Do Go On - 317 - Lit For Clit, The History of The Clitoris (with Alasdair Tremblay Birchall)

Episode Date: November 17, 2021

Following his episode on Keen For Peen, The History of The Penis, our dear friend Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall tells us about the history of the clitoris. This is the second most voted for topic in Block 2021!Watch/listen to Al and Andy's 300 sketches from their show Two In The Think Tank:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdFAFB1wRS0 https://play.acast.com/s/two-in-the-think-tank Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Stream our 300th episode with extra quiz (and 16 other episodes with bonus content): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoon Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave O'Ankie.

And as always, I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello, Dave. Hello, Dave. Hey, Jeff. And joining us this week is a very special guest. It is Mr. Alistair Tromblay Bertrandall. Holy moly. I can't believe I got to return.

Oh, you're bad. Happy Block, Al. Hey, oh, thank you. Happy Block to all of you. Thank you. A special time of you. Absolutely. Absolutely. For me, this is Christmas.

Yes. In my religion. And that religion is... Dogo onity? Yes. Well, we were always worried that our Facebook groups are coming more and more cult-like, and there it is. I wasn't worried. No.

It was all falling into place. Exactly. So it's very nice. I appreciate that, you know, I did so well with Keene for Paine that you had me back one or two years later. Honestly, I was thinking, was it this time last year? Was it three years ago? I can't tell you. I have no idea. Me neither.

Time has become a blur. We are all hurtling towards death. Yeah. It's just good to have a moment with you before the end. It is, isn't it? I think so. I think this is good. I'm not sure anymore.

We'll soon find out. Yeah. Yeah. But you're coming to tell us about the second most voted for topic in block. That's right. Yes, this topic, I don't know if you know this, but you have listeners. And this topic was suggested by a listener, by one of those listeners. Catherine Conrad. Catherine Conrad.

No relation. Really? No relation to me? To Conrad Strait at Bathurst. Yeah, no relation to me or to the restraint. Do you say no relation when you're talking about anyone? You fear nepotism. Yeah, I fear people will think that I'm involved in.

Some kind of conflict of interest. Hey, whoa, this is totally about bored. I am not related to this person. That's right. Yes. And the topic that they have suggested. Now, I'm going to create a question for that. Oh, okay.

What would you get if you were celebrating, if you, the birthday. Yes. The birthday. The birthday. Okay. A cake? That's right. For the pleasure center of the female body.

What would you get? So let's say with the cake. right you got the cake yeah right and you're about to celebrate yeah the pleasure center of the female body sure what would you get what would you get with the candles with the candles I think I know the answer and even still I'm struggling to connect it is this how is the questions usually go are they really is it lit for clit it is lit for clip it is lit for clip it is lit for clip it is lit for the candles would be lit for the clip or they would be literous for the clitoris.

Yes. And so that is your topic. Wow. So good. So you didn't come up with that. That was the title being come up with by Conrod Strait. I believe it is the massive dogo honors. Dogo onity.

Christians. Duguanians. I can't remember. Oh, yeah. That's not bad. Duguanians. Yeah, I like that. So this is really a follow-on from your previous report you did, which was, what was

Keene for pain. Keene for pain. Keene for pain. The history of the penis. That's right. That's right. And so this will be lit for clit, the history of the clitoris. Wow.

I don't think we've explained the show. Dave, can you quickly explain the show for new listeners? Because I know big clit heads will be searching for podcast episodes about the clip. Hello, clit heads. One and all. Basically, what we do here is we take it in terms of report on a topic, often suggested by listening to this one by Catherine Conrad Strait. No relation. No relation.

And we're doing our most requested topics Our biggest ones for the year Basically we put a big poll out Over 100 topics And we've done the top seven This is the second most requested topics So no pressure all But people love the idea of this

Yeah yeah And I want to be up front here And admit that I don't have a clitoris Not on my person at least And I don't own any in jars Or anything like that Okay And I also want

You're saying that like it's a bad thing But I reckon You come out looking pretty good Good. Yeah, great. Well, that's cool. That's great. But I mean, I want you to know that a lot of people with clitorises have died over the years and some of them may have been happy to donate their clitoris to science. To a jar. To a jar. Science jar. I think of those things as the same thing. Anyway, but I don't have any. And so. Like, that's a defense when people like, well, actually, I do own a clitoris. Look over here. They point to a shelf. That's right. There is a jar. Just one jar. It's the only jar on the shelf. I waited for this day and it feels so good. Is the rest of the shelf empty or it's a, it's a lone jar like on a bookcase?

I was making a completely empty shelf. And I love that the clitoris, having a clitoris, made that person feel so good. Because that, as you will discover, is the purpose of the clitoris. Wow, I've always wondered. And I want to also. It's funny that this is the third mythical episode in a row. We had the... Atlantis.

Atlanta's, we had the money pit and now the clitoris. And now the clitoris. Next week I swear we'll do something based in reality. Something that actually exists. I want to also be up front by saying that the history of our knowledge of the clitoris has been hampered over the sort of five to two thousand years that we've been fully aware of it in written form by the fact that only men have been in charge of discovering and communicating information. about the clitoris and they have done a terrible job for a long time and I hope to continue that tradition.

But, you know, I'll do my best. But let's begin. Well, before, do you want to read out Conrod's, uh, what? That's what I wanted to do. Oh, sorry. So that's what I wanted to do. No, that's what I was about to skip it. So thank you very much for the reminder.

So please, here is the Catherine Conrad's words. Seriously. Please do an episode. on the clitoris. There's a hilarious and frustrating history of medical science ignoring or dismissing it altogether, widespread, mistaken understandings

of what it actually is, including the size and shape, and half the population of the planet has one, but even most thorough sex ed classes tend to skip over it. That last fact might not be true. I don't know. Maybe you should do an episode about it.

Well, that last fact is also true. from what I've researched, it seems like not only to sex ed classes skip over it, but also many scientific anatomy books that teach doctors about anatomy. Right. Skip over it. So what is the coliteris? Well, people may know it as a nub at the top of the vulva. So for many people, some people name that whole package that women have the vagina.

But actually, the whole package is called the vulva. So let's just start there. What do you call it? The whole package. The whole package. Great. I call it Little Dynamo. That's great.

Matt? It's the little man, the boat, isn't it? So I guess the whole thing's the boat. The boat. That's right. Okay, great. Noah's up. Timbo, too.

So it's a little knob at the top of the vulva that is the source of female sexual pleasure That bit that little bit that we can see is called the glands clitoris Right? It has a hood on it And and that's mostly all that we've known about it for about 2,000 years We now know that 90% of its bulk lies beneath the surface Oh, look at iceberg Like and we now know that it's It's also made of ice.

Yes. That's right. It's pretty cold. Notorously cold. But we're going to go into that a little bit later. People think that the word clitoris comes from the Greek clay toris. I don't know how to speak Greek, so I don't know how to pronounce that. But which has been translated as both Little Hill and Terub, which they think is a play on words.

Right. So it's like a play on words if the word penis came from the Greek words for pen and to whack off. It would be similar. Al, so is Clitoris a pun? I think clitoris could be a pun, a Greek pun. That's so great. Yeah, so it may be a funny, funny joke. I call this my hill to rub.

Okay. Little hill. Little hill. If only you knew how deep this hill went. That's right. They didn't know at the time. There was a whole tunnel. There was a whole tunnel system.

Okay, so here's a little bit about our history of our knowledge of clitorides. Apparently there's a plural of clitorises. And it's not clitori. It's not clitori. I don't know. This is what I saw.

I'm not 100% sure because it's such an uncommon word that you can't even find a pronunciation thing. Except for one of those, there's only one that was done by like a YouTube robot. Yeah. And that just goes, clitorides,

clitorides, which sounds awful. And I think if it was probably of Greek origin, then I think, I know with octopuses. Clitorides. The Greek pluralization is octopodies. Yeah.

That's nice. Clitorities maybe could be... Yeah, that's much not. Because you told us the plural of penises is peonies. That's right. Which I love. Peanies. Peanies.

I think about that every day. That's so nice. Well, now you've got a second thing to think about every single day. For equality. Yeah, come on day. And how many clitorities does an set of octopities have? Well, I think one for every. every finger and I think they have eight fingers.

I don't know. I don't know. That's how they get the oct. In the name. Finges. Oct, clitorities. That's the second name for, I don't know.

They might actually have heaps. They might have none. Clitorities does make it sound like an old warrior. Oh, that's a great hero. Absolutely. They destroyed the sort of the multi-headed chimera, maybe, a chimera.

It was like, you know, Hercules, Clitorides, and Agamemnon. The three. And Agamemnon was a man in a boat, I think. I think he was the guy in Homer's Odyssey. And at the time, that was the best way of getting from country to country. And so, being a man in a boat. Well, if you listen to our Atlantis episode, you would know that briefly in Atlanta

that had nuclear-powered airships that could seat two to four people. That was a million years ago though So that technology is going away Much like a Toyota Echo It was like cramped with four Comfy with two That's nice Yeah yeah

You could probably just have the back seats With a couple of sandwiches And stuff like that to get you through that long Long journey Yeah yeah To eat lighter Yeah That's a good eating dog

The clitoris has been poorly understood For a long time A lot of men throughout history Have wondered what it was but not been able to put their finger on it. That's good stuff. A lot of articles have little jokes in them, and I thought I would try to put that kind of stuff in there, you know.

So in 150 BC, physician Claudius Gowan professed that the clitoris was the female body's failed attempt at a penis. He professed that. Failed attempt. Look at these weak little things. They can't even form penises. So I assume that that's... Just penis. I mean, that implies, I suppose, that all humans should have penises,

but women were not quite able to. Too weak and pathetic. They had a try. Isn't it nice? Isn't it cute when they try? It was nice that you tried. Nice little hills. Not like our big hills.

Our bloody mountains. Some people say it's too big. Like everyone says that. Everybody is constantly saying that. Listen to me. I'm saying. It's like, I'm a parrot. I'm just repeating with ice.

I'm quoting other people right now. It's all I know, because I've just been raised listening to people saying that. A 1486 guide to finding witches declared that the clitoral tissue on a woman was the indication of a witch. So if you found some clitoral tissue. So have you had a clitoris? You're a witch? I think so. Unless it was that people had tissues for their clitoris.

Yeah. Yeah. Very small tissues. And what is this? Holding up a small tissue. That's so. Ignore that sound. There's a lot of pollen in the area.

Yeah. A little pollen in my pants. Somebody's happy to sneeze it. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. And this guide also called the clitoris the devil's teat. Right? Which I find, for some reason, in my mind, I'm picturing the devil has used a portal teleportation technology to put his

nipple or teat through that and then come out at the top of a woman's vulva. Okay. I see. I guess so that people could put it in their mouths and then drink the devil's milk. I'm not sure. So that's just my picture over. The devil's teeth. You painted a beautiful picture.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. When a French physician, Charles Etienne, dissect, this organ, the clitoris, for the first time in 1545, he named it Mambre Entu, the shameful member, and declared its sole purpose to be urination. To be urination. Yeah, that's right.

But this will be our first technical bit of information about the clitoris. It doesn't have a urethra in it. Disappointing. Urethra is beneath. That's because it's a teat. That's right. It's the devil's teat. It has a milk dutress.

No, no, the urethra is beneath the clitoris. Yeah, the clitoris is above that nonsense. Exactly, way above. I don't deal with urination. I'm above that. And so as you see, I'm just currently just going through a bunch of people who've mistaken what the clitoris was over the centuries, right? In the 16th century, oh, Italian anatomist.

How did it? He dissected it. Yeah, he dissected it. He found that it was a pea hole. He might have dissect... He put the hole in it probably. He went, look. Was that there already?

Pea comes out of that. Yeah. That's pig. Oh my God, people would pee out of this scalpel-sized hole. Interesting. I mean, maybe it was just blood coming out of it and he thought blood was pee. That's pee. That's pee.

That's pee. You know how people think that like female ejaculate is pee? They think that any fluid that comes out of a woman's... Whoa. Why is pee? Or it just even out of their eyes. Why you're pissing on your eyes right now? That's pee.

Ew. Why is it pissing over your face at your dad's funeral? Stop pissing your own face. Let me get you the latrine. What's that a toilet? Yeah. Okay, great. Thank you.

I only know about clitoris. I don't know about anything else. Another word for Todd, of course, is the John. And we're saying John and H episode of Block this year for some reason. The theme for Block 2021, which we don't decide on the way in. The theme, it chooses us. This year it is John. That's so good.

I'm so glad we got to get it out early. I gave the female name for the toilet, Latrine. Yes. And you gave the male name. Beautiful name for girl. Have you seen Robin Hood men in tites? Yes. And the woman's name's name.

And he's like, beautiful name. She's like, used to be shit house. It's a good change. It's a good change. Yes, that's exactly it. It's a good change. I remember at the end that Prince John got down after whatever and he said, John, forevermore, your punishment will be that toilets are now known as Johns.

Yeah. And I didn't realize that was the original. No, that was cool. I love a story. Wow. So the 16th century Italian anatomist Rialdo Colombo claimed to have discovered the clitoris. He raised a flag. Where's he from?

Italian. Yeah. The Europeans love it. The Europeans love claiming things over order to you. Discovered. Discovered. Discovered it. Proof you were here first.

Yeah, that's right. And so he pushed the Native people off the, sorry, the First Nations people off of the clitoris and set up camp. But he described it as a certain small part which is elevated on the apex vaginae, above the foreman from which urine. exits. So he knows it's above the urethra. And this dearest reader is that it is

the principal seat of women's enjoyment in intercourse so that if you not only rub it with your penis, but even touch it with your little finger, the pleasure causes their seed to flow forth in all directions, swifter than

the wind. This is a brag. Not a stance paper. Yeah. Even if they don't want to. I don't want to understand what he's talking about here. Since no one, since no one else has discerned these processes and they're working, if it is permissible to give a name to things discovered by me, it should be called the love or sweetness of Venus. It cannot be said how much I am astonished by so many remarkable anatomists that they not even have detected it on account of so great advantage this so beautiful thing formed by

so great art. Wow. So basically this guy fucks. That's what he's telling us. He goes, I fuck. Dr. Fuck. Yeah, Dr. Fuck. Rialdo fuck.

He's basically... When is this? The 16th century. So then you got a minus one, 1, 1, 1,500s. It doesn't... He obviously didn't discover it, but in science, he was... You know, in Western science, he was the first one. You know what?

Like, all the other virgin scientists are like, no, I've never heard of that. Yeah. That's what he's trying to claim. But people have basically known about it since, like, the ancient Greeks and that's basically but I think

where we've got most of our early writing from so they probably knew about it before that so it's basically me writing a blog now going

gosh you never believe what I've found I've just discovered the piss hole and it is awesome it is awesome it is the centre of pleasure

for men if you just touch it with your pinky finger from which the wind will carry pleasure throughout your body even if you don't

want to. You can try to resist the pleasure, but you cannot. If you just put a small pencil in it. I'm not sure. Yeah, that would be great if scientists, this like real niche fetish. He thinks he's discovered the secret to coming, but it's because it's the only way he can come. You put a pencil, particularly sharpened, all the way in.

All the way of eraser as well. I'm coining the phrase, eraser deep. It should be almost impossible to get out again. In fact, you should be able to ejaculate it out. That is where the real joy comes from. That is, I believe, how people can get an erect penis by putting a pencil inside of it. Ejaculating a pencil out of their penis.

Then you will be rock hard. I'm sorry, that probably got too descriptive. But anyway, so apparently... At what point, Al? Yeah, no, you're right. Come on, Al. So apparently, Rialdo was having a... He was actually having a bit of a...

Let's see, he was feuding with the Gabriel Philopio. Of Tube fame? Of the Tube fame. The Gabriel Tube. Gabriel Tube. But apparently, Philopio actually didn't even call the Philopians of Tubes tubes tubes. He called him fallopian tubas. Tubas.

Tubas. But I think that it was actually the Italian word, even though it's tubas, I think that might be the Italian word for trumpet, because they kind of just come out to a horn. I think the tubes. Right. Which are tubas. Which are called the Philippian horns. The fallopian horns. Ah-on-on-on-a-hing.

Pitching sort of, I don't know, that area above the mom's pubis, whatever it is. Anyway, forget it. I love what you think of as a horn as a clown horn. Honk, hon. But they're feuding. They're feuding. They're feuding over the clitoris?

Yeah, I think he found, you know, this guy was, you know, thrown shade at him with this thing. It's like, all other anatomists can't find it. They haven't got a clue. They don't know what it's all about.

I do. Right? So, but, you know, I don't know. Nobody wins in fights, like in war, you know,

so. So they moved on from that. Oh, actually, I know, I think, but Gabriel thought that he also found the clitoris. I found it first. The Dutch anatomist Reynar the graph did a comprehensive job of describing it in the 17th century, the clitoris. Even discussing the crucial clitoral bulbs, right, which we don't know about yet. We don't know about this yet. So this is kind of a sneak peek.

The clitoris may have bulbs. Oh, my goodness. Like an onion sort of. Similar, similar. Buried below or like a light. Yeah, kind of like, do onions grow underground? Yeah. Yeah, well, if you think of the woman's skin as the ground.

Yes, and I do. The bulbs. I'm so sorry to us. And I'm sorry to all female listeners. And I apologize. And please correct me at any point. And tell me to shut up at all points. No, no, no.

I will never do that. Al, don't just be sorry to female listeners. You should be sorry to all listeners. All listeners. Thank you very much. But also they wanted this. That's what, yeah,

this is the second most voted for topic. This is great. Thank you very much. And you're the only scientist we know. Who else? What are a scientist? You are a scientist. You're the only engineer we know.

Yeah, the only close thing to a scientist that we know. You know Andy. I know Andy and he knows stuff about Newton. Yeah. I think you're also one of the few people who would be up for doing this. Yeah. Great doing the thing about the clitoris.

I mean, this is great. Personally, I'm like, I wouldn't know where to begin. That was the penis one. We had it in the hat for so long. Yeah. Hot for cock or whatever it was called. Hot for cock. Hot for cot.

Hot for cot. But yeah, we were like, be great to do it, but how the fuck would you do this? And then we asked you to and you nailed it. Yeah. I love a bit of, I love a bit of biological history because I'll be going into some biological history after this. Bloody time.

Right now I'm going more into the history. I really hope we hear about primal. Ordeal soup. Yeah. You know, I'm... Half our back you go. I skipped to the soup because I feel like I did soup.

I might have touched on soup in the penis. Oh, it was a lot of soup. A lot of soup based stuff. It was basically... Might have touched on the soup in the penis. Jesus Christ. So, Jesse, you've got to have one to get it. Yeah, I don't get it.

And that's not for me to say. The Keene for Peen episode of Do Go On. I just call it the penis. That's what I think of it as the penis. And my next episode about the penis will be about that episode. Anyway, so that Dutch guy Describe the clitoral bulbs. And in the 1840s, a German anatomist,

George Cobalt, published an extensive account of female genitalia. There's spongy tissues, muscles, and nerves, and blood supply. But he didn't connect all the internal bits as one structure. The clitoris fed by one nerve complex and a blood supply. Is that because he wasn't an engineer? This could be. It could be that he didn't. think like an engineer.

An engineer would describe all bits as one clitoris, right? I don't know what's happening over there. I'm like going, onions are bulbs, right?

Yeah, I looked over it and I could see on Matt's computer he'd googled onions. They definitely are because I'm like, I'm so paranoid

about people going, like getting upset and annoyed and being frustrated through that, not being able to concentrate again. He called onions bulbs. I can't listen anymore.

I'm so furious. He meant tulips. Chulips come in balls. Sorry. It's okay. I put glasses on. I'm tapping a pencil on my mouth. Hmm.

onions. I'm going to Google onions. And the answer is? Yes. Onion bulb, a short modified underground stem surrounded by usually fleshy modified leaves that contain stored food for the chute within. An onion bulb or a chulip bulb. Al, you know your bulb.

Yeah, I'm a big bulb guy. Yeah, that's why I chose this topic on the clitoris. So that was the 1840s. And then there wasn't really much more. And part of that is because of Sigmund Freud. Because in the early 1900s, he declared that clitoral orgasms, were immature. It was like a childlike thing.

And that vaginal orgasms were mature and womanlike. So a man decided that. Yeah. Oh, he's still having clitoral orgasms. How immature. Like a child? Pretty much a hack stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. And so he... I only date women who have vaginal. Exactly. Question on a first date. I'm single. Haven't been able to find one yet. Not when...

And it's not me. It's certainly not me. It's them. And the vibe that I'm getting is that because he was just such a high profile guy with like such an authoritative voice on stuff. I've heard of him. Like a lot of science was like, oh, we better not spend any time on that. Yeah, that seems like it's a childish pursuit or whatever.

And so in 1948, the 25th edition of the seminal Gray's Anatomy, never heard of it, removed well they had season 25 that early well they removed the clitoris completely even from their anatomical book

why just because they I guess they didn't feel like it was important all because Freud oh because Freud but can I do that with other things they're like small to what's it do

don't even draw it yeah and when the clitoris did make a comeback in later editions the only part you could see the glands was there it was a huge comeback So what would like So young doctor

Like people training to be doctors Would be using these books What would they do When they would come across a clitoris on a patient Oh Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa You've got some sort of cancerous growth there Yeah

Obviously it's a little nub Oh my God your body's so gross Yeah Like this Well it's funny that you should mention that Because it wasn't until A effing legend known as Professor Helen O'Connell came along, right?

And she is Australia's first female urological surgeon in Australia. Whoa, cool. Australia in Australia. But she, and she, I think, graduated from that in about 1994. Wow. So, 1994. And she was angered by a book. she was angered by Last's Anatomy,

which was the book that she had to study for her exams. Right. And in the 1985 edition, it had almost no mention of the clitoris and it had no illustrations. And yet there were two pages on the penis. But to top it off, aspects of female genitals were described

as a failure of male genital formation. In 1994. In 1980, yeah, yeah. So that was a 1985 edition. And I think that's what she was still studied. And it was basically what some of the earliest men had said about the clitoris. It was basically still opinion then. It was like an arrow that said failed penis.

Failed penis. There was also a chapter about how ribs were removed to create. To create Eve. Eve. Yeah. But as we discovered in the Keene for Pean episode, that may have been the baculum that they, or baculus that they removed. The missing penis bone That they made Eve

Which badgers still have? Which badgers have still have And most mammals I think still have So how did they make badger women? Oh good Well maybe there was just never a badger e Or maybe the badger's penis was massive And they just cut it in half

Oh good point They just removed Like there's the bone leg And the thigh bone Yeah But then there's the knee And then there's the other leg bone That's probably what is

They just removed the knee The penis knee The penis knee The penile knee. Yeah, that's right. The penile elbow. That's why it doesn't bend. Yeah.

And that's how you get women. Women badgers. We men. That was common belief until 995. That's right. And so then Helen, who by the way, I've discovered grew up in Preston really close to where I live. And I don't know. There's just this thing.

And you'll see why I like this lady so much. But I don't know. You're climbing. I'm not really close to where you live, but I mean, it's really close to where we are now as well, Al. You don't have to take that for yourself. Hey, I'm like we're all close to Helbo. And I just want people to know I live near people where people grow up who are cool. But then she also came across another book.

A University of Melbourne social scientist showed it to her a few months after finally passing her surgical exam. No, so she passed her for surgical exam in 1989. But I can't remember what happened in 1994. or she maybe became a professor or something like that at that point. But it was called A New View of a Woman's Body, and it was published by the U.S. Federation of Feminist Women's Health Centers. And it was full of drawings of vulvas. And for the clitoris chapter,

the researchers who wrote the book, the female researchers, took off their pants and basically compared themselves with illustrations in respected anatomy texts, and then they masturbated, observed each other, and took notes on the many parts of the internal and external clitoris that were changed by or contributed to sexual pleasure or orgasm, right? Wow, wanking for science. Yeah, well, Helen found it, Helen O'Call found it really cool.

And even though that this technically wasn't official science, it was like valid. It was more science than like scientists had done in thousands of years on the clitoris. to try and learn more about it. So, and she noticed that in the book, these researchers had no access to dead bodies or dissection rooms. So they had to just rely on old anatomy texts. And that's when Helen realized

she had access to dead bodies and dissection rooms at the University of Melbourne. Oh, thank God. I've got heaps. Yeah. I've got a basement. And so where she was studying her Masters of Medicine in Women's Health.

so she led the first comprehensive inatical study of the clitoris masturbating corpses and it was led by I think for some reason while you said that I then pictured

I was like somebody going said to Helen they go somebody's done a little bit done an episode of a podcast on your research sorry Helen if you are listening fantastic

I want you to know that even if that did happen, I want you to know, I think it's a valid way of doing it. You've got to figure out if, you know, that clitoris still stimulates. It's science. That is science. Yeah. Well, otherwise, yeah. We still wouldn't know.

Well, that's right. And we know, right? And now we know. Now we know. The clitoris dies with the body. Yes. We were worried that it was still centa. Sentile.

Sentient. Sentient. Senile. Senile. It's lost its mind. Along the way. It lost its brain. Along the way in the research.

sure this, you know, it came across some stuff. One, and I think that this is false, and I'm pretty, I would say, 95% sure that this is false. But one, somewhere they claim, someone claimed, the clitoris does not age. Right? Well, that's because there's a picture of it

in the attic. That's right. That is, of course, getting really old. Yeah, real haggard, real... Do not go up there. So, really clean. This is like, this ain't,

this ain't your grandma's clitoris. It's up in the attic. I don't know what that was. trying to say then. This, I ain't your grandma's clitoris. No one said that before. Anyway, again, thanks so much for listening, Dr. Helen. Dr. Helen O'Connell.

So she, yeah, the first comprehensive and analytical study of the clitoris and was published in 1998. And so that was the first time that people got an actual clear view of how big. 1998. 1998, how big and how deep this really goes. They had to wait for Windows 98 before they were out of the compute. And then she did another study in 2005 and examined it under MRIs in living people. Wow. Living women, right?

So she found that modern medical science was mistaken about the clitoris. The small button or glands that you can see is just the tip of the iceberg. Exactly. That'll point it to me. So she found... I didn't just butt in. So she found that the organ actually looks like this, right? So here's a couple of models of it, right?

So we have the glands clitoris here, which is the bit that it is exposed. Is that made of plasticine? I've seen people wear them as like necklaces and earrings. Well, some of these are now just available on Etsy. You can just click, you know, search for clitoris and anatomical, and you will find all sorts of stuff. I think a bunch of different companies just sell them so that people can Or even I think there's files that are like for 3D printers and you can they just go hey make this at home And so this was this was this was on it was only known in the last 30 years

In the last 20 23 23 four years amazing and and Dr. O'Connell was still part of this research This was all her this was all her like literally she was just frustrated She was like, Jesus, I can't believe this is missing. Jess talks about it sometimes that whenever we get in a report and there's some vague mention of Australia or in Melbourne, we're like, holy shit. This is wild. Did you know?

A Melbourneian scientist. That's massive. This lady is, she's also the, like, this is actually just something she does. Was she Australian of the year? That year? This year, I think she got an order of Australia. Wow. Is she on the $20 bill?

She should be. She should be. Or just like the tip of her nose? And they go, there's actually more of her on the other side. And on the other side you see the other bit where she's just sticking her face through the... That's very good. But she's like, she's just, she's the director of surgery and head of urology at Western Health. So just like a hospital in the west of Melbourne.

Like she's, she's working now. She's only like in her 50, like 50s or something. Fah. And like I'm hoping that I get some kind of urethral obstruction just so I can need it. Yeah. I hope that for you. I hope that for you. She's a surgeon.

Like a pencil, a sharpen pencil, maybe. Like, this is just stuff she does on the side, basically. Yeah.

And she, like, most of the time, she just spends, like, you know, unclogging people's urethrus and,

and, like, doing, like, fine little, like, she's busy. She's busy. She ain't got time

for this. She ain't got time to listen to this. That's why I think we're safe. Yeah. Right. She's a busy woman. She's playing in the surgery.

She's playing it in the surgery. And also, like, There'd be so many podcasts out about her. You know, after you've listened to 100, you're like, I'm over it. Exactly. And probably a lot of them have her interviewed on it. Yeah.

You know, they can probably go like, we'll just call her. Yeah, but she's heard those ones. Exactly. She hasn't heard this one. She wants to hear three straight white dudes talk about it. That's right. And a woman. Don't consider yourself a white dude.

Thank you so much. I would never. I think she did consider herself nothing at all there. No, she didn't even. Yeah, I'm not here. You know, you deserve. better than that. Thank you. You know, the most important relationship is the one with the voice inside your head.

And you got to let it know that you are alive and exist. And I'm here in this room. So, let's try and describe what the clitoris looks like. He's just talking over me. Yeah, that'd be right. When a feminist talks, he just talks right over me. Sorry, I was just trying to. I realized that I've maybe made this episode too long.

He was trying to do go on. No, you can't do that. No? You can't make it too long. No, sorry. No, we did. What was the episode recently? Atlanta's last week was about, or two weeks ago was like.

Almost three hours. Yeah. Okay, great. Thank goodness. And you're doing great. How would you describe? I mean, look, this is how I would do my first attempt at trying to describe the clitoris. I would say it's like the middle bit of the three-pronged bit of the Mercedes-Benz logo.

Yeah. So like, let's say somebody badged your car. It's a Mercedes-Benz. Then they take the circle. bit out. You've got those three prongs. It's one at the top and two down the bottom. Oh, yeah.

Like that? Yep. And then you bend the top bit down and create kind of like a little bird beak. Yep. Right? And that's where the clitoris, that's the bit that comes out. Yep. So you see the beak.

You see the beak. That's the devil's tip. And then on the inside, there's two, those, there's these long things, those two long prongs. They're called the Krura. And then underneath, there's just like two big sacks, two bulbs, right? which are known as the bulbs. They also have another name.

Al leaned in to read that. Just to confirm. Just checking my notes here? Yeah, some of these, wait, one of these is labeled properly. But look, but then you can also see, I would also say it kind of looks like a futuristic supersonic plane. Yeah.

But due to the, you know, maybe what we've done to the environment, they have to carry big bags of water underneath it at all times to put out all the fires. Yeah, so many fires. That looks, as an engineer, would that work as a, like, a building or a tent or something? Would that be structurally sound? Structurally sound? If you put a canopy over the top of it?

Maybe if you had two clitorises interlocked. Yeah. Yeah. And you get a triangle. If you sort of scissored two together somehow. Yeah. If you scissors two clitoris together, you could maybe sort of get shelter underneath it. If you maybe put like a clitorial hood over the top.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, maybe multiples. To me, it looks like it would be able to, one, float and two, swim quite well. Yeah, it's like the Muhammad Ali of genitals. That's right. I would say that. It floats like a butterfly. Swims like a bee.

Swims like a bee. Sort of floating on the top. Yeah, sort of panicking. You got to help it out. And then it's got to spend time drying itself. It dies anyway. You felt like you did the right thing. But you can see here.

So this here is actually like the vaginal. That one was for me. I know the bee, honestly, I've probably prolonged your pain, but I feel better. In the end, isn't that the main thing? What you should have done is just picked up more water in your hand, cupped more water, and put it straight on top. Or got a tiny little pillow.

Just follow it. I'm sorry. Set up a little hospice. It's okay. A little hospice scenario. Sending a priest. I'm not religious. The bee would say.

I don't want this. We're forcing a priest. priest on me. Amazing last words I have. Last words of a bee. I'm not religious. I'm not religious. As it's eyes.

Croats for the buzz. As it's sort of those weird eyes roll into the back of its head. I don't know if you can see that. But you can see here. Look, so this is the thing. This is the urethra.

But then you can see like on the inside here, this is the vaginal hole, right? So the walls of the vaginal hole are basically lined with these huge bulbs. Ah, right? So any pleasure

that is experienced on the inside is actually through access to the clitoris. Cup that, Freud. You're a shibid idiot. All orgasms are clitoral. They're all mature. Clitoral. They're all mature orgasm.

No, they're all immature. Yes, oh, yes, I know I have a lot of very mature orgasms. They're old and dusty. They've got subtitles. There's no dialogue. I do it into a book. You know, I tip my hat at the end.

I put my monocle back on. Yeah. And so there's, but most of the nerve endings are on the glands clitoris. It has something like three to five times more nerve endings than the penis. Cop that. Cop that. So really a penis is a failed clitoris. In many ways, it's not achieved the heights.

Dave, you don't have to put penises down and lift clitorises up, mate. But you can. You can. Oh, you can. Yeah, you can. You can't. You can't. Yeah, I mean, I suppose if you put down enough clitorises, then you could lift a penis up with it.

Um, forget it. Um, okay. I'll try. So, so like, uh, like I've basically just explained under the pubic bone, under the pubic bone, the organ looks like a wishbone. with a body of up to four centimeters long. Coming out of it are kind of legs or crura, up to nine centimeters long,

and also these kind of bulbs that are about seven centimeters long. If someone wanted to just quickly go, I imagine a lot of people already have, but what would be the search term you put in to Google that diagram? If you just, if you write clitoris, real shape or clitoris in anatomical, I think I tried to type in just before

when I was in the car trying to finish this off. I typed in... While driving? Just in the parking lot. I wrote... I did write in Clitoris reel. And all shots were just of vaginas. I want to see the scenario where you're driving

and researching clitoris and a police officer pulls you over and you have to explain that. Why have you got books open? There's an encyclopedia Britannica open on your lap. Chances are that officer would learn something. Yeah, absolutely.

Well, exactly. And that, whatever the phone was, I could deduct unifes from that. He's his unifes from that. And so all of these are sensitive areas that are made of spongy tissue and become erect, just like the penis. So they're erectile tissues that fill with blood and just like plump up. Honestly, this is a classic man scientist. Everything's through the lens of the penis.

This is quite innomino, but seriously, like there's a lot. When you're reading about this, they keep using this word. It's the homologue of the penis. I think homilogue was the word they use. It's homologous to the penis, right? And it's basically saying it has the same position. Homologue's not a bad euphemism for a penis. Yeah.

Jeez. The homologue. Because om would be man from the French or the Latin. And the log would be wood, like lumber. Yeah. Yeah. From the trees. Yeah.

Oh, I'm from the tree. That's their word. That's their word. So, O'Connell's discovery was important for, like, really practical reasons, right? It gave surgeons a map of key nerves, blood vessels, and connecting parts of the clitoris, so they could try to avoid destroying sexual sensitivity during any pelvic area operation. 1999. 1989. Nineteen 98. So, like, people have just been, like, like, like,

scalples in, things like that, right? Just like not knowing that there's just stuff going on in there. Like this is like, so it's basically like what she's done is create like dial before you dig. You know that? You know, it's like, I'm about to use a jackhammer in my front lawn. Is there any pipes or anything under there like that that I should check? And then they send you a map of the pipes and then you go, oh yeah, I shouldn't. I shouldn't stick a scalpel in this part of the garden.

Is it doll before you dig? That's got to be an international thing. And if it isn't, but yeah. What are you missing out of? That's why I attempted to describe it in a sort of pretext to get people context. Surely it is. Yeah. You need something like that, right?

Like a little stud finder. A little stud finder, but for sort of, you know, water mains. You know, I was visiting my folks the other day, first time I was back to the old childhood home. And I had this flashback to when I locked myself out when the family was away one time. And I tried to break in with a chisel, like trying to like wrench open a window.

which I couldn't do and in frustration I threw the chisel down it was one of those chisels with a had like a sharp point at one end into the ground and it burst a water pipe holy crap the odds of that like a

like a small copper pipe I just threw it down and the water sported it spurted out I'm like what has happened what is happened? We're like I've found a well Liquid gold

so I mean I need a name water. Apparently that pipe hadn't been buried as deep as it should have been. And what did you do? Did you have to turn the water off and then? I mean, honestly, it turned out to be an awful. Not really.

But I walked to my Nana's place, which was about a half an hour walk away. And she was in the garden. And I'm in my pyjamas being locked out. I walk up. She's guarding in the front yard. So I'm there to go, I need to call a plumber or whatever. I get there. And she goes, Matt, you remembered my birthday.

Oh no. And you were so excited to see you over that you've walked here in your pajamas. Yes. Yes, Nana, happy birthday. Can I use the phone? Oh, and then how long? Did you have to have, you had a full like Devonshire tea? And then finally told us?

The house is flooding. But that is happy. We got us. we got a save Nana's feelings. You call up. You explain to your parents are like, you've done the right thing for Nana. And then...

That's incredible. Were you able to fix the pipe? Before your parents got home, did you cover it up? Yeah, eventually, yeah, called a plumber. I obviously at some point found a way to work it into the conversation.

And Nana recommended a plumber and we got it fixed, but... That is so great. That's so funny. You remembered my birthday. How old were you? I would have been like 16 or something like that. So I'm imagining, so it's daytime.

Nana's in the garden but you're in your pyjama. So it's got to be like early afternoon or something. Knowing how you love a sleep in. Oh, I bought those for you for Christmas. I thought you'd wear them as pajamas, but that's all right. That's pretty cool. Streetwear. I love grandmas that use the word.

Street wear. Street wear. My grandma says, streetway, what do you reckon? That's just pretty cool. She's in a relationship, so forget about it. I know what you're thinking, forget about it. Can't date mine, Anna.

She's taken. While we're just having a quick break from the report, I just thought it would be cool to tell the listeners about an epic thing you did this week. It was in the last week. I thought it was quite epic, and Dave, Jess and are involved as well. Yeah, I'm a part of a podcast called Two in the Think Tank where we come up with sketch ideas.

It seems like it's a niche idea. but it's itself a niche idea. But then we come up with even more niche ideas. And it's you and Andy Matthews, a famous scientist. Famous Scientist. And he's done a couple of reports on this show about Matthew Brady, the gentleman, Bushrand, which I imagine Jess would remember that one. Very well.

And the Isaac Newton episode. That's right. In which, this was a couple of years ago, you all had a nice funny conversation about Isaac Newton's two lost years during the Great Plague. And you're like, and I suppose There's this kind of thing Where like, you know, everything gets

Very plaguy and And you just kind of like, you stay in your house A bunch and things like that and you all laugh like Those Those old olden days were so hilarious Like that Imagine losing two years of your life

Oh gosh And every one of those years Still counts towards your age How crazy That's so unfair They're afraid a couple of frebies Or I think you should be freebies

of them as freebies? I think they should be deducted off. Chuck them at the end. Yeah. So any plague years, you just go, you know, you remove them and that way, you get your accountant to do your age, basically. I mean, as this works, does that mean we, you're on your deathbed, you die and you're in horrible pain and you get two more years of that?

That's right. That's right. I don't know. They attack them onto the end. Anyway, so with Andy. Oh, yeah. Sorry, we did, we did, so we did our 300th episode. Now, every 100 episodes, we celebrate by doing.

by challenging ourselves. Usually on a regular episode, we come up with five sketch ideas, but on the 100th episode, we came up with 100 ideas, right? And that took 11 hours to do. Then we did the 200th episode, and that took 16 and a half hours, right?

And so that was already a huge, and we got guests on and things like that. And then we had the third one, which was 300 episodes. We had to come up with 300 sketch ideas, and somehow we managed to do it in 18 and a half hours. Cool. Right?

So you were all involved. that was only a couple days ago. There's a YouTube clip of it on a stupid old channel. The whole thing. There's also it on my Alistair TB Twitch stream. It's also there. That's your preference favorite way of getting videos. And then it's also going to be on R2 in the Think Tank.

Your podcast. If we can manage to upload the file. I was, I watched before I came on and I was on. So I watched quite a few hours of it. And I'm like, as you were counting down towards the end, like, oh, I've got to watch till the end now.

You finished, you got your 300th, and then you said, and now to recap the three, and you talk for another 45 minutes. I'm like, on the couch with my eyes, sort of like. We have to read through the 300 sketches. I was watching and I thought you were joking when you said, now to read the three hundred one, he's going to read out the 300 sketches, and then you're like, number one, blah, blah, number two, and I'm like, oh, he's doing it. But it was great.

It was like, I mean, it's very funny to hear him always. condensed down to that one line pitch. Yeah, exactly. And I think it kind of makes you feel because, I mean, during the episode, I'm going like, oh boy, this is slow. This is slow. And I don't know if anybody could possibly enjoy this. But then when you read it back, you kind of go, there's some stuff, there that could be used as potential comedy.

So, yeah, how much of that ends up forming your next festival show with Andy? It depends. It's like, look, it all just goes in a big pile. Yeah. And then we just, we use them every now and then we think it we go, well, like next year's comedy festival. we're doing a show. It's kind of a lawyer-based show. It's like a, you know, courtroom-based show. And so any ideas that we've come up with over the last seven, eight years or whatever,

we can just go, what court cases have we come up with, sketch ideas? And then we can just use it. Sometimes it becomes one line or sometimes it becomes like, you know, a five, ten-minute bit. That's pretty cool. That's cool. So, yeah, there'll be a link in the show, and it's fair. People can watch that, or if you want to listen to it on the whole back catalog of podcasts, obviously there's 300 of them now. Some people have, yeah, there's like 312 because it was going to happen in August, but then the lockdown 6 happened and then we're like, oh boy. And we were very happy to delay it.

But yeah, thanks very much for letting you know. I should say while we're plugging things, I lived out some sort of a dream this week, but I've got a little cameo on Damien Cowell's new song, the singer from Tism, Humphy Bee, Beafle Bear. I sing a few verses on the new song, Hamster, grammar roxia party is very cool yeah so i can't believe it so i'll put a link to that in the show notes as well it's like part of a web series he's animated the whole series himself as well it's released weekly uh but the song in it starts about two minutes in but i'm pointing down with i'll put that

in the show notes yeah yeah yeah but then now you just need to let gary ablett play in one of his family games of football right and then it's your all your dreams come true and gary ablett yeah No, no, not Gary Ablett, the other one that you like. Frankie Peckett. Yeah, Frankie Peckett, all right. But you wouldn't say no to... Plugger. Plugger.

Flugger. You wouldn't say no to a game of kick-to-kick with Gary Abler, though. Yeah, I don't think so, but it wouldn't be a dream come true. No. Well, I don't know. There's definitely... Gary Eppleut Jr. Yeah, I think he might be a better person.

That's what I... It's you, piggy in the middle, the two Gary Ablitts. And then they're kicking it over your head and you're going, Oh, stop. Stop. Stop. Sorry. One of you is really being, I think.

Yeah, I mean, being between two Gary's, now that's a dream. That's whether they're tablets or not. Absolutely. All right. Anyway, Louis should get back into this report. Because I tell you what, I'm absolutely lit for clit right now. Yeah. Great.

Are you guys all, everybody lit? Oh, yeah. Pretty lit. Great. Well, let's go to the formation of the clitoris in utero, right? So we're not going back to the sclerus. suit, but we are going back to the womb. Well, we are going to go back even further later, but I just wanted to kind of do a bit more of this,

because I feel like it's important to get a good clitoral context. I think so this is kind of like, hmm, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got here. Yeah, exactly. I'm doing that in about three different chunks like that, right? So now all babies, regardless of whether they are going to become a boy or a girl, they begin development in the womb with a tiny little bulge called a genital tubercle. A genital tubercle.

Which tubercle sounds like what you would get if you combine my last name is Trombley and Birchal. Yes. That would be, yeah, for efficiency, we should start calling you Alistair Turbicle. Yeah, Alistair tubercle. I like it. Yeah, it's not too bad. I like, I like it's not too bad. I like, I like it's better.

Yeah. Because I've always thought I was like, if I was going to combine it would be like, Alistair Berlet. Oh, that's pretty good. Oh, lounge singer, Alaset Berle. Alistair Berle. Alistair Tromchol. Okay, so that one's bottom of the list for me. Alistair Tram Choll.

But no bad ideas. Hello, I'm Alistair Tram Choll. Alistair Tram Chol and I'm here to fuck. As opposed to hi, I'm Alistair Burleigh and I'm here to fuck. That's right. And I'm here to fuck. You're always here to fuck. No matter what.

Except for Alistair Chumley Birchall. Alastu's just here to discuss options on what we can do. Here to learn. And none of those are fucking. I apologize. I'm swearing so much. So that's so Sorry Dr. O'Connell if you're still listening

At like 10, 11 weeks Basically Both All all fetuses have the same Nub Right They have the exact same nub Right

It's like it's kind of like It's a bit folded Right There's like a kind of folds around it You could almost see something That kind of looks a little Labia majora is around it But it's kind of just like mostly like like this

And there's kind of like an underlying Little kind of like gap like that But anyway, it's just a nub. Right? But then if the developing fetus is going to become a male, the fetal testes will produce a male hormone like testosterone, and the genital tubercle will develop into a penis. If, on the other hand, it's going to become a female,

the fetal ovary will not produce any hormones, and instead the genital tubercle will develop into the clitoris. So it's the same thing turning into the penis, and a clitoris. But that makes me think that if you don't add anything to it and it becomes a clitoris, then we should always be saying that the penis is a homologue of the clitoris, which feels like it's the default. Right.

Yeah, that makes sense. I don't know. That's just me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If we get like, next time one of you says the clitoris or the penis is a homologue of one or the other, let's get it right.

Yeah. Because I'm hearing people say it all the time. Yeah. Well, when you're in the world that I'm in, which is in the world of rapid, trying to research the clitoris. And science. Over a couple of days, and science, my connection to Andy. You do see it a lot on web pages and things like that, on facts about the clitoris.

The wrong way around. I see it the other way around. Yeah. Yeah, right. And they keep saying, oh, it's a homologue of the penis like that. Like, stop trying to contextualize it via the penis for me. And I only say that because we don't try and contextualize the penis via the clitoris. If you want to get some context on the penis, just,

think of it as like a homologna. Yeah. Okay. So now since the penis and the clitoris both develop from the same structure, they share many similarities. The clitoris has a hood in humans, right? And this is the same as the foreskin in males. And the clitoris has glands, which is the same structure as the head of the penis.

And both the penis and the clitoris become engorge with blood when stimulated. And both structures are full of nerves, which, at least in humans, provide a pleasurable sensation when stimulated. Now this is another thing I've noticed is that scientists are, they're very careful. They don't want to just say that all animals, clitorises,

cause pleasure. They just, they're like, I don't want to, it's, you know, I don't want to speak for giraffes. I don't want to speak for giraffes. We haven't asked bats. Yeah.

You know what? I'm not one to speak for marmots, but the clitoris may or may not cause. I mean, they only discovered, like, the human stuff in 1998.

So there hasn't been enough time to catalog all the beach. Give them a chance. Yeah, exactly. But I have discovered that all mammals have clitorises. Uh, female animals. Now, though both organs functioned to transmit and receive sexual sensation, the penis contains the urethra,

which provides the means for expelling sperm and urum from the body, which we learn in the... Spearm and what? Sperm and urine from the body. I thought urum. Urim. probably should have been out of piece that together. That's what we call it back where I'm from.

Sperm and urine. I'm going to go expel some yuram. I just thought there was, because no one else flinched on, I'm like, there's another fluid? I thought like sperm came out with an, anyway, whatever.

The third fluid. You don't need to know what my, those two seconds, what my brain did there. Holy shit, everything I've known as a lie. Yurem? Yerum. Of course,

sperm and yuram. P, sperm and yerm. which is urine sperm. That's the mixture of the tube. That's not good. I've been listening again to Alan Partridge's autobiography. And he meets his first wife. They connect because he says,

I've always thought that there should be a third caffeinated drink. Why is tea and coffee got it all? And he goes, what am I doing? I've had this idea for 10 years. one's ever agree with me. Why am I saying this to her? And he said, but she agreed. And they sort of hit it off after that.

And what about Coke? Yeah. Might have been hot caffeinated drink. Yeah, you're right. I apologize. I'm so sorry. But then he said he went for, he suggested that there should be a third standard condiment apart from salt and pepper.

And he said, but I lost her at that point. What would it be? Paprika? Yeah, maybe paprika. A nutmeg or cinnamon. Chicken salt. If you get a certain Italian restaurants, you'll get Parmesan. Yeah, parmesan.

Yeah. That's right. That dry, long, long life cheese. But, okay, but the clitoris is only function. Only known function is to give sexual pleasure to a woman. Doesn't push out any germ. It contains two to three times as many nerve things as the penis, so we already know this. Okay.

So where does the clit come from? You don't mind me calling it Clint right now, do you? Yeah, I'm lit. Not at all. I mean, it's in the episode title, is that? I know. I know, I'm just checking in. Wait, no, otherwise it's, what is it?

Consent is an ongoing thing, all right? So if at some point it kind of becomes too yucky. Yep. We could call this episode literature for the clitrature. That's a great idea. Is it? That classes it up a bit. Yeah, exactly.

That's more of a mature orgasm. A more sure orgasm. So, now this is where, I'm going to get technical for a little bit, and I know in the first episode, I got real technical really early on, and Matt's, face scrunched up, but it'll get technical for just a little bit with this one. Okay, because I'm going as close to the soup as I can get with this. Okay. Okay.

So the beginning of the clitoris starts when we evolved the sexes for having sex, right? So at some point there were no sexes at all, right? Humans have two sexes for making babies. Some organisms have more. 100 for some pond swimming protozoans. And mushrooms use 30,000 and can mate with any of them but their own. Wow. That's sick.

That's what a great fact. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool. Wow, imagine you fall in love with, you've got a one and 30,000 chance of falling in love with a mushroom you can't have a kid with. I know.

Which is, you know, I'm sure there's other options. That's fine, because some mushrooms will just choose not to have kids. That's true, too. That's a valid choice. Well,

you can actually live a very full life, very happy, and it's actually probably going to be a bit easier. Except for having that conversation. You don't have to wait. For your 50s or 60s to travel? Yeah. You can do that throughout your life.

Absolutely. And you won't have to pay for two or three extra, you know, plane tickets. Anyway. But before any of that, the first thing you could call a kind of sexual intercourse occurred between two things that were neither male nor female. These things would mix sex cells of the same size. Right. Now, the reason why I say that is because the difference between males and females is that males

produce a small sex cell, the sperm or pollen, right? And that, and females, their female counterparts produce big ones, like eggs, right? Now, basically, the theory goes, and I'm trying to tell you the origin of sexes here, the theory goes that inside each of our cells, we have a little thing called mitochondria, which is like a little bit of machinery that helps convert food into energy, right? And that happened a long time ago. A single cell had basically a small, friendly parasitic bacteria that came in and started living in a symbiotic relationships with our cells. Right. And they propagate as our cells divide and in animals pass from mothers to their offspring through eggs.

Right. And while they seem to be working for us, these mitochondria, they have actually no reason why they could, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. need to continue to do so because they can carry their own DNA and they can mutate if they breed, right? So they could in theory get a new strain of mitochondria that's very good at replicating but not very good for humans. And one way to prevent such a spread is to avoid mixing mitochondria when you have sex, which is basically starving them of a partner. And the way that we do that is that we made a way to avoid that is that males simply shed most of their mitochondria when they make sperm so that you only get mitochondria from your mother through the egg, right?

So I know this is very complicated, but basically I'm saying if the mitochondria inside the cells interbred, then they could potentially become a new organism that isn't good for living, for the big living organism, a human or, you know, a badger or whatever. But we've avoided that by creating sexes that have different sized sex cells and the sperm doesn't carry the mitochondria. It just basically sheds it or sheds most of it and then interpreates. So that means that your mitochondria is, I think, basically the same going through your mother line.

If you follow through the mother line, you can go all the way. It'll be the DNA that goes all the way back to the first woman. Whoa. I believe. That's amazing. I think. I'm not 100 sure. Is that why some religions they pass us on through the.

Mother's side? Is that right? Maybe Judaism? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think so. I wonder if that's based on that. Mitochondrial DNA, maybe. And so that's why we have sexes. Anyway, if you were ever wondering.

That's why we don't just like go like that and split into two and just have a copy of ourselves or whatever like that. That would be good. I mean, it'd be cool, but I'd skip like the toddler stage, you know? Yeah, that's right. You would only make, I guess, increasingly old versions of yourself. Yeah. I think I need a part of a friend, a part. Oh, I've double booked myself.

You're all coming to a tennis court or something. You're like, oh, it's doubles day. That would be useful. Yeah, that would be handy. Okay. But then your double, like, splits off and says, we're friends now. We don't like you, mum. Oh, my God, brutal.

Kids can be so brutal. Oh, shit, my kids are very, they're getting to that age. My eyes. So where in nature do we find clitorides, right? Well. Where do we last leave our hero? Some scientists suspect that orgasms originated 150 million years ago, right? Now, I think that's when they found the first fossilized o-face.

That's a joke. I don't know how they actually know that the first. orgasms may have originated 150 million years ago. Can you just, for me and anyone like me, explain what that means? What's an O face? An O face. I think it's supposed to be the face that somebody makes while they're organ. If you have to ask.

I fell for a trap. You have to ask. That tells us everything we need to know. O face. Oh, I call it something else. Yeah, well, mine's actually so good. I call it O week. Yeah.

Actually, mine, mine, My person, you know, when I cause orgasms another person, their face contorts so much and it becomes an M face. That's what their mouth. That's like that's an F-face. That's their mouth makes an M-shed. And that happened. Right as like Mount Vesuvius was erupting on you and then you're stuck like that forever.

Someone thinks you up. Oh, hello. Dard doing what he loved. Em-faced. Eming. Eming other people. So, yeah, like I said, all female mammals have a clitoris. The clitoris also exists in turtles, ostriches, crocodiles, and in bird species where the male has a penis.

A lot of birds have cloacas. And so they just have what's known as cloacal kisses in order to, in order to procreate like that. Yeah, but think of that coming from the butt. I am. A butt that has a hole that, first of all, cloacas are my favorite. favorite thing. I was going to say, you were, you, I hadn't heard of Klaakas before you told me about him, and you're the only person I ever hear talking about Kloakas.

Well, you'll find out about it when I come back for the third episode in this series, Waka for Kloakins. Oh, I think the campaign starts now. So, while a ton, not a ton is known about animal clitoris. clitorities. We know that they can be hugely varied. Most clitorises or clitorities, I don't know, in animals are inside the vagina. There'll be more on that later. That's quite interesting. Recent studies have found that dolphins have large and well-developed clitoris, which make scientists believe that sex may be pleasurable for female dolphins through clitoral stimulation.

Yeah, I've heard that for a long time. They're the only other animal that bones for fun. it for fun, yeah. And they think that perhaps I'll skip to here, but there is a thing here that they think that, oh no, I can't skip ahead because I just, it's a mess. But we'll talk about that a bit more later. Female hyenas have unbelievably huge clitorises. Like, they have. I say it, but I don't believe it.

Half foot long clitoris that look basically exactly like penises. So I'm picturing A half a sub, a subway sub. Exactly. Six inch up. That is. You're seeing a,

Meatball sub. Holy shit. Because they actually look, they look, they look, that's a big clip. They appear, they also look with what appears to be testicles,

or testicles, I'm not sure how to pronounce that, which is the other Greek hero. Which is, which actually, what looks like testicles is actually their folded labia, and they're folded and fused labia. is.

They also get erections, and they also give birth through their enormous clitoris. What? They also give birth through their enormous clitoris. Apparently, they give birth to two-pound pups, and there's a high rate of unfortunate, in first-time mothers tearing and them dying, because it's a lot of pup to push through. I did not remember David Attenborough. telling me about this. Litterous.

No. Yeah, the Lion King didn't go into this either. Yeah. It's so great that they can laugh about it afterwards. Do you know hyenas?

Hainas? I don't know if it's all hyenas but spotted hyenas are a matriarchal society. And the females are like the big aggressive ones. Right? And it might be,

I don't know if it's linked to the size of their clitoris. But when mating, the female will retract the penis-like clitoris, like, I think like pushing up a shirt sleeve. So like I imagine that it kind of bunches up

and then slides up into kind of what is like a, just a sort of a, you know, it's creating a sort of something that is a bit more opening like rather than a sleeve, which the male inserts his own penis, which they think, this is the kind of weird crazy thing. A lot of these aggressive matriarchal moms

have a lot of like kind of, like, kind of testosteroney. I think they're called androgens. Yeah. Those kind of males, is that they called? Mm-hmm. And the really tough ones, like pass on a lot, pour in a lot of, like, androgens into their young.

And apparently that is important for them, for their babies, because it makes them more aggressive and more, and when they live in, like, packs of, like, 60 or 80 hyenas and you're fighting over food, that gives you a huge advantage to be hugely aggressive, like that. And it makes them more likely to try at a younger age to have sex with with females, which apparently they need a lot of practice at because the female genital is so insane that you just need a lot of practice to just be able to get it in. So these ones are more likely to be,

I think, successful because they come from like real aggressive moms and they get all this stuff. Oh. This is, yeah, just kind of, anyway, real crazy. I was just thinking in the Lion King, isn't the Whoopi Goldberg hyena the head of the pack? Maybe, yeah. So that makes, so that's interesting. So they got that right that it was sort of a matriarchal. Thank goodness.

Yeah. Elton John wrote that movie, right? Yeah. Al and John and Tim Curry, Rice. Tim Curry, Tim Rice. Tim Curry, Tim Rice. Tim Curry and Tom Carrey. Tim Rice.

Which part of the dish wrote that one. They work so well together. Yeah. And Tim Yogan actually is... Yeah. He added a little something. Tim Mango Lassie. Yeah.

But yeah, the... They got that right, but they... The wise monkey is incorrect. Yeah, right. But monkeys aren't wise. No, well, no, the... I'm trying to think of the character's name. Rafiki.

Rafiki, yeah. So it's just not anatomically. correct. Right. It's got a tail when it shouldn't or vice versa. And it's supposed to be

a mandrill? It's meant to be a mandrill. And mandrill like not long before that maybe five years before that mandrels were discovered to be a separate species before that they were sort of

all in under baboons. Yeah right. And they, so I think the Disney animators were using old information. That's so embarrassing. And they kind of merged two animals together. It's like do your research.

Do some research. Hopefully they listen to this before they bloody make a Lion King 2. Well, they fix it up, I believe, for the live action one. Yeah. I believe they fixed it off. How funny to think that man or humans discovered the mandrill before they discovered the clitoris. Yeah, that's right. Well, it's got man in it.

Scientists were interested. Oh, Ari is. We've got to figure out this mandrill. Sounds kind of bad ass. So here is another thing. Many animals have bones in their clitoris. Like I mentioned in the penis episode, most mammals have a baculum. Well, this...

Stop using the penis episode as a tree trunk or whatever. I know. I'm sorry. What was it? I can't remember. Homologue? Homologue. Homologue to this one.

Well, the reason why is because I'm trying to set up a joke. This one... Shut up. This one is because... So this one is called the baubelum. It has another word. I think they also just have it as like Oz Clitterrides or something like that. But it's the same thing with the Oz Pines.

You can call that the Baculum. But I think this one's called the Baobelam. And it made me think about that guy who, you know, if Eve was created from Adam's penis bone, then the missing penis bone in Eve suggests that God may have created a third person, possibly non-gender specific, right,

that we don't know about yet. I'm just suggesting this. And whether or not that person has a bone and their genitals will suggest how far this, how deep this goes. Where do you think that'll be discovered? I, you know, I think it's about,

it's for Bible scholars to look into this, but, you know, I'm just suggesting there could have been three people in the Garden of Eden and they might have been in a thruple I'm just suggesting that it's a real reimagining of it I'm just saying if the you know

if that penis bone is missing wow that will change everything you know in terms of the teachings absolutely because they do talk a lot about I grew up Catholic they talked a lot about the traditional I don't remember them actually talking about that a lot the traditional throuple

the traditional throuple this is going to this is going to be big think how much more accepting people will become. Yeah. You know, they'll be like, well, you know, I'm a bit conservative. I'm just in a couple. But, you know, it's also fine in God's eyes to be in a throuple.

More than fine. That's how he intended it. Yeah, that's the way God intended it. If anything, I'm the sinner. Well, God's in the Thruple. The God, the Holy Son, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, and the Father and the Holy Father. Yeah.

I mean, that's a fine. He is a throuple. It is in a thruple. All right. Hopefully we are not edging too close to, uh, to, blasphemy here. Ah, yes. Ah, yes. Ah, yes. Ah, that thing

that I'm always very worried about. Non-human primates almost certainly do have orgasms. But they're still not sure whether all mammals experience orgasms. It's a guy called Steve who swears they do. He's working hard in the labs. God bless you, Steve. With some labs. It's because it's very difficult

to measure pleasure in animals. It's a lot of time when it looks like they're smiling. It's just their mouth is open. I think. Yeah, we put our thoughts on animal thought, don't we? I know when I'm orgasming, I always smile. I always open my mouth. Yeah, I always pant with my tongue out.

Which is what I call my Q face. Very good. I like that. All right. It's a mountain erupting, freezing it in place. Capital Q. You say what I'm saying? Okay.

Oh, little Q still works. Now, these kind of last few bits are going to be, you know, my positioning of text is going to be a little bit all over the place. but the interesting thing is that, like I mentioned earlier, the clitoris is inside the vagina for most creatures, right? But the human one isn't, right? And so why is that? The clitoris is coming from inside the...

The pleasure is coming from inside the vagina. I don't know. I've been watching some horror movies lately. Hello? Do you like scary versions? Vigina. What's your favorite scary vagina? Literal fact.

So, one thought is that ovulatory cycles, ovulation cycles in women, that's when they release an egg females of the species. Overeux, I've been the Latin for egg, probably. Yeah, and is the plural ovules, maybe? I'm not sure. Eggs. Eggs. I think that's where the eggs, eggs might. The word you're looking for is eggies.

Eggies. So what we have, which is ovulatory cycles, they have only evolved in a few lineages of mammals. So it's actually quite rare to just have eggs coming out on a timer, right? Egg time. They just come out, you know, in cycles like that. Because our mammalian or ancient mammalian ancestors originally relied on ovulation triggered by sex with a male. So, you know, you're, those, those ones developed

clitoris inside the vagina because you're just walking around. You're walking around the bush, the jungle, the savannah, the winter one, what's the winter one called? Tundra. The Tundra. The Arctic Tundra. And you might not encounter males that much, right? And so it would be crazy for you to just be ovulating at random times like that and then just like, oh, miss the cycle again, you know? So what would happen? happen is that these ones would have had developed with a clitoris inside the vagina. And so they, when, when there was sex, that would release hormones from the clitoris or the clitoris or the clitoral stimulation would release hormones, which would then signal the body to release an egg.

And so then when the sperm would be start climbing up, then the egg would have come out and then does that sound like a better system or worse system? That's a way better system. That's a way better system. It would be good for. God. Yeah. Although we would probably have more accidental pregnancies now. Yeah. Because now we can have occasional, although you shouldn't.

Yeah. If you're, I'm not going to give any advice here. You're right. It would be more. Hard cut to Allen court. Being sued for people having babies. A class action. There's like a thousand people who've got to go.

We heard on a podcast. There's the do go on baby bump. This is the bloody. The do go on baby boobs. because after the Lit for Clit episode, everyone had unprotected sex in what they thought was a sort of a no-egg time at their cycle. Alastair, he went in a great detail about the rhythm method.

I do love rhythm. I'm the drummer. You like that, hon? The best form, the best form of contraception is just drumming in front of your ladies. Oh man So Wow

So then So it's only inside Mammals that have evolved These cycles in which the clitoris has moved away Right Outside of the vagina So that it might not even get any contact During penetration right

Which for me Right This evolutionary moving out like that Makes me wonder Where do you think the clitoris is going You're going to kind of keep moving up and out Where is it hidden? I mean we know with

whales, right? Their nose evolved over time from when they were land creatures to the top of their head to become their blowhole. Yeah. Yeah, we know that. Where's the clit going? So I think it could be going to the tip of the finger, could be going on top of the head. So what's the what's the clit's end game? What is the end game? Well, autonomy, I reckon. It could become its own creature. It's eventually going to sort of bud off from the body and just maybe swim. Yes, it's a great swimmer. Float like a butterfly. swim like a bee. As we mentioned earlier.

And you'll probably just find them in your sort of, in your common, you know, your garden, your garden ponds and things like that, you'll be able to. Oh, look, honey. Oh, look at that little family of clitoris. Maybe they'll grow into frogs or something like that. Yeah, that would be cute.

That'd be cute. Version of a frog is. A very happy animal. Oh, my God. So happy. And then women will, of course, no longer have. Any pleasure at all. Sounds about right.

Any pleasure at all. They can still enjoy a nice game of scrabble or something like that. You don't need a clit for that, Al. No, you do actually. You need a clit for that. Do you really need a clit to drive a car? I'm wondering how you did it hands free. Now, why they don't know whether other animals...

You know how I'm a very good driver. Yeah. Yeah, that reverse path makes way more sense now. She got the biggest van I've ever been in into the smallest park with this sort of move. Wow. One hand, palm on the wheel, round once, round the other way and we're in. I'd had a go. Yeah.

I reckon for half an hour. That kind of practice. She had first go just, womp, womp. I was starting to believe it wasn't possible. To get that kind of big thing into such a small space, your mum's got to pass on a lot of androgens to you. In birthing talent. Yeah.

Thank you, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am. Now, while we don't know whether or not other mammals, you know, all other mammals have orgasms, what is certain is that females who stick around longer during the act of mating are much more likely to become pregnant and produce more offspring. So if a clitoris does enhance enjoyment, then it would be strongly selected for in nature

through increasing the female's chance of having offspring. So we don't know for sure whether, you know, other animals, it creates pleasure, but this is kind of the theoretical argument that it probably does. Wow. And although the clitoris is not well studied, there is evidence of larger clitorities, yes, in animals in which sex plays an important part in relationship building.

Examples include the matriarchal hyena, the bonobo chimps, humans, and of course the dolphins, who we know now have huge clitoris. So maybe more pleasure than plays more of a role. So I'm kind of coming to the end here. but what I've noticed is amongst all the research I'll just read what I said but amongst all this research I know there's so many questions so many articles that are like asking what is the evolutionary purpose of the female orgasm

do women even need them actually it's a fluke that women have orgasms because they're pointless from a breeding point of view right and they should be thankful that they get anything right yeah so there's so much of that kind of stuff out there and it kind of seems like it just because it's not needed for you know popping out an egg or whatever like that. And it kind of seems to like a lot of the time ignore, it feels almost like, you know,

like it ignores a lot of stuff about, when this is kind of my opinion, right? But, and it's not scientific. But this is my reason why I think, of course women would have organs. Some people are saying, it's like, oh, it's like male nipples, right? It's just a leftover thing from that women have that we don't need but, and they say, well, it's just a thing that men have that women don't need, but they just get it as a gift. Right. I think that that's stupid, right? I think that there's probably evolutionary reasons.

You think the idea that there's a gift in your body that is kind of... It's just like, oh, it's just a nice thing and blah, blah, blah. But I think it seems silly to think that there's no evolutionary reason. And these are my own but non-specific evolutionary reasons, right? Firstly, when do we use our clitorises, right? Usually to chill. When it's not for reproduction, we just masturbate to relax and cut stress. and clear our heads.

That's when I use mine, right? Basically, I'm saying that we know that it can have some kind of therapeutic effect, right? And I reckon in nature, not that I can imagine people masturbating just alone in nature, but it must happen, right? Back in the day, that there would be some evolutionary advantage

to not being stressed out and feeling good, right? That would be one thing. And then I would say that the other one is that it would also be useful in figuring out if a mate that you currently have, especially long-term mates, is actually willing to put time and care into you? Because, firstly, everybody deserves to come,

and you shouldn't always have to do it. No, I'm just joking. But I'm just saying that there is an evolutionary, higher-level mate selection thing that goes on, where you find out more about a person if they're willing to do things that they don't have to do, and they just do it as a kind of, act towards somebody because they care about them,

I feel like that helps in partner selection and not just for breeding. And I think that can play a good role in long-term survival. But these are just my own things. And so I'm ending with this pseudoscience of my own. You are a pseudoscientist. I am a fake scientist. And so I think everything that I say should be fake science.

And so that I would say is the, history of the human clitoris. Bloody how. Great work. Fantastic stuff. But obviously there's one question left and that is, do you think it exists? Yeah, we always ask about the mystery. After all your research, obviously, we've heard a bit today that sounds like it exists.

Yeah. But like, I'm skeptical. We also heard a lot of scientists who don't believe it exists. I think that the human clitoris is actually just urine. Yeah. That's my opinion. but I'll leave it to the scientists to make the actual decision.

I think it's mole people. Mole people? I think mole people are involved somehow. They're just sticking their nose out. So it's that not actually the devil's teeth. No, it's the mole's nose. No. It's the mole's nose.

Yeah. That's how they feel their way around. They're blind. Like the clues. Yeah, you never said anything about the Clintos having a side or not. Yeah, had eyes. No, as far as I know it doesn't have an eye. You're thinking,

of the anus. You're looking right into the eye of the anus and the eye of the anus stares back. If you look long enough. Wow, again, Al, I think I never learn any more than when you come in here and talk science. I'm sure you do.

I'm sure you learn about Atlantis, you learn about all the murderers that you cover. The blowhole being a nose, that seems to be the thing that's stuck in my mind the most. That's what I hoped on an episode of the clitoris. This is how much men don't want to know

about female bits. They only remember things about Wales noses. That bit we mentioned at Wales. It was interesting. The rest didn't hear a bit. Yeah, didn't connect to it for whatever reason.

That's cool. You did say something right at the end which I feel like will be quoted out of context. You said something like everyone deserves to come. Yeah. I think everybody does deserve to come.

I think that one. We'll be on t-shirts. I think the important thing is also knowing that, like, some people who are listening to this have not been raised to feel okay with any kind of sex stuff. And that, you know, you should know that basically the only reason

that you're here is because of sex stuff. And you should at least be able to enjoy it. And knowing more about your body will aid that in some sense. Hopefully. That is beautiful, Al. Please don't feel bad about it. There's so many things to feel bad about.

Yeah, so many. Right now we're all, I don't know if I want to speak for you all, but I'm feeling lit for clear. Yeah, yeah. We are illuminated for clituminated. Dave's finally ready for his first time. Yeah. Oh my God, it's going to be great. Wish me luck, everyone.

When you put your penis into that first clitoris, it's going to be so hot. We find Dave in a hyaena. No, no, Dave, no. No, Dave, no. Thank you so, so much, Al. That was our second most request of topic, and I think only you could do it justice. Yeah, agreed. Thanks a lot.

Thank you very much for having me. And if you got dirty jobs, dirty science jobs or dirty, you know, any kind of topics that you don't want to get your hands dirty with, please allow me to plunge my hands into it and pull it out so that I can show you. Well, I look forward to whackers for whackers. Wackers for whackers. It's so good. I think the other big thing I learned was that we have a science legend in the neighborhood. Yeah.

Dr. Helen O'Connell. Yeah. Amazing. Absolutely. And so funny that she's not like, well, I mean, maybe she is very well known. She's well known in clit circles. Right. But she's getting, you know, we everybody should know about it.

Like it's almost like living near Einstein. Yeah. She's like the clits Einstein. I mean, like I would say how many anatomical science. are still alive now who have made gigantic breakthroughs. I'm so surprised that happened in our lifetime. That's amazing. It happened too recently.

Yeah. That sounds Nobel Prizeworthy to me. Yeah, absolutely. Was she in the conversation? I hope so. I don't know. I don't know. But she should be in the conversation.

You said she got an order of Australia. She got an order of Australia. They didn't say for clitoris, for clitoris stuff, for clit stuff. It was for singing or something. They said the community and stuff like that. a lot of the surgery stuff, but I reckon it should just be, like the clitorist stuff should just be up to top.

People are still think, like a lot of doctors are like, why do you study the clitoris? Isn't that a bit obscene? Obscene. There she is. Oh, so good. She's so cool.

She's very cool. She's like, yeah, she's still young. Yeah, I'm just half expecting a black and white photo. I know. Yeah. She would have been like in her late 20s or 30s

when she did the first research. What a cool, cool person. Absolute legend. And you are an absolute legend, Al. And we can hear more of you on two in the Think Tank. Of course, the podcast we talked about. You can check out the video or hopefully the podcast of the 18-hour 300 sketches. And if they want, they can listen to the pop test, which is me and Andy's Science Quiz show.

We get through the ABC Radio National. But also, there's going to be another season. We're going to be recording in December. And so if you listen to it and you go, oh, my God, I actually do enjoy this. And, you know, like that. Well, then you could, there's going to be more coming. That's very exciting. chance of a clit-based episode?

At the moment, you know, the national broadcaster is more conservative than the national do go on. Yeah. So, no, but not yet, but I use up all my good stuff on you guys. Yeah. But honestly, that show is so funny and also you learn a lot. You and Andy packing so many facts about a certain science topic each week. It's awesome.

Thank you so much. It's not, yeah. It comes in seasons, but, but, yeah. Yeah, but it's very fun to make. And much more difficult. Do go on. You have to like, no, for like two and the thing, they can just show up and you record.

Yeah. Whereas this you've got to actually do heaps of research. Yeah. Even probably more than we do here. Because we have to have a fact check or look over it. Oh, my God. Yeah, we don't have that. No, yeah, we've got Twitter for that.

Yeah. And it keeps us humble. I think, so yeah, people should go back and listen to the, I keep saying hot for coffee. What was actually? Keen for Paine. And yeah, and stay tuned.

Maybe if you'll listen to this in the future, also check out the Wackers for Clowackers episode. Thanks so much for joining us out. We'll let you move on with your life. And everyone else should hang around and we'll get into everyone's favorite section of the show. What a great report from Alistair. But yeah, now he's gone.

So let's move on. Forget about it. Forget about him. It's in the past. I don't know why you're getting bogged down in it. Yeah, God. Oh, everyone's yelling at their iPod. Oh, I wish Alastair was still here.

Well, he's not. And that's okay. All right. Life goes on. But it's now time for everyone's favorite section of the show, like I said. And, yeah, I love it because we get to thank the supporters who make this show possible. Without their support, there'd be no, do-go-on. So, yeah, you can get involved as well if you like at Do-Go-On podcast.

dot com or patreon.com slash do go on pod and there's a bunch of different levels you can sign up to depending on your budget and what kind of bonuses you'd like to get what are some of the things they can get popper access to a newsletter a facebook group early access to tickets to live shows and tours that we do which we're going to be doing more of yeah and yeah three bonus episodes a month including phrasing the bar where we have a deep dive into the filmography of everybody's favorite actor, Brendan Fraser. Jess, I love that you invite David I onto your podcast each month to chat about the films of phrase. I'm generous like that. Another thing people get to do is if you sign up on the Sydney-Shineberg level,

you get to give us a fact or a quote or a question or a brag or a suggestion. Fact, yeah, it goes fact, quote or question, brag or suggestion. That's the new jingle, is it? We'll see. I'm sorry, do you want me to start with? Hello, everybody. My name is Jess. Now we know.

Yeah, now we know who we're talking to. Everybody. Yes. So is that the jingle? Have we lost the ding? Fact quote or question. Brangle suggestion, ding. He always remembers the ding in the end anyway.

Jess had to do it twice from before he actually did a ding. I just don't think. Dings just aren't as rap appropriate. No, that's probably true. So on the fact quota question section, I think we keep calling it that even though there's more options now. You get to give us a fact, a quota question or a brag or a suggestion. You also get to give yourself a title. I read four of them out each week.

I read them out for the first time on the show. So here we go. The first one comes from first time fact quota question are Anthony Lecler, which means the Claire in French. And Anthony has given himself the title of Regional Brand Tribal Liaison. on of Afro-Indigenous mess around. Okay. And often becomes more clear in the fact quota question what the title means. Not always.

Sometimes they leave us guessing. Yeah. This one from Anthony, he writes, as a quote, quote, I wish all to know that I do not propose to sell any part of my country. That's a quote from Chief Sitting Bull. As of today, roughly 1.5 billion US dollars sits in an account designated to the Oceti-Sha-Ca-Coh-Win for our claim to the Black Hills, which includes Mount Rushmore. Wow. Which I put on the Mount Rushmore of Cliff Face sculptures.

Yeah, big time. That money has yet to be touched as the hills are sacred to the tribes of the nation. Oh shit. The spirit of Chief Sitting Bull lives on to this day. P.S. Mount Rushmore is ugly anyway. They're carved in those four presidents into a sacred cliff face. Holy shit. Yeah, I think it's actually quite controversial.

I had no idea. I appreciate you bringing that to my attention, Anthony. It takes a lot of the fun out of my running Mount Rushmore jokes. But anyway, maybe they end today. It's a pretty, like, it's a dumb thing anyway. Do you know, Mount Rushmore just as a concept? As in, like, carving some. It wasn't just meant to be the face as well, apparently.

Apparently it was meant to be full bodies and stuff. They ran out of money or something like that. And then, so that's already pretty dumb when you think about it. But then when you add that it's on land that is very sacred, And you're like, okay, well, this is ridiculous. And Chief Sitting Bull have been quoted as saying, I wish all to know that I do not propose to sell any part of my country. Wow.

Yeah, I would call that a grim quote. And 1.5 million US dollars sits in an account. Thank you so much for that quote, Anthony. Love a quote. We don't get many quotes. That was a quote with a fact tacked on, which I like. Yes. Context for the quote.

That's right. And yeah, interestingly, um, I, I do have a pie chart that shows which one has more and quotes is the, in the minority question, slightly bigger. And then facts,

be right, quotes as the smallest. Never seen this pie chart. I love the idea of it. Yeah, where are you keeping this pie chart? It's, uh,

it's in the, in the survey app we use. You're hiding a pie from me? You know how he feels about pies? what's your favorite kind of chart? Mine's a scientist. A scientist chart. I guess a lot of charts are scientist charts.

The next one comes from Murray Somerville. And Murray, who we know in the Dugan community as one of the great animators. We've got quite a few great animating listeners. But Murray, he does a bit of art based on the episodes most weeks, and they're always so good. Yeah, great. Love the style, Murray.

Great style. Murray's given himself the title of casual artistic doodler. Ooh. And Murray asks a question, which is, my partner puts spoons, forks or knives away in the wrong section of the cutlery drawer. It drives me mental. Is that unreasonable? What's some little thing that unreasonably annoys the crap out of you?

I love this. I love settling domestic squabbles on podcasts. Look, it happens like every now and then. And with our cutlery drawer, you can't always see the tops of it, tops of the cutlery. So I can understand things go back in the wrong places. But generally, we know which goes where. And can you remember that order without looking right now?

Yes. No. Fork, spoon, knife. It's wrong. It's wrong. No, I think. No, I think it should go spoon fork knife. Ours goes fork from left to right.

Fork, knife, spoon. Yeah, I think fork and knife should be next to each other Because you grab those two as a pair Spoons I have no idea of the order I just I do try and put them in the right spot Because I just, you know

If I'm holding a spoon I'll put it with the spoons Yeah But you're at a point where you don't even have to look Well that's because I can't Like you can't see the tops of the cutlery You have to really pull the drawer all the way out It's going to fall out

Secret cutlery We like to give a cutlery Oh do you have a lucky dip And you go whatever you got So you get soup you pull two knives out. Yeah, you're like, all right. That's it.

Well, figure it out. I'm committed to it. But something that just makes you really annoys you? Oh, there's hundreds of things. I just can't think of things. I do one that really annoys my partner and that is I leave the bathroom cupboard open a lot. Interesting. Yeah, leaving doors open or drawers or anything like that.

And I'll walk away and then I go, in my mind, I close that. Yeah. Okay, one for me is that the way, my partner stacks dishes sometimes is guaranteed to smash something. So the other day I sent him a video while he was at work. It was a glass perched on top of a spatula. So the spatulas on its side, glass is on top, and the other side of the room of the glass was resting on just a Tupperware lid,

but just the clasp side of it. And I was like this. Dishes, Jenga. Yeah. It's like a Rube Goldberg machine. It was an absolute nightmare. Some people, I've had old housemates, and possibly I was a housemate like this,

who would do a similar thing with the bin. You know, you're just like... I do that with the recycling. Whoever's filled it should be taking it out, so people are just like balancing. Like on the Simpsons, and he's like, he staples banana skin to the side of the bin. Yeah, yeah.

That's that sort of vibe. Exactly. I reckon my one, the first one that came to mind, is, and did it, did Murray say that to be irrational? I think this is rational. And I think most people who say would think their own ones are rational. But I get quite annoyed when I let someone in on a narrow street, you know, they're coming the other way.

Yes. And they don't wave. Oh, no, that's not, that's completely rational. Absolutely agree. That is psychotic behaviour. I live for the wave. I live for the way. The other day, the other day, I let in four cars kept coming through.

First one waived. No, no, five of them. The other four, no, wave. and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, you all wave. This is the wave tag. He doesn't wave for all of you, you all wave. You either wave or I ram. I like muttered to myself under my breath.

You fuck, what the fuck are you doing? But they could literally tee-bone the side of my car. As long as they put the wave up, it'd be like, oh, no worries, mate. Isn't it funny? That does seem irrational though, right? If you're like, I'd prefer you to damage my car than not wave. You're to wave.

How dare you not wave? I pulled behind a parked car to let you just come. You don't know, I could be late for work. I could be on my way to the hospital. People could be dying because I'm waiting for you. I think people, the first one waving is the most important one I would say. Because the ones falling behind, maybe they just think you're a parked car. Maybe they don't realize.

But if the first one especially, they've seen you pull over, they know what's going on. You yield it to them. I say, and I call myself saying yes, sir, and that's what made me think of it. And I think I say this every time. They don't waive or say, no worries, cunt. Yeah. Oh, no worries, can't. No worries.

Yeah, no worries. Oh, it's okay. That's all right. No worries. Sometimes I turn the table and give them a passive-aggressive wave. No worries. Yeah. Yeah, that's good too.

Yeah. That's a fantastic example. Because it, like, it doesn't matter. It doesn't affect you. It doesn't. Yeah, and it's not weird. It doesn't matter, but it does. But yeah, I just, I've noticed that where I'm living,

it's just not a part of what people do. You're not in a waving community. No, it's not a waving community. You've got to get out. You've got to move. I think I'm going to have to move again. You just move, but you're going to have to do it again. I'm going to keep searching for that wavy community. Yeah, well, next time you're going to have to drive around for about five or six hours before you decide to move somewhere and just waving at people.

Are they going to wave back? Yeah. That's a good point. What kind of community am I going to be living in? Exactly. It's disgusting. That's the sort of canary in the gold mine kind of thing. Is that what the saying is? It's not a gold mine, is it?

A mine. Whatever, in the mine. It doesn't matter what they're mining. Yeah. Oh, your sayings are all about gold mines, are they? That's how you know someone's doing well. Yes, I'm doing well. I include gold in all my adages.

Great question, Murray. Thank you so much and great artwork. The next one comes from Sof Waldron. Sof, who we know, from... Did we realize that she's one of... She's been a more show, live shows than anyone else. Yeah, she's our official photographer. And Sof has now given herself

the title of True Believer of the Lost City of Atlantis. Okay. And I'm just looking at the, when that was submitted, that was months before we did the episode. That's amazing. Whoa. How did she know? Amazing. Great works.

Maybe her fact, quote, question, brag or suggestion might give us some information. That's a good point. So,'s question is, I know we don't talk about the current global event on the pod, but given we've recently gotten out of three months of lockdown, what was the thing you did after 80% that made you just stoked to be back out again? 80% for international. We were allowed out of the house again when 80%

over 16-year-olds were vaccinated in our state. What was the thing you did after 80% that made you just stoked to be back out again? And she's answered her question, which I always love it when people do that. which obviously Murray did as well. What Sof do? Sof says, for me, it was going for dinner and to the movies with my friends to see Shang Chi on our first weekend of freedom.

Dinner and a movie, a classic combo. What a great way to. Reannounce yourself to society. Yeah. I also, I think I went out for dinner with some friends. I kept it fairly like I went to the pub. You went to the pub too. I went to the pub.

I went to the pub. I had a fission chip meal. Oh, that's a good. And then I made like a bunch of appointments for things I couldn't get done beforehand. Like I got a haircut, I got my brows done, I got a tattoo, like I just went nuts. That's awesome. You're like a new person. Yeah.

I still haven't gone to a pub. You simply must. I'm trying to think. Probably the thing I've done, which hasn't happened yet. It's coming up or it would have just happened when this comes out. I've been stocking up on interesting beers. Yep. And I'd invited my dad, uncle and cousin around, like, days before the lockdown was announced.

I'm like, I've got these beers for a, so we'll try out, we'll play some tunes and drink these beers. And then lockdown, so I've collected more. Oh, well, that. Now I've got maybe too many beers. And I've invited, yeah, fight them around this weekend. I believe you. Play some records and drink some beers. I believe in you guys.

I think you can get through those too many beers. So I think that's going to feel like them back out because, you know, yeah. Yeah. Just so much time spent at home. Yeah. I mean, we even had a curfew for a lot of that, didn't we? For most of that, yeah. So going for a run and not having to look at the time.

Like, you know, basic things that used to, you wouldn't even think twice about. Do you know what I did on the last day of lockdown? After 270-something days in lockdown, last one, we're free. I bought a paint by number. What is wrong with me? Paint by number. You can go do anything now. And I was like, no, no, no, I'm going to stay inside.

But I think that there's a difference between staying in because you want to and staying in because you have to. Oh, yeah, I love to stay in. I'm a big fan of the staying as well. I like having options. I also, I played golf with my mum and dad this week, which was really nice. Obviously, I hadn't seen them for three months. It's just nice to get out into the bloody bit of nature in the middle of the suburbs. How'd you go?

I hit them all right. Great. Pretty good first up for some reason. If I play a few times in a row, that's when it goes down here. When I start to believe in myself again. That's me with bowling. Real good in the first round. Isn't that interesting?

Or is it the other way around? It doesn't matter. But that is a good question, Sophie. And I'm glad that you got to, you know, get out and about. And you've totally made, yeah, I've got to go out for a pub dinner and a movie. That's a great idea. Thank you for that question. Next one comes from Frank West, given himself the title of Romeo on the horse.

with the rainbow mane and tail. Okay. And Frank's got a quote, which starts, howdy partners, which is exactly what someone on a horse would say. How do partners? Firstly, Matt on the issue of my card being declined.

Oh, this probably isn't required to be read out. But, I mean, I'm in here now. He says, I'm just a poor man who spends with reckless abandon. mainly on food, but maybe I can be more disciplined as a Patreon and keep that money coming in. Thank you for keeping us up to date. Frank, hey, may you continue to spend with reckless abandon. Is that the end of the quote? No, he says, I present you three with, I mean, he put it all in it.

I imagine he wanted me to read that out. So I present, because everyone knows, I only read them out on the show. There's evidence right there. So, Frank writes, I present you three with the, This quote, and it begins. In nature's infinite book of secrecy, a little I can read. That's the quote. In nature's infinite book of secrecy, a little I can read.

He makes sense of that? He's written more after it. Out of all the infinite things in nature, if it was a book, I could only read or comprehend. It's a small part. Thank you all Dave's here. A little. Yeah, that's right. A little I can read.

There's so many. The universe is mysterious. Yes, as we just found out about the fucking hyena clitoris on this week. That's right. Amazing. You go, oh, wow. And does you say where the quote's from? Yes, he says, this quote comes from the soothsayer in Anthony and Cleopatra.

I've slowly been making my way through the complete works of Shakespeare on Audible, and I still have 93 hours to go. While I may not be completely understanding what is happening due to how they speak, I thought this was a great way to advertise one. his abilities, but also makes those abilities sound kind of disappointing. I reckon you've taken the glass half empty version of that, Frank. I think that's just someone saying, hey, look, there's a lot out there, and isn't the world beautiful? Yeah.

That's how I read it. That's how I read it after Dave Kahn explained to me. But honestly, listening to Shakespeare is, for me, seeing it's the best way to understand it, but listening to it is much easier to understand than just reading it off the page. You get a lot more context from... You hope that the reader is reading it with knowledge of the text. Yes, hoping that it is done by a cast. As opposed to how I just did it with ums and long pauses where they shouldn't have been.

Because there's no punctuation, but the A is capitalised. That's what maybe you might have heard me being thrown. It'll be on a separate line. Right. In Nature's Infinite Book of Secrecy, A Little I Can Read. That's better. Thank you very much for that, Frank. Thanks, Frank.

And yeah, that's, thank you to Anthony, Frank, Sof and Murray for this week's fact, quote, or questions. A pack of legends. We also like to shout out to a few of our other great supporters. These would be signed up on the shoutout level or above, which I believe is the arse prod level or above. Of course, you are associate producers of the program. Yes, that's right. I normally, if I can, I normally start off with the first three. Is that okay?

Of course. And Jess, you normally come up with a game? Something, I like last week's one, how we gave them all nicknames. Yeah, a little hard when we've spoken for an hour and a half about clitorises. So I'm a bit stumped. What about we give them a Greek hero name? Yeah, I was thinking that. All right, let's do that.

That's going to, immediately we're going to regret that. But let's give it a crack. Well, yeah. We give him a name. We just put a cleese at the end. Yeah, perfect. And then give them like a... A power.

A power. Yeah, great. They're the god of whatever, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. So first up, I'd love to thank from Victoria Point in Queensland, Australia. Charmy Zelensky. Oh, Charmy Zelensky.

Charmichlees. Charmicles is real good. And power or like God of? Yeah, I think whatever you're feeling. God, like charm. Yeah. Like, I think it's sort of like, It's a god of sales.

God of sales. You know, really charms and sucks them in. And they upsells and it works. Oh, yeah. King of the upsell. Hey, yeah, looking for anything you need, just browsing. Is it that that kind of thing? Just browsing or, yeah, you're interested in making a purchasee today.

Yeah. I think it's like the type of sales where it's not even that. It's not like, hey, are you just looking? I'll leave you to it. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is a salesman that just It transports you To a world of possibilities

Yeah For just the low low price I'm picturing Sort of Simon the likable from Get Smart I don't know if you watch much of that show I don't remember Simon. I've referenced a couple times last few weeks there But there was this character

Who was a bad guy who worked for chaos Salmon the Likeable And you couldn't You couldn't escape his charms So as soon as he looked you in the eye they do a glint effect on his eye from memory, and then you'd just be under his spell. Yeah, it's that.

It's that. Charmy. Charmocles, the likable. Brilliant. God of sales. I think we're using the Homer Simpson rule of Greek godifying your name. Humacles cares not for beans. Which I don't, I reckon I've quoted that my whole life.

And I didn't get it for the first 20 years of that. The next one, oh, local, Brunswick, Victoria, Australia. Chavorn Galea. Ooh, Chavonicles. Galeaucles. Galea. Glea. Glea.

Glea sounds like an ancient Greek city. Glea. Glea. Chavon of Galea. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Shavon of Galea. God of salad.

Salad. Salad. ratio. Always gets it spot on, you know what I mean? You know, you can get salads. I mean, I'm not a big salad guy, but you can get salads that are too lettuce heavy. Yeah.

Not enough feta cheese or what, or beetroot balls or whatever you're, you know, whatever the hero of the piece is. Yeah. The Greek hero of the salad. The Greek, that's probably where I was thinking, Greek salad is definitely what my brain did there. I'm like, how did I get there?

But yes. So, Chavonne just knows exactly what to do. So she'll come to a party. There'll be a barbecue happening. There'll be a salad. She'll have, she'll scoop a bit out, have a bite and go, needs more balsamic or whatever. It needs a splash of lemon.

Yeah, knows exactly. And you're like, what, lemon? And then... Okay, and you do it? And you're like, holy shit. Yes. Chavon, why do we keep doubting you? You do this every time?

I learn. Thank you so much, Chavorn. And finally, for me, I'd love to thank another Aussie from Tenant Creek in the Northern Territory in Australia. Rob's in the NT. Rob's in the NT. All one word. What about Robicles. I was just thinking of gone blank on the...

This is Jess and I are just watching a master of work here. Dave's looking into the middle distance. I mean, I've already made a suggestion. It's obviously no good. Let's hear something. Are you thinking of the god of or are you trying to... I was thinking, I had a title in the name, but I will bow to the master. It was Rob Cipides.

Oh, Rob Cipides. Rod Cipides. That's good. I like that. Are you sure? Yeah, I love it. Rob Cipides, king of the Crocs, Northern Territory. He's like the Crock king.

So he appears... God of Crocs. God of Crocs. So he's sort of like... Is there a god that you can just... Yeah, like the sea god. like Aquaman or Trident or whatever. Poseidon, thank you.

So, you know, like, how Aquaman or Poseidon sort of like can travel standing on dolphins? Yeah. Well, Robicles does that with crocs. Fuck, that's cool. That's where the crocs came from is footwear. Yeah. He wore the original crocs. And Crocs are actually in talks with Robin the NT about doing a bit of a collab.

Yeah. Love it. No, that's exciting. And Rob's like, honestly, I'm glad you came to me finally because I've been looking to sue your asses. Yeah. How dare you? Sue your asses is probably how we would have said it. So thank you to you, Rob, Ocleese. I would love to thank some people, if I may.

Sure can. From Copenhagen in Denmark, Philip Galsgard. Oh, it sounds more like your sort of Viking god. Yeah. What about the Norse, more of a Norse gods, yeah. What about, Philippius Gullsguard. Oh, that's good. That's good.

And God of surfboards. Hello. I was going to say, the classic one, Scott of Thunder. Yeah, but this surfboards, so, does he still have a hammer? Yeah. So has a hammer. Aquar hammer. His aqua hammer is used for, do they have to.

Chisling out some gnarly waves. Because, you know, like in cricket, you've got to. a hammer or you used to have to knock on in your bats right yeah do you have to do something like that with surfboards you got to wax them you got to wax it with a hammer with a wax with my hammer made of wax that's actually and my wax and that character's name is uh good giblets every time i haven't seen it and i love the idea of giblets giblets or giblets i forget but it's givoli but it's very So thank you so much, Philip.

I would also love to thank from South Yarra in Victoria, Hannah Bath. Hannabath is a good friend of mine. Oh, really? I did not realise was a Patreon. Thank you so much, Hannah. Love those surprises. What about Hanopities, bothopities? Oh, that's fun.

Hanopapies? Say it again. Hanopapies? Yes. Banothopies. Yes. Barthopi Bathopaties

Yeah, Hanopathies Bathopities Oh yes It's difficult But can you just sum up Your friendship with Hannah Or what you know of Hannah In three words

Oh okay Actor Yes Funny Yes I mean three words That's enough I think that's enough for me

God of Laughter Oh That's a good one That's fun. Goddess of laughter. We love that. So just, you know, it wields the power.

Yeah. Kindly. But if you need a little boost of laughter, you get Hanothopies in the game. That's so funny. Hanopies. Thank you, Hannah. I also love to thank from Melbourne, Victoria.

There's been a lot of, a lot of Aussies today. Alex Stewart. it. Oh, well, if you think you're close friends with Hannah Bath, I think I can help you on you. You can top that? Yes, Alex is my sister? Yeah, but is she your close friend? And I would call her my sister and close friend. Fuck.

All right, yeah, you have up to me and Hannah then. I just saw her the other day. Hannah and I could play sisters. Oh, that's so cool. Alex, all right, if I could sum you up. Damn it. Why did I set that up? Yeah, now you've got to do it.

Alex in three words. And a name? Oh, well, Dave, you've been on fire with these. What about, I love X in this. Alex Xerxes. Alex Xerxes. Alex Xerxes. Yeah.

Alexerxes. That's fun. I think the ancient Gaelic or Scottish for Stuart is Stilbarred. Oh, Alexerxes still bardios. Oh, my God. This is so good, Alex. Oh, my God. So, yes.

Alex be the I know Big lover of live music So I wonder if we can work that in Okay Loves family She's a big fan of hanging out of the fam Going on holidays

I'm so sorry Alex That I'm breaking you down to these Yeah feels weird Doesn't it? Very surface level things As worked in In real estate the real estate world. Very intelligent.

Is there some sort of god of brain? No. No. Well, you've met Alex a few times. Yeah, no, Alex. And like something about like live music, I was thinking of like... God of rock.

I was going for like... Obviously the live music is very important, but we leave that to the artists. But what can make a live show even better is like light and sound designed. Oh, yeah, okay, great. You know, smoke machines, lasers. God of light and sound is awesome.

That is very good. I was having you to say God of smoke machine. We'll go with light and sound, but that does include smoke machines. You know Evan is the god of, Evan Munro Smith is the god of smoke machines. Oh, he loves them. I've been in rooms that he's not been in

with a dormant smoke machine that all just go, I don't know, he doesn't. does it. God, he's good. I know how he does it. Thank you, Alex. Alex, so much, Alex. That's so cool.

Bardios. So cool you're involved. Did you know Alex was a Patreon? I think, I did. I think I did, yeah. But I didn't realize for so long. Because these people have been on board

for about a year and a half. Yeah, that's really nice. Can I thank a... Please. A trio of people? I would love to think... Oh my goodness, you're never going to believe this. You thought you were close with the last two.

From Maryland in the United States, Catherine Hildebrand, who of course is a stranger to me, but I love you so much for your support, Catherine. Heather Hildred, no relation. You do. You do love Maryland, though, don't you? Am I right in saying the first state? It's definitely not my favourite state, though. No.

No, no, no. But it's in that sort of region, isn't it? Yeah, it's great. I'm pretty sure I go for the Maryland College basketball team. You're pretty sure. The Torpens or something like that? I'm pretty sure. Big, big fan.

Yeah, it's not that far from, uh, uh, God's real country of Vermont. But I would love to thank Catherine Hildebrand, who is, of course, Terrapins, the Terrapins, not the Bernie Torpens. I thought they were named after Alton John's writing partner, but no. What about Kath Terrapin Hilderbrand? Oh, I like that. I like that a lot.

Cath terrapin Hilderand. God of embroidery. Oh, okay. God, have embroidered... Have you seen... You'd need to be to make their flag. It's so intricate. Have you seen the Maryland flag?

No, I can't say I have seen the Maryland flag. I've just looked up, Maryland, the first state, and it says, according to this... I think it's from Wikipedia.org. Oh. Which is a website you can find things on. So you've got amongst... Among its occasional nicknames are Old Line State,

the Free State, and the Chesapeake Bay State. It was named after the English Queen Henner. Henrietta Maria, known in England as Queen Mary, who was the wife of King Charles. That's where Maryland comes from. Yeah, well, I hope you enjoy living there, Kath Terrapren. Hilda Brandt. Love that. I would love to thank also from...

Here's the flag. Oh, shit. Imagine embroidering this. There's a lot going on there. Yeah, there's too much going on, to be honest. Sorry, Maryland, that's a mess. Bad colors, too. Yuck.

Good luck to you. What a shit flag! I like it. How? I like it. It looks like, you know, a test pattern on a TV. That's fucked. If you're from the 60s.

Please keep going, I'm going to throw up. And it's going to look a little something like this. I did just eat a banana. I would love to thank from Ventura in California, Christina Gonzalez. I love Gonzalez as a surname. Christina Cleese. That's pretty good. Christina Cleese, Gonzalicles.

I like it. Ventura. I obviously go straight to. Ace. So animal, some sort of animal related. Thinking like, yeah. God of, God of, what do you, stampedes.

Oh, wow. That's good. Sorry, Mufasa. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, I don't know if Christina was the reigning monarch or god at the time. but if she was, she could have stopped it. Yeah, she might have been before her four-year term.

Yeah, that's right. Four more years. Like we always say for Christina Cleese. Four more years, please. Four more please, Christina Cleese. Gonzalo Clees. Thank you so much. And finally, I would like to thank from Mawson Lakes in South Australia, Tessa Webber.

Tessaweb. Tessa, Wesse Clees. Testercles. Testicles, Webb Socker, Soxer, please. Oh, Webb Socer, please. Pass the soccer, please. Of course, from South Australia, beautiful wine country. Oh, yes.

Oh, the Barossa. A goddess. Home of the Big Reds. Goddess of partying. Oh. Partying up or down? Pudding up. Oh, hell yeah.

Yeah. God of party, yeah. But like a wine and cheese party. Yes. Like a classy party. Took the, actually took the title from Van Wilder. Yes. Yeah.

The God of party. Tessa, classed it up a bit. Oh, no, is that needed it. You know the movie Van Wilder? I can never remember the, you know, he's become quite a famous actor, that guy. Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds, but I can only ever think of him, his name as Van Wilder. He's quite famous.

Yeah, I just can never remember his name. That's funny. Oh my God, I loved you in Van Wilder. Thanks. I've been in so many things. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Three guys a girl on a pizza place. Yeah, loved that too.

I loved that. It was fun. It was fun. I love that character you do. Very good out of the years. Well, we've only got one thing left to do here. And let's see if there's anyone that's going to be inducted into the trip ditch club. Dave's looking at me going, nodding.

This is where we love to give a second thank you to people that have been on the shout-at level or above for three consecutive years. These people, the true believers of the podcast, never dropped off. And to thank them, we induct them into a bit of a Hall of Fame slash Memorial Clubhouse. Yeah. Where inside, it's a club. It's a disco. It's a bar. It's a chill-out zone.

It's a pillow palace. Yeah. There is a ball pit. And we always welcome in some new people, but also checking to see what kind of snacks we've got this week. Yeah. Well, I mean, Matt mentioned earlier, the man in the boat. I have constructed a canoe and I'll be serving his snacks. out of that. It's like a grazing board in a canoe.

Very fancy. Yeah, it's really nice this week. Some Barossa area cheeses. Absolutely, of course. Only the finest. Sounds delicious. All right, and Dave, you normally book a band? Yes, I've actually got the Californian punk band Clit 45. Oh, fantastic.

Who haven't been active since 2016, but I've got them to reform. Fuck yeah. And again, I booked these months in advance, so it's just amazing. I don't know how you do it. What, do they have a, you want, where are you? Do they have a song, a big song? Because I imagine they'd have some great song title somehow. Discography, Tales from the Clit was their debut album.

That's good. Then self-hate crimes, 2005. Final album was called 2468, where the kids you love to hate. Oh. Oh, okay. There's a bit of self-hate there. And sadly for them, they announced that they officially disbanded on Christmas Day 2007

on their MySpace page. Oh, that's what I always wanted. it was someone asked Santa for it Could clip 45 breakup I'll see what I can do I've tour with a lot of great bands Bad Religion Dropa McGee's

A bunch of other punk bands So yeah I imagine It's got the vibe Of a band who was formed That's a bit of a joke And they're a super group You know

Yeah It does sound like it I bet you that's what they are All right so I've got five names To induct The way this one who works Is I'm standing at the door

I've got the clipboard. I read out the name. And Dave, to welcome you into this exclusive club, Dave really boost you up. I know you're probably already feeling fantastic anyway, but Dave wants to lift you up even higher. He's your hype man. And then Jess, of course, is Dave's hype man too. Because every hype man needs a hype woman.

Of course. So, first up, you ready for this? Ready. From Wellington in New Zealand. It's Mel Cleary. Let me be cleary. We're so happy you're here. Did you say we're so happy you're herey?

No. I should have though, yeah. I thought you did and I'm like, I don't know if I love it or hate it. I love it. I love it. From York in Great Britain, Home of the Vikings. It's Johnny Ollis. Oh, more like Christmas time in Ollis.

It feels like Christmas when you're here. Yes. My favorite day of the year. I don't get it, but I love it. Yes, Dave. That Ron DMC song. From London in Great Britain, it's Larissa Murray. Oh, Larissa, I miss you when you're not here.

Yes, God, he's good. From Leamington Spa in England, it's Simon Morgan. Oh, my face is Beamington Spa to see you, Simon. Oh, my God. Come on in. Another one of our great listener arties. A great illustrator to the stars. Thank you, Simon.

Thank you, Simon. And finally, from Wakefield in Great Britain, it's Catherine Groom. Oh, let me... Make some room. Make some room for Catherine Groome. I think there's... I assume they're related for some reason, but I think we've got three great groom supporters.

They're all our greatest grooms. Thank you so much. Catherine Groom, Simon Morgan, Larissa Murray, Johnny Ollis, and Mel Cleary. Much love to you all and make yourselves at home. That's all we need to talk about here today. But can you believe it?

This is nearly it for block. My God. They said it couldn't be done. Wow. Episode 8 of Block 2021, the most voted for, most suggested, most popular topic. Yeah, the biggest, the baddest. The biggest, the best. And the badest topic.

We've got it coming up next week. And yeah, we can't wait to share it with you. So we'll see you then. Anything else we need to say before we go? I guess in the meantime, just want to get in contact with us or check out any of our merchandise or previous episodes. links to our Patreon or supporting us directly through our website, you can go to do go onpod.com. Lots of links there for Facebook, Instagram,

Twitter, all at do go on pod. It's all there. And I guess that's it, isn't it? Yep. So thank you so much again to Elsie Trombley Bertrandall for his fantastic report. But we will be back next week with the number one requested topic for Block 2021.

But until then, I'll say thank you so much. And goodbye. Later. Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never, will never miss out.

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