Two In The Think Tank - 305 - Sea-Monkeys
Episode Date: August 25, 2021Promoted as "the real live fun pets you grow yourself" Sea-Monkeys took the world by storm in the 1960s. Essentially brine shrimp delivered by mail after being advertised in comic books, it was market...ing genius. Generation after generation were captivated by the idea of the little creatures but then in the late 1980s creator Harold von Braunhut's extremely controversial views came to light. Throw in X-Ray specs and a lawsuit over the Sea-Monkey fortune and you've got a wild story.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Get a ticket to our show at the Great Australian Podcast Festival on Nov 6: https://bit.ly/DGOgapfFor tickets to Matt's Live Shows: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Buy tickets for our screening of The Mummy on September 10: https://www.lidocinemas.com.au/mummyStream our 300th episode with extra quiz (and 16 other episodes with bonus content): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoon Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Check out Matt’s Beer show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej4TUguJL58 Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: dogoonpod@gmail.com Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/642405/sea-monkeys-history https://www.theawl.com/2011/06/the-shocking-true-tale-of-the-mad-genius-who-invented-sea-monkeys/ https://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/17/magazine/the-battle-over-the-sea-monkey-fortune.html https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2000-oct-01-tm-29473-story.html https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/local/1988/04/25/contrasts-of-a-private-persona/de3976fc-c0b0-4448-8e22-3c6d2edf593e/ https://www.smh.com.au/national/a-fortune-from-sea-monkeys-and-x-ray-spex-20040102-gdi32l.htmlhttps://www.flatirondistrict.nyc/discover-flatiron/flatiron-history/21/henri-lamothehttps://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/19/nyregion/thecity/19fyi.htmlhttps://academickids.com/encyclopedia/index.php/Harold_von_Braunhuthttps://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligence-report/2004/hitler-and-sea-monkeyshttps://boingboing.net/2020/07/09/the-legal-battle-over-those-no.htmlhttps://seamonkeys.fandom.com/wiki/Harold_von_Braunhuthttps://www.sea-monkeys.com.au/pages/historyhttps://www.sea-monkeys.com/sea-monkey-set-up-instructions/sea-monkeys-handbook/https://www.sea-monkeys.com/what-is-a-sea-monkey/https://www.smh.com.au/national/a-fortune-from-sea-monkeys-and-x-ray-spex-20040102-gdi32l.htmlhttps://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/national-sea-monkey-day-explain-means-article-1.3167943 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure
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Hello and welcome to another episode of do go on my name is Dave Warnke and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello, everybody. My name is Dave.
Oh, that's how I should have started it.
Go again.
I've been saying that literally for years
and you've never started it the way I've suggested it.
Well, let me start it again.
Hello, everybody. My name is Dave.
I'm here with Jess and Matt and my best friend Ray.
Hello, Ray. That's you, Matt. Hello.
Great to be here with Jess, Matt and Ray. Can I ask not Ray, not Matt, but Jess, how the hell does
this show work? That is bullshit and unfair. Just because before we started recording, Matt reminded
you that he had to explain it last week. And so now you're like, oh, keep it fair. Um, look, I'll tell you how this works only because I'm a professional.
What we do here at DoGo on headquarters is we take it in turns, going away. We fuck right
off. We go to our own homes. We research a topic usually suggested by a listener. Um, we
bring that research back to the other two who politely listen, slash interrupt, slash
riff, slash make some jokes.
And throughout the process, we live, we laugh, we learn.
And we usually get on to topic with a question.
Absolutely beautiful words there, Jess.
Thank you.
And my question for both of you is, what product was marketed with the tagline?
Marjorine.
Sally's no more gaffer.
Two great inventions.
I'll give you that.
Interchangeable as well.
That's the beauty of those two.
Graduring ill-filled gaps.
Yeah.
Sally's is a beautiful spread.
Well, you've both had an answer
so you get to come back in.
What product was marketed with the tagline,
the real live fun pets you grow yourself?
Sea monkeys.
It is sea monkeys.
Fuck.
Well done.
How could you possibly have a topic about sea monkeys?
Well, that is the thing.
It is quite a story.
Really?
Surprisingly so. Yes. I see, it feels like the kind of thing I only know from the Simpsons is quite a story. Really? Surprisingly so. Yes.
It feels like the kind of thing I only know from the Simpsons or something like that.
Have you guys ever had sea monkeys?
No, I don't know what they are.
I've had them. That's what stood out to me in the hat.
Yes, I got the sea monkeys showbag when I was in maybe prep or grade one.
Bring back to your bag. Did you have sea monkeys fever?
Yes. I also definitely had them at an age appropriate time and not in my late teens.
Absolutely. Did you wasn't at the show, Bay?
No, I think I purposely sought out sea monkeys.
And how'd you go? Did you grow them?
I think I got bored. Oh no.
Yeah. Did you flush them?
I think they probably got flushed, yeah. I don't really remember, but I remember sort of being like,
ah, these are a bit weird looking out there,
and I flushed them.
Right.
But I wish them well wherever they are now.
Yeah, yeah.
So are they like, I mean,
Dave's really an explainer,
but I'm picturing small aquatic monkeys.
Yes.
Yeah, you've absolutely nailed it.
Yeah, they have small aquatic monkeys.
Well, what you've done with on them, Matt, is exactly what they want you to imagine. Yes. Yeah, you've absolutely nailed it. Yeah, they have small aquatic monkeys. What you've stumbled on there, Matt, is exactly what they want you to imagine.
Okay.
That's good marketing.
It's, honestly, it is incredible marketing, which we will get to.
And surprisingly, this topic has been suggested by multiple people.
So I'd like to shout out to Bernard and Tonyo Vera McAfry, what a name.
From Bristol, Megan Power from Sydney.
That was all one.
That was all one.
That is one person, Bernard Antonio Vera McAfry.
Oh my goodness, that is a fantastic name.
Oh, I was wondering why you both didn't react to it.
I'm like, that is one of the best we've ever had.
You gave him nothing.
That is a hall of fame.
I thought that was four people.
Yeah, I did too.
I thought you just ripping through names. I thought none of them had given a surname. I thought that was four people. Yeah, I did too. I thought you were just ripping through names.
I thought none of them had given a surname.
These were just first names only.
And they were all incredible first names.
Yeah.
So that's one person for Bristol.
Also, Megan Power from Sydney.
Also, good night.
Look now, I'm going to feel guilty
if I don't tell everyone's going to go.
That is a great name.
Megan Power, fantastic.
It's incredible.
Julie Bay from Iowa.
Oh, Julie Bay, my bag.
Yes.
Matt Ridley from Newcastle.
Oh, the Red Love, love this guy.
Love his work, love his name.
This has become the end of the show where I give bad reactions to people's names.
And finally, from Essendon and Hatfield in the United Kingdom, Adam Stamford.
Oh, old Stamford, you Stamford, I'm stand for you, Stanford. I'm your stan, man.
All right, now we get on to the show from here, is that right, Dave?
Yeah, that's right.
People fear not.
If you're researching C. monkeys and you want the info, here it starts.
And it all starts with Harold von Braunhut, who was born in Memphis, Tennessee on March 31, 1926.
Oh, good to hear.
Is there anything good about that year?
I mean, AFL-related facts.
1926, that was in the middle of one of the St. Big
Premiership Drows.
Well, that too.
One was from 1893 to 1996, but 1966, sorry.
And then the other one was from 1967 till today.
So, yeah, 1926 was right in the heart of the first one.
It was mostly drought, though.
I actually zoned out.
Okay, well, all you need to know is this guy called Harold von Braunhut. From Memphis, his mother's
family was in the toy business. His father had a printing shop. Okay. And amazingly
in his life he will combine both professions in a way but he moved to New York
City where he stayed until the 1980s and to be honest, apart from that little is
known about his career before his discovery of the humble sea monkey.
Oh, discovery. Not even an invention. He discovered them in a natural habitat.
Oh, it's a real King Kong kind of thing, isn't it? He found him. He wanted to take him
back to the big city, make a pretty penny off them. Oh my God, Harold, what's your face?
You have a real penny off them. Oh my God, Harold, what's your face? You are a real piece of shit.
You wanted a giant sea monkey to fight a giant ape.
Ha ha ha ha.
Sally, you never got there.
But he did dabble in a few Atlantis careers.
These are a few dot points on his laugh that we know about him.
He worked as a magician called the Amazing Telepo.
Telepo.
Yes.
The Amazing Telepo. What I buy a ticket to see the Amazing Telepo. Telepo. Yes. The Amazing Telepo.
What I buy a ticket to see the Amazing Telepo.
Probably.
Yeah, strongness.
Because it's up to you.
I wouldn't have had much else on.
Well, back in those days,
that you said just go and look at the train going past.
You know, that was end of time back then.
Yeah, so there was a magician.
I'd be like, yeah, you know, that was end of time back then. Yeah, so there was, there was a magician to tell. I'd be like, uh, yeah, you had me at amazing.
Yeah, the train that I was platformers deserted that day.
He raced motorcycles under the name of the green hornet.
Oh, that's cool name.
Was that before Marvel or DC or whoever came up with the character of the green hornet?
That's a DC I think. It's hard to say because these things, it's little is known about it.
Dave, I was, I don't know why you're answering this, I was asking our local superhero expert,
Jess Perkins.
A.K.A. Shehalk herself. I would say it is after.
Right.
And so therefore he is a big old rip off.
What a dog.
Yeah, just another strike against this guy.
Personally, so far I hate him.
And you're right, Jess.
The Green Hornet was a fictional character
created in 1936 by George W. Trendle and Fran Striker.
I mean, there is a chance being born in 1926 that he raced as a seven or eight year old.
That's true. That is true. There is a chance. There is a chance.
He also worked as a TV producer. That's you Dave. Thank you. That's why I really,
was former's off in this guy. Actually, I shouldn't be saying that.
We were so much off on this guy actually shouldn't be saying that as we'll learn later on. He was an agent.
Hang on, is my initial instinct about this guy pretty accurate?
We'll find out together.
See monkey works is a pretty good euphemism for the sea bomb as well.
What a sea monkey this guy is.
What a sea monkey.
Yeah.
That's an apt description of this guy is. What a sea monkey. Yeah.
That's an apt description of this guy.
He was also an agent though.
You know, he knows a good idea.
He knows a good act for a guy called Henry Lamoth.
I mean, the moth in French.
He was one of those guys who high-dived from great heights,
like 40 feet. Oh, like a moth would.
What are we going to do yourself the moth for a high diving act?
They flutter about and jump into a water from a heart. It makes no sense.
It doesn't make it. He said it's just got an idiot. He was one of those guys so that jump
really like 40 feet and then belly flopped into a blow up kids pool with like 30 centimetres of water
in there. Yeah, but was there a bright life that he was attracted to?
That's in the pool.
Or balls also attracted to balls.
Well, specifically, balls.
Not my balls, which I found out the hard way.
Come here.
Come here.
Put them on display.
Peanut butter?
What?
You got the hard way, Dave.
No, Dave, you got a lot of them up.
It's very lots around those bad boys.
Very lots. Well, I wish I had thought of that when he said the light em up because that's not what I did.
Very painful discovery. So he managed a guy who every year
would jump in front of the flat trron building in New York City on his birthday
and each year to crease the amount of water continuing until his 70th birthday in 1974.
He jumped into one single drop of water. He died that day. The day before when it had two drops fine,
day. The day before when it did two drops fine, but turns out that second drop was really important. It's really soft on the blow.
Get me man as he's limits. This guy, he got a Guinness World record for his efforts. He
died in 1987 at the age of 83. He'd only suffered one high-diving injury in his life, according to his wife, Burget, who said,
uh, once he hurt his nose.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
He hurt his nose, did he?
Yeah.
Okay.
So anyway.
And who was that?
This isn't the-
This isn't a monkey man.
This is the guy managed by the monkey man,
because he knows a good idea.
He knows a good talent when he sees it.
But then, in the 1950s and 60s,
Von Braunhardt began the career
that would make him his fortune.
He became an American male-order marketer, taking out patents on 196 different inventions, gadgets and toys that he marketed at the back of comic books.
That was, before it all took a very, very dark turn.
He wasn't the X-rays specs guy, was he?
He is the X-rays guy.
He's the X-rays guy.
I'm serious.
That's amazing.
Before we get to the dark turn,
some of the other novelties that he invented
over the years and marketed to kids were,
number one of written here, Matt, is X-rays.
No kidding.
Incredible.
That's another thing from what the Simpsons wrote, but had it on the back of his
comisee.
What do you end up buying something that maybe even X-rays spec?
Yeah, he sent away and then it was really shit.
Yeah.
Which often I think is what I'm in the kids.
Of course, the advertisement claimed that the wearer could see through clothing and flesh.
The product has appealed to generations of curious adolescent boys.
Okay.
Perth.
Okay.
It was marketed as quote,
loads of laughs and fun at parties.
How?
How so?
What does it do?
Not much.
It doesn't do anything.
So how is it fun at parties?
Well, what about this?
He had another invention called crazy crabs.
Yeah, been there.
Yeah.
They were simply hermit crabs in a cardboard box sent to you.
Oh my God.
Is it crab delivery service?
Yep.
Poor crabs.
Oh no, poor crabs.
How about amazing hair raising monsters?
A card with a printed monster that would grow hair, aka
mineral crystals that sprouted when water was added.
Seems like the first one that's something.
Yeah, I guess.
HIP-no-specs, which are promised to put people under your control.
Yeah, you've got to pay attention to all of these things.
Yeah, yeah.
They were pretty loose with payments back then, I think.
Because in reality, they're just spinning discs
on the front of a pair of glasses.
No, Dave.
They would put people under your control.
With your spinning disc, all right, all right, I get it.
My favorite of his inventions was invisible goldfish.
That's clever.
Oh, my God, that is incredible.
All it was was a glass bowl.
It was empty except having a few plants in it.
And a sign that said, invisible goldfish do not feed.
That's very good.
The whole thing came with a printed guarantee
that you'd never ever see them.
That's far, it's far pretty funny.
Do you have to add water yourself?
Yeah, you have to.
It doesn't, it doesn't come with water.
Be aware of water. BIO water.
How are the fish alive then?
Ha ha, yes.
That is a good call.
I'm sorry, I'm about to get this guy.
It finally answers Millhouse's question, why to have the ball, but why to have the ball?
Invisible golf.
But his most successful novelty was, of course,
sea monkeys.
He realized that it was all about having a good idea
and then implementing smart marketing
to sell that idea.
The product initially called Instant Life
and sold for 49 cents a pop.
That sucks.
Instant life.
But the bad first round. Now, that's not going on.
My Christmas wish list is it. What do you want for your birthday, little Jesse? I want some
instant life. I want instant death. That's your god, your little god sister.
Kill me. She's a bit full on, honestly. She's a little bit full on.
He was inspired by the success of Uncle Milton's ant farm.
And Von Braunhut came up with the idea of marketing and mailing instant life to kids.
Okay.
According to Mental Floss, in 1957, Von Braunhut walked into a pet store and noticed a bucket
filled with brine shrimp.
It was meant to be used as fish food technically called Artymia Salina, which is a species of brine shrimp found in salt lakes.
The thing about this species of shrimp is that they can exist in a state of suspended animation known technically as crypto-biosis. What happens is they shut down their metabolic processes
in the absence of water, basically nature's version
of carbonite freezing.
And the purpose of this is they can survive in this state
for years and years if a lake dries up.
Wow, that's some sweet evolution.
Yeah, so like, you know, the lake dries up,
they just go, they hibernate basically
and hibernation for the years and years until it rains again
and then they sprout in your life.
Wow.
But when water is reintroduced, the shell hatches
and the creature with one eye emerges.
That's cool.
As they mature, they develop a second eye.
Oh, okay.
You happy now? Just a second eye. Oh, okay. You happy now?
Just a disgusted.
Ha ha.
That'd be a fun way to grow.
Like, you know, if humans went that way,
we'd be like, oh, as a teen,
his arms are coming in.
Yeah.
Yes.
Look at that big boy with his arms.
He's going ears.
He's going to start knowing what we were saying all these years.
Oi!
You got no ears, but we can't, you know,
come bother really saying that anymore.
Yeah, well, we'll have to go out with new jokes.
I guess that's fun, isn't it?
Personally, I'm still waiting for my arms to come in.
Well, we know, buddy, any day now.
Any day now this place boss has a bump in. Well, we know, buddy. Any day now. Any day now, this place was a pump.
Never skip arm day, Dave.
Well, legs are huge.
So the idea hit Harold.
What if he could mail these creatures
in their suspended animation to kids who add water at home,
and then the creatures would come to life
before their very eyes?
A recalling the flee circuses of his youth
where people would willingly believe
in talented fleas that obviously didn't exist, Von Braunhut immediately saw a potential
for selling the tiny translucent shrimps as instant pets, which could easily be sent
through the poster without any concern about the animal's welfare. So that's the idea.
But he actually wasn't the first to market an idea like this.
A big company called WAM-O, which I love.
Very good.
Sold similar products before this called instant fish,
but it was a massive dud.
They used African-killie fish,
which didn't really come back to life when they should have.
The kids got them in the mail and added water
and they didn't really come back. That's, yeah, that's a brutal gift. He's a dead fish.
And just said water and it'll stay dead. They've got a wet dead fish.
Hey, happy birthday. Just checking actually this little goth sisters,
this actually included a dead fish for Christmas.
So yeah, she is honestly a concern. She's stoked. Yeah, we are worried about it, but so happy
as we've seen her in months. So I think I play with your dead wet fish.
It's drawing a dead wet fish around there. She's like, yes, That's our little freak. The instant fish was a dud, but Von Braunhut had a better product.
These weren't just any Brian shrimp.
No, he only works with the best.
For example, that man that jumped off a ladder into a bucket.
Yeah, only the best.
According from a great New York Times article about Jack Hit,
that I'll of course link in the show notes,
he worked with a marine biologist named Anthony Di Agostino
and using a process that he flamboyantly called Super homogenation,
they created a hybrid brine shrimp that could easily survive the United States Postal Service,
be more likely to flourish after reanimation.
I like that as a specific thing you have to survive.
The US Postal Service doesn't get more brittle than that.
What do you mean I can't ship a dog?
They worked with the Brian Trim species, Artemia Salina, the one from the bucket.
And because they made the breakthrough at Montauk's NYOSL, the New York Ocean Sciences Laboratory, they called their new hybrid
Artemia NIOS NYOS.
They were selectively bred in the early 70s so that they would have this extra long
dormant cycle in their egg state and they were able to slowly increase that.
So that meant over time they created a super seaman key.
Super seaman key becomes too powerful. Too self aware.
Too dormant.
Super seaman key is like, father, what am I?
Oh no. Oh god. Just supposed to be something fun I can ship to kids.
What am I picturing? So this is, is this still krill or whatever it was?
What was it, bril brine? Now what was it?
Brine, yeah, that's the very small and they grow to a couple of centimetres max.
Yeah, which is probably why Jess was disappointed in her 20s.
I imagine the more like tiny little sea horses and they don't look like that.
Yeah, I guess they're like their little fairly sea-thru.
Yeah, they're just, they're very small.
Yeah, they're just kind of scoot around.
How did you get to monkeys?
Ah, that's all in the marketing, Matthew.
Because he's got the product.
What about the marketing?
Well, it's all in the marketing, Mark, good man.
He's got a great product.
That's what he said. If He's got a great product.
That's what he said.
He's got a great product, which is...
He's got a product that we'll serve over the mail.
All right, I can give that to kids.
Now, I've just got to get him to want this piece of shit.
No, I got a mark at the shit out of it.
Unlike the toy companies that were selling in toy shops,
he decided to market directly to children,
taking out ads in the back of comic books.
He would later say, quote, I did 303 million
pages of advertising a year. Advertising. Advertising a year. Wow. Advertising and advertising.
Far out. This guy covers all bases, yeah. This was much cheaper than the expensive TV commercials
that the larger toy companies at the time were making. All people had to do was send the money to the address in the comic book ad and
their instant life would arrive in the mail. What kids would get in the mail was two sashays.
That's where fun always comes from sashays. Kids always very excited when something that
looks like a KFC refresher talent arrives in the man. One was the so-called nutrient pack, the other was the eggs.
The instructions stated that they should first put the nutrients in the tank, the tank
of water should add.
And then 24 hours later, then add in the eggs.
That's not a military tank, is that what you're...
I have to stress, do not put the nutrients in a military tank.
That is how we will lose our civilization. These things are already self-aware and they
give them a weapon. This is how super soldiers begin.
So you put the nutrients in first. That's interesting. Is it? There's a reason for that
chance. Okay. The first packet, which is called the nutrients, he said that they won't live without this.
The first packet actually had a few eggs in it, and the second had more eggs, but then
also die in it.
And that made the first eggs that had suddenly more visible, so you add the eggs in, and
it looks like it instantly comes to life.
But really, for 24 hours, it's been quietly bubbling away. Oh. But you only see it because he's added dye to the water.
Sneaky.
Sneaky.
So you feel like a god because it's coming to life before you've arisen but really they've
been hatching over the last 24 hours.
Very clever.
And so then you're adding eggs, you're adding more eggs so then more will hatch.
Yeah, that's right.
The next couple of days you'll have heaps more but you'll get a few at first to capture your imagination instant gratification because kids and
Teenage Jess don't have an adult just don't have a lot of patience
These things so if it's not happening immediately. It's like well, I hate this thing
Throw away the tank. I hate this pet. It's dumb.
Where would these little guys normally be existing day?
But they confused when they come to and they're in a kid's bedroom.
What level of consciousness do they have, Dave?
Rather than in a lake.
Yeah.
Let's get on here.
Why might die at a certain color?
Hang on a second.
When I fell asleep I was in New York. Now I'm in Washington certain color? Hang on a second. When I fell asleep, I was in New York,
and now I'm in Washington.
What's going on?
Yeah.
In 1964, Von Braunhut changed the name
from Instant Life to C-Monkeys, calling them that
because according to him, they have a tale
that looks like it could belong to a monkey.
Okay.
It could.
Hey, it could.
It could.
That tale looks like it could belong to a monkey. So...
No, not in the way that that monkey could have that kind of tail. They might just buy a tail
like that and then owe that kind of tail. Yeah, it could. If the monkey worked really hard and saved up its money and went to the tail shop and bought
a tail that looks like that.
Okay, there's a world in which a monkey could have a tail that looks like that.
So...
One of his 196 patents was a fake monkey tale that you can send away for.
Wait, now is that true?
That is not true, but it could be true.
It could be, that could be.
That would honestly, that would be one of his better ones.
Now, I just want to check in briefly with our resident amateur
primatologist, Matt Stewart.
How do you feel about him calling him a monk?
Well, I don't like throwing around the O word, but I am offended.
I was like, what is the other guy?
I am having an orgasm.
I'm related to what Dave is asking me.
If everyone could just give me five to ten minutes.
Honestly, on primates, we did get pretty loose with the definition.
We did a whole episode about the Mandalorian and Star Wars because briefly there was an
alien character that was called a, I can't remember, a monkey lizard or something.
It was like a puppet and we said that's enough.
But I think even I draw the line
at these same monk, is there an abomination?
I am offended.
Yeah, no, Dave, is that what you're expecting?
Yeah, honestly, I thought you were gonna flip it.
I am furious.
Have you ever seen me this mad before?
No.
I'm scared.
Me too.
It's okay, Matt, it's all right.
It's okay.
Hey, hey.
Kids deserve better.
Hey, kids deserve better.
Kids do deserve better.
Marankees deserve better.
Yeah, whatever these little bacteria things are, deserve better.
Well, so he's changed the name.
See you, Marankees.
He had comic book illustrator and future vice president of DC Comics.
Oh, okay. I thought it was going to and future vice president of DC Comics. Oh, okay.
I thought it was going to be future vice president of America.
Future vice president Al Gore.
Is web up a little bit of fire?
Future vice president of DC Comics, a guy called Joe Orlando,
draw up some illustrations of C monkey characters that helped
bring the fantasy to life. Joe Orlando. Right name. Fantastic, Narek.
Cool. Joe Orlando. That's not real. That's not real. That's not real.
That can't be real. No one's born into such a good name. It would be unfair.
Yeah. I call him Joe Lando. Sounds like the quarterback at a very, very successful high school football team.
Oh, yeah. And then he, like, he gets a college scholarship and he gets, you know, first round
draft into the NRL.
He's nothing else in NRL.
Yeah, he's just going to play in rugby.
He's a talented, he can play going to be different guy.
He's actually very talented.
I was expecting that sort of just stayed positive.
I thought you were going to say did his knee, but...
No, I was just going to say he was going to be on an incredible contract, millions of
dollars.
Yeah, now he's retired.
He's part-time coaching the national squad as well as doing special comments for ESPN.
But also just a really good dad.
And a great guy.
And a great, great boy.
He retired and he's still obviously a big, big
in the community and obviously still involved in the sport
because he loves it.
It's his passion.
But number one, family.
Yeah, and he put very hands on dad does the school drop off.
He started playing golf because his son was keen and then he ended up becoming a great golfer
as well. Just everything he touches tends to gold.
Did you tell the good attitude about it as well, you know?
It's just a real sort of very grateful for the life that he has and doesn't take it for granted, really down to earth.
And yeah, like his sons do ballet.
And so he was like, I'm going to do ballet too, because like, fuck gender norms, you know what?
And that's beautiful.
And now you can curtie like nothing else.
Oh my god.
Is the curtsie the one where they've just been around?
No. I mean, no, no.
Um, but it's unrelated. I mean, you can.
Peruit. Peruit. And he does that. And he's all amazing.
We, something Jess and I haven't mentioned. Incredibly beautiful. But it's not the first thing you notice
because you're such a beautiful energy. Yes, he's warm.
You might not notice,
because he's constantly piroued,
so you don't quite get a good look of his face.
And Ketzing.
And he's not like,
you wouldn't hear any of this from him.
No, you're serving up.
You know, you meet him and you're like,
oh my God, that's Joe Orlando.
And all he wants to talk about is you.
He just wants to hear all about your interests,
your family. It doesn't even
really talk straight away about like what you do for work because he knows we're all so
much more than our job titles. And that's what's so cool about it. You aren't what you do.
It's one of his catchphrases. He's really something else. Anyway, we were you talking about? We love Joel and we love Joel and the 11th or 12th most impressive thing he's he did
was of course do the original drawings for the same monkeys.
That's right.
He won't tell you that any spare time is he's a very good artist, but he's more into cooking.
He loves Italian as he's specialty, but he can do almost anything.
But a very good artist as well, yeah.
So what he drew was they've been described as human or...
He's a great husband.
So...
To his husband.
Boom!
Incredible.
What a guy.
Boom.
What a guy.
Sorry, we were all meant to do double takes there were.
A wall? Yeah. Boom. Boom. The real magician, hey. The amazing perco.
Boom. Sorry Dave, dig on. They've been described as humanoid animals that bear no resemblance to the actual crustaceans
and draw on in a 1950s style.
Yeah, they look like aliens.
And they still have this sort of image that if you go and buy a sea monkey's now, which
you still can still can get them.
There was a disclaimer that said caricature was shown not in fact intended to depict Artemia Salina, but believe it or not,
kids often didn't read that fine.
So, so interesting.
The kids wouldn't necessarily read that first, Nadi.
Oh, wow, I'm just looking at a picture of them.
They do, they look like sort of like skeleton aliens.
Yeah.
Skeleton aliens, you know those things.
I was trying to find the cartoon version.
Oh, yeah, see see. Yeah, right.
Yeah, they don't look like that.
No, sadly not.
But in the marketing and packaging,
he took some more liberties with what kids who bought the product could expect.
The marketing said,
anyone who enjoys the company of pets will adore sea monkeys.
They're great company. Yeah, they're sort of like a cat.
They'll rub up against your leg.
It's like a dog.
They'll play fetch.
Like a horse.
You can ride them.
Whatever you like.
Well, he wrote a 32 page handbook that is still included in most sea monkey kits to this
day, which states that the creatures can be hypnotized,
play baseball.
If you have the right glasses, they can be hypnotized.
They respond to commands, race on a speedway, and can even rise from the dead.
Wow.
This is a quote from that handbook.
Without a doubt, here is the true case of science fiction becoming science fact. Newly hatched sea monkeys are no larger than the period at the end of this sentence.
Well, stop.
As they mature, they will not only change their shape and appearance, they will grow incredibly
large, larger than their size at their moment of birth.
By comparison, if human babies grew so many times as large, you might be 200 feet or
60 meters tall.
Whoa, think about that.
Did how big was the full stop at the end of that sentence, Dave?
Yeah, it was at a particularly big low.
Well, I'm writing an 18 point, but that's pretty big.
It also says, it seems that at mating time of the animal kingdom,
the male engages in combat to win the fin,
poor, flipper, hoof, wing, or what have you of their lady love.
Can't believe they've got lazy at the end there. Name all of them.
Or whatever.
Or whatever.
Or whatever.
That's more the tour, I think.
It starts fun than it's like, oh, whatever. Come on, move on.
Fuck, what do you want from me? Shut up.
So that's all the stuff it's claiming. And then to quote from the Sydney Morning Herald,
which is reviewing the product, the biggest R-Temia Nios ever grows is two millimeters.
And the most interesting thing it does is follow a beam of light up and down its tank.
Mostly, it does nothing.
Hmm.
Wait, didn't they say they could drive speedboats and do a flip and...
Play baseball?
Play baseball and make you lots of money.
Huh?
Can't you train them to be financial investors for you?
That's right.
They're mining Bitcoin in the tank.
Trying to get my dog to be my financial advisor.
I think that is waiting to die.
Instant life, braving, inevitable death.
Kill me.
But the outlandish marketing worked and pretty soon he was getting five sacks full of mail a day
Each of our people sending in letters asking and paying one dollar a piece for their C monkey orders
So he started making a pretty penny straightaway
And he was able to make even more money with extra products like vitamins
Mating powder that was supposed to encourage the C monkeys to get freaky in the tank
Why would you sell that to children?
And the thing he got weird to get sick.
The thing is, the way the reproductive systems work, the female of the species doesn't even need the male to create a human.
No, no, no. I tell you what, it doesn't need the mail, but it does need this powder.
As a woman, Dave, I think I know what a lady needs
to reproduce.
I think I know a little thing I'll do about powder.
I think I know what a lady needs to reproduce.
Okay.
Don't tell me about powder.
Throw the powder, explain me there, the polka.
Okay.
You could buy banana treats, sea gems for them,
sea monkeys to play within the tank.
To play with.
They don't have hands.
They've got one possibly too much.
I know you don't have to have hands to play.
I know that.
But what are you exposed to do with these gyms?
What are they supposed to do with them?
They're nice, it's all bullshit.
What are you supposed to do?
Watch them play catch.
Oh, wait, what?
I even saw these in the 90s, a wrist watch
that was a portable tank, so you could take a few sea monkeys
with you.
Whoa.
That's fucking bonkers. So I was like, I think you could take a few sea monkeys with you. Whoa. That's fucking bonkers.
So I was like, I think you could take a couple for up to like,
you know, 24 or 48 hours and then you need to put them
back in the tank.
But you could, you know, take them on this little,
this tiny little dome of water on your wrist.
That's so stupid.
Well, it's really dumb.
There was also sea-Monkey's Space Kit, C-Monkey's Skate Trials, C-Monkey's Fox Hunt, and the
C-Monkey's Mystery Robo Diver.
What?
What's a Fox Hunt?
I actually saw the 70s toy commercial for that one. It's like a, you put sea monkeys on one half of what looks like an obstacle course, but
of water.
It's like a little river that sort of darts across a little half table sized field.
And then you put them on one side and then you try and race them to the other side.
Oh my God.
I mean, we did some lame shit to entertain ourselves,
but that just seems sad.
All of a sudden, I'm wishing I was going
to watch the train go past.
Yeah.
I think I want to, you know,
pile the family into a car and go check out the train.
Yeah, I don't know how he got away with this.
Like how it was, it feels like some level of false advertising is going on here.
Matt, you could get a watch.
Yes.
To put a couple of men so you could take them around places.
Oh, yeah.
Not that they could see anything or knew that you were taking them around places. Oh, yeah. Not that they could see anything
or knew that you were taking them somewhere new.
It's just so you could wear your sea monkeys on your wrist.
Amazingly, this idea made him incredibly rich.
It became a multi-millionaire of the back of this idea.
What?
At a dollar a pulp.
At the heart of the craze,
yeah, he was selling millions a year. Wow.
Uh, he married twice and met his second wife, Yolanda, senior Ellie. I say monkey.
They can do anything. You can marry him. It's good enough for me. It's good enough for your kid.
He's like, on the wedding night, he got out some of that mating powder and he said come here honey.
Come here.
Took her out of her little dome.
He put on the portable C monkey's underpants.
Little tank.
And then he took them off again.
He met her, this is your land,
very second wife,
when she happened to be in the audience
for a taping of a television program,
he was producing for the magician Joseph Dunninger.
She was an actress and starred in many
Racy 1960s bondage films.
What's a bondage film?
A quite sexy at the time,
but at a bottom modern day standards there. Very soft core movies. They're quite sexy at the time, but by modern day standards, they're very soft core movies.
They're not that sexy anymore.
They have sexy men out there.
It's about modern day standards or a day of war against standards.
That's from the New York Times who interviewed her and she said, at the time they were very
racy, but by modern standards, I don't think anyone would have a bad an island, but at the
time they considered bondage films.
So she'd show us a bit of shoulder.
Yeah.
And I was like, these little wheeze.
Put it away. Put it away.
Put it away.
The shoulder, the colour bones.
Put it away.
I'm not married to that woman.
I shouldn't be sent mad.
Put your colour bow to my good heavens.
Oh my god.
Put away those clavicles.
That's shown a little bit of bones. Matt put your collarbone away. Good heavens. Oh my God. Put away those clavicles.
That's shown a little bit of bones.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
And a different universe where that's sexy.
And someone's just had a bad motorbike accident.
Oh.
And the thighbone's sticking out.
Oh, hello.
Hello, Michael.
Put it away.
No.
You get the paramedics less sensor out. Put it away. Ewww. You get the paramedics less sensor out, put it away.
I'm in a lot of pain, but I feel myself
is sent you on through the roof.
I mean, so much pain, level so real horny.
So she's in many movies, I enjoy the titles of them.
So these movies were called Venus in Furs.
All women are bad.
True. Death of a nymphet. Cool it, baby. Great advice. And finally, assignment,
colon, female. All right, now is that the symbol, a colon or the word colon?
a colon or the word colon. Yeah. We got a symbol here. Okay. Good to check. Very good to check.
All women are bad is obviously my favorite. Matt, you know, I have an issue with that. Yeah, well, honestly, it's probably true, but I don't think you can make sweeping statements like that.
As a feminist, I think that's wrong. Yeah. I think all women probably are bad, but I haven't met all
of them. So let me just let me just say to you cool it baby
Yeah, I've also read that Yolanda claimed her mother was one of the inspirations for Lois Lane
So I don't know if you'd want to be
Lois is a bit of a fucking idiot, isn't she?
Because the glasses thing yes
She hasn't recognized it.
The whole of Metropolis is in that case is all so pretty silly.
Yeah, that's true.
Or is that the right city?
Yes.
On fire today.
You're killing it.
You're killing it today.
I'm so proud of you.
It's so much.
And I look cute.
So it just happened a great day.
She's in these movies, but she didn't really like showbiz and the attention and acting,
all that sort of stuff. So she was attracted to Von Braunhut and his success and his idea for
the sea monkeys and... It's cash, it's cash.
Well, she went to work with him at first and later on they married.
Sure, yeah, she was like, oh, I don't like showbiz, but he's got money. No, he's got
C-monkeys. He's got C-monkeys. He's got hundreds of millions of eggs.
Well, I like eggs. So yeah, isn't it? I hate eggs.
Von Braun Hunt himself continued to invent and C-monkeys continued to capture the minds of generation
after generation, so they're massive at the start. And then, you know, even when I was in the 90s,
I was like, oh, C-Monkey's showbag, I've got to get this.
In 1992, actor and future deal or no deal host, Howie Mandel created a live action TV show
based on the franchise called The Amazing Lives C-Monkeys. Howie Mandel. I know that name.
He's a, like, an 80s stand-up.
Yeah, he's a comedian as well.
That's right.
He's very famous as a host in the US.
Yeah, you'll know his face for sure, yeah.
Yeah, I saw a clip of him on Carson a while back
because he was on a podcast talking about it.
Yeah, I had no idea.
I knew his face because I think he's one of those big American celebrities that isn't really famous outside of America. Yeah, I had no idea. I knew his face because I think he's one of those big American celebrities
that isn't really famous outside of America. Yeah. Or at least not in Australia. I'm extrapolating
there a bit. But he, um, yeah, it was kind of like a, like a just a loose unit oddball comedian
in the 80s prop comic sort of thing. But it was apparently his massive like selling out
Madison Square Garden and stuff. Oh, damn. Did you see the show at all in the 90s?
Apparently Matt, it aired in the US and Australia.
So it was 92.
Right.
What was it called?
The amazing live, live C monkey.
Let me tell you about it.
He got the idea for the show after his daughter wanted to get some Brian Trent Pets, known
as C monkey.
Which he'd also had as a child and he thought, great.
I've got an idea here.
The plot revolved around the notion that the professor in the show had accidentally enlarged
three Sea Monkeys to human size.
Ruh-oh!
CBS said it was one of the most expensive kids shows to ever air on Saturday morning.
He was pumped about the idea, this is Mandel, and at the time said, this could be bigger than the Ninja Turtles. Oh no. It lasted 11 episodes. There's clips on YouTube
that looks extremely wacky. Yeah, that sounds like his kind of style. I'm just going to
photo that photo rings a bell, that press shot, rings a vague bell, but yeah, I never saw it.
That is wild.
In 1998, astronaut John Glenn took 400 million C-monkeys eggs into space with him.
They were exposed to space as many different elements,
and then taken back, you know, stuff that would definitely kill us,
and then taken back to Earth, the eggs were hatched after returning from space,
and they were fine, so they can survive in space.
Wow.
The future of civilization is sea monkeys, I'm telling you.
Oh, I don't like that.
And I don't like eggs.
Keep saying eggs.
The eggs.
No.
Michael Binborn's Empire Pictures bought the film rights to see monkeys in 2006,
hoping to develop an animated movie, but it's yet to be made, but I'm hanging out for it.
Any day.
So, back to Von Braunhut, though. He kept inventing, but not always whimsical things like
see monkeys and x-rays specs.
He got into guns.
Not far off, Jess.
Oh, well, no.
He also invented a weapon called the Kyoge agent M5,
which is a pen sized coil springed weapon
that unfilled a metal whip at the flick of a wrist.
What?
And it's marketed as quote,
if you need a gun but can't get a license.
Oh, cool.
Because they're pretty tall with licenses.
It's a pen size, but it uncoils to like a whip.
Yeah. That's fucked. So it's a pretty nasty little little thing. It was used by Bert Reynolds
in the 1981 film, Sharky's machine. Sadly, I have not seen. What was it called? Sharky's machine, apparently it was a flop.
And the weapon?
The kaioga.
Kaioga.
Kaioga's fun to say, as a concept, I don't love it.
Oh, yeah, I see.
That's pretty cool.
Like a baton sort of thing.
Yeah, it flicks out from a very small size.
You can take it anywhere.
According to Mental Floss in 1979, Von Braunheit was actually arrested for bringing this type of
weapon through La Guadilla Airport. I was just thinking about airports. I was like,
okay. Specifically with this pet weapon. is it just randomly thinking about airports?
I'm not nostalgic.
Well, a little nostalgic for airports,
but no, I was just thinking like,
if it just looks like a pen, bloody hell,
that makes it hard for the airport security, you know?
And you're right,
because he was arrested for it,
though the charges of possessing an illegal weapon
were dismissed when prosecutors realized it was too new
and too strange to fall under any relevant
legislation.
I got the old strange loophole.
And everything.
What the fuck is that?
Keep going, whatever.
Wow.
What they should get for security at airports are some sort of ex-respects where they can
sort of see through something.
For their interrogation, if they are asking someone, like if they have anything on them
and they don't really believe that their person's being truthful, they should get hypnosis.
Oh, yes.
And make them tell the truth.
I'm adding, when they're interviewing him, he just keeps putting on different sets of sunglasses.
You are going to release me now.
We are going to release me now. We are going to release you now.
Fantastic. How does he keep slipping through our fingers? He also knows what kind of underwear
or the cops are wearing. He's not wearing any at all. Now, if going from sea monkey to a
weapon that stood in for a gun seems like a bit of a dark turn.
Well, that weapon soon revealed something about its creator that was even darker.
In the late 1980s, a man named Richard Butler was head of the Aryan nations,
which at the time was the United States' most dangerous white supremacist group.
Dick Butler, you say?
Dick Butler. Or Dick Butler.
Dick Butler, you say? Dick Butler or Dick Butler. Dick Butler.
Dick Butler. He was a, this is Richard Butler, was facing sedition charges in a federal court
and needed to raise money for his case. It is appeal for funding. He included a brochure
for Von Braunhut's coyogal weapon. The white supremacists explained that the manufacturer
has pledged $25 to my defense fund for each one sold to
Aryan nation's supporters.
Jesus.
That's a twist.
I know.
Holy shit.
But surely, the inventor of one of the nation's most celebrated children's toys couldn't be
a hate peddling racist, right?
Well, the story got picked up by the media, and Butler, the racist who's raising money,
soon confirmed to a paper in Spokane, Washington, that Von Braunhut was an old pal,
and a member of the Aryan race who was supported us for quite a few years now.
And quote, according to...
What?
I know this is the first people I've heard about, and then all these newspapers start digging into his background,
because everyone's like, what?
When I was a kid, I had this guy's toys.
What's going on?
The Washington Post started to dig into his background
and publish this in 1988.
Quart, he's linked to some of the most extreme racist
and anti-Semitic organizations in the country.
He has a reputation of being a generous contributor.
That turns out he was involved
with lots of racist organizations, sometimes
giving speeches at their conventions. Really? So it wasn't he was involved with lots of racist organisations, sometimes giving speeches at their conventions.
Really?
So it wasn't even private about it?
No, but no one had ever spoken about it, like sort of publicly in the media.
Floyd Cochran, a recovered racist, told the LA Times in 2000, that on Braunheart was
something of a misfit.
He said, quote, he'd give long speeches about numerology and he'd make references to the
pyramids.
It just didn't play very well.
Even though I like, who's this wacko?
Pyramids and numerologies, Sanrio.
Wasn't that sort of all wrapped up in that conspiracy theory, the triangles and stuff?
Were they called?
Luminati?
Is he a Luminati go? He's got some pretty, yeah, odd views.
Mate, look, we asked you here to talk about why white people are real good.
Let's just drop the number stuff, okay?
Okay, I don't care if numbers are good
unless they're white numbers.
And the pyramids don't think they were white people building those those so if we could just keep that down as well please. Let's talk about things.
White people built you know like like like systems to oppress everybody else. Oh geez Jess.
Oh, geez, Jess. What out of girl?
I can just continue.
I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can just continue. I can in a Caucasian of non-Jewish descent. Well, it turns out Von Braunhardt himself was Jewish.
His parents were Jewish, he was raised in a Jewish community
and they buried in a Jewish cemetery.
And according to the Daily Telegraph,
he added the von so his name sounded more Germanic.
That's not even his real name.
The news of this heritage came to light in 1988
and when questioned about his background,
Von Braunhardt refused to comment. The LA Times speculated that he was allowed to stay in
Aryan circles after this because he was very wealthy.
Jesus, oh, okay. Nards, we're very strict, very strict.
He's got how much money? He can stay.
Okay, well, yeah, obviously this is different.
We'll link to make an exception so far.
Someone's so sad about I mean it's bonkers anyone thinks one race has appeared or another and all
that sort of stuff. But when they are including you or excluding you from that and you're still
supporting I don't I don't really there's something even sadder about that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, definitely.
Are the news of his racism did affect his bottom line for a while?
Laramie limited who held the license to make sea monkeys at the time, dropped the toy
after receiving a flurry of phone calls and complaints after this.
Oh, you don't need a flurry.
That is, that's a lot of phone calls.
A McFlurry now, now we're talking.
That's a good turn. So you got dropped, but then you found a new licensey after telling them that it was I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, no, no, no, no, they were just saying that about me. I'm not a racist.
I'm not.
And then it continues to speak at racist events.
Yeah.
Yuck.
He was able to find a new company after that.
So it's all a bit messy, very, very gross, but sorry to say he was a massive racist,
which is quite surprising for me buying the show bag in 1996.
Yeah.
And it was already known at this point.
Yeah, that's right.
I don't know why I just can't picture a racist person
coming up with something so whimsical.
It's like, I think the two can't coexist.
Whimsy and racism.
I don't know why.
I'm like, this possibly can't possibly be.
He drove a red corvette and then moved to an estate in Maryland, a 70-acre property full
of animals that he and his wife Yolanda called the Montrose Wildlife Conservation.
And he was involved with sea monkeys until the end.
Any decision regarding the appearance of sea monkeys had to be vetted by Harold von Braunhut even in his 70s. He was also very protective of his creation. According to
the LA Times, he once refused to do business with a company that was iring to make C-Monkey's
refrigerator magnets after he discovered risque magnets in their catalog. His wife used to be
in their catalog. His wife used to be in softcore porn,
but he's like, you're not allowed to make my magnets.
You can't make my magnets because you also make,
I'm related to mine, my potential magnets.
You also make magnets that are a little bit risky.
And that offens me, PSI'm a massive racist.
I may be a racist, but I'm also approved, so best of both of us.
Yeah.
Oh, I just don't like anyone is essentially what he's saying.
Well, just sadly, all good things must come to an end.
Is it sad?
Even the life of someone sadder than others.
Well, I've got a written, even the life of someone said to the others. Well, I've got a written even the life of a horrible racist.
On November 28th, 2003, Harold von Braunhut,
died at his home in Maryland.
He was 77.
When he died, he was said to be working on a pet lobster and an instant frog.
Instant frog.
No more details on what that meant. Instant frog. And a pet lobster. What does that mean?
It's just a lobster in a cardboard box mouth to your house. I can't stop thinking about his
pen whip invention and how he he thought it was in cat if you can't get a gun. He's a
If you can't get a gun, he's a little whip thing.
I could just picturing his followers going to gunfights,
going to a jewel, wonder what's gonna go. Sorry, I couldn't get a gun in time,
but I've got this weird little pen whip.
But I stand too far away from me.
Hey, yeah, come here, let me whip you.
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He was survived by his second wife, Yolanda, and by a son and daughter.
But the story doesn't quite end there.
You might be wondering, what happened to the C. Monkey fortune?
Of course.
Well, it was left to his wife, Yolanda,
and despite C. Monkey's sale still being $3.4 million in 2006,
things have not been smooth sailing.
Her lawyer described a situation to the New York Times as,
she was now isolated, cash starved often
without electricity or running water
on a palatial estate.
Having retreated to a single room in the old mansion,
she was prepping for her second freezing winter,
barricaded by thick quilts, her bed next to a fireplace,
stocked with split wood.
I reckon sell the mansion.
I reckon downsize. Dumbass.
This is because in 2003, you land a license out part of the labor of her husband's multi-million
dollar sea monkey enterprise, mostly packaging and distribution to a large toy company called
Big Time Toys. The deal she set
up was Big Time Toys would supply everything like packaging, tanks and all that sort of
stuff and that Yolanda would continue to supply the actual sea monkeys to send out to kids.
You see the exact formula her husband came up decades ago is only known by her and is
locked away in a bank vault in Manhattan.
Oh, that's funny.
What?
And fun.
The secret herbs and spices.
To quote from The New York Times,
which has an article that based purely
on the legalities of this case, which is very good,
quote, also in the contract was a second deal
to buy the company, including the secret formula.
It allowed big time toys to pay a straight-up $5 million fee
and then $5 million more in installments.
That was their deal.
But then your lander launched legal action
against big time toys in 2013
when they stopped paying her,
as they claimed that already paid the required fee
to own the company outright.
They were like, we've given you $5 million bucks,
we own the company now.
In the ensuing court documents, big time toys reveal
that they were no longer using Bon Braun Hut's patented sea monkeys, because she wasn't giving them
to them anymore. They were now using shrimp that they imported from China. That's how they kept
making it. The two parties settled out of court in 2017 that the details of the agreement haven't
been made public. Yolanda continues to sell C-monkeys as the original C-monkeys online. You can order them.
There's an Aussie website too, including premiums supersized 21-piece kit for the perfect office pet,
as well as a t-shirt that says C-monkeys lover. She's also reportedly making a documentary about C monkeys. So I'm looking
forward to seeing that. Oh, I mean, I want to be told in this story. I want her to go into
the racist past of her. Apparently she said she didn't know. Oh, I'm just out. I'm
going to stop again. Why are you wearing that swastika? No reason. I reckon you'd pick up on a vibe. You reckon? Yeah.
This finally via about us section on the website states,
Yolanda is now putting much of the proceeds from sea monkeys into a nature
preserve that she and Harold created in Maryland.
An ardent vegan and animal rights activist, Yolanda believes in the interconnectedness
between all life forms. Yolanda is truly the guardian and mother of the sea monkeys. And that's
that's where we'll end today's story. An animal lover, animals rights activist, it seems like a
stretch. She's obviously drawing the line between see monkeys and animals.
Otherwise, you're probably,
it's not the business you'd be in, I'm guessing.
What, what do you mean?
Shipping animals to children across the world.
But you think an animal lover wouldn't want to just
shove some animals in an envelope and send them away.
But I mean, maybe are they, am I being ridiculous?
Are they, like, clearly they're not going to be,
they're not feeling kind of animals?
Yeah, I don't think so.
But yeah, I agree.
It's a weird line to sort of draw.
You know, the feeling kind of animals.
Yeah.
Can they feel?
They've, that is a, I did not expect that story to go that way.
Inventing weapons and being at what's a premises?
Yeah. And then, by buying those products back in the day,
inadvertently probably supporting that sort of stuff.
Yeah. Just so awful. Think about it as well.
It's very surprising. What a twist.
What a twist.
Well, I think that actually brings us
to everyone's favorite section of the show,
the fact-quot-a-question section,
where we get to thank a few of our Patreon supporters
to get involved in this.
You can go to patreon.com.
search to go on pod or do go on pod.com.
And there's a bunch of different levels.
You can get involved in, depending on the level,
you get different rewards, like bonus episodes, we do three bonus episodes a month.
There's you get to vote on topics, you get to get tickets early, you get discounted tickets to live
shows, all sorts of things like that. But also if you're on the Sydney-Shineberg level,
you get to give us a factor quote or a question.
This section has a little jingle, I think you go something like this.
Fash quote or question.
Yeah, you always remember the ding.
And once you're on this level, you get to give us a factor quote or question or a brag,
which is no one's taking us up on that so far.
But you also get to give me the brags.
You also get to give yourself a title. So firstly, this week, and before, or I should say,
last week, there was an old reward, were you ever golden hat? Do you guys remember the golden hat?
No, yeah. Which was the old Sinishanberg level. And you get to pick a topic. Well,
and you'd get to pick a topic. Well, Justin Hayne had a golden hat topic
which was the New England vampire panic
that we never did.
And then we did it last week
and we didn't shout him out.
So I'm just going on the record here,
writing that wrong.
Thank you very much, Mr. Justin McCain.
Coincidentally, this first fact quote or question comes from Mr. Justin McCain, who's given
himself the title of official mailman of the show and he's offered us a quote.
And the quote is this.
In honor of the upcoming June movie, is the most favorite quote, I guess my most favorite
quote from the whole series.
And it goes like this, I must not fear. Fear
is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face
my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past,
I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear is gone, there will be nothing. Only
I will remain. Because I know what June is, I've heard people talk about June. I don't
know what it is though. Yeah, it's like an epic sci-fi. But yeah, I don't know much about
it. I tried to watch the original film once and it was the worst movie I've ever seen.
Wow. Even worse than some of the brilliant phrase movies we've watched.
Yeah, honestly, I think I put this tune movie, I'm not saying the new, I think the new
one's expected to be fantastic.
It's got a great cast, but it's the original one, including the starring sting in one of
his acting roles.
Oh, fantastic.
Oh, I think I've seen a photo of sting in a sci-fi role.
It's probably that one.
Yeah, I think it's David's intro, directed it too, very early on.
But yeah, it was not for me, but maybe I said that you wanted to really enjoy. Thank you so much for that quote, Justin McKayne. I think it was a good quote.
This next one comes from Craig Mouert, or Mouert, whose title is Trivia Management Technician.
who's title is trivia management technician. Oh.
They don't mind coming handy.
That's right, you got to keep those facts greased.
And Craig is asking us a question.
Here it is.
Do any of you have a cartoon character
you particularly identify with?
He's answered his question,
which always ask people to do. but I'll ask you guys first.
I don't know if I do have one necessarily. It's always hard off the top of your head, isn't it?
Yeah. Cartoon character. Right. Animation. Tom and Jerry. OK, drawn pictures. Yes, I'm TV.
You reckon Tom or Jerry, though, Dave?
No, I feel like I'm Tom.
I'm constantly being tormented by a little mouse.
Am I the mouse?
Yes.
What?
I would say what a banny gumball.
I'm already dead. It didn't die. That is hard. Yeah. Captain Planet,
obviously. Of course, you'd love to recycle. Yeah, exactly. I'd love to, I'd love to die my hair
green. Love it. Matt's got a mullet like Captain Planet, actually. So, Luton Plunder, another great
like Rick, Captain Planet actually.
Lutin Plunder, another great character from that show.
Animated animated animated. I'm trying to think of any Lisa Simpson, you know, real whiny. That's me. But also beautiful heart and plays the sex like nothing else.
No, I'm not a lot like her actually. Yeah, but when you play the sex Dragon Ball Z,
obviously you're always going super
say in. Oh, yeah, Pokemon because I am a pocket monster. Oh, yeah, we live in the
tiny ball. We need the world watcher. I like to watch the world and I can shape shift.
I think the thing is we like cartoons, but I don't know if I see myself as a cult. Yeah.
I'm trying to think of like Disney, but all of those Disney characters.
Can we hear the answer a bit of inspiration to see where on the right track?
Yeah.
Well, I just had a thought maybe, uh,
Simba when he's an angsty teen, that's me.
Yes, okay, your Simba and Dave but I are Tommone and Pumbaa.
Yeah, that's right.
You're helping me on my own. Realistically? I'm realistically and I don't love this Tommone and Pumbaa. Yeah, that's right. You're helping me in my work.
Realistically and realistically, and I don't love this,
but I'm Pumbaa and Dave is Tommone.
My smell worse though.
That's true.
That's actually true, yeah.
All right, I'm Tommone.
Craig Zanzer is.
I'm Sassy.
He identifies with Fry from a few drama.
Great character.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, I might be out of my depth at times,
but I always try and do the right thing.
Good answer there.
That's a great answer.
Yeah, I love it.
I don't know if that's true of Fry all the time.
I know.
But that's a nice thing to see in yourself.
That's good.
Yes, thank you very much, Craig.
Next one comes from Nathan Swop,
giving himself the title of Grand Admiral of the new Mexican Navy. I'm okay. Grand Admiral.
I took a fly for the job of rear Admiral.
Nathan's offered us a fact here, which is, US states differ from Australian states by having
their own independent militaries
called both the National Guard and the State Guard. This includes air forces and navies.
And that means there's nothing stopping New Mexico from building battleships besides budget
and being landlocked. But nothing else stopping them... Wow, and Nathan's taken charge as well.
I guess he's just gonna get the budget.
I don't know.
Go on first, but that's the interesting fact.
Is it?
Did not know that.
No, I don't think I ever really understood what the...
Like you hear about the National Guard and stuff.
Didn't know what that was, there you go.
Yeah, neither.
And the final one this week comes
from Kate Rue. I think this is a first time fact, quote, a question from Kate Rue, is given
herself the title of Meet Coach, M-E-A-T. So I don't know if she's coaching the meat or
she's coaching you on how to cook or an eat meat. I'm not sure, but whatever it is, an important
role.
Kate Ru, thank you so much.
And often, I've noticed that often when the titles are bit confusing, the fact quote
or question will shed a bit of light.
So it's clear it up, yeah.
This goes.
Kate Ru asks, what is the pettiest reason you've ever dumped someone or been dumped?
You said I'll go first. I didn't like the way he walked.
That's pretty petty Kate Roo. There's no light shit on the meat coach thing.
Eddie, I
don't know. I don't think I've ever been in any petty breakups.
No.
Oh, I mean, not that I know of, they've always given me strong reasons.
Yeah.
But who knows what?
Secretly, the real reason was quite petty.
But every time, every time Matt's gone, makes sense, I get it.
Yeah, yeah. When the realy they're going, makes sense, I get it. Yeah, yeah.
When the real, they go and, Jesus, I'm all the way, walks.
It's good.
It's like an idiot.
I'm pretty goofy, walk too.
I do have a strange walk, so maybe that's.
You Dave.
Yeah.
I will kill anyone who criticises you
or anyone who dumps me for my walk.
I'll kill him.
Thank you.
Do we have, do you guys have an answer?
I really don't have one on my phone.
I don't really know.
Uh, no, sorry.
No, yeah, I, uh,
any of you heard of from friends or anything?
Oh, again, on the spot is hard, isn't it?
Um, I just can to say because I've been quite lucky and that I haven't
haven't like you know dated heaps. You are lucky. I've nailed it every time.
It been your boyfriend. I've just met real good people.
I can't think of petty ones from friends either. Oh, this is a point.
You can't get too funny.
Sorry, sorry.
Kate, really, you got a fantastic man, by the way.
Thank you so much for your question.
Um, I hope you found a partner who walks just the way you want them to.
Yeah.
Hope they've, they've walked a pass right into your heart.
Um, we also like to thank a few Patreon supporters
and Jess, when it comes up with a little game
based on the topic.
Yeah, I was thinking either like,
what they've in like an invention of theirs
or what they've sent in the post.
Great.
What about a postable invention?
There you go.
A postable invention.
A postable invention.
Oh, I just add water invention.
Oh, yeah, fantastic.
Love that.
All right.
If I can kick us off, I'd love to thank
from Chemnitz in Deutschland Dominik Linder.
What do you got, Dave?
Go.
What about some sort of small jug, you just add water, and then you've got water and you
can pour it from the jug.
Oh, that's clever.
A small, your invention is taking an existing invention, a jug, and making it smaller.
Yes, but adding water.
Yes.
When you add water, does the jug grow?
No.
Or is it, it's literally just a small jug? A small jug.
I don't, I don't know that you've understood the mission.
Ha ha ha.
Brought off the top.
All right, Jess, I think Dominic could be straight with that.
No, no, no, no, he's nailed it, he's nailed it.
He's nailed it. Good job.
But you're telling me that that is not the kind of thing
that brawn hut would try and market to people.
And people would go, yeah, actually.
What's happened here is, Jess has just put a lot of pressure on herself for this next one.
Okay.
Jon Nale, thank you.
Jess, I'd love to thank from Hook and I think Hampshire, Great Britain, Kieran Marshall.
Grow your own letterbox, just add water.
So what you do is I send you a very small letterbox. It's about
six centimeters. You haven't thought it's through Jess. How do they get it delivered?
So that need a letterbox. They've got it. It gets taken to the post office.
So you have to go pick it up. Okay. That's a good sign for it. But that's why they have to order this product for future
I have to go sign for it. But that's why they have to order this product for future packages.
Right, so you order it, you place it in the position you want your letter box to be,
and then you order it, and in just three short years,
that letter box will grow to a full size letter box that can accept letters and packages up to A5.
Wow.
A5.
A5.
Pretty good.
That's pretty good size.
And the guy that's asked just, how are you watering this every day?
Do you need some sort of small jug, perhaps?
A little bit more useful than you thought.
You got me! Dude!
And finally, for me, I'd love to thank From Glasgow in Great Britain.
I'm going to say Scotland, probably, to be more precise, Matt Stockham.
Matt Stockham, you do one, Matt?
All right.
He's got a little game.
You just add water.
It comes in.
It's like the size of a stamp yard water.
And then it grows to be rock'em, stock'em robots.
And it's just like mat' stock'em.
Yes.
Like they look like little mat' stock'em, but they punch each other.
So he's...
Yes.
It's pretty, you know, and it's a real niche interest. But anyone who wants
to fight like Max Matt Stockholm or see Matt Stockholm get punched, they will love this.
Wow. That is awesome. That's actually awesome. That is actually awesome. Yeah, I know.
awesome. Yeah, I know. Dave, do you want to thank some people? I'd love to thank some people now.
I would love to thank from St Charles in, what's this? Missouri? MMO, what are you talking about here? MMO, you keep talking, I'll look it up. Sarah? I'm going to say Montana. Just a guess Sarah or Sarah Ray Field Sarah Sarah what about grow your
your own sub lease so it comes as a doll's house but if you add water it is a
Missouri day. Thank you so much Missouri obviously I'll be dead in the cold
cold ground before I recognize Missouri but, but grow your own sub-lease.
So you live in an apartment, you get a small doll's house to live with you, but you add water
every day for three months, and by the end of those three months you'll have an entire
giant life-sized doll's house, to be honest, just a house inside your own house that you
can now sub-lease, and now you can make money whilst living in your own house.
So I've got a house inside my house.
Yes, but people live in that house.
So how do I get around my house?
Well, obviously there's sections.
Sure.
So where do I set up the dollhouse?
Like I would, for example,
I'd put it in my living room.
Yeah, exactly.
Obviously your house remains untouched.
How?
Because you're outside the dollhouse.
The dollhouse is its own little thing.
So it's like a granny flat sort of thing?
Yeah, so grow your own granny flat inside your house that you can then lease out and then make profit.
But it is inside your house.
But it is inside my house.
So you're losing a room.
Well, I mean, you're losing a room, you're gaining a tenant.
Sure.
So why not just sublet that room?
What?
How much does this dollhouse cost? 1699. It's very affordable.
1699 for essentially a tiny house investment property. Yes, exactly. It's very, very good.
Is there any way you could do it in the backyard or on a paddock or something like that,
where there's a good more space? Sadly, it's ironic. It can't be anywhere. You add water,
but it can't be anywhere that is affected
by rain.
Okay.
It's interesting.
Because it'll keep growing, I guess.
Yeah, obviously it'll keep getting bigger.
Oh, no, yeah, okay.
There needs to be indoors.
Gotcha.
That feels like you might be onto something kind of magical, but your price point is far
too low.
Oh.
What is essentially a house?
You're selling a house for $16.99, was it?
Hey, people not profit, that's what I say.
OK, yeah, and I respect the hell out of that, OK?
So thank you to Sarah Rayfield, Sarah Rayfield.
Good luck with your new tenants, hopefully they're not a nightmare.
Because they are living inside your house. Yes Because they are living inside your house.
Yes, they are living inside your house,
but not your house.
They've got their own house.
That's not...
No, I understand.
But their house is inside your house.
Technically, you want to get technical?
I definitely do, yes.
I would like to thank now from Wing Field in Great Britain,
Jack L'Asouar.
Oh my God. Well Jack L'Asouar. Very, very nice name, Jack, L'Asouar. Oh my God.
Well Jack L'Asouar.
Very, very nice name, Jack.
Beautiful name, beautiful product.
And it is just Edwarda Spongebob.
Arrives, real tiny, really hard.
Yes.
Edwarda, big.
A big Spongebob.
It's a big Spongebob. You can use it to wash a car.
I prefer to leave it a big Spongebob to wash a car. I prefer needed a big sponge to wash the car.
Like a sham whale sort of thing.
No.
Okay.
And we went to court.
That's right.
I remember.
To clear that up and I'm getting pretty sick of that,
that kind of comparison actually.
Your product's called sham wheel.
And I don't know why people confuse to do
Alice is called Sham. Whoo! And
It's a very small rock hard sponge. Yeah, and you add it to water
It absorbs the water because it's a fucking sponge. Oh, so you add it to water rather than the water to it. Look, I mean, you can do either.
You can do either.
That's versatile.
Yeah.
And then it becomes a big sponge and you can wash it with it.
Or the friend it.
Can you wash the bus?
What do you want to do?
You can wash your butts with it if you want.
Why do you have so many butts?
I don't know how many you have.
I've got a couple.
Can you wash your butts?
Well, I can't do, wait, do you not call each individual cheek a butt?
No.
Huh.
Culture, I love how culturally different we are from each side of Melbourne.
Well, it's just that my particular, my particular butts went through federation a little while ago, so they consider themselves
one butt now.
Two states of one butt.
Two states with a capital territory in the middle.
Obviously.
Take that camera.
You're a butthole.
What has happened to us?
All right, that was Jack the Swah. Thank you so much, Jack. And finally, for me, I would like to thank You're a butthole. What has happened to us?
All right, that was Jack the Swag.
Thank you so much, Jack.
And finally, for me, I would like to thank
from Union in Ohio, God's country.
It is David Nelson.
Thank you, David.
David Nelson.
Well, I don't know, what does this term mean?
The full Nelson.
What does that mean?
Is that anything?
I don't think it's good.
A half Nelson, isn't that some sort of a block type move?
At the wrestling move, is it?
Yeah, given a half Nelson.
Oh, that's my favourite.
What is a full Nelson?
Maybe we're about to find out.
Yeah, it's a wrestling hold gained from behind an opponent by thrusting the arms under
the opponent's arms and clasping the hands behind the opponent's head.
Oh, my brother used to do that to me always.
And that's the full Nelson or a half Nelson?
That says full Nelson.
All right, so half Nelson is half of that, I imagine.
There's a movie called half Nelson in 2006 with ex-topic Ryan Gosling.
Oh, you remember that at the time?
Do you show mentioning that one.
But what do we think, David Nelson?
What's he adding water to?
A new product. It's called the Double Nelson.
It's two full Nelson's.
It's somebody holding you from the back
and a second person holding you from the front.
So it's a little necklace when you get it, you put it around your neck, then
you add water to fully grown wrestlers, taking you from both angles.
This sold in a sex shop? Yes.
Well, it can be bought from multiple different locations, but normally it's as mild to you.
Doesn't have to be sexual. That's really up to a conversation you have with the two fully grown wrestlers and what you all consent to.
Who are the most of the time it is, it is full penetration.
Full.
Full.
Full.
You put this on full.
So David Nelson, thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
Oh, hi.
What a great place.
Finally, I would love to thank some people if I may.
Yes, please.
I would love to thank from what's PR in the US?
Oh, let me check that out.
Because there's only Pittsburgh.
I'm guessing it's a territory.
Puerto Rico.
Yeah, I think it is Puerto Rico.
Awesome.
From Puerto Rico, I would love to thank Miguel Acosta.
Miguel, thank you so much for your support.
Thank you, Miguel.
Puerto Rico, a free, associated state of the US.
Hmm. All right, so what's Miguel's just add water invention?
What about grow your own dentures?
Oh, that's good. Just a live account as adding water, like just by putting them in your mouth
do they grow automatically. Well, they start really, really, really small. So you've got to be
careful not to swallow
them at first. And so what's the point of having them so small just to cut back on shipping
costs? Well, if you grow them in your own mouth then they can also adapt to your face,
grow around your gums. You will have to, of course, certainly remove your teeth first,
get a blank canvas. I hate this one. I hate this.
Will they continue to grow though because of the saliva?
Or do they have like an upper limit?
Unfortunately, they will continue to grow.
So you'll just have big old horse teeth.
There will be a few days they where you look fantastic.
And I said, a few days and you've already removed your teeth.
I suggest taking some profile pictures during that period.
Getting married in just those few days. Eventually you'll be in the big book of British
smiles. Thank you, Miguel. Thank you for that dentistry masterpiece, Miguel. I'd also I also love to thank from Manila.
The Philippines.
Yeah.
That's cool.
Yeah, cool.
Now, I'm also going all over the map today.
I'd love to thank Nathan Rink.
Rinky Denk.
Obviously, the first thing you think of as some sort of an ice rink that you just had water to,
but I don't know if that makes any sense.
Well, honestly, it would get bigger. Yeah. Would it get bigger? Would it get thicker? Every ice
rink's got to start somewhere. You start with a small block of ice from a tray and then
you just add water slowly until you've got an ice rink. Is that how you think ice rinks
are made? Yeah. Well, it is in this case. And we're pouring it from a small jug. Hahaha.
She's that jug's coming handy.
Yeah, actually, I'm really, really having to eat my words here because that jug has been
handy for just about all of these.
Coming around to the jug.
So are we going with an ice rink for Nathan?
Ice rink.
Yes, but it's not just an ice rink, it's got two adult ice hockey teams as well.
So you add the water and you've got two fully grown professional ice hockey teams.
And you get that all in the one transaction?
In the one transaction.
I know only the one that I have in the water, one small jug of water is all you need.
It feels like that would be where
like a big business who doesn't care about its customers.
So not you Matt, would be like,
you can have like half a team.
Yeah.
But if you want them to have anybody to play again,
still need to pay extra for the other team,
you just give them both teams.
That's beautiful. That is beautiful.
I'm how long does it take to grow the teams?
It's instant, instant life.
Get out.
Wow.
And then they just play hockey.
Uh-huh.
And you just get to watch hockey.
Yeah, yeah.
You get your own stand there.
Are there hot dogs?
There's hot dogs here.
There's a hot dog guy in there as well.
Wow.
Just have water.
You got hot dogs.
Is Gordon Bombay there?
Gordon Bombay is there.
He's one of the coaches.
Well, managers, I don't know what they call him in hockey.
But he's doing that because of, yeah, because a judge said,
you got to do a community service, we're going to want you to work with this professional hockey team.
Yeah, that makes sense, that that happens in court cases.
Yeah, definitely.
You got to work with some kids. So how it happens.
Yeah.
So there you go.
That's very impressive, Nathan.
Congratulations on that invention.
I'm sure you are a bajillionaire, I think, is the only really appropriate term.
And finally, I would love to thank from location unknown, but presumably somewhere incredibly
interesting and probably also a mole person.
People in the fortress.
Ethan, goodwin.
Goodwin.
Ethan, goodwin.
Ethan, day.
Ethan, goodwin.
What's this one?
What about...
Come on, Davey.
The start of water, it comes as a hot wheels car.
Very small, you like what?
How did I pay half a million dollars
for this small hot wheel car? But just that water and that car will grow to be twice the size.
So you're selling a house for 1699 and now you're selling a still very small toy car for half a million dollars.
It's all about scalability Jess. What does that mean?
At water you think oh my god this car is so small and never be able to get in it.
It doubles in size. Just once, it doubles once.
Yeah it doubles, that's amazing. Like that science fiction, becoming science fact.
You'll never get in that car.
Yeah, he was, watched the car double inside.
And wasted half a million dollars,
but bought a house for under $17.
Yeah, there's a lot of moving parts in the car.
You imagine you've got to double the car,
a redder and the-
Dave, we haven't talked about the other sashay though. There's another sashay in there.
And if you eat that sashay, you shrink down to the size that can fit in that double
size match. Now I'm listening. What? I thought you were going to say, we haven't
for mating and you can fuck the car.
What do you want to shrink Dan to its eyes for, Jess? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha friendship was on thin ice just then because the rink has only just been bored.
All right so that brings us to our last thing we'd like to do is thank a few of our long term
supporters as we welcome them into the triptage club. There's actually quite a few in today,
Dave. Are you ready? You got the pops warmed up? Oh, no. You get them warmed up while I explain a little further.
So anyone who's been on the shout out level supporting this show for three straight years,
you get inducted into the tripditch club. I'm standing at the door. I got the clipboard.
I've got your name written down. I'm going to read it out. I'll lift up the velvet rope.
Welcome you in. And I really make you feel at home, Dave will hype you up
with some sort of, I think they're puns from the pun master, he will say something about
your name and then just...
You kind of like the top of the show when Matt the pun king did this exact thing about
the people that suggested the topic.
And then I don't know what a pun is. And then Jess gives Dave a little compliment
as well to keep him feeling fresh.
Cause it takes a lot of out of you
to hype people up.
So every hype man needs a hype woman
and, or something like that.
And then Jess also is behind the bar.
You got some food and drinks usually.
Jess, what do you got today?
Jelly!
Oh, yes, jelly shots.
But I put sea monkeys in it.
They are not vegetarian.
And Dave, you've normally booked a band as well.
Oh, yes.
Tonight on stage we've got, hey, hey, whether it's C monkeys.
Wow.
Like a cover band who changes all their songs to like undersea related.
Yeah, and they dress up like those horrific creatures from the 90s show.
Sea monkeys.
I'm a believer who's under the sea.
Everything is just the same.
Under the sea.
Dan, I saw her sea monkey face.
They're very good. All right, so Dave, if you're ready, let me start
reading out some of these names. Come on, Davey boy. All right, here we go. From the home
of Rambo in Galburn, New South Wales, it's Peterily Thomas. Sicily come on there.
Yes very good. Shout out thank you.
From Essanon in Victoria Australia it's clear, Aldridge.
Oh I've been waiting all day, oldridge for this, all day.
Yeah, good to see you Claire. I've been waiting all day, all dredge for this, all day. Yeah.
Good to see you, Claire.
Great to see you, Claire.
All I saw is you, all the fun is.
Yes, that's great.
Everywhere.
From Lang Warren in Victoria, Australia, it's Alana Cizio.
Oh, been a lot of Cizio about your appearance tonight.
Cizil, Cizil.
Oh, he's back.
He's back.
From Overton in North Lancashire in Great Britain, it's Ross Garard. uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Ireland, it's Emma Cougan. Ooh, this night just gets stony better and better. Yes, yes, yes, yes!
From Leeds, Leeds, Leeds, Leeds in the UK, it's Jimmethay Miller., you make me make happy. Yes, Hannah.
From Cranburn West in Victoria, Australia, it's Ashley Buzor Lachford.
Oh, I'm going to latch onto that fantastic name.
Yes, Dave! Thank you.
From Alexandria in New South Wales, Australia, it's Amelia Rice.
Oh, Rice to see you.
To see you Amelia Rice. Oh, rice to see you. To see you, rice.
From Carrot, Unzuah in Tipperary in Ireland,
it's Ian Meager.
Or Ian Ma.
Ian Ma.
I reckon.
Ian Ma.
Which one are we going with?
Ma.
Come, jump in my Ma.
So, Ma.
Bit of a Ted Monterey game reference there.
Come as you maa.
Oh, yes, thank you.
From a sea.
Jump in my maa.
Can see you from a maa.
Yes, okay, okay.
No, we got.
Mount St. Thomas in New South Wales Australia.
It's Maddie Selvi.
Oh, we're going to selviage this night with your presence.
Yes, because Maddie's here now.
And finally, from Regina in Canada, I may be even from Saskatchewan, I hope, it's Clayton
Bender.
Oh, we are going to go on a big night with you Clayton.
Yes.
Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave.
Don't chant your own name.
Just let me do it.
It seems we, people at home don't know what's me.
They think the masses are channing you.
Oh, that's true.
Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave.
That was some of your finest work there.
Well done.
Yeah, that was truly remarkable stuff.
That was, did you black out?
Are you all right? That hurt. Yeah. Yeah.
So thank you so much to Peter Sissili. Sissili? What a hand, why am I not saying that name right?
Sessili. Claire. What about, I should have said let's get Sissili. Yeah.
Alana Ross Emma, Jimmathay, Hannah, Amelia, A.N. Maddie, and Clayton. Welcome to the club.
And Ashley.
I mean, Ashley, sorry, Ashley.
I think that brings us to the end of the show. Does it not?
It bloody does you, little ripper.
Hey, thank you so much. I love that you keep hiking me up even when the, even the credits.
This is great.
I can help it. I can help it. Now, I'm hyped myself.
If you want to be one of these legends and get access to all the stuff like the bonus episodes
that we mentioned, you can go to dogoonpod.com or patreon.com slash dogoonpod right now.
I'm going to appreciate that. You'd be the bloody best. But even if you just want a suggested
episode or find one of the followers on social media, you can go to that same website dogoonpod.com,
but we've also got a bit of birch and dyson. Yeah, let's check it out, all sorts of
the stuff. Links to our web series. You know, we're worldwide on the web.
Finally, you can email us dogoonpod at gmail.com, but until next week, I guess I'll say thank you
so much for listening, and until then, it's goodbye. Light is a... Bye!
Hi icons! It's Danny Pellegrino from the Pop Culture Podcast,
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