Do Go On - 362 - The Matrix

Episode Date: September 28, 2022

On this week's episode we are joined by Alexei Toliopoulos and Cameron James as we take the red pill and dive deep into the iconic film franchise, the Matrix! This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 15:14 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Check out Cam and Alexei’s new show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZiJnQrsyiM See us live: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: dogoonpod.com or patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Check out our new merch! : https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/  Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club, April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at dogo1pod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right. I'm doing shows with Saren Jayaimana, who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February,

Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattstuartcomedy.com.

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write the future. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnke and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello Dave. Hey Dave. Isn't it so nice to be alive? It's so nice to be alive. He's trying to get that to me as a catchphrase. It's not working.

And we are joined this week by our favourite detective duo. It's Alexi Toliopoulos and Cameron James. Thank you so much for having us. My favourite detective duo is Dick Tracy and that guy with the big head and the small face. Oh, small face, big head. My favourite Dick Tracy character. And let the record show it is I, Alexei Toliopoulos, speaking now. Cameron, introduce your voice.

Hey, guys. There we go. What's up? The listener now has complete knowledge of how the audio dynamic of this podcast goes. It was exciting to sing because I had a real split second to decide on what my new personality was going to be. That's what you went with. I chose California Cartman. Hey, guys, what's up?

We will insist you do that for the next two hours. I can't. I give up. This is how I really talk. That sucks. What's up? Whoa, this guy's sexy. What the heck?

Oh, my God. My loins are a dingle. This makes sense, Oscar. We're in the sunny city of Sydney. It's beautiful to be up here. Dave and I have been here for a week and it's been raining, but the day that Jess comes up, the sun breaks out. You guys brought the weather with you?

Whoa, whoa, you're doing my gear. Sorry, sorry. I did see you do that on stage. I thought it was cool I thought I'd say it This is going to be a loose episode Where are we though now? We are in, what would you call this?

Surry Hills? I would call this Surry Hills Red Fern We are on beautiful Cleveland Street, one of the most exciting dining precincts in Sydney We are in the Lebanese quarter of Cleveland Street right now. Is that the Wendy Malick, Betty White? Yeah, Betty White.

It is like Golden Girls, but set in the 2010s era. I remember it fondly. Yeah, and you didn't even give Betty White top billing there. No, we love Wendy Malick. That's how much I love Wendy Malick. I'm a big Wendy Malick fan. Oh, she's hysterical. Just shoot me. Don't mind

if I do. I know no other credits on her. Just shoot me hot in Cleveland. She's in other stuff, doesn't she? Probably Sex and the City 1-Up. That's my guess. Yeah, probably a guess. Yeah, welcome to Sydney, guys. We appreciate you guys

making the trek, making your way here just to sit with us. Because you've been on the show, this is your third or fourth time on, I reckon, Cam. But, mate, this is the first time we've been in your neck of the woods. It is. It is. And Matt says a lot.

Sydney comedians love to travel to Melbourne. Melbourne comics never show their faces in this city. We're afraid of it. Yeah. It's a big city. It is a big city. And if you don't watch that, they'll chew you up and spit you out. It is rough over here.

Yeah, very violent city. Yeah, it is an urban jungle, if you will. And many a creature lurks to become king of the jungle. And they don't, I mean, the Sydney crowds just don't put up with our meandering Melbourne comedy stylings. That is true. That's true. They demand bits and high LPMs last per minute.

We want punchlines. We want edgy topics and premises. If you go, hey, here's a story about walking down to a nearby creek, everyone's like, shut the fuck up. Stop doing my gear. Again, I apologise because I am just doing word for word. You know, stand up. It did not go well in your Sydney audience.

We don't love this creek shit. You can't eat all this creek stuff. Come on. No way. Less creek, more Greek. That's all we command in Sydney. We do say eat all this Greek stuff. Come on. No way. Less Greek, more Greek. That's all we command in Sydney. We do say that a lot in Sydney. It's my catchphrase, okay?

I'm trying to bring it around. Less Greek, more Greek. It very rarely applies. Finally it worked and it was seamless to say it out loud. I felt this intense pressure in my chest going, I've got to say it. I've got to say it. Now's my time. I will die. I will die.

I will die. Dave, before we go off the rails any further, for any new listeners, and I know that the Mic Check Republic are probably listening, maybe tuning in for the first time. Yeah. The Total Rebootiful Boys might be here as well. Early boy listeners. Early boy listeners, please.

A few people might be here To find Drago And others Yeah sure But Dave For all those listeners If they are tuning in For the first time How does this show work

Well what we do here guys Is we usually Take it in turns To report on a topic Sometimes suggested By one of the listeners We go away Do a little bit of research

Bring it back to the group And the other people Listen intently Quietly They don't interrupt Exactly They just sit and learn. Certainly no dog shit riffs here. That's one of our rules.

They maybe tap the sign. Yeah, okay, we won't do any dog shit riffs. No dog shit riffs. How about cat shit riffs? Now we're talking. Always welcome. Now, it's actually your turn. Yes. Boys, are you reporting together? Yes Well you know Alexi's gonna drive Last time I did the driving

And Alexi was In the front seat next to me Yes Holding the snacks Of course Navigating DJing the entire session Yeah

That was when you were telling us The story of the Guinness Book of World Records Yes Yes Which was a fantastic episode. And a great book. Yeah.

One of the greatest books. Comes out every year. Yeah. The last time- Very few books come out every year. No, that's right. Just that and 1,001 movies you must see before you die. They're the big two.

That's true, yeah. I feel like you can't go on a Wikipedia page, which is like a movie website, wikipedia.org for people who don't know it. You can't look up any movie without it saying, this is one of the 1,001 movies you must see before you die. Every movie's in there. They must cycle them out. They cycle them.

They're trying to get every movie in there to set a point. That's why I'm going psycho. I'm trying to watch every freaking movie ever made. And I'm trying to die soon too. I'm running out of time. I'm psycho, Lex. That's actually one of the classic films. Psycho. Yes, Hitchcock 1960. Oh, and Psycho, Lex. That's actually one of the classic films. Psycho.

Hitchcock. 1960. Who I think of as an auteur. He is an auteur. This is really good. Of course he is an auteur. He has a signature style that one could pick from just a single frame of one of his pictures. Every film he has, every frame, there's a bird in the corner.

There's a bird. A man holding a knife in a shower. And a big red punk guy in a suit. He cameos in his own, there's a bird in the corner. There's a bird. A man holding a knife in a shower. A big or in the other corner. A punk guy in a suit. He cameos in his own films. And a hot blonde chick. Of course, he's fetish for the female form. Probably someone that he's emotionally abused.

Anyway, we usually start with a question. Do you have a question? I do have a question indeed. The question is as follows. What film? Yes, it's based on a film. What film had a pair of sunglasses uniquely designed to suit each of its primary characters? That sounds like something from the 90s.

The Matrix or something like that. Wow. Yes, indeed. The movie is The Matrix. We will be walking you through the production of The Matrix. I wanted to say The Matrix. Oh, wasn't that funny? Jess was like, ooh, and then you still cut it off.

No, no, but the man started talking, so I... I'll fill this one. Ooh, little Nicky. I'll take this. Jess, for your troubles, I'm going to offer you a pair of sunglasses originally designed for Trinity in The Matrix Reloaded. What a funny film. Like, there couldn't be a less sunny film.

To have specific sunglasses made for it. We have Neo glasses for you as well. And Neo glasses for you, Dave. Thank you. You will have to give them back at the end. Yes, we will. We spent a lot of money on those. We will do a photo shoot.

I'm going to don the Matrix glasses that the twins wore in the Matrix Reloaded. Don't you need your actual reading glasses on? I'll put those over the top so I can read as well. Because you could give them to me and then I could wear it. Yeah, you can have them. Actually, I can't read without my little glasses. Where do you access these sunnies? Well, Alexi and I have just finished shooting a web series

with Auntie Donna called Finding Yeezus. And when we got given our production budget, which wasn't a lot of money. Yeah, not that much money. Only $7 million. Wow. An indie flick. Yeah, compared to The Matrix. That's nothing.

That's nothing. It's change. I can't remember. It was not a lot of money. But when we got given the money, as soon as it came into our bank account, the first thing we bought were all the sunglasses from the major. Because it was cheaper to buy them as a bundle rather than individually. And I would say one thing that's interesting,

because they were uniquely designed for the characters of these movies, they designed with one person's face in mind. And I would say everyone in this room looks really stupid. That's terrible. I do not see anyone except Keanu Reeves. I love the idea of the futuristic sunnies. They're like, in the future, there'll be no frames. It's just glass

and arms. Yeah. Well, except for Morpheus, no arms. Which, by the way, we do have the Morpheus ones, but I couldn't find them. And they were probably the most expensive ones. Do they not all look exactly the same? They're all quite similar. They look like the little sort of glasses that you wear at a tanning salon or something.

But all the original Matrix glasses were handmade by eyewear designer Richard Walk of Eyewear Company Blind Optics. He wanted the glasses to be very futuristic and different from anything anyone had ever seen before. I thought... In turn, he designed one of a kind. Are you going to take your mind back to the late 90s? Yeah, I do, yeah. These are everywhere now.

They look like the singer from The Birds. You know, he wore these sort of glasses, didn't he? Yeah, actually, they're not that unique. Now that I think about it, we did waste $200. Yeah, we could have just gone anywhere. You got a list of 200? That was half your budget. Yeah.

But the reason we bought them is because The Matrix does play a significant part in finding Yeezus, and we bought them technically as props for that web series. Can you just quickly, before we get into the report, can you quickly, I'm assuming finding Yeezus is a Kanye thing? Yes, here's the long and short of it. There is a video game on the internet called Kanye Quest 3030. That video game is, well, you play as Kanye West and you battle rappers and try to become the number one rapper

in the world. The rumour, the urban legend, the conspiracy theory around that game is that it was created by a cult called Ascensionism and they were trying to recruit young minds into their cult. That is what the third season, that's what Finding Yeezus is about. It's us diving into that. It is our third mystery, but our first as a YouTube series produced

by Aunty Donna. And because it's all about, like, this new religion that's, like, transhumanist that brought up many images of the Matrix to us, it's a digital technological world, and we kind of used that as, like, the stylistic inspiration for our series. Some leather jackets. We bought a lot of leather jackets. We wore a lot of leather jackets.

A lot, a lot of leather jackets. We all wore big boots. We all got leather boots as well. And yeah, we look fly as hell. So that's why we want to talk about The Matrix. I know nothing about the making of this film at all, I don't think. Have you seen the movie? I've seen the film.

I can't see who you're looking at with those eyes on. Dave's also crooked. Nobody looks good, but Dave looks the worst. Cams look like they are upside down for sure. Yours are crooked, mate. It's made your whole face look odd. You look like a member of the Rembrandts. Does that mean anything to anyone?

As in, so no one told you life was going to be this way. People constantly mistake me for Keanu, so I don't see why that would be. Yeah, the cat from the movie Keanu. You look like a cat. I've seen the first one and I don't think I've seen the second two. Yeah, I think the same. Well, there is even a fourth one.

Oh, really? That was in cinemas at the end of last year, at the start of this year. Yes. There are many fable journeys in the Matrix franchise. Yeah, and the other fact, I can't remember who it was, but someone famous knocked back the main role because they thought it sounded stupid. Oh, there's many people that knocked it back.

There were many different combinations of actors that could have been in those roles. Sean Connery was approached to play Morpheus, and he said, no. No, thank you. I only do Bond, James Bond. And Indiana Jones' father. Irish farsight. I only do Bond. James Bond. I'm Indiana Jones' father. I'm his father.

I can't do this movie. I think he knocked back the Matrix and then it was a big hit. So the next thing that he was offered, he didn't understand, he took it. And it was the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Oh, that's so funny. He said no to Gandalf as well, right? He said no. No, Gandalf.

I shall pass. I'm his role. You do sound like Goldmember, actually. He said no to Gandalf as well, right? He said no to- What? No, Gandalf! I shall parsh on this road! You do sound like Goldmember, actually. I shall parsh! I'm Bond, James Bond! Yes, it's funny! Will Smith is probably the one you're thinking of. That's the most iconic opportunity in history that was passed up for us.

And he took Wild Wild West? He did Wild Wild West and Stairs of the Matrix. Of course, back then, we didn't know how good Will Smith was at slapping. He did the kung fu stuff. Oh, God, this is- I'm going know the time of my fucking life right now. This is a bit of heaven. I can picture listening to this and people go like, I feel like they're having fun,

but I don't know if I quite understand what's going on. And if you don't quite understand, what you need to remember is that we're wearing Matrix glasses. Yes. The glasses. Press pause. Get the goggles. Yeah, that is the energy that we're... And drinking beers. Yes. Get the glasses. Press pause. Get the goggles. Yeah, that is the energy that we're-

And drinking beers. Yeah. Okay. And if you do need the full image, let me remind you, I'm not wearing the glasses because I do need to read. Yeah. And I need my own glasses. Yeah.

And I'm going to take mine off because I can't see anymore. I'm going to keep mine on. Me too. Okay, I like it. Thank you. I just took a selfie to see what I look like, and I thought I looked fly as heck. You look fly as fuck, brother. Fly as heck.

Fly as heck. You look like someone who would say that, yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. And I mean that as a compliment. Well, shall I begin my tale? You generally look like the singer from The Rembrandts. What a compliment.

As I remember it. I'm going to have to look him up. I reckon, yeah. The band that everyone in the world loves. I reckon just start talking, Alexi. Allow me to begin. Whoa. The Matrix, one of the most noodle-cooking, philosophically trippy films and important

documentaries of the millennium mindfuck era of cinema. A film that weaves threads of eclectic influences of kung fu and wuxia cinema john the woo and the heroic bloodshed of 90s hong kong action cinema anime manga and of course philosophy that examines the very nature of reality through questions like holy smokes do i live in a freaking fake belief simulation of Sydney, Australia? A question I myself have pondered many, many times. And now let the record show that before you, I'm holding out my palms, much like a moment in the movie The Matrix. And each palm, you will have to pretend that in those palms sits a potential podcast episode.

This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back you take the blue podcast the episode ends Cameron and I plug our new documentary series finding users and you believe whatever you want to believe okay or you take the red podcast you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes and in this version we will also plug our new video documentary series, Finding Yeezus, available on the Grouse House YouTube channel from the 26th of September, and new episodes

coming out every Monday after that. Filmed at Stupid Old Studios, am I right in saying that? Yes, it was. The brand new, the first thing filmed there. The first production to christen the Stupid Old Studios, much like the Matrix movies were the first production to christen Fox Studios here in Australia.

In Sydney. God, he's good. It was filmed here in Sydney, Australia. Oh, my God. You didn't know that? Oh, my gosh. I don't think. Oh, no, I did because every small character was a home and away actor.

A lot of us, yeah. Aidan Nicodemus made her big screen debut in The Matrix playing Dwight Rabbit. What? Wow. All right. Yes. All right. So we need to pick.

We need to pick. I'm going to vote for Blue Pill right here. That's the one we're in. The episode. Oh, fuck. Well, that one, he just comes out soon. Thanks, guys. I got confused.

Yes, we can overrule you. I'm going for Red. You've got the casting vote. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to offend. I got confused. You. You've got the casting vote. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to offend. I got confused. You have to leave. David is like, I hate this.

I want this to be over. You're scaring me. I'd like to go home now. Yeah, I'm doing my extremely exciting character voice. Guy who knows heaps about the Matrix. I think we're going to say red. All right. Okay.

I'm with you all the way, Bob. Yeah. Wow. Well, if you all see The Matrix, would you like me to provide a plot synopsis? Pluck from imdb.com. Yes. That'd be fantastic. Give us a plot.

I would have preferred it if it was from memory from you, Alexei, but I can sink back into it if you need. I reckon you could do it from memory. Yeah, The Matrix. It's cool, it's awesome, and get ready for the ride of your life but this one this is a log line from imdb a plot synopsis from user anthony perea hypersonic91 at yahoo.com is their username shout out shout out hypersonic91 at Yahoo.com. During the year 1999, a man named Thomas Anderson, also known as Neo, lives an ordinary life. A software techie by day and a computer hacker by night. He sits alone at home by his monitor, waiting for a sign, a signal from what or whom he doesn't know.

Until one night, a mysterious woman trinity seeks him out and introduces him to that faceless character he has been waiting for morpheus i'm a messiah of sorts morpheus presents neo with the truth about his world by shedding light on the dark secrets that have troubled him for so long that's where the synops ends, but the dark secret is the world is fucking made up by computers. Wow. The most shocking thing I found there was that Neo's real name is Thomas. Yeah, Thomas Anderson. I don't recall that

at all. Don't you remember Mr. Anderson? I remember Mr. Anderson. Do you wish he was Thomas Anderson? It was there. Tom Anderson. And that's also, I guess, why Hugo Weaving's in it. Yeah. He was just a local.

They parked him off the street. He was a busker. He was a busker on the street. He was painting himself silver. Street performer. He was a silver man on the street. Yeah, he's very good. With a little harmonica in his mouth.

He was echoing the movements he made. He was doing the agent character on the street. Ah, Mr. Anderson. If you like what you see, put money in my hat. The Matrix, of course, begins in the minds of Lana and Lily Wachowski, born and raised in Chicago. They began- Ah, the Windy City.

Oh, what do you call it? Chi-town. Chi-town. Chi-town. Chi-town. On account of all the tea they have in there. Chi-tea-town Tri-town And the count of all the T they have in there Tri-T-town I've heard it called the Windy City

I've heard it called the Second City I've never called it Tri-town Some people derisively call it Chirac Oh Yeah, I don't like that No I like Tri-town though Yeah, Tri-town's nice

Yeah, it sounds cool I like Chicago The original home of the Playboy Mansion Really? Oh yeah Oh my gosh Oprah Winfrey, I don't know if you've heard of her She's from over in the neighbourhood I like Chicago. The original home of the Playboy Mansion. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Oprah Winfrey. I don't know if you've heard of her.

She's from over in the neighborhood. And Roger Ebert, the first film critic to make it to the big time. And Kanye West from Yeezus. No shit. Exactly. Chicago is home to many fascinating characters. That's a big city. It's a big city.

It's a windy city. It's a big city, yet two of the people we mentioned, Roger Ebert and Oprah, once fucked. What? Is that true? Is that true? They went on a date. What?

Yeah, they went on a date. No way. Yeah, they dated. It's a big city, but a small world. Yeah. Do you reckon they did it? I reckon they did it. No way.

That is hot. He was horny. He was a horny fellow. His dick was the colour purple I heard. I wonder how many he gave it out of four. How many stars? Yeah, two thumbs up. I won't say where.

I just can't picture that. Well, you're not allowed to. You don't have to picture it. You're not allowed to. What do you mean I'm not allowed to? Please stop it. It's against the rules. I think I can't. Hang on a minute. Take your long tail. picture that well you're not allowed to you don't have to picture it i think there's even clips where they talk about they Davids. Yeah, so we fucked. Whoa, so Goddard is there? Well, shall I continue?

I'm one sentence in. Lexi, please do go on. Wow, wow. To be hit with the title of the podcast and all that. In 1993, the Wachowskis got their start in creative work as writers for a bunch of comics created by horror mastermind Clive Barker for Marvel Comics, most notably Ecto Kids. Yet to join the Marvel Cinematic Universe, by the way. But by the mid-90s, they moved into screenwriting with Sylvester Stallone versus Antonio Banderas action movie Assassins. So, that was a spec script that they wrote and they sold it in the studio.

We're like, this is the coolest shit I've ever seen in my life. Let's put Sly in it. Let's put that hot little bandera in it. That little twink from Salad. Hey, little puss in boots. Yeah, let's get that puss in boots in there. And then Richard Donner, the director, was like, this script's fucking whack.

Let's get some hack to write all over it again and crush it out. They got butchered. They got a ring with it. They got butchered. They got butchered. They tried to get their name strucken from the record. And the movie currently sits at 16% on Rotten Tomatoes. Not their fault. Wow.

And you might also like sections. If they suggest, if you like assassins, then it suggests all these other movies that also are extremely rotten films. Oh, God. I think you like all of them, Cameron. Like what is that? Kiss the Girls, 33%. Morgan Freeman.

Yeah, I do like that. Hard Rain. Oh, I really like that. Hard Rain rocks. Last Man Standing, the Bruce Willis one. How are these rotten films? These are top tier shit. Yeah, they suck.

That was my favourite genre of movie when I was a teenager was like if you get Morgan Freeman as a detective solving a murder, I was pretty happy. I was happy with that. So like three movies. Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, does that count? No, not really. I mean, he is in that movie but yeah

I guess March of the Penguins I guess I guess he's investigating the lives of penguins Shawshank Redemption he's the opposite of a detective he's a criminal

he's actually a crook in that one stop trying to impress the cinephiles Matt come on I could list I could list three films of any actor

well the Wachowskis having that experience making that film getting getting torn away from them, they decided that to become successful and to protect the vision, they would have to become auteurs themselves, writer-directors, which leads them to writing a script for a little movie known as The Matrix. Oh, shit. Yes. You didn't see that coming? I didn't see that coming. It's their directorial debut. known as the matrix no they have to make one movie they'd make to the matrix because they wrote the script everyone's like this is the best fucking thing I've ever read it's crazy my lord the first 40 to 50 pages are blowing my mind and then after that I'm extremely confused I have no idea what's going on they but I think it's cool we do think it's cool we gotta make this thing because we think it's cool but they had

to prove themselves as directors first to be able to direct that movie because no one can make that if you write that script and give it to some hack they're gonna have no idea what to do I think the new Lord of the Rings show is just by two people that have never made anything before and it is cool I've seen two episodes and I'm so cool about that show.

It's awesome. They should have given it to me if they're giving it to nobody that has any actual credits. I got a couple. I made a podcast. You worked on Show Me The Movie with Rove McManus. Yeah, I worked on two cancelled Rove TV shows. Give me a shot at the big links.

But they had to make a movie first to prove their worth, to prove their vision, to prove that they can be trusted with making a big feature film. That movie is Bound, a naughty little neo-noir classic. Cameron, can you tell people about what Bound is? I've never seen Bound. You would have seen Bound 2, though. The song by Kanye West.

I've seen that. The film clip with Kim Kardashian. Yeah, on the motorbike. Yeah, very sexy stuff. What do you know about that? Is that the sequel to this film? Yeah, is it related to- It's not related.

It's not related. Well, I know about Bound because it's one of those DVD covers that I would see at the video shop when I was a kid. And I never rented it. But if I had to guess what the plot was, it would be two beautiful women, maybe one played by Carla Gugino, perhaps. I think Gina Gershon. Yeah, why not?

And another one played by someone else. Joe Pantoliano. I thought it was two chicks. It is. It's two girls. Okay. I can't remember who the other person is, but it's a great little naughty little girl. They're like, are they spies or something?

They're thieves. Thieves. They fall in love. Surely we all get to go at guessing what the movie's about. Yeah, of course. What do you think bound this? All right. Two thieves. Pretty much. Yeah, of course. What do you think bound this? All right. Two thieves.

Pretty much. You already knew that. They retire, but they get called back in for one last job. Oh, I like that. I'd watch that. My guess is it's three pets who somehow get separated from the family and have a wild journey. I'd watch that too.

Isn't that Homeward Bound? Yeah. So, that's the poster that I was thinking of. So it's Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly. It's got a bit of a Wild Things vibe about it. Was it from the same era? It must be, right? Yeah, 1996.

Corky, a tough female ex-convict working on an apartment renovation in Chicago building meets a couple living next door, Caesar, a paranoid mobster, and Violet, his seductive girlfriend, who is immediately attracted to her. So, it's one of the first movies to feature touching between two ladies. One of the first films. I actually didn't know that.

That's true. But it was the first one to do so, essentially. Wow. And did that finally break down the deschanel thing what's it called again bechdel test the bechdel test actually didn't exist back then i didn't i was trying to get it right the deschanel oh no but that movie is uh like a cult success a cult hit, and it gives them the edge to finally go in and turn that script called The Matrix into a movie called The Matrix.

They make the jump from $5 million picture to $100 million picture. Wow, that's a jump. That's a big old leap. And it happens more now, but back then, extremely rare for such a thing to happen. Does that feel like what you've done with Finding Drago up to Finding Yeezus? Wow. Is it that kind of a leap for you?

Is your budget 20 times bigger? A budget jump from $20,000 to maybe $60,000. That is a pretty big jump. $60,000? Yeah, maybe it was around. I don't know. We're not going to put the wreck on the record. What the money we got.

It might have been more than that. Yes. You could have got a little deposit on a one-bedroom in Sydney first. Imagine if we extorted Screen Australia. Yeah, a one-bedroom in someone else's house. But that's a- That period there where they're sort of like- They come off negative experience with assassins.

They have a bit of a sleeper cheap hit with bound then they start pitching to get financing on the matrix they've still only made one small budget movie so they have to sell themselves in the room and this is something i really like about their story is that they approach every pitch meeting as if they are actors in a play and they come in and they kind of perform their movie for the executives oh mr anderson it's got like a one-man show vibe where they kind of like describe the script because the script is so different to everything else being made it's an action heavy script and you know usually in action in the script it's like oh the cavalry comes in and takes over the freaking fortress

or whatever. But here they're like, you see them run across the walls and, like, they really go into detail. So people are reading and having no idea what's going on. So they have to act it out. They also get comic book artists they collaborated with on Ecto Kid, the Marvel cinematic. They had to be made into a cinematic thing,

but Cameron and I are trying to pitch for Ecto Kids. We're trying to get an Ecto Kid movie made. Jess is our, in terms of our podcast, our biggest Marvel fan. Have you heard of Ecto Kid? Yeah. And he's awesome. No follow-up questions. Because I'm also trying to-

You're working on an Ecto Kid project. Yeah, but I want to play Ecto Kid. Yeah. So, I'm just sort of thinking like, I don't really know what age range I can play. Yes. I don't know what my lower- I aged out of being able to be Ecto Kid. I don't have to be Ecto Dad now if I do it.

I got Botox to try and play Ecto Kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they only put it into my nose. You look great. Thank you so much. Your nose looks so pretty and so youthful. They only put the Botox into my nose. Your nose looks so pretty. Totally put it into my nose. Totally put the Botox into my nose. Your nose is looking tight.

Yeah, it's a really tight nose. I can barely breathe. I'd say it's a youthful nose, though. Thank you so much. She whistles when I try to be silent. But how old is EctoKid? Because in a way, aren't we all kids? We're kids of someone.

My dad and my mum.. My dad and my mum. And my dad and my mum. Oh my god. We're not related, believe it or not. Not yet. What does that mean? Who knows? Cousins that marry?

That's what we're saying. We don't know. You don't know. No one knows what the future holds in this room. Alexi could marry my mum And be my stepdad Exactly In law And in life The law of man and the law of God will unite us

Would you adopt me? Of course I would darling This family means so much to me. How else would I show that I'm Barnabas? See, it's that easy. Are you going to call him Dad? No, Papa. Yeah, Papa.

Are you going to take the Toleopolis name? Yeah, would you take my name if I told you? Jess Toleopolis? Oh, fuck. Jess Toleopolis. Oh, I like it. I like it. Strong name.

I like it. Yeah, strong name for a strong-nosed family. Who wants to take Botox to the nose to look more like me? Yeah, she knows I'm looking a little floppy for a totally up-close. We got those tight, whistly schnozzers in my family. In our family. Oh, thank you so much. That was the first test and you passed it.

Thank goodness. But this script for The Matrix is so wacky and confusing to even give it to the actors. To Keanu Reeves, they said, before you read the script, we're giving you three books. Three books. And the books are Simulacra and

Simulation by Jean Baudillard. A philosophy book. Imagine that. Out of Control, The New Biology of Machines, Social Systems and the Economic World by Kevin Kelly, an editor of Wired.com, the website and magazine, and Evolutionary Psychology. And then he could read the scripts. He freaking loved it. Did Yann DeBont have the same requirements for speed?

Yeah. And for twisters. He's like, you've got to read all these weather books. That's why Sean Connery said no. He got out of control. He's like, no, thank you. I shan't do this. Imagine just like going for an action movie.

They're like, your agent's like, great news. They want you to be in this action movie. You have to do stunts and fire guns and shit. The bad news is they want you to read French philosophy. Yeah. Three fucking books about it, actually. Do you have to do a test at the end to prove you've read it? I guess so.

You just say, yeah, I read it. Because they made- The story goes that they made all the main cast read these books and some of the crew. So, like, the DOP and shit like that. The best boy is furious. I can't imagine the best boy. The grip probably doesn't help.

The grip, probably not. The g probably doesn't have to read it. The grip probably not. The gap might. He was in charge of the electronics and lighting department, so he would need to go, okay. And the art department probably have to have a read. But apparently Carrie-Anne Moss is the only one who was like, I didn't read it.

I just lied. Because this is pretty audible as well. You have to turn the pages yourself. Or at least get a book on tape. Or if you're a celeb, you get someone to read it for you. Or even like the character George Costanza from Seinfeld, pretend that you're blind and get someone to read it to you over the phone. In one of my favourite episodes of Seinfeld.

That's a possibility. Called The Book on Tape, I think. Now, what's Seinfeld about, Alexei? Seinfeld follows the chronicles of Jerry Seinfeld. It's a bit of a show about nothing, I've heard. Can't believe we haven't done an episode on it yet. I mean, I would have thought we would get to that before The Matrix. Well, The Matrix holds many secrets, some that many would consider quite unnatural.

Oh. Oh, my goodness. Yes, such as Jeff Darrow, comic book artist of the cult classic Hardball, became the first concept artist and his images helped translate the movie from their ideas into reality. Interesting fact for you guys. This brings us into the pre-production where design really takes shape and where design becomes important in making The Matrix the classic that it is of the year 1999 the production designer owen patterson who is a sydney cider and kim barrett a costume designer also a sydney cider they decide to make the two worlds that are represented in the matrix the real world of kind of crazy stuff out there in the future with robots and sentinels and all that stuff. Oh, sorry.

Your mic just cut out. Oh, my God. We should also say, while Alexi's testing his mic out there, there might be some spoilers in this episode. So if you haven't seen The Matrix yet, maybe pause now, go watch the trilogy or the quadrilogy. Quadrilogy. And play the video games. Play the video games.

And watch The Animatrix. Watch The Animatrix. And watch Squid Boy or whatever the thing was based on. Yeah, you games. And watch the Animatrix. Watch the Animatrix. And watch Squid Boy or whatever the thing was based on. Yeah, you may as well read Ecto Boy. Ecto Boy, sorry. And you've got to read those three books as well. Yes. Before you watch The Matrix, read those three books.

Am I good? You're good. Wow. Okay, let's get back to Owen Patterson and Kim Barrett in the world of The Matrix, which is the made-up and fake-believe world that looks like Sydney, Australia. There are grids everywhere in The Matrix and tones of greens and the costumes and structures on set. And all the costumes are designed to pick up the colour green

when light is hit in it. So, that's a beautiful little detail to kind of bring that digital world to life. And then the actual real life world which is set in the future and everything looks kind of like fuck ugly really ugly and rusty and stuff but they have soft textures in the clothing so the hard latex and leather they have in the fake world and blue colors they avoid green at all, except for the green codes on the monitors, which is where one would enter the Matrix. The zeros and ones sort of thing. The zeros and ones.

So, in one world there's green lights, in the other there's no green lights. No green. Was your monthly comedy room green lights comedy an homage to this? Of course it was. The Matrix is all around us, especially when you're in Sydney, Australia, the home of the Matrix. But I actually have been in the home of the matrix itself owen patterson the production designer i'm close friends of his daughter and i've been to their house where they have heaps of matrix

memorabilia there was one time i went to their home and it was a beautiful home it was a party i had taken some illicit materials what are did you take? What are we talking about? I dropped something. Laxatives. I dropped my guts. I took a hot dose of some illegal laxatives. Not important. Dropped a dose and dropped a deuce.

Double dose of lax. I did a double dose of lax. It was going bottoms up and bottoms out. You're just wondering how one's house is looking for a bathroom. That is actually the main part of the story. I was wondering the house looking for a bathroom, and the family had secluded themselves from the rascally young party goers. How old were you at this point?

I would have been 19 years old. I would have been 19 years old. So, it's a house party of 19-year-olds and the rest of the family will go into a separate room and let the kids have their fun. They're in the living room and I'm trying to find a bathroom. I open the door to the living room by accident and I see them they're all watching TV what should be on the TV they're watching the matrix on DVD or blu-ray they have heaps of copies of it they're watching on free-to-air TV with ad breaks. That's so strange. That's a real weird thing to walk in on. So I think that's the way you're meant to watch it.

It would have been less weird if you walked in on like a fuck party or something. Like walking into Paul McCartney's house and he's listening to a Beatles record or something. Yeah, with a guy going, now that was Paul McCartney of Wings in his previous band, The Beatles. Yeah, so that was pretty whack. I think about that often. Yeah. That's odd. Yeah, but I loved that part of my life. Yeah so that was pretty whack I think about that often Yeah That's odd Yeah but I loved that part of my life

Yeah Yeah that's the thing about living in Sydney You and Cam Are living so close to the heart of this beautiful story Man we You can walk past locations Of it I walked past the bridge

Where Neo I walked under the bridge Yeah Where Neo gets that little robot thing in him past the bridge where Neo- I walk under the bridge where Neo gets that little robot thing in him. Under the bridge, Chili Peppers star. I'm looking for heroin. And laxatives. If you find laxatives, let me know. I walk under that bridge where Neo gets a little robot thing put in him

and then sucked out of his belly button most days. And every time I go, I should take a photo of this bridge because one day it won't be here and this is special yeah special moment can you please take a photo for us next time you're walking under that bridge definitely buying heroin i'll wear a wire well one of the other things that makes the matrix so fascinating and why it's last as a classic holding its cult status is that it has very unique fight choreography. This, of course, comes from Yun-Wu Ping, a fight choreographer, who made his bones directing Jackie Chan in his breakout hits Drunken Master and Snake in the Eagle's Shadow, which both have interesting scenes where a guy gets his balls ripped off.

Whoa. Yeah. Is that his trademark? You've seen The Matrix. I'm sure you've seen that scene happen. When you bring up Jackie Chan, I think as three proud Melbournians, we've got to bring up, I can't remember the name of it, but Jackie Chan actually filmed a movie in Melbourne once.

No more missing the last guy. Yes. There it is. Yes. He's also a Canberran. I'd be jealous. He nice guy yes there it is yes he's also a cam there and jealous he's cambrough he's from cambrough i'm jealous sorry jackie chance from cambrough what yeah he's from cambrough what are you talking about he went to school in cambrough and stuff his parents opened the restaurant there are you Yeah. Should we change it? You're fucking lying. There's no way that's true. I've heard that. Yeah.

He's got some big Aussie connection. I thought he was from Hong Kong. I knew he had an Aussie connection, but there's no way he's from Canberra. He's from Canberra, the nation's capital. Born and bred in Canberra? A-C-T. Why aren't Canberrians telling us this? Tom Chaney.

I can't. No, he's not born there. He's born in Hong Kong. Look up Command F Canberra or A-C-T. How do you think Canberra became the capital? Oh, good point not born there. He's born in Hong Kong. Look up Command F Canberra or ACT. How do you think Canberra became the capital? Oh, good point. Jackie Chan punched his way. I can't.

I just can't. All right, look, I'm just going to quickly command F. Has he at least visited? Give Lexi something. He's been there. He's been there, done that. Has he been to the war memorial? Okay, yeah, okay.

So, his parents moved to Australia in the 70s. Jackie Chan joined them in Australia in 1976 where he briefly attended Dixon College and worked as a construction worker. There you go. I can't believe we claim Russell Crowe. He got his name Jackie here in Australia. He was just called Jack and Aussies called him Jackie.

Holy shit. What the fuck is going on? Am I in the Matrix? You got two reports in one on this episode. I feel like we're taking the red pill. Yeah, this is insane. I voted blue. I knew I couldn't handle it.

Holy shit. This is crazy. I cannot believe. Why are we proud of... We're so much... We're proud of any bullshit. Exactly. We're proud of New Zealand racehorses.

Yeah, that's true. Who lived here for a bit. That's why I always claim Jackie as Aussie. He's one of the great Aussie- Holy shit. One of the great Aussie- He's one of the great Aussie- His stint on Neighbours was legendary.

I was proud that he briefly made a film here. I didn't know he fucking lived here, dude. Jesus. Thank God they called him Jackie, not like Jacko or something. Jacko Chan. He worked as a construction worker. He probably built some of our most famous buildings. Oh, shit.

Maybe he built that bridge. Oh, my gosh. All Parliament House. Yeah. I think he built the slide at Questacon. That's a national treasure. And we thank him for that. He built a parking lot in Green, I heard.

Thank you, Jackie. Wow. I don't know if you're going to be able to top that. I know. I blew my freaking wand. I blew my whole wand. Did you blow your wand on a side note? Yeah.

That was off the cuff. Jackie Chan, one of Hong Kong's most exciting stars from Rush Hour 1, 2, and, of course, Rush Hour 3. Man, I loved those Rush Hour movies as a kid. Oh, yeah? Or whenever they came out, probably when I was quite old. I don't know. Yeah, how old are you?

I'm hundreds of years old on this podcast. Well, it would have come out when you were 108 probably. And isn't that interesting, though, that you were like when I was a kid but you were probably an adult? And that's why I think I should be able to play Ecto Kid. That's a good point. Get her in. Ecto Kid is really a state of mind.

That's so true. You don't have to sell us on this concept. We're not in charge of Ecto Kid. You've got some connection to it though, let's be honest. That's true. I do have a stake in Ecto Kid. I'm a co-creator of the character. Well, anyway, this guy yun wo ping he trained all the actors to do kung fu which is a form of martial arts and the wachowskis put four months in the schedule for training ping thought two would be

more than enough two months that's all he thought it would take but then after the first day of training he saw the actors so they couldn't even really punch And start to freak out He said that he became quite concerned And after the first day, he switched to starting with Exercises to just build their strength And he needed to utilise those full two months Because

Just before training began Keanu Reeves had a two level spinal fusion Oh shit And when you see him training in the documentaries He's always wearing a neck brace That's true he's got a neck brace on in all the training I thought he was wooden because of just like acting Skills

No it's a spinal He's had a spinal fusion a level two Spinal fusion It actually must have been insane to be an actor on this movie And be like alright so I've got to read these three philosophy books And then do four months of boot camp. Whilst wearing a neck brace. Yeah, what the fuck?

But imagine you come in going, I'm going to teach him Kung Fu and you're like, I have to take him back to exercise? Yeah, I've got to show them how. You couldn't go any further back than that. I know, I know. The poor guy, because he's used to working with actual martial artists and then he comes in and it's Hugo Weaving. And they all made the decision that like, it looks way in and it's hugo weaving and they all

made the decision that like it looks way better when it's the actors doing it rather than stunt doubles he needs to look and feel real because such an integral part of the movie and then yun wu ping uh found everyone's strengths and their style and kind of stylized their choreography around the strengths around their personalities that's so. And so this is what he says about each of the four primary leads. Carrie-Anne Moss has a beautiful feminine figure. Her beauty flows with her jump, bounce, and walk. That's her strength. Jump, bounce, jiggle.

Correct. Her movements have an essence of beauty. She's a very perched, perky woman. Everyone's strength. Hers is walking. Yeah. I really hope that this doesn't stand out as being awful when you read Outland X3. Well, the rest are a little less poetic, a little bit shorter to the point.

Lawrence, as in Lawrence Fishburne, was born good at bouncing and jumping. Okay. That was his whole observation on him. Keanu is very diligent. He always wants to do things better. And Hugo's movements are very strong, clean and precise. He's like a robotic man, very powerful. So, he must have seen him busking on the street.

Is that so? Yeah. Yeah, I think it's like- I watched the documentary, The Matrix Revisited. Great picture, two hours long. It's just two hours long behind the scenes. Montage, essentially. There's no story to the documentary the uh matrix revisited great picture two hours long this is two hours long behind the scenes montage essentially there's no story to the documentary it's two hours of montage and um it's yeah he basically says keanu he's tenacious so i focused on he's that i focused

on that lawrence powerful i focused on that hugo precise focused on that carrie ann moss she's uh yeah she's a woman um she's graceful she's very pretty so yeah just yeah focus on that but when you watch the movie carrie ann moss is like the best in it she does all the cool shit she gets to run up the walls does that cool famous kick that everyone copied badass and she has boobs while she's doing all these things she's got tits as well yeah yeah oh that's cool she's wearing heels these things. And she's got tits as well, yeah. Yeah, oh, that's cool. And she's wearing heels. Oh, that's good. Yeah. That makes me feel represented.

Yeah, well, that's good. That brings us to one of the most ultimate and exciting advances in technology that The Matrix brings to the dawn of cinema at this time, the dawn of the new millennium. We are talking about bullet time. No. Wait, what does that mean? Bullet time is a technique that the Matrix really made cool and exciting and famous.

Cameron, do you want to tell us what bullet time is and how it works? I don't have any notes in front of me, so this is just purely from my- The dome. The consciousness. I did put it in late 90s parlance. Top of the dome. Yeah, straight from the dome. Cameron's going to glean the cube with this one.

Hits from the bong. Another 90s reference. So, bullet time. If you've seen the movies, the Matrix movies, you know the parts where it kind of slows down and Neo, like, leans backwards and bullets whiz past him. They whiz past him or- They whiz. Carrie-Anne Moss' character Trinity jumps up and does that cool kick and the camera like spins around her in slow-mo while she's hanging in the air.

That is a technique called bullet time that was never really used before. This maybe a couple of times was used in advertising and music videos and stuff. Yeah, there's a few times that they kind of- not in this way, where it was kind of pioneered before that. Michel Gondry, the French director and his effects company Buff, pioneered bullet time in some photography in music videos, like the Rolling Stones cover of Like a Rolling Stone, directed by Michel Gondry. Weird music video.

Everyone's faces is like warping around and stuff. So, the way it's done is in The Matrix, the way that they did it is they set up 100 still cameras, like normal camera, you know, it takes a still image. Yeah, like an SLR type thing. SLR, DSLR probably. Yeah. Digital.

Maybe 99 could have been a regular SLR. Could have been an SLR. Yeah. Could have just been an SLR. No, no, I think it was important you put him up there and I appreciate that you did. I mean, there could have been disposable cameras back then. I had to assert some authority over this thing that I'm making up. They use a hundred cameras in a circle that take still images around the actors.

And then those are all stitched together to kind of animate like a fucking movie. They turn it into a movie from stills. And then usually it's like a semicircle. They turn it into a movie from stills. And then usually it's like a semicircle. And on the end of each end of that semicircle, there's like a motion regular film camera that will pick up the start and end of that movement. So, that way they've got like the full 180 or 360 degree image. The reason we know a little bit about this is because we've actually worked with a bullet time rig.

We hired one for finding eases. They're really expensive. Oh, my God. Like, is it still the same technology where it's 100 cameras? Yeah, well, we couldn't afford the full 100. We got 50. Yeah, we got, like, 50 or something. We got 50 cameras because it was- you pay per camera. And we only got a deal because we said Aunty Donna would do socials

for the company that buys it out. Yeah, so Aunty Donna also filmed some stuff on it that they all use on their website. And then we, when Aunty Donna were finished, we were like, whoosh, and just jumped in there. Yeah, let's do our opening title sequence. That's so cool. But it looks cool.

I can't believe that Aunty Donna have more pull with this company than you two. Well, Aunty Donna are a successful, famous sketch group. We are underground cult favourites. We're two dipshits, yeah. I like how you referred to The Matrix as a cult hit before. Yeah. A $100 million film that made hundreds of millions. It's a cult hit.

It's inspired a cult. It's cult is the worldwide popular satellite. But it's interesting going through bullet time and researching it it's so interesting how like how that technology has kind of always been around all the thoughts of it has always been around even before cinema and film existed a very famous image of the horse in motion from the 1870s that we've all seen if you've seen the movie nope you've seen it recently it's quite prominent in there which is just a row of cameras on a track set up to record the motion and passing of time

of that horse moving across the track. And then lineage of film techniques like this are kind of like used in Sam Peckinpah's The Wild Bunch, which uses slow motion gunfights with squibs exploding. And then John Woo in his slow motion action movies of the 80s and 90s dubbed Heroic Bloodshed, like Hard Boiled and A Better Tomorrow, also use that slow motion action movies of the 80s and 90s dubbed heroic bloodshed like hard-boiled and a better tomorrow also use that slow motion technique and this kind of like blends those two

together to create bullet time it's essentially flip like a flip book kind of technique really like taking a bunch of stills a zoetrope yeah is that the thing where it's a candle in the middle and like the light spins around it and or you like spin the thing and just look through a little crack in it and you're like, okay, the horse is running. How boring was fucking entertainment back in the- I watched the movie and you two might not have heard of it because it's pretty underground. It's called 3,000 Years of Longing the other day.

I've seen it. Cult hit. In it. Have you seen it? Yeah, I've seen it. Is that what that thing is that the girl from the past who came up with great inventions? I believe she uses Zo it? Yeah, I've seen it. Is that what that thing is, that the girl from the past who came up with great inventions? I believe she uses Zoetrope, I think.

Thank you. Yeah. That's the first time I'd seen it. It was this week. What are the odds of that? Yeah, so without that, we'd have no board time. One in a million, I'd have to say. One in a freaking million.

And the other thing you kind of mentioned, Cameron, is there was a commercial, a Smirnoff vodka campaign, also directed by Michelle Gondry, that has this kind of slow motion effect of bullets flying through. Would you believe it? Bottles of vodka and stuff. But I rewatched that commercial and it looks so much like The Matrix, especially the new movie Matrix Resurrections. Resurrection, sorry. Oh my God. So sorry.

Dave. So sorry. Dave. So sorry. Dave's got a great skill in turning any movie title and you can test him at any point. Oh God. He can turn any film

into the porn parody and I think you've just done the resurrection. You've already done it. Yeah. Wow. Okay. That's exciting.

Yeah, I mean, if you think of a movie at any point during the rest of the episode, please test it out. I'm looking for a LeBrandi. Come on, Dave. Hook in. I would say for Alibrandi. Go on, Dave. Hook in.

I would say- Oh, see, now, don't- We are on Cam's turf here, Dave. It's a Sydney movie, too. Back in Melbourne, you are the man at turning films into porn. You snapped that one right up. We are on my home turf, so I did go- I'm a little bit embarrassed in front of you, to be honest.

Yeah. I would have said looking for anal badly, but whatever. That's disgusting. Yeah, I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. But this bullet time technique has been parodied countless times

by the release of the second film in the Matrix franchise, Matrix Reloaded. The bullet time effect had even been spoofed. Matrix Reloaded. The bullet time effect had even been spoofed. Dave, Matrix Reloaded. Can you do anything with that? Matrix, um, fresh loads have come. Matrix rechoded. Okay, that's better. I was going to say Matrix full loaded. Oh, that's

good too. That's good too. No, I like rechoded. Rechoded. Now, what is that movie about? I just got my dick rechoded. Rechoded. Now, what does that mean? I just got my dick rechoded, actually. Rolling time around the show. Rechoded is when you get hot dogs to the dick. I got dick lipo as soon as I got money. That was my first.

You know how people say when I got money I splashed out on a jag. When I first got money, I got my dick lipoed and then I got a re-choners. A de-choners. When they came back in the boat. When Jones was back.

I got a re-choners. When Jones came back in Vogue Yeah the Wachowski Said to Keanu Look you can be in the movie But you will have to have a chode We'll have to give you

We'll have to rechode you Dr. Chode I'm demanding a rechoding immediately They say you can only get You can only get rechoded Once in life Very dangerous That whole effect That whole spinning around effect You can only get reach-headed once in life. Very dangerous.

That whole effect, that whole spinning around effect was parodied so much. It's in everything. But it's amazing it's still being parodied. It was parodied in the most recent Space Jam film. Still. I don't know. I'm still doing Matrix. It's like a 20-year-old movie.

It's so weird, isn't it? But it's still- It's crazy, right? I haven't seen that, so maybe I'm assuming it has been. It was in everything. I remember within a year of The Matrix coming out, it was in, like, Deuce Bigalow, Mel Gigalow. There's a whole- Oh, fantastic film.

Fantastic piece of cinema. Yeah, great. Between the first two films. Deuce Bigalow. Oh, okay. Space Ram. Here we go. See what I was talking about?

That's jet lag. He's finally on our side. For a little while there, I felt like the guy had recommended a film and you're watching it with those people and everyone's going, this film sucks. That's what I felt like when I said Dave could do porn parodies. Yeah, this film sucks. Well, in between the first two Matrix films, it was parodied in 20 different movies and spoofs,

including Kung Pao Enter the Fifth. Anything to do with that? Shrek and Charlie's Angels. Oh, yeah. I think Donkey did it, didn't he? Or Princess Fiona did it. I remember seeing Shrek in the cinema and being like, how dare they mock the Matrix in this.

Anyway, the Matrix was filmed in the country Australia. A nation girt by sea and haunted by its own history that I shan't go into. Ahoy, ahoy, ahoy. Is that what you think it is?

Ahoy, ahoy, ahoy. Ahoy, ahoy. Butoy. Ahoy, ahoy. But they chose Australia for economic reasons, tax rebates, etc. Allow me to go into the taxation history of The Matrix. But it's also, being such a long way away, gave them a little bit more chance to hide away from the studio executives to get a little bit more artistic integrity and autonomy over the movie. The shooting begins with a Buddhist blessing on the set on the first day,

and Keanu's neck didn't quite fuse, so they had to rearrange a schedule to offload the physical stuff towards the end of the shoot and allow him time to heal his neck. So, yep, that's tough stuff. Do we know how he injured the neck? I don't know. Giving head. No, i think he said he slipped in the shower yeah that's what he was up to in the shower we shan't know not part of this uh many of sydney's iconic structures like the harbour bridge and the opera house are blocked in the movie with new structures hiding them so the city cannot be identified by its beautiful iconography.

Is it set in a certain time? It's set anywhere in the 1990s. It's supposed to be any city in the world, but if you are an Australian, you can spot Australian street signs, phone booths, banks. The climax of the film, you can see the Telstra logo at almost all times at the top of that skyline. No kidding.

Yeah, it's kind of fun. And especially, like, if you know you're Sydney, you know that they're shooting in the CBD. That's Martin Place. I know that's St. James Station. You know all the areas. The girl in the red dress walks by Martin Place. And all the other characters in that girl in the red dress scene all the little extras are twins they get twins to dress them up in the same costumes to kind of give you the idea of like everything's being generated and be a computer glitch yeah beautiful stuff really thoughtful

movie lots of cool ideas in the matrix yeah it just feels like a bit of a negative use of twins to me how would you use them I just feel like twins aren't a glitch. I think twins are just human beings. They are creepy, though, yeah? They're strange, especially when they talk their own language. Yeah. Alexi and I speak a twin language. We share the womb for several months making fun of Jesus.

We were dating the same woman. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Has anyone ever said that before? That might be a new bit. That might be a new bit. That might be a new bit. We shared the womb when we were dating this.

Oh, my God. That is sickening. I've had two beers. And I've had 12 when we were dating. Oh, my God. That is sickening. I've had two beers. And I've had 12 and I'm fine. Let me tell you about the most difficult sequence to shoot while making The Matrix. There's a sequence during a subway set. They had to build the subway at the old wheat silos

that are next to the Anzac Bridge, which is where I used to go drinking underage as a teenager. So I have many memories associated to the Matrix and the use of illicit illegal substances. Lacks of it. So you used to go shit yourself. Me and all my friends would take all these lacks of this and go shit underneath.

Last one to shit loses. It's a real Sydney thing. It is Sydney. We love to drop those L's, you know. That's what we say. We drop those L's and drop those trows and see what goes on. At the beginning of the shooting of this sequence, the Wachowskis were sick.

They were working during summer and they were still wearing huge coats because they had high fevers. And then because of the sequence, because in that subway scene, this is like debris has fallen everywhere and Keanu Reeves and Hugo Weavings, they have to make contact when they fight so the dust will fly off their costumes. This is one of the most intense fight scenes as well where they actually have to hit each other.

And Hugo Weavaving said, strangely, he actually prefers punching rather than receiving the punches. He said it's much harder to take the hits. I was like, yeah, brother. What do you mean? You're saying that like that's the weak thing to say. It's the most normal reaction. It's actually crazy.

A bit of a hot take. I love to throw punches, but I don't enjoy popping them. I don't like it when it comes back my way. Yeah, I don't like it when you punch me. I love to give, I cannot take it. Please, please, stop, stop, stop. Let me come in for another one. I love to eat.

I hate washing up. Him coming in and being like, I cannot wait to punch Keanu in the face. It's going to be so fun. I'm going to hit him robotic style like I'm known to do. But in this sequence as well, Chad Stahelski, who is Keanu Reeves' double, and they kind of think of this performance as a collaboration between the two actors where he fills the gaps that Keanu can't quite do. He suffers many injuries from a sequence where he is thrown up into the roof of

the subway, where he breaks his knee, breaks his ribs, and dislocates his shoulder. So, then he is replaced by another double called Darko Tuscan, who then also is injured when a hydraulic puller machine forces him through a breakable wall. Hey, just a quick sidebar on Chad Stahelski. He is a very cool dude. Very cool fella. Very cool dude. Very handsome dude.

Like, you're doubling for Keanu. You look like a babe. Yeah. Right? He's the stunt double for Keanu on this. By the second and third film, he's graduated to stunt coordinator. After that, he starts being an assistant director and a second unit director for other movies.

And then now, do you know what he does? He writes and directs the John Wick movies starring Keanu Reeves. That's sick. How cool is that? And he's in The Matrix 4, by the way. He plays a character called Chad in that, and he's Carrie AnnAnne Moss's husband. Oh, that's so cool.

That is good. He is so hot. He's a really handsome dude. Yeah, and he still does stunts and shit like that. So he looks like Keanu, but he can act and stuff. That's wild. And direct. And direct.

And Keanu's just trying to find other roles for me. Is that a plea? No, no. I mean, I've got- Maybe be a director or something. Yeah. Just go- This is my thing, dude.

This is threatened. Yeah, maybe make a franchise. Maybe go redefine action cinema. How hard do you have to be to threaten Keanu? I know. He's a really handsome guy. It's insane. Really handsome.

If you put them together, God, you have a great weekend. You're getting real horny on this episode. Yeah, you had a few beers, had a few laxatives. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth.

Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Death is in our air. This year's most anticipated series, FX's shogun only on disney plus we live and we die we control nothing beyond that an epic saga based on the global best-selling novel by james clavelle to show your true heart just to risk your life when i die here you'll never leave japan alive fx's shogun a new original series streaming february 27th exclusively on disney plus 18

plus subscription required t's and c's apply one thing that is very interesting to know as well is because the matrix is such like a big philosophical movie it's open to so many different interpretations and there's one interpretation that we should talk about before we wrap things up which is a modern take on the matrix which is the Matrix as a trans allegory. Because since the movie came out, the Wachowski siblings have both come out as trans. And in the original script of The Matrix, a very beloved character called Switch, played by Australian actress Belinda McClory, was a trans character. In the real world, the character is masculine, and when they enter the Matrix, they are a feminine character.

And that was something that was changed because, you know, people couldn't quite understand what was going on. But Lily Wachowski has discussed the film as always being about identity and the desire for transformation, but it's all coming from a closeted perspective from both sisters. Lily talks about her and Lana while writing the film, not really knowing how present their trans identities were in the back of their minds.

But she talks about existing a space where the words or terminology didn't quite exist yet and they always lived in a world of imagination and that's why they're so drawn to genre storytelling and sci-fi and fantasy. So it's kind of like the new interpretation of The Matrix is this trans allegory about their identities that they were yet to uh figure out and come come out with it's really cool yeah once you know that it's hard to like not see that when you watch the matrix now

yeah totally and if you've seen the matrix 4 they explicitly state that quite a bit in the movie there's a scene in i don't want to spoil it but there is a scene in the movie. There's a scene in the- I don't want to spoil it, but there is a scene in The Matrix 4 where people sit around and discuss what The Matrix movies are about. What? The Matrix Resurrections is kind of like Gremlins 2, the new batch, or even- It's set in a world where The Matrix exists. Really?

So it's almost like a Scream sort of thing. Kind of. Yeah, wow. And there's a bit where there's all these characters going, for me, The Matrix is about kung fu. And then another one's like, no, it's a trans allegory. And then other people say all this shit. It is one of the strangest blockbusters that has been made

in the last 20 years, The Matrix Resurrection. And good or not? I love it, personally. I really enjoyed it, too. It reminds me of Grandma's A New Batch meets New Nightmare, the Nightmare on Elm Street reboot that has the Nightmare of Elm Street existing as a franchise, but Freddy's a real guy. Really weird stuff.

You love meta stuff, don't you? I love meta. I love meta. I love going two layers deep. Yeah. And no, that's not a euphemism. That's not a- Oprah and- Roger E Oprah and Roger Ebert.

But in closing, let me tell you some final thoughts on The Matrix. In North America, The Matrix went on to become the fifth highest grossing film of 1999. After Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace, The Sixth Sense, Austin Powers, The Spy Who Shagged Me, and Toy Story 2, narrowly beating out The Mummy and Big Daddy. Holy shit. What a year. It's a hell of a year for the movies. And were they all nominated for Best Picture?

Big Daddy, yeah. I think Big Daddy did take it out there. Big Daddy, the big trophy. If I was going to guess, I would assume that Matrix was easily the biggest blockbuster of that film that year. Number five. Number five. I also want to say the same thing.

Surely, number one. And then you go, okay, Star Wars, Phantom Menace, right? Fair enough. Yeah, fair enough. Wow. Austin Powers, the guy had legs. It's an exciting time for me. I love it.

And I also love Big Daddy. And I love all those Daddy. Me too. And I love all those movies. Me too. My least favorite of them all, probably Toy Story 2. Yeah. Fuck. I can't remember what happens in the second one.

That's also a good film, but it didn't have a scuba state. Is that where Jesse comes in? Jesse comes in. Yeah, okay. I did like that one. Of course you identify with that character. You share the same name. Exactly.

But off the list. Me, I identify with Ham. Because you share the same name? Yeah. And off the list. Me, I identify with ham. Because you share the same name? Yeah. And I've got a coin slot. Okay. This guy is getting wild, guys. You're real frisky.

The Matrix won four Oscars, including editing, sound, sound effects, and visual effects. The Matrix reached its ultimate form when it was released on DVD in September of 1999 in its original aspect ratio. It was the first DVD to sell one million copies in the United States, and it was also the first DVD to sell three million copies, a record it held for a few months until gladiator beat it the ultimate matrix collection also sadly lost in the category of best menu design at the 2005 dvd exclusive awards to the star wars trilogy the matrix has become a huge success and spawned three sequels video games

and an animated anthology and each one of them is freaking awesome. And if you don't get it, you're freaking done, dude. That's all I'll say. If you don't get how good the Matrix sequels are, you are not film literate. Right. So, you think 2 and 3 are as good as 1? I think not as good as 1. They're just awesome. Because I've heard people say

they're not good. They're real good. I'm one of those people. I hate 2 and 3. I think they suck ass. They're beautiful. So, you're not film literate. No, I'm not. You're not a dunce. I're real good. I'm one of those people. I hate two and three. I think they suck ass. They're beautiful. They're really bad. No, I'm not. You're not a dunce. I'm a dunce, apparently. You're a dunce.

And I'm happy to sit here and say I'm a dunce. Are we looking at a modern day Siskel and Ebert here? Yeah. Guess which one of us fucked Oprah. And yeah, you can have two guesses at that. We share a womb for a while. Fuck us. Yes. can have two guesses at that. We share a womb for a while. Lexi, just quickly, can you just relatively quick fire, can you name

all four of the movies and Dave will then give the porn parody a quick one. The Matrix. I mean. She does tricks? Something like that. The wet chicks. We could do the gay tricks That's awesome That's great

Beautiful The Matrix Reloaded We already have one We already have one Okay The Matrix Revolutions We could do Revapotions

Something like that Oh my lord You're a nasty boy Yeah The Matrix Resurrections Well I mean The Matrix Huge Erections.

Come on. Don't forget the Animatrix. Fanna Matrix. What's Fanna? Fanny Matrix. Oh, thank you so much. I like the Fanny Matrix. Sometimes it's a two-step.

It's a two-step. Fanny Matrix. He's good. I promise you He is good I was nervous But I'm not And the boy doesn't miss

He doesn't miss That is good That would be a different movie Depending on what country You're renting Yeah That's what's exciting About that

You don't know What you're gonna get Where's this going That's exciting Where's this going Yeah That's what's exciting about that. You don't know what you're going to get. Where's this going? That's exciting. Where's this going? Yeah, that's exciting. You know, the Matrix has even spawned religions, many other philosophical studies.

What does that mean? There's a religion called Matrixism, aka the path of the one. They claim to have over, what is it? They claim to have over 1,600 members, which to have over 1600 Members, which isn't that many But still But people have estimated it Close to 300 members

But they are a Wow, okay, it's really dropping here To brag that you have 1600 And then for people to go, well, probably more like 300 actually, if we count censuses 300, but they've got 6 accounts Yeah, but there's like There's a lot of religions that have kind of merged off or branched off from Matrixism,

and they tend to believe in the idea that after death, our bodies can get uploaded into, like, a cloud or a computer or a singularity or something like that. It's now a philosophy. It's called transhumanism. A lot of people talk about it. A lot of people say that is the future, that we will eventually merge with the internet or computers or technology or robots.

It's almost a way of, like, ensuring immortality through technology. Yes. And I, for one, think it's really freaky deaky. And I think he is only deaky. I don't think it's that freaky, but it is deaky because it's that idea of, like, creating an actual afterlife out there, like actually guaranteeing an afterlife. Yeah, isn't there an episode of The Black Mirror that's sort of like that?

Yeah, there's a few things that have come out that are like, hey, what if your significant other who died could, you know, you could bring them back by turning their Facebook into a simulation of them or something. There's a show called Upload, which is that exact premise. Yeah. Who's in Upload? Nobody.

Nobody. Oh, fuck about it. Yeah, there's a very, like a very handsome man. Yeah, some hot dude. Yeah. Okay, like. But hot like not. Chris Kattan? Even hotter than Kattan. Oh, wow. But no some hot dude. Yeah. Okay, like- But hot like not- Chris Kattan?

Even hotter than Kattan. Oh, wow. But no chutz to Helski. This guy was probably played- He's probably either played or been the quarterback for a homecoming queen. 100% he has, yeah. Definitely. If that's the Frenchman's-

The prick boyfriend. He's the quarterback for a homecoming queen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's fucking hot as hell. Yeah, but not in like an interesting way. No. No. Yeah.

He's a dull hot. A dull hot. If Saved by the Bell was being made, he could have played Zach. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Zach. Zach, yeah. Totally.

Zach Braff? What's that? He's hot enough to be a Zach. Wow. Anyone called Zach is hot. Yeah. Name an ugly Zach. You can't.

Yeah, good luck. Zach Michaels? Okay, you're made up. It's a guy with school. Real fucker. We can't leave that in? Yeah, leave it in. Yeah, he's dead now.

It doesn't matter. He died. Yeah, he got real ugly. He got dead. At the very end, yeah. Just let the room show you that's the guy. He fell off a cliff and got squished. It's okay.

That's a guy made up. He doesn't exist. Anymore. Well, I for one, I only watched The Matrix again recently, like, you know, in the last couple of years, but I'm going to watch it again now. Wow. And then persist with two, three, and four.

Okay. And The Phantom Matrix as well. Yeah, you've got to chuck that Phantom Matrix on. The Phantom Matrix. Can we just get a quick, before we finish up, can I get a ranking order? Oh, wow. Okay, Matrix, then Animatrix, then I'll go Matrix Resurrections,

then I'll go Matrix Reloaded, then Matrix Rechauders. And then I'll say Matrix Revolutions is my least favourite one, unless I were to count the cut scenes from Enter the Matrix, the video game. Okay. Which are filmed with the real actors such as Jada Pinkett Smith. I asked you a question that I didn't realise until you were answering it. I wouldn't understand the answer.

Can you just give it to me in numbers? So you go one is one. 1.5 animated version. Is two. That's number two. Then I would say four, then two, then three. Okay. And that's my pin number, so don't try it.

So Cam was right when he said the second and third ones were duds. They're not duds. They're misunderstood and misinterpreted. You ranked them last. Yeah, but still. Something had to be last. Thank you so much, Jess. It's limited.

You're right. Exactly. If you made me rank every film of all time, they would do well. You put 1.5 ahead of them. Let's be honest. Yes, because it's an interesting animation. It's got nine different stories, all chronicling different adventures set in the Matrix universe by different animation artists.

The funny thing is- South Park guys. Yeah, look at the South Park guys. Family Guy did one. One of the second or third ones is one of the- Futurama did one. With the most famous scene where there's a lot of Hugo Weaving. Oh, yeah, the second one, I think.

That's number two, right? And there's just, like, too much Hugo Weaving. There's heaps of Hugo Weaving. Is that possible? There's, like, 15. Oh, there's never too much. Yeah, especially if you're a freaking Screen Australia, backing every Hugo joint.

Thank you for the funding for finding me, by the way, Screen Australia. My question is, do we know if they're going to make more of it? Probably not. Well, the idea was that Warner Brothers said, we're making the fourth one. And then they went to the Wachowskis and said, good news, we're going to do the fourth one. And the Wachowskis said, we don't want to do it. And they said, well, we're going to do it anyway.

And then, so then one of the Wachowskis was like, well, I guess I'll just fucking do it then if you're going to do it. Oh, are you kidding? So, only one of the Wachowskis did four and it's it then if you're going to do it. No kidding. So it's only one of the Witch House he's did for, and it's about how they're being forced to do another Matrix movie. That's why they're talking about the Matrix. It's also quite- The premise of the movie is that Neo is a video game designer

who made a bunch of video games called The Matrix, one, two, and three, and he's being forced to make a fourth one. And they keep on calling it the reboot and stuff. They use very language that is real. They say the word Warner Brothers in the movie. They go, Warner Brothers is doing another

Matrix. When they say Warner Brothers, I felt a skip in my heart. I burst out laughing. It's pretty wild. I couldn't believe it. I was like, what a stupid... You ranked it number three. I didn't say skipping a heart was bad. That's almost like in Looney Tunes, Back in Action with Brendan Fraser,

where there's a couple of characters who are the Warner Brothers. That's such a beautiful bit of cinema. God, Warner Brothers, before you tell him that, that's too much information. Ah, that's an old joke too. That's good stuff. Yeah, Zach would tell that to me in the old schoolyard. Rest in peace. That's for you, brother.

I've been having... Oh, hell, we're going to have to cut some mischief here. Oh, limbo. Whoa. Well, thank you so much for joining us. We're so excited for Finding Yeezus. Me too. Tell us a little bit more about it, where we can see it,

when it's coming out, how many episodes, all that sort of stuff. We'd love to know. Okay, so are you guys heard of Aunty Donna? No. Okay, so they're a cult... Okay, allow me to know. Okay. So, are you guys heard of Aunty Donna? No. Okay. So, they're a cult- Okay, allow me to begin my report. They're a cult sketch group from Australia who have come to international acclaim via the medium of Netflix and YouTube and live performance.

The big three. Yeah. They tackle the big three. And they're producing this for us. So, it's on their Grouse House YouTube channel, which is a YouTube channel they run for stuff that's not Auntie Donna. Yeah, home for new Australian comedy content. And this is a documentary series. We've been working hot on the trail of this mystery about Kanye Quest 3030, a video game that we believe was used as a recruitment tool for a new age cult.

Not unlike the cult of the Matrixists, which is about transhumanism, about finding immortality through the internet. So, we're trying to find out who the creator of this game is. And who the cult leader is and whether it's all real or whether it's all a bunch of hogwash. There's six episodes. They come out every Monday from September 26th, and it's very, very fucking cool and fun. It's cool. Yeah, it's very cool.

It's officially cool, guys. It's an officially cool show. All right. Because the three of us are big fans of the first two seasons independently. We didn't even make each other listen. We all individually listen and enjoy. People can listen to those still in podcasts. Yes, yes.

But this is a video series. It is a new mystery. But people can listen to Finding Drago, Finding Desperado to get pumped up for Finding Jesus. But is it true that what some people say is it's very manufactured, the way you do it is you know where you're ending up and then you work back from there? Or is that a lie? You know,'s uh a little bit of movie matt i'll i'll pull back the curtain

and reveal to you that uh it's all real whoa yeah none of it's what we hear and what we see is your journey yeah and as you're on that journey there's maybe two times where we know in advance what's happening before we film. But for the most part, it's all happening for real. Yeah, and like every interview, that's all real and crazy stuff and we don't know what the people are going to say. We have ideas of what we hope they're going to say. Well, yeah, that's the thing because you have to submit scripts to Screen Australia,

which is weird because it's a documentary. Yeah. So, they go, all right, congratulations, you're doing it. We need to see six scripts. And we're like, what do you mean? So, we had to write a fictional version of what this show was going to be. What we thought it would be like. And submit it to them and go, here's what we think will happen. And then, of course, none of that shit happened.

Yeah. But so, we did have an idea in our head of what we hoped might happen. But I would say, like, you know, every day was a surprise. Every day something freaking crazy happened. It kept going in different directions. We had to book flights that we didn't know we had to book. Lots of crazy stuff. Oh, sure.

What's the furthest place you ended up in? We went to the North Pole. City Closers behind it. Yeah, we had to find a guy in a red suit. Won't say food. Big old beard. Big beard, big belly. How jolly waslly was he oh one of the jolliest guys i ever did see and yeah he knew when i was sleeping hey i want this dollars on yeah the cool

list awesome documentary series actually we were going to show you guys the first episode before we recorded this but I just realised We forgot to do that Wait can we still watch it later? Yeah if you want Maybe we'll watch it before we get to everyone's favourite section of the show Oh yes Do we have to do that?

No you don't have to do it But before we Like the listeners at home for them it's just a bloody blink of the eye A twinkle of the nose But for us it might be Before we get there I just love bloody blink of the eye, a twinkle of the nose. But for us, it might be some moments. Before we get there, I just love- So what's the new show called? Finding Yeezus.

I'd love to hear- Before we go on, I'd love to hear the porn parody name. It's got to be Finding Penis. Surely. Surely. That's awesome. He did it. Thank you so much, Lexi and Cam, for joining us.

Dave, put us home. Hey, thank you so much. We'll be posting all about the show. Wow. Thank you so much. We love you both. We love you guys. That's yours to take.

Thank you so much. I plan to take it and make the porno parody myself. With Screen Australia's funding. To help me find that penis. Well, now it is time for everyone's favourite section of the show. We've just had a quick break, watched the first episode of Finding Yeezus, had a lovely time.

We've sent Alexi and Cam off with a goodie bag of Do Go On lollies and merchandise that we haven't been able to sell, and they look chuffed as. But, yeah, that was fun. What a funny show. And I'm in. I'll tell you that for nothing. You're in?

I'm in. Okay. Thank you for telling me that for free because I did not want to pay for that information. Yeah, I'm hooked. I'm absolutely hooked as well. They're the masters of hooking you in. Yeah.

Every series they've done so far. They are so funny. I love having them done so far. They are so funny. I love having them on the show. I laugh so much. My face still hurts. So let's get this 30 to 40 minutes out of the way so I can go rest my face. I need to ice my cheeks.

Oh, ice those cheeks. Both pairs. Both sets of cheeks. And pair of cheeks. Is that something? Yeah, I guess so. That's the kind of phrase you'd use? So this section of the show is where we have to thank our supporters.

These are the people who make the show happen. They keep the lights on and the recorder on and all these other things on. They keep us on. They keep us on. Yeah, without them, I'm off. Yeah, you're right off. They keep us on. Yeah.

Yeah, without them, I'm off. Yeah. You're right off. So, in this section, we thank these great people who support us at patreon.com slash dugongpod or dugongpod.com. And there's a bunch of different rewards people can get. Jess, very briefly, what are some of those things they can get? Very briefly. Yes.

They can get early access to tickets to live shows. They can get three bonus episodes per calendar month. Can you believe it? Wow. They get access to a Facebook group, the nicest corner of the internet, and they get to vote on a bunch of topics. So they literally get to control us in this one element of our lives, which is writing reports for this podcast. And it feels good.

It feels good. I like – I'm a Virgo, which is writing reports for this podcast. And it feels good. It feels good. I like, I'm a Virgo, so I love to be in control. But it is nice every now and then to just relinquish just a tiny little bit of control to somebody else. So funny, because you two were born quite close together and you're a Virgo. I'm a Virgo. And Dave's a Virgin.

Yes, that's right. No, weird. Different dialect. Okay. Yeah. Just that one day virgin. Yes, that's right. Isn't that weird? Different dialect. Okay. Yeah. Just that one day apart. Born in different places, yeah. That's why Dave and I are so incredibly different.

That's why Dave and I just can't seem to get along. Yeah. It sucks. No matter what I try. Keep trying to bring you together. We are unpleasant to each other. She's violent. First thing we like to do in this section of the show is the fact,

quote or question section, which has a little jingle. It goes something like this. Fact, quote or question. He always remembers the ding. She always remembers the jingle. And I say that now because Jess complained that I don't compliment her for remembering things. That's how competitive it is.

You can't compliment Dave unless you also compliment me. And in this part of the show, we read out some fat quotes or questions. These great supporters are on the Sidney Schoenberg level or above. And as you could probably guess, they give us a fact or quote or a question, sometimes a suggestion or a brag or all sorts of things. They also get to give themselves a title. And I don't read these out so i read them out the first one we've got

this week is from derrick brigham who is uh the giver of cursed blessings oh dear uh derrick's asking a question this week writing magic is struck suddenly no matter what food you eat it tastes like one thing the The same thing every time. You must choose what that one thing is. What do you pick? The texture and temperature stay the same as whatever the original food was. You guys having deja vu here? For example, if you choose burger, ice cream would taste like a cold, creamy burger.

If I was stuck, and I always ask people to answer their questions if they ask one and derek writes if i was stuck with this curse i would pick the taco bell cheesy gordita crunch oh and ate mainly boiled chicken and steamed broccoli turn the curse into a blessing by being the healthiest eater in the world yeah i'm getting deja vu we definitely had this before have we had this exact? I remember the cheesy gordita crunch even. Yeah, and turning the curse into a blessing. Yeah, have I?

Yes. No, I think Derek has submitted to someone twice about a month apart. Derek. Derek is desperate for an answer. Are you trapped in a curse as well, Derek? Wow. If you're trapped in a curse and you can only ask a podcaster one question, what question would you ask each month?

I don't remember what I said, though. I probably said bread or something. You make everyone say bread. Oh, that's clever. Really? I love bread. Oh. Gosh, what did I say?

Chocolate? Chocolate, yeah. I think I'd get over chocolate. It's your choice. You can have whatever you want. But yeah, I'd get over chocolate. But I feel like I'd get over chocolate. It's your choice. You can have whatever you want. But yeah, I'd get over chocolate. But I feel like I'd get over anything. Yeah, that's true.

I'm going to say, I'm just going to steal Derek's answer there. Yeah, I think there's something smart in that because you know what? Cheesy gordita crunch. I don't even know what it is. Oh, it's good stuff. Great. Yeah, I would make it something like something really delicious. But then I would just eat anything and everything

because I don't, yeah, I have restrictions in what I eat or what I, there's a lot of things I don't like. Right. So then I'd just, I'd become, I would relieve my own anxiety around food because sometimes I'm like, oh no, I don't like any of this food. I'd just be able to eat anything. Yes.

But it would taste like something delicious. That's good. That's good. Yeah, we're going to turn your curse into a blessing. Yeah. Thank you very much, Derek, for blessing us with that curse. Thank you. The next one comes from Drew Forsberg, a.k.a. Lineal Mediocre Weight Champion.

And Drew is offering us a suggestion, which is frozen custard. Now, I don't know what that is in relation to. It's a suggestion. That's all it says? That's the complete suggestion. That's fantastic. Frozen custard. I love custard.

And do you reckon frozen would be like an ice cream kind of consistency? That does sound good. It sounds like a creamy. Yeah. Almost. I'm imagining this relates to something we talked about in the past. And yeah, if that's a real thing, Drew, I'm on board. I want to try it. I've got a little definition here.

Okay, hit us. Rosen custard is a cold dessert similar to ice cream, but made with eggs. Sorry, Jess. In addition to cream and sugar, it's usually kept at a warmer temperature compared to ice cream and typically has a denser consistency. Sorry, Jess. In addition to cream and sugar, it's usually kept at a warmer temperature compared to ice cream and typically has a denser consistency. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, I wonder if it's somewhere between like mousse-y, like a thick mousse kind of thing. Yeah. I'd give that a crack. You get it at Woolies and there's one that says, you can't fake the smooth, creamy richness of our frozen custard made with fresh milk, cream and eggs. Made in Australia.

Okay. So is it like a vanilla kind of flavour? Yeah. Classic. Classic. Interesting. Great. Yeah, I'm taking that as Drew is just saying,

hey, here's a suggestion. Give that a crack. Give it a crack. And I will. I will. I will. Me too. Dave, let me know when you do and just get two, please.

Can we just get a tub like this afternoon? Let's go get a tub. Bring it back. Three-way. Three-way tub. Let's get a tub. Fantastic.

You want to split a tub? Hey, you guys up for a tub? Yeah. Tub for the table? One tub, three spoons. Thank you. Tub for the table. It's like chips for the table.

Can you just get a tub for the table? Get a tub for the table. Three spoons. Yeah, we're still Could you just get a tub for the table? Get a tub for the table. Three spoons. Yeah, we're still browsing the menu. Just get us a tub. Get a tub to start. Yes, we'll have a tub to start. Thank you.

Fight us over with a tub. For appetiser, we'll have a tub. Yeah, a couple of... Get us a tub each. Yeah. But still... Gasol, a tub each. Three spoons.

Not one spoon. Fantastic suggestion. Thank you, Drew. Three tubs, one spoon. The next one... That's. Thank you, Drew. Three tubs, one spoon. The next one. That's fun stuff there, Dave. The next one comes from Gary J from the UK. And Gary J's title is,

If you don't know me by now, you will never, never, never know me. And Gary's also offering a suggestion, writing, Ahoy, hoy. I'm writing this the day after the live book cheat episode in London. Great to meet you, Gary. We'll see you again, Gary J. And hang out, have a drink. Great crew there.

Please continue. I just wanted to say I bloody loved it. Nat, my wife, couldn't make it, so I was going on my own. But I met up with what I thought was a few other patrons at the pub pre-show it ended up being loads i was so nervous before walking in but everyone there was so nice and lovely to each other even though most of us had never met before sorry for rambling on i just wanted to suggest people join this facebook group as patreons and be part of the nicest corner of the internet. That's really nice. Isn't that nice?

It was lovely seeing pictures that day of everybody meeting up. That was so nice to see. Because by the time, so what they did is they met before the show for a drink and a meal at a pub across the road. Then they saw the show, hung around it, then afterwards went to the bar upstairs where I met them all. And by that time, it did not feel like a group of people that didn't know each other.

That's fantastic. It was like walking into like a a group of people that didn't know each other. That's fantastic. It was like walking into like a coach tour or something. They all knew each other. And yeah, it was awesome. It was so nice. Really nice. So nice. Gary J finishes by saying,

ta-ta for now. Ta-ta, Gary. Ta-ta for now. I'm under hot. And the final one comes, that is what that's from, right? Ta-ta for now. That's the succulent Chinese meal

No he says Ta ta and farewell Ta ta Sorry That is the second time That has come up for me today The succulent Chinese meal video man Only the two times

Comes up for me Half a dozen every morning By this time of the day At least a half day What was the I don't remember exactly I was I was walking to

Get some lunch With my colleagues And My good friend You can name us Matt and Dave Matt and Dave And then my other friend

Michael Hing was there And he made a reference to I don't remember exactly Which line he said now I was wondering Who that was That was tagging along with us Yeah

Sorry about him I can't remember Did we have a said now. I was wondering who that was that was tagging along with us. Yeah, sorry about him. I can't remember. Did we have a succulent Chinese meal for lunch? No. I feel tata for now. Was that tiga, TTFN? Oh, it was. From Pooh Bear.

Oh, Pooh Bear. It was, I see you know your judo well. Oh, fantastic. And then I just said, ah, yes. There was a tweet very recently that we got tagged in, like because that video went viral again. If you don't know it, look it up. Type in Sucking That Chinese Meal on YouTube.

And you're welcome. Enjoy the next three minutes of your life. And someone tweeted it saying, oh, I need my favourite Aussies or something to comment on this. Have you ever seen this? And we were like, yes, we reference it most weeks. And they were like, oh, what episode? And I said about three dozen of them.

Because at first I was like, oh, that's funny. They're, you know, going, oh. I thought it was a joke. It probably normally only comes up in everyone's favourite section of the show, though. True. So some people might not. Oh, right. There's a small percentage of people who don't listen to this bit of the show.

Crazy. Yeah. And the last one this week comes from Jacob Curry, aka the most major dick bong. The most major dick bong? Yeah. Okay. And Jacob is asking a question.

The question is, you have to compete in one Olympic sport. The better you do, the more money goes to charities of your choice. Who cares? Up to $2 billion in Australian Ds. That's dollars. Okay. That's for gold. What are you competing in?

See, this is hard. I had a conversation recently on my recent holiday. We were talking about you could be on any Olympic sport. You're going to the Olympics, what sport are you playing? So, we were going for things that we think would be fun. Okay. But in this case, if you're doing it to earn the most amount of money for charity, then you probably want to choose something you're good at.

Yes. Right? But I ain't good at anything. But I would – my strategy – I don't know if the thing that I'm best at would be the thing that I'm best at relative to the best in the world. Totally. That's what I'm thinking as well. So I think that my best option, maybe all of our best option,

is going for a sport that you can fluke on your day. Something like shooting. You know, anyone can pull a trigger. Yeah. Shoot me, you got a trigger finger. And if it did, she even better. Yeah. And then.

I don't think you get to just get a semi-automatic Maybe fluke it once But I think it's like, you know You've got to shoot multiple targets Yeah, that's right So you are unlikely to fluke, what? 20 in a row or so But still a better chance of that

Than running 100 metres fast You can't fluke that What about like a team sport Where I know You're letting him down a bit Sitting on the bench You're on the bench Or even if you're on for a little bit for like European handball or something. I just never get the ball.

That's a good point. What's a big team sport like hockey maybe? Yeah. Okay. Hockey. Volleyball. Like rugby we'd all die. I mean, I would have said basketball anyway.

But again, I'm not, I'm nowhere near the Olympic standards. But you're a good depth on the bench. You could come in and shoot a couple of big threes. Yeah, and then I just walk off. As the clock's ticking down at the end of each quarter, they send you on for a Hail Mary. Yeah, as long as none of the opposition defend me because they'd be two foot taller than me.

You'd shoot it into their face. Yeah, every time i can't get it over um i think that would be my best option i mean you know i'm i'm fine at basketball okay i'm gonna say judo oh yeah okay i see you know your judo well i reckon that i could fluke it and just like pin pin like an 800 Oh, no, I've got my answer now. Yeah. Speed skating. I'm going to win Olympics.

I'm going to go for the Bradbury method. Hang at the back. Hang back. Play for luck. Hang at the back. Three laps behind everyone else. Yeah. And I just, yeah.

The trouble would be that I have to not fall over before the end myself, even with no one bumping into me. I guess a good call with winter winter like maybe luge yeah somebody just falling down a hill um but also i guess there's a there's a there's another layer of questions i want to ask which is like do we have time to prepare oh yeah you know like if i could go into a year-long full-time training. Because like, for example, my answer originally was going to be the European handball, but I've realized I don't even know the rules. Yeah.

Okay. Do you have time to learn? I think I've got an even better one. One of those horse ones. The horse does all the work. You're just sitting on. You get the best horse in the world, you can win gold probably. You're right.

Yeah. Are you good on horses though? I mean, I can sit on a horse yeah okay great and say and i assume that's all it is yeah if the horse is trained well enough yeah all right it'll just know did you just google easiest olympic sports i absolutely have and these are the top 10 indoor volleyball okay do you have to wear the tiny bikini and the indoor volleyball? Or do they get to wear shorts? Isn't that a large short?

That's fun. I think they might have finally changed that rule as well about the beach one as well, have they? Because there was a big protest about it. It was because it's silly. What else is there? Number one is alpine skiing. In what fucking universe is that the easiest? I've never been skiing in my life. Is that cross-country skiing? What's alpine? Isn't all skiing alpine skiing. In what fucking universe is that the easiest? I've never been skiing in my life.

Is that cross-country skiing? What's alpine? Isn't all skiing alpine skiing? Oh, that's a good point. Apart from water skiing. Curling! Oh, yeah. Do they do lawn bowls?

Oh, is that Commonwealth? No, it's Commonwealth, yeah. That's another one you could probably fluke a few good shots. Yeah. If you're in the teams. Get a few pots. I get the feeling whoever wrote this article is a good skier because they've also included ski jumping.

Yeah, that's what it is. No, I'd break every bone in my body before I made it to the ramp. You'd die. Very hard to fluke a good triple deke or whatever. Yeah. They've said table tennis, but no, those people, they're freaks. Not the way they play. I wouldn't even see the fucking blue.

They'd be like, wait, have we started yet? No, yeah, you've lost. I guess the lesson here is that none of the olympic sports are easy yeah that's that's surprising but i mean show me olympians who could host a podcast that's a good you know what i mean like we all have things to contribute yeah that's exactly very difficult looks easy like in the olympics podcasting looks easy well anything done well looks easy yeah that's the that's the trick the trick. That's why people think driving is easy because I do it so well. You do it so well.

But can you do it with the best? Yeah. The other thing about the horse riding is like really old people do it. So that's probably my best chance there too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Great. Get a bit of longevity as well.

Yes. All right. Great question. That was a good question. Thank you to Jacob, Gary,ary drew and derek for their facts quotes and questions and suggestions uh and the next thing i'd like to do is thank a few more of our great supporters just when we comes up with a bit of a game based on the topic yes do you have something some thoughts here matrix related um cool i all i could think of

earlier so i'm open to suggestions and I know this is usually my thing, but I have been struggling with it lately. The only thing I could think of was what colour pill they take. Oh, it's the same thing. But like it could be any colour. It doesn't have to just be red and blue. So blue makes you forget? No, it could be like-

But that's what I mean, the colour. So one, red makes you- I forget which one's which. Red opens up your mind. Blue makes you forget. That's right, because I mean, the colour. Oh, I see. So one, red makes you... I forget which one's which. Me too. Red opens up your mind. Blue makes you forget. That's right, because I say the wrong one. And then we've got nine other colours,

and what do they do when you take them? Yeah, great. All right, if I can kick us off, I'd love to thank, from Bournemouth in Great Britain, it's Daisy Mowles. Daisy Mowles has taken the purple pill. Oh, what does the purple pill do, Dave? It makes you join D12, the Eminem rap group famous for their early 2000 song, Purple Pills.

I wonder if that's much like the Olympic event where you're just on the bench. I could stand at the back of D12. That's a good question. If you had to join one super rap group, which one would it be? I'd just do a bit of hyping every now and then. Yeah, for sure? That's a good question. If you had to join one super rap group, which one would it be? I'll just do a bit of hyping every now and then. Yeah, for sure. That's a good one. Purple peel for Daisy.

I'd also love to thank from Leighton Buzzard in Great Britain. It is Moutaz Walsiak. Great name, great location. Leighton Buzzard. Never heard of that, but I love it. No. Mout's Yellow. Yellow pill.

And it makes for like a limited time, it makes your piss gold. Whoa. And what colour does your piss normally pop? Hang on a second. Is it like gold colour or? No, like as in, okay, so you, it comes out in liquid form still. It's not painful. Okay.

It comes out, but then you need to like piss into, basically you've got to save your piss. Right, you're like the goose who pissed the golden piss. Right, and so your piss then, after like a couple of minutes, it's solid gold. Right, but when it comes out. So you could piss into a mould and make a little gold figurine or something. Or just like piss into some Tupperware.

So, you're pissing liquid gold and then it's going to... I just thought you were saying the colour of your piss would be gold. Well, I mean, it will be. Yes, well, yes. But it turns into like actual gold and so then you could sell that. That's the first time you discover that you've got that affliction. You go to the doctors, aren't you? Well, you're ruining a toilet, aren't you?

Because it gets solid in the bowl. Oh, yeah. You're ruining it or you're increasing its value. You've now got the most expensive toilet in the world. You're welcome. I'm sorry. You wouldn't want to piss on a gold toilet? Well, just remember, you can always piss in my toilet.

Dave doesn't deserve your piss. How do you think you got your golden tonsils? Someone pissed down my throat? Also, I'm thinking about how liquid piss... Not someone, but in particular it was... Mateusz. Mateusz. That's a fantastic name.

It's just a different version of Matthew. Yeah, that makes sense. Got a, so, liquid piss gold. But it's not forever. It's not like you're going to have to be, like, holding on, like, every time you need to go to the bathroom, you're like, okay, great. What am I going to piss into this time to make it into gold? Like, it's, you know, it's a few weeks or whatever,

or maybe a month and that way you've got some time to really set yourself up for life with your gold piss. Fantastic. And it's not molten. It's not burning you to get it out. No, no, no. It's just comfortable.

It feels like a normal stream of urine. This isn't one of those blessing curses, Dave. This is just a blessing. Just a blessing. Okay, thank goodness for that. And also imagine, you know, like, I'm busting out of the toilet, but I'm on a busy train. You normally can't piss because you get your piss everywhere.

But now people will be like, please piss. Please piss in my hands. Piss in my hands. Piss in my bag. See, you know. They'd like pour out their coffee cup. Piss into this. You can piss wherever you like.

They'd like pour out their coffee cup and piss into this. You can piss wherever you like. Yeah. Finally from me, I'd love to thank from Merriam in Kansas in the United States, Jen Agina. What colour pill, Matt? I reckon lime green. Oh, yeah, beautiful. A lime green pill.

And the lime green pill lets you fly for half an hour. Wow, okay. Take the red pill and you'll know the truth about the rabbit hole. Take the blue pill, you won't know what's going. Take this green pill, you can fly for a bit. Just for a bit. I'm picking the green pill. It's not even far enough that you could get far.

Or you can fly real fast. Okay, how fast are we talking? Around the world and back. In half an hour? Yeah. So I could like pop to London, it would take me like a couple of minutes Yeah, exactly Wow Exactly

Okay, and how much, like, can you buy these pills? No, you've got to see Morpheus Yeah, yeah You've got to But could he give you a couple so you could have like a return, I could like go to London, spend some time around Europe and then come back? Really will depend on Morpheus's mood. Because the airfares are the most expensive bit. So if I could just have, if you could get them in pairs, that'd be good.

Oh, yeah. Then what if I want to take a friend? Can I get four pills? Well, how about you split them, you know, half? You just say, because it's not. Yeah, you're right. Half an hour, you have 15 minutes to get there easy. Yeah, great.

Yeah. I'm just thinking about the fatal flaw in Morpheus' plan. If I was Neo in the movie, he'd say, which pill would you take? And I'd say, I can't swallow pills. Right. They get stuck. Do you have them in a jube? Do you have a soluble pill?

What if I, Dave, what if I took the pill for you and then I pissed it into your mouth? That would be great. Would that help? I imagine Morpheus is like, it's the only other way. We can't crush it or make it into a gummy. Because he's for, you either have to take one or the other. He won't just let you go. I'd be like, well, sorry, mate.

You're going to have to force it down there. Yeah, sorry, mate. I guess I'm just your sidekick now. And they wouldn't work as like a suppository? Yeah, I could ask that. Would you shove this up my ass, please, Morpheus? Morpheus, please. I'm a bit scared to do it myself, but I

trust you. You look like a doctor. Please. Look at those glasses. I trust you. Can I thank some people? Please do. I would love to thank from Kent in Ohio Oh, God's country Shannon Burns Shannon Burns

It's the orange pill Oh, what's the orange pill do? It makes everything taste like grapes Oh Which grapes? Red or green? Green No one's picking that No one's picking that.

No one's picking that. What have you ever been great for? I love grapes. You've just been offered the power of flight. I'm going back to that question before of like everything makes everything taste like one thing. Maybe grapes. Oh, here we go. I've got my market covered. I love grapes.

Yum. You can fly the half way. Enjoy your grapes as you fly for 24 hours to London. True. Yeah. You get 30 minutes of flight or grape forever. Enjoy your grapes as you fly for 24 hours to London. True. Yeah. You get 30 minutes of flight or grape forever. That's better value.

Yeah, that's true. That is true. Yum. Yes, the orange peel. Shannon, take it. I love grapes. Oh, have you ever tried like the fairy floss grapes? No.

No. What does that mean? They taste like fairy floss. Have they like crossbred fairy floss? Yeah, they've done something messed up with them, but I don't care. They're delicious. Finally, science is trying to solve the real problems. Yeah. Yeah.

Grapes don't taste like I want them to. Who else would you like to thank? Cotton candy. That's the same thing. I know, but I just, in case Americans are like, well, what? We call it fairy floss. That's the same thing. I know, but I just, in case Americans are like, well, what? We call it fairy floss. It's adorable. I would also love to thank from Swindon in Great Britain.

Oh, wonderful. Oh, lovely. I don't know where Swindon is, but I bet they sound like that. Oh, lovely. Oh, nice. Last night I had a turn at raw. Oh, how nice. Last night I had a turn at raw.

I would love to thank somebody who speaks exactly like that, Lily Morley. Lily Morley. Oh, hello. I'm Lily Morley. From old Swindon town. Toppits a bag. And I like it. People don't think we're making fun.

That's a beautiful accent. Gorgeous. And in fact. That's a tribute. You can actually take the turquoise pill. Yes. And transform your accent. Wow. Into that very swindon accent.

I'm picking that pill. I don't care what else comes up. I don't care what else comes up. I want to sound that sexy. I'm picking that pill. I don't care what else comes up. I don't care what else comes up. I want to sound that sexy. I think it would really benefit my radio career. Welcome back to Triple J. People would love that. So Morpheus goes, take the turquoise pill and you'll sound like Lily Morley.

Lily Morley from Swindon. How lovely. Thanks,on. How lovely. Thanks, Lily, and sorry. And finally for me, I would love to thank from Milwaukee. Oh, wow. Alex Spore. Alex Spore. What color pill, Matt?

Brown pill. The brown pill, which is chocolate flavored for starters. So it is delicious. You've got a brown pill. Oh, the brown pill. Which is chocolate flavoured for starters. Thank goodness. So it is delicious. But what it does is it means you don't need to wear hats anymore. Great, because I look terrible in hats. Right, but you get all the benefits of like the shade of a hat. You get the shade of the hat.

Really? Yeah, but you don't have to wear that. You just get sun protection. So you can like jump off a yacht into the ocean, not worrying about your hat falling off. No. Wow. Yeah, because hats, I love them.

I look dumb in them. I mean, that's not the only reason people wear hats. Or is your hair not as affected by the elements? Oh, yeah. Because that, give me that fucking pill. Okay. You want that one i'll take that what else is that what else is good for a hat it shows that you're always showing your team

support you don't have to put your hat on but they everyone still knows you go to the saints you don't have to remember to take it off when you go to a place that's a bit sacred that's true yeah everyone's like oh sorry i've offended you i forgot to take my hat off don't worry about it never had one if you're having a meal with an old person, they're like, no, hat's at the table. And then the reverse, isn't there something where you have to wear a hat in some time period?

Yeah, like if you're in Guns N' Roses, you've got to put a hat on. Because God can't see the top of your head or something like that. Give him that. That was funny. You're in Guns N' Roses, you've got to wear a hat.

You've got to put a hat on. That's good stuff. But they don't need to anymore. Slash can finally... Let those locks flow. Yeah. No one knows what he looks like under there. Wow.

The Edge. It's a game changer for The Edge. Oh, The Edge. Wow. Yeah. Incredible stuff. Take the brown pill. Do you want to thank some people, D-Dot?

Hey, I'd like to thank... Thank you so much. From York now. From York, we've got Becky Harrison. York in the UK. I remember in our lead show people say york posh but we also have those gentlemen vikings remember oh yes huge gentlemen viking they were delightful there's a big delightful man viking museum there i believe yeah or am i thinking of bath no it's york bath is where the baths were

yes do you remember that do you remember when we went to the bath? And Bill Bryson gave us the tour. And you drove up a one-way street? No, I drove through a pedestrian mall that was set up for the Christmas nativity. I'm like, oh, there's Jesus. Jesus. Got to get off this road. Dave got confused.

He heard it was called a mall, so he mauled a crowd of people with his car. That's funny. And we wish them well. Becky Harrison, York. Great stuff. What color's big in York, though? Yolk. Yolk.

Yolk orange. Yolk orange. It's different to yellow and orange. It's yolk orange. It's yolk orange. So it's sort of halfway between a yellow and an orange. Is that right? Oh, Matt, you don't get it. No, I don't get it. And it's sort of halfway between a yellow and an orange Is that right? Oh Matt you don't get it And it's different to gold as well

Yeah and I don't eat eggs so I get it Alright let's come up with a different colour then I like it Take the yolk pill It gives you like a protective buffer around you Like you're in an egg Oh that's good So no one can hurt you uh but no one can get

close to you either yeah which is probably for the best so there's pros and cons i can't hurt you yeah and that's more important you've got an ever being vulnerable yeah i enjoy that ever be vulnerable becky well i don't know if becky's choosing that one i still think she's taking the lime green pill and flying to London and back, which is a pretty short flight from York. Yeah, honestly, I wouldn't bother. It seems like a bit of a waste of that. Tiniest nibble.

You could go anywhere in the world and you just go down the road, essentially. I know in the UK they don't. Oh, they hate to travel. They hate to travel. So maybe that would be convenient for you. But honestly, come to Australia. It's beautiful. It's just very far away. Yeah, pop travel. So maybe that would be convenient for you. But honestly, come to Australia. It's beautiful. It's just very far away.

Yeah, pop over. Pop over. Have a pop. I would next like to thank from Cam Loops in Canada. It is Tim Livingston. Oh, I presume. I presume. I was also thinking that.

There's so many colors we haven't used Like blue Or red But they exist They're the best With good reason What about pink? Oh pink See Matt that was a different colour Like that very good

Pink makes you impervious to wedgies Oh And how often are wedgies coming up in your day-to-day? Well, if you've lived a life looking like this, you've been... Like a nerdling. Yeah, you've been wedgied. The pink pill, but also, this is great,

it's also a self-defense pill. Okay. Because if someone gives you a wedgie, they get a wedgie. So you feel nothing and you go, harder. It's like there's a mirror in your pants. And they're confused at first. They go, what?

He must be wearing some sort of strange underpants. I'll keep pulling and they, oh, oh, I'm bleeding. Yeah, and they split themselves in half. Yeah, exactly. And that's why it's pink because they're wearing tidy whities with the blood mixed in. They're pinky winkies. They're now pinky winkies. Good on you, Tim.

Take the pink pill. I implore you. And finally for me, I'd like to thank from Grand Rapids in, I believe, Michigan. Is that right? It is M. M. The last classic colour probably we haven't done is black or white. Although some people would say...

They're not colours. If you were one of the real cool kids at my apartment Look at what colours, they're shades They're actually shades Oh, they're shades But I'm talking about these It's a black and white pill Much like the short-lived chocolate treat

And they were called like zigzags or something Oh, so it's not a cereal No, no, it was like a packet of chocolates I don't remember those at all. Sounds delicious, but... What does that do, Dave? What does the black and white pill do? The black and white pill, it gives you access to food from your childhood that no longer exists.

Whoa. Country mints. Anything you want. The original Milo biscuit. It was so good. What? A Milo biscuit? It was a Milo biscuit and it came in like a tray, like a little packet of like, you

know how you get mini Kit Kats in a multi-pack and they're in their own little packet? Do you know what I'm talking about? Kind of. Kind of like that size, the size of maybe a credit card. Okay. But then there'd be five in a tray. Yeah, right. Milo biscuit.

But then they came out with Milo bars and no one gave a shit about the biscuit. But I can never go back and taste them. Oh, disappointing. Unless I have the black and white pill. Yum. Yeah, I'd have country mints. They were amazing and delicious. They were a road trip staple.

Country mints. Yeah, they were classic. Amazing. Loved them. Can't find them anymore. Country mint. I cannot. I'm trying to Google what that snack was.

Someone will tell me. This is much like a few weeks ago when I couldn't remember the phrase turnkey property. I'm still not sure that's what I was thinking of. Right. Didn't scratch the itch for you? No. I reckon there's a good 20 or 30 people who've gotten in contact with me to let me know. Oh, I'm sure they're right.

Have we got through everyone there? That is everyone there. Thank you so much for your support, everyone. Thank you, Em, Tim, Becky, Alex, Lily, Shannon, Jen, Mattoos, and Daisy. The last thing we'd like to do is welcome some people into the Triptych Club. This is an exclusive club for supporters of the show who have been supporting us on the shout-out level for above three straight years.

A bit of theatre of the mind, I'm standing on the door of the club with a velvet rope that i'm about to lift if i call your name which is written on my clipboard once you're welcomed in everyone else is already in the club is cheering your name of course dave is a little bit of a sensitive soul he needs a little bit of a boost and jess is standing right behind him and whispering in his ear thank you so much sweet nothings. Jess, you're normally behind the bar as well. Are you working tonight? Yeah, I'm wearing a long leather coat.

Yes. And small glasses. Just because it's a new fashion choice I've decided to try. So if you could support me in that, that'd be good. And the cocktails, I've got a red cocktail and a blue cocktail. And you get to choose which one you have. They both have some pretty full-on effects. If you know what I mean.

If you know what I mean. You're going to get shit-faced. Oh. What does that mean? You'll see. You'll see. Okay, all right. Have a cocktail.

You'll be all right. Dave, you normally booked a band as well for the after party? You're never going to believe it. I've actually booked a band that you can hear in The Matrix. What? Obviously, I book these months, if not years out, some of these people. They've got big touring schedules. We've got, from The Matrix, The Prodigy.

Whoa. One of my favourite bands growing up. Absolutely loved The Prodigy. It's funny because we didn't talk at all about the soundtrack, but that was a big famous soundtrack. Just quickly Googling here, you've got Marilyn Manson there, Ministry, Prodigy, Propellerheads. Rob Zombie.

Rob Zombie. Dragula was on that. Great track. Rammstein, who you were singing before we started recording. That's right. I've been listening to the latest Rammstein album a bit. Yeah, Do Haas was on there. There was a little period of time where there was this sort of industrial,

sort of new medley kind of scene that was very big. And they were on movies like this and Spawn. I remember the Spawn soundtrack was big. Anyway, are you ready for me to announce some of these names? Please. All right, there's 10 entrants in this week Here we go From Waterloo in New South Wales Australia

It's Blake Utumu Waterloo But I was also thinking Blake Utumu When I was in Italy After a meal You would say Ottimo Fantastic meal

Blake Ottimo Blake Fantastico And also I'm saying thank you from Calgary Go Flames in Canada It's Kirk Reitmeier Kirk it Girl

That's in work it girl Yes Kirk it From Klemzig In South Australia It's Nick Mowbray Get out the Klem rig From

Oh he's Like his stomach Yeah yeah yeah This guy's cool Woo The Klem Specifically the rig to use Matt keep going You're ruining the momentum Oh, he's like his stomach. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, this guy's cool. Woo! Specifically the rig to use. Matt, keep going. You're ruining the momentum.

From address unknown. Could I assume from deep within the fortress of the moles? An offer one. Welcome, our new mole overlords. It's Aaron Sells. Whatever you're selling, Aaron, I'm buying. Woo! He's my cash.

From Bradford in Great Britain, it's Ashley Dickinson. Ooh, Cashly Dickinson. Yeah, she's loaded. More like Radford. Loaded with cash. From Canawindra in New South Wales, it's Jack Beeth. Jack Beeth. Nimble.

Jack Beethquick. Yes. From Adelston in Surrey in Great Britain, it's Sophie Tutor. When she tutors, she never misses. I thought you were going to say shooter. in Surrey in Great Bind it's Sophie Shooter when she Shooters she never misses I thought you were going to say Shooter so that's why I've gotten my own head about Sophie's name because I've said it wrong every time and I can't remember which way

I say it wrong I believe it is Shooter Shooter damn it Shooter the Killer from Haug Sound in Norway it's Lenny Horns Dave can you say that better Lenny Horns it's Lenny Houns. Dave, can you say that better? Lenny Houns? It's an O with a cross through it.

He always asks me this. I never know. Yeah, be a person or everything. You seem like you would know this for some reason. What are we going with so I can... From Haug Sound in Norway, it's Lenny Houns. Lenny, when heny Wenny Here He cool From McKina in Illinois

In the United States It's Sean Gallagher Sean Respawn It's Sean Gallagher Yeah Sean's respawned From Shoreham by Sea

In Great Britain It's Annie There's only one thing I'm sure of And that is that I get to see you Annie And I smell wet by C in Great Britain. It's Annie. There's only one thing I'm sure of. And that is that I get to see you, Annie! And I smell wet dog. I fucking knew it. I knew it.

Thank you so much to Annie, Sean, Lenny, Sophie, Jack, Ashley, Aaron, Nick, Kirk, and Blake. We're trying to pump these people up and you're telling them they smell like a wet dog? No, no. I smell, no. Mr. Walbuck smells wet dog, which is a compliment. And that brings the end of the episode. Jess, what do we need to tell people before we go? That if they want to suggest a topic, anybody can do so.

You don't have to support us on Patreon or anything to do that. There's a little bird on the balcony. Wow. Hello, little bird. I couldn't ignore it. That's a hot bird. That's a beautiful little Sydney has beautiful birds

It might be a rainbow lorikeet Yeah Yes you can suggest a topic There is a link in the show notes Also on our website DoGoOnPod.com Where you can also find information About upcoming live shows

You can find old episodes And you can buy a big range of merchandise Wow what have we got? Hoodies Other types of jumpers Find old episodes and you can buy a big range of merchandise. Wow. What have we got? Hoodies. Other types of jumpers. Stickers.

Stickers. We'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening and goodbye. Later. Bye. We'll see you next time. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details.

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