Do Go On - 318 - The Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Coughing Scandal

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

This is a story about one of the 21st century's strangest crimes, one that has been dubbed a peculiarly British heist. Tune in to hear the story!Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Stream our 300th episode with extra quiz (and 16 other episodes with bonus content): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoon Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2020/apr/07/coughing-major-millionaire-case-not-black-and-white-says-quiz-writerhttps://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2006/jul/17/couldthewhowantstobeamihttps://www.nzherald.co.nz/entertainment/inside-the-who-wants-to-be-a-millionaire-cheating-scandal/5W4WOLIOV4JWIUABZIUJLMCQ4Q/https://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/2003/apr/19/weekend7.weekend6http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6548721.stmhttps://www.vulture.com/2020/05/quiz-paddy-spooner-the-consortium.html Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and, as always, I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins.

Hello, Dave, I love you. Hello, Matt, I love you. Hello, Dave and Jess. I'm a big fan of yours as well. Big fan. Wait, isn't that? That means more than love. I don't think it does.

Fanship? No. Much bigger than lovelness. Okay. And friendship. Yeah. A big fan would give me a kidney, would they? Probably.

A really big fan, yeah. Oh, okay, then. Yeah, cool. Really big fan. And I would not. So great to be here. My goodness, can you believe it? This is it for Block 2021.

The biggest block we've ever done by any metric. Yeah. So that might be confusing to American listeners. I know you don't have that system, but it was the most voted for ever we've done. It's the most topics we've ever done. Honestly, they're the two metrics I was thinking of. The most episodes. New most episodes are the most weeks

The most weeks of last before. The most times we've collectively met up in a room to record. So, yeah. But for anyone out there who doesn't know what block is, maybe they're tuning in for the top topic because it is that beak. Yeah. You know, it's attracted to new listenership. So basically what we do here every year is we have Blockbuster Tober month

where we do our most voted for topics. Matt puts out a massive poll this year over 150 topics, I believe, and we got thousands and thousands of votes. and this is the number one most voted for topic. We've been counting him down. We've been ticking off some big ones, but this obviously has got to be the biggest, baddest topic. And it was surprised.

I mean, a lot of the topics that got in was surprised me. Like last year's number one, I think, was about an author I hardly had heard of. That's right. And I'm struggling to think of his name now. Dave, you did the topic. HP Lovecraft.

See, I remembered something. Great work, because I was just thinking, Kathulhu, no, that's his big character that I did on bookcheat as well. Anyway, yes. But yeah, so it's interesting to find out the topics that people want to hear. I guess that's the pointer block. We let the listeners decide.

And yeah, this is obviously this is the biggest one this time. It was quite close. It only lit for clit was leading the count for quite a while. And then this one swooped past at the end. So should we get into it? For new listeners, the way it normally works is one of the three of us goes away. research as a topic brings it back and does a report for the other two. Kind of like a classroom school report, I guess.

Except at school you don't quite get heckled as much by your... That's true. Well, maybe not at your school. Yeah, that's right. In the affluent, east, we all golf clapped each other. Oh, a very good point. Very cool. At just a school, on every episode we've been sent to the principals of us.

So we always get on to the topic with a question. This week, I'm doing the report. report and the question is this. What show has been franchised around the world and been hosted by the likes of Chris Tarant, Jeremy Clarkson, Regis Philbin, Cedric the Entertainer, Terry Cruz, Jimmy Kimmel and Eddie Maguire. Ooh. House Hunters International.

The footy show. You've gone off Eddie McGuire for that one, haven't you? Yes, I didn't hear the rest. And the rest. Chris Tarant was a football for Collingwood, so that makes some sense. But it's a worldwide smash it. Can I phone a friend on this one? Yes.

Can I get a 50-50? Yes. Can I ask the audience? Yes. Is it? Sale of the century. Is it Gladiator? No, it's not...

Is it Ninja Warriors? No, it's not Ninja Warriors. Is it wipe out? I love that show. They've fallen off stuff. I think Jeremy Clarkson's top-kear sidekick hosts wipe out, actually. So you're on the right track. Okay.

But Eddie McGuire doesn't host that. Okay. Interesting. Eddie McGuire hosts the Australian version of this. Dave gave you some good clues just before. My dad has been a contestant on this show. Really? How'd he go?

Two questions, bombed out in the second. I feel like maybe, have we heard that story before? Yeah, I think we've talked about it. Without using his lifelines? He did not use a lifeline, which he should have. Yeah. What was the question? I was, annoyingly, for my dad, it was something about a,

like a Scottish crime writer that my mum is massively into. He gets home and he tells her the question. She's like, oh, of course it's Ian Rankin or something like that. And he's like, I don't know. Of course it's Shakespeare. Ah, I haven't heard of him. Really? Matt, Matt.

Because the second question, they're normally like meant to be very getable. Matt? Oh, no. So it was the version where the hot seat version of this show where there's multiple, so it could have been question eight and he just decided not to pass and just went for it. So there's no lifelines. It's hard for a second question. Yeah.

Is it? Who wants to be a millionaire? It is Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Who wants to be a millionaire? Which I learned is where they got the name from. A song that Frank Sinatra sang in a movie in 1956. Is that true? Yeah.

I didn't love that. I also just remember that the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire original show used to have a theme song that went. Dun, dun, dun, da, da, da. And then in the credits, at least in the Australian version, And it's just like a bunch of people looking like at a tower of not money. And they're like, oh my goodness, I want to be a millionaire. I think it's called the money tree. Is that what they're looking at?

I think that's what it's called. I mean, they're talking of fans. There's a whole community of quizzers who are big fans of these types of shows. And we get into them a little bit on this topic. This topic isn't just the show who wants to be a millionaire. It's more specifically a story about one of the. the 21st century's strangest crimes, one that's been dubbed a peculiarly British heist. It involves a couple named Charles and Diana, no, not that Charles and Diana, along with

a Welsh university lecturer that they'd never met before. And it occurred... Not that university lecture. It occurred on a 2001 appearance of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. This is the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, coughing scandal. That's funny. It's funny. It's going to be hard to not cough during this because there's some thought during this that coughing can be a little bit like yawning when you hear coughing

people start coughing more just people talking about coughing makes you sort of more conscious of it. Oh no I'm about to go again. Yeah. I'll have some water. I won't edit them out this time. Every cough is on purpose. Yeah, every cough is beautiful. Every cough is sacred.

So this was suggested only by three people interestingly. Wow. It's been so many people voted for it, but I guess not that many people were necessarily aware of it or thought of it as a topic to suggest it. It was suggested by Adam Knight

from Croydon, who I believe is a Patreon who again suggested it in the Patreon block poll. Also, Lucy Smith from Newington in Kent in England and Huey Herbert from Buckinghamshire,

Buckinghamshire in the UK and Olivia Gatliff from Hatfield in the UK. So obviously everyone who suggested it's in the UK, I don't think I'd ever heard of it before. And now I'm not sure, because I've been reading about it all week. Yeah.

I can't remember a time before I knew about the coughing scam. It's very, very vaguely familiar. I don't know a lot of the details, but I kind of know a little bit. And I don't know if that's from coming across it myself or seeing it in the hat and doing a quick Google. Right. But I don't have any...

I mean, it happened in 2001. You were both in the 11. the time. And another, I'll mention it very briefly, but another reason why people outside of England might not know it so well. It occurred on September the 10th, 2001. Whoa. Wow. So World News sort of was a bit distracted the following day. Wow. Truly a pre-9-11 world. It was, yeah. This was right on the edge of the pre-9-11 world. Anyway, shall we get into it? Yeah. I'll talk a bit of, let's talk a bit about who wants to be a millionaire first. I imagine most people listening, maybe have some idea, but the format was created by

David Briggs, Mike Whitehall, White Hill, and Steve Knight. I don't know if Adam Knight's the guy who suggested it a few times. I don't know if he's a relation, but that'd be interesting if yours. Apparently Briggs had previously created games for Capital FM Radio, including the bong game. Bong? The bong game. Okay. I'm like, oh, I'm listening.

That's a radio game. Got all the bomb game work. But I looked up, it's pretty much beat the bomb. You know, so there's that ticking, numbers are said. You say stop. Right, yes. And you want to stop it at the highest amount. And then afterwards they play the rest.

And you go, I could have won a million dollars. Every time. And I only walked away with 500,000. What a failure. What a terrible day I'm having. I said stop on $15. But do you just have to, like, answer questions whilst there's like a teenager with a bong and the soon as they finish

a hit, they're like, oh, how long before they go for it? Hey man, have you ever realised that the sky is huge? I've never had a bong. One bong, please. Is that the kind of thing I talk about? The grossest things. Yeah, Weidhornet.

A guy who's been in a band called Weed Hornet, so... He'd a couple of bongs in his day, I reckon. I've seen people do it and it is honestly disgusting to watch. Apologies, saw the bong heads out there. Sorry, bongheads. Let me to alienate our bong pro audience.

Hey, hey, bongheads. Sorry. Sorry. I'm so sorry for day. Sorry about that, you bongheads. I'm mainly talking to Tom Mitchell from Wheathornet, who I assume is a bonghead. And a listener of this show. That's not true, Tom.

It's not true, Tom. You're not a friend of the show. Oh, no, hang on. That part is true. You're a listener and a friend of the show. dear friend, but not a bong. Is he a litigious kind of guy? Is that why you're so quick to...

No, getting in there. So the show was initially going to be called Cash Mountain. Oh. Is there a chance that it would not have been successful if it was called? I feel like it would. And when I read that, I'm like, oh, that does sound like people who make radio games up. Cash Mountain. Yeah.

And is there like a goat going, ah! You're like, why is that there? Like, you can understand, like, the kaching south and, like, the hordes. Why is there a goat there? They were thinking, mountain goat. It's not clear, though, in the audio. Somehow it works. I love it.

It really sets the whole thing off. Presumably that is a pun on Splash Mountain. Oh, I hadn't noticed that, but yeah, that makes sense, which is what a... Little Disneyland ride. Right. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, this is a British... Well, is that Space Mountain.

Oh, no. Splash Mountain sounds like a thing. Splash Mountain's a thing as is Space Mountain. Brilliant. Thank you so much, everyone. Is it? Yeah, Space Mountain. Space Mountain.

I want to go to Space Mountain. I went on Space Mountain. Yes. And it's an upside down ride, which I've never been on before. But I was like, Jess, you're in Disneyland in Paris. You're going to go on this fucking ride. You're not going to get sick because that's all in your head. But then I got quite sick.

It spent the rest of the day holding everyone else's bags. Hey, everyone gets their thrills in different ways. Some people like bungee jumping, some people like Space Mountain. Some people like playing Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. That's a little call forward. Oh, okay. What do you call that? Yeah, a tease.

Tease. Anyway, well worth it. So I was originally going to be called Cash Mountain. I think they even did a pilot. So I watched a miniseries and I kind of regret doing it because you know when you watch a dramatization of something, you start to blur what's what. Yeah.

And I've avoided doing that in the past. but I really, it was really good. It's on, I think, on binge in Australia. So it's full dramatized Asian rather than a doco? Yes, that's right. Starring Matthew McFadden, I think his name is, from Succession. He's so good. And in Succession, he's American,

and so it was fun to see him, which, with what I assume is his natural accent. Very good actor. And the sister from Fleabags in it as well, as his wife. That's Charles and Diana. Oh, there you go. Anyway, maybe we'll talk a bit about that later. But yeah, the name was changed and was taken from the song Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, written by Cole Porter and sung by Frank Sinatra in a film.

What about was below your mind? Please do. Matthew McFadden. He is English. He is English. That was his real voice, but he's so good he don't know which is weird. Yeah, I know. That's right.

That's good. Yeah. His American accent is very good. and I'm like, yeah, this must be, he must be an English guy. Yeah. I kind of assume because... Going the other way is usually a bit more obvious. Yeah, I don't know why that is.

Yeah, and I only thought of because I was like, I'm pretty sure he's played Mr. Darcy and Prud and Prejudice, and it was very good at that too. Yes. Who brooding. Yeah, okay. And all those three characters are very different. Not that I've seen his brooding character, but he's...

Oh, him, yes. I implore people to look up his Wikipedia profile, because this photo has absolutely done him. Yeah, it's no good. Like a real disservice. He is an undeniably attractive man. This photo, you're like, oh. If I was his age and I'd be getting on there saying,

got to change that. Yeah. Geez, I mean, that just shows how unvane he is. I'm sure there's probably a word. No. Better word than that? Unvane. Unvane.

Perfect word. You nailed it. Thank you so much. Do go on. You're doing great. So, yeah, I'm guessing many listeners already familiar with the show's format, but I'll talk it out a little bit because I guess that's important. So there's 10 contestants.

This is the original format anyway. Not hot seat. As it began, yes, not the hot seat that Dave's dad's been on. My dad was definitely in the hot seat. But is that a thing that a lot of other countries have transitioned to that version? It was very strict at the start, which I'll talk about. Like the format, if you want it, you've got to have it in this format. but things started to get tweaked.

I'm not sure how many other countries have done Hot Seat. It's definitely gone around the world a lot and it's also not shown in that many countries anymore. But yeah, maybe you want to look up Hot Seat if that format's been used. I'm not, I didn't get that far into the modern stuff because this was all about the... Yeah, for a couple of years of the show. Yeah.

Back when it was like a global phenomenon. Yeah. I think it's kind of like COVID in a way. It was real big. It went around the world. Everyone's loving it. Yeah. But eventually it just becomes part of the flu cycle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not in front of mind. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But for those couple of years. Yeah. Everyone was talking about it. Everyone was talking about it.

And it just like, it felt like you'd connect with people different parts of the world and they're talking about it. And you'd be like, oh my God, it's so crazy. We're all the same in a way. So, on the original version, on the show, they're 10 contestants and they have to answer a preliminary question. Okay, the fastest finger

first round, which I love. And the fastest answer goes into the main game. That's like a, here are four things. You've got to put them in the right order. A, B, C and D. You've got to push these buttons in the right order. Whoever does it. Quickest gets onto the hot seat. Then,

so this contestant is asked increasingly difficult multiple choice questions. There's no time limit. The first is worth 100 pounds. The second's 200 pounds. These gradually increase until the 15th question is worth a million pounds.

Oh my God. In later versions they dropped the number of questions down, I think, but this original was 15 questions. For each question, they are able to see the question and four possible answers before deciding if they want to play.

They may quit at any time and keep their current winnings, but if they decide to answer, they must get it correct. Otherwise, they dropped back down to their last guaranteed point. Guaranteed points came at question 5, which was 1,000 pounds, and question 10, 32,000 pounds. Wow, that's a big gap between your guaranteed points, isn't it? Yes. So I think a lot of people would sort of go, I'm not risking it for the 32, but then if you got to the 32, you got a free hit at the 64. Yeah. And I mean, I always find it kind of interesting. Like, I get it if you, it's that sort of beat the bomb

type radio game and you stop at $15 and you could have had $500,000, you'd go, ah, damn. Yeah. But at the end of the day, if you've gone on who wants to be a millionaire and you've won a thousand dollars, that's $1,000 you didn't have at the start of the day. Yeah, not a bad day's pay. Yeah, you've still won some money you didn't have. To get onto this early version, most people got on, I think, by calling this number that

was a premium number that cost money by the minute. Oh, wow. You know, one of those expensive numbers. And some of these people were going to talk about, I don't go into this. this, but they called thousands of times. So they would have had to hit at least that to break even, I'm guessing. Yeah, okay. Also, I'd love

to meet the person who buzzes out on $15. I'm out. $15. Stop! You rise, the top prize is half a million. I'm out. I want $15.00. I came in with nothing. That comes my lunch today. I'm not happy. Jess, what are you going to do with that money? I'm going to get a sandwich and a juice. I can get both now.

I mean, you're all talking today's money, Back in the 90s, 15 bucks was quite a bit. That'd get you around the world ticket. Jess's tiny coffee these days. She brought in a tiny coffee, which costs a third of that, eh? What's going on with the world? So tiny. What if I'd gotten a big one?

I'd be bankrupt. Oh my goodness. I'd have to be asking you guys to spot me. You'd have to go back on beat the bomb. Get another 15 bucks. When I was in high school and they'd ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up, I would say professional game show contestant. Really?

I really should have followed through on that. But, like, you would be such a good game show host. Professional game show host. There's probably more money in that, too, if you get to be the host. Eddie's made more than any of the millionaire hot seat contestants. It's more consistent money. I think you really grew up in the boom time, obviously, which was brought on by who wants to be a millionaire.

You could go from show to show. There's so many. There's a guy I talk about briefly who did that. He, I think I even say, made his living for a little while of game shows. What a guy. Wow. So if you get a question wrong before question five, you leave with nothing. Which normally that wouldn't happen.

But if you had obviously an exception. He was on the hot seat. But if you go in the first five, there is... You'd have to be a real idiot to get out of that. Well, there are some great YouTube videos of people being super confident on the first question. Be like, lock it in. And then the host even says, would you like to read the question again? No, no, no, no.

And then they'll lock it in and you hear the audience go, I look at it and go Oh no Oh no That's something I learnt From this If you were ever going on Listened

If the audience gasps That's a sign that you should rethink Yeah it's not good So to help you get three Lifelines At any point The contestant may use One or more of these

You can use all three On one question if you wanted to Ideally you'd probably spread them out All on question one I don't like taking with 50, I want to call my mum. So, yeah, they're all very different. You've got three different ones, 50-50, where you get to remove two of the incorrect answers,

which always, it feels like that's rarely that helpful because you're like, you either know the answer or you don't. I guess you're going, it's between these two. I know it's not these two and you hope one of the ones that you think it is gets ruled out. That's the only time that would help you. But I guess if it's like an absolute corker of a question, like the million-dollar question, where it's just like, you know, something about some obscure flag or something. You've got no idea.

You go, well, it's one of these four. Now it's one of these two. Yeah. Maybe I'll take that risk. But that risk on the million dollar question is you're also possibly losing $468,000, right, or whatever the math adds up to. So, yeah, are you risking it on that kind of question? Would you have a guess on the million dollar question?

No, I mean, I'm about to hear about someone who did, but. I mean, I'd rather. that after $15. Yeah. And I had a lovely lunch. Delightful sandwich and apple juice. I should say there's a slight question mark over whether or not they guessed on the million dollar question,

but we'll get to that. It's not going to stop thinking ahead. So much sizzle. Yeah, we really are in a hot seat. So you've got the 50-50. The second one is the Ask the Audience. This one, the audience all have a little pad, and they click A, B, C, or D,

and then they get the percentage back. Normally these are good ones to ask for pop questions that you might not know, obviously, because you want the audience. If you ask them the wrong question, you're going to get a real split. Yeah, if they're not sure, if they're guessing as well.

Yeah, exactly. So, and then there's the phone of friend. And I think they, I'm pretty sure they would give three names beforehand. They'd all be sitting waiting just in case. So all 10 contestants would have three people. So there's, what's that, 30 people sitting and waiting for maybe one of them to get a call. But I guess you'd ideally have different sort of knowledge strengths on each of them. Yeah.

And then you go, oh, this question is about geography. I call Dave. Or this one's about maths. I call Dave. This one's about flags. I'll call Dave. This one's about Scar bands from the 90s. I'll call Dave.

This one's about pies. I'll call Dave. You know, etc. Or this one's about Triple J. Afternoon hosts. I'll call Jess. Yes. Woo! I know nothing about you.

Who hosts Weekend Arvos as of 2021? I'm going to have to call Jess in this one. Man, it's me. Jess probably know. Yes, Jess, I know it's you. Oh, fantastic. But can you answer the question? The answer is me.

Jess, I've just read out the possibilities. None of them are me. None of them are me. Which one is? Stop mucking around. We've only got 30 seconds. Jess, this is serious. Man, it's me. Well, I'm just going to have to go with Jess Perkins

But I don't know As a guess Feels like a coincidence Jess, are you telling me to lock in Jess Perkins Because that's your name Is that the only one you recognise? Obviously they've just done a random name generator I should have called Dave

Who would have known this? What would it be your Oh, fuck all. Yeah, don't call me No, just do what's your go-to? Because other quiz shows that came before this like we talked about in a bonus episode, which is vaguely related to this, the $64,000 question, they had to come in with their sort of their strong suit, their specialty? I don't know what mine would be.

I have no interests and no skills. What about you've watched Parks and Rec more than anyone I know, something like that. Oh yeah, maybe. Oh yeah, actually I was with a friend the other day and we were waiting for something else to start, like a TV show we were going to watch. So we just put on an episode of Parks and Rec, and I just quoted the whole thing. So yeah, maybe Parks and Rick, I guess,

but that feels lame. No, that's great. I mean, if you're on, like, what's Tom Gleason's show? Hard quiz. That would be the perfect topic for something like that. So, yeah, they're the three. You've got 50-50,

ask the audience phone a friend. I think you could call me for, like, film and TV stuff. Yeah. Actors who have been in such and such. I reckon I could do stuff like that. Yeah, which would be, you know, there'd be questions about that stuff

every game show you do, I reckon. What country is Matthew McFadden from? South Africa! He's just good at all accents. That's not the question. Which accents is Paddy McFadden very good at? Ooh, D, all of the above.

Maybe the most famous use of a phone, a friend, Lifeline was in 1999 on the US version. 31-year-old contestant John Carpenter got to the million-dollar question without having used a lifeline. and on the million dollar question he asked to phone his father then said to him, hi dad, I don't really need your help. I just wanted to let you know, I'm about to win a million dollars. God, it would have been so sweet if he was wrong. Yeah, it would be so good. Obviously, I'm like, it's so cocky, but my personality would make me go

just double-checking this question. I think I know, but I'll ask you anyway. I'm 99% sure, but I need validation. It was going to become an iconic moment either way. Yeah. Luckily for him, it was because he was. he ended up getting it right. I love the host, doesn't even muck around.

He's like, you're right, you've won a million dollars. Yeah. But he's sort of, because he kind of's been a bit tricked, Regis. That's Regis Philbin's hosting and I watched it last night. And he can't, like, I reckon he's trying to build up. This is a million dollar question. This doesn't have that up and on the show. Bit of tension.

And then he's like, oh, you were fucking with me. Cool. Good on you. Thanks, man. Very funny. Yeah. This is my show. I'm the star.

But he said he had no real interest in it, but it was put on at a dinner party. He was at the week before. So he's like, I've found all these questions easy, even though ones that are meant to be hard. So I called up and I got on a few days later. I don't know what a million bucks.

Oh, my God. He worked for the IRS. He seems like a pretty fun guy. And he said he considered quitting his job soon after, but didn't because, quote, after the taxes, it's not change your life. kind of money if you want to eat every day.

I guess he does. Whatever. Loser. Get some priorities, mate. Get a big house with a pool. Fill it with spaghetti. You'll be right. You're good to go.

That's, yeah, you can eat every day for quite a while. For ages. How much spaghetti are you eating, honestly? So you get a little bit off track there. We're talking about the British one, which debuted or debuted. Forget which one is the fun. But anyway, debuted on ITV in Britain on the 4th of September 1998, hosted by Chris Tarrant, who was the radio host for the show that had the bong game on it

and those sort of games. And he'd been on TV for decades by this point, TV and radio, very popular, big radio guy. And the show was an instant hit. Initially, they wanted to make it like event TV. So they put it in prime time. every day for 10 days in a row, I think. And it was so popular as extended to a weekly, a regular weekly slot.

I think on Saturday nights in prime time, which doesn't sound like prime time to me. That's the time when everyone's doing stuff. Yeah, they're sitting around watching who wants to be a millionaire. Well, apparently that's what happened. I mean, we had hey, hey, it's Saturday. That's true. On a Saturday night.

So in its peak run, in 1990, one episode was watched by more than 19 million viewers, which was around a third of the population. Wow. So it was a phenomenon. Yeah. Isn't that amazing?

One in three sitting down on a Saturday night, I guess. I think it had to choose the episodes as well, so I'm not sure which one that was. Like the bill? Yeah. Well, that's the thing. In that initial 10 episode run shows like the bill got bumped. Was that on ITV? I think I read somewhere that the bill got bumped.

It was like they just cleaned out the, They believed in it that much That it was going to be big You don't bump the bill Which is also a game From Chris Terrence radio show Bump the bill I believed you for way too long of that

Bbba Bump the bill The sound guys obsessed With the fucking weird goats Is that a camel These goats are not well So the show was franchised Around the world very quickly like that American version was within a year of the UK debut,

which had Regis Philbin hosting. Due to its success, within months the show was franchised in the Netherlands. Like I think it was like August or something, is that what I said, or whenever it was in the UK, and then by Fab it was on the air in the Netherlands with a local version. Then Australia and Spain was soon after that, and it just sort of spread around, the world.

There's since been more than 100 international versions of the show. On August the 16th, 1999, another show debuted in the US hosted by Regis Philburn. It was a big hit there also, averaging 30 million viewers per episode at one point. Which is obviously bigger than the Australian population, I think even today. According to Kevin O'Keefe, writing for The Atlantic, at the time it was heralded as a major comeback for the prime time game show. game show format in America. Those syndicated game shows continued to enjoy a great deal of success

like Jeopardy and the Price is Right. The show scandals of the 1950s had effectively stymied all primetime game programming. So back in the 50s, it took from the 50s to the late 90s for them to get over those 50 scandals, which we talked about quite a bit in the $64,000 question bonus episode.

If you want to hear that, you can sign up at do-goonpond.com or patron. slash do go on pod. Anywho, these international franchises came with strict rules. According to this fantastic little website I found while surfing the World Wide Web. It's called Wikipedia.org. Oh, oh.

And I think, I don't know, but I think it specialises in sort of game show trivia. Oh, great. Trivia. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's sort of like a compendium. Who wants to be a Wikipedia? Yeah, that's what I would have called it. But maybe that's what the W in Wikipedia stands for.

Who wants to be a millionaire? Yeah. So from that fantastic little resource, it says, British television producer Paul Smith first had the idea to franchise the UK program internationally. He developed a series of standards for international variants that ensured they mirrored the British original closely. For example, all hosts were required to appear on screen wearing Armani suit. No. No.

The host must be in Armani. Oh, they must, which is what Tarrant wore in the UK. So, like, he just rocked, whatever he rocked up in in the first episode. They're like, everyone's got to wear that. All right, everyone's going to have bacon and egg sandwiches beforehand because that's what he had. That's part of the success. Everyone's got to live on a church street. You're going to live on a street at number 13.

First contestant has to be called William. We don't make the rules. In fact, no, we do. We absolutely do. Also, producers were forbidden from hiring local composers to create original music. Instead, they had to use the same music cues used by the British version, which they all got impersonate it before. Yeah.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And they believed all that stuff really added to the drama, the close-up shots. Even the chairs vibrated to try and really make the... Did they? To bring the guests out. They had, like, speakers in them to make the guests feel a bit more tense. And then they'd have the music that went, doom, do, do.

Yeah. Like, to freak you. It is almost like the beat the bomb thing. Even though there's no time limit, you're like, oh, shit. Yeah, because back in the original version, like, sometimes, because the contestant could carry over from week to week, that have, like, three questions in the hour, because they'd be there for so long being like,

yeah. I don't really see what thinking about it for so long does. Do you what I mean? Like, if you don't know. know. What's just thinking about it? But maybe, like, something jumps in your head. Do you go, oh, I think the Latin word for that is actually this.

Maybe you can work it out. Yeah, Eddie McGuire, he'd say a lot of talk it through. What are you thinking? Say it out loud. This is boring television. Use your words. Yeah. But if you did get this, what would this kind of money mean to you?

Yeah, yeah. They're trying to think, Eddie, shut up. I'm trying to think my chair is literally vibrating. Yeah. I can't concentrate. I think it was in. Interesting, there was on one of the pages, maybe one of the Wikipedia pages, it went through like the catchphrase on different things.

And it sounds like Locked In was, that was Eddie's own. Right, because that's it. That is like a famous phrase in Australian pop culture. Yeah, Locket in Eddie is something that people would say out of context. Yeah. That means I picked that one. Just to like confirm plans, people will still say Locket in Eddie. Oh, you're still hearing Locket and Eddie.

That's so good. Locket in Eddie. I definitely have a friend who says lock it in Eddie. I hope it comes back. I don't think it ever left. Jess is pointing to her heart. I'd know my boo! Oh, sorry.

Oh, yeah. You got a tattoo, lock it in Eddie on your boob. But I think after this episode now, people in other countries are going to start saying lock it in Eddie. Yeah, even though their hosts weren't Eddie. And they would say, they'd say final answer. It seems to be what they would say on the Christaeron one. People are yelling at their iPods right now going, No, they said lock it in Chris Tarrant.

Lock it in, Tarrant. Lock it in, Regis. Everyone's saying it and I'm like, no, this is an Australian thing. It's actually a pretty cool thing we did. But it does surprise me if that is his own catchphrase if they have to wear an Armani suit, that Eddie's allowed to make up a catchphrase. Yeah, that's weird, isn't it?

And it probably happened organically. Yeah, and I suppose he's not saying it, they're saying it to Eddie. Yeah. Who can tell looking at a suit that it's Armani? Oh, I can. That's who I'd call it. And I'm wearing one right now. Okay.

That is not what I had in mind when I was thinking of Armani's suit. It's a beautiful fit. The difference between what you see on the rack and what you see... You're swimming in it, Dave. What you see on like a shop that's like one of those extremely famous fashion houses. And then what you see the people wear on the runway. There's a big difference. Yeah.

Way less garbage bags. Yeah. Like, can Eddie rock up in a garbage bag and be like, well, technically it's Armani. Like, he's got balloons, like, attached to his hair. Yeah, yeah. He's wearing, like, hair plugs. He's got blue-eyed shadow. His underpants from the outside.

He struts up to his chair. This is high fashion. Oh, you don't understand fashion? That's fine. I'm Eddie Maguire. I've got to hate Eddie, so. He's done a lot of bad things. He's done some terrible things and still very much employed and wealthy.

so that feels good. He, yeah, he has lost a few jobs lately. He lost the presidency at the Collingwood Football Club. Yeah, is he still on radio? I think he left radio. Okay, left. I think he chose, maybe. And you don't get paid to be president of a football club.

Don't you? No. Oh, you should. Yeah. It's a hard work, I imagine. Sitting on the end of a board going, Oh, hey. Hey, yeah.

Keep the board. Oh, better. get on to win a game, I'll tell you that. They're all like, all right, well lock it in, Eddie. I imagine very quickly he was getting that at the shops and stuff. Yeah, that would be tedious. Thank you. Do you reckon, so you got your pin?

He should lock it in, Eddie. Like get right up in. It's like, let him lock that pin in. Please. Please back up. I'm trying to pay for my groceries. Just want to sue. Hey, anyone, I don't you know.

Lock it in there, mate. Do you get it? I'm referencing your television show. Please leave me alone. The other thing, so you had the suits, the music. You also had the lighting system and set

design were to adhere faithfully to the way they were presented on the British version. Some of Smith's rules have been slightly relaxed over the years as the franchise development has progressed and they're allowed to say things like lock it in, Eddie. At what point did he abandon the Armani suit? He's like, all right.

Obviously, this isn't part of those. Yeah. You could wear a suit from, I can't think of another brand. Georgio Armani. You could wear it. Different Armani. Wait, what's the other Armani called? It's Armani and there's Georgio Armani.

I did not know that. I assumed that was the same thing. Just a coincidence? No relation. No relation. No relation. They probably isn't. This son, Greg Armani and Jarsiel Amani.

Just didn't have the same sort of exotic. Greg. I love Greg as a name. You know this about me. I know. I do know that about you. A beautiful name for a boy or girl. So I think in the $64,000 question bonus episode, we talked about how millionaire seemed to borrow a lot from those 1950s game shows in America. So it's probably no surprise that since the British version was launched, several people have come forward claiming that they came up with a format. Not people from the 50s, but just people from, you know, anywhere in between. I don't believe anyone's been successful proving this in court, though, according to that great Wikipedia.org website, while many pursued litigation, they were all unsuccessful, and each claim was later settled out of court on an agreement or settlement. So there was obviously some that

had some merit. I think there are ideas like, oh, someone pitched a show to assist a company of the production company that ended up doing it, and they had some very similar elements. and they said no no we came up with it but and then it also some of those signed an NDA or whatever so they weren't able to talk about it so you don't really know what the story was but but it is also it's the kind of game maybe this is just now because it's so ubiquitous this sort of game but but it feels like you know how do you come up with a game show a quiz game show that doesn't borrow elements that other people have probably thought of even if you haven't thought of yourself yeah

You know what I mean? I don't know if I'm making any sense there. Yeah, no, I get you. Anyway, we're getting bogged down in a bit of preamble here. We haven't got to the topic at hand really at all. But we've set some context. Yes. So Charles and Diana Ingram.

This is the Charles and Dana we're talking about. The Royal ones. No, sorry, these aren't the Royal ones. I think their surname is Royal. Oh. Or is it, yeah. Charlie Royal, Diana Royal. Yeah, no, these are...

Are you legally? allowed, like if you're a Charles in the UK, are you legally allowed to marry a Diana? When did the British royal Charles and Diana marry? It would have been a similar time because these two got married in 1989. Oh, but I think it just before that probably? Earlier, because the 80s? Yeah, the boys are both older than us, older than Dave and I. They would have, so this couple would have absolutely copped it.

I can see why they were driven to a potential life of crime. I just need money to change my name. I can't handle the jokes anymore. Yeah, well, they got a whole different level of jokes after this. I bet they were begging for the prince and princess. Now they're getting Charles. Yes. That was the least of it.

Anyway, we'll get to that. So Charles, a soldier in the British Army, met Diana while she was studying to become a teacher. and they married in 89, had three daughters. I think she became a civil servant. And he was promoted to the rank of captain in 1990, then major in 1996. So I think that's relatively high in the British Army. And that was, you know, that was in his early 30s, I guess. When he was on The Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Show, in 2001, he was 37.

Still pretty young age. Yeah, very young. So much ahead of you. If you see, you see him? It's funny how people in the past look older than they were. Yeah. I would have guessed that he was 45, but that's just how time works. Fashion back then, I guess people who were in their mid-30s then

and now in their 50s, so you go, and the fashion, you know, people stop changing their fashion. Not like me, I'm always up to date. Always bring your Amani suit. Yes. By the way, I looked up, Georgia Armani is the cheaper line. Oh, that's interesting. There's Emporia Armani and Giorgio Armani. Okay, thank you.

Thank you so much. I did not realize that, and I would never. I never, I don't want to get scammed down at the market. If I'm going to buy fake Armani, I'm going to make sure it's Emporia. Yeah, it's the good one. It's a good fake. Do you know what? Maybe it's also that like we are still remembering that we were kids then,

and so people, anybody over the age of like 18 looked ancient. Yeah, I reckon that's something. in that as well. Yeah, but I also just think they won't use an SPF back then. You know, they weren't as aware of the damages of the sun. Right. And we're looking after their skin as well. And I think they... Now, look at us.

I feel like we're gripping onto our youth more now as well, like desperately not wanting to grow up. Yeah. But maybe that's, maybe every generation thinks that. No, my parents had a couple of kids by now. Hey, what are you talking about goose? And a house. Yeah. Do they have a goose?

They never had a goose. Listeners, Jess, has a goose. Or a dog called goose, anyway. A goose called dog. So in 1999, while who wants to be a millionaire was hitting its popular peak, Ingram was sent to Bosnia for six months on United Nations peacekeeping duties. Back at home, his partner, Diane, was going millionaire mad. She loved it.

She was a quizer. She really enjoyed the quizzes. Her and her dad and her brother, they'd do the pub. quiz and all that sort of stuff. They just love quizzes, love trivia. A real egghead. Yeah, real egghead. Oh, she would have loved the show that has the eggheads on it. What's that show called? The Eggheads. It's called The Eggheads. It's great. What's that show with the eggheads? It's like it's got the eggheads on it. It's all based around the eggheads.

And it's a show, I've said this before. It's a show that looks like everyone involved thinks it's a dress rehearsal. No one's bringing any energy. Someone's got a shout action. Is it the one where there's just like a panel of people? Yes, yeah. And then the challenges. And it just feels like they, yeah, they don't know they're on the air. It's safe to say that no one is wearing an arm on. So yeah, Diana, a big fan of the quiz shows, as was her brother, Adrian Pollock.

And they became really obsessed when the show launched. In the early days, when the way to get on was calling that premium number, Adrian and Diana did a lot. I think Adrian did, you know, a thousand times or whatever. He called it incessantly. He made it on the show a couple of times, including on the episode that aired on the 21st of January 2000. Unfortunately, his finger failed to be the fastest finger first.

So he did not get into the hot seat. He went back to the drawing board, trained hard, even building a fastest finger machine to practice on himself at home. So he's at home in the shed with his fastest finger. The fastest finger machine. Plug it away on his fastest finger machine. Sometimes fast isn't always better. Really gouging away.

The fastest finger machine. And when he was relaxed, he was ready for the show. He brings it on with him. Oh, we're about to ask the question. Sorry, I've just got to use the fastest finger machine. Oh. And I'm ready. I'm good to go.

Chris, ask me the question. He's like, the show is over. You took ages. You take a while. That was so long. What is wrong with you? In his efforts to make it on the show, he stumbled across a secret underground

online community of quiz lovers called the syndicate or the consortium. Oh my goodness. Which was led by a guy from Hampshire in England named Paddy Spooner. And this day, he should be your hero. You're going to think you love this guy. Paddy Spooner.

I already love him. This feels like it's a whole other thing. This doesn't really have that much to do with the topic, but it's a very fun little side thing and a way more intricate set up than what the alleged heist ends up being. According to Devin Ivy writing for Vulture, Spooner was a university dropout who primarily made his living through pub quizzes and tournaments prior to his ascension as a game show contestant in his early 30s.

So he went from, it's making a living from pub quizzes, but then he hits the big time. Or as in like he's winning meat trays and then selling those meat trays or just like live it off, paying rent with a meat tray? Yeah. He's up with like, hey, landlord, I won two jugs of beer tonight. Yeah, here you go. Here's one for you, one for me. I think that's fair. Cheers.

Heru, see you next month. Yeah, he pays the rent. I'll come down. I'll be on your team. Whatever you like. Landlords team. Yep. Yeah, no worries.

I've got a $25 voucher for the pub. So we good? We square? I think I'm getting scurvy from my meat-only diet, but... But then I love it. And then he went professional. He went pro in 30s. So that's when he became a prolific millionaire contestant

and the first ever person to appear on multiple versions of the show. He went on in Australia, the UK and Ireland. Just like travelling around to be on the show? Yeah, I think that's right. And each show, like the Australian version, the easy questions in Australia, are very Australian specific. Yes. And that's the case elsewhere.

So it's like a question like a favorite pastime, chocolate treat is a caramelo what? Warbat, kangaroo, echinor, or koala. And even the audience sometimes chuckles. Yes. I know how easy it is. Of course, a caramelo akidna ready. No, it's not going to be that.

Obviously not. But if you don't know caramelo koala, that's like... They're just things you grow up with. Yeah. What the hell is that? Yeah, exactly. So, but I don't know if you spent time. enough time in each country because he did pretty well.

He won a quarter of a mill in Australia, quarter of a mill in the UK, but then he bombed out in Ireland winning a thousand euros. On the Irish version, he did not know the name of Pierce Brosnan's baby. Very Irish specific question, I guess. Pierce Brosnan's actual baby. Yes, I think so. So it was obviously big in the news at the time or something, and maybe he was travelling around, he missed it.

Oh, well, like in koala. So apparently he pulled an old coin out of his pocket and he flipped it, but he flipped wrong. So that was the €4,000 question. So he slipped back to the thousand. Do we know the name of Pierce Brosnan's baby? No. I don't think I do. Do you want to look it up?

I think he was originally at an award ceremony and he brought his two sons. I think I remember seeing that. That's nice. Pierce Brosnan's. See if I can find the actual question with this. There's this great resource. No, of all the questions. Well, it doesn't have all the questions, but I use it a bit later.

I'm going to ask a few questions. Are you just talking about there who wants to be a millionaire game? There's a, there's a fandom. Like I say, the quizzes are right into it. So a lot of the, if you're appearing, if you appeared on there, you've probably got a photo on this wiki with your questions and that sort of stuff. Wow. Like, for instance, his fastest finger first question on the,

Australian version was by what stage name do we better know Helen Porter Mitchell, which is, I wouldn't have known. Dame Nellie Melba? Yeah, that's right. So that's quite an Australian question. Yeah, but he got that. Yeah, he got that right. And then he got, yeah, got all the way through.

Including, like, his last question he got right for the court of a mill was the last convicts transported from Britain arrived in Fremantle in what year? Oh, my goodness. 1848, 1848, 18, 16, 18, 18. 78 and he got that right. I don't have a clue. Let me see. If we can get to the Irish version.

It's wild. It doesn't ask that question there, sorry. So does that mean then that they can't repeat questions ever? I think that's the idea they try not to anyway. Which is wild, isn't it? Well, I worked on another quiz show fact-checking for a few years. And part of that job was to check it against the database of questions that have been asked before. So to make sure there were no double-ups.

Yeah, right. So that was one thing you could flag. Or if it's a question that could have multiple answers, like it's too open-ended. Or you could even, you know, just argue something else. Which was funny. It was, I got pretty good at it, but it was an interesting thing as you go, you'd get away with this in trivia pursuit because you know what the question means or a pub trivia not. But for the TV you had to hold it to a higher standard

because they could be like, technically, there was this Dick Smith version of the caramelo koala called the carameloacchidna or whatever. So technically you could say that is true as well. So you have to add in something like debuting in 1958. Yeah, that's right. Which is iconic Australian chocolate. Imagine debuting a chocolate.

The big launch. Cut the ribbon. Everyone's like, Woo! Caramel, come one! Then they have one and they go, That's all right, I guess. That's fine.

That's pretty good. There was like a charity box going around and they were a dollar for a big one. Yeah, woo! So his children, he had five, so I don't know if it was a specific one at the time, Paris, Charlotte, Christopher, Dylan and Sean. You reckon it would be probably something like Paris?

Yeah, to be noteworthy. Is his kids named Venice? What's his wacky kids? Yeah, and that's what a lot of times the early ones are that they're like sort of almost puns or wordplay on that. Anyway, sorry. Sorry about that. Is it Paris? Parisian?

Harry? Or Greg? So anyway, this guy, Patty Spooner, which I think is a fantastic name. Amazing name. He became somewhat of an expert and he was like the leader of this underground community, the consortium. which he turned into a money-making thing. He brought together other like-minded quizzers, and as fans of these kind of shows called themselves quizzes,

and he basically, they sort of got together, figured out this is the easiest way to get on. These are the kinds of questions you're going to be asked to get onto the show, and it just got really organized. then they would start selling their service for a percentage of your winnings. Whoa. We'll get you onto the show and we'll take a cut from it. Right.

Do they start selling their own fingering machines? Fastest finger machine? Yeah, just with their brand, the consortium brand on the side. This one has a few settings. It's also got a slow set. I'll say start slow and find your speed. It's called. Like your way out.

Who wants to come in air? It's a bit clunky at the moment, but, well, you know, that's... Better than the original title, Come Mountain. Is it? No, actually, that's probably better, but... Splash Mountain. Who wants to climb, come, mountain? But that's interesting.

So, like, we'll get you on the show, but say you win $250,000, we'll just take a cut of that. We'll take a quarter or whatever it is, yeah. James Graham. who wrote the play and the TV series, which is called Quiz, which was talking about before, talked to bustle.com about Spooner's consortium saying, they were a series of expert quizzes and talented individuals who both grew to understand ways in which you could manipulate the phone line system to be selected to go on the show,

and then offered a service to clients who hired them to help them get chairwise, is what they called it. You want to get chairwise? We talk to us. which is basically how to It sounds like beat the bong How to work out being in the chair and how to play the game And also infamously the phone a friend

Being diverted to this special secret room Which was filled with quiz experts Who would as a team help answer the phone A phone a friend So there'd be a few numbers that they'd give people They call this number It looks like it's going to, you know, you'll say it's your uncle in Scotland.

But it's actually being diverted to this room where there's a dozen of us. We're listening to it on speaker. And if whoever's got it, we'll write down the answer and then they'll be able to give it. And the first person is just like, oh, hi Eddie. Oh, I'm so nervous. Let me think. Let me think. Hmm.

Waiting for somebody to write it down. Huh. I. Ooh. It's a toughy, isn't it? And then they just say the answer too confidently after that? Yeah, it's D. See ya. It's D. Her rope.

Graham also said that Spooner believes nearly 10% of winnings in the UK shows history came through their system, which is valued around 5 million pounds. Spooner kept a sizable percentage of those winnings for himself in his consortium. So he was making good cash out of this. He sort of says, I never did anything wrong.

It wasn't cheating. We just found loopholes. But that one feels like... That's fucking wrong. Getting you onto the show? Okay. But actually answering the phone with a room full of people. Surely that's...

You've signed something that says you... Yeah, because people who go about it in a legitimate way literally have their uncle in Scotland. And hope that he knows. Oh, no. That's dodgy as shit. Who did win the PJ in 95, you know? Yeah.

Oh, Steve Elkington. I'd call my dad found. Jeez, if that's right. That's fucking so good. Oh my goodness. It's not, but... You want me to Google, don't you? You want to be right.

No, that isn't right, but that's fun that I had and even had an answer. Yeah. From a golf who was playing then. Holy fuck. No. No. What? She's just holding up the answer.

Steve Elkinson won the... That's weird. Do you think my brain knew that? PGA 1995 Championship, Steve Elke. His only major... win. Do you think my brain actually knew that? Yeah, I think you actually knew that.

Oh my God. That's amazing. That made me feel weird. I've never even heard of him. No, that is incredible. I don't know, yeah, I would like it. You did that. That has freaked me out a bit.

Maybe I should go on the show. I think you should. There's no way I'd have the guts to lock that in though, Eddie. You know what I mean? I'd never lock that in. That's the problem, Matt. You've got to believe in yourself. Oh, that is so amazing.

That is honestly. trip me out. I'm feeling weird. What's happening? You don't have to feel weird. You got some trivia right. Even if it was like a guess, it was a good guess. And you won it in a sudden death playoff. Oh my God.

That is so funny. That is so good. I feel like I can't go on. No, but you have to is the thing. You simply must go on. That is so much. Okay. So after meeting with Spooner, so Adrian got on like a message board or something,

one of these old school blog things online. Adrian ended up meeting with Spooner, but didn't use his services, possibly because the percentage of his winnings he'd lose the consortium was too high. Which is interesting because you'd be like, if that is true, I don't, or maybe it was like, I'd actually don't want to go. I don't want to out and out cheat maybe because he was a quizer. Like, that's the weird thing about it. You'd feel like the people who love it would also love the purity of it.

It wouldn't feel very satisfying to win a quiz through sort of dodgy a meme. Yeah, pull your phone out and does Google the answer. Yeah. Like getting on there, I understand that kind of help. You'd be like, there's a lot of luck involved. And you're desperate to play. And they also, there was a lot of sort of conspiracy theories going through the community. Like, they don't want us real quizzes.

We're too boring to be on there. So they... Not that we're too good. We're too bored. That's so sad. Stick to the eggheads, mate. There were things like, you know, like Adrian thought... I think it was Adrian who thought, you know, don't...

He was Welsh. He was Welsh. And he's like, don't speak with a Welsh accent. Try and almost sound robotic when you call in because they don't want any of these sort of regional dialects. They want a robot. Yeah, which doesn't... They don't want any diversity.

Surely you'd want, on a show, you'd want more interesting. So, yeah, it's strange things like that. That's funny. And then they'd also have these thoughts like when you're on there, they'll give you easier questions if you're being interesting. You know, they want you to keep going. To keep you on. So, yeah, you've got to make it, bring some drama to the show.

Hello! Be a robot, be interesting, you know. Try and come up with your own. All these things are definitely... Come up with your own catchphrase. Yeah. Mummy wants pie Every time you get one right

Honestly They have such bizarre celebrities in the UK It would not surprise It isn't What is their celebrity culture does seem different Over there People are oh Jack Jones

Okay the mummy wants pie man And then they go and strictly come dancing I think my idea This is just based on the fact That Peter Andre was a big star there for a long time I'm like, they do have weird celebrities there, don't they? Mommy wants pie. The mommy wants pie guy.

Well, I relate. I can relate. Mommy got to eat pie. Correct answers. That's my pie. Can I just say the fact that they think that the questions are rigged is a way less surprising to me now that we've done the bonus report on the 64,000 other question and the controversy behind a game show and getting people that are interesting.

That's right. Producers selecting people. Because they definitely, in the 50s, the dodginess was happening on the other side of the camera. Totally. All right, Jack, say the line. Mommy wants par. I'm still dizzy from laughing to her.

So he'd already been on a couple of times. times but didn't his fast finger wasn't fast enough um so but he kept trying to get on the show and on the 8th of september 2000 he made it back only this time he was better prepared he'd had around seven months to practice on his machine he strategized he's relaxed he sounds like he had the theories that some of them maybe were right and some of them were nonsense maybe but he was ready but unfortunately yet again his finger wasn't fast enough because someone else It's literally just going, I'm going to lock in B no matter what. That's true, but this one you have to get the four in order.

So much harder to get lucky on that. You know, it's B, D, A, C or whatever the order is. I'm about to ask you a question as an example of what one of these might have been. Oh, God. Get your fingers at the ready day? Well, I've had my machine going under the table for hours. Because Adrian did not give up. He came back for a fourth time ago on the 23rd of December.

What I actually think? What are the bloody Grinchers there at Millionaire HQ? Yeah. Making Chris Tant work on Christmas Eve Eve. But this was his fastest finger first question on his fourth attempt. Dave, you say, I don't know, it's hard without a machine that you've devised and built yourself to do this. DCBA. Okay.

Oh my God, Dave. Oh, my God. That is correct. I'm not shitting you. Oh, my God. What is happening today? Oh, my God. I'm feeling so weird.

What's happening? That's even weirder than Steve Elkington, isn't it? No, Steve Elkington's so weird. If you're listening, Steve Elkington. Dave doesn't mean. all weird. Although maybe you are. Well, we really don't know much about you.

So I've just gone, bang, bang, bang, bang, DCBA to try and get in the... That is so weird. Give it to me. Give it to me. I'll have a go. Starting with the smallest. Put the answers to these sums in their correct order. A, half of 10, B, third of 9, C, quarter of 8, D, fifth of five.

It's 1, 2, 3, 4. It's all right? DCBA. It took Dave 1.1. second, although he hadn't even seen the question, took Adrian 7.1 seconds, which was the fastest time. He got it. He did it. I reckon I could have beaten that without. Yeah, I think you probably could have, yeah. But that it's, oh man, that's wild. Cheater the system. So he finally got to the hot seat. I watched it last night as well. And it was, Chris Tarant knew that he'd been there

so often. He was saying, making jokes like, you've been here more than me and stuff like that. Coming up next to a real loser. And when he said stuff like, oh, geez, you're obviously pretty desperate. It was kind of full on. But he goes, you're really desperate. He went on here. And Adrian replied, some people want a bungee jump. Some people want a paraglide or whatever it is.

But this is what I wanted to do. This to him was the equivalent of bungee jumping. This is my cocaine. But he was like, he was hard not to like just come across a real sweet guy. He loves quizzes. Bit of a Welsh accent. Yeah, just a very soft Welsh accent. Yeah.

It was cool. It was fun to watch. Once he was there, he was doing great. He answered the first 10 questions without needing a lifeline. Oh, that's great. But then on the 64,000 pound question, he became stumped. This was the question. In the USA and Canada, Labor Day is celebrated in which month?

Did you guys know this? May, July, September or November. I'd try to think what in Melbourne what our Labor Day month is and I got it wrong. Yeah, when's Labor Day? I think I can't remember. I looked it up and I'm like, oh, that's not what I would have guessed. Is Labor Day earlier in the year or is it? Because we have like a run of months where we have public holidays all the time.

Is it March? Yeah, I would have said March. There's a, and then there's a big gap. But because you... Or is it one of the later ones? It's different in every state in Australia pretty much? Have we just had it? Did we just have it recently?

recently? Is it more like September? No, there's nothing in September. I don't, I never get the public holidays off with my job. Yeah, me neither. You're right, the second Monday of March each year. Okay, yeah, it is. Okay, but so what are the options for the US Canada one? So it is May, July, September or November.

I've got 4th of July. Yes, and I have a Labor Day weekend they talk about. That's right. I would guess September. Okay, Jess. What were the other options, sorry? May, July. or November.

So it happens when you got the eight-hour day, I think, is when it's celebrated. So that's why in Australia, states have it at different times of the year. Yeah. But then I read that one of the wars meant that they got changed as well for some reason. Right. So, but it was funny because on one of the wiki pages, someone in the comments said something like, I can't believe he was stumped by this. even if he's not from either of those countries, he should know.

Why? I think they were from America or Canada, and they thought for some reason, surely it's famous enough. Yes, I'm sure there's people yelling at their iPods at home right now. Remember, we don't live there. Yeah. We couldn't, we could barely name our own. I mean, I couldn't. I wouldn't have been able to name ours, I don't think.

No, but that's the thing, yeah, I've never had them off. I've never had public holidays off. Yeah, that's right. That's the other thing. Working at a supermarket or any jobs I've done, you never really get those. customer service or radio and radio doesn't stop unfortunately. At school I probably would have been able to tell you. Yeah, I definitely.

Because you have them circled in your diary. Yeah. So anyway, he didn't know. He used his 50-50 lifeline, which left only May and September. Oh, that doesn't help me either. Which he also said he was leaning towards May, but he hadn't said that yet. He called his dad, so he had used no lifelines and all of a sudden he'd used two on this one. But he had a free hit, remember, because he's on the 32,000.

He's risking nothing, but he can double his money here. He called his dad, fellow trivia fan, like I said. Him and his sister and his dad used to do it together. His dad said he thought it was May. Adrian asked how sure he was, and his dad replied about 50%. It's unhelpful dad. Which got a laugh in the audience. Yeah, that's funny.

Yeah, good stuff, Dad. And that was sort of the way that Adrian. was leaning anyway, so he locked it in. Unfortunately, it was wrong. Dave was right. It was September. Good job, Dave. But he left with 32,000 pounds.

Good little bunts and burner. That's not bad at all, is it? That's not bad, as they'd say over there. That's what he would regret that in the end, I assume, because you're like, you want to hold them back if you think you're right. But like, if you're going to be wrong, you may as well use them all. Yeah, exactly. But if you've got nothing to lose, you're taking a punt, you're going to double your money.

Surely I would be going, I'll throw everything at this question and then leave. That makes sense, I guess in hindsight, but if you're thinking, I thought it was that, it's kind of confirmed it for me, I'll save this one, and maybe I'll get up to the 125,000. Yeah. So, yeah, so it was funny, the Chris Tarant reaction was like, oh, you've worked so hard to get here, but that's not too bad. He's like, yeah, it's great. It's amazing. It's 32,000 pounds.

Like, Adrian seemed quite happy with it. That's a lot of money. I mean, obviously, I've given up full-time work for the last three years to get here, so, but anyway. It's not quite three years' wage. In the quiz version of the show, apologies for spoilers. Maybe you want to watch that first or not, I don't know. But they sort of portrayed it. He was pretty shud.

He's like, I needed more money. I'm actually in a bit of money trouble, so I needed some more. But watching him, it didn't seem like that. He seemed quite happy. So now it was over to his sister, Diana. She made it on to the show on the 24th of March 2001, but didn't have a fasten of a finger. Come on.

So they're going, geez, this, and then there's sometimes, you know, each other's friend in the audience. You'd always have a friend sitting in the audience so that the host could sort of have a chat to them as well. So they're starting to notice. They're like, geez, this family's in here a lot. But then she went back through on the 9th of April

and made it through to the hot seat. And Adrian was her friend in the audience. And, you know, it's like, Chrisana, it's, uh. I couldn't find footage of this one. It was, it was geo-blocked or something. But I imagine, Tristan's going, familiar face up there. Hey, you can't stay away. Real funny.

Oh, push. You're stalking me. So her question was, for the fastest finger first, if you can get this one. Starting with the fewest, put these in that. Or do you want to have a guest, Dave? There's no way you can get this right again. B, C-A-D. No, that's wrong.

Imagine. Imagine, just for a second, guys. So this question was, same with the few, us. Put these national flags in order the number of stars on each. Oh, my goodness. China, USA, Israel, New Zealand. I would go Israel, New Zealand. What were the other ones?

China, USA. China, USA, yeah. That's correct, yes. She got it in five seconds 38. Wow. Maybe she would have picked it. But if I had it written in front of me because I blanked on it. Yeah, that's true.

The options where I was like, because you know, you think of the US, you know, that's maximum stars. Yeah, it's 50. And China's got a sprinkling around this. Yeah, so yeah. For Israel one. So, yeah, maybe you would have been in the ballpark there.

No. She got me. She got me. It's okay, Dave. It's all right, mate. If I could ever have someone, a friend on a show like that, it would be you. I think you'd be, out of everyone, I know,

you'd be so good of that show. Yeah. And I'd get question one and be like, Caramelo, Kangaroo. Steve Elkinton. Yeah, I'll get a Steve Elk. I've never even heard that name. It's just so vast.

Because general knowledge is quite general. Which is one of the funny things in the quiz dramatization, they showed them practicing, like in the lead-up to being on. Craig David's, on Monday, what did he do in the song? Whatever that song is. Met this girl on Monday. Yeah. Took her for a drink on Tuesday.

We were making love by Wednesday. And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday, we chill on Sunday. Okay, you'd have that one. You got to rest when you're just banging. That's how I learnt the days of the week in Spanish. That's right. Mother's girl on Lunez. Took her for a drink on Martez.

We were making love on me a coles and on Jueves, Viennese. Saturday, we chill on domingo. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. So she got the first seven. questions right without needing a lifeline, so they're doing quite well. But it's funny, you get through a lot of questions early and you're not up to big money still. So she was up to the £8,000 question when she had to ask the audience. This is the question, which of these

is not a genuine region of Australia? So for us, this is an easy one. Well, let's find out. Yeah, I know. So she used the ask and ask the audience. So it's A, Northern Territory, B, South Australia, C, Western Australia, or D, Eastern Territory? D. It's D. That's correct. She asked the audience, 91% of the audience knew it was D, which is interesting. So, yeah, for some reason, the English audience. We don't have that many.

Yeah. Like, it feels like you could have a quick look at a map and clock them all, Diane. And I, well, I guess the... A bit of geography wouldn't kill you, would it? And maybe, because I haven't seen it, maybe she was leaning towards it, I'm not sure. No, I say she's an idiot. But because 91% of the audience, you go, oh, they're obviously learning about their little colonies in school or something. Isn't that sweet?

Because, I mean, I'd really battle with their counties. Of course. Although watching it, one of the questions that came up on the show, the dramatization of it, they're all stumped on. I knew it was like, which of these four only shares a border with one other county? I'm like, that's Cornwall because it's tucked down there in the... Yeah, nice. Great way. And they were stumped on the show.

but I bloody knew it. And I'm like, isn't that weird? You think in England you'd know that. I wonder how many counties there are in England. I think that's quite a few. Because we've got six states and two territories. Like it's pretty... See, that's the guy.

I'd get my fingers out if that was a question. All right, so what have we got? We got Tasmania, one. I should be able to remember the six. Yeah, it's only six. And two, like, that's where it gets you, because Northern Territory is in a state. That's where they get you.

They get you there every time. But is Eastern Territoryists. Yes. So she went with the 91%, which was smart because that was correct. She got through to the 16,000 pound question, which was, Jess, I reckon you'd know this one, but she needed a last one on this one. Or is it, or is it like a periodic table? Oh, like one of the first 12th?

That would be a really handy one now. Just in order. I don't know they're symbols. What's your other fandom? I don't know. With whom did Dolly Parton sing a duet on the chart hit, Islands in the Stream. Oh, my God. But it's like one that, I mean, I'm no huge Dolly fan, and I know this pretty well.

Garth Brooks, Kenny Rogers, Vince Gill or James Ingram? It is James Ingram. I love your word, James. Kenny! So she called a friend Russell, and I think again she probably was leaning towards it, but was playing it safe. And he said that he was confident it was Kenny Rogers. So she locked that in, moved on to the third.

32,000 question, which was, which of these is a type of shark? Matron, doctor, nurse, or surgeon? See, they've done a joke one there. Yes, that's right. Yeah, so they'll do that sort of stuff. It's a type of shark. Yeah, I looked at it and I went. This was a nurse, right?

I didn't know this, but that is correct, yes. Bray nurse? Which she locked in. I reckon I would have guessed matron. I'm like, that's somehow or surgeon, nurse, just doesn't ring any bells to me, but that was correct. hopefully I'll remember it now. I just got to think in my head,

oh, those nurses, they're real sharks. But matrons, they're not. They're not. There we go, nailed it. Nailed it. Surgeons, not sharks. Not sharks. Okay. Yeah, got to remember that.

Surgeons are not sharks. Just in case I'm ever on a quiz show like this, and they ask the same question. And you'll just yell, surgeons, not sharks, nurse shark. That's not one of the options. But like her brother, she got stuck again on the 64. A 4,000 other question, which was, who wrote the nonsense poem, The Hunting of the Snark? Does that ring any bells, Dave?

That's got to be your Lewis Carroll, right? Oh my God, that is a Lewis Carroll. He's the nonsense poem guy. Is that even the four options you've gone for it? Well done. The options were G.K. Chesterton, Hillair Belloc, Edward Lear, or Lewis Carroll. Lewis Carroll's the only one I've heard of. Her first instinct was Edward Lear, but she also thought it might have been Lewis Carroll.

She decided to go with her gut, which they say, you never go with your gut. And that's what she locked in, though. And, yeah, it was incorrect. The correct answer was Lewis Carroll. So both Diana and her brother, Adrian, went home with the same 32,000 pounds. Is her brother in the crowd yelling, no! No! Loser!

Someone yelling at no from the crowd is a funny idea. He's loving it because it means she's not... Better than him. one-uping-in-in-law. Sibling rivalry. Suck it! Well, if you believe the dramatisation, which at the start, they do say

some parts of this have been changed for the drama, but in it she gives a lot of her winnings for him to pay off his debts, which still isn't enough. So I reckon he's probably barricing for her. So they've both been on, neither could return now. This is their big dream, but they can't go back. So they're a bit chatted, unless they go to Australia or something, which I wonder if they considered.

She's like, oh, I'll book a flight for the Eastern Territory. You absolute fault. You don't get it anyway. And on the way over, I read a book by Edward Lear. Ugh. Getting idiot. They were keen to somehow, you know, get back on there, maybe to win some more money to help pay off this debt or for whatever reason. They just loved it.

luckily her husband Charles hadn't made it through yet he wasn't a big quizer like them he's got no interest it seems like he has no real interest in trivia please live at our dream a big part of any kind of relationship particularly in like a marriage is is you know taking interest in your partner's passions and supporting them through that you don't have to be equally as passionate but you've got to be supportive yeah so and that's what he did when she called up for him and registered him on the show apparently. Hello, I am Charles. Hello, everybody. My name's Charles.

I would like to be on the show. Thank you. My wife is beautiful. He just doesn't compliment her enough. She has to do it herself in character. Hello. So he... Is that convincing Dave if I called you?

So I convincing. Hello, Dave. Charles, is that you? Sorry, ready? He actually first got in. She was obviously trying for both of them, or if that's even true. I mean, again, that was on the quiz dramatization

that she called up for him. But he got in, but didn't have a fast enough finger before she even got through for her hot seat go on the 27th of January. But then they also went on together on a couple, special couples episode on the 24th of March. Is this before his own solo appearance? Before both of they made it to a hot seat. Yeah.

But both of their fingers together were still not fast enough to get through to that hot seat. But he made it again on what was due to, the episode that was due to out on the 15th of September that was filmed on the 9th of September. and I already told you, but the filming goes through to the 10th of September because he was on still at the end of the episode. So he practiced 20 minutes a day on the fastest finger first machine that his brother-in-law has made. Wasn't a big quiz fan, but was an intelligent guy. Maybe didn't necessarily have the love of the trivia.

It was smart, but those things are probably not the same, right? Yeah, I'm smart. Yeah, IQ is not the same as knowing trivia. Yeah. Necessarily. And that's what he's maintained since. Yeah. Thanks for neither of you rolling your eyes when I said I was smart.

That means a lot to me. Thank you. Of course you're smart, Bob. Hey? Stop ruffling my hair. Hey, hey, car. A little bud. You're all right.

Car. Anyone who got 69 on the enters, that's a nice level of intelligence. It's hard to get there. Yeah, yeah. Hard to pull that off. Well, when you do all art subjects, it's surprisingly easy. But you had to do some maths to make sure you got 69. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. Like I say, that's top third. So I'm going to walk you through how things went down on the show. And I figure what we're doing, why not go through all his questions at the same time? I think it's a bit of fun. That way I can tell you when, because I've watched the replay, It took a while for the footage to come out, I should say, when they ended up pulling the episode.

It was meant to go out on the 15th. Oh, before it aired. But it never aired. They put it out since there is conjecture about how, if they've boosted up the sound of coughs and those sort of things. Enhance. Enhance, yeah, to make it seem maybe worse than it was or whatever. But let's talk it through.

Love this. Obviously, you two are at a disadvantage when this episode was finished. You were both 11 and it was in England. So it's going to be harder for you than it was for a 37-year-old Englishman. Interesting. But together, we would have been 22. That's true. Dave, you got a real advantage, although I think Jess would know this one too,

but it's a real playing into your... Lock in Hercules Poirot. Oh, my God. Yes. You're kidding. Well, not exactly, but it is... Be, Poirot. But it is a Poirot-related question.

Yes. Belgian. You are ridiculous. But it's an order thing. So you've got to put these words in the order they occur in the title of the Agatha Christie thriller. Nile on Death the Nile. So I think you probably would have beaten Charles here. He's time was 3.9 7 seconds.

Pretty quick still. How is quick? Well, you know, under the pressure of it all. Yeah, because it's so easy to sit here and be like, I'd be so quick. But on the pressure, you're sitting on a buzzing chair. Yeah. Not everyone got this right. I think 70 or 80% of them got it.

Nile the death on. Yeah, what other order? I reckon you're going real quick. The, the stands out as a first word there. Or maybe people are literally doing what I said before and just going bang, bang, bang. Yeah, I'll try your luck. Yeah. I'm not that fast, so I'm just going to have a stab.

So, yeah, so he gets through, CBDA. You know how we got it through. then he got through the first five questions without much drama 1,000 pounds, here's the question on which of these would you air laundry and this is what we're talking about before

the kind of jokish ones a clothes dog a clothes horse a clothes rabbit or a clothes pig clothes pig I agree look it in look in D clothes pig

close pig come on clothes pig Chris is like do you want to read the question again no no clothes pig I know what I call My one at home.

Yeah, that's the kind of thing. You find this obscure novelty thing. It's in the shape of a pig. This is what I'd draw my clothes on. You could probably make, but no one's getting that wrong. So it's, of course, Clothes Horse. I know you guys have been very funny. All right.

Sorry, Dad. Please take this seriously. Sorry, Dan. That was for 100 pounds. We're having a bit of fun. We've got two sandwiches. That's the first question. That's the first question.

We're going to have for like a nice dinner together. 100 pounds. That was great. Oh man, how nice to talk about. It's like 250 bucks. Yeah. It was when I was in the UK the first time. I think it's probably about 200 bucks now.

That's not bad. That's not bad. 100 bucks each. That's a nice dinner. Let's have a couple of cocktail. Let's share garlic bread. Oh, please. For the table?

Free ourselves. Chips for the table? Love to break garlic bread. By the way, can we have chips for the table with lunch today? Oh, fantastic. Oh, that doesn't bode well for how enthralling this report is. Honestly, it's very, it's super interesting. It's really interesting.

It's really interesting. Because I am a big quick. fan loved who wants to be a millionaire back in the day, but I haven't seen the dramatization. I don't know the story. So this is cool. Question two for 200 pounds. What name is given to a person who is against increasing the powers of the European Union? Prick.

Euro-sceptic, Euro-Star, Euro-Trash or Eurovision. Euro-Star, I believe. Skeptic. Youroskeptic is correct. I'm sorry, yeah, we're taking it seriously. No, we're not. That was my joke answer. The Eurovision, another little bit of a joke answer.

So I have a bit of fun in the early one. What Eurovision actually is is a singing competition. So that's a bit of fun. That's a bit of fun. I think that that's a star. Yeah, I think that's a star. Which is in that, I think that wasn't too far away from making the block topics. I think that was in the vote.

And I think people always, it's a pretty popular topic. Because Australia's in the Eurovision as well, of course. I think it loses votes in America because maybe they're less aware of what it is. Big thing in Europe and Australia for some reason. Question three for 300 pounds What is butterscotch? Shortbread, pavement game, garden flour or brittle toffee?

Brittle toffee. Correct. Yum. For 500 pounds. Which of these is the nickname for a famous Scottish Army Regiment? Black Cat, Black Widow, Black Sea or Black Watch? Black Cat, Black Widow, Black Sea or Black Watch?

Black Watch. Yeah. Correct. But like I couldn't have any confidence. Exactly. Just sounds the... But obviously for him, that would have been quite straightforward. For £1,000, first safe point,

the Normans who invaded and conquered England in 1066 spoke which language? I wonder if you know this without... I feel like this is one I would have known for some reason. It is French, it is French, correct. I knew that one. Yeah. Other options are German, Norwegian or Danish.

Genuinely surprised. You know where I learnt that? Where in time is Carmen San Diego? Oh, great. See, people say Don't give kids too much screen time I learned a lot from that game And probably from the Simpsons too

Yeah Most trivia I know is from the Simpsons Yeah, so Honestly, the more scream time The better Scream time Scream time Scream time

More scream time Just cut to Dave Just screaming in their face 315 Scream back at me Scream time Scream a daddy Or it's you showing them

the what, 99 96 film scream. It's scream time. What's your favorite scary movie, kiddo? Mine's a scientist. So question... So we're at the safe level. Congratulations, Jess.

We're going home. So you and the Major have all made it to at least a thousand pounds. How fancy is our dinner going to be now? Like too fancy. Yeah, it'd be too much. Like they're bringing out food I've never even heard of. Yeah. You're shouting the bar.

Yeah, fine. I guess I've got... For some reason they've paid us in a tab for this place. We can't cash it out. We can't go multiple times. It's got to be in the one night. One sitting, so like, oh, fun, fuck. Get a bottle of bourgeoisie for the room.

Yeah. Is that a drink? Is that enough? Is that a drink? Is that enough? Probably. It sounds fancy. That's more than our tab.

Okay, let's bring that back a bit then. Yeah, well, chicken nuggets for the room. So, can I say at this stage, have we heard any coughing? I don't know. There's no coughing. or are you going to say that later? I know, I'm going to, I'll go through it as I watched it. And I see it a little bit different from maybe how it's betrayed.

Some of the coughs, I'm like, I'm not, they're like, clearly this was a cough. I'm like, that didn't seem like it fully linked up. Is the idea of the cough to give away an answer? Yes. So supposedly they, but I haven't, supposedly haven't set up this scheme yet. This is day one. Oh, okay. They come up with the scheme, supposedly, after.

Because I was just thinking like if it's the first question And they're coughing on beer, you'd be like, I fucking know that it is. Yeah, yeah, shut up. Yeah, that would be frustrating. All right, you're yelling out. Yes, all right? That's easy. I know it's Black Watch.

Thanks for trusting me. I'm in the army. I know that better than you. Shut up, Diane. Sorry about that. Chris. Can we get her a lozenge? Jesus.

I get her name wrong to annoy her. Diane. Diya. Cop that. Yuck. So question six for 2,000 pounds. He needed a lifeline. I reckon you would too.

The English version of this, I think, like the Australian version of this, we probably would maybe know. Actually, I probably wouldn't because it would be about home and away. Maybe in the 90s, I don't know. Coronation Street? Yes. Jeez, that's good. Yeah, you're incredible. In Coronation Street, who is Audrey's daughter?

Any ideas? Janice, Gail, Linda or Sally. Sally? He laughed. He's like, I've never seen that show. He's like, maybe it's on TV sometimes. So Audrey's daughter. Yes. Generationally, there's no way for me that Audrey is having a gale.

Yeah. It's Linda or Sally. Janice, Gail, Linda or Sally. They're older than Audrey names. Linda or Sally. I know Audrey's a classic name, but when it comes around. Sally, I say Sally. Why said that before he didn't react?

I mean, we don't know if Audrey is maybe she's really old You know, she might be a manna. It can also be... Janice. Gail. So do you want the... Ask the audience result?

Yes. Because it's quite helpful. Yes, I do. 89% said Gail. Gail. Oh, my theory did not hold up. So he locked in, Gail went with the audience. Clever use of that question, I guess.

Was the whole audience coughing? Right? Who reckons me? Cough, cough, cough. He was looking. Good to the first five. Now he's down one lifeline. He burns another lifeline on question seven for £4,000.

The River Foil is found in which part of the United Kingdom? England, Scotland, Northern Ireland or Wales. Another one that's probably trickier for us. The River Foil. Foil. Foil. Does that sound? What's Foyle's War?

That was like an ABC sort of program. It's an ongoing. Is it World War I show? but it's like a guy solving crimes around the war. Right. So that's sort of the backdrop. That sounds like a show that fits right on ABC. Yeah, yeah.

Honestly. That feels like a robot's made that. That's big Saturday night viewing. That's amazing. They've got crime solving matched with a world war. That could not be any more ABC. Probably a BBC show, which is what a lot of those ABC shows are. So options are again.

England, Scotland, Northern Ireland or Wales. So he didn't know he phoned a friend. Do you want to go with his phone a friend? Gerald? Do you trust Gerald? I'm going to just guess Northern Ireland, but then what does Gerald say? Well, you're doing better now because you haven't burned a life on, but you got the question right. He also says Northern Ireland.

Your team is going great. This dinner is getting more and more elaborate. More Bojolet. Apologies for the people yelling at their iPod. Bojolet is a color or whatever. That's a soft purpose. Purple. More Bojolet.

We've just bought a colour. I'm in the fanciest restaurant. They're going, okay. You're ordering a colour? Okay, I'll bring it out. They call you bluff. So his friend Gerald says I'm 99% sure that it's Northern Ireland. He went with that, got the £4,000.

And then that sound went off. A goat. Which means he has to come back the next show. he's got one lifeline up his sleeve of the 50-50 and he's on 4,000 pounds. So the production team's guard, well, he won't last much longer than this. He hasn't gone too well.

He's a couple of phone of friends early. A couple of lifelines early. He didn't know where foil was. At the end of the episode, Chris Tarant reads out the names who are going to appear on the next episode. Oh, yeah. For the fastest finger first.

Diana recognizes one of these names. Tequan Wittok. Tequan. That's a name you to remember. Oh, that's good. A Welsh name, I assume. He's a Welshman, a Welsh university lecturer. She knew his name as he was a fellow quizer.

It's from the quizzing community. One that her brother, Adrian, had actually helped mentor. Apparently, Wittock noticed that Adrian had been on the show multiple times. He's like, oh, this guy keeps coming up. He figured out who he was. He went over to his place. What? And he asked for help.

He said, how do you get a lot? on. I like quizzes. I'd love to get on. And Adrian, I think maybe it was a bit flattered by this or something, and he helped mentor him, took her quite seriously. And yeah, so that's why Diana, and I think he even asked Diana to help. She never met him. I only spoke to him on the phone, but she, she recognized his name. She called him that night for about five minutes. It's unclear, like the two sides say the conversation was about something different. The show and the prosecution, they say that this phone call was setting up the system, the coughing system.

Diana says she knew him and she mentored him. She called him to congratulate him on making it through to the show. Yeah, hey, I heard you going to be on the show. That's cool. Which is believable. Five minutes. And the opposition would say, I know, that's what do you call it? The defense would say, you reckon they set up a whole coughing system in front.

five-minute phone call. Yeah, that seems pretty elaborate. So, yeah, so that's an interesting point, but that is how supposedly it was set up. The following day, Charles fronts up again, wearing the same polo shirts, beautiful polo shirt. Same Armani polio. Polio. Yeah, it was a while ago. They hadn't had the cue for polio shirts, yeah. But they, it was, yeah, it was just like a real 90s looking polo patches of blue and red and whatever. and our man Matthew McFadden, he wears the same one in the show. Oh, they got it for it.

So I watched it. I'm like, that's a fun shirt. And it was the exact same shirt. I'm like, that is fantastic. Love that eye for detail. Yeah, it's very important. Something that the prosecution said was a bit weird. Diana didn't, she said later, she's like, oh, I'd called him because I know him,

but she didn't talk to him when they saw each other there. It was like they didn't communicate with each other. Maybe that's fair enough. He's about to do the fastest finger first. What, she's supposed to wave from the audience? Yes. Hey, hey! It's me, Diana.

We spoke on the phone last night. Tekwen. Techwin! So, yeah. So I sort of, I can see why they'd think that's a bit weird, but I can also see why she wouldn't necessarily do that. They're also slightly awkward people, too, it should be said. They come across as lovely to me.

Watching more and more, I mean, you see more of the major. And I'm like, I just like him. I want him to be innocent. But anyway, I went from thinking he was to was and backwards and forwards the whole way through. And still I'm unsure. But let's talk it out. So Charles fronts up again in the same shirt. That doesn't matter.

But anyway, so he says he's got a new strategy and a new sub-strategy, which Chris Tarrant sort of joke with the whole way through. He's like, what are we working with now? The sub-strategy or the strategy? and he said part of it was he was going to try and believe in himself more. He talked himself out of things and that's why he burnt some of his lifelines too early. He also said he's going to read him out and really think about him. He's going to read out all the options, go through them or more, what the prosecution says.

He's reading him out to give the coffer a chance to cough on the confirm or whatever. So that's how it's set up. Yeah. At this point, no one knows that, obviously. in the production. Sure. And the coffer, it's just Tequan or Diana's also, there's a second

coffer on the grassy knoll? That does. The plan, supposedly, is just for Tequan to be the coffer. There's no footage of Tequan coughing. Okay. They believe the mic

over the fastest finger first people was the mic that was picking up these coughs. And they assume it was Tequan. that's what they suggest you do see I'll talk about it

Diana does have a cough at one point as well which you do see because there's always a camera on her All right So we're up to the $8,000 question I think 8, £8,000 question sorry Which was who was the second husband of Jacqueline Kennedy You know another area of expertise for Dave

Because he did a report about it What his name is Onassis And his first name is It's an absolute ripper of a name Yeah it is But I mean that's enough Because the options are, would you want to try and remember? I'm just trying to think, because he's a Greek shipping magnate.

Can I just ask, do they put Onassis at the end of all of these names? No. Oh, my God. That's quite easy then. What does it start with? A. Aristotle. Yes.

So it's Adnan Khashoggi, Ronald Reagan, Aristotle Onassis, or Rupert Murdoch. And he goes straight away. He's like, you know, I know, it wasn't Reagan, it wasn't Mer. I think it's like, I think it was Aristotle Onassis. He said that pretty much straight away. He repeats it. When he repeats Aristotle Onassis, there is a cough that can be heard. Which seems to.

Is it straight away or is there a pause in a cough? There's a pause and a cough. Sometimes there's different levels of pauses before the coughs. And when there's a long pause, I'm like, they're saying that that's confirmation, but that was quite a long gap. And what is there? Like 150 people, 200 people in the crowd and the semi-circle watching. People do cough.

And yeah, that's right. And while I say it later, there was quite a few more coughs than the ones that they allege were the, you know, the suss coughs. Because, and that question, that's not a very tricky question. Jess and I were both bang on that one. Yeah, and he said straight away, that's what he thought it was. but it, you know, if it ended there, I don't think we'd be talking about it now.

I think if it ended in multiple questions time, it wouldn't be talking about it. It was really at the point. Okay, okay. So he gets it, right, locks that in, and he keeps moving. It's only in hindsight you go back and look at the whole thing. You go, oh, was that a suss cough there? So he's up to the 16,000 pound question, which is,

Emmental, or Emmenthal, maybe, is a cheese from which country? France, Italy, Netherlands, or Switzerland? I do spell that? E-E-E-D-M-E-T-H-A-L. He talks about, he's like, I don't know, I've had this cheese a lot. I think it's Switzerland. I've had this cheese. I'm just trying to picture it.

Does it say made in Switzerland on it? I'm trying to picture the cheese, is what he's saying. He reads out all the options again. There's no cough. As in the contestant reads out of it. Yes. So that's just, you know, but I'm sure people do that. Yeah, because they used to drag the thing out, like I said, for the whole hour.

And they're true. And I think Eddie even would say it on the Australian one. He's like, read them out. See if any of them, it sparks anything in you. So it definitely is a tactic that people do use, I'm sure. France, Italy, Netherlands, Switzerland. It's not French or Italian. This is me playing along.

Well, that's true. You're going to rule out one more and you got it. Let's lock in Switzerland. Yes, Pop, you are on fire. And so is the major who also locked in Switzerland. And no one coughed. No one coughed. So that means he moves on to the 32,000 pound question.

If we do it, I'll just fart. Yeah, but how does she fart on command? That's ridiculous. And then there'd be all these doctors in court going, it's not possible. We've inspected her bails, and there's no way she can control them like that. I call my next witness, Mr. Methane.

They go I'll Mr Mayfane Farts on cue Is it possible Yes And I will now fart The Star-Stangled banner

I'll now fart the splash Mountain anthem So now it goes on to the 32,000 pound question Left lock in Jess This is going to be

A guaranteed Great Night Out If we win 32,000 This one I reckon This is the kind of thing That if you were older at the time

You would know but I think it might be a tough one. Who had a... Or maybe you were the perfect age for this, actually. Who had a hit UK album with Born to Do It Released in 2000? That's Craig David. Okay.

The options are, Coldplay, Top Loader, A1 or Craig David. Born to Do it. Walking Away is on... Walking Away and Seven Days is on that album. We had it. Oh, there you go. So he made a joke. He's like, Toploader.

That's part of a rifle. So I don't think it's that. He's like, I'm thinking it's A1. He's got an inkling, it's A1. And he also said, I've never heard of Craig David. I think it's A1. But he's unsure. And he asks to use the 50-50, which takes out Coldplay and Top Loader, leaving A-1,

which is what he was leaning towards. And Craig David, he's like, I think it's A-1. Spends a lot of time thinking about this one. And his wife, Diana, coughs. She seems to look down to the pit where the fast his finger people were. And obviously there's no cough coming from down there, potentially because he doesn't know the answer himself.

So the prosecution argues she went off plan and coughed here to help. She stepped in. Yeah. She was like, fucking out to a phone. Cough off. So she coughs a couple of times. And it looked, because you can see her doing it does look a bit fake. But it also, it's not like right.

It's in gaps. It's in pauses. So I'm like, I don't. To me, how much have they planned out this go? Yeah. If you cough in like three or four seconds after saying Craig David, that is telling me that it's the last one I said or something. It seems like there's a...

And does she cough after he says Craig David? But he says him, but he says A1 or Craig David... Cough. You know, it's like quite a... To me, it seemed like a long gap. So I'm like, I don't know. I wouldn't have... Huh?

Craig David. Oh, excuse me. Excuse me. Allergies. I've got the Craig Davids again. Haven't taken my caratine. Craig David. To me, it didn't seem that suss, but there are articles saying she was clearly pointing him

towards Craig David. And maybe it was, because after leaning towards A1 the whole time, he changed his mind to Craig David at the last second, saying he's normally wrong when he plays at home. About 80% of the time, I'm wrong. So I'm going with the one I don't think of. it is. Okay, so he's not trusting his gut, like he said. This is the sub-plan?

Yeah, yeah, I think that's sort of my Christian. What are we under the sub-strategy now or whatever? And so that's ended up being what he locked in, which was the correct answer, as Dave already said. Yes, we are. We're all the way through. We've done it. Thanks to your Swiss and your Northern Ireland.

He later said in court and elsewhere, he's like, he changed his mind because when he said, I think I'm going to lock in A-1. he heard the crowd gasp. He's like, all right, well, I don't think it's that, and that's why he changes it. That's what he says. Listening back, I don't know if it was that clear that there was a gasp, but it does sound like they really bumped up the sound of the coughs and maybe not anything else. Well, when I was watching The Millionaire Be Recorded, so what you do here in Australia?

Oh, you were the friend in the audience. I was a friend in the audience. Oh, that's sick. Which I'm sure I've told this story before. I think so. So anyway, so it was the night before I was out at the Comedy Festival After Party. So I was out till like 6 a.m. or something, and then you've got a best. there at 9 or something.

But my dad goes in way earlier to do a rehearsal, they talk you through. And then he calls me up and says, I'm through now. I had to say what you do for a job, so I said you're a comedian. And I said, and I was on the phone to say,

Dad, you can't say that. Eddie will ask me to tell the joke, and I just can't do that. Eddie would be a nightmare. Oh, you're a comedian. Yeah, I was like, seriously, to say that I'm a student. I'll say anything like that.

And I was like, oh, and then I can hear my dad being like, oh, okay, sorry. And I feel bad about this now. I'm just stressing him out. And he calls me back half an hour and goes, don't worry, I spoke to a producer, I filled out a form again. And I got my form back and I said,

you're a comedian. But then I wrote in brackets, please don't ask him to tell a joke. And I was like, that is a red, red to a bull dad. That is a red, oh my God. So I was in there all day, like freaking out, being like, what do I say?

He had a chance to just try to shoot it. He made it worse. I'm like, oh, dad. And then, you know. He's a comedian, but he's very shy. Yeah, but I don't want to like, again, stress him out because he's looking forward to his big shot. And when my dad, he's very good with general knowledge, we'd watch at home and he gets him all the questions right. So I'm like, I don't want to take away dad's big opportunity.

But then he gets up because in, so to explain. On the classic format, he would have killed it. Yeah, but so in the Australian format, which I did look up, does seem to be an Australian-centric thing. The hot seat, you have six people and the order is decided before you go up. and then you can pass and hope to come back around. So if someone gets it wrong, the top prize money drops down. You can pass once. Yeah.

But the next person can't pass. So if you're passed too, you've got to have a crack. You've got to have a crack. And my dad looked back and said, I don't think I can get back. So he got one question, right? And then Eddie said, oh, your son, David's in the crowd. Good day, David. And I gave us a wave.

And he goes, we'll have a chat to you in a second. And I was thinking, no, no, no, no. Dad gets this next question decides. He says, I don't know the answer to this, but I'm going to have a punt because I'm not going to be able to to get back. There's not enough questions and passes. He gets it wrong and I'm like being, I was like, I'm off the hook.

I'm like cheering, yeah. I didn't have to do my bad son. I know, so I feel bad. I didn't have to do my awkward joke. So sorry, Daddy, if you're listening to, I know sometimes you do listen. If he's listening to an episode, sure, it's going to be a new one. I know. But yeah, my dad's very. He's yelling at his iPod the whole way through all the small details.

But it's mostly, I'm disappointed in you, David. Sorry, sorry I cheer, but I was so. nervous to try and tell a joke on TV. And because you had to answer that question, tell us a joke. Is that classic a party? You're a comedian, are you? You're like, oh, well, okay, I've got a story, I've got a premise, you know, anyway. What do you want a knock, knock joke?

Depends on the person. Sometimes it's somebody I don't really like. And so, like, oh, you're here, but tell us a joke. And I say, oh, you can't afford me. That's fun. That would have been good. Yeah, sorry, I'm off the clock. You can't afford me. You're going to need more than a million dollars, Eddie. But the other thing I remember from happening that day is,

because they record six in a day. Wow. Big day. Wow. And if you go and support someone, you've got to go watch all of them. And they just move you around in the crowd to try and make the audience look a bit different.

And I was watching one episode. That's fuck. And the guy next to me was just whispering the answers to me. I didn't know him, but I'm like, this looks bad. Yeah. I remember one of the questions was, in Diehard, what is the name of Bruce Willis's character?

He was like, John McLean. I'm like, I don't know you. I don't know the answer. You don't have to tell me. I know that one. Also, I know the answer. So you're not super clever. but also it's going to look like you're giving away the answers.

Yeah, shut up. Do you have a photo or would you be able to get a screenshot of you in the audience? Oh, maybe because I feel like that would be so good to post on the on Instagram order. At the time, I think people were watching at home like on fact, because you know what it is months later. Yeah. Maybe take me, like took a photo of the screen and tag me on Facebook. So maybe. That'd be great if you get that.

That's so cool. Yeah, you probably have told that story. It's ringing some bells, but I've forgotten about it. Yeah. But it is the story of me being the one. worst son being like, I'm off the hook, yeah. Thank God. But Dad didn't win. Thank God, Dad lost.

I love it. I remember one time, like, Eddie, you know, he's like, he's a sports journalist, but I think he writes himself as a bit of a funny guy as well. He's done a lot of radio and all that sort of stuff. But he's also, like, but he's not funny and he's usually kind of mean. Right. You know, like, he's usually, like, he's a bit snarky and it's like, ugh. So, what are we up to here? So he changes his answer at the last minute to,

Craig David, he gets it right. He says it's because of a gasp. Others say it's because of a cough from Diana. They also say that she sort of looks up at the monitor and the live feed is doing a live cut, a live switch. So it was almost like she was looking up to see when she wasn't on screen, naively thinking that meant she wasn't being recorded. And that's when she coughed.

But there was obviously a camera on her and they had that. That's what they argue. She's like, I wasn't looking at that at all. I was trying to look up to see his face because she was in the crowd behind. You're always behind him, so you can't see their face. She's like, no, I was just trying to look at his, I kept looking at the monitor to see his face. Also, I mean, because I love him, and I'm actually a big fan of his face. Yeah, and I'm a big quizer, and I'm stressing out for my partner, who I love.

Who I love, and I love looking at his little face. Also, if there is a camera on you and there's a chance that you could be on TV at any moment, You probably are thinking about that quite a bit. Because you really need to pick your nose. Or you wouldn't do something like a cough. Yeah, that's true. Oh, I'm on now. Cough.

Yeah, that makes sense as well. Yeah, it just makes you that little bit more self-conscious that, oh, I could be, especially at the time, tens of millions of people. And you know that feeling of needing to cough? Yeah. Like, you know, there'll be a shoot on downstairs here at different times. And I'm going, oh, this is a good take.

And I'm holding a boom or something going, Oh, no. Please don't do it. Jess is killing it and it's infomercial or whatever we're filming. I always knew I'd done a good take if I could, because you can't see

through the lights and so. I couldn't see details of your face but I could see if you threw a shuckers. I was like, we got it. I don't throw out a shuckers lightly. Directors throw it up a shuckers. We are done for the day. Woo!

I also learnt to read different ways Evan says okay. Yeah. There's a certain okay that I'm like, Yeah, we got it. Evan's definitely very readable. Yeah. But the shark is, I was like, we've done it.

We're painting a pretty glamorous picture. I'm directing, holding the boom. Yeah, it's a pretty big production. Jess is here. It's a big production. So we're on to the 64,000 pound question. Like his brother-in-law and his wife, he's up to the free hit question, basically.

It's a sports question. And this is it. I didn't know it. I'd be interested to see if either of you. know, gentlemen versus players was an annual match between amateurs and professionals of which sport. Lawn tennis, so specific, rugby union, polo or cricket. Gentlemen versus players.

Yeah, they're all kind of, you know, posh, gentlemanly kind of games. So, lawn tennis, rugby union, polo or cricket. I reckon Gaddy J from the UK might be yelling his iPod for this one. I would have guessed cricket because the difference, I think I would guess a team game because tennis, like a professional would just wipe the court with an action. That's true, yes. Absolutely destroy them.

Yeah. And I wasn't, I'm thinking it's not going to be rugby union because as a non-professional, do you want to go up against the pros? You probably could get injured. You'll die. Polo? Polo. I was thinking polo or cricket, but I reckon it's cricket.

It feels like a real fine line between the amateurs and professionals in polo. So few people would play it. They're all rich people already. They're all in the same circles. But with cricket, I feel like, and there is like the different levels. Like is it county players versus the clubs below that or is it like, you know, first class? Yeah. Yeah, I'd say cricket.

You also told us Gary Jay would be. Yeah, that helps a little bit too. That was a bit of a clue, sorry. Cricket is the correct name. This is out when he says something like, it could be any of them, but I think it's cricket. That's what he said straight off the bat, which got a little cough.

He said, might be cricket right off the bat, the cricket bat. So that got a little cough. Little cough. He then went through all of them again. And when he said cricket again, there was another cough,

and then he locked it in, which was correct. So that was, like that seems... Yeah. That seems pretty... It's the most obvious one. So far. Yeah.

It gets more obvious, but that is... Because I think... I think again, whenever he's sort of, it's almost like these ones, if it is happening, it's them confirming what he already knows. Yeah. So, but later it seems like it comes across as maybe being dodgier. Okay.

So he locks in cricket, as you two did. So you're now onto the 125,000 pound question. Honestly, at this point, it's too much. Oh, my good. Do we have to go out for dinner? We've bought shares of the restaurant. Yeah. And people do say, you know, if he pulled out at one of these levels,

Probably would never have cotton onto him. Even up to maybe the half a million. But anyway, so 125,000 pound question. The Ambassadors in the National Gallery is a painting by which artist? The Ambassadors in the National Gallery. So the painting's called the Ambassadors and it's housed in National Gallery. Yeah, it was needed that one right down. So Van Ike, Holbein, Michael Angelo or Rembrandt.

I think Rembrandt was the I think maybe the guy who sang the theme for friends Yes Him and his brother Yeah Great duo So that's a joke answer So I'd rule that one out

It's good that even at the higher level They do a joke one I would The British have a great sense of humour I would be thinking Not Rembrandt or Michelangelo Right because they're sort of the bigger names and maybe you'd...

I was also just thinking they're like, they're way older and how long have we had ambassadors for? Like, is this just some dudes? Is that the painting? What's the painting? What was option B? Holbein. H-O-L-B-E-I-N.

Holbein, Holbein, Holbein. Holbein, I think. I'm going to guess Van Eyke. Is it Van Eyck? Is that A? A is Van Ike, yep. Dave, do you want to overrule here? Dave? Or not overrule.

Do you want to throw anything into the hat? But overall, make a different choice? So it's called the ambassadors. Yeah, it's called the ambassadors. Right. I think if we were playing like this and I was Chris Tarant, they would have been a scandal as well. Are you sure?

Are you sure about that? Do you sure you don't want to change your answer? Chris Tarant and the host, they don't see the answers until something's locked in. He doesn't know either. So people trying to read the face, unless Chris Tarrin already knows the answer. Because sometimes there is a tell on him as well.

And I think maybe the major even said there was, maybe he was trying to read him, and I don't know if he could. So the hosts don't know if that's true or not. No, they don't know until an answer's locked in. Otherwise, I guess they're worried that they'd give up subtle tell as well. Once it's locked in, that's how they sort of do the dramatic. Yes, we'll come back after the break. They go, okay.

Yeah. Which he did on two different stages in this episode. You couldn't decide between A and B. You've locked in B. It is one of A and B. We'll find out which one after the break. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the major, it was like, tell me you're not going to a break.

Don't go to a break. We're going to a break. No, not a break. So. I think I would say I'd rule out Michelangelo because there's not many. Michelangelo's. Yes. Not many have survived.

Rembrandt. There's a few Rembrands. Yeah, it's quite. I think there's a few hundred of those out there. But I don't know Holbein's work. The National Gallery. Well, the Major didn't know Craig David's work. That's true.

Didn't stop him locking it in. I'm trying to read, Matt. I'm trying to see if he has a tell. Now, let me just say, is it, hmm, A, Van I. Like, B. I don't know. I actually, I was leaning towards Holbein. Yeah.

Because I don't know. And also I was thinking, their National Gallery, do they have lots of national work? Where is Holbein from? So he seemed to go straight for Holbein. He said, I've seen this. I've been there.

I've seen this painting. I think it's Holbein. But there seemed to be coughs. It could be interpreted as confirmed the answer again. I think these ones again, not that straightforward, and he did go straight for Holdbine. It took a while, but he eventually locked it in, moved on to the 250,000 pound question.

So there was no coughs. There were coughs that people argued were locking it in. I can't even remember this one. But I feel like this one wasn't super suss. Like if they were all like this, I don't think, again, I don't think there'd be a scandal, probably. He's a German painter, so my theory had nothing. Well, they, you know, very closely related the Germans and the English.

So we're up to the quarter of a million pound question. Oh, my God, that's half a million of our dollars. Surely we're just splitting it at that point and like buying houses, you know? Like, nah. Big dinner. Double the caviar rations. Dave, we can just go out for dinner. If that's what you really want, we can just go.

I'd love to. Imagine how many bottles of bourgeoisie. So what type of garment is an Anthony Eden? Fashion. I know both of you are, well Dave especially isn't in the fashion. Just to the lesser extent. I mean, you know fashion. Oh, I know fashion. And Anthony Eden. An Anthony Eden. Is it who I believe was a prime minister of the UK at some point? It's going to be a hat. Is it an overcoat, hat, shoe or tie?

It's going to be a hat. I immediately thought shoe. Okay. but hat hat all right locking in hat you are correct you have just won

250,000 pounds when there's nothing at stake it's so easy yeah yeah like you're probably not gambling because all of these you're risking to go back to 32,000 yeah so he again zeroed straight into hat then there were some cough seemingly confirming that

sorry just go honestly just let him go he would have been fine yeah no it does feel like stop stop making it look suss. He, so he locked it in, went on to the half a million pound question, saying,

he landed in Chris Tarran and said, I'm possessed, which was weird, but anyway, that is such a weird comment. He said, I think it was hat. And then,

he's like, yeah, I think it was the hat he wore, that sort of high hat. So he did seem to know that one. And I reckon if he quit here, I really think, he would have won a quarter of a million and we would not be talking about him.

Yeah. He wouldn't be, you know, well known. He just would have lived a more comfortable, a much better life. I'll say that because I'll talk about it soon. But yeah, this doesn't turn out well for him. So the half a million pound question, Baron Hausman is best known for his planning of which city. Feels like Dave might be a chance on this.

Baron Hausman. I would have had no idea. Is it house city? I said this for every question. Dave might have an idea of it. I just believe he knows everything. And it's coming across really sexist. Jess, tiny brain, has no idea.

Well, what you've got to understand is. No, it's not that you're an idiot. It's the Dave in my head. Like anyone else in the room, I just assume Dave knows everything. Which is a lot of pressure to put on you, Dave. And also, my German heritage, barren, houseman. It's often proven true, though. Like, it's, you know, you know that Dave.

Dave does know a lot. Yeah, I... And I know a lot about oddly specific things. Like the Anthony Eden that Jess just just caught. Yeah, I would not have got that. I really don't think... Beyond Aristotle Onassis, I don't think I would have got any of these right.

Even the Craig David, the Dave New Australia, I'm like, I remember that album being a big hit. And I should remember... I remember more the follow-up hit on the next... Well, it was lesser hit was, What's Your Flavour? And I thought it was... Tell me what's...

...so funny that that was... And that was sort of the beginning of the end for Craig David. I think he's still massive over there. Oh, right, there you go. And he's still... The beginning of the end. And he's only like about 40 now. Yeah.

He was so young. Yeah. I just think about how much time every day must spend manicuring that beard. Yeah. It's a pencil mustache that becomes a pencil sideburns and a pencil goatee. It's a lot of pencil. But have you seen his rig? Unbelievable.

Big rig? Really? He's just spent, thinking about the time he spent... on that rig as well. Oh, that's true. I mean, maybe a little bit more time on the lyrics. What's your flavour? Just saying the days of the week?

So the half a million pound question. Baron Hausman. Is it Rome, Paris, Berlin, Athens? He's straight away going, I think it's Berlin. There's a bit of a gas from the crowd. And then he says a little less convincingly, I think. I think it's Berlin. and then he continues to go through it.

I think it's Berlin. Houseman sounds like more of a German name. So that's why I'm thinking Berlin. No cough so far. Okay, so it's Rome, Berlin. Rome, Berlin, Paris, Athens. They're all such old cities. Yeah.

He says something like, I just think it, Hausmann, it sounds more German than it sounds Italian or Parisian or Athens. I said it like he... Which way I thought was funny. They're all Athens. They're all... Athens. What I would base it on, my guess, would be the fact that there's four cities, all ancient, all thousands of years old.

But Berlin, after World War II, absolutely destroyed. Maybe they had a chance to rebuild it. So they brought in a guy to do a bit of planning. Gotcha. That would be my guess. Wow, yeah, that's a great point. It's a really good point. It turns out that some of these other cities have had overhauls as well.

No. So it sounds like you're going to take the money here, which it's a good win. I'd take the money. I'd take the money in a thousand. Although, no, you didn't use one of his lifelines. You've still got the phone of friends. So you could probably call someone. I'd be calling Baron Houseman.

I'll call my good friend Barron House. You've got to think this is a wild coincidence, but I got Baron on the line. Baz. What's up? Now, tell me again. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I do love your work.

This is embarrassing because we've talked about this at length. But you know we were a few bottles in. Was it? So he goes straight for Berlin. There's no cough. Then he repeats, I think it's Berlin. There is a cough that when you hear it, it sounds a lot like someone saying,

No. No. Yes. No. No. Never. Luton, Berlin. It's not Berlin.

It's not Berlin. Read out the other answers and I'll cough after the correct one. So the argument here is he's gone off the plan. He's meant to read him out. He's just gone, I think it's Berlin. So if this is the case, he's left him Wittock with no choice but to... Say no. Say no.

How are people sitting around them not going, this is blatant? What the fuck? Well, that's the interesting thing. I mention it later, but Chris Tarrant says he never... never noticed any coughing. He didn't notice that. He doesn't have an earpiece in, but the rest of the production crew are starting to go, something's weird going on here. And they're talking about on this link through all their headsets. He's got good all of a sudden. He's playing really strange. It seems a bit suss. But Taryn doesn't have that in his ear, so he's never suss on it.

So the defence says they're in a closed loop. They're all confirming this bias that they've come up with. So now every cough seems suss. Yes, of course. Whereas Taryn's not noticing that. And he's not in that conversation. He's also focusing on, you know, hosting a show. But if you're sitting right next to someone who just coughed no. Yeah, you'd think you'd... You'd be like, Dave, going, this looks odd. On the tape, it really sounds like they've amplified it.

And the no, is that coming from the audience like Diana? Is it coming from the guy? No, from the pit again, from the fastest finger pit. Right. Surely the other contestants are going, fuck off. Well, some of the other contestants, after the fact, definitely say, We're a suss on it and we knew what he was up to. Yeah, okay.

But it's hard to know. Yeah. It feels like you've all seen the story play out in the media. Yeah. I knew as soon as I saw him, it was evil. Yeah, yeah. It feels a bit like that. That's why I'm still so torn.

It feels like these sort of things, you go, well, that's pretty obvious, but. But it's not. Yeah. But, I mean, arguments are made that people, you know, like Dave, you're saying, people just whisper, I know the answer. Yeah. Or you're, you know, you know. you're not mean to be like, no, you know, you're so invested in it from, you're sitting watching, you're, no, that's not right, but you've accidentally said it too loud.

They've boosted it in the mic. It's possible. Okay, so how does he react to it, though? So, um... He turns to the pit, gives a thumbs up. No worries. Roger that. Actually, Chris, I'm going to start thinking about this from the top.

But I've actually ruled out Berlin. He sticks with Berlin. I think it's Berlin, but he starts now working his way through the options. He says, I don't think it's Paris. Then there's a cough. Straight away there. Then he goes through the others. I don't think it's Athens.

And I'm sure it's not Rome. By this time, he gets to the end of the sentence. He says, I thought it was Berlin, but there's a chance it's Paris. Then a long pause. I think it's Berlin. Then another pause. I think it's Paris. Cough.

He then thinks on it a bit more. says, it's either Berlin or Paris. I think it's Paris, cough. Yep, I'm going to say it's Paris. Let's lock in Paris. All right. Which is correct. So that, now you're starting to go, well, when you play that together, it's hard to go.

Yeah. So then he moves on to the million pound question. I think you two took the money and ran, right? Yeah, and look, we're going to have a beautiful dinner. Yeah. But let's play it out, you know, just to see. see, just for fun. The rest was for cash. Now it's just for fun. Let's pretend. Let's pretend.

So the final question, you're ready, Dave. I feel like you'll know this. I'd be surprised if you knew this. I did not know Baron Hausman. I reckon if anyone knows this, it's probably because it became famous from this moment, maybe.

The question is, or you're a mathematician or whatever. I'm a mathematician. Or a computer person, which he is, he's a qualified engineer. and he goes on to fix laptop computers when he loses his job in the army. Oh! Yeah, I'm sorry.

So the question is, a number one followed by 100 zeros is known by what name? Oh, that's a Google. That is correct. Isn't that where Google comes from? Yeah. I did not know that. So is Google, Megatron, Gigabit or Nanomol?

That would have been my guess because I wouldn't have. known exactly how many zeros, but I know that Google is like, you know, it comes from a very, very big number. I didn't know that. I need that from a chart in our grade four classroom. It had all the numbers saying one, 1,000, all the way down. And then we were always fascinated because it went for so long and it just said one Google and that it's had 100 zero.

Wow. That's so funny. I'm like, well, you won't know this one. I didn't, so no one will. Although I haven't known any of them. And you've known nearly all of them. And also at the time, Google's only a few years old. I've definitely locked in my two phone of friends based on this.

If anything, if I don't know the answer, I'll at least give you a nice little pep talk. Yeah, hey. I'll say over the phone, I'll say, Matt, you look at me. Matt, look at me. Imagine me, look at me. So that is correct. And yeah, I wonder if it was put on posters because it's, no, I don't. So he says, I think it's an nanomole, but it could be a gig a bit.

I don't think it's a megatron and I don't think I've heard of a Google. As he says Google, there's a cough from the audience and he says, by the process of elimination, I actually think it is Google. But I don't know what a Google is. I don't think it's a gigabit

and I don't think it's an animal and I don't think it's a megatron. I really do think it's a Google cough. He then says, he's ruled out the other three and he doesn't know what a Google is. but it's his only chance of winning a million. He goes through them again and gets another cough on Google. He then locks it in and wins the million pounds.

And is it like a big, big moment? Does they have the confession? Yes, all that stuff happens. Chris Terrence, like, you've been the most remarkable contestant we've ever had. You know, your strategies have been baffling, but, you know, it worked. He's gotten through all of those, the whole second day without a lifeline. He's still got a lifeline, doesn't he? Or does he have nothing?

No, use the 50-50. On, I can't remember. Coronation Street? No, that one was the day before. That was phone of friend. The phone of friend. No, they asked the audience. Yeah, ask the audience, yeah.

But he used the 50-50 somewhere. Cities were the option. No, September. Oh, no, it was on the Craig David. Cold plan, top loader were taken out. Oh, okay, yes. That's right. September's, I just yelled.

Was it September's? Couldn't think of the month. I couldn't think of the word month. It was the September's. So he definitely would have used it otherwise, I think. Yeah. And so those last two are the ones that really seem pretty suss. Yeah, definitely.

He's changed his answer. All the other ones were sort of more confirmation. And just the number of coughs involved. And the phrase, I don't even know what that is. Yeah. Cough, actually. He also said he'd never heard of Craig David before locking in Craig David. But he said that one made some sense if he heard a gasp when he said he was going to lock in A1.

There was only one other option. People were gasping, he hasn't heard of a Google. He's also said since that, you know, everything he said wasn't necessarily true. he knew that he had this idea that being more interesting and dramatic meant that he thought the questions would become easy because they'd wanted to keep you on longer in these sort of things. He had these weird ideas that he'd heard from the quizzes. So he's sort of saying, I wasn't necessarily telling the truth. I was just trying to keep it entertaining. But yeah, those last two, pretty hard to swallow. So the confetti comes down, he's given the check,

heads to the hotel with Diana. But the production team... They had sex on that cash. They had sex on the check. Wouldn't you? Yes. I'd want to come on that check. We can't accept this check. It's sticky and blurry.

Worth it. Apparently, so those checks at Chris Terrance handing, they are, they're cashable checks. So, you know, every time he gives one and rips it up when they move on, that's actually the check you can take. Oh, my God. But the production team had become suspicious during his run on his run to the, on his run to the million.

And when Lee Ma, writing for the New Zealand Herald, reported that the producers were immediately on edge. Charles Ingram had behaved very strangely flip-flopping on the answers, particularly those last two and the Craig David one. You know, he said he didn't even know who Craig David was, and he picked it as the answer anyway. I think he sort of explained that one a way, pretty like in a way that I'd accept.

but suspicions were raised and the prize money was withheld. They put a stop on the check and the police were called in. He got a phone call the next day, I think, on September 11th and it was like, hey, from one of the bosses of the production company said, with notice of some irregularities

were putting a stop on the check and apparently reacted in a slightly strange way. He's like, oh, well, I'd certainly deny that. He didn't ask, I mean, and again, I might be blue, blurring the dramatization with the reality. But I think I read that this is sort of our responded anyway. He didn't say what irregularities? Yeah, what are you talking about?

No one was coughing. Sorry, quiet. We didn't have a complicated cough code. I love that in movies. We never said anything about coughing. Yeah, yeah, gotcha. Yeah. There was a moment like that in Scream 4, which I watched the other night.

Wow. I never said I was injured in that shoulder or whatever. But anyway, I never said I was going around. Murdering people wearing a funny mask. So this is still from, I love this sort of writing by Wenlai Ma. The trivia show Rating Sensation had a cheating scandal on its hands. Oh man, that's dramatic stuff. The producers had isolated 19 coughs in the studio.

They had in hands. Enhance. While listening to the answers aloud, 19 coughs that coincided with the correct answers. Hence, the coughing major moniker. given to Ingram, even though he himself was not the source of the coughs. So that's what he became known as in the British press. Coughing major. But he hadn't coughed once.

He never coughed. Oh, the press. The lamestream media at it again. The bloody press. What are they like? Yeah, so, and all this tape. So who had the most to gain from stopping this check? The production company, was their money that they were putting out there.

I think it was a 50-50 split who put up the prize money between ITV and the production company. So they've got this tape. The tape ended up going to court was version 6 was what it was called. And they're like, that was what they handed into police nearly a year later. So it'd been manipulated. This is what the defence is saying. This is a tape that have enhanced these certain coughs. There were many other coughs that they didn't enhance.

It were sometimes on wrong answers or just irrelevant times. but it was splashed across the British tabloid press and Ingram and his wife Diana and Welsh professor Tequan Widok who was sitting in the fastest finger pit in the studio will put on trial for fraud the day after the taping

was the September 11 attacks so that obviously overshadowed the coughing scandal and that's why maybe we aren't as aware of it I'm not sure maybe it's just a long time ago maybe it was in the papers here at the time as well It takes until 2003 for the case to go to trial. Journalist John Ronson was there. He's quite a famous journalist and author.

Oh, yeah. I mean, he's Derek Goat's guy. Yeah, that's right. And so you've been publicly shamed, I think, was him as well. The psychopath test. By the way, that's our John for the Block. Yes! Well done, everybody. So I think we got a John in each time.

The theme for Block 2021 was John. Call in when you hear the secret word, John. So our man, John, wrote an article for The Guardian at the time. Turns out he was, he didn't realize he was interested in the case. And then his mum goes, you know, you went to school with Diana. And he had no recollection of it. But he's like, oh, I'm sort of connected to it.

So he went in and he went in for every day of the trial. Wow. And he wrote an article for the Guardian at the time. And I'll quote a bit of it now. It says Thursday afternoon, March the 20th, 2003 is when it all goes wrong for Charles Ingram. He's been cross. examined by prosecuting barrister Nicholas Hilliard about particular coughs 12 to 14. So they've numbered the coughs.

He says, Those of us who've attended this long, slow trial from the beginning know the coughs so well. We can mouth them. The tape of Charles' appearance on Millionaire has been played nearly a dozen times. During Charles' tenure in the hot seat, 192 coughs rang out in the audience. 173 were, experts agree, innocent clearings of throats, etc. 192 coughs, wow.

Yeah, it's funny, because in this trial, I can't remember if I mention it here, but the more coughs are talked about in the courtroom, more people are coughing. At one point, the judge has to clear the courtroom because there's so much coughing. Wow. And it seems like it's just like that yawning thing, where you're talking about, all of a sudden you're aware of it, you're like, you know, you're feeling that thing and that itching. Yeah.

And I've definitely noticed you coughing more today, Dave, and I wonder if that's part of that. Coincidence? God, Dave. or more. But, you know, you go, well, that's a lot of coughs. Only, what, 10% of them are the ones you're saying, there's a chance that it's a weird coincidence. Yeah, with that many coughs, yeah.

Wow. But the, John goes on. Perhaps the most devastating of all is particular cough number 12. It arose during Chris Terrance 500,000-pound question. Baron Hausman is best known for his planning of which city, Rome, Paris, Berlin, Athens. Like I mentioned before, after it sounds like Charles is going to pump for Berlin, without reading all the answers aloud, we hear cough number 12. That's the one that sounded more like, no.

That's cough number 12. And then after a few more coughs, he changes mine to Paris. So back to John Ronson. He says, the first time this no cough was played in court, every journalist and member of the public burst out laughing. Judge Rivlin threatened to clear the court. It just was so ridiculous I can't wait to hear it

That is so damning isn't it Yeah everyone laughs at it So I think that's like the narrative in the press Even to this point And then afterwards is What a bumbling effort to try and do this It's so ridiculous It was never going to work

This guy's such a dofus You know there's no way He would have won a million dollars Without this ridiculous scheme So then Nicholas Hilliard Asked why he changed his mind and opted for Paris. You could, it sounds almost like he's gone back and researched the answer and then he,

this is what he says in court, that Charles says. I knew that Paris was a planned city. The centre of Paris was cleared of slums during the 19th century and it was rebuilt into districts and boulevards. Prominent in my mind was the economic reason. In the middle of the 19th century, France was coming out of the revolutionary period. And it was decided, I think by Napoleon III. Oh my God.

That he would concentrate on Paris and thereby the remainder of France would find, You've gone too far. You've gone too far. Yeah, it feels like you've overdone the lie there. Or that's just, you know, maybe just knew all that. And that's what he was thinking of his head, but he made it seem more interesting by saying, I think it's Berlin. I think it's Berlin. It's a German-sounding name.

As written in the history of Paris by... Yeah, he's not too far. As the Oxford Dictionary. And then, as John Swanson says, Charles then looks hopefully at the jury. Like, huh? Yeah. I knew about Paris. But then.

Hillard sighed saying, but at the time, you said you thought it was Berlin because he had a German-sounding name. And there's a silence. And a cough. Oh, Mr. Ingram, says Hilliard. Surely you can help us a little bit better than that. Apparently, this Hilliard guy's a brutal but brilliant lawyer. Really? And he's just shredding it.

Just destroying. He's like, come on. Just sort of patronising and then just like, you can just sort of picture him looking to the gallery and getting a little flatly just like winking at him and stuff. Surely you wouldn't think that we'd believe that. John Ronson was later in the hallway in between sessions and another lawyer came past, and he said something like, oh, that Hilliard, he absolutely shredded me in a murder trial recently.

He's like, he's like infamous. So Judge Rivlin then calls for a break and they all file out in the corridor. Charles looks shaken. He lights a cigarillo, his face beatroot, and a picture of self-loathing. Nobody notices that he's wearing a Mensa badge. He put it on as a special touch,

but it's so tiny, just a little M on his lapel, that the jury can't spot it. So Charles did wear a Mensa badge through the trial, perhaps to combat the media coverage, which portrayed him as a bumbling fool. He sat the test a few months before the trial in early 2003. He passed, meaning his IQ is in the top 2%. So he's like, he's a really smart guy.

But, you know, trivia is about knowledge, not intelligence. That's right. But he's just sort of going, look, you're all portraying me as a doofus. But I'm actually really smart. I'm smarter than 98% of the people in this room. And there's 100 years. So who's the other one? Let me show us your badges.

Back to Ronson. Hilliard has got me all tied in knots, he says. I just don't want to say anything stupid. So that's what he's... It sounds like he's the other man. Yeah. I do an upbeat smile, even though I believe that only a miracle can save them now. How does it feel to have to keep watching that tape, I ask?

I imagine it must be embarrassing. From the tape, they look quite extraordinarily guilty, albeit in a sweet and funny way. It seems such a slapstick type of crime. A half-baked plot executed badly. Charles replies, I still get a thrill when it gets to the part where I win the million. He's like, he's like, because he's saying, I did it. Yeah. It's like I achieve this cool thing.

But everyone else is watching and going, oh no. Silly old coughing major. Ronson continues. Chris Tarant may not be the world's greatest superstar, but within the context of this grubby building, we've come to call home, the wallpaper peeling, the soap and the toilets as hard as a rock,

the evidence dragging on and on. Here's like a vision of paradise entering court for. Everyone is smitten. This Hollywood star is coming. Is Chris Tarant? But backhand a compliment, he may not be the greatest superstar. Yeah, I know, it's so funny. Has anyone ever got the first question wrong?

Ask one defense barrister of Tarrant. It's happened in America, replies Tarrant, to huge laughter around the court. Tarrant looks surprised. He was just giving a factual response. And I was out of America. During all the-Tpical. Yeah. So funny.

They also had a guy that got the million without needing a lifeline, you know? Yeah. It's like, oh, America. obviously. So stupid. They never should have got independence from us. And I think that proves it. That's sort of what that laughs.

It sounds like to me. One person goes out of the wrong. Loll. God, we're good. So during all the merriment, the fact that Tarrant heard no coughing, he said all this in court. He suspected no foul play

and even said to the show's producers, don't be stupid when he was told of their suspicions. All that seemed to get lost in the case. So he said all that. He said that in court. I like that he's like stuck to his... No, I didn't hear anything. Yeah, that's right.

Because, you know, he would have also been swept up in it. And probably the producer and everything, the production company, probably like, you know, it's us versus him. Yeah. Pick aside. He's like, no, I'm just going to say how I thought. Yeah, which is, obviously what you meant to do in court, but it would be easy to get, you know, I've seen the evidence now, which he has.

As later said, he's like, he now has no doubt that they were guilty. And he's sort of like doesn't like the dramatization of it because it's got a lot of shades of grain. He's like, it's kind of ridiculous to betray it like they weren't definitely guilty. He's like, they were definitely guilty. Right. And in one breakfast interview, he didn't say this in court. He just said what he believed at the time, which is, you know, admirable, right?

But on a breakfast show recently, he said, when I, when I said, when I said, when I said, said, if you get this wrong, you lose, you go all the way back, you lose like $400 and whatever thousand dollars. And he's like, I only realized months later, but he's like, yeah, let's just go for it. Normally they're putting their heads in their hands and going, oh, my God, this is stressful. But I watched it back. The first time he said it, he, Charles Ingram literally puts his hands over his face and goes, oh. That's so funny.

I should cut the two together. Chris Tang, going, that's how I knew that he was definitely. Yeah. Because when he said it again, he didn't. But the first time he said it, he definitely put his hands over his face, literally like what Chris Tarrant said people normally do. And also it's funny to be like, this is how people normally behave. But not everyone behaves the same in stressful situations, you know?

So it's kind of ridiculous. Some people are weirdly calm. Yeah, that's right. So I don't think that's enough to. I think the coughs happening at these certain times, that's your best reason to believe it. So a big part of the defence was that there were a lot more coughs, like I said, during the taping. Like 90% of them weren't seemed to be suss.

On top of this, the man who was supposedly doing these cough, Tequen Wittock, has a chronic cough. It's been a thing he's had his whole life. Ah. As Ronson writes, Tequan has suffered from a persistent cough his entire life. Water helps. He carries some everywhere. And fruit juice and inhalers and cough medicine. It's a ticklish cough.

like a frog in his throat, very flammy. A stream of doctors and friends take the stand, attesting to Tequins' irritating cough. It is so annoying, Judge. We go to the movies, he's coughing everywhere. It'll be a nightmare, like, in this current climate, you know? Yes. COVID and stuff. And it's like hay fever season here, so every time I'm sneezing, I'm like, it's just allergies.

The writer of the quiz, the mini-series, he's like, my timing is awful. They debuted in England in 2020. He's like, are people going to want to watch a show all about coughing in the middle of this pandemic? But it turns out they did. It was a big hit. Anyway, Ronson goes on. Tekwin, Widox Barrister, David Aubrey sums up by saying, so when was this plan supposedly hatched during a late-night phone call on September 9,

lasting less than five minutes? Is it really likely that Mr. Wittock would take part in such a hate? acely conceived scheme, wouldn't he have said, you can't count on me? I'm liable to cough at any time. This isn't, hmm. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm like, that is a good point. If the host, if Chris isn't, the host is Chris? Did I make that? At the moment when I was like, I made that up. If he can't hear anything, he's not hearing these coughs at all, maybe, is it possible that Charles actually couldn't hear? Yeah, I think, well, that's what he, Charles also said in court, he's like, I never heard the coughs. I was focused. I didn't hear the coughs.

Yep. And if you didn't have a system in place, you wouldn't. But if you did have a system, he'd be listening out from when Chris Tarant wouldn't be. You know what I mean? So there's definitely you can understand that on both ways. It's a really good point from that lawyer being like, yeah, why would I, okay, so this thing I do involuntarily, we're going to base the entire code system on coughing. Yeah. Which I'm going to do a lot anyway. That's a bad idea. Yeah. And then also, they didn't know Widoch was going to be on the next show until it was read out that night, like the night before. So it couldn't have been planned in advance more than that five-minute phone call. Yeah.

The prosecution didn't even argue that they'd never met. So it's like, in the miniseries when the Ingrams and Wittock sit together in court, Wittock goes, nice to meet you. It's like, nice to meet you co-defendants of this crime. And that wasn't even argued. So it was, supposedly, it had to be, unless they were going, hey, if we ever happened to be in the same room at the same time, let's do this coughing thing. Yeah.

So that makes you think, maybe, and, you know, weird coincidences happen. They film a lot of shows. One time this guy just bumbles his way to a million and there were coughs. Who knows? Because the defence also played the first millionaire winner and they showed that she had coughs throughout hers and they didn't seem to be suss, but a similar amount of coughs

and on a similar amount of correct answers. Oh, wow, really? Yeah, so, but it's because he was a bit of an... Yeah. You know, had a different energy or whatever. Seemed a bit more suss. Didn't do so well on the first night that they were more suss on him.

So there's all these things that give you little elements of doubt. And yeah, I reckon that coughing one that he coughs all the time. That's a pretty big one. Another interesting fact is that Wittock has a long history of going on quiz shows. He loves it. He's a quiverer. I was trying to figure out why I'm doing that accent.

I think it's because you're a wizard, Harry. You're a quiverer. You're a quizzor, Harry. It just naturally is how I'm saying quiverer. But that's probably why. Anyway, so he's got a long history going on these shows, but he's never been very successful. He went on a millionaire. He got the fastest finger first and went away with a thousand pounds.

So he's this genius who's meant to be getting all these. these questions right or at least that's where their system was based around this guy but he's never really done that well in quizzes the prosecution did say a couple of times he lent over to another fastest finger first guy do you know this one apparently that and apparently the mics picked that up but i haven't heard that but apparently on a couple of questions he's like do you know this one and so if that's true that's obviously adds to the sussex but that's also something that people in the audience are doing anyways so he possibly was just like like he was playing it home. Yeah, but he goes, do you know this one? Paris, thanks.

Paris! No. It's Paris! This guy says Paris. It's real smart. Someone bring a dog in here? Good boy. So, but how is he going on the show again if he's already been on it? Which, uh, Wittock. Yeah. Well, he's sitting in the pit, so he gets through after. So once the millionaire thing happens, that, That's not at the end of the episode. So they bring on the next contestant, which I think was witter.

And he went on only one a thousand pounds. Yes. Imagine that being like, I just coach this guy to a million and I'm out on. Fuck. You'd hope he's getting a decent cut of the mill. Yeah, just to me, it's sort of like, well, all these things, because this has to be beyond reasonable doubt in court as well. Yeah.

And all these things have just feel like enough doubt to me, maybe. Although I've got to put my hand up here and say, don't know the British court system that well. I did study Australian legal studies. in VCE. Okay. But not sure about the British system. Okay.

Is ours based on that system? Maybe it is. A disappointment. That's what I'll say. So along with the fact that host Chris Tarrant said he didn't know any of the coughing, I didn't notice any of the coughing, that there was a lot more coughing than those 19 coughs. All these things make me think, yeah, there's enough reasonable doubt there that I don't think I'd be able to.

But if you've said, seen it all play out in the media. It's hard to put that. And those tapes of him changing his mind. It's hard to go past that, but I just feel like maybe there's enough doubt. But apparently not, following a four-week trial at Southwark, Southwark, well, I should, Southwark, I reckon that is, Crown Court. The jury found that Charles, Diana and Tequin were guilty after a three-and-a-half-day deliberation.

The Ingrams were sentenced to 18 months in prison, and Whitock to 12. 12 months, all suspended for two years, so no actual jail time was served, but they're all landed with hefty fines as well. So they ended up, you know, losing quite a lot of. But they could pay that out of their million dollar winning. Yeah, they said about the winnings, obviously. They're like, you got us, but you know, good scheme. You got to pay that. So I think the prosecution said that Wittock's reason to do it, his motive was that his daughter's school fees were quite expensive. That was his reason to do it.

But he was like, oh man, just reading what he was saying, he was real sweet. He was like, I just was hoping to buy a new bed for my dog. And my son was a big fan of only fools and horses or some English show. And he wanted to get a car like they drive. So I was hoping to get that car and the... And a bed for the dog. Why do you start with a bed for a dog, which aren't...

They're not expensive. And then a car. Like, the car's the big purchase. Well, look, maybe I'm recounting it. in the wrong order. But yeah, they all just come across as real sweet.

But is he admitting that it was a plot then? No, no, he's saying that's why he went on the show. Went on the show, not why they did it. That was what he was hoping. Gotcha.

His best result was to get something for his kid and his dog. Like, oh, my heart is freaking breaking. Oh, no. We're talking. Imagine you didn't do it. You just, I've just got a cough,

which has haunted me my whole life. And now it's got me a guilty in a court of law. Something I didn't do. If you didn't do it, man, what a night. there. Later in 2003, the Army Board ordered Ingram to resign after 16 years of service. And in some ways, this was only the beginning of the Ingram's pain.

According to Paul Stanworth, writing for the BBC, a few months after the ITV court case, Charles Ingram appeared on his own in front of another jury in an unrelated case, and he was found guilty of insurance fraud. The jury was told that the millionaire case had left Ingram in 400,000 pounds of debt and he had no job. So he resorted to insurance fraud. So people go, this is a sus guy. He's just, again, getting away with the griff. But he's like, honestly, I had to figure out, I was struggling.

So I had to figure out a way. I don't know more details of that, but I think that was, you know, that's just a thing that happened. This from a BBC article, this is pretty rough reading. from 2007, four years after the trial. The ex-army major says he and his wife have faced torrents of abuse and had their home and pets attacked 60 times. So, like, you think they cheated on a game show?

And they've had a jail sentence and big fines. I reckon they've... It's enough. I reckon that's enough. Why do you care so much? It's so weird, isn't it? So weird. And the game show didn't lose any money.

Yeah, they haven't hurt anybody. Yeah. It's really. Real strange. That's so odd. And they've got three kids, too. They've got three daughters. That sucks.

It goes on. Ingram was convicted on Wednesday of assaulting a 13-year-old boy who had coughed at him. In the dramatization, he spat in his face, the boy. So he turned around and he said enough when he sort of grabbed him by the collar. And so, but that Ingram told the BBC news that the assault case was a travesty and said it was pursued purely because of who I am, someone notorious. I'm sickened by the maliciousness of it all, but it's typical of the trouble we have suffered, he said.

Salisbury magistrates gave Ingram an absolute discharge for grabbing the boy's collar, even though the victim agreed in court that he made up a lot of his evidence. What? Yeah, isn't that strange? The behaviour of some youths, he does talk about, Ingram's become old man, even though he's like 40s, he started to talk about youths a lot. Although maybe you would if kids were being like this year.

He says, the behaviour of some youths near, his home had become unbearable. We get a lot of coughing wherever we go, even when we go abroad to Spain. Generally, it's good-humoured, and if it gets intimidating, we just walk away. But there's a very small minority in the local community who are really vitriolic

and make our lives hell. This bit's rough. Our dog was kicked and punched by six youths and subsequently died. Our cat was shot with an air pistol. What the fuck? What is wrong with this? What did the dog do?

Isn't that, what, they're like, oh, this guy, yeah? Sounds like they coughed on a game show. You know what we're going to do? Kill their pets. Yeah, you coughed on a game show, allegedly. You've been fined heavily. You didn't get any of the money. Nobody was hurt.

John Ronson at the time, like, was talking to prosecutors and stuff in the case. Like, why are you even following through with this? This is an expensive court case. They didn't win any money. but it's just like why are you wasting everyone's time and money and they were like you know it's a big it's a big show

it's franchised around the world we've got to protect it's yeah so you're like alright yeah like yeah it's not quite enough to just stop it not giving them the money yeah it's a tricky one but they'll uh he's like why don't you take it a civil court why you press criminal charges

but either way I don't know if that would have affected how the public yeah do you think of the justice system surely that's enough. Yeah. That's why we have the justice system. So we don't have to kill people's dogs. Exactly. He says, I can't go for a run because people try to run me off the road.

I know it's deliberate because they slow down afterwards and cough out the window. You'd be like, because you go, oh, that's weird, a car run me off the road. But I'm running on a road. So there's an accent. Oh, they've slowed down and coughed at me. I reckon that was on purpose. That's fucked. We can't do things as a family.

We can't go to the system. cinema because there'll be a few youths who keep coughing and coughing until we have to leave because it's ruining the film for everyone else. Ingram says his car windows have been smashed and nails put under their tyres and on several occasions his rubbish bins have been emptied all over the street. Rubbish and eggs have also been thrown at the house, he says, and two weeks ago something worse. They threw what I can only describe as a bag of sick. It was revolting and it smelled terrible. Two weeks before that, we found a gang of youths in our garden smashing our windows. Another time my wife was surrounded by six of them on bikes who wouldn't let her pass and kept shouting bitch and cheat at her.

Ingram says he has reported about 20 of the incidents to police but is unable to identify those responsible. I don't know why they do what he said. I mean, the boy in court was eight when I was in the hot seat. So I can only suppose it must be coming from the parents. It's like, yeah, I don't reckon an eight-year-old was watching going ahead. I mean, it was never even aired. It's not reading the papers going, I'll tell you what. He lives in my neighbourhood.

I will show him. The tabloid media loved all of this and did stories on the Ingrams, aka the coughing major, and they sort of portrayed her as like a Lady Macbeth character. I think, is this how Macbeth works? Macbeth is he a soldier? Or he's a king? He's like a lord. in general.

Right. So, and then the cold wife pulling the strings behind is sort of how they portrayed her. That's fucked. And they did that whenever they could. Here's an example from the Daily Mail. This is, like, they just, what, anything they did became newsworthy.

There's so many different smallish things that happened. This one wouldn't be newsworthy if it was anyone else, you wouldn't think, but it is a full-on thing that happened. Another just bit of bad luck for the major, unfortunately, titled, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Cheat? Charles Ingrams slices off three-topes. in freak gardening accident. I got, poor man.

Former Arge, and he just seems to take it all with pretty good humour. Former Army Major Charles Ingram was seen as a bad apple when he cheated his way to the million dollar top prize on who wants to be a millionaire. This is a great writing. Yesterday, he was cursing a bad apple

after slipping on one in his garden and slicing off three toes with his lawnmower. He called him a bad apple, and then he slipped on a rotten apple, that's good writing. I think that's good writing. the coughing major after the ploy used to give correct answers on the ITV quiz

show. Mr. Ingram told yesterday how he took his three toes with him to the hospital. He added, it could have been a heck of a lot worse. Luckily, the mower had a safety feature to turn off automatically when it was let go. It's obviously a shame that it happened, but it's an accident and it's just one of those

things you have to work through. I just love him. Oh my God. Major. I was using my hover mower to mow the bank at the back of the garden and trying to avoid the apple tree when I slipped on a rotten apple, he said. I tried to avoid the blade of the mower, but I went over my foot.

I was only wearing Wellington's, and it sliced right through the rubber. Wear those steel caps if you can, people. Yes, and the toes? The same thing happened, my uncle, the exact same thing. Lost a few toes. My uncle had him reattached, so he just got these short toes at the end of his foot. But unfortunately, he said they were too mangled to get put back on. Oh, major.

He says, I remember seeing my big toe lying on the grass and thinking, oh dear. Oh, it's a big toe as well. For some of those I'm imagining, the smaller three. I was as well. And I'm like, you can still maybe walk in that. They've been described as classic stiff upper lip English people. And this is just classic, oh dear, there's my toe over there. Oh, oh gosh.

He said, I got up and I managed to shuffle down to the front of the garden. Fortunately, someone was just arriving to pick up a laptop and she rang for an ambulance. So he just took it in with very good humor by the sounds of it. I guess this wasn't, I mean, that was his mistake. Imagine going to pick up your laptop. Some nerds fix it before you, go to pick up. He's like, oh dear, mind picking up my, drop off your laptop, pick up my toe. Would you be so kind of just to call an ambulance?

I'm in a wee bit of strife. Would you mind calling 999? That's the British one. People are yelling at their iPods. Apologous. So yeah, so just all this weird, weird bad luck. Well, I mean, the rest isn't bad luck. That's just people being fucked.

But that was just another level of bad luck on top. That's horrendous. Well, it hasn't been all bad times. Ingram used their notoriety a little bit to feature on some different reality TV shows. This is what I thought was going to happen. I was like, surely it's going to be on Celebrity Big Brother. In England. Dancing with the Stars.

Because they love that weird, they've just got weird celebrities. So one that came up a lot was he was on an episode, or they were on an episode of the reality TV show, Wife Swap. Charles paired up with English Big Brother star Jade Goody and her partner, Jeff Brazier, was partnered with Diana. So they swap wives and then they sort of see how it goes. According to Stanworth, the former Army Major living with someone made famous by Big Brother, didn't start well, but seemed to improve after some blazing rouse. Jade tried to give him a makeover famously saying, if a track suit's good enough for David Beckham,

it's good enough for you. Diana and Jeff got on slightly better and seemed to enjoy their night knocking back tequila at Bubble Glam in Romford. That's a TV show over there anyway. So I did a few things like that. They were on the weakest link and stuff like that. One of the questions, the answer was cough.

Oh my God. Possibly the best thing that has happened to them in recent times, though, is this mini-series quiz, which is about the whole affair, which aired in the UK in 2020, the writer of quiz James Graham told news.com.com.com. I thought they were guilty. I couldn't believe how obvious it was. People were obsessed with this story and the interpretation of the events that existed in people's minds was that they were guilty. You can watch the tape on YouTube and when you see it, you think, oh my God, it's so obvious. The coughs are so loud and the patterns are so

distinct. But then you dig into the evidence and yes, there were 19 coughs on the right answers, but there were more than 190 other coughs on the wrong answers, which I don't know if that's quite the right number, but there were a lot of other coughs on the wrong answers. And there was this tape that the production team put together, who were the ones who were trying to prove that they didn't have to pay a million bucks. So there's all these sort of, and it took them ages, like a bunch of different tapes before they got it. That was the one that was shown in court. So there's all these sort of things that seemed a bit suss. Ma writing for the New Zealand Herald says,

since quiz was broadcast in the UK during the early weeks of the pandemic lockdown, many people have begun to doubt their guilt. Watching it, like the whole way through, which is really interesting, you go, oh, this seems real suss. And you're like, actually, no, I reckon this is just a bad coincidence. And it's funny how, I think the show does it really well like that. John Ronson, who wrote about it. He was like, it was funny how obviously it was.

as a scheme and I was sort of embarrassed being almost. He said back in 2006 that he was starting to have second thoughts writing, I was sure the three quizzers convicted of defrauding Chris Tarant's show were guilty, but now I have my doubts. I'm beginning to suspect that Charles Ingram, his wife, Diana and Tequen Wittock may be innocent. I'm amazed to find myself thinking this. I sat through every day of the trial and wrote an article about it.

At the time, like everyone else, I thought the plot was hilariously obvious. and badly executed. The plan was clearly for Charles to chew over the answers out loud and for Tequen sitting behind him in the fastest finger first seat to cough on the correct one. Ronson went back, went on to talk about how ex-millionaire contestant James Plaskett, who ended up, it was a contestant who was quite successful, won 250,000 pounds.

They got into a conversation via email, and he started, Plaskett really started to convince Robinson that maybe they didn't do. do it. And this is back on that great website, Wikipedia.org. I think this is what I'm finishing on here. I'm finishing on the positive idea of that maybe they didn't do it. Because I'm really not sure.

Like I say, times where I'm like, obviously they did. Well, you've taken us on that journey too because I was like the no. I'm like, oh, I'm guilty. But now I'm thinking, oh, maybe. Yeah, someone might have just gone, no, you know, like they didn't mean to. I've literally been in the crowd of that show and had someone whisper a stranger, I wish for an answer to me. Exactly.

I don't know you. Yeah. So this is from Wikipedia.org about James Plaskett. And he really believes they're innocent. He says, or this is him talking to Ronson, it says. Plaskett argued this was an example of coughs caused by unconscious triggers. Widok or others had simply coughed involuntarily upon hearing the correct answer. Widock was also accused of having coughed after Ingram when he mentioned an incorrect option to his penultimate question

and swiftly following that up with a smothered note. However, Plaskett, who had sat in the very same seat, argued that someone might have audibly said it in response to an incorrect option in the same way that other waiting contestants have been known to whisper no. Like apparently that's the thing that I was, no, that's not right. Ronson said, as I read Plaskett's essay, I kept thinking, yes, yes, but what about that piece of prosecution evidence?

Then he would get to it and cast doubt on it. I can tell you, having sat through every day of the trial, he has not left out a single piece of prosecution evidence. So he's like, he took him down one by one. And a lot of them are things we've talked about through the episode. But you go, I mean, is there anything that really stands out that makes them definitely seem guilty to you? It's the no.

Yeah, the no. The cough that sounds like a word. Yes. And the way he really did change his answer. Yeah. To me. Especially those last two. I don't even know what that is.

Actually, I think it... I've ruled out the others, have you? How? There's no reasoning. Yeah. But like he said, maybe he was just a bit of a strange guy with how he represented himself. And he's not saying all the words,

he's thinking in his mind about it. Yeah. Necessarily. So, yeah, I think to me, at the very least, enough doubt that you can't go definitely guilty. Yeah. And I believe that they're caught like ours. You'd have to...

It's like beyond reasonable doubt. I think that's what it was meant. The level was... meant to get to you. So why not like, yeah, maybe it should have been not guilty, but they didn't get the money. You know? Yeah. Yeah, because they probably would be a clause in every contestant. Yeah. It's up to the production company has the right to avoid any. I think there's also a rule that, and often that if the episode isn't aired, then you don't have to pay. So they'd say we're never error in that. I think that's always in the contract. So they'd be like, it's too sus. We're not going to

air it. And maybe then he's counter-suit. or something. Yeah. And it goes on, I don't know. But yeah, I think that, yeah, that seems fairer,

maybe. Definitely does seem like there's enough, there's enough, especially when you go, here are other instances on different episodes where there's been a lot of coughs

and that answers. And yeah, we, you know, you've pointed out some coughs, but there were a hundred more throughout the entire show.

Like, it doesn't, it's just strong enough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, obviously, it just feels like the punishment is far outweighed the crime, even if it was a crime they committed.

Yeah, so it's just a very strange one. It's so sad how their lives are gone after. It's like, haven't really been able to get work. He hasn't been able to get a job. I think last I saw they were making ends meet by, Diana was selling handmade jewelry at markets. And they just, they go around these markets together. She's like, we make some.

Sometimes we make a lot of money, but you've got to sell quite a few to get cover costs. So there's days we don't make any money at all. It's like, oh, it's brutal. Which makes sense why they might be going on the reality shows. It's not like some people might be like, oh, because they're 15 minutes of fame. They're probably just trying to get some cash. That's right. I need to work.

I need to do something. In the in quiz, they're offered hundreds of thousands of dollars to exclusively admit their guilt to a paper and they didn't take it, which you'd think, oh, we're guilty. we've found out, well, we need this money, but even then going, no, we're not going to take it. All these sort of things just make me think, there's enough doubt there. And it seems like that's 20 years ago, whenever it was, everyone was thinking, definitely guilty. And now it seems like because of this show and other things, there's a lot more shades of grey around it. Yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah. Do you have a gut feeling? No, I mean. One's Craig Dave. all the way along very much going, look at these bloody cheaters. But then, yeah, you get more of that evidence and you're like, oh. I've absolutely flipped and flopped over here.

Yeah. So maybe we understand him a little more with the flip flopping. Yeah, I don't know. I can say there you go. D. No, definitely D. A. Put it in.

Yeah, it's A. Yeah, I don't know. I will go with the last thing I thought, which is probably not guilty. Yeah, I just think enough doubt. Yeah. It's suss. It's suss as hell. Yes. But yeah, there's enough doubt in there to go, but yeah, it didn't get aired. Just don't give them the money. Yeah, that's right. Then, like, who's hurting?

Even if they are guilty, 100%. We know that. The behaviour that was given to them afterwards is completely uncalled for. Absolutely unwarranted. No matter what they did. Yeah. Wow. I just looked at the clock. This is, this may be the longest episode we ever do. longest ever report ever. And that is the, that's what we do for Block. And that's the number one topic right there. You've done it justice, Matt. What a great report, honestly. Thank you so much. Well, Dad. What a roller coaster. What an absolute ride that was. Thanks so much for sticking with me. Well, when it was like, this is one of the rare times where we know what the topic's going to be in advance because we've got to divvy up the vote. And when this came in at number one, like last year,

I was like, is this really the most popular topic? Now having heard it. Yeah. That was an epic, epic story. I do recommend watching quiz if you get the chance. If nothing else for that dream boat, Matthew McVeater, oh my goodness. A lead role. Someone's going to get on Wikipedia and change that further.

It's the type of report that we love where it's like, you know, some of it's a bit funny because you're like you're laughing at people, but then there's some intrigue. It's great. Good stuff. Well done. So now it is time for everyone's favorite section of the show.

We've got that little report I put together out of the way, which I believe is the longest we've ever done. But now it's time for a little bit more show. And in this section of the show, we like to thank a few of our great supporters. Without them, we would not be able to make this podcast happen. We haven't missed a week for now over six years, which some people say is a pretty good effort. Not me. I just think it's the base level.

Have a break. And we say, fuck you. I will dare you. I kill breaks. How fucking dare you. And just look at those other podcasts you download and think, fucking weak dogs. Yeah. Oh, we've done the 100 episodes.

No one cares. Anyway, so we like to thank some of these supporters in friendly ways than that. We're lovely people. Humble. It's like they're caring about saying, hey, you guys really should have a break. No, fuck you. Fuck you. How dare you?

I put all of my self-worth in that. We've never had a break. But anyway, these people we're going to talk about now have, um, Kept us going. You can support us, if you like, at dogonepod.com or Patreon.com slash dugonpod. There's all sorts of rewards on there. You can get bonus episodes. There's now over 130, maybe.

Yes, 130 bonus episodes, including the most recent one I put out a block special, which is a report, a follow-up to my two-part JFK episode, going through the rest of the so-called Kennedy Curse. So good. Third part of the Trip Teach. Well, that's out there right now on the Patreon or through our website if you're interested. Very excited to hear that because we're about to record it. Instant classics, I'm going to say.

But yeah, there's all sorts of different awards. The Facebook group, the community is such a nice place to be. It's really got me through some lockdown times. And I checked in with it, I reckon while I was writing this report regularly. Someone even called me out on it because I said, I'm just writing next week's report. And they're like, wait, is this why you've been posting a lot today? Yeah, yeah, that's right. That is part of my process.

So the first thing we like to do as we thank our supporters is we do the fact quote or question section, which has a little jingle, I think, goes somewhere like this. Fast quote or question, brag or suggestion. Yeah, you always remembers the ding. And to get involved in this, you sign up on one of those two websites I just mentioned. At the Sydney-Shaunberg level, you get pretty much all the rewards at that level. but one of them is giving us a fact of quote or a question. I'll read out four each week.

The first one comes from Austin Horst, and everyone gets to give themselves a title. Austin's given themselves a title, king of forgetting to submit a fact, quote or question. Oh, my lord. I'm afraid on a technicality, we're going to have to strip that title from you right now. Yeah, instant stripping.

So Austin's asking a question. And it goes like this. Hey guys, Hope all is well. It's been a while since I've sent in a submission. I keep forgetting until Matt reads them out each week. I make a mental note and then get distracted and forget until the next week. Luckily, Matt sent out a reminder this week.

Thanks, Matt. Hey, no worries, Austin. My question is, do you guys have a movie and or book that you love to reread or re-watch? Austin has answered the question. Like, we love it when people ask a question. Yes. Yeah.

answer the question. Do you want me to read the answer first? What you think? Or have you got something? I've instantly thought of The Rock, the movie. Oh, yeah. Sean Connery and Nicholas Cage, so easy to watch. You used to come up on TV a lot, and now I just watched it on my own time. Yeah, that's a movie I love, but I haven't seen it in so long. I reckon I would enjoy it more now. It's just good fun.

There's not many movies that I can really watch and re-watch, I don't think. but I have been re-listening to some, what's Steve Cugan's character called? Alan Partridge, his autobiography, I Partridge, I'm listening to for the second time. I just like to listen to it as I'm going to sleep. Also, his podcast from the oust house. Also, I've listened to a few times, which I really enjoy. As a kid, I watched Teen Wolf a lot, though. I remember that. Watch that heaps.

Yeah, I haven't reread books for a long time because I just don't read as much as I used to, But as a teen, I read Looking for Alibrandi and On the Jellico Road, both by Molina Marchetta, read those over and over and over again, loved him. And they stay with you. You remember a lot about them? Yeah. And I was thinking recently I'd like to reread, but I'm scared it'll be shit and it'll ruin that nostalgia. So I'm not sure what to do there. As for TV and movies, though, I'm a big anxious person, lots of anxiety and depression.

So a real comfort is re-watching things. I don't like new things because I don't know what's going to happen. So I re-watch the same TV shows all the time. I re-watch movies a lot. Casino Royale I'd watch a few times a year. Clueless. Those sorts, like I just like nostalgic classic films. I'll watch them all the time.

James Bond didn't have much of an idea in Cassina Royal. I agree. He was a bit clueless. Thank you. Thank you so much. Jack is around Clueless God he was clueless

I mean you said it in a weird tone But yeah I agree He was clueless Yeah I've watched Clueless a lot as a kid as well Yeah Just rewatch that I love sunny movies like that as well

When I'm feeling a bit down Anything that seems like it's in California In my mind California's blue skies Colorful clothes All year round Yeah Yeah absolutely

So I rewatch I rewatch Brooklyn 99 Kimmy Schmidt, Parks and Rec, 30 Rock. Like, I just rewatch shows constantly. You have to really push me to watch something new, particularly in lockdown. We'd be like, how, what are we going to watch? And my boyfriend would be suggesting things,

and I'd be like, no, what if we just watch a movie I've seen many times? And does he rewatch them too? Sometimes. Usually I rewatch a line. Because he's like, we've seen this many times. I'm like, oh yeah, well, shut up. Yeah, I find, I think I find it hard to watch. things again. Does that mean I don't have anxiety?

No, not necessarily. I thought I might have... No, yeah, no, you don't have anxiety and everything is good. That's great. I mean, I've self-diagnosed. I could self-undiagnosed. Yeah, exactly. You're the doctor. Cured. Yeah. What do you think I wear this? CETOPE? It looks great on you.

I listen to my heart and I'd say, all better. Austin answers the question saying for me I read the Harry Potter series at least once a year and my friends and I do a Lord of the Rings extended edition marathon every January both are really fun well-developed worlds that I love revisiting love the pod sorry I just saw that oof I got it on delay I don't know I'm just saying I was like oh extended editions that's a long that's a good marathon But then I was thinking, I was just going to ask you,

hey, Matt, who's your favorite Lord of the Riggs character? Oh, mine's a scientist. Ah, no, it's got to be giblets. And my action. It's funny. Every time it says giblets. Oh, I've never seen it, but I still enjoy it. Austin says both are really fun, well-developed worlds that I love revisiting.

Love the pod. I look forward to the new episode every week. Thank you so much, Austin. Oh, thanks, Austin. That's really nice. Next one comes from Katie Clay's, who I believe is a first time, fact quote or questioner. Oh, welcome aboard, Katie Clay. Katie's given themselves a title, The Lizard Queen.

I am the Lizard Queen, which is The Simpsons reference, right? That's Lisa at Duckworld. Thanks, Doctor. Oh, I'm not a doctor. That could be me. Self-taught. Self-taught, self-diagnose. I do it all.

Katie writes, a question. When my friends and I go camping, we play a game where we describe our poos. Oh, I'm going to enjoy this. We describe our poos using two words. Example. Muddy Sunday. Chili burn. Acidic slug, et cetera.

Sorry, just gagging. Camping poos are always a bit dicey. So it makes the game a bit more fun. So my question to you all is if you could describe your last shit in two words. What would your two words be? Fat hog. I obviously thought this is where her question was going and I really hoped it would be like,

what's a game, you and your friends? But no. I should say, before you answer Jess, Katie, I don't know how long you've been listening, but a gentleman never shits. So having chat, obviously don't have a name for it. It feels like your two words are no comment. No comment or Harry Houdini.

Oh, okay, mine, fine, thanks. That is good. That does sound like a real fun game to play around dinner time. Yeah. You could just see me pushing the plate away from the campsite. I think I'm actually okay. I think I'm going to turn in. It's still light out.

I'm going to turn in. Unexpected delivery. Thank you very much for that, Katie Close. That was a real... Nightmare. No, I mean, it was a beautiful question and very well asked. Very visceral. I think you're probably just a bit jealous, aren't you?

Because the gentleman never shits. Yeah, geez, how do you do it? And you're naming each one. Puff of Smoke, that's three words. It's good in a way. Like, it is important to keep, you know, to be aware of your bowel movements. I can tell you a lot about general health. Yeah, what's that scale?

There's a, isn't there some sort of the number scale? The Bristol stool scale. How do you fucking know? know that. Just knows everything. I did some stand up on it one time. And then I remember after I did the bit, Matt, you were there. And up the back, you said, David Quirk said to you, this is disgusting.

I don't remember that, but I love it. I might have put my words in David Quirk's mouth somehow. And then David Quirk said. Yeah, not me. I loved every second of it. I think I abandoned the bit after that. I was like, I really respect David. Oh, no.

Oh, I'm sorry. I should not have passed that info on. And then I quit comedy that day. I wonder why you haven't been funny for so long, Dave. Next one comes from Alex Batchy or B-C-H-E-B-A-C-H-Y. Alex is... Backy. Alex is the Vice President of Fun.

Brackett. An actual position I hold at my job, bracket. Holy shit. That can't be true. Vice President of Fun? I hope we find out more in Alex's fact. When I say bracket, I remember a while back, Americans say parentheses. In case you were going, what the hell are you talking about?

So Alex writes, this is a fact. I really want you all to come to Pittsburgh on your American tour. I'd love to go to Pittsburgh. Go penguins. So to hopefully convince you to come to my favorite city, I will give you some facts about DeBerg. Fact one of many. As in Chris?

Chris DeBerg. Lady in Red? Don't pay the Fairy Man? Is this where Christa Berg is there? They renamed it. He was honour.

I don't know why. I think that's one of my... It's nowhere near as fun as some of the names, but I love it so much. Christaburg. It's the best celebrity's name. Yeah. Hi, I'm Chris.

And he's such an unlikely-looking pop singer. Yes. Oh, the eyebrows. Incredible brow. Incredible brow work. Transitator on that brow. So anyway, Alex writes, fact one of many. Pittsburgh has more bridges than any other city in the world, including Venice, Italy, exclamation mark.

No. That's a lot of bridges. That's a lot of bridges. We are home to 446 bridges. Thanks for all the fun. The way I was setting up was a fact one of many, but that's, I guess, we'll hear more later. Great stuff. I love the sizzle of more to come.

Yeah, it's nice to start a campaign like that. That's good. And to have a theme, because I know it must be hard sometimes to come up with facts, quotes, questions, suggestions or brags or suggestions. Jess, you love Bridges. I love. Jeff Bridges. Oh, sorry, you love the Bridges family.

And I love the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Every other bridge can get fucked. Speaking of great eyebrows, isn't Jeff Bridges' brother a guy with bangin brows? What's his name? I've no idea. Jeff, Davy. helping me out here? Jeff Bridges is in the actor. Yeah, Jeff Bridges' brother. Bo Bridges, man. Check out Bo Bridges' brows.

Bo Bridges. Man, he's got great brows. Oh, damn. Have a look at those. Oh, my goodness. I've just had it load on my screen too. Oh, a couple of caterpillars right there. That is great stuff. Well, like maybe even above Sandy Cohen level brows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it probably goes, Bo Bridges, Sandy Cohen, Christberg. The bug. The bug. Thank you so much. That's a great fact, Alex Bichet.

But yeah, you always talk, maybe, did you just talk about loving the Sydney Harbor Bridge? Yeah. I'm making that up. Yeah, I love the Sydney Harbor Bridge. But are they as beautiful and majestic as the city harbor bridge? I can only assume. Okay, then we'll think you can be there.

Thank you so much, Alex. And finally this week, from Izakio, who, Yes, I forget Alex Bershay, Vice President of Fun, and Isakio, third in charge store manager of the Dugoan Membrabilia Emporium. Great to have you here. Yeah. I think I added a B in early there. Memorabilia.

That's a hard word to say. What's that B for? That's a typo. Izakio writes, oh, question, when you were young and yet to have your optimism and imagination beaten out of you, What career did you imagine you would be doing when you were an adult? I can tell you that right now. We too.

Professional game show contestant. Yep. Pro basketballer. I forgot to mention this on the show before, but I found in a box a grade four card. We had to write like a future thing. And it had a, it has a drawing of me with a mustache. Oh my God. Whoa.

I've ticked that one off. The other one was, and I was. You wearing a hat? Oh, my God. Professional basketballer by day. Yes. Rockstar by night. The perfect combo.

That's a great combo. I haven't tricked off either of those. That's okay. Still time. In year seven, these were the options I had for myself. Pro basketball. I'm only 5'4 7. I don't know what I was thinking of there.

Waiting for the growth spread, that's all. Mugsy Boggs is about that hard, I think. Any day now. Actress or nurse. I've done none of those. You've acted. I've acted. You've nursed me back to house.

I have done that. I thought we said we'd never speak of that again. My genuinely in primary school was archaeologist. That's cute. Really big. Indiana Jones. Big part of Indiana Jones and the mummy. Very influential on the young David.

I remember at one point I wanted to be an architect because I love drawing. Yeah. And I asked adults, I'm like, what's a job you can do where you draw? And they said architecture. Not illustrator or artist or artists. So they're like, that was the environment I grew up in. There was no possible.

chance of doing anything creative. You just had to get a job. Yeah. So funny. It must have been so weird in the 1700s growing up then. It's like it took me so long to get here. You know, now you would, if a young person asked you, hey, old timer, what's something I could do with my little crayons, you'd say, well, young whippersnapper, you can create

world. As Archaia writes, how close or far off the mark were you, I'm sorry, I'd say, I'd say quite a way off. Yeah. Oh, apart from the mustache. Yeah, both of you were about a foot and a half off your dream. Yes.

And for me, I'm a... Got to be told to be a rock star. I'm a qualified archaeologist, so... Yeah, so there you go. We nailed it. Thank you so much for that questions. Archeon.

Do you think there's many people that achieve their childhood dream? I was watching a JFK documentary for the report a few weeks ago, and there was someone who met him, like a kid who left school that day, shook his hand or something. on one of the many parade routes

and he was like eight years old. And JFK asked him, what do you want to be when you grow up? And he said, I want to be a pilot. And then it cuts back to the guy. And then his little super in the corner comes up with his name and it says,

Foo! Captain James, like he went on to the actual. That's nice. It was a great reveal. Yeah, I'm sure it does happen a bit. Because I think some people just know what they want to do and they believe in themselves.

But also like, I mean, you know, your life takes so many weird twists and turns. Like I, when I first went to you, uni. I didn't get into the course I really wanted to do. So my first year I was doing other stuff. And then I was looking around at other unies of what I could transfer and go do. And I was very seriously looking at paramedic.

Like I could have been a paramedic. Yeah, right. But I chose something else instead and now here I am. Like I wouldn't have done comedy. I wouldn't have done radio. I wouldn't have met you guys if I was a paramedic. It's kind of cool. Yeah, it's interesting.

Like full on sliding doors moments. Yeah. Would have been closer to the nurse thing though. That's true. At least I would have made you. seven Jess happy but whatever. Dave, you were stuck in Egypt but luckily got out very quickly.

I broke that curse. Okay, so yes, thank you to our fact quote of questioners. If you want to get involved in that, like I say, sign up to the Sydney-Schenberg level. If you want to get a shout-out, which we're about to do for some other listeners, jump on at the, I think it's the

arse prod level or above and we shout out a few of our great supporters. Jess, you know, we have a little game that we can play with their names based on the topic of the day? Yeah, so I was thinking it could be their specialty topics. Oh, great. Like they would be, you know, you would call them for this particular.

Oh, good, I don't know. Yes, they're the phone of friend, what topic? I love it. And somehow we can work it off where they're from or their name. Somehow we can work it through that. That would be great, which is going to be tricky for the first one, because from address unknown, I'd love to thank Tim Randall. Tim Randall.

expert on that very old TV show Randall and Hopkirk deceased Do you have any idea where that is? No. I didn't even know shows could die. A British TV show It's a private detective who

is haunted by Hopkirk Who is dead but no one else can see. Look, I'm loving it And a little bit hating it. Yeah. Depends on if they're pulling it off or not. They probably are. It lasted one season.

Okay, they didn't pull it off. But for some reason, it was on Nick at night, on Nickelodeo when I was a kid where they just played old TV shows. Like, it's not like Gilligan's Island, the Adams family, but one of them was Randall and O'Korke, deceased. Tim, an expert in that also, I mean, obviously from the Fortress of the Moles. And I, for one, would like to, what do you normally say, Dave? Praise their evil overlord. Yeah, I'd love to put it in evil. I wouldn't say evil, though.

But that's Dave's word. If the moles ever do rise up. Yeah. That was Dave. We welcome you. Yeah. Our benevolent overlords. Thank you so much.

Tim. I'd also love to thank from, let me say, Brie or Bray in California, where it's always, blue skies and sunny. Brandon Kilpatrick. Kilpatrick, oysters. Oh, okay. Is that a thing? Yeah, oysters with bacon bits as a Kilpatrick.

Right. So that's, but I think more broadly, Brandon's specialty is, oysters. He just knows all about him. He knows when to leave him alone. Yeah. Yeah, he can sense it. Should I shuck or should I go? Yeah. He knows the answer to that and he knows if you shuck, they're an aphrodisiac. You may end up fuck. Yeah. You're going to end up fuck. Wow. You're going to end up. Shocking leads to

fucking. That's got to be a thing already. Thank you so much, Brandon. He's on the other end. Yeah, lock in B. Shucking leads to And finally, I'd love to thank, oh, from God's country, Cincinnati, Ohio, Andrew Hettrick. Ooh, Andrew Hetchick. Hettrick. Hettrick. Hettrick. Cincinnati, they're the Bears, I think.

Is it the Cincinnati? No, Cincinnati Bengals, I think, in the NFL? Tigers. Tigers. So maybe is that a potential Cincinnati, Sin City. Is that, yeah, what else we know about Cincinnati? But it's in Ohio, God's country. Maybe he's a Bible expert.

Oh, yes, okay. Or maybe, yeah, maybe Bengal Tiger expert. It's all about, yes. I think a tiger expert. Because there's a few types. Yeah, that's right. But Bengal, maybe that's his favorite. Yes.

But at a stretch, he knows more than most. Yep. It is the Bengals. Yes. Apparently the baseball team are the Reds. So he's also a color expert. Thank you so much to Andrew Hedrick, Tiger expert. May I thank some people?

I would love it so much if you could. I would love to thank from Richmond, VA. Virginia? Luna. Shout out to you, Luna. All the moons. The moons are the solar system. Yeah, there's so many of them.

There's so many. Jupiter's got dozens. That would be great because it would be like, what's the biggest moon on Jupiter? And you'd be like, I don't fucking know. I'll call Luna. Yeah. And Luna's like, duh.

I know moons. I know moons. Also knows Luna Park. Yeah. And, you know, all the lunar parks around the world. So many of them. I know. There are a few others.

There's at least two. There's at least two. But I think there's ones outside of Australia? No. Okay. We won't allow it. And you know what? Dad always found this funny when we were kids.

Lunar Park backwards. Anal crap. Have you? I laughed. I didn't know what anal means. but still one of those jokes I got much later. Dad said crap. That's funny.

Dad, love you, Dad. I mean, it would really be crap, ain't it? Yeah, it'd be crap anal. Which is possibly funnier. No one wants crap anal. That's awful. Okay. Thank you, Luna.

I'm desperate to move on. I would also love to thank from Glasgow, Jasmine, Linderman. Oh, Jasmine. Oh, there's a lot to work with here. Linderman, isn't that a famous? box wine company, Goon, Gune Begnex. Vino expert.

Yeah, Vino expert. A Somalia. Yeah. I don't know how to say that way. Jasmine probably knows a lot about bojolets. Oh, she'd love a bojolet. One of the most expensive wines

in that restaurant you two were at before. I mean, prove that that's wrong. Yeah. That restaurant they were in their minds? Yeah. That was the most expensive one. It was a bojolet. They filled the markup on it was horrendous.

or their expensive ones. One of the two. We're not sure. They bought a four-dollar bottle and they're selling it for 2000. They saw you coming. And we're like, perfect. We'll have eight of them. You have walked in with your novelty check.

We need to spend this. Help us. So thank you, Jasmine. I would also love to thank again from Address Unknown. Mariko. Oh, Mariko. It sounds like a big organisation. Mari Biscuits.

You know those ones that you crush down. to make cake bases? I also have an Auntie Mari. And every time we have, we had Maori biscuits to make cheesecake base, I'd always think like, these are Mari's biscuits. That's nice. What's it for my Auntie Mario? What about a bickie expert?

Oh, expert in bickies. Knows what goes well with what. So you got like an ear or gray? No, what bickie goes well? Coffee. Yeah. Hot chocolate. Yeah.

Mariko knows the bickie of choice. Love that. An important job. Somebody's got to do it. Important job. Difficult to have a trivia question about. But still, I'll be calling you Mariko. She knows all the facts as well.

What do you pair this mint tea with? Well, probably, I'd say chocolate mint biscuit. Double mint slice. Oh my God, mint slice. I never would have thought that worked, but there you go. Double mint. Thank you. The chewing gum didn't lie.

I would also love to thank a few people if I may. Please. And first of all, a big shout out to Stoke-on-Trent, because that is the location for Katie Heath. Katie Heath. Katie Heath. Heath Ledger. Yes.

Keith Ledger expert. That's a good expert. Wow. All these movies back to back. Yeah. And all the character names, biographies of each character. Amazing.

It's pretty full on. What did he win an Oscar for posthumously? Would be probably one of the easier questions. Two hands. I mean, technically, that was part of the performance. I have to pay it. He had two hands as the joker. So thank you, Katie Heath.

I would love to also thank from another address. Oh, no. Destination. No, no, no, no, no, no. From the Fortress of the Moles, it's Daniel Pilgard. Pilgard. Pilgarde. Pills, one of the early beer styles, I think, or it's like a Czech style of beer,

pills from the town of Pilsen. And Daniel Pilgard is an expert in it. Oh, so maybe it's his family's job to guard that type of beer over the generation. That's right. And he's using that knowledge to his advantage on quiz shows. Well, as you should. You'd have to know all the other beers as well just to know what yours isn't. That's right.

Oh, so true. Yeah. So many questions can be answered, but what isn't it? You know what I mean? Like, what is love? Sure, but what isn't it? A dog. A dog is not love.

Have to pay it. Actually, no, my dog is love. Thank you. So thank you, Daniel, Pill Garden. Finally for me, I'd like to thank from Eaton in Western Australia. It's Adam Demarty. Oh, Adam Demarty. Eaton, it's got to be food-based.

Yep. Demarty, smarties. Smarty, yeah. Smarty expert? Smarty expert. Just confectionery in general. Geez, he's setting himself up, though. Chris Tarant will absolutely have a go.

Hey, not so smarty after that sort of stuff. You get it wrong. It's a real risk. And like, Eddie does it and you like, and he goes, huh? Huh? And you're just on the phone, you go, fuck you, Eddie. Fuck you, Eddie. I fucking hate you, Eddie.

I just, I want to phone a friend for the million dollar question. I just want to let you know I'm about to win the million dollars and fuck Eddie McGuire. Fuck him. So, yeah, thank you so much to Adam, Daniel, Katie, Mariko, Jasmine, Luna, Andrew, Brandon and Tim. The last thing we like to do is shout out a few of our long-term supporters. They've been on board for three straight years at the shout-out level or above. These people are being inducted into what we like to call the Triptitch Club. Now in this club, it's a beautiful space.

Come in, there's lounges, there's booths, there's a spa out of the back. There's booths. You can get a massage in certain areas. There's a second deck with whatever you like. Anything you need. And Jess, you normally have a cocktail or a food or something. Yeah, I do. What's the Who Wants to Be, a Millionaire Cocktail involved?

It's blue. Yep. Expensive color. Yeah. It's hard to get that. It goes with the color theme of who wants to be a millionaire. Lots of blue there. Yeah.

So it's essentially a fruit tingle, which is more of a purple, but it's like heavy on the blue. Cacao. Yeah, whatever. Cacao! We always called it Caraccaracchio because we couldn't. Caracaccio. I'm not at all confident of what I said. You said cacao.

Is that wrong? Yes. Oh yeah. Curricayo. That's closer. Okay. think. And it's like a Long Island iced tea and I've just shoved a whole stuff in there. You kind of flavour it. It's going to fuck you up though.

So good. In the same way that we say fuck you to Eddie McGuire, this drink is going to fuck it. It's good cause. And Dave, you normally book a band? Yes, and I have booked this week the rapper Chimillionaire. Oh, Camillionaire? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's actually the Camillionaire tribute act, Trimillionaire. We have to emphasise chah for legal reasons. Perfect.

An amazing save. What was Camillionaire's big song again? Lil Flip? No, sorry, that's, sorry. Ryden. Grammy winning hit with Lil Flip, number one, Grammy Winning. Is that Ryden dirty?

Ryden. Is that the song, says something about, obviously putting up some pretty good credentials here, my music knowledge, put me up, I'll answer all your hip-hop hit questions.

So we've got, what have we got? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight inductees this week. You can do it, Dave. I'm standing at the door. I've got the clipboard. I'm going to read out the names. Once I read out your name, you run on in. The crowd, all the people already involved are standing around ready to clap you in,

make you feel right at home. Dave's on the mic. He's going to hype you up. Make you feel right at home. It's a real buzz. Then Dave, obviously, this takes a lot out of him. So Jess is there to build him up as well. Give him a little shooge.

You got this, Dave. It's easy. Easy peasy. It'll be over in no time. and you're going to smash it. And I should say, if you're a first-time listener, well done for making it this far, Dave will make a very solid, I think, pun,

based on either the place name or the name name. At least an attempt. Yes. All right. So, you ready to go? I believe so. So welcoming in to grab yourself, who wants to meet a millionaire cocktail.

Get ready to see, show a millionaire. Performing the hits. I've become a millionaire. Firstly, from Sandy Springs in, I think, Georgia, the United States. It's Chris Gallinck. Oh, Chris from Sandy Springs and Dave, Shandy Bring. Yes, give me Shandy. It's going to have a Shandy.

From Milton Keynes in Great Britain. It's Ben Johnson. Oh, Ben, I'll give you the Milton Keys to the city. And to my heart. Yeah, and to the club. Go on it. Let yourself in, mate. It's funny.

It's talking about trivia because he came up on stage with me at one of our live shows to be my trivia partner, Ben Johnson. from memory. From Dagenham in Essex, Great Britain, it's Carol Joval. Oh, Carol's got me caroling all night. Yes. From Newtown in Sydney, New South Wales. It is Christopher Beaumont.

Oh, Newtown. More like Utown. We're so welcoming of you. Yes. From London in Great Britain, it's Kaylee Noakes. More like Kaylee stoked you here. Yes, dang. From Roscabury, Roscabury, or Roscabury, in Cork in Ireland, it's John Collins.

John Collins, here's a Tom Collins, a cocktail I've made for you. Okay. From Ashburton in Victoria, Australia. It's Maria Corritic. Maria, you're from Ashburton, but I feel flush with Cashburton now you're here. You make me feel rich.

That is good. Sorry about the pronunciation there. Maria. And finally, from Kattensville, in Maryland, MD, United States. It's Kevin Albin. Oh, more like Heaven, Albin. No!

Welcome in, Kevin, Maria, John, Kaylee, Christopher, Carol, Ben and Chris. And make yourselves at home, let's party. Let's get dirty. Let's get weird. Hey, thank you so much everyone that supports the show. We absolutely love each and every one of you. We could shout out to you all in one episode. We would.

In fact, consider this a shout out to all of you. Jess, anything we need to say before we bring Block to an official close. Oh, man. I mean, what a time we've had. Thank you for joining us for this extra long block. But we'll be back next week with, you know, topics that are equally fantastic and a lot of fun. So I've already picked my topic and I think you'll like it. Okay.

I love that sizzle. Bit of sizzle. If you want to get in touch with us, you can do so at do go onpod.com where you can find tickets to live shows. Merch, which is currently unavailable. You can make a suggestion. You can join Patreon, all of that sort of fun stuff. If you want to email us, you can email us at do go on pod at gmail.com and do go on pod on all social media. Well, that about says it all.

Thank you so much, one and all for supporting us this year for Block 2021. We'll be back with Block 22 next year, but plenty of episodes coming between now and then. But until then, I'll say... Happy Blockmas, everyone. Happy Blockmas, everyone. Thank you. And until next week, goodbye. No.

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