Do Go On - 339 - The Island of Dr Moreau (with NICK MASON)

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

We're joined by our good friend (and the true host of the podcast) Nick Mason, as we hear about the batshit making of the 1996 film The Island of Dr Moreau. Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ See us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/the-quiz-show See Matt and Alasdair at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/honk-honk-hubba-hubba-ring-a-ding-ding Stream our 300th episode with extra quiz (and 16 other episodes with bonus content): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoon Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Island_of_Dr._Moreau_(1996_film)https://www.ranker.com/list/island-of-dr-moreau-stories/anncasanohttps://www.inverse.com/entertainment/why-the-island-of-dr-moreau-became-one-of-the-most-notorious-movie-shoots-everLost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenjai Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. To another episode of Doogal One, my name is Dave Warnocky. How you doing?

Pretend you didn't see any of that. At home, we'll just put the theme song in. It's going to be great. Alright. Okay, we won't be doing that. Shannan-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na----. My name is Dave Warnikey, and as always, I'm joined by Jess Perkins and Matt Schuett. Yeah.

And we got... Shan-na-na-na-na-na-na-n-n----------. And this week, we are also joined by a very very special guest, could you put your hands together for the wonderful Nick Mason? Oh my God. It is Sunday night, it is practically midnight. Let's learn some things. Let's do it. No. Okay, so, mistakes have been made.

I printed out the wrong ticket list. I sorted in the wrong order. Many of you probably wanted into the wrong show. I was just telling Carl on the door, just let him in. Just let him in. So we're making a loss on this tonight, Mason. Sorry, rather. But great to have you all here. Matt, Jess, how you going?

Good, thank you. I'm good, yeah, I'm great. Everyone would have seen the footy score today. Saints by 69. Nice. Nice. Very nice. It was a result so nice.

I'm going to watch it twice. I should check now. am I doing the report or not doing the report? Honestly, I'd be worried about anyone except you because when you do do your report, you don't write anything out, you just go straight from the top of your dome.

So if we wanted you two right now, could you just give us like Spider-Man or something? Yeah. Snakey is the Nicholas Cage film. Oh, absolutely, yeah. He's a problem gambler in Las Vegas. Yeah, it's great. Let's do that.

So good. No, it's okay. I have written one. Okay, that's a relief. Dave, explain how the show works, though. Well, what we do here is we take it in terms of the report on a topic, often suggested by one of the listeners, go away, do a little bit of research, bring it back to the group, and then all have a bit of a laugh.

That's what we do. That's beautiful. Yes, that's how we describe it. And it is Jess's turn to do the report. But before we get into that, who's heard the show before? Nads, nerds. Your instinct was to put your hand up. I love it.

The one who put his hand up was a guy who's clearly been at the racetrack as well. That's a few. Motorsport guy. Very polite. Is that how they... I guess that's how they do it there. Everything's so loud you can't cheer when their cars go past. Just wave at him.

Put your hand up. On your ricardo. Other end of the scale. give us a wave or a cheer if you've never heard the show before. That can't be right, surely. Bit of a wave there. How are you? Thank you so much.

Have you wandered in? Yeah. Do you know what this is? Dave Hughes is not here. Thank you for joining us. So yeah, that was the explanation was for you. That's what we do here. And we always get a topic with a question.

Now Jess has done the research, so Nick you're off the hook. So, Jess, if the answer is Spider-Man, I'm going to be so happy. That would be very cool. But what's your question? My question is, which 1996 Marlon Brando movie has been described as roughly akin to watching a slow-motion train wreck in which the flame spread into the brush and become an out-of-control wildfire?

Is that one? It's something like Dr. Marvin Monroe or something? Oh, fuck, you're not bad. Island of Dr. Marvin Monroe? It's the island of Dr. Moreau, I think, yeah. It is the island of Dr. Moreau. Well done. I thought maybe Moso would get it.

No offence, Matt. I did not expect that from you. But you are a million years old. And you've seen every movie, I think. Is this one... Have you seen it? Have you seen Ireland of Dr. Moreau? I haven't seen it, but it's infamously

was just like a nightmare shoot. I know that. And I just realised I was saying a character from The Simpsons. Dr. Marvin Monroe's at it? Yes. I think you can mind him and Dr. Nick Riviera, I think.

some sort of horrible chimera, which is very accurate because it's very apt because that's mostly what the movie is about. Yeah, pretty much, yeah. So you've seen the movie? Yes. Fantastic. Wow.

No follow-up questions, please. No, no question. Well, I mean, obviously, obviously it was a bit of a disastrous production, otherwise it wouldn't make for a very fun story, would it? And then everything went really well. And everyone had a good time. The end.

No, this one's a real train wreck. And we had such a good time when Matt did the report on Raw. which... Are you impressed I vaguely remember that? Yes. Where were? Where are we want to do that? England.

Birmingham. And Raw was that movie about Melanie Griffith Living with Tigers or something? Yeah. Okay, yeah. God, you're good. I've also seen that probably. Oh my God.

You can't prove that I haven't right now. I can't. I wouldn't dream of it. It'd be such a weird thing for me to get obsessed about. And there's simply no time also. No, I know. We've started late, sorry again. People have lives and kids and jobs and work the next day.

I don't, though. I've got none of those things. We've locked the doors. This is going to be three hours long. Has anybody in the audience seen The Island of Dr. Moreau? Yes. Yes. What's it about I know, though?

But you tell me. No, no, I can do it. It's all right. You take the load off. So a bit of a back story, first and first. foremost. So the island of Dr. Moreau is a 1996 American science fiction horror film based on the 1896

novel, The Island of Dr. Moreau. Wow. By H.G. Wells. There you go. A hundredth anniversary. That's interesting. I know, beautiful, isn't it? It had already been adapted for the screen a couple of times, actually. First in 1932 with Islands of Lost Souls, and then the island of Dr. Moreau in 1977.

So, you know, just... When they get their ideas? I don't, you know, they're autos. Yeah, Hollywood. You know? I only recently learned what that word means. And I love to just chuck it in there now. So a brief summary of the plot of the movie for you. Just set the tone a little bit.

So United Nations negotiator, Edward Douglas, survives a plane crash in the Java Sea and is rescued by a passing boat. A board, Dr. Montgomery tends to him, and after telling him that the boat has no radio, convenient, he promises Douglas the captain will take him to Timor. However, when they arrive at Montgomery's destination, referred to as Moreau's Island, he instead advises Douglas to disembark

so he can use the radio on the island. They go to the main house where Douglas is warned not to wander. He meets a daughter of Dr. Morose called Issa, but Montgomery turns him away from her and leads him to his room. On the way they discuss how Moreau vanished after becoming obsessed with his animal research. Montgomery locks Douglas in his room. First red flag. Is that the first red flag? Where were you, Phil and suss? No radio. Don't wander.

Yeah. Don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. Come on this way. Come on this way. Don't worry about that. So he's locked in his room, but Douglas does manage to escape that night and he finds a lab where he witnesses the birth of a mutant baby. belonging to and delivered by human animal hybrids. All right, prudes. I'm in. This sounds great. Love is love, you sickos. Yeah, I don't feel good about it either.

Shut up. So Douglas has noticed, but he escapes and he runs into Issa who leads him to the village of the mutants. Dr. Moreau referred to as the father by the mutants, appears. He inflicts pain on the villages by using a remote control to activate an implant under the creature's skin as a form of submission. He's a cool guy. He explains his creations. He introduced human DNA into animals in search of a higher being, incapable of harm. How did he introduce that DNA? You were wondering that? I mean, I was wondering it.

Classic that he wouldn't know. How? How does it work? Explain. Explain that to me. One of life's many mysteries. Oh, Dave. I just want a mutant, all right? Just want to want my own. Which one would you go for?

If you're going to, if you're going to... If you're going to fuck an animal. Which animal is it going to be? There's no way I can answer this question. You literally just said I just want a mutant. Yeah, but I don't want any of the work. you know? My friend James, who I do a podcast with,

he has a real thing for Maid Marion, the fox in Robert Hood, and I reckon... A fox. Yeah, if he were here, he would probably confirm that that's his whole deal. He would say the... Oh my God, Robin Hood.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Holy shit. One time we were in Dublin and we saw this bird that was so hot. Yes! The hot bird! It was a really hot bird. Oh, my God. We might have been jet-lacked.

I don't know, but... Oh, that bird. It was a macabre. It was a magpie. But they're different over there. They're different. They're different. Their magpies are so hot.

Oh my God. I think about that bird so often. Is it just because you were on holiday and it was like a fling kind of situation? Do you think if you'd seen that magpie in Melbourne you'd be like, oh, yeah? I'd probably avoid eye contact, yeah. I'll always have Dublin. Alright, we know Dave's answer. Lock in hot bird.

So yes, he's introduced human DNA, don't worry about it, Dave, into animals. Okay. And the existing beast folk, as they're called, are imperfect, but Moreau claims to be very close to a solution. A mutant is unexpectedly killed and his body is burned and a mutant called hyena swine. What's his deal? I don't know.

Yeah, no. I mean, it's difficult with like a... Hyena swine, I don't know. He notices the pain. implant sounds like more like the island of dr portmanteau get it but they like they liked it they got a pause so i can go with it i reckon i think we all stopped talking long enough that they're all that's all it's awkward they wanted to fill the soils anyway hyena swine notices the pain implant and then he's like hang on a second and he removes his own pain implant

It's that easy. It's that simple. Just take it out. Anyway, Montgomery reveals to Douglas that in addition to the pain, the animals are controlled through regular drugings to prevent them from retrogressing. Hyena swine reveals the removed implant,

and so Montgomery sets the other beasts after him. Meanwhile, Douglas tries to contact the outside world, but Montgomery sabotages the radio. I don't think this Montgomery guys are very good. The beast folk removed their implants, and they kill Moreau. They take over the island, and Douglas is able to narrowly escape

and leaves the island on a raft. In closing narration, Douglas reflects on the comparable savagery that can emerge in humans and claims that he leaves the island in fear of what humans might be capable of. Pretty deep, hey? I'm more afraid of what those mutants are capable of.

Yeah. Probably got claws and that. Yeah, freaking hell. Teeth. You reckon they have teeth? Probably have teeth, yeah. They've got a whole island to themselves. what they'll do next. Freaking hell.

And this all happened on the set of the film. Yeah, it's crazy. That's crazy. So anyway, that's a plot summary. May so how did I do? Yeah, that was... Exactly how you remember the film? Yeah, absolutely, yeah.

Yeah, it's like it was yesterday. Good. Would normally do a spoiler alert at some point there, Bob. I think you've given a few of the key points away. All right. Spoiler alert. So making a film version of the island of Dr. Moreau was a lifelong dream of South African director Richard Stanley

who had first read the book as a child. He spent four years developing the project before getting the green light from New Line cinema. Was this before or after, did he learn that it had already been made? But they didn't have the heart to tell him. Oh no. No, no, no, yeah, you're the first.

Don't tell him. So New Line managed to secure Marlon Brando for the film. But some of the New Line Cinema team had concerns or hesitations towards Richard Stanley. He was a bit unusual. He's a bit of an odd guy. The guy who wants to make the hyenas wine. Yeah. Okay, that's interesting.

It's a surprise to everyone. There's a documentary they've made about it and he is a, he's very intense and he's just a bit odd. But the thing that really sort of set them against him. Okay. What is he about to do? To some animals. That's what I'm worried about. No, he doesn't have anything to animals.

But the president of Newline, a guy called Robert Shea, he, in the documentary he's talking about what sort of made him think this guy's a bit odd. And it was when Richard came in for a meeting and Robert Shea's assistant said, can I get you a cup of coffee? And Richard said, yes, please. And the assistant said, how do you take it? And he said, three or four sugars. That was it.

And Richard, Robert Schaeb. She said, this is a quote from him, when I heard that I thought, there's something going on here that I don't completely understand. But nobody takes four sugars in a cup of coffee and walks out as a solid citizen. And yeah, Richard's the weirdo. He is, though. So sneakily, Newline went behind Richard Stanley's back and offered the movie to director Roman Polanski. Because of the sugar.

Oh, my. Wow. Well, we can't have Mr. Three or Four sugars. let's get Roman Polansky. A totally normal guy. A much better decision. Oh my God. Let's get Harvey Weinstein to produce this.

This would be great. Well, furious about this, Richard Stanley demanded a meeting with Brando saying as he'd written the script and he figured maybe he could convince Marlon Brando to be on his side and use his star power to get Stanley back into directing the movie. He's like, I need the big guy on my side.

So this next part, I am quoting directly from Richard Stanley from a doco called Lost Soul, the doomed journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau. Did he know what's called that when they're interviewing? I don't think so. Richard Stanley's Fun Time Adventure.

I want to do an interview for it. Okay, yeah, I'll do that. So this is him talking about setting up a meeting with Marlon Brando and hearing that Marlon Brando isn't too thrilled about this meeting, and this is what he says. Knowing that the odds were stacked against me, I resorted to witchcraft. At that point in time, I was friendly with this warlock chappy in England.

Dr. Edward James Featherstone, commonly known as Skip. So Skip had been shown to demonstrate his ability to fix things, to do invisible mending before. So I said, my God, Skip, you've got to help me. You've got to save my movie. That's all a direct quote. To witchcraft. He says it so sincerely.

because at first you're watching it and you go, ha ha, oh God. How did Skip come to his help? I'm so glad you asked. Is Invisible Mending a metaphor or is he have like a genomey overlocker? How did that work?

I guess we'll find out. We are going to find out. Skip isn't so open with his methods. So Stanley claims at the exact same time that he was in a limo being driven up to Marlon Brando's house, Skip was on the other side of the world gathering his coven did some kind of routine quote to fix it and make it all all right I'm picturing like you know the Olympics they have those ribbons there's ribbons on a stick just a few of those I think so

yeah yeah throwing a big ball in the air doing a little flip catching it very cool stuff so Richard Stanley went to Marlon Brando's house along with a representative of New Line a woman named Ruth Vitale. Great name. He made a big mistake though because he went on the day of his daughter's wedding. The godfather. If anybody he wasn't sure.

And his daughter's name was Stella! All right, I'm out of references. All right, here we go. Man, I sure am tired of this apocalypse now. So Richard Stanley and Ruth Vital, they go to Marlon Brando's house, and Stanley says the room, that they were in was quite stuffy,

and Ruth commented to Brando that if the room got any hotter, she'd fall asleep. Very fun stuff from Ruth. So Brando turned up the heat, and 15 minutes later, Ruth was asleep. So she's gone as like a representative from the production company,

and she's having a kip. The meeting that followed while Ruth slept was apparently quite positive, although we really only have Richard Stanley's perspective. He says Brando was very sympathetic to his vision and he impressed him with his intimate understanding of the novel and its history. So much to the surprise of New Line Cinema,

particularly Ruth, who slept through the whole meeting, Brando supported Richard Stanley, and Stanley was confirmed as the director of the film. Now Brando was a Hollywood legend, obviously, but he wasn't a box office star. They needed somebody current of the time. Big box office, bring in some cash. So they needed someone who could do that.

Who do you reckon they went for? Mid-90s, action star. Was it Guy Pearce? It wasn't Guy Pearce. Brendan Fraser. Oh, man. That's my number one pick. It's slightly too early for him, I reckon.

Bruce. Val Kilmer? Val Kilmer comes in later. It was Bruce Willis. Wow. So they get Bruce Freckin' Willis in. And he was set to play Edward, the castaway, who finds himself stranded on the island.

And they also brought in James Woods to play Montgomery. And they're like, this is the perfect casting. This is exactly what we want. Marlon Brando, Bruce Willis, James Woods. Everything's happy. Nothing has to change. Who's Marlon Brando going to be? He's Maraud.

Oh, wait, okay. And who was James Wood? James Woods would be Montgomery. Oh, and they're two different people. I understood your synopsis before. Hopefully that's clearer in the movie, but... Yeah. I'm still hearing that, I don't know.

They are attached, right? They're like... They've been sewn together with a genomean. So Richard Stanley, he's back at the wheel of the movie, and he hits the ground running and launches into pre-production. They get special effects creator Stan Winston on the creation of makeup and costumes for Moreau's hybrid creatures. He's real good.

Mesa, what's he done? Ninja turtles. Ninja turtles. Yeah. Hey? More mutants. He's a mutant specialist. He's the best in the mutant biz.

And they start to scout for, locations to shoot the film and they ended up settling for Cape Tribulation a couple hours north of Cairns in Queensland. However, as it came closer to the time to actually film the movie, problems began to arise. Bruce Willis dropped out of the film. It's believed

Richard Stanley says it's because he was in the middle of his divorce with Demi Moore, but that happened a couple years later, but he's like nah, it was happening then that's why he dropped out of the movie. He did try to buy a town in the 90s. Maybe that's... Bruce Willis.

Yeah, yeah. He tried to buy a town. Yeah, like Idaho, Idaho or something like that. Fuck, I mean, if you're going to buy a town. It's going to be in Idaho, right? Where else? Yeah. Wait, name another, you can't.

It's Idaho. Yeah, it's Idaho, yeah. You're not an idiot. Dave, it'd be finding it really hard not to say that Idaho's not a town, I, yeah? No. I can see, you looked uncomfortable. I thought I'm like, Dave, one in a correct? Did you see the back of my head,

and you thought that back of his head looks. It was starting to shake. I was sweating back here. Oh, let it go. I mean, no one said Idaho was a town, but okay. Dave, you had no reason to feel furious. Settle down, Dave. Come down.

Sorry, wow. Sorry, everyone. You're a boiling cauldron of rage, if anything. I've let everyone down. So without Bruce Willis, they need somebody else, as Mayso alluded to before, they get Val Kilmer on board. And much to Richard Stanley's dismay,

Val Kilmer demanded a 40% reduction in the number of days he was required on set. That's pretty substantial. He's like, yeah, great, absolutely. No, I'll come on board, main character, perfect, wonderful. I'm not going to be there. I want the same number of days shooting, but I'm finishing it two.

Every day. Every day. I'm starting at 12. I'm a big luncheon and a big now when I go home. So to get around this, they sort of shuffled him around. They made him Montgomery instead. He's like, has slightly less screen time.

That's what I did. This is the second week in a row of, I've held someone's trick. It's good to know your place, isn't it, Dave? So they've just, at the drop of a hat, gone, fine, you can be that guy. Yeah. And you're that guy, fine, whatever.

Who cares? Yeah, so they move him to Montgomery and then they just get rid of James Woods. They're like, no part for you. Oh, no, they don't kill him. Well, I mean, have you seen him since? James, you're in the movie, but we've given your role a 100% reduction.

You can go home at midday if you want. So now they still need someone to play Edward Douglas, so they get Rob Morrow to play Edward. Rob Morrow from Northern Exposure. Yes. Yeah. But don't get too excited, because he fucks off as well. To do numbers, the TV series numbers.

Yeah, where he fights crime with numbers. Oh, yeah. Was that him? Yeah. Huh. You are a pack of nerds. David Cromholt's fought crime with numbers,

but that was his brother. Was he cast because his name sounds somewhat like the movie? Rob Morrow. Dr. Morrow. All right, you're in. I mean, that's not the dumbest thing that's going to happen.

Honestly, I'm feeling the vibe of this production. Yeah. So, Rob Morrow's in, but then Marlon Brando's... Sadly, Marlon Brando's daughter Cheyenne passed away very suddenly, and this is how brutal Hollywood is, leaving Stanley and his production in limbo, not knowing when or even if Brando would show up.

So sympathetic. So filming started, tensions had already been high between Stanley and New Line, and within a few days of production, things were reaching a crisis point. Within a few days, which is always good. While everyone on crew says Richard Stanley was incredibly passionate about the movie and enthusiastic about the months and months of fitting prosthetics and rehearsals for the beast folk like they got a guy in who um like it was an animal specialist and they got him to teach all of the extras how to move like animals and there was so many extras they were there for like

four months before anything actually happened just getting paid smoking a lot of pot oh man that's i did exactly that but i paid to do the drama degree so that's um That sounds amazing. That sounds amazing. Yeah, you fucked up. Anyway, so there were frustrations around Richard Stanley's lack of leadership as the film's actual director. He rented a house in the suburbs of Cairns

and very rarely ventured out of it. He rarely attended meetings, and some commented that he was probably in a little over his head. But if you ask Stanley what was going wrong at the time, he says this. Again, this is a direct quote. Is that about Bruce Willis's divorce? Things started to go wrong.

My PA got bit by a poisonous spider that was living in a web underneath a lampshade. She reached in to switch the lamp on and it bit her hand which caused her flesh to melt. It was incurable. Back in London, Skip the Warlock. Correct quote. This isn't Jess yet.

It's still him. And obviously, guys, Skip is a biochemist. Keep up. Skip the warlock said the clay walls in his lab had been too thin, that he'd accidentally become irradiated, exposed to radiation, and his bones started to crumble. He was in hospital and he caught necrotising fasciitis, a flesh-eating parasite. So during this time, every one of Skip's fixes came undone.

And that's why things weren't going well. PA got bit by a spider, Skips in hospital. What do you want me to do? And if you go into a cafe and cans and you ask for three sugars, they're like, get the fuck out of cans. You get out of cans. And obviously, he didn't have his main ally, Marlon Brando, yet. So he was more and more vulnerable to pressure from the studio.

And one of the biggest issues on set was Val Kilmer. He arrived two days later than planned. And from day one was said to be obnoxious and hostile. He wouldn't deliver his lines as scripted. And he would criticise and argue with Stanley. about the script and every small detail. I found this on a film database website, Wikipedia.org, if you're familiar at all.

No, I heard it. Yeah, it's like comprehensive movie database. It's like, it's got everything you want. Is it on the internet? Yeah. It's like an internet movie database, yeah. Fantastic. That sounds useful, I remember.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, like make a note of it. It'd be really handy. I'm not going to make a note of it. It'll be gone in the ear. All right, you're lost. So from Wikipedia, the studio mainly seemed... The studio mainly seems to have blamed the director for not getting Kilmer under control. But another significant factor was the sudden departure of co-star Rob Morrow on the second day of shooting.

With the location being pounded by bad weather, Dave pounding is something that I'm... Go on. Like the grown-ups, Steve. Yeah, please. And one day, little buddy. With the location being pounded by bad weather that had temporarily stopped filming, Morrow found himself unable to bear the tension and hostility on set any longer.

So he telephoned New Line chairman Rob Shea in Hollywood and tearfully begged to be let go. Sheik, don't feel bad for him. It was a bit rainy. He was like, oh, I don't like it. So he leaves two days into filming. So now we need to recast again. After a third day of filming, following emergency consultations with its on-set executives,

Newline abruptly fired Richard Stanley by fax. Oh, no. You're just there waiting for the dot matrix to pronounce. It's like, you are doing a really good job. You are getting more money. Getting less money. The main reason appears to have been his perceived unwillingness to deal with studio executives, and especially his problem in dealing with Val Kilmer.

His removal also predictably sent shockwaves through the cast and crew. Outraged female lead Faruza Bulk stormed off set after a heated exchange with New Line executives and then had a production assistant drive her all the way from Cairns to Sydney, 2,500Ks in a limo. Everyone's like in the docker, they're like, I don't think she is. had much of a grasp on the geography.

And I don't think she realised it was quite so far. I think she made it all the way back to Sydney. That's such a long way. About in a limo, I mean, what a way to go. She says in her mind it was like a great, it was a massive injustice. Like she was really upset that Richard Stanley was kicked off the film. Her expectation was that all the actors would walk off set in protest.

I assumed everyone would get in a limo and go to Sydney. Getting your limos, folks. we're forming a little wagon train. But nobody else did. She took the only limo for like three weeks. Everyone could have fit. But she was like, no, no, you get yours. But then her agents warned her

that the studio would ruin her and she would never work in film again if she broke her contract, so she went back to set. In a limo? In a limo. Richard Stanley was offered his full fee on the condition that he leave can.

So like, we'll pay you, your full director's fee, you just got to fuck off. And did he? Well... Because that sounds like a sweet deal, but have you been dreaming about this since you're a child? Are you going to take the money?

Oh yeah, he took the money. Okay. Well, there were rumours that he'd made comments about burning the set down. And New Line were really paranoid that he'd do something to sabotage the film. So they added a condition that in the event that the film continues to be made, he's not allowed within 40Ks of cans. And so a production assistant, They're going to join the bloody club, eh?

Take a number and get in line. 41Ks from Kansas, no worries. No worries at all. So he was driven by a production assistant to Cannes Airport and given a ticket home. But he never got on the plane. And more on that later. Now he's just going to be lurking around

in the back of our minds until we find out what happened to him. Like the production assistant's in the documentary and he's like, they said, take him to the airport, make sure he gets on the plane. and I took that as drop him at the airport. Next day they're like, he didn't get on the plane, and I'm like, well, I dropped him at the airport. So meanwhile, New Line brought in veteran director John Frankenheimer,

well known as one of the last of the old school Hollywood directors. Frankenheimer's gruff dictator approach was radically different from Stanleys, and he soon alienated most of the cast and crew. It's good to just hit the ground running. So he brings in new writers to change Richard Stanley's script, and they need to find a new actor to replace Rob Morrow. So they get David Thuless in from Harry Potter.

And after a couple of weeks of production being paused, they're back to filming. And by this time, Marlon Brando's finally turned up. And he is phoning it in. He's fucking around. So he gives zero fucks. He's like this movie, sucks. None of this matters. I'm getting paid. Whatever. He's just fucking shit up.

So he's making suggestions, he's making demands about his character and what he'd be wearing. And his decisions are often dictated by laziness. So for example, he says his character, Dr. Moreau, would be wearing white paint all over his face when he's outside. He'd just be covered in white paint. And that was mostly so that his body double could do most of the work. He would spend most of the day in his air-conditioned trailer while actors and extras sweltered in the tropical heat in full makeup and heavy costumes. It would take like three hours to get them in costume

because they're like really full-on prosthetics. But then they'd sit around all day, not sure if they're actually going to get filmed. But they, but the, like, costume people had to do the full proper job on them in case. And then they would just sit around. There was one time that Brando and Kilmer hate, They hated each other. They did not get along.

And on one occasion, this resulted in the casting crew being kept waiting for hours, with each actor refusing to come out of his respective trailer before the other. And they're just listening at the door? Yeah. Is he out? I'm not going out of here. So that's fun. There's actually a glimpse into what it's like to go overseas and tour with Jess and Matt.

You're waiting at the end of B&B door. I'm like, come on, we've got to go. Not until she gets out of her room. Deny it. I won't deny it. Matt is a diva. I'm annoyed if you've woken me out before Jess has left her room.

Don't wait me up to the car's running. Come down. This is my favourite part that I read about this story. So Brando refuses, he refused to learn his lines and apparently in a few films, including this one, he would wear an earpiece and his assistant would read the lines to him.

That's so handy. Yeah. Supposedly... I'd be right. Supposedly in Superman, too, he plays... Well, he... not supposedly. He plays Superman's father, and supposedly...

In the scenes with the baby, apparently they'd written the lines, like, on a poster note, on the baby. On the baby. Yeah. So... One of the best in the biz. He's peeling the poster notes off the baby's face.

But that's not even the bit I loved the most. So his assistant would be feeding him his lines, which is already amazing. But apparently one time, Brando would be in the middle of a scene and suddenly he'd be picking up police messages on his earpiece and would repeat, there's a robbery at Woolworths.

Honestly, reading that, I was like, yeah, I'm going to do this topic. That's fucking great. The other actresses just have to improvise. Why was they're like, that's fucking Marlon Brando. They're like, yes, the Woolworth's on this island. Yeah. Run by mutants. Yeah, but anyway, back to the mutants.

Yeah. It's a real fucking nightmare. In the whole movie, is he just doing this the whole time? Yeah, I don't, I don't, I mean, it's, it's mid-90s. How good could the technology be? So this is pre-Coles radio. He wouldn't have been picking up Coles Radio. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Another part that made me laugh was this quote from Val Kilmer who said he and Brando actually got along pretty well so don't believe everyone else but Frankenheimer went on to blame me publicly for ruining the movie I always thought it an odd thing to try to do blame me for his failure to make an entertaining film

because my character dies halfway through and the last half of the film sucks as bad as the first it's my fault It's my fault, is it? Okay. So the island of Dr. Moreau was released in August of 1996. It grossed 49 million worldwide on a budget of 40 million. That's less. Yeah.

Well, with marketing other expenses, yeah, big old loss for the studio. It received six nominations for the Razzie Awards, including Worst Picture and Worst Director. It won Worst Supporting Actor for Marlon Brando. And Val Kilmer was also nominated. At the 1996 Stinkers Bad Movie Awards, Brando was nominated for worst on-screen hairstyle. The white paint.

Yeah. I'm not buying it. He wears an ice cream tub. He does wear an ice cream tub at one point. What? Yeah, he wears like a bucket on his head. Like I said, he was fucking around. He kept suggesting stuff and they'd be like,

oh, I don't know about that, Mr. Brando. He'd be like, no, we're doing it. And he has like a bucket on his head at one point. Do you think that was a magpie thing? Yeah. Yeah, he's gone native. And then he would make the other actors like tip ice into it to keep him cool. It's very strange.

Wait, he wore it facing it up. Yeah. That's a good balance for Brando. Oh, he's got like his little chin strap going. Yeah. Yes. Is that seriously? I'm pretty sure, yeah.

You were there, fill it up. It was really bad. At one point, the actor that was playing his daughter is trying to talk to him about how their characters relate and he's like, what are you doing? Don't even worry about it. You're getting paid. Fuck it.

Like, he just did not care at all. Also, if you could turn around because I've written my lines on the back of your head. There's one anecdote that one of the actors tells he himself is German and Marlon Brando's like, oh, I speak German and starts talking to him. The guy's like, that is not German

and then Milinbrano just gets mad at him and keeps repeating himself until the guy's like oh ha ha ha and he's just he's yelling at a German man for not understanding he's German perplexing but I want to finish on

one of more baffling part of this story so remember how Richard Stan Lee the original director never actually left Australia he later admitted that he had retreated to a remote area in Cairns and was recovering from the emotional and mental strain of everything that had happened and several of the film's production crew

they were let go all various times and then like rehired as extras and they were camping in the same sort of general area as Stanley and word got around to a few of the production staff that there was a guy out near the campsite who seemed a bit unhinged

they knew this because of the sugars this guy's fucking mental well yeah the guy the bit unhinged and was complaining that Val Kilmer ruined his life and they were like we think we know exactly who that is so they go out and get him and with their help Richard Stanley

disguised in a full dogman costume snuck back onto set and actually performed in the film as an extra without any of the big wigs knowing So fuck you, Frankenheimer And that is the absolutely Bat-Shit story of the making of the island of Dr. Moreau.

Yeah, just broken. I mean, I wasn't interested in hearing until that guy yelled at he wears an ice cream bucket of music. I want to watch the whole movie because of that. Yeah, it's, um... Yeah, I don't know. Would you recommend watching it, Mesa?

No. Okay, great. Perfect, great. Watch the documentary about it though because Richard Stanley is a truly captivating person Just watching him, you're like, you're going to kill some people I'm sure of it Did the wizard ever recover from his firing thing?

I think so, I think Skip's okay Yeah, and still out there, war-locking up a storm Does that mean once he recovered all his spells Started working again? Yeah, and that's when Richard got on as an extra Found his calling as a dog man And he still lives as a dog man today.

Wow. Yeah, it's really beautiful. It's beautiful. Yeah. But yeah, watch the doco. He's bad shit. Don't feel bad for him. He's a coo.

Did he ever make any other movie? Nah. Nah. How did he get the job in the first place? He was kind of known in sci-fi horror. He'd done a few films. Nothing of this sort of magnitude.

Like such a big budget and such a big crew and stuff. He's been involved. Yeah, and he was fired day two. I love and hate him. You got to watch it. Anyway. Well, before we go, and this is much as for the people here is for the people at home,

Nick Mason, you do a podcast every single week. I do. It's called The Weekly Planet. It's about nerd stuff. We will occasionally make fun of the awful man that is Mylan Brando. Rest in piss. You will not be missed. He's no good. He's no good. He's no good. Newline Cinema made Sporn in 1997.

What? Like, come on. Guys, I think you're two... You made eight nightmare on Elm Street movies. And this is why you don't deal with people who have three or four sugars in their coffee. I'll lead you astray, every time. So, we can hear the weekly planet every single week on all the podcast apps.

Yeah, it's exactly right, yeah. It was so nice to have you here. Can we please have a big round of the horse for Nick Mason? Thank you so much, Mesa. We'd like to thank Carl Chandler and the European Beer Cafe. Great venue here. Give it up for them. Thank you so much.

We've loved having you here. Thank you so much. We'll be back next week with another live episode. But until then, we'll say thank you so much. And good night. And we're back in the room. And what a fantastic episode that was, if I do say so myself. And I have to say it myself because Jess here, obviously.

And I'm recording this section of the show, the fact quote or question, the Patreon section, the most important part of the show. I'm recording that solo. Obviously, we didn't do the full Patreon part of the show in front of the live audience. They'd already sat through, you know, an hour. long show, not sat through, they'd enjoyed an hour long show, and you know, we've got fairly strict times to finish

said shows. So, I am here, by myself, to thank a bunch of people who support do go on on Patreon.com or on do go on pod.com. And the first part of

this very special and exclusive part of the show is, of course, the fact, quote or question where Patreon supporters on the Sydney-Shineberg Deluxe Memorial level get to submit a fact, a quote, or a question. And they also get to give themselves a title.

Our first fact-quoted question comes from Nicole DeMorton, and Nicole's given themselves a title, official bagger of knackers. And I reckon that that's going to be explained in Nicole's fact quote or question. Nicole has asked a question. Nicole's question is, do any of you have a nickname? name that you don't really like, but just accept because it comes from a mate that loves you.

Nicole has answered their own question, says mine's knacker bags. There we go. It said it started as knickers, morphed to knackers, and the rest is history. Love the pod. Hope you all having an absolute baller of a week. Thank you so much, Nicole. Obviously, Dave does not have a nickname he doesn't like. He's obviously tried to start many nicknames for himself, most notably Cobra.

I don't have a nickname I don't love. like, but I was talking about this recently, actually. It doesn't happen so much on this podcast, but on radio, other podcasts, just around comedy, around work. Everybody always jumps straight to Perko. That happens without me ever introducing myself as Perko. I have never called myself Perko, but it just happens. And I don't dislike it, but I've never started it or really openly,

welcomed it. It just happens. But, you know, I think with a name like Perkins, it happens. It's fine. Australians love to shorten things. We love nicknames based on your surname. It happens. I don't think, I'm vaguely remembering

a nickname Matt has had Oh, Rowdy. Rowdy. One of his uncles calls him Rowdy. But I don't think that's, I don't think he dislikes it. I think it's a good nickname, actually. Routy's kind of cool. So I hope that kind of answers for you and a call. Nothing that we don't like. You know me.

If people had a nickname for me that I didn't like, I'd bloody give him a peace of my mind. Our next fact, quote a question comes from Ryan North, and Ryan's giving himself the title, Captain Better Late Than Never. Love that. And Ryan has given himself a brag.

Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I'm sure a few of you were mid-tweet, or you were getting onto the Patreon Facebook group, or you were ready to message me and be like, Jess, you forgot the most important part. I did forget that this section of the show has a jingle, and it goes a little something like this. Fact quote or question, ding!

And Ryan has opted for one of the options that we've added later, which is brag. You can give a brag, a suggestion, a recipe. You can literally tell us anything you want to in this section. And Ryan has chosen to brag, which I absolutely love. and Ryan's brag is. My brag is that I'm mates with Podfave, David Loring in real life.

What a man. I'm hopefully going to, back to Australia in August, and he can get a real big hug. Oh my goodness. That is so nice. What a brag. A brag about friendship.

That's beautiful. I hope you can get back to Australia in August, and you can give David Loring a really big hug. How nice. Next we have from Rating. Rachel Johnson, who's given herself the title Pied Piper of the Pod. Love that very much. Thank you very much.

And Rachel has given us a fact. And that fact is, Gary Newman is 13 days older than Gary Oldman. Wow. Okay. Okay. This is interesting. Because their names suggest otherwise, Rachel.

I'm guessing that's why you've told us. But their names should be the other way around. Gary Newman 13 days older than Gary Old Man should be the other way around A beautiful fact I would say Rachel I'm going to make a call on that

That's a fun fact So thank you for sharing that And finally for the fact to quote a question We have from Wheattington Incredible name Wheat has given themselves a title Junior Vice President of Joke Callbacks North Carolina Division

Yes good It's nice to have contact with our North Carolina office Obviously we don't get there as often as we'd like, so a pleasure to be checking in with our junior vice president over there. And Wheat, Wheatington has also gone for a fact, and that fact is. Oh, it's a longish one. Here we go. In May 2003, two men working at the main international airport of Angola boarded a former American airline 727, which was undergoing renovation. Without communicating and with no lights, they taxied onto the runway, maneuvered erratically, and took off.

flying southwest with enough fuel to travel 1,500 miles. Despite an exhaustive search, including the FBI and CIA, no trace has ever been found of the thieves or the plane, and it remains one of the largest aircraft thefts to date. That's right, it's a mystery fact. Wow! That's crazy. They were working at the main international airport,

and they just got on a plane that was being renawed. Wow, okay. And they just flew it and disappeared. What do you reckon, Wheattington? Do you think they've flown it to maybe an aircraft hanger they had? They've hidden the plane somewhere or did that plane ride not go quite to plan, I wonder? Hmm, thank you for that. That's a great fact. I'm definitely going to say that one's a fun fact. Love that. Thank you so much, Wheat Whittington, Rachel Johnson, Ryan North and Nicole DeMorton, appreciate you all. very, very much. Another thing we'd like to do

in this section of the podcast is thank, give a shout out to some of our patrons who support us on a, I want to say Ask Prod and above. And we've got a few

that I'm going to thank today. I'm going to get through the normal amount that we would normally do, I reckon, but I'm going to kind of really, really, I'm going to get through this.

I'm going to do it quickly and efficiently because that's the Perkins way. Now, normally, I would come up with some sort of game. Okay, the topic. This was my report. I should know this back to front.

But full disclosure, at the time of recording this section, we did this episode two weekends ago. And my brain, very tired from comedy festivals. So it was the island of Dr. Moreau, the making of the movie. Oh, okay, maybe I'll go for like what kind of, Beast person you are, you know, a hybrid of animals. Okay, I'm going to go with that. I'm happy with that. So first and foremost, I would love to thank from Lanesborough in Massachusetts, I'm guessing, M.A. Why do I always forget M.A.? Is that Maryland? One second. Let's do a live Googling on the podcast.

M.A. Massachusetts. Always follow your gut, Jess. You were absolutely right, you beautiful little angel. So from Lanesborough, Massachusetts, it's Shannon and Brian Cook. And conveniently, Shannon and Brian are actually the same species of beast folk. And that is, they are. They are. Okay, I'm looking around the room. There's no reference to animals in this fucking room. Horse, horse, horse, fox, horse foxes.

Oh, that's not bad actually. kind of like a horse body of fox head. Foxheads are pretty cute. So that's not bad. I think you've got to appreciate that. Shannon and Brian. Our resident horse foxes. Next, I would love to thank from deep within the fortress of the Moles.

That's right. Location Unknown. Jennifer Ann McKay. Jennifer Ann McKay, of course, being from the Fortress of the Moles, is a moldingo. You know, a beautiful native dog. to Australia with a mole

so that's pretty good so sorry so sorry no actually I'm not those are cute next from Arlington Massachusetts it's few MAs in the list today I would love to thank Daisy Chow

Daisy Chow is a great name a chow like a chow that's a dog Daisy has a little bit of a dog name that's sounded bad, but what I mean is I know a few dogs named Daisy. I also think it's a beautiful name for a human. So Daisy Chow, I'm going to say you are part Chow Chow, you are a Chow Chow Chow

minks, which is a beautiful combination, beautiful. Absolutely nailed that one, Daisy. Congratulations on being a fantastic beast folk. Next from Edinburgh in Scotland, obviously. Joe Greenen. Greenen is a good name. I like that very much. Okay, what's green? A frog. You are a frog. I want to say frog hammer, hammer is not an animal. You are a, oh, okay, frog hammerhead shark. Oh, that's honestly not a good combo, Joe. I'm pretty sure these beast folk are mostly land-based. So I'm not sure that one's going to be all that comfortable for you. But maybe you've got a bit more frog, than hammerhead shark. Maybe you've just got like a hammerhead shark shaped head, but like a frog, you've got the ability to be in and out of water.

Let's go with that so that you can still be a part of everything. Because I don't want you being excluded, Joe. That's not what this whole section of the show is about. It's actually the opposite. It's about being included. So thank you so much, Joe from Edinburgh. Next, from London. I would love to thank Ellie Gleave.

Ellie, Gleave. I love the name Ellie. Gleave is a beautiful surname. It goes very well with Ellie. I think maybe send your parents a little message and say, hey guys. Just wanted to say, thanks for naming me so well. Ellie Gleave is, of course, cat, cat, tiger. Tiger cat.

That's pretty cool, actually, because I know they're like similar, but you're just like a big old cat. You're just a big old stripy cat. Ellie Gleave, I'm so sorry. That's pretty cool. I don't, yeah, I don't really see how they'd be all that different. I think you're smaller than a tiger, but much bigger than a cat. You'll be very pleased with that, Ellie.

Also from London, I would love to thank Robin Keist. Robin Keast, beautiful. Robin, obviously some sort of bird, probably a robin, but I won't go so obvious. You are a magpie, magpie swan. again two birds there so similar but they are very different birds i think we can agree so again very big magpie but with the elegance of a swan and that's i think the important part because magpies here in australia um kind of shit to be honest they're just everywhere they're a bit of a pest they swoop us they swoop at us when we're just trying to ride our bicycles but um if the magpies

in Ireland or anything to go by. Beautiful birds. A shock of blue, but on a swan. Very cool, Robin. I think we can agree. I've nailed that one. So thank you very much. I would also love to thank from Orham in UT.

Is that Utah? Oh, my goodness. Oh, now I've lost the list. Hang on. Aurum in Utah. Colin J. Wright. Oh, okay, okay, what do I know? Okay, let's go for the state bird of Utah.

You guys got a state bird? Every state's got to have a state bird. Okay, state bird of Utah is the California gull. That makes no fucking sense or a sea goal. California doesn't make any sense. It's a seagull. Okay, so you're going to be a seagull, seagull polar bear.

or similar color scheme so I think that's something but it's pretty much like a polar bear sized person with a seagull head and wings so you've actually got the best of both worlds obviously with the polar bear being quite large you cannot fly but you've got the wings there as decoration I guess you're sort of like a chicken you can like hover a bit but yeah you are not doing any big flights

I'm sorry, but don't blame me. I didn't create the beast people. That's Dr. Moreau. That's who you want to talk to if you've got an issue with this. Penultimately, I would love to thank from Rochester and New York, KP. KP. Okay, kangaroo, kangaroo panda, I want to say. Kangaroo penguin?

It's definitely kangaroo. I'm not flinching on that. Oh, okay, we'll keep it Australian for you, even though you're from New York. Kangaroo platypus. Great combo there. Kangaroos, have you seen, like, really buff kangaroos? Those things are scary.

Kangaroos are, they are like the Arnold Schwarzenegger of the Australian wildlife. They are buff. And then you've got a cute little platypus bill. Oh, my goodness. You might be one of the cutest and coolest of the beast folk, KP. So congratulations. And finally, from Brooklyn, New York, I would love to thank Brandon Wang. Brandon is, of course, a badger and a goose.

Badger goose. A gooseger, a boose. Badger goose. I don't know that much about badgers, to be honest. They're not something we have a lot of here, but you're a very cute combo. and geese are fun. They make a little honk sound. And if they weren't a great animal, why would I name my pet after a goose? Like I wouldn't. So fantastic, fantastic choices all round. None of you made those choices. They were thrust upon you by Dr. Moreau, whose science is obviously

questionable. But thank you so much for supporting do go on again to Brandon, K.P., Colin, Robin, Ellie, Ellie, Joe, Daisy, Jennifer Ann, Shannon and Brian. Thank you so much. You absolutely Legends. I asked Matt to check for me earlier. I don't think we have any inductees into the Triptitch Club this week, which is probably for the best, because as we've seen, I've already lost my mind a little bit, just having to do these small tasks by myself. If I had to book a band, organize cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, let everybody in, shout them out, hype myself up. It would just be a disaster. And so you definitely want, Dave Warnocky welcoming you into the TripTidge Club.

I think we can all agree on that. So I guess then all there is for me to do is to thank you once again for listening to the podcast. If you came out to our live shows, if you were able to, thank you so much. We had such a good time doing these live shows for you. And our quiz show was a heap of fun as well. So we really appreciate people coming out during the Comedy Festival and seeing us do our thing live. We absolutely love it, so it means a lot to us. If you want to suggest a topic, which you absolutely can do,

you don't have to be supporting us on Patreon or anything to do that. You can do so at do go onpod.com. There's also a link in the show notes. Just follow those links and you'll be able to suggest a topic. If you've got like a good article you've read about it or sort of the, if you can give us a bit of an elevator pitch, that's often a really great way for us to identify a story. that we think is going to be, you know, good for a live show or good for just a regular podcast as well.

So, yeah, you can absolutely do that. There will be, no, there won't be another live show coming out. Yeah, there will, I think, be another live show that'll come out, maybe. Look, I didn't even have to say it at all if I'm not sure, but that's just how, you know, talking to yourself and a study late at night, this is what happens. Thank you so much, as always. for listening to DoGo on. We'll be back next week with another episode.

But until then, I will say for all three of us, goodbye, ladies, bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester.

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