Two In The Think Tank - 301 - History's Silliest Duels

Episode Date: July 28, 2021

I demand satisfaction, and challenge you to listen to this episode! U.S. Presidents, U.K. Prime Ministers, artists, writers and a man who liked to get naked have all been challenged to duels. Whether their choice of weapon was a hot air balloon or a set of billiard balls, this episode is dedicated to history's silliest duels.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodWatch our 300th episode recorded live at Stupid Old Studios (with an extra quiz, and also 16 other episodes with bonus content): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoonGet a ticket to our show at the Great Australian Podcast Festival on Nov 6: https://www.livenation.com.au/greataustralianpodcastfestivalFor tickets to Matt's Live Taping at Stupid Old Studios: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/ Buy tickets for our screening of The Mummy on September 10: https://www.lidocinemas.com.au/mummy Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Check out Matt’s Beer show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej4TUguJL58 Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long-term solution,

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in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. Hello and welcome to another episode of Doo Go On. My name is Dave Warnke and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello Dave. Oh big, big inhale. I'm just gonna exhale. The whole episode. One big exhale. I challenge you. Oh now that made me need to yawn. I took too much air in. Anyway, hello.

And I'm running at a deficit because I breathed out without breathing in. Oh no, we've really started a weird place. And I am, he's going to catch up. And he cups moments before we hit record. Yeah. Who knows where I'm at? God, where I'm mess. Why do you people listen to this?

He's rubbish! Why do you people listen to this? Is rubbish? I'm sorry, unprofessional fools. Well, before we get to our usual rubbish, we've got to tell you that we've got some shows coming up. We are doing our screening of the mummy in Melbourne, the Lido cinemas on Friday, September the 10th. Only very small amount of tickets available. We'd love to, of course, show them to you and then talk about them to you in podcast form.

Have we got our tickets yet? I don't want to miss out. Oh my God. Oh no. Somebody who said they were going to book them? Dave, you said you were going to get them. We'll end up sitting next to the projectionist, which is actually pretty cool. That's sick actually.

Yeah. And we're also being a part of the Great Australian Podcast Festival and that is a big Saturday night show. Saturday, November the 8th at the Fantastic Palais Theatre. Oh, so good. Hallowed ground. And even sooner than that, tomorrow, I feel listening to this podcast live. On the 29th of July, I'm taping a stand-up show at the Strip of the Dill Shears at this very building.

Dave's gonna be there. I'll be there, just putting the calendar. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. And I'm putting it in right now. You get tickets via MattSJewetComedy.com and it'll be so good to see you there. What a pleasure it would be.

Honestly, a big, big pleasure. You get to sit next to me, maybe. Maybe two of you will get that privilege. Yeah, and then... And then... And then... And then... And then...

And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... And then... I'm also coming to Perth to a show next month, I believe. I should check that, but I mean, you can.

The details are at mattschewacomedy.com. And use the discount code for both of those, do go on. I might be there as well. Yeah, come with. No promises. We'll go get ice cream after. All right, I actually am looking forward to it now. You guys.

That's gonna be great fun. I look forward to just having the house to myself. Well, we're away from a man, Sean. Well, we've got a record and episode now with Jess. What does that mean we're going to do? That means we're going to turn on the microphones, sit in front of them, pop on our headphones, and have a little bit of a chat. And what I mean by that is that one of the three of us has gone away.

Research to topic often suggested by a listener, they bring that research back to the other two, who listen but often interrupt with quips and witty commentary. Or sometimes say, sorry, I wasn't listening. And this week. I never apologized. But. And this week it is Dave's turn to our report on a topic and Dave, we usually start with a question. 300 and one episodes in White, Right, With Tradition.

Here is a question and that is. Here is a riddle. Let's do for the next 300, really complex puzzles. We can never get to the top. But I will get very frustrated by it. If you don't get it, I'm just not going to read this before. We just have to go home and put it in. Put it in the bin.

My question is, if I demanded satisfaction from you, what would I be challenging you to? And you? It is a duel. That's exciting. This was, when you were talking riddles and so forth, maybe hypotenuse. Would I be challenging you? And it is a duel. That's exciting. This one is when you were talking readers and some of them, maybe hypotenuse. Is that something?

Some of all sides? Yeah. Triangles. Some of them are that? Yes. I was really looking forward to a hypotenuse podcast, but a duel, I'm even more intrigued by it. You'll take a duel.

This week's topic is simply, history's silliest jewels. Oh, that's great. Voter 4 by Sydney Shineberg level Patreon supporters. And often we find it's very close up at the top. You have two options that get a very similar amount. Often one or two votes separates it. Not this case, this was an absolute landslide, 180% off the top. You have two options that get a very similar amount, often one or two votes separates it. Not this case, this was an absolute landslide, 180% off the top.

Whoa, I mean, jewels just as a concept are pretty silly. Yeah. So the silliest ones, I think we're going to have a bit of fun today. I guess my question to you is, have either of you ever fought a duel? Like a like pistols of dawn sort of fun today. I guess my question to you is have either of you ever fought a duel? Um. Like a like pistols of dawn sort of a duel? No. No, not that kind of duel.

But it sounds like there might be a type of duel that you have for. I've actually had a fist fight with a singer duel and um if so in that way I did fight a duel and well I mean she fought me was pretty embarrassing. I got absolutely slaughtered. And I had a falling out with an emerald. Man, I'm so glad you made that reference because this is the opening line of my report and we are on the exact same level. This house is gonna start.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines dual as a 90s American singer songwriter with an obsession with her hands being Same level 300 300 weeks in this in this small room together, but have you referenced emerald's at all Yes, the next reference is an emerald is defined No, the next ends is a duel is defined as an arranged engagement and combat between two people with matched weapons in accordance with agreed upon rules. Okay.

Starting in the Middle Ages, European nobles had defended their honour in man-to-man battles. An early version of dueling was known as judicial combat, which was named so because God allegedly judged the man in the right and let him win. Oh, that makes sense. So yeah, God gave him a faster hand. Yeah. Or whatever. Was it always guns?

No. Fencing? It did start with swords. At first, the jewels were fought with swords, but then pistols became the weapon of choice for most jewels, which meant from that point on, they became... Oh, what a pain or a foot of being in in the crossover period you're still bringing knives to gunfire that's probably where the saying came from. Probably yeah.

Don't do it. Early jewels. Never bring a gun to a gunfire. Don't do it. You look like an idiot. What did it say the right thing then? I think so. I gave you a right.

Yeah I think so. To me it's not like you said never bring a dump to a dump. Yeah, I thought a mud To me, as I'm like, you said, never bring a dump to a dump, but... I thought I might have said something about that. We check the tape. We don't have time. They're simply no time. Jules were also seen as a good way to stop people from killing each other in the heat of passion.

Amazingly, it was seen as the sensible alternative. Because it meant that you had to walk away. Think about it. Come back. Ten paces. Yeah, yeah 10 Paces is a is a you know, it's a decent amount of thinking You get to 10 basically turn around and go actually yeah, you know You know what I think you're Um, I'm sorry

So despite it being seen as things were said, Well, now you shot me, I'm pissed off. So I've seen as the sensible alternative, but despite this numerous authorities including heads of state and the Catholic church, banned Julling, often with very little effect, arrests were infrequent judges and juries were loath to convict. The only Julling I like to do is banjos. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding Never bring a banjo to a gun fight. It wasn't just a complete free for all. In 1777, a group of Irishmen codified jubling practices in a document called the Code

Duallo. This document contained 26 specific rules outlining all aspects of the duel. And just to give you an example of the language, because it is quite complex. Rule 5 is, as a blow is strictly prohibited under any circumstances among gentlemen, no verbal apology can be received for such an insult. The alternatives, therefore, the offender handing a cane to the injured party to be used on his own back at the same time begging pardon, firing on until one or both were disabled or exchanging three shots and then asking pardon without proper of the cane.

So you really, you can't talk it out. No, so if you punch someone, you can't be like, hey, I'm really sorry. You either bend over and give them a cane or you say, all right, you shoot me, then I'll shoot you, then I'll apologize. Okay, that is complicated. So wait, so if you hit first and then you actually feel bad about that, you have to let them hit you with a cane or shoot you with a cane. Okay. If swords are used, the party is engaged until one is well-blooded, disabled or disarmed or until after a seven wound and blood being drawn, the aggressor begs pardon. Okay. Rule number 10 was any insult to a lady under a gentleman's care or protection to be considered

as by one degree, a greater offense than if given to the gentleman personally, to be regulated accordingly. I agree with that. Shivalry. As a feminist of the pot, after a great, you should not be speaking like that to a lady in my care. That's a very feminist approach to me, and it's very brave. Thank you for sharing.

And thank you for caring for me. Am I a lady in your care? Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Is David a lady in your care? No. Oh, that's nice. Is David a lady in your care? No. What? Who's looking after me?

I don't know. Not my problem. It's not me. It's not me. Okay, so some sort. As a woman, I cannot stand by while a little boy gets pissed. So if someone barks at the tension you are in my care. Right.

Russian dolls. I'm in your ladies' care. You're in the care of my lady. We are essentially your parents. Thank you. As long as someone's protecting me out there on those streets, so if someone is rude to me, I'll say, well, I'm going to call my mom.

She's going to call her husband. Who will demand, satisfy you? How do you like that? Who's looking after Matt? Dave? Who are you looking after? Oh, okay. I'm going to look after my dad.

You can see why there's 20 something rules. Oh yeah, it's very complex. Now to Deloap, which is French for throwing away, is the practice of throwing away one's fire in a pistol duel and attempt to abort conflict, often people fight into the air or into the ground or on purpose. It's like a white flag, kind of. Yeah, before I...

Yeah. The Irish code to LLW, however, for Bids this practice. Rule number 13, no dumb shooting or firing in the air is admissible in any case. Right. Okay. So it's quite a complicated set of rules, but basically, I outlined stuff like the time of day during which challenges could be received to the number of shots or wounds required for satisfaction or honor.

Okay. It was like a system. Got them in the arm. That's a little bit of honor. Got them in both legs. Hello. Hello. You're honor.

Hello. I'm honor. I'm honor. Because it was about satisfaction all linked back to defending your honor, it wasn't always about killing your opponent. But usually about restoring one's honor by demonstrating a willingness to risk one's life for it. So that's why fire into the air, often they'd both fire into the air and say, look, I showed up. I was prepared to die for this bullshit. I'm brave, I held a gun. Very brave man.

So there in the end it's all about getting satisfaction. His Mick Jagger was a bad jewelist, wasn't he? He can't get, no. Can't get, no. He tried. Mick. Man he tried. Yeah, he kept shooting, but Mick's in Keith.

He kicked me. He left and started ineffective on Keith. Nothing will kill Keith. The Irish code was generally also followed in England and Europe with some slight variations. So it was quite an influential dueling document. In a typical duel each party acted through a person known as their second. The second's duty above all was to try to reconcile the parties without violence. An offended party sent a challenge through his second. So I get...

So St Hamilton. Yes. Exactly the whole song about this crap. I don't remember that. Do you guys remember the one time we saw it? Or have you seen it more than one? I've watched it since. Okay.

I've listened to the soundtrack. Oh right. Yeah. Because I mean, how do you keep it all in? You can't. So much happened. No, you can't, yeah. Because I mean, how do you keep it all in? You can't. So much happen. No, you can't keep it in. I mean, and I really enjoy Hamilton, but one of the songs I just like is the one about Julling because it's very

musical-esque. Oh, OK. There's like, they say, meet me outside, and then the whole chorus goes, meet him outside, meet him outside. And I'm just cringing my chair. Yeah, the cringiest, maybe the funniest of musicals, is Fart Stuff, low clicks. Yeah.

Yeah. Matt doing some great choreography. Yeah, some good low clicks. That's sort of that, getting low to the ground, sort of creeping along with the low click. And you never do these things in high school, because you are lailing the low click and the shoulder. Oh my god. Yeah, I watch beat at the film clip a few times and maybe Rosanna by Toto. That's another great sort of musical street tough scene. So, Jules of this kind really took off in Europe in the 17th and 18th centuries, according

to the Smithsonian, during the reign of King George III, which is 1760 to 1820, there were 172 known Jules in England, and also very likely many more that were secret, resulting in 69 recorded. No, no. Fatalities. I have to try. I have a feeling that's where it was going, but thank you for still pause.

I definitely paused, hoping you'd say it. Nice, dead people. Oh, yeah. In the US, the first recorded duel took place in 1621, just a year after the pilgrims arrived at Plymouth. It was fought between two servants, which is also notable because it was usually quote, gentle man who jealed.

Let's say, in a gentleman. Never shit. But they do jeal. They do jeal, okay? They do jeal. So even if you get shot in the abdomen and you die, you don't shit yourself. No. Okay. That's crazy, you don't shit yourself. No.

Okay. That's crazy, yeah. Wow. But if you're a gentleman, if you do shit, you get a much worse burial. All of a sudden you're thrown in a hole. Yeah. But if you hold your bells, you will get a gentleman's send off.

And if you're a gentleman and you're giving birth, you do not shit yourself. No. Gentlemen never gives birth while she's eating himself. They'll do one giving birth. Yes. Bit or net, bit or bit. Never.

Never. She's eating himself. It's amazing actually, yeah. Yeah. So the concept in America really took off around the time of the Civil War and was especially common in the South where a gentleman's sense of personal honor was taken especially seriously. Again, from the Smithsonian quote,

to the touchiest among them, virtually any annoyance could be construed as grounds for immediate gunpoint. And though laws against Julling were passed in several southern states, the statutes were ineffective. Had they discovered wanking yet? Feels like some people need to let off some stain, you know? Ah, you looked at me wrong. I'll go kill you! Get over it. Go have a wank, you'll be right. I just came back from doing what you said I should do and you were right. This is awesome. you do and you're right. This is awesome. You never want to cheat anyone again. With a gun.

Gizzing it dawn. Which is a dawn. I demand satisfaction. 10 paces. Jesus, you're confident. In these southern states avoiding a challenge wasn't easy, particularly in the south, where men who refused the jewel would be posted, which is a statement accusing them of cowardice which would be hung in public areas or published in a newspaper or pamphlet. Toxic masculinity was in newspapers and pamphlets back then. Imagine that. Wow. Check out my masculine pamphlet. Between 1750 and 1850 many men owned dueling pistols just in case they needed them. A specific dueling piss. Yeah. It's different. It's a different kind of pistol. Yeah, typical weapons were large caliber, smooth flint lock pistols. Oh you are turning me

on. I didn't understand any of that but it sounded sexy. It's just sound hot. Yeah. It's all of those long thin very sleek silver looking ones are the, you know. Yeah I can picture them. For special occasions they've been shined up in a special box and it turned out many people did need them. Sadly they often misfired and had terrible accuracy. Was that all part of it? They didn't really want people to die. As soon as they brought out the sniper rifle, you're like, whoa, whoa, what?

What are you doing? It's not a disease. You never said what type of gun. I'm going to tag. Yeah, he was holding a thing in his hand. He's like, what's that? Well, I'm just going to call, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah opens the suitcase and you just type it into a laptop All right, so you're standing in 15 seconds So they're terrible accuracy these things in 1836 congressman Daniel Jennifer of Maryland and just I thought that was his middle lane I was like that's great. That's his last name. Okay And Jesse a binaom of North Carolina.

Ah, fun fact about North Carolina. Their fire engines actually blew. What most of them will be red. They're good. Yeah, they're in blue. I guess more like the color of water. That actually does look a bit more sexy. That was fun.

Maybe red's actually a bit of a slap in the face. Yeah. For people who are, you know, their houses are burning down. And then a big red truck turns up. And the guys are all in yellow and orange. Yeah. How about some soothing blues? What dicks? Yeah.

Let's have some wet colors. Yeah. Bring on those wet colors. Serve me. You've got all these hot colors. Give us some wet ones. Give me some wet colors, would you? Are they cool colors?

Wet colors. Wet colors. You were right the first cool colors? Wet colors. Wet colors. You were right the first time. Never doubt yourself. Wet colors only, please. Anyway, North Carolina. That was a fun fact. And Congressman Daniel Jennifer thought this guy from North Carolina, in a duel in Maryland,

where they reportedly stood 10 feet apart, fired six times a piece, and completely missed each other with every shot. Beautiful. They decided to call it a draw. Well, I mean, God didn't want either of them to die. Exactly. Is that kind of what they would think? Or we'd pass that time, yeah.

Yeah, I guess they all you like. I only bought six bullets. I mean, we've got to go to the shop. Yeah. Come back. We're supposed to do this usually at dawn. We'll have to wait till tomorrow. Yeah.

Shop's done open till nine. wait, it's Sunday 10 oh Yeah, it's bloody shop keeps love they're sleeping obviously you know Sunday They're penalty rates for the staff. That's why I have to bang for long as you know, but not he's good at the staff do make a little bit more Obviously because they do have to work on a weekend, but Yeah, anyway, so don't have to work on a weekend. But yeah, anyway, so don't have time to wait around, go get more. I just call it a day. I was just thinking, how good's living? Yeah.

Why don't we both just keep doing that? We're both going to die of typhoid or something. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't we go have brunch and rip up these pamphlets with each other's face, isn't them? Yeah. I don't need no cues you've done that. So the accuracy, or I should say, terrible accuracy and unreliability of the weapons meant that the chance of dying from a jewel was actually slim. It's certainly not impossible. No, nothing is. And a lot of famous people took part in jewels over the years, UK Prime Ministers, US Presidents, Corus Johnson.

He demands that this action, I go. part in Jules over the years UK Prime Ministers, US Presidents, Corridors Johnson. He demands that this action they go. Congressman, senators, newspaper editors, prominent artists and writers all defended their honor in this way. Some of them paid the ultimate price. How much? Like $50? $60.

Get enough fuck out. Wow. Crazy. So the very concept sounds that right, does it almost unthinkable to our modern culture demands. But I'm going to go through some of history's silliest and most unusual jewels that really take it to the next level. And we start in France during the Restoration period in the early 19th century, according

to cracked.com. Oh, that's like a comedy website, don't you? Love cracks. With more ads than I've ever seen on a website. Every third sentence, it's like, continue scrolling for more. Have you like scroll through an hour? You really persevered.

Yeah, there was about 15 lines on there and it took me an hour to read. Thank you for doing that for us. A lot of scrolling, but according to cracked.com, there was about 15 lines on there and it took me an hour to read. Thank you for doing that for us. Not a scrolling, but according to Crack.com there was a bit of tension between offices in Napoleon's Army and the better paid Royal Guard. An incident occurred between a Colonel named Bavier Duphai and a young Royal Guard named Rahul. Rahul was offended by something that the Colonel said about his outfit and challenged him to a duel. Ooh. And now, quiteing from a book called The Romance of Jouling in All Times and Countries, volume 2.

Oh, love that. Seek all better than the first. The Colonel asked him, Alright, what weapons, sir? Role replied, Any you please, rapier, sword or pistol? The Colonel responded, Oh, so you are equally skilled with all weapons. And Role said,

skill is not the word, but ignorance. For I have never handled any of them. I'm equally ignorant in all of them. I'm probably going to die with any of these, so you take your pick. Yeah, I'm easy. Can you remind me what a rapier is Dave? So I think it's a type's a type of sword very thin one I believe yeah, I think that sounds right. They use it. They mention it in whiskey in the jar Oh Pistol and produce my rapier and I never I always a shitting you know figured it was a weapon

I kind of thought it was a kind of gun, but it's kind of Is a sword often where they a sort of fencing type handle that you sort of grip. I'm looking up here, Slender and sharply pointed two-edge sword, popular in Western Europe. There you go. So he said, use that, use a bigger sword, use a pistol, couldn't care less about it.

Whatever, I don't know how to use any of them. Ha ha ha ha, it's really funny actually. All right. Upon hearing this and discovering that Raul, the guy challenging, was only 18 years old, the Colonel told him he wouldn't jewel him. Yeah, that was, it feels like, this doesn't feel right. Yeah, you were. Yeah, I was there.

Was that phrase never fight with a fool for people who probably won't know the difference? He's like, yeah, okay, you're a kid, don't worry about it. Right, was there a thing, it it's almost like suicide by Jewel? Yeah. And I don't want to do it myself. I'll ask a guy who does this for a living? He's a colonel. He's a colonel, so it's not.

He's an experienced soldier, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Not a piece of corn. Show me it's like a full, like a humanoid corn. Half man, half cob. Yeah. Cobb man. We don't remember the Cobb man.

I mean, you wouldn't give a shit if they used a rapier sort of pistol. I don't have any hair. He'd be like, yeah, go for it. I'd be killing that, I'd be killing that Cobb. Chop it open. Yeah, I'd have had my choice of weapon teeth. Yeah.

I would have. How about that? How about that? Have you got any? Nah, I'm coming at you. My choice of weapon? Bit of butter? Bit of salt. Yum yum.

Bit of pop. My choice of weapon? An oven. Get in. He fought with you. A bit of a time to get the other into an oven. That's a battle I have with my food every night. Yeah, it's like, hey, get in this oven.

No, you get in this oven. No. Oh, and they're throwing treats in there. Like getting a dog to do something. You throw some treats in there. Yeah, there's some, some spearmint leaves in there. Oh. Lollies. Yum yum.

You know the ones with the sugar on the outside? Bit of fun. I don't like spearmint. Mmm. Who doesn't like spearmint leaves? Shit. What a bestie. That's so good.

Strawberries and cream. Yeah, Jersey caramels. This little banana leaves that don't really taste like banana, but still quite nice. Apparently like the old kind of banana. Right. Wild, huh? What about these little little corn?

Oh, what's this? Baby corn, baby corn. I thought only kids in the oven better go get them. Better save the babies. I did, so you're trying to get them into an oven. There was one that I read about, but I couldn't quite get like proper information on that is referred to as the sac jewel,

where two people wanted to marry the same princess and then they decided to settle it by wrestling each other and the first one to get the other into a sac. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. Very funny. Yes, someone into a sac.

Yes, that's the first one. All right, first one to get him into that sac. Pull the string chart, great. One of them was a potato. One of them was a potato. That is so funny. That is so funny. That is so funny. Get the sack.

No! No, you already lost the love of your life. Now you're in a sack. What an awful day. But now she has to watch you try to fight and get into a, get each other into a sack. That's like, it would be such a turn off as well. Not that she's probably into either of you,

but you both want to marry. She's like, look at these. She's not into you until you get that going or sack. And then she's like, that's your naked proof. That's my guy. Like, the guy in the sack is dragged to the altar inside the sack.

So he does hear the wedding. Does anyone have any objections? I can't hear you in the sack. Sorry. I've heard he's pretty good in the sack. I'm pretty good to get you into a sack. That's cool. Fat little day tour.

So I'll roll sack. What a funny euphemism for bed. Yeah. Especially sexy bed. I guess like when you're in the bed and the blankets are up around you, it's a bit like a sack, I guess, isn't it? A sexy sack. An open sack. Hey, but you don't hear it as much anymore.

It feels like a real like non-easel, something to him. Pretty good. Yeah, he's pretty, a very, he's pretty good in the sack. Demon in the sack. Demon in the sack. And that's a good thing. Okay. Demon in the sack. That's a good one. Okay. Do you remember that?

Now, so Raul's 18 years old, the colon said mate, I'm not fighting you, but Raul continually called him a coward until he much older and more experienced man acquiesce. He said, oh, I've got to fight this kid. He's really demanding satisfaction here. He really wants to fight. First they fought with swords right there in the streets of Paris, and the Colonel was easily able to disarm Raoul four times. It was a bit like, mate.

Do you want any more? Yeah. Desperate Raoul came up with an audacious but very strange plan. I like that combo. Desperate for what? To try and find the upper hand, so I'm like, all right, swords. I'm obviously not naturally gifted like I assumed I was.

Yeah, I thought I could really handle any weapon. Yeah, so because he was terribly asked to change weapon, and because they were out in the open, they couldn't use pistols just there on the street. Grenades. Straight to grenades. Don't worry about shop fronts and small children. They started playing slaps.

Did you ever play James Bond Gold and I? On the 1964, the multiplayer mode, and you could choose the type of weapon, and one of them was called slap his own. So you just got to walk up to the completely new slap until someone dies from slap. Slap to death. Very funny. What a way to go. So you asked the change weapon.

Soars are no good with pistols we can't use. A coach happened to pull up on the street and Rahul made a proposal. The proposal was that the two men tie their arms together and then get in the coach and fight with daggers as the coach goes for two laps around the park. At the end of which, they would open the doors

and see who, if anyone, was still alive. It's, I'd be, as the Colonel, I'd start anything. Is this his plan or... Is he some sort of like a jewel shark? He knows that, yeah. I've been ripped off here. The coach just handy, so still it. Let's make it a little more interesting, too.

Yeah, double or nothing. All right. My initial thought with coach as well was a man in a matching track suit Like a gym coach. Right. So I was like great So we have an a push up competition. I'm then I'd I'd I was thinking I Forgot the time and I thought I was a picture like a you know a grey hand bus But it's not that it's a horse and carriage right out the front there in the back, just the two of them and they...

So tie an arm. So you sit, they sit in the middle, tie maybe they're left arms together and then... That's very inconvenient for me. Sorry, Dress. And then each have your right arm to just stab at each other whilst the coach does two laps around the park. And... That's fucking stupid.

The Colonel agreed. Oh my God, Colonel! So they're both on the back of Kevin Shady. Right. The back of Kevin. All right, Kevin, two laps from the park. The four-throwed Kevin. Hey, yeah, I have a some reason he agreed. Yeah, they all right. So they went around the park two times and people rushed to open the doors and they found in the back of the carriage a sea smooching seven minutes

that was their plan all along it was all about it was all alone just like he was just prolonging this because you just want to spend more time the good yeah all right now I've got your alarms what you're stabbing me what the fuck now they open the doors and they found a sea of blood Rahul the young guy lay dead and the Colonel was gravely wounded. Amazingly though, he recovered. Wow. He was however imprisoned.

And again, from the romance of Juleing in all times in country's volume two, the police took him in hand and he was condemned to a month's imprisonment. It's not a big sentence. Why was he imprisoned? After killing the young man. He's so cold, Jess.

He just killed someone. I see no crime here. But I think, yeah, I think Jess and I were both assuming this was a legal, yeah, that's what, yeah. If killing a man is a crime, lock me up. That's not what I'm saying. And honestly, throw away the key. I've done a crime a few times.

Put the car side and he's like, sorry, what? But yeah, okay, yeah. Because it was outside of julyng rules. Yeah, you know, and honestly it is illegal. Julyng, yeah. Julyng was never legal. Like in several countries and states, it's sort of varied on territory and sort of where you were.

But at the time, they're in the open in the streets of Paris. Often you'd go out to like the middle of nowhere dawn, and then try and get it off before it. Try and get it off. Try and get each other off. And then he lost his well, actually. Then you'd have your fight. And then hopefully you'd be back before anyone noticed. But because of this, they imprisoned him.

And the end of that quote is during which it appears he was subjected to the greatest of indignities. Oh. No one knew what that means, but... A month, a month in prison. Hmm. Doesn't get any more indignant than that. Two months?

Oh my god. I never even thought about that. Dax, don't. Holy moly. Good heavens, David. Heavens to Betsy. So that's in France, but over in the USA, there were also loving the concept of a duel.

And even the president got involved. Oh Ronald Reagan. Yeah. Love the duels. The seventh president of the United States Andrew Jackson. Ah, yeah. Andy J. So do I call him? He had girl loves a jewel. He's a he's on the 10 dollar note. He's a wild man. I believe that's Alexander Hamilton. Okay. Because of the song. He's on a 10 dollar note.

I don't know. 10 dollar note. Jeter bug. Yeah. I don't burn, burn, burn, burn. He's on me. He's on a 10 dollar note from month of July. Poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, from month to July From that song you might think it's Andrew Jackson, but that's not the case

Sometimes he thinks he's on there, but he's out julien without a care It's instead Alexander Hamilton and he's gonna feel all right Instead, Alexander Hamilton, and he's gonna feel all right. Spend me up before you go, go, as long as it costs less than 10. No. Can you add to that video, please? I will be. But Matt, this is, that was very,

a street of you, he's on the $20 bill, the interjects. $20 bill, and he looks like Wayne Hope. Am I right? Am I thinking of the right guy? Wayne Hope. Oh yes. Yeah, comedian. Yeah, okay.

Yep. From such famous, the Librarians, great show. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not American. When I was in America, I got a $20, no. I assumed it was 10, I can't believe I've had it. American 20? 20 USD? And I'm sure I tweeted at him, said,

this year? And he's like, I get that a bit. But. But. Well Matt, we all know that you're older than time itself. And did you know that until? I remember when time was invented. It was a big day.

Well it makes sense then that you probably remember in this story also it makes Wayne Hope quite old because... Anterjection has been on the $20 bill in the past. Until 1928! Oh okay I'm thinking of a different guy then. Oh. 1928. Did I get old money?

Do I have... Am I an old money? I I have am I old money? I'm showing you this is the guy who does the guy way in home I can see that. Yeah, that's him. That was until 1928. That's so weird. I got a real old note. Really, really old note. Wow, awesome. That's strange. Wow. Learning together here people. So, Andrew Jackson he's on the 20 dollar bill now, was on the 10 back in Matt's back packing years in the 1910s.

What do I got bumped? No, I wouldn't be complaining. He had very thin skin and temper that made him bad for july. Oh, thin skin in terms of, he was a bit sensitive. Oh yeah, like a medical condition. Well, it will be able to enter it even easier. Go straight through it. Do not touch my skin. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Like a medical condition. It will be able to enter it even easier. Good show. Through it. Do not touch my skin. Paper skin. It made him quick to challenge people to jewels. Yeah right. Very short

temper. Over his lifetime Jackson challenged over 100 of his foes to jewels. That's too many. This didn't mean he went toe to toe with 100 people. For the most part people would stand in fire. They're going to the air or purposely miss. Making the jewel more about a test of courage when one's on it was at stake. But many of the jewels he fought or challenged for were in defense of his wife Rachel, who was a frequent object of ridicule and malicious rumors after she married Jackson when thinking she was divorced from her first husband. They were on a break. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Could you get divorced back then? Apparently so. Interesting.

Or apparently not because she didn't. Sure. In 1788, Jackson was a young lawyer who was frustrated when he's in court opponent. Attorney called, Why Still Avery? Why Still? Why Still? Why Still Avery?

I don't know, I just don't know. I can't get rid of it. My family now. I don't know, I just am. I can't get rid of it. My family name. I don't know. And Jackson was annoyed because Wystill was outsmarting him in the courtroom. Oh dear. Jackson found himself particularly frustrated

by Avery frequently proclaiming, well, I refer to Bacon, meaning Francis Bacon's noted text the elements of the common laws of England. So he challenged something and he'd be like, well, I'll refer to Bacon. Hmm? What about that? And then Jackson was getting a really pissed off with this.

Jackson decided to replace a copy of the book that Avery carried in his bag with actual Bacon. When Avery criticized Jackson for pulling a child his stunt, Jackson left to his feet and challenged them and to a duel. How dare you call me a child for putting bacon in your bag? It was the president. He went well he went on to become president.

Wow. Incredible. So that night they met by which time things had cooled down a bit including the bacon presumably and they both just shot into the air. So, Paffling. No one was hurt. But that's not how it always went. In 1806, an American attorney and experienced dualist accused Jackson of being a coward while a statement in the newspaper. From then on, it was only a matter of time before the two went head-to-head in a duel. From then on, it was only a matter of time before the two went head to head in a duel. The other man's name is Dickinson. Bit of a Dickinson.

OK. A dueling was a legal in Tennessee where they were, but not in Kentucky. So they decided to duel just a little bit over the border. Right. I see it's stepping in a few, you know, a few meters and they're like, all right, legal. Here we go. So when they both shot into the air last one they guns are machining. They were they both just trusting that the other was going to do the same or? Yes, because I think often because you would draw who would often sometimes you'd shoot first

and say I'm shooting you. Who shoots first? I thought it was like, you can't out, you turn and shoot. Well, you do do that, but I... That's one you don't want to be gone second. But sometimes, tactically, you let the other person shoot first, to see what they're going to do. What if what they're going to do is kill you? It's a real risk. But if they shoot, because you don't want to be, if they shoot in the air,

you look like a bit of a coward if you still shoot them. Yes. Which some people still, you did and they were often criticized for it. Especially if they miss. Yeah. What are you thinking? Come on. But yeah, often tactically, you'd turn and you'd shoot.

And if it looked like you were going for me, I'd shoot next. And the rule is that you have to stand still while I take my shot at you. Have you already taken your shot? So you shoot. Which is, what happens in this instance? Because Dickson or Dickinson, the other guy to Jackson, was considered an expert shot. So future president Jackson and his friend Thomas Overton, determined. I think he's going to survive.

Great point. Well, they determined it would be best to let Dickinson fire first, hoping that he might rush it and miss. Of course, that's a huge risk. But he's a great shot. It's a very good shot, yeah. Because if he takes his time, you're almost certainly gonna die. So he's trying to rush the other guy.

I make him think you're shooting. So he shoots first and then he misses and you go, ha ha ha, I might do. So Dickinson fired first and he didn't miss. Instead, he hit Jackson right in the chest. Amazingly though, Jackson, who was a very... I don't know. And it just seems like this whole thing was ill-advised.

Oh, he's an expert shot, yeah? Well, I challenge him to a duel. Yeah. First mistake. And I'm gonna let him shoot first and I'm gonna stand very still and quietly while he does that. With a target on my chest, I've drawn. Amazingly, Jackson did not die and he was still in fact able to return fire. The rules of Julling meant that Dickinson had to stand

still as Jackson took his own shot. Jackson's pistol stopped at half cock, so he drew back the hammer and aimed again. This time hitting Dickinson in the chest and Dickinson died on the scene. It was later discovered that Dickinson, who was the superior shot, had aimed at Jackson's heart, but a brass button had deflected the bullet. It did hit Jackson. Doctors determined that the bullet was still lodged in Jackson's chest, but it was too close to his heart to operate.

So Jackson carried it around for the rest of his life and suffered much pain from the wound. That would have been annoying going through customs. Every time you got to be like, I've got to, I've got to bullet in my heart. It's like why dad has to carry a little card of the thing that says he's got like fake hips because he sets off all the, all the sense of the stuff. I wonder if they give you a little card of them that says he's got fake hips because he sets off all the sense of it. I wonder if they give you a little card for that. Bullet. Bullet in my heart.

Jeweled. Bullet in my chest. Yeah. I'm sure they do. I'm sure they do. They've got cards for everything these times. Yeah, get out of jail free card. Hello. So did he go to jail? No, because it was legal and Kentucky. Yeah, that's right. So you do it over the border.

So there's little loopholes like that kind of thing. Oh, Andrew Jackson was a bit of a piece of shit, but he's a very tough old man. He also survived the first assassination attempt on a sitting president. Oh, shit. So yeah, button got in the way again. He's honestly covered in buttons.

It's essentially a shield. He's wearing like arm and made of up. He's wearing a chain mail. He looks stupid. It looks really dumb. But... Doing up his shirt took forever. So long.

And then you get him out of order. You get to the bottom of the... I do that all the time. Yeah. You're an idiot. Yes. And also, line up where the tag is on the back of my jumper and go, all right, here we go.

That's the back. Here we go. Head in and... How is this backwards? Multiple times. multiple. He was 30 years old. Nearly 31. Wonder how I'll learn. I know you won't. So he's the first assassination attempt on the sitting president, a man who would not survive an assassination attempt, Abraham Lincoln, who we've talked about with John Wilson. What? Him. So he also narrowly avoided a jewel with swords when he apologized to an Illinois state

official, he'd ridiculed in a local newspaper. Ah, so he's learning some humility, sort of, I mean, he's still going at him, but he backed down. He didn't seem like a back downing type. Lincoln? Yeah, apparently he did. Our fans of Hamilton, I've written here, will know that the potential US presidents and founding fathers also fought Jules, famously Aaron Burr,

then Vice President and Alexander Hamilton, the 10 dollar founding father without a father, fought a Jules in 1804, which I actually, I don't want to go into, I don't want to spoil it if you haven't seen the musical. Wait, sorry, I've just got this on delay, that was Lincoln who backed down. Yes. I thought we were still talking about Wayne Hope. Oh, no, no, no, but Lincoln. So a feature person.

He seems like the kind of guy who would definitely be humble. I don't know why. I would have apologized. Forgorn. Sometime ago. Is it seven years? Damn it. Well, sometime covered that. Yes. You're right.

Yeah, he's not wrong. Could have been seven seconds ago. It's still sometimes. Yeah. It's been some time since we started doing this argument. Why do you don't be like that, Dave? I challenge you to a duel. Okay. What weapon of yours? I'm your savior. I'm sorry. What what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what what I listened to you out in my hands. I listened to a bit of a jewel one run in this report. And the most played song, I couldn't stand. I don't think she was in key. Because it was warbling a lot over the play. I didn't see how many records of you sold. Yeah, so shut your mouth.

Well, I thought that, but I'll quite like the song, My Hands. But that wasn't the biggest one. But the other one, yeah. Woof. I've never heard of My Hands. You don't know that song? No. My hands are small, I know.

But they're not yours. They are my own. Oh, maybe that's the big one, is it? No, the one that was biggest on Spotify, which I did recognize. I think what you were singing was probably the same song. That was my hands. I think so. Sorry, man, I'm really bad at disaffiring you.

Are you still hands? Oh, you were meant for me. Yeah. You were meant for me. And no! What's wrong with you? All over the place, you were meant for me. You should see a video of Joule and Jessica Simpson singing it together. It's very funny

Because it's terrible That's real bad So I just thought I'd mention the bird Alexander Hamilton Jule because I know that's probably the most invoked one I thought people freak out if I didn't mention it sooved. But it's not silly enough for this report. It didn't a zeitgeist. Of the man who signed the Declaration of Independence, everyone makes a big deal about old mate, John Hancock and his big fancy signature.

But the award for best name has to go to, button, guinet. Oh. You know, man, the sign of the Declaration of Independence in the US name was button-guinnit. Button-guinnit. That's got to be one of the old times. Yeah, that's an old time.

He sounds bulletproof. Button-guinnit. Gwynit. And I bring him up not just because of his fantastic name, but because of his death, which was as the result of a duel. His sworn rival, Locklin McIntosh, called him a scoundrel and lying rascal and refused to apologize.

Button challenged him to a duel and the two shot each other at 12 paces. McIntosh survived and even though it was only a thigh wound for button, he died of gangrene three days later. Which is a common story which brings me... Gangrene. Gangrene. Oh, good on delay, I love it. Which is a common story which brings me to another duelist Humphrey Howarth A British MP Humphrey Howarth You picked up a list, Dave. Humphrey Howarth

Humphrey by name. Humphrey by nature. He, uh, and the Earl of my dog's name, it's Humphrey, I can't say it. Humphrey Howarth and the Earl of Barrymore, who were according to historycollection.com, got into a drunk drunken disagreement at the Brighton races in 1806, apparently they're both big drinkers. But I started at the best course of action was to have a duel. So they agreed to their location, face back to back, and then Humphrey Houth did what no one expected. He started stripping off. And he got completely naked.

Strip-tooling. Which sounds pretty absurd, but however, it actually makes some sense. Houth had served as a surgeon in the British East India Company. He knew that most victims of shooting at the time didn't die from the bullet itself, but from an infection that often developed from embedded threads of dirty clothing that the bullet forced inside the body.

I'm amazing. What's your clothing there? Yeah, fuck it now, mate. Come on. He figured if he was naked, this was unlikely to happen and that letting it all hang out dramatically increased his chance of survival.

Wow. He's opponent, the Earl of Barrymore, decided that he didn't want to be known as the guy who shot the naked dude, so he decided to back down and the jewel was called up. Nice. Yeah, I think getting naked really puts things in perspective for a lot of people. People still do that, like you'll see drunk and fights where one guy just rips his shirt off. And you're like instinctively.

Why? I guess it's just going back to the lessons learned in the past. You don't want to get those dirty clothes in there. You're punched that, your T-shirt into you. Ow! Oh, that's going to get infected. Fuck. Punch your T-shirt into you. So MPs and the like actually have quite a history of joling, not one but two UK prime ministers

of Fort Jules. On the 27th of the Bay 1798, at the height of the war between Britain and revolutionary France, Prime Minister William Pitt fought a jule in London with George Tierney, a member of Parliament. Is that Pitt the elder? You know, the Simpson's argument with Barney had with one of the baseball players on the... Pit the elder! The elder.

Lord Palmerstein! Pit the elder. Well, this is Pit the younger. Ooh. Remember that bit? Thank you. That was arguing. For some reason Barney was having a drunk and argument with a baseball player who is the best,

I think who the best British pro-Herman is still one. Lord, Palmyrstead! He held it! And then he knocked it out. And then he knocked it out. These days it's taken for granted that members of parliament talk shit about each other in the House of Commons. You know, it's shooting their mouths off each other.

George Tini, however, took a comment made by the Prime Minister as a comment on his personal courage and, quote, desire to obstruct the defence of the country as he was treasurer of the Navy at the time. It was only one way to settle this matter, and that was a duel. The duel took place on a Sunday, which is usually a day of rest, and this generated much criticism against Prime Minister Pitt. I'm actually being the Prime Minister. You're fighting someone to the death, and you criticize not because of that, but because you chose to do it on a Sunday. Yeah, I think the right day, mate. I want to come down to it though, both parties fired and missed,

according to historyhouse.co.uk, I don't know my favorite websites. It was observed at the time that it was slightly unequal as Pitt was a very thin man whilst Tini was very fat, thus making him a much larger target. But satisfaction met on both sides after they missed, the two men withdrew. Okay, all right, so what does that prove at that point?

Or is that them going, oh, I almost died. That was silly. Yeah, I risked my life for this I've got my you know honor is intact God clearly didn't want either of us to kill the other man Let's go back to the honors intact it Surely the honors intact before the jules well or they they think their honor has been yeah by calling him saying that he's Putting the country at risk. Right. That's, you know, accusing him of having bad character. Nothing's changed apart from their both son, they're not good at shooting guns.

Yeah. But they were willing to risk it. Right, for the best. For their honor. Okay, the biscuit. The second prize. I have a dear risk for the biscuit. Yes, I would.

What kind of biscuit? Monte Carlo. Oh, the King of Biscuits I would. What kind of biscuit? Oh Monte Carlo. Oh, the King of Biscuits. Yeah. Yes please. I love Monte Carlo. My favorite all time biscuit I think. Yeah, it's like a webcam.

Oh wow. Alright. What's your favorite? Oh, I don't put me on the spot like that. What kind of biscuit are we talking? Oh, you guys are talking like... We're talking like Arnett's family. Yeah, we'll...

It's all the creams. I would be going for like a shortbread cream. Oh yeah yeah, okay, they're a fine biscuit bit dry for me But yeah, you know, there's so many great teddy bear biscuits. Teddy bears is fine. Yeah, pretty dry Pretty dry one Delta cream Delta cream the most Oreo like yeah, not the worst. Yeah, yeah the worst orange slice But if we're talking Chuckie Vicky Chuck out mint mint slice yep great choice caramel crown very good Tim Tam Tim Tamte you can't bet Tim Tamte all the variations double coated yeah double coated I thought you couldn't improve on perfection then they may

double coat it's like oh shit you can. You can't have as many of them. You could smash a lot of normal Tim Tam's, original Tim Tam's, but double coat you're like, oh, one or two thanks, and that's probably a good thing. What about the iced vovo? The big one for me is a kid, but no. I got coconut on them. Coconut, marshmallow and jam.

Yeah, the marshmallow and jam, fan. Hate coconut. All right, just briefly, briefly. And even a little bit marshmallow and jam fan, hate coconut. All right, sprig with sprig with coconut. And even a little bit of coconut makes everything taste like coconut, so I don't like it. Yeah, so you wouldn't risk it for that biscuit. No, I would not. No, I don't, I don't, I don't eat marshmallows really.

Of course. But I, I loved them as a kid, but I don't, I think they'd be too sweet for me now. Anyway, that was a fun, a little episode of risk it for the biscuits. Oh, yeah. a fun little episode of Riscuit for the Biscuit. Oh, yeah. The vegan marshmallows recently, and they were actually delicious.

Ooh. There they go. Anyway. I'm listening. That's my turn. That's it. Thanks for joining us on another episode of Riscuit for the Biscuit.

Now, back to the jewel. I just wanted to mention the other Prime Minister that jeweled someone was the Prime Minister in 1829, Arthur Wellesley, who jeweled the Earl of Winchell Sea, a staunch Protestant who was annoyed with the Prime Minister pass an act to allow Catholics to sit in the Parliament. The Prime Minister... They had to stand before that. Daniel.

Oh, Daniel. Long day. The Prime Minister fired first and missed, possibly on purpose, at which point the Earl of Winchell Sea fired into the air. Anna was saved and Wintercy wrote the Prime Minister an apology. Oh, that's nice. There you go.

Now, the most common story. You're a weird step in this. Just get straight to the apology. Yeah. Just talk it out. Or is it that Tim gone? I didn't realize you were man enough to shoot and miss. So now you have my respect.

Yeah, honestly, you had started respecting each other. Sometimes the people became great friends after it. Right. It's like, hey. So we went through something together. Yeah. Oh, sorry, wait, this is it. I feel like you can skip that step.

What about one-on-one basketball or something? Yeah. Shots versus skins. That dude guy is ready to go. One on one, but you still need to know who's on his team. Oh, who do I pass it to? Oh, not you, you're not wearing a shirt, okay? Oh, the ring. Oh, I passed you a pass to the ring. Now, the most common Julie weapon was swords, then Pissol Stucco, but obviously basketball was much later. But it wasn't always so limited. Some people like to think outside the box, JP. Okay. Back to France in 1843.

Bizzoukers. When in the commune of, I wish, in commune of Mason 4, two men named Lafont and Melfont, got into an argument was playing Billions. Obviously, it's a pretty heated game at the best of times, Snipper. Yeah. Yeah. They decided to end the argument, the honorable way, with a duel.

Just like, I argue, settle your argument by whoever wins. You've already got a game there. Literally doing it. It's a competition here. Dave, did you just say billions and then call it Snooker? I like two different games. Yeah. I thought the same game.

No, I think I tried to use a Quillow Quil term there But I also thought oh no some big fans gonna say No, it's just I'm like I didn't if that was true. I would have learnt something But it's not true so you learn nothing then there's pool. They're like three games that look the same. Yeah, sort of I don't know the sound the difference at all I think I'm also on with sound, the difference at all. I think it's... I'm also on with the Bigs and Smalls. Okay. And then Snooker or Billiards are the ones with like... Stars and Stripes.

Stars and Stripes. All the different colors and... And they get balls. And they get put back on the, yeah lots of red balls and they get put back on the table. Got to hit a red one in, then a colored one and then with... Oh.

Different. Okay. And fade in, live social. Anyway, they were playing billions, is the game. That started to duel. But they thought that the weapon that bests it, well I love what you perform when you do server. You're although I think maybe the only one of us who performs general rapport, but what happened next?

Yeah, I must admit, but I didn't quite go to play. I appreciate that you think that I did that I'm purpose, but I just lost my spirit. But dramatic pause as I find. It's I desperately scroll. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm going to perform my next, my next report. I'm going to really razzle as we use. They're walking around the room.

Yeah, I'm going to do voices. Yeah, it's going to be sick. The sentence I was trying to look for was however they thought the weapon that best fit their situation was neither gun nor sword, but billiard balls. Oh, in a sock. Better this one. What are the sticks? Why don't the cues just batching each other with the cues? Well, they decided to have a duel where they take an intern throwing the balls at each other. They took their 12 paces and agreed to stay still whilst the other threw their balls. Matt, could you throw a billiard bowl 12 paces?

Oh wait, it's like 24 paces. Could you throw that far? Could you? Oh, hey, I was around in this period. Dave? No, I'd bet I'd bet over the gown I reckon. But yeah, that would, I mean, it really can't even yet in the head or the nads, the second head.

Either of those would be brutal. Well, Malfon drew the long straw and chose to throw first. He even said, I'm gonna kill you with my first throw. Oh, that'd be cool. Well, he threw his first ball, it hit Malfon, square and he's forward. And he died instantly. Yeah, that's fun.

Honestly, how do you stand still? I would definitely My head oh and forever live as a coward rather than die with honor there and then Malfon won the duel but he wasn't able to celebrate long as he was subsequently arrested and tried for willful murder and was convicted of manslaughter Oh I mean I went like oh but yeah, he did that. He killed someone with a ball. That's crazy. I'd say it means a great throw.

Oh yeah, amazing. That's my life. Yeah. It's just that. There would be a little part of it was like, that was kind of, that was awesome. I clocked it. I'd feel awful, I'd feel great.

Yes. The whole way I'd be like, that's got him. Yeah. You know when you just know, when you've chucked it, you're like, oh, I'd feel great. Yes. The whole way, I'd be like, that's got him. Yeah. You know when you just know when you've chucked it, you're like, oh, that's going in. Wash. Hold it your hole in one here. And then, but then as soon as he goes down,

some regret about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that fleeting moment while you're watching it and just when it does hit him right in the head, that those little moments are like, what? That's nice. And you're wondering, is it appropriate to pull my shirt over my head and run around like this?

Like I just got a goal? Is that appropriate? Can I do a cartwheel? Is that, is that an appropriate? If you are thinking this is what God wanted, which is a wild thought for you to be like, yeah, I believe in God, create everything. Yeah. He wants me to kill this guy with a billiard ball. Yeah, that's his work on the Stranger Rays. Like, ah. Crite everything. Yeah. He wants me to kill this guy with a billion balls. Yeah. That's his work's on his front rise.

Like, uh. season because they have everything. They have holiday decor at Nordstrom. They have cozy cardigans from Barefoot Dreams, my fave. They have cold weather attire, party attire, plus free shipping and free returns. Free store pickup. You can also purchase a recycled fabric gift bag so your item arrives festive and wrapped. So check out Nordstrom this holiday season. A one-stop shop. You can explore more at Nordstrom in store or online at Nordstrom.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now, quote today at progressive.com.

Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, National Average 12 month savings of $744 by new customer surveyed, who saved with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discount's not available in all safe and situations. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often

flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months not years take classes online or on campus and Financial aid is available to qualified students including the GI Bill now is the time my computer career dot edu What should be noted that jewels were not just limited to men. Oh, thank God lady jewels. They're more psychological Like God, Lady Jewels! They're more psychological. Oh, bedazzles. In 1792, we come to what's known as the Pettycoat Jewel. Yeah, where we, um, they would flick each other's brass straps. Ow! Don't! It all started over afternoon tea.

Of course I did. Mrs. Elphin Stone, an upper-class woman, was visiting the House of Lady Brattick. When according to HistoryCollection.com, Mrs. Elphin Stone made some pretty rude comments to her host. She said, quote, quote, You have been a very beautiful woman. You have a very good, or terminal face even now.

But you must acknowledge that the lilies and roses are somewhat faded. Forty years ago, I am told, a young fellow could hardly gaze upon you with impunity. So 40 years ago, you were cute. An absolute banger. You see, the problem is that Lady Bratica only recently turned 30. You've been back then 30 was 70. That is, that makes that a pretty funny line. 40 years ago, I line. 40 years ago.

I'm told 40 years ago. Boys could not take their eyes off ya. This is the empire that she's like. Looks double her age. She demanded a duel. The women opted to resolve the spat by dueling in London's Hyde Park, a place that we've all been together.

No, no. No, no. We didn't realize what we had. What history had been there? Yeah. Both women fired their pistols but missed. Mrs. Elf and Stone managed to knock her opponent's hat off, which meant she was going for a head shot. Would a little lady pistols, small and pink and light?

Oh yes, of course. Yeah, mostly plastic because of the other. with a little lady pistols, small and pink and light. Oh, yes, of course. Yeah, mostly plastic, because it's too heavy at the end. I feel like that's the perfect shot. That's knocking the hat off the head. You don't kill anyone. You've shown how close you could have got. And I think that's the great result.

But what about the risk of, especially if you go, I want to knock that hat off your head. But if you shoot, It's definitely your old woman, you shoot them in the face and you go, I only meant the hat. I actually went, it was kind of for the hat. Which is actually a huge insult, because that hat was this season and brand new, you know, it would have been devastating to lose that hat. I thought I wanted, it was just a devastating. Well, according to the good people at Britannica, the jewel could have ended at that point when the hat was on the ground, but the women decided to try their hands at swords.

After receiving a wound to her arm, Alfonstone, who made the rude comments, said that she would write a letter of apology. So she backed down. The one who wrote the rude. Yes, he said the rude stuff. She got stabbed and went, Oh, actually, I apologize. Well, I mean, is that what's happened here is she's like, God did not like me saying that. Am I putting too much into the God stuff? I think a bit.

Okay. Yeah. So, yeah, it's just the interiors that she gets cut and she goes, Oh, yeah, no, I was obviously wrong. I guess I was being a dick by saying, you used to be hot and now you're fagally and you're only 30. I guess I was a bit mean. Yeah, I guess that really wasn't worth dying for.

Maybe I was a bit hungry. You know? Did anybody ever thought maybe they were just a bit hungry? Oh, I'm always a bit hungry. I know. I'm thinking about lunch right now. That's why I'm nearly always a bit of a douche. I know, and that's why I'm always like, you guys want to get some food?

Have you ever read a review and thought, gosh, I'd love to slap that person? Yes. Oh, yeah. Well, in 1870, French modernist painter Edward Manet lived every artist stream after he took a fence over art critic Louis Edmund Duranty's review of two of his paintings.

Upon encountering him at a cafe, Manet slapped the critic and the two men agreed to a duel. They elected to use swords and Emil Zola served as Manet's second. Duranty, the reviewer was wounded in the chest at which point it was declared that Manet's honour had been restored. I mean, I keep going through this, but it's a weird system. It's a very odd system. And imagine seeing someone who's just giving you a show half a star in a cafe and it's going, right.

Psh. And then stabbing them in the back. I'm in here. And then your honor being restored after that. Like, yeah, I mean, the show still sucks. Yeah, but nobody thinks that anymore. I mean, you know, that, that reviewer still mistakenly thinks the show sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everybody else is like, ah, well, now I think that's great. Also, it's best to usually like bury a bad review. Now everyone's writing about how you stabbed your reviewer. Yeah. Bring a lot of attention to that first review. He's not the only famous artist to be involved in a duel. Alexander Pushkin, considered by many to be the greatest Russian poet and the founder of modern Russian literature, died after being wounded in a duel against his wife's

lover. He had first heard of the affair when you received a letter that announced that he'd been elected to quote, the most serene order of cuckolds said, you're a cuck. He's been cucked with flurry language. Hey, congrats. You're a cuck. You're a cuck. And he read that, I'm sorry, what?

And put it clearly. He went to his wife and she said, no, that's not true. And he even met the man that was apparently having the affair with his wife. And they got on well enough that he went no worries. And the guy ended up marrying Pushkin's wife's sister, so it became his brother-in-law. And they were all getting along, but apparently the affair was continuing. And it got to a point where people were ridiculing him so much, he said, right, I've got a challenge this guy to a duel.

And the other guy killed it. Oh, the ultimate cock. Oh, yeah, a cocked. And now the other guy has both of us. Both women. That's the worst story I've ever heard. And that's like the greatest Russian poet cut down on his prime at 37 because of that. Who knows what he, what more he could have written? So bestling.

Hey, he's a little you're a cock. Hey, woohoo. Mark Twain, famous American writer, agreed to a duel with James Leard, the publisher of Arrival Paper. Twain had accused him of not following through on his promise to give money to a charity. But Twain was a terrible shot, like really bad.

He even got lessons from his second Stephen Gillis to try and get better at it. According to Botanica here, quote, shortly before Leard, his opponent was to arrive at the duel, Gillis, his second, shot a bird, and then informed Leard supporters that Twain had killed the animal from a distance of 30 feet. Seeing this, the nervous Leard subsequently agreed to call off the duel. Now some have wondered whether the great writer

trained to put a bit of mayo on this story, but apparently the rest of his life, he proudly told people this story. Yeah, right. So the guy was like, holy shit, you're a great shot. I don't want to challenge him. No, he wasn't at all. If you only had the choice of Dave and I

for a second, who would you choose? I figured, I don't know if I was paying attention when you explain what a second is. The second is essentially just the one who goes and like negotiates. Yeah, they try to call off the jewel early on. 100% daily. Yeah. Not me.

I just I'd backed out immediately. No, I think you do the opposite. You'd be like, no, fuck this. No, no, we're not calling off the jewel. Matt, get in there. Yeah. But that asshole. You want someone a bit canoving, right? this. Nah, no, we're not calling off the jewel, Matt, get in there. Yeah. That asshole. You want someone, you want someone a bit caniving, right?

Someone who can, he says, look you. I didn't mean to start it. I'm not sure which. I feel like I'd be better as a second than a first. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'd pick you as a second. So maybe you can be the first Jess. You can be the one in the line of fire. Yeah. And I'll, I'll get you. Yeah. Yeah. You can be the one in the lawn of fire. Yeah, and I'll I'll get you Yeah, you're the you're the professional best man. You've been best man more than anyone I've ever met or I can you are Everyone's second. I'll shoot a dog and say the Jess shot the dog She's cruel I don't feel like that why did you shoot my dog? Hey, well said you're out of this jewel

To shoot my dog she shot it she shot it put bullet get bow right to the It's right to this thing. Yeah, it was full of it was wild whoa Now I bet it would have all been faked Don't worry little pebbles or whatever it's the same as it be. Running free. Pebbles is fine. I think I'm in honey. Goose.

Goose. Goose. What's my though call? I'm free beer for beer. Fucking ridiculous. He's got favorites. Yeah. All right.

Uncle Matt's got a favorite, doesn't he? No, I'm out. man well I've only really met Humphrey you know I think I've met Goose but I do I if you if I had a little more time I would remember Goose's name almost a little more time can I have a bit of a guitar can I find a friend I'm gonna call Jess yes what you talking I was the cold goose buddy what do you know we go come on speak up Bruce Bruce is Bruce, is it Bruce? Yeah, that sounds right. That's all right.

Finally, we get to the duel that maybe want to write this whole report in the first place. At first, it was just going to be a Patreon bonus episode about this duel, and I started writing it over a year ago, and I found, oh, so much more. Amazing. In 1783, the Mont-Golfier Brothers launched the first man, Hot Air Balloon flight.

That was what they know on that day. But in just 25 years time, people would be using their machines to kill each other. That's right, the final duel is the Hot Air Balloon duel. Yes! In Evolve 2, Frenchman, Montsueur or Monsieur des Grands-Père and Monsieur de Pique. Both have been saying the same woman, a renowned dancer at the Paris Opera. They've been both been dating the same. Yeah, and they found out about each other and hang on a second. Hang on a second.

All right, I think this makes more sense. You've got a big target. So you just have to shoot the balloon Correct, that's this makes way more sense, but it also means Probably both of them will die because the one going down Yeah Or fuck you mate my dear The idea was that the winner of the duel would win her dainty manicured hand or as it was described small hand as duel would have described it. Yeah.

As Madwaselle Tiravitt, who was the dancer, she would bestow her smiles on the survivor. It was sad. I don't know if she's agreed to this, but they're like, all right, I'll kill him and then you'll be with me, right? Why would you risk your life for someone who's cheated on you? Yeah, why is she cheating? Or maybe they're just in the early days? Oh yeah, she's still just, you know,

testing the orders of both. Yeah, maybe. And so, okay, in that case for her, she'd be like, this is a bit full on. I mean, like two dates with you guys. We're throwing a lot of terms here, for a friend. I don't even know your other.

Yeah, what? We're having a family, like. I must say, it was weird on the first date when you said I would die for you. And now you're doing it. I thought that was a bit full on, but I let it slide, because you'd been pretty nice to rest the time.

But now I'm seeing that was a red flag. Yeah, that's weird. Yeah. Sorry, but they, these three men. Sorry, flag rouge. Oh. Is that make it clearer for you? Very.

It's flag, flag and French. I don so loose. Does that make it clearer for you? Very. It's flag and French. I don't know. Oh, it's so good now. So they agreed to the hot air balloon duel. Each flew a hot air balloon 2,000 feet into the air above Paris. They then pulled out their weapon of choice, which is a Blunderbus. A Blunderbus. And began firing. What is a Blunderbuss. A Blunderbuss. And again, firing.

What is a Blunderbuss? One of those ones that's like, how can I describe? Short, large, caliber barrel. So the shoot's big shrapnel, is that that kind of thing? Yeah, it looks a bit like, it's like a wooden, see that there? No, yep.

It looks like it. It's part trumpet. With a big opening at the end to try and fire at a real, really large bullet. Now they put out the weapon of choice, the Zed, not, and they began firing, not at each other directly, but as Matt predicted at each other's balloons. The idea was that the winning shot would hit their opponents balloon, which in turn would cause gas to escape and bring the blimp and its doomed occupants down in a crumbled heat of humiliating defeat.

And I say occupants, because they had their second fly the balloon whilst they shot. Right. Which meant that whoever lost would be falling down, but also would take their second with them. They also each had their dog. Yeah. So just to make it extra tragic.

Was Blunderbust the name of a Jack White album? I remember that right. I think that's the first time I heard the term Blunderbust, but I might be making up. This feels like a really dumb idea. It is. I'm looking it up. It is an album from 2012. It also, it just feels like to me and it just feels like there's such a risk of everyone

dying. Is it one shot than the other shots? Because if they're both shooting at the same time, it's a big target. It's keep going. According to the local press at the time, the two men chose hot air balloons because they felt that they possessed higher intellectual properties than normal men. Yeah. They're like, I strongly disagree.

So they want to be literally higher? Yeah, that on-ground shit. Come on. That's for dummies. Yeah, that's for me, my poor. We're super smart, so we're going to fight from balloons. Are the stories covered in vintage news who write, the chords securing the balloons to the ground were cut, and the balloons ascended into the air

as a crowd of curious spectators. Many of whom simply thought they were watching a friendly balloon race started cheering. Go, go! A balloon race. I didn't have much on back then today. They were about 70 metres apart and depeak fired first, but failed somehow to hit his opponents very, very large target.

Unfortunately for him, his opponent, Degrampa, was much more accurate, and so Depeck and his copilot plummeted to their dance. Again, from vintage news, when the balloon hit the ground there was one observer somewhat indelicately described it quote dash to pieces on a house top oh That's a room to house Isn't it just the most wild and absurd things so stupid Honestly, there's so many jewels and I couldn't get to them all and I apologize in advance or now if I haven't covered your favorite Jewel

Everyone's your favorite well. Well, do you have a favourite jewel? Mine's a scientist. When two scientists couldn't agree. They thought their weapon of choice, Bunsen Dance. Oh no. Turn up real high. Oh, blow. Make the flame be. I'm going to get the safety flame on.

There was even one that's been called the 19-year jewel where these two French officers continually fought jewels over 19 years. And that's a big story, so maybe we could do that. It's own bonus report one day. Wow. So flaying that. And you might be thinking in jewels, they're so last century or to be honest, even the century before.

What have I told you that not everyone wants to leave them in the past? In October 2002, four months before the US invasion of Iraq, Iraqi Vice President Tahar Yassin Ramadan suggested US President George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein settle their differences in a duel. He reasoned that this would not only serve as an alternative to a war that was certain to damage Iraq's infrastructure, but it would also reduce the suffering of the Iraqi and American peoples. Which you're like, all right, only one person dies here. He also proposed that the other people of similar rank go toe to toe, EG, President take

on President, Vice President versus Vice President. So you go down the line. Wow. I'm kind of into this. I mean, you think, oh, it's a horrible waste of life, but so is war, maybe even to a grander scale. Ramadan proposed that the Jew will be held in neutral land with each party using the same weapons and with the then UN Secretary-General Kofi Anan presiding as the supervisor. On behalf of President Bush White House Press

Secretary Ari Fleischer declined the offer. Thank you so much. Hey, what a fun offer. Thank you. There's no bad ideas. Unfortunately, we are not available then at that time. But thank you so much. It's a no from us. No from me, no. You're not a politician. yeah, you'd be great. Um, starting a residence of that. Thank you so much. Everything. The press secretary. Um, we'll take that one on an advisement. Thank you. Thank you so much for that question. I will not

be answering that. Next question, please. Yeah, I'd be great at that. Yeah, I think you'd be really good. All right, well, I'm quitting the pod. Bye. Suckers. Honestly, you do a better job than many of the press secretaries I've seen. Wow, bloody take that, press secretaries.

You got him, Dave. Fucking yeah. That Kaylee McEnany. That brings us to the end of the report. That's my report on the silliest jewels. They were some of the silliest ones I could find. What a fun topic. Yeah.

Good job. High-body count, but still. Yeah. Yeah. Very, very silly stuff. Yeah, wild. But yeah, it makes sense that, I mean, they're just so inherently silly.

Yeah, they are. Yeah, they are. So then you add a layer of silliness on top of that? It's like. No, now we're getting real silly. Yeah, I mean, yeah. This is getting out of hand. So that brings us to the part of the episode that everyone loves more than anything else

where we thank for our Patreon supporters. We talk a bit of trash, not like the serious business we get up to in the first half of the show. Can I just say that if we've ever offended anyone, we are open to them challenging us to a duel. Yes. Oh, I don't speak forever, huh? Well, no, just how would we respond? Um, am I the second? Wait. I mean, this was the first opportunity to show the skills, but I'll take it.

Actually, thank you so much for your offer, but we're actually busy at that time. I'd already forgotten that riff from a minute ago. So, what we like to do is we like to show our appreciation for some of our supporters at patreon.com. So go on pod or do go on pod.com, who have basically keep the show running with their support. Honestly, without them, we couldn't have done this 300 weeks in a row. That's right.

So. That's a round of one. And so the, are you looking for That count find his words Yeah, yeah, are you looking for jenna so what? No, I was just can't, I just fully blanked. That's all right, just start again from the top of the podcast. Yeah, hello and welcome.

Jule, is the name of a singer? It seems a bit like Jule. So people, they support us on those websites and get all sorts of rewards. Is that what we call? Yeah, rewards. And yeah, some of them include bonus episodes. We do three bonus episodes a month. Jess is working on those this month, I think. Yeah.

And then, you know, you've got a Facebook group. We do a sporadic newsletter. All sorts of different things. Yeah, you get to vote for the topics and really steer where the show goes. That's right, that's one of the big ones. You get to vote on the topics. If steer where the show goes. That's right, that's one of the big ones. You get to vote on the topics. If you on the Sydney Sharnberg level, you get to vote for two out of three topics, basically.

But you also get to give us a factor quote or a question. You also get to give us your title. This little section has a jingle that goes a little something like this. Fats quote or question. Bing! Ah, you always remembers the ding. And this week we've got four, much like every other week.

The first one comes from Drew Foolsburg, who's given himself the title of number one at getting one up. And... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Like that. And Drew is asking us a question. And his question is, in works of media, when a New Zealand actor is portraying a Australian,

do you catch it every time or have you indeed been fooled by a secret kiwi? I'm American, so pretty much everything gets by me in this department ministry. Yeah. Well, every time Russell Crowe gets on the mark, you're like, where's he from again? Yeah, but he's got on Australia, because he's falling. This is really good. Academy Award winning man. I think these lived in Australia for quite a while.

Yeah. I mean, I can't think of that many examples other than Russell Crowe, Sam Neal. The guy who plays Homelanda in a GFK way, but he does an American accent that I believed. Yeah, I think it's more, I think Australia and New Zealand accents are fairly similar. I mean, some people have very like strong New Zealand accents, but I think we slip into

each other's accents easily. Actors do. I don't think I do a great job. Americans or English doing Australian accents, I think, are the ones that are the most noticeable. American, particularly. Americans, are the most noticeable. American, in particular. Yeah, Americans, it's so different. Yeah. Yeah, that's always pretty obvious.

It's rare to see it done really well. Yeah, I think the K-way, it's just a few vowel sounds that get changed. Yeah, you can change those fairly easily. And we even have fairly similar, like, lingo for a lot of things to some different, but yeah. I think technically New Zealand is in the Australian Constitution as a state, but they just never took it up or something. Oh, really? Yeah, I heard that recently. That's a cool fact.

If true. Yeah, I can't think of a Tom Ben like, look at this. Look at this Kiwi Ben and I'll say, and I don't think we care. Like we, I think we are more incensed if an American's playing in Australia and doing a bad job. We're like, bloody, there's so many Australian actors you could get and you don't bloody, I think if a Kiwi's doing it, we're like, no, good on him.

One of the worst ones from recent time was an English actor who was on the good place. Oh my god, it's so bad. Oh, I haven't heard it. It's so bad. She sounded like she was being... Yeah, I thought I was, I thought I'm like, there's got to be an Australian over there. So many! But there was a few Americans playing Australians in that show and they were all horrendous But also why you don't have to make him Australian why isn't that why isn't that world in England if you want her to be

Yeah, she was great, but not as an accent wasn't or she could be English in Australia That's true. Yeah, that's true. Cheaties there and he's not from Australia So people can move around the world. It's all right. Yeah, not that I mean I don't the people to get a bit annoyed but I mean yeah, and I don't really give a shit who cares but it's It made me think that it was on purpose and that I was gonna be another version of Bad places But no, it was meant to be in Australia Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, it was meant to be in Australia next.

It's just bad. There's so many Australian actors over there trying to make it. And it's like, just give them the part. Just give them the part. If you wanted to Australian accent, you had to Australian to do it. I guess that's acting as well, right? Yeah, it's all that, you know. And so, yeah, some people do it a bit of the. It's just funny to go, yeah, that'll do.

But I guess the people casting it just didn't know, couldn't tell the difference. And I wonder if like American seeing Australian or English people doing American accents go, what are they doing? All right, give me a slide. I find that watching Australian accents. Yeah, I find that watching Australian actors doing American

accents sometimes I'm like you're not doing a great job. That was pretty good. They're young at their iPods right now in America. Good question Drew. It's a real specific. I wonder where that came from. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, but no, I think accents are so hard and to commit to one. But it's the same thing. It's like the people who get annoyed by podcasts on a certain topic are the people who know so much about it. And it's like, maybe it's, you know, and the same like an Australian knows the accent so much about it. And it's like, maybe it's, you know, and the same

like an Australian knows the accent so much. But the good place isn't for an Australian audience, really. Where does this tiny little market? It's for Americans. I don't give a shit. That can't tell. Yeah, of course. So it's, I think you just, yeah, sometimes when you're like, oh, I care about this, it's like, well, it's probably not, I don't know, it depends, but those sort of things are like, oh, does it really matter? Yeah. But sometimes it is fun to be angry at stuff that doesn't matter as well. Yeah.

Love to yell in an iPod on occasion. Thank you. It's not even on. Just put it in the corner. You are pointless because you're off. Fucking wheel, what the fuck's that? So the thank you Drew the next one comes from Murray Somerville who's given himself the title of senior head of lettuce That's fun. Do you get it Dave?

No God, I got it. Dave you're so stupid. And this is a fact from Murray Murray writes following up on my last opera fact, Dave mentioned that he thought opera people said, toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy Toy is of German origin from their word for the devil. Toy fell. Saying the devil's name three times was said to ward off bad omens. Over time, it was shortened to just Toy and said as if you were spitting the devil's name three time.

Toy, toy, toy. Oh, interesting. Interesting. That's very interesting. Great fact, Murray. Yeah. Guessing, Murray. Yeah. Guessing, because when you're saying Chookers was an Australian one,

so maybe Murray, Murray, some of all, is a very Aussie sitting there. Murray, so some of you all know. Get out, Murray. Hey, bloody going. Murray, is the fantastic artist who posts photos in our Patreon group. For all reason, our Patreon group,

that are simply awesome. Great. They are so good. And he's from Queensland. There you go. There you bloody. Maza. Murray, the artist and opera guy, bloody good on you.

Oh, artist-lash, operatic singer and russians. I wonder what Murray thought of this week's, or sorry, three weeks ago as Bookcheek. That's right Matt and Evan came on to talk about Labo M, the Puccini Opera, my first ever opera episode. So, toy toy toy. Toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy That's a great one. Thanks, Murray. The next one comes from Andy Goldsmith, who's given himself the title, Abe Froman, sausage king of Chicago. I don't know why that's a reference to, but I love it.

I love it a lot. Oh, that's so good. Can you figure out why that's about Dave? Well, I read Andy Goldsmith's quote, which is from Ferris Bure, great film, one of my favorites. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

So true Ferris. So good, what a film. It's a great film. It holds up too. I saw a little bit of it not too long ago. I was just on the tally and it was. Great. Still great it was great. Yeah, still great.

Still great. Looks like us, do you say, what did you say, sorry? I don't know for one second. The first beat was a good movie, that's all. Do you remember that Dave Fromen, sausage king, is something from that movie? Yeah, I thought so. Right.

I haven't seen it for many years, I don't know. It's like sausage king and Chicago sounds familiar. Yeah, I wonder what the, I think it was when it was faking getting into that hoaxie toy. Yeah. I think so. Yes, it poses an aid for women in order to get a table. Good stuff, everyone. That is very funny.

And then I've looked up, there's an article on ChicagoTribune.com. There is indeed a sausage king of Chicago and contrary to popular belief, it's not ape Froome. And there's a picture of another old man sitting next to a plate of sausage. Oh man, I'm hungry for sausage all of a sudden. Vienna beef CEO Jim Broadman, 75. Broadman, perfect name for sausage guy. Wow.

Is that no one who did feminism? Bit of a stretch. Sausages of light rods. I think he's a... I'll have one rod of meat. That's how they originally described. Meat rod, please. Meat rod.

A few, chuck a few meat rods on the Barbie. Yeah, feed the family. Couple of meat rods. Cheers Andy. And the last one this week comes from Declan Grant. He's given himself the title of Horticultural Assets Coordinator, very important role. Thank goodness. Thank you so much.

And Declan has offered us a fact. So we got a fact quote and question this week, which is great. Beautiful. Declan writes, a sunflower looks like one large flower, but each head is composed of hundreds of tiny flowers called florets, which ripen to become the seeds. This is the case for all plants in the sunflower family, including daisies, yaro, golden rod, which is another old name for sausages. Astor's, Coriopsis and bachelor's buttons, which are bulletproof. That's fun. I love sunflowers.

Beautiful. Very nice. Yeah. Maybe my favorite flower. Will they move towards the sun? Oh. Love that. Love that. They know.

They're flowers. They know. They know. It's all part of the process. How do they do it? Trust the process. Trust the process. Trust the process.

Trust the process. Thank you process. Trust the process. Thank you so much to Declan Andy Murray and Drew for your facts, quotes, and questions there this week. We also like to thank a few of our other long term supporters. Just on we comes up with a little game here to something to do with the day's topic. Yes. I was thinking their choice of weapon for a duel. Great one.

Great one. Yeah. Fantastic. All right. Yes, I was thinking their choice of weapon. Oh great one great one. Yeah fantastic all right well If I may kick it off please I'd love to thank from Hurst in Texas United States Tim Liggett And Tim is of course choosing oh Vacuum cleaner your face and you had something a vacuum cleaner. So you're facing you had something. A vacuum jewel. Yeah, yeah.

So we've got, is it like an infomercial? Where the unbelievable stones, let's rub it in there. It's like, oh, six gallons of red wine, all right. I guess I'll spill that on the floor. Jay looks like that, a real party. He loves it. Let's see what we can do about this. See how many bowling balls we could pick up with these back here.

That's a fight. You suction cup of bowling ball and then you're throwing it at your opponent. You got a release at the right time. You're going to claim the carpet after pro-hats being involved. Oh, my God. And then once you've done that, you suck up the bowling ball, fling it. That's a great jewel. That's perfect, yeah. GZ, you wanna have a fair bit of suction.

We've done very well straight off the bat actually, because I said, good luck Tim. I said a real high watermark there, but I think Tim's got it, toy toy toy Tim. I'd also love to thank from Sunny Meal Jura in Victoria, Australia. Sean Pratt, did Sean try to add from Sunny, Mildura in Victoria, Australia. Sean, Pratt. Did Sean, Pratt, I had G there, would be silent?

Or Pragt. Pragt, or Pragt. I don't know. Pragt. Sean, Pratt, from Mildura. Had a great family holiday in promis grew up in Mildura. Had a great time, I think. He used to go to Mildura a lot.

We had family friends there. Really quite a lot of drive. Yeah, it's a big trip, but we to go to Mildura a lot. We had family friends there. Really quite a lot drive. Yeah, it's a big trip, but we'd go for a solid week. Or so we had family friends who had kids, same age as me. Amazing times. Spend a lot of time on the river in Canoes, which is why Sean's choice. Weapon is oars.

Oh yeah. Are they in Canoes or on dry land? You are in canoes, you have to get close to each other and just beat the shit out of each other with ores. Is cano the one where you, oh no, that's a kayak. What's the one with just the hole? Cano can be long and it's open. Yeah, yes, yeah.

So yeah, pretty brittle, I've got to say. Yeah, for sure. Because I mean, the tactic there obviously, you've got to use it to steer, but then also as the weapon. So very difficult to do. Yeah. But obviously someone has grown up on the river in Mildura. Yeah, sure.

But I'm probably. Exactly, yes. Unfortunately, Sean, you are up against the awesome force. Yeah. So you are fast. Oh, no. Rest in pace, Sean. Ooh, is this event sponsored by Galban Valley?

Yes. Peaches, mangoes, peaches. Some references for the overseas listeners there. And finally I'd love to thank from Address Unknown. I can only assume it's deep within the fortress of the Molly Mals. And we should really say right now, our future mole over the world are listening. We welcome you. We welcome you.

We love you. We respect you. Obviously our podcast can be used to round up other people to work in your Molly, Molly Kelly. And this one goes out to the moles, toy to toy. So from address unknown, I'd love to think Tim not. Adress is known, Tim not is my uncle. Oh, it's Uncle Tim.

Did you want to share that information with Matt and I? I get a Tim. Yeah, but I know where he lives. And it's number eight. Thanks for your support, Uncle Tim, that's lovely. Yeah, great uncle. Not great, like he's in, he's a great, Really good uncle.

A really good uncle. Oh, okay, great, wasn't sure which way that was killing. I'd love to thank Tim. Nah. So he hasn't had that. He's in tire life. I'm gonna step out of this one. Okay, okay, because you guys can choose,

I don't want to be part of it. Tim, can you give us a clue clue give us something to work with you Like what what do you want? I mean because we want Tim to win this what what would be something that he would be really good at? Okay, well He's he's a very good singer. He's in a band. Okay, so we could yeah this could be This is just a band. Okay, so we could, yeah, this could be a duet's style. The Battle of the Bands, kind of. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. So Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow are up against Tim Nott and who's Tim's second? That's tough. Maybe Gladys Nott. Okay. So he, Tim's playing the role of the Pips. Who's your money on? Oh, gratis and Tim, no doubt. Triple threat. No doubt. Huey Lewis unfortunately has got

an ear issue. Minis disease. So he's yeah, he's not able to sing. Which I didn't when I put him up for the role. I didn't really, I was just, because there was a film that I've never seen called Jouettes, where he sang a Jouette with Gwyneth Paltrow. But yeah, he can't really sing anymore. So it's all up in the box, see? It's all up to Gwyn. Yeah. Gwyn's doing both parts.

Yes. Oh, good luck, Gwyn. Very talented. Yeah, she's great singer, but Tim's better. So. Good luck. Good luck, Uncle Tim. Good luck, Uncle Tim. better. So. So what do you do? Good luck Uncle Tim. What do you do? And as Matt would say.

Toit toitoy. Toit toitoy. Toit toitim. Can I thank some people as well? Two Tim so far. Cheers for it. We're on a Tim streak here. Can we get any more Tim?

But only one of them is related to me. Okay, which one? Is that Uncle Tim? It's Uncle Tim. Oh, the other one. Uncle Tim is related to me. I would love to thank from Brunswick East in Victoria, Michael Russell.

Oh, Michael Russell. Michael Russell, Russell, Russelling up a good feed. Yes. Oh, okay, there. Knives. Knives. Kitchen knives.

It's a kitchen knife. Chop off. Chop off. As opposed to, we've got to be very clear, this is chopping people's knives. This isn't getting you dicks Yeah, I suppose we'll chop out yeah, but you are getting you dicks out and then chopping them with knives. Oh Each others. Yes That's that's the end goal. Imagine the jewel is you got a cut off your end dick I you know what I surrender. It's all right. I'll live in shame. I'll let you take the first shot here

You know what I surrender. It's all right. I'll live in shame. I'll let you pay the first shot here. Yeah. It's a mile off. Okay, so yeah, Michael Russell. Okay, no penises involved. No shopping vegetables. Shopping vegetables. Something boring.

Yeah, you got to burn wire them. Is that a chop? I don't like it. What's that mean? In beer pioneer, one time I did a session with a chef and he taught me how to chop. And I think Brunois might have been, as they they're cooking, they were a chopping thing.

Juliet. Juliet. Juliet. Juliet is chopping. Yeah, maybe it was Juliet. Maybe Brunois might have been something else. All right, there you go. Can't wait to get an email about that one.

Ah, so Michael Russell and the TROP off. I'd also love to thank from Dublin, in Dublin, Christopher, McCann. Christopher, how about fighting with a, it's a pocket full of sand, jewel. Oh, it's a sand into the eye. Trying to throw a heap of sand until the other person dies.

Wow. They could be there a while. You got big pockets, like the other person dies. Wow. That could be their while. You got big pockets, like Coggets. Big pockets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Many pockets. Crystal Mimican has got like, there's, there's, yeah, military cargo pants with like 16 pockets.

So the other guy's like, oh, I only wore short. Yeah, no, that's the biggest mistake. When it gets the title of Sandman. Yeah. It's nice. Funny, but the title of Sandman. That's great. That's really good. And Christopher is, of course, going to be successful. Yeah, Christopher can, Sandman.

Um, finally for me, I would love to thank from Spring Hill in, I want to say Tennessee TN. Yeah. There's only two teas, Tennessee and Texas. Texas, TX. Um, I would love to thank Lindsay Barker. Barker. It's a dog off. Okay, so you got you've got a select it's sort of like or what I understand Pokemon to be which Dave you grew up with. Love it. So but instead of pocket monsters you've got pocket dogs and you go I select I choose you. I wish I could carry my dog around it a little bit That's cute until the dogs start attacking each other. Yeah, but I mean those Dog fighting dog fighting yeah

Dogfight as a legal back shed dog fighting but just rebranded with Pokemon Yeah, Dave. Do you think Humphrey has any kind of killer instinct in him? Well, he woke up at 5 am this morning for reasons unknown and just started barking up and down the hall. Okay. So, yes, I did. Yeah, right. Goose barked at a possum on our roof the other day. That was very cute. Hell yeah. And it kind of scared the possum off and I was like, thanks dude, that's been really annoying all night. Good work. Yeah, he certainly raised my killer instinct. What the fuck? What the fuck? So we'll call you a dick. Yeah. Get me real horny. Barking down the way at 5am. Oh, nothing hotter.

I'm so sorry. What if we chose anything for audience? Yes, Pokemon, yes, Scotch. Yeah, Pokemon dogs. Yeah, great. Pokemon dogs. All right, Dave, do you want to thank some people? I would love to.

I'd love to thank from Toledo in Ohio. Oh God country. I'd like to thank Zachary Morris. Zachary Morris. Now, in those batteries of a person that doesn't muck around because he's written in his name in all caps. Yeah, so it's got to be something full on. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you should add that his name's actually Zachary Morris. And, weapon of choice, monster trucks. Oh, fuck yes. A duel in monster trucks. Yeah, it's like, what was the, the medieval sport from a night's tale, jousting, jousting in monster trucks?

Oh, that is so good. Yeah, thank you. Oh, I love it. So just real big jousts? Yeah, huge jousts, because it's got to be in proportion with monsters. I thought it was just like a little antenna. It'd be like, what's that on that monster truck? Yeah.

So it is in proportion and it will fuck you up. Yeah, right. Zachary Morris, monster truck jasting. I wish you all the best. That's sick actually. I'm really proud of that one. That's really cool. I would like to of that one. That's really cool. I would like to thank now from Hayward in California,

it is Chad Poris. Chad Poris. Chad Poris. That's a great name. So it went from Zach Morris to Chad Poris. Ah! I like this. All right, this is a challenge Tetris Jewel.

Oh, okay. So, and it starts where it's already like half the screen is already clogged up. So it's just that last hectic bitch. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. So whoever lasts longer than that. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, toy, toy, toy, toy, bitch.

Yeah. Have mercy, toy, toy, toy. Chad Poros, my money's on you. I reckon you've got the Tetris brain. Yeah. Big time. Thank you so much. And finally, I'd like to thank from Bonnie Thin in Canberra.

It is Jaden Black. Jaden Black. It is a, that just gives me like a real rock and roll kind of. Oh, Jen Black. So I'm thinking like a riff off electric guitars. And then when you've done your riff, you smash the guitar over each other's heads. Yeah. Okay.

So you've got to get through a riff. And then smash the guitar. And what about, is it the same riff? So if you get to it quicker than the other person, you can start hitting them whilst they're still playing through the riff. Yeah. Because you can't start attacking. He's still like You can't retaliate until you finish the riff. I don't make the rules never Except to be hitting someone over the head. Was it was it the jack black?

Is what connection? Yeah, maybe it's because I cause I'm thinking, I was thinking Blackboard. I'm like, it's a dust off. Show us where our heads are at. Your rock star on dusting off a Blackboard. Probably because Blackboard's in existence. You're a kid. Thanks so much, Dan Black. And the last thing we like to do is

thank a few of our long-term supporters in the Triptage Club, the way this works is if you're supporting us for three years straight on the shout out level or above, then we welcome you into the Triptage Club. It's a beautiful place where everyone is just happy. And sexy. And sexy, yes. I thought they value you, but they just happy. And sexy. And sexy, yes. It's not their value, but they just feel good in themselves.

That's right. I mean, this place exists in our hearts, but also physically, we move it around this week, Jess, whereabouts is? It is in your butt. It's in your butt. Whoa! It's in your butt.

So it's in your heart, in your butt. Yeah. And the way this works is I've got the doorless. So I'm standing on the door. I'm gonna read out your name, I'll lift the valve rope. You'll come in, then Dave will hop you up. Because you, I mean, you come in feeling good.

It's the tripage club, baby. Yeah. Yeah, you made it. So that's what you wanna be. Takes a lot for Dave to hop you up. So then Jess has Dave's back. Gives him a little shush as well, little hop. He's got a little shush on his tush. And Jess also has a few drinks, a few cocktails,

and Dave has a band, who's what kind of drinks we got? We've got the Joule special. Oh yeah. There's specials, I should say, there's Sapphire, it's green, it's got Madurian it. There's... Which is weak, because that's a blue diamond.

Sapphire, yes, I meant to say emerald, but we have emerald as well. That way, just fucking with you as well. We've got Ruby. Is Sapphire blue? I think they're clear. Yes, dammit. I went so comfortable.

Sapphire, no, I'm thinking the wrong one. Sapphire is a blue. You're thinking of glass, Dave. I always think of glass. But that is the situation. And food wise, we have everything is in the shape of a hand in all the eyes to jewels. Hand sandwiches.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I'm sorry, I'm thinking of a white sapphire, which does exist. Oh, shut up. Shut up, you like that. I'm thinking of a white sapphire, which does exist. Oh, shut up! Shut up, you lads. I'm actually thinking of white gold. I'm actually thinking of a clear glass. Shut up, you lads.

And Dave, what band have you got playing? Well, Jess is going to be pretty excited that we've got not only Jule, but also Jessica Simpson together. Yes! Again, at last. Finally. We're united. We've been waiting. And the cast of the sapphires. Oh very good I went over your head on that one Dave

He's like no I said So we've got six inductees this week. Let's get to it on the dollist welcome in from West Hills in California in the United States Drew Paisna. Oh, drew you here was a great time Great times now. Yes. Yes, nice from a Stockton in New South Wales Australia. It's taken doozy. Oh This now it's gonna be a doozy It's just that this now it's gonna be a teagin Which is what I call good things From a Clovis in California and then it you know, it's it's Ian Goodlock. Oh good luck in the three bears

Good luck and the three hell yes From overland Park in Kansas, I reckon in the United States, Savannah, Floyd. Oh, I'm a fan of Savannah. It's Dave. From New Haven, in CET. Connecticut, I reckon in the United States, it's Jordan Gage. We're going by the Gage. We're going to have a good time.

That's my gauge. And finally from highlands ranch in Colorado in the United States. It's Nick Oh Philan root with Nick Loo So welcome in Nick Jordan Savannah a and Tegan Andrew He didn't even need me that time Dave you nailed that you are really lifting me up there Matt. No stuffing about you

I'm nothing Well, yeah, that's true all the time, but particularly at this bottom just saying you did well Hey Dave, how many sea states in America? I think we got three of them in that in that small group then whoa California Herekin Connecticut Colorado. Oh, is that one other? It doesn't matter all right. I mean it matters to them probably. Kiss a sippy. Kiss a sippy. Cumexico. Oh, kiss a sippy. That's where I want to boo. So that brings us to the end of the episode. We made it everyone. Can you believe it? I can.

Because we always do. Here at do-go-on headquarters. Yeah, I'm just looking it up so we don't get people pissed off. There are three teams, we did it! Remember the three Cs? We got them all. Amazing. That's special. Hey, thanks to everyone that supports the show on patreon.com such dooga on pod or doogaon pod.com. You hold special places in our hearts. And yeah, we really do a bar show. Yeah. Come on down to the club.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. We'll be back next week with another one. But if you wanna stay in touch with us between now and then you can follow us at do go on pod on social medias. Do go on pod.com has links to all that sort of stuff as well as merchandise. And yeah, we've got a few gigs coming out.

I hope there'll be a few more shows on the horizon to keep your eyes peeled for that. We always announce those. First to Patreon and then to onto social media and on the show. We've got to get to New Zealand. Yeah. Oh, gosh, that's some of those accents.

Yeah. See, that'll be poise. Poise. Hello, Tom. Hello, full. Bit of a classic bit. Is that if you see Tim and Phil? That's if I see Tim and Phil Yeah, I think as far as I Tony Martin's old show

Made clear there quite big on the radio there. Okay, Tom and full gotcha Drive show ah They do pranks and stuff. We're doing a prank call today They do pranks and stuff. We're doing a prank call today. We're calling up the Moss & Parsons department to report our Moss & Jandals. Sorry, this is a Moss & Parsons department. This is for Moss & Parsons. Moss & Jandals are a comfy bit of footwear.

Come on, we're going to try this out on the road. Muscle and jandles are comfy but a footwear. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts. Multitask right now, quote today at progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, national average 12 months savings of $744

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