Two In The Think Tank - 318 - The Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Coughing Scandal

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

This is a story about one of the 21st century's strangest crimes, one that has been dubbed a peculiarly British heist. Tune in to hear the story!Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Stream our 300th episode with extra quiz (and 16 other episodes with bonus content): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoon Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2020/apr/07/coughing-major-millionaire-case-not-black-and-white-says-quiz-writerhttps://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2006/jul/17/couldthewhowantstobeamihttps://www.nzherald.co.nz/entertainment/inside-the-who-wants-to-be-a-millionaire-cheating-scandal/5W4WOLIOV4JWIUABZIUJLMCQ4Q/https://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/2003/apr/19/weekend7.weekend6http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6548721.stmhttps://www.vulture.com/2020/05/quiz-paddy-spooner-the-consortium.html Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club, April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at dogo1pod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right. I'm doing shows with Saren Jayamana, who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February, Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattstuartcomedy.com.

We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On.

My name is Dave Warnocki and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello Dave, I love you. Hello Matt, I love you. Hello Dave and Jess, I'm a big fan of yours as well. Big fan. Big, big fan. Wait, isn't that, that means more than love. I don't think it does. Fanship. No.

Much bigger than loveliness. And friendship. Yeah. A big fan would give me a kidney, would they? Probably. A really big fan, yeah. Oh, okay then. Yeah, cool.

Really big fan. And I would not. So great to be here. My goodness, can you believe it? This is it for Block 2021. The biggest block we've ever done by any metric. Yeah. Sorry, that might be confusing to all American listeners. I know you don't have that system, but it was the most voted for ever we've done.

It's the most topics we've ever done. Honestly, they're the two metrics I was thinking of. Yeah, the most episodes. The most episodes. The most weeks. Yeah, yeah. The most times we've collectively met up in a room to record. So, yeah.

So that's true. But for anyone out there who doesn't know what Block is, maybe they're tuning in for the top topic because it is that big. Yeah. It's attracted a new listenership. So basically what we do here every year is we have Blockbuster Toba Month where we do our most voted for topics. Matt puts out a massive poll this year, over 150 topics, I believe,

and we got thousands and thousands of votes, and this is the number one most voted for topic. We've been counting them down. We've been ticking off some big ones, but this obviously has got to be the biggest, baddest topic. I mean, a lot of the topics that got in surprised me. Like last year's number one I think was about an author I hardly had heard of. That's right.

Yeah. And I'm struggling to think of his name now. Dave, you did the topic. HP Lovecraft. See, I remembered something. Great work because I was just thinking Cthulhu. No, that's his big character that I did on Book Cheat as well. Anyway, yes.

But, yeah, so it's interesting to find out the topics that people want to hear. I guess that's the point of Block. We let the listeners decide. And, yeah, obviously this is the biggest one this time. It was quite close. It only, lip for clit, was leading the count for quite a while. And then this one swooped past at the end. So should we get into it?

For new listeners, the way it normally works is one of the three of us goes away, researches the topic, brings it back, and does a report for the other two, kind of like a classroom school report, I guess. Except at school you don't quite get heckled as much by your… That's true. Well, maybe not at your school. Yeah, that's right. In the affluent East, we all golf clapped each other.

Oh, a very good point. Very good, very good. At Jester's school, on every episode, we've been sent to the principal's office. So we always get on to the topic with a question. This week, I'm doing the report, and the question is this. What show has been franchised around the world and been hosted by the likes of Chris Tarrant, Jeremy Clarkson, Regis Philbin, Cedric the Entertainer, Terry Crews, Jimmy Kimmel and Eddie Maguire?

House Hunters International. The footy show. You've gone off Eddie Maguire for that one, haven't you? I didn't hear the rest. And the rest. Chris Tarrant was a footballer for Collingwood, so that makes some sense. But it's a worldwide smash hit. It's a quiz show.

Can I phone a friend on this one? Yes. Can I get a 50-50? Yes. Can I ask the audience? Yes. You're on sale of the century. Is it Gladiator?

No, it's not Gladiator. Is it Ninja Warriors? No, it's not Ninja Warriors. Is it Gladiator? No, it's not Gladiator. Is it Ninja Warriors? No, it's not Ninja Warriors. Is it Wipeout? I love that show. They've fallen off stuff. Wow. I think Jeremy Clarkson's Top Gear sidekick hosts Wipeout, actually.

So you're on the right track. Okay. But Eddie McGuire doesn't host that. Okay. Interesting. Eddie McGuire hosts the Australian version of this. Dave gave you some good clues just before. My dad has been a contestant

on this show. Really? How'd he go? Two questions bombed out in the second. I feel like maybe, have we heard that story before? Yeah, I think we talked about it before. Without using his lifelines? He did not use a lifeline, which he should have. What was the question? Annoyingly, for my

dad, it was something about a Scottish crime writer that my mum is massively into. He gets home and he tells her the question. She's like, oh, of course it's Ian Rankin or something like that. And he's like, I don't know. Of course it's Shakespeare. I haven't heard of him. Really?

Matt, Matt. Because the second question, they're normally meant to be very gettable. Matt? Oh, no. So it was the version where, the hot seat version of this show, where there's multiple, so it could have been question eight, and he just decided not to pass and just went for it. So there's no lifelines.

That did sound too hard for a second question. Yeah. Is it? Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? It is Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Who wants to be a millionaire? Which I learned is where they got the name from, a song that Frank Sinatra sang in a movie in 1956.

Is that true? Yeah. Love that. Love that. I also just remembered that the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire original show used to have a theme song that went dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And then in the credits, at least in the Australian version,

it's just like a bunch of people looking like at a tower of not money, but like, oh, my goodness, I want to be a millionaire. I think it's called the money tree. Is that what they're looking at? I think that's what it's called. I mean, talking of fans, there's a whole community of quizzers who are big fans of these types of shows. Wow.

And we get into them a little bit on this topic. This topic isn't just the show who wants to be a millionaire. It's more specifically a story about one of the 21st century's strangest crimes, one that's been dubbed a peculiarly British heist. It involves a couple named Charles and Diana. No, not that Charles and Diana, along with a Welsh university lecturer that they'd never met before. And it occurred... Not that university lecturer.

It occurred on a 2001 appearance of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. This is the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire coughing scandal. That's funny. Like, it's going to be hard to not cough during this because there's some thought during this that coughing can be a little bit like yawning. When you hear coughing, people start coughing more. Just people talking about coughing makes you sort of more conscious of it. Oh, no.

I'm about to go again. Can I have some water? I won't edit them out this time. Every cough is on purpose. Yeah. Every cough is beautiful. Every cough is sacred. So this was suggested only by three people interestingly. Wow.

It's been so many people voted for it but I guess not that many people were necessarily aware of it or thought of it as a topic to suggest it. It was suggested by Adam Knight from Croydon, who I believe is a Patreon, who again suggested it in the Patreon block poll. Also, Lucy Smith from Newington in Canton, England, and Huey Herbert from Buckinghamshire in the UK, and Olivia Gatliff from Hatfield in the UK. So obviously everyone who suggested it's in the UK. I don't think I'd ever heard of it before, and now I'm not sure

because I've been reading about it all week. I can't remember a time before I knew about the coughing scam. It's very, very vaguely familiar. I don't know a lot of the details, but I kind of know a little bit, and I don't know if that's from coming across it myself or seeing it in the hat and doing a quick Google. Right. But I don't have any.

I mean, it happened in 2001. You were both only, you know, 11 at the time. Yeah. And another, I'll mention it very briefly, but another reason why people outside of England might not know it so well, it occurred on September the 10th, 2001. Whoa. Wow.

So world news sort of was a bit distracted the following day. Wow. Truly a pre-911 world. It was, yeah. This was right on the edge of the pre-911 world. Anyway, shall we get into it? Yeah. Let's talk a bit about who wants to be a millionaire first. I imagine most people listening maybe have some idea, but the format was created by

David Briggs, Mike Whitehill, and Steve Knight. I don't know if Adam Knight's the guy who suggested it a few times. I don't know if he's a relation, but that would be interesting if he was. Apparently, Briggs had previously created games for Capital FM Radio, including the Bong Game. Bong? The Bong Game. Okay. I'm like, oh, I'm listening.

How does a radio game called the Bong Game work? But I looked it up. It's pretty much beat the bomb. You know, so there's that ticking, numbers are said, you say stop. Right, yes. And you want to stop it at the highest amount and then afterwards they play the rest and you go, oh, I could have won a million dollars. Every time.

I only walked away with $500,000. What a failure. What a terrible day I'm having. I said stop on $15. But do you just have to like answer questions whilst there's like a teenager with a bong and as soon as they finish a hit, they're like, oh, how long before they go for it?

Hey, man, have you ever realised that the sky is huge? I've never had a bong. One bong, please. Is that the kind of thing I talk about? The grossest things. Yeah, Weed Hornet, definitely. A guy who's been in a band called Weed Hornet. Hit a couple of bongs in his day, I reckon.

I've seen people do it and it is honestly disgusting to watch. Apologies to all the bong heads out there. Sorry, bong heads. Don't mean to alienate our bong pro audience. Hey, hey, bong heads, sorry. Sorry. I'm so sorry for Dave there. Sorry about that, you bong heads. I'm mainly

talking to Tom Mitchell from Weed Hornet, who I assume is a bong head. And a listener of this show. That's not true, Tom. It's not true, Tom. You're not a friend of the show. Oh, no, hang on. That part's true. That part is true. You're a listener and a friend of the show.

A dear friend, but not a bong. Is he a litigious kind of guy? Is that why you were so quick to? No, getting in there. So the show was initially going to be called Cash Mountain. Ooh. Is there a chance that it would not have been successful if it was called that? I feel like it would.

And when I read that, I'm like, oh, that does sound like people who make radio games up. Yeah. Cash Mountain. And is there like a goat going, ah? You're like, why is that there? Like you can understand like the ka-ching sound and like the horns. Why is there a goat there? I was thinking mountain goat. It's not clear though

in the audio. Somehow it works. I love it. It really sets the whole thing off. Presumably that is a pun on Splash Mountain. Oh, I hadn't noticed that, but yeah, that makes sense. Which is what a... A little Disneyland ride. Right. Yeah, I guess

so. I mean, this is a British... Or is that Space Mountain? Oh, no. Splash Mountain sounds like a thing. Splash Mountain's a thing, as is Space Mountain. Brilliant. Thank you so much, everyone. Is it? Space Mountain.

Space Mountain. I want to go to Space Mountain. I went on Space Mountain. Yes. And it's an upside-down ride, which I'd never been on before. But I was like, Jess, you're in Disneyland in Paris. You're going to go on this fucking ride. You're not going to get sick, because that's all in your head.

But then I got quite sick and spent the rest of the day holding everyone else's bags. Everyone gets their thrills in different ways. Some people like bungee jumping. Some people like Space Mountain. Some people like playing Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. That's a little call forward. Oh, okay. What do you call that?

Yeah, a tease? Tease. Anyway, okay. What do you call that? Yeah, a tease? Tease. Anyway, well worth it. So it was originally going to be called Cash Mountain. I think they even did a pilot. So I watched the miniseries and I kind of regret doing it because, you know, when you watch a dramatisation of something, you start to blur what's what. Yeah.

And I've avoided doing that in the past, but it was really good. It's on, I think, on Binge in Australia. So it's full dramatised Asian rather than a doco? Yes, that's right. Starring Matthew McFadden, I think his name is, from Succession. He's so good. And in Succession he's American, so it was fun to see him, with what I assume is his natural accent.

Very good actor. And the sister from Fleabag's in it as well as his wife. That's Charles and Diana. Oh, there you go. Anyway, maybe we'll talk a bit about that later. But, yeah, the name was changed and it was taken from the song Who Wants to Be a Millionaire written by Cole Porter and sung by Frank Sinatra in a film.

What if I was to blow your mind? Please do. Matthew McFadden is English. He is English. That was his real voice, but he's so good you don't know which is which. Yeah, I know. That's right. That's good.

Yeah. His American accent is very good. And I'm like, yeah, he must be an English guy. I kind of assume because... Going the other way is usually a bit more obvious. Yeah, I don't know why that is. Yeah, and I only thought of it because I was like, I'm pretty sure he's played Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice

and was very good at that too. Very brooding. Yeah, okay. And those three characters are very different. Not that I've seen his brooding character, but... Oh, him, okay. And those three characters are very different. Not that I've seen his brooding character, but he's... Oh, him, yes. I implore people to look up his Wikipedia profile because this photo has absolutely done him...

Yeah, it's no good. ...like a real disservice. He is an undeniably attractive man. This photo, you're like, oh. If I was his agent, I'd be getting on there saying, got to change that. Yeah. Jeez.

I mean, that just shows how unvain he is. I'm sure there's probably a word, better word than that. Unvain. Unvain. Perfect word. You nailed it. Thank you so much. Do go on.

You're doing great. So, yeah, I'm guessing many listeners are already familiar with the show's format, but I'll talk it out a little bit because I guess that's important. So there's ten contestants. This is the original format, anyway. Not Hot Seat. Yes, not the Hot Seat that Dave's dad's been on. My dad was definitely in

the Hot Seat, but is that a thing that a lot of other countries have transitioned to that version? It was very strict at the start, which I'll talk about. Like the format, if you want it, you've got to have it in this format. But things started to get tweaked. I'm not sure how many other countries have done Hot Seat. It's definitely gone around the world a lot,

and it's also not shown in that many countries anymore. But, yeah, maybe you want to look up Hot Seat if that format's been used. I didn't get that far into the modern stuff because this is all about the – within the first couple of years of the show. Yeah. Back when it was like a global phenomenon. Yeah. I think it's kind of like COVID in a way.

It was real big. It went around the world. Everyone's loving it. Yeah. But eventually it just becomes part of the flu cycle yeah and it's sort of it's there but it's not you know it's not in front of mind yeah exactly yeah yeah but for those couple of years yeah oh everyone was talking about it everyone's talking about it and it just like it felt like you'd connect with people different

parts of the world and they're talking about yeah and you, exactly. And you'd be like, oh, my God, that's so crazy. We're all the same in a way. So on the original version of the show, there are ten contestants and they have to answer a preliminary question. Okay, the fastest finger first round, which I love. And the fastest answer goes into the main game. That's like a here are four things. You've got to put them in the right order, A, B, C, and D. You've got to push these buttons in the right order. Whoever does it quickest gets onto the hot seat.

Then, so this contestant is asked increasingly difficult multiple choice questions. There's no time limit. The first is worth 100 pounds. The second is 200 pounds. These gradually increase until the 15th question is worth a million pounds. Oh, my God. In later versions, they drop the number of questions down, I think, but this original was 15 questions. For each question, they are able to see the question and four possible answers before deciding if they want to play. They may quit at any time and keep their current winnings.

But if they decide to answer, they must get it correct. Otherwise, they drop back down to their last guaranteed point. Guaranteed points came at question five, which was a thousand pounds, and question 10, 32,000 pounds. Wow. That's a big gap between your guaranteed points, isn't it? Yes. So I think a lot of people would sort of go, I'm not risking it for the 32, but then if you got to the 32, you got a free hit at the 64. Yeah. And, I mean, I always find it kind of interesting. Like I get it if you, it's that sort of beat the bomb type radio game

and you stop at $15 and you could have had $500,000. You'd go, ah, damn. Yeah. But at the end of the day, if you've gone on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and you've won $1,000, that's $1,000 you didn't have at the start of the day. Yeah, not a bad day's pay. Yeah, you've still won some money you didn't have. To get onto this early version, most people got on, I think,

by calling this number that was a premium number that cost money by the minute. Oh, wow. You know, one of those expensive numbers. And some of these people we're going to talk about, I don't go into this, but they called thousands of times. So they would have had to hit at least that to break even, I'm guessing. Yeah, okay. Also, I'd love to meet the person who buzzes out on $15 on Beat the Bomb.

I'm out. $15, stop. You realize the top prize is half a million. I'm out. I'm out. I want $15. You realise the top prize is half a million. I'm out. I'm out. I want $15. I came in with nothing. That covers my lunch today.

I'm not happy. Jess, what are you going to do with that money? I'm going to get a sandwich and a juice. I can get both now. I mean, you're talking today's money, Dave. Back in the 90s, $15 was quite a bit. That'll get you a round the world ticket. Jess's tiny coffee these days.

She brought in a tiny coffee, which cost a third of that, eh? What's going on with the world? So tiny. What if I'd gotten a big one? I'd be bankrupt. Oh, my goodness. I'd have to be asking you guys to spot me. You'd have to go back on Beat the Bomb.

Get another 15 bucks. When I was in high school and they'd ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up, I would say professional game show contestant. Really? I really should have followed through on that. But, like, you would be such a good game show host. Professional game show host. There's probably more money in that, too, if you get to be the host.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eddie's made more than any of the millionaire hot seat contestants. It's more consistent money. I think you really grew up in the boom time, obviously, which was brought on by Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. You could go from show to show. There were so many. There's a guy I talk about briefly who did that.

I think I even say he made his living for a little while on game shows. What a guy. Wow. So if you get a question wrong before question five, you leave with nothing, which normally that wouldn't happen. Dave's dad, obviously, an exception. He was on the hot seat. But if you go in the first five, there is...

You'd have to be a real idiot to get out of that. Well, there are some great YouTube videos of people being super confident on the first question, be like, B, lock it in. And then the host even says, would you like to read the question again? No, no, no, no, B. And then they lock it in and you hear the audience go... Yeah. And they look at it and go, oh it in. And then the host even says, would you like to read the question again? No, no, no, no. B. And then they lock it in and you hear the audience go, oh.

Yeah. And they look at it and go, oh, no. Oh, no. That's something I learned from this. If you were ever going on Listen, if the audience gasps, that's a sign that you should rethink. Yeah, it's not good. So to help, you get three lifelines.

At any point, the contestant may use one or more of these. You can use all three on one question if you wanted to. Ideally, you'd probably spread them out. All on question one. I don't like taking lists. I need 50-50. I want to call my mum. So, yeah, they're all very different.

You've got three different ones, 50-50, where you get to remove two of the incorrect answers, which always feels like that's rarely that helpful because you either know the answer or you don't. I guess you're going it's between these two. I know it's not these two and you hope one of the ones that you think it is gets ruled out. That's the only time that would help you.

But I guess if it's like an absolute corker of a question, like the million-dollar question where it's just like, you know, something about some obscure flag or something, you've got no idea. You go, well, it's one of these four. Now it's one of these two. Yeah. Maybe I'll take that risk. But that risk on the million-dollar question is you're also possibly losing

$468,000, right, or whatever the maths adds up to. So, yeah, are you risking it on that kind of question? Would you have a guess on the million-dollar question? We're about to hear about someone who did, but... I mean, I buzzed that after $15, so... Yeah, and I had a lovely lunch. Delightful sandwich and an apple juice. Delicious.

I should say there's a slight question mark over whether or not they guessed on the million-dollar question, but we'll get to that. I'm going to stop thinking ahead. So much sizzle. We really are in a hot seat. So you've got the 50-50. The second one is the Ask the Audience. This one, the audience all has a little pad and they click A, B, C or D

and then they get the percentage back. Normally these are good ones to ask for pop questions that you might not know, obviously, because you want the audience. If you ask them the wrong question, you're going to get a real split. Yeah, if they're not sure, if they're guessing as well. Yeah, exactly. And then there's the phone a friend. And I think they I'm pretty sure they would give three names beforehand.

They'd all be sitting waiting just in case. So all 10 contestants would have three people. So there's what's that 30 people sitting and waiting for maybe one of them to get a call. But I guess you'd ideally have different sort of knowledge strengths on each of them. Yeah. And then you go, oh, this question's about geography. I'll call Dave. Or this one's about maths.

I'll call Dave. This one's about flags. I'll call Dave. This one's about scar bands from the 90s. I'll call Dave. This one's about pies. I'll call Dave. You know, et cetera.

Or this one's about Triple J afternoon hosts. I'll call Jess. Yes. Woo. I know nothing about you. Who hosts weekend avos as of 2021? I'm going to have to call Jess on this one. Matt, it's me.

Jess probably knows. Yes, Jess, I know it's you. Oh, fantastic. But can you answer the question? The answer is me. Jess, I've just can you answer the question? The answer is me. Jess, I've just read out the possibilities. None of them are me. None of them are me.

Which one is it? Stop mucking around. We've only got 30 seconds. Jess, this is serious. Man, it's me! Well, I'm just going to have to go with Jess Perkins. But I don't know. As a guess.

Feels like a coincidence. Jess, are you telling me to lock in Jess Perkins because that's your name? Is that the only one you recognise? Obviously they've just done a random name generator. I should have called Dave. Who would have known this? What would be your...

Oh, fuck all. Yeah, don't call me. No, just what's your go-to? Because other quiz shows that came before this, like we talked about in a bonus episode, which is vaguely related to this, the $64,000 question, they had to come in with their sort of their strong suit, their specialty. I don't know what mine would be.

I have no interests and no skills. What about you've watched Parks and Rec more than anyone I know, something like that. Oh, yeah, maybe. Oh, yeah, actually I was with a friend the other day and we were waiting for something else to start, like a TV show we were going to watch, so we just put on an episode of Parks and Rec

and I just quoted the whole thing. So, yeah, maybe Parks and Rec, I guess, but that feels lame. No, that's great. I mean, if you're on like, what's Tom Gleeson's show? Hard Quiz. That's the kind of thing, that would be the perfect topic for something like that. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, they're the three.

You've got 50-50, ask the audience, phone a friend. I think you could call me for, like, film and TV stuff. Yeah. Actors who have been in such and such. I reckon I could do stuff like that. Yeah, which would be, you know, there'd be questions about that stuff every game show you do, I reckon. What country is Matthew McFadden from?

South Africa! He's just good at all accents. That's not the question. Which accents is Matthew McFadden very good at? Ooh, D, all of the above. Maybe the most famous use of a phone, a friend lifeline was in

1999 on the US version. 31-year-old contestant John Carpenter got to the million-dollar question without having used a lifeline. On the million-dollar question, he asked to phone his father, then said to him, hi, Dad, I don't really need your help. I just wanted to let you know I'm about to win a million dollars. God, it would have been so sweet if he was wrong. Yeah, it would have been so good.

Obviously, I'm like, it's so cocky, but my personality would make me go, just double-checking this question. I think I know, but I'll ask you anyway. I'm 99% sure, but I need validation. It was going to become an iconic moment either way. Yeah. Luckily for him, it was because he ended up getting it right. I love the host doesn't even muck around.

He's like, you're right, you've won a million dollars. Yeah. But he sort of, because he kind of has been a. I love the host. He doesn't even muck around. He's like, you're right. You've won a million dollars. Yeah. Like straight in. But he's sort of, because he kind of has been a bit tricked, Regis. That's Regis Philbin's hosting. And I watched it last night. And he can't, like, I reckon he's trying to build up. This is a million dollar question.

This doesn't happen that often on the show. A bit of tension. And then he's like, oh, you were fucking with me. Cool. Good on you. Thanks, man. Very funny. Yeah. This is my show.

I'm the star. But he said he had no real interest in it, but it was put on at a dinner party he was at the week before. So he's like, all right, I found all these questions easy, even the ones that are meant to be hard. So I called up and I got on a few days later. Oh, my God. He worked for the IRS. He got on a few days later. I don't know what I mean. Oh, my God. He worked for the IRS.

He seems like a pretty fun guy. And he said he considered quitting his job soon after, but didn't because, quote, after the taxes, it's not change-your-life kind of money if you want to eat every day. And I guess he does. Whatever. Loser. Get some priorities, mate. Get a big house with a pool.

Fill it with spaghetti. You'll be all right. You're good to go. Yeah, you can eat every day for quite a while. For ages. How much spaghetti are you eating, honestly? So you got a little bit off track there. We're talking about the British one, which debuted or debuted.

Forget which one is the funny one. But anyway, debuted on ITV in Britain on the 4th of September 1998. Hosted by Chris Tarrant, who was the radio host for the show that had the bong game on it and those sort of games. And he'd been on TV for decades by this point, TV and radio, very popular. Big radio guy. And the show was an instant hit. Initially they wanted to make it like event TV. So they put it on in primetime every day for ten days in a row, I think.

And it was so popular it was extended to a weekly, a regular weekly slot. I think on Saturday nights in primetime, which doesn't sound like primetime to me. That's the time when everyone's doing stuff. Yeah, they're sitting around watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Well, apparently that's what happened. I mean, we had Hey Hey! at Saturday.

That's true. On a Saturday night. So in its peak run in 1999, one episode was watched by more than 19 million viewers, which was around a third of the population. Whoa. Wow. So it was a phenomenon.

Yeah. Isn't that amazing? One in three sitting down on a Saturday night, I guess. I think it had Tuesday episodes as well, so I'm not sure which one it was. Like The Bill. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. In that initial 10-episode run, shows like The Bill got bumped.

Was that on ITV? I think I read somewhere that The Bill got bumped. It was like they just cleaned out the – they believed in it that much that it was going to be big. You know Bump The Bill, which is also a game from Chris Terrence's radio show. Bump The Bill. I believed also a game from Chris Tarrant's radio show. Bump the Bill. I believed you for way too long of that. Bump the Bill.

The sound guy's obsessed with fucking weird goats, Andy. Is that a camel? These goats are not well. So the show was franchised around the world very quickly like that american version was within a year um of the uk debut debut uh which had regis philbin hosting due to its its success within months the show was franchised in the netherlands like i think it was like august or something is that what i said or Or whenever it was in the UK. And then by Feb it was on the air in the Netherlands with a local version.

Then Australia and Spain were soon after that. And it just sort of spread around the world. There's since been more than 100 international versions of the show. On August the 16th, 1999, another show debuted in the US, hosted by Regis Philburn. It was a big hit there also, averaging 30 million viewers per episode at one point. What?

Which is obviously bigger than the Australian population, I think, even today. According to Kevin O'Keefe, writing for The Atlantic, at the time it was heralded as a major comeback for the primetime game show format in America. Those syndicated game shows continued to enjoy a great deal of success like Jeopardy and The Price is Right. The show scandals of the 1950s had effectively stymied all primetime game programming.

So back in the 50s, it took from the 50s to the late 90s for them to get over those 50 scandals, which we talked about quite a bit in the $64,000 question bonus episode. If you want to hear that, you can sign up at dogoonpod.com or patreon.com slash dogoonpod. Anywho, these international franchises came with strict rules. According to this fantastic little website I found while surfing the World Wide Web, it's called Wikipedia.org. Oh. Oh.

And I think, I don't know, but I think it specializes in sort of game show. Oh, great. Trivia. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's sort of like a compendium. Who wants to be a Wikipedia? Yeah, that's what I would have called it. But maybe that's what the W in Wikipedia stands for.

Who wants to be a millionaire. Yeah. So from that fantastic little resource, it says, British television producer Paul Smith first had the idea to franchise the UK program internationally. He developed a series of standards for international variants that ensured they mirrored the British original closely. For example,

all hosts were required to appear on screen wearing Armani suits. No! The hosts must be in Armani. Oh, they must, which is what Tarrant wore in the UK. So, like, he just rocked whatever he

rocked up in in the first episode, they're like, everyone's got to wear that. All right, everyone's got to have bacon and egg sandwiches beforehand because that's what he had. That's part of the success. Everyone's got to live on a church street. You've got to live on a street at number 13. First contestant has to be called William.

We don't make the rules. In fact, no, we do make the rules. We absolutely do. Also, producers were forbidden from hiring local composers to create original music. Instead, they had to use the same music cues used by the British version, which Dave impersonated before. Yeah.

And they believed all that stuff really added to the drama, the close-up shots. Even the chairs vibrated to try and really make the... Did they? Yeah. To freak the guests out. They had, like, speakers in them to make the guests feel a bit more tense. And then they'd have the music that went...

Yeah. Like, freaking... It is almost like the beat the bomb thing. Even though there's no time limit, you're like, oh, shit. Yeah, because back in the original version, like sometimes, because the contestant could carry over from week to week, they'd have like three questions in the hour because they'd be there for so long being like.

Yeah. I don't really see what thinking about it for so long does. Do you know what I mean? Like if you don't know, what's just thinking about it for so long does. Do you know what I mean? Like if you don't know, what's just thinking about it going to do? But maybe like something jumps in your head and you go, oh, I think the Latin word for that is actually this. Maybe you can work it out. Yeah, Eddie McGuire, he'd say a lot of talk it through.

Talk it through? What are you thinking? Say it out loud. This is boring television. Use your words. Yeah. But if you did get this, what would this kind of money mean to you? Yeah.

How would it change your life? I'm trying to think, Eddie. Shut up. I'm trying to think. My chair is literally vibrating. Yeah. I can't concentrate. I think it was interesting.

There was on one of the pages, maybe one of the Wikipedia pages, it went through the catchphrase on different things, and it sounds like lock it in was Eddie's own. Right, because that is a famous phrase in Australian pop culture. Yeah, lock it in Eddie is something that people would say out of context. Yeah. That means I picked that one. Just to confirm plans, people will still say lock it in Eddie.

You're still hearing lock it in Eddie. That's so good. I definitely have a friend who says lock it in, Eddie. I hope it comes back. I don't think it ever left. I don't hear. Jess is pointing to her heart. No, my boob.

Oh, sorry. Oh, yeah. You got a tattoo. Lock it in, Eddie, on your boob. But I think after this episode, now people in other countries are going to start saying lock it in, Eddie. Yeah, even though their hosts weren't Eddie. and they would say they'd say a final answer it seems to be what they would say on the chris tarrant one people people are yelling at their ipods right now going

no they said lock it in chris tarrant lock it in tarrant lock it in regis everyone's saying that and i'm like no this is an australian. It's actually a pretty cool thing we did. But it does surprise me that is his own catchphrase, if they have to wear an Armani suit, if Eddie's allowed to make up a catchphrase. Yeah, that's weird, isn't it? And it probably happened organically. And I suppose he's not saying it, they're saying it to Eddie.

Who can tell, looking at a suit, that it's Armani? Oh, I can. That's who I'd call it. Yeah. An Armani question came up. And I'm wearing one right now. Okay. That is not what I had in mind when I was thinking of Armani suit.

It's a beautiful fit. You know how, like, the difference between, like, what you see, like, on the rack and what you see. You're swimming in it, Dave. What you see on, see on a shop that's one of those extremely famous fashion houses and then what you see people wear on the runway. There's a big difference. Way less garbage bags.

Can Eddie rock up in a garbage bag and be like, well, technically it's Armani. He's got balloons attached to his hair. He's wearing hair plugs. He's got blue eyeshadow. His underpants are on the outside. He struts up to his chair. This is high fashion.

Oh, you don't understand fashion? That's fine. I'm Eddie McGuire. I kind of hate Eddie. He's done a lot of bad things. He's done some terrible things and still very much employed and wealthy. So that feels good. He has lost a few jobs lately.

He lost the presidency at the Collingwood Football Club. Yeah. Is he still on radio? I think he left radio. Okay. Left. I think he chose to maybe. And you don't get paid to be president of a football club.

Don't you? No. Oh, you should. Yeah. It's hard work, I imagine. Sitting on the end of a board going, Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!! I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good I imagine very quickly he was getting that at the shops and stuff. Yeah, it would be tedious.

Thank you. Do you reckon? You got your pin? You should lock it in, Eddie. Like get right up in his face. Lock that pin in, Eddie. Lock that pin in. Please back up.

I'm trying to pay for my groceries. I just want to see you lock it in. Eddie, why don't you lock it in there, mate. Do you get it? I'm referencing your television show. Please leave me alone. The other thing, so you had the suits, the music. You also had the lighting system and set design were to adhere faithfully to the way they

were presented on the British version. Some of Smith's rules have been slightly relaxed over the years as the franchise development has progressed and they're allowed to say things like, lock it in, Andy. Yeah, okay, that's good. At what point did he abandon the Armani suit? He's like, all right, obviously this isn't part of the success. Yeah, you could wear a suit from, I can't think of another brand.

Giorgio Armani. You could wear it. Different Armani. Wait, what's the other Armani color? It's Armani and it's Giorgio Armani. Wait, what's the other Armani colour? It's Armani. And there's Giorgio Armani. Oh, I did not know that. I assumed that was the same thing.

Just a coincidence? No relation. No relation. There probably isn't. It's his son, Greg Armani and Giorgio Armani. Just to have the same sort of exotic Greg. I love Greg as a name. You know this about me.

I know. I do know that about you. Beautiful name I love Greg as a name. You know this about me. I know. I do know that about you. Beautiful name for a boy or a girl. So I think in the $64,000 question bonus episode, we talked about how Millionaire seemed to borrow a lot from those 1950s game shows in America. So it's probably no surprise that since the British version was launched, several people have come forward claiming that they came up with a format. Not people from the 50s, but just people from, you know, anywhere in between.

I don't believe anyone's been successful proving this in court, though, according to that great wikipedia.org website. While many pursued litigation, they were all unsuccessful, and each claim was later settled out of court on an agreement or settlement. there was obviously some that were you know had some merit i think there are ideas like uh someone pitched a show to a sister company of the production company that ended up doing it and they had some very similar elements and that they said no no we came up with it but and and they'd also uh some of those signed an NDA or whatever, so they weren't able to talk about it,

so you don't really know what the story was. But it is also the kind of game, maybe this is just now because it's so ubiquitous, this sort of game, but it feels like how do you come up with a quiz game show that doesn't borrow elements that other people have probably thought of, even if you haven't thought of yourself. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

I don't know if I'm making any sense there. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow.

Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. I get you. Anyway, we're getting bogged down in a bit of preamble here. We haven't got to the topic at hand really at all. But we've set some context. Yes. So Charles and Diana Ingram. This is the Charles and Diana we're talking about.

The royal ones. No, sorry, these aren't the royal ones. I think their surname is Royal. Or is it? Charlie Royal. Charlie Royal, Diana Royal. So this is different people. Yeah royal yeah no these are are you legally allowed like if you're a charles in the uk are you legally allowed to marry a diana when did

when did the british royal charles and diana marry would have been a similar time because these two got married in 1989. Oh, but I think just before that probably. Earlier. 80s? Yeah, the boys are both older than us, older than Dave and I. They would have. So this couple would have absolutely copped it.

Yeah. I can see why they were driven to a potential life of crime. I just need money to change my name. I can't handle the jokes anymore. Yeah, well, they got a whole different level of jokes after this. I bet they were begging for the prince and princess jokes. Now they're getting Charles Diana. Yes.

That was the least of it. Anyway, we'll get to that. So Charles, a soldier in the British Army, met Diana while she was studying to become a teacher. And they married in 89, had three daughters. I think she became a civil servant. And he was promoted to the rank of captain in 1990, then major in 1996.

So I think that's relatively high in the British Army. Yeah, age is pretty high. And that was in his early 30s, I guess. When he was on the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire show in 2001, he was 37. Still a pretty young age. Yeah, very young. So much ahead of you.

If you see him, it's funny how people in the past look older than they were. I would have guessed that he was 45 but that's just how time works. Fashion back then, I guess people who were in their mid-30s then are now in their 50s so you go, and the fashion, you know, people stop changing their fashion.

Not like me, I'm always up to date. Always bring your Armani suit. Yes. By the way, I looked it up. Giorgio Armani is the cheaper line. Oh, that's interesting. The more accessible line. There's Emporio Armani and Giorgio Armani. Okay, thank you.

Thank you so much. I did not realise that and I would never. I don't want to get scammed down at the market. If I'm going to buy fake Armani, I'm going to make sure it's Emporio Armani. Yeah, it's the good one. It's a good fake. Do you know what? Maybe it's also that, like, we are still remembering that we were kids then and so people, anybody over the age of, like, 18 looked ancient.

Yeah, I reckon there's something in that as well. Yeah, but I also just think they weren't using SPF back then, you know. They weren't as aware of the damages of the sun. Right. And we're looking after their skin as well. And I think they... Now, look at us. I feel like we're gripping onto our youth more now as well,

like desperately not wanting to grow up. Yeah. But maybe that's... Maybe every generation thinks that. No, my parents had a couple of kids by now. Hey, what are you talking about, goose? And a house, yeah. Did they have a goose?

They never had a goose. Listeners, Jess has a goose. Or a dog called goose, anyway. Or a goose called dog. So in 1999, while Who Wants to Be a Millionaire was hitting its popular peak, Ingram was sent to Bosnia for six months on United Nations peacekeeping duties. Back at home, his partner Diane was going millionaire mad. She loved it.

She was a quizzer. She really enjoyed the quizzes. Her and her dad and her brother, they'd do the pub quiz and all that sort of stuff. They just love quizzes, love trivia. A real egghead. Yeah, real egghead. She would have loved the show that has the eggheads on it. What's that show called? What's it called? The Eggheads. It's called The Eggheads. Yeah, real egghead. She would have loved the show that has the eggheads on it. What's that show called?

What's it called? The Eggheads. It's called The Eggheads. Great. What's that show with the eggheads? It's like it's got the eggheads on it. It's all based around the eggheads. And it's a show, I've said this before,

it's a show that looks like everyone involved thinks it's a dress rehearsal. No one's bringing any energy. Someone's got to shout action. Is it the one where there's just like a panel of people? Yes, yeah. Yeah, you're right. And then the challenges. And it just feels like they, yeah, they don't know they're on the air.

It's safe to say that no one is wearing an arm arm. So, yeah, Diana, big fan of the quiz shows, as was her brother Adrian Pollock, and they became really obsessed when the show launched. In the early days, when the way to get on was calling that premium number, Adrian and Diana did a lot. I think Adrian did, you know, a thousand times or whatever. He called it incessantly.

He made it on the show a couple of times, including on the episode that aired on the 21st of January 2000. Unfortunately, his finger failed to be the fastest finger first. So he did not get into the hot seat. He went back to the drawing board, trained hard, even building a fastest finger machine to practice on himself at home. So he's at home in the shed. To practice on himself.

With his fastest finger machine. A fastest finger machine. Plugging away on his fastest finger machine. Sometimes faster isn't always better. Really gouging away. The fastest finger machine. And when he was relaxed, he was ready for the show. He brings it on with him.

Oh, we're about to answer the question. Sorry, I've just got to use the fastest finger machine. Oh. And I'm ready. I'm good to go. Chris, ask me the question. He's like, the show is over. You took ages.

You take a while. That was so long. What is wrong with you? In his efforts to make it onto the show, he stumbled across a secret underground online community of quiz lovers called The Syndicate or The Consortium. Oh, my goodness. Which was led by a guy from Hampshire in England named Paddy Spooner.

And this Dave, he should be your hero. I think you'll love this guy. Paddy Spooner. I already love him. This feels like it's a whole other thing. This doesn't really have that much to do with the topic, but it's a very fun little side thing and a way more intricate set up than what the alleged heist ends up being.

According to Devin Ivey writing for Vulture, Spooner was a university dropout who primarily made his living through pub quizzes and tournaments prior to his ascension as a game show contestant in his early 30s. So he went from making a living from pub quizzes, but then he hits the big time. As in, like, he's winning meat trays and then selling those meat trays or just, like, living off of paying rent with a meat tray?

Yeah, he's rocking up with, like, hey, landlord, I won two jugs of beer tonight. Yeah, here you go. Here's one for you, one for me. I think that's fair. Cheers. Hero, see you next month. I'll come down. I'll be on your team whenever you like.

Landlord's team. Yep. No worries. I've got a $25 voucher for the pub. So we good? We square? I think I'm getting scurvy from my meat-only diet, but...

But then I love it. And then he went professional. He went pro in his 30s. So, that's when he became a prolific millionaire contestant and the first ever person to appear on multiple versions of the show. He went on in Australia, the UK and Ireland. Just like, travelling around to be on multiple versions of the show. He went on in Australia, the UK and Ireland.

Just like travelling around to be on the show? Yeah, I think that's right. And each show, like the Australian version, the easy questions in Australia are very Australian specific. Yeah. Yes. And that's the case elsewhere. So it's like a question like like a favourite pastime chocolate treat is

a caramello what? Wombat? Kangaroo? Echidna? Or koala? And even the audience sometimes chuckles at how easy it is. Of course, a caramello echidna Eddie? No, it's not going to be that. Obviously not. But if you don't know caramello koala, they're just things you grow up with. What the hell is that?

Yeah, exactly. So, but I don't know if he spent time, enough time in each country because he did pretty well. He won a quarter of a mil in Australia, quarter of a mil in the UK, but then he bombed out in Ireland winning 1,000 euros. Oof. On the Irish version, he did not know the name of Pierce Brosnan's baby. Very Irish specific question, I guess.

Pierce Brosnan's actual baby. Yes, I think so. So it was obviously big in the news at the time or something. And maybe he was traveling around. He missed it. Oh, lock in koala. So apparently he pulled an old coin out of his pocket and he flipped it. But he flipped wrong.

So that was the 4,000 euro question. And so he slipped back to the 1,000. Do we know the name of Pierce Brosnan's baby? No. I don't think I do. Do you want me to look it up? I think one of them might have. I think he was recently at an awards ceremony and he brought his two sons.

I think I remember seeing that. That's nice. Pierce Brosnan's. I'll see if I can find the actual question. There's this great resource. No, of all the questions. Well, it doesn't have all the questions, but I use it a bit later. I'm going to ask a few questions.

Are you just talking about the who wants to be a millionaire game? There's a fandom. Like I say, the quizzes are right into it. So a lot of the, if you're a parent, if you appeared on there, you've probably got a photo on this wiki with your questions and that sort of stuff. Wow. Like, for instance, his fastest finger first question

on the Australian version was, by what stage name do we better know Helen Porter Mitchell, which is, I wouldn't have known. Dame Nellie Melba? Yeah, that's right. So that's quite an Australian question. Yeah, yeah. But he got that's quite an Australian question. Yeah, yeah. But he got that.

Yeah, he got that right. And then he got all the way through including like his last question he got right for the Court of Emile was the last convicts transported from Britain arrived in Fremantle in what year? Oh, my goodness. 1848, 1858, 1868, 1878. And he got that right. I don't have a clue. Let me see if I can get to the Irish version.

That's wild. It doesn't ask that question there, sorry. So does that mean then that they can't repeat questions ever? I think that's the idea. They try not to anyway. Which is wild, isn't it? Well, I worked on another quiz show fact-checking for a few years, and part of that job was to check it against the database of questions

that had been asked before to make sure there were no double-ups. Yeah, right. So that was one thing you could flag, or if it's a question that could have multiple answers like it's too open-ended yeah and that or you could even you know just argue uh something else which was funny it was i got pretty good at it but it was it was an interesting thing as you go you get away with this in trivia pursuit because you know what the question means or a pub trivia night. But for the TV, you had to hold it to a higher standard because they could be like, technically there was this Dick Smith version

of the Caramello Koala called the Caramello Echidna or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So technically you could say that is true as well. So you'd have to like add in something like debuting in 1958. Yeah, that's right. Which is iconic Australian chocolate., debuting in 1958. Yeah, that's right. Which is iconic Australian chocolate. Imagine debuting a chocolate. The big launch.

Cut the ribbon. Everyone's like, woo! Caramello, come on! And then they have one and they go, that's all right, I guess. That's fine. That's pretty good. There was like a charity box going around and they were a dollar for a big one. Yeah, woo!

So his children, he had five. So I don't know if it was a specific one at the time. Paris, Charlotte, Christopher, Dylan and Sean. You reckon it would be probably something like Paris. Yeah, to be noteworthy. Is his kid's name Venice? What's his wacky kid's name? Yeah, and that's what a lot of times the early ones are,

that they're like sort of almost puns or wordplay on there. Anyway, sorry. Sorry about that. Is it Paris? Parisian? Harry? Or Greg? So anyway, this guy, Paddy Spooner, which I think is a fantastic name.

Amazing name. He became somewhat of an expert, and he was like the leader of this underground community, the consortium, which he turned into a money-making thing. He brought together other like-minded quizzers, and as fans of these kind of shows called themselves, quizzers, And as fans of these kind of shows called themselves, quizzes, and he basically they sort of got together, figured out this is the easiest way to get on.

These are the kinds of questions you're going to be asked to get onto the show. And it just got really organized. And then they would start selling their service for a percentage of your winnings. Whoa. We'll get you onto the show and we'll take a cut from it. Right. Do they start selling their own fingering machines? Fastest finger machine.

Yeah, just with their brand name, the consortium brand name. This one has a few settings. It's also got a slow setting. I'll say start slow and find your speed. That's good. Work your way up. Who wants to come in here?

It's a bit clunky at the moment, but, well, you know, that's... Better than the original title, Come Mountain. Is it? No, actually, that's probably better. Splash mountain. Who wants to climb

cum mountain? But that's interesting. So, like, we'll get you on the show, but say you win $250,000, we'll just take a cut of that. We'll take a quarter or whatever it is. James Graham, who wrote the play and the TV series, which is called Quiz, which I was talking about before,

talked to Bustle.com about Spooner's Consortium, saying they were a series of expert quizzes and talented individuals who both grew to understand ways in which you could manipulate the phone line system to be selected to go on the show and then offered a service to clients who hired them to help them get chair-wise, is what they called it.

You want to get chair-wise? Well, you talk to us. Which is basically how to... It sounds like beat the bong. You want to get chair-wise? How to work out being in the chair and how to play the game. And also, infamously, the phone a friend being diverted to this special secret room, which was filled with quiz experts who would, as a team, help answer the phone a friend.

So there'd be a few numbers that they'd give people. They call this number. It looks like it's going to, you know, you'll say it's your uncle in Scotland. But it's actually being diverted to this room where there's a dozen of us. We're listening to it on speaker. And whoever's got it will write down the answer and then they'll be able to give it to you. And the first person's just like, oh, hi, Eddie.

Oh, I'm so nervous. Let me think. Let me think. Hmm. Waiting for somebody to write it down. It's a toughie, isn't it? And then they just say the answer too confidently after that. Yeah.

It's D. See ya. It's D. Hooray. Graham also said that Spooner believes nearly 10% of winnings in the UK shows history came through their system, which is valued at around £5 million. Spooner kept a

sizeable percentage of those winnings for himself and his consortium. So he was making good cash out of this. He sort of says, I never did anything wrong. It wasn't cheating. We just found loopholes. But that one feels like... That's fucking broad. Getting you onto the show? Okay. But actually answering the phone with a room full of people,

surely you've signed something that says you. Yeah, because people who go about it in a legitimate way literally have their uncle in Scotland and hope that he knows. Oh, no. That's dodgy as shit. Who did win the PGA in 95, you know? Yeah. Oh, Steve Elkington.

I'd call my dad for that. Jeez, if that's right, you know? Yeah. Oh, Steve Elkington. I'd call my dad for that. Jeez, if that's right, that's fucking sick. Oh, my goodness. It's not, but. You want me to Google, don't you? You want to be right. Oh, no, that isn't right, but that's fun that I even had an answer from a golf who was playing then.

Holy fuck. No. What? What? She's just holding up the answer. Steve Elkinson won the... That's weird. Do you think my brain knew that?

PGA 1995 Championship, Steve Elkinson. His only major win. Do you think my brain actually knew that? Yeah, I think you actually knew that. Oh, my God. That's amazing. That made me feel weird. I've never even

heard of him. Nah, that is incredible. I don't know. Yeah, I would like it. You did that. That has freaked me out a bit. Maybe I should go on the show. I think you should. There's no way I'd have the guts to lock that in though, Eddie. You know what I mean? I'd never lock that in. That's the problem, Matt. You've got to believe

in yourself. That is so amazing. That's the problem, Matt, is you've got to believe in yourself. That is so amazing. That has honestly tripped me out. I'm feeling weird. What's happening? You don't have to feel weird. You got some trivia right. Even if it was like a guess, it was a good guess. And you won it in a sudden death playoff.

Oh, my God. That is so funny. That is so good. That is so good. I feel like I can't go on. No, but you have to is the thing. You simply must go on. That is so funny. Okay.

Okay. So after meeting with Spooner, so Adrian got on like a message board or something, one of these old school blog things online. Adrian ended up meeting with Spooner but didn't use his services, possibly because the percentage of his winnings he'd lose to the consortium was too high, which is interesting because you'd be like, if that is true, I don't know. Or maybe it was like, I actually don't want to go.

I don't want to out and out cheat maybe because he was a quizzer. Like that's the weird thing about it. You'd feel like the people who love it would also love the purity of it. It wouldn't feel very satisfying to win a quiz through sort of dodgy a meme. Yeah. Pull your phone out and just Google the answer. Yeah. Like getting on there. I understand that kind of help.

You'd be like, there's a lot of luck involved. And you're desperate to play. And they also, there was a lot of sort of conspiracy theories going through the community. Like, they don't want us. Real quizzes. We're too boring to be on there. So they. Not that we're too good.

We're too boring. That's so sad. Stick to the eggheads, mate. There were things like, you know, like Adrian thought, I think it was Adrian who thought, you know, don't, he was Welsh. Oh, he's Welsh. And he's like, don't speak with a Welsh accent. Try and almost sound robotic when you call in because they don't want any

of these sort of regional dialects. They want a robot. Yeah, which doesn't, I don't think. They don't want any diversity these sort of regional dialects. They want a robot. Yeah, which doesn't, I don't think. They don't want any diversity. Yeah, surely you'd want, on a show, you'd want more interesting. So, yeah, it's strange things like that. That's funny. And then they'd also have these thoughts like when you're on there,

you've got to, they'll give you easier questions if you're being interesting. You know, they want you to keep going. To keep you on. So, yeah, you've got to make it. Bring some drama to the show. Hello! Be a robot.

Be interesting. All these things are definitely go together. Come up with your own catchphrase. Mummy wants pie. Every time you get one right. Honestly, they have such bizarre celebrities in the UK. It would not surprise me. It isn't.

Their celebrity culture does seem different over there. People are, oh, Jack Jones. Okay, the mummy wants pie, man. And then they go on Strictly Come Dancing. I think my idea of this is just based on the fact that Peter Andre was a big star there for a long time. I'm like, they do have weird celebrities there, don't they? Mummy wants pie. The Mummy wants pie guy.

Well, I relate. I can relate. Mummy got to eat pie Correct answers, that's my pie Can I just say The fact that they think that The questions are rigged Is way less surprising to me now

That we've done the bonus report on the $64,000 Question and the controversy Behind a game show And getting people that are interesting Producers selecting people Because they definitely, in the 50s behind a game show and getting people that are interesting. That's right, yeah. Producers selecting people. Because they definitely, in the 50s, the dodginess was happening on the other side of the camera.

Totally. All right, Jack, say the line. Mummy wants pie. I feel dizzy from laughing to her. So he'd already been on a couple of times, but his fast finger wasn't fast enough. But he kept trying to get on the show, and on the 8th of September 2000, he made it back.

Only this time he was better prepared. He'd had around seven months to practice on his machine strategize relax he sounds like he had the theories that some of them maybe were right and some of them were nonsense maybe but he was ready but unfortunately yet again his finger wasn't fast enough because someone else is literally just going i'm gonna lock in b no matter what b that's true but this one you have to get the four in order. So much harder to get lucky on that. You know, it's B, D, A, C or whatever the order is.

I'm about to ask you a question as an example of what one of these might have been. Oh, God. Get your fingers at the ready, Dave. Well, I've had my machine going under the table for hours. Because Adrian did not give up. He came back for a fourth go on the 23rd of December, which I actually think was a bloody Grinches there at Millionaire HQ, making Chris Tant work on Christmas Eve Eve.

But this was his fastest finger first question on his fourth attempt. Dave, you say, well, I don't know. It's hard without a machine that you've devised and built yourself to do this. DCBA. Okay. Oh, my God, Dave. Oh, my God. That is correct.

I'm not shitting you. Oh, my God. That is correct. I'm not shitting you. Oh, my God. What is happening today? Oh, my God. I'm feeling so weird. What's happening? That's even weirder than Steve Elkington, isn't it? No, Steve Elkington's so weird.

If you're listening, Steve Elkington, Dave doesn't mean you're weird. Although maybe you are. But we really don't know much about you. So I've just gone bang, bang, bang, bang, D, C, B, A to try and get in the heart. That is so weird. Okay. Give it to me. Give it to me.

I'll have a go. Starting with the smallest, put the answers to these sums in their correct order. A, half of 10, B, third of 9, C, quarter of 8, D, fifth of 5. So it's 1, 2, 3, 4. Is that right? DCBA. It took Dave one second, although he hadn't even seen the question. It took Adrian 7.1 seconds, which was the fastest time.

He got it. He did it. I reckon I could have beaten that without. Yeah,, which was the fastest time. He got it. He did it. I reckon I could have beaten that without. Yeah, I think you probably could have, yeah. But that is... But who cares? The fact that you got it... Oh, man, that's wild.

Cheated the system. So he finally got to the hot seat. I watched it last night as well, and it was Chris Tarrant knew that he'd been there so often. He was making jokes like, you've been here more than me and stuff like that. Coming up next, a real loser. And when he said stuff like, oh, geez, you're obviously pretty desperate.

It was kind of full on. But he goes, you're really desperate to be on here. And Adrian replied, some people want to bungee jump. Some people want to paraglide or whatever it is. But this is what I wanted to do. This to him was the equivalent of bungee jumping. This is my cocaine. But he was like, he was hard not to like, just come across as a real sweet guy.

Loves quizzes. Bit of a Welsh accent. Yeah. Beautiful. Very, very soft Welsh accent. Yeah. It was, it was cool. It was, it was fun to watch.

Once he was there, he was doing great. He answered the first 10 questions without needing a lifeline. No, that was cool. It was fun to watch. Once he was there, he was doing great. He answered the first 10 questions without needing a lifeline. That's great. But then on the £64,000 question, he became stumped. This was the question. In the USA and Canada, Labor Day is celebrated in which month? Do you guys know this? May, July, September or November.

I'd try to think in Melbourne what our Labor Day month is and I got it wrong. Yeah, when's Labor Day? I think I can't remember. I looked it up and I'm like, oh, that's not what I would have guessed. Is Labor Day earlier in the year or is it because we have like a run of months where we have public holidays all the time. Is it March?

Yeah, I would have said March. And then there's a big gap. Or is it one of the later ones? It's different in every state in Australia pretty much. Have we just had it? Did we just have it recently? Is it more like September? There's nothing in September.

I never get the public holidays off with my job. You're right, the second Monday of March each year. Okay, yeah, it is March. Okay, but so what are the options for the US-Canada one? So it is May, July, September or November. Well, I've got 4th of July. Yes, and they have the Labor Day weekend they talk about. That's right. I would guess September.

Okay. Jess? What were the other options? Sorry? May, July or November. Okay. Jess? What were the other options, sorry?

May, July or November. So it happens when you've got the eight-hour day, I think, is when it's celebrated. So that's why in Australia states have it at different times of the year. Yeah. But then I read that one of the wars meant that they got changed as well for some reason. Right. But it was funny because on one of the wiki pages, someone in the comments said something like,

I can't believe he was stumped by this. Even if he's not from either of those countries, he should know. Why? I think they were from America or Canada and they thought for some reason that surely it's famous enough. Yes, I'm sure there's people yelling at their iPods at home right now. Remember, we don't live there. Yeah. We could barely name our own.

I mean, I couldn't. I wouldn't have been able to name ours, I don't think. No, but that's the thing. I've never had them off. I've never had public holidays off. Yeah, that's right. That's the other thing. Working at a supermarket or any jobs I've done, you never really get those.

I've always worked retail, customer service or radio and radio doesn't stop, unfortunately. At school, I probably would, you never really get those. Yeah, I've always worked retail, customer service or radio, and radio doesn't stop, unfortunately. At school I probably would have been able to tell you. Yeah, definitely. Because you have them circled in your diary. Yeah. So anyway, he didn't know. He used his 50-50 lifeline, which left only May and September. Oh, that doesn't help me either.

Which he also said he was leaning towards May, but he hadn't said that yet. He called his dad so he hadn't used no uh lifelines and all of a sudden he'd used two on this one but he had a free hit remember because he's on the 32 000 he's risking nothing but he can double his money here he called his dad fellow trivia fan like i said him and his his uh sister and his dad used to do it together. His dad said he thought it was May. Adrian asked how sure he was and his dad replied about 50%. Unhelpful dad.

Which got a laugh in the audience. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, good stuff, dad. And that was sort of the way that Adrian was leaning anyway. So he locked it in. Unfortunately, it was wrong. Wow. Dave was right.

It was September. Good job, Dave. But he left with 32,000 pounds. Good little bunts and burner. That's not bad at all, is it? As they say over there. Nice little bunts. Maybe you should have asked the audience as well.

Yeah, he would regret that in the end, I assume, because you want to hold them back if you think you're right. But if you're going to be wrong, you might as well use them all. Yeah, exactly. But if you've got nothing to lose, you're taking a punt, you're going to double your money, surely I would be going, I'll throw everything at this question and then leave. That makes sense, I guess, in hindsight.

But if you're thinking, I thought it was that, it's kind of confirmed it for me, I'll save this one and maybe I'll get up to the $125,000. So, yeah, so it was funny. The Chris Tarrant reaction was like, oh, you've worked so hard to get here, but that's not too bad. He's like, yeah, it's great. It's amazing.

It's 32,000 pounds. Adrian seemed quite happy with it. That's a lot of money. I mean, obviously I've given up full-time work for the last three years to get here. But anyway. It's not quite three years' wage. In the quiz version of the show, apologies for spoilers,

maybe you want to watch that first or not. I don't know. But they sort of portrayed it. He was pretty shabby. He's like, I needed more money. I'm actually in a bit of money trouble, so I needed some more. But watching him, it didn't seem like that. He seemed quite happy um so now it was over

to his sister diana she made it onto the show on the 24th of march 2001 but didn't have a fast enough finger come on so they're going geez this and and then they're sometimes you know each other's friend in the audience you'd always have a friend sitting in the audience so that the host could sort of have a chat to them as well. So they're starting to notice. They're like, geez, this family's in here a lot. But then she went back through on the 9th of April and made it through to the hot seat, and Adrian was her friend in the audience.

And, you know, it's like, I couldn't find footage of this one. It was geo-blocked or something. But I imagine Trish Jones going, familiar face up there. Hey, you can't stay away. Real funny stuff like that. Oh, you're stalking me. So her question was, for the fastest finger first, if you can get this one, starting with the fewest,

put these in that, or do you want to have a guess, Dave? There's, if you can get this one. Starting with the fewest, put these... Or do you want to have a guess, Dave? There's no way you can get this right again. B, C, A, D. No, that's wrong. Imagine. Imagine that. Just for a second, guys.

So this question was, starting with the fewest, put these national flags in order, the number of stars on each. Oh, my goodness. China, USA, Israel, New Zealand. I would go Israel, New Zealand. What were the other ones? China, USA. China, USA, yeah.

That's correct, yes. She got it in five seconds 38. Wow. Maybe she would have pipped you there. But I had it written in front of me because I blanked on it. Yeah, that's true. Because, you know, you think of the US, you know, that's maximum stars. Yeah, it's 50. And China were, I was like, oh. Because, you know, you think of the US, you know, that's maximum stars.

Yeah, it's 50. And China's got a sprinkling around there. Yeah. So, yeah. New Zealand four, Israel one. So, yeah, maybe you would have been in the ballpark there. No. She got me. She got me.

It's okay, Dave. It's all right, mate. If I could ever have a friend on a show like that, it would be you. I think you'd be, out of everyone I know, you'd be so good at that show. Yeah. And I'd get question one and be like, Caramello, kangaroo. Steve Elkington. Yeah, I'd get a Steve Elkington.

I've never even heard that name. It's just so vast because general knowledge is quite general. Yeah. Which is one of the funny things in the quiz dramatisation, they showed them practising in the lead up to being on. Craig Davids on Monday, what did he do in the song? Whatever that song is.

Met this girl on Monday. Took her for a drink on Tuesday. We were making love by Wednesday. And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday we chill on Sunday. Okay, well, you'd have that one. You've got to rest when you're just banging.

That's how I learnt the days of the week in Spanish. That's right. Mother's girl on Lunes, took her for a drink on Martes. We were making love on Miocoles, and on Jueves, Vienes, Saturday we'd chill on Domingo. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. So she got the first seven questions right without needing a lifeline,

so doing quite well. But it's funny, you get through a lot of questions early and you're not up to big money still. So she was up to the 8,000-pound question when she had to ask the audience, and this is the question. Which of these is not a genuine region of Australia? So for us, this is an easy one. Well, let's find out.

Yeah, I know. So she used the ask the audience. So it's A, Northern Territory, B, South Australia, C, Western Australia, or D, Eastern Territory. D. It's D. That's correct. Yes. She asked the audience. 91% of the audience knew it was D, which is interesting.

So, yeah, for some reason the English audience. We don't have that many. Yeah. Like it feels like you could have a quick look at a map and clock them all, Diane. Well, I guess the. A bit of geography wouldn't kill you, would it? And maybe because I haven't seen it, maybe she was leaning towards it. I'm not sure.

I say she's an idiot. But because 91% of the audience, you go, oh, they're obviously learning about their little colonies in school or something. Isn't that sweet? Because, I mean, I'd really battle with their counties. Of course. Although watching it, one of the questions that came up on the show, the dramatisation of it, they were all stumped on.

I knew it. It was like, which of these four only shares a border with one other county? I'm like, that's Cornwall because it's tucked down there in the... Yeah, nice. Down there on the left. And they didn't know. And they were stumped on the show. But I bloody knew it.

And I'm like, isn't that weird? You'd think in England you'd know that. I wonder how many counties there are in England. I think that's quite a few. Because we've got six states and two territories. Like, it's pretty. See, that's the kind. I would have to.

I'd get my fingers out if that was a question. All right. So what have we got? We've got Tasmania, one. I should be able to remember the six. Yeah, there's only six. And two. Like, that's where it gets you because Northern Territory is in the state.

That's where they get you. They get you there every time. But is Eastern Territory a state? Yes. So she went with the 91%, which was smart because that was correct, and she got through to the £16,000 question, which was, Jess, I reckon you'd know this one, but she needed a laugh line on this one as well. Or is it like a periodic table?

Oh, that's... Like one of the first 12? That would be a really handy one to have. Just in order. I don't know their symbols. What's your other fandom? I don't know. With whom did Dolly Parton sing a duet on the chart hit Islands in the Stream?

Oh, my God. But it's like one that, I mean, I'm no huge Dolly fan and I know this pretty well. Garth Brooks, Kenny Rogers, Vince Gill, or James Ingram? It is James Ingram. Which is interesting. Love your work, James. Kenny. So she called her friend Russell, and I think, again,

she probably was leaning towards it but was playing it safe, and he said that he was confident it was Kenny Rogers. So she locked that in, moved on to the 32,000 question, which was which of these is a type of shark, matron, doctor, nurse, or surgeon? See, they've done a joke one there. Yes, that's right. Yeah, so they'll do that sort of stuff. It's a type of shark.

Yeah. I looked at it and I went. This was a nurse, right? I didn't know this, but that is correct, yes. Brain nurse? Which she locked in. I reckon I would have guessed matron. I'm like, that's somehow, or surgeon?

Nurse? Just doesn't ring any bells to me. But that was correct. Hopefully I'll remember it now. I've just got to think in my head. Oh, those nurses, they're real sharks. But matrons, they're not. They're not.

There we go. Nailed it. Nailed it. Surgeons, not sharks. Not sharks. Okay. Yeah,ailed it. Nailed it. Surgeons, not sharks. Not sharks. Okay. Yeah, got to remember that. Surgeons, not sharks.

Surgeons, not sharks. Just in case I'm ever on a quiz show like this and they ask the same question. And you'll just yell, surgeons, not sharks. Nurse shark. That's not one of the options. What are you? But like her brother, she got stuck again on the $64,000 question, which was, who wrote the nonsense poem poem The Hunting of the Snark?

Does that ring any bells, Dave? That's got to be a Lewis Carroll, right? Oh, my God, that is a Lewis Carroll. He's the nonsense poem guy. Without even the four options, you've gone for it. Well done. The options were G.K. Chesterton, Hilaire Belloc, Edward Lear, or Lewis Carroll. Lewis Carroll's the only one I've heard of.

Her first instinct was Edward Lear, but she also thought it might have been Lewis Carroll. She decided to go with her gut, which they say you never go with your gut. And that's what she locked in, though. And, yeah, it was incorrect. The correct answer was Lewis Carroll. So both Diana and her brother Adrian went home with the same 32,000 pounds. Is there a brother in the crowd yelling, no, no, loser? Someone yelling out no from the crowd is a funny idea.

Or he's loving it because it means she's not one-upping him no more. Sibling rivalry. Suck it! Well, if you believe the dramatisation, which at the start they do say some parts of this have been changed for the drama, but in it she gives a lot of her winnings for him to pay off his debts, which still isn't enough. So I reckon he's probably barracking for her.

So they've both been on, neither could return now. This is their big dream, but they can't go back. So they're a bit shattered, unless they go to Australia or something, which I wonder if they considered. She's like, I'll book a flight for the Eastern Territory. Stupid idiot. You absolute fool. You're not getting anywhere.

And on the way over, I read a book by Edward Lear. Ugh. Stupid idiot. You absolute fool. You're not getting anywhere. And on the way over, I read a book by Edward Lear. Ugh. Stupid idiot. They were keen to somehow, you know, get back on there, maybe to win some more money to help pay off this debt or for whatever reason. They just loved it. Luckily, her husband, Charles, hadn't made it through yet.

He wasn't a big quizzer like them. He's got no interest. It seems like he has no real interest in trivia. Charles, please live out our dream. A big part of any kind of relationship, particularly in like a marriage, is, you know, taking interest in your partner's passions and supporting them through that. You don't have to be equally as passionate, but you've got to be supportive.

Yeah, and that's what he did when she called up for him and registered him on the show, apparently. Hello, I am Charles. Hello, everybody. My name is Charles. I would like to be on the show. Thank you. My wife is

beautiful. He just doesn't compliment her enough. She has to do it herself. In character Hello Is that convincing Dave if I called you? So convincing Hello Dave Charles, is that you?

Sorry Sorry, ready? He actually first got in. She was obviously trying for both of them, or if that's even true. I mean, again, that was on the quiz dramatisation that she called up for him. But he got in but didn't have a fast enough finger before she even got through for her hot seat go on the 27th of January. But then they also went on together on a special couples episode on the 24th of March. Is this before his own solo appearance? Before both of them made it to the hot seat, yeah.

But both of their fingers together were still not fast enough to get through that hot seat. Yeah. But both of their fingers together were still not fast enough to get through that hot seat. But he made it again on what was due to the episode that was due to air on the 15th of September that was filmed on the 9th of September. And I already told you, but the filming goes through to the 10th of September because he was on still at the end of the episode. So he practiced 20 minutes a day on the fastest finger first machine that his brother-in-law has made.

Wasn't a big quiz fan, but was an intelligent guy. Maybe didn't necessarily have the love of the trivia. Was smart, but those things are probably not the same, right? Yeah. Yeah, I'm smart. Yeah, IQ is not the same as knowing trivia. Yeah. Necessarily.

And that's what he's maintained since. Yeah. Thanks for neither of you rolling your eyes when I said I was smart. That means a lot to me. Thank you. Of course you're smart, Bob. Hey. Stop ruffling my hair. Hey. Hey, come on. Hey, little bug. Come on, Of course you're smart, Bop. Hey! Stop ruffling my hair!

Hey! Hey, car! Hey, little bug! You alright? Car! Anyone who got 69 on the enters, that's a nice level of intelligence. It's hard to get there. Yeah, yeah. Hard to pull that off. Well, when you do all art subjects, it's surprisingly easy.

But you had to do some maths to make sure you got 69. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Like I say, that's surprisingly easy. But you had to do some maths to make sure you got 69. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Like I say, that's top third. So I'm going to walk you through how things went down on the show. And I figure while we're doing it, why not go through all his questions at the same time? I think that's a bit of fun.

That way I can tell you when, because I've watched the replay. It took a while for the footage to come out, I should say, when they ended up pulling the episode. It was meant to go out on the 15th. Oh, before it aired. But it never aired. They put it out since there is conjecture about how they've boosted up the sound of coughs and those sort of things.

Enhance. Enhance, yeah, to make it seem maybe worse than it was or whatever. But let's talk it through. Love this. Obviously you two are at a disadvantage. When this episode was filmed, you were both 11 and I was in England, so it's going to be harder for you than it was for a 37-year-old Englishman. Interesting.

But together we would have been 22. Yeah. That's true. Dave, you've got a real advantage, although I think Jess would know this one too, but it's a real playing into your... Lock in Hercule Poirot. Oh, my God. Yes.

You're kidding. Well, not exactly, but it is... I'm imagining B, Poirot. But it is a Poirot-related question. Yes. Belgian. You are ridiculous. But it is a Poirot-related question. Yes. Belgian. You are ridiculous. But it's an order thing, so you've got to put these words in the order they occur

in the title of the Agatha Christie thriller, Nile on Death the. Death on the Nile. So I think you probably would have beaten Charles here. His time was 3.97 seconds. Pretty quick still. That was quick. Well, you know, under the pressure of it all. Yeah, because it's so easy to sit here and be like,

I'll be so quick on the pressure. You're sitting on a buzzing chair. Not everyone got this right. I think 70% or 80% of them got it. Nile the death on. Yeah, what other order did you go? The, I reckon. You're going real quick here. The stands out as the first death on. Yeah, what other order can you go? The, the. I reckon you're going real quick here.

The stands out as the first word there. Yeah, maybe. Oh, yeah. Or maybe people are literally doing what I said before and just going bang, bang, bang, bang. Yeah, I'll try your luck. Yeah. I'm not that fast.

The death on Nile. So I'm just going to have a stab. So, yeah, so he gets through CBDA. You know how he got it through. Then he got through the first five questions without much drama. A thousand pounds. Here's the question. On which of these would you air laundry?

And this is what we were talking about before, the kind of joke-ish ones. A clothes dog, a clothes horse, a clothes rabbit, or a clothes pig. Clothes pig. I agree. Look it in. Look in D, clothes pig. Clothes pig. Come on, clothes pig. Chris is like like do you want to read the question again no no clothes pig i know what i call one my one at home

uh yeah let me that's the kind of thing you go you find this obscure novelty thing it's a in the shape of a pig this is what i'd draw my clothes on. You could probably make, but no one's getting that wrong. It's of course clothes horse. I know you guys have been very funny. Alright, sorry. Please take this seriously. Sorry, Dan. That was for £100. We're having a bit of fun. We've got two sandwiches. So that's the first

question. That's the first question. We're going out for like a nice dinner together. £100. That's great. It's like $250. It was when I was in the UK that's great. All right, mate. How nice is it? It's like 250 bucks. Yeah. It's not bad. It was when I was in the UK the first time. I think it was probably about 200 bucks now.

That's not bad. That's not bad. 100 bucks each. That's a nice dinner. Let's have dinner and a couple of cocktails. Let's share garlic bread. What do you reckon? Please.

For the table? Treat ourselves. Chips for the table? Chips for the table? Love to break garlic bread. By the way, can we have chips for the table with lunch today? Oh, fantastic suggestion. What were you thinking about? Oh, that suggestion. Or are you thinking about it?

Oh, that doesn't bode well for how enthralling this report is. Honestly, it's super interesting. It's really interesting. Because I am a big quiz fan. Loved Who Wants to Be a Millionaire back in the day. But I haven't seen the dramatisation. I don't know the story. So this is cool.

Question two for 200 pounds. What name is given to a person who is against increasing the powers of the European Union? Prick. Eurosceptic, Eurostar, Eurotrash or Eurovision? Eurostar, I believe. Skeptic. Eurosceptic is correct. I'm sorry, yeah, we're taking it seriously.

No, we're not. That was my joke answer. I think Eurovision, another little bit of a joke answer. So they have a bit of fun in the early years. See, what Eurovision actually is is a singing competition. So that's a bit of fun. That's a bit of fun. I think that that's a star. Yeah, I think that's a star. Which is in that, I think, that wasn't

too far away from making the block topics. I think that was in the vote. And I think people always it's a pretty popular topic because Australia's in the Eurovision as well, of course. I think it loses votes in America because maybe they're less aware of what it is. Big thing in Europe and Australia for some reason.

Question three for £300. What is butterscotch? Shortbread, pavement game, garden flower or brittle toffee? Brittle toffee. Correct. Yum. For £500, which of these is the nickname for a famous Scottish army regiment? Black Cat, Black Widow, Black Sea or Black Watch?

Black Cat, Black Widow, Black Sea or Black Watch? Black Watch. Yeah. Correct. But, like, I couldn't tell with any confidence. Exactly. But, obviously, for him that would have been quite straightforward. Yeah, for sure.

For 1,000 pounds, first safe point, the Normans who invaded and conquered England in 1066 spoke which language? I wonder if you know this without... I feel like this is one I would have known for some reason. Probably French. It is French. Correct. I knew that one.

Yeah. Other options were German, Norwegian or Danish. Genuinely surprised. Do you know where I learnt that? Where in time is calm in San Diego Oh great See people say don't give kids too much screen time I learnt a lot from that game

And probably from The Simpsons too Yeah Most trivia I know is from The Simpsons Yeah so honestly the more screen time the better Screen time? Scream time. More scream time. Cut to Dave just screaming in their face.

Scream back at me. Scream time. Scream at daddy. Or it's you showing them the 1996 film Scream. It's scream time. What's your favourite scary movie, kiddo? Mine's The Scientist.

So question. So we're at the safe level. Congratulations, Jess. We did it. We're going home. So you and the major have all made it to at least 1,000 pounds. How fancy is our dinner going to be now? Like too fancy.

Yeah, it'd be too much. Like they're bringing out food I've never even heard of. Yeah. You're shouting the bar. Yeah, it'd be too much. Like they're bringing out food I've never even heard of. Yeah. You're shouting the bar. Yeah, fine. I guess somehow, for some reason they've paid us a tab for this place. We can't cash it out. We can't go multiple times. It's got to

be in the one night. One sitting, so I find it fuck. Get a bottle of Beaujolais for the room. Yeah. Is that a drink? Is that enough? Is that a drink? Is that enough? Probably. It sounds fancy. That's more than our tab? Okay, let's bring that back a bit then. Yeah. Is that a drink? Is that enough? Is that a drink? Is that enough? Probably. It sounds fancy. That's more than our tab? Okay, let's bring that back a bit then. Chicken nuggets for the room.

So can I just say at this stage, have we heard any coughing? I don't know. There's no coughing. Or are you going to say that later? No, I'll go through it as I watched it. And I see it a little bit different from maybe how it's portrayed. Some of the coughs, I'm like, I'm not, they're like, clearly this was a cough.

I'm like, that didn't seem like it fully linked up. Is the idea of the cough to give away an answer? Yes. So supposedly they, but they haven't, supposedly haven't set up this scheme yet. This is day one. Oh, okay. They come up with the scheme supposedly after.

Because I was just thinking like if it's the first question and they're coughing on beer, you'd be like, I fucking know that idiot. Yeah, yeah. Shut up. Yeah, that would be frustrating. All right. You're yelling out, yes.

All right. That's easy. I know it's Blackwatch. Thanks for trusting me. I'm in the army. I know that better than you. Shut up, Diane. Sorry about that, Chris.

Can we get her a lozenge? Jesus. Just my wife. I get her name wrong to annoy her. Diane. Diane. Cop that. Yuck.

So question six for 2,000 pounds. He needed a lifeline. I reckon you would too. Well, come on. The English version of this, I think, he needed a lifeline. I reckon you would too. Well, come on. The English version of this, I think, like the Australian version of this, we probably would maybe know. Actually, I probably wouldn't because it would be about home and away.

Maybe in the 90s, I don't know. Are we getting Coronation Street? Yes. Jeez, that's good. Yeah, you're incredible. In Coronation Street, who is Audrey's daughter? Any ideas? No. Janice, Gail, Linda or Sally?

Sally. He laughed. He's like, I've never seen that show. He's like, maybe it's on TV sometimes. So Audrey's daughter. Yes. Generationally, there's no way for me that Audrey is having a Gail. Yeah. It's Linda or Sally. What was B?

Janice, Gail, Linda or Sally. They're older than Audrey names. Linda or Sally. I know Audrey's a classic name, but when it comes around. Sally. I or Sally. What was B? Janice, Gail, Linda or Sally. They're older than Audrey names. Linda or Sally. I know Audrey's a classic name, but when it comes around. Sally. I say Sally. I said that before and you didn't react. Linda.

I mean, we don't know if Audrey is, maybe she's really old. You know, she might be a nana. It can also be Janice, Gail. So do you want the ask the audience result? Yes. Because it's quite helpful. Yes, I do. 89% said Gail.

Gail. Oh, my theory did not hold up. So he locked in Gail, went with the audience. Clever use of that question, I guess. Was the whole audience coughing? Who reckons me? Cough, cough, cough, cough. He was looking good to the first five.

Now he's down one lifeline. He burns another lifeline on question seven for 4,000 pound. The River Foyle is found in which part of the United Kingdom? England, Scotland, Northern Ireland or Wales? Another one that's probably trickier for us. The River Foyle. Foyle. Foyle. Does that sound.... River Foyle. Foyle.

What's Foyle's War? That was like an ABC sort of program. Is it World War 1 show? It's like a guy solving crimes around the war. That sounds like a show that fits right on ABC.

That feels like a robots made that. That's big Saturday night viewing. right on ABC. Yeah, yeah, honestly. That feels like a robot's made that. That's big Saturday night viewing. That's amazing. They've got crime-solving matched with a world war. That could not be any more ABC. Probably a BBC show, which is what a lot of those ABC shows are. So options are again?

England, Scotland, Northern Ireland or Wales? Wales. So he didn't know. He phoned a friend. Do you want to go with his phone a friend? Gerald? Do you trust Gerald? I'm going to just guess Northern Ireland, but then what does Gerald say? Well, you're doing better now because you haven't burned a lifeline,

but you got the question right. He also says Northern Ireland. Your team is going great. This dinner is getting more and more elaborate. More Beaujolais. Apologies for the people yelling at their iPod. Beaujolais is a colour or whatever. That's a soft purple.

More Beaujolais. We've just bought a colour. I'm in the fanciest restaurant. They're going, okay. You're ordering a colour? Okay, I'll bring it out. They call you bluff. So his friend Gerald

says I'm 99% sure that it's Northern Ireland. He went with that, got the 4,000 pounds and then that sound went off. A goat. Which means he has to come back the next show.

He's got one lifeline up his sleeve, the 50-50, and he's on 4,000 pounds. So the production team's going, well, he won't last much longer than this. He hasn't gone too well. He's burnt a couple of lifelines early. He didn't know where foil was. At the end of the episode,

Chris Tarrant reads out the names who are going to appear on the next episode. For the fastest finger first. Diana recognises one of these names. Tecwen Wittock. Tecwen. That's a name you remember. That's good.

A Welsh name, I assume. He's a Welshman. A Welsh university lecturer. She knew his name as he was a fellow quizzer from the quizzing community. One that her brother Adrian had actually helped mentor. Apparently Witok noticed that Adrian had been on the show multiple times. Like, oh, this guy keeps coming up. He figured out who he was.

He went over to his place. What? And he asked for help. He's like, how do you get on? I like quizzes. I'd love to get on. And Adrian, I think maybe was a bit flattered by this or something, and he helped mentor him, took it quite seriously.

And, yeah, so that's why Diana, and I think he even asked Diana to help. She never met him, only spoke to him on the phone, but she recognised his name. She called him that night uh for about five minutes it's unclear like the two sides say the conversation was about something different the show and the prosecution they say that this phone call was setting up the the system the coughing system uh diana says she knew him and she mentored him. She called him to congratulate him on making it through to the show. Yeah, hey, I heard you're going to be on the show.

That's cool. Which is believable. Five minutes. And the opposition would say, I don't know, what do you call it? The defence would say, you reckon they set up a whole coughing system in a five-minute phone call? Yeah, that seems pretty elaborate. So, yeah, that's an interesting point,

but that is how supposedly it was set up. The following day, Charles fronts up again, wearing the same polo shirt, beautiful polo shirt. Same Armani polio. Polio. Polio. Yeah, it was a while ago. They hadn't had the cure for polio shirts yet.

But, yeah, it was just like a real 90s-looking polo, patches of blue and red and whatever. And our man Matthew McFadden, he wears the same one in the show. Oh, they got it for him. So I watched it. I'm like, that's a fun shirt. And it was the exact same shirt. I'm like, that is fantastic.

Love that eye for detail. Yeah, it's very important. Something that the prosecution said was a bit weird. Diana didn't, she said later, she's like, I called him because I know him, but she didn't talk to him when they saw each other there. It was like they didn't communicate with each other. Maybe that's fair enough.

He's about to do the fastest finger first. What, is she supposed to wave from the audience? Yeah. Hey, hey. It's me enough. He's about to do the fastest finger first. What, is she supposed to wave from the audience? Yes. Hey, hey. It's me, Diana. We spoke on the phone last night. Taekwoon. Taekwoon.

So, yeah. So I sort of I can see why they think that's a bit weird, but I can also see why she wouldn't necessarily do that. They're also slightly awkward people too, it should be said. They come across as lovely to me. Watching more and more, I mean, you see more of the major. And I'm like, I just like him. I want him to be innocent.

But anyway, I went from thinking he was to wasn't and backwards and forwards the whole way through. And still I'm unsure, but let's talk it out. So Charles fronts up again in the same shirt. That doesn't matter, but anyway. So he says he's got a new strategy and a new sub-strategy, which Chris Tarrant sort of joked with the whole way through. He's like, well, what are we working with now, the sub-strategy or the strategy?

And he said part of it was he was going to try and believe in himself more. He talked himself out of things, and that's why he burnt some of his lifelines too early. He also said he's going to read them out and really think about them. He's going to read out all the options, go through them all, what the prosecution says. He's reading them out to give the cougher a chance to cough on the confirm or whatever.

So that's how it's set up. Yeah. At this point, no one knows that, obviously, in the production. Sure. And the coffer, it's just Tequin or Diana's also, there's a second coffer on the Grassy Knoll? That does. The plan, supposedly, is just for Tequin to be the coffer.

There's no footage of Tequin coughing. Okay. They believe the mic over the fastest finger first people was the mic that was picking up these coughs. And they assume it was Tequin.

That's what they suggest. You do see, I'll talk about it, Diana does have a cough at one point as well, which you do see because there's always a camera on her. All right, so we're up to the $8,000 question, I think, £8,000 question, sorry, which was, who was the second husband of Jacqueline Kennedy? You know, another area of expertise for Dave because he did a report about it.

His name is Onassis and his first name is, it's an absolute ripper of a name. Yeah, it is. But, I mean, that's enough because the options are, what do you want to try and remember? I'm just trying to think because he's a Greek shipping magnate. Can I just ask, do they put Onassis at the end of all of these names? No. Oh, my God.

So. That's quite easy then. What does it start with? A. Aristotle. Yes. Well done. So it's Adnan Khashoggi, Ronald Reagan, Aristotle Onassis, or Rupert Murdoch.

And he goes straight away. He's like, you know, I know it wasn't Reagan, it wasn't Murdoch. He's like, I think it was Aristotle Onassis. He said that pretty much straight away. He repeats it. When he repeats Aristotle Onassis, there is a cough that can be heard, which seems to – Is it straight away or is there a pause and a cough? There's a pause and a cough.

Sometimes there's different levels of pauses before the coughs, and when there's a long pause, I'm like, they're saying that that's a confirmation, but that was quite a long gap. And what is there, like 150 people, 200 people in the crowd in a semicircle watching? People do cough. Yeah, that's right. And what I say later, there was quite a few more coughs than the ones that they allege were the sus coughs. And that question, that's not a very tricky question.

Jess and I were both bang on that one. Yeah, and he said straight away that's what he thought it was. But if it ended there, I don't think we'd be talking about it now. I think if it ended in multiple questions time, we wouldn't be talking about it. It was really at the point. Okay, okay. So he gets it right, locks that in, and he keeps moving.

It's only in hindsight you go back and look at the whole thing and go, oh, was that a sus cough there? So he's up to the 16,000-pound question, which is, Emmental, or Emmental maybe, is a cheese from which country? France, Italy, Netherlands, or Switzerland? How do you spell that? E-double-M-E-N-T-H-A-L. He talks and he's like, I've had this cheese a lot.

I think it's Switzerland. I've had this cheese. I'm just trying to picture it. Does it say made in Switzerland on it? I'm trying to picture the cheese is what he's saying. He reads out all the options again. There's no cough. As in the contestant reads out this?

Yes. So that's just it. But I'm sure people do that. Yeah, because they used to drag the thing out, like I said, for the whole hour. And I think Eddie even would say it on the Australian one. He's like, read them out. See if any of them, it sparks anything in you. So it definitely is a tactic that people do use, I'm sure.

France, Italy, Netherlands, Switzerland. It's not French or Italian. This is me playing along. Well, that's true. You're going to rule out one more and you got it. Let's lock in Switzerland. Yes, pop, you are on fire. And so is the major who also locked in Switzerland.

And no one coughed. No one coughed. So that means he moves on to the £32,000 question. If we do it, I'll just fart. Yeah, people go, how does she fart on command?

That's ridiculous. And then there'd be all these doctors in court going, it's not possible. We've inspected her bowels and there's no way she can control them like that. I call my next witness, Mr. Methane. Hello, Mr. Methane. Farts on cue.

Is it possible? Yes, and I will now fart the Star Stangled Banner. I will now fart the Splash Mountain Anthem. So now it goes on to the £32,000 question. Let's lock in, Jess. This is going to be a guaranteed great night out. We win £32,000. This one, I reckon this is the kind of thing that if you were older at the time,

you would know, but I think it might be a tough one. Who had a – or maybe you were the perfect age for this, actually. Who had a hit UK album with Born To Do It released in 2000? That's Craig David. Okay. The options are Coldplay, Top Loader, A1 or Craig David. Born To Do It. Walking Away and Seven Days is on that album.

We had it. Oh, there you go. So he made a joke. He's like, Top Loader, that's part of a rifle. So I don't think it's that. He's like, I'm thinking it's A1. Just got an inkling it's A1. And he also said, I've never heard of Craig David.

I think it's A1. But he's unsure. And he asked to use the 50-50, which takes out Coldplay and Top Loader, leaving A1, which is what he was leaning towards. Yeah. And Craig Day, and he's like, I think it's A1. Spends a lot of time thinking about this one. And his wife, Diana, coughs.

She seems to look down to the pit where the fastest finger people were. And obviously there's no cough coming from down there, potentially because he doesn't know the answer himself. So the prosecution argues she went off plan and coughed here to help. She stepped in. Yeah. She was like, fucking answer a phone. Cough!

So she coughs a couple of times, and it looked, because you can see her doing it, it does look a bit fake, but also it's not like right. It's in gaps. It's in pauses. So I'm like, to me, how much have they planned out this cough? If you cough in like three or four seconds after saying Craig David, that is telling me that it's the last one I said or something?

It seems like there's a. And does she cough after he says Craig David? Is that what? But he says them, but he says A1 or Craig David cough. Craig David. You know, it's like quite a... Craig David! To me it seemed like a long gap.

So I'm like, I don't know. I wouldn't have... Craig David! Excuse me. Excuse me. Allergies. I've got the Craig Davids again. Haven't taken my Claritin.

Craig David. To me, it didn't seem that sus, but there are articles saying she was clearly pointing him towards Craig David. And maybe it was because after leaning towards A1 the whole time, he changed his mind to Craig David at the last second, saying he's normally wrong when he plays at home. About 80% of the time I'm wrong. So I'm going with the one I don't think it is.

Okay. So he's not trusting his gut like you said. This is the sub plan? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what my Chris said. What are we under the sub strategy now or whatever? And so that's ended up being what he locked in,

which was the correct answer as Dave already said. Yes, we are. We're all the way through. We've done it. Thanks to your Swiss and your Northern Ireland. He later said in court and elsewhere, he's like, he changed his mind because when he said, I think I'm going to lock in A1, he heard the crowd gasp. He's like, all right, well, I don't think it's that.

And that's why he changes it. That's what he says. Listening back, I don't know if it was that clear there was a gasp, but it does sound like they really bumped up the sound of the coughs and maybe not anything else. Well, when I was watching The Millionaire be recorded, so what you do here in Australia. Oh, you were the friend in the audience.

I was a friend in the audience. Oh, that's sick. Which I'm sure I've told this story before. I think so. So anyway, so it was the night before I was out at the comedy festival after party. So I was out until like 6 a.m.m or something and then you've got to be there at nine or something and then but my dad goes in way earlier to do a rehearsal they talk you through and then he calls me up and says i'm through now i had to say what you do for a job so i said you're

a comedian and i said and i was on the phone just like dad you can't say that eddie will ask me to tell a joke and i just can't do that. Eddie would be a nightmare. Oh, you're a comedian. Yeah, I was like, seriously, just say that I'm a student. Or say anything like that. And I was like, oh. And then I could hear my dad being like, oh, okay, sorry.

And I feel bad about this now. Because you're stressing him out. I'm stressing him out on the day. And he calls me back half an hour and goes, don't worry. I spoke to a producer. I filled out a form again. And I got my form back and I said you're a comedian but then I wrote in brackets

please don't ask him to tell a joke and I was like that is a red rag to a bull dad that is a red oh my god so I was in there

all day like freaking out being like what do I say he had a chance to just write shoot it he made it worse

I'm like oh dad and then he's a comedian but he's very shy. Yeah, but I don't want to, again, stress him out because he's looking forward to this big shot. And when my dad, he's very good with general knowledge. We'd watch at home and he gets them all the questions right. So I'm like, I don't want to take away dad's big opportunity.

But then he gets up because in, so to explain. If he'd be on the classic format, he would have killed it. Yeah, but so in the Australian format, which I did look up, does seem to be an Australian-centric thing. The hot seat one. Hot seat, you have six people and the order is decided before you go up and then you can pass and hope to come back around. So if someone gets it wrong, the top prize money drops down.

You can pass once. Yeah. But the next person can't pass. So if you're passed too, you've got to have a crack. You've got to have a crack. And my dad looked back and said, I don't think I can get back. So he got one question right and then Eddie said, oh, your son David's in the crowd.

G'day, David. And I gave us a wave and he goes, we'll have a chat to you in a second. And I was thinking, no, no, no, no. Dad gets this next question, decides, he says, I don't know the answer to this but I'm going to have a punt because i'm not going to be able to get back there's not enough questions and passes he gets it wrong and i'm like being i was like i'm off the hook i'm like cheering yeah i didn't have to bad son so i feel bad i didn't have to do my awkward awkward joke um so sorry daddy realistic i know sometimes you do listen if he's listening to an episode, sure.

It's going to be this one. Who wants to be in it? I know. But, yeah, my dad's very – He's yelling at his iPod the whole way through all the small details. But it's mostly, I'm disappointed in you, David. It's mostly that. Sorry I cheered, but I was so nervous to try and tell a joke on TV.

Because how do you answer that question, tell us a joke? Is that classic? Oh, it's impossible. You're a comedian, are you? You're like, oh, well, okay, well, I've got a story. I've got a premise, you know, anyway. What do you want, a knock-knock joke? Yeah.

Depends on the person. Sometimes it's somebody I don't really like. And so they're like, oh, you're here, but tell us a joke. And I say, oh, you can't afford me. That's fun. That would have been good. Yeah, sorry, I lost the clock. You can't afford me.

You're going to need more than a million dollars, Eddie. But the other thing I remember from happening that day is because they record six in a day. Wow. Big day. Wow. And if you go and support someone, you've got to go watch all of them. And they just move you around in the crowd

to try and make the audience look a bit different. And I was watching one episode. That's fucked. And the guy next to me was just whispering the answers to me. I didn't know him, but I'm like, this looks bad. I remember one of the questions was, in Die Hard, what is the name of Bruce Willis' character? He was like, John McClane.

I'm like, I don't know you. I don't know you, but I know the answer. You don't have to tell me. I know that one. Also, I know the answer, so you're not super clever, but also it's going to look like you're giving away the answers. Yeah, shut up. Do you have a photo or would you be able to get a screenshot

of you in the audience? Oh, maybe because I feel like at the time feel that'd be so good to post on the on on instagram at the time i think people were watching at home like on fact because you know it is months later yeah maybe take me like took a photo of the screen tag me on facebook so maybe that'd be great if you get that that's so cool i yeah you probably have told that story it's ringing some bells but i. Yeah, but it is the story of me being the worst son, being like, I'm off the hook, yeah. Thank God. But Dad didn't win.

Thank God Dad lost. I love it. I remember one time, like, Eddie, you know, he's like, he's a sports journalist, but I think he rates himself as a bit of a funny guy as well. He's done a lot of radio and all that sort of stuff. But he's also like, but he's not funny and he's usually kind of mean. Right. You know, like, he's usually, like, he's a bit lot of radio and all that sort of stuff. But he's also like, but he's not funny and he's usually kind of mean. Right.

You know, like he's usually, like he's a bit snarky and it's like, ugh. So what are we up to here? So he changes his answer at the last minute to Craig David. He gets it right. He says it's because of a gasp. Others say it's because of a cough from Diana. others say it's because of a cough from Diana. They also say that she sort of looks up at the monitor and the live feed is doing a live cut, a live switch.

So it was almost like she was looking up to see when she wasn't on screen, naively thinking that meant she wasn't being recorded. And that's when she coughed, but there was obviously a camera on her and they had that. So that's what they argue. She's like, I wasn't looking at that at all i was trying to look up to see his face because she was in the crowd behind you're always behind him so you can't see their face so she's like no i was just trying to look at his i kept looking at the monitor to see his face also to see when i love him and i'm

actually a big fan of his face yeah and i and i'm a big quizzer and I'm stressing out for my partner, who I love. Who I love, and I love looking at his little face. Also, if there is a camera on you, and there's a chance that you could be on TV at any moment, you probably are thinking about that quite a bit. Yeah. Because you really need to pick your nose. Or you wouldn't do something like a cough.

Yeah, that's true. Oh, I'm on now, cough. Yeah, that makes sense as well. It just makes you a little bit more self-conscious that, oh, I could be, especially at the time, tens of millions of people. Yeah. And you know that feeling of needing to cough? Yeah. Like, you know, there'll be a shoot on downstairs here at different times

and I'm going, oh, this is a good take. And I'm holding a boom or something going. Please don't do it. Jess is killing it in this infomercial or whatever we're filming. I always knew I'd done a good take if I could, because you can't see through the lights and so on. I couldn't see details of your face, but I could see if you threw a shuckers. I was like, we got it.

We got it. I don't throw out a shuckers lightly. Just throw it up a shuckers. We are done for the day. Woo. I also learned throw out a shuck as lightly. Directors, throw it up a shuck as we are done for the day. Woo! I also learnt to read different ways Evan says okay. Yeah. There's a certain okay that I'm like, yeah, we got it.

Evan's definitely very readable, I think. But the shuck is, I was like, we've done it. We're painting a pretty glamorous picture. I'm directing Holding the Boom. Yeah, it's a pretty big production. Jess is here. It's a big production. So we're on to the £64,000 question.

Like his brother-in-law and his wife, he's up to the free hit question, basically. It's a sports question, and this is it. I didn't know it. I'd be interested to see if either of you know. Gentlemen versus players was an annual match between amateurs and professionals of which sport? Lawn tennis, so specific, rugby union, polo, or cricket? Gentlemen versus players.

Yeah, they're all kind of, you know, posh gentlemanly kind of games. So lawn tennis. Rugby union. Rugby. Polo or cricket. I reckon Gaddy J from the UK might be yelling his iPod for this one. I would have guessed cricket because the difference, I think I would guess a team game because tennis,

like a professional would just wipe the court with an action. That's true, yes. Absolutely destroy them. Yeah. And I'm thinking it's not going to be rugby union because as a non-professional, do you want to go up against the pros? Yeah, that's right. You probably could get injured.

You'll die. That's a good point. Polo? Polo. I was thinking polo or cricket, but I reckon it's cricket. It feels like a real fine line between the amateurs and professionals in polo. So few people would play it.

They're all rich people already. They're all in the same circles. But with cricket, it i feel like and there is like the different levels like it's is it county players versus yeah the clubs below that or is it like you know first class yes yeah yeah i'd say cricket you also told us gary jay would be yeah that was a little bit of a clue sorry um uh well cricket is the correct name this is what this out when he says something like Mary J. would be into it. Yeah, that was a bit of a clue, sorry. Cricket is the correct answer. This is how it went. He says something like, it could be any of them,

but I think it's cricket. That's what he said straight off the bat, which got a little cough. Cricket bat? He said it might be cricket right off the bat, the cricket bat. So that got a little cough. Little cough. He then went through all of them again. And when he said cricket again, there was another cough.

And then he locked it in, which was correct. So that seems pretty sus so far. It gets more obvious. Because I think, again, whenever he's sort of, it's almost like these ones, if it is happening, it's them confirming what he already knows. Yeah. But later it seemed like it comes across as maybe being dodgier. Okay.

So he locks in cricket, as you two did. So you're now on to the £125,000 question. Honestly, at this point, it's too much. Oh, my goodness. Do we have to go out for dinner? We've bought shares of the restaurant. Yeah. And people do say, you know, if he pulled out at one of these levels,

probably would never have cottoned on to him. Yeah. Even up to maybe the half a million. But anyway, so £125,000 question. The Ambassadors in the National Gallery is a painting by which artist? The Ambassadors in the National Gallery is a painting by which artist? The Ambassadors in the National Gallery. So the painting's called The Ambassadors and it's housed in the National Gallery. Oh, sorry.

Yeah, I needed that one. So Van Eyck, Holbein, Michelangelo or Rembrandt? I think Rembrandt was the, I think maybe the guy who sang the theme for Friends. Yes. Him and his brother. Yeah. Great duo. So that's a joke answer.

So I'd rule that one out. It's good that even at the higher levels they have a joke one. The British have a great sense of humour. I would be thinking not Rembrandt or Michelangelo. Right, because they're sort of the bigger names and maybe you'd... I was also just thinking they're way older. And how long have we had ambassadors for? Yeah, great.

Like, is this just some dudes? Is that the payday? What's the payday? What was option B? Holbein. H-O-L-B-E-I-N. Holbein. Holbein.

Holbein. I think. I'm going to guess Van Eyck. Is it Van Eyck? Is that A? A is Van Eyck. Yep. Dave, do you want to overrule here?

Sorry, Mike? Dave? Oh, not overrule. Do you want to throw anything into the hat? It's called the ambassadors. It's called the ambassadors. Right. I think if we were playing like this

and I was Chris Tarrant there would have been a scandal as well. Are you sure? Are you sure about that? Are you sure you don't want to change your answer? Chris Tarrant and the host, they don't see the answers until something's locked in. He doesn't know either.

So people are trying to read the face, unless Chris Tarrant already knows the answer. Because sometimes there is a tell on him as well, and I think maybe the major even said there was, maybe he was trying to read him and I don't know if he could. So the hosts don't know if that's true or not. No, they don't know until an answer's locked in. Otherwise, I guess they're worried that they'd give up.

Okay. Once it's locked in, that's how they sort of do the dramatic. Yes. We come back after the break. Okay. Yeah. Which he did on two different stages in this episode. You couldn't decide between A and B.

You've locked in B. It is decide between A and B. You've locked in B. It is one of A and B. Yes. We'll find out which one after the break. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the major was like, tell me you're not going to a break. Don't go to a break.

We're going to a break. No, not a break. I think I would say I'd rule out Michelangelo because there's not many Michelangelos. Yes. Not many have survived. Rembrandt. There's a few Rembrandts.

Yeah, there's quite, I think there's a few hundred of those out there. But I don't know Holbein's work. The National Gallery. Well, the major didn't know Craig David's work. That's true. Didn't stop him locking it in. I'm trying to read, Matt. I'm trying to see if he has a tell.

Now, let me just say, is it A, Van Eyck? B? B. I don't know. I actually was leaning towards Holbein because I don't know. And also I was thinking their National Gallery. Do they have lots of national work? Where is Holbein from?

So he seemed to go straight for Holbein. He said, I've seen this. I've been there. I've seen this painting. I think it's Holbein. But there seemed to be coughs. It could be interpreted as confirming the answer again. I think these ones, again, not that straightforward. And he did go straight for Holbein, but there seemed to be coughs. It could be interpreted as confirming the answer again. I think these ones, again, not that straightforward,

and he did go straight for Holbein. It took a while, but he eventually locked it in, moved on to the 250,000-pound question. So there was no coughs? There were coughs that people argued were locking it in. I can't even remember this one, but I feel like this one wasn't super sus. Like, if they were all like this, I can't even remember this one. But I feel like this one wasn't super sus. Like, if they were all like this, I don't

think, again, I don't think there'd be a scandal, probably. He's a German painter, so my theory had nothing. Well, they very closely related the Germans and the English. So we're up to the quarter of a million pound question. Oh my god, that's half a million

of our dollars. Surely we're just splitting it at that point and, question. Oh, my God. That's half a million of our dollars. Surely we're just splitting it at that point and buying houses. Nah. Big dinner. Still dinner. Double the caviar rations. Dave, we can just go out for dinner. If that's what you really want, we can just go.

I'd love to. Imagine how many bottles of Beaujolais you could get. So what type of garment is an Anthony Eden? Fashion. I know both of you, well, Dave especially is into fashion, Jess to a lesser extent. I mean, you know, fashion. Oh, I know fashion.

An Anthony Eden. An Anthony Eden. Is it who I believe was a Prime Minister of the UK at some point? It's going to be a hat. Is it an overcoat, hat, shoe, or tie? It's going to be a hat. I immediately thought shoe. Okay.

But hat. Hat. All right, locking in hat, you are correct. You have just won 250,000 pounds. When there's nothing at stake, it's so easy, isn't it? Yeah, like you're probably not gambling because all of these you're risking to go back to 32,000.

So he again zeroed straight into hat. Then there were some coughs seemingly confirming that. Honestly, just let him go. He would have been fine. Yeah, I know. It does feel like stop making it look sus. So he locked it in, went on to the half a million pound question, saying he landed in Chris's town and said, I'm possessed,

which was weird. But anyway. That is such a weird comment. He said, I think it was hat. And then his coffee's like, yeah, I think it was the hat he wore, that sort of high hat. So he did seem to know that one. And I reckon if he quit here, I really think he would have just,

he would have won a quarter of a million and we would not be talking about him. He wouldn't be, you know, well-known. He just would have lived a more comfortable, a much better life. I'll say that because I'll talk about it soon. But, yeah, this doesn't turn out well for him. So the half a million pound question. Baron Houseman is best known for his planning of which city?

Feels like Dave might be a chance on this. Baron Houseman. I would have had no idea. Is it House City? I say this for every question. Dave might have an idea. Yeah. I just believe he knows everything.

And it's coming across really sexist. Jess, tiny brain, has no idea. Well, what you've got to understand is. No, it's just that I'm an idiot. No, it's not that you're an idiot. It's that Dave, in my head, like anyone else in the room, I just assume Dave knows everything, which is a lot of pressure to put on you, Dave.

And also, my German heritage, barren. That's on you, Dave. And also my German heritage, Baron. That's true. It's often proven true, though. Like it's, you know, you know that Dave does know a lot. Yeah. And I know a lot about oddly specific things. Like the Anthony Eden that Jess just caught. Yeah, I would not have got that.

I really don't think beyond Aristotle Onassis, I don't think I would have got any of these right. Even the Craig David, the Dave News show, I'm like, I remember that album being a big hit. And I should remember, I remember more the follow-up hit on the next, well, it was a lesser hit, was What's Your Flavour? And I thought it was so funny that that was. And that was sort of the beginning of the end for Craig David.

I think he's still massive over there. Oh, right, there you go. And he's still. The beginning of the end for Craig David. I think he's still massive over there. All right, there you go. And he's still... The beginning of the end. And he's only like about 40 now. Yeah. He was so young then. I just think about how much time every day must spend manicuring that beard.

Yeah. It's a pencil mustache that becomes a pencil sideburns and a pencil goatee. It's a lot. A lot of pencil. But have you seen his rig? Unbelievable. Good rig? Big rig?

Really? He's just spent, think about the time he spends on that rig as well. Oh, it's true. I mean, maybe a little bit more time on the lyrics. What's your flavor? Just saying the days of the week. So the half a million pound question. Baron Hausman.

Is it Rome, Paris, Berlin, Athens? He's straight away going, I think it's Berlin. There's a bit of a gasp from the crowd. And then he says a little less convincingly, I think. I think it's Berlin. And then he continues to go through it. I think it's Berlin. Hausman sounds like more of a German name.

That's why I'm thinking Berlin. No cough so far. Okay, so it's Rome, Berlin, Paris. Rome, Berlin, Paris, Athens. They're all such old cities. He says something like, I just think Haussmann sounds

more German than it sounds Italian or Parisian or Athens. I thought it was funny. He's forgotten where Athens is. They're all Athens. What I would base it on, my guess, would be the fact that there's four cities, all ancient, all thousands of years old,

but Berlin after World War II, absolutely destroyed. Right. Maybe they had a chance to rebuild it. Yeah. So they brought in a guy to do a bit of planning. Gotcha. That would be my guess. Wow, yeah, that's a great point.

That's a really good point. Turns out that some of these other cities have had overhauls as well. No. So it sounds like you're going to take the money here, which it's a good win. I'd take the money. I'd take the money in a thousand. Although, no, you didn't use one of his lifelines. You've still got the phone of friends.

So you could probably call someone. I'd be calling Baron Houseman. I'll call my good friend Baron Houseman. You're going to think this is a wild coincidence, but I got Baron on the line. Baz, what's up? Now, tell me again. I'm so sorry.

I know. I do love your work. This is embarrassing because we've talked about this at length. But, you know, we were a few bottles in. Was it Berlin? So he goes straight for Berlin. There's no cough. Then he repeats, I think it's Berlin.

There is a cough, but when you hear it, it sounds a lot like someone saying, no. No. Yes. No. No. No. No.

Never. Lock in. Berlin. It's not Berlin. It's not Berlin. It's not Berlin. Read out the other answers and I'll cough after the correct one. So the argument here is he's gone off the plan. He's meant to read them out.

He's just gone, I think it's Berlin. So if this is the case, he's left him, Widock with no choice but to... Say no. Say no. How are people sitting around them not going, this is blatant? What the fuck? Well, that's the interesting thing.

I'll mention it later, but Chris Tarrant says he never noticed any coughing. He didn't notice that. He doesn't have an earpiece in, but the rest of the production crew are starting to go, something weird's going on here. And they're talking about on this link through all their headsets. They're going, he's got good all of a sudden. He's playing really strange. It seems a bit sus.

But Taron doesn't have that in his ear, so he's never sus on it. So the defense says they're in a closed loop. They're all confirming this bias that they've come up with. So now every cough seems sus. Yes, of course. Whereas Taron's not noticing that, and he's not in that conversation. He's also focusing on hosting a show. But if you're sitting right next to someone who just coughed no.

Yeah, you'd think you'd. You'd be like Dave going, this looks odd. On the tape it really sounds like they've amplified it. And the no, is that coming from the audience like Diana? Is it coming from the guy? No, from the pit again, from the fastest finger pit. Right. Surely the other contestants are going, fuck off.

Well, some of the other contestants after the fact definitely say, we're a sus on it and we knew what he was up to. Yeah, okay. But it's hard to know. Yeah. It feels like you've all seen the story play out in the media. Yeah. I knew as soon as I saw him he was evil.

Yeah, yeah. It feels a bit like that. That's why I'm still so torn. It feels like these sort of things you go, well, that's pretty obvious. But it's not. No. Yeah. But, I mean, arguments are made that people, you know, like Dave,

you were saying, people just whisper, I know the answer. Yes. Or, you know, you're not meaning to, but you're like, no. You know, you're so invested in it from you're sitting watching and, no, that's not right, but you've accidentally said it too loud. They've boosted it in the mic. It's possible. Okay, so how does he react to it, though?

So. He turns to the pit, gives a thumbs up. No worries. Roger that. Actually, Chris, I'm going to start thinking about this from the top. I've actually ruled out Berlin. No, he sticks with Berlin. I think it's Berlin, but he starts now working his way through the options.

He says, I don't think it's Paris. Then there's a cough straight away there. Then he goes through the others. I don't think it's Paris. Then there's a cough straight away there. Then he goes through the others. I don't think it's Athens and I'm sure it's not Rome. By this time he gets to the end of the sentence. He says, I thought it was Berlin, but there's a chance it's Paris. Then a long, long pause. I think it's Berlin. Then another pause. I think it's Paris, cough. He then thinks on it a bit more and says, it's either Berlin or Paris. I think it's Paris, Koff. He then thinks on it a bit more and says, it's either Berlin or Paris. I think it's Paris, Koff. Yep, I'm going to say it's Paris.

Let's lock in Paris. All right. Which is correct. So now you're starting to go, well, when you play that together, it's hard to go. Yeah. So then he moves on to the million pound question. I think you two took the money and ran, right?

Yeah. And look, we're going to have a beautiful dinner. Yeah. But let's play it out, you know, just to see, just for fun. The rest was for cash. Now it's just for fun. Let's pretend. So the final question.

You ready, Dave? I feel like you'll know this. I'd be surprised if you knew this. I do not know Baron Hausman. I reckon if anyone knows this, it's probably because it became famous from this moment maybe. The question is, or you're a mathematician or whatever. I'm a mathematician.

Or a computer person, which he is. He's a qualified engineer, Or a computer person, which he is. He's a qualified engineer, and he goes on to fix laptop computers when he loses his job in the army. Oh. Yeah, I know. Sorry. So the question is, a number one followed by 100 zeros is known by what name?

Oh, that's a Google. That is correct. Isn't that where Google comes from? Yeah. I did not know that. So is Google, Megatron, Gigabit or Nanomole? That would have been my guess because I wouldn't have known exactly how many zeros, but I know that Google is like,

you know, comes from a very, very big number. I didn't know that. From a chart in our grade four classroom, it had all the numbers saying one, 1,000, all the way down. And then we were always fascinated because it went for so long and it just said one Google and then it just had 100 zero. Wow. That's so funny.

I'm like, well, you won't know this one. I didn't, so no one will. Although I haven't known any of them. And you've known nearly all of them. And also at the time, Google's only a few years old. I've definitely locked in my two phone-a-friends based on this. If anything, if I don't know the answer, I'll at least give you a nice little pep talk.

Yeah. I'll say over the phone, I'll say, Matt, you look at me. Matt, look at me. Imagine me, look at me. So that is correct. And, yeah, I wonder if it was put on posters because of... No, I don't. So he says, I think it's a nanomole, but it could be a gigabit.

I don't think it's a Megatron, and I don't think I've heard of a Google. As he says Google, there's a cough from the audience, and he says, by the process of elimination, I actually think it is Google. But I don't know what a Google is. I don't think it's a gigabit. And I don't think it's a nanomole. And I don't think it's a Megatron. I really do think it's a Google cough.

He then says, he's ruled out the other three. And he doesn't know what a Google is. But it's his only chance of winning a million he goes through them again and gets another cough on goo goal he then locks it in and wins the million pounds and is it like a big big moment does that have the confession

yes all that stuff happens Chris Tarrant's like you've been the most remarkable contestant we've ever had your strategies have been baffling but but, you know, it worked. He's gotten through all of those, the whole second day without a lifeline. He's still got a lifeline, doesn't he? Or does he have nothing? No, he used the 50-50 on, I can't remember.

Coronation Street? No, that one was the day before. That was Phone a Friend. The Phone a Friend. Oh, no, sorry. No, that was the audience. The audience, yeah. But he used the 50-50 somewhere., no, sorry. No, the Aussie audience. The Aussie audience, yeah. But he used the 50-50 somewhere.

Cities were the option. No, September's. Oh, no, it was on Craig David. Cold Plan, Top Loader were taken out. Oh, okay, yes. That's right. September's, I just yelled. Was it September's?

I couldn't think of the word month. It was the September's. So he definitely would have used it otherwise, I think. Yeah. And so those last two are the ones that really seem pretty sus. Yeah, definitely. He's changed his answer. So the other ones were sort of more confirmation.

And just the number of coughs involved. And the phrase, I don't even know what that is. Yeah. Cough, actually. He also said he'd never heard of Craig David before locking in Craig David. But he said that one made some sense. He heard a gasp when he said he was going to lock in A1, there was only one other option.

People were gasping, he hasn't heard of a Google. He's also said since that, you know, everything he said wasn't necessarily true. He knew that he had this idea that being more interesting and dramatic meant that he thought the questions would become easier because they'd want to keep you on longer and these sort of things. He had these weird ideas that he'd heard from the quizzes. So he's sort of saying, I wasn't necessarily telling the truth.

I was just trying to keep it entertaining. But, yeah, those last two, pretty hard to swallow. So the confetti comes down, he's given the check, heads to the hotel with Diana. But the production team... They had sex on that cash. They had sex on that cash. They had sex on the check. Wouldn't you?

Yes. I'd want to cum on that check. We can't accept this check. It's sticky and blurry. Worth it. Apparently, so those checks that Chris Tarrant's handing, they're cashable checks. So, you know, every time he gives one and rips it up when they move on,

that's actually the check you can take. Oh, my God. But the production team had become suspicious during his run to the, on his run to the million. And when Lee Ma, writing for the New Zealand Herald, reported that the producers were immediately on edge, Charles Ingram had behaved very strangely, flip-flopping on the answers, particularly those last two,

and the Craig David one. You know, he said he didn't even know who Craig David was, and he picked it as the answer anyway. I think he sort of explained that one in a way that I'd accept. But suspicions were raised and the prize money was withheld they put a stop on the check and the police were called in he got a phone call the next day i think on september 11 and it was it was like um hey from one of the bosses of the production company said uh with notice some irregularities We're putting a stop on the check. And apparently he reacted in a slightly strange way.

He's like, oh, well, I'd certainly deny that. He didn't ask. I mean, and again, I might be blurring the dramatization with the reality, but I think I read that this is sort of how he responded anyway. He didn't say what irregularities. Yeah, what are you talking about? No one was coughing. Sorry, quiet.

We didn't have a complicated cough code. I love that in movies. We never said anything about coughing. Yeah, I love it. There was a moment like that in Scream 4, which I watched the other night. Wow. I never said I was injured in that shoulder or whatever. But anyway.

I never said I was going around murdering people wearing a funny mask. But anyway. I never said I was going around murdering people wearing a funny mask. So this is still from, I love this sort of writing, by Wenlei Ma. The trivia show Rating Sensation had a cheating scandal on its hands. Oh, man, that's dramatic stuff. The producers had isolated 19 coughs in the studio. They had enhanced. Enhanced.

While listening to the answers aloud, 19 coughs that coincided with the correct answers. Hence the coughing major moniker given to Ingram, even though he himself was not the source of the coughs. So that's what he became known as in the British press. Coughing major. The coughing major. But he hadn't coughed once.

He never coughed. The press. The lamest. The Coughing Major. But he hadn't coughed once. He never coughed. Oh, the press. The lamestream media at it again. Oh, the bloody press. What are they like? Yeah, so, and all this tape. So who had the most to gain from stopping this check? The production company.

It was their money that they were putting out there. I think it was a 50-50 split who put up the prize money between ITV and the production company, it was their money that they were putting out there. I think it was a 50-50 split who put up the prize money between ITV and the production company. So they've got this tape. The tape ended up going to court. It was version 6 was what it was called. And they're like, that was what they handed in to police nearly a year later. So it had been manipulated.

This is what the defence is saying. This is a tape they've enhanced these certain coughs. There were many other coughs that they didn't enhance. There were sometimes wrong answers or just irrelevant times. But it was splashed across the British tabloid press and Ingram and his wife Diana and Welsh professor Tecwen Whiddock, who was sitting in the fastest finger pit in the studio, were put on trial for fraud.

The day after the taping was the September 11 attacks, so that obviously overshadowed the coughing scandal, and that's why maybe we aren't as aware of it. I'm not sure. Maybe it was just a long time ago. Maybe it was in the papers here at the time as well. Takes until 2003 for the case to go to trial. Journalist John Ronson was there.

He's quite a famous journalist and author. Oh, yeah, the man who used Derek Goats guy. Yeah, that's right. And so you've been publicly shamed, I think, was him as well. The psychopath test. By the way, that's our John for the block. Yes! Well done, everybody.

So I think we got a John in each time. The theme for Block 2021 was John. Call in when you hear the secret word, everybody. So I think we got a John in each time. The theme for Block 2021 was John. Call in when you hear the secret word, John. So our man John wrote an article for The Guardian at the time. It turns out he didn't realise he was interested in the case and then his mum goes, you know, you went to school with Diana and he had no recollection of it but he's like, oh, I'm sort of connected to it.

So he went in and he went in for every day of the trial. Wow. And he wrote an article for The Guardian at the time, and I'll quote a bit of it now. It says, Thursday afternoon, March the 20th, 2003, is when it all goes wrong for Charles Ingram. He's being cross-examined by prosecuting barrister Nicholas Hilliard about particular coughs 12 to 14 so they've numbered

the coughs uh he says those of us who've attended this long slow trial from the beginning know the coughs so well we can mouth them the tape of charles appearance on millionaire has been played nearly a dozen times during charles tenure in the hot seat 192 coughs rang out in the audience. 173 were, experts agree, innocent clearings of throats, etc. 192 coughs. Wow. Yeah, it's funny because in this trial, I can't remember if I mentioned it here, but the more coughs are talked about in the courtroom, more people are coughing. At one point, the judge has to clear the courtroom because there's so much coughing. Wow. And it seems like it's just like that yawning thing where you're talking about it, all of a sudden you're aware of it and you're like, you know,

you're feeling that thing and that itch in your throat. Wow. And I've definitely noticed you coughing more today, Dave, and I wonder if that's part of that. Coincidence? God, Dave. Or more. Are you in on it?

But, you know, you go, well, that's a lot of coughs. Only, what, 10% of them are the ones you're saying sus. There's a chance that it's a weird coincidence. Yeah, with that many coughs, yeah. Wow. But John goes on. Perhaps the most devastating of all is particular cough number 12. It arose during Chris Tarrant's 500,000-pound question.

Baron Haussmann is best known for his planning of which city? Rome, Paris, Berlin, Athens. Like I mentioned before, after it sounds like Charles is going to pump for Berlin without reading all the answers aloud, we hear cough number 12. That's the one that sounded more like no. Yeah. That's cough number 12. And then after a few more coughs, he changes his mind to Paris. So back to John Ronson. He says, the first time this no cough was played in court,

every journalist and member of the public burst out laughing. Judge Rivlin threatened to clear the court. Like, it just was so ridiculous sounding. I can't wait to hear it. That is so damning, isn't it? Yeah. Everyone laughs at it. So I think that's, like like the narrative in the press,

even to this point and then afterwards, is what a bumbling effort to try and do this. It's so ridiculous. It was never going to work. This guy's such a doofus. You know, there's no way he would have won a million dollars without this ridiculous scheme. So then Nicholas Hilliard asked Charles why he changed his mind and

opted for Paris. It sounds almost like he's gone back and researched the answer and then this is what he says in court, that Charles says. I knew that Paris was a planned city. The centre of Paris was cleared of slums during the 19th century and it was rebuilt into districts and boulevards.

Prominent in my mind was the economic reason. In the middle of the 19th century, France was coming out of the revolutionary period. Fucking hell. And it was decided, I think by Napoleon III, that he would concentrate on Paris and thereby the remainder of France would flourish. You've gone too far.

You've gone too far. Yeah, it feels like you've overdone the lie there. Or that's just, you know, maybe he just knew all that and that's what he was thinking in his head, but he made it seem more interesting by saying, I think it's Berlin. I think it's Berlin. It's a German sounding name. As written in the history of Paris by

Yeah, as the Oxford Dictionary. And then, as John Swanson says, Charles then looks hopefully at the jury like, huh? I knew it was about Paris. But then Hillard sighs saying, but at the jury like, huh? Huh? I knew it was about Paris. No, I mean. But then Hillard sighs saying, but at the time, you said you thought it was Berlin because he had a German-sounding name.

And there's a silence. And a cough. Oh, Mr. Ingram, says Hilliard. Surely you can help us a little bit better than that. Apparently this Hilliard guy is a brutal but brilliant lawyer. Really? And he's just shredding it. Just destroying it.

He's like, come on, just sort of patronising and then just like you can just sort of picture him looking to the gallery and getting a little flabbergasted, just like winking at him and stuff. Surely you wouldn't think that we'd believe that. John Ronson was later in the hallway in between sessions and another lawyer came past and he said something like, oh, that Hilliard, he absolutely shredded me in a murder trial recently. He's like infamous.

So Judge Rivlin then calls for a break and they all file out in the corridor. Charles looks shaken. He lights a cigarillo, his face beetroot and a picture of self-loathing. Nobody notices that he's wearing a Mensa badge. He put it on as a special touch, but it's so tiny, just a little M on his lapel, that the jury can't spot it. So Charles did wear a Mensa badge through the trial, perhaps to combat the media coverage which portrayed him as a bumbling fool. He sat the test a few months before the trial in early

2003. He passed, meaning his IQ is in the top 2%. So he's like, he's a really smart guy. But, you know, trivia's about knowledge, not intelligence. Yeah, that's right. But he's just sort of going, look, you're all portraying me as a doofus, but I'm

actually really smart. I'm smarter than 98% of the people in this room. And there's 100 of you, so. So who's the other one? Let me show you show us your badges. Back to Ronson. Hilliard has got me all tied in knots he says. I just don't want to say anything stupid. So that's what he's.

Sounds like he's the other Mensa man. I do an upbeat smile even though I believe that only a miracle can save them now how does it feel to have to keep watching that tape i ask i imagine it must be embarrassing from the tape they look quite extraordinarily guilty albeit in a sweet and funny way it seems such a slapstick type of crime a half-baked plot executed badly charles replies i still get a thrill when it gets to the part where i win the million he like he loves he's like because he he's saying i did it yeah it's

like i i achieved this cool thing but that's everyone else is watching again oh no silly old coughing major uh ronson continues chris tarrant may not be the world's greatest superstar but within the context of this grubby building we've come to call home the wallpaper peeling the soap in the toilets as hard as a rock the evidence dragging on and on here's like a vision of paradise entering court for

everyone is smitten but this Hollywood star is coming it's Chris Tarrant everybody put it back out of compliment he may not be the greatest superstar. Yeah, I know. It's so funny. Has anyone ever got the first question wrong?

Ask one defence barrister of Tarrant. It's happened in America, replies Tarrant, to huge laughter around the court. Tarrant looks surprised. He was just giving a factual response. And I was like, oh, America. During all the merriment. Typical.

Yeah. It's so funny. They also had a guy that got the million without needing a lifeline, you know? Yeah. During all the merriment Typical Yeah So funny They also had a guy that got the million without needing a lifeline You know It's like America obviously So stupid They never should have got independence from us And I think that proves it

That's sort of what that laugh sounds like to me One person goes all the wrong Lol God we're good That's sort of what that laugh sounds like to me. It's on this same show. One person goes all the wrong. Lol. God, we're good. So during all the merriment, the fact that Tarrant heard no coughing, he said all this in court, he suspected no foul play, and even said to the show's producers, don't be stupid when he was told of their suspicions. All that seemed to get lost in the case.

So he said all that. He said that in court. I like that he's like stuck to his, no, I didn't hear anything. Yeah, that's right. Because, you know, he would have also been swept up in it. And probably the producer and everything, the production company, probably like, you know, it's us versus him. Yeah.

Pick a side. He's like, no, I'm just going to say how I thought. Yeah, which is obviously what you're meant to do in court, but it would be easy to get, you know, I've seen the evidence now, which he has later said he's like he now has no doubt that they were guilty and he sort of like doesn't like the dramatisation of it because it's got a lot of shades of grey and he's like it's kind of ridiculous to portray it like they weren't definitely guilty.

He's like they were definitely guilty right and in one breakfast interview he didn't say this in court he just said what he believed at the time which is you know admirable right but on a breakfast uh show recently he said when i when i said if you get this wrong you lose you go all the way back you lose lose like $400,000 and whatever. And he's like, I only realised months later, but he's like, yeah, let's just go for it. Normally they're putting their heads in their hands going, oh, my God, this is stressful.

But I watched it back, the first time he said it, Charles Ingram literally puts his hands over his face and goes, oh, that's so funny. I should cut the two together. Chris Tarrant going, that's how I knew that he was definitely. Yeah. Because when he said it again, he didn't. But the first time he said it, he definitely put his hands over his face,

literally like what Chris Tarrant said people normally do. And also it's funny to be like, this is how people normally behave. Not everyone behaves the same in stressful situations. So it's kind of weirdly calm yeah that's right yeah so i don't think that's enough to i think the coughs happening at these certain times you that's your best yeah reason to believe it um so a big part of the defense was that there were a lot more coughs, like I said, during the taping. Like 90% of them weren't, seemed to be sus. On top of this, the man who was supposedly doing these coughs,

Tecwen Whittock, has a chronic cough. It's been a thing he's had his whole life. As Ronson writes, Tecwen has suffered from a persistent cough his entire life. Water helps. He carries some everywhere. And fruit juice. And inhalers. And cough medicine. It's a ticklish cough, like a frog in his throat. It is so annoying, John. We go to the movies, he's coughing everywhere.

It would be a nightmare in this current climate, you know? Yes. With COVID and stuff. And it's like hay fever season here, so every time I'm sneezing, I'm like, it's coughing everywhere. It would be a nightmare, like, in this current climate, you know? Yes. With COVID and stuff. And it's, like, hay fever season here, so every time I'm sneezing, I'm like, it's just allergies. The writer of the quiz, the miniseries, he's like, my timing is awful. They debuted in England in 2020.

He's like, are people going to want to watch a show all about coughing in the middle of this pandemic? But it turns out they did. It was a big hit. Anyway, Ronson goes on. Tecwen Wittock's barrister, David Aubrey, sums up by saying, So when was this plan supposedly hatched? During a late night phone call on September 9, lasting less than five minutes?

Is it really likely that Mr. Wittock would take part in such a hastily conceived scheme? Wouldn't he have said, you can't count on me. I'm liable to cough at any time. This isn't... Yeah. So I'm like, that is a good point. If the host, if Chris isn't, the host is Chris?

Did I make that up? At a moment I was like, I made that up. If he can't hear anything, he's not hearing these coughs at all, maybe is it possible that Charles actually couldn't hear? Yeah, I think, well, that's what Charles also said in court. He's like, I never heard the coughs. I was focused. I didn't hear the coughs.

Yeah. And if you didn't have a system in place, you wouldn't. But if you did have a system, he'd be listening out for them when Chris Tarrant wouldn't be, you know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely, yes. So there there's definitely you can understand that on both ways it's a really good point from that lawyer being like yeah why would i okay so this thing i do involuntarily we're gonna base the entire code system on coughing yeah which i'm gonna do a lot anyway that's a bad idea yeah and then also they didn't know Widdock was going to be on the next show

until it was read out that night, like the night before. So it couldn't have been planned in advance more than that five-minute phone call. Yeah. The prosecution didn't even argue that they'd never met. So it's like in the miniseries when uh the ingrams and wittok sit together in court wittok goes nice to meet you it's like nice to meet you co-defendants of this crime um and that wasn't even argued so it was supposedly it had to be unless they were going

hey if we ever happen to be in the same room at the same time, let's do this coughing thing. Yeah, it just seems odd. So that makes you think maybe, and, you know, weird coincidences happen. They film a lot of shows. One time this guy just bumbles his way to a million and there were coughs. Who knows? Because the defence also played the first millionaire winner and they showed that she had coughs throughout hers

and they didn't seem to be sus, but a similar amount of coughs and on a similar amount of correct answers. Oh, wow. Really? Yeah. So, but it's because he was a bit of a, you know, had a different energy or whatever. Seemed a bit more sus. Didn't do so well on the first night that they were more sus on him. So, there's all these things that give you little elements of doubt.

And, yeah, I reckon that coughing one, that he coughs all the time, that's a pretty big one. Another interesting fact is that Wittok has a long history of going on quiz shows. He loves it. He's a quizzer. I was trying to figure out why I'm doing that accent. I think it's because you're a wizard, Harry.

You're a quizzer. You're a quizzer, Harry. It just naturally is how I'm saying quizzer but that's probably why anyway um so he's got a long history going on these shows but he's never been very successful he went on to millionaire he got the fastest finger first and went away with a thousand pounds so he's this genius who's meant to be getting all these questions right or at least that's where their system was based around this guy but he's never really done that well in quizzes the um prosecution did say a couple of times he lent over to another fastest finger first guy do you know this one apparently that and and apparently the mics picked that up

but i haven't heard that but apparently on a couple of questions he's like do you know this one and so if that's true that's obviously adds to the sustenance, but that's also something that people in the audience are doing anyway. Yeah. So he possibly was just like he was watching at home. Yeah, but he goes, do you know this one? Paris, thanks. Paris. No.

It's Paris. This guy says Paris. He's real smart. Someone bring a dog in here. Good boy. So, but how is he going on the show again if he's already been on it? Which, Wittok? Yeah.

Well, he's sitting in the pit, so he gets through after. So, once the millionaire thing happens, that's not at the end of the episode. So, they bring on the next contestant, which I think was Wittok. Oh, and he only won £1,000. Yes. Imagine that, being like, i just coached this guy to a million and i'm out on fuck you'd hope he's getting a decent cut of the mill yeah just just to me it's sort of like well that all these things because this has to be beyond reasonable doubt in court yeah and all these things have just feel like enough doubt to me maybe although i gotta put

my hand up here and say don't know the british uh court system that well i did study australian legal studies in vce okay but not sure about the british system okay is ours based on that system maybe it is a disappointment that's what i'll say um so along with the fact that host chris tarrant said he didn't know any of the coughing, didn't notice any of the coughing, that there was a lot more coughing than those 19 coughs, all these things make me think, yeah, there's enough reasonable doubt there that I don't think I'd be able to. But if you've seen it all play out in the media, it's hard to put that. And those tapes of him changing his mind. It's hard to go past that. But I just feel like maybe there's enough doubt.

But apparently not. Following a four-week trial at Southwark, Southwark? Oh, we shouldn't. Southwark, I reckon that is. Crown Court. The jury found that Charles, Diana and Tequin were guilty after a three-and-a-half-day deliberation. The Ingrams were sentenced to 18 months in prison

and Whittock to 12 months, all suspended for two years, so no actual jail time was served, but they were all landed with hefty fines as well. So they ended up losing quite a bit. But they could pay that out of their million-dollar winnings. Yeah, they still got the winnings, obviously. They're like, you got us, but, you know, good scheme. You've got to pay that.

So I think the prosecution said that Witock's reason to do it, his motive was that his daughter's school fees were quite expensive. That was his reason to do it. But he was like, oh, man, just reading what he was saying, he was real sweet. He was like, oh, I just was hoping to buy a new bed for my dog and my son was a big fan of Only Fools and Horses or some English show and he wanted to get a car like they drive.

So I was hoping to get that car. And a bed for the dog. Why do you start with a bed for a dog, which aren't, they're not expensive, and then a car? Like the car's the big purchase. Well, look, maybe I'm recounting it in the wrong order. But, yeah, they all just come across as real sweet. But is he admitting that it was a plot then?

No, no, he's saying that's why he went on the show. Went on the show, not why they did it. That was what he was hoping. Gotcha. His best result was to get something for his kid and his dog. Like, oh, my heart is freaking breaking. Oh, no. Imagine you didn't do it.

I've just got a cough, which has haunted me my whole life, and now it's got me guilty in a court of law, something I didn't do. If you didn't do it, man, what a nightmare. Later in 2003, the Army Board ordered Ingram to resign after 16 years of service. And in some ways, this was only the beginning of the Ingram's pain. According to Paul Stanworth, writing for the BBC, a few months after the ITV court case, Charles Ingram appeared on his own in front of another jury in an unrelated case, and he was found guilty of insurance fraud. The jury was told that the millionaire case had left Ingram in 400,000

pounds of debt and he had no job. So he resorted to insurance fraud. So people go, well, this is a sus guy. He's just, again, getting away with the grift. But he's like, honestly, I had to figure out, I was struggling. So I had to figure out a way. I don't know more details of that, but I think that was, you know, that's just the thing that happened uh this from a bbc article this is this is pretty rough reading uh from 2007 four years after the trial the ex-army major says he and his wife have faced torrents of abuse and had their home and pets attacked 60 times like, you think they cheated on a game show? And they've had a jail sentence and big fines. I reckon they've...

It's enough. I reckon that's enough. Why do you care so much? It's so weird, isn't it? So weird. And the game show didn't lose any money. Yeah, they haven't hurt anybody. Yeah, it's real strange.

That's so odd. And they've got three kids, too. They have three daughters. That sucks. It goes on ingram was convicted on wednesday of assaulting a 13 year old boy who had coughed at him in the dramatization he spat in his face the boy so he turned around he said enough and he sort of grabbed him by the collar and so um but then ingram told the bb BBC News that the assault case was a travesty and said it was pursued purely because of who I am, someone notorious.

I'm sickened by the maliciousness of it all, but it's typical of the trouble we have suffered, he said. Salisbury magistrates gave Ingram an absolute discharge for grabbing the boy's collar, even though the victim agreed in court that he made up a lot of his evidence. What? Yeah, isn't that strange? The behaviour of some youths, he does talk about Ingram's become old man,

even though he's like 40, he's starting to talk about youths a lot. Although maybe you would if kids were being like this. He says the behaviour of some youths near his home had become unbearable. We get a lot of coughing wherever we go. Even when we go abroad to Spain. Generally, it's good humoured, and if it gets intimidating, we just walk away. But there's a very small minority in the local community

who are really vitriolic and make our lives hell. This bit's rough. Our dog was kicked and punched by six youths and subsequently died. Our cat was shot with an air pistol. What the fuck? What is wrong with this place? What did the dog do?

Isn't that what they're like, oh, this guy, yeah? Sounds like they coughed on a game show. You know what we're going to do? Kill their pets. Yeah, you coughed on a game show, allegedly. You've been fined heavily. You didn't get any of the money. Nobody was hurt.

John Ronson at the time was talking to prosecutors and stuff in the case. He's like, why are you even following through with this? This is an expensive court case. They didn't win any money. It's just like, why are you wasting everyone's time and money? And they were like, you know, it's a big show, it's franchised around the world, we've got to protect it. Yeah.

So you're like, all right. Like, yeah, it's not quite enough to just stop at not giving them the money. Yeah, it's a tricky one. But he's like, why don't you take it to civil court? Why press criminal charges? But either way, I don't know if that would have affected how the public yeah do you think of the justice system surely that's an enough yeah that's why we have the justice system so we don't have to kill people's dogs exactly he says i can't go for a run because

people try to run me off the road i know it's deliberate because they slow down afterwards and cough out the window you'd be like because you go oh that's weird the car run me off the road I reckon that was on purpose. That's fucked. We can't do things as a family. We can't go to the cinema because there'll be a few youths who keep coughing and coughing until we have to leave because it's ruining the film for everyone else. who keep coughing and coughing until we have to leave because it's ruining the film for everyone else. Ingram says his car windows have been smashed and nails put under their tyres

and on several occasions his rubbish bins have been emptied all over the street. Rubbish and eggs have also been thrown at the house, he says, and two weeks ago something worse. They threw what I can only describe as a bag of sick. It was revolting and it smelled terrible. Two weeks before that we found a gang of sick. It was revolting and it smelled terrible. Two weeks before that, we found a gang of youths in our garden smashing our windows.

Another time, my wife was surrounded by six of them on bikes who wouldn't let her pass and kept shouting bitch and cheat at her. Ingram says he has reported about 20 of the incidents to police, but is unable to identify those responsible. I don't know why they do what he said. I mean, the boy in court was eight when I was in the hot seat,

so I can only suppose it must be coming from the parents. It's like, yeah, I don't reckon an eight-year-old was watching go and had. I mean, it was never even aired. It's not reading the papers going, oh, I'm going to tell you what. He lives in my neighbourhood. I will show him. I'm going to tell you what.

He lives in my neighbourhood. I will show him. The tabloid media loved all of this and did stories on the Ingrams, aka the coughing major, and they sort of portrayed her as like a Lady Macbeth character. I think, is this how Macbeth works? Macbeth is a, is he a soldier or he's a king? He's like a lord and general. Right.

So, and then the cold wife pulling the strings behind is sort of how they portrayed her. That's fucked. And they did that whenever they could. Here's an example from the Daily Mail. Anything they did became newsworthy. There's so many different smallish things that happened. This one wouldn't be newsworthy if it was anyone else, you wouldn't think, but it is a full-on thing that happened.

Another just bit of bad luck for the major, unfortunately, titled, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Cheat? Charles Ingram Slices Off Three Toes in Freak Gardening Accident. Oh, poor man. Former, and he just seems to take it all with pretty good humour. Former Army Major Charles Ingram was seen as a bad apple when he cheated his way to the million-dollar top prize on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. This is great writing.

Yesterday, he was cursing a bad apple after slipping on one in his garden and slicing off three toes with his lawnmower. They called him a bad apple and then he slipped on a rotten apple. That's good writing. I think that's good writing. Dubbed the coughing major after the ploy used to give correct answers on the ITV quiz show, Mr Ingram told yesterday how he took his three toes with him to the hospital. He added, it could have been a heck of a lot worse. Luckily, the mower had a safety feature to turn off automatically when it was let go.

It's obviously a shame that it happened, but it's an accident, and it's just one of those things you have to work through. I just love him. Oh, my God. Oh, Major. I was using my hover mower to mow the bank at the back of the garden and trying to avoid the apple tree when I slipped on a rotten apple, he said. I tried to avoid the blade of the mower, but it went over my foot.

I was only wearing Wellingtons and it sliced right through the rubber. Wear those steel caps if you can, people. Yes, and the toes? The same thing happened to my uncle, the exact same thing. Lost a few toes. My uncle had them reattached, so he's just got these short toes at the end of his foot. But unfortunately, he said they were too mangled to get put back on.

Oh, Major. He says, I remember seeing my big toe lying on the grass and thinking, oh, dear. Oh, it's a big toe as well. For some reason I'm imagining the smaller three. I was as well. And I'm like, you can still maybe walk in that. They've been described as classic stiff upper lip English people.

And this is just classic. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. There's my toe over there. Oh, gosh. He said, I got up and I managed to shuffle down to the front of the garden. Fortunately, someone was just arriving to pick up a laptop and she rang for an ambulance.

So he just took it in with very good humour by the sounds of it. I guess this wasn't, I mean, that was his mistake. Imagine going to pick up your laptop. Some nerds fix it for you, you go to pick up. He's like, oh, dear, mind picking up my, drop off your laptop, pick nerds fix it for you, you go to pick up. He's like, oh dear, mind picking up my, drop off your laptop, pick up my toe. Would you be so kind as to call an

ambulance? I'm in a wee bit of strife. Would you mind calling 999? That's the British one. People are yelling at their iPods, apologise. So yeah, so just all this weird, weird bad luck. Well, I mean, the rest isn't bad luck. That's just people being fucked.

But that was just another level of bad luck on top. That's horrendous. Well, it hasn't been all bad times. Ingram used their notoriety a little bit to feature on some different reality TV shows. This is what I thought was going to happen. I was like, surely it's going to be on Celebrity Big Brother. In England, yes. Because they love that weird

they've just got weird celebrities. So, the one that came up a lot was, he was on an episode, or they were on an episode of the reality TV show, Wife Swap. Charles paired up with English Big Brother star, Jade Goody, and her partner, Jeff

Brazier, was partnered with Diana. So, they swapped wives and then they sort of see how it goes. According to Stanworth, the former army major living with someone made famous by Big Brother didn't start well, but seemed to improve after some blazing rows. Jade tried to give him a makeover famously saying, if a tracksuit's good enough for David Beckham, it's good enough for you. Diana and Jeff got on slightly better and seemed to enjoy their night knocking back tequila at Bubble Glam in Romford. That's a TV show over there anyway.

So they did a few things like that. They were on The Weakest Link and stuff like that. One of the questions, the answer was cough. Oh, my God. Possibly the best thing that has happened to them in recent times, though, is this miniseries, Quiz, which is about the whole affair, which aired in the UK in 2020. The writer of Quiz, James Graham, told news.com.au,

I thought they were guilty. I couldn't believe how obvious it was. People were obsessed with this story, and the interpretation of the events that existed in people's minds was that they were guilty. You can watch the tape on YouTube, and when you see it, you think, oh my God, it's so obvious. The coughs are so loud and the patterns are so distinct. But then you dig into the evidence and yes, there were 19 coughs on the right answers, but there were more than 190 other coughs on the wrong answers, which I don't know

if that's quite the right number, but there were a lot of other coughs on the wrong answers. And there was this tape that the production team put together who were the ones who were trying to prove that they didn't have to pay a million bucks. So there's all these sort of... And it took them ages, like a bunch of different tapes before they got it. That was the one that was shown in court.

So there's all these sort of things that seem a bit sus. Ma, writing for the New Zealand Herald, says, since Quiz was broadcast in the UK during the early weeks of the pandemic lockdown, many people have begun to doubt their guilt. Watching it like the whole way through, which is really interesting, you go, oh, this seems real sus. And you're like, actually, no, I reckon this is just a bad coincidence.

And it's funny how I think the show does it really well like that. John Ronson, who wrote about it, he was like it was funny how obviously it was a scheme and it was sort of embarrassing almost. He said back in 2006 that he was starting to have second thoughts, writing, I was sure the three quizzers convicted of defrauding Chris Tarrant's show were guilty, but now I have my doubts.

I'm beginning to suspect that Charles Ingram, his wife Diana, and Tecwen Whittock may be innocent. I'm amazed to find myself thinking this. I sat through every day of the trial and wrote an article about it. At the time, like everyone else, I thought the plot was hilariously obvious and badly executed. The plan was clearly for Charles to chew over the answers out loud and for Tequin, sitting behind him in the fastest finger first seat, to cough on the correct one.

Ronson went on to talk about how ex-millionaire contestant James Plaskett, who ended up, he was a contestant who was quite successful, won £250,000. They got into a conversation via email and he started, towns, they got into a conversation via email and Plaskett really started to convince Robinson that maybe they didn't do it. This is back on that great website, wikipedia.org. I think this is what I'm finishing on here. I'm finishing on the positive idea of that maybe they didn't do it because I'm really

not sure. Like I say, times where I'm like, obviously they did. Well, you've taken us on that journey too because I was like, no. I'm like, oh, guilty. But now I'm thinking, oh, maybe. Yeah, someone might have just gone, no. You know, they didn't mean to. I've literally been in the crowd of that show and had someone whisper,

a stranger whisper an answer to me. Exactly. I don't know you. Yeah. So this is from Wikipedia.org about james plaskett and he really believes they're innocent he says or this is him talking to ronson it says plaskett argued this was an example of coughs caused by unconscious triggers widock or others had simply coughed involuntarily upon hearing the correct answer widock was also accused of having coughed after

ingram when he mentioned an incorrect option to his penultimate question and swiftly following that up with a smothered, no. However, Plaskett, who had sat in the very same seat, argued that someone might have audibly said it in response to an incorrect option in the same way that other waiting contestants have been known to whisper no. Like, apparently that's a thing that happens. No, that's not right. Ronson said, as I read Plaskett's essay, I kept thinking, yes, yes,

but what about that piece of prosecution evidence? Then he would get to it and cast doubt on it. I can tell you, having sat through every day of the trial, he has not left out a single piece of prosecution evidence. So he's like, he took them down one by one. And a lot of them are things we've talked about through the episode. But you go, I mean, is there anything that really stands out that makes them definitely seem guilty to you?

It's the no. Yeah, the no. A cough that sounds like a word. Yes. And the way he really did change his answer. Yeah. To me. Especially those last two. Those last two are a did change his answer. To me. Especially those last two.

Those last two. The two of gold. I don't even know what that is. Actually, I think it. I've ruled out the others. Have you? How? There's no reasoning.

But like you said, maybe he was just a bit of a strange guy with how he presented himself. And he's not saying all the words he's thinking in his mind about it. Yeah. Necessarily so. Yeah. I think, to me, at the very least enough doubt that you can't go definitely guilty. And I believe that they're caught like ours.

It's like beyond reasonable doubt. I think that's what the level was meant to get to. So why not like, yeah, maybe it should have been not guilty but they didn't get the money, you know? Yeah. Yeah, because there probably would be a clause in every contestant that it's up to the production company

has the right to void any winner. I think there's also a rule that and often that if the episode isn't aired, then you don't have to pay. So they'd say we're never airing that. I think that's always in the contract. So they'd be like it's too sus, we're not going to air it. And maybe then he countersues or something.

Yeah. And it goes on, I don't know. But, yeah, I think, yeah, that seems fairer maybe. Definitely does seem like there's enough, especially when you go here are other instances on different episodes where there's been a lot of coughs on that answer. And, yeah, you know, you've pointed out some coughs, but there were 100 more throughout the entire show.

Like, that doesn't, it's just not strong enough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, obviously, it just feels like the punishment has far outweighed the crime, even if it was a crime they committed. Yeah, so it's just a very strange one. It's so sad how their lives are going after.

It's like they haven't really been able to get work. He hasn't been able to get a job. I think last I saw they were making ends meet by Diana was selling handmade jewellery at markets. Oh, wow. They go around these markets together. She's like we make sometimes we make a lot of money but you got to sell quite a few to get cover costs so

there's days we don't make any money at all it's like oh it's brutal which makes sense why they might be going on the reality shows it's not like some people might be like oh because they're 15 minutes of fame they're probably just trying to yeah that's. That's right. I need to work. I need to do something. In quiz, they're offered hundreds of thousands of dollars to exclusively admit their guilt to a paper, and they didn't take it, which you'd think, oh, we're guilty. We've found out we need this money.

But even then going, no, we're not going to take it. All these sort of things just make me think there's enough doubt there and it seems like that's 20 years ago whenever it was everyone was thinking definitely guilty and now it seems like because of this show and other things there's a lot more shades of gray around it yeah hmm yeah so yeah do you have a gut feeling no i mean mine's craig dave all the way along very much going look at these bloody cheaters but then yeah you get more of that evidence and you're like i've absolutely flipped and flopped over here yeah so maybe we understand him a little more um with the flip flopping yeah that's right I can see how you go. D. No, definitely D. A. Put it in. A.

It's A. Yeah, I don't know. I will go with the last thing I thought, which is probably not guilty. Yeah, I just think enough doubt. Yeah. It's sus. It's sus as hell. Yes.

But, yeah, there's enough doubt in there to go. But, yeah, it didn't get aired. Just don't give them the money. Yeah, that's right. Then, like, who's hurting? Even if they are guilty 100%, we know that. The behaviour that was given to them afterwards is completely uncalled for. Absolutely unwarranted. No matter what

they did. Yeah. Wow. I just looked at the clock. This is this may be the longest episode we ever do. This is the longest ever report ever. And that's what we do for Block. And that's the number one topic right there. You've done it justice, Matt. What a great report, honestly.

Thank you so much. Well done. What a roller coaster. What an absolute ride that was. Thanks so much for sticking with me. Well, when it was like, it's one of the rare times where we know what the topic's going to be in advance because we've got to divvy up the vote.

And when this came in at number one, like last year, I was like, is this really the most popular topic? Yeah. Now having heard it. Yeah. That was an epic, epic story. And I do recommend watching Quiz if you get the chance. If nothing else for that dream boat, Matthew McVeigh did another. Oh, my goodness.

A lead role. Someone's got to get on Wikipedia and change that further. It's the type of report that we love where it's like, you know, some of it's a bit funny because you're laughing at people, but then there's some intrigue. It's great. Good stuff. Well done.

So now it is time for everyone's favourite section of the show. We've got that little report I put together out of the way, which I believe is the longest we've ever done. But now it's time for a little bit more show. And in this section of the show, we'd like to thank a few of our great supporters. Without them, we would not be able to make this podcast happen. We haven't missed a week for now over six years, which some people say is a pretty good effort.

Not me. I just think it's the base level. Have a break. And we say, fuck you. Not me. I just think it's the base level. Some people say, have a break. And we say, fuck you. How dare you. I kill breaks. How fucking dare you. And just look at those other podcasts you download

and think, fucking weak dogs. Oh, we've done 100 episodes. No one cares. Anyway, so we'd like to thank some of these supporters in friendlier ways than that. We're lovely people. Humble.

It's like they're caring about us. Hey, you guys really should have a break. No, fuck you. Fuck you. How dare you? I put all of my self-worth in that. We've never had a break. But anyway, these people we're going to talk about now

have kept us going. You can support us, if you like, at dogoandpod.com or patreon.com slash dogoandpod. There's all sorts of rewards on there. You can get bonus episodes. There's now over 130, maybe? Yes, 130 bonus episodes, including the most recent one. I put out a block special, which is a report,

a follow-up to my two-part JFK episode, going through the rest of the so-called Kennedy Curse. So good. Third part of the triptych. That's out there right now on the Patreon or through our website if you're interested. Very excited to hear that because we're about to record it. Instant classics, I'm going to say.

But, yeah, there's all sorts of different awards. The Facebook group, the community is such a nice place to be. It's really got me through some lockdown times. And I checked in with it, I reckon, while I was writing this report regularly. Someone even called me out on it because I said, I'm just writing next week's report. And they're like, wait, is this why you've been posting a lot today? Yeah.

Yeah, that's right. That is part of my process. Shut up. So the first thing we like to do as we thank our supporters is we do the fat quote or question section which has a little jingle i think go something like this fat quote or question brag or suggestion i always remembers the ding and uh to get involved in this you sign up up on one of those two websites I just mentioned. At the Sydney Schaumburg level, you get pretty much all the rewards at that level. But one of them is giving us a fact or quote or a question.

I read out four each week. The first one comes from Austin Horst. And everyone gets to give themselves a title. Austin's given themselves a title, King of Forgetting to Submit a Fact, Quote or Question. Oh, my lord. I'm afraid on a technicality, we're going to have to strip that title from you right now. Yeah, instant stripping. So Austin's asking a question, and it goes like this.

Hey, guys, hope all is well. It's been a while since I've sent in a submission. I keep forgetting until Matt reads them out each week. I make a mental note and then get distracted and forget until the next week. Luckily, Matt sent out a reminder this week. Thanks, Matt. Hey, no worries, Austin. My question is, do you guys have a movie and or book that you love to reread or rewatch?

Austin has answered the question. Like, we love it when people ask a question. Yes. But they answer the question. Do you want me to read the answer first? What do you think? Or have you got something? I've instantly thought of The Rock, the movie.

Oh, yeah. Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage. So easy to watch. Used to come up on TV a lot, and now I just watch it on my own time. Yeah, that's a movie I love, but I haven't seen it in so long. I reckon I would enjoy it more now. It's just good fun. There's not many movies that I can really watch and re-watch, I don't think.

But I have been re-listening to some, what's Steve Coogan's character called? Alan Partridge. Alan Partridge. His autobiography, I, Partridge, I'm listening to for the second time. I just like to listen to it as I'm going to sleep. Also his podcast, From the Oust House, also I've listened to a few times, which I really enjoy. As a kid I watched Teen Wolf a lot though.

I remember that. I watched that heaps. Yeah, I haven't reread books for a long time because I just don't read as much as I used to. But as a teen I read um Looking for Alla Brandy and On the Jellico Road both by Melina Marchetta read those over and over and over again loved them and they stay with you remember a lot a lot about them yeah and I I was thinking recently I'd like to reread but I'm scared it'll be shit and it'll ruin that nostalgia so yes not sure what to do there as for tv TV and movies, though, I'm a big anxious person.

Lots of anxiety and depression. So a real comfort is re-watching things. I don't like new things because I don't know what's going to happen. So I re-watch the same TV shows all the time. I re-watch movies a lot. Casino Royale I'd watch a few times a year. Clueless. Those sorts.

Just like nostalgic classic films, I'll watch them all the time. James Bond didn't have much of an idea in Casino Royale. I agree. He was a bit clueless. Thank you. Thank you so much. Casino Royale, clueless. God, he was clueless. Thank you. Thank you so much. Clueless.

God, he was clueless. I mean, you said it in a weird tone, but I agree. He was clueless. Yeah, I watched Clueless a lot as a kid as well, I reckon. Yeah, just rewatch that. I love sunny movies like that as well when I'm feeling a bit down. Anything that seems like it's in California. In my mind, California is blue skies, colourful clothes.

All year round. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So I re-watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Kimmy Schmidt, Parks and Rec, 30 Rock. Like I just re-watch shows constantly. You have to really push me to watch something new, particularly in lockdown. I'd be like, what are we going to watch? And my boyfriend would be suggesting things and I'd be like, no, what if we just watch

a movie I've seen many times? And does he re-watch them too? Sometimes. Usually I re-watch alone because he's like, we've seen this many times. I'm like, oh yeah, well, shut up. Yeah, I think I find it hard to watch things again. Does that mean I don't have anxiety? No, not necessarily. I thought I might have hard to watch things again. Does that mean I don't have anxiety? No, not necessarily.

I thought I might have. No, yeah. No, you don't have anxiety and everything is good. That's great. I mean, I'm self-diagnosed. I could self-undiagnose. Yeah, exactly. You're the doctor.

Kill it. Yeah. Why do you think I wear this self-scope? It looks great on you. I listen to my heart and I say, all better. Austin answers the question saying, for me, I read the Harry Potter series at least once a year and my friends and I do a Lord of the Rings extended edition marathon

every January. Both are really fun, well-developed worlds that I love revisiting. The Lord of the Rings extended edition marathon every January. Oof. Both are really fun, well-developed worlds that I love revisiting. Love the pod. Sorry, I just saw the oof. I got it on delay. Is that what? I don't know.

I'm just saying that I was like, ooh, extended editions, that's a long, that's a good marathon. But then I was thinking, I was just going to ask you, hey, Matt, who's your favourite Lord of the Rings character? Oh, mine's a scientist. Oh, no, it's got to be Giblets. And my action. It's funny every time it says Giblets. I've never seen it, but I still enjoy it.

Austin says, both are really fun, well-developed worlds that I love revisiting. Love the pod. I look forward to the new episode every week. Thank you so much, Austin. Well, thanks, Austin. That are really fun. Well-developed worlds that I love revisiting. Love the pod. I look forward to the new episode every week. Thank you so much, Austin. Thanks, Austin. That's really nice. Next one comes from Katie Clays, who I believe is a first-time,

in fact, quote, or questioner. Welcome aboard, Katie Clays. Katie has given themselves a title, the Lizard Queen. I am the Lizard Queen, which is a Simpsons reference, right? That's Lisa at Duck World. Thanks, doctor. Oh, I'm not a doctor. That could be me.

Self-taught. Self-taught, self-diagnosed. I do it all. Katie writes a question. When my friends and I go camping, we play a game where we describe our poos. Oh, I'm going to enjoy this. We describe our poos using two words. Example, muddy Sunday, chilly burn, acidic slug, et cetera.

Sorry, just gagging. Camping poos are always a bit dicey, so it makes the game a bit more fun. So my question to you all is if you could describe your last shit in two words, what would your two words be? Fat hog. I mean, I obviously thought this is where her question was going and I really hoped it would be like, what's a game you and your friends play? But no.

I should say before you answer, Jess, Katie, I don't know how long you've been listening, but a gentleman never shits. So having chat, obviously don't have a name for it. Sounds like your two words are no comment. No comment or Harry Houdini. Okay, mine, fine, thanks. That is good. That is good.

That does sound like a real fun game to play around dinner time. You could just see me pushing the plate away from the campsite. I think I'm actually okay. I think I'm going to turn in. It's still light out. I'm going to turn in. Unexpected delivery. Thank you very much for that, Katie Clays.

That was a real, yeah. Nightmare. No, I mean, it was a beautiful question and very well asked. Yeah. Very visceral. I think you're probably just a bit jealous, aren't you? Because the gentleman never shits. Yeah.

Jeez, how do you do it? And you're naming each one. Puff of smoke. That's three words. It's good in a way. Like it is important to keep, you know, to be aware of your bowel movements. I can tell you a lot about general health. Yeah, what's that scale? Isn't there some sort of number scale?

The Bristol stool scale. How do you fucking know that? Just knows everything. I did some stand-up on it one time. And then I remember after I did the bit, Matt, you were there. And up the back you said, David Quirk said to you, this is disgusting. I don't remember that, but I love it. I might have put my words in David Quirk's mouth somehow.

And then David Quirk said. Yeah, not me. I loved every second of it. The thing I abandoned the bit after that. I was like, I really respect David. Oh, no! Oh, I'm sorry. I should not have passed that info on. And then I quit comedy that day.

I was wondering why you haven't been funny for so long, Dave. Next one comes from Alex Batchy or Bache or Bache or Bashi. Baki? B-A-C-H-Y. Alex is...

Baki. Baki. Alex is the vice president of fun. Bracket. An actual position I hold at my job. Bracket. Holy shit. That can't be true.

Vice president of fun? I hope we find out more in Alex's fact. When I say bracket, I remember a while back Americans say parentheses. In case you were going, what the hell are you talking about? Alex writes, this is a fact.

I really want you all to come to Pittsburgh on your American tour. I'd love you to go to Pittsburgh. Go Penguins. To hopefully convince you to come to my favourite city, I will give you some facts about Deberg. Fact one of many. As in Chris?

Chris Deberg. Lady in Red? Don't pay the ferryman? Is this where Chris Deberg is from? They renamed it in his honour. I don't know why. Long time coming. I think that's one of my, it's nowhere near as fun as some of the names,

but I love it so much. Chris DeBerg. It's the best celebrity's name. Yeah. Hi, I'm Chris. And he's such an unlikely looking pop singer. Yes. Oh, the eyebrows.

Incredible. Incredible brow. Incredible brow work. Transcender on that brow. So anyway, Alex writes, fact one of many, Pittsburgh has more bridges than any other city in the world, including Venice, Italy! No.

That's a lot of bridges. That's a lot of bridges. We are home to 446 bridges. Thanks for all the fun. The way I was setting up was a fact one of many, but that's, I guess, we'll hear more later. Great stuff. I love the sizzle of more to come.

Yeah, it's nice to start a campaign like that. That's good. And to have a theme because I know it must be hard sometimes to come up with facts, quotes, questions, suggestions, or brags or suggestions. Jess, you love bridges. Am I right? Jeff Bridges. Oh, sorry, you love brags or suggestions. Jess, you love Bridges. Am I right? Jeff Bridges.

Oh, sorry. You love the Bridges family. And I love the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Every other bridge can get fucked. Speaking of great eyebrows, isn't Jeff Bridges' brother a guy with banging brows? What's his name? I have no idea. Jeff.

Dave, you help me out here? Jeff Bridges is in the actor yeah jeff bridges brother beau bridges man check out beau bridges brows beau bridges man he's got great brows oh damn oh my goodness i've just had it load on my screen too oh a couple of caterpillars right there. That is great stuff. Well, like maybe even above Sandy Cohen level brown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it probably goes

Bowbridge is Sandy Cohen, Christaburg. Christaburg. Christaburg. Thank you so much. That's a great fact, Alex Bechet. But yeah, you always talk about, maybe, did you talk about loving the Sydney Harbour Bridge? Yeah.

Or am I making that up? Yeah, I love the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Imagine going to a city with 446 bridges. But are they as beautiful and majestic as the Sydney Harbour Bridge? I can only assume. Okay, then. Well, they can be there. Thank you so much, Alex.

And finally this week from Izakio, who – yes, I forget, Alex Bechet, Vice President of Fund, and Izakio, third in charge store manager of the Dugoan Membrabilia Emporium. Great to have you here. Yeah. I think I added a B in early there, Membrabilium. Memorabilia. That's a hard word to say. What's that B for?

That's a typo. Izakio writes, oh, question. When you were young and yet to have your optimism and imagination beaten out of you, what career did you imagine you would be doing when you were an adult? I can tell you that right now. Professional game show contestant. Yep.

Pro basketballer. I've got to mention this on the show before, but I found in a box a grade four card. We had to write like a future thing, and it has a drawing of me with a moustache. Oh, my God. Whoa. I've ticked that one off.

The other one was, and I was. You're wearing a hat. Oh, my God. Professional basketballer by day. Yes. Rockstar by night. The perfect combo. That's a great combo. I haven't quite tricked off either of those but still time. That's okay. In year

seven, these were the options I had for myself. Pro basketball. I'm only five foot seven. Don't know what I was thinking there. Waiting for the growth spread. That's all. Yeah, any day now. It's about that hard I think. Any day now. Actress or nurse? I've done none of those. You've acted.

I've acted. You've acted. You've nursed me back to health. I have done that. I thought we said we'd never speak of that again. Mine genuinely in primary school was archaeologist. That's cute. Really big.

Indiana Jones. Big part of it. Indiana Jones and the mummy. Yeah. Very influential on the young David. I remember at one point I wanted to be an architect because I love drawing. Yeah. And I asked adults, I'm like, what's a job you can do where you draw?

And they said architecture. Not illustrator or artist. So they're like, that was the environment I grew up in. Graphic design. There was no possible chance of doing anything creative. You just had to get a job. Yeah. So funny.

It must have been so weird in the 1700s growing up then. It took me so long to get here. You know, now you would, if a young person asked you, hey, old timer, what's something I could do with my little crayons? You'd say, well, young whippersnapper, you can create worlds. Zakiya writes, how close or far off the mark were you? I'd say quite a way off. Yeah.

Oh, apart from the moustache. Both of you are about a foot and a half off your dream. Yes. And for me, I am a qualified archaeologist. Yeah. So there you go. We nailed it. Thank you so much for that question, Zakia.

Do you think there's many people that achieve their childhood dream? I was watching a JFK documentary for The Report a few weeks ago, and there was someone who met him, like a kid who left school that day, shook his hand or something on one of the many parade routes. And he was like eight years old. And JFK asked him, what do you want to be when you grow up? And he said, I want to be a pilot. And then it cuts back to the guy.

And then his little super in the corner comes up with his name and it says, Captain James. Like he went on to actually, what? It was a great reveal. Yeah, I'm sure it does happen a bit. Because I think some people just know what they want to do and they believe in themselves. But also, like, I mean, you know,

your life takes so many weird twists and turns. Like, when I first went to uni, I didn't get into the course I really wanted to do. So my first year I was, like, doing other stuff. And then I was looking around at other unis of what I could transfer and go do. And I was very seriously looking at paramedicine. Like I could have been a paramedic.

Yeah, right. But I chose something else instead and now here I am. Like I wouldn't have done comedy, I wouldn't have done radio, I wouldn't have met you guys if I was a paramedic. It's kind of cool. Yeah, it's like full-on sliding doors moments. Yeah, would have been closer to the nurse thing though. That's true.

At least I would have made you seven, Jess, happy, but whatever. Dave, you were stuck in Egypt, but luckily got out very quickly. I broke that curse. Okay. So, yes, thank you to our Fat Quota questioners. If you want to get involved in that, like I say, sign up to the Sydney Scheinberg level. If you want to get a shout out, which we're about to do,

for some other listeners, jump on at the, I think it's Sydney Scheinberg level. If you want to get a shout-out, which we're about to do for some other listeners, jump on at the, I think it's the Ask Prod level or above, and we shout out a few of our great supporters. Jess, do you know we have a little game that we can play with their names based on the topic of the day? Yeah, so I was thinking it could be their specialty topics. Oh, great. Like they would be, you know, you would call them for this particular.

Good idea. Yes, they're the phone a friend, what topic. I love it. And somehow we can work it off where they're from or their name. Somehow we can work it through. That would be great, which is going to be tricky for the first one because from address unknown, I'd love to thank Tim Randall. Tim Randall.

Expert on that very old TV show, Randall and Tim Randall. Expert on that very old TV show, Randall and Hopkirk Deceased. Do you have any idea what that is? No. I didn't even know shows could die. A British TV show. It's a private detective

who is haunted by Hopkirk who is dead but no one else can see. Look, I'm loving it. Yeah, I mean. And a little bit hating it. Yeah. Depends on if they're pulling it off or not.

They probably are. It lasted one season. Okay, they didn't pull it off. But for some reason it was on Nick at Night on Nickelodeon when I was a kid where they just played old TV shows. It's not like Gilligan's Isle and the Addams Family, but one of them was Randall of Coke Deceased. Tim, an expert in that.

Also, I mean, obviously from the Fortress of the Moles. And I, for one, would like to, what do you normally say, Dave? Praise their evil overlord. Yeah, I'd love to praise their evil overlord. It's not evil at all? I wouldn't say evil, though. That's Dave's word. If the moles ever do rise up, that was Dave.

We welcome you. Yeah, our benevolent overlords. Thank you so much, Tim. I'd also love to thank from, let me say, Brie or Bray in California, where it's always blue skies and sunny, Brandon Kilpatrick. Kilpatrick Oysters. Oh, okay. Is that a thing? Yeah, oysters with bacon bits is a Kilpatrick. Kilpatrick oysters. Oh, okay. Is that a thing?

Yeah, oysters with bacon bits is a Kilpatrick. Right. So that's it. But I think more broadly, Brandon's specialty is oysters. He just knows all about them. He knows when to shuck them. Yeah. He knows when to leave them alone.

Yeah. Yeah, he can sense it. Should I shuck or should I go? Yeah. Yeah. He knows the answer. He knows the answer. He knows the answer to that. And he knows if you shuck, they're an aphrodisiac.

You may end up fuck. Yeah. You're going to end up fuck. Wow. You're going to end up. Shucking leads to fucking. Shucking leads to fucking. That's got to be a thing already.

Thank you so much, Brandon. He's on the other end. Yeah, lock in B. Shucking leads to fucking. And finally, I'd love to thank Oh from God's country Cincinnati, Ohio Andrew Hetrick

Ooh Andrew Hetrick Hetrick Cincinnati they're the Bears Is it the Cincinnati No Cincinnati Bengals I think in the NFL Tigers Tigers

So maybe is that a Is that a potential Cincinnati Sin City. Is that, yeah, what else do we know about Cincinnati? But it's in Ohio, God's country. Maybe he's a Bible expert. Oh, yes, okay. Or maybe, yeah, maybe Bengal Tiger expert.

Is that all about, yes. I think Tiger expert. Because there's a few types. Yeah, that's right. But Bengal, maybe that all about it? Yes. I think tiger expert. Because there's a few types. Yeah, that's right. But Bengal, maybe that's his favourite. Yes. But out of stretch, he knows more than most. Yep.

It is the Bengals. Yes. Apparently the baseball team are the Reds. So he's also a colour expert. Thank you so much to Andrew Hetrick, tiger expert. May I thank some people? I would love it so much if you could. I would love to thank from Richmond, VA.

Virginia? Luna. Shout out to you, Luna. All the moons. The moons of the solar system. Yeah, there's so many of them. There's heaps. There's so many.

Jupiter's got dozens. And that would be great because it would be like, what's the biggest moon on Jupiter? And you'd be like, I don't fucking know. I'll call Luna. Yeah. And Luna's like, duh. I know moons.

I know moons. Also knows Lunar Park. Yeah. And all the Lunar Parks around the world. So many of them. I know. There are a few, aren't there? There's at least two.

There's at least two. There's at least two. But I think there's ones outside of Australia. No. Okay. We won't allow it. And you know what? Dad always found this funny when we were kids. Luna Park backwards.

Anal crap. Have you? I laughed. Didn't know what anal meant, but still. Dad said crap. One of those jokes I got much later. Dad said crap. That's funny, Dad. Love you, Dad. I of those jokes I got much later. Dad said crap. That's funny.

Dad, love you, Dad. I mean, it'd really be crap anal, wouldn't it? Yeah, it'd be crap anal. Which is possibly funnier. No one wants crap anal. That's awful. Okay. Thank you, Luna.

I'm desperate to move on. I would also love to thank, from Glasgow, Jasmine Linderman. Oh, there's a lot to work with here. Linderman, isn't that a famous box wine company? Goon? Goon Bags? Oh, vino expert. Yeah, vino expert.

A sommelier. Yeah, I've never known how to say that word. Jasmine probably knows a lot about Beaujolais. Oh, she'd love a Beaujolais. One of the most expensive wines in that restaurant you two were at before. I mean, prove that that's wrong. That restaurant they were in at their minds? Yeah.

That was the most expensive one. That was the only one they had. It was a Beaujolais. The markup on it was horrendous. Or their expensive wines. One of the two. We're not sure. They bought a $4 bottle and they're selling it for $2,000.

They saw you coming. And we're like, perfect, we'll have eight of them. You have walked in with your novelty check. We need to spend this. Help us. So thank you, Jasmine. I would also love to thank, again, from Address Unknown, Mariko. Oh, Mariko.

Sounds like a big organisation. Mari biscuits. You know those ones that you crush down to make your cake bases? I also have an Auntie Mari, and every time we had Mari biscuits to make cheesecake base, I'd always think, like, these are Mari's biscuits. That's nice. This is for my Auntie Mari.

What about a Bicky expert? Oh, expert in Biccy's. Knows what goes well with what. So you've got like an Earl Grey, know what Biccy goes well with. Coffee. Hot chocolate. Mariko knows the Biccy of choice.

Love that. An important job. Somebody's got to do it. An important job. Difficult to have a trivia question about. But still, I'll be calling you Mariko. She knows all the facts as well. What do you pair this mint tea with?

Well, probably I'd say a chocolate mint biscuit Double mint Oh my god, mint slice I never would have thought that worked Double mint The chewing gum didn't lie I would also love to thank a few people if I may

Please And first of all, a big shout out to Stoke on Trent because that is the location for Katie Heath. Katie Heath. Katie Heath. Heath Ledger. Yes. Heath Ledger expert.

That's a good expert. Wow. All these movies back to back. Yep. And all the character names, biographies of each character. Amazing. It's pretty full on. What did he win an Oscar for posthumously?

Would be probably one of the easier questions. Two hands. I mean, technically, that was part of the performance. Have to pay it. He had two hands as the Joker. So thank you, Katie Heath. I would love to also thank from another address. Oh, no. another address unknown.

Destination unknown. No, no, no, no, no, no. From the Fortress of the Moles, it's Daniel Pilgard. Pilgard. Pilgard. Pils, one of the early beer styles, I think, or it's like a Czech style of beer. Pils from the town of Pilsen. And Daniel Pilgard is an expert in it.

So maybe it's his family's job to guard that type of beer over the generations. That's right, and he's using that knowledge to his advantage on quiz shows. Well, as you should. You'd have to know all the other beers as well just to know what yours isn't. That's right. So true, yeah. So many questions can be answered with what isn't it. You know what I mean?

Like what is love? Sure, but what isn't it? A dog? A dog is not love. Have to pay it. Actually, no, my dog is love. Thank you. So thank you, Daniel Pilgarden.

And finally from me, I'd like to thank from Eton in Western Australia, it's Adam Damati. Adam Damati. Eton, it's got it's Adam Damati. Adam Damati. Eton, it's got to be food-based. Yep. Damati, Smarties. Smartie, yeah. Smartie expert.

Smartie expert. Just confectionery in general. Jeez, he's setting himself up, though. Chris Tarrant will absolutely have a go. Hey, not so smarty after all that sort of stuff. You get it wrong, it's a real risk. And Eddie does it, and you're like, and he goes, huh, huh? And you're just on the phone and you go, fuck you, Eddie.

Fuck you, Eddie. Fucking hate you, Eddie. I want to phone a friend for the million dollar question. I just want to let you know I'm about to win the million dollars and fuck Eddie McGuire. Fuck him. So, yeah, thank you so much to Adam, Daniel, Katie Mariko, Jasmine, Luna, Andrew

Brandon and Tim the last thing we like to do is shout out a few of our long term supporters they've been on board for three straight years at the shout out level or above these people are being inducted into what we like to call the triptych club now in this club it's a beautiful

space come in there's lounges there's booths, there's lounges, there's booths, there's a spa out the back. There's booths. You can get a massage in certain areas. There's a second deck with whatever you like. Anything you need. And Jess, you normally have a cocktail or a food or something? Yeah, I do.

What's the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire cocktail involved? It's blue. Yep. Expensive colour. Yeah. I do. Topic race. What's the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire cocktail? It's blue. Yep. Expensive colour. Yeah. It's hard to get that. It goes with the colour theme of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Lots of blue there. So it's essentially a fruit tingle. Just more of a purple but it's like

heavy on the blue. Cacao? Yeah. Cacao! We always called it Caracaraccio because we couldn't, we didn't know how to say it. Caracaraccio. I'm not at all confident of what I said. You said cacao. Is that wrong? Yes.

Oh, yeah. Caracayo. That's closer. Okay. I think. And it's like a Long Island iced tea in that I've just shoved the whole stuff in there. You kind of flavour it. It's going to fuck you up though.

So good. In the same way that we say fuck you to Eddie McGuire this drink is going to fuck you. It's good course. And Dave, you normally book a band? Yes, and I have booked this week the rapper Chameleon Air.

Oh, Chameleon Air? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's actually the Chameleon Air Tribute Act. Chameleon Air. Oh, Chameleonaire? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, it's the Chameleonaire Tribute Act. Chameleonaire. We have to emphasize cha for legal reasons. Perfect. An amazing save. What was Chameleonaire's big song again?

Lil Flip? No, sorry. Rhydon. Grammy-winning hit with Lil Flip, number one. Grammy-winning. Is that Rhydon Dirty? R-winning. Is that Riding Dirty? Riding. Is that the song?

It says something about obviously putting up some pretty good credentials here, my music knowledge. Put me up. I'll answer all your hip-hop hit questions. So what have we got? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight inductees this week. You can do it, Dave. I'm standing at the door.

I've got the clipboard. I'm going to read out the names. Once I read out your name, you run on in. The crowd, all the people already involved are standing around ready to clap you in, make you feel right at home. Dave's on the mic. He's going to hype you up, make you feel right at home. It's a real buzz.

Then Dave, obviously this takes a lot out of him, so Jess is there to build him up as well, give him a little zhuzh. You got this, Dave. Eight's easy. easy peasy. It'll be over in no time and you're going to smash it. And I should say, if you're a first-time listener, well done for making it this far, Dave will make a very solid, I think, pun based on either the place name or the name name.

At least an attempt. Yes. All right. So you ready to go? I believe so. So, welcoming in to grab yourself who wants to meet a millionaire cocktail.

Get ready to see Shamillionaire performing the hits of Camillionaire. Firstly, from Sandy Springs in, I think, Georgia the United States, it's Chris Gallineck. Oh, Chris from Sandy Springs and Dave Shandy Bring. Yes!

Give him a shandy. He's going to have a shandy. From Milton Keynes in Great Britain, it's Ben Johnson. Oh, Ben, I'll give you the Milton Keys to the city. And to my heart. Yeah, and to the club. Go on in. Let yourself in, mate.

Look at you nailing it. It's funny. It's something about trivia because he came up on stage with me at one of our live shows to be my trivia partner, Ben Johnson, from memory. That's right. From Dagenham in Essex, Great Britain, it's Carol Gervais. Oh, Carol's got me caroling all night. Yes.

From Newtown in Sydney, New South Wales, it is Christopher Beaumont. Oh, Newtown. More like U-Town. We're so welcoming of you. Yes. From London in Great Britain, it's Kayleigh Noakes. More like Kayleigh Stoked, you hear? Yes, Dave.

From Roscabury in Cork in Ireland, it's John Collins. John Collins, here's a Tom Collins, a cocktail I've made for you. Okay. From Ashburton in Victoria, Australia, it's Maria Korotik. Maria, you're from Ashburton, but I feel flush with Cashburton now you're here. You make me feel rich. That is good. Sorry about the pronunciation there, Maria.

And finally from Cattonsville in Maryland, MD, United States, it's Kevin Alban. Ooh, more like Heaven Alban. Maryland, MD, United States, it's Kevin Albin. Oh, more like Heaven Albin. Welcome in, Kevin, Maria, John, Kaylee, Christopher, Carol, Ben and Chris. And make yourselves at home. Let's party. Let's get dirty.

Let's get weird. Hey, thank you so much to everyone that supports the show. We absolutely love each and every one of you. If we could shout out to you all in one episode, we would. In fact, consider this a shout out to all of you. Jess, anything we need to say before we bring Block to an official close? Oh, man. I mean,

what a time we've had. Thank you for joining us for this extra long Block. But we'll be back next week with, you know, topics that are equally fantastic and a lot of fun. So I've already picked my topic and I think you'll like it. Okay. I love

that sizzle. Bit of sizzle. If you want to get in touch with us, you can do so at dogoonpod.com where you can find Tickets to Live shows, merch, which is currently unavailable. You can make a suggestion. You can join Patreon, all of that sort of fun stuff

if you want to email us you can email us at dogoonpod at gmail.com and dogoonpod on all social media well that about says it all thank you so much one and all for supporting us this year for Block 2021 we'll be back with Block 2022 next year but plenty of episodes coming between now and then

but until then happy Blockmas everyone happy Blockmas everyone thank you Happy Blockmas. Happy Blockmas, everyone. Thank you, and until next week, goodbye! No! No! Bye! We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water.

We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.