Do Go On - 333 - Hedy Lamarr ; Hollywood icon & inventor

Episode Date: March 9, 2022

Cass Paige joins Do Go On this week, as we hear the story of Hollywood icon and noted 'bombshell', Hedy Lamarr. But her stunning looks get in the way of her true passion - inventing.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPodBuy tickets to our four live podcasts in Melbourne, Sundays in April at 8:45pm at the European Bier Cafe:https://www.trybooking.com/BXSIV  Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicSee us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/the-quiz-show See Matt and Alasdair at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/honk-honk-hubba-hubba-ring-a-ding-ding Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://hedylamarr.com/https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smithsonian-institution/thank-world-war-ii-era-film-star-your-wi-fi-180971584/https://www.afr.com/companies/the-brighter-side-of-hedy-lamarr-19900518-kaml8https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedy_LamarrBombshell : The Hedy Lamarr Story Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattstuartcomedy.com.

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write the future. Welcome to Do Go On, the podcast where we do go on. I'm your host, Matt Stewart, and with me, as always, is Jess Perkins. Hello, Matt. Hey, Jess, so good always, is Jess Perkins. Hello, Matt. Hey, Jess, so good to be with you here today. You nailed that. Thank you so much. It's been a little while since we've recorded. It has, and I don't normally do that bit.

Dave does, but he's not here. He's away, and he won't tell us where, but that's okay. He says he'll be back next week, and we look forward to seeing him. But in his stead, we have the very fantastical maybe maybe am i going too far to say the best in the biz that's not too far at all from sans pants radio it's cas page oh it is very good to be with you here today as well thanks so much for being in dave's stead if i'm using that term correctly it's it feels like pie i'll tell you that much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you filled in for Jess a few times last month, so you're becoming the fifth Beatle here.

Oh, yes. Maybe even the sixth Beatle. I think Nick Mason claims fifth Beatle status. Yeah, I think he's the fourth Beatle. He's not going to give that out. Ah, that's Ringo. Sucked in. Before we get stuck into the episode,

we should tell people that we're doing some live podcasts at the, or not at the, but next to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in March and April at the European Beer Cafe Sunday nights. And you should come along. You should. You absolutely should. Probably good if you do, actually.

Yeah, I think that would be fantastic. I insist that you do. So, how about that? You get rid of your Sunday scaries. That's a phenomenon I've learned about recently. Do you guys get the Sunday scaries? I did as a kid. School gave me the...

I hated... I don't know what it is, but I did hate Sundays as a kid. Because of school, I think. Yeah, I... Look, I've only ever seen it written down as Sunday Scary, so I think you're right. I remember everything about Sunday nights was so depressing. So I hated, for a long time, I hated Poirot-type shows

because that would be on those Sunday night ABC shows. Oh, yeah. And now I kind of like them, they're comforting, but back then I'm like like these are so fucking depressing uh but yeah is that sorry is that what you yeah yeah yeah so if you if you get the sunday scary is a thing i just learned about this is how to get rid of them it's actually a cure yeah you won't get the sun you'll get the sundays comfortables yeah oh yeah if you come to the live show yeah absolutely maybe you should come and do one of our live shows, Cass. Oh, I'll do it.

I'll talk to you about that off air. Put her on the spot. I've been quiet this whole time because I've been trying to find the link so I could tell you the dates because I did not know. It's all through April, Sunday the 3rd of April through till Sunday the 24th at what time is it? I think it's 8.45. 9.45.

9.45. 9.45. No, it ends at 9.45. 9.45. 9.45. 9.45. No, it ends at 9.45. 8.45. 8.45 to 9.45. Yes, you're absolutely right. I just read the last number. This is why we let Dave do a lot of this housekeeping stuff.

I reckon that's why people are there looking up the tickets. I'm keen to go 9.45. 9.45 is far too late on a Sunday. It is. I don't get the Sunday scaries, just to come back to that, because Sundays are my Friday. Monday, Tuesdays are my weekend. So, Sunday's for me, a beautiful day.

Love them. Big fan. Love a Sunday. That's gorgeous. I love a Sunday as well. Always been a fan. Really? Yeah, that's great.

I think the thing that is scary for some people, I think the vibe is nice. Yes. I think sometimes I've recently had to do a thing where I make rest a thing i have to do yes so then after i've rested i feel very productive and it's tricked me into being able to take the appropriate amount of rest and then on sunday i'm like oh god oh got a lot of rest in that day yeah oh i nailed it yeah look how productive i was i got so much rest yeah i didn't move from my bed

for four straight hours god just looking at tiktoks look at the recuperation brain off body healing that's important i think that's actually a smart way to do it it's just sort of fat he's like scheduling rest time it feels better than usual because you're like time to rest today is a rest day and then every time you like i don't know take a small pleasure in a slow cup of tea like oh fuck i'm doing it yeah let. Look at me go. Oh, God. I am listening so hard right now. Unstartable. Removing the guilt of rest.

Yeah, gamify rest. That's good. I just mentioned TikTok. I'm on TikTok now. I mentioned a comedy. Hey! Trying to do one a day. It's hard.

One a day? That's so many. Yeah. Is it too many, Cass? You can tell him if it's too many. If you have a look, you'll see the quality ebbs and flows. Mainly ebbs. I'm going to check it out.

I don't think it's too many from a consumer standpoint, but from having to do... Another minute of Matt? I can't handle this. No, I think it's good. Probably every day like, oh, yes, it's Matt time. Yeah. But if I were you, I would be like, oh, God, another?

Yeah. Yeah, it will become a burden and I'll stop doing it soon. But while we're plugging Comedy Festival, Alistair Tromboy, Birchley and I are doing a show called Honk Honk Hubba Hubba Ring-a-Ding-Ding and it's on the second half of the festival and you can get tickets. There'll be links to all this stuff in the show notes

come to come to both our podcast and my show and you can also come we're doing a quiz show as well which yeah you can come to on sunday night so monday night monday nights you can triple yourself come to all three yeah yeah do the trip yeah i think also i think 9 45 finish time is really nice because sometimes what i like to do is if something's on a bit late at night is I'll brush my teeth before I leave and I'll wear the pajama-iest clothes I can. So then like as soon as you leave, you go home and you like just enter bed straight away. Oh my God, that is so smart. Oh my God. Brush your teeth before you leave the house.

And it just makes, you know, when you get to the end of the night're like oh okay i gotta drive home whatever it gets rid of all of the feeling of i have to go to bed because you are ready yeah that's true if you can nighttime routine the only problem is under clothes beer tastes weird after brushing your teeth but apart from that i think that's fantastic yeah see in this scenario i just drink water or like a peppermint tea and just it and then it's like my little secret for the night i'm like my pajamas are under my clothes i'm like oh no one no one even knows these suckers so cheeky they don't even know how close to bed i am i'm in a room of fools they have no idea my night cream is on that is so good i've learned so much from you already today we're five minutes in and i'm like oh there's so many good ideas hey Jess, Cass hasn't done the show for a few weeks now.

Do you reckon you could explain the concept to her and any new listeners? Absolutely. I mean, we also haven't technically recorded for a while, so it would be a nice refresher for us too. What we do is one of the three of us goes away, researches a topic, comes back, tells the other two all about it, who politely interrupt, go on tangents, and just generally fuck around a bit.

Always respectfully. It's a respectful fuck around. Yeah. Beautiful. That's the do-go-on motto. Ooh, that would be a fun neon sign. Respectable fuck around. And we always start with a question.

Respectable reach around. Oh, boy. That's different. That's different. It's close, but different. Isn't the language of English fun? Isn't it beautiful? Like the difference between a boob job and a tit job.

Yeah. So similar on paper. On paper, but very different. Really different. And it's important to specify which one you are requesting. I feel so bad for anyone whose English is second or third. One tip job, please. That felt good.

So we always start with a question, and my question is convoluted, to be honest. Which Hollywood star made her name in a film named after an illicit drug? I feel like you're not going to know who this person is. Let's go through some drugs. Molly Ringwald. No.

No, the film's named after her. That's right. Okay. Imagine she was named after a drug. Ecstasy. Is there a movie called Ecstasy? Yes. And we haven't heard of this actor, so it's going to be hard to guess.

I don't think so But she's like a She's a Hollywood classic Like she's one of the stars of like The 30s and 40s Betty Davis Eyes Rita Haywood No

You're thinking like the right kind of thing Gene Kelly First name Hedy Hedy Lamarr Hedy Lamarr That's right. That's sick. That's fun.

She's had a really interesting life and she's been suggested by so many people. Like 20 people or something in the hat have suggested the life of Hedy Lamarr. So those people have suggested it. Anna Cox, Emily Denzel, Katrina, Sophie, Brandy, Lauren, Jess, Ruby, Grace, Maddie, Ari Katz, Emily Good. All those people have suggested the life of Hedy Lamarr. Emily Good, Emily Good. She's Emily Good. Emily Good, Emily Good. She's Emily Good.

Do you know much? I mean, you knew the name. Do you know much about Hedy Lamarr I mean you were alive at the time Yeah yeah I spent some time with Hedy The phrase Hedy days That was after her

Oh they were Hedy days They were just like Yeah some people for a little while said Lamarr-y days But Hedy took off more Yeah no I know that she was a badass. She was like a multi-threat. Yeah, absolutely.

It's not just an acting story. She did some pretty interesting other things, which I can hardly remember. Yeah. Cass, is it a name that rings a bell for you at all? Yeah, it's just a little tinkle in the back of my mind. The name is very familiar, and I think it's a very cool name it's such a good name well her her like birth name is hedwig eva maria kaisler yeah hedwig hedwig first hedwig i ever heard of harry potter's owl

this is only the second giant no no that's Harry Potter's giant? No No That's Hagrid Oh Hedwig is the L I mean you've got all the names in the world J.K. Potter J.K. Rowling Rowling

Why are you picking Hedwig and Hagwig? Hagrid Oh Okay Well that's pretty good Hagrid Hagrid That's different enough I guess

Hermione Yep A lot of people I knew growing up Had never read the name Hermione before, so everyone called her Hermione. 100% me as well. I was a Hermione child. I did not know the name Hermione.

No, and I wasn't going to learn. No, God, no. I've never heard of another Hermione. It sounds like she opened the big book of names and landed on page H. Yeah. And she said, that'll do. That'll do. I'll have a look around here.

Harry. Oh, my God, there's another one. There's so many. Who does he play? Han Heasley. Han Heasley. Professor Humble. Heiko Malhoy.

Hobby. I love Hobby. Hobby the house elf. That's right. So, yeah, Hedwig Eva Maria Keisler. She was born in Vienna in 1914, the only child of G Hedwig Eva Maria Keisler. She was born in Vienna in 1914, the only child of Gertrude and Emil Keisler. As a child, she was interested in two different hobbies,

not the elf, both of which were a little unusual for the time. She was fascinated by gadgets, and at the age of five she pulled apart a music box and put it back together just to see how it worked. And she was also interested in acting and was fascinated by theater and film throughout her life she would pursue both these interests but the praise and attention would always be focused on just one so her parents were fairly wealthy they lived in a in like what was described as like the really cultured and arty kind of area

of vienna it's like a very cool um cool kind of neighborhood they took their daughter to the opera the theater to art galleries at school she excelled in science particularly chemistry and film historian janine basinger said in a different era she may very well have become a scientist at the very least it was an option that was derailed by her beauty. Yeah. Too distracting for the other scientists. Been there, right? Too sexy for the lab. Yeah. We've all been there, right?

Yeah, I know. The rats just won't, you know, how do you do A-B testing when the rats are looking at you all the time? Just staring at you like panting. Yeah. Is it a rat pant? Yeah. It's weird.

I mean, I have. That's why I don't do science. I know. Your science days, people were like, can you take that lab coat off? You cover it up a little too much. I know. It's not fair because you just wanted to do science. Yeah, I just wanted a science.

I know. I'm sorry, buddy. I missed the year. What year are we talking here? She was born in 1914. 1914. Good on her. Yeah.

Good on her, I reckon. Yeah. Well done. I love that it's been worded that her interests were acting, you know, a hobby and career, and gadgets. Yeah, I know. Would it be, is that, I don't know, is that engineering or something? Yeah, I guess so, yeah.

She was, like, very interested in, like, how things worked. Her father was, like, in a nice twist on a Hollywood classic story. Her dad's actually a lovely man. Parents are really lovely. She has a great relationship with their parents. She's treated well. You know, you don't hear that a lot with the Hollywood icons. It's usually, oh, dad, terrible person.

But her dad was lovely and he, like, they'd go for walks together and he would sort of be pointing out things around and, like, how and explaining how those things work. There's a tree that grows from the ground it's crazy it's got like roots she's got the notepad out uh-huh uh-huh it looks the same up top as it does down below but smaller pretty crazy anyway that's a traffic light don't know how that works so yeah so she was sort of interested in like the science how things worked engineering i suppose um and also the theater so yeah this is something that was basically that happened for her whole life her beauty gets in the way of potential of her potential in other areas and it means

that her achievements are brushed over and the focus is always on her looks oh my god kindred spirit i know i knew this is why i it. I knew you would like relate to this. Just why can't people focus on my achievements? Yeah. And you have so many. Yes. And yes, you're gorgeous. Yeah, which is fine, but not my value.

Exactly right. Can I say that? Absolutely. Of course. And yeah, for any beautiful people listening. Which is all of you. All of you. It's fine to be beautiful.

It's so okay. Don't feel bad about being drop dead gorgeous. The world's changing. There's a space for you. It's fine to be beautiful. It's so okay. Don't feel bad about being drop-dead gorgeous. The world's changing. There's a space for you. There's a space for us. Make space for us beauties. Yeah, we say that from within that space. We say, hey, come into the space of the beautiful people.

Yeah, well, we're allowed to talk about it. Exactly right, yeah. And so we want to include others and say, hey, it's okay to be beautiful and you don't have to be ashamed of that. It's not your value still, but it definitely adds to your value oh yeah oh yeah we're better than other people yeah yeah we're better than the algos but i'm just sick of it's all people want to hear i've got other interests okay so hard because it's like these are my interests these are what i put effort into every day and i can't help being stunning yeah like there's

nothing i can do about that i wake up and i I'm like, oh, fuck, stunning again. I try not to do my hair and it falls perfectly. Yeah. I can't put more effort than I do into my hobbies. I know. Into being approachable. Exactly. Like what, you have to dull your shine for other people?

I've tried. I know. I've rubbed myself in dog shit and people just go, oh, that's a beautiful scent. Where can I get it? It looks great on you. Thank you. You wear it well.

Damn it. I could never. That's what they say. That's what they say. They all say that. So at the age of 12, she won a beauty contest in Vienna. And by her mid-teens. Just by walking past.

Yeah, they just saw her and was like, you win. By her mid-teens, she was taking acting classes. And one day she forged a note from her mother and went to Sasha Film. It was the largest film production company. And she was able to get herself hired as a script girl, which today would be called a script supervisor. But back then, script girl. They realised it required skills, so girls couldn't do it anymore.

Oh, we've we gotta call this a supervisor because some boys were like i wouldn't i actually wouldn't mind being a script girl um within no time she was being used as as an extra in films like 1930s money on the street i love i i she's been in so many films and i won't read every single film title but i love old and day film titles and i know that film titles of today will sound ridiculous in the future but back then they were fun they had some good titles you know snakes on a plane yeah it sounds normal now no time to die is gonna sound kind of funny it already does sound a bit funny all the bond ones are confusing they have to think

about them so many times to understand what the fuck they're talking about. What do you mean by that? Casino Royale? What does that mean? Cut the code, please. She had a small speaking part in 1931's Storm in a Waterglass. Oh, I love that. That's a good one. I like that very much.

Next, she took to the stage after producer Max Reinhart then cast her in a play entitled The Weaker Sex. Bit of fun. I wonder who that was about. Guys have copped it for so long, so that was a movie about men. Yeah. Well, I mean, look. Look at those tiny little arms you got.

Bad example. Look. Look at those tiny little arms you got. Bad example. Weaker brain? What should I say is weaker? In men? Yeah.

Hips couldn't bear another body. Oh my God, yeah. I'm so glad you thought of something. I was battling. Nothing like nothing. So strong. I'm trying to be funny and fun, but I honestly can't think of anything men are worse at than women.

I'd love to as a feminist. I know you would, I know. The thing that I want to do more than anything is lift you up, but... And it's so easy to do. I couldn't lift us up. Oh, no. With these tiny little arms.

No. I'm so little. Reinhardt was so impressed with her that he brought her with him back to Berlin with promises of training and roles in his productions. Sounds normal. Was she 12? Yeah, she's like, by this time, she's maybe 16. Okay, normal.

Normal. Normal stuff. Normal stuff. Back then, 16 was like 102. It's the 30s, you know. They didn't live long. You've got to just get into life. You know what I mean?

You've just got to get on a plane with a man. Get on a plane with a man. Go to a different country. He's going to train you. He's going to put you in his place. Yeah, and you should always believe a stranger. What more would you want? But that didn't even really happen.

Instead, she did go with him to Berlin, but she met a Russian theatre producer named Alexis Granovsky who cast her in his film directorial debut, The Trunks of Mr. O.F. Yeah. Oh. The Trunks of Mr. O.F. came out in 1931. Trunks as in bathers? Hard to say.

Didn't look up the synopsis of that one. Hmm. Or is Mr. O.F. an elephant? Or a tree. A double-headed elephant? Oh, yeah, it could. O.F. an elephant? Or a tree. Double-headed elephant. Or it could be a tree. I reckon it's probably a tree. Yeah.

Double-headed tree. Or if it's underwear and he's Mr. OnlyFans and he was the one who invented it. Oh, that actually makes more sense. Mr. OnlyFans. That actually makes way more sense. Yeah, that's got to be it.

It's got to be underwear, Mr. OnlyFans. It's this. It's invention of OnlyFans. Movie titles are so long back then but they're abbreviating the name to OF. The Trunks of Mr. Oliver Finch. You know, like, whatever.

The Fantabulous Trunks. The next year she was given the lead role in a comedy called No Money Needed. It's a bit of fun. But the role that really put her on the map was in 1933 when 18-year-old Hedy was given the lead role in the erotic romantic drama film Ecstasy. The film is about a young woman who marries a wealthy

but much older man. After abandoning her brief passionless marriage, she meets a young engineer who becomes her lover. It's one of the first non-pornographic movies to portray portray sexual intercourse and female orgasm although never showing more than the actor's faces but that was enough back then to ruffle some feathers big yeah they showed faces oh my god i'm getting a little hot under the collar just thinking about faces it was essentially shots of like and and

she and i think i talk about it later anyway but she's it later anyway, but it's scenes that she's shot by herself. Like it's not an actual sex scene, but it's kind of implied and back then that was enough for it to be too scandalous. Is Mr. O.F. like the O face? I guess so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Oh, fuck.

It's probably that, I think. Mr. Oh, fuck yeah. Tell Australians to have sex. Okay, don, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. It's probably that, I think. Mr. Oh, fuck you. That's how Australians have sex. Okay, don't mock our culture. Oh, yeah, fuck you. Yeah, that's it. Oh, Matt, please, we're at work. That's what is rooting here.

So if you're an international listener, if you hear someone talking about rooting, that's our cultural practice. Yeah, and it's a beautiful thing. Oh, yeah. You're so good at rooting. Oh, yeah. Root me so good.

Yeah, root me right there. That's it. That's the stuff I root me in. I'll spoof. Nobody. okay. I don't think I've ever heard anybody use spoof as in the act of coming. The verb spoof. Yeah, you know, it's always just been the... Keep rooting me.

I'm so close to doing a spoof. That's more what you would say. Yeah, that's more what I'm used to. That's more what you would say. Yeah, that's more what I'm used to. Anyway, yeah, apparently I read a bit of the synopsis of the film of Ecstasy. She marries this older guy and then they don't consummate the marriage and he doesn't have sex with her and she's like, well, fuck you then. And so she leaves.

So the film was controversial in some countries because of the scenes in which Lamar is running and swimming naked and the orgasm scene, which again is not an orgasm scene by today's standards. It's a woman's face. But that was enough. Anyway, I should say as well, at this time she's being credited as I think just Hedy Keisler.

Lamar comes later. Ooh. After a Vatican journalist attended screening at Venice Film Festival, Pope Pius... Fuck, I should have looked it up. What's XI? XI. Oh, thank you.

Pope Pius XI denounced the film in the Vatican newspaper, and as a result, none of the Italian distributors bought the rights for distribution. In Germany, the film was banned and only released in 1935 with edited scenes. So it was like, it was big. The film and the controversy surrounding it made Hedy an international household name almost overnight.

And not necessarily in a good way. It was more infamous, I think. But she was definitely then known. Bad influence on the children, that sort of stuff. Yeah, I don't know. Like, yeah. Yeah, don't talk about how we make children, but you can't have any of that.

Yeah. Frustratingly, Hedy said that the sex scenes in the film were scenes she filmed alone, like I was saying before, and it was cut to portray an implied sex scene. But then, and same with some of like the nude scenes where she's sort of like she's swimming in a river or lake or something and then she's running through, you know, the wilderness kind of. She's running and she's naked.

She says she was told that they were using like a long lens and it would be like you wouldn't see anything and that she sort of felt quite pressured into it i believe that she felt quite pressured into it but a lot of other people who had turned down the role said there's no way she would have taken the role and accepted it not knowing that like it was very clear from the beginning that there would be nudity and so they're sort of like you knew but at the same time she was young and felt pretty pressured into it, which isn't good. Yeah, right, so they're only showing the face in sex scenes

but there's full nudity elsewhere. Yeah, I think so. I don't know if it's like full frontal. I think you see a bit of butt. Oh, my God. Don't tell me they're showing ankle. Yeah, it's pretty scandalous. I mean, I can see if you read somewhere That there's going to be nudity in the film

And then if she was seriously considering the role Asking about it they're like oh from far away Yeah yeah yeah So it's a bit of a It's still not okay if she feels like She was pressured into You know If she thought she was going into one thing and then it turned out not to be that

For sure yeah absolutely So she returned to Vienna The cameraman's like standing right on her. I thought this was... No, no, no. It's a very wide lens. It's a wide lens. This looks like...

This is how it works. This looks like I'm over there. Honestly, this lens is actually getting stuff happening back here. It's crazy. Honestly. I'm actually in this shot. Yeah.

And I'm behind the camera. These cameras are so good. It's the 30s, babe. Things are actually pretty good. Come on, babe. You love gadgets. It's almost the 30s again. Ooh.

Bring back nudity on the screen. Do you think? Yeah, I think it's time. Yeah. Not just yet. We'll wait till 33. Yeah, we've got years. 11 years.

And then nudity. Yep. Every movie, everyone naked. So she returns to Vienna, her reputation not so desirable at this point, and much to the anger of her father for the role she'd played as well. He was pretty disappointed in her. Her first thought was not humiliation or sadness, but determination. She said to herself, well, I'll show them, which I think is kind of cool.

She already did. Dad's like, look, no, you've already shown me enough. Well, I'll show them. No, I'd rather you didn't. I'd rather you didn't show them. That's how we got into this mess. So she just got back to work. She won praise and accolades from critics for her performance in a play about Empress Elizabeth of Austria.

I've read that the play was called Sissy, but Hedy herself referred to the play as being called Elizabeth of Austria. But regardless, it was a play that was very well received. She had standing ovations and stuff. Critics loved her. It was a big success for the play and for Hedy herself. Admirers sent roses to her dressing room and audiences gave standing ovations at the end of the play. One particularly persistent admirer was a man named Frederick or Fritz Mandl.

He was an Austrian military arms merchant and munitions manufacturer who was reputedly the third richest man in Austria. He was 14 years her senior and did not win the approval of Hedy's parents because of his ties to Italian fascist leader Benito Mussolini and later German Fuhrer Adolf Hitler. Sounds like a real catch, this guy. But Hedy was headstrong and she was like, whatever, mum and dad, I'm going to marry him,

which is exactly what she did in 1933. The couple lived in a castle in Vienna. Oh. Okay. I see what she sees here. She's not seeing any sort of like arch-villain sort of vibes, living in a castle. He's mates with Mussolini and Hitler. I guess they probably weren't seen as Mussolini and Hitler as we see them now yet in the early 30s.

But still, they probably were shown some tendencies off the bat. I'm going to say not great guys. Red flags, at least. Big time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, they lived in their castle in Vienna and Hedy served as an arm piece for her husband, essentially. She was a trophy wife. He was an arms dealer.

Yeah, and she as an arm piece for her husband essentially she was a trophy wife he was an arms dealer yeah and she was an arm piece um yeah so they would like host banquets and lavish parties for um the italian and german dictators some people said like no hitler was never there but um mostly he definitely was this uh this is like very quickly changed the vibe how I've seen her so far. It's going to change a few more times. I love a few flips and flops. It's kind of crazy. It says a lot about Mandel's character that both his father and Hedy's parents were from Jewish families, yet he continued to rub shoulders and sell weapons to the Nazis.

Hedy had to accompany her husband to business meetings, events, parties and was essentially just there to be beautiful. Not surprisingly, she was bored out of her mind. She was a very intelligent woman, but like she was, everybody who met her and describes her is like, she would walk into a room and everybody would stare at her. Like she was stunning. Yeah, right.

Were you looking at a photo of her now is can you see that or because times change i know times change and like different fashions and stuff change there's a few oh she is she's gorgeous she's stunning and like the little clips i've seen um of her acting and stuff she's she's quite captivating i get it i remember watching breakfast at tiffany's and being like oh i get the audrey hepburn thing, she's quite captivating. I get it. I remember watching Breakfast at Tiffany's and being like, oh, I get the Audrey Hepburn thing. Like she's captivating. So she's really, really beautiful. But it's very funny because especially early on,

like the fashion at the time was super thin eyebrows that didn't quite sit where eyebrows should. And they also went like too long down the side of the face. And that's all I could focus on in those early shots. I was like, what's going on there so i i couldn't tell for a while but once they sorted out the eyebrows thing i'm like yeah you're beautiful so her marriage to fritz was a fairly toxic one she found him to be controlling um and prevented her from pursuing her acting career and she's only 18 at the time like she's

her acting career's only just started wait wait the guy who's friends with hitler and mussolini was controlling i know that's so weird how could she have known there's no way i know and back then you didn't date for as long you didn't live together first you know the you don't get as He was extremely unhappy about the simulated sex scene in Ecstasy and reportedly spent $280,000 which is about $4.5 million now in an unsuccessful

attempt to suppress the film by purchasing every existing print. He tried to buy every copy of the film so that nobody would see it. Oh, my God. $4.5 million. That's pretty weird. Yeah, it's super weird.

I love you for your acting and everything you do and your talent. But I don't want anyone else to see it. Yeah, that's actually for me only. Also, have a lot of money from the royalties, I guess. Yeah. Yeah very very strange four and a half million dollars to suppress her work it didn't work either like where did he keep him yeah that's a good that's a physical copy back in the day he's got a castle surely he's got a few rooms he's got a few spare rooms he could's got the porno room. Yeah, he's got a few spare rooms. He could just stack them up. So were they together when that film was made? No, no, no, no.

So it all happened very quickly. They got married and then he's like, oh, wait. Hang on a second. No, that's mine. No one else is allowed to look. I'm inventing NFTs. That's my ankle. Yeah, he essentially like, she was on his radar when she was in the play

and was getting a lot of praise and attention which wasn't long after the film but yeah it all happens very very quickly you know there was no it was short courtships back then. The 13 year age difference is a lot bigger when I didn't realise she was 18 still. Yeah and he's in his 30s. It's basically double

her age. It's weird. I mean maths it's not quite right maths wise but it's basically double. Basically double. Basically double. Basically triple, actually, if you think about it. He was immensely jealous and possessive of his wife. I'm starting to turn on this guy. Do you reckon?

Yeah. Well, hang on. He might just win you over. Nah, he definitely won't. He's a piece of shit. Eventually, he barely even allowed her to be in the room with other men because she was so beautiful and she would be looked at. Yeah.

So it's like you marry her to be beautiful next to you so other people are looking at you and going, wow, he's got a beautiful wife. And then you're like, hang on a second, she's too beautiful. Tone down some of that beauty. Everyone's looking at you. That was the point. That was the point that was the point

might be some underlying issues with fritz yeah that reminds me of have you seen people online talk about how the phenomenon i don't know if it's super common but like a guy will like be really attracted to a girl who like is going through a ho face and like dressing real provocatively and having the best time of her life and then they get together and it's like you can't dress like that anymore. She's like, but I thought you liked me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean I can't dress like that?

That was me. And that's what you liked. And now I'm not allowed to. I did see a great tweet. It was like, yeah, I don't mind if my girl dressed like a hoe. That's why I like her. She's a hoe. I knew that when I met her. I love her.

Yeah. Very supportive and beautiful, but yeah. Those are the same kind of guys that then go like, well, you can't dress like that, the thing that attracted me to you. Oh, yeah. But now that you're dressing down, you're kind of gross to me. Explain. Explain what you did.

You did something wrong. You look yucky. Yeah. Why do I fuck that? Yucky. Why now that I've asked you to dress all modest, you're reminding me of my mom. Yeah.

And now you should do my dishes. Yeah. Thoughts. Thoughts about relationship transitions. I'm not attracted to you anymore. Clean my house. Same kind of guys. Those are the red flags.

Those are the red flags, ladies. Yeah. Also, if they're selling weapons to Nazis. That's another yeah we should probably keep that from this one that was also a bad thing that was quite a big red flag i think she probably should have seen that even though she was young um so he even had like maids listening on her phone calls to make sure she wasn't up to anything and he was constantly paranoid that she was having an affair she she wrote i knew very soon that i could never be an actress while I was his wife. He was the absolute monarch in his marriage. I was like a doll. I was like a thing, some object of art which had to be guarded and imprisoned, having no mind, no life of its own.

And I think the death of her father in 1935 also made her think a lot about what she wanted from her life and the freedom that she was longing for. So in 1937, she decided to leave her husband and her country. But you can't just leave a man like Fritz Mandl easily. You have to kill him. It's not easy to just be like, hey, Fritz, we've tried. Yeah, this sounds like that would be scary. Because he sounds like a psycho. Yeah.

So, what she did is they were hosting a dinner party one night and Hedy was sort of like, you know, involved in hiring the help, you know. So, she purposely chose a maid that had similar features to her. She swapped clothes with the maid, put on her coat, which she'd sewn all of her jewellery into the lining of, got on a bike and fled. One thing I read was that she put sleeping powder in a tea and swapped teas with the maid, sort of drugged her and took her clothes.

That sounds a bit worse. Not 100% sure if that's what she did. clothes that sounds a bit worse not 100 sure if that's what she did but and uh so fritz and the maid lived happily ever after he never noticed i don't know what happened back at fritz manor or whatever the castle's called hang on what does that even this is not my beautiful one yeah not really sure what happened for the maid. David Byrne was there. And that's when he went. And that's how he got the inspiration for that song. It's pretty amazing.

Anyway. This is not my beautiful castle. So she flees. She takes all her jewelry with her. She gets out. Her parents had friends in London. So that's where she chose to go. And while she was there in London,

she sort of spent a couple of months figuring out what her next moves would be. And she met with Louis B. Mayer of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. Louis B. Mayer. Louis B. Mayer. Louis B. making movies. Louis B. Mayer. Head of that bit. Louis B. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer studio. Was he the lion?

Yes. Oh, sick. Yeah, the lion. We talked about him, I think, in the Wizard of Oz episode. Probably, yeah. But yeah, I forget. There's some confusing thing about that history there. Like, he wasn't actually...

I can't remember, but there was some confusing thing. Well, he was in Europe scouting for talent. But essentially, he was actually there to buy up all the actors who were fleeing Nazi Germany. Buy them. Yeah, like buying them up, putting them on contracts, bringing them back to the States, the actors who were fleeing Nazi Germany. Buy them? Yeah, like buying them up, putting them on contracts, bringing them back to the States, and then you've just got them. Because back then, and I think it still happens a little bit,

but it's quite different now, but you were sort of like, you were on a contract with a particular movie studio. Yeah, and they were brutal deals. Like, they wouldn't make much money. They'd be the star. It took the for like the actors to group together and yeah take some the power back

yeah because it was more like it was like doing a day job pretty much it'd be like cool so you work at the studio yeah you do the acting

millions of watchmen adore you you're not getting any more money yeah exactly right finish it you haven't done contract you get an hourly wage

yeah turn up at 7 and we'll have a movie for you. We're writing it now. And yeah, we'll turn that out. And then, yeah, see you tomorrow. Yeah. So he was just there like scouting, getting all these people who were desperate and so would probably accept pretty low wages.

He offered her a contract with MGM paying 125 a week she turned him down she was like not enough bitch i was just living in a castle i just came from a castle so i was just living in a castle i'm not taking 125 a week she knows her worth and i like that what's that equivalent to in today's terms that's a good question not I mean, it's not nothing. It seems like a fair... It'd be like a thousand bucks or something, maybe? If like 280 grand was four and a half million now... Yeah, so it'd be thousands a week. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But movie stars can make millions. Exactly, yeah. It's a lot. I don't know if they're keeping up her castle lifestyle. Yeah, so she turns it down. The first run of movies, they were all Austrian movies, were they? Yeah. Or like, yeah, in various parts of Europe.

There was a few different ones there, yeah. But she's not in Hollywood yet. Instead, so she turns him down and then she books herself a ticket for the SS Normandy, the ship that Maya was taking back to New York. She puts herself on the same ship. Yeah, she should have been attracted to the SS.andy, the ship that Mayo was taking back to New York. She puts herself on the same ship. Yeah, she would have been attracted to the SS. She loves that world. On board the ship, she made sure to accidentally bump into him around.

Oh, hello, Mr. Mayo. Nice to see you. On the second night of the voyage, she put on her finest ball gown and walked through the dining room. Every eye in the room was glued to Hedy, her beauty capturing everyone's attention. By the end of the night, she had a contract for 500 a week. She's just like, everybody's looking at me.

This ball gown just paid for itself. Did she sew a ball gown into her jacket? Yeah, I don't know how she had it, but she was staying in a pretty modest cabin on the ship, but she was looking wealthy without actually being wealthy. She had time to spend some of her jewels on a ball gown. Oh, yeah, she had jewels, yeah. And they were like, yeah, they would have been good jewels,

so selling those would have kept you. You'd want to get rid of those. She's still technically married to Fritz I think so yeah Yeah Yeah interesting I wonder if that If he tracks her down or anything

Because she's not She's hardly hiding Yeah She's hiding in plain sight really It seems like he kind of let her go Right Like well He never figured it out

The maid He's still with the maid to this day She comes up all groggy and he's like, Hattie. Where you been, baby? And she's like, my name's not Hattie. You're like, jeez, have you had a hit your head or something? No, she looks around at the castle and it's like, yes.

I love you. Have you hit your Hattie or something? I had to, sorry. So anyway, yeah, so she's got this $500 a week contract. Maya was the one who persuaded her to change her name to distance herself from her real identity and the ecstasy lady. You don't want to be known as that and that reputation. So as an homage to silent film star Barbara Lamar,

Maya's wife suggested Hedy Lamar. Barbara Lamar, Meyer's wife suggested Hedy Lamar. Barb Lamar, that's a great name. Barbara Lamar was like L-A space M-A double R. Ah. Hedy is all one word. That's French for the ma. The ma. Barbara, the ma.

So Meyer took Hedy Lamar to Hollywood in 1938, began promoting her as the world's most beautiful woman. Like in a circus? Yeah. Come on down! What's very impressive about this part of her life as well is that she barely spoke any English at the time. She'd learnt enough phrases to sort of convince him to take her on

and that was it. I love that. Yeah. And by the time the boat arrives in New York, word had spread of her arrival, and crowds of reporters were there to interview and photograph Hedy Lamarr. Really? Yeah.

Someone named it that had been invented on the way, and was sort of unknown. Yeah. How did they get the info off the boat? It was the old times. Telegraph. You could do telegraphs on boats. On a boat? Yeah, the Titanic had

telegraphs on it, didn't it? Really? I reckon, surely. I've no idea, but yeah, that makes sense. I thought it had to go through cords. Yeah, I don't know. But that's wild that they would even be like... I'm thinking of the film Titanic. They were definitely doing something, weren't they? Yeah, weren't they doing Morse code? Yeah, but how did that work?

Don't at me. I don't care enough. And by the time you tweet at me to tell me, I've forgotten this. And I'll say, okay, whatever. So don't at me. Maybe you send a letter. Fuck how they send letters. Pigeon. I'm just going to believe pigeon.

Louis B. May is just so well-known as a star maker or something that he's gone, I've got the next biggest star in the world, you better get here. That's all it could have been, you'd think. Hey, it's your cousin. You know that new lady you've been looking for? Get a load of this. You're just holding the phone.

I can just hear people talking in the background Nah nah nah trust me That's how beautiful she was You could hear it You could hear it I found this quote on a Like a movie trivia website I think it's wikipedia.org

Oh great It's got heaps of like Movie trivia and stuff It's really cool Quite comprehensive actually Okay I'll have to check it out. Wikipedia.org. Okay, check it out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check it out. It's pretty fun. Like any movie you could think of, it's probably on there. All of them. You're such a computer whiz. You find these great websites. Yeah.

No, I am. And I do. Do you also love gadgets? Fuck, I love gadgets. I love to know how things work, you know? Not the Telegraph of the Titanic, though. No. So tell me about it.

I don't care. So this is a quote. It says, Mail loans Lamar to producer Walter Wagner, who was making Algiers in 1938. It was about a notorious French jewel thief hiding in the labyrinth native quarters of Algiers, known as the Casbah. Feeling imprisoned by his self-imposed exile,

he is drawn out of hiding by a beautiful French tourist who reminds him of happier times in Paris. That's nice. And she is a jewel thief. Yeah. She was also imprisoned a little bit. Yeah. So she could really relate to this role.

Lamar was cast as the lead opposite Charles Boyer. The film created a national sensation and Hedy was billed as an unknown but well-publicized Austrian actress, which created anticipation in audiences. They were like, who's it going to be? Oh, a well-publicized but unknown. Yeah, that feels like an oxymoron. Well, according to one viewer,

when her face first appeared on the screen, everyone gasped. Lamar's beauty literally took one's breath away. It's so... I can't imagine. I want to see her. Who's the hottest person in the world now? I know.

I don't know. I can't picture anyone taking my breath away. No. That's so... I just... It's so strange, isn't it? I mean, it's like... But it's this universal thing.

It happens throughout her entire life, all through her career. So many people talk about how you would see her on screen or you would see her in person and just like you could not not look at her. And I just can't relate to that. Do we just see more faces now? We're just used to seeing hot people more? I mean, maybe it's because we are hot people. We look in the mirror.

We see hot people every day. True. And it doesn't take my breath away. But back then, people would just see the people they live with, the people at work. Is that it? Yeah, maybe. And they're all poor and so therefore ugly.

Therefore ugly. Not like us. Rich and hot. I don't have that Hollywood $125 a week to make them beautiful. I'm thinking about like, okay, the actors, let's say, Hollywood people that I find attractive, I think I find them attractive because they're either funny or like they're good looking but I like them as a person too.

I don't know. It's weird, isn't it? It's strange. Like I believe that no one's lying and I just want to experience it. I know. Yeah. I just want to get just completely like, oh, no. Yeah.

I feel like it's not possible anymore. Yeah. I want someone to walk into a room and me just like jaw drop. I want to audibly gasp at someone's beauty. And I think that's too much to ask in this day and age, which is very disappointing. That's so sad. I want to audibly spoof when someone walks into the room.

What does that sound like? That's disgusting. It's very old spoof, dusty. It's been a while since anybody's taken your spoof away. Take my spoof away. So sorry. I'm so glad that Cass basically gave me permission to go to places like that by saying spoof earlier.

Yeah. If you're feeling like you hate this, you started it. I did. basically gave me permission to go to places like that by saying spoof earlier. Yeah. If you're feeling like you hate this, you started it. I did. I think it was last year or sometime you said the word spoof and I don't know if we were recording or not, but I remember being like, oh, my God. I haven't heard spoof in a while.

That's staying. There was for some reason there was an episode of, was it of this show that we, and I started listing like, you know, sprobs, spoof, jizz. Yeah, yes, it was this, yeah. Is this one you said, will we?

That was an episode you were on, maybe. Yeah, and I think, did we come up with the phrase boink me till I spoof? Boink? Oh man, boink is such a fun, bouncy word. Boink is great. Boink? Yeah, boink me till i was full boink oh man boink is such a fun word boink yeah boink is on a matter of pace but not yeah not for sex no like if if sex was slapstick yeah that's boink sounds like a watermelon that bounces a little bit if you've dropped it yeah exactly like sex yeah the way i do it so yeah everyone's gasping at the mere side of her

for the next few years she's invariably typecast as the uh you know glamorous seductress usually of exotic origin which to an american audience is anywhere not america um 1940s american western boom town had heady starring alongside clark gable and her performance solidified her career really made her a star over the next four or five years she filmed three movies a year alongside names like spencer tracy judy garland and she also married jean markey a screenwriter and producer. And apparently people, like one person in this documentary I watched was like, she could have married anyone. And she chose Jean. Like he was like plain looking and they're like, what are you doing?

She married Jean. I imagine I'd talk like that too. That's fantastic. She could have had anyone. Anyone she wanted. She chose Jean. You sound like, I saw that old sketch from Saturday Night Live. I think it's Elizabeth Taylor trying to turn off a lamp.

Doesn't it? Doesn't it sound like that? I haven't, but I already like it. Played by, what's her name? She's in a lot of stuff. She's in the Ghostbusters when it was all women. Is it Kate? Not Kate McKinnon.

Like, Generation before that. Oh, Generation before that. Oh, it doesn't matter. Has her face a bit long? A bit of a long face? It's not in a bad way. It's just a bit longer. Was she in Bridesmaids?

Yes. Yeah. Oh, Kristen Wiig? Kristen Wiig, yes. Oh, okay. Generation before. Yes, okay. Yeah, good one. And even the voice i was just doing was kristen wick essentially yeah so you're absolutely right short for kristen headwig

so she and gene um adopted a son james but after a few months of marriage gene was dating other beautiful young women the man what the fuck and? What? And Jean, let's remember. Plain old Jean? Plain Jean. He can't have anybody, but apparently he can. So Jean's got money and a big dick. That's what we know. That's what we know.

Oh, no, that's so shattering. This is like when Beyonce came out and she's like, Jay-Z cheated on me. It's like, well, I guess we're packing it in. I know. That was wild, wasn't it? It's like, what the fuck's going on? In what fucking universe do you check on Beyonce?

Are you kidding me? What is wrong with you? If you get Beyonce, you spend every day going, what the? I got Beyonce? And you make her a cup of tea. And you just treat her like the queen that she is. She'd be one of the hottest people in the world. 100%.

But I still don't. It doesn't take my breath away. I'm just like, holy shit. I know. Look at Beyonce. The first one I thought of, I was like, Margot Robbie? She's stunning. So beautiful.

Brad Pitt. Symmetrical faces all around. Brad Pitt's one of those people who's been hot forever. He's now sort of older man hot, but he's still super hot. Leo, like Titanic Leo. Jesus Christ, so hot. Nah, I don't see it. Did it take my breath away?

Don't see it. No. It's weird, isn't it? Leo, I don't see it. You don't think Leo's... When you said Jean, I pictured Leo. Okay. When you said plain.

Plain, boring. Yeah, that's Leo. Look, he seems like a nice guy. And Leo dates a lot of young women. Yeah. Yeah, he does. So, boring. Yeah, that's Leo. Look, he seems like a nice guy. And Leo dates a lot of young women. Yeah. Yeah, he does. So, yeah, he's a real gene. All right, that's who we're casting as gene.

Okay. So, yeah, their marriage sort of fell apart a few years later in 1941. While the Hollywood it girl image is usually associated with parties, glamour and luxury, Hedy would come home after long days of filming and work on her hobby inventing oh i love her yeah she's really cool i love like she was genuinely like the roles that she was given often didn't have some of them didn't have a whole bunch of like um dialogue for her or it would be she still hadn't learned english and also she was just there to be beautiful also that's good she can save all her brain space for machines yeah but she was just

bored by the films that she was making she was like this is fucking boring um so she would come home and like work on projects and work on inventions and hearing her talk about it as a as a much older woman she was like inventions just come so easily to me. Like, they just pop into my head. I'm just like, oh, yeah, what about this? What did she invent? She came up with a toaster. Yeah, she's like, bread. Imagine that. It was, like, a little bit cooked.

Yeah. Imagine if it was just a bit charred on the outside. Let's give that a go. Yeah, double cooked. I hadn't even thought about that. Bread's already cooked. Yeah. Holy shit.

Toaster's double cooked? You've only just thought of that. Bloody hell. That has spoofed my brain. Matt, no. Does that work? No. But we're two years into the Second World War now.

Yeah. And she's like, oh, glad I got out of there. Yeah. It was a good call. She's starting to think Adolf Hitler's not all he seemed to be. He never did compliment Max Haller's at the dinner parties, did he? One of the

inventions that she worked on, and she said it was like, you know, it didn't quite work, but something that she thought of, because of the war, people didn't have Coca-Cola. And so she thought of making it just like a cube that you could just add to water and it would uh what's

the word like it would dissolve yeah and you would have invented barocca well what she what she did make she was like tastes a bit too it's just like alka-seltzer it's not quite what i was going for but like she had that sort of idea and she worked on it for a while and stuff it's pretty interesting so she she was a good at ideas yeah yeah but i mean that's that's what so much of inventing is and that's what a few people sort of said it's like the heart not the hard part but like there's multiple different elements to inventing a new thing and just because you don't have the engineer brain for it you know you just need the people that have the ideas yeah so what is it is it i don't know if this saying is relevant is it something like one percent inspiration 99 perspiration

yeah it's all it's the yeah most of it is making it happen which is a tough bit it's like leonardo dicaprio leonardo da vinci yes invented a helicopter sort of but yeah he drew it and he thought of it but it didn't actually get made until... And Hedy wasn't just ideas. She had a good sort of understanding of how things worked or she was good at finding out how things worked. But yeah, she's not an engineer. She's not an actual scientist, but she's got these ideas. Among the few people who knew of her inventiveness was aviation tycoon and past topic, Howard Hughes.

Played by Leonardo da Vinci in the film The Aviator. In fact, she suggested he change the rather square design of his aeroplanes, which she thought looked too slow, to a more streamlined shape based on pictures of the fastest birds and fish she could find. She said, I got a picture, I got a book of fish, and I got a book of birds. And I said, make this... Mushroom together. Yeah, she's like, make picture i got a book of fish and i got a book of birds and i said make this mushroom together yeah she's like make this bit look more like a fish make this bit look more

like a bird and howard hughes did that that's very clever that's great so she helped planes go faster which he was trying to do to help a war so she was like here's how you make a fast plane your plane's too slow she was like this is this is my karma like like, fixing itself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, I'll do this as my penance. And she does even more. From Wiki, Lamar discussed her relationship with Hughes during an interview, saying that while they dated, he actively supported her tinkering hobbies. So she's sort of like, yeah, yeah, we kind of dated,

but he was more like, he was really supportive of my inventing. He put his team of scientists and engineers at her disposal, saying they would do or make anything she asked for. Aww. So she would just be like, hey, can you guys whip this up for me? They'd be like, no worries, Hedy. Like cocktails or she's sitting by the pool. Can you whip up a martini for me?

You know what? I could go just a toasted cheese sandwich. What's toast? Wow. Would I say no to a martini with it? Of course not. I'm not an idiot. I'm Hedy Lamarr. We can wait for clean water

solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Death is in our air. This year's most anticipated series fx's shogun only on disney

plus we live and we die we control nothing beyond that an epic saga based on the global best-selling novel by james clavelle to show your true heart is to risk your life when i die here you'll never leave japan alive fx'sogun, a new original series streaming February 27th exclusively on Disney+. 18 plus subscription required. T's and C's apply. So when she'd moved to America,

she was told, as were many other actresses from that area of Western Europe, not to talk about their religious background, sort of where they'd come from. And it was because like world war ii was happening and things weren't great yeah um and during world war ii german u-boats were attacking ships filled with people trying to escape the war and lamar learned that radio-controlled torpedoes which was an emerging technology in naval war at the time could easily

be jammed and set off course so essentially like they made torpedoes that they could kind of control the direction of them because if you shot at something and it's moved and you're like well it's a wasted torpedo you could move them a little bit but the other like the germans would be able to jam that signal meaning you couldn't communicate so she thought of creating a frequency hopping signal that could not be tracked or jammed she contacted her friend composer and pianist george anthill to help her develop a device for doing exactly that and he succeeded by synchronizing a miniature player piano mechanism with radio signals so essentially what would happen instead it's sort of like dialing your radio right so you go to like 107.5

in melbourne and that's triple j in this one um like you would the the your boat and the torpedo would be on the same wavelength but then the enemy would be able to block that wavelength so you can't and so what they did was the torpedo and the boat would both have like timers essentially where they would at the exact same time change radio frequencies and they would do that multiple times so that they could always be communicating with each other and it was impossible to jam it.

Very clever. That is very clever. Took me a really long time to try and figure out how to explain it. But once you got the triple J thing in your head, they said, if you think of a radio, and I was like, I'm listening. I don't know how radios work. I know what buttons I need to press,

but I don't know how they work on the other end. Do you reckon the Germans who were being told to torpedo the boats of people fleeing war, they might have been like, hang on, are we the bad guys here? Killing innocent people, people like just civilians fleeing? So that ship of just women and children, I should... Blow that one up?

Torpedo? You got it, boss. Oh, we're getting it. Okay. Okay. And what do we... So then we go and get them off the... No.

And so do we have enough little boats to go get them or we're not going to get them? Okay. But this is all part of our righteous plan? Yeah. Yeah, and this is to make the world better. Okay. And those are bad people who have just done bad things.

Oh, no, they're all just innocent. Okay. Okay. And they're trying to escape the horrors of war. Us. Us. The weak cause. Oh, that's interesting.

The weak cause. Okay. So they're just trying to get to safety and we're just following them out. Okay. Yeah, none of that cool. trying to get to safety and we're just following them out okay yeah none of that cool um so yes they've um they they drafted designs for this frequency hopping hopping system which they um they had patented they got the patent for it however it was technologically difficult to implement and at that time the u.s navy was not receptive to considering inventions coming from

outside the military they weren't receptive to inventions that could help them win the war. Yeah. Not if they're not coming from inside. Yours jammed. Oh, yeah, but we know that they jammed. Yeah. We don't know you. Okay.

And so Lamar and Antheil essentially took this patent to the Navy and were like, here, here you go. And the Navy took the patent locked it away brushed them off and heady was told that she'd be more help with the war if she just used her star power to sell war bonds she'd just come up with a fucking they based captain america on her yeah the first movie yeah probably a war bond it's like an initiative by a government to fund military operations. Essentially, people just invest in the war, which is a bit of fun.

So they took her patent, they buried it, and then after the war they said, is this your patent? And it was one of the best reveals ever. That Navy officer was the great Bambini. Is that a magician? No, that's a baseball player. That's a Babe Ruth. Yeah. That Navy officer was the great Bambini. Is that a magician? No, that's a baseball player.

That's a Babe Ruth. Yeah. So she did that. She went and sold war bonds. She was like, fine, I'll go to events. I'll go to, you know, whatever. And she appeared at so many events. One of them I heard, like, they had a plant in the audience, essentially, and she'd sort of make jokes of like, oh, should I, like, I'll kiss a random person.

And she'd bring this guy up on stage and she'd be like, only if we sell enough war bonds, then I'll give him a smooch. It was the same guy. It was like a friend of hers. And people are going, I want to see those two kiss. I know. So fucking weird. But she sold $25 million in war bonds,

which is over $300 million today. Holy hell. God, she's powerful. So they were like, thanks for this cute little invention, Toots. It'd be a little more helpful to us if you went and raised some money. So she's like, okay. And she raised a fuckload of money. So war bonds are kind of investments?

I think so. I find them kind of confusing. So it's like, yeah, the public can kind of buy these war bonds. And I think, I don't know if they ever sort of get their money back or I'm not really sure exactly how it works. It seems a little confusing. I'll just quickly say, please tweet at Jess an explanation in detail. Ideally over multiple tweets. It's important to know what a war bond is.

Don't thread them. Do not thread them. Separate tweets. It's important to know what a war bond is. Don't thread them. Do not thread them. Separate tweets. Yeah, don't make it easy. Make me work for it. Don't number them. Yeah, don't number them. Just yell that information into the ether.

I'll get it. I'll get it all. Thank you. Is this your patent? I don't know what the bit is. I don't get it. There's no real bit there. Okay, all right.

I just try and stuff. Every now and then I haven't said something for a little bit. And I think, oh, it's talking time. Here comes Maddie. If you could edit that out, that'd be great. Nah, that will be staying in. I like the great band being. I have a few swings, a few misses.

Hey, don't we all? I pointed to the stand and I had a big fresh airy. It was a curveball. Yep. I made no contact. Okay. So after all this effort, fundraising and inventing for America, MGM put her in a 1942 film, White Cargo,

in which she played a seductive native woman. Way too much spray tan. Hard to say because it's a black and white film, but it definitely looks like blackface. The movie was considered a dirty picture. It was essentially made to entertain horny troops. Like, hey, it's the war. The boys are, you know, they've got to give them something.

And you know what men love. We know what men love. We know what men love. Men love dirty films. Big spoof. They love to watch them with all of their friends. Sit around in a cinema, get horny with their mates. Nothing better than getting horny together with your mates. Isn't that nice?

Yeah. Women don't do that. No. And what a sad part of the world we miss out on. There's definitely no all-male strip reviews that women go to. It's weird. It's sad they haven't invented it. Sad there's no men who do it even.

Might be a gap in the market, actually. I don't know about other parts of the world, but you're right. We don't have men down under. There's no men down under. Nothing magical for us to see. No mics with any sort of magical disappointing anyway women need to learn how to spoof god thank you for being a feminist hey i'm an ally women deserve to spoof women deserve to

spoof just as much as anyone else it was a bit of a reflection of the way louis b mayer viewed hetty lamar because most definitely because of her role in Ecstasy, he kind of like he thought of her as sort of trashy, promiscuous, you know, like, yeah. So he put her in this kind of role. And because of Mayer's opinion of Hedy Lamarr, she began to gain a reputation as being difficult. But in reality, he was trying to keep her on a short leash

and she was saying, nah, fuck that. Like he wasn't treating her well and she was pushing back and so that gave her a reputation as like a bit of a diva, hard to work with, a difficult person. It's very frustrating. So in an unheard move for a woman at the time, she formed a production company, made a couple of her own movies. They were thrillers.

One was called The Strange Woman in 1946 and Dishonored Lady in 1947. That's when you sit on a woman for long enough that they go numb. You shouldn't do that. Don't sit on women until they go numb. Don't. Cut it out. Anyway, so yeah, so she's like formed her own production company. She's making her own movies.

She doesn't really have like the skills, training training whatever to be producing these big movies but she's fucking giving it a crack and that's pretty cool good on her by this time she was married to her third husband actor john loda and together they had two children denise and anthony born in 45 and 47 and it was later revealed that the son she'd adopted with Jean Markey, James, was in fact the biological son of John Loder and Hedy Lamarr. So James had been conceived out of wedlock, and then Hedy married somebody else and adopted her own son. Ah. The perfect crime.

Yeah. I think this was found out, like, way down the track. I think James might have found that out as an adult. But he – James became kind of estranged from his mother. It's like the reverse. Like, you know, it doesn't really happen, I don't think, as much anymore. But people would used to keep the secret that a kid was adopted. And then kids would often find out later.

Yeah, yeah. Now I think people will more likely just tell their kids they're adopted from the start. It's not a dirty secret anymore. No, it's not a bad thing. But back then she had to come clean and tell the kid, no, you're actually my biological son. Yeah, it was like, no. Yeah, I think it was as he was an adult. But he was estranged from his mum from about the age of 12 and they didn't speak for about 50 years.

50? 40, 50 years they didn't speak. And it wasn't because of this i don't think i like i said i think he found out more as an adult he was sort of sent off to like a boarding school kind of thing and um uh like had a great connection with like the one of the sports coaches or something and the sports coach and his wife took him in and he and he like called his mom one time i was like can i just live with him just fucking brutal but um and he talks about it in and he like called his mum one time and was like, can I just live with him? Which is fucking brutal.

And he talks about it in a documentary and he's like, you know, I can understand she was hurt. It was a bit of a slap in the face. Yeah, a little bit. But yeah, so that's a bit strange. But anyway, her other two children talk about her being a really wonderful, warm and loving mum. Again, a bit of like a thing you don't – in some of these old sort of hollywood stories they've

usually been treated badly by their parents they're not always the best parents themselves um her kids like speak really really highly of of their childhoods have we have we spoken about the patent is it still locked up by the name yeah it's still locked up till this day or where we're at in the story where we're at yeah the story? Where we're at, yeah. So, yeah, she spent as much time as she could with her kids, taught them to swim. They had really happy and comfortable childhoods. Their father, John Loder, left when their kids were quite young and Hetty raised them by herself with the help of her mother, Trude,

who had by this time made it to America and lived close by. What's that name, Trude? Yeah, Gertrude called her Trude. Oh, sick. Trude sort of had to flee Austria in the war. Weird. It just wasn't the vibe at the time. Jewelry in the coat.

Yeah. She made a maid sleep and then left in the night. It's beautiful. Made a maid sleep. Made a maid sleep. Off to sleep. But raising the children alone and putting so much money into self-producing films

left Hedy not quite as financially comfortable as she should have been. Luckily, she heard that Cecil B. DeMille, everyone's got a middle initial. That means the mill in French. He was casting a new movie, Samson and Delilah. She approached Cecil and expressed enthusiasm for the role and she was cast as Delilah.

The film was a huge success, winning two Oscars and was the highest grossing film of 1949 and the second highest of the decade with only Gone With The Wind surpassing it. Wow. That is very impressive. Yeah. Gone With The Wind's insane.

Exactly. And to be the second highest grossing of the decade and it came out in 1949. Like, you've just blown everything away. So cool. So she's, like, doing quite well for a while. That's sort of, you know, given her another little boost. She's making some more stuff again.

I thought Gone with the Wind came out in 39. I don't know. Why would I know that? It was 39 to 49. That's 10 years. I guess that counts. Oh, my God. Crazy. 49. That's 10 years. Yeah, I guess that counts. Oh, my God. Crazy.

I think that's 11 years. But anyway, still. Still. Still? Still. Still pretty good. Decades were longer back then. Yeah, we've shortened decades.

I think it was 66 we shortened the decades. Oh, yeah. They made them different back then. They lasted longer. Your pants lasted longer. The decades lasted longer. Your fridges lasted longer. I pants lasted longer. The decades lasted longer. Your fridges lasted longer.

Bloody hell. I don't make decades last. I used to. So her success and buzz soon dwindled again, and in the early 50s, she had a few unsuccessful films and another unsuccessful marriage to nightclub owner and restaurateur Ted Stouffer. They were married just from 51 to 52, a fairly short marriage there. In 53, she married wealthy Texas oil man Howard Lee,

and the family moved to Texas where Hedy found herself in the position of trophy wife once again. On a holiday to Aspen, Hedy came up with the idea of designing and building a ski resort. So she convinced Howard to purchase land, and Villa Lamar was born. She built a freaking really fancy, beautiful ski resort. When she gets bored, a lot of stuff happens. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's like what a life you've really lived. After several years of marriage to Howard Lee, Hedy and Howard divorced and in the divorce proceeding, she said, all I want is Aspen. He was a very wealthy man. She's like, keep it all, I don't give a shit but aspen's my project my baby like i want aspen which i think was like you know fairly agreed upon but as the this is tragic as the divorce proceedings uh were underway okay i said this is tragic and then i'm gonna say something that's

gonna sound like it's quite tragic but i'll tell you now he's fine hedy's 11 year old son tony was in a car accident was in hospital with some bad injuries um so she sent this is incredible divorce proceedings underway she's been called to court for this divorce but she's with her son in hospital so she sends her hollywood body double to court in her place the maid the maid still groggy which i think is like it's pretty it's a bold move to go well there's a little to work especially when you're so your face is so famous exactly uh the judge was pretty unimpressed and as punishment she was completely cut out of the divorce settlement that's the sort of fucked bit. Tony was fine. But this whole sort of situation led to what she described as a nervous breakdown.

Yeah, Tony made a full recovery, but Hedy began a bit of a downward spiral. She married for the sixth time, marrying her divorce lawyer, Louis J. Boyce, and divorced him two years later. And after Louis, she remained unmarried for the remainder of her life. Being divorced from a divorce lawyer, you wouldn't feel too good about your chances in court. Yeah, he's really going to take everything.

By the 70s, Hedy was living a fairly reclusive life. A lifetime of scrutiny and focus on her appearance made her increasingly self-conscious, and she kept to herself, not even seeing family. There was sort of in the doco, it was sort of talk about like plastic surgery she was having and then people were sort of obsessed with that and so they'd go to plastic surgeons and be like i want what headies had done and um yeah it sort of got really out of hand as it often does when when all your value is put in your face it'll be aging would be particularly brutal exactly yeah horrific to just be like oh no one will listen to me unless i am beautiful oh well okay

i can walk into a room and get what i want and then all of a sudden that is gone you're like well no one has listened to me i guess no one will listen to me exactly and i i do sort of feel like i was talking to some friends about this recently i sort of feel like the perception of people having plastic surgery or any kind of cosmetic surgery i think the perceptions changed quite a bit now like when i was growing up it was really like you'd roll your eyes or you'd really judge people who had had any kind of cosmetic surgery and like sitting around in a group of women in our early 30s and people have had botox and people are talking about doing things and it's like yeah cool whatever like i think it's changed a lot but this is you know in the 70s and it was yeah i think it was still very

much really different exactly right there's also the technology hadn't come on quite as much as well so it was way riskier yeah that's very true um sadly all good things must come to an end, and Hedy Lamarr passed away from heart disease in January 2000, at the age of 85. Oh, my God, good innings. And her son Anthony spread her ashes in the Vienna woods in Austria as per her final wishes. But just to note as well, because, Matt, you were asking about what happened with the patent.

In the early 60s, at the time of the Cuban Missile Crisis, US Navy ships were sent to form a blockade of cuba and all the navy ships were equipped with frequency hopping radios heady's patent had been used more than a decade after the patent had been handed to them to help in world war ii in order for heady to get paid for the patent, the Navy would need to use it before it expired in 1959. Patents all kind of expire. They were like, well, we didn't. It's 1962. We didn't use it before 1959.

There's evidence, though, that they had given the patent to a contractor to work on around 1955, who then used it to design a sonar buoy, which would allow Navy ships and passing aircrafts to communicate securely. According to US patent law, the inventor has six years after the patent expires to sue for payment.

Hattie didn't know or didn't find out in time, I know, that it had been used or that she should have been paid. It's so weird, such an obese, the amount of money that's spent on defence in America especially, but like in a lot of countries. Yeah. And they're tired about just paying the person who invented the technology.

Yeah. That sucks so much. It sucks so much. There was this article written by Fleming Meeks for Forbes magazine in 1990 and it's kind of a bit of a focus of this documentary. It's on Stan if you're in Australia it's called Bombshell um it was the first time that it was sort of brought to light that Hedy's appearance wasn't wasn't all that she had to offer um bringing her invention to the public meant that others explored it and the first to do so were people in

communications technology so he essentially like wrote about this frequency hopping thing which then other people read that and went hmm that's interesting and frequency hopping and Hedy's patent have led to things like GPS, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth and the Milstar satellite system which provides protected secure communication for the President of the United States. Oh my god. The market value of her invention is about $30 billion. GPS, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, all stuff we use every single day. Thank you, Hedy. Oh, my God.

Isn't that crazy? While the last years of her life seemed to have been a bit lonely and isolated, she was an incredible person. She had 30 films in the span of 28 years iconic characters were modeled after her like snow white and cat woman like literally the look of snow white is hetty lamar um and an underappreciated invention that is now the basis of things that we use on a daily basis all because an incredibly beautiful woman also had a brain. Fleming Meeks, this is in his article in Forbes, he wrote, in her Hollywood days, Lamar was often quoted as saying,

any girl can be glamorous. All she has to do is stand up. All she has to do is stand still and look stupid. Glamorous she was, stupid she was not. Thanks, Meeks. A beautiful poetic line there from Fleming Meeks. But yeah, that's the story of like a pretty wild life, a successful acting career,

six marriages, three kids, and an invention that is now worth $30 billion and that we all use on a daily basis. Jesus. How cool is that? So cool. That's amazing.

And so there would have been, in her life, she would have been aware of the invention and how big an effect it was having, which is kind of cool, even though she didn't make any money out of it. It doesn't sound like she was really money hungry anyway. Nah. Especially after the divorce of the Texan man.

She was pretty, like, I think she was a bit frustrated that, like, she wasn't given the credit that she deserved. She was honoured in an award by Milstar, I think, but she was pretty reclusive by that time, so Anthony accepted the award, and she was just sort of grateful that people were appreciating, you know, what she had come up with. Yeah yeah it's nice that she lived to see that exactly yeah because yeah like we said you know you've had your whole life of people literally she'd be

saying like she'd say something really interesting and they'd be like uh-huh uh-huh so beautiful so aren't you beautiful like that would be frustrating. So for her to get the recognition that, you know, she had a brain and it was a bloody good one, it's nice that she got a bit of it. But it's not quite the satisfying ending you want for her. No. So it's a pretty wild life. Everybody who suggested it, nearly everyone was like,

it's a tragic but amazing life. And, yeah, I think i agree with them yeah oh great great work well told thank you so much i appreciate that so much well you know i do my best so cast i think you got to run before we do our everyone's favorite section of the show but um where can people find if they want to hear more of you? If you want to hear more of me, go to samspansradio.com. I'm on D&D, some nerds, YMS ad and shut up a second. And I'd love to hear from you hearing from me. You can go to at CassCassPage across all the socials I have.

If you can't find me there, I'm not there. That's Paige with an I. Yeah, because I am Cass. Yeah. That's your stage an I. Yeah, because I am Cass. Yeah. That's your stage name. Yeah. Yeah. Birth name was no I.

Yeah, obviously. Because then people wouldn't know it was me. Yeah. It was I. It was I. It was I. The Cass Cass online. Which is your Cass phrase.

Yeah. Well, I better spoof off. What an exit. Thanks, Cass. Thank you for having me, guys. Well, Jess, it is now time for everyone's favorite section of the show, the fact, quote, or question section, which I think has a jingle that goes something like this.

Fact, quote, or question. Ding. I always remember the ding. In this section of the show, we like to thank a bunch of our supporters Despite what some snarky commenters say This section goes for about 30-40 minutes every week And it isn't growing in length Oh, bloody hell

They just don't stop thanking us There's always these comments like... That's really funny. Yeah, really, oh, the episodes are getting longer. Yeah, probably mainly just the end bit. And the end bit goes about the same. The reports vary in length. Yeah.

But it doesn't get to me. Don't worry about that. Sorry that we thank people at the end of the episode. So sorry. But yeah, for those people, you definitely don't have to listen to this bit, even though it is everyone's favourite section of the episode. I'm so sorry. But yeah, for those people, you definitely don't have to listen to this bit, even though it is everyone's favorite section of the show. Yeah.

No pressure in any way. So we'd like to thank a bunch of our supporters. These are the people who keep this show going. So if you like the report bit, then you should also be grateful to these people. And if you want to join in on the supporting uh you can do so at patreon.com slash to go on pod or do go on pod.com uh there's a bunch of different levels you get all sorts of different rewards uh you get uh at any level you get to go be in the facebook group which is the nicest corner of the internet uh you can also vote on topics. Was today a personal choice or is it a vote?

Personal choice this week. But we still have a look through the hat. Yeah, and Dave and I, that means Dave and I at the moment are putting our topics up to the vote. You also get discounted tickets. You can hear about tickets before everyone else for live shows and a bunch of other things, including if you're on the Sidney Sheinberg level,

you get to give us a factor quote or a question. Sidney Sheinberg obviously being the great producer of films like Back to the Future, who I think was one of the first like 20 episodes we talked about Back to the Future. Was it that long ago? I think so. When we learn about the great Sidney Sheinberg. Wow.

Someone recently, I saw another comment, someone saying, why do they always mention Sidney Sheinberg? What does that mean? We did do an episode about him, and he was also talked about. Yeah. But that's what the reference is for.

Anyway, on that level, you get to give us a fact, a quote, or a question. And I read out four each week. The first one this week comes from, I believe, a long, long time supporter. Great man. He was a guest on Primates one time. But I think this is his first fact, quote, or question. It's coming from Brian Colella.

And you also get to give yourself a title as well as giving us a fact, quote, or question. Or brag or suggestion. Yeah, it can be anything, really. Pretty much anything you like. If you want me to give yourself a title as well as giving us a fat quota question or brag or suggestion. Yeah, it can be anything really. Pretty much anything you like. If you want me to do a recipe, I don't care. Just write anything in there. Fantastic suggestion that is. Thank you.

If I was doing one, I'd be doing, it's not mine, but the lemonade scones which I baked last week and they were pretty good three ingredients yeah i think it's three and a half cups of self-raising flour one cup of milk and one cup of lemonade no no not one cup of milk one cup of thickened cream oh and then you sort of you chuck it all in a bowl and you just stir it but not too much then you flop it onto your like a bench or whatever yep with a bit of flour extra flour roll it sort of pat it down a little bit more into a disc and then cut it out into the things put in the pan into the oven bada bing bada boom bada bang my mom always used a glass, like a small glass, to cut them out.

And the sound of it is one of my favourite childhood sounds. It made such a satisfying sound. It's a weird thing because I never made scones before, but it took me right back to childhood. Even the little offcuts of the dough, I ate a bit of it. Yes, yes. Which is such a strange flavor, but it just was like it made me feel so nostalgic for being a kid and mum baking scones, which of course you put cream on and then jam.

Whatever. Anyway, Brian Colella has given himself the title Milk Drinker Extraordinaire. Okay, Brian, we are different people brian does do a podcast about about milk okay i don't know that milk i wish i could remember what it's called but i think it's i think it's all about drinking milk okay um and brian has offered us a brag slash plug oh this may well be about that podcast i should say i don't read these out until i read them out we're about to find out uh brian writes uh daniel k and i just recorded our 50th episode of our podcast milking it well that's good we started recording around the start of the pandemic

just for a laugh but it ended up being so much fun to make that we kept going having it as a creative outlet was one of the things that helped me survive those early stages of isolation and adapt to staying at home forever i think it's a really fun podcast mostly because i have a lot of fun making it mostly because daniel k is really funny recording has been sporadic lately partly because the united states is deeply uncreative when it comes to flavored milks is that true wow true? Wow. I don't know. I just, I'm always surprised by, because, you know, so much American culture filters through to us. I just, I'm always surprised when we have things that aren't, because we have a ridiculous array of flavoured milks.

Yeah. The ones that make no sense. Big M's always coming out with the specials. Yeah, Egg Flip was one of their classic ones. Blue Heaven and they're doing ones that shouldn't be. What was the flavor of Egg Flip? What flavor is that? I think it's meant to be like egg, like a fried egg or something.

How the fuck would I? Sorry, I don't eat eggs, so that's disgusting to me. And there's that Zupa Dupa range that came out. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of, yeah. Like Icy Pole flavored milk. It's like, that doesn't make any sense. That's so strange. I was always a strawberry Big M kid or banana Big M.

Nah, I hated banana. I like banana, strawberry Big M kid or banana Big M. Nah, I hate a banana. I like banana, but not banana flavored things. Right. Because banana flavor apparently is what banana used to taste like. Like lolly banana and that. Oh. I think that's the theory. Yeah, that vaguely rings a bell.

I don't know. 50 episode, Brian. That's great. Yeah, that's amazing. So, anyway, yes. Recording has been sporadic lately, partly because the United States is deeply uncreative when it comes to flavoured milks,

but we're still going and we'll release at least six more episodes. Brian, you've got to come back down to Melbourne sometime and just do, you could do a whole run here. Yeah. Bonus fact, the name Milking It was suggested by Andy Matthews, a previous guest of the show, some sort of scientist. And the original idea was that I would be milking the advantageous exchange rate

while in Melbourne for the 2020 Comedy Festival and using my powerful US dollars to buy and drink all the flavoured milks in Australia. That idea died, but the concept lived on. Bonus quote. Sorry for the super long, gratuitous, shameless plug. I love you all. That's a quote from Brian Colella.

Bonus, bonus quote. Moo, moo, everyone. That's from Daniel Kay. That's nice. You really did. You were milking your brag there, Brian. And we love it. And we loved every moment of it.

We loved it so much. And hey, you know. He could have done a mil... Like he's been on the Fat Quarter question level for... So long. So long, and that's his first one. So I think he deserved a long and juicy one there. Absolutely.

Thanks so much, Brian, for all your support, you bloody legend. Love you, Brian. Next one comes from Jacob Giron. Maybe year on? It's the kind of word that seems like it could have a soft G. Yeah. It's the kind of word that seems like it could have a soft G Yeah Jacob Giron

Okay, the owner of the 1993 Honda Civic With its lights on in the parking lot That's good And Jacob is offering us fact Writing, hey guys, hope the bopper is feeling better I am, thank you If I'm correct, Matt said my last name the French way Which is the best way.

Oh my God, I think I just did it again. Anyways, just finished up the Le Monde episode and just heard a great Pittsburgh fact, so I decided that it's time for some Los Angeles fun facts tailored to Do Go On. Great. First fact is for the arse-packing fans who should be excited to know that Los Angeles coroner's office has a gift shop. Surely they must sell Green Bay Packers jerseys. The second fact is that Los Angeles owes its film industry to the low-dog Thomas Edison, whose film patents on the East Coast caused filmmakers to flee West to avoid his intellectual property claims.

Hopefully, Bop gives the okay on the fun of these facts. My confidence in life depends on it. Well, God. Luckily, that was a fun fact. Anyway, thanks for all that you do and can't wait to see you live in Los Angeles once all this blows over. Oh, my God. Oh, God.

That would be amazing. That would be so good. Imagine we get a photo in front of the Hollywood sign. Probably from a distance while we're walking in the cab or something driving by.

To an Irish pub. We're probably... Thank you, Jacob. Next one comes from Michael Derizzi who is the arrogant American and he's also doing a brag which is

I've been playing fantasy football for well over a decade, and I finally won my first championship thanks to Cooper Cup and Austin Eckler, absolutely demolishing my league mates. My team scored over 200 more points season long than the next best team. I also finished runner-up in the second league I'm in. $100, which I assume is $200 Canadian dollars and $500 Australian dollar-y dues. This was

the most fun and successful fantasy season I've ever had and can't wait for next year. That's two of the three so far that have had a crack at the Australian dollar. Have they nailed it? The Australian dollar is actually tipped to rise. They're thinking it could even top out at $80 US cents

coming up. um that would be actually really great for me with a holiday planned to the to hawaii fantastic that would be very convenient for me let's hope that happens uh thank you very much michael that's great i played my first fantasy football league this season and was on top of the table all season. But I lost the final by less than two points. And it was because my three key players all played for the Packers. The quarterback, Rodgers. Running back and wide receiver, Devontae Adams. And they got benched with like eight minutes to go

because they were flogging the other team and it was coming up to their playoffs. So they were just resting the players. I'm like, you are freaking kidding me. But that's how that goes. Anyway, and finally, James Edwards. What are you laughing at? I'm remembering that in last week's episode,

we brought James Edwards into the triptych club and Dave says he wished Matt was Deadwoods. And so that just made me laugh. Sorry. James Edwards, who I recall as being one of the great laughers. We mentioned this most times we bring him up. One of the great laughers when we were over in London. And I always think when I say that,

I must come across like no one's laughing. If you can remember the name of a laugher. Yeah, that's true. I remember everyone who's laughed at my jokes by name. Because there are so few. Particularly at the Bill Murray show, he just had a riotous laugh and I met him later. Anyway, so James has the title,

Shoeshine Shop Sally's Supervisor. She sits and shines and shines and sits and shines. Matt, you did so well there. Yeah. Did I pass that test? Yeah, I reckon you did. James has asked a question, writing, Hey team, I hope you are all well and not getting too down with the COVID.

Maybe there are some loose plans for some international live shows in the pipeline. Anyway, my actual question is, do you believe in aliens or anything supernatural, or have you had any supernatural experiences? And then he answers his own question. Do you want to hear his answer first? Yeah, absolutely, I do. To answer my own question do you want to hear his answer yeah absolutely i do uh to answer my own question i've had some strange experiences which could be described as supernatural uh and i think it's unlikely we are completely alone in the universe but have no

evidence to back this up love the show keep doing what you're doing and i hope to see you soon james xxx geez a little bit vague there on what your supernatural experiences were, but yeah, I would agree. I'm like, in my head, I'm like, universe is so freaking big. Yeah, it's so unlikely that we are the only things living in the universe, and all we've done with that is like made some roads and laws and we have to get permits for things you know what i mean sometimes i'm like fuck you know we've made all of this up yeah it's it's funny why have we chosen to make that up it's a dumb rule

um so yeah i believe there's got to be something out there i don't think they're close you know they're not you know just on the next planet um but there's got to be something out there. I don't think they're close. They're not just on the next planet. But there's got to be something else out there, surely. That's what I figure. But, I mean, I'm not at all a science guy. I'm not Hedy Lamarr. And I don't think they're there and they are aware of us and they're coming to kill us.

Like every alien movie. They're probably going, is there going to be something out there? Nah. Yeah, they're probably thinking the same thing. Or they're moss you know yeah yeah exactly yeah yeah and they're like wow they made roads i feel like supernatural things you know like i remember there have been funny coincidences through my life i'm sure the one time i reckon i i remember my when my granddad died i i could have sworn that he was sitting at the end of my bed one night that week.

I could feel him there. And like the lights were off, I couldn't see, but I could feel that he was there. And now I just think I've probably created that to comfort myself at the time. But it felt super real at the time. Even if you were dreaming, even if it was sort of an imagination, like who cares? Yeah. How cool is that, that our brains can do that?

Yeah, I love the idea. I wish it was true. Yeah. I'd love there to be, you know, more to life. That'd be lovely. But I just can't quite get my head to believe it. Yeah. Yeah.

How about you? Do you recall any nothing really i think it's a similar kind of thing of like um you know weird little coincidences or assigning meaning to coincidences and then if that brings comfort so be it do you know what i mean yeah kookaburras to me are like a that's a sign of of my partner's dad who's gone. Right. I'm always like, oh, there he is. It's just nice, isn't it?

Yeah. There was one like at his funeral. There was a couple of them at his funeral. And then there was, first time I visited the grave, I could hear, I heard a Kookaburra. And so now every time I hear a Kookaburra, I think of him. And that's really nice. That's great. And it's probably not him reincarnated as a Kookaburra.

But if it brings any kind of comfort, then I think that's great and it's probably not him reincarnated as a kookaburra but if it brings any kind of comfort then i think that's nice at at granddad's funeral um for some reason we as a family we picked this song from i think it's called autumn leaves i can't remember but um and and there were just lyrics in the song it was like the time of the year and it just like all these things were like, it's like, oh, wow, that's eerie how much it connects or, you know, we made it connect to him and what we were going through. And then as that song played, as he was at the end of the funeral, an autumn leaf floated down and landed on the coffin.

No way. And it just, you know, like obviously a coincidence, but it just felt, everyone's like, holy shit. Yeah, that's beautiful. I mean, it's giving me tingles thinking about it now. Yeah, that's amazing. But yeah, thanks. That's a great question.

Thank you, James. Thanks, James. And thanks to Michael, Jacob and Brian. Also, just a little shout out, few brags in there and love to see them. Yeah, that's right. These are absolutely shameless brags. You know, especially in Australia, we're not very good at like talking about good things

that have happened to us. So if you've got something great, go for it. Give us a brag. Love it. Love to hear a brag. Yeah, especially when you're asking for them. When people are wedging them into a conversation. Yeah, it's so interesting.

Sorry you lost your job. Anyway, I... I still have mine and I'm doing quite well. I just into a conversation. Yeah, it's so interesting. Sorry you lost your job. Anyway, I... I still have mine and I'm doing quite well. I just got a promotion. The next thing we'd like to do is thank a few of our great supporters, some of our other supporters who are on the shout-out level or above. These people have been waiting a year or so. We just read these out in order of when people sign up.

Jess, you normally come up with a bit of a game here. That's true. What they invented? Oh, yeah, great. Maybe? So, yeah. Can you just slightly quickly recap Heddy's? It was a...

It was a frequency hopping technology. Yeah. Yeah, I just... I think that's so amazing. But this means we're going to have to think up things. Yeah, but I think that is right in our wheelhouse. We're not the engineers. No, but we can think about...

Ideas people, bloody hell. All right, so if I could... I've got nine here ready because we normally do three each, but I'll do five. How about that? You do four? Okay. So do Hogg.

First, I'd love to thank from Reservoir here in Melbourne, Victoria, Emma Lesk. Oh, Emma Lesk. Because everyone, like on Patreon, you pick your own, it's your username or whatever. So we get some names that, I mean, that might just be their full name. Come up with like a way that you could be, because I'm looking at a whiteboard right now, right?

I'm sitting in a comfortable chair. I'm in a good thinking position. And if I had an idea, I would have to get up. I would have to go over, find a marker, go, this one's dry. I've got to find another one. Call someone, say, where do we keep the whiteboard markers? Then I have to go to the whiteboard. By this time, I've forgotten my idea yeah so mls has actually come up with a way

that uh you can sort of telepathically not telepathically but um you know how like uh stephen hawking had that sort of computer technology where he'd use his eyes uh it's that sort of thing on a whiteboard so you can just sit there note down all your ideas just by looking at the whiteboard yeah fantastic so handy for like you know busy mums as well you know making dinner for the family look at that oh i'm out of garlic yeah and then just look at the little shopping list garlic's added to it okay yeah i think that's great i think that should be pretty easy to do it's good for scientists and busy mums and no one else. We'll get the boffins onto it. Teachers, that'd be really handy.

I mean, I really think there'd be an application for nearly anyone on this. Don't you agree? I reckon just scientists, teachers, busy mums, I think. No, you're right. Now that I think about it. No, dads allowed. Thank you very much, MLS. Yeah, school kids, they have to write lines.

Well, how are they going to work on their penmanship then, Matt? Yeah, that's true. Well, they won't need to anymore. Teachers have done their time. But it's so funny, like, we stick with these things. We don't do that anymore. We don't have to work on our horse and cart skills anymore. Yeah, that's right.

But, you know, we do have to teach the children how to start a fire with just two twigs. I imagine the kids of today, they're never probably going to have to learn how to drive. You know, by the time little kids are 18, it's probably all self-driving cars, right? Kids these days. Oh, my God. Kids never have to learn how to drive a car. Oh, my God, Mum. You're so old school.

You're driving a car. It'll be a hobby thing. I'm going for a drive. Ooh, la-dee-da. A bit of fun. Like people who can still develop film. Yeah. Like, ooh!

Like, you're going into your darkroom. Oh, hello. Hello. Got a whole room just for being, for no lights. Mum's going for a drive, manually. All right, Grandma. I'd also love to thank From Rosetta in Tasmania, Australia. Ooh, that sounds beautiful.

David Loring. David Loring. David Loring invented teleportation. No way. That's so handy. Because, I mean, people have thought of the idea, but he actually made it happen. I feel like the inventions are going to get worse and worse as we go on.

Are you feeling that as well? We've gone big. Yeah, well, I feel like so far they've improved. We went from jotting ideas down to physically moving yourself from one place to another. Yeah, I think it's amazing. I think they're going to get better and better. Okay. We're trending upwards, Bob.

You got so defensive. How dare you? Well, I mean, you actually came up with an idea and I stole like one of the... Well, no, you didn't steal anything. At this stage, it was just a concept. That's right. But David Loring made it a reality. Yeah.

And we thank him for that because the airline industry, they're all gone. Yeah. You've put a lot of people out of work. You've put so many people out of work. Buses, trams, all pointless. Pilots everywhere hate David Loring. But, you know. You're on dartboards in airport lounges around the world.

And they put him on the dartboard just by looking at it. Thank you, David. I'd also love to thank from Brownhill in Victoria, Paige Winkle. Paige Winkle. I've got to say, Paige, that's a fucking great name. Fantastic name. Oh, my God. Paige Winkle.

Brownhill as well. Brownhill fucking great name. Fantastic name. Oh, my God. Paige Winkle. Brown Hill as well. Brown Hill's great. Victoria's great. Everything's... Brown Hill, it's like, how inspired were they when they were naming that town? Brown Hill. Paige Winkle. You got anything here? Because I'm thinking Paige Winkle invented a new sport.

Oh, yeah. It sort of takes the best parts of croquet yes fishing yes hooky that is no that's taking time off school uh hockey hockey what's that game where you throw little rings on oh yeah that's that's like that's also yeah uh and uh snooker whoa and combines all that into a brand new game that is taking the world by storm and it's called and it's called flow you made that noise and then look at me with a look of continue. Like everything was fine.

Noise? I said the name of the sport. Flo Bobo. And you had to say it like that. Yeah, every time. If you say Flo Bobo, people are like, what are you? I'm so sorry. I'm not following you at all.

Great invention. Paige. I'm done, Paige. From Address Unknown, can only assume deep within the fortress of the moles, it is Katie. Katie invented a type of cardboard box that actually... That's a hot start. This is a sexy invention. Cardboard box

Okay It's a type of cardboard box That has the capability To like break itself down Because you know When you're like You're moving into a new place You might get some new furniture

Some flat pack Whatever You end up with just a shit ton Of boxes You're cramming them Into the recycling bin Oh god And it takes forever

And you've got to like Some of them are quite big And you've got to cut them up Into small pieces Or you've got to just Take them to the recycling oh god and it takes forever and you gotta like some of them are quite big and you gotta cut them up into small pieces or you gotta just take them to the tip and it's just annoying these boxes have like a button on them you press that they break themselves down fold themselves up all nice and neat and just off in the recycling and it may seem like a simple thing but i mean the guy who invented the little cardboard holder for a coffee cup is a billionaire this is a great. Billionaire. This is a great box. Billionaire. We all know his name. I'm trying.

You're being so mean to me today. I like how Katie could have invented it so it actually, when you said it broke down, I assumed you meant like into mulch that you put on your garden. That too. That as well. Yeah. So you push a button and it folds down into a little box and then you throw it on the garden.

No, you don't even have to throw it on the garden. It has little legs that come button and it folds down into a little box and then you throw it on the garden. No, you don't even have to throw it on the garden. It has little legs that come up and it goes... It walks to the nearest bit of turf or grass or garden that needs... It finds it, buries itself. It goes, oh, they could use a little nutrient over here. Yeah, nourishes the earth. Yeah. And that is all Katie's work.

Sure, you could press a button and use that box again, but nah. It makes sense that Katie from Deep Within the Fortress of the Moles invented something that does self-bury itself. Exactly right. And finally from me, I'd love to thank from Fremantle, beautiful Fremantle. It's all been Australia so far, if you assume the Fortress of the Moles is in Australia.

I'd love to thank Christy Filipich. Filipich. Christy Filipich. Filipich. Christy Filipich. Oh, I love that. Who invented, you know, horses? Yeah. Well, she invented... Small ones?

No, not small ones, tiny ones. How tiny? How tiny? Like pocket-sized. Horses? Yeah, and you add water to them and they grow. They're not AI, but if you feed them water, they grow to full horse size, but they're in your pocket.

So you ride a robot horse to work and then... How do you make it small to put it back in your pocket? You go, whoa, Nellie. Oh, okay, yeah, that makes it small to put it back in your pocket? You go Whoa Nellie Oh okay yeah that makes it small And then they shrink down So why don't you just say like hi-yah to make it big Well that's a good note That is a good note for Christy

Christy maybe take that on board Because not everyone has water And what happens if it rains? Yeah and then your pockets suddenly explodes That's such a good idea though Yeah it's a great idea. It's just a little... A tweaking.

Only one tweak there that we're suggesting. Maybe just another word cue for it to grow. Every time I water the plants in my house and I'm carrying the watering can through the house, I always, like, mime that I'm watering the dog to make him a big dog. Yeah, well, there you go. Bit of fun.

Maybe that's where Christy got the idea. He's always like, what are you doing? From watching you water your dog. Stop watching me, Christy. But the horse idea, very good. Would you like to thank a few of our great supporters? I would absolutely love to. From Stanmore in New South Wales, I would love to thank Brendan Myhill.

Brendan Myhill. Brendan. What has Brendan Myhill. Brendan. What has Brendan invented? You got something here? Brendan has invented, nah, what I was going to say is essentially a walkie-talkie. Well, yeah, I was thinking the same thing. It's a walkie-talkie for smells. Oh.

So you go, oh, my God, this beautiful scent. So you're going, oh, I really wish someone could smell this beautiful flower. Yeah. So you just walkie-talkie it and you're like, check out the smell. They can also hear. And then, yeah, you just have a sniff. Do you think people would use that for like- It's a walkie-smelly.

Would people? Do you think like siblings for example might use that to trick their siblings into smelling their farts yeah you go hey check out this beautiful smell i just created in the lab and they smell the labs what i call my butt yeah it would be good for like when you're shopping for a new perfume and you want your friend's opinion. What do you think of this one? They'll say, too woody for you. Yeah, that's very woody.

Yeah. And you go, yeah, you're right. I was just letting you smell a tree. Got you. Got you. You passed the test. Well done. Now here's a real scent for you to try. So, Brendan, invention.

Great invention, Brendan. The walkie smelly. The walkie smelly. I would also like to thank from Beaconsfield here in Victoria, Lydia. Lydia. I love the name Lydia. Beaconsfield. That's just outside Melbourne, isn't it?

Yeah. Not too far. Lydia has invented a, you know, like people always like Google their symptoms and stuff. Yeah. Dr. Google. Yeah. Like WebMD and stuff like that. And people are always like google their symptoms and stuff yeah um doctor google yeah like webmd and stuff like that and people always like oh it's i'm dying well lydia has actually invented a testing system it's sort of like it was inspired actually by like rapid tests and stuff and you just you shove it up your nose and it just tells you everything what's wrong with you that's so good that's doctor's hater oh that's amazing lydia i reckon yeah i i felt like that was good that feels like the future right but the future is today because of lydia's invention exactly right elizabeth

holmes tried to do like blood those tiny little buttons no lydia's like step aside and you wear like your your watch yeah and it just gives you a reading. And so it catches cancer straight away. It catches, you go, oh, you're a bit low on vitamin D or you need a bit more calcium or whatever. And it tells you exactly what you're missing or what you need or what's happening with your body. That's amazing, Lydia. That's going to save lives.

A very commendable invention. Well done. Yeah, Brendan feels silly for the walkie-smelly now, but... But, you know... There's something for everyone. Lydia did get to her lab that day by catching her horse. So... So there you go.

And I would also love to thank... Next, I would love to thank from quebec in canada sam sutherland sam sutherland uh sam invented the uh vegetable pig so yeah you know so vegetarians vegans etc some of them Some of them miss meat. Some of them would love to eat meat. People say, I could go vegetarian if it wasn't for bacon, they say. People say that all the time. So, what Sam has done, he's... Well, she has got the technology now to make vegetables sentient.

to make vegetables, uh, sentient. So they, they feel, they think they have emotions, but also, uh, has been able to make them in the shape and taste and smell like pigs.

That's incredible. They're basically, they're basically pigs in every way. Yeah. Apart from their, they don't have organs and stuff. Yeah. Right.

So people who, so people who, who miss me, organs and stuff. Yeah, right. So people who... So people who... Who miss meat. Who miss meat and are only vegetarian or vegan because they're grossed out by organs, they don't care about killing things with feelings. Yeah, it's fine.

So it's a small market, but there is a market there. There's a gap in that market. Sam's found that gap so it's for vegetarians vegans does it taste like pig tastes like pig so they miss that taste they miss the taste they also don't care about killing well they actually they miss the idea that uh their food costs a lot yeah okay so it's not even that they don't mind it They actually crave They're just a bit grossed out by organs Yeah, I get that

So this is the perfect middle ground I think I might be in that group actually, yeah I do miss that most of my food just comes from stuff that's grown in the ground I know, I mean, this helps prove that vegetables can feel and think So really That's incredible That's a beautiful invention uh really really creating a freak of nature here and you know and then that that provides more jobs

doesn't it more farmers out there with their vegetable pigs yeah yeah they're a low cost kind of yeah they don't have to they don't eat um so you so you don't need big paddocks and stuff yeah so you can factory farm them yeah it's awful for them they don't feel good the pigs uh have a horrific time so sound like honestly sam i don't know it's mixed yeah a mixed sort of result with i love what you're going for, though. But again, that's what good business is about, is finding those niche gaps in the market and being the only one to fill them. Yeah, that's right.

So thank you, Sam. And the world thanks you. Yeah. And finally, I would love to thank from Williamsport in PA, Pennsylvania. Yeah, go Penguins. I would love to thank Andrew Shuler. Or go Flyers, depending on where in Pennsylvania you are. I got caught up on that out on that ages ago.

Whenever Pennsylvania came up, I'd always say, go Penguins. Someone's like, if you're closer to Philadelphia, you'll actually go for the Flyers. And that's, they're our arch enemies. So I'm like, fuck. Sorry. Sorry. What a faux pas.

That's embarrassing for you. Go faux pas. What has Andrew invented? All right, this is the last one. Let's come up with it together. So I'll give you the overall thing and then you sort of zone in on it. Okay.

It is new technology with a microchip that allows you to feel... Love. Oh, my God. Yeah. This is a big one. This is actually really big. I've been wondering, what is love?

What is love? For so long. And so many people like you, Matt, have been. Have been wondering, what is love? What is love? And for so many... I ask you that mainly off pod. Yeah. People probably haven't heard, but I ask you that all the time. All the time. Jess, what is love? What is love? And for so many... I ask you that mainly off pod. Yeah.

People probably haven't heard, but I ask you that all the time. All the time. Jess, what is love? And I say, Matt, not now. I don't know how to explain it to you. I don't know how to explain this feeling. Yeah. And now...

Because you love love, don't you? Oh, God, I love love. You're one of the biggest love lovers I know. Yeah, I'd say that's about true. And I'm like, what is it? What does that even mean? How do you love love? Yeah.

What is love to love? Yeah. I want to love to love. Yeah. I love the idea of loving to love, but I don't even know what that means. I know. I know. Well, you've got to get onto Andrew's new technology.

It is incredibly expensive. But for so many people who never quite find love or, you know, too career focused, get to the end of their lives and realise they have nothing. And the work won't be there with them on their deathbed. They're the only people who can afford this invention. Exactly right. You've got to have worked for a very long time in a high paying job. And yeah, it'll allow you to feel love for up to five minutes.

It's crazy. It's so good. Andrew, you're doing God's work. I'm kidding. Can I get a sample, Andrew? Please. Please. He needs this. It's so good. Andrew, you're doing God's work. I'm kidding. Can I get a sample, Andrew? Please. Please. He needs this.

Send me the chip. Thank you so much. Thank you, Andrew, Sam, Lydia, Brendan, Christy, Katie, Paige, David, and MLSK. I reckon that's the most Aussies we've had. Yeah, that was huge. Brings a tear to my eye. It's gorgeous. God bless Australia and Quebec and Pennsylvania.

We are good. We are good. We are good. We are good. And we are good. But honestly, like, we are good, aren't we? We are so freaking good. We are so freaking good. We We are so freaking Gert.

We couldn't get any more Gert. And people not in Australia are like, what are they talking about? It's one of the key lines in our national anthem. We're Gert by sea, okay? We are so fucking Gert right now. All right. Well, that brings us to the final thing we'd like to do. We thank a few of our long-term supporters.

They're welcomed into the triptych club these are people who've been on the shout out level or above for three straight years uh bop you're normally serving a drink in this club yeah i'm standing on the door i'm the doorman i'm opening up the velvet rope i've got the door so i'm going to welcome these people in once they come in they'll grab a drink off you at the bar what what are you serving up today what's the heady lamar austria is known for uh red and white wine although white wine is more commonly known uh and uh so maybe a riesling or riesling yeah a riesling is the cocktail oh that's fantastic and uh dave normally books a band. Do you have a band? Oh. What about the Future Heads?

Oh, that's good. The Future Heads who are a band. I can't... I think they had a Triple J hit back in the day. I can't remember what it was. But they had a great Christmas song called Christmas Was Better in the 80s. There is a band from Sydney called Hedy Lamarr,

and they're an angry girl band of your dreams, echoing letters to Cleo with B-52 harmonies. Oh, that sounds great. That sounds great. Let's get them on board. All right. Future heads, you got the flick. Get out of here.

So Hedy Lamarr's playing Grab Yourself a Riesling. Now, I'm going to welcome, there's four names today. Dave normally is the hype man. Jess? I'm going to have to hype. You're up for the hype position. But I don't want any of your classic negativity about my hyping. No, no, I'm going to step in your role and boost you up.

You're going to hype me? Yeah. Okay. All right, so let's do it. These are the four. This is the big finish of the show. First up, I'd love to thank from Aberdeen in Scotland, it's Andrew McLeod. The best dancer I've ever seen.

Yes, Jess, you are naming this so much better than Dave. From Reynoldsburg in Ohio, God's country in the United States, it's Jared Schaefer. Jared Schaefer is here. Yes, Bob, yes, you're doing it. How does they do this? And from Gainesville in Florida in the United States, it's Linda Moulton.

Oh, it's that molten lava. It's hot in here. No Lindas here. And finally, from Warrington in Virginia in the United States, it's Taylor Edgar. From Warrington, I'm Warrington for nothing because Taylor's here. Jared Schaefer really got hard done by in that whole thing. Can you think of anything for Jared Schaefer? Jared Schaefer from Reynoldsburg in Ohio.

Ohio, my lord. Yes. Oh, my goodness, oh. I'm so happy. Oh, hi, oh, my Lord. Yes. Oh, my goodness, oh. I'm so happy. Jared Schaefer, you are making me, I'll never be late for you because you're always the first thing on my to-do list. Yes. No, that's fine, that's fine.

Like my calling, Jared, would be the first thing. Yes, that's right. Yes, Matt. Thank you, Taylor, Linda, Jared, and Andrew. Welcome into the club, make. Thank you, Taylor, Linda, Jared and Andrew. Welcome into the club. Make yourselves at home and enjoy a Riesling and the great angry music of Hedy Lamarr. That brings us to the end of the episode. Bop, anything we need to say before we move on?

Just to remind people again. With our lives. With our lives. Just to remind people again that we are doing our quiz show at the Melbourne Comedy Festival and also alongside that we are doing four live podcasts in Melbourne, Sunday the 3rd of April, 10th of April, 17th of April, 24th of April, 8.45, the European Beer Cafe.

They're always such a good time and we would absolutely love to see you there. So grab your tickets and secure your place. Yeah. So grab your tickets and secure your place. Yeah. At least one or two of the shows will have some of your favorite guest hosts from over the years, maybe fifth and sixth Beatle type people. Maybe.

We don't know. We can't say. We'll see. But thanks so much for listening again. And yeah, we'll catch you next week. Dave will be back. It'll be the classic three back in your feed once more

until then I will say later bye We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.