Do Go On - 336 - Shane Warne: The King of Spin

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

This week's episode is about the life of Shane Warne aka the Sheikh of Tweak, aka The Sultan of Spin. RIP King!Come to our live podcasts in April: https://www.trybooking.com/BXSIVSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicSee our quiz show live in Melbourne: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/the-quiz-show See Matt and Alasdair live in Melbourne: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/honk-honk-hubba-hubba-ring-a-ding-ding Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-03-05/shane-warne-obituary-dead-at-52/100885192https://iview.abc.net.au/show/7-30-special-the-shane-warne-interviewhttps://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/warne-s-road-to-708-was-paved-by-dizzying-highs-and-numbing-lows-20220305-p5a227.htmlhttps://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/the-good-the-bad-and-the-googly-20061221-gdp3jk.html Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Hey, mate, it's just Matt dropping in before we start the episode. You know, we're doing four live podcasts in Melbourne

following four Sundays. That's the third, 10th, 17th, the 24th of April, 845 at the European Beer Cafe. There's a ticket link and more details in the show notes. But if you get a season pass, you get all four tickets for the price of three. That's a freaking bargain. So do yourselves a favour. It would be amazing to see you there. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On.

My name is Dave Warnocky and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello Dave and Jess. Hello Dave. Hello Dave. Welcome to your drive time commute. Am I doing it, Jess? Am I doing radio? Yeah, you're doing it.

I'm doing it. You sounded a bit like the guy in the chopper doing the traffic report. And looking down there, the. Traffic is banked up all the way down to Albert Park Lake. Perfect. Wow, that's a lot of traffic. Yeah, into the water. Hey, it's so good to be here on the Dugan podcast.

We're having a great time. Life's good. How are you two doing? When I'm saying we, I was talking about me, apparently. We are good. We are feeling fresh, fit, healthy, fine. When I say we, I am, of course, just referring to myself. Dave, how are you doing?

We are the best. We've never been better. and by we, I mean, you too, because I'm terrible. Okay, we have a quick question for you, Dave. Now, what is this show about for new listeners? This is a history slash comedy program where we take it in terms to report on a topic often suggested to us by one of our dear listeners.

The person nominated for that week goes away, does a bit of research, brings it back to the other two, and they don't know what that person is going to talk about and it's your turn, Matt, to be the reporter. And you always start with a question to get us onto topic. He does always do that, doesn't he? He always starts with the question. I cannot help myself.

It's a fun quirk of yours. And your first question is usually, do you mind if I ask you a question? And then a follow-up question. My question this week is whose recent autobiography is called no spin. No spin. No spin.

It's got to be like a cricketer, right? Spin? Or someone in PR. Yeah, that's. That's right. It could be... Or a dancer. Who could not spin.

Wow. Okay. There's actually a lot of options here. Or it could be the biography of a planet rotating on its axis. Oh. Is it any of these? It is. I'll give you one more clue.

Their favourite song is The Scientist by Coldplay. Shane Warren. It is Shane Worn. Warnie. Warning. I put this topic up to the vote. With three recently passed away legends. And, yeah, he came out on top.

It was interestingly, one of the other ones was Neighbors, the TV show, which jumped out to an early lead. Yep. And then Shane Warren just reeled them in. Yeah, right. As he often did. Yeah. Which I thought was interesting because I would have put up to vote Australian time.

So maybe Australian listeners wanted neighbours, and then English and American. Although probably not American listeners. No, American listeners love neighbors. The third option was Ronnie from the Ronettes, Ronnie Specter, who also polled very well. Everyone got votes. Tight race.

So, Warnies, I think as far as I can tell in the hat, I only suggested by one listener Isaac Robinson. Really? Who said, there's a question when you suggest topics into the hat. Why do you think this would be an interesting topic? and Isaac wrote, because it's Shane Warn. You're not wrong. Say no more.

So yeah, Warnie died recently, suddenly. So, yeah, it's been one of the, you know, it always feels unearned when you feel sad about a celebrity dying. I found out by taking my phone off flight mode and the message pops up from you, Jess, in our group chat saying, Shane Warn died. Yeah, that's how I found it as well. Yeah. What? I like woke up early one morning and looked on Instagram and people were posting about it. And I was like, what that?

I had to Google it because I was like, no way. I also did the same thing. I was like, is this a bit? Yeah, I did too. But you know, I was like, this can't be true. A morbid bit. Or has there been horrific accident or like what's happened? Do you know what?

I used to, I used to roll my eyes a little bit when, you know, big musicians or stuff would pass away and people would make sort of long Facebook posts about it and and talking about their, I don't know, sometimes I was like, you didn't know them, like, okay, you're a lot of, but I think I retract, I take that back actually, because I think, um, especially musicians, but like, you know, different artists, actors, sports people, whoever it is, if they've had any kind of influence on you or if you grew up admiring them or you just liked them as a person, especially when they, they die relatively young, it does feel really tragic and it makes you sort of think about your own mortality.

It makes you think about a lot of different things. Yeah, he was a, I think maybe that's part of it because he just was a larger than life guy, which is a massive cliche. But I think he just seemed like, to me, I'm like he's going to live free. He just felt, I don't know why, which is silly, but he just seemed indestructible. Exactly. It's a type of person that you expect to hear of their death at 99 years old.

And you go, yeah, okay. Equaring his highest score with the bat and test cricket. I didn't mean to lead that discussion off the top. I kicked that off. No, I think all of that is interesting. And it was, it just, I mean, yeah, it just took me by surprise, you know, famous people die all the time. But it just really hit me out. We were recording an episode that day as we, and I was, you know, listening to the radio.

And you could hear so many people who were on, you know, the sports station, I listened to SCN. You know, it was so raw for them. Imagine having to go on at work and talk about a friend of yours. Yeah, awful. Yeah, it was a very surreal. We'll probably just tweet about it. if one of us dies, that's probably the easiest. Yeah, I'll do a TikTok.

One of those ones we're pointing to words. It's like, I'm mourning, please respect me in this difficult time. P.S. Jess dead. And then that soundtrack, oh no, no, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. And then a robot voice. Oh, no, I am sorry to report that Dave is now dead. So you have been spending some time on TikTok.

Yeah, I've seen a few TikToks. I've seen a few. That's your comedy if you want to follow me on there. Jess, what's yours? Jess underscore underscore, underscore, underscore. Oh, double underschool. I'm looking forward to when you guys are superstars, so I can do it on there and get a little bit of off your coat tabs.

I think my followers are now in the hundreds. So just, yeah, just a warning, Dave. I might be catching limos around the place. I appreciate that. So this is a cricket topic, obviously. but I mean I'm trying to keep the he was a you know legend on the field but I'm not going to go into that

I think I made that mistake in the Bradman episode a bit where I might have talked too much cricket so feel free you too to jump in at any point if you think this is getting a bit baffling for Americans or non-cicket fans or whatever jump in at any point if you think we're not talking enough about cricket let me know that too I mean Dave you are a big cricket fan I do like you would have grown up watching a bit of cricket

I don't know you was a cricket fan no it's not um it's not a sport I understand or particularly enjoy backyard cricket, sure. Yeah. I can hit... Tippity run.

Tipity. One hand, one bounce. I can hit a cricket ball with the bat. Yeah, over the fence. Left or right handed. Wow. But yeah, it's not a sport.

I follow a great deal. And so, like, obviously, Warnie's a household name in Australia in particular. But I can't say I know a whole heap about the specifics of his career

or about his early life or anything. Yeah, great. Well, yeah, I think I knew a big chunk. of it and I learned more. I've listened to his autobiography. So what's it called?

It's called no spin. No spin. Even though he is a spin bowler. He's a spin bowler. And I feel like there is definitely spin in the book. Like he's definitely putting some positive spins on certain events. But, you know, as obviously you would in your own autobiography. And it was read by Reese Maldoon. Ooh.

Yeah, I quite enjoyed his performance. He doesn't sound like him. He's got a great voice. He sort of lowers it a bit. And I, because I also downloaded it as a PDF. And I noticed that he was saying, wow alone. Wow. You know, that's just how he reacted to things.

And he said wow, 22 times in the book. Which I don't know if that's high, but it feels like a lot of wows. That's a lot of wows. When you work out, that's only 15 pages long, that's quite a lot of wows. Yeah.

But it's not as much as Owen Wilson's autobiography, which is actually called, wow. Is that true? Yeah, yeah. So anyway, let's get into it. So this week's episode is about Shane Keith Warn, aka the Sheik of Tweak or the King or Hollywood or the Sultan of Spin or just playing Warnie. Keith, what a name.

Keith was named after his old man. So Warren was born. Shane as well as great. Shane's grown. I think the whole, all three. Tick, tick for me. Shane Keith Warnie was born in the Melbourne suburb of Upper Fern Tree Gull. on the 13th of September, 1969.

Nice. To parents, Bridget and Keith Warren. I'll talk a little bit about Bridget, just because I found it interesting. He talked a lot about his parents and grandparents on both sides in the book. And I started going down that path, and I'm like, I'll never get to his life if I... But anyway, so I'd talk... He's a little bit about Bridget. She was born in Germany just after the war in 1946.

And in his autobiography, Warren writes... Her father was a Polish refugee who, when he was still a teenager, ended up in Germany on her grandparents' cabbage farm. His name was Joey, and he worked his nuts off on their property just outside Wessel Buren. It was there he met Lottie. They were married and had their first child, my mum, Bridget. A couple of years back, mum and dad went to the Wessel Buren, went to find Wessel Buren, and would you believe, they discovered that not only does it produce the most cabbages in Europe,

it also has a cabbage museum, a cabbage festival, and every year somebody is crowned Miss Cabbage. Fact. I love the way the bookshut. It's so good. It wasn't long before my grandfather Joey, my grandmother Lottie, mom and her sister Regina,

had enough of living as cabbage farm refugees and did a runner all the way to Rome where they hoped to find a ship to America. Instead, they had to go further south to Naples. They found a ship there all right, but the wrong one. And they all ended up coming to Australia.

Apparently the ships of the states were full. So rather than wait a few months, they bought into Australia's land of opportunity. And none of us are complaining. Australia's been a wonderful place for our family. And I would have been a pretty ordinary baseballer. Shane, I just don't think that's true. No, he could have done it. He could have done it all.

Yeah, so I loved how the book was written. It sounds like it's just warning having a chat. Yeah, it's nice. Which is probably because that's how it was written. He met up with ex-cricotter and journalist Mark. Nicholas who and they just chatted about his life for a few years and then Mark Nicholas sort of just sorted it all into a book. So I don't, yeah, don't want to get bogged down in their grandparents, sorry, but if you are

interested, it's worth, it's worth a read or a listen to that book. I think it's good fun. So it sort of jumps around a bit, but it is good fun. And I'm like, wow. And he's like, and I just think that's great. And there's all that. And he is great. What a guy.

So great. It's all very positive. It's all very conversational. Yeah. Some of the stories he tells about his grandparents are pretty wild Like how his grandpa Joey His real name was Vladislore Schneck Piac It was a Polish name

Wow Which I don't think I've nailed Got swindled in a swapping his house in Geelong for a farm That was not equal in value He just got talked into it and he moved there But according to warn Dad reckons Joey was a difficult bloke with a bad temper He used to get into fits of rage

For instance He'd knock out a cow if it crapped on him while he was milking, he would be like, bang. And then headbutted or punch it? Punch the cow and knock it out. Knock out a cow. Wow. He would be like,

you got to punch a cow pretty hard. You got to bang a cow pretty hard to knock it out. Yeah. That just feels like that's a, like that's a story that's been exaggerated over the years. Yeah. So he sounds like a bit of a psycho anyway. Joey. Yeah.

But apparently it was a very good farmer. know this? Well, according to Warren, we knew he was a good farmer because he was on the front of one of the country magazines in Apollo Bay for plowing an unplowable field. Imagine that. Wow. I can't argue with that either. Unplowable field. Well, he plowed it. Huh? Joey plowed it. Doesn't look unplowable from where I'm standing. Prove that one of a fucking plow. Bang! What's that I can't plow? Bang, written all caps. Love that. Love that kind of storytelling. How many times is the word bang written throughout this book?

22 bangs. I'd control off that in the PDF, I reckon. Let me just find that one out. Bang! So, Warren died recently. It's still unconfirmed, but a suspected heart attack at the age of 52. I got a bit of a chill when I read about how Joey died, as Warren writes, out of nowhere in the early 1980s, a massive heart attack killed him.

He just caved in, and about three years later, my grandmother passed, both of them in their mid to late 50s. Oh, wow. So it's clearly a, or I mean clearly, it seems like it's a, you know, a congenital thing. Even though, like, this is some people talking, assuming that he was, it was like Coke binge or something. I know. But he's never done drugs in his life, which is, you know, people seem to be surprised with that. But he's like, he was away on a health kick.

Yeah. If anything, he probably, yeah, they're saying that his juice diet probably, probably. probably was bad for his heart maybe. Like he was sort of his diet, yeah, trying to be healthy, but he was doing it in a, maybe in a bit of a flyer. Are you saying drugs good, juice, bad? I'm not saying anything. I'm just giving you information that I vaguely know.

Dave, can I offer you some ecstasy? Yes, but I will not be washing it down with pineapple juice. I have pineapple juice in the fridge. It's so good, actually, I will. We'll be watching it down, please. Here's a quick fun fact. Oh, Jess, you can tell me if it's fun fact. I'm not.

And I didn't know this. Worn was born with heterochromia, giving him a blue, right eye and a green left eye. I never noticed that. And now, since I read that, you know, you notice it, but what a cool thing. I wonder if it's a bit less noticeable because it's blue and green and they're maybe more similar rather than like Brett.

Yeah, because you see that a little bit. I didn't, no, I didn't realize that. That's cool. I always thought that Bowie was saying, you probably talked about that when you did a report on him, but his was, it looks like that, but it was because one eye got injured. Yeah.

One of the pupils was always dilated or something. Anyway, let's get into Warnie's life. So when still young, Warnie moved with his family to Hampton in the south-eastern suburbs of Melbourne. And around these Bayside suburbs is where Warnie would call home for the majority of the rest of his life. In a playground accident when only three and a half years old, Warnie suffered multiple broken bones.

He wrote about it briefly in his autobiography, no spin, saying, I quote from it a little bit in the report. Some kid at nursery jumped off a mound and landed on my legs. Snap. Bang! Was this all the caps? Does it go again? Yeah.

Snap crackle pop. Bang. Bang! strength he developed in these times went some way towards the magic he later produced with a cricket ball in hand. So that's his Spider-Man moment. Yeah. Interesting.

A kid just jumping off a mound. Jesus, he just would have got him in the wrong spot. Yeah. Ow. Ouch. Bang! The Worn was an okay cricketer in his teens. He was also good at tennis at one point being ranked third in Victoria for his age group.

Wow. So he was having to make decisions all the time about which one. to focus on. So for a year he focused on tennis and that was when he got right up the rankings. But his true love was footy. According to Chris Payne, writing for the Sydney Morning Herald, Warren grew up with one goal on his mind to become a star for his beloved St. Kilda Football Club.

That doesn't seem to be true because he grew up Barker for Hawthor. But anyway, I found that there's so many things written about him that just don't seem to be fact-checked that much, which is really interesting. I don't know why that is, but yeah, there's all these little things that it just aren't quite right. He did become a Saints lifelong Saints fan, but that was after he was a Hawthorne fan as a kid. So after seeing him play for Mentone Boys' grandma,

he was invited down to Marabin to play with the Saints Under 19 side. And this is, you know, once he got involved with the club, that's why he started. He even said, he was like, I started getting to know some of the other players. I'm like, I probably should go for them now. Yeah, I guess so, yeah. You are playing for them.

Yeah. I guess if I had a close friend, like a very close friend who played in a footy team, I'd be like, all right, I'll go for it. I'll go for the team. You know Trevor Barker, who's like a legendary Saints player, he was like the best and first of the Saints is named after him. So he was someone he had a poster on his wall over. He looked up to him growing up.

And then when he was at Marabin, Barker was the one who gave him the nickname Hollywood, apparently. It would be wild for Trevor Barker, who was like famously flamboyant, blonde guy to be like, oh, here we go, Hollywood. What are you? You're calling me, Hollywood? Thank you, I guess. But have a look at Mirat, Trevor.

I also love the idea of Marabin's version of Hollywood, which is what they both sort of were, which I like to think of me as well, being a bit of a slice of Hollywood in Marabin growing up. Yeah. He ended up at Mentone grammar on a sports scholarship. This came about because he dominated against him in cricket and football, so they poached him. Like two, he played football kick 10 goals against them. And then he played cricket, took six wickers or something and hit 60 runs. So they're like, you should, do you want to come here?

Come here. It would be better if you were on our team. We've written down two ways to take you out. One is draft you. The other is kill you. So what do you reckon? What do you reckon? What do you reckon?

Hollywood. He got into a bit of trouble at school. At one point, a teacher hit him across the face with a hard-covered textbook. It's a different time. They could really build kids back then. So yeah, this is sort of early to mid-80s, I guess. That's too late for that to be happening. Isn't that wild?

My dad will tell stories about, you know, getting hit in the knuckles at boarding school in the 60s. 80s, too recent. Yeah, it does. It's almost surprising. Although, I mean, it was still around in the 90s that I remember, I never got hit, but my cousin, who was a couple of years above,

told the teacher to fuck off and she she smashed him with a ruler on the hand she was an old school she had the hangover of it so she used to do it and would have been like just instinct would have been we were allowed to do this 10 years ago

bang fucking hell did she get in trouble I don't think so no I probably was told not to do that we don't we're sorry we don't really do that anymore I imagine there would have been yeah of course

Sorry about that. Yeah, sorry. It's just slipped. So yeah, so he gets smashed in the face with his hard-covered textbook. In retaliation, according to war in his book, I got up and was looking for something to throw at him and saw a hard-backed duster. It hit him straight in the balls.

There was a big white outline of the duster on his pants, and everyone in the class was laughing. Predictably, he sent me to the principal, Keith Jones. It was a decent bloke. I admitted that I was being a smart-assing class, disruptive and disinterested. But I also said, that the teacher couldn't belt me across the face and get away with it.

Jones said that what I'd done was no good. You know the routine worn. Pull up your blazer. Pull your pants down. I'm going to practice my golf swing on you. Then not for the first time. He gave me six of the best. Six mashings on the ass with a cane.

A few of us used to get caned a bit by Jones. And in the end, we worked out a plan. Sometimes we'd wear four or five pairs of jocks because we figured that if we got sent out of class, we were going to get the cane. The extra padding was just in case we'd, got hammered. That was.

That's... Fucked. Like, it happened so frequently that they had to plan around it. But his mum's like, Shane, why am I washing 48 pairs of jocks away? Yeah. She, apparently, she saw the welts one of these times. And he said this in the book. He said something like, she was like, look, you probably deserved it.

And, but she went and she talked to her. She's like, I get it. He probably deserves hitting. But does it have to be that full on? Yeah. Like, can we take it down a notch? Maybe three hits? Maybe hit my boy three times with a cane.

But interestingly, following that paragraph, he basically says, I know that might be a bit full on, but I reckon they've gone too far the other way. Oh, shame. No, could be a lot of sort of old school, you know, I got hit as a kid and I turned out all right here. If I was his mom, I'd be turning up at that school with a flame thrower. eye for an eye motherfucker.

You know the drill. Don't be your pants. I'm going to practice my golf swing. Isn't that just like a spine-chilling phrase to hear from a teacher? An adult teacher in a room privately like you'd pull your pants down, mate. It's like, what the fuck? Yeah, absolutely not okay. But yeah, it is crazy, isn't it, that like you're so conditioned to that being normal

and a thing that just happens that even as an adult to go, ah, you know. I turned out all right. It's like you would have turned out all right regardless. You didn't turn out right because you got smacked. And there's possibly things that are lingering. Yeah. Because of this that aren't that healthy. I mean, who knows.

But yeah, it's interesting because I know a lot of people who think that way. But I think that happens every generation. Every generation always thinks the next generation is getting it a bit too soft. Yeah. That might not have happened when the kids were going off to wars. And the older ones are going these fucking kids. But since then, every generation has sort of been like, kids are getting it too soft.

I don't say that about the next ones under my generation. I feel sorry for them. Yeah? Yeah, just the, like I had social media in school, but we didn't have smartphones. That's true. That is the other side of it. You'll hear people going, I'm glad.

I'm so fucking glad. But to them, it's just normal. So they're not feeling they're not feeling they need. your pity at all. They're like, we're dealing with the phone. This is just reality. I'm on Instagram at school. I would have hated to have not had it. Yeah, true. I can't believe you dealt with life without it. But yeah, I do have that feeling sometimes as well. But that is just get just on of you getting really old. Yeah. No, that's been happening for a while. It sounds like the Saints Under 19s coach Darrell Nisbet had

some full on disciplinary methods at the time as well. Some mentioned by Warren were athletes, Athletically brutal, like having to sprint and climb over a wall, and then another sprint back to the wall, climb back over the wall, sprint back. And they'd have to do that once for every point they were beaten by, and an Aussie rules, a bad loss could be by 100 points or more. And he's like it, sometimes they were doing it for hours and hours. Oh my God. At the end, they had to drop their pants and he practiced his golf swing. Yeah, six of the best. Other methods of his were a little more unusual.

What? For instance, according to warn, one night when they rocked up a lot. to training, these are in Warns' words, we got to the club, ready to go. And Darrell said, righto, guys, no training tonight. We're all going to run down to the Marabin Pub, and we're going to drink six pots, which is about three pints, and run straight back.

We'll see which of you guys throws up, which of you guys is tough, and which of you guys can handle it. That's masculinity. All right, young teenagers, let's run to the pub, drink, sink a lot of piss, and whoever throws up is weak. that's ridiculous

that's so weird that's ridiculous yeah it doesn't make any sense no in my fittest at my absolute prime I would throw up of course I fucking would

you're also drinking it really fast that just sounds like you're not tough you're not tough enough you're not gonna make it that's probably it yeah within the the coach is like

I just don't know why we keep losing about 100 points I just don't know it was weird that the Saints had an awful decade in the 80s I think we want, yeah, I think I was saying it recently. We won like five or six wooden spoons.

So anyway, Warren goes on. So we ran about one and a half case to the pub, drank the beers and as fast as we could and then sprinted back. That was our session. Then Darrell said, right oh, boys, come back tomorrow with a better attitude. Come back tomorrow hung over. So wait, what is it? What bad attitude? I love the idea that he's like, right, oh, boys.

Lesson learned, I hope. Wait, what? What lesson? What was the last happened? We turned up and you said, run to the pub. What? Who's paying for these beers? Don't make me repeat myself. Do I have to run with my wallet?

Warren continues. In 1988, I trained with the seniors a couple of times a week for three months. It was fantastic. Training alongside players who've become greats of the game. Trevor Barker, Nikki Winmer and Tony Lockett, who in my opinion was the best player to ever play the game. Plugga, who we did a bonus episode, Patreon episode a while back on. people would if want to know just

They'd remember that one Oh they'd remember live in Manchester Yeah The Manchester crowd understood What a legend I was talking about I've never seen so many people Look at me so confused And I've seen a lot of people look at me confused

That night we also spoke about the Sims Yeah I was going to say I talked about the Sims that night And Danny Deck Chair And Lawn Chair Larry Okay launcher Larry Close enough Close enough

Uh Warren says final. I finished the year as leading goal kicker in the under-19s. It was an amazing time and my footy dreams were shaping up pretty well. So he was full forward, almost like an understudy to plugger. And he was doing well, leading goal-kicker. I mean, you look like you're an assured player if you're the leading goal-kicker. Yeah, you're right.

So they don't have the under-19s anymore, but I think what it was was basically like the thirds. It's sort of like a three-tiered system, the young recruits playing the under-19s, then they go up to the reserves and then from the reserves up to the first. So after kicking seven goals on week, which is a big bag. Wow. He was called up to the reserves team alongside future Sancta Legend and games record holder Robert Harvey.

He got the call from the coach. He was cook that week in bed with some sort of a flu or something. COVID. It could have been an early COVID. He was patient zero. I'm going to do that every. time. So the,

um... Oh yeah. The way he tells it. She came down with a Spanish flute, COVID. Oh. That's a COVID.

It's a weird word for COVID. Yeah. Was that COVID one? So then the, apparently the way he remembers it, he was about to call the coach, like, I can't play for the 90s this week. But as he was going to,

he got the calls and we were bringing up to the reserves this week, you know, Okay, great. You know, it was his big chance. Oh, no. But this is from his book. He didn't have a great game saying, the truth is that I wasn't good enough.

Not a mile off, but in the end, not good enough. That's hard to take. It went deep. Like my soul had been rift out. I was in love with the AFL, but the game was not in love with me. Oh, warning. Oh, Shane.

So he played on Milhanna, and Milana just tore him apart. Milhanna ended up being, you know, like a cult and great. In early 1989, he received a letter from the club saying his services

were no longer required. Oh, I was the leading goal kicker for under 19s! Yeah, isn't it? It's a wild draw.

He was feeling like everything was going to plan. Imagine if like that letter took a few days to arrive and you were turning up at training and they were like, oh,

he hasn't got the letter yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he just pretend. Why didn't we just give it to him at training? That was so stupid.

Yeah, but then he gets the letter and he's like, I drank six pots and I didn't vomit once. This idiot over here vomiting four times get rid of him we'll keep that in mind that's they'll get him to skull beers when i read this next thing according to jackson a club honcho thought he was too fat and slow the club cut him loose and the disappointment stung so they cut him for being too fat at training they

were making him skull beers anyway uh jackson goes on fat and slow because you're full of beer it's just sloshing around in your guts slosh slash slash slash slash till his last days warn admitted he would rather have been a Premiership-winning Senahar Ford than a spin wizard. But it turned out the chunky legs and broad chests that weighed him down on a football field were well suited to the short bursts of strength and velocity required of a good spinner. Yeah, it's interesting, right? He made like the absolute pinnacle of a world game cricket, or, you know, more of a world game than Australian rules football anyway.

But he always would have preferred to play footy. Play footy. Wow, I didn't know that. At the age of 19, Warren was playing for the first 11 side for St. Kilda Cricket Club. So the first 11 players in a cricket team. This is for the Americans.

I gunned to my head. Couldn't have told you how many cricket. 12th man is the, you know, that's sort of, you know, the spare guy brings on the drinks. Right. So there's 11 on the field.

And you can remember that because I was the 13th man. Of course. Which is a made-up position because they felt sorry for me at my high school. That's fair enough. So there's 22 people on the, Is it 11 on each team? Yeah.

So 22 on a field. Oh no, only two batting at a time. Oh yeah, of course. Yeah, but the others are out there for support. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. So is he playing, is it because footies over his gone to cricket or is doing both the whole time?

He was always doing both. He was playing both and he was handy at cricket but it wasn't, it just wasn't a passion. He didn't really get it. He wasn't fanatical about it at all. He would play in the back. backyard. He said he would, you know, he'd pretend to be Australian cricket as a bit in the backyard playing with his brother and stuff, but. Bowler golf ball up against the...

Woody was the passion. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so San Quilda Crick Club is a district cricket club in Victoria. So basically one level below playing for the state. And that's one level below playing nationally. Yes, that's right. And nationally is the highest. That's one level below playing in space. Yeah, yeah. Playing for Earth. The Earth 11.

Warning would have been good enough to play for Earth. I would have played for Earth. Don't you worry about that. Myd-Worley would have bowled for Earth. She's imagine what he could have done in like zero gravity somewhere. Oh my goodness. The drift he would have got in space. So around this time he went to England for a year.

He just seems like a bit of a wind. One of his mates was going over. there and like a lot of Aussie cricketers do, spent a summer over a lot of Aussies. Yeah, that's true. Not just cricketers, just in general. London, filled with Aussies. This is back to his book saying,

I joined up with the Imperial Club in Bristol. I was 19 years old and began to hang out with a bunch of great guys who loved a beer and taught me how to drink a pint. We're talking truckloads of them. I was 79 kilograms on the scales when I left Oz, and I came back 99 kilos. I learn a drink, play cricket and well a few other things about life too

Not sure what he means about that, but anyway Fucked it, he fucked over there I think he's talking about losing the virginity He lost his virginity And that's okay And you know he did because he's real cool about it Yeah, exactly He just says a few other things, wink

And see that's the thing like That's how we know Dave would say Exactly this is how we know Dave Definitely has it because he like Off the pod He's always saying things like Oh come on Oh yeah

Come on! Shut up! And stuff like that. Whereas like, Warnie's being like cool and chill about it. And that's how you know, he's definitely done it. It's hard to imagine Warn ever being a virgin.

True. But you would hope at some point he was. Warnie goes on. A season in England introduces you to the game in a really interesting way. There's a lot of cricket, like three, four, sometimes even five games a week, which allows you to bowl so many overs in such different conditions and circumstances. You learn about yourself and your game.

It's a terrific experience. So you still talking about cricket? Still talking about cricket. Three or four or five times a week. It was great. Too much. That's a lot of cricket. You learn a lot about yourself.

That's too much cricket. And I'm talking about both types of cricket. Both have 11 on the field. But only two batting. I was the 13th man watching. Bringing out the drinks. I was there. we're talking about.

I was there for six months and played 70 or 80 games. In Australia it would take you four or five years to play that many games. So I fast-tracked my learning and, as well as unraveling how to drink 10 pints, I got to understand my craft a little more. Craft beer. He was an early craft beer. But yeah, you think about like flying hours, the amount of time you spend practicing something. Yeah, 10,000 hours.

Yeah, exactly. So if he's, yeah, playing a lot of cricket, you are going to get really good, really quick. Yeah, that's, he put it in. those exact terms he talked about his 10,000 hours and how playing over there helped him get there a lot quicker than he would have otherwise. Yeah. How interesting just to be able to like six months. What was the, it would take you a few years? He reckons, yeah, it would have taken four or five years for the same amount of games. How crazy is that? Which is like half a career. Yeah, exactly. For a lot of players. Yeah. Something else that's really interesting is that leg spin at this time was

basically it was a dying art. It just didn't really exist. in world cricket anymore. It's obviously something we all understand and know what it is. Well, you know, it's slower bowling where the ball is made to turn. Yep. So rather than just straight out pace,

which was the big thing in world, you know, and still always will be, but it was the only thing back then apparently. You know, the West Indies and, you know, before that, Lillian Thompson in Australia, fast bowling was king. And then, so he was coming in a,

Yeah, quite an interesting time. Basically, people were like, there won't be leg spinners in. There were hardly any around, even. Interesting. So back in Australia, he went on to play again with St. Kilda Cricket Club, where he was spotted and invited

to the Australian Institute of Sports Cricket Academy under coach Jack Potter. According to Jackson, in April 1990, Warren arrived in typical style at the academy. Colleagues there at the academy, Justin Langer and Damien Martin, and future Australian players,

spotted him taking down a family-sized pizza and a can of VB. Warren's eventual expulsion seems inevitable in hindsight. He would always chafe at the system, but Potter had time enough to teach him his lethal flipper, a key addition to the bag of tricks that eventually shook the cricket world. The flipper is kind of his iconic ball. That's his signature ball. It's one that sort of, he clicks his fingers almost

and it just skids on fast and low. Yeah, wow. I think that's hopefully, last time I tried to explain cricket. Cricket people came at me and said, you said all that stuff wrong. I'm halfway between you, Jess, and hardcore cricket fans. Okay. I've watched a lot of it. You're a cricket fan.

I'm a casual cricket fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you said something wrong and you are a hardcore cricket fan listening, shut up. Okay. Shut up. Please correct me. You shut up.

But anyway, yeah, the flipper. That was his iconic ball. It was also the iconic move in the Australian film with Cracker Jack. Oh, yeah, right. Which is exactly that would have been... Yeah. And was it called the flipper? Yeah.

Yeah, I think so, yeah. So that would have definitely been a reference to warning. He was trying to spin a lawn bowl. Very funny. Mick Malloy. What a film. What a film. Good stuff.

Wayne Hope, probably. Yeah. I haven't seen it a while, but I should watch that again. So Jackson said there that Warren was expelled, but in his book he says he quit. Okay. It's like, well, there's all these things that are just commonly reported differently to how he tells it. And he tells it in a lot more detail, so I kind of take his word for it a bit. Yeah, okay.

The Academy group were all up in Darwin on a training camp, staying at a hotel when Warren was sent home for mooning other guests from the hotel pool. And he's writing that. Yeah. He's saying I was mooning people. He didn't say moon. He said brown eyes. Look, I did a few brown eyes. So he was in the pool or people were in the pool?

He was in the pool. And he ended up partying with some girls up to the top. But he opened that conversation with a brown eye, I believe, from the pool. That's beautiful. I mean, obviously it worked. Yeah. You know, it's hard to have a good opener, but that's it. So he's got a brown eye and a blue and a green.

He's got them all. Ladies, what do you want? I've got them all. That's the real hat trick. So, yeah, so the next day, he was called in by the academy management. They're like, what are you doing? You can't do that. We've had complaints.

So they go, we're sending you home. And he's like, okay. He's like, are you going to take me to the airport? And they said, no, you're catching the ball. bus back to Adelaide. The bus from Darwin to Adelaide. Which took over 40 hours. And it was one of those like a tourist bus that's stopping in every gift shop town.

I mean, but there's any mode of transport that lends itself better to brown eyeing people. That's a good point. It's doing 40 hours. But what are you brown eyeing out there? Camels? Not a lot of traffic out there, Dave. No. That's straight through the center of Australia.

That's right. That's just desert. it. Which I mean it's... Oh, it'd be incredible. But not in that way. Not on a bus where it's just going straight there. No stops and no...

So, you know, there's no money in Cricket back then. So he was broke. He didn't have any money to be, you know, stopping along the way or anything. So he gets back and then... So the Academy was based in Adelaide. They'd go to this place. Their accommodation wasn't on site like it, I think it would be now. The accommodation was above a pub.

So that's where these young 20, year old, 19, 20 year old guys, they just group together. They're having breakfast

down the pub with, you know, with a beer. Yeah. All our young guys have drinking problems and we just don't know

what. I can figure it out. So he gets back there now by himself and he's like, I don't know what I, you know, he was sort of

getting up, playing some pool, he said, and he's like, and he just quit. He ended up, he's like, this isn't for me.

It's not working out and he quit. Yeah. So I think as I was Ryan this report of this point of written note. Some of this is going to sound like gibberish to some people, brackets Americans. We're going to try and avoid using too much lingo on inside baseball stuff.

You don't understand the baseball. For Australian people, baseball is kind of like American cricket. Yeah, that's right. They love it over there, don't they? They love their American cricket. Oh. To hold the bat's funny, don't they?

What are they doing? It's Australia and America's pastime. So around this time, Warren hooked up with Terry Jenna, who would go on to become his mentor, who was a guy who did a bit of spin bowling for Australia on and off, I think maybe in the 70s. According to Jackson, Jenna was a former test leg spinner who'd fallen on hard times, serving 18 months in jail for embezzlement. It didn't bother Warren, who sensed a kindred spirit. Jenna became his spin whisperer, and their fortunes rose in tandem. Warren was selected to play for Victoria in the 1990-91 Sheffield Shield season, the state

cricket season, one level below playing for Australia. He took only one wicket on debut, debut, but as there weren't many young Australian spin bowlers at the time, because it was a dying art, he was selected for the Australian B team's tour of Zimbabwe. In his book, he's like Zimbabwe. I love Zimbabwe, great country. At the time, their president, Magabe, he was ruining it. But he's gone now and it's a lot better.

I love how he just summed it up so... So eloquently. Sorry, he was no good, I reckon. Yeah. He was a bit crook. He's gone. He's gone and it's lovely. He's like, it's a great country, but just, there's a real bozo in charge.

In 19992, Warn would become a shock inclusion for the Australian team against India and Sydney in January of 1992 after playing only seven first class games. Wow. So playing, you know, playing for Victoria a handful of times, not really setting the world on fire. But there just weren't many options around. Sydney is a spinners wicket traditionally. Some of you don't know, cricket, different grounds sort of have different, how would you describe it?

Different conditions for bowling. Yeah, so back in the day, I think the Australian wickets have sort of come a bit more middle ground, all of them, but Perth used to be fast and bouncy, Sydney span. Span? Span? Span. Spam. So Shane Warner's famous spanner

Span. Span. He spanned for the best of them. I'm losing my mind. No span. Span. Oh no. We've got so long to go.

And also some wickets like famously deteriorate over the five, because they play over five days. That's right. Do you want to bat first because by the fifth day there's all these cracks in the, in the pitch that if the ball hits it, it bounces all over the place. And the bat's batterers are like, oh, I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. Less consistent bounce. And then there's all the footmarks from the days of bowling and batting at each end of the pitch. So spinners have more areas to aim for it to get extra grip and turn on the ball.

So it just becomes harder to bat usually. Although the recent series in Pakistan, at least the early games were very different from that. It was just they called them, they were like roads. It was just batting wickets and led to boring draws. Anyway, you know, pick up a game, Pakistan. their first international tour in decades yeah and they've just made boring it's strange but

hey sorry about that I didn't mean to get political I hate it when you get political the selection was even a shock to warn so he gets called up to play for Australia is he about to call his coach and call in sick

for the Victorian game actually warning we need you on the plane because you're playing for the country oh great great perfect great going to need some suitor fed

I think I've got COVID At the prior match In Melbourne at the MCG Warnie was there as a spectator And he bumped into the Australian team manager Ian McDonald Warnie had three pies under his right arm And a beer under his left

When McDonald said Go easy mate You might be playing in Sydney And Warnie thought he was just joking But he wasn't And he found out later Like oh buddy hell That's how Warnie tells that story

And he's like I thought he was joking so I ate those three parts. Yeah, good one. And I went back for some chippies. On debut, Warn took the big wicket of opening batsman, Ravi Shastry,

but not before Shastry had smashed a double century. He got, you know, plundered all over the park, and he finished his first match with the unimpressive figures of one for 151. So that means one wicket for 151 runs. That's right, yeah. He took out one batsman, but they scored 150 runs against his bowling directly.

Despite the inglorious debut, Warn was finding a passion for cricket, which is wild, as he was already playing at the highest level. And he's finding a passion. He's like, I'm finding a passion. You know what? This is all right.

This is all right. It's another thing that's slightly contradictory and something he said, because he clearly had a kind of blessed rise to the top. And at one point he says that now players are expecting to be just get to the top. real quick. You used to have to earn your stripes.

He's saying he's not realizing in his own story. He got to the top so quickly. Yeah. Without even really wanting to beat it. Yeah. But I guess he's talking about younger players who are maybe complaining about having to wait. But still.

Yeah. You can't all expect to just play seven state games and go to the top level. Looking for guidance, Warren drove to Adelaide to visit his new mate, Terry Jenner, on a whim. He packed a slab. up a slab of beer on the way as well as a speeding fine. When he arrived, Warren said to Jenna, I want to learn the passion. He warned said to Jenna, when there's a full stop, you normally stop and restart, but I just thought I'd plough through them. He said,

I want to learn. The passion is bubbling. And I'll do whatever it takes. I want to learn the passion is bubbling. Warning, slow down. And according to Warren in his book, he says, T.J. gave it to me. He just ripped into me like you wouldn't believe. What the hell he said? You're overweight. Fat, actually. You've got no discipline and you think you're better than you are. You don't deserve to play for Australia. Some guys used to dominate state cricket and never got picked. Others, me for one, would get a game here and there and then get binned. You've got some amazing talent, but I question your commitment. You've got a game for Australia because there's no one else out there right now. You're a lucky boy all right. But you're not that good. Not yet anyway. Although

could be. So let's get serious. Put the beers back in the car, all two dozen of them, and tomorrow take them back to the bottle shop. While you're with me, there's no beers. Actually, put them in the fridge for another time. That's, now that's storytelling. I love that.

That is, okay, so when my brother was 18 and he got his motorbike license and came home with a motorbike, it was that same sort of tone from dad of, you are not riding a motorbike. they are incredibly dangerous I am very disappointed in you can I have a go please and then dad got a motorbike and they'd go riding together

Really? Yeah yeah Yeah it was that same sort of tone of No I am very upset at you Give us a go Yeah it's sort of midway going Actually sounds a bit of fun Yeah

Can I come along? Actually I'm being a hypocrite I had one when I was your age So Warren expected to visit Jenna Just for a couple of days but it turned in a six weeks and an intense training course where Warnie got back in a shape and continued his education in the art of leg spin bowling.

In the biopic, this will be a training montage. Yeah, big time. With Eye of the Tiger. Yeah. Or something else inspiring. He kept saying he got up and he'd go for a run and he didn't even have a siggy before he went. Didn't even have a siggy before he went for a run.

No, you're kidding. He said for the first time he got off the couch, didn't have a dart before he went for a run. Wow. And he kept that up. During that six week period, he went to Merv Hughes's wedding. He went sober. Like he took it real serious.

That's great. But it's another, it's seeming like a slight misconception about him. He would drink a lot sometimes. But he said he'd go for weeks without drinking to his life. It's not like a thing he had to have. Yeah. But when he went out, he would often have quite a few. He would binge drink.

He'd binge drink. Yeah, he'd go out and drink 29 beers. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. He, although something he said later on, he would drink a, his drink a choice out at pubs and stuff would be vodka red bulls. Oh, like, that can't be your session, be, your session drink can't be Red Bull.

I did, I've made that mistake once. I can't believe he, he stuck with it. He obviously never went too far, but shit. Warren remained in the national squad and had a few decent matches through the rest of 1999, including taking seven wickets against the West Indies at the MCG. But it wasn't until the 1993 Ashes series in England when Warney, truly arrived on the international stage, most famously with the first delivery of the series, now known simply as the Gatting Ball, aka the Ball of the Century.

You're familiar with this one, Bob? No. Have you, you know it? Yeah, would you have seen it over the last couple of months as tributes for Warnie of? Probably. Maybe, do you want to watch it quickly? I'm curious to see if it's, to me, I mean, it just is, it's a thing of beauty. And so this is his first ball of the.

ashes. And for people at home, the ashes, it's like the series, uh, series that England plays against Australia and there's a lot of rivalry. So it drifts left to ride in the air. Wow. Pitches outside leg stump and then spins back and takes the off stump. Look at his face. Wow. So that, that went on to be known as the ball of the century. Wow. Which warn calls a bit of a fluke. He's like, you know, normally it takes a bit of time to warm up again and he just, it just came out perfect and it was, yeah, just a ridiculous ball. I'll post that video of the social media's. Awesome.

According to Jackson, the funny thing about what followed, this is the English tour, was that England didn't even plan for Warn. He was held back from the one-day international preliminary matches and instructed by his Captain Alan Border not to deploy his full arsenal in tour games. So he just, Border apparently took him aside. So they play a lot of these games leading up against universities. universities and county sides and stuff.

And Borders said to him, no matter what, only bowl leg breaks. Don't bowl your flipper. Don't bowl your Romans. Don't show them your tricks. Yeah. Because then they can sort of prepare to defend that or how to deal with that. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Probably he's taking nine wickets a match. They start to notice him a bit more. That's right. And be like assuming he was definitely going to play. Because as it was, England didn't even think he was going to be playing. They're like, he hasn't been taking many wickets. No one. really, there's no real leg spin bowlers in.

You keep him in your back pocket until you really need something. Yeah. And then he comes out and blows him away. But instead he was just too good, too straight away. Yeah, amazingly just on the very first balls. So Jackson goes on. Instead, he used his first delivery to baffle his opponent, tilt the momentum of the series irreversibly in favour of Australia,

and cause a mini revolution in the game. Gatting has absolutely no idea what has happened to it, said commentator Richie Benno. still doesn't know as he was walking off the ground. I've watched the ball a bunch of times recently. It's so good to watch. Yeah, just the way, it's like how it moved in multiple ways.

It's just freaky. It's amazing. The captioned to a photo I saw yesterday from moments after the ball, a photo of Gatting says, Mike Gatting looks despondently at his stumps. It was just, the phone is just him going on like,

I don't know what happened. It was all so fast. came out here to bat and then what the fuck was that? And it must take ages to put all those pads on and stuff, hey. It must be so annoying. You get out there. Get fuck. Now I've got to take it all off.

It takes ages. A waste of time. Give us a hand, would you? It's a weird spot. It's hard to do. Can't get out on first ball. Oh my God. This is a classic backyard rule.

Yeah. Especially from the, from the ultra competitive uncle. Can't get out in first ball. The best one. Yeah. Can't get out at first ball. ball definitely came up one time my dad made a fatal error and it was because on my mom's side of the family and the grandkids there's 10 boys and two girls there's only two of us and so I was playing

cricket with all the boys and dad was batting I caught dad out and he said you can't get caught out by a girl what and my mom is one of like seven mom's one of seven so there's all of these women who just turned and stared at him and I'm sitting there like what is that even fuck and he goes I mean you can't get caught out by your daughter first right well like you're out he's just stretching for he's like I'm stuffed up I have can't get caught by a Libran whatever yourself son is like dad you're out nothing about he's like eight year old catching it yeah

none of that that's good parenting I reckon I reckon that's the kind of thing that would make you feel like your contribution was worthwhile and you should step up. It was good that I was playing. He probably remembers that story quite differently. Sorry, Dad. Luckily, it's on video and we'll upload it to YouTube. So, Jackson continues. From that moment, Shane Warren was a superstar of World Cricket. When that perfect leg break fizzed past Gatting and took the bails, the dying art of leg spin became the most captivating spectacle in the game, or more accurately, Worn did. There was no sight and sport like the Shane Warn show. The sense of anticipation as he removed his cap, adjusted his shirt sleeve and shaped a bowl. The change in the game's mood, the adjustment of

the batsman's body language, the whirring of the ball as it arc through the air, the ridiculous angles of the spin he extracted on pitches around the world. How it must have delighted Benno, a past master of the craft. His commentary of Warren's most famous moment held true thereafter. Batsman simply didn't know what had happened to them. That's pretty wild. sort of a couple of paragraphs. Yeah, really well, really well written.

But he is true. Like as a kid, when he came into a bowl, you just got excited. Yeah. And yeah, just you knew something was about to happen.

Those players don't come along all that often, in all sports. Yeah. So when somebody's like really exciting to watch, that's amazing. Yeah.

It's so cool. Imagine being that person. Yeah. It would be hard to deal with, I think. Totally, yes. Especially because it's come out of nowhere for him.

Yeah. His rise happened really pretty. Yeah, he's in his early 20s and he was saying it was, he was all of a sudden, you know, in England, he couldn't go anywhere without being handed. He's like everywhere I went, it felt like everything had changed. Wow. So, yeah, it was a lot to deal with, which he said himself that he had a kind of sheltered childhood. He's like, I hardly went to any parties.

Yeah. And, you know, we just lived at home and played sport. but yeah just all of a sudden he's a superstar on both sides of the world crazy all two sides of the world all two sides both england and australia yeah the whole world and i mean massive in india and um yeah people loved watching and play warne went on to take the most wickets in that ashes series with 34 three more than fellow victorian big murfews uh who i interviewed on to be a pioneer if people want to check that out that's right i forgot about that And once we had to ask him to move his car.

To murf his car. We were real nervous. Can you move your car, Mr. Could you move your car, Murf? Yeah, because he was at the old Stupid Al Studios recording some cricket's commentary. That's right. That was so fun that day.

And we're all like, Murph fucking Hughes is here. What a guy. Yes. So anyway, Warren's position in the Australian team was well and truly locked in at this stage. I'm not going to, because he played for, you know, nearly two decades at the top level. So I'm not going to go into too much. I'm going to summarize it a bit or use Jackson's summary here.

I feel like in the Bradman episode I might have talked too much about his cricket stuff, maybe. I mean, he was a very famous cricketer. Yeah, so it was probably something you would have to mention. As is Shane warned, yeah. So this is from Jackson's article. His playing career can be split into four phases. The first took place between. between 1990-93-1998, when he burst onto the scene,

took all before him and claimed his first 300 test wickets. The second Australian to do so after his hero, Dennis Lilly. It was the time of effortlessly wrecking English fortunes, toying with Daryl Cullinan and making even the world's best batsman look foolish. Darryl Cullin, who's like maybe his most famous bunny, like it was a real psychological thing where he just got him out cheaply every time. It was one of the top South African batsmen, but yeah, it was almost like a running joke. Wow.

Which I obviously got into Cullinan's head and he just didn't deal with it. Jackson goes on. The main problem in that phase was physical. So often was worn, called up to save Australia's day, putting extraordinary strains on his body. He began suffering a host of painful injuries that would eventually threaten his career. The second phase might be subtitled. scandal and disgrace. Between 1998 and 2004,

Warren was still a match winner, but he could also be a one-man disaster zone. In that period, infidelity cost Warren's marriage and injuries scrapped entire summers. This period involved controversies like John the Bookie and a one-year drug ban,

which I'll talk a little bit more about later. The third phase came when he returned from his drug ban in 2004. At 35, in elite cricket terms, he was on borrowed time. Remarkably, between then and his fairy tale retirement after the 2006-7 ashes, Warren took hundreds of wickets, moving past the 500, 600 and 700 test wicket milestones. He was the first plate ever hit 600 and 700 wickets.

Wow. It redeemed him and fans soaked up one of the great late career sprees. A shining example of that twilight brilliance came in the generation defining 2005 ashes, which were lost by Australia. Given his advancing age and the chaos of his private life at that point, Warren's 40 wickets at 19. That means he took 40 wickets at an average of 19 runs per wicket. Remains an astonishing feat.

Against England, he always rose to the occasion. But it was not a relationship of antagonism. He was a star there too for Australia and Hampshire. Worn often talked of his scriptwriter, a cliche to be sure. In his book he talks a bit about like, I kind of feel like my life's like the Truman show. But also, so it's a cliche, but also a measure of his wonderment

that his life could be so often veering away from one disaster over to glory. His final milestone was a case in point. His 700th wicket came five days after he announced his retirement, falling in front of his adoring home crowd in Melbourne. The atmosphere was overwhelming. He talks about that day at the start of his book. It's how, from how I read it, he got like two hours sleep the night before.

When did a charity breakfast and then went to the game. Oh my God. Oh, I don't know how you do that. No. I don't know how you do that. Adrenaline, I guess. I went to that test match. I went by myself.

I don't think I've ever gone to, I've gone to the footy occasion by myself. But cricket, it's a long day just to sit up in the stand. But I'm like, I just, no one was around to go with. I definitely have friends. And they're all in Canada But I'm like It's Warnie's last Melbourne test match I've got to go

And I'm glad I did But yeah It was kind of surreal And were you there the day He got the 700th wicket Oh no I wasn't there that day But I think I was there the day Bold

Isn't that funny that it It's a kind of a blurry memory now I mean it was 16 years ago But I wasn't there on the first day Which is when he took it I think I was there on the I was there later in the test match I think I was there on the last day.

Yeah, okay. Which wasn't the fifth day. I think it ended early. I'd have to double check that, though. Isn't that funny? Nah. So he was the first cricketer. I mean, it's just an aging thing, but geez, little memories that I used to be

able to recount every gig I'd seen and when and where and all that sort of stuff. And now I'm like, yeah, I've seen them when. And luckily, things like set lists are there. Yeah, true. I can look it up and be like, yes, it was that one at that venue. And there's the set list. It's so cool. But I mean, Matt, you are 360.

I'm an old man. Nobody's expecting you to remember everything. The first time I heard bark, when was that? When was that? My little gray cells are real tiny now. Yeah. They're really little. So he was, as I said, the first cricketer reach of the 700 number.

And it's only been surpassed by a slankan legend, Muttaya, Moralitherin, who even got to 800. That's incredible. Yeah. He got to 800 flanks. Wow. So they had a real battle between the two of them, quite different bowlers,

one off spin, one leg spin. One chucking, one knot. Yeah, well, morally. I'm just saying that to be controversial.

I don't actually know. I mean, they basically, I think they changed the rules from about how he had a bent arm action, which would have been against the rules. And they got slightly changed. And he,

you know, he worked on and stuff. I don't think it's not controversial anymore. But at the time, a lot of people were like, yeah, That's not bowling. That's throwing.

And he even got called in test matches for chucking a few times. It was all very controversial at the time. But now he's just known as a bona fide legend of the game. Obviously, he's taken more wickets than anyone in test cricket. Wow, that's cool. And interview seems like a cool dude as well. Yeah, and him and Warnie were good mates. That's nice.

When the tsunami hit Sri Lanka, Warnie called him up and was like, what can I do to help? And he flew over the next opportunity with it. And he sorted out a bunch of bats and stuff. to take with him like heaps and heaps of stuff to hand out to the kids there and him and morally did and apparently like that were going through hell and it's just a funny little he's a cricket I know you lost your house or he's a cricket bat that's what I was thinking I was like food would have been good or yeah I mean it's it's easy to criticize but like he went and did something

yeah that's right yeah he turned up yep so back to jackson's article uh the final phase of his cricketing career was between his retirement and 2013. That was his globe trotting stint as a T20 specialist. So T20 is a relatively new format of the game where they just, each team plays 20 overs, trying to make it quicker for the internet generation, you know. It's probably how they pitched it. Yeah.

They don't have the attentions fan they used to. They're always on the TikToks and the Instagrams. So he played for the. Rajasthan Royals in the Indian Premier League and the Melbourne Stars and the Australian Big Bash and yeah he took the royals to the inaugural premiership and like an inexperienced team and he captained them and led them to the first IPL championship and Jackson says if nothing else it meant his career had spanned three decades allowing another generation to say they'd seen a little of warn's magic in the flesh for all of this numerous honors flowed

He was one of Wisden's five cricketers of the century, alongside Don Bradman, who we've talked about in a previous episode, as well as Englishman Jack Hobbs and West Indian Legends, Garfield Sobers, and Viv Richards. And he was entered into the International Cricket Council's Hall of Fame. On honour boards around the cricket world, his name appears in Goldleaf, which means you get your name on the board

if you take five wickets or score a century or whatever. But just as Warren was never one. for stuffy traditions, his appeal to fans transcended statistics and trophies. The statistics don't go close to telling the story of the career, but they remain compelling. 708 test wickets at 25.71, that's the average. We're talking about how many runs per wicket. 293 at the same cost in one-day internationals and a similar average in first-class, first-class list A and T-20 ranks.

It's really interesting, yeah, his average in all formats is around 25, interestingly. anywhere Warren went he took wickets when a game was on the line he was the man his captain looked to some other stats include his 195 ashes wickets the most by any player he also has the all-time record for most test wickets in a calendar year when he took 96 in 2005 he also played a pivotal role in Australia's 1999 World Cup tilt he took the equal most wickets for the tournament and when the competition was online he produced two player of the match performances in the semi-final and final, helping Australia win the tournament.

You know what a hat trick is, Bopper? Yes, three. Three wickets in a row. Three wickets and three consecutive deliveries. Nailed that. Kind of like a triptych of wickets, if you will. In the history of test cricket, there have only been 46 hat tricks,

so they're pretty rare. And Warnie got his hat trick at the Melbourne Cricket Ground in 1994. The third wicket fell when Booney took an absolute screen. Dimeer, diving to his right, when fielding its short leg, gave me tingles. Watch it yesterday. I was generally like, whew. And Tony Gregg's commentary was so good. I thought about clipping it out of play it, but instead I'm just going to read it.

Will you put on the Tony Gregg voice? My South Africa via England accent? I don't think so. Okay. Let me see. The grudge is a place you park your car. Oh, he's got him. Has he caught him?

Yes, he has. He's got him. It's a hat trick. Yes, he's gone, he's gone, it's a hat trick. That's a hat trick to Shane Worn. A great moment in his career. What a catch by David Boone. Not bad at all.

That's pretty good. If you've heard Tony Gregg, that's very... If you've heard Tony Gregg. I haven't, but it was still fun. Yeah, I know, it was just so fun. I love it. He was such a great commentator. That felt very captivating.

Often very anti-extrant. But it was like Booney is a nugget, right? He was feeling right in close to the bat, and he just died sideways. Such a sick catch. It was also a handy, though, and consistent batsman in the 2001 Perth test against New Zealand. He made his high score against, I think, your favourite cricketer, Dave? Am I remembering this right? My favourite.

Who were they playing? New Zealand bowler. Oh, Daniel Vitori. That's right. He's really putting you on the spot a few times today. I was just thinking, oh, my favourite cricket. I was thinking, who were they playing? Was it Jacques Callis?

Who was one of my favorites? Oh, no, New Zealand. Got to be Daniel the nerd for Tori. Because I can't remember you were on some podcast I was listening to And they were you said he was your favorite player And some other guy And they were like, are all your favorite sports people nerds? So yeah, he was on 99

One run to get his first ever test century Daniel Vittori Bowls it He goes for a slog in his court After just skying it Should have made a single oney Yeah, exactly He just got impatient

But replays showed the ball was a no ball by a long way. He overstepped by so far. But this was before... Before the automatic check, yeah. Now, if it happened now, he would have faced the next ball probably sky out of again.

He was also... Again, to the end of his playing days for the people who were finding this tedious home. Warne was also a handy slip fielder, taking 125 catches, the 19th most catches as a fielder in test cricket history. He's said,

said to have changed the game of cricket forever. When he arrived, it was dominated by fast bowling and leg spin was a dying art. On his retirement, journalist Gideon Hague said of worn, it was said of Augustus that he found Rome, brick and left it marble. The same is true of worn and spin bowling. That's poetic wank. Read that again? It is said of Augustus.

It was said of Augustus that he found Rome, brick and left it marble. The same is true of worn and spin bowling. When warn found spin bowling, it was a turd and now he's polished it. It's golden turd. That's beautiful. That's nice. Yeah, I love it. I love how I think it's one of my favorite things, sports journalists talking about it as if it's high art, which I mean, to me, I don't really get why it's, you know, we go, oh, actually it's not proper art. Like, it's like it's all fucking...

It's not like a paintbrush. It's all someone's passion. Totally. Yeah, but anyway. Things can be done artfully. Yeah. You know, yeah. Yeah.

Warn's feet on the field. We're only half of his story, though. You just say feet. You don't have to say feet. Warn's feats. If you've got... Warn's feet. I know you've got two feet, but you just say feet.

I'm like, is that wrong? That's probably not... Yeah, okay. He warn's foots on the field. Only half his story, what he did on the field. So now I'm going to talk a bit more about the colour and controversy he provided the game off the field. Apart from a love of cricket, Dave, what is the other passion?

He's talking about putting him on the spot. What's the other passion you and Warren famously share? Trivia. We both love doing. We both love the work of David Suchet as Hercule Poirot. Possibly. That's unverified. Did you have a guess?

Is it? Nittyy. Music? Baked beans. Oh, it is baked beans. Brilliant. I thought you're going to say Dari's for sure. Dave loves Derry's.

Dave's a Dary Warnocky. Dave's a DART Warnocky. I'm a trained smoker. That's why we call him does. Does Warnocky. He loves a dame. Whenever we record, he says, just popping off to the John. We know what he's doing.

Yeah, he's having a choof. He's having a bloody dart. Like a chimney. There was a story. I'm going to talk a bit about his smoking later, but there was a story that the team were going on a boot camp. And they're like, all right, so when we're out there, it's going to be Army-style boot camp.

No booze. We're going to give these are the clothes you have to wear, no smoke. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are we sure about that rule? Yeah, and basically that. I'll shave my head. I'll wear the clothes. He's like, I'm up for anything, but I can't do without the smokes.

and they're like, well, you're just going to, no one can smoke. And he's like, well, I can't come. I'll be a nightmare if I come and I don't. I can't just go cold turkey on the smokes. Eventually they said, all right, we'll give you a little smoking area out of the way. Just don't tell anyone something. So funny. That's so funny.

But, you know, good self-awareness for him to be like, I'm going to be a pain in the ass. If you make me go cold turkey, I will cut right back to the bare minimum for me. But go on cold turkey. I'm not going to be a good person to be around. I believe there's a similar story with him when he was on Ama Slavery Get Me Out of Here Where he maybe was, but I couldn't, I didn't have time to confirm that or not But it's possibly another one of those stories that's told that isn't actually quite true.

Anyway, so let's talk beans, La Bean Boy. I'm ready. In 1998, it was reported in the Daily Telegraph that, quote, An international airlift of baked beans and tin spaghetti is underway to save shame. worn from wasting away after it emerged that the Australian leg spinner had been unable to face the local food on tour in India. Qantas, the Australian National Airline, is flying 1900 tins of beans and spaghetti to the team's hotel in time for the first test, which begins in Madras today.

That's so many. Okay, so that's for the team. That's a lot of tens of... Yeah, that can't be for warning. This is as being reported at the time. Warren described by Australian officials yesterday as quote Not a fan of exotic cuisine Was apparently been existing on a diet of breakfast cereal

Toast, cheese and Vegemite on Narn bread Supplemented with vitamin pills Since arriving in India nearly two weeks ago This became a running joke from then on Like it was you know It was in you know one of those jokes that would be on panel shows and stuff Yeah, and that sort of thing But according to Warn it wasn't entirely true

He later said, let me tell you the story about the baked beans. I'm going to set the story straight. Everyone thinks... He had to call a press conference. All right, everyone. Everyone thinks all I lived on in India for 12 weeks on the 1990s was baked beans. False.

Incorrect. Wow. Bang. Remember the mid-90s when tours used to go around for around 12 weeks? So we finished the test and we're getting ready for the one days. The then Australian coach, Jeff Marsh, sits down at breakfast and he opens a tin of spaghetti and baked beans. And we sat there after having the spicy stuff for so long in India.

And we thought, how good will some spaghetti and bake beans be on toast? So we said to Jeff Marsh, he still had three weeks to go. Is it possible to get some of these? So the next day, he spoke to cricket Australia and told us they've organised it and they should be here in a couple of days. So we get to the docks where the baked beans and spaghetti have been delivered, and there's three tons of spaghetti and baked beans each. And on the site...

Each? Yeah. Well, what, three tons of spaghetti, three tons of baked beans? I'm thinking three tons for each person. He did put them. I'm like, that's too much. That's way too much. Oh, my God.

We will be swimming in it. Yeah, you are literally preparing for the apocalypse at that point. So there's big, big palette of it, right? And on both sides of this big crater was written, Shane Warren, India. There were a lot of other players who wanted the spaghetti and beans, but it was just addressed to me. So we all helped ourselves to a few tins, and we gave away the rest of the people of India.

And that's how the myth was born that I used to tour India. live on baked beans. So he's like, myth busted. Bang! Bang! Because I believe that story to be just that they were sent over for him. He was struggling with interjection or, you know, whatever. He couldn't handle the food.

I thought so too. And as someone who once spent a week in Tokyo only eating at the restaurant in the hotel I was staying at eating shepherd's pie and garlic bread every single night, I'm very disappointed that that's not a true story. I'm so, yeah. That's really disappointing. Yeah, I think he loved it. He loved traveling over to India.

I imagine he, but he was not a foodie. He had no passion for food. According to him, if there's an opposite to a foodie, he's it. That's what he said in his book. This is from his book again. As I see it, a steak is a steak. What's the big deal? He hates wanky restaurants.

Spaghetti bolognaise is about as far as it goes with me. Unless we have people around, then I'll do a barbecue chicken, burgers or sausages. I'll eat if I'm hungry and I won't if I'm not. I like hot chips, pasta, pasta, white bread, cheese sandwiches and apples. Everything else I can take or leave. Mainly leave. That's so few things.

Yeah. He tells a story early in the book about how he used to eat everything at home when it was a kid. And it's just strange story. One night, his brother, Jason, had an ear infection and his mom knew this like home remedy that was boiling an onion and getting the onion juice and putting that into the year. Oh, God. So that's what they did.

And he's like, something happened and the next night, I didn't eat dinner. I just put him off his food somehow. And the night after that, I didn't eat. I just lost my appetite. And he just stopped. He just, I only ate just a very few things after that. That's a baffling story. Yeah, isn't it?

That something happened to his brother. Yeah. And he's like, it put me off. But he was there. I mean, in my head, like, she's boiled it in, and she's used all these things that they eat with, and then this squirting it into his ear, he's like, ugh.

And somehow there's a gross association, but yeah, I don't know. My brother shot himself in the hand with a nail gun, and since he did that, I've not been able to tolerate the color green. I don't know what to tell you. That makes sense to me as well. Yeah, I can't look myself in the eye.

That's baffling. Also in 1999, one of the biggest controversies in Warren's career came to light. The age reported on it at the time under this headline, Warren, Mark War took bookies cash. Warren, Mark War took bookies cash. All right, I'm reading on. I'm listening. Writing, two of Australia's greatest cricketers, bowler Shane Warren and batsman Mark War,

have been involved in a betting scandal that has plunged the game into one of its greatest crises of the modern era. The Australian Cricket Board confirmed last night that it had find war and warn for providing information to an Indian bookmaker during Australia's tour of Sri Lanka in 1994. But cricket officials have covered up the scandal ever since and the players were fined in early 1995. So it came out three years later.

Oh wow. Are you familiar with this story at all? No, not really. Well, Warnie tells the story in his book and his version suggests he was a lot more naive than dodgy. Went on tour in Sri Lanka, Warn was at a casino. He loved casinos, love, ruleette, love blackjack,

love gambling. Doesn't sound like it was very good at it though. And when he was there, he saw Mark Waugh with this guy, went over, the guy introduced himself as John. John said he'd won a bunch of cash on the Aussie cricket team over the years and said he had this $5,000 betting chip because Warner just told him that he'd done all his dough. And Warren goes, I'm fine, I don't need your money, I'm okay. But then the guy called him up the next day and said, hey, come around for lunch.

He said, yeah, no worries. Then he made of Mark Wars, a mate of mine. Come around if you want. They had lunch and the guy again goes, he's five grand. You know, I really appreciate all the joy you've given me or whatever. And he goes, all right, I'll take it. And that was it.

He goes, and that was that. I love it. He says stuff about that. And that was that. When back in Melbourne leading up to the Boxing Day test, John called him at his hotel. It's out of the blue. This is months later.

According to Warnie, we had a general chat about cricket. There was no alarm bells when he asked how the weather was in Melbourne. I said, fine, bit overcast, but should be fine. Good forecast for the five days. Pitch looks good. I can't have chatted as you would to a journal if doing an interview. Dry pitch, might spin towards the end of the match.

Should be good for me. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, cool. Thanks, he said. That was it. He wished him a happy Christmas. he said, happy Christmas to you too. Then apparently he was asked about this conversation six months later by team management.

And he was shocked to hear he'd been caught up in a scandal. He was fined $8,000 and Mark will was fined $10,000. Oh, he's down three. Yeah. They weren't banned from playing and there was no suggestion that any match fixing was going on, but their reputations were tarnished when the affair came out. Yeah, it seems like they, back then they were more like, let's just sweep this under the rug.

this would be more trouble than it's worth of it gets out. But I think they ended up going public with it because a journalist had heard about it. Right. Speaking of match fixing, Warn was offered $200,000 by Pakistan, Captain Salam Malik to bowl poorly to force a draw against Pakistan. How much money? 200 grand. Four. When Warnie at the time was on like 20 grand a year to play for Australia.

And he was like, he said he laughed. He's like, well. What? What are you talking about? And he's like, Malik's saying, if Pakistan lose, it's going to be real bad. He was sort of guilty him saying it'll be bad. You know, bad things will happen to the players and stuff. And he's like, what's going on? He's like, I can get you $200,000 by tomorrow.

You just have to bowl wide. We'll leave it. We won't hit it. No runs will be scored at the match land in a draw. So, Warren was sharing a room at the time. with Tim May and he came back to the room. He said, explained to Tim May what happened. He said, he wants to pay us 200 grand for bowling poorly.

And apparently Tim May said, you don't have to pay me 200 grand for that. Which is a good line in the moment. Love that. Bit of fun. Love that, Tim. It's also quite a serious conversation, but you know, you make it at life. No, no, no, no. I only joking, mate.

That's exactly how he tells us. He says, wait, hang on what? And then he realized. Hey, no, to pay me $20 grand for that. Nah, a bit of fun. We absolutely shouldn't do that, of course. you go tell the coach try now. That's morally incorrect.

They tell the team management it gets passed up the chain. Eventually, it leads to a hearing and Malik's career is ended over it. Finally enough, the game was real tight in the end. So, Warren's like going, I want to win this even more than ever now. And he bowled the last ball. It was they needed three more runs. Australia needed one last wicket. So it was like anyone's game.

Warn steps up to bowl Bowles it I think there's a stumping opportunity but Healy misses and it goes through for four-leg buyers and four buys and Pakistan wins and I'd seen him tell this story somewhere on YouTube or something and in the comment someone's like sounds like Healy took the money

that was my first thought in that interesting but obviously there's no suggestion of that but yeah whoops And also the umpire, Warren reckons that one of the last two batsmen was plumb LBW

and the umpire gave it not out. It was like, the umpire would take the money. Turns out Warren's the only one stupid enough not to take the money. In 2003, Warren was again caught up in controversy when he was banned from playing cricket

for a year for taking a banned substance. Remember this one? No. As it turned out, the band substance was a diuretic Warner said was given to him by his mum to help him lose weight. She was like, you could lose a few pounds.

Feels like people were going at him about his weight his whole life. The diuretic also included ingredients that could be used as a masking agent against other prohibited substances. So it in itself was a band substance. Oh, I see. And Warren was returning from a shoulder injury at the time. Could have got a two-year ban, but I guess they took, they believed his story that it was, you know, naive, stupid.

but innocent. God, that must be so hard though that you have to be so careful about everything that passes your lit, everything that goes into your body. Yes. Having to be so careful and hesitant about everything.

I think, and as time goes on, professional sports people are more and more aware of it. There was a Saints player around 10 years ago who had an energy drink that wasn't just a mainstream one. Oh.

And he got banned for a year. I vaguely remember that actually, I think. Yeah. Yeah, how crazy? That ended his career. You just like, oh, that seems interesting. Yeah, that's right. But now they're like everything you have, you've got to check.

That must be awful. And even if you think about it, okay, they're professional sports people. They're putting their bodies under extreme pressure. I can move wrong on the couch and need an anti-inflammatory. You know, like just for them to sort of have to think so much about it and be like, what am I allowed to take for pain or for any other kind of medical issue that you might have? It's crazy. Yeah.

But also, on the other hand, there are people who would say that that's the real. I just didn't know when it is actually being used to mask them doing something dodgy. Yeah, I guess so. You would have like a team of doctors that you could ask, hey, can I have this? So you understand why there's hard and fast rules. Yeah. About so, because.

But imagine, like, having an energy drink and that fucking your career. Yeah, yeah. Awful. and and then you know the the whoever's judging on it'll be like yeah we believe you but we still we can't if we bend on this then it leaves a loophole for other people yeah oh four four wow bang wow according to a report at the time of the age warn said the fluid tablet was taken for the sake of appearance and before his shoulder injury proving he was not a cheat who had taken diuretics to mask other drugs to speed his recovery warn said he had been

doing a lot of wine promotions at the time. Quote, I'd add a couple too many bottles of wine and a few late nights, he said. I took a fluid tablet then. That was the first time, she, my mum, gave it to me. It was to get rid of the double chin. Asked whether it was fair to say he had been stupid. Warren replied, Stupid's a harsh word.

I don't consider myself to be stupid. I consider myself to be probably very silly. I should have checked. Warren said that he took full responsibility for his actions. there's been talks about me blaming my mum. I never ever blame my mum because I take responsibility for what goes into my mouth

but he'd cop a lot of shit about that as well like he was passing the buck on his mum. He's like, no, that's just where I got it from. I wasn't actually... It was, it did, like it does feel like people love to jump on him. Yeah. You know, they'd always take the negative side of things.

Yeah. Not everyone. I think that's probably 50-50. There was probably half of doing the opposite of that. Warren admitted that he should have listened more closely to Australian sports drug agency briefings on banned substances but he said that just as when he was at school he had not paid attention so Warren had a year off cricket in which he spent some of his time

as an unpaid mentor to players at the St Kilda Football Club they were keen to get him in but the AFL didn't allow him to have an official position so it had to be an unofficial sort of he also wasn't allowed to like hanging around the boundary line. Hey, you're doing well, you're doing well. He wasn't allowed to practice bowling at any official cricket field or anything like that. It would have been an awkward Christmas. Everyone else gets out there in the backyard.

Sorry, Uncle Shane. I don't know. Is this official? I'm not going to risk it. I'm not going to risk it. No, Greg's mown a pitch into the lawn. And apparently they went on a family holiday to Spain, which he said was pretty nice because it was one of the few. times where cricket wasn't first priority, which is pretty brutal.

Tells stories of when his kids were being born and he's getting the phone call. Oh man, I meant to pull that out. There was one story, he saw the photos of his first daughter being born. He's like, oh my God, babies are meant to be cute. This is hideous. His parents were like, oh, did you get any photos? He's like, no, he'd hidden them away. And then he's later like, yeah, I was, I don't know why I was being so weird.

I was just in shock. all the blood and everything. Yeah. He just, like, in a lot of ways, it was just like a big kid, you know? Yeah. So honest. Yeah.

So, like writing that in your book. Yeah. Yeah. And his kids can read. So you're reading them. Like, thanks, Dad. Yeah, like I said before, Warnie hated drugs.

Never touched cocaine or anything like that. But he smoked like a chimney. And according to his book, he took it up very young. This is from his book. When my brother, Jason and I were 11 or 12, Dad caught us smoking and locked us in a closet. He said, if you guys want to smoke, here's a pack each.

You're not coming out until you smoke the water. Oh, that classic. It is a classic. I've never heard it actually happened. Yeah. And I've never heard it inside an enclosed space. Yeah, I'm making it horrific. Yeah, that's right.

He goes on, I was violently ill after a couple of smokes, coughing and spluttering, shouting, Dad, let me out. But Jay stayed in there for hours. Smoked a lot. Dad, this is fucking great. This is the best. You're the best dad ever. Thanks, dad.

Apparently, once he was done, he came out and said, Any more, Dad? How many more you got? That poor kid. Who probably would have said him more like, Any more, Dad? How many of you got? Despite attempts to quit,

Warnie Smoke for the rest of his life. From that point on? Yeah, pretty much. That's so bad. Definitely did not work. His dad's like this really backfired. In 1999, he was paid a big chunk of money.

money, seen it being reported as either 200,000 or a million. Wow. Somewhere between that. It's a lot of money. Yeah, a lot of money. So it was paid that by nicotine substitute company Nicorette to quit smoking. The deal got a lot of attention as Warnie was famous for his love of darts. Melbourne comedian John Saffran tried attempt warned by sending out a remote-controlled

seagull with a cigarette in his beak onto the MC during a match. Saffran was arrested for trespassing but was found not guilty in court. Apparently, the only time, you know, Safran's sort of a comedian slash journalist, author slash prankster. Yeah. All the pranks he ever did, that was the only time he ever was taking a court for it. For sending out a little remote control car with the sea gull. Do you remember?

I think it would have been the MCG. Yeah, it doesn't feel like, warning. No, warning would find that very funny. I would assume. He would have said, ah, you fucking, what are you being a fucking asshole, hey? I don't know what that was. That was a very good warning. Bang.

Bah, bra. You know, warning. Yeah, Tony Craig, pretty good. Shame or one. I don't know that one. I don't know what that was. I'm tired. I'm tired.

Hey, I'm tired of listening to this. I've had enough of this. I've had enough of your tomfoolery. So days before the four-month sponsorship ended, he was out drowning sorrows at a baron Barbados. Barbados. Barbados. Barbados.

Barbados. Barbados. after being dropped from the team mid-tour, Steve War. They were mates early on, and then they really had a big falling out. And they were vice captain and captain. And Warren hated how Steve War was like, respect the hat, the baggy green cap. It's all about the cap. And actually like, literally respecting the hat.

Yeah. And Warren's like, this is a bit ridiculous. It's more about the symbolism of the hat, I would have thought. Yeah. You're literally telling me not to look at your hat in the eyes. So they had a falling out about this and about a few other things. And Warren was out of form on this tour. And Steve wore, on tour, the selection committee was the captain, vice captain and coach.

And Wars like, I don't think you should play this next test, Warnie. And Warnie's like, oh, no, I've been out of form, but I'm just coming back from the injury. I'm feeling better with every day. It's about to click. You can definitely play me. I'm feeling good. War asked the coach Coach said

No I reckon I think it was Rod Marsh at the time She said Well Jeff Mars One of the Marshes and he said No I reckon we play Play Warnie And was like

I really don't think we do They got A.B. Alan Bauder who was in town Said let's get another opinion from him Border said oh you got to play Warnie You got to play Warnie And then Steve Orr goes

Sorry guys My call You're not playing So he was dropped from the team. It was sort of weird so it feels like

it was a bit personal and whatever and so Warne was annoyed and angry he went out that night and hit that Barbados pub pub hard.

According to Warren he bummed a smoke off teammate Damien Martin and as soon as he lit it a flash went off and the guy behind the camera yelled I'm going to sell this sounds like a bad movie

yeah gotcha Cha-ching Bradley Warren said Whatever mate Fuck off That's I think of a pretty reasonable response Didn't think more about it

Had another beer I woke up feeling He's like Uh oh what have I done Called his brother who was managing him They called Nicorette And luckily Nicorette was pretty chill about it

They backed him and said Something like no worries Quitting is hard We knew this It normally takes people At least three tries No, it's very hard to go cold turkey. We knew something like this had happened.

You know, like, oh my God. Thank God. But yeah, but it's so, all I remember of it is people being like, Ha, ha, Warnie, sucked him, we got you. Yeah, got him. Yeah, so gross. Wow, I really didn't think that story was going to end that way. I thought there was going to be a big deal.

Money's given back and, yeah, apparently not. Oh, yeah. But yeah, I never heard that sort of the story. That's very reasonable. Warns infidelity also had him on the front pages of the tabloids. at different times during his career. He was not very good at monogamy. According to the Sydney Morning Herald,

Warren was stripped of the Australian Vice-Captaincy after a lewd text message scandal involving a Leicester Sheen nurse during a plankston in England in 2000. More allegations would surface in the following years hitting a peak in England in 2005 when Warren was linked to at least two other women. He and his wife, Simone, who had three children together separated later that year.

uh, Simone Callahan and Warren had been married since 1995. So it was about 10 years at that time. They got back together briefly a couple years later after they separated, but didn't last. Yeah, he, but apparently they did get on very well in the end, which is nice here. And they were, you know, they were, because they had three kids together and they, I felt both put that as pretty important. According to this great cricketing website I found called a Wikipedia. Wikipedia.org.

I assume it's... Like wicket? Yeah, I assume it's short for wickets. That's fun. Yeah. That's fun. I like that. So it's a quick...

It's like all about cricket. Yeah, it's like a quick info website. Oh, cool. So to speak. So this is from Wikipedia.org. Following a split from Callahan, Worn dated English actress Elizabeth Hurley. Although the relationship at first

seemed short-lived, following the disclosure of warn texting sexual messages to a married Melbourne businesswoman, the couple created a media frenzy when Hurley later moved into Warren's mansion in Brighton, Victoria. They announced that they were engaged in late 2011, but had called off the engagement by December 2013.

Warren later reflected that, quote, I was more in love with Elizabeth, than I'd realized I could be. I missed the love we had. My ears with Elizabeth Elizabeth were the happiest of my life. Oh, wow. So he only had two long-term relationships that was with Simone Callahan and Elizabeth Hurley.

What about cricket? Oh, obviously, cricket was the love of his life in the end. longest relationship you have is with yourself. That's true. Can't get away. Can't get away. You can try and I have. But you know, you've got to be your own best friend.

That's what I always say. So you got to love yourself if you want other people to love you. That's what I say. I'll say in the mirror. I say, love you. Love you. Hey. Love you.

Just say that a bit. Yeah, they never say back. And then in the one of the mirror says, fuck you. Yeah. And does that sort of fake out. Yeah. And like slid sugar. And it goes gotcha.

Yeah. Dickhead. Anyway, but we are getting closer. Yeah, that's beautiful. I remember a story about when Liz Hurley moved in. Or like there was a, because my mum worked at school in Brighton where Warnie's kids went actually. And there was choppers flying over Brighton,

just like media choppers. There was paparazzi out the front of the house. And one time a mattress got delivered. And they're all taking pictures of this mattress and oh, they got a new mattress leverage. And they didn't even order it. Someone from the press ordered it. Right. Yeah.

I mean, that was, that's what, yeah, they just had this real weird. I guess they knew he sold papers. Yeah. But it was just, it feels like a lot of bullshit. Front page mattress delivery. Yeah. That's why some of these things I'm quoting, I'm like, I'm taking their word for it a bit. Yeah.

But yeah. So if it sounded ridiculous when I said the couple created. a media frenzy. Yeah, no, it's not at all. It was huge. Yeah, we're just like, people are going to look back on our time like we do when people used to go watch a train come to town.

They were like, I had helicopters out because a cricketer and an actress were living together. Yeah. Maybe made a purchase. Turned out they didn't actually. They didn't actually. They bought something. A mattress for sleeping on or other things.

Mattresses are very sexy. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. You do all sorts of stuff on a mattress. I call it the work bench. You said that was the cliche on cribs where they go. This is where I do a lot of my good work whenever they went to the bedroom.

It was always, it always felt pretty cool. So, Warren's post-cicket career was jam-packed. He worked as a cricket commentator around the world. In late 2009, of course, Warren hosted a variety chat show on Channel 9, called Warnie. Guests included Sir Michael Parkinson, Sting, Danny Minogue, and Coldplay's Chris Martin. But the show's ratings didn't reach expectations

on the final episode of the five episode run didn't go ahead. Despite this, Channel 9 was said to be impressed by Warren's hosting with a spokesperson saying, I think people were pretty impressed with Shane. He was very, very comfortable as a host, which is glowing praise. It's very funny to give Warning his own show and then as one of the guests bring on one of the best interviews in the world.

I think that they were mates and that one of the more famous serious interviews Warnie ever did was on Parkinson. But in the lead up to the show, Warnie said, I don't think Parko's shaking in his boots. Of course, we maybe know the show best because it gave us that classic line. What's your favorite cold place on? Mine's a scientist.

The day the news broke of Warnie's death, I was driving and they played a memorial package accompanied by Coldplay's Fix You. And I thought, they don't know him at all. I don't know him. Absolutely wrong. So close yet so far. He's been pretty open about it. Yeah. A listener found a tweet.

He tweeted about it as well. Bruce Spring, his favorite Bruce song, Stunder Road, which is my favorite Bruce song as well. Okay, there you go. Which made me think, maybe my favorite Coldplay song is the scientist. Warnie was also involved in a nightclub in Melbourne called Club 23 named after the number he wore in junior footy and international cricket.

Seven news called the club a celebrity after party hotspot where stars such as Tiger Woods Usain Bolt Harry Kuhle and Liz Hurley called at home during their trips down under lasted eight years before closing in 2019. I never got to go there. You guys here?

No, I've never been there. It was it Crown, which he just loved casino. Yeah, that makes sense. It was attached there. Warned other business interests, including, he had a lot of things. During his playing days,

his first big, he was like, I was earning 20 grand a year, and that slowly went up. But after a few years, he started getting endorsement deals. And that was when he started earning proper money. That's the big cash.

Nike, he had this Nike one and he was flown over to Nike headquarters and he hung out with Jordan. And, yeah, designed his own Shane worn shoes. like Nike Air Shoes. Well, they're like Michael Jordan. This is Shane Warren.

He's kind of the Michael Jordan of cricket. Cricket is like that. Yeah, wow. I mean, what a life, hey? Yeah. Packed a lot into 52 years. Just, yeah, just a kid from the burbs. Yeah.

Another one of his business interests was 708 gin, named after the amount of test wickets he took. So you can drink like Shane. I don't think I can drink like Shane, actually. And from 2020, you could also smell like Shane when he released SW23 by Shane Warn, the debut fragrance. That's the full title. Which, according to the company, quote, exudes sophistication, sensuality and warmth with sumptuous ingredients that envelope envelope envelop the senses. Why don't I do that to myself?

I'm sorry. But anyway, yeah, I've got to get myself some of that. Yeah, get yourself some SW23. Of the scent, Warnie said, I've had some good feedback from women. They seem to like this. People will notice you wearing it

and they will comment on how wonderful you smell. They notice you wearing it. Oh well, I gotta get some. You don't stink? Huh, you smell less like cigarettes. That's interesting.

Than usual. He was like, yeah. All profits from the sale of the cologne went to Melbourne-based children's charity deck my room which provides decorations for the hospital wards of pediatric and young adult patients. That is nice. That is very nice. He was very, he was often very charitable. He did like the whole way through his career and a lot of it goes unnoticed. Yeah. People, you kind of hope so in a

way, wouldn't you? Because if it's really flashy, it's like, who are you doing this for? Yeah, yeah. So I saw just a friend on Facebook, I think, had, they were talking about how they were involved in a, in a charity with sick kids and they went out to sort of like a Ronald McDonald's house type thing. Yep. And he bought three buses for them just to be able to take the kids back and forth. Oh, wow. And that was something like no one ever heard.

She only knew about it because, you know, she was involved. Yep. So, yeah, I think there was a lot of that sort of stuff going on behind the scenes. Most famously of his recent years, he donated his famous bag of green. which we know he didn't put up on a pedestal quite like tugger. Steve was like I'm not going to fucking sell mine. I still sleep with that. I want to say sleep with it.

That's my favourite child. I have sex with his hat every night. This hat is my wife and I will not be selling my wife. His nickname is Tugger. And he had that little red rag. That's what. Oh my God. A little red gum rag.

Anyway. So yeah, Warnie auctioned off the hat, the Beggy Green after the devastating bushfires of a couple years ago and it sold for $1 million. Wow. It now resides with Don Bradman's

at the Bradman Museum in Barrel which is so cool. So you can go to this little country town in New South Wales and see Warnie's hat with the Don's side by side. That's beautiful. Warn also launched...

Is it not... That is me the beautiful. That's nice. That's a nice touch. That's nice. It is. It is nice. That's beautiful.

Worn also launched the Shane Wound. It's like a sham wow, but it's a Shane wail. I really appreciate this sign, but you have misspelled mine. I'm not Shane wown, and I'm not a span bowler. I'm not a spanner. I'm Australia's most famous spanner. The Shanwhal Institute. for the dyslexic.

Shan Wow. So he launched the Shane Warren Foundation in 2004 and Australian not-for-profit organisation with the intention of assisting seriously ill and underprivileged children and teenagers. Warren worked hard for the foundation, but it also hit controversy due to alleged mismanagement.

According to Wikipedia.org, that great cricket info website, But Consumer Affairs Victoria commenced an investigation in 2015 into the Foundation after it failed to submit financial returns. Financial returns in 2014 had revealed the charity spent $281,434 on fundraising during the year, but its efforts only raised $279,198 net loss of a couple grand. Newspapers alleged that the organisation was only donating 16 cents in the dollar of its income. During one year, the chief executive of the foundation, his brother Jason, was paid a

salary of 80 grand, whilst only 54,600 was distributed to beneficiaries. The organization spent more than $300,000 on catering alcohol and prizes for events while posting significant annual losses. In January 2016, in response to what it termed unwarranted speculation, the foundation, announced its intention to distribute its final funds on the 18th of March 2016 and closed down. So I don't have closed down. He in his book, he talks about it a bit like it got a real bad rap. It's been misrepresented. How do you know?

I don't know. I'm just, I mean, I'm reading off Wikipedia. So, obviously a pretty handy and comprehensive resource there. Yeah, and always 100% accurate. In 2008, Melbourne singer and actor Eddie Perfect wrote and starred in Shane Warne the musical. Yeah, of course. went on to win the 2009 Helpman Award for Best New Australian Work and the 2008 Green Room Award for Best New Australian Musical.

While initially superstitious of the project, Warren later gave his approval after watching the show saying, I think Eddie and his team have written a musical in a respectful and sympathetic way and that they have captured my fun Larrick and side. The Herald Sons review of the show said, The musical is a wild, funny, outrageous and by the end, surprisingly moving account of the champion spinball's life so far. Among the fun, there's genuine respect for Warns enormous talent,

but it doesn't gloss over his personal failings. I really respect how when something like that is both making fun of you and he can go along and be in on the joke. And go, yeah, no, they've done well there, you know, rather than feeling defensive or attacked or embarrassed. Yeah, that's cool. Love that. One of my favorite things, this is, I think, the,

getting to the end of the report, but one of my favorite things about Warns post-cricot life was the mural he commissioned for his house. Do you know this one? Yep. I'll show it just for Bob, but I'll post a photo of this on social media. So it's basically his dream barbecue scenario.

So I'll just give you a quick look, Bob, and then I'll talk everyone through it. Okay. Jolly, Game of Cards here. Jack Nichols. Okay. Holding a VB slab. And that's at his house.

That's at his house. It was at his house, yeah. So there's a brief video. For some reason, he was interviewed about it at one point, and there's a brief clip of it on YouTube of someone filming their TV, but it cuts off halfway through, and that seems to be the only version of that interview out there. So in it, he talks about it a bit.

So I've got a bit of an insight. One Corner, one. warn is in conversation with Bruce Springsteen. He's holding a cricket ball. He's like, you know, imagine the conversations we could be having. Then he says, the legend Mick Jagger is just chilling. And you've got Frank Sinatra and Muhammad Ali singing along. Meanwhile, he says JFK is mixing with Sharon Stone and Marilyn Monroe,

while Jack Nicholson is bringing in a slab of VB in the center of the painting. And he's got that classic. like he is Johnny sort of grin. Angelina Jolie is lying on a lounge, naked apart from a sheep for some reason. And Chris Martin from Coldplay is having a bit of a chat with cricket of Michael Clark.

Elvis and James Dean also feature as well as Sean Connery's Bond playing poker with some of his poker. Some dogs. It was Joe Hasham. I think he was like a famous Australian poker player who's mates with Warnie, who was there too. What? Yeah, so pretty great.

And I don't know a lot about it. but I know what I like and I don't hate this In fact I fucking love it The media was very snooty about it Of course Like they have been with it It feels like a lot of stuff with him

Is kind of classist bullshit Yeah There's an article on stuff dot co dot New Zealand Which uh writes In a terrifying insight into the mind of Australia's Former King of Spin Shane's ultimate fantasy Has been revealed in a painting

That takes centre stage In the study of his Melbourne home Presumably Gandhi Nietzsche and Beethoven didn't make the cut. I mean, yeah, you're right, it is kind of classist and, but like, it's a bit of art for his house. Yeah. Who gives a shit?

It is also very funny. It's very funny. I mean, I love it. It's very funny. It's just so funny to be like, hmm. Oh, and yeah, criticizing him for not having people you think deserve more admiration. It's weird, isn't it? I could not tell.

I agree. I don't... I don't want that painting. I wouldn't commission that painting. I mean, I would. I'd go, just a quick change. Can you get me in that conversation

with Warnie and Bruce? Yeah. Was Michael Clark a good mate if he's... Yeah, that are great mates, yeah. He talks about it on how they're on tour and when his marriage is falling apart that Clark would just, he'd just sit with him for hours

just sort of keeping him company. That's nice. When he's really battling. Yeah. That's mateship. right there. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Buddy Ella, buddy dude. Bloody Oath, mate. Anyway, all good things must come to an end, and sadly, this one came to an end way too soon. On the 4th of March 22, at the age of 52, Warren died from natural causes, probably a heart attack, on the island of Kosamu in Thailand.

Kosamu, which we've been to, where I told the story of Booney. Oh yeah. His final, sorry, his death came on the same day as that a fellow Australian cricketer Rod Marsh, to whom Warren paid tribute on Twitter only a few hours prior to his own death. Six days after Warren's death, his body was returned to Melbourne on a private plane from Thailand. His statue of the MCG was flooded with tributes, including flowers, VBs, cans of baked beans and packs of darts. The sculpture of worn mid-delivery, which stands outside Gate 2 of the,

famous venue has been transformed into a makeshift memorial with dozens of floral bouquets bouquets sprawled around the pedestal. This is from Sky News. The site was visited by Warn's three children, Brooke, Jackson and Summer and their mother, Simone Callahan this week. Callahan later posted a montage of Warn with the kids on social media writing, Shane's greatest love, our children, Brooke, Jackson and Summer. Shane was taken too soon from their young lives.

Eternal love remains and will never leave. Phile Shane. Estate funeral is planned for the MCG. Actually, it would have already happened by the time this episode goes out, where the Great Southern Stand will also be renamed in his honor. I think it's going to be called the Shane Warren stand, which is amazing. It's been a Great Southern Stand forever. Yeah, that's incredible.

And it's the big stand where the big chunk of people sit. So I think that's very cool. So we're the old Bay 13thens in there. Wow. I remember There's a few memories I've been trying to figure out if I was at the game or the TV

Because I used to go to a lot of those one day One days in Australia used to be big You know the MCJ could get 80,000 people Amazing And I went to a bunch of them And there was one I'm sure I was in the crowd But it might be

I might be mixing memories Where the crowd Were throwing shit At the English players Like bottles and stuff And they wouldn't stop It got really out of control So they sent Warnie out to over and to tell the crowd to stop and they did.

He just like sort of signed. He said, cut it out. No, none of this. No throwing. And then he walked off the ground again and that was enough. Everyone's like, all right. All right. No, fair enough.

Fair enough. Yeah, no, fair enough. Well, we did go a bit far there, warning. Sorry, mate. We got a bit carried away. Sorry about that, mate. We probably shouldn't throw glass bottles at people trying to do their job. Yeah.

You're right. You're right. Sorry about that. Yeah, that was a different time. Yeah, wow. Getting glass bottles at a cricket grand. A silver lining of his death is that thousands of Australians apparently have been getting their heart health checked in the aftermath. Really?

And what has been dubbed as the Shane Warn effect. I mean, that was on a clip with Carl Stefanovic. So I don't know how widely the Shane Warn effect term is being used. But yeah, I mean, he was 52. Yeah. That makes people around that age, older. younger whatever sort of go oh shit you know yeah and he was you know like people talk about like one of these things that's all often talked about him is he was fat but he was never really you know

it's not like he was he was just a normal sort of guy yeah um and his weight did go up and down a little bit yeah it's so does everyone's yeah i know it's so hypocritical it's isn't it like there's people who you see um articles since he died mentioned his vanity and stuff. Are you getting Botox and stuff? You're like, what the fuck are you talking? Because you spent 20 years criticizing everything about how he looked and his body. And so then he did things to probably make himself feel better, but also, I don't know, to appease that.

And then you criticize him for that. Yeah. It's bullshit. It is such fucking bullshit. Anyway, let's not end on that negative note. I'm going to finish with a quote from ex-c cricket journalist and current shark on the chase. Can I, do you think I can call him friend of the show? Friend of the show, yeah.

Brighton Coverdale. He wrote this, I think, on the day of his passing. Shane, he's like, on Twitter, he's often tweeting out niche cricket facts and stats and stuff. Massive cricket nerd. And yeah, follow him if you're in a cricket. Brighton wrote, Shane Warren was first to 700 test wickets, an unfathomable milestone. But judging warn on stats is like counting how much. many words Shakespeare wrote.

It misses the point. He redefined his art. He made legs spin cool. He changed the game. The most influential cricketer of my lifetime. I love bringing in high-arty sort of things like Shakespeare. Because it wasn't Shakespeare at the time wasn't high-hearted either. Yeah, that's true, yeah.

But I love that line. Judging worn on stats is like counting how many words Shakespeare wrote. Oh, Shakespeare's so good. He wrote thousands of words. God he wrote. His players had fucking heaps of words. He was prolific with words. So that is my report on the late great Shane Warren.

I don't know if I could tell him. I was feeling like I might have cried to look into the end. And they're like this sort of saying before. You know what? Yeah. Yeah, it's funny to feel such big feelings about someone you never met. Yeah, but like you say, I mean, he grew up watching him. And he was one in a generation kind of place.

that was thrilling to watch. Yeah. And he died young. Just a, yeah, just a huge character and all those sort of things. I think I just always assumed, because we both love the Saints, we're around. I'm like one day, I'm going to have a night out with Warnie. I think I always just thought that would just happen one day.

You'll end up at the same sort of function. Yeah, yeah. You'll get to say good-day or something. Yeah. Yeah, well, well, well, done. What a great report. Yeah, well said. obviously it is a bit emotional,

especially as we were recording it even closer to the date of his death and maybe we are releasing it. Yeah, yeah. So it's, yeah, hit a lot of people hard. So well done, Matt. Well, that brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show, the fact quote or question section. It's also a section where we thank a bunch of our other great supporters.

I think this section, Bob has a little jingler goes to something like this. Fact quote or question. D. He always remembers the ding. And this is where we thank a lot of our great supporters to keep this show running. The first part, if you want to get involved, I should say, you can go to patreon.com slash dug-onpod or dug-onpod.com.

And, yeah, there's a bunch of different levels, all sorts of different rewards, bonus episodes. We do three every month. There's 140-odd available to you now. As soon as you support the show, you get access to all those bonus episodes. And there's also a great community on Facebook and on the Patreon for you to chat amongst like-minded.

individuals. So the first thing we like to do, though, is our fact quote or question section, which if you're on the Sydney-Sharmberg level, you have to give us a fact or quotient. That makes sense. And it can really be anything. It can be a brag, a suggestion, a recipe. Oh, yeah. Just anything.

Public announcement. Anything you want to be. It's your time to shine. Bit of advice. Yes. That's right. Well, the first one this week comes from Kelly Clark. And you also get to give yourself a title.

And Kelly's title is triptitchi fact quote and questioner. And Kelly has got a question here, which is, koala bears aren't bears. Do you know what they are? Matt, pause here for answers. Oh, do you know? Well, I know they're not bears. Yep.

It frustrates me, actually, when I'm watching TV or a movie or something and they say koala bear, I'm like, not a bear. It's just like a real, it doesn't. matter. Yeah. We all know what they're talking about. If you say koala bear, I know exactly what you mean. It's not worth me getting that upset about, but I fucking do.

Just an irrational thing. It's not a bear. They're not marsupials, are they? How much can a koala bear? It's funny. Whenever I see... Musupils lay eggs. I see a koal.

No, no. Marsupils are pouches. Ah yeah, yeah. Sorry. Monotremes are egglaying musupils. Like the platypoles. Eggling mammals. The platypus and the echiner.

Yeah. It's funny. Every time I see a qualipalus. on TV, I yell it, it's not a reptile. Yeah. Just instinctively. But nobody says it. Nobody says, oh, it's a koala lizard.

Yeah, they don't. Idiot. So it's not a bear. What is it? Cute. To some sort of fluffy mammal. Kelly says, they're criminals. Yeah, they're fucking criminals.

Quala bear fingerprints are scientifically indistinguishable from finger fingerprints under forensic analysis. So koala bears could be running around committing all sorts of koala bear crimes and leaving their koala bear crimes and leaving their koala bear fingerprints all over the crime scene to frame human beings. Oh my God. Australian police think that koala bears, are you loving how many times she said koala is? It's killing me.

Australian police think that koala bears have actively impeded criminal investigations. Wake up sheeple. This is a quote from at wow underscore it's underscore A in on TikTok. Wow. Great quote. Thank you so much. Kelly Clark for your. contribution. That is good.

The next one comes from Katie Clay's, who's got the title of Mother of the Sass Queen. Huh. Huh. There you go. Is that you? Yeah. I feel like Katie hasn't changed her title from last time because I remember last time we had that exact conversation. Do we?

Is that you? Yeah. Katie's offered a fact, which is three fun facts about Broome, Western Australia. One, Gabinge. A bushfruit found in Broome And on the dampier Peninsula Is known to have the highest vitamin C of any fruit in the world Cool

Gould! Take that, oranges Yeah, sucked in Two, pearl meat is a delicacy in broom And retails for around $150 per kilo Pearl meat. Yeah, I guess it's in the... Yeah.

Does that mean in the oyster or whatever? I guess so. Or the clam? Where do you get a pearl? I don't know. Talking to the wrong person. Or is this totally something else entirely? Is Pearl and a...

animal that I just haven't heard of. What does Pearl a person? Oh, she just has a, she's a great butcher. Pearl's meat. And come on down. Come on down to Pearl's meat. We're closed Saturdays, which is a bad business decision. But anyway, I love watching the get big games.

Three. So I'm closed. Three, before the levee bank was built in 1974, cinema-goers at Sun Pictures, the world's oldest outdoor cinema, would lift their feet as the tide came in. That sounds awesome. Rumor has it that you could catch a fish during a screening. That is so cool.

That's cool. I saw a great video during the recent flooding up north, and obviously it was a tough time, but there was one great video of a guy on the pokies with the window open and the water was up and he had a fishing right out there. So he's having a drinking a beer on the pokies while fishing out the window. And they say men can't multitask. It's really trying his luck.

So Katie says, I share these facts in the hope to entice you to come and do a live episode in Broome, which would only be a 10-hour drive from my place, so I'd for sure make the trip for you, lot, and some broom time. Little context on my title, my four-year-old daughter, must be taking tips from the Sass Twins as she's literally, she's really testing me with her sassiness. Thank you, Katie Clay's. That's great, Katie Clays. I haven't been to Broom. I would love to go.

I don't know. It's a long way away, but I'd love to be there. It's a long way away. I think my brother is, you know, in that area, and we're thinking it would be nice to go and visit him because I haven't seen him for a while, but it is a long way to go. Sounds like it could be worth the trip with those three facts.

Absolutely. Next one comes from Ben Johnson, who has the title, Hi, I'm American actor Ben Johnson. You may remember me from such films as she wore. or a yellow ribbon, wagon master, and chisholm. I do, Ben. Ben has got a question. Hi, Matt.

Can you read this first part in a joke nasty way? Like mean it, like mean but fun. Also, wink at Dave so he knows it's a joke. All right. Also, don't read out this bit. Thanks. Oh, fuck. Well, I mean, you don't read it until you read it.

So that's fair enough. I've said that many times. Yeah. I think maybe Ben was hoping that would happen. Yeah, he's probably. That was a test. That all went exactly as he planned. Now do the mean bit.

All right, question. How long does it take to read one fucking book? Answer. I'll let you know when the book cheat episode comes out. Is it because Ben was he the one who commented something and you stopped doing? Is that Ben? Or is this a different thing? Which one of your many bookcheek beefs is this about?

Ben is wanting me to read a brief history of time by Stephen Hawking. Uh-oh. The pitter-patter of a little dog. Hey, goos is home. After a long, hard day's work. I'd love to point out that you didn't fucking wink at me, so I didn't get any of the humor. It just came across as an attack, Ben. Okay, well, this makes sense because there's a bonus fact.

When Stephen Hawking was diagnosed with motor neurone disease in 1963 at the age of just 21, he was estimated a life expectancy of two more years, but he showed those doctors the metaphorical middle finger and live for another 55 years, dying in 2018 at the age of 76. Today, Hawking is buried at Westminster Abbey alongside the likes of Sir Isaac Newton and Charles Dickens. Hi.

What did you think of that fact there? Goosey boy? What do you think? That's me. That's me. Hey, goose. Hi, Goosey. Hey, pop-pop.

Oh, yes, I can hear it. It's coming through loud and clear, Goosey. Oh, he and me. Any, any. taught to Ben? Ben, I've been doing a lot of reading in my little break from book cheats, and when we come back, some new books will be covered. Yeah, he's been doing some reading, like vows.

Yeah, that's right, reading out my vows. Ben, you just got to stay tuned like everyone else. Booksheet. We'll be back soon, and we'll see, will I cover. Booksheet will return. Thank you, Ben. And finally, from Daniel Ryan, aka, dude who can't think of a good title, has got a brag.

Love a brag. Love a brag. We love to see it brag. Daniel writes, I recently got a job which allows me to support the pod in a way it deserves. Oh, that's nice. Thanks for the years of entertainment. It's helped me through breakups, deaths and so much more hardship, which I'm sure is true for so many other listeners. Oh, thank you, Daniel.

That's so nice, Daniel. That's such a nice. And congrats on the new gig. Bit bragy for me, but. Yeah. Thanks, sir. That's very lovely. Yeah, congrats on the gig. I hope you're loving it.

That's great. Another thing we like to do here at DoGoOn is thank a few of our other supporters. Normally with the little game Jess has come up with based on the topic at hand. So we're going to thank three supporters each. And Jess, what do you reckon? What are we going to give them each? Could be a nickname, she could tweak style. Yeah, I was thinking nickname.

But we do that offer, but we could go nickname. or I was thinking the two sports they're very good at. Because, you know, he was very good at footy. He was a jewelie. And then chose. And tennis? And tennis? Yeah, okay.

All right. Just an all round. No, let's go to run out of sports. You know, one that they sort of like was their first passion and then something that took over. Great. Love that. I think. And then I'll try and give him a rhyming.

No, that'll be very brutal. I'm glad you chose this one instead. It's too confusing. Yeah. I'd love to thank. If I may begin from Fitzroy North here in. Melbourne, Australia. Dean Caldwell. Dean Caldwell was actually very good at soccer. Yeah. As a young person and then actually what happened is one particular game, a fellow player sort of fell in front of him and Dean did this very cool like jump over.

And there was actually an athletic scout in the stand and went, ooh, that was quite a high jump you just did there. You might be very good at hurdles. Yeah. And he was known as the rocker of soccer ever since. I was thinking fucker of soccer. Yeah, that's, I think that one's going to make the most sensible ones we do. We've started very good there. Thank you.

Next up from Yarrowara in New South Wales, Australia. It's Anna. Anna. Anna, of course, very good swimmer growing up. Yes. One of the best. Anna the fish, they called her. She booked a table.

Mish fish. She booked a table at her local swimming club, but there was a bit of a mix-up, and she accidentally booked the pool table inside the clubhouse and was very good at it and became Snooker World Champion. Left the pool behind. Wow. The puker of Snooker.

She spewed up success. You said, oh God, thank God, I don't have to come up with nicknames and you're doing it anyway, and you're doing amazingly. And finally, from our, love to thank from Collingwood also here in Melbourne, Australia. It is Liz Brandt. Liz Brandt. Obviously, Liz, a champion dancer as a child.

Hungry, hungry hippos. That's that, that's Liz's second sport? Yeah. Hungry, hungry hippos. Yeah. Okay. Wow. See, Dave and I have been like building stories around how things have happened.

But yeah, dancer and then hungry, hungry hippos. Well, the story is she was practicing dancing. in her living room when she accidentally stood on one of the hippo's balls and invented a new move, which she called the hippo. And then the good people at Mattel or whatever the brand, Nesley, who probably make Neslai, whoever make Hungry, hungry hippos, the chocolate version of. Yeah.

They came by and said, we want to sponsor you. We've actually got a hippo tournament coming up. She played, was a natural, won the tournament, and became officially a double. threat. Yeah. So pretty cool for Liz there. May I thank some people as well?

Please. Please do. I would love to thank from Arlesworth in Great Britain. Is in London? Laura Diggin. Laura. Or Digen? Laura Digan.

Laura Diggin. Bowling down Degon's alley. Beautiful. 10 pin bowler. I forgot what the next part of that was. I was going to say 10. 10 pin bowling. Pin bowling, yeah, so a real good 10 pin bowler.

Yeah, wow. And after that, one time the cleaner was early cleaning the lanes, and Laura broke his ankle. Broke the cleaner's ankle. The cleaner's ankle with the bowling ball. Oh, my God. And after that was spotted by talent scouts from the heavy industry. And she went into deck collecting and became a world champion.

Debt collector. Oh, wow. Breaking ankles, taking kneecaps. She did it all. Yeah. Okay. That's very impressive. And well done to you, Laura.

I would also love to thank from Hastings here in Victoria, Heidi Russell. Heidi Russell, of course, started out as a fencer as a child. Yes. Yeah, a lot of children starting. Sword play. Yeah. Sword play. And then obviously, when you're a child, people throw.

siblings throw things at you. Yes. And Heidi was just hitting them back in the air. And then someone said, you know what? You should play badminton. Yes. So, world champion badminton player. That's good.

That's right. I wanted to be a fencer. Rocker of the shuttle cocker, they called her. Yes, that's what they called Heidi. Finally, for me, I'd love to thank from Lang Warran, also in Victoria. Natalie Spirerson. Natalie Spirerson. played in the WMBA highest level of basketball.

Yep. But when shooting a shot was discovered, someone sitting the crowd said, shooting, geez, she's got a shooting. Yeah. It said, imagine if we took the ball out of a hand and put a gun in there. Okay.

Classic America. She went to the Olympics, one gold in clay pigeon shooting if that is. Wow. Wow. What is it called? Clay shooting? Trap.

Trap. Yeah. And she also, yeah, this doesn't count, but also got in her music and made a trap album was also big, underground but big. That is amazing. That is amazing. Yeah.

Dave, do you want to take us home? Hey, I'd like to take you home by thanking from Helston in Great Britain. The name is all one word, holler me. Holla me. Holla me. Holla me. Holla me. Holler me.

Holler me. Everything is all right. Remember that song? That's one of my bottom ten old-time songs. Uncle Cracker. Bottom ten. Yeah. What else is in there?

I'd love to hear this. Scar tissue by red-hot chili peppers. No. Yeah. Last Kiss by Pearl Jam. Oh, where. Is that one? Yeah.

Would my baby be... These songs aren't that. They're not that bad. No, but that's not a good pale jam. I think maybe it's because they're often by... pretty, you know, pretty decent bands, but they're just dull songs. Yeah, okay, that's understandable. I haven't updated the list in a long time.

I've become more positive since my angsty. Holler me. Started out. In rowing. Started out in rowing. Yeah, okay. Yeah, in the rowing. And then one time had an elbow injury.

So they were sitting out for a little while. And so they were doing a lot of lower body exercise while the elbow healed. And they were discovered doing... Futsi. Professional Futsi, that's right. Were you looking for help? Yes. Foothie.

Fooths. Foothsul. No, footsie. Fooths. Under the table. Under the table footsy. Like the classic Ronnie Chang bit, I won. That's why we were playing footsie with his sister.

Playing footsie with my sister. I won. Yeah, great couple of sports there from Holla me. Holomey. I would like to thank from Coburg here in Victoria, Jess Mitchell. Jess Mitchell, of course, started out skiing. Yep. And ended up after falling off a slope down a cliff, she started rock climbing.

Oh, right. Self-taught for survival. Just had to come back up. Yeah. Got real good at it. It's amazing what you can learn when your life to depends on it. Yeah.

You know, I think that's what I was missing at school. The stakes were not high enough. Yeah, like if the swimming coach had put their gun to your head and said, look, you're going to do the freestyle in under two minutes. Maybe I would have done it. Yeah. But nobody was pushing me. Yeah.

So I was like, nah, I can't do swimming. I got my period. That worked every time. Every time. You heard that for quite a lot. Yeah, I know. I know. That's why I need to sit out.

Yeah. Oh, thanks, Jess. And finally, I like to think from, That's Jess Mitchell, I'm thinking, not you. I would like to thank you. Never you. Never me. The only thing from East Victoria Park in Western Australia.

Why is that East Victoria Park in Western Australia? It couldn't be more west from Victoria. Erin Holbeach. Aaron Holbech is a fantastic name. And actually quite fitting because Erin is a champion surfer. Spent a lot of time at the beach. Okay. Champion surfer.

Not bit by shark. Oh, yeah. Well, that bit, like a little bite, didn't, you know. A small nibble. Small nibble, but it made Aaron think, you know, and then Aaron got really into cycling. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, right, I'm not going in the water anymore. Yeah, you know what? Surfing and then I get all sandy. And I've already, I'm already a world champion of that. Yeah. Yeah, I've, like, I've clocked it. Yeah, done.

It's boring to me now. What else? So, yeah, then Aaron's a champion cycling. You know, the ones in the little velodrome. Oh, yeah. That's pretty cool. Roundy round. Yeah, the Roundy Roundies and the Olympics?

Very cool stuff. Did you see the Olympics? The most recent Olympics when the guy's handlebars fell off his bike? Yeah. That was cool. Yeah. Not actually. He was going quite fast and it was a bad injury.

Yeah, it was full on. Crazy. Anyway. Thank you so much to Aaron. Jess, Hollomey, Natalie, Heidi, Laura, Liz, Anna and Dean. And the last thing we like to do here is thank a few of our long-term supporters. They've been on the shout-out level or above for three straight years. The Triptage Club, this is a club that's both in our hearts and minds.

It's the theatre of the mind. I'm going to be standing at the door. There's a velvet rope. I've got a clipboard. If your name's on it, I'm going to welcome you in after lifting up that rope. Dave's on stage. He's going to really hype you up. He's your hype man.

Everyone who's already in the club is there chanting along with your name. Jess is hyping Dave because he's not very good at this and he needs a bit of backup. That's not the reason. It's because it's nice to hype up the hype man. Yeah, it's nice to be nice. Nice to your friends. And then Jess. Unlike you, you don't know.

Well, that's fucking about you. Jess is a double threat. She's also behind the bar coming up with a cocktail. What's the Warnie? It's VB. VB. Vee. But I put it in a tall glass and I put an umbrella in it.

Oh, fantastic. Yeah, and it's ice cold. Breadball vodka's also available. Also, it's always available. It's an open bar. And Dave, you normally book a band? You're never going to believe this. What?

I obviously booked this months and months and months in advance. Yeah, so what? You're telling me that it somehow coincides with what we've talked about today. I somehow have the greatest quattro of all time. What? What? What? We've got Chris Martin.

No. The boss, Bruce Springsteen. What? Old Blue Eyes himself, Frank Sinatra. Oh my God. And on harmonica, Shane Keith Warren. Whoa. All performing together.

That is time, I didn't mention that story, but he did play harmonica with Coldplay on stage. I saw them. I was at that gig. Really? You were too. We've talked about that. The whole crowd was like, is that Shane Warren? That's so cool.

It was very. surprising but now a great memory. So, so cool. And then he was, honestly, he was in key. He was a decent harmonica player. I love that. Him with the boss, Frank, and... Wow, that'd be beautiful.

Chris. It's interesting that you didn't have Muhammad Ali there singing along like he is in the mural famous. You can't get everyone. No, that's true. We'll try, we're still working on to getting Mahan. I contact these people all the time. All right, so we've got seven inductees.

Are you ready to bring them in? Are you ready to? to not be a grumpy negative ass when Dave does an amazing job. Okay. Dave used to do such a great job. Don't get me wrong. He used to a while back. When?

When did I do a good job at this? Early days, but I feel like you've lost the passion. Anyway, let's see if it has returned when we welcome in from Seattle in Washington and the United States. Stephanie P. Stephanie P, the one for me. Come on there. Stephanie. Oh, maybe he is back.

And from four ways in. Z-A is that Switzerland or something? No, where do I get Switzerland from Z-A? Z-A? Z-A. Jeez, that's halted. Yeah, it could be. Z-A.

Oh, South Africa. Ah. Oh, pardon us. From South Africa, from four-ways in South Africa. It's Beatrix Williams. Beatrix Williams from four-ways. Four-way stop. Everyone stop.

Beatrix is here. Come on. Come on through, Patrick's. I don't know if I fully understand. Shut up. Shut up. Covington in Kentucky in the United States, it's Ray Jan Wilson. You can call him Ray. You can call him Ray.

You can call him Ray Jan. You can call him Wilson, but we'll call him Ray Jan Wilson. Yes, and welcome. St. John in Indiana in the United States, it's Kathy Payonk. Oh, Kathy, pay on. Kathy's paying off. Paying off. Yes.

From Zephyrillus in Florida in the United States It's Albert Favra Sorry, that really is that pronunciation really from you know. Albert Favra Just your lack of confidence in the word is very funny Favra You're my favour Yeah, okay, great, yes, good.

From Oxnard in California in the United States It's Brian Stafford We're running out of steam We really are You are on the momentum Oxnard is a foxnard Yes, Brian. And finally, from Austin, Texas, stay weird.

In the United States, it's Alec Ruiz, Guerero. Ruiz, more like rulers. Yeah, Alex Rueless. Welcome into the club, Alec, Brian, Albert, Kathy, Ray Jen, Beatrix, and Stephanie. And that brings us to the end of the episode. Pop, do we have to tell them anything before we go? Just if you want to suggest a topic, you can do so. There's a link in the show notes.

You can also do it at do go onpod.com. and you can follow us on all social media. Do Go OnPod across all those and do go on pod at gmail.com if you want to flick us an email. Love that. Nice. Hey, we'll be back next week

with another episode as we always are, but until then, I'll say thank you and I'll say goodbye. Later. Bye! In April 1990, oh geez, a couple of friends of mine are almost born.

I don't know that time. Darrell and Jen Jessington. Jen Jessington? Jen Jessington. Darrell and Jen Jessington Are they married?

Is that a couple? No, no, they're brother and a sister Oh, okay That twins My friends I was born in 1990 It doesn't matter I don't know what

Well if they say brother and sister And they were both born Yeah Maybe nine months apart Jess Okay that's literally what I was about to say You rude fuck One was born early in the year

I'm not sure why you brought up Daryl and Jen But yeah they're great people I said, Jessington. Yes, let's move on. They sound... They sound... They sound really hot, though.

They sound really hot. They're cool people. No way. And they've definitely fucked. Oh, for sure. Not each other. Not each other to be very clear. We did say their brother and sister, but...

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