Two In The Think Tank - 341 - The Unkillable Solider, Adrian Carton de Wiart

Episode Date: May 4, 2022

Adrian Carton Di Wiart fought in multiple wars, was shot several times, had a hand and an eye amputated and he still fought on! Is this our most badass war badass ever?Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our new merch store:https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ See Matt do stand up in Sydney (May 12) and Brisbane (May 19)https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/  Stream our 300th episode with extra quiz (and 16 other episodes with bonus content): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoonTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-30685433 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adrian_Carton_de_Wiarthttps://www.irishtimes.com/culture/books/the-irishman-who-led-one-of-wwii-s-greatest-escapes-1.3046235 https://www.thefirstnews.com/article/extraordinary-story-of-the-one-eyed-one-handed-war-hero-who-fell-in-love-with-poland-and-didnt-leave-for-twenty-years-9694https://allthatsinteresting.com/adrian-carton-de-wiart Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club, April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at dogo1pod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right. I'm doing shows with Saren Jayamana, who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February, Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattstuartcomedy.com.

We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Brisbane on May the 19th. Please come along. It would be so nice to see you. Use the discount code DOOGO1.

And, yeah, the details will be in the show notes. Anyway, enough of that sweet plugging. I know that's what you came for in a lot of ways, but, you know, we've got a show to do, and we better get on with it now. So I'm going to throw to Dave, who is live from the European Beer Cafe. Hello! Yes, good evening! Hi!

How are we feeling? Hey, thank you so much for coming out on your Easter Sunday for a bit of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnke. Thank you so much for coming out. Matt's just wearing his jacket on the stage there, pretending he never saw that. Are you having a good Sunday? Hey, thank you so much for coming out. My name is Dave Warnke.

As I said, this is Do Go On, but it's not about me. It's about three of us. So could you please put your hands together and welcome to the stage Hey, thank you so much for coming out. My name is Dave Warnock. As I said, this is Do Go On, but it's not about me. It's about three of us. So could you please put your hands together and welcome to the stage Jess Perkins and Matt Sands-Jacket. Yeah. Oh. I'm sure no one noticed that, Dave. I don't know why you...

Okay, but I had to point it out because otherwise it looks like... I went like this. Oh. Anyway, like I had to say something. You are easily spooked. I got spooked. You're like a horse. Otherwise everyone would have been like, oh, Dave just moved his head.

Why? We're so confused. You've probably heard about the European beer cafe ghost. No, very excited to be here. Thank you for coming out again. Who left a family function to come here? Like three of you. Really?

What the fuck are the rest of you doing? Who has a family? Is that a thing people do when you have an Easter family day? Yeah, big time.

I've dodged it the last seven years because of Comedy Festival. Even when we've done shows on a Saturday. I'm like, oh, I can't go to a show. And they go,

okay. And I go, you fucking idiots. Yeah, they could just check their God. No, I can't, I've got a show. And they go, okay. And I go, you fucking idiots. Yeah, they could just check their guard. No, they don't, though. Because their family is stupid. They're so stupid. And unsupportive.

And they're not supportive, yeah. Or they know I've got a show on the satellite and they're like, oh, good, she's not coming anyway. They are relieved. Anyway, all right, a bunch of heathens in. Good to hear. Explain how the show works. Well, what we do here is take it in terms of a report on a topic

often suggested to us by one of the listeners. Go away, do a little bit of research, bring it back for the group. And it is my return to do a report this week. You said my return. See, that's the kind of thing you have to point out. Not when you turn your head a little bit. I reckon we could have got away with that one. You didn't hear the sound?

The crowd went... They saw the fucking ghost. How did I say my return? That makes no sense. It's Jesus' return. So I said it is my return. And guess what the topic is? We always go...

Oh. And I'm too far, I can't get out. Fuck. Too soon, too soon. It's been 2,000 years. Hey, Dave, you usually ask a question of the audience before you even ask that question. And our question is, have you heard the good word?

Who here's heard the good book? Do go on. Who's heard the show before? Fantastic. Wonderful. Thank you, thank you. Always a relief. Who hasn't heard?

That's okay, that's all right. Yeah, good, yeah. Hey, welcome, welcome in. Thank you so much. We Always a relief. Who hasn't heard? That's okay. That's all right. Yeah, good. Yeah. Hey, welcome. Welcome in. We are very welcoming. Yeah. Great.

And we will convert you. Or like a megachurch, we'll usher you into a side room and force you to donate to us. So great to have you in. Great to have you in. Someone read that as like an innuendo. Innuendo? Innuendo. No, that's one of the few things where I can donate to. Donate what?

I think come, yeah. There was someone who had... Oh, they saw the ghost again. They were either thinking they meant come or it was the ghost. Or they were going, I don't have my checkbook. Because it's not 1994. We accept American Express. All right.

My question, we will start with a question to get us on the topic. And the question for Jess and Matt is, what is the only thing more badass than a World War badass? Ooh. Fucking hell. That is a vague question. What's more badass than a World War II badass? Well, just generally a World War I or World War II badass.

There's only one thing more badass. Oh, it's not about Barry Breen, the guy who kicked that wobbly punt to get the Saints' one and only premiership in 1966, is it? Is it about Barry Breen, the guy who kicked that wobbly punt to get the Saints' one and only premiership in 1966, is it? Is it about Barry Breen? It actually is. It is. No, it is not. Sorry, everyone.

You're all thinking, please, let it be Khan. How about a multi-war badass? A World War I and World War II plus more wars badass. Ball wars. Boar wars. You misspoke. Including the Boar War. Holy shit. Today's subject is nicknamed the Unkillable Soldier.

But he was around in World War I, so I reckon he might be dead. Jess, he is the Unkillable Soldier. Okay, well, we'll find out. Not the Undiable Soldier. Okay, well, we'll find out. Not the undiable soldier. Okay, how else do you die? You may have tripped down the stairs or something. And so the stairs killed you.

Honestly, hold that thought for later. I'm serious. We'll talk about that in about 45 minutes. Today's soldier, it's a World War History podcast. Adrian Carton de Villa is the subject of this report. Suggested by multiple people. Thank you to John from Toowoomba, previously from Brisbane. Love how specific that is.

Great. Thank you, John. Everyone else, I'll just say your names. So thanks to Jack Ingold, Michael, Simon Arintz, Mike Weaver, Sharni Lee Fulton, James Neal, Kalina, Kelly Trey, David Kapler,

David Glue, and Jack Taylor. Is one of those David Glue? That's great. G-L- those David Glue. Glue. That's great. That's so good. G-L-E-W. Ah. That's the name.

Ah. He's actually from Endeavour Hills in Victoria. You hear, David? He wouldn't put his hand up now, would he? Just mocked his name. So thanks to those people. Here we go. Adrian Carton de Villa.

Look at that name, Jess. Beautiful. What a great name. Was born into an aristocratic family in Brussels on the 5th of May, 1880. So born in 1880 in Brussels. His father, Leon Constant Gislaine Carton de Villa. Has jizz in his name. The crowd loved it. They just loved that syllable of his name. The crowd loved it. They just loved that syllable of his name.

There is some really good names in this story, I swear. He was a lawyer and magistrate and the young De Vere's mother, Ernestine Venzig. Oh, that's great. That's good. Sadly she died when the boy was six, so probably shouldn't have paused there. The family moved to Cairo

in order for his father to become a director of a large property development company. During this time, Adrian learned to speak Arabic. So he's already a man of the world, or a boy of the world, which we'll continue. His father remarried to an English woman. He was then sent to a boarding school in England at the age of 11. After school...

The other speaker came on. I thought my ears popped. I was like, don't address it, Jess. Just be a professional. I noticed zero difference. Shall I get my ears to say it? Yes. Yeah.

Did you all notice that? Yes. Man, I sounded great before and I sound great now. That's all. Could you hear anything before? Do I have to recap? Could you honestly not hear much? He's from Brussels, 1880.

That's so much better. Okay, great, wow. Thank God it was early in the show, you know. He dropped out of Oxford. He went to Oxford. But he dropped out to join the British Army. Remember, he is not British. But he joined the British Army.

The Second Boer War broke out, as you were saying, Matt, in South Africa in 1899 with... Obviously you know a lot about the Boer War. Yeah. The politics of the situation. Yeah, there was... I do. I don't know if we have time for me to go into it.

There's simply no time, Dave. There's simply no time. The Boers were involved, though. I know that. I know that for sure. It was in South Africa. And the Boers were maybe like the white Dutch South Africans or something. Whatever. I reckon I had two out of three there, but you'll edit most of that out.

Let's start again. The speaker wasn't working. Don't worry, no one heard any of that. With Great Britain fighting against the two local Boer republics, De Vere recalled in his book later on, he recalled

at that moment, I knew once and for all that war was in my blood. If the British didn't fancy me, I would offer myself to the Boers. He just wanted to shoot someone. He didn't care who it was for. War was in my blood. Yeah. Okay.

Okay, your dad's like a real estate mogul. Yeah. And Dad's into houses, I'm into killing. Yeah. That makes sense. At the time he was under military age, wasn't a British subject and didn't have his father's consent to join the military.

Three strikes that would stop most people, but not our man who pretended to be 25 and signed up under a pseudonym and called himself Trooper Carton. Which, if you're going to fake a name, keep it simple. They must have been going like, that is normative determinants off the charts. Yeah, Trooper Gun. Or whatever that word is.

Trooper Carton. That sucks. You never know which way you're going. I know, I'm excited. But if a fight is what he wanted, a fight he got. Carton de Villa got shot in both the stomach and the groin. And was sent back to England to recover. Which would you prefer?

Gut or groin? Yeah. Come on. I mean, I do have abs of steel, so probably I could take it. He doesn't have a dick of steel, I guess. Absolutely not. Never been tested, anyway. No one knows.

I know, and it's not steel. Your answer, Jess? Groin. Who's the cereal groaner? I love it. I think it was an agreeance. It was, yeah. It was.

You said he... Now, why now? Why would you take a sip now? You are on a roll. Take a sip now. You are on a roll. For the people at home, I was drinking my drink at a bad time. But he said if he wanted a fight, he got one.

He was shot twice. Is that what you think of as a fight? Yeah. Well, I didn't tell you the people that he shot. Which is probably a lot. So he was sent back to England quite injured. It was only then that his father discovered that his son had abandoned his studies and his dad was furious.

But his son was keen to get back out and fight. So he was back at Oxford for a time to satisfy Daddy and... That was the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. Dave saying daddy. If I showed you a picture of this guy,

if he heard me call him and say that he said daddy, he would destroy me. But he went back to Oxford for a bit, waited a couple of years before he saw military action again. This time he was given a commission in the 2nd Imperial Light Horse and was back fighting in South Africa in 1901. This time he was old enough to fight under his real identity and served as a commissioned officer until the war ended the following year. He stayed in the military.

He kept fit between wars by running and playing sports, most notably polo, which he loved. It's so weird, like, you know, in the off season. Yeah, yeah. He was training. Just shooting horses. He loved polo. That's not how polo is played.

He did not love playing by the rules. Unsurprisingly, he also loves shooting and was invited to shoot in country estates across Europe. His other hobby was swearing. One of his friends remarked that, quote, he must hold the world record for bad language. Love this guy. His friend sounds like a nerd.

I say, fuck off. Tone it down. In 1908, he married a countess with one of what is the longest names I've ever seen. Yes, lay it on us. Countess. Oh, my God, it goes for like two full sentences. Frederica, Maria, Caroline, Henrietta, Rosa, Sabina, Franziska, Fugger, von Babenhausen. Yes!

Brought it home strong. Really brought it home strong. Babenhausen. Incredible. Holy shit. Incredible stuff. She was the daughter... Can I take your name?

I bet he said. I want to take her name. I want to get rid of Bop. Just be Babenhausen. You're Babenhausen. She was the daughter of an Austrian prince and princess. So pretty cool stuff. Babe, I've forgotten every other name in there.

Babenhausen. Yeah, because one of them was Fugger. It's Fugger von Babenhausen. Incredible. That's so good. Together they had two daughters. Because he was well connected through his family, his cousin Henri, or Henri, which probably would be Carton de Vie,

was Prime Minister of Belgium from 1920 to 1921. And Adrian remained a Belgian citizen serving the British Army until 1907 when he became a naturalised citizen. And when the First World War broke out in 1914, I listened to a few camelcore bands. They're great. I love it when you hate yourself. It's my favourite. Look at him.

Thinking about all his life choices. Remember Babenhauser? God, that was good. So he was fighting the forces of the Dervish state in the Horn of Africa. But being in the camel corps, that means he's riding into battle on a freaking camel. God, that's badass. He was there to quell a rebellion of the Dervish state who were fighting for independence from the British and Italian colonies. So not as badass as that bit.

But during an attack on an enemy stronghold, he was shot in the arm and then in the face. Which would you prefer, Dave? I've got a face of steel. If I had the choice, I'd shoot you in the face. Easy. No question. Honestly, I would pick arm just because they're small enough

they'd probably miss. Bullet would just go, doink. And I'd say, well, you know the rules, you missed, I can go now. And they'd go, fuck. Oh, we've got to change that rule. Where would you shoot, Dave? Let's go round the room. I mean, just to help you out, I'd try and get you right in the gullet or whatever that thing is.

Oh, yeah. Open up that throat. Sorry for people who don't know, I have a very small esophagus. Yeah, it's not a gullet, is it? I don't know what a gullet is. Esophagus. Thank you. What's it?

Do you know what a gullet is? Isn't it like birds have a gullet? Some people are nodding. Are they birds? Okay, so I was just up to the bit where he got shot in the arm and then in the face. And because of the shot to the face, he lost his left eye and part of his ear. Which ear?

I think it's his left ear. Imagine photos of this guy. Speaking in 1964, Lord Ismay, who served alongside Carton in Somaliland, described the incident. He said, quote, He didn't check his stride, but I think the bullet stung him up as his language was awful.

He's lost an eye. He's stung up. So unbecoming of a gentleman, isn't it? He's been shot in the eye. He's cursing. The doctor could do nothing for his eye, but we had to keep him with us. He must have shot in the eye. He's cursing. The doctor could do nothing for his eye, but we had to keep him with us.

He must have been in agony. Oh, my God. While recuperating from these injuries, Carton de Villa received a glass eye. It caused him such discomfort that he allegedly threw it from a taxi... Just threw it out the window. ..and instead acquired a black eye patch, which he would wear for the rest of his life.

Hell yeah. Badass. And it sort of becomes his trademark. Everyone knows him from the eye patch. And a few other things that I'll mention. He received the Distinguished Services Order, the DSO, for these exploits. But did the injuries slow him down?

No fucking way. Language, Dave. Sorry. I've been stung up for beauty. According to the BBC, fellow soldier, Lord Ismay that I talked about, also gave an insight into Carton de Vere's innate love of fighting.

He said, quote, I honestly believe that he regarded the loss of an eye as a blessing, as it allowed him to get out of Somaliland to Europe where he thought the real action was. He's a psycho. It's well worth losing an eye if you get to go fight the proper fight. Yeah, oh, good.

And he saw a lot more action during World War I, shipping out to the trenches of the notoriously awful conditions of the Western Front, serving in the notoriously bloody Ypres in 1915. During the Second Battle of Ypres, the Germans launched an artillery barrage in which Carton de Ville's left hand was shattered. According to his autobiography, which he titled Happy Odyssey, he tore off two of his own fingers when the doctor refused to amputate them. Could have done with a little bit of a warning on that one, I reckon.

That might have been worse than when you said daddy. Nah. His whole hand was removed by a surgeon later that year. So now... Were you into that? He's losing everything on his left. Bit of his ear. Eye. Eye.

Get out. That's very good. He returned to England to recover in a nursing home in Park Lane, the same place he went every time he got injured. And they're like, oh, you're back. The usual room. This became such a regular occurrence that they kept his own pyjamas ready for his next visit. He literally said, the usual.

Oh, my God. Before the end of the First World War, he was also shot through the ankle. Which one? Yeah. Wish I could tell you. Let's say left. Let's say left.

He's becoming a bit lopsided. This is my nightmare at this point. No left hand. So that's shot through the left ankle. Also the back of the skull. That feels important, that one. That's during the Battle of the Somme. Also very notorious.

Matt, ankle or back of the head? Really, the back of the head one matters it matters where's the bullet coming from. If it came from the front and got him in the back of the skull, then I'd say that's no good. But if it's just sort of skimming past the back, maybe that's fine. Yeah, okay. And you can just grow hair over it? Yeah.

I got a big head. I could shave off a little bit of skull, I reckon, and be okay. Yeah. Yeah, I've got to go with that as well. I'll be able to fit in a more hat. I've got a huge head. Yes. I can't find hats.

I've got a big old head. Don't laugh at me. I'm not done with the injury list. So we've got the ankle, the back of the skull. Yep. Then through the hip. Yep. Great. the hip. Yep. Great.

Left hip. If he goes swimming, he will go in circles. Well, later in this story, he's going swimming. Then he was shot through the leg at Canberra and then through the other ear. Yeah. Then he was shot through the leg at Canberra and then through the other ear. Finally.

The right-hand side's like, thank God. The right-hand side was getting a bit of FOMO. So just to recap, he has already been shot in this story in the groin, the stomach, the arm, the face, the back, the stomach, the arm, the face, the back of the skull, the ankle, the hip, one ear, and then the other

ear. Cool. That is eight separate places and he's lost a hand and an eye. Perfect. After a period of recovery, Carton de Vere once more managed to convince a medical board he was fit for battle. And then in 1916, he's like, he doesn't know this, but they're only halfway through the war.

He took command of the 8th Battalion, the Gloucestershire Regiment, after three unit commanders were all killed. the Gloucestershire Regiment, after three unit commanders were all killed. With the commanders all dead, Carton de Vere took charge of all three units and together they managed to hold the advancing enemy back. For this unflinching bravery, he was awarded the Victoria Cross, the highest award for gallantry in combat that can be awarded to British Empire forces. And his citation reads,

For most conspicuous bravery, coolness and determination during severe... Coolness. That's fun. Yeah, it's cool, isn't it? Yeah. They pinned it on him and just went, fuck yeah, brother. He's got sunnies on. Sunnies on an eye patch.

That's so cool. Yeah, it's very cool. That's so cool. This guy. Got to look after that other eye. So, coolness and determination during severe operations of a prolonged nature. It was owing in a great measure to his dauntless courage and inspiring example that a serious reverse was averted. He displayed the utmost energy and courage in forcing our attack home.

energy and courage in forcing our attack home. After three other battalion commanders had become casualties, he controlled their commands and ensured that the ground won was maintained at all costs. He frequently exposed himself... Come and get it! ..in the organisation of positions and of supplies, passing unflinchingly through fire barrage of the most intense nature.

His gallantry was inspiring to all. I mean, it's an amazing story, but I reckon he'd be insufferable. Just a conversation with him, you'd be like, oh God, you'd scull your drink and be like, I'm so sorry, I've got to top up. I've got to go, mate.

I've got to top up. And've got to top up and just go stand in a corner. Too much. In what way? What kind of things would he be? Just seems like a little bit of a psycho. Okay. That's the vibe I'm getting. I like how the worst thing you think about a psycho

is having to have a conversation with him. True, he is very keen to kill. My biggest worry about meeting him would be you can't complain about anything. If you've got a sore throat, he's like, who gives a fuck? I've been shot in the throat. You couldn't complain about anything.

Which you love doing, so... Yeah, it's true. Honestly. Love to complain. Have I told you about my throat? And also my loss of smell and taste. Anyway. So he's won the

Victoria Cross. It's the most prestigious award that you can be awarded. Humble about his bravery, he didn't even mention the Victoria Cross. It's the most prestigious award that you can be awarded. Humble about his bravery, he didn't even mention the Victoria Cross in his autobiography. Later, he's telling a friend, it had been won by the eighth Gloucesters, for every man has done as much as I have. So, very, very, quite humble about that.

But by this time, the man had become a full-blown legend in the military. To quote from the BBC, he electrified his men. The eye patch... He didn't electrocute them. Though he might have. The quote says, the eye patch, empty sleeve and striking moustache.

I forgot to mention he's got a very, very striking moustache. I'm back on board. I love this guy. Yeah. He's a very distinct looking man. Very tall as well. Ooh. Like a twirly moustache or mer-fuse? What are we talking about?

Just quite strong from side to side. Really painting a picture for the listeners there. Quite bushy. Right. If you were. Just think of a cool moustache, that's it. So a Hitler moustache. Hang on.

You said it, not me. Great. Great. What? You think the Hitler moustache is cool? It's bold, isn't it? Okay. No one's doing it anymore.

Yeah, Charlie Chaplin really ruined that. Michael Jordan had it for a little bit. No. Which was a strong choice. Yeah, Charlie Chaplin really ruined that. Michael Jordan had it for a little bit. No. Which was a strong choice. Yeah, bold choice, yeah. Alright, from the quote. He electrified his men. The eye patch, empty sleeve and striking moustache

combined with his bravery made him famous, with men under his command describing his presence as helping to alleviate their fear before going over the top during the trenches. But he also terrified men, because they knew that he was willing to do fucking anything, and he expected them to do the same. I found this war website, possibly German, I think.

It's pronounced wikipedia.org. It's a war website. Yeah, a lot of war on there. So the W would be for war. Yeah. What's the icky? What's the icky? I don't know.

Is that German for war? Yeah, maybe. Warwarpedia.org. That makes sense. So it's got everything you want about war on there. Yeah. That's handy. Why do they have the English letter W for war

and then the German word for war? I don't know. I guess it's marketing. That makes sense. That does make sense. Wikipedia was already taken. Oh, okay. And you don't want to go on that website. See some weird shit

on there. That's Matt's homepage. Idiot. Idiot. So I found this website and it quotes from a soldier, A.S. Bullock, about the first time the new leader, Carton de Villa, appeared. Is it Sandra Bullock? Yeah. It's A.S. Bullock. A. Sandra Bullock about the first time the new leader Carton de Villa appeared. Is it Sandra Bullock? It's A.S. Bullock.

A. Sandra Bullock. But which one? Sadly not the Academy Award winner. What a crazy coincidence. Are you Sandra Bullock? I'm A. Sandra Bullock. That's how she gets out of giving signatures. I'm having a lot of fun. So this is the quote from a Sandra Bullock.

First time. And their new leader, Carton, has appeared on the scene. Cold shivers. Cold. Their new leader, Carton, has appeared on the scene. Cold shivers. Cold shivers. I'm ace, Sandra Bullock. Okay. Cold shivers went down the back of everyone in the brigade, for he had an unsurpassed record as a fire eater,

the back of everyone in the brigade, for he had an unsurpassed record as a fire eater, missing no chance of throwing the men under his command into whatever fighting happened to be going. Bullock also noted that Carton de Vere, quote, despite having only one eye, ordered him to get his

boot lace changed. So they're all lined up and he went, you, change the boot lace. And he probably started crying. Somehow he got to the end of World War I. I don't understand the point of that. Even though he only had one eye, he was still able to tell a guy to change it. Yeah, from a distance.

Oh, I see. Right. Well, he must have the one that does depth perception. Which is classically the right one. Yeah. Yeah, I think you might be right. Somehow we got to the end of World War I, and despite having lost his eye, his hand had been shot eight times.

He said, frankly, I enjoyed the war. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow.

Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. After World War I, he was sent to Poland as second in command of the British-Poland military mission. The Brits were there to aid Poland, which was fighting against the Soviet Bolsheviks, the Ukrainians, the Lithuanians and the Czechs all at the same time. He lived a quieter life for a time after this,

by which I mean he survived two plane crashes in one year, one of which resulted in a brief period of Lithuanian captivity. Are you just skipping over a plane crash? Two. No, two. Okay. Don't worry, there's another one coming up. I simply didn't have time to go through all these plane crashes When the Poles won their battle and the mission was over

De Vere retired with the honorary rank of Major General and stuck around and lived in Poland in the largest state of a friend He did actually live a comparatively quiet life for a time Later writing, in my 15 years in the marshes I did friend. He did actually live a comparatively quiet life for a time. Later writing, In my 15 years in the marshes, I did not waste one day without hunting. I lived healthy and comfortably, close to nature and away from the troubles plaguing the interwar period. I had no contact with world affairs and, I must admit,

had no interest in them. Then World War II broke out. And you better believe De Vere was lining up to get a piece of that action. How old was he at this point? He's nearly 60 years old. And he had to escape Poland. He headed back to England where he re-enlisted in the British Army. So he's 60.

Despite pushing 60, he was granted the rank of Acting Major General. That was stoked to have him back. He's a legend. Yeah, that's fair. And Carton de Vere was summoned in April 1940 to take charge of a hastily drawn together Anglo-French force to occupy Namsos, a small town in the middle of Norway. Sadly, his men were outgunned and outsupplied by the Germans and had to hold on tight until they could be rescued and they had to leave.

But then in April 1941, de Vere was appointed by Winston Churchill himself to lead a British mission to help Yugoslavia. Sadly, he never made it there as the plane he was flying on had both engines fail and they crashed into the sea of the Italian-controlled Libya. A third plane crashed now. De Vere was knocked unconscious in the crash but came to in the cold, cold water. Carlton De Vere and his comrades stayed on the plane's wreck as long as they could, but then it started to sink and they had to swim for it.

He had to help one of his crewmates to shore, allegedly slinging him onto his back. Remember, this man has one arm, one hand, and then he swam both him and the guy to shore. Of course he did. What a guy. Fucking hell. When they made it, they were immediately captured by the Italians

and Carton de Vere was sent to a castle called Vincigliata outside of Florence. He was held there as one of 13 of Britain's highest-ranking captives. So he's a bit of a wild card, a draw card for them. An ace up the sleeve. Also in tow were fellow badasses, double World War veteran General Sir Richard O'Connor

and Lieutenant General Sir Philip Neame, who was the only person ever to be awarded a Victoria Cross and win an Olympic gold medal. Some people are just overachievers. And what was the medal for? Shooting.

That makes sense. It makes sense? Yeah. It makes sense. If it was like, I don't know, a decathlon, it'd be a bit disappointing, wouldn't it? More like rhythmic gymnastics. That'd actually be more impressive.

That would be really impressive. I mean, like the ribbon? Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful sport. So, De'Veo were these fellow high-profile badasses. And despite being in his 60s now, he led at least five attempts to escape the POW camp. Fucking hell.

I can't handle this guy. He'd be a lot to be married to, wouldn't he? Oh, yeah. He'd be a lot. Switzerland was only 200 miles away and the prisoners all had their eyes well and truly set on the target. Only 200 miles?

Yep. Easy. Easy. What's that in Ks? 320? 320. That was very quick, wasn't it? That's very good maths.

Much better than the man I shared a lift with earlier, who when I got in the car park... It was at you? They were dressed in formal clothes, a couple, a man and woman got in, and he was adjusting his shoes, had a bit of a Cuban heel, and his partner said, how tall is the heel? And he said, about one inch.

And she said, oh, what's that in millimetres? And he goes, uh... She goes, go on, have a go. And he goes, uh. She goes, go on, have a go. And he goes, 15? What vehicle are you in here? What's going on? An elevator.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah, sorry. Because the whole time I was like, why is he in the car? He drove you. They got into my Uber. I was too polite to tell them I was occupied. I said, where do you want to go?

What's up? 15 mil. Yeah. Okay. He was very far off. So Switzerland's only 320km away. What is it? It's 25 mil, right? That's not that...

I mean, it's not that far off. I don't think that's a noteworthy story. It's not like there was context. I didn't bring it up out of fucking nowhere. It felt like you'd been burning a hole in your pocket. How do I weave this one in? I've got quite the tale to tell.

About an idiot! So they tried to escape the castle. According to the Irish Times, they employed homemade ropes. They attempted to pierce the Great Walls with carefully concealed holes and even climbed down a medieval well before settling upon the hardest task of all, digging a 60-foot tunnel through solid bedrock. That's about 15 mils.

This later attempt took the generals seven months of excruciatingly back-breaking labour, with de Villa organising an elaborate system of watches and warnings as the teams burrowed deeper. Simultaneously, the prisoners managed to contact London via secret letters smuggled out for them at enormous personal risk by the Scarlet Pimpernel of the Vatican. The amount of legends you're just dropping and skimming over, it's amazing. Well, I didn't know that was a real thing.

I thought that was a book or something. Scarlet Pimpernel. Well, the Scarlet Pimpernel of the Vatican is a nickname given to Irish Catholic priests named Q. O. Flaherty, who in defiance of the Pope did everything he could to aid prisoners of war and a lot of Jews

under the noses of the enemy. He was a real hero, saved thousands of people. So he smuggled their letters for them. They enlisted Major General Michael Gambier Parry, who was rather artistic and was able to come up with forged documents and escape maps. It took months of secret digging,

but the generals completed their massive tunnel excavation in March 1943. What's going on? I don't know, just people making a lot of exclamations out there. It's a crazy story! It's just a few like... They're doing it out loud, so they're loving it, you know? Otherwise you keep that in.

Yeah. Fwah! But on the inside. Yeah. Never hold in a fwah. It's dangerous. They split into three teams of two. Four risked the Italian railways,

while De Vere and O'Connor, who was one of the other generals, chose to walk. Why? So far. And they're sleeping rough each night and relying on the kindness of strangers in a bid for Switzerland. And you have to imagine these guys are not the most inconspicuous looking dudes. And they do not speak any Italian.

O'Connor was a silver fox with a big white moustache. Hello. Hello. And Carton... Am I speaking your language? And Carton de Vere was a six-foot-two man with an eye patch and only one hand. Hello.

They stood out. Makes hitchhiking a lot harder. That was a good one. It wasn't your worst. Yet somehow they were able to elude recapture for eight days before finally being recaptured. Oh. And they didn't make it the 320Ks in eight days.

No. Weak. Fucking hell, that took me a year. Just out of laziness, to be honest. I'm big on rest days. Thankfully, halfway through the war, the Italians decided to switch sides and Captain de Villa was taken to Rome

to help negotiate with the Allies. They let him go. And he finally made it back to England in 1943. Upon his return to England, Prime Minister Winston Churchill, who was a big fan of his, summoned him where he informed de Villa that he was to be sent to China as his personal representative. The Prime Minister felt a soldier with experience of diplomacy,

such as Carton de Villa, would be the best man to be his personal representative between he and the leader of the Republic of China, Jiang Kaisheng. Churchill was a firm admirer of Carton de Villa, describing him as a model of chivalry and honour, and wrote the foreword to his autobiography. Ah. There you go.

Ah. For the next three years, he was to be involved in a host of reporting, diplomatic and administrative duties in the remote wartime capital, and he was very impressed by the Chinese people. He had a great time over there. He met Mao Zedong at a... Mao Zedong.

Thank you, thank you. This is the time before he became Chairman of China, but he was clearly on the rise. De Vere interrupted his propaganda speech to criticise him for holding back from fighting the Japanese for domestic political reasons. Mao was briefly

very stunned, looked up, saw who was heckling him and then laughed. Alright. I'll take it. After the Japanese surrender in August 1945, Carton de Villa flew to Singapore to participate in the formal surrender. Our man finally retired in October 1947

with the honorary rank of Lieutenant General. Pretty good. Is that better than the one he had before? Because he's like Major General or something. Imagine if he was demoted. Major feels better than Lieutenant, but... Feels better to say. Yeah.

It's more fun. You don't know, do you? I don't know. I do not. But I can tell you he'd also been appointed Knight Commander of the Order of the British Empire, meaning he was also Sir Adrian Carton. His list of medals and awards is mind-blowing

and I'll share a photo of them in our social media this week. But honestly, if you wore them all, it would weigh him down. I don't think it would. Because he swam with a man on his back. Yeah, that's true. I think he's a fucking tank. Yeah. I think he's the only person who could wear all those medals.

It would take me five minutes just to read them all out. But I counted 25 medals. Okay, no, that's too many. That's a pretty slow reading. A bit fudgy. Really? 25 medals. Five minutes.

Yeah, five per minute, 12 seconds a medal. I give each medal the respect it deserves. I give them all a salute. We get the trumpet player involved. Trumpet player? A bit of jazz. Yeah. I never them all a salute. We get the trumpet player involved. Trumpet player? Bit of jazz. Yeah. I never perform without a soundtrack.

Hit it. Imagine. Okay. He suffered another injury even away from the battlefield. En route home via French Indochina, Carton de Vie stopped in Rangoon, which is now Yangon, Myanmar, where he, as a guest,

was a guest of the army commander. Walking downstairs, he slipped on coconut matting, fell down, broke several vertebrae, and knocked himself unconscious. So he badly broke his back.

He had a fall. He had a fall. He didn't seem like self-unconscious. So he badly broke his back. Shit. He had a fall. He had a fall. He didn't seem like the kind of guy who would have a fall. But of course he recovered. What a guy. Sally's wife died in 1949. Have you mentioned her yet?

Yeah. She's the one with the incredible name. Babenhausen. Oh, okay. Oh, my God. Why didn't you say his wife? Yeah, that's all she is. Surely you're giving her the full... Read the full name.

Fucking hell. All right. Let's find this name. My God, this was a while ago, wasn't it? My favourite bit's Fugger. Yeah. South of his wife. Countess Frederica Maria Caroline Henrietta Rosa Sabina

Franziska Fugger von Babenhausen. Passed in 1949. You monsters. Have some respect. I can't believe you cheered that. What is wrong with you? You people are sick. You can't even say you didn't know that was coming.

We didn't even trick you. You disgust me. Every last one of you. He'd find love again though. He remarried in 1951. What? At the age of 71 to Joan Sutherland. A very boring name.

He was 23 years his junior and together they retired to Cork in Ireland. Okay. Well, that's nice, I guess. Some people are disappointed by that. But he didn't fully slow down in retirement. He was an avid salmon fisherman where he could be seen by the river

sporting a special harness for one-armed fishing. That's quite good. In 1950 he published that memoir, Happy Odyssey. Sir Adrian did not regard his reputation for having had an adventurous life as correct. As he wrote in his memoir, I think it has been made up of misadventures. That I should have survived

them is to me by far the most interesting thing about it. And I agree. I agree. He once told his friend, journalist Dennis Rolleston Gwynne, great name, that he thought self-pity was the worst of sins and that he would far sooner forgive a man

for burglary than for self-pity. Yeah, you really couldn't complain about your throat, could you? No. You couldn't say shit to this guy. But you could tell him that you stole his watch. Yeah. And he'd be like, that's cool. That's cool.

Whatever, man. Gwyn, the journalist also recalled, one of the last times I met him was on the steps of the county club in Cork after he'd been reported to be quite incapacitated. Oh, and he's meeting him on the steps as well. Playing with trouble. Is that a phrase? Yeah.

Playing with fire. Whatever. Who cares? Who cares? Like, everybody got it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Why are they beating me up over it?

These fucking guys. Yeah. They are monsters. They hold me to a really high standard. Yeah. It's unfair. God. So,

one of the last times the journalist, he'd heard he'd been quite incapacitated, he says, yet he was walking in from his car without even the aid

of a stick. When I expressed surprise, he replied that once a man uses a stick, his confidence goes and he would never face that. So he just kind of soldiers on no matter what. Sadly, all good things must come to an end. Not so unkillable then.

Adrian Carton de Villa died on 5 June 1963 at the age of 83. Wow. Not bad. That's a good innings. So Adrian was buried in the grounds of his house in County Cork. His wife joined him there 43 years later when she died in 2000. She got there really late for the funeral. Oh, my God.

Quite rude. Yeah. Arm didn't go off. She died in 2006, meaning she was 102. Whoa. Yes. She started as his junior, meaning she was 102. Whoa. Yes. She started as his junior, ended as his senior. That's cool.

Does that happen often? Probably does. Probably happens all the time. Yeah. Men live a lot harder lives. They die younger. Yeah. Much harder, isn't it?

As a feminist, I can say that. As a feminist. God, your life is hard, isn't it? It is a lot. It's a lot tougher. Oh, yeah. Cool thing. So hard. Grindstones. Yeah. Yeah, as a feminist. God, your life is hard, isn't it? It is a lot tougher. Oh, yeah.

What a thing. So hard. Grindstones. Yeah. Carrying things. Yeah, well, not really, but... But if, like, you could. Oh, yeah. You know?

I'm happy to say his legacy lives on. Carton de Vie is the subject of the 2022 song The Unkillable Soldier by Swedish power metal band Sabaton. From their 10th album, The War to End All Wars. Most of their 10 albums are written about war. My favourite description of him, though, is the Oxford Dictionary of National Biography describes him as with his black eye patch and empty sleeve

Carton de Vie looked like an elegant pirate and became a figure of legend. That is my report on the unkillable soldier. Give it up for Dave Warnicke everybody. Great stuff. What are you going to call this episode?

The Elegant Pirate? I like that. It'll be confusing right till the end. But that keeps them listening. Because they're like, it's got to come in here somewhere. He must be searching for treasure. And then they just get to the last bit and go, those fuckers. They tricked me.

Yeah, they'll hate it. Well done, Dave. A great report. Well done. They tricked me. Yeah, they'll hate it. Well done, Dave. A great report. Well done. Thanks, everybody. Thank you so much. Can we have a big round of applause for Doody on Sound? Thank you to the Euro for having us.

The elder legends behind the bar who've been serving everyone. Sorry, we had Josh on the door as well. Thank you so much. Thank you, Josh. We'll be back next week with the final live episode. But until then, I'll say thank you so much thank you Josh we'll be back next week with the final live episode but until then I'll say thank you so much and goodbye

later bye wowee that was a lot of fun great report Dave oh thank you so much With a click of our fingers We are now back in the studio

We're back in the room Wow We're back in the room And it's time for everyone's favourite section of the show We made it Where we thank a bunch of our great supporters Who without them This show would cease to exist

That's right We'd all crumble into piles of dust. We'd go into administration. Involuntary administration. And, yeah, the first thing we like to do is the fact, quote, or question section, which has a little jingle thing. It goes something like this. Fact, quote, or question.

Bing. He always remembers the ding. Now, at the time of recording, the fact quota question sack is nearly dry. Not dry. I just put the call out and luckily a subscriber by the name of Eric E. Morales has come to our rescue with a question. What a hero. He's the hero we needed.

So this is the only fact quota question. Yeah, we just got the one this week. So if you are on the Sydney Scharnberg level, which is where the fact quotes and questions come from, get in there. You should have the link. Message me if you don't have it. And yeah, chuck them in,

especially if you haven't had one in for a while. Get in there. So in this, you get to give us a fact-quoted question, brag or suggestion. It's up to you. Yeah, recipe or compliment. Also, welcome. Please.

Compliments especially. You also get to give yourself a title. I don't like the compliments. I find them awkward to read. But unless it's to someone else. I think that's part of the fun. Oh, okay. It's watching you cringe your way through it.

Oh, I love Matt. He's so good at what he does. Oh, I'm dying. I's so good at what he does. Oh, I'm dying. I'm going to spew up. So Eric has got the title of Junior Vice President of Unproductive Procrastination. Procrastination. Ah, very cushmish.

And Eric is asking a question, writing, Hi, Do Go On team. I have a question for y'all. Do y'all have any recurring dreams or nightmares? And, of course, Eric has answered this question. Oh, I love that. I would love to hear Eric's recurring dream, actually. Yeah, let's go with Eric's.

Okay. I've had a few that come up occasionally throughout my life. Since I was little, I've had a recurring dream of a mad scientist trying to fill a large container of liquid up to 100% but never succeeds. This dream only comes... I didn't take any of that in and then Dave did a little laugh

and then it all hit me at once. Just filling it up to 100%, okay. The dream only comes when I'm sick and has been happening as long as I can remember and I've also dreamt of a zombie Abraham Lincoln's face that stays motionless until it abruptly gets close to me oh anyway cheers and thanks for the continuing they're both scary i have uh a couple of typical ones the first one is uh my teeth are falling out oh yeah i hear a lot about apparently like in dream diaries and things like what does it mean

i don't really know. I think it's good luck or it's money or something. Wow. I think teeth falling out in dreams. I think it's good luck with money. Wow. Yeah, tooth fairy's coming. Yeah, it's horrible.

And then I wake up and go, oh, thank goodness it's not there. But when I was younger, I used to have a couple. One was that there was treasure at the end of my bed. Oh, yeah. Like this is when I'm in primary school. And I'd excitedly wake up check and then go it's just a pile of teeth but it was like oh oh no that wasn't real and the other one i had in my early years of uni after i finished year 12 was i'm about to go on for my year 12 play but i know that months ago we put the set in the skip i can't remember

any of my lines we've got no costumes the audience is waiting i've got to go out there and you're nude yeah i probably am i've googled that bit i'm fine with teeth falling out are associated with loss and important life changes this dream could indicate that you're dealing with some kind of loss like an abrupt end to a relationship or a job change yes very similar to cash yeah money yeah yeah that's why i feel like i've been suffering loss for years because i've with some kind of loss, like an abrupt end to a relationship or a job change. Yes, very similar to cash. Yes, money. Yes, that's right. I feel like I've been suffering loss for years

because I've had that dream on and off forever. I think my most classic one that I've heard other people having is running but not being able to run fast. I hate that. Just hardly moving but trying hard to run and finding it really frustrating. Trying to scream but nothing comes out. That one's really frustrating too. My longest one that is recurring,

I don't remember it happening for a little while, but it was one of my early memories as a kid, was this sinister man and I could never quite focus on him. But I remember the shirt he was wearing, sort of like this stripy shirt, sort of grey and blue. And I know he was bad. And he was just sort of haunting my dreams, never really interacting necessarily. Filling up a bottle to 100%.

Yeah. He just couldn't fill it. 98. Then it would just stop. A few more drops, stock. 98 then it would just stop a few more drops stock

and then when the other one that came to mind was when I used to drink a bit alcohol I would have dreams where I'm just

scowling orange juice which I think if I checked a dream diary I would say I was dehydrated yeah interesting but it's funny that you go straight to orange juice

yeah and I just couldn't quench my thirst just scowling and scowling orange juice yeah I don't really have any recurring dreams my boyfriend has a um an island he visits frequently in history that's the best in a nice way yeah yeah he's flying there and in the last and the last time he was there it had changed quite a bit oh wow yeah sort of you know new infrastructure and that is a what a great dream.

He's a big gamer though, right? Like he plays games. Like last summer around he was playing a game that was like on an island. Yeah, that's true. Is it sort of like that? Yeah, maybe. He's continuing the game in his dream. Shooting dogs.

Yeah, there's a lot of killing in that game. I think this one's a bit more of a peaceful island. That is a great recovery. Yeah. I love that. It's got an island in it, so I can't remember the name of it. Oh, I'd be looking forward to going to bed this one's a bit more of a peaceful island. That is a great recovery. Yeah. I love that. It's been an islanding episode. I can't remember the name of it. I can't remember the name of it.

I'm going to go on a bit. It's a good name for an island. It's Peaceful Island. Peaceful Island. Just popping away for the night. I'll see you later. Yeah. I'll be looking forward to sleeping in it.

I'm heading to the beach tonight. Yeah, that'd be nice. Yeah, that's a good one. It's a good question, though. Great question. Thank you very much, Eric. Eric E. And yeah, like I said, that's the only one that we've got at the moment.

I'm sure it'll be back to... I normally stay ahead of schedule, but we've recorded a few episodes back to back and we... We're trying to churn them out. Burnt through them all. Yeah. And they've all been fantastic. We appreciate all our Sydney Shine burgers. The other thing we like to do is shout out to a few of our other great supporters

on the shout out level or above, the arse prod or above. And, Bob, you normally have some sort of a game to play. Yeah. Where would they like to be shot? Yeah. So we were talking about taking a bit of the back of our skulls off. Yeah, we were talking about that. We don't have to do that.

It's a game that's a terrible idea, but I thought it was funny. I like it. I'd like to be shot in Hawaii. Yeah, I can't think of anything. This guy was such an interesting character. His book was called Happy Odyssey. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we could give a positive spin title for their autobiography

Yeah okay Let's name their autobiography Yeah Great Is it I always call it a game Is it a game? It's a bit of a game I guess

What else would you call it? Yeah Years in I'm like Just a thing to pass the time Hey have I been mis Describing this Alright so if I can kick us off, I'd love to start by thanking from Mongolo in New South Wales, Australia, Owen Petit.

Owen. Knock, knock, who's there? Owen. Owen who? Owen Petit. That's the whole name of the book. Knock, knock, who's there? Owen. Owen who? Owen Petit. That's the whole name of the book. Knock, knock, who's there? Owen.

Owen who? That's good. I like it. I actually do like that. I think that's quite funny. I picked that up. It's much like one of my favourite comedy show titles, which is Joe Lycett. It was, that's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, Joe Lycett.

That's very funny. That's good stuff. Yeah, what about Nazeem Hussain's one this year, which is, who's saying that? Like, who's saying that? Which isn't really a phrase, but I think it's so funny. That's very good. Who's saying that?

Who's saying that? Yeah, that's great. That's so funny. Yeah, those sort of, yeah, kind of stretch puns like that, if that is a pun. So, knock, knock. I think my all-time favourite show title was Alistair Trombeau-Birchells a few years ago.

Fuck it up, here we go. Yeah, that's incredible. So, knock, knock, who's there? Owen, Owen who? Owen Petit. I think that's fantastic. Very good. Next, I would love to thank from Undress Unknown.

Undress Unknown. Oh, Undress Unknown. Oh, no, it's the nightmare again. I'm Undress and I'm Unknown. My worst fears are coming real. From Address Unknown, I can only assume deep within the fortress of the moles they do reside, it's Kirsten E.

Kirsten E. Kirsten E. I wonder if they're related to Eric E. Keep on truckin'. Oh, I like that. In brackets. In the free world. Oh, I like that. In brackets.

Did you include my horn sound? Yeah. Keep on truckin'. In the free world. That's good. That's good. So it's sort of like a bit of a word play on the classic Neil Young song. Yeah.

Yeah. Keep on trucking. In the free world. That's really good. And finally for me, I'd love to thank from Stafford Heights in Queensland, Australia. It's Ashley Becks. Ashley Becks. Yeah. Put your Becks into it. Oh, that's good. It's Ashley Becks. Ashley Becks. Yeah.

Put your Becks into it. Oh, that's good. That's good. Put your Becks into it. It's one of those stretchy ones I was talking about. It's not quite there, but that's part of the fun. I think there's something almost grosser about ones that work well somehow. You know what I mean?

Yeah. What about have a Becks and lie down? or about ones that work well somehow. You know what I mean? Yeah. What about have a becks and lie down? I don't know what that means, but it's a saying that maybe English people say. Is it? Have a becks and lie down? It's just in the back of my brain. Me too, but I don't know what it means.

I'm guessing a becks is a brand of sedative or something. Yeah, something. Not the beer. Yeah. Or a nice cup of tea. Could be anything, really. Could be. What about bigger than Bexus?

That's so bad. That's good. That's so bad. Okay. I love that. Some options there for you, Ashley. Would you like to thank a few, Boppa? I'd love to.

I would love to thank from Destination Unknown. Ooh. Where do you reckon they might be from? Fortress of the Miles. Wow. I would love to thank John Wick. John Wick. I love this because I imagine that their whole life it was just a

normal name and then Keanu came along and made three movies that changed it all. So the name of the book is, no, not that John Wick. Yeah, yeah, that's true. In brackets, an even better one. Burning the John Wick at both ends. Oh, that's pretty good. No, that's not even a saying, is it?

It's burning the candle at both ends. But what are you burning if not a wick? That's true. That's a really good point. Maybe that's it. What are you burning if not a wick? What about johnwikipedia.org? Oh, that's good too.

All right, John be nimble, John be wick.org? Oh, that's good too. What about johnbenimblejohnbwick? That's it. That's the one. That's the one. Matt, you cannot deny that's the one. Dave is really John tonight wicks. Shut up. We didn't give a pun one to curse to me.

Shut up. Do we need to give a pun one? They don't have to be. I just said keep on trucking. They don't have to be puns. Oh, okay. It just feels like we've changed into that. All right, no worries.

For me as well, I would love to thank... Curse 10 out of 10, eh? There it is. Burst and wee. That's when you really got to go. I would love to thank from Port Macquarie in New South Wales, Lord James and Lady Paula Smith. I do say.

My lords and lady. Yeah. I do say. My lords. And lady. Yeah. Common people. Something like that. Yeah, that's good. You know, just playing it down. Yeah. That's right.

We're just like you. We're common people except we're a lord and a lady, motherfuckers. Love that. Yeah. Trying to be like, you know, like the people.

Yeah. And if books can have a theme song, it's obviously Common People by the people. Yeah. And if books can have a theme song, it's obviously common people by Pulp. Yeah. In the technology, by the time this book comes out, every book will have... Every book is an audio book. Yeah. They've all got songs on them.

Easily. Thank you, Lord James and Lady Paula. I would love to thank as well from Chicago, Illinois, Spenjamin Montema. Spenjamin Montema. Amazing. Something about like Benjamin's like money? Yeah. Spenjamin.

There's already too much going on I don't know what to do with it If we put a hyphen in we go Spen jammin Yeah On tamma Jeremy's iron Yeah I love that very much

Spen Jammin Have a. Jammin'. Jammin'. Have a pause. Span. Jammin'. One Tam. Yeah, that's some good stuff. That's some good stuff.

Her name is already that amazing. Yeah, you can't. What are you supposed to do with that? Do you want to thank some people, Dave? Yes, please. From Perth, WA. Right here in Australia, it is Eliana and Josh. Eliana and Josh.

Milky Mana and Tosh. It'll make sense by the end of the book. Okay. Yeah. I feel like, have you given away a plot twist there? No. Just Josh and your brackets with Eliana. Close brackets.

Okay, mine's still better. Okay. And mine was mostly answers. No better. They don't all have to be puns on their names, you know. It could be something about their story. It's just the name of their book. Which is Milkiana.

Not every book title is a pun on a name. I never said every book title was. I was confused by what Dave said before. Only the good ones. Only the good ones die young. That is their subtitle. That's their book, Eliade and Josh. Only the good ones die young.

We're still living. It's a long title, but again, it makes sense by the end. We'll never die I'd also like to thank Now from Upsella in Sweden Daniel Kjellan Really having a crack at it It's K-J-E-L-L-E

With an accent N Daniel Kjellan Kjellan it He's Daniel's Kjellan That's good He's Kjellan. Kjellan it. Yeah. I mean, yeah. He's Daniel's Kjellan it. That's good. That's good. He's Kjellan it. Kjellan.

I've never seen that before where state is select state. Yeah. Drop down menu fail. Yeah, we failed you there in Uppsala, Sweden. Daniel, thank you so much. And finally, I'd like to thank from Chermside in Queensland, Brayden Douglas. Brayden Douglas. Met Brayden Douglas before.

Now, he's a Tigers supporter. Okay. What about... Yep. Into the Bray Tigers Den, Douglas. Yes. Into the Bray Tigers Den, Douglas. We're at the end of a long recording day.

We're recording a long comedy festival at this point. Well, sorry, we're losing it. We've lost our minds. We're losing it. We're so tired. Jeez, we started strong with Knock Knock. Who's there? Owen, Owen, Owen Petit.

There was no coming back from that. We peaked too early. Too high of a standard. And the good news is we have another section of the show dedicated to pun titles on your name. So stay tuned. Oh, that's right. So that brings us to the triptych section.

Oh, my God. What do I normally say now? And we have quite a few people to thank. Oh, no. And we're running out of time. Quick. All right. So these people have been supporting the show on the shout out level or above for three consecutive years, never dropping off.

These are the diehards, the absolute number one supporters in our lives. Thank you so much. And to thank them again, we'd like to welcome them into a beautiful place, a fictional club that we've created. I like it when we have a longer list because you can really feel Dave getting into a rhythm. And you can really fuck that rhythm by criticising him immediately. No, not when he's in a rhythm. I haven't seen it often, but whenever he gets in one. What a fucking bastard.

And just to get ahead of your question, yes, I have got some more hors d'oeuvres and cocktails, except none of them are actually edible this time. This time it's just grenades. Because this guy loved war and I want to honour that. Like Jäger bombs? No, grenades. Live grenades. Yeah.

Do not order anything. And Dave, have you booked a band? Yes, that Swedish band that I just mentioned at the end of the episode that has the war theme songs. Oh, that's right. I forget what they were called. Don't worry about it. So, the way this works is if you're on the shout out level or above for three straight years. Sabaton.

Sabaton. Sabaton. You're welcomed into the Triptych Club. You're going to have a great party. I'm on the door. I'm going to read out your name. You're welcomed into the Triptych Club. You're going to have a great party. I'm on the door. I'm going to read out your name. You're welcomed in. Grab yourself a grenade.

Enjoy the fine musical stylings of Sabaton and listen to Dave hype you up. The whole crowd's going to go wild. They'll be chanting your name. Jess hypes Dave up because he needs a little bit of extra self-esteem. True. It's actually true.

And here we go. We've got a few. What do we got? He needs a little bit of extra self-esteem. True. It's actually true. And here we go. We've got a few. What do we got? Eight in today. So I'm on the door. I'm going to read out your name. Dave's going to hype you up.

Here we go. You ready, everyone? Yes, let's go. It's bloody triptych club time. First up, from Graz or Graz or how do you say it? Graz? In Austria, it's Thomas Doppelreiter. This night suddenly got Doppelreiter! Yes! It feels Doppelreiter.

From Sydney in God's country, the great state of Ohio, United States, it's Steve Kayser. Kayser the laser. Yeah! Pew pew pew! From Fort Collins in Colorado in the United States It's Dyrriny Clark Providing that spark, it's Dyrriny Clark

From Wellington in New Zealand It's Tim Anderson Well, well, Wellington If it isn't my old mate, Tim From Portsmouth in England It's Martin Cox Here we go In a good way.

But in a positive sense. From address unknown, can only assume, from the fortress of the moles, it's Brian Andrews. Try and... Can-drews. Can-drews. Have a can of this drink. Cheers to you, Bri. Ottawa in Ontario, Canada.

It's Micah or Mika. Micah. Let's get the mic on. Micah. And finally from Balmain in New South Wales, Australia. It's Steve Socky Sogloo. Socky Sogloo. This night was going to be pretty Socky Sogloo until Stephen arrived.

Dried up all the rain. Stephen Socky Sogloo. Yeah. It's a great name. Fantastic. Welcome into the rain. Stephen Sokiasoglu. Yeah, it's a great name. Fantastic. Welcome into the club, Stephen, Micah, Brian, Martin, Tim, Dhirani, Steve and Thomas. Legends. And that brings us to the end of the episode.

Jess, anything we need to tell people before we go? That we love you. You can suggest a topic and contact us at dogo1pod.com and also find us at dogo1pod.com and also find us at dogo1pod across all social media. Hey, thank you so much for joining us. We'll be back next week with another episode, but

until then, we'll say thank you so much and goodbye! Later! Bye! We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth.

Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.