Do Go On - 359 - What Happened To The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World?

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

We've all heard of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, but how many can you name? And what if I told you only one of them is still standing... So what the heck happened to the rest? Dave is back from his holiday to answer that question.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSee us live: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/  Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Check out our new merch! : https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ Watch out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:Discovery Channel Doco:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3RbnQlbyqw https://education.nationalgeographic.org/resource/seven-wonders-ancient-world http://www.amazeingart.com/seven-wonders/7-wonders.html https://www.britannica.com/list/new-seven-wonders-of-the-world Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Welcome to another episode of Do Go One. My name is Dave Ornikey and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins.

And boy, boy, are we happy that you're back? Because we've had to do that intro for the last little while. And let me just say one of us is slightly better at it than the other, but we both suck. But one sucks slightly more. That's correct. Yes. And I won't say who, but I did point. So Dave knows.

And the audience I feel knows. All right. Yes, stop being so hard on yourself. You did a fine job, okay? I did my best, that's for sure. I've been listening back. I've been loving it. I can enjoy the show as someone as a listener.

Oh yeah, it's great when you're not on it. While I was the way I loved listening to the Chow Chiller episode. Oh, yeah, that was a good one. Yeah. Have you already forgotten that, Dave? That was your report. Yes, no, I remember them all. That must be nice.

Oh, it must be nice. And, yeah, I wake up thinking about that. Yeah. It's been a few months since we've seen Dave. It's been about a month since Jess has seen me. I guess it's also been a couple of months since Dave has seen Jess and I. That's correct. Yes.

That all adds up. Does that cover everyone? It's been one week since you looked at me. I tried to hold back. I was going to say it. But well done. But it's, yeah, so I mean for listeners, we'll not have felt like we've missed a beat because Dave,

we had some fantastic guests in your stead. Some absolute bangers, and I appreciate them stepping up and filling out these shoes so well that they're a bit big now. You left for not that long, and now the three longest ever episodes, I think, were recorded in your absence. Yeah, we need you. We need you to rain us in, Dave. So I'm so excited to get this ep done in under an hour. Let's get it done. Give me five minutes.

Including Patreon. Hey, Dave, maybe, because you've been away for a little while, I can explain. explain to you how this show works. Please remind me. So one of the three of us, it's you this week, so hopefully you do remember that, goes away and research as a topic, usually suggested by a listener or listeners, and we'll go away, we'll research, we'll learn, we'll take it in, we'll soak it in, and then we'll write up a sort of an old school report, bring it back to the class,

read it out, while the other two, politely listen without interruption. Certainly no tedious tangents or any. such things. No bad riffs. No silliness, that's for sure. If there's ever a bad riff, you better believe it gets edited out. Yeah. So if we hear it, if you hear a riff, that means we think it was good. Or if you hear a riff that's, that is bad, we're being ironic. Yes. Oh, that's a good point. Or you're wrong. Yeah, you just don't get it. Ever thought about that? You just don't get it. Should also say the report givers also the editor. So whatever's left in, that's on Dave this week. Dave, absolutely. We normally start our reports with a question.

Do you have a question to kick us off this week? I have not forgotten that. And here is my question for you. A super exciting, cool question that is, the Great Pyramid of Giza. It's the only surviving member of what extremely cool club? The Seven Wonders of the World. Correct, sir.

Wow. This is mind blown. The seven pyramids of the world. It's the only, can you repeat the question? The Great Pyramid of Giza is the only surviving member of what extremely cool club in the answer. The hanging gardens of the world. Babylon. That's one.

Is it really? That's another one. Sorry, I just, the haze came down. And I'm sorry that I'm shocked that you know this.

Keep going. I don't know if I know it. Is there one that's like pink steps or something? No. The pink steps of Persia. Is that one?

No. Okay, what are we got? The Garden of Eden. Okay. So it's multiple gardens. My Nana's Garden. Of Eden. It was beautiful.

of East Bentley. So these are the seven ancient wonders of the world. Oh, cool. Are there seven modern wonders? They are, which we will discuss. Oh, my God. How exciting. They're all in Melbourne, the Rialto.

Yeah. The beautiful. DeGraves Street. Oh, DeGraves. Marvel Stadium. Got that MCG. Coffee culture. Coffee culture is a bad.

It's a little less tangible, that one, but it's there. Oh, you can feel it. Yeah, you can feel it. I'm sure it feels. less tangible to, you know, outsiders. Yes. But you come to Melbourne, you're like, ooh, that is tangible. Because outsiders will be like, oh, we also do coffee to us, you know, very similar to this.

And we go, no, you don't. In a lane way and they'll say, yeah, yeah, in a lane way. We start sweating. Yeah, we're like, oh, we've like a pop of coffee machine. Please don't take this from us. You grind the beans, do you? This is strangely one of our things. We're very proud of it.

Next you're going to tell me that you're one of dozens of cities that have trams. Yeah, that's true. And have many kinds of weather? You have multiple seasons? That's ours. What an identity. This topic, The Seven Ancient Wonders of the World,

has been suggested by Jack Godin, Blake Wilde from Yuma, Arizona, Peter Williams from Johannesburg, South Africa, and Jessica English from Mound, Minnesota. Mound. Mound. Fantastic. Yeah.

She's from Mound. I just recently. It's really tickled. I want to put that on the Golden Mile. How far out of range is it from Ohio, the great state of God's Country, Ohio, Gary, Indiana, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Can I add it to the track? I'll give you a coordinates from Gary, Indiana.

Yeah. It will take you. There we go. It is but a short. Yes. Seven hour, nine minute drive. Fantastic. Easy, easy.

Golden Mile. Yeah. Let's call it the golden baker's mile now. It's a little longer. That's better. And I want to remind everyone, no tedious tangents or bad rich. All right. Then don't worry about what I'm going to say.

And certainly, no interrupting Jess multiple times when she starts the sentence. Sorry, Jess, I'll take this one. No, just just just here English recently. One of it in the last couple of weeks was on the fact quote a question or a shout out. After I spent a solid five minutes talking. about how I didn't like to be called Jessica and I could never find any novelty things that just said Jess

and then I was like and the next is Jessica English I'm sure you like it and that's great I just don't like it so just an apology I think Jessica's fantastic I agree yeah and she's from Mound you think Mound is good yeah very close to Mound I'm lost in the map now

in Minnesota there's a place called Minnetonka oh Minnetonka Minnesota oh that's amazing I'm moving to Minutes Minotonka. Mound and Minotonka, Minnesota. That's good stuff.

They're my twin cities. They are both on the outskirts of the Twin Cities. Or the Twin City of Minneapolis. So there you go. No, no. Mound and Minotonka are now the Twin Cities. Fuck Minneapolis. Okay, so the so-called seven wonders of the ancient world

were architectural and artistic feats scattered across the Middle East, North Africa and Southern Europe. At one stage or another, all seven. Forgotten where to pause. Don't forget how to talk. At one stage or another, all seven stood within the Greek Empire. In 336 BCE, Alexander the Great's conquests unified ancient Greece. Basically, he conquered all of the known world to him at the time from Greece all the way to northern India.

and this brought together the civilizations of the Babylonians, the Persians, the Egyptians and of course the Greeks. And now they were all under one ruler. People started to travel across the vast empire to do a bit of sightseeing. You know, to see what the other older cultures had to offer. And people started to put together what were essentially travel guides outlining the amazing must-see sites. According to Amazing Art, which is one of my favorite sources for this report,

The Greeks did not initially conceive of these monuments as wonders, but they use the Greek word themata, which means sites or things to be seen. Okay, yeah. But that doesn't sound quite as good. There's seven ancient things to be seen of the world. Yeah, seven ancient sites. That's not too bad.

Seven ancient thematters, though. That's beautiful. That sounds good. That is nice. English ruins everything. Jessica English ruins everything. Like the name Jess. Say it properly.

No, good on you, Jessica. Good on you. Good on you. Doing a great job there. Maybe she doesn't mind Jess. Maybe she doesn't. Maybe she likes Jesse, which is psycho, but that's fine. Or sicker.

Sicker. Yep. Or Acciage. It's an option. Akeesge. It's Jessica backwards. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Yeah.

There's debates as to where the list comes from, as many ancient writers across Europe and Middle East themselves debated the topic as to what the top seven were. History.com writes, the original list comes from a work by Philo of Byzantium, written in 225 BC called On the Seven Wonders. That sounds pretty accurate, you know, pretty close to the bone here. But apparently Herodotus often referred to as the father of history, apparently also wrote a list and he was alive two centuries earlier.

But his writing on the subject doesn't survive, but has been referenced in surviving works. So there's debate as to who came out with the list. According to archaeologists Peter Clayton and Martin Price, the list that we have today only became fixed in the Renaissance. So a long time after the fact. But a long time ago still. Yeah, that's still ages. That's so long ago.

Sure, it was 2,000 years after their time, but it's still 500 years before our time. But generally, what I'm trying to cover myself is the seven ancient ones of the world are generally accepted as being the Great Pyramid of Giza, the hanging gardens of Babylon, Matt. The pink steps of Persia. Yes, yep.

Do you have any other guesses, Jess? No idea. The Statue of Zeus at Olympia. Oh. The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus. The mausoleum at Harley Canassas. The Colossus of Rhodes. And finally, the lighthouse of Alexandria.

Wow. If we were to look at them on a modern Atlas, two of the wonders were in Greece, two in Turkey, two in Egypt, and one in Iraq. But notice I said, were. This episode is What Happened to the Seven Ancient Wonders of the World You did kind of give that away when you said Yeah, the Gies was the only surviving one

But still. Hey, that was still exciting. No, I still look, that's true. I still gasped. I gasped as well, but I wasn't sure why I did. Do you gasp it, Jess gasping? Yeah, it's the same. If I'm watching people applaud, I applaud.

Yeah, even if it's on TV. Oh, I do that too, but that's mostly from doing TV audience warm-up. and I think I've dropped the bar. Oh, sorry, we're clapping, we're clapping. Oh, God. Do you say that when you do an audience warmup? We're clapping, we're clapping, we're clapping. We're clapping.

And we're stopping, we're stopping. We're wooing, madam. I haven't seen the project in a while, but it does pick up in the audience mics. You saying that? Oh, absolutely. The people at home otherwise don't realize that they're clapping. You've got a mic the audience warm up guy. Everyone needs to.

My mic's louder than the hosts. And rapping there, Waleed. Now, I'm going to go through these in historical. order of when they were created. Okay, so like chronological. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's another word for it, but I prefer the Greek. Historical.

You're going to go through this in historical order. Great. Thermata. Thamata. Okay, we'll go chronologically. You're absolutely right. Absolutely right. I'm never right.

Do you have any idea which of the seven is the oldest? I'm going to say which everyone you're going to talk about first. And that is, amazingly enough, the only ancient Wonder still standing is also the older. Wow, there you go. By a long, long way. Wow. I mean, this shows how much I don't understand time.

Yeah. You know, history and stuff. Yeah, it's wild that that is older than everything else. Like the pyramids saw these other wonders come and go. Still laughing. That's incredible. That must feel really good to be that pyramid. Just sitting there all smug.

Yeah. Well, that's why it's a geeseer. Sitting back, oh, yeah, these fucking things. What that takes was. No, that was getting in. That was, Geese. Hey, you fucking, oh yeah, you got a bit of a statue there, do you? Yeah, nice one, Geezer.

It's dropping. I'm staying. Here we go. Fuck off, you toilet, eh? Shut that fucking lid, you felt-faced fuck. You Muppet fucker. We really lost you for a second there. It's amazing.

So they have sex with the Muppets. You felt-face-fucker. You felt-face fucker. You and Gonzo then, all right, eh? All right. Tickle me, Elmo, you fuck. So the great pyramids of Giza are located at Giza on the west bank of the Nile River north of Cairo in Egypt. Three pyramids of different height were constructed between 2575 and 2465 BCE, which is 4,500 years ago.

Wow. It's a long... 4,500. Wow. That's crazy. It was quite a while before the Saints won that one. The FFL, AFL, AFL, Premiership in 1966. The good news is the pyramid stood the test of time long enough to see that.

Yes. Now they can let go. Yeah, that's right. Back into the sand. They're slowly letting go. They're holding out just for one more. One more. And another 4,500 years ought to do it.

Is the cat person involved? The Sphinx is very close by in the same precinct. Right, but not, was never seen as a wonder. No, not considered one of the wonders. But there's also debate as to how old that is. Some people are like, this thing's 25,000 years old. It's not, but some people claim that. Because the aliens did it.

Yeah, wow. So each of the three pyramids are thought to have been built as a tomb for a different pharaoh. That's a predominant theory. The largest pyramid, the northernmost and oldest of the group, was built for Pharaoh Kufu, also known in Greek as Chiops. The second king of the fourth dynasty, it's known as the Great Pyramid. of Kufu. Yeah.

Not surprisingly. The Great Pyramid originally stood at 146.6 meters tall or 481 feet, meaning that it was unsurpassed as the tallest man-maned structure in the world for approximately 3,800 years. Wow. That is ridiculous. Wow. And it's actually debated whether it was the Eiffel Tower in 1889 or the Lincoln Cathedral spire in England built in 1,300 that unseated the pyramid.

I mean spires. I feel like spires. Take them out of. If you take the spire off, take spies. It wasn't until the Eiffel Tower that humans had made a tall structure. You know, that's wild. This is what happened to the Rialto. It lost its crown as a tallest building in Melbourne when, I'm not even going to name it because I can't even

remember, but some other building put a spire on the top. That doesn't fricking count. That can't go up it. Yeah. That's uninspired architecture. Uninspired. Well, it's spired architecture, but it's uninspiring in my books. Yeah.

That's good stuff. It's a stick. It's a stick. It doesn't count. Who cares? We can all wave a flag on top of it. Look, I put a big stick on my head. Look at me.

I'm the tallest woman in the world. Oh, look. Jess is now 12 feet tall. Look at that. That's a big stick. That's a big stick. That's a big stick. That's a big stick.

It's too big, honestly. Jeez, that's an impressively big stick. You're holding a head there, Jess. That's a longest stick in the world. Oh, have a look at that stick. I say that sticks the eighth one with the world. It's a beautiful stick. The length of each side of the Great Pyramid at the base averages 755 feet or 2 and

230 meters each side, meaning in title it covers an area of 13 acres. This thing's big. Yeah. And they really are an engineering marvel. Are you laughing because I thawed? I was kind of laughing at Dave's. This is big. It's like, yeah, mate.

Yeah, no. It's big stuff. You don't have to convince us. We agree. We agree. By Maminita Blow your mind with historian Mark Van de Mirup, who puts the incredible construction into context. He wrote, we estimate that it contained 2,300,000 blocks of stone

with an average of 2 and 3 quarter tons for each stone, some weighing up to 16 tons. Kufu ruled 23 years, according to the Royal Canon, which would mean that throughout his reign annually 100,000 blocks, which is daily about 285 blocks, or one every two minutes of daylight, had to be quarried, transported, dressed and put in place. Every two minutes they had to put a block in for 23 years.

Cofu, what a madman. That sounds awful. You beth. Hey, you get them blocks ready. You get them ready. Get them dressed. Get them quarried. We get them putting them in this big triangle thing up here.

All right. Then we'll have a couple of points to knock off. We really lose him, but it's beautiful to watch. It's so, so beautiful. Just like any kind of manual labour like that, to me, Just, oh, kill me. If someone would say, build this pyramid or die, I just lie down. I'd be like, just take me now, thank you.

I'm to kind of move that every fucking two minutes. Two minutes. No, thank you. I'm more of like a sit at a desk. Stir out of window and contemplate kind of work. Do you need any admin need to be done for this? I must insist I need a standing desk. Yeah, I do need to stand.

I'm an active person. Happy to like go to the gym and the leg press. Yeah, obviously not active enough to move stone. No, no, no, got note, got no, got no. But I do want to look after my spine. Jess, you'd be one of the first people picked at a big rock moving. Well, that's what I mean. It's deceptive. You're just strong, aren't you?

You just lie on your back and you just sort of just kick the... Yeah, I'm strong for like half an hour at a time. Well, I think we're doing a six. Oh, God. Just put a bullet in me. Half an hour on, half an hour off. Jess, you're hired. There's a spot over there.

I want it. we'll lie down there, we'll just put the blocks in front of you, kick them into the pyramid. This is part of why like, you know, I love the idea when people buy houses and do DIY projects themselves and like self-rentive it. I'm like, good for you, but apps are fucking literally not. Never in a million years. You know you can pay people to do that, right? Oh, God.

Oh, I don't want to do anything. What do you call it when there's some term they say when it's ready to go? Is there a term? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a period during lockdown. where I watch so many house shows, but all that knowledge is now gone. I know what you mean, though.

But there would always, there'd be a couple looking for a house, and one of them's like, hey, I'd prefer to, you know, we could save a bit of money and have a do it yourself place.

And the other one's like, I want it to be G to G. Yeah. But I can't remember what the term was. Me either. I don't know what you mean. It was a housey term. Like the most I'd do is paint.

And even then I'd be like, oh, God, somebody else do it. I'll make sandwiches. Painters need some. sandwiches. I'll put the kettle on. You,

you please just do the painting. I'm like right now, I'd paint a wall for a sandwich and a cup of tea. Great. Come on over. And the good news, Jess, is they'll put in place every two minutes

and it wasn't like they just threw them down anyway. They were put in place with extreme precision. All four sides are accurately oriented to the four cardinal points of the compass and they are aligned north-south with an accuracy of up to 0.05 degrees. Wow. Wow.

That's pretty accurate. It's really accurate. The funny thing is when they set out to make this thing, it was meant to be a barn. But they failed, but they failed beautifully. People were like, where's the door? Oh, fuck. Barns have doors. How do you get a chaos in?

Shit. Shit. The biggest enduring mystery of the pyramids is how were they built? A question that is still debated. The Greeks police. that the pyramids, this is a long time later, they thought that pyramids were built with slave labour, although evidence uncovered in the 20th century shows work is living on site.

And this, as well as other evidence, led to many to dispute this fact. And instead, most experts proposed the pyramids were actually built by highly skilled labourers. Right, and they only know that because somebody was keeping a spreadsheet of all... At a standing desk. And that, you need those people as well.

You need those people. Happy to be that person. You know? You need a day off. for a wedding, funeral, whatever, you come and see Jess. She schedules it for you. You know, no worries. Jess English, are we talking about?

Yeah, Jessica English. You were telling me the Great Pyramid of Giza had an HR department. Surely! How do you manage that many people without HR? Are you kidding me? Dave, you've been a bit unrealistic, man. I thought you would tell them the story. People still wonder, getting back to the story.

How did they move millions of stone blocks weighing up to 16 tons? One common explanations that they may have used a ramp. A slopeing A simple explanation A sloping and encircling Embankment of brick earth and sand Which was increased in height And length as the pyramid rose

And then the stone blocks Were possibly hauled up the ramp By means of sledges Rollers and levers And people with very strong legs I love people having a guess like this Yeah Probably ramp

Cisselift Yeah Probably I probably To move them around, they're very strong. There was a bridge nearby, so it could have been a Noga. It was already there when they got there. So it was easy.

They're like, oh yeah, great. Sweet, I wanted to. Leave it as is. Oh, this is moving ready. What is that fucking, what is it? What is it? People are probably yelling at their iPods right now. I can't think of the term either.

I think it probably is like moving ready. Yeah. You know, like it's just. There's probably no real term. Is the term perfect when they say this place is perfect? Yes. Yeah. Maybe there, is there no term?

Anyway, Dave, please do go on. One of the reasons people point to things like aliens and supernatural powers building the pyramids is there isn't any recorded evidence of how they built them. There's no plans or inscriptions describing the build or the process or something like that. But the reality is that's probably because they were built by Egyptians using technological means,

which most likely was so common at the time and so basic to them, they felt no need to record them. They're like, yeah, of course that's how we build it. We don't need to write down how we built it. Yeah, because that's what we do. It's obvious. It's funny how, yeah, you kind of, or I always thought, you know, time, as time moves on, we evolve better ways of doing things, we get smarter and stuff, you know,

then hearing from different history podcasts and stuff that there were big dips in technology. Oh, yeah, it's not like it doesn't move in one direction. Yeah, it's not linear, but, you know, like the, wasn't it the aqueducts? like there was this it was very advanced stuff the romans were using if i'm remembering this right and then you know not many generations later they're all in ruins and people like how the fuck do you use these things they're like we don't know how to fix that how do you fix that so funny so they may have just been extremely advanced that's why again why it's important to have someone taking notes yeah yeah i can do that you can write down how what are you doing

what you're doing. Yeah. Explain it to me. I'll write that down. Document the process. Yeah. They might be the only surviving ancient wonders, but they have not survived intact by any means.

I actually did not realize this, but when originally constructed the Great Pyramids, which we all know what they look like. They were... Pyramids. Exactly. Yeah. And they're like, you know,

there's blocks stacked on top of each other. Yeah. But they're actually cased in smooth white limestone over the top. Oh. So like rendered. Yeah. And precisely worked blocks were placed in horizontal layers and carefully fitted together with mortar.

their outward faces cut at a slope and smooth to a high degree. So it was all flat and smooth. I was going to make a joke at the start of like how many times I reckon they've had to repaint or re-render. Yeah. But it really was. Yeah, they were covered in a smooth. That's interesting.

White rock. Go to ruin. Bit disappointing, actually. Who's there looking after it? If I, you know, I remember the mummy. Wasn't there a whole group of people who were meant to be there looking after it? Someone dropped the ball. Someone in HR.

Yeah. There was that hunk on me. horseback? Horseback hunk. He dropped the ball. Credited as. Oh, God. Horseback hunk.

The outer surface of the casing stones were finally polished, so the pyramid shimmered in the bright sun and was visible for miles around. So they already look incredible, but they must have looked amazing. They're like shimmering in the desert sun. That's cool. Over the centuries, the limestone fell away and was later utilized as building material for the city of Cairo. And that is a common occurrence with these wonders. People go, yeah, now I need the...

that to build something else. So they just take down, you know, a beautiful structure. Small bits of it can still be seen on the ground around the Great Pyramid, though. The pyramid was also once topped by a capstone known as, and there's also a new word for me, a pyramid. Pyramidian. Pyramidian. Pyramidian.

The capstone on top of a pyramid. It's like a little pyramid hat. Yeah. Pyramidian. I love it. That's cute. It's not 100% known what this was made of. It could have been limestone, granite or basalt, but some speculate it was made of God.

Yeah, that's what I'm imagining. On top of a white shimmering gold on top, it would have looked so good. It looked like a little gold nipple. That would have been cute. I would have done it with just like corrugated iron, maybe. Yeah. You know, Calibon, steel or whatever. That stuff lasts.

It looks great. You know, you're watering the garden, you get distracted by it. That's how good it looks. Yeah. If the adds it, it would be believed. Because you're in love with your fence. Yeah. God, that's a good fence.

But then the... I love my fence. And just, you know, when you're inside there, you know, mummified or whatever, that beautiful sound of rain on the tin roof. Oh, my God. The rain's, nothing better than that. When you can't get to sleep, then it starts raining, you're like, here we go. It's like a massage for your ears. Yeah, give me five minutes.

I'll be in snooze. Yeah, but then it gets a little too heavy. And you're like, shut the fuck up. Is that thing going to hole? Yeah. Is this Pyramidian going to hole? It's fun, isn't it? But all in all with these losses, the pyramid is now about 8.

meters shorter than it was when it was intact. How impressive is it then? It was even taller. That happens as your age. You lose about eight meters. Yeah, grandma, she used to be, you know, nine meters. Yeah. She's only one.

Apparently the term is move in ready. I was thinking it was going to be more satisfying than that. I'm sorry. I'd love to know what combination of words you search for that. Okay, I can tell you. Real estate word for when you move, when it's ready to move into. When place is good to go. I search term meaning house is ready to move in.

No renovation required. And Google said, did you mean move in ready? Yeah. You're like, huh, I suppose I did. I get it. I think it was going to be more satisfying than that, but fine. Great or disagree. All three pyramids were plunded both internally and externally in ancient and medieval times.

The only remaining object in the king's chamber, because remember it's supposed to be a burial place. He's a king. He's not there. Oh my God, rude. It's a sarcophagus made out of a single hollowed-out granite block, but when it was rediscovered in the early Middle Ages, it was found broken and any contents had been removed. So I want to nick dim.

They'd nicked him. Surely that's not the bit to Nick. Yeah. The corpse. If you don't want to be cursed forever. Yeah. I guess it depends on what you're into. Some people, sure.

That's probably the exact thing they'd want to steal. For me, it'd be that big bit of granite. Oh, yeah. I know what you could do with that. bench. Yeah. Beautiful. Beautiful.

Get a few kitchen tops out of that. Gorgeous. Or just the biggest kitchen top in the world. Yeah. I mean, if you're not, if you're the kind of person doesn't need a moving ready house and you want to do a few of your own personal touches, maybe a sarcophagus kitchen top, granite top would be beautiful. They're like, as you can see here, Kevin, we've actually imported a pyramidian from the ancient Egypt. Pyramid. And Kevin automatically knows exactly what they're talking about.

He's like, oh, yes, of course. Despite not being a qualified architect myself, I will critique the architect of this building. Kevin, you used to create theatre sets. That's your job. Well, that doesn't take a certain creative ability. Doesn't it feel like Dave's been holding on of that for a while? He's been watching a lot of grand designs too. I love it, though.

I love him. I love it. I love when he's negative. And I love 45 minutes later when I know he's going to be positive. Love it. He's always like, they're never going to do it. I can't believe they did it. Oh, wow, they did it.

So the afterlife was a big deal for the Egyptians, and it was supposed to house the pharaohs remains forever. So putting a massive marker on top of your burial spot actually kind of backfired. It may be the reason why they stopped building pyramids and instead started being buried in a distant valley, carved into rock, hidden away, now known as the valley of the kings.

Sadly, for them, most of them have since been found too, but that's how Tutankham was able to lie in peace until 1920. Wow. That is such a long time. Hot for Tart. Hot for Tart. So we're going to find him eventually, you know.

Got to. A man with that kind of aura. Yeah. Just get his vibe. Oh yeah. World History.org writes that although the great pyramid of Giza and other smaller pyramids, temples, monuments and stuff around it,

continued to be respected throughout Egypt's history, the site fell into decline after the Roman occupation and then annexation of the country in 30 BCE. At this time, there were already 2,600 years old. There's that often circulated fact that Cleopatra lived closer to the launch of the iPhone than she did to the building of the Great Pyramids, and she lived around this time. So it's true. Wow.

Isn't that wild? The site was more or less neglected until Napoleon's Egyptian campaign of 1798, during which he brought along his team of scholars and scientists to document ancient Egyptian culture and monuments. Napoleon's work in Egypt attracted us. Others to the country who then inspired still others to visit, making their own observations, and conduct their own excavations. And the peoples of Europe's fascination with Egypt really kicked off in the 19th century. And you used to be able to climb the Great Pyramid, but nowadays it's highly illegal and trespass can result in jail time, although that doesn't stop people from sneaking around

the guards at night. Danish photographer Andreas Hivod caused great controversy in 2018 when he published a photo of himself having sex with a woman on top of the pyramid. On the nipple. On top of the nipple. He later clarified that the lady in the photo was a model and it just looked like they were doing it. Oh, it's okay. She was a model.

She's allowed to have sex anyway. She's hot. But the Egyptian government were very pissed. It doesn't. How high is the pyramid again? It's in like the 300 metre high club or something. It doesn't feel like the easiest place to bang. the tip?

Yeah. Yeah. Probably not. Like, why can't it just be a selfie on it? Like, why do you have to be, anyway? Yep. What a cool guy. What a cool.

It's not cool to bang a model on the top of the pyramid. Well, okay. The idea of what's cool has changed in my time, obviously. In your 4,500 people. I can't think of anything cooler than banging a model on the top of the fucking pyramid. Sounds like the coolest guy I've all time. Just like,

oh, banging a model on the top of a pyramid. What a loser. Fucking hell. I miss his name. Is it James Dean? Who was this guy? Andreas. I don't know.

Stop it. People that came to Egypt in the 9th century said, Man fears time and time fears the pyramids. Because I've been around for so long. And hopefully they'll ask for many more thousands of years. That's a fun quote. So that's the only surviving. Wow.

And I've done the most research on that because there's so much information on it because it's still there. Did you get close? Did you get, because you got to Northern Africa on your recent trip? Yes, closest I've ever been, but I have not been to the pyramids. But we flew over on the way there. That's cool. I was sitting on a wing so I didn't get to see them out the window. But you were boning at the time as well.

So it's hard to look out the window. No, it looks like I was bony. I wanted everyone to think that. But it wasn't. Oh, sorry, I forget who I was talking to. He certainly weren't. Like, that was an opportunity for him to be like, yeah, I was. And he was still like, no.

He's too honest. Too honest. I'm in the mile high posing as if you're having sex club. Sorry, that's more exclusive. Yeah, that's true. It's easier just to do it. I just want to appear like I'm doing it. At all times.

Hey, get the captain down here. I want him to see something. Perspective tricks. You're actually three metres. apart from each other. All right, moving on from the most famous of the seven wonders to probably the second most well known, but also the most controversial. Oh, is that the other one I've heard of?

Yeah, the hanging gardens of Babylon. That sounds very nice. The pictures of it are amazing. Yes. It's controversial because they might never have existed. Whoa. And I want to say pictures, I mean drawings. There's no photos.

I don't know it at all. I'm going to look up the photos. Look up this amazing art inspired. by it. The gardens were said to have been built in the agent city of Babylon near the royal palace and what is present day, Hillar in Iraq. They were possibly built by the Babylonian king, Nebuchadnezzar the second. Oh, he's a famous one.

Yeah. Nebuchadnezzar. Great name. Very good name. Around 600 BC, meaning that they are 2,000 years younger than the pyramids. Wow. And they're the second oldest, apparently. Isn't that ridiculous?

So that's why they're laughing when they're like, uh, we should probably be in our own category. Yeah. Yeah, there must have been so many that came and went in the meantime. Two thousand years of human history. It's so funny. They're like, yeah, we're just building a thing we build, not realizing that they're building it in such a perfect way that it outlasts forever. The story goes for the hanging gardens that the king built the towering gardens to ease his lover, Amatis's homesickness for the natural beauty of her home in Medea, northwestern Iran. At the time, Nebuchadnezzar the second, was seen as one of the most powerful rulers in the world. Had a lot of clout, had a lot of cash. What do you want? What do you want? Sex on top of

a pyramid. You want to be cool. To appear that you have sex. So what do we go? We got Marnie, clout, sex on a pyramid. In what order though? That doesn't make sense. Because we start that conversation off the podcast. Yeah, we were talking about clout and sex off the podcast. We have some weird combos. We think of hanging gardens, what you probably do, I do, as meaning hanging in like basket type things. Yeah, that is what I was thinking. But the name is actually derived from the Greek word chromastos, meaning overhanging, and probably refers to gardens on raised structure like a terrace.

Yep. That kind of. Beautiful. Like you're in, the garden's up above you. But it's not all hanging. Gorgeous. The gardens were said to have been planted as high as 75 feet in the air. So high up.

on huge square brick terraces that was laid out in steps like a theatre. This would mean they would have had to have had an incredibly complex irrigation system for the plants to survive the conditions of their area. According to History.com, though there are multiple accounts of the gardens in both Greek and Roman literature, none of them are firsthand, and no mention of the gardens have been found in Babylonian inscriptions. And you'd think if you had something that cool, you'd probably like tweet about it.

We didn't scribe something, wouldn't you? You know what I mean? Yeah. Surely. Surely. Surely. Because of this, the hanging gardens remain the only one of the seven wonders

for which the location has not been definitely established. So we're not sure what happened to them or if they're completely fictional. Whoa. Although archaeologists continue to search. So who knows, this time next year they'll probably be in the news as being discovered as they always are.

Because we, I don't know, there's something magic in our drinking water and we keep talking about things just before there's news about them. Any day now. people have been searching for 2000 years. They're going to find it. So there's been the great subject for artist impressions over the years.

And like I was saying before, if you look it up on an image search, there's some beautiful, stunning, palatial gardens there. I would guess that somebody's tried to create that in the Sims. Definitely. Or like Minecraft. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Absolutely. And it's probably beautiful.

Wow. For those little Sims to enjoy. Get them in the pool. And you're thinking like it's got to have a great irrevocation. integration system. I reckon you just water at the top. Oh yeah. Just go, it just seeps down. Oh, he just trickle down economics 101. Yeah. It's not that hard, mate.

A bit of water for the big guys. A bit of water for the little guys. Water for the little guys. Thank you very much. Have all the, the generational wealthy plants up the top. The beautiful ferns. Yeah. You got the weeds down the bottom. There'll be some for us any second now, guys.

Here we got. You'll give yourself as a weed. Yeah. The third oldest of the ancient wonders takes us to Greece itself to visit the statue of Zeus at Olympia. This statue was erected around 435 BC, having been commissioned by the aliens, custodians of the Olympics. Aliens. Oh my gosh. It's so close.

Jess, have you just cracked the case? Crack this case wide open? And these aliens are also custodians of the Olympic Games. It all makes sense. Rog? Does that include rog? What's his name? He's wrong.

What's a rogue? What's the Rog? What's it? Rogue? What are the Olympic boss guys? The mascot? Rogue? Rogue.

Rogue. I'm sure there was a guy called Rog. Have we not talked about Rog before? I don't think, I don't remember Rog. Wrong. There's Dick Pound. Oh, Dick Pound. I mean. Is that who you meant when you said.

The vice president of the International Olympic Committee, Dick Pound, is that how you meant? Oh, Dick Pound's fantastic. Why am I thinking of someone called Rog? I'm just remembering Roy N.HG when they used to do Olympic shows. I'm sure they kept banging on about someone called Rog. Have I made that up? It's possible. That's funny.

If I knew how to spell Rog, I'd be a better chance. But anyway. I don't see how there's too many options in how to spell Rog. Oh, okay. Jacques Rog. Jacques Rog. R-O-G-G-E, president from 2001 to 2013. Jacques Rog.

What a reference. Do you think he's, is he an alien? Do you think Rog and Pound or aliens? Dick Pound? Jacques Rog. And what are the Olympic rings, if not a little map of somewhere for the aliens to land? Yeah. What are they?

I ask me that. Not a map of somewhere for the aliens. land. What are they? Can I just say? How else could you explain it? I arrest her my case. No further questions. I was going to make some sense when you started it, but it didn't.

What else could they be? What else could they be in that? There's a space for the blue aliens. The green aliens. There's a space for them all. They're all welcome. You know what? You've turned me around.

I can't argue against that. It's actually beautiful when you put it like that. So the statue of Zeus, It was commissioned by the aliens, custodians of the Olympics. Now, we all know about the Olympic Games, but at the time, these are the ancient games,

of course, they weren't the only cities holding games. And competition was fierce, not just on the field, but also between the games and their host cities. So there was the Commonwealth Games as well and other things.

Pretty important big games. I think most of the world, not just Australia, who wins a lot of wit medals for the only time. Yay, we beat some people. And Canadians do. well as well. It's not...

Yeah. And the New Zealanders... But it is good when America's not there. It does make it a little easier. It makes it a bit easier. You can take out America, China and Russia. Yeah. We're looking good.

Yeah, that's help a little. You know, population-wise, we're a lot smaller. Oh, yeah. I mean, think about that for a second. Factor that in. Factor that in. That's also part of Melbourne's culture. Everyone here is an Olympian.

Yeah. Everyone... There's not enough of us otherwise. Dave's an Olympic chess player, and we're very proud of him. That's how we all know Andrew Gays. That's why he's one of our mates. Yeah, Gaze.

Because we all know each other because we're all Olympians here. All in the village. Yeah. So like I said, the aliens were the custodians of the Olympic Games. And seeking to outdo their rivals, they hired sculptor Fiddeus to recreate a statue or to create a statue of Zeus and the newly constructed Temple of Zeus. No relation. Fidius was well known, having previously constructed the man.

massive statue of Athena Parthenos in the Parthenon in Athens. No relation. No relation. But this new commission was next level. Zeus, the god of the sky and chief deity of ancient Greek mythology, was depicted sitting on an elaborate cedar wood throne ornamented with ebony, ivory, gold and many precious stones. Living together in perfect harmony. Absolutely. And despite being seated, he was still 13 metres or 42 feet tall and filled the full height of the temple. It kind of looked,

it said it looked like if he stood up, he would take the roof off. Whoa. So you can't, that's uncomfortable. You can't stand. Never stand, yeah. Oof, don't love that. No standing desk there.

Take the roof off. It took eight years to construct. On his outstretched right hand was a statue of Nike, got us a victory, and in the gods left hand was, Just do it. Just.

I hate myself. And in the gods left hand was a puma shoe. Puma shoe. A pair of puma pan. I was going to say Adidas, but I know that freaks out American listeners when we say it like that. Adidas. Have you got a picture there, Madi? Yeah, I mean, I'm guessing there's just different artistic.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll be posting on our social media one a day, I think, of the... Great. Because that would be... Of the ancient wonders? Exactly. Wow. The fact is...

The fact that they've been. Built it on wood might be part of the reason why it doesn't exist anymore. It feels like big stone, multi-ton rocks was the way to go with the pyramids. Yeah, keep it going because that stuff doesn't burn. Azus himself was made from ivory. As in like elephant tusks. Yeah, that kind of stuff, which they amazingly shaped. Wow.

They put together many, many pieces of it. A lot of elephant blood was spilt. Yes, it's kind of awful to imagine. But moving on. His ivory was used for his flesh and he was draped in gold. Solid gold. To protect the ivory, it was constantly coated in olive oil, which is kind of weird. So he's oily.

He's always oily. And he sat above a small pool of oil so it didn't spill into the rest of the building. I use that excuse as well. People are like, why are you oiling yourself up? Oh, it's to preserve me or whatever. Preserve the ivory. The ivory. Stop asking.

People are so rude. I'm sorry to keep asking you while you're dousing yourself. oil. Extra virgin. Sorry, Dave, I borrowed your oil. Hey, I wasn't finished with that. What are you doing with it? No questions.

You don't want to know. And I tell you what, the people on the Jetstar flight were not amused. The oil was getting in the chairs. Got it. I was slipping off the seat. Very hard to. It's hard to clean. Very hard to clean.

Very hard to get in the club up there. When you're so slippery. No one can get a grip on you. Yeah, it looked like I was having sex, but really, I was slipping all over the place. So he actually was above a pool of oil that held it, and that actually reflected his image and made it look even bigger. Wow. So it's a constant oil.

Weird. I mean, yeah, I guess the fact that it's a sculpture and not a real person makes it a bit better. But if I was a real person, just constantly being covered in oil, sitting in a pool of oil. Sounds like that. Oh. Me personally. Okay.

Yeah, the sad thing is to think about all the olives whose blood was spilled in the making of that. Yes. Kind of awful to imagine, but moving on. According to legend, the sculptor Phidius asked his creation, Zeus, for a sign of his approval after finishing the statue. Soon after, the temple was struck by lightning. Oh, my God, I was going to joke that I was struck by lightning.

Oh, I know it was. But I was imagining that the, the, the, sculpture is struck by lightning and destroyed. And he's like, thank you, Zeus. He likes it. He likes it. Wow. Yeah, you'd take that, wouldn't you?

Sure. Or maybe that's him saying, I hate it. Yeah, he fucked my nose. Yeah, I don't like that at all. It's a very tricky way to communicate. Yeah. Give me a sign. How about just send me a text?

Yeah. If you can make the sign like in words, I can read it. Yeah, or like an emoji, like a thumbs up. Oh, yeah. Make it nice and clear. But he sends down a thumb from up and, you know, it could, lands wherever it lands could be up, could be down.

Oh yeah, you'd have to have like an arrow pointing up saying this way up. Or like a line underneath it, like whether you do a six or a nine. That will help Zeus if you're listening. These are just some things you could do to improve the system. Or we just sent down the numbers 69.

He thinks it's nice. He thinks it's good. Either one. He thinks it's nice. Same for both of us. Despite the acclaim for his work, Fidius, the sculptor, wasn't able to avoid controversy

and plotting from enemies who accused him of stealing gold from the statue of Athena at Pathanos that he created earlier. Honestly, are you a successful artist unless people, unless it's controversial? Unless people accuse you of stealing gold? Yeah. Then it's like, that's how you know you've made it as an artist. Yeah, it's not stealing, it's been inspired by. I steal like an artist.

He was able to disprove the accusations, but was later imprisoned for impiety, for including portraits of Pericles and himself on the shield of Athena. on the Athena Pathanos. They were like, are you comparing yourself to the gods by putting yourself on there? He's like, that's kind of my signature. This is almost certainly politically motivated as these people didn't like him, and it's not sure if he ended up just dying in prison.

That's a tough situation where, yeah, they could just make up any rule. Yeah. And go, we don't like you. So, yeah, you're going to prison because you made Zeus's hair yellow. Yeah. And that's wrong. That's wrong. That's disrespectful to Zeus.

We all know his hair is brown. Yeah. You made this little toe quite small. Yeah. You're trying to imply his weak. He's actually got the biggest little toe. Yeah. Like it's weird.

It's bigger than his big toe. He actually doesn't have a little toe. He's just got five big toes on his teeth. Finding footwear is a nightmare. Yeah. That's why he wears sandals. Don't you know anything about Zeus? Come on.

Can't do close toes. Nothing will hold those bad boys in. So Phiddeus had a horrible end, but despite this, his statue lived on for 800 years. That's pretty good. In AD 379, Roman Emperor Theodosius I came to power. He was a Christian ruler and decreed that all pagan non-Christian practices must cease. The temples were closed and the Olympic Games were shut down in 393.

So he killed the Olympics. What a dog It said that the maniacal Roman emperor Caligula Whose antics I've done a full episode on Ordered that the statue be brought to Rome So he could have the head chopped off And replaced with a sculpture of his own

One, oh okay, yep I was going to say like if it was just about cutting the head off Just do that there Don't bring the whole sculpture across What a nightmare But I understand he wants the hot bulb So he can be like, this is me Yeah, my frugishly big toes

These toes are huge but I don't have yellow hair. Cut that head off. But Caligula was assassinated before that could happen. So probably just as well. It was crazy. According to legend, though, when the workers built the scaffolding to remove the statue for Caligula,

it led out a great laugh and destroyed all the scaffolding. So, ha, ha, ha. That sounds right. You think that's a great laugh, Dave? Give us a great laugh, Matt. Oh. That was great. That was great.

That was great. Dave yours was a bit shit, actually. Like when I used to play Santa at Christmas parties when I was 19, and I'd go, ho, ho, ho. And that people would say, Oh, Stan is a bit Scottish. this year. I'd be like,

fuck off, Grandma. How are you saying Ho? Oh, no. Merry Christmas. That's so weird. Yeah.

Anyway. I'm Scottish. He's saying haggis in between? Yeah. Huggis for you, dear boy. William Wallace was my dad. What?

I'm from Glasgow. I'm from Glasgow. We joby. Oh, we're a bit Scottish. It's a bit Scottish. I don't know. That's fair enough. Is that the case?

No, no. I was draped in a Scottish flag. So that's the story that it laughed off the scaffolding. Like, you'll never move me, which is great until you learned the statue of Zeus was eventually successfully moved to a temple in Constantinople, where it is believed to have been destroyed in a fire around the year 462. Probably because it had a bit of wood there. You're right, Matt. It's basically been built on kindling.

Ready to go. Ready to go. Sadly, no accurate copies survive. We only know what it looks like. like based on ancient Greek descriptions and representations on coins. But some say it was the most revered of all the ancient wonders. Apparently it was amazing. Yeah, cool.

That's pretty sad and it had to go. Yeah. All good things, all good things. Speaking of which, next up is the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, which was located on the western coast of Asia Minor, which is in modern day Turkey. It was built in the 6th century BCE, so similar time, and was a Greek temple dedicated to an ancient local form of the goddess Artemis.

It's also known as the temple of Diana, as Diana is the Roman equivalent. Right. Of Artemis. Artemis. What do we know about Artemis? Diana's always pictured with the hounds. Oh, yeah.

Is Artemis Fowl anything? Does that mean anything? Oh, Artemis Fowl, yes. That's a group of like a young adult novel series. Okay I don't know why that's in my head Any relation? Any relation?

Yes, Jess, did you? Read Artemis Fowl? Yeah. No. Well, but I worked in a bookshop So I can confirm it is a book. Okay. You haven't you worked in a bookshop?

Which one? I worked at Dimix. Wow. Yeah. For like a couple of years maybe? Nice one. Did you ever write one of those recommendations? Yeah, yeah, booktakers.

Shelf Talkers. Oh, right on. I think I did, yeah. What were you recommending? Not Artemis Fowl, obviously. Probably really good stuff, I reckon. I don't remember. You just like the Bible.

Loved it. Loved it. From Jess. Big fan. Twist at the end. You'll never see a company. You'll never believe. According to the internet, Wikipedia.org,

great website I've just stumbled upon. In ancient Greek mythology and religion, Artemis is the goddess of the hunt, the wilderness, wild animals, nature, vegetation, childbirth, care of children, and chastity. There's a bit of a contradiction later. Childbirth and chastity. She got multiple portfolios that contradicts each other.

She was heavily identified with Celine, the moon and Hecati or Hecate, another moon goddess, and was thus regarded as one of the most prominent lunar deities in mythology alongside the aforementioned two. there you go there you go the hunting one that makes sense why she's often got dogs with her

right and foul chickens where do they come in she smelled terrible so it's the temple of Artemis is what we're talking about and it was massive

measuring 350 by 180 feet or 110 by 55 metres which for scale makes it twice the size of the Parthenon in Athens wow it had 126 40 foot marble columns

and was heralded with incredible artwork. It was so magnificent, it caused Philo of Byzantium to say, I have seen the walls and hanging gardens of ancient Babylon, the statue of Olympian Zeus, the colossus of Rhodes, the mighty work of the high pyramids and the tomb of Morselis. But when I saw the temple at Ephesus rising to the clouds, all these other wonders were put in the shade. Wow.

So cop that. So he had seen the hanging gardens. supposedly. And I'd also just told you that people said that Zeus was the best one and he just said, that sucks. Wow. Get out of here, Zeus. Get me here.

They've all got their fans. So far. The architect behind the temple was Sherris Fron. I'm certainly saying that incorrectly. The building had many lintels, which are horizontal structural beams that extend over an opening, like between the heart of a door or a window, keeps the wall at the top.

In this case, they connected the must. marble columns. They're a nightmare if you're trying to put a wall split air conditioner on in a like a multi-story apartment building. Still, until you can't drill through those. You're dreaming. Or you can,

but, you know, that's going to be pretty spendy. Yeah, right. Which is a term Dave taught me means expensive. A little bit spendy. A bit spending. American say it,

apparently. Well, I heard one American say it. You picked up on your travels. Bit spendy. How about this on my. travels with Americans. I'm in Amsterdam. I'm waiting a long time for a lift with three other American ladies because their friend is like, you know, coming through the lobby and I'm over a

minute. We're waiting for it. I'm coming. I'm coming. She's yelling at. Not in that context. No one was seeing in that. Nobody said that. I was like, all right, I can see why she was taking a minute. Why was she taking you so long to walk over to the lift? Get into the lift and then she gets in the door's closed and one of them says to me, oh, you're enjoying your trip so far? And I said, so far so good. Having a pretty good, no, having a good time.

Then I get to my level and I get out and I hear one of them say to the other, I guess some people just don't understand American kindness. And then the door closed. And I was like, I was perfectly. below. So far so good. I'm having a good time. Wait. What were you supposed to do? I don't know. What was the American kindness? I don't understand. Making you wait ages and then saying are you enjoying your trip? Yeah. And me saying pretty good.

Yeah, I am. Thank you. They just thought you were, you were a bit, maybe you were a bit gruff or something. Yeah, maybe you were supposed to ask them. You didn't ask them. Oh, yeah. I didn't have time. We'd already waited five minutes in the lips. Far out. Dave. I didn't realize you're a rude boy. I knew you love Scar, but I didn't realize you were. With apologies to anyone who does understand American kindness. Apparently, I do not. That's just pretty disappointing to hear that about you, Dave. Sorry, everyone.

But back to the Lintels. I talk about it because it was so complicated to do. The architect contemplated suicide when lowering them in because he was so stressed about it. Oh, my God. Jesus. But the way they did it was quite ingenious. They ended up lowering the Lintels into place

by stacking them on top of bags of sand. And they're slowly letting out sand at the bottom until they filled perfectly the gap between the columns. And then they're like, great. Wow, that's clever. Obviously they didn't have cranes or anything like that. So they just got a lower, lower, lower. Or like modern cranes anyway.

Lower, lower, lower. Bang. They had the birds. Yeah, they had the birds. Yeah, they had the birds. That sounds very clever. Did you get it? Yeah, great.

And then they saw it. They're in Morocco and they are huge. Really? And they build nests on top of anything. And I think they're sort of seen as like a bit of a sacred bird. So no one ever moves them away, a bit lucky. And the nests are big enough for like, a human could get inside it. Wow.

Did you try? Yes, I did. Wow. Have you been adopted by the cranes? I have. Wow. Fraser Craig. Yes.

It's a big Airbnb industry over there, crane nests. Great, get in. Wow. There you go. Poor old sheriff's front didn't quite get to see all of his labours, though. because it took 50 years to build this temple. He died before its completion and his son Metagines

had to complete the construction. But the temple had quite the history. Of all of them, probably has the most checkered history. It stood for nearly 200 years. But then along came a guy called Herostatus. Hero by name, hero by nature. Or so he thought. Okay.

What a roller coaster. Herostatus was desperate for fame. One of people to know. Aren't we all? On the 21st of July 356 BC, which legend has it is the day Alexander the Great was born, Herostratus set fire to the temple, burning it to the ground. Why? The building had a wooden roof and staircase, and once one of the columns collapsed, so did the rest.

That's a bit naughty. Herostratus was arrested and admitted that he burnt it down so that his name would go down in history. That was the reason? Yeah, he did it for fame, for infamy. Wow. And now you're playing right in his hands. Yes, well, he was executed. This is exactly what he wants.

Yes. The authorities created a, after they killed him, a damnatio memorai, law forbidding anyone to mention his name orally or in writing in an attempt to stop him from getting his wish. Yeah, the old Voldemort rule. Don't say his name. Orally or in writing, but you could still hear his name, taste his name or touch his name. You can think it. You could still think his name as well.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Nice try. trying to tell me what I can and can do up here. Can do anything up here. I'm tasting his name right now up here. It tastes good. Yum, pineapple.

I'm going back for more. The law was obviously ineffective evidence by me talking about him 2,300 years later. You're such a bad boy day. You break the rules. Whatever. You don't care, do you? Oh, you're such a bad boy.

I'd say whatever comes into my mind. Yeah, he does. Do bab. Shimmy chow. He's crazy. Simi chow. I've never heard this use before, apparently Herostratus has become a colloquial word

for someone who commits a criminal act in order to become famous. Herostratic fame refers to Herostratus and means fame sought at any cost. Have you ever heard that? No, I have it. But I love it. I love it.

Stop copying me. Jess, I love it. So he burned it down to get famous. Then the temple was rebuilt and survived until late antiquity. Dave, can you put that into numbers? The Gothic invasion of 267? Okay. The year 267.

You're like, where are the numbers? It was destroyed again. It was once again rebuilt, however. However, it was torn down for the last time in the year 401 by Christians. Until today. Let's rebuild it, baby. We'll make it move in ready. Today, only the foundations in a solitary column stand as a reminder of the Incredible Temple.

There's one column left. Oh, original column? Yeah. That's it. Although. Any sandbags? Yeah. Plenty of sand.

You can see a reconstruction at a miniature park in Istanbul. Oh. A mini construction. That's cute. Lego World or something. Which is probably the photo I'll post. This is the best. And you look at it.

It's amazing. It's like surrounded by columns. It looks awesome. And the lentils? How good of that? Oh my goodness. They are perfect. But you will not be putting an air conditioner through those.

Absolutely not. Too spendy. too spendy I'm trying to make it happen I don't think you can pull it off just being honest Yeah no that's right Spenny's already right there

Yeah I feel like Spenny from you Just feels better Yeah All right I'll stick with a classic Well while you stick with a classic We'll be back after these messages Or if there's no messages

I'll continue talking right now Okay onto my favourite of the wonders Oh he's got a fave I wish I could see it The Mausoleum at Harley Karnassus located in what is now Bodrum in southeastern Turkey, the monument was the tomb of Morselis, ruler of the small kingdom of Caria and southwestern Asian Minor.

It was named the mausoleum after Morselas and was so famous that Morseleum became the generic term for outdoor monumental tombs. There you go. That's where the term mausoleum comes from. From morseless. Is that a fun fact or at least a grim fact? That's at least a grim fact. Yeah.

I think it might be a fun grim. And it's crazy that you would make that call Because it's absolutely not your place to do it I think you're in charge of Grimm Yes Just you're in charge of fun So we've got the tick from Grimm. I don't think it's that fun

Okay so it's just a grim fact Maybe it's interesting Okay It's an interesting but that's not my territory I was trying to push into your territory then I'm aware that what you were trying to do And I simply won't allow it You mounted your forces

Yeah Or whatever they do right on the boundary That's right And you sent me back Yeah I fired some arrows at you. I thought maybe I could start a new thing that's grim fun. No.

But I can't. Absolutely not. You own all fun. Yep. I am the master of fun. There's nothing more fun than that. Yeah. Being, I'm a Nazi for fun.

Yeah. You're a fun Nazi. Can I say that? Yes, you can. Okay. So the moors land was built in Caria's capital city, Harlech and Assis. between 353 and 351 BCE by his sister Artemisia 2nd, who was also his widow.

I'd say that again. Sister and wife. So she was alive as a sister but dead as his wife? So what you mean? How does that even happen? Morsalus had married his sister and then he died so she became the sister widow before she was the sister wife. Okay.

That's blah. Yeah, some people take keep it in the family too literally. I think you can... You don't do that. You don't do that. But I read this and I thought... Different time. Still.

You're saying different time. I thought this has got to be a cultural thing. I looked into it. He was the first in his family to marry his sister. So it was not common. Nobody else in the family had married his sister. Yeah. That's interesting.

Not even his brother. God, she must have been a real uggo or something. Nobody wanted to marry her. So eventually he was like, all right. All right. I don't want to have a loser in the family. I'll marry you. I'll marry it.

It's safe the family's image. There's so many other people that you can marry. Don't marry your sister or your brother. Just don't do it. Yeah. Don't marry anyone's sister. Marry only children. Yeah.

Oh, that's good. Yeah. Just to be safe. Just in case. How do you know they're definitely not your sister? Yeah, that's right. Were you there at the birth? No.

Probably not. Hopefully not. And if you were, you probably shouldn't marry them. That's right. There you're too old. Never marry a sister or a brother. That's right. Yep. Okay.

I think that's important. And I'm glad we finally got to that. We put it there. So the building. Put it there. We're making a deal. Yeah, put it there, Dave. We're bringing that into law now.

Put it there. So the mausoleum was built by Artemisia II, who's the wife slash widow for the resting place of her husband slash brother. The building was designed by the Greek architect's Pythias and Satteros. Pithy and satire. That's fun. That's good. That is fun.

Shotgun pithy. Did they invent these things as well? No relation. To each other, but they did invent those things. Sorry. But good they're not related because they were married. And that was fine. That's okay.

It was approximately 45 metres or 150 feet in height and the four sides were adorned with sculptural reliefs, each created by one of four famous Greek sculptors, one of which was scopus of postures of Paris, who had supervised one of the rebuilds of the Temple of Artemis that I just mentioned earlier. So he had his fingers in a couple of these. Seven wonders. Seven wonder pies.

Seven pies of, I've got to do something with that. Yeah. Seven ancient pies. Little punky, we'll get there, we'll get there. When you say you're going to do something with that, what do you mean? You're going to go to each of those places and eat a pot? Yes. Yes, I should visit these places.

And I'll come with you. I'll eat a sandwich made on Wonderbread. Wonder what? Wow. Can we get sponsorship for this? Seven sangers of the world. Seven ancient singers. The best part is if the Babylon Garden Stone is this,

we could just do it in our backyard. That's true. Fantastic. Prove us wrong. So this mausoleum, I sat on a hill on top of a large stone platform and on top was 36 columns. Standing between each pair of columns was a statue. Above this was a pyramid-shaped roof.

And on the very top of the building, were statues of four massive horses pulling a chariot in which rode images of Morselis and his sister wife, Artemisia. So they're on top of this thing. And if you're struggling to imagine it, it was the main inspiration for the Shrine of Remembrance in Melbourne. Really? Yeah.

It's based on the mausoleum of Haliccanassus. Wow, that's kind of cool. As well as many other buildings around the world. Yeah, right. If that doesn't ring a bell for you, look up this mausoleum, type into Google Images. It looks so awesome. It's the one I wish I could see.

Can you name it again? Morsalium of Harley Canassas. Sick. After Morsela's death, his sister wife, Artemisia, took control of the kingdom, which was unusual, as women didn't usually rule. Thinking she'd be easy to beat, being a feeble woman, in quotation marks, the Rhodians, a nearby kingdom, decided to invade. But Artemisia outwitted them, captured them all and their boats, and then took the captured boats back to Rhodes, where they were welcomed. They were like, oh, our boys are coming home. and then they sprung up and she also captured all of roads.

Hell yeah. Hell yeah, sister. So the wife, sister wife. Hell yeah, sister wife. So that totally backfired and she was a bit of a badass. Wow. But she was very saddened by her husband brother's death and. Brother husband.

Brothers. And reportedly drank his ashes daily with wine. No, no, thank you. It's getting weirder. No, no, no. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I miss you so much. I want to drink you.

But why would you put him in a wine? Put him in a smoothie. Blend with that. You know? Like a protein powder. You wouldn't, you wouldn't notice it as much. A really grainy,

gritty wine. No, thank you. Oh, about it. I mean, at least then you got some alcohol to give you a little buzz.

Yeah, that's true. Give you a little brother buzz. No reason you couldn't like put it in a, in an alcoholic smoothie or like a milkshake or something. Mahito? Delish. Do they,

they sort of blended? No. Maybe like a pinocalada, Dave's favorite. Oh, That would be great. That would be good because I wouldn't be thinking about how gross the ashes are because I'd be thinking how gross the pina colada is.

Yeah, great, perfect. What are you talking about? Pineapple milk. Pineapple. Bit of milk in there. What, no. A creamy, frothy goodness. No, no, no.

Bit of ashes for good measure. Yeah, yum. I'm listening again. Bit of protein. Is that how you would like us to consume you when you're gone? Please consume me. But I don't want to be ashes. I just want to be bits.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay. Just little chunks. Yeah. Oh. I'll do it like I was a boy. And I'll go, I'll take your leg. I'll chew the meat off your, off your butt out the backyard.

Like when I was a boy. I didn't understand what you meant at first. I'll do what I, like I was a boy. Yeah. What the hell are you talking? When I was a boy, I used to chew meat off the bone in the backyard. Because we didn't have a dog. So you were the dog?

I think so. Your parents just yelled. I didn't realize that later. But like the end of the roast or whatever the Sunday roast or whatever, you go, all right, Matt, you can take it out of the back. And I'll be looking at the family through the window, chewing meat off the bone. I'm not surprised that you're a lifelong vegetarian now because you were just like, I want to make this stop somehow.

If I tell them I don't eat any meat, they can't make me eat meat. I can't make me lost the bone. I'll miss it. That'd be the first thing I did. Get into the backyard. Yeah. With a bone. But you don't like dogs.

You don't understand dogs. No, I love dogs. Dogs are great. I just, I don't understand having a dog. It just feels weird to me to have a dog in your house. It feels like they deserve. It feels like they'd be up for just roaming around. Yeah, I know.

Saw a few dingoes in the wild on my trip. It's pretty fun. That's cool. I haven't seen dingoes in the wild before. I don't think so. That's cool. Yeah, it was great. They were both a couple of solo dingoes.

I'm not sure how well Humphrey would go in the wild. Oh, good. This would be dead in minutes. You kidding me? Because he would run up to a bear or something. Hello. Because he's so friendly. Where are you releasing him?

In the Pacific Northwest. Of course. He can't handle a hot climate. He needs to go into the woods. So she drank her husband, brother. Brother husband. Brother husband. Brother husband.

Over the centuries, she's been depicted in art as the heartbroken lover. It's disgusting. People like Rembrandt have painted her and all sorts of things. She died two years. later and was interred alongside Morseless in the Morseleum, which was finally finished after both their deaths.

She was succeeded by their younger brother and sister who also married. Okay. So there you go. Sadly, Awgwethings must come to an end and the Morselaium was destroyed in a series of earthquakes between the 13th

and 15th centuries. It was actually the last surviving of the six destroyed wonders. So it's the closest we've got. Its remains were later used in the fortification of a castle, and in 1846, pieces of one of the morselaium's freezers were extracted from the castle and now reside, along with other relics from Harley Carnassus,

as well as many other stolen pieces, in London's British Museum, which I saw last week and inspired this whole report. Oh, wow, cool. I'll post some photos. That's why it's your favourite, because you've seen some of it. But also, did you look up the building? It looks, it looks like a cake. It does, because it's like, it's got quite a big,

base that sits on and then the building on top. Yeah, that chunky base looks like. I reckon someone must have made a cake out of that. Oh, I'd love that cake. I just love cake. Oh, yeah. Can we get cake? That's our birthday soon.

Do you get cake on your birthday? No. Well, not typically. No. All right, Dave, I'll come to yours then. Please. My wife always makes the same cake and I live for it. Yes.

My wife. How many, wait. How many birthdays? Have you had a wife for? Well, this is your first birthday with a wife. Yeah. Before that, she was my sister.

I've promoted her. My sister wife. Before that, she was my sister. All right, we're up to our sixth one and our second last. We're up to the Colossus of Rhodes, which is probably the coolest sounding one. It doesn't sound pretty cool. Honestly, initially, I thought you had

mispronounced Rome and Coliseum. I was like, God damn it, Dave. Come on, mate. I know it's been a while, mate, but come on. Colossus of Rhodes. Any guesses of what it is? What does that sound like? Like a supermarket.

Like a cold. Yeah, maybe like a, you know, like an early supermarket, like a some sort of market. The first market. Maybe a drag racing strip or, you know, like a, you know, one of the circuit, maybe one of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that Bob Jane T-Mart one outside of Melbourne. Yep. Are we close?

You're so close. Yes. It is another statue. Oh, yeah. That's a second guess. Why are you all statues? I mean, that. Oh, wonder.

All these wonders. Oh, whatever. Statue. Okay. If I was doing it, I might have one statue tops. Absolutely. It has to be a pretty freaking great statue.

But they didn't have, you know what? Now I'm realizing they didn't have that much back then. Like, we're going back. This is a pre-re-realt. They probably didn't have like waterfalls. Yeah. They probably didn't have like, I don't know, big rocks or something. Yeah, there's no fountains.

That would mean cool. Yeah. Because there is also a natural wonders of the world. Is there an ancient natural wonders of the world? How many wonders of the world lifts are there? Natural wonders are so old anyway. Right. Good point.

That's a good point when you think about it. It got me there on a technicality. Because like the only new wonders of the world are like a sinkhole or something. People are like, whoa, that's pretty crazy. Yeah. It's not like things just pop up. Yeah. Like, holy shit.

Where the hell did that come from? There's an oasis over there. Wow. A new reef. What happened to that primary school? Who cares? There's an oasis. So it was built in 305 BCE on the Greek city of Rhodes on an island of the same name.

The same place captured by Artemisia 50 years earlier. Yeah, well, you mentioned Rhodes before and I was like, I've heard that. Early Iran. The statue depicts the Greek sun god Helios and was built to commemorate. Rhodes' victory over the invading Macedonians in 305 BCE. The invasion was led by Demetrius the first son of Antichinus, a general under Alexander the Great, and Rhodes' victory was not expected. They were like, we're going to get crushed, and then they unexpectedly won, and after the

win, they were quite wealthy having sold all the military equipment left behind by the enemies. So they spent an incredible sum commemorating their proud victory. It was the equivalent of hundreds of ships worth. Like they could, you build a statue or have something like 500 new ships, and they went with a statue. Like on the Simpsons. New money, am I right? Yeah, new money, you don't know what to deal with it.

It was sculpted by Charis of Lindos, who initially proposed it to be 50 feet high, already an enormous height. But he was asked to double it, meeting the Colossus stood approximately. Let me do it. 50 feet high. Double it.

Double it. Double it. Double it. 85. So close. Let me round you up to. 108 feet high in the end. Drop eight feet.

It was 33 metres. But if that eight feet is just a spire? Oh yeah. Fuck you. So it's 33 metres tall which for scale is approximately the height of the modern statue of liberty from her feet to the crown. Wow. So not the base. Yeah, right.

The Colossus, however, stood on a marble base that was 15 metres high. or 49 feet, meaning in total was nearly 50 metres tall. This makes the Colossus the tallest statue in the ancient world cop that Zeus. Right. Because Goose wasn't...

Because Zeus was sitting down, though. Sitting down though, yeah, probably stand up. Yeah, that's a mistake. But this is massive, 50 metres tall. Did the term Colossus? Because that means huge thing. Was that before or after this? I'm not sure if it inspired the word Colossus.

That would be so cool. Colossus. I love while you're looking that up Dave, I'd love to make a request of the listeners out there. Someone who's got a little bit of Photoshop skills. Could you, just for my benefit, could you put the seven wonders of the world on a scale next to Melbourne's Rialto? Yeah. Just for, that would help me out a lot. Because at the moment, like, I'm just really struggling to picture.

I looked up the Rialto before for you. Yeah. The Rialto is 300 metres tall. Okay. So the pyramid, half the height. Half the height. So half the Rialto. Half is impressive.

Oh, yeah. I'm not actually that impressed now because I was thinking, I was imagining like standing at the base of the pyramid and looking out and be like, whoa, shit,

but if it's like not even as big as the reality. But you got to remember the realto is two buildings next to each other. Maybe it's the smaller part of the realtor. Okay. Just kind of, that doesn't sound. I don't think many,

how many people go to the realto and look at the smaller part? Yeah. Certainly not me. Not me. I ignore the smaller part. I flip it off actually. Yeah.

Fuck you, small part. Fuck you. Love you, big bit. I looked like, up the etymology of Colossus. Yeah. It's via the Latin from the Greek

Colossus applied by Herodotus, that guy before I said, the father of history, to describe the statues of Egyptian temples. Right. So it was already in usage. In usage, yes. Very interesting.

There you go. So, but it's really tall. The tallest in the ancient world. It was made of bronze and reinforced with iron and weighted with stones in the feet. The way they probably built it was pretty incredible. They surrounded the statue you by burying it in a mountain of earth

so they could carry piece by piece to the top, building it standing up. Whenever it got bigger, they would bury it more so they could stand on top of the pile and reach the next part. And then they just dug it out again? Deeper and deeper and deeper.

Yes, because it was wearing a crown when I saw recreations, it kind of looked like a buried statue of liberty. Oh, kind of the apse style. It was worth Earth all along. You maniacs. You blew it up. You did it.

So, wait, I'm with you. How do they? get it out. What? Doesn't that feel like they've just created a problem? Leaf blower. Oh. You have all the dirt.

Oh, yep. So you just make all the ground blower. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You build, yeah, you build the rest of the city around it. Right. And then you never see the statue, but you know it's there. It's there though. But no, being buried during construction meant the sculptor and the workers had to wait

until it was done before they could, fully done before they could see it. So they had to dig it out. Yeah. And after 12 long years, the dirt was finally removed. You'd be like, I hope it's good. And then it turns out you put the fade on backwards or something. It's like one of those reality show reveals. Yeah.

He's just a bit wonky? It's like, oh, fuck. Get the dirt back. Yeah, that's right. I liked it better. Is the dirt enough for an ancient wonder? The dirt of rose? That's pretty good.

Yeah, that's where Mound was named after. Mound is got a Mound. The sculptor never saw his finished creation, apparently having committed suicide before its completion. There are many stories as to why he took his own life. One is that he was almost finished when someone pointed out a small floor. Oh no. And not...

Don't do that. And not being able to face the shame. The other is that when he initially offered to build it 50 feet high and he was asked to double it, he asked for double the money. Only later realizing that to build it that big, it would in fact cost eight times as much. The story is he is,

apparently took his life when he went bankrupt. He got to do the sums. He did not crunch the numbers. He was like, sure, double the material, double the time. Yeah, you would think. Took way longer. Bigger in all sorts. It's not just twice at all.

Yeah, it's bigger everywhere. Bigger girth. Biggerth. Take you longer. Yeah. Never underestimate the girth. Yeah. Never.

Always use that rule of eight. You want it bigger? Well, that'll cost eight times as much. It doesn't matter what the context is. That's why the difference is. That's why the difference is trying to say. small pizza and a large pizza. Eight times.

Yeah, that's an $80 pizza. Sorry. You want it big though? No, you want eight smalls. Okay. It's not scalable like that. You can't just go, oh, I want it twice as big as twice as much. No.

No, it's eight times as big. Eight times as much. I've got to use eight times as much pepperoni. Yeah. And that shit ain't cheap. That shit ain't cheap. Anything I'm made of pepperoni? I'm not.

I'm a man. I've checked. It's just having a meltdown in the pizza shop. What do you think? Made a pepperoni. Certainly I'm not. I don't know who you've been talking to. No one said.

That is not true. Ask my wife. What? I just want a pizza. What? Yeah, pepperoni man. Oh, that's it. I talked to order a toasted cheese sandwich

at a pizza shop on Ligon Street. It had on the wall, toasted cheese sandwiches available. And I said, can I have a cheese and tomato sandwich? And the guy goes, you love a margarita pizza. And I was like... You'll have one. Yeah.

And I went, no, no, no, can I have a toaster cheese sandwich, he goes, you'll have a margarita pizza. And I said one more time, he goes, you'll have a margarita. And I went, okay, I guess I'm having a margarita pizza. If you're asking for a cheese and tomato toasted sandwich, you're essentially asking for a margarita pizza. I think that he may not have had bread or something,

but he didn't bother communicate about it. He's like, this is the closest thing. You should have this. You like cheese. You like tomato. You like bread? It felt so threatening. Yeah, that's very strange.

It's basically a calzone. A calzoni, chogi boy. Had a good one of those in Italy. Of course he did. Mamma me. Mama Mia. You're in Italy. Delish.

You went to Italy and you had a Calzoni. I did. Did you get up towards the Swiss-Itan border? Not close enough. You didn't get to Gudo? I didn't get to Gudo. Oh my God. Did you travel?

What was the point? If you didn't get to Gudo. Population of like 17 people. Oh, okay. It's on my list. Some Euro trip. Yeah. Is that your eighth wonder of the world?

Gudo. Gudo. If I'm remembering that right. Gudo. With this wonder, the sixth wonder, is commonly depicted in art as straddling the entrance to Rhodes Harbour with ships sailing between the legs. Oh, that's hot. According to, yeah, don't look up. There's semen.

Travelling between the legs. Are you serious? Come on. Come on. Grow up. Grow up. Grow up. ancient people.

Grow up. Grow up. You disgust me. Grow up. That's my Joe Biden, grow up. Joe Biden meets Jerry Simon. So according to Britannica,

it's technically possible that the statue could have straddled the harbor entrance and the popular belief that it did so only dates from the Middle Ages. But other sources say it couldn't have possibly stood there.

People say it's impossible. Okay. But Britannica says It's impossible That design feature could explain Why it stood for the shortest amount of time Of all the ancient wonders Only lasting 56 years

It was toppled by an earthquake in 226 BCE Snapping it at the knees And then it just fell over Oops It was foretold by an Oracle That if it was to be rebuilt Rhodes would suffer a great misfortune So it was left in ruins

Because of a fortune tower However, it was still an attraction to see even the remains on the ground. That's how big it was. Just its thumb was apparently bigger than most statues of the day, and people couldn't physically get their arms around the thumb. That's fun. That's fun, isn't it? Yeah, it is fun.

I mean, sometimes the things that didn't quite go right are more fun as an attraction anyway, right? Like, who gives a fuck about the Tower of Pizza if it's not a little leany? Yeah, that's true. Just be a tower. Yeah, who gives a shit? Like whatever. I don't think we would have heard. of it.

Why did I get on the train to see this? I feel like an idiot. Yeah. Where's the closest Irish pub? Yeah. But if you're able to pose next to it, looking like you're pushing it overall holding it up. That is fun. Using perspective tricks to make it look like you're boning a model.

I only look like I was having sex with this towel. Yeah, making it look like that's your penis. That's fun. That's fun. That is fun. It's undeniable. It's a little bent. That's objectively fun.

Yeah. Often humor is subjective. Not in this case. Not in this case. That's a hundred percent hit, right? Yeah. Everyone's laughing. Find me any person who doesn't find that hilarious. Let's bring it down. That's my clothes on. I reckon that should be the robot test on computers. Are you a robot? Just say, is this funny?

Robots don't get it. Yeah. That'll be stumped. Humans go, I'm Jacqueline. Yeah, there it is. Boom. Humanity confirmed. Yeah. So it lay on the ground in ruins until the 9th century AD when the remaining bronze was taken away by Arabic forces

to be melted down. Fucking hell. Apparently it took 980 camels to carry it all away. 980. That's a lot of camels. That's a lot of camels in any book. Not a lot of camels in any book. Not in this showing outback.

That's a drop in the fucking ocean. How many we got? You know, it'd be easy to put a camel through the eye of a needle then. We got 990 up there? Yeah, add a couple of zeros. 9.9. Hang on, thank you. Oh, shit, okay.

Just give her a minute. Do you need a paper and pen? Yeah. I'm coming. That's what that lady was doing. She was doing the camel sums. You just don't understand American. American kindness.

The same woman the next night, when I went down to the lobby to check what time checkout was, she was checking out with her three friends. They were all at the front doing the business. She was standing at the back with her phone going, oh, I just got an email asking if I can play golf on Thursday. I guess I can play golf on Thursday just announcing it to the lobby. So good. I was just nodding like, I care.

I love her. That's fun. I'm a big fan too. That feels like you're traveling. If that was an Australian, I would have found them to be a nightmare. 100%. Because they're American or from anywhere else, to a point, I'd be like, What a fun character.

This is a character I'm glad I've bumped into you. But in Australia I'm like, I'm so embarrassed. You're a sufferable and you're a shame on our nation. It was so, so good. Just announcing it golf plans to no one. I guess I could play golf.

I'd be like, is it room for one more? We're about something, but you're going to be on Thursday. I'll be there too. One million feral camels in Australia. You're going to have to have a couple more. Yeah,

we're going to have to earn a few zeros. What are you like 100 million? What are you guys talking about? In 2008, plans to rebuild a modern colossus on roads were announced at a cost of 250 million euros. This time, they wanted it to be five times higher at 150 metres plus the base. It makes sense. Like, if you're going to, you wouldn't make it to the same size because it wouldn't be as impressive. No, it's not impressive anymore.

But modern standards, because we've got a Rialto now. Exactly. I was going to say for scale, the Statue of Liberty is 93 meters, including the base. So it's one and a half statue of liberties. Yeah, right. It's big time. Yeah. You've hit the big time.

She's puny. Yeah. Who cares? But also half a Rialto. Still half a Rialto. So the Rialto is 300 meters. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I read that. Bloody hell.

How tall is the fucking Eiffel Tower? That's got to be bigger. Is that bigger than Rialto? I lied to you. It's 250 meters. I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. I'm so embarrassed.

I'm so embarrassed. You're sure you not talking about it a little bit? Please, Dave. Don't do this to us. Okay, it's 270 with the antenna, antenna spire. Well, take those antennas. In this case, in this case, I think the antenna has merit. Yeah, you were very important part.

Do you say Rialto spire? That's, look, what I said before about spires, that's about those buildings. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Rialto, as a rules of its own. Yep. It's such an, you should do a report on it. It was the tall. office building in the southern hemisphere when it was constructed.

That's impressive. And that lasts for like three years. I bang on about the reality because I find it very funny that when I was a kid, teachers and stuff were kind of proud of it. Yeah. So that's kind of my bit I'm doing over a long period of time. Not a bit. When I say a bit, not a bit.

Certainly not a bit. But I did a like a TikTok early on about and someone commented somebody like, yeah, this fact still isn't interesting. TikTok is a good place for feedback. They're kind and definitely not assholes. It's great. That's good stuff. Love it.

This is still not interesting. Love that. Something like that. I don't know, mate. I know you can never tell if they're in on the, they're with you or not. They're never with you. And by commenting, they have ensured the algorithm will show more videos of you to this person. Fantastic.

So it was planned in 2008. they were going to make this new Colossus. According to the Guardian writing in 2008, the new Colossus will be a tourist attraction with shops, cafes, a museum and a library and will also act as a lighthouse. Oh, so just put a big light on the top. But imagine, like, the toes are all different shops.

Oh, that's great. That's nice. Let's get Homer Simpson design this Colossus. You know, it could have everything. Have a TV in the belly. Well, what the shops are? What are the toes shops? One of them could be one of those toenail shops

where they do your toenails. Pettacures. Pettacures. And only pedicures. And then one of the fingers could be... Manicures. Manicures. Yes.

Wow. And then one of the other fingers could sell chicken fingers. That's good. One of them could be like a ring shop. One of the toes could sell only toasties. Oh, that's good. And one of the other fingers could sell fish fingers. Oh, that's good.

And one of the other toes could... Toe rings. Toe rings. So it's actually quite annoying because you have to go... Like if you want to... to Mani and a Petty. You have to go to two different shops. If you want some jewelry, you have to go to multiple different places.

That's a cultural thing. But you can stop us and fish fingers on the word. Exactly right. Sustainance. You get a photo in one of the... That's good. Yeah. Yep.

You know, I think we should send an email. Tobelerone. Tobelerone. Oh, no. You're talking... Yes. Goodbye Toads. Yes.

Toadfish, Rebecca. You could do it. Have a signing stall there. Yes. A permanent signing stall. Now that Navids is off the air, he's got the time. He's got the time. That's good.

Anyway, Dave, two go on, I reckon. Well, it's actually pretty, this is still from The Guardian. Helios, is a member of the gods. Skin will be made of solar panels and state-of-the-art computer technology will ensure it never falls again. And you're wondering, what happened to this statue? Well, the project was shelved after the GFC and Greece's subsequent economic collapse. Oh. But they might pick it up again.

Exactly. I think they're doing better economically now. So maybe they will spend 250 million euros on this statue. I would. If that's all I had in the bank, that would be perfect. The government just goes, all in. All in. I can't imagine how sad it would be if all you had of the bank was $250 million.

Oh, that would be pretty grim. That would be sad, but I've got $204 million. How are I going to feed myself? But once you build that statue, you know, that's going to generate cash. Yeah, it's an investment. A lot of manis, a lot of pennies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of toe rings, a lot of fingerings.

Yep. You got everything going on there that you want. That's right. You got photos. Toad Fish Rebecca. Toad fish Rebecca's there. This is, you may as well, one of the fingers may as well be printing its own money. They move the mint up there.

I think the Greeks, they'd be crazy not to just go all in. Take, borrow the money. Yeah. You don't got it yet. Borrow it. Borrow it. You're going to be good for it. Yeah.

no time. Yeah, yeah, sure. The belly button's a button shop. Nah. Who would go to a button shop? You know what I mean? Like, if anything, the belly button needs to be a haberdashery with a button section, sure.

But just buttons, David. They'll close in a week. Everyone needs buttons. When's the last time you went and bought buttons? Yeah, that's right. Get on with your report. Button boy. I love buttons.

I'm anti-Zip, pro-button. While we finally arrived at the final wonder on our ancient tour, the lighthouse of Alexandria. We're back where it all began in Egypt. The lighthouse was located on a small island called Ferros, near the city of Alexandria. It was completed in the same year as the Colossus 280 BC, and has been described as the archetype of all subsequent lighthouses.

Wow. 280 BC, obviously a big year for big things. Yeah. The lighthouse was commissioned by the first Ptolemy, the Greek general who stayed behind to rule after Alexander the Great Concord Egypt. Shortly after Ptolemy declared himself Pharaoh in 305 BCE. We've talked about Ptolemy, heavenly? Yes, we have. Cleopatra was from the Ptolemy dynasty.

That's right. The last one. Jess, what the hell? I thought we were together or not remembering anything. I remembered something. It's a great. Why? Okay, hang on.

I finally. remembered something and you got mad at me for it. Rather than celebrating my victory. I just saw you looking at me in your review mirror. You were waiting. You were away. Just don't leave me out back here. Tolomats what the fuck are you talking about?

Sorry, buddy. You're going to have to remember something. Taking 33 years to complete, it stood over three levels, each smaller than the last. The lowest part was square, the next octagonal and the top was cylindrical. In total it was 350 feet or 110 metres tall, making for centuries. It's second only in height to the Great Pyramid. Second comes right after first. This also means if it stood today, 2300 years later, it would still be the tallest conventional lighthouse in the world.

Oh wow. So they haven't topped it. Does it look like, you know, the round the twist lighthouse, the classic sort of lighthouse? It's more because it's bigger. It's got the three parts. It's like a big bit at the bottom, small a bit. And then basically the round the twist bits on top of two platforms. That's fun.

Its light was provided by a fire burning close to the top every night. And incredibly, the light could be seen at a distance of 50 miles. What? That's a big fire. A broad spiral ramp led to the top that was said to have been wide enough for donkeys and carts to carry wood all the way up. How did the donkey get back down? back it yeah they're going to go backwards they threw the donkey in the fire and they started again that's the worst part about uh going to the top of lighthouses is always a fairly rickety ladder

yeah oh i'm like i'm good actually yeah so yeah um this sounds like this one will burn down yeah that's what that was my guess also let's find out in the middle ages the beacon at the top was replaced with a small mosque by a sultan the lighthouse was severely damaged by three earthquakes between 9.56 and 1323 AD and became an abandoned ruin and in 1477 a fort was built from the ruins. Wow. So no fire. So instead of a light for a while there was a mosque, how does that stop ships hitting the shore?

I guess they were like, whatever. Yeah, right. They're just like, ships are just crashing. Yeah. They were like, this is a cool place for a mosque. I mean, it's a cool place for a mosque. That's cool. I'll tell you that for nothing.

Beautiful. So after being lost for centuries, some of the ruins were rediscovered on the floor of Alexandria's harbor in 1994. Wow. And it's possible for divers to visit these ruins today. The discovery was made when the government was planning to build a breakwater and just wanted to check if there was anything down there, as you have to do in Egypt because there's so much history.

And having discovered that, they abandoned the idea of the breakwater. And my final fact, the Lighthouse of Alexandria. It was so celebrated in the ancient world that Ferros, the island it stood on, became the Greek word for Lighthouse, as well as in many other languages, including French, where it's called Fair, Italian and Spanish, Pharaoh, Portuguese, Farrell, and even Swedish, Fear, and Bulgarian, Far. So that's why...

Those are the words for Lighthouse? For Lighthouse. And we call it Lighthouse. We call it something different. I actually do like Lighthouse. It's actually quite a cool name. Yeah, I like it. But, yeah, basically every else in the world.

They named it after this thing. Wow, cool. Everywhere else in the world. He just named a bunch of places. There's a lot of languages. Everywhere else, Dave. Oh, my God. Basically everywhere else.

Basically. Okay, he's just, he's grumpy because I remembered something. It's all right. Let him act out. He's just, it's how he's expressing. Basically everywhere else in the world, yeah. I've named seven places all within a small vicinity. I've been to Europe, it says Dave.

I know that's the whole world now. Yeah, you get him. There's a couple other. continents going about the place. Name one. Well, don't put me on the spot. So that's the seven ancient wonders of the world. Just to recap, if you cross-check those dates,

the Colossus of Rhodes was the last of the seven to be completed just after 280 BC. And also the first to be destroyed when it snapped in 226. As such, all seven wonders existed at the same time for a period of less than 60 years. Wow. That's pretty amazing. amazing. Yeah. And you consider that when the second one came along,

the pyramids were already 2000 years. Yeah. Such a small. Dave, can I request you do a follow-up episode about the modern wonders of the world? Well, I've actually got some facts about it right now. Okay. Jeez, he works quickly.

Yeah, it's good. I don't know how he does it. The new Seven Wonders of the World was a campaign started in 2000 by a Swiss Foundation to choose Wonders of the World from a selection of 200 existing monument. Marvel Stadium? How many Melbourne one? I assume Melbourne probably have five or six of them. How many Melbourne Stadium?

MCJ is probably in there. Melbourne Town Hall. It's quite a beautiful building. Yeah. Shrine of remembrance. Kind of looks like one of the old ones. Flinders Street Station. That McDonald's in an old Art Deco Bank in Quifton Hill.

Yeah, I love that one. Yeah, that's a beautiful Maccas. It's actually quite a good meeting. There's a good ANZ on Colin Street in a beautiful... We're going to put forward for the Australian pitch. We're putting forward a beautiful... beautiful A&Z bank. One of the big four.

So this is in 2000. More than 100 million votes were cast on the internet or by text messages. And it actually took seven years to announce the results in 2007. So started in 2000, announced in 2007. At a guess, can you guess any of the seven? Eiffel Tower. That's got to be in there. It's not there.

Whoa. Statue of Liberty. Not there. What? Is it pyramids or the sphinx or something? Well, the great pyramid was. on it as the eighth wonder as it still stands. Okay.

So they gave that honorary mention. But there's seven other others. Uluru. No. That was natural wonder. These are man. These are manmade ones. These are all human made.

I wasn't listening. The moon. Earth itself. Beat that. Beat that idea. Hey, prove to me that's not manmade. Oh, good point. I can't prove it to you, man.

Okay. The fucking. Empire State Building or something. What is on there? I'll give you the list. The Taj Mahal. Taj Mahal. India.

That's pretty impressive. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Coliseum. Leaning Tower of Pizza. No. No, because I've already got the Coliseum. Yeah, Coliseum can't have two. Chichenitsa in Mexico.

There's also another type of pyramid. Ah. I don't know. Do I know Chittaneta? That's weird. Marchu Picchu in Peru. Oh, yeah. Yep, that's fair.

The ruin. Yep. Christ the Redeemer statue in. in Brazil. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

Petra in Jordan. Do you know Petra? The city that's carved into into... Oh, yes. Thank you. Yep. And the Great Wall of China.

Okay. Damn it. Of course. So, yeah. Those are pretty good, I guess. Probably a little more impressive than just like a building. But the results were actually

quite controversial. The poll was considered unscientific partly because it was possible for people to cast multiple votes. Right. According to Wikipedia.org. which I assume is a Seven Wonders of the World-based website. Great.

Some countries touted their finalists and tried to get more votes cast for it while others downplayed or criticised the contest. For example, Brazil, no offence to Christ the Redeemer. I was a bit surprised at its inclusion. It's the youngest selection. It was unveiled in 1923. Yeah, but it's big. It's big, fantastic.

The biggest art deco statue in the world. Love a bit of deco, but I was kind of surprised by it. In Brazil, there was a campaign called, vote to know Christo, which sounds like they're against it, but really that translates to vote for the Christ, which had the support of private companies, namely telecommunications operators that stopped charging voters to make telephone calls and SMS messages to vote. Everyone in Rio also got a text asking them to vote. Likewise in Peru, an intensive campaign led by the Peruvian Ministry of Commerce and Tourism

had a great impact in the media, and consequently, Peruvian people voted massively for its national wonder, Tichenitsa. Yeah, it's tricky because you go, sorry. A panel should have done it, but then, you know, that it would be equally easily corruptible, right? How do you pick it otherwise? True.

I said Chichanis, sorry, meant Machia pet, with apologies. I'm not having a look at Chichinette, so that's awesome. Oh, yes, I saw that one in Mexico when I went there, and it is really cool. It's incredible. I've seen lots of pictures of it. I thought maybe we could do a little online poll ourselves, because that's not very scientific.

We could do a new, new seven wonders of the world. Oh, that's a great idea. Maybe do some voting on Twitter. I'm pushing for Rialto. I think we could get it in there. We'd have to pick, I worked out, we'd do one of those bracket tournaments. We'd pick 32. It would come down, we'd get a top eight, and then we could have a playoff to see who doesn't make it.

Wow. Yeah, we got Josh Earl involved. Josh Earl, he's the master of the online Twitter tournaments. Yeah, that's a great idea. I'm down. So maybe first we need to get suggestions. We'll get a Twitter list going. Yeah, what should be in the top 32?

These are the other finalists of the top 20. We could call it the what you pick you or something. Fucking hell that's good. I didn't know where you were going. What you pick you. Are you kidding me? How dare you? That's so good.

You fucking. Piece of shit. That is so good. Everyone has a good idea once in a while, don't they? And I've done it. Hey, it broke the box right twice a day. What you pick you? What you pick you?

Fuck, that's good. God, you're amazing. That's so good. Somebody make that. I'm going to sell that as a sticker. That's good shit. What do you pick you? God, he's good.

No, he can't be stopped. I mean, it's definitely a pun, but good stuff. What? That's a pun. Well, whether you intended for the law. The other finalists were the Acropolis in Greece, the Alumbra in Spain, Ancour Wat in Cambodia, the Moai statues of Easter Island. Oh, yeah.

They're really cool. Oh, yeah, incredible. The Eiffel Tower, the Higher Sophia Grand Mosque in Turkey. The Kaimizu Temple in Japan. The Kremlin in Russia. The Nushwanstein Castle in Germany. That's the one that inspired Disney. Pyramids of Giza, Statue of Liberty, Stonehenge.

Oh, yeah. That's as old. That's as old as some of the original wonders. Sydney Opera House and Timbuktu in Mali. That's good. Yeah, a lot of good options there. That's tricky. I love the, what's that in the, is it in St. Petersburg or Moscow or some of the,

that's those sort of bulbous buildings? Oh, St. Basil's. Oh, they're sick. Which is also the best name for them. I'd have them on my long list at the very least. I'd have the Sydney Harbour Bridge. The bridge is great. I love that bridge.

Would you put that above the Opera House? Yeah, I would personally because it's higher up. It's taller. And bigger. Yeah. So yeah, I would put that above it actually because it does actually sit. Size doesn't matter when I can suggest. Like if you're on top of the Sydney Harbour Bridge, you are actually above the Opera House.

Yeah. That's amazing. In terms of height. Oh, okay. But also spiritually? Yes. Thank you. My final thought, I'm surprised no one's brought it up.

The Fleetwood Mac song from Tango in the Night. If you want to sing, seven wonders. Yeah. Yeah, that song? Only very vaguely. I don't know that one. Didn't we record a podcast that's been unreleased about the Tango in the Night album,

that? Did we? Yeah, I'm pretty sure we did. We did the Bruce Springsteen one. Oh, maybe we were going to record one. I don't know where that is. Well, it was good fun. And I remember I listened to the album for it.

So 7 Wonders is a 1987 Fleetwood Mac song from Tango in the Night. Last album with their classic most famous lineup. That's a bit of a spoiler for Listen Now, fans. Forget he said that. Yeah, forget that. That may or may not be coming up in a couple of episodes. I've often wondered what the hell. So it's sung by Stevie Nix, what she's saying at the start.

She says, so long ago, certain place, certain time, you touch my hand on the way, on the way down to Emmeline. Okay. I didn't know what that meant. I looked it up. According to Wiki, it's also a Fleetwood Mac website. Wow. It's quite niche. It's a lot.

Actually, no, it's a 7-Wonders website, and they've just got an article on this song. That makes sense. According to Wiki, Sandy Stewart, who was not a member of Fleetwood Mac, wrote the song, recorded a demo, and sent it to band member Stevie Nicks. without a lyric sheet. So she could just hear the lyrics. Nick's misheard one of the lines in the first verse as all the way down to Emmeline, a contribution that gave her a writing credit alongside Stewart.

A mishearing. That feels right. Nick's later said, I had become so attached to the name Emeline that we kept it in and she gave me a small percentage. I'm here, Sandy. Wow. Okay.

So what was it supposed to be? Do you know? I don't know. Okay. On the way down to Kevin. Federline. Yes. That makes more sense.

K-Fed. I don't know who that is, but I remember the name. Britney's X. Probably a dog. Probably a low dog. Well, on that note... You leave Brittany alone. Kevin Fedline.

That brings us to the end of my report on the seven ancient wonders of the world. Well done, Dave. Good to have you back. Good to be back and nerding out about old stuff. I love. Hey Dave, can I make a quick request now that you've just

whipped through the modern ones? What about seven natural wonders of the world? Can you do that as a future topic? That sounds good. Anyone who wants that to happen suggested into the hat and then you have your name read out.

But mention me as well. Say your name and my name when it says to put your name in. Because you suggested it. I want Dave to read out my name. Well, that'd be nice. I never thought about that.

I'm looking up here. I'm not going to read any out, but it looks like Australia might get it. You mention. Don't. The Rialto. It's just an alleyway.

One day, because people are like Rialto must have been built in the 80s. No, it just appeared one day. Fully formed. Again, on top of a primary school. What the fuck? The kids have been crushed. Where do I drop my kids off for school? Bruno Grollo said, and now let there be Rialto.

And it just rose out of the ground. It's very cool, actually. I wish I'd been there. The school's still on top. Your school's still on top. That's the nipple. It's a school. It is inaccessible.

Yeah. And the kids are still up there. Well. Screaming out. Their bones are. Because they're old now. Yeah, old and bony. If they were born in the 80s, probably the 70s.

Imagine. Impossible. Well, that brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show where we get to spend a little bit of time thanking and appreciating our fantastic Patreon supporters. And if you want to get involved with them, you can go to patreon.com slash to go on pod and there's a bunch of different levels. What are some of the things you can get there, Jeff?

You get three bonus episodes a month. You get access to a Facebook group, which is the loveliest place on the internet. You get to vote on topics and you just get to sleep well at night. If you don't sleep well, join the Patreon. Finally. I've really got to join the Patreon.

to help with that. You got to get some sleep. That's right. Well, the first thing we normally like to do is the Fat Corridor question section of the show. That's right, Jess. I just spent $9.95. That could be yours. Thanks, Belvedere. So, Jess, this first section, fact quote of question section, that's when people who sign up on the Sydney-Shanberg level

get to give us a fact-a-quoted question. They also get to give themselves a nickname or a title. But I think this section, of the show has a little jingle go something like this. Fact quote or question. He always remembers the ding. See, it's like I sing it, but you get the praise every time. Oh, he always remembers the ding. I fucking sing it.

I always remember the sing. How about that? Ah, she always remembers the sing. Thank you. That's good, okay. I don't know. People want this section to be shorter, and we keep finding ways to add more things in it.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that being a feminist is taking too much of your time. I'll do the feminizing here. Jess, I'm lifting you up, okay? Yeah, thank you. Thank you for lifting me up. Sh, Jess, I'm trying to lift you up over here. The first one we got this week comes from Kat Goot,

who has the title of Senior Executive of Having a Dog is My Entire Personality. And Kat is asking a question. Cat writes. Hi guys. I have a question for each of you all to answer about yourselves. Hopefully it hasn't been asked before. So, what do you think is your most toxic trait? We get asked this all the time.

Surely it's obvious by now. This is Kat's first time in the fact quota question section. So I will forgive them for not answering their own question. Oh, I was going to ask if... What I would say is, only polite but cat sure you didn't know i can only assume that that means cat's perfect yeah that's true too uh cat doesn't answer her own question once full on me cat doesn't do it twice cat doesn't get fooled again i can't get full again that's got to be one of the stupidest things any human

being is man i love it so much i love it so much i can't get fooled again George W. Bush. As time's gone on and, you know, put all the politics to one side, I've really gained a respect for some of just this wild, sort of like, I think the quips aren't on purpose, but they're so fun. Yeah. Can't get fooled game. Can't get pulled game.

Now watch this drive. Now watch this drive. That's the best. I mean, yeah, you know, putting the politics to one side, I don't know some people out, I reckon 50% of our audience, big George W fans, 50% probably can't stand him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no in the middle anymore.

Absolutely not. No. So I'm putting that all to one side. You love or you hate the guy. But we can agree. Yes. Jeez, he said some funny things. Not on purpose, but very funny.

Can't get fooled again. Might be my favourite comedian of all. Yeah, yeah. So funny. Yeah. Toxic trait. Well, I don't have one. No, just doesn't have one.

Dave, if you've got a few, what's your number one? Yeah. Cruelty. Kicking dogs. Kicking dogs. Cruelty to animals. Yeah. Quality to humans.

Sadism. Yes. What's your number one though? You've got to rank them. It's hard to pick a favour. It's like choosing between children. To kick. Which do I kick?

Which one? Which kicks? But here's the thing. You can kick them both. A bit of a jealous person. Are you? Can be. Oh, okay.

Are you jealous of me? Yes, I'm so, I'm jealous of those glasses. Yeah, they're pretty good. They look better on you than mine look on me. You want? Yes. See, my toxic trait, I'm too giving. Too giving.

I'm treating this like a job interview. I'm too perfect. I spend too much time at work. I'm too punctual. I spend too much time like trying to be likable or telling people what they want to hear sometimes. Oh yeah, yeah, of course. Wait, what you do is this is you being likable.

I'm too agreeable. I said sometimes to my detriment, my own detriment, and also other people, it's like, it's just got to be honest sometimes. Yeah, just say no. Yeah. Yeah, that's definitely not your toxic trade. Well, it's a great no person.

No, I'm not, but you think I am. Just because you're better at it than me, maybe. But now I'm like, I don't want to let you down. So I'm like, I better say no to some stuff. I better say no to some great opportunities. I've been offered the prime ministership. Oh, wow. And I said, no.

You said no to performing stand-up at Splendor? That was something you're like, I don't think I want to do it, so you didn't do it. That's right. Because a good friend of mine was planning it, knew I was anxious, said, do you want to do it, it's okay to say no? And I said, no, thank you. It helps when you know it's okay to say no. Exactly. If it was...

That's a good friend. If he just messaged and said, hey, you've got a 10 minute spot on Saddlai, I was saying, fantastic, thank you so much. Okay. Can't wait. Right. Okay. There you go. Yeah.

What about your horrifying odour? Is that it now? Is that a toxic trait? It smells toxic. Oh, if we're talking odors, yeah, that's my toxic trait. Top five worst odors. Yeah, the pits, my armpits. Probably one of my most toxic.

I'm, my toxic trait is waiting too long to up. ask for help and then saying, I'll just do it myself anyway. And then resenting everybody because nobody helped me. But I didn't properly ask or ever ask, but they were supposed to know. All right. I'm talking about my dog. He just never picks up his own shit. Come on, dog.

Come on. Help your mother out. One of my toxic traits is talking over Jess, for sure. But I've just, I've just Googled. Toxic traits? Classic toxic traits. See if any of these ring any bells. This is the first thing that came up.

The VillageFamily.org. Manipulative. They use knowledge they gain about you to try and get you to do what they want. Yep, you do that. They make you feel bad about yourself. Yep, all the time. You're always telling me that I'm great at things, that you like that I say no to stuff.

I'm a great host, like you, yeah. Yeah, we get your sarcasm. It makes me feel like a real piece of shit. Being judgmental. Yes, you are incredibly judgmental. You're always like, no, no, no, I don't need any perspective. Fuck that guy. How's you?

Negativity. Oh, God. Insufferable to be around. Self-centered. That rolls right along. Difficulty managing their anger and controlling. They're big ones. I don't think either of you have any of those.

Thank you. I've hidden them well. It did make me think. Oh, I just made me think of one. And I've already forgotten it. Oh, being like not being sincere enough. Like, I think I'm real bad. at it just getting into this mode of everything sarcastic and I can't stop sometimes and I

know it's happening and I just get into the habit of it and I can't stop and I imagine that would be infuriating to be around knowing nod I'm sorry that did seem like I was like yeah Matt no I know what I'm talking about the person that I live with is the same oh right and we have many conversations about sometimes you can just answer my question yeah I think Just because of the beer pioneer shoot, that was three weeks away with a few other people. And I'm like, you know, as it went along, I'm like, I can just answer questions. Not everything's a fucking bit. And yeah.

But yeah, I don't, I don't read these. I'll read them out. Cat's the first time I hear. Even though Cat Goots, a long time, a friend of the show. And I also think we answered it quite genuinely as well because there's like the, I think probably what Kat's getting at is that, you know, on the internet at the moment, people talking about their toxic traits and it's like thinking I can carry all the groceries at once. And we're like, I don't know. I guess.

Oh, okay. Do we miss reading this? I don't think we answered the question. I mean, I also do that. I'll try for a one trip with all the groceries. No bags, thanks. I'll just, I'll hug these. I've got a few pockets.

I got it. I think that watermelon should fit in my back pocket. Should be all good. Thank you, Kat, though. Love that question. Next time, Kat. Give us an answer as well. We want to know about you.

Yeah. That also maybe would have set the tone for if it was a silly one or I manipulate everyone I mean. Yeah. Jacob Lane is next up who's given himself the title of The Kids Call Me Hoju. The kids can call you Ho-Jew. Because Jacob Lane used to be our Simpsons auditor. Yeah, that's right. But that must have become a burden pretty quick.

Oh God, absolutely. I think it must have. We weren't paying it much. And that, I mean, nothing. And I think we also, I feel like we've dropped way off on the Simpsons quotes as well. Yeah, they come and go. They ebb and flow. Yeah.

But that's a good one. The kids call me, hold you. Jacob also has a question writing, I'm in Melbourne in December to see Tism of course. Dave and I will also be there, Jacob. We'll be there, Jacob. Let's hang. And I was wondering if you guys have any suggestions of anything else for me to do while I'm there.

Like going to an Irish pub, for example. Yeah, there's a few. elephant wheelbarrow on Burke. Well, that's more of a British pub, Jess. I don't know why you're trying to give Jacob the bum steer here. Irish pubs. Irish pubs are for me. I know nobody else in my Irish pub.

Yeah, you go to the British ones, your dog. Well, obviously, Jacob, you've got to enjoy the coffee and the laneways. What's the, what's a, is there any, because you're a coffee fan. What's a place you should go? What's if you were going to go experience good coffee? Are the ones at the United Service stations, are they as good as people say? Yeah, absolutely. Not as good as a 7-Eleven, obviously.

Or Jack's Cafe at Hungry Jacks? Jack's Cafe, they are pretty good. We have a thing over here, Jacob, I don't know if you've heard of it, Maccafe. Oh, yeah, Maccafe. They're everywhere. Was that Scottish? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Way back when we did the McDonald's episode, I forget who did it, but there was a fact that I found interesting.

I think Australia was the first one to have Maccafes. Yeah, that's right. Maybe it's still the only ones, I don't know. No, I think they're elsewhere now, but they started here. That's a funny, funny fact. Yeah. Yeah. What do you do in Melbourne?

Is that what the question? Yeah, yeah. If you were traveling, and I know Jacob, I believe it's from Perth. Go to the museum. The museum's cool. Yeah, you should, if you've been watching, especially if you've been watching our Artifax series. Yeah.

I mean, go check out any of those. Heidi or the NGV. Yeah, that's great and free. Go have a beer with Chloe at Young & Jackson. Yeah, that's cool. But yeah, there's like their Melbourne museum's really cool as well. What else is there? Footies over by then.

You might be able to catch some cricket of the MCG, which is, it was fun. If you like to get a bit of real culture. Do you want to do some shopping? You can get a bus out to Chadston, the Fashion Capital. Wow. Take that Milan. You could see the realto. You could, oh, you've got to see the realto, Jacob.

You're crazy if you don't. You could, of course, shop at the Paris end of Collins. Collins Street. Yes, that's right. If you are in the parisend of Collins Street, there's loon and you can get a really good croissant. Oh, I mean, they don't call it the parisend for nothing, do they? There's a croissant shop. I mean, so many great suggestions here, Jacob.

Jacob, you should kick that off in the Facebook Patreon group because there's a fair few Melbourneings in there who'll have better. I don't think we do enough stuff. Go see some comedy. What's one of the, go see a show at the Comedy Republic. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Oh, yeah, absolutely do that. It's just a cool bar as well.

It's great bar downstairs and then go up and see a show there. Yeah. Pretty much any night, you know, most nights the week, they'll have a great show on there. That'd be a hot tip. I think you should post on the Facebook group for the Patreon because fellow patron, Matthew Webb does Melbourne tours. That's a great suggestion. And has some amazing info. Yeah.

Matthew's got. You do do a tour with him and then he could tell you anywhere you want to go. He'll tell you where to go. So if you just want him to tell you to fuck off, he'll do that. that. Yeah. You know, if you tip well. Yeah. It's a weird. It's a weird system, but the more you pay, the more it'll tell you to fuck off if you want him to. Matthew's very good in that way. Incredible. Very generous. Thank you, Jacob, for that question. Yeah, it's funny. I always, I just think, I've really got to see Melbourne like a tourist sometime. I always forget to do it.

So I don't know anything. You could, you know, walk down Sydney Road and go to Stupid Old Studios and record a podcast. It'd be pretty cool if you want to do that. And then maybe get zambreros in the break. Get fish and chips from overeats. You know, live like a local. Thank you, Jacob. The next one comes from Michael Derizzi,

aka the High King of Noldor. Any ideas of what that means? I like it. I love it. It may be revealed in this fact. Okay. Michael writes, Bob, in the recent Chow Chow Chiller episode,

you kept apologising for being the only one doing the Patreon bonus end of pod content. I just wanted to say, though, that in your absence, it can be worse, far worse. For my shout out some years ago, Matt and Dave, and a jest replacement decided that I was some kind of Voltron penis thing. Never a... I don't remember that at all. So a jest replacement.

Never apologized for being... Probably Mesao. Never apologize for being the one and only one. I'm sorry, I've fucking butcher that. Never apologize for being the only one there for us, Bob. You're the best. P.S. Matt and Dave, you're the best too.

Wow. I wish he hadn't said that. Really. I was really touched for a bit there. Really watered down to your compliment, didn't it? I'm glad you gave us that little PS there. I appreciate it. That's very nice.

I appreciate a talking Voltron penis. That sounds great, Michael. I can't believe you're spitting in our gift horse's mouth or whatever the thing. That sounds like truly inspired stuff. Yeah. We've done some rubbish ones over the years. Vultron penis. That's funny.

That's good stuff. That's blessed. We blessed you with Vultron's penis, Michael. What a sentence. You're welcome. That's yours to keep, Michael. That's a memory you can have forever. And Michael, thank you so much for listening through to the Patreon section,

which is everyone's favorite section of the show. The final one this week comes from Vincenzo, Bonadonna, aka Mr. Act. How's that spelled? E-C-H-T. How would you say that? I don't know. I like it.

And we didn't figure out what the High King of Noldor was either. No. But Vincenzo has a fact as well. Okay, Mr. Act. Writing. Sound travels faster through... Hang on. I never read this.

I read them, okay? But you just started mumbling dizzle? Hang on. When there's a typo, it really stuffs me up. While you're reading that, I'll say the hiking of Noldor, it looks like a Lord of the Rings thing. Okay, great. That makes sense.

And I think Vincenzo has just done a typo, but I think it's meant to be water. Here we go. Sound travels faster through water than through air. Or, if it was as written, sound travels faster through water than through air. But really, this is a suggestion for primates. Ooh.

I sent this into the primates Gmail very near the beginning. I'm so sorry. I should never have set up that email. I lost control of it very early on. I also haven't signed to the book sheet one in so long. I've really, I've got to... Sorry everyone. I don't know if you can delete them.

I should delete him, so it just bounces back. But yeah, I've got a form... I'm going to set that up again when we get primates going in soon. Anyway, a Futurama episode, A Clockwork Origin, introducing Dr. Banjo and orangutan. Future... Futurama episode, Fryan Leela's Big Fling, which brings back Guntherma.

from Mars University and Dr. Banjo. Two great suggestions. We did do, I remember we did a future arm episode with Gunter, maybe his first one at Mars University, but I don't recall doing a Dr. Banjo one. So thanks for those suggestions. And Vincenzo finishes by saying, thank you three for everything.

I'm always delighted to be a part of such a wonderful community. Shout out to the Facebook page. That's very nice. Cheers to you, Vincenzo. Good on you, Vincenzo. Thanks for those facts, quotes or questions. Like I said, if you want to get involved in that section, you can ask us anything. You can tell us any fact.

You can give us any quote. You can do suggestions or brags or whatever you like, really. And all you need to do is sign up on the Sydney-Shaunberg level. You also get to vote more times on topics and all sorts of stuff on that level. The next thing we like to do is shout out to a few of our other great supporters. Jess, you normally come up with a little bit of a game for this section. That's true. I think maybe we should

Oh we'll assign them each A list they appear in Okay You know how like seven wonders of the world or whatever They can be in a In a Buzzfeed listical Fantastic I love that very much Okay

So you can do the first one just to really Yeah because I always Help explain to us what it means I butcher my explanation No no I just I butcher my interpretation The first one I'd love to thank from Blair Athol, which is where the stewards are from in Perth, in Scotland,

only this is Blair Athol in New South Wales. I didn't know there was one there. There you go. I think there's a Blair Athol in Victoria as well. But from Blair Athol in New South Wales, Australia, Tim Almondte. Ooh, Tim Almondte. How do you like your pastor? I like mine Elmonte.

Tim Almondi. This is the BuzzFeed list, listical, which is top 10 names that sound like a fancy. French dish. Tim Almonte. Top of the list. Top of the list. And it could also be

Tim Almonte. Maybe, I don't know. That's also quite, but it also sounds pretty French. It's very French. It's not Elmonte. It's Almond. You sound like an imbecile. So.

You incident coward. And I'm really loving how this kind of implies that Jess sees the Seven Wonders of the World as a BuzzFeed article. I assume that's where Dave got a That's where I got him. Guilty. Next up, I'd love to thank from Blackburn in Victoria, Australia.

Jeremy Ballard. Dave, what list is Jeremy on? Top 10 people, most likely to... I love a run-up. Top 10 ballards. They're with Tom and eight others. Sure, there's other ballards. It's got to be other ballads.

And bollards. Top 10 Ballards and Bullards. And then there's the other eight are just photos of Ballards blocking streets and stuff. J.G. Ballard. An English novelist. Dave would know them. Do you know them, Dave? I love their work.

There's also Thomas Bellard, Virginia Colonial Politician. Oh, there you go. Dr. Susan Ballard, principal scientist at the microbiological diagnostic unit of public health laboratory. Jeremy, you're in fine company, but you're number one on the list. There's also Tom Ballard, British Mountaineer. Wow, there's two tombs and a Thomas. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Finally for me, I'd love to thank from Toyohashi in Japan.

Ashley Bartholomey. Ashley Bartholomey. From Japan, very cool. Have you been to Japan? I have. I've never been. I love to go. Do you been to Japan?

No, I haven't. Everybody that has gone raves about it, though. Yeah, people love it. I would love to go. But Dave, you don't like Japanese food. Is that right? No. Remember, that's where he had shepherd's pie and garlic bread.

That's right. Every night. That was Japan. Every night. So what list is Ashley on? Top seven non-Japanese dishes in Japan. And what's the Ashley Bartholomey dish? Oh, that's Ashley special.

Yeah. Which is a lasagna, but also a crepe. That's incredible. Very thin. That's going to be two things. But it is. It's incredible. It's incredible.

It's like the super thin crepe, then a cheese and tomato and then super thin. And it's still. So thin. Even all of that, it's still thin as a crepe. Number two on the list. Number one is obviously Shepers Bar with Gallic bread. Yeah, obviously. I had an eggplant parma at a pub the other day that was a lasagna.

Oh. It wasn't. They did it wrong. Normally you'd get an eggplant parma and it's like it's crumbed like a chicken. Yeah, a little bit crunchy. Right. And it's got sauce on top. No, no, no.

This was just like layers of eggplant. It sounds like a musaka. But it was also gross. It didn't even taste good. Oh, because I was going to say like a veggie lasagna, that sounds good. That sounds delightful. But they stuffed up both dishes. Yeah, because you could just use pasta.

But the chips and salad, delicious. Right. Well, that's good. Yeah, I don't like eggplant that much. Nah. It's rare. I reckon one in five times I have an eggplant dish. I don't think it's gross.

Yeah, I agree. That's not a good enough. I don't play those odds unless I have to. I've had some good eggplant parmas. And I've had some absolute shockers as well. I think I had a pretty good one at the Chippo, where we did our gig there years ago in Sydney. Yeah.

Yeah. That's one of the few I remember being okay, which is high praise for a person who hates eggplant. Just fuck off eggplant. Yeah, I reckon fuck it off. It's like if I had to get rid of a vegetable, it might be out there. Top of the way. On a listical.

Yeah. That'd be top of the list. Maybe I feel like I would I would keep it around up. Sorry, Orbegin. Yes. Now I feel like if it was. was called Orbanine. I've got a little more time for it. Do you reckon? Just because it's like it's a cool word, eggplant. I don't eat eggs either, so egg plant. Yeah. It's not a nice word

eggplant. No, no, no, no. Not a nice connotation in emoji form either. I thought it's a very nice connotation. Who wants to do the next three? I'm up for it? Go on, Dave. All the way. Oh my goodness, this is amazing. We've just had someone from Japan and we've got another person here From Kawasaki in Japan, it is Chiharu Nishimoto. Chiharu Nishimoto is on the... The 30 under 30. Oh, yeah. And what, just like, just being great.

Being the leaders of tomorrow. Wow. Today. That's right. And Chiharu... It's like, watch these names, you know? You know, if you are older than 30, this is obviously like a backdated issue. Yeah.

That's from whenever you were under 30. That's right. And you've, if you have, if you are older now, my word, have you not reached your potential? Yes, you have. We're all very proud of you. You're one of the few. There's a few. Where are they now type people on that list?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you are over 30. That's right. But if you aren't. If you aren't, then, I mean, I'm looking into the future. Wow. Wow. That is fun.

That's pure coincidental that we had two. Japanese shoutouts in a row. Very, very cool. I'd like to thank now from West Harp Tree in Great Britain, George Wright. George Wright. On the listicle of people who are right by name and right by nature. Just people getting it done. George Wright, top of the list.

You know what George has done? He's been out there. He's been working the fields. he's been picking up ladies bags when they drop them. Yeah. Old ladies who can't bend down and get them. He'll be there. Is that to help them or?

To help them. Okay, good. He's doing it right. And he'll, he trims hedges even when he, they're not his hedges. Okay, that's an overstep, but okay. As a favor, he always asks first. He always asked first, he always asked for you need a little trim hedge. I say, what?

Does he ask? Sorry. I had some of my words. Sorry. Do you need your hedge trimmed there? Oh, so yeah, that'd be fantastic. I thought he's asking the hedge for permission rather than the person. He doesn't.

He'll ask both. You're right, you're right there. I'll sort of you out. You need a little. All the hair, short back on sides. Hey, there you go. Hey, you're right. Hey, you're right.

Hey, you're right. I'll give a little trim here. Oh, he's putting it down. Anyway, yeah, he's on the top ten list of rights by name. Right by name. George, right. Thank you so much. to also think from Pascovail here in Victoria, Australia.

It's Hillsy, everyone. Hilsie? Hilsie. Hilsie? Adam Hills, do you think? Maybe. So there is only one L. It's like they've combined Will Anderson and Adam Hills into one name.

And it's Hilsie. Hilsie. Hilsie. Well, do you, I've made it on the list of top ten people mistaken for Adam Hills. Yeah. Along with Will Anderson. Who else is on that list? Probably Alan Bro.

Alan Bro. Yeah, you'd get it. Miff, I guess. Yeah. If you can run it by that, Jill, I suppose, as well. All the Spicks and Spex Associates. And Will Anderson and number one is Hilsie. Hilsie.

Because we've done it here. Yeah, we've done it right here. And where we apologize for that, Hilsie. You deserve better than that. Sorry, Hilsie. That's on us. Apologise. I've got to see you top of that list.

And thanks so much for your support. In the beautiful neighborhood of Pasco Vale, not too far from it, just a stone's throwaway. Wow. From Brunswick. Quite the stone. Big, yeah, it's a big piff. Yeah.

It's a big old. It's a big piff. It's a big piff. It's a big old piff. You're chucking it all the way over West Brunswick and the rest of Brunswick to get it to Pascovale. But I reckon, you know, they've just did it with a leg. You can piff with your leg. I mean, it's kicking, is what a lot of people call.

But you call it leg piffing, don't you? Yeah, I call it leg piffing. Thank you for using my preferred term. Can I thank some people? That'd be awesome. Great. I would love to thank from Belfast, Mike Lawrensen. Mike Lawrence.

Mike Lawrence is on the list. Dave, I'll kick this off and you can bring it home. Dave. I love them. This always works. Mike Lawrenceon is on the list for the top 13 bakers who've made a... Baker's dozen.

That's perfect because the list has 13. That is good. That is good stuff. That's a nice list. You're making it like that's a rare thing for bakers to do. Yeah, but that is... Of children. He's, they've had 13 kids, is that what you mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, credit. Baker's who've had, who've birthed 13 children. That's nice. That's good list, actually. What a list. That's a nice list. Can you do a Belfast accent, Bob? No.

I'd have to think of that guy from Cold Feet. I'd have to hear his voice to be able to do it. Yeah. I can't think of it. James Nesbitt, is that his name? Yeah. Sure thing. That's a name I recognize.

I know the guy you're talking about. Are they the same person? Not sure. I don't know. I don't know. It is. That is. Okay, yeah, great.

He's a Northern Irish. I don't know if he's from Belfast. I can't do Northern Irish. I love it. Can't do it. Hi, I'm James Nesbitt. I take it back. You've nailed that.

Wow. I would also love to thank from Austria. So Vienna in Austria. Vienna. I'd love to thank S-R. S-R. How do you spell that? Yes.

Yes. SR. S.R. S.R. It is the letters S.R. Correct. Senior. That's my dash name. Surely there's going to be top eight people who use two initials in their name. Yeah, like P.T. Barnum.

Right. E.M. Forster. Yep. W.A. Jordan. What's about that? W.T. Fields. H.D. Wells. She said in me.

Yeah. And then J.R. Just J.R. J.R. Puff and stuff. Is that a thing? SR. Sorry, SR. I said JR. I was thinking of J.R. Tolkien. Anyway, S.R. Thank you so much.

J.R.R. Tolkien, of course, not on the list. Is that straight? Yeah, absolutely. kicked out. Get the fuck off my list. And finally, I would love to thank from Northgate in Queensland. I would love to thank Jessica Cooper. Coops!

I believe that is, I've met Coops. I know Coops. If I'm thinking of the right person, apologies if I'm not. Just yelled. It's a relatively common name, Jessica Cooper. Yeah, it is actually. But either way, you're Coops to me. That's nice.

Big fan of the Coops, the Coops family. And what list of the Coopers on? In particular, Jessica, another Jessica, Jess. Yeah, it's actually the top 10 Jessica's. Wow. And may I remind you, it was the most popular girl's name for about a 10-year period. So to get into the top 100 is actually an incredible list. To make it to the top 10, Jessica Cooper, I mean,

is an achievement. You're putting that on your resume. That's in your instabio. Like, that's huge. That is big. That is big. Wow. That is big time. Yeah. Jessica Cooper will be the reason that the name Jessica comes back in fashion. Oh yes. Any day now. It's coming back. Last time I was in town in Brisbane, Jessica and I went to Ricks and tore the town apart, or at least that one bar. That sounds right. We were much older than everyone else there, dancing it up. Rick's. Pretty cool, actually. Pretty cool.

Pretty cool to actually think about that. No, Matt, that's actually incredibly cool. I'll have you know. Hey, grandpa, get off the dance floor. Yeah. That sort of cool stuff. That's cool. Stallone was calling you a...

It's getting called old by Stallone. Bit rich, Slah. Yeah. Have a look in the mirror, mate. Yeah. Okay? You ain't no spring chicken. No.

And nothing wrong with that. That's fine. But like, don't... You know? Why are you calling me? Why you call me old? I'm younger than you. Well, I'm not younger than you.

No, but he doesn't know that. He doesn't know that. I look. I could be younger than you. I've got beautiful skin for my age. Yeah, you look incredible. So thank you very much to Jessica, S.R. Mike, Hilsey, George, Chi Haru, Ashley, Jeremy and Tim.

The last thing we like to do is go through some very, very special supporters and welcome them into our Triptitch Club. to be involved in this you just have to be signed up on the shoutout level or above three straight years and then you get welcomed into the club it's a club

you're allowed in but you're never allowed out again it's lifelong membership whether you like it or not and hopefully that sounds good to you you know not sinister at all yeah we're trying to make this sound appealing so hopefully you like that

so normally what happens here is a bit of theory of the mind I'm standing on the door this is a genuine club yeah clubhouse is It's a bar. It's everything. There's booze if you want.

You know, there's massages and there's like you can get a manny petty. Yeah. We've got one of the whole feet from that Colossus thing or whatever. Oh my goodness. There's a photos place. There's a tow ring shop. We got all that in there. But like cool toe rings.

Yeah. But no buttons. Dave, we vetoed Dave. Apparently. Dave wanted to twiddler button shop. Good luck if you're down so hard that your jeans break because we can't fucking fix them. And Sylvester Stallone's on the side going, oh, man, do have your pants.

Dave, if there was a button shop, you could go buy yourself with your button, and then what are you going to do? You don't know how to put it back together. What we need is a tailor. Yeah. A seamstress. Just suggested a haberdashery section.

At least then you'd have some thread and needle. Exactly. You're just like, no, I just want buttons. I like buttons. I can sue me. I would if I could, mate. I would. Don't they just stick back on?

I don't understand. Oh, Dave. Oh, sweet, sweet Dave. You stupid idiot. You beautiful fool. So anyway, it's a club. And I'm standing on the door. I got the velvet rope there.

I've got a clipboard with a list of names. This week we have five names on it. I'm going to read out your name. Dave's on stage inside the club. He's got the microphone. He is the master of ceremonies. He's there to hype you up. Welcome you in.

Everyone else has been in. They're clapping along to your name. They're chanting along. But, ooh, David. Slah's there. Sly never,

you know, he's sort of an honorary member. Jess there is behind the bar, but she's sort of like Dave's Paul Schaefer type. Yeah. She's mixing cocktails. She's all going to have some dishes. She's playing the keyboards.

That's right. But she's also hyping Dave up. Yeah. Because Dave isn't the best emcee. And Jess is there to make sure he believes himself. I am the best emcee and she's there for me. Yes, that's what I meant.

Hey, this one I actually thought of something to serve for food. Oh, fantastic. You know how usually I don't. Yeah. Well, this time I've, in honor of all these big, amazing statues, I've made a life-sized version of myself made out of sandwiches.

To eat up. That's fantastic. Just little finger sandwiches. They're all different. Oh, that's so good. It's fun. Yum. Why do you laugh?

That's cute. Start with a belly button. In honor of the seven wonders of the world. I've made myself out of sandwich. Here it is the eighth wonder of the world. And it's life size. So it's 5 foot 7. It's not actually that impressive in terms of like grand scheme of things.

But in terms of like sandwich display, that's pretty good. A sandwich person, I'm impressed. That's huge for a sandwich person. So just come up with that. And a drink, do you normally have a 7 wonders of the world? Yes. So what I've done is I've actually made, I've had custom glassware made of you guys. And I'm going to fill them with water.

And then people can be like, who's this tall drink of water? And it'll finally be true about you. Wow. The ninth and tenth The wonders of the wood. And Dave, you know. I'm honoured.

Yeah. You're really cute. Thank you so much, Jess. And Dave, you normally book a band as well for the after party? Absolutely. Tonight we are blessed by the white stripes playing the hardest button to button.

Over and over again. Do they have that moving drum? Do it? Yeah, that's right. Fantastic. Moving around. All right, well, there's five names I'm about to induct, Dave. Are you ready? I'm so ready to welcome them in. Welcome them in.

The latest legends. All right. First up, I'd love to welcome in from Alton in Hampshire in Great Britain. It's Philly Ellis. Do you Philly jealous? No, I'm Philly Ellis. That is good. From Carumban in Queensland, Australia. It's Joel Broome. Oh, brum, brum. From Butt in MT in the United States. It's Anita Mathe. I'm thirsty.

I need a drink and then I need a Matthews. From Moncrief in the Australian Capital Territory. It's Nick Lucas. Oh, somebody stole my heart. No, they nicked my heart. Nick Lucas. That's good stuff. That's good stuff.

And finally from Mugger Willy Street in New South Wales, it's Christian Every. You are my Christian Everything. Yes. Welcome in Christian Nick. Anita, Joel and Philly. Where is MT in the US, Dave? Doesn't matter. Welcome all of them in Montana, maybe.

Doesn't matter? The Big Sky Country, isn't that what Montana is? It's Montana. Wow. I'd love to go there. Thank you so much to Christian Nick, Anita, Joel and Philly. I'd also love to visit Elton Corrumban, but Moncrief and Wongar Willie Street.

Thanks so much for joining all of you. Make yourselves at home. Please enjoy the White Strait. repeating that relatively short song over and over, enjoy some of Jess's fine. Tall glasses of water and sandwiches. And these are just the right temperature, is that correct? Sandwiches.

Yeah, because of boiling hot. You know how people go to see stuff recreated in Lego? Yeah. Hot sandwiches. They're not toasted. They're just really hot. Because, yeah, Dave wanted, that's great for Dave. He wanted a hot toasted sandwich.

Yeah, but it's not toasted. It's just hot. I'll have a muggered at a pizza. Yeah, people go to see. Just line up to see stuff made at the Lego. I would genuinely go to a place where they'd recreated wonders of the world and people out of sandwiches. Yeah.

That's way more interesting to me. Thank you. Sure. Well, that brings this to the end of the episode. Jess, what else do we need to tell people before we go? That if they want to suggest a topic, they can do so. There's a link in the show notes. There's also you can find it on our website,

which is do go on pod.com, which is where you can find a whole bunch of things. You can listen to old episodes, and you can buy merch. And we love you. And we hope that that thing that you were worried about has cleared up. Yeah. That rash. It's not as big as you thought it was. Yeah.

Hopefully that rash is not as big as you thought it was. Oh, that's something quite small. It's a small rash. Dave Booter's home. We'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening. And goodbye. Later.

Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree. Very, very easy.

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