Do Go On - 333 - Hedy Lamarr ; Hollywood icon & inventor

Episode Date: March 9, 2022

Cass Paige joins Do Go On this week, as we hear the story of Hollywood icon and noted 'bombshell', Hedy Lamarr. But her stunning looks get in the way of her true passion - inventing.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPodBuy tickets to our four live podcasts in Melbourne, Sundays in April at 8:45pm at the European Bier Cafe:https://www.trybooking.com/BXSIV  Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicSee us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/the-quiz-show See Matt and Alasdair at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/honk-honk-hubba-hubba-ring-a-ding-ding Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://hedylamarr.com/https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smithsonian-institution/thank-world-war-ii-era-film-star-your-wi-fi-180971584/https://www.afr.com/companies/the-brighter-side-of-hedy-lamarr-19900518-kaml8https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedy_LamarrBombshell : The Hedy Lamarr Story Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Welcome to Do Go On the podcast where we do go on. I'm your host, Matt Schoen. With me, as always, is Jess Perkins. Hello, Matt.

Hey Jess, so good to be with you here today. You nailed that. Thank you so much. It's been a little while since we've recorded. It has. And I don't normally do that bit. Dave does, but he's not here. He's away and he won't tell us where.

But that's okay. He says he'll be back next week and we look forward to seeing him. But in his stead, we have the very fantastic. Maybe, am I going too far to say the best in the biz? That's not too far at all. From Sanspance Radio. It's Cass Page. Oh, it is very good to be with you here today as well.

Thanks so much for being in Dave's stead. If I'm using that term correctly. It feels like pie. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you've filled in for Jess a few times last month. So you're becoming the fifth beetle here. Oh, yes.

Maybe even the sixth beetle. I think Nick Mason claims fifth beetle status. Who's the fourth beetle? That's Ringo. Sucked in. Before we get stuck into the episode, we should tell people that we're doing some live podcasts at the, or not at the,

but next to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in March and April at the European Beer Cafe Sunday nights. And you should come along. You should. You absolutely should. Probably good if you do, actually. Yeah, I think it would be fantastic. I insist that you do.

So how about that? You get rid of your Sunday Scaries. That's a phenomenal I've learned about recently. Do you guys get the Sunday Scaries? I did as a kid. School gave me that I hated. I don't know what it is. But I did hate Sundays as a kid because of school, I think.

Yeah, look, I've only ever seen it written down as Sunday Scary. So I think you're right. I remember everything about Sunday nights was so depressing. So I hated for a lot. time I hated Poirot type shows because that'd be on, you know, those Sunday night ABC shows. Oh, yeah. And now I kind of like them. They're comforting.

But back then, I'm like, these are so fucking depressing. But yeah, is that, sorry, is that what you, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So if you get the Sunday scary is the thing I just learned about, this is how to get rid of them. It's actually a cure. Yeah. You won't get the sun, you'll get the Sundays comfortables. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. If you come to the live shows. Yeah, absolutely. Maybe you should come and do one of our, live shows cast i'll talk to you about that off here yeah put it on the spot i've been quiet this whole time because i've been trying to find the link so i could tell you the dates because i did not know um it's all through april sunday the third of april through till sunday the 24th um at what time is it i think it's eight forty five nine forty five nine forty five no it ends at nine forty five

eight forty five yes you're absolutely right i just read the last number this is why we let dave do a lot of this housekeeping stuff. I reckon that's what people are there looking up. The tickets are like, I'm keen to go 945. Not for me. Not for me. It is. I don't get the Sunday scaries just to come back to that because Sundays are my Friday.

Monday, Tuesdays are my weekend. So Sunday's for me, beautiful day. Love them. Big fan. Love a Sunday. I love a Sunday as well. Always been a fan. Really?

Yeah, that's great. I think the vibe, I think the thing that is scary for some people, I think the vibe is nice. Yes. I think sometimes I've recently had to do a thing where I make rest a thing I have to do. Yes. So then after I've rested, I feel very productive, and it's tricked me into being able to take the appropriate amount of rest. And then on Sunday,

I'm like, oh, God, oh, got a lot of rest that day. Yeah. Oh, I nailed it. Yeah. Look how productive I was. I got so much rest. I didn't move from my bed for four straight hours. God. Just looking at TikToks. Look at me go. Think of the recuperation. Brain off. Body healing. That's important.

I think that's actually a smart way to do it. It's just sort of fat, he's like, schedule in rest time. It feels better than usual because you're like time to rest. Today is a rest day and then every time you like, I don't know, take a small pleasure in a slow cup of tea, you're like, oh fuck, I'm doing it. Yeah.

Let me go. Oh God. I'm just being so hard right now. Unstartable. Removing the guilt of rest. Yeah. Gameify rest. That's good.

I just mentioned TikTok. I'm on TikTok now. Yes, you are. Trying to do one a day. It's hard and I'm running out of ideas. That's so many. Is it too many, Cass? You can tell him if it's too many.

If you have a look, you'll see the quality ebbs and flows. I'm going to have a look. I'm going to check it. I don't think it's too many, like from a consumer standpoint, but from having to do... Another minute of Matt? I can't handle this. No, I think it's good.

Probably every day like, oh, yes, it's Matt time. Yeah. If I were you, I would be like, oh, God, another? Yeah. Yeah, it will become a burden and I'll stop doing it soon. But while we're plugging, Comedy Festival, Alastair Trombie

and I are doing a show called Hong Kong, Haba Haba, Ringer-Ding, ding. And it's on the second half of the festival

and you can get tickets. There'll be links to all this stuff in the show notes. Come to both our podcast and my show

and you can also come, we're doing a quiz show as well which you can come to on Sunday nights. Monday nights. Monday nights.

You can trip be yourself. Come to all three, yeah. Do the trip. Yeah. I think also, I think 9.45 I finish time is really nice because sometimes what I like to do is if something's on a bit late at night

is I'll brush my teeth before I leave and I'll wear the pajamoreous clothes I can. So then like as soon as you leave, you go home and you like just enter bed straight away. Oh my God, that is so smart. Oh my God. Brush your teeth before you leave the house and then as soon as and it just makes, you know, when you get to the end of night, you're like, oh, okay, go to drive home and whatever. It gets rid of all of the feeling of I have to go to bed because you are ready. Yeah, that's true.

It's all just nighttime routine. The only problem is beer tastes weird after brushing your teeth. But apart from that, I think that's fantastic. Oh, yeah. See, in this scenario, I'd just drink water or like a peppermint tea and just, and then it's like my little secret for the night. I'm like, my pajamas are under my clothes. I'm like, oh, no one.

No one ever knows. These suckers. I'm so cheeky. I don't even know how close to bed I am. I'm in a room of fools. They have no idea my night cream is on. That is so good. I've learned so much from you already today.

We're very wise, cast. minutes in and I'm like oh these are so many good ideas hey Jess Cass hasn't done the show for a few weeks now do you reckon you could explain the concept of her and any new listeners absolutely I mean we also haven't um technically recorded for a while so it'd be a nice refresher for us too what we do is one of the three of us goes away research is a topic comes back tells the other two all about it who um politely interrupt go on tangents and um just generally fuck around a bit always respectfully oh it's a respectful fucker

Yeah. Beautiful. That's the do-go-one motto. Oh, that would be a fun neon sign. Respectable fuck-around. And we always start with a question. Respectable reach-around. Oh, boy.

That's different. That's different. It's close but different. Isn't that language of English fun? Isn't it beautiful? Like the difference between a boob job and a tit job. Yeah. So similar.

On paper. On paper. But very different. Really different. And it's important to. to specify which one you are requesting. I feel so bad for anyone who's English is second or third. One tip job, please.

That felt good. So we always start with the question, and my question is convoluted, to be honest. Which Hollywood star made her name in a film named after an illicit drug? I feel like you're not going to know who this person is. So... Let's go through some drugs.

Molly Molly Ringwald No No the film's named after That's right Okay I imagine she was named after a drug Um

Ecstasy Is there a movie called ecstasy Yes Yes Oh And we've heard We haven't heard of this actor So that's gonna be hard to guess

I don't think so But she's like a She's a Hollywood classic Like she's She's one of the stars Of like the 30s and 40s Oh

Betty Davis Reader Haywood No You're thinking like the right kind of thing. Gene Kelly. First name Hedy. Hedy Lema.

Hedy Lamar. That's right. Oh, that's sick. That's fun. She's had a really interesting life and she's been suggested by so many people. Like 20 people or something in the hat have suggested the life of Hedy Lamar. So those people have suggested it. Alan, Peter Kay, Anna Cox, Emily Denzel, Katrina, Sophie, Brandy, Lauren, Jess, Ruby,

Grace, Maddie, Ari Katz, Emily Good. All those people have suggested the life of Hetty Lamar. Emily Good, Emily Good. She's Emily Good. Emily Good. Emily good. She's Emily Good. Do you know much? I mean, you knew the name.

Do you know much about Hetty Lamar? I mean, you were alive at the time. Yeah, yeah. I spent some time with Hetty. The phrase Hetty days, that was after her. Oh, they were Hetty days. They were just like, yeah, some people for a little bit of, while said Lamari days, but Hetty took off more.

Yeah, no, I know that she was a badass. She was like a multi-threat. Yeah, absolutely. It's not just an acting story. She did some pretty interesting other things, which I can hardly remember. Yeah. Cass, is it a name that rings a bell for you at all?

Yeah, it's just a little tinkle in the back of my mind. The name is very familiar, and I think it's a very cool name. It's such a good name. Well, her, like, birth name is, Headwig, Eva, Maria Kaisler. Kaisler? Yeah. Headwig.

Headwig. At first, headwig I ever heard of. Harry Potter's Al. This is only the second headwig. No. That's Hagrid. Headwig is. I mean, you got all the names in the world.

J.K. Potter? J.K. Rolling. Why are you picking Headwig and Hagwig? Haggret. Oh, okay. Well, that's pretty good. That's different enough, I guess. A lot of people I knew growing up had never read the name Hermione before,

so everyone called her Hermion. 100% may as well. I was a Hermione. I did not know the name Hermione. No, and I wasn't going to learn. No, God, no. I've never heard of another Hermione. It sounds like she opened the big book of names and landed on page H.

And she said, that'll do. That'll do. I'll have a look around here. Harry, oh my God, there's another one. There's so many. Who does he play? Hon Heasley. Hon Heasley.

Professor Humboldt. Hayco Mal Hoy. Hobby. I love hobby. Hobby the house elf. That's right. So yeah, Hedwig Iba Maria Kaisler.

She was born in Vienna in 1914, the only child of Gertrude and Emil Kaisler. As a child, she was interested in two different hobbies, not the elf. Both of which were a little unusual for the time. She was fascinated by gadgets, and at the age of five she pulled apart a music box and put it back together just to see how it worked.

And she was also interested in acting and was fascinated by theatre and film. Throughout her life she would pursue both these interests, but the praise and attention would always be focused on just one. So her parents were fairly wealthy. They lived in like, what was described as like the really cultured and arty kind of area of Vienna. It was like a very cool kind of neighbourhood. They took their daughter to the opera, the theatre, to art gallery. At school, she excelled in science, particularly chemistry,

and film historian Janine Basinger said, In a different era, she may very well have become a scientist. At the very least, it was an option that was derailed by her beauty. Yeah. Too distracting for the other scientists. Been there, right? Too sexy for the lab. We've all been there, right?

The rats just won't, you know. How do you do A-B testing when the rats are looking at you all the time? Just staring at you, like, panting. Was it a rat pet? Yeah. It's weird. I mean, I have. That's why I don't do science.

I know. Your science days, people are like, can you take that lab coat off? You cover it up a little too much. I know. It's not fair because you just wanted to do science. Yeah, I just wanted a science. I know. I'm sorry, buddy.

I missed the year. What era are we talking here? She was born in 1914. 1914? Good honor. Yeah. Good honor, I reckon. Yeah.

Well done. I love that it's been worded that her interests were acting, you know. hobby and career and gadgets yeah i know would it be is that i don't know is that engineering or something yeah i guess so yeah she was like very interesting like how things worked her father was like um in a nice twist on a hollywood classic story her dad's actually a lovely man parents are really lovely she has a great relationship with their parents she's treated well um you know you don't hear that a lot with the um the hollywood icons it's usually oh dad terrible person but her dad was lovely and he um Like they'd go for walks together and he would sort of be pointing out things around and like how and explaining how those things work.

There's a tree. Yeah. It grows from the ground. It's crazy. It's got like roots in it. She's got the notepad out. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

It looks the same up top as it does down below, but smaller. Whoa. Pretty crazy. Anyway, that's a traffic light. I don't know how that works. So yeah, so she was sort of interested in like the science, how things worked, engineering, I suppose. And also the theatre. So yeah, something that was basically that happened for her whole life.

Her beauty gets in the way of her potential in other areas. And it means that her achievements are brushed over and the focus is always on her looks. Oh my God. Kindred spirit. I know. This is why I chose it. I knew you would like relate to this. Just why can't people focus on my achievements?

Yeah. And you have so many. Yes. And yes, you're gorgeous. Yeah, which is fine, but not my value. Exactly. Can I say that? Absolutely.

Of course. And yeah, for any, for any, beautiful people listening. Which is all of you? All of you. It's fine to be beautiful. It's so okay. Don't feel bad about being drop dead gorgeous.

The world's changing. There's a space for you. There's space for us. Make space for us. Beauty. Yeah, we say that from within that space. We say, hey, come into the space of the beautiful people. Yeah, well, we're allowed to talk about it.

Exactly right. Yeah. And so we want to include others and say, hey, it's okay to be beautiful and you don't have to be ashamed of that. It's not your value still, but it's definitely adds to your value. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We're better than other people.

Yeah. We're better than the Argos. But I'm just sick of, it's all people want to hear. I've got other interests. It's so hard because it's like, these are my interests. These are what I put effort into every day. And I can't help being stunning. Yeah.

Like, there's nothing I can do about that. I wake up and I'm like, oh, fuck, stunning again. I try not to do my hair and it falls perfectly. Yeah. Like, what about, I can't put more effort than I do into my hobbies. I know. Into being approachable. Exactly.

Like, what, you have to dull your shirt. shine for other people? I've tried. I've rubbed myself a dog shit. People are like, oh, that's a beautiful scent. Where can I get it? It looks great on you. Thank you.

You wear it well. Damn it. I could never. That's what they say. That's what they say. They all say that. So at the age of 12, she won a beauty contest in Vienna. And by her mid-teens...

Just by walking past. Yeah, they just saw her and was like, you win. By her mid-teen, she was taking acting classes. and one day she forged a note from her mother and went to Sasha Film. It was the largest film production company and she was able to get herself hired as a script girl, which today would be called a script supervisor. But back then, script girl. They realized it required skills, so girls couldn't do it anymore.

Oh, we've got to call this a supervisor. Because some boys were like, I actually wouldn't mind being a script girl. Within no time she was being used as an extroon films, like 1930s, money on the street. I love, I, she's been in so many films, and I won't read every single film title, but I love old and day film titles. And I know that film titles of today

will sound ridiculous in the future, but back then they were fun, they had some good titles, you know? Snakes on a plane, but it sounds normal now. No time to die is going to sound kind of funny. It already does sound a bit funny. All the bon ones are confusing.

They have to think about them so many times to understand what the fuck they're talking about. What are you mean by that? Casino Royale? What does that mean? Click the code, please. She had a small speaking part in 1931's Storm in a Waterglass. Oh, that's, I love that.

That's a good one. I like that very much. Next, she took to the stage after producer Max Reinhart, then cast her in a play entitled The Weaker Sex. Bit of fun. I wonder that was about... Guys have copped it for so long, So that was a movie about men.

Yeah. Well, I mean, look. Look at those tiny little arms you got. Bad example. A smaller weaker brain? What should I say is weaker? In men. Yeah.

Hips couldn't bear another body. Oh my God, yeah. So I'm so glad you thought of something. I was battling. There's nothing like another. So strong. I'm trying to be funny and fun, but I honestly, I honestly can't think of anything men are worse at than women.

I'd love to as a feminist. I know you would, I know. The thing that I want to do more than anything is lift you up, but... And it's... That would be so easy to do. I couldn't lift us up. Oh, no. These tiny little arms.

No, I'm so... Twinkie. Reinhardt was so impressed with her that he brought her with him back to Berlin with promises of training and roles in his productions. Sounds normal. Was she 12? She's like, by this time she's maybe 16. No, normal. Normal stuff. Normal stuff.

Back then, 16 was like 102. It's the 30s, you know? They didn't live long. You've got to just get into life. You know what I mean? You just got to get on a plane with a man. Get on a plane with a man. Go to a different country.

He's going to train you. He's going to put you in his plays. Yeah, and you should always believe a stranger. What more would you want? But that didn't even really happen. Instead, she did go with him to Berlin, but she met a Russian theatre producer named Alexis Grinovsky, who cast her in his film directorial

debut, The Trunks of Mr. O.F. Yeah. Oh. The Trunks of Mr. O.F. Came out in 1931. Trunks was in bathers. Hard to say. Didn't look up the synopsis of that one.

Hmm. Or is Mr. O.F. an elephant. Or a tree. Double-headed elephant. Oh, yeah, it could be a tree. I reckon it's probably a tree. Yeah. Double-headed tree.

If it's underwear and he's Mr. Onlyfans and he was who invented it? Oh, that actually makes more sense. Yeah. That actually makes way more sense. Yeah, that's got to be it. It's got to be underwear, Mr. Only Fans. It's the invention of Only Fans. The movie titles are so long back then,

but they're abbreviating the name to OF. The Trunks of Mr. Oliver Finch, you know, like whatever. The fantabulous trunks. The next year she was given the lead role in a comedy called No Money Needed. It's a bit of fun. But the role that really put her on the map was in 1933, when 18-year-old Hetty was given the lead role in the original. romantic drama film, Ecstasy.

The film is about a young woman who marries a wealthy but much older man. After abandoning her brief, passionless marriage, she meets a young engineer who becomes her lover. It's one of the first non-pornographic movies to portray sexual intercourse and female orgasm, although never showing more than the actor's faces, but that was enough back then to ruffle some feathers. That's big. Yeah. They showed faces.

Oh, my God. I'm getting a little hot under the color. thinking about faces. It was essentially shots of like, and she, and I think I talk about it later anyway, but she's, she's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's not an actual sex scene, but it's kind of implied and back then that was enough for it to be too scandalous. Is Mr. O-F, like, like the O face? I guess so, yeah, yeah.

Wow. Oh, fuck. It's probably that, I think. Mr. Oh, fuck, yeah. That's Australian's absolutely. six. Okay, don't mock our culture.

Oh, yeah, fuck you. Yeah, that's it. Oh, Matt, please, we're at work.

That's what is rooting here. So if you're an international listener, if you hear someone talking about rooting, that's what it is. That's our cultural practice. Yeah. And it's a beautiful thing. Oh, yeah,

you're so good at rooting. Oh, yeah, root me so good. Yeah, root me right there. That's it. That's what's supposed to root me in. I'll spoof. Okay.

I don't think I've ever heard anybody use spoof as in the act of coming. The verbs. Yeah, you know, it's always just been the... Keep rooting me. I'm so close to doing a spoof. That's more what you would say. Yeah, that's more what I'm used to.

Anyway, yeah, apparently I read a bit of the synopsis of, the film of ecstasy. She marries his older guy and then they don't consummate the marriage and he just he doesn't have sex with her and she's like well fuck you then and so she she leaves. So it was the film was controversial in some countries because of the scenes in which Lamar is running and swimming naked and the orgasm scene which again is not an orgasm scene by today's standards it's a woman's face but that was enough.

Anyway I should say as well by this time at this time she being credited as I think just Hedy Kaisler. Lamar comes later. After a Vatican journalist attended screening at Venice Film Festival, Pope Pius, fuck, should have looked it up, what's X-I? 11. Oh, thank you. Pope Pied 11 denounced the film in the Vatican newspaper,

and as a result, none of the Italian distributors bought the rights for distribution. In Germany, the film was banned, and only released in 1935 with edited scenes. So it was like, it was big. The film and the controversy surrounding it made Hetty an international household name almost overnight. And not necessarily in a good way. It was more infamous, I think.

Yeah. But she was definitely then known. It's bad influence on the children, that sort of stuff. Yeah, I don't know. Like, yeah. Yeah, don't talk about how we make children, but, oh, you know, you can't have any of that. Yeah. Frustratingly, Hedy said that the sex scenes in the film were scenes she filmed alone, like I was saying before.

and it was cut to portray an implied sex scene. But then, and same with some of like the nude scenes where she's sort of like she's swimming in a river or lake or something and then she's running through, you know, the wilderness kind of. She's running and she's naked. She says she was told that they were using like a long lens and it would be like you wouldn't see anything and that she sort of felt quite pressured into it. I believe that she felt quite pressured into it,

but a lot of other people who had turned down the role said there's no way she would have taken the role and accepted it not knowing that. Like it was very clear from the beginning that there would be nudity. And so they're sort of like, you knew. But at the same time, she was young and felt pretty pressured into it, which isn't good. Yeah, right. So they're only showing the face and sex scenes, but there's full nudity elsewhere. Yeah, I think so. I don't know if it's like full frontal.

I think she's, I think you see a bit of butt. Oh, my God. Don't tell me they're showing ankle Yeah, it's pretty scandalous I can see if you read somewhere That there's going to be nudity in the film And then if she was seriously considering the role Asking about it, they're like, oh, from far away

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So it's a bit of it, it's obviously, it's still not okay If she feels like she was pressured into, you know If she thought she was going into one thing And then it turned out not to be that Yeah, absolutely So she returned to Vienna The cameraman's like standing right on her

I thought this was... No, no, no, babe, it's a very wide lens. It's a wide lens. This looks like... This is how it works. This looks like I'm over there. Honestly, I... This lens is actually getting stuff happening back here.

It's crazy. Honestly. I'm actually in this shot. Yeah. And I'm behind the camera. These cameras are so good. It's the 30s, babe. Things are actually pretty good.

Come on, babe. You love gadgets. It's almost the 30s again. Ooh. Bring back nudity on the screen. Do you think? Yeah, I think it's time. Yeah.

Not just yet. We'll wait till 33. Yeah, we've got... 11 years. And then, nudity. Yeah. Every movie. Everyone naked.

So she returns to Vienna, her reputation not so desirable at this point, and much to the anger of her father for the role she played as well, he was pretty disappointed in her. Her first thought was not humiliation or sadness, but determination. She said to herself, well, I'll show them. Which I think is kind of cool. She already did. That's like, look, no, you've already shown me enough. Well, I'll show them.

No, I'd rather you didn't. I'd rather you didn't show them. That's how we got into this mess. So she just got back to work. She won praise and accolades from critics for her performance in a play about Empress Elizabeth of Austria. I've read that the play was called Sissy, but Hetty herself referred to the play as being called Elizabeth of Austria.

But regardless, it was a play that was very well received. She had standing ovations and stuff. People, critics loved her. It was a big success for the play and for Hedy herself. Admirers sent roses to her dressing room and audiences gave standing ovations at the end of the play. One particularly persistent admirer was a man named Frederick or Fritz Mandel. He was an Austrian military arms merchant and munitions manufacturer who was reputedly the third richest man in Austria.

He was 14 years her senior and did not want. win the approval of Heddy's parents because of his ties to Italian fascist leader Benito Mussolini and later German Fuhrer Adolf Hitler. Sounds like a real catch this guy. But Hedy was headstrong and she was like, whatever, mum and dad, I'm going to marry him, which is exactly what she did in 1933. The couple lived in a castle in Vienna. Oh.

Okay. See what she sees. Like she's not seeing any sort of like archvillian. sort of vibes living in a castle. His mates with Mussolini and Hitler. I guess they probably weren't the seen as Mussolini and Hitler as we see him now yet in the early 30s. But still, they probably were shown some tendencies off the bat.

I'm going to say not great guys. Red flags, at least. Big time, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, they lived in their castle in Vienna and Hetty served as an arm piece for her husband, essentially. She was a trophy wife. He was an arms dealer. Yeah, and she was an aisle in peace.

Yeah, so they would, like, host banquets and lavish parties for the Italian and German dictators. Some people said, like, no, Hitler was never there, but mostly, he definitely was. This is, like, very quickly changed the vibe how I've seen her so far. It's going to change a few more times. Okay. Oh, I love a few flips and flops. It's kind of crazy. It says a lot about Mandel's campaign.

character that both his father and Hedy's parents were from Jewish families, yet he continued to rub shoulders and sell weapons to the Nazis. Hedy had to accompany her husband to business meetings, events, parties, and was essentially just there to be beautiful. Not surprisingly, she was bored out of her mind. She was a very intelligent woman, but, like, she was, everybody who met her and describes her is like, she would walk into a room and everybody would stare at her. Like, she was stunning.

Right. Which is... Looking at a photo over now, can you see that? Because times change. I know. Times change and like different fashions and stuff changed. There's a few... Oh, she is...

She's gorgeous. She's stunning and like the little clips I've seen of her acting and stuff. She's quite captivating. I get it... I remember watching Breakfast at Tiffany's and being like, oh, I get the Audrey Hepburn thing. Like, she's captivating. So she's really, really beautiful.

But it's very funny because especially early on, like the fashion at the time was super thin. eyebrows that didn't quite sit where eyebrows should and they also went like too long down the side of the face and that's all I could focus on in those early shots I was like ah what's going on there so I couldn't tell for a while but once they sorted out the eyebrows thing I'm like yeah you're beautiful so her marriage to fritz was a fairly toxic one she found him to be controlling and prevented her from pursuing her acting career and she's only 18 at the time like she's her acting careers only just started wait wait the guy who's friends with the hit little

when Mussolini was controlling. I know. That's so weird. How could you keep known? There's no way. I know. And back then you didn't date for as long. You didn't live together first.

You know, you don't get as many chances to see these red flags, like from the guy who sells weapons to Hitler. You just don't know. He was extremely unhappy about the simulated sex scene in ecstasy and reportedly spent $280,000, which is about $4.5 million now. in an unsuccessful attempt to suppress the film by purchasing every existing print.

He tried to buy every copy of the film so that nobody would see it. Oh my. Four and a half million dollars. That's, uh, that's pretty weird. Yeah, it's super weird. I love, I love you for your acting and everything you do and your talent. Yeah. But I don't want anyone else to see it.

I want to see that talent. Yeah, that's actually for me only. Also, have a lot of money from the royalties, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, very, very strange. Four and a half million dollars to suppress her work. It didn't work either like... Where did he keep them? Yeah, that's a good point.

Because that's a physical copy back in the day. He's got a castle. He's got a castle. Oh, yeah. Surely he's got a few rooms. He's got the born-home rooms. Yeah, he's got a few spare rooms. He could just stack him up.

So were they together when that film was made? No, no, no, no. So it all happened very quickly. And then he's like, oh, wait. Hang on a second. No one else is allowed to look. I'm inventing NFD. That's my ankle.

Yeah, he essentially, like, she was on his radar when she was in the play and was getting a lot of praise and attention, which wasn't long after the film. But yeah, it all happens very, very quickly. You know, there was no, it was short courtships back then. The 13 year age difference is a lot bigger when, I didn't realize she was 18 still. Yeah, and he's in his 30s.

It's basically double her age. It's weird. I mean, math, that's not quite right, math-wise. but basically double. Basically double. Basically triple, actually, if you think about it. He was immensely jealous and possessive of his wife. I'm starting to turn on this guy.

Do you reckon? Yeah. Well, hang on. He might just quit you over. He definitely was. A piece of shit. Eventually, he barely even allowed her to be in the room with other men because she was so beautiful and she would be looked at.

Yeah. So it's like you marry her to be beautiful. next to you so other people are looking at you and going wow he's got a beautiful wife and then you're like hang on a second she's too beautiful. Tote down some of that beauty everyone's looking at you. That was the point. That was the point. It might be some underlying issues with Fritz.

Yeah. That reminds me of have you seen people online talk about how the phenomenon, I don't know if it's super common, but like a guy will like be really attracted to a girl who like is going through a ho face and like dressing real provocatively and having the best time of her life? and then they get together and he's like, you can't dress like that anymore. She's like, but... Yeah.

I thought you liked me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean I can't dress like that? That was me. And that's what you liked. And now I'm not allowed to. I did see a great tweet. It was like, yeah, I don't mind if my girl dressed like a ho.

That's why I like her. She's a ho. I knew that when I met her. I love her. Yeah. Very supportive and beautiful, but yeah. Those are the same kind of guys that then, go like, well, you can't dress like that, the thing that attracted me to you.

Oh, yeah. But now that you're dressing down, you're kind of gross to me. What's it? Explain, explain what you did. You did something wrong. You look yucky. Yeah. Why don't why fuck that? Yucky.

Why now that I've asked you to dress all modest, you're reminding me of my mom. Yeah. And now you should do my dishes. Yeah. Thoughts. Thoughts about relationship, transitions. I'm not attracted to you anymore, clean my house. Same kind of guys.

those are the red flags. Those are the red flags ladies. Yeah, also if they're selling weapons to Nazis. That's another, we should probably keep that from this one. That was also a bad thing. That was quite a big red flag. I think she probably should have seen that, even though she was young.

So he even had like maids listening on her phone calls to make sure she wasn't up to anything. And he was constantly paranoid that she was having an affair. She wrote, I knew very soon that I could never be an actress while I was his wife. He was the absolute monarch in his marriage. I was like a doll.

I was like a thing, some object of art, which had to be guarded and imprisoned, having no mind, no life of its own. And I think the death of her father in 1935 also made her think a lot about what she wanted from her life and the freedom that she was longing for. So in 1937 she decided to leave her husband and her country. But you can't just leave a man like Fritz Mandel easily. You have to kill him. It's not easy to just be like, hey, Fritz. We've tried, you know? This sounds like that would be scary.

Yeah, yeah. Because he sounds like a psycho. Yeah. So what she did is they were hosting a dinner party one night. And Heddy was sort of like, you know, involved in hiring the help. You know, so she purposely chose a maid that had similar features to her. She swapped clothes with the maid. Put on her coat, which she'd sewn all of her jewelry into the lining of.

got on a bike and fled. Oh. One thing I read was that she put sleeping powder in a tea and swapped teas with the maid, sort of drugged her and took her clothes. That sounds a bit worse. That's pretty awful. That's pretty awful.

And so Fritz and the maid lived happily ever after? He never noticed. I don't know what happened. Back at Fritz Manor or whatever the castle's called. Hang on. This is not my beautiful one. Yeah. Not really sure what happened for the maid. David Byrne was there and that's then he went.

And that's where he got the inspiration for that song. It's pretty amazing. This is not my beautiful castle. So she flees. She takes all her jewelry with her and she gets out. Her parents had friends in London, so that's where she chose to go. And while she was there in London, she sort of spent a couple of months figuring out what her next moves would be. And she met with Louis B. Mayor of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.

Louis B. Mayor. Oh, Louis B. Mayer be making movies. Loua B. Mere B. Meree B. Maree. Hade of that bit. Louie B. Metro Golden Mayor Studio in. Was he the lion? Yes. Oh, sick.

Yeah, yeah, the lion. We talked about him, I think, in the Wizard of Oz episode. Probably, yeah. But yeah, I forget. There's some confusing thing about that history there. Like, he wasn't actually, I can't remember, but there was some confusing thing. Well, he was in Europe scouting for talent, but, but essentially he was actually there to buy up all the actors who were fleeing Nazi Germany.

Buy them. Yeah, like buying them up, putting them on contracts, bringing them back to the States, and then you've just got them. Because back then, and I think it still happens a little bit, but it's quite different now. But you were sort of like you were on a contract with a particular movie studio. Yeah, and they were brutal deals. Like, they wouldn't make much money.

They'd be the star. It took a while for the actors to group together and take some of the power back. Yeah. Because it was more like, it was like doing a J job pretty much. It'd be like, cool, so you work at the studio, you do the acting, millions of watch you want to adore you, you don't get any more money.

Yeah, exactly right. Finish it, you're going to contract, you get an hourly wage. Yeah, turn up at seven, and we'll have a movie for you. We're writing it now, and yeah, we'll turn that out. And then, yeah, see you tomorrow. Yeah, so he was just there, like, scouting, getting all these people who were desperate, it and so would probably accept pretty low wages.

He offered her a contract with MGM, paying $125 a week. She turned him down. She was like, not enough. Bitch, I was just living in a castle. I just came from a castle, so. I was just living here in a castle. I'm not taking $125 a week. She knows her worth, and I like that.

What's that equivalent to in today's terms? That's a good question. Not sure. I mean, it's not nothing. It seems like a fair... I want to have a look. If like 280 grand was 4.5 million now. Yeah, so it'd be thousands a week.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But movie stars can make, you know, millions. Exactly, yeah. It's a lot. I don't know if it's keeping up her castle lifestyle. Yeah, so she turns it down. Her, the first run of movies, are they all Austrian movies, were they? Yeah, or like, yeah, in various parts of Europe.

There was a few different ones there, yeah. But she's not in Hollywood yet. Instead, so she turns him down and then she books herself a ticket for the SS Normandy, the ship that Mayo was taking back to New York. She puts herself on the same ship. Oh, she, yeah, she went a truck to the SS. She loves that world. On board the ship, she was, she made sure to accidentally bump into him around, oh,

oh, hello, Mr. May, nice to see you. On the second night of the voyage, she put on her finest ball gown and walked through the dining room. every eye in the room was glued to Hetty her beauty capturing everyone's attention and by the end of the night she had a contract for 500 a week she's just like like everybody's looking at me this ball gown just paid for itself

yeah did she sew a ball gown into her jacket yeah I don't know how she had it but like she was staying in a pretty modest cabin on the ship like she but she was looking wealthy without actually being She had time to spend some of her jewels on a ball gown. Oh, yeah, she had jewels, yeah.

And they were like, yeah, they would have been good jewels. So selling those would have kept in. You'd want to get rid of those. So she's still technically married to Fritz. I think so, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, interesting. I wonder if that, if he tracks her down or anything, because she's not, she's hardly hiding.

Yeah. She's hiding in plain sight, really. It seems like he kind of let her go. Right. Like, well, yeah, I didn't. He never figured it out. the maid. He's still with the maid to this day. She comes up all groggy and he's like, Hetty. Where you been, baby? And she's like, my name's not Hetty. You're like, jeez, have you

had to hit your head or something? And no, she looks around at the castle and it's like, yes. I love you. Have you hit your headie or something? I had to. Sorry. So anyway, yeah, so she's got this $500 a week contract. Maya was the one who persuaded her to change her name to distance herself from her real identity and the ecstasy lady. You don't want to be known as that, and that reputation. So as an homage to silent film star Barbara Lamar, Maya's wife suggested Hedy Lamar. Barb Lamar, that's a great name.

Barbara Lamar was like L.A. space, M.A. Double R. Ah. Hedy is all one word. That's French for the Mar. The Mar. Barbara, the Mar. So Maya took Hedy Lamar to Hollywood in 1938, began promoting her as the world's most beautiful woman.

Like in a circus? Yeah. Come on, Adam! What's very impressive about this part of her life as well is that she barely spoke any English at the time. She'd learned enough phrases to sort of convince him to take her on, and that was it.

I love that. Yeah. And by the time the boat arrives in New York, word had spread of her arrival and crowds of reporters were there to interview and photograph Hedy Lamar. Really? Yeah. Someone who named it that had been invented on the way and was sort of unknown.

Yeah. How did they get the info off the boat? It was the old times. Telegraph? You could do telegraphs on boats. On a boat? Yeah, the Titanic had telegraphed on it, didn't it? Really?

I reckon, surely. I've no idea, but yeah, that makes sense. I thought it had to go through chords. Yeah, I don't know. But that's wild that they would even be like... I'm thinking of the film Titanic. Oh. they were definitely doing something, weren't they?

Yeah, weren't they doing on Morse code? Yeah, but how'd that work? Don't at me. I don't care enough. And by the time you tweet at me to tell me, I've forgotten this. And I'll say, okay, whatever. So don't at me. Maybe you send a letter.

Fuck how they send letters. Pigeon. So what? Maybe you just, I'm just going to believe Pigeon. Why? Like what, Louis B. May is just so well-known. as a star maker or something that he's gone. I've got the next biggest star on the world,

you better get here. Is that all it could have been, you think? Hey, it's your cousin. You know that new lady you've been looking for? Get a load of this. You're just holding the phone. I can just hear people talking in the background. No, no, no, no.

Trust me. That's how beautiful she was. You could hear it. I found this quote on a, like a movie trivia website. I think it's Wikipedia.org. Oh, great. It's got heaps of like movie trivia and stuff. It's really cool, quite comprehensive actually.

Okay, I'll have to check it out. Wikipedia.org. Okay, check it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, check it. It's pretty fun. Like any movie you could think of, it's probably on there. You have... All of them.

You're such a computer whiz. You find these great websites. Yeah. No, I am, and I do. Do you also love gadgets? Fuck, I love gadgets. I love gadgets. I love to know how things work.

You know? Not the telegraph of the Titanic, though, no. So tell me about it. I don't care. So this is a quote. It says, male loaned Lamar to producer Walter Wagner, who was making Algiers in 1938.

It was about a notorious French jewel thief hiding in the labyrinth native quarters of Algiers, known as the Casbah. Feeling imprisoned by his self-imposed exile, he is drawn out of hiding by a beautiful French tourist, who reminds him. of happier times in Paris. That's nice.

And she is a dual thief, so... Yeah. She was also imprisoned a little bit. Yeah. So she could really relate to this role. Lamar was cast as the lead opposite Charz Boyer. The film created a national sensation, and Hedy was billed as an unknown but well-publicized Austrian actress,

which created anticipation in audiences. They were like, who's it going to be? Oh, a well-publicized but unknown. Yeah, what is, that feels like an uxy moron. Well, according to one viewer, when her face first appeared on the screen, everyone gasped. Lamar's beauty literally took one's breath away. It's so... I can't imagine.

I know. Who's the hottest person in the world now? I know, I don't know. I can't picture anyone taking my breath away. No. That's so, like, I just... It's so strange, isn't it? I mean, it's like, but it's this universal thing.

Like, it happens throughout her entire life. all through her career. And so many people talk about how, like, you would see her on screen or you would see her in person and just, like, you could not not look at her. And I just can't relate to that. Do we just see more faces now? We're just used to seeing hot people more. I mean, maybe it's because we are hot people. We look in the mirror.

We see our people every day. True. And it doesn't take my breath away. But back then, the people would just see the people they live with, the people at work. And I wonder if, yeah, maybe. And they're all poor. And so therefore, I'm not. ugly.

Not like a rich and hot. I don't have that Hollywood $125 a week to make them beautiful. I'm thinking about like, okay, the actors, let's say, Hollywood people that I find attractive, I think I find them attractive because they're either funny or like they're good looking but I like them as a person too. I don't know. It's weird, isn't it? I believe that no one's lying and I just want to experience it.

I know. I just want to get just completely like whore. I just, I don't, I feel like it's not possible anymore. Yeah, I want someone to walk into a room, me just like jaw drop. I want to gar, I want to audibly gasp at someone's beauty. And I don't, I think that's too much to ask in, in this day and age, which is very disappointing. That's so sad. I want to audibly spoof when someone walks into the room.

What does that sound like? That's disgusting. It's very old spoof, dusty. It's been a while since anybody's taken your spoof away. Take my spoof away. So sorry. I'm so glad that Cass basically gave me permission to go to places like that by saying spoof earlier. Yeah. If you're feeling like you hate this, you started it.

I did. I think it was last year or sometime you said the word spoof and I don't know if we were recording or not. But I remember being like, oh my God. I haven't a spoof in a while. That's staying. There was, for some reason, there was an episode of, was it of this show that we, and I started listing like, you know, sproul, spoof, shoof, yes, it was this, yeah. Is this one you said, will we, was that, that was an episode you were on, maybe?

Yeah, and I think, did we come up with the phrase, boink me till I spoo? Boing, oh man, boink is such a fun, bouncy word. Boing. Yeah. Boink is... Feels on a matter of pace, but not for sex. No, for like... If sex was slapstick, that's boink.

Sounds like a watermelon that bounces a little bit if you've dropped it. Yeah, boink? Exactly like sex. Yeah. The way I do it. So yeah, everyone's gasping at the mere side of her. For the next few years, she's invariably typecast as the, you know, glamorous seductress. Usually of exotic origin, which to an...

American audience is anywhere, not America. 1940s American Western Boomtown had Hetty starring alongside Clark Gable and her performance solidified her career. It really made her a star. Over the next four or five years, she filmed three movies a year alongside names like Spencer Tracy, Judy Garland. And she also married Gene Markey, a screenwriter and producer.

And apparently people, like, one person in this documentary I watched was like, she could have married anyone. And she chose Gene. Like he was like plain looking and they're like, what are you doing? She married Jean. I imagine I'd talk like that too. That's fantastic. She could have had anyone.

Anyone she wanted. She chose Gene. You sound like, I saw that old sketch from Saturday Night Live. I think it's Elizabeth Taylor trying to turn off a lamp. Isn't it? It doesn't sound like that. I haven't, but I already like it. Played by.

What's their name? she's in a lot of stuff she's in the ghostbusters when they was all women is it Kate is it Kate?

Not Kate McKinnon like generation before that oh generation before that oh it doesn't matter has her face a bit long a bit of a long face not in a bad way it's just a bit longer

and was she in bridesmaids yes yeah oh Kristen Wigg Christian Wig yeah okay generation before yes okay yeah good run

and even the voice I was just doing was Kristen Wig essentially Yeah, so you're absolutely right. Short for Kristen Headwig. Yeah. So she and Jean adopted a son, James. But after a few months of marriage,

Jean was dating other beautiful young women. Gene, what the fuck? And Jean, let's remember. Plain Jean. He can't have anybody, but apparently he can. So Gene's got money and a big dick. That's what we know. Oh, no, that's so shattering.

This is like when Beyonce came out and she's like, Jay Z cheated on me. It's like, well, I guess we're packing. it in. That was wild, wasn't it? It's like, what the fuck's going on? In what fucking universe do you check on Beyonce? Yeah, what a fucking...

That is what is wrong with you. If you get Beyonce, you spit every day going, what the? I got Beyonce and you make her a cup of tea. And you just trood her, look, the queen that she is. She, like, she'd be one of the hottest people in the world, right? 100%. But I still don't, like, doesn't take my breath away. I'm just like, holy shit.

I know. Look at Beyonce. Like, at the first one I thought, I was like, Margot Robbie, she's stunning. So beautiful. Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. Symmetical faces all round. Yeah.

Brad Pitt's one of those people who's being hot for, like he's now sort of older man hot, but he's still super hot. Leo, like Titanic Leo, Jesus Christ, so hot. I don't take my breath away? Don't see it. No. It's weird. Leo, don't, I don't see it. You don't think Leo is.

I'll pick, when you said Jean. I pictured Leo When you said plain Plain boring Yeah That's Leo Like he seems like a nice god And Leo dates a lot of young women

Yeah Yeah he does So yeah he's a real gene All right That's who we're casting is gene Okay So yeah they Their marriage sort of fell apart

A few years later in 1941 While the Hollywood It Girl image Is usually associated with parties Glamour and luxury Hedie would come home After long days of filming And work on her hobby inventing.

Oh, I love her. Yeah, she's really cool. I love it. Like, she was genuinely, like, the roles that she was given often didn't have, some of them didn't have a whole bunch of, like, um, dialogue for her or it would be...

She still hadn't learned English. Well, and also, she was just there to be beautiful. Also, that's good. She can save all her brain space for machines. Yeah, but she was just bored by the films that she was making. She was like, this is fucking boring. Um, so she would come home and, like, work on projects and work on.

on inventions and hearing her talk about it as a much older woman she was like inventions just come so easily to me like they just pop into my head I'm just like oh yeah what about this? She came up with a toaster yeah she's like bread imagine that it was like a little bit cooked

yeah imagine if it was just a bit charred on the outside let's give that a go yeah double cooked I didn't even thought about that bread's already cooked yeah holy shit toast is double cooked you've only just thought of that bloody hell that has spoofed my brain does that work?

No. But we're two years into the Second World War now. Yeah. And she was like, oh, glad I got out of there. Yeah, it was a good call. She's starting to think Adolf Hitler's not all he seemed to be. He never did compliment Max Halds at the dinner parties, did he? One of the inventions that she worked on, and she said it was like, you know, it didn't quite work.

but something that she thought of because of the war, people didn't have Coca-Cola. And so she thought of making it just like a cube that you could just add to water and it would, what's the word, like it would dissolve and you would have coke. She invented Barocca. Well, what she did make,

she was like, hmm, tastes a bit too. It's just like Alka-Seltzer. It's not quite what I was going for. But like she had that sort of idea and she worked on it for a while and stuff, but it's pretty interesting. So she was good at ideas. Yeah.

Yeah, but I mean that's what so much of inventing is. And that's what a few people sort of said. It's like the hard, not the hard part, but like there's multiple different elements to inventing a new thing. And just because you don't have the engineer brain for it, you know, you just need the people that have the ideas. Yeah. So what is it?

I don't know if this saying is relevant. It's something like 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration. Yeah. It's all that. Yeah, most of it is making it happen, which is a tough bit. It's like Leonardo DiCaprio. Leonardo da Vinci. Invented a helicopter, sort of.

But he drew it and he thought of it, but it didn't actually get made to. And Hetty wasn't just ideas. She had a good sort of understanding of how things worked, or she was good at, like, finding out how things worked. But yeah, she's not an engineer. She's not an actual scientist, but she's got these ideas. Among the few people who knew of her inventiveness was, aviation tycoon and past topic Howard Hughes.

Played by Leonardo da Vinci in the film. In fact, she suggested he changed the rather square design of his aeroplanes, which she thought looked too slow, to a more streamlined shaped based on pictures of the fastest birds and fish she could find. She said, I got a picture, I got a book of fish, and I got a book of birds. And I said, make this. Mushroom together. Yeah, she's like, make this bit look more like a fish, make this bit look more like a bird.

And Howard Hughes did that. That's very clever. That's great. So she helped planes go faster, which he was trying to do to help a war. So she was like, here's how you make a fast plane. Your plane's too slow, bored. She was like, this is my karma, like fixing itself. Yeah, yeah.

She's like, I'll do this as my penance. And she does even more. From Wiki, Lamar discussed her relationship with Hughes during an interview saying that while they dated, he actively supported her tinkering hobbies. So she's sort of like, yeah, yeah, we kind of dated. He was really supportive of my inventing. He put his team of scientists and engineers at her disposal saying they would do or make anything she asked for.

So she would just be like, hey, can you guys whip this up for me? They'd be like, no worries, Hetty. Like cocktails or she's sitting by the pool. Can you whip up a martini for me? You know what? I could go just a toasted cheese sandwich. What's toast? Wow.

Would I say no to a moment? martini with a girl's not I'm about an idiot I'm heady Lamar so when she'd move to America she was told as were many other actresses from that area of Western Europe not to talk about their religious background sort of where they'd come from and it was because like World War II was happening and things weren't great yeah and during World War II German U-boats were attacking ships filled with people trying to escape the war and Lamar learned that radio controlled torpedoes which was an emerging technology at a naval war at the time could easily be jammed and set off course.

So essentially, like, they made torpedoes that they could kind of control the direction of them. Because if you shot at something and it's moved and you're like, well, that's a wasted torpedo, you could move them a little bit. But the other, like the Germans would be able to jam that signal, meaning you couldn't communicate. So she thought of creating a frequency hopping signal that could not be tracked or jammed. She contacted her friend, composer and pianist George and Thiel to help her develop a device

for doing exactly that. And he succeeded by synchronising a miniature player piano mechanism with radio signals. So essentially what would happen instead, it's sort of like dialing your radio, right? So you go to like 107.5 in Melbourne, and that's triple J. In this one, like you would, your boat and the torpedo would be on the same wavelength, but then the enemy would be able to block that wavelength. So you can't. And so what they did was the torpedo and the boat,

would both have like timers essentially where they would at the exact same time change radio frequencies and they would do that multiple times so that they could always be communicating with each other and it was impossible to jam it. Very clever. That is very clever. Took me a really long time to try and figure out how to explain it.

But once you got the triple J thing in here, one of a simple file, okay. If you think of a radio, I was like, I'm listening. I don't know how radios work. I know what buttons I need to press, but I don't know how they work on the other. end. Do you reckon the

Germans who are being told to torpedo the boats of fleeing, people fleeing war? They might have been like, hang on, are we the bad guys here? Killing innocent people,

like just civilians fleeing? So that ship of just women and children, I should, blow that one up? Torpedo? You got a bus. Oh, we're getting it. Okay.

Okay. And what are we, so then we go and get them off the, no. And so do we have enough little boats to go get him or we're not going to get him? Okay. But this is all part of our righteous plan? Yeah.

Yeah. And this is to make the world better. Okay. And those are bad people who have just done bad things. Oh no, they're all just innocent. Okay. Okay. Okay.

And they're trying to escape the horrors of war. Us. Us. The weak cause. Okay. So they're just trying to get to safety and we're just following them out. Okay. Yeah.

None of that cool. So yes, they've, they've, they've, they're driving. designs for this frequency hopping system, which they had patented. They got the patent for it. However, it was technologically difficult to implement, and at that time, the US Navy was not receptive

to considering inventions coming from outside the military. They weren't receptive to inventions that could help them win the war. Yeah, we're kind of sticking with what we got. Yours jam. Oh yeah, but we know that they jam. Yeah.

So we don't know you. Okay. And so Lamont Mar and Antheil essentially took this patent to the Navy and were like, here, here you go. And the Navy took the patent, locked it away, brushed them off. And Hedy was told that she'd be more help with the war if she just used her star power to sell war bonds. She'd just come up with a fucking... They base Captain America on her?

Yeah. In the first movie. Yeah. Yeah. Probably. A war bond, it's like an initiative by a government to fund military operations. Essentially, people just invest in the war, which is a bit of fun. So they took her patent.

They buried it. And then after the war, they said, is this your patent? And it was one of the best reveals ever. That Navy officer was the great Bambini. Is that a magician? No, that's a baseball player. That's a bad, Bruce. Yeah.

So she did that. She went and sold war bonds. She was like, fine, I'll go to events. I'll go to, you know, whatever. and she appeared at so many events. One of them I heard, like, they had a plant in the audience, essentially, and she'd sort of make jokes of like, oh, should I, like, I'll kiss a random person.

And she'd bring this guy up on stage and she'd be like, only if we sell enough war bonds, then I'll give him a smooch. It was the same guy. It was like a friend of hers. And people are going, I want to see those two kiss. I know, so fucking weird. But she sold $25 million in war bonds, which is over 300 million today.

Holy hell. So they were like, thanks for this cute little invention toots. You'd be a little more helpful to us if you went and raised some money. So she's like, okay, and she raised a fuck load of money. I never really, so war bonds are kind of investments or? I think so. I find them kind of confusing. So they're like, it's like, yeah, the public can kind of buy these war bonds.

And I think the I don't know if they ever sort of get their money back or I'm not really sure exactly how it works. I'll just quickly say, please tweet at Jess an explanation in detail, ideally over multiple tweets. It's important to know what a war bond is. Don't thread them. Do not thread them. Separate tweets. Yeah, yeah. Don't make it easy.

Make me work for it. Don't number them. Yeah, don't number them. Just yell that information into the ether. I'll get it. I'll get it all. Thank you. Is this your patent?

I don't know what bit. I don't know what the bit is. I don't get it. There's no real bit there. I just try. I'm just trying stuff. Every now and then I haven't said something for a little bit. I think, oh, it's talking time.

Yeah, but if you could edit that out, that'd be great. Nah, that will be staying in. Like the great bandbine. I have a few swings and a few misses. Hey, don't we all? I pointed to the stand. And I had a big fresh airy. It was a curveball.

Yep. I made no contact. Okay. So after all this, effort, fundraising and inventing for America, MGM put her in a 1942 film White Cargo in which she played a seductive native woman, way too much spray tan. Hard to say because it's a black and white film, but it definitely looks like blackface. The movie was considered a dirty picture. It was essentially made to entertain horny troops. Like, hey, it's the war. The boys are, you know,

they've got to give them something. And you know what men love. We know what men love. love dirty films. They love to watch them with all of their friends. Sit around in the cinema, get horny with their mates. Nothing better than getting horny together with your mates. Isn't that nice? Yeah. Women don't do that.

No. And what a sad part of the world we miss out on. There's definitely no all-male strip reviews that women go to. It's weird. It's sad they haven't invented it. Yeah. Sad there's no men who do it even. Yeah, no men down under in particular.

in particular. Yeah. I don't know about other parts of the world, but you're right. We don't have men down under. There's no men down under. Nothing magical for us to see. Yeah. No mics.

Yeah. No mics with any sort of magical powers. I know. It's disappointing. Anyway. Women need to learn out a spoof. God. Thank you for being a feminine.

Hey, I'm an ally. Women deserve to spoof. Women deserved a spoof just as much as anyone else. It was a bit of a reflection of the way Louis B. Mayer viewed Hedy Lamar. because most definitely because of her role in ecstasy, he kind of like, he thought of her as sort of trashy, promiscuous, you know, like, yeah. So he put her in this kind of role.

And because of Mayer's opinion of Hedy Lamar, she began to gain a reputation as being difficult. But in reality, he was trying to keep her on a short leash and she was saying, nah, fuck that. Like he wasn't treating her well and she was pushing back. And so that gave her a reputation as like a bit of a diva, hard to work with the difficult person. It's very frustrating. So in an unheard move for a woman at the time, she formed a production company,

made a couple of her own movies. They were thrillers. One was called The Strange Woman in 1946 and dishonoured lady of 1947. That's when you sit on a woman for long enough that they go numb. Don't sit on women until they go numb. Don't.

Cut it out. Anyway, so yeah, so she's like formed her own production company. She's making her own movie. She doesn't really have like the, the skills, training, whatever, to be producing these big movies. But she's fucking giving it a crack and that's pretty cool. Good on her. By this time she was married to her third husband, actor John Loda,

and together they had two children, Denise and Anthony, born in 45 and 47. And it was later revealed that the son she'd adopted with Gene Markey, James, was in fact the biological son of John Loder and Hedy Lamar. So they'd, James had been conceived out of wedlock. and then Hedy married somebody else and adopted her own son. The perfect crime. Yeah. I think this was found out way down the track.

I think James might have found that out as an adult. But James became kind of estranged from his mother. It's like, you know, it doesn't really happen. I don't think as much anymore, but people would used to keep the secret that a kid was adopted and then kids would often find out later. Yeah, yeah. Now I think people will more likely just tell their kids they're adopted.

from the start. It's not a dirty secret anymore. No, it's not a bad thing. But back then she had to come clean and tell her kid, no, you're actually my biological. Yeah, he's like, no. Yeah, I think it was as he was an adult.

But he was estranged from his mom from about the age of 12, and they didn't speak for about 50 years. 50? 40, 50 years, they didn't speak. And it wasn't, because of this, I don't think. Like I said, I think he found out more as an adult. He was sort of sent off to like a boarding school kind of thing.

and had a great connection with like one of the sports coaches or something and the sports coach and his wife took him in and he like called his mum one time was like can I just live with him just fucking brutal but and he talks about it in a documentary and he's like you know I can understand she was hurt I was a bit of a slap in the face yeah a little bit yeah but yeah so that's a bit strange but anyway the her other two children talk about her being a really wonderful warm and loving mum again a bit of like a thing you don't in some of these old sort of Hollywood stories they've usually been treated badly by their parents they're not always the best parents themselves yeah um her kids like speak

really really highly of of their childhoods have we have we spoken about the patent is it still locked up by the Navy yeah it's still locked up till this day or where we're at in the story where we're at yeah um so yeah she spent as much time as she could with her kids taught them to swim they had really happy and comfortable childhoods. Their father, John Loder, left when their kids were quite young, and Hetty raised them by herself with the help of her mother Trude, who had by this time made it to America and lived close by. Oh, what's that name?

Trude. Yeah, Gertrude called her Trude. Oh, sick. Trude sort of had to flee Austria in the war. Weird. It just, like, wasn't the vibe at the time. So, yeah. Jewelry in the coat.

Yeah. She made her made sleep. and then left in the night. It's beautiful. Made a made sleep. I'm off to sleep. But raising the children alone and putting so much money into self-producing films

left Hetty not quite as financially comfortable as she should have been. Luckily, she heard that Cecil B. DeMille, everyone's got a middle initial. That means the mill in French. He was casting a new movie, Samson and Delilah. She approached Cecil and expressed enthusiasm for the role and she was cast as Delilah.

The film was a huge success, winning two Oscars and was the highest grossing film of 1949 and the second highest of the decade with only gone with the wind surpassing it. Wow. That is very impressive. Yeah. It's gone with the wind's insane. Exactly.

And to be the second highest grossing of the decade and it came out in 1949. Like you've just blown everything away. So cool. So she's like doing quite well for a while. That's sort of, you know, giving her another little boost. She's making some more stuff again. I thought Gone with the Wind came out in 39. I don't know.

Well, I don't know that. It was 39 to 49. Yeah, I guess that counts. Oh, my God. Crazy. I think that's 11 years. But anyway, still. Still.

Still. Still. Still pretty good. Decades were longer back then. Yeah, we've shortened decades. I think it was 66. We shortened the decades. Oh, yeah.

They made them different back then. They lasted longer. Your pants lasted longer. The decades lasted longer. If fridge has lasted longer, bloody out. I don't make it to last. So, again, so. Her success in buzz soon dwindled again, and in the early 50s,

she had a few unsuccessful films and another unsuccessful marriage to nightclub owner and restaurateur Ted Stulfer. They were married just from 51 to 52, a fairly short marriage there. In 53, she married wealthy Texas oilman Howard Lee, and the family moved to Texas where Hetty found herself in the position of trophy wife once again. On a holiday to Aspen, Hetty came up with the idea of designing and building a ski resort. so she convinced Howard to purchase land and Villa Lamar was born. She built a freaking really fancy, beautiful ski resort. When she gets bored, a lot of stuff happens.

Yeah. It's like, what a life you've really lived. After several years of marriage to Howard Lee, Hetty and Howard divorced. And in the divorce proceeding, she said, all I want is Aspen. He was a very wealthy man. She's like, keep it all. I don't give a shit. But Aspen's my project, my baby. Like, I want Aspen. which I think was like, you know, fairly agreed upon.

But as the, this is tragic, as the divorce proceedings were underway, okay, I said this is tragic and then I'm going to say something that's going to sound like it's quite tragic, but I'll tell you now he's fine. Hedy's 11-year-old son, Tony, was in a car accident and was in hospital with some bad injuries. So she sent, this is incredible. Divorce proceedings underway. She's been called to court for this divorce, but she's with her son in hospital. so she sends her Hollywood body double to court in her place.

The maid. The maid. Still groggy. Which I think is like, it's a bold move to go, well, there's a little to work. Especially when your face is so famous. Exactly. The judge was pretty unimpressed and as punishment she was completely cut out of the divorce settlement. That's the sort of fucked bit.

Tony was fine. But this whole sort of situation led to what you. she described as a nervous breakdown. Yeah, Tony made a full recovery, but Hedy began a bit of a downward spiral. She married for the sixth time, marrying her divorce lawyer, Lewis J. Boise,

and divorced him two years later. And after Lewis, she remained unmarried for the remainder of her life. Being divorcing from a divorce lawyer, you wouldn't feel too good about your chances in court. Yeah, he's really going to take everything. By the 70s, Hetty was living a fairly reclusive life. A lifetime of scrutiny,

and focus on her appearance made her increasingly self-conscious, and she kept to herself not even seeing family. There was sort of in the doco, it was sort of talk about, like, plastic surgery she was having, and then people were sort of obsessed with that, and so they'd go to plastic surgeons and be like, I want what headies had done. And, yeah, it sort of got really out of hand, as it often does. When all your value is put in your face, it would be, aging would be particularly brutal. Exactly, yeah.

That would be horrific to just be like, oh, no one will listen to me unless I am beautiful. Oh, well, okay, I can walk into a room and get what I want. And then all of a sudden that is gone. You're like, well, no one has listened to me. I guess no one will listen to me. Exactly. And I do sort of feel like, I was talking to some friends about this recently,

I sort of feel like the perception of people having plastic surgery or any kind of cosmetic surgery, I think the perceptions changed quite a bit now. Like, when I was growing up, it was really like you'd roll your eyes or you'd really judge people who had had it. any kind of cosmetic surgery. And like sitting around in a group of women in our early 30s and people have had Botox and people are talking about doing things and it's like, yeah, cool, whatever. Like I think it's changed a lot.

But this is, you know, in the 70s and it was, yeah, I think it was still very much. Yeah, that would have been really different. Exactly right. Because also the technology hadn't come on quite as much as well. So it was way riskier probably. Yeah, that's very true. Sadly, all good things must come to an end. And Hedy Lamar passed away from heart disease in January 2000, the age of 85.

my God, good innings. And her son Anthony spread her ashes in the Vienna woods in Austria as per her final wishes. But just to note as well, because Matt, you were asking about what happened with the Peyton. In the early 60s, at the time of the Cuban missile crisis, US Navy ships were sent to form a blockade of Cuba. And all the Navy ships were equipped with frequency hopping radios. Hey. Hedys Payton had been used more than a decade after the patent had been handed to them to help in World War II. In order for Heddy to get paid for the patent,

the Navy would need to use it before it expired in 1959. Patents all kind of expire. As they were like, well, we didn't. It's 1962. We didn't use it before 1959. There's evidence, though, that they had given the patent to a contractor to work on around 1955, who then used it to design a sonar boy,

which would allow Navy ships and passing aircrafts to communicate securely. According to U.S. Peyton Law, the inventor, the inventor has six years after the patent expires to sue for payment. Hady didn't know or didn't find out in time, I know, that it had been used or that she should have been paid. It's so weird, such a like an obese, like the amount of money that's spent on defence in America especially, but like in a lot of countries. Yeah.

And they're tired about just paying the person who invented the technology. Yeah. That sucks so much. It sucks so much. Jesus. There was this article. written by Fleming Meeks for Forbes magazine in 1990. And it's kind of a bit of the focus of this documentary that's on Stan if you're in Australia. It's called bombshell. It was the first time

that it was sort of brought to light that Hedy's appearance wasn't all that she had to offer. Bringing her invention to the public meant that others explored it. And the first to do so were people in communications technology. So he essentially like wrote about this frequency hopping thing, which then other people read that and went, hmm, that's interesting. And frequency hopping and Hetty's patent have led to things like GPS, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, and the Milstar satellite system, which provides protected, secure communication for the President of the United States. Oh, my God. The market value of her invention is about $30 billion.

GPS, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth. All stuff we use every single day. Thank you, Hetty. Oh my God. Isn't that crazy? Well, the last years of her life seemed to have been a bit lonely and isolated. She was an incredible person. She had 30 films in the span of 28 years.

Iconic characters were modelled after her like Snow White and Catwoman. Like literally the look of Snow White is Hedy Lamar. And an underappreciated invention that is now the basis of things that we use on a daily basis. All because an incredibly beautiful woman also had a brain. Fleming makes this is in his art. article in Forbes, he wrote, in her Hollywood days, Lamar was often quoted as saying, any girl can be glamorous. All she has to do is stand up, all she has to do is stand still and look stupid. Glomerous she was. Stupid, she was not.

Thanks, meek. A beautiful, poetic line there from Fleming Meeks. But yeah, that's the story of like a pretty wild life, a successful acting career, a six marriages, three kids, and an invention that is now worth $30 billion and that we all use on a daily basis. How cool is that? So cool. That's amazing. And so there would have been, in her life,

she would have been aware of the invention and how big an effect it was having. Yeah. Which is kind of cool, even though she didn't make any money out of it, but it doesn't sound like she was really money hungry anyway. Nah. Especially after the divorce of the Texan man.

She was pretty, like I think she was a bit frustrated that like she wasn't given the credit that she deserved. She was honoured in an award by Milstar, I think, but she's pretty reclusive by that time. So Anthony accepted the award. And she was just sort of grateful that people were appreciating, you know, what she had come up with. Yeah, it's nice that she lived to see that. Exactly, yeah. Because yeah, like we said, you know, you've had your whole life of people, literally she'd be saying like, she'd say something really interesting.

and they'd be like, uh-huh, uh-huh, sh-sh, so beautiful. So, aren't you beautiful? Like, that would be so frustrating. So for her to get the recognition that, you know, she had a brain and it was a bloody good one, is, um, it's nice that she got a bit of it. But it's not quite the satisfying ending you want for her. No. So it's a pretty wild life.

Everybody, um, who suggested it, nearly everyone was like, it's a tragic, but amazing life. And yeah, I think, uh, I think I agree with them. Yeah. Oh, great, great work. Well told. Thank you so much. I appreciate that so much. Well, you know, I do my best.

So, Cass, I think you've got to run before we do our everyone's favorite section of the show. But where can people find if they want to hear more of you? If you want to hear more of me, go to sans spans radio.com. I'm on D&D for Nerds YMS ad and shut up a second. And I'd love to hear from you hearing from me. You can go to at Cass Cass page across all the socials I have. If you can't find me there, I'm not there. That's page with an eye.

Yeah, because I am Cass. That's your stage name. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. First name was no I.

Yeah. Because then people wouldn't know it was me. Yeah. Was I? Was I? The Cass cast online. Cats for age. Yeah.

Well, I better spoof off. What an exit. Thanks, Cass. Thank you for having me, guys. Well, Jess, it is now time for everyone's favorite section of the show, the fact quote of question section, which I think has a jingle that goes something like this. Fact quote or question.

I always remember the ding. In this section of the show, we like to thank a bunch of our supporters. Despite what some snarky commenters say, the section goes for about 30 to 40 minutes every week, and it isn't growing in length. Oh, bloody hell. They just don't stop thanking us. There's always these comments like,

yeah, really, oh, the episodes are getting along. Yeah, probably mainly just the end bit. And the end bit goes about the same. The reports vary in length. Yeah. But it doesn't get to me. Don't worry about that. Sorry that we thank people at the end of the episode.

Yeah, so sorry. But yeah, for those people, you definitely don't have to listen to this. bit, even though it is everyone's favorite section of the show. No pressure in any way. So we like to thank a bunch of our supporters. These are the people who keep

this show going. So if you like the report bit, then you should also be grateful to these people. And if you want to join in on the supporting, you can do so at patreon.com slash do go onpod or do go onpod.com.

There's a bunch of different levels. You get all sorts of different rewards. You get at any level, you get to be in the Facebook group, which is the nicest corner of the internet. You can also vote on topics. Was today a personal choice? Or is it a vote? Personal choice this week. But we still have a look through the hat.

Yeah. And Dave and I, that means Dave and I at the moment are putting our topics up to the vote. You also get discounted tickets. You can hear about tickets before everyone else for live shows and a bunch of other things. including if you're on the Sydney Scheinberg level you get to give us a factor quote or a question Sydney Shyenberg obviously being the great producer of films like Back to the Future

who I think was it one of the first like 20 episodes we talked about Back to the Future Was it that long ago? I think so when we learn about the great Sydney Shineberg Someone recently I saw another comment someone saying why do they always mention Sydney Seanberg what does that mean We did do an episode about him, and he was also talked about.

Yeah. But that's what the references for. Anyway, on that level, you get to give us a fact, a quote, or a question, and I read out four each week. The first one this week comes from, I believe, long, long time supporter, great man. He was a guest on primates one time. But I think this is his first fact, quote, or question. It's coming from Brian Colella. And you also get to give yourself a title as well as giving him a story.

It's a fat quote of question or brag or suggestion. Yeah, it can be anything really. Pretty much anything you like. If you want me to do a recipe, I don't care. Like just write anything in there. Fantastic suggestion that is. Thank you. If I was doing one, I'd be doing, it's not mine, but the lemonade scones, which I baked last week.

And they were pretty good. Three ingredients. Yeah. I think it's three and a half cups of self-raising flour, one cup of milk. and one cup of lemonade. No, no, not one cup of milk, one cup of thickened cream. Oh. And then you sort of, you chuck it all in a bowl and you just stir it, but not too much.

Then you flop it onto, like a bench or whatever. Yep. With a bit of flour, extra flour. Roll it, sort of pat it down a little bit more into a disc and then cut it out into the things, put it in the pan, into the oven. Bada bing, bada boom, butter bang. My mom always used a glass to like a small. glass to like to cut them out yeah and the sound of it is one of my favorite childhood sounds it made such

a satisfying sound and i it's a weird thing but i because i hadn't made scones i never made scones before and but it took me right back to childhood even like the little off cuts of the dough i ate a bit of it which is such a strange flavor but it just was like it made me feel so nostalgic for being a kid and mom-bacon scones, which of course you put cream on and then jam. Whatever. Anyway, Brian Colella has given himself the title, Milk Drinker Extraordinaire. Okay, Brian, we are different people. Brian does do a podcast about milk.

Okay, I don't know that. I wish I could remember what it was called, but I think it's all about drinking milk. Okay. And Brian has offered us a brag slash plug. Oh, this may well be. you about that podcast. I should say I don't read these out until I read them out. We're about to find out. Brian writes, Daniel Kay and I just recorded our 50th episode of our podcast, Milken It. Well, that's good. We started recording around the start of the pandemic just for a laugh,

but it ended up being so much fun to make that we kept going. Having it as a creative outlet was one of the things that helped me survive those early stages of isolation and adapt to staying at home forever. I think it's a really fun podcast, mostly because I have a a lot of fun making it, mostly because Daniel K is really funny. Recording has been sporadic lately, partly because the United States is deeply uncreative when it comes to flavored milks. Is that true? Wow.

I don't know. I'm always surprised by, because, you know, so much American culture filters through to us. I just, I'm always surprised when we have things that aren't, because we have a ridiculous array of flavored milks. Yeah. The ones that make no sense. Big M's always coming out with the specials. Yeah, egg flip was one of their classic ones.

It's Blue Heaven and they're doing ones that shouldn't be. What was the flavor of egg flip? What flavor is that? I think it's meant to be like egg, like a fried egg or something. Sorry, I don't eat eggs, so that's disgusting to me. Is that Zupo duper range that came out? Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of, yeah. Like icy pole flavored milk?

It's like, that doesn't make any sense. That's so strange. I was always a strawberry big em kid or banana big ham. No, I hate a banana. I like banana but not banana flavored things. Right. So strawberry for me. Apparently is what banana used to take.

taste like, like lolly banana and that. Oh. That's, I think that's the theory. Vaguely rings a bell. I don't know. 50 episode, Brian, that's great. Yeah, that's amazing. So, oh, anyway, yes, recording has been spreaded lately,

partly because the United States is deeply uncreated when it comes to flavored milks, but we're still going and will release at least six more episodes. Brian, you've got to come back down to Melbourne sometime and just do, you could do a whole run here. Yeah. Bonus fact, the name Milk and it was suggested by Andy Matthews. previous guests of the show, some sort of scientists. And the original idea was that I would be milking the advantageous exchange rate while in Melbourne for the 2020 Comedy Festival

and using my powerful US dollars to buy and drink all the flavor milks in Australia. That idea died, but the concept lived on. Bonus quote, sorry for the super long gratuitous, shameless plug. I love you all. That's a quote from Brian Colella. Bonus, bonus quote. Moo, moo, moo, everyone. That's from Daniel K.

That's nice. You really did. You were milking your brag there, Brian. And we love it. And we loved it. We loved it so much. And hey, you know. He could have done a milk, like he's been on the fat quarter question level for.

So long. So long. And that's his first one. So I think he deserved a long and juicy one there. Thanks so much, Brian, for all your support. You bloody legend. Love you, Brian. Next one comes from Jacob Giron.

Maybe a year on. It's the kind of word that seems like it could have a soft G. Yeah. Jacob Giron, aka the owner of the 1993 Honda Civic with its lights on in the parking lot. That's good. And Jacob is offering us fact writing, hey guys, hope the bopper is feeling better. I am, thank you. If I'm correct, Matt said my last name, the French way, which is the best way.

Oh my God, I think I just did it again. Anyways, just finished up the Le Mourne episode and just heard a great Pittsburgh fact, so I decided that it's time for some Los Angeles fun facts tailored to do go on. Great. First fact is for the ass-packing fans who should be excited to note that Los Angeles Coroner's Office has a gift shop. Surely they must sell Green Bay Packers jerseys. The second fact is that Los Angeles owes its film industry to the low dog, Thomas Edison, whose film patents on the East Coast calls filmmakers to flee West to avoid

his intellectual property claims. Hopefully, Bob gives the okay on the fun of these facts. My confidence in life depends on it. Well, God. Luckily, that was a fun fact. Anyway, thanks for all that you do and can't wait to see you live in Los Angeles once all this blows over. Oh, my God.

That would be amazing. That would be so good. Imagine we get a photo in front of the Hollywood sign. Probably from a distance while we're walking in a cab or something driving by. To an Irish pub. We're probably. Thank you, Jacob. Next one comes from Michael Derizzi, who is the arrogant American.

And he's also doing a brag, which is, I've been playing fantasy football for well over a decade, and I finally won my first championship thanks to Cooper Cup and Austin Eklah, absolutely demolishing my league mates. My team scored over 200 more points season. long than the next best team. I also finished runner-up in the second league I'm in. $100, which I assume is $200 Canadian dollars and 500 Australian-dollar-e-dos. This was the most fun and successful fantasy season I've ever had and can't wait for next year.

That's two of the three so far that have had a crack at the Australian dollar. And have I nailed it or? The Australian dollar is actually tip to rise. They're thinking it could even top out at 80 US since coming up. So, um... That would be actually really great for me with a holiday planned to the, to Hawaii. Fantastic. That would be very convenient for me.

Let's hope that happens. Uh, thank you very much, Michael. That's great. I played my first fantasy football league this season and was on top of the table all season, but I lost the final by less than two points. Oh! And it was because my, I had my three key players will play for the Packers. the quarterback Rogers running back in wide receiver,

Devonti Adams, and they got benched with like eight minutes to go because they were flogging the other team and it was coming up to their playoffs, so they were just resting the players. I'm like, you are freaking kidding me. But that's how that goes. Anyway, and finally James Edwards,

What are you laughing at there? I'm remembering that in last week's episode, we thanked, we brought James Edwards into the Triptage Club, and Dave says he wished Matt was Deadwoods, and so that just made me laugh, sorry. James Edwards, who I recall as being one of the great laughers, we mentioned this most times we bring him up, one of the great laughs is when we were over in London,

and I always think when I say that, that must come across like, no one's laughing if you can remember the name of a laugh. Yeah, that's true. I remember everyone who's laughed at my jokes by name. He was just a particularly at the Bill Murray show, he just had a riotous laugh and I met him later. Anyway, so James has the title,

Shushine Shop Sally's Supervisor. She sits and shines and shines and sits and shines. Matt, you did so well there. Yeah, did I pass that test? Yeah, I reckon you did. James has asked a question writing, team, I hope you are all well and not getting too down with the COVID. Maybe there are some loose plans for some international live shows in the pipeline.

Anyway, my actual question is, do you believe in aliens or anything supernatural, or have you had any supernatural experiences? And then he answers his own question. Do you want to hear his answer first? Yeah, absolutely, I do. To answer my own question, I've had some strange experiences, which could be described as supernatural. And I think it's unlikely we are completely alone in the universe, but have no evidence to back this up.

Love the show, keep doing what you're doing, and I hope to see you soon, James. X, X, X.X. Geez, a little bit vague there on what your supernatural experiences were. But, yeah, I would agree. I'm like, in my head, I'm like, universe is so freaking big. Yeah, it's so unlikely that we are the only things living in the universe, And all we've done with that is, like, made some roads and laws. And we have to get permits for things. You know what I mean?

Sometimes I'm like, fuck, you know, we've made all of this up. Yeah, it's a funny. And why have we chosen to make that up? It's a dumb rule. So, yeah, I believe there's got to be something out there. I don't think they're close. You know, they're not, you know, just on the next planet. But there's got to be something else out there, surely.

That's our figure. But, I mean, I'm not at all. science guy. Yeah, me either. And I don't think they're there like and they are aware of us and they're coming to kill us. Like every like alien movie. I don't think they're probably going. You're going to something out there?

Nah. Yeah, they're probably thinking of the same thing. Yeah. Or they're moss, you know? Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, wow, they made roads.

I feel like supernatural things, you know, like I remember there have been funny coincidences through my life, I'm sure. The one time I reckon I've, I remember my, when. my granddad died, I could have sworn that he was sitting at the end of my bed one night that week. I could feel him there. And like the lights were off. I couldn't see, but I could feel that he was there.

And now I just think I've probably created that to comfort myself at the time. But it felt super real at the time. Even if you were dreaming, even if it was sort of an imagination and like, who cares? Yeah. How cool is that that our brains can do that? Yeah, I love the idea. I wish it was true. Yeah.

I'd love there to be, you know, more to life. That'd be lovely. But I just can't quite get my head to believe it. Yeah. Yeah. How about you, do you recall any? Nothing really. I think it's a similar kind of thing of like, you know, weird little coincidences

or assigning meaning to coincidences. And then if that brings comfort, so be it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Cucaburas to me are like a, that's a sign of my partner's dad who's gone. Right. I'm always like, oh, there he is. Yeah.

There was one like at his funeral. There was a couple of them at his funeral. And then there was, first time I visited the grave, I could hear, I heard a Cucabur. And so now every time I hear a Cuccahubara, I think of him. And that's really nice. That's great. And it's probably not him reincarnated as a Cucabarer. But if it brings any kind of comfort, then I think that's nice.

At Grandad's funeral, for some reason we, as a family, we picked this song from, I think it was called Autumn Leaves. I can't remember, but, and there were just lyrics in the song. It was like the time of the year and it just like, all these things were like, it's like, oh, wow, that's eerie, how much it connects. So, you know, we made it connect to him and what we were going through. and then as that song played as he was at the end of the funeral, an autumn leaf floated down and landed on the coffin. No way. And it just, you know, like obviously a coincidence,

but it just felt everyone's like, holy shit. Yeah, that's beautiful. I mean, it's giving me tinglesing about it. Yeah, that's amazing. But yeah, thanks. That's a great question. Thank you, James. Thanks, James.

And thanks to Michael Jacob and Brian. Also, just a little shout out. A few brags in there and love to see them. Yeah, that's right. These are absolutely shameless brags. You know, especially in Australia, we're not very good at, like, talking about good things that have happened to us. So if you've got something great, go for it.

Give us a brag. I love it. Love dear brag. Yeah, especially when you're asking for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When people are wedging him into a conversation. Yeah, it's so interesting. Sorry, you lost your job.

Anyway, I... I still have mine, and I'm doing quite well. I just got a promotion. The next thing we like to do is thank a few of our great supporters, as some of our other supporters who are on the shoutout level or above. These people have been waiting a year or so. We just read these out in order of when people sign up. Jess, you normally come up with a bit of a game here.

That's true. What they invented? Oh, yeah, great. Maybe. So, yeah, can you just quickly recap headies? It was a frequency hopping technology, yeah. Yeah, I just, I think that's so amazing. Fuck, but this means we're going to have to think up things.

Yeah, but I think. That is right in our wheelhouse We're not the engineers No But we can think of up Yeah All right So if I could

I've got nine here already Because we normally do three each But I'll do five How about that? You do four? Okay So to hog First I'd love to thank

From reservoir Here in Melbourne, Victoria, Emmelask Oh, Malesque Because everyone like on Patreon

You pick your own and it's your username or whatever. So we get some names that, I mean, that might just be their full name. But come up with like a way that you could be. Because I'm looking at a whiteboard right now, right? I'm sitting in a comfortable chair and I'm in a good thinking position. And if I had an idea, I would have to get up. I would have to go over, find a marker, go, oh, this one's dry.

I've got to find another one. Call someone, say, where do we keep the whiteboard markers? Yes. Then I have to go to the whiteboard. By this time, I've forgotten my idea. Yeah. So, MLS has actually come up with a way that you can sort of telepathically, not telepathically, but you know how like Stephen Hawking had that sort of computer technology where it used his eyes.

It's that sort of thing on a whiteboard. So you can just sit there, note down all your ideas just by looking at the whiteboard. Yeah, fantastic. So handy for like, you know, busy mums as well. You know, making dinner for the family. Look at the, oh, I'm out of garlic. Yeah. And then just look at the little shopping list.

Garlic's added to it. Okay. Yeah, I think that's great. I think that should be pretty easy to do. It's good for scientists and busy moms and no one else. We'll get the boffins onto it. Teachers, that'd be really handy. Yeah.

I mean, I really think there'd be an application for nearly anyone on this. Don't you agree? I reckon just scientists, teachers, busy moms, I think. No, you're right. No, dad's allowed. Thank you very much, MLS. Yeah, school kids at, You know, they have to write lines.

No. Well, how are they going to work on their penmanship then, Matt? Yeah, that's true. Okay? Well, they won't need to anymore. Teachers have done their time. But this is, like, it's so funny, like, we stick with these things. We don't do that anymore.

We don't have to work on our horse and cart skills anymore. Yeah, that's right. But, you know, we do have to teach the children how to start a fire with just two twigs. I imagine the kids of today, they're never probably going to have to learn how to drive. You know, by the time, little kids are 18. It's probably all self-driving kids of. cars, right? Kids these days.

Oh my god. Kids never have to learn how to drive a car. Oh my god, Mum, you're so old school. You're driving a car. It'll be a hobby thing. I'm going for a drive. Ooh, La Dita.

A bit fun. Like people who can still develop film. Yeah. Like, oh. You're going into your dark room. Oh, hello. Hello. I don't know.

A whole room just for being, for no lights. Mom's going for a drive manually. All right, grandma. I'd also love to thank from Rosetta. in Tasmania. It sounds beautiful. David Loring. David Loring.

David Loring invented teleportation. No way. That's so handy. Because I mean, everyone's, people have thought of the idea, but he actually made it happen. I feel like the invention

is going to get worse and worse as we go on. Are you feeling that as well? We've gone big. Yeah, well, I feel like so far they've improved. We went from jotting ideas down to physically moving yourself from one place to,

It's amazing. I think they're going to get better and better. Okay. We're trending upwards, Bob. You got so defensive. How dare you? Well, I mean, you actually came up with an idea and I stole like a one of the ones that. Well, no, you didn't steal anything.

At this stage, it was just a concept. That's right. But David Loring made it a reality. And we thank him for that because the airline industry, they're all gone. Yeah. You've put a lot of people out of work. Buses, trams, all pointless. Pilots, everyone.

I hate David Lurring. But, you know. You're on dartboards in airport lounges around the world. And they put him on the dartboard just by looking at it. Thank you, David. I'd also love to thank from Brown Hill in Victoria, Paige Winkle. Page Winkle. I got to say, Paige, that's a fucking great name.

Fantastic. Oh my God, Paige Winkle. Brown Hill as well. Brown Hill's great. Victoria's great. Brown Hill, it's like, how inspired were they when they were naming that town? Um, Braud Hill.

Page Winkle, you got anything here? Because I'm thinking Paige Winkle invented a new sport. Oh yeah? Uh, it sort of takes the best parts of croquet. Yes. Fishing.

Yes. Hookie. That is, no, that's taking time of school. Uh, hockey. Hockey.

What's that game where you throw little rings on a book? Oh yeah, that's like, that's also hooky. Yeah. Uh, and, uh, snooker.

Whoa. And combined. all that into a brand new game that is taking the world by storm and it's called and it's called Flow bobo boom

you made that noise and then look at me with the look of continue like that was everything was fine noise

I said the name of the sport And you got to say it like that. Yeah, every time. If you say Flo Bobo, people are you? I'm not following you at all. Great invention. Page. On Address Unknown, can only assume deep within the fortress of the moles.

It is Katie. Katie invented a type of cardboard box. That actually... That's a hot start. This is a sexy invention. A cardboard box, okay. It's a type of cardboard box that has the capability to break itself down. Because, you know, when you're moving into a new place, you might get some new furniture,

some flat pack, whatever, you end up with just a shit ton of boxes. You cramming them into the recycling bin. Oh, God, and it takes forever. And you've got to, like, some of them are quite big and you've got to cut them up into small pieces or you've got to just take them to the tip. And it's just annoying. These boxes have, like, a button on them. You press that.

they break themselves down, fold themselves up, all nice and neat, and just often they're recycling. And it may seem like a simple thing, but I mean, the guy who invented the little cardboard holder for a coffee cup is a billionaire. This is a great box. Billionaire. We all know his name. I'm trying, you're being so mean to me today.

I like her. Katie could have invented it so it accurate. When you said it broke down, I assumed you meant like into mulch that you put on your garden. That too. That as well. Yeah. So you push your button and it fold.

down into a little box and then you throw it on the garden. No, you don't even have to throw it on the garden. It has little legs that can't put it. It walks to the nearest, the nearest bit of turf or grass or garden that needs. It finds it. It buries itself. It goes, oh, they could use a little nutrients over here. Nourishes the earth.

Yeah. And that is all Katie's work. Sure, you could press a button and use that box again, but not. It makes sense that Katie, from deep within the fortress of the moles, invented something that does self-burry itself. Exactly right. And finally from me, I'd love to thank from Fremant, a beautiful Fremant. It's all been Australia so far, if you assume the Fortress of the Moles is in Australia. I'd love to thank Christy Filippic.

Philipich. Christy Filippic, who invented, you know, horses. Yeah. Well, she invented... Small ones? No, not small ones, tiny ones. How tiny? How tiny? Like pocket size.

Horses? Yeah. And you add water to them and they grow, they're not, they're AI, but if you feed them water, they grow to full horse size, but they're in your pocket. So you can, you know, you ride a robot horse to work. And then... How do you make it small to put it back in your pocket? You go, whoa, Nelly. Oh, okay, yeah, that makes it small.

And then they shrink down. Why don't you just say like, hiya, to make it big? Well, that's a good, that's a good note. That is a good note for Christy. Christy maybe take that on board because not everyone has water. And what happens if it rains? Yeah, and then your pockets suddenly explodes. Yeah.

That's such a good idea, though. Yeah, it's a great idea. It's just a little, just. A tweaking. Only one tweak there that we're suggesting, maybe just another word cue for it to. Every time I water the plants in my house and I'm carrying the watering cans through the house, always like mime that I'm watering the dog to make him a big dog.

Yeah, well, there you go. A bit of fun. Maybe that's where Christy got the idea. He's always like, what are you doing? From watching you, water your dog. Stop watching me, Christy. But the horse idea, very good. Would you like to thank a few of our great supporters?

I would absolutely love to. From Stanmore in New South Wales, I would love to thank Brendan Myhill. Brendan Myhill. What is Brendan invented? You got something here? Brendan has invented, nah, what I was going to say is essentially a walkie-talkie. Well, yeah, I was thinking the same thing.

It's a walkie-talkie for smells. Oh. So you go, oh, my God, this beautiful scent. Say you're going, oh, I really wish someone could smell this beautiful flower. Yeah. So you just walkie-talkie it. And you're like, check out the smell over. They can also hear.

And then, yeah, you just have a sniff. Do you think people would use that for, like, a walkie smelly. Like siblings, for example, might use that to trick their siblings into smelling their farts. Yeah, you go, hey, check out this beautiful smell. Okay. I just created it in the lab. And they smell, they go, the lab's what I call my butt.

Yeah. It would be good for like when you're shopping for a new perfume and you want your friend's opinion. What do you think of this one? They'll say too woody for you. Yeah, that's very woody. Yeah. And you go, yeah, you're right.

I was just letting you smell it. tree. Got you. Got you. You passed the test. Well done. Now here's a real scent for you to try. So Brendan, inventing the walkie smelly.

The walkie smelly. I would also like to thank from Beaconsfield here in Victoria, Lydia. Lydia. I love the name Lydia. Beaconsfield, that's just outside Melbourne, isn't it? Yeah, not too far. Lydia has invented a, you know, like people always like Google their symptoms and stuff.

Yeah. Dr. Google. Yeah, like WebMD and stuff like that. And people are always like, oh, it's, I'm dying. Well, Lydia has actually invented a testing system. It's sort of like, it was inspired actually by like rapid tests and stuff. And you just, you shove it up your nose and it just tells you everything what's wrong with you.

That's so good. That's got a doctor's hater. That's amazing, Lydia. I reckon, yeah, I felt like that was, that feels like the future, right? but the future is today because of Lydia's invention. Exactly right. Elizabeth Holmes tried to do like blood, those tiny little blood. No, Lydia's like, step aside.

And you wear like your watch. Yeah. And it just gives you a reading. And so it catches cancer straight away. It catches, you go, oh, you're a bit low on vitamin D or you need a bit more calcium or whatever. And it tells you exactly what you're missing. Yeah. Or what you need or what's happening with your body.

That's amazing, Lydia. That's going to save lives. A very commendable invention. Well done. Brendan feels silly for the walkie smelly now, but... But, you know... There's something for everyone. Lydia did get to her lab that day by catching her horse.

So... So there you go. And I would also love to thank. Next, I would love to thank from Quebec in Canada. Sam Sutherland. Sam Sutherland. Sam invented the vegetable pig. Yep.

You know, so vegetarians, vegans, et cetera. Some of them miss meat. Some of them would love to eat meat. People say I could go vegetarian if it wasn't for bacon, they say. People say that all the time. So what Sam has done, he's, or she has got the technology now to make vegetables sentient

so they feel they think they have emotions but also has been able to make them in the shape and taste and smell like pigs that's incredible they're basically pigs in every way apart from they don't have organs

and stuff yeah right so people who so people who miss me who miss me yeah And only vegetarians or vegan because they're grossed out by organs. They don't care about killing things with feelings. Yeah, it's fine. So it's a neat. It's a small market, but there is a market there.

There's a gap in that market. Sam's found that gap. So it's for vegetarians, vegans. Does it taste like pig? Taste like pig. So they miss that taste. They miss the taste. And they also don't care about killing.

Well, they actually, they miss the idea that their food costs a lot. Yeah, so it's not even that they don't mind it, they actually, they crave. They're just a bit grossed out by organs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that. I get that. So this is the perfect middle ground. I think I might be in that group actually, yeah. I do miss that most of my food just comes from stuff that's grown in the ground.

I know, I mean, this helps prove the vegetables can feel and think. So really. That's incredible. That's a beautiful invention. Really. Really creating a freak of nature here. And, you know, and then that, that provides more jobs, doesn't it? More farmers out there with their vegetable pigs.

Yeah, yeah. They're a low cost kind of. Yeah, they don't have to, they don't eat. No, because they're vegetables. So you don't need big paddocks and stuff. Yeah. So you can factory farm them. Yeah.

It's awful for them. They don't feel good. The pigs have a horrific time. So, like, honestly, Sam, I don't know. It's a mixed sort of result with, I love what you're going for though. But again, like, that's what good business is about is finding those niche gaps in the market and being the only one to fill them. Yeah, that's right.

So thank you, Sam, and the world thanks you. Yeah. And finally, I would love to thank from Williamsport in PA, Pennsylvania. Yeah, go penguins. I would love to thank Andrew Schuller. Or go flyers, depending on where in Pennsylvania you are. I got called up on that out on that ages ago. Whenever Pennsylvania came up, I'd always say, go penguins.

Someone's like, if you're closer to Philadelphia, you'll actually go for the flyers, and that's, they're our arch enemies. Sorry. Sorry. What a faux par. That's embarrassing for you. Go faux par's. What is Andrew invented?

This is the last one. Let's come up with it together. So I'll give you the first, I'll give you sort of the overall thing, and then you sort of zone in on it. Okay. It is new technology with a microchip that allows you to feel love. Oh my God. Yeah. This is a big one.

This is actually really big. I've been wondering, what is love for so long. And so many people like you, Matt, have been. Have been wondering, what is love? What is love? I ask you that mainly off pod. Yeah. But I ask you that all the time.

All the time. Just what is love? And I say, Matt, not now. I don't know how to explain it to you. I don't know how to explain this feeling. Yeah. And now... Because you love, love, love, don't you?

Oh, God, I love love love. You're one of the biggest love lovers I know. Yeah, I'd say that's about true. And what is that even mean? How do you love love love? Yeah. What is love to love? Yeah.

I want a love to love to love. Yeah. I love the idea of loving to love, but I don't even know what that means. I know. I know. Well, you've got to get onto Andrew's new technology. It is incredibly expensive. But for so many people who never,

quite find love or, you know, too career focused. Get to the end of their lives and realize they have nothing. And the work won't be there with them on their deathbed. They're the only people who can afford this invention. You've got to have worked for a very long time in a high paying job. And yeah, it'll allow you to feel love for up to five minutes. It's crazy. It's so good.

Andrew, you're doing God's work. I'm kidding. Can I get a sample, Andrew? Just on a... Please. Please. He needs this. Thank you so much.

Thank you, Andrew, Sam, Lydia, Brendan, Christy, Katie, Paige, David and MLS. I think that's the most Aussies we've had. Yeah, that was huge. Brings a tear to my eye. It's gorgeous. God bless Australia and Quebec and Pennsylvania. We are good. We are good.

We are good. We are Goert. And we are Goertie. But honestly, like, we are Gert, aren't we? We are so freaking Gert. We are so freaking Gert. We couldn't get any more Gert. And people not in Australia are like, what are they talking about?

It's one of the key lines in our national anthem. We're Gert by C, okay? We are so fucking Gert right now. All right. Well, that brings to the final thing we like to do. We thank a few of our long-term supporters. They're welcomed into the Triptage Club. These are people who have been on the shout-out.

level or above for three straight years. Bob, you're normally serving a drink in this club. Yeah. So I'm standing on the door. I'm the door man. I'm opening up the velvet rope. I've got the doorless. I'm going to welcome these people in.

Once they come in, they'll grab a drink off you at the bar. What are you serving up today? What's the Hetty Lamar? Austria is known for red and white wine, although white wine is more commonly known. And so maybe a reasling. Or reasoning, yeah. A reasoning based cocktail of today.

Oh, that's fantastic. And Dave normally books a band. Do you have a band? Oh. What about the future heads? Oh, that's good. The future heads who are a band. I can't.

I think they had a triple J hit back in the day. I can't remember what it was. But they had a great Christmas song called Christmas was better in the 80s. There is a band from Sydney called Hedy Lamar and they're an angry girl band of your dreams, echoing letters to Cleo with B-52 harmonies. Oh, that sounds great. That sounds great.

Let's get them on board. All right. Future Heads, you got the flick. Get out of here. So Hedy Lamar's playing. Grab yourself a Riesling. Now, I'm going to welcome, there's four names today. Dave normally is the hype man.

Jess. I'm going to have to hype. You're up for the hype position. But I don't want any of your classic negativity. No, no. I'm going to step in your role. You're going to hype me. Yeah.

Okay. All right. So let's do it. These are the four. This is a big finish for the show. First off, I'd love to thank from Aberdeen in Scotland. It's Andrew McLeod. The best dancer I've ever seen.

Yes, Jess. You are naming us so much better than Dave. From Reynoldsburg, Reynoldsburg in Ohio. God's country in the United States is Jared Schaefer. Jared Schaefer is here. Yes, Bob. Yes. you're doing it.

How does they do this? And from Gainesville in Florida in the United States, it's Linda Moulton. Oh, is that molten lava? It's hot in here. No, Linda's here. And finally, from Warrington in Virginia. In the United States, it's Taylor Edgar. From Warrington, I'm Warrington for nothing, because Taylor's here.

Jared Shaver really got hard done by in that whole thing. think of anything for Jared Schaefer Jared Schaefer from Reynoldsburg in Ohio

Ohio my Lord yes oh my goodness oh I'm so happy Jared Schaefer

you are making me I'll never be late for you because you're always the first thing am I to do list yes that's fine

it's fine like I'm calling Jared would be the yes that's right yes Matt thank you Taylor Linda Jared and Andrew

welcome into the club make yourselves at home and enjoy a reasoning and the great angry music of Hedy Lamar. That brings to the end of the episode. Bob, anything we need to say before we move on. Just to remind people again... With our lives. Just remind people again that we are doing our quiz show at the Melbourne Comedy Festival

and also alongside that we are doing four live podcasts in Melbourne, Sunday of 3rd of April, 10th of April, 17th of April, 24th of April, 845, the European Beer Cafe. They're always such a good time, and we would absolutely love to see you there. So grab your tickets and, you know, secure your place. Yeah. At least one or two of the shows will have some of your favorite guest hosts from over the years. Maybe 5th and 6th Beatle type people. Maybe.

Maybe. We don't know. We can't see. We'll see. But thanks so much for listening again. And, yeah, we'll catch you next week. Dave, we'll be back. It'll be the classic three

Back in your feed Once more Until then I will say Later Bye Don't forget to sign up To our tour mailing list

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