Do Go On - 361 - The Hollywood Bandit
Episode Date: September 21, 2022This week we look at Scott Scurlock AKA the 'Hollywood Bandit', a bank robber named after his use of elaborate disguises. Prosthetics, fake chins, moustaches, hats, wigs and glasses... he eluded autho...rities for years. Recorded live at The Ritz Cinema in Sydney.This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 04:23 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).See us live: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Check out our new merch! : https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: dogoonpod@gmail.com Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:The FBI Files:https://youtu.be/UadBU41TIHkMastermind:https://youtu.be/gT_8hrDoBGg https://www.historylink.org/File/9043 https://www.thurstontalk.com/2020/11/21/the-hollywood-bandit-the-absolutely-true-tale-of-washingtons-most-prolific-bank-robber/ https://archive.seattletimes.com/archive/?date=19961130&slug=2362383 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you.
And we should also say this is 2026.
Jess, what year is it?
2026.
Thank God you're here.
Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenjai Amarna, 630 each night at the
Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun.
We'd love to see you there.
Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.
If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto
for shows.
That's going to be so much fun.
Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online.
And I'm here too.
Oh my goodness.
I've never not been the theme song.
Wow.
Oh gosh.
I am not fit enough to do that.
Hello, good evening.
How are we feeling?
Fantastic.
Sydney, Ritz Cinema.
Great to be here.
Hello and welcome to another episode of Dugawa.
My name is Dave Warnacki,
and I'm on stage,
and so is the popcorn and the drinks.
But that's also,
happens to be a little nickname
that I like to give my friends and my co-host.
Can you please give it up for the popcorn of the drinks of this show?
Hello, hey, welcome, hey!
I was going to cheat, but you cheated first.
That was stupid.
That was real dumb.
For the good people at home, Matt and Jess just raced to the stage,
and Matt absolutely smashed, Jess.
Isn't that right?
Hey, Dave, the other thing I've noticed is that it's just your mic that's fucked.
So Jess and I'll take it from here.
But is that because you can only hear me from?
No, our friend Mars sells at the back and he told me.
Do you want to, we should swap because you talk way more than me.
You just swap mics, mate.
You don't, all right.
Get up.
Fucking out.
Men.
Sorry.
How's that?
How is this?
But is this a part where I realize that none of you have understood a thing I've said
and you've just been humoring me for like 10 minutes?
You know the teacher who'd just like, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
That's been you, Charlie Brown.
You know what I'm talking about.
I know what you're talking about.
Sick.
Hey, we can start the show now.
Give me a round of applause if you've ever heard Do Go On our podcast before.
Thank you so much.
That is always a relief.
Other end of the scale, and don't be shy now.
Give me a round of applause if you've never heard the show before.
Awesome.
Fantastic for you of you in tonight.
Great.
Well, Matt, for the people that haven't been here before, haven't heard the show before, how, what, what, does it work?
Well, how it works, sounds.
How, what, wah, wow.
It works by, actually, it doesn't affect my voice as much, because it sounds shit anyway.
So the way the show works is one of the three of us selects a topic, usually suggested by a listener of the show.
an event or a person or a place or a dog.
We haven't done a dog before, but...
Any day now.
In any sense of that phrase.
And then we bring back the knowledge we've learned about that topic
and report it to our two friends,
sort of like a high school report.
And the other two sit and listen carefully and thoughtfully
without any dog shit riffs.
And this week, Dave Warnocky is doing the report.
And Dave, we normally get on a topic with a question. Do you have a question this week?
I do have a question. And because we are recording this in a cinema, I picked three Hollywood-themed topics that I put to our Patreon supporters to vote on.
And this is a multiple choice, but do you think they picked A, the actor, B, the movie, or C, the bank robber?
What do you think?
Is that how vague the options were?
Yeah.
No, I didn't, I don't want to spoil the other ones.
Oh, okay, gotcha, yeah, that makes sense.
Surely they went for the bank robber.
They absolutely went for the bank robber.
Yes.
We love a heist.
This is the story of the Hollywood Bandit.
Ooh.
Did anyone vote for this topic?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
It's only been suggested by one person.
Really?
Let's see if they're in tonight.
That is Baluska from Kayama, New South Wales.
Oh.
Belushka, are you in tonight?
No.
Okay, that's interesting.
This was our best shot at them being in.
Some fan.
Baluska, it's quite an interesting name.
It's spelled B-A-L-U-S-C-A,
and then Belushka's giving me the pronunciation,
and then added when they suggested the topic,
My parents are fools
who let my sister name me when she was two years old.
Baluska!
It's not a dog.
No, it's amazing. I love it.
That's good.
All right, thanks so much for the suggestion
because it's a good story,
and tonight we are talking about Scott Scurlock.
Now Dave's Mike's fucked again.
Can we fix it?
Did you say Scott Scherlock?
Skor-Skarlow.
I did go a little bit Sean Connery with my Schott there.
Scott Skirlock or William Scott Skirlock, as his birth certificate stated,
padding for work out there, was born on March 5th, 195 in Fairfax County, Virginia.
He was the son of a minister or son of a preacher man, some could say.
William...
Very early on, he's padding.
Yeah.
And his mother was an elementary school teacher.
named Mary Jane.
Okay, what's going on there, Scott?
Hey, it's 420 somewhere, am I right?
Yeah, that's right. I partake.
You partake.
Never inhale, but I do kiss them.
I've kissed a few joints in my life.
He's the son of a minister and a bit of Mary Jane.
And according to History Link,
HistoryLink has a great article by Darrell C. McCleary that I'll link to.
This is a quote about Scott's childhood.
Although religious, his parents were extremely permissive,
and Scott grew up without guidelines, never developing a moral compass.
He understood the difference between right and wrong.
He just didn't care.
That's badass.
He's a bad boy.
He's also often referred to as a Peter Pan type.
Where's green?
Yes.
He looks fantastic.
people's windows.
Fantastic.
Bit of a creep.
Fucks pirates.
Fights? You said fights.
Yeah.
If you say anything weird tonight, you just blame the microphone.
They say that Scott was a boy who never grew up, shunning all responsibility.
And he could fly.
Yes.
And he had a fairy best friend.
But I just stuck to the interesting stuff, so I've got nothing about that.
Yeah, like mum's name and birth certificate.
the important stuff.
Nailing it tonight.
He lived in outdoorsy childhood,
loving the great outdoors and building stuff.
The News Tribune describes Scott
as becoming a skilled carpenter as he aged.
I know a...
I know a carpenter as well.
Very skilled in many things.
Much like this guy,
never really grew up.
Not beyond 33 anyway.
It's so much better when no one's watching
so we can edit out stuff, but...
The News Tribune,
also says his greatest gift was his personality,
which is so weird.
Fucking brutal.
The weirdest senders.
I've had that said.
It's a great personality.
Okay.
What about my tits?
They're all so great.
Those who knew him say he could just about talk anybody into just about anything.
Okay.
So he's a convincing kind of guy.
Also, not his business.
value, but he was very, very good-looking.
Really?
Like you were saying, people who say their biggest gifts, their personality are normally
are gos.
Yeah.
Not Scotty.
Really?
Oh, my gosh.
So he's good-looking and he has a good personality.
Yeah, you can have it all, as I prove day in, day out.
So he's a hot guy, and I'll give you some journalistic evidence.
According to the Seattle Times, in an article written by what seems like a very
horny journalist.
This is what it says.
I'm direct quoting here.
It says, oh boy, hachimachi.
I'm going to need a little lie down.
I'm going to need a cold shower.
With his curly dark hair, trim body and easy smile,
he left a vivid impression, especially on women.
He looks like Mel Gibson, I swear to God.
His lawyer, Sean Newman, told a receptionist,
she agreed that William Scott Scurlock was a knockout and dated him
okay
yeah the lawyer also added he was an interesting guy
if you were to see him on the street even if you hadn't shaved for a couple of days
he still looked good
he was very physically fit
oh my god
that's so weird and how like they were so keen
like they didn't believe that you would believe he looked like Mel Gibson
I swear to God I swear to God
no bullshit
Just publish a photo.
This is the 90s.
They didn't have photos back there.
They had descriptions from horny journalist and horny lawyers.
That's amazing.
It's all that has to go on.
So he's a hot guy.
He's a convincing guy, but he doesn't give a shit guy.
You know what I mean?
Mm-hmm.
He moved to Hawaii in his early 20s, a place you've recently been.
That's true.
If you want to paint the scene.
What's it like there?
Very Hawaiian.
My goodness.
Thank you.
That went as well.
I was expected.
Some trees, beach, I'm not done.
Oh, okay, sorry, sorry.
A picture of trees, water,
uh...
You've said trees twice.
They got a lot of them.
And you said ocean and water.
Yep.
Did you go to Hawaii?
Yes, I've been.
I've definitely been.
I didn't just need a break from you.
I'm going to go holiday, you guys.
I'll see you in a couple of weeks.
So you moved to Hawaii in his early.
to when he worked on a tomato farm.
See, like how he's growing up.
He's getting an honest job.
He supplemented his income by secretly growing marijuana.
When the farm owner found out,
was that a year?
I know what he's talking about.
Get him.
Kissing a couple of tomatoes.
When the farm owner found out, he was fired,
and Scott had to move back to Olympia in Washington,
where he enrolled in college with the hopes of becoming a doctor.
And this time, he again,
met at his income. This time, making crystal meth on campus.
Oh, that's a leap.
My tongue-kissed meth.
That's a problem. How you do it?
Well, that's how you do it, yeah.
You've said too much.
Allegedly sneaking into the college science labs after hours to make the drug.
HistoryLink also writes he attended classes, in quotation marks, at the
college sporadically for about six years,
or whilst becoming a major source of supply of the drug in the northwest.
Oh, wow.
So he's just basically pretending to be a college kid,
so he can just make drugs in their lab when the professors go home.
When you say the northwest of what?
The United States.
Okay, yeah, that makes sense.
Sorry.
I just wonder if I knew him or not.
And Melbourne.
My guy also looked like Mel Gibson.
I swear to God.
Mel Gibson.
Is that not what we were talking about?
I swear to God, Mel Gibson.
Imagine just saying my drug dealer is so hot.
It's so hot, eh?
Imagine getting a really bad drug habit,
just so you can get closer to your drug dealer?
Can you come around again?
I need more.
I need more.
More of those big blue eyes.
Oh, every time I see him, I get a lethal weapon.
Mel Gibson.
Anyway.
Gribson.
Sorry, Mel Grybson.
He rented a farm with his new money.
So he went off campus, bought his own place, or rented his own place,
20 acres of land nearby, which also had a barn that became the perfect place for his own secret drug lab.
It was also on this property that he began to construct his greatest love, his tree house.
Okay.
And it was massive, rising three stories or six.
60 feet into the air.
He built it with his friends, which he bragged
only took two weeks because they were powered
with the power of meth.
A three-story
tree house.
How fucking big is this tree?
It's massive.
It was seven different trees together.
It was massive. It actually took
months to make it. That was just a lie.
It's a good lie. It's a good lie.
And a great ad for meth.
Nicknamed seven cedars
because of the seven trees. The treehouse was decked out with a kitchen, plumbing, electricity,
heating, a stereo, pretty cool. And 30 windows. It's so funny a stereo so far down that list.
Like plumbing, stereo. Pretty sick. Also, many articles mentioned it had 30 windows, which I guess
that's pretty impressive. Anyway, three stories off the ground, a wooden walkway, which Scurlock called
his stairway to heaven, extended away from his...
street home, zigzag between the pines for about 300 feet. So he's just building shit,
adding onto it. I've got 10 windows in my apartment. That's where I went, missed everything you just
said. How many windows? How many windows? I got 10.
Come on, Matt. You should have been thinking about this.
Sorry.
This entire time. Do go on, Dave. Sorry about him. I've been thinking if maybe it comes up later,
I could say something like, what did I call Mel Ribson? Grisson. Mel Grisen. I don't think it'll be
work, but if it might come up later, I can say, I remove my own Mel
Ribson so that I could suck my own...
That's just something I was thinking about maybe if it comes up later.
It's an option.
I'll set you up.
Yeah.
How about that?
You can lob one up for me?
That'd be the lovely.
I really think that could fucking rip this joint apart.
It'll be a standing O for that one.
Before he became known as the Hollywood Bandit, he was nicknamed.
by his friends as Treehouse Scott.
Which I love, so good.
Slightly less badass than the Hollywood Bandit, but still, he's getting there.
How old is he at this point?
Mid-20s.
Yeah.
I feel like it promised a cooler guy when you said the Hollywood Bandit.
What do you mean?
Tree House, Scott, so cool.
That's true.
And he's hot.
And he has a great personality.
Yeah.
Yeah, and a meth addiction.
He's the whole package.
He's got his own place, he's got a job.
No wonder he's so slim.
County officials at once day's threatened to tear down the treehouse.
That's when he went to the lawyer that thought he was really hot.
And the county ended up backing down and they let him keep the structure.
She probably said he's really hot.
Let him have it.
So he's living there with his mates.
Live in the treehouse.
Live in the dream.
Friends later claimed they knew nothing of his drug.
fueled criminal lifestyle, thinking that he got by with the occasional carpentry job.
And I mean, why would you be suss? Back to the Seattle Times. During warmer months,
Scurlock would often be seen at the Buddy Bay Cafe, one of Olympia's trendy spots where he made
a vivid impression. Scurlock would typically order the night special, washed down with
expensive champagne, either Don Perignon or Cristal, about $125 a bottle. In one sitting,
Scurlock would run up a bill of $2 to $250 for two or three people,
and only $30 of that was for food, said owner of the cafe, Brett Hibbard.
So he is going out, and apparently he would give $100 tips every time he went out.
And his friends are like, he's just doing the occasional carpentry job.
Where's he getting all this money from?
Oh, well.
Also, he's on meth all the time.
Oh, well.
Despite the drug lab, Scott avoided any brushes with the law,
except for one mentioned in an article by the News Tribune.
It says,
Scurlock had nothing serious except some traffic violations.
And I was like, sure.
We've got a couple of speeding tickets,
maybe around a red light.
It continues.
An incident in which he was caught spinning his car's tires
on someone else's property.
So I'm just imagining George Bush on the Simpsons
doing donuts on the front of Thomas lawn.
President Bush is driving on our lawn.
He must be lost.
So with the money he made from selling drugs, Scott was able to buy the farm on which his beloved treehouse stood.
However, in 1990, his meth empire came to a grinding halt when his drug supplier was murdered.
It made Skirlock evaluate the dangers of his business.
He'd never thought about it before.
He was like, huh?
Murdered.
Hadn't thought about that.
And I know what you're thinking.
There's only a couple of jobs less dangerous than drug lord, and one of those is, of
course, bank robber.
He's like, I've got to get out of this risky business.
Scott loved life out in nature and became disillusioned by the money pouring into
nearby Seattle in the 1990s, which was starting to roll in cash from expanding tech companies.
Also, Seattle in the 90s, that's prime.
Dr. Frazier Crane.
I hear the music calling. I'm not doing the whole thing.
Why not?
Go on.
I'm shy
Go on
I'm shy
Keep going Dave
You're doing so great
So he's annoyed that there's money rolling
And billions were flowing into the city's economy
And Scott didn't like what his city was becoming
Full of these materialistic people
He was really anti that
He would rail against the system
By pulling down for sale signs in his area
That'll get him
Now they'll never know
Fuck yeah
Fight the power buddy
Materialistic people trying to get
a house to live in.
You pieces of shit.
Seattle's like in the 90s'
grunge period. It feels like
not very much like the thing you said.
Oh, you nailed that sentence.
Yes.
With the explosion of money
came a lot of new banks and with that
came bank robbers.
Seattle experienced... Oh shit. I never thought about that.
What's a bank robber without a bank?
Exactly. Unemployed.
You want to improve unemployment rates?
Yeah.
Put more banks in.
Seattle actually experienced hundreds of bank robberies in the 1990s.
It was going off.
It became the third most robbed city in America.
Top three.
Top three.
Top three.
And Scott became fascinated with the robberies.
And he thought as the banks were probably insured
and probably doing dodgy stuff for the customer's money anyway,
that they fully deserved it.
That was his justification.
Those people work in the tills at a bank.
Obviously, they're the owners of the bank.
So they deserve it.
That's good.
That's the theory.
Any bankers in tonight.
Really?
Can I have some money?
Hang on, is that an option?
Can I have some money?
Bankers always go quiet when you ask them that.
Tell them you'll pay them back.
They love that.
Oh yeah.
I'll pay you back.
I pay you back.
Okay.
Jordan, get him out.
We said no bankers.
So he lived off his drug savings for a year or two,
all the while dreaming of robbing a bank.
Drug savings is the money he's made from drugs,
or he's living off drugs that he's saved?
I think probably honestly both.
Bit both.
A bit of honestly.
Some articles say that he fantasised about being like a Robin Hood character
and reappropriating the money,
giving and taking...
Another famously green-tited person.
Yes.
Isn't that interesting?
Yeah.
That's true.
He was a fox.
Yeah.
In both senses of the word.
God, I wanted to fuck that fox.
I'm not alone.
Yeah.
You wanted to fuck that fox.
Wow.
Worst thing about being a fox is they've got long rib cages.
Oh yeah.
I also had a thought just before there.
Instead of robbery, if it was ribbery, that could be the act of stealing someone's rib
so that they could suck their own fox.
Thank you.
There's the standing O.
It only takes one, and that counts.
Technically a standing ovation.
Technically.
So he's had a couple of years to think about this.
I'm going to be a bank robber, and after a few beers around the fire one night,
Scott told his mate Mark Biggins about his plan of robbing him.
bank. Mark was a guitarist and a poet, so perfect for a heist. He was also an old college friend.
He happened to own some guns. Perfect. Mark was having financial trouble, and Scott suggested they
could easily hold up a bank out of town, and just two days later, on March 26, 1999, they were doing it.
Cool. What's that got to do with this robbery story, though?
All right. Now I've got to know each other a little bit better.
I trust you in any situation.
So a lot of planning and scoping out.
Yeah.
And if you're going to do a bank robbery,
you want to base it on the best, right?
Sure.
Mark was a big fan of the 1991 movie Point Break.
And just like in the films,
they decided to wear Ronald Reagan masks
to rob the boat.
No mention if they had a meatball sandwich.
No mention.
Meatball.
Give it two.
Great movie.
Great movie.
You're never going to believe this,
but the robbery planned in two days
and conducted in shitty presidential masks
didn't go so well.
The pair only got $15,000,
which is a lot less than that expected.
They stole someone in the bank's keys
to access a getaway car,
but when they got in,
Mark flooded the engine,
panicking, and it wouldn't start.
So they had to flee the scene on foot
and they only narrowly got away.
Okay.
Fifteen grand they got.
Fifteen grand.
Can I have fifteen grand?
You're the worst banker.
There's two ways she can get it from you,
and one of them is the nice way.
The other way involves her taking one of your ribs.
She works in mysterious ways.
Scott had also called out Mark's name in the bank.
Well, hang on.
Maybe the removing the rib is the nice way.
dinner for one. I'll move on from this.
So they were able to stop leaving fingerprints behind by wearing gloves and because no silent alarm
had been tripped there was no security cameras that filmed at the time to get the camera
rolling that had to hit a button. So no one filmed him. So they'd narrowly gotten away with it. Mark was
traumatised by the close call and swore off bank robbing for good. But Scott fucking loved it.
The adrenaline rush he got meant he was instantly hooked. Seven weeks went by.
and law enforcement had no leads.
But then Scott Scurlock struck the same bank again.
Good. Yes, they wouldn't expect you to do that.
That's clever.
This didn't go that well last time with two people.
I reckon it'll go better with one.
Yeah, I can carry more money.
So he went alone.
He was wearing a different disguise.
This time a wig, glasses, some makeup and a mustache.
But one of the employees recognized his demeanor.
Oh wow
He was so hot
Even under the mask
Like this guy's on
What he moves
What a sexy demeanour
I've only ever seen that demeanour once before
Hang on a second
He skipped everywhere
He was very specific
Do you think you'd recognise people by their demean
What does that mean
I think because he's what's called a
She got it
That's good stuff
Well I mean
Let's be honest everyone got it
You've been doing the fucking rib thing
I have a crack
I just have a go
crack a rib
yeah I crack a rib
that's the last of that
no promises
he's what's called a
take over or take charge robber
okay that's pretty sexy
yeah
you come in with a weapon and quickly take over the whole bank
get everyone to lie down
and then get one person to help you
fill the money's right what are the other types of bank robber
oh I'm panicky
yeah a flustered bank robber
Plus the bank robber.
Because of all this, the FBI, apparently,
they give all their unknown bank robbers' nicknames.
And they called him the take-charge robber,
which is shit.
Yeah, it's not good.
That's not good.
But most bank robbers are in and out within two to three minutes.
They want to be quick.
Mark, he's confident.
I mean, Scott, he's confident.
Mark is not confident.
Mark is shitting himself.
Mark is cleaning shit off the driver's seat.
But Scott confidently spent four to five minutes inside really.
Taking charge.
And taking it in, you know, feeling the light on his face.
Getting to know people.
Doing crowd work.
Giving out his phone number.
What do you do?
I've just realized that the guy noticing his demeanour, that doesn't help them.
Who was in disguise both times, that doesn't mean anything, right?
Yeah, but then you could just like go around town watching people's demeanors.
Oh, that's true.
Get a vibe.
For his second robbery here, only got $8,000.
He's not doing well, is he?
No, but...
I don't know what kind of money you two are involved in,
but eight grand for half an hour's work
sounds fucking awesome.
That's why you'll never be a big cat like us.
A couple of panthers over here.
Your tiny little kitten.
Go play with your little ball of yard, kitten.
We're rolling in cash.
Jeff doesn't get out of bed for what
30, 40 million?
Million.
How much am I getting paid for this?
30, 40 million?
Great.
How the fucking do you think we got you out of bed?
So he only got $8,000, but he was only warming up.
Scott started doing research to perfect his craft,
ordering criminal manuals by the mail.
Stuff like...
Bank robbery 101?
It was a great sentence, but beautifully delivered.
Your eyes just lit up the room.
These are some of the titles on his shelf.
How to Change Your Identity.
How to Stay Off Government Lists.
FBI Forensics.
For dummies.
He also started to teach himself the art of disguise.
He got books on masks and movie makeup
and learnt to drastically change his appearance
with fake noses, latex chins, party on his face, fake mustaches and lots and lots of wigs.
He basically laundered the makeup by getting it mailed to unwitting friends who then gave it to him,
making it harder to trace.
Right.
I don't know what stories he was telling them.
I'm setting a box of wigs to your house.
Nothing weird.
Nothing weird.
Different types of sunglasses were almost always part of each new look.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
because no two people can wear the same sunglasses.
So that makes sense.
What do you mean?
I've never worn rebands before in my life.
Over the next three months, Skirlock robbed four more banks.
He always looked different, but the similarities were there.
The demeanour.
The demeanour, that classic demeanour.
Each time the banks were struck by a man wearing theatre makeup,
because I've got to say, he looks different, but he does not look good.
He does not look good.
Each time he's wearing
theatre makeup, a hat,
dark sunglasses.
His fourth hit, really hit the big time.
It brought in a cool,
quarter of a million dollars.
Oh, happy with that?
Yeah, I was happy with eight.
What are you looking at me?
I'm stoked with that.
Fantastic.
I don't even know what I mean.
What's a quarter of a mill?
What is that, like $10 million?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bloody out, that's a lot of money.
It is, isn't it?
Yeah.
Why is this guy called
We're in Seattle
When does Hollywood get involved?
About two sentences at time
Comedy is all about timing
And I got it
He laundered the money through
Las Vegas casinos
By a childhood friend called Stephen Paul Myers
We'll get back to him later
But because of his increasingly elaborate makeup
A lot of which was designed for TV and film
The FBI started to nickname him
Hollywood.
Okay.
That's much cooler than the
tech charge robber.
He's now just Hollywood.
The fact that the guy
just mentioned out the three-barreled name
as well, that means American criminal.
Right?
Criminal, he's probably a murderer.
Yeah, John Paul Young.
John Paul Young.
Singer of lovers in the air.
Yes.
He is.
Yeah.
Famous.
He's right.
He's right.
He's right.
He's right.
He's right.
He's right.
That's fantastic.
I was already thinking before I'm like, I can't wait to the show end so I can compliment Jess on her panther riff.
But that's just been bumped from number one spot.
But John Paul Young, they hated it.
None of them liked it.
I love our post-show debriefs where you just compliment me.
I've made a minute of list, Jess.
Do you want to hear it now or later?
At bedtime, please.
I'm having a great time.
Is it because you got beers and popcorn?
Hey, are you having a good time, Dave?
Great, I'm looking at that popcorn thinking, God, I love some of that.
But I've got a report.
Okay, no, hang on.
Because remember when Jordan asked us if we want drinks or anything to be on here for while we do the pod,
and you said, can I have a chalk top?
And I said, Dave, I don't think you're going to be able to eat a chalk top and read a report.
And you said, no, I reckon I can't.
You just had two pieces of popcorn, and you need 10 minutes to just debrief.
Yeah.
We're going to need a half-time break here.
Just so you know, I had the chocktop before the show, so don't cry for me.
You're sweating a bit as well there, Dave.
Is there popcorn too spicy?
What do they put in this?
So he's nicknamed Hollywood by the FBI.
But he was also widely reported on the media too, and they didn't think Hollywood was long enough.
So many started to write about the Hollywood Bandit.
So he's becoming front page news across the northwest.
So we're still in Seattle.
Yeah.
In Australia, Hollywood would be too long.
We'd call him Woody or something.
Oh no, Woody struck again.
That's badass.
Woody.
Are you having that to the list?
Put it in the list.
I'll wait for better.
So he's the Hollywood bandit now.
He'd come a long way since Treehouse Chris.
Scott.
That's great about that.
I even double-checked it before and I was like,
yeah, that's his fucking name.
That'll do.
Thank you.
You wrote this.
Yeah, look, I've written,
he's come a long way since Three House Chris.
Who's Tree House Chris?
We'll get to him later.
Yeah, no worry.
That's part two.
Okay.
Do we all know who I'm talking about?
Because I don't.
Scott, Hollywood, Hollywood bandit, treehouse Chris.
They're all one guy.
They're all one guy.
Okay, so he struck a few times, but for over a year, he lay low,
and the FBI started to wonder if he'd given up for good or moved away from the area.
But then, on November 24, 1993, he struck again.
He'd been underground for a year, but had spent the $322,000 he'd robbed and needed more cash.
He went straight back to the source
hitting the same bank that had paid up
over 250 grand a year earlier.
He again enlisted
the help of Stephen Paul Myers
who got a promotion for a money launderer
this time to getaway car driver.
You enjoying this?
I don't think it was John Paul.
I guess we're just remembering one of her jokes
from before.
You could tell.
Her face lit up.
She's like, remember that funny thing I said?
No one out there laughed, but I enjoyed it.
John Paul Young.
Am I right?
Yeah.
I was thinking of John
Paul Young.
What are we doing?
It's not comedy.
We're losing them, I'll tell you that much.
All right.
Brandishing his trademark Glock.
Scurlock hit the bank
whilst Myers stayed outside
scanning police radio frequencies.
Skirlock got away with another 100 grand,
threatening to kill anyone who hit an alarm.
No one did.
He buried most of the money on his property
and only gave his accomplice Myers
$5,000.
That was the typical amount he paid for help. Apparently, it kept them hungry for more.
Kept them hungry, yeah.
You don't look hungry over there.
I just thought it was, I thought, no, keep it up, because you're just sitting there like this otherwise.
Are you going to edit out all this popcorn related stuff, Dave?
Because it'll be baffling for those at home.
Well, for those at home, I'm eating popcorn.
No, I think they're pretty much caught up now.
I skill like felt he deserved the money because he was doing most of the work and taking most of the risks.
Hollywood always did his homework.
I love it.
He scoped out his targets for several days before, making notes of comings and goings.
He mostly struck on Wednesdays and Thursdays around noon after cash deliveries when he knew the bank would be stocked.
And he favoured bad weather as he believed it made police response time slower.
Like, cops are like, uh.
Yeah, we got a bank robbery.
I just did my hair.
Man down, man down.
Where's the brolly?
Where did I put it?
And he knew how to get pumped up for a robbery.
According to CBS, before a robbery,
he would enter his barn and blast Kenny Loggins' danger zone
as he slowly changed his appearance.
Putting on the fake chin.
Fuck yes.
Mustache.
Yeah, that's good.
Straight to the danger zone.
After the robberies, he would remove the makeup with alcohol spray in seconds, and then even needed to, he could wait in a local cafe completely unrecognisable as he waited for the heat to die down.
And get a skinny flat white too.
Enjoy himself.
Yeah, beautiful.
Probably paying cash.
Get some brunch.
Skelok and Myers robbed five banks in 1994, three in Seattle, and two in Portland, stealing a total of 263 grand.
By the spring of 1995, Skerlok had robbed 12 banks of nearly a million dollars.
He'd been terrorising the city's banks for three years.
Only once that he failed as a die bomb hidden in one of the notes went off as he exited the bank.
Someone also noted down the licence plate of the getaway car
and the FBI founded it recently been sold by an elderly couple to a man
who bought it for cash without even taking a test drive.
They described the man and a sketch artist drew him.
Oh, he's the hottest man I've ever seen.
And they're looking at it going, no, hotter.
Hot.
Mel Gryphson hot.
I swear to God.
If I was 60 years younger.
Yeah, his face was painted blue and he had a cross in the middle of it.
I think he was wearing a kilt.
And he said he may not take the cash, but he would take the freedom,
which was the make and model of the car.
They were standing O, or sitting o this time.
I don't like to lie.
That was a sitting-o.
That's less common.
It's much less common, oh.
You never read about a sitting-o.
No, never hear about that.
That's big.
That's big.
So the FBI, they had a sketch of what they hoped the man looked like.
I've seen the sketch, not hot enough.
Absolutely not hot enough.
Banks were embarrassed that he'd robbed them.
He even hit most, a lot of them twice,
and the fact that he got away again, they were really embarrassed.
Was it a point where they were like, no, no, no, we didn't get robbed?
No, no, no, just a stock-take issue.
Just don't, as Sharon lost the money.
We didn't get robbed again.
Sharon, you're fired.
The Puget Sound Violent Crimes Task Force,
group composed of FBI agents and Seattle Police Detectives,
made stopping Hollywood their top priority.
A $50,000 reward was put out by the Banking Association,
and law enforcement had 45 people working full-time on his case.
But they had no idea who he was,
and even though he hadn't yet fired his weapon
they thought that if cornered, he wouldn't
hesitate to fire. They worried it was
only a matter of time before
someone was seriously injured or killed.
They reasoned that if they
were to stop Hollywood, they would
need to predict where he was going to strike next
and be ready.
By cross-referencing the robberies and breaks
in between, they reasoned that Hollywood
struck when he needed money and that he was
spending on average about $20,000 a month.
Oh, easy.
Easy.
What are you getting?
Yacht.
New one every month.
I also get really seasick, so I'm just going to put it in the backyard.
You also get really shit yachts.
Yeah.
It's 20 grand.
Is that a bad yacht?
Oh no, let's ask the banker.
Can I have a yacht?
Okay.
Finally.
It's got to know the right question so I'll see you guys.
We are in Sydney as well.
Like, everyone's rich up here.
They're all thinking like, 20 grand, yachts.
all got multiples.
Yeah.
You richy rich.
Probably got Macas in your house too.
Best bit of that movie.
You guys got Mackeys in your house?
Someone said, yeah, but it's two weeks old.
And I didn't get it.
But I loved it.
I did love it, though.
I loved it, though.
It's got Macca's in the house.
Macas in the house.
Two week old Macas in the house.
Two week old Macas.
Yeah.
Not like a shop from.
That is good stuff.
It's my community service, helping the elderly.
I'm putting it on the list.
But that's the first time I'm going to tell you about an audience member's joke.
Remember when that person said,
yeah, I've got Maccas in the house.
But it's two weeks off.
If somehow I could relive that moment, I would have laughed earlier.
I'm like, when it was built two weeks ago,
and in Sydney you're so fancy that that's not worth talking about?
Surely I knew McDonald's would be a good thing.
Probably got one of those little kiosks where you just don't.
even have to talk to the one person who work. Let's move on from this. Dave, do go on.
Basically, they worked out when they thought he did money again, and the task force,
waiting near the banks in the neighbourhood seemed that he seemed to favour robbing. So they just
had cops stationed around near the banks. In uniform or they're undercover cops. Yeah, they probably
should have thought about that. Yeah, I feel like if I was about to go rob a bank and there were
some cops out the front, I'd be like, oh, maybe tomorrow. Yeah, I'll come back. I'll go to different
bank.
No, that's the perfect time to strike
They'll never expect it
Use your head, Jess
Hollywood struck twice in 1996
In January and May
pulling in another quarter of a million dollars
For these robberies, he's expanded to a
Three Man operation with Myers
And also, Mark Biggins was back
The guy that four years earlier
Had shot himself and flooded the car
On the first robbery
Hang on.
Earlier when he said he flooded the car,
I thought you'd miss it.
like with petrol.
But you're talking...
He filled a car with shit.
He's like, I can't stop it.
Yeah, been there, buddy.
They had to wind a window down.
Needless to say, Mark wasn't allowed to drive this time.
A very different moment.
You remember that famous Titanic scene?
Very good reference.
We're in a cinema where they do the fingers down the window.
Oh, no.
Don't think about that in this case.
I certainly won't
This time Mark was allowed to go into the bank
As crowd control
With Scott Scurlock
So the two people go into the bank
You got his name right, well done
Thank you
You might know him as Treehouse Chris
I mean
It would have been smart for him to have an alias
I've just given him one
In November 1996
Scott planned to take things to the next level
And Rob not one, not two
But three banks in a single day
No one would be suspecting that
just like you said Matt.
But, however,
learning that all the banks in Seattle
had been convinced by police
to put electronic traces
inside all of their bound money,
he was deterred and ended up only hitting one bank.
Oh, coward.
He just absolutely worsted out.
But that day was Wednesday, November 27, 1996,
the day before Thanksgiving,
it was going to be a big job.
Because of the holiday,
the bank was thought to have
three or four million dollars inside.
Scurlock and Myers entered
the Seafurst Bank in Lake City at 541pm
and the most wild thing for me here is in America
their banks are still open at 541pm
ours close to like 901am
you will not let us get our own money
what's with that
anything anything to say for yourself young man
soon as Skirlock and Myers entered
one of the banking employees
who'd been briefed about looking out for men
wearing weird looking theatre makeup
That is hurtful for the travelling circus troupe in town.
That's right.
Any clown, they're just like, panic button, panic button.
They're just like, this is my face.
The employee secretly hit a hidden panic button.
I've lost my spot here, padding.
And we're back.
Hit the panic button and then seconds before they were told,
everyone on the ground, they only just got in.
Whilst Myers held the people on the floor,
gunpoint, Skirlock raided the vault with the headteller and stuffed a bag full of money.
Four minutes later, Skirlock and Myers calmly walked out the front door.
However, one of the customers inside ignored their demands to stay on the floor and quietly followed
them and then rang 911 with a description of their blue Dodge Caravan Getaway God.
Dodge Caravan.
I didn't realize they're in a fucking caravan.
How did you not realize that?
You wrote all these things down.
Yeah, but I just didn't think about the fact that I was like, yeah, it's just called a caravan.
It's a caravan.
That's the worst getaway car of all time.
Heaps of storage for cash, though.
Yeah, you're right.
Exactly.
You can have a little sleep halfway through.
Love that.
Halfway through what?
The getaway.
Sorry, it was a silly question.
So, and the person who called Nantabund also described what direction they were driving in.
The area they'd robbed was actually completely new,
and all the officers stationed to capture the bandits,
were in other suburbs, so no one was there to immediately intercept them.
Skirlock, who had remembered preferred to rob in bad weather,
had the tactic backfire on him when torrential rain and huge wind gusts,
coupled with the Thanksgiving holiday, meant traffic on the freeway was gridlocked.
The getaway driver made a wrong turn when leaving the bank
and drove straight into a traffic jam.
So they were really slow to leave the area.
They changed vans and got into a white Chevrolet Astra van.
by this time the neighbourhood was crawling with FBI
and police patrol cars were everywhere.
Some FBI agents saw the white van,
decided to tail it, and acting on instinct,
put their siren on to pull it over.
But the van didn't pull over.
Instead, it slowly continued to drive
before suddenly coming to a stop.
Skirlock jumped out of the van with a shotgun
and aimed it at the task force agents who were sitting ducks.
But fortunately for them,
the gun jammed and failed to fire.
So they didn't even have a crack at just pretending they were completely,
oh, hello officer.
Oh, hi, no, he's just like, hello, and then it didn't fire.
The officers, you know, when they didn't get shot at,
fired several shots into the back of the van,
which Scurlock got back into,
and it continued to drive slowly down the street.
It's a very slow getaway.
Honestly, I don't want to sound like I don't always believe the police,
but I want to see the footage.
I want to see this footage of
Treehouse Chris shooting first, because I...
Oh no, he took a shot of us first, his gun just jammed.
That's the only reason we don't have any shots on us,
and then we riddled them with bullets.
You know what I mean?
I don't mean to be skeptical, but let's be honest.
A few minutes later, the van again stopped,
and Myers this time got out of the side door
with a shotgun and successfully fired it at the officers.
The officers again returned fire,
and again the van slowly drove away.
The back window of the van was then smashed out from the inside
and one of the occupants began firing an assault rifle
in an attempt to deter the officers who were still slowly tailing them.
Finally, the van came to its final stop
when it slowly drove into the side of a house.
But this time, no one got out.
The perfect crime.
The officers.
stormed the van and inside they found
Biggins and Myers, who had both
been seriously wounded with multiple gunshot wounds.
Myers was dragged from the van and an FBI agent
are you Hollywood? Are you Hollywood?
Which is such a weird sentence.
He said, no.
The officer searched the van and found two
12-gauge shotguns, a US military
semi-automatic rifle, two-automatic pistols,
three two-way radios, a police frequency scanner,
a guitar case converted into a gun case,
which is pretty badass.
That is a badass.
And more than a million dollars in cash.
But they didn't find...
Somebody just woo for a million dollars in cash?
There was a gun case.
Million dollars cash.
Well, actually, if you check under your seats.
One of you.
And they searched the van.
They found all that stuff, but they didn't find a certain Mr. Hollywood.
or his Glock pistol.
He had somehow eluded police and escaped on foot, despite the van traveling so slowly
and the officers being right there.
He'd gotten away.
Wow.
Begins and Myers were taken to the hospital to be treated for their injuries.
During questioning, Myers told FBI agent Sean Johnson that, which that's the best FBI
agent name, Sean Johnson, love that, that Scott Scurlock...
That's the best FBI name.
You can see that in a movie.
Come on.
I can picture the name Sean Johnson.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, take a moment though, Jess, and really picture it.
It's going to take a while.
It'll take a little bit of brain space.
Sean Johnson.
Wow.
That's a name you can set your watch to.
That is...
That's a good name.
Real cool name.
That's Sean Johnson.
Thank you.
There is a Sean Johnson here going, oh no, I thought it was cool.
I thought it was cool.
No, they told the FBI agent.
from the hospital that Scott Scurlock was the mastermind behind the heist.
Oh, they just immediately threw him under the fan.
And then he lived in Olympia, they gave his address.
They absolutely gnarled on him.
Great.
A couple of snitches.
The FBI stormed Scott's house, barn and tree house.
They're probably like, what the fuck?
They found evidence of his crimes, including a secret room under the floorboards
where he applied his makeup.
I think he called that the danger zone.
So they knew who he was, but not where he'd gone and if he was injured.
Helicopters and police dogs were called in for a search.
A six-block perimeter was set up, and locals were warned to look out for anything suspicious.
Officers searched all night, but no sign was found.
The next day was Thanksgiving and two blocks from the scene of the van.
85-year-old Wilma C. Walker.
Is that a better name?
Wilma Walker.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a better name.
Thank you.
Sean
Sorry
Wilma
Sean Johnson be a better
porn star name
for someone with a bald dick
That's going on the list
Wilma Walker
She's 85
She's hosting Thanksgiving lunch
Having a great time
She asked her sons
To have a look around her property
Especially the camper van in her backyard
Because she thought the officers
That had searched her backyard
Had failed to go in there
Oh
She's like just have a look
That would feel like a fairly obvious place to check
They were like, oh, he's not on the lawn, all good.
Hang on, hang on.
I haven't looked up that tree.
Yeah.
No, we're good.
Clear it.
The brothers went out and, lo and behold, the camper was weirdly locked from the inside.
Wilma's son, Ronald ran in, yelling, I saw him, I saw him.
He has black curly hair.
He's super hot.
Honestly, Mum, I want to fuck that guy.
Mom, I need you to leave.
Mom, go for a Wilma Walker, would you?
Your approval means everything to me.
Honestly, if my mic's not working, that's fun.
I'm just enjoying the show.
So they called the police who turned up and surrounded the camper.
After receiving no reply when they yelled out to the curly head man inside,
the officers pumped two cans of capsiccan spray into it.
They heard a single shot fired inside,
and the officers started firing into the camper.
They're very trigger-happy.
They hit it 30.
30 times.
But they don't even know for sure that it's him in there.
There's a man with curly hair in there.
What if it's like a kid who's stuck in there or something?
Sorry, I shouldn't have said kid,
but also like maybe the cop shouldn't be so trigger-happy, you know what I mean?
They then waited hours before finally tear-gassing the camper
twice and then storming it.
So they've already, they've caps and sprayed 30 bullets wait a while.
And then they're like, what's next to grenade?
What do we do?
Bazooka.
Bazook, yeah.
I feel,
it's Thanksgiving.
I've had too much turkey.
Oh my gosh, so full.
I'm so full.
I'm not thinking.
Get the bazooka.
So they finally stormed it,
only to find,
I'm sorry to say,
the body of Scott Scurlock inside,
who'd ended his life.
Is he alive or dead?
The body of Scott Scurlock.
He was still alive and doing well.
It's actually a beautiful body.
And um, full of life.
Dave, you should, because when you said body,
made it sound like he might be dead.
Yeah.
So you gotta be careful with the words.
Which after like 30 bullets is impossible.
This is, um, this is a sad bit.
He, he, uh, had taken his own life.
That was the bullet that they first heard.
Well, there was also 30 more.
And then also, uh, apparently he'd been shot six more times.
So, but, um, but they're very keen to point out that we didn't kill him.
We just shot his body.
I'm going to want to see the tape again.
One of the most successful bank robbers in US history had finally stopped.
All up, he had robbed 18 banks over four and a half years and stolen $2.3 million.
I mean, there's a big numbers, but 2.3, 18 banks?
Eh.
Is it?
Was it worth it?
Probably not.
I think it's inflation and stuff involved here.
It's probably worth quite a lot more money.
than that.
What were we talking?
Well, that could be, how many was it in 1996?
2.3.
Could be 2.5, 2.6 by now.
Holy shit.
There's no way of finding out.
Are you serious?
There's no calculators powerful enough yet.
A little post script about Wilma C. Walker.
Yep.
The 85-year-old Thanksgiving host
who'd send her sons out to check the camper
applied for the $50,000 reward
that had been put out on the Hollywood Bandit by the banks.
But the bank said the walkers didn't qualify for the reward.
You dogs, you fucking dogs.
85-year-old woman.
You're like, no.
How do you look at yourself in the mirror?
No, that money was for people who found where he was.
And you found where he was.
This is how they tried to get out of it.
C-first indicated, that's the bank,
indicated that the walkers wouldn't get any reward money
because when they called 911,
they hadn't identified the man in their mother's backyard as the robber.
It's like when you call a radio station or something and you don't say the secret code word.
I wake up with today and there's a bank robber in my van.
So they hadn't said that exact phrase.
They just said it could be the guy or something out.
And they were like, check the tape.
You didn't say the secret word.
Oh, now they're showing the tape.
All the other ones go missing somehow.
However, after a deluge of negative publicity from the...
the media, coupled with thousands
of telephone calls from angry citizens,
the banks relented and agreed to pay the
full $50,000. Good.
Wilma died the next
day.
As for Hollywood's accomplices,
they pleaded guilty and both
were sentenced to 21 years and three months
in federal prison. Oh, just make it
21 years. Just make it 20 years.
Sorry.
21 years, three months?
Sorry.
Oh.
Stephen Paul Myers was released in 2013.
as living in Louisiana.
While Steve Biggins was released in 2015,
and was said to be living in Olympia, Washington.
So they served 17 and 19 years each.
I hate that.
Really should have ended on the prize money
because that is the story of the Hollywood Banders.
Give it up for Dave Warnocky, everybody.
Thanks, everyone.
Well done.
Well done, Dave.
I loved that story about Treehouse, Chris.
What a guy.
I thought that was great.
Who was your favorite character?
Oh, John Paul Young.
I liked Sean Johnson.
Give me nothing, Sean.
Come on.
I also liked our banker friends.
Sorry for that.
Let's give it up for our bank of friend.
Boot at home, Dave.
Hey, so this is our first show in Sydney in over three years.
We're absolutely stoked that you can come out and support the show.
Come see us do this podcast.
Thank you so much.
Give it up for yourselves.
Yeah, why not?
Hey, thank you so much for coming out.
We'll see you next time.
Goodbye!
Well, that brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show.
Bloody hell, what a great live experience we just had in Sydney.
We are now back in the room.
Sin City.
Is that what they call it up here?
I think I got Sydney.
Oh, okay.
Very close, though.
We should say we are recording this.
We're in Sydney, but we haven't done the live show yet.
We're very excited to do it.
So I don't know if it went well.
I was lying then.
Oh, no.
I know it went well.
He was acting, which is lying.
Actors are all lies.
Professional liars, charlatans.
And get out of my sight.
That's what I said last time I saw Hugh Jackman.
Wow.
You're a dog of a boy.
You charlatan.
You're a liar.
You get out of my face.
Get out of my house.
Was he just on your TV?
Yeah.
Get out of my house.
Hugh Jackman, you liar.
I threw the TV at the front door.
You get out.
Lucky I had an extension cord so I could see his face shatter
As he hit the bitumen
I'll show him
Our Hugh
Cop that Hugh
You dog
Like Hugh jackass
Yeah that's great
Yeah that's great
I wish you were there
I wish you were there to say it right to his face on the screen
He would not have known what to do
So anyway
Jess and I in particular have not had a lot of sleep
But we're having a good time
Exactly we think
We've found giant Skittles
We're having a great time
So this is the part of the show
Where we thank some of our great supporters
Some of who have been supporting us for years
And without them
This show would not be possible
So we're going to read out a few names
But this section is really to thank everyone
Who is supporting us
At patreon.com slash do-goon pod
or do go on pod.com.
Of course, it is everyone's favorite section of the show.
A lot of people do skip the report and just listen to this.
And I don't blame them.
We've got to start putting the show notes,
the time codes for when this starts.
We're going to have to listen to the rest of that.
Crap.
And there's all sorts of things you can get if you support us.
Bob, what's a quick list?
Quick list.
What's your top five?
Three bonus episodes.
That's one, two, and three.
Yep.
You get access to a Facebook group.
Four.
You can vote on top of the top of five.
corner of the internet and the voting on topics very important like dave's report you just heard
was voted on by our great supporters that's right i put three up they chose that one and i think
they did a good job yeah because when you you were saying to me earlier that you thought one of the
other ones was maybe better until they picked that and then you're like no they were right
actually yeah it's almost like they they just seem to know the i trust the patrons yeah i'm so
curious to know what the one you thought was the best one and what the one that ends up being the one we
do very excited and
Anyway, another reward or whatnot that you can get, if you support us,
on the Sydney-Shaunberg level, you get to give us a factor quote or a question.
And you also get to give us a suggestion or a recipe or anything, really, a brag, whatever you like.
You can use it in any way, which way?
It could be an insult.
Yeah.
That would be odd.
It would be a little odd.
But it could technically do it.
Yeah.
I mean, it could be a proposal.
No.
Like, I mean, it could be.
But the answer is what Jess just said.
No.
No, that's a no for me.
Unless you're proposing to transfer $1 million into my bank account.
That's an indecent proposal, Jess.
What are they expecting for that kind of mula?
Nothing.
Oh, fantastic.
Well, I'm offering nothing.
That's a very decent proposal.
I want to say they could do anything.
Yeah, I'd do anything.
Whatever they want.
If someone transfers a million dollars in my account, I'll do whatever you want.
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, as long as it's pretty much legal.
You know what I mean?
If it's one of those things that's maybe not fully legal...
Like, would you kill someone?
No, that's definitely illegal.
You know what I mean?
I do things in the grey zone.
Okay.
And in the legal zone.
Yeah.
What colour is that?
Legal zone?
That is magenta.
Obviously, the illegal zone is fuchsia.
Highway to the grey zone.
What's in the grey zone?
Grey zone?
I mean, they're things like...
Doing 2K over the speed limit.
2K of the speed limit for like 13 seconds.
Slapping someone on the back really hard,
pretending that you're saying good job,
but you're hitting it's a little bit harder.
You know what I mean?
So it's like, and they're like, oh, that felt hard,
but they're confused because...
Your tone and your faces.
Yeah, saying, great job.
Great job.
I love you.
Smack.
I haven't thought about that before, but that could be the perfect crime.
As long as you're yelling, I love you while everything's legal.
In the grey zone.
In the grey zone.
Which is what I think of as love.
It's beautiful in there in the grey zone.
It's the colour of love grey.
Everything, when I'm with her, everything is grey.
Everything goes grey.
So we've got four people who have given.
us a fact quote question, etc.
This week.
I don't read them until I read them and here we go.
The first one comes from Nathan Damon,
aka the silver fox
bracket,
well,
more silver than fox.
Love a bit of self depro
there from Nathan.
And Nathan is giving us a suggestion,
which reads,
Matt,
exclamation mark,
you have my permission to read this
before you read it.
Well,
I can't do that because I don't do it.
I'd have to read it before to get the permission.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's a director's note, I need you to sell this.
Draw on your air conditioning salesman training and have a little fun with it.
Okay.
This is going to be a little play.
Okay.
So I think all of that I wasn't meant to read out loud.
Okay.
Well.
Okay, guys, lean in.
I have an idea.
I have three words for you.
Hall of fame.
Okay.
I'm leaning.
Hey, Matt.
I'm interested in what you're saying right now.
You're really selling this to me.
A section of the DoGo Honors that celebrates and immortalizes the all-time classic episodes of the pod.
Kind of a lifetime achievement award, if you will.
I'm talking Turkmen Bashie, Back to the Future, and of course, Shackleton, to name a few.
They each would receive a plaque on the wall of the Triptage Club that would naturally be a conversation starter for members.
Now to seal the deal.
That's in brackets.
I'd pretend I didn't say that out loud.
It could be called, wait for it, the golden bettys,
named in honour of our patron Saint Betty White.
So, what do you think?
What's called the golden Betty there, Matt?
The Golden Betty, that's the Hall of Fame.
It's like he wasn't even listening.
So sorry, Nathan.
So it's a plaque on the wall of the Trip Ditch Club.
Yeah, which is theatre of the mind, you know.
And it's like some of our best episodes.
Yeah, maybe one gets inducted each week.
I don't know who selects them.
What about if just every week we inducted that week's?
That week's episode.
So we just have 360.
Yeah, I guess we can't induct one every week.
Otherwise, it's just every episode.
Yeah.
So maybe it needs to be monthly.
The only thing that I've got against it is I love them all.
They're like my children.
Oh, you've got 361 children.
Yeah, that's right.
It's subjective.
Do they know what's causing it?
Yeah.
How could we possibly say,
you know, an episode that we didn't enjoy was bad,
when that could be somebody's favorite episode.
That's true.
Somebody could have named their child after that episode.
They love it that much.
Turpin bashy.
But I don't think we're saying any episodes are bad.
This is only putting up the...
But I want to do a hall of shame as well.
Okay.
You're arguing for and against the Hall of Shame at once.
That's right, because I think you can't have a Hall of Fame without a Hall of Shame.
That's right.
Because there's no Hall of Fame out there without a Hall of Shame.
The Ruckerall Hall of Shame.
We've all heard of it.
We love it.
Gary Glitters in there.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah, there's some really bad people in there.
And some have also made it to the Hall of Fame.
Yes, there's some in both, I'm sure.
Probably quite a lot.
Yes.
I like the idea, Nathan.
I think next time it swings around and maybe just end up on your next convenience,
but maybe I'd love to hear your suggestion.
You might have to recap this because we'll almost definitely have forgotten this suggestion
by then, but also
suggest how do we select these episodes
and what are your thoughts
on the Hall of Shame?
I will say, it did sound like he was saying
it could be part of the Doogon Awards.
Oh, the Razies.
Every year, what do we call it?
The Doe Go on the Golden Shoney Garris.
Which is a, basically
we get the Patreon people to vote for their favourite episodes
of the year.
Oh, great point.
Each year we could induct a couple.
Yeah, that's a very good, but I like that.
No, I think I'm with you, Nathan.
I reckon that's a beautiful idea.
I think that's fun.
I don't know who's hosting the Golden Shiny Garys this year.
I'm not sure either.
They do go honours.
But we'll find out.
Thanks for that suggestion, Nathan,
and you might have to remind us a little later in the year.
The next one comes to Roy Phillips,
aka man trying to cram a clam into a clean cream can.
That was exhilarating.
I was gripping on for dear laugh.
You nailed it.
I was sweating.
The world slowed down and sped up.
Oh, Roy, you devil.
But you got there.
The roller coaster was...
That was a perfect dismount.
That was thrilling.
Oh, man, I felt like I was on a bucking bronco.
Oh, like, every word, it was kicking.
Dave's on his phone.
He's just waiting it out.
When Matt cracked, it is probably the funniest thing on this earth.
You may as well have pulled out a newspaper, Dave.
He was like, all right.
This might take a while.
I'm glad I brought a book.
Roy Phillips, good luck topping your question from your title there.
Which was?
That was just the title.
That was his title.
I could tease around it down my face.
All right.
Oh, it looks okay.
So this is Roy's...
I bet he has a really serious, sad question.
My dog is unwell.
So Roy's question.
is oh Dave he writes i've just seen and met Dave live in london for the book cheat live shows
books forever powerful handshake from Dave too yeah Dave I give her I didn't give anyone a dead fish
that's for sure yeah on the topic of books if you could erase the memory and reread one book
for the first time again which book would you choose it's a good question it's a good question
Do you want to hear Roy's answer?
Yeah.
Yes.
For Roy, he would pick the murder on the Orient Express, full of twists and turns and a great story.
But now that I know them, I don't feel I can reread the book.
I think I would want to reread the Hunger Game series.
Oh, cool.
Because they're real page turners.
So yeah, that's what I would go for.
I had a couple of others in mind and then realized I hadn't read them in such a long time that I've forgotten it all anyway.
So now's the right time to go back and read it.
You've almost got that skill in build.
God, I'm good.
Yeah, I'd read The Hunger Games again.
Right, I think I would probably say of mice and men.
Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
Because I know, I don't want to give way anything,
but the ending, I would be thinking about that the whole time,
and it would be too hard to read the rest.
I think I've forgotten the ending.
I think I can read with Mice and Men again.
Fantastic.
We'll just watch the film.
Beautifully written.
It's a Megadeth song, right?
I don't think I know that book.
There is a band called a VIII.
Myciman too.
Oh, I'm thinking of the band of Weiss and Man, am I?
No, you're right.
Oh, that's John Steinbeck.
I'll probably listen to that bookchete episode, let's say.
Who'd you have on that week?
Maybe, was it, Gerald and Laura Dunhamen in early one?
Yeah, great.
And it was about the two men?
It is about two men.
Yes.
Awesome.
Yeah, I don't know for me, because I don't, no, there is enough of Misen Men song
why Megadeth is all.
Anyway, I, um, yeah, I don't know.
I think that's a good example, murder on the Orin Express.
Any sort of, something that relies on the twist.
Yeah.
Something that makes you sort of go like, oh, you know, then that's really fun to read.
Sometimes I think stuff like that, especially if you're watching it, if it's got such a twist that, like, you go, whoa, I didn't see that coming.
If you rewatch it, you're like, oh, there's a little hint there, a little hint there, okay.
And you enjoy that?
You enjoy picking up little crumbs?
Yeah, going, I miss that.
I missed that.
But that's good.
Yeah, that's really good.
They were dangling in front of my face and laughing at me.
Dave, I'm so keen.
We haven't done the live shows yet, but we have been to the venue here in Sydney, the Ritz.
It's like a, it's a beautiful old art deco cinema.
And it's just been redone.
How good would it be to watch a Poirot film there?
But would you want the Kenneth Brunner, the new ones?
Oh, that's the, we get the sushi up there.
I think we get a sushi one.
I would love that too.
Yeah.
Because they are, a lot of the later series,
movie.
Yeah, we get a movie length soosh.
Death on the Nile.
Fantastic one.
Yeah.
And we all dress up
an appropriate clothing.
That would be the best.
In inappropriate clothing?
Inappropriate clothing.
Fantastic.
So Dave can leave his pants off.
Yeah.
Luckily they don't have cream seats.
I can't remember what color the seats were, but yeah.
I don't think they were cream.
Yeah.
So I'm not sure.
I don't know if I really have an answer because
I think I often forget the books as well.
I can't think of the book that
Where's Wally 2 was pretty good.
Yeah, the twist in that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What about your old mate, Bill Bryson?
Bill Bryson, I think you can reread those because they're sort of more factoid and stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, there's a bonus question.
When are all three of you coming back to the UK Europe?
Obviously, Roy got to shake your hand.
He would have asked me as well.
A lot of people asked me on that day.
When are the others coming back?
I mean, and, you know, I appreciate your ability to forget the pen.
pandemic. Okay. It's not our fault. It's been a while. Yeah, okay. But yeah, we, I think we're hope,
I mean, one of our main plans for the three of us next big thing is probably going to be the US is what we're
hoping. Hopefully, yeah. But we obviously don't want to jinx that, but we're hoping next year for that.
And then, you know, it's just about time fitting in around schedules and stuff. But hopefully,
I'd love to get back to the UK with all three of us. There is some chance I'm going to come
later in the year to hopefully do some stand-up and stuff.
But yeah, for all three of us, probably...
Not for a little while.
Not for a little while, unfortunately.
But hopefully next year as well, but yeah.
We're so far away from being able to promise that.
It feels crazy now, doesn't it?
That we went, like, we went two years in a row.
I was a different time.
I know.
We probably did because we snuck in that extra trip just in time.
Yeah, just in time.
The second one.
Before the world.
But we're back.
We're back.
World's back.
But yeah, hopefully, like, it's something we love doing it.
I don't want to talk everyone.
I love doing it.
David just hate it.
They can't stand England.
No, no, we can't stand you.
Oh, in England.
You become a different man.
Oh, God, you're crazy in England.
A real Jacqueline Hyde-type scenario.
Yeah.
Had a great time with the book Cheat Show and made me think, yes, I've got to come back.
So we'll make it happen sometime.
And Roy, I will shake your hand and crush it.
I've honestly, I've also lost the ability to do long haul flights.
Oh, right.
My latest flight was 11 hours and I went insane.
It's not even that bad.
Right.
Yeah, that's about half.
Yeah.
I flew Perth to Rome and one go at 18 hours.
That's too long.
It was a long time.
You start to lose your mind.
Yeah.
But if you've got enough sushi lined up, the time flies by.
Thank you for that question, Roy and your title.
Fantastic.
Feels like a week ago.
What a moment that was.
Don't.
I've just cleaned up the tears.
Yeah, I know.
I've tried not to think about it as well.
I just cleaned up the couch.
The next one comes from Sulf.
Sof Waldron,
aka, this really is the hardest part.
Insert witty and or pun-based reference to a recent ep.
Okay, Sof.
Yeah, I love that.
I'm sorry it is tricky.
Yeah, you can leave that blank, of course, as well.
Or you could just write, you know, sir or doctor or whatever you like.
Yeah, whatever.
It doesn't have to be, there should be low pressure on that.
It would be a title of a book.
or something.
Yeah.
Whatever.
It could be Sof,
so you could be Sof Sof Waldron.
Yeah, love that.
For instance.
Sof's asked a question writing,
what's something really popular
that everyone told you to watch
or listen to or read
that you either refused to or did and hated it?
And Sof's answer the question saying,
for me, it's stranger things.
I never got into,
I never got into it originally,
and now I'm trying to watch it
and I just don't get the hype.
I really enjoy.
Stranger Things, especially that I loved the last season.
First season and last season, they were particularly good.
Right.
But I'm trying to see something that everyone loved and I hated.
I feel like, honestly, it happens to me a lot, and I don't mean that in a way of like,
I just, I don't like the mainstream.
Like, I try to like the mainstream, and I rarely do.
Yeah, you don't even own a TV.
No.
No, that's what I'm, like, I'm not that person.
No one.
I'm like, oh, you like Stranger Things, an incredibly popular TV show?
lame i only watch norwegian crime like i know i just like there's so many things that people
are raving about and i'm like i don't like this yeah i'm trying i don't know selling sunsets
um a lot of like the reality tv shows don't like them can't watch them
hmm i tried to watch that show search party yeah oh yeah okay i watched the first episode
just hated every character i was like i hope you all get into a skip and i never see you again
i love that but yeah i know i know what you mean but we've had i i hate it
them all.
We watched search party over the course of about three or four days, all of it.
Yeah.
And it is bonkers.
Right.
Like it jumps the shark about eight times.
It is fucking wild.
My partner kept watching it all and I was just like, oh, that guy again.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
They're awful.
When I walked in and she's watching it.
I'm like, oh, I hate that guy.
He's awful.
I know exactly who you mean because he is awful.
Just like, you know, he's pretty girlfriend.
But you like Seinfeld, right?
Seinfeld are awful people.
But they're funny.
Right.
Okay.
Seinfeld.
I don't, I've never watched.
It's not interested.
Oh, okay.
Everyone loves Raymond.
That's a show that I, I, everyone seems, it's like meant to be a classic, I just don't.
What?
Yeah, it's like it's like critically acclaimed and, but it just felt like the same thing happening
every time and it was all like, oh, my wife.
Yeah, my wife sucks.
And oh, my parents.
Oh, yeah, whim.
But I just never could.
And I like him.
I like, I liked his last stand-up special.
But interesting.
Yeah, that show I just could never get into.
I found it.
oppressing rather than funny but yeah i do find the characters on search party pretty funny but yeah i
also fully understand how i mean i should especially early on they were like getting used to them was
like yeah i should have given them more of a go but i was just in a headspace where i was like there's so
much stuff out there that i could watch i'm not going to put myself through not liking it's such a
funny thing when people say oh it gets good just hate this thing
for a while.
Yeah, you just have to
there's things
I can like straight away.
You don't have to...
I already like Poirot.
Yeah.
He's cool.
I'm about to start again.
Watching the
sushi just defy
aging.
What a guy.
And gravity.
The man floats.
Which is it was a twist
I didn't see coming.
That's right.
Poirot had superpowers the whole time.
Oh, that explains a lot.
Yeah.
Happy with those answers?
I think so.
Yeah.
And then finally from Nathan Swap, aka possibly Bob's least favorite suggestion giver.
Wow.
Nathan, I'm sure that's, I'm sure, well, let's find out.
This is Nathan's suggestion.
Oh, is it accountants or something?
Oh, here we go.
Nathan is suggesting that you do a report on the history of submarines.
I don't hate submarines.
I think they're stupid.
I just think they're stupid
Like we've got
Okay, so I need to get
Over there
Yeah
And there's a body of water in the way
I'll get on a boat
Sure
Boats I understand
Okay
Why the fuck
Do we need to go under the water
Why?
And be like
Oh can't see me
Oh no
enemies are coming
Let's go underwater
I just think they're funny
Yeah
Because they're hiding
From the enemies
It's like
They're cowardly
That's what it sounds like is your issue with them is that they're cowards.
I just think they're funny.
Boats are up on the water.
They're going, come at me, enemy.
I think they're funny and stupid and not enough people are talking about it.
Nathan thinks it would be good for you to have a platform to prove how stupid they are,
or maybe you flip and become a champion of the submarine.
I don't think that's going to happen.
I don't think that's going to happen.
Come on, mate.
Be realistic.
Great suggestion.
Thank you, Nathan.
Great questions from Roy and Stoll.
And I'd love that suggestion about the Hall of Fame from another Nathan, Nathan Damon.
The next thing we like to do is shout out to a few of our other great supporters
who've been supporting the show on the shoutout level,
which I believe is the arse prod level.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sure, why not?
That's one of Dave's great catchphrase.
That was asked on a recent episode.
Where do you go?
Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, why not?
And normally, Jess, you come up with a little game based on the topic.
Oh, but we don't know what this episode was about.
So can you give us something vague or even maybe we just do it about Sydney somewhere because that's where we are?
What about Ritz related maybe?
Yeah, it's a bit la la land.
Oh, okay.
The Ritz is very la la landy.
So as in L.A.
Oh, no, I can't give it away.
A little bit Hollywood.
Let's go out there.
The venue...
I said a lot there.
I said a lot there.
I didn't at all.
I stopped talking.
I don't want to know.
You don't want to know.
Let's just say glitz and glamour.
You know, give them a...
Maybe give them a fancy name.
Perfect.
I love it.
Give them like an old-timey 1920s...
Yeah.
Got it.
Fancy name.
No problem.
Why are you still explaining it?
No need.
I got it.
Fancy name.
All right, if I go and kick us off then,
I'd love to thank from Southampton in Great Britain.
It's John Stockley.
Josh Stockley.
It's Josh Stockley.
Oh, no.
Or is his fancy name
John Stockley?
Yeah.
His fancy name is John Stizzingston.
Oh, that's good.
John?
Yes?
What was the last episode?
Stizzingston.
Stizston.
Come on, that's great.
Junior.
Junior.
Please, John Stizzingston's my dad's name.
Call me John Stizzingston, Jr.
That is Razzle.
That is dazzle.
Josh, you're welcome.
I'd love to thank.
From Houston, Texas in the United States, it's John C.D. Up. John, it's all one word. John C.D. Up. I. How would you, what was it? John Cidioopee. John Cidupe. John Cidupe. Which is already very fancy.
Already very fancy. I think we just add a little bit of razzle to that. Yeah. Could you add a little
sprinkle a little bit? John Cidiope ski. Oh. It's almost like, yeah, are you doing scat there?
John Cidupe ski. No. No. Skack. Oh, Scar, sorry. You doing Scar.
are there?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
God,
he wasn't
peeling herself.
And finally,
I'd love to thank
from Hofdorp
in the Netherlands.
Hoofdorp.
Hoofdorp.
Hoofdor.
Hoofdor.
I'd love to thank,
I mean,
how do you make
how do you razzle-dazzle this?
I'd love to thank Ezra
Zoram Kanas.
Okay,
I reckon because that name is already
so Razor-Dazzo,
we have to give him a very vanilla name.
Oh, okay, yeah.
Greg Williams.
Oh, yeah, Greg Williams.
Two-time Brownlow medalist,
Greg Williams,
Just Diesel, Greg Diesel Williams.
Just go, yeah.
Sometimes you just go into this world that Jess and I are like, what is he talking?
And we try, Matt.
We try to follow.
Greg Diesel Williams, aka Ezra Soram Kannis.
Beautiful.
Kenyes.
What a freaking great name.
Just trying to thank a few.
I would love nothing more.
I would love to thank from Amarillo in Texas, Kate Beckham.
Kate Beckham.
Dave, come on.
You haven't done a Razor-Dazzle yet.
Catherine Beckinghamshire.
Oh, very English.
From Amarillo, Texas.
Catherine Beckinghamshire.
Old money.
That's an old money now.
She's got mahogany in her house.
She's judging you.
She's judging you and what you do.
Oh, how many doilies do you have in your house?
I have several dozen.
Not many frills on your kitchen net.
Kitchen net.
I look down my nose at you.
I try to shush up kitchen.
But you make it smaller.
A kitchen net.
Oh, a kitchen net.
I was like, why is there a net in your kitchen?
Are you hanging fish?
Yes.
Anyway, I would also love to thank from Heighton in Victoria.
Oh, that's very posh sounding.
Very nice area.
Laura Beveridge.
Laura beverage.
What's a fancy drink?
Champagne.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, but Laura beverage, more like Laura.
What about like?
Yeah. Lorraine. Lorraine. Lorraine Champagne. Lorraine. Lorraine Champagne.
Oh, there it is. Lorraine Champagne. And people say, is it Laura Champagne? No. It's pronounced Loren Champon. It's pronounced Weizel.
Loren Champon. I think I nailed that.
I think that was fantastic. That's beautiful. From Heighton. Don't need to move.
And from Glasgow, I would love to thank. Stephen Wilson.
Stephen Wilson
Stefan
Dave, what are you doing?
Wilsonian
Stefan Wilsonian.
That's good.
Pleased to meet you.
Charmed up sure.
That guy has money.
Yeah.
We're talking about stacks.
Oh, cash.
Oh my God, yes.
Stefan Williamson.
No, that's not it.
Anyway.
Wilson.
From Glasgow.
No, that's not it.
I've already lost it.
But I would like to move on quickly
to thank from an unknown location.
I can only assume it's deep within the fortress of the moles.
The second half of this name is already very, very posh sounding.
It's Matt Farthing.
Oh, Penny.
Oh.
Yes.
Penny Swizz Swanson.
Penny Swizz Swanson.
Yeah.
I like it.
Is that anything?
Matt, it's everything.
Matt Fathing, okay, Petty Swiss Swanson.
That's good stuff.
I imagine that they're getting a big inheritance.
Is that a hyphenade say man?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you're from the Swiss Swelington Empire?
Yeah.
Oh, you're from the, the mole people, Swiss Walsington?
My mother did mole hotels, and my dad did mole gold.
Al-Chanty.
He does it mold gold.
I'd like to thank now from Peoria in California.
Hopefully I'm saying that right.
I'm sure I'll get a note saying no.
It's a big shadow.
Peoria.
Peoria.
That's not.
It's just as an alternative.
Thank you.
And I appreciate that.
Appreciate you.
From California, A.A.
It's Roman.
Roman's already good.
Oh, yeah.
Roman's great.
Roman von.
Oh, Swiss Swesington.
Roman von Glebesden.
Oh, yes.
That's lovely.
Roman von Glebsden.
That's good.
What a guy.
I would love to dine at his mansion.
His chalet.
Oh, yes.
Please.
You want to come to my weekend chalet?
I'm a summer chalet or my winter chalet?
It's autumn.
We could go to either.
Both have guest houses.
And I would like to thank finally from Fitzroy North in Victoria.
Riley Aiton.
Riley Aiton.
All right, Jess.
I'll go first name and you go second name.
Okay.
You ready?
Yes.
Miles.
Davis.
Wow.
Yes.
No relation?
No relation.
To whom?
to John Davis.
How are I supposed to know that?
What a weird question, Dave.
I'm so sorry, Jesse did that.
I forgot that you don't know John Davis.
He's a good friend of mine.
You've never mentioned John Davis.
You've never mentioned him before.
I felt bad about that.
He's such a good friend.
He's a great friend.
He's very shy.
He's very shy, John Davis.
That leaves us only with the Triptage Club.
So each week we induct a few of our great long-term supporters.
These people have been supporting the show on the shout-out level or above for three straight years.
So we're welcoming them into the club.
They get lifetime membership.
It's a bit of the theatre of the mind.
I'm standing on the door.
I've got a clipboard.
I'm going to read out names.
We've got 15 inductees today.
Dave, you ready for that?
15.
I'll read out the name.
Dave's on the stage.
Everyone who's already in the club is standing out cheering, chanting, clapping along.
Dave's hyped him up.
He's got them at boiling point in a positive way.
And he's going to read out their name.
Give him a little bit of a hype up, normally a bit of weak wordplay.
Then Jess, just to make sure Dave's feeling comfortable,
is standing behind him one hand on one of his ass cheeks.
I won't say which hand or which ass cheek.
Whispering sweet affirmations into his ear.
Jess, you normally got some sort of cocktail behind the bar?
Hot toddies.
Oh, hot toddies.
And mimosa.
Ooh.
So you got something for the summer,
summer,
for the winter.
Exactly right.
Any somoses?
No.
Damn,
and I'm hungry.
And Dave,
you've normally booked a band?
Yes,
one of the old time great bands.
R.E.M.
or will be joining us tonight.
R.E.M.
Are we talking about,
like, legit R.E.M.
with songs like
Everybody hurts.
Losing my religion.
Keeping the vibe high to tonight.
Night swimming.
Is this who we're talking about?
Yes.
shiny, happy people there.
I've got one of my,
I'm just having an early vague memory of watching the American sitcom Full House.
Oh, yeah.
And in it, the whole episode's building up to the fact that Joey or one of the characters,
one of the uncles maybe, has booked REM.
And it's going to be this big concert at the end of the show,
playing at the local cafe.
They've got REM.
How have they done that?
And it turns out that it's like three old ladies whose names are like Renee, Ernice,
and Mallory.
I was like, you're going to let me get away with that.
And then it was just, and everyone's like, whoa, all these kids are like,
whoa, this is a letdown.
This is going to be the coolest gig.
We're going to see REOM.
Who are these old ladies?
And then they hit the stage and start, for some reason, playing divos whip it.
And the crowd's like, hang on a second.
This is actually great?
These guys rock.
I hope that's a real thing.
I hope that's a real name.
name.
It'd be wild if I've made that up, but that...
The name, Ernest.
I think you have.
I think you have.
All right, Dave, are you ready to welcome in some people to club?
Sorry, are we seeing the band Renee, Ernice and Mallory?
Or is this...
I'm afraid we are.
But they will be featuring a special guest appearance from Michael Stone.
Okay, great.
To play with it.
All right, are you ready, Dave?
here we go.
From Dublin,
we've got Connor Tyrol.
Connor,
it's an honour.
Yes.
From Barrow Infanesse in Cumbria, Great Britain.
It's Jack Hall.
Jack.
It's an honour to have you in.
Oh no.
Jack.
Not small.
Jack tall.
I'm like, he's been waiting three years for this.
Also from Dublin.
More like,
Cumbria, not Cumbria.
That was sort of shit.
Okay.
Edit that out.
I'll edit this one.
From Dublin in Ireland, it's Claire Mulhall.
Oh no, Jess, you might need to just give him a chop out here.
He's running out of steam so early.
We got a few to get through.
Oh, God, there's so many.
Dublin, more like fun.
Dublin.
Also from Dublin in Ireland, it's Adam O'Reilly.
Oh, damn.
It's great to have you in, Adam.
Bublin.
Great up here from Bublin.
From Borhamwood in Hertfordshire, Great Britain,
it's Delali, Quamla, Amafu Day.
Nothing of Borum wood about you.
There is.
You're very interesting.
Nailed it.
From Payneum in South Australia, it's Ryan North.
No painum about you, my friend.
You are of great.
You are of great.
Jess, you've never had to work harder to be supportive, but I don't think.
From Portsmouth in Great Britain, it's Tom Ford.
I'm looking forward to hanging out with Tom.
Yes, he's back.
You love Galway, right.
Bopper in Ireland, it's Karen Nally.
Karen Alley.
What's the Galway song, that famous Galway song?
Galway Girl.
Karen Alley, the Galway Girl is here.
Yes.
From London in Great Britain, it's Hannah Hudson.
Can't wait to Hannah Hug, my son.
Whatever.
He gets home.
From Hannah Hudson, she ain't no Dudsson.
I've never seen Dave choke.
No, so don't get in his head.
He's got the yips.
He's got a few more.
He's all right.
You don't say to someone, you've got the yips.
No, you don't.
I'm trying to reverse jinx him.
I've never heard the phrase yips before.
What does that mean?
Oh, don't worry about it, mate.
Yeah, you definitely don't have it.
Does that mean I'm nail you?
Come on like five more, five more.
From Wolverhampton in England, it's Connor Ainsley.
Oh, nothing painsly pains me when I see Connor Ainsley.
Go wolves.
Go wolves!
Yeah, Wolverhampton Wanderers.
Wolves.
We go from Tontag in Wales.
It is Stephen Prince.
Royalty.
It's Stephen Prince.
From Hove in South Australia, it's Elise Jashk.
I wasn't
I'm going to pronounce that
When you're here
I feel like I'm
Home
Hovem
Horm
Nailed it
Jashki maybe
From
Stephenage
Or Stevenage in Great
Britain
At Sam Woodrow
Every time I hear
The Windblow
I hear
Woodrow
And finally
From Halesham
In Great Britain
It's Stephen Jaggers
He's got the moves
Like Jagers
Yes
We did it
He's fricking done it
Thank you so much
To Stephen
Sam
Emily, Stefan, Connor, Hannah, Karen, Tom, Ryan, Dalaily, Adam, Claire, Jack, and Connor.
You are all gods amongst people.
That was truly exhausting.
I've never felt more pressure on my life.
Really? What an easy life you've had.
Yeah, honestly.
It was weird because it didn't show.
It seemed like you're on top of it.
I felt confident the whole way through.
Thank you.
That was fun for everybody.
Beautifully done.
I think you gave everyone.
They'd all waited three years for that.
and I think it was worth the weight for each and every one of them.
I agree.
That'll all be so, like, what an honour to be in this episode's Triptitch Club read.
Yeah, the one where Dave almost lost his mind.
So that brings to the end of episode.
Jess, what do we need to tell people before we go?
That they can suggest a topic.
There's a link in the show note.
So if you come across a story or you're like, wow, I thought, do no one would enjoy this.
Chuck it in, Jack the Hat, McViddy.
We love your suggestions.
And that's anyone.
It doesn't have to be a Patreon.
That's right.
Anybody can do that.
You can also find that on our website Do Go On Pod
where you can find merch, previous episodes,
and stay up to date with all the latest do go on live shows.
Fantastic stuff.
Dave, please boot this baby home.
We'll be back next week with another episode.
But until then, also thank you so much for listening and goodbye.
Later.
Bye.
Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are
and we can come and tell you when we're coming there.
Wherever we go, we always hear six months later,
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We were just in Manchester.
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