Do Go On - 338 - A Brief History of Aviation (with Midflight Brawl)

Episode Date: April 13, 2022

This week we have a special episode of Do Go On, as we do a crossover with Luke Heggie and Nick Cody from Midflight Brawl. We start with a brief history of aviation, and see what it's all inevitably built towards... Biffs and brawls in the sky!Come to our live podcasts in April: https://www.trybooking.com/BXSIVSee our quiz show live in Melbourne: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/the-quiz-showSee Matt and Alasdair live in Melbourne (with discount code 'dogoon'): https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/honk-honk-hubba-hubba-ring-a-ding-dingSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.space.com/16657-worlds-first-commercial-airline-the-greatest-moments-in-flight.htmlhttps://www.budgetairlineguide.com/low-cost-airlines-history-how-it-all-got-started/https://gizmodo.com/what-international-air-travel-was-like-in-the-1930s-1471258414https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/roadwarriorvoices/2016/01/10/this-is-what-it-was-like-to-fly-in-the-1930s/83283086/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Hey everyone, just Dave here dropping in at the top of the episode to say that you're about to hear a very special edition of Do Go On. We've done a crossover episode with MidFlight Brawl, our great friends, Lukigi and Nick Cody.

So it's a normal report coming up just with a little bit of a spin on it. But we're also got some live shows coming up. This Sunday, April 17 and April 24, we're doing two live podcasts at the European Beer Cafe. We'd love to see you there. Also, we've been moved to a bigger venue for our quiz show, the final one of the run, Monday, April 18th, and we have some very, very big surprise guests booked in.

So we'd love to see you there. You can find the links to the tickets in the show notes, as well as some details about Matt Stewart's comedy shows that he's doing with Alsa Tromley-Burtial at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. That show is, of course, Hongkong, Haba, Humber, ringer, ding, ding. Oh, I'm so glad you said it. And I'm also coming to Canberra, Sydney and Brisbane. Check out Matschewort Comedy.com for details.

I'm here too. Okay, now on with the special episode. Welcome to the Do Go On Mid-Flight Brawl. God, this is a mouthful. Crossover, Spectacular. Spectacular. Yeah. I like that.

Why not? Jeez, I'm so happy you got to name it. What did you've gone on? Mid-flight brawl plus guests. They never mentioned names. Yeah, no, I think we've done it right there. You never have a name check? It's spectacular.

My name's Dave for people who don't know me. I'm here with Jess. We do a podcast called Do Go On with our esteemed colleague Matt Stewart. Yep. But Acast have said only one ranger on a show at a time. He's on the bench until I tuck up myself out and we'll get him in. How long will that be? Oh, I don't know.

At Brecky Radio, I could go for seven, eight minutes. Okay. Then if you play a song, I'm all right for a bit longer. Repeat. I'm going to say mashups for me. Are you going to say a name? I'm Nick Cody. And I'm Lou Kiki.

And we're from mid-flight brawl for the people, most people are listening to this who don't know who the fuck we are. I'm in two minds with mash-ups. In terms of music, if I like a song, I'll just listen to it, then I'll listen to another song and enjoy them both. You know, I'm widely known for my open mind.

Man, hopefully this works. As I said, commercial radio, I think every second song, you go, fuck yeah, Fleetwood Matt, hold on. What's this bloke done to it? That's a motto of commercial music, isn't it? Fuck, yeah, Fleetwood Mac.

My favourite at the minute is There's a song called Toxic Pony Which is a genuine Britney Spears matchup Yeah, no, I could have I could have guessed that one I reckon, yeah If I had to have a stab Is it genuine?

Genuine? Genuine? Genuine. Yes. I don't know, you're the 40-odd-year-old from Queensland if anyone was going to know R&B from the 90s early 2000. I know a lot.

It's not rum and bourbon by the way, just so you know. All right. Anyway, thanks guys for having us on your podcast. I think so on your podcast. We're putting it out on both feeds to capture the beautiful listeners of both podcasts. So for people who don't know mid-flight brawl, tell us what it is. Well, it's a podcast each week where we cover a different scrap on a plane pretty much.

There's a lot of people fighting on planes on the ground in the air. Sometimes in the airport. We just did a Spirit Airlines episode recently, and sometimes you don't even get to the plane before you think, fuck this. I'm belting everywhere. And people always ask it. They just think it's like, well, you're doing a thing where you cover plain fights or plain incidents. They don't necessarily have to be fights.

People, what are they normally doing? What's their excuse? There's a lot of yelling. There's breakdowns. Yes. Fain illnesses. There's, you know, trying to get free stuff. Nothing is ever anyone's fault is the major overriding thing.

Generally, nothing is anyone's fault. I tried this sleeping tablet for the first time. and I had, you know, 86 beers, plus I'm anxious. And the lawyer also said to tell you that I have depression. It's just whatever you need except to say, I fucked up on a plane. We've done 100 odd episodes. Never has someone to put their hand up. Grant Hackett put his hand up.

Oh, yeah? No, pretty much no one else has. It all, you know, wasn't me. Hackett put his hand up on the plane and reach forward to the seat in front, nipple crippled a bloke. So he put his hand up before he had to put his hand up. The reaching across is very funny as well. Allegedly.

Allegedly. We say that a lot. There was one episode. I've been listening to a lot of your show lately. One that really stood out in my feet. I think it was called Homemade Parachia. Oh, man, yeah. I was like, I'm listening to that one.

It was just a tent from Kathmandu or something. This was like put together with a curtain sash off the plane and tried to hijack it. Fill up everyone and jump out. Oh, my God. Yeah, Filipino MacGyver slash DB Cuba. I don't want to spoil it for Jess, but imagine how it ends. I'm going to guess, not well. Well, yeah, I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but it's just like a knuckle and a knee hanging out of the mud.

Yeah. And I want to give much away, but they didn't find DB Cooper, and that's quite the opposite of what happened with our blog. They definitely found him. Yeah, but that's good. I like a resolution, you know. David Cooper, you're like, what's? Exactly. I'm like, where is he?

What's happened? This guy, no question. Did you just have a Warnie episode? Yeah. Come out. Was that recorded before? Because we did a, we've got a spin-off podcast for our Patreon subscribers called Landlaricans. And we did a cricket special.

All-time Grab 11 filled every position. Who else was in the 11? Well, not many Aussies. Terry Jenner, Warnie's coach, funnily enough. another spin bowler from the 70s. It's done time. A few subcontinental murderers and stuff. Oh, okay.

So we're properly crook. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like drug traffickers from West Indies, English grubs. Only a couple of proper, you know, lovable larricans like your Warnies and your Ben Stokes. Yeah. Just bashing and, you know, philandering, what have you.

But some of them are quite sinister. But you can't leave a murderer. Like, there is a suggestion that murder is quite high on the list of crimes. So you can't leave the out of the other than that. You can't know. You're 12th man and you're the murderer. You're like you. What are you going to do?

Come on. He didn't date at least early though. Sorry, man. You've got to wait for an injury. Sorry, mate. That's just how it works. No, we did do that after the fact, luckily. So it wasn't like, we were like, yeah, he's the best.

He's going to live forever. Oh, man. Ours was on the day. Oh, wow. Like ours before. Yeah. And the next week, we'd done something on a wrestler who died the week off that. Oh, yeah.

Things aren't looking good for you. Stay home. I am home. So how's this mashup going to work? Well, so you guys do mid-flight incidents or airport incidents as it is. We have a more broad sort of topic choice. We pick something from history and take it in terms to do a report on it, basically. We have done some brawley type stuff.

I've been looking back, because we've done over 300. episodes. We've covered quite a few topics. You've covered history. You've got to look forward to the future. Yeah, we're doing a lot of reports on hoverboards. Just guess. I reckon they're going to be sick.

End of report. I have to say, I'm disappointed in the present because when I was a kid, the future was presented as everyone gets their own fucking robot. Yeah. Where's mine? No robot. That was 2000 was a magical towards 2000. Then it was beyond 2000.

What's the next thing? It's just a rumba. That's fucked. It doesn't even vacuum properly. into shit. Just get stuck on the things, yeah. Real shit robot. That's what I never said.

We'll have a really bad robot. Cheap labor replaced robots. Yeah. Got a pair of shoes for four bucks. Thanks robots. Thanks little robots. Jesus. Grib.

How's your sleep a night? He'd be calling robots. So we've done a couple of, we've done the malice at the palace. Yep. The NBA all of the 90s. We had Josh Earl come in and tell us about that. Big NBA fans, that was fun. Do you remember this one?

Jess, we did the Toronto clown riot. Absolutely not. Do you know that? No. What, like an affair? It was circus clowns versus a bunch of firefighters. Did I do that report? Yeah.

Was it organized like a back of the sheds sort of thing? Or they just kicked off. It just sort of erupted. Great. Even better. But you remember more about it, Jess. That's so good that it's your report. You've written a report.

On Toronto clowns punching on with firefighters? I don't know. I don't remember anything from this podcast. When we started six years ago, I thought, this is great. This is going to make me a lot smarter. I'm going to get better at pub trivia. Nothing. Turn off the mics.

It's all gone. It's useless. What your favourite? Next question? Favorite Toronto clowns vibe? I don't know. That sounds made up. Anyway, next.

That's a trick. No clue. Is it lunch? We haven't lunch? That's me. So, but for this sort of mashup, I thought, Hage, you know, I've been coming up with a little plan here, and that is maybe that I could talk a little bit about the history of flight.

Oh, beautiful. The good old days. Oh, all the romance. It was, you know, gentlemen working out how to get into the air. Yeah. Oh, that far back. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Well, even further back, my friend. Wow. Oh, my God. How we basically got to where you are now, where people are kicking the shit out of each other. Just descent into what it is today. That's probably what it was. It was probably someone saw the Wright brothers. I can't wait until they're bigger.

I'm going to fucking bash them. Just biting their time. When we can all get on. Look at these pricks. Showing on. I'm going to bash him. Just that sentence is funny. I'm going to bash him.

And I'm one of those people. I would not be on the first. A lot of people. No. I don't want the first round of vaccine. I don't want the first plane. I don't want this SpaceX. You want to go up there with Pete Davidson?

No. No, thank you. I'll wait until it's a regular, like this 10 leaving Melbourne airport a day. Yes. Then I'll go into space. Absolutely, yeah. Yeah. Not before.

The first five. And also any aircraft or it's like, it's going to leave it 417. And then they see two clouds and go, fuck, it's off. You go, well, if you're that worried. If you can't hang around for a bit and then take off on it. I don't trust it We'll come back every day for five weeks Clear the schedule

So yeah Well we'll get there But I have gone way back Yeah go on It turns out mankind has wanted to fly for ages Okay Yeah Like a long long time

But it was just jumping I was just known as jumping Seriously Seeing what happens And to be honest For a long time It didn't go well Even Greek mythology

As the legend of Dettilus and his son, Icarus. Oh, I didn't know. I just know Icarus. Yeah. Too close to the son. What's his dad's name? Diedalus.

Oh, Dedalus. Dedalus. I thought you said Dettalus, which just sounds like a rough nickname to give a bloke that died from fucking old Dettalus over there. And you said it way too soon. It's like he's just died. And everyone was like, come on.

He hasn't hit the ground. Check out, deadalus. It's got to be a big impact. He might pull through. No, we won't. He said, deadless. So, yeah, he wanted to, he created wings by combining leather, feather, leather, probably, feathers and wax.

Icarus was told by his dad not to fly too close to the sun and not too close to the water below. Okay. So could either melt or you get clogged up with water. Sure. He went, you know, you're talking about that. Yeah. I'll have a crack at this.

He ignored him, and he flew too close to the sun, the wax melt, and son of deadalus, Icarus, gone. And similar stories are apparently. found across Europe, India and in China as well. In terms of mythology. Mythology, yeah. And sort of how people have wanted to fly brages. There's loose units everywhere.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, seriously. Yeah. It's not a bogan with a monster energy hat thing. No, they're all over the world. It doesn't matter. It is a defective humanity. I want to get up there.

But even after it's been perfected, people are still trying to do their makeshift. Oh. They can fly a fucking lawnmower or, you know, like, God, a guy's car took off because you put rocket fuel in it and drove to it. We did once a report on lawn chair Larry, you know? Oh, yeah. Who stuck a bunch of helium. He flew over the L.A.

Like up. Yeah. But like in the 70s. And like, they had to let. They had to let radio pilots to watch out for him and not run into him. Yeah. He was in L.A. over the airport for a long time.

Yeah. And then you get up high enough and then he goes, how am I going to come down? Then some of the balloons start popping. You go, uh-oh. Yeah. I should listen to my dad. He said not too high. I saw a YouTube video the other day of a guy that took one of those big, almost like fan type thing.

Yeah. Really higher. He went proper high. Gloves on. He was like 30,000 feet. What? Yeah. Got up there.

Or just holding up the fan. Yeah. I forget the exact. Whoa. It was three weeks ago. I've had a lot of beers between them and now. But how to go? Did he stay up there?

Yeah. And then he came down. No, he came down. He's still there. He's stuck. Only affordable real estate. I live up here now. I'm on the clouds.

Wow. At what point can't you breathe? Like, surely. Maybe he wasn't that high that fuck. That's crazy. He went proper high though. Like you did have to watch out for aircraft. Wow.

You can still breathe. I'm not going to play pretty hard. But what are you going to do? They're coming out you pretty quick. Yeah. Turn your fan around. Here comes one. Just get off the road.

Stop laughing. Stop laughing. Well, the earliest example of man-made flight probably can be traced back to China where they flew kites, several hundred years, B.C. Large kites were developed, some big enough to carry people. Wow. Which I read they used for military movement sometimes,

but also for punishment. They just hook you up to a kite and say, see you alone. Just kill you. Yeah. Well, they'd hope you'd get killed, like if you landed in a better country. Great.

Got away from the people trying to kill me. That's pretty great though to be strapped. It's like you might die as punishment or you're a hero. Yeah. You've got to take part in flight. That's just life. You might have a beautiful experience soaring through the air. Well, to me that's like the hot air balloons that take off around Melbourne.

Yeah. I just look at every one of those as a 50-50 proposition. even though I assume they're a lot safer. But how many do you hear about it? It's probably once a month you hear one just coming down and someone's backyard in Greensboro or something. Yeah. They're always coming down.

Coming down, deflated coming down. Yeah, there's crash landing. Really? You kind of have to crash land them. Did you know that? I'm misremembering. I went in one years ago and you, to land them, they don't just sort of land nicely.

You sort of have to brace and ideally the basket tips over. And you're like sideways. What happens to all your champagne and strawberries when that happens? You've got to finish. them before you land. You're absolutely shit face by the end. That helps you with the fall. Stay loose.

You know what I mean? Just roll out. Let's go again. Progress was stunted for centuries by mankind's obsession with the flight of birds, thinking that if they can do it like that, why can't we? We don't have wings. That's fair enough. That's before TV.

You're just looking out of the window going, fuck, that looks sick. That looks really good. No, footie on. Look at that budgie having a ripper. of a time. And for hundreds of years, inventors from around the world focused on ornithopters,

which are machines in which flapping wings generate both lift and propulsion that emulated the way birds fly. Sadly, these often did not end. That was in the curly mustache era. It's a penny farther. They should just start to boxing. Polite boxing.

The Notre Dame fighting Irish logo. Well, it goes back really far is in 852 AD, Armand Furman, which is a great name, placed feathers all over his body and attached wing-like garments to his arms. Then he just jumped from a tower, hoping for the best. Was that Birdman Raleigh? The original Birdman Raleigh. Did he get the best?

Well, his attempt was unsuccessful. His efforts slowed his descent just enough to allow him to survive. So maybe that is not. That's worse. That's even worse. Because he survived, but every bone in his body is broken. Right? He survived to feel the pain.

Yeah. His conclusion was he didn't fly far because unlike birds, he didn't have a tail. Yes. Oh, that was it. Yeah. Next time, they're like, mate, there will not be a next time. Yeah, it's got nothing to do with power to weight ratio or... Nothing to that.

The fact that you're just a man with feathers on. I don't think it's the feathers that are doing all the work, you know? It's like just putting glasses on a bird and go, what did he pass uni? You go, well, it's small than that. It's not just the thing on him. Look, he's a really smart bird. Why doesn't he have a medicine degree? Oh, then some really smart people from all over Europe

were absolutely thinking about this too. So Leonardo Vinci, Galileo, Galilean, Italy, Christian Hugans in the Netherlands and Isaac Newton in England all contributed to an understanding of the relationship between resistance or drag and such factors as the surface area of an object. Like you're talking about. They're actually using science rather than, I reckon I'm missing a day.

Yeah, it's the tail, I reckon. Christian Hogan sounds like a Maya suit brand. Yes. I want to warn that to my formal. What are you wearing? Christian Hogan. It would have been buy two shirts, get a free tie or something. Yeah.

But even Da Vinci was focusing on birds and bats so we can look at DaVinci like an idiot. He wasn't thinking about the birds. Fuckhead. Yeah. Come on, mate, get a jet. It's rocket fuel, you idiot. English engineer George Cayley is sometimes referred to as the father of aviation, along with about five other guys.

People are vying for this title. But his claim is in 1799, he identified the four forces which act on heavier than airflying, which are weight, lift, drag and thrust. He was also the first experimenter to focus on fixed-wing aircraft and designed the first glider reported to have carried human aloft. So he did well. He's done very well.

He's figured out the four big ones there. And then he's, stop flap me arms, he'll look fucking stupid. Just fix the wings. It's dumb. We're better than birds. It's embarrassing when you do it. Gary, stop flapping your arms.

He was like an idiot. But a few years before this in 1783, Jess, you'll be interested to hear that the Mont-Golierre brothers in Versailles in France showed off their invention of a hot air balloon. Montgolfier. That's a fun.

That's a fun name. It also sounds like a polo brand of shirt. Yeah. The horse is backwards. I've got that at the big market. It's a Mont Bolier. The first flight of a hot air balloon had the world's most confused

sheep, duck and rooster on board. Oh, shit. What a weird combo. How do they make it back? They made it back. They were worried that humans couldn't survive that high up in the air, so they went chucking the farm animals. Yeah.

And they survived. Oh, there you know. It's not work. I thought that's it. They were going to make some weird to ducking. The flames just fucking cooked them all. They dropped back. You go, well, it smells good.

It doesn't work. Lunch is on. Yeah. So what was it? A sheep, a duck. And a rooster. A rooster. Okay.

It's like a puzzle. Yeah. They all had each other. For the next century, this was the closest to humans or roosters. got to fly. People tinkered away with theories, experiments and new designs. The first wind tunnel built way back in 1871 in England. Again.

As in a wind tunnel, like the thing you can do near the airport here, where you put on the Red Bull suit and pretend to parachute. Indoor skydiving. Yeah, indoor skydiving. You get manhandled by the guy trying to show you what to do. He's trying to correct you. Sorry. Awkward for everyone.

Have you done that? No. No. I asked Cody and then I look at Hagee I was thinking maybe next start it but look at it. No, not my thing. Have you done it?

No. I don't think it's my thing. I don't think it's my thing. I don't go walk out of that with a broken neck. They just turn it off. You want to have a power outages or something. Yeah. You up nice and high and this power goes out.

We want it indoor skydiving? They're really trying to make near Melbourne airport the place to go. Yeah. But it's like the new docklands. There's urban surf where you can go out. Have you seen urban surf? Oh, yeah.

Just a proper beach almost. Yeah. With massive waves and you can learn how to surf. Yeah, inland surfing. Yeah. You can do inland surfing and indoor skydiving. You can do anything in Melbourne. Come on down.

Fifth most livable city. Yay. Otto Lillenthal from Germany was dubbed the Flying Man after he made a series of successful flights with gliders. He made over 2,000 documented flights with gliders, including his final flight, which stalled and he fell 15 metres to his death. Oh, hold on, that's not.

15 metres? Oh, no. You'd die from five. Oh, no, you're fucked. I was just hoping for higher. Yeah, I was, I thought higher, yeah. Yeah, he had a few years. So he's really dead.

Yeah, actually, you're right, because he didn't die straight away. He died the next day. He added the zero. Off, no question. Yeah, absolutely done. As he's falling, his final thought is, I wish I was higher. And this is pre-opium, I reckon. Like pre, they haven't figured out the heroin compound yet.

Yeah, right. He's just sitting there going, oh, I'm just trying to bite onto a belt. I wish I was higher. Give me some fucking oxies. I'm in a bad way. His tombstone has the words, sacrifices must be made inscribed on it. Sacrifices must be made.

Oh my God. Wow. Different time. I can just, you know, grim. Sacrifice yourself for progress. Progress of life. Progress of fun.

He also has the honour of being on my favorite Wikipedia page, which is a list of inventors killed by their own inventions. Oh, super. Wow. He's on there. Very good. That's good to know. That's a page.

Because Higgie's a big fan of Murderpedia. Murder Pes. That's a great way to do you're on Murder Pedia? Oh, I'm all over. Yeah, great. Glad to meet someone else who looks at it. It's fucking sick. I get lost in it.

It's amazing. How long is this? inventors killed by their own inventions? Is it quite a... It's quite extensive, yeah. It's divided by centuries. That's how long have people have been dying by their own inventions. In my second favourite page is a list of sexually active popes.

Very good. Are these ones who haven't had the fix or they're just sort of... Yeah, a lot of them were real bad. Real bad dudes. Real bad. That's what the inventors are. The more modern ones, be very interesting. Inventors killed by something now.

It's just like a fucking... on sex machine or something. Yeah. Modern popes, any of them? When was the last one who's calling himself sexually active? It's not for a while now, sadly. Bays also be underpaid warehouse employees. This bloke Otto is also listed as the father of aviation.

He's another one. Got a lot of dad's aviation. Where's the mom? Where's the fun aunt of aviation? Honestly, I feel like you've gotten ladies in involved earlier. You probably would have worked it out. Rather than just going, I reckon I need a tail. Yeah. Thanks. Is there a creepy uncle of aviation? You got your dick and balls out. You go further. I need heaps of kids to push me off this cliff. They also can't be wearing pants.

The science. Well, in the same way that two brothers took balloons to the next level, two more brothers took modern aviation one step further, the Wright brothers, who we actually have a whole episode on. Do you remember that one, Jess? Vaguely. Probably remember that. I talked about that way back on episode 85. It's been a long time ago. That is two of our whole shows ago, Higgy. They're not over 300.

Yeah, I know. We're going to have to kill them. To overtake them, yeah. Man, in terms of fight, like a lot of brothers involved in early flight, you can't tell me the Wright brothers didn't punch on. With each other. That's a good point. Fuck that.

Like you couldn't work with a brother and not have a punch up, especially back then. Plus, they're in Kitty Hawk in North Carolina, the home of grubbery, as we've discovered. Oh,

the absolute epicenter of grubs, North Carolina. When we started mid-flight brawl, we thought it was just going to be Gold Coast, Bali, a bit of Manchester, but North Carolina comes up more than anything.

Yeah, they're ready of fight. Yeah, there's something. Something about the joint. I don't know. Big connecting hub for an air, something's happening. Yeah, I don't know. Just a central spot for fighting.

I mean, the Wright brothers, there was just no sniveling little turd filming it. So, of course, I had biffs. They must have. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But we love those sniveling little turds to film it because now you have content. Oh, yeah. So we appreciate it now.

Now, they're playing the Wright brothers playing. Were they sitting one in front of the other? Because that is trying to think about their aircraft. I think of your cropex over the back, earflict. That's how the clavicle rub. The cockpit was invented. I had my little brother sit behind me his fucking nightmare. Punched me.

He had to keep an eye on the bastard, yeah. I think it might be even worse than that it was one at a time. So they're probably fighting over who gets a go. I think it was one. I did have a passenger. I remember, you know, Thomas Selfridge that Orville took up and fucking killed. What? Orville Wright took up a passenger like an army lieutenant, Thomas Selfish.

And the propeller split, plane crashed, Orville survived. Say to Thomas, but the next day he died. But then no one gave a fuck. It's like, oh, you're still a hero, Orville. You know, look what you've done. The next year, ticket tape parades, whatever. What about Thomas?

Who cares? Who cares? Don't worry about it. It's not unlike when your hero and God, like a footie player here, you know, like actual God just kills a teenager in his house in a pool or something. You go, bloody good kick of that. He's all right. It never makes the real.

Jolly good show. Never makes the. YouTube highlights package. Yeah. The yellow tape going around the pool in the kitchen. So yeah, they're out there. Each brother flew their wooden gasoline-powered propeller biplane at the right flyer. Twice, four flights in total, for the shortest lasting 12 seconds,

the longest sustaining flight for about 59 seconds. Wow. And that's actually the world's, I think the world's shortest flight is around that mark. It's somewhere in the UK to a little island. Oh, yes. It's like a minute. It's like a minute. Minute 13.

Proper plane take off and landing. They almost did it. The Wright brothers. They almost did it. Build a bridge, wouldn't you? For a minute. Yeah. From minute flight.

That's crazy. Someone hates driving there. Oh yeah. Only planes. Do they still do like the safety demonstration at the start? Serve up a drink. Just a snack, just a snack Just a short flight

Just a muffin I flew from Sydney to Canberra And the steward They were panicked You're in the air for such a short time They're like throwing cookies to people Basically, you can't get fed Oh I've done that on a little one of them

Yeah, they just stand at the front It's fucking scabre Just boiled sweets Chucking them down the oil Yeah I've flew Canberra to Melbourne Last weekend On Quant they said we're only in the air for 32 minutes and I said, okay, there's the booze.

Yeah. I said it's only 32 minutes. Two then. Just the two things. I'll just have two things. I felt like a dog, just the head on an angle. Why? Yeah, you said 32 minutes.

Yeah, no, I'm not hearing you. You're not hearing me, though. It's strange. Also, I don't want to create a scene, but the TV and my headrest isn't working. Can you get that going? I want to watch a movie. So they're the first to do it probably. There's a bit of debate over who did it first,

but most people think the Wright brothers, some Brazilian guy that we always get messages from Brazilian people are taught that another guy did. Do you know this? Let me guess. A Brazilian? Yes. It's a bit first-fleety, isn't it?

Alberto Santos Dumont. Okay. That's right. So I apologize to any Brazilian listeners. We then, but I looked into it, look at the Wright brothers piped him. We then enter the pioneer era of aviation that lasted until World War I broke out, and there's a lot of experimentation going on during this time.

But by 1914, the tractor configuration biplane had become the most popular form of aircraft design, and will remain so until the end of the 20s. A tractor configuration refers to an aircraft constructed in this standard configuration with its engine mounted with the propell in front of it, so the aircraft looks like it's pulled through the air, Yeah. Rather than jet engines, I guess. That's one of those.

They'd start at spinning it. Yeah, yeah, get it going. Terrifying. The flight I took from Canberra to Sydney. It had propellers. Yeah. Once we took a flight from, do you remember this, Jess? From Dublin to Glasgow.

We're on the time. No, she doesn't remember. She doesn't remember what happened. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but do you remember I turned to you and said, it's got propellers? Yeah, you were quite panics. Oh, just panicked.

Oh, really? That would have been a bit of stobarly air or something. One of those little ailingus? It was air lingus. We missed the first flight because just was buying a magnet. I was filling out my bottle of water. Wow. Yeah, we missed it.

That's all it took. You must be the first sober people to miss a flight in Dublin. They're like, no, no, no. Look, breatho me. Yeah, I'm fine. I swear. But I've got this adorable magnet now. I can have this left without you when these fucking nerds look at it.

Three Australians leave them. They leave anyone dumb enough to go to the air. report gift. Propellers are good though. There was a Rex flight the other year that just dropped one off. Melbourne to Wogger or something. Just dropped a propeller over Aubrey.

Just kept going. Landed. We'll come back for that. Pick it up on the way back. I think some people in the cabin let them know that something bad had happened. But you can land it on one. So every

flight in the world has to be within three hours of one engine. So that's why sometimes you fly overseas, you go, well the fuck are we going this way. And there's all these little airports just in case engines fail. You can get there on one. Ah, that's good to know.

Because sometimes you're watching the map as I do. Why watch a film when I can watch where we are? And you go, why are we going out there and then turning left? Is our polar lost? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. I was sitting in the traffic lights recently in this motorbike with Big Cuba food on the back, going the other way, pretty quick hit a pot hole.

lots of pot-holes in Sydney at the moment and just fucking lost its Cuba food. Kept going. Didn't note it, notice. What are we having for dinner tonight, kiddos? That's like a video game. It's like Mario car. Yeah. Just fucking knocked a tick of masala out of it.

Bang. I'll pick that up. Thank you very much. Then World War I kicks off and often is a way that means more development in technology. People throw money at the war. There you go. really took off and became an aerial arms race of sorts, according to the illustrated encyclopedia of military aircraft.

Familiar with this website. It's my name. It's my home page. Wow. Yeah. France was the war's leading aircraft manufacturer, producing nearly 68,000 planes during World War I. Of those nearly 53,000 were shot down, crashed or damaged.

Wow. So. Do you all buy cheap, buy twice? Yeah. Buy cheap by twice. What a time, though, to be pumping out planes. World War I. Under pressure, it's when you work the best.

We're just like the world's biggest plane just got wrecked in the Ukraine. Oh, yeah. They just blew it up. That huge thing. It looks like anytime you see, like this is a video game, they flew to Perth the other year. It can fly massive aircraft parts around. It can fly tanks, everything. And it was just sitting there in the Ukraine.

And, you know, it's like when any looting happens, they're just going to fucking burn it. You go, just leave it alone. It's not doing anything. It's not a war plane. It's just a big plane. Just take the plane. Yeah.

Even the Taliban just kept the helicopters and stuff. Cheers, lads. Thanks for leaving the keys in the ignition. Yeah, we'll figure this out. That's got to be a YouTube video. I love planes, but I'm not at the point. I hope it's not an age thing. I hope it's more a personality thing.

To turn up to an airport to see one arrive. Yeah. Like, I'm not. Hey, kids, the world's biggest planes coming to. If you'd come, you wouldn't have bothered. No, I think it did come to Melbourne. Melbourne or Perth, it came to a few years ago. People were wrapped.

Oh, no. Not for you? No. It would feel like wartime. Like, it's just a weird thing to do. Yeah. Kids in the car and go and watch a plane coming in. Yeah, like when people used to turn up to see a train arrive.

Yeah. We've evolved past that. We had that the other week where I left somebody handwritten a note to all than that. And they're not in our street. So they must have dropped it at all these streets near our train station. A Victoria Steam Rail Society has a steam train running past this station every half an hour on Saturday. Get around. We're all meeting on this side.

I think you're putting wear in to try and get more people to your fucking solo venture to watch the steam train. And did you go? No. I asked my three-year-old. He was like, I'm okay. Same one on television. Yeah. It's okay.

Fine. And it was just before and during the First World War that people started to look ahead and fantasize about the idea of commercial travel on aircraft. And according to History.com, the first commercial flight was on New Year's Day, 1914 pilot Tony Janice transported a single passenger, the mayor, Abe Field of St. Petersburg, Florida,

crossed Tampa Bay via his flying boat, the St. Petersburg-Tamper Airboat Line. Okay. Wow. So he named the airline. for the first flight. The flight was 23 miles, mostly along the Tampa Bay shore,

in case something went wrong. Yeah. Cost five bucks. Two thousand people watched the flight. Yeah, of course. There we go. Well,

to charge the mayor. Yeah. Wow. The mayor paid for it. Five bucks. Did he or you just pinch the money off the people? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The plane flew no higher than 50 feet or 15 meters over the water.

That's not enough. Halfway to Tampa, the engine misfired and he touched down in the bay made some adjustment adjustments took off again. Oh wow. A fibre back. Yeah, surely. Amazingly, this would lay the foundation for the commercial airline industry. How?

That's where it started. And I also love that they've heard the stats out of France in World War II that 90% of the planes have just smashed or fucking been shot down. And they're like, we should get a lot of people in our family on these to go somewhere. We should use these for holidays. Should you? From all the sort of glitz and romance of early flight, though, when the world had hope for the future and people wearing their best clothes to get on a plane

and call each other sir and manor. Being polite for the sake of it, not just just fucking get something for free. Through to now, where you can just have an actual fight at a boarding gate. And when they say you've got to have more than your undies on to get on a plane, that you're not allowed to have 18 beers and start screaming at strangers. Well, you don't get to sit there and call the flight attendant slags. All this just come about because it's too fucking easy for a long time.

I think we need another war. Victimhood's such an attractive prospect. People are lining up to be one now. They are some of my favourite stories, the influences that aren't allowed on a plane. They're like, why? Because of this? I'm like, yeah, maybe. You know what I mean?

Like, I'm not a prude, but it's a, why would you want your bear back on a fucking plane seat? Yeah, yeah. That's the number one to me. That is gross.

Skin on plane seat is a, it's like, this isn't for the other, this is for your health and safety. Put a top on. I'm doing you a favor, man. I just get away with those string muscle singlets, though.

Gross. On Jetstar. Yeah, on Jets. You just see like a muscle man get on with those. Might as well not have anything on. Yeah. Hold on. Don't have to get,

Don't have to get in a suit, but still, fuck. Yeah. One slight bit of turbulence from two nipples showing. I won't even wear a track suit on the plane. No, you won't. Dave travels in jeans and boots. We're traveling jeans. I wouldn't go that far.

What are you wearing on a plane? This. I wear shorts and shoes and stuff. Yeah. Jeans is too uncomfortable for a long plane. You're not long haul flight jeans. Yes, we're talking when we've flown to the UK. Wow.

Yeah, he'll be in jeans. Yeah, I ask, economy? Economy. Economy jeans is like a... It's called respect for your fellow passengers. Can I loose around the crotch jeans? How do you adjust for 24 hours? Absolutely not.

Just sit there and suck it up. Oh, man. Get off in London. Pull them off, put them in the bin. Go to passball control. These cannot be cleaned enough. Don't worry. I've got a fresh.

pair in my carry-on. I like your way of doing it though because everyone, you know, you try and find more comfortable ways to fly, but you just go the opposite. Like, I'm putting jeans on. So now this chair doesn't feel so bad. I'm in jeans. Yeah, I love feeling shit.

Yeah. I feel it shit. Just embrace it. Jeans on a long haul flight far out. Yeah, no. I've had to switch to trousers for long hauls because I'll wear those socks. Yeah, the compression so. Yeah.

I wear them now. I've reached that stage of my life. So those and shorts, it's not great. Yeah. Yeah, no fair. Did they just give you that in the prostate exam show bag? On the way out is some compression socks. I went to France about five years ago.

My feet just blew up the day I got there. I couldn't walk. Mine do that, but that's just from the sheer amount of booze I can sherman along with my head's bigger, my legs, my gut. I'm fucking disaster. They had to roll him off the plane. I try and drink the ticket value. Yeah.

I try and come out financially in front. Physically years behind, but financially in front. It's worth it. I find if the tidier jeans are, you can get away with the compression. Oh. Yeah. Compressing machine. Skinny jeans on a lot more flight.

Like a lunatic. My legs are blowing up. Are you just bursting out of him like the Hulk at the other end? Yeah. I look at the end of a long haul flight. Have you seen Interstellar? Now when they go to that water planet and come back, it's been seven years for the bloke.

That's me. I get off on a glass as a cane. My kids are grown up. Dad left when I was three. I missed his 21st. That's a lot of beers. Well, I'm getting, I'm getting to the modern age of the more commercial airlines we know.

The three oldest airlines that still exist. You know where they are? British Airways. No. Quantus. Quantus is third. Okay. That's the Australian carrier.

American Airlines? No. Number one is KLM from the Netherlands. 1919. So it pipsed quantus by a year. And Columbia's Avianca, also 1919. Oh, wow. Still going.

Avianca, one of the world's largest. air crash investigations, I think, was an Avianca. I think Avianca may have been a run out of petrol in the sky or a... From that era? Upsi Daisy. I didn't know someone was on this runway as well. Right. Maybe 70s or 80s.

That's interesting. They were both 1919 and then Qantas in 1920. That's cool. That's bad. Yeah. It's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you think news just got out here? Well, fuck it. We've got to join in. It'll be done to be going on. Yeah, they had it already in 1918. And they just got the telegram through. Well, in 1919, they were basically using converted wartime bombers. 14 passengers lounging in comfortable wicker chairs.

Wicca! Yes. Oh. I had a different idea of comfort back then. In a suit on a wicker chair, is it? Yeah. That's bad. That's bad.

Footage of theatres back then, like movie theaters and shit. It looked terrible. It does not look comfy. Oh, man. Man, you wanted the movie to be nice and short. Especially with people just punch and dourries next year the whole time. Smoking inside as you, right? But it was the 30s when it really took off, especially in the USA,

because just 6,000 people traveled commercially by airplane in 1930. Four years later, that number would multiply by 75 times. Wow. 450,000 passengers in 34. And then a couple of years later, 1.2 million were traveling by air every year. And what was it like? Well, very expensive for one. A flight from London to Brisbane in Australia would, for instance,

which was the longest route available in 1938, took 11 days and included two dozen scheduled stops. Wow. Like a cruise ship. Sky cruise. Yeah. Oh, that's a lot of takes off the landing. Yeah.

Jump. And I just jump. He just walk there to leapfrog with a bunch of other people. You can fucking get him later days. Because my grandparents, my mum's parents were the 10-pound tourists, you know, the 10-pound Poms. I think that took months.

Yeah. But having heard that, it's like, who cares? It's not that much longer. 24 stops. And it would cost 20,000 US dollars in today's money for that. Wow. Very, very expensive.

Holy shit. When you got to Brisbane from London, you'd spent your 20 grand. Yeah. And you're in Brisbane. There's nothing to do it. Yeah. Well, 22-day trip isn't bad. Just back to London. Yeah. Turn it around.

And then World War II accelerated the introduction of jet engines, which at first we used for military aircraft, but then we're used by passengers two. And they were able to fly much higher, faster, and further than older piston-powered propelinas. Or propelinas. Anyway, no worry about that. Yeah, yeah.

Mr. Propelina. I've got to change that song now, war. What's it good for? What's it good for? Fucking flying real far. We're going by boat if people didn't punch on. And then in the 50s, it really took up again. That's when the jet age took a big step forward.

The Boeing 707 debuted in 1958. And Pan American Airways became the first commercial carrier to take delivery from the elongated, swept wing planes launching daily flight. flights from New York to Paris and became a modern symbol of post-war modernity. So that's when... There we go. It's starting like this.

We're hearing Boeing. We're hearing words like Boeing. Yeah. We're on the up and up. Yeah. Unless it's a 737 max. And then, whoopsie daisy. We've got to fix some of that software.

Sorry, everyone. And yeah, that's when people dressed up and flight attendants reflected the epitome of chic. Mm. Yeah. We still do. No, now it's fake buns and stuff. Yeah.

I've seen that. I've seen someone put on it, like, clip in a fake bum, put the jacket on at the end. They're just tricking everyone outside. You are yelling at me. I was like, enjoy your trip, sir. Hold on. Hang on a second.

You're very different on the ground. What is ground attitude? I imagine on your show you talk at least a little bit about low-cost carriers. A little bit. Yeah. Yes, we do. Well, the largest one of the world is Southwest Airlines, which is founded in Texas,

way back in 1967, by Herb Callagher, and the incredibly named Roland King. Sick. Roland King. I also think you don't hear enough herbs now. Yeah, there's not a lot of people called herbs. Herb will come back.

It should. I've never heard of another Roland. No, that's fair as well. Roland? Not Roland. Roland. Roland. Roland.

Rowland King. That is good. I will be having a third child. My wife and I were talking about it, but now, no, that combo is on the table. And yeah, basically I mentioned that just because I wanted to say Roland King, but they started the low-cost thing by, they're from Texas, and the price controls and market regulations imposed by the Federal Aeronautics Board, he decided they weren't apply to me because we're just flying in Texas.

And people tried to sue and stop him because, cutting everyone else, but they couldn't stop him, and then he just built an empire from it. And basically people like Richard Branson and Ryan is Michael O'Leary, easy jet, have all acknowledged their debt to the Southwest and its inspirational business model. So we can thank Roland King. Michael O'Leary, he's great. He's someone that's like, we're trying to figure out if people can just stand. Yeah, any corner.

We're trying to get 10p for the toilet, you know. He doesn't give a shit. That's good a fuck. But he's like, it's 40 minutes, who cares? Do a wee beforehand or pay your 10p or whatever. And just stand and hold on to something. Stand. And people would.

Yeah. If you can make it happen, people would do it. Yeah. If it was dirt cheap. Yeah. Yeah, you'd do it. All the way through to today, we haven't looked back from that. And it's been a fucking absolute burn for us more than anything.

Way through to today, if you can cast your mind back, mate. So February 6, 2018. New York City to Syracuse. Delta Airlines, fairly cheap, not quite as, you know, Ryanairish, but... They're good, Delta. Yeah, I don't know.

They were Virgin's partner. They're good for America. Yeah. I think Americans come over here and hop on our, you know, on us and virgin, and they're blown away. It's like the older days. Yeah. Yeah.

Susan Perez was the last passenger on board, a graduate from NYU with a degree in international trauma studies. They're just fucking making shit up. now, I know. Doing a tight degree on nearly anything. I don't know what you've got. Have you studied degrees on stupid shit? Yeah, drama.

So, yeah. Well, you know. First thing I. It exists. I love that. You're like, it does it. It exists.

No. Drama. Yeah, I'm listening. That exists. That's a thing. Yeah. International trauma after covering two world wars in the last 10 minutes. Bullshit.

Let me set the scene. The first degree. I got into out of school was it was a Bachelor of Arts, but it was creative arts and culture. Okay. I dropped out of that one. Oh, what's the time? It was. I left creative arts and culture.

The only culture jobs are in the NRL. They need a head of culture. They need to fix the culture. All right, guys, let's do some clay stuff. Maybe calm down a bit. There's some painting. He just want to do a puzzle? Hey?

Still puzzle. It'll be fun. 19-year-old Marissa Rundell was on the plane with her eight-month-old son, Mason, for the one-hour, 15-minute flight. Susan, she wasn't happy about her backseat allocation. She began muttering to herself. And I used to actively seek out the back seat when I was, you know, booking a flight. You can sit there picking your nose, flicking it to whoever you want.

Right, 30. Put your fucking seat back. Yeah. You aren't near kids, though, generally. Yeah, that will put kids down there. One downside, though. The FAA still comes from and wake you up and go, put your seat forward. Why?

You got to start to put them all back so maybe they don't notice, but sometimes they still do. Have you ever had the one where you get back there and you can't move the seat back? Yeah, I have. The wall? Yeah. Oh, that is rough.

That's not happening ever again. I'm on seat guru before every long haul flight. I love it. I'm reading reviews, not only on airlines, on specific seats, on specific aircrafts. Do you ever do any reviews? No, I don't leave them. D-13, absolutely loved it.

Had a great time indeed. By the way, Susan appeared to have three seats to herself in the back row and was doing some muttering and whinging. What's she upset about? Back seat. It's called broken business class. If you get a whole road. That's the best. She's saying to me once was the greatest flight of my life.

Yeah. She's muttering up the fucking bitch-ass back of the plane. It was her quote. Marissa asked Susan not to swear in front of her child who got to protect the children. Eight months old, rack off. They don't know anything. Yeah. They don't hear any.

They don't hear any. little faces. I don't know a fucking thing there. You don't have to stop swearing in front of your kids until you get a phone call from Kendi. They don't pick it up. They'll let you know. I don't even know fear eight-month-olds.

I've got one in my house right now and I run out in full speed and drive karate kick. You go, what's that, my wife? He just laughed. It's the best age. If I do it to the three-year-old, he'd freak out. I don't know at some point.

Somewhere in between eight months and three. Yeah, that's all I used to wake one up. Just start the chainsaw over the cot. I'm trying to get up. But is this lady worried that her eight months' first words are going to be fucking back of the plane? Back-ass bitch of the plane, yeah. Sorry, what, Timmy?

I'd be quite proud of that, actually. Good sentence structure. Yeah, that's my full sentence. Susan. I don't want to judge, but she's a teen mum with a son named Mason. Yeah. I don't reckon Susan's swear word is the first one that's been heard. Yeah.

Susan immediately put her other degree into practice, It's a BA in European history and romance language. It's fucking waste of time. Her reply to Marissa was, shut the fuck up and shove it. Baby didn't say a thing. Is that French? Beautiful language.

Language of love. Then she said, I'm not sitting near crying baby. And Marissa said he won't cry the whole time. Flight attendant Tabitha came over. Tabith was clearly born in about 1965, Hyder the Be Witch TV series. And the exchange.

She involved, like her going, you know, stop swearing, stop being a dickhead. And Susan just said, you know, I'm not having this. What's your name? You're not going to have a job tomorrow, Tabitha. Oh, my God. Susan's not having a good day, is she? She's having a shit one. Yeah.

Also, if you're in row 30, you don't have the power to take anyone's job. No. Next to the toilet at the back. Yeah. And Tabitha, for that, she said, oh, this woman off the plate. And then Susan has just fallen apart knowing that she's getting chucked off the plane. She's like, no, I'm sorry. If I don't, I can't get home.

I've got to take this plane. I'm sorry, I apologize. I was stressed out, crocodile tears, that sort of shit. Too little too late. I mean, the plane took off without incident, or Susan. See you, Susan. Last in, first out. Marissa took some footage just to show her family.

It went viral. It's not that good. But she's like, this lady thought she's going to be rude to me and Mason. Now she has no way home today, Marissa said triumphantly. She later removed it among the furor, though. They should have kicked her out. She should have said Mason and I. Yeah.

You're out too. I don't think anyone has ever said Mason and I. Doesn't happen. Braden and myself, we're heading out. To whom are you talking, Jaden? No. She felt bad a woman may lose her job just for being a fuckhead. And that's a, that's fairly rare trait these days for the youth.

Yeah. You, mob ever ruin someone. Have you ever ruined someone's life on a whim? Not on a whim, no. you have on a bad day, you can. Very much plans. Get amongst it. You've got a vendetta list.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You must. Susan, she was working for the NY Council of the Arts on 95K a year. Thank you very much. Even stated mid-tantey that she worked for the governor. Not for long. Sacked because of her behaviour off the clock. I don't know if I can get behind that.

You see people on Twitter say things like, oh, you know, these are my views, not my employer. How does that work? You can't just can't have a tant in real life then, get filmed and fucking you get sad. Yeah, that's true. Usually it's the employer saying everybody has to put that in their Twitter buyers, to be fair. Just a couple of emails I've received. After some sus tweets.

Yeah, you know me. Here's my vengeance list. I'm coming. I've used my own. I happen to know one Nicholas J. Cody, lost his blue tick status for all the fist pumping MRI stuff and the pro-guns sort of thing. I think it was that, wasn't it? No, I didn't look.

Somebody tried to get into my Twitter account. I got locked out of it, tried to get back in. It was linked to an old email address. I didn't know the thing to that. Channel 9 got me back in. And then I had a look around Twitter and went, oh no, this was just fucked as, I remember it.

Just logged out, never went back in. And the blue tick just went away. It just disappeared. Don't tweet for long enough. It just goes. Ah, okay. Don't keep it up. Right to the wise.

Susan, she works somewhere else now. Never heard a peep out of her scenes. Her social media is gone dead. She is on LinkedIn though. You'd be happy to know. She works for, now she works for Foxhole Productions, TV company like every American company.

It's like a converted warehouse situation. One of those where not much happens. It looks innovative and cool. They definitely rip people off to pay the rent so they can brainstorm in beanbags all the live-long day, I can play ping pong or whatever it is you people do. Not to be confused, though, with the different Foxhole productions,

this one's with two X's because it's owned by one of your biggest comedy influences. Jamie Fox? Yes. Life after being cancelled or shame like this, though, I think it's going to be tough on my family when it happens. It's not easy. I know people talk about it. Comedians are held to a fairly high standard here. Imagine if we're allowed to fucking just bash actors.

That'd be sick. I'd be in Hollywood every holiday. Just laying these little men out. Back to La La Land. Dad, that's Tom Cruise. No way. He says he's an action hero. He's 5'6.

They can't be him. In heels. He played Jack Reacher. There's no way. He played that was the greatest casting. You know that? I believe Tom Cruise bought the rights to Jack Reacher. So he could play Jack Reacher, who in the book is like a 6'4 fucking

Rift unit. Tom Cruise is like, well, I own it. I'll stand on a box and bash people. Whatever. Just let me get my Apple box. I'm going to slap you. My mom loves Leslie Child Books. She was furious when Tom Cruise was car.

Oh, yeah. She was like, what? It should have been Dolph, Lundron. Yeah. Wow. That'd be good. Is he still in great shape, Dolph? I reckon Susan's done the best thing here.

Just shut up and got on with a life. She didn't feed the trolls or anything. Marissa Rundell, she now works as an office administrator at New York icons where you can install your child in a tumbling or cheer class, and they'll all win first prize until they reach much later. They've realised that being told you the best all the time, may not be a good idea. Icons, their motto is we are iconic and we don't give up,

except in adulthood when we're worn out. and need to spend all their money on in therapy to explain why mom wanted us to train 12 hours a day instead of go to actual fucking school. What do you think the success ratio is? Is it higher on like a voice or X Factor or a child, what are they called? Gymnist, a cheerleader. Yeah, what do they call, the little parades? Like the...

Like a pageant? Yeah, like a pageant. Pagintry. John Bonnet. Who's pumped out more actual successful people, pageants or an X Factor voice? Probably pageants. You reckon? I think so.

Pagents with the modelling industry or something? Yeah, and I reckon a lot of actors and singers and stuff. I think a lot of them would have been in pageants as a child. That's my guess. You're doubling up. Double threat, triple threat. But an X factor or a voice that's like being a 26-year-old gymnast. It's too late.

You know what they've never managed to do, though, from all the pageants? They haven't managed to crack this world peace thing they all keep talking about. No, but God, they're passionate about it. They all want it. They all want it bad enough. Yeah, I don't think so. Nobody's doing anything about it. loving the Iraq.

Oh, gosh. The Iraq. So, I don't know how we finish this up. Sorry, Rad. You have to edit out the store. Yeah, that's the end of mine. Fucking little bit of... This is why I love Heggy.

You just never know. It just stops. Yeah, all right. Not an hour. It's well over an hour. Yeah. No, this is spot on an hour. Oh, okay.

Yep. You're Ripper. Bang. That's it. That brings us to the end of the do-go-on slash mid-flight brawl remix. Spectacular. Spectacular.

Spectacular. I don't mind remix. Remix is all right. Breakfast radio really in my head. I've come straight here from there. Remix. DJ Cullen! Sorry everyone.

I didn't have to yell that. His toxic and pony played at the same time. But we'll call it a remix. Does it work, though? Does it work? They do fit in. Yeah. Great.

Yeah. There's a lot of songs being played on that station where someone's gone, hold on, it's the same beat sort of. Yeah. That's got the same timing. Mash those up. There you go. Oh, someone at your station made that.

No. Oh, right. Okay. The song's on the station. Someone sent it in two massive songs and said, this is mine now. Yeah. Sometimes these fuck edges talk over an existing song. Yeah.

Call it theirs. Yeah. Brilliant. Kid Rock with Sweet Home Alabama. Yeah. It brings to mine just actually talking over the top of Sweet Home Alabama. Million bucks, thank you. Well, they died in a plane crash, didn't they?

Leonard's scared. Yeah, a lot of them did, yeah. Yeah, it's easy. You don't have to put in effort. They're not going to come after you. Should we just play Sweet Home Alabama's quietly underneath this entire thing? Hi, Ed Conrad. Get Rock, Sweet Home Alabama to send us out.

We talk over him talking over on Sweetwater. Do you have live shows coming up? Yeah, we actually do. So we're doing some shows at the European Beer Cafe on Sunday nights in April. Yes. There's a couple of those left, I believe. Yeah. Sunday nights at 845, we'll be doing Do Go On Live, which is good fun.

How about you guys? You guys doing shows at the Comedy Festival, some stand-up stuff? Yeah, I am. I'm doing a show every night at European Beer Cafe, no less. It is rolling on for fucking ever. Because you do it every night, right? Yeah, I do every night. Amazing.

And then back. After Melbourne, Sydney, Perth, Brisbane. Beautiful. Yep. And I've got 10 shows only at Melbourne Comedy Festival, which I think are done by the time this comes out. But then Brisbane, Sydney, Newcastle, Perth. And then we're doing live midflight brawls in Hobart and Lonsestan in the middle of the year.

So midflight brawl.com. For that. Beautiful. Great fun. And of course, your podcast comes out every week and you can find that on all the podcast apps. Midflight brawl for more. Yeah, we're not exclusive. Midflight shenanigans.

And Matt, you're fired. so rough way to find out. Luke and I'm taking over. Sorry, mate. So awkward. You'll be back next week, right? Weird. Well, thanks very much for having us, guys.

Oh, thank you for having us. Yeah, thank you for having us. This is like a real polite, see you later standoff. I'll just do it. See you, fuck it. Bye. And now it's time for everybody's

favorite section of the show where we invite Matt Stewart to join us again. Maddie Stu, he's back from the Lou. That's so. That was a long shit. Gentlemen never shit. I was just, I just never talked to myself.

I, um, yeah, I, you know, we only have the four mics and you two said apparently Haggy and Cody are more important than me, so I sub-doubt. Well, where would you put yourself in the level of importance? Yeah, the same. Yeah, so it made sense. Yeah, no, you're right. Why you're getting all sassy at us. But now they've gone, I'm back.

It feels good. You're back and you're on two microphones. phone. That's right. He's showing his power. And so I'm back mainly because this is everyone's favorite section of the show. That's right. Including my favorite part of the show, it's the section of the show where we thank a bunch of our great supporters. If it wasn't for these people, this show would not exist. And we thank them in a bunch of ways. If you sign up at do go onpod.com or patreon.com slash dogoonpod. There's all these different levels. You get all sorts of different rewards. Bonus episodes. We do three every month or you get

access to the Facebook group or shoutouts, you get to vote on topics all sorts of different things. But the things we like to do at the end of the episode is a few shoutouts. The first one's called the fact quote or question section. You can be involved in this if you sign up at the Sydney-Shaunberg level and this section has a little jingle

goes something like this. Fact quote or questions. He always remembers the ding. Fucked that note, sorry. So on this one people get to give us a Back to quote or a question or a brag or a suggestion or whatever they like, really. And first up this week comes from Lisa David, soon to be Lisa Vienna. And Lisa has, you also get to give yourself a title.

Lisa's got the title of Personal Occupational Therapist for the Dugawan crew. Oh my God, thank God. These chairs are not ergonomical. Is that what an occupational therapist does? Cool. And Lisa has offered a brag, which. Cheers. I have a braggy fact for you. I'm an occupational therapist and I recently became...

We get it. I recently became a director of rehabilitation at an assisted living center where I get to help the elderly recover from injury or illness regain independence and improve their quality of life. Hell yeah. You may have just figured out from context clues what an occupational therapist is. No, it was me saying my chair. It was an economical, actually.

That helped as well for me. My job is to not find you a job, but instead it is to find creative ways to make life better. I work with older folks with a range of issues from recovering from a stroke, hip fracture, and even anxiety and depression. I've been doing this for seven years, and it's not easy, but it is so much easier ever since I started listening to you. You make a real difference every week in people's lives across the world. many of them like me who give their all to other people every day. I hope you realize how special you are. Listening to this podcast every week makes me feel strangely like I know you guys,

like we are pals. Is it bizarre to you that you have so many genuine admirers of you as people and as a podcast? Well, I just want to say it feels to you like we're friends, but that is not reciprocate. Well, I reciprocate at least. I couldn't even get through that. That is so nice, Lisa. I just want to say that Lisa, I believe that you are really good at your job

because you've just made me feel really good just with an email. Yeah. So thank you so much. That's lovely message. And it's really cool that you do work that is, you know, it's rewarding and that you're, is a very tangible way of saying you're helping people sometimes. And, you know, you've just said we help people, but it doesn't always feel like that. When we're sitting in my living room talking into microphones, it doesn't feel like we're helping people.

So that's really cool. Yeah. And the question, is it bizarre, is it still bizarre, they have many genuine admirers? Yeah. I'm like, I mean, it just doesn't, I don't think, I just don't think my brain believes that. Yeah. So it doesn't feel bizarre because it doesn't. Does it just blow your mind every time we do a live show then and people turn up?

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I just, you just sort of think that people have accidentally wanted into a room and are too polite delete. Yeah, this thing is a little, it's a room of nice. nice people who are supporting me. Yeah. And us and they're like, hey, we're just being, they're doing us a favor.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like, hey, we want to, yeah, we just want to come so you can do this, have fun. Have fun. And hang out with your friends. And we'll pretend to laugh. Is that what you think is happening?

They're relatively convincing sometimes. Yeah, they are pretty convincing. Yeah, no, of course, it's completely mind-blowing. It's very strange in the best possible way. It's a very surreal thing to, experience. Thank you very much for your message there, Lisa. The next one comes from Kel Wachaltz, who's got the title of official US expert on pie and other desserts.

Oh, please. Kel is offering a suggestion writing, Jess said this was open to recipes a few episodes ago. Yeah. So I figured I'd share a good pie recipe with y'all. This one's for sweet red bean hand pies and tie at, Thai tea glaze. Make pie crust. Get your pen's out.

Oh my God. Make pie crust. Mix together, flour, butter and a little sugar, salt, and apple cider vinegar. Once cooled, cut into three inch squares. Make red bean paste. You do this by cooking red beans or azuki. Blend with coconut oil and sugar. And you assemble the pies by putting a small amount of red bean paste on one pie crust,

place another pie crust on and seal. Press coarse sugar into the pie crust. Oh. Throw in the oven and bake. Let cool thoroughly once the pie crust is golden brown. Make glaze with Thai tea and generously top. Yum. Wow, that sounds great.

Final step. Enjoy. Enjoy! I've added that in, but I reckon. That was Kell's first fact quote of question for us. Rag or suggestion. I'm trying for a recipe. Thank you.

I've nailed it. Thank you so much. Also, like, it's simple. You know how a lot of recipe, and there's a lot of jokes stand-ups are doing, or it's jokes on the internet about people where you go to find a recipe, and it's like, I grew up in the summertime,

and you're like, ah, God damn it. Straight to the point, easy to follow instructions. Love that. Thank you so much, Cal. Love it. Thanks, Cal. Apparently they do are those long ones that's for, there's some sort of reason.

What do you call? like the SUV or whatever not SUV yeah the the SUV the sports utility vehicle SEO

the SUV the uh where it's sort of like internet stuff algorithms and stuff they do them longer and it's sort of like those blogs

make advertising revenue and that's what because I remember someone complained about and so on Facebook or Twitter or something and someone replied like

it's how hard is it to scroll down this is how they make their money you know whatever all right um

I jump just I never yeah It makes sense. I'm like, why does everyone do that? It makes sense that there's a reason for it. This next one comes from Eric Morales, or Morales, aka junior vice president of productive procrastination, such as cleaning my room at 11 p.m.

when I have a homework assignment due at midnight. Oh, what are you doing? Good luck fitting that on your business card, hey? Yeah, that is lengthy. I'd make that an acronym. But Dave, you're assuming the assignment isn't done. I reckon it's done. He just hasn't, you know, hit submit.

I mean, hit my, out, um, where I've, uh, uh, do,

um, that made me genuinely concerned for you. Yeah, in the bit, there was a bit in the middle that said it sounded like suck my something. Yeah, it really did,

didn't it? Suck my, dude. Yeah, sacma ru. Because I was, some of them I was just still in the first letter. Some of them I've forgotten was saying the words of it.

So I had... Sacra blur. I had moved on and was saying something else today. I've turned around and Matt's doing that with his face. And I was like, oh no. I was like something's wrong. It took me a bit to figure out. You got to reboot Matt.

You're doing the acronym. I was like, oh dear. Try turning him on and off again. I was going to just turn him on his side. I was going to get Dave to call an ambulance. but we're okay Who smells toast So

Eric has a brag Writing to Matt Jess And the rest Love a brag Oh a rest Suck dude Ha ha ha gotcha Gotcha Dave writes Eric

He did Because I was on your side for the brag And you immediately cut me deep Because people love that That rule of three bit Often in tweets and stuff People say To Matt Jess

And the And whoever and the shit one or to Jess Dave and the ugly guy. I was like, oh. Jess, you're nearly always included by name. Yeah, because people know not to bully me. Because I'll fuck them.

Matt and I always, we're always the other one. Fuck them up, I fuck them up. And they do not want that. They don't want that. Matt and I were often thrown under the bus for the gag. Yeah, yeah, because you can't, you can't make jokes about a lady. Too delicate.

Too delicate. Too delicate. Too fragile. Look at me. I'm made of glass. Nah, but don't make jokes about me. Thank you. I can't handle it. I'm made of glass. I don't want it. And I will fuck you. And you don't want that.

You don't want that. I'm very bad. Eric writes to Matt Jess and Dave, first of all, I would like to say thank you very much for all your hard work and all the laughs that you have given us through your various podcasts and other works. I started listening to the pod in my fourth year of union 2016 and found you all through Meso plugging the Elvis episode. I listened and loved it and had to go back to the first episode and tried to find the explanation for Dave being away at a neo-Nazi university studying abroad for the semester. Sorry about that, Dave. Did we ever tell you that's what we said you were doing?

Here's the brag. I am now in my final semester of graduate school and will be getting my master's degree in electrical engineering in May of 2022. I've been blessed with a full-time job offer at the point. place that I interned at and am now able to contribute to the Patreon of my favorite podcast. Is that us? That's us. This is Eric's first fact quote or question or brag or suggestion.

Well done, Eric. Go on, Eric. Thanks again for all the laughs that you have given us and thank you for making these reports easy to follow without the help of visual aids. Oh. Eric M. Hey, no worries, Eric. It's because we paint a picture with our words.

Congratulations, Eric, on the gig. Yeah, that's amazing. Congrats. And the final one this week comes from John Hopper. Hopper. Hopper. Is it Hopper? Well, it's H-O-P-P-E.

Oh, Hoppy. Hoppe? Hoppe. Hop. Hop. Could be any of all of those. I love all of them. But I think, you know, where's John from?

Do we know? No. So if he's Australian, definitely gets called Hopper. Hopper, yeah. Big time. I'd be calling him Hopper. I've got a cousin-in-law who's got that name. I'm sure it's pronounced hopper.

Love it. That's what he's known as. So John is the VP for pastry appreciation, not pasty. Those are different. Okay. Whenever I travel, I like to try the local version. What's a pasty? Not a pasty.

Well, it's past, oh, hang on. So it's pasty with a Y, not pasty with an I.E. They're different. Oh, I think it's pasty like the pasty is like nipple tassels. Oh, which one's which? Why is the food? Right. Isn't I eat the food as well?

I think it sort of depends. Pasti. Pasti. What, pasty? Pasti. Pasti. And John has offered us a fact. Dave's now Googling pasty nipple.

Well, it's P-A-S-T-Y for a nipple pasty. Oh, so he's into the nipple pastey. And he likes having the local delicacy. What was that noise you made? Too hot to handle. Spicy. So John's offered a fact writing, I heard someone on your show mention that Maine was the easternmost state of the US.

As an Alaskan, that got me curious. I looked it up and may I humbly offer the fact that it's that the easternmost part of the United States is a small island. I do believe we said in the continental USA. We did. I remember that as well. Dave, um-actually and um-actually. Yeah. Yes, you love to see it.

I do, yeah, I think that was on my episode about the Stranger of the North Pond. That's right. And yeah, I do recall specifying as mainland. But let's hear non-mainland. So the easternmost point in the United States is a small island out on Alaska's Aleutian chain called semi-sopaconal island. It is 15Ks west of the. 180th meridian, making it the easternmost point of the United States.

It is covered with volcanoes, and although it has no human residence, up to one million birds call it home from time to time. Looks amazing on Google Earth too. Now, how does someone get there? So what was the story about that? Did Hagey talk about some sort of an incident on a plane? We talked about the history of aviation. I talked about that, how planes developed.

And then they talked about how violence on planes developed. Well, I think, yeah, those two go hand in hand. And, yeah, I think, John, I reckon that's my best bet is some sort of a plane. Yeah. Which I think is sort of like the plane. Some sort of craft. Yeah. Air or sea.

Submarine? I guess. Thank you very much, John. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, I believe the northern, western and southern most parts of the US are all in Alaska. There's some fact about that. Huh. And southern might be Hawaii.

Or is Hawaii the western most? Anyway, I don't know. There's some fun fact about that. Yeah, I don't know. All right. That brings us to the other thing we like to do. Shout out a few of our great supporters. Jess, you normally come up with a bit of a game based on the topic.

Yeah, how about why they've been asked to get off a plane? Fantastic. I love that. First up, I'd love to thank from Centennial. in Colorado in the United States. Cheryl I, Engelsman. Cheryl was wearing a pants as a top and her shirt has pants.

Okay. Can't do that. They said, no pants and you're not wearing pants. I am just on my top. Are there rules about that on planes? Well, she was in first class. Cheryl was in first class. You do have to dress the part in first class.

You've got to be wearing a suit or formal attire in the correct fashion. They are real sky Nazis, aren't they? None of that. I'd also love to thank from Nottingham in Great Britain, Bethan Brown. Oh, BB! Bethan. Bethan Brown.

Kicked off a plane for starting a food fight. Oh, yeah. To be fair, it was a lot of fun. But. Someone had a peanut allergy. Yeah. Yeah. Some sate got rogue.

And there was an APPen on board. That person is fine, but obviously not happy. You know, you got all that effort to make sure that your meal caters to your dietary requirements. And then somebody throws sate sauce at you. No good. No good. That's a faux par, where I come from. That's a faux par, Beth.

But people did say it was a bit of fun, but you were asked to leave the plane. And finally for me, I'd love to thank from Blair Gowrie. in Great Britain. I reckon that is in Scotland. Liam Burge. Oh, what a name. I love the name Liam. Liam. I was going to be Liam. Did you know that? If I was a boy. And I was going to be Beth or Bethan. Were you? Bethany, I think. But that's nice. Back to back. Huh? What are the odds of that? That's crazy. Dave, were you going to be a Cheryl by any chance?

I was. Whoa. And that is my middle name. We did it. David Sherrill. What about Liam was kicked off the plane for? He dropped his passport down the toilet and they were like well when you get to the other side what are you going to do yeah so they just kicked him off he wasn't actually in his home country either so he was stranded regardless yeah and he said can i'm willing to go get it tom cruise made a film based on it tom hanks fuck yeah top gun toms are all the same to me all toms are the same that was going to be my name okay if i looked like a tom now i can't figure out what's the truth.

Can I thank some people? I'd love it if you did. I would love to thank from Deep Within the Fortress of the Moles. Location Unknown. Dora Buckle. Oh my God. That is right up there with best names ever. Dora Buckle.

Dora Buckle. I'm obsessed with that. Oh my God. Dora already good. Buckle. Buckle is so good. Imagine, I think Buckle's one of those names that goes with nearly any first name. Yeah.

Matt Buckle. My Buckle. Holy shit. Dave Buckle. Wait for this. Jess Buckle. That's good. What about Bucky Buckle?

That's too much. You had fun one. Bucky Buckel. No, actually, I don't hate it. I, um, I, back in my air conditioning days, I, uh, hooked up Phil Buckel with a heating system. And when I was measuring up his basement, started to notice a lot of ARIA awards and gold records. And it turned out he was in John Farnham's band. I probably told this story before.

I don't think so. Or maybe. And yeah, he co-wrote like Burn for You and stuff like that. And then so I had his number and we got on pretty well. It was a lovely guy. And then I was drinking up in a country pub and I put Burn For You in on the jukebox. I messaged him, you know, like Midnight. I said, hey Phil, just put on, I'm up at the pub and I put on Bird for You.

And he replied real quick, he goes, but that was a dance floor clearer. Beautiful song though. Phil. What a guy. That's good stuff. Phil Buckle. What a beautiful. What a great name.

Dora Buckle. Dora Buckle. But Dora Buckle kicked off a plane. What for? Playing burn for you. Too loud. On her phone. Yeah.

And people couldn't concentrate on their movies because they were too. They were like, oh, what a beautiful love song. Yeah. All that I want to do, burn, burn for you. Burn, burn for you. Oh, burn for you. What am I going to do? You'll really see you with your head.

My toe doesn't change it, but my hand is doing what Farnsey's voice would have done. So it's a lot of theater of mind there. Love you, Farnsey. That's such a good name. Yeah, Dora Buckel. And you did the right thing in playing Burn for you repeatedly on that flight. Next for me, I would love to thank from Preston here in Victoria, Edward Gunning. Oh, that's good too.

That's a great name, Gunning. That's fun. Oh, again, it's just been banger after banger these times. David wanted Ed would do. kicked off the plane for turning the aisle into a giant slip and slide. Oh, so fun. I mean, people applauded as he was taken off. They were like, you're a legend.

Yeah, they were protesting him being removed because they were all up for this. And then even... What's my crime? Bringing fun to the flight? It's a hot day in the sky. And it's a long flight. We're all a little bored. It's always hot in the sky close to the sun.

You've got to like get up and stretch your leg. so you don't have deep vein thrombosis and he thought what? But you also feel like a bit of a loser just walking up and down a lot. But if you're slipping and sliding. Now you're feeling like a real winner. Even the captain was embarrassed

to kick him off. Ladies and gentlemen, there's your captain. There's just like one kill joy. I want you to know that it wasn't my choice to kick Edward off. Obviously it's those absolute wet tails at corporate

who made me. kick him off but I salute him and we'll be exiting the airplane via the slide myself. I'm getting my boardies on as we speak. Dave, have you considered a career change? I've thought about it. Because sometimes it's like, at least that part would come so easily to you. You know what I mean? You've got a head start.

How hard can it be to learn to fly? I mean, the rest of it, basically, the planes fly themselves these days. But the planes don't make their own announcements themselves. No, they don't. Can't be far away. Yeah. But will they still have that charm, hopefully? I hope so.

Thank you, Edward. Finally, for me, I'd love to thank from Greenville, South Carolina. I think... Oh, no, no, you haven't said anything. I would love to think... Is their name Greenville, South Carolina? No, I would love to thank Ryan Zika. Oh, Ryan Zika.

I think they were kicked off the plane for ordering a succulent Chinese meal. What's the crime? They were confused. What's the charge? Ordering the second journey. Oh, my penis. Ah, yes. Congratulations to Ryan.

Ah, yes. Democracy manifest. We went through such a phase of saying that so much. We loved it. It was when we were on overseas one time when we just kept saying it. Ah, yes. Tata and farewell.

It was any time, any of us to just, anything, you guys ready for breakfast? Ah, yes. That was the best bit. underrated part of that whole thing Ah yes I see you know your judo Well

This is the man that got me on the penis Apparently as soon as the The cameras had gone He just said he'd stop fighting Like once he was in the car The cop said he really Backed right off Sorry about that

But obviously you've got to perform for the camera You simply must Sorry about that understandable I am guilty Dave you want to Do you want to thank a few From one Ryan to another This one's from Columbus, Ohio, and it's Ryan McCarthy.

Oh, God's country, Ohio. Ohio. Ryan was kicked off for bringing a live Bengal tiger onto the fly. Yeah, he did book a seat for it, and it sat quite politely. I've got to say, it was a well-trained tiger. That's good. But people were still like, that is actually bigger than you're allowed to have. Yeah.

Would that fit in the overhead compartment? It wouldn't. It would be comfy anyway. It'd be inhumane to put it up there. And when they approached him, he said, what? What? What?

What? What do you mean? What? I don't know. And I'm with him. That tiger was beautifully behaved. Thanks, Ryan. Good luck with the tiger, mate.

I'd like to thank now from Horsham here in Victoria, Nicole de Morton. Oh. Great name. Anything with a de. What about Nicole was kicked off for performing an entire version of guys and dolls solo. Playing both the guys and the dolls. Every character.

That's a complex role. They waited until the end of the standing ovation before she was removed. They gave with respect. Yeah. Pretty hypocritical if that's me. I'm not sure. Because I mean, you know,

the flight crew are happy to perform musicals all the time, if that's what that is. It is a musical day? When they're... Guys and Dolls? Yeah, oh yeah, sorry. I think you're saying,

is that what they do when they're showing us how to put on the Life Fest? is that a musical? Yeah, that's what I thought you meant to. I think of it as that, yeah. It's art. That's what I think. Yeah.

And one, and a two, and... Uh, ba-dam, bum, boom. Uh, thanks, Nicole. And finally, I'd like to thank from Keynesburg in... New Jersey. In New Jersey, it is Michael Will. Michael will be kicked off a plane. Oh, for the things he said...

Uh-oh. Incredibly inappropriate things he said. while having a nightmare. He was screaming in his sleep. You can't pin that on him. Yeah, but I mean, people were offended. Oh, yeah, interesting. You know what I mean?

Like, it was like, we understand you're asleep, but wow, I can't, I don't know how to explain to my kids what you were saying, Michael. I know it's not you, but, you know, you've scared some children. Dare we repeat any of the things? No, oh, no, no. Michael. Michael, Will. Be cancelled if he keeps falling asleep on planes.

You've got to stay awake on planes, mate. I know a lot of people try and take things to help them go to sleep on a plane, especially along flights. I'm going to need you to do the opposite. Please stay awake. You're going to need to stay awake for the full 24-hour flight to London. Thank you very much. All right.

Well, that brings us to the last thing we like to do. Welcome some people in the Trip Ditch Club. The way this one works is people who have been supporting us on the Triptich, On the shoutout level or above for three straight years Get welcomed into this club Bit of a theatre of the mine I'm standing on the door I've got the clipboard

I've got the list of names The guest list I'm going to lift the velvet rope I'm going to read your name out Tick you off In you go Inside the venue Inside the club

Dave's on the stage He's your hype man He's going to say He's going to really hype you up As you come in The whole crowd of Triptitch club members Is going to applaud and cheer Oh we're going to go wild

Jess will hype Dave up because he's not very good at it and she just feels he needs a little extra encouragement. Honestly fucking sick of him. That's not at all. There was no negativity in the main episode without you. Yeah, got to say that. I got a lot of praise from Heggy and Cody Hewitt who are not cynical in any way, especially Heggy.

And Dave, you normally book a band? Yes, I've actually booked Phil Buckel to perform solo. You got Phil. Oh, Matt, you'll get to see your friend again. Yeah, so good. Great. And I have obviously confirmed with him that the venue is air-conditioned as his requirements. You remember those, I'm sure.

So, yeah, Phil Buckle would be performing both solo and John Farnham hits. Wow. And I think he was also in the Southern Suns. Will he be playing any of their work? Yes. Oh, my God. A couple of those tracks. It's fantastic.

And Jess, you normally have a cocktail. What's your on-flight brawl cocktail? My. Yeah, I guess people really file it on a plane. I reckon it's got bourbon in it. It's Long Island iced teas and espresso martinis, two things that are guaranteed to fuck you. Mixed together?

Yeah, it's quite bad. Just put it in a jug. Actually, Bob, even though there are... Even though there are multiple alcohols in a Long Island iced tea, it's still the same amount as a normal cocktail because they just put less of each in. You are no fun. They're not going to here.

There'll be full shots of everything. These ones will kill you. And I'm your first, mate. Yeah. Okay. But I don't want one. Well, I don't care. I don't want this negative attitude.

And when we say one, we mean one bottle of each goes into this liquid. You are fucked. Oh, no. All right. Well, we got four inductees this week before I drink my final drink. Firstly, from Dubbo in New South Wales, Australia. It's Catherine Barn. Oh, barnstorming into the venue.

Barthorming is a plane thing, so that's pretty good. Bang, bang. From Frederick in Maryland in the United States, it's Victoria Brun. Oh, I'll get Phil to play Brun for you. I brun for you. That's what it sounds like. That works better written down because it looks like burn. But anyway.

From Paisley in Scotland, it's Craig Moet. Ooh, Paisley or from Paisley. Yes. And finally from Stanwood in Washington in the United States, it's Bailey. Bailey. We'll never fail to make this party. Crazy. Got you back, brother.

Thank you so much, sister. Welcome, into the club, Bailey, Craig, Victoria and Catherine with a Z. I'm going to start doing that. Just went for the, she finger out first, then changed to a fist pump, so then I just had the index finger and I poked her fist. I'm going to start doing that from now on. Good to see you. Like you're pushing the button for a lift.

Thank you. And, well, that brings us to the end of the episode. So, is there anything we need to sell before we go? That we love them and we support them and that if you want to support us, you can do so at patreon.com or do go onpod.com. And do go on pod.com is also where you can suggest a topic. It's also a link in the show notes and anybody can do that. So if you've got a topic that you think would make for a great do-go-one report, send it to us.

Hey, how about we also tell them that we've got a couple of live shows left at the comedy festival and around Matt is doing his show, Hong Kong, Habah, Haba, Ring and Ding a Ding, with LSD Trambley Virtual. We have got two more live podcasts, Sunday, April 17 and Sunday, April 24 at the European Beer Cafe. And one big quiz show left on Monday, April 18. This Monday, if you want to come on down, 9 o'clock, we've got some big, big guests booked in for the final show.

Yeah. Very exciting. And I also am coming up to do some stand-up in Sydney, Canberra, Brisbane, and the Gold Coast maybe in the next month or two. Hell yeah. And I think there'll be details for all of that of Matt Stewartcom. Hell yeah.

Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week with another episode. Hit us up at do go onpod.com. But until then, I'll say thank you so much and goodbye. Later. Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list

so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign. up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree. Very, very easy. It means we know to come to you

and you also know that we're coming to you. Yeah, we'll come to you. You come to us. Very good. And we give you a spam free guarantee.