Two In The Think Tank - 35 - The Green Children of Woolpit

Episode Date: June 22, 2016

Two green children appeared in near the small village of Woolpit in rural England in the 12th Century... who were they? Why were they green? Where did they come from? It's a bit of a bloody mystery, really. Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. Hello and welcome to Do-Go on. My name is Dave Warnke and you are listening to me and I am accompanied by Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart, the duo That flew oh well one of them flew in tonight. Hello Matt. That's you. You've come straight from the airport sir Hey Dave how's it going? Someone like we just read about half an hour ago someone complimented my rhyming skills And I was like gonna open with the rhyme nothing rhymes with duo Matt Stewart

Stop the tape. No, Matt, you genuinely have Fluo in here tonight. And you also have Colden Fluo. Yep, I'm on the, you can hear my Boswinge, that's a Luzzinge of Gokawa Ram. Oh yeah, this two episodes in the row have been seeking one more or another. No, no, you've recovered and but two weeks ago you had the horrible hangover Right, which again not that much sympathy and also we didn't make such a fuss when I had come straight from the airport when you flew when I flew But your name doesn't rhyme with flew. Oh good point. Yeah, it's true. Good point But if I ever come straight from a GERKEN festival, oh Straight in there we could talk about it. I'll be rhyming all night when when you come from a GERKEN festival. Ah, straight in there. We can talk about it. I'll be right in all night. And when you come from a...

Nothing runs with Warnakie. That's right. Or Dave. Dave. That's right, I want to come from there. I feel like that one Dave is well known for his rhymes. Er, can you give us a good rhyme for both Dave and Warnakie? Dave.

Dave Stonakie. Yeah, great. Stonakie, I'm not so sure. No, I'm very good. Er, Dutch,onicky and not so sure. No that's very good. Dutch, Dutch word. Oh okay. What does it mean? What does it sound like it means? Place the store you key. Correct. Can you imagine? I can. It's not an in one. The cave where you store your key festival. I make sense. That makes sense. So elaborate. It's just I mean it's just a little... Can I just put mine on the table?

I might leave it here. No, no, just put mine on like on the table I might leave no no you know you have like a spare key and some people hide under a fake rock I don't do that I dig a cave Batman style but just for the key because I don't have money for a Batmobile are you judging me for having my keys just here on the table like an idiot? well it was silently yes very enough well you just did it out loud all right I'm thinking out loud look at the wall Yes, very much. Well, you just did it out loud. All right. I'm thinking out loud. Oh

Look at the wall I can't think some boring things. Oh So early for a pause arm What else and you don't edit those out in your episodes, you leave like the pause on. Yeah, you leave the pause as well as I like I cut them. Early on I was brutal with Maddie. I'm brutal. If there's a pause I cut it so we seem really slick. I, yeah, I've been getting pretty slack on my edit so I heard one episode where I left in a thing that clearly wasn't meant to be. Yeah, like our Indian takeaway being delivered.

Yeah, mate, be there in five minutes. Did I leave that in? Fuck, probably. Probably. I did leave in a thing saying, me going, hey, can you say that again? We could use that. Well, now there's the second time you've left this in. Yeah, and you'll leave it in too.

You won't even edit this out. Oh, Matt. Oh, Matt. Sorry, guys. I said I highly standard. Hey look if you don't want it in the show don't say it. That's a great point. That is a great point. If you don't want to leave a pause, don't leave a pause. I wanted to leave that pause. Okay great. I wanted to leave that. Yes. Yeah I wanted to leave it to. I'm

nearly giggled and I'm glad that Dave spoke because I need to leave that port. I wanted to leave that port. Yes. I wanted to leave it to. I'm nearly giggled and I'm glad that Dave spoke because I need to settle down with my giggling. Please settle down. Settle down. Anyway, yeah. So, Matt, it is your turn to do a report. It is, yeah. It's good, is it?

You've been researching this at the Sydney Airport on the plane in the taxi ride here. When you got here, made us wait an hour. Now here we are. So we're expecting greatness from Stuart. With the fluo. Stuart with the fluo. Yeah so my question to you, did you just say how we start with the question?

No we do start with the question. Guys if you haven't caught up, is that 35? Yeah why are you starting at 35? What about the new listeners? Well, because they might have sent in topic. Yeah, OK, fair enough. Dave, do this deal, explain what the podcast is. Guys.

I haven't already turned off based on us talking about nonsense. Well, we take it in turns to do a report, talk the talk on a certain topic that the other two don't know what is going to be set about. Matt, as your turn, you always go into our hat, which is our listener suggested sort suggested sort of compile. A little archive of what you guys have tweeted. That's a wearing hat.

I'm wearing that. I always wear that hat. It makes it very difficult for me to get in there. Yeah, I can never get in the hat. I'm a hat hog, but you guys are always welcome to come by. I'll dip Smellid, lift the lid and let you in. And we always start with a question to get on topic. So that also Matt was going to go into. Matt, take it away.

Yeah, you ready for the question? I'm ready. So ready. Here's the question. Okay. And you know how my questions are often great. Well, tonight's today. This time's no exception.

What? Great question. First word for a question. I've got to say. What was the biggest mystery in rural England in the 12th century? Oh, obviously. Arguably, actually. What was arguably? Because there's so many spring to mind. Arguably, I should get it. What was arguably? Because there's so many spring to mind Angels in the outfield was it The mystery of why they cast Mel Gibson What? William Wallace trying to think of things that happened in rural England and that's a vaguely 12th century. Wow Braper. Yeah, that's not even England. Yeah, but Scotland.

But Brutal! It's so rural England that it becomes a new country called Scotland. Oh, I love when it does that smug eyebrow. A little head wobble. Yeah, he loves it. The brows are down now, but they're coming back. Alright Matt, we obviously have no idea. Is it any hint that will,

or is it like a thing that we probably won't have heard of? Well, I don't know how much you've been looking at the hat. You may have heard of it from the hat. I told you I can't get a glimpse in there. Oh yeah, right, that's true. He's dipping his lips. He's lifting the lid. I can see so many secrets.

I can't see anything from the 12th century. You see the light coming out. Yeah, Dave, don't go towards the light. All right, this week's topic is the green children of Woolpit. The green children of Woolpit. I don't know what that means. I don't know either, but I'm assuming it's something, was this parody on the Simpsons?

Well, it's got to be what is an episode of Simpsons. That was an episode of Simpsons. Why isn't it? No, they did enough. Anyway, I'm... You keep promising a Simpsons episode coming up. Is that still coming? No, this pen doesn't work, it's Matt. Keep asking for one, and then Matt, you tell me that I should do it. But...

Alright, I will do it. I will do one. You feel too much pressure. I feel the pressure now. Because I'm a big Simpsons fan. I think you'll do it, Justice. I believe in you. I just love the jokes though. I don't know the too much of the back but maybe that'll be the fun part. I'll be the back story. Yeah, cool. I tell you I was down in Tazzy and we caught up with a couple of listeners. Oh, let's give him a shout out.

The Dan who put the Simpson in the hat and he was asking when when you were getting onto it. I said he's I told him and I thought I wasn't lying. I said you were working on it. Oh dear. All right Dan, this is a real kick out of the house. Yeah good. And also Russell is a super nice guy as well. He's sending some good stuff. He's nice to get down there in the Lonnie. They came for you guys to get down. Yeah. You guys should get down. Get down. I think I might do our first ever live episode from Longestan. That would be cool. That would be cool. We could long system as the first topic or tazzy. Oh That would be cool. Which is a state in Australia for us. Yes I was an island state of the big main which we do kind of need to mention because a couple weeks ago

We asked people to let us know where they were listening from and we've had huge responses Oh my goodness, and people are scattered all over the place, which is so exciting for us. We're taking most continents. Yeah, it's really cool. No Antarctica, what the fuck? No. How the fuck, penguins?

There aren't penguins there. Yeah, they're penguins. And Antarctica? Yeah. Definitely penguins. Yeah, Arctic, they're not. They're the, that's where the polar bears are. OK, maybe I'm thinking no polar bears in Antarctica.

No polar bears. Well, they're not thinking no pole bares in the country. No pole abares. Well, they're not really anywhere anymore. Poor bastards. Well, pretty much. Well. And I just realized this topic, this is the first one we've had a double. This is their second suggestion that's had an episode done. This is Venoblee at Rewind Turtle.

Oh, Rewind Turtle. It also had the Turkmenistan Turkmen-Bassia, which was a great topic. A brilliant topic, so based on expecting great things. Yeah, based on previous recommendations. And also, congratulations on the first repeat suggestion, making it to the pod.

Amazing. Sentences are hard, aren't they? Yeah, well, let's just rewind that turtle and... Yeah, yeah. Well, let's rewind that turtle and... Oh, yeah. So what's the topic again? Green children. The green children of wool pit. Of wool pit.

I'm running it down because it's confusing, okay. I love it. Green children of wool pit. I will definitely say this is a better topic than it is going to be in episode, but... What makes you say that? Well, I mean, it's a bit loose on information. So I reckon if we were there for it, and we could have chatted to the kids themselves.

In the top century. Yeah. But hey, isn't that the case with all of our podcasts? If we were there, you know, like if we were in the Beatles, my Beatles report would have been a lot better. Oh, I think we would have been. Well, you've got to have a couple of stories to tell, I reckon.

But instead, I didn't. I had nothing to tell. Now, when you put it like that, that does make me feel a little better. Because I was coming in here kicking myself literally on the apple. No, I watched you. I was like, what are you doing, buddy? Why are you kicking yourself? I went in there in the 12th century talking to the green children. I know. You piece of shit. Yeah, you dog, you sick dog.

You sick, low dog. Anyway. So, tell us about the green children of Woolpit. Well, in around mid 12th century during the troubled reign of King Stephen of England, or so. King Stephen. Yeah, and I've never heard of that guy. That's a shit king name. Question number one, is that with a V or a P-H? Oh yeah, V question. P-H. P-H. King Stephen of England, is that like, Stephen the first or is he the last person last?

I think he might be the first and last. I think he was a... Yeah, because King Stephen is a dumb name. I think it was just... Not Stephen, don't ever come with Stephen at all. I quite like the name Steve. King Stephen feels like... King Stephen.

Yeah, he would have been played by somebody was so Lucy. If there was a movie remake, he would have been made by like Jim Carey. Yeah. That sort of thing. Oh, King Stephen. Look at him. He's an American and he's a king. I'm pretty much just doing the Serlana King Ralph, but he's an American and he's a king. I'm pretty much just doing the storyline of King Ralph, but he's an American and he's a king because all the other family died in a weird photo accident. That's perfect. Yes, you're spot on. Good.

So I'm sorry to any Stevens out there. I remember him with your name. I quite like your name, but not as a king. It's like Queen Jess sounds dumb. Yeah, it does sound a bit silly. Sounds dumb. Yeah, it does. See, silly. Yeah, it does. Seek King David. Whoa! Thank you. Even King Matthew. Pretty sick.

Yeah. King Jessica, not a thing. Yeah, I'm not yet, but bloody hell. Just tell you what. Let's be the police. Let's be the police. Let's bloody Greenies get their way, I'm around. What do King Jessica's, will all be King Jessica? All have one name and no one will get offended. And Jessica will be a dog as well. Like, the dogs will end up being allowed to be kings if we let this rot set in.

If we let women be kings, next is the bloody dogs. So, during the troubled reign of King Stephen. I love the prefacet with the troubled reign. We were already down in King Stephen, now it's a troubled reign. He's lost me. I've taken that directly off a man who I'm leaning on relatively heavily for this report. The topography of King Stephen, he described his brain as troubled, which is troubling, filth honest.

And he was talking it up, so. But I like to imagine the trouble is just that he just can't get rid of all the snakes in his castle. It's like, ah, I'm snake-ish! Another one! Every cavity opens up, there's just flying out of there. So you say castle or castle? I say castle, but I just said castle then.

Castle. Castle. I'm on the castle man. Yeah. Castle. The castle. The castle. The castle.

And I say new castle for a city. New castle. Yep, it's castle. I'm sorry that I said castle everybody. So the guy, I'm, I've, uh, uh, Brian Hortons, a guy I read a bit of of and he is he Brian with a why or an eye? No, no, he spelled it right. No, what I think that's sort of the But he just he described he just rubs Stevens Rain has troubled so I'm only basing it on that right that and the fact that he had too many snakes But other sources have actually said that it was during the

reign of King Henry II. It was the following King. And that's a perfectly good King name. You have your that? Yeah. I'm having to have that eight times, are you? Yeah. Let's have good that is. That's weird, but is it only because it's been eight times that you have your... Maybe I'm just used to it. And maybe I just hadn't heard of King Stave. Maybe it'll grow on me. After me at the end of the episode. Yes, Steve.

Steve. Steve, you boy. Steve, you boy. Steve. King's Steve. I'm sorry. During the harvest, Rieper's working the local fields of Walpett, which is the small town in Suffolk.

Suffolk. It was in Suffolk, right. They've, the Rieper's found two children, a boy and a girl. Uh, they were, they found them by a wolf pit, which is where the town got its name. Wolf pit. I don't want to why I wasn't called wolf pit. Wolf pit?

What's a wolf pit? Like a good question. What do you reckon? I was thinking a pit of wolves. Basically, I think if the pit has done its job then it will be a pit of wolves. Is it supposed to cat- Is it gonna trap them? Yeah. Ah! I kind of thought we were like where wolves would make their own. Yeah, I guess they do.

Because once they're trapped in there. Once they're trapped in there. As they starve to death. I don't know what they do with the wolves. I don't wonder if it was to catch him to use him for meat for or To stop them from eating their stuff or yeah, just to pulling sleds probably yeah, you're accurate. Yeah Yeah So so you bit inside the wolf pit they found a kit two kids inside the wolf pit No, besides beside it these two kids Looked completely normal except for a couple of things.

The first one, which I reckon you could probably guess from the title of the show. Okay, hang on, let's guess Dave. They looked happy that they hadn't fallen in the wall pit. Yeah. Oh, one of them had one brown eye, one blue eye. I don't know. Okay, no we get this. Oh, potentially.

One of them was bigger than the other because I had a growth split or they were different agents. Oh, there twins No, okay now we close to that are you know we getting close? No, jaundice It's more. That's more yellow. Yeah, first one their skin was completely green completely green completely green So I'm surprised yeah, but I know I'm wondering what kind of girl, do they look painted? Would they? Yeah, well that, I mean, because it's so long ago that it's not, no, 100%.

Well, they're sort of tinder green. Some people reckon that maybe even the language has changed over the years and the green back then might have been a bit more yellowy than what it means now. But I also said, people say green like a leaf. Wow that's quite green. Which is quite green. Unless of course we're talking like a red leaf. Yeah it's not green at all. Or a skin colored leaf. Yeah. Or it's awesome and they're kind of a yellow. It sounds very confusing. Yeah. There's so many different factors here isn't there?

Second, their clothing was nothing like the reapers had ever seen before. It was like it was not of their time, or their place or time. It was just weird, weird clothing. And thirdly, they did not speak English. In fact, they spoke a language that was completely unknown to the local residents. Wow, this is intriguing, can I say? Well, I'm also, we're recording this at night and I hope it doesn't get too spooky. Nah, what's the name? Is there like a description of their clothes? I wonder where they were in the room. I wonder how you...

Is it like a tinfoil suit? Tinfoil? Yeah, they were... Wine shirt. Yeah, matching wine shirt. Well, that's crazy. That would have been a fun time. And joppers.

Quite crazy. Just went to the 90s because this is going to slay. matching wine just well that's crazy that would have been jobless just went to the nannies because this is gonna sly yeah no that's that's that's what they were cool good job Dave are the children wandered around bewildered for quite a few minutes once the reapers saw them so they're the reaper that's a very terrifying

name it is that's like I like it the harvesting fire. Yeah, yeah, they're just reaping the harvest the crops wow this sounds Reaper like yeah, the grim pretty grim to the sound pretty Um, so they yeah, they the the Reaper sort of observed them wandering around for a bit before they got them and took them to the village They got them. They got them. We got them. I got him. I raped him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. We got him. Go to me mate Sorry Dave. What could you repeat that? I do quite good All right mate are you having a good time in the sack? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. I think he's saying he's loving it He loves the sack. He loves the sack I think it'll learn a little thing or two from What's the girl's egg? I think we can all learn a thing or two from BROP UP BROP UP BROP UP

What's the girl's egg? BROP UP BROP UP BROP Oh okay similar She loves the sack Maybe we can put him in the same sack Save on sacks

Please do go on Or as he would say BROP Because no one could understand the language that they were speaking, they were taken to Sir Richard Decalney, perhaps. They thought he might be the man with the answers. Because he also spoke, well didn't, he also didn't recognize the language either. But he was sort of like the town genius. He was just a knight.

He was just a knight. He was just a knight. We better take him to the knight. I'm going to pop down to the knight. From one account I read that they actually had to pass through a few other like elders and stuff to get to him So they must have been some reason why they thought he might be the guy to take him to you have passed the first test Now you may speak to the priest What are the steps?

The first one's just like a town elder then a priest Yeah, then a priest you got to get the blessing of the priest. And then is there another step before you get to Zurichet? Yeah, it's a snake woman. A snake woman. Oh, made of snakes. Made of snakes. See, it's the part of the problem with King Stephen, I kind of say.

Yeah, fair enough. And then you get to speak to Zurichet. Yep. Cool. Wow. Well, they really wanted to solve the case that he's playing kids. He's got a room with a really long table and he's just sitting at one end. I've been expecting you.

And he's reading like a little book Taking notes He's got a fluffy cat and he's stroking it. No, that's a bond villain. Sorry. Well, he was before his time Yeah, I'm picturing a so Richard Branson for some reason Probably this a richard thing for some reason And I can't figure out what it was the Richard Branson of his day For some reason. And I don't know, I can't figure out what it is. It was the Richard Branson of his day.

When they got there, the kids broke in tears and refused to eat any food that was brought to them. So they're fussy. Yeah. Fussy eaters. Fuck. We gave them the best match we've got. What did they say? You can probably hear it, but he's shaking his head as he says that

that's a definite I hate this mash fuck your mash fuck your mash my my my my my that's and uh now looks it looks great but I just say I just say by the wolf pit thank you oh you're so generous so, well, this kid is really rude. It's so rude. That's rude. Don't say that in front of Sir Richard Branson, please. No. How embarrassing.

How embarrassing. Actually, I flew with Virgin today, so that makes sense. Maybe that's why he's amazing. Clang. You got Richard on the brain. Yeah, dick brain. Um. We called him as a dick brain. Hahaha. Um, we called him so a dick brain.

Got him. Got him. Got himself. Uh, so he offered all the different kinds of food and they wouldn't take anything over several days. Skulls potato. Smash potatoes. Just a steamed potato and a jacket. Raw potato. Raw potato. Potatoes. Just a steamed potato in a jacket. Raw potato. Raw potato chips.

Potatoes. Potatoes. Ahead of their time. These kids. They're just waiting for a kosher meal. Oh. They're just waiting for a meal. So far I'm hungry because all of those things sound bloody delightful.

And if I was somebody's castle and they were offering me any of those items, I would be more than happy You know, well these kids. I mean Yeah, though the secret is that they're on a carb-free diet It was just but they couldn't they couldn't communicate. I'm after carb after car You never hear just say When someone offers a potato jam definitely not I'm not a monster a monster. And I'm always I've never been on a carb-free diet and I'm gonna go on record now and say I will never be on a carb-free diet.

Hey you stay strong. Thank you. Good on you. Cubs in my favourite food. Thank you. I will. You know how when you eat too much there's like a thing you've eat too much carrot you turn orange. I would bring these kids green food because maybe that's why they're green. See that's very clever. It's very clever Dave. But a green jelly frog in the pond that's what they want to tow the hull. But the frog would have to be a peppermint photo right. Now you're thinking. Now we're getting some work.

But like skinned it. Yeah just the goo. Just the goo. Just got a little thing goo in the middle of the jelly. For any international listeners should we explain what a frog it upon is? I think that's quite... I see. I thought that might have been hidden. I think that's English. I thought that was something we did. No, that's an English thing.

Oh, that's right then. No, that's... are you thinking of a tot in the hole? What's that? No, I don't know. Is it not the same thing? It might be the same thing. What's... You said that.

A Fredo frog's not Australian? I thought they are Australian. It's a chocolate frog inside some jelly, so it looks like there's a frog in a pond. Is that the same as a horrible... And I hated it because it makes the chocolate weird. Yeah, none of that's good. I hated frog in a pond. I love jelly.

Love jelly. And love Fredos. Keep them separate. Can I have my frog on the side? Hold the frog. Hold the frog on the pond, but can I have the frog on the side? Hold the frog. I'll have a frog on the pond, but can I have the frog on the side? Can I get a one pond?

Just a pond, thanks. I would like a pond that's suffered under global warming, please. I will have a pond sans frog. Okay, all right, hey, well. Really thought that would get more from you guys. Sans. Sans laughter, please. Okay, all right, hey, well, really thought that would get more from you guys Sons Sons laughter please

My joke, sons laughter Thank you I think we can do that for you Jess I thought So yeah, I took them over days and days So you're not eating anything? We need anything Shit I'm home, it's not good

No, it's not But then, Dave, as you said, eventually they were offered fresh produce in the form of raw green beans, including the stalk and everything. And they grabbed apparently grabbed them and tried to eat the stalk. I was, I was, I was mucking around with it. I was sort of trying to peel the stalk and so I've been, eventually, they were shown like the beans are in here and they, they eat the beans. They love the green beans. Oh beans in here. Loving it. Loving it. Love beans. Shit this kid loves beans. I shall call him beans.

Bean. Mr. Bean. Is this about Mr. Bean? He is because he's like an alien. Yeah. You know at the start of the mD he sort of comes from in that spotlight and people think about is he from now that space? He could be right. He's like an alien sort of like an outside character. He's like a fish out of pond.

Frog out of the pond. He's like a frog out of pond. Thanks for the sounds left to Jeff. I'm just trying to set it down. I'm happy that they're eating. So they're eating green beans? And they actually supposedly survived on the green beans for weeks.

Wow. It's got to explain the green skin. Yeah. Well, not necessarily. I didn't know how to eat the green beans until they were showed. Sure, but maybe they didn't something else green. Yeah, they were like, oh, this looks familiar.

This reminds me of what I was eating, broccoli. Yeah. As Matt. As time passed, Jess, the boy who was believed to be the younger of the two, became what they I think translates to being depressed. And he died. What? Oh no. He didn't survive too long.

Well, yeah. It turns out a bean diet sounds so good for you. I think it's so sad that he just got depressed and died. Yeah, it's really sad. We're not able to be understood by the majority of the people. Is there a weird place? They're like sort of estimates or guesses at how old they are vaguely. Okay, it's sort of like six or they're like sort of estimates or guesses at how old they are vaguely Okay, that's sort of like six or six young from the from the artist impressions that I've seen

They look like you know like yeah under 10 oh wow So sad and so strange He did he died after just starting to he just started trying some other foods apparently Should have stuck to the beans. Yeah. But his sister, she was made of tougher stuff, some of said, and she was able to adjust to the her new life. In time, she got baptized, so she got Christianified.

Her skin slowly lost the original green color, and she became a healthy woman. What? Yeah, that's what I'm normal. I mean, that's pretty normal for a girl to become a woman in time. Hang on. No, no, no back that up This is a lot of pauses here. What's this? Oh, I need it's time. A moment that is mine. Matt, do you know that this is pretty serious? Yeah, I can.

It was from a movie she was in. Crossroads. I'm not a girl, don't make me what to believe. Don't remember the words. Funny, I need to sing it up. All right. She was taught to speak English. Oh, an interesting choice on their part. And...

No, no, no, no, it's pronounced Pineapple. Pine...oh, she's got it. You might be wondering, how do we know all this? How do we know all might be wondering how do we know all this? How do we know all this man? Well there were two main sources and they were both from the 12th century which makes sense. The first is William of Newberg who was an English historian and monk from Yorkshire. Yorkshire. Yorkshire. Yorkshire. Yorkshire. So he's a monk, what's his name? His name is William of Newberg

Newberg on new borough new burr if it's Edinburgh it'd be a new borough, right? Yeah, his work is a history of England from 1066 to 1198 and it was called Historia Riram Anglicaram which I think is Latin for history of English affairs. Oh That's unsourcey. Yeah, so as apart from the story about the grandchildren It was mainly just like about Fergie and Charles and his real gossipy. What a backdoor shaman Fody alphaird. Fody, Dodie. Dodie.

Great. Good old Fody. Rest in peace. The other source is Ralph of Cogg's Hall. Great. He was also a monk. They all went back then. I think.

Who was it, you know? Monk it up. Monk it up. I do. Who was it, you know? And you. And you. Munk it up. I do enjoy the name Ralph. Do you? Ralph. You were talking about King Ralph just before. I don't know if I can. You like the name Ralph.

I really like it. Is it because it's a vomit word? What's a vomit word? Ralph! Like, I'm going to Ralph. Oh, a word for a vomit. I said it weird, but you probably gave you enough to piece that together. Yeah. It for for vomit. I said it weird but you probably I probably gave you enough to piece that together. Yeah. It's a vomit word. I'm not sure that was a thing I just didn't

know. So it's a synonym for vomit. Synonym is what we were looking for. Yeah please. Or if I speak the green child language and I just love the name Ralph this is a cool name. Okay well we can. Is it you think is it Ralph Magazine? Yeah is that it? you were so sick you were so sick with Ralph Magazine. That's it. You dirty boy. Give me that hand. Oh not again. Ow! He's Ralph's me. I like how we don't have to do that for a podcast. I could have just clapped with myself but felt good to hit you. It felt...

Feel good to watch it. I felt painful to have it. So Ralph, the other monk, his work also talked about the grandchildren and it was called Chronicon Anglicanum, which means English Chronicle. Oh! I would have just called it that if I was him. Veronica Anglicanum, which means English Chronicle. Oh. I would have just called it that if I was him. Now, Chronocon's pretty sick.

Yeah, and I don't, maybe those words in the case of the time. Oh, yeah, I'm Chronocon. It's a great word. Chronocon Anglicanum. I'm gonna pull this out and pull this out. Because it's a transformer, by the way. It's a definitely tantrum.

Yeah, Chronocon. Both authors did record the incident many years after it was supposed to have taken place. Not hundreds of years, but years, like decades. So, you know, it's like often, you know, when stories take a little while to be written. You lose some of the deets. I think that's getting better with age. Rocker wine or cheese or mats Stuart. Oh, thank you. What are you saying about? Matt are you blushing?

Young me. He was shud. Ralph lived in Essex, which was a neighboring county to Suffolk. I like how English, like England invented English right but they They don't pronounce words right for the most part Suffolk should be spelled as pronounced suffolk, but they say suffoc Etc. Er, very good. Don't do it. You're building a strong argument That's an observation. Wow. What do you think about that? I think that's well Etc. Very good. You're building a strong argument.

That's an observation. Wow. What do you think about that? I think that's... Well, I mean, we live in Melbourne, and it should be probably pronounced Melbourne. Born. Yeah. So maybe that's just a thing people do.

Yeah. I take it all back. Sorry, England. See, a Ralph lived just over from Suffololk so he had direct access to the people involved because he was you know there was overlap in the time. He could just pop over and here. Hello I'm Ralph. In his Rikon Anglicanum he stated that he heard the story from Richard de Carme himself. Oh, Richard Branson. Yeah.

Sir. Sir Dick. And William of Newberg was living in the remote Yorkshire monastery, which would have made it a lot harder for him to have any first-hand knowledge of the events. But he did use contemporary historical sources and in his work he stated that I was so overwhelmed by the weight of so many and such competent witnesses. It's a very good impression. Thank you. I know that's exactly how he sounds. It's a great impression of someone we can never ever hear with this hundred. Oh, day. Alright, day. Fuck it. I'm sorry about him, Matt.

What did we say before we started rolling? Check your attitude at the door or fuck off. Such a devil lately, isn't he? Yeah, what deviant with his bloody rough magazines. Good one. Buddy little... Go his little hands around his little pecker this is a family podcast I do like how on iTunes every episode has the e for explicit. Oh. Mainly because of you, Jess, you're swearing. Right, do they listen and rate it individually?

We do that. I think we just chose that just in case, to give us the license to talk about my pick up. Oh, God. We put the e on. Well, that's a little bit. Oh, no, no, no. No, no.

Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, it's mostly my swearing, because a lady should have swear, or speak over the gentleman, or be a king. Ladylike. What's me? I remember hearing that as a kid on occasions, you know, teachers, scientists.

Not Ladylike? That's not very Ladylike. What a fucking, doesn't it sound like it from another, I mean, it was another century, it was in the 90s but still very bizarre that that was so recent it's not very lady like anyway used to hate it when they told me that God it was really a thing well put your picker away I was just proving you that I'm not bloody lady like Can a lady do this Impressed yes you are Mrs. Field my great two teacher. Oh, why did you have to make it so real?

Why you sexually assaulting your teacher? Oh Nazi sympathizer with your little picker Only one of those things is true and I let the listener decide All imagine decide that I could have decided my opinion or penis You know you don't have the right Now to late day we had a poll on your own That's the next Twitter poll We have another...

That's the next Twitter poll on my poll. Oh no, I don't like that. You reckon has the biggest baker on the podcast? I win the Santa Fe. Jess wins. Oh, Rudy. Sorry to send a stand there. Into Dave's pants. I regret nothing.

I regret it all. So having learned how to speak English, the girl, not yet a woman, or maybe she was, I have no idea. She was later questioned about her past. And who are you? She was only able to relate vague details about where they'd come from and how I mean, it takes a while to learn a language.

So there must have been some time that had passed. Yeah, because I was about to say like I like it they assimilate her into their little game they're like by the way what the fuck yeah that thing back there where you're all green. But when we found you, what's kind of weird? Care to elaborate. I mean where the ones with the wolf pits okay we'll take that. But you were green so So I mean we both had some stuff going on. I don't know what they named it. Ah, well, they don't know for sure, but there's someone recently had a theory on that. Someone recently had a guess. And they reckon...

Toby? They reckon that... They went through names that it wasn't Toby a reckon it wasn't Toby I reckon it wasn't Trent probably not Trent probably wasn't Christopher Well, they reckon they fit figured out who she might have been and that person was named Queen Elizabeth first was a star with a Abigail Amelia and Alice and A. Ariel. Ariel.

It's a Simpson's character's name. Anastasia. No. That was my dream guess before the Simpson's. No, no. Abraham. No. It's a lady.

I think. I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think't think of any other A names. Older? Agnes. Yeah. Oh, damn it. Well done, Dave. Agnes. Now there's a name yet.

Don't hear anymore. You know, that sounds like a bomb at work. But I'm sitting here watching too. That sounds like a bomb word. Yeah. Agnes. I've got a chuck in Agnes. Oh boy it does. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble.

It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble.

It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble.

It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. It's like a bubble. Is it based on any... Well, yeah, they think they figured out based on that time and... Oh, like people referencing each other and... Yeah. Which was probably the Agnes. Probably. But it's...

But it'd be hard to know. I think it's just very hard to know for sure. But let's call it Agnes to make it a bit more. Yeah, great. Yeah. It's just a bit easier to talk about. Great. So, having learned how to speak English, Agnes was later question. You spell Agnes.

A-G-N-E-S. Yes. Important. Having learned how to speak English, Agnes was lighter question. You spell Agnes. IGNES? Yes. Important. We're stopping the show for... We've already established English as hard. Sorry. There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation.

You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu. So having learned how to speak English, Agnes was later questioned about her past. She was only able to relate vague, I've said all this. She was only able to relate vague details about where they'd come from, how they arrived and we'll put it. would have relate vague details about where they'd come from, how they arrived in Wolpey.

She said that the boy was her brother, which they didn't know for sure, obviously until she could tell him, and that they had come from the land of St Martin, where it was perpetually twilight and all the inhabitants were green. She was not sure exactly where her homeland was, but it was just over from what she described as luminous land that could be seen across a wide river separating the two places. Okay, so you only just learnt English, but you're dropping words like luminous. Yeah, it's pretty, pretty impressive. I'm actually like this.

I can't think of a time I've ever dropped luminous in a sentence, you know, just casually describing something. Oh, bloody luminous in a sentence. You know, just casually describing something. Oh, bloody luminous it was. Okay, I'm saying to understand why people see that I turn on things, because I'm just, sorry, I guess. I need to take this into you one. No, I think she had it come in.

I don't think anyone ever goes, they don't deserve it. I think they say, geez, just turns, but just the right amount. Yeah, she says what we're all thinking. Right turns, just the right amount. Yeah, she says what we're all thinking. Right time, right amount of turn, 180 degrees. Great. So people at the time, or since do they sort of get those things

and put them all together and be like, ah, she's from. Yeah, well, I'll talk about those, some potential explanations in a sec. According to Ralph, Ralph! Agnes recounted, You're ruining Ralph and me, I'm gonna be good. According to Ralph Agnes, recounted that one day they were looking

after their dad's lifestyle, cattle or whatnot, in the fields and had followed them into a cave. From there, they heard a loud sound of bells. Following the sound they wandered through the darkness until they arrived at the mouth of the cave, where they were blinded by the glaring sunlight which they'd never seen before. In a day they lay down for a long time before they were snapped out of it by the noise of the reapers. Scared they rose and tried to escape, but they couldn't find

the entrance of the cavern again and they were caught by the reapers. Wow! Yeah, it's quite a story, right? Williams account is slightly different, doesn't have the bells, and it says that while they were tending to the animals they heard a loud noise and basically the next thing they knew they came to by the wolf pit. But did he talk about a cave? I don't think he mentioned the cave.

They were caves in that area so... Yeah, just places everything. They got caves. They got wolf pits. They got wolves. They got green kids. They got potatoes. They got Ralph.

They got Ralph. What do you need? Honestly nothing. Technically I don't have Ralph, Ralph who's elsewhere but... God you're a kill drive. You're buddy, you're buddy kill Ralph. Here it... Yeah. Here is the... Fuck Ralph. Yeah, fuck Ralph. With your little Pecker Dave. We got to put two explicit signs on this M-Sode. Um, sorry everyone, we're being too silly for, I'm not, I'm not that sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm not at all. I'm not at all. Hey, here are some potential explanations. Mm-hmm. There's been a lot of theories, obviously, something weird like this is going to have a lot of theories over 800 years or whatever it's been a lot of theories, obviously something weird like this is gonna have a lot of theories over 800 years or whatever it's been Some of them are the children originated from a hidden world inside the earth And okay, that's kind of been a theory

I mean that would be like the cave being the entrance like some here and they like some of them are pretty fanciful Just give that body has up but you know all right well when you start talking in the fantasy one so please do go on about this this middle of the earth well that because the idea I guess is that they'd never seen sunlight properly right so that was that was kind of where that theory came from yeah fair. And they're like where's the only place where there's no sun? The middle of the earth. Still doesn't explain why they're green. Well I think I mean that one also just thinks that there are different different race of people, different species. Yeah but a different race of people like their skin wouldn't then change to

because then she just went not green as she grew up. Yeah, so I mean maybe not race whatever the different It's a different Civilization and they whatever they do in their diet. Maybe they're like a light or there Whatever their diet is I guess probably would be what? Fact But in none of that one on the head. Next question. Science, boom. Another theory is that they had somehow stepped through a door from a parallel dimension.

Okay, well, we're getting a little bit more fanciful. I'm interested to hear this from another dimension. Yep, that's the end. So I mean, they stepped through like a door from another dimension. I mean, that's kind of, that's pretty much the theory. Great, well, I see zero floors in that, so we're gonna pick that one. Well, can you, maybe you could fill it out a bit. What do you, what do you think?

I don't know. I think in this... That, that'll turn into dimensions. Well, fortunately, I am an expert. Great, that's why I was asking Dave Jess I'm sorry. There's no way. I'm so sorry. Obviously. I'll let the men speak. I'm so sorry You reckon that maybe um in another dimension this girl was the fifth beetle Dave. That's my theory. Yeah, that's really right. It's not about theory. Or she was gumbees.

Dad. Dad. We don't mention this one. Weird one. It's weird. It's like that old series Sliders. You ever see that? Yeah, I remember Sliders. Oh, I read the bell. I was that guy from a stand by me. Oh yeah. What's with what was it? Jerry Connell. Jerry O'Connell. Yeah, what's Jerry Connell? Jerry Connell? Yeah, what's Jerry Connell and he- And remember one episode, and so every episode was then sliding through into different dimensions. And they were all like similar to Earth. And remember- The catch is, they're all New York City.

But they're not necessarily, yeah, they were- Science fiction on a budget, that is. But one of the worlds I remember they went to, I don't think I just went the whole thing and they went there, and everything was pretty much exactly the same, only the women all had gotes. I told you the budget was pretty small for this show. We put it all out budget.

But we facial it. Do have this packet of gotes that that I found backstaffed. This packet of goatees. This is like 10. Oh, 10, buddy, oh. There's 10 goatees. We could have up to 10 women in a scene, which is pretty good. Oh yeah, because otherwise, if there are different scenes,

you could just drop and change. Yeah, drop and change, yes. Which seems healthy. That seems pretty fine by a hoochness. I think. And with Jerry, I can't handle it. I want to kiss these women, but've got goody's what's going on Your face is very animated back to the slide. Did they go down a slide? No, I think it was more just like a like a wormhole or

Super fun happy slide But I can't be sure that joke with sounds laughed all that it well you talked over it, but at home, they would have probably singled out the audio and they're playing it back. In another dimension, am I right? Ah, I'm just sad that you gave him that. Thank you. You didn't have to give him that. Matt was trying to be like, give him nothing.

Give him nothing. A character. Dude, you had a character. Am I the code? I've always wanted a cool nickname. Is it the code? You're just Bob. Sick.

Bob's pretty good. Bob is a great pick. Or JP. JP. Where's Bob from again? The big Bob, or his Java. Right. That's a good nickname.

Good solid foundation for a nickname that one. Here's another one. This one. Another one. I just listened to an hour long interview with this guy, this Scottish astronomer Duncan Loonon. Great name. He had, he has a theory, he's a current guy. Listen, he's alive now. He's currently a, yeah, he's currently a human. At the time of recording, he was alive. His theory is that they were aliens and they accidentally arrived on Earth.

Yeah, that's what I'm getting. So, and this guy's a proper astronomer. Yeah, please say. Well, I just, yeah, that's what makes the most sense to me. Yeah, I mean, that's something in that just clicks, right? That just seems right. So, what's,'s a lovely accidental part? Yeah, that's what they weren't.

And he fell out of the spaceship because they were playing too close to the door and their mother kept saying, don't play so sorry. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, gone? He, um... Into the wolf bed. So he thought, and I think this probably will get you over the line if you weren't. No, that's already, I'm all over. Oh, you're already on it. But I'm not.

Okay. I'm still another dimension man, but I could be one over. So, he suggested that the children would transport it to Earth from another planet in era by a malfunctioning matter transmitter. So's so specific. It's guy. I don't even love that. It's like, this thing I'm making up.

Yeah. This is all the details. Well, I mean, look at Harry Potter, you know, the detail created our own world. That's true. Same thing. That's true. Except that this is real. What?

The matter thing happened. Yeah. Yeah. You know. The matter thing happened. Yeah. Yeah. You know, so did Harry Potter. Possibly another dimension. No, that's true. No, it doesn't.

Yeah, definitely. Like, isn't, because there's all the other dimensions, everything that is ever possible has happened. That I think about that way too much. Because then I think everything is the same except one of your beard hairs was in a different position. Yeah. And then I think, but then every beard hair in every position and everything else is exactly the same as this reality, except for a billion years, the only thing that's different is

that beard hair. It was up a bit. What a beard. That freaks me out so much. And then I think about all the different things like- But every second there in in different Yeah, every single second or like This episode cuts out for split second but the second cuts out in the different reality Then the second and then the second and the second and in another reality. I didn't even mention this sentence and it was probably better

But in another reality you mentioned every other possible sentence. In another reality does Jess give a fuck? Yes! Wow! Two different realities. So in the interview I listened on the plane on the way back here. On the Virgin plane. On the Virgin plane. It was on the plane I travelled for work.

I mean the plane, I met a travel. Look, Jess, it's true thank you I am amazing that you were sort of on the plane hearing him say that out loud yeah it was weird I was like Matt if you could just keep it down we're all on this plane we're all on this plane how they welcome to plane and the guy it was great it sounded like a really smart guy and you know this theory they're about the matter thing he put that across really well well if I'm being a hundred percent honest and I'd like to be I fell asleep during it so you found him soothing rather than clever I was

very tired but I'm very tired from my terribly but from what you heard and what you remember he sounded pretty good and he offered he offered some great series He reckons that the king was probably involved I think the king that's you anyway King King Stephen. Yeah, he reckons that the king Probably was you know working on some alien thing or something and Right, which is a classic king working on some alien thing or something. And... Right. Which is a classic kink.

Like the mistake, I think alien stuff was meant to be happening, but this thing was a mistake. Like it wasn't meant to be a couple of kids. But their king was involved somehow, he reckons. He reckoned it went all the way to the top, probably the Pope as well. Really? Okay, I kind of feel like when you come up with a theory you can convince yourself that

it's true and then any sort of evidence he would find he could point it towards what he wants. But have we ever seen that he pointed to any evidence or did he say that? Yeah, he did, I just can't, like I couldn't put my finger on any of it right now. Sure, fair enough, but I think. But I would survive. That's another interview with him. So do you have any evidence of this? Yeah, I have a cup of a finger on a right now

He thought he did talk a lot about like he did a lot of delving I've delved into some he's got a scar accident He was the one who had the anger Agnes theory as well. Oh, right. So you know that's probably bang on. Yeah. He also believes that Agnes may have had a love child with the king. Oh geez Louise. Well, yep good. Okay, he had me for a bit. I mean that. And the king. I found the king came and visited. Also the king was a duck. and visited. Also the king was a duck. The king. Yeah. Yeah. I see. No not Brian. That's not Brian. So I know what's this guy's name? This is what's he's got that cool name. Is it Chris Carter, the creator of the ex-files. But what's this? Duncan Loonon. Duncan. OK.

The fact that he has the word Loon in his surname does worry me slightly. Great. Duncan Loonon. There's another theory that arsenic was the reason for the children's green skin. Is that make you green? Apparently.

Do you know the babes in the wood folktale? No, please enlighten us. It concerns a medieval Earl who was the uncle and guardian of two young children, a boy and a girl. I'm seeing some similarities, please. Me too. In order to inherit their money, the uncle hires two men to murder them in the woods, but the the hitman are unable to go through with it and they abandon them in the woods.

I'm more like shit man. Yeah. Yeah. That was a high five. Where they where they eventually die of starvation. No. Oh, the hit man did their job. There's a just didn't get paid for it.

There's a dude they just told me I killed him. It's probably more brutal way to go really. Yeah. Star really. Yeah. Starvation. Geez, shit man. Thanks a lot, shit man. There's a local variation of this folktale from the Warpid area. So all folktales have to have a mural because what's the mural there?

Yeah, there is a one. What's fucking, yeah. Good, okay, so what's the yeah good okay do it look a lot It's not he's smoking also sorry it's um all day I dream about sport Is that it? Um what it's a no fee. No fee. Mamba farting dog.

It's farting. It's a dog farting. It's a dog farting. Trumpet. What's the local variation? The local. I've just do it. The local variation.

Have a go. Has the children surviving. It's not pretty good off would you? The local variation has the children surviving and attempted arsenic poisoning and emerging into the bull pit heath where they found by the reapers, right? So it's kind of a similar story. So the hitman take them out and try and poison them with the arsenic. That turns them green. And then they go crazy so they start speaking like this. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh,

so that means there's some saying it's like, I guess there's some, some people don't even believe it happened at all, right? But- Also they're saying like, well we're talking about that folktale and everyone, just because you say the word folktale, you know, it didn't happen. So how about this could also be a folktale? And maybe, I don't know. This one is probably the most popular explanation. It has been put forward by Paul Harris, also only in the last couple of decades.

He was suggesting that the kids were children of Flemish, merchants who would move to England. The Flemishers are from North Belgium. At that time, there were many Flamish migrants during King Henry II's time. He persecuted the immigrants which culminated a battle where thousands were slaughtered. And the theory is that the children had lived near the village of Fornham St Martin which is where they're. Martin. Did they say they were from St. Martin? Oh yeah, yeah, that's right. So, which was a nearby town.

So, that's what his theory is that they were children of Flemish, migrants. Their parents have been killed, so they've been orphaned, and they were living in a nearby town. The village, which was only a few miles from Wulpit, is separated by the river Lark. Oh, river, ticking the boxes. Which is, you know, probably what this series says is probably the the wide river mentioned by Agnes. After their parents had been killed in the conflict, the two famous children escaped into dense woodland of Thetford Forest.

They hid there for a while without enough food and they could have developed chlorosis due to malnutrition, which can give a greenish tinge to your skin. So that's a real condition that people still get? Okay, chlorosis. And he believes that they, you know, then they could have filed the sounds of the church bells of Barry St. Edmunds, which is a church, eventually emerging at Walpitt, and here in their undernourished state with their strange Flemish clothes, and speaking in the Flemish language, they would have seemed to eil in to the villages, who would not have had any contact the Flemish language they would have seemed to Eileen to the villages who would not had any contact with Flemish people so that's that theory. That seems the most plausible. That does seem quite plausible. Yeah. Yeah.

I totally sound like a good explanation but then... Oh no. And then he's like and then the aliens came. No, no. No, Paul, come on. come on. But Paul, you had us. You really had us. There were some, there were some holes in it and it's still like, that is still seen as like one of the most popular explanations. According to Paul Harris.net. Yeah. One of the problems with it is that Flemish merchants had lived in England for generations around that area.

So they probably used to be there. Meaning their language and clothes. I wasn't like that fun. It would have been... It was like, oh yeah, that's just those... There's a slamish pants, everyone's wearing. They're called popular. Especially the... The slamish pants.

Especially the... The slamish pants. And those sort of guys were, you know, relatively... Yeah, so it wasn't Richard would have been like, oh yeah, they're just famous guys, some likes. Yeah. But he didn't say that. Well, he didn't say that, he said, fuck, what do we do?

Get some beans, I don't know what's happening. Get some beans, stat. Another issue is that Barry St Edmunds is 40 Ks away from Setford Forest. It's been a crazy walk for a couple of little kids. That's a crazy walk for it. I'm an adult, I would not do that. And they also, in any of these times I would surely die.

And also... Yeah, you would be a long dead. Oh my god, I think about that all the time. I watched TV shows like Game of Thrones and I think I would just lay down and give up. It's awful. It looks horrible. Why are they all struggling to... like they're fighting so hard? No. Just give up. Give up.

It sucks. Peace. Just... ever-ever-lasting peace. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I'm so tired. No, just give up. Give up. It sucks. Peace. Just ever, ever lasting peace. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I'm so tired. Good night. Good night, yeah. Let the blood drain from with me. Is that how they talking, Game of Thrones?

Oh, doesn't it, like that? Okay. Um, so, but also over the 40Ks, you're unlikely to hear church bells ringing What's that church bells my user? I got pretty good hearing yeah You can hear a church bell from 40 kilometers even with green if you tell Marish's shut up for long enough and go in some peace and quiet I'm gonna good. Well I reckon so the theory there is the whole that I found in the whole is that they don't have to First start walking because of the bells. They've probably just wandered through a forest and then when they're about two kilometers away they, oh there's some bells, let's walk over there.

Yeah. It's not like you've heard them the whole time. And you've followed this over the bell. I've got it in walking for weeks of the forest. Could be true. Eat nuts and berries. And grain stuff. Green stuff. Grass.

And another thing, the river lock is pretty narrow. And what did the kids say, wide river? Yeah, they, oh, what did she say? She called it, she described it as a considerable river. Yeah, but considerable to who, like how old are you by now? Have you seen how many rivers I, She's dropping luminous.

Yeah, exactly. She's growing up since then, right? So she maybe she's misremembering. That's true. But how do you explain the Flemish stuff? It not being alien. Maybe there was a weird local dialect or something. So this is another like DB Cooper episode in that it's so fascinating, but it's so frustrating. Yeah, and satisfying is perfect because there's no frustrating. Yeah, I'm satisfying it's perfect because there's no there's no resolution. Okay, well, I'm hopefully that's why I thought I'd finished with something that you know, slightly more resolution-y, not to the mystery, but all right. So we know. Well, I mean, no one's 100% sure what happened to Agnes. I think, well, Duncan loon thinks he's a 100% sure what happened to Agnes. I think well Duncan Loon thinks he's a 100% sure what happened to Agnes. But yeah, Duncan Loonan, he researched Dakarney's history and apparently found that she was given the English name of Agnes

and married a royal official called Richard Barry. So who's Dakarney? Dakarney's so Richard. All right, sorry. I was I keep calling in Branson in my mind. So he discovered that he met she married him. Now he he looked in a DeCarnie's history and found the person he thought most likely to be her. Or to be Agnes and what happened to what happened to her. And she she married a royal official named Richard Barr or Barry B.A. double E and became Agnes Barr. She eventually led a normal life and according to Ralph was a servant.

Ralph magazine that is. Yeah, according to Ralph's group. She was on a set of old. According to Ralph. She's a double D. Oh Bloody little pecker It's funny that yeah, it's just it's funny that you think that's appropriate Three explicitly

Please so according to Ralph she became a servant in Sir Richard Branson's household On one of his Fiji in islands Butch and and she was described as very wanton and impudent. I don't know what does that mean is that a way to finish? She was she was trying really hard to master these new words hmm And that's pretty much it if you look at what that one, I don't even know what imputed means. Look at that. What's Wanton mean? Oh, you look at both. What just means you want something.

Like I've got a Wanton craving. So what does that, I mean, what is it? She's very wanton. No, I don't think that's what it means. And what was the other word? What is it? She's very wanton. No, I don't think that's what it means. And what was the other word? Wanton and... Oh man, my computer is so slow.

Impudent. Imp. Yeah, sorry. It's not the best formed, absurd support. Who's captioned? That's very good. What a face. Sammy, just tested positive, for gorgeous. Should we sort of redo that in, so it doesn't just try to laugh into this? That's probably a good idea.

Want to deliberate and unprovoked, or especially of a woman sexually immodest and promiscuous? She's a hooo. I don't want to finish on that. Impudent, not showing due respect for another person impertinent all right we won't finish with that what do you want to finish on do you think let's just say that like what we think happen yeah I think we'll go through them so yeah so so that's um that's Duncan's series that she became you know she married a royal official what do you

reckon I love that right which it's Royal, which in what society is, especially in an old society like that, where everyone's got rankings and things like, what sort of Royal official is marrying the green woman they found in a field? Maybe she was a babe. Wow. She had a great personality.

She was in the rough magazine. Maybe she was really funny, and they just clicked. There's something about her that's like, for the first time in his life, he felt like he could really open up to someone and he can make himself vulnerable and he could connect with somebody and you know they formed a nice and a bond. Yeah laugh at romance Dave. I'm a little bit disappointed with your attitude through the whole show. I mean you got your little buddy Pecker in in your hand. And you're making these weird calls about how love is dead

and, and royals don't have any feelings. Well, he's a buddy, he's, and she's not good enough for him. Well, you know what? She is good enough. She is good enough him. He can see past her weird, hideous, green skin, which is, perhaps, is cleared right up by this. Cleared right up. She's a normal skinned person. Well, what would you call me?

Oh no, no, no, no, no. Now what do you think, mate? You've done the research on this. I reckon there's got to be, there's just got to be an explanation. I reckon something like the Flemish thing is right. Yeah. Only they... What are there another culture? Yeah, I feel like another pin culture.

Another culture or they... That's what... Just that town hadn't had before. Because obviously in the world now, such a global society, but 800 years ago, they probably only ever saw the town next door and that's about it. Yeah, if that. And then maybe they, you know, they were... Oh, it's fascinating.

They weren't super educated. And maybe they spoke a local dialect from a small town in a European country. Maybe they just had like a really chubby voice. They couldn't understand their accent. Yeah, that really fat face, as I said, chubby. No, chubby, you know, like chubby. Oh, like chubby. Yeah, they were wearing faces. You said chubby. No chubby. Oh like chav Yeah, they're wearing fake burberry clothes and so you mean that would have that's all I know it to be chab to be Aaron wish listen as well. No, if that's right or not

And chaps like a bogeon right. Yeah, it's just like that time for bogeon. It's coming in Cool twin-in if you're a a chef and you listen to this show. Always punching down, Dave. God, I just don't let it. And it's hard for someone so chaps can also feel like. Sometimes I add chaps below me. Yeah. It's a bit of modesty for me.

I'm always punching up. Now, when you do this good, look in, you can say whatever you like. You're lying there, you're used again. OK. Well, we have to have it talk to you after the podcast. Hey Dave, what are people? People have described you as looking at the community.

Who is that? Yep. I've got a nickname at the office. It's cheese. Sure. Cheese, because Bessian L's source is cheesy. And Bessian L is cheesy and Bessian Sounds a bit like bachimi and I'm taught it look like Steve bachimi. Jesus that's a long stretch for a nigga

So pretty good all right, sorry. You know what you look like you look like. Oh, no I hate this is I get this sentence a lot how you look like and I'm like this is never it's never like You know what you look like Ryan Gosling on a bad day, which I would take Yeah, of course you'd would fucking help maybe that's what I was about to say Dave Dave good day Bad day average day like every like the last day of a cold Dave last day of a cold Yeah, I've been getting mid-cold. No last day of a cold. He's he's on the stretch. Just want to have a bit of a lie down Matt, please turn on back what I said What you're saying is

Yes, that you would be okay Mm-hmm if someone said you look like Someone who is often described as one of the hottest people in the world. You'd be okay with that on a bad day He's still beautiful. No, no, what I'm saying is I'm a real piece of work No, what I'm saying is I'm a real piece of work No, what I'm saying is I never get that yeah No shit, why was you know what you do look like the bad guy from monster zinc? The purple don't monster thing. I don't know what that looks like name is the Billy crystal Oh, yeah, these are good guy

So I any long story you look like a cartoon monster look like a monster is the summary there. Sasha Steve Buschimi. I think that character was played by Steve Buschimi. Oh, that's up. This is. Let's find out. What the, I mean, you can never get back at Jesse's either, like, one girl's name. On a good day.

Randall, played by Steve Buschimi. Oh, fucking hell, that is a man. This can't be a positive. I think it's just the Steve Buschimi. Maybe the most adult. He's at the same character? Yeah, which is the first one was him, his teenager and obviously two. Almost as a month's university. It's the machine we can't see. I watched that in my face. Oh yeah, I see see that how did this podcast go from the green children to what does

Dave look like well you started it mate did I yeah cuz he started talking about how hot you are great cocky that always happens anyway that always happens let's just I just bat into a conversation I talk about how good looking I am and then everyone tears me down. I think mainly because they're threatened. Oh my gosh. Stop it. Well, wait for another unsatisfying episode.

That's a very interesting story though. Yeah, I'd never heard of it. Did you know about that? No, I'd never heard of it at all. Thank you very much at Rewind Turb. Oh, another excellent suggestion. People who I'd love to hear, listen to theories, that's where they came from, if anyone's got anything, because I do feel empty with that lack of bloody closure.

Find us on Facebook and let us know what you think. Because I say Facebook because like, Twitter limits your characters, you know. Yeah, we want to say. Facebook, it's really tell us, you thought. Yeah, we want our face. Facebook's really tell us your thoughts. We want book length answers. I want top points. Okay. Or even just a link to a thing that probably gives a better answer than what I found.

Which could be anything. Oh. A link to a picture of a sponge. We'd have more. But of course. It was there all along. I thought we saw that mystery. But of course. It was there all along. I love myself with that mystery. Yeah cool. And if you do have a mo, just a little mo, meant, it would be great. I'm glad you just define what mo means.

Well yeah, because it also means mustache, doesn't it? I don't have a little mo, stash. But I do have many little moments for you, really. Well Jess, if that's the's the case, could you mind giving us a little five-star review on our tunes? Why don't I be bullied? I lied it. Follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook. What else, Dave? You can also, so we're at DoGoOnPod is the handle, but you should also email us, because I know some people aren't on Twitter, so it's DoGoOnPod at gmail.com. But of course,-want to

it all has some great suggestions but you can have some great suggestions too me can I? no well you've never had a good suggestion you always go from the hat because you don't need good suggestions right? wait I did that episode about I chose Birkenwils myself yeah that was fun wasn't it? yeah it really was I enjoyed it actually it was a great episode enjoy that a lot go back and listen to that if you haven't listened to our old episodes, they're all fantastic. But yeah, it's we didn't know, it is genuinely great to hear people making suggestions. And the hat is filling up.

But you know what, we're going to keep going forever. I propose that we don't stop this podcast until the hat has run dry. Wow, okay. I mean, 600 years. I might want to start a family or. Wow, okay. 600 years. I might want to start a family or... No, travel. No. Okay. What I'm saying is, if you want to keep the show going, keep the suggestions happening because then we can't stop.

We'll come in here and go, please stop tweeting. Oh, that'll be a sad day. Please stop making suggestions. Please. Oh, please. I'm not saying like, red. Please don't make such a joke. Oh please. I will not say my grad children. I enjoy doing this. Yeah. It is the highlight of my wake. It's gonna say one of us, the highlight.

I have a great time. So please do keep listening and tell a friend. That's honestly how we're getting out there. It's people just telling their friends. So thanks so much for listening guys. We'll see you next week with a brand new report. And before that, I I will say a good bye Bye

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