanks so much. I mean, you're already supporting us on the Patreon. Oh, that's, I mean, that's a huge way to support the show. So thank you so much. Absolutely.

You are a legend. Thank you so much. Catherine, the next one. And thanks so much for spraying that coffee. Sprying their coffee. Best way to support us is spraying their coffee. Fantastic. Because you pull up at the lights and you go,

someone's laughing so hard over there. They're just sprayed their coffee. I must find out. Yeah. Hey, what do you listen to over there? Because I assume you're listening to something. I'll send you a link.

Yeah, air drop you'll air drop you'll turn your air drop on. Air drop. Oh no, they just sending me a photo of someone's butt. Yeah, prank you. I play in the long game. If you've got, honestly, I mean, I should say this off pod, but stop air dropping me a picture. pictures of butts.

I'll send you 50 and you've got to guess which is mine. Oh, I know. I know that tush anywhere. All right. It's 50 of mine from different angles. The next one comes from Paul Meller, who has given himself the title of Ambassador Fadougar-on, bracket, Oldham Branch, close bracket. Love it.

Awesome. We've been really meaning to expand further around Olden. Yep. Oldham. Oldham. Sorry. We've also got someone, I believe, we're trying to recruit someone in Olden. Yes.

So we're really spreading, but Oldham, one of my favorite places. Paul has given us a fact. This is Paul's fact. Did you know that the first British fried chip originated in Tommy Field, Oldham, in around 1860, from which the origins of fish and chip shops and the fast food industries can be traced? Wow. Great work. Love you bringing it back to Oldham, my favorite place.

And thank you. Thank you for Chippies. Yes, honestly. Wow. Oh, my favorite food, chippies. It says, I don't quite, I think it's a typo in here, and I can't figure out what it is, so I'll just say it as it's written. There is no named Old Hamer associated with this milestone in food history,

but shortly afterwards, Mr. John Lee's established the first fish and chip shop in the world, locally in a wooden kiosk in Mosley. Around the same time, another gent, Mr. Joseph Marlin, claimed the same in London. Whoever fried the first chip may be a mystery, but my town claimed the origin. Thanks, Paul, and I think that read like there wasn't a typo, didn't it? I didn't hear a typo. Okay, great. I'm sorry, Paul.

Can I piggyback off that fact? This might be very obvious, and people are like, yeah, we all know that, but I didn't know this. You know, how you got to a place they have triple-cooked chips? No. You don't know that? Triple-cooked fries? Like, they've been fried three times, that kind of thing? You never had that at a pub?

No. Well, this fact is going to absolutely bomb. I feel like everywhere's got those now. I've heard of beer-battered chips. Yeah. Triple-cooked fries, never had those? No. I can't ever think of double-cooked fries.

Just fries. I've had fries. That sounds very oily. It'd be almost too crispy. Well, for the people at home that are cultured and have experienced triple-cooked chips, this might blow your mind, or you might be like, yeah, we all know that. They were invented by Heston Blumenthal. Well, that makes sense.

1993. That does make sense. Heston. He's crazy. He's crazy. Oh man, I thought everyone had tried a triple-cooked chip. Where are you getting triple-cooked chips? It's just like a pub staple.

I really don't think we're mixed in the same circles, do it? Yeah, you must go to the fancy affluent parts. The pubs we go to just says chips. Get them or don't, fuckhead. Yeah, that's on the menu. It's very aggressive. Dave, take us to this fancy establishment. Well, I have just Googled triple-cooked chips in Melbourne,

and the number one thing that comes up is try the triple-cooked chips at Rockpool Bar and Grill, which is a famously expensive restaurant. Okay, sorry, everyone. You fancy little fuck. You really outed yourself there as a fancy little fuck. This next one comes from Gary J in the UK. Hi, Gary. And Gary Jay's title is next into bat.

It's a little cricket term there. That's good, Gary. That's fine, Gary. Good areas, Gary. All right. Gary writes a question. I love my cricket. Oh, there you go.

What? We didn't know that, Gary. I love my cricket. So I was wondering if you were playing cricket hypothetically, and one of your co-hosts came into bat while you were fielding in close, maybe it's silly mid-off. How would you sledge them to get in their head? Well, I mean, what did we just call Dave?

Fancy little fuck? Hey, boys, check out this fancy little fuck. Actually, nothing works on Dave. That's what's hard. No, I reckon I know what works on Dave. Dave, we just took a group photo. You look a bit shit Your eyes are closed

I'm posting it Oh please don't Oh please don't Oh no I've been bowled out Oh no Gary why are you starting Turf War And do go on

How would we How would we throw Matt off his game I would say Hey Matt Piss off idiot Steve Waller sends his bed And he just have some PTSD Oh no that's right

And to Jess I would just whisper, hey, you've never done this before. That's a really hard ball. You could get seriously injured. Just walk away. I think probably what any of us could say to any of us would be, you're bad at cricket. You are not good at this.

This will not go well. Dave, you've never been good at sports. Why are you starting in your 30s? You can't even hold the bat, mate. Yeah, great question, Gary. Great one. Ideally, though, I should say, and this is a real. on primates.

If you ask a question, you've got to answer the question. So in that case, Gary, we really needed what sledge we would be able to give to you in reply.

No pressure. Don't have to answer it now, but next time you ask a question or anyone, ask a question. Answer it. Answer as well. For fun.

And also to give us an ad. I thought you might be for fuck sake. For fun! Come on. And finally, this week on the fact quote a question,

we've got one from Roy Phillips. And it's another question. Let's see if Roy follows the rules that we just that I probably haven't ever said apart from on primates. But you've said that you enjoy it when it happens here. Yes. You've definitely praised it. So this one from, oh, Roy Phillips sorry, whose title is tongue twister extraordinaire. What are you doing with that tongue? Roy asks, have you used any of the facts you learn on this? show in conversation. Yes, well done, Roy.

Yes, I definitely have. But, you know, I don't retain much. I can't think of specifics, but I have definitely been like, yeah, we've done a report on that. And I remember this part. Yeah, I have two. One that first came to mind, which I've definitely dropped into conversations, was that Hugh and Pine never rot.

Yeah. Amazing. Thank you, Andy Matthews, for that one. Love that one. From the Gentleman Bush Ranger episode. Yeah. He had a whole chunk on Hugh and Pine. in my mind. The other one that comes to mine, I remember telling a few people after we recorded

was the Franklin expedition, how, spoiler if you haven't heard it, but how it turned out the tins were soldered cheaply. Yeah. And the lead ended up poisoning the food. Yeah. That is a wild. What a wild. They packed so much food. Yeah. That was so well prepared. It wasn't good. And that's What brought him unstuck. I like to tell people about how Dolly Parton's I Will Always Love You is not, in fact, a love song, but a resignation song. That's a great fact. That's a good one. Yeah.

it just, and I just a second, hold it there. Sorry, Dolly, sorry. I've definitely, yeah, wept out the old, the old factor, like, you know. Dave, that's what is nickname for his Johnson. The factoroo.

The old factoroo. Yeah, we're about the old factoroo. And then once I've put that away, then I tell people some interesting tidbits. My friend Alessette Tramily Bertil told me that the plural for penis is peonies. Peanies. Quite a good fact.

I forgot that fact. That's a great fact. I reckon people say peenite. Yeah, peni, peniresses. But it's peenies. Penise. What's Roy's one? Roy's is, I used the challenger blowing up because the O-rings were too cold. At work the other day, it applied to the situation.

Okay, good. You were also just, everyone's quiet in the office. So the challenger went down because of the O-Ring. Okay, Roy. Thanks, Roy. We've talked about this, Roy. Roy. Roy, we're trying to run a kindergarten here, Roy.

Yeah, please stop telling the children about tragedies. They were all very good examples of facts, quotes and questions. Thank you so much, Catherine Paul, Gary and Roy. Thanks, everyone. Like I say, get involved on that if you go to the Sydney-Shaimberg-Dilx Memorial Level edition. Fantastic. Now, we also like to thank a few other supporters who are on the shout-out level, which I always forget what it is, but I think it's one of...

Five dollars a month or more. Yes. Ask-Prod. Ask-Prod level. Jess only comes up with a little game to play, something to do with the topic. Any thoughts? It's got to be a colour and a title. Oh, yeah.

You know? You got to give them their own badass title. A colour and a term for not being able to have kids. So know how quickly we'll run out of those. So the blue sterile. Yeah. Don't waste it, Dave. Save it.

No, it can be a colour, anything. Great. Love it. All right. Well, if I can kick it off, I'd love to say thank you so much from McKay. Keener in Illinois, United States. Sean Gallagher. Sean Gallagher.

How about the green? Whippersnipper. Yes. I love it. Because, you know, spinning blades? Yeah, that's kind of badass, right? You hear it and you go, what's that? What's that?

Oh my God, it's the green whippersnipper. I think green doesn't make you sound as scary as red. The red wipper snipper sounds more scary. Green's good. See, you kind of imagine he, you know, He does it in a friendly way. Oh wait, are these people all killing? Are they all killing machines?

That's for them to decide. Okay, fantastic. In a way, aren't we all killing machines? In so many ways. You know what I mean? Thank you so much, Sean, you green whippers-snipper. And I'd also love to thank without a location or a surname, I'd love to thank supporter of over a year, Annie.

Annie Annie No much to go off here What are you thinking I'll give you a colour Just and you go off for something like this In the UK somewhere Okay

Oh okay What about the The Move Whale Oh that's pretty good The Move Whale That's awesome That could be a cute picture book

Yeah The Moewell It's like the little whale Who's moven It's like Oh I'm different It's like the rainbow fish. What's the rainbow

fish thing? Yeah, and then it ends up becoming a strength and it shares its little scales that are rainbow with the others. Yeah. It's like that. I'm different. But then that's what makes you special. That's right. The Move whale. Your little Move whale. That's cute. Matt, that's cute. That's cute. Move was my

Nana's favorite color. There you go. That is a real Nana color. I don't know my grandma's favorite color. I'll ask her next time. Well, I was lucky I got him because she has passed on. So get in while you still can. Ask that question while you can.

Because that information, you know, that goes with them. Probably hasn't put that down anyway. Yeah. Actually, that's a good note too. While you are alive, write down somewhere what your favourite colour is. Favorite colours. For the next generation. I was like to say, on the record here, mine is blue.

Mine's green. Yes. I'll also take blue. Yes. Thank you. And I think that's us, isn't it? You too, always teaming up. Yep.

Against you. A bit different, but so similar. Mix with you and then another primary colour. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Perfect. That's us. That's us to a team.

But then what's interesting, Matt, is that you and Dave have blue eyes and I have green eyes. What? Yeah. So it's like you and I should swap, but it just works this way. I'm tripping out right now. I know.

Am I a wanker for liking blue then? Yeah. Yeah. Because essentially you're just saying, I love my own eyes. Well, I do. They're beautiful. I was at a market recently, there was a store there where they exclusively take a photo of your eyes and then print it out. Oh, okay.

For what? Do you could just have a... Like as artwork. So you could just have artwork in your house of your own eye. Yeah. Okay. I kept walking. We are running out of business ideas, aren't we?

They were not clutch. I think people do a lot of like, you know, pet portraits and maybe it's the new, you know, how Like people had those bumper stickers of their families, like the little stick figures. Maybe the new thing is like the eyeball of everybody in the family. Yeah, I reckon. Oh, everyone's eyeball in the family. Yeah. Yeah, the new thing.

Up on the top of the mantle. Wow. Beautiful. So lovely. Beautiful. Love that. Actually, Dave, I'm going to need the details of that market. A real feature piece.

And finally for me, I'd love to thank from Pascovale, just down the road. in Melbourne, Zoe Clippingdale. Oh, that's a fantastic name, Zoe. Yeah, Glowy. Fluro yellow. Yes. Because I accidentally said glowie. That felt right.

Fluro yellow. Gold. Gold. Yeah, gold. Gold finch. Oh, gold finch, which is a kind of bird. Yep. That's right.

And also that's a book. The golden finch? Yes. But I'm not ripping any of them up. Okay, sure. No, it's the gold. Not golden as the gold finch. Goldfinch.

They said the golden finch. This is goldfinch. This is Goldfinch. Dave. So get your head out of your butt. Sorry, everyone. Thank you, Zoe. And fantastic name, if I may say so.

Zoe, Clippendale, it's a fantastic name. May I? Is this the gold pinch? Sorry, it's not even golden pinch. You said the title. I said the wrong title. Sorry, Zoe. Can I thank some people as well?

That would be so good. Thank you so much. I would love to thank from Coleroy in New South Wales. James Cox. The purple panda Purple panda Your favourite animal, the panda Oh, I love them

There was one this week went viral It snowed in Washington DC Where they got some of the National Zoo And they absolutely loved it And there was just vision Like from the security cameras The Pandas of this one Just sliding down a hill on its back

And then it crawled to the top And just did it again It was so funny That's the kind of news I need in my day Oh it's so beautiful really That's the best So thank you, James. James, the purple panda cox.

I would also love to thank from Smithtown, New York, Peter J. Evans. Pete Evans, that's not the name of yours. I know, that's why I put the J in there. Yeah, you got to. Though I doubt that from Smithtown, New York, they've got no idea that we have a controversial chef in Australia called Pete Evans, who spouts quite a lot of bullshit. Yes. I didn't realize we had a couple of scientists in the studio today.

Yeah. You're debunking that chef's science? Okay, here we go. Heard it all now. But Peter J. Evans. Uh, the beige bandicoot. Oh, yeah, you saved with bandicoot because beige, obviously, a very beige color. Beige bandicoot.

beige bandicoot's great. That's cute. Yeah, it's cute. Bandycute. Bage bandicoot. Copyright that. Should we get T-T shirt? That's bandit cute as fuck.

Oh yeah. That's good. You could be that. You could be that person who says stuff like that. Who says the beige band. I mean, I wouldn't. I don't think they would be.

But you could be that person. Yeah, for sure. I'd be happy if you said that. The beige bandicoot is bandit as fuck. Thank you, Peter. And I would finally love to thank from Silver Spring, MD. Maryland. I mean, that's already a color and a thing.

Spring. I'd love to thank Will Hancock. The Silver Spring. The Silver Spring. No, that's already where he lives. He's at every day. We need something different. The gold. We've already done gold. Bronze Fountain. The bronze fountain.

Nah. I was thinking more like a spring. Oh, slinky. The bronze slinky. The bronze slinky. The bronze springy. I like that. Bronze springy. Put it in. Oh, snorily. Pretty good.

Sorry about that. Did you enjoy that? Dave, do you want to bring his time? I would love to. Thanks, Will Hancock. The bronze springy. Bronze Sprincky. A lot of thank from Hawthorne, South Australia, Kate Conroy.

Kate Conroy. Okay, what about the... The chocolate? Oh. The chocolate? Uh, train carriage. Oh, that's cool. The chocolate train carriage.

Chocolate train carriage. It's sort of satisfying to say, chocolate train carriage. Yeah, I like it. I imagine Poirot for some reason, riding the chocolate train carriage. Pireau and the chocolate train carriage. The mystery of the chocolate train carriage. I thank you so much for you support. Kate Conroy, the chocolate train carriage.

I would like to thank now from Highland Heights, Ohio. Oh, Ohio. Drew Forsberg. Drew Forsberg. On your Drew? What I'm what I'm going to do. God damn. Drew Forsberg.

The white. Lizard. The white lizard. Yes. Yeah. Love it. That's my lizard sound. Wow.

That's a pretty good lizard impression. Because they need to soak up the sun, right? And the white would help do that? Or does that reflect it? Reflex it. Reflex it, which means he has to work harder. Yeah. Smarter.

But has all his friends hang around. Yeah, there's a bunch of white lizards. They're having a really nice time. And they're just all reflecting off each other. It's essentially just a big pool party all year round for them. It's a good life, being a white lizard. Love it. I'd like to think now from Adelaide, South Australia.

A final person to thank is Grace Brooks. Grace Brooks. Orange. Pinyada. Orange piniazza. Orange is a good colour. Yeah, a pinata, fun thing. Yes, everyone loves a pinata.

Yes. You get to smash it, you have to eat lollies. There was a pinata at the... Neither of you attended, which obviously heard everyone's feelings, at the stupid old Christmas party. There was a pinata. And Beck portrayed us absolutely... I think it was Beck, absolutely smashed the shit out of it.

A few people did, and it was pretty brutal. It was confronting. One of the things were you laughing and then everyone stops. It's watching Beck, like, attack a little. off the rope. She's just using a fist to punch the shit. No, just one hit. She just hit it in the sweetest spot and it exploded.

Amazing. Oh, so good. Yeah. Good times. Merry Christmas, everyone. It's nice to think back to that beautiful year 2020. I miss it. Thanks, Grace Brooks.

Orange Pignata. Yeah, well, that doesn't quite bring us to the end of the episode. I was meaning to mention on this episode, I, um, I, uh, during the the week I was doing a gig and beforehand, someone came up to me and said, hey, are you Matt Stewart? And I said, yeah, and they're like, I'm a do go on her. But my head was like, out of the game. I was, I was also with two, like, well-known comedians. Oh, right.

So I thought she was going to say, hey, I'm sorry, are you? And said one. Yeah. So I'm like, I was a bit confused. And then we had a brief conversation. I have a real bad feeling I was rude. Anyway, if you're all listening, I'm sorry. And I hope you had a great night.

That's nice. I'm sure you weren't rude. Because I've met you before. Did you tell them to piss off idiot? Yeah. I did say piss off idiot. You're like, my hero did that to me. I'm sorry.

You know, you just, you become what you see. And I saw Steve or tell me to piss off idiot. And you assume that you are her hero. She also asked for your sonny's. That'd be very funny. No, at the time, his twin brother was my cricketing hero. So I assume my brother was a hero. Yeah, that works.

She's a big fan of the plumbing work of Tom. Sorry, are you Tom Stewart's brother? Pits off. Oh, that happened to me once. Back when I was selling air conditioning, I was on a site that I was working on a big job on. And this guy apparently went up to my brother who was doing the plumbing there, and neither of us knew he said,

your brother doesn't happen to sell air conditioning, does he? Just on how we were. He's like, I would never take that gamble to go. You always sound like an idiot when you go, hey, you kind of look like this person I know, any chance? Like, I never would bother asking that. But anyway, very fun sidetrack there. So this is the part of the show. Just before we close out, we welcome some people into the Triptitch Club, very exclusive club.

And you get involved in this if you have. supported us on the shout-out level or above for three years completing the triptage. And there's a whole club you're invited into, I'm on the dog at the Velvet Rope. We've got the list. I'm going to read out some names. As you come in, Dave will then hype you up. Jess then hipes up Dave because he needs it. Thank you.

But Jess has also put together a little menu. There's some hors d'oeuvres and some cocktails. Dave's booked a band. What are we got? What's on the menu? Well, it's a bit of a double whammy. Obviously, where possible, we like to theme it to this week's topic. And this week, everything we have to eat a drink is red and will make you barren.

Okay. Oh, my God. So, yeah, I guess depending on where you're at. Yeah, in your life. Maybe do or don't drink. Yeah, I mean, we've still got everything from previous weeks and just a normal sort of bar. You can have other stuff. It's a pretty hectic menu, actually.

It's honestly too much, you know? We should start rotating something. things off. Yeah. Like that time you said water? Was that me or was that Jackson? Oh, I could have been Jackson. We probably should keep water as an option.

Yeah, keep water. Anyway, this week, we've got Bloody Mary's and vodka cranberry juice. Yep. All of these will make you barren. Well, I'm lacing them with stuff that makes you barren, yes. A bloody Mary is not going to do. Because of the red baron. What else am I supposed to do with baron?

Well, I mean, you could just have the red drinks. Called them red barons. You don't have to actually make people barren. Oh, no. Yeah, you're right. Is it too late? Have you already mixed them up? No, but I have bought a lot of drugs.

So it would feel wasteful. Yeah, right. Okay. I've done it on the company card, though. So if you're okay with me just flushing all of our money down the toilet. Yeah, I think so. I think in this case, yes. To not make all of our patrons baron.

Yeah. Well, just in case someone accidentally has one and they are looking to have kids. Okay. Um, anyway, any food? Yeah, we got margarita pizza, lots of tomato-based things. Yum. Soup. And Dave, what band have you booked?

You want to go to a bar and have some soup? Yeah, I mean, you don't have enough tea. It's perfect. Shut up, you're the one with a fuck desophagus. You have some soup, soup, boy. I love soup, so, thank you. Thank you so much. The band this week is Eurythmix.

Oh. Who I've just read here, do you know this, if this is correct, Eurythmics were formed in Wogga Wogga Australia. That is, that cannot be true. That's not true. Dave Stewart and Annie Lennonix. It says Stuart and Lennox were both previously in the tourists, a band which broke up in 1980.

Eurythmics were formed later that year in Wogga Wogger Australia. No kidding. Can't tell you that's true or not, but still, is that a fun fact? Is that from the orge? That's from the orge. Yeah. When I used to fact check for a TV quiz show, we weren't allowed to use Wikipedia as a reference.

But they said it's a really good starting point because they have to use references on there. So then you go back to their references. I've got it here in Sydney Morning Herald saying it's true. Yeah, I'd trust them, probably. All right, so let's bring some people in. Firstly, let's do this. I'd love to welcome in from Bristol in Great Britain. It's Mr Thomas Keywood.

Oh, the keyword to this night going off is here. I don't know where he was going to go with that one. Thank you. Only three tonight. So the second of three from Lindenhurst in New York, United States, Anthony Torres. Torres to me straight. Is this going to be a great night? Yes, it is.

Torres like, tell. Shut up and just say the third name. Shut the fuck up. Honestly, it's all about momentum. And finally, from Athens. In God's Country, Ohio, it's Graham Koch or Cock. Which one are we going with? Cosh.

Cosh. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. Thank you. Oh, my cock! Thank you so much for coming down. I can't believe it, Graham. Pleasure.

Put my hand out. It's a proper shake. You're probably not allowed to do anymore, but still, anything happens in this club. So welcome in Graham, Anthony and Thomas. Make yourselves at home. Grab yourself one of the cocktails, which will not... Make you barren. Yeah. Because Matt's been a bit precious about it, to be honest.

Just be safe and have one of the other... I don't know if I fully trust, yes. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode. Is there anything else we need to say before we go? We are doing some shows in Melbourne at the end of March and throughout April. tickets have been on sale by this time this comes out a week now. Hopefully there's still some tickets left if you're interested. Check us out by clicking the link in the description of this episode.

It is March 28, April 4, April 11, April 18. Sundays 8.30pm, the European beer cafe. We can't wait to get back in front of a live crowd. Yeah, but we're recording this ahead of time, and all shows are over half sold already. So there's only 13 tickets to the first show left at this stage. Yeah, so get involved if you came. And yeah, you can find us on, where can you find us again, Jess?

You can find us at pissoffidiot.com. Oh, we've got to buy that now. Yeah, sorry. No, you can find us at Do Go On Pod on all the socials, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and do go on pod at gmail.com and do go onpod.com. And you'll be pleased to know that pissoffidiot.com is not currently taken. All right, let's do it. Steve Ward.

I mean, it's his catchphrase. He really missed a trick there. He could be selling sunglasses on this website. So thank you so much for listening, guys. We'll be out next week with another episode. But until then, I'll say thank you. And goodbye. Later.

Bye. This off idiot. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later,

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