Do Go On - 335 - 13 Days as a Beatle (with Cameron James)

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

Have you ever dreamt of getting the call up to join the biggest band in the world? Well for Jimmie Nicol, this dream became a reality in 1964! Comedian Cameron James joins us to tell the story!Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Come to our live podcasts in April: https://www.trybooking.com/BXSIVSee Cam's show: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/electric-dreamsSee our quiz show live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/the-quiz-showSee Matt and Alasdair at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/honk-honk-hubba-hubba-ring-a-ding-ding Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Welcome to another episode of Do Go One. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always. I'm here with Jess Perkinson, Matt Stewart. Hello, Dave.

I'm about speaking up the mic. Hey, Dave. Hopefully I fully forgot what we were doing. Which is wild. And we are also joined by a guest who knows how to hold a microphone, hopefully. Hello, Cameron James. Hi, everybody.

Just a bit of context. Matt is in a milk haze at the moment. because he's currently two or three gulps into a, what is that, a liter of... No, no, 750, man, I'm not. Sorry, 750 mils. Keep it reasonable. Of dare, double espresso, rabaster and arabica coffee. You say that's reasonable, but how many did you buy?

Did you get two? I got two, yeah. It's usually a two for. This is a two for eight. Yeah, right. Yeah, well, yeah, absolutely. I mean, you could. One one for five.

You could say no to all of it. The second one basically is almost half price. How much milk do you consume? you know, day to day. Well, about 750 meals. I've got a handy way to remember that. If you want to see Matt drink milk live,

well, you can probably, he'll probably be doing that at our live podcast in Melbourne next month. We're doing our four podcasts at the European Beer Cafe on Sunday evenings is the perfect time to drink 750 meals of milk. I mean,

normally Matt would have a couple of beers on the pod. I think it would be unnerving if all of a sudden he just had a pint of milk. But let's give it a go. Slowly coddling on stage under the hot lights. Finish it with a spoon. We talk about something like from history and Matt's just in there going, it starts with milk ends with yogurt, huh? It's disgusting.

Well, everyone want to be part of this experiment. Come to the European Beer Cafe, April 3rd, 10, 17 and 24. all these are Sunday nights at 8.45pm and you can get a season past. We can come to all four shows cam for the price of three. And is this just available to me or is this available to listeners of the show? Yeah, you can...

Everyone, actually. I'll make that open for everyone. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. So I think that's only fair. That's honestly a better deal than two for eight iced coffees. So just saying.

Jeez, that makes it a very, very good deal. I'm listening, as Fraser would say. And we should also mention we're doing three shows at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Do you go on The Quiz Show on Monday nights, April 4, 11 and 18. I believe the first two are now sold out, or very close to sold out, but you can still get tickets to April 18. So why not come along on your Easter Monday?

Fantastic. Celebrate the rising of Jesus. Yeah, with some quiz. With a quiz. A comedy quiz. Learn, laugh. And remember Jesus. With us.

The big three. Now, Cam, you're also doing a show at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. You're performing on Easter Monday? I am, yes, I am performing on Easter Monday because I also like to celebrate the rising Jesus and the rising of ticket sales across the board over that Easter weekend. Always famously the busiest weekend for comedians. Come and support us, please. Don't go out.

Don't leave the city. Don't hang out with your family, for God's sake. Hang out with a stranger in a room talking about, you know, weird jacking off experiences they've had or whatever the fuck we talk about. Cam's top 10. Yeah. So I'm in Melbourne for the Comedy Festival, April 12 to 24 at the Comedy Republic at 7pm. And I'm doing a show called Electric Dreams.

And if you Google it, that information will come up. Whoa. Electric, you're the number one electric dreams result. Actually, you know what? Let's do a little experiment. I have a feeling this song will come up first. Do you feel you have to qualify it with Cameron James in Electric Dreams? Maybe, yeah.

Okay, if you Google Electric Dreams just on its own, a TV series from 2017 comes up first, but it does star Brian Cranston, so I've got to give it up to Cranny. Second result is Electric Dreams 1984, the film, but it does star Bud Court, so I do have to give it up to Bud Court. Yeah, you can't compete with Bud.

Yeah, and then the song by Philip Oakley and Georgia and Morrill, Rhoda and then a few other things and but if you add Cameron James and comedy I'm the first thing that comes up. Really? Yeah, you beat out Cranston. Yeah, I beat out Cranston. Actually, hang on, let me check.

Bug Court does get listed before me there still somehow. And you'll do it. I imagine you're doing Sydney Comedy Festival though. Yeah, Sydney Comedy Festival in some time, somewhere. I think May, May, you. Yes, yes, May 12 to 15 in Sydney, May 4 to 7 in Perth, and May 17 to 22 in Brisbane, the city of Angels. So I'm all over the shop doing this Electric Dreams show. I'm very excited to do it.

Oh, that's awesome. Can't I want to say it. Yeah, well, good luck getting a ticket now because ticket sales are flying off the shelves after this plug. People do think they're saying Bud court. No refunds. Yeah, no rematch. The Great Bud of Court. As a cinephile, you would know all about his work.

I've seen Harold and Maud, which is one of his films. Okay. That is a great movie. It is a great movie. And he's also in some Wes Anderson stuff. So there you go. And Wes Anderson, he is a filmmaker. Well, I think of him more as an oruteur, but, yeah.

Potato, potatoes. Okay, we're talking movies on the podcast today. I don't know. Well, you're doing the topic, right? Dave, do you want to explain to Cam and everyone else? I've got to pull you over that.

Why you're nailing words like auteur, do you think you could nail your comedy festival of any? Yes. It's called Hit. Don't say Hitler's bunker. That was the working title. No,

it's called Hong Kong Haba Huber Bigha Big Ringia ding ding. You got to be a big red car? I can't. My head wants to go to big red car every time. And it is on at Bard's Apocetary Apothecary. Yes.

Fucking hell. I haven't made it easy with any of this. And it's on the second half of the festival. And that's your split show with Alastair Trambo Virtual. That's right. We're doing comedy there. That's right. Two standups for the price of one.

That's right. Yeah. Monday nights Angus Gordon is playing my role as I'll be doing the quiz with you two. Yeah. Sorry about that. Yeah, sorry. But yeah, I think links to all this stuff will be. I'll link to all that stuff in the description.

Yeah. If you've just been skipping 30 seconds at a time, we're about to start the show. And also, fair enough. You've known. Yeah, I get it. Fair enough. But check out the links in the show notes if you want to see any of us and all of us at the Comedy Festival. Fantastic.

And the way the show works, as Matt was trying to ask me to explain, is we're taking in turns, Cam. Hopefully you know this bit to report on a topic, often suggested by a listener. We go away, do a bit of research, bring it back to the others who don't know what the topic is going to be. you did a fantastic report last year, one of our favorites of the year with Alexi Toliopoulos, or maybe the year before, can't remember now? I don't know. It all feels like a blur, isn't it?

But you reported on the Guinness Book of Records. It's a fantastic report. You've got a brand new one here. I think that Matt might know what it is. I can't remember, but I know you gave me two options, and I said they were both great. But they were both vaguely related to your show. Is that right?

Yeah, that's right. Well, yes, because I'm, my show, Electric Dreams, starring Bud Court, and Brian Crensen, is based on my teenage years when I was attempting to be a musician. I wrote a lot of songs, very serious songs, and I recently have discovered the songbooks with all of that music in it, and I'm playing them live on stage and telling the stories behind them.

So I wanted to do something musical for this episode. I'm going to come see a show, I'm going to laugh a lot, but I'm also going to cringe a lot, because I was exactly that same person. Oh my God, some of the songs. What kind of music were you writing? So it was punk at first, and then it became an emo type thing.

Yes, yes. And then we pushed through to a sort of a needy rock sound. Okay, right. So the natural progression. Punk, who are your punk guys? Who are like my heroes? Yeah. I love no effects, rancid, Pennywise.

So California punk. I love that sort of stuff. And then emo, did you dip your toes into emo folk, your bright eyes, your dashboard confessions. Still love bright eyes, absolutely. Still love bright eyes. You two are feeling some real kindred energy.

Yeah, I can see what the... I had similar taste as well. And then indie rock, where did we end up? Where did our music taste end up? For a while there were those bands that had like, that were obviously unsustainable because they had 60 members. Oh yeah, like Arcade Fire. Yeah, there's broken social scene.

Four drummers for some reasons. I always wanted to be one of those bands. It looked like fun. There was a Newcastle band where I grew up called the Sea Bellies who were kind of ripping on. off arcade fire and broken social scene. It was about 13 members. And they'd, during their set, they'd all swap instruments and they'd be, one guy,

I'd be playing the drums for a bit. Then he'd get up and go over to the keyboards. And I'd always watch them and be like, fuck, that looks fun. I want to be in that. It just looks like a group of friends. That's all I wanted now that I look like. A group of friends that all liked the same thing. I mean, it did involve 10 people sleeping in a single hotel room.

Oh, God. Imagine splitting the money you made from the gig. It's like $6 each. And half a pint each. Oh, it's a nightmare. Well, yeah, so I wanted to, because I've been spending so much time in this musical world for my show, I wanted to do a musical story or report for you guys today. I did have two options.

One I told you about, and I might save that in case I ever am invited back onto this blessed program. Hey, hey, you are always welcome here. All right, I'll do it again tomorrow. But the one I'm going to do for you today, I'm very keen about it. I'm very keen because it feels like a movie. Okay. Like the story of this report feels like it would be a feature film.

Maybe something Wes Anderson could put on the screen. Well, you tell me, you know all about theuteur and all that sort of stuff. I mean, you love that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's real. Any other cinematic lingo you can drop in? Yeah.

First AD. This guy's been on set. He knows. He gets stuff. I've done an adult too. All right. Should I dive in? Yes.

Okay. I'm going to start a little bit dramatically, but then we'll ease off into sort of normal talking in a sec. Okay. What if an ordinary person with dreams of rock superstardom got the call up to become a member of the most famous band in the world. Would they rise to meet the challenge? Would they lose touch with themselves?

Would their lives ever be the same? This is the synopsis for the 2001 movie Rockstar, starring Mark Wahlberg, as a normal guy who becomes lead singer in a famous metal band called Steel Dragon. It also stars Jennifer Aniston and the guy from The Wire as a heavy metal guitarist. It's a really bad movie, one and a half stars.

But it was one of my favorite movies as a teenager because I must admit it's a great premise. Do you all agree? What if an ordinary guy got to join the most famous band in the world? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a pretty solid premise for a flick. And I mean, it kind of makes sense that this was like a favorite for you as a team when you were, you know. Hoping this would happen.

Exactly. Right. You're like, see, it is possible. Yeah. I watched Mark Warburg. do it and I thought that could be me with Franz Ferdinand or acting monkeys. You see a lot of yourself in Mark Wolpe.

Still do to this day. I'm very similar to him. There's a few sports movies I think that have a similar kind of like. Anyone who's like a nobody who just all of a sudden is possessed with a touch of genius? Yeah.

Airbud. It's very similar to that. An ordinary dog. Dogs care playing basketball. Well there's nothing in the rule. Bok about this. been the rule quotes as a dog can't play. That's my favorite little loophole in all those movies.

There's always a guy going through the rule of being frantically being like, well, technically chimps can play football. Did we do want a chimp playing football movie with you? I don't think we did it. Well, I'm going to bring it back. I'm bringing Primates back. So if you can find that movie, we should definitely do it. I feel like it's something.

Anyway. All those movies are from the author Robert Vince. Yeah, Robert Vince. Oh, right. Is he the airbag guy? Well, he, yeah, he was involved in that universe and he was. he split off to make his own films. Okay.

Including most valuable primate, most vertical primate. And most extreme primate. Okay. Great. Great. So he, yeah, he is, yeah. I mean, if you see it, you know what we're talking about. Absolutely.

I mean, I'll check him out. It's very specific decisions he made that no one else would make. And that's what I think in autur is. That's an ulterior. Okay, good, good, good. Okay, this was one of my favorite movies as a teenager. And it is a premise that is shared with the story that I'm going to tell you today. The story of Jimmy Nicol.

Has anyone here ever heard of Jimmy Nichol? No. It feels like I have, but I haven't. Have I? It's just one of those names that sounds familiar. Yeah, it could be anybody, right? Just a bit of a bit. Just a bit off spin for England?

Is that him? No, he's not a bloody cricketer, mate. Take your sport and shove it. This is a music, rock and roll. It does sound English though Yeah, well you're correct He is British I'll give you a little bit of a

Oh Jimmy Nicol Oh my gosh This is just No I bet have a go Cam it's fun All right Oh I'm Jimmy Nicol in here Yeah it is actually pretty good Yeah now that I've done it

It is actually awesome Dave do you want have a go Nah Come on That's fair I'm Jimmy Nicol All right everyone Come on down

I'm a miso or something Yeah. Fuck, that's pretty good. And you're spot on, here's a music. I'll give you a little bit of info about Jimmy Nicol. James George Nicol, born 3rd of August, 1939 in London, England. James George sucks, doesn't it? Come on.

Parents didn't think that through. Two kings' names. Beautiful name. James George. James George Nichol. Oh, that sucks. How often he's saying the full name? That's true.

When he's in trouble, I guess. Yeah. James George Nicol! I hate it. Sorry, James, but... I don't know if he... Jimmy George. Jimmy George is better.

Jimmy George is... Jimmy George is a real gangster. Yeah, Jimmy George... Guy Ritchie movie. Do you know Jimmy George Nickel? Yeah, see, that's alright. Dave loves Statham movies. I started watching one the other night.

I didn't get far through it. Which one? Jason's third? The Rath of Khan? No, the Rath of Man? Oh, boy. You haven't even heard of it. You're a big Staper fan.

I mean, they all said. very similar and they all are very similar. It was real weird. Right. It was like it felt like all the actors were doing it at gunpoint or something. They all looked nervous and unconvinced. Was it one of those really cheap action movies knocked off for streaming or whatever? Oh, maybe.

Because they probably only are doing it at gunpoint. Yeah, right. I think they film a lot of those in like Eastern Europe somewhere and there's no union and there's mafia hanging around set. Okay, yeah, okay. That makes sense. They have a day to shoot all that. their scenes of shit.

So they're probably just freaking out. That makes sense. That's how it felt. Yeah, good, good. I mean, I've never heard of it

and I'm a movie guy, you know? I'm just looking at it. It's a Guy Ritchie movie from last year and it also stars post Malone so you know it's good. Holy shit. Wow. He's an actor now post Malone.

It's that easy, folks. If you want to get into the biz. Tattoo a bunch of bullshit on your face and copy kid rock for a bit. All right. Here we go. Jimmy George Nichol. Oh, yeah. Sorry, mic drop. Milk drop.

Milk drop. Jimmy was interested in music as a young kid. In his teenage years, he began to focus on studying jazz, and in particular, jazz drumming. And by the time he was 18 years old, he'd become a fixture of London's skiffle and early rock and roll scene as a drummer at the Two Eyes coffee bar. During this time, he was talent spotted by a local music manager

and impresario Larry Palm. who quickly signed the young musician and put him to work as a drummer for hire in many local acts. This does feel like a movie. Yeah, see? And I've cobbled this together from many different articles and I've definitely arranged it in a way that feels like a pitch for a film. So if anyone wants to be a part of this project, I am looking for investors. Now, you're a music guy, Dave. So here's some of the acts that Jimmy George Nichol performed with.

I want to know if you know any of them. I'll just rattle them off. Colin Hicks and the Cabin Boys. Vince Igor and the Quiet Three. Oh, that's a great name. The Oscar Rabin Band. These are all Skiffle bands. The Cyril Stapleton Big Band.

He also did session work with the Ted Heath Orchestra and the Johnny Dankworth Orchestra. You'll cross any of those. Big fan of Dankworth's work. I love Johnny Dankworth. Did any bands apart from the Beatles? break out of the skiffle scene? I don't think so. I think skiffle is like,

no one talks about it as a genre cycle. There's some people who never moved on from skiffle. They're still saying it. Skiffle to a door. It's such a fun name for a genre as well. It's great. You got on a skiffle fest this year, by the way?

Get your tickets now. All right. Okay. So I'll move into some more familiar territory. and you've actually teased where this is going in a way. In 1963, Jimmy got hired as a session drummer for a cheap cash-in covers album called Top Six Teenagers Choice.

This was kind of a big thing back in the 1960s. If someone had a huge pop hit like Herman's Hermits or The Beach Boys or Elvis or something, the studio would try to make as much money as they could out of the song by licensing that song to other covers musicians and session musicians, and selling it alongside the original in record stores.

So if you looked at the charts from 1962, you'd see whatever the number one hit is, like some shit from some skiffle band we've never heard of. And then like down like the 70s, 80s, whatever, there's just other cover versions of that same song lower in the top one. So strange. So they've accidentally bought. Yeah.

Like a knockoff's Transformers movie or something that grandma got. Yeah, someone's grandma was accidentally gone and then got, Oh, yeah, I think this is it. Yeah. I have a feeling that is the market. Yeah. I feel like that's what they were aiming for. Accidental buyers or just like instrumental versions of the song or whatever so people

could sing along at home or whatever the fuck. Really done. There used to be a sheet music chart as well, you know? Oh, yes. People bought the instrumental version, getting the sheet music. They want it all. I used to buy sheet music. Oh, not sheet music, but they'd sell like books of all the chord charts.

for like bands and stuff. I bought all those fucking things. That would sort of notoriously often wrong as well. Yeah, because they're just done by some guy. Some nobody. They're not official. I had the Jeff Buckley one and the... I had a Shania Twain one.

Oh, that's good. Looks like we made it. Could play that, no problem. I love Shania. Hey, who doesn't? She fucking rules. The top six record that Jimmy made or Jimmy was hired to play on was simply called Beatlemania.

exclamation mark and was made up of 12 songs from the first two Beatles albums with Jimmy playing the drum parts as a knock off Ringo and doing a pretty good job and the rest of the band sounding nothing at all

like John Paul and John you can actually you can look it up to be fair drums are probably the easiest bit to imitate to sound like that sounds just like Ringo

hang on let's hear Paul your voice doesn't sound anything like but this Ringo that's the same drum scene I'm really liking this Ringo Have you seen that? There's a video that with Questlove and Dave Grohl and a few other drummers from a few years back

and they're all sitting on Ringo's kit in a like on a white psych just talking about Ringo and like doing little drum fills and stuff saying that's Ringo. You hear that, you know that's Ringo. So I don't know if it is that easy.

I'm a big Ringo defender. Yeah, me too. It's nothing on Ringo. It's just imitating anyone's drum sound is probably easier than imitating a voice. And if you, like, I've listened to this album on YouTube. It's all up on YouTube. Beetlemania, top six, teenagers' choice.

And it's like clear to me, I don't know who the singers were, but it's in my mind they're like way older. They're like guys in their 50s or something who've been session singers for a long time and they're really posh. They don't sound like they're from Liverpool. They're like, well, I saw her stand. thing there.

Like it's really, it's bizarre to listen to it. But with this like kind of rock music to it. Right. Yeah, they're not, they're not doing full Richard cheese or whatever. No,

they're like trying to, the music sounds similar, but the singing sounds, it sucks ass. It's really bad. Is it Richard cheese? You used to do the lounge covers it. I used to love that shit when I was a teenage child.

It's that only lounge. Yeah, lounge. It was so good. Or the Aussie guy used to a, Frank Bennett. There was a few... Oh, really?

Yeah. I guess it was a bit of a thing back then where wouldn't it be funny if we did like boomer music, but about... It was new metal songs or rap songs and stuff. That's funny. And it is officially funny, isn't it? But it's, you know, it's nice. Sometimes you just want a bit of smooth music.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I like smooth music. But you want the lyrics to rock. I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. Yes, Richard Shea's, big fan, big fan. I'll pause the story here just briefly to give everyone at home a little bit of back story

on the Beatles. I know that we know who they are, but you know, your listeners are 12 years old. They've never even heard of the fucking Beatles. So just quickly, the Beatles are a band from Liverpool who had been playing

together for about seven years in England and Germany under various names before they released their debut album, Please Please Please Me in 1963, which became an instant number one hit and catapulted them into European fame. Please note here, not worldwide fame yet. They became so popular in Europe that their manager Brian Epstein booked them into a world tour with hopes of turning them into a global phenomenon. This tour would include 37 shows over 27 days in Denmark, the Netherlands, Hong Kong, Australia, where we are, and New Zealand, and would feature, which is not where we are, but it's similar. It's quite close.

It's right near, it's right around the corner. I'd call them like next door neighbours. Absolutely. I think it's written into the constitution if they want in, they can be in. Yeah, any time. Any time. They just have to give us a call. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Call us up. We are waiting. We don't need visas to go there. We can just go. Yeah. We can just pop over. And they can just come on over. Stay as long as you like.

You know, make yourself with home. As long as you like, as long as the borders are open. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There is a real vibe that I just think New Zealand's the best of us. Absolutely. Big time. Yeah, yeah. They know it too.

Yeah. Look at their prime minister. Yeah, their prime minister is amazing. Their country is beautiful. My God, Lord of the Ring. That's a bit of a backhander against our prime minister. I don't want to get into it. But he's beautiful too.

He's been more respect for the office, please. Okay. So they were going to go on this world tour. They'd already been booked into it. And the world tour would feature them doing two 30-minute shows per day plus a press conference, pretty much just to serve as promo for the records. Their first stop of the tour was the United States of America

where they appeared on the Ed Sullivan TV show. And overnight, they became the most famous band in the world. In fact, that was so huge that they no longer needed to do this pissy little promotional world tour. But the contracts were signed and the money are being. paid and Brian Epstein, the Fifth Beatle, insisted that the four boys embark on this now redundant trot around the globe. Two 30-minute shows a day. Yeah.

That sounds fucked. Yeah, I know. Plus like interviews with all the local press. And it was real teaty. There's footage of them just being fed up with it. Yeah, they hate it. Just because you'd be out of your head. Of course.

Like, they don't know where they are at any point. One night they're in the Netherlands. The next night they're in Hong Kong. You know, they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. They're in Melbourne and all the journalists like, have you tried the coffee? And they're like, sure. Whatever. Whatever.

Please. Please praise our coffee. Well, I mean, they didn't have the two for $8 dollar's dare-ice coffee deal back then. So there was just one problem about this world tour and that problem was that Ringo Starr, the drummer, had gotten sick. On the morning of 3 June, 1964.

You got COVID. The first case of COVID was reported by Ringo Starr. Wow, Ringo Star. Actually close it was tonsillitis Tonsolitis which is very similar because it's also in the throat area Yeah Which is where COVID lives mainly mainly yeah yeah throats and Throats and asses

Ringgist was doing a photo shoot for the Sunday evening post newspaper in Barnes South London when he collapsed due to tonsillitis He was taken to university college hospital Where he was ordered to rest completely And he was told not to go on the world tour. Who collapses from Tonsolite?

This is the 60s though. How about, okay, I'm your doctor. Everything's a little more dramatic. I'm your Dr. Ringo.

Here's a little teaspoon of concrete, mate. Okay. Tough and up, bro. Oh, you collapse from Totsilize.

I've got a bit of a sore throat. Have you ever had it? I've never had it. Yeah, it's awful. Yeah, she's collapsed. It's really bad.

It's really bad. You wouldn't wish it upon your enemies. But, Fuck it, there we go. Tough, that up. But he's a musician. They're artists, they're sensitive. You can picture him going down, you know, hand on the head.

Yeah. I'm not feeling well. Oh, no. I've got bloody tonsillitis. That doesn't even sound like him. I just watched that eight-hour documentary on the Beatles, and I still can't do an impression of these fucking guys. I think you were closer to maybe one of the others.

Yeah, that sounds pretty. You've got to talk Thomas the Tank into. Yeah. I can only say fat controller. That's good. That's pretty good. Yeah, I think I was closer to Paul and artistically as well. Pretty similar.

The creative Beatles, the genius of the Beatles. So he's gone down and the others are gone, oh no, we won't have to play Ringo songs. Oh, no, we're at the movies. Oh, what a tragedy. We won't be singing this on the tour. Oh, bummer. Sorry, rings. Oh, it sucks.

John Paul and George presented. a united front and demanded that the tour be postponed until ringo was better but this bastard brian epstein would not give in the five of them were at an impasse from the other room their producer genius and sixth beetle george martin chimed in because part of his duties as producer involved signing off on any cover versions of beatles songs and as luck would have it he had just listened to and approve the release of a cheap knock-off cash grab shitty covers compilation record called top six teenagers choice beetle mania it's so long top six teenagers choice beetle mania i know my festival show coming up is called hong kong kong but still that feels that they could have cut one of those

lines yeah just call it top six right or just teenagers choice not both also because there's 12 songs on the record. So what does it even mean? What does it mean? Every team, we ask these kids to pick two songs each. And they can only pick the same thing. There's actually a very intricate rule system here.

But what an awful job for George Martin who's got to listen to every single cover version. There's no way he did, right? He probably would just put them on for a second and go, yeah, that's fine. Fine. Done. Let's get the money.

I'm getting paid for this as well. Yeah. How much do we make for one of these? Okay, we'll approve. Yeah. Done, done, done. The approval stamp. But has he heard one and he's gone, oh my God, that drumming sound?

Well, it's almost identical. Exactly. He just listened to Beatlemania and he found that the session drummer used on that album was an eerie mimic of Ringo's idiosyncratic drumming style. There you go. Shut up, Dave. He showed me. I thought it was easy to imitate a drum sound, but apparently not. Plus, he lived in London, plus he already knew the songs.

So on that day, June 3, 1964, George. George Martin, the sixth Beatle, suggested to the most famous band on the world that if they needed a replacement drummer for their world tour, they should look no further than the 24-year-old rock star wannabe from London, England, Jimmy George Nicholl. And as Jimmy recalls, I was just having a bit of a lie down after lunch when the phone rang. Oh, yeah. So he's already got a pretty sick life. I'm loving that. That's all I want. It's very Italian.

If I'm lying down after lunch, I'm feeling fucking on top of the world. I've had a delicious big lunch. And I'm going to go have a little lie down. I'm digesting. See where the day takes me after my lie down. Imagine getting a call. You're already on top of the world. I know.

Maybe you're a bit groggy though. Oh, that's true. Oh, yeah. You'll probably be lean there like, huh? Is this a dream? This must be a drink. Do you want to play with the Beatles? I am dreaming

I'm full as fuck I can't I can't do it I've had a big lunch I had a pie I had a lot of cheese I was having a bit of a lie down after lunch when the phone rang

it was EMI asking if I could come to the studio to rehearse with the Beatles Two hours after I got there I was told to pack my bags For Denmark Now at this point In the 2001 Mark Wahlberg

Film Rockstar Mark's character Chris The Nobody receives an unexpected expected phone call from Steel Dragons founder and rhythm guitarist Kirk Cuddy, played by McNulty from the wire, and is offered the chance to join Steel Dragon as their lead singer. Chris adopts the stage name Izzy and joins Steel Dragon on a world tour. And this transition to Rockstardom is not smooth for Izzy Cole, and it is also not smooth for Jimmy Nicol.

A lot harder to just slot into the front man roll. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, Mark Warburg is a 10 out of 10 talent. We love the guy. He's got a stage presence. He's got colisma coming out of the wazoo. Big time. For starters, the rest of the Beatles were not too keen on the idea of some random guys

stepping in and replacing their best mate. Because, I mean, you've got to remember they've been a band slogging it out for seven years at this stage, even though they'd only just gotten world famous. And even though Ringo had only just joined him a few years earlier. Really? That's how much they loved him. Didn't they booted Pete Best? They had...

No, who was the original? Yeah, it was Pete Best. Yeah, there was Suckcliffe at one point, right? He was the bass player who was the artist who was, wasn't really interested, I think. Jess did do a report on all this about five or six years ago. Yeah, Jesus. Some of it's still hanging around, but I do, I always watch the Beatles stuff. Pete Best was their drummer who came to Germany with them for a big chunk of time.

And basically, it was like, by the way, you're not in the band anymore. Yeah. Because they loved Ringo. because Ringo was kind of like famous in Liverpool as a sick drummer. Yeah, they were almost intimidated by him early on. He was more famous than them and they were like, wow, Ringo wants to be in our band. That's crazy. Let's get him and we'll kick this Pete guy out.

That's how we're feeling right now with you on this podcast. He used to be on our podcast. Uh-oh. I'm gonna replace. But I went to me. They can only be one ginger. I mean, it's very true. So they felt lucky to have Ringo.

in their group and so they didn't want, they didn't like the idea of replacing him on this tour. George Martin says they nearly didn't go on the Australian tour. George Harrison is a very loyal person and he said, if Ringo is not part of the group, it's not the Beatles. I don't see why we should do it and I'm not going to. It took all of Bryans and my persuasion to tell George that if he didn't do it, he was letting everybody down.

Yeah. Especially Jimmy Nicol who's like, please come you know. Just let me go. on this tour, guys. George Harrison says, yes, I was very against that. I didn't want to do the tour without Ringo.

It's stupid. It's like Cliff Richard getting sick and putting someone else in his place. The Beatles were and always will be the four fabs. You get a doubt.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, right. Imagine someone else being in his place. That'd be the same as a place in Brinner. It's like you go to see Cliff Richard and it's bloody Biff Richard up there. Who the hell's this? I didn't pay money to say Biff Richard.

Cliff Richard would have So I'm so stoked to have been in that. It was like, yeah, imagine. Yeah, I'm like the Beatles, guys. Cliff Richard's drummer's reading that. It's about to, I'm about to be named checked by George Harrison. It's Cliff Richard replacing Cliff Richard. God damn it.

I remember him, he's, I feel like he's got a chip on his shoulder about the Beatles, Cliff Richard. I remember. Was he, I mean, I don't know any songs. It was just like a real big pop, I think he had some living doll or something, but I think he had a lot of hits in the, in the back of the day. And the young ones, right? Yeah, the young ones did a version with him. But I remember an interview with him not too long ago

where he was like, if you listen closely to the Beatles records, a lot of it is off key. He's like, you know, personally, I've got high standards than that. That's what I think. That's so funny. It's like, man, I don't think the jury's in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a bit late in the game to be doing that.

People are like, oh, we should really reassess the Beatles. I feel like now you've said that though, Cliff Richard will be someone I get into in the next year or so. I could see myself being like, actually Cliff Richard's way more in key than those Beatles. Like I got really into the BGs. I still really am, but like mainly because people were shitting on the BGs. And then I just was like, yeah, let's, I reckon they're probably going to be really good. And I listened to them and they are. And I was going around for a while going, they're better than the Beatles.

The BGs are better than the Beatles. Number, I think you can make a cat, like all that stuff is so subjective. but I do I have the same instinct when people are shitting on a band but normally my ones are worst bands you know like the killers I got right into them for a while because I like the I like the killers yeah I'm like then why are they a joke band they're pretty good pretty good and then someone pull me up they're like the killers don't need you mate the killers are doing okay they don't need you out there going you don't need to go to that for them yeah it's normally if you become a joke band they're massive yeah yeah I come and go oh yeah let's

see about this nickel back. Let's see how bad they really are. And everyone's like, yeah, dude, they sell had fucking arenas. Yeah, they're fine. They're doing all right. Don't worry about you. They're millionaires. Don't worry about them.

You're at Rod Lever Arena yelling. People are wrong. People are wrong about them. They're actually pretty good. So George is not into it. He went on to say, we should have been more forceful and said, no, we're not doing it. Also, it was no help to Jimmy Nichols' life to be king for a day. After some back and forth in the room, George finally relented.

and on June 3, 1964, George Martin called Jimmy in his home, as we already know, and officially invited him to become a temporary Beatle. Nichols' first rehearsal was with the Beatles at 3pm that day at Abbey Road and lasted just one hour. Whoa. It wasn't captured on tape, but studio records show that they perform six songs from the Beatles' current stage routine. I want to hold your hand.

She loves you. I saw her standing there. This boy, finally a song about a man in the mix. Finally, can't buy me love, and long tall Sally. The band all agreed that Jimmy's playing was up to stuff, and within the hour, he was fitted for a suit and had his hair cut into a traditional Beatles. Oh, my God.

I love it. It's like being drafted in the military. He's a uniform. I delouse him. Yeah, the uniform, we get the haircut, and then we've just got the plastic surgeons standing by here. Wow. The vibe to be in there as well

knowing that George is like I don't want you to be here I don't want to be doing this sort of intense It must have been very tense Now this is a showbiz show We're all in showbiz So let's talk cash, yeah

Let's talk how much this guy got paid That's time Let's get down to the contracts Exactly how much Nicol was paid for his brief stint with the band Has never been confirmed However in a rare interview in the 80s He claimed that he was offered

2,500 pounds per show, which is about 45,000 pounds per show today. Oh, shit. I was a shun that I'd be paying him bad money. Yeah. No, they paid him pretty well. You know, 100 pounds or something. Yeah.

Which you'd still take. Whatever you're being taken on tour. You're not paying for your flights. And you'd be like, I mean, this is pretty good on my credits. If I'm looking to be a session musician or whatever. Yeah, it's a good look, isn't it? That's insane money. It's good money.

What do they get in? Exactly. Exactly, because you know what I was comparing it to? The Wiggles. When Greg stepped out and they brought in Sam and he was just getting paid as like an employee. But the others are all like, they're all board members. Exactly. So they're making insane money.

He's still, Sam was still making a good wage, but not as much. And that's what I'm now thinking. How much are the rest of the bills making? He's making $2,500. Wasn't it kind of famous that they didn't get paid like all their deals pretty shitty but obviously their version of shitty is not my version of shit yeah far out yeah i mean Metallica did it differently you went remember and do you see some kind of monster when they sign Rob Troop Rob Rob and they um

Trilor yeah uh from suicidal tendencies and stuff and they go all right you're in the band here's a million bucks to get you started and that was just like they're like you're gonna be making a lot of money from now he's a little taster Jesus Christ they should do that with comedy. I agree. I'd take $2,500 a pod. Yeah.

I'd love that. I'd take $45,000, you know. I'd do. Yeah, I'd take what? I'd take a million. I'd take a million. I guess. And for context, this is about a thousand times more than he was being paid a week

earlier as a session drummer in... In London. So that's pretty significant. I hope he lived his life as if that would be how it was forever. Well, I used to have one car No, but a thousand. As Jimmy recalls, that night I couldn't sleep a wink, I was a

fucking beetle. Wow. Ringo on the other hand, was he less thrilled. Yeah, I mean, I guess, a gold toilet. Ringo was less thrilled. It was very strange, them going off without me.

They'd taken Jimmy Nicol, and I thought they didn't love me anymore. Oh. No, Ringo. Ringo's not happy about this. Come on. Did Joe, like, did they talk to him? It feels like they just,

Just like George didn't go, hey, I really didn't want to do it, but it's only to be short term. They just went. All right, we're doing it. I guess we'll see Ringo when we get back. He'll figure it out. Don't worry Ringo, we're only giving him 45 grand to show. It's nothing. Don't worry about it, bud.

That is coming out of your wage. Get better soon. And so within 24 hours of meeting with the four likely lads from Liverpool, Jimmy was walking on stage with the band in Copenhagen in front of thousands of screaming fans. That first night, he felt. completely out of place. He wore Ringo Starr's suit on stage. We were strategically placed clothes pegs

to make his jacket fit properly. He was so nervous that first night that as Paul McCartney recalls, he was sitting behind the drum kit just eyeing all the women. We'd start playing, she loves you. You do that when you're on stage.

Oh, and I'm nervous. Oh, man, I can't stop. You can't take your eyes off the dirt. There's a woman. He's always looking at a woman. He's licking his lips. That's when you know I'm really feeling pretty anxious. We have to have a chat then.

Calm him down a bit. Hey, hey, little fella, you're all right. Have a cold shower or something? Yeah, that helps a lot. We'd start playing, she loves you, and we'd count in one, two, three, and he wouldn't start playing. So we'd start counting again. They forgot four. They'd still nothing.

Yeah, they got to four we would have known. According to reports, John Lennon would often turn around and show him his strumming on the two and four beats. that Jimmy could stay in sync because the screaming of the fans was so loud. Wow. The next night, Jimmy and the Beatles played two sold-out shows in the Netherlands, including one performance filmed for television

in which they mimed along to the records. So I find that interesting because first he's been hired to just play like Ringo. Now he just has to mime to Ringo. Yeah. It's really bizarre. And there's footage of it. I've watched that on YouTube as well.

It's weird because the Beatles are all very confident and good and then there's just this random dude. sitting behind the drum kit just sort of looking scared and weird and I hadn't thought it because I've heard in interviews that other members would say that Ringo in those live shows because they couldn't hear anything they could barely hear each other that they really use him to stay in time with this yeah with each other like they've got this nobody who can't keep time forgets to start playing it would be a fucking mess

he's facing the wrong way back to the kit he's got the drumsticks in between his toes he's just gone he's just completely turned around he's just forgotten everything and do you think it's like a news story like fans know Ringo's ill it was

so they're not trying to like passing off no no they're not saying this is Ringo now like it actually must have been really hard for him because there was big press about the fact that Ringo wasn't coming on tour and people hated that I think people were sort of screaming

we want Ringo and shit, holding signs up at the airport. He was the funny one. He was the funny one. And you can tell that when he played. Yes, he played funny. He did play. He played funny.

But if there was one thing Jimmy wanted, it was to earn the respect of the guys. And if that wasn't going to happen on stage, then it would happen off. And that night in Amsterdam, Jimmy took the boys out for a wild night on the town. Lenin says, when we hit town, we really hit it.

We were not pissing about. there's photographs of me grovelling around on the ground crawling around on Amsterdam streets on my knees coming out of whorehouses and people saying good morning John and all of that oh all of that there's photos there's photos of people saying good morning John which really doesn't have proof that they were not pissing about people are saying good morning he's on the ground people say good morning good morning John as he grovels He'll bring their bids out

Oh morning John Jimmy would later remember the night like this Paul is not the clean chap He wants the world to see His love of blonde women And his general dislike of crowds Are not told John on the other hand

enjoyed the people But used his sense of humour To ward off any that he didn't care for He also drank an excess George was not shy at all As the press tried to paint him He was into sex The press is always saying

He's fridged He's pretty frigid He was into sex As well as partying all night With the rest of us I was not even close to them When it came to mischief And carrying on

I thought I could drink And lay women With the best of them Until I caught up with the Beatles Lay women is such a They're gonna bring that term back You gotta get laid man You know that sort of stuff

You're a bit uptight How about getting laid? Has that terminology left? I've been saying it the whole time. I don't, that just sounded really... That's because you walk around say, you've got to get a road, mate. You got to get a route.

And I'm classy. You got to get a spoof out. Yeah. Buddy, that sort of stuff. Yeah, that's what you say. But people are still saying lay. I do, and I'm people. So, yeah.

Do you say, do you ever say it in the way like that? Like, you need to get laid. You need to get laid. Maybe that's more coming. What did that Jimmy say? I thought I could drink and lay women with the best of them. Do you say something? Yeah.

I'm going to go out and lay women. Yeah. That is what I say. That's my plan for Saturday night if you want to come. Okay. Let's go lay some women. Okay, let's lay some women. I'll be grovelling around on the street outside and all you guys do that.

Oh, good morning. And all that. And all that. You know, this goes on. Obviously. Those three things, you know where that's going. People say, good morning. And I'll read the paper.

That's all to stay. The next day, the group flew back to London where they caught a connecting flight to Hong Kong. There, on 9th of June, they played twice at the Princess Theatre in Calhoun. According to press reports on the night, Jimmy really had it figured out. Yes, Jimmy. He started to add his own flourishes. When one of the songs ended, John Paul and George were bowing, Jimmy continued to play a drum riff to milk the crowd for more applause.

He's feeling himself now. He's getting confident. Yes. The other Beatles are hating. yet. Stop playing. Shut up. Back at home, however,

Ringo was getting worried. He lay in a hospital bed, his tonsils having just been taken out and watched the world's press reporting about the triumph of his band around the world. As we talked about earlier, Pete had only just replaced Pete Best

a couple of years earlier and now he was watching Jimmy Nicol replace him. So he's laying in hospital thinking it's happening again. Yeah, one's a cheater, always a cheater. Exactly.

Oh! And he's like, sucking back the most bitter jelly of all time. Yes. Another ice cream. He was feeling insecure and a little bit worried. And so from his hospital bed with his throat still swollen shut, he called up Brian Epstein and insisted that he was well and ready to join the boys on tour.

Meanwhile, Jimmy and the Beatles had hopped on a plane and flown down under. So the Australian tour was with Jimmy Nicholl? Yes. Ringo didn't make it. Ringo was not. Ringo was in hospital. Freaking pissing into a pan. So he was the one fielding questions about coffee and laneways.

Isn't that crazy that the Beatles, they came in 64? I think that's the only time they came, right? To Australia. And yeah, they had this nobody, Jimmy, George Nichol. That's so far. Yeah, I just assumed it was Ringo. Yeah. So Ringo Star missed out on the opportunity to play the Great Festival Hall.

Yeah. That's right. Now owned by Scientology or no? Oh, yeah. Is it? Scientology or is it or is it Prime Minister's religion Maybe what's that one anyway it's been bought though you're right one of the one of the cool new age ones I love Scientology

I think they're doing amazing stuff yeah you have some pamphlets you're gonna share yeah yeah well I'm gonna talk about it at the end of the episode If you'll give me half an hour 40 minutes to talk about why it's great The first stop on the tour was Adelaide in the centennial hall which is now the Adelaide showground They had four shows in two days, all of them sold out. And, you know, you guys are in comedy. You know how hard it is to sell tickets now. Adelaide. They're very last minute purchases.

That's how big you've got to be to sell tickets in Adelaide. Jimmy Nicol big. Maybe next time we should say if Jimmy Nicol come with us and maybe we can move some units. They're featuring Jimmy Nichol. Those Adelaide shows were sold out, but like at the last second. Yeah. At the last second. They're like, oh, yeah, we'll go.

To put it in like modern content. if the Beatles play the Adelaide Fringe, they'd be in one of the big tents in the Garden of Unearthly Dolores. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they'd definitely get the garden. Yeah. Yeah, whereas, you know, we'd be over in gluttony or something like that or, you know, possibly Rhinel room, which is a great venue,

but, you know, the Beatles are, you know, they wouldn't play rhino. Probably not. By all contemporary media accounts, by the time of the first Adelaide gig, Jimmy had really come into his own on stage. the excitement, noise and size of the crowds would have doubtless urged him into a more aggressive style of rock playing and the audiences loved it.

This particular concert, the first night in Adelaide, was recorded by local radio station 2SM and has since become one of the more famous bootlegs of the Beatles as it's the only recorded concert during their Australian tour and it features Jimmy on drums.

Love it. Wow, that's cool. Pretty cool. It gets circulated quite a lot online. Unfortunately, we will not. never really know what Jimmy's playing was like on that first nine at a late because the microphones on his drum kit malfunctioned two seconds into the opening song i saw her standing there and from then on you can pretty much only hear guitar vocals and the crowd those first two seconds he was good right on time he was really in time but um so but despite that people still want to listen to

these bootlegs yeah i think people really like the bootlegs because it's almost like a three piece version of the Beatles. It's like you can just hear the three boys singing up front, the guitars. It's up on YouTube as well. And you do, every now and then you hear a bit of a backbeat of Jimmy on the drums. But for the most part, you just hear the crowd going crazy and the three boys singing. It's actually pretty cool. The crowd are actually going crazy in time, though.

So it actually works out fine. It's actually better than Jimmy's drumming. It's quite nice. Is there a chance that Ringo heard that recording and went, I'm worried now that they're just not going have a drummer. I'm going to go back to Skiffle. They don't need me. I'm going to go to the skiffle sound.

The liner notes for the bootleg state, unfortunately for Jimmy Nickel fans, there was no microphone on the drums, but this does give us a marvellous opportunity to assess how the Beatles might have sounded as a three-piece band. So there you go, that's official. And also good for drummers

who want to play along. You can play along at home. You could be your own Jimmy Nicol. Be your own beetle. After the show, Paul McCartney, asked Jimmy how he was enjoying his life as a beetle and Jimmy smiled and said it's getting better. Paul loved his response. Paul said, I've got an idea.

Yes. I've got an idea. That's exactly right. Paul kept that little phrase in his head. That's so funny. Paul loved the response and repeated it over and over again for the rest of the day and it entered his regular lexicon. I believe the Beatles, it became an in-joke in the Beatles. They would say that as like a non-plussed response to things that they should be excited about.

like when they're playing for the queen. Yeah, it's getting better or whatever. Like, it became an in-joke that Jimmy started. On the next day, June 14, 1964, feeling high on life and ready to play, Jimmy and the boys all flew to Melbourne, Australia, the home of the best coffee in the country. Some of the most sensational beans

are being ground in this place. Good Lord. I mean, you know you've got a dare in front of you? How's that going down? Oh, mate, I'm a slave to the bean. I love it. And, yeah, I can only assume these are, this is a... That's got to be made in Victoria.

Melbourne mixed, yeah, yeah, here we go, dear, Deer coffee, Docklands. Wow, that is local. That is local. That's really local. Locally ground. Yeah. Yeah.

Docklands are must visit for anyone. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. A hub. Oh, you must. It's a hub. Yeah, yeah. If getting quick, they're closing down most of the major attractions there as to speak.

but probably to put up even better one soon. Due to demand. Yep, yep, yeah. Do you have a big wheel that's... No, we don't have a big wheel. Financially not viable? No, we don't have a big wheel. Yeah, Sydney doesn't have much, is it?

No, Brisbane has one for fuck sake, you know? Like, Sydney sucks. You should take house. Yeah, we'd love it. We'd do something really nice for the area. I think we'd attach it to the opera house or something. Yeah. Just put it right on top.

That'd be nice. Finally, people would go there. There was a new... A new NGV building, I think like a modern art building was announced this week, and they've said it's going to be Melbourne's The Huffle Tower. Oh, no. That's a huge call, is it? Yeah, it's such a huge call and such a cringy way to frame it.

Why can't it just be a new thing? Just a nice building. It's also the Aftel Tower is not like an art museum. It's got nothing. It doesn't look anything like it, doesn't function in any way like it. It makes no sense. we've already got the that's you know

just across the road from there is a thing that kind of looks like the arthur tower already what are you talking about anyway that's someone going rogue in a press conference I reckon they're bad lived over there and the people in the office are like why did you say the hyvaldow

and think that's going to stick yeah people are going to make fun of us now okay so they flew to Melbourne on June 14 when they arrived at the Southern Cross Hotel they were met by the site of Ringo Star. What? Ringo Star had convinced Epstein to let him join the band for the remaining dates of the tour

and he was here to take his suits back and his spot behind the drum kit. But number one, suits. Suits first. It takes it off Jimmy's back. He's like, give me that, give me that. The pegs go flying. No warning for Jimmy? No, bang.

That's brutal. No warning for Jimmy. He just shows up and he's there. Ringo's there at the hotel. That's rough for Jimmy. Where's the Southern Cross Hotel, by the way? Is that still around? I don't know if it is.

I think it's across the road from Dockland Stadium. Oh, we love Docklands. Yeah, I think it was Southern Cross Stadium. Yeah. Or is that all I'm thinking, maybe? I don't know. I'd love to go there, though, and see where they stayed and where they grovelled. Yeah, I, you know, I went to the 50-year anniversary at Festival Hall where a Beatles cover band played the set.

Wow. Oh, wow. It was given to me tickets as a birthday present. But, of course, it was so early in their career that it was just the set was. And then they did a second set with like, Oh, so they had to add some more shit. Yeah,

I knew they're like, we can't. Yeah, because it's half an hour. They were still playing covers. They were playing long tall Sally and stuff. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, as well as got a pattern out a bit.

So they take a little break and they come back and do the latest stuff. Yeah, but it's just so funny to be in a venue that's, you know, pretty big. I mean, I've seen Pennywise there. Yeah. Yeah. Pantara there. Yeah, sure.

And then to see a cover band there, it was pretty funny. For the second set, do they come back with like long hair wigs and stuff? Yeah, yeah, wearing the Sergeant Pepper's shiny suits. It's so good. I can't remember, but that sounds like that probably did happen. Yeah. Yeah, were they wearing ear appropriate clothing. I think they were, I think they were in those classic sort of weird grey suits.

They wore without collars. Yeah. Which must have been in fashion for that week. It was like, didn't they rip that off from Korea or Japan or something? Oh, maybe. It was like a ripped off fashion choice. It was a K-pop thing, was it? Yeah, it was K-pop.

Yeah, it was BTS or something. It's crazy. Okay, so they arrive at Southern Cross. Dringo's there. He surprised them. He's convinced Epstein to let him join the band. Nickel. And Nicol was just hitting his stride.

The five of them had a drink together, celebrated Jimmy's brief tenure and went to bed. The next morning, Nicol was woken up very early. The Fab Four was still in bed and driven to the airport to wait for a flight home alone. Oh, Jimmy. Didn't even get to say goodbye.

Isn't it so weird how it was just like they were like almost in a music factory, just sort of like being sent around as little pawns? It's like now it'd be like he'd have an entourage with him. Yeah. Oh, you're the guy who was in the Beatles for a bit. But this guy just gets shuttle off to the airport. He's a has been. He's a submarine, I guess.

24-year-old has been. Yeah, exactly. Didn't get to say goodbye. Before he left, Epstein took Nick's a little. aside and presented the young drama with a gold watch engraved with the message from the Beatles and Brian Epstein to Jimmy. Jimmy spelled wrong. He spelled it IE traditionally but they've put a Y here which is an easy mistake.

That is an easy mistake. The attention to details. It feels like you might have noticed at some point. Yeah. Do they spell Beatles wrong as well? Epstein also gave him a bonus 500 pounds and that was it. Jimmy's 13 days and eight performances as a. a beetle were over.

His bonus fire was less than a just being paid for one show. Yeah. That's a little extra though. At the airport. Probably, yourself something. Probably he had in his wallet. Yeah.

Yeah. Or you know what. Going through duty free. Coffee at the airport as well. Probably what do you get one or two coffees for that much? Some McDonald's chippies. Oh yeah. It's a real treat.

I feel like, I don't know why, but I feel like at the airport, I just feel like rules don't apply. Yeah, absolutely. And I'm in there getting multiple burgers. Yeah. Kris cream. Oh yeah. It's the only place

to get a crispy cream these days. Airport. A body smoothie. Yeah, really live in walt. I like to get diarrhea right before I fly.

I like to make a flight interesting. Will I make it? I like to be sitting there on the tarmac going, can we please get up and go to the bathroom? Please. Steering at the seatbelt sign. Too off. Feeds of sweat.

Yeah. Oh man. That's how you live. That's living in comedy, right? in the final moments of the 2001 film Rockstar starring Mark Warburg as Izzy Cole Izzy cheats on his girlfriend Jennifer Aniston gets addicted to drugs

and gets kicked out of the metal band Steel Dragon ditching his rock star image and stage name Chris makes his way to Seattle and starts a grunge band allowing him to write his own music finally giving him the opportunity to be respected as a creative artist in his own right. It's a really bad movie

one and a half stars as I said but I do like that ending way more than I like Jimmy Nichols ending. Jimmy's life immediately following his 13 days in the most influential music group in human history was not great. He spent his entire salary in nine months. No!

That's a lot. It was 45,000 pounds a show. I do so much money. In nine months. Wow. Oh my God, he must just been living like a fucking king. Did he have a thousand cars? You lived like a king,

and also he invested a lot of it in reforming one of his old bands called the Shubdubs, not a great name, and recording albums with them. Well, I don't mind that. He's making an investment. He's like, I want to turn this opportunity into it.

And you would think, like, if he was ever going to have a bit of buzz around him, it'd be then. It's like when people go on, have you been paying attention or something? And then they announce a festival show right after it. Record sales were middling,

despite being pretty good. I have listened to some of them on YouTube as well. They are pretty good. He's got, he's a jack. A jazzy drummer by nature, so it's kind of that more jazzy, like jazz rock sound. It's kind of cool, I like it. I know drumming.

Yeah, you know, that was a really good impression. That sounded like Ringo Star. Yeah. Within a year, he was bankrupt. His wife left him and took his young son, and he moved into his mother's basement. Sometime in the early 1970s... And he started writing angry tweets at female comedians. Sometime in the early 70s, he disappeared, apparently traveling to Sweden to tour with a man called the Spotniks.

He wasn't heard from again. again until the late 1980s when he gave his one and only interview about his time in the Beatles. He says of that time, I felt like I'd wandered into the most exclusive club in the world. They have their own atmosphere and their own sense of humor. I loved every second of it. But after living through it, I don't ever want to be a beetle. They spend their lives living in little boxes, in airports and airplanes and hotel rooms and dressing rooms. They live out of suitcases.

When I was with the Beatles, I went out alone. Hardly anybody ever recognized me and I was able to wander around. In Hong Kong, I went to see the thousands of people who live on boats in the harbour. I saw the refugees in Calhoun. I visited nightclubs. I like to see life. A beetle could never see life like I did. Wow, that's amazing.

That's a good perspective. Yeah, it's so great that he had that perspective. Yeah, a nice bit of perspective. He's never said a bad word about the Beatles, actually. Because it's so cool, he's like, I would never be a beetle again. And George Martin was probably like, Yeah, they're all like, yeah, dude, you're a cover musician. Not really an option for you.

I wouldn't be able if they asked. Nobody's asked. Just to be clear, we never asked, right? Ringo was coming back. Ringo turned up at the hotel and I said, please, can you fill in for me? That would have been a good gag if he did that. Oh, thank God. Can you feel in for me for the rest of the talk?

But yeah, that is great that he, because other, you know, other people who were close to the Beatles, like Pete Best, I think he never really got over it. Yeah, he talks about it a lot, right? Yeah. And that's nice that he did go out and see things. Because the Beatles figured that out for themselves a few years later. They're like, I don't want to be a beetle.

Yeah, true. They stopped touring. They hated it. Paul McCartney, for the record, never forgot Jimmy. One rainy day in 1967, he was watching the sun come out in his backyard, and he muttered the little in-joke, it's getting better to himself. So good. Pitching Jimmy, he smiled, went inside, and wrote track four of Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club band.

It's Getting Better. And that is the story of Jimmy Nicol, the 13-day Beatle. Whoa. I love it. I think it's a real insight into the kind of funny in jokes they had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's getting better. Paul's like, this is good.

That's good stuff. Did you guys watch the documentary? I haven't watched it yet. It's crazy. I was like, oh, that sounds really interesting. And then people said it goes for nine hours. And I was like, I can't do that. I also just find that the time.

daunting yeah especially because it only split up in a three i put it on all i was doing like i was cooking or whatever or sometimes i was fucking around on my phone and just had it on because a lot of it is just them sitting in a room riffing yeah and they do have a lot of in jokes and they do a lot of voices they mentioned jimmy nickle and the docker a couple of times as a little joke because they're going to go on tour for the first time in a long time and they're saying like oh i don't know one of them saying i don't really want to play live what's the point in playing live and and and And then one of them goes, well, we'll just call up Jimmy again. Jimmy.

And they all kind of chuckle about it. Like, they clearly like, like, uh, like the idea of him. And they found him funny and charming. Yeah, great. And they, I think they must have found it really bizarre to have this young kid come into their lives for 13 days and then disappear. Yeah. Yeah.

And he got to live it. 13 days in 13 countries almost. Yeah. Yeah. He kind of got the experience. And that's something only the five of them know, you know. Yeah. You know?

But it's not like. I mean, it wasn't necessarily them parking him into a car and sending him to the airport, but you could have, like, given him a call or written him a letter or something. I think the story goes that Paul McCartney got him a lot of session work through the years.

Yeah, great. Paul McCartney had his back and would say you should hire Jimmy for your album or in your orchestra or whatever. Do you know any of his credits later? There's credits on his Wikipedia page and it's all stuff that Dave would know, like the...

Bright-eyes, Dashboard, Professional. stuff like that. There's all, I don't know, there's nothing, nothing huge that we know, but a lot of like session, orchestra recordings for the most part,

and jazzy stuff. Yeah, but yeah, he's fucking lived it. And he's, like we said, he's never given another interview. He's only done that one interview.

And to this day, no one really knows where he is. He kind of does live this anonymous life. So he's still probably alive though. Yeah, his son was interviewed a few years ago and he says, dad's alive somewhere, but he doesn't want,

he doesn't really want anyone to know about it, you know. Isn't that funny? Because the Beatles mythology has grown and grown ever since that he would now be almost like, even though he's in the band so briefly, it would now be a thing where he's like, leave me alone.

Yeah. It was the thing I did for 13 days. It wasn't even a full fortnight. I know. I'd love to see a movie of this. So I remember I first heard about this story because Tom Hanks is obsessed with it. And he's talked about it in interviews a lot.

He can make things happen. Let's get Tom Hanks to make this movie. Because he made that movie, that thing you do, which is about a one hit one in the 60s. And I think that was a bit inspired by Jimmy Nicol, he said. All right. I would love Tom Hanks to produce a wholesome historical Beatles movie about the story of

Jimmy Nichols. So if anyone listening has like an in road to the Hanks compound. Yeah. Let us know. Let us know. Let's make this happen. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I reckon we could. Would you be on to direct or? I don't think I'd direct, but I would definitely like to play both Paul and John, if that's possible. So I don't know how we do that. You don't want to be Jimmy.

You'd be on your point. No, no, no. I just think, I want to take a small part. Just Paul and John. That's really big of you. Yeah, thank you. If I could be like the concierge at the Southern Cross Hotel.

That actually would be a dream acting role. Yeah, but like it's a comedic role. She's kind of funny. Yeah. You know? I really stand out. in the role. People go,

do you remember the cause she's funny? I like that. That is, I've thought about this a lot when it comes to show business. I've thought, my dream is to actually just be one of those people

that has to serve the main character in a movie and I get to say two or three funny lines in a weird way and the people, and no one knows who I am, but only comedy fans, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be great if we could all get cast as hotel, staff members.

I'd love to be the person that just says, good morning, John. Yeah, that's good. You have to say it with a Dutch accent, though. I can do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, gold member style. So, yeah, that was my report, guys. I think it's got a bit of sadness to a bit of melancholy at the end,

and we have to remember that it's getting better at the end of the day. That's nice. It's beautiful. You know, I've looked up to Southern Cross Hotel. It sounds like it was demolished. It was closed in 1995. But for a time there, it was the preferred hotel for celebrities. Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. After the Beatles? Yeah, I think the Beatles, well, it was only built two years before they stayed there. Oh, this is brand new. So it was really, it was hip. When I was, I went on a holiday a few years ago to America and I stayed at a hotel that it was an Airbnb, but it used to be a normal B&B. And it was famous for John Lennon staying there at some point in the 60s. And it smelled like John Lennon still was there.

Like it was so gross and old and just. disgusting and it was all dusty and shit and it wasn't worth it so I'm glad they knocked this old building down. I probably put something better there. Yeah, I hope they put the Eiffel Tower. Well, the comedy, Melbourne Comedy Festals obviously at the Melbourne Town Hall and the Beatles came out. This is the town hall here.

Holy shit. And they stood out on the balcony. So there, so Ringo obviously, he would have just been flying that morning. Yeah, there's Ringo. Wow, he's in it. I thought that's why I was surprised. I'm like, I've just put Ringo into these photos in my head. But yeah, the crowd just absolutely flooded the street below.

Wow. So you can't visit the Southern Cross Hotel, but you're probably doing a gig at the same place that they hung out in. I think they hung out in that bar upstairs. Oh, really? There's a place in there that you can just wander into, I think. And they would have hung out there. Yeah. Wow.

So that's kind of cool. We should try and get a photo at one of their big landmarks. Yeah, that would be nice. The Beatles, if they did the comedy festival, they'd probably be playing town hall. Do you reckon main room? Yeah, I think so. Or carpet room or... The portico?

Yeah, probably the portico. What holds more? Main room? Yeah, main room or Athenaeum. Oh, yeah. They could do Athaneum. They could do the AF? Yeah.

I reckon they could sell the app? I know Dumb dumb have. Do you reckon they... I don't know if they could sell for the whole month, but... Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Do you reckon? Maybe they just do a three-night run.

Yeah. Chris Rock's coming out soon. He's not doing a full comedy festival run, which is obviously doesn't have the confidence to sell a month. Coward. No, that would be nice. I'd love to go and get a photo there. Yeah, it feels like there's got to be someone.

Like, you know, the old fellow who's like the famous dormant during the comedy festival of the town? I've never asked him before, but next time I'm on a regular. You're like, will you hear of the be? It's the biggest insult. He's like, I'm 40, man. Yeah, and I'm not going to math. Is that a yes? Just answer the question, bozo.

Why, yes, my father was working and I was a wee boy. I assume he grew up at the town hall. But so, yeah, you're going to be in town in Melbourne, but yeah, you're touring all around Australia, probably the world. So wherever you are, just look up Cameron James.com. Not the world, but yeah, I'm not doing the world tour. But, yeah, come and see me do this electric dream. show. I think it'll be a lot of fun. You're going to hear all the songs that I wrote when I was 15 and they're not as good as the Beatles songs, but they're pretty good. Probably our BGs. They're more BGs. Yeah,

they're more like the killers level. Actually, the killers were a big influence on me. So yes. I'm excited. Samstown. Do you remember they were listening to a bit of Bruce to really change their direction? Yes, really did. You can clock off by the way. You don't need to still keep going about for the killers. You reckon they're doing okay. The killers are an interesting. band like that. Two of them have just retired from touring. It's just the drummer and the singer now. And then the guitarist and bass player are just touring members.

They're a couple of Jimmy Littles who tour with the killers. Jimmy Littles. What's his name? Jimmy Nichol. Spend an hour talking about him. Can't remember his fucking day's name. Jimmy Littles a boxer or something. Anyway.

There's a lot of names in your head. Is he the impersonator? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all. Okay, that was a fantastic report. Thanks for having me, guys. I really appreciate it.

Love the opportunity to talk about music, movies and art and comedy. Yeah. And coffee. Yeah. The big five. Yeah. Culture. That sort of wraps them all together.

I should have just said culture. Right? Because that's all of it. Yeah. Have you enjoyed Melbourne's culture since you've been in? Mm-hmm. I went to Half Moon Bay. Oh, yeah.

Beautiful out there. And I had McDonald's. last night. Really? Yeah. Really good. Yeah, it is, isn't it? Really good.

It's one of our great restaurants. Do you know what? It's, I think the main appeal, it's so fast. Yeah. Oh, they bang it out, right? It's so quick.

I sat down and I thought they'll bring a water over. Yeah, it'll be 15 minutes. Yeah, yeah. But it came right out. Wow. And they rushed me out of there too. We're going to need this table. We've got a booking at six.

Thanks so much for joining us, Thank you. You've got somewhere to be, so we'll say goodbye before we get on to everyone's favourite section of the show. Goodbye, guys. I won't be a part of the Patreon theme. He refuses. That is fair enough.

It's not like paying his respect to the supporters of the show. And I think you should note that when you're thinking about the shows to see at the Comedy Festival. No, no, no, no. Does he support you? Should you support him? Interesting. We should also mention you do a lot of podcasts as well so people around the world can hear

you. That's true. get to a comedy festival. That's true. I do a podcast with Alexi Tolleopolis called Total Reboot so you can listen to that

we talk about movies and I do another one with other comedian Becky Lucas called the Becky and Cam Hotline where we answer people's problems live on the podcast so yeah I'm out there

on the internet guys it's all happening. You're very consumable oh yeah I'm consumable I'm a consumable good All right I'm gonna go I'll see you guys.

Thanks, Cam. Well, as Cam James leaves the building off to do some other pretty fun things, probably telling a story to someone else right now, it's time for everyone's favourite section of show. It goes for about 30 to 40 minutes. Exactly. And it has the whole time. And it is a time where we thank a lot of our great supporters.

Just before I get on to that, I've just Googled Jimmy Nicol. I'm like, I know this guy. I mean I've watched that many Beatles documentaries that I recognise his face so well Of course I reckon the beetle haircut they gave him Is not for him No he kind of looks a little bit like

And this is gonna sound rude Like the serial killer The Beetle Frankenstein Yes I was thinking that I thought that was too rude to say No I was like he's definitely got a Frankenstein Kind of like with makeup To make him look more

Frankenstein's monster of course We're talking about I was about to say that I've read the book. I bet you haven't, so don't even trying at me. I don't know. I think you mean Frankenstein's monster. Did Frankenstein have beautiful cheekbones? He does have some cheealbones? Does Mary Shelley write that in?

Yeah. And Frankenstein could not help but look at his monster's cheekbones. Cut glass with those cheekbones. Yeah, so I'm shattered his band and go on to do big things. I'm stoked that he did not have his life ruined by that little sniffter of the big time. Yeah, that's right. It didn't, it sounds like it didn't ruin him completely. Anyway, so this section of the show, everyone's favorite section,

we thank a few of our great supporters. If you sign up on dugonepod.com or patreon.com slash dugormpod pod, you can get all sorts of different rewards for supporting the show. People who support the show, keep the show running. And yeah, for that, there's all sorts of rewards. depending on the level you join. There's three bonus episodes a month, for instance. There's a Facebook group exclusive for supporters,

the nicest corner of the internet I like to call it. And other things such as you get to vote on show topics and all sorts of other fun things. One of the levels, the Sydney-Shaunberg level, you get to give us a factor-quota or a question. That's what this section is now. And I think it has a little jingle to go something like this. Fact-quote or question.

D-D-Hing. Ah, he always remembers the ding. So in this, you get to give us a fact-a-quoted question. question makes sense you also get to give us a brag or suggestion or pretty much whatever you like now you also get to give yourself a title i read four out each week the first one this week comes from claire norris one of our fantastic supporters and claire has the title of person who sits on a cat no sorry about it uh person who sits on couch longer than i want because there's a cat on me oh yeah sometimes you're about to move and then your pet sits on you and you go well i couldn't possibly

moving. Yeah, I've been late for many a dinner party. Sorry, the dog's on me and it's very cute. It's so cute when they put their little head on you. Yeah, and they're like, I'm comfy and you're like, I want you to be comfy forever. I don't know if I've ever sat on a couch for longer than I wanted to. Wow. It's never quite enough. What a privileged life.

Man, I'm sitting on a couch. Oh, yeah. No, I'm saying I only have short couch sitting sessions. Because you want more. I'm always left wanting more. Yeah. It's what they say about a good couch. Always leaves you wanting more.

Claire has offered us a fact writing Hi all my fact is a hybrid suggestion in fact I put in the hat recipients of the Dickin Medal which is a medal given by the UK to Animals

for Acts of Gallantry and is called the Animals Victoria's Cross My fact is that Simon the cat served on HMS Amethyst and received the Dickin Medal and two other awards

for his acts of service Oh, thank you, Simon, the cat, you little brave hero. That sounds like a cat that's not on a couch. Yeah. It's out there doing action. It's not resting on any laurels. Simon was badly wounded during the Yanksy incident from cannon fire, as was the ship. During the 101 day siege and while recovering, Simon, I've said that's so weird.

No, I think it's been written weird. I blame clear. During the 101 day siege and while recovering, Simon defended the ship from rats. No, it was me, not clear. He died later that year. Oh, I said that with too much, Glee. You know when you're reading and you're not taking in the words?

He died later that year. Well. And was awarded the medal and his citation read, quote, For distinguished and meritorious service, single-handedly and unarmed, stalked down and destroy Mousy Tung, a rat guilty,

of raiding food supplies which were critically short. Be it further known that from April the 22nd to August the 4th, you did rid HMS amethyst of pestilence and vermin with unrelenting faithfulness. Simon is the only cat to receive the dick and medal. Thank you for the pod and bring me new information and laughs each week. Claire, it is our honour. Thank you so much for bringing the dick and medal back to our... attention.

Someone just got a cat and said, that cat needs a dickon. That cat needs a dickon. That pussy needs a dickon. All right. If only Jimmy Nicol is here to give us a little rim shot, so to speak. Anyway, I imagine he'd be quite good at him. All right, thank you, Claire. The next one comes from Betsy, aka Captain Bringdown.

Oh, looking forward to this. Here we go. with a fact. Betsy writes, this is a grim fact that is followed by a suggestion. I've worked as a vet technician or vet nurse, as some of us are called, for the past 16 years.

And the fact I would like to share hits very close to home for me. Vets another veterinary, vet's another, I, I don't know if you noticed that, but I was saying vet because I struggle with veterinarian. It's another February. It's a bit of a February sort of.

situation. Honestly, that's a difficult word. Stick with vet. All right. Vets and other vet professionals. And Dave, no,

I'm not talking about military vets. I can see that look in your eye. I was going to ask. I mean, the context, surely was enough, Dave. Sorry, are you mispronouncing the word vest?

Look, I wouldn't put it past me. I have a close look. Oh, yeah, this is a vest-related message. Vets and other vet professionals have a much high, have a vets and other vet professionals have a much higher suicide rate than the general population

two point seven times higher in the US and nearly four times higher in Australia freaking hell that is grim I had no idea yeah my suggestion for the pet owners who listen is to try and please be kind of your vet your vet nurses and the receptionists but I think this is true as well even if it was vests be kind of them as well be nice to vest receptionists oh yeah that doesn't make as much. You invests don't have receptionists. But they should. Good ones do.

Yeah, that's right. Not ones that we can afford. Yeah, we're getting nervous. Believe me, we are not the money-grubbing, uncaring barsters that we get called by clients on a nearly daily basis. Oh, that's fucking sucks. We would love to diagnose and treat your pet for free. Wouldn't that happen, hey?

That's utopia, right? Yeah. Phonely, hey? Yeah. That's right. I'm going to go on a communist rant. Let's bring it in. Here we go.

I don't understand that stuff. Please don't take that seriously. I know it's not a perfect system, hey? Hey, nothing is. I'm sweating all of a sudden. We would love to diagnose and treat your pet for free, but it's not practical because we have to pay the bills. Of course.

And this brings me to my point. Capitalism, hey? Bills. Give it the ass. Yeah, get rid of it. Communism. What about like a good mix between capitalism? Imagine.

Can we come up with something now? I feel like between the three of us, we could nut this one out. Right here, right now. Yeah, let's do it. Let's get through Betzies. What about you take the capital from capitalism and the ism from communism? Capitalism. Yeah, but with a hyphen.

I like that. Yeah, okay. Let's give it a try. What about comitalism? I love it. That's fun. Yeah, I'm enjoying it. Where was I?

If you have decided you want a pet in your life, please are going to pet insurance. That's a good tip. I have pet insurance. You have pet insurance? Absolutely. I have a French bulldog. You simply must. Right.

Right. I don't have pet insurance because a friend told me that it was a scam, but there you go. Ours has saved us thousands and thousands of dollars. Oh wow. There you go. Mixed messages here. Yeah. I mean, that's all insurance, isn't it?

So yeah, pet insurance is Betsy's hot tip here. Yep. Saying we mourn right along with you when we can't help your pet. I mean, that just must be so grim dealing with that every day. We're going in any sort of medicine and hospitals and vet clinics must be so tough. And so underappreciation. And so underappreciation. Exactly like without them, it'd be, you know, freaking hell.

So we mourn along with you. It hurts all the more than we're told that all we care about is money when we explain that we can't give away our services. I'll hop off my soapbox now. Hopefully the next fact quote of question is funnier for everyone. Oh man, Betsy, that's, yeah, that is grim. So sorry you have to deal with that. Yeah, that obviously comes from a, you know, a place of frustration for you and rightly so. you're doing great stuff and people can be real dicks and I'm sorry about that.

People can be dicks. I promise you, Betsy, I'm incredibly nice to my vet and the vet staff. Yes, they do great work. They're the best. I think under this new system, which we've dubbed capitalism, we should just make it a thing where everyone's nice to everyone. I think that's fair, yeah. Thank you so much, Betsy.

Next one comes from Colin Wright with the title, Guy newly admitted to the marriage and family therapy. Master's Program at BYU, formerly known as stressed out guy applying for grad school. Oh, great. I love that. Also, slipped in a little brag in the title. Yeah, love that. Congratulations.

Oh, well, I mean, that's not it because Colin is giving us a brag. Yes. Yes, Colin. Writing, it bloody worked, mates. A few months ago, I was submitting a fact about accountants while stressed out of my mind hoping to get into a graduate program. Just yesterday, at the time of writing, this, I was officially offered admission. into one of the top marriage and family therapy programs in the US.

Yes. Feels amazing and I'm grateful to my wife for her support and all the other great mates who helped me get there. It's been a long road and I can't believe we made it. I can't believe we made it. Look how far we've come up, baby. Well done for keeping eye contact. That was difficult.

It was uncomfortable. I was really struggling. But you kept going, so I kept going. Honestly, I was staring right through you. I moved my head and get my eyes. I'm ready. Just so I can swing him away. That can't make eye contact with one of his closest friends.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe I could go talk to Colin. I don't know if marriage and family therapy would help with us. Well, you're in a family. Not at this one, obviously. I wasn't big. I thought you were about to say we're a family. No, not at all.

I'm saying you've got parents and siblings and stuff. Yeah, that's why. Keep your own family, please. Do your mind. To me, friends are family. No. Incorrect. Go call Vincent Diesel taught me that.

It's been, back to, sorry, back to Colin. It's been a long road, and I can't believe we made it. In two years, imagine we go, I can't believe we made it. In two years,

you can expect to be updated on if slash where I go for my PhD won't be as prestigious as a doctorate in podcasting. but still pretty cool. That's pretty cool. That's awesome.

Thanks to Jess Dave and Matt for the high quality edutainment, which has helped me at some of my most stress moments on this journey. Cheers. Oh, cheers you, Colin. Good on you, Colin. That's really exciting. Well done. Good on you, Colin.

Legend. Seems like there'll be, you know, plenty more stressful situations in the years to come and will be here, buddy. Yes. You know? Hey, was that song we were just singing Shania Twain? Yeah. She came up twice this episode.

How about that? Isn't that crazy? And finally, Dave Loring, I should say, I read these really fumbly because I don't read them until I read them for new listeners. Dave has the title of, oh no, a querulous quizzler of quote questions, quotas and fancy pants finder of frivolous facts. Not too bad. You can you fucking nail that. Too bad there. I don't know if I pronounce querulous, right?

But the whole, you just, that flow. There was flow. Sometimes it's funny the tongue twisters actually get in a flow. Yeah. And there is a stress going on. in my mind like, oh, I'm on it, but I'm going to fall off like I'm like snowboarding or something. Like, oh, it's happening. I only snowboarded once.

And that's how it felt the whole time. Oh, oh, shit, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I couldn't, I've only done snowboarding once too. And it was on a year at camp. And I had to stop and fall on my ass every four or five meters because that was the only way I knew how to slow down. I was going too far!

Yeah. I got to the bottom of the hill and I went back up in the chairlift. And then I went and got a hot chocolate. Yeah. Oh, that's going on. I went on year 10 ski camp, which was on my 16th birthday, which was pretty cool. And skiing down the hill, snowboarder ran into me because he was falling and just slid into me and knocked me. And my skis went flying off me.

Isn't that cool? Whoa. I was fine. That's, I'm sure I've told this before, but I had a similar thing. Only was my fault. Ah. When. Hang on, was this in 2006?

Yeah. August 26? Probably was, to be honest, at some time. Imagine, though. Holy shit. Oh, well. Wouldn't that be crazy?

No, it would have been later than that. But it was, so it was just up on Hotham for a couple of days. First day was a lot of falling around. Second day was starting to get a bit of a hang of it. And I was just flying down the hill. And a guy, a guy's going, whoa, no.

And it was an instructor. Oh, no. And I'd gone off track. and he's sort of like I was going too fast in an air and veered into an error I shouldn't have been somehow and so I sort of purposely stacked

fell through a fence like one of those sort of plastic fences that you could fall through landed on my back my helmet flew I flew through this class of kids learning and like it was a real

just sprayed across the whole thing apparently my mates who were good skis and snowboarders said it was very funny to watch. That is amazing. That's great. Shout out to that helmet that just fell off at the first sign of danger.

I'm out. I can't handle it. So much pressure. This guy's wired. I'm going to keep him alive somehow. Anyway, so Dave Loring has offered us a fact this last one for this week. Oxford University is older than the Aztec Empire.

The Aztec Empire was founded by a triple alliance of three city states, Teno Chitlin, Tetschoco and Tlacopan in 1428. Oxford University was teaching as early as 1096. What? And possibly earlier still, as there's no official record of its foundation. Wow.

I can't quite tell if this means Oxford is way older than I initially thought, although the Aztec Empire was around much more recently than I previously thought. I think it's a bit of both. Yeah, I'm feeling the exact same. Yeah. Either way, I think it's a nifty fact to mess up my standard perception of history. Yeah, that's wild. And well, well described with the use of the word nifty.

Yeah, that was nifty. I love, people don't say nifty enough. Bring it back. Bring it back. Bring it back. Bring back nifty. Thank you very much, Dave. Great fact.

Yeah, like I say, if you're on the Sydney-Shonberg level, you get to give us those. We also like to thank a few of our other great. supporters. And Jess, you normally come up with a game that's sort of based on the topic of the day. Yeah, we are going to tell who they fill in for. Oh, good one. Banned or otherwise, could be anything. Love that.

All right, if I could kick us off. Yeah. No address here, so we can only shun deep from within the fortress of the mole. It is a person simply named Cube. Cube. Cube. Big shout out to Cube, who is, of course,

Nicholas Cage's stunt double. Yeah, I was going to say Ice Cube, but that's Nicholas Cage is good. We'll go with that. Nicholas, yeah, just subs in for the cage. Yeah. Love that. I often think when people don't have their address in

and then just a one word name, like, do they even know they're getting the shoutout? But I reckon Cube would know. Cube will know. Yeah, you're right. When it's just like, Samantha? Yeah.

There's so many of you, Samantha's. Yeah, there's so many Samanthas over there, out there. Not enough Miranda's, if you asked me. Couldn't agree more. Not enough cubes. Yeah. Thank you so much, you, Cube. I'd also love to thank from Smithfield in North Carolina.

Quick fact about North Carolina, they have in some areas blue fire engine instead of red. And Michael Jordan wore his high school pants under his other pants in the NBA. Pants. Pants. I just want to say pants again. Short pants. Short pants.

Short pants for long. Yeah. Or shorts for short. Or pants, yeah. Anyway, from Smithfield, North Carolina, I'd love to thank Brian Siddell. Ooh. Or Sidel. Brian.

He filled in for Australian fast bowler Peter Siddell. Oh. Really? Famously eats lots of bananas. Yeah, like 600 a day. 600. That's even more than I realized. I've gone a bit high there.

That's a bit hyperbolic, isn't it, Dave? I believe that he, uh, famous vegan. Yes. Eat a Siddell. Went vegan and didn't look back. Just eats way too many bananas. Just a real buff, elite sportsman who eats lots of bananas. Wow.

I think it is like a couple of dozen a day. Yeah, it's like a lot of bananas. No, thank you. I don't want to do that. Do I have to? Does Brian Siddell or Brian Sidal have to eat the bananas? Half. He's only filling in for a couple of days.

You don't have to go full. 13 days, yeah. 13 days. So you're eating six bananas. a day. Okay. There you go, Brian. I hope you're not allergic, Brian.

Hopefully you're in need of some potas. Can you have too much potassian? I reckon. I think you can have too much of anything, right? True. Except a good thing. Yeah. Finally for me, I'd love to thank from West Valley City in Utah.

Give me two. It's Ben Robinson. Ben Robinson. Yeah, feeling in for Keanu. Yeah, feeling in for Keanu. In the film. Point break. Yeah.

Yeah, because obviously it's a, it's, a lot working with not Nick Nolte but the other guy Gary Busey but that actually helped me I forgot his name until you said the guy he looks like then I remember it honestly I remember this as well the game you played at your show where you got the crowd and you realize as you don't they actually don't look that much along so the game the show you're talking about is the world record show we broke made up world records and the audience record that night was me and Andy Matthews and Adam Knox is a show we used to do and the world record for the best people at telling the between Nick Nalty and Gary Busey

because they look kind of alike. They've got a similar vibe or something. But when you blow them up like on the size of a giant projector screen, it's very easy. Everyone's like Nalti, Bucy, Nalty, Nalty, Nalty, Nalty, Bucy. It's not like Marga Robbie and one of those other actors that looks like Margot Robbie. They're much more.

There's like four Margot Robbie looking actors and they actually are, would be confused. I will always be able to identify Margot Rovey. Really? Always. Wow. I reckon we should put that to the test at some point. I can do it. Be absolutely right that Ben Robinson needs a feeling for Keanu

because Gary Busey's a lot. He's a big personality and on set he just needed a little break so he filmed him for Keanu. He went and had a little lie down. Ben jumped in. Good work Ben. Bob would you like to thank a few of our great supporters? I would love to thank some people.

I would love to thank from Deep Within the Fortress of the Moles, address unknown, David. Okay, well this is a good example of what I was talking about. I wonder if David has any idea he's the David we're talking about. David, is it David cube? David cubed. David. Who's David filling in for?

David's filling in for the Edge's guitar. Oh, for the actual guitar. Yeah, so the Edge forgot to pack his guitar on tour. So he got down on his hands and knees. Wow. The Edge looked like he was playing him, but really he was just whispering into a microphone. Dung-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d... Which edge invented.

Yeah. That's pretty good. Pretty cool. David's taken to the next level with a bit of acopella guitar. Sounded more like barracuda by heart, but... B'-we-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d... But that was edge of sound. Maybe heart ripped them off.

Probably. I definitely ripped him off. Thank you, David. Thank you, David. I would also love to thank again from Deep Within the Fortress of the Moles, but probably one that will be identifiable. I would love to thank Tambloneous. Oh, that's so good.

Oh, that felt so nice in my ears. Yeah. Wow. Tambalonious. That gave you a full body reaction. You did a little like, ah. I did a spoof. A full body spoof.

Let's not take your mind of the gutter. Nothing gross here. A brain spoof everybody. Please don't be yuck. Come on, people. Not that there's anything yuck about spoof. Tambologna. That's not true.

There's a lot of yuckiness about spoof. Tambalonius actually filled in for Barack Obama. Wow. Wow, that's a big job. Barack Obama actually, he had double booked himself. Oh, okay. Well, you know, his team had double booked him. He's not doing his own moments.

Mrs. Dadfire style. Yeah, and so. Two dinners in the same restaurant. That's right. And it was, he couldn't keep going back and forth. And Tambolonius happened to be there and said, Mr. President, it would be my honour. It would be my honour.

I don't know why I try to do that. That wasn't bad, yeah. Thank you very much, too, Tamblonious. And finally for me, I would love to thank from Cork in Ireland. Kean or Kean Griffin. Kean Griffin, so glad you got that one, because I would have said Cyan or something like that. Or Sean.

Sean, yeah. No. No, Sean is different. Sean is S. Kian Griffin. S-I-A-N. C-I-A-N is Kean or Keene? Great work, Keene.

Keene. Love it. From Cork. Keene from Cork, love that. Keene Griffin obviously filled in for Jimmy Nichol. Yes, that 13-day tour, Jimmy... No. He had a bit of a bad hangover on one of those shows and it needed to fill in himself.

This is when Kean stepped in. Wow. He just happened to be standing side of stage twirling some sticks. Wow. Because he was practicing for Olympic gymnastics. And they said, hey, stick twirling. Can you, does that one of those things I do?

He said, hey, why don't you twirl those sticks over here? Yeah. And they sat him on the drum kit. And he just, he never played before, but he freaking nailed it. And the audience couldn't hear the drums anyway. That's true. So they're just like, just twirl that a little bit to a beat if you can. Yeah.

And I will pay you $45,000. That's right. Because you know the, in the story. Cam mentioned how the early shows that looked like Jimmy Nicol didn't know what he was doing. Yeah. That was actually Kean. Wow. There you go.

And we thank you for that. That's how we nailed the look though. He got the haircut. They fitted him up for a suit. Yeah. So what does he like the ninth beetle? The 10th beetle? Yeah, somewhere in there.

Yeah. Pretty good. I liked how Cam seemed to have a definitive fifth and sixth. Because usually they'll just say like there's a million fifth beetles. Yeah. But yeah, I liked how Cam brought a bit of. A bit of sort of clarity to that whole number system. He ranked them.

Dave, you want to thank some people? Yes, could I please thank from Bendigo here in Victoria. Matt Allen. Matt Allen. Say hello to my auntie Rose who lives in Bendigo. While you're filling in for her partner, Derek. Derek. You don't want to give away his name.

No. He's not dead or something, is he? No, he's not. Oh, my God. He's not. But you don't want to say that. But she does not have a partner. Well, she didn't.

Until Matt stepped up. So really filling a gap in the market here. Oh my God, Matt, actually, I mean, you hit the jackpot. Rose is living happily by herself, but yeah, she did get herself into a sticky situation when she told the nosy neighbor that she couldn't come to dinner because her partner had his tubericidal. Yeah. So she scrambled. She had to find someone who played the tuba. Matt, you were nearby.

So you came in, tubering away and worked out perfectly. Thank you so much for saving Rose's day. You're a hero. You're a hero. The hero we needed. Thank you, Matt. Great. And next up I'd like to thank from California, and the location is Castaic.

Casta. California. Love it. Castaic. Castaic. No idea. Never heard of that one, I'm afraid, but famous for the location. Call himself a geography nerd.

I'll never forget that that is the place where Frankie E lives. Frankie E. Frankie E. Frankie E. It's an unincorporated community in the northwestern past of a part of Los Angeles County. Oh, there you go. Cool. Sounds like Frank wrote his name down as he was falling off a cliff.

Frankie E! Double E. Yeah. E. Sername E. name E. Maybe middle initial E. It's part of,

the people also ask, is Castique a nice place to live? The homes are more affordable than closer to the city and it's one of the top ten safest cities in America. Wow. There you go. Great place to live, Frankie.

Who fills in for Al Pacino. Oh, yeah. And that sounds like. I can't do an Al Pacino. I swear I've heard you do a great one No. What's I give her a line to work with?

What do you got? Or something like that. I literally, I cannot. Is that something you might say? I don't think I've ever seen an Al Pacino. Have we done a hoo-uh-a type thing? Who-ah? Yeah, maybe it's mad.

I think it's mad. I can't do a Pacino. I can mean, I can't either. I can do almost anyone else. But do you know who can? Frankie E. Frankie E! Just do a De Niro.

Jess is absolutely nailing a silent Dinero. Yeah. It's like an upside down mouth. But you know how you know a Pacino script? How? Covered in coffee, according to that coffee commercial. Oh my God, yeah, of course. El Pacino.

And then he goes, and then he just taps. Are you thinking of Capuccino? No, he does. He does say that. And then he just taps the table and goes, that's good coffee. I don't haven't seen that out, but I love the sound of. I'm a big fan of the patch. You know what's funny?

Can I call him that? It actually wasn't even Pacino. He won't do commercials because he's obviously an Academy Award winning actor. Yeah. Why would he? He gets Frankie E to do the commercials as him. Yeah. That's how good Frankie is.

We believe that was Al. What are you got? That's good coffee. And finally I'd like to thank from Seattle in Washington. It's Matthew Abbott. Matthew Abbott. Matthew Abbott. From Seattle, obviously.

He is listening as he fills in for Fraser Crane. Okay. Wow. On the air? I was going a different direction. Where are you going? Well, famously, Kurt Cobain listened in Seattle, one of his big things. He listened and then he played music based on that.

But yeah, I guess Fraser could also probably listen. Does he have anything with Seattle and listening, though? Yeah. Because he says, I'm listening on the radio, doesn't he? Yeah. He hears the blues are calling, for example. You know what, you're right. Toss salad and scrambled eggs.

Oh, my God, you are right. Yeah. That makes sense. Great work, Matthew. Maybe I'll see you a bit confused. Well, maybe. But I got you paint. Is that Pacino?

That's Pacino. I don't know what to do without a salad ice grab. That was a really funny coincidence that I said a thing that worked in that context. Sometimes you and I just NSYNC like Juzzy T. Yes. And one of the other members of that band. Lance Bass. Joey Fetone and the other one.

And the rest. Is there a Kevin? There's probably a Kevin. There is in the back street, boys. Oh, that's one thing. Thank you so much. Matthew, Frankie, Matt. Kean.

Kean, Tambellonious, David, Ben, Brian and Cube. And finally, what we need to do is invite a few people into the Trip Ditch Club. The way this works, the seven inductees this week, after only one last week. Dave is the hype man. I'm going to read out the names. I'm on the door. This is a club you get to enter once being a supporter on the shoutout level or above for three straight years. So Dave's in there.

He's in the club. This is Theodore of the Mind stuff. I'll read out your name. Dave's going to hype you up. Jess is going to keep Dave up and about because he's not very good at it. And Jess needs to sort of boost his self-esteem so we can just get through it. Jess normally has a cocktail named after the show as well behind the bar. Yeah, we've got Beatlemania.

Oh, yeah. And so I've taken liqueurs that are all colors that you'll find beetles. in. Yeah. Christmas beetles. Yeah. And then I pour them into a... It's like a Long Island iced tea in that it's full of alcohol and it will fuck you up.

I love that. But it's pretty delicious. And then I've made... Flavor covered by Coke. I've made little sausage rolls but in the shape of beetles. Oh, fantastic. I misunderstood. And Dave, you normally book a band.

Yes, obviously a very musical episode. We've talked about a lot of great arts on this episode. And amazingly, coincidentally, of course, we've booked NSYNC. Oh my God. All five members, which I'll now name, Justin Timberlowe. Joey Fetone, Lance bass, Jacey Chassez and Chris Cook Patrick. Okay, those last two I don't think I've ever heard. I think there's a reference in an M&M song that makes sense now.

Chris Capacrick, you can get your ass kicked. Better than those little limp biscuit bands. It's not weird that lyrics like that say, is that one of his big songs? I think it's without me. Okay, that is like his big song. That's quite big. Is that Mum Spaghetti? No.

No. I saw him play at the Dockland Stadium. Big fan, obviously. I had a phase for a while where I would not say no to any concert. I'm like, if a mate wants to go see a concert, I'll go with them. So I saw all sorts of bands for a little while there. Not that I don't like Eminem, but I just wasn't. I wouldn't normally spend a lot of money, which the ticket would have cost to go to say.

Anyway, so we've got seven inductees. You ready, Dave? because your time starts. Okay. You got this. Now, from Lena Valley in Tasmania, Australia, it's Eleanor. Ring the bell, and ding, ding, ding. From Clarksville in Maryland, the United States.

I'd love to welcome in Natalie Greenlee. Oh, Natalie, have some green tea. Please take that last train. And from Jarrow in Tyne and where in Great Britain, it's Patrick Warren. it's Patrick Ward Oh can we give this guy in a war Yes, best Patrick

From address unknown From within the fortress of the moles It's Jordan Roundtree Oh more like Jordan Roundhouse As you kick the door down Welcome Also from address unknown It's Akella Talomasca

Tellamaska Wow that's an amazing name I thought you were gonna say Akila there Sorry Akela Talamaska Akela I feel ya I feel ya I thought you were riffing

Have you done homework here tonight? Yeah, I've written these down. From Muncie in Indiana. I remember the Muncie Flies? What? Which is one of the original football teams We talked about in the Super Bowl episode. It's Kyle R. Haggedy.

Let's get Magity! Yes! And finally from Baton Rouge in Louisiana, United States. It's Jodie Scram! Scram, everyone else, because Jody's here. They're number one. Get out. Welcome into the club, Jody.

Kyle, Akela, Jordan, Patrick, Natalie and Eleanor. Welcome in all. As always, fantastic names. And great location names too. Yeah. So, good. So that brings to the end of the episode. Thanks so much everyone for joining us.

Jess, what do we need to tell people before we go? Just to remind them once again that they can get tickets to see our live podcasts. Are you okay? Are you worried that people aren't coming? How old? to you. People are. It would really mean a lot to me if you would.

No, I just had to burp. Come and see our live podcast at the comedy. Sorry, I always choke up at this time. Matt, we really need to sell some tickets. Yeah. It's looking grim. Okay.

That is a grim fact. Everyone, please buy, buy, buy, buy. Come along. For the price of three, you get the season pass. And they do go on pod.com, you can get tickets to us. to our shows. So come along.

It's going to be a Rupergrade time. If you want to suggest a topic, there is a link in the show notes that you can do that. You can also do that at do go onpod.com. If you want to get in touch, do go on pod at gmail.com and do go on pod across all social media. If you want to, I don't know, see what we look like or be up to date with what the topic is going to be this week. Yeah, Dave, Boone at Home. Thank you so much. We'll be back next week with another fantastic episode.

But until then, I'll say thank you so much. And goodbye. Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester.

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