Do Go On - 365 - The Apollo 13 Space Disaster

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

Just two days into the Apollo 13 mission the command module suffers an unexpected and catastrophic explosion. All alone and 330,000 kilometres from Earth, the three astronauts on board must now fight for their lives... their mission to the Moon has just become the most daring survival mission in human history.This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 08:00 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report) Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/  Submit a topic idea directly to the hat here: Check out our new merch Check out our AACTA nominated web series here: Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:13 Minutes to the moon13 Factors that saved Apollo 13https://nasa.fandom.com/wiki/John_Aaronhttps://history.nasa.gov/SP-4029/Apollo_13a_Summary.htm https://www.thehistoryreader.com/historical-figures/jim-lovell/ https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/apollo/missions/apollo13.htmlhttps://www.nasa.gov/feature/50-years-ago-houston-we-ve-had-a-problem Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenjai Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnikey and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins.

Hello, David. Hello, Matt. I wasn't done singing. It is my favorite time of the week. It's time to record a podcast with my friends. I love it. I did not know. Sorry, there is actually a trumpet solo man.

If you could pipe down. I didn't know you played. That's beautiful. Thank you. So you can play the trumpet whilst miming a trombone. That's very impressive. Yeah. I'm pretty clever.

Well, isn't it nice to be alive? Even more so after that beautiful rendition of that, an original track? An original, yes. Fantastic. Yeah, straight from the top of my dome. Improvised. Yeah, I've got no idea what I said. Wow.

And there's no way for me to listen back to it and find out and replicate it in the future. Jess, can I say this to you? Please. Happy Block. Oh, and to you. Dave, you look well. There's nothing colder than a compliment. Dave and I've recently broke it up and we're keeping it civil for the listeners,

aka our children. I've started with a weird energy. I'm putting them first. I'm sorry, yeah, you must. You're putting our listeners first. Before my children. My unborn children. Oh, wow.

That's right, everyone. How far along are they? It's full on. Some of them. like 80. Really? This is a very bizarre start to this episode. What a strange podcast.

For new listeners, before they turn off, I'd love to explain to you how this works. So one of the three of us goes away and researches a topic, often from history. Well, I guess they're all from history. One way or another. Yeah. It's all stuff that's happened. Yeah. Some of it recent history, some of it very ancient.

Exactly. And then we bring that research back. And in the form of basically like an old school report and we do an oral presentation of the other two, They listen, sometimes, you know, take it for a little walk, go on some tangents. Frustrate new listeners. Yeah, we frustrate them. Stick to the topic. Stop frustrating me.

Oh, I'm so frustrated. All your interruptions are frustrating. All right. I think I thought, I'm going to jump in. I reckon I can explain it this week. It turned out I couldn't. Jess, can you explain block though for people? Block, absolutely.

It is Blockbuster Tofa Grace month. There was something. There's another word in there. Period. It is Blocktober. It is our Blockbuster month, which we've now sort of turned into two months. We use October and November to bring you our most requested topics. Our patrons get to vote as well.

And these are the top. No, everyone gets to vote. Everyone gets to vote. This is a public vote. Yeah, you're right. Sorry, I forgot that. Thousands and thousands of voters. So many votes, they've spoken about the topics.

They wanted to hear for this most sacred time of year. That's right. So we are doing our top non. mine most requested and voted on topics. It's huge. We've had some pretty big blocks. And this one, no different. Yeah, some people are saying the biggest block ever.

Some people are saying that. I have taken that very literally this week. I've been just around the streets and stuff. I'm not listening in to people, but I just can't help but notice hearing the question asks, I what are you doing for block this year? Yeah, there's a buzz, isn't it? There's a real buzz.

Yeah. But Dave, you're doing the seventh most. voted for topic of our blockbuster topics, our most requested topics. And yeah, we normally get onto the topic with a question. Dave, do you have a question for us today? Here we go. My question is, Houston, we have a problem. Is a punched up Hollywood misquote from what real life space disaster?

Oh, that's a Hollywood punched up re-quote. Well, I reckon I heard it in Tom Hanks' film. Apollo 13. Big. I just wanted to get the point. Somebody said when he fell over on that giant piano. We got a problem here. I'm being electrocated.

Houston. Houston. The store manager's name was Houston. He had to come over and help him. Why does that child know a store manager by name? It's a confusing dynamic. I come here too often. I know the manager.

Sorry, man. I jumped on your joke there. Or you're a very real answer. I'm not sure. Because I was desperate to get the point because I felt like I actually knew the answer for once. You are correct. You do get the point.

It is Apollo 13. The Apollo 13 Space Disaster is my report this week. Did I almost say Apollo 11? Yeah. It was already done that, haven't I? I know. I wonder if he's going to talk about Apollo 12. The missing link.

I will talk about Apollo 12. Hooray! Missing link because... That's one that isn't talked about. Well, until today. This topic, though, Apollo 13, not Apollo 12, has been suggested by a bunch of people. And thank you to Adam Darbyshire,

Sarah Groom, Ben, William Young, Cat, Antonia Daly, Jared Brazel. Brazel-dazzle. Jesus, that's good. It's Brazil pronounced like Frazzle with a bee, he said. Thank you so much, Jared. Anytime you've got a name, you think I might stuff up, love that. Love it.

Andrew Mallard, Oliver Wardle. Oliver Wardle. Wardle. Great. That's an adorable name. That's so cute. It's like Waddle. That's so good.

We've got Claire, Kirsten Gleason, Alicia or Alicia Moore. in bracket slish. Peter Holberton. And that's it. Wow. I think Wardle's the surname of the guy who invented wordle. Wardle. I love it.

I've also never really thought about how Waddle is, what's it, what's it called? Like a duck. What's it called when a word sounds like what it is? On a matipede. Thank you. I thought it was and I took myself out of it. Do you think Waddle? Waddle, Waddle, Waddle, Waddle.

Whittle Waddle. Waddling is cute. Is there another word for that where it's like it's not quite a sound, but it's just a, it's so apt, like dawdling as well. You know, you're dawdling along. A very descriptive word. It's so good. Sounds like it's actually.

I love words. I have a doodle. Have a doodle. Well, let me give you a bit of background on the Apollo missions. Because it's been a long time since we've talked about Apollo 11, which I believe I talked about way back on episode seven. Oh, wow. Are you serious?

God, we started big, didn't we? Is that a coincidence? This is the seventh most requested topic. You did it on episode seven. I have a seventh. It's funny because if it's anybody else, you just let it go. But when it's you, I'm like, I'm going to fucking get you on this. I'm going to roast this prick.

If anybody else says it, I'm like, I completely understood what they're saying there. Unless they've used the completely wrong word or something and it gives us a whole new meaning, I'll let it go. With you, any tiny mess up. And I'm like, oh, you think you got away with that prick? Absolutely not. Now, I've already forgotten what you said, but I'm like a fucking god even. So, yeah, I talked about that in December 2015, can you believe it.

Wow. I think this is my third, because I also did the Challenger Space disaster. So just the way the block photo has worked out that I'm doing the space one. You're our space guy. I love space. Space, man. I mean, do you have a planet tattooed on you? Yes.

Oh. Uranus. It's like butt. It just generally does have... I do have satin. Saturn. Because it's my favourite because it's got bling. Yeah.

And she has it tattooed on her anus. No, it's your anus. I have that tattoo. She's got a tattoo on my anus. Matching. Matching. His and hers. His and hers anuses.

Matt is bigger. Tattoo. Tattoo. Tattoo. It's to scale on the butt. Okay. Background on Apollo. In May, 1961.

Another former topic. President John F. Kennedy committed America to landing astronauts on the moon by 1970. It was called the Apollo Program. And it was the third United States human space flight program carried out by NASA. Uncrued missions testing Apollo and the powerful Saturn 5 rocket that would blast astronauts to the moon began in February, 1966. A year in which nothing else happened. Nothing else happened. It was a big year for that and that alone.

I think Tony Lockett, the plugger, that was. The greatest ever goal kicker in AFL VFL history was born that year. And he went on to play for the Saints who won their one and only premiership. God, he's good. In the year 1966. I'll pay that. Chicago Bulls also formed that year. England won the World Cup.

A few things happened. Hey, Jess, you weren't joking when he said you always have a go on me for mispronouncing things. But Dave just said NASA, not Naysa. Oh my God. That is embarrassing, actually. And you just let it slide. Yeah. I'm embarrassed.

God. You're an. idiot. And I'm going to double down and continue to pronounce it wrong the entire episode. Yeah, just to lean into the joke. Yeah, that's right. That's right. To own my mistake.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, not to humor an old man. Yeah. So Apollo 1 is where it started. Ah. Which was only named in retrospect, actually. It was the first crude mission of the Apollo program with the plan. Crude. It's a bit dirty.

Yeah, that's right. You should have seen what they were doing to that thing. All the down the side, cock and balls were drawn. Yeah. Hmm, a bit crude. But the plan to orbit Earth, but unfortunately, a tragedy struck when a cabin fire during a launch rehearsal killed all three astronauts. Gus Grissom, Ed White and pilot Roger B. Chaffee. Oh, my God.

Roger B. Chaffy. So it was a rehearsal. Yes. And unfortunately, because at the time, they were operating in a pure oxygen atmosphere inside there. And then there was a spark. It caught extremely hot fire and they couldn't open the capsule door. That's awful. And because it was so hot in there.

Just instant death, hopefully. The amazing thing about these guys is, and I always find this so impressive, the positions they found them in when they got the bodies out minutes later and they were incinerated, was one of them was still sitting in the chair on the radio as protocol calls for, and the other two were trying to open the hatch. Holy shit. But imagine, like, you are on fire, but you're still doing the protocol. Like you're not panicking, you're just going, okay, I've got to do this.

And they know, oh, my God, we can't get out. out of here. Wow. They died of smoking elation. Oh, that's all. Carbon dioxide poisoning. But absolutely horrific stuff. But I'm always so impressed that these people can stay calm in no matter what the situation is. Yeah. And I know we have pretty strict podcasting protocols.

Yeah. But I want you to know if there's even, I was going to say an emergency, but not even. Just something more interesting. A bit of a hassle. I'm out. I'm out that door. You're on your own suckers. That is the protocol, though.

That's a protocol. That's a protocol. Just out first. Protocol. You go. protocol. Are she pushing Matt out the way? Excuse me, Jess out first.

Proticle. Pushing Matt into the fire. That's what you wanted. That's what Jess. She said anything interesting. And she finds fire very interesting. I love it. And of course I meant I did mean to say hatch instead of door for anyone who is really

into space. Oh, I don't actually have doors. Yeah. One of the problems is that it opened inwards. And because of the pressure of the fire, they couldn't open. It wouldn't open. Is that something they went. They changed in future.

No longer was it a pure oxygen atmosphere and then they also made it so the door could open. Okay, great. Hatch. Can you give us their names one more time? That were fantastic. Gus Grissom and he's quite a, he's a very famous. Right off the bat. So good.

Ed White. Okay. Roger B. Chaffy. Oh my God. I mean, Ed White in the company, the other two I think is great because you've got to, every, every trio is going to have a. You got to have a Michael Collins. Yeah, exactly. Yes.

So in retrospect, they named that test Apollo 1 in tribute to these three men. So that's why that's considered Apollo 1 at the time. They didn't know that. The mission was granted for 20 months and Apollo continued with Apollo 4, 5 and 6, which were all unmanned. In October 1968, Apollo 7 was the first crewed flight in NASA's Apollo program. A crew of 3 made a 163 orbit flight. It was a mission filled with bickering between the astronauts on board and the crew on the ground over the procedures. and I believe the three men inside never flew again.

Because they all the bickering. They had a big fight. Wow. So they never flew again because they were not allowed to fly again or because they were like, I'm done with that. I believe the commander had said beforehand, this is my last flight, which is also why he was a bit of, I don't give a shit.

Yeah. They were saying he didn't want to wear his helmet on the way back in as they landed because he had a sinus infection and he thought the pressure would make his eardrums explode. Oh, shit. And they said, no, you have to wear the helmet. but him and the three and his two other people didn't because he said I'm the commander my word is final what I can overrule them and they later said okay you're right oh wow so

it would have exploded his eardrums well I think they were more like you have the right to yeah wear it or not you're up there it's your health it sort of reminds me a bit of um alice the lynch's last afl game was in a grand final and he was retiring so he knew at the end of the game whatever happened he was out so he just went out swinging. He's like throwing haymakers at Darrell Wakelin who he was playing on. And like got this long suspension, but he was retiring. Oh, no, he suspended me. Oh, that sucks. I can't play for five games. Good. That's fun. Again, that'll be me. Last podcast. Yes. All fucking decked boys are off. I'm going to finally wedgey Dave.

That guy I was talking about that was Walter Skira and he was the first person. an astronaut to go into space three times. And the only astronaut to have flown in the Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo program. So I guess that's why he's like... I know what I'm talking about. Badass. And some poindexter back in Houston's trying to tell him what to do. Actually, put your helmet on.

Proticle states. Actually, if you have a good subsection B. He's like, um... How about I don't want my head to explode? That's my impression of nerds. Great spot on. Sounded just like Dave. Then there was Apollo 8, followed in December 1968.

That was the first crude spacecraft to leave low Earth orbit and the first human spaceflight to reach the moon. All I can hear now is crude. Me too. I say it every time now. That was the first. It made it to the moon. Made to the moon.

The crew orbited the moon 10 times without landing. The crew included a man. man by the name of James Lovell. And we'll talk about him a lot on this episode. That name rings a bell. James Lovell. I don't know. I'm sure I knew this somewhere deep in my brain.

But I don't think I knew that other people had gotten to the moon, just not landed on it. So they, they, but I suppose like, it would be pretty ambitious to be like, all right, first go. Let's land on it. Yeah. That's this whole thing is a build up to be the first two land on the moon because they're very much at this time competing against the Soviets. and they think the Soviets have the jump on them. Yeah. It's looking likely that they're going to do it first.

And was so, um, was it always planned to be number 11 was going to be the first one when they landed on the moon? I believe so. Yes. I think it's basically, we'll get there.

We'll go around it. We'll spend a bit longer there. So everything's going to plan basically. Yeah. They orbited so Armstrong could moonwalk. Yeah. Exactly. They roy orbited.

So, probably, crying. Yeah, Yeah, I guess that totally makes sense. I don't know why my head I was like, they just had a crack. They just went and they landed and they walked on it and it was great. I think that's because sometimes I can be a little impulsive.

Well, I'm like, ah, give it a go. You know Michael Collins, that's for sure. That's for sure. Yeah, James Lovell who will talk about apparently he was like, when they were orbiting, we're so close. Yeah, basically touch it. Let's give it a crack. Let's get down there. Yeah, that would be frustrating.

Yeah. I mean, we've come this far. Yeah. In March, 1969, NACE. Apollo 9 became the first flight of the full Apollo spacecraft, including the command and service module. Of the full of Polo Spacro. No, don't try.

Sorry, man. I want to be a bitch. You can't. You're either born a bitch or you die a bitch. Wait, is that a threat? What's it going to be? I'll kill you. What about your other born a bitch or you're Jess's bitch?

Oh, no. No, I don't like that. This kiddies got claws. I'm nice. Sometimes. Except when Matt mispronounces something. Then that prick. Oh, you son for bitch, I got you.

So, yeah, Apollo 9, it had the command service module and the lunar module. So they're getting close, which is the thing that's eventually going to land on the moon. They're getting closer and closer. And they carried out many tests critical to a landing a person on the moon service. Then there was Apollo 10 launched in May 1969. And it was described by NASA as a dress rehearsal for the moon landing. this was the second crew to orbit the moon and finally

July? 1969, you're right July 1969, Apollo 11 with Neil Armstrong Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins was of course the first crew to land and walk on the moon as I previously spoke about on episode seven go back and give it a listen

then come back to this one and then be like wow they sound so much better now and that's not I'm not even complimenting ourselves there I'm just saying we used to sound shit because of the mic set up in that thing yeah yeah it was nothing to do with us Yeah, we've got a much better setup now. Yeah.

Yeah, we've got solid walls on our pod studio. Yeah. Can't hear Auntie Donna rehearsing downstairs. Two of the walls were curtains. That's right. We were in a curtained off area. Yeah. One wall was, was it like a joint wall with a meat packing plant or something?

Yeah, that's right. Beautiful for sound quality. Then there's Apollo 12, November, 1969, which would have attempted the first lunar landing had Apollo 11 failed. So that was the backup. They had no idea of it's going to work really. Yeah. Well, they hoped for the best.

But after the success of Neil Armstrong's mission, Apollo 12 was postponed by two months. And other Apollo missions also put on a more relaxed schedule. Just chill. We've done it. Yeah, because they basically had them coming up every few months. We'll keep going until we get there.

The clock to the moon. They got there the first time they wanted to do it. Wow. Oh, great. That is impressive. Yeah. Apollo 12, despite being struck by lightning twice after launch, which caused a power surge that knocked all three fuel cells offline.

Instruments began to malfunction and telemetry data began to be garbled. Oh, that's another one. Garble. Garble. It's a word that keeps coming up in the space world. What does it mean? Say muddled. Muddled.

Like on the radio you garbled if they can't understand what you're saying. Like there's transcripts of all this stuff and it says, Neil Armstrong, garbled. Garbled. No one can work out what you're saying. Sounds like he's a bloody turkey. Neil. On the ground, they couldn't track the data of the craft, and on board, they had no power at all,

and they were running on battery power, and that wasn't enough to complete the launch. So it was looking real risky on takeoff. Flight director, Jerry Griffin, expected that he would have to abort the mission. However, one NASA engineer and fly controller had seen this obscure occurrence before one year earlier. He'd seen similar weird telemetry readings

and traced the anomaly in his own time. Afterwards, he'd gone, oh, you're going to troubleshoot this problem. I'll have a look. He found it in the obscure signal conditioning electronic system, the SCE. He was one of the few people in the world who had any recognition of this. A year earlier, he'd worked out that normal readings could be restored by putting the SE on its auxiliary setting, which meant that it would operate even with low voltage conditions,

even with low power. His name is John Aaron. John Aaron. And to quote from the NASA fandom page, that's how much of people like this guy, Aaron surmised that this setting would also return the Apollo 12 telemetry to normal. And this is all happening within seconds. They're panicking going, do I abort, do I abort? They've got like a few seconds to make the decision.

When he made the recommendation to the flight director, he said, Flight, try SCE to Orks. Most of his mission control colleagues had no idea what he was even talking about. Both the flight director and the Capcom asked him to repeat the recommendation. Peter Conrad's response to the order was, what the hell is that? Imagine that. Try SEA to Orks. They're like, what the fuck is that mean?

Have you ever in a like a situation, maybe a meeting or something? And people are throwing in some suggestions. And then you're like, I've got this one. It's just like, I don't know, they've got a problem.

I don't really know, but I'd feel silly if I don't just have a go. Yeah. And then you say something like, oh no. No. What the hell is that? What the hell is that?

I love it if this guy, they tried, it's like, no. Thanks, Aaron. The rocket explodes. Fucking Ellen. He's like, I didn't say it would work. Just getting it crashed. I thought I'd feel silly. I thought, well, just throwing out ideas.

Just chuck us the orcs cable. I would love to have a meeting with you guys and suggest something and have you both go, what the hell? What the hell is that? I don't know if this is a memory of mine or if it's like a sketch from, what's like, that I think you should leave. It feels like a sketch on that. Sorry, it's in some ridiculous suggestion. My life is very similar to that show.

Is it? Yeah. And then people tell you you should leave. Yeah, I want to crash the hot dog car. Hey, that could have been anyone. That's true. Yeah, I should say it. Not necessary.

I was there when it happened, I mean. Peter Conrad's like, what the hell is that? But he goes, all right, let's try it. Fortunately, Alan Bean, one of the astronauts on board, was familiar with the location of the SCE switch. Inside the capsule, he flipped it to auxiliar. Telemetry was immediately restored, allowing the mission to continue. Wow.

This earned John Aaron the lasting respect of his colleagues who declared that he was, quote, a steely-eyed missile man. So good. I love it. I love it. And that's a compliment in their world. Oh, he's a steely-eyed missile man. I'm having major deja vu about that.

Steely-eyed missile. Really? Yeah. Have you seen the movie of this, Apollo 13? Have you guys seen that movie? I saw it for my birthday. Okay, now, here we go. I can't, uh, was it Southland?

And I think, who was there? I saw it with James Wright. Yep. And, uh, Jonathan. I don't remember his name. Okay. Kids from school. Yeah.

Is this like your young, youngish birthday? Yeah. Would have been like 8th or 7th or something. Right. It's a pretty full-on movie for the kids. As we're going to find out the story. I was just wondering if you've seen it because in the movie I noticed in the script because I worked my report and then I hadn't seen the movie and I was like, I'll watch it.

last night. Really enjoyed it. It's a fantastic movie. But someone else is called a steely-eyed missile man. And I'm like, huh. I know what that's referencing. Even though John Aaron's in the movie, they're calling someone else that. That's bullshit. Come on. Aaron's the steely-eyed missile man according to NASA fandom. Normally I prefer a shorter nickname, but steely-eyed missile man.

Yeah. Yeah. Because that's still catchy. Yeah. How would you shorten it? Stearly-eyed missile man. What's the steel? Steal-deme. Stem. Stem.

Stem. It's good to do you. finally have a man in STEM. Thank God. Finally. Basically, because of John Aaron, who at the time was only 25 or 26 years old. Wow. They made it and three more men made it to the moon to walking on its surface.

Isn't it always impressive when somebody, like you hear the age of somebody like that and you're like, 25, working at the bloody NASA? Oh, I can't know. And then you realize that there are just like people out there who are impressive and have skills and abilities. Yeah, they're prodigies. And like, no, like I think that, I think just like 20. 25 year olds can just have a job and be good at it.

That's what I mean. That's ridiculous. It's crazy. There's just people like that out there. I was still a trolley boy when I was 25. Nothing is anything wrong with that. Some people work at NASA. Some people are trolley boys.

We've all got jobs. Yeah. There's no job. There's no job. I also worked in the liquor department. If there were no trolley boys, where would we get our trolleys? Like every job is important. Where would John Aaron from NASA's shop without the trolley boy?

Yeah, well, he's got to carry all his groceries. He's John Aaron from NASA. Yeah. You think he's got time to collect a shop? It doesn't have time. No. Do you think he has time to stack his own liquor shelves? Surely not.

We're going to talk more about John Aaron with today's main topic that we finally arrived at, which is Apollo 13. A good, lucky number. Exactly. Now, the thing that blasts them to the moon, or for takeoff at least, is the... A rocket. Giant, exactly. The Saturn 5, most powerful rocket ever made.

Still? Yes, extreme. A huge, ridiculous. So rocket technology hasn't really come on. Because they talk about the computers on board are less powerful than a calculator or something. Yeah, seriously. But the rocket is still the most powerful ever. That's interesting.

Well, maybe we're underestimating calculators. Oh, that's a such a good point. That is such a good point. Wow. So NASA had contracted for 15 Saturn 5 rockets to achieve the goal of landing person on the moon. They had no idea how many missions it would take to achieve the goal. and when they ended up doing so in 1969, they'd use six rockets. Wow.

So they'd got nine rockets remaining. They hoped to use for further moon landings. They're like, well, we got them. It's good to buy in bulk. We paid for them exactly. They essentially went to Costco for rockets. Use them or lose them because they'd go out of date. They're basically like milk.

Yeah. I reckon they're pasteurized, don't they? Rockets? Yeah. I think Louis was homogenized. Louis Pasteur was involved in somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In rockets.

Apollo 13's Latin motto Oh here you go Matt you'll know this Fortius quo fidlius Fidelius He does every time And you never get it right Well you're never sure No

That's right I remember because I said it one time And someone laughed very hard at me Because I always thought it was Because this is the Sanctal Football Club's motto It means strength through loyalty Fidelius But it's like

Yeah I have no idea now Fortius, it's not, and it's not, I don't think any part of it I say right. Fortius, maybe the quo. Quoteous quo Fidelius. Whatever. Sounds good. What's this one's Latin? So the mission motto in Latin was ex-luna, scientia, which means,

moon. Yes, from the moon, knowledge. Oh. Geez, they just skip to knowledge. Yeah, from the moon, comma, knowledge. From the moon, knowledge. How beautiful is the language that they, can just use three words, but say so much.

Yeah. So much. For us, we'd say from the moon, we'll get some knowledge. We'll gain some knowledge. But they just say from the moon. And even though like from the moon kind of implies that we're like asking the moon some stuff. So I think we would probably say like from our travels to the moon and studying its surface and

climate and you know, I don't know, other stuff. And then in brackets you'd say one slash question mark. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we don't know how many tweets is going to say. From that we will hopefully gain some knowledge. That's what I would say. Yeah, that's what I'd say. Luna is...

Mooner. Is Luna a Latin? Lunar-e-mooner. I didn't realize Luna was Latin. It makes you think. Does, doesn't it? Because it means backwards, it's anal, of course. Of course.

Which goes back to Jess's tattoo. And of course, backwards. That's my alitato, which just says anal. Excellent. Backwards. Anal. Axi.

Anal. Anal. It's a little exi. That's a little expensive. That's going to cost you. This is the first Apollo mission devoted to scientific discovery of the moon. Stuff like collecting geological samples, drilling three meter holes into the surface of the moon, taking photos of possible exploration sites and experiments to develop human capability to work

in a lunar environment. Isn't it amazing? Like humans famously love digging holes, but that's just, you know, normally some guy in his backyard. I love that even people at NASA are doing that. Yeah. We're going to the moon.

What are you going to do? Dig a hole. Dig a hole. It's got to be pretty sick, actually. Yeah. They're going to make a sandcast. Give me a big shovel. Oh, it's sick.

I can't wait. Moon shovel. They also had an improved American flag apparatus on board. Neil and Buzz had erected a specifically designed flag. I knew that I have to pause there. That appeared to be waving in the wind, even though there's no air up there. But they had trouble digging the pole into the ground and Buzz reported that it was blown over by the rocket exhaust when they left the moon. Oh, no.

Oh, crap. You can't go back for it. No. Can't just jump out. Ah, yeah, that's frustrating. And this all happens. This is in Hollywood, isn't it? This happens.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So for some reason they choose. Sound Studio 7. For some reason, they choose the flag to fall over even though it's Hollywood. Yeah. They couldn't fake it well enough. So it fell over. So on Apollo 12, they made to show to plant the flag further away from the module.

Oh, smart. But astronauts Alan Shepard and Ellen Bean, Ellen and Allen, had trouble with the latch that kept the pole horizontal and the flag drooped. So they've got the flag there, but it looks shit. That's a lot of disrespect. Do you know what Alan's an anagram of? Anal. We're really good podcasts. That's probably why they got selected for the mission.

Yeah. Double anal. Double anal. Double anal. Digging holes, double penetration on the moon. Annal so nice. They did it twice. So on Apollo 13, they had a flag with a double locking mechanism.

Again, it's someone's job to design stuff. Yeah. What are you in charge of? I made the flag. For the moon. I made the flag. And then it droops. You're like, oh, crap.

A crap. Yeah, crap. So the Apollo spacecraft. was made up of two independent spacecraft joined by a tunnel. Little connection. There's the orbiter called Odyssey, which Jim Lovell was apparently like, that's a great name, we're going on an Odyssey.

And then there's also the lander called Aquarius. Okay. The Odyssey is the command module and service module, which I'll talk about a bit more. It's kind of like the mothership that all three astronauts travel on their way to the moon and back. It's the main bit where they sit. A bit of room in there, very solidly built and quite comfortable to be in. Okay.

Great place. It's got nice cushions. Yes. There's seats in there. There's some little fake plants or something that add a bit of greenery. Yeah. There's a pool table. Oh, that's nice.

The ball's flying around. Yeah. Ow! Isn't it interesting to think, you know, if there were people on other planets, that would be a UFO to them. They'd be getting out and there's space man suits. Like, who are these? Interesting creatures.

It doesn't make you think. We would in fact be the aliens. We'd be the aliens. Yeah. Imagine. Oh, I don't like to imagine that. And then they get out and they plant a flag that droops and they're like, oh, not a very advanced civilization. Yeah, quite pathetic, aren't they?

Leave them alone. Lower your weapons for these little pathetic aliens. So they're in the Odyssey in the Command Module, Service Module. When they get there, the plan is the Lunar Module Aquarius breaks away. with two members. It's the thing that looks quite like a spider. Yeah. And takes them to the surface of the moon

while the third member orbits in the command module. The lunar module is much more basic, but that's fine because they don't plan to spend much time in it. Then they fly home in the command module and service module. The service module drops off just before they enter the Earth's atmosphere and the conical flask shaped command module splashes down into the ocean. Navy picks them up, piece of cake. Okay.

That's what happened. That was number 12? That is what happened with number 12 And that's the plan for 13 as well In theory, quite simple They've done it twice now Easy peasy How hard could it be?

Yeah. As long as I don't get complacent. It feels like in time people say how hard can it be It's like that's just guaranteeing success. Yeah, exactly Which is what I'm trying to do here. Yeah. So the commander of the mission was Jim Lovell

Who I mentioned before. Tom Hanks. This is Tom Hanks. Yeah. Selected as an astronaut in 1962 Lovell was making his fourth space flight and second trip to the moon. He's the first person to ever achieve those milestones. Wow.

He'd been a pilot of Gemini 7, or as they say, Gemini 7. Who says that? Who says that? Americans. They say Gemini Gemini. Gemini. Well, at least the astronauts I've heard in interviews when they talk about the program. They call it Gemini. Well, I'd probably take their word for.

Yeah, that's what I mean. I don't say all Americans, but definitely some of the Jim Lovell himself, he calls it Gemini. Gemini, Gemini Cricket. Wow. Gemini Jilic. I've never heard of that. I mean, that. I know they say aluminum aluminum because they spell it different.

But I haven't. And what else, you know, they say. All sorts of things. Sidewalk. Nis. Adidas. Adidas is fun. Adidas.

They say Nike. Yep. I think all of these are probably the correct word of the same as well. And we say I'm wrong. But I love those little cultural differences between us and them. Hey? I went for a job interview at Nike. And one of the first.

thing she said in this group interview is, and so just so you guys know, it's Nike. Yeah. Not Nike. Because we say Nike, a lot of us, I always said Nike. Yeah, but you're of a different generation. People your age, technically I'm not, but. Say stuff wrong. Same generation actually.

Well, I mean, canonical? Oh, not canonically. I'm from a time before generation. Certainly not culturally. I learned so much from your kids. Like even young. For example, I tell you about 1960's space missions. Yeah, it's fun.

Keeping you young. So Jim Lovell had been the pilot of Gemini 7, command pilot of Gemini 12, and Command Module Pilot of Apollo 8, the first piloted mission to the moon. He was also Neil Armstrong's backup commander for Apollo 11. So Neil pulled it out, he was going to be the first on the moon. So he's very experienced. He's what you'd call an astronauts astronaut. Okay.

That's what I would call. That's what you'd say, yeah. Now 42. He was born in Cleveland, Ohio. Oh, God's country. In 1928, before becoming an astronaut, he served in the Navy where he landed fighter jets on aircraft carriers in the dark during bad weather. He's a great pilot.

He then became a naval test pilot, locking 7,000 flying hours, which is a lot of hours. How many days is that nonstop? How many virgin velocity points is that? 7,000. You don't get that many? You don't get that many. It sucks. It's actually not that good, isn't it?

Is it? No, that's not a great deal. He married his high school sweetheart, Marilyn, and together they had four children, Barbara, James, Susan and Jeffrey. Good names. Great names. Jim Lovell's nickname, Joe Peace of you like this, was shaky. Hate that. No, I love it.

A fellow future astronaut Pete Conrad had apparently given Lovell the nickname as a joke, as it would be the last thing a test pilot would want to be known as. Okay, that's good then. That is good. You do not want a shaky test pilot. So as a joke, he had that name. I'd call him Crash and Burn. I'd call it, this guy steals from the company. Lovell was originally slated to be part of Apollo 14, the mission after this,

but was asked to swap with Alan Shepard, who'd only just come back to the program after taking years off to treat an illness. He had something, he had grit or something in his inner ear. And he was dizzy for years. Yeah, vertigo. And he just had, obviously you don't want an astronaut with vertigo up there. So he had, he'd just come back from an operation after being off for years. But he was, he's also a legendary astronaut.

But so he's asked, we swap with Alan, he can do 14, you do 13. Apparently Jim said, sure, why not? What could possibly be the difference between Apollo 13 and Apollo 14? I've never even connected. It's an unlucky number. Yeah. People at the time were like, yeah, you're a bit, you know, worried about it. And they're all like, no, it's fine.

Paul 13, whatever. Because they're like, they're man of logic. Exactly. Not of superstition. Asked about the mission later on, they might change their mind. Okay. Also on board, so he's the commander. Yeah.

Jim Lovell. Also on board was lunar module pilot Fred Hayes, who was making his first space flight. His job is to control the lunar module that goes onto the moon. So only him and Jim Lovell will actually walk on the moon. Okay. Third person stays around. So why is that stiff third person?

Yeah. They get so close. Someone's got to be in the command module. Keep it going. You know, you got Trey Cool, you got Billy Joe Armstrong walking on the surface of the moon. Poor. Mike Dern. Mike Dern.

He's in the capsule waiting. Oh, Dern. You did him dirty. Well, I guess he's, of those three, he's got the dullest name, I suppose. He's got the Mike Collins of the names. Who of us is staying in there? Can it be me? It's got to be Matt Stewart in terms of Dulles name.

Yeah. And I'm the best driver. Yeah. Oh, you've got to do it, I guess. Yeah. You'd be the head. And they need maths. Yeah, I'm definitely there making up numbers.

I'll make sandwiches or whatever you need. We come back and you've made like 600 sandwiches. Is this helpful? And you're kind about it. You don't want my sandwiches. 600. If you can't eat these in space. It's all like gel and toothpaste.

Yeah. I'm homo simp storing it. I've got the... There's a packet of chips. I've opened a packet of chips. Protect the queen. I imagine if you went back. to episode seven, I'd love to know how many of these dog shit riffs we've done both times.

We've 100% asked that before. Come on, sure. It's been long enough. We can't remember. I'd say riffs as well, quoting the Simpsons vaguely. I reckon up back then I would have said I'd stay because we didn't know what an incredible driver I am. That's true.

Oh my goodness. You can back it up a lunar moddle, no worry. Easy. Matt and I are coming back to the UK very soon in November. If you want to come along, do go on pod.com. And we talked about how this time, because it's just two of us going, we're don't need a big van and also Jess isn't there to park it so we're probably going to hire the smallest car we can get a barina two door yeah yeah that'll do we always we always

Jess what a park what a park highlight of one of my lives just the park perkins high line of one of my lives you've said too much they don't oh hang on shit you're the favorite of my wives I've said too much whoops highlight of one of my lives oh dear oh dear old deal you have a lot of what It would make sense if you're some sort of alien being. Yeah. It would connect a few dots. Because of the head shape. It's not that bad.

How do you know that's not a compliment? I meant that it as a compliment. Thank you. You've got an out-worldly, an other-worldly head shape. Head-shape. That's only funny because it's obviously not true. That would, if that hit it close to home. And I say this is one of the worst moments of one of my lives.

You can say that. Will it make a stop? No. So we're talking about Fred Hayes, lunar module guy, born in Biloxi, Mississippi, November 1933. Hayes, 36 years old at the time of the Apollo mission. He underwent naval aviator training from 1952 to 54. He served as a US Marine Corps fighter pilot and after his military service. He returned to school and graduated with a Bachelor of Science degrees in honors in aeronautical engineering.

So these are all very good pilots, also very smart people. Yeah, very qualified. Very qualified, that's right, very educated. Very small group of people that would qualify. Yes, quite a niche. Back then they were cutting half of the population out already probably because it's all men, right? Yes. And then most of these people graduate the top of their aviator class of 100.

And then from there, they apply. Yeah. And then they... It's the best of the best. It's like the start of men in black, whereas like these are the best of the best. But even a lot of them get rejected. That's so sad But they don't

They don't remember it of course No Pull out that thing And I forget everything Is that the same at NASA? Yeah You don't remember anything So maybe I did apply

Maybe you got in Maybe you've been to the moon Wow That's so true You could deny that Probably I've been to the moon You've probably been to the moon Odds are

Statistically Yeah Statistically I mean how many people I've been to the moon The answer is 12 I finished top of my class at some point in something, I'm sure. Okay, well done.

Grade four? Yeah. Oh, definitely back then. Yeah. Matt nailed a little bit up a little bit up to that. Grade four for you was colours and numbers. I don't know what they're doing in grade four. Probably a long division, actually.

Grade four isn't the fourth time you've done prep, Jess. It is for me. It took me 12 years to finish private school. What's your favourite show? triangle it's actually a circle for me but wow

makes you think it really does never thought about it so Fred Hayes he was married to Mary and had three children Frederick Stephen and Thomas that's nice

it's a lot of dull names so far yeah I mean that makes sense doesn't it they're dull people they're dull people they're sorry it's the 60s they haven't invented a lot of names yet I just think these are these are all like they're basically nerds right no offence to nerds

they do all the best stuff. It's important to have them. Dave, I can't. You as a nerd. Thank you. But your kids' names are going to be fucking dull. Oh, it would be like Cyborg X and Wallywan Wanner. Wally Wally Wanner Wally Wanner Wally Wanner Wally Wanner Wanner-Wally Wanner-Wankeke.

That's actually awesome. Wally Wann Wanner Wattie. Get your ass down here. Your father's made. Make me. Come on. You two, Cyborg X. What a gift you're giving those gifts.

Beautiful. I mean, you're never going to yell that in a park and only have one kid turn around. Actually, you'll have most parents turn around like, what the fuck are you doing? The final position was command module pilot. This role stays back on the command module, Jess Berkins, orbits the moon, whilst the other two go down and do their thing. No, no. That's me. Jess is making 600 damage.

Jeff seven years ago, that's right. This is you, Matt. I'm Mike Dern. You, the Mark Dern. This is Mike Dern. Originally, the command module pilot was meant to be Ken Mattingly. And the three men trained together extensively for the mission, but only eight days out, all three men were exposed to Rubella, also known as German measles.

Yes. By a member of the backup crew, Charles Duke. Both the main and backup crew trained together, so they were all exposed to Duke. Wow. That's not good. German measles is not nice. I had one of the measles as a kid. Is that, is that different?

Would it be different? Not sure. You might have just had measles. We should have been, there was a, fuck, it was a vaccine that did. Yeah, measles, mumps, rebella. Yeah, you're right. And Veracela seller or varicella, which is chicken pox.

Maybe I never had measles. I had no idea. I had one of them. I'm sure you were sick. But yeah, they've had chicken pox. That's gone now, isn't it? You never had it? No, I did have it.

Yeah, yeah. Do you have it? Twice. Really? You're not meant to get it twice, I know. Jill, that means you're special. Remember I had it for the Sydney Olympics. Oh, that's right. Of course. Of course.

I missed out. Am I a chance at the Olympics? Yeah. I was supposed to be Nikki Webster. Nikki Webster was your understudy. Yeah. So, I mean, I'm happy for her. They could have been your strawberry kisses.

I could have been on FHM at some point. You would have got her whole career afterwards. Yeah, obviously. Of course, it's just handed you on a plate. Yeah. Jim Lovell and Fred Hayes from the main crew were found to immunity from the disease due to prior exposure. that already had rebella. But Ken Madding Lee did not, and only being a week out from launch,

NASA didn't want to risk him going to space and developing the sickness up there. Oh, that sucks. Makes sense. Being hundreds of thousands of miles away and being really ill. But imagine being the first person to have rebella in space. Oh, yes. That could be me. Yeah, because I think of it, you know, I love when something's cancelled.

Nearly always. It's weird that I'm like, even a thing that I want to do. And these guys obviously want to do this. Yeah. But one of those are part of him like, oh my goodness. I got a week off. I'll just watch some movies.

Yeah. Go home. He's like, I really like my bed. Yeah. I think they had more to live for. Yes. I think these people have like trained their whole lives to get to the name.

I think you would be supposed to. Only so few. I think in total only 24 people have been there ever. So, you know, and this is the chance to be in the first, you know, nine or ten.

So he's, he was spewing. Have the Soviets got? there by this point? No, they haven't landed. They've never landed a person. Oh, they still haven't? No.

Right. Do they stop trying? Yeah, I'm pretty sure they did. Yeah, but they were the first to get, I think, an object up there. And also they got... A rocket? Was the object a rocket? Yeah, I think they landed a bunch of stuff on there, like, you know, fired shit into it

because you don't have to land it if you just exploded onto the floor. Whatever. Pow! So, he's out. Kenan Manningley's out. So just two days before the launch, he was replaced by backup member, Jack Swigott, who did intense training with the other two Apollo crew members to get up to speed. Just two days.

Far out. That's a lot of pressure, Jack Swigott. Swigott was 38 years old and had also never been to space before. What? So only Jim Lovell's been to space. He's really has a lot more experience than the other two. That's why he's the commander. So is Swigott, is it Kevin Bacon one of the other crew in the movie?

Yes. Kevin Baconet plays Swigott who takes over. Right. From Maddingley, who's Gary Seneese. Ah, yes. So Gary Seneese is on home base. And who was the other... Bill Paxton plays.

Fred Hayes. What a powerful trio. Yeah. What a class. Absolutely loved it. Obviously, check it out. Swigert was 38 years old and also never been to space. As I said, he held a bachelor in mechanical engineering and a master in aerospace science

and was a former test pilot as well. Okay. He'd wanted to fly since he was a kid delivering newspapers at the age of 14 to save up just for flying lessons. Wow. I imagine you've got to deliver a lot of newspapers for flying lessons in like the 50s. It's so expensive. Oh my God.

Back then it would have been even rarer. Yeah. So to recap, we've got on board commander, Jim Lovell, super experienced dude. Command module pilot, Jack Swigett, been called in the last minute, and lunar module pilot Fred Hayes. And they are supported on the ground by hundreds,

if not thousands of engineers and other experts monitoring every part of the ship and the flight mission. The average age of the flight control team was just 27. Really? Babies. Babies. Children. Which is, it is awesome.

Go, go, go, gaga, over. Gobble, gobble, gobble, over. Some of them were quite young turkeys. 27's pretty old for a turkey. 27 year old turkeys, yeah. And now to guide you through the mission, we have the world's oldest turkey. Roger that. Thanks, Turkey.

The lead flight director was a guy called Gene Krantz who himself is a legend, of space exploration. I mean, all of these people have been legends, according to you. I don't know what to believe anymore. Well, he's NASA's second, like, flight director. So he's, he's a famous dude. Most of these people were working out of the Apollo Mission Control Center in Houston, which is their call sign.

That's why they say, Houston. Did they decide to have a base NASA in Houston because of the Houston Rockets basketball team? Yeah, isn't that? It's a bit of synergy. Yeah, they were like, actually, this could work well. Yeah. We could put this rocket team on the map. That's nice.

That's clever. Love it when things work out like that. Yeah. Because, you know, and I love hearing stories like that. Well, you'd probably think it was the other way around. Yeah. And you're like, no, actually. Obviously, yeah.

If you think about it long enough. Yeah, you idiot. I think basketball's been around a little longer than the moon. The moon. Okay. Okay. Okay. God, some people are so stupid.

And we're dealing with these people every day. Every day. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it. surrounded by idiots. They're everywhere. Melbourne is full of them. Full of fools.

Is it probably the stupidest city in the world? I would say so. I reckon we should test it, but I don't even know if we waste our time. Oh, God, I can't buy it. You know, I try and test Melbourne people. I probably wouldn't even know how to pick up a pencil. Oh, what do I do?

So embarrassing. You've already failed. Anyway, Dave, do go on. The other person I learned about in this report is Judith Love Cohen. Did she? That's so nice. Lovely. Good for Cohen. Who was going?

We'll get there. We're such a long report. We're fucking around. Judith is an engineer who had worked on the abort guidance system, AGS in the Apollo lunar module. Do you know this? Her son. Yes. Had been born the year before on August 28, 1969, and we grow up to be.

Tony Pluggler Lockett. Jack Black. What? Yeah. What? Jack Black, the J.B. himself. Man, I love Jack Black. I know.

He's great. And his mom, one of my favorite real bannas. I didn't know that. Yeah. It makes sense. Apparently she went into the office the day Jack Black was born. That's why, yeah, he does have the vibe of a kid who really needed to strive for attention. Yeah.

Look at me. According to all that's interesting, which has a great article I know that I link to, when it was time to go out to the hospital, she took with her a computer printout of the problem she was working on. Later that day, she called her boss and told him that she told him that she, he'd solve the problem. And, oh, yes, the baby had been born as well. Which is awesome. Only 0.05% of all engineers at the time were women.

Yeah. How many? 0.5%. So there's probably like two. Wow. Isn't that crazy? And one of them is Jack Black's mom. And what was it?

So is Black, not his actual surname. His surname is Cohen. No, it actually is Jack Black, I believe. Because I looked into that because I was going to say, born. But you would know him. better as, but then his name is actually Thomas Jacob Black. Yeah, right. So not Jack Black.

Tom Black. Tom Black. His father was a satellite engineer. Far out. Thomas William Black. Do you think they're disappointed? I mean, he's very successful and he's great. I would say universally loved.

But yeah, were they like, could you try a little harder in science? He's like, Doing guitar solos. And then he's in that episode of the X-Files where he can control electricity. Yeah. Oh, wow. He's fired by his parents.

So United States missions are prior to lift off controlled from the launch control center, LCC, located at NASA's Kennedy Space Center on Merritt Island, Florida. So they take off from Florida. After lift-off, responsibility is handed over to NASA's mission control center in Houston, Texas. So that's why they always like Houston. Yeah, right.

The mission was launched at the planned time of 2.13pm exactly, Eastern Standard Time, on April 11, taking off from the Kennedy Space Center. Even though Neil Armstrong's first steps on the moon had been less than a year earlier at this point, an event that is still one of the most watch broadcast in history, by April of the following year, public interest in the Apollo missions had well and truly fallen to the wayside. Apollo 12 had also succeeded in making it to the moon, so now it just seemed routine. They're like, whatever. Almost easy.

Like, oh, yeah, of course they're going to make it. So no one tuned into the launch, basically. The ratings were dropping and dropping and dropping. Wow. I mean, that's not why they're doing it. But it would be nice if people would watch. Yes, it would be nice if people watch. People care.

You can sort of understand why they wouldn't. Yeah, yeah. One, it's the final frontier. And the next one, it's like, oh, yeah. Oh, what, I'm not watching people drive cars anymore. Yeah, yeah. That was interesting for a while as well. I'm not turning up to see a train go by.

Yeah. You know, I've got stuff to do. So they took off pretty standard. We jumped forward into the mission a little bit, but generally speaking, Apollo 13 was looking like the smoothest flight of the program so far. Wonderful. At 46 hours and 43 minutes into the mission, Joe Kerwin, the capsule communicator or Capcom on duty,

who speaks to the astronauts, said, the spacecraft is in real good shape as far as we are concerned. We're bored to tears down here. It was the last time anyone would mention boredom for a very long time. That's a real jinx. Yeah, why would you say that? God, nothing for me to do down here.

Oh my gosh. Snoose. No, I'm just going to punch this black cat in the face. Fuck you, cat. The cat's just walked under eight ladders. I'll just follow it through. I'll throw this broken mirror at it. I'm going to pour my coffee all over this desk full of lights in front of me.

Oh, here we go. This is a bit of fun. It'll be something for me to fix. Yeah, work this out. As had become standard aboard the missions, the crew did a broadcast on day three with a camera and a radio, giving a 49 minute, 49 minute tour of the craft. It's not that big.

How does it take you 49 minutes? They're doing, they're doing gear. Imagine if we did a 49 minute tour of this room. It is honestly about this size. I reckon we could do it. Here's a panel. Here's another panel on the wall. Dave, that's taking you like three seconds.

This episode, well, we do a 49 minute tour of this room. 15 minutes on the bin. Yeah. That's such a long time to talk about a bin. Nah, I reckon we could. We go through item by item. So it's 49 minutes. Jim Lovell acted as a host, but he didn't know this.

And it's absolutely the most tragic thing I've ever heard. No one cared. Oh. The media had completely lost interest. No TV channel had picked up the footage. What? No one was watching. There wasn't even a single.

media reporter in NASA's Media Center that day. Only their wives and children at home were watching. That is very sad, but Dave, I've got to say, that's the most tragic thing you've ever heard that no one watched a thing. Then this is going to be great. I can't imagine anything else going wrong. Come on, it's so sad. It's so sad being like, and here is, because like, you know,

a billion people watched his mate, Neil Armstrong six months earlier. He's like, of course people care about my big time. I've waited for this my whole life and no one watched. Matt, you've got to remember, Dave's looking. hear that through the lens of an entertainer. Yeah, that's right. And what is an entertainer without an audience? That's true. David would be up there going, pow, pow, give us his best, you know, game show host.

Nothing. Come on down. Welcome to the command module. My name is Jim Lovell. Thanks for tuning in. We have three contestants tonight. It is so tragic. What if that happens to us?

A lot of people downloaded the Apollo 11 episode. And we go check and zero downloads on this episode. And I'm like, I think there's a glitch. There ain't no good pal. Every other episode's fine. Oh, no one cares. That is razzle dazzling. It's an episode that's going to go for like three hours.

The difference is my wife wouldn't even listen. At least his wife's watching. Yeah, no. She's not. She's got stuff to do. Well, that's why you call her your first wife. I'm already hearing signs that, you know, not going to support you then. Okay.

So he doesn't know. After 49 minutes, he wrapped up his big TV moment and went to put the camera away. What he didn't know and no one knew at the time is at that same moment, command module pilot Jack Swigert had his finger on a bomb's ignition switch. What? Let me back up a little bit. You might be wondering how we got here. So the modules, there's two modules, supplied by two oxygen tanks.

These were spherical shells made from titanium no larger than a car tire. The oxygen tank also supplied the ship's, three fuel cells that give electricity and power to the craft. Oxygen and hydrogen is combined to produce water and electrical power. Kind of like renewable batteries. They keep making their own power up there. The water produced was also used to cool the electrical hardware and was the astronaut's main source of drinking water.

So it's very, very important, the oxygen. Yeah. Very, very important. Also, you need it to breathe. I was scared. That's why I didn't give you much when you said it's very important. I was like, uh-huh. But it's important in every way.

Yes, yeah. It's integral. Yeah. What no one knew at the time was that one of the two oxygen tanks had been fumbled on an assembly line 18 months earlier. Falling just five centimeters. Oh. At the time, it didn't seem like a big deal, but a year and a half later, this would have huge ramifications. What?

Inside each of the oxygen tanks is liquid oxygen stored in icy cold conditions. It's freezing in there. Fans and heaters are found within the tank. to stir the liquid oxygen and keep it at the right pressure. And it's very cold. Very cold. You know who they should have got to look after it? The Black Thunders.

Yeah. All I was thinking was could I put a can of Coke in there? It would have been cold quickly. So cold. So quickly. And quick? Oh, fuck. I hate that.

Get down to St. Kilda Beach. My dinner's nearly ready. I don't have a can of Coke. Keep your eyes peeled for the Black Thunders. Do they still do that? I don't listen to commercial radio. Oh, okay.

Because I feel bad if I do. Drip a lap. Grab yourself an icy cold can of Coke. And the latest edition of... Us Weekly. Us Weekly? Is that a magazine about arses? Us.

Us. US. US Us. Us weekly. I made the cover of Ars Weekly. Can they see your tattoo? Yeah. that's wild. I mean, there's some parallels to the another, what was the episode called?

The Challenger disaster. A very small, a very small O ring. That's right. That had been cold and then hot and then broke. Kind of similar because inside, it's like it's freezing. They have these fans and heaters to keep it the right pressure inside that sort of stir it all around at the same time because otherwise I think it sort of separates in there and isn't usable. before the missions, there were problems filling and draining one of the tanks, the same tank that had been dropped 8 months earlier. When it would not empty normally, the heaters in the tank were turned on to boil off the oxygen and things inside the tank breached recommended heat levels by a lot.

Uh-oh. See, thermostatic switches inside were designed to prevent the heaters from raising the temperature higher than 27 degrees Celsius or 80 degrees Fahrenheit, but they failed under the 65-volt power supply applied. So there's no switch that turns it off when it gets to a certain heat. So temperatures on the heat at you within the tank may have reached 540 degrees Celsius or 1,000 Fahrenheit, which is 20 times hotter than they're supposed to.

It's supposed to get to a certain heat and then stop, but it didn't stop. It just kept getting hotter and hotter and hotter. The temperature gauge was not designed to read higher than 29 degrees Celsius. So the technician monitoring the procedure detected nothing unusual. Oh, that is a real oversight. Isn't that real bad? It's like, oh, this thing turns off at 27 and the gauge tops out at 29, and then inside it's 540 degrees.

Whoops. The Teflon insulation surrounding wires connected to the fans melted under the extreme heat, but no one knows this. They've just put it in on the module as normal, and then they've taken off. And now bare wires are exposed inside the oxygen tank waiting to short out, spark, and start a fire, because it's surrounded by oxygen. Oh. So now Jack's wire.

who I said, he's got his finger on the ignition switch. He's been asked to run a standard cryoster and power up the fans within the tank to get it all moving again. There's so much gibberish in this. Cryostir. Oh, yeah. Basically, he's got to move the frozen oxygen inside with a fan. He's flicks the switch and a fan turns on. So standard.

So normal. But he has his finger on a detonation key. Oh. Because he starts the cryoster and then there is a massive bang. Lovell was still taking the camera down to the command module. feeling like I nailed that live TV cross. To millions of people. I'm famous now.

Immediately he felt the huge bang that rocked the whole spacecraft. Jim Lovell described the event as a bang-wamp shutter. Does that put it into context for you? I think that makes sense. That was a bang-wam shudder. Yeah. I was just thinking like you're feeling bad for a Lovell, but he ended up being played by Tom Hanks in a like an Academy Award-winning film.

Based on a book that. he wrote. Yeah. So I think in the end, you can't feel too bad for him. Yeah. No, I don't. And he wrote the book. Oh, that's a good sign. That's a great sign. Unless he... He wrote it really quickly. All right, quick, someone grab a pen. I'm going to radio down my book. Chapter 1. My name is Jim Lovell. I was born in Ohio in 1920. Chapter 2. Whatever. Skip through, do a bit about, you know, how it was really good in the Navy. Get my wife to fill in some of the middle bits. And we'll get to this beer. Jim Swahick, it just blew up the fucking ship. they've got no idea what's going on.

Let's hear this big bang. He looked at Swigett, this is Lovell, and he said, his eyes were as wide as sources. How big are the sources? Yeah, because that means sources could be any size. Could have tiny little sources. They could be like, what are they, sources for an ant?

My eyes could be as wide as Anne sources right now. Yeah. That's true. Not wide at all. Look, maybe his books are not as good as I thought. For listeners at home, Jess is currently squinting. Now she's going. wide-eyed.

They're more like sources of a... As wide as they go. Of a cockroach. Yeah. Much bigger than an ant. Human. Because they're obviously not human. So they'd be huge.

Massive. That's... Almost as big as a face. Yeah. A normal shaped face. Not Dave's. Very otherworldly. It's not my face.

It's my head, apparently. It's otherworldly. Okay. Thank you. Oh, I hit a nerve. My sorcerer eyes are fine. I had a stab at anything and I accidentally hit a nerve. No, you hit a,

a weird looking head. You hit a boy. Right through the heart. Bullseye, Jess. If that was your aim. If you plan to destroy me, well, mission accomplished. Houston, we have a broken heart. Jim, is that you?

He's like, I just found out that no one was watching my TV show. So they've got no idea what's going on. Big Bang. The spark in a pure oxygen atmosphere resulted in a ferocious fire that increased the pressure inside the tank until the tank dome failed, filling the fuel cell bay with rapidly expanding gaseous oxygen and combustion products. Basically, it's exploded. Shit.

The titanium tank. Like one of the very, very, very strong material. Oh my God. The pressure rise was sufficient to pop the rivets, holding the aluminum or aluminum, exterior panel covering sector four and blow it out, exposing the sector to space, which fortunately snuffed out the fire. Otherwise, it would have kept burning because there's no oxygen out there for it to burn. It stopped. The detached panel, so it blew off a panel on the side, hit the nearby high gain antenna,

disabling the narrow beam communication mode. This is a lot more gibberish, Matt, and interrupting communication with Earth for 1.8 seconds while the system automatically switched to the backup mode. Okay. So then they could communicate again. Yeah, yeah. So for 1.8 seconds, I couldn't communicate.

Sorry, what did you say? I didn't say anything. Sorry, sorry, you just cut out for 1.8 seconds. So needy. Oh, my God. That's me, actually, around my house. Are you talking to me? Oh, you're talking to the dog.

Okay. Can you talk to me? So this all happens in seconds after he does the cryo stir. But the astronauts can't see any of this from where they are. They can only hear it. That's spookier. Which is, they just hear lots of noises. Six or seven warning lights lit up on the instrumental panel,

including the master alarm and a blue restart light. And they're like, that looks real bad. That's so good. This really confuses the astronauts. The warning lights come from different systems, meaning more than one thing is malfunctioning at the same time. Because usually there's, you know, this system goes down and there'll be a warning light here. But now they've got like seven at the same time.

They're like, oh my God, something is seriously wrong up here. It's then we come to one of the most famous misquotes in Hollywood history. Houston, we have a problem. Have her a problem. Sorry. Sorry. Hang on. She's assassin in all angles and directions there.

I'm an assassin. An ars assassin. Dave's giving you nothing because he's still hurt. He's mad at me. I'd hate to say it. It's not because he's distracted by his own report. Yeah, so I lost my place for a moment there, but I'm back. Stressful, isn't it?

No, I don't panic under conditions. Seven alarms going off and I think I'm about to die. I'd be like, all right, I'm died. But they're like, I'm died. I'm died. Weirdbolly whack a Warker, Warnocky. I love you. CyberX, you're all right.

It's good to have favorites. So we all know the line from the movie, but the Apollo 13 flight journal lists the dialogue after the explosion as Swigert says, okay, Houston, we've had a problem here. Jack Lausma back on ground says, this is Houston. Say again, please. jumps in and says, Houston, we've had a problem.

Okay, that's not miles away. But in the 1995 film Apollo 13, the actual quote was shortened to, Houston, we have a problem. Screenwriter William Broils Jr. Made the change, stating that the verb tense

actually used wasn't as dramatic. Hmm. He's like, he punched it up. Yeah. The verb tense was less dramatic. Houston, without a problem.

That would be, if Tom Hanks said that, Houston, we've had a problem. I think that's still pretty iconic, isn't it? Well, who am I to judge? Because the quote ranked at number 50 on AFI's 100 greatest movie quotes in June 2005. Can we guess what number one is? Yes, have a guess.

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. Bullseye. Is it? Yes, well done. Which is incredible. And I think it would have been hilarious. That's actually an alarm going on. I think that that would have been the best response from Houston.

Houston, we've had a problem. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. Sorry, can you repeat that? Oh, that's awesome. Well done. That's so good, Bob. What a guess. If it was May, I'd pick,

No. The first thing that sees of the chimp says in the Planet of the Apes Reboot. Yeah. No. Learning the talk. Oh, we all know it. It's a classic. Yeah, I can't see it.

Number two. Come and need a bigger boat. That's a good one. Number 35. I'm your father, Luke, but it's different from one of them. No, I'm your father. No, I'm your father. Is that in there?

Did that make it? No, but number two, does reference a father, the godfather. I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse. I'm going to make him an offer. They can't refuse. Holy shit, that. That's good. That was actually really good.

Was that you doing Darth Vader? Yes. Wow, that's good. I'm your father and you cannot refuse. Okay, you've lost it a bit now, but the first time was very good. Well, that one was, that was, I was doing James Earl Jones doing. Oh, then that was offensive. Wow.

Oh, okay. Okay. Doing the godfather. Right. Okay. The only star was quote, number eight, may the force be with you. Oh, yeah, of course, be with you. All right.

And also with you. What about, what about, um, what about, um, we lift up our hearts. Tell him his dream and, does that make it? Yeah, is that on there? Let me have a look. What about Rissals? I can't believe Rissols and dreaming. didn't make it.

Dad, I dug another hole. It's filling with water. Is that one on there? No, didn't make it. Neither did the jazzing sticks. What about, it's just the vibe. Oh, that would have. Number four.

Number four. I just keep saying Marbo. I'm fascinated by going through these. I can't believe I got it. What a guess? Fantastic. Frank Mardierre. What was the other one on the podium?

Third on the podium. It's from on the waterfront. Oh, I don't know what that is. I think that's, Two from Marlon Brando in the top three. You don't understand. I could have had class. I could have been a contender.

I could have been somebody instead of a bum, which is what I am. I do know that quote, but I don't know if I know what the movie's about. I'm not sure I even know the quote. I could have been a contender. There you go. It's amazing that he got two out of the three. Yeah. Number four, Toto.

I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. Oh, yeah, great. Number five, cast a blank. He's looking at you, kid. Number six, go ahead. Make my day. Who's that dirty Harry or something? It's from Sudden Impact, but yes, it is the Clint Eastwood movie.

Sunfoot, Sunset Boulevard number seven. All right, Mr. Dimeal, I'm ready for my close-up. Oh. I don't know if I know that one. These are all very old films. Yes, I'm trying to look. The most recent one. It looks like to be 80s.

Red pill, blue pill. Ussela Vista Baby, 91. Wow. I'm trying to think of see if there's any more recent ones. we could do a whole report on this. Forest Gump 94. Life is like a box of chocolates. Yes.

Why don't you say, why don't we do that as a bonus episode this month? Okay, we'll go through some. That'll be a fun game because I'll forget. But you say like the name of the movie and we have to try and guess what quote is. Good times. That sounds fun. That sounds like a fun improv game for us.

Yes, and. Okay, so back to the Apollo 30. Oh, yeah. Something major has just happened on board. The astronauts can't see anything that's happening outside. Their first thought is that a meteorite may have hit the spacecraft. Wow, that's their first thought. The confusion is on the attitude when the thrusters unexpectedly kick in

and the ship starts to rock from side to side. Oh, I don't like that. I get seasick. You wouldn't like it. Space sick. Yeah, would I get space sick? Do you get motion sick in space? Absolutely, yes. Even in the Apollo 13 movie, Bill Paxon vomits.

Really? Man, I can't go anywhere. Can't go on boats, planes, space. On the ground, flight controller, Cy Liebergot. Can't believe that the oxygen tanks and the fuel cells all look to be failing at the same time and reasons that these must be incorrect results

are what he calls instrumentation funnies. Instrumentation funnies. You used to be the producer of that. Yeah, that's right. At NASA. The Instrumentation Funnies at NASA. His console is lighting up like a Christmas tree, He looks at the panel and oxygen tank two is showing no readouts and he can't make sense of it.

It looks like it doesn't exist anymore because it doesn't. Right, but he's like, well, that can't be. Because he thinks a titanium sphere can't blow up. But guess what, Cy, it just did. He's got like optimism bias or whatever you call it. Yeah, he's like, that can't happen. Obviously, it's not a disaster. Everything must just be fine.

Yeah, it must just, for everything to malfunction at once, it must just be a computer glitch. Yeah, how could that actually happen? He's just like tapping the screen. Trying to refresh. Yeah, he's got the spinning wheel of death. Yeah, he's like, hang it, good to restart here. But back up on the ship, the astronauts have no doubt that this is something way more serious than a malfunctioning meter.

And they see evidence of something gone terribly wrong when they look out the window and see small bits of debris coming from the craft and floating past them. Oh, yeah, you don't want to see your craft floating past you. No. Oh, God, no. On board, Fred Hayes says into the comms that he heard a bang, but on the ground, mission control miss him saying that. and in the crisis that follows, the information isn't relayed down. So alarms are going off. The craft is being rocked from side to sides.

No one can make any sense of the readouts. It's absolute chaos up there and on the ground. So when he says, oh, I think I heard a bang, no one hears him say that. So they don't start investigating an explosion for a little while. Still, no one's watching them. I just can't get an audience. No one's churning in even there, colleague. It's the most tragic thing I've ever heard.

Sorry, Fred, we had you on mute. You were really boring. It was such a beautiful line. I'm a beautiful reading of that line. I heard a bang. In training, the astronauts have trained for almost every failure imaginable, but not this. They're prepared for failing instruments or leaks or thrusters misfiring, but never all of these all at once.

It's a true nightmare scenario. And it's only getting worse when they realize that due to the depleted oxygen levels, they're running out of power. It's decided that the crew should use the key. command module batteries to run everything. These batteries are designed for use on reentry back into Earth's atmosphere. They're only designed for a few hours of power and things are pretty desperate so they use the batteries now because they've got no power.

But this decision will haunt them later on. Oh no. On the ground, flight control is still trying to work out if it's a real or imagined problem. I can't work it out. It's brutal. Are they making it up? You guys panicking up there. This is a prank because it's not funny.

funny we want to get a bed many are still going on the theory that it's just malfunctioning meters they decided to call someone who would definitely know a certain steely-eyed missile man yeah yeah i'm strong john aaron remember he's the guy that saved apollo 12 with his encyclopedic knowledge of the meters and the readouts someone calls him at home whilst and they get him whilst he's shaving and he asked them to read out a few different numbers he's like give me this number give me that one up are you up Yeah, that's not a malfunction. That's a real problem.

Like he just knows from the numbers. Oh, that is amazing. He says, there's something serious going on up there. And they're like, holy shit, it's been confirmed by John Aaron, man,

the steely-eyed missile man. Which is amazing. Silly-ard missile man. That's got to be top 50 nicknames all time. It's very good. Oh, I love it. So good.

We're not calling you it. Oh, come on. No. You're already the cobra mate. You owe me this chess after cracking at my appearance. Oh,

I'm sorry. I owe it to you after being honest about your weird-shaped head. Can you be honest about my steely-eyed Michel-Man? Michel-Man. Steel-eyed Michel-Man. As long as I'm the steely-eyed Michelin Man. Shadman. I'm the steely-eyed shaman.

Ah, shaman. Look, no one else heard it, but when we were watching the mummy in Sydney a few weeks ago, every time the mummy himself moved around and disappeared into a like a pile of sand, Matt would just lean over to Jess and I and say, shamans. It was so funny. It's so funny. No one else heard it.

Remember when you were too scared to call something out? Yeah, it wasn't. I was like, Jess, you should say this. He was feeding me jokes. He was too shy. Because you were killing. You had them in the palm of your hand.

I was crushing. Good fun. Fuck, we're fun to watch a movie with you. Shenman. Stealy-o-bish-man. So John Aaron's confirmed something serious is happening. Jim Lovell comes to the same conclusion when he looks out and sees a hose and a gaseous substance leaking

out of the ship. So he sees a hose and then like gas is pouring out and he's like that. You can see gas. Yeah, that's not good. I don't, you don't usually look out and see that. Yeah, that's not good. What he's seeing is liquid oxygen pouring out into space and freezing solid. The bad news is this isn't oxygen leaking from tank two because that's gone in the explosion.

This is leaking from tank number one. Oh no. The only other tank they have. Oh no. So if lost one completely, the other one is pissing out oxygen into space. And they need that. They need this. They need this.

This is like literally the air they're breathing. The air they're breathing. It's the stuff that combines for water. That water also combines for electricity. So the big three things you need to live up there. Right. From the pyramid of needs. Yeah, that's right.

They're all right up the top. Their shelter will die. They're the top or the bottom of the pyramid. At the moment, they don't know where they are. Oh, yeah, because of zero gravity. Pyramids don't make sense in space. No. Pyramids of Needs.

Haslow? See the man? We're talking about him? Sure. Who's the girl who does the Pyramid of Needs? No idea. Hasbro. Hasbro.

Is there not a guy? It's the someone's... Doesn't matter. I just assume Dave knows everything, and that must be such a burden when I just throw things at you all the time. Who is it again, Dave? A guy with a pyramid of needs.

Yeah, was it a Chiops? Was the guy that built the pyramid? Wasn't known as Kufu. Remember that from a few weeks ago? No, of course not. I just took my jumper off and I showed just my nipples. Sorry about that. I did not see your nipples.

So if you could lift your t-shirt back up, please. Fuck, I missed my one chance. I also took my jumper off. Does anybody want to see my nipples? Nah. Okay, because it's weird. I can tell myself to do a lot. So. Maslow.

Geez, I was close. Hasbro. So they're leaking oxygen from tank number. number one. And because of this, two of the three fuel cells are down. The remaining fuel cell needs oxygen to produce electricity. To keep the oxygen flowing, the tank needs to have a certain level of pressure. But because the tank is leaking and it's losing pressure rapidly, if it drops below a certain level, the power will stop. Oh, shit. To keep up the pressure, they need to turn the heaters inside on, but this takes up more power, but they're running out of power. So it's a

horrible cycle. This sounds like a convoluted version of speed. Yes. It is like, all right, you've got to keep this level. Yeah, because basically you've got to turn the power up to keep the oxygen flowing, to keep the electricity flowing, but you're running out of that. So you're running out of everything all at once. Terrifying. It's a horrible, horrible cycle.

Cy Leibocott radios up. He says, we're going to get down to 100 PSI in an hour and 54 minutes. That's the end right there. Are they still on their way up to the moon? They're very quickly realizing that. they're not going to make it to the moon. Right. And this is now a survival mission.

Yeah. Which is devastating for everyone. But they're still heading away from Earth. Yes, heading away from Earth at this point. Can they just turn it around? Yeah. Ui. Chuck Ewee?

Chuck Ewee. You got so much space. Yeah. They're doing a three point turn up there. That'll be so much. Just turn. Just turn. It's fine.

You're not going to hit anything. You don't know. This turning circle on this is bullshit. I don't know this area. And then you. You just listen to them, just do a turn, hit a fire hydrant. They're very deep gutters here. I don't want to tuck the nose into the blue stone gutters.

So they're running out of oxygen pressure, meaning soon the service module, the command service module, will be unusable and they need to find an alternative. Chris Craft, the invent, Chris Craft, which sounds like Chris Cross, the inventor. Why is that so funny? It's just so funny that you stop to let us know that a word sound like another word.

Chris Craft, sounds like Chris Cross. It really took me by surprise. You know when you're writing stuff down? You say it out loud for the best time. You're like, oh. Interesting. Chris.

Sounds like Chris Crust. Chris Craft. Important to note that. Chris Craft, Chris Cross. The inventor of the concept of mission control is called in. he was at home showering. So they're very clean people. Shave and showering 24-7.

Got to be clean. Chief flight director, Gene Kranz, calls him and says, Chris, we're in deep shit. Ooh. So they're calling in all the experts. And on the ground, they've got many theories as to where the dangerous air leak that's killing the module is coming from. A big one is that it's coming from one of the three fuel cells themselves.

When the valves are open, they allow hydrogen and oxygen to mix and react, which creates power in the fuel cells. The theory is if they close the valves, then they might be able to stop the leak. Right. The thing is, when the valves are closed, they can no longer provide electricity so it becomes useless.

And once they're closed, they can't be reopened. Oh, shit. So it's a gamble. Right. To close two of the fuel cells, valves, because you've only got one fuel cell left after that,

but they're desperate so they go for it. They decide, all right. Because the alternative is that they just die in an hour. Yeah, They're going to die anyway anyway. So they may as well. So they close them. Sadly, it does not stop the leak.

So now they've just turned off two of the fuel cells for good. We can't get them back online. Down to just one fuel cell and losing oxygen pressure, the command module is dying and they're running out of options fast. In desperation, they have to think outside the box and go for a completely untested plan because they need a lifeboat. And they've got one, but that's not what it's designed for. So Ilebegott suggests that they use the lunar module or the lem as a lifeboat.

They should move the three men from the command service module into the lem. This has never been properly considered or rehearsed before. You know, NASA has gone through every scenario. But they have not considered this before. It's not, it's not regular. It has no contingency plan. But they're like, all right, that's still got power. We'll move from this side of the craft to the other.

Yep. With no other option and only 15 minutes left of power time, they decide to jump ship to the attached limb, 15 minutes before. Is it one of those situations where they're like, don't take any personal belongings, or can they like pack some snacks? That's right. Don't wear high heels. Because you don't know how long you're going to be in there.

So like, can I grab some snacks? I think it's fair. Can grab some stuff? I love to snacks. Yeah. There's always time for snacks. Thank you. Can you bring you know, you know, whatever you've started in the overhead office?

Yeah, of course. All right, great. Let's just, let's your special stuff. Cool. Got a spare jacket, spare pair of underpants, okay something goes wrong. In case I shoot myself. Is that what you meant?

Yeah. You were being a gentleman about it. But it's not an easy swap. To add to the stress, they have just minutes to transfer precious navigation data from the Odyssey's command module computer to those in the Aquarius Lunar module.

Floppy disks, that we're looking at? They're actually having to put it in by hand. Oh. And if they lose or misenter the data, they won't know where they are space and navigating home would be impossible. Oh shit. We've got to put in all their positions and stuff.

Can they not see Earth? It's over there. Like how hard is it? That's the big blue one. The blue one. Go to that one. Oh no, we went to the red one. Idiots.

Shit. And Jim Lovell has to do it all by hand, taking the figures from one computer, writing it down, doing arithmetic to factor in the difference of position between the Odyssey and Aquarius. He was doing maths in that stressful situation by hand. And then he runs to the other computer and then types it all in. He moves back and forth between them.

Any mistakes would mean they won't know where they are. Terrifying. Far out. Command module then has to be turned off in space, something it's never been designed to do. In fact, they're not sure if it can ever be turned back on. And they know that to get back to Earth,

they'll have to get back into the heavily protected command module for rear entry or burn or they'll burn up. You said rear entry there, Dave. I wrote re-re-reentry. Re-reentry. was even worse what I wrote. So does that make sense? So they're getting into the lunar module.

Yeah, which is still attached to the command module, but then they close the hatch behind them. But then they're going to have to get back into the command in order to... Yes. But basically they're like, all right, we've got no power for it now. We'll turn it off now. We'll get back to Earth and then we'll hope to God that we're able to turn the command module back on with a little power we've got for reentry.

Because the lunar module is very thin and it can't withstand reentry into the Earth atmosphere. So they're basically taking. taking a big gamble and being like, all right, and we'll worry about that later. We'll survive now. And then when we get back to Earth, hopefully we can turn that thing back on. It's never been designed to do that. Whoa. You're not supposed to turn it off. Okay. And that's just so you maintain 15 minutes of power. Is that right? Yeah, because they just need a little bit of power to get back into Earth so that they're like, all right, we'll keep the power on this side of the

craft. It feels like it's a very narrow window of, you know, possibly getting through this now. Like a lot of things have to go right. Oh yeah, yeah. It sounds like nearly nothing can go wrong from here. No, no, it cannot. But it does. Oh. They also have to power up the lunar module,

which if going by the usual procedure and checklist takes two full hours, but they don't have two hours. They only have minutes and levels scribbled notes. They're quickly turning it all on, but it's not like a car where you just turn the ignition on. You've got to put this bit on, then this, then this, flick this switch, flick this, blah, blah, blah, blah. Do it all in a precise order or a phase.

but they're just going bang, bang, bang, bang, just doing it really, really fast. Far out, that's stressful. So stressful. And no one's really sure if it will work because the lunar module is not designed to push the 60,000 pound command module. It's not a little tugboat. No, it's not supposed to do that. It's the smaller part. Yeah.

It's got the smaller engine. It's just for zipping around. Exactly. It's sort of like you've got a big RV, you know, driving around the tent. But you've got a little like gets. Oh, that you like, toe. toeing on the back. Yes.

And that's just for zipping around to supermarkets. Little Hyundai. You got a Hyundai. Hyundai. Hyundai. But then the RV has absolutely, you know, shut itself. So they have to drive the gets. The gets.

And tow the RV. That's exactly what's happening. Jess. Well done. I nailed it. I think that's another one. Like Americans say that one right. Hyundai.

Hyundai. Like Sunday. We say Hyundai. Hyundai. Hi undie. We're idiots. Well. We're in Melbourne.

That's right. Right. Surrounded by these fools. So this throws off the lunar module's center of gravity and it doesn't respond to Lovell's controls as expected because it's now got this big thing attached to it. So on the fly, he has to relearn how to control the module. Lovell said, I literally had to learn how to manoeuvre or how to place my controller to get to the proper position.

It took a while for me to do that. But fortunately, when you're in deep trouble, you learn pretty fast. Yeah. Oh, man. Probably just looked up a YouTube tutorial Quickly He's got his laptop with him So yeah

Double Speed and then the bit of start Hello thank you And welcome back to another Remember to like, comment And subscribe First First a message from our sponsors Squarespace

So the lunar module Also known as the lemm Not lemon Hopefully not It's designed to take Two of the crew down to the moon It's much smaller and is only designed to sustain two men for 45 hours at a time. But now it's a lifeboat that will have to support three men for much, much longer.

Oh, much longer than 45 hours. Much longer. Oh, dear. 45 hours. Oh. And so there's only two seats? Yeah, so I guess one of them I said, Crouch.

What have I told you? There's no seats. There's no seats. Can't sit down. No, it's very, very small. How many beds are there? Ten. Well, that's right then.

Is there still zero? gravity. Yes. So you don't really need to sit when you could float. Isn't that true? It's true. But in the command module, it's much more comfortable. There's room for everyone.

Oh, more comfortable than floating on air. Jeez. God, you have impossible standards. Yeah. Jeez. But so Commander Jim Lovell, he was staying positive. He said, as long as we were still breathing, we were going to go as long as possible. If you want to put it in percentages, there was a 10% chance we'd make it home again when

the tank he exploded. as we solved one problem after another, the percentages went up. I love that. It's a very mathematical man. Yeah. 10% chance isn't great, but it's also not completely hopeless.

Worth a shot. Yeah, that would be just enough for me to have some hope. Okay. 10%? 10 to 1. Like there's, the odds are worse

that the Saints will win the Premiership next year, for instance. Yeah. Quite a bit worse. Would you risk stake your life on it? I'll probably not my life, but I'm willing to have a go. Yeah, okay, good on you. This has all happened within two hours of the explosion.

So it's been a chaotic couple of hours for everyone. Now they have to get back to Earth, which we'll cover after this message from our sponsors. Okay, so now they're in the lunar module attached to the fully dead command module. They have to work out how the hell to get back to Earth. Essentially, there's two options. One, Jess, on the money, is to try and turn around and go back to Earth the way they can. Pull a Ui.

What's the other option? Keep going and live on the moon? Well, no, if you keep going forever, I think eventually the galaxy just comes back around. Oh, yeah, good a long way home. It's actually a donut shape, yeah. But they're not sure if the main engine is working after the explosion, so they decide they can't just turn around and go directly back to Earth.

So what are they going to do? Maybe they could use something as a slingshot. They could swim. They just need to find a star or something. to bounce off. I pinball it back. If I've, if space movies are to be believed.

Yeah. Or like a wormhole. That like goes there and then they go back into Jim Lovell's bedroom and you can just go home. Yeah. Through the back of the is bowl shelf. They just land in his house and crush his whole family. But they're alive, aren't they?

The other option. The other option. Sorry. I've just not the family. The other option is continue on towards the moon, fly past it and then back towards Earth using Earth's gravity. This is called A Return to Earth trajectory

They use the gravity of the moon To pull themselves towards that Because now they're close enough to the moon That the moon's starting to pull them towards it They go around the moon in an orbit Then they use an extremely precisely timed thrust From the lens thruster To put them on course

Back to Earth Once they get to a certain point The Earth's gravitational pull Will start pulling them back towards Earth It's cruising Yeah So then you just float along Letting the Earth do all the way

Exactly make the earth work for you. Well, I mean... For once and it's a laugh. Okay. Is that what they're going to do? They decide this is the most viable option. That's crazy.

But it also comes with its own set of hurdles. It's going to take way longer. Yes, this is the long way around, meaning they'll have to conserve their very small amounts of power, water and oxygen. The crew usually get water from the fuel cell, but this isn't working properly, so they're rationed to just half a cup of water each per day. That's not much water at all.

It's more than I drink. You have a quarter of a cup. Oh. Yeah, I wish. I really should work on that. Nah, water's great. Love it. Shout out to water.

That's funny. Like, when I'm just, I'm like, I need to be drinking water. It's like, it's okay. But if I'm thirsty, fuck, I love a water. Yeah, it's so good. Chug that's fucking water all right now. Oh, my God. Chug a lug.

Chug a lot here at my place. They also only had powdered food, which is usually mixed with hot water, but they don't have any of that. So instead they have a semi-freezing water mixed with stuff like spaghetti powder. Oh, yeah, just chopping up lines of spaghetti powder. Dinner's up. Feel those nose spaghettis.

Oh, bonjourno. Bonjourno. A wee-wee. That's French. They also had, and I just did say about snacks, peanuts, cookie and bread cubes. Oh, I'm interested in bread cubes.

Cookie cubes sound good too. The cookie cube sounds real cute. All of a sudden they've got a buffet. They're having a great time. They've also got ruffled chips. They'll clog the instruments. They only have half a cup of water each, but there's unlimited periare sparkling. Back at Houston, a tiger team was assembled whose job was to look for any future problems the crew might face.

Why tiger? They're cool. Oh, okay. not yes tigers are nature's problem solvers you put a problem in front of a tiger it's it solves it tiger team i assume that would be a reason for that but that probably is i think the tiger thing it's just like that's just the name for like a crack team it's been assembled the team was gathered and rag tag of band of

metal wells yeah yeah a few of them rocked up on motorbikes they're pretty bad yeah they're like these guys i know they're the best but god damn it they're hard to rain in hey but they get results The team was gathered They're literal tigers They're mawling people They let them go on flight control And they're just running around

Jumping on the computers Give them time This is their process I haven't seen a mission They haven't saved yet This is also their first mission Oh my god This is a gamble

I've mauled six men The team was gathered And Chief Flight Director Gene Krantz gave them a pep talk saying it's all good we've got a plan. We're going to use the return to Earth trajectory. The crew will be in the lunar module until just before reentry to Earth.

They'll fire out the command module. Get back into that, which is designed to safely reenter Earth's atmosphere. Piece of piss. He's like, easy. Don't even stress. In fact, everybody knock off. We got it. We got it.

Tiger team. I know you just got here, but hey, let's call it a half day. Tiger team out. Tiger team, disassemble. Oh, but 27-year-old flight controller, John Aaron. A certain steely-eyed missile man. John Aaron's there again. Raised his hand and interrupted the most senior flight director at NASA and told him what he's saying is impossible.

The battery is usually used for reentry don't have enough energy to power, back up the now offline command module and keep it alive. Gene Krantz decided on the spot that John Aaron would be in charge of finding a solution. Just because he was like, you're actually wrong there. He's like, you're hired. Yeah. But I think what's really great about this is in looking into this, they weren't afraid to put the hand up and say, this is a good solution. And I think they often back just the best idea in the room rather than I'm the most senior. You don't talk out of turn to me.

They're like, what's this? Unlike last week's episode where someone solved it and they're like, ah, no. Was it, Helen? Helen Jensen was like, it's the Tylenol. And they're like, shut up, Helen. Yeah, but in this instance, at least, they're very much like. But they are all men, aren't they? Yes, I would say that if Helen put a hand up, they'd probably tell it to leave.

Get out of here. What are you doing here? You don't work for NASA. This is not for coffee ladies. they'd say. So John Aaron's in charge of finding a way to keep the power going. First of all, he says they need to turn nearly everything off on the ship. Okay.

The first problem was to find out... My big screen TV. Off. What about my PlayStation? Well, that's fine. What about my mini fridge? Okay. Essential things are fine.

But I have to turn the TV off, but I can have the PlayStation. It's pointless without one or the other Dave. Damn it, you're right. Damn it, you're right. The first problem was to find out what of the essential things on board needed power? this caused big arguments between the different departments of engineers that all insisted their instruments were the most essential. Yeah. They're like, I do the life support.

They're like, I do the oxygen. I do the navigation. And Joan Aaron has to be like, it's only the super essential stuff. Yeah, yeah, life support. Yes. I know it probably sounds essential, but we don't have power for that. Yeah. Oxygen.

Oxygen feels essential. Yes. That's one of the few things. There's also concerns that the lammer only has enough. What about my LED light strip that changes colour? Yes, but make sure it's purple because that's my favourite. Me too. There's also concerns that the lem only has enough power to last one day,

and the journey home will take at least three and a half. So the decision is made to turn off and power nearly everything down to conserve power, including the critical guidance computer on board that tells them where they are. So they're just going to go blind. Yeah, because battery power was just so critically low. They just had to sacrifice nearly everything. To get them back to Earth Apollo 13 had the same amount of electricity used to power a coffee maker or a quarter of a modern day microwave.

Holy shit. That's all they were allowed if they were going to make it three and a half days. We've got to ration it. A quarter of a microwave. So they couldn't even microwave something with the power they've got, but this has to power a spacecraft 200,000 miles home. With three humans in it. Yes.

It's the same amount of power used for two car headlights. It's another way. That's all they've got to spread amongst the whole craft. Wow. And if the battery dies, then so do all three men on board. and they know that. Got to be very careful. Shit.

And I guess they've probably got to keep the headlights on otherwise, you know. Well, you can, no, I'll see you. Yeah. You might accidentally collect the kangaroo or something. Exactly. At least keep the low beams on. Yeah. So you see the kangaroo at the very last second.

Yeah. Oh, there's a, p. So they have to turn off nearly every system. There's no lights, no navigation computer, no propulsion system, and the heaters were all turned off, and it's fucking cold up there. Oh, my God. It was freezing as they coasted through space in the dark. Fred Hayes on board said it was mid-30s Fahrenheit,

which is about two degrees Celsius. That's chilly. They're only wearing cotton body suits, so they put on all three sets of spare underwear. They have to keep warm. Got to keep your jibble it's warm. Yeah. And the two men destined for the moon put on their moon boots.

I don't think I've ever, ever gone, oh, I'm a bit chilly, especially my butt. Right on. You know? My feet get very cold. Yeah. So if you put in the moon boots. You put on the moon boot.

But there's only two sets of moon boots because remember only two of them are going to the moon. Well, I just said my feet get cold. So I get the moon boots. Shuck on other moon boots. Sorry, Matt. Well, I don't have any moon boots. Well, you won't go into the moon. Yeah.

I don't think my feet could fit into you a little. Yeah, I've got tiny moon boots. Your little moon boots. Like little baby boots. Yeah, they're not moon boots. They're moon booties. It's also damp in there. There's lots of condensation on everything.

And to add to the warriors, debris and bits of frozen oxygen travel along with them. And it twinkles alongside and makes it impossible to see the stars to navigate and get an alignment. They just got little bits of shit twinkling on the outside. Sounds pretty. It would be beautiful, but a little bit scary. And with the guidance system offline, they're not sure even which way they're facing. Look out the window. Where's Earth?

So weird. Yeah, because they need to be facing. Facing the right way. Because in space there's no up or down. They're using the moon to fling themselves back to Earth. And they've got to fire the rocket at the precise moment to get them back to Earth. So that makes that very hard. So they have to align themselves to the only thing that they can see, which is the sun.

Oh, they can see the sun. Which is less than perfect, but it's better than nothing. And it was the only way to check Jim Lovell's hastily calculated arithmetic that he'd entered into the computer before. Wow. Thankfully, the sun came around and it was where they'd expected it to be. Because imagine it was on the other side. you'd be like, oh, no, we're facing the wrong way. Which is, wouldn't mean they were heading towards Earth.

Yeah, yeah. I suppose so. They would have saved days of trouble. No, I think they're probably just flying off into nowhere. Oh, okay. And they'd never come back. So they flew very close to the moon and Jim Lovell was pretty down as they flew by because, again, he was so close yet so far.

Second time going past and he's not able to get down there. His fellow crew members who'd never seen the moon up close, excitedly shot pictures of it, started feeling. filming it. And he was like, what are you guys doing? If we don't get home, you're never going to be able to develop those pictures. And they're like, it's so cool. Yeah, but if we do make it home, I can develop these pictures. Yeah. And, you know, and if we don't, I die and who cares. Yeah. Like, why are you being? Shut up, Jim. Now's not the time to be a dick, Jim. We've got three days of this. Jeez. On the ground flight control, I've been doing some serious calculations and

have come up with a plan to fire the lunar modules propulsion engine. Oh, no. It was this third day before retirement. They're going to fire it up for four and a half minutes to get them back on track towards Earth. They call this the PC plus two burn. Oh, that's a fun. Snappy name. This burn would save time on their journey and get them back to Earth half a day early

and mean they're able to land in the Pacific Ocean where they've got a Navy boat station to pick them up. That's where I threw up. In the Pacific? Yeah. You might have thrown up just where they were aiming for. What? This is about me.

I find it amazing that they are able to choose, like where they're going to land. Yeah, it's crazy. They're like, oh, if we calculate it, the Earth will turn this bit and we'll land there. Amazing. Incredible. So far away. But I should add, it's just a theory because the lembs thrusters aren't designed for this, but rather have been mad with the intention to land the smaller lunar module on the moon.

Now it has to power the whole craft home. It's got much less thrust than the main engine that they're usually used to. Yeah, right. You want that big thrust. You want the big thrust. One big thrust. Honestly. That's all it takes.

Yeah. For some of it. Honestly, one small thrust. And thrust. And done. And good night. Sleep tight. Yeah.

That was nice. Yeah. Do you enjoy that? Yeah. Yeah. Catch you the boy. Same time tomorrow So it's risky

But it's all they've got And like a lot of things up until this point They've just got to have a crack They had to time Just right or they could blast off Somewhere into space So they do the burn And amazingly everything looks good

It look like they're on track For a while They're 230,000 miles And still at least 62 hours away from Earth When the master alarm starts to sound again Oh, that's your alarm. My alarm. Master alarm.

Master Dave Warnerke alarm. The environmental control system, their life support system, was alerting the crew that something was drastically wrong in the module. Turns out it's the level of carbon dioxide in the cabin. Carbon dioxide has built up with every breath out from the three astronauts. Oh. The CO2 exhaled stays in the cabin, poisoning the crew with their own breath. Wow, that feels like an oversight that they didn't think about.

about that? Well, they must find a way to remove the carbon dioxide. Now, the lunar module has a system, but it's only designed for two people and for a short amount of time. Right. So basically, they're expelling CO2 faster than the system can mop it out of the air. Oh, so they've got to start breathing slower. They've got to hold their breath for 62 hours. Every, so one of the three has to hold their breath at any one time. Yeah. Well, they're already extremely tired, cold and hungry, and have to respond to the ground controls directions with extreme precision or risk making a mistake that kills them all. And they have to act fast because, the CO2 build up threatens to fog their thoughts even more and affect their judgment,

which eventually it would put them into a coma and kill them. Not a bad way to go. Yeah, I suppose so. As opposed to exploding. I don't know. Maybe each are great. Maybe each are great. How do you choose?

They've all got frozen. How do you choose how to die? Like a kid in a candy store. Oh, so many deaths. I'm overwhelmed. Can I get a bit of both? I just want to get a mixed bag of death. Dave to go on.

Okay, so lithium hydroxide is used to remove the CO2. Carbon dioxide reacts to the lithium hydroxide, which sucks it out of the air as a fan blows through it. And they've got these cylindrical canisters of lithium hydroxide. A fan sucks in the air, and then the CO2, when it goes through, gets taken out. But each of the canisters are cylindrical, as I say. And they can only soak up so much CO2. Like charcoal in a water filter, it can only soak up so much, before it becomes saturated.

I heard a guy on the Smithsonian Channel say that. That's so funny that you were able to put it in the terms that I could understand. Oh, yeah, like, okay, like charcoal and a water filter. Does that make sense to you? Mm-hmm. Yep. I mean, in a similar sort of level that it did already. Yeah, okay.

Well, up in space, they're running low on the canisters. And during the math, there isn't enough for the rest of the journey. So this CO2 is only going to get worse before they die. NASA realizes that there are spare lithium hydroxide canisters over in the command module next door. How convenient. But of course, there is a problem. The modules were built by different companies. In the lunar module, they've got cylindrical canisters inserted into round holes,

whereas on the command module, they've got square canisters that go into square holes, so they are not compatible. Okay. And an oversight, as simple as this, means the astronaut's lives again hang in the balance. So again, they have to improvise and work out how to get a square peg to fit into a round hole. On the ground. Like, like sand it down. Hammer. Hammer it in. Believe. Step two. Enjoy. I still think my idea was probably better than believe and enjoy.

Okay. Are you sanding the hole or the canister? Canister. Okay. What if you sand off so much that the CO2 just starts leaking out of it? So my problem, can it fit through the thing? Well, I think it will be your problem. But that's not what I was, that's what I was instructed to do. I was instructed to get the square peg to fit in the round hole. Well done that. You've done it and your stubbornness means you die.

Great. Congratulations. Thank you. Oh, sweet relief. So they've got to work out this problem. On the ground, another team was put together to solve this problem. Not a target team, just as a regular team this time. They've got to come up with an adapter that the astronauts can use

that will allow them to use the square canisters in the round hole. But of course, they can only use items that are already with them in the lunar module. So on the ground, the engineers get out all the stuff the astronauts, astronauts have with them and just start experimenting, taping bits and pieces together. It's a real Maguire for a moment. Also, it sounds like a fun team building activity. Bit of a fun activity, isn't it? Yeah.

They've got space suit. Something you do at like one of those, I don't know, development days at an office shop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, make that work together. What do we learn from that? When we work together, we get stuff done. So we've got a chicken, you've got a fox. Yep.

And you've got a pig. Yep. And they're all in a boat on an island or something. You've got to get there and back. And then you've got to work out how that pig can get into that round hole. Okay, cool. Well, pigs are kind of round. Yeah.

Great. I thought you'd suggest to sand it down. No, I used my brain. Yeah. Interesting. I'm going to shove that pig through a hole. Yeah. Because it's already kind of round.

Jeez. I'm sorry about that. So they've got bits of shit on a table and they're like working out how to do it. They've got spacesuit bits and instructions. booklets, cardboard, duct tape, a sock are all considered. They're like, they've got socks up there. They thought about stuffing a sock into the hole around the canister and then duct taping it in place to be airtight.

But it didn't quite work. Other parts were flown in from across the country on especially chartered flights as dozens of the world's most skilled engineers workshoped potential solutions, basically playing craft together. It took two days of experimenting and practice before they thought they'd found the correct solution. Wow. Then they, two days, wouldn't they air have run out by them?

Oh, it's getting worse and more. worse at all time. Crew Systems chief Ed Smiley is the man who comes up with a solution using a plastic bag, some duct tape, the cardboard cover from the flight plan and a hose from one of the spacesuits. The idea is the plastic bag is taped over the square canister to create an airtight seal. The hose is then fed into a hole cut into the bag, which is also sealed with duct tape, and then attached to a fan, this creates a vacuum that draws the oxygen through. Great, in theory. But because NASA rarely leaves anything to chance, when the plan was decided upon, a procedure and a checklist had to be created.

And then the Apollo 13 backup crew on Earth were given the instructions in a simulator to see if they could create the device. Meanwhile, the people up in space are dead. They're like bad news, you're dead. The good news is we know how to save you three weeks ago. Yeah, for next time. But it's not such a simple undertaking because the crew on board can't see anyone at NASA. There's no video link.

There's no way to send images. Can't you just FaceTime? Unfortunately, FaceTime is down. Fucking Apple. Oh my God, what are the chances. All they're able to be given is a list of carefully written instructions and an astronaut on the ground, Joe Kerwin is the one task with trying to guide them over the radio.

Kerwin has, he's practised himself over and over again. That's also like a team building exercise. You can't see, I've got the plans and you've got the pieces and I have to explain to you what to make. Yeah, that's a nightmare, honestly. And the instructions are also one step further removed because they were a real A. Kerwin on the ground radios to Swigert, who then repeats the instructions to Jim Lovell who's got all the stuff. Right.

So it's like I tell Matt and then you describe to Jess what to do with the bits and pieces over there. Like a version of telephone or whatever. How quickly would we have a breakdown slash argument? Oh, pretty quick. Yeah. Especially if I'm the one making, so I'm going to snap at you real quick. Are you good at charades? Yes.

Well, I think that would work. Okay, great. Because it's that only we can talk. Oh, yeah, okay. It should be fine. It's a movie. It's the godfather. Is it the godfather?

Yes. We're nailing this. We're so good at this. Wow, we're great. All of the transcripts have been published by NASA, so I'll read out some of the instructions. This is what Kerwin says. Pick up one of the lithium hydroxide canisters and let me describe which end is which. It's approximately square on one.

One of the vented flat ends has the strap, and that end we call the top. The other end opposite, we call the bottom. Is that clear? Over? Yes. And then later on he says, I forgot to tell you to get something to stick in that hole. We recommend you either use a wet wipe or cut off a piece of sock and stuff it in there.

Or you can probably even crumble up some tape and use that. Over? We've got options. A few options. That is nice, actually. Love that. Forgot to tell you. Put something in there.

It takes an hour, but they're able to build the device, which looks so homemade. They nickname it the mailbox. It's a box covered in. in tape with a cardboard book cover over the top and a hose sticking out. I'll post a photo on our socials this week. That, I mean, I can't imagine how sweet oxygen would taste if you thought you'd never have it again. Yes.

I mean, I have no idea. Much like when you're really thirsty or you haven't had a drink for a while and then you have a drink and you can feel it go down. Yeah. So into your tongue and you feel it go all the way down. You're like, woo. I'd be chugging that. Enjoy it.

Enjoy it. Oxygen. I shouldn't take it for granted right now. Yeah. How's that? Oh, yeah. Taste good? Well, they're not safe yet.

Oh. Because it's taken two days of testing to get to this point. And by the time they have worked it out, the CO2 alarm, it's no longer going off. It's not flashing anymore. It's now on all the time. Like when your petrol warning light just stays on. It's now all on the line. Things are desperate and they pray the device works.

So they test it out. and the CO2 begins to drop. It's worked. Yes. Oh my God. So another problem solved. Few. Tick, tick.

Tick. They're on fire here. Not literally. Not literally. Think what? Any more. But they are freezing. They are hungry.

They are thirsty and they are very tired from all the constant problem solving. Fred Hayes tells mission control he hasn't slept for 28 hours. Where are they now? Have they lap the moon yet? They've lap the moon and they're just about to enter Earth's gravitational pool. which will then speed the craft up towards its destination, first thousands of miles, and then tens of thousand miles of miles per hour.

Whoa, that's speeding up. They're on the home straight. But Fred Hayes is not in a good way because he's also developed a urine retract infection up there. Grand crew worry that with the lack of sleep, the astronauts aren't themselves firing on all cylinders, something they'll need to do to reenter the Earth's atmosphere safely. Because it turns out the hardest part might yet be to come.

Oh my God. Another problem comes up. NASA discovers that they're off course and will enter the earth at too shallow of an angle, which means they would bump off the upper layer of the Earth's atmosphere. How wild is that? That's wild. And then you'd bump off and then fly off into space. Imagine after doing all this, you just get bumped off into space.

I thought when you first said that they would bump off, they would knock off a layer of atmosphere, sort of fucking everyone over. Oh, no, they've bumped off one of our layers. Oh, good one. Great. Dick Hedge. Geez. Thanks.

Oh, thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. Watch where you're going. Thanks a lot. Would you watch where you're floating, please? Please. Come on.

Gosh. So they're a little bit off course. They've got to do another burn. This one for 14 seconds. They're forced to use Jim Lovell's wrist watch to keep time. I mean, yeah, that's what it's for. That's all they got up there. Their force to improvise having to keep time with a watch.

But usually they're like, you know, it's very precise. And they've got nothing. everything's turned off so they're like all right i'll time it the burn seems to go well but with the lack of power on board it also means there's a lack of data between the module on the earth so it will be hours before they know if they're back on course or if they've made themselves via wildly away with a scale of this large even a tiny mistake could result in the missing the earth altogether and imagine that just slowly passing the earth or not actually very quickly passing the earth no hours later the data comes through the burn was good

They're back on track. But then they've got the final hurdle, which could be the trickiest, the landing. Got to stick the landing. And the oceaning in this case. Exactly. Now, the lunar module has served them well as a lifeboat, keeping them alive for a few days, but it's not designed to take the extreme forces of landing back on Earth, like I said. The re-entry, it will burn up.

For this, the crew must get back into the much sturdier command module next door. Remember, though, the command module is dead, having been completely shut down. Something it's not designed to do mid-flight, and they're not sure. they can get it powered back up for re-entry. So now they have to hope to guard that they have enough power to power it back up. Because what would happen if it all failed, they'd just bounce. They wouldn't go fast enough and they wouldn't be able to break through the atmosphere. Yes, they'd either go at an angle, it's too shallow and they'd bounce off,

or the other option is that the angle is not right and that it would get too hot. And even with the most protection you can have, they would burn up, basically. So you either bounce off or you're burn up because you've got to get exactly right. Oh, my God. It's very precise. I don't like things that are very precise. Like a lot of baking and stuff if you have to be quite precise.

And I'm like, too hard. Oh, piss off. Yeah, I like to wing it a bit. This is why I'm not an astronaut. Free Paul. Yeah. Free Paul Perkins, they call you. It's me.

To make matters worse, Jess. Normally the command module, there's three batteries used to specifically power it during a re-entry. I mentioned those at the top. Because these were used in the early minutes after the explosion to keep everything powered up. Oh. Because they had nothing else.

they went, I'll use the batteries. So the batteries are drained. Usually they use that for re-entry. You got jumper cables or something? Yeah, they need some cables. I just sort of kicked that problem down the road a bit. Yeah, it's a future then probably. Yeah, that's right.

That was four days. It's four days ago. Yeah. Without the batteries, they can't control their re-entry, which needs to be extremely precise to stop burning up. Like I said, John Aaron, silly-eyed missile man, Oh my God. Has to come up with a way to recharge the batteries.

He spoke to the team rationing the power and worked out they'd been holding back a tiny bit of power for an emergency. And he says this is the emergency. He finds a way to... No shit, John Arons. Oh, you don't know. Let's save it. See if a bigger emergency comes up later.

He found that out. Like, they were hold... Oh, do you think we should... We were holding it for an emergency. He's like, yeah. Yeah, this is it. I need this now. Thanks, John.

Thank God you're here. He finds a way to spread the power, which is equal to powering a hairdry for two hours. That's all it is across the system. That takes a lot. They take a lot of juice. Yeah, it'll take a lot. Two hours is actually a really long time to be drying your hair as well.

How long is this hair? Far out. What is this buddy, Rapunzel? Am I right? Less than 10 minutes. That's a lot of time. You sit there drying over 10 minutes. Maybe.

Why don't you just, like, leave it? Oh, you don't want to see it when I'll leave it. No? Well, all of a sudden, I want to see it when you leave. Yeah, that's intriguing. So in order to achieve this outcome, he has to read out a series of very explicit instructions that involve dozens and dozens and

dozens of switches being pushed in precisely the right order to keep the power at the right level. If they stuff it up, the battery would be stretched too thin and they'll lose power and then they will die. Powering up the command module before takeoff usually takes two or three days going through a checklist. Whoa, that's a long checklist. And no one has ever done it in orbit before. Now time is extremely against them.

So on the ground, they joke that up in space they'll have their instructions by Sunday or Monday at the latest. The joke being that they were due to touchdown on Friday. What a fun joke. Bit of fun. You know how before you said that every problem they solved, the probability increase from 10%? What are they out now?

It feels like 10% might have been overselling it back then. Yeah, I think it was even less. It feels like by now they're at like 11%. Yeah, that's like, oh yeah, I've gone up a bit, maybe up to 22% or something. 17 hours before touchdown, Commander Jim Lovell becomes frustrated because they haven't rated up the instructions and they can see the earth getting closer and closer. But back at flight control, they're dotting their eyes, crushing their teeth, making sure

everything's right. Because it's got to be perfect. Finally, the power-up procedure is given to the crew. Ken Mattingly, who was meant to join the crew, but was bumped due to measles exposure, was heavily involved with the procedure and read it out over the radio to his former crewmates. He spread and rebella to everybody. I'm guessing it turned out he didn't get it. He didn't get it.

He didn't get it. And remember he's the command module pile and this is the command model. So this is his field of expertise. Geez, I wonder, yeah, does he feel good or bad that he missed out at this point? I think he'd feel pretty good. I think you'd feel pretty good. Yeah, I'm good. I'm okay missing out on this experience.

Yeah, I'll take the next one. Take the next one. But Tom Hanks isn't playing him or Kevin Bacon's not playing him. That's what would matter more to me, I think. Yeah, that's right. He could have had Kevin Bacon playing. Yeah, he could have been stuck in a little module, cold and hungry and pretty sure you're going to die.

He could have been that. For a couple of days. A couple of days. What's a couple of days? It's a blip. Yeah. I've heard the instructions that he reads out. It's very detailed.

Jack Swigert, who replaced Maddily on board, takes note of the instructions and writes them on scraps of paper and on other manuals he can find. He must be careful to write down exactly the right instruction because they're not doing it step by step just yet. They're getting ready to do it the next day for entries. So that's why it's so important he takes careful note to go get everything in order. So you read it out to me. Matt. It's not like I'm doing it in real time. I'm writing it down to do tomorrow. So I've got to

write everything correctly in order. And he's doing it on scraps of paper. Far out. And I guess they're doing it ahead of time just in case they lose communication or? Yeah. And probably also you could probably ask questions like what's that mean? Yeah. It takes two and a half hours to read out the instructions. And finally, Swigett thinks he's, he's ready. With the earth looming larger and larger, the crew have some much needed rest before the final challenge. Jeez. If you get to sleep there, doing pretty well, I reckon. But after that long, I suppose.

Oh, you'd be naked. Yeah. Just does off. So remember there's three bits that make up the craft. There's the lunar module that have been sheltering in. That's attached by a cylinder to the service module and the control module, which are one piece. They'll re-enter in the service module, but they no longer need the control module, which they jettison. They just break off a little bit.

It's basically been a dead weight this whole time, but they had to keep it there. And only when they jettisoned the module, they get a glimpse of the damage caused by the explosion. Before this, they only heard parts of it. They couldn't see it. And it's way worse than they expected. They see one whole side of it is missing. They basically see a panel blown off

and basically a quarter of the spacecraft gone. I hope they're snapping a few. Yeah, there's a photo of it, yeah. Wow. And I think that's what NASA bases a lot of their investigation on the one photo. And they can't believe what they're seeing. It's way worse than they thought. seeing how much damage has been sustained

and new worry dawns on them what if the heat shield the fiberglass and resin used to protect them from the 3,000 degree temperatures of re-entry has also been damaged Oh shit They're like we've got no idea Oh shit

It's designed to burn off in layers and keep the heat away from the astronauts inside Any damage to stand could mean the system fails And the crew get instantly incinerated So they just have to hope Terrifying After another 23 second burn The crew were back on target

and with two hours to go, it's the moment of truth. Can they power back up the command module in time for re-entry? And this process is going to take quite a while before they know it's worked or not? Yeah. But they can't do it. They can't do it too early because they don't have enough power. So it's like, oh God. Swigett steps up and goes through his scribbled notes and checklist to get electricity flowing,

flicking switches and powering things on in a very specific order, or whilst floating in the freezing conditions. It's so cold that there's condensation. everywhere and the desk is wet with water. Oh my God. He wipes it down but worries an electrical fire could break out. But also they only had half a cup of water to drink, so would you just not collect it? Just start licking.

Yeah. I'd lick it up. Licking instruments. Yeah, you just put a plastic bag around the gum leaves or whatever, like you do in the bush. Yeah, like you do in the bush. And you just can drink that water then. Put the plastic bag around the gum leaves. It's easy.

Idiots. And Jack Swigot has to do it alone as John Aaron's procedure calls for the radio to be switched off to save power. So that's another reason that Maddenly already gave him the instructions. They can't be on the radio at the same time. They've been listening to K-Rock the whole time. So down on Earth, they're like just in a blackout being like, I hope, hope it's going well.

Hope it's going well out there. Thankfully nothing shorts out. Swigert does everything perfectly and electricity starts to flow through the command module. Whoa. He's able to turn the radio back on and pass on the good news. They're back, baby. Holy shit.

Now the command module is back online running on battery power. They must jettison the lunar module that has been their refuge for three and a half days. That would be emotional. That'd be a bit sad. They grabbed a couple of souvenirs. Buy house. Jim Lovell took an optical site, which is a thing you'd lined up where they were. Fred took some netting.

Fun. Good on you, Fred. It feels like the end of the Wizard of Oz sort of thing. You get a heart. And netting. You get some netting. And then they jettison the lamb. Back at NASA, Joe Kerwin speaks for everyone

and says into the radio, Farewell Aquarius, and we thank you. That's beautiful. That's nice. Time for poetry, you know. From the heart. Don't cry, Matt. Sorry.

It's okay. That was emotional. I am. No, it's embarrassing when you cry. Stop it. Oh, yuck. Don't feel feelings. Yep.

Now all three men are back in the command module. They're only one hour away from the upper atmosphere of the earth. And they don't know, but the world is watching. Oh, finally. Yes, I'm okay. Whilst no one cared enough about the mission to carry Jim Lovell's tour of the module, since the explosion, Apollo 13 has become massive news around the world. And now millions tune in across the planet to watch their risky re-entry.

Yeah, that's not wild. Thanks for watching this. Thanks for watching when we might die. Thanks, heaps. In the USA alone, up to 70 million people tuned in for the reentry. Pope John Paul the 6th led a congregation of 10,000 people in praying for the astronaut's safe return. Ten times that number offered prayers at a religious festival in India. Wow.

The United States Senate on April 14 passed a resolution urging businesses to pause at 9 p.m. local time that evening to allow for employee prayer. I mean, who's working at 9 p.m.? Not many people. Pray power. I wonder if the prayer's got a day. done. Let's find out. They start the re-entry. During this part, the astronauts actually face backwards towards the moon that they came so close to landing on. They're traveling at eight

kilometers per second at this point. That's fast. And everyone has to hope that all the calculations have been spot on and the heat shield hasn't been damaged. They then enter what is known as the blackout. The time where the module is so hot, it's surrounded by a wall of fire that blocks any radio signals coming in and out. Never heard of this before. I think it's amazing. NASA can calculate to the second when this blackout starts and when it should stop. They calculate that they'll lose contact with the crew for exactly three minutes. But after three minutes, they don't hear anything.

This has never happened before. Usually it's exactly precise. If it's going to be two minutes 18, they go bang. After the two minutes 18, they start talking again. The blackout this time doesn't stop as predicted. They hear nothing. 10 seconds goes by Imagine they're thinking the worst

30 seconds go by They start to worry at this point Are the crew still alive A full minute goes by It seems to last an eternity And I think everyone in mission control is like Oh shit Finally after one minute and 27 seconds

They hear on the radio Jack Swaget say Okay Joe They are alive Next up was the deployment Of two sets of parachutes They're worried that they might be frozen they deploy perfectly and the mission control erupts their men are safe.

Oh my God. Imagine if the parachutes fail right at the very end. We've made it all that way. We travelled hundreds of thousands of miles only to have your parachute. Even more incredibly, Apollo 13 splashed down into the Pacific Ocean just south of Samoa was one of the most accurate in the history of the Apollo program. No kidding. That was.

There were just four miles away from the Iwo Jima naval ship designed to pick them up. Four miles. Easy peasy. Four miles. They get into the life raft. Jim Lovell, the commander of the ship making sure that he's the last to leave. In his own words, the commander is always the last to leave a sinking ship. Well, not in recent stories.

No, not in South Africa. He also describes the total surprise that met him because they don't know that people have been following their story. This is from Jim Lovell. Nobody believes me, but during this six-day Odyssey, we had no idea what an impression Apollo 13 made on the people of Earth. We never dreamed a billion people were following us on television and radio and reading about us in banner headlines

of every newspaper published. Only when we read Honolulu did we comprehend our impact. There we found President Richard Nixon and NASA administrator Dr. Payne to meet us, along with my wife Marilyn, Fred Wife's Mary, who being pregnant also had a doctor a long just in case, and Bachelor Jack's parents,

in lieu of his usual airline stewardess. Absolutely. Jack's folks are here, not one of his flusies. Yeah, okay. It's also, it's funny adding the detail of like, well, his wife is pregnant, so she did have a doctor with her just to get. It's like, yeah, okay, yeah, it's fine. Yeah, okay, okay.

But yeah, in mission control. Just imagine, I just not knowing that, did you mention that before, but the whole time been pregnant waiting for your partner to hopefully come back alive? Oh, my God. Terrifying. I mean, full on, with a way. without the pregnancy. Yes.

Honestly, if I was pregnant and my partner was like, I'm just going to pop to space for a bit, I'd be like, no, you're fucking not. I don't care that it's your dream. Absolutely not. They've gone out the window. You're staying in this house. You're not going to be your parents.

Yeah. And you know what? Actually, you want to go on an adventure? I feel like it's some pickles and a donut. So why don't you go get those and get that stupid idea out of your head. Okay, great. See you soon with pickles and a donut. They're the kind of cravings you reckon you'll get?

I don't know. Pickles and a donut. Never know. They're the kind of cravings I get now. Now I want a donut. Are you pregnant, Matt? I'm starting to wonder. Back at Mission Control, they had their traditional celebration.

Cigars all round. Oh my God. Hundreds of them all lit up. Their official mission cigar at the same time. That sucks. I hate that. Good on them, but... Uh, President Richard Nixon awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom

to the Apollo 13 crew shortly after the conclusion of their mission. They received multiple bravery awards around the country and were given various honorary doctorates. All three men are inductees of the International Space Hall of Fame. Wow. Their mission was classified as a successful failure because of the experience gained in rescuing the team. Wow. What a positive spear on it. Look at how much we learnt.

And isn't that part of the journey? Yeah. Jim Lovell retired from the Navy and the space program on March 1st, 1973 and went to work at the Bay Houston Towing Company in Houston, Texas, taking on the role of CEO in 1975. He became president of Fisk Telephone Systems in 1977 and later worked for Centel Corporation in Chicago, retiring as executive vice president on January 1st, 1991.

Okay, so he did all right. In 1999, the Lovell family opened a restaurant in Lake Forest. Illinois called Lovells of Lake Forest. The restaurant displayed memorabilia from Lovell's time with NASA and the filming of Apollo 13, the film. It closed in 2015 and the memorabilia was auctioned off. As well as the Presidential Medal of Freedom, he is a recipient of the Congressional Space Medal of Honor.

He co-authored the 1994 book Lost Moon with Jeff Kluger on which the 1995 film Apollo 13 was based. Tom Hanks, of course, played him in the film. The biggest honour, according to Matt. I think so, yeah. America's father. You're right. America's daddy.

And Lovell was featured in a cameo appearance in the movie, appearing as captain of the recovery ship USS Iwo Jima. Director Ron Howard had intended to make him an admiral, but Lovell himself, having retired as a captain, chose to appear in his actual rank. That's fine. That's nice. I like that.

His wife, Marilyn and Lovell also made a cameo appearance among the spectators during the launch sequence. He's still alive, age 94. No way. And when he spoke to the BBC in 2020, he was asked about what it was like looking back 50 years later. He said in trademark understatement, looking back on my life,

I can leave it with a sense of achievement. Individedly perhaps, somehow I happened to step into the right spot at the right time and be thankful that I can look back and say, hey, I did it. I accomplished a little bit of something unusual. Jesus. Then we have Jack Swigert, who was played by Kevin Bacon.

he's shown as a bit slightly gung-ho and a little bit inept in the movie. But I read that in reality, he basically wrote the manual for the command module. So this was just Hollywood exaggeration. That would be frustrating. Yeah. This guy doesn't know what he's doing. Yeah. He's just fluking it.

He's like, no, I'm very good at what I do. Yeah, no, actually, people consult me about the safety of this craft. Yeah. He ran for a political office a couple of times after the mission. It's actually quite a common thing that I found for US astronauts to seek political office after they retire. That's interesting. Swigot ran for Congress in Colorado and was elected,

but tragically he died from cancer just a week before taking office. Oh, man. And he was only 51, so he never got to see Kevin Bacon. Oh, okay. So that's okay. You can, yeah, the speech, someone's name. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, whatever.

Family who. Yeah, I think that's fine. Whatever. 15 astronauts, including Apollo 13 crewmates, Jim Lovell and Fred Hayes were among the thousand mourners at his full military-honoured funeral in Denver, and he was honoured with a flyover from the Colorado National Guard. Wow.

Fred Hayes went on to fly five space shuttle approach and landing tests in 1977 and retired from NASA in 1979, after which he became a test pilot, an executive with Grumman Aerospace Corporation, where he remained until he retired in 1996. He's also still alive, age 88, was played by Bill Paxton. Wow, that's pretty cool. Two of them are still alive.

Yeah, I was wondering if there were any long-term health effects of the ordeal, but it sounds like not that negative. No. Anyway. Two or three are still alive and lived very long lives. Very long lives, yeah. Ken Mattingly, who was taken off the mission due to being exposed to measles, later flew as command module pilot for Apollo 16 and made 64 lunar orbits,

making him one of 24 people ever to have flown to the moon. Wow. So he got there. Well, I'm happy for Ken. Good on him. During Apollo 16's return flight to Earth, maddingly performed an extra vehicular activity EVA, which is where you actually do a spacewalk on the outside.

Oh. To retrieve film cassettes from the exterior of the spacecraft, the command and service module. It was the second deep space EVA in history. What? At great distance from any planetary body. He's still alive age 86 as well. Wow.

That's kind of cool. And he's played by Gary Seney in the movie. Oh yeah, so that's my report on. on Apollo 13. I just want to say if people want to find out more, there's a fantastic podcast made by the BBC called 13 Seconds to the Moon. Second season of that is awesome, is about this and you can check that out on the BBC website or a podcast app or a documentary I loved called 13 Factor 13 Factors that saved Apollo 13. And if you just want to watch the Hollywood movie, it's awesome. I loved it. I haven't seen it. I don't think. It's really, really good.

The thing that blew my mind about it is. So it was made in 1995. That is closer to the time of the disaster than we are to that movie now. Yeah. More time has passed since the movie. Holy shit. It was only 25 years after the disaster, but 27 have passed since the movie. So I was like, what the hell? That's pretty cool.

So yeah, but that is my report on Apollo 13. Well done, Dave. Honestly. Block Tacula. That's right. I think word count wise, it's my longest report ever. So you've got to pull these things out for Block. Oh, you do.

I wasn't sure what was going to happen because I couldn't remember if it was a disaster. It was a disaster. but if it was like if they all died. And honestly it was ruined when you said he wrote a book about it. Oh, you didn't know. No, I didn't know. So that was very excited. Maybe edit that bit out, Dave.

Yeah, very exciting stuff. What a story. Well done, Dave. A successful failure. I love it. That could be the title of my autobiography. What a fantastic report that was, Dave. I loved hearing about Tom Hanks and what he got up to.

What a guy. Tom Hanks. I love Tom Hanks. And before we move on to everyone's favourite section of the show, Christmas is coming up soon, Kishmish, as you might say,

and we have a tradition of sending out a Patreon Kishmish postcard. And if you want to get involved in that, if you want to have one delivered, you know, pending your local post system. Yeah. We will definitely send it to you,

whether it arrives. That's out of our hands. That's right. We believe the vast majority arrive. Yeah. We've sent one to every continent except Antarctica. And I think at least one

on every continent's made it, right? Yeah, I think that's... It was sent us photos from Japan and stuff South Africa with them. A lot of... Yeah, like the vast majority of them do make it, but yeah, we do hear sometimes that they arrive two or three years late.

It's exciting, isn't it? Well, like 98% of them're working. And what a way to incentivise people. You can edit any of that out that you think might put people off, Dave. But if you want to be involved in that, sign up on the Patreon at patreon.com slash too-go-on pod at the arse prod level,

the associate producer level. Or above. Or above. Everything above. At that level and everyone above, we will send anyone in the world a Kishmish card. That's right. And while we're talking about Kishmish,

we're doing our eighth annual Christmas episode this time, like it has often been, it's live. Live this time at Comedy Republic on the 3rd of December. Remember, remember the 3rd of December. Now people will never, ever forget. And that is, if I'm not wrong, a Saturday night, big Saturday night, 6.30, an early show, come along, get festive and then afterwards you can go out for dinner in the city. I can't wait for that.

I'll freaking love Christmas. I don't know if you know that about me. I finish work at 6pm on Saturdays. So it's exciting for listeners, I guess, make a game of it. Will you beat Jess to the venue? Probably. Yeah, probably, yeah. Will Dave and I beat you there?

Hopefully, because someone's got a set. Someone's going to set up. I'll be there. It won't be me because I will be at work. We'll be on stage waiting with our Christmas hats on. And as you run into the venue, we'll say, hello and welcome. It's another Christmas special. And while we're telling people about things,

my first ever stand-up special taping recording Nailed that. Is going to go out live on the stupid old channel online for free. And it's going to be premiered if you want to watch it with me and others on the stupid old channel. Wednesday the 26th of October at 8 p.m. Melbourne time. You're going to watch it live with the audience. No, well, I mean, just when you premiere something on YouTube, something that I've done

together before. Many times, yeah. You can chat along. You can chat along. Yeah, yeah. Doing that. I probably won't be watching, but I'll, you know, I'll be in the chat. No, but be in the chat and be like, just wait for this punchline.

Here it comes. Wow, wasn't that great? And then I'd be like, oh, yeah, I should have written a punchline for that bit. Yeah. Sort of just fades out a bit, doesn't it? It'll be fun. It's like live commentary. So that's the 26th of October.

Remember, remember, the 26th of October. Remember, remember, the 26th of October. You can watch that and get pumped up because you can see Matt live in the UK with me also doing stand-up and our podcast book sheet and who knew it with Matt Stewart. And a little tour we're doing around the UK in November, starting on the 8th of November, running through to the 20th. And between those two dates, we'll be in Birmingham, Glasgow, Leeds, Manchester, Bristol and London. London. I don't think they say between over in the UK. They say betwixt.

Between those dates. Betwixt the 8th of November and the 20th of November. Of those locations, how many can I expect a magnet to be brought back from? Oh, well, I guess that depends on how many magnets the audience members bring to give you. Oh, great. Yeah, perfect. I'd welcome that. They bring gifts to give to you.

I love it. Yeah. We'll bring one spare bag, an empty bag, with us to fill with. If you have any gifts that you want to give to me, you cannot do it in person, unfortunately, as I will not be there, but you can pass them on to my bag boys, and they will bring it home for me.

I absolutely promise we'll do that for you. Thank you. Jess, you are, of course. If you want to bring things that are a biohazard and you want to get Dave pulled over in security, feel free. I'm talking dirt. I'm talking.

Clippings from plants. Batteries. Batteries. Yeah, I'm talking food. Bag of acid. Bag of acid. If you want to give Dave a flimsy plastic bag of acid, please feel free. Carry on only.

Somehow he gets through security and then you've got a deal. I've got a bag of acid. That will be calmer. I'd feel like such a fool. Jess, I mean, obviously the invitation is still there for you to come with us. Are you still thinking about it? I never said no but the tickets were booked

No no no I have a I have a job unfortunately That I do not have enough annual leave Hey but don't worry We'll be bringing those magnets back for you Yes that's all I ask and bags of acid So yeah just to recap If you would like to receive a do go on Christmas card

Make sure you join the Patreon Patreon Patreon.com forward slash dugone pod By the end of October We need a bit of time to get them to you you. So by 31st of October is the cutoff. Halloween. That's the spookiest day of the year. Oh my goodness. Spooky. And yes, we have Christmas shows. We have a UK tour. All of that information is on

our website, do go on pod.com. All right. Now that brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show where we get to just spend a little bit of time with our fantastic supporters. And if you want to be a supporter, you can go to patreon.com slash do go on pod. And yeah, there's a bunch of different levels. Dave, what are some things you can get

involved if you're there? Different levels, different rewards. Some of them include. You get to vote on topics two out of the three topics voted for by the Patreon supporters.

So you get to steer what we talk about on the show, of course. You can join a Facebook group which is very, very lovely. Honestly, it's just the only nice bit

about Facebook for me. You can get three bonus episodes a month as well as access instantly to the back catalogue, which is now over 150 bonus

episodes, there's reports, there's quizzes, there's who knew it's with Matt Stewart's, there's all sorts of things on there, and of course, phrasing the bar. That's right. And now, if you're involved on any level, you can submit questions for who knew it with Matt Stewart as well, unless you just said that. I was distracted by Jess's dog. I didn't say that bit. Okay, fantastic. He was so quiet and playing peacefully until we started recording. And now he's like, I'm going to throw this loud toy. He's like, oh, Mike's wrong. I'm around the room a lot.

So, yeah, the first thing we like to do for one of our great supporters or the levels is the Sydney-Shaunberg level. If you're involved on that level, you get to give us a fact, a quote, or a question in the section that I like to call fact-quote or question. And has a jingle go something like this. Fact-quote or question. Ding! Always remembers the ding. Always remembers the jingle. And, yeah, get involved via the Sydney-Shanberg level.

then you get to give us a fact, quote, a question, or a brag or a suggestion, or really whatever you like. One week, someone gave us a recipe. And you also get to give yourself a nickname or a title. And this week, the first one comes from Andrew, but I go by Andy Swibs. And Andy Swabs has given himself the title of Senior Junior President of I Drive Near or Through Gary a Lot because I live in Chicago. Ah, the Windy City. Wow. What a privilege to drive near or through Shirey.

through Chicago, obviously, and also through Gary. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't drive through it. I'd drive into it and remain there forever. Forever. I would die there. I would die there. I would live there first.

According to reports, I think it might be true. No, I would live there a long, happy life, and then I would die there of an old age and... Thank goodness. In my sleep. Yeah. Peacefully. Yeah.

And everyone would say, well, I'm glad she loved her time in Gary. India. And Andrew has... Oh, sorry, Andy's... swabs has offered as a brag which is this this may come as a shock to uh this may come as a shock to you but i drive through gary indiana frequently oh you gave a lot of this away in the title in fact i posted on the facebook page that i was able to see my niece at her first rail cats game oh wait what i got to see my niece at her as in she played for the rail cats keep reading up

maybe you'll get answers can't wait for the pot of to come to Chicago. No, okay, you won't get answers. I happen to know a ton about Chicago and that bit of Indiana in and around Gary. That's my favorite bit of Indiana. Wow.

If you have any questions, if and when you come. Cheers, Andrew, sorry, Andy Swabs. I thank you. Wow. You brought a little joy. To this old man. Wow, and your niece may play for the Gary into Indiana. I reckon maybe they...

It's just the first game she went and saw them. I reckon. That's my guess. Either way, fantastic. Thank you very much, Andy Swabs. This one comes from Tessa Chilcott, aka really running out of imagination. So when my mum would go through a lot of different cousins names and my sister before getting to my name, she would say, I live no, hey, no, wait, Tessa.

I used to get that from my mum. You said, go give it, Tom Matt. Yeah, tomato. Tomat. Tomat. Kind of what I thought of my name was for a while. And Tessa's given us a quote. This quote is, tell me and I forget.

Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn. Oh. Jess, maybe that's something that you could keep in mind when dealing with your dog. And that quote comes from one and only Benj. Ben J. Eamon Frank Lyme.

Wow. My favorite poet. Ben Jiamen Frank Lime. Why? Yeah. Any relation? Is he, is he a president or is he an inventor? No, not a president, but an inventor.

Inventor. But also like a founding father. Yeah. Yeah. So you can see why I get mixed up. Yeah. So I think people frequently. And I think he's on.

He's on money. He's on money. That's right. Benjamin's. They're $100 bills probably. Or $10 bills. Depending on, I think it's, people say, spending Benjamin's. Oh, man.

He's on the $100. 100. Wow. Wow, geez, Louise. Who am I here talking about money? Probably in movies. It couldn't be people you know. It must be in movies.

Nobody we know would have $100 bills. Probably pop stars. Yeah, they'd probably sleep on Benjamin's. Swimming in them. Must be nice. Probably bored of them. Must be nice. It must be very, very nice.

Thank you, Tessa. Fantastic quote. Next one comes from Nick Fidion, aka Master of forgetting to submit a fact quote or question. Is it true, Nick? It's tough. I mean, yeah, it's sort of like a contradictory title there, as this is you remembering. That thing.

Interesting. Makes you think. Lies. Nick's asking a question writing, I keep forgetting to submit these. And then when I go to, I struggle to think of something and then fear that I'm going to end up submitting something I or someone else has already submitted before, especially if it's backed. With this in mind, what is your go-to? fun or interesting fact. Mine, he goes on to answer his own question.

Love that. Thank you. Thank you. Mine, which I think I've submitted before, is that in the time it takes listen to 500 miles by the Proclaimers, the International Space Station will have traveled 500 miles and then 500 more. Get absolutely fucked. If you've told us that fact before, I don't recall. I've never heard that fact in my life, and I love it.

I love it, too. Are you kidding me because I love that song? La da da da. A lot of fun. That's right. Every time they say that, they've traveled like 30 miles. That's crazy. Wow.

That's so good. Nick Fiddy and fantastic work. Thank you, Nick. Here's the thing, Nick. You're worried about submitting something that other people already have or maybe you haven't before. That doesn't mean I'm remembering it. In fact, I definitely won't. So every new fact you tell me is new to me.

That's right. Someone recently posted in the Patreon group. Oh, they read out my fact. two weeks in a row and didn't even notice. We did though. Did we? We did. We did.

I did actually, surprisingly. We, yeah, we, we recalled it. We were both saying, whoa, what is it not nostalgia? Deja vu. But to that end, Nick, I don't have a go-to fun fact because my memory is shit. So I can't even, like on the spot, I can't think of a fun fact. The fun fact I think of but can't really recall was given in the fact for quote or question section a year or two ago and it was about Dave, maybe you can. It was about me.

It was about me. No, it wasn't about you, but it was about time. And I think maybe it was something like what you mentioned in the seven wonders of the world thing. Oh, Cleopatra on the iPod. That's what I was thinking of right there. And so Cleopatra was born closer to the invention of the iPod than the creation of the Pyramids of Geeseer. Fuck. She's closer in time to us now.

That's wild. I thought of that too when he said fact. I was like, because that's the most recent one I've said, here's a fact. You're like, I've got one. It's funny because I could remember the pyramids.

I could remember Cleopatra, and I remember that it was something about time. And that's not enough to say out loud. It's not bad, though, is it? You think if you're at the pub, the Cleopatra and the iPod, they're far apart, but not that far.

I didn't even have the iPod bit, though. Right. each had Claire Patron time. I've just googled. That's pretty good. I just googled fun facts. And the number one that's come up is impossible. It's possible for most people to lick their own elbow.

Most people, because I fucking can. You can do it. Sorry I read over your shoulder there. I got excited. Another fun fact that I think of sometimes is how Wombats shit cubes. Oh yeah, that is fun. And the final fact, quite a question. What's hurt your asshole, hey, unless they've got square shaped.

Must hurt your asshole, hey. Every time I say hey now, I think it can. every time I do it, you do that. That's fun, I love it. No, but it reminds me of when I was a teenager and I started saying like a lot. And every time I said like, my mum would go, like. Oh, that's fun.

And she sort of beat it out of me that way. So now... I'm not being out of it. I'm trying to beat it into you. You're trying to copy me. You're trying to be like me. Yeah. Is how I'm choosing to take that.

Trying to beat it into me. Anyway, next. Finally this week. Oh, this is an interesting one. I don't read this, I read them. The final one comes from Dave Warnocky, open bracket, best host, closed bracket. Okay. Dave, have you signed up on the...

I have. I support you. Do you guys support me? Yeah, in so many ways, yeah. Okay. Well, Matt supports you emotionally. I physically carry you everywhere. Thank you so much.

I hate stares. Dave's title that he's given himself is definitely not a virgin. Wow. And he's offered a brag. You're going to have to explain what's going on after I was out. I will. I will explain. The brag is, I promise I had sex at least one time, books forever. It does sound like him.

I've heard him say books forever. And it does sound like me. I've definitely had sex. So is that a fact? You've definitely said that you've had. No, that's a brag. Fuck, should have been a fact. Damn it.

What was I thinking? Okay, I can explain what's happened to you. I was in London, not that long ago, to do a one-off live book cheat. And then after the show, fantastic support of the show, Milton Keynes' own, Ben Johnson, came up to me and said, would you fill out my next fact quota question for me? And handed me his phone. And it was like an Android.

So you did write that. Yes, but it was an Android or a Samsung. I couldn't work out the keyboard. It was really stressful. So I panicked. And I thought of the only thing that I know 100% to be true. And that is I am definitely not a virgin. Oh, God, but just the passionate, passionate defense.

Damn it. So suss. So that is a brag from me, but also a fact from me. I honestly did submit that via Ben Johnson. Okay. But what's the best host part of that? Yeah. That's interesting, isn't it?

Maybe Ben wrote that bit. Oh, okay. Yeah, throw Ben under the bus. Ben did not write that bit. I know. I know. I know. All right, that brings us to the next part of this section of the show where we thank

a few of our other great supporters. Jess, you normally come up with a bit of a game based on the topic that we just talked about? Well, I think, I mean, there's so many amazing parts in this story. Obviously, our favourite part being a steely-eyed missile man. John Aaron, what a guy. No, no, no. I don't ever need to remember his real name. He's a steely-eyed missile man.

What if we gave everybody a four-part nickname? Stearly-eyed missile man. Thank you for checking that. I'm sure you would have, you would normally say that's too cumbersome for a nickname. Yeah, it is. Nicknames should be short, but this is really more of a, less of a nickname, more of an honorary title. Still out of missile, man. Like, if you use shorten it, it becomes sim.

That's cool. Hey, Sim. Stearly eyed. Missal man. It's like seam. Yeah, I'd say sem. So I don't know how you're getting sim from that. That's Sim.

Stealy. How do you spell eyes, Dave? Well, you didn't write the report. You didn't see it written down. How's it written, Dave? I apostrophe D. Oh. Steely, I would missile man.

That's what it's short for. Do you mind if I kick us off here? Please. I'd love to firstly thank from Upper Chichester, which I would have put a million dollars on being in England. No, it's in Pennsylvania in the United States. I'd love to thank Nina and Brian Burckhardt. Oh, some good names.

Fantastic name. Nina and Brian Burckhardt. It's already a four-part. Already a four-part of. They've nailed it. So I guess we can leave the and in there. Yeah. So that means we've got one word each, all right.

Rocket. And. No, you've got to do the, all right. Rocket and watch. Gang. Rocket and watch gang. Oh, I like that. Yeah, Rocket and watch.

I love two people being a gang as well. Yeah, I love that. Is that the bare minimum? Yeah, I think that's the very bare minimum. The rocket and watch. Gang. Are we a gang? Yeah.

From Upper Chichester. We're the Upper Chichester. We're a gang. Are we a gang? Yeah. I'd also love to thank from Palm Harbor in Florida. Palm Harbor. Palm Harbor.

In the United States, it's Tim Fisher. Tim Fisher. The ex-de deputy prime minister, Tim Fisher, I wonder. The ex-deity prime minister. Woo-hoo! He's like, yes, that is my... It's on my nickname. That's my title.

Yes. That's what we're doing. I prefer former deputy prime minister rather than X. But okay. X also sounds a little bit badass. Sort of like Olympians like, I'm not an ex-Olympian. I'm still an Olympian, okay? Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. All right, you've got the little tattoo on your arm to prove it. Yeah, we get it. Beijing, baby, or whatever. Rio. No, I saw you in Atlanta. Cool. Awesome.

You came ninth. Top nine. Pretty good. In the world. Honestly, that is. That is quite impressive. But, like, lose. Lose the Tude, you know what I mean?

Okay, all right. And finally for me, I'd love to thank from Liverpool in Great Britain. Ellie Bacon. Ellie Bacon. Oh, great name. Ellie Bacon. Allie bacon. Let's get into your Liverpool accent there, Dave.

How do you do that? Well, I normally think of someone impersonating Paul McCartney. I'm thinking of bacon. I'm thinking of the buffet breakfast bandit. Oh. Blanca. Yeah, here we go. Having a little twinkle on the keys.

Can I say buffet breakfast bandit? She's the buffet breakfast bandit. That's good. That's good. I like it. That's great. Buffet breakfast bandit's fantastic. Best kind of buffet, I reckon.

A breakfast? Or I lie. No, yeah, it's much better than a dinner, I reckon. It sort of depends. As someone who doesn't eat eggs or bacon. Okay. Breakfast options are a little limited sometimes. Because what I like about the breakfast buffet is the bacon.

Is the bacon and the eggs? No, it's the fact that you know what you're going to get. Like, there's only so many things that are considered breakfast foods for a buffet. But at a dinner one, it could be anything, it's open to every cuisine. That's true, yeah, yeah. You get in there, you're like, oh, I don't really feel like Italian and Thai tonight. You know, there's too many options, but with breakfast, you know what you're going to get. Unfortunately, for you, you know, you're not going to like it.

No, but, you know, sometimes there's, like, lots of nice fresh fruit or a pancake station. Or a hash brown. Fuck, a lot of hash brown. You get, sometimes you get a nice range of cereals. Yeah, that's fun. Oh, yeah. Juses, usually get apple, orange, maybe pineapple. That's nice.

Then there's grapefruit and I get tricked every time. I'm like, oh, this looks sweet. Oh, God. Whenever, I mean, I'm just thinking about the one that we stayed at for the Thai podcast festival. That's absolutely what I was thinking, yes. That tiny banana? Do you remember that tiny banana? But my thing there was I would get bread, toast it, then I'd butter it with blue cheese as the spread.

Oh, my God. butter with blue cheese. And then bake beans on top. I've never heard something so extravagant before. It's all included. Buttered with blue cheese. You're losing money not to get it. Yeah, you're right.

Hey, Jess, would you like to thank a few people? I would love to thank some people. I would love to thank from Atlanta, Georgia. 96. The toilet. I would love to thank Alex. Oh, Alex from Atlanta.

That's already good. All right. So Atlanta. I'm thinking of like the Falcons in the NFA. Okay. Or the hawks in the... So there's... So the birds or the big birds.

So what about something big bird? Like an airplane. Like an airplane bird. Oh, okay. That's good. Or lab, for shorter, I'm getting that one right. Like airplane bird, yeah. Well, they'd say like an airplane bird.

Airplane. Like an airplane bird. Like an airplane bird. That's good. It's something from a theme. Alex, you've got to be thrilled with that one. That is good stuff we've given you there. Steely-eyed missile man, like an airplane bird.

It's Alex from Atlanta, like an airplane bird. Yeah. Okay. If that wasn't enough, now you've got to jingle. What more do you want from us? Sometimes we go, we've got to give you a little bit more here. We sure change it. We'll give you a little bit.

That sucks. I'm sorry about that. I love it. Like an airplane bird. Alex from Atlanta. I would also have to thank from Location Unknown, deeper than the Fortress of the Moles. Bradley Williams.

Bradley Williams. Brawill. Brabill. Brabill support you. Bra will support you. Bra will support you. Bra will support you. Sorry anything?

That's nice. That's his nickname. It's nice. Support his kind of person. Brar will support you. Yeah. Like an airplane bird Brough will support you

That works I think we've lost it a little bit It comes to breakfast buffet bandit I think we'll do better on the next slide I reckon Brer will support you No I will support you

And then like in the cartoon Bras got their hand out For a big shake Brough, bra We'll support you Brough Just like that Brat

So finally for me I'd love to thank From Long Beach California Dennis Ah, the sexy, sandy, surfers, son of a bitch. That's one word, that last bit. That's the one word.

The sexy sandy surfers son of a bitch. It's four words. No, not a shadow of a doubt. There's alliteration in there. Ooh. And it feels fitting to the location also. You know? Yeah.

In California. Did you mean that? That's a long beach. Did you mean that? And Dennis is actually spout with four S. Yeah. What does that stand for? Dennis.

Dennis. Where's that come from? Nice to meet you. Of course. Brah, we'll support you. Dennis. That's good stuff.

Maybe it's time for you to jump in and thank you. Hey, I'd like to take you all the way from Long Beach to Oklahoma City. Oklahoma. Okay. See, in Oklahoma, it is Adriana Gray. Adriana Gray. Now, Oklahoma City, is that, am I right and thinking that's the Pelicans?

No, that's New Orleans. That's Nola. The Thunder, of course. Yes. Josh Giddy's team. That's right. Russell Westbrook used to play there. I knew it was one of the slightly irrelevant teams.

Okay, C. You know, they call it OKC, the team. Okay, C, yeah, okay. So Giddy, I think, is already great. Gray we've got, so Giddy Gray, the Giddy Gray goose. It can finish it. What's someone to kick us off there? Oh, the, I guess.

The giddy grey goose. Fuck, yeah. Oh, the giddy grey goose. The giddy grey geese. Is that slightly easy to say? The gritty grey geese. And that's Adriana grey. That's good.

Because one goose isn't enough. Yeah. Yeah. Flok of geese. That's Adrian of grey. Again, it's a gang. Yeah. Flok of...

What's the collective noun for geese? Is it a gaggle? What's gaggle or? Yeah, it's gaggg. It's not. gaggle something Yeah And that's another bird

But I don't think it's geese Gaggle It's giggle It's giggle Apologies for I was so sure it wasn't And I was like you guys Hey you looked it up

Don't worry People haven't yelled too much Hey Adriana Gray Love your work And I'd also like to thank From Greatest of Britons In Enfield Enfield

It's Alfie Hanks I'm Alfie Hanks Alfianks How do you do? You do love, I'm Alfianx. To Alfianx. To the great man. To Tom Hanks.

No, to Colin Hanks. To Colin Hanks? I don't think so, no. Okay. I'm Alfianx. I'm Alfianx. All right, love. All right, Nicknoy.

Toilet. Nicknick name. All right, I'm Alfianx. That's good. You got Alfianx in his nickname. Yeah, all right. I'm Alfianx. Jess was going down a great path here with toilet.

Yeah, because you guys always call people toilets in that accent. It's fun to yell. Oh, you shut your lid, you toilet. The lid. The lid shutting toilet. The lid shutting toilet. What about the Great Lid shutter? The Great Lid shudder.

I see a toilet. I shut that lid. Yeah. I'll shut it down. All right, boys. You got to put the lid down. It's hygienic. It's also about respecting other people in our house.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you either keep it down or I put you down. I'll shove your head in the toilet. If they're flush. goes and the lid is up, your spraying projectiles of all sorts of yuckiness all over the bathroom. Our toothbrushes are out there. All right. All right. You have poo particles? Have I heard of them? Get the lid? You want to brush your teeth with poo particles? I didn't think so. So let's close the lid, flush the toilet. That's right. Shut the lid, flush the toilet. All right. All right. All right.

Now what you say. Thank you, Alfie. That's right. You welcome. Another lid well shut. Moving on. I'm the great lid shutter. I'm going door to door knocking. Knockin on door. Don't people shut there fucking lids. Let's say it's already shut. It's already shut.

It's already shut. Provet. Show me your toilet. Show me your lid. And then while I'm in there, I rob them. Yeah. That's right. Man's got to eat.

I've got multiple used tooth brushes at home. Sell them online. Haven't had any tokens yet. But it's a slow process. It's an economy thing. Yeah, on the great lidshar.com.com. All right. All right.

I'm Alfie Yanks. So yeah, that's Alfie. Thank you so much. Thanks, Alfie. Sorry, we blacked out for a second there. Hope whatever we came up with was good. Did we give them a nickname? I don't know.

I'm not sure, but we have to move on. And finally, from Brisbane, back home in Australia, it's Leo McMonagle. God, that's great name. Holy shit. Leo McMonogel. That is good. It's fun to say, isn't it, McMonigle. McMonigle.

McMonigle. Mick Monagel. Liam. Liam. L.C. LMC. LMC. Snack?

LMCM. LMCM. Because it's Mick, Mick. Oh my God. So LMCM. What could that stand for? Lots. No.

Ludacrously. Ludacrously. Mega. Clever, man. Oh, ludicry. Ludecry. The. Mega.

Mega clever man. Ludicrystly, Mega Clever Man. That's what they call me. Or LMCM. Yeah. You rang. Sorry,

got a call. LMCM here. Ludaciously, what did you? You need something sorted out? I'm ludicry. Mega clever man. You got a problem with all?

What do you need to? Get me in. Call me in. I'm here. I hope you out. What's the problem? He'll be there. Like an airplane bird.

Thank you so much to Leo Alfie, Adriana, Dennis, Bradley, Alex, Ellie, Tim, Nina and Brian. I really appreciate your support. Great. Thanks so much. You keep in this show bloody happening. I think that those nicknames truly rival, the Steely-Ey-Eesselman himself. Yeah. I think they could be game changers for each of those.

That's right. They're going to rebrand. I can see a few personalized number players being printed up as we speak. Yeah. They'll need multiple automations. mobiles to get them across their fleet. No one was from WA. Have you noticed over there they have like full sentences as there?

No. I don't think there's a limit on the characters. That's fun. I haven't noticed that far. There must be a limit but it's more than the six that we get in Victoria. We're going to be really strategic here. I'm over there like this week. I'll check it out.

Check it out. Have a look. All right. Well, the next thing we like to do is welcome a few people into the Triptage Club. This is the last thing we do in this section of the show. These people have been supporting the show for. three straight years. Can you believe that, Dave?

Three straight years, that is an incredible effort. And because of that, we induct them into a special club. Yeah. It's like a bit of theatre of the mind, as Matt says. It's a clubhouse. It's a bar. It's a tree house if you want it to be. Treehouse, Chris is there.

Exactly. Treehouse Chris. He built it three stories. He built it on Met. I just think of it as an airport lounge. Fantastic, but like a nice one. A really nice. A first class.

And it's got like really nice showers and like, you know, there's little rooms you can go have a sleep. That's help paint the picture out a little bit in my head because I picture more like a Las Vegas lounge, you know, with booths and this sort of stuff. But now that I'm sort of panning around a bit and saying, oh, there's showers, say, oh, there's an airport right there. Yeah, yeah. You can come from anywhere.

That's handy. Absolutely. But instead of an airport, it's a portal. You just stepped through it. Oh, wow. An airport. An airport. Wow.

So normally what we do is. do is I'm standing at the door. I've got the clipboard. I'm going to read out six names tonight. If you're lucky enough to have your name read out, you step on through that. Air portal. Into the club. Dave's on stage. He will hype you up, get the crowd cheering your name. He'll also do some weak punnery on your name. I think that's what he does. And then Jess supports him because Dave doesn't believe in himself. Thank you so much. And Dave, you also normally book a band for the after party. Yeah, you're never going to believe this. Who you got? I've got. the king of soul himself.

James Brown. Whoa. Who also happens to appear on the Apollo 13 soundtrack, but that's just a coincidence. Fuck, you're good. How do you do it? I don't know.

I'm really, really good at booking. That's amazing. You're good at admin. Godfather of soul. Is that what they call him? Sorry, King of Soul. But James Brown, an amazing. Wow.

Honestly, I put him up for a vote for before. I think he came second. I think one of else. Well, he did live a wild life. Yeah, wildlife, incredible life. I've hoped to do a report on him one day. But before then, we're going to get him on. stage and he's going to rock this club.

Jess, you're normally behind the bar. You normally make a cocktail in the name of the topic. What's the Apollo 13 cocktail involved? The Apollo 13, um, obviously I remember the report we just heard. Yeah. Very, very well. It's probably involved. It's got rocket fuel.

It has, uh, oxygen. Oh yeah. But not much. Yeah, there wasn't much available. Not much oxygen. Just a little bit, just enough. Oh, you've just set up a small oxygen bar. But instead of like plugging in, it's one quick shot.

Yeah, you can have a shot of oxygen and then keep partying. Yeah. And there's also snacks. That's fantastic. All right, are you ready, Dave, to welcome in some... I mean, they had limited snacks. That's probably good. I know, but I love how shit I've gotten at this.

And Matt, every time just goes, wow. And then just moves on. I didn't hear what you said. That's amazing. Anyway, so every time, it's so sweet. All right. So, Dave, you're ready? Here we go.

Let's welcome these people. They've been waiting three years. They've been in line for three years, I presume. What was I doing last week on an episode? I think I was just yelling at them. You were also putting your hand on my butt at some stage to give me support. No, but I was yelling something like, anyway, it doesn't matter. Oh, yes.

What was that? I don't know. It's if it comes to you. Yeah. As we welcome in from Henderson in Nevada in the United States, it's Kelly Parish. Going to the parish and we're going to get. Kelly. From Oldham.

We did not rehearse that. That's pretty good. Honestly, that was pretty good. You knew I was going to say Kelly. Thank you so much. From Oldham in England, it's Paul Mellor. Paul Mellor. Paul Mellor.

Yes, because he's the party. Woo! Great science supporter over there in Oldham Town. That's awesome. Dave, can you have a look at this next city? What's that say? Volcio in Sweden? Volsio, from Volsio,

Sweden it's Kea Woffinge and I said Kea yeah I had no idea how you're going to pronounce that once I really had to wait till the pronunciation that's great hopefully we had a good crack there yeah sorry someone mentioned in the and the Facebook group they're like oh as they just said it's always interesting to see how Matt pronounces some European places and names I'd also love to welcome in from San Bernardino in California and American Misses. San Benadino. San. Now whatever.

Bernardino. It's Daniel B. Sawyer. More like Daniel B. Awesome. Yeah. Let's party. Could you be any more Sawyer? Fuck yes.

From Bidale in Askew in Great Britain. It's Jamie. This night was going to go Askew until you, Jamie walked in. And finally from Tempe, Arizona in the United States, it's Adrian Hernandez-Arista. Tempe. Going to the Tempe, and we're going to get Adrian Hernandez-Arista. Thank you and welcome into the club, Adrian, Jamie, Daniel, Kaya, Paul, Kelly, Amanda, and no, Amanda was last week. But Amanda's still here.

Hey, thanks for remaining in the club, Amanda. Just run into Amanda at the bar, how are I? Oh, Amanda, you look great. Still mulling it over. Amanda Mullins. Still got it. All right. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode.

Anything we need to tell people before we go, Jess? That you can suggest a topic at do go onpod.com, or there's a link in the show notes. You can find live shows and merch and all sorts of wonderful things over at dogoonpod.com. You can find us on socials do go on pod across everything. And I think we're dogo on pod cast on TikTok, but we're prolific on there. So definitely rush to follow. And we love you. And Dave Boot at home.

Hey, we'll be back next week with another blockbuster special. But until then, also, thank you so much. And goodbye. Later. Bye. See, we are, Mr. Man. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are. And we can come and tell you when we're coming there.

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