Do Go On - 332 - The Fast And The Furious (with Michelle Brasier)
Episode Date: March 2, 2022We're joined by award winning actor, writer, comedian and friend, Michelle Brasier, to learn the entire plot of the Fast And The Furious franchise.Buy tickets to our four live podcasts in Melbourne, S...undays in April at 8:45pm at the European Bier Cafe:https://www.trybooking.com/BXSIV Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic See Do Go On Th Quiz Show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/the-quiz-show See Matt and Alasdair at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/honk-honk-hubba-hubba-ring-a-ding-ding See Michelle perform in Melbourne, Sydney, Perth, Adelaide, Gold Coast and Brisbane: https://www.michellebrasier.com/tourStream our 300th episode with extra quiz (and 16 other episodes with bonus content): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoonCheck out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: dogoonpod@gmail.com Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh.
And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024.
We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club, April 7, 14 and 21.
You can get tickets at dogo1pod.com.
Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country.
That's right. I'm doing shows with Saren Jayamana, who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February, Melbourne through the festival in April,
and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide.
Details for all that stuff at mattstuartcomedy.com.
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Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On.
My name is Dave Warnke and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart.
Hello Dave.
Hello Matt.
Hey Dave.
Hey Jess.
How good is it to be alive?
It is.
Stop trying to make that your catchphrase.
And it is great to be alive because this week we are joined by a very special guest, our dear friend Michelle Brazier. It's good to be alive. It's my catchphrase. And it is great to be alive because this week we are joined by a very special guest, our dear friend Michelle
Brazier. It's good to be alive.
That's my catchphrase.
You're welcome to it
honestly. Thank you so much. It actually
really works for Michelle.
You've got a real zest for life. Yeah, thanks.
People stop me in the street. They go, say it,
say it. And I go, how good is it to be alive?
And they go, she said it. They want
me to film it for their Instagram story.
Oh, yeah.
Can you say that website is cameo.com?
Check me out.
$500 a pop, I will say how good is it to be alive.
$500, that's pretty good.
Are you on Cameo?
That is.
Are you?
Are you?
They asked me, they sent me an email and they said, do you want to go on Cameo?
And I said, I don't know.
I talked to some of my friends.
They said, don't do it, Michelle. You're better than that and they said do you want to go on cameo and i said i don't know i talked to some of my friends they said don't do it michelle you're better than that but then whenever somebody
whenever somebody messages me and says oh my brother's sick and he likes you
it's my friend's birthday then i'll just make a video for free like a fucking chump you idiot
i should get on cameo came. If you're already doing it.
Yeah.
You know?
Because how do you say no?
How do you go, oh, no.
No, I don't care about your sick brother.
That's how you do it.
Easy.
That's what I do.
But that's not my brand.
Like I care.
I love to be alive.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
And I'm a rude dude.
Everyone knows.
Everyone knows.
Jess Perkins, rude dude. knows Jess Perkins is a rude dude
She doesn't give no shits
You were banned from Cameo for offending their clientele
I said for 50 bucks I'll tell you to fuck off
I'll do it for free
Look if you are desperate to give us money in exchange for seeing us
You can do that in person
All of us sitting at this table recording this podcast
Because we've got some shows coming up the melbourne comedy festival our quiz show on
monday nights at the melbourne town hall is selling like moderately good hot cakes yeah
like hot cakes where people go it's like a food truck at a at some sort of festival and people go
oh you got some of those hot cakes are they good and you go yeah they're pretty good the saying
never mentions the quality of the hot cakes it I think it just means hotcakes sell.
I don't know what they are.
Pancakes.
Oh, now I understand that saying.
Man, I want to go buy some hotcakes right now.
That's what hotcakes and pancakes are.
What did you think it was?
Like a cake?
Like a chocolate cake that had been heated?
Straight out of the oven.
Like a melting chocolate cake.
Or maybe it is that.
I don't know. No, your thing makes way more sense. Straight out of the oven. Like a melting chocolate cake. Or maybe it is that. I don't know.
Listen, hey.
No, your thing makes way more sense.
I thought they were pancakes.
Anyway.
Anyway.
Dave did a beautiful segue and we fucked immediately.
We derailed that.
Yeah.
So that show is at the Town Hall, April 4, 11 and 18.
And thank you so much to everyone that has bought tickets.
And we are very pleased to announce that we are also around the same time
decided that we're also going at the same time decided that
we're also going to do some live podcasts some live do go on shows so that's the quiz show with
with us and guests which is going to be a lot of fun but the the live podcast we're doing those on
sunday nights at the european beer cafe tickets are on sale now and i believe it is uh 8 45
is the time i believe i think so yeah i don You booked it, Dave. We have no idea.
As we've discovered, my Google calendar is very overwhelming.
So that's April 3, 10, 17 and 24 at the European Beer Cafe.
Just like usual, we're going to do some live podcasts.
You can buy a season pass for a discount where you get four shows for the price of three.
And you can hit up our website, dogoonpod.com
or there's a ticket link in the show notes,
which we'd love to see you there.
And Michelle, people can see you at the Melbourne Comedy Festival
hitting up the big stage.
Oh, yeah, look out.
I tell you what, it is quite a big bit of pressure
to be putting me on that stage, isn't it?
Nah.
No worries.
Yeah, no, I'm performing at the Arts Centre.
That's so cool.
It's very hoity-toity and it's very exciting.
I loved the Arts Centre.
When I first moved to Melbourne, I was like, I'm obsessed.
I lived across from the stage door and I was like, let me in.
Let me be in guys and dolls.
Let me in.
And now they're letting you in.
Yeah, now they're letting me in.
So I'm very excited.
I bet you didn't open with that story though, did you,
when you were booking the venue?
Yeah.
I said to my manager, I said, if they're not interested at first,
let them know there's a great story behind this.
I used to stand by the door and say, let me in.
They're like, oh, we do know her actually.
She's not supposed to come here.
We had a picture of her up in the staff room.
And that's the picture that they're using
for the poster for my new show.
Yeah, I'm very excited. It's just
New show's called Don't Let Her In.
It's got a big cross through your face.
Yeah, it's an
interactive piece where the staff
try and fight me away.
Dunk me out the front of the
National Gallery of Victoria little pool that they've got there.
What is the show actually called?
It's called Reform.
So I'm touring in Melbourne.
I'm doing Reform and then in a bunch of other places I'm still doing Average Bear from last year,
which was award winning and definitely good.
This year it's not finished yet, but it will be good.
It's about getting scammed by a guy online and then becoming his best friend.
And yes, it is a true story.
And I have been speaking to a therapist.
Yes, but has he?
No, he's been speaking to me.
That's the whole point.
That's the whole point.
Which is good for the show.
If you were talking to a therapist,
you wouldn't have any of that material.
No, because if I was a certified therapist, you see,
I'd have to keep it all to myself.
But because I'm not, I'm exploiting.
Who's exploiting who, you know?
Yes, he scammed me and took my money.
But how much is, you know, in ticket sales?
I'm going to recoup.
Now, technically, that's research and that is tax deductible.
It's tax deductible.
That's exactly right.
So, the amount that he's ripped you off,
you will actually be able to claim that.
Yeah, that's fantastic.
So that's good news for you.
Good news.
And one other show that people might have forgotten to mention as well.
Dave, I know Dave's personally excited about it.
There's a show I'm doing with Alistair Trombo Virtual called...
Honk Honk.
Thank you so much.
Hubba Hubba Ring-a-Ding-Ding.
Thank you.
I don't know why that is so hard to remember.
Honk Honk Hubba Hubba Ring-a-Ding-D Thank you. I don't know why that is so hard to remember. Hong Kong Hubba Hubba Ring-a-ding-ding.
Yeah.
It is possibly the best title of the festival.
That is the best title of the festival, absolutely.
It's on the second half of the festival.
I can't remember the venue, but the link is...
He just gave me shit for the time.
The show notes, I think.
And if you look, you just go for all these shows,
go to comedyfestival.com.au and search them.
Apart from our live podcast, which...
I think we left it too late to get in this year.
It's Bard's Apothecary.
That's where I'm on.
Sounds like a magic shop.
I'm on at Bard's Apothecary.
The first he's heard of it.
Yeah.
That sounds great.
It's got nine five-star reviews.
It sounds like a venue that was set up by the guy that Michelle's been chatting to online.
Yeah.
That does not exist.
How much did you pay for it?
I've never heard those words together before.
Has Bard asked you to be his emergency contact?
Because I think this is a similar story.
I'm looking forward to that.
That sounds great.
Apothecary.
Is that right?
Yeah, that's absolutely right.
That's exactly right.
That's an old-timey pharmacy, isn't it?
Yes.
Bard, that's Shakespeare.
This place sounds like it's going to be full of cool people.
So I'm looking forward to getting there.
Good morrow, sir.
May I interest thee in a ticket today?
Anyway,
so we've gone
on a massive sidetrack.
I think I would,
before we go on,
I would say
the coolest people
in the world,
I reckon,
are the people
who are going to have tickets
to all of those shows.
Oh, collect them all.
Imagine getting bingo.
Yeah.
Actually, do you know what?
If you can prove to me
via Instagram
that you got bingo,
I will make a video
for your sick brother.
Wow.
You meet them at the stage door.
Yeah.
If you don't have a sick brother.
And I say, fuck you.
That's fun.
Nah, I would never.
I would never be mean.
Dave, Michelle hasn't been on before.
She might not fully understand how the show works.
I'm always on this podcast.
Oh, my God.
I'm on this podcast every single week.
Well, in that case, do you want to explain it for me, Dave?
Because I've forgotten.
Yeah, we usually, for the first time, we've turned Michelle's mic on.
You see?
Okay.
Always here.
Great to have you actually talking this week.
But what we do here, Matt, is we take it in turns to report on a topic
often suggested to us by one of the listeners.
That person goes away, does a bit of research,
brings it back to the group in the form of a report.
The other three, as it is this week, will sit politely
as Michelle regales us with a report.
And to get us onto your topic, Michelle,
we always start with a question.
Yes.
Do you have a question?
I do.
Okay.
What billion-dollar franchise has just announced Jason Momoa will be joining?
Harry Potter?
No, Dave
Dave?
No, Dave
Are you Dave or are you Matt?
Which one is Jess?
A lot of people do get confused
No, Matt.
Not normally when they're in the room with us, but...
Does it ever happen when they're friends with you in real life?
Does that ever happen or just now?
Yeah, it probably does.
Yeah.
I'm not good with names or faces, so I understand.
Or film franchises, as it turns out.
Harry Potter.
Yeah, no, it's Harry Potter.
He could be a cool wizard.
Some of them had long hair.
And they're doing the
prequels. Oh, so he could
be like Hagrid's hot dad.
Yeah. Yeah, no, they do.
What's the prequels about the guy with the big
bag of dogs?
Oh, what?
There's a prequel where the guy's got a big bag of
magical dogs and stuff. Okay.
Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Do you? I do know exactly what you're talking about. dogs and stuff. Okay. Yeah. I know what you're talking about.
Do you?
I do know exactly what you're talking about.
Please help me out then.
I don't know what you're talking about.
The magical creatures and he's got the little guy.
Yeah.
Fantastic Beasts.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
Yeah.
And then The Crimes of Grindelwald.
Yes.
And then Dumbledore's origin story.
Is that what we're talking about today?
No.
Okay.
Great.
This was a good use of time though.
Don't cut this.
Well, I think I might know the answer.
Okay, go for it.
Okay.
No, wait.
We got an email from one of our listeners, the one who always keeps track of who has
won.
Yeah.
And he's broken it down into each year and I've only won in 2017 really well good
luck because I was gonna say is I really need to start actually jumping in run over the answer also
Jess has been has been on the show the last two weeks so yeah I need this Jason Momoa is gonna
be yeah right he's because didn't Rock, he doesn't like Vin Diesel.
Well, we will get into that.
We will get into that.
Probably in a few hours' time.
In a couple of hours.
This is quite a big franchise.
And I don't know the story at all,
but I just naturally feel like The Rock's probably in the right.
Honestly, I don't know.
I feel like my dads are fighting and I don't know what to do about it.
Yeah, it's hard.
I'm finding it really difficult.
I'm sorry you're going through this challenging time. Thank you. That wasn't me judging Vin Diesel at all. I don't know what to do about it. Yeah, it's hard. I'm finding it really difficult. I'm sorry you're going through this challenging time.
Thank you.
That wasn't me judging Vin Diesel at all.
I don't know anything about it.
Just The Rock seems like a nice man.
Yeah, he's an every dad.
He's everyone's dad.
Yeah.
I love my dad.
Yeah, I love my dad, The Rock.
I love my dad, The Rock.
Dwayne the Dad Johnson.
For anybody who doesn't know this um you
michelle are a big big fan of the fast and furious franchise yeah so i've just been bothering you
guys for a bit saying can i come on and do the fast and the furious well that's a good clue what
you weren't saying that to me yeah no i should have asked you sorry that would have been really
helped me with my guests i wouldn't have wasted our time on Harry Potter before.
Yeah, I'm really sorry about that.
I'm sorry, Matt.
I just thought the Vin Diesel and the Rock,
they have both played weird.
You don't have to say that.
Oh, okay, sorry.
Vin Diesel and Rock,
they both were in kids' movies where they played like,
one played a fairy godmother and another one played like a pacifier.
Yeah.
Is that a coincidence?
Does that come up in the report?
It doesn't come up in the report, so I'm glad you've covered it.
Okay.
Yeah, because people would be emailing in.
I think the Rock plays a tooth fairy and I think Vin Diesel plays a tooth fairy. And I think Vin Diesel plays a babysitter.
It's not as closely tied together as I thought it was.
No, I think he did really good there.
But they're both kids' movies with action stars.
Yeah, exactly.
Arnold Schwarzenegger started it with Kindergarten Cop.
I would say they're movies for the family.
Not even just kids can watch them.
Grown-ups can enjoy them.
Yeah, The Rock could take us to go see The Pacifier on a family day out.
Yeah, I love that from The Rock, my dad.
But anyway, yeah, there is a lot to this franchise.
There is a lot.
And you're obviously very passionate as well.
And you have told us you've written a lot.
I've written so much.
So this is mostly just me trying to get you all up to speed.
Okay.
You, my friends, so that you will come to the cinema and watch Fast 10,
Fast 10,
Your Seatbelts
with...
No.
Is that what they're going with?
That's great.
No, but I'm really hoping
that you will.
Oh my God,
that's so good.
It's not official,
but I'm sure it will,
I'm sure it will be called
Fast 10, Your Seatbelts.
And if not,
they know where to find me.
They know where to find my agent.
Oh, they're definitely
going to go with like
Fast X or something,
aren't they?
Yeah.
I don't think so. And the problem is is not those guys don't wear seat belts they're
better than bar they do wear seat belts sometimes sometimes clever better than none yeah they've got
you know there's a lot going on the safety it's an you know yeah you take the risks you need to
take but yeah so this is i'm just going to tell you guys basically everything that happens in
every goddamn movie and then i'm going to tell you a little bit about that movie
but it's mostly just me retelling the movies so if you haven't seen the movies this is gonna be
great yeah if you have seen the movies i'm not sure if you'll enjoy this or not i reckon you
probably still will well i read the like plot recaps on wikipedia and they're rubbish i did use some of
them yeah but they're they don't even talk about the fun bits so there's a lot of like boring you
can tell when i get excited in this report i think that's so cool that you found that website
wikipedia.org i heard it from listening to the podcast oh right because i only yeah i just only
found it in recent weeks yeah it's amazing amazing. It's incredible. It just has everything you need
to know about the Fast and the Furious.
When you said on the
podcast, and I was sitting in the corner
while we were
recording my podcast, my
mic was off, but you wouldn't have heard me. I was
actually screaming at my iPod.
It was like, oh no.
I love
this website. Wow.
Yeah.
That's why it doesn't record as well because I've just been screaming at my iPhone.
I haven't had a full microphone.
I'm having all these flashbacks to previous recording sessions.
And it's like in the corner of my memories.
There's you sitting there.
Yeah.
Crouched in the corner.
The little gremlin.
I've never noticed before.
Yeah.
She's there.
She's always been there.
Wow.
Always been there. No one remembers when they met me. I never noticed before. Yeah. She's there. She's always been there. Wow. Always been there.
No one remembers when they met me.
Oh, my God.
I don't think I do remember when I met you.
No one actually does, usually.
They're always like, I've known you forever.
I'm like, no, I grew up in Wagga.
You didn't know me.
I wasn't at the formal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You were the prom queen?
No. No. But thank you. I was in Wag Yeah. When you were the prom queen? No.
No.
Thank you.
I was in Walker.
Were you there for my birth?
I think you were there for my birth.
I was there for that.
I was there.
I'll go to everyone's birth.
In the corner.
Yeah.
In the corner.
A gremlin yelling at an iPod.
Anyway, please.
Okay.
All right.
So, The Fast and the Furious, the first film, is based on an article called Racer X.
I love that it's based on an article.
An article.
So it was greenlit before it had a script.
This was like an article and then they wanted to make it into a film
and they were like, yes.
The studio was just like, yes, we will make this into a film
and then they had to write a script, which is like rare.
Yeah.
It's not, you know, an existing comic book.
It's literally just like this article
and yes racer x i just want to say that they've gone with the x so if they do call it fast furious
x that is a throwback yeah maybe that would be good to call it he'll call it fast and the furious
in brackets racer and then x yeah that wouldn't be the most convoluted one they've had what about
i really want to turn your seat belt it's really funny. That's very good.
I loved Jason Momoa in Fast Ten Your Seatbelt.
At the very least, it's got to be like the catchphrase on the poster.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Racer X.
Anyway, Racer X by Kenneth Lee, which was published in Vibe magazine,
which we all know and love.
Love it.
In 1998.
It's about a street racer from Washington Heights,
which sounds like a musical to me um but he made it he's a street racer but he really wants to bake yeah um and then it's sort of like street racing culture in new york in general
in the article it talks about how this is a real melting pot of cultures so there's like people
from the dominican republic there's puertoican people, Chinese, Filipino, Italian.
It's a real cultural melting pot, which is very exciting.
It's reflected in the storytelling of the films, which is actually very progressive and new for when this first film came out.
In the first film, I do say that a lot of the crew are white in the first film, but it changes.
And I will get to that because they die.
There is always a token white guy and maybe, you know, one or two women.
So it was ahead of the times.
That said, there are a lot of tiny girls in skirts at the races and to watch at the car races and to watch these films, you can really see the evolution of what's attractive in a butt.
Yeah.
Like you can see like what butts we liked then
and what butts we like now.
They should do one of those things where the butt just morphs
as time goes on.
Yeah.
Change.
Well, I was thinking about not doing a report and just doing that.
Yeah.
All right.
Now look at this slideshow.
We don't upload a podcast this week.
It's just a short video and you go, I get it.
I actually get it.
Yeah.
Anyway, so it's about butts and it's a huge franchise.
It starts as street racing cars and crime and then it really morphs
into this kind of more large-scale heist movies
and there's a fun group of characters.
It's mostly about family.
Let's dive in um also there is
a 1955 film that is also called the fast and the furious not connected oh they just uh universal
made a deal and got the rights to the title it's about they love that title yeah they loved it it
was going to be called something else that i didn't write down um unfortunately i didn't write
that down so okay i can't tell you what it was. Someone will be yelling that at their iPod, right?
Someone will be yelling.
Oh, yeah.
I do want to say, listen, a lot of the sources for this are Wikipedia
and just what I remember.
So, I don't want you to get mad at me.
Don't get mad at me.
I won't be able to cope with it.
Released in June 2001 and directed by Rob Cohen, The Fast
and the Furious told the story of Brian O'Connor
played by Paul Walker. Heard of him?
Yes. Familiar. His name was Brian
O'Connor? Brian O'Connor.
Brian. Brian. Grandad's
name. Great name. Oh really?
Yeah, love it. Brian O'Connor.
Brian O'Connor. Wow. That's
cool. Was your gran, was Paul Walker
did he play your grandfather as well? Yeah. Oh, incredible. Amazing. That's cool. Was your grand... Was Paul Walker... Did he play your grandfather as well?
Yeah.
Oh, incredible.
Amazing.
That's...
What a weird coincidence.
He's always there, Paul Walker.
Yeah.
In the corner, like a gremlin.
A cop who goes undercover to bust a gang of illegal street racers,
helmed by Vincent Diesel's Dominic Toretto.
Now, Dominic Toretto, even though even though obviously The Rock is all of our dad,
Dominic is really the daddy.
Yes.
Toretto is the dad.
I might refer to him as Dom.
I might refer to him as Toretto.
I might refer to him as Vincent Diesel.
It's one man.
But never the Vin Diesel.
Never Vince the Diesel or the Vin Diesel.
That can't be his real name, right, Vin Diesel?
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I think so.
I believe.
I choose to believe.
You don't want to find out that it's not a name?
I'm much more of a Mulder than a Scully.
I don't think it is his real name and I also believe he has a twin.
He does have a twin.
Wouldn't that be weird?
Yeah.
But so does Paul Walker.
Doesn't Paul Walker have a...
No, not a twin. We'll get to that. We? Yeah. But so does Paul Walker. Doesn't Paul Walker have a... No, not a twin.
Yeah, we'll get to that.
We will get to that.
Mark Sinclair?
What?
I wish I didn't know that.
His name is Mark Sinclair.
Mark Sinclair.
You idiot.
Why have you done this?
I hate it.
I don't want to know that either.
Sorry, everybody.
God.
Hi, Mark.
Nice to meet you.
What?
Mark Sinclair.
How do you do?
But imagine being like, well, that's Mark Sinclair.
We went to high school together.
And him being like, no, I'm called Vincent Diesel.
Oh, man.
That's a real rebrand.
It's really funny.
You have to leave your life behind.
It's basically witness protection.
Yeah.
You can't keep anyone.
No one's going to be like, Mark.
Vin. Vin.
Sorry, are you serious?
Diesel.
So funny.
But anyway, that's his name.
Okay.
And we've got to respect that.
We'll go with that.
You know the musician Diesel?
Yes.
His name's Mark as well.
Is it?
Is there a connection?
What's going on?
What have we uncovered here?
Isn't his real name Mark Lizotte?
I don't know.
But I think we've said too much.
And that brand, Diesel, was originally called Mark.
Careful, careful, careful.
I used to wear Mark jeans.
Diesel with jeans brand.
And I used to just put a guy named Mark into my car.
Throw him in the engine.
Pedal away, Mark.
Pedal away.
It's great.
Speaking of cars, back to the report.
Brian, Brian, falls in love with Toretto's sister, Mia.
He falls in love with her by, he turns up and eats her tuna sandwiches all the time.
And he's just eating these sandwiches.
And Dom's like.
He finishes that sentence. He turns up and eats her. What? I don't remember he's just eating these sandwiches. So I didn't finish that sentence.
He turns up and eats her.
What?
I don't remember that.
Yeah, it's a cannibalism film.
Or a horny one.
Or a horny cannibalism film.
And I think it spans all genres.
It's beautiful.
Armie Hammer is involved.
Yeah.
I heard something about that this week.
This week you heard about that?
Yeah.
Okay.
That was a while ago.
I just told him about Omicron.
Okay.
So don't worry about it.
I've got a lot of terms
muted on Twitter.
Including army hammer.
Cannibalism and army hammer.
Just in case it ever came up.
So he's turning up
just eating her tuna sandwiches.
Is she like locking the door?
What's the situation there, Mia?
No, she likes him.
She thinks it's cute
but she's obviously like,
I know my sandwiches are a bit shit.
Like, it's the milkshake that brings the boys to the yard.
And the milkshakes have changed over the years.
They have changed over the years.
I think what people are looking for in milkshakes has changed over the years.
And that's really a beautiful commentary.
You can see it.
Yeah.
Milkshakes used to be tiny.
Yeah. Milkshakes used to be tiny. Yeah. Now, everyone's getting more milk sucked out of their straw
to put into their milkshake.
It's amazing.
Beautiful.
Wouldn't believe it.
He's Kim Kardashian.
Anyway, she's responsible for a cultural movement.
Could have done the Kardashians.
Didn't.
And so he falls in love with Mia.
He soon finds himself sucked into this world of
dom toredo fast cars and dvd player heists that's what he's undercover to find who's taken these
dvd players they're coming for trucks and i think the first one and it might be one of the only ones
i've seen and remember it's it's they're selling DVDs, but is it also DVD-TV combos?
Yes.
Yes, and DVD-VCR combos.
So there's a bunch of different ones.
You can see the boxes.
You can pause it and, like, zoom in and be like, oh.
Is it product placement-y?
Like, is it pretty obvious?
Yeah, I mean, I can picture it pretty clearly.
So they're muscling grown up for a while,
but I have watched these films quite a bit.
Also, this franchise has a history of doing product placement
without getting paid.
So like they'd always drink Coronas, always drink Corona beers.
And they apparently just have not had a partnership with them.
I was trying to find the information about this.
And they just, and then inexplicably in one film they're drinking bud
wisers and then they're back and they're like well as long as you're drinking a corona and
they're drinking coronas again it's like a whole it's like corona is like you know how like new
york city is a character in sexy coronas are like a character and they're part of the family yeah
yeah yeah anyway dvd player heists brian proves himself to Dom by taking part in a street race.
He narrowly comes second to Dom who uses NOS,
which is also another character in the Nitrous Oxide, I think it's called.
Are they sponsored by NOS?
Is that product placement?
I would say so.
It's like a green thing that I don't know if it's magic or real.
And when they press the button, the car goes sort of on fire and quick.
Really fast.
Yeah.
Very quick.
Very fast.
Very furious.
When I was looking for a new secondhand car this time last year,
I took one for a test drive and I was like, this is beautiful.
Love the sat-nav.
Yep.
Love the power steering.
Oh, beautiful.
One question, where is the NOS?
Where's the button for the NOS?
Yeah, where's your NOS button?
I know it's different in every car.
It is different in every car.
I can't see.
I figured out how to open the bonnet and how to get the petrol thing open,
but where's the NOS button?
I've tried opening the top of the gear stick to find the little button.
Is there a trick to that?
Is it more of a twist rather than a flick up?
Yeah, it's tough when you can't find the NOS.
But Brian uses his NOS a bit too early, which is embarrassing.
He finishes a bit early.
And not everyone has.
He went early with the NOS.
Granddad.
Went early.
Went too hard too early.
And so Dom wins.
Now, Brian has bet his car, which is a 10-second car.
And a 10-second car is a car that can do a quarter mile in less than 11 seconds.
Okay.
So he owes Dom his car because Dom wins, right?
But the cops turn up, break up the street chase.
Brian pulls up, saves Dom from the cops, and then he sort of wins his trust.
It's a big epic car chase, one of the first ones that we ever see.
But now they've accidentally been car chased into Enamere territory.
Enamere territory, right up the butt.
And our villain is Johnny Tran.
Johnny Tran and his gang blow up Brian's car,
which is actually Dom's new car now because Dom won it in the race.
And Dom iconically says, you owe me a 10-second car.
Now, remember this.
This will come back.
Too many times.
He says that to Paul Walker or he says that to Dom Tran?
He says it to Paul Walker.
Johnny Tran blew up the car.
Dom is who he is.
So, surely the guy who blew up the car is the one who owes him a car.
Yeah, I don't see how that's Brian's problem.
I mean, Brian gave you the car and said, okay, fair's fair,
you won the car.
And then your car got blown up and you said, you, previous owner,
owe me another one.
That's not how it works.
But I think Paul Walker was still driving the car,
but he did save Dom's life.
So it's unclear.
But Dom's sort of, it's a bit of a joke.
Well, you owe me your fucking life.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I think if he said that,
then Dom would be fair in saying, ease up, mate.
I was just having a bit of a rib.
I was being lighthearted.
We've just been through something quite scary.
I deal with my trauma by having a joke.
Oh, sorry.
I didn't get that.
I just, I had that.
I'm so sorry.
This is how I deal with my trauma.
Take things personally.
Oh, fuck. I'm also secretly a cop
so
I've got a lot
going on in my head
right now
I've got to pretend
to be this different guy
got a little tuna sandwich
I don't even like tuna
I'm allergic
I'm going to take
an EpiPen with me
every time I go
visit your sister
anyway forget I said
any of that
let's get back
into the character
okay I'm a criminal
let's go and action we also meet Letty Anyway, forget I said any of that. Let's get back into the character. Okay, I'm a criminal.
Let's go and action.
We also meet Letty in this film, a big character, part of the family.
Dom's girlfriend, played by Michelle Rodriguez, who's part of the gang. She's very good at driving and she's really surly.
She always looks really cross in this film.
She looks cross in every film.
Yeah.
She's just a cross-looking person.
Well, apparently she's been working on it.
She's done interviews and she's been trying to, like,
bring a bit more to the character of Letty than just her surliness.
And here you go, just bringing it up.
What, give constructive feedback?
Yeah, she knows, okay?
Okay, great.
Well, perfect.
As long as she knows.
And she's working on it.
That's amazing.
Good for her.
It is good.
And that's all we can ask.
She's just listening to this podcast to try and enjoy a recap
of all the movies she's been in.
She doesn't need to hear this from you.
I'm sure she has feedback for me.
And to that I say, fuck you.
She's very interesting.
So Michelle Rodriguez has refused a lot of roles in Hollywood
because she says she doesn't want to just play the girlfriend.
So in this film, even though it's one of her first sort of big things,
she's definitely playing a girlfriend but she's also she drives and she's very active in the gang and she you know steals the dvd players and all the cool stuff do we need to explain to
younger listeners what dvd players are no google it i don't care about you
you've got so much life you know what a dv a DVD player is VHS I understand might be a little more confusing
Laptop, it's a laptop
With Netflix on it
Yeah
Each movie's on it's own portable disc
I don't think you need to explain what a DVD is
What's a disc?
How do you explain a disc to someone who doesn't know?
Like a coaster
It's like a coaster but big
It's like a coaster with a movie on it
Kids all know coasters Kids love coasters It's like a coaster, but big. It's like a coaster with a movie on it.
Kids all know coasters.
Yeah.
Kids love coasters.
Gen Z, they love coasters.
Not on the good coffee table.
They love to protect their furniture.
That's their main concern.
So Brian is slowly figuring out that this is definitely the gang that is stealing the DVD players.
He has infiltrated the correct gang.
He's walked into Dom's house and there's 50,000 DVD players.
He's like, I might be right.
Or he could be a hoarder.
Yeah, do you guys love movies or what?
How many movies do you watch at one time?
Dom, are you a cinephile?
Yeah, and he is.
So, jokes on him.
I just don't understand how people can do it,
go undercover like that
And not feel real bad
When they're making someone
Be their friend
Just to fuck them over
Well he's honestly
Really bad at it
He's really bad
At going undercover
He goes undercover
A bunch of times
In these films
And every time it goes wrong
Every single time
And they keep being like
You're our best guy
We gotta get you back
In the FBI
And put you back undercover
And he's like
Okay
And he just like
Joins whatever Like it's not It doesn't work ever for him but good on him um good on him
for being a loyal person not to the cops but to his family la familia so uh dom and letty and the
gang go out for i'm not telling you the rest of the gang because they sort of die and they're not
very important there's one guy called vince he comes back one time. He's very boring.
He's another white guy.
Dom and Letty and the gang go out for a big finale
hijacking trucks carrying DVD
players one more time.
Maybe even CD-ROMs. Who knows?
This is the big, this is the money one. But no floppy
discs. No floppy discs. That's silly.
Yeah, that would be silly.
Come on. This is not.
What is this? That's not. What is this?
That's silly.
What is this?
Antitrust?
The movie with Ryan Philippe where he's a hacker.
It's commonly known and a normal reference to make.
We all love it.
But Brian knows it's not safe now because the truck drivers have wised up
and now they've got guns.
Oh, no.
Yeah, you know how some women, we walk with our keys between our fists?
So now, because of Dom, guns in every truck.
Between their fists.
Between their fingers.
Ready to go.
It's actually really hard.
Really hard.
Probably.
That's so silly.
They already have keys for the trucks.
Yeah, that's true.
They could just use the keys.
Just use the keys.
Just use the keys.
Well, you need the key to drive because it's always when the truck is driving.
Oh, that's a good point. Yeah. Get a second set of keys you get a second set of keys but
it's easy to get a gun in america and also but if you're a truck driver and someone's going to steal
your dvd players surely you're just going to go all right dvd players i'm not going to risk my
life like how much is a dvd player even in their prime how expensive i think like 150 bucks i think
they got pretty expensive i reckon they would like it you could have got a real good quality one for $700.
And how was it better?
I don't know.
It probably would, if you paid for one that would go VHS and DVD,
that would do one to the up, that would also record.
Oh, yeah.
Remember you just happened to get that one?
Oh, they'd be expensive.
The Blu-ray ones.
Yeah, Blu-ray.
Did they ever have the DVD version of a five disc changer?
So you could have five separate movies in there.
God, that'd be good.
And you could just go between them.
So if you wanted to watch the first five Fast and the Furious movies,
you wouldn't even have to get off the couch.
I'd love that.
Yeah, you would love that.
I would love that.
But now you don't have to get off the couch, mate.
That's true.
They autoplay.
Yeah.
They just start the next one.
They do autoplay. I stayed up after writing this um report i stayed up until 1am because i was just like
i'm gonna watch it again just watched it again uh tim was like are you finished i was like i'm
nearly finished just checking something you got you go to bed i'll be you got a bed soon no no no
uh so brian knows it's safe because they've got guns now.
And Brian goes to Mia.
He's like, we've got to go get Dom.
And she's like, what's going on?
And he's like, I'm a cop.
And she's like, what?
And he's like, trust me.
And she's like, okay.
So women aren't very active in the first film.
Okay.
So her and Brian, they get in the car.
Vince, one of Dom's crew, one of the white guys, very boring. He's fine. He, one of Dom's crew, the other guy, one of the white guys, very boring.
He's fine.
He's one of Dom's crew.
He's critically injured.
And Brian breaks his cover by calling a police ambulance,
which is a thing, I guess, a police ambulance helicopter in for him.
So he's like, he's going to die.
And he's like, officer down, rah, rah, rah, in front of Dom.
And Dom's like, what the fuck?
Everyone's like, whoa.
So there's a bit of a showdown
where one of the crew, Jesse, who is actually the best,
I haven't talked about him very much, he's a nerd,
but he dies. He gets shot.
So don't worry about it. He gets shot by Johnny Tran's
crew. Guys, I have just
left so much out of this and there's so much
to go.
Anyway, he gets shot by Johnny Tran's crew.
Brian and Dom take down Johnny Tran's crew
As well as racing a train
Which is a normal thing to do
And they total
They just sort of got sort of sidetracked
Yeah
They were next to a train
And the train driver looked at them
And they look back at them
And they're like, yeah, let's go for it
And they drag
It was more like when they do it on Top Gear
And they see like one of them rides a bike
and one of them is in a car
and one of them's on a train
and they see who gets there first.
It was more of a science experiment.
There's a train coming
and they're like,
we can beat the train
and they jump across the train tracks
just nearly miss getting hit by the train.
Those level crossings,
I tell you what,
we've got to get rid of them.
We do need to get rid of them we do need
to get rid of they're very dangerous it's taken a long time but you know they're slowly was that
in melbourne a lot of them are gone now yeah no you can see it was the um one of the ones in
brunswick it's gone now rest in peace and um yeah so they total toretto's dad's car and now dom needs
to get away from the cops still
because obviously, you know, he's got caught.
But Brian is like, I owe you a 10-second car.
So Brian gives him his car so he can get away.
So Dom's on the run.
He runs away.
And Brian obviously is not allowed to be a cop anymore
because of the crimes.
He flees to Miami where he becomes a street racer.
We don't actually see that in the film.
We see that instead in a little short film,
first of the series, there are a few,
called The Turbocharged Prelude for Too Fast, Too Furious.
That's fun.
Yeah.
So we just see him basically leave and go to Miami.
That feels ahead of its time or something,
like making bonus bonus web only yeah
yeah how are people watching it back then though did you have to buy it was an extra yeah a dvd
extra right um and then i think it was also released in cinemas at the same time as too
fast too furious as a little pre like i guess when the trailers played oh yeah because it only
goes for like 10 minutes um yeah so we we just see what happens, where he goes.
When does Nicolas Cage get into this?
He's got to get that Shelby.
Fast 10.
Right.
Yeah.
Fast 10, your seatbelt.
Yeah.
Okay.
So fun facts.
Eminem was originally approached to play Brian.
Oh, that makes sense.
Imagine Eminem, but he did 8 Mile instead.
Okay.
And that went pretty well for him.
That went pretty well. Yeah. But does it have the 10th version of it coming up? Yeah, exactly he did 8 Mile instead. Okay. And that went pretty well for him. That went pretty well.
Yeah, but does it have the 10th version of it coming out?
Yeah, exactly.
18th Mile.
Yeah, there's no 18th Mile.
I assume that's how it would go, right?
18th, your seatbelt.
Does that work?
Honestly, I don't get the other one you were doing before.
Oh, God.
It was very successful.
Don't cut that. It was very successful. Don't cut that.
It was very successful.
The budget was $38 million.
It made $207 million.
Wow.
Prior to filming, Jordana Brewster, who plays Mia,
the sister and Brian's love interest, the tuna gal,
and Michelle Rodriguez did not have driver's licenses,
which is very depressing.
But they took driving lessons during production
and everyone went and did.
They drove Formula One stunt cars and learned how to drive.
That would be so fun.
It would be really, really cool.
I got to drive a Formula One car with a Formula One driver in it.
What?
You got to drive it.
You would have really had to squeeze in the cockpit there.
Yeah, well...
Don't call them cockpits.
No, I...
Wait, let me...
Let me go back.
I drove...
I did not drive a Formula One car.
I lied to you.
I drove a Formula One driver and then he drove his car.
But I drove him in our car.
Oh, no.
It was for an ad for the car, which is Renault.
It was in a Renault ad.
His name is Kevin Magnusson.
He's a proper guy.
Yeah.
And I got to drive.
I'd never heard of him at the time and lucky because I was like just being like,
oh, imagine if we had like – it was all improvised ad.
And I was like, imagine if we had like kids, like if you were the mom
and I was like, oh, I was the mom and you were the dad.
Like just imagine like as a joke and had, like, funny banter with him
and his whole thing was just being uncomfortable with me.
And, like, that was fine
because English is not his first language
and he's never met me and he was jet lagged
and it was so absurd.
And I, like, chased him around a Formula One track.
Like, it was amazing.
It was really, really fun.
Oh, that's great.
And they let me crash the car.
Was that aired in Australia?
It was just on the internet.
Yeah, right.
I think you have to really deep dive for it.
Wow.
I've got a copy of some of it.
Are you okay with us sharing it?
You've got a copy of some of it.
Yeah.
There were a few.
There was a series of them that were released.
Have you kept up with Kevin?
Yeah, we've got kids now.
Oh, I love that for you and Kevin.
Yeah, we've got kids.
So just a side note as well,
we've just sort of summarised the first of nine movies.
Yeah, and it's been about 20 years.
So listen.
I'm going to, this is my choice.
You guys do whatever you want to do, Matt and Dave.
I'm going to shut up for a little bit.
Let some of the summaries happen.
Okay, well, I'll try and cherry pick.
No, no, no, no.
No, I should, Jess.
This first one, that was important.
I'm guessing there was no plan for it to be a long series at the start.
It was a movie based on an article.
Yes, that's wild.
It couldn't be based on anything smaller than that.
Maybe off like a memory.
A little dream.
A movie based on a memory.
Someone comes in and pictures a movie,
so I kind of remember this thing.
Yeah, this idea.
It's based on a dream.
They're like, green light.
Yeah, you can have it.
I was floating and they were like, we love it.
Yeah, not really a memory, more of a feeling.
A memory of a feeling I had.
So Ja Rule has a cameo in this as like a street racer guy.
He refused to reprise the role though in Too Fast, Too Furious.
He thought he was too good for the Fast and Furious franchise.
And so they instead approached rapper Ludacris.
And Ja Rule went on to do the Fyre Festival.
Yeah.
So who's an idiot now? Well, I'm not going to answer that. Okay. Well, I would. And it's Ja Rule went on to do the Fyre Festival. Yeah. So who's an idiot now?
Well, I'm not going to answer that.
Okay.
Well, I would and it's Ja Rule in my personal opinion.
He was paid $15,000 for the first one.
That is not a lot of money.
But he's only in like one scene.
Yeah, okay.
I mean, it is a lot of money.
I should say not a lot of money to be in a big Hollywood film.
No.
I'm not going around saying $15,000. That's not a lot of money. be in a big Hollywood film. No. I'm not going around saying $15,000.
That's not a lot of money.
No thanks.
Just in case anyone's at home going,
how much money does Matt carry in his pockets?
And I was going to offer Matt $15,000 for a small task
and now I guess he won't do it.
Look, I'm happy to...
I'd be in a whole movie and more.
I'll come...
You should see how much Matt has charged Young Cameo.
Yeah.
25 grand for a 30-second video.
And people are paying it. People are paying it. That's what's crazy. I've yeah it's 25 grand for a 30 second and people are paying it
people are paying it that's what's crazy i've paid i've paid for a couple but he was offered
500 000 to be in the sequel and he said nah don't worry about it he just didn't take their calls he
was like no i'm not doing that it's not good for me creatively and artistically okay and listen
the fast uh too fast too furious was not incredibly successful. So at first it was probably a good idea,
but Ludacris' character, Tej, was very successful
and stayed on through the whole thing.
Wow.
So, you know, who's an idiot?
Too Fast, Too Furious.
Too Fast, Too Furious, the numbers.
That wasn't popular.
It was popular, but it wasn't critically acclaimed.
An ex-girlfriend of mine was obsessed with them,
so I watched them with her up to a certain point.
Me.
Me too.
Me too.
You two are familiar.
Yeah.
I knew you were familiar.
I was negging him before.
But they, yeah.
So I think maybe up to the first four or five or something.
See, I think it gets really good at five.
Okay.
Well, I was enjoying them.
And that includes, I watched Tokyo Drift as well.
Yep.
Is that, what's that officially the third one?
It came out third.
Yeah.
But it is not third.
Not canonically.
Not canonically.
No, not canonically third.
So in Too Fast, Too Furious, it was directed by John Singleton,
who had previously directed Boys in the Hood.
We see Brian's new life as a street racer.
Ludacris' Tej is running the races.
We also meet Suki, who has this fucking
incredible Barbie-looking pink
car that's actually just a fresh coat
of paint on Johnny Tran's car from
the first film. Oh, I forgot to tell
you how many cars. So in The Fast
and the Furious, 78
cars were wrecked in the
filming. 78.
I will do a running tally.
Oh, great.
Body count.
And I've got that from a website, a driving website called driven.nz.
So I'm sure that's where I get all my news.
You simply must.
Simply, simply must.
Anyway, Brian's back.
He's a street racer.
Everything's fine.
But then the cops are like, hey, we're going to break up this street race.
And Brian, we want you back in the FBI.
That seems pretty plausible.
Yeah.
So he's like, yeah, okay, I'll do it.
And he's got to take down an Argentinian drug dealer.
They have already got one undercover agent.
So I don't know why they need him.
Her name's Monica Fuentes.
She's played by Eva Mendesez my dog's namesake um so she's there and then he joins her with also he's like i'm
gonna choose my own partner i'm gonna choose my own uh you know police partner and they're like
you already have monica and he's like no and he goes and he gets roman pierce played by tyrese gibson who is huge
huge character now uh roman has just gotten out of jail he doesn't trust brian because he's like
well i just found out you're a cop and you're my childhood friend anyway they go and do it they
steal a bunch of cars the best stunt in this so i will skip this it doesn't really matter they take
down the drug lord they get the money they go up a ramp and they jump onto a boat in a car. Very, very good.
In addition to this, there's a bit where the cops think that Roman and Brian are running.
They're like, oh, no, they're running away.
But they're not running away.
The cops are just babies, honestly.
They're just behaving like children.
Why would you think that Paul Walker would be running away like he did at the end of the first film?
Yeah, why wouldn't you trust him?
Why are they being weird?
So he picked his own police partner.
Who was a criminal.
Yeah.
Who had previously...
I don't think that's how the police work.
And the partner didn't initially want to do it
because he was like, you're a cop.
Yeah.
And then he's like, yeah, and I want you to be a cop.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, but they do it in exchange for clean records.
They want a clean record.
So they're like, yeah, we'll do it.
Anyway, they're carrying money for this drug lord and then the cops so they're like yeah we'll do it anyway they're
carrying money for this drug lord and then the cops think they're running with the money they
drive into this warehouse because they're being followed by the cops and when they're in the
warehouse the garage doors come down they get surrounded by the cops this is the most like
exciting this is the first time in the fuzz and furious franchise when i was like yay
they're in there and the cops are like they're surrounded now what are they going to do and then
the garage doors come out come up and just hundreds of high performance vehicles in all
these different multi-colors come out and they don't know and they're going in different directions
the cops are like oh no which one is like they're all dressed like wally do you know what i mean
yeah they're like i don't know which one's which. And they follow the cars that they think are Brian and Roman,
but they are driven by Suki and Tej.
The old switcheroo.
The old switcheroo.
Yeah, and they drive a Camaro up a ramp onto a moving yacht,
which is the best stunt.
Vin Diesel didn't return because he didn't like the script
and he wanted to focus on the Chronicles of Riddick
which is a franchise he is obsessed with
he's obsessed with this franchise
he played Riddick
I don't know it
I definitely know the posters
or the trailers
I didn't think it looked good
and that was even when I was like 12
I didn't think it looked good
yeah me too
I haven't seen it
but has there been sequels?
has it been a franchise?
there have been sequels
yes there have been sequels so you know he's done okay but honestly fast and furious probably done a bit
more yeah but a bit better yeah a bit more for vincent um the vincent do they think that's why
it didn't do as well as the box office because it didn't have jar rule i mean yeah they've yeah
there's articles about it where was jar rule yeah i Yeah. I think Ja is just Spanish for the.
Where is the rule?
Okay.
So, 130 cars were destroyed in Too Fast, Too Furious.
It's a lot more than the first one.
It is a lot more, but they did have that scene with hundreds and hundreds of cars.
Although, I think a lot of those cars are probably CGI cars.
Sad.
Do you reckon?
It's fun to look back at the first one and maybe the second one too
because at the time I was like, these cars are so cool.
And now I look back and I'm like, oh, that's a 1999 Honda S2000.
Yeah, there's a lot of like Nissan Skylines.
There's a lot of $35,000 cars that now are $600,000 cars
or like million dollar cars because of this franchise.
But at the time it was like, oh, it's a Nissan.
Yeah.
Toot toot.
Hop in.
Toot toot.
Let's go to the shops.
They're all very souped up.
Mum needs milk.
Yeah.
But it's because, you know, these people aren't like rich.
Yeah.
They're just, they love cars and they're really good at making cars go brum.
I'm just realizing this is our third episode in a row that is car related.
It is.
We're becoming a car pod oh no well i have specifically not talked about cars very much because i thought
it might get boring so that's good um okay tokyo drift i moved through that second one quite you
know that that was amazing that was great so tokyo drift i remember seeing this one at the cinema
yeah i saw this one too it's got a different guy in it different guy yeah different guy it's also got brad from home
improvement brad who's brad from home improvement the oldest son hang on i've just got to look i
didn't know he was in that oh i don't know i'm just googling i'm amazed by that um that reference
zachary ty brian it's a pretty incredible fact that you've chosen to make up.
I ought to slip in this bit of mainline information.
Wow, okay.
Zachary Ty.
I feel like he was one of the main-ish guys.
Maybe he was like the enemy of the main guy or something.
I think he was the friend.
I think he plays one.
Yeah, he plays Clay.
Yeah.
Well, he's not like, yeah, he's fine.
He's not, he doesn't come up.
He doesn't come up. But I don't want to talk about tokyo drift too
much because again it's like you know we're really focusing on the familiar story is it no well it is
canonically it is and it comes back let me just you'll be shocked you'll go oh this has made me
already i'm thinking i'm doing the marathon me too oh well that's good because i can i'll stop
the report because i really just wanted you guys to watch it.
Yeah, I'll watch it.
I'll stop now.
I'm always looking for a franchise to watch.
I love this franchise.
I love it.
People always say to me, Michelle, I didn't expect that about you.
And I say, you don't fucking know me, you dog.
Yeah, that's right.
You're not La Familia.
You're not.
Anyway, Tokyo Drift, third film in terms of release,
but chronologically it is actually the sixth film,
and that's if we're not including the short films in the series.
Right.
For the sake of time, and because I love getting tweeted at,
I'm going to mostly exclude this film.
But the things you need to know are it's set in Japan,
where we meet our new token white guy, Sean,
who is not Brian.
Yeah, that's important to know.
Important to know, not Brian.
So Brian's not back for this.
This is a whole new cast.
And Han, who is a very good character, who is actually from a different film from the director, Justin Lin,
who directed this film, Better Luck Tomorrow.
So Han is from a different movie and then Justin Lin, who is a film, Better Luck Tomorrow. So Han is from a different movie.
And then Justin Lin, who is a very good director, was like,
I'm going to put that character from Better Luck Tomorrow in this film.
And canonically, it's the same character.
So Better Luck Tomorrow is in the Furious verse.
In the Greater Fast and Furious verse.
Fury verse.
Fury verse.
Fury verse.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah. That's cool. That's interesting. Fury Verse. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.
That's cool.
That's interesting.
It is.
Yeah.
Han is street racing.
So we're in Tokyo, by the way.
We're in Tokyo.
Han is street racing.
He's also working for a guy whose uncle is in the Yakuza.
Now Han is skimming a bit off the top from this guy.
He gets caught and during a car chase, his car gets T-boned and explodes.
So Sean, the guy, the Brian guy, he's sort of the main guy in this film,
but he's not really important, Han.
Brian's other guy, Sean.
Sean's just like, he's here, he's got a military dad living in Tokyo.
He's been in a bit of trouble.
He was an exchange student or something?
Yeah, well, he's just like he was getting in trouble
and so they were like, you're going to stay with your dad in Tokyo
and he was like, I love racing.
But he learns how to drift because he's good at racing, but he's not good at drifting.
Yeah.
Which is, in Tokyo, you drift.
That's how you get around.
We all know that.
We all know.
You've got the Shinkansen and you've got drifting.
Yeah.
Those are your options.
I've been.
I've been to Japan.
Bow Wow is in this film.
Yeah.
Not Lil anymore.
Not Lil.
He's a big Bow Wow.
But was he Lil then? He was not Lil at the time. He hasn't been Lil for ages. No, is in this film. Yeah. Not Lil anymore. Not Lil. He's a big Bow Wow. But was he Lil then?
He was not Lil at the
time.
He hasn't been Lil for
ages.
No he's been big.
I love that that was
he the one that made
it a thing because
there's so many Lils.
Lil Nas X at the
moment.
Lil Bow Wow.
Lil John.
Lil Wayne.
Lil Wayne.
Yeah there's a lot of
them.
He's definitely the
first Lil I was aware
of.
Me too.
The first one to grow
out of it as well because he's still Lil Wayne isn't he? Yeah. He's about 40 years old. Yeah, there's a lot of them. He's definitely the first Lil I was aware of. Me too. He's the first one to grow out of it as well because he's still Lil Wayne, isn't he?
He's about 40 years old.
Yeah, it's a big ego thing.
What are you, so?
You're not little anymore.
Lil Wayne.
Young thug is now like 60 or something.
Medium Wayne.
Call me Medium Wayne.
You can't be a cool rapper and your name's Wayne.
So you have to stay Lil Wayne, don't you?
Have you heard the latest Wayne
album?
He could have dropped Wayne altogether.
Some of the members of Weezer have started a new
band and it's called Wayne.
Fountains of Wayne, that was a band?
Fountains of Wayne. Don't know
anything more. Stacey's Mum.
Did they do Stacey's Mum?
They did Stacey's Mum. I've heard she's hot
in that song.
I don't believe everything you hear from Fountains of Wayne.
So anyway, his car, Han's car gets T-boned.
It explodes.
This is very important.
That's the most important thing.
Fun fact, they couldn't get the filming permits in Tokyo.
So they just went ahead and shot it without permission.
So this is from, I got this from Wikipedia.
So Justin Lin said, I wanted to shoot in Shibuya.
So have you guys been to Shibuya?
No.
It's in Picha, Tokyo and the crossing, the big crossing.
I have been there, yes.
That crossing is in Shibuya.
It's a very busy place.
It's the most crowded place in Tokyo.
And he said, the cops, they're all so polite.
It takes 10 minutes for them to come over and kick you out.
So he was just like, yeah, we'll just do it.
10 minutes at a time.
10 minutes at a time.
Unknown to Lynn.
So he didn't know this, but the studio hired a full guy
who when the cops did come would like stood up and said,
I am Spartacus.
And then he went to prison for the night.
Just for the night.
Spartacus, what are you saying?
But they were very polite about it.
What?
Yeah.
It was his job to just go, yep, that's me.
Off to prison I go.
I'm the director.
Good night.
Yeah.
We just spent one night in jail.
I think that's quite common in Japan.
Like we do.
I think if you're like drunk on the street,
they'll put you in jail for the night maybe.
Oh, no, that's normal here.
I think that's normal.
Wow.
I think that's a normal thing to do.
I don't know.
Yeah, the drunk tank.
It's in Fairy Tale of New York.
They mention it.
And the drunk know. Yeah, The Drunk Tank. It's in Fairytale of New York, they mention it. And The Drunk Tank.
Yeah.
Which is actually about Japan.
That's about Japan.
Fairytale of New York is set in Japan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's actually set at Tokyo Disney.
Really?
Yeah.
In Lil' New York.
Yeah.
Which is a little section I have there.
Yeah.
Tokyo Drift has a cameo from Vincent Diesel at the very end.
So he reprises his role of Dominic Toretto.
He turns up to mourn Han.
I think by challenging Sean to a race.
He's like, hello, I'm here to collect my friend Han's things.
Do you want to go for a little race?
Yeah.
We all grieve differently.
Some people race and that's all right.
Yeah. And he comes to collect his things. And, you know, it's people race and that's all right. Yeah.
And he comes to collect his things and, you know,
it's just to establish that Toretto knows Han, basically,
that they are friends.
Rather than charging an acting fee for his cameo in this film,
so he was uncredited, unpaid,
he negotiated for the rights to the character Riddick
in the Chronicles of Riddick
so that he could just really be in control of the Chronicles of Riddick.
Oh, my God, he's obsessed with him.
He really should have gone for the Vin Diesel character.
No, that's him.
He should have gone for whatever his character is.
No, wait.
What's his name in this?
Dominic.
Dominic.
He should have got that one instead.
Yeah, well, you know, who can say?
He later went on to star in and produce the 2004 movie Chronicles of Riddick.
And then 249 cars were destroyed in the making of Tokyo Dread.
So it keeps going up.
In big ways.
Level up.
Level up.
Yeah.
It's not like it goes from 78 to 80.
You know, it's like big numbers.
Yeah.
They must feel the pressure each time to be like, fuck.
More cars.
They've finished the shoot and they're like, we haven't even broken enough cars yet.
You set fire to that. Yeah. They just go, fuck. More cars. They've finished the shoot and they're like, we haven't even broken enough cars yet.
You set fire to that.
They're just going around the street burning cars.
They don't count.
They don't count.
They can't get home from the set.
There's the production cars.
Give me that car.
Everyone grab a wrench.
Here we go.
So the two sequels have not sort of done as well
at the box office as the first one.
People are like, where's the family?
We miss the family.
And so Fast and Furious number four was released in 2009,
but not before a short film called Los Bandoleros,
which means The Outlaws.
20-minute short film written and directed by Vincent Diesel,
which you can sort of tell with lines like, this weatherman.
I know where you're going already.
And you can sort of tell.
Not because it's brilliant.
I have a funny feeling it's not because it's brilliant.
There's this line that Letty says, and she's like,
this weatherman, rain one minute, clouds the next, sunshine the next.
It's like, no, that's not it.
That's not the line. Did she get it wrong and they just didn't, and she tried to fix it and they were like, no, I think it's like no that's not it that's not the line did she get it wrong and
they just didn't and she tried to fix it and they were like no i think it's fine the whole thing is
what happened there rain one minute clouds the next sunshine the next and she thinks about it
she has a bit of time rain Rain one minute, clouds the next, sunshine the next.
They're just sort of walking.
You can't see a thing.
Rule of threes.
Rule of threes.
She got her dad a V.O.
I've seen people with that tattoo and now I understand why.
Beautiful.
You just hear Vin in the background yell,
all right, we got it, move on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Next scene.
Anyway, so it's set in the Dominican Republic.
There's a gas shortage, people having a rough time,
a lot of poverty. Dom plays this kind of like Robin Hood character. He's playing, like it's set in the Dominican Republic. There's a gas shortage, people having a rough time, a lot of poverty.
Dom plays this kind of like Robin Hood character.
He's playing, like he's himself,
but he's like a Robin Hood.
He's stealing from the rich, giving to the poor.
She's like giving out Nos.
Here you go.
Nos.
Nos for the children.
Nos for your mother.
This will sort out your fire.
Yeah.
So it's beautiful.
It's basically just there, this 20-minute film.
It's like the first 10 minutes are like a spanish language kind of art house film and then the second 10 minutes are
sort of a prequel to a porn with him and letty so letty turns up in the dominican republic they've
obviously been separated when he's gone on the run um she turns up she he's like got women all
over him and he's just got his friend out of prison and they're like hanging out on him and she's like,
he just had to follow the smell of skanks to find you
and he's like, ha-ha-hey.
She's like, ha-ha-hey.
Then they kiss and she's like, and she says in Spanish,
I don't like that I can taste them on your mouth.
Like it's like, yeah, the subtitles say something about,
I don't like their saliva, but it's like more in Spanish.
I think it's more rude than that.
Or maybe I can't remember.
I haven't seen it in a while.
Anyway, it's a romantic montage.
They get back together.
This is the last 10 minutes of them.
It's just them making out in a car, then making out in a kayak,
then they're in a cave, and then she talks about the weather.
As far as I can see, no cars or kayaks destroyed.
Disappointing.
He wrote this.
He wrote this and he directed this.
He wrote in a 10-minute kissing montage.
Yeah.
That quote you read before, that sounds like porno script.
And Han is also there.
That's important.
Han's there living with Dom.
And he's got...
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's kind of got this girlfriend.
Han's got this kind of girlfriend who has a sister.
What?
Yeah.
It's not important.
Well, it is, but it's not made to feel important.
Anyway, Fast and Furious released in 2009.
This is the fourth film.
And it's just called Fast and Furious.
Fast and Furious.
Yes.
Oh, that's right.
See, I got this on DVD once and was confused.
It was the first time I was trying to watch it in order.
That just sounds like the first one.
It does.
It does.
But this one's just, yeah, Fast and Furious.
Okay.
Clean it up.
Were they trying to trick people into coming back to watch it again?
Yeah.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
Directed again by Justin Lin and written by Chris Morgan,
who's written most of these.
He wrote Tokyo Drift.
In the Dominican Republic, Dominique Crudeletti,
Tego and Rico, who are these sort of comedic relief
Tweedledee and Tweedledum guys who don't get enough lines
in my personal opinion, but we also have Roman and Tej
who are also kind of comedic relief.
So it's a bit – we've doubled up here and we don't want to fire you.
Are they doing any bits where like one of them's walking into the garage
with a big plank of wood and he turns around and hits him on the back of the head?
Yeah, that's pretty much their job, yeah.
Like a toilet explode on the mid-one time.
When people say comedic relief, that's what I hear.
It's basically that.
It's just these two guys were like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
But they're quite good at their job and they're good at driving.
Charlie Chaplin.
Yeah, they've got moustaches.
Yeah, I think they're funny little walks and stuff.
Yeah.
Don't they start becoming more like genre films?
Is this like the comedy one?
Yeah.
So they do start becoming more.
They pick up a lot of comedy.
They pick up a lot of.
So Justin Lin, I think, directed some episodes of Community.
Right.
So he's quite funny.
It starts to get a bit funny
the character of Han is quite funny they really embrace the comedy they start to know what this
is and why we're here and it's taken them four films and a couple of mini films to get to a
point where they know what it is yeah and I would honestly say they're starting now they really get
there in the next one uh we're not halfway through um and anyway so Kara uh there's cara she's there she's not important
she doesn't do anything i don't know why she's there she's well that's not true she she does
hook one oil tanker at one point cara is horny for han and she's got a sister called lisa who
we do not meet okay but it's important that you know about that woman, Lisa, because she'll come back as Cardi B in about 600 films time.
They're hijacking fuel tankers.
That's what the crew is doing at the moment,
the fuel shortage.
So they're hijacking fuel tankers.
We open on this like huge, amazing,
the stunts are really exciting in this film.
This is where they're like, this is what people want.
This is what we're coming for.
So there's a fuel tanker heist.
It's gorgeous.
Dom and Letty end up trapped between the tank of petrol
and the truck itself.
The truck.
So the tank isn't full of DVD players.
No, we've moved on.
They've got all the DVD players.
They already have all.
They've got a monopoly.
They've got a world supply of DVD players.
That's why people stopped using DVDs.
Right.
Because they were hoarding.
They were hoarding.
But I was about to say,
I've now finally got,
they're now getting something
and it won't date,
but it's going to an electric car,
so in 10 years it's going to be like petrol.
Yeah.
What's that?
What kind of petrol?
What are we talking?
We're talking Vinnie Diesel?
Probably Vinnie Diesel, I'd say.
Full leaded?
I didn't ask.
Couldn't you normally do that in a movie?
Pause.
Excuse me.
Sorry.
What kind of petrol is the God in that tank?
What's that custom by the leader?
Do you do leaders over there?
$1.35.
Gallons?
It's not bad.
It's not bad.
I'll just pay for it.
Not bad.
Anyway, there's a scene where they are having this dramatic
on the side of a cliff car chase, but there's fuel tankers.
There is a truck on one end about to roll off a cliff.
Dom and Letty are in their car trapped between that
and the on-fire fuel tank that is rolling towards them down the hill.
And Dom looks the tanker in the eye.
Like a 10-year-old girl figuring out when to enter the skipping rope.
Yes.
Doing the hand motion.
Yeah, doing the hands.
Doing the hands.
And Letty goes, Dom, Dom, Dom.
And then he just drives and just goes under this burning fuel tanker
and it's amazing.
Is that the second time that you went, whoa?
Yeah, that was my second.
So you get one every movie or so.
After this, it's just like every 45 seconds, you're like, whee!
I probably haven't entered a skipping rope for easily 20 years.
Do you want to have a go?
I'm confident I can still do it.
Do you want to have a go on the mic, please?
So my point is, I reckon once you've done it a few times,
you know that rhythm.
Yeah.
I think Dom could sort of be like, yeah, I got this.
Yeah, I've driven under hundreds of oil tankers.
I could do it now.
I could do it.
I could get into a skipping rope.
Not a double.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
But a single skipping rope, I could do it.
Absolutely.
I could do it.
Totally.
I reckon you could.
I reckon you could.
But I want you to prove it. I reckon I'm confident about it. Totally. I reckon you could. I reckon you could. But I want you to prove it.
I reckon I'm confident about it.
No, I reckon you could though.
Yeah.
You'd be really, really good.
You'd be really, really good.
Jess, honestly, believe in yourself.
I think you'd do it.
I do.
That's more like it.
Thanks, man.
I needed you here.
So they survive this fuel tanker heist.
Dom starts to suspect that the police are on their trail.
I think because Han turns to him and he's like,
I think the cops are on our trail.
And Dom's like, oh, what should we do?
And Han's like, I might go to Tokyo.
And we're all like, no, don't go to Tokyo.
No, Han, don't go to Tokyo.
Oh, no.
Anyway, so realising that he must leave to protect everyone because the cops are really out for him.
Dom leaves.
He's like, I've got to go.
Cops are on to us.
I've got to go.
And he's like, Letty, I've got to go.
And she's like, no, we're a family.
This is what we do.
This is how we live, which becomes like a thing that keeps coming up.
Dom sneaks away in the middle of the night,
leaving his iconic cross necklace hanging on the nightstand
next to a
sleeping letty and that is a character as well the necklace he'll be spewing when he realizes
he accidentally left it yeah he'll probably come back for it uh three months later dom is now
living in panama city he gets a call from mia his sister with the tuna sandwiches tells him that
letty has been murdered what his girlfriend yeah no who's the actor playing letty again michelle rodriguez
yeah she's been murdered so dom heads back to la to go to her funeral he doesn't actually go to it
he stands back because obviously there's cops yeah um it's raining obviously it's la i saw a
video recently which was which was showing like that apparently that's a real movie cliche the
criminal watching watching the funeral yeah they cut a bunch of them together yeah that's a real movie cliche, the criminal watching the funeral. Watching the funeral, yeah. And they cut a bunch of them together.
Yeah.
That's really interesting.
It's a funny trope.
It is funny.
Because like I can still see you.
You're just over there in a suit.
You're normally on a hill.
Like you couldn't be any more visible up there.
Yeah, they're always on a hill.
What are they doing?
Sitting in the car.
If you can see everybody at the funeral, they can see you.
Yeah, go on a plane over.
Yes.
Have a helicopter over.
Get a drone. Everyone would be windy. It would be funny if they just like panned from the funeral they can see you yeah go on a plane over yes have a helicopter get a drone everyone
it would be windy it would be funny if they just like uh panned from the funeral full of fbr people
to like a bush and there's someone just in a suit just covered in dirt just crawling through
i love you lady did that bush just speak? The bush is crying.
Anyway, so he's there.
He's at the funeral.
And then he goes to examine the crash site.
He finds traces of nitromethane on the ground.
How does he find that?
I don't know.
Well, he's smart.
So what, he like licks it?
Yeah, he's like Bear Grylls.
He's like, oh, I know what this is. I guess it's like a car thing.
And he knows what all the car stuff tastes like.
I love that just a random man goes to examine.
You can tell the spices.
You can tell.
You know when there's turmeric.
Yeah, you're right.
Well, it's orange.
You do know when there's turmeric.
But you know when there's cumin.
Yeah.
I know when there's cumin, but I am a chef.
So anyway.
You're Michelle.
Oh.
Okay.
Okay.
God, thank God you're here.
This is why we broke up.
Why did you?
I thought you were telling me what I am.
Your name is Michelle Brazier?
Yeah, that's my name.
Holy shit.
I've been saying it wrong.
Anyway, so he visits the only car mechanic that sells nitromethane in LA.
Very curious.
Only one.
The only one.
And is like, tell me the name of the guy and he says it's david park
so he uh he says it's david park and the only car that uses it is a green 1972 ford torino sport
right okay so meanwhile again an fbi agent again brian o'connor so at the end of the
too fast too furious brian and roman they're like we did it and they get the money and they An FBI agent again, Brian O'Connor. So at the end of the Too Fast, Too Furious, Brian and Roman,
they're like, we did it.
And they get the money and they give it back to the FBI
except they keep one bag of the money.
And they're like, let's open a garage.
And so they just do that.
That's the vibe, right?
So he's in the FBI.
It's fine.
They haven't asked where's the missing money.
Everything seems to be in order.
You're an FBI again.
He's trying to track down a drug lord braga
the drug lord is called braga his search leaves leads him to david park the same guy that dom is
looking for so dom arrives at park's apartment and he like hangs him out the window by his ankles
and then uh dom yeah so dom's holding him by his ankles and then brian comes and he's like excuse
me i'm a police officer i can't dangle men men out. And he pulls him out and saves his life.
And Park becomes the FBI's new informant.
Oh, my God.
So he gets Brian into a street race.
Brian selects a Nissan Skyline.
Again, this is like a 35.
I think this is a 35.
I don't know.
People are going to be yelling at their iPods.
But anyway, he chooses.
He, like, modifies this car and Dom modifies a Chevy
and he's like, yay, and they go.
They meet Campos, who is a guy who does coffees.
You were mentioning a barista?
Yeah.
He does the coffees.
You skipped a lot of stuff in the last film.
They meet Campos when they go out for brunch.
It becomes a regular cafe.
Avocado on toast, no tuna.
This coffee has changed my life.
They meet Campos, who's Braga's second in command,
as well as Giselle, who is played by Gal Gadot.
Braga's liaison is her job.
They're kind of just like the pair who represent Braga.
She reveals that the winner will become the last driver
on a team that traffics heroin between the US, Mexico border.
Yeah, you win the opportunity to join the team.
To be a heroin mule.
To be a heroin mule.
So it's an audition.
I don't know if there's a dance call.
It's not like maybe it's in the extended cut.
But anyway, so they do that.
Dom wins, obviously always wins.
And Brian uses his power as an FBI agent to arrest another driver on the team
and take his place.
Oh.
So he's back undercover.
That's kind of dodgy, Brian.
I know. Honestly, I think Brian is a little bit dodgy as a cop.
You didn't earn that spot.
I reckon he's crooked. And what, you've arrested this guy for
what, other crimes he's definitely done?
Yeah. Okay, Brian.
Yeah, pretty full on.
So Dom
and Brian are both now in the heroin squad.
Yes.
But for different reasons.
So Brian's trying to infiltrate the gang to arrest them
and Dom is trying to work out who killed his sister.
Yes.
But they're for two different reasons.
His girlfriend.
His girlfriend.
Not his sister.
Girlfriend, sorry, Letty, yes.
His sister's still alive.
Okay, so Dom notices Braga's henchman called Phoenix,
but spelt F-E-N-I-X, you know, it's good to change it up,
drives the same Torino, that Torino.
So they drive across the border in these like underground tunnels,
which was done by stunt drivers in really tiny spaces.
It's really, if you watch any of the stunts, this is the wee,
that's for this film. It's very, very you watch any of the stunts, this is the, wee, that's for this,
for this film.
It's very,
very exciting.
And then he confronts Phoenix.
He's like,
what's going on?
And Phoenix is like,
yeah,
I killed Letty.
Letty was working for Braga.
And also we kill everyone who,
who does the job.
So like once the job is done,
we just kill everyone.
And Letty found out.
And so Letty got killed when she was trying to get away.
Did Rodriguez, did she quit the series and that's why they killed her off
or do they always want to kill her off?
I don't want to spoil anything.
So I will come to that.
This whole episode is spoilers.
I don't want to spoil specifically for you just yet.
Spoiled in real time.
Yeah, I feel like this is really hard to follow, but that's okay.
So they're trafficking the heroin.
Everything's going according to plan.
Then they have this big fight.
There's a big explosion because they're underground
and then they have a big fight.
There's a lot going on.
There's a big fight.
It doesn't matter.
Big fight.
Letty's been killed.
Everyone's very upset.
They hijack a Hummer with $60 million worth of heroin in it.
That's a lot of heroin.
In all the chaos at the big fight.
Is that a lot?
I guess.
Probably a lot.
Back then.
Yeah.
What's heroin going for?
Now heroin is...
It's an anon's economy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pretty good.
That's pretty good.
I'd say a good amount.
Not excessive. Not excessive. But enough for a box. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty good? That's pretty good. I'd say a good amount. Not excessive.
Not excessive.
But enough for a box.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Brian and Dom drive back to LA.
It's a hot pink comma.
Yeah, it's a hot pink.
Oh, yeah.
It's ripe for a hens or a box.
They hide the heroin in a police impound lot.
I don't know if that's hiding or if that's giving it to the cops.
But I guess Brian's like, oh, I've got a cool place to hide in.
They drive back to Dom's house where they see Dom's sister, Mia.
Obviously, Mia and Brian are like, we love each other and it's beautiful.
But they're on again, off again, are they?
Yeah, well, because he's in the FBI and then he's not in the FBI
and it's like not really clear where she is.
Right.
And how does Dom feel about Paul Walker's
character Brian at this stage are they like are they bros yet or does Dom still like you're a dog
well it's a bit off and on because Dom just is about to find out that the last person to have
contact with Letty was Brian so Brian explains that Letty was working undercover working for him
so he's got another ex-con to work as a little cop underneath him.
So she was working for Braga for Paul Walker, Brian,
because Brian said, I can do this deal for you.
I'll be able to get Dom's record cleaned.
Because she wants to be with Dom.
She just wants Dom to come home.
And he's run off in the middle of the night.
She's gone, all right, the only way to fix this is to stop the cops from coming after Dom.
And so she's done this risky job undercover.
She's got caught out.
For love.
For love.
For love.
Wow.
I wouldn't do that, to be honest.
Do I not know love?
Yeah.
No, you don't know love.
I would do it.
You wouldn't?
I do it every week for Tim.
You wouldn't be an undercover criminal to expunge your partner's criminal record?
Nah.
Aiden!
You don't know that.
Don't tell him.
Guess who Jesse?
No, shut up.
Don't tell him.
Don't tell him.
I don't want to work for Braga.
Don't want to work for Braga.
It's a very funny name.
Braga.
Braga.
Hi, I'm Braga.
I think it's very powerful.
Yeah, anyway, so they're having a little bit of a fight.
They're trying to lure Braga into a trap.
With treats?
With treats.
Yeah, with treats.
But then Braga is revealed as a decoy.
And Campos, the coffee guy, is the real Braga.
No, not our coffee guy.
I thought you just brought up the coffee guy for his coffee skills.
No, I brought him up because he's a decoy.
It's not really important, but I wanted to tell you.
Escaped with Phoenix and they go to Mexico.
So there's like a whole chaos.
Phoenix nearly runs over Giselle, who's Gal Gadot,
and Dom saves her life.
She's also, earlier than this, she's come on to him and he's like,
she does this thing where she's like,
what do you look for in a woman?
That's my Gal Gadot accent.
And he's like, she's got to be, you for in a woman that's my gal gadot and he's like she's got
to be oh you've got to look in her eyes and see 80 devil and 20 angel and she's got to have this
and this and then she's like that doesn't sound anything like me and he's like it ain't because
he's only got eyes for letty even though she's dead did vin diesel write this movie as well i
think i think gal gadot wrote it you have the second second wonder woman it feels it feels like gal gadot
wrote the second wonder woman film does it feel like that to any of you guys i watched it i was
like it's cute how they let her write direct star produce and shoot this herself is that based on
her her video of celebrity singing?
No, it's based on the film.
I haven't seen the second one.
I haven't brought myself to watch it.
I loved Wonder Woman, the first one.
I did too.
You know, the second one was kind of fun,
but yeah, it just felt like it jumped a bit in time.
I would say it was as well written as my report,
which is mostly Wikipedia and then just memories I've got.
Which is, I think think what she did.
Anyway, it's fine.
So now, so she's tried to come on.
She's horny for Dom.
That's fine.
Dom's like, no.
And then she's like, well, okay, well, I guess I'm horny for Han now.
So now she's horny for Han.
But Dom saved her life.
So she's kind of with the good guys.
She helps them.
She's like, here's where you can find Braga hiding, okay?
So Brian and Dom go to a church where Braga's hiding.
They get him.
They get Phoenix.
There's a whole thing.
I'm going to skip all of this.
When you say get him, do they arrest him or do they kill him?
I think they kill him.
Oh, dear.
But he's not really important,
so I can't really remember exactly what happens to him.
But I think, yeah.
Anyway, Phoenix tries to kill Brian and Dom because Phoenix is, you know,
Phoenix is kind of the second bad guy, but he's really quite bad.
And Dom drives out of the tunnels and into Phoenix.
He kills him, avenging Letty's death.
But then police and helicopters approach the crash site
and Brian's like, Dom, you've got to run.
Dom's like, I'm not running anymore.
And he's like, you have to go.
And despite Brian's request for clemency,
the judge sentences Dom to 25 years in prison.
What's that for?
Because he's still on the run.
Right.
Because Michelle Rodriguez Didn't
Didn't catch Braga
So they haven't done
The right
They haven't done it
Her dying in the pursuit of
It wasn't enough
No they don't care about crims
A cab
Except the nice ones
That's a good saying
That's a really good saying
Is the C in A cab crims?
Yeah
All crims
All crims Our baddiess are boobies.
Are boobs.
I think there's more nuance to it than that.
I don't think so.
Criminals are just trying to get their lovers, you know, criminal records expunged.
Exactly.
A tale as old as time itself.
Nah.
Don't do it.
All crims are boobs.
Just don't do crime.
Yeah.
Come on.
You are naive.
You wouldn't steal a car.
From the DVD players.
Yeah.
For the people who don't understand DVD players,
they'll get that reference.
Yeah, they'll love that.
Anyway, Brian resigns from the FBI
because he's really pissy that he couldn't get Dom forgiven.
And then the film ends with Dom,
no, Dom on the bus, on the prison bus,
in his little oranges.
Is he driving?
He's not driving.
They didn't let him drive.
He's like, let me drive.
I could go so much faster than this.
Honestly, I'm a really good driver.
See the thing I did with the truck.
I'm so good.
I have done so much cool driving.
They're like, shut up.
He's a real backseat driver.
It's really annoying.
He's like, left here.
It'll be quicker.
Hit the nose.
Slow down, slow down. Red light coming up. That's red. That's like left here It'll be quicker Hit the nose Slow down Slow down
Red light coming up
That's red
That's red mate
I feel more confused
After that one
Than the others
Well wait
But I think it's because
Wait wait
It's not done
It's not done yet
Oh good
No well just
He's in the prison bus
On the way to prison
And we see Brian and Mia
In their cars
And they're coming
To save him
They're coming to attack The prison bus so they can break him out.
Whoa.
Yeah.
And from here, I think the movies get quicker
and I am aware that the podcast has been going for six years.
You've actually nailed the timing of the last few.
You're doing great.
I'm sailing through?
Yeah.
Okay.
190 cars were wrecked in the making of Fast and Furious
That's less
Yeah, they've gone down
Were they upset by that?
It's disappointing actually
But were they more valuable cars?
Like this time there's Lambos, Ferraris
Yeah, we've got a Hummer
We've got $60 million worth of heroin
That's true
That takes a lot of budget
That's a lot
That's really taken up a lot
The studio's like, couldn't you just do it with fake heroin?
No It's an authentic movie't you just do it with fake heroin? No.
It's an authentic movie.
They're method.
They do everything real.
Our meth is meth.
We're method.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's important.
Fast Five is the next one.
We really stopped trying with the names.
Is it actually the fifth one?
It is now.
So you know how they're Tokyo Drift.
In the counting part, that's three, but it's not three in the chronology.
I don't think they count it either.
I just think it's sort of not counted.
So in the five, the fifth one's actually the sixth if you include Tokyo Drift?
No, it's the fifth.
So it goes.
The Fast and the Furious.
Too Fast, Too Furious.
Tokyo Drift. Fast and Furious. Too Fast, Too Furious. Yes. Tokyo Drift.
Yeah.
Fast and Furious.
Fast Five.
Oh, my God.
I didn't realize they counted Tokyo Drift as one.
They do.
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah.
No, they count it, but it's chronologically it doesn't happen
because obviously Han's walking around here after he's been T-boned and exploded.
Were they thinking that ahead of time or were they like,
oh, this Han character's cool. Too bad we killed him. I think probably that. exploded. Were they thinking that ahead of time? Or were they like, oh, this Hank character's cool.
Too bad we killed him.
I think probably that.
Yeah.
It feels like that.
Yeah.
I think they're like, this isn't as wrong.
I think about halfway through filming, they went, what if we go back in time?
So they just went back in time.
This guy rules.
Yeah.
This guy fucks.
Either we make him the identical twin or we say this is before he died.
I'm surprised they didn't.
So it's very camp.
It's a very camp series and it's very sort of the more it gets along,
it's very much like a telenovela, like a real, real drama.
And I love all the tropes of that.
Anyway.
People coming back from the dead and stuff like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which I look forward to.
Fast Five, written by Chris Morgan.
Again, directed by Justin Lin.
Picks up exactly the moment Fast and Furious left off.
So Brian and Mia, they're in the cars.
They got the bus.
They're coming for the bus.
Oh, okay.
They come and they break out.
Break Dom out of the bus.
So he's not going to the jail anymore.
They quickly become America's Most Wanted. And they are again on the run. How do they get him out of the bus. So he's not going to the jail anymore. They quickly become America's Most Wanted
and they are again on the run.
How do they get him out of the bus again?
It's like a car chase.
So the bus is on like a long stretch of road
and then it's kind of how they hijack the DVDs.
Yeah.
The DVD players.
It's the same.
It's just a man.
I'm thinking of they do a similar thing in the A-Team.
They break BA out of the-
Is there any crossover with the A-Team?
I think it's canon.
Yeah.
I think it's canon.
They blow the door off in that one.
Yeah.
He rides the door to safety.
Oh, fantastic.
Yeah, that's a classic.
Yeah.
And that crosses over with the Italian job.
Yeah.
Yes.
We actually get the director of the Italian job in one of these films.
Anyway.
Is it ironic that Paul Walker's often on the run or not?
What do you mean?
Because he's walking?
Oh, because he's a walker.
Yeah, he's driving.
It's sort of like the opposite of normative determinism in a lot of ways.
I guess it is, yeah.
If it was called paul driver
yeah that would be that they should have got mini driver to play the paul walker role yeah they
approached they approached after eminem she was busy yeah she was doing chronicles of riddick
really she should have been in the italian job mini driver
job, mini driver.
If she doesn't own a mini,
I'll be... And I really like mini driver, but if she doesn't own a
mini, she's lost me forever.
Very funny, man.
I'll be fast and furious.
This is very much... I'm doing a book cheat on this.
Here's a little plug for your podcast.
That's right. If you prefer your movies in the form of books,
you can check out Book Cheat.
Audio books.
You should do a Book Cheat episode about the article.
This is...
Eraser X.
All right.
Okay.
So, they're America's Most Wanted.
They're on the run again.
They go to Rio de Janeiro,
which is actually filmed in Puerto Rico.
Oh. So different. But they do film a little bit in Rio. on the run again they go to rio de janeiro which is actually filmed in puerto rico oh so different
um but they do they do film a little bit in rio uh they're awaiting dom's arrival mia and brian
i don't know why they're like do it like he's i don't know why that is but they're there first
mia and brian are there and they join their friend vince from the first film remember vince
not important vince he blew b Brian's cover in the first place.
Like he's the one who got himself in trouble with the trucker.
Yeah, he sort of, because he went against the orders or something, right?
Is that how he blew the cover?
No, no, he just, he got hurt.
And so Brian called the police ambulance for him.
I'm pretty sure.
Again, I should have double checked that.
So he blew the cover by getting hurt.
Yeah, by getting hurt.
But he was being reckless.
He was being reckless.
And this is his whole thing is he's always like,
I know better and I want to be the leader.
And he's just annoying.
Anyway, Mia and Brian joined Vince.
He is also hanging out in Rio.
They are on a job that Vince has organized.
Well, he's not organized, but he's gone,
oh, they need a couple more guys come and join this job.
They're stealing some cars from a train, a moving train.
So this is a really good stunt movie.
Brian and Mia get on the train and they're like going for the thing.
Dom joins them as well.
And Dom's like, I don't know about this.
I don't feel very good about this.
And Mia and Brian are like, there are agents on this train.
Like there are definitely like DEA agents.
Yeah, so they're like, is it a set up?
Like what is this?
And then they realise that the main guy that's like running this,
his name's ZZ, he's very focused on one particular car.
They're like, we're here to steal a bunch of
cars but they're like spoken on one car which is a Ford GT40 and famous for driving around Le Mans
which we spoke about a couple of weeks ago toot toot so Dom Dom's like all right Mia steal that
one you're gonna get that car because they're like we'll get that car and you get the others
because they're trying to they realize that they're trying to like pin it on Dom and his crew.
That they're trying to be like, we'll get away with the real car and you guys will be here.
Anyway.
So they're like stealing like a bunch of day woos.
Yeah, a couple of day woos.
Dom's like, this is a bit fishy.
Why is this guy so obsessed with stealing a minivan?
They're all good cars, but there's something about this car.
They don't know what it is.
It's not obvious.
Really?
They've been booked for this job by people that they don't really trust.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
And DEA.
Because they're on the run.
That's the drugs people.
Right.
They're not after people who are stealing cars.
There's no department for stealing cars.
Really?
I don't think so.
Nah.
They don't care. They should add
a C to DEA. Things like drugs,
murder, crime.
Yeah, crime. Small crime.
Little crimes. You know little crimes?
And then he got older and he dropped.
No, he's just crimes.
Anyway, so
Mia steals a car, which is very
exciting. She's like, these cars are on a train. So they're on a moving train. They're in the desert. She steals the car, which is very exciting. She's like, these cars are on a train.
So they're on a moving train.
They're in the desert.
She steals the car first and then it's very, very clear.
Brian and Dom fight ZZ and his henchmen.
Everyone's turning on everyone.
ZZ kills the drug agents, the DE agents assigned to the vehicles
to look after the vehicles.
And Brian and Dom are captured and brought to a crime lord raise so he's the owner of the cars and he's also zz's boss raise orders
the pair um orders that the pair are like interrogated and he wants to find out where
this fucking car is because that's the one car that he cares about um they escape and they retreat
to their safe house so they're like, what have we just done?
What's going on?
But they're trying to survive.
They're on the run.
Dom, Brian and Mia, they're framed as the murderers of those DEA agents.
And then the US government sends a crack team of security special agents
led by Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
Oh my goodness.
Now this is when you reckon it starts getting good. Toot, toot. Yeah, this is when it's one hour in. I love Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Oh, my goodness. Now, this is when you reckon it starts getting good.
Toot, toot.
Yeah, this is when it's one hour in.
I love Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
Luke, I do love him, although I did see he was, like,
supporting in the whole Spotify thing.
He said something.
I don't know.
I try not to think about it.
Anyway, I love him.
Luke Hobbs is his name, and he's assisted by an officer
called Elena Neves. uh luke hobbs uh is his name and he's assisted by an officer called elena neves and elena or elena
she is like he trusts her because he's like i can see in your eyes that you've lost someone you're
not in this for the game you're in this to make the world better and she's like yes i love my
husband and she's like this tiny little thing and he's like i look after you and she's great
she's great she's a good cop anyway so they go to rio to arrest this this band of bandits for
once and for all so brian dom and mia are examining the car that they've stolen to try and figure out
what's so fancy about this car was there drugs in the car what's going on vince gets there um you
know vince vince annoying arrives and he's caught by dom trying to remove a computer chip from the car.
Okay.
He admits he was going to sell the chip to Raze on his own and freeze them out.
And Dom's like, get out.
I'm not angry.
I'm just disappointed.
That's not what family does.
Yeah.
We're family.
We are a family.
We are family?
Yeah.
What's the meme again?
He said, I don't got friends.
I got family.
I got family.
Yeah. You need both, I? He said, I don't got friends, I got family. I got family. Yeah.
You need both, I reckon.
Well, you do.
I reckon it's okay to have friends.
Yeah, let's have friends.
Anyway, that's fine.
That's what I think.
He leaves and Brian, but Don takes the chip.
So, Brian investigates the chip.
He's like, this has the financial details of Raze, the big criminal boss, his whole criminal empire, including.
Is it Reyes 10th City?
Yes.
Oh, wow.
Because the whole.
So much makes sense.
The whole 10th empire.
I can't even remember hearing his name.
Is it Reyes or Reyes?
Anyway, whatever it is.
Including the locations of $100 million in cash.
So Hobbs and his team.
So that computer chip
was in the car.
It was in the car.
Yeah, it was hidden in a car.
A normal place.
In a million dollar car.
They didn't need to steal that car.
Why didn't they just go in
and get the chip out?
They didn't know the chip.
I don't know why.
Not them, but I mean
the other people.
Yeah, the people
who actually wanted it.
It's completely unclear.
Why did you steal the car?
Listen, we don't let plot get in the way of a train
with stolen cars in the desert.
Like, we're not getting in the way of that.
I'm sure they would have written it in.
There'd be a reason, no doubt.
Oh, Matt, no.
This is the wonderful thing about this franchise
is they will just go,
everyone's looking for, there's a sandwich
and everyone needs it.
It's a matter of national security.
And everyone goes, well, we gotta go get the sandwich. Steal this car. There's no, like, you it it's a matter of national security and everyone goes
we gotta go
get the sandwich
steal this car
there's no like
you know like a Marvel movie
they're like
this is the history
of the stone
and here's like
years worth of context
they're like
there's a stone
he wants to get
to the stone
and everyone's like
okay
it's fantastic
I love it
I like it
I like it that way
don't waste my time
with story
I don't have story.
I have family.
So Hobbs and his team arrive at Dom's safe house,
but it's already under assault by Reyes' men.
They're searching for the chip.
Brian, Dom and Mia escape after like a cool parkour chase
across the favela in, it's actually in Puerto Rico
that they film it, but it is in Rio.
And Dom's like, we got to get out of Rio. And mia's like i'm pregnant oh oh my god she's pregnant with brian's child oh my god
so dom's like okay we'll stick together we'll steal the money and we'll start a new life one
last job one final job um obviously it's difficult to steal from like a lot of different places
because they found all the different locations of this money so they're like okay we're going to attack one of the locations
and they just burn all the money they go there and they set fire to it and they're like this is
how powerful it's like a power play okay um but they really could have used that money they could
have just taken it one last big job so just take that money you found it well they they it makes
him like gather all his money it makes him move move his money. Right. So they do that and then they put all of the money
into an evidence vault inside a police station.
I can't remember why and I did try and Google it
and like watch this bit again and I was like,
I still don't know why they've done this.
So that's just what they did.
But again, we don't need to know why.
It's just what they've done.
It's not important.
They just want to get it.
And anyway, so they're there.
They're having this time.
It's hiding, right?
And then they steal some Dodge Charger cop cars so they can blend in.
So Vince joins them.
Mia gets captured by Reyes' men, which keeps happening to her.
She's always getting in trouble.
She's so annoying.
And then there's also a scene. there's a street race, of course,
where Hobbes comes and Dom is like, hi.
And Hobbes is like, you're under arrest, Dominic Toretto.
And Dom turns around and is like, this is Brazil.
And then everyone pulls a gun on Hobbes.
Like everyone.
It's really cool he says this is brazil yeah yeah is he putting his hands up in the air as he says right up in
the air like the statue of jesus yeah this is brazil yeah wow yeah that's an interesting move
i think it's really strong yeah i mean and like how did he orchestrate that when i say this is
brazil yeah just get your gun out yeah is that no no is that like a cultural thing in rio if you move. I think it's really strong. And like how did he orchestrate that when I say this is Brazil?
Just get your gun out.
Is that like a cultural thing in Rio? If you yell that out
everyone will pull a weapon.
Just to back you up.
It happens whenever I yell it.
My friends.
It would have been like surprise party sort of
things. Alright he's going to be here soon.
Everyone pretend like you're into the street
race. Girls get your bums out.
Bums out.
What size are we talking at the moment?
At this current time, they're getting a bit bigger.
The bums are getting a bit bigger.
The girls look like they've had a bit of bread,
which is good for the girls.
It's good for the girls.
I love bread.
So good.
Fucking love bread.
Yeah, so does your butt.
Your butt loves bread.
Yeah, your butt loves bread.
Yum, yum, yum.
Butt loves bread.
The focus at the start is like boobs and small butt.
And then now, slowly, butt.
Only butt.
Only butt.
Only butt.
You know that website?
Only butt.
Only butt, yeah.
You can sign up.
See someone's butt.
That's funny.
This is Brazil.
Anyway, that's my favourite thing of the entire... That's funny This is Brazil Anyway that's my favourite thing
Of the entire
That's my wee
Hobbs and his team
Eventually later on
Find and arrest Dom
Mia
Brian
And Vince
So they're transporting them
To the airport
To go back to the US
Where they will be arrested
And processed
But then the convoy
Is attacked
By the bad guys
Reyes' men
And they kill Hobbs' team
What?
And Hobbs is like
What the fuck is this?
And then Dom saves Hobbs and his team.
He's like, no, this is not right.
You should not be killed in this fight.
And then now la familia.
Oh, my God.
Now we're friends.
Now we're friends.
Vince is killed.
Who cares?
So all it takes is save someone's life.
Yeah.
Okay, so basically someone enters as a bad guy and then their life is saved
and then now they're part of the family.
Wow.
That's generally like that's the kind of pattern that's established
through from the last film onwards, which is great.
It even happened in the first one, right?
Paul Walker saved Vin Diesel's life.
Yeah.
And he was the undercover cop.
Yeah.
So, that's all you need to do.
So, Hobbs and Elena, who's the cop who lost her husband,
agree to help with the heist.
Elena, I don't know why they're like, yeah, let's help.
What?
Yeah.
They're just like, yeah, let's do it.
We'll do it.
Sure.
Okay.
We're crims now.
Vin Diesel is very charismatic. I mean,s now. Finde's very charismatic.
I mean, they're sort of very, very charismatic.
I mean, it's not really that simple, but essentially they're just helping.
It's the right thing to do.
Exactly.
Just help a brother out.
Elena and Dom are very, like, horny for each other.
They have a little bit of a romance brewing.
The gang breaks into the cop station where they have the vault,
and they use two of these charges, these big police charges to tear open the vault with,
that has all the money through it.
And then they drag it through the city while the police officers like chase
them.
So they're dragging so that they have cars dragging one big vault.
Yep.
As it bounces through the busy city.
Yep. Streets. Great. great um which is truly amazing it's
one of the best stunts like this has a there's a lot of cars getting wrecked in this it is it's
just like bam bam bam everything explodes cannot wait to hear the number very very good um anyway
so hobbs is like right at the end they get there they win Hobbs is like okay
kills Reyes and then Hobbs is like okay Dom and Brian obviously can't let you go that would be
illegal I am a very fancy policeman yeah I can't let you go but what I can do is give you 24 hours
you leave the vault with me it'll be 24 hours which is kind of his version of a 10 second car. Yeah. 24 hours. So they're like, all right, hooray.
But unbeknownst to Hobbs, they switched out the vault.
And then we see like a play by play where they go under a tunnel.
They like change the vaults.
There's two vaults.
They get all the money.
They've got the vault.
So this vault's useless.
This is a dumb vault.
Who cares about this vault?
No one.
I can't let you go.
I can let you go for 24 hours.
Yeah. 24 hours. Even a vault without stuff in it I can't let you go. I can let you go for 24 hours. Yeah, 24 hours.
Even a vault
without stuff in it,
they're not free.
It's still be worth
quite a bit of money.
That's a nice vault.
That's a very positive
spin on that.
That's exactly right.
Yeah,
those big vaults
would go for a bit.
Yeah.
What, 50, 70 bucks?
Yeah.
That's great.
I'm picturing
at least 50, 50, 70 bucks? Yeah. That's great. I'm picturing... Do you know what I mean? I'm picturing like one of...
You know bunnies?
At least 50, 50, 70 bucks.
Yeah.
In that ballpark.
If it's taking two cars to drive, it's got to be pretty big.
It's got to be pretty big.
It's got to be 50 to 70 bucks.
Like a small bar fridge.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's not...
Maybe 45 on sale.
Wouldn't sneeze at it.
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
At Aldi or something.
Yeah.
On a special.
On a special.
Yeah. Wow. Or you can buy something. Yeah. On a special. On a special. Yeah.
Wow.
Or you could buy a 10-pack of them at Costco.
Yeah, you could.
Well, they probably got a 10-pack so they could switch it.
So they get, the gang is like, they're all over the world.
They're all fine.
They're all separate, but they're doing good.
And they've gotten away.
Hobbs is technically still chasing them, but they've gotten away.
So it's fine.
Is he kind of half-assed chasing them?
Yeah, he's like, guys, come on.
I'll find you.
Yeah, okay.
In a mid-credits scene, Hobbs is given a file by Monica.
Remember Monica from being undercover in Too Fast, Too Furious?
Eva Mendez.
Yes, yes.
She doesn't do much.
But she's like, there's there's been a
military convoy in berlin that's been hijacked and here's some here's some evidence and he sees
pictures of letty taking part in the heist she died oh my god that's what we thought zombie movie
it's a zombie movie yeah now we go into zombie movie. So is this them going, actually, she wants to come back,
so we're bringing the character back?
Or was that always planned?
I don't think it was always planned.
I don't think much is planned.
I think they're just going as it comes along.
She wanted to not come back,
but she had a great film idea that she was going to do.
Yeah.
Chronicles of...
Big Dick? Big Dick. Big do with Chronicles of... Big Dick?
Big Dick.
Big Dick.
Chronicles of Big Dick.
I really didn't think that was going to be even that good.
Very funny.
All right.
So this film is the first one to introduce three big Hollywood ideas
into the franchise, those being comedy, the heist tropes.
Love it. And also Dwayne Rock Johnson. That's a big idea. A big Hollywood ideas into the franchise. Those being comedy. Yep. The heist tropes. Love it.
And also Dwayne Johnson.
That's a big idea.
Big Hollywood idea.
Yeah.
We've got 260 wrecked cars in this one, but they are expensive and fancy cars.
That's the highest number so far, I think.
I think it's the highest or maybe there was one.
I think there was a 240 something.
Maybe Tokyo Drift.
I can't remember.
These are probably wrong as well.
No, they were from What was it
Drive.nz
Driven.nz
It's important
As I said before
They filmed this in Puerto Rico
And it made
It injected like
27 million dollars
Into the Puerto Rican economy
Oh that's good
Which is huge
Yeah
I lost a lot of their best cars
They did destroy
Half their city too
Yeah they did
No they didn't do that
Yeah No good
The reason Dwayne The Rock Johnson was in this
Is because Vin Diesel went on Facebook
And was like who do you guys reckon should be your villain
And they were like Dwayne
Get me one
And he was like yeah righto
Someone tagged you and you wrote back and said I'll do it
Yeah I'll do it in exchange for a clean record
That's amazing
Did you see that tweet?
Adam Spencer did a happy birthday tweet to Will Anderson.
They used to host Triple J Breakfast.
And he said, at the end of the tweet, he said,
and I'm sure your hero, The Rock, would say the same.
And he tagged in The Rock.
And then The Rock replied.
Oh, my God.
Saying, oh, I hope you have a great birthday.
Because they posted a photo of when they interviewed The Rock and then The Rock replied. Oh my God. Saying, oh, I hope you have a great birthday. Because they also posted a photo of when they interviewed The Rock way back.
Oh, wow.
At breakfast and he replied so nice.
Yeah, he made a little joke.
Oh my God.
It was real nice.
Yeah, he's such a nice.
He seems like such a nice dad.
Will Anderson, who, you know, he's got like half a million followers on Twitter.
And he's like,
oh my God,
The Rock tweeted at me.
I feel like anyone
would be very chuffed
to get attention.
Oh, no doubt.
He's like,
I think,
yeah,
at the next level,
a few weeks back
Dave told us about Live Aid
and he was saying
that all the biggest bands
of the world are playing
but the MC that day
was Jack Nicholson
or Jack Nicholas. Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson. The actor, not the golfer of the world are playing, but the MC that day was Jack Nicholson or Jack Nicholas.
Jack Nicholson.
Jack Nicholson.
The actor, not the golfer.
So it's like backstage, the biggest bands of the world are going,
oh my God, that's Jack.
Holy shit.
One of the bands is like, I can't really remember my set
because the whole time I was thinking, holy shit, that's Jack Nicholson.
That's amazing.
I think The Rock is the modern Jack Nicholson.
Even the biggest celebrities would be like,
what the fuck is that?
Is that The Rock over there?
He's a huge celebrity.
I think he's one of the best paid.
I feel that podcasting with Dave Warnke.
Yeah.
Holy shit, that's Dave Warnke.
Every time.
Holy shit.
That's why I don't remember a lot of the episodes.
I'm just sitting here staring at him.
I'm like, look at him talk.
So cool.
He's doing it.
Oh my God.
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plus subscription required t's and c's apply that That's his voice. I've heard that voice.
His eyes are so blue.
Okay, Fast 6.
We have arrived at Fast 6 from the same writer and director.
It's released in 2013 now.
Chris Morgan.
Huh?
That's the name of the writer, isn't it?
Chris Morgan. Chris Morgan.
Good morning.
Chris Morgan.
I thought you were saying
something in a different
language than that.
Of course.
Chris Morgan.
Dom is living
with Elena now.
So they've hooked up.
Mia lives with
Brian O'Connor
and their son,
which they have now had.
His name is Jack.
Giselle,
who is Gal Gadot
and Han
are together. and roman and
tej are living in separately but like living it up in luxury so like tej is still running street
racing cars yep but he's like he there's a scene where he goes to an atm and he's like he has like
a car remote and he's like and he's like the car he's like yeah getting rich made me realize that
money doesn't grow on trees it rains from the air and then he's like and the car, he's like, yeah, getting rich made me realize that money doesn't grow on trees.
It rains from the air.
And then he's like, boop, boop.
And then the money just comes out of the ATM and all the kids are like, ah.
And everyone's like scrambling for the money. And then Roman's on a plane, boop, boop.
Roman's on a plane, like a luxury private yacht surrounded by supermodels.
And he's like, they're all just all just you know we see them enjoying enjoying
their their little lives um and then we come and see luke hobbs luke the hobbs johnson
and he is like giving uh this oh no wait hang on imagine meeting a guy that looked like the rock
right he's gigantic he's huge he's muscly. He's very scary. And he's like, hello, I'm Luke.
You're like, no.
No, you're not.
Is it the same if he says, I'm Dwayne?
Yeah, you're right.
Hello, I'm Dwayne.
So Dwayne is working through a case.
He's like at the office late at night.
Can I ask you, Michelle, before you go on?
You mentioned so many of the actors in these films are big stars.
Were all of them, I mean, The Rock came in as a big star.
Vin Diesel, was he known before this?
Like what I'm trying to ask is did this make people big?
Yes.
And some of them came in big.
Some of them came in big. Some of them came in big.
Pretty good question.
A good question and well asked.
But like I was thinking Gal Gadot, I'd never heard of her before Wonder Woman.
This is her on-screen debut.
Is it right?
Yeah, cool.
I'm pretty sure, yeah.
I didn't remember that she was in the franchise.
That's cool.
A lot of people don't.
It's amazing how many big star actors are in here.
And I was wondering if this was like a star creating vehicle.
Oh, you've got jar in there?
Jar?
So Luke Hobbs and Riley Hicks,
that's a new cop that Hobbs always calls woman.
He's always like, damn, woman.
And it's very annoying.
But we still love him because he's our dad.
And he's from a different time.
Is Riley a woman?
Yeah.
Okay.
He calls her a woman a lot.
Yeah, he's just like, come on, woman.
I don't know.
Anyway, they investigate the destruction of a Russian military convoy.
And there's a crew that's been led by former British SAS Major
and Special Ops soldier Owen Shaw.
So Owen has like gone rogue and now he's like attacked this thing.
I mean, he's very...
This is Jason Statham, is it?
Is this Jason Statham?
Holy shit, Jason Statham?
Oh my God.
So Jason Statham actually plays the brother.
Oh, right.
Okay.
So I just get excited when there's a possibility
Jason Statham, one of my favourite all-time actors.
Listen, we are definitely getting to him,
but he's played by Luke Evans.
This is a very important Furious family.
This is like the second family.
Okay.
Okay.
Sorry, I jumped the gun there.
No, that's okay.
It gave me time to Google Owen Shaw's actor name.
I was hoping you were going to say Owen Wilson was the bad guy.
No, no.
Special Ops soldier Owen Wilson. Wow.
Oh my god.
So Hobbs
is like, okay, I
need help. They're like, you need to get a crew together
and get this guy because he's like one of the best agents.
He's like, he's sure he can
do anything. He's SAS. Like he's like
he's going to do everything and now he's gone rogue. sure he can do anything he's sas like he's like he's gonna do everything
and now he's gone rogue and so hobbs is like all right i'll get i know what crew i'm gonna get
and the camera zooms in on him and then he's like hey dom and he shows him a picture of letty
which is like attached to this whole situation um and obviously he's with elena now but elena's like
what if my husband died if there was any if husband died, if my husband was like possibly alive,
of course I would have to go.
So you have to go.
So that kind of gets him off scot-free.
And he's like, okay.
She's very understanding.
Who's Elena's Gal Gadot?
No, that's Giselle.
Elena is the cop whose husband died.
Gal Gadot was in Braga's team
and then her...
Idiot!
I don't know why you thought
getting me to do this podcast
would be a good idea.
Can I ask one question?
That is when...
What's her name?
Elena.
Dom's new girlfriend said,
look, I understand.
If my husband died,
I'd have to go.
Does he go, okay,
and then leave straight away?
And she's like, oh, that was...
I was just trying to be nice.
I was just trying to look good.
I was just saying, oh, you went too quick there.
It's quite a complex series of feelings that I'm having.
No worries, lady.
High five her and leave.
Yeah, it's kind of that.
See you, toots.
All right, see you, toots.
I've got to go find my gal.
You know?
I'm so confused uh anyway so he's like all right i'm gonna help you capture capture sure um and everybody he needs the full team so he rounds them all up calls them up
during their escapades roman on his private jet tears with his money in the air giselle and han
are in hong kong i think they're eating at a restaurant um when
local police heavily armed show up and they're like they pulled the gun on Han and Giselle and
Han and Giselle like whoa whoa whoa because they're having this beautiful conversation about like we
should settle down and like chill out and he's like this is she's like this is how we live it's
fine and then these cops come around they get up and they're like pull guns like back to back it's
like this amazingness yes and then the cops give them a phone and they're like hello and it's Dom the cash cow it's very dramatic and cool and yeah
they say I wake up with today Dominic's crew they all accept the mission in
exchange for their amnesty and allowing them to return to the US so again
they're going for the clean record they're gonna become cops to get the clean record as is the
style of this film um elena because she's a cop she's like i'm gonna stay with mia and i'll protect
the baby and mia um okay yeah i guess that's nice yeah pretty nice pretty nice i think it's pretty
nice but um elena he's gone off to find his his other love
yeah like maybe you're still here when he comes like that's gonna actually be very weird yeah you
should go like where do you think you fit in this poor elena she's so nice you seem really nice but
like fuck off do you know what i mean like take a take a hint. Yeah, it's embarrassing. Oh, you're going to stay with his sister?
Oh.
No, it's fine.
I'll just become a full-time babysitter.
That's okay.
Yeah, it's okay.
I'll just stay and protect your family.
That I can't be a part of.
That I'm definitely not invited to be.
Don't you think, I mean, Dom's not taken the hint.
His wife, she's moved on.
She's dead. Yeah. He thought she was dead. Yeah,, she's moved on. She's dead.
Yeah.
He thought she was dead.
Yeah, but she's moved on.
She's got another job.
She's on the other side of the world.
She could have come back if she wanted to.
Yeah, if she wanted to talk to him, she would have.
Yeah, maybe he's being a soj.
But I think he's just refusing to believe.
What does that mean?
It's a misogynist.
Okay.
Soj.
Soj.
Matt's a feminist of the pod. he doesn't actually know about misogyny
we haven't been telling him about it yeah oh that's nice yeah i didn't want him to worry
i'm so deep into feminism i don't even know what misogyny means Okay, sweetheart.
Oh, dear.
In London, they find Owen Shaw's hideout, but it is a trap and it distracts them and the local police while Shaw
and his crew do a big heist at an Interpol building.
Shaw flees, detonating his hideout and disabling most of the police.
He sort of, Tom, Brian tom brian tej i should say
han is there everyone's there everyone you've heard of plus riley and hobbs oh my god this
riley is this random um new woman new cop uh letty arrives to help shore she shoots dom
without escaping so she turns out and she's just like, bang. Like she doesn't kill him, but she shoots him. I mean, the message is clear.
She's left you and your country.
Now she's shot you.
Obviously take a message.
But in his mind he's going, well, she didn't shoot to kill.
I think he does say that.
I think he's like, I think he does make a statement.
She was sending me a message.
She still loves me.
Yeah.
She shot me in the heart.
So that means.
She shot my brain and my heart. Yeah. I think still loves me. Yeah. She shot me in the heart. So that means. Yeah. She shot my brain and my heart.
Yeah.
I think she loves me.
So Hobbs explains to Dom's crew that Shaw's stealing all these components.
He's making this device that's going to shut down all the power in the world.
And then he's going to sell it to a terrorist.
Okay.
Shaw's investigation into the opposing crew.
So he's like looking out and just being like,
who are these people who are coming after me? And he says a picture of Letty with them. So he's like looking out and just being like, who are these people who are coming after me?
And he says a picture of Letty with them.
And he's like, what the fuck?
And then Letty's like, why don't, that's from my life before I have amnesia.
Yes.
I love amnesia.
She's got amnesia, which is very, very soap opera.
It really is a high budget Neighbours, isn't it?
With action.
It's very camp on purpose.
And I love it.
You're right.
Very telenovela.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't remember you.
I have amnesia.
Yeah.
No, I don't remember.
Don't worry about it.
It's a big reveal.
They got a lot of their ideas from Harold from Neighbours.
They did.
When he hit his head.
Dom's the Harold.
He woke up in Tasmania.
He floated across the Bass Strait and started a new life.
Because he forgot about his old life.
This is...
Holy shit.
It's based on an article and Harold.
In the pitch meeting, this article plus Harold equals Fast and the Furious.
And they went, how much money do you want?
If she starts playing the tuba and working for the Salvation Army, then this is getting a plagiarism.
This is getting a plagiarism. That's it. That's Army. Then this is getting a plagiarism. This is getting a plagiarism.
Yeah.
That's it.
That's it.
I'm slapping a plagiarism on this.
This is getting a plagiarism.
Dom's crew finds out that Shaw is connected to Braga.
Remember Braga?
Yeah.
The real one or the fake one?
The real one.
The one who made the coffee.
The barista brother.
The barista brother.
Barista Braga.
Barista Braga.
So who's connected to him? Shaw, the English guy? Shaw. Yeah guy sure yeah they're like hang on he's got ties to braga what's going on so uh tej goes and gets
a bunch of cars sure his bit that's his job he's always like he's the cars that's his answer to
everything well guys he's a guy dude dude help him. Do you need cars? No, just a glass of water would be all right.
I need a car.
There you go, Skyline.
Here you go.
Yeah.
Got a cup holder in it.
You can put your water in there.
And I should say, I forget.
Actually, Brian.
BYO woman.
I mean, I think Braga was BYO.
That's all I wanted.
Braga was, I think, he was captured.
He was not killed.
Okay.
And I say I think because now I'm remembering that Brian goes to question Braga.
Okay.
Who is alive or a zombie.
It's unclear.
So is he in jail?
Or he has amnesia.
Yeah, he's in prison.
He's making coffees?
He's making coffees.
And Letty's like, and he says Letty survived the explosion and Shaw took her in after discovering
that she had amnesia, which doesn't make sense just we just saw her tell him um i don't know
what you're talking about i i don't remember dom i don't remember loving dom yeah i've never loved
dom in my life i never loved dom in the dominican republic where the weather is sunny and then rainy
um anyway brian is released um uh so i should say when i say b Brian went to Go question Braga in prison
He couldn't get in to question him
He had to get arrested
So he's a prisoner
And then he has to get out of prison
Which is
For some reason they were like
This is the only way we can get to him
Write him a letter
He wasn't replying
But they realised it was after visiting hours?
They're like, I can't wait till tomorrow.
Yeah, he's like, I'll do a crime.
I'll do a crime.
I'm sure if I get arrested,
I will end up in jail at this exact spot.
Probably in the room next door.
Maybe even in the bunk above.
Yeah, that was the vibe.
Almost definitely somehow that'll work.
Yeah.
Dom's trying to get Letty's...
Like, trying to get her to remember things.
Like, he's always just, like, being like, how am I going to help her?
But obviously that's, you know, she's all, it's all fucked
and there's nothing that can be done.
She doesn't remember him and she's fighting against him.
So, Shaw offers Dom a chance to walk away.
Why don't you just hit her on the head again?
And see if it works.
Turn it off and on again.
On the other side. That works in other things. Yeah, it's got to her on the head again? And see if it works. Turn it off and on again. On the other side.
That works in other things.
Yeah, it's got to be at the same time
when the lightning's flashing.
Yeah, just smack her on the head.
See what happens.
I think I'm particularly thinking about
what women want in that case.
Yeah, it's that.
That's the whole thing.
Anyway, so they've got to get this.
There's like a high...
The movie, that is.
That I wasn't just thinking about.
You're always thinking about what women want.
As a feminist, I'm always thinking about women.
What do they want?
And what is it that they want?
That's beautiful.
I think from memory, it's a campaign for Nike.
Yeah, you're right.
Memory serves me.
I love that stuff.
So did you say that Shaw gave Dom an opportunity to walk away?
Yeah, he's like, you should walk away.
Don't do this.
Just walk away.
Leave her with me.
Otherwise, I'm going to hurt your family.
And he's like, that is my family.
You've already got my family.
He's like, she's my world.
I'm not leaving her.
So Tej tracks Shaw's next attack down to a NATO base in Spain.
And Shaw's crew assaults a highway military convoy carrying some
computer chip that's like the final bit of course fancy terrorism device obviously dom's crew gets
in there tries to get in the way of that and sure and letty commandeer a tank and then destroy
a bunch of cars brian and roman flip the tank and then Letty's thrown from the vehicle
and Dom saves it.
She's thrown from the tank.
Or does she hit her head again?
This could be good.
Well, she doesn't hit her head again.
But Shaw and his crew are captured.
Brian apologises to Letty for getting her into this mess
because he's like, I put you under cover for Braga.
This is my fault.
And she's like kind of confused but she's like,
I guess she's starting to sort of chill out and remember a bit. Giselle and han decide to finally settle down after this and go to tokyo they're like we're
gonna go to tokyo and we're all like no again oh so this is where it fits in after this one does
it they keep yeah it's after this so all's going well until shaw reveals me has been kidnapped
again by his hench elena where were you by his henchmen Elena was like You know what
This is actually weird
It's weird that I've stuck around
I should give space
Mia you good
Okay
I'm gonna
I'm gonna
I'm gonna pack up some stuff
Yeah
I'm gonna go look for my husband
Yeah
Probably not dead
Even if he comes back
It's gonna be weird
Yeah
It's gonna be a bit weird
She's like
I'm gonna go look for my husband
Harold
I've heard I've heard He's in Tasmania Weird. It's going to be a bit weird. She's like, I'm going to go look for my husband, Harold.
I've heard he's in Tasmania.
No idea where that is.
I'll find it.
Follow my heart and I'll find Tasmania.
So they're all there.
They think that everything's good because they've got Shaw and Hobbs is like, great.
And there's this annoying police officer, not the woman, Riley,
but another police officer who's like just annoying to Hobbs.
And he's like, well, okay, well, let's do everything by like just annoying to Hobbs and he's like
well okay well let's do everything by the book and Hobbs is like I'm a fun cop and then Shaw is like
hey Hobbs I gotta tell you something and Shaw's like I got Mia I got Mia kidnapped by my boys
and then Hobbs is like hey excuse me Dom I have to tell you something and he tells him that Mia's
been kidnapped and that Owen wants to be released sure wants to be released in exchange for otherwise me is going
to get killed and the other cop that's annoying is like well that doesn't change anything but it's
like yeah you're exactly right like that doesn't change you don't negotiate with terrorists and
then hobbs is like it changes everything and he pulls a gun on the other cop and now he's like he's just full on their side now
and he's like uncuff him and then riley his like cop partner is like yep and uncuffs sure cuffs
uncuffs all of shaw's men they start walking out of the compound and then shaw turns around and
says are you coming babe and we see a shot of letty and she's like uncomfortable and doesn't know what to do. And then we hear, of course, I wouldn't miss it,
from Riley, the cop that was working with Hobbes.
Oh, my God.
Hold on.
The one you kept calling woman.
Oh, not the one that was like,
we absolutely shouldn't let these people go.
No, that's the annoying man.
Oh, sorry.
Riley's like, I'm the babe that you're talking to.
Yeah, she's like, I am babe.
Babe is my name.
Are you coming, babe?
Hell yeah, I am, babe.
I am babe.
And she's like, why doesn't anyone know my fucking name in this movie?
Woman, babe.
It's very annoying.
So this is going to be an annoying question, but who's Mia?
Mia is the sister.
Brian's sister.
Tuna.
No, Brian's partner. Oh, Brian's partner. Dory, Dom the sister. Brian's sister. The tuna. No, Brian's partner.
Oh, Brian's partner.
Dom's sister.
Oh, God.
Brian's sister and the mother of his child.
It's a complicated film.
Normal.
It's normal.
It's normal.
It's all in the family.
But that is a big reveal moment, isn't it?
It's a big reveal, yeah.
And Hobbs looks at Dom before he lets him go and he's like,
just so you know, when he walks out the door with that chip
that's going to kill the world, when he walks out there,
words like pardon and exonerated, they walk out with him.
And Dom's like, they walked out the day I was born.
Oh, shut up.
What does that mean?
It's unclear
Like it's not clear what
So then why'd you do all this?
Maybe his parents were called like exonerated and amnesty
But isn't the doctor and my OBGYN they were named exonerated
And they just walked out
Are they basically saying that we can go and kill these people?
That laws don't apply anymore?
Is that what they're saying?
Is that what they mean?
They're saying like Hobbs is going, all right, I'm going to let them go.
We're going to catch them again.
But because I'm going to let them go, if you want to let them go,
I'm here for you.
I'll give you this one.
But I can't get your pardon anymore.
Why do they let them go?
Because they've got Mia.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
And Brian's there.
And Mia's on the phone. And Brian's like, that. And Brian's there. And Mia's on the phone and Brian's like,
that's my baby's there and my baby mama's there.
I'm so lost.
I know.
I can't, I can't.
But which is good because I'm going to watch this soon.
I don't want to know it all.
Yeah.
I'm getting a real flavour of it.
You just know the reveals and the plot twists.
Yeah, the twists.
Look, it's very fun.
I'm going to, Letty's like fun i'm gonna let he's like i'm
gonna say stay here with dom and my family even though she doesn't really remember them but she
stays with them and then they run after shore they go after shore and shore's like on a plane
and they chase the plane on the world's longest runway so the scene goes for 13 minutes right
the scene goes for 13 minutes long the plane is in motion the entire time amazing
so the they they've there's people who've done the maths on the internet and it looks like the um
the runway is about 42 kilometers long and the longest one in the world is 5.6
that's so fun it's just like on the runway for ages and they like tether their cars to it to
like slow it down they They're fighting on it.
Kids grow old.
They're just almost going to take off.
It's really funny.
There's pregnancies.
Yeah.
I love that they still made that in the film
and I love that people have gone, nah.
That means that runway is 42 kilometres long, you idiots.
You idiots.
It's so good.
It's very funny.
I hope someone got fired for that blunder.
That's the best part of the movie.
It's the wee part.
So Giselle and Han are fighting.
They're in like a car that's weighing down the plane.
They're fighting with that henchman.
And Han's like, be careful.
And Giselle's like, this is who we are.
And then Han gets attacked by a henchman
and Giselle kills him sacrificing herself
because she somehow like flies off into the ether.
She like jumps off the car,
flying towards what I can only assume is like the engine of the plane
and shoots in the air and gets killed.
And that's Gal.
And that's Gal Godode.
That's how she Gododes.
Gal Gagon.
The Gal Gagon.
And then that's why Han is like, well, I'm going to –
she said we should go to Tokyo, so I'm going to go to Tokyo.
That's why he goes to Tokyo after this.
Oh, and we're all screaming, stop it.
Yeah, but they get the chip back.
Okay.
And they give it to Hobbes so they do get their amnesty, which is good.
But does Shaw die on the plane as he gets away?
Shaw doesn't die.
He's in hospital under heavy police guard.
And he's, like, knocked – like, he's pretty? Shaw doesn't die. He's in hospital under heavy police guard. Okay. And he's like knocked out.
Like he's pretty fucked up, but yeah.
And then at the end, which is something they often do,
they have a barbecue at the end.
Yep.
Dom's crew, they gather, share a meal.
Share Corona.
Have a Corona.
Dom's like, Letty, does it feel familiar?
She says, no, it doesn't feel familiar, but it feels like home.
And he says, that's good enough for me.
And then the crew sit down there.
Elena's like, Lottie, can I get you a burger?
She's still there.
She's like, now, where do I stand here?
So she doesn't remember you or particularly like you,
but you're still, I'm still gone.
Okay.
I'm still on the couch because I remember you.
I remember you quite well Okay. I'm still on the couch. Yeah. Because I remember you. I remember you quite a lot.
And I've actually.
I love you.
Is that not worth anything?
But no, no, no.
I'll just go do some dishes.
Okay.
You guys enjoy your barbecue.
Enjoy.
Have a nice time.
I'll just be nearby if anybody wants anything.
Here if you need.
Yeah.
In a mid-credits scene, Han is in a car chase and he's suddenly brought um broadsided by an
oncoming car so the driver walks away after leaving which we've already seen in tokyo drift
it's the death in tokyo drift and then we see a driver leave letty's cross you know this silver
cross which is a character by the crash and calls the the driver calls Dom and says, Dominic Toretto, you don't know me, but you're about to.
And then the car explodes.
And that is the voice of your favourite actor.
Jason Statham.
Oh, why is he involved in that?
Here he comes.
Here he comes in Furious 7.
There are 350 cars have been wrecked in the sixth film.
Michelle, can you say it like,
you know why we were surprised that was Jason Statham?
You didn't do the voice.
Do you mind doing that line properly?
I'll get you into character with one of my favourite lines.
What makes you think I'd risk my life for you?
It's a Megalodon.
Okay, now go.
All right, hang on, hang on.
Dominic Toretto, you don't know me, but you're about to.
You nailed that.
That was great.
You nailed that.
Thank you.
Can you now say my favourite other, Jason Statham line,
which is in one of the Expendables movies where he's dressed as a priest
and he's doing a religious ceremony as some bad henchman walk in
and he goes, I now pronounce you man and knife.
And stabs them.
It's so funny.
It's so funny.
The expendable.
That's really funny.
I'm going to write that down.
It's two or three.
I want to see that.
That's the best thing I've ever heard.
One of my favorites, I think it's the start of the second one maybe.
There's like a big fight scene happening and he and sly are up in the they're like they got
they're looking down and there's just like this and so still i looks at him he goes i'll get in
the text man nice though jesus that's good that is so good it's poetry oh it's very good
my favorite line of his isn't funny. Oh, it's very good.
My favourite line of his isn't funny like that,
but it's the one I always think of him as like at the start of probably Lockstock.
And he's like, is it even him?
But I'm picturing it as him. I know what you're going to say.
Me too, Matt.
I love it.
I know what you're going to say.
Too late, too late will be the cry of the man with the bargain pass you by.
And he's like on the street doing like a little.
Yeah, because he used to do that sort of confidence tricks and stuff in his real life.
Really?
I thought you were going to say, no, thanks, Turkish.
I'm sweet enough.
I thought that too.
Because Matt says that a lot.
You say it all the time.
No, thanks, Turkish.
I'm sweet enough.
But that's not, he doesn't say that.
That's Bricktop Saying it to him
There's a bit in
This upcoming film
Well one of the
Upcoming films
Where
Dominic Toretto says
I don't got friends
I got family
And Deckard Shaw
Jason Statham says
Well I got a lot of friends
That's great
That's good
He's the best
Okay when we finish with Brendan Fraser's filmography
We have to move on to Jason Statham
I tried to watch them all in lockdown
But I only watched the Hobbs and Shaw spin-off
So I haven't seen any of these
What do we call it?
Green Statham ham?
Look just work shopping
No that's good Call it that Call it that That's it You nailed it in one Finished Green Statham ham? Look, just work shopping. Work shopping ideas.
No, that's good.
Call it that.
Call it that.
Call it that.
That's it.
You've nailed it in one.
Finished.
Finished.
Much like phrasing the bar, which you nailed in one.
Green Statham ham.
So we've done six.
We're up to number seven.
Yeah.
And there's nine of them.
And I think it's, is it Friday now?
Yeah.
Time for some meaning.
All right, let me go real quick through these.
Let me try my best.
I'm not even saying, I'm just saying a plot.
No, I'm having a great time.
Good.
Furious 7 was released in 2015.
It was directed this time by James Wan of Saw fame, Australian guy.
Oh, yeah, cool.
Principal photography started in September of 2013,
but it was stalled
uh in november when paul walker tragically died in a car accident he was yeah driving it over 100
miles per hour i think and lost control of the car um this wasn't like during filming it wasn't
part of that it was just he just liked fast cars one of the one of the cars that you see him driving
in this film is actually just his car.
One of his cars.
He loved cars.
They were halfway through filming
when he died
and they kept all that footage
and just wrote it in?
Basically, yeah.
So when he passed away,
Walker had nowhere near
completed his scenes in the film.
So the studio used some stand-ins
and then CGI'd his face
onto their face.
Oh, 2013 level CGI.
2015.
Oh, 2015.
Well, they started it in 2013 and released it in 2015
because obviously it took a long time.
But two stand-ins for him were his brothers.
As a fan, if you're watching it, do you notice?
Oh, I can't tell because I'm short-sighted.
People always say,
oh, you can always tell the bits where it's him and where it's not.
And I'm like, I can't tell. It looks exactly the same to me. say oh you can always tell the bits where it's him and where it's not and i'm like i can't tell it looks exactly the same to me you
put him in all the movies honestly i wouldn't know same thing happened in this the star wars reboots
where uh they had like one of the old generals from the original movies was in it and i was like
jesus that guy's old yeah yeah he was old 50 years ago he looks old but not that much older
and then later i'm like everyone was like yeah i was weird wasn't when they had that general guy He was old 50 years ago. Wow. He looks old, but not that much older.
And then later I'm like, everyone was like, yeah.
It was weird, wasn't it, when they had that general guy, CGI?
Couldn't even.
It was all I could think about.
And I was like, oh, that's not what I was thinking. I couldn't think about.
In the prequels or the sequels.
Get a letter from the queen.
A guy that just fully did, like it was all CGI, right?
You're thinking.
Who am I thinking of?
You're thinking of. Jabba the Hutt.
Yeah, that's right.
He's CGI.
It's a man.
This is a human.
I was going to say you're thinking Jar Jar Binks
and I couldn't think of Jar Jar Binks.
Everybody's favourite character, Jar Jar Binks,
which is what Jarul, when he was young, he was Jarul
and then he was Jar Jar Binks when he was a bit older.
No, it's just Binks.
It's Binks.
Big Binks.
Anyway, so the movie is quite respected among fans
for paying tasteful tribute to Paul Walker,
which it really could have fucked up.
Like, they're CGI-ing his...
It could have been Frankensteined and awful,
but it was really quite beautiful.
This is the film that made me fall in love
and go back and watch all the other films.
I bawled my eyes out in this movie.
This is the reason I'm here today,
yelling the plot of some films at you.
Right, this is the one. This is why. the plot of some films at you this is the one
yeah this is why um you just like get through the first six yeah but it's worth it by seven
i do i do think it's worth it by five but that's fine it grossed 397.6 million worldwide
in its opening weekend which is the highest of all time at the time um after defeating sure so sure is now
in the hospital badly badly burnt and hurt uh they got amnesty for their past crime so now they're
free again they don't have to be cops and they're allowed to be free dom brian and the team are back
in the u.s they're living their lives brian accustomed this is paul walker accustoms himself
to life as a father i'm just saying that for matt accustoms himself to life as a father. I'm just saying that for Matt. Accustoms himself to life as a father.
And Dom's trying to help Letty regain her memory.
So he's like slowly, you know, reintroducing her to things that she's done before,
things they used to do when they were kids.
Owen's older brother, Deckard, Jason Statham, breaks into a hospital,
which is like high security hospital, where his comatose brother, Owen, is being held.
And he's like, oh, what you fucking gone and done?
Like,
he's like that.
Oh,
Owen,
I'm always having to bail you out.
Yeah.
It's a little brother.
So he breaks into the hospital and then he goes and breaks into Hobbs's
office in LA to extract profiles of Dom's crew for revenge against his
brother.
And to be honest,
his brother was trying to like sell a big weapon to terrorists,
which would have ended the world that he also lives in.
But I don't know.
I think he's being a baby.
I wouldn't be defending that brother, to be honest.
I'd be like, I'll ensure no relation.
What's the point of making money out of ending the world?
What are you doing with this money?
Can't take it with you, as they say.
Yeah.
Well, I guess the idea is like you sell the money to the terrorist
and the terrorist becomes a leader, like a...
What's the word for a fascist leader?
Like a leader who's, you know...
A dictator?
A dictator, yeah.
But you can become a dictator if you hold off the power,
if you hold the nuclear arms.
Anyway, after revealing his identity
deckard fights hobbs and this there's a lot of really cool fight scenes here and also elena is
there um they have a big fight it's just like she's like i don't know where i belong i guess
i'll work with a big cup yeah i guess i'll go back to copping yeah he starts calling her a woman
she's like he doesn't know i'm different. She's like, I guess I deserve that.
At least he remembers I'm here.
Deckard like detonates a bomb.
I feel really bad for Elena.
He detonates a bomb and then like jumps out a window.
It severely injures Hobbs and Hobbs and Elena are both okay though they escape
um out on the front porch of Dom's house where we see all the barbecues Mia and Dom are out there
she's like oh a package from Tokyo and he's like oh Han's trying to convert me to some different
type of turbo charge something and Dom and they have a little laugh they go ha ha ha classic Han
classic Han and then Dom learns mia is pregnant again oh my god
mia yeah she's standing there she's like oh she's watching brian put her son their son in the car
she's like i don't think he's very happy he told me the other day he misses the bullets
like he's like having full existential crisis like he's having a midlife crisis yeah
he doesn't miss the girls he doesn't miss the car chases he misses the bullets oh my god you'd
be hitting the panic button
at that point
yeah
and Dom's like
she's like
I feel like the picket fence
is strangling him
and he's like
no he's happy
he'll be fine
give him a bit of time
to adjust
and she's like
how does nine months sound
and Dom's like
oh my god
and she's like
and she reveals
she hasn't told Brian yet
she got pregnant
on that runway
in the last film
yeah
and gave birth on the runway still.
Yeah.
Anyway, so that's totally fine.
They're just having this little deep meaningful.
He's putting the kid in the car.
And then the phone rings.
And he picks up the phone.
Dom picks up the phone.
And he goes, Dominic Toretto, you don't know me, but you're about to.
And then the package on the front porch
explodes
and then
God the timing
yeah
it's amazing
when it happens
in the cinema
it's fucking amazing
because it's like
oh my god
Tokyo Drift is now
like it's so amazing
for me
and not according
to your face
not you
but like
and then
is everyone in the cinema
being like,
oh, so weird that they're all driving 2004 cars.
Wow.
Yeah, everyone says that.
Everyone says it.
It's like when you throw spoons in.
You know Japan.
Very behind.
Yeah, their technology.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, cars and technology.
I don't get it.
They're in the dark ages.
Because you would have been watching it like premiere night as well
Where everyone's dressing up as guys
Yeah, midnight screening
What did you dress up as?
I went as a Nissan Skyline
GT
I went as a Volkswagen Beetle
Toot toot
I'm Herbie
I imagine some
If you go to the early ones
The whole cinema would have been like
But if you went and saw it a month after the release?
Not so much.
You're the only one yelling in the Chadston cinema with the other people.
Just me going, wee!
Wee!
But yeah, it was very exciting.
Brian really quickly chucks his son in the car and closes the door of the van
and then gets on the ground.
Everyone's fine.
Everyone survives the explosion.
Oh, that would have been a really good chance to...
Kill him?
Yeah, they didn't do it.
They did not do that.
So Dom travels...
But you think the whole time you're like,
how's he going to die?
How's he going to die?
How's he going to die?
So Dom goes to Tokyo to get Han's body
and then that's when he meets...
Obviously, he meets Sean who is like the guy,
the army, military guy.
He's the white guy who does the driving in Tokyo Drift.
He's not important, but he meets Sean and Sean's like,
here's Han's stuff.
And he gives him some stuff that was found from the burning wreckage,
a picture of Giselle.
The animals.
Yep.
A picture of a gazelle.
He said that a couple of weeks ago.
We talked about Tom Brady's wife, Gazelle.
Look at his regret face.
That's so good.
And Letty's necklace.
Yeah.
The cross.
The cross.
The cross is there.
But Brad from Home Improvement.
Yeah, well, just wait.
home improvement yeah well just wait um as as dom brian tej and roman mourn han um and giselle at han's funeral so they're mourning both of them at the funeral at la in la um dom confronts deckard
in like an underground tunnel and he's like let's do this man to man and deckard's like no and he's
like there's like a bit where like Dom keeps trying to just fight him
like with his fists and Deckard keeps being like,
but I have weapons, no.
Like there's a bit where Dom drives his car towards Deckard.
Like they're just front two cars just driving at each other.
And Dom's like, oh, I've got the most biggest car.
And then Deckard's like reinforced his front bit of the car,
which is like a real dick move apparently.
Yeah.
And they're like, everyone judges him because they're like,
who fucking does that?
Who uses a weapon in a fight?
But that's fine.
So they're having that fight and then Dom's kind of losing.
That is so funny.
A bit of a dog act.
We're going to have a front on collision.
We only use cars.
Come on.
Okay.
Not lead cars.
It's car to car, man.
Come on.
Anyway, so then like military black ops people just like descend in this underground thing
and they're like, hello, stop the fighting.
And then there's a guy who walks up and he's like, hi, I'm Mr. Nobody.
Dom, I want you to come and work with me.
And then Dom's like, i don't understand this but mr
nobody's important he stays there so he's like a government guy um and he's like i'll help you to
stop deckard if you help me because i need to get something and he needs to get the god's eye
so he's like there's a thing called the god's eye which can hack into any mainframe and like
find anyone so if i go god's God's Eye, where's Matt Stewart?
It'll go, he's just left the McDonald's in Fitzroy.
Holy shit.
And so I know exactly where everyone is.
And he's like, if you find that for me and you rescue the creator of the God's Eye,
then also I will let you use the God's Eye to find and kill Deckard Shaw.
Even though you just had a...
You just had a shot and I did ruin it.
I did ruin it.
And you were probably going to win. Yeah, but I did ruin it. I did ruin it. And you were probably going to win.
Yeah, but I did ruin it.
So I'm sorry about that.
I will let you, as a government official,
I will let you use this incredibly terrifying tool to kill someone.
Yeah.
You get it first.
Don't use it then.
Because you'll obviously have a chance to use it then and then sell it or whatever.
But don't do that.
You give it to me.
You give it to me.
And then I'll give it back to you first.
I'll give you one.
You get the first go, but only one.
Is this going to be the longest podcast ever?
No, sadly.
Okay.
It's getting there.
It's getting there.
We're tracking.
We're on track.
Actually, yeah, maybe.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
All right.
Okay.
Let me just go through this.
So in this film, they, so they're like, yep.
Okay.
We'll go do it.
So they go and they've got a – there's a terrorist.
His name's Moses.
That's fine.
He's around.
And they go and save the hacker and creator of the God's Eye.
She's like a smart little hacker and creator, inventor woman.
She's played by Natalie Emanuel who is Khaleesi's right-hand man
in Game of Thrones.
So she's there.
They've got to go rescue her.
They rescue her in one of their truck heists.
The truck ends up dangling over off cliff
and Vin Diesel just kind of runs up the truck
as the truck falls into the...
Fuck, that's good.
Yeah, it's real good.
Did anybody think to put the truck in reverse
when it started to go off the edge of the cliff?
No, they didn't think about it.
Why doesn't anybody think to chuck it in reverse?
They never do.
It's always just truck off the cliff.
So embarrassing.
All the time.
I wish more people knew how to drive. It's embarrassing. Chuck it in reverse? They never do. It's always just truck off the cliff. So embarrassing. All the time. I wish more people knew how to drive.
It's embarrassing.
Chuck it in reverse.
It's very embarrassing.
Some of these actors did learn how to drive during the first film.
Yeah.
And it's a treacherous mountain range that they're on.
So they're on this treacherous mountain range and they're like,
it's very hard to get to.
The way that they get to this treacherous mountain range,
no way in.
You can't drive in.
You've got to hit them where they won't expect it,
where it's physically impossible to get to, right?
So you're getting attacked, this big armoured vehicle with their cars.
Yep.
The way they're going to do that is they're going to parachute cars
out of a plane.
Yes, obviously.
Which is something they actually did.
So they really did this parachute stunt.
The film crew, like, pushed a bunch of vehicles with parachutes,
I guess set to, like, timers or remotes or whatever,
out of a C-130 cargo plane.
A car can't pull the string.
Cars don't have hands, no.
Not yet.
They don't think of that.
Not yet.
They're halfway down.
How are they going to pull the...
They're radioing the car.
All right, Ferrari, now just pull the call.
Ferrari, can you hear me?
Oh, no, I've lost contact.
Ferrari!
They also had skydivers Jumping at the same time
To film the cars
To get footage of the cars
But you'd have to not film each other
Yeah
Like get out of the shot
They're all wearing those green suits
So they can
Paint each other out
But it was pretty cool
Beautiful
That's wild
They really did it
They really really did it
That's fun I'm looking forward to that part
It's fucking the best part
And like Roman's car
Because he's kind of Always funny Roman's car's like drift's off the wrong
spot he's like ah like tokyo drifts off yeah tokyo drifts off um anyway so i'm gonna be like
in that scene when they're out in parachutes i'm gonna be like
and now uh natalie emmanuel ramsey the hacker is now part of their gang.
Sure.
And they're trying to find the God's Eye.
And she's like, well, I can make the God's Eye again,
but she's got like a chip.
But the chip she gave to a guy and the guy put it in a car.
Don't know why.
Chips in cars.
Get some pockets in your pants.
Cargo pants.
Lots of pockets.
The car is located in a penthouse.
That's what someone said.
Just put it in your cargo pants.
Cargo?
I'll put it in my car.
Go.
Put it in my car.
Pants.
Vroom, vroom.
Yeah.
It's weird they got confused by it.
It's pretty straightforward, but.
Okay, so the car is in a penthouse.
It belongs to a billionaire.
They have to get in.
He's a billionaire.
He's having a party.
So the girls get invited by being hot.
They've got to get on the invite list.
Yeah, to a penthouse party.
So they go to the penthouse party.
Ronda Rousey, who's like a wrestler.
UFC fighter, yep. Her and Michelle Rodriguez have an amazing fight in like ball gowns. house party ronda rousey who's like a ww yes wrestler ufc fighter yep her and michelle rodriguez
have an amazing fight in like ball gowns it's very cool and feminist so take that matt because
you can be wait take that i'm on board i invented feminism this is what i do yeah take that as a
reward yeah because feminism is all about women being able to do
whatever they want to do if you want to put on a ball gown and like do your hair and your makeup
wear some pretty heels that's fine and if you want to you know kick the shit out of another woman
that's fine if you want to do the two at the same time even better let me film it film it that's
awesome um okay so it is also it's a it's a like in hypersport it's like a very
fancy car um the guy just has it he doesn't drive it dom's like this is a crime to keep this car up
here and not drive it like he's very upset about it they get in there you find the little chippy
thing and then they get caught out which is when they have the fight with ronda rousey and because
they get caught out and they need to get out what what they do now, so they like lock down the penthouse.
No one can get in, no one can get out.
But they drive.
So they're in the Etihad Towers.
Did I tell you they went to Abu Dhabi?
I'm trying to breeze through this.
No, okay.
They're in Abu Dhabi.
They're in the Etihad Towers
and they choose to escape by driving the car
from one tower out the window of the penthouse,
out the smash car to the adjoining tower, to the next tower.
They jump in a car from tower to tower, which is amazing.
Because they can't just take the chip out.
They have to take the car.
Well, they have to escape.
Right.
And I think they can't get it out, but I don't know.
I don't know if that's what it is.
And also, Dom was furious that he's wasting this good car at this
yeah so I'm gonna stack it in this other building yeah I'm gonna fly this car
this deserves to fly and so yeah so they they do that and then they've got the little
chippy thing and they use the God's eye to find deckard um but then yeah
that's when they go find deckard they're like excuse me and dom's like and deckard's like oh
he's eating a steak like they get there to his secret hideaway and he's like num num num i've
been waiting for you and dom's like bro and he's like what did you expect like what'd you expect
may you just be waving a white flag oh that's good and thank you and he's like you know i don't
care about all your friends right tell me and he goes i don't got friends i got family and then
deckard goes well i gotta love friends yeah and then the terrorist from before moses jacande
jumps out and he's like i'm gonna shoot you and then mr nobody gets shot but it's fine he calls
one of those police helicopter ambulances that we've heard about from the first film um brian is also there and he shouldn't be there
he's a dad um he needs to go home i don't know why they haven't retired him but they just
refuse to do it he just keeps doing it he's like one more one more last hurrah um so then they have
this big sort of they have a big fight through the streets because Jakande, the terrorist,
is trying to get back to get the god's eye or to get Ramsey
to make her make another god's eye.
They have a high-speed chase through the streets.
They're not in – I don't know what city this is.
It's not Abu Dhabi.
They're back in America.
I think it's LA because there's like chaos in the streets
and they're throwing Ramsey from car to car so he can't find her
but he's in a helicopter.
They're throwing her from car to car.
Just passing her around like go under a tunnel.
Chuck her in your car.
You'll never find her.
We've got to keep her safe.
We'll keep her safe.
Chuck her over there.
And she's like hacking the whole time.
So she's like trying to hack.
She's got a laptop strapped to her.
Hack, hack, hack, hack.
You know how they do that, nerds. Hack, hack, hack, hack, hack. You know how they do that, nerds.
Hack, hack, hack, hack, hack.
That's all they do.
Can't stop them.
Yeah, can't stop them.
You say, Brendan, could you just sit and have dinner with your family one time?
Hacking away.
That's my son, Brendan.
That's your son, Brendan.
That's a big disappointment.
Okay, so Hobbs has been in the hospital this whole time from the start sure
and hobbs looks out the window he sees the chaos and he goes oh no and he stands up and he says to
his little daughter who's there he says daddy's gotta go to work get fucked and then he flexes
his arm no causing the cast on his arm to explode off his arm no and then he throw he throws an amp drives an ambulance into a drone that
jacqueline is like using and then he like oh my god there's grenades deckard and dom are having
a showdown on the top of a parking lot which they've kind of ruined so it's crumbling around
them dom gets deckard by like stomping on the ground.
He's like the thing about a street fight.
Because this is – he's like finally we'll do it man to man.
They're going to actually fight just fist to fist.
And they're doing that.
And then Dom's like the thing about a street fight is the street always wins.
And he stomps his foot and then the parking lot just kind of collapses.
And then he has to like get in the ramp and drive up into the helicopter.
It doesn't mean anything.
The street always wins.
It doesn't mean anything.
And then he drives into the – he goes up a ramp into the helicopter.
What?
And throws a bunch of grenades that he just found in a car into the helicopter.
The rock shoots those grenades and it explodes.
But Dom has obviously jumped into the air as high as a helicopter in the car.
And so when he crashes, you know, he's not in a good way,
but he is and he's not breathing.
And he comes back to life because Letty says,
I remember, I remember everything.
I remember us getting married in the Dominican Republic.
I remember that this necklace is the symbol of our,
it's our wedding ring.
Like that's our implacable wedding ring.
And so he comes back to life.
Okay.
So it's turned into a Disney movie where true love.
True love.
True love prevails.
And then Brian's like, all right.
One single magical tear.
Yeah.
That's basically it.
Falls onto him.
It's funny because she's like, get off him.
And then she gets on him and just kind of does the same thing.
Because they're trying to make him breathe.
Anyway, it's fine.
And then she gets on him and just kind of does the same thing because they're trying to make him breathe.
Anyway, it's fine.
And then Brian and Mia are playing happily on the beach with their son
and having a nice time.
And they're like, it's going to be different now
because he's going to stay with his family.
And all the rest of the crew are kind of watching.
And they're like, say goodbye.
And they kind of leave.
And then Brian pulls up next to Dom in a different car.
And he's like, were you going to say goodbye?
You were going to leave without saying goodbye?
And he's like, no, you'll always be my brother you'll always be with
me and then i'm gonna cry if i had done this one first i would have gotten like it would have been
worth it but just thinking about the movie while rushing through it. I'm genuinely upset.
But it says for Paul.
And then there's a fork in the road and they drive in two separate directions and the music plays.
And it's like, it's been a long time.
There's a montage of Paul Walker and all Brian's things that he's done.
And it says for Paul.
And it's so sad and very classy.
It doesn't sound like that because of the helicopter and the grenades.
But trust me on this. But they don't show the character being killed he doesn't get
killed he just goes to live drives off into him he's just retiring now they took that from
neighbors as well like kyle minogue just moved to the gold coast
did he go with his two he's with mia and okay, right. He's retiring from crime now to be a fan.
He's ready now to settle down.
That's like the...
He's ready for the next...
Oh, it's so sad.
But that's...
I like that.
I like that they didn't just, you know...
It sounds like there were many opportunities
where they could have killed him off.
They nearly killed him so many times it was almost a joke.
But yeah.
And that was the first time that i remember
noticing the fast and the furious franchise again because it like grossed so much money
the box office is like the fifth highest grossing movie of all time up until that point or something
and i was like hang on a second these movies are massive again yeah right yeah it's pretty wild
that's really interesting um also you uh do you guys did you guys see that
uh paul walker's daughter was walked down the aisle by vin diesel yeah no i didn't see that
that's nice that's very nice yeah she got married and vin diesel did it oh beautiful
that sounds like familiar also it might seem like um
hobbs uh duane the rock johnson and vin diesel were in different movies
in this film.
We don't really see them much together.
Yeah, that's true.
And the reason is that's because when the spat happened.
That's when this spat happened.
I feel like this is going for too long.
No, I think this is the most important bit so far.
You've got to explain the spat.
All right.
Okay.
So there's a little spat.
So it happened so
the rock in uh i think it was uh 2016 they were just finishing up shooting uh fate of the furious
when he finally acknowledged it but in 2017 it was there was rumors of it boiling so in 2016
he said uh there's no other franchise that gets my blood boiling more than this one this is on
instagram my female co-stars are always amazing and i love them my male co-stars however are a He said, there's no other franchise that gets my blood boiling more than this one. This is on Instagram.
My female co-stars are always amazing and I love them.
My male co-stars, however, are a different story.
Some conduct themselves as stand-up men and true professionals while others don't.
The ones that are too chicken shit to do anything about it anyway.
Candy asses.
Now, wait, who tweeted that?
Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
Wow, that seems out of character for The Rock.
Taking it public.
Yeah, took it public.
He must have been furious.
Yeah.
And fast.
And fast as well.
And fast.
Yeah, and then Vin sort of came back and downplayed it
and was like, you know, I think it's been blown out of proportion a bit.
I protect everyone on set.
I protect my little brother, Dwayne.
He always calls him my little brother, Dwayne. He always calls him my little brother, Dwayne.
Sorry, but I mean, it's Dwayne the Rock.
That must piss the Rock off, surely.
Yeah, I think he does it probably.
Yeah, he said, I protect the franchise.
I protect everyone, including Dwayne.
I protected Dwayne more than he'll ever know.
And it doesn't matter.
He doesn't have to know, but he appreciates it.
He knows it.
Dwayne has only got one Vin in his life.
Dwayne Johnson only has one big brother in this film world
and that's me and Johnson said
I got one big brother and it's my half brother
and that's it.
That's my actual brother.
You dumb shit.
He came out and said, that's wrong.
No. Incorrect.
It's so funny to be like, nah, we're really
close. I think we've
got a brother relationship and now the guy's like, nah.
Oh, we do not have that.
You have misread.
Is it fully misread or he was just trying to like PR it away?
He was trying to PR it away.
And he's been like very sneaky.
Like he did it recently.
He was like, oh, all the fans want you to join, brother.
Come on.
You've got to come back for Fast 10.
Everyone wants you.
What do you say?
And The Rock was like, I've publicly distanced myself from this. This kind of is hard. you know join brother come on you got to come back for fast 10 everyone wants you what do you say and
the rock was like i've publicly distanced myself from this this kind of is hard like yeah you can't
make me look you're trying to manipulate me stop it oh didn't he say like you know my kids call you
uncle duane or uncle duane you're always uncle duane in my house not a holiday goes by that you
don't send you know and he was like don't bring your kids into this, man. This is weird. Yeah, he's like, fuck off.
You're being a child.
But were they only in, sorry, that was F7
and they weren't really in the movie together.
Was it only Furious 6 that they were basically?
Furious 5 is when he comes in.
Yeah, okay.
Fast 5.
So they did two movies properly together.
They did two movies properly together.
This one they just fought.
But there's also a famous like, they're rumoured to have always wanted to have equal amount of hits.
Yeah, that's right.
And you kind of tell when you watch it.
It has to look like they're equal.
Neither of them are loose to each other.
Yeah.
Oh, equal amount of hits as in they punch each other the same amount of times.
Yeah, the same amount of times.
That's so weird.
Yeah.
And the final hit is always them like fist to fist falling over.
They have a go fist to fist.
People in the crew and the other actors kind of talk about... Well, they seem to...
If they side with anyone, they'd side with Vin,
but they seem to say that everyone's great and everything's perfect
and everyone's good to work with.
So there's no clear arsehole here.
It's not really clear.
So no one's backing up The Rock saying...
Vin sucks.
Vin Diesel does treat him poorly.
No, no one's saying that.
Yeah, very confusing.
Yeah, I wonder what the...
I think Tyrese Gibson maybe or Ludacris,
one of the other main guys,
didn't like The Rock as well.
It was on Vin's side.
It feels a bit like for everyone except The Rock,
it's the biggest cash cow in their life.
Yeah.
The Rock's like...
I got Jumanji.
Yeah, I make tens of millions.
You guys seen Moana yeah yeah until today i was thinking hobbs versus is hobbs versus short is in this
oh babe it's i've still got it because i in my head hobbs versus sure was vin diesel versus the
rock but sure is deckard deckard sure yeah that's so that's what they did with him They just spun him off Right
They spun him off
He's like
I'll still be in this world
But just as long as
Vin Diesel's not in it
Yeah
And they're like
Alright
Yeah
Basically
Yeah right
So they decided
They were going to do
Any scenes together
In the Fate of the Furious
I will just tell you
In the Fate of the Furious
We see Cypher
Who is played by
Charlize Theron
Okay
She has dreads and she is white.
The Rock is very seriously coaching his daughter's soccer team.
That's important.
They are doing more things with a big magnet.
Finds out Dom turns against the family.
Dom's obsessed with the family. He's turns against the family. Dom?
Dom's obsessed with the family.
He's obsessed with the family.
What could make Dom turn on his family?
Magnet.
He's got metal in his brain.
It's not a magnet.
To protect the family.
To protect the family.
Is it a car?
So Cipher, Charlize Theron, shows him a picture and makes him come to the dark side and work against his family.
So they're working for the cops again now against Cipher,
who's a terrorist, who turns out to be in charge of Bra side and work against his family. So they're working for the cops again now against Cypher,
who's a terrorist, who turns out to be in charge of Braga
and all these other people.
Oh, they did that in James Bond too.
I hated that.
I loved it.
And she's powerful.
She's Charlize.
She's got great, great hair.
Yeah, great appropriate hair.
Was she famous when she came into this?
Very famous.
Very famous to the point where she's not doing much.
She's mostly sitting and hacking and, and like it could be shot during COVID.
She's never in it.
Wait, will this movie come out?
This is like very recent.
Yeah.
I was wondering if she was doing.
Charlize Theron around.
Charlize, she sort of like came on the map.
What, 2020?
When did she do Monster?
Is that around?
Before that.
Really?
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah, but we also meet helen mirren
she's she's no this made her so this is deckard and owens mom yes oh my god she's like doing like
a michael caine impression kind of thing like she's like up in that empire i used to do and
she like drives a car and she's very fun she's a crimp right in in this movie yeah she would
she loves it she begged to be in it she was like let she's a crim. She'd fit right in in this movie. Yeah, she would.
She loves it.
She begged to be in it.
She was like, let me in it.
I love driving cars.
Of course you can be in it.
And yes, that's why she said, I love driving cars in movies.
And she does, she's got a really cool like scene, not in this one, but later on.
Have you seen Red?
Yeah, she's fucking great in that.
Tell him you're in Machine Guns and it's real fun.
Yeah.
You're like, yes!
She's really good.
Anyway, the secret blackmail, do you want to know what it was?
Yeah. What made him?
Yeah.
So apparently, Cypher is holding elena remember elena oh i remember elena and elena's
baby so dom had a son that he didn't know about oh that makes it so much more awkward the family
it does make it awkward for letty but letty's like no i'll take you on don't worry about it
elena gets killed by cypher so you don't have to worry about it. Elena gets killed by Cypher. So you don't have to worry about that again. She gets killed. Yeah, she gets murdered because Dom's like,
Dom doesn't kill Letty when he has the chance.
And so Cypher's like, you've annoyed me.
And she's like on a plane.
And I should have just read the report, but she kills Cypher.
I'm sorry, she kills Elena to punish Dom and is like, the baby's next.
So she's using them to control him.
But then Deckard Shaw.
She doesn't sound like a nice person at all.
Deckard Shaw's doing the family.
Toot toot.
Are you kidding me?
Yep.
He didn't seem like he would.
He wants a pardon.
Now he's on the family.
Helen Mirren's in the family.
And he's like.
That's the whole English family's there.
Yeah.
So now it's double families.
Wow.
And he is there and he saves the baby.
So he becomes a good guy during this film.
They have to work together during this film.
I reckon they're genuinely thinking this –
they're now going this new baby will be the face of this franchise in 22 years.
I bet you they're actually thinking that.
Big time.
There's going to be a resurgence.
And like our kids will talk about how it's a remake of an old movie
and we'll go, how dare you say that.
Back before they made them holographic.
Yeah.
Because Paul Walker had two kids too, right?
I think so, yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
There's three already in the future.
Well, there is a, I think it's called Spy Races,
a Netflix series for kids called Fast Furious Spy Races,
which could actually be about them. I haven't checked. Oh, Fast Furious Spy Races, which could actually be about them.
I haven't checked.
Oh, my God.
Spy Races.
Anyway, it ends with a barbecue and Coronas.
No, no Coronas in this one.
This is a Budweiser one?
Yes, this is a Budweiser one.
Charlize Theron is not killed.
She's still around.
348 cars have been destroyed.
Hell, yeah.
Ramsay is also part of the family now, which is important to say.
And I think that's probably...
Yep, that's it.
And then...
What happens to the kid?
See, I was trying to make this quick.
The kid's fine.
Deckard Shaw saves the kid on the plane,
kills everyone on the plane with the baby in like a baby...
You know those strap-on baby things?
With the baby?
Yeah, he's got a baby carrier and he's like...
Okay, Jesse's statement already so hot so hot strap a baby to him it's
holy shit i reckon is this how they got the idea for the pacifier yes yeah yeah jason statham i
thought actually let's make it vin diesel yeah it's strap a baby to him there's a bit where they
go to russia and everything's frozen and there's a submarine that they have to fight and the rock punches a torpedo into a car punches a what punches a torpedo into a car what part of punches
i don't understand why you're asking into a car yeah the torpedo is coming it's like not not today
punch on the ice they're in a moving vehicle in the ice. So good. It's really good.
Love that.
Yeah.
It's very, very good.
So we've only got one to go.
Well, you've got Hobbs and Shaw and F9.
Also Hobbs and Shaw isn't counted in the nine.
Nah.
Okay.
So there's nine films, but there's about 25 films.
Really?
Well, there's just a lot.
There's many.
Yeah.
Including the short film.
And that one, do they call that the Fate of the Furious F8?
F8, yes.
Yeah, Fate of the Furious.
Good stuff.
That's good stuff.
And that's a fucking beautiful, beautiful movie.
Beautiful.
Everyone loves it.
I'm just checking if I...
Nah.
The rock punch is the thing.
That's important.
That's the most important.
Rock punch is a torpedo.
That's fucking good.
Hobbs and Shaw is directed by David Leitch,
who also did Deadpool and written, again, by Chris Morgan.
Chris Morgan.
Chris Morgan to you.
And Drew Pierce.
Chris Morgan.
It's 2019.
It's actually about, so 2019 and it's about a super virus.
Oh, wow.
That is engineered in a lab.
And we meet a third Shaw, a girl Shaw called Hattie.
Hattie Shaw.
Hattie Shaw.
Laid by Vanessa Kirby.
Hello, I'm Hattie Shaw.
She's got a team of MI6 agents.
So she's like a cop.
She's a good Shaw.
She's like, my stupid brothers, I'm on the right side of the law.
And my stupid mother.
And my stupid mother.
I was always in prison.
But then she, so the bad guy in this one is Brixton Law,
who is Idris Elba, who's like a super human.
He's been, he's like sort of military,
militarized kind of Terminator-y superhuman guy.
There's a bit in it where he says, I'm black Superman.
And it's fucking amazing.
He goes, look at me, I'm black Superman.
And then everyone in, there's like interviews where
Dwayne The Rock Johnson's like, yeah, that was my idea.
And Idris Elba's like, no, I just sort of said it on the set.
And then the producers are like, yeah, we just kind of went with it like we'll just like everyone takes
credit for it but like it's not in the script so it was probably his idea yeah because he came out
of his mouth that's so funny he's like he keeps taking credit for it i said it anyway it's fine
um so he's like he can do superhuman feats and the virus is called the snowflake. So, how do you...
Initially, they were thinking about calling it cuck.
Yeah, they were.
Yeah.
It was in a workshop.
Soy boy.
Soy boy.
Have you been cucked?
I've caught cuck.
I've been cucked.
Sorry, guys.
I've got to get a seven days' ice.
I've been cucked.
That's very funny.
Sorry guys, got to get a seven days ISO, I've been cucked.
That's very funny.
So Hobbs and Shaw are recruited to track down this virus because,
okay, so Hattie's working on the virus,
trying to get the virus with her MI6 agents and then Brixton, the bad man, Idris Elba,
injects her with the virus.
So they give her the virus and they're like,
it's going to be active in like two days
and you'll be contagious and you'll die and it's like a very bad virus um and it's it's more your deltas
you know than your omicrons and um matt so delta was um that's the house that in legally born that
l woods was in yeah um so she gets framed for stealing the virus it's a whole thing she gets framed and then they're
coming after her and then they find her and they realize you know who she is and then they go to
samoa and they have a big uh hand-to-hand combat fight with people who have guns and big weapons
and helicopters and stuff because they're like they're there and they'll it's hobbs is going
home to his family because they'll be safe there and then they're gonna get attacked and they're like they're there and they'll it's Hobbes is going home to his family because they'll be safe there and then they're gonna get attacked and they're like where are all the guns
we're all dad's guns they're like we got rid of dad's guns and he's like so we all we have is
these family heirlooms like traditional Samoan weapons and so there's just all these Samoan guys
with all these Samoan weapons and it looks very frightening but also there are guns on the other
side and they're like we fight at dawn and so they're like at like, it's midnight.
Like it's very dark.
They start this battle and then all of a sudden it's day.
And then all of a sudden there's a storm.
And everyone who's seen the film,
like there's so many forums online,
people being like, what?
What is this time jump?
But anyway, it's very fun.
Great fights.
Yeah.
Wow.
And now, yeah, Hobbs and Shaw are like fun sort of buddies, but they hate each other, but they're fun sort of buddies in the end. Yeah. Wow. And now, yeah, Hobbs and Shaw are like fun sort of buddies,
but they hate each other, but they're fun sort of buddies in the end.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
That one sounds fun.
Yeah.
That dropped off a bit, didn't it, in like box office and stuff?
I don't think so.
No, it was still big.
I think it was still big.
Yeah, right.
But, yeah, and then we arrived at F9, which is huge.
I think it wasn't as big as F7.
Yeah.
Because that one was...
But it's sort of like F7 is more like the Avengers,
whereas Hobbs and Shaw is more like Ant-Man and the Wasp.
Absolutely.
So, to put it into terms that Jess would understand.
Yeah.
I was going to say, thank you.
Yeah.
Okay.
F9.
Now, there are great fucking stunts in this,
so I'm going to go through this and you're going to listen.
Yeah.
You can't leave.
We've done that the whole time.
We've done that for two hours, 50 minutes.
Oh, no.
Oh, God.
Hey, listen, if you're at home, thanks.
It's still quicker than watching nine movies though.
It is quicker.
It's much quicker.
Okay, F9, directed again by Justin Lin with a screenplay by Daniel Casey.
What?
And Lin.
Yeah.
Yeah.
2021, this came out.
Daniel Casey.
Yeah, I know.
It's not fucking Good Morgan.
Oh, it's not.
Not Good Morgan.
Sorry.
Not Good Morgan.
I thought you recognised that name and I was like, wow.
Yeah. The Good Morgan. I thought you recognised that name and I was like, wow.
The Daniel Cate.
Two years after the confrontation with the Charlies Theron and her dreadlocks,
Dom is retired.
He's just hanging out with his son, Brian.
Oh, yeah, he calls his son Brian,
which is announced at the end of that movie.
So his son, Brian and Lady. But Elena had already had the had the baby yeah and had she been raising the baby for a while she tells him she gave him a middle name
but she was waiting for dom to give him a first name but she made no attempt to find dom it's
weird that's okay it's weird yep anyway so that she they call him brian and um letty's like
letty's like the adopted him this is the mum of the kid, right?
Oh, my God.
And then suddenly cars come and they're like,
oh, little Brian, remember what we said?
Remember the game?
And so he like hides and they're all like they get the guns,
they get a big shotgun because they're out on a farm
and then Roman and Tej get out of the car and Ramsey with their hands up
and they're like, hey, and it's a bit of a fun fake out.
And they're like, you should have called.
And he's like, oh, you wouldn't answer.
And then they are like, hey, we got to go help Mr. Nobody
because once Mr. Nobody arrested Charlize Theron and her dreads,
the plane that they were transporting her on was attacked by rogue agents
who took her, who took Charlize Theron and her dreads.
And also on board there was half
of a deadly device called project Ares that can magnetically affect all the world's electrical
systems so it's a big magnet and um I don't understand how that helps but that's not why
we watch the movies is it it's not for the plot no um Dom agrees to help them it's not we don't
watch the movies to the pot because we got them all on this podcast yeah um Dom agrees to help them. We don't watch the movies because we got them all on this podcast.
Dom agrees to help them after seeing a photo
of a necklace
just like his
in the pictures
from Mr. Nobody's Crash.
He's like,
one last job again.
So he sees a necklace
like his.
Yeah, it's exactly
the same as his
in the photos
from Mr. Nobody's Crash site.
We don't know
what it is yet.
It's just like a
very basic it's
pretty specific it's very and he's wearing his own he's got his and he's like what's this but
he knows what it is but we don't know okay so um so they go letty gives her little cross to little
brian just in case something happens to her and they're like yep let's go they're going to uh
monte quinto so they leave the kid to look after himself for a bit No, let me tell you what
Brian is babysitting
So this becomes a thing after F7
They're always like, Brian's at home with the kids
So he's gone to Uncle Brian
But you never see him
You never see him
You see his car pull up
Or he like speaks over a fence or something
And says lines that he can have a tuna sandwich
His mother's got a very similar forehead to him
so
that's awesome
and do people like that
when he's mentioned
it's like he's living on
it was nice at first
and then now
it's like
it's become a joke
yeah
it feels like
like if you keep doing it
just stop talking about him
it's like a joke
like haha
he's still here
yeah don't worry about him
meet him back home
they used to make fun of that on Neighbours
because Kylie Minogue was so big
and they'd have like her mum or whatever would be on the phone going,
sorry, I'm just talking to Charlene.
It's like, she's gone.
Yeah.
Let her go.
Let go of Charlene.
Charlene, they're still living on the Gold Coast.
Yeah.
They just bought a four-park super pass. So they're up to it this weekend. Anyway. Charlene, they're still living on the Gold Coast. They just bought a four-park super pass.
So they're up to it this weekend.
Anyway, Charlene, love, I've got visitors.
I've got to go.
Got to go, love.
In Montaquinto, they are in a militarized zone.
They're not supposed to be there, but they're looking for the plane crash
because they've got to find this device or the half of the device
and see if they can help Mr. Nobody.
May I just say that you three look like the most tired people
I've ever seen in my life.
Roman is driving a tank rather than like a Jeep.
So he's just like got a tank because he's scared, I think, is the joke.
They find the plane, they get the device,
and then gunfire rains down on them,
and there's this incredible jungle chase where um roman's tank gets wedged
between two cliffs and then it's above a landmine after they've driven through all these landmines
and he still doesn't die and then he gives us a bit of a speech later on being like we've done
all this crazy shit we never die like why do we never die and they're like i don't know he's like
what's going on and you think oh they're setting it up for him to die,
but he does not die.
They're setting it up for like a fourth wall break.
Yeah.
It is almost that because he's like, this is crazy, right?
We did this and this and this and this.
We did all these Coronas.
Anyway, there's a jungle chase and they see a guy
who comes and steals the device and Letty turns to Dom and says,
that was Jacob, right?
And he goes, yeah, that was Jacob.
And we're like, who is Jacob?
Okay, thank God.
Okay.
And then there's a flashback.
Yeah.
1989, Jack Toretto, father of Dom and Mia and Jacob
dies in a fiery crash. There's like a, he's doing racing, like Formula One racing and he dies in a fiery crash.
There's like a, he's doing racing, like Formula One racing
and he dies in a fiery crash.
It sounds like a horror movie trope.
Yeah.
Well, somebody, it is kind of like that.
Somebody tampered with the car.
He was wearing a hockey mask.
Yeah.
Somebody tampered with the car and then the guy who beat the dad
was like an arsehole about it and Dom goes to,
the first time Dom goes to jail.
It's cause he beats the shit out of this guy for being an asshole about
their dead dad.
And then while he's in prison,
he's talking to some guys about like tampering with the car and like why the
car exploded.
And they're like,
Oh yeah,
there's this common thing that happens when people try to throw the race.
And then sometimes the car explodes.
And then he's like,
has a flashback and he's like,
I remember Jacob working on the car
that day and he realizes his brother killed his dad and he gets out of prison and he challenges
jacob to a race and he's like this is your last chance and it's like you you're just gonna keep
driving like it's like we're gonna have a race and you're just gonna keep driving and if i ever
see you again that's it um you're not my family anymore and so that's he just keeps driving then we come back to
the current time and um there's meant to be a bridge where dom and letty are but instead of
being a bridge there there's just like a metal wire and so they sort of georgia the jungle across
to like a big crevice so there's like like two cliff faces, a terrifying death drop.
And they,
somehow the car has hands and can hold on to like a metal.
They just drive really fast.
They grab this like metal thing and they swing like on a vine.
They are parents.
Yeah.
It's,
it's crazy.
Why are you doing this?
Yeah.
It's.
Did,
did one of them have sex with a car and then that car with hands is the baby car?
Yeah, I think so.
Holy shit.
It sounds like they're trying to edge in on The Rock's territory as well.
He does the jungle movies.
Yeah, he does.
It is very jungle.
Jumanji, Jungle Cruise.
Isn't he famously a guy who does a lot of jungle films?
Yeah, yeah.
It's pretty amazing.
Anyway, so they're just chasing down Jacob for this whole film
and then Jacob's working with this guy who gets them arrested but then the guy the person
who arrests them is in riot gear and then they take off the their riot gear and it's cardi b
lisa from who we never met before but was mentioned one time in the dominican republic
six movies ago um and she's like yeah this is my private army i've got my private army now
it's a beautiful web they've weaved
yeah
yeah
it is beautiful
and they're all hot
they're all really hot girls
then they go to Edinburgh
and they like drive
through all the streets
of Edinburgh
they do love to get
around the globe
up in Edinburgh
and it's great
and they're having
a fantastic time
I am going as fast
as I can
if they ever do
like an Australian one
which eventually happens
normally once the popularity's dropped off,
you should be able to get a role in it, I think.
I would love to.
I've done enough work on this report to have a role.
You know everything.
Is there any name that's been mentioned at one point?
I'd love to be in the writer's room for it.
I'd love if they were taking like ghost writers
or if they were doing notes or punch-ups,
I'd be like, all right.
Get me in there.
Chris Morgan's a one-horse race.
That's not what that means.
Maybe I am getting tired.
Anyway, it ends fine.
So do we see who plays Jacob?
Do we know who the brother is?
Yeah, so it's John Cena plays Jacob.
I was wondering where he came in because I've seen him on the posters
and I was like, so he plays the evil brother.
The evil brother.
He could definitely be a brother.
Who then, of course, is redeemed and enters the family again.
In F9?
Yeah, in F9, at the end of F9.
So F10, he'll be there.
Yeah, F10, he'll be there.
They're just collecting celebrities as they go.
Yeah, that's what they do.
That's their whole vibe.
Does that mean that each person's in the movie for about eight seconds
because they've got to show so many people per movie?
Kind of, but because there's like a million cars,
you can cut between all the cars and it's pretty good.
They all get their own car.
So, but Vin's still the lead?
Vin's still the lead, yeah.
It's his thing.
And then also something that's very important is that Tej and Roman,
they need to disable a satellite so that Project Ares can't ruin anything.
So, they punch a satellite?
No.
Listen to me.
Listen to me right now, Jess Perkins.
Oh, no.
Ramsey's trying to hack it.
She can't hack it.
And so as a plan B, they-
Cardi B.
As a Cardi B, in a rocket car built by Sean
and the guys from Tokyo Drift, like Hans' mates from Tokyo Drift.
They come back.
Home Improvement.
They come back.
They're building a rocket car.
It's kind of makeshift.
They've never used it before.
They launch Roman and Tej into space
and they drive their car.
Drive.
Toot, toot.
Into space. Into space.
Into space.
They've got like shitty old spacesuits that they're like duct taping up
and they drive their car into a satellite to break it
and then they're rescued by astronauts on the International Space Station.
Oh my gosh.
Let me just say that that plot line is ludicrous.
Why are they always the ones put in charge of these issues?
Well, because Tej is like the vehicle guy.
Oh, no, I understand their skill sets,
but there are like governments and actual people who work on space.
Because they're just the best ones.
Yeah.
At what?
They're the best ones at being crime and fighting crime.
Someone at NASA
Would have been like
We need to put together a team
And they would have been like
I know exactly who to ask
It always happens
It's always like an FBI agent
Being like
Well how are we going to find
A team capable of this
And then it's like
That's so fun
Yeah
Latin rock plays
And they're hanging out
On the beach
Drinking Coronas
And they're like
You want me to what?
I can't handle it.
It's really good.
They go to space.
So where are they going to go in Fast 10?
Yeah, they get more ridiculous every time.
They went to fucking space.
Like, what are they going to do now?
Underwater.
It's got to be underwater.
Jason Momoa.
He's been underwater before.
I reckon they're going to go inside a volcano.
Into the core of the earth.
Yeah.
Down into the fortress.
Well, Dwayne Johnson's been there before.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Journey to the center of the earth. So is the phrase. Yeah, Down into the fortress. Well, Dwayne Johnson's been there before. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Journey to the center of the Earth.
Journey there, yeah.
So is the phrase.
Yeah, the phrase has been there.
Anyway, that's what, now you're all caught up and ready to watch Fast 10.
Do we have a release date for number 10?
No.
When it comes out, can you, like, let's all go.
Let's get a big group together and let's go.
Would it be okay if we come along?
Yeah.
Because I want to watch you watch it.
You have to understand that I'll be going at midnight.
Oh, no, it's 2023.
Will we be wearing our costumes?
Yeah, I'm going as the space car.
I'm going to dress up as Nicolas Cage as Shelby,
which I think I realise now from a different film.
You've realised just now?
Yeah, I did think it was.
I thought I was wondering when you were going to get to it,
but I think that might be a different franchise.
Yeah.
No, I didn't get to it.
I'm sure there's like a really big other stunt that I missed,
but I think the Jumanji car and the space
are probably the most important parts of F9.
So sorry, everybody.
Thanks so much for letting us know about all of that
This has been a different kind of Dugon
Which I've enjoyed
Yeah, we've had a lot of fun here
And I actually am very excited to watch all the movies now
Yeah, I'm glad you're excited
Because I thought about doing Guide Dogs
And then I didn't do that
I did just the Fast and the Furious movies
So they're similar
Yeah, that's right
Guide Dogs as in Just how
How they work
I'm a guide dogs ambassador
I by all accounts
I should have done
Guide dogs
Surely you're also
A Fast and the Furious
Ambassador at this point
I am
Yeah I am
You're spreading the good word
I'm pumped
2023 cannot come
Fast enough now for me
I agree
Or furious enough
Not until next year
Yeah so what does that give me?
About a year-ish to watch them all.
I want you to watch them this week.
Okay.
I think that's fair.
That is reasonable, I think, yeah.
Nine movies.
I did watch the Harry Potters in about a week.
Yeah.
So I could do the Fast and Furious.
That's normal.
Are they long movies?
Yeah.
Okay.
Of course they're long movies, Jess.
Yeah, sorry, stupid question.
There are so much that I did not tell you about these movies.
It's good to have things to look forward to as well,
a few surprises there.
Yeah.
And look, you've got to go.
And if anybody's still listening,
tell them one more time about where they can find information
about your comedy festival show.
It's not this long, but you can find it at comedyfestival.com
or just look up Michelleelle brazier on instagram and
i'll be shouting about it or look up michelle brazier tickets and then whatever city you're
in and then press enter yeah and go from there thank you so so much for that wisdom thank you
that fury for your patience that pace we appreciate it loved it thanks so much for coming on love you
love you bye bye and now it is time for
everyone's favorite section of the show uh where we thank some of our fantastic supporters you can
support us if you want to do listener via patreon.com slash to go on pod or do go on pod.com
and there's all sorts of different things you can get bonus episodes uh you can vote on topics you
can um get inside of the nicest corner of the internet,
which is our Facebook group, all sorts of other things. One of them is giving us a fact,
a quote, or a question. And that happens in this section, which is called fact, quote,
or question, which I think has a jingle that goes something like this.
Fact, quote, or question.
He always remembers the ding.
And the way this works is you give us a fact, a quote or question.
You send it through.
When you're on the Sydney Schoenberg Deluxe level of one of those websites I mentioned before,
you give us a fact, quote or question.
I'll read it out.
I'm reading it out for the first time on the show.
You also get to give yourself a title.
First up, we've got Katie Clays, whose title is Mother of the Sass Queen.
What is that?
I don't know what that means.
Does that mean your mum?
Are you the Sass Queen?
Mum?
You're a Sass twin.
Yeah.
Maybe the Sass Queen is our mum.
Our mum.
I was going to say, because we would be a Sass Prince and a Sass Princess.
So maybe Katie is our grandma.
Oh my God, the queen mother.
And Katie's given us a fact, which is David Unaipon was a Nagayan Jerry man,
traditional Aboriginal Australian of the Lower Murray River.
Unaipon spent five years trying to create a perpetual motion machine.
In the course of his work, he developed a number of devices.
Didn't we talk about David in a recent episode?
Because he's on the $100 note.
The $50 note.
I've never seen a 100.
I have no idea what colour it is.
I don't know.
Katie continues,
devices are varied as an anti-gravitational device,
a multi-radial wheel and a sheep-shearing handpiece.
He was also known as the Australian Leonardo da Vinci,
da Vinci?
Da Vinci.
For his mechanical ideas, which included pre-world war one drawings for a
helicopter design based on a principle on the principle of the boomerang and his research
into the polarization of light and also spent much of his life attempting to achieve perpetual motion
and he's on our 50 note wow there you, man, I'm having wild deja vu here.
I hate that.
But you feel like we've cut...
I don't think I knew much about...
Okay, great.
I might have possibly just read that
because I'm like, I haven't read this out before.
Yeah, no, I don't think you have.
Okay, great.
That's awesome.
Thank you so much for that, Katie.
Yes.
So cool.
He just, yeah.
I mean, that's why he's on the $50 note.
We don't just let anyone on the $50 note.
No.
Who's on the back of the $50, Dave?
Edith Cowan.
Tell us a bit about her.
First female MP elected to Parliament.
There you go.
How do things stay in your brain?
It's amazing.
Well, because we have talked about her recently.
That doesn't matter.
Did we talk about the $50 note recently?
First Australian woman to serve as a Member of Parliament.
I think at the time, because last time I thought that she was the first Premier maybe,
and then we looked into it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But still, I don't...
Yeah, anyway. It's a compliment, Dave. I'm impressed. was the first premiere maybe and then we looked into it yeah yeah yeah but still i don't yeah
anyway uh it's a compliment dave i'm impressed uh the next one comes from ben johnson and ben
has given himself the title of toaster from towaster. Could be. T-O-W-C-S-T-E-R.
Anyway, Ben has got a quote.
Toaster from Toaster is fun, but Toaster from Tochester is also fun.
I'm torn.
It's all good.
Ben has a quote, which is,
I was in Glasgow last week and I ordered a latte with oat milk.
The barista looked at me funny and said,
I'm sorry, pal, but I cannae make a latte without milk.
Great quote.
Great quote.
That means a lot to me, I think.
And I think that'll mean a lot to a lot of the listeners out there.
Without milk.
Without milk.
I should have committed stronger to the Scottish accent.
No, I think you did just the right amount, actually.
Okay, fantastic.
The next one comes from Drew Forsberg.
And Drew's got a brag.
Drew Forsberg.
And Drew's got a brag.
And Drew first has given himself the title of Munya Jais Gresedent of Waiple Firup Patorij.
He just...
I think he just...
Just switched up a lot of first letters there.
I think it's Junior Vice President of Maple Syrup Storage.
Okay.
But he's written it,
Munya Jaisk Resident of Maple Syrup Storage.
That's good.
Drew, what are you like?
He's trying to catch you.
And Drew has a brag, which is,
I dressed myself today and it only took until tomorrow.
I feel like I'm losing my mind what's going on we've just done a three-hour episode and now people are
sending you confusing questions and quotes what does that mean what does it mean
i feel i just feel like I'm losing it.
What's happening?
Dave's Googling it.
It's got to be something.
Yeah, I'm sure I've heard that before.
But, like, the fact that it hasn't autofilled yet is concerning.
Nothing's coming up.
Nothing's coming up.
All right, well, the last...
He's just saying it took him a long time to dress himself.
But, jeez, it made my brain collapse in on itself.
And the final quote or question this week comes from Julian Barnes,
a.k.a. Little Listener with The Little Facts.
Ah, that's right.
He's done some Little Facts from the Orange Juice.
Oh, I love them.
But isn't it funny?
We're talking about Lil a lot today.
Yeah, that worked out beautifully.
The Lil Listener.
Julian has got, of course, a fact.
Writing, once again, it's time to grab a juice, brackets, orange, close brackets, from the
line and read a fact.
Today's is number 237.
Approximately one third of the population can't snap their fingers.
One third?
There's three of us.
Oh my God.
Let's go down the line, Jess.
Oh, I'm a great clicker.
Thanks very much.
Julian's asked, can everyone on the pod do it?
Keep up the good work, stoked for the Dugon live quizzes this year.
Thanks, mate.
You rule, Julian.
I'm a really good clicker, actually.
Oh, that's a nice click.
They're sharp, crisp.
It's not bad.
Well, let me just say.
Mine's a bit muddier.
Yes.
Other hand.
This is my good hand too.
The other hand's not very good.
That's me.
You're a left clicker.
My left click is quite good.
It is.
It snaps.
Mine, I've got this thumb issue that I've had for a little while.
Oh, that's convenient, isn't it?
When we're talking about snapping your fingers.
Well, it felt like it was getting better until just now
when I did that clicking and the pain has just come back.
Oh, my God.
Julian, what have you done?
You dog me.
Do you work for my physio?
I haven't had Matt come in for a while.
We must break him.
All right.
Well, that brings us to our other favorite part of the show
where we go through and thank a few of our other great supporters.
Bob, you normally come up with a little game based on the topic.
Earlier I was thinking of like what their go-to car was
or mode of transport maybe.
That's great.
Doesn't have to be a car, I suppose.
And it doesn't have to be able to punch a torpedo or an asteroid.
If it can, great.
Bonus.
All right.
Well, if I can kick us off.
Please.
I'd love to thank from Spring Branch in Texas in the United States,
Raphael Gatrell.
Great name.
What about?
Holy shit, that's a good name.
Right on mower.
Oh, yeah.
I love a function or double function.
You get to where you got to go, but you can mow the grass along the way.
Exactly.
And if you punch it, put a bit of NOS in there,
you probably travel at an average car speed.
I really think that would make mowing the lawn fun.
Yeah.
You know, being on a ride on mower.
I often think friends are the grass you've mown along the way.
No, I don't know what that was.
No, no, no.
That was something.
And that something was excellent.
It was Mr. Nothing.
That was almost, I mowed the grass today and it took until tomorrow.
Thank you very much, Raphael.
I'd also love to thank from Palanga in LT.
Is that Lithuania?
It is.
I looked that up before because I couldn't believe this.
Lithuania.
How cool is that?
And I'd love to thank Mint Paint Art.
Okay.
Mint Paint Art from Palanga.
Definitely one of our first, if not the first Lithuanian supporter.
Is Lithuania where the second Dream Team was from?
You better believe it.
Oh, that's so cool.
I'm thinking the Mr Bean car.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Painted to look like a basketball.
Yes. Yeah, I think that is Painted to look like a basketball. Yes.
Yeah, I think that is...
It's a go-to.
And then obviously its enemy is the dreaded three-wheel car.
Yeah.
Thank you very much.
Mint Paint Art.
So cool to have you listening from Lithuania.
I mean, and Raphael, that's not to say it's not cool to have you listening from Texas.
Don't get me wrong.
That still fucking blows my mind, to be honest.
And finally, from a place I reckon maybe most of our listeners might be from,
the deep within the Fortress of the Moles, address unknown.
It's Aisha 451.
Aisha 451.
Aisha.
Aisha 451. Aisha 451. Aisha. Aisha, I think, drives a...
I don't know if you guys remember or ever read Richard Scarry.
Do you think it's Richard Scarry, Books as a Kid?
Well, Aisha 451 drives the apple car that the worm drives.
Yes.
That's fun.
I love that apple car.
They were my favourite books as a kid.
There was one that went around the world.
Every page was a different country or something.
That's cool.
I loved it so much.
That's nice.
I love it when you let us in.
Tell us things.
And at that time, I was 28.
Started reading the book and it only took me until tomorrow.
started reading the book and it only took me
until tomorrow
Dave do you want to
thank some people
I would love to
this person's also
from an unknown location
I can only assume
deep within the fortress
next to Aisha 451
and it's just one word
Tvenk
Tvenk
Tvenk
T-V-E-N-K
Tvenk
or Tvenk
Tvenk
thank you so much
I think Tvenk
is rocking some
rocket powered roller skates.
Oh, yeah.
Flying.
Yeah.
Taking on Vin Diesel on two legs.
The fastest man on two legs.
That's cool.
Tvenk.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
And I would also like to thank from Glasgow in Greatest of Britons, Amy Moretti.
Amy.
Amy Moretti. What. Amy Moretti.
What's a Scottish kind of...
Scottish car.
The Iron Brew van.
Iron Brew van.
Iron Brew van.
Iron Brew delivery van.
Yes.
Sorry, that's so dumb.
Unlimited Iron Brew.
It runs on Iron Brew.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When you push the NOS button, you actually get iron brew pumping through the system.
That's right.
And into your hat, which is an iron brew hat.
So the car and you get equal amount of sips.
Would it be a bit more eco-friendly?
Oh, yeah.
Running a car on iron brew?
I don't know.
The vapors are much better for the environment.
It actually reduces CO2.
Somehow.
It's an amazing orange liquid.
Wow.
Thanks, Amy.
I'd also like to thank from a pop car in Florida.
It is Adam Nidacore.
Adam Nidacore.
A Florida man.
That's a good name.
Adam, love your name.
Driving a killed and skinned alligator.
Put wheels on it?
Into a car.
Stuffed it, put wheels on it.
Wow.
Now rides around like a skateboard.
How do you steer it?
You lean.
Like a normal skateboard.
Lean into it.
Lean into it.
Okay.
Lean into the corners.
Well, that's kind of fucked, Adam.
I don't know why you did that. He's a Florida man. Oh, yeah. kind of fucked, Adam. I don't know why you did that.
He's a Florida man.
Yeah, I forgot.
Florida man.
Well, that's incredible.
May I thank some people as well?
Please do.
I would love to thank from Minneapolis.
Now the Twin Cities.
Minnesota.
Zoe.
Big shout out to Zoe.
Jess, what's Zoe driving?
Shout out to Zoe.
Jess, what's Zoe driving?
Zoe is driving a milk delivery bike.
Oh, bike.
I think all of the characters we're creating here in the Fast and the Furious franchise are going to be dead real quick.
Definitely.
They're all rocking up with these street drags Going uh oh
I love it
We are
These people support us
And we are condemning them to death
The milk delivery bike
How many litres could you possibly carry at once on a bike
Fair few
You just gotta
It's all about physics
It's actually about physics.
It's actually a cow that they've stuffed and pulled wheels off.
Matt, you've got to stop killing animals and stuffing them.
Chucking wheels on.
That's the most efficient way to make automobiles.
No factory lawn required.
Just a carcass and some wheels.
Carcass.
Carcass.
That's where they get the name car from.
From carcass.
Let's go back to how they used to do it.
Thank you, Zoe.
I'd also like to thank, from an unknown location,
but I think their name might give it away a little bit,
I would love to thank Sean of South Horn.
I like that, Sean of South Horn. What about a sheep?
Can you give him a car that would actually go fast?
Oh, okay.
Okay, I was thinking...
Start with sheep.
Dave, you're going to make it go fast now.
It is a caravan pulled by a sheep.
Yes.
But like the fastest sheep on land.
Oh, my God.
It's like massive, this sheep.
I'm going to Google sheep top speed.
When you fit it Nass.
No, up to 25 miles per hour.
That's pretty fast.
That's very fast.
That's really quick.
Yeah, what's that in Ks?
I know 100 miles is...
Speed animals.
100 miles is 160 Ks, so it would be 40km an hour, right?
That's fast.
That's fast.
That's faster than Usain Bolt, baby.
Top speed, it can just cruise through school zones.
Is that like down a hill?
Then I'm on life science or live science, we never know.
Some ram each other at speeds up to 20 miles or 32km per hour,
according to National Geographic.
Wow, there you go.
That's fast.
That's not your run-of-the-mill bloody farm sheep, is it? No, you go that's fast so that's not your
run-of-the-mill bloody farm sheep no i think that's like a that's like a purebred that's a
mega sheep that's a that's yeah and if you get 50 then pulled together your caravan will be flying
down the track yeah vin diesel will be like oh no put the knots in not too late sorry mate sean of
the south horn you just got goaded. Thank you, Sean.
And finally, I would love to thank From Austria.
Wow, this is cool.
Yeah, I don't know if we've had many people from Austria supporting us.
Great.
But whereabouts in Austria, Jess? What's the city?
St. Witt and Goulson.
You've done very well there.
Probably not, but thank you.
I think there's an umlaut over the O there.
You're really going to hit that O.
Goulson?
Does it elongate?
I don't know.
And the state, Jess?
That is Lower Austria.
Wow, amazing.
You pronounce that well.
I would love to thank Daniel Graham.
Daniel Graham.
Wow.
I've only spent a few days in Austria, but I loved it.
Probably at an Irish pub.
Beautiful.
What sort of NFL game did you watch from there?
No, at the hostel we stayed in,
they played The Sound of Music every day at the same time
because it was filmed in that city.
Yeah, of course.
I think I went out for pasta for dinner,
which, you know, is in the vague area of Italy.
I got a little bit of local culture and cuisine.
Oh, my God.
That made me laugh so hard I got dizzy.
You went out for pasta.
Yeah, I got to a chest-toe building because I wasn't in an Irish pub.
Thank you very much.
I went out for a good bowl of spaghetti.
I'd do it differently if I went back.
I'm all mature now.
I don't know that you would.
So thank you so much to those people who have supported us.
Daniel, Sean, Zoe, Adam, Amy, Tvenk, Asha451, MintPaintArt, and Raphael.
We appreciate you.
And the last thing we need to do is welcome a few people into the trip.
You can get anything you need with Uber Eats.
Well, almost, almost anything.
So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats.
But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that.
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If you're new to the show, you might not know, but supporters who have been with us for three straight years on the shout out level or above get brought into the triptych club it's a lifelong pass once you're in
you're in for life even if you want to leave and sorry um not sorry and it's a great time i'm
standing on the door i got the guest list i'll read out the name uh you're welcome into the club
this is theater of the mind everyone else is already in is standing around clapping slow clap
welcoming you in.
Dave's on stage with the mic.
He's emceeing the night.
And he's going to welcome you in, really hype you up with some sort of very, very weak wordplay.
And then Jess will... What the fuck?
Jess will then back him up.
What a way to hype him up right before he starts.
Jesus Christ.
Dave needs the hype up.
And I can't do it in good faith.
So Jess does it.
Jess is also behind the bar.
I'm a better actor than Matt.
Yeah, much better.
Classically trained.
I'm self-taught.
Jess has tread the boards and you've just tread the board.
Your board.
Anyway, that was nearly something.
That's how good I am.
Puns. And Jess is behind the bar
Normally you come up with a cocktail
What's the cocktail?
What's the Fast and Furious cocktail Jess?
It's called a Vin Diesel
There's a special ingredient
I honestly wouldn't recommend this cocktail
What's the special ingredient?
Heroin
Oh wow
From that van.
You had to do something with all that heroin.
We've got $60 million worth.
And for food, I will be putting on a barbecue.
Elena will be helping me, even though she's not welcome and not paid.
What's she doing there?
Corona's all around.
Corona's all around.
And Dave, you normally book a band.
You're never going to believe it.
What have you got?
Ludacris is here.
No.
Ludacris. Performing never going to believe it. What have you got? Ludicrous is here. No. Ludicrous.
Performing the songs of Ja Rule.
Living it up.
Yeah, and others.
And others, exactly.
All of Ja's classics.
Awesome.
All right.
Well, we've got five inductees in today, Dave.
You ready to go?
Ready to hype them up?
All right.
I'd love to welcome into the club from
fawny in texas in the united states it's kj fair brother put her there brother
40 for 40 mine was better i was gonna say fair brother my brother but yours is better
i love how jess is here to big dave up and first one, mine was better. No, no, no. I'm here for Dave.
Actually, you do them and I'll hype you up.
No, I don't want to.
No, you've taken it from me.
No, Jess, you've got to do it now.
You've taken the crown.
I really don't want to.
From Marietta in California in the United States, it's Christian Eazle.
Marietta, I barely even know her.
That's amazing.
Hype ya. All right. I couldn't have done it's amazing. Hype ya.
All right.
I couldn't have done it better myself.
Hype ya.
It's easy with easel.
He paints a beautiful picture on his Christian easel.
Yeah.
I remind myself every few weeks that I'm...
You shut up.
There's a reason I'm lobbing him up.
It's because you have a sense of shame.
That's your problem.
And from Hull in Great Britain, it's Joe Haslam.
Yeah, let's Joe.
It's time to party.
Let's Joe.
It's incredible.
It sounds like go.
It's a soft G.
And from Melbourne in Victoria, Australia, it's Siraj Piras.
I'm Melbourne again with my love for you, Siraj.
Oh, Siraj, you legend.
Yes, nailing it.
And finally, from London in Great Britain, it's James Edwards.
More like James, have a good time.
All right.
I think we'll go back to Dave next week for sure.
I agree.
What would you have done for James Edwards?
Put this knight to bedwards.
Fuck.
Yeah.
That's why he's good.
That's why we pay him.
Living at large with Saraj.
Shit.
Yeah, okay.
We're not going Edwards anymore.
We're going forwards with you, James.
Shut up.
No, you shut up.
Oh, I wish Matt was deadwards.
This has gone for so long.
All right, well, that's the end.
Thank you so much and welcome into the club,
Siraj, James, Joe, Christian and KJ.
Jess, anything we need to tell people before we finish up?
We wish Matt was Deadwoods.
I don't mean that.
I love the guy. Oh, God, that's funny. But it was a fun one. I think it was fair.s. I don't mean that. I love the guy.
Oh, God.
That's funny.
But it was a fun rhyme.
I think it was fair.
Look, I felt like that.
Things to tell you.
You can check out our website, dogoonpod.com.
If you want to get in touch, dogoonpod at gmail.com
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And you don't have to be a Patreon supporter
or support us financially in any way to suggest a topic.
Anybody can do that. And you can do that on the website or there's a link any way to suggest a topic, anybody can do that.
And you can do that on the website or there's a link in the show notes.
Hell yeah.
Also, thanks for sticking with us with what is now officially
our longest ever episode.
We really appreciate it.
And we'll be back next week with another episode, brand new topic.
But until then, I'll say thank you so much and goodbye.
Later.
Bye.