Do Go On - 286 - Elizabeth Holmes and the Edison Machine (with Naomi Higgins)

Episode Date: April 14, 2021

Forbes named Elizabeth Holmes the youngest and wealthiest self-made female billionaire in America in 2015, but all was not as it seemed. Join us as special guest Naomi Higgins takes us through this wild story!Check out Naomi's show Why Are You Like This on Netflix now! (or on ABC if you're in Australia)See Matt Stewart at the Comedy Festival: (discount code 'dogoon): https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2021/shows/nostalgia-was-better-when-i-was-a-boy Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Buy tickets to our streamed shows (there are 12 available to watch now! All with exclusive extra sections): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoon Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnikey and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins.

Hey, it's so good to be back. Thanks so much for having me once again in the podcast. And for having me once again in this podcast. Well, we also have a guest this week and she's one of the best. Could you please welcome Naomi Higgins? I'm back. It did sound like I was wanting an applause break. Yeah, you said please welcome back.

Naomi, how are you? What's up? Guys, I'm good. I'm happy to be here. You know, very good memories on this podcast. What are they? I believe I was voted 2018's best guest. Yep.

Out of two. So. And so far, you are. That's true. I think there was hot competition that year. No, I think it was out of two. There were two Nick Mason. I was up against two Nick Mason reports.

I think maybe Dusha was on there that year. Yeah. Talking about Ryan Gosling. And maybe Andy Matthews was talking about some science girls. Boring. Isaac Newton. But I've got to tell you, you let me hang in there.

Naomi, you are absolutely in the running for 2021's best guess so far. Am I the only guest? No, you're the second so far. I forgot about that. I thought the joke was that you were the only one, but you're right. We have had guests reports.

Well, hopefully out of two, I'd still be in the running. Well, we'll see. Well, let's see what you got. Dave, how did this show work again? Usually we take it in terms of report on a topic, often suggested by a listener. The person reporting goes away. Does a bit of research, brings it back to the group. The other people don't know what they're going to report on.

And Naomi, you have done us a massive favour and gone away and done the research this week. I have. I have. I have wanted to talk more. Yeah, great. We love that. Jess might know the topic, but Matt and I have no idea what it is. Just knew it and forgot it.

Okay. So, I'm wondering if any of you will know who this person is. Jess obviously not. Well, yeah. If it was so forgettable, probably not. Matt, I assume, well not. Okay. That's a clue.

All right. It's a nerd thing. Yeah, it's for smart people. Oh, is it Isaac Newton again? Yes. Because there's a chance that Jess forgot that Andy did that and said, yeah, that's fine. Go for it. I just, like I said, it was boring.

And Isaac Newton is a hot, hot guy. Okay. As I understand, you start off with a question. Yes. Yes, please. Okay. You should have explained that day at the start, ideally. Well, I thought Naomi could handle it, and she did. Thank you.

I did know that. I've done this podcast before, Matt. Oh, thank you. Twice. You're also in my television show. Yes, that's right. Would you watch today? Yeah, great show.

Great show. People should watch it. Is it available now? Yes. It is here in Australia. No, but well, we can talk about the end. No, go for it now because when people don't listen to the end. Then you've missed the whole reason that you begs us to have you on the show. I said, please again, was because my TV show is coming out internationally on Netflix

and based on the time that this is released, it's out now. That's exciting. So everywhere except Australia. And if you're in Australia, you can watch it on ABC Eye View. And the show is, why are you like this? Yes, I keep forgetting to say it. And Matt is in it. Yep.

And Jess is in it. Yep. And Dave. Yeah, my scene was cut somehow. Yeah. It wasn't what, four or five weeks of filming we did, and I didn't make the final. Dave, it was, sorry, Naomi, I'll field this one. Dave, you were actually too good.

Thank you. I was playing a hunk, I remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and they were like, this guy's too hot for the character. Yeah, and he made my... And he was playing a hunk. He made my acting... I was unbelievable because I was too hot. Yeah, yeah.

So they actually got rid of you, Dave, and they did recast a Hemsworth. Yeah. To downgrade? Yeah, absolutely right, yeah. Which Hemsworth? How far did they downgrade? Larry. Oh.

Larry Hemsworth. The dog. Oh, no. It's a hunky dog. Yeah, it's a pretty hot dog. Great. So, season two, like, surely the hunk will be, get the call up. Larry.

Yeah, we'd love to have him back. He was great. Really good morale for the set. Yeah, people love that dog. I cannot say for you, Jen. You really brought everyone down. Sorry, that it was a bit of a prima donna on set. Potato salad.

Noam's do you think in season two your character might run into the same woman in a cafe again? What do you reckon? I mean, what are the chances? Anything is possible? Yeah. Is that woman friends with a hunk? Maybe I have a boyfriend now.

Oh, come on. And a brother who's a farmer. It's a hunk. It's your platonic friend. The hunk. So are you saying me or my character is not good enough for a hunk? The character. Uh-huh.

The character. Uh-huh. Very interesting. Maybe the dog you have could meet Larry. Yes. The hunks, hunky dog. No, Larry is my boyfriend in the show. Dave, you even watched the show?

He hasn't even watched the show. Yes, but I just recast Larry Hemsworth as a dog. Seems weird. Yeah, anyway. So hopefully we'll get the call-up for season two. But until then, so people can understand the context for the hunk in season two. They should watch season one. Netflix worldwide right now.

Yes. How exciting. Very exciting. I'm scared. I can't believe I know someone on Netflix. You are on Netflix. That's very cool. Did you forget? I actually forgot that I was already on Netflix on a different ABC show. So that's pretty cool.

Are you actually? Yeah. Oh, that's so funny. Which one? Investigators. I play a grocer. Anyway. That's funny. I heard gross. Yeah. Yep.

Anyway, we start with a question. We start with a question. What is it grosser? Wow, somebody who sells fruit, veg. Green grocer, gotcha. Yeah, I'm a green grocer. In 2014. Oh, okay, recent.

Who was named? Larry. Mullins. Junior. Yes. We got it. Yes, he did. You idiots, you're so stupid.

Who was named the youngest female self-made billionaire. Oh, 2014. In 2014. We've already done Rihanna. I don't think she's a billionaire. Is she not? What the fuck is going on with capitalism?

Very few people are billionaires and they're not celebrities. Kyle and Jenna? Is it Kendall and or Kylie? No. But is Kylie a... We're talking 2014. And there's something that only Dave would know. Oh, is this someone who launched a certain scientific

program? Program? Like a startup business? Yes. I knew he'd know it. Yeah, because he's a big old nerd. Yeah, but I don't want to say too much.

Elizabeth Holmes. Elizabeth Holmes. So she beat the Jenna. Yeah, she was the first... Yeah, because 2014, that's... Oh no, she was the youngest, sorry, did I say first? Youngest, self-made, female billionaire in 2014.

Awesome. Okay. Youngest ever. Elizabeth Holmes. Queen. What is her look? What should I be remembering? Blonde hair.

Black skivy. Okay. Very piercing blue eyes. Steve Jobs' daughter. Well, people did call her the female Steve Jobs. That was the label she's gotten, huh? Because of the skivis? That is a catchy nickname.

Or they also called her the fifth or sixth wiggle. I couldn't remember how many there are. Sorry. a full-time wiggle? No, not anymore. But you get one, it's one in one out. Yeah, that's right. The number of wiggles doesn't fluctuate.

Yeah, you know? Unless you're counting Dorothy, Captain Feather Sword. No one's carrying them. Exactly, that's what I'm saying. You'd be an idiot if you were counting there. There's the other one there's also a dog. Larry. I think that, yes, there's sort of.

God, he's hot. That dog is in everything. That one's for the parents. I just want to avoid getting tweets Larry Hemsworth is a joke from the good place played by Ben Lawson who has a real complex about being the forgotten Hemsworth and in a newspaper article one time

they actually called Ben Larry Hemsworth so that's pretty funny but I'm just wanting to avoid tweets saying... Is Ben the third brother? No, he's Ben the best. Lawson. He's not a Hemsworth. He's just playing this fictional character, Larry Hemsworth, as a joke. And I just wanted to avoid getting tweets. People are like, it's actually a joke from the group. I know. That's why it came to my mind. Oh, right, right, right. So it's not a dog. And because I was deep in stalking Ben Lawson the other day on Instagram.

Do you know him? Not personally. No. Why would I stalk someone I know personally? I think I go onto your Instagram and go deep? No, I'm just like, there's my beautiful friend Naomi. I kiss my phone for a bit. Obviously. Yeah, that's less weird than going deep. Please tell us more about... I'm excited to hear. I really am excited.

I know about this one? Yeah. She's an exciting person. Okay, Elizabeth Holmes was born February 3, 1984 in Washington, D.C. Her father, Christian Rasmus Holmes, the fourth, was, among other things, vice president at Enron once upon a time. This does sound like a real self-made billionaire coming up here. Someone who started with nothing at all.

Yeah. And then just through sheer hard work and no privileges laid out before them. Yeah. And also her mother worked as a congressional committee staffer. Okay. So she doesn't have any connections or networks to pull up on in her climb up that ladder. Yes. This is amazing.

Real self-starter. At the age of nine homes wrote a letter to her father that said, What I really want out of life is to discover something new, something that mankind didn't know was possible to do. Wrote that at nine. Big dream. Little girl, big dreams. He wasn't returning at calls.

Why would write your dad a letter? Just push it under his executive door. Go into the rumpus room where he's in his recliner, watching neighbours, and you say, oh, he's dad, and he says, yeah, what? And you say, you know what I want in life? He says, what's that, Dal? Like every man in Washington, D.C.

And, D.L., you know what I want? Another beer for the fridge. Can you go and get one for me? Be it good girl. Did you know that Washington, D.C., you probably did. Oh, my God. Here we go. He's on the complete opposite side.

I found this out like three months ago. Oh, did you say it on the podcast? That's crazy. It makes no sense. What the F? What the F in D. Two Washington's? Because I was like, the only reason I don't,

because Forks, Washington is where Twilight is set. That's right. The wettest place in America. Yeah, yeah. And that's like, you know, on the west. And I was like, hang on a second. Isn't Washington, D.C. In Washington?

But it's not in the state of Washington. It's only the wettest place in America because of Robert Patterson. Imagine we were all thinking that joke. I waited for a silence and then I said it. Well, that's great. You waited for a silence. Good on you. Look at you go.

That's what I normally do. That's why it seems like I'm really slow. But I'm actually just being very polite and patient. I remember five minutes ago when you said this? Well, I was thinking. I went to a comedy gig last night and there was this woman in the back who was like drunk and she kept like sort of going to not that she was trying to heckle them but that she

just thought that they were, she was having a conversation and then at one point a comedian was talking about taking acid and she just goes and put her hand up and then at the end of his set he walks up and she leans forward and she goes, I wanted to tell him about the time I took acid and I was like that's not how it works incredible but you know I was like she's not being rude being quite polite she's just so drunk

But was the time she took acid like seven minutes before that moment? I think it very well could have been. I'm on acid right now. I wanted to tell that turtle about the time I was on acid. Holmes attended St. John's School in Houston, one of the top private schools in the US. During high school, she was interested in computer programming and started her first business selling C++ compilers to Chinese universities. She also began attending Stanford University's summer Mandarin program. and in 2002, Holmes attended Stanford

where she studied chemical engineering and worked as a student researcher and laboratory assistant in the school of engineering. But she's already had a business going as well. Yes. Wow. After the end of her freshman year, Holmes worked in a laboratory

at the Genome Institute of Singapore and tested for SARS through the collection of blood samples with syringes. Remember SARS? Yeah. What a quiet little pandemic that was. Cute. Cute one.

Anyway, she was working, like, sampling blood and stuff like that, testing, testing shit out. Sampling it with, like, a straw or... Yeah, with like a nice wine pair. Oh, positive. Ooh. Oh, negative. A little bowl of coffee beans. They got to reset the palette.

He's got a spittoon. Love that word. Elizabeth filed her first patent in 2003. She went to a professor of medicine at Stanford, Phyllis Gardner, to explain the idea. A tiny patch that would sample blood, detect an infection, and then deliver antibiotics to it, all in a tiny little patch. Wow. A centimeter by a centimeter. The professor told her this was physically impossible.

Oh, I love this. How good that? That's not actually possible. Nice try, though. Okay. It's like, walking into a professor's obviously and be like, all right, how about a computer that's like the size of an iPhone, but like it has every single movie in the world on it? and every note, like, it's like got a billion gigabytes. Let's do that.

Copy right me. You can't do that. Get me a patent. You can't do that yet. I mean, it's like, sure, have the patent. Feel free. That's mine. That's mine.

How about something that you inject and it cures all diseases? One of mine. That's mine. If someone else comes up with that, remember I told you today. What about a tablet you can take that makes a dick really big? Like, really big. That one exists, I think. but like permanently.

Like comically big. Like honestly, way too big. Get him laughing or your money back. What a tag. Elizabeth did not really want to listen to this. So the professor introduced her to someone else. Just pumped her off. Yes.

Channing Robertson, who left his tenure position at the head of the science department at Stanford. to work with Elizabeth. Wow. That's got to be a great pitch. Right. To leave your job for it. She is a very engaging person, it seems.

Right? Like cult leaders. Very charismatic. Very charismatic. And she killed so many people. It's crazy. Spoilers. In March 2004, she dropped out of Stanford

and used her tuition money as seed funding for a consumer healthcare technology company. She's like early 20s. Is she? What is this? She, I think 19 at this point. Far out. And so she's using the money that like her family were going to spend on college.

Yeah, she's 20. To found this sort of startup-y thing. Yeah. Seed money. Wow. Yeah. And one of the stories that she would tell is that when she was a child, her uncle was diagnosed with skin cancer,

which then turned into brain cancer, and then turn in his bones. She never got to say goodbye. She repeats this story a lot. She's talking about her medical company. She also grew up with a fear of needles. So this was the idea of her company. Okay.

Was to eliminate the tubes of blood that you need to draw for blood tests and replace them with a nanotainer, which is a tiny container, and you just need to do a finger prick and get like one drop of blood and then test for hundreds of diseases. Just from one drop of blood. A little drop. So save people, you know, the constant like vials of blood that they would have to draw

and, you know, the trauma of repeated needles and stuff like that. And that exists. Yeah. Holy shit. That's cool. Yeah. So the company is called Theranos, right? Elizabeth convinced private investors to invest hundreds of millions of dollars without even looking at a financial statement.

These included former head of software at Apple and Tim Draper, who was the first investor in Skype, Tesla and Hotmail. Whoa. At this time, she's 21 years old. Far out. Very convincing person. To be clear, she, her Tim Draper's son is her friend. Okay. She's very well connected, this woman.

And yeah, people talked about how captivating she was and that when she would be, you know, sort of relaxed when talking about other things, but when she's talking about her company, she would become very purposeful, very serious, and people would often remark that she didn't blink. Oh, okay. I feel like it's a bit unnerving. But it's also a sign of weakness.

Blinking. Yeah. I feel like I should bring up a picture of her now. And also, who's going to go first? But now we've both purposely widened our eyes, therefore letting more air in that we're here. Yeah, that was painful. That was stupid.

This is why we don't have companies. That's right. You're both weak. I haven't blinked this whole recording. I'm having my eyelids removed. Hell yeah, boss. How are you sleep? I'll never sleep.

Okay. I'd be too busy making deals. So this is Elizabeth Holmes. Wow. Blonde, blue eyes, very wide eyes. Wide unblinking eyes. Very cool. I feel very comfortable.

People also remark that she spoke with a very deep voice. Okay. Which almost seemed put on. Like it wasn't her real voice. Like she'd walk in there with a normal voice and then be like, oh. Is the meeting starting? Hello.

Like many women have deep voices, but this seems like it's not naturally her voice, right? So the machine that she's creating is called the Edison, named after Thomas Edison, who once said, as Elizabeth was obsessed with, I have not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that don't work. She said, that's what we just need to do. We need to do the 10,000 ways that don't work, and then the 10,000 first, and then we'll have the Edison. What if they get it right at 8,000?

And she's like, sorry, we have to keep going. I mean, this is a great quote. I said 10,000 first would be it. Or she just believes it's going to be the 10,000 of first no matter what. So the first 10,000 she tries just real silly things. It's like, it doesn't matter what we try. I'm going to put this crayon behind my ear. No, it didn't work.

I've got silly string. I'm going to squirt it all over here. Did that work? No. Here we go again. I'm going to eat a chippy. Did I do anything? No.

Three down, we're making real progress today. I'm going to stand on four hot wheels. Oh, I've fallen over. Write it down. Should we be scientists? Yes, we should. And the 10,000 first one, she's like, all right, get the machine. Prick up.

Prick up. Get that nano packet. Yep, the one we've already invented. Anyway, she always. also, yes, she wore the same thing every day, much like Steve Jobs, probably inspired by Steve Jobs. She wore black slacks, a black total neck, black blazer, and occasionally on dressed down days a nice little black puffer vest. Ooh.

Yeah. And she claims to have worn black turtle neck since the age of seven. Fuck. I like the way you say claim. It adds a little bit of doubt there. You don't buy it. Well, because someone else told this story that, like, they were talking about Steve Jobs to her and said something about this company where he would buy his turtlenecks.

And then she was like, what was the name of that company? And then... This is her at seven. Yeah, at seven. And then the next time they saw her, she was in that brand turtle neck. Which I've done for the last 15 years. I was just checking in to see if you knew, because I already knew. Imagine though if your seven-year-old came out to you and said,

Mother, Father, I have something I wish to tell you. And like, you're a seven-year-old that's only wearing a very serious black turtleneck, I'd be a little worried. Yeah, I'm going to change the world. I'd be like, okay, why don't you going to play on the monkey bars? We've got you for Christmas. So dad's like, write it down. In his recliner. Why don't you walk the dog?

Hey, can I walk the dog. Play with the kids in the neighbourhood. Go to work Larry. When she was seven, she also drew a schematic of like a, quote, fully working time machine, unquote. Here's the door. Here's the time And then look, it goes backwards Yes, so

But also she grew up in a family That was very like I think her great-grandfather Was also like a huge entrepreneur And her great-great-grandfather Was like a really famous surgeon Right So they were very like destined

Yeah Kind of thing Anyway, she also spent all the time At the office And called her apartment Basically just a mattress And the only thing in her fridge At home was bottled water

Okay Did she eat? Did she eat? Did you eat, do you reckon? Not once. Wow. Not once. That's the secret.

We keep slowing ourselves down by eating. I do it, honestly, I do it multiple times a day. If I can be honest with you. That's where all your energy's going. Fuck. And if you blink, you're going to need to eat. And what about if you sleep? Eat.

Shit. I've been doing it all wrong. Yeah. And we've all been saying that as well. Do you hear Jess slept last night? Fucking idiot. Well, what happens, don't tell her, don't tell her, let her figure it out herself. She'll get there, but you haven't gone there.

Is that why you're doing this report? Yes, yes. Stop sleeping. Okay. Great. Tonight's the night. And that's been, do you go on. That's how you guys sign it off every week round.

Yeah, exactly. That's been do go on. Ferranos were very secretive about how they were going to achieve this revolution. to other medical companies and to the people they were hiring, which is not abnormal for startups who wanted to keep their trade secrets. We're doing this, but we can't tell you about it. I've seen bits of Silicon Valley. Which bits?

First season or so. Oh, the show? I thought you meant the area. Yeah, I've been on Google Maps. The industry. I've seen a TV show. So here's how it works. The Edison device required you to put a prick of blood into like a car tree.

basically, and then it clicks into a machine, which is maybe the size of like a small photo, I don't know what, maybe like a small photocopier. Yeah, okay. So you don't put it into an Nintendo. Not into a Nintendo, no. Okay. I hear cartridge, I think Nintendo. Yeah.

Or a printer. Yes. You can play Zelda on the Edison, though. That was very important. She said this needs to have. It has to have Zelda. Okay, so you put the cartridge. It's about the size of a photocopier.

I don't imagine you. Blood testing requires mixing of different agents, centrifuges. Basically, there's a lot of moving parts when you're testing blood for things. So the challenge was to get them into a small machine that was way smaller than like other big machines that were available that are fucking huge, like as big as a room or, you know, maybe not as big as a room. So she designed a fully working shrink ray. Yes. There's an arrow saying this is the bit that shrinks it and this is the bit that's the ray. So it had to run smaller than those tests

and also had to replace, you know, tests that are done by like lab technicians who would do it manually, that kind of thing. Right. So big challenge. She shrank down some lab technicians, put him in the box. Honey, I shrank the text. They were not on board. They really are.

Theranos's board members included a former US Secretary of Defense, former US Secretary of State, former US senators, and a former Senate majority leader, one of them being Henry Kissinger, who described Elizabeth as having an ethereal quality. Wow. She's attracting a lot of very important men. Wow, he also once dropped his glasses in the toilets on the Simpsons.

That is his claim to fame, Henry Kissinger. I honestly don't know anything about him, but everything I've read up, it always starts with like, no matter what you think of Henry Kissinger, Oh, okay, that means he's evil? He's controversial, maybe. I know the name of the role. No matter if you think they're so amazing.

That's never what it means. What was his role? Why is he known? I don't know. That's why I said. I didn't know. Henry Kissinger. It's like, but it's a big name.

That's why I name dropped. I've named dropped. Some sort of nuclear deal? Okay. He made a nuclear deal? No, he is a nuclear deal. He's a big nuclear deal. He's a big nuclear deal.

He's big and nuclear. He's got that nuclear buzz. Oh, yeah. Are you Googling Henry Kissinger? No. Yes. He was the United States Secretary of State and National Security Advisor under Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford. That.

Oh, right. Richard Nixon, not known for... He's still alive, age 97. Wow. Go off, King. Did he come up in the Nixon episode, maybe? Possible. You also controversially won a Nobel Prize, I believe.

For peace. No matter what you think of him. Yeah. You run a Nobel Prize. Theranos's director would be former US Secretary of State George Schultz. Elizabeth and George Schultz became very close, almost like family, and she would go to their family functions and stuff, which led to his grandson asking to intern at the company

because he was a lab scientist. Oh, wow. Fun. Family affair. When the new Yorker asked Elizabeth how the Edison works, she said this. A chemistry is performed so that a chemical reaction occurs and generates a signal from the chemical interaction with the sample, which is translated into a result, which is then reviewed by a certified laboratory personnel. Yeah, I've interviewed people like her and you're like, uh-huh.

Foggin, you know? Blood from a stone. Give me something. The interviewer called this answer, comically vague. Yeah. A chemistry is performed. A chemical reaction.

A signal. An interaction. A result. A review. Duh. Obviously. And it's revolutionary. Ramesh Bolwani, who we're going to call Sunny from now on, because that's what

everyone calls this guy, right? Sunny. Sunny. Was president and COO of Theranos and in a relationship with Elizabeth. Okay. They met when she was 19. Okay. And he is 19 years older than her.

Okay. Fun. Double. And he was also married. Fun. Yes. Sunny was quoted as saying Elizabeth is the most important inventor of our times.

Oh. Whoa. And they were always together. They were living together. They were arriving around the same time, leaving around the same time, always talking at work. But nobody knew they were in a relationship.

They kept it completely under wraps. But was it actually under wraps? Or was it like when two? co-workers are definitely dating and you're like, all right, man, just say it. Just say you're dating. No, it was, wow. People would find out and they'd be like, what the fuck? Because they were incredibly serious. Again, she doesn't blink. Yeah, she sounds like a very serious person. Have you ever tried to flirt without blinking? Oh, all of my flirting is in blinking. I've got nothing else to offer. Stop blinking at me.

I won't. Actually, you marry me. You can't flirt without winking in my experience. No, I no doubt. Dave, I've watched you try to flirt. Hey, how are you? Wink. Yeah. And you do such a nice, subtle, natural wink that doesn't look really forced or uncomfortable at all. I like that the eyebrows go up before the wink comes down. Did you say wink for the listeners benefit or is that how you do it?

No, wink. Just being completely natural wink. Those eyebrows, they get a run up. Yeah, they really do. week. Sorry about him, Naomi. We need the extra lid space

to get the wink across. Yeah. But when did people later find out about Sunny and Elizabeth? Eventually they did. Or they're finding out now.

Yeah. Well, they found out much later on. Right. Near the end of this story. So. The story's got an end. Ferenos.

Yeah. Everyone's dead. Like I said, Elizabeth killed them. They signed a contract with Walgreens promising that over 200 tests could be run in the Edison. They didn't have it figured out yet, but planned to have it figured out by the time they released to Walgreens.

Is that Marky Marks Burger Chain? Yes. Yeah, right. That was surprising. Burgers and blood tests. They've got involved. To one-stop shop. How many times you've been out, you're like,

I've got to get a blood test, I've got to get a burger? Yes. And you're like, oh, man, it's such a pain in my butt. I never want one without the other. I know, one-stop shop. Hey, give me a burger and test my blood. That's what I always say.

Not for anything specific. I'm just like, just test it. Just 200 of them. And that's how they get their veggie burgers to taste so realistic. It's like there's blood coming out of because it is. Human blood. That's clever. But unfortunately, because it's one finger prick at a time.

It takes a lot. It takes a lot. $10,000 a burger. Veggie burgers are way high. own price than the others. You know, that's the price of being vegan, though. Which is, like, over-promising is, you know, that's what Thomas Edison did. He said he had the light bulb figured out when he didn't have it figured out.

Yeah. And then he just, like, sort of was just like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And then I woke and he was like, thank God. Oh, God. I was a fraud until yesterday. Some people work well under pressure, you know? Yes, yes. And fake it till you make it is huge in Silicon Valley.

Yes. A bunch of phonies. if you ask me, or my best friend, Holden Corfield. Little reference to Catcher in the Rye. Loved it, loved it. I did not like it. I ran it in high school and I threw the book across the room several times. Did you go and retrieve it or do you get a new copy?

It was really expensive. Really expensive VC a year for me. I was going to explain that for international people, but I don't know what it stands for. Certificate of Education. There we go. We got there. Thank you for that. You're welcome.

Stop blinking. I won't. The machine had a lot of issues. Okay, so remember how big it is, not very big. And also they kept changing the look of the design that they'd send to Walgreens, but they wouldn't describe how it worked inside to Walgreens. Sounds like they're working a lot on the outside and not the inside. Yes.

Okay, good. Which is a problem that a lot of people have. Am I right? Yes. Get out of the gym. Get into therapy. Yes. Absolutely.

I think of therapy Get out of the gym He's too buff He's gone too far He's too buff and he's too rough Yeah My mind needs a little workout now You need to do a few reps of therapy

The machine Had a lot of issues at this point Yeah Inside Blood would just spill All over A small amount of blood and it's still going everywhere. Is this thing from the shining?

Like what? Why is their blood just... So they'd put the blood in. Uh-huh. And you'd have, you know, shit's spinning around, picking shit up fluids everywhere. Lots of fluids. Because that's how you test. Anyway, so just blood would spill into various parts, clog the machine.

And the device would freeze up, requiring lab techs to reach into the machine and risk being punctured by, you know, needles that were coming down, broken glass. And then the blood, obviously, from random volunteers, which are often poor people who just needed money. So there's blood flying around and you've just been pricked. Yes, and you don't know what's in the blood. Unsafe. This sounds like a level of sore.

Like Saw 3 had a puzzle like this, isn't it? Yeah. To escape. And it was his fault for not appreciating his life. That's worth murdering several people over. I've seen you in the office cracking the shits of the photocopier. Well, now this photocopier could end your life. Learn to appreciate the technology.

Who's jammed now, bitch? Yeah, so lab techs were at risk of getting any number of diseases that could be in the random people's blood. Pieces of the device would fall off and explode in the middle of testing. Explode. Explode sounds full on, doesn't it? Stop putting explosives in it. And blood that, again, could be from anywhere, would just, like, evaporate into the rooms that they were working in

because it would just be spilling everywhere. But it would be such a small amount of blood, right? Yeah, but they, like, dilute it with stuff so that they could test it on different stuff. Tyler Schultz, which is, again, George Schultz's grand son. Yep. Family friend. Yes.

Described being in the labs and being so disillusioned by what was happening, and then he'd go and have one conversation with Elizabeth and be really, really inspired and be like, oh my God, we're changing the world. And then go back to the lab and be like, what the fuck? What happened? Wow. Sounds like she's got like magical power. She can trance people back to believing something that's not real sort of thing.

Yeah. Or it's just her own belief is so strong that she convinces them. Does she believe it still have this strong belief at this point, do you know? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, you know, these visionaries often do that, you know, they'll, I feel like you guys should hear her, voice so that you understand how captivating cheers. But I want to see her not blinking while she talked. I wonder how deep it's going to be. Oh yeah. Hello. Oh, is that you playing it there, Naomi? Hello? Hello, how are you? She told me that?

It really called me up going to when Matt said it said. That wasn't me. That was Jess. That's why it really called me up God. I was like, wow, Pat sounded completely different. Hang on, am I just, am I doing a podcast with Just Matt or are there other people in the room? I think you're losing your mind. Hello, I was like, Matt, you sound so different. Okay, so here's a video, I don't know how good it is, but it's her speaking at Ted Med, which is, I guess, Ted X or whatever. Oh, wow, she does sound weird. Yeah.

Can you interpret that? She's saying she's going to, she loves medicine. Oh, God. Like when the applause doesn't cover them all. to the stage. I believe the individual Oh my God.

Is the answer to the challenges of healthcare. Sounds like she needs to swallow. But we can't engage the individual in changing outcomes. Unless individuals

have access to the information they need to do so. Oh my God. I was like, I'll play one sentence. It took 40 seconds. Wow. That's the voice. That doesn't sound put on to me, though.

I'm 100% charmed by them. I believe the answer. That's just that's... To science is an answer. That's classic, like, inspirational American talking thing, right? Yes. What do you mean? I just said yes, I am.

No. I don't know. It just sounds like one of the inspirational presidents or something, like Abraham Lincoln or something. Oh, they're pausing. you mean. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, there's also this theory that women are taken more seriously when they speak deeper. And there's also people who have said, like that professor who was like, your patch isn't going to work, said that in those days she spoke in a, like, a higher voice, more like classically feminine voice, I guess. And then the next time she, like one time she just

started talking to her and she was like, hello, and she was like, what the fuck? So she's fully, she is putting on the voice. Yeah, apparently there was also another time where she got drunk. at like a work party and she like accidentally fell out of it. Oh no, she started speaking with an Irish accent. What's my fuck? We've all been there, Olivia. We've all been there to be sure. Stop blinking.

Oh my God, she blinks and speaks an Irish accent. Who is this freak? Who is this blinking freak? When executives, who, you know, board members, whatever, would take. a tour to see the Edison, they would take a prick of blood from their finger, inserted into the cartridge, inserted into the machine, and then, you know, it would take like 45 minutes or whatever to do the test, so they'd, you know, usher the executive out, take them to lunch or, you know, to do more of the tour. Meanwhile, an engineer would run in, grab the cartridge,

run to a different room and get lab techs to manually run all the tests. And then they'd like rush to try and get them done in an hour because that's, you know, supposedly what they had. They said that they already could do this, but they were still working on it. Doesn't that also prove that there already is the technology to do it in an hour? If people are running. It does prove that people exist. They should have had the box right next to a wall with the back of it open so the text could just pull out stuff and put it back in and then you wouldn't even have to run.

They did have a joke that inside the Edison is just a like a glove that you put your hand in to just grab the cartridge and take it to another room. So you understand laboratory humor, Matt, and that's coming through loud and clear. Well, thank you very much. So, like, Henry Kisen and you would come back from lunch, and they'd be like, all clear, buddy? Yeah, yeah, they'd run back in the room with the test results and be like, here are your results from the answer? And Henry Kizendezer just like, why is everyone panting? Don't worry about it, man.

He's your results. It's pretty good. You don't have a bowel cancer. That's good news. Thanks. But you do have several other cases. I'm really happy you start up with the good news. At that time, they only had around half of the test

able to work on such a small scale and not even in the Edison itself. They just miniaturize them. And the dimensions of the box were basically not big enough to fit all the tests in it. Of course. Because they basically decided the shape of the box before they'd actually figure out how it was going to work.

Oh, God. So really worrying about the big things first. Yeah. How does it look? We're going to need to look chic. When scientists suggested increasing the size of the box, they were told that maybe they weren't Silicon Valley material. Incredible.

And conversations like this resulted in people who said no to Theranos, moving on from the companies, are either quitting or getting fired. And then, you know, younger, more experienced, inexperienced people being hired because those, are the people who are more willing to say yes. So they'll often say, have you thought about, I don't know, a bigger box? You're fired.

No, sorry, Dem. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. Maybe also they're less experienced so they have more open minds to what could be possible as well? Well, it's like, you know, if you're less experienced, then I think you're less likely to stand up to, like a big boss. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, totally.

It's reminded me of, what was that movie about the plane guy? I think he did a report about him. Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, the aviator. The aviator, that guy, whatever that guy's real name is. Howard Hughes. Howard Hughes. In that movie anyway, he's like, I don't want to see any pop rivets on the outside of my plane.

And they'd come back and he's like, no, there's still, there's too many bumps on the outside. They're like, it's not possible to do a plane without these. He's like, well, I'll find someone who can. And then they end up just having the, I don't know if that's how it actually happened, but. In the movie. Are you just talking about the plot of a film? Yeah, but a plot of a real life film. I know it's real.

I've seen it. Yeah. But I think I imagine. Look, I took that on Face Valley, that's sort of how it happened. Yeah. But I think that is sometimes you just have to be a real asshole. And that's how people make things happen. Exactly.

It's a bit sad. Girl boss. Girl boss vibes. Yeah. Honestly. Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah. of girl boss. My favorite girl boss.

My queen. It's everyone's favorite Italian actor. George Schultz's grandson quit at this point. Not the intern. Well, he was past intern at this point. Not the unpaid man. Elizabeth, I'm so sorry, the intern has quit.

What? The business is ruined. I'm starting a new company. Get some other rich. on the phone. I don't know their names. He went to his grandfather to show him the data and he was like, this is not working. And his grandfather didn't want to hear it. He was like, I don't believe you.

You know, I don't think they're trying to convince me you're stupid. I don't think you're stupid, but I think you just need to move on with your life. You know, we're trying to change. We're trying to change the world. So grandpa didn't believe him. Yes. Very old man. That is pretty sad.

Now involved in Watergate, apparently. Oh, Matt. Apparently came out unscathed out of Watergate. I still don't know what Watergate is. Oh, well, listen to our episode on it from a couple months ago. I did it. I've forgotten. I'm struggling to remember his name.

What was he? This is Schultz. I'll see if I mention him. Please are gone. Now, there is one really sad part of this story. I can skip it. No. But I kind of feel like I can't if I skip it.

Okay. All right. Now, the C-bomb count has just gone up, Naomi. I'm so sorry. Two in a minute. I'm so sorry. I'm a rude to-dy. The kids are listening.

The kids want to find out about bloodgate. Bloodgate, that's what I call my time of the month. Is that good? Open the blood gate. That's better. That's good stuff. That's collaboration. Exactly right.

We had to work together there. I love you got there otherwise. Tell us the sad part. Okay. How sad, though? Pretty sad. Okay. Yeah.

Sorry. Everyone breaks for sale. I wasn't going to put it in. And then as I kept researching it, I was like, I feel like such a rudy-tooty. If I don't put this in. You've got to do it. One of the people that sort of went through the revolving door was Ian Gibbons. He was the original chief scientist at Theranos.

He was unhappy with their standards for their tests and argued that they should be to the same benchmark as their competitors' machines. This caused friction between him and the other, like, higher-ups. And he was gradually given less responsibility to the point where he no longer even went into work and his job was to basically look at resumes. This is the chief scientist. Wow.

Let's take some of those science responsibilities off. Okay, let's get him into some admin. He's being crazy. Let's get him into HR. I think that's why his skill sets would be better used. He's a bad bet.

He became very depressed and at one point was fired and then rehired into a lower position. He was named in a patent dispute brought against Theranos. and was subpoenaed to testify. Theranos were pressuring him to get out of it. So he basically had to decide if he was going to commit perjury and lie for Theranos or if he was going to risk getting fired from his job.

And he was really nervous and depressed and worried that he wouldn't get another job. And then like the night before he was supposed to be deposed, Theranos sent him a letter being like a doctor's note being like, you know, you should use this. and try and get out of it. And then the morning he was supposed to testify his wife found him unconscious on the bathroom floor, having harmed himself. And then as a result, a week later, he passed away.

Oh, no. That's horrible. Yeah, terrible. I'm not liking this company that much. No? Yeah, they seem bad. I mean, good returns. There's a good return on an investment, sure.

I don't really feel like at the seven-year-old wearing a serious skivie, I was like, I hate this. And that's why I'll never be a billionaire. No, no. I mean, you didn't know about her ethereal quality at that point, though. That's true. And that really turned me around. You haven't seen her unblinking eyes. So, really wide.

You said she killed, like. Well, yeah, I guess she did. Jeez, Louise. Far out. That's awful. So sad. Just one, just one, though. Not mass murder.

Why am I? I'm panicking. We love to panic. That's a reference to Jess Perkins' stand-up, and now we're back in the funnies. Sorry to interrupt Naomi's fantastic report here, but I've just got to ask a quick little question, and that is, have you ever browsed in incognito mode? Yes. You have?

Yeah. What have I told you, Jess, it's probably not as incognito as you think. And why would it be? Incognito mode, like the Chrome browser itself, is a Google product. And Google has made its fortune by triune. tracking your movements online. And alarmingly, it says here there's even a $5 billion class action lawsuit against the company in California where it's accused of secretly collecting user data.

Google's supposed defense, incognito does not mean invisible. So how do you actually make yourself as invisible as possible online? The answer is ExpressVPN. Yeah, it turns out that even in incognito mode, your online activity still gets tracked and data brokers still get to buy and sell your data. One of these data points is your IP address. Data harvesters use your IP to uniquely identify you and your location. But with ExpressVPN, your connection gets rerouted through an encrypted server

and your IP address is masked, like The Mask. Oh. I'm guessing? Son of the Mask? Yes. Every time you connect to ExpressVPN, you get a random IP address. Am I saying that right? I think so.

I'll spell it out and then they can, listeners can do with it what they will. IP address, shared by many other ExpressVPN customers that makes it harder for third parties to identify you or harvest your data. Best of all, ExpressVPN is super easy to use no matter what device you're on, phone, laptop,

or smart TV. All you have to do is tap one button for instant protection. I do it every day. If I can do it, Jess. A monkey could do it. Well, a pretty smart monkey. Yes, a monkey. So if you and your smart pet monkeys really want to go incognito and protect your privacy,

secure yourself with the number one rated VPN. Visit expressvpn.com slash do go on and get three months extra for free. That's EXPR EWSVPN.com slash do go go. on, expressvvpn.com slash do go on and get three months extra for free. In 2013, they were running out of money, right? In order to attract money from new investors, they went live at Walgreens in Arizona. Marky Mark was there. They went live with like a telethon.

Yeah. Call in. Get to speak to Marky Mark. Request to join the live. Or one of the other lesser known Walbergs. Larry Walberg. Larry Walberg. Wally

Wally Wollberg That's funny Just saying your own joke And they're being like, that's funny I don't know I wasn't her joke It was from the good place This is a funny name

Wally Wollberg Problem The machines had not been approved yet Yeah they don't work So they went ahead with a different plant They were going to accept blood From the general public Okay

That would then be sent to a nearby MakeShift lab for testing Elizabeth lobbied the state of Arizona to change the law so patients could order their own lab tests, which usually require a doctor so they can guide you on what to get tested on and they can also interpret the results. Because you get a bunch of numbers back when you get a lab star. Oh, I got a seven.

Is that good? So they'd Google it and, you know, they'd be like, oh no, it says I'm dying. The lower the number, the more dying you are. Seven out of many thousand days. That's bad. It's probably not great also to just. let people go get tested for anything and everything.

Without the guidance of a doctor, right? Well, okay, if you're a loser. No, I know. If you're a big virgin. I'm not a virgin. I know. We've heard it before. Shut up, you're a virgin.

No, I'm not. God, that was convincing because it was deep. Man, this guy fucks. Yeah, I do. Wink. Off the back of this launch, they were able to raise $400 million more dollars. What? Including, from investors including Betsy DeVos of the Trump administration.

Okay, yes, okay. And Rupert Murdoch, our favorite guy. We love that guy. We love him. Also, arguably, from the Trump administration. Yeah. And every bad one, since he. he was 20, I guess.

Yeah, shit. I don't know. Why are you guys hating on one of Australia's greatest? You know? That's a big Murdoch head. He left us. He is like the youngest self-made.

Male billionaire, I'm sure. He's pretty young. Tall, poppy syndrome alive and well in Australia. Hater's going to hate. In 2014, Elizabeth was named the youngest self-made female. Billionaire. Congratulations, Elizabeth.

You made it, baby. Queen, woman in STEM. We love her. Theronas was at this point valued her over $9 billion. Around half of that belonged, that valuation belonged, was like Elizabeth's. Elizabethes. Elizabethes?

Yeah. What? Did we skip over the bit or did I blank out in the bit where they got the thing working? What do you mean? Is the machine work? No. No, yeah, no, no. And it's worth $9 billion without it.

They'd get the finger prick and then they'd take the blood away to be tested. The normal way. Because they couldn't, they didn't have, like, FDA approval for the machines. So are they still faking it? Why are people giving them money? Because... What do you mean? So why have they got the $9 billion?

That's investment? That's an evaluation. Oh, valuation. Thank you very much. Have you heard of the economy? It's fake. It's horoscopes for many. I feel good today, so Apple is expensive.

I feel sad so Dow Jones go down. And that's my, that's my extent of my knowledge of the stock market. I think you're ready to invest. Thank you. You and Dave have been working together for six months now. You're finally ready. You may have one stock. Cool.

Literally on my to-do list is like, you know, fold washing, do go on report and then a little bit down that she says, invest in stocks. I had a bunch of question marks. Right, I guess. Good ones. Ethical ones. Obviously.

Like Tesla. Yes. That's on all the ethical funds and it's like, the employees are on a little unionise. It makes me feel good, doesn't it? Ethical. Anyway, sorry, getting political over here. My little soapbox.

John Carrey Rue. Okay. Sorry, you looked at me very intensely. Well, I know you guys used to have a thing. I don't like to talk about it. And he was mad because you wouldn't have sex with him because you're a big virgin. I wasn't the time, but I'm not now. What's it?

John Kerry Woo. Carri Roe. Carrie Roo. And you used to date someone in the story. No. I didn't date, but you boned him. Yeah. No.

No, that's the... No, she didn't. That's why they broke up. That's what I heard. Oh, really? Shut up. Is that why you're blinking and everyone? Stop coming to my podcast.

And spilling the tea. I told you that in confidence in a group chat. Everything stays in the group chat. Until it's screenshot, 10 seconds late. John Carrey Rue, Jess Perkins' ex-boyfriend, at the Wall Street Journal, found out about a lab job. director who'd recently left there and asked on quote unquote bad terms.

Oh dear. That's right. There's so many people who know it's bullshit. Yeah. Who have got bad blood. George Schultz's grandson. Okay. He was scared because he was being hounded by David Bowes who is maybe, who was at the time

maybe the most well-known lawyer in America who would then go on to become famous as working with Harvey Weinstein to silence his accused. use this. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool guy. Another king. On a list of many in this.

Henry Kissinger, David Bowers. When this story started, I thought it was going to be a feel-good story about a triumph, a young person, creating something great. Yeah, twist. I'm starting to think that's not happening. That's also what she thought. I really, I believed it the whole time until just then. Really?

This was going to be a thing that changed the world. Oh, no. You thought it was really fake. until you make it? I really did. You thought it was real, even though you've never heard of it. I know.

You get it. I haven't heard of a lot of things that are real. So is Boas hounding Schultz's grandson to be like, don't you talk shit about the company because they know he left on bad terms? Yes. Sort of pre-silencing him type thing.

Yes. What kind of childhood do you have to have to turn out to be a lawyer like that? You know? It's got to be just a slippery slope thing, right? You help one guy get off a speeding ticket. And you get a lot of money. You get a lot of money for something like that.

And then, you know, the next thing you know, you're defending Satan himself. There's a couple of steps in between. A couple of slips on the slopes. It's a big slide. It's a very big slide. She's, you know, Mark, my boyfriend, Mark Bonano. Oh, here we go. I've never actually seen him or met him.

You don't have to talk about it. I can drop him, but yeah, he could say my boyfriend, Mark. Co-creator of your TV show. Yes, yes. That is now on Netflix, and he also has another Netflix show. We're a double Netflix household. I love that. Do you believe that?

Jess, have you ever met this boyfriend? Um, no. He's real. Yeah, well, that's what you keep saying, but... No, he's real. He works here. Yeah, okay. He does on weekends.

Oh, yeah, just when no one else is around. What is he... Not Sundays. Not Sundays at a 10 days. 10 p.m. Who works Sunday? 10 p.m. That would be crazy.

Can you imagine doing work at 10 p.m. on a Sunday? That would be a dumb thing to do. What kind of psychos would, like, for example, invite you on to a podcast? 10 p.m. on a Sunday. Yeah, it would be so dumb. Ask you to do your little report. Anyway. Which is actually a real bummer, to be honest.

I made some comment about like. Honestly, if you get to make up a boyfriend, pick a best. the name than Mark. Yeah, but you really brought it home with that. Banana. Banana, really brought it home with that. That was good. Samuel. Yeah, well.

No, I want to hear. What did Mark do? I made some comment about buying detergent for a slip and slide and he just looked at me like just with like a furrowed brow where he was so content. He goes, are you supposed to put detergent on the slip and slide? And I was like, yeah, to make it slippery. And he's like, that's why it always hurt. He's just slay.

He's just getting stuck. Just burns. He was so sad. It's not his fault because his family's Sicilian and they didn't have that culture built in. They were just looking across the road and being like, okay, you hose it down. And then you get really hurt. Mum, my, me. They would have had, Elevoy would have been great for it.

They were had options. I would have had, yeah. Mike Hans, I don't know me. I'm one 16th Swiss Italian, so. What's Swiss Italian? Oh gosh. That's pretty insensitive, but it's the people from the border of Switzerland and Italy.

So Swiss. They're not even fully from Italy. Well, they're Italian speaking. Right. So it's basically like 132. Oh, yeah, because someone drew a line on a map one day. I'm less Italian. No, that's 16th takes into consideration that.

It's one of my nannas, so it's really a quarter. But you downgrade it to a 16th out of being insecure. Yes, I don't believe in myself. Yes, you bring that out in me more than anyone. It's mostly because the number 16th is funny at the quarter. Yeah, that's the main reason. Great comedy in that. One 16th Swiss Adelian.

Naomi, do you appreciate Dave explaining comedy to you? I love that only when he repeated it, did he laugh? He's like, yeah, that's good comedy and then just re-did it and gave me the laugh. Good stuff. Anyway, can we edit this bit out? And I really don't like people peeking by on the curtain. You've docksed your blood. What do you describe this segment as cosy-cozy?

I'm saying that, right? Yeah. Miquiamo Matthew. Calling Matt to ask all my Italian questions. Past is the best. I'm having some people over. The little dick ones. Little dick ones.

The novelty penis. Oh, my God. Or novelty dinosaur. Better than penis. But the dinosaurs have big penises. They're mostly penis. It's very funny. It's very funny.

And that's what scientists got wrong about dinosaurs for a long time. They just couldn't move. Yeah. Because of their humongous dicks. That's how they died out. Yeah. Couldn't run away from the asteroid. They had big anchors dropping out of their fucking...

Huge swinging slongs. Yeah. Cool things. Poor dinosaurs. Too bad. Jurassic Park left that bit out. Censored ship, crazy these days. I'm going to have a time out for a bit.

Do go on, Naomi. So how they figured out it was Tyler, is that he was talking to Carrie Roo. It's never going to get easier to say Carrie Roo. He was talking to him. He sent him some like data to be like, this is the stuff, like this was 42.9% wrong, some certain test.

So then Carrie Roo emailed Theronos a bunch questions being like, is this true, is this true? Is this true? Because he was going to write about it. And they looked up 42.9.9 and they found an email that Tyler had sent to Elizabeth being like, hey, I'm a bit worried because this is 42.9% inaccurate. And they were like, we know who it is. We know who the mole is. The mole. And this was a great season, by the way. Yeah, great season of the mall. I would never have guessed that it was Tyler. Is the Moller show that anyone else had? Bring it back.

I think so. Surely we didn't do anything original ever. That feels like a British concept. Right? They actually have concepts over there. So with the agreement that he'd remain confidential, you know, he was saying all this stuff. The Edison only really performed a few tests, and the rest of the tests were done on large commercial. machines, the very machines that the Edison

was supposed to disrupt. They were buying competitors' machines to test this blood in Arizona. But they're still thinking that they'll be able to come good? Are they still working on the tech of the Edison or have they just sort of giving it up now?

They're still working. Yeah. Night and freaking day, brother. We're going to crack this code. We've had 9,000 attempts. We're getting close. Yeah. And that only took a few years. So we've only got two months until it's perfect. Never mind.

We've only got three tests out of 200 working. So Carrie Roo was like, okay, I've got to investigate this more. I'm going to go to Walgreens. I'm going to get the finger prick, you know, test it, see what happens. He's an investigative journalist. He's going to figure it out. He goes there to get the finger prick thing done, and they're like, we need to draw blood. And he's like, isn't this the whole point?

Right. Isn't this the whole point that you don't need to draw? Oh, so they want X-Roeblood. extra blood. They wanted a vial of blood. Okay. So it's like a, it's a normal blood test. Yes.

But they've done a blood test and a finger prick now. Yeah. And so Carriou was like, uh, okay, random. That's how he talks. That's kind of weird. God, you know. I mean, you'd know. It's a little triggering.

Sorry. I miss him. With a voice like that, I would. Yeah. Um, a random. Okay. Um, so as time went on, More and more tests turned into vener puncture rather than the fingerpricks.

Wow. So they were just taking a lot of vials of blood from these people. Why? And people would get mad. They'd be like, what the fuck? The whole reason I came here. Yeah, I came here because I'm really scared of needles and I thought this is my answer. That's so strange.

And they were like, shut up. Why don't they just say we're closing down for a bit? That probably would give it away, wouldn't it? Closing out for a bit, don't ask any question. We'll be back soon. Well, because as you know, Matt, the machines were working. Yes, of course. Very well.

Duh. They just had them off, you know, off-site so that, because they weren't approved, they had to get them checked by lab techs. You understand? Yes, of course. But they knew they were working. Oh, man. This feels like they're going to get in a lot of trouble. None.

It works out. Don't know. So these samples are being processed by lab techs who were doing lots of rushed manual work. So these things, it was supposed to only take 45 minutes. It would sometimes take them up to six hours just to set it up before they even run the test. And the nanotainers were so small that they would get lost. Problem with nanotaners, isn't it? They're like this big.

You think, I'm going to be, I'm going to organise my life on my cupboards. I'm going to put everything in nanotainers. But you can't find anything anymore. So have you ever tried to look for a nanotainer? You beat all day. So you've just held up the size of like a stamp or an SDA. A centimeter and a half maybe? Yeah.

Yeah. Absolutely tiny. So you can barely write their name on it. you wouldn't be, it's like, you know, when you go to the market and someone will be like, I'll write your name on a grain of rice. You need a nanotech. You would need one of them. And so that was also a lot of manual labor was the art lady who would come in. And she would write your name on it.

With those big, little heart. Magnifying goggles. Yeah. And then you'd be like, great. Now I have a grain of rice with my name on it. Lost it. Yeah. Want to look at it?

Great. It looks like you'd write the rice. With my name on it. Yeah, if you look really closely, you can't unless you have their technology, my name's on it. That's my rice. Don't eat my rice.

How do you know? How do you know? That's how they should have got around. They should have given the results back to people. Say we've done the test. Here are your results on this grain of rice. You'll have to get special technology to be able to read it though.

And then they can say, we've given the results at works and never have to actually prove it. That's clever. Why weren't you there? I wish I was. Could have saved them all this trouble. I wish I was there.

Blood samples were diluted, so there'd be enough liquid to run them through the commercial machines, which violated the operating standards of those machines. This resulted in the lab techs needing to fudge results and rerun tests until they, quote, unquote, worked. Oh gosh. And hand back results that they knew full well were not accurate. Oh, my God. So this is, you know, testing you for cancer or heart disease or hepatitis. So the, yeah, these scenarios where you're chasing your own lies and you, yeah, just incrementally you're in way too deep.

Yeah, like some sort of scheme we're getting people to invest, but I use your money, pyramid scheme, to buy this. But don't worry, I'll get your money back to you, but I just need a big win over here. And I'm just got to, oh no, suddenly it is a snowball out of control. Ponzi. Ponzi. Do you think that was a guy? We just covered that. Really?

guy. He was a dude, Ponzi. We did discover that on this show? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I remember. What are the live ones? Yeah, the Eiffel Tower episode. Ah, yeah. The guy... Gregor Ponzi. Yeah.

The guy who sold the Eiffel Tower twice. Oh, yeah. His mate was a Ponzi. That sounds interesting. Why don't you tell me about it? I will right now. Let me just bring up that word document. And away we go. Count Victor Lustig is the name. Okay.

Didn't ask. did. Doesn't sound so interesting now, doesn't it? I really want to be more like my niece. Once I saw her get on a computer and then she was talking to her dad, my brother-in-law, and she was like, how do you do this? She's like four. And then he was like, oh, you just like, you know, click here, click here.

And she just goes, duh. And I was like, fuck, you're cool. She asked and then gave him a duh. Yeah. I mean, I do the, I do the, I do the, the, um, political version of that. I'll ask a man a question and then they'll explain it and I'll be like, okay, mansplainer. And they get so upset.

Yeah, and very fragile, aren't they? It's all right, Matt. Go back to the gym. A little gym, bro. I'll bench my troubles away. Sorry, my phone's locked. I got an iPhone and I just don't know how to work. You can't stop talking about it.

It's a big life change, okay? go from Android to iPhone. All the swipes are different. For example, for one of the tests, syphilis, right? If 100 people who had syphilis went to get tested at Theranos, which Theranos said, like they were testing patients, you know, for syphilis. Only 65 of them would be told they had syphilis, and the other 35 would be told you're fine.

You don't have syphilis. Well, that'd be great news for them briefly. until their dick falls off. What happens with syphilis? Even if you were a woman, your dick will fall off. Yeah. And that will be a shock. Oh my God, dick just fell off me.

That's so weird. That's... Really upsetting for people who don't have a dick to get syphilis, then grow a dick, and then have it fall off. That is the worst part of syphilis. It was for me. Yeah, we do. Oh, yeah, Jess.

Okay. I'm fucked. I just think every time I come on this podcast, I should just create some law. Yeah. No, the big virgin energy is already. Okay, yeah. That's an existing. We've known for years.

We didn't know about David Roo though. That's new. Carrie Roo. Carri Roo, fuck. Do you listen? Yes. Carrie Roo. It's a great name.

We just don't retain, but we listen. We do not retain. No. Heads like Sives. Against the policy here. I retain, I just don't listen. Like when Matt asked me a question for it and I went, yes, but I don't know what it means. Anyway, can I get back to my freaking report?

Please, do go on. Thank you, King. Theron also were having trouble with the FDA. Surprise, surprise. What do they call? Federal drugs administrator. I don't know. There you go.

No, that's probably poop. Everyone, we know, even us in Australia, we know the FDA is just like where you get. Something like that. Yeah. The FDA said that they have not provided enough information for the agency to clear or approve the test. So rather than submit full applications, Theranos flooded FDA with vague letters trying to stall for time until the Edisons could do all the tests that Theranos advertised. And that could take years.

Right. So they were just like, how are you going? Just stalling. Oh, what's that over there? That's great. It's so shiny. Look. Whoa.

Just send them a Sudoku. That'll buy us half an hour. An hour if Terry gets... You know what Terry's like, he does not understand Sudoku. What an idiot. Once in high school there was this girl and I thought she was really smart, right? And then once I saw her doing a Sudoku puzzle with a pencil, and then she started rubbing out numbers.

And I was like, that's not how you do a Sudoku puzzle? I'm like, how do you... Because once you fuck up a Sudoku puzzle, puzzle. It's like you don't know which number to erase. Do you know what I mean? Once you put the wrong... I don't know because I don't understand. Once you put the wrong number down, you're kind of screwed. Okay. And let's see you like, backtrack

one by one. But how are you going to remember what you've done? Maybe she's really smart. And she remembers. Yeah, no. But I asked her I was like, why are you erasing numbers? And she's like, oh, it's a joke. I'd just like to guess. She's just writing numbers in. Yeah. That's fun. And then if they all don't line up one number per row, per column,

per square. She's like, I'll try a different 40 numbers. I was like, what the fuck? Hey, everyone does Sudoku differently. I use letters. Really? Yeah, I spell fun words in there. I just draw little flowers.

Yeah, I'm pretty cute. That's more productive than what she was doing. FDA's Food and Drug Administration. Thank you so much for that. I know you were really stressing over that. I was so stressed. You know, it's not for you. It's for someone out there.

Oh, they're going to... There's someone out there who wanted us to say it. Like that girl at the gig, they're going to put their hand up. Yeah. Like, it's a call and response scenario. I don't have to tell them about the time I was on acid. With the FDA. So, since the FDA has come back and said,

you've got to go back and spend years on this. Well, you need to tell us what you're doing so we can approve it. And what's their response to that? Their response was like, hey, we've got a question about this, like, random things. So if you could just get back to us about this and then we'll totally get the explanation to you, but we just need to know about this one. You used a full stop here and I was like, what? So if you could just get back to us and then we'll totally get it to you. And also here's a Sudoku. Could you just help us fill this out?

Here's a pencil with an eraser. And I particularly want Terry to look out. I notice your last name is Barnes. Do you know Samantha Barnes? She was in my high school. And after we figure out these, two or three things. world, huh? Well, in the meantime, the Theranos operation in Palo Alto, the Arizona one, was being regulated by CMS. I don't know what they stand for either, sorry. A federal agency in charge of clinical labs.

So obviously their lab was getting, you know, regulated. Yeah. So even though some of the patient tests were performed on Edison's, on the actual, like, machinery that they had built, Theranos never reported those. only gave CMS the data that were from the machines that they bought from other people. Fucking hell. So they were just lying. So they're like, you look, it's accurate.

It's as accurate as anyone else because we use their machine, but don't say anything. Apart from the ones that we use diluted stuff and 35 guys got syphilis and their dicks fell off. Well, that's a problem with the other machine. Oh, that's the problem with the other machine. Yeah. So, not that's a separate problem. We've got lots of problems. Meanwhile, family drama.

Tyler. Yes. Our favorite grandson. Yes. My favorite grandson. That we all gave birth to together. Shultzzi? Shultzzi.

This guy's listening. We like him, right? Yes. He's the informant. He's telling Carrie Rue the truth. Yeah. He was invited to his grandfather's house to talk about, you know, clearly he's gone to the press. They're really mad.

So he sits down and there are two lawyers there. And they ask him to sign a confident. financiality agreement. Tyler doesn't want to do this. And then one of the lawyers starts verbally abusing Tyler to the point where his grandmother picked up a fire iron, you know, where that you poke a fire with, and like whacked the lawyer. What? And then his grandfather, and if you see this guy, he's old as shit. He had to like wrestle the lawyers out of the room and separate his grandson from them because they were so mad and aggressive. Right. So the grandfather's coming around of the grandson's side?

Well, yeah, he still loves his grandson. But he doesn't believe him. I don't think at this point. But he doesn't want... He believed him. The lawyer working for him to abuse his grandson. No, no. He's not a fan of that.

So he's drawn a line somewhere. Yeah. And the line was when his wife picked up a fire iron. And just went wailing. He's like, this is not how I saw this going this morning. The lawyers threatened tiled various lawsuits. And his parents... fending off these lawsuits

had to pay between $4,000 and $500,000 in legal fees trying to fight off these Theranos lawyers. Brutal. Fun for trying to tell the truth. Yeah. The system works. It really does. It's amazing, isn't it?

And then another ex-Lab associate, Erica Chung, was also being intimidated by David Bowes to send in, they wanted her to send in various documents and, like, report on people. so that she was like in support of Theranos. They basically wanted a witness on their side, which she didn't want to do because she left Theranos because it was crazy and really, really bad.

And so she was terrified. She didn't have any money. And she got a letter from, yeah, this famous lawyer being like, you better do this or something bad. Jesus. So she ended up reporting. She whistleblue to that regulator that I was talking about before

because that was basically the only way she was going to be protected. Whistle-lowing laws. Baby. So if you're ever scared. Blow that whistle. Blow that whistle, bit. Yeah. In July 2015, amazing news.

Theranos got an FDA clearance. Oh. Okay. Which they celebrated by having Elizabeth and Sunny walk out into a company-wide meeting while you can't touch this by MC Hammer played. No, they did it. No, they did. And she's in a black skivy.

I'm imagining her doing running man. And she was speaking along with it. You can't touch this. Maybe I can find a video. Yeah, I found it. I mean, the thing about Elizabeth is, like, she also, like, her shoulders always look quite tense. There's something about the way she walks, like, her shoulders don't move at all. Okay.

Like, she's moving from the shoulders and everything. You've studied her. Yeah, I have. Anyway, this is, it's kind of reminiscent of people will have to look this up to see the visuals, but it's reminiscent of, you know, there's like Microsoft, like, you know, those videos are like Bill Gates and all the guys like dancing on the stage to celebrate things. So we'll put a link, on our social media during the week, we'll put a link to this, I'm sure. Wait, where does she dance? There she goes. Oh, yeah, that's something very strange.

Just all these lab nerds. Oh, yeah. He's very charismatic. What do you guys think about the FDA clearance? Hey, how we doing? Jess is speechless right now. Hey, uh, shout out to our Emsie Hammer. Yeah, that was, that was chilling.

The movement from the shoulders, because she puts her arms up, like she's raising the roof. Yeah. But it's like she's so stiff in the shoulders. It's really unsettling. That's really weird. Her and her 50-year-old boyfriend. Oh, I don't like it. She's not 19 anymore at that point.

No, she's around 30. Right. She had the company going for a freaking while. But this was only one test that got an FDA clearance. It was a rarely used test for herpes. But the Edison machine worked. For herpes. For one test out of the 200 that they claimed it could.

I seem very interested in this herpes test. Well, I just think it's great news and only a little pen print. I can finally get an answer. What do you mean, Matt? You can finally get an answer. I mean, we as a humanity. As a people. Not you, obviously, Jess.

Not me. Not you. Yeah, you. Just don't worry about it, Jess. I could still get herpes. Yeah, I heard you can get it other ways. Yeah. Toilet seed or something.

Oral herpes. Nothing. Cold sauce. What are you doing to that toilet seat? I just want to fit in. Chickenpox is a type of herpes Did you know that? Wow.

I had that twice. I had chicken pox and then I had shingles at 19. Oof. And I went to the, I didn't know what it was and I went to the doctor and the doctor was like,

you have shingles, don't worry. It's like people think that it's just for old people but, you know, young people can get it and I was like, oh, I didn't know

that about shingles. And she was like, oh, well, yeah, don't worry. And then I got out of the doctor's appointment and I called my mom and I have shingles. And she went,

you're 19. 18! They have shingles at 19! Is that how your mom's house? Yeah. So, shingles is adult chicken pox, is it? It's chicken pox, like, making a comeback, baby. It's the same thing.

It's just like it lies dormant in you forever. And then it comes back and it fucks you off. It was really painful, isn't it? Yeah, it was awful for me, actually, because it was on my, like, it only appears on one side of your body because it comes from, like, your spine up, like, through the nerves. So I had it on my hip on one side. And so it was summertime.

So I was just wearing dresses with no underwear because it hurt. And then my boyfriend at the time, his mom was a nurse. And she was so obsessed with my shingles. And then we were eating dinner one day and she had a nurse friend over. And like my boyfriend knew I wasn't wearing underwear. And she's like, oh, like, show us your shingles. Because she wanted to show her friend. And I'm just like, how do I tell?

It is nice to have something to talk about with your partner's mom. I was like, how do I tell Bronwyn that I'm not wearing underwear? And at the dinner table, no less. I was so panicked. Have a look at your shingles. Show us. Anyway, that is the other side effect of shingles. It makes you really slutty.

Are they not infectious? They're not contagious, is the word I was looking for? They are a little bit, but no. You have to be touching it. You're like, fuck you, Bronwyn. Which is what the nurse wanted to do. Well, she wasn't touching it. Nurses love to eye bullshit.

They love to be like, oh yeah, I know what that is. They love it. Bringing their work home with them. Yeah, kind of help themselves. Yeah. Whereas doctors are like, no. Pay me. Yeah. Anyway, there was also a bouncy castle at this huge celebration for one little perpies test.

They jumped, got on, Elizabeth and Sonny. Woo, whoo, jumping around. Didn't that do Sonny's back? He's old. He's so old. Yeah, he's like 49, bro. Oh, God. Just die already.

49. Might as well be dead. To the 49-year-old listeners out there, I value. you and I think you should keep living. Wink. I didn't what. I didn't wink. Sorry about you said wink.

We all heard it. That was weird. Another man in the room. The Wall Street Journal article dropped a few months later. Okay. Bombshell. Is that Mark Wahlberg's paper? Yes.

People tried to reach Elizabeth Holmes, but she was unavailable all day because she was being inducted into the Harvard Medical School of Board of fellows on that day. Bad timing for her. She did go on Mad Money on CNBC that night and said the article was false. One of her best quotes comes in this interview where she says,

first they think you're crazy, then they fight you, and then all of a sudden you change the world. Oh, that is a great quote. Isn't that fun? That's a great quote. That was a really good impersonation, I think. I watched a lot of this woman. All she's done so far is tested for herpes. Hey, she's tested for other stuff too.

Just badly. Yeah, I mean, it's not good tests. Yeah. But she gave it to go. She spilled a lot of blood. She also got a bouncy castle. Oh, I did forget about that for a second. Yeah, that is the ultimate sign of success.

Bouncy castle. Where's yours, Jess? We have not succeeded yet. Well, name one world leader that has done anything without spilling a lot of blood. Damn, that's actually true. There we go. Holy shit. Luckily, she's spilled a bit left.

Well, then, and then the vials. came and it's sort of, yeah, that wasn't a point. It's quite a bit of blood, actually. A lot of blood, isn't you know, a lot of blood. A vial from, you know, every person, there's a lot of blood, you know? Okay. Soon after, Sonny held, soon after this article went wide, um, uh, sunny held a meeting with everyone in the company in the cafeteria

and, uh, and where he said, you know, this, this John Carrierie guy is crazy, he's coming after us, you know, I don't know why. It's like everything we're doing. It's great. But is he talking to the people that are doing the fake tests? Aren't they like, pardon me, aren't they like, I read the article and it's exactly what I'm doing? Well, they didn't all work in the lab. But the other thing was that there was a really weird culture where everyone was like siloed into different, like they couldn't really talk to each other and they didn't trust each other.

And also they found out that they were being keystrokes. So everything they typed in a computer was being logged. and also every email they sent was being like BCCed to Elizabeth and Sunny. So you would like email someone else and then get a response from Sunny as well. So they knew they were being watched and they basically like didn't make eye contact with different teams. Imagine just emailing your friend at work being like, do you grab lunch at one? And the boss being like, I'll be there. Where are you guys going, smiley face?

One sounds good to me. Could we push to 110? I'm going to wrap up at one. I'm going to need to pee afterwards. I'll meet you downstairs at 110. Can I get a confirmation from both of you? One 10.

Love Sunny. He was like that. Yeah, he's cute. P-S, our machine definitely works. No questions. Smiley face. So, yeah, none of them trusted each other. They couldn't really talk to each other.

So if they ever had any problems, then they couldn't like, you know, the chemistry people and the engineering. people couldn't talk to each other to figure it out. So they'd just be like working on the problem that would require, you know, collaboration for ever because they couldn't figure anything out. So also, yeah, the people who weren't in the labs, it was just like, they said there was a, there was a separation between the tiled world and the carpeted world. And the carpeted world was like Elizabeth Holmes was amazing. She was this idol and just like, you know, everyone loved her and she

was changing the world. And then you go to the tiled room and it's just people like running and screaming and just blasts, smashing everywhere. These things are falling off this machine and exploding. Yeah. I still haven't got my head around that. They're tiny little explosions. They've made blood flammable. Then that is an innovation.

Yeah, look at it. Didn't used to burn like that. It won't stop. Now we just step around, that little fire. It's been going for two years. Now, so yeah, so, in this meeting, yeah, he was like this guy's stupid, blah, blah, blah. So then he got the whole company to start chanting in this one meaning,

fuck you, Carrie Roo, fuck you, Carrie Roo, fuck you, Carrie Roo. It's a cross. I remember you say that quite a bit at one point of time. I was crying. Broke my heart. So a real culture of we're right and everyone else is wrong. Incredible. Which is my philosophy as well, but it has worked out for me better than these people.

So now the information was out, at least Theronaut stopped going after Tyler because they had bigger issues. Yeah. And his grandfather has since told him that he's proud of him for what he did. Oh, okay. I know we were all worried about their tense relationship. Oh, I was, yeah. I'm glad he lived long enough to do that. I mean, thank Christ.

He's very, very old. He's one of the oldest men you'll ever see. Sorry for inviting you over. He's so old, he looks cute. He looks like a Dr. Zeus character. You know when old men get to a certain age, and even if they're evil, and was like, did you know Elizabeth well? You go, yes.

And I'm like, oh, look him. Cute little old man. I can't help it with old men. Because you know, they're not emotionally equipped. So if I ever I see an old man who's sad, I'm like, oh my God. No? No. I find a lot of people relate to me on this.

Not you, though. No. You're like, fuck off. I hate most people, though, to be sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not me. I'm charming. Wait, just as charming.

She just hates people. Yeah. You can be both. Am I charming? I don't think I am. I have a certain charm. Yeah, you're charming. Like a cult leader.

No. Oh God, then I have to deal with so many people. Sorry. You'd have to fuck so many people. I'd have to fuck so many people. Finally. All right. That's why he started a cult.

Please. Please, someone. The cult leader's begging. Please. They said, you don't want to fuck me. I don't want to force it, you know. Well, you're not cut out to be a cult leader then. Yeah, you're right.

Are all cults, sex cults? A lot of them. There's got to be an element of that. Right. You know? Not all, sure. But my vast majority of cults. Hashtag not all cults.

I did listen to your episode on the cutlery cult. That was very good. I like that one. Dinnerware. Which I thought was a suit. All right. Shit. Sorry I didn't remember the whole fucking thing.

Oh, my God. No. You listen, but you don't retain. Ouch. Okay, Elizabeth sat down for an video interview at a Wall Street Journal conference and continued to blatantly lie about how they were testing samples and more and more press just kept following the company, basically. So Wall Street Journal's a one that published this article.

Yes. And she sat down with them. Yeah, to be like they're completely false. Right. Which was just a lie. With John Kerry Roo? No, no, no. It was just some other person, some loser probably.

I bet she said I'll never talk to John Kerry Roo because he's such a liar But obviously Fuck you, Carrie Roo He's such a liar His pants are on fire Just like this patch on the floor Don't walk into it

Yes So Elizabeth claimed that there was Bad leadership at this point in the labs And that she did not know That there were any problems Until they had a government inspection She claimed at this point That she had no idea

After lying and lying and lying, she sort of, you know, it came out. The government were like this as fuck. They actually got regulated properly and it was... They got away with it. It was so long. Yeah. And then she spoke at a clinical lab conference in front of her detractors, finally revealing the inside of what she called the mini lab,

so she's named it like it's a new thing, but it's hard to know if this was just like all the parts of the Edison that they got working. Because she also can't call it the Edison because the Edison supposedly does 200 tests. Right. So who knows? Who knows, right? And then in 2016, Fortune named Holmes,

one of the world's most disappointing leaders. Ben. Fucking brutal, isn't it? So they had a list of 200 of those. Is that what you said? One of the world's 200 most disappointing leaders? No. Did I say 200?

No, probably not. What happened there? I don't know what. What's going on? I'm not sure. The list was just one name. I thought it was a wild amount of people to have on it, but I just invented that part of your sentence.

Yeah, that's crazy. I don't listen or retain. But you have a great imagination. That's what we love. And then by 2017, Theronaut had spent all of the, almost all of the $900 million that it had raised to date, a third of which went to legal fees and refunding every single person for their blood tests.

Oh my God, wow. $300 million. And did she come out and say, taking any responsibility? was at all like, I didn't know. Whoopsie. She didn't know. Poor leadership in the labs. Sure.

But what about the fact that she's told people that the machine works when it doesn't work? That's also poor leadership. She thought it worked because of the labs. The lab leadership. They'd been lying. Lying lab leadership. Yeah. Damn them.

That's why they kept quitting because they were lying and then they quit. Because of the guild. You know? Yeah. The guilt of being a lying lab leader. Terrible turnover rate with liars. Constant. They keep saying,

I'm going to keep working there and then they quit. Absolute. It's probably all the fault of that head scientist guy who was in charge of the resumes because he just kept hiring all these liars. Absolutely. You know, how is she to know? How is she to know? It's not like she was reading all their emails.

Because I just came up with the idea. I didn't have to, I didn't follow through with the idea. That's not my job. I mean, that's the fucking crazy. When she started this company, she was 19 and she'd done one year of university. No scientific background properly. Yeah, and if you think about all the people that invested in this, they're all political people.

Yeah. Not scientists. Interesting, no. It's so funny how far into this report we got before I realized. I was going for a twist. I love the drama. It was like gossip. So that's why you saw I just fell for what you were trying to get me to fall for.

You said she was like a billionaire. She was named. Named, yeah. And then at one point I did lies because you were like, like, oh, so they got the machine to do this. And I said yes, because that's what she was saying. And so it was, you know, in keeping with the narrative. Okay.

I'm a storyteller. I'm, look, maybe it's naive of me to believe. Yeah, thank you. Anyway, also at this point, Elizabeth broke up with Sunny and fired him from the company. Oh, Jesus. Double whammy. Very sad. They've been together for a while.

Yeah, like freaking ten years. Before breaking out with him, she played MC Hammers. You can't touch this. She's thrown it to herself the whole time. Can't touch this. Very sad. And then in 2017, she was deposed and said something to the effect of I don't know over 600 times. Wow.

Wow. I don't know. I don't know. I do not recall. For a woman who used to have all the answers, it's crazy. Yeah. Does she start speaking in a regular voice? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't think that would help her case. She's actually got a real. baby voice? I don't know. I don't know. I'm baby. I just widdle. I don't know anything. I don't know. I small. As my 19 year old older than me, boyfriend. Sorry about that. All right. On March 14th, 2018, she settled an SEC lawsuit, which is basically a place, like the body that protects banks and investors. So obviously, we stand these kings. Finally, someone's protecting. Wall Street.

Right. Someone had to stand up and protect them. So the charges of fraud included the company's false claim that its technology was being used by the US Department of Defense and Combat situations. It was not. Okay. That's a bit of a lie. The company also lied when it claimed to have a $100 million revenue stream in 2014. It turned out it was only $100,000.

But they only lied by like three zeros. So far, very provable lies. The terms of homes The settlement included surrendering, voting control of Theranos, a ban on holding an officer position in a public company for 10 years and a $500,000 fine, which two, you know, who was once the world's youngest female billionaire, I'm sure a $500,000 fine just left her on the straight, destitute.

But does you have any of that cash left? Was it ever liquid capital? Well, no. That's the thing. When the company got like revalued, she ended up her value was reduced to nothing because the money that was left was for the people who had invested. So, yeah, she got re-evaluated. To zero.

From $4.5 billion to zero. To now minus $500,000. Yes. If you have to pay that fine. But you're still pretty rich. Later in 2018, Theronauts dissolved, Elizabeth and Sunny were charged with nine counts of wire fraud and two counts of conspiracy to commit wire fraud. They pleaded not guilty. Of course.

In early 2019, Holmes became engaged to William Billy Evans, a 27-year-old heir to the Evans Hotel Group. So finally some good news for our queen. Things are looking up. In mid-2019, Holmes and Evans married in a private ceremony. The couple lives in San Francisco. So his name is William Billy. So William, you assume William William, or Billy? Billy is the nickname.

Okay. Sorry, I didn't, I didn't use the right tone. Billy, Billy, boy. Billy, boy. She calls him a Billy, Billy Boy. A modern-day Paris Hilton, some would say. Okay. Oh, wow.

An heir to a hotel. Another self-made millionaire. They're amazing. How do they do it? I wish I knew I'd love to have a billion dollars. The couple lives in San Francisco. Holmes is pregnant at the moment and is expecting the child to be born July 2021. So that's coming the frick up.

She got her pregnancy test through the Edison machine. Pretty confident. She's just waiting for that belly to grow any day now. It's weird because it's been like seven, six months. The gender reveal was herpes. So yeah, the case U.S. versus Holmes is currently set to begin on August 31, 2021, after being pushed back by COVID and her being pregnant. Oh, wow.

So this is still up in the air. It is ongoing. It is happening this year. So we're saying allegedly at any point here? I don't think so. Oh, well, just allegedly. There you go. I think, oh, well, I know, law.

You just throw one in at any point. Yeah, this is all according to people. Is that how people works? Yeah. Yeah. If convicted Holmes faces a maximum sentence of 20 years in prison and a fine of $250,000 plus restitution for each count of wire fraud and for each conspiracy count.

Sunny's trial will begin after Holmes' trial ends for some reason. I don't know. But anyway, so that's the very happy story of Girl Boss, Woman in Stan, Elizabeth Holmes. Whoa. What a story, Naomi. But it's ongoing. We'll have to get you back sometime after the trial finishes in seven or eight years.

So it's ongoing. So it's going to keep getting pregnant, I reckon, since it pushes it back for some reason. At the moment, I think the last thing that her lawyers are trying to argue is that the jury shouldn't, the court shouldn't hear about her lifestyle because it might, it has nothing to do with the charges and it might turn the jury against her. Oh, what's her lifestyle? Like the food that she orders and the place that she lives and the car that she drives And the holidays that she takes

Yeah, right. Because she's still rich as shit. Yeah, I mean, she's got old money, you know? Right. It's hard to burn. Doesn't run out. Bloody hell. What a feel good story.

Really inspirational. Kind of makes me feel like anything is possible. Absolutely. Just put your mind to it. There's no positive in that. I'm just looking at, Jess. I'm just looking her up now. She sounds like a fascinating person.

Yeah, yeah. Do you want to, I can show you what she looks like when she's being deposed, just so you can see how much she doesn't blink. I found one article from the Toronto Sun. It says, bad blood is disgraced Elizabeth Holmes's wedding to air her latest scam. And then it says his family believes he has been brainwashed. Oh, gosh. She's really good at that, though.

Like, what a queen. Hey, Naomi, do you want to hang around for the Patreon section? Yeah, sure. Yeah? All right, well, it is now time for everyone's favorite section. Let's show the fact quote or question section, which has a jingle to go somewhere like this. Fact quote or question.

D-ding. He always remembers the ding. That's fun. Now, to get involved in this one, Naomi, not you personally, but, you know, feel free. All you. Support us on Patreon, not the, the, Sydney-Shaunberg level.

I'm good. You can do that via patreon.com or do-go-onpod.com. Don't get mad at me. It's a little joke. She's more of an ass-prong, supporter. Oh what?

There's another level. Associate producer of the show. You get shout-outs on certain levels. You can get bonus. There's three bonus episodes a month. There's all sorts of different things. There's a Facebook group where people get to hang out, you know, like in Facebook. That's fun.

We've got a chat room, essentially. And it's a very nice place. On what's this called Facebook? Facebook. Yeah, you'll love it. You'll love it. I've just invested personally. Chat room.

And, but to get in the fact, quote, a question section, you go to the Sydney Schaenberg level, and you get to give us a factor quota of question, and you also get to to give yourself a title. And we go through four each week, Naomi. That's so fun. kicking off this week, we've got Zach Dobran, who's given himself the title of the day one, which is a fun little reference to the time. Day one.

Yes, Sammy gets it. And Zach has offered us a fact, and here is the fact. Do Go On has a direct influence on some of my mannerisms as a high school history teacher. Whenever I talk about the death of someone, brackets within reason, or the fall of an empire, I always start with, all good things must come to an end. Thanks, you three. That's a fun, that's a fun fact. Zach, we've got a new one for you. wink

to your class. Don't do that to your students. Don't do that, Zach. No, certainly not. All good things must come to an end. It's pretty funny for his true teacher. You talk about a lot of empires and people don't. Just ten times a class.

But all good things must come to an end. Yes, Mr. Dobbin, we know. Someone else is about to die. That's great. I'm so glad that we're influencing the next generation. Via Zach. Now, Mr. Dobram. So now the next one comes from Michael Derizzi, but he, I don't know for what reason,

but he gave us two within 50 minutes. He put one in, 50 minutes later he came back, put another one in. So I'm going to... That's regret. I'm going to put it up to you. Do you want to hear Michael's quote or Michael's fact? The fact is the second one. So if he was feeling regret, maybe that's what...

We never get quotes. Do a quote? I'll do the other one down the track. Why are you looking at me? Naomi, what do you think? Do you want a factor or quote? What do you prefer? From Michael de Risci.

A quote. A quote, all right. Girls unite. Interesting. I think his title is Arnie Donner related. He's giving himself the title, Guy in the Kiln.

Yes. What's that? There's an Arnie Donner sketch where they get in the kiln. But everyone, people love it. Sounds not funny. Does that sound like one of Mark? Mark wrote that one?

He wouldn't write something so stupid, surely. That sounds stupid. So Michael's quote is, I was recently telling a friend of mine that Root means something different to Australians than it does to Americans, something sexual. My friend's response was,

and I guess this is the quote, why do you know so many dumb things about Australians? Aw. That's so cute. Because of us. Maybe. We did that. Maybe.

I bet he says Melbourne. Yeah, not Melbourne. Melbourne, Australia. Melbourne. It's very unsettling to me when an American accent says Melbourne. It sounds stupid, doesn't it? Yeah. And then I'm like, I hated you saying Melbourne for so long, but go back to it.

Go back. Yeah, because they're doing a run up to it. You're like, here we go. Yeah. It's going to be born. Here we go. Ben. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. I hated that. Oh, my God. I interviewed an American brewer for the beer pioneer last week, and he said Melbourne. And it was sort of, I said, you said it, you said it the Australian way. And he's all, I've been around for the war. You said it Australian way. You said it, Mr. Sur?

You said, Mr. Sir. Yes. But he was, yeah, because he's a good, had a strong American accent, Coloradoan, and then just went, Melbourne. Melbourne. Yeah, it sounds weird. I loved it. It's gross. I love it both ways.

Stop it. And the next one comes from Paul Jacob. Thank you so much to Michael. The next one comes from Paul Jacob, who says as a title, I'm a wanderer, yeah, a wanderer. I roam around, around, around, around. Thank you, Paul.

You get that one? Oh. Yeah. You both looked like, that's crazy. I mean, it's a lyric from an old song. I'm a wanderer. The wanderer. I'm a wanderer.

I'm a wanderer. Around, around, around, around. Is it Eddie Cochran or something? You really could have made that up. Naomi and I are both. You don't remember that song? No, but it's fine. It's fine.

It's fine. I love it. It's not fine. I'm not fine. I'm fucking Pierce. I'm fucking Pierce. Ernie Moreska. There you go.

Couldn't have told you. It's a classic song. It's been used on ad campaigns here. Maybe pizza shapes. Anyway. Out of guess. Just. Pizza's pizza.

Not shapes in general. It might have been shapes in general. Let me just say this. If any, if any flavour of shapes doesn't need an ad campaign, it's pizza shapes. Oh, pizza, they're fantastic. Yeah, they're the best. They're my number one. Default.

For me. Ah, interesting. No, barbecue. Oh, you bitch. That's the vanilla rush. You bitch. Or cheese. Love the cheese ones.

Yeah, cheddar. Yeah, the little dusty. thing of whatever that is. Chicken crumpy, that's not cheese, that's chicken. Yeah. You fucking idiot. I literally said it. It's a yellow box. Cheddar. I said it. I know. I'm just really sorry.

I'm not sorry for calling you a bit of barbecue. But still, Mr. Wanderer, I've been around around around. That's right. Paul Jacobs asks a question. Oh, we've had a more. We've collected them all. We've had a factor quote now a question in that order. Hell yeah. That's never happened before, I don't think. Naomi.

We've done a man. Can you believe it? You were here for that? Yes. Never forget. Never forget. Paul, let's get merch made about it. Paul asks, as my family gets ready for our move to Chapel Hill, North Carolina, quick fun fact, their fire engines are blue.

He says, moving sucks, but he also says, if you guys had to leave the Greater Melbourne area, where would you all land? If you had to leave the Greater Melbourne area, where would you move to? I will retire to the seaside. You have seaside written all over you Don't I? Yeah Walking along a beach

Like a Victorian No, too cold New South Wales coast Oh that's nice Really, yeah I don't think you could handle the Bogan's Up north Oh yeah

As in Can't go Queensland Yeah Yeah so I gotta go to go New South Wales Makes sense Yeah you could live on Bondi Oh not even Like a Coffs Harbour kind of place

Oh okay Yeah I'll cry it Yeah I want to be near the big banana That reminds me. You've got to release that bonus episode. Yeah. About big things. It's coming out.

Thank you. You're welcome. Oh, that's already, by the time this is out, one of our Patreon bonus episodes, Matt did the history of big things. Your big banana. You big pineapple. The big dinosaur, controversially. What was his name? Stumpy or something?

Dippy. Dippy. Dippy. Oh. They had to move it. I had to move him. I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

I know. It's crazy. You'll have to listen to find out the rest. So, what about you, Naomi? Where would you move? If you had to leave Melbourne. If you had to for some sort of scandal The Greater Melbourne area

Yeah I mean my family lives in regional Victoria I'd probably go there Tree change I'm not a sea change kind of girl I'm fresh water to tree change Yeah Maybe yeah

Up in the north-east Somewhere in the Alpine region of Victoria might go I thought it's a good place to hide out Yeah that's why I assume That's why I have to move Yeah Simply must And David

I'm gonna go Hollywood on the Gold Coast You know it. I'm going to go to Iceland. Really? Langelo and Iceland. Ours all feel real boring all of a sudden. Well, yeah, have you been other places?

I don't know. I would consider living in L.A. for a while because I went there recently. Not that recently, obviously. Two years ago, that's recent now. Yeah. And it was lovely, but it was also insane. Yeah. So you're like, this is amazing.

The weather's nice. Everyone has a dog. It's so sweet. Oh, no, everyone's crazy. No one has. has any help. I don't know why I didn't even think of that as an option. Yeah, America would be great.

There's so many, I'd love to move to Gary, Indiana, probably. That's the place I'd go. Motor Capital, baby. Oh, nice. Where's the one with the ice creams? Oh, Vermont. Yeah. Home of the Creamies.

Oh, creamies. Creamy. I always think it's whoopies. Because when you eat it creamy, you think, whoopie. Oh, shut up. God, I'm lucky to be in the greatest state. Oh, whoopee. Yeah, so, geez, I hope we can, so we've been talking to our American listeners,

we've been talking to our American tour guy, and he's feeling confident that maybe, I think he's feeling more confident than we are, but he's thinking like we might be able to make something up and, what was he saying, early next year? That feels confident. Yeah, I love it. I mean, that'll be vaccinated by then. Well, hopefully we will too. But in the meantime, you can get a taste of Matt and Jess on your screens on next.

Netflix right now. Watch why you like this. I'm also in it. Dave, again, cut from... We had to do a lot of reshoots, actually. Too hot. To get rid of the hung. The Schneider cut.

Yeah, it's the Snyder cut. It's six episodes, somehow half the length of that movie still. Amazingly, the only difference was I was cut. Yeah. That is the Snyder cut. Schneider hated you. Yeah. Or you found you too hot.

Always my second favorite, Snigieg. of that guy, Rob Snyder for life. I thought you're going to be, I think you're talking about the old Saints player. No, he's number three. Number three, top three. Don't know, I can't remember his name, but top three. And finally for the fact quote of question this week,

this one comes from Drew Foresberg, whose title is the dreaded rear admiral. That's a great Simpson's reference. What episode? Oh God, who could say You? You? No, who can say the episode?

No, but who says it? What's the joke? Bart's talking about he get wet willie or the dreaded rear admiral. It's like some sort of like a wet willy up the ass. A prank. Schoolyard prank. Hazing. What does it mean?

That's funny. Drew's also got a quote. His quote is, we're going to be out of the butt and into the fuck if we don't come up with that $36 Tarets guy. The video of this guy

and is extremely nuanced, sensitive and realistic portrayal of Tourette's syndrome are my proof that poetry and cussing can be the same thing. We're gonna be out of the butt and into the fuck

if we don't come up with that $36. We're gonna be out of the butt. My brain's not working on. I don't know what's going on. Do you think the fact that your brain's not working on? I don't have anything to do

with the fact that's 11, 20 PM, on a Sunday. This is early for us. This is early for us. Is it actually? No. It's because Dave, Dave works full time.

Do you have work tomorrow, Dave? Yes, I do. You guys are freaking crazy. I'll be there. I'll be there that job. You'll be listening, boss. They're listening now. If I could finish off with my own quote,

it was actually Mill House saying to Bart on a treehouse of horror episode. No way, Bart. If I lean over, I leave myself open to wedgies, wet willies, or even the dreaded rear aden. Okay, there we go. That's funny because you know it's the butt. Yeah, what could it mean?

It's got to be the butt. People also ask, what does Rear Admiral mean? Let's give me a definition of Rear Admiral in the Navy. Please, do go on. Thank you so much to Drew, and his quote from Tourette's guy off, I think it's off YouTube. There must be a channel on there. Thank you, Drew. And the other thing we like to do.

Really great contribution, Drew. Oh, come on. And the other thing we like to do. We love you, Drew. Drew, long-term support of the show. Don't listen to Naomi. I said it was good. It was confusing.

Without the context, it's a little confusing. You can cut this. We won't be cutting this. This has got the feel of an episode that we'll have no editing at all, to be honest. That's the snobler cut. We also like to thank a few of our other supporters. My God. Jess normally comes up with a game for this.

You still want to hang around? I'm her ride home. Well, Jess is giving me a lift home because I totaled my car. So she's hanging around. Oh, baby. I have thought of it. So a famous person that their machine is named after. Oh, you're great.

And what their machine does. Great. Fantastic. Well, if I can kick it off, we do three each here, you know, if I could kick it off from Mannington in West Virginia, in the US, it's Chelsea Russell. Chelsea Russell's machine is called the Madonna, and it tests four virgins.

That's very funny. That's great. That's so funny. Do you have experience with this, Jess? No, I don't. I've heard about it. So it's a small pinprick, takes a blood, and then it says either virgin or not virgin.

Yeah. And why would someone need to test that themselves? just to prove to their bully colleagues said it's not a virgin but like it's kind of a good thing if you are a virgin that's when it sings like a virgin and that's fun because it can't it feels like this could be misused

okay I didn't invent the machine Chelsea did fortunately like the Edison it does not work it just takes a stab it's like one of those like love testing machines it's like a 50-50 thing anyway that's fine I reckon, yeah, I'm feeling virgin, I reckon, maybe.

Thank you so much to Chelsea. Naomi, maybe you want to come up with one for this next one. From Spalding in England, Great Britain, it's Tara Alexander. Tara Alexander, of course, invented the Paris Hilton. Yes. Oh. Which, of course, tests for... It doesn't test.

It is a... You didn't say test, did you? Who cares? Oh, no, I said, what does the machine do? Yeah, you're right. Yeah, I just want to know I got it right. It's really important. It detects when cameras are on you, when you're being recorded.

And if so, it adds, it lowers, it, it, it ups the pitch of your voice and adds a vocal fry and also makes you sound stupider. But only when cameras are on. I love that. Yeah, see? So yeah, I started filming. Yeah. Have you heard Barras Hilton? Yeah.

When she's not talking like that? Yeah, she sounds like a normal. She sounds like Elizabeth Holmes, but not pushing it. Wow, I had no idea that she... She's a much deeper voice and like no vocal fry. Oh, she... Why, how did that come out? Has that changed recently or...

She did it. A documentary came out. Yeah. About her, but that's just like, that's basically a character. Really? How funny. That's cool. She knows branding.

Yep. That's amazing. Thank you so much to Tara. And finally for me, I'd love to thank from Quebec in Canada. Alexander Savard. Alexander Savard. It's Alexandra

Dre with an E at the end? How would you say that? Alexandria. Alexander. That's Alexander. Like Mata 10. I don't know why that's the one

that came into my mind. 10 out of 10. Every time. Savard, inventor of the Cruz. Okay. And then after Tom Cruise. Oh, not Terry Cruz.

No, that's a separate spelling. And machine. This Cruz, it calculates the success of unnecessary stunts.

Okay. You'll be pulling off. Right. It's a real bean you're born at about Tom Cruise and how he can act and do stunts. And you hate it.

Basically, Naomi. You are looking at, you look distressed right now. The look in your eyes when you were like, I have to, Naomi has to know. Now the problem there Matt is

he can do stunts, yes, but can he act? Yes, of course he can. Didn't they have to stop filming one of the films because he got injured? Yeah, he broke a foot. In Mission Impossible Six or something. He broke our foot. If they'd broken the foot of a stuntman,

also probably the stuntman wouldn't have broken their foot. Honestly, I feel like... He should just get stuntman like every other person. He's actually putting someone out of a job. Yes. But then what are they... Also, he's really high up in Scientology, which is evil. But he's getting these stuntmen out of a job.

Yeah, you're taking down Scientology? Who's next? Who's next, Hitler? I'll badmouth anyone. Well, that's me. Do you want to thank a few of our great supporters, Bopar? Yes, I would love to thank. From Canterbury in New Zealand, I would love to thank Mitchell Simpson.

The Walt Disney Machine. It freezes you. Okay. Until you can be reanimated, which is a thing that never happened to him, but I think maybe... Not yet. Not yet. Because, yeah, they're going to try and reanimate him, but he's pretty badly decayed by this stage. So sad, because he's like the king of animation.

Exactly. It's really sad. The only thing he couldn't animate. It's his own head. So sad, isn't it? Yeah. And that's so sad? It's so sad.

So sad. That's actually really bummed me out. I would also love to thank you. you to Mitchell, I would love to thank I've got a pronunciation of this in my head and now I'm reading it and I think I'm wrong. No, you've corrected me on this before, I reckon.

Have I? Haven't you? I don't know. Feels like something that might have happened. Because it's spelled like Indurapilli. Yes. But I always thought, and now I can't remember how I thought it was. I thought it was like in Drupoli, but that's not right either.

Yeah. Anyway, it's in Queensland here in Australia. Induripoli. It's pronounced Smith. I'd love to thank Joshua Harper. Oh, Joshua Harper. Josh, it is late and my brain's broken. What about inventor of the Leonardo DiCaprio,

which is a type of small pizza oven. Oh, wait. Fun, I forget he's Italian. It's a small oven or... Indirapin. Indurapilly. Induripilli. Indurapilly.

Indurapilly. Indurapin. I love that. It's spoken with an English accent. I do need to clarify, it's an oven for small pizzas. Like a tiny pizzas. Like the size of like your thumbnail.

Oh, it also does American. It also does American pronunciation. Indrapilly. Indrapilly. Indrapilly. Indrappilly. Indrappilly. Fogne out.

I love it. They're both wrong. Does not do an Australian though. Finally for me, I would love to thank from Cardiff in Wales. A name I assume is pronounced. It's pronounced differently in Welsh, but it reads like Theran Smith. Well, you do a Smith. Theran Smith.

Name you go on for Theran? Yeah, the Seer. The Seer. And what does the Seer do? Automates just terrible tweets to ruin your life. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they haven't sold a lot of them. What are I was going to say, who's buying this machine?

No one, it turns out. Ferrin's an idiot. What were you thinking? All their Stanford money too. I guess I'm going to have to cancel my order then. I felt like a good idea on Saturday night. 3 a.m. Well, one of those late night drunk purchases.

You don't remember it comes in the mail and you go, what? How about you, Dave? I want to thank a few. I'd love to thank from St. Louis, Misery, Aaron Weiss. Aaron Weiss. is the the Kira Knightley machine. Oh yeah, great.

What would that do? Something about Kira Knightley. It automatically sends in an application for any film that is like a period film where you wear corsets. And it just sends in your resume. That's why her name came to mind

because I was on TV the other night it was a movie she was in it was a period movie yeah of course it was set in France and she was probably she was wearing a

Corset was a bloody was Corset Were you done a little pun there Corset was No I wasn't but yeah I'd say I was That's great stuff

There's a good one I would also love to thank from London Jessica Tanna London Town London Town She invented the Eva Mendes

machine. The Eva Mendes machine. Now what does that do? Unrelated to the actor. Okay. Iver Mendes. The Iva Mendes machine quite dull

just kind of measures weather patterns. You know? And it's like Iva Mendes, beautiful, talented, charming. Ooh, bit of a cold front coming through. Yeah. Thanks, Eva Mendes machine.

Okay. Also, it doesn't work. It's wrong. It's not very good. It is wrong. It's always like, sunny in a top of 24, and it's like a blizzard. I'm looking at hail, mate. Yeah, come on.

Why do I even check the Eva Mendez machine? I would like to think now also from the state of H.I. In the United States. Hawaii. Hawaii. Yeah, the only H state. And the city is Malani or Mililani. I would like to thank Zach Taniguchi.

Zach Taniguchi is a fucking great name. Taniguchi. It's a great name. What about the Salick machine? The Tom Selik, is it? Yes, and basically it takes a photo of your face and shows you what you look like if you had a great mustache. So it's like a filter. filter that it's already available.

And it costs $86 million. It's a size of a photocopy. What do you think you look like with a Selik? And it also tells you whether you're hot or not. That's what no app will do. But this one, it will say, eh, not or bing, bing, bing, bing. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. Accurate.

Very accurate. What would it say for you, Dave? Hot, hot, hot, hot. I would love a listener to put together a, put together a Dave with Cellic mustache and the words hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. They can do that for the low low low price of $86 million.

Is that all about... Thank you so much, Zach. That's lovely. Thanks so much for all those great supporters, Zach, Jessica, Aaron Theron, Joshua, Mitchell, Alexandra, Tara and Chelsea. You have so many nice listeners.

So many levels. They are very lovely. And one terrible one. We shan't name. We shan't ever name. But everyone else is really great. I'll say it. DM me.

I'll tell you who they're talking about. I'll get it out of them. And the last thing we're going to do before we wrap it up is thank a few of our supporters have been on board for three years straight. And they enter the Triptage Club. Naomi, I did. I keep saying you can tag out at any time. You think I'm going to walk home?

So the way this works, maybe name. Amy can play one of the roles. Naomi can maybe pick the band this week, Dave. You're willing to. I'd love that. What, do you do a little theatre performance at the age? Yeah. Good Lord.

We're welcoming some new members into the Triptage Club. I'm there on the door. I've got the guest list. So I lift up the velvet rope and bring them in. Then Dave normally gives them a little hype up. And then Jess hypes Dave up. Dave also normally books a band to play the welcome party. Who have you booked this week, Naomi?

Any band. I have not absorbed. Short stack. Short stack. The pop punk band is it? Awesome. And Jess normally comes up with an hors d'oeuvre and some sort of canopae

cocktail combo that's often vaguely related to the topic. Yes, we've got espresso martinis because they are black and she wore black turtle legs. And also, well they're kind of brown, but yeah, also a little... Okay, but it's like a very dark brown.

So you look like. like an idiot right now. Wait, are the turtlenecks or the espresso martins? I mean, it's coffee. Black coffee. All right, I take it back. I'm really sorry. Thank you.

And also, uh, cuisosos in the shape of turtles. Oh, I like that. All right. All right. Well, let me bring, uh, these members in. You're going to be really impressed for how Dave hipes them up. Okay. It's very good.

Great. If you can hype up, Jess, after she helps me up. Okay. He just takes one small bit of the information and he turns that into a real. A way to really make them feel good about themselves. As we welcome them in. How many we got? We've got four in tonight.

Easy. You got this. Fuck yeah. Thank you. All right. Good work, Jess. Woman. She's doing great.

Thanks. First up from Belfast in Northern Ireland. It is Seamus Duffy. Oh, oh, oh, we ain't got no Duffy. Ring that Belfast. I know I often don't understand what it means. That's a good woo. Yeah.

Next up. Great wait, man. You're doing great. It's a real circle. Yeah. Where from where? Newton and I think Iowa, IA. I'm going to say Iowa.

From Newton in Iowa, the United States is Julie Bay. Bay of plenty. Yeah. Yeah. Plenty of Bay. Yes. Bay of plenty in brackets the best place in the world. From Livermore in Canada, it's Anthony.

it's Anthony Castro. If you didn't come, I wouldn't ever live more. I wouldn't live no more. Some of that. Yes. Thank you. Good clapping. And finally, from Nari Warren South in Victoria, Australia.

It is Matty Ray. A ray of Sanchez. And that wraps up. The Tripditch Club. Hang around. Let's listen to what short stack has to play. What kind of hits are they playing tonight, Naomi? Every song that I remember from when I was in love with them when I was in high school.

So that song, Princess, you remember that one? Great track. Great track. Princess, why I am so content. And that is it. Yeah. It's the only song I remember. It might be one more than I remember.

But looking forward to getting involved in that, having a few assessments. espresso martinis. Thanks so much everyone for joining us. Thanks so much Naomi, especially why you like this. This is a question I often want to ask you, but it's also, is that the name of your show? Why are you like this? Yes. Because I've heard some people saying it's why am I like this.

No. That's not correct. That's what self-centered people would say, which honestly are our target demo. So if you are full of yourself, you are going to love this show. Who's going to love it like in general? Who's your key demo there? Youths. Youths.

Well, we said it's for people in their 20s, and then it's also for teenagers who are already depressed. Oh, no. They're cynical early, which is a lot of them, to be fair. Yeah. Not a lot of hope out there these days. Sounds really changing. It's very nihilistic, but, you know, it's nihilistic and like,

woo! In a fun way. Yeah. And I held a dog. And just got to hold a pug. Was the pug? That wasn't. Danny

Luke What was the Larry fucking hell Alright And I worked out For five years For my role

Only to get cut So It's worth it But you are still Looking cut Thank you Still got huge Abba

Huge All right Anything else you want to tell us Naomi before Dave boots this home Um You can follow me on social As I also

Twitch stream So if you're into that Come on over Put a link in the show notes Probably if you remind us to It's a real punish. People get really upset. At the moment, I'm doing this, like, tournament of all of Matthew Morrison's songs in Glee,

because he's widely regarded as the worst character. Yeah, he sucks. So we vote on them based on how much undulating is in it, you know, how cool, how much swagger he has. It's really fun. And then what do you sing them? No, just watch along and vote on them, try to find the best one. You know, I have fingers crossed for when he did blurred lines with all the students. Oh, yeah.

Oh, he was the teacher. Yes, yeah. Okay. Oh, dear. One of the other things that we vote on is how inappropriate it is. That'll get you some points. And there's a lot. It's really upsetting.

So come on over. Go get upset with Naomi on Twitch. Wait, Jess, should we tell them where they can find us quickly? Do go on pod. That's right. That's on everything. You sound like you are. falling asleep.

All together. Now, Dave, please, I've had a great time, but Dave, bring it on home. Naomi, thank you so much for joining us again. Of course. If people want more of you, check out your show, but also you've done previous reports on Rihanna and The Room. Yes. Great episodes, great topics.

And the room. And the room. Not Rihanna, but the other two, really, I have a common theme of people who shoot for the stars and miss. But Rihanna, Rihanna made it. So there's hope. There is hope. Thanks for joining us, everyone at home.

We appreciate you listening in, getting contact, as we said, do go on pod.com for all the links. But until next week, I'll say thank you so much. And goodbye. Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester.

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