Do Go On - 347 - The Nepalese Royal Family Massacre

Episode Date: June 15, 2022

In 2001, Nepal had three kings in three days. I don't want to give away too much more here, but the reason is one of the most shocking stories we've ever covered on the show... Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Check out our new merch! : https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ Stream our 300th episode with extra quiz (and 16 other episodes with bonus content): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoon Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:Zero Hour, 2007:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYkX2NX1tBs  https://www.nytimes.com/2001/06/08/world/a-witness-to-massacre-in-nepal-tells-gory-details.html https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-05-01/how-a-lovesick-prince-wiped-out-nepals-royal-family/100056562https://mofa.gov.np/about-nepal/history-of-nepal/#:~:text=After%20the%20death%20of%20Yaksha,Gorkha%20with%20a%20Shah%20ruler. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club, April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at dogo1pod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right. I'm doing shows with Saren Jayamana, who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February, Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattstuartcomedy.com.

We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On.

My name is Dave Warnke and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello. Hello. How low can you go? Oh. How about this low? Low. And I'll have my go.

Hello. Oh. Okay. That didn't quite work out. You suck at everything. Well, except at explaining how the show works. Okay, good. You were going for the same thing.

Matt, I'll take this one. What we do here is we take it in terms of a report on a topic often suggested to us by one of the listeners. We go away, do a bit of research, bring it back to the group and it's my turn to do that this week. I've picked a topic. You two don't know what it's going to be about. And to's my turn to do that this week. I've picked a topic. You two don't know what it's going to be about. And to get us on the topic, I'm going to ask you a question. I'm going to fold my laptop because I think Jess is going to cheat

because you're an absolute cheat. I'm an absolute cheat. If I can see that screen, I'm looking. You're looking. Hey, Dave, before you get started, can I just have a quick look at your screen? No reason. Oh, yeah.

Can I just, I'll click share with you because you are coming down the line. You are podcasting from Alabama, I believe. Brisbane. Similar. Sorry. I often get those two confused. All right, my question to you is, and if Matt doesn't get this, he gets the excuse of being on delay.

Jess, you've got no excuse. In 2001, both of you were alive, which Asian country had three kings in three days? Whoa. I love the sound of this. Yeah, it's going to be a fun story, I think. Any ideas, Matt? What's a king?

Does Malaysia have kings? It's not Malaysia. Thailand recently had a changeover, didn't they? But I think that was one long-serving king. Yeah, I think about seven decades of the that was one long-serving king. Yeah, I think about seven decades of the same king they had. Oh, wow. Thailand. We know that Mousy Dong and – no, when did Mousy kick the bucket?

But he was never a king anyway. He was like more of a – That's right. He was just a leader. My guess is Nepal. Oh, can I go? Really? I'm going to go

with Jess on this. I'm going to also go Nepal. How long ago did you look at this screen, Jess? Your computer's been open for ages. It was right there. The answer, I actually tricked you, is Malaysia. It is Nepal. It is Nepal. It is Nepal.

You had me go for a second. I was like, then why did he write answer Nepal? So confusing. Did he know I would look? Yeah. I tricked everyone. I tricked everyone, including myself. Wow, you got us.

I want to say, for the person who's keeping tally, I still get that point. Absolutely. Yeah, cheating's fine. Cheating, shmeeting. I still said it first, didn't I? So. So, yes, the answer is Nepal.

And this topic, those three days of changes of kings, which we'll get to why that happened, been suggested by two people. Richard from Nepal, currently in Sydney, although this was suggested in 2018. Where are you now, Richard? Oh. That's my question.

And also Mahima Bandari from Geelong, Sydney, although this was suggested in 2018. Where are you now, Richard? Oh. That's my question. And also Mahima Bandari from Geelong, but they were in Nepal during this turbulent time in the story. I met someone just recently who was from Nepal in Newcastle, had just moved there from Sydney. Their name was not Richard, so it's not the same person. Okay. Was their name Richie? Makes you think.

Or Dickie? No, no, it was Rick. He said Rick, no relation to Richard. Well, let me give you a bit of background on Nepal. It is a landlocked country between China and India, lying along the southern slopes of the Himalayan mountain ranges. Beautiful. Beautiful mountains.

Gorgeous. It boasts some very famous past and present residents, including Mount Everest. Of course. You think of Mount Everest as a resident. Yeah, still there, still there. Everest could move. We could get Everest.

It's like the Olympics. You've got to sort of bid for it. And, yeah, we've really thrown our hat in the ring. We do not have the appropriate weather, apparently, yeah. Whoa. That'd be a real boon for our economy, I think. Wouldn't it? Yeah.

Real pat boon for our economy. So it's got Mount Everest and also Gautama Buddha, the founder of Buddhism. Oh, I thought it was going to be the founder of guitar, guitars and rock and roll. That was a side project, please. Could have done both. Nepal was unified as a Hindu kingdom in 1768,

founded by King Prithvi Narayan Shah. The Shah dynasty then ruled as an absolute monarchy under successive kings until 1846 when there was a huge shift in power. Also, I'm going to say here, I've looked up a lot of pronunciations for these names. kings until 1846 when there was a huge shift in power. Also, I'm going to say here, I've looked up a lot of pronunciations for these names. If you are from Nepal or from that region of the world,

I have tried very hard to say these names correctly, but there will be a couple that I'm obviously having a stab at. Yeah, if you want to tweet in with criticisms, can you hashtag it Napoleon pronunciation? Please, I encourage this. I encourage this. A fast-rising military leader, Jung Bahadurana, looked as if he threatened the Shah's hold on power.

So the Queen Raja Lakshmi plotted to stop this upstart military leader. She had several hundred princes and chieftains executed after a clash between military personnel and administrators loyal to the Queen in what is known as the Kot Massacre. So the Queen tried to quell this uprising by killing lots of people, but it didn't work. Despite this, Jungbahada Rana eventually emerged victorious

and founded the Rana dynasty. He kept the monarch on but made it a titular figure without any power and declared himself prime minister, which he then made a hereditary role. So his son became prime minister and so on and so on. So they replaced the king to basically create a king with a new name. I'd actually be all right with being a queen with none of the power. Queen and name only. Kind of like the Queen of England?

Yeah. I want to be the queen and I want to have, like, a staff looking after me. Yep. And not to really have to worry about budgeting, you know. But I don't want to have to make any big decisions. Do you want to have to open plaques and things like that? I'd rather not. Okay.

But if I had to do a couple a year, yeah, I'd do that. A couple of appearances, you know, kiss some babies, sign some babies, whatever. You're right, Matt. Just like the Queen. Sounds great. I'm guessing him and his followers were like, this is righteous, we're going to take down this system, give it back to the people,

and then just slowly made it the same thing again. Yeah, just made it exactly the same. Hey, yeah, Prime Ministers, people get to vote for those and they're like, fantastic. And then he's like, all right, my son's the next Prime Minister and his son. I have voted for him. I said people vote for him.

I voted for him. Sure, he's three. The justification must be like, hey, look, we all know that I'm a good person, right? That's why we did this. But can we trust the people to pick the right person? I'm not sure that we can. My son, I'll make sure he's a good bloke and he'll be good too, promise.

And it won't be him growing up as the heir apparent and living in a palace certainly won't make him a bit of a weirdo and end up having strange ideas about what the world is. He'll be in touch with the people just like me, just like his dad. And they passed on the position of Prime Minister to nine separate successors for 100 years. Wow. The backing of the British helped them stay in power.

That was integral. Okay. That was integral. Then to quote from Britannica here, the British withdrawal from India in 1947 deprived the Ranas, who were the Prime Ministers, of a vital external source of support and exposed the regime to new dangers.

One of those dangers really came through when a democracy movement of the early 1950s saw them overthrown with support from the then monarch of Nepal, King Tribhuvan, who remember was just a figurehead at the time. Yeah, the perfect kind of king. Right?

In my opinion. But soon after the overthrow of the Ranas, King Tribhuvan was reinstated as the head of state. So he's like, I'm in charge again. I'm back. And this is a quote from the Government of Nepal's Foreign Affairs website, which I've enjoyed a lot this week. I bet you have.

That sounds very interesting and fun. In early 1959, Tripuvan's son, King Mahendra, issued a new constitution and the first democratic elections for a national assembly were held. So he's bringing democracy back. Fantastic. The Nepali Congress Party was victorious and their leader, Bisheshwar Prasad Kaurala, formed a government and served as Prime Minister, this time an elected Prime Minister. Fantastic. Okay. But by 1960, the following year, King Mahendra changed his mind

and dissolved Parliament, dismissing the first democratic government. So he went, actually, this isn't such a good idea. I'm in charge. That's right. Okay. Really, Tom Brady'd it. I'm retiring. Yeah, that's right.

Actually. Actually, I kind of miss it. I want to be king again of the NFL. In fact, most of the party's leaders were imprisoned. Oh. So they tried to have a constitutional monarchy, but it didn't work out right away or for quite a long time. Again from Britannica,

King Mahendra attained both Indian and chinese acceptance of his regime and the internal opposition was weak disorganized and discouraged and he was able to hold on to the throne until 1972 when he died and his son barendra took the throne and barendra is integral to the story we are talking about today okay king barindra so he was the oldest son of mahendra and his first wife indra his mother indra died during the birth of their sixth child and the death of the crown princess led to the building of the kingdom's first maternity hospital before that they didn't have one mahendra was widowed this is the king then married his first wife's younger sister, Ratna. Really loves that whole hereditary passing it down thing, even wives.

Yeah. Keep them coming. How many more you got? How many more? That does feel, you hear that happen a little bit. I mean, I've never known anybody, but you hear those stories sometimes and it's like, well, I guess you don't have to then like go through meeting the family again. Absolutely right.

Surnames and all that, you know, I'm affected. And you're also like, well, I mean I really liked, I loved someone who was very similar genetically to this person. DNA was. She had a lot of DNA, yeah, very, very similar. Chimps and humans are 98% similar. Her and her sister, probably like 98.5, 99. Yeah, yeah.

So what do you want me to do? Marry a chimp? Or I can marry my wife, my dead wife's sister. Come on. Who is also a chimp? Well, I love chimps. I love chimps. Is there a problem here?

I'm the king. I can marry whatever I like. I love chimps. I love chimps. Is there a problem here? I'm the king. I can marry whatever I like. That lamp, that bookshelf, record player. I've married them all. So he remarried the sister or married the sister. They had no more children though. That's probably a good idea because then the kids would be like siblings and cousins. Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, I am right. And then aunties become mum, auntie mum. Oh, yeah, because they'd already known. Oh, yeah, that's messy. Yeah, I am right. And then aunties become mum, auntie mum. Oh, yeah, because they'd already – oh, yeah, that's messy. Auntie stepmum. No, that's nice. It's nice. I think the more consolidation we can do, you know, you would talk about in the modern life, you want to consolidate things.

More time for me. So you just consolidate family members into one. Don't you think that would be easier? Yeah, I think that would be nice. Honestly, that sounds like the logic of a cult leader that marries every single person. Yeah. Come on. I don't

want there to be any kind of jealousy because I've married like two or three of the women. So I'm just going to marry all of them. I'll marry them all. And then we're all equal. And I love you all the same. Obviously, Sandra's number one. Yeah, obviously. I love you all the same. Obviously, Sandra is number one. Yeah, obviously. I love you all the same.

My number one wife. Number two. I have got a ranking system. There is a ranking system. I will publish that. I will publish that on the notice board. Sarah, you've really been letting me down lately. You are slipping to 13th.

You have dropped a few spots. But I love you all basically the same. Basically. We're talking a couple of percentage points. It's fractional. It's little fractions here, but same. Basically. We're talking a couple of percentage points. It's fractional. There's little fractions here, but yes. Yeah. But yes, I have a favourite.

The oldest son, Berendra, the one who's integral to this story, had been educated at the prestigious and expensive Eton College in the UK. We heard about that in recent episodes or past episodes, didn't we? Like a lot of UK prime ministers studied there. Yes, that's right. A lot of world leaders, especially from the UK, but also from around the world go there. Scott Morrison went there, I think.

You know, all the good world leaders. Yeah. By the time this comes out, who knows? Remember there was someone who was like talking about how they donated to charities and one of the charities turned out to be Eton. I can't remember what episode that was. I found that very funny.

Given to the needy. But he went to Eton. That's cool. That's right. And the kids at Eton will be Eton tonight for the first time in a long time after my donation. You're welcome, children. You are welcome.

You are the future leaders. Everyone gets a free Jaguar. Animal or car? Both. Whoa. Pop the boot. You're going to love what you find in there. So he went to Eton where he was later described by his classmates

as, quote, a very, very nice bloke who was embarrassed when his full title was read out at the school assembly. Oh, don't, Principal, please. No, don't say it. I'm shy. He went on to study at the University of Tokyo and Harvard. Am I saying that right? The University of Harvard.

Yes. Saying that right? Harvard. Thank you. And he had just turned 26 when his father died. He married his wife, who became Queen Ashwara, who was his second cousin. They love it in the family.

They love it. And also a member of the Rana family, the group that had ruled as prime ministers for 100 years. Oh, wow. That feels like a very good match then. Yeah, so I guess by marrying up, he sort of shored up the two families together. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dave, did you say he married his wife? Yeah. Were they, like, is that allowed to marry someone who's already your wife? You know when you redo your vows? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's really consolidating things. I had written he married his queen but that made me feel weird so I changed it to I.

Why? That's nice. He married his queen. You should marry your queen. I think that's every wedding I go to I'm sure I've heard them say, I'm marrying my queen. Weddings are so weird. I love them but, fuck, it's so funny to see your friends and it's like it's the one day where they have this really private conversation

but they have it in front of everyone. That's true. I'm like, oh, are you sure you guys don't need some privacy while you do these vows? They use their very private pet names publicly. You're like, are you sure you wanted to do that? Matt, I thought it was weird at my wedding when you heckled with get a room.

But honestly, it was a bit much. Yeah, it was. Honestly, you killed though. You killed. That heckle was, you killed. Oh, I love killing with a heckle. Groom slaps down heckler. You won't believe what he says.

Check out that YouTube video on my page. Anyway, he married his wife who became his queen, all this stuff. And their wedding was huge. It actually has its own entry on a wedding website I found called wikipedia.org. Okay. Did you come across that when you were doing the wedding planning? Yeah, that's right, actually.

I did. So it's just like anything, any kind of references you might need for planning a wedding? Yeah. But it seems like it also has like the history of weddings. Yeah, it does. And actually I'll read from that page and you'll honestly notice that my wedding was a bit hack. I did all of these things. Yeah, it does. And actually, I'll read from that page and you'll honestly notice that my wedding was a bit hack.

I did all of these things. Okay, great. Hey, Dave, just before you go on, I'd like to, I feel like I have to pass this on. Someone tweeted at us recently, petition for you to stop the Wikipedia joke. My answer, fuck off. I'm putting it on the record, okay?

Okay, and on the record, fuck off. I'm putting it on the record, okay. Okay, and on the record, fuck off. Lighten up. Jesus Christ. Let us have this. Look at the fucking news. The world is on fire and three little dickheads in Melbourne and Brisbane today make a little joke on a weekly basis. That's what it want to do.

We don't know what Wikipedia is and it's a bit of fucking fun. Lighten up. If that's the worst thing that's happened in your day, look inward, you miserable piece of shit. I think I went too far with that last bit. Yes, yes. But I'm not apologising. I agree.

Lighten up. I think I need to send you the Wikipedia page for apology. Now, Wikipedia, is that an apology website? It's an apology website. But it's also a wedding website. Let me read from the page. Let me read from the page. Their wedding had an extensive preparation.

Yep. Four white stallions were brought from England. Yes. Flowers from the Netherlands. So far you can see my wedding very much. Yeah, that's embarrassing. Even like the destinations you got the stallions and the flowers. Absolutely. Yeah. Exotic foods were brought from New Delhi

in two planes including 130 Indian waiters and 40 taxi cabs. Dave, this is eerie. It's so gross. And you're, hang on, no, no, no, no, no. Hand on your heart. You're promising you had not read about this wedding when you planned your own. Next question.

Okay. You remember this bit? 200 automobiles were brought from Germany and Japan. I do remember, yes. Do. There's already 40 taxis as well, so they're getting automobiles from everywhere. Everywhere.

The Singha Durba Palace was cleaned to make room for the bride's family. The roads of Kathmandu were repaved and streetlights were reinstalled. Wow. Government buildings were whitewashed and new walls were built for older constructions. Government buildings do tend to be a little bit whitewashed. Don't you agree? Good one. Good one. agree? Hmm? Hmm?

Good one. Good one. Is that anything? Did I say something? Two new second class hotels were taken by government to serve the guests. I mean, they could have taken first class hotels, couldn't they? Second class hotels. Embarrassing. I don't know what this means, but the hippies and the hashish market,

then a legal business, were closed months before the wedding. So they closed down the hippies and the hashish market. Get out of here, hippies. Get a haircut. Yeah. They shaved down the whole hippies precinct. Can you believe? A postal stamp was issued to mark the occasion,

and the cost of the wedding was thought to be between nine and 16 million US dollars. Love a vague guess like that. That's a big jump, isn't it? Yeah. Nepal's annual budget at the time was 66 million. Wow. And so the wedding was...

About 20% of their national budget. That feels right. Assuming that everyone living there was doing well and there were no other things that needed the money, then fine, spend a silly amount of money on your wedding. Everyone's comfortable and has, yeah, somewhere to sleep. And I'm assuming that's the case. So they had this massive wedding and Berendra took the throne in 1972,

but he wasn't crowned king for three years based on the advice of court astrologers who said that a better time for the coronation would be in three years' time. Three years. And as we'll hear again in this story, the court astrologers were very influential on the monarchy. Okay. They based a lot of their decisions on these predictions.

And again from that wedding website, wikipedia.org, which apparently also has a section that describes coronations. Okay. A little subsection. That's interesting because the two don't generally go hand in hand. But in this case they did. So Berendra, this is his coronation. There he was smeared with mud taken from various symbolic places,

the bottom of a lake, The tusk of an elephant. A mountain. The confluence of two rivers. And the doorstep of a sex worker's house. Yeah, that's the big six. The big six. Then with Queen Ashwara beside him, he was cleansed with butter, milk, yoghurt and honey as priests chanted praises

and salutations. Butter, milk, yoghurt and honey. That's sticky. Yeah, nice brekkie though. Good way to clean off mud. Yeah. Well, it's like red wine and salutations. Butter, milk, yogurt and honey. That's sticky. Yeah, nice brekkie though. Good way to clean off mud. Yeah. Well, it's like red wine and white wine. You know, you get red wine out with white wine. You get mud out with butter, honey and eggs.

Yogurt. Yogurt. And milk. And it's like when Lisa Simpson had bubble gum in her hand, they just piled more and more stuff on top. It's like that. And then eventually just cut it off. That sounds like a relaxing day to one of those fancy spas.

It totally does. And a lot of royalty and statespeople from around the world were watching on, including Prince Charles. He was there. Really? Watching this honey ceremony. So Berendra was on the throne and he ruled the country and political parties remained effectively banned until 1990.

But an economic crisis at the end of the 80s led to a popular movement that resulted in strikes and protests across the nation. The king had no choice but to make reforms and in a pretty amazingly quick time Nepal transformed into a constitutional monarchy and a multi-party parliamentary political system. A lot of the royal family were unhappy with the king conceding most of his power to the constitutional monarchy and it was a source of tension, let me tell you. Source of tension is another thing that he used to get the mud off. Yes, yeah, yeah. You must have missed that, Dave, in your research.

But source of tension, it was there. Certainly. And the source of tension, how would you describe flavouring? You'll have a bite. You'll taste it and be like, oh, nothing. And then you'll be like, wait, what's going on? Do I not know how to taste anymore? What's happened to my taste buds?

Are they failing? Oh, my God. Wait, have I got COVID or something else has happened? And then I go, bang, and the tension's broken. And it's beautiful. Wow. And that tastes like everything all at once. Whoa.

Yeah. Wow. That's a bit overwhelming actually. Yeah, that's a bit much. Yeah, probably not good for chippies. Only for special occasions. Very rich. Not Moorish at all.

Oh, very rich, yeah. That's like one of those very chocolatey cakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a sliver. Just a sliver of source of tension, please. The first bite is almost certainly enough and it never gets better from there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, let's share a piece.

Share this? Yeah, between five people. A lot of craft beers are like that where they sound great, they're hectic and you have a sip but you've ordered a pint of it and you're enjoying it. The first quarter of it, you're loving it and by the end you're wishing you went for a pot. Yeah, I feel like they should serve them in like pints, schooners, pots, ponies and maybe like a teaspoon.

Can I have a teaspoon of that? A thimble. I'd love a thimble of that. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Obviously, for them to make money, you still pay the full price. But honestly, you're doing yourself a favour. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You don't want a pint of that. So, sorry, same price for a pint or a thimble. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That seems like a bad business model. Or actually a very good business model. Yeah, for them. For them, yeah. So, there's a new government.

The king's now given up a lot of his power and the new government wasn't very popular with the people either. Throughout the 1990s, three main players were jostled for power in Nepal. Two were the largest political parties. We have the Nepali Congress or the NC and then also the Communist Party of Nepal, sometimes described as the Maoists, similar to Chairman Mao Zedong.

There you go, Matt. Thank you. And the third edge of the triangle was, of course, the royal family. The Communist Party were especially in favour of overthrowing the monarchy. Yeah, of course they were. They were a real threat to them. In 1996, the Maoists announced the People's War and there was bloodshed across the country for a violent time.

So it was already very turbulent across Nepal, but in 2001 something happened that would transform the royal family and the country forever, a surprising event that no one could see coming. Jess, any guesses? 2001. Was that the year that Jet released Get Born? I think it was 2003.

Okay. This is the year that Jet recorded their demos that they sent to Sony that would one day result in the release of Get Born. I don't know what else it could be if it wasn't Get Born. Get Born. Well, we'll find out. Let's meet the rest of the royal family. Okay.

They are this story. So we already have the king and queen, King Birendra and Queen Aishwarya. Both came from big families with multiple siblings. The queen's younger sister, and they love to keep it in the family as we've already established, the queen's younger sister, Prekshaya, married the king's brother, Prince Direndra.

Oh, okay, yeah. I don't mind that. Brothers marrying sisters. Yeah. That's fine, I guess I don't mind that. Brothers marrying sisters. Yeah. That's fine, I guess. What about twin brothers marrying twin sisters? Oh. And they live in the same house together.

There was a story online the other day that had a photo of, have you seen that? I think it went a little bit viral. They were wearing the same clothes and people thought it was weird. I'm like, hey, we don't know. We don't know the inner workings of that house where the twins share and wear the same clothes and house and maybe even partners who we don't know if that's how that all works.

Do you think identical twins are better at telling apart other identical twins? Oh, good question. Like noticing the subtle differences. Yeah, because you know how people, some people are just like, I just can't figure it out. And that's very annoying for identical twins. Do you think people who are identical twins see another set and go,

got it, I know exactly who's who here. I guess I'm wondering if they do ever accidentally squeeze their sister-in-law's butt instead of their wife. Oops, so sorry. That is not my wife's bottom. You'd obviously know your wife's bottom by touch. Yeah, oh yeah. But it's too late by then.

Yeah. Already touched it. Yeah, that's true. Sure, you could stare at it, but that'd be odd. Okay, so we're talking about the royal family. The king and queen had three children. Princess Shruti, who was 24 in 2001, and Prince Narajan, who was 23.

Their older brother, Crown Prince Dependra, who was 29, heir to the throne and also integral to today's story. Okay. Now, remind me who was the first person you said was integral to today's story? King Barendra. And that's his? His dad. Dad.

And he's the oldest son. Yes. He's the heir to the throne. When his dad dies, it's assumed he'll take the role. Yeah. So he's 29 years old in 2001. Prince Dipendra was popular with his people who affectionately referred to him as Dippy. I was going to say, if I had to have a stab, I was going to say Dippy.

Dippy. Dippy's fantastic. And it would have probably been my joke answer, but I love it. Dippy. I was going to say, if I had to have a stab, I was going to say Dippy. Dippy. And it would have probably been my joke answer, but I love it. Dippy. Dippy. Dippy. Wasn't that the nickname of the big diplodocus that was built in country Australia somewhere? They should have gone with that, but they called him Ploddy.

Oh, that's right. Ploddy. Ploddy's not right. Ploddy. Oh, that's right. Ploddy. Ploddy's not right. Ploddy's fun, but Dippy's better. Dippy. Dippy's way better. Dippy! We did a Patreon bonus episode going through all the big things around Australia, and what is it? Ploddy, the

dinosaur, claims to be possibly the first one, but it's a bit controversial. Who was first? Geez, you've got a good memory, Dave. Jess, any recollection of that? No idea. I don't know who you are. So like his father, Dippy, or Prince Dupendra, was educated at Eton.

He excelled at karate and was captain of Eton's school karate team, receiving the rank of black belt. Apparently, whilst at school, he never lost a match. Whoa. It was during his time in England that he reportedly met the love of his life, Devyani Rana, who was also studying in England at the time. Rana. Yes.

Interesting that you noticed the last name there. Hmm. Devyani also came from a wealthy aristocratic background, the wealth of which actually dwarfed even that of the royal family. Oh, my God. Her family was stinking rich. So wealthy. Wealthier than the royal family.

Like to the point where they looked down on the royal's wealth. Oh, that's the dream. It's not. I mean, I don't, you know, I'm not but that would be fun to be like that's a really cute Rolls Royce you have Queen Elizabeth so nice Oh you've got four taxis for your wedding

Oh that single roller Oh that's so good, that's so nice that's great 40 taxis, what do you have to get them to do? Four trips each? I think it's easier if you just get 160 taxis and then you just have to drive one way. Oh, that feels like a bit of a cost. Okay.

Yeah, no, no, no, that's fine. That's what I did for my wedding, but all right. Oh, you dropped that $100 bill. Oh, actually, that was me and I'm not even going to pick it up. I don't even care. You probably need it. I blow my nose with those. Like I'm just obnoxious about it. Yeah. Dropping notes on purpose just to prove they don't need it. I blow my nose with those. Like I'm just obnoxious about it.

Yeah. Dropping notes on purpose just to prove they don't need it. Oh, what a beautiful stables you have. Look at all of these three horses. Wow. Are you okay? It's so sad how you live. Oh, it's amazing what welfare can pay for.

You know, the doll these days, you can get three horses. Good for you. Good on you. You little battler. Has there been some sort of a horse-killing virus go through your stables? Only got three left. Is that what happened, I assume? They're here.

Where are your other hundreds of horses that most people have, I assume? Oh. Tons of horses that most people have, I assume. She was also the great-granddaughter of the last Rana, Prime Minister of Nepal. Remember, the Ranas were the ones that held the Shah monarchy back for 100 years by passing on the prime ministership. So she's from that family. Her mother came from a very rich and powerful Indian family

and the Nepalese king and queen did not approve of her as a match for their son, Prince Dipendra. Probably because of that history, do you think? A bit of a Romeo and Juliet type thing here? A bit of that. But remember the queen actually came from that side as well. Oh, yeah. But I think they actually didn't like her mother's side of the family,

the Indian family. For some reason there was beef there, a bit of tension between their families. A bit of source of tension. Then the Queen Mother, that is Dippy's grandmother, probably step-grandma because it's his grandfather's second wife, also didn't approve of the relationship and in an attempt to sabotage it,

had the royal astronomer examine their connection. Ooh. Oh, pulling out the big guns. The big guns. And would you believe it, the astronomer foresaw that Devyani would be unlikely to produce a male heir and therefore was an unsuitable wife. Right.

So she's like, I don't like you. I'm going to go talk to the people that work for me and they're going to tell me that you're not good. And the astrologer's like, I'm going to be completely impartial. You seem really nice. Your ovaries are done. So that's just not going to work. So the family didn't approve of Devyani.

It's believed that Dipendra, their son, was threatened with being disinherited if he continued with the match. So the affair had to continue in secret. Well, why doesn't he just marry her anyway? Because her family's loaded. They're looked after regardless. I know. It's not really a fall from grace if her family's richer

than your royal family. Well, let me say that Devyani's family were also sceptical of the union. Damn it. Because the royal family had so much less money than their own. They thought that if she became queen, she'd have to get used to a less lavish lifestyle and it was seen as a real downgrade for her to become the Queen of Nepal. That is incredible.

I mean, I think they must be billionaires. You should hate these people, but that is fucking funny. That is so good. Honey, you can't marry a prince and then you'll grow up and be a queen. Oh, yuck. Okay, well, now let's pretend you have a quarter of the staff that you have now. How are you going to get anything done? Oh, my God.

How are you going to get anything done? You'll have to work a lot harder. You're probably going to have to put your own clothes on. Have you thought about that? Have you thought about that? Is he worth that? And that's embarrassing to me, your mother. If you have less money, you know, you're going to have to start combining things

like wives and sisters and, you know, all these jobs. You won't have enough. You won't have enough staff members to do them all. So your sons are going to have to become your brothers and your sisters your grandmothers. It's going to be pretty crazy but, you know, good luck. You know, yeah luck. You know? Yeah.

If that's what you want. That's so funny that, like, that sort of class, that classism, but it's like you're looking down on the royal family. The royal family. That is so funny. The people that spend one-sixth of the economy on a wedding. And you're like, oh, only one-sixth. Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing.

What are they doing on a budget? O're like, oh, only one sixth. Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing. What are they doing it on a budget? Oof. Yuck. Oh, that's so, so good. I also read from at least one source that Deepi himself threatened to poison himself if Devyani refused to marry him, even though his family and her family, they're the ones opposing it. So he's a bit all over the place and I must say quite intense.

Yeah, okay. So he's a bit all over the place and I must say quite intense. Yeah, okay. So he's threatening her even though she's like, nah, dude, I want to be with you. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's everyone against us. We're in it together. If anything, you should be sticking with me and maybe threatening your parents.

Have you thought about that? So all of this was a bit of a scandal. Yeah. According to the ABC, our very own ABC, newspaper clippings at the time reveal the prince's decision to not marry as he reached his 30s, remember he's 29, was threatening his status as heir to the throne. So the people of Nepal were talking about how it's weird

that their crown prince wasn't married yet. Right. And the main reason he wasn't was because behind the scenes he's in love with a woman that he's not allowed to marry. Yeah. So, but yeah, the people are questioning it going, why isn't, really he should get going with making an heir because that's his job.

That's his job. He's the heir and he needs to make another heir. Yeah, people are talking about it. And that wasn't the only source of family tension. Some say that Dippy was angry at his father for giving way to the constitutional monarchy, feeling he'd given away too much power, and he was worried

that he was inheriting a diminished role. Oh, he's like, what's the point of being king anyway? It means nothing. It means nothing. He's kind of like, I'm giving up the love of my life to become king, and then it's really ceremonial. Who cares? Yeah, who gives a shit? So he's like, Dad, you shouldn't have done that. So that was tense. And also apparently

I think the Queen Mother was also a bit like, why the hell was my son stepson doing that? After finishing school, Dependra set out on a military career, receiving military training from the Academy of Royal Nepalese Gurkha Army and piloting training from the Civil Aviation Department.

So he's militarily trained. Everything came to a head on June the 1st, 2001. Dippy hosted 22 people at his residence on that night and his house was within the large royal palace. They've all got their own houses. Within the palace? Yeah. Oh, that's good.

I'd want mine to look like a little fairy cottage. It's like Disneyland with different lands. Yeah. Oh, Jess is over in fairy land. Fairy land. And I'm over in like Star with different lands Yeah Oh Jess is over in Fairyland I'm in Fairyland And I'm over in like Star Wars world Yeah I'm in the Millennium Falcon

I'm in Fridgeland Old man land Which is the same as Fridgeland Actually you know We're on ice over there just trying to de-age Did you just look around the room and just panic and say fridge? Yeah Fridgeland I didn't understand the question China, the age. Did you just look around the room and just panic and say fridge? Yeah. Fridgeland.

I didn't understand the question. Because my mind was thinking about when I was a kid, I think just outside of Melbourne, I should say, there was a fairyland, I think. I remember going to it in primary school excursion and it was like there was a Jack and the Beanstalk thing and like all these fairy tale things maybe a very vague memory may not be true sounds like heaven how long ago did you go to

school well it was when jack and the beanstalk was happening that's why they made it when it was real you're hanging out with the brothers grim so dippy's had a bunch of friends over at his house within the castle. That's right, 22 people. And the guests consisted of three generations of royalty and their close friends. There was nothing unusual about the get-together. His family tried to catch up on the first and third Friday of each month. It was a regular thing.

That's not bad. Every couple of weeks, I think that's a reasonable amount of time to see family if they live close by, you know. Like every couple of weeks I think is pretty reasonable. Yeah, especially if like a lot of you live within the palace. Yeah, yeah, you can manage that. The get-togethers were usually pretty casual affairs organised

at the last second but on this particular evening, Dependra wanted to know in advance who was coming to the party. Okay. He got some RSVPs but apart from that it all seemed pretty normal. Just for catering purposes. Yeah. How many places am I staff setting at the table? And his girlfriend's like, oh, can you afford staff?

I didn't think you were able to. Oh, that's cute. Do you think that one staff member setting the table will have time? I'd have eight. I have people that act as my table and I eat off their backs. So people started arriving a bit after 8pm and Dependra left the party to go and get the Queen Mother, the matriarch of the family.

Okay. He picked her up in his car. She's also his grandmother, the Queen Mother, just for context. They returned to the party a bit after 8pm where the gathering was split into two groups. Okay, a bit of trivia. We're going to play Pictionary. Are we going in teams?

No, we're going to two rooms. Yeah, so then they could all devise a plan. They're going to win Pictionary. A bit of strategy. Yeah, okay. Two different games in different rooms and you rotate. Is that what's going on now? Exactly. Fun.

They were playing games because most of the guests were in the billiard room. Yeah. Or the billiard table. And next door in a room very close by. Sorry, Dave. You're speeding through that. So, in the billiard room there was a billiard room with a billiard table. And next door in a room very close by. Sorry, Dave. You're speeding through that. So in the billiard room there was a billiard table? Is that right? No, they just had balls on the floor. I don't know if you heard.

The royal family aren't very wealthy. They can't afford a table. But they still call it the billiard room. They just have a ball pit made of billiard balls. It's very painful for the children. Ow! It hurts. So most of the people in this, this is like the happening party.

This is where the younger people are hanging out. They're drinking. Playing billiards. Playing billiards, getting in the ball pit. And next door, very close by in another room, in a much quieter setting was the Queen Mother, the King, the Queen and some other older ladies. Yeah, okay.

A bit more civilised. Dippy's closest confidant, the King, the Queen, and some other older ladies. Yeah, okay. A bit more civilised. Dippy's closest confidant in the family was his cousin, Paris Shah. According to a documentary I watched called Zero Hour, which is a TV series, he was seen as above the law. Oh. And in the TV series they say he once killed two motorists during a hit and run and also shot a bouncer in one of Kathmandu's nightclubs and no charges were ever brought.

Frickin' hell. If you're going to know somebody who's above the law, I guess you want them on your side. Yeah, want to be your friend. I'm guessing that means that all these people are seen as above the law. Yeah, I guess so. Because he's like, you know, he's related to the king. Yeah.

But he's like the nephew. He's not even in line for the throne. No one seemed to notice early on in the evening that Dependra was drinking heavily, knocking back famous grouse scotch whiskeys. Scotch whiskey. I just love famous grouse, my favourite name for a drink. Yeah, that's amazing.

I just liked Jess sort of did a whisper echo. Scotch whisky. Yeah. Really setting the scene here. He suddenly appeared noticeably drunk to members of the family and stopped playing pool to sit on a couch. He then started smoking hashish or marijuana, which was seen as a very rude thing to do in front of his elders.

You do it in private. You don't smoke do in front of his elders. You do it in private. You don't smoke anything in front of your elders in their culture. Yeah, you do it in front of your youngers. Do they smoke things, the elders? I don't think so. I think it's just like, yeah, you don't smoke. You shouldn't be smoking at the party. Okay.

But, yeah, I think it's especially offensive if the king and your elders are there. Yeah, gotcha. Clearly not in a great way after the drinking and smoking, he started a fight with a guest. So his cousin Paris and younger brother Narajan decided to put the crown prince to bed to sleep it off. Sleep it off.

Sort of they carried him back to his bed. What's the old rhyme? It's beer then grass, you're on your ass, isn't it? Grass then beer, you're in the clear. Beer then grass, you're on your ass, isn't it? Grass, then beer, you're in the clear. Beer, then grass, you're on your ass. He didn't listen to the rhyme. Yeah, what about beer, then hashish, sheesh, you're fucked. Dave, that's good stuff, mate.

No need to go for a second draft on that one. That was perfect. Nailed it. Do you reckon we could put that on a T-shirt? Sell it at a market? I reckon we could sell that on our official merch store. That's right. Beer and hashish.

Sheesh. You're fucked. That's good stuff. That is good stuff. That is good stuff. Someone could design that for us. We'll get that in the shop pronto. Yeah, ASAP. Send that to us and we will sell it worldwide.

It's going to be big. It's going to be huge. It's going to be big. Fashion change forever that day. Jeez, you're fucked. And he was. They put him to bed. He's not in a good way.

And they go back to the party and everyone's like, people apparently, they're talking about it at the party, like, he didn't seem that drunk earlier. And they're like, oh, well. Anyway, now a lot of this recreation is based on that TV series Zero Hour as they recreated the whole night through testimonials. Okay. Through people that were there. After placing Dippy in his bed, Paris, his cousin,

put down his cousin's joints next to him and he noticed his drawer was open with some guns in it. Some guns. Some guns. A couple of handguns. Okay. In his bedside drawer. Yeah, it would be in his gun drawer, Dave.

The gun drawer. You don't have a gun drawer with just full to the brim with guns? I've got a gun room. Yeah, I've got a gun pit. No drawer can hold my collection. Neighbourhood kids playing in the gun pit that I've got out the front. I mean, and they dive in. We couldn't afford balls.

Not even snooker balls. But he didn't think much of it. This is because Dippy had a long history with firearms, having received his first pistol for his eighth birthday. That's nice. That's a good... What a good present. That's appropriate. And from there, would you believe it, guns became his obsession.

Okay. He was an avid gun collector and even on a computer, designed his own weapons. Okay. He designed something he called the perfect gun. The perfect gun. He called it that. The perfect gun. Very cool guy.

I'm picturing it like Homer's perfect car. It's just got too much going on. It's like a shotgun slash rocket launcher slash pistol slash flamethrower. It's got everything. It's got GPS. It's got a butt warmer on it for when you're out there shooting in the cold. Popcorn maker. He also had access to the palace armoury, which stored some serious weapons.

His military training and passion for hunting led him to be a great shot. Apparently, he was more accurate than all of his guards. That was a point of pride. Okay. Well, I don't think that should be a point of pride. I'd be concerned. Get better guards. Yeah, get better guards.

I want guards that are going to protect me. He's purposefully hiring guards that don't have good shots so that he can be better than them. They all get tested and anyone who's a great shot, they do not get hired because he's proud of being better than them. They have to be okay, but he has to be better. Yeah. They have to shoot, you know, that big square target.

They've got to hit the paper at least, you know, but no bullseyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's something he does. He's not even actually that good. He hits the third ring, so they have to be worse than that. If someone shoots the target, he's like, oh, and then he shoots them. Works out well. From close range, so it was quite easy to do.

Yeah, that's right. Oh, you got a bullseye? Well, so did I. Bang. And he still only wings them. Yeah. He aims with their head and somehow shoots their toe off. easy to do. Yeah, that's right. Oh, you got a bullseye? Well, so did I. Bang. And he still only wings them. He aims with their head and somehow shoots their toe off. And because of his passion for hunting birds around the palace

grounds, the guards were used to hearing gunshots at night. Right. Great. So no one's thinking anything. Still in bed, Dippy's forbidden girlfriend, Devyani, called him on his mobile, but he was incoherent when he answered and when she called back, he didn't answer at all. The unanswered calls were redirected automatically

to the palace's security office. Devyani asked if they would check on the crown prince. So they sent a couple of staff members up. They checked on him, but he dismissed them saying, I'm fine, I'm fine. Yeah, I'm just drunk. I'm just drunk. Leave me alone. Go get me some hash browns.

Hashish browns. Hashish browns. Put that in a t-shirt. Hashish browns. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can

demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. So the last anyone seen of Dippy, he's gone to bed and everyone's like, well, you know, I guess he's passed out for the night. At 8.45pm, the king rejoined the main party in the billiard room, leaving behind the queen mother and his wife, the queen, in that quieter room next door. Okay.

A few minutes later, Prince Dipendra, Dippy, unexpectedly walked back into the party wearing full military fatigues and carrying a rifle and a shotgun. Okay. Okay. But no one really took notice of him as they thought he was dressed to go out hunting like he often did. So nobody's worried that a very drunk man's just walked back into the room in military fatigues.

No, they're like, I guess he's going to go shoot some birds. All right. While really drunk. While really drunk and possibly high. But he did get everyone's attention when he walked up to his father, the king, who was engaged in a conversation, lifted his rifle and fired twice at his dad. The king fell and Dippy dropped the gun and left the party.

So he just walked up to his dad and his dad was like, what are you doing? And he just shot him twice. Far out. And this is the guy who's a good shot. A good shot. No, at point blank range he doesn't miss. Oh, my God.

I just realised that like I don't know what the name of this episode is going to be. So I don't know what's going to happen. So that did surprise me. That surprised me too. It's so funny. I thought it was just going to be like a power struggle, not whatever you call it, king-icide or whatever it's called.

King-icide. Regicide. Regicide. Dave, that's only if the king's name is Reginald. Which, let me check my notes. Oh, hang on, no, it's not. So this is just king aside. King aside.

So he shot him twice in the chest. His dad falls to the floor. Dippy drops the gun and walks back out to the garden and everyone was in shock. What? Some thought that a horrible accident had happened or the gun had just gone off because not many people were concentrating.

And those who had witnessed the violence were fully in a daze. Yeah, you're in shock. That is so unexpected. Yeah, everyone is like, what the hell? Is this some sort of a prank? Let's check the date. Wouldn't you be thinking if they orchestrated this? That's right.

A little bit of entertainment for the party? Is Ashton Kutcher about to walk out of a cupboard and say, you got punked? Yeah. You got Reggie punked. The king gets up and he's like, he's a rubber bullet, so he had a bulletproof vest on and he's like, ah. Got you.

No, one of the guests, Rajiv Shahi, the son-in-law of the youngest brother of the king, was a trained military doctor who was at the party. He rushed to the king's aid and tried to stem the flow of blood with his jacket. Wow. Next door, the queen and the queen mother, they had no idea what was going on.

They're far enough away that they don't hear the shots or they hear the shots and don't think anything of it. That's how big these places are. Yeah. Don't hear shots. Again, and people aren't freaking out because he goes hunting most nights, so you hear bullets. Yeah.

You hear shooting. So even the guards, they've got commandos on site for their protection. No one's noticed anything. No one really cares. Meanwhile, Dependra had gone back out into the garden to his gun bag that he had stashed out there. He replaced the shotgun but grabbed two further weapons, an M16 rifle and an MP5K machine pistol.

Machine pistol. That doesn't sound good. It doesn't sound good. Sounds like the perfect gun. Did he invent that? Yeah. Dependra returned to the party, went back in with the guns and when confronted by the king's brother, Durendra,

who told Dependra to stop what he was doing, Dependra shot him at point blank. Oh, my God. So he shot the king's brother, Durendra, who told Dependra to stop what he was doing, Dependra shot him at point blank. Oh, my God. So he shot the king's brother. His uncle? His uncle. From there, Dependra went on a spree. Cold and free of any emotion,

he was described as looking like a robot, expressionless like the Terminator 2, someone described him as. Great reference. Great reference, but it's like, are you talking about the T-1000 or Arnie's character? Be specific here, there's two Terminators in that movie. Which one do you mean?

Which one? Is this a critique of Arnie's wooden acting? What's going on here? He's playing a robot. Yeah, huh? Or are you referring to Robert Patrick? I mean, who are we putting down here? Yeah.

Anyway, he went on a spree and over the next 60 to 90 seconds he shot another 11 people in the room. Holy shit. I mean, you know, it takes us several minutes to talk about it but from him just walking out of his bedroom, shooting his dad, going out to the garden, it's like it's over in a flash. It's so quick.

So quick. You wouldn't have time to comprehend that the king was just shot and then maybe you're shot or but people like that's wild and people are walking up to him trying to sort of sort of talk him out of it and he just shoots him at point blank it's because like that's your it's it's close family too right so you're kind of thinking like you you're not thinking with fear, you're going like, oh, yeah, what's going on here? Trying to calm things down. Whoa, that's wild.

Shooting lots and lots of people. Paris, the cousin accused of the hit and run that is his close friend, reportedly selflessly shielded a group of women who, like him, came out unscathed. Wow. And I believe he was one of the few people that said, what are you doing, with a gun pointed at him, and Depender didn't shoot him.

He's one of the few people that wasn't shot. Whoa. Palace security had heard screams and shouts and radioed all units to attend the scene, but it took them minutes to reach the room and when they did, they found that the door was locked so they had to try and find another way in. Nobody had a key.

No, and these are armed commandos who could have taken him out. Dependra left the room after shooting 11 more people and went back out into the garden. The queen and the queen mother were safe in the room next door and had no idea what was happening. But someone informed the queen of the terrible events and she ran after her son Dippy, running into the

garden with her other son Prince Narajan. They think she was hoping to confront him to talk some sense into him. Oh, they think which means they don't know. Yes, because when she got there, Dippy shot her and his brother as well. Oh, my God. I didn't know this story at all. Me either. It is so wild.

And it's so recent and we were all alive. It's honestly one of the most wild stories I've ever come across in our show. This is awful. So he shot his brother, shot his mum, before finally turning the pistol on himself shooting himself in the head falling on a footbridge over a garden stream oh my god just like that the violence was over the military finally got into the room and started administering aid to survivors the king was still alive at this time but later died in hospital also dead was the queen their daughter Princess Shruti and their son

Prince Narayan, three of the King's siblings as well as one of their husbands and the King's cousin Princess Jayanti, King Birendra's first cousin. In total nine people had lost their lives. Whoa. Four more were injured in what is known as the Nepal Royal Family Massacre. Okay, so now we know the name of the episode. Yes. So that also means that everyone listening has known this was coming all along, I suppose. Jess and I have just been like, doop-de-doo. Jeez, they've taken this a bit lightly, aren't they?

That's what happens on all these episodes like that. There's often comments like, jeez, I've been a bit insensitive in the lead up to this. We're like blissfully unaware. We didn't know. We didn't know. It was the bloodiest slang of any royal family ever recorded, ever. Wow.

Think about all the kings and queens of the past that were brutal and knocking each other off left, right and centre. This is the worst. Almost the entire royal family had been wiped out in minutes. Far out. That's awful. Is this going to be like a King Ralph scenario? Well, almost unexpected to you probably,

but someone who was not dead was the gunman himself. Oh. Prince Dupendra, who'd shot himself in the head, had been taken to hospital where he survived on a ventilator. Oh, my God. And because, of course, he's next in line to the throne, whilst his family were cremated, he was declared King of Nepal. Holy shit.

I know. Oh, that's awful. And because Dependra had been declared king, the Royal Palace issued a statement claiming that the shooting had been the result of an accident when an automatic weapon went off. The Prime Minister at the time even said, quote, according to the information we have, the incident happened by an accidental firing of an automatic weapon,

seriously injuring the King, the Queen, the Crown Prince and members of the royal family. No-one believed this story and it did not help quash rumours of some sort of conspiracy. Whoa. Yeah, like, I mean, who's believing, what are they, they meant to believe that they were all standing in a line or something? Like it's pretty unlikely that an accident led to nine people dying

and four more being injured. I guess if it was an automatic weapon spinning around or something, that's what they'd do. I was trying to do that cool thing where you, like, flick it around before you put it in your holsters and it was going off the whole time. So, Dependra, despite the crimes, had been crowned the king. However, he never regained consciousness and he died in hospital three days later.

Okay. Right, okay. That's how we get to the three kings in three days. Dave, does that mean that if he survived, he would have served as king? Like, is it once you're king, you're above the law, you can't be, you know, is it anything like that? It's really difficult to say. I don't know. Apparently, members of the family that had been at the party that had seen him kill people and then heard that he was king were deeply upset by it. Yeah, look, I think that's quite understandable.

Yeah, they were like, I just found that extremely offensive. Yeah, I get that. I get that. So if he had survived, who knows? Maybe there would have been a conspiracy to cover it up to try and keep him on the throne. But his uncle, his father's brother and Paris' father, Guy and Endra,

was one of the few people not to attend the party and therefore survived. So he was named the next king, the king's brother. Oh, shit. So, like you said, three kings, three days. This was actually the second time that Guy and Endra had been named king because briefly for three months as a three-year-old, when his father had fled the country after a plot had been found out against him and they left the three-year-old behind, the three-year-old when his father had fled the country after a plot had been found out against him and they left the three-year-old behind the three-year-old was named king for three months and then the dad came back being a king's like riding a horse i've heard so for him

it'd be he just slipped straight back exactly but he wasn't the king this time so he must be the younger brother of the king that was just killed right yes so i guess his brother must have been he must have fled with the family. Was it like a home alone situation? He was the Kevin. They left the three-month-old behind. I think they were like, let's take the heir to the throne. Who cares about the spare to the throne?

So they left him behind. I haven't heard that before. That's good stuff. Spare to the throne. David, you are the pun master. That's definitely not one of mine. Definitely not one of mine. You are so bad, Dave.

Can't claim it. What are you like? What are you like? So the country of Nepal and honestly a lot of the world, the people that knew about it, I never knew about it as a 10 or 11-year-old, but they were truly shocked by the events of June the 1st. The nation went into mourning, some showing their sadness in different ways. Part of the grieving public took to the streets and rioted for several

days. The new king, Guy and Indra, appointed a two-man investigation team to look into the massacre. Over seven days, the duo interviewed more than 100 people, including eyewitnesses, palace officials, guards and staff. They concluded that Dependra had indeed carried out the massacre, but they drew no further conclusions. Wow. You know, seven days, like as if that's long enough for something of this magnitude.

Well, yeah, because, yeah, yeah. I was going to do a Craig David. Of course, on Monday. You start Tuesday, you go for a drink. Yeah. Making love by Wednesday. Interview survivors on Tuesday. And, of course, you chill on Sunday.

I just couldn't start it and I stopped I'm sorry it's great stuff good stuff this little like pretty shitty investigation and the fact that there were no further conclusions they're like yep he did it wow end of story this didn't help quash any rumors and many spoke of conspiracy many doubted that the popular crown prince that the people loved could have been responsible for such an unspeakable act. The act would set in motion an unstoppable chain reaction that would change their country forever. And to many, a few things didn't add up.

Let's see what you think of this. Okay. Dependra was right-handed, but had shot himself in the head with his left hand. Also, his pistol had been fired twice, but they don't know where the second bullet was fired. Oh, okay. Never tracked that down.

There might have been a deer passing by. He was a lover of hunting. When you were telling about this story, I'm like, it does feel like it is ripe for conspiracy theories because all the witnesses have pretty much been killed apart from, you know, a small handful. And, yeah, it just feels like it's so wild and it's exactly like I've been watching X-Files lately. So maybe this is why.

But there's a lot of that sort of faking suicides and these sort of things, putting the gun in the hand. And this has been the case in a in at least one episode where it was why did they they shot him with the right hand but they're left-handed or vice versa yeah like so jess you're a famous left-hander yeah very well known for being left-handed would you ever use your right for anything like shooting a gun or anything like that my left hand was a bit tired okay well i mean he had shot lots of people. But no, because it would just feel very wrong.

It would feel weird. But that's just me. Some people are, you know, ambidextrous or. It's true. And he's a great shot. Yeah. So imagine that over time you're like, I'm bored of shooting with this hand, I'll go with this hand.

There's stuff I can do with my right hand. Okay. That sounded so tough. Okay. Okay. No follow-up questions. Absolutely no follow-up questions. Thank you.

Thank you. Oh, God. How about this? An autopsy was refused on Dependra, as was help from Scotland Yard, who had offered to conduct a forensic investigation of the crime. They said no thank you. They said no thank you.

I mean, that's probably them just trying to... Yeah. Just get it sort of in the past, put it behind them. Yeah, that's right, because it was quite a chaotic event. It's a bit embarrassing, isn't it? But it's also like we can handle our own investigation. We don't need Scotland Yard to come in, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

Or not even pride, just like we're our own country. We don't need your help to investigate something like this. So you sort of get that. Maybe the family, some people don't like the idea of autopsies on their family members. It's just like a, so, but yeah, it does all add to the doubt about. It does add to the doubt.

It does feel like maybe it's a cover-up. Also, his residence in the palace was later destroyed along with possible evidence of the crime. That's just with events in the country rather than people destroying evidence, but that means people can't go and revisit it 20 years later and sort of open up. You know how they go to the grassy knoll now and you can't do that anymore because a lot of the place is destroyed.

People also asked, where were the palace guards and the aides? Why did it take so long for the commandos to respond to protect their people? Many have and still speculate that the whole thing was actually a cover-up, a planned event to possibly put King Guyonendra on the throne. They ask, why wasn't the uncle at the event? His son Paris also survived unscathed. Why was that? Okay.

And you could say that's because he's friends with Dependra. But, I mean, his mum and dad were pretty close to him as well, right? And he didn't have any trouble killing, like, brothers and sisters and parents. Yeah. Yes. Though a lot of people do say, well, the most accepted reason for his crazy behaviour was they denied him marrying his love. Yeah.

And they said they'd disinherit him. And a lot of the people shot were people that had told him, I don't think you should marry her. Yeah, okay. I mean, we've all got that cousin that we wouldn't shoot over our siblings, yeah? Yeah, that's true. Mine's called Liam.

Hi, Liam. Whatever happened, the new king, Guy Nendro, inherited a kingdom in turmoil. He was not as beloved as the royal family and many blamed him for what had happened. It was, you know, a bad look for him. Sure. How brutal.

If it was just as explained and he had just pure luck that he wasn't there, and he's grieving his whole family dying and then people are blaming him for it, oh, my God, that is a no. Yeah, they're saying, that guy we love couldn't have done it, but you could have, and he's like, but I didn't. He did. Fiercely Republican Maoist politicians rode a wave of public resentment for King Guy and Indra to take the majority in the Constitutional Assembly.

So they took advantage of the hate against him and stoked that up a bit. Yeah, right. I remember the Maoists are the ones that want to get rid of the king altogether. King Guy and Indra abided by the elected government for some time, but in 2005, this is obviously four years later, he dismissed the elected parliament to wield absolute but in 2005, this is obviously four years later, he dismissed the elected parliament to wield absolute power. Ah, I see.

They started coming up and saying bad things against him and he went, fine, I'll get rid of the politicians altogether and I'll just be king again. I'll be a classic king. And some say his mistake was to try and suppress the Maoists and the other major political parties all at the same time. Often you'd play them off against each other, but he went, no, you're all gone.

So it's difficult to control them all at once. King Guy and Indra promised that peace and effective democracy would be restored within three years. Okay. He said, give me 36 months, I'll get us back on track. But the period of direct rule was accompanied by a repression of dissent. So anyone speaking out against him was quashed. They got shushed.

Oi, oi. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Oh, they went full library rules. Yeah. Yeah, there were professional shushers on the streets. People tapping signs saying... I think you'd be all right at that, Matt. Sign tapper.

Pro shusher. Oh, pro shusher. Yeah, yeah. But I think I could also hold a sign that says, no bad mouthing the king and I could tap it while shushing. Yeah, see? See how good he is at that? You're really good.

So good. You're also really good at going up, up, up, up, up, up and putting your finger over someone's mouth. Yeah, yeah. I'll touch a stranger's lips. Honestly, that usually silences them, doesn't it? They're shocked. They normally go away.

Touch a stranger's lips. So he's quashed the political parties, but in April 2006, this is again from the Nepal government website, another people's movement was launched jointly by the democratic parties, so they came together, focusing most energy in Kathmandu, the capital, which led to a 19-day curfew. Eventually, King Gyanendra had no choice but to relinquish his power and reinstated the parliament.

Wow. And let me tell you, there is an old legend in Nepal dating back to 1769. Nice. Nice. That's when Prithvi Narayan Shah conquered the three kingdoms and declared himself monarch, so the founder of the Shah dynasty that this whole family has been a part of. The legend is the king was marching into the Kathmandu Valley

when he came across a sage or a mystic and offered him some yoghurt or soup. The holy man tasted it and returned the rest, declaring it blessed. Unwilling to eat the yoghurt that had already been tasted by the sage, he didn't want any more of it, the king threw it on the ground. Okay.

He went, yuck. The sage chastised the king for his pride and said if he'd eaten the yoghurt, every one of his wishes would have been fulfilled. Instead, the yoghurt had splashed across the king's ten toes, ensuring his dynasty would fall after ten generations. Oh. Guess what number King Gyanendra was?

He was lucky number 11. Wow. Not unlucky, only had 10 toes. Yeah. What if you'd only had 9? Oh, that's true. Maybe it's fortunate he had the full set. That's true too. Good point. You've got to think of a toe half full. So he's number 11 and on May 28, 2008

the newly elected Constituent Assembly declared Nepal to be a federal democratic republic abolishing the 240 yearyear-old monarchy and bringing an end to the world's last Hindu monarchy. Wow. If only that king had eaten some yoghurt. He should have eaten that yoghurt.

The country that believed their royals were living Hindu gods gave the surviving family members 15 days to get out of the palace. So they gave an eviction notice to the king. The palace is now a museum where you can go and see the royal crown jewels on display. That was in 2008. Nepal today has a president as head of state and prime minister heading the government. Although Guy Nendra is still alive, the last king, two decades after the massacre, there are still public calls for the monarchy to be reinstated. Some people want it.

Wow. The ABC in Australia reported last year, May 2021, quote, thousands of people gathered in Kathmandu seeking an end to the democracy and a return of King Guy and Indra. King, please come back and save our country, they chanted. We want the monarchy

back. Abolish the republic. Okay. So is this story over? We don't know. Wow. Dave, when you said Kathmandu, do you mean the capital city or do you mean a retail outlet for the hiking gear manufacturer? I meant both. There's actually a retail inside Kathmandu, if you can believe it. I can't believe it. But yeah, that is the end of the story so far. The Nepalese Royal Family Massacre. Well done, Dave. That is a great story. Well, it's not a great story.

Yeah, a hectic story. It's certainly one of my less fun stories but also it was so unbelievable. When I learnt about it, I was like, I've got to talk about this. Yeah, that is fascinating. Wow. And wild that it happened so recently and we had no recollection of it at all.

Yeah, because it sounds like, you know, like a massacre from 200 years ago or something. But, you know, it happened with automatic weapons in our lifetime. Yeah, wow. It's just so many sad elements to it as well, obviously, all the loss of life, but also that sort of forbidden love story and, yeah, just a lot many sad elements to it as well, obviously, all the loss of life but also that sort of forbidden love story and, yeah, just a lot of sad elements, yeah. Yeah. But that brings us to everyone's favourite section of the show

where we get to thank a few of our great supporters who get involved at patreon.com slash dogoandpod or dogoandpod.com and there's a bunch of different rewards what are some of the different rewards people get popper they can get uh three bonus episodes a month early access to tickets to live shows um one of the bonus episodes we do is phrasing the bar where we watch the entire discography of Brendan Fraser and it is an absolute joy. Oh, so good. I mean, so many bad movies but he is always so good.

What a man. What a man. The phrase. Another thing we like to do is a section called the fact, quote or question section which does a jingle, I think, goes something like this. Fact, quote or question section, which does a jingle, I think, goes something like this. Fact, quote or question. Ding.

He always remembers the ding. And to get involved in this, you sign up on the Sydney Schomburg level, then you get to give us a fact, a quote or a question. You also get to give yourself a title. People also sometimes offer brags and suggestions or really whatever you like. Anything they want. Anything you want.

It's up to you. So first up this week we have one from Jez Gleason who's given themselves the title of Head of Renaissance Costume at the Dugon Time Travel Agency. That is very handy stuff. That is good stuff. We talked about a while ago one of us was going to time travel back to the Renaissance.

Dave, maybe you? And you can't just go there in your smart, casual daily wear, your normcore clothes that you wear day to day. You'd probably be strung up as a witch. Whoa, what is this fabric you wear? Cashmere? Luckily Jez is here to make sure you fit in. I look forward to you speaking the language.

I think it's a lot just adding ye to a lot of stuff. Yeah, I think so. So Jez has offered a fact writing, Hello, Matt, Jess and Dave. One of my favourite historical figures is Mary I of England, daughter of Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon, a previous report subject. I genuinely bought, I think, about 12 books about her over the several Melbourne lockdown periods. I guess I averaged two books per lockdown. So I thought I could give you a fact about her.

Despite the historical popular belief, until relevantly recently, that she was an inept ruler who didn't know what she was doing and a political disaster because she was never educated to rule, she was the only one of Henry VIII's children to be sent to Ludlow at the age of nine. At the time, heirs to the throne were sent there to proceed over their own court. I said proceed. Precede? Whatever. Sorry.

I only read these when I'm reading them, okay? Yeah. So don't look at me like that, Dave, you dog. So in preparation for the eventual ascension to the throne, that's why they go to Ludlow. So, yeah, Mary was definitely taught how to be a monarch. Elizabeth I was declared a bastard at three after her mother's execution, and Edward VI became king at nine. So that's probably why Mary's sibling never went and

proceeded over Ludlow. Sorry that it was a bit long. Love the pod. Even have got my mum into it. Jez. Thanks, Jez. And thanks, Jez's mum. Yes. And thanks to Mary the First. Next one comes from Austin Horst, who has the title of Executive VP of Procrastination. Sorry it's taken me so long to chuck in another submission. A lengthy title, but a lovely title. Austin's asking a question, writing, Are you guys still planning to do Do Go D&D soon? I really enjoyed your first adventure. I've listened through a few times now.

It was awesome listening to you guys learn how to play and nailing it. P.S. I started listening to D&Ds for nerds after those episodes. Thanks for the introduction. Hey, no worries, Austin. Yes, that is something we talk about. It's actually last time we talked about it. We were talking about maybe having a Patreon stretch goal if we hit it and maybe starting to do a monthly D&D game on the Patreon. So maybe we should – that's a good reminder, Austin.

That is a good reminder. So if people haven't heard it, you can – if you join up on Patreon, that's one of our almost 150 bonus episodes. You instantly unlock access when you support the show. And, yeah, we did, what, a six-episode campaign where we all picked a character and learnt how we're doing with Adam Carnevale from Just Hands Pants. And he was our DM, Dungeon Master, and it was... So fun.

Great fun, wasn't it? Yeah. I was sleazy. That was fun, wasn't it? Yeah. My character was called Casino Musgraves. I was just hitting on everyone. Yeah, you're a pervert.

I was a perv. Perv. Jess Pervkins. Thanks for that reminder, Austin. Next one comes from Lily Morley, aka Tired IT Girl. Tired IT Girl. Oh, sorry. No, I'm kidding.

Tired IT Girl. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. It's very possible because IT was capitalised, so maybe it just wanted me to really hit it. Fight it, girl. Yeah. So Lily's question is, do you and your households have any inside references

for generic things around the house slash in life that if anyone else heard, they'd think you've gone mad? Or Jess, you'd have some of these, surely. Lily's answered her own question, which we always encourage. Yeah, please. The questioners to do. Writing, to answer my own question, my boyfriend and I always say, I'm going to take a shur by Shur Lloyd.

Am I saying shur right or is it shur? It's shur, isn't it? I don't know, whatever. I'm going to take a Cher by Cher Lloyd when we go to take a shower, inspired by the Desgusting video because at the beginning of the video, the girl says, I'm going to be singing Cher Lloyd by Cher Lloyd and it sounds like she's saying shower because of her accent. If you haven't seen the video, I would recommend.

That's funny. I mean, I have seen the video but I didn't remember that part. That's fun. It's such a good question and it is often the case, particularly when it happens when you live with friends or family or a partner that a lot of like the talk around the house sort of becomes shorthand and in jokes a lot yes yes totally um but i'm trying to think of i've gone blank as well yeah but i know there are but it's more what i'm thinking of was like

when i was living at the studio they were andy at one point uncovered a second, like the landlord had nailed off a little room and Andy was trying to figure out what it was and it turned out to be this toilet which was horrendous in there. Like it was, so we ended up, that was called the disgusting toilet. Who's using the disgusting toilet? I don't know if that's quite answering the question or not. Yeah, I think people, we ended up filming like a six-part sketch series in there where Alistair moved in.

Oh, that was that one. It was called the disgusting toilet apartment. I love that. But were people actually using it? Did it work as a toilet? Yeah, it ended up, yeah, Andy fixed it up and it ended up being a second toilet. The disgusting toilet's free if you need it.

Something we add I say at the end of things. Like for example, it started because I was cold one night. When we first moved into this apartment, it was very cold and I said I was getting into bed and I kept saying, brr, and I wasn't getting the appropriate sympathy that I required. So I said, brr, I say. And now we just say I say at the end of things a lot. It's a bit of fun.

It's sort of like acknowledge me. Brr, I say. Can you think of anything, Dave? It's hard, isn't it? I know. There must be so many. Most are nicknames for our dog. Oh, my God, yes.

I like to sing popular songs but just replace words with pup. Yep. My name is Alexander Hamill pup, for example. Yep. Yeah, I've told you one of ours, which is his name is Goosey. He is a good boy. There's a lot. We sing to the dog a lot.

We call the dog a lot of different things. Sometimes when we're talking to each other, we just refer to him as boy. Has boy been fed? Have you fed boy? How is boy? And that's it. If you like peanut, I'm free.

That's good. Yeah, that's yours. You can have that. That's almost too good to be honest. Peanut or puppy maybe? Live in La Vida puppy. Oh, live in La Vida puppy. Yeah, that's good stuff.

Thank you very much for that question, Lily. You know what? We're all going to go home and over the next few days just like these are going to come out a lot and be like, oh, I wish I thought of that one, that kind of thing. Yes, totally. Next one and final one for this week comes from Detective Herbert Covington and it's another question.

I love it. Detective's already got a title but he's given himself another title, which is Official Three-Person Bicycle Mechanic of the Patented Do-Go-On-Mobile. Very handy. Thank you. It does break down a lot. It does.

And the good detective has a question as well, writing, Howdy, all. I hope you're doing well. I've missed the podcast so much and I'm super behind since I've been in welding training for over six months. While I did have access to your lovely podcast, I put off listening to it because I was so tired and busy all the time that if I did listen, I wouldn't be giving it 100% of my attention and I would miss interesting info about topics as well as y'all's lovely banter. The long-winded prelude brings me to my question.

It says the Weekly Planet got the same treatment. I don't know if you'd need to bring them into this, detective. You know we're fierce rivals with those boys. Those naughty boys. Anyway, getting to his question, what is a piece of media you enjoy so much that you'll put off watching, listening to it until you can give it your absolute attention? For me, it's obviously this podcast.

Cheers to catching back up on six plus months worth of episodes. Hey, enjoy, hopefully. I think we've done some good ones over the last six months. Yeah. Remembering? Some good stuff in there. Some good stories told. Answer for me is none.

I will almost exclusively now put on a TV show and then be on my phone playing a little game. Oh, so you don't enjoy anything. I really struggle to actually focus on something. Is that sad? Have you just not found something you like enough to? As long as you're enjoying yourself. I went and saw Doctor Strange and the Multitude of Happiness or whatever

and he, through that, I found myself pretty quickly just on the phone. I was doing Wordle. In the cinema? What am I doing? I'm just paid to go see this movie in the cinema. And even then I'm... I think that's about right with that movie. For me, I frequently put off

the last episode of something because I don't want it to be over. Yeah. I didn't watch the last episode of Poirot, Curtain, Poirot's last case, for about 18 months after. This is the David Suchet TV. And then for me, I still haven't watched the last episode of The Last Dance, the Michael Jordan documentary because I was loving it so much.

Two years it's been since it came out. And now if I wanted to watch it, I'd have to go back and watch the first nine episodes again. But I was just loving it. I was like, oh, I don't want to watch it on my phone. I want to watch this properly because I've loved this series so much and then I've just put it off so much I've forgotten what

it was about. Yeah. Basketball mostly. That was Michael Jordan, Dave, was a big part of it. Very obvious. I'm actually a fan of his baseball career so. Well, that's touched on as well, but the I reckon rarely does a series end in a satisfying way.

So that's another good reason to not watch the last episode. I reckon it would happen like less than 10% of the time where I watch the last episode of something and go, that was great. But I think there's normally one series at a time that I'm enjoying and I haven't watched the last few episodes of Winning Time yet, which I was quite enjoying, and that's because I've been like, oh, I'm on the plane, I could watch it, or I'm tired at home, but I'm like, no,

I want to watch it when I can actually sort of relax and enjoy it. Another basketball one, that is. But, yeah, there's probably, I reckon there's one at any point I'm watching something that is like that, I reckon, on one of the new streaming shows or something. I've been binging X-Files and, yeah, but there's been a few episodes where I couldn't tell you much about what happened because I've been distracted by my phone.

Next, what we'd like to do is thank a few of our other great supporters. And Jess normally comes up with a little game here based on the topic at hand. Ooh, that is a tough one. On a massacre episode. Yeah, I think you might have to go tangential. Yeah. Maybe a forbidden love. Who their forbidden love is.

Yeah. And maybe it could be a person or whatever. It could be a thing. Yeah. What do you reckon, Dave? Forbidden love? Yeah, let's give it a crack. Let's have a go.

Who or what is their forbidden love? All right. Well, I'd love to kick it off if that's okay with you. Yeah. And first up from Werribee in Victoria, home of the Open Range Zoo, it's Jessica Bickham. Jessica Bickham has a forbidden love with the giraffes from the Werribee Open Range Zoo.

Oh. Their love is kept apart by several fences. I love the Werribee Zoo. I've been there a few times over the last few years just to get out and about a bit. Yeah, the zebras are amazing just to see them. Well, last time I went there, they walked up, because it's sort of an open range zoo.

You probably figured that from the name. Yeah, they walked right up to the bus and I'm like, holy fuck, that's a real giraffe right there. You know, it was like that surreal moment. Whereas I've been to other zoos around the world and you know they're normally in like a cage thing and you're like yeah that's a zoo that's a giraffe whatever it's almost like you're watching one on tv do you often get giraffes and zebras mixed up yes i do dave and i we talked about it years ago that we wanted to go on an African safari at one point.

That's still on the cards, Dave? That's still my number one dream holiday destination. Whereabouts was it again you wanted to go? I'd like to go to the Atosha National Park in Namibia. My dream. Yeah, I'd love it. I mean, if I'm getting blown away in Werribee, you know, I mean, if I'm getting blown away in Werribee, you know,

then I imagine if I could get over there, my head will explode. You'll say, holy fuck. Jessica, hopefully your secret romance with the giraffes works out okay. Next I'd love to thank from London in Great Britain, Jamie Alcantara. Jamie Alcantara, forbidden love, of course, being with the bees. You know, like that Nicolas Cage scene where he's like, the bees, oh, bees. The wicker man.

Yeah. I don't know that. I've never seen it, but Tony Martin uses it a lot in Sizzletown. Whenever bees are mentioned, he plays the clip of Nicolas Cage yelling out, ah, it's the bees! The bees! Jamie's got a forbidden. He also knows that the bees are kind

of, they're doing it tough, and he knows that him and the bees can't procreate more bees, so he feels some responsibility there to, you know, maybe certainly the bees' parents do not approve. They're like humans have been part of the reason why we're in such, in this mess in the first place. Yeah, now you want to waste the opportunity to repopulate

by running off with a human. No. I won't allow it. Bzz, bzz, bzz, bzz. And finally from me, I'd love to thank from York in Great Britain, it's Nathan Bower. Nathan Bower. Obviously York is very posh, we know this from one person

who told us that once a few years ago when we were in Leeds. Nathan is in a secret relationship with their driver. Oh. Forbidden love. That is sexy. The limo driver. The limo driver. Scandal.

That's hot. That's actually hot. We love that. That is real hot. Yes. Love that very much. Thank you to Nathan, Jamie and Jessica. Boppa, do you want to thank a few?

I would love to thank some people. I would love to thank from Reservoir in Victoria, surname unknown, but I'd love to thank Lockie. Ooh, Lockie. Lockie in a forbidden romance with Lakey. A sentient lake. Oh, okay. A sentient lake.

Not a person named Lake. No. But in fact a sentient lake. And why can't Locky and Lakey be together? I think that some people would look down on that. How dare you swim in my wife? Yeah, constantly trying to fence off his wife. But at the same time wanting to liberate her to be free.

Yeah. I don't want to, you know, honey, I don't want to hold you back. I'm just trying to keep people out of view. But then, but yeah, he realises that the most joy Lakey ever has is when people are frolicking within her. So, yeah, it's tough. Yeah, it's tough, isn't it? I don't envy you, Lockie or Lakey, but we thank you for your support.

Next for me, I would love to thank from Harold's Cross in Dublin and obviously in Ireland, an incredibly Irish name, which, I mean, as we learned a couple of weeks ago on the Gronyer episode, I'm not going to sit here and laugh or be a dick, but I don't know how to pronounce this name. Dave, could you Google it? All right. But it's, I mean, there's a BH in there, so it's got like a V sound.

It looks like it would be something like Aviana. That's an absolute guess. Oh, I'm going to have to watch a YouTube video. Yeah, it's the only way. Okay. A-veen. A-veen. But there's an A at the end as well, so it might be Av.

Oh, so I was pretty close. Yes. Maybe Avena. Avena Hobson. Please feel free to let us know how we went there. We really had a stab there. I know BH is a V sound, so I had that at least. But a beautiful part of the world, Dublin.

We love Dublin. We love Dublin. Oh, those hot birds you have over there. Oh, my God. Well, that's the forbidden love. Hot magpie. Yeah. Those sexy, sexy magpies.

Holy shit, they're beautiful. Yeah, forbidden because we want them for ourselves. Yeah, give it. Give us that bird. I want to love that bird. So congratulations. And I hope, obviously, if you're in Dublin, you would see those birds around a lot.

And I hope that's not too painful for you, you know, because, you know, distance and time heals all wounds. But when you're seeing the thing you love the most all the time, it must be very difficult. That's tough. That's tough. Finally, for me, I would love to thank from, what is this, Wyala in South Australia.

I would love to thank Isaac. Isaac. Isaac. One Z, two A's. That's fun. Yalla In South Australia I would love to thank Isaac Isaac Isaac One Z Two A's That's fun One K One K

Isaac And an I I just wanted to The I was being left out Forbidden love With The Mona Lisa Wow

Can't take that off a wall About a month ago We did the episode about Marriage equality in Australia and talked about a few batshit moments in Australian politics. YL has reminded me of one of the other classic ones where Labor MP Craig Emerson did one of the most awkward press conferences out in one of the yards at Parliament House.

He had a little tape recorder and he pressed play conferences out in one of the yards at Parliament House. He had a little tape recorder and he pressed play and it was the music to a horror movie by... Oh, Skyhawks. Skyhawks. But he changed the words to, No wayella wipe out here on my TV. No wayella wipe out here on my TV. No wayella wipe... Oh, my my TV. No way Yala wipe.

Oh, my God. It doesn't work at all. It doesn't work. It was brutal. Very, very brutal to watch. Yeah, talking about jobs being wiped out in his home electorate or something like that. Yeah, anyway.

I see. That's great stuff. That is good stuff. But back to Isaac and Isaac's forbidden love with the mona lisa what's the what's the issue you can't take mona lisa home yeah exactly i mean start a life together there's people lining up all the time for a photo and you're like can i have some privacy yeah do you mind uh her eyes are following me around the room, okay? For your eyes only. Yeah, there's a reason you can't bloody touch, okay?

Look but no touch, thanks. That is my wife. On you, Isaac. And I would like to thank from Mitcham here in Victoria, Steph Kendall. Steph Kendall. What do you reckon? What's Steph Kendall's forbidden love? Steph Kendall's forbidden love is Keanu Reeves.

Oh, it's hard. It is hard. But Steph knows that she and Keanu, well, what they have is electric. She can't be with him. Can't be with him. It's ethereal. Is that anything? It's one of those things of like right person wrong time Do you know what I mean?

That's so sad It's so sad It's actually really sad Sorry Steph to bring it up I know it's a bit of a sore point for you But yeah, it's beautiful And maybe one day they'll make it work But for now it is forbidden

Sorry You can't be with Keanu I meant ethereal. All right. You said ethereal. Oh, did I? Yeah. I think I said it with a f, not a th.

Oh, I see. I feel like I merged two words together, which is my right. And how dare you try and stop me speak my truth, which is ethereal. A made-up word. No one has stopped you. I won't have it, Jess. You won't silence me. Which is ethereal. A made-up word. No one. Jess, that's it. No one has stopped you. I won't have it, Jess. You won't silence me. Oh, shut up.

Oh, here we go. Being shushed again at the library all over again. Yeah, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush. I would also like to thank from the Netherlands, from I believe it's part of The Hague, I would like to thank Tim Van Rossum. What's part of the Hague. I would like to thank Tim Van Rossum. What's part of the Hague? I believe the city name that it says here.

Yeah, and what's that city name? Because this is what you did to me recently. Oh, yeah, the Hague. I'm saying that right. It's absolutely perfect. That's right. S. Gravenhage. Yep, thank you very much.

I appreciate your support there for Tim Van Rossum. Tim. Matt, what is Tim's forbidden love? Tim Van Rossum. Forb Matt, what is Tim's forbidden love? Tim Van Rossum, forbidden love with a possum. And why is it forbidden? It's a bit cross, isn't it? Yeah. Well, it's mainly because his neighbours hate the mating sounds of possums.

That's pretty full. Oh, yeah. They also don't love the idea that the possum's name would become Possum Van Rossum. They're like, get on the nose, actually. The possum's name is Possum. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Dave has gone so petty that he is now listening to how to pronounce it. He's taking his headphones out, Matt, so you can say whatever you want about him. He's putting his headphones back in. Here we go. Ready whatever you want about him. He's putting his headphones back in. Here we go. Ready to nail it. Svarken Haffen. Thank you so much.

That felt offensive. You were not close at all. That felt offensive. Svarken Haffen. No, that feels offensive. Can you hear that? I think he nailed it. Svarken Haffen.

Okay. Dave's got heritage from that part of the world, that vague area. That's right. My uncle lives in Amsterdam, you know. It's good stuff. You know, I think you got it. So just the last one, a shout-out to Dave-o. Yes, let's see if I can pronounce this one.

Sunny Bank. Incorrect. Incorrect. It's funny bank in Queensland. Logan Husky. It's funny bank in Queensland, Logan Husky. Ooh. It's Sunibonk. Logan Husky is one of my favourite names.

I love it so much. That's an incredible name. That is such a good name. So good name, Logan Husky. All right, who's got a forbidden love for Logan? Logan Husky, forbidden love with his music teacher. Oh, no. They're the same age.

You know, they're both adults. But people, the other students are like her only love's allowed to be with the music. So other class members have put a stop to it. Right. Jealousy, do you reckon? Yeah, it seems like jealousy. But they just, yeah, they're like to them she's only a music teacher,

but to Logan she's so much more. That's so pedestrian of them. I know. It's a very weird take that they've had. She is nothing but a music teacher. Wow, that is rude. Yeah. Disappointing.

Well, there you go. I'm sorry, Logan. I'm sorry it just wasn't meant to be. Logan Husky, what a name. What a name. Thank you so much to Logan, Tim, Steph, Isaac, Lockie, Nathan, Jamie, Jessica and Jess. The last one there in the middle from Dublin.

Aviana? Avena. Oh, yeah, it from Dublin. Aviana? Avena. Oh, yeah, it looks more like Aviana. Avena. Thank you so much. Fantastic. Such a great name. Either way.

The last thing we'd like to do is open up the doors to the Triptych Club, which is a club, an exclusive club for supporters who have been supporting us for three straight years on the shout out level or above. And in this club, you get lifetime entry. Once you're in, you're in for life, whether you like it or not. And it's a beautiful place. You come in, you can enter anytime, kick back, enjoy, you know, the ambiance. I'm on the door.

I've got your name. I'll read it out. You'll be welcomed in. The crowd of previous inductees will be there chanting along to your name as Dave hypes you up with some pretty weak wordplay and then Jess will hype Dave up because he normally realises that he's done a pretty poor job. Can we turn this guy down?

Jess also makes a cocktail based on the topic of the day. Fuck, yeah. And, Dave, you also book a band. Who's the band you've booked this week? You're not going to believe this. I've actually booked a band from Nepal, our first Nepalese band live in the club, I believe. That is hard rock band Cobweb.

Ooh, Cobweb. I like it. That is good. I like that name. Been rocking since 1993. So you can come in, you can enjoy the sounds of Cobweb. I like it. That is good. I like that name. Been rocking since 1993. So you can come in, you can enjoy the sounds of Cobweb with a full royal banquet I've put on for you. However, while you enjoy this royal banquet,

there are going to be some people who are better dressed than you and clearly have more money than you being very patronising. Going, oh, is that what you eat for dinner, is it? Okay. So it is going to be, you know, great food, but probably not the best experience. And, yeah, so I can't wait for Cobweb to play the after party, but the main show, of course, is the induction of our new Triptych member.

Only one this week. You ready for this? Oh, only one. Oh, a numla makes an O longer, doesn't it? It makes it from O to U. Is that right? I think so. I'm going to go with that.

From Lurach in Deutschland, it's Dominic Schwind. Schwind. Well, some people like to schwindle their way into our club, but not you, Dominic. Not you, Dominic. We're rolling out the red carpet. Go on in. Yay, Dominic.

No schwindling for you. You don't need to schwindle. See, Matt, and you were saying, oh, it's pretty poor wordplay. You wouldn't have thought of that. You would have said like, oh, Dominic. You know, you would have done something shit. I would have been like, dominating. Yeah, nothing as good as Schwindl.

That sucks. That is awful. Oh, my God. How do you look at yourself? I don't hear the wind. I hear the Schwind. As time goes on, looking in the mirror is a bigger battle every day. But welcome into the club, Dominic Schvind.

I can't believe how many great names we've had today and that is just another one of an all-time greats. So that pretty much brings us to the end of the episode. Now, anything else we need to say, Boppa, before we go? That you can head over to our website, dogoonpod.com, and that's where you'll be able to find a whole bunch of information. You can suggest a topic and you can buy yourself some new merch.

Oh yeah. We've got some great stuff up there and we'll be adding heaps more in the coming weeks, months, etc. So keep checking that and check out our socials at dogoonpod across Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and you can always email us at dogoonPod at gmail.com.

Fantastically said. Thank you. Hey, mind if I add one thing? No. That is if you want to tune in next week, we'll be back then with another episode. What? We'll say thank you so much for listening and until then,

I'll say goodbye. Laters. Bye. Bye. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.