Do Go On - 372 - The Pont-Saint-Esprit mass poisoning

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

In 1951, hundreds of residents of the small French town of Pont-Saint-Esprit were struck down by a mystery illness that caused mass hallucinations. People thought they were being chased by tigers, others grabbed weapons and chased each other, one man jumped into a river because he thought his belly was being eaten by snakes. What had caused this mass event? Was it as something as innocent as bad food, or was there something much more sinister afoot?This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 05:28 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report). Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/  Submit a topic idea directly to the hat here Check out our new merch!  Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas Do Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:BBCMental Floss NCBI GuardianNY Times Smithsonian Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club, April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at dogo1pod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right. I'm doing shows with Saren Jayamana, who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February, Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattstuartcomedy.com.

You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details.

We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. hello and welcome to another episode of do go on my name is dave ornike and as always i'm here with jess perkins and matt

stewart david hello jess hello dave hello how good is it to be alive it's one of the best things to be alive i love december it's the most festive time of year outside of block it's a real like sort of slow curve yeah out of block yeah yeah ease yourself out of block yeah we got the christmas season then the new year's season uh and then you know back to back to bullshit nine months of horrible months depression but blocks the beauty of block now being two months long means we're only ever 10 months away from a block that's right at the most begins januarydown begins January 1st. So, so soon. But this is the furthest time between blocks right now. Yes. First week out of block.

That's true. But what a great year we've had. What a great year. The top nine this year. My goodness. All bangers. And Dave, we got you to do this week's episode because we were like, we can't have a hard landing. We can't crash back

down to earth we need to go out of block with a bang and have you done that before you get into it jess you want to explain what the show is yeah well if you're just joining us you've joined us at the end of our most blocktacular time of year um but there's no time to explain what that means um go back to the last nine episodes and we'll answer it. They're probably better than this one. No, they're no way. No. No.

This is classic. This is basically the tenth Beatle of this day. Well, what this show is is each week one of the three of us researches a topic usually suggested by a listener. We go away. We write up a little report about it. We bring it to the other two who listen respectfully, politely, and never go on inane, bullshitty riffs.

Ever. We never mock each other, and no fun is had. No. And we always- We certainly don't ever be ironic. No, no, no. Or interrupt. We say what we mean.

And we usually start with a question. Dave, do you have a question? My question is three of my topics this year, 2022, have been based in which European country? I've had a little obsession with this place. Ooh, can you say it again? Three of my topics this year have been based in which European country? I was going to say Italy, but not Italy.

Where was Mount Vesuvius again? That was Italy. Okay. I know you're always obsessed with Iceland. We haven't mentioned it enough this year, but big shout out. What have you done this year? Yeah, nothing. What have you done?

Not just with your year, but with your life. What about en Francais? Oui, oui, senor. Is it Francais? It's France. Oh. France. France is the answer.

Why stop there? Let's go for four. Okay, great You do love France God, you love France You love French culture Been there twice this year Love it

France It's funny in the The East Coast accent, isn't it? I love France France I love the way they dance South Australia France

Ah You know That's the difference I see, France France, that's classier France Western Australia say France I believe France

Oh France Yeah Oh we're going to France in the Summertime Whatever Yes we might pop over to France For a dance Yeah have a dance in France

If we have the chance Maybe we'll hit up the slopes You know Just have a good time Maybe ride a goat We'll see if there's any goats around. We might have a little ride on a goat. I think he's lost the riff now.

When he hit slope, he lost it for me. Yeah, but I thought maybe he could recover it and he couldn't. And that's on me thinking he could. He got distracted by it. I think I was doing a different riff and you've come in doing a rhyming riff. I was just doing a posh south australian riff posh people ride goats yes on slopes slopes love hitting the slopes uh the other three topics drone of arc the concord and the le monde disaster right but i'm going for a fourth topic and i don't

want to give away the topic title just yet, but this one was suggested by one person, and that is a very French person. Okay. JJ Sweeney from Cardiff in Wales. Thank you so much. JJ. JJ Sweeney. Cardiff, the Frenchest part of Wales. The Paris.

Yeah, they call it Little Paris. I call it Big Paris. I call it Little Cardiff. Yeah, that's better. That makes more sense, actually. This one was voted for by our Patreon supporters. Patreon. Patreon.

And to them we say merci beaucoup for your input. You aren't very good at French. Not like me. Beaucoup. Merci beaucoup. Merci beaucoup. Oh, God. Oui, oui.

Merci beaucoup. French or. Oh, God. Oui, oui. Merci beaucoup. French. French-speaking listeners. Going to hate this episode, aren't they? Sorry, but with apologies. But Dave means it with love. What do you mean it with? Hate.

Scorn. Fuck them. These French fucks. No, I love them. Good on them. Got some great French listeners. And to them, I say, bonjourno. Good on them. Got some great French listeners. And to them I say, bonjourno. Wow.

Wow. Thankfully, they all speak many languages, so I'll get that. I'll get that one. Let me paint a scene. It's August 1951. Paint it like a famous French artist, Monet. Well done. Oh, did he?

Well done, yeah. I was wondering, is he going to go for this? Is he going to go for this? Oh, that's sick. I'm done for the day. I was wondering, is he going to go for this? Is he going to go for this? Oh, that's sick. I'm done for the day. I was going to say paint me like one of your French girls. What would that make? What's that got to do with anything?

It's August. It's 1951. Over in the US, the first baseball game televised in colour has just been broadcast. People watching glorious full spectrum as the Boston Braves beat Brooklyn Dodgers 8-1. In Australian baseball news, New South Wales have just won their sixth Claxton Shield. Also this month, future MLB All-Star John Stearns was born. What can I say? It was a big month for baseball.

Stansy, that year. Bloody hell. Also, Darryl Summers was born this month. Wow. Is this report about baseball? Is it about Daryl Summers? But over in the town of Ponce-en-Esprit in southern France, they weren't worried about baseball or Mr. Daryl Summers.

Well, I mean, that's not a way to live. What a weird red herring that is. On the 16th of August, 1951, postman Leon Amunier was doing his normal rounds on his bicycle when suddenly he became overwhelmed first by nausea and then wild hallucinations. He was overwhelmed and fell off his bike in terror. He later recalled, it was terrible. I had the sensation of shrinking and shrinking and the fire and the serpents coiling around my arms.

Holy moly. He was taken to hospital in nearby Avignon, by which point he had become so delirious that he was put in a straight jacket. I actually kind of, maybe, I don't know if this is a controversial take. I wouldn't mind trying a straight jacket. Okay. I think it would be kind of comforting, a bit like a swaddle for a baby. You know what I mean? Like, just get me all wrapped up and give myself a little cuddle.

Do you think maybe that, I think that could be something, you know, we do. Maybe we start a business, sort of a retreat. Adult swaddles? Yeah. Well, a straight jacket retreat, right? You get out of the retreat. We just straight jacket you up and put you in a dark room. And you pay thousands of dollars for it.

You do, Jess. Like pitch black or like dimly lit as in like mood lighting? What's better? I would like some mood lighting. Wow. We're trying to cut costs. Yeah, we can't afford lighting. Okay, I don't want to go to this retreat.

All right, no, we'll dim the lights. Yeah, I just want like, just like a calming room. We just want to, whatever the lowest thing you'll accept is, we'll do that. Yeah, there was a thing last month where there was a company that was, hit the news because they were offering to bury you alive. Nope. For $90,000. Absolutely not, no.

And the whole point of it was you come out of there being thankful to be alive oh wow but you know you're coming out of there yes i feel like you could pay someone less than that that's what i thought too that's a that's steep but if people are willing to pay that i reckon we could probably charge about nine grand for the straight jacket idea yeah i reckon i could just go to like a day spa and get a massage or something and lie in a dark room. Would you come out of that feeling grateful? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, I'd have to go there.

It's a dimly lit room and there's nice music and it smells nice. Jess, why have you turned on this? This was your idea. I just said I wouldn't mind a straight jacket. Just wrap yourself up in a blanket or put a dressing gown on backwards. Oh, yes. Get your partner to tie it behind your back. Oh, here we go.

Oh, cozy. Feels nice and cozy. Can I go home? Yeah. I've got to try something else. Oh, yes! Get your partner to tie it behind your back. Oh, here we go. Oh, cosy. Feels nice and cosy. Can I go home? Yeah. I've got to try something out. I did not bring my dressing gown in. My robe.

So this postie, Leon, he's been put in a straitjacket, and he wasn't the only one in the room experiencing hallucinations, for he shared a room with three teenagers who had been chained to their beds to keep them under control and stop them from hurting each other. Leon recalled, Some of my friends tried to get out of the window. They were thrashing wildly, screaming, and the sound of the metal beds and the jumping up and down, the noise was terrible. The strangest thing was, as time went by, this wasn't an isolated incident in the town. What the heck was happening at Ponce Saint-Esprit?

Let's find out. Whoa. Wow. P Pont Saint-Esprit? Let's find out. Whoa. Wow. Pont Saint-Esprit? Pont Saint-Esprit? Yeah. Is that what you said? Pont.

Pont. Saint. Saint. Esprit. Esprit. Spelled Pont Saint Esprit. And what does Pont mean? Bridge.

And what does Saint mean? Saint. And what does Esprit mean? Esprit. Great brand. Spirit. Yeah. What mean? Esprit. Great brand. Spirit. Yeah. What a great brand.

Esprit, loved it. Had a matching Esprit tracksuit as a kid. Really? Loved it. I was more of a Fiorucci type child. What are you talking about? I don't know that one. Do you remember that name?

No. I was more of a sweat hog. Sweat hog. Nothing but the best. Sweat hog. Nothing but the best. Sweat hog. There was a seconds outlet near where I grew up. Wow, so you didn't even get first sweat hog. What?

Last season's sweat hog. Oh, la-di-da. You got non-damaged sweat hog. Pre-sweated sweat hog. Oh, wow. Not second hand Just the stuff That was you know

Like the There were Printing mistakes And stuff on them Spelling errors They said Sweet hog Sweet hog

I was getting Around as a boy Sweet hog People kept telling you Hey sweet hog Hey sweet hog Oh thank you Thank you

This is strange But thank you so much Let's rewind a little And I can paint you A picture this time Not about baseball Hey, sweetheart. Hey, sweetheart. Oh, thank you. Thank you. This is strange, but thank you so much. Let's rewind a little, and I can paint you a picture this time, not about baseball, but this time about Ponce and Esprit itself. Is there any reason you did those baseball things? I just Googled what happened in 1951, and only baseball things came up, and Daryl Summers.

And I was like, this would be a bit of fun to reference baseball. I couldn't believe there was an Australian baseball league back then. So I looked up, there's like a list of Australian events and then you click sporting events. I'm like, surely something happened. And the only thing that happened in the month was New South Wales won the Claxton Shield, which I've never heard of. Claxton is so great. I've never even heard of.

There you go. So found in southern France, Ponce-Saint-Esprit is situated on the River Rhône. And again, apologies to French people. And is the site of a historical crossing, hence its name. Pont meaning bridge. A saint crossed this bridge. The town is about 120 kilometres north of Marseille on the Mediterranean.

It's so funny when a name like that sounds so cool and fancy. Ooh, Pont Saint- pont esprit or whatever nailed it but and but it's like saint cross that bridge it's just like it's so childish yeah it's just like uh red tree and stuff like that oh it sounds so fancy i don't know how to say red tree dave say red tree in french but i bet you it sounds fancy. Rouge. Tree. Albert. I went to visit Rouge Albert. Ooh, that sounds fancy. Wonder what that means.

Red tree. Because there was a red tree there once, now the town's named Red Tree. Red Tree's not there anymore. The tree's gone, but the town remains. Poque de Seux. Sweathog. Oh my god. Poque de Seux, Sweathog. Oh, my God.

Poque de Seux. Oh, I didn't realize you were wearing designer brands. So, this is Ponce de Nespres. It's quite a small place. And if you're wondering if any celebs have ever lived there. I am. Well, let me tell you. According to a French celebrity website I found called wikipedia.org, I believe it's pronounced.

It means something in French, I assume. Yes, we're talking about feet. Pont-Saint-Esprit is famous as the town of origin of Michael Bouvier, a cabinetmaker who was the ancestor of John Vernau Bouvier III, who's the father of Jacqueline Kennedy. Holy moly. So, the First Lady's dad was related to a guy who made furniture there. This is the big time.

Holy shit. Holy crap. Jesus. I just want you to know that this is a pretty big deal. This goes all the way to the top. This is a big deal. Yeah. But it's a pretty small place.

Only about 4,000 people resided there in the early 1950s. Okay. In 1951, they were put on the map by an incident that the town is still most famously associated with. I think they've tried to rebrand a few times. Look at these big red trees. Yeah. Whoa, this cabinet maker lived here.

Yeah. I mean, they're named after a saint crossing a bridge. I know. How big of an event could this be to usurp that? Well, on August 15th, 1951, dozens of townsfolk became ill. Oh, yeah, you've already told us what happened. The postman thing. Yeah, the postman.

I've forgotten about him. He's one of many. Whoa. At first, the people complained of nausea and stomach pain, weak blood pressure and faint pulses, cold sweats and low temperatures. Sort of, you know, maybe it's a gastro, maybe it's flu, what's going on? Sounds like a whole town of sweat hogs here. Well, they reported terrible insomnia,

and apparently one of the symptoms was they smelled terrible. Someone described the odour emanating from them as like that of a dead mouse. Sweat hog. Very specific. Dead mouse. That is so specific. a dead mouse. Sweathog. Very specific. Dead mouse. That is so specific. What would make you stink? Yeah.

Just sweating it out. Like a dead mouse. Like that's a small thing. If you think awful things to smell would be like a dead cat or a dead dog. Minimum size. Some big. Yeah, you're right. Like just a dead mouse, you're like maybe getting faint whiffs of that in the roof.

Yeah. Oh, it's gone. Maybe that's why they're talking about it because if a mouse dies in your walls, it could be there for a long time when you uncover it. It's awful, maybe. Maybe that had been happening a lot in this town. Yeah. Maybe.

I'm extrapolating a little bit. The offices of the town's two local doctors began to fill, and over the hours that passed, the symptoms of the sick became worse and worse. The sick grew to the hundreds, and for most, these already horrific ailments were the end of it, but for others, it was only just beginning. Because then came the most terrifying symptom, the hallucinations. Right. One of the town's two doctors would name the night the Apocalyptic Night, as dozens of people experienced nightmarish hallucinations, convulsions,

and swollen limbs that felt as if they were burning for the people. Wow. And I thought the most fascinating one, the poster he had, felt like he was shrinking. Shrinking, yeah. Isn't that interesting? Were they actually shrinking? No. Okay.

But everything else was growing, so it felt like. The red tree was getting bigger and bigger. Oh, everything's enlarging. Relax, you're staying the same size. Everything's okay. Mayor Albert Hubbard described the events to the press. He said, I have seen healthy men and women suddenly become terrorized, ripping their bedsheets, hiding themselves beneath their blankets

to escape hallucinations. Ripping their bed sheets why is the mayor in their bedroom yeah why do you know that what a weird combo of things to do rip your bed sheets and then hide under the blanket yeah it's like we just ripped it yeah we ripped the sheet blankets are fine yeah you don't want to shit it's just it's harder to rip otherwise i bet they would have ripped it and then been like, oh, now I can't hide under it. I know where to hide. And now I'm suddenly cold.

Well, you shouldn't have ripped your blanket. Tell you what. One of the symptoms is being a little irrational, I think. Things went absolutely wild in the town. These are some of the reports of the hallucinations over the days that followed. So, for days, people started experiencing these kinds of things. Wow. A little girl screamed as she was chased by man-eating tigers that's what she saw okay a woman sobbed

about how her children had been ground into sausages oh my god that one's a bit funny okay oh no there's sausages i'm imagining cartoon sausages i think that's why the specificity oh yeah they're still they're still living in the sausages. Yeah, they're just like, come on, mother. I'm off to school. I'm a pork and fennel. Yeah. Mom, I'm a pork and fennel.

That's the worst. She starts tearing her hair out. A large man fended off terrific beasts by smashing his own furniture. Good. A husband and wife ran around chasing each other with kitchen knives. That one, that's less. That, no. I thought I was going chasing each other with kitchen knives. That one, that's less... That, no. I thought I was going to get you with that one.

No, because that could end quite badly, couldn't it? Depends on what kind of kitchen knives. A butter knife? A butter knife, yeah. Or just like a normal table knife. Is that what you call a normal knife? Yeah, a table knife. I love how putting table at the front of something makes it just the normal one.

Why not just normal? Normal knife, normal spoon. Yeah. Tablespoon. Tablespoon. Is that a phrase? Yeah. There's a tablespoon, teaspoon.

It's fucked me up so much. I don't think there's table knife. What's tablespoon? Tablespoon's just the big spoon. That's a tablespoon. Okay. The one in the middle of like for serving a salad or something. No, that's a salad spoon.

Of course, tablespoon. Oh, my God. Am I hallucinating? Tablespoon. Tablespoon. Teaspoon. You're right. That's just a unit of measurement.

Isn't that weird? But for some reason, I was putting a pause in between table. Anyway, that threw me off. This is like the sugar bowl all over again. I tried to make a cake or something. I can't remember what it was. Maybe pancakes or something. Yeah.

And yeah, I'm like, wait, what's a tablespoon? What's a teaspoon? But it was obvious, like, I had to Google it. But it was like, yeah, the teaspoon's a little one you'd have for tea. But I also, because they shorten it to TPS and TBS. And I'm like, hang on a second. I've really got to think about this. What's going on here?

Tablespoon. Tablespoon. It just seems stupid. Tablespoon. Tablespoon. It just seems stupid. Unless the spoon has legs that pop out and it can form a table, then... Yeah, don't call yourself a tablespoon. Don't call yourself a tablespoon.

Yeah, it's like a splayed is a combination. Yeah. I just want to just quickly mention as well that for the many people who are inevitably going to, I'm actually Matt and Dave here, can you leave me out of that tweet? What's, I'm actually, Matt and Dave here. Can you leave me out of that tweet? What's the I'm actually? There'll be a reason why it's called a tablespoon and a teaspoon. Oh, wow.

Wow, okay. Yeah. Yeah, it's just because it's on the table. Yeah. And it's on the tea. Perfect. Do you guys call dinner tea? I did growing up.

Yeah. Yeah, I also did growing up, but never anymore. Not anymore. Yeah, now it's dinner. Having tea. I think I still call it tea. Tea time. Yeah.

I wonder why that is. I don't know. It doesn't matter. Yeah, we did that growing up, but now I just call it dinner. What's for tea? What's for tea? What's for dinner? Will we be home for tea?

Yeah, I'll be home after tea. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Tea. But I also used to eat at like six o'clock. What was I thinking? You did grow up with your nana and pop. That's right.

And then you went and worked at a job for a long time where you didn't get home until like 8 o'clock. 8 o'clock, that's right. Now I eat dinner at 9, 9.30 now. Yeah. I'll have dinner sometimes. I find myself eating dinner at midnight. I'm like, well, I've stuffed today.

I've made a huge mistake. What have I done? How do I find myself eating dinner at midnight. I'm like, well, I've stuffed today. I've made a huge mistake. What have I done? How did I get to this? All right. More hallucinations. A worker called Gabriel Valadaire tried to drown himself because his belly was being eaten by snakes. Whoa.

He said, I am dead and my head is made of copper and I have snakes in my stomach and they are burning me. That's how he described the feeling. Whoa. That's full on. He repeatedly screamed before attempting to throw himself in the river. Fortunately, he did not drown. A 60-year-old grandmother threw herself against the wall

and broke three of her own ribs. A man saw his heart escaping through his feet and beseeched a doctor to put it back in place. Someone's put LSD in the water or something. Near the Rhone River, a man convinced that he was a circus tightrope walker attempted to balance his way across the cables of a suspension bridge. How wild is that?

That's crazy. And succeeded? No news on that. No news on that. Let's say he succeeded. Yeah. Well, he didn't die, so. Yeah, I believe.

So he succeeded. Like if he hadn't succeeded, then he'd be dead. So if he's not dead, he succeeded. He succeeded, yep. Ipso facto. The people having these violent hallucinations had to be tied to beds or put in straitjackets for their own protection because they were, you know, hurting themselves,

including our postie Leona mentioned earlier. Sadly, the attempts to restrain the people often added to the patient's agitation. Yeah. Because they're already in a highly panicked state and now they can't move and they're like you know absolutely hallucinating that's all pretty awful stuff but i am pleased to say some started hallucinating in a more positive way okay according to the new york times some heard heavenly choruses saw brilliant colors the world looked beautiful to them oh that's great that's nice mental floss

notes it was an especially productive experience for the head of the local farmers co-op who began writing hundreds upon hundreds of pages of luminous poetry wow it's a real inspo hundreds of pages i wouldn't mind that yeah that kind of reaction yeah i'd love some some productivity imagine you write so much poetry people like mate i, mate, I'm going to have to stop you there. I'm going to have to chain you to a bed. Yeah, it's too much poetry. This is too much. This is dog shit. We could have stopped this.

But he said luminous or Mental Floss said luminous. Luminous poetry. That seems positive. But not everyone. Or was it luminous because it was so bad you'd light it on fire, creating some light? Lumination. Is that what luminous means?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, big time. But not everyone that were having bad hallucinations could be helped in time, and for most it was pretty horrific. Again, according to Mental Floss, it has a long list of hallucinations people had. One man leapt from a window, broke two legs, stood up,

and then continued running. Oh! So very injured. That's what he sounded like as he ran. Oh, freaking. Oh. Oh. Kept running.

Ah. Imagine bones sticking out pretty soon, right? Whoa. Yikes. Oh, that live commentary. Live. Whoa. Yikes. Somebody live commentary Live Whoa yikes Somebody stop this guy It was even reported that man believed himself to be an aeroplane

And died by jumping from a second story window Believed himself to be an aeroplane Imagine that That would be your dream Dave To believe that I'm an aeroplane Not to be one To be the Concorde Yeah oh wow You'd have to soar higher than two stories Your arms become wings Dave. Wow, to believe that I'm an aeroplane. Not to be one. To be the Concorde. Oh, wow.

You'd have to soar higher than two stories. Your arms become wings. Your head, a cockpit. Oh, wow. My face becomes a droop snoot. Yeah. It lowers for landing. Droop snoot. My droop snoot. Surely we did that.

We did. Come on. I think we did. Wow. Finally. That's why I think we did. Wow. Finally. That's why I was like, I'm going to keep doing French topics until one of us nails it. We've done it. With Troop Snootin', baby. Steps Club 7. Steps Club.

Ain't nobody like a Steps Club party. So, there's various reports i will say there's conflicting numbers but most people say over the next few days five people including an otherwise healthy 25 year old man died a lot of a few old elderly people died from this incident five in total is usually the number that people say right so it's horrific something terrible has happened people immediately began searching for answers what had caused the outbreak of sickness and nightmarish hallucinations well many early theories were put forward the new york times notes that people at the time were asking was the fact that the arm of a statue of the virgin had been torn off during a storm the previous may. Was that an omen of divine retribution? No.

I don't think so. Some people are saying that. So this happened in August, and in May, several months earlier, a storm had damaged a statue several months earlier. Yeah. And everyone, today's the day. It got around to it, you know? Yeah.

So a storm damaged it. Yeah, not the people. Which is divine. Yeah. Surely. So why punish the know? So a storm damaged it. Yeah, not the people. Which is divine. Yeah. Surely. So why punish the people? Surely you'd punish yourself. I hope they're hallucinating upstairs as well.

Well, this is... That's probably all they're doing up there, you know what I mean? Sitting around. You've got nothing but time. Yeah. What else would you do? And yet you wait until August. Yeah.

True. Well, yeah, they probably did it to themselves first. Yeah, okay. It took a while to recover. I'm going to say it's probably not that one. Well, that's actually my number one theory. True. Well, yeah, they probably did it to themselves first. Yeah, okay. It took a while to recover. I'm going to say it's probably not that one. Well, that's actually my number one theory. Okay, well, you and I are different people, so. Okay.

Well, here's another 20 paragraphs about the Virgin Mary. They're not true. Your favorite Mary, because you are a virgin. Yes. Yeah, solidarity, sister. Got him. Two local doctors investigated the epidemiology of the disease and fairly quickly the culprit was something the French are still famous for.

Wine. Bread. Bread, cheese. Okay, they've got a few things. Yeah, because you would sort of be going, okay, well, it's affected all of these people. What's something that they could have all come in contact with? So you would be going like something in water.

Air. Yeah. Is it some sort of gas leak? The Virgin Mary obviously lost her hand three months ago. So let's look into that quite rigorously. We've all got hands. Bread. Something with the yeast.

Yeah. So because, you know, there's a town of 4,400 people have gone down with sickness Yeah Do you think this could be some sort of yeast infection? Yeah Jeez Wow On the 19th of August, so this is a few days later, they came to the conclusion that bread was to blame

All patients interrogated had purchased their bread from Roche-Briand's bakery Everyone had purchased their bread from Wacky Will's Hallucinatory Bakery. Come down and try the mystery bread. I found it on a truck. Whoa, have a go. Have a go. I've had some and I feel a bit weird. I have to say, though, having had 400 customers, it's pretty good.

Yeah. That's pretty good, Rush. That's a great deal. I mean, even like, you know, let's say it's not 400. It might be people within the same family. That's still, you know, you'd feel pretty good. 100 customers in a day. That's a great day for a bakery.

That's bloody great. For a bakery? Yeah. Fantastic. You're doing really well. In a town of what, 5,000? 4,000 people. 4,000 people?

Yeah. Like those odds. Yeah, you're doing great. So 10% of the town have been to your bakery. Fantastic. I'll take that. Though, famous for their Yeah. Like those odds. Yeah, you're doing great. So 10% of the town have been to your bakery. Fantastic. I'll take that. Though, famous for their bread. They love bread.

They love bread. So you've got to get bread somewhere. Maybe there's 10 bakeries that have got an even split. I don't know. That'd be nice. They love a French stick over there, don't they? They love a French stick. I reckon that's their favorite kind of bread is a French stick.

Yeah, that's all they eat, French sticks. They love a French stick. A little bit of French onion dip. Oh, yeah, I love French onion dip. Or as they call it, French onion dip. They probably don't have that. The summer of 1951 was unusually wet, and that year's rye crop was expected to fall short.

Earlier in the month, the baker Roche-Briard had received a supply of strangely grey flour. It seemed a bit off, but at the time, the government had control over the grain supply chain. It seemed a bit off, but oh well. Oh, well. Well, this is the reason-

Grey doesn't- I don't know enough about flour, but grey sounds like a bad colour for most foods. It's a bit off, isn't it? At the time, the system did not allow the bakers to choose which millers they would work with, even if they discovered flaws in the flour. Low-quality flour would often be sent from faraway regions, and when it arrived, if the baker wanted to complain about the quality of flour,

they'd have to shut up shop for multiple days until a union chemist could come by and test it. Understandably, when this is your livelihood, people didn't want to do this. So he's like, all right, I guess I'll use this crappy flour. This is what I've been given. And this is only a few years after World War II, so there's still a pretty poor lot of austerity going on. So he's like, all right, if I complain about this flour,

I don't get paid this week, so I'm going to bake. The bread was an early theory, and local bakers were briefly shut down as the media stirred up a bit of hysteria. The Paris Press wrote at the time, The baker whom we visit every day, the grocer we go to regularly, are they not, after all, maniacs or potential killers of whom we must be aware?

Are they not, after all, maniacs? Makes you think. Yeah, that's a very level-headed response to this. A few people have gotten sick from this baker, so is everyone trying to kill you? That feels like a current affair ad or something. It's also more like if they were trying to kill you, I reckon they would have used poison.

Yeah. Not a hallucinogenic. Not grey flour. So the local baker responsible was declared to be Roche Briard, who had opened the flour and saw it was grey, looked a bit wrong, but he had no other means of making that morning's baguettes and proceeded to bake and sell his wares as usual. Is that how it's pronounced?

Baguette but is it is to the french because i know you've been to france a lot does the french say baguettes i do absolutely not i just thought i'm like this another one of those words i say matt looked at me so concerned he was going crazy because neither i hadn't said anything either and he looked at me like what what's happening i've been making a fool of myself i thought my perfect french accent was getting everything right i get that's why i stay safe and call them french sticks one french stick mate yeah sorry i've uh emphasised the first syllable there a little too much. But anyway, he's baked his bread. He's baked his usual.

So that's what's happened. What kind of bread? Baguette. Vageguette. Vageguette. On the 23rd of August, so this is all happening within about a week, a judge of inquiry opened a formal investigation and tasked commissaire george

saggo with finding the cause of the mass poisoning event the tainted bread made by briand was only made with four ingredients flour yeast water and salt all of the ingredients but the flour could be easily discounted as the source of the illness so like it's not the water because everyone's been drinking the water it's not the yeast or the salt. They've discounted those. The flour, it must be the flour. That's what they've decided. The main theory was that the bread had resulted in ergot poisoning

or ergotism in those that ingested it. Oh, they got ergot. They got the ergot. Emmy. What are the other ones? Oscar, Tony. But we've got to get an R in there as well. Oh. Radzi. Emmy what are the other ones Oscar Tony but we've got to get an R in there as well Razzie

Razzie how to get an Oscar and a Razzie in the same year I wonder if there's anyone who's got the Razzie plus the EGOT oh that'd be amazing I reckon there'd be yeah there'd be definitely some have done got positive and negative ones

I don't think the full EG yeah i think when hallie hallie berry won so she'd already won an oscar by the time she won a razzie i think she turned up at the ceremony with her oscar statue that's pretty to accept it very funny hallie very funny now while matt does a bit of a google i'll tell you what ergotism is please ergotism is a form of poisoning from ingesting grains typically rye that have been infected by and here we go a form of poisoning from ingesting grains typically rye that have been infected by and here we go

a bit of science talk here I'm going to attempt this the asser ass the assomis fuck it

it's a it's a fungus it's a fungus a fungus called claviceps purpure okay I really I was I can't even pronounce baguette how am I going to fucking say this word A fungus called Claviceps purpurei. Okay.

I can't even pronounce baguette. How am I going to fucking say this word? Yeah, you can't say it. Hey, Dav, I've got good news. Two EGOT winners are also Razzie winners. They're Oragots. Who are they? Composer Alan Menken recently won a Daytime Emmy Award for Best Original Song in a Children's, Young Adult,

or Animated Program, blah, blah, blah. Great. Which officially made him a member of the elite group of people who've scored an EGOT. song in a children's young adult or animated program blah blah blah great uh which officially made him a member of the elite group of people who've scored an egot those oh no uh however menken joined an even more exclusive club at the same time individuals with a regot those who have won a golden raspberry award aka Razzie, as well as the standard EGOT. It explains what a Razzie is. Oh, my God.

So Mencken. How does Mencken win? What did they say? Worst song? A Razzie for worst song? That seems brutal. Mencken received his Razzie for the song High Times, Hard Times from the musical Newsies in 1993.

The same year he won an Oscar for Best Original Song for A Whole New World from Aladdin. Wow, big year. This feat made him the first person in history to score a Razzie and an Oscar in the same year. Liza Minnelli was the other one. She got a Razzie in 1988 for Arthur II, On the Rocks, and Rent-A-Cop. She won her Emmy in 1973.

I didn't know they did an Arthur 2. Arthur 2, On the Rocks. Oh, that's bad. Arthur 2, Back in the Habit, would have been way better. Way better. I think On the Rocks is my new sequel thing. On the Rocks? Okay.

Does that beat Secret of the Ooze? Yes. No, Secret of the Ooze is pretty good. I think it beats my standard, which is Judgment Day. Judgment Day is pretty good. The Arthur 2 Judgment Day is pretty funny. That's perfect. On the rocks.

So they've said ergot, but we're going with ergot. Ergot, yes. Yes. Yes. So you get ergotism from ingesting grains that have been infected by this fungus according to the smithsonian ergot is a parasitic fungus that thrives on rye under certain climate conditions right cold winters followed by an especially rainy growing season which is what they had and uh it and manifests itself as oversized violet grains protruding from the head of the plant. Lysergic acid, the active component in the fungus, was used to create LSD.

Oh. So it has a sort of relation to LSD. Which we learned a bit about, Dave, on a podcast recently. That's right. We were guests on the Sci Guys podcast, which is a lot of fun. And we're going to talk more about LSD and what we talked about on that episode in just a few moments. Epidemics of ergotism were identified throughout history.

Recorded as early as 857, so quite a long time ago, a great plague of swollen blisters consumed the people by a loathsome rot so that their limbs were loosened and fell off before death. Oh, is that what happened to the statue of Virgin Mary? Maybe, yes. Ergotism. Because apparently it gives you these hallucinations, but it can also, if you have a terrible dose of it,

cause blood vessels to constrict and you get gangrene in your extremities and then bits of, you know. Your body falls off. Fall off your legs, your toes, then your foot, that kind of stuff, if you don't treat the gangrene. So it's really awful stuff. Awful. In the Middle Ages, the gangrenous poisoning was known as Holy Fire

or St. Anthony's Fire, named after monks of the Order of St. Anthony who were particularly successful at treating the ailment. So, yeah, Holy Fire or St. Anthony's Fire is a badass name. It also possibly links back to a couple of our previous topics, one being the Salem Witch Trials. Some historians have even suggested that the erratic behaviour in several young Puritan girls was brought on by ergot poisoning, although this is heavily debated.

Yeah, right. Some people say that's a theory, so why they were acting that way. Some people say it's a theory. Bloody hell. Can acting that way. Some people say it's a theory. Bloody hell. Can you believe that? I'm closing the book on it. That's enough for me. The other previous report topic is the dancing plague of 1518,

which some argue, again, was brought on by food poisoning caused by the toxic and psychoactive chemical products. But this wasn't hundreds of years ago. This was 1951 that this happened in. Yeah, the same year that that team won the Claxton Cup. Yeah, the same year Daryl Summers was born. Holy shit. The world changed that day.

For better or worse, I don't know. Only time will tell. The jury's still out. Several investigations were conducted by law enforcement and medical experts to trace the source of the poisonous bread, but none of them were conclusive. One of them posited that the sacks of flour had been transported unhygienically in polluted train cars.

Another inquiry determined that fuel leaks from nearby factories contaminated the local water supply. But if this was true, people wondered why the poisoning wasn't more widespread. It was just these people at the bakery, not everyone drinks the water. So one of the investigations found that the contamination had been caused by the presence of mercury and pesticides used in the rye fields or caused by panogen, a cleaning agent used in wheat containers.

So there's rival theories, including American-born historian Stephen L. Kaplan, who was a man who literally wrote the book on the subject. His 1,100-page book called Cursed Bread, Returning to the Forgotten Years in France, 1945 to 1958, came out in 2008. 1,100 pages. Cursed Bread. Cursed Bread.

Nobody thought to workshop that title a little bit. I love it. So if you've got a problem with it. Take it up with Kaplan. No, I was on the committee. I'm being a bit defensive here, but I was one of the people who okayed the title. Cursed Bread. Cursed Bread.

The more you say it, the more it's going on. Are you wanting to be taken seriously, though, or is it a bit funny? Is it a funny book? It's a funny book, Bob. Oh, then they're great. I love it. It's a real page turner. I love it.

Cursed bread. A hilarious romp through the history of French bread making system. Over a specific 11-year period. Such a strange amount of time to be talking bread. I reckon once I was getting up to the 11,000 pages, I'd be like, I might just shrink this down to maybe two or three years. Yeah, yeah, this is a bit much. I'd be like, what am I doing?

Kaplan, get an editor. So Kaplan does not believe that ergotism was the cause of the hallucinations in the town. According to him, ergot contamination would not have affected only one sack of grain in a single bakery, but would have been more widespread across the area, across France in general. It's not just one crop becomes one bag. It's multiple bags. That's a good point.

I'm with him. What's his name? Kaplan. I'm on board with Kaplan here. Whatever he says next, I agree with. The names of the other bakers disappeared from the list of suspects, but Roche Briand was arrested and his

bakery shut down. What? But by the time the police investigation had named his bakery as a place of interest, it was too late for any conclusive testing as he had since either used or thrown away his flower. Not going to keep it forever. So no test could be carried out to conclusively say his bread was the source of the outbreak.

Did he have any more bread? Test the bread. Had he eaten the bread? Yeah, that day's bread. You know, by the time they'd worked it out, he'd moved on to the next day's bread, the next flower. So I don't think it's like suspicious like him destroying evidence. I think he literally kept running his business and by the police worked out it could be him they're like oh the cops rock up and he's flushing baguettes down the toilet

this is not what it looks like i'll do this every day sadly for rosh he was forced to close his bakery after the scandal and it never reopened and i've seen photos of where the bakery used to be it's still abandoned to this day wow really brutal yeah in this economy i haven't put something else in there he was booming and just because he got some dodgy flour and didn't think to not use it oh yeah okay that's maybe fair enough but that's not the only book and only theory that has been put forward multiple Multiple books have been written about this. All with great titles? Yeah, and they better have at least 11,000 pages. Otherwise, are we paying attention to them, really?

Are they taking it seriously? In 2009, the year after Cursed Bread came out, American investigative journalist Hank Elberelli published A Terrible Mistake, a book that addresses the mystery surrounding the death of frank olson a bacterial a bacteriologist employed by the american military and the cia whoa hang on hang on a second your attention this is sounding a little mk ultra realistic oh this is mk ultra realistic let me tell you about that. Frank Olson, big time MKUltra.

We'll talk about that in just a second. But in the book, El Borelli, who's the writer of A Terrible Mistake, revealed a CIA document labeled, this is what it says, Re. Point St. Esprit and F. Olson Files. It says, France Operation File, inclusive Olsen, Intel file. So these are all labels. Hand carry to Bellen. Tell him to see that these are buried. I'll break that down a little bit.

So F. Olsen there is Frank Olsen, a CIA scientist who, at the time of the Ponce-Saint-Pré incident, led research for the agency into the drug LSD. We'll talk more about F. Olsen, Frank Olsen in a minute. Bellin, it says hand carry to Bellin, David Bellin was the executive director of the Rockefeller Commission created by the White House in 1975 to investigate abuses carried out worldwide by the CIA.

Okay. So it says, this file's labeled Ponce and Esprit F. Olsen Files, hand carried to Bellin. Tell him to see that these are buried. Holy shit. So they've used this little French town as an experiment? Cover this up. Cover this up. Whoa.

According to the BBC, Al Borelli, who wrote the book, believes the Ponce and Esprit and F. Olsen files mentioned in the document would show if they had not been, quote, buried,

that the CIA- Flushed down the toilet. Yeah, with the baguettes, that the CIA was experimenting on the townspeople by dosing them with LSD.

Whoa. So, he's found the label of the file, but unfortunately, the contents of the file no longer exists and he's gone hang on a second this is a bit crazy the conclusion drawn at the time was that one of the town's bakeries the the one owned by rosh brian was the source of the poisoning it's possible el braille says in his book that lsd was put in the bread so it was the bread

but it wasn't the bad flour. He says that they were purposefully doped. Wow. And they've just let him take the fall. Possibly. The baker. Because it's well documented that biological warfare scientists around the world were experimenting with LSD in the early 1950s, a time of conflict in Korea and an escalation of Cold War tensions. Why France?

An ally of theirs at the time. That's right. But I guess also it's a small town. You can maybe, if this is true, if you do believe this theory, that it's very easy to deny any responsibility. Yeah. Why would we have... You sound like a conspiracy theorist.

Why would we be doing that in France? In a tiny little town. Yeah. So weird. Gaslight them. Yeah. this happened in 1951 only a couple of years before the cia started the incredibly controversial and illegal project mk ultra that matt mentioned and that we were we've done a patreon bonus episode on it many years ago so we have briefly discussed it and we've also briefly discussed it dave i did a lot of research in that and you remember how much well i mean that doesn't you just you know being a bit snooty there

i think you've been researching french stuff too much it's uh not just a little report i did a full report on it yeah and i think you should pay it its dues please i apologize but mk ultra it went for 20 years there's so many things you could have talked about and i did yeah okay i forgot it was an 18 hour bonus episode god we wanted to leave that day he would not let us shut this guy up but just to recap uh mk ultra because i'm sure you remember this jess was an illegal human experimentation program designed and undertaken by the US Central Intelligence Agency, the CIA, intended to develop procedures and identify drugs

that could be used in interrogations to weaken individuals and force confessions through brainwashing and psychological torture. Ah, that was what it was about. Yeah, Matt, obviously. You said in 18 hours, I said in one fucking paragraph. Bit of editing. Not that hard. You would write an 1100 page book about bread. I would too. The bread

curse. 1100 pages. Matt said before 11,000 pages. Yeah, he really beat it up. Honestly, you lost me for a while because I was imagining what that would look like so i was like just like you think about a book it's like 300 pages that's fairly thick but it's up to the ceiling i know but then it it would still have to be like book size right or is

it now also like table size i love this you know there are huge books in places sometimes yeah i think old libraries are sort of like you know, like you sort of like wobble them almost and they sort of just like you could knock the cover off one and it'd hit the floor and the rest of the book would just slowly follow it down. Yeah. Like a slinky. Far out.

Imagine that, using a book like a slinky. Wow. That's crazy. Imagine. I don't want to. It's too much. Too much excitement for one day. 1,100 pages.

1,100 is still a lot. It's not 11,000, but 11,000 just doesn't make any sense, Matt. Yeah. How would you sell that in a bookstore? Well, I mean, no one's buying that book, Jess, no matter the size. Cursed bread. Cursed bread, the 11,000 pages. But if you're going to do it, do it properly.

Yeah. I mean, just make the font bigger. That's what I would have done. Right. Okay, just make the font 10 times bigger. Yeah. Bada bing, bada boom. Yeah.

Get some illustrations? Draw the bread? Yeah, imagine how big the bread. You could, you know, you just draw it. It's a long French stick bread. So you just do it, you know, PTO. It's just the bread continues. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

PTO. It's kind of long. Yeah. Beautiful big baguette. Delicious. Absolutely. So MKUltra. Yes.

Kicked off in 1953, only two years after this event. Continued on for two decades and they did heaps of dodgy shit, experimenting with drugs on unwitting participants. Over 7,000 American veterans took part in these experiments non-consensually during the 1950s through 1970s. And in the US, they'd been experimenting on their population even before 1953. In 1951, the US Navy undertook a secret biological warfare experiment in which two types of bacteria were sprayed over the San Francisco Bay Area in California in order to determine how vulnerable a city like San Francisco may be to a bioweapon attack. People have no idea what's going on.

They just release it from a Navy ship. It's just absolutely incredible that a release it from a Navy ship. Just absolutely incredible that a country would do that to itself. Or to anyone. And they claimed that they thought the bacteria was harmless to humans. But 11 residents checked into

Stanford Hospital in San Francisco with very, very rare and very serious urinary tract infections. 10 recovered, but one person died and many people think it's because of the bacteria. Holy shit. They had a reaction to it. That sucks.

I'm actually pretty anti-CIA right now. Are you? After that. Okay. Was that CIA? That's a bit of a hot take. Oh, that's the Navy. Okay.

I'm anti-Navy right now. Okay. What colour would you say you are? Royal blue. Yeah, the opposite. Beautiful. I'll never accept you. you are? Royal blue. Yeah, the opposite. Beautiful. Complete opposite. Except you.

Outside of the colour wheel. Yeah. Jess, you must hate the Navy as well. That's where submarines are. I just hate submarines. I don't hate the Navy. I love Navy. It's a beautiful colour on me.

You don't hate the player. You hate the game. That's right. I just hate submarines. Game of submarines. I don't hate them. I think they're dumb. There's a difference. I don't hate them. I think they're dumb. There's a difference.

I don't hate you, Matt. Dave, do go on. I'm glad you finally clarified that because that's been hanging in the air for years now. The US have, it turns out when I'm looking into this, experimented so often on their own people that they are literally too many to mention. There is that French website that has French celebrities. They also list of times the United States illegally experimented

on their own people. There's a page on that website for some reason. And there are dozens of examples. Land of the free. Land of the free. But I just wanted to mention that one because it shows that they were already experimenting on mass population before 1953. In 1951, same year, when people allegedly ate the bread that made them hallucinate in France.

According to the BBC, which has a great article on this I'll link to, in his book, Hank Elbarelli, the journalist that says the CIA was involved, says he has found a top secret report issued in 1949 by the research director of Edgewood Arsenal where many US government LSD experiments were carried out which states that the army should do everything possible to launch quote field experiments using the drug. This is still from a BBC article. Using freedom of information legislation Al Borelli also got hold of another CIA report from 1954. In it, an agent reported his conversation with a representative of the Sandoz Chemical Company in Switzerland. Sandoz's base, which is just a few hundred kilometres from Ponce de Esprit, was the only place where LSD was being produced at that time. The agent reports in his conversation that after several drinks, the Sandoz representative abruptly stated,

quote, the Pons Saint-Esprit secret is that it was not the bread at all. It was not grain ergot. What was it then? He didn't elaborate further. Oh, okay, great. Give us some information but nothing relevant. He's not saying what it's not, but, you know, is he hinting that it's LSD? Yeah, that's what I got out of that.

And then what about the grey flour? It was just grey flour? That's it? Yeah, I mean, it possibly was just dodgy flour, yeah. The grey flour is actually cement. That's why the baguettes were a little hard. Yeah, but they love a hard bread. They like, you know.

Crusty. Crusty. They want it to have a bit of fight, you know. A bit of fight. A bit of. That's such a funny way to put it. How do you say, how do you say fight? I've never heard that before.

That's great. Yeah, we don't want to, oh, eating. Yeah, we don't want that to be easy. No. We want the meal to fight back a little. I want a challenge. Yeah, that don't want to... Oh, yeah, eating. Yeah, we don't want that to be easy. No. We want the meal to fight back a little bit. I want a challenge. Yeah, that's right. I like to weaponise my meal.

Give it a chance. As for Frank Olsen, who was supposedly named in the CIA report as F. Olsen, remember? Remember I said his name? Well, we now know he was a part of MKUltra and also a part of operation c spray in san francisco where they sprayed the bacteria on the people so this guy's got it you know he's got he's got previous he's got runs on the board he also worked on developing a number of lethal aerosols and handy sized containers they were disguised as shaving cream and insect repellents and contained deadly things like anthrax.

The Guardian writes that further weapons he was working on included a cigarette lighter, which gave out an almost instant lethal gas, a lipstick that would kill on contact with skin, and a neat pocket spray for asthma sufferers that induced pneumonia.

Whoa. I love how they've described it as a neat pocket spray. They all sound like, you know, Bond. They do sound like Bond. Absolutely. That's what Q has come up with. More evil probably than what they would normally do. Here's a lipstick that'll kill you.

Yeah. And they always have fun names, lipsticks. I have one that's called Lady Danger. So that one could just be called Killer. Yeah, Lady Killer. Lady Danger is is fantastic it's a beautiful color i'm just looking at my report on mk ultra yeah frank olson's mentioned quite a lot dave you don't have to go back over all this he actually mentioned quite a lot yeah uh the experiments continue i'll take it from here so he was involved in some pretty top secret shit And he later joined MKUltra

Before he himself Suffered a very mysterious And suspicious death In 1953 You don't say When he fell from a window The 13th floor Of a Manhattan hotel

The family of Frank Olsen Decided to have a second autopsy Performed in 1994 Tell me I've mentioned the name Frank Olsen. That induced no memory from you, did it? No, it did not. No, right in the back of my head.

But no, not really. When was MKUltra? When did we do it? Yeah. Oof. Oof. I think it was about four years ago. Was it a bonus or was it a fuller?

It was a bonus episode. I mean, still, nothing. Isn't that amazing? No, it's concerning. No, I think we talk about so much stuff we talk about so much and i care about so little that what am i going to retain that's a good point well i've got a little bit on frank austin just because i did not remember any of that sorry dave i'm being a smart ass here but i think i've covered it, sorry to rehash old shit, but I was like, this is really interesting.

Yeah, sorry for everybody who's heard the bonus episode, but we are going to have to rehash some of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just skip ahead. It's also since become a Netflix show about his life. Really? Like a miniseries on Frank Olsen. What's it called?

It's a great name, Frank Olsen, I think. I've forgotten what it's called. Directed by that great... I doubt it. Yeah, it's not... I think it's a great name. It's a great name. It's directed by that great...

Hang on. Wormwood. Directed by Errol Morris, the great documentary maker. Wormwood. I've heard of Wormwood. Well, that was in 2017, so maybe we did it after anyway. Check the date on that. So at the time, Frank Olsen's family were told he either jumped or fell from the window.

But there are questions over that narrative. According to The Guardian, they have a whole article on Frank Olsen that I'll link to, which was published after your report, Matt, so hopefully this is new information to some. Leaving the police officers, the night manager returned to the lobby and on a hunch asked the telephone operator if any calls had recently been made from room 1018A where he'd been.

Yes, she replied, and she had eavesdropped. Not an uncommon practice in an era when hotel phone calls will run through a switchboard. Someone in the room had called a number on Long Island, which was listed as belonging to someone called Dr. Harold Abramson, a distinguished physician, less well-known as an LSD expert and one of the CIA's medical collaborators.

The caller said, well, he's gone. Abramson replied, well, that's too bad. Holy shit. Also, if I was a switchboard operator then, 100% I'd be- Oh, you'd be listening in so much. I'd be listening to everything. I was a switchboard operator for a while, but I couldn't stay on the line. That's a huge disappointment.

Oh, right. Well, you were just like, I'll put you through now. Yeah, I'd just put them through. And you'd pull out the cords and put it into a different hole and that sort of stuff. Yeah, of course, but I didn't have to. I think it totally sucks. It all works. Right.

Yeah. Still is the holes and the cords thing. Yeah. Plugging holes. Definitely not just a button on a phone. No. Also, that was like 2010. Why did they have switchboard operators in an insurance company?

Why couldn't it just be press one for this? It was literally two options. Should have just been press one for this, press two for this. But that was your job. They say either this or this? Yeah. You're unhappy that they employed you. Interesting.

True. And it was mostly weekends because I was doing it while I was at uni. And one time I took my laptop in and just played The Sims. Oh, fantastic. While everybody else around me was working really hard and I just sat there playing The Sims. Yeah, you're a real team player. You've always had me.

Okay, that hurts. There's somebody on my team. Yeah, while we're here doing a podcast, it should be noted that Jess's laptop is open and she's playing The Sims right now. Yeah, she's making them spork. And I'm winning. Or whatever.

Spork? What's the word? Woo-hoo. Woo. That's way off. Spork? Spork. Why is it spork?

Spork, okay. Spork. Spork. Can you fill out that thought a little bit, Dave? No, just imagining what a spork would feel like. Any day now. It's winter, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything.

So, no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs, mozzarella balls, and arancini balls? Yes, we deliver those. Moose? No. But moose head? Yes. Because that's alcohol, and we deliver that too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, groceries, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now.

For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. So I've got a little bit more on Frank Olson because I was like, what the fuck? The CIA later revealed that before Olson died,

he had met some CIA colleagues for a retreat in an isolated spot in Maryland a bit over a week earlier. Nine people were there, including Sidney Gottlieb, who headed MKUltra. The Guardian writes that Gottlieb's deputy, Lassbrook, produced a bottle of Cointreau and poured glasses for the company. Several, including Olsen, drank heartily. After 20 minutes, Gottlieb asked if anyone was feeling odd. Several said they were. Gottlieb then told them that he'd spiked their drinks with LSD. Bit of party fun. Wow, bit of fun.

Everyone was annoyed by this big reveal, but Olsen was especially outraged before the hallucinations took over. He returned home a few days later to his family, a changed man, and blurted out to his wife, I've made a terrible mistake, which is why that book is called A Terrible Mistake. Right. Nine days later, he fell from the window. At the time, he was reportedly thinking of leaving MKUltra,

which was super duper top secret in its infancy, with only about two dozen people knowing about it at the time. But Olsen had seen some horrific stuff and knew many, many secrets and was reportedly trying to get out. Since his death, people have speculated, was he murdered? Definitely. Or was it suicide because of the LSD he'd been poisoned with, causing him to have a breakdown? No, it was good.

No, it was he who was murdered. And was he involved with poisoning Ponce Saint-Esprit with LSD? Yeah, definitely. There is evidence that he was possibly in France at the time. Yeah, because he was doing it. And then he finally got a taste of his own medicine, quite literally. He was like, oh, that was bad. Actually.

That was awful. I don't want to be involved in this. Actually, I hate Cointreau. Orange is a disgusting flavour. People say, but it was probably a coincidence he was in France, as he often spent time working in Europe. But other people say, nah, he did it. Yeah.

Yeah, he did it. That's because he did it. Yeah, those people are saying, nah, he did it because he did do it. Yeah. But not everyone agrees on Al Barali's theory about LSD and the CIA's involvement. They're wrong. Yeah.

The people who don't agree are in on it. Yeah. Because they do agree, but they're saying they don't. I don't agree. They're covering their own tracks. Well, Kaplan, the guy who published the massive bread book in 2008. 11,000 pages. Cursed bread.

Cursed bread. He published in 2008. He insists that LSD could not have been responsible. Of course, because he's all about the bread. Yeah. The man loves bread. He loves bread. Well, he also doesn't think that it was ergot poisoning either.

He hates bread. What does he think? Well, let me get to that. I call it cursed bread if you hate bread. Fucking hell, I'm mad at this guy. He rules out LSD on the grounds that the symptoms people suffered, though similar, he says, do not quite fit the drug. He told France 24 News site in 2010,

I have numerous objections to this paltry evidence against the CIA. First of all, it's clinically incoherent. LSD takes effect in just a few hours, whereas the inhabitants showed symptoms only after 36 hours or more. Furthermore, LSD does not cause the digestive ailments or the vegetative states described by the townspeople. Okay. He's winning me over.

Digestive ailments? I'm so easily swung yeah no digestive ailments remember they all had like diarrhea and vomiting and stuff like that he's like people with lc don't usually get that when they were all i'm in that whatever dave finishes with i'll be like oh that was the that was the real one you are easy to sway but the i mean is it possible that i had lsd and something else like gray bread And that came from the diarrhea. Diarrhea from the bread and hallucinations from the LSD. Yeah.

Which is also in the bread. Two things can happen at once. Yeah. Alboroli also points out that LSD could not have survived the fierce temperatures of the baker's oven. But then Kazdan counters that by saying, yeah, they could have just added it to the bread after baking. Yeah.

You know, like the dusting. Yeah. A little dusting. Flour dusting could have just added it to the bread after baking. Yeah. You know, like that dusting. Yeah. A little dusting. Flour dusting could have been. LSD. Is LSD, is that a dustable substance? Maybe. It's more of a liquid, isn't it?

That you soak the papers in and stuff. Okay, druggy McDruidster over here. Then tell us more. Tell us where's your stash and say it into the microphone. I'm only going off because last month we did a science podcast. You did some LSD. And they were talking about it a lot as we were doing LSD. And what they were saying.

It was a very generous podcast. Yeah. That's nice. We did it over Zoom, so I don't know how they did it. So it's like a digital thing. Yeah. He told us to lick the screen. Wow.

We said, all right, Corey. All right. I'm doing it. Kaplan also, as I said, rules out ergotism. But as far as I can work out, he doesn't have the answer as to what actually did cause the mass poisoning. Right. So he's saying it's not the LSD.

It's not ergotism. But he's bringing no new theories. That's right. He's just ruling out other stuff. God, he must be fun at a dinner party. Captain Negative over there. No, incorrect. When's ruling out?

How about you rule something in? Yeah. Well, I'm sorry to reveal that this- I'm not- I know we're playing charades. I'll tell you what, you're not acting out right now. Can't you just guess the movie I'm acting? No. It's certainly not

Schindler's List though. It's not 101 Dalmatians. Yeah. It's not... So many fucking movies. He's just listing all the ones it is. He's such a piece of shit. It's not Rocky 2. It's not Rocky 3. It's a Rocky 1. It's not Rocky 4.

It's a fucking Rocky 1. It's not Rocky 5. It's not Rocky 3. Is it Rocky 1? It's not Rocky 4. Is it fucking Rocky 1? It's not Rocky 5. It's not Rocky 1. Oh, okay, good. Shit. That was my guess. But he doesn't know what did it, and I'm pleased to reveal that it's a mystery episode.

Yes! Well, is it? Because I think we know that it's MKUltra. But do we know that, Matt? See, he's so easy to sway. Yeah, that's right. Do you know that? No, I guess I don't.

And do you want to say on the record that you think it was the CIA? No. I love the CIA on the record. Yes. Love them. Love the Navy. Royal Blue. I was joking about that.

That color can fuck off. Navy all the way. Yeah. Yeah. No was joking about that. That color can fuck off. Navy all the way. Yeah. Yeah. No, I love it. Honestly, I love everything and everyone. And it's hard. You love Hitler.

Got him. Fucking smoked him. Say it. Go on. Say you just lied. Say you love everything and everyone. Okay, I lied. I don't love Hitler. You got me.

Do you love everything else? Yes. So you love Nazis. Nazis. That's funny you say, on the tables have turned. On the Sci Guys podcast, Corey pronounces Nazis, Nazis. Nazis.

And I'm like, you've made it so cute. Yeah, it's fun. Sounds like a little cookie or something. Pass the Nazis. Want a Nazi with you, cup of milk? Cup of milk? Pass the Nazis. Want a Nazi with your cup of milk? Cup of milk? Cup of warm milk and a Nazi? Thanks for popping over.

Hey, before you go, have a couple of Nazis. Take some home for the kids. Shortbread, Monte Carlo, Nazi. Nazi. That's stupid. Nazi. That's stupid. Nazi. We're out of penguins. We've got some Nazis.

Couple for the road. We're out of penguins. They're sort of Tim Tammy type people. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, to this day, 70 plus years later, some are still calling on the French government to set up an inquiry to get to the bottom of what actually happened yeah people are not happy with it honestly there's got have they not done a big inquiry into they've done multiple okay and you've talked about them for the last

hour but they yes but they all have different they're like maybe it was this maybe nothing's conclusive and they all sort of contradict each other and then that was between the early 50s to early 70s and since then it's sort of just been swept under the rug right science has come on a bit since yeah but is anyone still living any of the key players some very young people i think a few years ago who's the man that's the mayor of the town about 10 years ago came out and spoke to the bbc with their article and stuff like that because he was a child in the town at the time, like four or five years old. And it really left a big scar on the town because a lot of people recovered but then a few people sort of – it ruined their lives. Yeah, the baker for one.

I know. I feel bad for him. But also some of the people were so badly poisoned that they couldn't go back to their jobs and things like that. Yeah, their regular lives. They couldn't do it anymore because they'd been so profoundly affected by the hallucinations and, you know, it triggered something in their brains. Well, I hope the CIA learnt something.

You know, I'm not talking about this in particular. Sure. Surely they didn't do that. Just generally. That would be wild if the CIA did this. Yeah. Like, that would be wild. Yeah.

It's like ethics just don't apply. That's crazy. So, that's why I can't. It's hard to believe that that is possible that this was done on purpose. I know, but then I also was shocked when I read that thing about them just spraying San Francisco with a bacteria. No, they definitely could have done it, but it is just wild that they. Yeah, because I was reading that going, no, what the fuck? Yeah.

And that poor baker just being a scapegoat. Yeah. You're blamed and then just never recovering a business. Being a patsy. He's a patsy. Do you want a couple of patsies before we go? Patsy or natsy. No, I shouldn't.

I just had a Terry's chocolate orange or... No, I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I just had a Terry's chocolate orange, you know. Bit full. It's not Terry's. It's mine. We love your culture. If it was the bread, as to whether it could happen again, thankfully that's very unlikely these days as ergotism is extremely rare.

Although it does pop up from time to time in very poverty stricken places but not very much anymore and lisa manelli yes that's right god bless her in france there are now rules regulating the quality of bread that are taken very seriously i learned this introduced in the early 1990s. The so-called baguette laws state that for any place to have the right to call itself a boulangerie, like a French bakery, they must bake bread on the same premises they're sold. And each baguette must include only four ingredients, flour, water, yeast, and salt. So they all have to make their own bread from scratch. It's like the German beer purity laws. Yeah, it totally is.

Love it. There can be no preservatives or additives, and it can't be frozen at any stage. And there are even rules as to how long, wide, and high they should be. They should be about 65 centimetres long for it to be a standard baguette. Wow, that's big. Suddenly, I found myself looking at a bunch of baguette facts. Oh, my God.

Yum. Jess, tell me if this is fun or just yum. Can we get baguettes for lunch? Is there anywhere that sells baguettes? Remember the old studio, there was a bakery across the road that sold baguettes? Oh, yeah. Was it just a baguette or did it have stuff in it? I think it had stuff in it.

Oh, my God. Yum. Yeah, okay. We're turning off the mic. Maybe some fromage? Yes. What does that mean cheese okay yeah fantastic i went the first i went to france france france i uh i the first day we went out had uh baguettes with uh camembert and mustard yep and. And it was so freaking good. Yeah.

So simple, hardly anything, but just so good. So good. My friends and I sat under the Eiffel Tower with baguettes and cheese and probably ham and just a bunch of things, just eating a little picnic. Heaven. Oui, oui. Beautiful day.

Great food, great food. Hovent. Probably. Probably means heaven. Probably. Probably means heaven. Probably. If it doesn't. I can basically speak French. Le Hovent.

The heaven. The heaven. You know what it is? Paradis. Oh, but it's basically the thing I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah Paradise Working off the same Paradis

I forgot that half the lyrics You put an L in there Paradis No, you put a G in there Paradis It's so offensive Well, here we go Let's get ready for our main course with some baguette facts.

Yum. In France, there are 30,000 boulangeries. That's people that are ticking these boxes. Man, I want to go to a boulangerie. Every day in France, more than 30 million baguettes are sold and eaten. 30 million. When I was in France, i thought it was the funniest thing that you know the the french stereotype as a kid you know the cartoon character of a

french person is wearing a stripy shirt a beret and is holding a baguette or they're on a bicycle with a baguette in their basket and that is one of the first people I saw when I went into Paris. Someone rode past, like a group of French people. Rode past the Irish pub you were in. Yeah, yeah. And they looked just like that? Yeah. Crazy. Oh, but my friend lives in France now, in Paris,

which is outside of Paris. So I was hanging out with him and just like living it up like a local basically. Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, I couldn't believe like there were no berets, but everyone was getting around with baguettes. People walking home just holding baguettes. Yeah.

Couldn't believe it. And I loved it. But they're different over there. I don't know why they're different, but they just taste. Because they've got these, you know, the standard way they make them. Yeah. Because you hear that bullshit about certain things. Oh, it tastes better from the sauce.

They say that about Guinness. I reckon the Guinness here tastes similar to the Guinness in Ireland. But baguettes, a whole other level over there. I can't explain why. Even though you just did. On average, French people spend 2 hours and 13 minutes a day eating and drinking. Baguettes. Love that.

They drink baguettes. They eat baguettes. I mean, how long do we spend eating and drinking? No. See, over there, if you, like, work at a place. Like, I'm trying to think of it. If you have a job. Yeah.

Like, they all have a proper break to eat. And they all have, like, cafeterias. Yeah. Where they go and sit down and you have, down and you have a hot meal every day at work. Whereas when I was working in an office, I'm having a sandwich whilst I'm still working over the computer, trying to get it done. But they take a break. They respect their eating time.

Appreciate that. I was thinking about that recently. I ate too quick. Got to take your time to enjoy it. I don't know. I like the French. I don't know. I've been joking about the French being a bit snooty,

but that's just a stereotype. Although I did do a gig recently, and I was asking the crowd. I was emceeing, so I was asking the crowd, hey, how are you having fun? And asking people in particular, you know, just warming them up. And I asked this woman, she's like uh i'm okay i'm like okay yeah great we have you up for a good time yeah like all right no worries just what you want and then um in the break i was talking to some of the other acts and they're

like oh how about that row of french people in the middle i I'm like, okay, that makes sense. So then when I started the second bracket, I said, hey, I heard you're French. And she's like, oui. And I said, that makes sense. Oh, I thought you were just being an asshole. But, yeah. Welcome to our country. Welcome to our country.

In our culture, the way you're behaving is rude. But I didn't realise you were French. And I love cultural differences. It's a cultural difference. It's a cultural difference. Yeah. I go over there and they think I'm obnoxious. Yeah.

Because I'm- Just over there. Just over there is obnoxious. I've got to tone it down next time I go there, now that I know. Because I don't think I realise the social differences. Yeah, because you're walking into cafes going, are you pumped to be here? How are we feeling tonight, Paris?

Let me hear you, brother. Can I get a soy flat while I'm in here? How good is it to be alive? Oh, no? You would be the same, Dave. I was always spoiled when I was going around with my friend who could speak fluent French. And you, when you're over there, you probably normally are with your wife.

Oh, thank you. I just put my wife in front of me and she just speaks and it's fantastic. Did you ever get trapped by yourself without her? Not trapped. Yeah, yeah. Like I'm in line for like, you know, like a gift shop or something. Yeah. And I get up there and they're talking and I'm like, oh, where is she?

My translator. I don't understand. I haven't had to learn. Oh, no, she's in the bathroom. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I text her, quick, get me a quick. I had to say on the last day I was there, he'd gone to work, and I'm like, I'll go to a, what are they called?

Bongerries. Boulangerie. Boulangerie. I'm saying that wrong. Bongerries. Again, I didn't have to learn. I'll go down to me local Bongerries. I'll get myself a baguette.

I'll say Bon to Jerry, and then we'll fucking get going. But I'm like, I'd learnt what no meat or something meant. So I just wanted a thing that didn't have meat in it and I must have said the exact opposite. Extra meat? So they gave me this, it was so full of meat. I'm like, merci, merci. Merci.

Panicking. Yeah, full panicking. Thank you. I'm like, oh, no. Yeah, exactly. Throw it in a bin right out the front. In, like, the middle of Paris, most places would stop you and go, it's okay, I speak English.

You're embarrassing yourself and me. Exactly, I feel so awkward. You'll try, you're like, merci, and they're like, hi, how can I help you? You're like, thank you so much, I'm so sorry. Oh, God. But in other places where they did speak English, that was where you're like, ugh. Yeah. Fuck. Arnie other places where they did speak English, that was where you're like, ugh. Yeah.

Fuck. Arnie, Arnie, please. Yeah, if he's in the bathroom or something, like, un momento. My friend, we'll sort this out. Final baguette fact. In April 1944, Le Grand Prix de la Baguette was started in France. It's a competition to determine who makes the best baguettes

the contest winner receives 4 000 euros and gets to supply daily bread to the french president for a whole year until a new winner is like is it but like are you paid well yeah so okay i looked that's the phrasing that this website used apparently you get a contract to do it so it is quite prestigious and you get paid a lot of money. It's just for the president or it's for his whole house? I think it's for his whole staff. So that's a lot. That's actually a lot of work.

Yes. And then are you trying to run your business at the same time? Yes, if you're like a small boulangerie, you're like, I can't do that. What? I can't keep my shop open and feed the president. You get to supply daily bread to the French president. Oh, great. You bring it in on your little bicycle

Who's the president at the moment? Is it Macron still? He got back in Is he good? Do the French people like him? I guess they do Enough of them like him to get in I mean does anybody like politicians? No that's a fake call

No but that's my report on the 1951 Ponce-Espry mass poisoning. I'm afraid I don't have all the answers because it's still debated 70 years later. But there's some theories. But what we do know is it was a wild few days in that town. Yeah, it sounds awful and crazy. And it was the CIA. And now that I've said that, if I go missing, it's clearly the CIA. If you fall from a window.

Yeah, I don't fall from windows. No, you've never fallen from a window. Is that true? You've never fallen from a window before this? No, I'm not a clumsy idiot. Wow. I've fallen from several, so don't worry if it happens to me. Probably was an accident.

He keeps doing it. Yeah, just try and avoid standing near windows i always do because i imagine that's what the cia does they're just waiting patiently for someone to be standing in an open window but we record in a studio without windows these days so that's on purpose they'll never get us that's on purpose no snipers no falling from windows tick tick fantastic report dave merci beaucoup well that brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show where we get to thank some of our fantastic supporters who support us on patreon.com slash do go on pod these are the people who make this show live

yeah and how nice is it to be alive but what are some things people can do if they get involved at our patreon sorry you stopped a sentence yeah and i was i wasn't sure if i was going to go on or not you were about to come in there so i just i left it and then no that's on me some of my thoughts uh and pauses are unnaturally long so you know you're not you're used to talking to normal people who would be like if they stopped for that long, it would be over. But you're like, that was in the middle of a sentence. Things that you can enjoy over on Patreon include three bonus episodes a month, including Phrasing the Bar, our Brendan Fraser filmography podcast. You get early access to live shows.

You get the Facebook group, which is the friendliest section of the internet. And you also get to submit a fact, quote, or question if you are on the Sydney Scheinberg Deluxe level or above. There's also heaps of bonus mini reports, including what I believe is a fantastic one about MKUltra. what I believe is a fantastic one about MK Ultra. If you want to hear a slightly different take, I assume. I have genuinely no memory of it at all, really.

I remember we recorded at my house, though. Really? Yeah, my old place. That's one thing I do recall. No memory of that. Either I was there. No memory of your old place. On Zoom? No?

No, I'm kidding. How dare you? How dare you not remember your old place on zoom no no i'm kidding how dare you how do you not remember my old place uh anyway one of the first things we like to do is uh shout out to people on our sydney schoenberg level and they get to give us a fact quote or question and this section actually has a little jingle go something like this. Fact, quote, or question. He always remembers the ding. She always remembers the sing. That's what the Patreon messaged me saying. You should say sing.

Oh, that's good. I wish I remembered who it was and I could have thanked them then. But you know who you are and you know what you've done. Now, in this section, if you're on the Sidney Schoenberg level, you get to give us a fact, quote, or question or brag or suggestion or really whatever you like. Yeah, it can be anything someone gave us a recipe at one point yep uh and you also get to give yourself a title this week the first one comes from derrick brigham aka travel agent of the podcast stars and derrick is offering a suggestion

okay that's how the french people probably said. Suggestion. Suggestion. Yep. Writing, I've got a recommendation for a place to go when the North American tour gets back on track. If you find yourself in Portland, Oregon, you should go check out the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry, better known as OMSI. There you can get some hands-on fun with the physics and chemistry exhibits.

Oh, great sentence. Or test your lateral thinking with the puzzles they have set up. You can head over to the planetarium and relax under a starry sky or catch the laser light show. That sounds pretty fun. That sounds like science works only better. Better? Well, I don't like science works only better. Yeah. Better? Well, I don't know.

Like Questacon. Different. There is a featured exhibit that rotates subjects. The last time I went, it was on the life of Nelson Mandela. They also have smaller exhibits that rotate out. And on my last trip, they had one on the animation studio laker oh which i think did they they did uh a film that i watched on primates i can't remember something in the something somethings ah something in the something strings uh-huh it was it was awesome

looked amazing i think like it is like a sick animation studio. How do you spell that? L-A-I-K-A. And I got to see the actual dolls used for their films, such as Coraline and Paranorman. Now, if I haven't sold you on this experience yet, this last item will absolutely will. Will absolutely will.

I love that. Exciting. It's practically tailor-made for jess oh pressure's on now we'll see you see omzi is right on the river and docked right outside for you to tour on the uss blueback a decommissioned diesel submarine from the omzi website get a glimpse of how a crew of 85 lived on the blueback for months, plus peer through a periscope, touch a torpedo, climb a bunk, and much more. Touch a torpedo?

Touch a torpedo is so funny. What are you doing with that torpedo? Touching it. With what? Definitely sounds like a euphemism, doesn't it? Oh, okay. You're just touching it. Stop touching your torpedo, Jason.

What's wrong with you two? I want to kick the torpedo you may only touch it you must be very flexible to kick your own torpedo I am I don't think you do have to be very flexible everyone at home stop the podcast and have a go

I'm not flexible enough thank you very much Derek for that suggestion I'd love to get to Portland, Oregon. Go Trailblazers. Yep. The next one comes from James Edwards, aka Major Catastrophe. Hey.

And James is offering a quote writing, after my last fact got an on-air I'm actually from chess. Really? Do you want me to see if i can find out what it was i'll probably forget let's see get ready to i'm actually all over again uh it was oh there are only four words in the english language which end in douche d-o-U-S. Can you name them? Tremendous, horrendous, stupendous. Yeah, that's right.

And then you just started listing off heaps more, didn't you? Yeah. Hazardous. Mostly because I Googled it. Yeah. That is so... I mean, that is a... Yeah.

So, yeah. Can you please try not to... I'm actually this one for once in your life. Maybe do a little of your own fact checking then, James. Get it right and we won't have to worry about it. But yeah, go on. Hit us with your best shot. This time James is offering a quote.

Oh, it's safe, isn't it? Incorrect. You all seem to like George W. Bush's fool me quote. You are correct. Can't get fooled again. That is maybe You are correct. Can't get fooled again. That is maybe my favourite quote. Can't get fooled again. He says the fool wording, which is,

there's an old saying in Tennessee, I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says fool me once, shame on you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again. It's so funny. The extra bit adds to it. What a great... I forgot that he starts out by saying it's an old saying in Tennessee

and then saying, well, it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee. Like, that's so great. That's all fantastic. I feel like if anyone... Yeah, I must have so many Bushisms of my own that i've done on this show you know just uh now watch this drive a couple uh james continues a couple of my other fave bushisms uh they misunderstood me oh that's good also rarely is the question asked is our children learning?

That is very good. That's so good. And my absolute favourite, I know how hard it is to put food on your family. It is hard. They're quick. He says, God bless America. Love you guys. Looking forward to seeing Matt and Dave in London. Ah, James, we will have already been. And you guys looking forward to seeing matt and dave in london

ah james we will have already been and we're looking forward to that in reverse which is remembering remembering it fondly yes uh so good yeah that watch this drive is up there as well that's another class i've just looked up the full quote is um i call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers thank you now watch this drive oh my god horrendous that's fantastic all right and uh next one comes from kelly clark who i hung out with a bit in uh in perth when i was over there a month or so back we went so on after the first show, she was there with a few other Patreon supporters hanging out. And when I came out and had a drink with them, we were chatting, had a great time.

And then just before the bar was closing up, a glass got thrown. Whoa. It wasn't that close to him. It was, you you know like half a meter from my head and uh the guy who threw it missed the guy i was aiming at by miles it was like a fight was almost broken out but it never really did holy shit and i was like it's so nice to get some perth culture and they all felt that they all felt a bit they're like oh this i'm sorry that they were very apologetic for perth. I'm like, no, you know, this happens everywhere.

Yeah. Obviously, ideally it doesn't happen all the time. But I'm like, it's not the first time I've seen an attempted glassing. It's not the first time someone's tried to throw something at your head. But then we went to a jazz club up the road. And I'm like, what a fun, like, difference. What am I trying to say here? Juxtaposition.

Juxtaposition, sure. Was anything thrown at you at this venue? No. Just smooth jazz. Just smooth jazz. Yeah, this jazz combo played for the next, you know, we were there for about an hour. It was great.

Great. So much fun. Anyway, Kelly Clark, aka Chief of the Plain Name Clan. Oh, yeah, Kelly Clark is- Kelly Clark is pretty plain. It's pretty plain. Say that with love. But it's also Kelly Clark.

It's sort of got that hard-hitting curse sound. Kelly Clark. Yeah, double- Still sort of sounds like- Clark is fun, too. Yeah. It's got a bit of a pop star vibe about it. Okay.

Is that because it's very close to Clarkson? Probably, yes. Yeah, that's what my brain was probably saying anyway uh kelly has a suggestion writing uh kaya yama from wajak nunga country which is i'm guessing the perth the indigenous uh name for the perth area i'd really love to hear an acknowledgement of country as part of the podcast intro i don't know if it'd be before the theme music or during it um i love this pod and the only thing it lacks is this bloody hell we're just one piece of the puzzle sure yeah that is that's the only thing it like i would have said substance um yesility to edit bad riffs out. Ability to form words properly.

Yeah, speaking. Remember just before when I couldn't think of juxtaposition? Yeah. I'm sure that would have been edited nicely down to make me sound pretty quick. Pretty quick. You're just like, juxtaposition. Juxtaposition, you know, like a TikTok voice.

Yeah, great call, and uh and good timing because we were we've been looking into that and uh yeah kind of considering that for a little while as well by the time you're hearing this because we are recording ahead of time by the time you're hearing this is probably um it's it would be in the show notes um at at least and we're looking into the logistics, the easiest way to slot in an acknowledgement of country. But great call. I don't hear many podcasts doing it just yet,

which it would be nice to hear more of. But, yeah, good suggestion. Yeah, like the comedy festival shows all do it. Yep. Or it's a welcome to country rather than an acknowledgement of country. That's right, yeah. The late great Uncle Jack jack yeah the recent ones yeah i think it's a cool part of it absolutely um uh yeah is it worth explaining to overseas

listeners oh yeah good call so i mean uh an acknowledgement of country is um you'd hear it at the start of shows or at meetings and stuff in Australia and it would be where people would say we acknowledge the traditional owners of the land on which we're meeting today. For us, where we record in Brunswick, we're in Wurundjeri land in Nga Melbourne. But there's so many different lands and cultures all around Australia, which is very, very cool. That's right.

And if you're not a local Indigenous person from that country, you can't do a welcome to country, but you can do an acknowledgement to country, as I understand it. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, great. Thanks for that suggestion, Kelly. And, yeah, I think I said to Kelly that we've got to go over and do a do-go-on over there at some point in Perth, maybe next year.

Were you questioning it when the glass came at your head, but then you were back on board when that smooth jazz overtook your body? I think maybe that's why they were apologetic. Don't tell David and Jess. No, don't tell them. Because honestly- Please still come over. I just cancelled my flight.

Hello, Jetstar. Is that you? Hello, Tiger. What? You're not in business anymore. What? What? What? What? I'm under what? The final one this week comes from Stephen Edmonds, aka

provider of an alternative to the Devonshire or Cornish method. Okay. This is going to be a psycho. This is going to be a sloppy mess. Well, it could be. Maybe it's half-half. I never thought of that.

Or maybe it's straight up. Plain. Oh, my God. No jam, no cream. Stephen, if that's it. There's also the option of, I saw someone talk about you just make it, you know, a scone sandwich. Yeah.

That way, you know, neither is on top and bottom, you know. Right, okay. Sounds like a coward's way out. Stephen's asked a question writing, which book has been in print since 1966 and has likely been used by all three Do Go On members? All right. So, yeah, I like it.

Often the question is, you know, this is more like a trivia question or a riddle. I'm not sure which. It's been in print since 1966. I'm guessing it's the- It's got to be something from school. Or it's the Saints Premiership, you know, story. Yep, that would have been used by all of us.

It's since 1966, but it's not necessarily starting in 1966. No. So it could be the Bible. Oh. Yeah, well- Guinness Book of Records. Oh. Oh, that's Oh. Yeah. Well. Guinness Book of Records. Oh. Oh, that's true.

What year was the Guinness Book of Records? Could have been that year. It was way earlier than that, wasn't it? Dave, no Googling, mate. Look at Dave Googling. First Guinness Book of Records. Everyone, he's Googling. Please.

I just typed in, what is this guy talking about? What about, 1966 was the first year decimal currency came in? Yeah. So, what book would we have used? Well, book of stamps. Before you stamps. A checkbook. A checkbook.

Oh, which I've never used. All right. Never used a checkbook? Never written a check? I don't think I've ever written a check. No. Let me answer the question. Okay. Cookery, answer the question. Okay.

Cookery, The Australian Way. Yeah. Now in its eighth edition and said to be the best and most reliable cookbook ever published for Australian schools. Oh, maybe I have seen it then. Yeah, you've seen it. That doesn't ring a bell. But I never did cooking class at school. You incredibly overestimate my abilities to cook.

Home-ec. Oh, no, I do recognise. You incredibly overestimate my abilities to cook. Home-ec. Oh, no, I do recognise. Yeah, no, I have seen this book now that I'm Googling a picture of it. I legit have not. I'm no chef. Last night I tried to cook eggplant parmigiana. And how did it go? Because you said tried.

Yeah, I cut them up too small and ended up making a casserole, but it was quite nice. It was quite nice. Stephen says, I still have my copy, fourth edition, and there is a recipe that I refer to which has these ingredients. 300 grams self-raising flour. Get your pens ready, listeners. One tablespoon of butter.

Was it today we were talking about this yeah it feels like years ago doesn't it a quarter teaspoon of salt yep see there's the two teaspoons yeah as in starting with tea and have they written out teaspoon or is it tea it is written out teaspoon good that's that helps me three quarter cup of water One quarter teaspoon cayenne pepper. Cayenne? Oh, okay. Cayenne pepper. Cayenne pepper.

One quarter teaspoon mustard powder. 80 grams grated tasty cheese. Okay. Rub butter into flour. Mix into dough. Roll and cut into shapes. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes. Savory cheese scones.

Savory scones. Keep the jam and cream away from these. Not in the book, but a fantastic addition is chopped up bacon, cooked and let to mostly cool before mixing into the dough. Stephen Edmonds, you're a gentleman, you're a squire, you're a scholar. And thank you so much for this beautiful trip down memory lane, which is just in the far reaches of my brain. So, yeah, cheers to that.

I hope someone cooks that at home. Dave, I reckon that's the kind of thing you could cook. That does sound good. You should make that. Okay. Thank you so much, Stephen, Kelly, James, and Edward. And Derek. James's surname is Edwards. Stephen, Kelly, James and Edward. And Derek. James.

James' surname is Edwards. Another thing we like to do is shout out to some of our other fantastic Patreon supporters. Now, Jess, you normally come up with a bit of a game based on the episode topic at hand. Yeah, and we're naming their 11 11 000 page book oh brilliant based off cursed bread okay 11 000 page books all of these people have written them exactly 11 11 000 not 11 001 no and they haven't padded to get to 11 000 these have only been published because they hit 11 000000 perfectly. Fantastic.

That's so good. And there's a few people I'm looking at. All three of mine are from the address unknown, but you've got to assume from deep within the fortress of the moles. Also deep from within the fortress of not getting a Christmas card. And I hope, because I think people don't realize they don't have their addresses in. So I think I want to try and mention this a bit more.

If you want your Christmas card for next year, make sure you go into the Patreon and add your address in. You've probably selected, maybe accidentally, maybe on purpose, there's a box ticked, say, please don't send anything. Yeah. But every year we get people saying, hey, I didn't get my christmas card i think

a lot of the people who don't get them are because they don't realize they haven't put their address in anyway i'd love to thank firstly from address unknown it is katie mccracken such a great name such a great name what is what is katie's book on uh six bottles of rum and a go-kart. That's actually... That's fucking sick, Dave. Thank you. I mean, Cursed Bread sucks, so I thought they'd be, like, bad or kind of lame. Sorry, that's too good.

That is so good. You read that and you go, what is this about? I'm at bare minimum in a bookshop or at the airport bookshop, because that's where I love to browse. Yes. I am picking that one up. I'm turning it around. I'm reading that blurb.

What's that about? 100%. Six bottles of rum and a go-kart. That is so good. Well. Well, what's it about? It's about a really horrific go-kart accident. Yeah.

I should not have been driving. As a result of six bottles of rum. Thank you very much,ie mccracken that beat out my idea of uh scottish egg baking tips but we have like so many oh man why burn a great 1100 page book well i was only because of mccracken i don't think it'd work for anyone else okay because i went, right. I see. We're all going Kraken. That's great Kraken. I'd also love to thank, from Address Unknown, John Williams. As in the composer?

Wow. Yes. I always get confused between Williams and Williamson. Which one's the Star Wars guy? Which one is the, hey, true blue? True blue. He's a true Australian son. That's him. Is it me and you? Williams is the hey true blue true blue he's a true australian son that's his name is it mom and dad

is it a cockatoo is it standing by your mates when they're in a fight or will she be right true blue oh that's so good. So I think that's the title. I love it. Or will she be right? Or will she be right? Or will she be right? Question mark?

Or will she be right? I mean, I'm reading that blurb. Maybe just will she be right? Will she be right? Will she be right? Will she be right? Question mark. Yeah.

And John Williams won a lot of awards, many Academy Awards. He's also been nominated for a Razzie. Ooh. Wow. But hasn't quite got it. So he's a nominated ergot. Yes, because I'm not sure. I don't think he has all of them.

He's won 25 Grammys, five Academy Awards, four Golden Globes, and he's had 52 Academy Award nominations, which is second only to Walt Disney. Wow. But I don't know if he's got a Tony. No, he hasn't really gone into the musical theatre space yet. Yeah. Give him time.

He is only 90 years old. Yeah, he can do it. If anybody can, it's John Williams. I wonder if John Williams from Add address unknown is not yet sick of people bringing up the composer or john williamson oh yeah that probably depending on where which um mole fortresses in it will either be baffled or sick of that as well uh and finally another mole person it's olga prifty olga prifty yeah that's that's a hall of fame name that's incredible olga's already really good olga you could be olga johnson and that's fantastic incredible

olga smith yeah so good but olga prifty holy shit that's elevated to upper echelon yeah and that's the name of the book upper echelon yeah what's it about oh i mean i i it's one of those things i can't yeah um i can't really tell you much about it without giving anything away it'd be too much of a spoiler yeah just just trust me and read it it's a bit like when somebody first suggested the documentary catfish to me. Okay. They said, don't worry about it, just watch it. And I said, wow, that was a film. Yeah, loved it. Now it's a whole series. Upper Echelon's also about catfishing.

Matt. Oh, no. Sorry. Fucking hell, Matt. Come on. I don't know what I did. Edit that. Bleep that out in the edit.

You will sound so bad if they bleep it. It's also a bad thing. This is about us going, no, Matt. You can't say that. Yeah, leave it. Don't edit that out. Don't bleep that. Whoa, Matt, you can't say that on a podcast. It's the 21st century, man.

No, no, please don't bleep that. Sorry, don't have to pull you up on that one, Matt. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Honestly. I cannot stand idly by. Wow. There's something very funny about bleeping something and making it worse than it is.

You know, like that viral video a few years ago of The Count on Sesame Street. But they bleeped out every time he said counting. So it sounded like he was saying fucking. That's fun. That's fun. That's good. Can I thank some people as well?

Oh, that would please me no end. Oh, my God. You can't say that on a podcast. That would please me no end. No, Matt. Matt. I would love to thank, again, from deep within the fortress of the moles and with no surname, so a lot to work with here, James.

Ooh, James. What about Torpedoes for All? Torpedoes for All. I was going to go, don't call me Jimmy. What about two put, Peter's rolling brackets, don't call me Jimmy. That's good. When you've got two grand titles and you can't. We've got his surname in the email address, but if he hasn't put it down,

we've got to assume he doesn't want us to, right? That's what I usually, that's my rule. We'll say James S. Okay. You've said too much. Okay. We also had a title ready. Sorry.

Oh, yeah. We've done it. Yeah, it was great. I loved it, but I was just like, I'm just thinking it's such a common name That he'd be like I wonder if that was me Yeah

It's no location It's just you James Let's try If there are any other clues We can give him Okay Your name Reminds me

Of going Here we go To the post office Oh yeah Yeah Is that vague enough Yeah yeah That's good

James Jimmy Don't call me Jimmy Don't call me Jimmy Maybe the elephant post office. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

We're getting too close to the bone here. Yeah, that's enough. Shut up now. Thank you, James. S. Mr. S. We'd also love to thank, from Pensacola, Florida. Oh, I love this fellow.

Pensacola. Anthony Brown. Anthony Brown. See, that's the opposite of Olga Prifty. But it's still a great name. Anthony Brown. AB. I like it.

Anthony Brown. Yeah, big fan of that. Florida man, Anthony Brown. Sounds like a quarterback. Yeah, he does. Yeah. There are a few Browns. I think there's a few.

There's a whole team. It's crazy. Oh, yeah. Anthony Brown, yeah, the big book of Brown. Yeah. It's a coffee table book. Yeah, every page is a different shade. A little underpaid coffee table book is so good.

Well, that's like in the shade chapter. Obviously, it's 11,000 pages, so there's also just brown things. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There are a few pages where you can touch brown fabric. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there is. You can feel like you can see brown. It's got a scratch and sniff element to it as well.

Yeah, you can smell brown. You can smell brown. I've always wanted to Yeah Do you remember the Martin Malloy album the brown album I remember in the On the CD booklet or maybe on the

Back or in the booklet there was a Page of all different shades Of brown and then the last One was blue and it was just said Not brown or something like that. That's good stuff. That's good stuff. That's comedy.

Finally, for me, I would love to thank from London. Oh, London. Love to thank Anya Clarkson. Anya Clarkson. Anya Clarkson. Anya Clarkson. Anya Clarkson. Anya Clarkson.

Anya Clarkson. Meditative relaxation. Okay. uh okay clarkson on your clarks and on your clarks and on your clarks and uh meditative relaxation okay for dogs oh that's good and and it's meditative if it if that's the real whatever the right word is yeah it's that yeah okay that's good and dogs need that yeah they need to chill the fuck out the Calm the hell down. Do you know what I mean? And they love a long book. They love a long book. They love to rip through it.

Dave, would you like to thank some people? Hey, I would love to. I would love to thank, from another location unknown, Edward Duffy. Edward Duffy. Edward Duffy. What about six great uses for sticky tape? Oh, that's good. What are they? Just spoil a couple of them for me. Well, it goes for 11, sticky tape? Oh, that's good. What are they?

Just spoil a couple of them for me. Well, it goes for 11,000 pages. Oh, true, but you've only got six. Yeah, so we're quite detailed. Well, Edward is. Okay. So like wrapping presents. Okay, that's the first 600 chapters.

Fixing glasses when they break. 88 chapters. You fold it over on itself, make it a little loop, and then you can use it to stick one thing to another thing. That's only one chapter, but it is about 2,000 pages. Okay. What else can you stick your tape for? What about you?

You can roll it around your face and it makes your face look a bit funny. Yeah, that's fun. Like Jim Carrey did on Yes Man. I haven't seen it, but I imagine that that's funny. What about if you make a frame, and I wasn't listening to anything you've said, so you might have said it as well, but you just wrap it around,

and it sort of makes like a makeshift glass for a window. Oh, yeah, that's nice. Great. So that's five. We don't want to spoil the last one. Okay. So obviously pick up the book, Edward's book. It's about fingerprints. Fuck. Well, obviously, pick up the book, Edward's book. It's about fingerprints.

Fuck. Well, still, he goes into great detail. So, it's worth it. It's worth the... What do these 11,000-page books cost? It must be a lot. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

I mean, books are per page. Yeah, you pay per page. Yeah. It's like kids' books are so cheap. Yeah. Piece of piss. Seven pages. Whatever.

Is this free? It takes them ages. Yeah. So dumb. Just really quick. Kids are pretty cheap. Yeah. Piece of piss. Seven pages. Whatever. And it takes them ages. Yeah. So dumb. Just read quicker. Kids are so dumb. Read better. Read faster.

Grow up. Grow up. Grow up. You children. You can't even roll over. Idiot. Can't they? Children can't roll over?

When they're small. Okay. You think of babies? Yeah. What are babies if not. Okay. You think of babies? Yeah. What are babies if not children? So you think of... So what, like toddlers and onwards as adults? Pre-toddler, child.

No, I'm saying born, child. Yes. As soon as you can roll over, fucking hold a conversation, then you're a peer. Okay. You're a confidant and I appreciate you. But before you're able to sit at the table and read the paper. Yeah. Shut up.

Shut up. Suck it. And take a walk. You can't walk? Okay. Take a long roll off a short pier, okay? Thanks, Edward. You've inspired us.

I'd like to thank a horse head from London. And if this name's real, it's the best one ever. Hannah O'Blivion. Oh, Hannah O'Blivion. O'Blivion. That is Hannah O'Blivion. O'Blivion. That is so good. Hannah, that's amazing. That can't be.

I'm going to need to see a birth certificate. That's good stuff. Go get it. Hand it over. Hand it over. Show us what you got. Hannah Oblivion. What about Livian in Oblivion?

Fuck yes. You're on fire today, Dave. I'm really struggling with my own game, but you're nailing it. Yeah, yeah. I'm really struggling with my own game, but you're nailing it. Yeah, yeah. I'm doing my own thing at this end of the table. Autobiographer. It might sound like the Matt Smuck's gone out of sync, but he is still talking to us.

It's just going solo. I'm recording my own podcast. What do you think? Autobiographer. I think that was the thing on the Brown album. There was one track. He was on his own podcast. He also said, do you guys remember the Martin Molloy album?

And I said, no. And he just kept talking. There was one track that you could pan left or right and you either got a sketch by Tony Martin or a sketch by Mick Molloy, depending on which side. That's very fun. But you could put it in the middle and justoy, depending on which side. That's very fun. But you could put it in the middle and just hear both at the same time. That would have been difficult.

That would have been my option. When you're driving in the car and you're like, I can't change the stereo now. I've just got to keep this rolling. You'd love the second track on the album, Dave. Mick the Clown, bracket, no relation. You'd love a no relation. That's funny.

Not as much as Alison Trumbull-Birchall, though, bracket, no relation. You love a no relation. That's funny. Not as much as Alison Trumbull-Birchall, though, in his new show. Alison Trumbull-Birchall in Alison Trumbull-Birchall. No relation. No relation. Good stuff. Hannah Oblivion, you live in your best life. I can absolutely tell that. Thank you so much.

And finally, I would like to thank from Wallasey. Wallasey in Great Britain. It is Eleanor Lacey Sloan. Three good names. E-L-S. That sounds like a character in a Poirot book. Eleanor Lacey Sloan. Three good names. That sounds like a character in a pyro book. Eleanor Lacey Sloan. Yeah. Mark Sloan.

Sloan? Is that the name of Diagnosis Murder? Yeah, Mark Sloan. Dick Van Dyke. Can you work that in somehow? Can you work in Barry Van Dyke? Our classic game has been turned into a book by Eleanor Lacey Sloan. Fuck, marry, kill.

A.K.A. Dick Barry Shane. Dick Van Dyke's the grandfather, Barry's his son, and Shane is Barry's son. So it's a game, but it's now played over. There's 11,000 pages worth of different scenarios. Who is she, Dick Barry and Shane? And it comes now played over. There's 11,000 pages worth of different scenarios. Who is she, Dick, Barry and Shane? And it comes with a pen and you get to fill it all in.

Oh, like a Sudoku book. Yeah. Most Sudoku books don't come with a pen. Wow. That's a little bit of extra added value. Wow. That's yours to do with what you want in that pen. Yeah.

Thank you so much to Eleanor, Hannah, Edward, Anya Anthony, James, Olga, John and Katie And the last thing we need to do Is welcome a few people into the Triptych Club Three inductees this week Now if you don't know People who've been on the shout out level or above For three straight years Get inducted into this famous club

Yeah It's a theatre of the mind thing I'm standing at the door. I've got a velvet rope. I'm about to lift it as I read out these three names off my clipboard. Jess is inside behind the bar. Don't we got a cocktail going? Yeah.

What's the name of this episode, Dave? I think I'm going to call it the 1951 Ponce San Esprit Mass Poisoning. Okay. The embarrassing part is, and much like Dave doesn't book these, the bands ahead of time, sometimes these are themed, sometimes it's a coincidence.

I've been doing a bread making course because I thought it would be nice for us to still have some nice crusty bread. Yeah, I'd love that. So I've made quite a lot of bread, like too much. It's enough for everybody, but then like- Then more.

Yeah. Something to take home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but they can't leave. So it's a lot of bread. Oh, no. And I am worried that after this episode, they're going to be hesitant about the bread. Come on, it wasn't the bread. And great fresh bread also, it doesn't last well, does it?

Well, that's why I need everybody to eat up. Yeah. You have your fill. But, you know, I was like, you're going to have something with the bread. So, I have put on soup again. But once again, it is far too hot. Oh, no. Yes.

So, I'm not having a good day. It's just not cooling? It just won't. It just won't cool. How long have you been leaving it to cool? Is the lid off? What? You can take the lid off to help.

What do you mean? That will speed up the cooling process. I've left it on the stove and the boiler going. That could be part of the... Turn the stove off. No! This is the last time. Did you leave the stove on as well of course i thought

it was just some sort of a freak soup that couldn't cool down don't call my son a freak soup anyway a bit of fun eat up and dave you normally book a band? Yes, I've actually booked in Real Big Fish. Oh, getting horny. Yeah, getting a little bit horny. They're a scat band, I believe. Is that right, Jess? Scat? Yes.

Not scar. Let's sell out tonight. With me? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All right, fantastic. What are they going to play? Their full greatest hits?

Yeah, absolutely. They've got now one, two, three, four. That song about beer? Ten albums, yeah. Going to have myself a beer. Going to do that A-ha cover? Take on me. All the best.

Yeah. That's great. Beer Goggles, is that one? No, that's Lagwagon. Anyway, good stuff. Real big fish. They'll be covering Lagwagon's Beer's beer goggles as well, I've heard. Yeah.

So just three inductees this week. Dave's up on the stage. Now, he's the emcee. He's hyping up the crowd. Everyone who's already been inducted is there chanting along, ready to welcome these three people in. If you hear your name, run on in and just soak it up. Jess is also there to um keep dave

spirits up as well so here we go are you ready i'm absolutely pumped first up from address unknown it's arvind hill arvind hill they said stop that person i said i won't come on in as in I won't I won't Fuck he's good Yeah Also from Edgbaston The famous cricket ground In Birmingham in England It's Jess Perrin

Jess Perrin Who is just two letters away From Jess Perkin Come on down my My new favourite Jess Get fucked My new favourite Jess P-E-R.

That's bullshit. And finally. You're supposed to support this. Well, I don't support that one. Finally, from Wabash in India. That's fucked. Anna, Indian Anna in the United States. It's Kevin Haggerty.

More like Heaven Caggerty. I'm in Heaven Caggerty. Welcome in, Kevin, Jess, and Avant. Make yourselves at home. Grab some soup. Oh, no? You believe you're not the boil? Well, Jess can.

Get rid of that other Jess. That brings us to the end of the episode, Bob. Is there anything we need to tell people before we go? That they can suggest a topic over on dogoonpod.com. There's also a link in our show notes. You can find all of our social media at dogo1pod.com. There's also a link in our show notes. You can find all of our social media at dogo1 across Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. I think there's a TikTok, but, you know, we're old.

And that we love them. That's the other thing. That's for me as well. Dave, better time. Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week with another cracking episode. But until then, I'll thank you. Say something.

I thank you. I thank you. And goodbye. Later. Bye. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats.

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