Two In The Think Tank - 339 - The Island of Dr Moreau (with NICK MASON)

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

We're joined by our good friend (and the true host of the podcast) Nick Mason, as we hear about the batshit making of the 1996 film The Island of Dr Moreau. Support the show and get rewards like bonus... episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ See us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/the-quiz-show See Matt and Alasdair at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/honk-honk-hubba-hubba-ring-a-ding-ding Stream our 300th episode with extra quiz (and 16 other episodes with bonus content): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoon Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: dogoonpod@gmail.com Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Island_of_Dr._Moreau_(1996_film)https://www.ranker.com/list/island-of-dr-moreau-stories/anncasanohttps://www.inverse.com/entertainment/why-the-island-of-dr-moreau-became-one-of-the-most-notorious-movie-shoots-everLost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club, April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at dogo1pod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right. I'm doing shows with Saren Jayamana, who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February, Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattstuartcomedy.com.
Starting point is 00:00:40 We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Good evening!
Starting point is 00:01:29 Hello! And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocki. How you doing? Pretend you didn't see any of that. At home, we'll just put the theme song in. It's going to be great. All right. Okay, we won't be doing that.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. My name is Dave Warnocki, and as always, I'm joined by Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Yeah! Yeah! Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. And this week, we are also joined by a very special guest. Could you put your hands together for the wonderful Nick Mason? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:02:17 It is Sunday night. It is practically midnight. Let's learn some things. Let's do it. I know. Okay, so mistakes have been made. I printed out the wrong ticket lists. I sorted in the wrong order.
Starting point is 00:02:32 Many of you probably wandered into the wrong show. I was just telling Carl on the door, just let him in, just let him in. So we're making a loss on this tonight, Mason. Sorry about that. But great to have you all here. Matt, Jess, how are making a loss on this tonight, Mason. Sorry about that. So, but great to have you all here. Matt, Jess, how are you going? Um, good, thank you.
Starting point is 00:02:50 I'm good, yeah, I'm great. Everyone would have seen the footy score today. Saints by 69. Nice. Nice. Very nice. It was a result so nice. Oh, I'm going to watch it twice.
Starting point is 00:03:09 I should check now. Am I doing the report or not? Yes. Honestly, I'd be worried about anyone except you because when you do do your report, you don't write anything out. You just go straight from the top of your dome. So if we wanted you to right now, could you just give us
Starting point is 00:03:25 Spider-Man or something? Yeah. Snake is the Nicolas Cage film. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, he's a problem gambler in Las Vegas. Yeah, it's great. Let's do that. So good. No, it's okay. I have written one. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:03:41 That's a relief. Dave, explain how the show works, though. Well, what we do here is we take it in turns to report on a topic often suggested by one of the listeners, go away, do a little bit of research, bring it back to the group, and then all have a bit of a laugh. That's what we do. That's beautiful. Yes, that's how we describe it.
Starting point is 00:04:01 And it is Jess's turn to do the report. But before we get into that, who's heard the show before? Nerds! Nerds! Your instinct was to put your hand up. I love it! The one who put his hand up was a guy who's clearly been at the racetrack as well. It's a few... Motorsport guy. Very polite.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Is that how they... I guess that's how they do it there. That's a few. Motorsport guy. Very polite. Is that how they... I guess that's how they do it there. Everything's so loud you can't cheer when their cars go past. Just wave at them. Put your hand up. On your recados. Other end of the scale, give us a wave or a cheer if you've never heard the show before.
Starting point is 00:04:46 That can't be right, surely. Bit of a wave there. How are you? Thank you so much. Have you wandered in? Yeah. Do you know what this is? Dave Hughes is not here.
Starting point is 00:04:56 Thank you for joining us. So, yeah, that was the explanation was for you. That's what we do here. And we always get a topic with a question. Now, Jess has done the research, Nikki off the hook so Jess if the answer is spider-man I'm gonna be so happy very cool but what's your question my question is which 1996 Marlon Brando movie has been described as roughly akin to watching a slow-motion train wreck in which the flames spread into the brush and become an out-of-control wildfire. Is that that one? It's something like Dr. Marvin Monroe or something?
Starting point is 00:05:30 Oh fuck, you're not bad. Island of Dr. Marvin Monroe? It's the island of Dr. Moreau I think, yeah. It is the island of Dr. Moreau! Well done! I thought maybe Maceo would get it, no off offence Matt I did not expect that from you but you are a million years old and you've seen every movie I think Is this one, have you seen it? Have you seen Island of Dr Moreau? I haven't seen it but it's infamously
Starting point is 00:05:57 was just like a nightmare shoot I know that and I just realised I was saying a character from The Simpsons Dr Marvin I think you combined I know that. Yeah. And I just realised I was saying a character from The Simpsons. Dr Marvin Monroe, is that it? Yes. I think you combined him and Dr Nick Riviera, I think, into some sort of horrible chimera, which is very accurate because it's very apt because that's mostly what the movie is about.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Yeah, pretty much, yeah. So you've seen the movie? Yes. Fantastic. Wow. No follow-up questions, please. No. Well, I mean, obviously it was a bit of a disastrous production,
Starting point is 00:06:27 otherwise it wouldn't make for a very fun story, would it? And then everything went really well. And everyone had a good time. The end. No, this one's a real train wreck. And we had such a good time when Matt did the report on Raw, which, are you impressed I vaguely remember that? Yes.
Starting point is 00:06:46 Where were we? Fuck Divino. England? Birmingham. And Raw was that movie about Melanie Griffith living with tigers or something? Okay, yeah. God, you're good. I've also seen that probably.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Oh, my God. You can't prove that I haven't right now. I can't. I wouldn't dream of it. It'd be such a weird thing for me to get obsessed about. And there's simply no time also. No, I know. I've started late.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Sorry again. People have lives and kids and jobs and work the next day. I don't, though. I've got none of those things. We've locked the doors. This is going to be three hours long. Has anybody in the audience seen The Island of Dr Moreau? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:07:25 Yes. What's it about I know, though? But you tell me. No, no, I can do it. It's all right. You take the load off. So a bit of a back story, first and foremost. So The Island of Dr Moreau is a 1996 American science fiction horror film
Starting point is 00:07:44 based on the 1896 novel The Island of Dr Moreau is a 1996 American science fiction horror film based on the 1896 novel The Island of Dr Moreau. Wow. By H.G. Wells. There you go. 100th anniversary. That's interesting. I know, beautiful, isn't it? It had already been adapted for the screen a couple of times, actually.
Starting point is 00:07:57 First in 1932 with Islands of Lost Souls and then The Island of Dr Moreau in 1977. So, you know, just... Where did they get their ideas? I don't... You know, they're auteurs. Yeah, Hollywood. You know?
Starting point is 00:08:12 I only recently learned what that word means. And I love to just chuck it in there now. So a brief summary of the plot of the movie for you to set the tone a little bit. So United Nations negotiator Edward Douglas brief summary of the plot of the movie for you to set the tone a little bit so united nations negotiator edward douglas survives a plane crash in the java sea and is rescued by a passing boat aboard dr montgomery tends to him and after telling him that the boat has no radio convenient he promises douglas the captain will take him to timor. However, when they arrive at Montgomery's destination,
Starting point is 00:08:51 referred to as Moreau's Island, he instead advises Douglas to disembark so he can use the radio on the island. They go to the main house where Douglas is warned not to wander. He meets a daughter of Dr Moreau's called Issa, but Montgomery turns him away from her and leads him to his room. On the way, they discuss how Moreau vanished after becoming obsessed with his animal research. Montgomery locks Douglas in his room. First red flag. Is that the first red flag? Where were you, Phil and Sus?
Starting point is 00:09:18 No radio. Don't wander. Yeah. Don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. Come on this way. Come on this way. Don't worry. Yeah. Aisha. Don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. Come on this way.
Starting point is 00:09:25 Come on this way. Don't worry about that. So he's locked in his room, but Douglas does manage to escape that night and he finds a lab where he witnesses the birth of a mutant baby. Belonging to and delivered by human-animal hybrids. All right, prudes. I'm in. This sounds great. Love is love, you sickos.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Yeah. Yeah, I don't feel good about it either. Shut up. So Douglas is noticed but he escapes and he runs into Issa who leads him to the village of the mutants. Dr. Moreau, leads him to the village of the mutants. Dr Moreau, referred to as the father
Starting point is 00:10:07 by the mutants, appears. He inflicts pain on the villagers by using a remote control to activate an implant under the creature's skin as a form of submission. He's a cool guy. He explains his creations. He introduced human DNA into animals in search
Starting point is 00:10:24 of a higher being, incapable of harm. How did he introduce that DNA? You were wondering that? I mean, I was wondering it. Classic that he wouldn't know. How? How does it work? Explain! Explain that to me!
Starting point is 00:10:40 One of life's many mysteries. Oh, Dave. I just want a mutant, all right? Just one of my own. Which one would you go for? If you're going to... If you're going to fuck an animal. If you're going to fuck an animal, what's it going to be?
Starting point is 00:11:03 There's no way I can answer this question and not be you literally just said I just want a mutant yeah but I don't want any of the work you know my friend James who I do a podcast with he has a real thing for a maid Marian the fox
Starting point is 00:11:18 in Robin Hood and I reckon a fox he would probably confirm that that's his whole deal oh my god Robin Hood holy shit and I reckon... A fox. Yeah, if he were here, he would probably confirm that that's his whole deal. He would say the fox. Oh, my God, Robin Hood. Oh, my God. Yeah. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:11:29 One time we were in Dublin and we saw this bird that was so hot. Yes! The hot bird! It was a really hot bird. Oh, my God. We might have been jet-lagged.
Starting point is 00:11:38 I don't know, but... Oh, that bird. It was a magpie. It was a magpie. But they're different over there. They're magpies. No judges. They're different.
Starting point is 00:11:47 Their magpies are so hot. They're hot. Oh, my God. I think about that bird so often. Is it just because you were on holiday and it was like a fling kind of situation? Yeah, exactly. Do you think if you'd seen that magpie in Melbourne, you'd be like, oh, yeah. Yeah, I'd probably avoid eye contact, yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:03 We'll always have Dublin. All right, we know Dave's answer. Lock in hot burn. Okay. So yes, he's introduced human DNA, don't worry about it Dave, into animals. Okay. And the existing beast folk, as they're called,
Starting point is 00:12:20 are imperfect, but Moreau claims to be very close to a solution. A mutant is unexpectedly killed and his body is burned and a mutant called Hyena Swine... What's his deal? I don't know. Yeah, no, I mean, it's difficult with, like, a... Hyena Swine, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:12:40 He notices the pain implant. Sounds more like the island of Dr. Portmanteau I mean I didn't get it but they liked it they got applause so I can go with it I reckon I think we all stopped talking long enough to say they felt awkward and they wanted to fill the souls
Starting point is 00:13:04 anyway hyena swine stop talking long enough to say they felt awkward and they wanted to fill the soils. Anyway, hyena swine notices the pain implant and then he's like, hang on a second, and he removes his own pain implant. It's that easy. It's that simple. Just take it out. Anyway, Montgomery reveals to Douglas that in addition to the pain, the animals are controlled through regular druggings to prevent them from retrogressing.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Hyena swine reveals the removed implant, and so Montgomery sets the other beasts after him. Meanwhile, Douglas tries to contact the outside world, but Montgomery sabotages the radio. I don't think these Montgomery guys are very good. The beast folk remove their implants and they kill Moreau. They take over the island and Douglas is able to narrowly escape and leaves the island on a raft.
Starting point is 00:13:50 In closing narration, Douglas reflects on the comparable savagery that can emerge in humans and claims that he leaves the island in fear of what humans might be capable of. Pretty deep, hey? I'm more afraid of what those mutants are capable of. Yeah. Probably got claws and that, you know? Yeah, freaking hell.
Starting point is 00:14:10 Yeah, teeth. You reckon they have teeth? Probably have teeth, yeah. They've got a whole island of themselves, you know? What they'll do next. Freaking hell. And this all happened on the set of the film. Yeah, it's crazy.
Starting point is 00:14:26 It's crazy. So anyway, that's a plot summary. Mesa, how did I do? Yeah, that was... Exactly how you remember the film? Yeah, absolutely, yeah. Yeah, it's like it was yesterday. Good.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Would normally do a spoiler alert at some point there, Bob. I think you've given a few of the key points away. All right, spoiler alert. So making a film version of The Island of Dr Moreau was a lifelong dream of South African director Richard Stanley, who had first read the book as a child. He spent four years developing the project before getting the green light from New Line Cinema.
Starting point is 00:15:02 Was this before or after? Did he learn that it had already been made? They didn't have the heart to tell him. Oh, no. No, no, no, yeah, you're the first. Don't tell him. So New Line managed to secure Marlon Brando for the film, but some of the New Line Cinema team had concerns or hesitations
Starting point is 00:15:20 towards Richard Stanley. He was a bit unusual. He's a bit of an odd guy. The guy who wants to make the hyenas wine for the rest of the lot. Okay, that's interesting. It's a surprise to everyone. There's a documentary they've made about it and he's very intense and he's just a bit odd.
Starting point is 00:15:40 But the thing that really sort of set them against him. Okay. What is he about to do to some animals? That's what I'm worried about. No, he's not doing anything to animals. But the president of New Line, a guy called Robert Shea, he, in the documentary, is talking about what sort of made him think, this guy's a bit odd.
Starting point is 00:15:58 And it was when Richard came in for a meeting and Robert Shea's assistant said, can I get you a cup of coffee? And Richard said, yes, please. And the assistant said, how do you take it? And he said, three or four sugars. That was it. And Richard, Robert Shea said, this is a quote from him,
Starting point is 00:16:17 when I heard that I thought, there's something going on here that I don't completely understand. But nobody takes four sugars and a cup of coffee and walks out as a solid citizen. And, yeah, Richard's the weirdo. He is, though. So, sneakily, New Line went behind Richard Stanley's back and offered the movie to director Roman Polanski. Because of
Starting point is 00:16:46 the sugar. Oh my, wow. Well, we can't have Mr. Three or Four Sugars. Let's get Roman Polanski. A totally normal guy. A much better decision. Oh my god. Let's get Harvey Weinstein to produce this. This would be great.
Starting point is 00:17:02 Well, furious about this, Richard Stanley demanded a meeting with Brando, seeing as he'd written the script, and he figured maybe he could convince Marlon Brando to be on his side and use his star power to get Stanley back into directing the movie. He's like, I need the big guy on my side. So this next part, I am quoting directly from Richard Stanley
Starting point is 00:17:21 from a doco called Lost Soul, the doomed journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr Moreau. Did he know it was called that when they were interviewing you? I don't think so. Richard Stanley's fun time adventure. Want to do an interview for it? Yeah, I'll do that. So this is him talking about setting up a meeting with Marlon Brando
Starting point is 00:17:40 and hearing that Marlon Brando isn't too thrilled about this meeting. And this is what he says. Knowing that the odds were stacked against me, I resorted to witchcraft. At that point in time, I was friendly with this warlock chappy in England, Dr Edward James Featherstone, commonly known as Skip.
Starting point is 00:18:01 So Skip had been shown to demonstrate his ability to fix things, to do invisible mending before. So I said, my God, Skip, you've got to help me. You've got to save my movie. That's all a direct quote. It was ordered to witchcraft. He says it so sincerely. Because at first you're watching it and you go, oh, God.
Starting point is 00:18:27 Did Skip come to his help? I'm so glad you asked. Is invisible mending a metaphor or is he like a genomi overlocker? How did that work? I guess we'll find out. We are going to find out. Skip isn't so open with his methods. Oh.
Starting point is 00:18:50 So Stanley claims at the exact same time that he was in a limo being driven up to Marlon Brando's house, Skip was, on the other side of the world, gathering his coven, did some kind of routine, quote, to fix it and make it all all right. I'm picturing, like, you know, at the Olympics, they have those ribbons. There's those ribbons on a stick, just a few of those. I think so, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Throwing a big ball in the air, doing a little flip, catching it. Very cool stuff. So Richard Stanley went to Marlon Brando's house, along with a representative of New Line, a woman named Ruth Vitale. Great name. He made a big mistake, though, a woman named Ruth Vitale. Great name. He made a big mistake, though, because he went on the day of his daughter's wedding.
Starting point is 00:19:34 The godfather. Just for anybody who wasn't sure. And his daughter's name was Stella! All right, I'm out of references. All right, here we go. Man, I sure am tired of this apocalypse now. So Richard Stanley and Ruth Vitale, they go to Marlon Brando's house
Starting point is 00:19:59 and Stanley says the room that they were in was quite stuffy and Ruth commented to Brando that if the room got any hotter she'd fall asleep. Very fun stuff from Ruth. So Brando turned up the heat and 15 minutes later Ruth was asleep. So she's gone as like a representative
Starting point is 00:20:18 from the production company and she's having a kip. The meeting that followed while Ruth slept was apparently quite positive although we really only have Richard Stanley's perspective he says Brando was very sympathetic to his vision and and he impressed him with his intimate understanding of the novel and its history so much to the surprise of New Line Cinema particularly Ruth who slept
Starting point is 00:20:43 through the whole meeting, Brando supported Richard Stanley, and Stanley was confirmed as the director of the film. Now, Brando was a Hollywood legend, obviously, but he wasn't a box office star. They needed somebody current, of the time. Big box office, bring in some cash. So, yeah, they needed someone who could do that.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Who do you reckon they went for? Mid-'90s action star? Was it Guy Pearce? It wasn't Guy Pearce. Brendan Fraser. Oh, man. That's my number one pick. It's slightly too early for him, I reckon. Bruce.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Val Kilmer? Val Kilmer comes in later. It was Bruce Willis. Wow. So they get Bruce frickin' Willis in, and he was set to play Edward, the castaway, who finds himself stranded on the island. And they also brought in James Woods to play Montgomery
Starting point is 00:21:27 and they're like, this is the perfect casting. This is exactly what we want. Marlon Brando, Bruce Willis, James Woods. Everything's happy. Nothing has to change. Who's Marlon Brando going to be? He's Moreau. Oh, wait, okay.
Starting point is 00:21:41 And who was James Woods? James Woods would be Montgomery. Oh, and they're two different people. I understood your synopsis before. Hopefully that's clearer in the movie, but... Yeah. I'm still hearing that, I don't know. They are attached, right?
Starting point is 00:21:59 They're like, yeah. They've been sewn together with a genome. So Richard Stanley, he's back at the wheel of the movie and he hits the ground running and launches into pre-production. They get special effects creator Stan Winston on the creation of make-up and costumes for Moreau's hybrid creatures. He's real good. Mesa, what's he done?
Starting point is 00:22:19 Ninja Turtles. Ninja Turtles. Yeah. More mutants. He's a mutant specialist. He's the best in the mutant biz. And they start to scout for locations to shoot the film and they ended up settling for Cape Tribulation,
Starting point is 00:22:34 a couple of hours north of Cairns in Queensland. However, as it came closer to the time to actually film the movie, problems began to arise. Bruce Willis dropped out of the film. It's believed... Richard Stanley says it's because he was in the middle of his divorce with Demi Moore. But that happened a couple of years later.
Starting point is 00:22:52 But he's like, nah, it was happening then and that's why he dropped out of the movie. He did try to buy a town in the 90s. Maybe that's... Bruce Willis? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He tried to buy a town. Yeah, like Idaho or something like that.
Starting point is 00:23:04 Fuck, I mean, if you're going to buy a town, it's going to be in Idaho, right? Where else? Yeah. Wait, name another. You can't. It's Idaho. Yeah, it's Idaho, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:13 You're not an idiot. Dave, it'd be funny, really hard not to say that Idaho's not a town, are you? No. I can see, you looked uncomfortable. I thought I'm like, Dave, wanting to correct this. Did you see the back of my head and you thought, that back of his head looks very different? It was starting to shake.
Starting point is 00:23:39 I was sweating back here. Oh, let it go. I mean, no one said Idaho was a town, but okay. Dave, you had no reason to feel furious. Settle down, Dave. Calm down. Sorry, everyone. You're a boiling cauldron of rage,
Starting point is 00:23:55 if anything. I've let everyone down. So without Bruce Willis, they need somebody else, as Mace alluded to before. They get Val Kilmer on board. And much to Richard Stanley's dismay, Val Kilmer demanded a 40% reduction in the number of days he was required on set.
Starting point is 00:24:12 That's pretty substantial. He's like, yeah, great, absolutely, I'll come on board. Main character? Perfect, wonderful. I'm not going to be there. I want the same number of days shooting, but I'm finishing at two. Every day. I'm starting at two. Every day.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Every day. I'm starting at 12. I'm a big lunch and then a big nap when I go home. So to get around this, they sort of shuffled him around. They made him Montgomery instead, who's like, has slightly less screen time. That's what I did. This is the second week in a row I've held someone's drink.
Starting point is 00:24:46 It's good to know your place, isn't it, Dave? So they've just, at the drop of a hat, gone, fine, you can be that guy and you're that guy. Fine, whatever. Who cares? Yeah, so they move him to Montgomery and then they just get rid of James Woods. They're like, no part for you. Oh, no, they don't kill him.
Starting point is 00:25:10 Well, I mean, have you seen him since james was you're in the movie but we've given your role a 100 reduction so i'm afraid you can go home at midday if you want i mean so now they still need someone to play edward douglas so they get um rob morrow to play edward um rob morrow from northern exposure yes yeah wow but don't get too excited because he fucks off as well oh to do Get Rob Morrow to play Edward. Rob Morrow from Northern Exposure? Yes. Yeah. Wow. But don't get too excited because he fucks off as well. To do Numbers, the TV series Numbers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where he fights crime with numbers.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Oh, yeah. Is that him? Yeah. Huh. We're a pack of nerds. David Krumholz fought crime with numbers, but that was his brother. Was he cast because his name sounds somewhat like the movie?
Starting point is 00:25:49 Rob Morrow. Dr Morrow. All right, you're in. I mean, that's not the dumbest thing that's going to happen. Honestly, I'm feeling the vibe of this production. Yeah. So, Rob Morrow's in. But then Marlon Brando's sadly Marlon Brando's daughter Cheyenne passed away very suddenly and this is how brutal Hollywood is leaving Stanley and his production in limbo not knowing when or even if Brando would show up. So sympathetic. So filming started.
Starting point is 00:26:25 Tensions had already been high between Stanley and New Line and within a few days of production, things were reaching a crisis point. Within a few days, which is always good. While everyone on crew says Richard Stanley was incredibly passionate about the movie and enthusiastic about the months and months of fitting prosthetics and rehearsals for the Beast Folk, like they got a guy in
Starting point is 00:26:46 Who like it was an animal specialist and they got him to teach all of the extras how to move like animals and There was so many extras They were there for like four months before anything actually happened just getting paid Smoking a lot of pot. Oh man. I exactly that, but I paid to do the drama degree, so that sounds amazing. That sounds amazing. Yeah, you fucked up. Anyway, so there were frustrations around Richard Stanley's lack of leadership
Starting point is 00:27:18 as the film's actual director. He rented a house in the suburbs of Cairns and very rarely ventured out of it. He rarely attended meetings, and some commented that he was probably in a little over his head. But if you ask Stanley what was going wrong at the time, he says this. Again, this is a direct quote. Is that about Bruce Willis's divorce? Things started to go wrong. My PA got bit by a poisonous spider that was living in a web underneath a lampshade. She reached in to switch the lamp on and it
Starting point is 00:27:48 bit her hand, which caused her flesh to melt. It was incurable. Back in London, Skip the warlock... LAUGHTER This is all a direct quote. This isn't Jess yet. It's still him.
Starting point is 00:28:07 And obviously, guys, Skip is a biochemist. Keep up. Skip the warlock said the clay walls in his lab had been too thin that he'd accidentally become irradiated, exposed to radiation, and his bones started to crumble. He was in hospital and he caught necrotising fasciitis, a flesh-eating parasite. So during this time, every one of Skip's fixes came undone.
Starting point is 00:28:34 And that's why things weren't going well. PA got bit by a spider, Skip's in hospital, what do you want me to do? And if you go into a cafe in Cairns and you ask for three sugars, they're like... They're like, get the fuck out of Cairns! You get out of Cairns! Um...
Starting point is 00:28:56 We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.
Starting point is 00:29:25 And obviously, he didn't have his main ally, Marlon Brando, yet. So he was more and more vulnerable to pressure from the studio. And one of the biggest issues on set was Val Kilmer. He arrived two days later than planned and from day one was said to be obnoxious and hostile. He wouldn't deliver his lines as scripted and he would criticise and argue with Stanley about the script and every small detail.
Starting point is 00:29:49 I found this on a film database website, wikipedia.org, if you're familiar at all. No, I haven't heard of it. Yeah, it's like comprehensive movie database. It's got everything you want. Is it on the internet? Yeah. It's like an internet movie database, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:06 Fantastic. That sounds useful, I remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make a note of it. It'd be really handy. I'm not going to make a note of it. It'll be gone in a year. Alright. You're lost. So from Wikipedia, the studio mainly seemed
Starting point is 00:30:21 to have blamed the director for not getting Kilmer under control, but another significant factor was the sudden departure of co-star Rob Morrow on the second day of shooting. With the location being pounded by bad weather, Dave Pounding is something that... LAUGHTER
Starting point is 00:30:40 Go on. The grown-ups do. Yeah, please. One grown-ups do. Yeah, please. One day, little buddy. With the location being pounded by bad weather that had temporarily stopped filming, Morrow found himself unable to bear the tension and hostility on set any longer, so he telephoned New Line chairman Rob Shea in Hollywood
Starting point is 00:31:01 and tearfully begged to be let go. Shea, don't feel bad for him. It was a bit rainy. He was like, oh, I don't like it. So he leaves two days into filming. So now we need to recast again. After a third day
Starting point is 00:31:18 of filming, following emergency consultations with its on-set executives, New Line abruptly fired Richard Stanley by fax. Oh, no. You're just there waiting for the dot matrix to print out. It's like, you are doing a really good job. You are getting more money.
Starting point is 00:31:38 Getting less money. The main reason appears to have been his perceived unwillingness to deal with studio executives, and especially his problem in dealing with Val Kilmer. His removal also predictably sent shockwaves through the cast and crew. Outraged female lead Farooza Balk stormed off set after a heated exchange with New Line executives and then had a production assistant drive her all the way from Cairns to Sydney...
Starting point is 00:32:04 LAUGHTER..2,500 Ks in a limo. LAUGHTER Jen had a production assistant drive her all the way from Cairns to Sydney. 2,500 Ks in a limo. Everyone's like, in the docker, they're like, I don't think she had much of a grasp on the geography. I don't think she realised it was quite so far. I think she made it all the way back to Sydney. That's such a long way. But in a limo, I mean, what a way to go.
Starting point is 00:32:32 She says in her mind it was like a great, it was a massive injustice. Like she was really upset that Richard Stanley was kicked off the film. Her expectation was that all the actors would walk off set in protest. I assumed everyone would get in a limo and go to Sydney. Get in your limos, folks folks we're forming a little wagon train here we go but nobody else did she took the only limo
Starting point is 00:32:51 for like three weeks everyone could have fit but she was like no no you get yours but then her agents warned her that the studio would ruin her and she would never work in film again if she broke her contract so she went back to set
Starting point is 00:33:04 in a limo? in a limard stanley was offered his full fee on the condition that he leave can so like we'll pay you your full director's fee you just gotta you just gotta fuck off um and did he well because that sounds like a sweet deal but have you been dreaming about this since you're a child are you you going to take the money? Oh, yeah, he took the money. Okay. Well, there were rumours that he'd made comments about burning the set down. And New Line were really paranoid
Starting point is 00:33:35 that he'd do something to sabotage the film. So they added a condition that in the event that the film continues to be made, he's not allowed within 40 k's of cans. And so a production assistant they'll join the bloody club eh take a number and get in line 41 k's from cancer no worries at all so he was driven by a production assistant to cans airport and given a ticket home but he never got on the plane and more on that later oh now he's just going to be lurking around in the back of our
Starting point is 00:34:06 minds until we find out what happened to him like their production assistants in the documentary and he's like they said take him to the airport make sure he gets on the plane and i took that as drop him at the airport next day they're like he didn't get on the plane and i'm like well i dropped him at the airport so meanwhile new line brought in veteran director John Frankenheimer, well known as one of the last of the old school Hollywood directors. Frankenheimer's gruff dictator approach was radically different from
Starting point is 00:34:33 Stanley's and he soon alienated most of the cast and crew. It's good to just hit the ground running. So he brings in new writers to change Richard Stanley's script and they need to find a new actor to replace Rob Morrow. So they get David Thewlis in from Harry Potter. And after a couple of weeks of production being paused,
Starting point is 00:34:56 they're back to filming. And by this time, Marlon Brando's finally turned up and he is phoning it in. He's fucking around. So he gives zero fucks. He's like, this movie sucks. None of this matters. I'm getting paid.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Whatever. He's just fucking shit up. So he's making suggestions. He's making demands about his character and what he'd be wearing and his decisions are often dictated by laziness. So for example, he says his character, Dr Moreau, would be wearing white paint all over his face when he's outside. He'd just be covered in white paint and that was mostly so that his body double could do
Starting point is 00:35:37 most of the work. He would spend most of the day in his air-conditioned trailer while actors and extras sweltered in the tropical heat in full make-up and heavy costumes. It would take like three hours to get them in costume because they're like really full-on prosthetics, but then they'd sit around all day not sure if they're actually going to get filmed. But the costume people had to do the full proper job on them in case
Starting point is 00:36:01 and then they would just sit around. There was one time that Brando and Kilmer, they hated each other. They did not get along. And on one occasion, this resulted in the cast and crew being kept waiting for hours with each actor refusing to come out of his respective trailer before the other. And they're just listening at the door.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Is he out? I'm not going out if he doesn't go out. So that's fun. This is actually a glimpse into what it's like to go overseas and tour with Jess and Matt. You're waiting at the Airbnb door. I'm like, come on, we've got to go. Not until she gets out of her room.
Starting point is 00:36:39 Deny it. I won't deny it. Matt is a diva. I'm annoyed if you've woken me up before Jess has left her room. Don't wake me up till the car's running. Come down. This is my favourite part that I read about this story. So Brando refuses, he refused to learn his lines
Starting point is 00:36:59 and apparently in a few films, including this one, he would wear an earpiece and his assistant would read the lines to him. That's so handy. Yeah. I could use that on everything I've ever done. That'd be alright. Supposedly in Superman 2 he plays, well not supposedly, he plays Superman's father
Starting point is 00:37:18 and supposedly... Spoiler alert. In the scenes with the baby apparently they've written the lines like on a post-it note on the baby. On the baby. Yeah. One of the best in the biz. He's peeling the post-it notes off the baby's face.
Starting point is 00:37:35 But that's not even the bit I loved the most. So his assistant would be feeding him his lines, which is already amazing. But apparently one time Brando would be in the middle of a scene and suddenly he'd be picking up police messages on his earpiece and would repeat there's a robbery at Woolworths honestly reading that I was like yeah yeah, I'm going to do this topic. That's fucking great.
Starting point is 00:38:07 The other actresses have to improvise. They're like, that's fucking Marlon Brando. They're like, yes, the Woolworths on this island. Yeah. Run by mutants. Yeah, but anyway, back to the mutants. It's a real fucking nightmare. In the whole movie, is he just doing this the whole time?
Starting point is 00:38:26 Yeah, I don't... I mean, it's mid-'90s. How good could the technology be? So this is pre-Coles Radio. He wouldn't have been picking up Coles Radio. Coles, Master Cut. Another part that made me laugh was this quote from Val Kilmer, who said he and Brando actually got along pretty well.
Starting point is 00:38:45 So don't believe everyone else. But Frankenheimer went on to blame me publicly for ruining the movie. I always thought it an odd thing to try to do, blame me for his failure to make an entertaining film, because my character dies halfway through and the last half of the film sucks as bad as the first. It's my fault, isn't it? Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:10 So The Island of Dr Moreau was released in August of 1996. It grossed $49 million worldwide on a budget of $40 million. That's less. Yeah. Well, with marketing and other expenses, yeah, big old loss for the studio. It received six nominations for the Razzie Awards, including Worst Picture and Worst Director.
Starting point is 00:39:30 It won Worst Supporting Actor for Marlon Brando. And Val Kilmer was also nominated. At the 1996 Stinker's Bad Movie Awards, Brando was nominated for worst on-screen hairstyle the white paint yeah i'm not buying it he wears an ice cream tub he does wear an ice cream tub at one point um what yeah he wears like a uh like a a bucket on his head like i said he was fucking around he kept suggesting stuff and they'd be like, oh, I don't know about that, Mr Brando. He'd be like, no, we're doing it.
Starting point is 00:40:07 And he has like a bucket on his head at one point. Do you think that was a magpie thing? Yeah. He's gone native. And then he would make the other actors like tip ice into it to keep him cool. It's very strange. Wait, he wore it facing up.
Starting point is 00:40:24 Yeah. That's a strange. Wait, he wore it facing up? Yeah. That's a good balance for Brando. Oh, he's got like his little chin strap going. Yeah, yes. Is that seriously? I'm pretty sure, yeah. You're the fill it up. It was really bad. At one point
Starting point is 00:40:39 the actor that was playing his daughter is trying to talk to him about like how their characters relate and he's like, what are you doing? Don't even worry about it. You're getting paid. Fuck it. Like, he just did not care at all.
Starting point is 00:40:54 Also, if you could turn around, because I've written my lines on the back of your head. There's one anecdote that one of the actors tells, he himself is German, and Marlon Brando's like, oh, I speak German, and starts talking to him the guys like I that is not German and then Marlon Brando just gets mad at him and keeps repeating himself until the guy's like oh and he's yelling at a German man for not understanding his German perplexing but i want to finish on
Starting point is 00:41:27 one more baffling part of this story so remember how richard stanley the original director never actually left australia um he later admitted that he had retreated to a remote area in cans and was recovering from the emotional and mental strain of everything that had happened and several of the film's production crew, they were let go at various times and then, like, rehired as extras. And they were camping in the same sort of general area as Stanley. And word got around to a few of the production staff that there was a guy out near the campsite
Starting point is 00:41:59 who seemed a bit unhinged. They knew this because of the sugars. This guy's fucking mental. unhinged I knew this because of the sugars we as guys a bit unhinged and was complaining that Val Kilmer ruined his life and they were like we think we know exactly who that is so they go out and get him and with their help Richard Stanley disguised in a full dog man costume, snuck back onto set and actually performed in the film as an extra without any of the big
Starting point is 00:42:33 wigs knowing. So fuck you, Frankenheimer! And that is the absolutely batshit story of the making of The Island of Dr Moreau. Wow. Yay, Jess Perkins! I mean, I wasn't interested in hearing it until that guy yelled out,
Starting point is 00:42:58 he wears an ice cream bucket and said, I want to watch the whole movie because of that. Yeah, it's, yeah, I don't know. Would you recommend watching it, Maceo? No. Okay, great. Perfect, great. Watch the documentary about it, though,
Starting point is 00:43:13 because Richard Stanley is a truly captivating person. Just watching him, you're like, you're going to kill some people. I'm sure of it. Did the wizard ever recover from his firing thing? I think so. I think Skip's okay. Yeah, and ever recover from his firing thing? I think so. I think Skip's okay. Yeah, and still out there warlocking up a storm. Does that mean once he recovered, all his spells started working again?
Starting point is 00:43:33 Yeah, and that's when Richard got on as an extra. Found his calling as a dog man. And he still lives as a dog man today. Wow. Yeah, it's really beautiful. It is beautiful. Yeah. But, yeah, watch the docker he's that
Starting point is 00:43:46 shit don't feel bad for him he's a king did he ever make any other movies nah how did he get i don't know how did he get the job in the first place uh he was like he was kind of known in uh sci- horror. He'd done a few films. Nothing of this sort of magnitude. Not with such a big budget and such a big crew and stuff. This is the best thing he's been involved in. Yeah, and he was fired day two. I love and hate him.
Starting point is 00:44:16 You've got to watch it. Anyway. Well, before we go, and this is as much for the people here as for the people at home. Nick Mason, you do a podcast every single week. I do. It's called The Weekly Planet. It's about nerd stuff.
Starting point is 00:44:27 We will occasionally make fun of the awful man that is Marlon Brando. Rest in piss. You will not be missed. He's no good, hey. He's no good. New Line Cinema made Spawn in 1997. What?
Starting point is 00:44:43 Yeah. Come on, guys. I think you two, you made eight Night in 1997. What? Yeah. Come on, guys. You made eight Nightmare on Elm Street movies. And this is why you don't deal with people who have three or four sugars in their coffee. I'll lead you astray every time. So we can hear the Weekly Planet every single week on all the podcast apps.
Starting point is 00:45:01 Yeah, that's exactly right, yeah. It was so nice to have you here. Can we please have a big round of applause for Nick Mason? Thank you so much, Mason. We'd like to thank Carl Chandler and the European Beer Cafe. Great venue here. Good up for them. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:45:19 We loved having you here. Thank you so much. We'll be back next week with another live episode, but until then, we'll say thank you so much and goodnight. Bye! Bye! Stay in time! You've been cool.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Bye, everyone. And we're back in the room. And what a fantastic episode that was, if I do say so myself. And I have to say it myself because Jess here, obviously, and I'm recording this section of the show, the fact, quote, or question, the Patreon section, the most important part of the show. I'm recording this section of the show, the fact-quoter question, the Patreon section, the most important part of the show. I'm recording that solo.
Starting point is 00:46:09 Obviously, we didn't do the full Patreon part of the show in front of a live audience. They'd already sat through, you know, an hour-long show. Not sat through, they'd enjoyed an hour-long show. And, you know, we've got fairly strict times to finish said shows. So I am here by myself to thank a bunch of people who support Do Go On on patreon.com or on dogoonpod.com. of this very special and exclusive part of the show is, of course, a fact, quote, or question where Patreon supporters on the Sydney Scheinberg Deluxe Memorial level get to submit a fact, a quote, or a question. And they also get to give themselves a title.
Starting point is 00:47:00 Our first fact, quote, or question comes from Nicole DeMorton. And Nicole's given themselves the title Official Bagger of Knackers, and I reckon that that's going to be explained in Nicole's fact-quote or question. Nicole has asked a question. Nicole's question is, do any of you have a nickname that you don't really like but just accept because it comes from a mate that loves you? Nicole has answered their own question, says, mine's knacker bags.
Starting point is 00:47:27 There we go. Said it started as knickers, morphed to knackers, and the rest is history. Love the pod. Hope you're all having an absolute baller of a week. Thank you so much, Nicole. Obviously, Dave does not have a nickname he doesn't like. He's obviously tried to start many nicknames for himself,
Starting point is 00:47:43 most notably Cobra. I don't have a nickname I don't like, but I was talking about this recently, actually. It doesn't happen so much on this podcast, but on radio, other podcasts, just around comedy, around work. Everybody always jumps straight to Perko. That happens without me ever introducing myself as Perco. I have never called myself Perco, but it just happens. And I don't dislike it, but I've never started it or really openly welcomed it.
Starting point is 00:48:18 It just happens. But, you know, I think with a name like Perkins, it happens. It's fine. Australians love to, you know, shorten things. We love like Perkins, it happens. It's fine. Australians love to, you know, shorten things. We love nicknames based on your surname. It happens. I don't think – oh, I'm vaguely remembering a nickname Matt has had. Oh, Rowdy.
Starting point is 00:48:37 Rowdy. One of his uncles calls him Rowdy. But I don't think that's – I don't think he dislikes it. I think it's – I think it's a good nickname, actually. Rowdy's kind of cool so i hope that kind of answers it for you nicole nothing that we don't like um you know me if people had a nickname for me that i didn't like i'd bloody give them a piece of my mind um our next fact quota question comes from ryan north and ryan's giving himself the title captain
Starting point is 00:49:01 better late than never love that that. And Ryan has given himself a brag. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I'm sure a few of you were mid tweet or you were getting onto the Patreon Facebook group, or you were ready to message me and be like, Jess, you forgot the most important part. I did forget that this section of the show has a jingle and it goes a little something like this. Fact, quote or question. Ding. And Ryan has opted for one of the options that we've added later, which is brag. You can give a brag, a suggestion, a recipe.
Starting point is 00:49:41 You can literally tell us anything you want to in this section. And Ryan has chosen to brag, which I absolutely love. And Ryan's brag is my brag is that i'm mates with pod fave david loring in real life what a man i'm hopefully going to back to australia in august and he can get a real big hug oh my goodness that is so nice what a brag a brag. That's beautiful. Hope you can get back to Australia in August and you can give David Loring a really big hug. How nice. Next we have from Rachel Johnson, who's given herself the title Pied Piper of the pod. Love that very much. Thank you very much. And Rachel has given us a fact. And that fact is Gary Newman is 13 days older than Gary Oldman. Wow.
Starting point is 00:50:30 Okay. Okay. This is interesting because their names suggest otherwise, Rachel. I'm guessing that's why you've told us. But their names should be the other way around. Gary Newman, 13 days older than Gary Oldman. Should be the other way around. Gary Newman, 13 days older than Gary Oldman. Should be the other way around. A beautiful fact, I would say.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Rachel, I'm going to make a call on that. That's a fun fact. So thank you for sharing that. And finally, for the fact quota question, we have from Wheat Wheatington. Incredible name. Wheat has given himself the title Junior Vice President of Joke Callbacks,
Starting point is 00:51:07 North Carolina Division. Yes, good. It's nice to have contact with our North Carolina office. Obviously, we don't get there as often as we'd like. So a pleasure to be checking in with our Junior Vice President over there. And Wheat Wheatington has also gone for a fact. And that fact is, oh, it's a longish one. Here we go. Wheat, Wheatington has also gone for a fact, and that fact is, oh, it's a longish one.
Starting point is 00:51:24 Here we go. In May 2003, two men working at the main international airport of Angola boarded a former American airline 727, which was undergoing renovation. Without communicating and with no lights, they taxied onto the runway, maneuvered erratically, and took off, flying southwest with enough fuel to travel 1,500 miles. Despite an exhaustive search, including the FBI and CIA, no trace has ever been found of the thieves or the plane, and it remains one of the largest aircraft thefts to date. That's right, it's a mystery fact.
Starting point is 00:52:00 Wow! That's crazy. They were working at the main international airport and they just got on a plane that was being reno'd wow okay and they they just flew it and disappeared what do you reckon wheat wheatington do you think they've like flown it to maybe an aircraft hangar they had they've hidden the plane somewhere or did that plane ride not go quite to plan I wonder hmm thank you for that that's a great fact I'm definitely going to say that one's a fun fact love that thank you so much Wheat Wheatington Rachel Johnson
Starting point is 00:52:37 Ryan North and Nicole DeMorton appreciate you all very very much another thing we'd like to do in this section of the podcast is give a shout out to some of our patrons who support us on a, I want to say, ass prod and above. And we've got a few that I'm going to thank today. I'm going to get through the normal amount that we would normally do, I reckon. But I'm going to kind of uh really really I'm going to get through this I'm going to do it quickly and efficiently because that's the Perkins way now normally I would come up with some sort of game um okay the topic this was my report I should
Starting point is 00:53:17 know this back to front but full disclosure uh at the time of recording this section, we did this episode two weekends ago and my brain, very tired from comedy festivals. So it was the Island of Dr. Moreau, the making of the movie. Oh, okay. Maybe I'll go for like what kind of beast person you are, you know, a hybrid of animals. Okay, I'm going to go with that. I'm
Starting point is 00:53:46 happy with that. So first and foremost, I would love to thank from Lanesborough in Massachusetts, I'm guessing MA. Why do I always forget MA? Is that Maryland? One second. Let's do a live Googling on the podcast. MA, Massachusetts. Always follow your gut, Jess. You are absolutely right, you beautiful little angel. So from Lanesborough, Massachusetts, Shannon and Brian Cook. And conveniently, Shannon and Brian are actually the same species of beast folk. And that is they are, they are, okay, I'm looking around the room. There's no reference to animals in this fucking room. Horse, horse, horse, fox, horse foxes. Oh, that's not bad, actually.
Starting point is 00:54:36 Kind of like a horse body of fox head. Fox heads are pretty cute. So that's not bad. I think, I think you've got to appreciate that, Shannon and Brian. Our resident horse foxes. Next, I would love to thank from deep within the Fortress of the Moles. That's right, location unknown. Jennifer Ann McKay.
Starting point is 00:54:56 Jennifer Ann McKay, of course, being from the Fortress of the Moles, is a mole dingo. You know, a beautiful native dog to Australia with a mole. So that's pretty good. So sorry. So sorry. No, actually, I'm not. Those are cute.
Starting point is 00:55:17 Next, from Arlington, Massachusetts. Few MAs in the list today. I would love to thank Daisy Chow. Daisy Chow is a great name. A chow, like a chow chow, that's a dog. Daisy has a little bit of a dog name. That's sounded bad, but what I mean is I know a few dogs named Daisy. I also think it's a beautiful name for a human. So Daisy Chow, I'm going to say you are part Chow Chow. You are a Chow Chow minx, which is a beautiful combination. Beautiful.
Starting point is 00:55:54 Absolutely nailed that one, Daisy. Congratulations on being a fantastic beast folk. Next from Edinburgh in Scotland, obviously uh Joe Greenan Greenan is a good name I like that very much okay what's green a frog you are a frog I want to say frog hammer but hammer is not an animal you are a oh okay frog hammerhead shark oh That's honestly not a good combo, Joe. I'm pretty sure these beast folk are mostly land-based. So I'm not sure that one's going to be all that comfortable for you. But maybe you've got a bit more frog than hammerhead shark.
Starting point is 00:56:38 Maybe you've just got like a hammerhead shark shaped head, but like a frog, you've got the ability to be in and out of water. Let's go with that so that you can still be a part of everything because I don't want you being excluded, Joe. That's not what this whole section of the show is about. It's actually the opposite. It's about being included. So thank you so much, Joe from Edinburgh. Next from London, I would love to thank Ellie Gleave. Ellie Gleave. I love the name Ellie. Gleave is a beautiful surname. It goes very well with Ellie. I love the name Ellie. Gleave is a beautiful surname. It goes very well with Ellie.
Starting point is 00:57:07 I think maybe send your parents a little message and say, hey, guys, just wanted to say thanks for naming me so well. Ellie Gleave is, of course, cat, cat, tiger. Tiger cat. That's pretty cool, actually, because I know they're, like, similar, but you're just like a big Tiger cat. That's pretty cool actually because I know they're like similar but you're just like a big old cat. You're just a big old stripy cat Ellie Gleave. I'm so sorry. That's pretty cool. I don't yeah I don't really see how they'd be all that different. I think you're smaller than a tiger, but much bigger than a cat.
Starting point is 00:57:50 You'll be very pleased with that, Ellie. Also from London, I would love to thank Robin Keist. Robin Keist, beautiful. Robin, obviously some sort of bird. Probably a robin, but I won't go so obvious. You are a magpie, magpie, swan. Again, two birds there. So similar, but they are very different birds. I think we can agree. So again, very big magpie, but with the elegance of a swan. And that's, I think the important part because magpies here
Starting point is 00:58:23 in Australia, um, kind of shit, to be honest. They're just everywhere. They're a bit of a pest. They swoop at us when we're just trying to ride our bicycles. But if the magpie's in Ireland or anything to go by, beautiful birds. A shock of blue but on a swan. Very cool, Robin. I think we can agree.
Starting point is 00:58:44 I've nailed that one. So thank you very much. I would also love to thank from Orem in UT. Is that Utah? Oh, my goodness. Oh, now I've lost the list. Hang on. Orem in Utah.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Colin J. Wright. Oh, okay, okay. What do I know? Okay, let's go for the state bird of Utah. You guys got a state bird? Every state's got to have a state bird. Okay, state bird of Utah is the California gull. That makes no fucking sense.
Starting point is 00:59:23 Or a seagull. California doesn't make any sense.. Or a seagull. California doesn't make any sense. It's a seagull. Okay. So you're going to be a seagull, seagull polar bear or similar color scheme. So I think that's something. Um, but it's pretty much like a polar bear sized person with a seagull head and wings. So you've actually got the best of both worlds. Obviously, with the polar bear being quite large, you cannot fly. But you've got the wings there as decoration. I guess you're sort of like a chicken.
Starting point is 00:59:58 You can like hover a bit. But yeah, you are not doing any big flights. I'm sorry. But don't blame me. I didn't create the beast people. That's Dr. Moreau. That's who you want to talk to. If you've got an issue with this, um, uh, penult panda, I want to say. Kangaroo penguin. It's definitely kangaroo. I'm not flinching on that. Oh, okay. We'll keep it Australian for you, even though you're from New York. Kangaroo platypus. Great combo there. With the kangaroos, have you seen like really buff kangaroos? Those things are scary.
Starting point is 01:00:46 Kangaroos are, they are like the Arnold Schwarzenegger of the Australian wildlife. They are buff. And then you've got a cute little platypus, Bill. Oh my goodness. You might be one of the cutest and coolest of the beast folk, KP. So congratulations. And finally, from Brooklyn, New York, I would love to thank Brandon Wang.
Starting point is 01:01:09 Brandon is, of course, a badger and a goose. Badger goose. A goose-ger. A boose. Badger goose. I don't know that much about badgers, to be honest. They're not something we have a lot of here, but you're a very cute combo. And geese are fun.
Starting point is 01:01:32 They make a little honk sound. And if they weren't a great animal, why would I name my pet after a goose? Like, I wouldn't. So fantastic, fantastic choices all around. None of you made those choices um they were thrust upon you by dr moreau whose science is obviously questionable but thank you so much for supporting do go on again to brandon kp colin robin ellie joe daisy jennifer ann shannon and brian thank you so much you absolute legends um i asked Matt to check for me earlier. I don't
Starting point is 01:02:05 think we have any inductees into the trip ditch club this week. Um, which is probably for the best because as we've seen, I've already lost my mind a little bit, just having to do these small tasks by myself. Um, if I had to book a band, organize cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, let everybody in, shout them out, hype myself up, it would just be a disaster. And so you definitely want Dave Warnicke welcoming you into the trip ditch club. I think we can all agree on that. Um, so I guess then all there is for me to do is to, um, uh, thank you once again for listening to the podcast. If you came out to our live shows, uh you were able to, thank you so much. We had such a good time doing these live shows for you.
Starting point is 01:02:51 And our quiz show was a heap of fun as well. So we really appreciate people coming out during the comedy festival and seeing us do our thing live. We absolutely love it. So it means a lot to us. If you want to suggest a topic, which you absolutely can do, you don't have to be supporting us on Patreon or anything to do that. You can do so at do go on pod.com. There's also a link in the show notes. Um, just follow those links and you'll be able to suggest a topic. If you've got like a good article you've read about
Starting point is 01:03:21 it or sort of the, um, if you can give us a bit of a i don't know a bit of an elevator pitch that's often a really great way for us to identify a story that we think is going to be you know good for a live show or good for just a regular podcast as well so yeah you can absolutely do that um there will be now there won't be another live show coming out. Yeah, there will, I think, be another live show that will come out, maybe. Look, I didn't even have to say it at all if I'm not sure, but that's just how, you know, talking to yourself in a study late at night, this is what happens. Thank you so much, as always, for listening to Do Go On.
Starting point is 01:04:01 We'll be back next week with another episode, but until then, I will say for all three of us, goodbye. Laters. Bye. Bye. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures.
Starting point is 01:04:27 Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.

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