Do Go On - 359 - What Happened To The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World?

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

We've all heard of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, but how many can you name? And what if I told you only one of them is still standing... So what the heck happened to the rest? Dave is back from his holiday to answer that question.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSee us live: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/  Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Check out our new merch! : https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ Watch out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:Discovery Channel Doco:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3RbnQlbyqw https://education.nationalgeographic.org/resource/seven-wonders-ancient-world http://www.amazeingart.com/seven-wonders/7-wonders.html https://www.britannica.com/list/new-seven-wonders-of-the-world Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club, April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at dogo1pod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right. I'm doing shows with Saren Jayamana, who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February, Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattstuartcomedy.com.

You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats, get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water.

We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. hello and welcome to another episode of do go on my name is dave fornicky and as always i'm here with matt stewart and jess perkins boy oh boy are we happy that you're back because we've had to do My name is Dave Fornicky and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. And boy oh boy are we happy that you're back because we've had to do that intro for the last little while.

And let me just say one of us is slightly better at it than the other but we both suck. But one sucks slightly more. That's correct yes and I won't say who but I did point. So Dave knows and the audience feel, knows as well. Yes, stop being so hard on yourself. You did a fine job, okay? I did my best, that's for sure. I've been listening back.

I've been loving it. I can enjoy the show as someone, as a listener. Oh, yeah, it's great when you're not on it. While I was away, I loved listening to the Chowchilla episode. Oh, yeah, that was a good one. Have you already forgotten that, Dave? That was your report. Yes. No, I remember them all.

That must be nice. That must be nice. And, yeah, I wake up thinking about that. It's been a few months since we've seen Dave. It's been about a month since Jess has seen me. I guess it's also been a couple of months since Dave has seen Jess and I. That's correct, yes. That all adds up, yes.

Does that cover everyone? It's been one week since you looked at me. I tried to hold back. I was going to say. But well done. But it's, yeah, so, I mean, for listeners, it will not have felt like we've missed a beat because, Dave, we had some fantastic guests in your stead.

Some absolute bangers, and I appreciate them stepping up and filling out these shoes so well that they're a bit big now. You left for not that long, and now the three longest ever episodes, I think, were recorded in your absence. Yeah. We need you. We need you to rein us in, Dave. I'm so excited to get this ep done in under an hour.

Let's get it done. Give me five minutes. Including Patreon. Hey, Dave, maybe because you've been away for a little while, I can explain to you how this show works. Please remind me. So one of the three of us, it's you this week, so hopefully you do remember that, goes away and researches a topic

usually suggested by a listener or listeners. And we'll go away. We'll research. We'll learn. We'll take it in. We'll soak it in. And then we'll write up a sort of an old school report, bring it back to the class, read it out. While the other two, politely listen without interruption. Certainly no tedious tangents or any such things.

No bad riffs. No silliness, that's for sure. If there's ever a bad riff, you better believe it gets edited out. Also, if we hear it. If you hear a riff, that means we think it was good. Or if you hear a riff that is bad, we're being ironic. Yes. Oh, that's a good point.

Or you're wrong. Yeah. You just don't get it. Ever thought about that? You just don't get it. I should also say the report giver is also the editor, so whatever's left in that's on Dave this week.

Dave, we normally start our reports with a question. Do you have a question to kick us off this week? Yes, I have not forgotten that, and here is my question for you. A super exciting, cool question, and that is the Great Pyramid of Giza is the only surviving member of what extremely cool club?

The Seven Wonders of the World. Correct, sir. Wow. Jess is mind blown. The Seven Pyramids of the World. It's the only, can you repeat the question? The Great Pyramid of Giza is the only surviving member of what extremely cool club? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon.

That's one. Is it really? That's another one. Sorry, the haze came down. And I'm sorry that I'm shocked that you know this. Keep going. I don't know if I know it. Is there one that's like Pink Steps or something?

No. The Pink Steps of Persia. Is that one? No. Okay, what have we got? The Garden of Eden. Okay, so it's multiple gardens. My Nana's Garden.

Of Eden. That was beautiful. Of East Bentley. So these are the seven ancient wonders of the world. Cool. Are there seven modern wonders? They are, which we will discuss. Oh, my God.

How exciting. They're all in Melbourne. The Rialto. Yeah. The beautiful. DeGraves Street. Oh, DeGraves. Marvel Stadium.

Marvel Stadium. Got that MCG. Coffee Culture. Coffee Culture. It's a little less tangible, that one, but it's there. Oh, you can feel it. Yeah, you can feel it. I'm sure it feels less tangible to, you know, outsiders.

Yes. You come to Melbourne, you're like, ooh, that is tangible. Because outsiders will be like, oh, we also do coffee, you know, very similar to this. And we're going, no, you don't. In a lame way. No, you don't. Yeah, yeah, in a lame way.

We start sweating. Yeah, we're like, oh, we've got a proper coffee machine. Please don't take this from us. We grind the beans, do you? This is strangely one of our things. We're very proud of it. Come on, next you're going to tell me that you're one of dozens of cities that have trams.

Yeah, that's right. And have many kinds of weather. You have multiple seasons. That's ours. What an identity. This topic, the seven ancient wonders of the world, has been suggested by Jack Godden, Blake Wild from Yuma,

Arizona, Peter Williams from Johannesburg, South Africa, and Jessica English from Mound, Minnesota. Mound. Mound. Fantastic. She's from Mound. Mound. Fantastic. Yeah. She's from Mound. I just recently. It's really tickled.

I want to put that on the golden mile. How far out of range is it from the great state of God's country, Ohio, Gary, Indiana, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania? Can I add it to the track? I'll give you a coordinate. It's from Gary, Indiana. It will take you. Here we go.

It is but a short seven-hour, nine-minute drive. Fantastic. Easy peasy. Golden mile. Yeah. Let's call it the golden baker's mile now. It's a little longer. That's better.

And I want to remind everyone everyone no tedious tangents or bad risk all right then don't worry about what i'm certainly no interrupting jess multiple times so she starts the sentence sorry jess i'll take this one no just jess here english recently part of it in the last couple of weeks was on the fact quote a question or a shout out after i spent a solid five minutes talking about how i didn't like to be called jessica and i could never find any novelty things that just said Jess. And then I was like, and the next is Jessica English. I'm sure you like it.

That's great. I just don't like it. So just an apology. I think Jessica's fantastic. I agree. Yeah. And she's from Mound. From Mound.

You think Mound is good? Yeah. Okay. Very close to Mound. I'm lost in the map now. In Minnesota, there's a place called Minnetonka. Oh. Minnetonka, Minnesota.

Yes, please. Oh, that's amazing. I'm moving to Minnetonka. Mound and Minnetonka, Minnesota. Yes. That's good stuff. They're my twin cities. They are both on the outskirts of the Twin Cities.

Or the Twin City of Minneapolis. So there you go. No, no. Mound and Minnetonka are now the Twin Cities. Or the Twin City of Minneapolis. So there you go. No, no. Mound and Minnetonka are now the Twin Cities. Fuck Minneapolis. Okay, so the so-called seven wonders of the ancient world were architectural and artistic feats scattered across the Middle East, North Africa, and Southern Europe.

At one stage or another, all seven. Forgotten where to pause. Don't forget how to talk. It's okay, bud. At one stage or another, all seven stood within the Greek Empire. In 336 BCE, Alexander the Great's conquests unified ancient Greece. Basically, he conquered all of the known world to him at the time from Greece all the way to northern India. And this brought together the civilizations of the Babylonians,

the Persians, the Egyptians, and of course, the Greeks. And now they were all under one ruler. People started to travel across the vast empire to do a bit of sightseeing, you know, to see what the other older cultures had to offer. And people started to put together what were essentially travel guides outlining the amazing must-see sites. According to Amazing Art, which is one of my favourite sources for this report, the Greeks did not initially conceive

of these monuments as wonders, but they used the Greek word themata, which means sites or things to be seen. Okay, yeah. But that doesn't sound quite as good. The seven ancient things to be seen of the world. Yeah, seven ancient sites. That's not too bad.

Seven ancient thematas, though. That's beautiful. That sounds good. That is nice. English ruins everything. Jessica English ruins everything. Jessica English ruins everything. Like the name Jess. Say it properly.

No, good on you, Jessica. Good on you. Good on you. You're doing a great job there. Maybe she doesn't mind Jess. Maybe she doesn't. Maybe she likes Jesse, which is psycho, but that's fine. Or Sika.

Sika. Yep. Or Aki Sej. It's an option. Aki Sej. Let's just go backwards. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Yeah.

There's debates as to where the list comes from. As many ancient writers across Europe and Middle East themselves debated the topic as to what the top seven were. History.com writes, the original list comes from a work by Philo of Byzantium written in 225 BC called On the Seven Wonders. That sounds pretty accurate. Pretty close to the bone here. But apparently Herodotus, often referred to as the father of history, apparently also wrote a list. And he was alive two centuries earlier.

But his writing on the subject doesn't survive, but it's been referenced in surviving works. So there's debate as to who came up with the list. According to archaeologists Peter Clayton and Martin Price, the list that we have today only became fixed in the Renaissance, so a long time after the fact. But a long time ago still. Yeah, that's still ages. That's so long ago.

Sure, it was 2,000 years after their time, but it's still 500 years before our time. Yeah. But generally what I'm trying to cover myself is the seven ancient wonders ages. That's so long ago. Sure, it was 2,000 years after their time, but it's still 500 years before our time. But generally, what I'm trying to cover myself is the seven ancient wonders of the world are generally accepted as being the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Pink Steps of Persia.

Do you have any other guesses, Jess? No idea. The Statue of Zeus at Olympia, the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus. The mausoleum at Halicarnassus. The Colossus of Rhodes. And finally, the lighthouse of Alexandria.

Wow. If we were to look at them on a modern atlas, two of the wonders were in Greece, two in Turkey, two in Egypt, and one in Iraq. But notice I said were. This episode is what happened to the seven ancient wonders of the world. You did kind of give that away when you said the geese was the only surviving one.

Hey, that was still exciting. No, I still, look, that's true. I still gasped. I gasped as well, but I wasn't sure why I did. Do you gasp at Jess gasping? Yeah, it's the same. If I'm watching people applaud, I applaud. Yeah.

Even if it's on TV. Oh, I do that too, but that's mostly from doing TV audience warm-up and I think I've dropped the bar. Oh, sorry, we're clapping, we're clapping. Oh, God. Do you say that when you do an audience warm-up? We're clapping, we're clapping. We're clapping, we're clapping.

And we're stopping, we're stopping. We're clapping, we're clapping. And we're stopping, we're stopping. We're wooing, we're wooing, madam. I haven't seen the project in a while, but it does pick up in the audience mics, you saying that? Oh, absolutely. The people at home otherwise don't realise that they're clapping. You've got to mic the audience warm-up, Guy. Yeah.

My mic's louder than the host's. And rapping there, Waleed. Now, I'm going to go through these in historical order when they were created okay so like chronological uh yeah yeah i guess that's another word for it but i prefer the greek historical i'm gonna go through this in historical order great uh the matter the made of the matter okay we'll go chronologically you're absolutely right absolutely right i'm never right The mate of the matter. Okay, we'll go chronologically.

You're absolutely right. Absolutely right. I'm never right. Do you have any idea which of the seven is the oldest? I'm going to say whichever one you're going to talk about first. And that is, amazingly enough, the only ancient wonder still standing is also the oldest. Really?

Wow, there you go. By a long, long way. Wow. I mean, this shows how much I don't understand time. Yeah. You know, history and stuff. Yeah, it's wild that that is older than everything else. Like the pyramids saw these other wonders come and go, still laughing. That's incredible.

That must feel really good to be that pyramid, just sitting there all smug. Yeah. Well, that's why it's a geezer. Sitting back, oh, yeah, these fucking things. What was that? No, I was getting into it.'s a geezer. Sitting back, oh, yeah, these fucking things. No, I was getting into it. That was a geezer. Hey, you fucking, oh, yeah, you got a bit of a statue there, do you?

Yeah, nice one, geezer. It's dropping. I'm staying. Here we go. Fuck off, you toilet, eh? Shut that fucking lid, you felt face fuck, you muppet fucker. We really lost you for a second there. It's amazing.

So they have sex with the Muppets. You felt-faced fucker. You felt-faced fucker. You Muppet fucker. You and Gonzo then, all right, eh? Tickle me, Elmo, you fuck. So the Great Pyramids of Giza are located at Giza On the west bank of the Nile River, north of Cairo in Egypt

Three pyramids of different height were constructed between 2575 and 2465 BCE Which is 4,500 years ago Wow It's a long 4,500 years ago. Wow. 4,500. Freaking hell. It's a long. 4,500. Wow. That's crazy. That was quite a while before the Saints won that one.

BFL-AFL Premiership in 1966. The good news is the Pyramids stood the test of time long enough to see that. Yes. Now they can let go. Yeah. That's right. Back into the sand. They're slowly letting go.

They're holding out just for one more. One more. And another 4,500 years ought to do it. Is the cat person involved? The Sphinx is very close by in the same precinct. Right, but was never seen as a wonder. No, not considered one of the wonders. But there's also debate as to how old that is.

Some people are like, this thing's 25,000 years old. It's not, but some people claim that. Because the aliens did it. Yeah. Yeah, wow. So each of the three pyramids are thought to have been built as a tomb for a different pharaoh. That's the predominant theory.

The largest pyramid, the northernmost and oldest of the group, was built for Pharaoh Khufu, also known in Greek as Cheops. The second king of the fourth dynasty, it's known as the Great Pyramid of Khufu. Not surprisingly. The Great Pyramid originally stood at 146.6 metres tall or 481 feet, meaning that it was unsurpassed as the tallest man-made structure in the world for approximately 3,800 years.

Wow. That is ridiculous. Isn't that wild? And it's actually debated whether it was the Eiffel Tower in 1889 or the Lincoln Cathedral Spire in England built in 1300 that unseated the pyramid. I mean, spires. I feel like spires.

Take them out of there. If you take the spire off, it wasn't until the Eiffel Tower that humans had made a tallest structure. That's wild! This is what happened to the Rialto. It lost its crown as the tallest building in Melbourne when, I'm not even going to name it because I can't even remember, but some other building

put a spire on the top. That doesn't freaking count. That can't go up it. That's uninspired architecture. Uninspired. But it's uninspired architecture. Uninspired. Well, it's inspired architecture, but it's uninspiring in my books. Yeah. That's good stuff.

It's a stick. It's a stick. It doesn't count. Who cares? We can all wave a flag on top of it. Look, I put a big stick on my head. Look at me. I'm the tallest woman in the world.

Oh, look. Jess is now 12 feet tall. Look at that. That's a big stick. That's a big stick. That's a big stick. Come on. It's too big, honestly. Jeez, that's an impressively big stick. That's a big stick. That's a big stick. Come on. Jeez, that's an impressively big stick you're holding in your head there, Jess.

That's the longest stick in the world. Have a look at that stick. I'd say that stick's the eighth one in the world. It's a beautiful stick. The length of each side of the Great Pyramid at the base averages 755 feet or 230 meters each side, meaning in total it covers an area of 13 acres. Whoa. This thing's big.

Yeah. And they really are an engineering marvel. Are you laughing because I floored? I was kind of laughing at Dave's. This is big. It's like, yeah, mate. Yeah, no, it's big stuff. You never get it.

You don't have to convince us. We agree. It's big. It's like, yeah, mate. It's big stuff. You don't have to convince us. We agree. But maybe we need to blow your mind with historian Mark Van de Miroop,

who puts the incredible construction into context. He wrote, We estimate that it contained 2,300,000 blocks of stone with an average of 2.75 tonnes for each stone, some weighing up to 16 tonnes. Khufu ruled 23 years according to the Royal Canon, which would mean that throughout his reign annually 100,000 blocks, which is daily about 285 blocks, or one every two minutes of daylight, had to be quarried, transported, dressed,

and put in place. Wow. Every two minutes they had to put a block in for 23 years. Khufu, what a madman. That sounds awful. You bet. Hey, you get them blocks ready. You get them ready.

Get them dressed. Get them quarried. We get them put in this big triangle thing up here. All right. Then we'll have a couple of points to knock off. We really lose him, but it's beautiful to watch. It's so, so beautiful. Just like any kind of manual labor like that, to me, oh, kill me.

If someone would say build this pyramid or die, I'd just lie down. I'd be like, just take me now, thank you. I'd move that every fucking two minutes. No, thank you. No, thank you. I'm more of like a sit at a desk yeah out a window in contemplation any admin need yeah to be done for some invoicing i must insist i need a standing desk yeah i do need to stand i'm an active person happy to like go to the gym and leg press yeah

obviously not active enough to move stone no no god no, no. God, no, God, no, God, no. But I do want to look after my spine. Jess, you'd be one of the first people picked at a big rock moving business. Well, that's what I mean. It's deceptive. People are like, you're strong, aren't you? You just lie on your back and you just sort of just kick the bricks. Yeah, I'm strong for like half an hour at a time. Well, I think we've done it in six.

Oh, God. Good work. Jess put a bullet in me. Half an hour on, half an hour off. No. Jess, you're hired. There's a spot over there. I don't want it.

We'll lie down there. We'll just put the blocks in front of you. Kick them into the pyramid. This is part of why I love the idea when people buy houses and do DIY projects themselves and self-renovate. I'm like, good for you, but apps are fucking literally not. Never in a million years. You know you can pay people to do that, right? you, but abso-fucking-lutely not. Never in a million years. You know you can pay people to do that, right?

Oh, God. Oh, I don't want to do anything. What do you call it when there's some term they say when it's ready to go? Is there a term? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you mean. There was a period during lockdowns where I watched so many house shows,

but all that knowledge is now gone. I know what you mean, though. But there would always be a couple looking for a house and one of them's like, hey, I'd prefer to, you know, we could save a bit of money and have a do-it-yourself place. And the other one's like, I want it to be G2G. Yeah. But I can't remember what the term was.

Me either. I don't know what you mean. It was a housey term. Like the most I'd do is paint. And even then I'd be like, oh, God, somebody else do it. I'll make sandwiches. Painters need sandwiches. I'll put the kettle on.

You please just do the painting. Like right now I'd paint a wall for a sandwich and a cup of tea. Great. Come on over. And the good news, Jess, is they'll put it in place every two minutes and it wasn't like they just threw them down anyway. They were put in place with extreme precision. All four sides are accurately oriented to the four cardinal points

of the compass and they are aligned north-south with an accuracy of up to 0.05 degrees. Wow. Wow. That's pretty accurate. It's really accurate. The funny thing is when they set out to make this thing, it was meant to be a barn but they they failed but they failed beautifully yeah people were like where's the door

oh barns have doors how do you get the chaos in the biggest enduring mystery of the pyramids is how were they built? A question that is still debated. The Greeks believed the pyramids, this is a long time later, they thought that pyramids were built with slave labour. Although evidence uncovered in the 20th century shows workers living on site and this as well as other evidence led to many to dispute this fact and instead most experts proposed the pyramids were actually built

by highly skilled labourers. Right, and they only know that because somebody was keeping a spreadsheet of all the... At a standing desk. And that, you know, you need those people as well. You need those people. Happy to be that person, you know. You need a day off for a wedding, funeral, whatever,

you come and see Jess. She schedules it for you, You know, no worries. Jess English, are we talking about? Yeah, Jessica English. You're telling me the Great Pyramid of Giza had an HR department. Surely. There you go. How do you manage that many people without HR?

Are you kidding me? Dave, you've been a bit unrealistic here, mate. Come on, mate. I thought you would tell them the story. People still wonder, getting back to the story, how did they move millions of stone blocks weighing up to 16 tons? One common explanation is they may have used a ramp. Simple explanation.

A sloping and encircling embankment of brick, earth and sand, which was increased in height and length as the pyramid rose. And then the stone blocks were possibly hauled up the ramp by means of sledges, rollers and levers. And people with very strong legs. I love people having a guess like this. Yeah. Probably a ramp.

Scissor lift. Yeah. Yeah, probably. They probably just went to Kennards higher. Probably just got an ogre to move them around. They're very strong. Small giants. There was a bridge nearby, so it could have been an ogre.

It was already there when they got there. So it was easy. They're like, oh, yeah, great. Sweet. I'll leave it as is. Oh, this is move-in ready. What is that fucking? What is it?

What is it? People are probably yelling at their iPods right now. I can't think of the term either. I think it probably is like move-in ready. Yeah. You know? There's probably no real term. Is the term perfect when they say this place is perfect yes yeah maybe there is there no term

anyway dave please do go on uh one of the reasons people point to things like aliens and supernatural powers building the pyramids is there isn't any recorded evidence of how they built them there's no plans or inscriptions describing the build or the process or something like that but the reality is that's probably because they were built by Egyptians using technological means, which most likely was so common at the time and so basic to them they felt no need to record them. They're like, yeah, of course that's how we build it. We don't need to write down how we built it because that's what we do.

It's obvious. It's funny how yeah you kind of well i always thought you know time as time moves on we evolve better ways of doing things we get smarter and stuff you know then hearing from different history podcasts and stuff that there were big dips in oh yeah it's not like it doesn't move in one direction. Yeah, it's not linear, but, you know, like, wasn't it the aqueducts? Like, there was this very advanced stuff the Romans were using, if I'm remembering this right, and then, you know, not many generations later, they're all in ruins and people are like,

how the fuck do you use these things? They're like, we don't know how to fix that. How do you fix that? So funny. So they may have just been extremely advanced that's why again why it's important to have someone taking notes yeah yeah i can do that you can write down how what are you how are you doing what you're doing yeah explain it to me i'll write that down document the process yeah they might be the only surviving ancient wonders but they have not survived intact

by any means i actually did not realize this but when originally constructed the great pyramids which we all know what they look like they were cates exactly yeah and they're like you know there's blocks stacked on top of each other yeah but they're actually cased in smooth white limestone over the top oh it's like rendered yeah and precisely worked blocks were placed in horizontal layers and carefully fitted together with mortar their outward faces cut at a slope and smooth to a higher degree so it was all flat and smooth i was gonna make a joke at the start of like how how many times drunken they've had to repaint or re-render yeah but it really was yeah they were covered in a smooth that's interesting white rock go to ruin a disappointing, actually. Who's there looking after it?

If I, you know, I remember the mummy. Wasn't there a whole group of people who were meant to be there looking after it? Someone dropped the ball. Someone in HR. Yeah. There was that hunk on horseback. Horseback hunk. He dropped the ball.

Credited as. Oh, God. Horseback hunk. The outer surface of the casing stones were finally polished, so the pyramid shimmered in the bright sun and was visible for miles around. So they already look incredible, but they must have looked amazing. They're like shimmering. Shimmering in the desert sun.

That's cool. Over the centuries, the limestone fell away and was later utilised as building material for the city of Cairo, and that is a common occurrence with these wonders. People go, yeah, no, I need that to build something else. So they just take down, you know, a beautiful structure. Small bits of it can still be seen on the ground around the Great Pyramid, though. The pyramid was also once topped by a capstone known as,

this is also a new word for me, a pyramidion. Pyramidian. Pyramidian. Pyramidian. The capstone on top of a pyramid. It's like a little pyramid hat. Yeah. Pyramidian. I loveidian. Pyramidian. The capstone on top of a pyramid. It's like a little pyramid hat. Yeah. Pyramidian.

I love it. That's cute. It's not 100% known what this was made of. It could have been limestone, granite or basalt, but some speculate it was made of gold. Yeah, that's what I'm imagining. On top of a white shimmering gold on top. It would have looked so good.

It would have looked like a little gold nipple. Yeah. That would have been cute. I would have done it with just like corrugated iron, maybe in a Calabon steel or whatever. That stuff lasts. It lasts. It looks great.

You know, you're watering the garden, you get distracted by it. That's how good it looks. Yeah. If the ads are to be believed. Because you're in love with your fence. Yeah. God, that's a good fence. I love my fence.

And just, you know, when you're inside there, you fence. Yeah. God, that's a good fence. I love my fence. And just, you know, when you're inside there, you know, mummified or whatever, that beautiful sound of rain on the tin roof. Oh, my God. The rain's in here. Nothing better than that. When you can't get to sleep and it starts raining, you're like, here we go. It's like a massage for your ears. Yeah, give me five minutes.

I'll be in snoozeville. Yeah, but then it gets a little too heavy. And you're like, shut the fuck up. Is that thing going to hold? Yeah. Is this pyramidion going to hold? It's fun, isn't it? But all in all, with these losses,

the pyramid is now about eight metres shorter than it was when it was intact. How impressive is it then? It was even taller. That happens as you age. You lose about eight metres. Yeah, Grandma, she used to be nine metres. Now she's only one. Apparently the term is move-in ready.

I was thinking it was going to be more satisfying than that. I'm sorry. I'd love to know what combination of words you search for that. Okay, I can tell you. Real estate word for when it's ready to move into. When place is good to go. I search term meaning house's ready to move into. When place is good to go. I searched term meaning house is ready to move in. No renovation required.

And Google said, did you mean move in ready? Yeah. You're like, huh, I suppose I did. I get it. There you go. I was thinking it was going to be more satisfying than that, but fine. Great to disagree. All three pyramids were plundered both internally and externally in ancient and medieval times.

The only remaining object in the king's chamber, because remember, it's supposed to be a burial place. He's a king. He is. He's not there. Oh, my God. Rude. It's a sarcophagus made out of a single hollowed out granite block. But when it was rediscovered in the early Middle Ages, it was found broken and any contents had been removed.

Someone had nicked him. They'd nicked him. Surely that's not the bit to nick. Yeah. The corpse. If you don't want to be cursed forever. Yeah. I guess it depends on what you're into.

Some people, sure, that's probably the exact thing they'd want to steal. For me, it'd be that big bit of granite. Oh, yeah. I know what you could do with that. Make a bench. Yeah. Beautiful. Oh, beautiful. Beautiful. Get a could do with that. Make a bench. Yeah. Beautiful. Oh, beautiful.

Beautiful. Get a few kitchen tops out of that. Gorgeous. Or just the biggest kitchen top in the world. Yeah. I mean, if you're the kind of person who doesn't need a move-in ready house and you want to do a few of your own personal touches, maybe a sarcophagus kitchen top granite top would be beautiful.

They're on Grand Designs. They're like, as you can see here, Kevin, we've actually imported a Pyramidian from the ancient Egypt pyramid. And Kevin automatically knows exactly what they're talking about. He knows everything. He's like, oh, yes, of course. Despite not being a qualified architect myself, I will critique the architecture of this building.

Kevin, you used to create theatre sets. That's your job. Well, that doesn't take a certain creative ability. Doesn't it feel like Dave's been holding onto that for a while? Dave's been watching a lot of Grand Designs. I love it though. I love him. I love it. I love when he's negative

and I love 45 minutes later when I know he's going to be positive. Love it. He's always like, they're never going to do it. I can't believe they did it. Wow, they did it. So the afterlife was a big deal for the Egyptians and it was supposed to house the pharaoh's remains forever. So putting a massive marker on top of your burial spot

actually kind of backfired. It may be the reason why they stopped building pyramids and instead started being buried in a distant valley carved into rock, hidden away, now known as the Valley of the Kings. Sadly for them, most of them have since been found too, but it's how Tutankhamun was able to lie in peace until 1920. Wow. That is such a long time. Hot for tart.

Hot for tart. So we're going to find him eventually, you know. Got to. A man with that kind of aura Just get his vibe Oh yeah Worldhistory.org writes that although the Great Pyramid of Giza And the other smaller pyramids, temples, monuments And stuff around it

Continued to be respected throughout Egypt's history The site fell into decline after the Roman occupation And then annexation of the country in 30 BCE. At this time, they were already 2,600 years old. There's that often circulated fact that Cleopatra lived closer to the launch of the iPhone than she did to the building of the Great Pyramids, and she lived around this time. So it's true.

Wow. Isn't that wild? The site was more or less neglected until Napoleon's Egyptian campaign of 1798, during which he brought along his team of scholars and scientists to document ancient Egyptian culture and monuments. Napoleon's work in Egypt attracted others to the country who then inspired still others to visit, making their own observations and conduct their own excavations. And the peoples of Europe's fascination with Egypt really kicked off in the 19th century. And you used to be able to climb the Great Pyramid, but nowadays it's highly illegal and trespass can result in jail time,

although that doesn't stop people from sneaking around the guards at night. Danish photographer Andreas Hivid caused great controversy in 2018 when he published a photo of himself having sex with a woman on top of the pyramid. On the nipple. On top of the nipple. He later clarified that the lady in the photo was a model and it just

looked like they were doing it. Oh, it's okay. She was a model. She's allowed to have sex anywhere. She's hot. But the Egyptian government were very pissed. How high is the pyramid again? It's in the

300 metre high club or something. It doesn't feel like the easiest place to bang. On the tip? Yeah. Yeah. Probably not. Why can't it just be a selfie on it? Why do you have to be...

Anyway, yep. What a cool guy. It's not cool to bang a model on the top of the pyramid well okay the idea of what's cool has changed in my time obviously i can't think of anything cooler than banging a model on the top of the fucking pyramid sounds like the coolest guy of all time just like Oh banging a model on the top of a pyramid What a loser Fucking hell I missed his name

Was it James Dean? Who was this guy? Andreas I don't know People that came to Egypt in the 9th century Said man fears time And time fears the pyramids because they've been around for so long and hopefully they'll last for many more thousands of years

that's a fun quote so that's the only surviving and I've done the most research on that because there's so much information on it because it's still there did you get close because you got to northern Africa on your recent trip? yes closest I've ever been but I have not been to the pyramids.

But we flew over on the way there. That's cool. I was sitting on a wing, so I didn't get to see them out the window. But you were boning at the time as well, so it's hard to look out the window. No, it looks like I was boning. I wanted everyone to think that, but I wasn't. Oh, sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. You certainly weren't boning.

Even it, like that was an opportunity for him to be like Yeah I was and he was still like no no He's too honest I'm in the mile high posing As if you're having sex club That's more exclusive Yeah that's true It's easier just to do it

I just want to appear like I'm doing it At all times Hey get the captain down here I want him to see like I'm doing it. At all times. Hey, get the captain down here. I want him to see something. Perspective tricks. You're actually three metres apart from each other. All right, moving on from the most famous of the seven wonders to probably the second most well-known,

but also the most controversial. Is that the other one I've heard of? Yeah, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. It sounds very nice. The pictures of it are amazing. Yes, but it's controversial because they might never have existed. Whoa. And when I say pictures, I mean drawings.

There's no photos. I don't know it at all. I'm going to look up the photos. Look up this amazing art inspired by it. The gardens were said to have been built in the ancient city of Babylon near the royal palace in what is present-day Hillah in Iraq. They were possibly built by the Babylonian king Nebuchadnezzar II. Oh, he's a famous one.

Yeah. Nebuchadnezzar. Great name. Very good name. Around 600 BC, meaning that they are 2,000 years younger than the pyramids. Wow. And they're the second oldest, apparently. Isn't that ridiculous?

So that's why they're laughing when they're like, we should probably be in our own category. Yeah. Yeah, there must have been so many that came and went in the meantime. 2,000 years of human history. It's so funny. They're like, yeah, we're just building a thing we build, not realizing that they're building it in such a perfect way that it outlasts

forever. The story goes for the Hanging Gardens that the king built the Towering Gardens to ease his lover Amethyst's homesickness for the natural beauty of her home in Medea, northwestern Iran. At the time, Nebuchadnezzar II was seen as one of the most powerful rulers in the world. Had a lot of clout, had a lot of cash. What do you want?

What do you want? What do you want? Sex on top of a pyramid You want to be cool To appear that you have sex on top of a pyramid So what do we got? We got money, clout, sex on a pyramid In what order though? In what order?

That doesn't make sense Because we started that conversation off the podcast Yeah, we were talking about clout and sex off the podcast. We have some weird combos. We think of hanging gardens, what you probably do, I do, as meaning hanging in like basket type things. Yeah, that is what I was thinking. But the name is actually derived from the Greek word chromastos,

meaning overhanging and probably refers to gardens on raised structure like a terrace. Yep. That kind of. Beautiful. Like you're in the gardens up above you. But it's not all hanging. Gorgeous.

The gardens were said to have been planted as high as 75 feet in the air. So high up. On huge square brick terraces that was laid out in steps like a theatre. This would mean they would have had to have had an incredibly complex irrigation system for the plants to survive the conditions of their area. According to History.com, though there are multiple accounts of the gardens in both Greek and Roman literature, none of them are firsthand and no mention of the gardens

have been found in Babylonian inscriptions. And you'd think if you had something that cool, you'd probably tweet about it. You'd inscribe something, wouldn't you? You know what I mean? Yeah. Surely. Surely.

Surely. Because of this, the Hanging Gardens remain the only one of the seven wonders for which the location has not been definitely established. So we're not sure what happened to them or if they're completely fictional. Whoa. Although archaeologists continue to search.

So who knows, this time next year they'll probably be in the news as being discovered as they always are. Because we, I don't know, there's something magic in our drinking water and we keep talking about things just before there's news about them. Any day now people have been searching for 2000 years. They're going to find it. So they've been the great subject for artist impressions over the years and like we were saying before, if you look it up on an image search,

there's some beautiful. Stunning. Palatial gardens there. I would guess that somebody's tried to create that in The Sims. Definitely. Or like Minecraft. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Absolutely.

And it's probably beautiful. Wow. For those little Sims to enjoy. Get them in the pool. And you're thinking, like, it's got to have a great irrigation system. I reckon you just water at the top. Oh, yeah. It just seeps down.

It's trickle-down economics 101. Yeah, it's not that hard, mate. Bit of water for the big guys, bit of water for the little guys. Bit of water for the little guys. Thank you very much. Have all the generational wealthy plants up the top. The beautiful ferns. You got the weeds down the bottom.

There'll be some for us any second now, guys. Here we go. You think of yourself as a weed. Yeah. The third oldest of the ancient wonders takes us to Greece itself to visit the statue of Zeus at Olympia. This statue was erected around 435 BC, having been commissioned by the aliens, custodians of the Olympics.

Aliens? Oh my gosh. It's so close. Jess, have you just cracked this case wide open? And these aliens are also custodians of the Olympic Games. It all makes sense. Rog? Does that include Rog?

What's his name? It's Rog. Rog. What's Rog? It's Rog. Wasn't Rog one of the Olympic boss guys? The mascot? Rog?

Rog. I'm sure there was a guy called Rog. Have we not talked about Rog before? I don't think. I don't remember Rog. Rog. I'm sure there was a guy called Rog. Have we not talked about Rog before? I don't remember Rog. Rog. There's Dick Pound. Oh, Dick Pound. I mean, how did he go past Dick Pound?

Is that who you meant when you said Rog? No, what did I? The vice president of the International Olympic Committee, Dick Pound. Is that who you meant? Oh, Dick Pound's fantastic. Why am I thinking of someone called Rog? I'm just remembering Roy and HG when they used to do Olympic shows. I'm sure they kept banging on about someone called Rog.

Have I made that up? It's possible. That's funny. If I knew how to spell Rog, I'd be at a better chance. But anyway. I don't see how there's too many options in how to spell Rog. Oh, okay. Jacques Rog.

Jacques Rog. Jacques Rog. R-O-G-G-E. President from 2001 to 2013. Jacques Rog. What a reference. Do you think he's an alien? Do you think Rog and Pound are aliens?

Dick Pound. Jacques Rog. And what are the Olympic rings if not a little map of somewhere for the aliens to land? Yeah. What are they? Why are you asking me that? If not a map of somewhere for the aliens to land, what are they?

Can I just say? How else can you explain it? I rest to my case. No further questions. I thought it was going to make some sense when you started it, but it didn't. What else could they be? What else could they be?

What else could they be, Matt? Obviously, there's a space for the blue aliens, the green aliens. There's a space for them all. They're all welcome. You know what? You've turned me around. I can't argue against that. It's actually beautiful when you put it like that.

So the statue of Zeus, it was commissioned by the aliens, custodians of the Olympics. Now, we all know about the Olympic Games, but at the time, these are the ancient games, of course, they weren't the only cities holding games. And competition was fierce, not just on the field, but also between the games and their host cities. So there was the Commonwealth Games as well.

Pretty important big games. Most of the world, not just Australia, who wins a lot of medals for the only time. Yeah, we beat some people. And Canadians do well as well. Let's not. Yeah. And the New Zealanders. But it is good when America's not there.

It does make it a little easier. It makes it a bit easier. You can take out America, China and Russia. Yeah. We're looking good. We're looking good. That does help a little. You know, population wise, we're a lot smaller.

Yeah. I mean, think about that for a second. Factor that in. Factor that in. That's also part of Melbourne's culture. Everyone here is an Olympian. Yeah. Everyone.

There's not enough of us otherwise. Dave's an Olympic chess player and we're very proud of him. That's how we all know Andrew Gaze. That's why he's one of our mates. Yeah, Gaze-y. Because we all know each other because we're all Olympians here. All in the village. Yeah.

So like I said, the aliens were the custodians of the Olympic games. And seeking to outdo their rivals, they hired sculptor Phidias to recreate a statue or to create a statue of Zeus in the newly constructed Temple of Zeus. No relation. Pure coincidence. Phidias was well known having previously constructed the massive statue of Athena Parthenos in the Parthenon in Athens.

No relation. No relation. But this new commission was next level. Zeus, the god of the sky and chief deity of ancient Greek mythology, was depicted sitting on an elaborate cedar wood throne ornamented with ebony, ivory, gold, and many precious stones. Living together in perfect harmony. Absolutely.

And despite being seated, he was still 13 meters or 42 feet tall and filled the full height of the temple. It kind of looked, it said it looked like if he stood up, he would take the roof off. Whoa. So you can't, that's uncomfortable. If you can't stand. Never stand.

Yeah. Oof. Don't love that. No standing desk there. Take the roof off. It took eight years to construct. On his outstretched right hand was a statue of Nike, goddess of victory. And in the god's left hand was...

Just do it. Just... I hate myself. And in the god's left hand was a puma shoe. Puma pants. A pair of puma pants. I was going to say Adidas, but I know that freaks out American listeners when we say it like that.

Adidas. Have you got a picture there, Matty? Yeah. I mean, I'm guessing there's just different artistic. Oh, yeah. Yes. There's a lot of. I'll be posting on our social media one a day, I think, of the.

Great. Because that would be a week's worth. Exactly. Because the fact is, the fact that they built it on wood might be part of the reason why it doesn't exist anymore. It feels like big stone multi-ton rocks was the way to go with the pyramids. Yeah, keep it going because that stuff doesn't burn.

Zeus himself was made from ivory. As in like elephant tusks? Yeah, that kind of stuff, which they amazingly shaped. Wow. They put together many, many pieces of it. A lot of elephant blood was spilt. Yes, it's kind of awful to imagine. But moving on.

Ivory was used for his flesh and he was draped in gold, solid gold. To protect the ivory, it was constantly coated in olive oil, which is kind of weird. So he's oily. He's always oily. And he sat above a small pool of oil so it didn't spill into the rest of the building. I use that excuse as well.

People are like, why are you oiling yourself up? Oh, it's to preserve me or whatever. Preserve the ivory. The ivory. Stop asking. People are so rude. I'm sorry to keep asking you while you're dousing yourself in oil. Extra virgin.

Sorry, Dave, I borrowed your oil. Hey, I wasn't finished with that. What are you doing with it? No questions. You don't want to know. And I tell you what, the people on the Jetstar flight were not amused. The oil was getting in the chairs. Got it.

I was slipping off the seat. Very hard to. It's hard to clean. Very hard to clean. Very hard to get in the club up there when you're so slippery. No one can get a grip on you. Yeah, it looked like I was having sex, but really I was slipping all over the place. So he actually was above a pool of oil that held it

and that actually reflected his image and made it look even bigger. Wow. It's a constant oil. Weird. I mean, yeah, I guess the fact that it's a sculpture and not a real person makes it a bit better. But if I was a real person just constantly being covered in oil, sitting in a pool of oil, I would like that.

Sounds like living a dream. Oh. Be personally. Be personally. Okay. Yeah, the sad thing is to think about all the olives whose blood was spilt in the making of that. Yes.

Kind of awful to imagine, but moving on. According to legend, the sculptor Phidias asked his creation, Zeus, for a sign of his approval after finishing the statue. Soon after, the temple was struck by lightning. Oh, my God. I was going to joke that it was struck by lightning. Oh, no, it was. But I was imagining that the sculpture is struck by lightning

and destroyed. And he's like, thank you, Zeus. He likes it. He likes it. Wow. Yeah, you'd take that, wouldn't you? Sure. Or maybe that's him saying, I hate it.

Yeah. You fucked my nose. Yeah. I don't like that at all. It's a very tricky way to communicate. Yeah. Give me a sign. How about just send me a text?

Yeah. She can make the sign like in words so I can read it. Yeah, or like an emoji, like a thumbs up. Oh, yeah. Make it nice and clear. But he sends down a thumb from up and, you know, it could land it lands could be up could be down oh yeah you have to have like an arrow pointing up saying this way up or like a line underneath it like when you do a six or a nine that will help zeus if you're listening these are just some things you could do to improve

the system or we just sent down the numbers 69 you're like like, he thinks it's nice. He thinks it's good. He thinks it's nice. Same for both of us. Despite the acclaim for his work, Phidias the sculptor wasn't able to avoid controversy and plotting from enemies who accused him of stealing gold from the statue of Athena at Parthenos that he created earlier. Are you a successful artist unless people, unless it's controversial? Unless people accuse you of stealing gold?

Yeah. Then it's like, that's how you know you've made it, as an artist. Yeah. It's not stealing, it's being spied by. That's right. I steal like an artist. Yeah. He was able to disprove the accusations,

but was later imprisoned for impiety for including portraits of Pericles and himself on the shield of Athena Athena on the Athena Parthenos. They were like, are you comparing yourself to the gods by putting yourself on there? He's like, that's kind of my signature. This is almost certainly politically motivated as these people didn't like him. And it's not sure if he ended up just dying in prison. That's a tough situation where, yeah, they could just make up any rule. Yeah.

And go, no, we don't like you so um yeah you're going to prison because you made zeus's hair yellow yeah and that's wrong that's wrong that's disrespectful to zeus we all know his hair is brown yeah you made this little toe quite small yeah you're trying to imply he's weak he's actually got the biggest little toe yeah like it's weird it's bigger than his big he actually doesn't have a little toe quite small. Yeah. You trying to imply he's weak? He's actually got the biggest little toe. Yeah. Like it's weird. It's bigger than his big toe. He actually doesn't have a little toe. He's just got five big toes on his feet.

He's just got toes. Finding footwear is a nightmare. Yeah. That's why he wears sandals. Don't you know anything about Zeus? Come on. Can't do close toes. Nothing will hold those bad boys in.

So Phidias had a horrible end, but despite this, his statue lived on for 800 years. That's pretty good. Pretty good. In AD 379, Roman Emperor Theodosius I came to power. He was a Christian ruler and decreed that all pagan non-Christian practices must cease. The temples were closed and the Olympic Games were shut down in 393.

So he killed the Olympics. What a dog. It's said that the maniacal Roman Emperor Caligula, whose antics I've done a full episode on, ordered that the statue be brought to Rome so he could have the head chopped off and replaced with a sculpture of his own. I was going to say, if it was just about cutting the head off, just do that there.

Don't bring the whole sculpture across. But I understand he wants the hot body for himself. So he can be like, this is me. Yeah, my freakishly big toes. These toes are huge. But I don't have yellow hair. Cut that head off.

But Caligula was assassinated before that could happen, so probably just as well. He was crazy. According to legend, though, when the workers built the scaffolding to remove the statue for Caligula, it let out a great laugh and destroyed all the scaffolding. So, ha, ha, ha. That sounds right.

Do you think that's a great laugh, Dave? Give us a great laugh, Matt. That was great. That was great. I get that. That was great. Dave, yours was a bit shit, actually. Like when I used to play Santa at Christmas parties when I was 19 and I'd go, ho, ho, ho, and then people would say,

oh, Santa's a bit Scottish this year and I'd be like fuck off grandma. How are you saying ho ho ho? Merry Christmas. That's so weird. Yeah anyway. I've been Scottish. Are you saying haggis in between? Haggis for you dear boy.

William Wallace was my dad. What? I'm from Glasgow. I'm from Glasgow, eh? Wee jobbies. Wee. Oh, that is a bit Scottish. A bit Scottish, yeah?

I don't know, that's fair enough. Is that all the case? No worries, Nana. I was draped in a Scottish flag. So that's the story that it laughed off the scaffolding, like you'll never move me, which is great, until you learn the statue of Zeus was eventually successfully moved to a temple in Constantinople,

where it is believed to have been destroyed in a fire around the year 462, probably because it had a bit of wood there. You're right, Matt. It's basically been built on kindling. Yeah. Ready to go. Ready to go. Sadly, no accurate copies survive.

We only know what it looks like based on ancient Greek descriptions and representations on coins. But some say it was the most revered of all the ancient wonders. Apparently it was amazing. Yeah, cool. That's pretty sad that it had to go. Yeah. All good things, huh?

All good things. Speaking of which, next up is the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, which was located on the western coast of Asia Minor, which is in modern-day Turkey. It was built in the 6th century BCE, so similar time, and was a Greek temple dedicated to an ancient local form of the goddess Artemis. It's also known as the Temple of Diana,

as Diana is the Roman equivalent of Artemis. Artemis. What do we know about Artemis? Diana's always pictured with the hounds. Is Artemis foul anything thought Diana's always pictured with the hounds. Oh, yeah. Is Artemis Fowl anything? Does that mean anything? Oh, Artemis Fowl, yes.

That's like a young adult novel series. Okay. I don't know why that's in my head. Any relation? Any relation? Yes. Jess, did you read Artemis Fowl? Yeah.

No. Well. But I worked in a bookshop, so I can confirm it is a book. Okay. Read Artemis Fowl? Yeah No Well But I worked in a bookshop So I can confirm it is a book Okay You worked in a bookshop? Which one? I worked at Dimmicks

Wow Yeah For like a couple of years maybe Nice one Did you ever write one of those recommendations? Yeah, yeah, yeah Book talkers Shelf talkers

Oh, right on I think I did, yeah What were you recommending? Not Artemis Fowl, obviously. Probably really good stuff, I reckon. I don't remember. You just liked the Bible. Loved it.

Loved it. From Jess. Big fan. Twist at the end. You'll never see it coming. You'll never believe. According to the internet, wikipedia.org, which is a great website I've just stumbled upon,

in ancient Greek mythology and religion, Artemis is the goddess of the internet, wikipedia.org, great website I've just stumbled upon. In ancient Greek mythology and religion, Artemis is the goddess of the hunt, the wilderness, wild animals, nature, vegetation, childbirth, care of children, and chastity. There's a bit of a contradiction later. Childbirth and chastity. Multiple portfolios that contradict each other. She was heavily identified with Selene, the moon, and Hecate, later, childbirth and chastity. She's got multiple portfolios that contradict each other. She was heavily identified with Selene, the moon, and Hecate,

another moon goddess, and was thus regarded as one of the most prominent lunar deities in mythology alongside the aforementioned two. There you go. There you go. The hunting one, that makes sense Why she's often got dogs with her Right And fowl? Chickens? Where do they come in?

She smelled terrible So it's the Temple of Artemis Is what we're talking about And it was massive Measuring 350 by 180 feet Or 110 by 55 metres Which for scale Makes it twice the size

Of the Parthenon in Athens. Wow. It had 126 40-foot marble columns and was heralded with incredible artwork. It was so magnificent it caused Philo of Byzantium to say, I have seen the walls and hanging gardens of ancient Babylon, the statue of Olympian Zeus, the Colossus of Rhodes, the mighty work of the high pyramids

and the tomb of Mausolus. But when I saw the temple at Ephesus rising to the clouds, all these other wonders were put in the shade. Wow. So cop that. So he had seen the Hanging Gardens, supposedly. Supposedly. And I'd also just told you that people said that Zeus was the best one and he just said, that sucks.

Wow. Get out of here, Zeus. Get me here. They've all got their fans. So far. The architect behind the temple was Cheris Fron. I'm certainly saying that incorrectly. The building had many lintels, which are horizontal structural beams

that extend over an opening like between the height of a door or a window, keeps the wall at the top. In this case, they connected the marble columns. They're a nightmare if you're trying to put a wall split air conditioner on in like a multi-storey apartment building. Steel windows, you can't drill through those. You're dreaming. Or you can, but, you know, it's going to be pretty spendy.

Yeah, right. Which is a term Dave taught me means expensive. A little bit spendy. A bit spendy. Americans say it apparently. You pick up on your travels. A bit spendy. How about this on my travels with Americans?

I'm in Amsterdam. I'm waiting a long time for a lift with three other American ladies because their friend is, like, you know, coming through the lobby and I'm over a minute we're waiting for it. I'm coming, I'm coming, she's yelling. Not in that context. No one was singing in that concert. As soon as I said that, I was like, all right,

I can see why she was taking a minute. Why was she taking so long to walk over to the lift? Get into the lift and then she gets in, the door's closed and one of them says to me, oh, are you enjoying your trip so far? And I said, so far so good. Having a pretty good, no, having a good time. Then I get to my level and I get out and I hear one of them say to the other, oh, I guess some people just don't understand american kindness and then the door closed i was perfectly below so far so good i'm having a good time wait what were you supposed to do i

don't know what was the american kindness i don't understand i don't. Making you wait ages and then saying, are you enjoying your trip? Yeah, and me saying, pretty good. Yeah, I am. Thank you. They just thought you were a bit, maybe you were a bit gruff or something. Yeah, maybe you were supposed to ask them. You didn't ask them. Oh, yeah.

I didn't have time. We'd already waited five minutes in the lift. Far out. Dave, I didn't realize you were a rude boy. Yeah. I know you love Scar, but I didn't realize you were a rude boy. I know you love Scar, but I didn't realize you were a rude boy. With apologies to anyone who does understand American kindness. Apparently I do not.

That's just pretty disappointing to hear that about you, Dave. Sorry, everyone. But back to the lintels. I talk about it because it was so complicated to do. The architect contemplated suicide when lowering them in because he was so stressed about it. Oh, my God. Jesus. But the way they did it was quite ingenious they ended up lowering the lintels into place by stacking

them on top of bags of sand and then slowly letting out sand at the bottom until they filled perfectly the gap between the the columns and then they're like great wow that's clever obviously they didn't have cranes or anything like that so they just got a lower lower lower or like modern cranes anyway lower lower lower bang they had the birds yeah many birds that sounds very clever and yeah great and then i saw they're in morocco and they are huge really and they build nests on top of anything and i think they're sort of seen as like a bit of a sacred bird so no one ever moves them away. A bit lucky. And the nests are big enough for like a human could get inside it.

Wow. Did you try? Yes, I did. Wow. Have you been adopted by the Cranes? I have. Wow. Fraser.

Fraser Craig. Yes. It's a big Airbnb industry over there, crane nests. Get in. Wow. There you go. Poor old Sheriff's Front didn't quite get to see all of his labours, though, because it took 50 years to build this temple.

He died before its completion, and his son Metagenes had to complete the construction. But the temple had quite the history of all of them, probably has the most chequered history. It stood for nearly 200 years, but then along came a guy called Herostatus. Hero by name, hero by nature. Or so he thought.

Okay. What a rollercoaster. Herostatus was desperate for fame. I want people to know. Aren't we all? On the 21st of July, 356 BC, which legend has it is the day Alexander the Great was born, Herostratus set fire to the temple, burning it to the ground. The building had a wooden roof and staircase, and once one of the columns collapsed, so did the rest.

That's a bit naughty. Herostratus was arrested and admitted that he burnt it down so that his name would go down in history. Oh. That was the reason? Yeah, he did it for fame, for infamy. Wow. And now you're playing right into his hands, Dave. Yes.

Well, he was executed. This is exactly what he wants. Yes. The authorities created a, after they killed him, a damnatio memorei law forbidding anyone to mention his name orally or in writing in an attempt to stop him from getting his wish. Yeah, the old Voldemort rule. Don't say his name.

Orally or in writing, but you could still hear his name, taste his name or touch his name. You can think it. You could still think his name as well. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Nice try trying to tell me what I can and can't do up here. You can do anything up here.

You can do anything up here. I'm tasting his name right now up here. Tastes good. Yum, pineapple. You can do anything up here. You can do anything up here. I'm tasting his name right now up here. Tastes good. Yum, pineapple. I'm going back for more. The law was obviously ineffective as evidenced by me talking about him 2,300 years later. You're such a bad boy, Dave. Look at you breaking the rules.

I break the rules, whatever. You don't care, do you? Oh, you're such a bad boy. I say whatever comes into my mind. Yeah, he does. Do ba-bap. Shimmy chow. He's crazy.

Shimmy chow. I've never heard this used before. Apparently, Herostratus has become a colloquial word for someone who commits a criminal act in order to become famous. Okay. Herostratic fame refers to Herostratus And means fame sought at any cost Have you ever heard that? No, but I love it I love it

Stop copying me Jess, I love it So he burned it down to get famous Then the temple was rebuilt and survived until late antiquity Dave, can you put that into numbers? The Gothic invasion of 267 Okay The year 267. Okay.

The year 267. I feel like we're on the numbers. It was destroyed again. It was once again rebuilt, however. However, it was torn down for the last time in the year 401 by Christians. Until today. Let's rebuild it, baby. Rebuild it.

Love it. We'll make it move in ready. Today, only the foundations and the solitary columns stand as a reminder of the Incredible Temple. There's one column left. Oh, the original column? Yeah. That's it. Although.

Any sandbags? Yeah, plenty of sand. You can see a reconstruction and a miniature park in Istanbul. Oh. A mini construction. That's cute. Lego world or something. Which is probably the photo I'll post. This is the best.

And you look at it. It's amazing. It's like surrounded by columns. It looks awesome. And the lentils. How good are they? Oh, my goodness. They are perfect.

But you will not be putting an air conditioner through those. Absolutely not. Too spendy. Too spendy. Stop trying to make it happen. I don't think you can pull it off. Just being honest. Yeah, no, that's all right.

Don't do it. Spenny's already right there. Yeah, I feel like Spenny from you just feels better. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I'll stick with a classic. Well, while you stick with a classic, we'll be back after these messages.

Or if there's no messages, I'll continue talking right now. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. We'll be Indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. visit techu.ca slash write the future. Okay, on to my favourite of the wonders. Oh, he's got a fave.

I wish I could see it. The Mausoleum at Halicarnassus. Located in what is now Bodrum in southeastern Turkey, the monument was the tomb of Mausolus, ruler of the small kingdom of Caria and southwestern Asia Minor. It was named the Mausoleum after Mausolus, ruler of the small kingdom of Caria and southwestern Asian minor. It was named the Mausoleum after Mausolus and was so famous that Mausoleum became the generic term for outdoor monumental tombs. There you go. That's where the term Mausoleum comes from.

From Mausolus. Is that a fun fact or at least a grim fact? That's at least a grim fact. Yeah. I think it might be a fun grim. And it's crazy that you would make that call because it's absolutely not your place to do it. I think you're in charge of grim.

Yes. Jess, you're in charge of fun. So we've got the tick from grim. I don't think it's that fun. Okay, so it's just a grim fact. Maybe it's interesting. Okay. It's an interesting fact, but that's not my territory.

I was trying to push into your territory then. I'm aware of what You were trying to do And I simply won't allow it You mounted your forces Yeah Or whatever they do Right on the boundary

That's right And you sent me back Yeah I fired some arrows at you I said fuck off Fuck off I thought maybe Maybe I could

Shoot Start a new thing That's grim fun No But I can't Absolutely not You own all fun Yep I am the master of not. You own all fun.

Yep. I am the master of fun. There's nothing more fun than that. Yeah. Being, I'm a Nazi for fun. Yeah. You're a fun Nazi. I'm a fun Nazi. Can I say that?

Yes, you can. Okay. So the Moorsland was built in Caria's capital city, Harlequinassus, between 353 and 351 BCE by his sister Artemisia II, who was also his widow. I'd say that again. Sister and wife. So she was alive as a sister but dead as his wife?

Is that what you mean? How does that even happen? Morsulus had married his sister and then he died so she became the sister widow before she was the sister wife. Okay. That's blah. Yeah. Some people keep it in the family too literally.

I think you can. You don't do that. You don't do that. But I read this and I thought. Different time. Still. You're saying different time. I thought this has got to be a cultural thing.

I looked into it. He was the first in his family to marry his sister. So it was not common. Nobody else in the family had married his sister? Not even his brother. God, she must have been a real uggo or something. Nobody wanted to marry her. So eventually he was like alright. Alright. I don't want to have a loser in the family. I'll marry you.

I'll marry you to save the family's image. There's so many other people that you can marry. Don't marry your sister or your brother. Just don't do it. Yeah. Okay? Don't marry anyone's sister.

Marry only children. Only children. Yeah. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Just to be safe. Just in case. How do you know that they're definitely not your sister?

Yeah, that's right. Were you there at the birth? No. Probably not. Hopefully not. And if you were, you probably shouldn't marry them. That's right. There you go. they're definitely not your sister? Yeah, that's right. Were you there at the birth? No. Probably not. Hopefully not. And if you were, you probably shouldn't marry them. That's right. There you go.

You're too old. Never marry a sister or a brother. That's right. Yep. Okay. I think that's important. And I'm glad we finally got to that. We put it there.

So the building. Put it there. Put it there. Are we making a deal? Yeah, put it there, Dave. We're bringing that into law now Put it there So the mausoleum was built by

Artemisia II Who's the wife slash widow For the resting place of her husband slash brother The building was designed by the Greek Architects Pythias and Satyros Pythia and Satyr That's fun. That's good.

That is fun. Shotgun pithy. Did they invent these things as well? No relation. Oh. To each other, but they did invent those things. Sorry. But good they're not related because they were married.

And that was fine. That's okay. It was approximately 45 metres or 150 feet in height and the four sides were adorned with sculptural reliefs, each created by one of four famous Greek sculptors, one of which was Scopus of Paros, who had supervised one of the rebuilds of the Temple of Artemis that I just mentioned earlier. Oh, wow.

So he had his fingers in a couple of these. Seven wonders. Seven wonder pies. Seven pies of... I've got to do something with that. Yeah. Seven wonder pies. Seven pies of... I've got to do something with that. Yeah. Seven ancient pies. Little clunky.

We'll get there. We'll get there. When you say you're going to do something with that, what do you mean? You're going to go to each of those places and eat a pie? Yes. Yes, I should visit these places. And I'll come with you and I'll eat a sandwich made on wonder bread.

Wonder what? Wow. Can we get sponsorship for this? Seven sangers of the world. Seven ancient sangers. The best part is if the Babylon Garden Stone exists, we could just do it in our backyard. That's true.

Fantastic. Prove us wrong. So this mausoleum sat on a hill on top of a large stone platform and on top was 36 columns. Standing between each pair of columns was a statue. Above this was a pyramid-shaped roof and on the very top of the building were statues of four massive horses pulling a chariot in which rode images of Mausolus and his sister wife Artemisia.

So they're on top of this thing. And if you're struggling to imagine it, it was the main inspiration for the Shrine of Remembrance in Melbourne. Really? Yeah. It's based on the Mausoleum of Harlequin Assis. Wow, that's kind of cool. As well as many other buildings around the world.

Yeah, right. If that doesn't ring a bell for you, look up this mausoleum. Type into Google Images. It looks so awesome. It's the one I wish I could see. Can you name it again? Mausoleum of Harlequin Assis. Sick.

After Mausolus' death, his sister wife Artemisia took control of the kingdom, which was unusual as women didn't usually rule. Thinking she'd be easy to beat, being a feeble woman in quotation marks, the Rhodians, a nearby kingdom, decided to invade. But Artemisia outwitted them them captured them all and their boats and then took the captured boats back to roads where they were welcomed they were like oh our boys are coming home and then they sprang up and she also captured all of roads hell yeah hell yeah sister so the wife sister wife so that totally backfired and she was a bit of a badass. Wow. But she was very saddened by her husband brother's death.

Brother husband. Brother husband. And reportedly drank his ashes daily with wine. No. No, thank you. It's getting weirder. No, no, no. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

I miss you so much. I want to drink you. But why would you put him in a wine? Put him in a smoothie. Blend it up. You know, like a protein powder. You wouldn't notice it so much. I want to drink you. But why would you put him in a wine? Put him in a smoothie. Blend it up. Like a protein powder. You wouldn't notice it as much. A really grainy, gritty wine.

No, thank you. How about it? I mean, at least then you've got some alcohol to give you a little buzz. Yeah, that's true. Give you a little brother buzz. No reason you couldn't put it in an alcoholic smoothie or a milkshake or something. Yeah, mojito. Delish.

Do they sort of blend it? No. Maybe like a pina colada, Dave's favorite. Oh, that'd be great. Yeah, that would be good because I wouldn't be thinking about how gross the ashes are because I'd be thinking how gross the pina colada is. Yeah, great, perfect. What are you talking about?

Pineapple milk. Pineapple. Bit of milk in there. What? No. A creamy, fr Pineapple. Bit of milk in there. What? No. A creamy, frothy goodness. No, no, no. Bit of ashes for good measure.

Yum, yum, yum. I'm listening again. Bit of protein. Is that how you would like us to consume you when you're gone? Please consume me. But I don't want to be ashes. I just want to be bits. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, okay. Just little chunks. Yeah. Oh. I'll do it like I was a boy and I'll take your leg, I'll chew the meat off your butt out the backyard, like when I was a boy. I didn't understand what you meant at first.

I'll do it like I was a boy. Yeah. What the hell are you talking about? When I was a boy, I used to chew meat off the bone in the backyard because we didn't have a dog. So you were the dog? I think so. Your parents just yelled fetch.

I only realised that later. But like the end of the roast or, you know, whatever the Sunday roast or whatever, you go, all right, Matt, you can take it out the back. And I'll be looking at the family through the window chewing meat off the bone. I'm not surprised that you're a lifelong vegetarian now because you were just like, I want to make this stop somehow. If I tell them I don't eat

any meat, they can't make me eat this. I'll miss it. That'd be the first thing I did. Get into the backyard. With a bone. But you don't like dogs. You don't understand dogs. No, I love dogs. Dogs are great. I just don't understand no i like i love dogs dogs are great i just i don't i don't

understand having a dog it just feels weird to me to have a dog in your house it feels like they deserve don't deserve they it feels like they'd be up for just roaming around yeah i know saw a few dingoes in the wild on my trip that's pretty fun that's cool i haven't seen dingoes in the wild before yeah i think so that's cool yeah it was. They were both a couple of solo dingoes. I'm not sure how well Humphrey would go in the wild. Oh, Goose would be dead in minutes. Are you kidding me? Because he would run up to a bear or something and be like,

hello, because he's so friendly. Where are you releasing him? In the Pacific Northwest. Of course. He can't handle a hot climate. He needs to go into the woods. So she drank her husband, brother. Brother, husband.

Brother, husband. Brother, husband. Over the centuries, she's been depicted in art as the heartbroken lover. It's disgusting. People like Rembrandt have painted her and all sorts of things. She died two years later and was interred alongside Mausolus in the Mausoleum, which was finally finished after both their deaths. She was succeeded by their younger brother and sister,

who also married. Okay. So there you go. Sadly, all good things must come to an end, and the mausoleum was destroyed in a series of earthquakes between the 13th and 15th centuries. Whoa. It was actually the last surviving of the six destroyed wonders.

So it's the closest we've got. Its remains were later used in the fortification of a castle and in 1846 pieces of one of the mausoleum's freezers were extracted from the castle and now reside along with other relics from Harley Carnassus as well as many other stolen pieces

in London's British Museum which I saw last week and inspired this whole report. Oh, wow. Cool. I'll post some photos. That's why it's your favourite because you've seen some of it. But also, did you look up the building? It looks so cool.

It looks like a cake. It does because it's got quite a big base that sits on and then the building on top. Yeah, that chunky base looks like it. I reckon someone must have made a cake out of that. I'd love that cake. I just love cake. Oh, yeah.

Can we get cake? It's our birthday soon. Do you get cake on your birthday? Oh, no. Well. Not typically, no. All right, Dave, I'll come to yours then. Please.

My wife always makes the same cake and I live for it. Yes. My wife. My wife. How the same cake and I live for it. Yes. My wife. My wife. How many, wait, how many birthdays have you had a wife for? Well. This is your first birthday with a wife. Yeah.

Before that, she was my sister. And I've promoted her. Sorry, my sister wife, Bora. Before that, she was my sister. All right, we're up to our sixth one and our second last. We're up to the Colossus of Rhodes, which is probably the coolest sounding one. It does sound pretty cool. Honestly, initially I thought you had mispronounced Rome and Colosseum.

I was like, God damn it, Dave. Come on, mate. I know it's been a while, mate, but come on. Come on. Colossus of Rhodes. Any guesses of what it is? What does that sound like? Like a supermarket.

Like a coal shop. Yeah, maybe like a, you know, like a. Like an early supermarket, like some sort of market. The first market. Maybe a drag racing strip or, you know, like some sort of market. The first market. Maybe a drag racing strip or like a circuit, maybe one of those sort of like that Bob Jane T-Mart one outside of Melbourne. Yeah. Are we close?

You're so close. Yes. It is another statue. Oh, yeah. Second guess. Why are there statues? I mean, they're done. Oh, wonder.

All these wonders. Oh, it's a statue. Okay. If I was doing them, I'd have one statue tops. Absolutely. It has to be a pretty freaking great statue. But they didn't have, you know what? Now I'm realizing they didn't have that much back then.

Like we're going back thousands. This is pre-reality. They probably didn't have like waterfalls. Yeah. You know what I mean? They probably didn't have like, don't know big rocks or something no yeah there's no fountains that would be cool yeah because this is there there is also a natural wonders of the world is there an ancient natural wonders of the world how many wonders of the world

natural wonders are so old anyway right good point that's a good point when you think about it it got me there on a technicality yeah it's like the only new wonders of the world like a sinkhole or something where people are like a sinkhole or something where people are like, whoa, that's pretty crazy. Yeah, it's not like things just pop up. Yeah. Like, holy shit. Where the hell did that come from?

There's an oasis over there. Wow, a new reef. What happened to that primary school? Who cares? There's an oasis. There's a cave right there. So it was built in 305 BCE on the Greek city of Rhodes on an island of the same name,

the same place captured by Artemisia 50 years earlier. Yeah, well, you mentioned Rhodes before and I was like, I've heard that earlier on. The statue depicts the Greek sun god Helios and was built to commemorate Rhodes' victory over the invading Macedonians in 305 BCE. The invasion was led by Demetrius I, son of Antigonus, a general under Alexander the Great,

and Rhodes' victory was not expected. They were like, we're going to get crushed, and then they unexpectedly won. And after the win, they were quite wealthy, having sold all the military equipment left behind by their enemies. So they spent an incredible sum commemorating their proud victory. It was the equivalent of hundreds of ships worth. Like you build a statue or have something like 500 new ships

and they went with a statue. Like on The Simpsons. New money. Am I right? Yeah, new money. You don't know what to do with it. It was sculpted by Charis of Lindos, who initially proposed it to be 50 feet high,

already an enormous height. But he was asked to double it, meaning the Colossus stood approximately. Let me do it. 50 feet high. Double it. Double it. 85.

So close. Let me round you up to 108 feet high in the end. Drop eight feet. It was 33 metres. That's also not double, is it? But if that eight feet is just a spire. Oh, yeah. Fuck you.

So it's 33 metres tall, which for scale is approximately the height of the modern Statue of Liberty from her feet to the crown. Wow. So not the base. Yeah, right. The Colossus, however, stood on a marble base that was 15 metres high or 49 feet, meaning in total it was nearly 50 metres tall. This makes the Colossus the tallest statue in the ancient world.

Cop that, Zeus. Right. Because Goose wasn't. Goose. Because Zeus was sitting down, though. Sitting down, though. Yeah, that's a mistake. But this is massive, 50 metres tall.

Did the term Colossus, because that means huge thing, was that before or after this? I'm not sure if it inspired the word Colossus. That would be so cool, Colossus. While you're looking that up, Dave, I'd love to make a request of the listeners out there, someone who's got a little bit of Photoshop skills. Could you, just for my benefit,

could you put the seven wonders of the world on a scale next to Melbourne's Rialto? Yeah. That would help me out a lot. Because I'm just really struggling to picture it. I looked up the Rialto before for you. Yeah. The Rialto's 300 metres tall.

Okay. So the pyramid, half the height. Half the height. So half the Rialto's 300 metres tall. Okay. So the pyramid, half the height. Half the height. So half the Rialto. Half is impressive. Yeah, I'm not actually that impressed now. Because I was thinking, I was imagining like standing at the base of the pyramid and looking out and being like,

whoa, shit. But if it's like not even as big as the Rialto. But you've got to remember the Rialto is two buildings next to each other. Maybe it's the smaller part of the Rialto. Okay. Just kind of. That doesn't sound right. I don't think many. How many people go to the Rialto and look at the smaller part of the Rialto. Okay. That doesn't sound right.

I don't think many. How many people go to the Rialto and look at the smaller part? Yeah. Certainly not me. Not me. I ignore the smaller part. I flip it off, actually. Yeah.

I say, fuck you, small part. Fuck you. Fuck you. Love you, big bit. I looked up the etymology of Colossus. Yeah. It's via the Latin from the Greek Colossus applied by Herodotus, that guy before I said this, the father of history,

to describe the statues of Egyptian temples. Right. So it was already in usage. In usage, yes. Very interesting. There you go. So but it's really tall, the tallest in the ancient world. It was made of bronze and reinforced with iron

and weighted with stones in the feet. The way they probably built it was pretty incredible. They surrounded the statue by burying it in a mountain of earth so they could carry piece by piece to the top, building it, standing up. Whenever it got bigger, they would bury it more so they could stand on top of the pile and reach the next part. And then they just dug it out again?

Deeper and deeper and deeper. Yes, and because it was wearing a crown when I saw recreations, it kind of looked like a buried Statue of Liberty. Oh, kind of the ape style. It was worth Earth all along. You maniacs. You blew it up. You blew it up.

You did it. So, wait, how do they get it out? What? Doesn't that feel like they've just created a problem? Leaf blower. Oh. Get rid of all the dirt. Oh, yep. So, you just created a problem? Leaf blower. Oh. Getting all the dirt. Oh, yeah.

So you just make all the ground lower. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You build the rest of the city around it. Right. And then you never see the statue, but you know it's there. It's there, though. But no, being buried during construction meant the sculptor and the workers had to wait until it was done,

fully done before they could see it. So they had to dig it out yeah and after 12 long years the dirt was finally removed you'd be like i hope it's good and then it turns out you put the fade on backwards or something yeah it's like one of those one of those reality show reveals yeah he's just a bit wonky it's like ah fuck Get the dirt back. Yeah, that's right. I liked it better. Is the dirt enough for an ancient wonder? The dirt of Rhodes?

That's pretty good. Yeah, that's where Mound was named after. Mound has got a massive mouth. The sculptor never saw his finished creation, apparently having committed suicide before his completion. There are many stories as to why he took his own life. One is that he was almost finished when someone pointed out a small flaw. Oh, no. Don't do that.

And not being able to face the shame. The other is that when he initially offered to build it 50 feet high and he was asked to double it, he asked for double the money, only later realising that to build it that big, it would in fact cost eight times as much. The story is he apparently took his life when he went bankrupt. He got to do the sums. He did not crunch the numbers.

He did not. He was like, sure, double the material, double the time. Yeah, you would think. It took way longer. Because it's bigger in all sorts. It's not just twice as tall. Yeah, it's bigger everywhere. Bigger girth.

Bigger girth, take you longer. Yeah. Never underestimate the as tall. Yeah, it's bigger everywhere. Bigger girth. Bigger girth. Take you longer. Yeah. Never underestimate the girth. Yeah. Never. Always use that rule of eight. You want it bigger?

Well, that'll cost eight times as much. It doesn't matter what the context is. That's why the difference between a small pizza and a large pizza is eight times. Yeah, that's an $80 pizza. Sorry. You want it big though. You want eight smalls. Okay. It's an $80 pizza. Sorry. You want it big though? No, you want eight smalls. Okay.

It's not scalable like that. You can't just go, I want it twice as big, it's twice as much. No. No, it's eight times as big. Eight times as much. I've got to use eight times as much pepperoni. Yeah. And that shit ain't cheap.

That shit ain't cheap. What do you think, I'm made of pepperoni? I'm not. I'm a man. I've checked. You're just having a meltdown in the pizza shop. What do you think I am, made of pepperoni? I'm not. I'm a man. I've checked. It's just a point. You're just having a meltdown in a pizza shop. What do you think I am?

Made of pepperoni? Certainly I'm not. I don't know who you've been talking to. No one said that. But that is not true. Ask my wife. What? I just want a pizza.

What kid pepperoni man? Oh, that's it. I told you about the time that i tried to order a toasted cheese sandwich at a pizza shop on ligon street it had on the wall toasted cheese sandwiches available and i said can i have a cheese and tomato sandwich and the guy goes you'll have a margarita pizza and i was like you'll have one yeah and i went no no no can i have a toasted cheese sandwich he goes you'll have a margarita pizza and i said one more time he goes you'll have and igarita pizza. And I said one more time, he goes, you'll have a margarita. And I went, okay, I guess I'm having a margarita pizza. You go, Vince.

If you're asking for a cheese and tomato toasted sandwich, you're essentially asking for a margarita pizza. I think that he may not have had bread or something, but he didn't bother communicating that to me. He's like, this is the closest thing. You should have this. You like cheese? You like tomato?

You like bread? It felt so threatening. Yeah, that's very strange. It's basically a calzone. Georgie boy. Had a good one of those in Italy. Of course you did. Mamma mia.

Mamma mia. You're in Italy. Delish. You went to Italy and you had a calzone. I did. Did you get up towards the Swiss-Italian border? Not close enough. You didn't get to Gudo?

I didn't get to Gudo. Oh, my God. Did you travel? What was the point? If you didn't get to Goudo. Population of like 17 people. Oh, okay. You didn't visit Goudo.

It's on my list. Some Euro trip. Is that your eighth wonder of the world? Goudo. Goudo. If I'm remembering that right. Goudo. With thiso. If I'm remembering that right. Goudo. With this wonder, the sixth wonder is commonly depicted in art

as straddling the entrance to Rhodes Harbour with ships sailing between the lakes. Oh, that's hot. According to, yeah, don't look up. There's semen travelling between the lakes. Are you serious? Come on. Come on. Grow up. Grow up, Come on. Come on, grow up.

Grow up, ancient people. Grow up. Grow up. You disgust me. You disgust me. Grow up. That's my Joe Biden. Grow up.

Joe Biden meets Jerry Seinfeld. So according to Britannica, it's technically possible that the statue could have straddled the harbour entrance and the popular belief that it did so only dates from the Middle Ages. But other sources say it couldn't have possibly stood there. People say it's impossible. Okay.

Britannica says... It's impossible. It's impossible. That design feature could explain why it stood for the shortest amount of time of all the ancient wonders, only lasting 56 years. It was toppled by an earthquake in 226 BCE, snapping it at the knees. And then it just fell over. Oops. It was foretold by an oracle that if it was to be rebuilt, roads would suffer a great misfortune.

So it was left in ruins. Because of a fortune teller. However, it was still an attraction to see even the remains on the ground. That's how big it was. Just its thumb was apparently bigger than most statues of the day, and people couldn't physically get their arms around the thumb. That's fun. That's fun, isn't it?

Yeah, it is fun. I mean, sometimes the things that didn't quite go right are more fun as an attraction anyway, right? Like who gives a fuck about the Tower of Pizza if it's not a little leamy? Yeah, that's true. It would just be a tower. Yeah, who gives a shit? Like whatever.

I don't think we would have heard of it. Why did I get on the train to see this? I feel like an idiot. Where's the closest Irish pub? But if you're able to pose next to it, looking like you're pushing it or overall holding it up. That is fun. Using perspective tricks to make it look like you're boning a model. I only look like I was having sex with this towel.

Yeah, making it look like that's your penis. That's fun. That's fun. That is fun. It's undeniably fun. It's a little bent. That's objectively fun. Often humour. It's undeniably fun. It's a little bent. That's objectively fun. Often humor is subjective.

Not in this case. Not in this case. That is objectively fun. That's 100% hit rate. Yeah. Everyone's laughing. Find me any person who doesn't find that hilarious. Let's bring it down.

That's my close-up. I reckon that should be the robot test on computers. Are you a robot? Just say, is this funny? Robots don't get it. Yeah. They'll be stumped. Humans go, I'm chuckling.

There it is. Boom. Human. Humanity confirmed. Yeah. So it lay on the ground in ruins until the 9th century AD when the remaining bronze was taken away by Arabic forces to be melted down.

Sucks. Fucking hell. Apparently it took 980 camels to carry it all away. 980? That's a lot of camels. That's a lot of camels. That's a lot of camels in any book. Not in the Australian Outback.

That's a drop in the fucking ocean. How many have we got? You know, it'd be easy to put a camel through the eye of a needle. We got 990 up there? Yeah. Add a couple of zeros. 990. there? Yeah. Add a couple of zeros. 990. Hang on.

Oh, shit. Okay. Just give her a minute. Do you need a paper and pen? Yeah. I'm coming. That's what that lady was doing. She was doing the camel sums.

You just don't understand American. American kindness. American kindness. Kindness. The same woman the next night when I went down to the lobby to check what time checkout was, she was checking out with her three friends. They were all at the front doing the business. She was standing at the back with her phone going,

oh, I just got an email asking if I can play golf on Thursday. I guess I can play golf on Thursday just announcing it to the lobby. So good. I was just nodding like I care. I love her. That's fun. I'm a big fan too. That feels like you're travelling. If that was an Australian, I would have found them to be a nightmare. 100%. Because they're American or from anywhere else.

To a point, I'd be like. What a fun character. This is a character I'm glad I've bumped into. Yeah. But as an Australian I'm like, fuck. I'm so embarrassed. You are a sufferable and you're a shame on our nation it was so so good just announcing at golf plans to no one i guess i could i'd be like uh is there room for one more where we're about to you're gonna be on thursday i'll be there too one million feral camels in australia for gonna have to have a couple more zeros. Yeah, we're going to have to add a few zeros. What do you mean, like 100 million?

What are you guys talking about? In 2008, plans to rebuild a modern Colossus on roads were announced at a cost of 250 million euros. This time they wanted it to be five times higher at 150 metres plus the base.

It makes sense. Like if you're going to, you wouldn't make it to the same size because it wouldn't be as impressive. No, it's not impressive anymore. By modern standards because we've got a Rialto now. Exactly. I was going to say for scale, it's the Statue of Liberty is 93 metres including the base, so it's one and a half Statue of Liberties.

Yeah, right. It's big time. Yeah. You've hit the big time. She's puny. Yeah. Who cares? But also half a Rialto.

Still half a Rialto. Still half a Rialto. So the Rialto's 300 metres. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I read that. Bloody hell. How tall is the fucking Eiffel Tower? That's got to be bigger. Is that bigger than the Rialto? I lied to you.

It's 250 metres. I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. Oh, no. I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. You're sure you're Oh, no. I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. Are you sure you're not talking about the little bit? Please, Dave.

Please, a little bit. Don't do this to us. Okay, it's 270 with the antenna spire. Well. Take those antennas. Take those antennas. Now, in this case, in this case, I think the antenna has merit. Yeah.

Very important part. Do you say Rialto Spire? Look, what I said before about spires, that's about those buildings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Rialto. Those are rules of its own. Yeah. You should do a report on it.

It was the tallest office building in the southern hemisphere when it was constructed. That's impressive. And that lasted like three years. I bang on about the realtor because I find it very funny that when I was a kid teachers and stuff were kind of proud of it. Yeah. So that's kind of my bit I'm doing over a long period of time.

It's not a bit. It's not a bit. When I say a bit, not a bit. Certainly not a bit. But I did like a TikTok early on about it and someone commented something like, yeah, this fact still isn't interesting. TikTok is a good place for feedback. They're kind and definitely not assholes.

It's great. That's good stuff. Love it. This is still not interesting. Love that. Something like that. I'm like, oh god i don't know mate i know you can never tell if they're in on their bed they're with you or not and by by

commenting they have ensured the algorithm will show more videos of you to this person fantastic so it was planned in 2008 they were going to make this new colossus according to the guardian writing in 2008 the new colossus will be a tourist attraction with shops, cafes, a museum and a library and will also act as a lighthouse. Oh, so just put a big light on the top. But imagine the toes are all different shops. Oh, that's great. That's nice.

Let's get Homer Simpson design this Colossus. You know, it could have everything. Have a TV in the belly. What are the shops? What are the toe shops one of them could be one of those toenail shops where they do your toenails pedicures and only pedicures and then one of the fingers could be manicures manicures yes wow and then one of the other fingers could sell chicken fingers that's good one of them could be like a a ring shop one of

the toes could sell only toasties. Oh, that's good. And one of the other fingers could sell fish fingers. Oh, that's good. And one of the other toes could take... Toe rings. Toe rings. So it's actually quite annoying because you have to go like if you wanted a mani and a pedi, you have to

go to two different shops. If you want some jewellery, you have to go to multiple different places. But that's a cultural thing. But you can stop using and fish fingers on the work. Exactly right. Sustenance. Get a photo in one of the- That's good. Yeah.

Yep. I think we should send an email. Toe-blerone. Toe-blerone. Oh, now you're talking. Yes. Goodbye, toads. My Swiss ears are pricking up there, Dave.

Toads. Toads. Toadfish Rebecca could have a signing stall there. Yes, a permanent signing stall. Now that Navid's off the air he's got the time. He's got the time. That's good. Anyway, Dave, two go on I reckon. Well, it's actually pretty

this is still from the Guardian. Helios remember the gods, skin will be made of solar panels and state of the art computer technology will ensure it never falls again. And you're wondering, what happened to this statue? Well, the project was shelved after the GFC and Greece's subsequent economic collapse in the 2010s. But they might make it up again.

Exactly. I think they're doing better economically now, so maybe they will spend 250 million euros on this statue. I would. If that's all I had in the bank, that would be perfect. The government just goes, all in. All in, yeah. statue i would if i if that's all i had in the bank that would be perfect they just the government just goes all in all in yeah imagine how sad it would be if all you had in the bank was 250 million dollars oh that would be pretty grim that would be so that would be sad but i've got 250 million euros

how am i gonna feed myself but once you build that statue, you know, that's going to generate cash. Yeah, it's an investment. A lot of manis, a lot of pedis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of toe rings, a lot of finger rings. Yep. You've got everything going on there that you want. That's right.

You've got photos. Toadfish Rebecki. Toadfish Rebecki's there. This is, you may as well, one of the fingers may as well be printing its own money. They move the mint up there. You may as well. One of the fingers may as well be printing its own money. They move the mint up there. I think the Greeks, they'd be crazy not to. Yeah, yeah.

Just go all in. Borrow the money. Yeah. You don't got it yet. Borrow it. Borrow it. You're going to be good for it. Yeah.

In no time. Yeah, yeah. Sure. Belly button's a button shop. Nah. Sure. The belly button's a button shop. Nah. Who would go to a button shop? You know what I mean? Like, if anything, the belly button needs to be a haberdashery with a button section, sure.

But just buttons, David. They'll close in a week. Everyone needs buttons. When's the last time you went and bought buttons? Yeah, that's right. Get on with your report, button boy. I love buttons. I'm anti-zip, pro-button.

Well, we finally arrived at the final wonder on our ancient tour, the Lighthouse of Alexandria. We're back where it all began in Egypt. The lighthouse was located on a small island called Pharos near the city of Alexandria. It was completed in the same year as the Colossus, 280 BC, and has been described as the archetype of all subsequent lighthouses. Wow.

280 BC, obviously a big year for big things. Yeah. The lighthouse was commissioned by the first Ptolemy, the Greek general who stayed behind to rule after Alexander the Great conquered Egypt, shortly after Ptolemy declared himself pharaoh in 305 BCE. We've talked about Ptolemy, haven't we? Yes, we have. Cleopatra was from the Ptolemaic dynasty.

That's right. The last one. Jess, what the hell? Yes, we have. Cleopatra was from the Ptolemaic dynasty. That's right. The last one. Jess, what the hell? I thought we were together on not remembering anything. I remembered something. That's great. Okay, hang on. I finally remembered something and you got mad at me for it.

Yes. Rather than celebrating my victory. I just saw you looking at me in your rearview mirror. You were waiting. You were waiting. You were waiting. Bye. Jess, don't leave me out back here. Don't leave me.

Tolomath, what the fuck are you talking about? Sorry, buddy. You're going to have to remember something. Taking 33 years to complete, it stood over three levels, each smaller than the last. The lowest part was square, the next octagonal, and the top was cylindrical.

In total, it was 350 feet or 110 meters tall, making for centuries its second only in height to the Great Pyramid. Second comes right after first. This also means if it stood today, 2,300 years later, it would still be the tallest conventional lighthouse in the world. Oh, wow. So they haven't topped it. Does it look like, you would still be the tallest conventional lighthouse in the world. Oh, wow. So they haven't topped it. Does it look like, you know, the Round the Twist lighthouse, the classic sort of lighthouse?

It's more because it's bigger. It's got the three parts. It's like a big bit at the bottom, smaller bit, and then basically the Round the Twist bit's on top of two platforms. That's fun. Its light was provided by a fire burning close to the top every night and incredibly the light could be seen at a distance of 50 miles. What?

That's a big fire. A broad spiral ramp led to the top that was said to have been wide enough for donkeys and carts to carry wood all the way up. How did the donkey get back down? Back? Yeah, they couldn't go backwards? They threw the donkey in the fire and they started again. That's the worst part about going to the top of lighthouses. There's always a fairly rickety ladder.

I'm like, I'm good actually. So, yeah, this sounds like this one will burn down. Yeah, that was my guess also. Let's find out. In the Middle Ages, the beacon at the top was replaced with a small mosque by a sultan. The lighthouse was severely damaged by three earthquakes between 956 and 1323 AD and became an abandoned ruin.

And in 1477, a fort was built from the ruins. Wow. So no fire. So instead of a light for a while was built from the ruins. Wow. So no fire. Yeah. So instead of a light for a while, there was a mosque. How does that stop ships hitting the shore? I guess they were like, whatever. Yeah, right.

They're just like, ships are just crashing. Yeah. They were like, this is a cool place for a mosque. Really the tallest building for ages. It's a cool place for a mosque. It's cool. I'll tell tallest building for ages. It's a cool place for a mosque. It's cool. I'll tell you that for nothing. Beautiful.

So after being lost for centuries, some of the ruins were rediscovered on the floor of Alexandria's harbour in 1994. Wow. And it's possible for divers to visit these ruins today. The discovery was made when the government was planning to build a breakwater and just wanted to check if there was anything down there, as you have to do in Egypt because there's so much history. And having discovered that,

they abandoned the idea of the breakwater. And my final fact in the lighthouse of Alexandria, it was so celebrated in the ancient world that Pharos, the island it stood on, became the Greek word for lighthouse, as well as in many other languages, including French, where it's called Phar,

Italian and Spanish, Pharaoh, Portuguese, Pharrell, and even Swedish, fear, and Bulgarian, far. So that's why. Those are the words for lighthouse? For lighthouse. And we call it lighthouse. We call it something different. I actually do like lighthouse.

It's actually quite a cool name, isn't it? Yeah, I like it. But, yeah, basically everywhere else in the world, they named it after this thing. Wow, cool. Everywhere else in the world. He just named a bunch of places. There's a lot of languages.

Everywhere else, Dave. Oh, my God. Basically everywhere else. Basically. Okay. He's grumpy because I remembered something. It's all right. Let him act out.

It's how he's expressing his feelings. Basically everywhere else in the world, yeah. I've named seven places all within a small vicinity. I've been to Europe, says Dave. I know that's the whole world now. Yeah, you get him. There's a couple other continents going about the place, Dave. Name one.

Well, don't put me on the spot. So that's the seven ancient wonders of the world. Just to recap, if you cross-check those dates, the Colossus of Rhodes was the last of the seven to be recap if you cross check those dates the colossus of rhodes was the last of the seven to be completed just after 280 bc and also the first to be destroyed when it snapped in 226 as such all seven wonders existed at the same time for a period of less than 60 years wow that's pretty amazing amazing yeah and you consider that when the second one came along, the pyramids were already 2,000 years old. Such a small.

Dave, can I request you do a follow-up episode about the modern wonders of the world? Well, I've actually got some facts about it right now. Okay. Jeez, he works quick. He's good. I don't know how he does it. The new Seven Wonders of the World was a campaign started in 2000

by a Swiss foundation to choose wonders of the world from a selection of 200 existing monuments. Marvel Stadium. How many Melbourne? I assume Melbourne probably has five or six of them. How many Melbourne stadiums? MCJ is probably in there. Melbourne Town Hall.

It's quite a beautiful building. Yeah. Shrine of Remembrance kind of looks like one of the old ones. Flinders Street Station. That McDonald's in an old Art Deco bank in Clifton building. Yeah. Shrine of Remembrance kind of looks like one of the old ones. Flinders Street Station. That McDonald's in an old Art Deco bank in Clifton Hill. Yeah, love that one. Yeah, that's a beautiful Maccas. It's actually quite a good McDonald's. There's a good ANZ on

Collins Street in a beautiful... We're going to put forward, for the Australian pitch, we're putting forward a beautiful ANZ bank. One of the big four. So this is in 2000. More than 100 million votes were cast on the internet or by text messages.

And it actually took seven years to announce the results in 2007. So it started in 2000, announced in 2007. Add a guess. Can you guess any of the seven? Eiffel Tower. That's got to be in there. It's not there. Whoa.

Statue of Liberty. Not there. Is it pyramids. Whoa. Statue of Liberty. Not there. Is it pyramids or the Sphinx or something? Well, the Great Pyramid was honoured as the eighth wonder as it still stands. So they gave that honorary mention. But there's seven others. Uluru. No, that was a great natural wonder.

Niagara Falls. These are man-made ones. These are all human-made. I wasn't listening. The moon. Earth itself. Beat that. Beat that idea.

The moon. Hey, prove to me that's not man-made. Oh, good point. I can't prove it to you, mate. Okay, the fucking Empire State Building or something. What is on there? I'll give you the list. The Taj Mahal.

Taj Mahal. Okay, that's pretty impressive. Oh, yeah give you the list. The Taj Mahal. Taj Mahal. Okay. India. That's pretty impressive. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Colosseum. Leaning Tower of Pisa. No.

No, because they've already got the Colosseum. Yeah, Colosseum. Italy can't have two. Chichen Itza in Mexico. Ooh. There's also another type of pyramid. Ah. I don't know.

Do I know Chichen Itza? That's weird. Machu Picchu in Peru. Oh, yes. Okay, yep. That's weird. Machu Picchu in Peru. Oh, yes. Yep, that's fair. The Ruin. Yep. Christ the Redeemer statue in Brazil.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Petra in Jordan. Do you know Petra? The city that's carved into rock. Oh, yes. Thank you. Yep. And the Great Wall of China.

Okay. Damn it, of course. It was right there. Those are pretty good, I guess. Probably a little more impressive than just like a building. See, but the results were actually quite controversial. The poll was considered unscientific partly because it was possible for people to cast multiple votes.

Right. According to Wikipedia.org, which I assume is a Seven Wonders of the World-based website. Great. Some countries touted their finalists and tried to get more votes cast for it while others downplayed or criticised the contest. Okay. For example, Brazil.

No offence to Christ the Redeemer, I was a bit surprised at its inclusion. It's the youngest selection. It was unveiled in 1923. Yeah, but it's big. It's big. Fantastic. The biggest art deco statue in the world love a bit of deco but i was kind of surprised by it in brazil there was a campaign called vote no cristo

which sounds like they're against it but really that translates to vote for the christ which had the support of private companies namely telecommunications operators that stopped charging voters to make telephone calls and sms messages to vote. Everyone in Rio also got a text asking them to vote. Right. Likewise in Peru, an intensive campaign led by the Peruvian Ministry of Commerce and Tourism had a great impact in the media and consequently Peruvian people voted massively for its national wonder, Chichen Itza.

Yeah, it's tricky because you go, a panel should have done it, but then it would be equally easily corruptible, right? How do you pick it otherwise? True. I said Chichen Itza. I meant Machu Picchu. With apologies. I'm having a look at Chichen Itza.

That's awesome. Yeah, I do recognise it. Oh, yes, I saw that one in Mexico when I went there, and it is really cool. It's incredible. I've seen lots of pictures of it. I thought maybe we could do a little online poll ourselves because that's not very scientific.

We could do a new, new Seven Wonders of the World. Oh, that's a great idea. Okay. Maybe do some voting on Twitter. I'm pushing for Rialto. I think we could get it in there. We'd have to pick. We did one of those bracket tournaments.

If we pick 32, it would come down. We'd get a top eight and then we could have a playoff to see who doesn't make it wow yeah we get josh earl involved josh earl he's the master of the online twitter twitter twitter tournaments yeah that's a great idea i'm i'm down so maybe first we need to get suggestions we'll get a twitter list going yeah Yeah, what should be in the top 32? These are the other finalists of the top 20. We could call it the what you pick you or something. Fucking hell, that's good.

I didn't know where you were going. What you pick you. Are you kidding me? How dare you? That's so good. You fucking piece of shit. That's so good You fucking piece of shit That is so good Everyone has a good idea once in a while

Don't they And I've done it Hey, a broken block's right It was today What you pick you What you pick you Fuck, that's good God, you're amazing

That's so good Somebody make that I'm going to sell that as you fuck that's good god you're amazing that's so good somebody make that i'm gonna sell that as a sticker that's good shit what you pick you god he's good no he can't be stopped i mean it's definitely a pun but good what that's good that's a pun well whether you intended it or not the other finalists were the acropolis in Greece, the Alhambra in Spain, Angkor Wat in Cambodia, the Moai statues of Easter Island. Oh, yeah. They're really cool.

Yeah, incredible. The Eiffel Tower, the Hagia Sophia Grand Mosque in Turkey, the Kayamizu Temple in Japan, the Kremlin in Russia, the Neuschwanstein Castle in Germany. I think that's the one that inspired Disney. Pyramids of Giza, Statue of Liberty, Stonehenge, which is like awesome.

How old is that? That's as old as some of the original wonders. Sydney Opera House and Timbuktu in Mali. That's good. Yeah, a lot of good options there. Ooh, that's tricky. I love the, what's that? Is it in St. Petersburg or Moscow or something?

Those sort of bulbous buildings? Oh, St. Basil's. Oh, they're sick. Which is also the best name for them. I'd have them on my long list at the very least. I'd have the Sydney Harbour Bridge. The bridge is great i love that would you put that above the opera house yeah i would personally because it's um

higher up it's taller and bigger yeah so yeah i would put that above it actually because it does actually sit size doesn't matter when i come to suggest like if you're if you're wonders on top of the um the sydney harbour bridge you are actually above the Opera House. Yeah. That's amazing. In terms of height. Oh, okay. Yeah. But also spiritually? Yes. Thank you.

My final thought. I'm surprised no one's brought it up. The Fleetwood Mac song from Tango in the Night. If you want to see someone else. Yeah. Someone, someone, someone. You know that song? Only very vaguely. I don't know that one. If you wanna see Seven wonders Yeah Seven wonders Yeah that song Only very vaguely

I don't know that one Didn't we record a podcast That's been unreleased About the Tango in the night album Matt Did we Yeah I'm pretty sure we did

We did the Bruce Springsteen one Or maybe we We were going to And we were going to I don't know where that is Well it was good fun And I remember I listened to the album for it. So Seven Wonders is a 1987 Fleetwood Mac song from Tango in the Night.

Got it. Last album with their classic most famous lineup. That's a bit of a spoiler for Listen Now fans. Forget he said that. Yeah, forget that. That may or may not be coming up in a couple of episodes. I've often wondered what the hell. So it's sung by Stevie Nicks, what she's saying at the start.

She says, so long ago, certain place, certain time, you touched my hand on the way, on the way down to Emmeline. Okay. I don't know what that meant. I looked it up. According to Wiki, it's also a Fleetwood Mac website. Wow. It's quite niche.

It's a lot. Actually, no, it's the Seven Wonders website, and they've just got an article on this song. That makes sense. According to Wiki, Sandy Stewart, who is not a member of Fleetwood Mac, wrote the song, recorded a demo and sent it to band member Stevie Nicks without a lyric sheet so she could just hear the lyrics. Nicks misheard one of the lines in the first verse

as all the way down to Emma line, a contribution that gave her a writing credit alongside Stuart. A mishearing. Yeah. That feels right. Nick Slater said, I had become so attached to the name Emmeline that we kept it in and she gave me a small percentage.

I'm just Sandy. Wow. Okay. So what was it supposed to be? Do you know? I don't know. Okay. On the way down to Kevin Federline.

Yes. That makes more sense. K-Fed. I don't know who Okay. On the way down to Kevin Fedeline. Yes. That makes more sense. K-Fed. I don't know who that is, but I remember the name. Brittany's ex. Probably a dog. Probably a low dog. Well, on that note.

You leave Brittany alone. Kevin Fedeline. That brings us to the end of my report On the seven ancient wonders Of the world Well done Dave, good to have you back Good to be back and nerding out Nerding out about old stuff

Hey Dave, can I make a quick request Now that you've just whipped through the modern ones What about seven natural wonders of the world Can you do that as a future topic That sounds good Anyone who wants that to happen, suggest it in the hat and then you have your name read out. But mention me as well.

Say your name and my name when it says to put your name in. Because you suggested it. Because we suggested it. I want Dave to read out my name. Well, that'd be nice. I never thought about that. I'm looking it up here. I'm not going to read any out,

but it looks like Australia might get a mention. The Rialto? It's just an alleyway? People are like, Rialto must have been built in the 80s. No, it just appeared one day. Again, on top of a primary school. What the fuck?

The kids have been crushed. Where do I drop my kids off for school? Bruno Grollo said, and now let there be Rialto. And it just rose out of the ground. It's very cool, actually. I wish I'd been there. The school's still on top. The school's still on top.

That's the spider. That's the nipple. It's a school. It is inaccessible. Yeah. And the kids are still up there. Wow. Screaming out.

Their bones are. Because they're old now. Yeah, old and bony. If they were born in the 80s, probably the 70s. Imagine. Impossible. Well, that brings us to everyone's favourite section of the show where we get to spend a little bit of time thanking and appreciating our fantastic Patreon supporters.

And if you want to get involved with them, you can go to patreon.com slash to go on pod and there's a bunch of different levels. What are some of the things you can get there, Jeff? You get three bonus episodes a month. You get access to a Facebook group, which is the loveliest place on the internet. You get to vote on topics and you just get to sleep well at night.

If you don't sleep well, join the Patreon. I've really got to join the Patreon to help with that. You've got to get some sleep. That's right. Well, the first thing we normally like to do is the Fat Corridor question section. That's right. That's right, Jess. I just put $9.95.

That could be yours. Thanks, Belvedere. So, Jess, this first section, fact-quote or question section, that's when people who sign up on the Sidney Schomburg level get to give us a fact-quote or question. They also get to give themselves a nickname or a title. But I think this section of the show has a little jingle, goes something like this.

Fact, quote or question. He always remembers the ding. See, it's like I sing it, but you get the praise every time. Oh, he always remembers the ding. I fucking sing it. I always remember the sing. How about that? Ah, she always remembers the sing.

Thank you. That's good. Okay. I don't know. People want this section to be shorter, and we keep finding ways to add more things in it and i'm sorry i'm sorry that being a feminist is uh taking too much of your time but but i'll um i'll do the feminizing here uh jess i'm lifting you up okay yeah thank you remember that thank you for. Shh, Jess. I'm trying to lift you up over here.

The first one we've got this week comes from Kat Goot, who has the title of Senior Executive of Having a Dog Is My Entire Personality. And Kat is asking a question. Kat writes, Hi, guys. I have a question for each of you all to answer about yourselves. Hopefully it hasn't been asked before. So what do you think is your most toxic trait?

We get asked this all the time. Surely it's obvious by now. This is Kat's first time in the Fat Quarter question section, so I will forgive them for not answering their own question. Oh, okay. Which is what I would say is only polite. But Kat, sure, you didn't know. I can only assume that that means Kat's perfect.

Yeah, that's true too. Kat doesn't answer her own question once, full on me. Kat doesn't do it twice, Cat doesn't get fooled again. Can't get fooled again. That's got to be one of the stupidest things any human being has ever done. Man, I love it so much. That points it very well. I love it so much.

Can't get fooled again. Can't get fooled again. George W. Bush. As time has gone on and, you know, put all the politics to one side, I've really gained a respect for some of just this wild sort of like I think the quips aren't on purpose, but they're so fun. Yeah. Can't get fooled again.

Can't get fooled again. Now watch this draft. Now watch this draft. That's the best. I mean, yeah, you know, putting the politics to one side. I know some people out there, I reckon 50% of our audience, big George W. fans, 50% probably can't stand him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's no in the middle anymore. Absolutely not, no. So I'm putting that all to one side. You love or you hate the guy. But we can agree. Yes. Jeez, he said some funny things. Not on purpose, but very funny.

Can't get fooled again. Might be my favourite comedian of all time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So funny. Yeah. Toxic trait. Well, I don't have one. No, Jess doesn't have one. game might be my favorite comedian of all time yeah yeah funny yeah um toxic trait well i don't have one no just on that one dave you've got a few what's your number one yeah cruelty kicking dogs kicking dogs cruelty to animals yeah cruelty to humans

sadism yes yeah what's your number one though you You've got to rank them. It's hard to pick a favourite. You're a real bad boy. It's like choosing between children. To kick. To kick. Which do I kick? Which one? Which kicks first? But here's the thing. You can kick them both.

A bit of a jealous person. Are you? Can be. Oh, okay. Are you jealous of me? Yes, I'm so. I'm jealous of those glasses. Yeah, they're pretty good.

They look better on you than mine look on me so yes see my toxic trait um too giving too giving i'm treating this like a job interview i'm too perfect i spend too much time at work too punctual yeah i spend too much time like trying to be likable or telling people what they want to hear sometimes. Oh, yeah, of course. Wait. What you do is this is you being likable. I'm too agreeable sometimes to my detriment, my own detriment,

and also other people's like just got to be honest sometimes. Yeah, just say no. Yeah. Yeah, that's definitely not your toxic trait. No, I'm not, but you think I am. Just because you're better at it than me, maybe. But now I'm like, I don't want to let you down. So I'm like, I better say no to some stuff.

I better say no to some great opportunities. I've been offered the prime ministership. Oh, wow. Wow. And I said, nah. You said no to performing stand up at splendor that was something you're like i don't think i want to do it so you didn't do it that's right whereas because a good friend of mine was uh uh was planning it

knew i was anxious said do you want to do it it's okay to say no and i said no thank you that's how it helps when you know it's okay to say no. Exactly. That's a good friend. If he just messaged and said, hey, you've got a 10-minute spot on Saddle Island, I would say fantastic, thank you so much. Can't wait. Right.

Okay, there you go. Yeah, yeah. What about your horrifying odour? Is that a toxic trait? It smells toxic. Oh, if we're talking odours, yeah, that's my toxic trait. Top five worst odours. Yeah, the pits, my armpits.

Probably one of my most toxic. My toxic trait is waiting too long to ask for help and then saying I'll just do it myself anyway and then resenting everybody because nobody helped me but i didn't properly ask or ever ask but they were supposed to know all right here's talking about my dog he just never picks up his own shit come on dog come on help him help your mother out one of my toxic traits is talking over jess for sure but um i've just i've just googled toxic traits classic toxic traits see if any of these ring any bells this is the first thing that came up the village family.org manipulative they use knowledge they

gain about you to try and get you to do what they want yep you do that uh they make you feel bad about yourself yep all the time. You're always telling me that I'm great at things, that you like that I say no to stuff. I'm a great host. Like, yeah. Yeah, we get your sarcasm, Matt. They make you feel like a real piece of shit.

Being judgmental. Yes, you are incredibly judgmental. You're always like, no, no, no, I don't need any perspective. Fuck that guy. That's you. Negativity. Oh, God. Insuff't need any perspective. Fuck that guy. That's you. Negativity. Oh, God. Insufferable to be around.

Self-centered. That rolls right along. Difficulty managing their anger and controlling. They're big ones. I don't think either of you have any of those. Thank you. I've hidden them well. It did make me think of one, and I've already forgotten it.

It made me think of one and I've already forgotten it. Oh, being like not being sincere enough. Like I think I'm real bad at just getting into this mode of everything sarcastic and I can't stop sometimes. And I know it's happening and I just get into the habit of it and I can't stop. And I imagine that would be infuriating to be around. The knowing nod. No, I'm sorry.

That did seem like I was like, yeah, Matt. No, I know what I mean. I'm talking about the person that I live with is the same. Oh, right. And we have many conversations about sometimes you can just answer my question. Yeah, I think just because of the beer pioneer shoot, that was three weeks away with a few other people. And I'm like, you know, as it went along, I think just because of the beer pioneer shoot, that was three weeks away with a few other people, and I'm like, you know, as it went along, I'm like,

I can just answer questions. Not everything's a fucking bit. But, yeah, I wish I had more. I don't read these, so I'll read them out. Cat's the first time I hear, even though Cat Goot's a long-time friend of the show. And I also think we answered it quite genuinely as well because there's like the – I think probably what Cat's getting at

is that, you know, on the internet at the moment, people are talking about their toxic traits and it's like thinking I can carry all the groceries at once. And we're here like, I don't know, I guess. Oh, okay. Do we misread this? I think we answered the question. I mean, I also do that.

I'll try for a one trip with all the groceries. No bags, thanks. I'll just – I got it. I'll hug these. I'll try for a one trip with all the groceries. No bags, thanks. I'll just hug these. I've got a few pockets. I got it. I think that watermelon should fit in my back pocket. Should be all good. Thank you, Kat, though.

Love that question. Next time, Kat, give us an answer as well. We want to know about you. Yeah, that also maybe would have set the tone for me if it was a silly one. I manipulate everyone I meet. Jacob Lane is next up, who's given himself the title of the kids call me Hoju. The kids can call you Hoju. Because Jacob Lane used to be our Simpsons auditor.

Yeah, that's right. But that must have become a burden pretty quick. Oh, God, absolutely. I think it must have. We weren't paying him much. And that, I mean, nothing. And I think we also, I feel like we've dropped way off on the Simpsons quotes as well. Yeah, they come and go.

They ebb and flow. Yeah. But that's a good one. The kids call me Hoju. Jacob also has a question writing, I'm in Melbourne in December to see TISM, of course. Dave and I will also be there, Jacob. We'll be there, Jacob. Let's hang.

And I was wondering if you guys have any suggestions of anything else for me to do while I'm there. Like going to an Irish pub, for example. Yeah, there's a few. Elephant and Wheelbarrow on Bourke. Well, that's more of a British pub, Jess. I don't know why you're trying to give Jacob the bum steer here. He asks Irish pubs. Irish pubs are for me.

Nobody else in my Irish pub. Yeah, you go to the British ones, you dog. Well, obviously, Jacob, you've got to enjoy the coffee and the laneways. What's a – is there any – because you're a coffee fan. What's a place you should go if you were going to go experience good coffee? Are the ones at the United service stations, are they as good as people say? Yeah, absolutely. Not as good as a 7-Eleven, obviously.

Or Jack's Cafe at Hungry Jack's. Jack's Cafe. They are pretty good. We have a thing over here, Jacob, I don't know if you've heard of it, McCafe. Oh, yeah, McCafe. They're everywhere. Was that Scottish? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Way back when we did the McDonald's Jacob, I don't know if you've heard of it, McCafe. Oh, yeah, McCafe. They're everywhere. Was that Scottish? Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Way back when we did the McDonald's episode, I forget who did it, but there was a fact that I found interesting. I think Australia was the first one to have McCafes. Yeah, that's right. Maybe it's still the only ones. I don't know. No, I think they're elsewhere now, but they started here.

That's a funny fact. Yeah. Yeah. What do you do in Melbourne? Is that the question? What do you do in Melbourne? Is that the question? Yeah, yeah. What do you do in Melbourne? If you were traveling, and I know Jacob, I believe, is from Perth.

Go to the museum. The museum's cool. Yeah, you should if you've been watching, especially if you've been watching our Artifact series. Yeah. I mean, go check out any of those, Heidi or the NGV. Yeah, that's great and free. Go have a beer with Chloe at Young and Jackson.

Yeah, do that. That's cool. But, yeah, there's like the Melbourne Museum is really cool as well. What else is there? Footy's over by then. You might be able to catch some cricket at the MCG, which is fun. If you like to get a bit of real culture. If you want to do some shopping,

you can get a bus out to Chadston, the fashion capital. Oh, yes. Take that Milan. You could see the Rialto. Oh, you've got to see the Rialston, the fashion capital. Oh, yes. Take that Milan. You could see the Rialto. Oh, you've got to see the Rialto, Jacob. You're crazy if you don't. You could, of course, shop at the Paris end of Collins Street. Yes, that's right.

If you are in the Paris end of Collins Street, there's Loon. You can get a really good croissant. Oh, I mean, they don't call it the Paris Inn for nothing, do they? Exactly right. There's a croissant shop. I mean, so many great suggestions here, Jacob. Jacob, you should kick that off in the Facebook Patreon group because there's a fair few Melbournians in there who will have better.

I don't think we do enough stuff. Go see some comedy. What's one of the – go see a show at the Comedy Republic. Yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely do that. It's one of the... Go see a show at the Comedy Republic. Yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely do that. It's just a cool bar as well. It's a great bar downstairs and then go up and see a show there. Yeah.

Pretty much any night, you know, most nights of the week they'll have a great show on there. That'd be a hot tip. I think you should post on the Facebook group for the Patreon because fellow patron Matthew Webb does Melbourne tours. That's a great suggestion. And has some amazing info. Yeah.

Matthew's got. You do a tour with him and then he could tell you anywhere you want to go. Yeah. He'll tell you where to go. So if you just want him to tell you to fuck off, he'll do that. He'll do that. Yeah. You know, if you tip well.

Yeah. He's running a business here. It's a weird system, but the more you pay, the more he'll tell you to fuck off if you want him to. Matthew's very good in that way. Incredible. Very generous. Thank you, Jacob, for that question.

It's funny. I always think, I've really got to see Melbourne like a tourist sometime. I always forget to do it. So I don't know any things. You could walk down Sydney Road and go to Stupid Old Studios and record a podcast. That would be pretty cool if you want to do that. And then maybe get Zambreros in your break.

Yeah, get fish and chips from Uber Eats. You know, live like a local. Thank you, Jacob. The next one comes from Michael Derizzi, aka the High King of Noldor. Any ideas of what that means? I like it. It may be revealed in this fact.

Okay. Michael writes, Bop, in the recent Chow Chiller episode, you kept apologizing for being the only one doing the Patreon bonus end of pod content. I just wanted to say, though, that in your absence, it can be worse, far worse. For my shout out some years ago, Matt and Dave, in a Jess replacement, decided that I was some kind of Voltron penis thing. Never apologize.

I don't remember that at all. So a Jess replacement. Never apologize for being probably Meso. Never apologize for being the one and only one. Sorry, I fucking butchered that. Never apologize for being the only one there for us, Bop. You're the best. P.S. Matt and Dave, you're the best too.

Wow, wish he hadn't said that. I was really touched for a bit there. Really watered down your compliment, didn't it? You are the best and they're also the best. Well, I'm glad you gave us that little P.S. there. I appreciate it. That's very nice. I appreciate a talking Voltron penis.

That sounds great, Michael. I can't believe you're spitting in our gift horse's mouth or whatever. That sounds like truly inspired stuff. Yeah. We've done some rubbish ones over the years. Voltron penis. That's funny. That's good stuff.

That's blessed. We blessed you with Voltron's penis, Michael. What a sentence sentence you're welcome that's yours to keep Michael that's a memory you can have forever and

thank Michael thank you so much for listening through to the Patreon section which is everyone's favourite section of the show the final one this week comes from

Vincenzo Bonadonna uh aka mr act how's that spelled e-c-h-t how would you say i don't know i like it uh and we didn't figure out what the hiking of noldor was either no uh but vincenzo has a fact as well. Okay, Mr. X. Writing. Sound travels faster through... Hang on. I never read this. I read them, okay? You just started mumbling these up. Hang on.

When there's a typo, it really stuffs me up. While you're reading that, I'll say the hiking of Noldor looks like a Lord of the Rings thing. Okay, great. That makes sense. And I think Vincenzo has just done a typo, but I think it's meant to be water. Here we go.

Sound travels faster through water than through air. Or if it was as written, sound travels faster through water than through air. But really, this is a suggestion for primates. Ooh. I sent this into the primates Gmail very near the beginning. I'm so sorry. I should never have set up that email.

I lost control of it very early on. I also haven't signed into the book cheat one in so long. I've really, I've got to, I don't know if you can delete them. I should delete them. So it just bounces back. But yeah, I've got a form. I'm going to set that up again when we get primates going in soon. Anyway, a Futurama episode, a clockwork origin,

introducing Dr. Banjo and Orangutan Futurama Futurama episode Fry and Layla's Big Fling Which brings back Gunter from Mars University And Dr. Banjo Two great suggestions I remember we did a Futurama episode With Gunter, maybe his first one

At Mars University But I don't recall doing a Dr. Banjo one. So thanks for those suggestions. And Vincenzo finishes by saying, thank you three for everything. I'm always delighted to be a part of such a wonderful community. Shout out to the Facebook page. That's very nice.

Cheers to you, Vincenzo. Good on you, Vincenzo. Thanks for those facts, quotes, or questions. Like I said, if you want to get involved in that section, you can ask us anything. You can tell us any fact. You can give us any quote. You can do suggestions or brags or whatever you like, really.

And all you need to do is sign up on the Sydney Scheinberg level. You also get to vote more times on topics and all sorts of stuff on that level. The next thing we'd like to do is shout out to a few of our other great supporters. Jess, you normally come up with a little bit of a game for this section. That's true. I think maybe we should assign them each a list they appear in. Okay.

You know how like Seven Wonders of the World or whatever, they can be in a BuzzFeed listicle. Fantastic. I love that very much. So you can do the first one just to really help explain to us what it means. Yeah, I butcher my explanation. No, no, I just butcher my interpretation. The first one I'd love to thank from Blair Athol,

which is where the stewards are from in Perth in Scotland only. This is Blair Athol in New South Wales. I didn't know there was one there. There you go. I think there's a Blair Athol in Victoria as well. But from Blair Athol in New South Wales, Australia, Tim Almonte. Tim Almonte. How do you like your pasta?

I like mine Almonte. Tim Almonte. I like your pasta. I like mine El Monte. Tim El Monte. This is the BuzzFeed list, listicle, which is top ten names that sound like a fancy French dish. Tim El Monte.

Top of the list. Top of the list. And it could also be Tim El Monte. Maybe, I don't know. But it also sounds pretty French. That's very French. It's not El Monte, it's Almonte. Almonte. You sound like an imbecile.

You incident coward. And I'm really loving how this kind of implies that Jess sees the Seven Wonders of the World as a BuzzFeed article. I assume that's where Dave got all his info. That's where I got him. Guilty. Next up, I'd love to thank

from Blackburn in Victoria, Australia, Jeremy Ballard. Dave, what list is Jeremy on? Top 10 people most likely to... I love a run-up. Top 10 Ballards. They're with Tom

and, you know, eight others. Sure, there's other ballads. There's got to be other ballads. Ballads. And bollards. Top ten ballads and bollards. And then the other eight are just photos of bollards blocking streets and stuff. J.G. Ballard, an English novelist.

Dave would know them. Do you know them, Dave? I'd love their work. There's also Thomas Ballard, Virginia colonial politician. Oh, there you go. Dr. Susan Ballard, principal scientist at the Microbiological Diagnostic Unit of Public Health Laboratory. Jeremy, you're in fine company, but you're number one on the list.

There's also Tom Ballard, British mountaineer. Wow, two Toms and a Thomas. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Finally for me, I'd love to thank from Toyohashi in Japan, Ashley Bartholomew. Ashley Bartholomew. From Japan. Very cool.

Have you been to Japan? I have. I've never been. I'd love to go. Have you been to Japan? No, I haven't. Everybody that has gone raves about it, though. Yeah, people love it. I would love to go. But Dave been to Japan? No, I haven't. Everybody that has gone raves about it, though. Yeah, people love it.

I would love to go. But, Dave, you don't like Japanese food. Is that right? No. Yeah, remember, that's where he had shepherd's pie and garlic bread. Oh, that's right. Every night. That was Japan.

Every night. So what list is Ashley on? Top seven non-Japanese dishes in Japan. And what's the Ashley Bartholomew dish? Oh, that's Ashley's special. Yeah. Which is a lasagna, but also a crepe. That's incredible.

Very thin. That's going to be too thin, but it is. It is. It's incredible. That's the Ashley Bartholomew. Like the super thin crepe, then a cheese and tomato, and it's still. very thin. How can it be too thin? But it is. It is. It's incredible. That's the Ashley Bartholomew. Like the super thin crepe, then a cheese and tomato, and it's still. So thin.

Even all of that, it's still thin as a crepe. And that's number two on the list. Number one is obviously Shepherd's Pub with garlic bread. Yeah, obviously. I had an eggplant parma at a pub the other day that was a lasagna. Oh. It wasn't. They did it wrong.

Normally you'd get an eggplant parma and it's like it's crumbed like a chicken. Yeah, a little bit crunchy. Right, and then it's got sauce on top. No, no, no. This was just like layers of eggplant. Oh. It was like a moussaka. But it was also gross.

Yeah. It didn't even taste good. Oh, because I was going to say like a veggie lasagna, that sounds good. Yeah, that sounds delightful. But they'd stuffed up both dishes. Yeah, it wasn't good. Yeah, because you could still use pasta. But the chips and salad, delicious. Right. Oh, that's good. Yeah, I don't like. Yeah, because you could still use pasta. But the chips and salad, delicious.

Right, well, that's good. Yeah, I don't like eggplant that much. No. It's rare. I reckon one in five times I have an eggplant dish. I don't think it's gross. Yeah, I agree. That's not a good one.

I don't play those odds unless I have to. I've had some good eggplant parmas, and I've had some absolute shockers as well. I think I had a pretty good one at the Chippo where we did our gig there years ago in Sydney. Yeah. That's one of the few I remember being okay, which is high praise for a person who hates eggplant. Just fuck off eggplant. Yeah.

I reckon fuck it off. Like if I had to get rid of a vegetable, it might be up there. Top of the list. On a listicle. Yeah. Eggplant, fuck off. Maybe. I feel like I would keep of the list. On a listicle. Yeah. Eggplant. That'd be top of the list. Fuck off. Maybe.

I feel like I would keep it around. Sorry. Aubergine. Yes. Now I feel like if it was called aubergine, I've got a little more time for it. Do you reckon? Just because it's like it's a cool word. Eggplant. I don't eat eggs either, so eggplant.

It's not a nice word, eggplant. No, no, no. Or food. It's not a nice connotation in emoji form either I thought it was a very nice connotation Who wants to do the next three? I'm up for it Go on Dave All the way

Oh my goodness this is amazing We've just had someone from Japan And we've got another person here from Kawasaki In Japan It is Chiharu Nishimoto This is amazing. We've just had someone from Japan, and we've got another person here from Kawasaki in Japan. It is Chiharu Nishimoto. Chiharu Nishimoto is on the 30 Under 30. Oh, yeah. And just being great.

Being the leaders of tomorrow. Wow. Today. That's right. It's like watch these names, you know. If you are older than 30, this is obviously like a backdated issue. Yeah. That's from whenever you were under 30.

That's right. And if you have, if you are older now, my word, have you not reached your potential? Yes, you have. We're all very proud of you. You're one of the few. There's a few where are they now type people on that list. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you are over 30. That's right. But if you aren't. If you aren't, then I'm looking at the future. Wow. That is fine. That's pure coincidental that we had two Japanese shout-outs in a row. Very, very cool.

I'd like to thank now from West Harp Tree in Great Britain, George Wright. George Wright. On the listicle of people who are right by name and right by nature. Just people getting it done. George Wright, top of the list. You know what George has done? He's been out there. He's been working the fields.

He's been picking up ladies' bags when they drop them. Old ladies who can't bend down and get them. He'll be there. Is that to help them? To help them. He'll be there. Is that to help them or? To help them. Okay, good. He's doing it right and he trims hedges even when they're not his hedges. Okay, that's an overstep, but okay.

As a favour, he always asks first. He always asks first, you need a little trim hedge? I say, what? Does he ask the hedge? Sorry, I had something about, sorry. Do you need your hedge trimmed there? And I'll say, yeah, that'd be fantastic. I thought he was asking the hedge for permission rather than the person. He will ask both.

You're right there, hedge. I'll sort you out. You need a little trim. Short back and sides. Hey, there you go. Hey, you're right. Hey, you're right. Hey, hey.

Ooh, shh, shh, shh. You're right. I'll give you a little trim here. Oh, he's putting it down. Anyway, yeah, he's on the top ten list of rights by name. Rights by name. Rights by name. George Wright, thank you so much.

I'd like to also thank from Pasco Vale here in Victoria, Australia. It's Hilsey, everyone. Hilsey. Hilsey. Adam Hills, do you think? Maybe. There is only one L. It's like they've combined Will Anderson and Adam Hills into one name.

And it's Hilsey. Hilsey. Hilsey. Hilsey. I've made that on the list of top ten people mistaken for Adam Hills. Yeah. Along with Will Anderson. Will Anderson.

Who else is on that list? Probably Alan Brough. Alan Brough. Yeah, you'd get it. Miff, I guess. Yeah. If you run him by that. Jill, I suppose, as well.

All the Specs and Specs associates. I guess if you can run them by that gel I suppose as well by association all the speaks and specks associates and Wiggo Anderson and number one is Hilsey because we've done it here

we've done it right here and we apologise for that Hilsey you deserve better than that sorry Hilsey that's on us apologise Hilsey but good to see you top of that list

and thanks so much for your support in the beautiful neighbourhood of Pasco Vale not too far from it. Just a stone's throw away from Brunswick here. Quite the stone.

It's a big piff. Yeah, it's a big old piff. I love the word piff. It's a big old piff. You're chucking it all the way over West Brunswick and the rest of Brunswick to get it to Pasco Vale. But I reckon, you know, they've just did it with a flag. So you could piff. You could piff with your leg. I mean, it's, they've just did it with a leg. So you could piff.

You could piff with your leg. I mean, it's kicking is what a lot of people call it, but you call it leg piffing, don't you? Yeah, I call it leg piffing. Thank you for using my preferred term. Can I thank some people? That would be awesome. Great.

I would love to thank from Belfast, Mike Lawrenson. Mike Lawrenson. Mike Lawrenson is on the list Dave I'll kick this off and you can bring it home Dave Mike Lawrenson is on the list for the top 13 bakers who've made a

bakers dozen that's perfect because the list has 13 that is good that's a nice list you're making it like that's a rare thing That's perfect because the list has 13. Incredible. That is good stuff. That's a nice list. You're making it like that's a rare thing for bakers to do. Yeah, but that is.

Of children. They've had 13 kids. Is that what you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Credit. Bakers who've birthed 13 children. That's nice. That's a good list, actually.

What a list. That's a nice list, actually. What a list. Yeah. That's a nice list. Can you do a Belfast accent, Bob? No. I'd have to think of that guy from Cold Feet. I'd have to hear his voice to be able to do it. Yeah.

I can't think of it. James Nesbitt, is that his name? Yeah. Sure thing. That's a name I recognise and I know the guy you're talking about. Are they the same person? Not sure. I don't know either.

I don't know. But I recognise the name. Okay, yeah, great. He's a Northern Irish. I don't know if he's from Belfast. I can't do Northern Irish. I love it. Can't do it.

Hi, I'm James Nesbitt. I take it back. You've nailed that. Wow. I would also love to thank from Vienna in Austria. I'd love to thank SR. SR. How do you spell that?

E-S. Yes. A-R. S-R. S-R. S-R. It is the letters S-R. S-R, correct. Senior.

That's my dad's name. Surely it's going to be top 8 people who use two initials in their name yeah like P.T. Barnum right E.M. Forster yep

um W.A. Jordan uh what's that that Wells guy W.C. Fields H.G. Wells if you said him

yeah and then J.R. just J.R. J.R. Puff and stuff is that a thing S.R. S.R.'s on the list sorry S.R. I said J.R. I was thinking of J.R. JR Puff and stuff. Is that a thing? SR.

SR's on the list. Sorry, SR. I thought you said JR. I was thinking of JR Tolkien. Anyway, SR. Thank you so much. JR Tolkien, of course, not on the list. Is it straight? Yeah, absolutely.

Kicked out. Get the fuck off my list. And finally, I would love to thank from Northgate in Queensland. I would love to thank Jessica Cooper. Coops. I believe that is. I've met Coops. I believe that is. I've met Coops. I know Coops.

If I'm thinking of the right person. Apologies if I'm not. Just yelled. It's a relatively common name. Coops. Jessica Cooper. Yeah, it is actually. But either way, you're Coops to me.

That's nice. Big fan of the Coops. The Coops family. And what list are the Coopers on? In particular, Jessica. Another Jessica Jess. Yeah, it's actually the top ten Jessicas. Wow.

And may I remind you, it was the most popular girl's name for about a ten-year period. So to get into the top 100 is actually an incredible list. To make it to the top ten, Jessica Koopa, I mean, that is an achievement. You're putting that on your resume, that's in your Insta bio, like that's huge. That is big. That is big.

Wow, that is big time. Yeah. Jessica Cooper will be the reason that the name Jessica comes back in fashion. Oh, yes. Any day now. It's coming back. Last time I was in town in Brisbane, Jessica and I went to Rick's

and tore the town apart. Or at least that one bar. That sounds right. We were much older than everyone else there, dancing it up. Rick's. Pretty cool actually. Pretty cool. Pretty cool to actually think about that. No Matt, that's actually incredibly cool.

I'll have you know. Hey Grandpa, get off the dance floor. Yeah. I don't know what, yeah. That sort of cool stuff. That's cool. Stallone was calling you a... He's getting called old by Stallone. A bit rich, Sly.

Yeah. Come on, mate. Have a look in the mirror, mate. Yeah. Okay? You ain't no spring chicken. No. And nothing wrong with that.

That's fine. But, like, don't... You know? Why are you calling me old? Why are you calling me old? I'm younger than you. Well, I'm not younger than you, but... No, but he doesn't know that. He doesn't know that. I look... I I'm younger than you. Well, I'm not younger than you. No, but he doesn't know that.

He doesn't know that. I could be younger than you. I've got beautiful skin for my age. Yeah, you look incredible. So thank you very much to Jessica, Esa, Mike, Hilsey, George, Chiharu, Ashley, Jeremy, and Tim. The last thing we'd like to do is go through some very, very special supporters and welcome them into our Triptych Club.

To be involved in this, you just have to be signed up on the shout-out level or above for three straight years and then you get welcomed into the club. It's a club. You're allowed in but you're never allowed out again. It's lifelong membership whether you like it or not. And hopefully that sounds good to you you know not sinister at all we're trying to make this sound appealing so hopefully you like

that uh so normally what happens here is a bit of theory of the mind i'm standing on the door this is a genuine club yeah clubhouse it's a bar it's everything there's booze if you want you know there's there's massages and it's like you can get a mani-pedi. We got one of the whole feet from that Colossus thing or whatever. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, we've got shops in there. There's a photos place. There's a toe ring shop.

We got all that in there. But like cool toe rings. Yeah. But no buttons. Dave, we vetoed Dave. Apparently. Dave wanted to put it in the button shop Good luck if you're down so hard that your jeans break

Because we can't fucking fix them And Sylvester Stallone's on the side going Hey, man, do it in your pants Dave, if there was a button shop You could go buy yourself a new button And then what are you going to do? You don't know how to put it back together. What we need is a tailor. Yeah. A seamstress.

Jess suggested a haberdashery section. At least then you'd have some thread and needle and stuff. Exactly. You're just like, no, I just want buttons. I like buttons. You just... What if I could, mate? What if I could? Don't they just stick back on? I don't understand.

Oh, Dave. Oh, Dave. Oh, David. Sweet, sweet Dave. You stupid idiot. You beautiful fool. So anyway, it's a club, and I'm standing on the door. I've got the velvet rope there. I've got a clipboard with a list of names.

This week we have five names on it. I'm going to read out your name. Dave's on stage inside the club. He's got the microphone. He is the master of ceremonies. He's there to hype you up, welcome you in. Everyone else has been in. They're clapping along to your name. They're chanting along.

Clap. David. Sly's there. Sly never, you know, he's sort of an honorary member. Jess there is behind the bar, but she's sort of like Dave's Paul Schaefer type. Yeah. She's mixing cocktails. I work sunnies. She's organizing some dishes. She's playing the keyboards. That's right. But Dave's Paul Schaefer type. Yeah. She's mixing cocktails. I like sunnies.

She's organising some dishes. She's playing the keyboards. That's right. But she's also hyping Dave up. Yeah. Because Dave isn't the best MC and Jess is there to make sure he I am the best MC and she's there for me. Yes.

That's what I meant. Hey, this week I actually thought of something to serve for food. Oh, fantastic. Because you know how usually I don't? Yeah. Well, this time in honour of all these big, amazing statues, I've made a life size version of myself made out of sandwiches that's fantastic just little finger sandwiches

they're all different oh that's so good it's fun yeah i'm gonna start off that's cute start with a belly button in honor of the seven wonders of the world. I've made myself out of sandwiches. Here it is, the eighth wonder of the world. And it's Lifesize, so it's five foot seven. It's not actually that impressive in terms of like grand scheme of things. But in terms of like sandwich display, that's pretty good. A sandwich person, I'm impressed. That's huge for a sandwich person.

That's massive. So Jessica, what about that? And a drink? Do you normally have a seven wonders of the world cocktail? Yes, so what I've done is I've actually made, I've had custom glassware made of you guys. Oh. And I'm going to fill them with water and then people can be like, who's this tall drink of water?

And it'll finally be true about you. Wow. The ninth and tenth wonders of the world. And Dave, you normally. The glasses. I'm honoured. Yeah. You're really cute. Thank you know... The glasses. I'm honoured. Yeah, you're really cute. Thank you so much, Jess.

And Dave, you normally book a band as well for the after party? Absolutely. Tonight we are blessed by the White Stripes playing the hardest button to button over and over again. Do they have that moving drum? Do it. Yeah, that's right. Fantastic.

All right. Well, there's five names I'm about to induct. Dave, are you ready? I'm so ready to welcome them in. The latest legends. All right. First up, I'd love to welcome in from Alton in Hampshire in Great Britain. It's Philly Ellis.

Are you Philly jealous? No, I'm Philly Ellis. That is good. From Corumban in Queensland, Australia, it's Joel Broome? No, I'm Philly Ellis. That is good. From Corumban in Queensland, Australia, it's Joel Broome. Oh, Broome Broome. From Butt in MT in the United States, it's Anita Matthews. I'm thirsty.

I need a drink. And then Anita Matthews. From Moncrief in the Australian Capital Territory, it's Nick Lucas. Oh, somebody stole my heart. No, they nicked my heart. Nick Lucas. That's good stuff. And finally from Muggle Willie Street in New South Wales,

it's Christian Every. You are my Christian everything. Yes. Welcome in Christian, Nick, Anita, Joel, and Philly. Where is MT in the US, Dave? Doesn't matter. Welcome all of them in Montana, maybe. Doesn't matter.

The big sky country. Isn't that what Montana is? It's Montana. Wow. I'd love to go there. Thank you so much to Christian, Nick, Anita, Joel, and Philly. I'd also love to visit Elton, Corumban, Butt, Moncrief, and Wonga Willie Street.

Thanks so much for joining us, all of you. Make yourselves at home. Please enjoy The White Stripes, repeating that relatively short song over and over. Enjoy some of Jess's fine tall glasses of water. And sandwiches. Sandwiches. And these are just the right temperature, is that correct? Sandwiches. Tall glasses of water. And sandwiches. Sandwiches. And these are just the right temperature.

Is that correct? Sandwiches. Boiling hot. You know how people go to see stuff recreated in Lego? Yeah. Hot sandwiches. No, but not toasted. They're just really hot.

Because Dave wanted, that's great for Dave. He wanted a hot toasted sandwich. Yeah. It's not toasted. It's just hot. I'll have a margarita pizza. Yeah, people go to just line up to see stuff made at Lego. I would genuinely go to a place where they'd recreated

Wonders of the World and people out of sandwiches. Yeah. That's way more interesting to me. Thank you. Sure. Well done. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode. Jess, what else do we need to tell people before we go?

That if they want to suggest a topic, they can do so. There's a link in the show notes. There's also, you can find it on our website, which is dogoonpod.com, which is where you can find a whole bunch of things. You can listen to old episodes and you can buy merch. And we love you. And we hope that that thing that you were worried about has cleared up.

Yeah. That rash. It's not as big as you thought it was. Yeah. Hopefully that rash is not as big as you thought it was yeah hopefully hopefully that rash is not as big as you thought it was yeah oh that's something quite small it's a small rash dave buddha's home we'll be back next week with another episode but until then i'll say thank you so much for listening and goodbye We'll see you next time. and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now.

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