Do Go On - 351 - The Greatest Ever Beer Run

Episode Date: July 13, 2022

In November 1967 John ‘Chickie’ Donohue went on the most epic beer run of all time, from a New York Bar to the Vietnam War, tune in to hear the story! Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Check out our new merch! : https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ Stream our 300th episode with extra quiz (and 16 other episodes with bonus content): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoon Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:The Greatest Beer Run Ever by John Chick Donohue and J. T. Molloyhttps://allthatsinteresting.com/john-chickie-donohuehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4WAUmyKDq0&t=6shttps://nypost.com/2020/11/07/meet-the-man-who-brought-his-buddies-beer-in-the-vietnam-war/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfoaFasHN2Y Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and also Jess Perkins is here.

Hello. Hey Dave, how's it going? Well, thanks. How are you? Yeah, really good, thanks. Really good. You did quite a violent gesture when you pointed to me saying Matt Stewart and then you full hand point to Jess saying Jess Perkins like you weren't sure we would know who you were talking about.

I actually meant to slap both of you but I missed both times. Oh, that's so Dave. I was hoping you wouldn't bring her. That is so Dave. Tries to slap and missus. Twice. Ah, damn it. Let's get a little arms.

So good to be here at Jess's house recording this podcast. It's beautiful sunny winter's day. You're giving away too much information about the location of my house. That's right. She does have windows. Pinpoint the location of the sun.

Stop speaking. I can see a tree. Oh, no, I've said too much. You piece of shit. I need all. of that beeped. Redacted. Redacted.

Hey Jess, you know, while I'm beeping that stuff out, can you explain to the listeners, especially new listeners, what this show is all about? Absolutely. This is a show called Do Go On.

And there's three of us. And we take it in turns to research a topic. We bring it back to the other two who don't know what we're going to talk about. We talk about it and they make jokes. And look, we all have a good time. That's the most important part.

It's often suggested by a listener and we always get onto the topic. with a question. And Matt, it is your turn to do a report this week. So what is your question? My question is, according to historian Max Nelson, who wrote this in like 2005 or something, what? So it might not be true anymore, but I think it was, at least to him.

That's why I put his name in there because someone's probably like, oh, actually, I don't think that is. But anyway, according to this, the current year, 2005. God, sorry, Max Nelson, what is the third most popular drink? Milk. Seawater No, neither of those are correct

Third most popular Third most popular Tea What can you Tea is T2 T2 T's number two Okay

Coffee Coffee's not on the Top three Water's number one What's number three It's not soda Beer It is beer

Fuck you Dave Oh sorry We went for different I went competitive And you went supportive Good work Thanks Dave Because I was

Coca Cola's got to be up there But we've done it Was cola on the list Cole wasn't on Max Nelson's list from 2005. I'm deeply offended. Coffee's not there. Yeah, it's interesting. So tea, yeah, I guess.

Not a huge tea drinking myself, though. I love tea. I don't mind an herbal tea. I love a peppermint. I love an Earl Grey. I think you know that's about me. I do know that's about you. But yeah, no, I love tea.

I love coffee too. Don't get me wrong. You're drinking one right now? You also love beer. I'd also love beer. I love liquid. I love liquid. I love liquid.

How do you feel about smoothies? I love smoothies. How do you feel about soupies? Soupies are pretty good. We're starting to get a little bit further away from liquid than I would feel most comfortable. So they're like, because you're not like a thick liquid. No, I mean. What about like a thick shake?

Thick shake's okay. Better than a milkshake or worse than a milkshake? Thick shake. Oh, no, yeah, I prefer a smoothie. Is that an option? Okay, what about a blended cheese and tomato sandwich? No, that sounds gross. Okay.

Okay, that's interesting. We just got to find the level here. Put a little bit of milk in there to make it a bit more. I don't know why, but I feel disgusted by that. Come on, man. Get your head out of your ass. I'm fucking smash it water right now. This topic, which I don't know anything.

I'll tell you what it is. I don't know. You can help me call it something later. But it was suggested by Johnny Dawson from Lester in the UK, Tyler Edwards from Canton in Georgia in the United States, and Lisa from Germany. And it's a story about, and beer is at the center of it. Okay, great.

It's not the story of beer, but it's a beer-related story. Okay. And it begins now. Wow. In November 1967, John Chicky Donoghue. Chicky. Chicky is the nickname. That's what I'm going to refer to him for the rest of the report.

Chiqui. Chiquet. Chiquet. Chiqu. C-H-I-C-I-E. Chiqui. Love it. Thank you.

Me too. So November 1967, John Chicky Donahueh, was at his local pub, Doc Fiddlers in Inwood, which is a neighborhood of Manhattan in New York. York City. Oh, NYC. Sitting there was sleep. Exactly.

You know what I'm talking about. The bar was run by an army vet named George Lynch, but everyone called him the Colonel. Ooh. He only ever reached the rank of private first class when he served. Demanded to be called Colonel, though. Yeah, just in that bar, the regulars loved him. They respected him.

He was a big army. He loved the Army. Apparently, he put up an American flag outside his pub every morning and took down every like, you know, like almost ceremoniously. At this time, there was growing anti-Vietnam war sentiment in America. So this is, it's really heating up the war in Vietnam at this point. And the evening news that they were watching, the 6 o'clock news in the pub,

was showing coverage of an anti-war protests at Central Park in New York from that day. The colonel and others at the bar were unhappy that the protesters were turning anti-soldier as opposed to just anti-war. I think they'll like, you know, be anti-war, but don't take it out on the soldiers. Like, surely take it out on the politicians who are drafting the soldiers to send over there. But, you know, these soldiers, as far as they were concerned,

they're just doing their duty. They're just people. They're serving their country. Some of them are, you know, they're being drafted. It's not even their choice. Since Lyndon B. Johnson had taken over the American presidency from JFK, the number of American troops had increased in the conflict from 16,000 to half a.

million. Wow. Lyndon B conscripting. Yes. Lyndon B conscripting. Dave. That was amazing. Thank you.

I had to say, because people at home were like, is you going to make a joke about Lyndon B after our JFK episode last year? I'd written, mine wasn't as good,

I'd written, Lyndon B sending lots of troops. Sometimes, the worse, the better with Lyndon B that's what I figured. Oh yeah, that's why you would,

that's why you wrote that. That's, yeah, just for the comedy effects. Have you ever thought something I said was dumb? Let me just say, I meant it. I meant it to be dumb. That's true for me as well. The Colonel knew many locals who had served,

or were currently serving in Vietnam, and he felt the anti-soldier sentiment was unfair. He thought news of this would be demoralizing to the young soldiers if they caught wind of it, and he wanted to somehow show them they were supported. I guess it was thinking about the ones coming back. back as well as the ones over there. You know, if they're seeing this news with banners

saying GIs are murderers and these sort of stuff, you're like, you know. Yeah, you often see like in movies and stuff, them coming back and people spitting on them in the streets. Yeah, yeah. Is that true? Yeah, I believe so. That's how bad the sentiment was.

And you're right. A lot of them are like they've called your birthday and you have to go over and you're like a 19 year old kid. Young kids. I don't think the lottery had happened at this point, but that did start happening a couple years later. It got changed. But at this point, there was a draft.

still and it sounds like it was kind of um you could sort of wriggle your way out of it especially the more privilege you had you know like if you had someone who knew someone they could write a letter and you'd get out of the draft gotcha but in this neighborhood apparently for the most part if you got drafted you'd go um so in his bar that night the colonel suggested a plan uh there's some things i'm quoting uh throughout this report and it's from a book written by Chicky about the event. So in the book it quotes, it quotes the colonel saying this out to all the punters in the bar.

He said, somebody ought to go over to Nam, track down our boys from the neighbourhood and bring them each a beer. Bring them excellent beer. Bring the messages from back home. Bring them encouragement. Tell them, we're with them,

every step of the way. That was his idea. That's what the colonel was thinking. And this is where John Chicky Donahue comes in. Chicky was a US merchant mariner, a civilian seaman who worked on tankers and other commercial ships. Jess if you could just explain to the class why you're having a giggle there. I tried to conceal the giggle. What are we giggling about, please?

Seamen. Sorry, I tried to not. And then Dave made it obvious I laughed. Sorry, I love because you laughed. I was being very mature. And then I brought the whole tone down I'm sorry

Now the whole class has to stay back Damn it right You're going to write semen on the board A hundred times In what What colour chalk Oh thank God chalk So Chicky was a merchant mariner

Let's say And prior to this He served in the US Marine Corps For four years From the late 50s Into the 60s As a seaman Yes

He joined at the age of 17 they rejected his application to rejoin in 1967, citing his old age. He was 26. Too old. So he tried to re-up, as he said, but they're like, nah, you're too old. All right, old man. Wow.

Come on, grandpa. Jog on, mate. Okay, keep going to. Oh, sorry, you probably can't jogger, I'm going to break a hip. How about you just waddle on gently, okay? Fucking out. Which is interesting because they needed so many. Yeah.

Rachel, you've had a couple of years. They're like, please come back. Take a 26-year-old. That's a young person. And they've been in before They've got a bit of maturity now He's seen the world Come on

I would kill to be 26 Yeah Kill Kill Well Vietnam A war might be the exact place for you Yeah But you come home

And you're even older than when you left This is bullshit This is what the fuck I said I'd kill to be 26 Not for this Many locals were drafted in the military Out of high school at the age of 18 Oh God that's so awful

You could even join at 17 though your parents would have to sign a permission slip. Like a field trip in school, a 9,000 mile field trip from which they might never return, as Chicky later wrote in his book. Yeah. I mean, I guess any field trip could be something you don't return from, can't it, you know? That's why you've got to just live every day.

That time that we lost four people at the Ballarat Sounded Light Show at Sovereign Hill. Grim day. You didn't go look for him or? Nah, they just didn't make it up back on the bus. but we hear that they set up with new lives there. That's good school. Oh, it's really nice. Yeah, it's lovely, actually.

Good size town. We did a head count. Yeah. We were short of you. What are you going to do? 14 is basically 18. Yeah. We'll be right.

We'll round it up. So, yeah, I'll quote this book a little bit. It's called The Greatest Beer Run Ever. It's a great book. I read it both in word form on the page and also noise form in the ears. Is there a third way you're planning to consume it? I also printed. it out the pages and ate them.

Fantastic. But yeah, obviously I don't go into the story in as much detail as the book. Fantastic book. Hot tip, beautifully red on the audible version. It's a red by chicky? It's not read by chicky, but it's read beautifully,

I will say that. By late 1967, 28 inward locals, and this is only a small neighborhood, 28 inward locals had been killed in Vietnam. Most of them in their late teens or early 20s. So real brutal. So I think this is all all of this wrapped up into them being like

And the protesters have been pretty rough on the Yeah On these soldiers Um Chicky thought the colonel was joking with his idea Going over for a beer run to war He's like, you can't be serious By then he realised no he was dead serious

Wow And the colonel, he was like, I'm going to do it myself He asked Chicky for his seaman pass Seaman card. Look, don't ask any questions, but I need your semen. Card. Which is like, it's an ID that was pretty much used as a passport and for people who were qualified could get work on ships.

Right. Travel around the world, they didn't even need a passport. But it was a photo ID and stuff. And Chikki's like, I mean, it's not going to work. It's not going to work. Firstly, you don't look like me. He's like, I've got red hair and you're 10 years older. And even if you did get a job, you don't know how to do that work.

Yeah. So he's like, that's not going to work. And then he thought about it. a little bit more, maybe he had a few more beers, and he started to think, maybe he was the man for the job. After all, he was a merchant mariner, and he had his Siemens card. He could get a job on a ship heading to Vietnam and make this audacious plan a reality. By the following day, word of the plan had gotten around the community. Chicky went back to the bar, got a big cheer from the crowd as he entered. They were like, he's going to do it. He's going to go, he's going to go

say hi to our boys for us. He was having second thoughts, though. He's like, what did I fucking sign up for? When the bar starts cheering, you're carried up under the bar, Cheeky, you can't say, I've had second thoughts. I actually think this might not be a good idea. We love you, Checky. Yeah, and you know, when you wake up with a bit of a regret,

I woke up the other week, I'd sent a nice email to someone I don't know that well, but I'd had a few drinks. and I think I was like overly nice and I woke up the next day like oh no what did I do imagine and I woke up with big regret about sending a nice email

I can't imagine waking up having suggested you would sneak into a wall you thought you were too nice what's the consequence of that oh just you know when you open up a bit too much to someone who you don't know that well yet I love to be earned it

I don't at all it's gross yeah I mean I thought at the time I was being yeah just the right amount of nice yeah

but you were too nice or yeah that's the fear but I think the part of the hangover is also like yeah it's a dropping away of self confidence and other things as well

so the locals are excited they're cheering him on so he's like all right I guess I'm going to do it and he started compiling a list so there are a few people with you know their sons were over there

It's like, you've got to go say hi to my son. And he knew all these people. He compiled the list and they also gave him, you know, their unit numbers or whatever. And that's all he had. So the list was Tommy Collins, Joey McFadden, Rich Reynolds, Kevin McClune, Rick Duggan and Bobby Pappas. Oh, some good names in there. Yeah, love them all. It was a small, close-knit community.

Chicky knew all of these guys well. Bobby Pappas, for instance, was one of his best mates growing up. But he knew them all. Some of them were younger brothers. of his mates and whatever. So he was now up for the mission, but he had great doubts that he'd even be able to pull it off. Like what are the odds that I can, you know,

I can get to Vietnam on a ship probably if I get the right job, but what are the odds that I can just walk into a war zone? Oh my God. The next day, he went down to the National Maritime Union Hall to go about getting a job on a Vietnam-bound ship. In the hiring hall, a board listed the ships that were in the... port and what positions were vacant.

So there'd be a big chalkboard or whatever. Lists of the different boats. I don't even think it said the destinations, but it said, oh, we need an oiler or we need a, you know, whatever. Any podcast? Podcast jobs going? We need a podcast. Trio.

We only go as a three. That's right. I'll never leave you. Dave, you do have to leave my house at some point today, though. I will not. I refuse. I'll get the fold out bed for you. Thank you.

Please, hold it out. Every time. I try. So accommodating. Bob. This is why he doesn't get the end. I haven't paid rent in a month. I don't know how to say,

I don't know how to say no to him. He's so cute. All this stuff's in storage. I don't think he has a home. Yeah, dude, right here. With the three of us. Where do you think I go at night? You go for a long walk.

For about a week at a time. So, yeah, he's got this big board, showing jobs that are vacant, what ships are in. Then he went in and there was all. also someone would come out and call out for ships. Ships! There's ships in the...

Ships! Ships! Do you want them? We got them. We got ships. You get a ship. So someone came out and they... The call came out.

The Drake Victory is short an oiler. And this was a job that Chicky was qualified for. He was qualified for a few different jobs. He's done a few different jobs. And oiler was one of them. Basically just oiling, working in the engine room. Lubin. Loobing it up.

Keeping it oil. Just a lubing semen. Yeah, exactly. The Drake was a refurbished World War II ship. Its job was delivering ammunition to the American forces in Vietnam. Okay, that's where he wants to go. Exactly. Okay.

But the ship was leaving imminently and Chicky got the gig. They were about to leave Short One Oiler. And he goes, I can do that. And they're like, all right, but we're going now. You'll have to swim. They left off an hour ago. Someone get the dinghy How fast can you canoe?

Just watching a man canoe after a big tanker. No, what they do is they put him on a missile. They shoot him to the boat from another boat. So they shoot a missile at the ammunition filled boat. Yeah, perfect. It's a blank one though. It's a blank one. It's a blank one.

And also they shoot it just to the left. And he just has to jump off. at the right time. And he veers a little bit left to really make sure. Yeah. He puts, he puts his, he's still got an awe.

And he just, he paddles to the left to make sure it. He's paddling. He's got a paddle in one hand or what a six pack for the boys on the other? Six pack from the boys. I'm coming Tommy Domino. Whatever the name is. Yeah,

he forgot that he said one of his friend's name, first name than his surname. Yeah. He was losing it. I'm coming, Tommy Donoghue. I'm a seaman and I'm... So he got the gig, but he didn't have enough time to head home to pack. So he quickly rushed to a nearby shop and bought a razor and some socks.

What do you need? That's how I travel. Well, yeah, he purchased one other thing. He went to a bar and bought a mixed slab of local New York beers, including brands such as Papp's Blue Ribbon, Schaefer, Schlitz, Peels, Ballantine and Rheingold. He then saw a pay phone and made a quick call to his parents to let them know he was heading off for a while.

When they asked where he was going, he replied vaguely saying, Asia. He'd been to Vietnam before. He didn't want to worry his parents were saying, oh, I'm just sneaking into a war. And even when he was there, he never, when he served, he never really saw action. He was on the perimeter of,

the war he was sort of i think yeah i don't know maybe he was just stayed on the boat or whatever but he didn't go inland at all uh anyway with that he hopped on the drake and less than 48 hours after the colonel floated this wild idea set sail for vietnam wow that is with a pair of socks and a razor yeah that's all like the clothes on his back he texts in that they're like one spare pair of socks now and a razor have a shape no spare jocks yeah spare jocks where's your change of clothes. I don't have any stuff. And then he's got this slab of beers and then doesn't drink him.

It's funny. He's told the story differently a couple times. Because sometimes he says he drank him on the way over. But I think officially in his book anyway, he stores them in the right at the back of the ship's fridge and he leaves them there for the. Also they're cold. That's good. Nice. Can he like surely he could buy clothes and stuff on the boat?

war ships have Yeah it's a P&O warships Yeah There's like a kiosk There's like a little clothing shop A little gambling area Exactly it might be like It might not be his taste

But it'll at least be able to get a couple of t-shirts You might have to wear a magnet or something You might have to wear a magnet Yeah Or a tea towel or something Yeah that's right But teattails can make very good underwear In a good fashion's

Only extra smaller Extra extra large Hawaiian shirt So up to you Yeah That'll do So after a brief stop over in Panama I think they went across the Panama Canal.

Oh. Panama. You didn't say Canal this time. I can't help. If I read it and I read it in this book a few times, my brain just wants to say canal. Maybe it's because you also heard it in this book a few times. Yeah, that helped. Maybe I'm learning.

Proud of you. I'm like a learning robot. That's what I think of myself as. Yeah. So after a brief stopover in Panama, they sailed across the Pacific Ocean to Vietnam. The trip was relatively excitement free. apart from when the ship caught fire. And when you're sailing on a ship carrying 10,000 tons of ammunition,

fire is not ideal. Yeah, especially if you're the oil guy. Yeah. You're probably covered in flammable liquid. So there was smoke coming out and they were trying to figure out where I was coming from. Apparently before that, they were fighting over who did what duties and stuff. But he's like, when we saw that fire, we all worked as a team to put it out. And there were no arguments after that for the rest of the trip.

The crew worked in shifts, four hours on, eight hours off, four hours on eight hours off, over and over for weeks on end. And Shiki pulled many double shifts. So he was doing eight hours on, eight hours off or whatever, or probably eight hours on four hours off if it's on double shifts. Then on January 19th, 1968, after eight weeks at sea, the Drake Victory dropped anchor in South Vietnam's Quignon Harbor. Despite being docked in the harbour, the seaman was still required to work their shifts because they had to keep the ship maintained. He had to keep oiling that engine.

That had to be... Keep oiling. Keep oiling it. But with all his double shifts, he'd banked up enough favours to cover three days away if he could get permission. Chiky naively thought three days would be enough time for him to find his friends.

Okay. Yeah, it's all right, three days. How big can Vietnam be? Well, I know, it's only South Vietnam as well. What was it? We're talking about half a day per person. Yeah, easy. You're like, you come to Australia.

You're in Victoria, right? Second small estate. Easy peasy. You've got three days to find six people? No problem. No fucking problem, mate. Yeah. Easy.

I mean, you know their regiment numbers or whatever? Yeah. How hard can it be? Yeah. Okay, yeah, no, I take back that question. I think it's easy. Two days. He was taking a leisurely stroll.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Third days for vacation. For rest. Yep. That's when you buy souvenirs. magnets, etc.

He needs his new clothes. So there was no plan. He didn't know where they were. I mean, he knew they were in South Feather. Great. I mean, he just narrowed down, you know, there's about 200 other countries they're not in. Yeah.

Easy. Ready to go. It doesn't have enough waste time there. I'm in the right area. Yeah. He also didn't have a change of clothes, as we've discussed. All he had was what he was wearing, a pair of jeans and a short-sleeved button-up checked shirt.

He's been wearing it for eight weeks. Yes. In the book he wrote, I'd thrown on clothes I knew would be cool in the ship's engine room, and I hadn't really planned out a travel wardrobe for Vietnam. I just hadn't really thought about it. I mean, it happened really quick since he got the job to, he just didn't have a lot of time to think about it.

He sought permission from the ship's captain to take three days leave. He had to spin a story about how his stepbrother was in Vietnam serving, and he needed to give him some sad news. and wanted to do it face to face. The captain grilled him, gave him a bit of a hard time, thought he was maybe full of shit, but in the end, he said, you can go on the strict condition,

you're back on the ship in three days time, 8 a.m. sharp. Okay. He's like, and don't get killed, I can't be bothered with the paperwork. Love that. That's a great scene. So with his backpack, with beer, socks,

razor, chicky headed out into Vietnam. The first Americans he saw was some military police whose job it was to guard American ships in the harbour. He noticed that their helmets had the insignias of the 127th MP company. Checking his list, he realized it was Tommy Collins' unit. No. He asked the soldiers if they knew Collins, and they did, saying they were about to relieve his shift.

Are you kidding me? That's so like so freaking lucky Due to security reasons The seaman on the Drake victory Weren't told where they'd be docking in Vietnam But out of pure coincidence They landed right on the doorstep Of the first man on his list

Top of the list Tommy Collins He found him within Seconds Yeah that's right He couldn't believe it And when he called out to his New York buddy Tommy Collins couldn't believe it either

He asked what the hell Chicky was doing there and Chicky handed him a beer saying, quote, this is from the colonel and me and all the guys and Doc Fiddlers. We all talked about it, and we decided that somebody ought to come over here and buy you guys a drink and appreciation for what you're doing. Well, here I am.

You'd be like, okay, I've died and I'm in a dream. This is, what the hell? Apparently Tommy was gobsmackers like, what the hell is going on? I think that's a fair reaction. Then he opened the beer, knocked it down in one go. And is Tommy having a beer with him like he like cheers? Chicky.

Chicky, sorry, sorry. Chicky having a. Yeah, I think yeah, they're sharing the beers. And then Chicky took Tommy and some of his soldier mates out to a bar that night and they drank and caught up until the bar closed. Then they went back to the barracks and drank and sang Irish folk songs into the wee hours. Then all of a sudden in the middle of the night, you know, they're causing a bit of a ruckus. A lieutenant comes out yelling at them asking, what the hell are you doing?

people trying to sleep you're all drunk here what's going on Tommy and the other snap to attention as well as they could in their inebriated condition but chicky was feeling cheeky and he snapped back Lieutenant and what authority are you questioning these men we're on a particular mission here tonight

and I suggest you return to your barracks chicky you cheek you bastard somehow to the surprise of all involved this worked Oh my God. Chicky had no idea why, but later, after other high-ranking officials paid him similar unearned respect, someone explained to him, they think you're CIA.

Because why the hell else would you be here? In jeans and a plaid shirt, no less. You're not a tourist, are you? So they're all thinking he's on some secret business. He's undercover sort of just getting around. And that's so it happened on numerous occasions that high-ranking soldiers just let him go about whatever he was doing. And that was a big part.

He just sort of lucked onto this, but that was a big part of how he was able to make his way around Vietnam. That is amazing. Bright and early the next morning, Chihi continued on his journey. Amazingly, while at the bar the night before, he noticed a big Texan sergeant

who wore a similar insignia of one of the other man on his list, Rick Duggan. The Texan didn't know Duggan, but knew his Bravo company was up in Arn K, and he offered to fly Chicky up there on a mail run the next morning, which was now when it was.

He's like, hey, I can fly you up. And he's like, I don't have any papers because you needed to show papers to travel inside Vietnam and especially on Army planes and whatever. Look fair. And he didn't have those, obviously. But the Texan was like, that's all right. I'll take you up anyway. They flew around 40 miles northwest and Chicky jumped out with the bags of mail.

before the Texan took off again. So he just jumped out. The mail was dumped, and the Texan sergeant flew. Unfortunately, the Bravo Company and Duggan had already left Arn K that morning, though. So his luck would run out a little here. Damn.

Yeah, so it was so close to just go and bang, bang, but yeah, he'd missed him by a couple of hours. Chicky was told they'd headed north closer to the demilitarized zone at the North Vietnam border. This was around 200 miles away. from where Chicky found himself. There was still a few soldiers around packing down the camp, including a tent with a sergeant who was about a mile away, he was told.

So Chicky hiked up there, and he found a sergeant who took pity on him when he spun a story about Doug and being his stepbrother and that he needed to talk to him. That was the story he told generally. He would be more honest with lower, like, privates and lower... Yeah, I was here for a couple of beers with the boys, and then, yeah, no, he's my stepbrother.

I've got terrible news that I simply must tell him. So the sergeant agreed to let him fly up to see Duggan, despite the fact he didn't have the right papers, obviously, or any business being in the war zone at all. All Chicky had to do to get on this plane was hiked back to the airfield before it took off within an hour. So he had to sort of rush back now. And he was hurrying along in the recently abandoned area,

which to me is like, that's pretty eerie in itself. Yeah. down a dirt road in the jungle. Was he on foot? On foot. And he's, you know, he's, no one knows he's there really. Yeah. He's all alone.

He doesn't know what's going on in the areas around him either. He doesn't know why everyone's abandoned that space. You know, he doesn't know anything. So he's sort of doing a power walk down the dirt road to try and catch this plane when a Jeep approached. And so Chicky asked if he could hit your ride. This is how we got around. hitching either cars or planes or helicopters.

The driver said, Holy Christ, chick, what the hell? Get fucked. It was Kevin McClune, another friend from the list. Get absolutely fucked. This is true. This is amazing. Have you read a novel?

It was in the fiction section, which I thought was weird. Wow. He explained the trip and handed Kevin a beer. Kevin's like, I'm driving. Okay, so I'll hold the beer for you. Let me know when you want to sip. I think Kevin said something like, ooh, do I dare drink and drive? And then laughed.

Oh, I don't know if I could. Just kidding. I'm in a war. What's the worst could happen? Is everyone else in the Jeep like, are there beers for us? Yeah, the other two guys got beers. And they were like, what the fuck? What the hell's going on?

They just picked up a dude who gave me beers. They couldn't believe it either. Like, yeah, they were like, what? And he tells the story and they're like, you're kidding. Like everyone, this isn't like some, oh, I end the 60s. This sort of stuff was done. Everyone there was like, this is fucking wild. So they had a bit of a catch-up.

Chicky was able to fill in Kevin on what was going back home. And but Chicky was starting. He's like, the clock's ticking now. He'd been there a day by this stage. And he only had two more days. Yeah, but he'd already found two of them and a third of his list. A third on the way.

Yeah. And but he's like, I've really got to keep going. I need to catch this plane. Would you be able to get me there? And he's like, no worries. And Kevin Fang got to the plane. They said their goodbye. They're like, oh, amazing.

This is real cool. So he got on the plane. Two young GIs were also on board. And he asked if they knew his friend Rick Duggan. They did. they were in the same company I mean this is less of a coincidence because he knew this plane was going to where

Dougan was but then so they were a couple of privates I think or you know lower ranking soldiers so he told the truth he's like I'm over here

I'm delivering a beer to Dougan and one of them was like that is sick man but the other one who was quite young he apparently didn't want to have anything to do with him after that he's like this sounds like trouble. I'm not involved in this.

Yeah, I can understand that, I guess. Once they landed, they were still a fair way from the final destination, but he knew that if he followed the two GIs, they'd lead him straight to Duggan. When he tried to catch a helicopter to landing zone, Jane, a corporal asked for his rank. They're like, you've got to sign in a document to get on the planes. He said, my name's Chicky Donahue. And he's like, and rank? He said, oh, uh, civilian.

And the corporal was like, what? And he got suspicious, like, why would you be here? And he said, oh, look, you're going to have to, I'm not the highest ranking officer here. I can't okay this. You're going to have to talk to the major. He's sort of like going, this isn't my problem. I don't want to deal with this. So I'll let Chicky take the story up from here from his book.

The major turned to me and said, you want to go to LZ Jane, landing zone Jane. Where are you coming from? From down south, sir, I said. I've got to see someone at LZ Jane. I wasn't keeping it vague on purpose, but it worked in my favour. I see, said the major, and he gave me a knowing look. It was the CIA effect, working its magic again.

I've got to see someone, wink, wink. It's like, always saying, I need to shit. Got to see a man about it. I've got to see someone at Landing Zone Jane. Ah, say no more. Yeah, it's a code brown, sir. Roger that. So the major replies, okay, right, I understand.

And he turned to the corporal. said, Corporal, put Mr. Donahue on the list. And then he turned back to Chickie, said, Did you eat yet? And I said I hadn't. So the major put his arm around me, led me to the mess tent, and we dined together. What?

During the meal, he told me about what they'd been up to up there. I couldn't believe I was sitting there dining with a major. I went into the Marines of Private, and four years later, I came out of private. But I was a four-star general when it came to slinging BS. At one point, he leaned over and asked furtively, can you tell me a little bit about what's going on? Sure, I'd be glad to, I said.

See, I have a stepbrother Rick, who's in Bravo company, and I'm going to bring him a beer. With that, the major burst in a laughter and shook his head. You guys from Saigon are all alike, he said. You keep everything to yourselves. Yeah, you see, I came here all the way from New York to give a guy a beer. Yeah. If you don't want to tell me, you don't want to tell me. I shouldn't have asked.

I shouldn't have asked. They have to make up crazy stories. That's a good one, sir. That's amazing. So I guess CIA is based in Saigon or what's now Hocchimin City. Saigon was the capital of South Vietnam. Yeah. From dinner, Chicky headed straight to the helicopter to catch his flight.

On board, another little quirky tale occurred, and I'll let Chicky tell this one too. This one's pretty silly. But I thought worth telling. I thought you'd get a little kick out of it. Okay, we'll see. I want to get a little chick out of it. So this is chicky. You fly with the doors wide open,

and I have to admit, about halfway to play coup, I was scared. We were headed to High Lang up in Kwongtree province, less than an hour away from the demilitarized zone. We were not over-friendly territory. Now, a little thing I did not know about choppers is how much the wind rushes inward.

And I must confess, I pass gas. The pilots and the GIs made a big deal out of it. I guess it was bad. So the pilot comes. off the engine. He yelled, okay,

everybody out now. This is unbearable. And we started to drop. What? I thought we were going to crash into enemy territory. I was totally freaking out. Then the pilots looked at each other

and started roaring with laughter. They turned the engine back on and we swooped up. They'd been busting my chops. I mean, how bad... Prank! I thought we were going to die! Prank!

How bad does your fart have to be? The air running, rushing in from the outside doesn't blow... You know, when you put down the window in the car and it's enough. But this, that's a hell of a fuck. I think he shat his pants. I think maybe some of that dinner he had with your major was it.

Yeah, that's right. No, in fairness, this is a man who's been wearing in the same underwear for 10 weeks at this point. And it's also living on a diet of beer. Yeah. It would be pretty rough stuff, I think. Prank. But also like, you're at a war. Should we be pranking?

You know what I mean? It's actually like. Let's not turn the engines off. Let's not. Just plummeting from the sky. Frank. All right, that's it. This fart is so bad.

I'm going to kill us all. It's everybody out. Everybody out is funny. Yeah, that is good. All right, everybody out. That's good stuff. That fard has made me welcome death. We've all had farts that have made us welcome death, okay?

Well, on that fun note, we'll be back right after this message. All right. so he's caught the plane done a big fart that is chops busted yeah yeah yeah and then when they arrived in quong tree province

a sergeant major greeted them and they asked the two GIs he was with who's this guy who's the stinky man who's this increasingly stinky girl this guy's where's like shit

who the fuck is he did you fart the young wary GI replied I don't know I don't have anything to do with him he's just been following us Oh, come. She was like so much.

I've never seen that man before my life. Luckily when Chicky told his story and how he was there to give Doug and a beer, the Sergeant Major found it hilarious and wanted to play along. Yeah. You CIA boys. Okay, give a beer. All right.

Despite now being in a particularly dangerous part of the war zone, so they're right up north, getting a lot closer to the border of north and south of Vietnam. the Sergeant Major called Duggan back to the base. He was out on patrol and he radioed. He said, hey, come back. There's someone who needs to see you. I need you back here.

And then he got Chicky to hide in a foxhole. Put a tarp over him. When Duggan got back, he was like, you needed to see me? And the sergeant major said, I don't need to see you. And he pulled the canvas off. He said, but he does. Oh, my God. Another prank.

So many places you could have to be. And apparently everyone cracked up. And Duggan was like, what the hell? Chicky? What are you doing here? Yeah, I don't understand it. Duggan was like, what am I meant to do with him? And Sergeant Major replied, take him with you.

He's your problem now. All I know is he can't be here. Rick looked at Chicky and handed him a poncho and said, put this on. That outfit is like wearing a sign that says, shoot me, I'm from New York. That night, Chicky slept in a foxhole on the very outer perimeter of their base. Through the night, Duggan and the others took turns keeping watch. So this is like real serious business.

They were out there checking the perimeter in shifts. Chicky didn't. He was... Chicky's like, I'm a civilian. I can't. I can't. One of the others handed him a gun and like, just in case. And Chicky is like, I don't want that.

You know, I'm more likely to accidentally shoot someone than. don't he good with it. Yeah. And but he was like, I can't sleep. He's like, when they hand him the gun, like the gravity of it all sunk in. He's like, holy shit. It took him that long to realize that he'd actively gone to a war zone to deliver beers. There were some of these other soldiers are like, hang on a second.

You don't have to be here and you are? What are you doing? So, yeah, anyway, he couldn't sleep. Whereas his mate, Rick Doug. And he's like, how do you sleep here knowing what's going on? And Duggan's like, you get four hours at a time to sleep. So you sleep. And he like fell asleep straight away.

It just, he just knew he had to, I guess. And I guess it gets normalized in time. And he was probably just a badass as well. In the night, members of the North Vietnamese army was spotted on the perimeter. And Duggan and the other soldiers snapped into action. Chiggy was handed the only spare weapon they had. A grenade launcher He was like

If you give me this gun I don't know what to do I might hurt somebody I couldn't He was a grenade launcher And he did like he was in the marines For four years He knew how to use a gun

But yeah he was just I think he was a lover You know He didn't want to I'm afraid I'm a delivery boy Okay The only weapon we've got

Here's the keys to that tank Do you know how to drive a stick Yeah it's a little sticky In third year Oh my God A grenade I launched, sorry. That's very funny.

That's so good. But he didn't use it. He just laid low and let the gunfight happen, which it did. There was machine gunfire coming in both directions. And it raged on. He was like, it went on for ages. But they all made it through to the morning alive. At least people on his side.

I guess he didn't know what happened on the northern side. Then Chicky went out with Duggan and his crew as they did a, inspection around the area to make sure no one was there or whatever then hiked back to the base that night they shared some of the beers so dougan was like glad you're here but we can't drink the beers out of you we got to do some pretty important work and we can't be a little tipsy but the next night they were back in the center of the base and others were on the perimeter so they but is that the final night and he's only found three of them which in hindsight incredibly found anyone at all. Oh my god. And how quickly you found them insane. Yeah. The next morning

Duggan was being sent off to another location so they said their goodbyes. Duggan's like, you can't come with me this time and you probably don't want to anyway because it's it's only getting more hectic from here. It had now been four days since Chicky left the ship and it was meant to be back in three. So he jumped on the only available helicopter. Duggan hooked it up. He's like, I need to help get this guy out of here. And he's like, where's this one heading? And it was heading east. He's like, oh, I need to go south to get back to my ship.

And Dougan was like, well, beggars can't be chooses here. Yeah, get on the helicopter. Just get the hell out of here. Get to the chaper. It's what he said. Yeah, that's right. It's not a tumor. That doesn't make any sense.

So he jumped on that plane, headed east. Then he got on another plane. and ended up in Foucat now getting desperate to get back to his ship he decided to walk the final 17 miles it was night time oh my god the base he arrived at there like

you can't you can't make it there tonight you can grab a bunk sleep he went to the bunk he's like I could not sleep I was too nervous about getting back to the ship so he got up and in darkness he headed off down a dirt road

what the fucking else He only made it about a mile down there, and a woman saw him and did a blood-curdling scream. Jesus. And he's like, oh, this doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel right. A woman sees you and screams. Yeah. Okay.

That's an interesting instinct he's had. And so he decided to turn back. He said he's never forgotten that scream and the feeling that he was the reason for the scream. Like he feels awful about it. the next day he was glad he turned back he went back slept in the bunk he was like right I'll have to try in the morning he hitched a ride in a jeep down that same dirt road and he was glad he didn't carry on on foot the night before because he realized and he was told that at night time the vat kong own that strip like they're they're all over at the night time no

americans go down that oh sort of a no-go zone at night time and as he went down he's like I'm just looking at all these spots where I could have easily been captured. Oh my God. He's like, if I got caught, at best, I don't get killed, and I'm a prison of war for years after that. Yeah. So he's like just thinking his lucky stars. Oh. So he headed back to the Queen-on port in the relative safety of the Jeep.

But when he arrived, he found that the Drake victory had left without him. No, they didn't wait even a day. It was ahead of schedule, and apparently it's the biggest. uh no no to do is to uh to to to go missing from your ship and not come back on time right they're like they can't they wait for no man sort of thing luckily you didn't leave all of his clothes and everything on there because he didn't have anything anyway he's still got his socks he's got his socks and a razor they did a head count they counted 17 seamen and like that's basically 18 yeah he found out that his ship was on its way back to america via manila in the philippines so he went about figuring out a

way to catch up with it. Unfortunately though, he was about to get bogged down in bureaucracy. He was told he needed a visa to be able to leave the country and that to get a visa, he needed a passport, which he didn't have. He's like, how quickly can I get this? I'm trying to catch up with my ship. They're like, it takes as long as it takes. It could be two, three, four days. We don't know. And he's like, oh, all right. So by this point, he had to get to Saigon or Huchyman City, the capital to get all this done. That's where the American embassy was. He tried to catch a ride down on a plane but was refused as he didn't have the right papers as he never did this hadn't been an issue much before but that was mainly because of the whole CIA effect

but what have I told you I work for the CIA that's not what a CIA person would say don't say they're delivering a beer to a friend yeah I know the code he reckons it the mistake he made was he said oh I've got to get to the embassy and they're like the embassy what that's a weird thing for a CIA person to say and he reckoned that's what made them think he was actually just a weird civilian. Luckily he found a pilot that took pity on him. The pilot was like, look,

don't tell anyone, but if I, once I board the plane, there's a bunch of other people getting on. If I give you a signal, a hand signal, come on, don't say anything,

sit down and shut up. Okay. What was a signal like, fuck off. Don't get on. Don't get on the plane. Yeah. Flipping the bird.

Don't. Don't. And he's like, the signal, great. As he boarded the plane, the pilot whispered to him, just do me one favor. When you get to Saigon, have a bath. He said that. Yeah.

And he said, okay, thank you so much. You must have smelled so bad. Yeah. Like, it's a very sweaty sort of jungle climate that he's been walking through. And he does not have any clothes. No. Two pairs of socks, though. Yeah.

So at least he's got a sock rotation. So he's not getting trench foot. think you're putting like one pair of socks on your feet and a sock on your dick sock on your cock damn it why do i say dick really like to have a style yeah sock cock cock cock so uh once in sagon slash hoachiamin hoachiam in city he went to the american embassy and started the slow process of getting a passport which would then allow him to get a visa which would then allow him to make it back fly to manila and catch his ship home catch up with his ship as he was in the maritime

union, he received $40 a day while he was stranded there, so he could at least afford basic food and rent in the time. So he was like so glad I was in the union. If he was there not being part of the union, he would have had to find work or, you know, battled a way to survive. So, yeah, in this case, he could actually have a bath. Yes. Thank God.

Yeah, I think he said he did that. He kept his promise and he had a bath. That's good. he settled into life in the South Vietnam capital socializing enjoying the bars talked a bit about this bar that was run by Australians he had a great time there and yeah well he'd sort of spend his time all around the city eventually found a a less touristy part of the city where he could get cheaper rent and you know he was he's like it was a beautiful it was an amazing colorful city then he started the process of

of getting his visa. He had to first wait for the passport. Took a week, but it arrived. Then he went, got the visa. The guy at the embassy, who was helping him, was like, it cost 900 bucks to get a visa. Four. And it's kind of sounded like it was basically

like an official bribe to the South Vietnam government. And he's like, I don't have 900 bucks. And the guy at the embassy, when got the cash, apparently the US embassy would give the cash. He didn't. give him the cash, but someone from the embassy went with him to pay for the visa.

Whoa. Which was lucky, obviously. I guess they were like, we'd prefer you to get out of here as well. Frankly, we're embarrassed you made it in. Yeah. Does not look good for us. Please don't write a book about this. He wanted to find the other guys on his list, but unfortunately he needed to check in with

a consulate each day to find out when his visa got there to have any chance of getting to Manila. out with his ship. So I had to stay local. Finally, after checking in at the consulate each day, his visa arrived. The clerk then said, or the clerk then said, that's the good news. Unfortunately, the bad news is your ship has already left Manila. And he was like, yeah, I probably could have guessed that. This took fucking ages.

This red tape. Thanks a lot. Luckily, though, the clerk said another ship was going to be leaving Manila in a few days. and he'd organised with the captain to take Chicky on and they had a flight booked to Manila for him the next morning. So he was... Brilliant. And again, a bit of luck.

He's had a bit of bad luck, but mainly he's had a very lucky run. Yeah, he's had a bit of a dream run. And people have been quite helpful. Yeah, that's right. Sounds like he's a bit of a friendly and fun guy. Yeah. People like him straight away.

Apparently, in his neighbourhood in New York, he's just known by everyone and everyone seems to really like him. It's just that kind of guy, I guess. which yeah is probably what helps get you around in these sort of scenarios. So it was very relieved. He's like, all right. So I just, I've got to sleep tonight, get up in the morning, I'm on my way home. I didn't see all the guys, but I saw some and, you know, it's amazing what I've done.

Great. He decided to go out to celebrate his last night in Vietnam. By chance, Saigon was ready to party with him as it was their new year's. According to Chiqui, it was the lunar new year, which lasts for days. They told me it was called Tet and that it's a bigger deal than ours. The Vietnamese travel back to their home villages and visit family and honor their ancestors. The reporters hanging out at the Caravelle Bar, that's the Aussie one, I think, had told it. So, yeah, he'd hang out with the journalists who were there covering the story and all.

They talked about this as the TV war because I think the US Army has now stopped that from happening, but there the reporters were sort of roaming free and there was a lot of coverage going back into America. So talking to the journalists at the bar, they'd told us that Ho Chi Minh and General Japp had sought a Tet holiday truce and that President Johnson had agreed to it. Lyndon B agreeing to a truce.

Chicky got back to his accommodation at 3am. He'd organised for a wake-up call at 5am. Oh no, Chicky. So he went out partying. It was New Year's Eve. you know, there was a bit of atmosphere around. What do you want him to do, Dave? Go to bed early, get a good night's sleep, have a bath.

Come on, you're being unreasonable. I don't know, chicky. I mean, he got back two hours before he was meant to wake up. Yeah. That's something. So, yeah, he had a wake-up call at 5 a.m. And was going to get a lift to the US Embassy for his flight to Manila. He tried to get a couple of hours of sleep before having to head off.

But the New Year's Eve fireworks were so loud, he was unable. They're still going at 3, 4 a.m. Yeah. He tried for an hour. and he's like, it's so loud, I can't even sleep. Then something shattered through his window. With that, he jumped up. He's like, if the New Year's Eve parting is this wild, the traffic's going to be a nightmare.

So he's like, I'm just going to get up and go now. When he found the hotel manager, he seemed flustered. He yelled something in Korean, which Shiki didn't quite understand. Then the manager started yelling in French, Buku VC, Buku VC. Chiki was confused. He knew it meant something. something like a lot of Viet Cong, Viet Cong were sort of on the other side to the Americans,

but he'd been out only hours before and seen no VC anywhere, no Viet Cong anywhere. And anyway, they're in the middle of a truce. Well, it turned out the truce was bogus. What Chikki didn't know was he was now right in the middle of the Tet Offensive. Oh my God. According to Britannica, the Tet Offensive consisted of simultaneous attacks by some 85,000 troops under the direction of the North Vietnamese government.

The attacks were carried out against five major South Vietnamese cities, dozens of military installations, and scores of towns of villages throughout South Vietnam. The offensive was a crushing tactical defeat for the North, but it struck a sharp psychological blow that eroded support for the war among the American public and political establishment. So it was sort of, as an offensive, in itself it was a failure.

Yeah. A lot of people died on both sides, more on the North Vietnamese side. But it did end up sort of, it's seen as one of the big things that ended up starting the Americans on the path to leaving the war or trying to organise peace or whatever.

I felt like the Tet Offensive feels like, you know, it's a whole episode itself. Yeah, I'd have heard of that, yeah. Even maybe, yeah, it did make me think, I don't know that much about, I did, well, I knew even less about the Vietnam War before now. It might make an interesting episode, perhaps. It's obviously very complicated like every war is.

But I did knock out World War I in a couple of episodes. Yeah, how hard could it be? So there was chaos on the streets, but the gravity of the situation hadn't really sunk in with Chicky. He didn't realize still that what had actually happened. He was making his way to the embassy. And in his mind, all he had to do was get there. and he'd be on his way to Manila then back home.

But he soon found out the embassy had been taken by the Viet Cong. There would be no flight to Manila for Chiqui. Shit, shit. So the embassy was this, it was like, he talked about it like it was a, guarded like a castle. He's like, it had everything but a moat. So you would have thought it was impenetrable. Yeah.

But it was pretty lightly guarded. And, yeah, that's, I think it was like 17 Viet Cong soldiers were able to take it over. Whoa. Chicky spent the night on the streets hiding behind trees and other nooks and crannies. His hotel and the area around it had also been taken by the Viet Cong. Shit. So he was sort of now, had nowhere to go, nowhere safe to go.

So he's hiding. He found this spot in this little nook in a wall and he stayed there for hours as he's here in gunfight, fire going back and forth. And one of the fireworks it is. hearing before actually gunfire? Yes, that's right. So he's not being able to sleep because he thinks it's fine. He's like, geez, they're partying hard.

I'm not realizing it was actually gunfire. Whoa. He somehow made it through the night. And with his plans to escape via Manila now dashed, Chicky was destined to live in Saigon a little longer. The US military knew something was happening prior to the Tet offensive, apparently. According to Chicky, the US military leadership had received intelligence that something big was about to happen, but it underestimated how big.

Apparently, apparently there was the TED Offensive, the communications were a bit off, and some cities were attacked the night before. There was confusion about what night was meant to happen. And even still, apparently the US Army were underprepared for it, even though they kind of had this tip off. And they were like, oh, anyway, still better party for New Year's Eve. Yeah, apparently they only put one extra soldier on the US embassy to go. it.

Good. Even though they knew something was about to happen. This is all, I mean, this is all from Chicky. Who was there? He goes on, the death toll in the two-month period of Tet from January 29 through March 31, 1968 was 3,895 American servicemen, 14,300 civilians, 4,954-Fietnamese soldiers, 214, and 14,000, and 58,373 North Vietnamese and Viet Cong-Four. forces.

Fucking hell, that's so many people. Yeah. In a two-month period. That's right. And apparently it was quite a departure for the North Vietnamese tactically. They were, it was really they were doing guerrilla warfare.

This was them going out in the open. And this was the first time that so many of them died. And yeah, so it was really just, they was sending them out there for the slaughter, hoping for the tactical win of, like the propaganda war almost. They were hoping that the South Vietnamese would uprise

and join the communist side of the battle, which didn't happen, but I think that was one of the hopes of the North Vietnamese. One silver lining of having to remain in Vietnam was that Chicky was now able to tick one more name off his list. No. Bobby Pappas was one of Chicky's best mates from back home and he had found out where he was stationed at the Longbin Army base

that was only an hour's drive from Saigon. The Tet Offensive fighting continued, but the US forces had secured the main road going northeast, and Chicky saw this as his opportunity to visit his old mate. Like, they got the embassy back within hours. And so a lot of those, a lot of the Tet Offensive, you know, was undone pretty quickly. Yeah. But the fighting went on.

Yeah, wow. But it was still like, there was footage of this going back in order. America and Americans, apparently the public was starting to go like, holy shit, this is, we were told that we were winning this war, but this doesn't look like that's the, it's going in the right direction like we've been told. So according to Chicky, back out on the road, I hitched a ride northeast to the Long Bin base. When we arrived, I couldn't believe the huge scale of the place. About 50,000 soldiers were stationed there, as well as some of the top army generals in charge of planning the logistics of the war. Long Bin had restaurants, stores and

an Olympic-sized swimming pool, tennis courts, basketball courts, a golf driving range, a bowling alley, classrooms, theaters, tennis courts and nightclubs. They're hectic. Chicky approached some military police and told them he was Bobby Pappas's stepbrother. They're like, really, if you're really his stepbrother, why don't you tell us some of the wild stories? He tells us about New York. And he's like, oh, yeah, like this one or that one. I'm like, holy shit.

He's never said that one before. Yeah, yeah. They're like, all right, let's, we'll, yeah, we'll take it to him. I'll prove you no, Bobby Peppers. He talks about a lot of the stories he sort of scatters through the book as well. A lot of them are pretty fun. Anyway, they took him to Bobby, no problems from there. And the two had a great reunion with Chicky giving his old mate,

one of New York's finest before the two headed to a bar for the night, and Chicky was able to catch Bobby up on how his wife and his baby were doing. Oh, that's nice. They also reminisce about old times. So these are 26-year-olds, but they're reminiscing. I forgot he's 26. Yeah. Fucking hell.

That's wild. And a lot of the people that he's catching up with already, they've been like 20 years old. Yeah. So this, I haven't gone through many of his old neighborhood stories, but this one I thought was shortened, a bit of fun. So this is one of the stories apparently they reminisced about. They used to live in an apartment together. and one story in the book was that they let someone stay in their apartment

because he had worn out his welcome everywhere else. He's like, I can't know where else to go. I'm a real pest. They're like, all right, you can stay with us. I'm a terrible house guest. And it sounds like he really was. So this guy, Jimbo, his name was, I think. Jimbo.

He got so hot. He's like, it's too hot. So he broke every window in the apartment to let cool air in. What? But then it became so freezing. So Bobby and Chicky went to a bar to warm up. And when they came home, firefighters were putting out a fire, Jimbo had set because he was too cold. Has Jimbo somehow like Brendan Fraser style traveled from the past?

Doesn't know how to open a window? It's an Encino man. And then he started a fire because he was too cold because he'd smashed all the windows. Incredible. A great story. Hey, Jimmy, just come over here to see this latch. You can just push that window up. And if you get too cold, you push it back down.

You can control. How much air can get in, that's what's crazy. Yeah, he set fire to like a gas heater. It's too cold. Anyway, so Chicky stay with Bobby on the base for the next few nights. He now didn't have this deadline anymore. He thought he was going to be flying back to, fly to Manila the day before. Yeah.

But that couldn't happen. So he stayed for a few nights before heading back to Saigon. When he was back there, the next night, he was at a rooftop bus. talking with journalists again. Rooftop bar, lovely. Yeah, apparently they moved all the bars to the rooftops because of there were a bunch of bar explosions on ground floors so that for safety all the bars in Saigon ended up being moved up to the rooftops.

Why are they exploding? Why are they exploding? Like enemy bombs. Oh, gotcha. They're in a war. They're in a war day. But does the rooftop not explode? I think that, I guess it's just, I don't know if they were like, you know.

If you're on top of a building and the bottom of the building and the bottom of the building explodes. Are you not also in danger? But it's a lot hard. I guess it's a lot harder to get a bomb. It's a lot easy to go through a front door and chuck a bomb in. Gotcha. I was thinking that there was like terrible bar people,

like accidentally, you know, like making moonshine. Oh, right. They need a, yeah, no roof on top because of all the awful putrid gases that were being created. Open air. That was Chicky. That was because Chicky has fucking dropped his guts again. We're going to need to get this guy to one of our outdoors.

or areas. Drop his guts is, drop your guts is such a funny, euphemism for a fart. Dropping your guts. In my head, I was like thinking van bombs and stuff, you know,

on the front door steps. But yeah, I don't know why I jumped to that conclusion. But anyway, apparently that was why the rooftop bars were more popular. But anyway, so he's up on the rooftop bar

when all of a sudden there was a massive explosion to the northeast, and the night sky lit up orange. He said it looked like a mushroom cloud. Four. Then there was a series of further explosions getting louder and louder.

And he knew straight away, this was a long bin where he just spent the last few days with his mate Bobby Pappas. Chickia was obviously worried sick about his friend. And he got the first available ride back up there to check on him. When he got there, he was relieved to find that Bobby was safe and sound. And they spent the night in the bar once again. This would prove to be the last leg of Chicky's epic beer run As soon after, he found himself a gig as an oiler

On a ship called the SS Limon There was a lot more to the story of Chicky Donahue's time in Vietnam And I'd again recommend reading his book if you're interested I believe the story is also being made into a feature film Oh cool I think Russell Crow might be in it And I think Playing Chicky

The 26 year old Chiqui's being played by a heartthrob, though, I believe. A Hemsworth? No. Okay. Shalameh. Yeah, maybe a bit... Young enough?

Younger. A bit older than Shalomayne, I reckon. A Taryn Edgerton. Not Taryn Edgerton. I can't... Yeah, I can't remember. Like, I'd know his name if I... I can't think of a single thing he's been in.

He's got a name got an E-Net. His name has an Eonet. Edgar Allan Poe. His name has an Eonet. His name might have a vowel. Starts with an A. Zach. Ephron.

That's chicky. Zach doesn't start with an A. That disappointed me. I won't watch it. You're not a Zach head? Not really, I don't think. I wonder if Rusty's going to play. Maybe you'll play one of the old Aussies at the bar.

Yeah, get a head brink. Welcome to me bar. Good to see you at the bar. We call it a pub. in Australia we're all from. So that was my audition. That's good. I'm going to be a bar wench.

I think that would be fantastic. Polishing glasses saying something sassy and everyone's like, she's all right. There was a whole bit that I skipped over where he started, he met a mate who was another seaman, merchant seaman, who was docked at the port and the boat. And the boat was loaded up with frozen perishable goods. and Chicky started smuggling them out and delivering them to people who were starting to struggle.

The Tet Offensive meant that getting food was harder. So he was feeding people. Then he like the animals at the zoo needed food. So it was, yeah. So like there's heaps more to this story. Do we believe this guy? And then I started feeding starving animals and I was saving all these kids. And then the lion said, thank you, Chicky.

I was so hungry before. I dressed up as Santa and started handing out presents to all the kids and then their moms were like, you're the best guy I've ever met. And then I heard something behind me and I turned around and it was a grenade and I caught it and I threw it back. I piffed it back and so on and said, wow, you're great. Would you like a contract with a major league baseball team? I piffed it back. I piffed it.

Well, I mean, he said like it, I feel like if it was making it all up when he was handed the grenade launcher, he would have shot it and taken someone out, not said. I was too scared to use it and I laid low. That night I killed 40,000 enemy soldiers. I ended the war. My farts are really gross. All right, mate. I'll check this braggadocious guy.

This fucking guy. So in the end he had beers with four? He had beers with four, yeah. So I'll start the wrap up here. So he jumped on and worked on the SS Limon, which arrived back in Seattle. He said he was, he reckons he was the first one. to disembarked and he literally kissed

the ground when he got back on the soil. Land! Back to the book, according to Chicky, I headed straight downtown for the first department store I could find, which turned out to be a JC Penny. There I bought underwear, socks, a pair of pants and a shirt. I also picked up a pair

of shoes, even a jacket. I asked them to clip off the tags, I walked into the fitting room, put on the new clothes and threw out my old ones. The jeans, the madras shirt that I'd basically been wearing for four months into the garbage can. Chicky.

It's a shame he didn't, he didn't have the foresight to frame them, put him up at the, at the Fiddler's bar. Yeah, that'd be great. Oh yeah. And then he bought a ticket on a plane back to New York City.

Arriving home, according to Chicky, I hailed a taxi and told the driver to head straight to Inwood Manhattan, more specifically to Doc Fiddler's Bar. I was lucky to be coming home when others hadn't. I hope my buddies would come home soon too. As the taxi went it's way into Inwood, I was thinking about whether,

what I had done was as totally reckless and crazy as some had said to me. Then the cab pulled up in front of Doc Fiddlers where it all began. I walked in and the bar was nearly full. Somebody spotted me and yelled out, Colonel, it's chicky. The Colonel yelled out, holy shit, chick, you're alive. Yeah, I'm alive. And so are Tommy and Rick and Kevin and Bobby.

There was pandemonium. I didn't care anymore whether it had been reckless or not. The Colonel, who never drank on duty, poured himself and everyone else a beer and raised it. To Chicky, he said, who brought our boys beer, respect, pride and love, God damn it. Sick. Sadly, Chicky never found two of the men on his list.

Richie Reynolds was killed the day after Chick arrived in Queen On Harbour. Oh, wow. He also didn't find Joey McFadden, but this was for a less tragic reason, although not a great one. Before he could find him, Joey had been sent home after twice contracting malaria. Oh.

Chicky returned Apparently Joe McFadden He got home And he He hung out with his brother that night Told him all about his experiences of war And then never mentioned the war again For the rest of his life

Holy shit Chicky returned home A changed man He didn't see Vietnam the same way He thought of those who had died And the families That had destroyed All because of egos

And miscalculations at the top He found himself broadly agreeing With the Vietnam War protests he went over basically gone I'm going over in a sort of his own protest against the protest and he came back

he's like I'm with you I think they're right and he also said what they didn't realize before was that some of their brothers and sisters and friends were at those protests already and in the end

like return servicemen were joining the protests and in the end he just wanted his friends to return home safely and gladly I can tell you that Tommy Kevin Rick and Bobby all did

and they still catch up for a beer to this day No, they do. There's photos of them from a couple of years ago or catching up having a beer together. That's great. So that's the story of what is normally dubbed the greatest beer run ever.

That is great. What a tale. I'm so amazed that he got out of there safely that all but one of the boys did as well. Like that's statistically pretty impressive. and, you know, an uplifting story. So often our stories are a bit bleak. That was a great story.

Yeah, it's set on the backdrop of a lot of bleakness, but it's sort of like a little positive story amongst a pretty grim backdrop. Is there a little part of you as well that was listening to that story, Dave, and being like, and this was all before Google Maps. Oh, like, honestly. All before smartphones. He had no idea where... And I don't mean to sound like a fucking millennial.

I can read a map. I'm just saying like how much easier it is now to be like, okay, I'm not fully sure where I am. GPS, okay, that's where I am. How do I get out of here?

Oh, that's how I get out of here. You know? But he was extremely fortunate. Chick! What the hell are you doing? Straight off the boat. Straight off the boat.

Found one straight off the boat. Hitching a ride. Yes. Like I abbreviated that story. The way he told it was he jumped in and the driver didn't even look back and they were driving for a while and he was telling us. was telling a story and then the driver was like, turn around and went, wait, what the hell, chick?

Are you kidding? Slams on the road. Yeah. That's wild. Great story, Maddie. Yeah, that was a ripper. A bit of fun. So, yeah, I think, yeah, like I say, great audio book.

I've really enjoyed it, uh, listening to it the last week or so of an evening. Yeah, thanks to everyone that suggested that because that is. Yeah, I'd never heard of it. No. So, yeah, um, one of those great stories. And what an obvious story to turn into a film. Oh, yeah, yeah. You're like, oh, this is...

I was thinking, this has already got to be one, surely. That's great. So it would be interesting to see how much of what they do with that... Do with the story. Cool. Yeah, but it is also one of those ones that you worry that in the film, it'll be so, like, everyone would be like, as if. But it's like, no, sometimes stories are unbelievable.

Yeah, can you tone down this script a bit? It's a bit far-fetched, mate. So that brings us to the part of the show where we like to thank some of our great Patreon supporters. You can support us at patreon.com slash dogo-onpod or dogo-opod.com. And, yeah, there's a bunch of different rewards you get for supporting us. Dave, you got a few examples there. Hey, we have a fantastic Facebook group that you can be a part of.

It's honestly one of the nicest and possibly only 100% nice corner of the internet. Like-minded, do-go-1 people get together and, post some funny stuff, which I really enjoyed being a part of that group, as well as our three bonus episodes every single month. So nearly every week, you get to listen to this, no show we put out, but also a bonus episode, as well as 150 other bonus episodes that are already there. As soon as you sign up on that level, you get access to all of them. That's right. Yeah, so much good stuff. And there's even more than that. And you can, it's all listed if you go to one of those websites. Many things. One of the things you can do,

if you sign up in the Sydney-Shaunberg level or above, you get to be involved in the fact, quote, or question section of the show, which is where you get to give us a fact, a quote, or a question, even a brag or a suggestion. It can be anything you want to be. And I'll read them out for the first time as I read them out on the show, and I do four each week. And this week, we're going to start with Kelly Clark,

who, and you also get to give yourself a title, I should say. And Kelly's title is Deputy Official Secretary to the Official Secretary of Do Go On. Okay. And Kelly has asked a question. The question's always the harder. I've noticed we've been finding lately that questions without notice are harder. So maybe I should pre-read these, but I'll never think that's right. Pre-read just the questions, maybe, yeah.

Kelly's question is, what's the weirdest place you've ever slept? Oh, that's pretty appropriate coming off this one. I think Chicky might say a foxhole on the outer edge of the perimeter. And Kelly's go-to answer is the middle of the racetrack at Randwick Racecourse, after a 10 or something kilometer walk and then hanging out with the Pope. Oh my God. That's a wild sentence.

That is a sentence that leads to questions. I didn't ever know the Pope was into gambling. But yeah, I wonder what was that, the golden slipper. I wonder what event that was. Weirdest place that ever slept. Geez, I don't know if I've slept in that many weird places. Slept on a trampoline on Millennium E. Oh, millennium.

I've slept on a trampoline as well. That's great. That's great. Well, is it a story then? No. Yeah. Was it just like a Tuesday? Yeah.

It was a fucking nerd. No, it was worse. It was a Wednesday. Oh. Humpter. I'm on road. Jesus shit. No one cares.

Um. What about different airports? You know, just on the floor at airports. Yeah, floor of an airport. I did, I had to sleep outside when I was traveling because I, yeah, I'm like a, I don't, it's not that wild, I just slept in a park because I was in Salzburg, I think, in Austria and I got there, I got there early, too early the night before when I wasn't checking until the next day.

Yeah, right. But yeah, that's not that weird. And the Pope wasn't involved. I don't think I can beat your story, Kelly. I can't beat that. One time after a uni play that we put on, it was the final night, you know, have a cast party afterwards in the theatre. and then someone found that in the room next to the theater

was like a room full of mattresses and the mattresses were like used for people that slept on campus but we were like, great, let's just sleep on these mattresses. And so we just put them all out, lied next to each other on this massive bed just like to fill the room. And then this is the sound of someone pissing

and I'll look over and some guys just pissing in his sleep just pulling his hands up just pissing. And then when he woke up he tried to blame it on someone else. And you'd film the whole thing. You said, look, I've got footage. Yeah. Okay.

You can see why you'd pass the blame. Bit of embarrassment there. Yeah. Yeah. But blame it on a cat or something. Yeah, I think it was a cat. That was like, cat. It was like, this to me.

Mate, we saw you pissing. We all saw you, mate. I think this was, oh, I've heard this place is haunted by a pissing ghost. Yeah, pissing ghost. And then they make it look like someone else did it. Yeah. You guys haven't heard that story?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Um, I remember, I, yeah. I mean, I fall asleep on planes. and buses and cars all the time. So you sleep very well?

Like sleep, you know, some people sleep very easily in different places. You're one of those people? Yeah, I think so. I remember one time towards the end of year 12, falling asleep in a classroom. And it was like we were doing our drama performances that night, like a showcase. So we were at school late, rehearsing and stuff, and we'd stopped for a dinner break,

and I fell asleep, curled up on a little box, like a cat, curled up on a box. box just against a wall. And I kind of came to, as my teacher said, shh, just leave her. And I fell asleep. You're like, okay. All right.

Let her have a little kid. It's not that weird though, is it? And again, Pope, not. Can't beat Pope. But, Gellie, you beat us. You beat us. This time. Yeah, that's a win.

God damn it. That's hard to, any, once the peep drops in, hard to beat that. Yeah, hard to beat the peep. Thank you, Kelly. The next one comes from Katie Clay's, aka the lizard queen. I am the lizard queen.

Thank you, doctor. Oh, I'm not a doctor. I can see the music. Katie's got a question as well, which is, what is your favorite way to listen to podcasts? Katie also answers her question, as we always encourage people to do, saying,

I love to pop the wank pods in and do my housework. It makes... What does that mean? I love to pop the wank pods in and do my housework. It makes the chores much funnier. And when my daughter asks what I'm laughing at,

I can reply, the voices in my head. Wank pods. Is that what people call like the... Well, I've just Googled wank pods and the first thing that comes up, company offers employees pods to masturbate in while at work as an employment benefit. I'm guessing that sort of lingo to mean like,

Maybe that's, you know, they're wanky because they're AirPods. Yeah, maybe. Or maybe specifically for wanky. They use your wank pods. Well, you do, the chores. Favorite way to listen to podcasts. I think it's, so, I'm normally in the car or running. Yeah.

Not that I've run for a long time, but. Yeah, I'm either on a walk or in the car. And in the car for a while. Like, I've got a long drive. Because my drives to work are short. So it's just music or the radio. But long drives, I'll chuck a pod on. Yeah, I'm definitely in the car.

or on the wank pods. Whilst cleaning, honestly, I like, pop the wank pods in. Well, I'm cleaning up the kitchen at the end of the night, like chucking it on. Because I often think, is this worth it? It's only going to take 10 minutes.

But then. It takes you four hours. Honestly, so many times I'm like, I'm glad to listen to something because that took 45 minutes. Yeah. I reckon dishes and clean up a kitchen can be very deceptive.

My God. Yeah, you think, oh, how long could it? It's wiped down a couple of benches. I'll be right. But other times you're like, this is going to take me age. and you're done quickly and you're like, huh. So I guess it's all relative, isn't it?

No time to relax in my wank pod. Ah, to the wank pod. Great work, Katie Klaise. I hope you continue to enjoy your wank pods. The next one comes from Daniel Ryan, aka Tiny Balls. Tiny balls. And Daniel's got a fact.

And he writes, this is mainly for Matt. Sorry, hey, you don't have to be sorry for that, Daniel. That's fantastic. That's fine. It's great. Unless it's like really. brutal criticism. Then please.

Continue. Daniel writes, one of your last primates episodes was a Q&A ep from Umbrella Academy, and you said you were going to do one more. So I submitted a fact in response to the potential episode. It never ended up happening. So I want to give you my fact here. Oh, that doesn't sound like something I would do.

I always follow through, don't I? No. What is that? I reckon I feel like I did do that. I forget to put it out. Anyway, so I submitted a fact in response to that potential episode. Here is my fact. That being said, I don't know what you said way back then that prompted this, but here it is.

Okay. In all primates, the size of the male's balls directly relates to the promiscuity, the promiscuity of the woman, of the women. If a man of a species has big balls, it means he has to compete with all the other sexual partners his partners may have. If he has tiny balls, it means his partner will most likely be very loyal. So basically, the bigger the balls,

the bigger the cuck thing. Really? And I have said many times, I have very big balls. So the primates find the smaller balls more attractive? Yeah. Or can they change the size of the balls? They don't need the balls to be that big.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Or maybe the balls, because they're, all the seamans not in there anymore. Oh, God. Sorry, the merchant. Sailors. The mariners.

Mariners. So the balls shrink. Right. I'm not, I should say I'm not a scientist. Really? Daniel says, thank you for everything you do. And if I remember, didn't they say, Your nickname was Big Balls.

Hmm. Yes, Daniel, I've come clean to that. I'm a cuck with big balls. So that means you've got to compete a lot. You're not even Big Balls in the group chat anymore. You're Miranda from Sex of the City. Ah, what are you two? I don't know when I am.

One of the other characters, surely. Yeah. Is that what are we, someone's Mr. Big maybe? Dave's Mr. Big. Dave's Mr. Big. Am I Mr. Big this whole time? Because you obviously don't see your own nickname. Who am I?

I don't know. Whatever it is, I just see them. as your names now. But it's funny. Mr. Dig and your Carrie Bradshaw. Carrie Bradshaw. Whenever I've got my wank pods in and I'm walking the dog, the air pods like announce everything.

So it'll be like, from, and she also has an Irish accent because it felt less jarring. So she goes, from Messenger. Miranda from Sex and the City, Matt, says, because we had to put your name afterwards on because you got too confused. Right. That's right. So we must have to.

change that back when we did the Sex and the City episode. Which I wasn't even on. That's a long time ago. Yeah. Really kind of someone new. Yeah, we do for something. Can I be chicky? Yes.

That's good. I'll be the Colonel. Yes. Dave, you can be... Can I be your spare pair of socks? Socks. Just socks. Soxie.

That's fun. And the last fat quota question this week comes from Lisa Viana, or Lisa Viana, who is the occupational therapist of the pod. Thank you so much for the work you do, Lisa. And as we discovered last time, a very important job. Very important job. Which we already knew, but it was established last time. This is another question, which is, how popular were mad libs when you guys were growing up?

I don't know what that. I don't know if I know what that means. Me either, I don't think. You guys have said you are up for anything in this section, including recipes, brags, compliments, etc. So get ready for a mad lib. Okay. Because this may come out around the four. of July.

Oh. I thought it would be fun to have an American Independence Day themed Madlib. Matt, if you would be so kind as to fill in the story with Dave and Jess's answers. Oh, yeah, cool. Oh, yeah, okay. And then we can all learn a little bit of history together. Wait, hang on. So I've got, oh, oh, wow, okay.

So you have to fill it in. You just tell us whether it's a noun, a verb, whatever, and we give you those. Oh, so you, yeah, you've heard of this. And you build the story from there. This sounds like improv, is it? Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's a give me an occupation. I'm going to need occupation. Wank pod seller.

Wank pod salesman. All right, so I need an adjective. Remind me what an adjective is. It's a describing word, I think. Hot. Hot. Need a plural noun. Jess, obviously, you know what that is.

Cats I need a noun and a number Noun and a number Okay You do the noun, I'll do a number Okay, box One million Need another adjective

Slimy Yeah, good one I need a proper noun What's a proper noun It's like a place or a name Oh yes Yes, yes Okay, loving this

um Chicago uh the windy city that's good stuff that's good stuff uh and a noun number noun and number wait it says noun comma number does that mean I need both

because that's what I did last time yeah it'll all make sense okay you did a number this time you do the noun I'll do the number okay um Dave 69

the first number that came to my head don't ask me why adjective Um shiny Nice Uh Uh verb Uh

Jump Jump jump Jumping whatever Yeah Wow Is it jump or jumping Jumping Jumping

Jumping I think it's jump I think both them are Okay great I bet one is some version of that Don't add us And then a noun number again Okay

You do the noun I don't know Is that noun or no It's got to be both right We'll see when we put it all together, I guess. Disc man. 1975. We need an adjective.

Oh my God, this is so long. Yeah. Another adjective. Tall. Good one. Need a proper noun and a name. Proper noun and a name. I reckon, I don't know.

Anyway. President. Um. Barry. Uh, and just two, uh, two verbs to finish. Um, okay. Sweat. Um, glisten.

Is that a verb? Yeah. Something glistened. Okay. Well, here it is. This is, uh, with thanks to Lisa Viana. Um. You have, this is, for some time around New York Independence Day or whatever,

4th July is that Independence Day? Mm-hmm. Will Smith beat the aliens? The Declaration of Independence is a hot document because it means the cats of the box, one million colonies decided to be slimy from Chicago. In the year, Dave 69, the shiny Congress decided to jump Discman.

1,975 leaders to write the Declaration of Tall. They agreed to have President Barry Jefferson sweat the document and glisten it to Congress after that. The end. I love it. Did that work? Maybe tall felt like it was wrong. That's a go.

You think glisten at the end there worked, Beth? Yeah. I think it worked. That was great. They glistened it to Congress. Yeah. Fantastic work. That's good stuff.

That's my first ever Madlib. That's my first ever Madlib. Aw. I've heard the term Madlib, I think, but I didn't know what it meant. Yeah. Fantastic. All right, well, that brings us to the next part where we like to thank a few of our other great Patreon supporters. Yep, absolutely.

And Jess, you know, I'm going to come up with a game based on the topic. Yeah, I was thinking what they could deliver to their friends. Fantastic. At the Vietnam War or anywhere? anywhere, but preferably at the Vienna Armour. Okay. Well, if I could kick us off, I'd love to thank from Houston, Texas,

in the United States, Kevin Moyer. Kevin Moyer delivered gingerbread bickies. Oh, homemade. Homemade. Home decorated. And Kevin actually tailored each little packet. Each little packet had like five gingerbread people in them. And Kevin decorated them all individual.

to that person, which I think is nice. That's amazing. Yeah, it's really sweet. Beautiful work, Kevin. Really heartwarming and spirit lifting. Yes, yeah. Fantastic. I'd also love to thank from Port Allen in Louisiana.

You know, I'd say it's Jay Cormack. Jay Cormack delivering oysters. Ooh, Aphrodisi. Yes, by the time he gets them there, they may be very off. But still, it would be rude for the people to not shuck them with Jay. Yeah. and then fuck them with Jay. Yeah.

And then get really sick with Jay because these things are huge. But what is more intimate than... Sharing a toilet? Sharing a toilet when you've both got food poisoning. They're going back to back on a can. There's nothing... No, it is.

Yeah, like that. More beautiful and more intimate than that. That, you know, some people say like sex is intimate. Whatever. What the hell? Sex schminks, I say. Very impersonal. But for me, I knew he was the one when we shed ourselves together.

Oh my goodness, when you filled that bathtub at the same time. Phil. Thank you so much, Jay, for your support. Matt just gritting his teeth through that whole thing. Stop it, you fucks. I'd also love to thank from Warrington in New South Wales, Australia, Julie Page. Julie Page. Julie Page.

Julie, what's Julie you like wanting to deliver? Deliver to rocket. as in like a message You know Like at half time in a game You know they delivered a rocket They really put a rocket up them Oh right

So she went over there and she she revved them up Like a half time speech Like a pep talk Halfway during the war Yeah Got you boys You're gonna go out there You've come this far

There's no turning back now If you get through this week We can all shit in a bath tub together Stuff like that She's gonna get back up And give us everything you're going Yeah. Don't think do!

Wow, Julie. That's amazing. Yeah. Great work. Incredible stuff there. Do you want me to thank some people? That would be a lovely gesture. I would love so much to thank from Milton Keynes in Great Britain.

I would love to thank Chris and Sadie. Chris and Sadie. Thank you so much for support in the show. Obviously, they are delivering one million rubber dinghies. Oh, that's all. a lot of dingies. They're heaps, actually. How are they delivering them?

Or you mean, what boats? No boats. Oh, dinghies, not dingers. A million rubber dingers. So if you look, inside each dingy is a dinger. Oh, that's nice. You can fuck in your boat. Sorry.

There's no surname there. Do you think it's Chris Deberg? Could it be? Could it be Charday? The best brows in the biz? I think it could be Sadie the cleaning lady. Oh, that's better. Chris Deberg.

and Sadie the cleaning lady. Oh yes, Shadei didn't have the eye here. Wrong spelling. That's the same spelling for Christaberg, so that hasn't been debunked you. Because it's Chris. This could be Christaburg and Sadie the cleaning lady. Those rubber dinghies are going to come in really handy.

Yeah, what are they going to use them for? It's basically there if you need to evacuate the war real quick. Yeah, right. Okay. Million of them. Imagine that. That's very cool. Ten to a boat.

Yeah, everybody, hop in. Hop in. One lucky couple gets to share. What, the other thing we had in there? Everybody else Avert your eyes for three to five minutes Look away, three to five Jeez, that's a lifetime

It's been a while And I'd also love to thank From Newsted in Queensland Oh, where the brewery is Newstead brewery is Fantastic I'd love to thank a fellow Jess Jess Newman

Do you like when you meet another Jess? Oh, I mean it happens quite often But yes Oh, what do you mean I was a fuck I was at a wedding recently and my good friend Mitch met another Mitch for the first time in his life. No, not possible.

Had never met another Mitch. No. And I was like, it's not that uncommon a name. Mitch Buchanan from Baywatch. He hasn't met Mitch Buchanan. That's the thing though. He's heard of other Mitches. Mitchell Johnson from the Australian cricket team.

Yeah, again, he's heard of Mitches. Did they immediately start arm wrestling because they can only be one? They were arguing a bit. Mark Mitchell from Comedy Company. That's right. And they were talking. I was like you took a three-year-on yelling to some of our Very good, Maddie.

Well done. Like when, yeah, toddler interrupts the parents' conversation. They go, mm-hmm. Sorry about that. What about the suburb of Mitch? That's right. That is a place. Sorry, he's so fucking annoying.

They're terrible at the stage. At least it's somewhat relevant to what we're talking about, which is impressive developmentally. Mitch Lewis, the Hawthorne player. And everyone was joking about how they can only be like one person. of each name at the wedding and I didn't want to tell them my name because there were three other Jesses. Sam Mitchell, the Hawthorne coach. That's right. Did we say what Jess Newman was? Jess Newman is delivering a 60 mile an hour bouncer. Bouncer. Bouncer. There's a short

stuff. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fantastic. So she comes over. 60 miles, which is quite slow for a bouncer. It's 100K an hour. 160 kilometers an hour. Nice. I was getting my, because I tried, I was trying to say one. I wanted to say 100, but I'd already start with the six. Yeah, right. And I thought I could convert it to Miles mid-sentence. But you're right, that would be a slow bouncer.

Shane Warren bouncer. A slow short ball. Straight to the step. That's out of the stadium. I don't understand. Jess is delivering a very fast ball. A bit of sweet chin music. Yeah, a bit of chin music.

Bouncing up that could hit the batsman in the face. Chin music. Yeah. Love that. What I'm talking about? Yes. Well, I mean, great work there, Jess. Great work, Jess.

I think. And finally, to me, I would love to thank from Roland in OK, Oklahoma. My goodness. Can you believe it? It's exciting. Oklahoma weather. Dum-Dum drummers in the brain. I'd love to thank Ashley Addington.

That's a good name. Ashley Addington. I love that. Ashley Addison is delivering. Delivering bad news. Oh no. To bad people. To bad people.

They were about to kill a kid. But the news distracted them and the kid got away. It was kids saving bad news. So sorry I had to say that. That's a wild tactic by Ashley. But it came off. It was bold. It was brave, but it was a success.

Yeah, no one, Ashley gets results. Great work. Good job, Ashley. I'd like to thank from Essendon in Victoria. I'd like to thank Anna. Anna. Great work, Anna. Thanks for supporting this show.

I think Anna is delivering presents. Santa is unwell. It's a bad oysters or whatever. And, but yeah, Anna was like, I will do it. Can I put on the funny little suit? Santa Claus sort of universe or is this more like the Christmas Chronicles style? Yes. Forget you two Scrooges.

Oh, yeah. Or is this The Chronicles of Riddick? Yep. It's all of these. Fantastic work, Anna, delivering presents to the troops and the kids. Your legend. Pretty impressive stuff. Hey, I'd like to think.

And in Vietnam, those two things were basically the same. The troops and the kids. They were very young. Sorry to get political. Hey, I'd like to thank from Sinclair in South Australia. It's Nickybis, all one word in. Nickybis. Nickybis is delivering, what about cans of soft drink to replace in the vending machines?

Oh, an important job. Is Nickybus driving a black thunder? Yeah, I've given out icey cold cancer Coke. Enjoy that for me. Answer this question. Where's the craziest place you've ever been to sleep? Enjoy that for me. Name the secret sound.

It's the sound of chicky to absolutely pack in his stag. And then an engine being turned off. They're always very specific. That sounds like a suicide-inducing fart. Is that right? That is correct. Have a bit of Coke. Have a bit of Coke.

Not the whole can. We've got to share around. Have a sip of the Coke. We're also doing the taste test. Can you tell the difference between this and Pepsi? I absolutely can. I feel like I could. That one's easy.

One time at the Eltham Festival growing up, they had a stall that was near the blind taste test. Yeah. And I reckon I went about 15 times just to get a free bit of Coke and a free bit of Pepsi as a nine-year-old. Oh yeah, that's pretty clever actually. Keep lining up going, all right, I'll have another shot of each. All that cafe.

By the end of the day, I've had about three liters of each. Yeah, you're fucked. Coke's sort of crisper and Pepsi's sort of round, like slightly round or something. Yeah, that makes sense? Lemon kind of. Right. Yeah, I can only explain it in shapes. Yeah, no, that's good.

I reckon I could tell the difference between regular Coke, Diet Coke and Coke no sugar. Wow. Really? Yeah, I reckon I could. Different mouth feels for sure. Can't handle a regular Coke anymore? The diet, I want a soft drink still have that same slightly odd flavor. Yeah, but after a while you get really used to it and then you want it.

You get addicted to that odd flavor. Give me that odd, I say. Give me a bit odd. Get some odd into me. A bit of that odd. I want a bit of strange. Hey, well. That's what I say, anyway.

That's what I say. I go to the bar and say, I need a bit of strange. The good news. All the strange route in my mouth. The good news of both of you is that Nickybus is restocking that machine with whatever you want. It could be Nick Ibis. It's probably Nickybus. Oh, it could be Nick Ibis?

You're right. Could I get Portello? Absolutely. Or Lyft. Oh, yum. Or Deep Spring, Passion Fruit and Orange. What about Pachiona? Kirk Spacito.

I like that. Either of those. Hey, Nick Ibis, Nickybus, you're doing absolutely God's work there. And finally, I would like to thank from Brunswick here in Victoria as well. It's Zoe Milne or Zoe Milne.

Zoe Milne. Zoe Milne. What's Zoe delivering Bob? All right, this is a three-worder. Yep. What do you want, noun? Adjective noun, and I'll see what happens after that.

All right, here we go. Massive. Monkey. heads massive monkey heads like paper mashay ones for dressups oh and for parties they do a pageant

I can do like an army pageant oh that's good yeah that's good where every character's a big monkey that's fun that's fun it's time for the annual monkey competition

yay who's the best monkey Zoe Milne she's designed all of them they all look the same Zoe's kept the best one for itself well fair enough. Make all the others a little bit shit.

Yeah, maybe it's like an army monkey swimsuit competition. So everyone's wearing a swimsuit, but they didn't want to favour anyone. They don't want any bias, so everyone has to cover their face with them. Oh, that's good one. That's good, yeah.

Thank you so much, Zoe, Nicobus, Anna, Ashley, Jess, Chris, Sadie, Julie, Jay and Kevin. Last thing we need to do is welcome a few people into our Triptitch Club. There's three inductees this week. The way this works is if you're signed up on the shoutout level or above for three straight years, you get welcomed in. You get a lifetime pass to the Triptitch Club.

Now, I'm standing at the door. This is the theatre of the mind stuff. I've got my clipboard out. I've got the names on the list. I'm going to read them out. Lift up that velvet rope. Welcome you in. Dave's up on the stage.

As is everyone who's already a member in the club, they're cheering you along. They're chanting. They're excited. Dave's up there hyping them up as we speak. And he's going to welcome you in with a. a bit of weak word play based on your name or your place of residence. And then Jess will give Dave a bit of a boost because it'll probably be low on confidence after sort of failing with his job.

And Dave also, sorry, I zoned out from him. I assume that was negative. Yeah, it always is. Did not hear what he said. Honestly, it doesn't have a nice word to say about anything or anyone. He's a real piece of shit. You're a negative Nancy. Dave normally books a band as well for the after party.

He's good at listening, Dave. You're absolutely not going to believe this. I booked these guys weeks ago And we have actually got Vietnam The band Capital N on Narm Rock band from Brooklyn Been rockin since 2004

A lot of different members Come on and Go on But obviously they are still Rockin and rolling Are they gonna be playing their hits From the concrete's always grey Or on the other side of the street That's my favourite of their albums

I love that album 2004 Yeah of course Geez you do love music I love music Triple J Add Jess, you normally come up with a cocktail. I just looked at the discography of this band. Do you really hope that they play a poc lips,

spelt capital A, then pock, then capital L.A. Like L.A. Los Angeles Apocalypse. See, that's clever. That's the kind of thing you'd like because it's a pretty weak sort of wordplay stuff. Honestly, the weak of the better. You love that shit. Bob, you normally come up with a bit of a cocktail.

You're behind the bar. What are you mixing up this week? Well, this one's in tribute of the topic and being all about sort of, you know, bringing beers to the friends. Just, well, I made a beer cocktail, which is just a shandy really, isn't it? But I can add cordial to it to give it different colours if you want. That's fun. Yeah, I think that's nice. I can put it in a glass.

Red, white and blue. Yes. God bless America. Probably, how will I do white? Not in a healthy. Milk. You can't drink that one. Yeah, okay.

A little bit of milk in there. Oh, I'll just put some yogurt in it. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, perfect. Just chucked some yogh in it. Perfect. Okay, great. And then I'll just...

What about semen? What about them? Yeah, they can order the drinks, I guess. Great. Yeah, I just want to double check that... Everyone's... I don't exclude based on occupation. And I'll put little American flag on toothpicks in it as well.

Instead of umbrellas, I'll put little American flags. That's beautiful. That'd be nice. Awesome. All right, Dave. You ready to welcome in this week's inductees into the club? Are you feeling? supported and loved, Dave?

No, I'm not feeling supported and all love. Can I get some pre-hype going here? Of course you can. From both of you. Dave, you do a great job. I think you... Actually, do you know what, Dave? Do you know what I can do that can actually help you?

Is I can shut him down. Matt? Matt. I don't want to break K-Fabe here. Look at me. Dave. I'm just, I'm doing a bit. I think you do fine work.

That's not as bad as I make as pretty bad. But it's not that bad. He's just unstoppable. Somebody's a bit of a grump today. I think he's got his period. Read some names, you miserable fuck. All right, here we go. First up from your mum's butt in Brighton in Great Britain.

It's Mr. Hagey. Mr. Hagey, doing an eggy with Hagey. Yeah, Eggie with Hagey. Welcome, Mr. Hagey, all the way from your mum's butt. We love you. I'm so good to have you, Mr. Hagey. She's done so much great artwork for us. Was it last year's Christmas car or the year before?

Yes, it was last year before. Year before, yeah. So he loved Mr. Hagey's work. big big fan. I'm looking at one of his stickers on the back of Dave's computer right now. Well, that's one on Jess's computer as well.

Oh shit. Mine says life sucks. I'd also love to thank from Tainmouth. I think it's Tynmouth. Tinmouth in Devon. Tanmouth and Daven. We've lost him.

This could take a while. Tanmouth. How do you do it in Devon accent? Devon. Not sure. Oh, he's no. You, I'm a comboy no or aster. Apples them.

All right. From Tin Mouth in Devon, great Britain. It's Alex Mellon. More like from Windmouth. Yes. Because we're Wind Winmouth. And I bet Alex does gone's the right way. Cream first in Devon.

It's the Devonshoe way. And finally from New Farm in a great spot in Brisbane in Queensland, Australia. It's Murray Somerville. Holy shit, another one of our Christmas Cup. Yeah. How weird is that? It was amazing two of the artists that we love so so much.

And I thought tonight, honestly, I looked out, thought, this could be the first bad night I've had in ages. This could be a bummerville. But then I saw Murray Somerville and everything cut better. Thank you so much, Murray. You do have fantastic artwork. You can also purchase stickers and a jumper of our merch that Murray has designed. That's sick.

It's pretty freaking cool. That's freaking cool. Thank you so much, Murray, Alex and Mr. Heggy. That brings us to the end of the freaking show Anything we need to tell people, Jess, Popperkins? You've just let them know about Snickers. Yeah, we've definitely got some merch available. If you want to go check that out,

you can find the link on our website, do go onpod.com. It's also on our socials as well, and our socials do go on pod. And you can suggest a topic also at our website or a link in the show notes. Hell yeah. Could have said it better myself.

Thank you. Dave. boot this baby home. Hey, we'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, I will say thank you so much for listening. And until then, goodbye. Later. Bye.

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