Do Go On - 343 - The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands

Episode Date: May 18, 2022

In 2004, the Australian Government passed an amendment specifying that marriage was be defined as a "union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others". In protest to this, a group set up the Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands! This episode is about the Kingdom and Australia's Marriage Law Postal Survey.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Check out our new merch! : https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://web.archive.org/web/20161110134815/http://gaykingdom.info/https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/nancy/episodes/nancy-podcast-make-australia-gay-againhttps://www.thedailybeast.com/australias-lgbt-only-islandhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_and_Lesbian_Kingdom_of_the_Coral_Sea_Islandshttps://www.huffpost.com/archive/au/entry/an-lgbtq-micronation-declared-war-on-australia-in-2004-and-a-sen_a_21726219https://www.theguardian.com/australia-new1s/2017/dec/07/marriage-equality-law-passes-australias-parliament-in-landslide-vote Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Oh, and welcome to another episode of DoGo One. My name is Dave Warnigke, and as always, I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins.

Hello, Matt. Oh, hi, Jess. Didn't see this. So good to be here with you. Hello, David. Oh, hello. Are we not talking? Yeah, I just wanted to start a rift.

All right, well, Matt, can you tell Jess to piss off? Hey. From Dave. David said to piss off. What a funny reaction when you said to Dave. Hello, David. And he said, are we not talking? Oh, that's interesting too.

You literally just spoke to him. Yeah, but the way I spoke to him, heavily implied we were in a fight. Jess, can you tell Matt to piss off? Matt, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but David has said piss off. Oh, that's a bit rough. I know. Jess, can you tell David? Yes.

Please explain what this show is about. Absolutely, David. Matt has requested that you explain what this show is about. Okay, but only because you said it, not because of him. It's so confusing. What we do here is we're taking in terms of report on a topic, often, suggested by one of our listeners. we go away, do a bit of research, bring it back to the other two who have no idea what the report is going to be on. And it is Matt's turn.

Just tell Matt it's his turn to report on a topic. And he always starts, we always start with a question to get us on the topic. Matt, yes. It's your turn. We can't keep this up all day, can we? No, no, it's going to end after this. Okay. It's your turn.

Start with a question, please. All right, great. Can you tell Dave to grow up? Dave, grow up. That was from Matt. Okay. All right. Question is, which country's refusal to acknowledge same-sex marriage led to the creation of a micro-nation in 2004?

2004? Wow. Okay, so by 2004, we absolutely hadn't accepted it. So it's definitely not Australia. Okay, but is it Rome, and that's how the Vatican came about? They're often, they're very open with their ideas, aren't they? Very liberal. Yes.

No, it's not Rome. Okay. Well, I should have said Italy. Fuck. Idiot. You were you meaning the, whatever the, where the Pope is. What's that place called again? Vatican City.

I don't know. I'll ask you, which country's refusal to acknowledge same-sex marriage led to the creation of a micronation in 2004? So that doesn't rule out Australia. True. Because it is Australia. I'm like, geez, you've led yourselves down a bad track straight away. I'm going to stick with my answer of Rome.

So this was suggested by 10. Or Tes from Manchester in the UK. Great. T-E-S. Still Tess? Possibly, yeah. All right, so let's go back to the year 2004. Where were you in 2004?

2004. I was, oh, I was but an old man probably walking the earth. Yes. Walking the earth. Yeah. Dave, you're looking at your phone to figure out. Where I was in 2004. We were in year eight.

Oh, my phone, it says you're right. that you're looking at your calendar okay back to 2004 I was at uni for you know obviously as a mature age student I was three or four hundred years old you were doing your fourth or fifth degree

at that point insufferably putting your hand up for every question excuse me sorry I know you were trying to end this shoot early but I'd love to go back to a point you made earlier I was wondering you seem to have forgotten

about an assignment you'd assigned to us sorry I might be the only one here, but I actually want to learn. I know you, you've got theories on how the pyramids were built, but I was actually there. So let me tell you. Let me tell you a thing or two, kids. Anyhow, in the year 2000, Australian legislation didn't explicitly say that same-sex marriage was illegal.

According to this great website, I found, I think it's pronounced, wikipedia.org. And that's what, like, legal kind of documents? I think it is, yeah. A lot of jargon. Yeah, I think the w is short for wikers. wig like a barrister's wig. I think it was going to be Whigipedia, but that was taken. By wiggy pop.

Yeah, yeah. The Iggy Pop cover band. Yes. But they all wear wigs. But they all wear shere wigs. It's very confusing. So, according to Wikipedia.org, that was all about to change. That year, public attention increased with respect to same-sex marriage due to court decisions

in Massachusetts and Canada legalising same-sex marriage. Two Australian same-sex couples married in Canada in 2004 and lodged an application in the Family Court of Australia and Victoria seeking legal recognition of their Canadian marriages. Before the matter could be heard, the Howard government changed the law to prevent Australian recognition of same-sex marriages, rendering the court case moot.

Yeah, they saw it happening and they're like, oh, we better say it's explicitly between a man, and a woman. Isn't that mind-boggling? And it's so embarrassing that that was so recent. Yeah. That was, you know, just over 20 years ago. And I never heard of this.

So before that, no one had just ever asked the question. Is that right? Yeah, that's right. It didn't specifically say it. So people just assumed. Yeah, I guess so. Oh, wow. So before that, could you technically get married in a same-sex relationship?

I don't think it really, as I understand, it didn't really happen, but legally you could. Wow. And then a couple wanted to be recognised and then the whole law changed to fuck them over. They're like, oh, other places in the world are allowing this. And Australians are going over there to have these ceremonies. We better make sure they don't have those rights here. Crazy.

Yeah. In an attempt to prevent same-sex unions in Australia, the Howard government introduced the Marriage Amendment Act in the Parliament on the 27th of May 2004. The amendment specified that marriage, undefined in the Act, would be defined as a union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, and that foreign same-sex marriages would not be recognised as such in Australia. Additional reforms to the Family Law Act prevented same-sex couples from being eligible adoptive parents for children in inter-country adoption arrangements. The amendment passed the Parliament on the 13th of August 2004 and went into effect on the day it received Royal Ascent, the 16th. of August 2004.

And I think a part of this, I don't know if you went to any weddings between, for that following decade or so, but it was legally to marry someone they had to say a line like that. Yeah. Maybe even that line exactly. Between a union of a man and a woman to exclusion of all others.

Right. And often hear Salern say, legally, I have to acknowledge, I have to say that, yeah. Yeah. Because indicating that they're like, this is bullshit. I don't agree with this. Yes.

To make this wedding, this marriage legal, I have to say it. And I read about one celebrant who was a gay man who had to say that, you know, every weekend he was saying it. And he said there was one day he was just feeling a bit down. And he struggled to get the words out without breaking down. Luckily it was a day that the couple who was marrying was very supportive. And they sort of, you know, they made it. They hugged him and they made it. Okay, but yeah, he's just like, oh, it's brutal.

Of course it is. Basically say, and by the way, legally I'm not seen as equal. Yeah. And you're having to say that as part of your job. Yeah. So anyway, well, let's talk about the kingdom, the micro nation. Yes. That is set up in response to this.

It's very interesting. According to Nina Strotchlich, writing for The Daily Beast, When Australia refused to allow its gay citizens equal rights to marriage, a group of activists deserted the country, sailed 200 nautical miles to an island off the Great Barrier Reef and hoisted a rainbow flag in the highest spot they could find. They declared it the gay and lesbian kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands. The impetus came in 2004 during the Brisbane Gay Pride Festival when a collective of friends decided that without being granted legal marriage rights,

they would leave and start their own more inclusive country. According to the Kingdom's website, the group cited the law of unjust enrichment, which states, if something is unjustly taken, compensation must be made. The group were of the opinion that the change in the marriage law had taken from homosexual people the right to be treated equally, whether it be marriage, superannuation, hospital visits, adoption or IVF treatments. So yeah, there was like, and this sort of evolved over time, but back then I think not being able to be married meant they didn't really treat de facto relationships and other unmarried relationships

and didn't give those partners the same sort of rights. Yeah. You know, visiting hospital when one partner's sick and all these sort of things superannuation. It's, you're not married. So why would you want to visit someone else? Well, if you're not married to them. That's crazy. Why do you think I got this ring?

Now I can walk into any hospital I want. They go, oh, please. I'm here to see my wife. Oh, right this way. And I mean, yeah, I've been thinking about that quite recently, the sort of de facto thing as well. And it's actually, I found it kind of hard to find relevant information on what rights are in a de facto relationship as well. Anytime I've Googled it, it's just like in the event of a de facto relationship ending, here are your rights. And I'm like, yeah, sure, I mean, that's a good thing to know.

I was more meaning like if I'm in hospital, if I'm in an emergency, can he come see me? Yeah, I think it's now, actually, don't know this for sure, but I think now de facto relationships are a lot closer to, you may as well be married pretty much now. Is that right? Yeah, I think so. You can, like, register your relationship. Essentially, you get a piece of paper for it as well. I think essentially if there's, if something happens to your de facto partner, you just have to prove you're in a relationship. And that is literally just we've lived together for a couple of years. I think it's even six months. Is it? Or is it two years? If there are kids involved, it's like, you can live together less than a year. So one hard stand. You have a kid. Yep, de facto.

Yeah. So at least nine months. Your papers are stamped. Done. You get the tattoo. It's not going on. Yeah, it's very interesting. And it's crazy that it's, yeah, we're talking about something that's very, very recent.

Mm. And I'm glad there's been a big shift. But it's so crazy and quite embarrassing that not that long ago. Yeah. Of course, like, why would two women want to have children? What do you mean? Like, of course they can. Yeah.

But yeah, I think, I mean, I imagine they're, well, I think there's definitely things going on now that we're going to feel similarly about in 20 years time. Absolutely. Anyway, continuing on, instead of financial compensation, the activists chose territorial compensation by establishing an independent gay state on a scattering of tropical islands in the coral sea. I mean, they've picked a very good spot. Sounds amazing. Yeah. The capital on Cato Island, they called heaven. Yeah. Sounds like it.

As the island is so small, it doesn't have a dock, let alone an airport, but they set sail on their own boat dubbed the Gay Flower, a play on the Mayflower. That's good. Is that the, what do you call it, the Thanksgiving Day people in America? Yeah. They have another name. They've got like belt buckles on their hats.

The Pilgrims? Pilgrims, maybe, yeah. Is that right? Yeah. Anyway, sorry, Americans. We're talking to Australia. God. I mean, we can't even come up with their own pun boat names. They're all referencing American culture.

Yeah. But I did enjoy the gay flower. The gay flower's very good. I like that a lot. I reckon, because this was voted on. And Tess, who suggested it, had that written in the thing. So I put that in next to the, on the poll. This is how they suggested it.

And I think a few people went, gay flower. I have to vote for that. Yeah, that one's getting my vote. That's good stuff. Yeah. In June of 2004, the gay and lesbian kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands declared independence from Australia. According to the Kingdom's website,

the initiative for the founding of a gay kingdom was taken during the Brisbane Gay and Lesbian Pride Festival and the Coral Sea Islands seemed a perfect location because of a twist in international law that states, quote, oppressed people of overseas territories have a right to self-government and self-determination. For a long time, these islands were administered as an overseas territory of England,

but from the 60s they were administered from Australia by the Department of the Environment, sport and territories as an overseas external territory of the Commonwealth of Australia. Under the United... Yeah, so it's sort of... They reckon they sort of found a little loophole here.

Yeah, right. Under the United Nations and international law, external overseas territories of all governments have the legal right to self-government and self-determination. Okay. The Coral Sea Islands are internationally recognised by the government of Australia

and by all nations and by the United Nations as an external overseas territory. of Australia, and as Australia has passed into legislation homophobic laws that clearly discriminate against its homosexual people, the gay and lesbian activists presume that the full force of international law applies to the Kingdom's independence. This is all still from their website. Wow.

The activists also presume that neither England nor Australia has any rights to the Coral Sea Islands, because both governments are unable to provide to the gay government any recording of anyone formally proclaiming the Coral Sea Islands as part. of the British or Australian crown. Neither of the governments have replied to them or anything. Yeah, okay. So they're like, no reply. Okay.

Okay. Your son speaks volumes. This also comes from the official website. The gay and lesbian kingdom formerly raised the gay rainbow pride flag on Cato Island on the 14th of June 2004 and declared the territory an independent gay and lesbian state. A memorial plaque on the northeastern tip of Cato Island. Island commemorates this historic event and reads,

On the 14th day of June 2004, at this highest point in the coral sea, Emperor Dale Parker Anderson raised the gay rhombo flag. Emperor. And claimed the island of the coral sea in his name as homeland for the gay and lesbian peoples of the world. God save our king. So that's right. It's Emperor Dale.

Emperor Dale. Okay, if you're going to give yourself, I mean, you get to give yourself this title, right? Emperor, king, whatever. What do you go for? Or? Monarch of the Glen. Monarchs, I mean, yeah, I guess you can go.

Yeah, it's go vague. Yeah, that's good. I don't know if I want to be a queen. Almighty ruler. Yeah, that's good. That's good. You want to make sure people know you're above them. What about Emperor for Life?

Yeah, yeah. Emperor for Life. Turkmen Bashie. Yeah, okay. President. Oh, what about El Presente? That feels better. Yeah.

That feels better, actually. That's a punch up, isn't that? That's good. Yeah. That feels fun. Let me tell you a little bit about Emperor Dale. All right. I like Dale already.

When his appointment was announced, he told the Sydney Star Observer that he took the job because, quote, no one else would do it. According to the Kingdom's website, born in August, 1965, Dale Parker Anderson is the eldest of identical twins. I love that. But minutes. His early years were spent growing up in Outback Australia. His Majesty has featured on gay and lesbian.

radio and been profiled in numerous newspapers and magazines. Quiet and shy by nature, Dale lists his hobbies as gardening, music and travel. The kingdom's website talks up the heritage of Dale saying, The sovereign of the gay and lesbian kingdom, Dale Parker Anderson, is a direct descendant of the murdered gay king of England, Edward II, who was around 1284 to 1327. This makes the sovereign distantly related to all major royal houses of Europe. Yeah, I don't, had you heard of Edward the second?

I looked him up a little bit. No. And I think it seems like a long time ago, but it was very dramatic, a lot of infighting and family. I think his mum, I forget, I should have written it down. I read this a month ago. Something about his mum. But I think his mum's boyfriend had him oft or something like that.

It was something very scandalous. Jeez, Louise. But it does seem like, yeah, it seems like he was a gay. man. Yeah, I think they love how that all ties together. He sort of got royal blood, they believe. Yeah. And it's connected directly to the... And it's the gay one. Which is just funny.

The website goes on to say that one of Dale's more recent forefathers was William Purcell of the HMS Bounty. It was the first to visit and stay in the Coral Sea Islands in 1789. Thereby giving some kind of legitimacy to the claims of the gay and lesbian government. I love how that's on their own website. thereby giving some kind of legitimacy. Hey, we're looking into this. We think it sounds good. Someone he's related to has also been here.

By that token, I am the king of a caravan park in a chuka. I remember meeting my grandparents there once in the 90s. I don't know if you, did you think it was, it sort of seemed a bit weird to me that I went with kingdom. You know, it's sort of like a feel that's all about equality. So it feels like, well, or just, you know, maybe some sort of thing where there's no one ruler or it's, you know, or whatever. Like a society. Yeah, but every country that starts out thinking, no, we're going to be different.

We're just going to be, then eventually you've got to start enforcing some rules. And so then you get a government involved. Uh-oh. You know what I mean? Dale, shall we be worried about him? So let's just start with a monarchy or an emperor, you know? Exactly. Because.

Cut out all that faffing about. in the middle where it gets awkward. Yeah, no, no power vacuum. They assume that Dale wants the right to have children and also the right to pass on his power to his children. Yeah. I really just think he just was like, for no one else will do it.

I'll do it. I'll do it. So there's a reason they set the islands up as a kingdom rather than a republic or anything else. According to the kingdom's own website, which says Dale was originally voted in as the administrator of the gay and lesbian government. But upon legal advice, his title was changed to that of sovereign on the grounds that under Australian law,

a de facto prince trying to claim his crown cannot be charged with treason. This law goes further and states in fact that anyone hindering a de facto prince or his supporters from obtaining his crown can themselves be charged with treason. To date, this law has predicted the gay sovereign and members of his government from Australian law and its legal system in courts. Had a republic model of government been chosen, all the gay and lesbian activists could have been charged with treason and being brought before the Australian courts. That's a good on their website.

I should say I have no idea how legit any of that legal stuff is. I don't fully understand treason. Yeah, sort of is like it, what is it, an act against your own country? Your own country. Yeah. So then by... You're like, basically it's dogging the boys. Don't dog the boys.

Only the boys is your country. So, but then by making them a sovereign, how can I possibly dog the boys? Because I'm the top boy. Yeah. of a different group of boys. Yeah, in your laws, you can't come at me. I'm just claiming my crown. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's all very complicated, isn't it? It really sounds like this group of friends had some lawyers in amongst it. Yes, well, it became, I don't really go into it because, I mean, it's one of those ones that there's, all, the information is slightly hard to find about it. But it sounds like there was a lot of work going on behind the scenes, and it was an international thing. There were people involved from all around the world and they, yeah, they ended up being infighting and all sorts of things that I couldn't really get to the bottom of. There's another podcast I listened to, which is more of an investigative sort of thing,

and I'll link to that in the show notes. But I really enjoyed that. They were trying to track Dale down. Yeah, right. And they, yeah, they, you know, it was a fun, fun pod to listen to. but anyway, let's forge on. So the rainbow flag became the kingdom's official flag. And for the coat of arms, I went with the pink triangle, which is my favorite shape. Triangle. Love the triangles.

For the National Anthem, I've seen two different ones stated, but more commonly I see Gloria Gaynor's, that's what I am, according to their website. And I assume you can trust it. their website. But I think maybe it got changed at one point, but according to their website, this song was written by Jerry Herman, a long-time public gay male, who was made a lord of the gay

kingdom because the gay and lesbian government is most honored to have this song as the kingdom's official national anthem. That's nice. They wrote a declaration of independence. Yes. Of course. Which includes a big chunk from the US version, including a famous bit, we hold these truths to be self-evident that all man are created equal.

It's funny that they left it a member, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights. Among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It's like play drives a bit of the US fun. Well, I mean like the US obviously perfected it. Yes. And what are you going to do? Try and perfect perfection.

Yeah. Get your head out of your eyes, mate. Come on, man. Come on, mate. Let's not take the piss. It also reads, quote, In countries where we have lived for centuries, we are still cried down as strangers.

In the world as it is now, and for an indefinite period, I think we shall not be left in peace. And we have appealed to the Australian Parliament, and they too have been deaf to the voice of justice and consanguinity. Nailed it. Thank you.

We must therefore, in the necessity which denounces our separation and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, enemies in war, in peace, friends. We therefore, as representatives of the homosexual people in general Congress, assembled appealing to the supreme judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions,

do the same, in the name, and by the authority of the good gay people of the Coral Sea Islands, and in the name of our Dale, our emperor. In the name of our Dale. Oh, our Dale, he's a good boy. He's a good boy, our Dale. in the name of our Dale

solemnly publish and declare that the gay and lesbian kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands are one and of right ought to be free and independent that is now absolved from all allegiances to the Australian crown and that all political connections between them and Australia

is and ought to be totally dissolved and that as free and independent we have full power to levy war conclude peace contract alliances established commerce and to do all other acts and things which independent kingdom may have right do.

I like that bit of the end. And even else. There's a few specifics, but you know. You know, I can also go to the shops. Yeah. If I've forgotten anything, that's covered. Yeah. I can also, I can build a fish and chip shop here.

Yaddy, yada. Yeah. I don't, I don't understand so much of that legal jargon. I wasn't sure if, yeah, reading it out, I'm like, I've probably put left too much of this in, but it's, you know, I just sort of like they really, you know, they put it all out there. It's all, they spent a bit of time on it. They've done all the right things to sort of cover their asses.

Yeah, to be like, well, Australia, we've done everything we need to do to, um, so, to sever ties. Yeah, so, nice knowing, yeah. Oh, a bit of a, a bit of a brutal breakup, hey. Yeah. Australia really ghosting you. Yeah. Oof.

Yes, no real replies or anything. Okay, fine. Well, I've said everything I need to say and, um. Yeah, we'll leave that with you. All's in your court. I guess that's it. Do you have anything to say, you know where to find me on my island? So.

According to Struchlick, the capital Heaven appears to just be a pristine beach with a sign saying, welcome to heaven. Makes sense. It offers snorkeling and camping, but as there is no actual population or infrastructure on the island, no one actually lives there. It's sort of, it's really like just an elaborate protest. So people have been there. They go that they've set things up, but they're still living in Australia or wherever they're from,

communicating via the internet. But they, yeah, they, I think the website is really the key to it all. Yep. And it is really just all in protest against the lack of marriage equality in Australia. Yeah. So, yeah, the island offers snorkeling and camping, but there's no actual population or infrastructure on the island, so visitors must charter flights and bring their own supplies.

The website notes that gay and lesbian visitors will be thrilled to learn that much of the sea life is transsexual. The Kingdom's sole industry is stamp collecting, which is described on the website as an activity to satisfy both... The Kingdom's sole industry is stamp collecting, which is described on the website as an activity to satisfy both the most avid enthusiast and the casual or thematic collector. And the island offers a shiny red mailbox on the Capitals Beach

with which to use these stamps. Oh, that's cute. Yeah, it's cute. What's the chat or a flight? A post he has to turn up and pick him up? Yeah, I guess so. Maybe they might do it themselves, take it back to Australia and put it in another. Does Australia Post have a little dingy?

Yeah, it's quite the big root. Big root. Big root. What would you know about that day? You would know about Big root. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. Big banana?

Big root. On the 13th of September 2004, the Gay Kingdom declared. led war on the Commonwealth of Australia. Oh. They did so by sending a declaration of war directly to the office of then Prime Minister John Howard, as well as via Switzerland. So they're like, in case Australia didn't get it, we're sending it through a neutral country as well. Yeah.

So just letting everyone know we are at war with Australia. Essentially what we did at the start of the podcast. Hey, Switzerland, can you let Australia know? Yeah. We're at war with them. Yeah. Australia never officially responded. Of course I didn't.

Ghosting again. Yeah. So immature. Dogs. Fucking hell, John Howard. Though years later, liberal Tasmanian senator Erica Betts mentioned it in Parliament. Abetz, who's like a particularly conservative member of the Liberal Party, mentioned it when complaining about a rainbow flag being flown inside the Department of Finance building.

In a 2017 Senate Estimates hearing, Abetz said, quote, I'll try and do a bit of an abets here. To cut to the chase, there was a rainbow flag on display in the lobby, which, believe it or not, some people see as an activist flag for a particular cause in relation to an issue of whether or not we should change the legislation on marriage. And some people, of course, support that. Others don't. Shut up. Wild, yeah.

Oh, God, a flag. And it's all these lovely colours. It's so bright. Oh. He was saying if we're going to fly this one, we really should fly the anti-marriage equality flag. You have photo of Erica Betts on the flag. Yeah. Oh, God, some people have put a colourful bit of fabric up.

I'm angry. Shut up. Well, he apparently tried to get it a bit more humorous when he continued. Oh, this would be good. Saying, by way of some slight humour on this issue, this particular flag you will realise. is the flag of the gay and lesbian kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands. The declared war on Australia, and you Senator Corman, would understand they did the same as Prince Leonard of the Hutt River Province,

and now this is their official flag. Of course, it is the flag of a hostile nation, if we are to believe them, having declared war on Australia. What are you talking about? But, funnily enough, just by him trying to, like, he's sort of making light of what they were doing but he also said this officially sort of was that are officially recognizing in parliament that it had happened so it's now on the record but i love that that man has never said anything that he finds funny without qualifying it at first by saying i'm about to say

something humorous because no one never gets my jokes and that's an everybody else problem yeah i know he seems to get these it's such a like he didn't he didn't really over promise either by way of some slight humor yeah that's good actually. Really set the tone. According to Josh Butler writing for the Huffington Post, finance minister Matthias Corman, I think because I think Coleman is, he think he's Western Australian. So that's why Abetz said that he would know about the Senate of the Hutt River province, which I believe, Bopper, you, is that the one you did a bonus episode about?

Yeah, that's right. It was a bonus, wasn't it? I was trying to think was that a main, that was a bonus episode, yeah. the Hutt River province. Yeah, I think I was thinking about this, is this the third micro-nation we've done? Sealand, Hutt River. Have we done any others? Not that I can think of.

Yeah, because there are a lot out there. I find them fascinating. I've never heard of them before. I guess they were really my thing until now. Oh, you did Sealand as well? Yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, I did.

Yes. Go up, I'm sorry. I've stolen your thing. No, it's okay. It's all right. It's fine. First you take serial killers from me, and now you take a micronetlander.

Do you want zero killers back? No. I'm going to just start doing a bunch of monkey stuff and see. Well, remember when you did it, you did do an orangutan episode. That was a bonus too, wasn't it? Yeah. And you were very mad at me for it. And you are now reaping my revenge, a dish best served cold.

Huh? Huh? Lap it up. It hurts, yeah. I've learnt my way. I've learnt my way, learned my lesson. I love your way. I love your way.

Oh, baby, I love your way Every day I think I was thinking Powder finger But that's probably better I was thinking the TV show Oh, I love your way On fire

With the impressions on this episode I'm so clung it We've got Erica Betts And Bernard Fanny What would it sound like If they had a conversation I just want to wish you well That sounds a bit gay

Eric you piece of shit So according to Josh Butler writing for the Huffington Post, finance minister, Matthias Corman, as tongue in cheek as a bets was. I'm glad Josh Butler saw that they were joking around because it's not clear on the page. Like, as I read it in a different article and I didn't realize there were any jokes, I thought they're in a serious conversation. Yeah, none of this seems funny. So then when I read this Huffington Post article, I'm like, all right, I guess I'll take Josh's word for it.

But Corman replied that he would conduct a flag inquiry, saying it's certainly not the government's intentions in any of our official buildings to fly the flag of hostile nations. We'll make sure there are no flags of hostile nations anywhere in any government building. I'm wondering if he was just sort of like going on. All right, Eric. Yeah, all right, man.

Yeah, well, that's how I read it initially. But it's possible that they were both having a very funny conversation together. Far out. Imagine living your life being that dull. And like, that's the funniest conversation you have in your day and you're angered by a flag. Yeah, imagine. Imagine. What a life that must be.

I think they've both got German heritage, right? Maybe is Coleman from Germany? He's from Belgium. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Who are you apologising to? Belgium? I don't know.

Yeah, we're just anyone concerned. Their flags have similar colours. Okay? I think one's horizontal, one's vertical. I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. Apologise. He's sorry, guys.

I'm sorry. Is there anything more I need to say? I'm not sure who he's sorry to or four. Belgium born. Right, Belgium. I was thinking maybe it was like some sort of German humor they were doing to each other. Yeah, right. right that we just didn't get.

Yeah, but now I don't know. And Erica Betz, maybe he's Belgium. But I thought, isn't his uncle a Nazi or something? Am I remembering that right, allegedly? All right, let me just, just in case I'll Google Erica Betz Nazi. Oh, Erica Betz, born in Stuttgart, Germany. I didn't know this. And I'm not saying that just because he is German.

No. This is from this website, Wikipedia.org, which we're talking about sort of a legal. It says Erica Betts' great uncle Otto, a bit of. was a Nazi SS officer, German ambassador to Vichy France and a convicted war criminal. Eric's grandfather was Carla Betz, a professor of forestry science

who joined the Nazi party in 1933 and became general consultant of the Reich Forestry officer in 1942. Anyway, fuck, that's grim. So, let's get to some slightly more positive stuff. Yeah, let's lift the mood. Well, actually, there's... No, let's lift the mood.

Well, you do a bit of work here then. All right. Since 2004, there were 22 unsuccessful attempts in the Australian federal parliament to legalise or recognize same-sex marriage under federal law. So people were having a crack. There were politicians who were trying to make it happen. But it was usually coming from, it was private member bills, minor parties. Read that sentence again? Since 2004, there were 22 unsuccessful attempts in the Australian federal parliament to legalize or recognize same-sex marriage under four.

under federal law. So it says, well, it says the thing I wrote, there were also pushes in state and, I say. There were also pushes in state and territory parliaments, including the ACT, Australian Capital Territory,

where a law legalizing marriage equality was passed, but it was overturned in the High Court. What? The High Court unanimously struck the act down in its entirety on the basis that it was in conflict with the Federal Marriage Act that Howard brought in 2004.

So it was, it was so ironclad the Howard's legislation that states and territories couldn't overrule it with their own. Wow. So even though the ACT wanted to, you know, they were voted in, I believe, with a mandate to do it. It was a popular decision. I mean, this is like, for as long as I remember,

the polls always showed that majority of Australians were in favour of marriage equality. Yeah. So that's the other wild thing about it. That no one, like the political will somehow, It took so long for it to get to the point where what seemed like the public's will was passed. Yeah. Yeah, and yeah, it's just brutal.

So the ACT is like, if it can't happen elsewhere, it can happen here. Yeah, and they're like... At least couples could travel to the ACT and get married. Nah. According to Wikipedia or Wikipedia, I forget, Wikipedia or Wikipedia, either way. No, Wikipedia. Wikipedia is the wigipop. Oh, that's right.

The Iggy Pop cover band. The Iggy Pop and the Stooges cover band that wear wigs. Wigip and the Woojus. So I go on a Wikipedia.org. The liberal national government went to the 2016 federal election with a policy to put the issue of same-sex marriage to a plebiscite and was narrowly re-elected. Though the legislation to establish the plebiscite was rejected by the Australian Senate in November 2016 and again in August 2017.

I think other sides are saying it's not necessary. We can just do a vote on it now. Yeah. But that was their promise. So they, you know, that was a sort of a tight spot. But even just getting that point, they were like, well, that was their, I think that was sort of a tactic by the liberal national coalition to be like, just sort of kicking it down the road a bit.

If you elect us, we'll have a vote on it. Yeah. Yeah. Should we explain what a plebiscite is before? the plebiscite that we all did, I think a lot of people had never heard of that. I was just thinking then, I was like, I know what it was,

but I could not give you a definition of what a plebiscite is. As I understand it, because I mean, I did politics in high school. Of course, thank God you're here. I believe it's, so you've either got a referendum and that is legally binding.

Yep. But I think a plebiscite is like, oh, let me check. Yeah. This is from an Australian government website. In Australia, a plebiscite, also known as an advisory referendum, is used to decide a national question that does not affect the Constitution. So to change the Australian Constitution, you have to have a referendum.

Right. So when we tried to become a republic, that would affect the Constitution. That was a referendum, which lost. I know you're devastated about it. You cannot wait to get away from that pesky queen. And they often do fail because people hate change in a lot of ways. Yeah. But then, and it's also hard because it has to pass, it has to get the majority of votes

in a majority of states. Wow. Okay. So it's not enough to even just be like 51%. It also has to be. The majority in every state. You know, four states also have to have, the majority of states have to have a majority. Wow.

As well as an overall majority. Okay. I think that's an old memory, but I think that's right. Holy shit. That's very complicated. So, yes. So a plebiscite can be used to test whether the government has enough public support to go ahead with a proposed action. But it's not not legally binding and it can't change the constitution.

So it's essentially the plebiscite is a vibe check. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. What do you guys reckon? Oh, you think we think we should allow go merch? Okay, it's interesting. I didn't see that coming. Hmm.

That's very interesting. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I guess we can agree to disagree. I'm not changing anything. So. And so that to have a plebiscite, it has to go through Parliament, but it was rejected. I think the opposition and minor parties are saying it's not necessary. I think that's what happened.

As in they were saying it's not necessary, we know what the people think, just make it a referendum. It's a waste of money and it'll drag. You know, it's bad for mental health and you don't do popular votes for people's rights. Totally, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's how I'm remembering it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like, do you guys want free ice cream on Fridays?

Yes or no. It's something that is really impacting. Should we quickly get around the room, though? That's also a yes for me. Okay, we've got two, but the majority of states, Matt, are you free ice cream on Fridays? No, I think our money could be better spent. Oh, you piece of shit.

You piece of shit. On gelato. Yeah, all right. He got us. Move an amendment to say, and or gelato. And all frozen yogurt, whatever you want. Okay, fantastic. Cold treats.

Can we say? Cold treats. Lactose free options. Any kind of sweet treat. Unless you don't like sweet, that is savory. Treats on Fridays. I think it's important that the treat has a slushy-like consistency. I think the treat has to have the ability to inflict a brain freeze.

Yes, I think that is important. All in favour. But I don't really like ice cream. I'd prefer like a cheese board or something a bit more. But it has to be very cold. Okay. You may have a cheese cake board and nothing else. That's good.

So they kept trying to get it at the plebiscite through. They couldn't do it. The vibe check. Instead, they went to their next option down, which they didn't need parliamentary support on, which was a voluntary postal survey, and that's what the government conducted, cost about 100 grand.

People are also, you know, people opposing were also like, it's a waste of money. We know the answer. Yeah. There's no positives to come of this. Like, guys, do a Facebook poll. You know what I mean? Like, we'll get the answer.

Just just call in with your opinion. We'll take a few calls. Yeah, so far, I've had three for yes. You're talking to Tony. Go for Tony. Go for Tony. Go for Malcolm. Just give out Malcolm's phone number and everybody can just text in yes or no.

Yeah. How hard's that? Yeah. Doc's the Prime Minister. Then everyone just pays for their own text. Yeah. And nearly no one pays per text anymore, do they? No, not these days.

Unless you're unpaid and then what are you doing? You know what I mean? Get on a plan. Come on. Come on. Join us in the future. So that... I was definitely still on prepaid in 2004.

They conducted a voluntary survey between the 12th of September and the 7th of November, 2017, ascertaining the views of Australians on legislating for same-sex marriage. According to an article written in The Guardian at the time by Paul Karp, the move was controversial, with LGBTI groups subjecting to a human rights question, equality before the law being decided by popular vote, which is sort of what I was referring to before. In a bruising three-month campaign, opponents of marriage equality claim same-sex marriage

would have far-reaching negative consequences for gender education and claimed it would harm religious freedom and freedom of speech. In arguing for the plebiscite and a lot of it, like there was a lot of nasty stuff. Oh, yeah. Going on real gross campaigns by pamphlets and all these sort of things. and online, yeah. In arguing for the plebiscite,

the government said it could be a unifying moment for the country. Senator Penny Wong told Parliament that the same-sex marriage debate was exposing families to hatred. Quote, have a read of some of the things which are said about us and our families and then come back here and tell us this is a unifying moment, she said. Same-sex marriage advocates warned the postal survey on marriage equality would damage mental health. and according to the ABC, research published in 2019 confirmed those fears were valid. The ABC article quotes activist Sally Rugg is saying,

The LGBTI community and our friends beg the government not to put us through this process because we knew that people would be traumatized. We knew that we would see these terrible outcomes in terms of mental health and the 2019 study backed that view. Leading up to the postal vote, the gay and lesbian kingdom's website added a link to point view to the website of the Equality campaign, the organisation

which called on Australian voters to participate in the Australian Marriage Law Postal Survey, in which a yes vote would likely prompt the Parliament of Australia to enact same-sex marriage. It's another thing people who were like, what's the point of this? Because they didn't even

it wasn't legally binding, even if it was even if it came back yes. Even it was 100% yes. They didn't have to. I mean it would be political suicide, you think. Absolutely. But it wasn't a binding thing. Yeah.

So they're like, well, they'll probably do what it says. But there was nerves about, you know, the particularly anti-marriage equality people in the government would look at any little thing. If it was close or if certain states said no. Yeah. Then, oh, we can't vote for it because, you know. Yep. So there were all these fears coming into it. But then on the 15th of November, it was announced that 60,1.

1.6% of respondents voted in favour of same-sex marriage. So it was an overwhelming response in favour of marriage equality. And that was all... From memory, was it... I think it was all states also. It's going back a little while, but yeah, I think so. Talk to Dave for a second when I look it up. How are you?

Good. What did you vote? I voted yes. Oh. What did you vote? Yes. Yay. Yeah.

Allies. It was the... literally the easiest way to support people. I tick the box. Yeah, a wild time. I remember being a bit disappointed, like finding it kind of a bit frustrating that it was only 61.

Yes. Do you remember that I was like, really? 61, okay. Yeah, it's like that is a majority, but... It feels like it should have been a bigger majority in 2017. Yeah, state by state. New South Wales had the smallest percentage of yes vote and that was 57.8.

So every state was a clear majority. Great. ACT, 74%. Yep. I had 74 or like, you know, low 70s in my head for the overall thing, but it was 61, which is interesting. Yeah. Victoria was 64. Okay.

That's where I got the 4 from. You know, it was pretty like kind of consistent in every single state territory. So it was sort of like, no, if you're in parliament representing the Australian people, people, it's hard to argue. Yeah. So, once that was announced, the kingdom was dissolved on the 17th of November, 2017, and they saw their job was done. Yeah.

And then Homer said, but you didn't do anything. And then Spock. Then Spock says, did not. Or something like that. A law legalizing same-sex marriage was finally passed in the parliament on the 7th of December, 2017 and received royal assent the following day, becoming the 25th country to recognize same-sex marriage. Feels like we'd like to think of ourselves as being a bit better than that. Yeah, absolutely.

We were so slow. It was strange how slow we were to make it happen. I guess what is that? 14 years after Canada. Yeah, yeah. And Canada wasn't, was Canada first? Oh, the Netherlands. I thought something in my mind.

They were the first in 2001. Yeah, right. Netherlands, yeah, they think they're... 2001 and it took us until 2017. Bloody hell. But it was a yes. Yes, it was a yes. In the end, we got there in the end.

Finally. According to carp, the lower house passed marriage equality with almost all members of the governing liberal national coalition joining Labor, the Greens and cross-bench MPs in a free vote to pass the bill, which cleared the Senate without amendment. The only no votes were coalition MPs, Russell Broadbent, Keith Pitt, David Little Proud. still a, he's a member, he's like a...

He's the Deputy Nationals. Yeah. Leader. And independent MP, Bob Catter. So what a, what a wild list of people, you know, like to be like, hey, you'll be remembered for being on the wrong side of history there. Yeah. Bob Cato, people from outside of a show, I don't know.

He, uh, what, the great, um, it was about marriage equality. He's one of his most famous clips. He was in a press conference. And... Well, and a thousand blossoms blooms. Someone asked about marriage equality, he said, he said, well, you know, everyone is allowed to have their sexual proclivity. Yeah, my thousand blossoms bloom.

But I ain't spending a lot of time on it. Because every month, a man is torn apart by a crocodile in the Northern Territory. She's not true. Oh, man, your third great impression of the episode, that's great. We've found your niche. You've got to see it because the gear change is so sudden. It's terrifyingly quick. Let a thousand blossoms bloom.

I'd spend it any more time on it. There's a Twitter account, I can't remember what it's called, but it's something like bat-shit moments in Australian politics. And there's amazingly a lot of things to post. The one of Tony Abbott just staring blankly at a journalist. I think it's so long. Tony, you're not saying anything. Yeah.

Or when he ate the onion with the skin on, raw onion. He's such a psycho. So many strange moments. Disgusting. Anyway, what are we talking about? Oh, yeah. Talk about the leaders of our country. That's what we're talking about.

Yes, and the five no votes. Yeah, so in the end, it was pretty much everyone apart from the far right. Yeah. And even like, I mean, there are a few classic far right people who are not listed there. Yeah. The Speaker of the House of Representative Tony Smith Tony Smith declared the vote carried since few than five MPs opposed it triggering a standing ovation

from the parliamentarians and public gallery. Some broke into a rendition of the chorus of one of the country's many unofficial anthems. I am, you are, we are Australian. That's right. I forgot that. I don't know. I'm torn between that being nice and being really cringy. I think at the time, I think I remember seeing that at the time and being like, that's nice.

Okay, great. It was just a nice sort of, I think if it was really planned, it would be pretty cringy, but I think it's just one of those moments where it just sort of happens fairly organically and it's just a moment of unity. I think it was nice. I think if I watched it now, I'd be like, but it was sweet at the time. Imagine trying to get it going and no one joined in. We are one.

No, no. But we are men, nothing to me. We are one. We are one. And from all. Come on, please. The lands are one. Earth, we come.

All right, I'm giving up. We share a dream. The Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull told the House that, quote, Australia has done it. Every Australian had their say, and they said, it's fair, get on with it. We've voted today for equality for love. It's time for more marriages, more commitment, more love, more respect,

he said. This is Australia, fair, diverse, loving and filled with respect, which is possibly a bit rich after putting, that's right and then he still claims like you know because he's since been voted out and lost his leadership of the party

but he's like well when I was in charge I got gay marriage through so like sort of showing that off like mate you didn't really help the cause for a long time yeah it did yeah he was wasn't you no yeah he did seem like

he won one of those politicians that um promised a lot but but then uh in the post political career being like if I was in charge this is what I do ex-prime minister has done that

always and it's like you had the power you had the majority you could have got anything through if you wanted to it's like oh that's right you talk the talk before you get in

and then after you're not in anymore yeah just afraid of your own party or just holding on the power or whatever you know whatever I mean I agree it's a tough job I don't want it I don't want the job I don't want the job thank you very much

I'd get kicked out Immediately. I'd be making some big old changes. We're not voting on shit. I'd go dictator. That's what I'd do. Friday ice cream. Friday ice cream. Yeah, but I'd be a fun dictator. I'd fix that wage gap. Let me tell you that. Fix that straight up. Yeah. Budget shmudge it. For the signing of a pencil.

Done. Sordid. Jason Tuazahn McShane and his husband, Adrian were married. in Canada in 2004. One of those couples that got married in Canada and the Howard government's fear of them coming back with these marriages and... Yeah, what a threat. What a threat they would be.

So, you know, it was one of the people who kind of brought this on in the first place. He called the Postal Survey rubbish and unnecessarily painful but said he loved the fact that the Australian people had rejected fear campaigns that had questioned the legitimacy of LGBTI people and our families.

I love the fact that Australian people turned it on its head and forced the Parliament to pass legislation without amendments. 62% was an overwhelming win in a vote design to maximise the no vote. I think for a lot of people as well, maybe. I don't know, I feel like a lot of people sort of, it sparked conversations they probably hadn't had with family members and stuff before. Not always for the better, of course. And then that's part of that mental health side of things for people in the community,

is hearing people around you, you know, discuss your rights and that has no impact on them. But I remember my parents were overseas and it arrived and I was collecting their mail and I was like and how did you want me to vote for you?

And mum's like, yes, of course, what are you talking about? I was like, oh thank God. Poor, that is good news. Yes, it's... I mean, I knew, but you know, you just want valid out, you want confirmation. So finally about Twazan McShane he was preparing to cry with relief

when the result was sealed. So I thought I'd sort of finish with some of his thoughts because it was, you know, the sort of balance between it was awful, but also the beautiful side of it, which is, I know, it's easy to say when I, you know, you're not going through that side. But yeah, the benefit, the negatives outweighed the positives, I think, for that process. It should have just been past everyone. Like, it was so clear for so long. But there is, like you say, there were conversations that might not have had otherwise.

Yeah. Good and bad. And now no one since argued. that it should be turned back. Yeah. Because it's like... I can't imagine. Maybe there'd still be politicians who'd be campaigning.

But how do they go? The vote was wrong. They can't say that. Whereas if it was just politicians, they're like politicians made the decision, not the Australian people. Yeah. Maybe. I mean, I don't know.

I'm looking for civil findings, I guess. Yeah. I'll finish with one final, what I think is a fun fact. I'll decide. Okay. So the kingdom, they went. away and they let their domain name lapse and gay kingdom.com info is now a porn site. So I had to access it on like a way back machine thing. It's been, you know, just kept for

posterity. It's like it's been archived kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. How cool. I didn't know that. That's nice. That's nice. Yeah. And that is my report on the gay and lesbian kingdom of the Coral CIs. No, I'd, I'd, oh, no, I would have, I'm sure I'd check it. to verify that. Fun fact. And that other podcasts I was mentioned before, if people want to hear more about it, it is called Nancy is the name of the show.

And it is episode. And the episode is called Make Australia Gay Again. That's nice. Yeah. Yeah, do you remember like people sort of rushing to be the first to get married? couples that had been together for like decades and

getting married like it was what November or something and they're like December weddings let's do you're like straight away I think they had to wait till February like there's some law that you've got to say I want to get married yeah it's intention to win or something

isn't it yeah I guess it's to stop that sort of Vegas style wedding spirit of the moment drunk weddings but it did mean I can't remember if I mentioned this but anyone who was married overseas they became instantly legal.

That's so nice. Yeah. Yeah, cool. But yeah, I remember there being a lot of news stories at the time of sort of the first, the first same-sex marriages. Yeah. It was always lovely. It was so nice.

And the guy, I remember I said that celebrant who, he was crushed every time. He was interviewed afterwards and he said it was just so nice and he got married as well. Yes. And they don't have to say it now, do they? Don't have to say it, no. And he just, yeah. There's not that, there's not actually that much that legally has to be said, is there? No, our salarant just sent us through her.

And in red was the things you have to say in it's about three sentences or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for it to be, you know, official and legal. You have to say, this groom is looking hot. Hottie! Am I right? Whoop, whoop, get at least three high fives on that. And then, yeah, we're done. So they don't have to say something like between a human and a human? Because one of the, what are the,

Anti-marriage equality, you'd see arguments like, what's next, beastiality? Yeah, what's next? No. No. How have you got there? Whoa. Whoa. Why are you already thinking about that? Are you asking, like, because you're angry about it or you're hoping that's next?

Yeah, what's next? Yeah, what's next to beaicality? Because I love my dog. I love my dog so much. I've got such a handsome doggy. I'll be able to marry this table, this beautiful, sexy table. Is that what's next? This beautiful sexy table.

It's been there for me through thick and thin. This table is my best. best friend. Yeah, will I have to marry it? Will I? Can I? Can I? Can I?

Can I? Yeah, those are pretty ridiculous and very funny arguments. And did Emperor Dale, we don't know what happened to our former monarch? He sort of, you know, he just went on with his life. But if you want to hear about the hunt for him, listen to that episode of Nancy, it's... Sounds great. It's kind of, it's like, it's a WNYC studio. It got a bit of a vibe like one of those, what's that America show, that famous podcast,

something in America. That's got America in the name. This American Life. This American Life. Yeah, that kind of a reply all or, you know, one of those kind of podcasts that sounds like has a real budget behind it. Oh, wow. They're probably a team putting it together. Yeah, and they read out a name of 3,000 producers.

And it starts with a conversation that feels like it's probably staged where someone's bringing up a topic. Hey, you know what, have you ever wondered? Actually, I have. Oh my God, I have. How did they know? Well, luckily, we spoke to a reporter, Jenny Bulg, went out on the seat. Jenny Boog. Jenny Boog.

Look her up. Good work. Jenny Boal. You want to pull this prize. You didn't ask who I voted for. What did you vote for? I prefer not to say. It's a very personal question, Bob.

Sorry, sorry for asking when you asked me to ask. Yeah, a bit weird that you... But sorry, that's fair enough. I didn't mean to pry. It is a bit rude to ask who you voted for. So now it's time for everyone's favourite section of the show where we get to thank some of our fantastic supporters who make this show possible.

If you want to join up and support us, you can do so at dogoonpod.com or patreon.com slash dogo on pod. And Dave, what kind of rewards can people get for subscribing? Well, you'll be the first to hear about live shows. You know, also you can get discount tickets. You can be part of the Facebook group. which is a very lovely part of the internet.

The only place I ever post sincerely, I think, online. So true. If I ever have a thought that I'm like, oh, this nice thing happened, that'll be the people I tell. Whereas I feel like it's hard to tweet stuff like that. It just feels... Here's a nice flower I saw. It's like, what the fuck is this supposed to mean? I've seen nicer.

Yeah. Okay. You can also vote for topics so you literally can choose what we talk about on the show. Yeah. Which is, I believe, what happened this week. That's right. Yeah. Very, very good.

Also three bonus episodes a month that no one hears, which is a lot of fun. Those episodes, often very loose. No one hears. No one hears. No one hears. We record and put them in the bin. But you know, actually, I take the SD card out. I throw that in the bin.

We are broke. I keep having to buy SD cards. Yeah, but you know that we did it. So that's, yeah. And also, you know that you're helping keeping the show going. Maybe that's a reward for someone. It's a reward in itself. So the first thing we like to do is thanks some people on the Sydney-Sharnberg level

in a section we like to call Fact-quote or question, which has a little jingle go something like this. Fact-word or question. Bing! Oh, he always remembers the ding! And the way this works is people on the Sydney-Shaunberg level give us a fact-a-quot or a question or a brag-or-sug or whatever they like, really. They also get to give themselves a title,

and then I read them out for the first time on the show. Here we go. This one comes from David Loring, aka no quitter submitter of the FQQ form. And David offers a suggestion, which we don't get all that often, writing, on my last submission,

I use the word nifty, and that seemed to garner a positive response. Are you just going to have a stab now at other words that we might enjoy hearing? I really hope so. So in the interest of expanding vocabularies, I thought I'd suggest. suggest three other words that I find pretty enjoyable.

Enjoyable. Enjoyable. One of them enjoyable. Vocabularies is in the same category to me as February. Yeah. Vocabary. Yeah. Okay.

Oh, I like this. Looking at it, there are phonetic spellings. Oh, I love that. Nice and easy for Maddie. Ebullient. Ebullient. Ebullient. Chearful, bright, happy, energetic.

Ebullient. Discompobulated Yeah, great word Being in a state of profound confusion or disorder Yep Discombobulated Love it Calipigian

Oh Having pleasantly shaped buttocks Calipigian Okay, none of us Oh come on All right square ass Give us a fucking go You wish your ass

Look this square Hope you enjoyed If these are a hit I have more to offer If they're not I shall hide in shame No keep them coming That was delightful.

Honestly, David, you've made me feel abulient. Oh, yeah. Certainly not at all, discombobulated. And I remain calipidgen. Thank you very much, David. Great one. Next one comes from Ben Johnson. And Ben Johnson's, without reading it,

I reckon the last few have all been a tax it, Dave, for not doing a book cheat on the short history of everything. I mean, it's already a summary. I'd be summarising a summary, Ben. I've been thinking about this, a short history of the universe. Anyway, please. Ben's given itself the title of 1988, Olympic 100 metre gold medalist for Canada,

later disqualified for doping. Oh, right. Yeah, so he's going through some, that's a famous Ben Johnson. Oh, that's good. Another famous Ben Johnson. Of course, that's very good. Ben has got a quote, which is.

Archaeologists recently discovered Shakespeare chewed his pencils. Apparently one pencil was so chewed, they couldn't tell if it was to be or not to be. That's a Le Mac quote. That's quite good. That's very good stuff. That's good stuff. David loved that. You did.

Sorry, I got a little defensive there. I thought I was expecting a Stephen Hawking request. I said it up that way, but I hadn't read it. I don't read them until I read them. He doesn't. Dave, he doesn't read him until he reads him. I don't know how much clearer I can make that. How much clearer can he make that? Say that every week.

It's a very clear sentence. I don't read these until I read these. Okay, no one else can do that. No one else can read them until they read them. I don't read them until I read them, though. So I'm different. Dave, I'm reading them when I'm reading. Dave, he's reading them at the time of reading.

Yes. If you're hearing it from me, that's the same time I'm reading it. It's the same time he's hearing it. What? I read it for the first time you hear it from your own mouth? Yes. And sometimes, He's shocked.

What are these sounds? Especially when someone does a tongue twister. Oh, no. Sometimes you just glide right over them because you're not thinking about it. You just get stuck in. Gripping on for dear life. And the final one this week comes from Derek Brigham,

okay, the last Atlantean lost in Lumeria. Limeria. I don't know if you remember the Atlantis episode. No. There was another mythological island. called Leemiria, where lemurs were from. Ooh, that's fun. Yeah.

God, they're cute. Little lemurs? Derek, also has a suggestion, two suggestions this week, writing, I would like to suggest everyone check out the band Leemiria. Right, putting that one in the February category as well. One of my absolute favorites, I'd describe them as pop punk-inspired indie band. Oh my God, David, sounds right up your alley. Yeah, I haven't heard of this band, but it sounds great.

I wouldn't be able to pick a favorite song of theirs if you ask me to. Well, we're not asking, Derek, why get so defensive? But quick question, what's your favorite song of theirs? Oh. I've put you in a tight spot there. This suggestion comes with a bonus story. It's about a strange interaction I had a few years ago when I lived in Carlsbad, New Mexico. I was waiting in line at a convenience store and I was wearing one of my Lemuria t-shirts that day.

The shirt had the bands named printed across the front in large lettering. While I'm standing there, a man comes up to me and says he likes my shirt. And before I can even respond, he starts interrogating me about the theosophical society and something about Lost Scrolls. When I could finally get a word in Edgewise, I said it was a band I liked, and I went up to the cash register and then left. He's not still in the store. Oh, thank God.

I'd forgotten all about this experience until listening to the Lost Island of Atlanta's episode of the pod. after Matt's breakdown of the secret doctrine, I flashed back to that convenience store and realized that guy was even nuttier than I had thought. Wow. Derek, love that story. Yeah, good story.

Well, obviously, he's been a big fan for a long time then. Lumeria. How is spelling that? How you're spelling L-E-M-U-R, so it's probably L-E-M-R-A. Is it? It's just hard. It's hard to say Lima with an E-R at the end. Yeah,

Lee Maria. Lee Maria. That sounds stupid. I reckon you're probably saying it right. Okay. Thank you Derek, Drew, Ben and David for your facts, quotes and questions. I heard a story. I thought he was going to say that someone from the band came up to him.

Yeah. That's making me think of story. I just heard from Jim Carrey. He was talking about the first time he heard Pantera because they're in the new Sonic film. They've walked by Pantera's in there. And it seems like Carrie asked for that to be in. and he was telling the story that the first time he heard him

that were driving to a show he was driving to a hotel to do a show in a theatre or whatever and they played it and he was like what he was so energized by it he was laughing uncontrollably he felt like just like just real buzzed by listening to it he's like whoa what is this then they got to the hotel to check in

and turned around and Pantara are checking him behind him and he's like, yeah, he's just been a big fan ever since. Whoa. Maybe how did you know it was Pantara behind him? If you just heard one song, you're like, oh my God, it's you. How the fuck would you know? Are they all wearing Pantara t-shirts?

Or, yeah, or is the concierge going, oh, Pantara right this way. Mr. Pantarres. I just heard your song and they're like, Jim Carrey? Yeah. Yeah, maybe they were like, Jim Carrey, wear Pantara. And he was like, Pantara. I'm Jim Carrey. I just heard you a music and laughed.

Maniacly. You are very funny parody musicians, yes? I just watch your comedy and rocked out. That's the power of laughter. The next thing we like to do is thank a few of our other great supporters. Bob, you normally come up with a bit of a... I was thinking we could name their kingdom. Name their kingdom fantastic.

What are you? Yeah, great. All right. First up, I'd love to thank... And they're all kingdoms. Yes. Just saying that. Fantastic.

None of them are monarchs. No monarchies. I guess kingdoms are monarchy. Whatever. Shut up. To get the shout-out here, you've got to be on the shout-out level or above, which I believe is the ass-prud. The first one, I'd love to thank from Wadsworth in God's Country, Ohio.

Ohio. In the United States, it's Chris George. Chris George, two names. Just saying. Kingdom of two names. Kingdom of two names. Oh, does everyone have to be. have to have two first names.

But it's pronounced like two namers. No, no. Just didn't say two first names. She said two names. Oh, so you can't, okay, no middle name, no double barrel. No shares. Two names. No, Madonna's.

Everyone has two names. Adele, you can't come in. So sorry. Because no one knows your last name. Nobody knows your last name, Adele. It's not publicly available. Zendaya, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, when you go through customs, they'll just give you, they'll just double up

your name. If you want to come in, you're Adele Adela, Adele, now. Adel Adel. Hello, I'm Adele Adel. Hello. So nice to be here. I'm a deladal. And Adele Adel, always welcome.

Always welcome. I'd also love to thank from Wellsville in Utah. Give me two. United States. Alison Paul. Alison Paul. Elizabeth Paul. Kingdom of oranges.

Ooh. Tragic kingdom in a way. Why? There was no doubt. No doubt. Album, tragic kingdom. And it was a real orange motif on it. Is that where your head was?

No, I was thinking of, you said Utah, give me two. And I was thinking of point. Oranges, yep. Take me on this journey. And I still haven't connected it. Gary Busy's character, they're sitting at some traffic lights. And a man walks past selling oranges. And he says, oranges.

And he turns to the Kianna and says, you want any? And then he says to the seller, no thanks. We've got a lot. What? It's like, Gary, why does your character have oranges? No, thanks. We got a lot. But he also asked Keanu first.

Are you wanting oranges? Is that a riff? No, thanks. We got a lot. That's beautiful. What are you talking about Gary? I don't remember that, but I got to watch that movie. It's all in the same scene as Gimme Two.

That's why I thought we all got to it. I haven't seen it in a long time. And I think, you know how your memories are just memories of memories? Yeah. Because I always bring up the Utah Give Me Too. I remember that memory. Yeah. Meatball.

Hey, Utah. Me too. No, thanks. We got a lot. What? I said that to you and you're trying to sell them oranges. Finally for me, I'd love to thank from Brighton, Victoria in Australia. Jack Sanguinetti.

Oh, great. Fantastic name. Kingdom of... Up and goes. Up and goes. Everything like in the kingdom of up and goes. The rivers flow milky, yellow, pink and brown. Up and goes international.

They're like a liquid breakfast. Yeah, a couple of wheat bicks. Milk coloring flavor. They got wheat bicks in them? Yeah, I think they got... Well, they always claiming with the goodness. or the energy wheat bicks.

Got a bit of five. Got a lot of protein. Yum, yum, yum. Good way to start your day. Um, so thank you, Jack.

Hey, can I jump in here? Please. I'd love to thank from Mill Creek in Utah. Give me another two. Have a look at this. I'm confused,

but do it anyway, Dave. Alison poor. Do you live in two places in Utah? Jeez, what's the opposite of nominative determinism? Because she's, if she has two accounts.

He's rich. Alison Rich more like it. Alison Paul, so Alison Paul from Wellsville, Utah is the kingdom of oranges, but Alison Paul from Mills Creek, Utah, in case that it's a separate person, we should give them a separate title. Of course.

But imagine we've got two awesome Pauls from Utah. Could be a very common name in Utah. Wow. I'm going to see how far apart they are. I reckon maybe Alison, oh, who knows? Different photos on her profile. They are an hour and 14 minute drive from each other.

There's an 80 miles between the two. No, that's two photos of the same person. Okay. Email addresses? Oh my God. Alison Poor, have you accidentally signed up twice? And you've been on there for over a year. Geez, you're doing God's work.

Alison, did you change your name after supporting us for so long? You've become Alison Paul. Alison poor. You legend. Well, let's give Alison, already kingdom of oranges. Alison Paul, also from the kingdom of... Lemons. Oh!

But by that I mean kind of shit cars. Oh, okay. Come down to Ellison Paws. And the fruit. And the fruit. Car Imporenton. I don't know. You seem not unhappy with the Cars thing.

Well, the Ellison's Car Emporium. Oh, very good. We sell lemons. Yes, Dave. Sometimes. I love a bit of lemon. It's got nothing. Love lemon.

So the cars are lemons, but they've all got bootfuls of lemons. Of lemons. Yeah. Slide them into your coronas because we're LaFamily. Even though I think they do, limes in America. Thanks, Alison. Thanks, Alison. I'd also like to thank from Silver Spring in, is this Maryland?

I believe so. In Maryland, it is John Brofie. Oh, Brofie. What's up, Brofie? Brofie. Brofie is like a brotherly trophy. Yeah. What's up, Brofie?

So would it be maybe the kingdom of Bromances. Yeah, Kingdom of Bromances. Oh, that's great. You get trophies for your bromances. Kingdom of Bromances and underage doctors. When I saw MD, I thought, Doogie Hauser. I was like, I don't know where he's going with this.

Underage Doctor! That was a show for ages. They've done a reboot. Have they really? Yeah, it's on Disney. Doogie Hauser MD? Is it in Hawaii? Is it like grittier or something?

Pretty sure Ronnie Chang's in it. Really? It's a bit of fun. What a guy. They did the gritty reboot of fresh prints. Oh, that's probably what I'm thinking, actually. Hey, I'd also like to think from Tempe in Arizona, Jordana Hayden. Jordana Hayden.

It's a beautiful name. Yeah, well, Jordana rules over the kingdom of eggs. Scramble, poached, sunny-side-up. What was that shop you saw before, Dave? Yeah, egg. Egg lab. Egg lab. The lab of eggs and I said, how many names do you reckon they had a shortlist before they chose egg lab?

It was funny because we were driving to get some lunch and you're in the back seat and just sort of pipe up reading signs. And that's something my senile grandma used to do. She would just get me in the back of the car reading every street sign she saw. Not just hear a little egg lab. What was egg lab? The cafe or something in a restaurant? There's a little cafe called egg lab. Egg lab.

It's our official endorsement of Egg Lab. Egg Lab. Hey, there's two. There's one in Fitzroy and Brunswick. There you go. They're taken over. Thank you so much. May I thank some people?

I'd love it. I would love to thank from London. I'd love to thank surname unknown, so she can't come into Chris George's kingdom of two names. We'd love to welcome Charlotte. Unless renamed Charlotte Charlotte Charlotte. Charlotte. Then you could be like Charlie Charlotte or something.

Charlie Charlotte. Yeah, that's true. Lottie Charlotte. Charlotte Hornets. You could be Charlotte Hornets. Could be Charlotte Hornets. Yeah. Could be Charlotte North Carolina.

Yep. Oh, that's three names. There's too much. You can only have two. Damn it. Charlotte Carolina is fine. Or Charlotte North. Yeah, Charlotte North.

That was pretty cool. That's a good name. Charlotte, obviously, head of the kingdom of... Chocolate. Chocolate bunnies. Bodies. Yum. Can you ride them?

No. Oh. Can't ride it. Well, you can, but you're covered in chocolate afterwards because your body heat obviously melts the chocolate a little bit. You sort of sweat into them. And then just like... And they get a dip in their back.

And yeah, just because you're like the way you were sitting, you've now got a crotch that's just brown covered in chocolate. Is that what you want, Dave? Do you want chock crotch? Yes. Dave's got a chock crotch, everybody. That sounds pretty inappropriate. I mean, inappropriate.

Sorry. A chock crotch. Chock crotch. No, it's awful That's bad I always do like edible undies Is the grow like so

Yeah I feel like that Don't put them on Just eat them What's the Or better yet Grab a family block of chocolate Yeah

Yeah A bit full on I'm guessing it's not the best quality of chocolate But it's also It's like Well like body chocolate Yeah Don't want to yuck people's

Yum But edible undies That are like those hard candies You can get ones that are like a bra of candy? Good support, I imagine. Yeah, very good support.

You can play basketball in those. I have, I'm wearing a sports edible undie. Wicks away sweat. Thank you, Charlotte. Sorry for that gross riff. I would also love to thank from Providence, Rhode Island, Paloma Velesquoise. Oh my God, that is one of the great names. Beautiful name.

Holy shit. Okay. Paloma Valesquoise. Velasquez. So good. Paloma Head of the kingdom of infinite

glory. Wow. That sounds like a cult. Is that a cult? No, no, no. That sounds like a fucking cult. That's vague as hell. It's an amazing place. It's just meadows as far as the eye can see. Right. And if you're there, you just feel glorious.

Okay, but where do I sleep? You sleep where you want to sleep? In the meadow. everything's comfortable in the kingdom. There's no accommodation, no hotel or resort or something? Infinite glory. Yeah. No, no, everything.

Is there a restaurant or any kind of? It's magic. You just, you always feel satiated. There's 100% a cult. Do we have to, is there like mass weddings or anything? This is a drug trip. No, not mass weddings. Just if you're there, you are automatically married to Paloma.

Okay, yeah, it's a cult. That's a cult. There's no wedding. You're just already married. It's not a cold. Can we leave? Well, if you really want to, but there are some forms, you're going to have to fill out. Okay.

And the person with the forms isn't here at the moment. Right. When are they coming back? We're not sure. Okay. But, yeah. So they left? Well, yeah.

Oh, okay. They're dead. They're dead and this is a cold. I'm not saying that. You're not not saying it. No. Well, we don't lie here. So is there anybody else that would be able to fill out those forms or?

Yeah, come back tomorrow or the next day. Okay. But in the meantime, I just sleep anywhere. It's comfortable. Okay, what do I eat? Where do I go to the toilet? Oh my God, so many questions. Too many questions.

You are lucky to be here. You've got a knife. Why do you have a knife? I just yell, you've got a knife. Thank you, Paloma. We have trouble in sector too. Someone take it away. Paloma.

I'm not sure how I feel about your kingdom, but thank you so much for your support anyway. It's better than it sounds. Okay. It's better than you made it sound. And finally, I love to thank you for a prospect in South Australia. Mike Wait.

Mike Wait, the kingdom of jumping castles. A bouncy land, yes. That'd be fun. Bad for my back, to be honest. I'm not allowed on trampolines, but... Mike has a blow-up crown. Yes, everything's inflatable. You can't get hurt.

That's fun. So when you say you're not allowed on tramplains, since I was seven years old. You know you hurt your back on a trampling. Yeah. But no, many times. But when you say not allowed,

is that because your parents were like, you can't go on those anymore? Yeah, because I kept hurting myself. But as an adult, could you go on one or would it hurt you to go on one? I would fuck my back immediately. How?

What do you mean? I would jar my back instantly. She doesn't mean have sex with her back back back back. I thought you, I thought you meant. Walk me through. How? Sorry, what I thought you meant was you just presumed you'd have an accident where you'd jump and like land on the springs or something.

Oh yeah, I've done that. But no, just the jumping and the shock, it's not, yeah, no good. Hey, that's all right. Yeah. But I love them. God, I love to be free. Bounce. Oh, my God.

Free to bounce. Like Mike Waite. Thank you, Mike. And Poloma and Charlotte and Jordana and John and Allison and Jack and Allison and Chris. And the last thing we like to do here is welcome some people into the trip club. Yeah. Now, these fine citizens of the kingdom of DoGoOn have been on the shoutout level or above for three straight years. And they get welcomed in to the Triptych Club.

It's Theodore of the Mind here. We're inside a club. I'm on the door. Got the velvet rope. Got a clipboard. I've got your names. I read out your name. Lift up that rope.

You're welcomed in. Dave's on the stage, hyping up the crowd. Everyone, all previous inductees are still in. Got life membership. Everyone's cheering. They're all cheering. They're cheering your name. as well.

Dave's hyping you up. He's your hype man. Jess is hyping up Dave because Dave's not the best hype man. And then... I'm the best man in this fucking room. And Jess also has created a cocktail based on the topic. What is the... What do you call?

What's the cocktail that is the kingdom, gay and lesbian kingdom of the Coral Sea Island's cocktail? Well, what it is, I was going to say it's a big shot glass. Essentially, I mean, it's a latte glass. And I've just got... different coloured shots. They're all separated somehow. So it's just a multi-coloured rainbow drink.

Yes. And we have had a letter from Erica Betz saying, to be fair, we also have to have an anti-gay people cocktail. Yeah. Otherwise, it's unfair. Yeah. Yeah. And that's absolutely what we would abide by.

It makes sense. Makes a lot of sense. Yeah. That sounds delicious. Yeah. And like a nightmare to put together. Oh, yeah. absolute nightmare getting them to sort of sit properly and then it tastes like shit.

Too many flasers. It's like, do you ever do ABC shots? No. Those things, oh my God. Always be closing. That'll fuck you up. Always be cocktail. And that was three shots.

Right. Absinth, something, something. Oh yeah, that's a bad start. Horrendous. It tasted so bad. But this has so many shots. It's honest, it'll kill you. Ah.

But you'll have a really good time. It's basically petrol. You'll have a terrible hangover. we do have like electrolytes and powerades and we've got a one of those oxygen things and we have a we have a McDonald's in our club so you're all good for when you're starting to feel a bit shitty every every topic about a company we've done before they have a little stand in there yeah fegeomite uh Coca-Cola my space we've done my space yeah I did a my space episode I need to start listening to this podcast I've probably said that a million times too uh anyway we've got two inductees

this week. I've also got some music. Dave, have you booked a band? After I welcome these people on stage, I'm going to say, please welcome Gloria Gaynor! Yes! Welcome Gloria.

I was hoping for share, but okay. Singing I am what I am? Singing all the hits. I will survive. Let me know, I have a right. I am what I am. Never can say goodbye. Great.

Never say goodbye. Classic. All right, so you ready to welcome in this week's inductees? Please. Firstly, from Lester in Great Britain. it's Will Price? Will he pay the price? Yes, he will!

The price of admission. Okay. Will he price? Oh, so nice. Yeah, that's more positive. Will he pay the price? I'm like, sinister. Okay, we're ruining the fucking floy.

And finally from Little Hampton, also in Great Britain, it's Harry Pledgeer. Harry Pledgeerger. Harry Pledge, Pledge, he's been pledged for ages. Harry Pledge! What a pleasure! Oh, that's quite good. I just couldn't get over Pledge.

It's just so amazing. Pledge is incredible. That he pledges to our podcast. Yeah, it's very good. Harry from more like Big Hampton. All right. Welcome in. More like big legend.

Harry and Will. Pledge and Price. Pledge and Pledge and Pryce feels like it could be a... A really good sketch duo. Yeah. A sketch duo or an English crime. Yeah. Pleasure and Ops me pleasure.

This is me partner, Price. He's the character of the two. So I've never thought about it before, but as we're welcoming them in, you're reading out who they are and where they're from, which is so great. You're not just saying, please welcome Jess Perkins. You're saying,

from Melbourne, Australia. What's an international club? Yeah, I love it. It's nice to give a bit of contact. And then other people that are standing by ready to applaud and welcome new people in are like, oh, that's interesting. And they'll say, oh, Leser,

I've always wanted to go to Leicester. Yeah, tell me about it. Or I've got a friend. There's a comedy festival in Leicester. Have you been to that? That's sort of stuff. I've always wanted to get a little Hampton. What a fascinating part of the world.

Let's connect, you know? Beautiful. Beautiful. It's going to open up. connections. Yeah, Matt Stewart, facilitating friendship since, I don't know, the dawn of time. I don't know how oldies. No one does. Records don't go that far back. Do you know? No, I did. Oh my God. One day I'll cut myself open. Count the rings.

Hey, let's boot this baby home. Jess, anything we need to tell people before we go? Um, that if you have come across a news article you found interesting, a story, a video, a website, whatever. A micro nation. A micro nation. I suggest. She's very territorial about them. You can suggest that to us. There's a link on our website, dogo onpod.com.

It's in our show notes as well. And yeah, you don't have to be supporting us to make a suggestion. Anybody can do that. And we love to read them. You can get in touch at dogo on pod across all social medias. We're, you know, trying to get to 10,000 followers on Instagram. So not far off. Not far off.

So give us a follow. If you've got multiple accounts, if you've got an account for your dog, get in there. Although I tried to do a thing where my dog only follows other dogs. But, yeah, it follows some people. Anyway, um... Dog on. Hey, close enough. Yeah, exactly. Um, but yeah, uh, Dave Boot at home.

Dogoon. Dogoon. Thanks, everybody. We'll be right next week with another episode. But until then, I'll say thank you so much. And goodbye. Later. Bye.

I mean, you know, people are entitled to their sexual proclivities. You know, I mean, let there be a thousand blossoms, blooms, as far as I've consumed. But I ain't spend it any time on it, because in the meantime, every three months, a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in North Queensland. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are, and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester.

But this way you'll never, will never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree. Very, very easy. It means we know to come to you and you'll also know that we're coming to you. Yeah, we'll come to you. You come to us. Very good. And we give you a spam-free guarantee.