Do Go On - 364 - The Tylenol Murders

Episode Date: October 12, 2022

This weeks episode was recording on the 40th anniversary of a crime that shocked a nation - the Chicago Tylenol murders!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 6:00 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report). Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/  Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.chicagotribune.com/investigations/ct-tylenol-murders-unsealed-first-24-hours-20220922-2mts4uwyzjgard6cawicu2myvm-htmlstory.htmlhttps://www.chicagotribune.com/tylenolmurders/ct-tylenol-murders-unsealed-investigation--20220922-mcnxdqfs2zhhvdwm3p452i64cy-htmlstory.htmlhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5GJlN1F6xQ&t=323shttps://edition.cnn.com/interactive/2022/09/us/tylenol-murders-cnnphotos/https://www.crimemuseum.org/crime-library/cold-cases/chicago-tylenol-murders/https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/tylenol-murders-1982 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Welcome to another episode of Do Go One. My name is Dev Warnocky and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello, David. How good is it to be alive and how good is it to be Block?

Oh yeah. It's Block right now, Dave. Did you forget? That's the only time I feel alive is during Block. Really? Yes. That's so sad. Yeah, well, I mean, honestly, it's good to have something to look forward to.

What's going on, bud? Are you all right? Yeah, it's Black. I'm good. Okay. But like the rest of the time, what's the time? Well, the rest of the time it's not Block, so I'm not good. You would have been pretty easy.

Yeah, no, true. You would have been more stoked than anyone that Block got extended to two months. That's right. And for the people who are wondering what the hell we're talking about, Matt, what is Block? Block is the most wonderful time of the year. Agreed. Where we go through our most requested and most voted for topics of the year. We're counting them down this time around.

And it's all based on Gregorian calendar stuff. how many Wednesdays in October November this time around there's nine so we're counting down the top nine topics for block 2022 it's huge yeah nine bothers me but that's okay sorry well take it up with gregory gorgorian i will Gregory gagorean Gregory gagorean i've got some opinions well the good news is yes you've got a round number for your report kind of it's number eight it's almost the most round number exactly it's too much round it's probably the second rounders two round too furious uh called it called it the snowman number in some circles another round thing circles two snowman 88 yeah there you go i love um i love the idea

that people have uh interested in this topic have looked it up have started this podcast and thought wow they're insufferable um which is what i did in researching this topic found some podcast and went, oh boy. Okay. I wasn't quite following there, but you're saying that we're insufferable. Yes. It took me a while to connect those dots because I'm like, those two things don't make them. No, no, no, but like stick with us.

It's going to be a lot of fun. Isn't that funny? New people on a new podcast, you, insufferable, when you get used to them, they're like old mates who are insufferable. But you put up with it. It's not pushed through the pain. You get to know them. You think, oh, this is just how they are.

Yeah, it's not their fault. That's okay. That's all right. That's fine. Yeah, and for anybody who's just joining us for the first time, we usually start with a question. That's right. Are you too ready for a question?

Well, I mean, do we need to explain the show any further? One of the three of us goes away and research is a topic. Usually suggested by a listener during block, it's been suggested why a lot of listeners. And, yeah, bring the research back and then tell it to the other two. Kind of like a school report, an oral presentation. It might be the best that you've ever done explaining it. Really?

Well, saved it for block. Yeah. And then we normally get onto the topic. The report giver gets on the topic with a question this week. Jess is doing the report. That's right. What is your question, Jess? My question is, which over-the-counter medication was the centre of a nationwide panic in the US in the early 1980s?

I think panic's a clue there. Panadol. Panic dole. Panic doll. Well, I guess it's kind of true. It was Tylenol, which is parasitial. Which rhymes with? Which is Panadol.

Right. So American Panadol is Tylenol. Well, Tylenol's just a brand name. Panadol's just a brand. It's just paracetamol. Paracetamol. It's one of those words that the more you say it, it sounds, that sounds a little ridiculous.

The more you say, the more it rolls up your tongue. Paracetamol, there's another one. The first time you say, like, yeah, paracetamol, obviously, that's a normal word. But now you start to be paracetamol. You know another name for paracetamol is acetaminapin. Is that somehow more ridiculous? Yeah, acetaminopin. Both of them sound like a grade to learning what syllables are.

Yeah. Paracetamol. Acetaminathan. I love clapping syllables. So fun. Yes. And then they stopped doing that when you get to high school. It's like, oh, okay.

I'm just going to see I'm doing it in my head now. Yeah. We don't get to clap the syllables anymore. Okay. We don't get to clap the syllables anymore. I don't know how to do it. You clap the syllables. That's what a high school education gets to.

Nothing. Some people brought it back on Twitter, though, with those emojis. Those are clapped backs, yeah, that's true. That's very true. I'm sure that's what they're doing. They're cutting their syllables. So, yeah, the Tylenol, well, I'll just start that again. Okay.

Right from the top. Dave. Hi, everyone. Our topic today, and the number eight most suggested topic, well, the voted on, topic for block is the Tylenol murders. Ooh. Really? I've heard of the Tylenol murders, but I always assumed

Tylenol meant something like it was like a full on drug, but it's just a pretty paracetamol. I had no idea. It's an over-the-counter pain med. Oh. Yeah, pretty gentle. Just use it for... And they're murdering people with it.

You just use it for a little headache. Sounds like you should get a prescription if you're going to murder someone. That's a great point. Just saying. This has been suggested by a few. It's been suggested by Jen Wood, Abby Wazinski, Damon, Lewis Engel, Alex Batchie, Lauren, and Nicola St. John. Oh, fantastic name. They're all good, but St. John is a fantastic surname.

So, let me tell you about it, shall I? Please. Wednesday, the 29th of September, 1982. Where were you? This just turns into like, okay. Take me back. Where were you? An interrogation really quickly.

Because I've got video evidence that says... Interestingly enough. You weren't there. I think you might have been in Chicago. Imagine eventually we'd get suggested a topic that implicates one of us in a really big crime. But the other two don't know. So somebody's just doing a report and one of us is just sweat.

Matt, you haven't said anything for about 25 minutes. The only suspect was a... a tall red-headed man with a beard wearing a Sinkilda football club cat. That could be anyone. In the Brunswick area. Might just start thinking about how hot they sound.

Wow, it sounds really attractive. I'd fuck that murderer. They sound cool but also sound innocent to me. Ninety-two. Well, you know, I was already decades and centuries old. That's right, yeah. You should put the decades first, interesting. That's how we used to do it.

That's sort of American style. they do dates wrong? It's like that. I assume they also do decades with four centuries. Yeah, four score and 20. I'm two and 30 years old right now. So, 1982, 29th of September, 12-year-old Mary Kellerman, woke up early around quarter past six and noticed she had a head cold and a sore throat. Her parents agreed to let her stay home from school and get some rest, and luckily, Mary's mother had just bought a new bottle of Tylenol at the supermarket the day before.

So yeah, paracetamol or acetamine. I had to write that out. Acidamidavin phonetically. It sounds almost like Peter Seraphinoids, the English actor. That's what I'm saying about. But is it like two people like Johnny Paracetamol and Christina Acetamil and they were both competing to name it after themselves? Sure.

Yeah, two family empire. It's amazing you even got their first names right. It's crazy. But unfortunately the Paracetamol Cidamol Cidaminopin race was not voted on by the by the patrons, so we'll have to tell that story another time. Next block. It's exciting. So Mary went to the bathroom, took an extra strength Tylenol to help ease her pain.

Within minutes, her father heard coughing and then a thud come from the bathroom. He rushed in to find Mary unresponsive. Oh, shit. Paramedics were called and they rushed Mary to Alexian Brothers Medical Center in Elk Grove Village, where she was sadly pronounced dead at 9.56 a.m. Oh, my God. So, without jumping ahead too far, something's wrong with this paracetamol. Holy shit, Matt.

You put that together real quick. Yeah, but there's nothing wrong with the Cetaminophan. That's correct. This episode is sponsored by the Cetamephyon Family Empire. Peter Cederminin. What a guy. The tick? Is that who he is?

Yeah, the Tic. Also had a great cameo on Black Books. Oh, yeah? It's the guy who read the shipping forecast. Oh, him! And then Fran's, his voice turns on. Fran. Fran?

Yeah. Frant is not you. I did not get that the first time watching it. And watching it as an adult, I was like, oh, I understand. What's happening? I think he had a, like, a bit of a viral video years and years ago where, you know, those videos where someone does like 100 impressions in a minute? He did one, but all the people who was impersonating were just made up people.

That's very funny. That is good. Back to a child dying. We were trying to bring a bit of light somewhere, you know? Oh, yeah, by the way, there will be no light in this. So find the fun where you can. Every five minutes, we'll talk about our favourite Peter Serena Huffowitz's moment. Those science videos he did.

Very funny. Very fun. So, yeah, Mary Kellerman, her sudden and tragic passing raise a lot of questions. How does a seemingly healthy 12-year-old suddenly drop dead? What had caused Mary's death? The biggest shock would come later, as Mary. Mary's death was the beginning of a chaotic and deadly 24 hours in the Chicago area that saw six more people's lives end suddenly and also without explanation. This is sounding a bit like maybe a much more deadly version of the needles and the strawberries thing in Australia a few years ago.

So it's a pretty, what do you call it? Like a just a very, I can't think of a word. Is it Peter Serenapha? Inoffensive sort of product. It's like an innocuous product. Thank you. And someone's tampered with it by the sounds of it. Only with the needles and the strawberries.

I just made Pips stop eating strawberries. But I imagine this probably didn't do a lot of good for the paracetamol industry. That's right. And that's why we don't have paracetamol anymore. So my first suspect is Peter Sinaminowans. Okay. Or whatever the person was. No, you got it right.

Cinnamonnewins. Yeah. That was a dark time when we couldn't eat strawberries. Wasn't it? So for context, if you've overseas, you don't know this, for a while there, I don't know, it was only a few times though, wasn't it? I think so, yeah.

Needles were turning up in strawberries in Australian supermarkets. Yeah. I don't know if anyone actually got injured from it, but then you were encouraged either to not eat strawberries or to chop them up before you eat them. Yeah, and I think something similar happened in the US with like a razor blades in hot dogs at a baseball field or something. That sounds so awful.

Right. Yeah, yeah. but it was, yeah. So it's happened, it's happened before. Obviously, though, when it's one person selling the hot dog, it's probably more obvious. He's also selling Razorblade. Who's put the rest blades in there?

And it's actually just been a bit of a whoopsy. It's a giveaway, okay? Okay. Free Razorblade, now you complain. Okay. Yeah, it was weird that Gary Gillette's hot dog stand didn't, yeah, got away with it. He's also putting shaving gel on the hot dogs, and that was not good. Instead of mustard.

You shouldn't eat that, yeah. Shaving cream set of sauce or shaving gel. Pretty bad. The sort of stuff it comes out, like, it's like a blue kind of gel stuff and then it kind of foams. Yeah, it looks like it tastes good, but it doesn't. It doesn't. Not on a hot dog.

Agreed and disagree. Maybe on a cracker or something. Yeah, it's not a good match. Not far from Elk Grove Village in Arlington Heights, 27-year-old Adam Janice, or Janice, had the day off from his job as a post office supervisor. He had had some slight chest pain the day before, but was feeling fine that day and spent the morning running some errands.

He picked up his four-year-old daughter, Cassia, up from preschool, and stopped by the supermarket for a few bits and pieces, some steaks, flowers for his wife, and some extra strength Tylenol. Once home, his wife Teresa saw him come out of the bathroom, clutching his chest and complaining of pain. She followed him into the bedroom and noticed his breathing was slow and his pupils were dilated. Through the window she could see two neighbours talking

and she knew one of them was a nurse. She ran out for help and the nurse tried to resuscitate, Adam while the other neighbour called an ambulance. Pretty rude to interrupt a conversation. You're like, sorry, Teresa, we're chatting. Sorry, this is important. We're working out our week. A little detail there is actually,

it's quite lucky that it was these two neighbours she saw because Teresa didn't speak a lot of English. She was Polish, and she knew that the nurse spoke Polish as well. Okay, that is very fortunate. It's very fortunate that she happened to see a person who, A, could help medically and B could understand she could communicate with. So at Northwest Community Hospital in Arlington Heights, less than 10 miles from where Mary Kellerman was,

Adam Janice was pronounced dead at 3.15pm. Oh shit. So when he said lucky, you really got our hopes up to it. I was really hoping he was going to pull through, yeah. Uh, no. Given the fact that he complained of chest pains, doctors initially thought it must have been a heart attack. Dr Thomas Kim, medical director of the ICU,

said there was nothing obvious like a gunshot wound or anything. In Janus's case, we thought of the heart. heart first. So the diagnosis for him was either a massive heart attack or a massive injury to the brain. We had to wait until the test came back. Now Dr. Kim comes up a little bit throughout this so keep him in the back of your mind. All right. First suspect. By this time more of the Janice family had arrived at the hospital. Like I said, Adam's wife, Teresa didn't speak a lot of English so Adam's family were there to talk to doctors. The Janice family left the hospital and went back to Adam and Teresa's house together. The family included Adam's mother, brothers, Joseph and

Stanley and Stanley's new wife also named Teresa. They'd been married for about three months having held their ceremony at the same church as Stanley's two brothers and they'd just been on a honeymoon to Hawaii. Hadn't even received their wedding photos back yet. And now here they were planning

a funeral for the same church they'd just gotten married in. Oh my God. Wow. In one article I read, it said that Stanley was having back pain and wanted to just go back to his own home but his mother and sister they all go back to Adam's house together. No, no, no! Other resources say...

Back pain, no! Other resources say that when they were all back at the house, Stanley had a bad headache, as did his wife, Terry, also Teresa. And several of the articles I read say it's a pretty common physical side effect of grief and shock is a headache. So they went together to the bathroom in Adam's house and each took some extra strength Tylenol.

Moments later, Stanley emerged clutching his chest. He collapsed, his brother Joseph, catching him on the way down, and easing him onto the floor. Terry complained her chest hurt too. I found this amazing article from the Chicago Tribune. It was only published a few days ago at the time of recording. It's by St. Clair and Christy Gatowski.

And it's incredibly well written. It has a lot of detail and sort of forms the skeleton of this report. It also has two parts out and more coming in the weeks ahead. They're kind of doing this series of articles about it for the 40th anniversary, I suppose, or 40 years since this happened. So there's a link in the show notes if you want to read the whole series. It's amazing.

So this is quoted from that article. The firefighters and paramedics at Arlington Heights Station 3 were making dinner when the call came in about a man down. When the dispatcher gave the address, they looked at one another in disbelief. The station's paramedics

had just been there a few hours ago for a man down, and that man had died. Fire Lieutenant Chuck Kramer ordered an engine to follow the ambulance to the house. It was on your, usual for bigger vehicles to respond to a medical emergency, but two calls to the same address

in less than six hours was alarming. As we were coming down the street, there were crowds of people, said Kramer, who was in the trailing fire truck. As we pulled up in front, I started to go up to the house and I can hear screaming coming out of the house. Inside, paramedics were trying to revive Stanley as he lay on the floor. One of the medics looked at Kramer with fear in his eyes. This is the exact same thing that happened to the man this morning, he told his lieutenant, and we lost him. Terry grabbed Kramer's shoulder for support. Then she groaned and fell to the floor. Kramer assumed she'd fainted, but when he turned her over, he knew it was something far more serious. Her breath was shallow, her eyes were fixed and dilated. At the moment, at this point,

and maybe it's just because of like COVID and stuff, but they must be thinking, is this a contagious thing? Absolutely. Wow. So now I've got six. paramedics working on two people, Kramer said, and I'm looking at what's going on. I said, guys, this isn't heart attacks. There's something wrong. So yeah, you're absolutely right. They're thinking something environmental. Oh, whoa. The paramedics loaded the couple into separate ambulances and headed to Northwest Community Hospital.

Concern that some kind of airborne contagion or other deadly environmental poison was in the house, Kramer put the entire Janus family in police cars and sent them to the hospital too. Handcuffed? Handcuffed. He radioed ahead. to the hospital staff. You'd better find a place for us, he recalled, telling them. I've got 14 people who need to be isolated.

I tell you what, and this might be because I'm six and a half seasons into the ex-phal. But I'd send out Mulder and Scully at this point. Would you? Yeah. This would be the point where you'd be like, something's up here. Yeah, and Mulder would walk in and he'd guess it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

He'd just be like, it's actually not without precedent, Scully. And then he'd have a wild stab at some obscure thing. Yep. sometimes paracetamols can be poison. It did happen with the Aztecs. And then it'll just happen to have guessed it purely. And then Scali would be like, come on, Molder. There's got to be a more simple explanation.

I don't know, Molder. And then they'll go through 40 minutes and he'll have been right. Yeah, nearly every time. Why does she waste resources and time then? It must be so annoying because what she's saying is logically right. Yeah, she's a medical doctor. But eventually, as a medical doctor who believes in science, you know, you've done a lot of, there's a lot of testing that's been done in Molder. It's always right.

If you think of every episode as a test on Molder's ability, it's pretty conclusive. But what they would do is they do a DNA test on the people that have collapsed. Scali would be like, I've never seen this genome before. Oh my God, let's take it to another lab. They'd go, wow, I've never seen this before. The person who did that test would be murdered and then the test would disappear. And then the season would end And the X-Files would be shut down

For the sixth season end in a row Oh I really wish you guys would stop spoiling episodes Because that's exactly what happened Oh my goodness I don't know, Mulder As the ambulance race towards the hospital Dr Kim was about to leave after a long shift

But a nurse stopped him to say That two people had collapsed at the Janus house And were on their way He assumed it was Adam's parents Overcome with grief The nurse said, no, it's his brother. So then I said, well, maybe he fainted. He's, like, quite keen to leave.

Then she said, his wife also collapsed. So I threw my jacket off. I told the ICU nurses, I was staying. Oh, that's very, that's very theatrical. Throw the jacket off. Tell my wife, I'm not coming home. Yeah, call my wife. But it's also, it's funny that he was so open about just being like, yeah,

I was really keen to get home. Yeah, he's like, okay, so. some old people fainted. Do I have to stick around? Okay, so a young person fainted. Do I have a sick? His wife fainted? Call my wife. Call my wife and tell her not to faint. Tell my daughter I won't make it to a ballet recital.

That's right. Cut to seat with reserve for dad. Dad, Dr. Kim. And then little Kim. Lil Kim. On the side of stage, looking out and the teacher going, I don't know, we've got to go on. And then her mom sitting next to the empty chair just sort of apologetically. shaking her head.

Shrugging. It's like your dad is the head of ICU, okay? Things are going to happen. You are very important to dad, but dad also has a really important job. And a lot of people's lives rely on dad. So do your little fucking dance and have some respects. The mom will be like,

you know, that's what I would say as a mom. Lil Kim, I see you doing the recital, but dad is at the ICU. Yeah. And Lil Kim would be like, oh, mom,

you do this joke every day. It's not that funny. And never comforts me. It's funny the first time I got it. And I was four. Okay. I'm six now. I'm a big girl.

I mean? After the performance of pages starts going up, if everyone looks around, someone steps up, they run out, it's Fox Mulder. Oh my God. Watching his niece's resettled.

He's been cold away. He's been cold away. It's an emergency. And she's like, God damn it, not again. Fox, come on. Not another paranormal emergency.

And he's like, but I thought my sister was abducted by alien. And yet here she is with a daughter in the ballet. That's right. Season 7th. and doesn't connect with the other seasons at all.

They rewrite the whole show. It's very confusing. The only three line, Scully does not buy. That's right. I don't know how they work together, honestly. The last episode I watched was Kind of Stride. Do you remember when there was a kind of spin-off series called Millennium or something? Oh, yeah, yeah.

And they tied up. They did a backdoor finale. I've made a Backdoor Pilots where, you know, they'll like Soul Man, the Dan Akroyd show, did a backdoor pilot in Home Improvement. It's just like, hey, I'm the new priest neighbor, Dan Aykroyd. And then all of a sudden, they test it that's popular and then they fund a season. But this one, like, they canceled the show, but the maker of X-Fells also made that other show. I guess he was like, I still want to finish my show.

So he had the finale. I need to wrap it up. Just wrote Mulder and Scully into it. Yeah, and it zoomed out from the finale and Scully and Mulder are watching the TV. And they're like, wow, what a fantastic TV show. That's not true. Jess is looking like that too. That would be so good.

I'm like, that doesn't make much sense. It still didn't make much sense, but that was worse than what happened. Anyway. Dr. Kim. Dr. Kim. Taking his jacket off. We'll come back to the Anas family later because in the meantime, in fact, around 30 minutes after Adam Yannis had died, it's around 3.45 p.m. at this point. 27-year-old Mary, Ron.

Rhina was at her windfield home around half an hour away from the areas of Illinois that Adam and Mary were in. Raina had a headache and had purchased some Tylenol at the supermarket that morning. Not extra strength, please. After taking two capsules, she felt dizzy almost immediately, collapsing onto a chair in the kitchen and began having seizures. Paramedics were called and Mary was rushed to the hospital, where she sadly died the next day on September 30. Three hours after Mary Rainer had taken a deadly dose of Tylenol, another Mary, so we've got three Mary's now. 31-year-old Mary McFarland from Lombard, 20 miles away, was working at the Illinois Bell Telephone Store

in the Yorktown shopping centre. She's in a mall. It's around 6.45. She stepped into the break room to deal with a headache. In fact, the company had a jar of generic pain pills for their staff, but Mary had a bottle of Tylenol in her bag, and she decided to take that instead. I'm not going to take that generic shit.

I'm starting to wonder, is the killer targeting Mary's? And if so, yeah, like it's weird that it's the Tylenorm. I've had three Marys? You call it the Mary Tylenol murders. Mary Tylenol. And you were worried you wouldn't find any fun in this. And here we are. Have it a great time.

So less than 10 minutes later, she returned to the break room and a co-worker recalled her saying, I don't feel good before collapsing. Paramedics arrived and Mary's co-worker told them that she'd taken Tylenol but nothing else. Mary McFarland was taken to hospital where her family were told she'd suffered a massive stroke and she too sadly passed away not long after. Wow. Is that five now? Well.

And they haven't been able to connect any dots at this point. That's right, yeah. So these, yeah, five people who have all had a similar experience. Been born Mary. Oh, seriously, on the same day. You don't get born a Mary. Someone, I think. The signs you marry.

Or do you think that people just. Well, that's a Mary. Yeah, I think some people are born great and others have greatness thrust upon them. Okay. Same with Mary. Okay. Is Mary a great name?

Do you think? Yeah. One of the greats. Mary. Oh. Yeah, it's all right. It's pretty good. I think it's a solid name.

Yeah. It's up there. Yeah. Yeah. What are we talking top 20? Yeah. Mary is in the top 20 for you. That's pretty good.

Absolutely not. I'm saying like it's up there in terms of the number of Mary's in my family. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, there's a couple, there's two of them. Yeah, I've got an Auntie Mary. Yeah, I've got two Auntie Mary's. Same side of the family.

Right. Crazy. That's wild. Crazy. Michael's the one I've got a lot. On both sides, but yeah. We've got multiple Phillips. Really?

Phillips. I've got, on the same side of the family, two cousins Philip, two cousins Thomas. It's like those siblings were like, fuck it. I don't even care that one of my siblings has a Philip. I'm getting a Philip too. Yeah, normally that's a bit of a faux part. Nah, not in the Perkins clan. And then, oh, you've already got a Tom?

Well, fuck you, I've got a Tom as well. Same surnames as well? No. No, well, that's probably what got him over the line. And is it both families? Is it two Phillips and two Thomases? In... Is it a Philip and a Thomas and a Philip and...

Are they two set siblings? Because that would be hilarious. It's like, oh, we've done again. Well, one Philip and one Thomas are twins. Okay. So they're in the same family. So that's one sibling who named her twins after... nephews she already had.

Two existing nephews. Yeah. Is one of these the footballer Tom Phillips? Yeah. Whoa. Wow. That's weird. Sometimes it's easier to just say yes.

And then he goes, whoa, and then you can move on. Some obscure football. If you say no, he'll come up with somebody else. Does Philip also mean like a positive for something? Oh, that's a real Philip for the, you know, the industry or something? I've never heard that before. In Justice family, yeah. That's not a thing. I've never, I'm not saying it's not a thing.

I've just never heard it. Because it's, yeah, just... That's a real Philip. Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm guessing it's a word like Philip, but it's not Philip. It sounds like a guy called Philip is really trying to rebrand. Yeah, that's a real Philip, wouldn't you say? I also just realized, just in my family's defence, that my grandfather's name was Philip.

So I think maybe, yeah, a couple of siblings were just naming... And, okay, so one of them was my uncle Phil who named his son, Phil. So that's three generations of Phil. The other one, if they want to make a tribute, they could have called the kid Grandpa. Exactly. Grandpa and Tom. Exactly. Phillips's taken. Grandpa isn't.

Tom's taken, but, you know. Anyway, back to the Yannis family, who are at the hospital for a second time today. Can't believe it. Stanley and Terry Yannis were in a critical condition, and the rest of the family were being quarantined at a hospital meeting room. So they can't even be there with a dying family members.

No, because they're not sure if they've ingested something, if it's something airborne, and the police, firefighters and paramedics who had responded to the court. were also in that meeting room with them. They were just keeping everybody contained until they could figure out what was going on. Wow.

Fire lieutenant Chuck Kramer was in the room and he called his friend and public health official Helen Jensen. She arrived at the hospital 15 minutes later and walked into the quarantine room. The people inside marveled at her courage. I thought she'd go and talk to the doctors, but no, she came directly into the room

and I couldn't believe that, Kramer said. But that's just Helen. She's brave. She sees it as it doing a job, but I really admired her. And I initially thought it was a little bit funny to, like, call a person Brave for walk into a room. But at this stage, they have no idea that there are other similar deaths occurring elsewhere. And there's a very serious and valid concern that this is something airborne and very contagious.

So it was pretty ballsy of her to just sort of walk in and be like, all right, what's going on? How can I help? What are we doing? Oh, God. I've wandered into the wrong room. Oh, no. I can't leave. Play it cool.

Play it cool. Hey, what's up? How we doing? I wasn't just looking for the vending machine and I walk in here. Sometimes, brave is one word for it, but if she's going to just drop dead, I don't know if that's brave or that's sort of reckless. Yeah. I think often people say brave when they mean a bit reckless. Yeah.

And that's cool. Yeah. I think cool is another word for it. I'm a pretty reckless person. Nothing cooler than being reckless. Yeah. Would you, I'd say I'm a reckless person. I'm crazy.

Yeah. Not at all a cautious person. Nah. Honestly. I was talking about this the other day. my driving test to get my license. The guy's only feedback was that I was a little bit too cautious. And I was like, you don't say, during my test, I was a little cautious, was I?

I've never given that feedback before. And that's when I went through a yellow light with him, and he's like, a bit cautious. I'm like, in what fucking you know, anyway? I had a similar thing. I had, he asked me to change lanes. And I was told before that sometimes I'll trick you. They'll say change lanes when there's not really enough. space. So I was told, be cautious. So I'm like, sorry, I don't think I've got enough space.

And he got so angry. He's like, you had so much space. I'm like, yeah, I thought it was a trick, so. No matter what instruction he gave you, you said, I won't be doing that. I'm not falling for that one. I can't turn the engine on? I won't be doing that. I was born yesterday. Take the next left. I'll actually be turning right. Thank you. Nice try. Instructor told me to do the opposite of whatever you say. Your instructor is an Don't run that red light. Okay. I know what I'm doing.

Jeez. So yeah, Helen's... That was good engine noise. Thank you so much. I've been practicing. I've been under your tutelage. It's good. It's good stuff.

It's what cars sound like. You guys ever heard of a car? Didn't think so. I didn't think I had until. I thought I had. But now that sounded more like a car than a car ever has. So we've got Helen bravely walking into a room. Oh, it's a broken.

Is that what's the noise she made as she walked into the room? Pulls up. How we doing? She skits in. Ellen's badass. She opens the door Kramer style into a quarantine room. These people are freaking out. They've had the worst day of their life.

She's bursting into the room. Well, there is a Kramer in the room, but he's a fire lieutenant. There's someone named Kramer in the room. Yeah, I've mentioned him several times. He comes up a lot. Keep Kramer in your mind. Is his name Dr. Kramer Kim? Yep.

Okay. No. Okay. So Adam's wife, Teresa, walked Helen through Adam's morning and the family and the family gathering that afternoon. That's M-O-R-N-G. His morning. Morning. Morning.

Morning. Well, he's... The rest of... Adam's the one who died. I'll walk you through his morning and I'll walk you through our morning. In her retelling, Jensen noticed all three people who... had gotten sick, who had gotten sick, had taken Tylenol. Helen Jensen asked for two things.

A key to the Yannis home and a police officer to take her there. She was on to it straight away. She put it together so quick. Bang. And then was like, take me to this house that everybody thinks is poisonous. So she goes, by 8 p.m. she's in the house, gathering items that she thought all three people could have come in contact with. So, yeah, she was like, well, that's interesting.

I took Tylenol, but she's also thinking, like, is there something, you know, just those sort of communal things. So she's taken like a pot of coffee, coffee ground, some fruit, cake, flowers, and of course, Tylenol.

Yeah, because what's that saying, something doesn't equal causation? Correlation. Correlation doesn't mean causation. Because that, like, that would be someone who just goes,

oh, it's obviously that. Yeah, yeah, and they could be wrong. There could be many things. So she's sort of like, okay, what are the kind of things

that they all might have had access to or all might have ingested, eaten, whatever. She's like moldering, scully mush together. She is. But also,

Can I just point out that's some of the worst quarantining procedure I've ever heard of. Well, she just bails. She's walking there and going, great, awesome. I've hung out with all of you. Now I'm going back. I'm going back to the house where you all just came from. I'll probably come back here. And I'm taking a cop with me.

Yeah. The cop's like, do I have to come in? Can I wait in the car? This is very molder technique as well. He's always fingering things on crime scenes. Oh my. I'm like, Fox. Stop touching the evidence.

Well, it's so funny you say that because, I mean, this is the 80s. And a lot of the police officers and stuff, in hindsight, talking about it now, we're like, we weren't wearing gloves. Right. So when they're trying to dust for prints and stuff, it's a bit of a nightmare. Because everybody's just like, oh, here's the Tylenol bottle, getting their hands all over it, throwing it to their friend. Licking it. Yeah.

Just through it like basketball style. How do you throw things to your friend? You tried to throw your keys to Matt before. It was a disaster, wasn't it? They have a competition just trying to throw them in the bin. Oh! Three-point line. They're very respectful

A lot of murder scene So she found the bottle of Tylenol And also conveniently she found the receipt Because they just bought it She's going to try and get a refund This killed three people I think we should get at least a partial refund I want a replacement

I want to steal credit please So she checks inside the bottle And there's 44 capsules left It's a 50 bottle These are the capsules that are You can pull apart That's right yeah yeah So it's like they're the gelatin capsules

So it's like, you know, the panadol ones are green on one side and wine on the other. I think these are red and white. And yeah, you can pull them apart. Right. Tampa with them and put them back to the right. So there's 44 left. So that added up. Three adults are taken two each and the three of them had had the same awful experience afterwards.

So she returned to the hospital where she found a representative from the Cook County Medical Examiner's office in a conference room. And she placed the bottle down and said it had to be the Tylenol that linked these three cases. Oh, that's got to be badass. But remember, this is the early 80s. and she's just a nurse. So her advice was immediately met with skepticism. No. Straight away, they're like,

hmm, Helen, is it? I don't know. I was imagining she puts the bottle down and just goes, there's a killer right there. And everyone goes. And then the Who plays. Helen. She puts their sunnies on,

walks out as the hospital explodes behind her. That's a whole new thing. Another job, well done. Several resources mentioned that she literally had to stomp her feet and yell in order to be hurt, and even then she was brushed off. Yeah, I can imagine people brushing you off when you're stomping your feet and yelling. It's a Thailand. Whoa, Helen.

Helen, baby. We're trying to figure this out. Helen, come on. And this guy in the corner, Fox, he reckons it's a demon. Yeah, we're going to go with him. We're going to go with the demon guy. So, yeah, she went home pretty frustrated. and sort of being like, I'm just a nurse.

They're not going to listen to me, but that's what I think it is. I don't know I had a tantrum. Did you have a headache? Don't tell me she had a headache. She's fine. Thank goodness. So around the same time at 8.45pm, 35-year-old United Flight attendant Paula Prince landed at O'Hare International Airport in Chicago.

One of our good friends and colleagues, Gene, a regular Leavengood, incredible name. Sorry. What? Sorry. Gene, a regular Leavengood? Regular Leavengood. Good. They've made that up on the spot.

R-E-G-U-L-A? Regular? Regular. I'm regular leaving. I'm, yeah, regular doorframe handle. This is my friend... It's a beautiful. Is it a Italian?

My friend Chris Extra Strong Tylenol. Capsule. So what I'm guessing is about to happen is someone's going to die because they didn't listen to Helen. No, this is all happening around the same time. So Helen was at the house at 8.8. This is 845. So it would have been hard to get the word out because people stopped eating Tylenol.

So, yeah, Paula Prince, she lands and her friend and colleague lives in the same condo building as Paula. And so she's like, oh, I'll check to see when she's arriving, we can go, you know, travel home together. She checks a flight board and she says that Jean isn't landing for another hour or so. So she just left her a note to say she was heading home. It says, let's meet for a drink later, Prince wrote. I have exciting news to tell you.

On the way home, Paula stopped at Walgreens for a few things, including, you guessed it, a bottle of extra strength Tylenol. While taking off her makeup, she paused to take a single Tylenol capsule from the new bottle, despite there already being an open bottle in her travel bag. No! Because she was at home alone, it wasn't until two days later that Leavengood and Princess Sister would find her body. Shit. And this is from the Chicago Tribune article again.

At Prince's funeral, a man approached Levin' Good and introduced himself. He said he'd met Prince during a recent layover in Las Vegas and they'd fallen immediately, madly in love. He said they planned to marry. He was Paula Prince's exciting news. Oh, it's so tragic. It's so tragic. This article points out so many small details that are so brutal. Like, that just hurts and that Stanley wanted to go home, but his mum's...

I was like, no, no, no, come back to Adam's place. And that Paula had another presumably safe bottle of Tylenol that she could have had. There's a lot of, like, sliding doors moments where if they'd, something had happened slightly differently, you know. If I think about those moments too much, I panic and then I can't do anything. Yeah, yeah. It's scary. But maybe if you didn't panic then, you would have done something else that would have been the wrong call. Fuck.

Fuck. Panicking may have just saved your life. Thank you. You have anything about that? Yeah. So Paula bought her Tylenol around 9.15pm. So we're not, so, and so we're now at about 10pm the same day, 29th of September, 1982.

After hours in quarantine, firefighter Kramer heard from Dr. Kim that Stanley Yannis had been pronounced dead and Terry was on life support with no chance of recovery. So this family's lost two sons and, and a daughter-in-law is, she's going to die as well, in the same day. And they were all there. Yeah. It happened too, awful. Dr Kim said he thought the deaths were most likely caused by something they'd ingested

and was trying to find a poison expert to help him find out more. Careful not to rule out environmental factors, doctors admitted the Janus family for overnight observation. And this is another one of those little details that this article just really hits you. Like Joseph Janus, their older brother, shared a room with his sister Sophia, and the siblings passed a sleepless night, afraid they wouldn't wake up if they fell asleep. I was just looking at my sister and she was looking at me to see if we were still alive,

he said. I thought we were going to die too. Because I'd have no idea. Oh, you'd be grieving, you're terrified. His siblings have just died. You have no idea why. And you're like, is there something in the house that's going to kill us as well? Terrifying.

On the way back to the firehouse, Lieutenant Kramer notified dispatches via radio that his station would be out of commission until further notice. He told, so the family had to quarantine in the, hospital but all of the first responders were told to go home but they had to like deep clean the trucks and you know like try to make sure just in case that it wasn't anything on them so he's like don't send us any uh jobs for a bit we need we're off we're offline shortly after that his phone rang it was a friend of his and a fellow arlington heights fire lieutenant phil capitelli capitelli asked what was up and what had happened that would cause an entire station to shut down

because he'd heard it on the radio. Kramer told him about the family and their mysterious illness. They didn't have anything in common, Kramer told his colleague, except that they'd each taken Tylenol. This information clicked with Capitelli. His mother-in-law worked with the 12-year-old Mary Kellerman's mother, and he had heard about her death earlier that day. He told Kramer about his inquiry into Mary Kellerman's sudden death

and that she'd also taken Tylenol moments before collapsing. Wow. Oh my God, it just hits you, Kramer recalled. Someone is out there indiscriminately pretext. poisoning people. So they've put it together in the first like 12 hours. Which is rare in these sorts of stories. You know, it's often like ages later.

They're like, ah, but now they're like really quickly putting it together. But I guess there's that that chance thing that he seemed to know both parties. Exactly. Amazing. Exactly. And it's a massive city, millions of people. It's Capitelli's day off and he's just listening into the radio anyway, as he was known to do. Happens to hear the first one and like, you know, his mother-in-law knows the mother of the door.

You know, it's. I kept a telly, a bit of a radio listener. Yeah. Known for it. Known for it. Yeah, crazy. So Kramer then called the Elk Grove Village Fire Department and spoke with a paramedic who had treated Mary Kellerman.

Through their conversation, Kramer learned that Mary Kellerman's symptoms were the same as the Janus's. So he called the hospital and confirmed what Helen Jensen had been trying to tell people. There's something wrong with the Tylenol. Now, Dr. Kim had treated cases of acetaminopinin poisoning before, but this wasn't that. He consulted with several poisoning experts and scoured his old medical school textbooks. He paced back and forth in his office thinking and ruling out various causes. In the end, there was only one substance that he could think of that killed people so rapidly after being ingested. Cyanide.

Oh dear. His hospital couldn't test for Cyanode at that time, so he found a 24-hour lab in Highland Park. He put two vials of blood, one belonging to Stanley, the other to Terry, in a cab and gave the driver in a car. and gave the driver instructions on where to take them. Put him in a cab. Wow. Just sitting on the front seat next to it. Yeah, and the cab driver's like,

buckle up. Meanwhile, an Elk Grove Village police officer brought the Tylenol bottle from the Kellerman home to the hospital and gave it to Nicholas Pishos, an investigator with the Cook County Medical Examiner's Office. Pishos already had the bottle left by Helen Jensen. Both bottles had the same lot number, Like same batch.

Pishos called his boss Dr Edmund Donahue, deputy chief medical examiner for Cook County. Donahue, who was at home, told him to open one of the bottles and smell inside. Anyone know what smell we might be looking for? Is it almonds? It is almonds. I was going to guess cyanide.

Which smells like? Cyanide. Yes, I don't know what amends. Probably both correct. Technically. Yeah, he's not wrong. We sound I think it's a nut allergy thing. It's a nut allergy thing.

It's an Nilegedy thing, yeah. But just almonds. Just a high-class nut. This is how we discovered that people can be allergic to nuts. Before that, we had no idea. Whoa. We, as humans. When Pishos poured out the capsules, he caught a strong almond scent.

That's hard to resist. The second bottle produced the same bitter smell. Donahue's suspicion was confirmed. He knew instantly the odour was cyanide, a notorious and rapid acting poison that cuts off oxygen to red blood cells. The almond odour. isn't always present and even when it does exist, it's discernible by only about 60% of the population.

Right. So imagine if Pishos had been part of the 40% that couldn't smell it anyway. Oh, yeah. Then we wouldn't, you know, they'd still be, they'd have to be testing things, but he was like, oh, almond. And they're like, that's cyanide, baby.

It's crazy. Again, it's one of those other, it's another time where it's like, what if he hadn't been able to smell it? And what if, it's crazy. Donahue called Michael Schaefer, the county's chief toxic. and asked him to come to the morgue and run tests on the confiscated Tylenol capsules.

Tests would show that four of the 44 remaining capsules in the Yanis's bottle contained cyanide. Only four. Oh, so that new bottle she opened, it was even... It wasn't all cyanide. Oh, my God. I guess, yeah, whoever did it, it would take forever to do it. So just put six on top of it. So even the fact that they all happened in the same day is pretty wild, right?

It could have just slowly happened over months and then it would have been a lot harder to put together if they were happening more... Harder to, yeah, link it to something. Test would show that, yeah, 44 contained cyanide. Four of the 44, sorry. Records indicate each capsule had between 550 and 610 milligrams of the poison, nearly three times the amount needed to kill someone.

So it's strong as well. Shit. In the early hours of September 30, a technician from the 24-hour lab in Highland Park called Dr Kim to tell him that her tests had found massive amounts of cyanide in Stanley and Terry's blood. So it confirmed that it was cyanide poisoning and from the Tylenol. With so many of these stories, it often takes ages for authorities to figure out that there's any link, like we were saying before.

But already, some very savvy and dedicated medical professionals and first responders had pieced it together very quickly. but now it was a case of getting the info out to more people. The first news related to the Tylenol poisoning broke when a reporter for the City News Bureau, a famed Chicago News organization that operated 24 hours a day, was Oprah, published a bulletin. The bulletin, based on a tip received by overnight editor Rick Bart,

didn't mention specifically Tylenol, and the city news reporter John Flynn Rooney. I couldn't get anyone to confirm those details but they essentially they got a tip I think I had it written somewhere they essentially had a tip that like a headache medication wink wink yeah yeah but they couldn't get them to confirm that it's Tylenol

but the editor Rick Bart recognized that this was potentially very dangerous to the public and he urged his reporter Rooney to keep digging Bart also called his best friend in the middle of the night because he knew that his friend took Tyler for his knee each morning. And so he warned his friend, skip it. Don't take Tylenol tomorrow morning.

All I could think was how many more people could be at risk if the news didn't get out by morning, Bart said. So shortly before sunrise, Rooney managed to nail down the story and at around 5.30 a.m., city news reported that the medical examiner's office was attributing three deaths to an unnamed headache remedy and a news conference would be held later that morning. And there's this detail in the Chicago Tribune article

again. The story was immediately picked up by local radio stations, including the one Helen Jensen's husband listened to before work. When he heard the news, he woke up his wife. You were right, he told her. It's on the radio. It's the Tylenol. So she was right. She was right. Unfortunately, she needed

a couple more men to confirm it before anybody believed her, but still, at least it wasn't days, weeks, months until she was finally proven right. It was like hours. So. Yeah, she was right on it. Really quick. Yeah. It's so funny that they gave her Keyes and a police officer

but still didn't listen I thought I thought oh that was the fire lieutenant who gave her the got some authority but yeah they didn't yeah geez the you know the county what were they thinking oh who knows

she it sounds like she had put it all together put it together she could spell it out yeah but they're like I don't know did they call her sugar tits or anything probably yeah all right sugar tits. We go from here. Okay, sweetheart.

I'll have a black coffee on your way out. Thanks. So the same morning the news broke, stores began pulling the pain reliever from their shelves, and public health departments went door to door with flyers warning people about potentially poisonous capsules. Police officers drove through streets using bullhorns to order people to throw out their Tylenol. So they acted very quickly. Two honks means throw it in Tylenol. We all know. Oh, no.

Yeah, the Tylenol. This effort proved to be life-saving as three other tainted Tylenol bottles were found this way and no other lives were lost after those first 24 hours. Wow. That is an amazing, well, you know, horrible start. Awful. What are the systems in the end worked so well. Yeah. But of course the question remained.

How did this happen? And who is responsible? The other question was, who's in charge of this investigation? The deaths that occurred in different areas of Illinois and different police departments will look. looking into the mysterious deaths. Illinois Attorney General Ty Fahner was notified of the deaths and although each county has its own state attorney to oversee the case

and the Attorney General has no authority to intervene, Faina was a well-liked leader and the Illinois State Police wanted him to help. So he left an event he was at immediately and made phone calls. His daughter's ballet recital. Everyone's getting up from his recital. She's like, dad. Yeah, everyone's at the same recital. It's brutal.

I want to see this as a film, but it starts as just like some kids practicing for their ballet recital. And then it finally gets to the big performance and everyone's dad leaves. And then it turns into a really gritty crime drama. That's what I want. Yeah, what a beep is. Can I play Helen Jensen? Oh yeah, you could be, you'd be great Helen Jensen. I'd be a great sugar tit.

I can picture you stomping those feet. Yeah, because I do that often. Listen. When you won't listen to me. I stomp my feet. Listen to my report. I go, boys. Listen.

Stomp my little feet. It works at all right, Jess. I'll have a tea with two. Two what? Two what? Two what? Tylon off. You want some cyanide in your tea?

No problem. So yeah, he left this event, made some phone calls through the drive home. He had a car phone, pretty sick. Oh, wow. I love their curly little antennas. Do you remember those car phones? that a little pig, little pig's tail antenna at the back? I don't remember that.

Yeah. That's fun. Adorable. It's like cars were pigs for a while. Ongoink. It's like cars were pigs. Yeah. It was the 80s.

It was wild. Little piggy cars. By the time he'd reached his house in Evanston, he was the de facto leader of what had quickly become the country's highest profile case. He ordered his staffed to work through the night calling local police sheriff, foreigners, the FBI, the FDA, prosecutors and public health officials. He also laid the foundation to get extra strength Tylenol off store shelves statewide, going beyond the single batch of the pain relievers manufacturer had recalled that day.

So the manufacturer is like, okay, we'll find, you know, that batch, let's get rid of that. But he's like, get rid of all fucking Tylenol. Actually, burn down every chemist. Yeah, just to be safe. Tess will run and confirmed that Mary Kellerman and Mary Rainer had suffered the same fate as the Yanis's cyanide poisoning. So very quickly they're piecing together that the Janus family, it was the Tylenol that had poisoned them, and that it was Tylenol for the other people as well. So they have put it together quite quickly.

Can I just, John, if I ask Dave, who he thinks, who's your big suspect at the moment? Probably. A disgruntled employee at Tylenol, something like that. Oh, you think so? I think it might be Rick Tylenol. Oh, okay. Trying to crash his own stock. so we can buy low and then sell high.

That's brave. Yeah, that is very brave. Because I don't think this is a good PR for Tylenol. Yeah. But he was a cowboy, Rick. So crazy, it just might work. Okay, Matt, any theories? Dave said Rick Tylenol.

I'm wondering if it's maybe like a disgruntled employee on the factory floor or something. I'm literally looking at the world disgruntled employee in front of me. In brackets, Rick Tylenol? No. Rick Tylenol is not mentioned. Fuck. Yet. We're going to crack the case one.

He's still at the ballet recital. He hasn't left yet. The one person left. He doesn't have a pager. The White House ordered the FBI to be involved in the investigation amid growing public panic. FBI special agent Roy Lane Jr. was one of several investigators who gathered to brainstorm possible motives behind the crime. There was about 10, 15 different avenues of investigation to pursue, like disgruntled employees.

former employees, lawsuits, customers who had a problem, anybody that can make some money out of it. So there's a lot. I think I read... Money to be made. I didn't include it in the report,

but I read that there was like a team of female agents that were set up to like answer the phone. There was like a hotline set up for people to... They put the hot and hot line because they were women. Jesus Christ. And how hot are women? How hot are women Am I right, fellas?

Matt's new catchphrase How hot a woman? He is a feminist of the pot. And you're always reaching for a high pod? Huh? You guys ever seen a hot woman? Like every woman? I love them all.

How hot are women. Yeah, all right. I mean, I suppose you are supporting women kind of. Kind of. I mean, we're sort of reclaimed. Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, so yeah, there was this, there was a hotline set up.

There were people taking calls. They were getting thousands of tips. That's always a nightmare, though, isn't it? Right. Because you get people being like, I saw Graham across the road last night, and then I didn't see him until this morning. Yeah. What was he doing?

What was Graham doing? There was a lot. And then it was sort of, this article interviews one woman whose job it was to sort of filter through all these tips and, like, discard ones that were obviously nonsense and keep the ones that, like, agents should actually look into. For example, demon. Demon. They're like...

Fuck for Molder's like, yep, I'll be right there. I'm going to put that on the maybe pile. And I'm going to hand this one off first. He's nearly never wrong. Like 99% of the time he's spot on. But it wouldn't that be a, it would be a mini... There would be very... It would be a web series of like five minute episodes if people listen to him at the start, you know?

Because he calls it so quickly. That's true. So you got to be like, nah, and then he's right. All right again. Yeah. When will they learn? Among the earliest priorities was 24-hour surveillance outside the victim's homes on the assumption that someone who killed anonymously would want to see the results of their work

and might drive by the house. Following the same theory, investigators took pictures of everyone who attended the victim's funerals and set up time-lapse cameras at gravesites to see if they could capture anyone acting unusual. Agents interviewed the victim's families, neighbors, coworkers, and friends about any known enemies. I mean, one of them was a 12-year-old girl, so... So the list was long. Many enemies. Each person underwent a rigorous background check.

Relatives, including two who took polygraph tests, were quickly eliminated from suspicion. So like, okay, it's not any relatives. Not Auntie Jill. Hopefully not based on the polygraphs, aren't they? They've been debunkers. Have they? Yeah, aren't they bullshit? Oh, no.

Trying to discredit it. Yeah, now, these are bullshit anyway. That's Matt really determined not to take it. This whole time we were. them every week. Just to keep us honest. On this silly little podcast. I think that's dumb.

I think it's a great idea. So, yeah, so it's funny that they're thinking enemies because it feels like it was quite random. Yeah, exactly. If it was just that one family, just that one bottle, you'd be like, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This 12-year-old girl isn't related to the woman who's come to her apartment. And they're all spread out.

Like, it's all around the Chicago area. they're close-ish to each other, but like, you know, it's quite widespread. Investigators quickly dismissed the possibility that the killer was targeting a single victim, obviously, because there was seven victims. You do it to target one, and then to cover your tracks, you kill the others. Okay. Spoken like a true serial killer, David. Exactly.

Thank you. Well, I don't think you meant that as a compliment. Well, thank you. Sorry, Jess, I want to talk to you. Did you mean that as a compliment? I'm sorry. Thank you. And also, how hot are women?

This is what I'm trying to say. Am I right? The polygraph. Bing, Bing. So, yeah, they've dismissed that the killer was targeting a single victim, and the other models were contaminated to make it harder to solve that murder. So essentially what you're saying, Dave, it's like they're going, no, it's not that somebody is killing one person and trying to cover up their tracks.

Oh, okay. Authorities were convinced that the killer didn't know any of the victims. In keeping with that theory, the task, forced contacted hospitals to ask about anyone treated for poison, burns or symptoms in case the killer became ill or injured during the spree. So maybe, like, you know, accidentally ingested some of the cyanide or whatever. Fell over. Fell over.

Got a scraped knee. Yeah, everyone in the hospital was a hospital. Oh, a sprained ankle. Interesting. Ever heard of cyanide? No. Would I be a good cop? Yeah.

Yeah, you'd be terrifying. Do you reckon? Ever heard of cyanide? What the hell are you talking about? I would also, I would conduct all of my interrogations at a gym where I'd just be leg pressing and keep the eye contact with them. Yeah. When you were just acting that out before, I don't have to do this on purpose, but your

eyes were wide open and unblinking. Yeah, I do that while I leg press. Just so they know how strong my legs are. And your lids. I got great lid control. I can go a good 30 seconds without blinking if I want to. How hot a woman. Just one more thing.

One final question. How hard are women? Very correct. Okay. You're off the list. Investigators pulled library records to see who had checked out books on cyanide. They're really... They're trying everything.

They're looking for an idiot. And they talked to vets about any unusual animal poisoning, thinking that the murderer may have tested chemicals on pets first. Oh, wow. Which I guess, you know, a lot of serial killers and stuff were... kill animals. So that's not a bad theory, but I didn't really pull much up for them.

That sounds like whoever came with the theory defending it? Yeah. Okay, I didn't come up with anything, but it's not a bad theory. It's not bad. I was about to try. It wasn't where the crack? Okay.

All right. Greg, what are your ideas? Yeah, I didn't hear you. I haven't heard your ideas, Greg. You didn't hear a fucking peep out of you, Greg. Yeah, Greg. You're an asshole, Greg. You used to be my friend.

In an attempt to paint a more detailed portrait of the killer, the FBI turned to a relatively new technique at the time called criminal profiling. Oh, Mulder's great at this. The Tylenol case marked one of the earliest uses of this approach. Investigators assumed the culprit was a man, though records indicate they didn't automatically rule out anyone based on gender. So, assuming they're a man, not actually helpful or relevant. I think the Scully's also very good at it.

Right. Criminal profile. What a combo. Wow. She often writes in her little diary. What is she? Yeah. But Mulder also, or not?

Yeah. Yeah, they're both good at it. Yeah, I thought. You know where they do a lot of profiling? Criminal Minds. Oh. Yes. I enjoyed that show early on, but then some of the stuff is a bit effed up for me.

Really? A bit too effed up for your sick little brain. Yeah, that's right. Wow. It's not sick. There was a cup show that was all about profiles. Yeah, it's criminal minds. That was my little joke there.

I thought, I think there was, is that the English one? No. No. They're probably more than one, I guess. You're thinking of the bill. Reg, one of the greatest profiles. Reg. Well, I've done a short course in my time off,

and now I think I can do a bit of profiling. I think I know who nicked two Bobworth mixed lollies down the off license. It was that kid over there. That's it, fella. You're Nick. What a great show. I love that show. Me too.

It was one of the, you know, daytime TV sucked. And that was a little bit of a bright spot. Sun Hill, what a place. Take me back. That's it, you're nicked. Your neck, you toilet. Your neck, you toilet. Sun Hill.

The least sunny place on the planet. The sun ever shone on that show. Sorry, Jess, do go on. So they, yeah, they're not ruling anybody out, but they think it's probably a man because studies have found that women who kill use poison more often than men do, but they typically target people they know. How hot.

Vindictive. Male murderers are more likely in general to kill randomly and on a larger scale. Is that true? Women just kill, like, people who have wronged them. Settling scores. But with poison. With poison more often.

It really is in its infancy, isn't it? This profiling? Yeah, yeah, it could be anyone. Yeah, pretty much. We're thinking either a woman or a man. And yeah, I've just got a note here, how hot are women? How hot are women? So I guess, maybe it couldn't have been a woman.

They're so hot. Yeah. The profile is predicted that the culprits passed likely included treatment for mental health issues and an attack on his parents. I don't know why. He also would have likely had a history of. of animal cruelty. So they've got like,

I've got like some bullet points of what they're sort of looking for. About a week after the deaths, a handwritten letter was sent to Johnson and Johnson the manufacturers. Oh. It read, gentlemen, as you can see, it is easy to place cyanide,

both potassium and sodium, into capsules sitting on store shelves. And since the cyanide is inside the gelatin, it is easy to get buyers to swallow the bitter pill. Another beauty is that cyanide operates quickly. It takes so very little. and there will be no time to take countermeasures. If you don't mind the publicity of these little capsules, then do nothing.

So far I have spent less than $50 and it takes me less than 10 minutes per bottle. If you want to stop the killing, then wire $1 million to this bank account. Right, so it was all for the cash. Or for that sweet, sweet cash. Or is someone just trying to take advantage? Well, step in. Interesting. Oh, you two would be a great crime duo in that you do most of the work, Dave.

but Matt Okay Matt walks around going Ah And supports women Matt has an idea Dave says the opposite

Matt goes yes Dave Yes Okay I think that's That's probably Reduce some of the work I've done on this case Down to just

Arms and R's That's right In fairness I thought it was Rick Tylenol Hey we still don't know That it's not Exactly

Exactly I'm hoping you know One word Matt thinks There's disgruntled employees I'm making this up as I go. Matt,

can I just ask you a question, though? Who's hot? It's hard to put a finger on it, but let me just say, if we're speaking broadly, I'm going to go with women. Bing, bing, bing, bing. So Johnson and Johnson,

they're obviously very concerned, of course. Both of them are? Johnson and both. They're worried that this is a legit letter and that the culprit would continue to poison medication. So they're willing to pay the ransom, but the FBI says,

no, no, no, hold off. Instead, turning their attention to finding the letter writer. Eventually, they traced the letter to a man named James William Lewis. The bank account details were linked to a business that his wife had previously worked for. Apparently, the last paycheck had bounced due to a lack of funds in the business account, and Lewis had provided those bank details, hoping to get some revenge on his wife's former employer when the money entered his bank account, therefore implicating him in the murder of seven people.

Oh my God, James, you psycho. Absolute psycho. Evidence suggested Lewis and his wife had left Chicago for New York, around a month before the deaths, and therefore it was very unlikely he was responsible. He also, he owned up to writing the letter, but said, I got nothing to do with the murders. He was essentially,

he'd had this idea that this is something he would do when an opportunity arose, and these poisonings happened a couple months or a month later. So as in like, he planned to poison people? He planned to... Extort. His wife's ex-employer. Oh, yeah, pretend to extort.

Yeah, yeah. He was just hoping to frame. Dwayne and Dick Johnson. He just wanted to frame them. Yeah. He just wanted to get revenge at him. James, you diabolical. He was however...

That's dastedly. Absolutely. That's maybe one of the most dastity plans I've heard. It's pretty dastardly. He was, however, arrested, tried and convicted for extortion and sentenced to 10 years in jail. Oh my God! For that letter. That'll show him.

That'll show the old boss. Jesus. Another suspect was a man named Roger Arnold, who worked in a factory with the father of one of the victims, Mary Reiner. While drinking in a bar one night, he started to discuss his theories on the case and stated that cyanide wasn't even that hard to get your hands on. In fact, he had some back at his place. I've got some right here. The owner of the bar, a man named Marty Sinclair, found this to be suspicious, and he reported Roger Arnold to police. Police searched Arnold's home, finding weapons and chemicals, but no cyanide.

With no connection between Arnold and the poisonings, officers charged him with a weapons violation and also for an outstanding warrant for an assault and let him go. So who's One thing he said wasn't even true Yeah I got cyanide He's just to blow hard at the bar But he had all sorts of other weird shit Just a loser

And you just Don't you think you can trust the bar The guy behind the bar Not if you're talking about a really high profile I reckon there should be some sort of like Client confidentiality At a bar Yeah

Exactly it's like talking to a priest I think you might be siding with the wrong person If you just let me get to the next sentence That bar dogged him Okay Okay Tell me about him. Well, the media attention caused him to have a bit of a nervous breakdown.

And in the summer of the following year, he shot and killed John Stanisher, who was a computer consultant, who was leaving a bar with friends, whom he mistook for Marty Sinclair. So he planned to go and shoot the bar owner for ratting him out and instead shot the wrong person. He is hopeless. Can't even get murder right. Oh, man, that's awful. convicted of the killing and served 15 years of his 30 year sentence for second degree murder. So awful and so, so sad. Yeah, that's grim.

The investigation continued and authorities tried many different approaches to find the person responsible for the death of seven people. In early 1983, at the FBI's request, this is crazy. Chicago Tribune columnist Bob Green published the address and grave location of the first and youngest victim, Mary Kellerman. The story, written with the Kellerman family's consent, was proposed by the FBI criminal analyst John Douglas on the theory that the perpetrator might visit the house or gravesite if he were made aware of its locations. Okay. Right.

Like, you don't think that he or she, the murderer, wouldn't probably be able to just find out? Yeah. You think they're sitting back going, huh, I wish there was a way to find out who the victims were. I guess I'll never know. I can't. Oh, it's been published in the newspaper. I'm assuming criminals can find out things like that. Yeah, the address and also like which cemetery.

Very strange. And then both sites were kept under 24-hour video surveillance for several months, but nothing came in. I reckon if I was a criminal mastermind, I would definitely not think that was a trap. Okay. That's actually really convenient. They published that information for me.

In the fine print it said, and don't worry, it will not be surveilled. Yeah. You'll have complete, not a privacy. You get to the gravesite and there's like a big net above it. Oh, well, that's for. And below it, but it's covered in leaves. But the leaves are blown off, but you can see it's a pit. And there's a tiger down there.

It's not really getcha. Yeah, it's so enjoyed it. They were just like, they were quite desperate. They were trying everything. There was just so many different kind of, I don't know, accusations or suspects. A surveillance photo of Paula Prince purchasing Sinai. tampered Tylenol at a supermarket was released by the Chicago Police Department. Police believed that a bearded man seen just feet behind prints.

Look, I don't know why you're both looking at me. I think, yeah, what year was this? 1982? Yeah, I shaved my beard that year. Oh, okay, that was your one beardless year for the last few decades. No, I've had other beardless years. What years? I once shaved for a friend's wedding.

What year was that? My question wasn't what at the events. It was what year? That was this millennium. Did you say for a friend's wedding You turned up And they're like, who the hell is that? Yeah, people made fun of me all day

They said, I look like Millhouse Because I had glasses And I got this hair cut that morning And it's a very funny looking haircut Hey, you got the dud The dud looks like you point next to Yeah, exactly I'm like, well

Yeah, I feel good I feel good at this wedding My mom had like It's Millhouse Mom had long hair like really long brown hair down to like her waist got it perm to the day of the wedding. So she had like really short Kelly and dad's like, who is that? What the hell?

Wrong church lady. You're making like a wild decision with a little. Very bold. For my wedding, I obviously don't want to represent myself like I normally look. No, no, no, I want to look completely different. That would be weird. So who's this red bearded man? I never said red.

Okay. So yeah, there was just a guy, I think, behind. behind her in the line and they sort of thought maybe he was a killer don't know what that was based on but they were like oh maybe him he just looks sus but nothing ever came of that theory either yeah so matt got away with it oh look i just happen to be also be buying something from the chemist uh newspaper uh some jelly beans and there's 20 pack of giant dingers please i'll have some extra strong uh tylonel and extra large dingers I had a friend once

Go into like a I think it was a 7-Eleven It was late at night To buy To buy dingers Which are condoms Condoms For people

And they're Who happen at sex They're often behind the counter But not always So he like had a bit of a look around Couldn't see them anywhere And was like You know what I'm not going to be embarrassed about this

It's a perfectly natural thing to do Walks up to the counter and says Hey mate Can I get some condoms And the guy just pointed over to a shelf But he hadn't seen He's like yeah help yourself.

I don't need to announce it. I don't care. Can I please have sex? Hello, I'm going to have sex now. One sex, please. That was pretty funny. You know, trying to, like, being like, you know what, let's not be children about it. It's not a big deal.

I'll just ask, oh, they're right there. My bad. Pretty funny. So, yeah, a few different theories about the, like, who this killer could be. Is it somebody, you know, in surveillance? And there also wasn't, like, the surveillance cameras everywhere now. This is back in the 80s. It was less.

Even in shops and stuff, it tended to just be maybe one camera, and it was on staff, not like on the general public. They didn't trust staff in the 80s. Didn't trust him. I thought they were going to steal from the till. They're trying a bunch of different things.

And the identity of the killer remained a mystery for 40 years. What? In fact, it remains a mystery to this day. Oh, you totally got me. I thought you were about to say that recent article had said. Because that 40 years were,

be this year. Holy shit. It's still a mystery. Still a mystery. Well, you know what this show does? Oh, yeah. It weeds them out. Somehow whenever we...

Give it a few months and this killer will be... Always something happens. It'll either be the killer will be revealed or they'll make a movie about it. Or Zach Efron will play the killer. That's right. They're the two options. And yeah, it's, it's, as we're recording this on the 29th, it's 40 years today. What?

Today. Today. Today. of recording. And that's just a freak coincidence. Yeah. That this happened to be voted as the eighth most popular topic. That's it.

That we had to record today. Yeah. Wow. And the two-part article I mentioned, it's only two parts out at the time of recording. There was more coming. So there probably will be a bit of press around it because it's 40 years. So it is going to be one of those situations where we do a topic and then people are seeing it a lot in the media. But yeah, give it a couple of months.

But do you think like part three of this story will solve it and you'll have to come back. next week and say actually we do know how it is Patreon bonus episode yeah that's right we killer announced we have an update yeah it's still a mystery and I got you I got you there absolutely I was thinking holy shit

I was really hoping there was going to be someone paying for this no no satisfying conclusion Matt was just hoping that someone was going to take the fall for him no that's a ridiculous thing this way God you're a murdering dog I don't like murdering dog

I don't like murdering dog Murdering ones. Yeah, we like nice dogs. We like nice doggies? Not killer dogs. Not bad dogs. Who do you think of as a bad dog? You!

A hound? No. You. You and you alone. So yeah, no one has ever faced charges or been arrested for the Chicago-Tylano. No one even arrested? No. They love to arrest people.

Other than the guy arrested for extortion. Oh, yeah. And the guy who shot the barman. Oh, that sucks. Someone got away with it. The FBI even investigated a theory that another famous killer could have been responsible. In 2011, the FBI requested DNA samples from the Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski, in connection to the Tylenol murders.

He denied having ever-possessed potassium cyanide, but the first four Unabomber crimes happened in Chicago and its suburbs from 1978 to 1980, and Kaczynski's parents had a suburban Chicago home in Lombard, Illinois in 1982. So they were like, maybe he was using his parents' place as a base. but we've obviously done the Unabomber as a topic. That's right. Was that a block topic?

Fuck, it might have been. It was definitely one of our, it was a very popular episode. Thanks on our top three downloads ever, I reckon. That was a name that I'd heard a lot, but I knew nothing about it. It's an amazing story. You know, in a tragic and terrifying way. But yeah, they... Much like this.

Yeah, exactly right. Nothing linked Ted Kaczynski to it. But even in 2011, they're like, uh, what else? What else? That guy. They're still trying. You know, you said earlier, the guy at the bar. bragged about, oh, it's easy to get cyanide.

Yeah. Is that true? Like, I've got no idea. I don't, well. If it's so poisonous, like. I doubt it. Yeah. But I'm not 100% sure back then.

Yeah, where you get it from? Yeah. And what it's for? Yeah. You know? Well, that's it. I did remember, I do remember reading something about like the manufacturing plant, um, you know, going and checking their cyanide.

And I'm like, why do you have it? Whoa, whoa. What have you got that for? What's it used for? And must have a practical use. It must do, but... Do you think people are yelling at their iPods right now? Probably.

Chemists, mostly. What if I Google it? What do you reckon? I think you'll go on a list. You do have a guess. All right. Practical use of cyanide. Well, I don't know what like a pharmaceutical company would be using it for unless it's like...

It's like, yeah, even in a small dose it sounds deadly. It's not like even a tiny bit can cure cancer or something. That's right, yeah. According to emergency.c.c.gov, In manufacturing, cyanide is used to make paper, textiles and plastics. It is present in the chemicals used to develop photographs. Cyanide salts are used in metallurgy. Is that it?

For electroplating, metal cleaning and removing gold from its ore. Cyanide gas is used to exterminate pests and vermin in ships and buildings. So it seems like it's got a lot of uses. That's interesting. But yeah, they even sort of were trying to figure out you know how how the killer actually did it like was it did they just go into a store buy or steal a bottle of cyanide take it out pull a pull a fuel apart and fill it you know it's like and then take it back yeah exactly put it back on the shelf and I'm guessing that this is pre like

those one new seals and stuff Matthew Stewart your timing perfection wow because one element of this story that we haven't talked about yet is the Tylenol manufacturer, Johnson and Johnson. So before the 1982 crisis, Tylenol controlled more than 35% of the over-the-counter pain reliever market. Only a few weeks after these deaths, that number plummeted to less than 8%. See, Mr. Tylenol, Rick Tylenol. Stocks are going down. He's buying big. Buying up. But it's going to go back up, surely. So this dire situation, both in terms of human life and business, made it, more importantly, business, made it imperative that Johnson and Johnson executives respond swiftly and authoritatively.

And obviously they were a suspect. Like had it been something that they'd done wrong? Was it something in the manufacturing? Investigators first considered whether the tampering could have occurred at the manufacturing plants. Every Tylenol bottle had a lot number that offered specific details about the batch that those capsules came from. The Kellerman and the Janus bottles contained Tylenol from Lott MC-2880. manufactured in Pennsylvania on April 26, 1982, so months earlier and in Pennsylvania. The bottles travelled to various warehouses, including a final storage stop at a dual facility

in suburban Franklin Park before being delivered to different grocery stores on different days before the poisoning. The lot numbers for the McFarland, Rainer and Prince bottles indicated they were manufactured in Texas and went to different warehouses in the Chicago area before ending up on store shelves. Right, so it's sounding now like someone's gone into the shops and done it. That's right, yeah. So within 48 hours of the murders, the task force used this information to conclude publicly that the pills could not have been poisoned during production. So Johnson and Johnson weren't, you know, there wasn't that some rogue employee was doing it.

It was that somebody was taking the bottles, adding poison, putting the bottles back. So it was random. Assistant US Attorney Jeremy Margulies said at the time, obviously Johnson and Johnson didn't put cyanide in their own products. That's clear. I'm guessing there wasn't good CCTV in these chemists because otherwise like today you'd imagine that every aisle has a camera and you could just, they would have found the person who did it.

Yeah, you would think so. They would have been like, oh, was that blurry man. That blurry man did it. The blurry man? That sounds like an ex-phositive. Yeah. It's actually, I just watched an episode about a blurry. They had CCTV footage and it was only one frame.

and it was a blur, and then they used all these new techniques to add color. To enhance. To enhance. And shape. And enhance. I recognize those colors. That's a Lederman jacket color. David Letterman?

Got him again. King of late night. So this is Jeremy Margulies again. The likelihood that the same person could have put cyanide into different batches, manufactured at different times in different places, was logistically zero. So very quickly, the manufacturer was cleared of responsibility. But Johnson and Johnson initially recalled only those products with the same batch number,

like we mentioned before. But people were terrified. Something like this had never happened before. People quickly lost their faith in the safety of their medicine, food, milk, everything. Because nothing was sealed back then. Food, nut, milk, nothing was sealed. Everything just came in an open box. It was just a box, help yourself.

Take a fistful. Fistful of milk. How many fistfuls of milk we need for the kids? Yeah, after these bottles of milk came in before, it was just buckets. Open-top buckets of milk. And you just went in and you just scooped out as much as you needed. Sorry, as I call it, the good old days. Yeah, take me back.

With fears mounting, Johnson and Johnson recalled all over-the-counter Tylenol products on October 5th, nearly a week after Mary Kellerman's death. It marked the first mass recall in US Hector. history involving more than 31 million bottles. Wow. This decision cost the company $100 million in 1982 money. They offered replacement capsules to those who turned in pills already purchased and a reward for anyone with information leading to the apprehension of the individual or people

involved in these random murders. That, I think that reward money is still up for grabs. From the New York Times, they also developed new product protection methods and iron clad pledges to do better in protecting their consumers in the future. Working with FDA officials, they introduced a new tamper-proof packaging, which included foil seals and other features that made it obvious to a consumer if foul play had transpired. These packaging protections soon became the industry standard for all over-the-counter medication. The company also introduced price reductions and a new version of their pill called the Kaplet,

which was a tablet coated with a slick, easy-to-swallow gelatin, but it was you couldn't tamper with it. It was like a solid tablet rather than the capsule. Yeah. So that just made people feel a little bit safer. And then they put it in the tamper-proof bottles. Amazingly, within a year, Tylenol sales rebounded to its healthy pass. And it became once again the nation's favorite over-the-counter pain reliever.

Critics who had prematurely announced the death of the brand Tylenol were now praising the company's handling of the matter. Rick. Rick Tylenol, you've done it again. God, he's good. An article in the Washington Post said Johnson and Johnson has effectively demonstrated how a major business

ought to handle a disaster. In fact, it's still studied in PR classes at universities because if it's generally viewed, it's generally viewed as a textbook PR master class. Wow. The way they handled it is so praised.

They're like, couldn't done any better. That's amazing. Because they put the consumer first. They took big sacrifices financially as a business, and it paid off, which is kind of cool, I guess. In 1983, the US Congress passed what was called the Tylenol bill, making it a federal offense to tamper with consumer products. And by 1989, the FDA established federal guidelines for manufacturers to make all such products tamper-proof. But yeah, prior to that, things weren't really sealed. And even now, like, not that something like this has happened in my lifetime, because I'm incredibly young.

Well, stuff has, of course, but I mean, like, I wasn't alive for this exact one. But I don't know where it came from, but I'm sort of, if a seal's not on properly on something, I'm like, I'm not sure about that. It's going on here. You know, but I didn't live through something like this. So I don't know where that came from. It must have just been taught to us, you know? But yeah, I'm always like, oh, why isn't this sealed? What's going on here?

Oh, use it anyway. Yeah, I'll still use it, of course. hopefully it's got cyanide in it but now you think about like for example panadol here it's all inside little packets and you pop it out that's right yeah and if one of those is a bit skewer if you're like

did I do that did I just knock it and kind of pierce that aluminum I'll just taste it I'll just lick this smells like an almond but is this an almond flavoured one let me check the packaging I've already taken the pill but I'll just check the packaging

that's not almond flavoured but I don't have a headache anymore Yeah, that's the least to you are. As you're floating above your body. What am I doing down there? So, yeah, I suppose that is one very, very small silver lining that I'm desperate to find in a very tragic story. Yeah, it's funny that when things like that happen and you're like,

it's like, oh, that's a silver lining. Yeah. But if those sort of things don't happen, you don't need that. Exactly. So it's a funny civil lining, it's great. So good, isn't it? That we seal everything now because seven people died. Everything's sealed in silver linings now.

How good is that? That is good stuff. Thank you. So yeah, the tragic and devastating deaths of seven innocent people that sparked fear and paranoia in the entire US and around the world prompted changes to be made that prevent something like this happening again. And that is the very sad and mysterious story of the Chicago Tylenol murders. Great way, Bob. Block number eight. Can you believe it? Wow, what a story. I can't, it's amazing that it hasn't been solved. Yeah, isn't it? Someone killed so many people and didn't face any consequences.

And yet, if that happened today, Matt's right. Like there'd be CCTV in every supermarket aisle, every chemist. Like it would be kind of easy to see who's taken some Tylenol, come back a little while later and put Tylenol back on the shelf. Yeah. You know, there'd be a lot more to go on. But yeah, there's no sort of paper trails and yeah, it's pretty messy. up.

Very messed up. Yeah. Bit of an understatement there for me. It's like pretty bad, hey. Yes. Well, that brings this to everyone's favorite section of the show. The section of the show where we get to thank our fantastic supporters who I personally think are all hot.

Mm-hmm. Something I know about women. Something I know about our Patreon supporters. Hoties. Hoties. Our women patron supporters. Extra hot. Extra hot.

Oh my God. Ouch. They're that hot. That's how hot. I just touched one. Consensually. Very hot. I just touched one.

Touch one of them. If you want to get involved, firstly make sure you're hot and then go to Patreon.com slash 2G1Pod and you can sign up on all sorts of levels. What are some of the rewards people get for signing up? They get three bonus episodes per month. Three of them. Crazy.

They get access to a Facebook group. nicest corner of the internet. They get to vote on what topics we do reports on. And they get early access to tickets to live shows. Oh, yes. And they recently got access to Matt and I, if you haven't heard, coming back to the UK in November. We're doing some stand-up and podcast shows. Yeah. I needed a couple of weeks off. So I booked you guys some shows. Thank you, so. I really appreciate that. And the, yeah, the Patreon support has got first dibs on those tickets, which they always do in a discount. And just in case you've been skisks. keeping the ad at the top of the episode.

Let me tell you about those UK shows now. We are coming to Birmingham, Glasgow, Leeds, Manchester, Bristol and London. Matt, we're doing some book sheets. We're doing some Who knew it with Matt Stewart. Each show ends with a stand-up show, so you get two tickets for the price of one. So good. Oh, wonderful. Oh, lovely.

And you can get tickets at do-go-onpod.com right now. Gosh, we'd love to see you there. Yeah. Can't wait. We've got a P. We've got a P. We've got to pay Jets back for these flights as you booked us on. Yeah, booked you some flights.

I have to book first class. Well, I wanted you only the best for my bullets. Yeah, I actually appreciate it, but we are very much in debt. Oh, my God, buy tickets. The good thing is, we only got one ticket, but the two of us in one first class chair, plenty of space. Still can't. We won't even touch each other.

We refuse. One of the other things people can get involved in is the fact quota question section. You can do that by signing up at the Sydney-Shaunberg level or above. Then you get to give us a fat, quote, or question. And this section of the show has a little jingle, go something like this. Fact quote or question. Yeah, he always remembers the ding. She always remembers the jingle.

And yeah, once you get involved, you get to give us a fact, a quote or a question, or a brag or a suggestion, or anything you like, really. You also get to give yourself a title. First up this week, we've got one from Peter Atkin, aka Lord Regent of the Third Court of the Official Parliament for representation of international do-go-on interests and issues. I got every fourth word of that. A very important role.

Sounds incredibly important. And Peter is asking a question writing, Hey guys, I have a cheeky brag which leads to a question. Ooh, love that. Me and my brothers recently completed the British Three Peaks Challenge, which is climb the tallest mountains in the three British countries in 24 hours. And it was... In 24 hours?

Yes. Amazing. That's wild. Are there only three? What does, is North Island not counted as a, I'm so confused by the UK. Maybe the island of Britain. Oh, I see.

Maybe, yeah, that's fair enough. So Wales, Scotland, and, I was forget the third one. Yeah, Northern Ireland's part of the year. Yeah. Wales, Scotland, and what is that third one? This is a small one, isn't it? It's tiny. Ah, I've lost it.

Don't, well, you know, the other, and the rest. And the rest. Peter goes on What would you guys say Is this an Aussie abroad What would use guys say Was the most challenging challenge You've ever done

Be it physical, mental Or perhaps other Thanks so much for the constant laughter And good vibes Also York isn't as posh As those leads lot like to say But is it as handsome As we like to say

Hampson? But is it as handsome We are so hampsome Based on those three big Viking brothers that we met one time. They were so hamsem. Hamsem, those beautiful hampsom men. It feels like you make it fun of me, but I don't understand how. So the question is what's the most challenging thing we've done?

I would say, because I've done a challenge, which is for the Guinness World Records longest ever variety show. That's right. I think I got a Facebook reminder that was eight years ago this month that Adam Knox and I, as part of the Melbourne Fringe Festival, attempted to host the world's longest variety show. And the rules were, as hosts, we could only do five minutes in between each act,

and no act could go longer than 10 minutes. And I stay way under from memory. How many seconds were left on the clock? We were basically tackling Matt off the stage, because the song goes over 10 minutes, you get to qualify. I just, I was, you know, I was doing pretty well, so I didn't want to just get off the stage. Ah, when you're crushing.

I was mid-bit, and Knox bear hugged me off the stage. Were you involved in that, Boppa? Nah. This before my time. Before your time. But yeah, I think it went for about 13 and a half hours or something like that. It broke the record. Unfortunately, before it got verified by Guinness, someone else in New York did an even longer one.

What a piece of shit. So I mean, never fully qualified. I'm so sorry, Dave. The big apple. And you never thought to try again? I mean. They beat it by a long way from memories. I think they went to 22 hours or something.

Okay. And you never thought to try again. Again, like, I just answer the question. It was just so much admin. Yeah, it's a lot. It was so much. It's a lot. What about you, Bop have you ever?

ever been challenged? I don't think so. You find life pretty easy. I don't. Pretty breezy. Anything that seems challenging, I don't try. Okay. It's not that I find life easy.

I find small tasks awful. Right. What about that leg press record you hit? Yeah, it wasn't a challenge though. No, that was easy. That was easy. Whatever. Yeah, I can't think of anything that's been.

I mean, of course, of course I've done things that are challenging. I can't think of anything. I think because I'm comparing it to like climbing three mountains. Yes. I'm like, nah, I've done anything like that. I've got the mountains here. So in Scotland, it's Ben Nevis.

That's the tallest one. I've heard of him. 1,345 meters. Okay, I don't know what that means. Well, for scale, Kosoiosko, we all know how tall that is. That's 2,200 meters. So it's smaller than Kosovoisko. And I've done Kosovoz.

Yeah. And then you go down to England. That's the other one, Matt. But you would have driven up. Or do you walk from the base of Mount Kosovoz. Yeah, I've never done that. It's like, there's a trail. It's not that hard.

Well, I was a child. But even as a kid, I was like, as a teen, I was like, this isn't that hard. Like, I've been to the top of Mount Buffalo, but like driving to a car park and then walking the last, you know, half an hour or something. Yeah, yeah, it's like it's, it would be hours long though, right? I don't even remember it. It didn't feel like it was that bad. Yeah, right.

I did it as a teenager. Did you go past Swiggin's Hole? Probably. Or whatever it's called, Smiggin's hole. Would I do it again now, though? No, because I don't like a challenge. No. And, but that doesn't sound like that one was one.

Yeah, but I was, you know, when you, you know, like kids just. run all day and you're like how are you doing that i you know i was a teenager that's probably fit red cordial now i'm like nah stuff that you and so then england it's scaffold pipe england yeah that's the other one are 978 meters then 978 meters yeah okay and then there's wales which is snowed and which is just over a thousand meters i'm on mount neeran dot com and they say the 24 hour challenge it the walking distance is 23 miles that's how much far you walk That's a long way. You drive 450 miles, which takes 10 hours in itself.

Oh, wow. Wow. So you're probably up for 24 hours, I reckon. That's wild. And just, like, it's not just, and it's obviously not flat walking either. That's a long walk. Yeah, 23 miles. Let alone walking diagonally up and down hill, yeah.

Wow. That's redonculus. Apparently, this other website says that all up, it's 13 hours of trek, 10 hours of driving. Nah. So 23 hours. Get it done. Wow. Matt, we're going to be there soon.

Do you want to do it? No. You don't have the time, but I don't think. Coward. Absolutely, Coward. I wish you could. Otherwise, I'd do it. I've booked in too many shows for you.

You can't do it. I'd like to, I'll do the three Irish pub challenge. I'll go to an Irish pub in each of Wales, Scotland. And what was it? Was Ireland? No. No. No, that's not Ireland.

Silly. Is that small one? That doesn't matter. No, it is an island. That's what I'm thinking of. That's right. Yeah. I don't know.

I've done a few fun runs. I think the furthest one I ever did was like 15Ks. And that felt like shit the whole time. They're not fun runs. I felt that challenging. I want to get back into them because I felt good afterwards. And I'm feeling a bit like a slob this year. So I should just book it in and do it.

That's an awesome effort. Well done, Peter Atkin. Yeah, amazing. Impressive. And next up I love to thank Erica, who is also known as Yehor Queen. Oh, say it properly. Yehor queen? Yeah, but like, like perform it.

Oh, yehaw queen. Okay. How would you do it? Yee ha queen. Oh, yeho queen. That was my first go. I know. Matt doesn't respond well to direction.

That's right. And this comes from, so Erica writes, this, bracket, Fun, Jess, Bueller. Fact comes from, comes on the history. of listening to the Fab Mission Impossible episode. And remembering the time that Jeremy Ranner broke both of his arms.

One may assume he did this while filming Avengers or Born Legacy or even Mission Impossible movies. But no, no, he did this while filming the cinematic masterpiece tag. I've said tag. Yeah, I've seen tag. You've seen tag? No. It's a romp.

Yeah. It's a great airplane movie. Yeah, a great plane movie. It's a group of friends who have an ongoing game of tag. Based on a true story. Through their entire lives. During a scene where he climbed up a stack of chairs 20 feet high to escape being tagged boys' friends. The rigging failed and his arms went snap.

Anyway, he returned to filming that same scene again on the same day and they had to CGI his casts out. Then he had to go shoot with his bow and arrow as Hawkeye. Cheers to a legend. because he did go on but more importantly cheers to you,

legends, thank you for all you do. Erica, thank you, Yeha, Queen. No, Yehaw Queen.

Oh my God. Is that a better performance? No. It's not worse. How are you getting worse at this? Yeho Queen. Yes, there it is.

Oh, that helped. I just did some boot scooting before it. Yeah, yeah. That did help. Yeah, for the listeners at home, we turned the marks off for two hours. Matt did some boot scooting. We just find it brings out the best in him.

I put Steps Club 7 on and I... Steps Club 7. My boot scooting, baby, driving me crazy. My obsession from a messian. Samaday's. Rodeo, Romeo. Not to find it an end the no. 9.

5, 6, 7, 8. Amy C from M.A. is next up. Okay. Embarma sands ass packing, because if you know what you're doing, it's really unnecessary. The ass packing. If you know what you're doing. Okay. She's calling it, it's amateur hour.

Yeah, it's ass packers. Amy's got a suggestion, which is, keep up the excellent work. This is the podcast that got me through 2020 and 2021 and thus far in 2022, when I didn't see my family for almost a year because I'm actually a funeral director and imbarma. Okay. No. It was not kidding. No.

Wow. I wonder if it truly is amateur hour to pack asses. I wonder, I imagine that wouldn't have been a fun episode to listen to. Because you'd be like, oh, that's not quite right. I do find the people who dislike episodes are usually someone who are very close to it. Either they're a big fan of something. Riverdance. Or otherwise.

My mother was diagnosed with a type of cancer in 2018, making a, a high-risk person once the pandemic became reality. In order to keep her safe and healthy as possible and keep doing my job when needed most, we decided as a family that I wouldn't visit anyone in person until safe to do so. Oh, that's hard. So brutal. 2020 turned out to be a year full of hate and anger toward funeral directors. Really?

Wow. And I imagine a lot of other people too, which isolated me even more than most. being able to tune into your humorous dynamic and silly antics consistently every week meant I could keep serving families in an empathetic and compassionate way that didn't reflect the heinous amount of bullshit that wasn't my fault God, that's awful.

I can't believe that. No. Yeah, wow. But I was being forced to deal with thankfully regardless. My financial support is long overdue and finally brought to you by Matt saying Pussy needs a dickon on some episode several months, but if you, Matt, hopefully, could also say

Barbados in that special way. I don't know, a special way. I think you just did it. No, I don't know if I can do it in a spot. I can just say it out. It is Barbados in that special way, I did just re-listen to the Bermuda Triangle episode. Do you remember that one, Matt?

It was a good one. Yeah, I remember. I made some money for charity that day. Yes, yes, you did. What an episode. Bravely. Bravely. but most recently by Michelle Brazier naming a drink the 9-11 which was frankly long overdue as well

you're all marvellous don't change a thing do you remember pussy needs a dickon I don't I don't remember that at all and it feels like but I can imagine your regret face immediately after saying it pussy needs a dickon the context of that would really that a lot of that depends on context but I think in any context that feels like a good and cool thing to say cool things to say pussy needs a dickon. Should we get teachers made? Good and cool. As we always say.

Pussy needs a dickon. That's at least a sticker. Yeah, fantastic. So funny, like, yeah, no recollection of that at all. Thank you very much, Amy C. From M.A., so sorry that you went through that. That sucks. On top of being isolated from your family.

I know, yeah. I had a few friends who were kind of doing the same thing with sick parents. So that is really tough. And it's, I mean, It's really lovely that we brought you any kind of joy. That's really nice, Amy. Thank you for sharing that with us. And finally, this week for the fact quote of question section,

Scott Turner, aka visitor experience manager of the semi-aquatic museum of niche sports. Okay. He's offered us a fact writing first-time fact-quote or question submitter. Hey team, I'm going to share a fact, but I'll slip in a brag before I do. After listening to the show for a long time, I recently got a new job as the visitor experience manager of a children's museum here in Washington, D.C. I get to go to work each day and combine my passions for education, accessibility and performance to improve the experience of the children and families that come to the museum. The increase in salary has enabled me to support the show, which is why you're hearing from me. To the fact.

Congratulations on the new gig. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds so cool. Matt, as a diverse sports fan, I wanted to share a sport that I love that you might find interesting. That sport is swim run. Sorry to laugh. I just sounds like someone's panicked when trying to get a new sport.

Swim, run. Swim running. What is it? You swim and then run in the water. I'm so glad you asked Dave. Jess is basically... Do I nail it? Oh, I haven't read ahead yet, but I'm guessing.

Let's find out. Let's find out if I'm out there. It's a fusion of trail running and open water swimming where athletes traverse water, where athletes traverse whatever comes their way, often taking place on an archipelago. Sorry for the geography, Jess. You hate it. You hate any. I don't know the fucking idea what that is. What is?

It's like a lot of little islands. Yeah. Dave doesn't know. Is Indonesia an archipelago? It doesn't matter. Yeah. It's my impression of Dave. It's islands.

Isn't it? Yeah. Is Japan an archipelago? What a beautiful... I just like saying it. It's fun to say. But I won't say it. Don't yell at your iPods.

Dave, you can... When I finish this, can you explain? There is a Japanese archipelago. The Philippine archipelago. The Meldives. The Galapagos Islands. Okay. Canary Islands.

Indonesia. The Hawaiian Islands are all examples. Damn it. And I'm sure that's there. I just haven't... Um... So, it goes on to say... Great Indonesia Archipelago.

Okay. Thank God. We saved a few iPods there. People are smashing them against brick walls. Athletes run in teams of two to the end of an island, jump in the water, swim to the next, and repeat until the finish line. Talking about challenges before. This seems like an epic challenge. I just, I don't, good for you.

I love people who love to do these sorts of challenges physically. me absolutely not right because it feels like it sounds like such a beautiful place but it would be hard to take much of it in visit it like just go on holiday uh that's my challenge holiday i'd also i feel like i open water swimming with a lot of people around when you're already knackered from running that just sounds like a bit nightmarish to me don't tell you i got seasick in the water oh like in the water I'm snorkeling around is it similar to crying people can't tell you doing it when you're under water? No, you could tell when I was vomiting into the water.

Yeah, I think because suddenly fish were all around me. Oh, chum. You were chumming it. I was chumming it. But for you, Matt, is the water your safe place? Yeah. Well, not get in there with me then. Doesn't they do safe around bot.

You swim in your shoes, run in special wet suits. Often the water is very cold, climb slippery rocks and run through incredible terrain. I invest a great deal of my time in training for this sport, and it pays. off this year as I won my first ever race as an endurance athlete. The best part about this crazy sport. It began as a drunken bet by some friends living near the Swedish archipelago and has been growing ever since. Might make a great topic.

That's cool. I hope that wasn't dry. Thanks for the laugh. Scott, well done, Scott, congratulations. See, that's the thing. I find that so cool and so impressive and I love people who have that kind of dedication to things.

It's just not something I could ever even fathom, but that is so cool, Scott. Good job. Amazing. Yeah, I love it. Sounds, I think it would be an awesome thing to watch even, you know, because of the scenery and stuff. Yeah. Again, you could just go on holiday.

Triathlon or whatever. Yeah. Just sit back and watch. Just go watch him. Some swim run. Some swim run. Swim run. Swim run.

Swim run. Even though it does sound like you usually start on land. Thank you so much to Scott, Amy, Erica and Peter. We also shout out to a few other of our great supporters, Bob normally. and you normally come up with a bit of a game. That's true. A little hard with this one being about some poisoning murders. This is one of our heroes from.

We go to Helen. Helen's great, Helen Jensen. What's something, maybe something that they would have solved if people listen to them. Oh. You know, like... Yeah, okay, yeah. Okay, great. That's fun.

Well, first up, from Address Unknown, I can only assume from somewhere deep within the fortress. the moles. It's Melissa C. Rubik's Cube. If only people had listened. She said clockwise, damn it! And they went anti-clockwise. Well, they think you.

They still, to this day, have not solved a Rubik's cube. Fools. Melissa C. Melissa C went out on her own, stomped her feet, got her own Rubik's Cube. She said, look, just do it like this and they're like, they're like, what are you talking about? That doesn't look right.

Sorry, you're so shrill. Did you move the stickers around or what? So you haven't jumbled it. yet, okay. That's what I'm hearing, is you bought it freshly made. Oh, that's the key. Oh, yeah. Never jungle. Thank you very much, Melissa.

And I'm so sad that they didn't listen. See, of course, standing for Cube. Yeah. Melissa's middle name is Rubik's. Next up. We really should have listened. Do you think Rubik's is a beautiful name for a boy or girl? Yeah.

Absolutely. That's nice. You got Ruby. Let's Rubix. I think it was juzzed up Ruby a little bit there, if anything. Rubik's. And you've got Ruby for short if you want to. anyway.

That's nice. Good to give a kid options. Or Bix. Bix. Bickey. Bickey. X. Bicco.

Next, I'd love to thank from Toledo in Ohio in the United States. God's country. It's Justin Coy. Justin Coy. What could he have prevented if people listen to him? Dave. He could have prevented. He's looking around the room.

World War II. Whoa. Only people had listened. Are you serious? He was saying, don't invade Belgium. And Hitler was like, Stand aside Justin Coy. Really?

Yeah. Oh my God. I had no idea. Of course, Coy by name, Coy by Nature. He was like, okay. Wow, yeah, that's what Coy is. Because we did World War I. Belgium was very key there as well.

It was, it fully just to repeat again. We should get her. Oh, no, I think you're Poland. Poland, I thought it was Poland. I don't know that for sure, but people who talk about Poland a bit. Yeah, but he also was there saying World War I. He was trying to stop World War I as well. They were only Justin Coy.

Yeah. He said to Franz Ferdinand, no, no, don't turn down this street. That's the wrong street. You're going to get shot and you're going to kick off World War I. And France Ferdinand said, what are you talking about? You're going to take me out. Get this man. Thank you very much to Justin.

The next person I'd love to thank is from Alexandria in ABC in Great Britain. Wow, I wonder where ABC is. That's Sean Parfory. Sean Parfery Parfery is a beautiful name Beautiful name And if only would listen When Sean told us

That the Hindenberg Yeah Should never be built He said Don't No don't He slapped it and said

This should never be built And they're like what it is It's already there It's taking off You're touching it Yeah In fact you're attached to it You're flying

You're flying Don't let go actually You're flying this airship. You're the captain. You're the pilot. So I don't care that you think it should never have been. You just need to pay attention.

He's like, it should go up. It'll come back down. He's like, yeah, that's the plan. That's the point at its destination. We don't want it to fly forever. He's like, no. In flames. He tried.

Great work, Sean. Thanks, Sean. He just didn't understand every sentence. They misunderstood it. You can really just interpret things however you want to. In flames, heroic flames. Yeah. Metaphoric flame, sure.

Flames of glory, sure. Jess, would you like to thank a few people? Matt, nothing would bring me more joy. Me neither. I would love to thank from Rising Sun in Maryland, MD. Rising Sun. How nice is that? I would love to thank. Shelby. Shelby, could have, if only had listened,

my IKEA couch would have four legs instead of three. Shelby warned you. But I said, I don't need this and I threw it out. Now my couch. And Shelby said, Dave, you're going to need that. That's a fourth leg for your couch. And I said, this is a spare leg. Couchers only have three.

I threw it out and then I sat on it. Yeah. And I realized Shelby was right. Topled. But the garbage truck was driving down the street. Which leg was it? Back left. Back left.

Didn't think that was important. As you're sitting on or as you're looking at a couch? I know, of course. It's important. It's back to establish. It's couch stage left. Okay. That doesn't answer.

I don't get it. Stage left. It always confused me. Anyway, so that's interesting, Dave. So to look at the couch, it probably still looks fine. Looks fine, but you should not sit on that couch under any circumstances. Can you still sit on the right side? Yeah, but the dog chat there.

Okay. This doesn't sound like a good couch. Oh, no, it's not a good couch. I really should have listened to Shelby. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, thank you, Shelby. I would also love to thank from Gould. Ooh!

Coming up to Halloween. Very appropriate. I would love to think Holly Franklin. More like Holly Frankenstein. That's good stuff. It's actually Frankenstein's monster. Oh, Gould, not that far from Leeds, east of Leeds. Goal has the Gull Museum.

Okay. And a Tesco and an Argos. What kind of ghouls do they have there? Hot ones. Hot ghoul. Hot ghoul. My favorite kind of ghouls. And what could have been avoided if we just listened to Holly Franklin?

If only listened to Holly Franklin, we would have been able to avoid climate change. Damn. Step aside, Al Gore. Holly Franklin was making TED Talks long before you were, my friend. More like Al Gould. Gould. Yeah, if only we'd listen, honestly, this is probably the most important one since the couch. Yeah.

Yeah. About the dog shout on. Holly's been saying for ages Hey This isn't good Hey we should Yeah This isn't good

Hey guys Nah Guys for reals This isn't good Holly just doesn't use Alamas language Yeah They're just

Bit chill Yeah A bit too chill And I think that's like people Were a bit dismissive Yeah So a lesson for Holly there as well To I guess be more assertive

So yeah We all have things to learn here anyway Holly have you tried Stomping your feet Holly Yeah yell And stop your feet

feet and then they'll listen. Finally for me, I would love to thank from Caloundra West in Queensland, Australia. It is Emily. Oh, Emily. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that we didn't listen to you in particular. This was something that Emily, remember when Emily messaged us, Dave, just before we made that big blunder?

Oh my goodness. Such a big blunder. Yeah, what was it again? We ordered the wrong colour paint. for our office you idiots yeah like so one wall's pink

and the other one is slightly less pink yeah looks terrible it's awful what a blunder Emily's like yeah

and that's why you guys have been fired for that blunder pink feature walls you can't have four feature walls yeah four slightly not

discolored all of a sudden if you have all if you have all feature walls none of them are feature walls well then we we were saying

you're the feature then you're the feature Yeah We don't want the walls to get all the attention That's right We want to have the attention Look at me

We want people to walk into our office and go Wow Look at that! You're really popping off that wall Yeah We want really ugly walls So we look hotter in comparison Is that too much to ask?

I don't think it is But we should have listened to Emily Dave do you want to thank some people Hey so I'm on the Gould Museum website Oh it's free entry everyone 6,000 images of Gull Apparently on display We should go to Gould Museum, Dave and we're over there.

All right, let's put on the list. I'm also so keen when we're in Glasgow, up in Scotland, obviously. A little bit east from there, we can go to a museum that has a Concord. Oh. Wow. Man, I want to get on that thing. I was sure you were going to talk about the Penn Museum. Oh, that's in Birmingham.

Take me to the Penn Museum. So many things on the list. Hey, I'd like to thank, wow, this is great. Jesse, you're getting jealous, listening to this itinerary? We're going to go at Gull Museum, the Penn Museum, and then right on. I had a flong cord. I'm going to tie on a flung cord.

Goodbye. It's not too late, Jeff. Yeah, I think I'm going to go quit my job. So I can come. I think it's too late. My favorite comment was when we said we're doing the podcasts and that each show will feature us two and a special guest and so on wrote, I hope the special guest is Jess.

Honestly, I'd be disappointed if nobody was like, why is it Jessica? Where's Jess? I'd be a little hurt So I'm glad somebody was like I hope it's Jess But imagine it is But we just didn't announce you

You flew me in for one That is pretty fun That would be fun Put you on the phone cord We did Do you know the song cord But yeah Obviously we wanted Jess to be there

Don't lie to them Hey I'd love to thank some people as well Obviously I want to just be there Dave is mad at me Well you Let me paint that feature wall It looks fucking terrible Hey I'd like to thank from

This is a fantastic place Mechanicsburg Oh. In Pennsylvania? Philadelphia. What is this? Penn Museum. The Penn Museum.

Let me look this up. Mechanicsburg. In Pennsylvania. It's Brennan Dickerson. Holy shit. That's such a good name. That is such a great name. Brennan Dickerson.

It's unfair because we know that our supporters are hot, but it's unfair that they also have the best names. It's really, it's not fair. And they also have good personalities. Yeah. Come on. How can you have it all? Normally you can't have it all. Oh.

Not in Brennan Dickerson's case. No, that's good. You know what I always say? This pussy needs a dickerson. What has Brennan saved or could have saved if we listened? Matt from that awkward joke. That's right. Brennan got to tap down the shoulder. Matt ran it past Brennan first and Brennan went, no, I don't think it'll fly.

I don't think Jess will support you on that joke, which she should have done. I think she'll just stare at you and let you sit in the moment for a bit. She thought that would be funny. So I reckon don't even bother. But Matt didn't listen. And he went for it anyway and I let him fall. Was the panicked call? I didn't catch him.

We just quickly, they wouldn't have noticed, but we quickly paused the recording because I was getting a call. Oh, from Brennan Dickerson. Yeah. Okay, I'll take it. Well, this is highly unusual. Brennan, we're in the middle of a recording. Is everything okay?

Brennan, where are you? For those, the small niche of listeners who remember, remember the Warwick Kappa tapes from Get This. Look it up. Enjoy yourself. Warwick, where are you? Brennan Dickerson, fantastic. And I'm so sorry.

I really should have listened to you there. And I apologize that I did not. We could edit it out, but no, I've done it. And I have to do some of the consequences. Yep, live with yourself. I would also love to thank from Waterloo in New South Wales. It's Cam. Cam.

Cam. Yes, what did Cam? What could Cam have prevented? What could Cam have prevented? If only they listened. The, you know, the 2000 Olympic Games opening ceremony when Kathy Freeman lit the cauldron and there was like the bit of a mechanical error and it just sort of hung there for a little bit.

Big pause. Cam actually, he saw that being a potential problem and suggested a few easy things they could have done to ensure that did not occur and it happened anyway. What? They didn't listen. They should have listened. They should have listened.

Cam, I would have listened. Yeah. You know what you're talking about? Well, they didn't. Well, next time. Next time the Sydney Husty Olympics, I'm sure they'll listen. And I would finally like to thank from Worcester in Great Britain, Kevin Sanders. Kevin Sanders.

Kevin Sanders. Do you want me to do this final one? Yeah, if you've got, if you know, I don't know, this one. Well, I know it, but it's just so frustrating that people didn't listen because Kevin Sanders said to the producers on Hay Hey, Hey, at Saturday, the world's moved on from Blackface. And Darrell Summers jumped in and he said, I don't think so. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. And they had the Jackson Jive perform in Blackface on Australian national TV in prime time in maybe like 15 years ago.

Yeah, I'm looking it up when that was, because it was too recently. But luckily, Harick Connick Jr. was there. Honestly, if he wasn't there, I don't think anyone would have known that it was not right. I think it was in 2009.

Okay, less than 15 years ago. So, yeah, if only, they took that call seriously from Kevin Sanders. Yeah, I don't know why that came to mind. And I can't regret bringing the grimness back. Anyway, thank you so much, Kevin, Cam, Brennan, Emily, Holly, Shelby, Sean, Justin and Melissa. We really appreciate it. And hopefully people listen to you in the future and they've all learned their lessons.

You deserve to be heard. Yes. The last thing we like to do is bring in a few people into the Triptage Club. Now, to get involved in the Triptage Club, you've just got to sign up and support us. for three straight years on the shoutout level or above. And basically what it is, a bit of theater of the mind. You get your lifetime membership by doing that. I'm standing on the door.

I've got the velvet rope, ready to lift it up. I've got a clipboard with your names on it, the guest list. Two names on the list this week. Jess, you're normally in there behind the bar. Are you serving cocktails this week? Absolutely not. None of these alcohol bottles were sealed. And so I've thrown them all out.

Okay. And I ordered fresh sealed bottles, but they have not arrived in time. So you can have water. Yep. I've probably got some apple juice at the back of the fridge somewhere. Sealed? Oh, yeah, that's sealed. I got some long life milk.

Okay. Sealed. But yeah, apart from that. I will be serving seal, though. Okay. A delicacy. Oh. The singer.

Baby sealed. I've killed Seal. You've clubbed them to death. I've clubbed the sea. sing a seal to death. Wow. And so we will be having that. Okay.

Interesting. And Dave, you normally book a band? Yes, we have booked. It wasn't a double booking here. My goodness, it wasn't seal.

That's next week. So I'm going to have to really go back to... Yeah, I'm to scramble there, my friend. My emails, but I am... He will not be responding.

I have booked Chicago's own The Smashing Pumpkins this week. Wow. That's right. The world is a vampire. Oh, they love a ghool. They love a ghool. Awesome. Oh, that's fantastic.

And yeah, I don't think there's anything else we need to do, apart from welcome in our two brand new guests. Dave's up on the stage. He's emceeing the show, the welcome party. Everyone who's already in is there, chanting along with these names. Dave, you're ready to go? You're ready to hype these people up?

I am so ready to rock. Because Dave is a bit low in confidence. Jess is standing right behind him. Hype him up. Hiping him up as required. Lift him up sometimes when he can't reach. things. Thank you.

So, a little boost. First up, I'd love to welcome into the Trip Ditch Club from Houston, Texas in the United States. It's Eli Fisher. I went fishing and I caught a good one. It's Eli Fisher. Real am it!

That's awesome. And finally from Mawson Lakes in South Australia, it's Amanda Mullen. Oh, I've been mulling it over and you know what? I want you to come on down, Amanda. Woo, woo, woo, woo. Reel event. Please say that every time. Welcome into the club Amanda and Eli.

Make yourselves at home. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode. Jess, is there anything we need to tell people before we go? That we love them. And that anybody can suggest the topic. There is a link in the show notes. It's also on our website. Do GoOnpod.com.

That's where you can find all of our podcasts. You can look at pictures of us. You can buy merch and you can get tickets to live shows, which of course Matt and Dave have coming up. And we also, I don't even mentioned on the show yet, but we're doing a Christmas episode in Melbourne. Yes, that's true. It's good that we leave it to the very last second to plug that.

But yes, we've got a Christmas show coming up in December. At Comedy Republic. On the second of December, it's going to be a lot of fun. It was like, I think there's the first time we're mentioning it publicly, but it's already over half sold just from Patrons because they get the pre-sales, as we mentioned. If you want to be involved with the Patreon, you can go to Patreon.com slash do you go on Pod.

Now, Dave, I think that's time to beat this baby home. That's it. Hey, we'll be back next week with another episode. I believe it's my report, the seventh topic on our block-tobre countdown. What could it be? Even bigger than the Tylenol murders. We'll find out next week. I'll be back.

And until then, I'll say thank you so much. And goodbye. Later. Bye. Real living. Real estate. Hey, how hot are women? Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are

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