Do Go On - 352 - The Chowchilla School Bus Kidnapping

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

School bus driver Frank Edward "Ed" Ray has been buried alive. Worse, he's been buried alive with 26 children. Can Ed keep these kids alive? Can the police foil one of the largest mass kidnapping plots in US history before it's too late? Featuring special guest Cass Paige.Get tickets to see us in Sydney in September, and see Dave do Book Cheat live in London August 10:https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Check out our new merch! : https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/  Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/22570738/chowchilla-school-bus-kidnappinghttps://www.mentalfloss.com/article/589819/california-school-bus-kidnappings-1976https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/chowchilla-bus-kidnapping-frederick-woods-rare-photos-from-one-of-the-largest-kidnappings-in-u-s-history/33/https://edition.cnn.com/2022/04/02/us/chowchilla-bus-kidnapping-victim-trauma/index.htmlhttps://www.cityofchowchilla.org/216/Interesting-Facts-About-Chowchilla Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amana, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is David Warnocky, and as always, I'm here with Jess Perkins. Hello, David. Jess, you know, we're joined by someone special this week,

and that someone special is Cass Page from Sans Spence Radio. Hello, Cass. Oh, my God, do you think I'm special? No, we know you're special. Oh, Jess. Did a little zig-and-zag there. Yeah, I, oh, it's, well, yeah, I did. It's a secure stitch.

It's a secure stitch up, I feel secure. Cass, I think that there's a chance that you're coming for the title of Do Go On's fourth Beatle, which historically has been taken by one Nick Mesao Mason. But you've been on a lot of episodes lately. We love having you on. You're a fan or listener favorite. Oh, thanks, guys. I'm not sure of the numbers, but you could be neck and neck with the most episodes ever.

I'll tell you what. I'll start a beef. I'm coming for his spot. I'm going to start driving trains. That's how serious I am. Yes. Okay, take it up one notch. Yeah, I'm going to come for his entire life.

Oh, love that. I reckon surely Cass has been on more episodes now. Yeah, I'm sure someone's doing the maths out there as we speak. Let us know. We don't know. I can think of like five or six. Yeah, you've been on a fair few. And also, I've loved every moment.

I'll tell you that much. I think in our heads, it's even, it's a smaller number because we might record two in a day with you. And so we just think it's like one day, but that's a couple of episodes. That has happened before. But anyway, yes, a delight to have you here. Matt is away. But, you know, but the pod will still play.

Damn right. So our cast usually when it's my report, as it is this week, Jess and Matt play the SaaS twins. They give me a bit of sass. If you could step up to the plate this week and sort of sats me. Are you in need of some sass, Dave? Yes, please. I need a good sasson.

You're about to get some cast sass. I tell you that much. Dave, you're fucked. I don't know I can handle cast sats. Can I handle cast sass? That's the sassiest sass that is, Cass sass. Straight from the sores. Well, Jess, remind Cass and everyone what this show is.

It would be my pleasure. So what this show is, is it's a bit of fun. One of the three of us go away, research a topic, often suggested by a listener. And we come back, we bring that information that we've learned and we educate our best friends. And look, it's fun along the way. We live, we laugh. learn. And we always get onto the topic with a question. Dave, what is your question?

I have a question where you can both definitely get a point for this because it's specific to everyone. A bit of an open-ended question. The question is, how do you used to get to school? How do you used to get to school? How did you used to get to school? How do you used to get to school? Answer it. I personally sometimes, mostly cars sometimes bus. In my older years, sometimes mostly bus.

Fantastic. Jess, were you a bus taker? Do you move into school nearly every day, Cass? Yes, every single day. Actually, do you know what? It was probably more likely a bus home. I can't think of the time I would have bus to school. That's all right.

That's not bad. Oh, I was kicking it sweet. Yeah, you got rid of the backseat. Paying zero attention. Found out in year 12 that I couldn't actually direct anyone from my house to the school. But yeah, having a great time. Brain empty. That is very funny.

And such a late time to learn that you had no idea how to get to school. That's very funny. I couldn't direct anyone. My little brother was like, what are you saying to us now? I'm like, I don't know where to go. Why would I know? They're like, what do you mean? Why would you know?

You do this every time? I'm like, I'm not doing anything. Yeah. I close my eyes for 25 minutes. And when I open them, I'm at school. Yeah, I look up at the trees and all trees look the same and different. I can look at the same tree twice. You know, that's wind.

I'm not responsible for that. That's wind, baby. That's wind. How did you get to school? Yeah, Jess. How do I used to get to school? Primary school, I was driven or in grade 6 I was allowed to ride my bike or walk, but I didn't do that all that often.

Fantastic. Fancy. And in high school, for the first year of high school, I caught a bus. It was like a private bus. so it was just for my school because I lived quite far from school. Then at the end of Year 7, we moved a five-minute walk from my school, so I walked. And I was late every day. I need to do a bit of a rewind here.

A private bus. What are we talking like a jacuzzi in there? Yeah, it was like a tour bus for the Rolling Stones. No, it was just that my school would hire a few buses and they did specific routes. And if you lived on those routes, you could get on the bus. And it was easier, especially because I was a kid who lived in the outer suburbs where trams do not exist. Train was really, I don't even know where the closest train station was. So my only option would have been public buses and it would have taken hours to get to school.

So the private bus was just straight to school. But then after that, I was like, don't need you. I'll walk. Nice. I reckon if I had lived closer to school, I knew a girl who lived two minutes from school. I think she practically lived across the street. Latest. Every time.

Latest person. I reckon that's how it is because she'd be like, well, I'm five minutes away. I don't need to rush. You never need to account for traffic. You just account you for your own footsteps. And then that's hard. I feel like I'd always be in my head.

I'm like five minutes away. And I'm like, well, if I'm running glad I could run. Exactly. And I never would. No, God no. And also I had a friend, her name was Elise, and we got mistaken for each other constantly. People thought we were the same person.

People thought we were twins. Could not tell us apart. look quite different, that they could not tell us apart. So in year 11 and year 12, we're in the same homeroom and she used to just change seats or not even change seats and just say here for both of us. And I would rock up eventually. Oh, that's fun. It was the best. That's good. Yeah. Yeah, someone on the inside looking out for you. She'd be like here and they'd just sort of glance up and look at her and be like, yeah, that's Jess. This is, um, this is awkward because I feel like I've been podcasting with Elise for seven years. I didn't realize that this is Jet. Unfortunately, you've got

Jess. Elise is busy. Oh my God. This is really sad. This is very busy. To answer my own question, I took the bus. And the worst thing that ever happened was it broke down on the first day of year seven, which I thought was a really ominous sign for the rest of the school. That's stressful.

That happens year 10, 11, 12. You're like, whatever. Year 7, you're like, I'm going to get detention for a year. Oh, no. You're like, I've seen every high school movie. This is going to mean something. So that's the worst thing that ever happened on the bus, but that is nothing compared to the story that I'm going to tell.

you about today. This topic, which I will reveal the title in just a minute, but has been suggested by a few people, including Aaron Sanderson from Doncaster, England, Jessica Hampton from Vista in California, John Dinias from Denham Springs in Louisiana. And a big, big shout out to Peter C. Kianzla from Wilmington, North Carolina, who wrote down such a compelling pitch. You see, Cass, people can suggest these topics to us. And then we have a little pitch as to why we should do. It. Sometimes we read those intently and I went through and found four great topics, all with good pitches. His was so good that when I shared it with the Patreon supporters to vote on, out of four topics, it got about 60% of the vote. I'll redo the pitch at the end to show you

what I'm talking about. It's so good. I might even use it as the episode description to suck in other people. Oh, so good. Okay. But it was so good. But our story takes place in Chow Chila, California. Chow Chow Chow town. Yeah, chow chow, which is such a great name. That sounds like my ideal life. I just want to chow and chill. I want to be a chow chiller. I want to recline and someone feeds me chocolate biscuits.

I want to be a friendly Italian man who calls all my friends chillas. Hey, chow chiller. We'll go be nice. Unfortunately, I'm not a friendly Italian man. I am a gruff Australian woman. Gruff. Oh, God, I am just unpleasant. You are rude.

She's so rude, they say. Oh, goodness gracious. Get a lease back on the line. Where's a lease? We miss a lease. Oh, she's a Chow Chow Chil, it's in California. It's found about 150 miles southeast of San Francisco. These days, the population is about 20,000.

But back in the 1970s where this takes place, it was only 5,000. It's quite small. They have an official city website and they have an interesting, facts about Chow Chow Chila section. Would you like me to regale you with some of their interesting facts? I'm going to guess maybe they're not that interesting. Well, there's a bit of a theme, see if you can see it. There we go. These are all direct quotes. The famed Chowchilla Arch, built in 1913, was built to attract attention to the land colonizing efforts taking place, but quickly became a trademark beacon to many travelers. It burned down. No one's sure how.

Fire, probably. That's one interesting fact. Here's a second one. Hotel Chowchilla, a landmark that established Chow Chow Chila as the location of one of the finest hotels in the state suffered through several fires in its existence. Okay, that's number two. All right. Finally, fact number three, the first custom grain elevator in California was built in Chow Chila in 1916 by Cully and Browning Elevator Company. It was reported that the elevator met its demise through fire. Okay.

That's three out of three. Three out of three on the official website. How are all of them so, they're so casual and it's, yeah, we don't really sure what happened. We think it was, like, sure you get to fact number three and you just confidently say fire. But the first one would be like, yeah, we burnt down, we don't really, like, no one checked why. Yeah, there was another fire and there was an elevator that, yeah, I mean, someone's saying something about a fire, but, yeah, I just, you know, how can you really tell? How can you really tell why there's a fire? It's really no one's business.

So there's lots of fires down there, but apart from that, it's a sleepy little town. And in 1976, this sleepy town made national and international news, and not for a good reason or for a fire. Oh, that's my first shock of the day. Yeah, though I started to branch out. Flood? The day this happened, that wasn't a flood. Thursday, July 15, 1976, the last day of summer school. Did you guys ever go to summer school where you go to school during the school?

cool holidays and do activities. Absolutely not. My parents loved me. No. Why would I do that? Well, some kids in 1976 did. Frank Edward Ray, known as Ed. On this day, July 15,

1976, is driving 26 students from Derryland Elementary School back from a summer class trip to the Chowchilla Fairground Swimming Pool. On board is a mixture of kids age from about 5 to 14. Mm-hmm. Standard.

for children. Okay. Yeah, pretty good. That checks out. So far. Yeah, I'm on board. Kids love starting fires. We know that.

Ed, the driver, is a 55-year-old farmer, but also part-time bus driver, which he's been doing for 23 years. Okay, so he's pretty good at driving a bus. Pretty good. Part-time, so really he's been doing it for what, 11.5 years. Yeah, that's right.

Still a pretty long time. That's still a pretty long time to drive a bus. I would, I don't usually drive for more than a couple of hours at a time, so fair enough. Not a tall man. Ed is 5'7 and described as being stocky. Dave, you're about 5'7. I'm a stocky boy. But you're saying not a tall man.

It's not a short man either. That's not a short man. He'd be tall to me. I like how now we've got a stocky and gruff. Yeah. We've got a stocky. We've got a gruff. That's our breakfast radio show name.

Welcome back to stocky and gruff. Breakfast. He's stocky, she's Graff. All right, Graff, what's got your knickers in a twist this morning? Oh, well, I just count a veggiebite, all my kids eat all my vegime. Graff's got a lot of kids and she hates him. So he's stocky, his average height, let's say. The kids love Ed, and his bus is often a bit rowdy, but all in good fun,

especially on the way back from the pool. Some of the kids, they're singing songs. It's been a fun day out. Everyone's having a good time. Right. Oh, yeah, you've gotten wet, then dry. It does things to the mind. Yeah, that's right.

It puts you in silly mode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know how after a swimmer, you're just so hungry? Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, everything feels so calm and then you get out, you're like, I could eat three horses. Yeah, I'm starving, I'm a bit tired, and I'm dry now.

But remember earlier when I was wet? Oh my God. Right. Life is so confusing. Why do I need food and why was I wet? Do you know something cooked? Apparently, you know how we can feel when something's wet? Apparently, we can't actually feel when it's wet.

Apparently, our fingers and body can only tell temperature. We don't actually have a wet dry sense. It's only temperature sense that we can feel. And that's why it's so hard to tell if your clothes are cold or wet, because your body's like, oh, that's a tricky. It's somewhere on the line. It gets so confused. It's like looking at it being like,

it's like looking at words and being like, that's a word, but I don't know if I speak the language. Have you ever looked at a word and you're like, I don't know what that word is. And it turns out it's a word you've used before. And you just read it wrong the first time. Oh, yes. Yeah.

Wow. Spontaneous. Oh my God, spontaneous. Jesus. Yeah. So when you're in water, your body's like, I know this one, wet. And in the background, it's like, yes, different temperatures,

just call it wet. That's so fascinating. Because I'm thinking about, like, if you were touching like a tree that was a bit moist or a bit damp, you know, in like a rainforest, you'd be like, is this, is it wet or is it cold? Because I think the other things as well, like we know the way that liquid sort of spreads or will move around us. So if you poke something and it encompasses you,

you're like, well, I'm not just cold because that's not the way cold works. You know, you can't dip your finger into cold. So your body's like, wet, clocked it. And if you touched a tree, you'd be like, ha, bark soft, bark wet, done, next tree. Whoa. That's fascinating. Yeah.

So no wonder we all go silly after water. Yeah. That's right. We have no idea what's happening to us in a shower. Oh, God. I don't know, the best of ties. What am I doing in here? How if I'm trapped?

I'm in a glass box and it's cold all wet. I don't know. All right, so the kids, they're wet, they're dry, they're having fun. Ed's driving them. The bus drives down the narrow Avenue 21. When up ahead, Ed spots a white 1971 Dodge panel van blocking the road and it's got its door open. What year is this again?

This is 1976. Okay, so relatively new car. All right. Yeah, and first Ed thinks about just going around, but then he wonders, oh, what if they need help? Before he can act on either of those thoughts, a man wearing overalls and a stocking over his head jumps in front of the bus.

And if that wasn't fallen enough, the man is brandishing a revolver. Oh, not. This is some children coming back from the pool. What the hell? Did he mean to jump out at a different bus? Yeah, this is embarrassing. Keep driving.

Oh, sorry. Oh, thank God I wearing this stocking. Could you imagine I would not be able to show my face in town? I thought this was the president's bus. This was really embarrassing. Confidently, the man holding the gun asks Ed, would you open the door, please? And of course, the bus driver complies.

Of course? Is this an of course moment? I think I would hesitate a little on that one. Yeah, I'd be like, hmm, give me two sex to think about this. Yeah. I'm trying. I can't remember which lever it is to open the door. I'm new.

It's my first day. Hang on. I've just got to push this lever on the floor with my right foot. Hang on. Oh, dear. It starts like jolting forward. Is this working? Is the door open on your end?

It looks open from my end. You got to pull. You got a pull. Don't push. Oh, God. It says push. I can't hear you. Do you want to take the stocking off?

I can't. I'm sorry. What was your name again? Then two more men in matching outfits and matching stockings, obscuring their features appear, one of whom is holding a rifle. He points it at Ed, the bus driver and everyone is told to go to the back of the bus. The third man without a weapon starts driving the bus, and the original man with a revolver gets out, starts driving the van that was blocking the road.

Hmm. This is so little is, like obviously a lot's happening, but it seems very nothing at the moment, which is I think, the most suspicious thing. Yeah, it's unnerving. Yeah, it is unnerving. Also, if they're all wearing a stocking, if they're all wearing a stocking over their head, then where's the fourth guy? Because there's one leg of panty hose somewhere unaccounted for. It's like that trick where you like release pigs and label them like one, two and four. Never spends their time looking for three. Maybe they're throwing us off. That's good. That's really good case. I must admit I hadn't

thought about that. Of course you hadn't. You hadn't thought about panty hose. I know, the science of the pantyhoes. This is why we need women in STEM. So they drive in convoy for about one mile until they come to a thicket of bamboo where the bus, the school bus is parked, so it's hard to see. A thicket of bamboo?

This whole time the kids are silent. No one is yelling or screaming out. Everyone's like, what the hell's happening? Yeah, I probably would be on the kids' wavelength. I'm not going to scream then. Also parked at this location is another van. This one is green. The stunned children are herded from the bus into the backs of the vans.

They're forced to jump from the bus to the van so that they won't leave behind any footprints. 12 being put in the white van. And Ed, the driver and 14 kids are made to go into the green van. I don't like how much they've thought about this. Both van's windows are blacked out and the walls and behind the driver's seat are lined with wood, essentially making it into a large soundproof box.

no one can see in or out and there's also no ventilation on board so it's super hot and cramped. Oh God and they could feel like they're in a different pool now. Yeah, they're like... Temperature's different or ruffled. Am I wet? Am I wet? Am I just hot? Is it sweat wet or is it, you know?

Have I paid myself? Oh my God, you just could. I would have. I think there would be some situations in life where maybe you won't think of it consciously but maybe on looking back, you're like, if I had pissed myself, I think it would have been fine. I think this is one of them. Is it a situation when you look back and you wish you'd done it

because you're like, when else am I going to get away with it? I mean, look, I don't know how the rest of their day is going to go. Maybe that would be annoying later down the track. Yeah, good point. But this is definitely a situation in which, forgivable. Yeah. If you had told me every single person on the bus, including the drivers, had a piss, I'd be like, yeah.

Fair enough. Especially if you left the pool and you're like, I probably could go to the toilet before we leave, but it's like I'm not desperate. I'll wait until we get home. And now you're in this situation, you're like, I'm going to let a rip. Yeah.

I should have gone at the pool. Yeah. They do say that you're not meant to drive or get in the car if you need to pee because if there is a collision and you sort of get inertia against your seatbelt and the seatbelt stops you, it corrupts your bladder. Oh, shit.

Yeah. I mean, maybe this is another reason to pee before you leave. What if you get kidnapped and then you have to make the decision on whether or not to piss in a van. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Although you could always use it as self-defense. Like if someone's trying to do something and you do let it rip.

I personally... Yeah. I can't imagine grabbing someone like who didn't want to get got. But I do know in any situation, even if the person did want to get got, I would stop grabbing if they pissed on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd at least take a moment. You'd have to, like, you know, the gamble would be that the person who's trying to get you

likes being pissed on. But I think statistically you'd probably be safe to just start pissing. Yeah. And they'd probably let you go. Yeah, it's a numbers game. It's a numbers game and it's a, like, you know, it's a gamble, as we say. But, you know, I reckon it would pay off. Yeah, roll the dice.

If you're in that situation, roll them. Roll them bones. So you said it yourself there, Cass, they have been kidnapped. This story is the Chow Chow Chow Chil. a school bus kidnapping. That's what the story is called. Oh, this is not chiller, if you know what it mean. Oh, no. Almost immediately, when the kids don't arrive home on time as predicted, parents begin to worry. Something doesn't feel right because Ed is always on time.

So even a few minutes off is a bit of a worry. Wow. Ed could control traffic. Yeah, Ed's amazing. It's a very small town. It's a very small town. I reckon if you saw a school bus, like, if it was a small enough town and I saw a bus, I mean, you meant to let the bus pass anyway, but you were like, oh, yeah. I'll let the kids get home faster. It's important.

Yeah. I feel like it's the kind of town that everyone's waving at Ed. Hey, Ed. Hi, Ed. Ed's a hero. I love Ed. I mean, should have hesitated more

on letting those guys with guns onto the bus, but, you know, I wasn't there. I don't know how I were reacted. I guess I can't take the show. He's a bus driver, Cass. It's his job to let people on and off the bus. Oh, my God, you reckon for him. This isn't technically a stop.

Yeah, he should have been, he should have pulled rank. I am not allowed to stop this bus in a non-designated bus. bus stopping zone. Do you reckon they said thank you when they got off the bus? Oh man. All the kids, thanks Ed, thanks Ed.

The kidnapper. Thanks, Ed. As the minutes pile up, the parents jump into action and start driving around looking for the kids. They drive through the woods. They get a spotlight out. The local sheriff takes the report seriously

and within two and a half hours there's a plane in the sky looking for the kids. Wow. Oh my God. That's great. Why didn't anybody text to a kid? Hey, you up? Where are you? Question mark.

Yeah. Who is this? Mum. Okay. Oh, hey, mum, loll. Just kidding, mum. That's just a bit of a funny joke, mum. Anyway, I have been kidnapped.

I've been kidnapped. Probably not on time for emojis, but I appreciate your emojis, mom. The school bus is found in the bamboo a few hours later, but there's obviously no sign of the kids or any clue. clues of where they are. Yeah, no footprints. No footprints. Everyone's, they just find an empty bus. The police and parents now know something has happened to them, but they don't know what it is. The parents gathered together to hold a public vigil waiting for news, just trying to stay as positive as they can. Meanwhile, Ed and the kids in the

back of the hot and dark vans are driven around for 11 hours. What? 11. 11 hours. People are definitely in prison themselves. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we've passed that threshold. Are they passing around icy cold cans of coke? Yes, they are in the back of a triple M black thunder. They have no idea where they are, but eventually they come to a stop 100 miles away at a rock quarry in Livermore. By this time, it's 3.30 a.m.

Oh, my God, you'd get so car sick in the back of a kidnap car. Oh, my God. And it's completely dark. There's no fresh air. No ventilation? Yeah, I'd be vomiting everywhere and pissing myself. Yeah, it would just be hop.

bucket of liquid. It would be soupy. Yes. Just when I thought the kids' day couldn't get any worse. The van doors swing open and ed the bus driver is ordered out first and told to remove his pants and his boots and go down a ladder that goes into a hole into the ground. What the fuck is going on? I know. It's pretty mysterious guys. Don't get on a ladder with bare feet. I know. That's not safe ladder practice. No, oh-h-and-s guys. Come on.

The men demand the names of the kids, along with their addresses, phone numbers, and a small article of clothing like a piece of shirt or a baseball cap. Oh, for ransom purposes? Yeah, probably for a bit of ransom, we're thinking. One by one, the children are made to climb down the ladder into what turns out to be a trailer from the back of a truck, which has been placed in a 12-foot hole and then covered under several feet of dirt. So it's like a little bunker in the ground. shit. That is terrifying. Also, there's not enough air in there. Not enough air in there. And I'm,

in a way, a little bit of admiration for the admin ability of these kidnappers. I'm going to get everyone's name and addresses, going to pop them down in the spreadsheet. I'm going to need an article of clothing from each of you. I'm going to go find your parents and I'm going to blackmail them. This is so much planning. It's like, could you imagine, you know, in the week leading up to it all and be like, come on, people. We've got to get everything sorted. Yeah. Having weekly meetings. Okay.

Now, Dave, how's it coming with the underground bunker? Pretty good. We just hit six feet. Obviously, there's a bit of a rock slab through there, but I've hired a jackhammer and I reckon I'll be through that rock within the day. Wonderful. And what name did you put the jackhammer under? Can we just get that for just like admin purposes?

Well, obviously I put under my name. All right. And which state was this in? Was this close by or? Yeah, yeah, it's just around the corner. All right. All right. Tim's tools.

Okay. So can we get someone on contingency for this one? He asked what it was for? And what did you say? He asked what it was for, and I told him it was for a big 12-foot bunker. Okay, okay, okay. So I was kidnapping some children. Oh, my God.

Would you like to join in? He said, no, that's disgusting. And I said, just kidding. So I think I got away with it. Okay. Dave, we did have a meeting with you last week. I would love if we could just reconnect on that one. Just another one-on-one.

Keep you on track. We obviously want you to have growth within the this team, but we do have to be a team. You know? Check-ins with the team of kidnappers. Obviously, we've got a three-strike policy. You're on your second strike. That's okay.

We all strike out sometimes, you know? But we do need team players. Sorry, Cass, I think I can actually contribute something that might actually make up for Dave's fuck-ups if that would help at all. I would love that. It's time for an open space meeting. Yes, go, Jess. Can I just say that that is a very strong description of what I did?

It wasn't a fuck-up. Sorry, sorry, Dave. Dave's cock up or something. I don't know. Is that better? Yeah, slightly less offensive. Thank you. Okay.

Sorry about that. Anyway. I don't care if we're dealing in crime. It doesn't cost anything to be polite, all right? That's true. That's true. The only crime I'm seeing here is rudeness, and I think it's really antithical to what we're trying to do here.

So now I'm the problem, even though Dave's just identified us. No, I don't think anyone is a problem. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I was joking. I was joking. I was joking anyway.

It's funny. All right. All right. Anyway, I've, well, now I feel less enthused to tell you what I've done. But a neighbour around the corner was selling a secondhand pool table and I got a really good deal on it. I thought we could put it in the bunker. That's all. That's all trying to do something nice. Do you know?

Okay. No. Okay. Let's give a little round of a pause for everyone today. Everyone's contributing. Everyone's contributing. Yeah, there we go. There we go.

There we go. Now, I personally, I love the pool table idea. Thank you so much. And Dave, I'm so sorry. I'm glad we're six feet deep in this. You know, that's six more feet than we had last week. So I think that's great. I think that's great. Now we've got entertainment. The kids can be entertained. You know, kid-napping doesn't have to be a nightmare. You know, we're just trying to get paid here. Let's not get caught up in the culture of it, you know? Yeah.

I can only imagine that that is exactly how we're doing it. Yeah. Yeah, I reckon so. We can't prove that's not how it happened. We can't. And I'm so sad that we didn't get team meeting audio recordings of what happened in deciding what happened with the last leg of the panty hose as well.

Yeah, what happened. Now, after the last student enters, remember, they've all gone down the ladder. The kidnappers remove the ladder and a steel plate is placed over the opening, sealing the children and their bus driver inside. I'm concerned about oxygen. Yeah.

The plate is also weighed down with a heavy 100 pound tractor batteries. And this is covered again with plywood and dirt. So they've really sealed it up. Holy shit. That's not good. This seems like a problem that I'm shocked that they overlooked, to be honest, with all the immaculate planning.

Inside the hole, the children find mattresses and containers filled with water for them to drink. They also find boxes of cereal, peanut butter and loaves of bread. They're given a flashlight for light, a torch, but apart from that, it's pitch black in there. Also, I mean, you've given them loaves of bread and some peanut butter. You're giving them a knife? How are you going to put that on there?

No knife. Oh, that's fucked. No knives, because I thought it could be a weapon, but they gave them a peanut butter-filled gun, and they thought that was fine. Oh, that would make my morning so much more fun. Pugh! Jess is making breakfast.

I feel like... Oh, no, crunchy. A medium impact gun, where the peanut butter is already a little. little bit soft. I feel like that would disperse beautifully over a hot toast. Yeah. I think you're right. Big fan of that. Like Marge Simpson's makeup gone. Yeah. That's exactly what I was thinking. I was also thinking I think it could be really fun as a little treat for my dog. Because he loves it when I have like a water squirder and I squirt him in the face and he's like, ha ha ha ha ha. Imagine if it was peanut butter.

He'd be so happy. How fun would it be to play that with your dog and it's like a one for you, one for me system? Like he'd also get to see you having a beautiful. beautiful time. That would be a beautiful bonding moment for us, I think. Yeah. And I also like they've just left out containers of water like, like dog bowls. That's what I'm imagining. I'm imagining empty ice cream tubs. Just full, just lap it up. But it's probably more like, like big bottles or something. Hey. Yeah, I think it's like big, um, sort of, uh, like, like little three litre little milk, milk jug type things. Yeah, it's probably okay. The toilets are pretty questionable, they're made out of boxes in the wheel wells of the tractor trailer.

So it's hardly sanitary. Oh. You don't have much air. Don't yuck it up. Well, Ed begins to worry that underground they'll suffocate, but two 12 feet pipes to the surface provide some ventilation. Okay. All right, so they did think of everything.

Which is a relief, but he can see this is Ed, in some sections, the roof of the truck is buckling under the weight of the dirt. And he wonders how long it will hold out. Oh my God. Ed is just a part-time bus driver slash farmer and he's just trying to take these kids home from the pool. Now he's like responsible for all of them in this awful situation and he's probably trying to keep them calm because he sounds lovely but also this is awful.

Oh my God. Yeah, absolutely right. He is just trying to stay positive but it is difficult. Back in town, police are at a complete loss. They have no idea where the kids are. they quickly realize though that they are probably dealing with the largest kidnapping in US history, which it is. Oh my God. Holy shit.

Assigned to the case is Madeira County Sheriff Ed Bates, who sounds like a bad ass. Looking into him, he lied about his age to sign up from the Marines when World War II started. He was only 16, but he said he was older. And Fox recalls a story about how the Hells Angels were rumoured to be coming to town one day when he was sheriff. So Sheriff Bates parked his car across the only bridge in town and sat on the bonnet with a shotgun in his hand and just waited. Oh my God. Needless to say, the Hells Angels never made it to their town.

So he scared him off. But even Bates is at a loss as to what he's dealing with because they just have no idea where these kids are. I suppose if you'd done war at 16, you'd be like, oh, like what, five guys on bikes? Oh, no, I'm so scared. Oh no. You've got bikes and big jackets? I was born in a big jacket. They'd run out of blankets at the hospital.

The only jacket I respect is a full metal one. The story quickly spreads, though, the fact that it's probably a kidnapping, the largest in the US history that two dozen kids are missing, and a media storm engulfs the small town. Again, according to Vox, which have a great piece on this written by, Caleb Horton that I'll link to. It's very, very long, but very in depth. Great piece.

This is from the article. Caleb writes, months later, people could still remember the New York reporter who got off a plane in Los Angeles and took a cab all the way to Chowchilla. It was a seven-hour drive that cost between $400 and $1,000 depending on who you heard it from. Oh my God, and that's the old-time money. The article adds the median annual salary income there is just over $6,800 a year. So that puts into perspective. how much a reporter is willing to spend to get to this town because it is such an intriguing story.

Wow. And many theories abounded where the hell the kids are. Could it be terrorism, some people said. Also, years earlier, the Zodiac Killer in San Francisco, which is not that far away, remember, had once threatened to kill a busload of school children. We know that from a previous episode that he was never caught, and some press reminded the cops of this fact.

And the police said they refused to rule. anything out. So, you know, they're like, oh, it could be. Shit. God. An out-of-town news reporter starts to point the finger at Ed, the bus driver, asking, could he be involved in this bizarre crime? Of course it was an out-of-town. They don't know Ed. I don't want it to be Ed. This severely angus's family who are equally worried about his safety and know that Ed couldn't possibly be responsible. He would never. He would never, they say. He would never. There are many false leads, people calling into both the police and media to report, suspicious people they come across

and useless stuff like a shoe found on the side of the road could that be suspicious? Each false lead making it harder to work out what is actually going on. It would just rattle. If that town is only 5,000 people, I feel like you couldn't know everyone well but you might actually have seen everyone before

and you'd just be terrified. You'd want to help in any way you could. Yeah. Yeah. The kidnappers had actually scattered items of clothing on nearby roads in an attempt to confuse anyone on their trail. The kidnapping had obviously been planned meticulously, but

what was the motive? Money, of course. Always. The kidnappers had planned to ask for $5 million for the safe release of the children. Their ransom note had been written and it said put $2.5 million in each of the suitcases total $5 million. This is all

in bullet points. Use old bills. Have ready at the Oakland police station. Further instruction pending until 10.05 p.m. Sunday. So they would just like get it ready? Yes, get the money ready. And then they sign off, but this is misspelled. We are B-L-Zab, but they've misspelled it. Oh, well, maybe they're trying to put their own spin on it. Oh, yes, maybe. How did they spell it? They spelled it B-E-L-Zerbub, B-e-L-Zabab. Okay. Okay. Why would you want the money ready at a police station? Why would you

go pick it up at a police station? I think the further instructions were going to say where, where to put the money. But unfortunately, Unfortunately, Jess, unfortunately, they hit a small snag when they weren't actually able to get through to the police who were also fielding calls from the parents and media all night long. It turns out the local phone system is completely jammed. So the kidnappers cannot get through. Oh, my God. That's pretty funny. All their meticulous planning.

Them sitting there trying to call, not getting through. They're like, what the fuck is got? What's going on that's so important that they can't answer the phone? I mean, come on, this is ridiculous. I mean, what if there was a crime that I needed to report? Yeah. What if I was in danger? What if I'd put some children in a bunker?

What if I needed $5 million? What about that? Can't get through? Fuck, get out. Tax pay of money. And this is where our tax money is going. Yeah, good. Fantastic.

I can't wait to see what the... I'm not voting. I'm not voting. I'm done. It's all corrupt. They're a bunch of crooks. I might write to the paper. I'll use a different name.

I don't care. It doesn't matter who I am at. the idea that's important. And the fact that I can't get through right now is an obstruction of justice. I'll say it. Oh, what? Do you think just because I've made some mistakes in my life,

I don't deserve access to the police? I don't deserve to be protected. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. I just want my $5 million. They're literally children here. There are literally children here. Literally think of the children.

Yeah, think of the children that I've put in danger. So they can't get through. So the kidnappers, all three of them, decide to have a sleep and try again in the morning. That's good. They've had a big day. They've had a big day. Yes, it's like 4am, 5am by this time.

They've been up all day. Get a feed and I'd hit the hay. So this is day one still. Day one, yes. So they've dropped them off in the bunker at 3.30 in the morning. Go on to their hideout, got the phone out, got the message ready to dictate it and then they cannot get through. Blower's blown up.

Someone's blown up the blower. Can't get through. Meanwhile, by this time the FBI have been called in and up to 50 agents appear on the scene. So people are taking this. extremely seriously. But even they had no idea what the heck's going on. So there's just all sorts of law officials going, I don't know. Nothing happens as quickly anymore, right? No way. And they're also thinking, we think it's a kidnapping, but by this time we've usually heard from

the kidnappers. It's kind of weird. We don't know what's going on. Why aren't they calling us? Everyone else is. Sort of your phone system. Okay. They're trying. They're trying, okay? I feel like things do happen this quickly if kids are involved. Yeah. Yeah, they do, don't they? Authority. don't fuck around when it comes to kids. Thank goodness for that. We've passed it, haven't we? No one's helping her.

Yeah. If we go missing, they're going to be like, how long's it been? Nah, sorry, not long enough. Well, under a month, whatever. Have you tried calling her? No, no, no. Did she have her phone with her?

Did you call? You can't get through? Is the phone blowing up? Oh, so she didn't answer you? Maybe she's busy. Maybe she's mad at you. What'd you do? Yeah, did you do something?

Yeah. But if I was 11. Maybe out there. Sorry, did I mention my wife is 11? Oh, okay. Oh my God. Sorry, sir. So you're interested now, okay?

And you're arresting me. As soon as you say my wife is 11, it's just like a helicopter coming over. We'll find her. Give us 10 minutes. Meanwhile, in the truck buried underground, according to CBS, after being in the hole for almost 12 hours, conditions start to deteriorate, which is not surprising. I would feel so bad for needing.

to piss in the bunker. I would at this pace being like, I should have done it in the van. Yeah, I should have just pissed in the van. I should have gone in the van. We're only in the van for 11 hours. Now we've been in here longer. We should have pissed in the van. I'd be the one, I'd have to go,

but I'd make someone stand in front of me. And then I'd be yelling, don't look at me. Somebody sing something. I want you to hear it. The roof starts to cave in a bit under the way to the dirt. Oh, God.

A small amount of food that they were given is running out. That's so many kids. They're growing boys and girls. How many kids does it get? About two dozen. Oh, and they've been given a couple of loaves of bread. Yeah, honestly, I think I read in a couple of places it was enough for sort of one meal type thing, one, you know, between them.

I mean, they would have thought, be like, well, we've kidnapped a bunch of kids. This will be pretty quick. Yeah, they'll take our call immediately and then that's it. They would have had a thing, like their little meeting room being like, Okay, snacks for the kids? Like, give them a meal. Give them a meal. If it's a full meal, they shouldn't need more than one.

It's going to be, you know, it's going to be, what, a 20-hour operation. We'll be fine. It's going to look suss if they go to the supermarket and get, like, a lot of bread and a lot of cereal and, like, kid snacks, you know? Just yelling at the cashier, I need two dozen meals for small children and one bus driver, please. Is this enough? Will this be enough?

Just go in and get those little six packs of the little cereals. Yeah. I just want them to feel like it's a little bus. a holiday. Oh, they're going to fight over the fact that there's two packets of cocoa pops in there. Oh, no. Some kids are going to know what a frosty flake is and go for that. And then every other kid's going to be bombed.

You get the other one with this like one sustain. Oh, poor kid. Poor kid's getting that. Yeah. I mean, they're going to be the wellest. Yeah. No, but probably the most fiber. So they're probably going to have to be visiting the bunker toilet sooner.

Yeah. No one's up. You want that. You want something to clog you right up. Do you reckon you'd designate one of the wheels for twos? Oh, great call, maybe. Or just fair game. Because you don't, like, I, spreading the smell out, in theory, good,

but maybe blocking off a quadrant, better. Well, speaking of smells, it's hot in there, it smells terrible. Frankly, the conditions are awful. Oh, no. Ed tries to say positive still, but it's pretty hard. Remember, some of the kids are only five years old, so they're pretty confused, pretty upset. They've never been in a bunker before.

They don't even know what a bunker is. No one told him. And Ed tries to keep morale up, but he has no idea what the kidnappers have planned. And as the hours go by, he starts to worry that they might never get out. He's like, what is going on? Oh, my God.

It's so awful. Are these just psychopaths that are just little levers here? Which is the same thing going through the mind of 14-year-old Michael Marshall. He's one of the oldest kids, and he's decided that he's not going to die without at least trying to get out. Michael. Oh. Michael Marshall starts stacking mattresses on top of each other to build a platform to reach the hatch that they entered through. Because it's quite high up.

Remember, they came down through a ladder. The ladder's not there. He's building a little platform. At first, Ed, the bus driver, is hesitant because he's worried that a gunman might be waiting on the other side and shoot whoever pokes their head out. Fair. But with this thought in mind, eventually starts helping 14-year-old Marshall and another kid, 10-year-old Robert Gonzalez, and they start stacking the mattresses higher and higher.

They make it to the roof, but realize that there's something heavy on top of the hatch. Using wooden slats from the bed springs on their mattresses, Marshall tries to pry it open. But it's not budging. Ed, who is a farmer, and by all accounts, a strong and burly man, lies on his back and pushes at it with these strong farmer legs. They keep going for an hour, two hours more that is not giving up, pushing, pushing, pushing. Eventually, Marshall has enough room for his fingers and he's able to grip the plate. He's able to get a grip on it.

He keeps shoving, pushing with all his might, and with Ed and his friend Robert's help, he's able to dislodge the tractor batteries and he begins to dig through the dirt on top. Oh my God. Wow. It is. His kid's 14 years old. What a brave kid. So they don't really know what's on top. No, they just know there's something up.

They can feel there's something on there and they keep pushing until the battery sort of move enough that they fall off. But they're still under heaps of dirt. Yeah, then there's still dirt on top of them. So they're able to push through the dirt and he just starts digging. It's not as much in this place as it is everywhere else. Oh my God, that's insane.

Good on them. So he keeps digging and digging. Marshall, an absolute hero, 14-year-old kid, opens the hatch at 7.30pm. It's still daylight and thankfully, no one is standing guard on the other side. Oh, my God. The great fools, they're probably so on the blower.

Yeah. They still call them again. hit redile. By this point, they've been missing for over 27 hours, 16 of which have been in this underground truck. Oh my God. Nearly that whole time in complete darkness. One by one, the children are helped up the mattresses until they are all out.

Get the fuck out. That is insane. So amazing. According to Mental Floss, still acting the hero, Marshall, the 14-year-old, runs into the woods, intentionally separating himself from the group in case they run into the kidnappers, and then he can go and run and get help. Smart kid. That is actually the only situation in which we should split up is clever.

Yeah, because like, you know, if the kidnappers appear and round him up again, he's just going to go for it and go get help. Yeah. Oh my God. But that doesn't need to happen because at 8pm, Ed, the driver leads the kids down the nearby dirt road, but they stumble upon a man working at the quarry. The quarryman hits the alarm button assuming that they're trespasses,

which is weird to see 25 people together with a bunch of kids. Small children. You're just seeing 25 shadowy figures being like, oh, this is not good. Oh, this is not good. Oh, no, that five-year-old stealing our rock. No, you're not old enough to mine. You have to be six. So the guys hit the panting button, but Ed emerges.

Remember, he's still in his underwear without shoes. Oh, my God, yeah. He says, we're the ones from Chow Chila. And the response from the man is, oh, the world's been looking for you. Oh. Are they quite far away? Yeah, so they're 100 miles away.

Oh, that's right. You did say that, yeah. So, because at first I was like, maybe Ed knows where they are and can get them home, but they're 100 miles away. Well, they thought of that because they know Ed knows the area. Yeah, because he's a fucking bus driver. Oh, my God. 11 and a half years equivalent of bus driving.

That means he's paying attention to where he's going, Cass. Yes, yeah, I know that now. I know that now. I want to drive in the car. I didn't know you were meant to look. But the good news is Ed and the kids are all safe. What? And Ed is given his favourite soda a Pepsi and also some overalls to cover up his shame.

Great call. That's good. Giving overalls a good name again because they were having a bad name for a bit there. Yes. Soon police arrive at the quarry and photos are taken of each of the children as evidence and making sure they're okay. The good news spreads quickly back in town. The kids have been found that they're okay.

By midnight, hundreds gather at the police and fire stations waiting for Ed and the children to return. Don't tell me they make Ed drive the bus back. Give the men a break. Well, they are loaded onto another bus, but thankfully Ed doesn't have to drive. Let him lie down the back row. Oh, my God. I know that's the cool spot, kids, but let Ed have a lie down for a bit, okay? Where's Michael?

Yeah, he's got it. He's there as well, isn't he? Oh, yeah, they're all together. Michael's still with him, isn't he? They're all safe now. Yeah, he's regrouped with them once they're all safe. So they're all back. And they're taken to the closest place that can hold them all,

which is the Santa Rita Rehabilitation Center, which is a local jail. It's the only place that can get them all together. Oh, the San Riri, of course. You know it. They're given apples and sodas and are all examined by doctors. They're going to need a bit more than an apple. That's why they got the fucking soda.

Oh, yeah, you're right. Sorry, that'll fill you up. Apple for health, soda for energy. And they're looked at by doctors, incredibly. None of the kids have been physically injured. Neither is there. Sick. Almost just as incredible is that at 4 a.m. after being awake for a.

about two days straight, because he would have gotten up to do the farming, the morning of the bus. Oh my God. The bus trip. Under some of the worst conditions imaginable, he's been up for two days, Ed agrees to speak to the media on one condition. No questions. Oh. He goes out there, he makes a statement. He says, in his fantastic accent, me and a couple of the older kids figured the only way out

was the way we came in. But we didn't have no ladder. We stacked up those mattresses and box springs to reach the hole. They put a piece of plywood over the hole. We tried to push it off. It was too heavy, but we could tell there's some dirt showing around the edges. That's what he said. He's just super casual.

Wow. Also, me and some kids figured out. Yeah. Ed, come on. I feel like some kids figured it. Some kid and some you figured it out, you know? Kid and Ed. Kid started to try and you went, I've got some strong legs.

Yeah, well, initially you were like, nah, and then you were like, oh. And we've all been there, there's no shame in that. Yeah, that's okay. Just admit it, though. Credit where it's due, you know. Yeah. And now the media reports that had questioned him earlier portrayed Ed for what he really was.

A hero. Good. I mean, where's Michael's, you know, where's his hero status? Did he, were they, were the nice room? Media report, good? Yes, yes. And he's, yeah, he's always praised as a big hero.

And there's one photo of him that I've seen. And even at 14, he looks like a, little badass. What a legend. Little HR tough and stuff. Yeah, he just looks confident and cool. Yeah. But what about the kidnappers?

Well? Yeah. What about them? Well, the town of the sheriff was stoked the kids were alive and well, but they also wanted to catch whoever was responsible for putting them in that horrible situation.

Investigators unearthed the truck trailer that had been the children's underground tomb, hoping they would find clues that would lead them to the kidnappers. According to mental floss again, was put under hypnosis and was able to recall one of the license plates and the vans used to shuttle the victims out of the quarry. Get the fuck out.

He even remembered most of the plate on the other van too. Ed, I would kiss you. What a guy. Are you kidding me? He got hypnotized into remembering. Remember. Oh my God, that feels like going back in time. Yeah.

That feels like going back in time, be like, okay, and putting you under a spell, what can you see? That's amazing. Also love that it sounds like they went straight to hypnosis too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you remember it all? Actually, don't worry. Don't answer until you've watched this watch really closely. That's amazing.

Authorities match the numbers to vans found in a San Jose warehouse that had been leased by a man called Fred Woods, whose father also happened to own the quarry. Oh. A little bit suss. Very suss. A warrant was executed on the estate of Wood's father and their police recovered one of the guns used in the kidnapping. Why aren't we hypnotising people all the time?

I know, it sounds like it works. I've only ever heard of it once and it worked every time. Genuinely, every single time I've heard of someone getting hypnotised, it has worked, to, like, help them mentally. Yeah. I've heard a friend do it recently to quit vaping and it's worked. It's worked. I know someone who goes to quits my...

I know someone who got it to stop grinding their teeth in their sleep. Wow. Yeah. Pretty amazing. I don't understand it. Neither. I'm all for it. And even if it's a placebo, like even if it's bullshit, right?

If it works, who cares? Yeah, like it's not bullshit. Placebos count. If someone can be like, I'm going to talk to you for a bit and then you're going to break a habit that you otherwise have not been able to break with everything else you've tried, that works. That works. That's a hit rate right there.

That's magic. Totally. I love magic. I love it. Big fan. The human brain rules. We are idiots. So dumb. We're so trickable. And I love how trickable we are because it means that we, you know, for all the harm it causes us,

it means we can do cool shit like this. Yeah. We can remember license plates from the most traumatic day of our life. Yep. Which then leads to baddies getting caught. Love that. Coming in and being like, hey, my. brain has become addicted to

cigarettes or vapes or hey, my brain has decided to channel all of my stress into my jaw. It got tricked. Can you trick it back? And someone's like, yeah, I'll trick it back. Then you're like, thanks. Done. You tricked my trick. I'm normal. Like it.

How is that bullshit? That rules. Desired outcome has been achieved. Oh, amazing. Do you want to go get hypnotized? Yes. There's actually nothing wrong with me though. Which is a bit disappointing. That's such a bummer.

Yeah, I can't think of anything I need fixed. I know because I'm perfect. I wonder if you can be hypnotized to be less perfect so you could be more relatable. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah. We'll see. I mean, miracles happen, I suppose.

Yeah. Can I be hypnotized to be less hot? Yeah. It's distracting, Dave. People can't take you seriously. I know. That's all I think about. They're undressing you with their eyes.

I'll hypnotize them to redress them with their eyes. They dress you up more. Put a jacket on him. Give you a scarf. So, yeah, in this instance, hypnosis has worked. They've found the kidnappers hideout, but the kidnappers were gone.

Oh, you don't say. The three men had awoken from their nap to hear the news that the children were safe and they'd all fled. So hang on, they got safe from having a big sleep. Yeah. So if they had just been awake a bit earlier. If one of them, if they'd taken turns,

like guarding the, the hole, this would have been avoided. Yep. That's crazy. They can't get out. Whatever, it's fine. I closed it. You put the battery on you.

Yeah, I put the battery. Did I lock it? Fuck. Should I take you a picture? Should I go back and check? No, man, I saw you lock it. Okay, okay. You're sure.

Yes. Go back to sleep. We've had a big day. No wonder you're stressed. So they're gone, but they're left behind a lot of incredibly damning evidence. The vans were both found soon after and 4,000 other pieces of evidence were logged.

4,000? Yeah. I don't think how, that was, it was 20, it was what, like under 30 hours? Yeah, it's so much. Are there even 4,000 seconds in 30 hours? Dave's stored maths in his head. I can see that. Yeah.

Yeah, surely, right? 30 hours would have, divided by 60 minutes. Anyway, yep. 30 times 60 times 60 is it? Yeah, it's more than surely. Anyway, we're looking at 100,000 seconds here. Oh, okay, okay. I was very off.

But still, but still. But is it even 4,000 minutes? Don't, please stop, I'm sorry. You're very good. It is not. Ah, can I be hypnotized to be smart? Oh, that would be so good. Make me good at maths.

Oh, yes, please. So there's 4,000 pieces of evidence logged, but one important piece of evidence was a document that simply says plan. Get stuffed. Are you kidding me? It sets out how they were going to commit the kidnapping and what they would do if something went wrong.

So their organisation was their demise, ultimately. Yes. Well, honestly, it was absolutely amateur error in that respect that they left the plan just sitting there. Yeah, they fled and then were like, Just leave it. We don't have time. So Fred Woods, his dad owned the quarry, he was on the run, and it was soon discovered that his accomplices were two other men,

also in their early to mid-20s. So they're quite young men. The other two were brothers, Richard and James Schoenfeld. So there was four of them. No. Wait, three. That's three. Oh, no. We're going to need that hypnotist?

Yeah, can we get someone in? So it's Fred and then also Richard and James of the brother. James and Fred went to school together and they all moved in the same extremely wealthy circles. Fred Wood's father owned real estate and various businesses, including California Rock and Gravel Quarry in Livermore, in California where the kids were buried. And the brother's father was a well-to-do podiatrist.

They're all very wealthy. Oh, God. Despite their wealthy backgrounds, things hadn't been looking good for the trio lately. This is again from Mental Floss. James Schoenfeld worked as a bus boy to put himself through college. His father had given him money to buy a Jaguar, but he was unable to afford the insurance premiums for it

and had to sell the car. The car, not the cat. Yes. Oh, tragic. That's so, yeah, I can really see. Some people have it tough, you know? It's tricky. Yeah.

Do you think the insurance premiums on a Jaguar cat would also be quite expensive? I... Oh, so are you ensuring nothing happens to your cat? And then if something does happen to your cat, you get a new cat? Or is it like vet insurance? Yeah, third party. Damage the cat does to other things, yeah.

In case it like runs into the back of a Ferrari or something. Okay, if it's third party, exceptionally high. Yeah. Right, yeah, yeah. Because I reckon if it's not third party and it's more like damage to your cat, I reckon they would whack a clause in there that says if the cat has to be put down for something the cat did, not covered.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it can be proven that it's like, you know, yeah, some sort of congenital issue, then, yeah, the breeder should be replacing the cat. Yeah. The insurance company coming up being like, yeah, I mean, this would be us, but it is a you problem. So we, it's a thing in the US where insurance companies sue each other

and then sue different things. It's always legal battles. It's like, do you remember that story ages ago where there was that, the story came out saying, this woman is suing her nephew for giving her a hug? And it was like this kid had given his aunt a hug and squeeze so tight at cracked a rib. And so she went to her health insurance.

It was like, can I get my rib fix? They're like, absolutely not. It's your nephew's fault. He should pay for it. So the insurance companies on behalf of the, you know, the claimants were suing. each other. What a country.

Land of the free. Amazing. Amazing stuff. Incredible stuff. Having a nephew is actually a pre-existing condition. Yeah. You were born into a family with a sister and you didn't disclose that. You had the nephew before the cracked ribs.

Yeah. We don't actually cover that. That was an existing issue and as a result we actually have to raise your premiums. You can't disclose that now. We can't go back. You can't be trusted. How many nephews have you got?

Okay. Oh, nieces as well. You're fucked. Oh my God. You're riddled with them. Yeah. That's awful. That's what you get coming from a big family. Sorry about that. I don't make the rules. We're not going to insure you anymore. You are a liability to us. Yeah, you will need to pay a cancellation fee. Because we've had to cancel it because of you. It's, yeah, that's not on us. It's not on us at all. We've done everything we could. Yeah, we're perfect. If you don't want to pay it, then you should have gotten the insurance insurance. That's not on us. It's a your choice. It's not on us. That is incredible. So this trio of bandits, they've turned to crime because stuff hasn't worked out for them financially. So they tried to invest in real estate but ended up losing tens of thousands

of dollars. He went to buy a car and it didn't work and he's like, I'm going to steal children. Yeah. The world's so unfair. The world's so unfair. I can't buy a car. My houses that I bought are losing me some money. Crime. Doing crimes. Before crime, they had a logical step. They thought, how about we get into the movie business? Oh, my God. What do you mean they turn to the arts?

They came up with the idea for a screenplay for what they thought of as the perfect crime, but they decided it was so perfect that it'd be stupid to not just do the crime. You're kidding. These are the dumbest men I've ever heard of. Three wealthy men in their early 20s. Three wealthy fucking rats is what they are. Do you know what? No wonder it was so planned out.

They just wrote a screenplay. They were following a script. They were inspired by the 1971 Clint Eastwood classic Dirty Harry. Sure. And I've seen it maybe 15 plus years ago with my dad. So this is a plot summary from Wikipedia, a website I found that I think is devoted to Clint Eastwood movies. It's got a lot of them on there.

Maybe not all of them, but some of them, which is cool. I think the W stands for Wood. Yeah. That makes sense. Cool. That does make sense, yeah. And this describes the plot from Dirty Harry. See if you can see that there's any similarities.

So Scorpio, which is the bad guy in the movie, steals a Walter P-38 pistol from a liquor store owner and hijacks a school bus. Dig-ding-ding, ding, ding. I'm hearing bus. That's right. He contacts the police with another ransom demand. Oh, oh, ding-ding-ding.

I hear contact. Actually, that's not a similarity. They couldn't contact the thing. He couldn't do it. His demands include a flight out to the Santa Rosa airport. So, yeah, they've taken that bit and gone. School bus. School bus, called the cops.

I mean, they, they, the kids didn't end up at San Rui, and they, the movie did have San Rose air, but that's not quite a signal already, is it? And you'll see, there's another bit here. Harry, Clint is his character, waits for Scorpio, then jumps onto the roof of, of the bus from an overpass. Scorpio crashes the bus

into a dirt mound and flees to a nearby quarry. Huh? And they've gone, great, the dirt mound. The bus basically disappeared in there will make the kids disappear in the quarry. My daddy's got a quarry. Oh, Papa, may I borrow your quarry per chance?

Not that I'm talking to Daddy after he didn't give me enough money for the JAG and insurance. I hate my daddy. Oh, he expected me to cover my insurance? Well, I may as well not have a car. car and go into crimes. Is that what you want, Daddy?

Do you reckon it worked? Do you reckon Dad loves them more now? I think so. Yeah, well, that's good. Finally, a win for the little guy. So they're inspired by Dirty Harry. Their target, the Californian government had recently reported a billion dollar surplus.

So they figured the state could easily afford to shell out $5 million. Right. Sure. And their end game was buying really fast and expensive cars. That was their endgame. So they just still wanted... This is all about the car.

It's all about having a nice, expensive car, yes. Yeah. $5 million. So it's a little unsatisfying for me because they want 5 mil and there's three of them and I don't like that split. Go for six, have two each. Come on.

Yeah, I agree. Maybe they actually sat down, did some maths, men in STEM, we love to see it and they were like, this is how much a Jaguar and the insurance will cost. and maybe it wasn't like a nice round number. He's factored it in this time. Yeah.

And they probably didn't want to be greedy and like ask for more than they needed for their Jaguar and insurance. So yeah, okay, yeah, that probably makes more sense. Yeah, it makes more sense because they're like, well, this is a simple deal, you know? Yeah. We would have made $5 million from the movie

and this is just going to be a lot quicker. Yeah. This would have cost them a lot to set up as well. Maybe the $5 million includes, like, you know, they're paying themselves an hourly wage that's decent and they're also paying themselves for like, you know, materials used. They're also putting aside a bit for tax and for super as well. That's probably it.

It's like the artist maths where you're like, okay, my time plus materials, plus, you know, paying yourself for super, you've got your tax thing, like just to add a bit more just to make sure that you don't have to pay anything at the end if you do. And then you've got your profit on top of that because you still do deserve to, you know, earn something for your time. Of course. But then you also have to make some that will cover the cost of the next project. So maybe the 5 mil was to cover the next kidnapping as well.

Like new car, pay them for their time, tax, super, insurance, next project. Yeah, yeah, I think you're spot on there. That's how they've done it. If anything, 5 million is a pretty decent amount. They weren't asking for too much. They're being conservative, but it's like it's their first kidnapping. Yeah, but you're going to get the word out there. Yeah.

Exactly right, yeah. We do talk a big game about how, you know, you can't, you shouldn't charge someone exposure but like the reality is you do like when you're starting out you kind of do have to eat it a bit and you and you want exposure you want people to be able to have access to your things so that more people can see it like I know okay God it's hard out there I know I'm kind of on their side now yeah it's so sad that it's just another another story of a failure in the arts yeah small business owners I feel like they should have just written the movie because these are notes on the kidnapping that were also found and I'm like this would have made a cool movie

It says, conceal the kids, hide the vans. Go somewhere else to collect the money. From there, Rick will get a plane to take James to a small uncontrolled airport like Lodi. They'll meet Fred, who will hijack the plane. Then Rick and Fred load the dummies into the plane with parachutes and an extra parachute, of course. So they were planning to parachute the kids out of a plane? I think they were going to parachute some dummies out of a plane, I don't know. Oh, so they were going to distract people and make people think that kids were flying out of a plane?

I think maybe. There's lots of scribblings that were found. Or do you think it was their getaway? What, in the plane? And then you throw the dummies out. The dummies are them. Faking their own death kind of thing. Maybe it's a faking their own death.

Maybe it's just like a tech run. Just to be like, well, we obviously don't want to place anyone in danger or you need to make sure we do it properly. Let's just run it with dummies first. You've got to be safe. Add another $500,000 to our end fee. I think this is very important. Yeah.

They also had a to do-do. list which included buy Ronald Reagan bumper stickers to put on their car to fit in. Which are... They really were in the arts. They were like, okay, we got to make ourselves... We got a method activists.

They also had a note to burn the notebook that they were currently writing in, which of course... They didn't, so it was now evidence. That's so good. There are notes to get infrared to see at night. to get an X-ray truck with gas masks and lead vests. I don't know if an X-ray truck exists.

And my favorite line of all is, pick up the money using an illusion in brackets like magic. Oh my God. Truly incredible. They were writing a heist movie. Forgetting that heist movies are like not real. And so doing this stuff in IRL probably wasn't going to be as smooth as they were hoping. I love saying

use an illusion like magic. Because that's half a thought. Yeah. Yeah. And it feels like they haven't worked it out yet, but they're like, oh, we'll think of it. We'll do it on the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The adrenaline will get us through. And why did they choose kids? Well, they thought

what kind of fight would they put up? It'll be like taking candy from a baby. But they didn't count on a badass kids like Marshall. And now they were on the run and a nationwide manhunt was launched with the three kidnappers' face is plastered everywhere. Wow. They bodged it up, didn't they?

Proper cooked. Stick a fork in him, I'm done. After about a week on the run and with his face everywhere, Richard Schoenfeld decided to turn himself in. Being from a very wealthy background, he arrived with a very expensive lawyer in tow. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. How did he afford to pay him? Daddy. Papa, tell that. You know, that money for the Jaguar? Yeah. I think I've decided what I want to spend it on instead. Yes, boy?

The other two Fred and James were together at a safe house in Reno, but Fred had actually thought ahead and he'd arranged a fake passport earlier so he flew out to Vancouver leaving poor James behind. Piece of shit. Yep, he just abandoned his mate. See ya. James tried to drive over the US-Canadian border

but was turned back when he was very nervous and had a car full of guns. The idea of someone driving so nervously and you can just hear pistols rattling me like Ooh, I hope they don't look at the car So he thought I'll have another go of this He went to a shop, sold the guns Then had another go at crossing the border

But he'd missed four guns That Fred had put in the centre console and in the boot So again he was denied I got rid of the guns All of them Oh, holy shit! And they're like searching the car going, what about this, what about this, this and this?

And he's like, oh no. There's still far too many guns. Yeah, you still have four. You said you had no guns, but we found four. Four is too many guns. It feels like when you were at the airport and someone's going through your bag and they like find, I don't know, like a bottle or something.

They're like, this is 110 mil. You're like, oh, really? Damn it, I can't take that. They're like, no, it's over 100 mil. You can't take this on a plane. And you're like, ah, the whole, I guess, throw it out. That's so annoying though.

you know, I wanted to drink that or use that on my face. That's my conditioner. Yeah. Oh, hey, you've got guns in this cart. Ah. And you have to take them? Come on, that's my peanut butter gun. Come on.

I thought you're allowed to have four guns, but no more than four. Yeah, no more than four. With six bullets each. Nah, the limit's four bullets. Oh. Did that change? Yeah, if I shoot them off now, no, it's the size of the bullet chamber. You could have the capacity for six bullets,

so we can't let you take it in. Oh, but you can tell that I've not got six in there. Like, surely that's fine. It isn't. It's not okay. We were flying to Sydney recently, and my boyfriend had scissors in his carry-on. Oh, dear.

But it was in like a little kit with, like, nail clippers and maybe some toys or something. Oh, yeah. Anyway, so it's set off the x-ray, and they come over and they're like, have you got scissors, and he was like, shit. I completely forgot I had this little kit in my bag. If you've got to throw it out, you've got to throw it out. They pull it out, they look at the nail clippers,

and they look at the scissors, and they're like, no, that's fine. Because they, like, was so tiny and shit that it was like, if you stabbed someone with this, they would go, hey. Hey, stop that. Like, it would be worse to use the fork that they give you with your meal. Definitely. Do you know what I've just realized? I flew the other week. I have a knife on my keys. Oh. I forgot. I mean, it's. tiny. What kind of knife you got on your keys, Cass? It's like a pocket knife, but really small, like really small, like maybe a centimeter long. Oh, shit. It's so tiny. It's really only good for if you got a kind of plastic label off of something or if you need a shotgun, a beer.

But not shotgun a person. It will not pier skin. Yeah, I reckon it's a centimeter long and like three mill wide or something. It's tiny, but I completely, They once took, you know those credit card size things that are like made a metal and some parts of it are a screwdriver and some part of it is a little nut turner and a bottle opener? They took that off me at the airport. They were like, you can't travel with this. But not your tiny, tiny little knife. Not my tiny little life. They didn't even notice my, I forgot about my tiny little life.

Got away with it. Got away with it. I'm so glad they didn't take it. I love my little night. It was a gift. It was a birthday present. Well, think about that next time you fly. Yeah, I'll have to.

It wouldn't de-escalate the situation by being like, oh, no, I only use that for shotgunning. Please, it's just if a tag is annoying me, or if I need a beer real quick. Prove it, they pull out a can. Show us how you use it. Oh, no, I'm not good at it. I'm still learning.

I never said I was good. It's a hobby, not a profession. A hobby. It's on your like dating profiles What are your hobbies? Shotgunning beer Yeah, I shot gun beer But only recreationally

It's just for fun Just for fun I only do it for me I don't do it in front of anyone I don't perform Oh so we left Fred With four guns in his car Being denied

They didn't take the guns away from him They're just like you just They're like no You're not allowed in here with your guns Yeah I think that's basically they're saying You can't bring them into Canada But you can have them over there And he went oh fine

And he went back, so he drove to Idaho, sold his car and traded to a van, trying to cover his tracks. But it's all falling apart. Eventually, he was nicked when he was recognised in Menlo Park in California because his face was everywhere. Leaving only Fred on the run in Vancouver, but he two were soon arrested. And when he was told his bail was set at $1 million, he replied, huh, it seems kind of high. Oh, my God, these guys suck. Yeah.

Oh, jeez. So they were all arrested, and all three men pleaded guilty to kidnapping for ransom as part of a deal to drop 18 counts of robbery. And that's important. Mental Floss explains they maintained a plea of not guilty to charges of kidnapping with bodily harm and passed on a jury trial. Prosecutor David Minier convinced Superior Court Judge Leo Deegan that the crime carried with it bodily harm since three of the children reported some combination of nausea, nosebleeds and fainting. that charge carried a mandatory sentence of life in prison without parole. All three were found guilty. Each man received 27 such sentences,

one for each of the kidnapped victims. So it boils down to life without the possibility of parole. Holy shit. However, this ruling changed in 1980 when an appeals court ruled that it shouldn't be considered bodily harm. The sentence stayed the same, but the lack of any possibility of parole was withdrawn, meaning in theory the kidnappers, it's life in prison,

but one day they could apply for parole. And that's exactly what they've done. At first they were all denied a couple of dozen times, but this changed in 2012. Richard Schoenfeld, one of the brothers, was released. His brother James followed in 2015, by this time they'd served 36 and 39 years respectively. Jesus.

Both brothers had a blemish-free record. in prison, so that really helped them. I guess offence, they weren't good at crime. I can't imagine they would have given another go. No, they were really bad. Yeah. I can imagine even if they tried to do a crime in prison, it wouldn't have worked. So they might have

had a couple of goes at doing crime in prison, but the police are like, blemish free. Damn it, again! Their accomplice, Fred Woods, had apparently gotten to some trouble whilst behind bars. At the time of recording, he still is in jail, having served 46 years.

CNN reports that he's next up for parole in 2024. Do we have any info on how the kids are doing? Oh yes, we got a little bit on that. Just finally on Fred Woods, Vox writes that he's considered the architect of the crime and that's why his parole's been denied 15 times. They write, he keeps getting caught with contraband, pornography and cell phones. Also, Vox adds he recently bought a mansion on the coast. You see, his parents both since died

that he inherited their large fortune. So he probably could have just waited to get that expensive car. So now he's in jail with lots of money. And just with the kids, just after the kidnapping, there was a parade in town for Ed the bus driver and all the kids. Good. Ed rode a float with all the kids hugging him, apparently. Oh.

And then they were all invited to Disneyland. Yeah. Which is cute. That's adorable. I mean, I'm sure there are a lot of rides at Disneyland that probably would have been a bit re-traumatizing. Well, the ones where you go through a tight corner and a mountain, probably not great. But maybe to help rewire their brains to be like, darkness, not always evil.

Can be fun. Allowed to be fun in small space. Notice how it doesn't smell off piss and shit. Are they doing okay? Well, I will say that many of the kids that were kidnapped that day are still alive. And even though they went physically injured, they carry a life sentence of their own, bearing many mental scars. And a few of them have done interviews over the years, even decades.

later saying that it's still with them. There's stories of adults having to sleep with the light on and others too afraid to sleep because they have horrific dreams. So many are still deeply affected by the traumatic day. Ed went back to work for the Dairyland Union School District just two months after the incident, driving Dairyland bus number one, the same one he'd been hijacked on.

Wow. He just went back and started working. Yeah, straight back on the horse. Ed Ray died in 2012 at the age of 91. Oh, Ed! Good innings. Great innings. Good on your head.

In the weeks before his death, almost everybody who was buried in the van with him came to his bedside to say goodbye. Oh, that's nice. And his birthday is now seen as a local holiday. So what a tribute. Yeah, it's so lovely. That's the story of the Chow Chilas School Bus Kidnapping.

And I'll just give you the pitch now from P to C, Kyncelor, which made everyone vote for it and also made me go, I've got to talk about this. Yes, yes, yes. This is the pitch from Peter. School bus driver Frank Edward Ed, Ray, has been buried alive. Worse, he's been buried alive with 26 children. Can Ed keep these kids alive?

Can the police foil one of the largest mass kidnapping plots in US history before it's too late? How good is that? Oh, that is fun. That's so good. Good job. That rules. Look it up and then I realised that none of the kids die

and I'm like, oh, this is perfect. Yeah, I do appreciate, and pulling the curtain back a little bit here, I do appreciate you telling Cass and I, before we started recording, you said, I'm not going to tell you anything about this topic, but everyone is okay, which is why Cass and I felt okay, fucking around a little bit. Because this is one of those stories where it's apparent early, something bad has happened.

Unlike topics we've done recently, where we've been going, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. And then an entire family is massacred, and we did not know the whole time. That's right. but this is within five minutes. You're like, oh, this is a kidnapping of children. Okay, yeah.

So yes, no, I did let you know that. It wasn't going to be an episode where lots of people die, thank goodness. Yeah, nah. I don't think we could handle those kind of eps. No. No. That would not be great. Imagine we're like, Cass, thanks so much for coming on.

Anyway, here's a story about a bunch of kids, some as young as five. Ficking brutally killed. No, thank you. Well, guys. Thanks for having me on. I think I'm going to go. I'd like to be off now. I guess it's also a good sign for people.

Anyone can suggest a topic at any time at our website. Do go onpod.com. And it just goes, we do read the little pictures that people put in. So if you've got a cool story out there and you really want us to talk about it, make it sizzled a bit. Make it jump off the page because there is about 8,000 suggestions. No joke at the moment.

There's so many. And also, I think a good thing to remember as well is that like if you are suggesting this topic because you've just read a really interesting article about it or you've seen an interesting documentary or whatever, there's also a spot in the suggestions where you can recommend like a source or something like that. And that can be really, really handy as well. I often will go through and check just to see if anybody's had an article or a book or a movie or whatever that I haven't come across yet. And that can be really, really handy. So yeah, absolutely. Do a little elevator pitch for us and get saucy.

Get saucy. Great. Well, Cass, thank you so much for joining us again on the show. It's great to have you as our fourth and or fifth beetle. Oh, thank you. It's lovely to be beating with you guys. On the beatling. Bit, uh, yeah, I didn't need to add anything. Fourth or fifth beetle is already a fun little joke.

And that guy at the airport. Like, what's a, you know, two feet from fame or something? That last beetle, one of the Beatles was sick. Oh, yeah. Six feet from fame, baby, yeah. Yes, it's, it's. Called in another beetle, and he was world famous for two weeks, and then went back to his normal life.

Yeah. That's me. That's you. I love when everyone's commenting on the Twitters and the Instagrams being like, great ep guys, and everyone's interacting. I love how involved all your fans are. It's really lovely. People being like, loved this bit, loved this.

And I'm like, oh, yeah. For a week at a time, baby. Yeah, it's nice. It's nice. And it's actually very handy because I forget everything as soon as we stop recording. So it is nice when they're like, hey, I like this joke. And I'm like, oh, yeah. I love when people do that because sometimes it'll be a joke I've made.

Like, this podcast and other ones, and I'd be like, I didn't remember making that. So as I was reading it, I was like, funny. And I don't know, it's me. And then I'm like, oh, that was like unbiased. Sometimes I'm funny. Yeah, every time. There's a DoGo on Wisdom Twitter account that just tweets out of context quotes from us.

And it often makes me cackle. And then I'm like, that was me. I said that. Do we know the handle for this one? I think it's Do Go On Wisdom. Is that what it is, Dave? I think it is at Do Go on Wisdom. I think so.

It's still a mystery as to who runs the account. We don't know. I never want to know, but maybe on my deathbed. They'll all come to you. Okay. I've followed. It is funny. It is...

Just no context. Yeah, it's good stuff. Oh, well, that's my afternoon. You can go back through that. Enjoy that randomness. And if Cass, if people want to hear more of you, what are the great podcast you're on every single week? Oh, shut up a second.

That's the pot I'm on every single week. Oh, I thought you were just telling me to shut my mouth. Just for one second, Dave, while I give a little plug of something close to my heart. No, no, jump on shut up a second. I'm on the Sanspance Pants Radio Network. guess it on a bunch of pods. Sometimes I'm on D&D.

Every now and there, and we would change characters and seasons. So if you like Dungeons and Dragons and silly, I can provide you that. And if I'm not on it, it's still a great pod. But yeah, shut up a second. Fun little comedy pod. I'm on that every week. So jump on.

Shut up a sec on Twitter. Would love to see you there. Yeah, thank you so much for joining us. And I'm sure you'll join us again very, very soon. Oh, I've got to take most spot. I've got to throw it. the bad. Well, that brings us to everyone's

favorite part of the show where we like to thank a few of our supporters who support us on Patreon.com slash do go on pod. You may notice that I sound different and you may also notice that Cass and Dave are not here.

I'm recording this a couple of weeks later and solo. So look, gonna do my absolute best. Thank you again to Cass for, I mean, always being so up for coming and doing do go on when one of us is away. We really appreciate it. In this case, I don't even remember if we talked about it on the pod, but we gave her so little notice.

Like literally, I think it was an hour's notice or something. And she was like, yeah, of course, I'll do that. Like an absolute goddamn legend. So we appreciate her coming in doing the podcast for us. And we also, I just want to say as well that we appreciate you because this whole year has just felt like we're constantly playing catch-up. And you probably feel a bit the same too. It seems to be a bit of a universal thing

where it's like after a couple of years of being stuck in your houses or just life not being normal, to all of a sudden be doing stuff again. It feels like a bit of a slap in the face. So thank you for sticking with us and supporting everything we've done as we've had to make strange changes and have more guest reports

and guests coming on the podcast. There's a couple more to come in the following weeks because Dave's away on a holiday, Matt's away filming something, I'm away on a holiday, you know, we're trying to get stuff done around also having lives. And you guys have just been so great and so supportive and just listen to the pod and love us all the same. So appreciate you very much.

Okay, let's get into it though. Your favourite part of the show. Why am I puffed? I'm just sitting here at my desk. Is this middle age? Okay. So, first thing we do is we read some facts, some quotes or some questions. Now, this is for the Sydney-Shineberg deluxe package level of Patreon, where you get to submit a fact, a quote, or a question. It also has a little jingle that I think goes something like this.

Fact quote or question. Ding! She always remembers the day. You feel like a fucking psychopath doing that alone. But we do what we've got to do. Okay. Our first fact, quote or question, comes from Wheat, Weettington. Love that very much.

And you also get to give yourself a title. Wheat Wheetington has given themselves the title of Curator of Useless History, which I love very much. And Wheat has given us a fact. And that fact is founded in 1928. the Soviet city of Magnetorgust, nailed it, was built from the ground up as they could design it however they wanted. They based it on the greatest city in the world.

Gary, Indiana. Both the city and steelworks were patented after Gary, meaning you could call this the Gary of the East. Wheattington, what a fantastic Gary Indiana fact. Do I know if that's true or not? We never fact check, but I want to believe it's true because Gary, Indiana, of course, the greatest city in the world. Why wouldn't you want to base any other city on it?

Like top, top priority, top choice, I should say. So thank you, Wheattington. Our next fact, quote, a question comes from Aidan, callan. And Aidan's given themselves a title, Recruitment Officer for Krusty Old Deans. It's a tough job, Aiden, but somebody's got to do it. And Aidan's given us a question. Aiden's question is, what's a topic you feel would make a great report, but is just too small, or there's just not enough available detail to flesh it out into a story?

I know you might need a moment to think about this, so I'll give you too. Aiden, read my goddamn mind. Also, this is a question we get quite a bit, and I find it really hard because there's been a few cases where I've looked into something and I've gone, oh, that's a good story, but there isn't really enough on it. And I guess that's why we're lucky that we get to do like the bonus episodes for our Patreon and yeah, our supporters because sometimes when there isn't enough information on something, you're sort of like, well, I'll make it a bonus.

So I don't have a go-to answer. I wonder if the guys do because every time I do a like Q&A on Instagram, which is probably something I do too often, this always gets asked and I never really have an answer for it. But what we love is when you ask the question, you answer the question yourself. And Aidan's given us two. It says, number one, the time in the 90s where the sugar in Power Rangers ice pops accidentally fermented during the production process. This led to the kids' treat having alcohol content of between 5% and 10% by the time they were purchased. And more importantly, an outbreak of drunk children across the UK and Ireland.

That is wild. absolutely wild would have made a fun time as a kid though actually no a very confusing time because if you accidentally get drunk it's confusing you're like what's happening to me especially as a child

but that is a pretty big blunder and I hope somebody got fired for it number two that Aiden has suggested is the time when a nightclub in Wrexham Wales ran a promotion called Free Till UP Oh, I've read about this one before.

Where all drinks were free until the first person went to the bathroom. It was described in one tweet as absolute carnage. People pissing everywhere and people getting beaten up for going to the toilet. And in another as if the dumbest guy in your hometown got to design the Stanford Prison Experiment. Maybe I saw that tweeted fairly recently. Maybe that's why that rings a bell. Truly Wild. What a stupid promotion that could only end badly?

Like, what were you thinking? People will do so much for free dreams. drinks. That is great. Aiden, thank you so much. I also want to just shout out to you. Aidan, thank you for explaining how your name is pronounced. I've definitely been saying it wrong the entire time you've been supporting us. So I can't guarantee I'm going to remember that it's calling, but I'm going to just try and really lock that away in my brain. But you know my brain is like a sieve. So we'll see. Thank you, Aiden. Another fact, fact, quote, a question we have is from Sof Waldron.

Sof's given herself the title. Honestly, I think I peaked with retired ass man. How am I supposed to come up with something better than that? True. And for a long time, Sof was the official photographer of Do Go On because Sof comes to so many of our live shows and is always hanging about, always up for a chat.

So people get her to take pictures and she's great at it. But yeah, I think maybe you did peek with retired ass man, Sof. Sof's asked a question and something very close to my heart. Sofa said, what's your go-to coffee order? And where's your favorite coffee place? I can answer this probably for all three of us, actually. Dave doesn't drink coffee. He'll have an orange juice if we go out for brunch.

Matt is usually a, he's more of an Earl Grey tea with soy milk kind of man. But when we have a bit of coffee, he'll have usually a soy flat white. And I am a, I think I talked about this recently on my Instagram again. God, I'm tedious. Yes. If I'm having a takeaway, a skinny latte or an oat latte, depending on the oat milk, I don't like some brands. They taste like dirty water. Some brands are great. But if I'm sitting in, I get a flat white because, and I don't know if this is a universal thing, but a latte always comes in a glass and then it's hot to pick it up. It's in a glass. Stupid. Why would you put a hot drink

in a glass? But you get a flat white, which is basically the same thing, just ever so slightly less foam. And now it comes in like a proper coffee cup. You can just pick it up and enjoy your coffee. You'd have to be like, oh, I'm burning my hands, but I want a sip of coffee. So there you go. But then again, Sof, took myself out for some lunch today, ordered a coffee, ordered a flat white because I was dining in. He brought over a latte.

And I was like, this is why I have this system. But the system just cannot possibly account for other people's stupidity. No, he was a nice guy, but I'll never go back there again. As for favorite coffee places, there was a place, why have I forgotten what it's called? Honor? Next to our old, the old warehouse, stupid old studios. And yeah, good coffee, pretty good food. But there was one particular waiter there.

And we only saw him like two or three times. But he was just so warm and so charming and just like just the right level of familiar and friendly. You know, it's like a fine line. he was like really familiar and friendly but not like I don't know he didn't overstep and I loved him and then he wasn't there a few times and I was like this place is dead to me and then I made Stupid Old Studios move locations because I was like I can't work next to this in this cafe

I can't do it I won't I won't do it so that's why we've moved and finally for the fact quote or question we have a question from Jacob Yerong Now, Giron, we say this every time. Oh, actually, I think you're about to explain. Okay, this is fantastic. Anyway, Jacob's given themselves the title, The Future Frenchman and has asked a question.

Says, I'm back with a question, but first I will finally put Matt out of his misery on how to pronounce my last name. Here's the issue. Matt's not here. Again, as I said to Aiden, Corlan, who I've always called Coglin, I'm going to forget this.

But I'm, you know what? I'm going to try and, fuck, I was going to say I'm going to copy and paste this into a message to Matt as soon as I'm done here. That's going to be in another 10 minutes. It's going to be gone. I'm not going to remember it all. But anyway, okay, here's how to pronounce your last name. It is pronounced He-Rone with the rolled R, but knowing how difficult that can be without the role works just fine.

Thank you. Anyways, on to my question. If you could live anywhere in the world that is in Australia, where would that be and why? and as we like people to do, Jacob has answered their own question. It says, my fiancé and I plan on moving to Paris as soon as possible so that our children could grow up and experience the great culture of France and the surrounding countries have to offer. Well, that explains the title of Future Frenchmen.

Thanks so much for the entertainment you bring each week and getting a shout at the end of the episode is always a highlight for me. Cheers. Oh, Jacob, you absolute legend. That is so nice. What a great, what a beautiful idea to do. move to Paris, let's your kids. I mean, I don't know exactly where you're from currently, Jacob, but the mere concept to Australians to be able to live in Europe and even just go to a different

country for a weekend is mind-boggling. Like, that's so amazing. You can just, like, live in London and go to Paris for a weekend. That's crazy, because it takes us 14 days to get anywhere. Where would I live that is in Australia? I mean, I've spent, I wanted to do like a exchange year at my last year of uni and I looked at London but it just timing wise with like the different school years meant that it would like extend my study and I'd already been at uni for so long. So I didn't do that and then I looked at New Zealand because I mean New Zealand felt especially at like what 21, 22 maybe. It sort of felt like it was a different country and sort of different cultures, but also very similar. So it felt a bit safer and less scary. But I think for me, it would be

Ireland. It would be Dublin, which I now say with like a bit of, I don't know, I hesitate a little bit because one time I was working in an office and I was training somebody and she just joined their business and she was from Dublin and I was like oh you're from Dublin it's one of my favourite places in the whole world and she laughed at me she scoffed at me and said why

and I was like okay I just really like it I don't know I've been a few times it's a beautiful I like the Irish people there are a lot of fun the culture and the music is you know you go to a bar pub here and there might be music but we're not really paying attention to it

whereas the music is really a big part of the culture over there and I really love that. I'm trying to justify my own feelings. But yeah, probably for me, it would be Dublin, I reckon. Love that place. Okay, well, I'm sorry that we can't get answers to those questions from Matt and Dave. Let's say Dave would, he would probably,

where are pies good? Don't scream at your iPods. It's late at night and I'm very tired. I reckon Dave would, Dave spent a fair bit of time in Paris. his wife is fluent in French. I could see Dave living in Paris. Matt? Hmm.

Where would Matt go, I wonder? That's a tough one, actually. I could see Matt, like, living, I couldn't see Matt living somewhere like, you know, like New Zealand country. I'm thinking like Hobarton, but obviously he's quite a tall man, but I mean just, like, you know, a real place in New Zealand.

I'm going to stop guessing. I reckon, don't guess, Jess, that's not fair. The next thing that we like to do is give a shout out to a few of our listeners who support the podcast. Now, I've got a few people to get through today because I'm doing this myself. So normally I come up with a little bit of a game as well. And this topic doesn't really lend itself all that well to games. So I'm going to say, like, well, we remember that the kidnames, Knappers provided loaves of bread and some peanut butter.

So I'm going to say what you're providing for lunch. You haven't kidnapped anyone. Just want to make that nice and clear. No one's been kidnapped. You've invited some friends over for lunch. And this is what you're providing. Okay. Nice and safe and gentle.

So the first person I would love to thank from Canada, Saskatoon. So much fun to say. Oh my God. I would love to thank Jacqueline Chaiton. Thank you, Jacqueline. provided the pronunciation so thank you so much. Chaiton. I reckon I might have said Chaiton. Anyway, Jacqueline is providing Canadian delicacy. Poutine. Is that Canadian? Have I just, yeah, that's Canadian. I'm sure of it. So thank you so much.

Delicious. Can't go wrong. The next person I would love to to thank for their support from location unknown so we can only assume deep within the fortress of the moles Sean Onstank Onstank What a name Sean

Oh my God Sean is I'm looking around the room Providing a Pizza Got a wood fire oven in the backyard And just installed it So wanting to really

Take it for a test run So we're going to be making some woodfire pizzas got some side salads, of course. And what else? Now, that's enough. Pisa's in the bitter salad. Delicious. My favorite food, pizza.

Yum. Thank you so much, Sean. I'd also love to thank from Preston in Victoria. Luke Ockenden. Ockenden. Luke, Preston. I've got an auntie who lives in Preston. And, oh yeah, my Uncle Tim, who listens?

made a delicious like meat-free meatloaf for Christmas a couple of years ago I was thinking about it just the other day and he looked surprised when I said this is delicious to him thank you so much he was like really is it it was yum made of all sorts of like grains and just

delicious stuff vegetables in there and also some roast you're putting on a Christmas spread Luke Christmas in July and we love that you got some roast potatoes you got some cheese You got, I don't know, whatever other people have for Christmas. I don't want to, you know, be too vulnerable and expose too much of myself.

If I end up, if I say something that's like a normal Christmas dish for me and you're all like, what? So thank you, Lou. Christmas and July. Also, from Deep Within the Fortress of the Moles, I would love to thank Will Vickory. Will Vickery is fun. I'm thinking for you, Will, it's less. of a lunch and more of like an afternoon tea. So I'm thinking some scones

with jam, then cream, some little finger sandwiches like cucumber sandwiches, I'm thinking like, just like little mini desserts and a few other sort of savoury dishes as well. Absolutely delicious. You got some great coffee brewing, nice big

tea pot ready to go. Everyone's just having a beautiful time. So thank you so much for your hospitality will. I would also love to thank from Rye in Victoria down on the beautiful Mornington Peninsula. I would love to thank Mitchell Grenfell. Mitchell Grenfell.

You've got the E-Double L at the end of both names there, Mitchell. Love it. Mitchell, Grinfeld. And, Rye. So by the seaside, I'm thinking you're doing a homemade fish and chips. You know, you've got some nice, crispy, well-seasoned chips. Got a beautiful bit of fish of your choice. I don't eat fish.

So I don't know. Flake. Is that good? I don't know. Beautiful bit of fish. Some gorgeous side salads. The white wine is flowing. It's one of those lunches that turns into an afternoon tea that turns into a boozy dinner.

And it's, you know, you just make memories. You make your memories. It's a night that you and your friends will talk about for years to come. And then you're kind of known as the party house. So that's fun. Good for you. That sounded sarcastic. Genuinely good for you.

And feel free to invite me. next time you're having one of these nights. I'd also love to thank from Ohio, Athens, Ohio? I would love to thank Chris. No last name here, Chris. Athens, I'm thinking a Greek feast. We've got, you know, like a beautiful Greek salad

with the cucumber and the onion and the tomato and the feta. We've got some beautifully slow-cooked meat. Oh my God, delicious. A Greek feast from Chris. Once again, nobody's been killed. I just want to just clarify that again. Everyone's there willingly. They've driven themselves.

They can leave whenever they want. Just putting that out there again. Thank you, Chris. I'd also love to thank from Burlington, North Carolina. And there's no one here to tell me a boring fact about North Carolina. And that makes me so happy. I would love to thank Lisa Viana. Lisa, yeah.

Again, look a. E.R. Yeah. Lisa. Viana, love it. Great name, Lisa. Thank you so much. Burlington, North Carolina.

You know what, actually, Lisa. You are, and you're quite humble about this, so this isn't something that you would normally tell everybody. But you are a bit of a wizard when it comes to cake decorating. And you have actually prepared a life-size blue fire engine cake. Like, it looks real. You put them together. It's like an episode of Is It Cake?

and the local Burlington Fire Department from a distance have to decide which one is their truck and which one is cake. And honestly, Lisa, they cannot tell because you're that good. Incredible stuff. I think I've lost my mind a little bit here. Okay. Another person from Deep Within the Fortress of the Moles. Suzanne Rolf. Suzanne Roof, you are cooking underground.

So what I'm imagining is like when you go to a luau and they cook a pig in the ground, that's what you've done. You are putting on a luau at your house, which is actually very cool. You've got a pig, lots of salads, beautiful bread, an assortment of meats. And I'm assuming during dinner, you'll also be dancing for us, which is pretty cool. and fire twirling. Some pretty impressive stuff from Suzanne. Thank you so much. Finally, I would love to thank from South Frio in W-A.

Andy Goldsmith. Andy Goldsmith. Okay, what do I know about Frio? Frio. Been there once? Beautiful place. Okay, maybe it doesn't have to be Frio related because I don't know if I have a...

Okay, I don't know why? I've gone Oreos. I've gone Oreos. So Andy's actually having, like, you know how sometimes you go to a wedding, and they have like a dessert table, like a dessert bar where it's just like all this sort of candy and like all sorts of fun stuff. So Andy's having that.

It's after lunch. It's been a light lunch served and then there's just like wheels out a candy table. And it's honestly amazing. He's got everything. Like stuff that you've forgotten about from your childhood. You're like, what the hell? I love that. He's got it.

Andy's got it. So thank you so much to Andy. Suzanne, Lisa, Chris, Mitchell, Will, Luke, Sean and Jacqueline. You are absolute legends. I'm sorry that your shout out has come just from me as I, you know, do my best. And the last thing that we need to do is welcome a few people into the Trip Ditch Club. We've got a few people today, two, four, six people being inducted into the Trip Ditch Club. I'm going to pull the curtain back a little bit.

What I've seen Dave do when he's coming up with a band is sometimes he will just like put the topic into Spotify and see what comes up. So far all that's coming up when I put in Chow Chil is of course other podcasts about this topic. Funnily enough, there have been heaps. But I have booked Ash Bricky, an artist who has a song called Chow Chow Choo. Tiller song. So I think I've saved that pretty good. Looking at some other stuff, Ash has done. I don't know. We'll see. Anyway, also, yes, we are doing peanut butter sandwiches today as well. I'm often, I'm behind the bar and I'm in charge of sort of snacks. That one feels a little insensitive, but I wasn't

on purpose. That's just sort of all that they had at the shops this week. Been sort of some food shortages and like lettuce was like $15 or something. So I didn't have, I didn't have a lot in the budget. So I just thought we could do some peanut butter sandwiches, but it does feel a little on the nose now. But yeah, not on purpose. So what we normally do here is Matt will read out a name. Dave will hype him up. I'll hype up Dave. Matt will say something mean. Dave and I'll tell him to fuck off. So how am I going to manage this? This is this? time. I can't read all the names and hype you. I'm going to do my best. I don't think this is going to go well. But let's give it a crack. Okay. Our first person that I'm welcoming into the

Triptitch Club, which I should explain, is for people who have supported the podcast on patreon.com forward slash do go on pod for three consecutive years, which is crazy. Like, what an amazing effort. And we thank them so much. We welcome them into this club. Once you're in, you cannot leave. You are in the club forever and you have access to the entire back catalog of drinks and food options. It's honestly, the menu is too big at this point. But you're welcome to it and that's your reward and we thank you. So firstly, I would love to thank from Address Unknown, Deep Within the Fortress of the Moles, DH. And I don't have a lot to go on for DH, but I'm going to say DH, dance harder.

Yes. Yes, from Endicott, New York. Austin Horst. My voice is going to be a little bit hoarse after screaming at Austin in a good way, because he's dancing so great. Thank you, Austin. From Bristol in the UK, I would love to thank Marisol Forbes. Add Marisol to the Forbes 30 under 30, because Marisol's awesome. Nailed it.

I would also love to thank from Pensacola, Florida? I've heard of Pensacola. I didn't know where it was. Pensacola thought. Anyway, Melissa Pissarcki. Melissa Pissarski. I'm going to pissarsky my pants. After all this Pensacola, I've been drinking.

I'm so sorry. I'm sure you've had that most of your life. And it's a bit of an eye roll for you. Sincere apologies. From Rustberg, VA. Vancouver? No. US.

V. V. Oh, God. That's going to drive me crazy. Rustberg, Rustburg, Virginia, Jessica, you stupid bitch. Of course it was Virginia. From Rusberg, Virginia, I'd love to thank Parker Riley. Well, Parker, right next to me. I've got some questions for you, Parker. Like, what's it like in Rustberg, Virginia? And finally, from Roseville, Minnesota, it's Jessica English. Um, the rose in my,

Thor, I'm the Thorn and you're the Roseville. Thank you so much to Jessica Park and Melissa Marisol, Austin and D.H. A pleasure to have you in the Trip Ditch Club. Sorry for my shit hyping. And that I think brings us to the end of another cracking episode. Thanks once again to Cass for just being an amazing guest, filling in, slipping in so easily into the pod. We love her and we appreciate her and we'll probably have her on again soon.

in the coming weeks. If you would like to suggest a topic, you can absolutely do so. There's a link in the show notes. It's also over on our website, do go onpod.com. And anybody can. You don't have to be a Patreon or support us. If you don't have the money to be a Patreon, we totally understand that. You can leave a review, leave a five-star review on Apple Podcast.

I think you can leave reviews on Spotify now. And tell a friend about it. That is how a lot of you have found the podcast, is through your friends talking about it. So do that for somebody else. We love you. We will see you again very soon. And until next week, I will say goodbye.

Ladies, bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never miss out.

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