Do Go On - 381 - Indiana Jones

Episode Date: February 8, 2023

This week we are joined by our pal Marcel Blanche-de Wilt to tell us all about the world's most famous archeologist, Indiana Jones! How did the films come about, and what is the future of the franchise?This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 00:13:00 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our new merch! : https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/Stream our 300th episode with extra quiz (and 16 other episodes with bonus content): https://sospresents.com/authors/dogoon Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Ornicki. And as always, I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello.

Hey, Dave, how good is it to be alive? I'm loving life and I'm loving you both. It's so good to be in your presence once again. Thank you so much. Is there another person you're loving being in their presence right now? Not today, I'm afraid. Oh, hang on. I didn't look in my periphery.

Who is that over there? Joining us this week, a very special guest returning to the podcast. and finally we get to pod together. It's Marcel Blanche de Wilde! Yeah! I have returned. I have returned. Mission Impossible.

One of your longest episodes ever. But then I think I was, I think weeks later I was usurped. Yeah, like two weeks later. Whatever so was that again. That was Princess died. And then the New York to Paris races, I think it's now the longest ever, maybe.

So Dave went overseas. Yeah. And Matt and I had some guests come in and we realized that Dave serves much more of a purpose than just the footstool we use him as. And he really keeps the ball rolling because Matt and I just let it, it just kept going. Yeah.

Do you guys not have enough going on in your lives that you like have? Why don't you book more appointments post episode? Yeah, you're right. We need hard deadlines or Matt and I will just go forever. Yeah, we just love chatting. We love hanging out with people. I think that is the thing because we've got to go at a certain time today and it's my fault.

How many roast dinners are your partners throwing out when you get home. So many. That's unrelated. He's just really, it's just a hobby of his. They're waiting until, you know, you're there so they can scrape it into the bin with a knife. Yeah. Putting out the candle.

They see the car into the driveway and like, okay, here they come. I always thought it was the strangest phenomenon of movies and TV shows where they do that moment. They're like, oh, well, it was cold. And then they're just scraping it into the bin. It'll keep. There's no meal. Yeah. If it's a little bit cold, it's like, well, that's useless.

Pop it in the oven. You knew for a while that they weren't coming home. Why are you serving dinner if they're not here yet? Can I just say if a full roast is going in the bin, I'm getting in the bin. I love a rose. I'm not missing out. Get in that bin. Get in that bin.

No, no way. So, Marcel, you're on a bit of a, let's just say this, a podcast jaunt, a bit of a media tour. I love a jaunt. I love a tour. I mean, what can you do in this fast-paced publicity world, but do the local pods when you're trying to sell your Melbourne Comedy Festival show. I love it. It's a great.

It's the new way. It's the new way. So you are doing a show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, which we all are, and we can talk about them now. Festival, myself. Yes, it's called the newlyweds. It's an improv show to two of us, me and my wife, we are not newlyweds, but it was the first draft name.

Like many first draft names, you go, well, that's going to stick around. You were newlyweds at one point. We were newlyweds at one point, exactly. We do a show, and it's completely improvised. We get a couple of suggestions. You guys have seen it. Matt hasn't seen him. I loved it.

I haven't seen it. Is this the show, Dave, that you talked about someone kept walking in on it? Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty amazing. He really made the show. There was, yeah,

someone who walked in three times into the room, then fell asleep and then got startled and left. And they weren't part of it. A drunk guy who wasn't even a friend of ours or a fan of improv, he just wanded into the venue and... Was the audience thinking, there would have been people in the audience thinking, this is part of the show.

It's so strange what people think is a plant. Oh, someone heck with you in that audience and called you a fuckhead. Did you tell that guy to do that ahead of time? Was that your dad? You're like, oh, God, why would I plan that sort of thing? Yeah. But we addressed it, which is the beauty of improv,

and like he ended up coming in at the end of like the most perfect time to wrap up the show. We almost should have paid him something. Yeah. Get that guy back. Get him on the payroll. That was incredible. He was also sitting sideways at one point. And he came back in like 48.

minutes into the show, sat down with his chair facing a different direction to everybody else, and immediately just got out his phone. What was so great about when he first came in, he was like, oh, no thank you, and walked out. And I'm like, that's fine. You want to have an audience member who decides they're not into it. Absolutely. I will show myself out.

But then you don't expect to see that person again. Two more times. And empty seat is better than someone hating the show. Exactly, exactly. Which is why you don't just fly at anyone on the street. If I could have Do Go On listeners in the newlyweds audience, I'd be thrilled. Yeah. And where will they be turning up and on what dates to see this show?

Don't quiz me on dates, all right? It's still too early. Sometime in April. Yeah, it's the first 10 days of the Comedy Festival at Storyville. We're doing 10 shows only. And the beauty of long form improv. What we're doing, like, we're not theatre sports. Okay, we're doing long form, which is essentially, we get a couple of suggestions

and we do a long play. It's comedic. Me and my wife play multiple characters. It's real stupid. What are you doing the harrow? It's real fun. It's not a harold, but I'm impressed that you drop in lingo, okay? Because I did go to Chicago to study the harold.

I did two units of Chicago style. It shows. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. I just felt uncomfortable the whole time. You know, when I listen to episodes that do go on, I'm like, oh, I can hear the Chicago style. That deep dish is coming through the cans. A little bit of wind coming through.

How do you feel about the deep dish? I've never been to Chicago. You could have a deep dish at home. Yeah, it sounds more like a keesh almost, but I think I'm happy with just normal dish, but I, you know, until I try it, I can't. Do you ever go into a pizza shop and say, I'll have normal dish pizza please? Yeah, yeah, I just normal dish, thanks. Hey, sorry, I'm from Chicago. Is this the Harold?

Yeah, I think we're in a Harold. Is you doing it now? That's the thing they do. That is sweeping the, I'm sweeping it. What does that mean? It's an edit. Someone who's off stage or walk, they'll just decide, we've had enough of this and I'll just walk across. cross the screen.

Oh, it's going to gong you. And that's it. They just have to start a new thing. Yeah. Love it. There you go. And who's Harold? Uh, I think it was just a name pulled out of here.

Oh, okay. This is, this is, this report. Today's report is not going to be about a Harold. You've got to come back one day and tell the story of that guy who came up with a Harold. What's his name? Um, gosh. I was, I can see it.

I can see it. I can't remember if Harold is directly attributed to him. But he's one of like the big godfathers of, of improv. Um, but also a twist. a twisted and not great guy. Really? A guy in improv. The godfather of being a creepy guy in improv.

I wouldn't have seen that coming. They're all improv people I've met really great. Hey, I'm one of the improv people you've met. I think if you actually rewind the tape, you'd hear that what I said was, all improv people I've met are great. Oh, sorry, my apologies. Sweep at it.

I've looked it up, Marcel, just quickly. Your episode was 3 hours and 49 minutes. which is longer the Princess Dynamo was three hours 23, but you were just pipped by the 1908 New York to Paris Motor Race 3 hours 54 minutes. Wow. Wow. Well, I think it's unfair as well that Dave, like I almost feel like this is against me that you have an appointment

and now I can't even attempt to beat the record. Sorry, but I cannot sit still for four hours. Well, I mean, we're doing a good job because we haven't even got close to the topic yet. Okay. What if I just keep going and you guys are fine with us? Or I send you the rest of the episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. We'll just tell you how to turn off the mics.

It's just me from my bedroom, though with the rest of the episode. Let's explain how the show works and then let's get into it. Okay, so what we do here, Marcel is, which I know you're aware of, we take it in terms of a report on a topic, often suggested to us by one of the listeners, go away, do a little bit of research, bring it back to the group? And you've brought us a guest report this week, which we were stoked about. I have. And we usually start with a question. Do you have a question to get us on the topic? I do.

It's a little game called Name. this theme tune. Oh, wow. Yep, I'm going to use the art of a cappella to pretend I'm instruments. This is the first album, I love it. No one's done Name this theme tune before? No.

Not for the Princess Die episode. That's her theme tune, all right. All right, name this theme tune. Okay. Bam-ba-bum-bum, bum-bab-bum. Um, bum-pab-bum. Indiana Jones. Wait, Matt, still going.

Hang on, I got this. Wheel of Fortune. My report is all about the Wheel of Fortune. Did Birdjo have something to do with Will of Fortune? Yeah, posting it counts. I thought he was catchphrase. Yeah, as well. People can have two jobs.

He's a millennial, okay? Not in my world. Is it Indiana Jones? Indiana Jones. Some of my favorite old-time movies. That's going to be my first question. What you haven't seen in the Indiana Jones movies? You're too busy living them.

Yeah. Being dusted off by an archaeologist. That's right. Fedora wearing I'm going around being insensitive to other cultures. Oh, I'm not saying you are in New Jersey. I'm saying you're one of the relics that he might find. You're an old. You're old.

And I'm being that to that myself. And dust it off is a sex thing, yeah? Yeah. Harrison Ford. It's dusting my dick for prints. All he found is his own. I've had a look in our suggestions. Aaron Wolf has suggested Indiana Jones,

the reasoning being they are great movies. Aaron ain't wrong. Other than that, people have suggested they've used it as like Indiana Jones as an example. Like, oh, it's the female Indiana Jones or the real life Indiana Jones. But it looks like he might be the only person who's just suggested the movies of Indiana Jones. Who did credit the real-life Indiana Jones that might come up? There's a few. It's a couple of different names that have come up by the looks of it.

Yeah, right. I wondered if you've done any of the real-life ones. I have one up for a vote recently, but when I was looking for them there, I reckon there's eight or nine different real-life Indiana Jones there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't believe you haven't seen any of the pictures. I started watching the first one once because Andy Matthews loves them there, his favorite films, and yeah, I fell asleep.

Really? Famously one of the best opening action sequences, ever. Yeah, I think I was tired. I was working a real job back. Something about rolling boulders just puts you right to sleep. That's that. I want to do them,

I want to do the whole series for primates at one point because there's monkeys in most of them, I think. That's going to come up as well. Also, well, this is exciting. You're not going to tell the stories, are you? Have you heard of a brazier recap? Oh, no. Jess, have you seen them?

We didn't ask you. I've seen, I think I've recently watched the first one. But I don't think I've seen, others beyond that. Do you think I'll enjoy them after them being spoiled today? I, the recaps will be, you know, I've taken the wikipedias and I've made it put it into my own words and I've thrown in some things. So this whole thing isn't going to be a recap. So I'm going to give you a bit of everything. We're going to get a sense of like how the movie came to be, the film series, a little bit about what happened in them.

The film? Or do they make a Will of Fortune film? Who is this guy? Only two units of Chicago-style improv. That's what happens. That's what happens to someone. Yeah, he's improv once about Will a fortune and he can't escape it. He's go-toe every time. He's stuck in the bit.

One time I remember, like, I often got good laughs, but I never knew what I was doing, and I was just always feeling like I was panicking. I remember one time someone's like, hey, something really awkward, like, hey, what do you do? I'm a, I'm a swashbuckler. I'm swashbuckling. And I get in the laugh from this right now. But I'm laughing at him. Yeah, yeah.

I think it was always just like, oh, it's funny because he's bad at this. I find somebody getting very flustered and yelling a random word quite funny. Swashbuckler. So I will say, I'm excited that we have a ticking clock today. This is good. This is going to be good. Would it be more appropriate for the Mission Impossible episode. This is true.

This is true. But hey. We've got to stop saying that because there are people out there who think we rush through topics because we're pressed for time. That's not really what's going to happen. You just have a report that's going for the amount of time we've got, which is over two hours. This is true. But the room is slowly filling with water. We should mention that.

You should mention that. Is that rude as a guest to mention that? Yeah, it's an audio medium for a reason, Marcel. If we wanted to make it smell a vision, we do that. Is that how you feel water? My socks are soggy right now, is what I'm saying. And I just feel... You're welcome.

That can be nice and cool on this hot day. Let's talk about the theme because I just, you know, I sung you the theme. I think perfectly pitch perfect. I knew it straight away. Yeah. It's an iconic theme. I, if you go to the Blue Mountains and you go down, if you go to Scenic World and the Blue Mountains and you go down their little roller coastery

thing in New South Wales, they play the Indiana Jones theme as you go and down. Wow. It's about 15 seconds long, so it's not very epic, but it's kind of fun. I imagine they've bought the rights to that. I don't know if they have. That's why they keep it 15 seconds. Yeah. But it feels so epic. You start going down and you're like, oh, great, I'm going down this little roller coaster down the hill and then it abruptly stops.

As they're going down, though, you know, there's a Weidel Yankevich style parody. So, you know, that's okay. We can get passed on the parody law for copyright. Jim Deanna Jones, yeah. We're reviewing it on the way down. It's okay. We're just using this for review. We always give our opinion on the piece.

It's composed by John Williams. And I found this out about John Williams. He has been nominated different. That's John Williamson, I believe. Sorry. He's not famous for composing for Stephen Spielberg. John Williams has been nominated for. Anyone want to guess how many Oscars he's been nominated for?

12. 52. What? You said 12. You look like such an idiot. And how many for John Williamson? I don't have that. Okay.

What is that? What's that emu one he does? Then he's got... True blue. True emu. True. So that's he got. Fifty-two?

But to make you feel better about your achievements in life, he's only won five of them. Only five. Suck it, John. Is this Williamson or Williams? Rip-Rip wood chip? That probably won something. It's a big one.

It's a big one. But 50, that is incredible. That's amazing. Rip, rip wood chip, turn it in the paper. It's an incredible song. Did John Williams win any for Indiana Jones? I will reveal that at the end because I didn't have the information. Oh my God.

I was just one. I mean that, because that theme song is so iconic. Sometimes stuff that wins like, you know, best original song, whatever. We'll never think about that again. But Indiana Jones, I'm thinking about that weekly. Yeah, they don't have most iconic song at the office. He also did the Jaws one, did he? That's like, on him.

And the Star Wars ones? The man's done a few rippers. The man's done a few. It's true. Rip wood ship, turn it in the paper. He could probably get his own report himself. Yeah, so I love Indiana Jones. I was someone who watched the third one a lot,

because that was the one that was on TV. It was sort of the same with like Back to the Future movies. Channel 10 was showing the second and third one a lot more than the first one. So I watched these backwards. Yeah. So always love the third one. It's so good. But we're going to start with the first.

Our story begins in a little island that Jess Perkins will be familiar with Hawaii. Oh, my God. A cluster of islands. All right. Don't Hawaii spain me. It's an acapellago, mate. My God. So the year is 1977, and this is from an article by Steve Pond published in the Washington Post.

Spielberg says, we were sitting on the beach in Hawaii building sandcastles. Did you know that's what filmmakers, they'd like to build sandcastle apparently? All of them. The story goes that George Lucas wanted some company in Hawaii as he was very nervous about how his new movie Star Wars was going to do at the box office. So we went to a nightclub on the prowl. George Lucas on the brow With that weird little beard They all have them

Those directors love a little beard So he in like his mate No you know George Lucas I thought you said Spielberg Well both They're both involved They're both got similarly small No his isn't as small

I don't mention their beards Don't come up in this place Is that bad? Have I not been thorough enough? You haven't been So Spielberg and Lucas Are talking about future projects Spielberg had recently bombed

At the box office With a movie called 1941. Has anyone seen? No. A good year though. A good year. What were you doing in 1941? I was probably dodging the draft. Being a coward, receiving many white feathers. I look like a bloody chicken. Which I guess is that, really, isn't it? So, Spilberg was wanting to do a James Bond movie and he had been asking, and I know you guys love names. You love a good name on this on this podcast and he was talking to who was in charge of the the bond films at the time cubby broccoli.

Cubby other broccoli of course. You like cubby. Cubby broccoli. I don't know there was a cubby broccoli. That's great. So he wanted to do a Bond movie. But then Lucas is like, hey, I've got this other idea. What about you come and do a movie that I've dreamed up called Raiders of the Lost Ark?

We started a tradition of building lucky sandcastle, Spilbert. So he used to build sandcastle in Hawaii, and if the sandcastle withstood the first high tide, the film was a hit. If the high tide overran the sandcastle, we were going to have to struggle to make our money back. That was our superstition and that was our tradition. So did they just cancel movies if they fell over? Sorry, Titanic. There he is, the greatest filmmaker of Ultim. Basing whether he publishes the movie on the sand castle.

Yeah, it's bizarre. So George Lucas said, if I retire, it's yours. Like, if Star Wars is a hit and I don't need to direct other movies, then he's going to give it, he's going to give Raiders to Spielberg. Wow, so George Lucas did, like he was only doing, he was only directing as a means to make cash. Yeah, I learn more about, well, he just wasn't really into directing. He loved producing, I think he liked farming out his ideas to other people.

He just like building sandcastles. You can't make money doing that. He had to do something. So at this time, Raiders was simply a Lucas and Phil Kaufman outline, who's another director and writer, for a story about archaeologist Indiana Smith. That was the first draft name.

It's funny because we'd probably be laughing if it was Indiana Smith, and right now the draft was Jones, but it just sounds wrong. Like, do you think you could live in a world where it was Indiana Smith? Aqua has a hit song called Dr. Smith, Dr. Smith, calling Dr. Smith.

But they don't really rhyme it, do they? Where are you? I thought that song was about Dr. Jones, I presume. What's that thing? Dr. Livingston. Livingston. How stupid is that?

I always thought that was referencing something that's not even the name. Well, mispronounced Livingston. Oh, well, Dr. Jones. So that song's about Indiana Jones. That's so funny. Yeah, the film clip is all Indiana Jonesy. Right. Yeah.

The clue is. Sorry, I'm thinking of Barbie girl. So Indiana Smith was later vetoed because it sounded too much like a Western character named Nevada Smith. I've never seen any of those Nevada Smith movies. I like it. So for five days, Spilberg, Lucas and screenwriter Larry Kasden hold up in Lucas's secretary's house near Los Angeles and shouted ideas at each other. Oh, the secretary was like, yeah, sure, I can make some room.

Sure thing, I've got kids. Yeah, I'll get the Lalo's out, put them on the land room floor, I guess. Can you boys keep it down, please? It's 3 a.m. Three grown men can yell in my house. Get at a hotel. And like she would just be hearing weird stuff about this archaeologist. Jones, Smith, Smith, Jones.

Big boulders, bigger boulders. Two of the most common names, right? Yeah, but then you get an interesting first name like Indiana. Yeah, you can't have two crazy names. It's sort of strange that you don't meet many Indiana. It's a lot of Indies, I guess. It's a popular girl's name to be indie, but it didn't take off. Yeah, I always assumed that it was his nickname based on where he was from,

but that's just his first name. Oh, it's going to come up. Oh, yeah. Okay. He's doing a lot of eyebrow here. What are you? She's mill-housing those brows. Oh, you think he's from Indiana, do you?

This guy. Hey, Warnocky. Well, those eyebrows. And the other one. So they said that, like, they were making it up as they went along. But then, like, Lucas. And Lucas always has a different version of events in all the accounts that I read in the behind-the-scenes stuff.

He seems to be the... I'm trying to put this nicely. Is this about his small beard? He seems to have shit ideas. And then the rest of the... creative team make them good. Don't feel bad. I don't think he's listening to this podcast.

The guy they thought of Stahorse and Indiana Jones has pretty shit ideas. Well, he's got, I think he's an ideas man, but then he needs someone to make sure what ideas are taken on and what ideas are sort of moving to the side. Needs a little quality control. Every partnership needs that, right? You need someone generating the ideas. Yeah. Who do you think the George Lucas of this podcast is?

Well, I've got the smallest beard. I would argue I have the smallest beard. Aidan's pretty big We don't want to answer that Because nobody wants to admit our ideas are shit That's probably me I mean, let's be honest I generate a lot of ideas

And I always come to them Go on, I think I've got a really good idea And I'm starting to think I won't go in with that much confidence anymore It'd be more like, you know, just going, Eh? Because sometimes they're like, fantastic This is great, we'll do that

And sometimes like, Have you thought? about the consequence of this? And I say, not really. And that's what you need. You need a consequence person. So, I've got two of them. Lucas says, it just took me five days. Like, he said, the story was already laid out. It just took me five days to tell it to those guys. Because every time I started explaining a scene, they'd pipe up and say,

no, no, no, it's not going to work. Let's do this. But you haven't even heard where it's got. You need to hear the whole thing first. And then they go, all right, breakdown. Seen one. I didn't think it worked because of this. but like they're like he's like in the beginning no no no no no no no no no no no I think we do one of those but how did I get here since but you don't even know who I'm talking about you're probably wondering how I got here well yeah and that's how it starts yeah yeah you've nailed it well actually what might you've never you've never seen it one Matt no yeah what's your best guess it like I mean you've started watching the first one what's but what's your best guess

about what these are all about I imagine they're kind of like the mummy but set somewhere else. Is it set in South America? That's actually how it was pitched. Yeah, yeah. It's like it's before the mommy though, isn't it? But it's vaguely like that sort of thing. They're going into other countries and taking stuff.

Mm-hmm. But they're the heroes. Yeah. I guess it's pretty much nailed it. You should be pitching movies. Yeah. All right. What do you got?

All right. To you. You should listen to my podcast, who knew with Matt Stewart, because each week I'll write a couple of fake synopsises for movies. So I've got a bunch up my sleeve. I have listened. Normally, the characters learn a little bit about themselves along the way. My favorite genre.

My favorite genre of film. George Lucas from a 1981 New York Times article written by Janet Maslin, he says, With both Star Wars and Raiders, I started out by asking myself, gee, when I was a kid, what did I really like? Mr. Lucas recently explained. He liked the daring do of the serials and the unbeatable courage of their characters, not to mention the 30s settings. practically every movie star of the 30s has one movie like this, be it Alan Ladd or Clark Gable or whoever, playing a soldier of fortune in a leather jacket and that kind of hat,

Mr Lucas said. No, that kind of hat. You know, that kind of hat. That's the pitch and then Larry Kasten's like, no, no, no, not that kind of hat. So his idea is like, you know, one of those movies that has been made already. Yeah, which I think is interesting as well how Hollywood has that reputation these days have been,

oh, they just keep doing this. from the past. They've been doing that forever. Forever. Yeah, like King Kong movies are remade every couple of decades. Exactly. But I think it's just so funny that, oh, these days, there's no new ideas. There's never been new ideas.

So there really is just limited stories to tell. When that plane, when that train arrived at the station, they were like, what else can we do with that train? Let's rob the train. They did that. You know, they're robbed other things. Yeah, it's just nostalgia does funny things, right? because the same people who are going, everyone's rehashing movies now.

I want to make movies like when I was a kid. Yeah, yeah. You know, rehashing movie ideas. But also, if you do go a couple of decades further back then, it does feel fresher. Like there was one decade back.

I love that kind of movie, that sort of golden age, if that's what it is, where it is like a mummy or whatever. You know, I do enjoy those kind of movies. And I'm, you know,

I'm nostalgic because of the mummy, not realizing that it was nostalgic because of the movie makers we're probably thinking about Indiana Jones, who we're thinking about decades before that. And yet you've somehow avoided watching them this whole time. You've been busy. Well, it's interesting, isn't it?

I guess I would probably like them, right? I avoided watching, and sometimes it just hasn't come up. If someone asks to watch a movie, I'll watch it with them. You will. What are you doing after this? I've got nothing on. I'm keen to watch some. But I've been sort of saving them for primates episodes because of the monkeys.

Yeah, great. What was that Tom Cruise plane movie? Plain movie? Top Gun, yes. So I hadn't seen that, you know, I never saw that until about five years ago. And one of my best mates is like, it's his favorite movie, so good. And I end up watching, I'm like, oh, this kind of sucks. I think it was built up too much.

And I feel that maybe Indiana Jones will, the same thing will happen. Although I've heard the new Top Gun is awesome. So it might happen again. I'll go see that and like, huh, that suck too. The original Top Gun is not. But it's not very good, right? No. I mean, it's, you know, if you're lucky, like, I'm not having a go.

But for me, I was just like, oh, this, that's wild, this is iconic. How much hate mail is this episode going on? I'm sorry, Top Gun fans. Sorry. I love that you love it. I want to speak briefly about his iconic hat. It's a fedora. Okay, he's really, it's a fedora hat.

And I... Can you answer this? How does he make it look cool when a, It looks so bad on nerds. I think as Harrison Ford is wearing it, is an extremely handsome man. It's a particular style known as the poet, apparently. The poet. I think it's not always the same one that creeps are wearing.

Yeah. I didn't say creeps. I'll say it, creeps. Sometimes it creeps. At least one person is listening to this podcast with a neuron. I look very goofy. Well, wear those kind of hats occasionally and look very goofy. Are you a hat guy?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. More of a cap guy, I guess. I love a cap. Very sun-smart, man. You have to be with my complexion. So George Lucas talked about the idea of, like, he took serials characters and put them in, in space. And it was Star Wars.

And they was like, I'm just going to do that again. So let's talk a little bit about serials. They were inspired by episodic thrillers like, series called Spy Smasher, Tailspin Tommy and Commander Cody. None of those are real, but cool. Spy Smasher. Do you guys know what a series? is? Not really. It's just something that continues on, right?

This guy's, this guy, he knows. He knows. He knows. I'll give you a brief little overview because this is what inspired. Like a serial killer. Yeah. It's someone who does it in episodes. Yeah, every week, do the cliff hangar.

Will he's kill it again. So a serial film, film serial, movie serial, chapter play is a motion picture form popular during the first half of the 20th century consisting of a series of short subjects exhibited in consecutive order at one theater, generally advancing weekly until the series is completed. That's a very thorough explanation from Wikipedia just then. Is it got to anything to do with the word series? Serial?

I'm not Latin. How do this guy get the gig? I'm not Latin. I'm sorry, I'm not Latin and people are often accusing me of knowing the root words of whether it's old Greek or Latin. I think it's just that you wear glasses. People assume that comes with knowledge of etymology of words. We assume you know Latin and you have a fedora at home.

Thank you for not calling out the fedora that I'm wearing right now. Well, you've got a spare one at home. And my bullwhip. So each chapter was screened at a movie theatre for one week and ended with a cliffhanger in which characters found themselves in perilous situations with little apparent chance of escape. Which I really liked those old days of the movies where they'd show you, you'd get a bunch of things. Because Lucas and Spielberg, they saw these in reruns. They weren't old enough to be watching them when they first came out in the

the 20s and 30s. But you'd go, you'd go see a Saturday afternoon, to go to the movies on a Saturday afternoon, you'd sit through two feature movies, 10 cartoons, previews, a newsreel, and two serials. But movies were shorter back then, right? I don't think they were.

So that's a long day. It costs you like a quarter of a nickel. Yeah, exactly. A quarter of a nickel. They'd pay you to go in there. They've got to have been shorter than today. Now they're bleeding out over three hours. They would have been like an hour and a half,

whatever. I guess so. I don't have the run times at hand. You don't have many answers today. It's a little bit later, but gone with the wind was so long. They had to have an interval. There's a lot of interval movies. West Side Story has an interval.

Yeah. I like an interval. People need to wee. And bladders back then were much smaller. Yeah, that's true. Inflation. But also the drinks. The drink sizes were smaller too.

Makes you think. Oh, yeah, that's true. Hang on. Do you think, yeah, which came first? The bladder expansion or the big gulps. The big gulps. I find it strange. that in movie cinemas in America,

like you can get like free refills? Who's getting up to? Yeah. I mean, for a free real film, Mark. They're also so big already. How do you get through one of those huge cups?

Exactly. I had a waitress bring me three pints of like diet coke. And I was like, I'm going to die. At once. Please stop. No, she kept just taking my almost empty glass and bring,

refilling it and bring it back. And I was like, oh, I can't drink it. You kept drinking and you're like, I don't want to be rude. I had two. And then by the time the third one came, I was like, oh no. You'd have been caffeineing off your head.

What are you okay? I was okay. It was also the time I ate a pretzel that was bigger than my head. It was a good day. Keep refilling the bristle. It was a Dave and Busters. I got to play guitar hero all night. It's actually one of the best days of my life.

Where was this magical land? It was Dave and Busters. You've got to get to a Dave and Busters at some point in your life. And what? Whereabouts would this be? Was your 10th birthday or something? No, this is six months ago. Oh, is this in Hawaii?

This is in Hawaii. Wow. Dave and Bust is just like a chain. It's a sports bar. Slash Arcade. Dave and Busters. Did you happen to see some sandcastles upon a beach representing the success of a film? And they were still standing.

Wow. It's going to be a good episode. They ended up filming Jurassic Park there as well. And that's another Spielberg. This is true. He's probably loves that place. Yep. He loves.

I mean, I guess if you had an excuse to, hey, where should we film maybe Hawaii, we get to stay on a beach and a beautiful hotel. Kualoa Ranch is where it was. You just start riding films around Hawaii. Yeah. Beach scenes. Yeah, beach movies. Like the beach. The beach.

Thailand. Yeah. What a guy. Is it how long in the movie is that revealed? Oh, well, there's a beautiful, like, moment where, like, this guy sneaks up on a sort of shadowy figure with a gun. And you're like, oh, this guy's got the drop on him. And then there's a crack of a whip and the gun flies out of this guy's hand. And who steps out of the shadows? But Harrison Ford. Whoa. Is he the titular Raider of the Lost Ark, I wonder? Thought Dave Wornikey watching the movie.

Yeah. I had it on video. Oh. It was one of two videos that were at my grandparents' house. It was this one. Raiders the Lost Ark and the other one was the Five Doctors, the Doctor Who movie that they made in the 80s. Ah.

Is that any good? Loved it. I haven't watched it in a long time, but that were the two. And that eventually we inherited the tapes and that'd be my go-to sick home from school videos, Watch them over and over and over. You're at Raiders and the Five Doctors.

Yeah. A double feature. And how much would you say that those two movies comprise your current personality? About 98%. Wow. That's a big percentage. Did it explain a lot? We're a fedora and also a very long scarf.

He's a weird guy. You're sweating right now. He's one of those creeps I was talking about earlier. Take the scarf up. No. It's good enough for Tom Baker. It's good enough for me. So the casting of Indiana Jones.

This is from Empire. The casting of Indiana Jones is one of Hollywood's great folk tales. Spoiler alert, it's not really. Spielberg suggested Harrison Ford to George Lucas after a countrywide search for an unknown. So they wanted to get an unknown. Like George Lucas wanted to get an unknown, but Spielberg is like, hey, what if we got Harrison Ford? He was already good at Han Solo. Yeah, but George Lucas was like, let's not get Harrison Ford.

Because Harrison Ford wasn't on pretty much. Yeah, he was a carpenter, I believe was working on George Lucas's. Carlinter. Oh yeah. He had some wacky ideas. Yeah, there's a few wacky ideas, but he also made it on the big stage eventually. His name was Carson Henderson. Wow.

I went on down, yeah. It was a community TV show, but about home renovations, yeah. It sounds good. He should get a report. But I just like the idea of like them going, they should get a Harrison Ford type, but not Harrison Ford. And then eventually, like, they auditioned other people. A few of them with Tim Matheson, Peter Coyote, which is a great name. That would get you in the door, right?

That would get you in the door as being called Peter Coyote. That's his actual name? Yeah. And Tom Selleck. Tom Selleck was almost Indiana Jones. I can kind of say it. I can say that. Which, like, some people sort of joked about as like, oh, imagine.

Imagine Tom Selleck being Indiana Jones if, you know, big mustache or whatever. But you watch, he almost got the role. There's audition videos out there. It's quite good. Yeah, it's so funny. Can you imagine? another leading man getting this leading man role? But he never got to the heights of Harrison Ford.

But he would have if he got this part, you'd think. I think so. But then who would have played Monica's boyfriend in France? Not Harrison Ford. Indiana. Yeah, would Harrison Ford have come in there and been Monica's boyfriend? I don't think so. I don't think he has the warmth required for that role of Richard.

And then Chandler's there having to be jealous about Harrison Ford dating Monica. Anyway, a different year. We can only. Harrison Ford is on a new TV show coming out on shrinking, I believe it's called. Yeah. It doesn't. Yeah, it looks okay. Apparently it's getting good reviews. I'm a little sad of that. I'm tired of that genre where it's like sad but funny sort of thing. I think it's a setup in that show is Jason Siegel has lost his wife and he's a therapist who's tired of being a therapist.

So it's that sort of sad but funny thing. And he starts telling it like it is. Yeah. You could lose your job, man. I saw the preview. Yeah. Something like that. Harrison Ford's like, you're going to take me down with you? Only you didn't say with that kind of emotion.

What's your Harrison Ford like? I mean, it's as good as anything else. Man of a thousand voices. Well, I'm a man of a thousand noises. I don't normally do voices, but I can give it a try.

Give me a line. What about you could lose your job, man. You could lose your job, man. That's pretty good. Honestly, that's possible. Absolutely. Hold about this.

it's from the future. One of my favorite Harrison Ford movies, what about I didn't kill my wife? Does he sort of exclaim it or is it under? He's a load. Yeah, he exclaims it to Tomily Joan. This is before he jumps off the day. I didn't kill my wife.

That's pretty good. I don't care. I don't care. Yeah, so good. That is, that's great. Yeah, man of a thousand voices. Bloody hell. Hey, yeah.

Number 99 is just Harrison Ford. So, Tom Selleck got cast as Magnum P.I. So he couldn't do both. Exactly. And that was huge. Let's not ride off Tom Selleck completely. It's not like he's an unknown like Peter Coyote.

Sorry, Pete. Sorry, what was his film he did? Magnum P.I. The TV series. And then he went on to three men and a baby. Don't forget. Exactly. Did Harrison Ford get a three men and a baby?

I don't think he did. Is he one of the other men? He was one of the three men. And the baby. He played both roles. God, he's good. He got to work with Ted Danson. Ted Danson and Kevin Klein, I think, was it?

No, it was Kevin Klein. It was the other guy. People are yelling at their iPads. Is it the Who's the boss guy or Tony Danza? No, it wasn't Tony Dancer. Fuck. Can we change the reoccurring joke to yelling at your iPads? Yeah, yeah.

So we've got some real geriatric listeners. Three men and a baby. Oh, yeah, it's the guy from police academy. Right. Michael Winslow. No. Steve Gutenberg. Steve Gutenberg.

The Goot. Yeah. Right. But Marcel, please do go on about Harrison Ford. Steve Gutenberg. A star. We do. Great to his reference.

So then Harrison Ford was cast. They were, all right, we can't get Tom Selleck. Let's get Harrison Ford. They probably spent a lot of time not getting Harrison Ford to just go back around and get Harrison Ford. And that is referred to as Hollywood's great fuck tales. It's not very good. It's a great. tale of Hollywood.

Isn't it just? Yeah. When you're in a bubble like Hollywood is, they start to believe their own hype. Yeah. What a story. That a storytelling industry like that would know the difference between quite a dull anecdote and a great tale. They wanted to get another guy.

They couldn't. They got the guy. Wow. Whoa. Should we make this a film? Its own movie. I wanted to bring up a thing called the Indiana Jones test as we sort of go through the movies. an excruciating detail.

No, we'll go through the movies. Enough detail that Matt can still enjoy watching them later. I will be blocking my ears. I did watch Mission Impossible after you did. You messaged me and said you watched number three. Have you watched any of the other ones? Because they get rompier as they go. Oh, I think we must have watched another one.

Ghost Protocol? Yeah, I think I watched that. The climb in the building one? Yeah. That's a certified romp. Yeah. Blue means goo. Green means.

Blue means glue. You fall. Blue means glue. Redmay's dead He's sticking to the wall That's right Yeah So if he said blue means goo

That would have been strange Instruction Well what's goo Sticky What's sticky Blue It's long way around But you get there

Jeremy Redder Thoughts were thinking of you He was in that In that snow plough Incident Anyway I'm distracted now Thinking about

Jeremy Renner So this is called The Indiana Jones Test People have noticed that Indiana Jones is sort of superfluous in his own movies because the day sort of gets saved without his intervention in most of the movies. The villains sort of...

Implode. Defeat themselves. Right. I know they melt in one of them. They do melt in the first one. There's a lot of melting. Yeah, there's more than mine melting moment, yeah. But it's about the journey. Melting moment?

Oh, beautiful. Like the bickie? Yeah. They didn't listen to the rhyme. Blue means goo, guys. Those Nazis should have listened. So Raiders of the Last Dark doesn't feature India Jones's name in the title like the other ones do. So we don't get that fun thing that the serials do of tailspin Tommy and the Sky Bandits.

Or my other two favorites, tellspin Tommy, the weasel and his Skyway man. Or tailspin Tommy in the famous payroll mystery. Payroll mystery. Yeah. That's exciting. Yeah. Hey, how it was meant to get paid last week? Sorry about that.

bottle episode. It's a mystery. You go solid of it, Solvit, tailspin, tell me. Lauren's Kazden, or as they call him, Larry Kasden of Empire Strikes Back fame, was brought on to write Raiders, though he'd only been a professional screenwriter for all of one month.

That sounds about right. So you two out there can write the next Inyo Jones movie. Okay. Not like today's generation where they just expect to get jobs straight away. Back then, they worked for their careers in Hollywood. For what? Now they're just going TikTok and go, me a job. Back then, they would wait a month and then at their cousin's uncle, we'll go,

hey, do you want a gig writing for a blockbuster? Okay, I've paid my dues. You're always spitting truths on this thing. Yeah. The year is 1936. American archaeologist Indiana Jones recovers a golden idol from a booby-trapped Peruvian temple. So this is, this is booby. It's going to be a long episode. if you laugh at every booby along the way. How many boobies are you going to happen? He said it too.

Yeah, if they'd just mention the word booby a bit more. Matt wouldn't have fallen asleep already. Yeah. He's asleep at this point. Oh, this is in some sort of dreaming. I don't realize there's so many boobies, Dave. Did you have those weird pause things on the, on your VHS? Yeah, yeah, there was a lot of noise.

Yeah, some very messy moments. God. Messy, not a great word for you. On the screen. And off the screen. How many pauses in the five doctors? Blue means goo. Blue?

One for each doctor. Yeah, right. Yeah, fair enough. They'll know. They all have a moment. Who would you say is the sexiest doctor? Oh, John Pertway for sure. Great.

I'm like, I'd love to be involved in this, but I don't know who that is. My favorite actually is number two, Patrick Trouton, big fan. Yeah, okay. Big fan. So this, like, from the start of the moment, movie you've already got iconic moment. So like in the first five minutes you've got the big rolling ball that we all know, the sandbag replacing the idol. I'm trying to make sure he doesn't set off the trap and he replaces the idol with the sandbag. These things are still being spoofed to this day.

I think spoofed is the word. That too. Yeah, I mean, there's that classic one in the Simpsons where Bart steals the jar of change and Homer rolls down the stairs. That's right. Oh, I should also give a shout out to Alfred Molina who appears in this scene. They covered him with tarantulas. This is one of Alfred Molina's first movies. Absolutely right. It is him, isn't it? Yeah.

Dr. Octopus himself. He's very young. They covered him. And he's a bit of a, oh, don't worry about it. I won't spoil that. He's a bit of a, oh, he betrays him. Yeah. It's early on in the movie, okay?

He's a bit of a skunbag. He's a bit of a skunk bag. Throw me the idol. Oh my God. I'm going to have to wait a few years before watching this other thing. He's a real Benny from the mummy, you know? Yeah, he has a bit of a Benny vibe. They put real-life tarantulas on him, but they couldn't get the tarantulas to react.

They started blowing it with a fan. Oh, my God. Apparently added a female tarantula to him because the male tarantulas were too, like, sort of calm by themselves. Oh, and the women tarantulas are less calm, are they myself? That's not, I'm not. Maybe they're carrying a little more of the mental load, okay, and they're a little run-down, exhausted. They sound like that they brought the drama. Let me see what the feminist of the podcast has to say.

Well, I'm going to have to back Marcel on this one because Because that's a science As a feminist, I mean, I'm assuming you're reading from some people, some men who know women I can only assume. So, yeah, then I'm going to have to, I'm going to have to sew Marcel there as a feminist. Apparently a lot of the tarantulas took off after the crew and a lot of the crew were running for their lives on this film set. If you can't outrun a tarantula.

It's got to be like two feet and then you get away They're walking for their lives Well apparently like they had flexiglass set up around Alfred Molina So the tarantulas Like when they were brushed off wouldn't then escape

But they just climbed the plexy glass So because they're spiders Oh my god These spiders are somehow climbing the glass Blue means glue They remembered So Indiana Jones I won't let it go

He runs away I've got What's going to be interesting about these recaps Is I'm going to make sure I'm not doing like The full recap of the movie. So I'm going to be editing as I go along so, so Matt and Jess can still enjoy these

films. But I want, I want you to give a sense of the sort of general flow of the movie. So we see India escapes the Peruvian natives and his rival Renee Belloc who steals the idol from him. René Belloc becomes like the villain of the movie. And then we cut back to see Indiana Jones working at a university and we see Indiana Jones in teacher mode. Jess, as a woman. Does, what, what version of Indiana Jones do you prefer? Do you prefer Indiana Jones in, you know, his leather jacket and hat? Or do you prefer university teacher, Indy?

University teacher. Probably doesn't stink as bad. I'm sorry, I was being asked a question as a woman. Okay, but I thought I'd feel this one. I'll take this one. Look, both good, to be honest. The hat's good. Do you buy the whole thing of like, there's the whole, all the students are what,

Indy the school teacher or the college professor, I should say. Yeah. And they are besotted by him. They're drooling over this man. Oh, that's right. One of the women on her eyelids has written love on one eyelid and you on the other eyelid. And I have written that on my eyelids today to illustrate that.

Did it work? Has that strategy worked in the past, yeah. You've got to be blinking a lot to make sure people... I'm actually going to close your eyes for a bit. Or blink one eye at a time. And how do you know if it's, if it's working? worked or not. Well, I guess...

So you open your eyes again and they're like, huh, sorry, what's the mean? Imagining things that you close your eyes and they're like, oh, me too. Oh, sorry. Well, I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I'll tell you something a bit yuck is that like George Lucas wanted Indiana Jones to be a bit of a playboy. They wanted him to be like the James Bond type who, Indiana Jones who fucks. Yeah. Pardon my French.

I'm sure you'll believe... He firk. So creepily in an earlier draft, I think this made it to the cut, but it was cut out. In the next scene, you see him waking up next to the Love You students. Oh, wow. Yeah. Isn't, yeah, it just... Like cut it for time or...

It's a bit weird, especially it being a student. Yeah, exactly. She may be in a college student, but it's... He's not. Exactly, exactly, exactly right. It's a different time. But there's George Lucas being like, that's cool, guys, right? That's right.

High-fiving everyone in the office, I assume. Different time for sure. I think there's a lot of movies where that sort of stuff was like, yeah. How cool and hot is that car? Yeah. He's burning. This guy's cool. How adventurous is this guy?

Yeah, but it's interesting. They caught that anyway. Why do you think that's sort of strange about what if we make him a ladies man? And by a ladies man, I mean he has sex with his students. Like, that's not the same. That's not the same thing. And it's also, so it's rather unnecessary for the character. I'm guessing.

Yeah, there's nothing to his character that needs him. He's not seducing his way into these caves and stuff. Thrusting into a cave. Unbuttoning a shirt. Getting past the... Showing a bit of nip. From my memory, he seems a bit uncomfortable with the love you. And that's what I think is better for his character that he is a bit like, hey, I'm

interested in getting this into a museum, you know. That's right. That's my whole thing. I like old things. I like real old things. young ladies. Yeah, you're the opposite of what I want. I want old inanimate things.

I want a fucking mummy. Yeah, you heard me. Indy gets called up because two army intelligence agents recruit him to go to, because they, they have, they hit the whole thing that Hitler is after the arc of the cupboard. Bloody hell. The Nazis are in this, but not Hitler doesn't make sure. He wasn't cast.

Hitler wasn't available. Wow. A bad painter, bad actor, apparently. But he did go on to do Magnum PR. Swings and roundabouts and three men and a Nazi baby. He was in that. It was a bad faith actor. Three men and a Nazi.

A Nazi baby. So this sort of sends India Jones off on an adventure to, all right, I've got to go get the Ark of the Covenant before the Nazis do. Because the whole theory is that it's got untold power to whoever finds it. That's right. If an army gets this Ark of the Covenant, they will be unstoppable. And you don't want unstoppable Nazis, do you? We want to stop the Nazis.

So this is in the 30s or 40s? This is correct. The 1936, this is, yeah. So I won't spoil how World War II goes for you, because have you seen that yet? I haven't, no, we did World War I as an episode a while back. Haven't got onto the sequel yet. Still waiting to see who wins? Yeah.

Yeah. But yeah, I've just got to wait until I've got a full weekend to binge it. So, Indy goes to meet a past, an old flame of his. And by old flame, I guess I sort of mean young flame with Indy's tastes. So he meets Marion Ravenwood, who is the daughter of Abner Ravenwood, who he used to work with. At a bar in Nepal, they reunite. And they used to have an illicit relationship, which is, once again, creep alert, Indy was about 27 at the time, which means Marion was more like 16, 17.

And once again, apparently earlier in the drafts, Lucas wanted her to be even younger than that. Why, Lucas? Why? He thought it would be cool or something. You can see entire transcripts of their brainstorming. Wow. Oh, God, I'd be like, don't write that down.

I don't like put that out in the world Yeah it's for it but because the movie is so big It's like hey anything from this movie Even the brainstorms are like Hey we should we should publish that Because people like Marion says to him I was a child I was in love and Indy says You knew what you were doing

Oh yeah pretty Anyway back to the adventure I'm just looking at photos of him as a lecturer Yeah he clearly he looks like a middle age man I was he looks older than I was expecting I think he's like 37 Evan Harrison Ford was... I mean, very dash, very handsome.

And I do love a tweed jacket. So I'm feeling inspired now, maybe a fashion gold type situation here. At the time of recording, we're about to do the Golden Shiny Garys this week. Let's do go on awards night. What is the dress code? It's dressed to impress.

And would you be impressed with a tweed jacket? I'd write love you on my eyelids for that. Might go down the off shop later. See what I can find. I didn't bring my Indiana Jones costume. I'm disappointed now. You can head back to Sydney and get it and bring it back. That's time.

I heard you're going to Sydney. I am. I'll pick it up for you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. So we learned that Abner is dead and the bar is set of blades. This great fight scene. The Gestapo are hot on their tail so they've got to escape.

Marion's bar is burnt down. They travel to Cairo and they meet Jones's friend Sala, who's played by John Reese Davies, who great role is one of my favorite characters. You might know him as Gimley or the professor from the TV show Sliders, if anyone ever watched Sliders. Oh, yeah, I used to watch Sliders. That was a Friday night classic. Channel 10, 730 every Friday night.

Yeah, you know. Where are they going to slide to next? I just remind, I would have mentioned this before, but I just find it so funny. I want to do sound about it someday. You can tell me how myself. But one episode, they clearly didn't have a lot of budget left in this season. And they, so the whole thing was they'd slide into different realities, alternative realities. And one, they slid into, everything seemed exactly the same.

Only the women had goatees. It was always those little things. What's different about this world? And Jerry O'Connell's like, as I remember, he's like, oh, this place is all right. I'd be happy to stay here. Hang on. That's like them getting to the end of the season going, we've got no money left. Yeah.

But we do have a bag. Yeah, one of the costume guys is like, hey, where'd all these goadies come from? That gives me an idea. Yeah, one of my favorite shows. Sala was almost played by Danny DeVito, both of which, both actors who are not Egyptian, playing an Egyptian character. Danny DeVito was in it? It was almost going to be. Oh, right.

Sorry if you got excited that Dean DeVito was turning out. I was going to say, I feel like I would have known that. It's already an all-star cast with Harrison Ford. That's it. Is Sean Connery in it? He's in the third movie. Oh, interesting. This is like one of the biggest bits of film trivia

that gets passed around all the time, which is that in this fight scene in Cairo, that Ford developed dysentery in the blistering 130 degree heat, which is 40 degrees Celsius. So, 54 degrees Celsius. Oh, no. It's pretty hot.

No. They were filming in Tunisia. So Ford was too weak to swing his whip for this fight scene that was apparently three. and a half pages that they had to do this fight scene between him and this sword-wielding guy. Three pages are just whip, and then he whips,

and then he swings his sword, then he whips again, and he whip, whip, whip, whip, whip, whip, whip, whip, whip, and then they, it depends who you ask, but it seems like it was Ford's idea to go, hey, what if I just shot the guy

instead of a big fight scene, he just, I know that, I know that clear. Because the guy with the sword is like huge, it's like six foot eight or something. He's wheeling this big sword, and he just goes, eh, pulls out a gun, it just shoots him. One of the funniest scenes of someone being shot to death. What's your top three? Oh, that's a good question.

Come back to you. That's maybe number one. Yeah. Yeah. It's very funny. Also, you know, there's no, we don't know if that guy had a family. Yeah. We don't know.

It's like, if he really meant to fight Harrison Ford to the death, maybe he was just showing off his sword. He's like, I just bought a new sword. Check it out. So that Austin Power scene. Oh, what, that. of my favorite. Yeah. It's a good bit.

The henchman's wife getting the call up and learning that he was crushed by a steamroller. And weirdly, that scene cut out of like the first release of that movie. Like, I think for time or something. And it's like one of my favorite scenes. Yeah, it's so funny.

It's bizarre. So India Jones thinks Marion is kidnapped, but she's actually alive. They go about trying to find this well of souls where the Ark of Covenant is buried. We learn a bit of about Indy's fear of snakes. This well of souls is full of snakes.

They, I think they got 6,000 cobras, pythons, bow-constrictors and grass and garters snakes assembled for this two-week stint because apparently you can't fake, you can't fake snakes. You can't, they just wouldn't work. Really? Apparently they had to get, they realized that their anti-venom that they had on hand was two years outdated. Oh, no.

Special serum. Snakes are updated there. They're always updating the venom. Apparently, they had like this an ambulance on standby. Sounds like the snakes at Apple and Google, am I right? Always updating their bloody terms of service. We'd like to thank our sponsors today. Yeah, no, good on them.

Snakes. Thank you. Apparently, like, Indiana Jones is in this scene and he is decked out in, like, you know, his costume. So he's well protected from these real snacks that are around them. But meanwhile, Karen Allen, who plays Marion, she's just in, like, a cocktail dress. 90 type thing. So she's well and truly exposed. And she did not seem to get much respect at all from Spielberg.

He says, screaming was a problem because Miss Allen was sometimes at a loss for words. Karen was so terrified of the snake she couldn't scream. And of course, she had to. But all that came out was air. At one point, I dropped a snake from a scaffolding. It landed on her like a pearl necklace and she screamed on cue for a week. Whenever she didn't see me, she'd look up, which is just sort of terrifying. Jesus, Stephen.

I tortured a woman, but I got great results. What can I say? He gets results. And apparently this whole time, because Spielberg went way over budget with 1941 and it wasn't really a big hit, he was cutting corners with this and trying to, like, rather making an A movie, he called it a B-plus movie. And apparently a lot of the shortcuts that he made ended up making it a better movie. like when Indiana Jones just shut the guy.

They escaped the Will of Souls. And like, this is my favorite action sequence in the movie. They have this fight scene around this airplane that's slowly turning around on this runway. And he fights this guy called Pat Roach is the actor's name. He's an actor and professional wrestler. And he's the only other actor that turns up in all the Indiana Jones movies. There's different characters that get killed by Harrison Ford. And he's not like the most subtle of guys.

He's huge, right? He's a huge guy. Yeah. He unfortunately browns up a little bit in the next movie, Temple of Doom, and plays a Indian character. Also, he doesn't play the same character each time. No, because he's dead. Okay.

He gets killed every time. That's a spoiler, but... Yeah, he gets punched into a spinning, like, jet engine. But one of my favorite tropes in movies is the little guy fighting the big guy, like, and trying to, like, having to figure out. Like, there's a good one in Zorro as well. Top of my head, I think maybe Princess Bride, maybe has a good one. Nearly every James Bond.

Yeah, big, big fan of how's this little guy going to be able to overcome this giant guy. Get smart does it all the time. He'll, Max will punch him and he'll go, right, and he'll punch him a few times ago on a budge. And then Max will start dusting off his shoulders. The big guy's shoulders, go, hey, sorry about that crack back there. I hope you didn't take any offense by the... Why are you the man of a thousand voices if you're not going to do your Max voice? Messed it by that much.

That's good. That's good stuff. Good stuff. I'm really putting together your little character reel here. Viosa. Love it. I'm imagining they all sound exactly the same, but... The Harrison was flawless.

But... Flawless. There's also a great documentary film of, like, this fan-made film that they recreated scene for scene everything in Raiders when they were kids. And then the documentary is them coming back after decades to film their version of the airplane sequence because they could never afford to do it. And it's a great documentary. documentary scene like these grown men pretend to be Indiana Jones characters and then interspice with them as kids doing the other scenes. It's a, it's free touching.

That's cute. I recommend it. They then escape. Jones gets the arc, but then loses it again when they get their boat hijacked. I'm cutting a lot of things. So don't you, so you still have excitement when you see it. I appreciate you giving us the abbreviated version. And also, you know, Warnockie, kept pointing out his watch going, we got to get out of here. You're going to annoy people. Stop saying that. I'm not wearing a watch. You might be surprised.

I'm not watching, wearing a watch at all. Or pants, but that's unrelated. So they find themselves on this island after Indiana Jones gives, you know, he catches a ride on a U-boat. There is a submarine in this movie. Sorry, sorry, sorry, Jess. They're just dumb. I don't hate them

I just think they're silly People think this is a plot hold That Inyo Jones is able to hold his breath And attach himself to the submarine As it travels across the water But apparently he just held on to the periscope But it just got cut out And it doesn't actually go all the way under the water

Right okay yep But I think still quite a feat That a grown man just held onto a periscope And travelled through the ocean So they get to the island and the Nazis go, well, before we give this to Hitler, we should test it for ourselves. We should have a little peek inside this arc of the covenant because how embarrassing would it be to give it to Hitler? And Hitler's like, there's nothing here.

This isn't a big deal. He'd be chill about it, I reckon. Yeah, he's a chill guy. He's famously a chill guy. Yeah. So, Indy. Oh, no worries. That's okay.

We all make mistakes. India and Marion are tied up They're next to the big reveal of the covenant The lid is opened And this is the famous face melting thing Because Indy says Do not look at it Because you are seeing

You're seeing God's face You're seeing God And it's too much for humans to How does he know that in advance He just seems to instinctively know I think it was a scene that was cut Was But he studies it as well

All right. Yeah, he's a smart guy. So when he says, hey, don't look, you know, close your eyes, Mary, and you sort of go, you just take it when you watch it. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, because inside specifically, the 10 Commandments, the tablaces, that was inside. So for some reason, it's face-moutingly powerful. He calls it a radio transmitter to God.

So it's quite a Christian film. So it's a moral tale. Right. Yeah. That's interesting. What moral have you taken from it? No, I just, well, I mean, the fact that God is so powerful. powerful little melt your face.

That's a different telling from the New Testament, I think. But the tablets are Old Testament. As someone who wrote the Old Testament, what? No, I wrote one of the Gospels in the New Testament. Oh, Matthew. Matthew. Well, you know my work. A little light blasphemy for your afternoon.

Commute. Imagining, because I know a lot of stuff. Everyone listening right now is, especially Jonathan, who's driving to work. That's going to freak someone out. That's not a beautiful. Jonathan, you've been driving for over an hour. It's too long.

Maybe he's driving home from work. Oh, it's like, oh, I get to listen to the rest of that episode. Yeah. I wonder what happens to Marion. Well, Marion doesn't get her face melted because she doesn't look. Yeah, they both don't look. Not a look at Marion. Just how Lisa defeated all those billboards that came to life.

Just don't look. Exactly right. Another good Simpsons. Right up. This is the thing. All the Nazis die because they open the box. And all what Indy had to do was just close his eyes and the sort of fire that came out of the box

burnt their ropes off and they're just like, oh, we're fine now. The lid went back on to the box and then Day is saved. Indy didn't really, like they would have done that all anyway without Indy's intervention. Right, the covenant, it's got its own self-defense mechanism. I guess so.

Was he going there to protect it? Yeah. Or to take it door museum. Get it for the Americans. Right. Yeah. Yeah, and also, yeah, he's always interested in things going to a museum. But I don't think he, I think only in the third movie does he say that classic line that belongs in a museum.

I didn't kill my wife. Oh, that's good. She belongs in a museum. It's a weird film. Give me back my son. That's a different guy, but still, great line. That's Mel Gibson from Ransom. Give me back my son.

Was that in a blockbuster ad? I think it was, yeah. Yeah. I think it's also an improv game. I think someone on a tonight show, I think, pitched, like, said it to like Stephen Colbert or Letterman once that like part of their improv game was like just going back and forth. You just keep saying that much intensity as you can.

Wow. Dave, what do you go? Give me back my son. Oh. I'm not doing it. I can't get into the character. Does it remind you too much of the son you lost? I just don't know where he is.

I've misplaced him I feel awful if I bring it up You'd be better at the taken because your son has been taken so you could do that classic line I'll find you to do that one I'm nervous What's the line?

That's not quite it We'll go again Hello it's me Liam Neeson Great I'm just wondering if I could have my daughter back Please I thought it was your son I have a very specific set of skills I'm a carpenter

I could build you something nice in exchange for my child. I've got a specific set of skills. Can mix up a delicious martini? I'm a mixologist. What's your drink of choice? I'll work at your next dinner party. Am I close? Yeah, I think that's pretty much it.

No worries if not, I think he says. Yeah, that's how yeah. No worries if not. Anyway, call me back. It's a voicemail this whole time. It's one of those voicemails where the guy says like, hello? Yeah. And then Paul's like, actually, it's a voicemail.

Just kidding. Just kidding. These human traffickers, they are goofball. They have a sense of human. You're going to lighten up. So this movie was a big old hit. There's a big old hit. Right off the bat.

Right off the bat. Pre-release polling showed little audience interest in the film, especially compared to Superman 2, despite this Raiders of the Lost Dark became the highest grossing film of 1981. What do you think the secret to the success was? Harrison Ford must have helped, I imagine. Harrison Ford. And this is also the time that like blockbusters were becoming a thing, like Jaws and Star Wars, Jaws and Star Wars, Jaws and Star Wars were the first sort of examples of like big blockbusters.

So now everyone's going, hey, you got to see the summer tent pole movies. So I think that was a big sort of the movies had a renaissance. So 330 million worldwide and played in some theaters for overreesome. year. Wow. I don't even know how many months that is. Just on repeat. Just on repeat back to back.

Some of them here at 1 a.m. Screening. Wow. Just like your Baywatch channel, Dave. That's right. We discovered, well, I discovered and I told them last week, Marcel, that I've got a Samsung TV, which for some reason has free TV channels that come with it. One of them is BondiVet 24-7.

One of them is MythBusters 24-7. And my favorite is Baywatch all the time. That's so bizarre Back to back And it just came with the TV It feels like something custom That you've installed Yeah Jerry Springer

247 Oh man That's bad Just what you need Good luck What does he say Good luck for yourselves And each other

Oh yeah Look up to yourself Good luck to yourself Good luck to yourself And here's my final thought Yeah It's always nice When you give a little

Final thought The movie Yeah Each episode needed a little bit Of a little final thought Of the year Can I touch Steve's head That was the number one

Requestion of the audience So like He was a bold security guard And they wanted to touch his head for some reason Do we have any questions on the audience? Can I touch Steve's head? And did he let him? Yep, nearly every time

Oh, you'd have brutal for the people who he rejected And then Steve wanted to have his own talk show Which I think ran for as long, if not longer than jurisprayor Really? Wow. And it was called Can I Touch Steve's Head? I wish. So this was the sort of era as well

When like these days the biggest movies aren't necessarily expected to compete for best picture. Maybe a Marvel movie gets a few technical nominations, but that's about it. Raiders of the Lost Ark was a different story. It was indeed nominated for Best Picture and Best Director out of nine total nominations. While it didn't win either of those,

Charoits of Fire won Best Picture with another iconic song, but it did take home. I love Charoots of Fire. I haven't seen it. I don't know. Oh, I think I have seen the movie. I was just more talking about the song.

Just the song. Yeah. Which is an iconic song. Dunna-na-na. Don't love it. While these runners are on the track. It's the chariot of fire. In slow motion.

Oh, so good. Really good to go. It makes you want to run, you know? Yeah. It does. So, wait, one, best art direction, best film editing, best sound, best sound editing, and best visual effects. Wow.

Yeah, pretty impressive. Although I can't get that excited about best sound editing. Oh, who's going to win? Best sound editing this year. I'm sure it takes a lot of effort and a lot of skills. Marcel, a big chunk of our listenership are sound editors. Yeah, that's true. That's a real kick in the teeth.

I'm just, guys, I love your work, but please don't change my voice, Mr. Sound Editor, guy. Don't make it sound silly. Don't tempt you. Oh, boy. So there is truth, this whole idea of Nazis going after the occult and having an interest in these things. This isn't just made up funny business for the moving pictures. Oh.

This is actually real. So I did some research. So this is from an article called, it turns out, Raiders of the Lost Ark, wasn't so far off about the Nazis. And then he goes on to quote a books right away. In Hitler's monsters, the supernatural history of the Third Reich, Eric Kurland, a professor of history at Stetson University, carefully tracks the fringe movements and lunatic beliefs that swept through Germany in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Some Nazi leaders firmly believed the Aryan race descended from the aliens who established Atlantis, that Satan was really a good guy and that werewolves actually protected clean living teutons

against the ravages and sexual depredations of Slavic vampires. We covered some of that in our Atlanta's episode. Oh, really? Yeah, wild stuff. I wondered if there'd be some crossover. In German theosophical circles, it was commonly believed that India and Tibet preserved the hidden enclaves of ancient Atlanteans

or even living secret masters. One lunatic named Guido von Lest proved that Balder, Jesus, Buddha, Osiris and Moses were all pure-blooded Aryans. Okay. Guys, I've got some interesting literature to hand to you. After the episode, I've really turned. I've really, some really interesting things.

Do go see Marcel's show in the comedy festival? I've changed it from less of an improv show, more of a lecture of sorts. But very compelling stuff. As late as 1942, Hitler could declare himself a supporter of World Ice Theory. Anyone else, before I tell you what it is, want to say that you are also a supporter of World Ice Theory? Welled Ice Theory. Hitler was on to it. Hitler was a supporter of it.

But do you reckon that you'd be into world ice theory? I'm going to, I'm going to, because I know this could be a trick, and it could be something like support, not killing kids or something. So I'm going to say, I want to withhold my answer for a second. Pretty smart. Dave? I'm keen to hear more. Yeah, okay.

I'm going to make a call. I'm on board. So this is called, you know it when you write a report, you guys would know. Some of the words that come up, you go, I've never said that out loud before. Yeah. And now I'm realizing that glacial cosmogony might not be the word to say it, or I might have nailed it completely. Why can you nailed it?

World Ice Theory, glacial cosmogony, as it was known, maintained that icy moons had crashed into the earth causing floods and geophysical damage, but also bringing living kernels from outer space that would evolve into Aryan super beings. According to SS chief Heinrich Himmler, perhaps the most ardent Nazi occultist, These Aryans possess paranormal powers and extraordinary weapons, one dimly recalled as Thor's Dunderhammer, Molinar. It is so wild that people who had these thoughts rose to power. Isn't it just?

Wild. Yeah. And these kernels that arrived, corn kernels that ended up being the super Aryans, they popped, so to speak. And once you pop. Yeah. You can't stop. Genocide. Himmler would send an expedition to Tibet to search for tracts.

races of this primordial civilization. So, like, is, that's, yeah, so they actually did send out people to find artifacts and evidence of these things and have these, yeah, bizarre beliefs. That's probably makes sense. That's why Hitler ended up moving to a base below Antarctica in the end. Is that Aliens versus Predator? No, that's a history of mankind. Sorry.

So there is a pyramid in Alien v. Predator, which I watched last week. Oh, really? What did you think? A terrible movie, but I love it. It's a terrible movie, but you loved it. Absolutely. Dave, as resident person who's actually seen the Indiana Jones movies, what goes through your mind when I say Temple of Dune?

I like it the third most. I don't think it's anyone near. Out of the four movies. Out of the four movies that have been so far made, I think, Red is a Lost Ark, number three, absolute cinema classics. That's the best one. They're great. Number two, it's not, it's still great.

It's good, but I don't like it as much. it spooked the heck out of me as a child. I think that might be part of it too because they, like you said, they didn't play it as much on movie, on TV when we were growing up, I think because it is a bit more spooky and when I did see it, it freaked me out.

Yeah, it freaked me out too. It freaked me out as well. So they decided that they'd go in a different direction for the sequel. Lucas, once again, always being in the contrarian, was like, what if we make it scary? Spielberg didn't really want to do

a sort of poltergeist thing. But I think both of them were going through breakups and they're both going through breakups. So they sort of blame that on them being a little bit darkier and moodyer at the time and maybe not much fun to be around. If you don't like it, well then blame Carol. And the villain's name was Carol. And she was like a monster. This monster who's like, clean up your socks. Shut up, Carol.

Well, the woman in this, her name is Willie Scott's, the guy. character's name. She's played by Kate Capshaw. She is just whiny the whole time. She's whiny and she complains and Indy is always like, come on, let's go. And she's just like, oh, I'm wet, I'm upset. She's in a puddle at the time. Right.

Yeah. Okay. And that's Harrison Ford's doing, I assume. That was an elephant, an elephant that Harrison Ford did. He said this is his contribution. This is sort of stuff when you research a movie so deeply, you go, oh, I, I've learned that Harrison Ford was the one that wanted to have elephants in the movie. Like, that's his contribution.

There should be elephants on the next one. And they went, all right. Okay, Mr. Ford. That's part of his writer. So this one, this is to set you up when you're ready to watch it, Matt. Is this one a prequel just so it doesn't hurt your brain too much. They went, hey, we can't have Nazis again. That would be too many Nazis.

Let's go back in time when before there were Nazis a few years beforehand. How do they deage them? They didn't. Yeah, they just assume no one. And they also don't make a fuss about being like, hey, they don't, they just, I think they have the year on screen at some point. It's 1935 in this one. But they don't fuss. There's no fuss made.

They could have called this a sequel and it would have been the same movie because no one would have really known. You said that guy that was in all the movies, the Beatle or whatever. He, the Roach. Oh, yeah, Pat Roach. Pat Roach. He, um, he said he couldn't be in the second. because he died, but he could have just been the same character. No, he is, I'm, yeah, this is, okay, now you're right.

Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. Gotcha moment. Is this a gotcha podcast? It is. Oh, man. We invite you want to look silly.

This whole thing has been a gotcha podcast. Are you guys even recording? Nah. Oh. Gotcha. Come on, Ashton. Come on in. We gotched him.

We gotched him. He's been coached. It's a new show, but Ashton Gutsch is still hosting it? He's still hosting it. Yeah. We brand for Australia. Punk didn't make sense here. Okay, but gotcha.

Gotcha did. Yeah, people would say you've been punk. They go, what? What does that mean? Gotcha. It means we gotcha. We gotcha. Oh, very funny.

So this one opened with a big musical number, which is delightful. Okay. Kate captioned. Does sound dark. I can tell why you were scared, Dave. Because I was like, oh, no, it's a musical. I panicked. I love a good musical.

You wet your pants. You were sitting in a puddle. I'm wet. Kate Capshaw sings Anything Goes in Chinese. Fun fact that is that I was in Anything Goes the musical. There you go. Is that a fun fact? Oh, I'm sorry.

Sorry, you are the resident person who determines what's a fun fact or not. The fact that I was in a community musical called Anything Goes Fun? Yeah, it's pretty fun. Okay, great. I was a background guy and my role was so my mute that I could have not. that I could have not turned up to the musical and the show would have gone on exactly the same. That's how small my role was.

Sort of a Harrison Ford type thing. Indiana Jones effect. Exactly. Exactly right. They still would have been saved. So in this movie in the starting sequence, Lucas gets his wish of seeing him be a bit more of a playboy and Indiana Jones turns up in this Humphrey Bogart white sort of tuxedo shirt

looking very dashing, which is also, you know, know, we could be ranking his looks as, you know, what the sexiest looks. And I'd say it would be up there. Okay. What he wanted from this was like the opening scene sort of feels like the ending of another Indiana Jones movie. So this one opens with him delivering this diamond to this Chinese mob boss. And then the mob boss tries to poison him.

And then he's running around trying to get the antidote as this whole fight scene is taking place and balloons are coming down from the ceiling. And he's hiding from bullets behind a. bullet shots behind a gong, you know, bullet shots. That's a word that people use. We also get the introduction of his little sidekick short round. He's played by Kihei Kwan, who people might know from everything everywhere all at once. He's having a resurgence of fan.

He was so good in that. I just watched that a couple of weeks ago. And I like the way, because how he has to play different characters basically. I'm like, holy shit, this guy, I didn't know who he was. I'm like, this guy's awesome. Yeah. He plays the, you know, the meat guy and then the badass guy. And it just like clicks and you're like, wow, this guy's awesome.

And he just, he also just seems so nice. Yeah. And this whole resurgence that's happening for him, he's so excited about it. It's so lovely. Thanking Stephen Spielberg in his speech. Yeah. He's thrilled to be back. He saw Harrison Ford at the Disney Plus day and they had a cuddle and stuff.

That's very cute. So what I love, I like, this is actually a better audition story than Harrison Ford who just got the role is that key. actually went in to help his brother audition and it was like helping direct his brother how to audition and Spielberg was like hey he's like what about that guy. Whoa. Well, brother is like, bo bo bo bo bo no. I don't know like if his brother was younger or older and didn't suit the role.

But also Key didn't speak much English. So it wasn't really great on script, but was able to. Harrison Ford was apparently around in the office. They were like, hey, can we get Harrison in here? They'll improvise a scene. They'll do some Chicago. style improv. And then the Spilberg said,

hey, you'll pretend to play cards and you'll accuse Indiana Jones of cheating. And then that scene ended up in the movie. Wow. Which is cool. And now his freaking, his back, his back and he's grateful to be. Ki-Hi-Huan.

So Willie Scott, as I said, is usually seen as the least popular of the three indie women, although she did go on, the actor, I should say. So Kate Capshaw ended up marrying Stephen Spielberg years later. So this is sort of like Bond-like. There's a different leading lady in each one. Marion does come back, but in the first three movies, get a different women. Sorry to spoil it for you.

Marion's the one. Wow. We love Marion. And they're playing different characters. It's not like the actors weren't available or something. Yeah, always different. I always hate when they have to re-cast. Like they did in the Mummy Three.

That sucked. No. Hated it. Especially when it's, you know, someone like Rachel Weiss and you're like, she's, she's perfect. She is that role. Don't change it. Just kill her off. Rachel Wise or the character?

You open the movie with him being sad. Like, oh, I can't believe she got eaten by that mummy. Yeah. Off I go. Off I go to fight shortly. Yeah. I could write movies. Absolutely.

I'd watch them. Thank you so much. That's one sale. I could bring that into a pitch meeting. I've already sold a ticket. I've sold a one. No, I don't have. the money up front.

I trust it. In this movie, like after they escape this club fight scene, they go off on an aeroplane and have to jump out of it using a life raft as a parachute. You know how like an inflatable life raft that you'd just sort of sail down. You'd use that to break your fall. Believe it or not, Mythbusters did test this out and you can't do that. You can't. Wow.

Just in case you... I look forward to watching that on my Samsung. On loop. Maybe it's playing right now and you're missing it. No. That's the thing because it just says in the guide, it doesn't say what the episode is, it just says Baywatch, Baywatch, Baywatch, Baywatch.

Baywatch. That's all there is. It's great fun. So you guys would back me there, but... Not very good. That's basically what you call in improv, and I don't know if you know this muster, but that's blocking.

Yeah, there's different versions of blocking. Sometimes you can, I'm playing the role of man who wants to go on. Yes. So I'm playing that role of person watching Jess check her phone as you were chanting. And remember there's half an hour for the Patreon section. And I'll play the role of block. So I'm blocking you. So I quite like this plot because they land in like the situation.

So like they crash land. They go down a river. and they find themselves in northern India in this village. And in the village, they have lost their sacred stone that protects their village and also all their children have been kidnapped. So I'd like the sort of hero is swept up rather than in the other movies. He's sort of given a mission James Bond style and like sent on his way. And this one, he lands smack bang in the adventure,

much in the way that Queen Mallory was whenever he'd go through a portal in Sliders. Oh, yeah, bro. Finally putting into terms Matt understands. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, slight a style. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So did they list the issues in that order as well? The missing rock.

Oh, and also the village's children are actually. Yes, actually it does go rock and then children. Yeah. I think it's to sort of break it to him gently, you know, like lead him into it. Also, because he's an archaeologist, so he's like, hey, you'd probably be into rocks and shit. Yeah, that's true. Also, there's, I mean, he is into kids as well, but they're probably a little young for him. He likes him a bit older.

University age. Yeah, university age. They go on their way to Pankok Palace because they learn that there's a new Maharaja in town and he's up to no good. That's exactly how it's phrased in the movie. I'm paraphrasing. Did the Maharaja say that? I hope that's how I arrived. There's a new Maharaj in town.

And I'm up to no good. And I'm up to no good. Get ready. In West India, born a raise. And so they go to Pankat Palace and Willie is not interested. She does not want to ride an elephant. She wants to be back in the nightclubs singing her songs. And short round, he's up for it.

He's a wily kid and he's just keen to be. We don't really learn much about what his deal is. He's just there. He's just with them. So they go to Pankhot Palace and they're welcomed in. Like, oh, yeah, come on in. We've got nothing to hide. Like, everything's fine.

They've got guests. And then we sit down for this meal and this meal is iconic. Dave, do you remember what gets served? Is it monkey related? It is monkey related. This is for your podcast. Is it in the cranium area? It is.

There are monkey brains that are served. But also really great, like a big, like Boa-type python gets cut open and like living snakes spill out of it. People are eating like scarabed beetles and stuff, like a pinata, like a living pina. As if like you bust over in a pinaata and then it was full of living snakes. Oh my God, imagine. Yeah. That would be Indiana's best not, man. Exactly, he hates snakes.

But also the kid who's hitting the panata has to be blindfolded. So everyone's screaming. They're like, what's happening? What's happening? Did I get it? Don't leave some candy for me. Should I keep doing it? So, yeah, everyone's really creeped out.

It certainly scarred me as a kid watching this. And this stirred up some controversy. They say the depiction of Indian culture, it caused the movie to be temporarily banned in India. they did not like how they were represented. The depiction of Indian cuisine was heavily criticized, as this article pointed out, as dishes such as baby snakes, eyeball soup, beetles, and chilled monkey brains are not Indian foods. Yeah, that is wild. They're like, it's like quite a vegetarian, you know, heavy cuisine as far as well.

I mean, there's a lot of the cultures. Yeah, it's a gigantic country. And, like, I think to give the filmmakers some leeway, and, like, one of the main actors sort of said, like, it was, like, part of the joke and it's sort of high fantasy. and a lot of Indian movies play in this sort of same high fantasy sort of world. This is some sort of ancient temple that's up to no good,

as I keep phrasing it. But it was taken out of context. And apparently some American teachers did teach some of these things as fact. Oh my God. That's what they do. This documentary. So dumb.

It was amazing how much great footage I had from back then. You could take that a bit as hearsay as well. So they learned that there's more going on in the palace and they realize and underneath there are human sacrifices going on. One of the other parts that scarred me as a kid is that, well, before this, Willie gets covered in bugs. And once again, that's another indie woman that got, you know, so we had the previous one get covered in snakes.

This one gets covered in cockroaches and giant stick insects and centipede and stuff. And does that continue on every episode or whatever? I think these are the sort of worst examples of what they had to put up with. Because, like, Kate Captcha learnt deep meditation just to endure this bug scene. And one other reported that she was given, like, drugs to sort of chill her out while they put cockroaches in her hair. Because she was just afraid of them sort of burying their way into her hair and stuff. Yuck. It's very creepy.

Yeah, the scene that really, yeah, haunted me is that at one point, Indiana Jones gets hypnotized and sort of taken over by the evil cult that lives beneath. the palace and he's sort of at the air beck and call and like short round is like no indy no you're you're supposed to be the hero of the movie and he's like oh there's like four wall break tries to like yeah it's not a fourth wall break um yeah you're supposed to be the hero of the movie we are currently in but they were making him like cluck like a chicken and stuff they're no they're making him engage in human sacrifice oh yeah that's a full on i've only ever seen it on tv where they make him, you know, sing or clark.

This is more the evil cult sort of thing. You heard of this evil hypnotist stuff? When I can't do evil stuff? No, I can't remember that segment on the TV show. Yeah, the Vegas hypnotist. They don't normally get in that sort of stuff. All right, now, robber bang. I mean, that's what you're putting yourself open to when you do that, I guess.

They can make you do anything. Wow. Would you trust them? Absolutely not. No way. So then this features like an amazing mind cart chase out of the temple. That's the coolest bit, isn't it? Yeah, it's really cool.

They use, like, miniatures to make this happen, which you watch again and you can see it, but it's still incredibly well. I mean, it's got to be top three mind cart chases. Obviously, you've got that. You've got Jun to the center of the earth and the rock, starring Sean Conner. Oh, no, Donkey Kong didn't make the cut. I can't believe it didn't make a cut. It's one of my, I love the mind card.

Yeah, that level is awesome. Huh. Okay. I've learned a little bit more about Dave today. The final showdown is this great rope bridge scene that I won't spoil for you, but it's good stuff. There's crocodiles in it. Okay. Do you have a crocodile theme podcast that you need stuff for?

No, but there is some crocodile scenes in the upcoming series of the beer pioneer. I'm opt to crock. Yeah, I'm also going to put gummy bears in there for Minecraft. What do you call it? Mind carts. Mine cart scenes, yeah. Gummy bears had some great mine carding work. Gummy bears.

Yeah. Bouncing here and there and everywhere. Mine car, isn't that the book that Hitler wrote? Yeah, well, it's a pretty dark cartoon. They have these secret berries that give them superhuman powers. Oh, interesting. They're Aryan bears. Oh, right.

They're the carrion bears. I want to get to the reception of this movie more than like pointing out the tiny details that happened in the end. This movie helped bring around the PG-13 rating. They didn't have that before. There was something between PG and R. Like, we have PG and then we have MA and then we have R. But Americans just had, you'd had PG or we had R. Even the movie Jaws was apparently PG, which feels crazy to me that Jaws would be PG.

So that's, you can thank Temple of Doom's monkey brains for that because it was far too full on. But there's some great critic, like movie critics that just were not a fan of these movies. This particular movie, sorry, Temple of Doom. David Kerr said, the film betrays no human impulse higher than that of a 10-year-old boy trying to gross out his baby sister by dangling a dead worm in her face.

That's how it would have compared the movie to. Ah, right. Is a 10-year-old boy trying to gross out his baby sister? It doesn't sound the same. I thought that was a scene from the movie. Ralph Novak of People magazine complained the ads that say this film may be too intense for younger children are fraudulent.

No parent should allow a young child to see this traumatizing movie. It would be a cinematic form of child abuse. Even Harrison Ford is required to slap Kwan and abuse capture. There were no heroes connected with the film, only two villains, and their names are Steven Spielberg. Whoa. Whoa. Hey, Dave, I think I just learned that Martin is a bad dad. Because I watched it on Channel 10 when I was like 12 or something.

Yeah, and look how it shaped you. That's right. I definitely did not enjoy it as much as the others. It just doesn't have the fun adventure. If I watch it now, I'd probably be like, oh, this is cool for a different reason. Yeah, it does stay in one location for most of the movie. We don't get that, you know, jet set and country hop and feeling. Oh, that sweet montage where they're traveling on a plane and, you know, it's half the plane,

but also the map and the dot moving. Love that dot. Love that dot. That sounds sick. But the bad thing about this is all these kids would have seen the first one probably loved it. And the parents would have assumed, oh, they'll be right to watch this. Yeah, great. Go ahead.

Oh, my gosh. Sounds like no one was thinking about the children. Was somebody thinking of the children? Steve, George. Come on. Well, it still had the highest opening weekend of 1994 and that year's highest grossing film. So it still did extremely well. It was the 10th highest grossing film of all time during its release.

Yeah, wow. Okay. Yeah, even though, and the critical consensus says it may be too dark for some, but Indiana Jones, the Temple of Doom, remains an ingenious adventure spectacle that showcases one of Hollywood's finest filmmaking teams in vintage form. So that's the retrospective review. And I imagine there would be some people out there who love this. They love Indiana Jones after dark.

There is, this is the sort of contrarians out there who are like, oh, I like the bad one. Oh, so it is a worst film, do you think? It's not just the darkness. I mean, everyone can have their own taste. I don't want to judge anyone too, you know, too harsh because there is a lot of cool things in this movie. So, hey, each to their own, I say, each to their own. But they are wrong. Okay.

I'm looking forward to watching them all because I'll not have any of this scared child baggage that you have and see how I end up rating them. Maybe you're up for doing the whole series on primates? Let's do it. So you might want to include what all. almost was the third movie, Indiana Jones 3 and the Monkey King. Oh, my God. Did that get made? It did not get made.

They hired Chris Columbus of Gremlin's fame to write this one. What's cool about this is that there's a podcast called Canceled Movies that do recreations of these podcasts, of these movies that didn't get made. And they even get like voice actors in to do them. You could maybe find some work doing voices for them, Matt. Yeah. Which could be good for your voice acting career. Yeah, that would be great.

I'll give you. You know, I went for. a year or so about you might have gone for this. I think a lot of people in Australian comedy went for a role on koala man and I was curious to see who ended up getting it and it was Hugh Jackman. Missed it by that much. I would put you in the same league.

Yeah, thank you. As the Jackman. So in this one, it opened in a castle in Scotland where India Jones battled a haunted suit of armour. So already this is the movie that we missed out on. was indie fighting a suit of arm which I think would have been cool this was one of the ones

that like George Lucas he'd give his ideas to a screenwriter and say hey here's a bunch of ideas slap them together in a movie make these better essentially I'll tell you just a couple

quick takeaways I listened to this episode it was really good the cancelled movies recreation of the Monkey King the love interest in this movie is Indy's teaching assistant so a little bit older than college age

but not much she's upset with him. When he tells him he's off an adventure to Africa to find the lost city of the Monkey King, she threatens to kill herself if she's not brought along. She even goes as far as creating a noose with his whip and trying to hang herself. Oh, so we're going further down the dark part. Even darker.

And then Indy stops her and says, what are you doing? Trying to break my whip. So this is not my indie. This is not my indie. And I'm so glad that they didn't make it. So what is your indie? He's not cold like this. I thought he was sort of just like a steely-eyed guy.

I sort of like an asexual indie, much in the way like most Arnie characters are asexual. Like that he's just interested in the adventure. You know, maybe smooch a woman, but yeah. But how was that not asexual? She's going, please, I want to come on. He's like, he's more worried about the whip. Well, yeah, but he's got weird priorities. No, but he clearly, like, sorry, I should, I should, maybe I should make clear they have slept

together before. Right. So he's sort of like manipulating this poor woman who has been strung along by him. And I should say, I don't think asexual people care more about whips than people. That's your understanding of what ex-sexuality is. They love whips. So this is, so at the end of the movie, this is what you can segue into in primates, is that they make it to the monkey kingdom.

And there are sentient gorillas there who they find. You know, they're sort of smart and welcoming. What does sentience mean again? That they sort of are aware of themselves. Yes, they're sort of intelligent beings. Yes. I believe that I think of gorillas as being sentient. Hey, for any guerrillas listening, great to have you.

Hey, if you have a big chunk of our audience of gorillas. Plays a different at Taronga Zoo to calm down the guerrilla population. There's a big, because the Nazis come back in this almost one. And there's a big guerrillas versus Nazis. sequence. Oh, that I'd watch. That sounds like, I'd just call them. Someone should make that movie, Gorillas versus Nazis.

The guerrillas even hijack a tank at one time and for some reason put on Nazi uniforms as well. So there's guerrillas. To go undercover. I guess so. I mean, myself. So you like movies. But yeah, sadly that movie was not made.

Instead, the movie that was made is called Indiana Jones and the last crusade. Sadly. Yeah, that's interesting. Well, I mean, for people that wanted guerrillas versus... We could have had both. Well, imagine a world where both were made. Although, they might not have been a recovery after the Monkey King. Some sort of utopia that you'd want to live in.

So this is my favourite one. So originally Spielberg didn't want the Holy Grail as a MacGuffin, but then he figured out, we could make this a Father Sun story. This doesn't have to be high fantasy. We can ground it. Spielberg is all about grounding the movie. Lucas is all about... Shooting it off in a space.

shooting it off into space. Exactly right. So this one, we have the entrance of one, Sean Connery, James Bond. Spilberg always wanted to make a James Bond movie. Money Penny? It's James. Oh, I'm sending you a fax. Did Sean Connery just walk in?

They're going to confuse the listeners. It's better than my Liam Mason. You didn't even try with your Liam Mason. That was me trying. Oh, okay. I thought I did a really good job. You were great. Thank you.

Can you do, Sean? on Connery talking to his son, Indiana Jones? Indy. Oh, that's good. I'm very disappointed. He says junior a lot in the movie. Junior. But he's like, but he's more like despondent and like questioning.

Junior. I'm a bad director. It's more like, junior, like that sort of thing. Oh, no. It's like surprised. Yeah, you don't like that. I didn't like when you did it. That's fair enough.

I was cruel to you and I was asking for them. Best opening sequence in this movie because we see Young Indiana Jones, played by River Phoenix, and we get an origin story of all the things you've been begging to have an origin story for. Why is he afraid of snakes? Where did he get his wit? Normally people hate it when things are over-explained in flashbacks, but you liked it? I mean, because I'm watching this and I must have been probably. probably nine, I reckon, when I saw this, or maybe even younger, that it was just, it was just fun.

And like, I would say, Indiana Jones 1, a certified romp, Indiana Jones 2, Temple of Doom, not a romp. Not a romp, sorry. Sorry for all the romp fans out there. Number three, you were in romp town. Yeah, back to the romp. We are romping all night. I think this one is like, well and truly, family friendly, fun, fun old time. beginning to end, lots of different locations.

It's a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to it. But I'm also looking forward to the second one to see how dark it gets. Well, you might want to watch it with the lights on. Oh, I certainly will. Bit spooky. I'll watch it outside with the sun on. On your phone.

No one can get me in the sun. Oh, have you seen tremors? No. Yeah, well, that's a movie. That's a movie. So we see the flashback. We learn about Indiana Joneses, these key things. We even learn down to a little scar upon his chin, which is actually Harrison Ford's scar.

But we learned it came from when he was trying to defend himself against a lion that he mishandled his whip and whipped his chin. Harrison Ford got it in a car accident. Less cool. Was he using a whip in the car accident? He was trying to drive with a whip, I believe. He was trying to use it as a turn signal. He can't. People couldn't figure out what he was.

was trying to communicate. Are you whipping that way? You turn it that way? We get the catchphrase that belongs in a museum, which is very exciting. And we cut to young, like young Indiana to old Indiana, still trying to recover this cross that he was trying to recover in the opening sequence. He's been chasing it for years and years. He recovers the cross and escapes before the vessel that he's on explodes, killing all aboard. He's a hero. He's a hero. That's what he does. He's a hero for getting away and letting everyone else die. Exactly. That's his whole deal.

So he gets back to university and once again, it's the guys coming in going, hey, we've got to send you on a mission. This time around, it's Walter Donovan who says, hey, we're after the Holy Grail. You should come and help us find it. Our search is run cold. And India Jones is like, hey, that's more of my dad's thing to find the ground. You should call up him. And Walt Donovan's like, we all.

already tried your dad. He's the guy who's missing on the trail. So then he's got to go find his dad. Because otherwise he's got no motivation to go because he's like, that's not really my thing. It's not really my thing. Oh, my dad is missing? My daddy's missing.

Daddy? Where's Daddy? No, Daddy. Is Daddy missing? Is Daddy Sean Con of me? So he gets to Venice and he meets Dr. Elsa Schneider, who's the main woman in this film, the woman of interest, the starlet, shall we say. Maybe we won't say that.

But this is, he gets involved. He gets involved with this woman. In sort of a weird kiss scene where he just sort of kisses her out of nowhere and then sort of necks her and says, I don't like fast women and they make out and one thing leads to another. Right. That's weird. Yeah, it is strange.

It is strange. But hey, it works for indie. So Sean Connery was very interested in contributing to his character. He had some ideas with his character. He said that everything Indiana does, his father should do better. And that included if... That was Sean Connery's idea. That's so funny.

Like he thought that, well, if Harrison Ford is going to... If Indiana Jones is going to have a physical relationship with the leading lady... I'm going to fuck her mom. No, Dr. Jones should also have... have the same relationship with the leading lady as well. Same lady. Yeah, same lady. Nah.

She's 21. The actor isn't playing 27. But yeah, it's weird. And then speaking of ages, Sean Connery, who's famously only 12 years older than Harrison Ford playing his. He looks so much older though in the movie, doesn't it? He does. Yeah, put him a gray beard, put an old man hat.

Yeah. But what's interesting, too, in the behind the scenes stuff, If you've got Sean Connery being like, I should do things better than him, and that would be funny, I suppose. And then Lucas and Spielberg are both like, oh, like that. Yeah, we credit him as giving those ideas, but like we made them funny. I think if Sean, if left of his own devices, John Conner would have just made Henry Jones, senior, a real, a real creep.

He's just like, hey, what if I also? Because I don't know. Does he have a relationship with the lady? I can't remember. Yeah, there's sort of an iconic scene where, like, Sean Connery says, like, hey, she's a Nazi. Don't trust her son. This is for the character of Elsa. And Indiana's like, no, I was going to throw my gun down.

I want to save her. And then later on, Indiana Jones says, how did you know she was a Nazi? And he says, she talks in her sleep. Oh, yeah. Can you, you want to do the line read? You don't like my Sean Connery. I don't like your shot. She talks in a sloop.

Yeah, it's good. It's good stuff. It's good stuff. It always has like a bit of a, like one eyebrow, cocked kind of thing, you know. Yuck. So there's so many like great set pieces in this movie. There's this airship scene where they're in a blimp. And India Jones pretends to be a ticket inspector and punches out a Nazi.

Oh, that's so good. And all the passengers are looking on going, oh, shit, what's going on? And then India Jones says, no ticket. And then they all hold up their tickets because they don't want to get punched off the airship as well. That's good stuff. It's good stuff. It's a bit of, and like, you sort of realize, like, how funny, like, Stephen Spielberg is. Like, he's got a good eye for comedy and action sequences and, like, just very clear with the, with the beats of the movie.

This is the movie where he meets Aldolf Hitler. Indio Jones. Aldoff. His brother. With, with Aides. Sorry, Adolf Hitler. I misspoke. I apologize for miss speaking.

I've been talking for a long time You guys don't get it You've never talked Everyone knows He's actually quite a famous guy People would have noticed You're saying the wrong name there We'll just call him Mr H to make it easier

I'd say infamous Okay No what I mean Yeah Notorious Notorious Notorious Mr H But Hitler just thinks he's getting an autograph

Any autographs Hitler's in the movie Yeah Hitler gives Indiana Jones an autograph. He's been in a few, I guess. He was in Downfall. Yes. Is that the one?

He was in that, probably in that one with Tom Cruise, where it starts German and quickly turns into an American accent. Velcrory. Yeah, Valcary. I reckon he was in. The dictator with Charlie Chaplin. In glorious bastards. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. So are your favorite, my favorite Hitler performance. Quite a filmography. Hmm. Does anyone tell me to do go on? please do go on there's an amazing biplane sequence there's this great scene where like a biplane is coming to shoot him on a beach and henry jones gets this flock of seagulls to take out the plane for him by like sweeping them with his umbrella and they they all fly away and making a very funny noise like trying to inspire them to fly into the engines of the plant to their death yeah they die yeah they all die apparently um they tried to use real sea But seagulls can't be trained.

Seagulls don't look like seagulls on film. They ended up getting white dubs and plastic seagulls. That's so funny that I used the symbol for peace and set them to their death. Yeah, they literally took down that airship as well. Someone had to die for the shop. Yeah. The movie ends with this incredible sequence of Indio Jones having to find his way to the Holy Grail. There's these different trials that he has to figure out.

Only the Penitent Man will pass. Wait, wasn't the first film The Holy Grail? That was a different thing. That was the arc of the cover. Oh, it was a different. Yeah. You can remember from the title Raiders of the Lost Ark. Okay.

Which obviously didn't remember, but yes. Sorry to speak down to you, man. I apologize. I am. It'd be hard not to do from all the way up there. What's the weather like, by the way? I am, for the listeners, I am 6'5. And the weather is, the weather is human.

I'm 5-7. I don't know how that's relevant. Yeah. You don't hear her banging on about. Okay. We're all above average. 195 centimetres for those of you who like working in centimeters. No one cares about this.

Why's he going off script here? Myself back here. Back here, please. So it ends on this incredible scene of Indy having to figure out. So they walk in and there's this old, crusty old night that's just guarding all these cups. Whoa. He's just guarding all these cups. He's been sitting there waiting for someone to come.

in and find the Holy Grail and he's got all these other sort of cups to trick you. And like, because you've got to be the one to choose the right. Now, I think I'm going to block my ears. This feels like I don't want to hear what happens here. So if you're going to go on, I'm going to. Well, I'll just, I'll just say the villain, the villain chooses the wrong cup. Because the villain's like, well, we're talking about our Lord and Savior here. Like, this is Jesus Christ.

So I'm going to choose the most glamorous. Yeah. Oh, you just not get it. A real blinged up, car. Jesus is a humble man. Exactly. He was a carpenter, as they say in the movie. I would have picked the gumboot.

The shooey for Jesus. I want to pick the Trades Flask. Oh, yeah. Traveller. Yeah, yep. I would have chosen the wooden one. Oh, good point. It's like woodeny clay sort of one.

Yeah, you guys are all dead. I was joking. I would have picked the right one. Oh, and the reason that Indy himself wants to choose one is because his father has been shot. Yes, that's right. That's how the Nazis motivate him to go through all these different tests. So he needs to... Well, just in case I missed that spoiler. Is that right, Dave? Jeez. This whole show is spoilers. Well, I know, and I'm trying to blank him out as much as I can. And here you are going, oh, by the way, in case you've missed this big one. You are a real piece of work. That's integral to

the story. You are the villain in my timeline. But don't worry because he finds the right one and he's able to save his dad. Oh, God. The touching father-son moment. Yes, and that's quite a good graphic, actually, because he's sort of bleeding from the bullet wound, and then it sort of just disappears from the Holy Water. It heals the wound, but who's to say where that bullet went? Yeah, there's plenty of opportunity for infection.

He's getting infected for sure. That bullet is travelling through his, up to his brain. But I won't spoil whether or not he gets infected. I'll keep that on the table. Now, let's just say he's going to need some antibiotics. Okay. Know what I mean? Let's just say he won't be in the next movie.

The last line of the movie we learn is, one of the last lines is we named the dog, Indiana, and we learned that, his name's Henry. His name's been Henry this entire time, and he's just been going after the dog's name for some reason. I don't know, I don't know what motivates a person to go, you know what, I'm going to start going by the dog's name. You ever thought about changing jest to your dogs for, you know? Goose. Goose. Goose Perkins.

Yeah. It is good. Speaking of, Top Gun. Yeah, that's true. It's a good name. RIP. Humphrey. Humphrey.

Humphrey's all right, yeah. I think both great names. And this was the name of George Lucas's own dog. He named it. He made the character up his own dog. Where do you get your ideas, George? Is that true? Yeah.

I never knew that. Is it a female Alaskan Malamute, who was the original source for the forename of Indiana Jones. And apparently Chewbacca from Star Wars also took inspiration from the dog, Indiana. Is this dog getting paid? This is a famous dog. And the Chewbacca, how so? I think attitude. Attitude.

You know what dogs are left. And apparently he would ride with George Lucas in the front seat of his car. I mean, he was such a big dog. Like he was like a co-pilot. Right. Oh. Yeah. So, yeah, inspired.

That was like, what if dog alien, you know? George Lucas is a genius, is what I'm saying. He's a creative genius and we all need to give him more credit. I'm sorry about what I said before. All right, we're into the pointy end of this report because here we are. We've had the trilogy. Is that it for Indiana Jones? There was a mini-series called Young Indiana Jones.

So it was a TV show. It was sort of designed to be educational. And young Indiana Jones would meet a lot of famous people, probably a lot of people that have come up in Dugan reports like Tolstoy. Have you done Tolstoy before? We have not. Oh, you haven't. Picasso, Louis Armstrong.

We haven't done this. We did it in Picasso painting theft. Yeah, that's why I did the Segment Freud. Churchill, we did his ministry of ungentlemanly warfare. Ernest Hemingway? I did a book cheater on one of his books. Well, Indiana Jones, young Indiana Jones, met all of these guys, apparently along the way. He also fights James Bond, Daniel Craig guest stars on one of the episodes.

Is it a cartoon or is it live action? It's live action, like apparently extremely expensive as well. Young Daniel Craig, are you serious? Yeah. And he fought. As James Bond. No, as one of the Kaiser in World War I, he also felt in World War I. He's a busy guy, Indiana Jones.

And he also once fought Dracula as well. Yep. Makes sense. Which is really fun. So now Lucas is going, hey, this gives me an idea. What if now India Jones is, you know, in the 1950s? And if he's in the 1950s when we follow that B-movie idea, then we should go and have him fight aliens.

A lot of the 1950s movies would deal with like invaders from outer space and invasion of the body snatches and those sort of Cold War-esque someone's coming to get-jib type things. And Spielberg was not into it. And Ford was not into it as well. He said, no way am I being in a Steven Spielberg movie like that. And Spielberg had already made Close Encounters of the Third Kind and ET. So he just didn't want to.

They weren't interested in bringing aliens. It feels like it would have been a strong. Like, I don't mind it personally, but it feels like the fandom wouldn't have loved it. Quite a left-hand turn. Well, speaking of spoilers. I think it would have been, I think it would have been strange as well. So there was no 90s in the A Jones movie, even though there could have been. Early 2000, Spilberg's son apparently said, hey, one's the next indie movie coming out?

And they got inspired again. They were talking about this idea of like getting aliens from a different. dimension? Okay, maybe not from out of space. What about a different dimension? Like, Lucas is trying anything to try and like, hey, come on, I want to do aliens. And they talked and Spielberg thought about the idea of using these crystal skulls to ground the idea. Apparently, that grounds it in Spielberg's eyes. That movie's about aliens. Well, crystal skulls apparently are a real thing. Well, this is interesting. I read about this. Crystal skulls are real in that they have been made and they have been found, but it seemed more like these people in the 19th, 18th century made these

crystal skulls in Germany and then pretended that they were from a more ancient era. And they're like, oh, look what we dug up. And then people are like, I think you, I think you just made that. I think you just made that up. M. Knight Shamelane. I can always get his name. Shemalayan. He was recruited to write a version of the next movie, which I cannot find a record of.

but we can imagine what an M-night Indiana Jones movie could have been, and it could have been awful, I assume. I can only assume, judging by his films. Then, sorry everyone out there, getting so bitchy towards the end. I get catty sometimes. I love it. So, Indiana Jones 4 was almost the city of the gods,

and this also is another cancelled movies podcast. They recreate this one as well, which I listened to. This was by Frank Darabont, who also wrote a possible Mission Impossible 3, a possible Mission Impossible 3 script that didn't get made. But he's famous for the Shawshank Redemption and a bunch of other films. In this movie, it's very similar to what became the Crystal Skull, but he had a few sort of things that came in it, like Sean Connery popped up in his. And there was this kind of cool, kind of corny moment where Indiana Jones gets fired.

He gets really drunk. He's wandering through the university, fed up about his life and he feels lonely. And he sees the idol from the first movie. It's now on display in a university case, like behind glass and on an alarm. And he decides, I'm going to steal that idol. Steal it with a bag of sand. And he goes over to a, what do you call it, like the cigarette where you put your cigarettes out. and he gets some sand from the cigarette.

The ashtray. Thank you so much. I don't smoke. It's a dirty habit. He gets some sand from the ashtray. Puts it into a bag and recreates that scene from the first movie and steals the idol. And then the alarm goes off and then he gets attacked by Nazis. So I like that.

But then he's always banging on about how these things need to be protected. They need to be on display somewhere. You see a museum, but at university, close enough, he's nicking it. What's he going to do with it? Well, he's drunk and upset, okay? He's an old man in this movie and he's just, it's not getting any love. You haven't seen this one? Well, this one didn't get made.

No, I actually haven't. Answer the question, Dave. This one was almost called the Atomic Ants or Indiana Jones on the saucer men, Indiana Jones and the giant ants. Oh, no. Indiana Jones and the mushroom cloud. And the giant ants, that's so bad. David Kep was brought on and the movie was almost called Indiana Jones and the destroyer of worlds based on the J. Robert Oppenheimer quote.

But then it was changed to the kingdom of the crystal skull. Now, this is really regarded as the worst one and we're going to spend the least amount of time on it. Dave, what's your relationship with the crystal skull? I enjoyed it. I saw it at the cinema. First time I'd seen in Indiana Jones at the movies. and yeah, I thought it wasn't as good as one and three, the other romps. But I don't think it's as bad as everyone said,

because everyone was pissed off that there's aliens, but it's like, well, if you're on board with a seven, you know, 2,000-year-old old man hiding the Holy Grail, I mean, you're probably on board with aliens, right? Yeah, there's always been fantasy in it, which I think is strange as well, but go, what's, what is this, why is this happening? There's aliens and they're from a different dimension,

and they only reveal it at the end. Yeah, and then the first one There's got the arc that literally melts people's faces. But people also had a problem. There's a sequence early on on this movie where Ineo Jones is running away from Russians. Russians are the bad guy and Kate Blanchet

is the main evil Russian. She's interested in psychic warfare and being able to defeat her enemies using just her psychic powers. And Ineo Jones runs away into this model village type thing and it's like, why are all these mannequin people in this village? It turns out it's a testing ground for nuclear bombs.

And Indiana Jones, the alarm starts going off. He's like, uh-oh, a nuclear bomb's going to get dropped on this town. And in order to protect himself, he goes into a fridge, which is iron-coated, iron-plate. Lead, sorry, lead-led plates. Oh, this is the idea that was taken from the Back to the Future original script. Yes, I believe so. Yeah, the original testing site for the back to the future. The time travel was going to do that.

That was going to be, yeah, rather than a car, it was going to be like a fridge or whatever. Yeah, so, and then he is able to survive. He flies off in the fridge, lions, rolls out, and he's like, oh, dusts himself off. And they actually did that on Mythbusters and it. Full nuclear test. And, like, I think that's a bit of fun. Like, what you know. Exactly.

It's like, it's really silly, but it's, I think that's a bit of fun. People also complain about this monkey sequence later in the movie. I'm loving it. We meet, um, Indiana Jones's son. who is sort of like one of the riders wanted to make him a nerd, but once again, Lucas got his way and wanted to make him a cool guy, sort of a one of those motorcycle rebel without a cause type people, a greaser, they call him.

Is it Shia LaBuff? Yeah, it's Shire LaBuff, which also people were not really fans of, but he was like, he was the guy. He was the guy at the time. There's this sequence where, like, Shire's trying to catch up with these guys in the jungle, and he's stranded, and he's in these trees, and he sees these monkeys swinging through the trees, and he's like, oh, maybe I also can swing on vines. And he sort of teams up with the monkeys and swings through the trees. That does sound awesome. And the monkeys aren't really very well realized, CGI at why, so it just looks a little bit.

All character wise. We don't know what's motivating. They're not really fleshed out that well. So, yeah, this is a sort of father-son tale. His son's name is mutt, which is not a great name. His name is Mutt Williams. Well, also named after a dog. Yeah, we call the dog Mutt.

Mutt. Yeah, Mutt. Sure. And Williams. Mutt Williams. Okay. And Indy doesn't know that he's his son at the time. So they go off in this adventure.

He's like, my mom's in peril. You know this other arch. archaeologist named Oxley, his interest in these crystal skulls, we've got to go and like beat the Russians to get this crystal skull. So India's off on the, off on adventure once more, despite him feeling a little bit too old for this shit. And he learns that much, mom is Marion and so they're reunited. So there's a sort of, oh, wow, Marian and India back together again now in much more favourable ages, which is nice to see. I mean, she's still younger than him, but at least she's not 16 and his 27, because that's not great.

What else can I tell you about this movie? So this movie ends with aliens being revealed. A skull is placed upon this alien skeleton, and then it opens up this portal, and then, sorry, I'm sorry, Matt. This is the one you sort of want to sports, so you don't want to really have to go and watch Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. And unfortunately, Kate Blanchett does, she doesn't make it out alive. What?

Yeah, sorry. And that's our Kate. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Kate. Sorry, Kate. At the end of the movie, there's this moment where Marion and Indy get married. And as they're making their way out of the church. He's Marion, Marion, Marion, Marion. He's Marion, Marion, Marion, he's Marion and Marion.

And the wind blows the door open and the door knocks Indy's hat off a hat rack. and the hat rolls over to Shail Abuff, who is about to reach down and pick up the hat and the swell of the Indiana Jones theme begins to play. And just as Shailabuff is about to pick it up, Indy swoops in and puts it upon his own head and Shia LaBuff just watches him walk away with the hat. And this, and I could feel like the whole movie theater.

I remember watching this with my friends, just get like a shiver down their spine sort of going, there's no way I'm watching an Indiana Jones movie where Shire LeBuff is... So they love that... They loved that the fake out was a fake out. I think so because Spilberg has been quoted as saying it's certainly not my intention to ever have another actor

step into his shoes and the way that there have been many actors that have played Spider-Man or Batman. There is only going to be one actor playing Indiana Jones and that's Harrison Ford. Yeah, right. Because... And it truly is like, he's not a really interesting character to like explore the different parts of.

He is Harrison Ford. And Harrison Ford brings so much to that character. Who would be the modern day one? Be Chris Pratt, probably, right? Well, that's what people were sort of talking about when they were chatting about, like, the next Indiana Jones, because it's always the most boring idea in terms of cast. Yeah, yeah.

It's like, let's get Chris Pratt in. But I think Chris Pratt is now done. Like, it's like, let's get rid of Chris Pratt as the go-to guy, especially after all those Jurassic World movies tanked. Did they tank the Jurassic? Well, the last. ones did. Yeah, right.

Did you see Jurassic Park Dominion? I didn't. I just assumed they were big hits. Oh yeah, I watched the on the plane. I mean, they're all the same movie. Evil person brings dinosaurs back despite everyone telling them it's a bad idea. It goes wrong. They're not all the same movie.

The last one has locusts in it more than dinosaurs. Yeah, but they were all sort of. They're all similar. Well, I'll come back into the Jurassic Park movie. Okay, great. So we can chat about that. So we're coming to the end. But there's another, there's another Jurassic,

there's another Indiana Jones movie. What have we been talking about this whole time? Yeah. There's another Indiana Jones movie on the horizon. I might have a little inside scoop here, guys. When I was in, I was in Morocco last year, one of the tour guides said, they filmed a bit of Indiana Jones down this street.

Wow. I took a photo of that street. Wow, you're going to be able to sell that for a lot of cash. Did they say which Indiana Jones? The next one. All right. Just quickly, again, gotcha here. Uh-oh.

Dominion is the third highest grossing of the Jurassic Park ones. So, Fallen Kingdom the second most and Jurassic World the first. So the 2015, 2018 and 2022 of those three, I mean, that would be inflation or whatever, but they're all, I think they're all doing okay, mate, so you don't have to worry about it. He's a third most of the three movies. It did the worst. Oh, sorry, third most of the series. Oh.

Because there was the original trilogy, but the new three, the three highest grosser. This is not a gotcha. The ultimate I'm actually moment from that over here. Yeah. So the next movie is going to be called the Dial of Destiny. How do we feel about that title? Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. What could it mean?

It's going to be phone related, I guess. I like it. It's going to get his first phone. Dial D for Destiny. Oh, that's good. Or M for murder. Like Alfred Hitchcock ones tried to dial. Well, no, I think that's what I was referencing, but I don't think that would work here because it's already been done.

Dial, I'm for murderousness, the Chrome McClure film. You've, Marcel, you're way off here. So this next movie, Spilberg's not directing, and George Lucas, you know, is just an executive producer. It's being directed by James Mangold, who you might know from the Logan movie or the Three Tender Humour remake. So I think it's exciting to get someone else involved. Get some young, young girl. People love Logan, right? Al-Harrison, though.

His 80, his 80 years old. Oh, yeah. All right, so he'll have to keep playing. But will he be more of a Sean Connery-type father of the guy again? I think so. And they have some footage of him being aged down in some of the sequences. So we'll see some young indie. People are a bit nervous about how much of the movie will be like him.

And if you've seen the Irishman, did anyone see that movie? No, no. Too long. Well, he gets. Like Robert De Niro gets aged down and Joe Pesci gets aged down in Al Pacino, but you can still see that they're old performers. So like there are moments where it's like, oh, wow, amazing technology that their face looks so young.

But then you see them moving and they do fly old. They've all got hunchbacks. Yeah. Yeah, it's very, it's jarring. So in this movie, Sala's going to come back. So John Rhys Davis is back. And now, and joining them will be Phoebe Waller Bridge from Fleabag fame, playing Marcus Brody's daughter.

I didn't give much of a shout out to Marcus Brody, but he's also an excellent character in it who plays Indiana Jones's university colleague. She'll break that fourth wall. Yeah, she'll turn to the moving and say, I wonder if we're going to have but sex later. Hey, you're meant to be the one who saves this movie. We both do really great Phoebe Waller Ridge in personation.

Antonio Banderas is joining the cast and the villain is going to be Madd's mix. Nicholson. Oh, great film. Everyone loves, everyone loves Mads. We don't have much of a synopsis for the next one, but IMDB says, experience the return of the legendary hero, Indiana Jones, and the fifth installment of this beloved swashbuckling series of films.

A new era. Swashbuckling. Yep. I wouldn't say that Indiana Jones is a swashbuckler, but still. He always kind of think shush buckling's on the high seas, but it doesn't have to be. Maybe this could be land swashbuckling. I think that's usually like, a sort of brave, daring-do sort of hero who is always sort of a little cocky, quick to talk back.

Right. You know. He's not like that. Always has a quip. I don't, like, he's not quippin. He ain't a quipper. I thought you didn't give a quip earlier. You mentioned a quip.

Don't, don't, that belongs in a museum. That's not a quip. No, not that one. I hate snakes. I'm worried about my whip. I don't like, I don't like fast women. Yeah. I don't worry about my whip.

That's a dame. Dark quip, but it's still a quip. And I also wasn't from a film that got made. Two things before we go. Real world inspirations. So one of the real world inspirations that might come up in a future episode is Percy Harrison Fawcett. Whoa, that is close to Harrison Fawc. Yeah, wow.

He, uh, possibly the individual most often touted as an inspiration of Indiana Jones as Percy Harrison Fawcett. A British army officer, surveyor and daring jungle explorer, Forcett's life story reads like a plot of an adventure novel or. action film. He spent much of the two last decades of his life exploring the deep and unknown jungles of South America going on frequent long expeditions while still finding time to serve on the front line in the First World War. For the last 10 years or so of his life, of his known life stemming from his research and studies in archaeology, he became convinced that in the

depths of Brazil's mighty Amazon rainforest was a lost city. He believed this should be the ruins of an ancient and once mighty civilization. He called this city Zee, or Or as some people would say, Zed. What are we supposed to say in Australia? Zed. Okay. In May 1925, Forcett, his son Jack and his son's friend, Rayleigh Rimmel, left dead horse camp in the middle of the Maddo Grosso region

in the heart of Brazil to find Z. They were never seen or heard from again. And theories about their fate range from them living out their days with the remote tribe revered as kings to them being murdered. Forcett actually becomes a character One of the Indiana Jones novels There's like novels There's comic books

There's video games He appears in Indiana Jones In The Seven Vails As a character He went missing But Forcett was actually successful As a character To find the city of sea

Where he was held within the city's walls As a breeder During that time He was manipulated into fathering Five children by different women posing as his wife So this is sort of a twisted thing For a novelist to be like

Yeah, wow. Twist it, like taking a real life person being like, what if he was captured and turned into a breeder for this city? That's strange. There is a movie, I think it's called The Lost City of Z, which I saw a few years ago. It's pretty dark. It's not a romp, but it's really well made. And lastly, when Hans Solo met Indiana Jones.

What? How is that possible? There's a 10-page non-canon comic story that they published. Within its pages, Hans Sol and Chewbacca pilot their starship, the Millennium Falcon blindly into hyperspace, and ended up crashing into the planet Earth's Pacific Northwest. Solo was attacked and killed by a group of Native Americans, and 126 years later, his skeleton is discovered by the archaeologist

Indiana Jones who finds him somewhat familiar. Wait, so this means that the galaxy far, far away was 160 years ago. Wasn't that actually that far, that long ago? Yeah, what did they say? say it's like galaxy a long time ago india 160 years i guess a long time in a galaxy far it's a while i was assumed it was thousands of yeah me too there you go it's all relative yeah and he what discovers the body and goes that's a beautiful skull well he he's in the forest because he's searching for the fabled Sasquatch who is in fact Chewbacca oh my god oh wow

yeah so it's a fun little it's a fun little stupid thing um a fun little silly coming book. So when you say he meets him, he meets his decomposed remains. Yeah. I thought he was going to reanimate him or something. This guy looks familiar for some reason, the Great Unknown. Yeah, they didn't, yeah, it was going to be too silly to get them to meet at the same time. It's sort of, yeah, sort of sad in a way.

I don't know why I use the word silly. He's looking at his own skeleton face to face with his own death. Yeah. Bit of a gag to end on. Five stars. Wow. Yeah, so how do we feel? being overwhelmed with indie.

I feel excited. I feel keen to watch a movie. Yeah, I'm going to re-watch them all. I'm trying to blank out the plot points as much as I can, trying to forget. As I said, I had very detailed synopsies, but with the ticking clock and with like, all right, I don't want to break my record from the last episode.

You're talking about the ticking clock like you've been racing. Dave, how long will we go for approximately? Two hours and 20 minutes. Oh, yeah, sorry, a bit speedy, mate. He's fucking good. And I didn't want to spoil it for it either. I didn't want to go into that brazier level of detail. Love Michelle's Fast and a Furious episode.

But she also went through nine movies. This is true. You've gone into exactly the same amount of detail. I talked about four movies plus two or three that were made and one that's about to be made. The good news is I can't remember anything Michelle said last year and I've only seen the first two of those movies. So I can go blind into those. Oh man, Fast and Furious is the best. Yeah, I'm the same.

I can't really remember much at all. There was a cliff in one of a movie? Well, you keep, you famously keep saying that nothing that you say on those episodes gets retained at all. Yeah, that's right, mate. You'll leave this building, you'll be fine. Pre-re-re-watch Dave, what's your ranking of the four? One. You really can't remember because Dave's been saying it, like, he said it multiple times.

Yeah, one three, two, four. One-three-four. That's also Dave's pin number as well. Yeah, that's because I remember Indiana. Is that pretty, is that the classic ordering? I'd say most people would have. I put three first because that's the one I fell in love with. Yeah, sure, sure.

So, three, one, two, four. So four is sort of consensus bad or worse. It just was not. It was never going to reach the same heights. Well, the next one, you know, redeem. I don't have my host for it, but I'll go see it at the movies. The hope is that, like, Wolverine Origins was a terrible. X-Men Origins Wolverine was a terrible movie,

and we didn't want that to be the last time we saw Wolverine. So then when Logan came out, we were like, Oh, great. That's a nice swung song. Yeah. Swan song. And now he's going again. Now we hope, yeah, now he's come back with Deadpool.

But now our hope is that Indiana Jones gets a nice little send off in this one. That would be nice. Yeah. I think I'll just say that I think I'm easier to please than most Indiana Jones fans. The same with Star Wars. I like them all. I find them all fun and, you know, whatever. And you love all the Jurassic Park movies.

You're like prime audience are buying tickets to just anything. Whatever slop will be put in front of you. Just like blockbustery type movie? I mean, I enjoyed it. Aliens versus Predator Requiem for God's sake. Yeah, strange film. Aliens versus Predator Requiem for a dream. Yeah, wow, that was a dark movie.

Well, thanks so much for joining us, Marcel. My absolute pleasure. I never want to think about Indiana Jones again, so I'm glad that you're inspired. Yeah, did you do like a multi-rewatch? I watched all of Crystal Skull. I watched most of the rest of them, but I spent most of my time, like,

watching behind the scene stuff. Yeah, cool. sort of thing, things that I hadn't seen before. Absorb at all. I watched almost a full episode of the young Indiana Jones, which is not. Almost a full episode. They're all on YouTube and they've been sort of changed into feature length. They were originally episodic, but now they're into features.

And so they're a bit of a slug for something that isn't of that same quality. Harrison Ford's in one of them and he plays a saxophone and he defeats. As in his character is a saxophone. Or he picks up a saxophone as he's waiting as he's just like killing time. But then these bad guys try and take away this particular piece pipe that he's tried to recover. And then the bad guys are walking out of this cabin that's covered in snow. And Indiana Jones sits back, picks up the saxophone and starts playing a particular note on the saxophone that stirs up the snow on the roof. that then falls upon the henchmen that have the piecepipe

and he wanders over and collects the piecepipe. So we also know that he has that skill. So you think you're a bit far-fetched, is that what you're saying? Yeah, I think I am saying that. Well, thanks so much for joining us, myself. Really appreciate you coming and telling us all about Indiana Jones, some of my favorite characters of all time. But if we want to see more of you live in the flesh

improvising with your wife, is that possible? It is possible. Thank you so much for asking that extremely specific question. I've got a weird list of requests. Yeah, find me on Instagram. I'm Marcel the comedian, easy to find. And we are the newlyweds improv so you can look up times for Melbourne Comedy Festival. And also, I know you've got listeners around the world.

We're planning to come to Edinburgh later in the year as well under the Edinburgh fringe. Awesome. And a few other surrounding shows in the UK. So, yeah, look us up because we may be coming to your town. sooner than you think. And they are great. Yeah, that's threatening, but I love them. We may be outside your door right now.

And we're back in the room. Now it is time for everyone's favorite part of the show. And it's just Dave and Jess here hanging out with you. We've lost Marcel. He's gone back to Sydney. We said, please don't go. He said, that's where I live. That's where my wife is and my dog and my family.

And we said, Marcel, no. And I went back and forth for a while. but he has gone back to his home. Matt has also gone home. He's going to Sydney to see Marcel's wife and dog. Because Matt was really struggling with Marcel leaving. Yeah, because Marcel was saying, I've got to go. He started talking about how great his wife is, how good his dog is, how good Sydney is,

and Matt said, I'm sold, I'm coming with you. I'm in. And he got in Marcel's suitcase. Matt sort of blacked out, woke up, he'd bought tickets. It's not the first time it's happened. I genuinely not. Yeah, so anyway, we are here to do everybody's favorite section of the show where we get to thank some of our delightful patrons, people who support us over on

patreon.com forward slash jigger on pod. You can join as well if you would like to. You get to vote on topics. You get to enjoy three bonus episodes per month. That's right. And there's 160-ish in the back catalogue that you can get straight away. There's a lot. Yeah. And you get to be part of the most beautiful part of the internet, which is a little Facebook group. I love that group. And recently that group and run on Patreon was, dare I say, treated to the do-go-on awards. Yeah, the do-go-on-on-is. We had a full award ceremony this year, live from Stupid Old Studios, that you can

still watch if you join us on Patreon. We had guests, we had songs, we had, we had, it was just a great time. Have you, Dave, had to explain to anybody what you were up to that night? Because people were like, how was your weekend or people saw it on Instagram? This is like people in my real life or at my other job. and they're like, oh, I saw the awards show. What was that? What was that about?

And I was like, well, it's like a funny thing. It's not only just a podcast we do, we vote on. But this time we did a full-on awards show with like, there was a crane camera, and we had a musical number. There was a crew about nine people working on it. Yeah, it was a lot. And it was so fun. And so, yeah, if you want to check that out, you can just join up on Patreon,

and it'll be there for you. I think I just avoided seeing people because you don't have to explain it to the outsiders. And it was such, because it was also the weekend of the whole. Hotest 100. Yeah, a very big weekend for you. So I had not a lot of sleep at all. It was just running on fumes. And so people would be like, oh, congrats on the hottest 100.

Oh, and then you had this awards show? And I have to explain. It was like, yes, look, I did have an awards show. It was mostly us giving awards to ourselves. So it's a lot of fun. Definitely go and check that out. It was something really special that we got to do. But what we're going to do right now is a little section that we like to call

the fact, quote, or question. It's got a little jingle. that goes a little something like this. Fact quote or question. Ding! He always remembers the ding. She always remembers the sing. It's really hard being Matt and Jess at the same time.

So thank you for taking care of the Dave section. Doing a great job. I will try my first. This is where some of our delightful patrons on the Sydney-Shineberg deluxe level, is it Dave? Yeah, the memorial package. That's right. They get to submit a fact, a quote, a question, a brag, a suggestion. It can be literally anything.

they wanted to be. We've had recipes. This is, you know, for them. And they also get to give themselves a title. So let's get stuck in this week. Our first fact quote of question comes from Michael Derritsy. And Michael has given themselves the title of Red Hot Comic Book movie news shooting up your butt hole. Grab that jam. And Michael has given us a quote. And that quote is banana. Banana. That's obviously a very famous quote. from Jess Bob Perkins. And where does that come from, Jess? Michael might have just noticed a bit of a pattern in that if I'm asked to, like, just think

of a word, like, even if I go to an improv show and they're like, can I get a word? Just any random word. I always say banana. Banana. All right, we need a location. Banana shop. Okay. Banana farm.

Occupation. Banana farmer. It's all I think of is banana. It sounds like you're ruining the show, but that's the job. That is genuinely what your mind is doing. Right. First thing I go to is banana. I think it's a satisfying word, but it's just the first thing I think of.

So if you're ever needing to, like if there's two of me and you're wanting to figure out who is the clone, just, and this is a conversation you and I have all the time. Yep. I know this. Just say, like, give me, any random word, first thing you think of, one, two, three, I'll say banana. And they'll say. Chimichanga. And I'll say, I'm afraid it's a good night for you. Chimichunga.

Push them out the window. Thank you. Correct. The closest thing I've ever had to that is. is when I used to care about Twitter and be like, all right, I really should be writing some jokes to put it out there. I'd be like, what's funny, what's funny, what's funny? And the first phrase that would always come to my head was Russian roulette. Oh, yeah.

Nothing funny about it. But it's fun to say. Terrifying game. But yeah, and I never wrote any sort of tweets or jokes about it, but I'd always think Russian roulette. Didn't help. Didn't help. Yeah, okay. First thing that popped into my mind.

So that's how you know. You get me and my clone to draft a tweet with two words. I'll have Russian roulette. Okay, great. This is so important that we have these conversations. Let this be a reminder to you listening to have these conversations with your loved ones. Absolutely. So they know which one of you to shoot.

Exactly. The shadow window. Okay. Your life could depend on this. Yes. So don't let the clones win. It's very important. And we wouldn't have thought of that without our great man, Michael Duryzzi.

Yeah. Thank you for bringing that quote to everybody's attention as it deserves to be. next we have Andrew Swibbs Swibsy It's fun to say Swibsy It's fun to say

And Swibsey's giving himself a title Champion of getting what is probably too excited about stuff and future keeper of facts for Gary

Indiana Oh an important job Very important Swabsie has a brag this week which we absolutely love Very welcome

So my first For my first submission Matt is written in brackets, that's me. I'm reading this now because normally it's Matt. But it's just this time Swibsy. I'm so sorry. 99% of the time it is Matt.

Yeah. So my first submission, Matt naturally called me Swibsy and I was just pumped. We just did it again. Probably too pumped to get an Aussie nickname of sorts. Then my second one that came up during Block where Nick Mason just naturally called me the same thing. And they said it a few more times before

Sassy Matt came out. that's, I mean, he's always there. Sassimad is always lurking below the surface. Anyway, now I've been trying to get people in Chicago to call me Swibsy. It won't catch on, but I can dream. I would love to imagine what you're trying to. No, call me Swabsie. Call me Swibsy. It would happen instantly in Australia. You could not get away from that name, Swibsy. Guess I have to keep up with my Sydney-Shineberg level so I can keep hearing you all say it while hopefully becoming the official keeper of facts about Gary, Indiana. friends.

You're the official swabsie of this podcast. Yeah, easily. And it's a role we take very seriously. That's right. We auditioned thousands. Thanks, Swibsy. That's so funny that we were immediately like Swibsy. And then his brag is that we keep saying Swibsy.

That's great. Imagine if he was like a question, can you please stop calling me Swibsy? And we're like, oh, no. Our next fact quote of question comes from Nathan Swap. Nathan's giving himself a title, Wizard of mundane curses. I love that And Nathan's giving us a question Says if you could put a magical curse on someone

You don't like in your life What would it be? Nothing harmful of course I mean it's a curse I don't see how that's not harmful in some way It looks like Nathan has answered his own question Which we obviously love For example I would make it so that my arch nemesis

Would catch every red light every time they drive Oh that's good That is pretty good I at work the other day This was during the Like the hottest 100 Countdown And a song from Vance Joy came on

Like a very well-known Australian artist Fantastic acclaimed Quite famous Big seller Really beloved And comes across as such a lovely guy Yeah One of my colleagues was like

Fucking Vance Joy Really And I was like you don't like Vance Joy I don't like him And he couldn't He was like he seems really nice I don't know why I just

And he was like If I could snap my finger as an end one person's career. It would be Vance Joy. What a strange, like... Yeah. Yeah, and he was like, I acknowledge that I could like save lives or really impact the world if I ended somebody else's career,

but it would be Vance Joy. I think that's so funny. Yeah, wowsers. A curse, you could put on someone you don't like. Yeah, firstly, Dave, you have to try and think of somebody you don't like. Okay, but I don't want to name them because I don't want to publicly know. No. So this person I'm thinking, what about...

Because there's no one that I truly hate that I know. Yeah. That makes sense. Obviously, there's evil people in the world that everyone knows about. But people that in my immediate life, I don't know anyone truly evil that I hate, hate, hate. So thankfully, it is not going to be a super harmful curse. But what about something like they're more likely to step in a puddle? Because I hate, I personally hate a wet sock more than nearly anything in this world.

Yeah, they can really ruin a day. Yeah, a wet sock. I would similarly, I would say that, like, they always have cold feet. Oh, okay. Or really hot feet. Because if my feet are too hot, I melt down. And you think this person should experience it all the time? All the time.

They can never get their feet to a comfortable temperature where they don't have to think about it. Right now, I'm not thinking about my feet because they're just a regular temperature. Yeah. But when my feet are too cold or if my feet are really hot, oh my God, I'm a nightmare. I think hot.

I think they always have really hot feet. So this is not the kind of thing we'd say, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy because you have just done. I wish I always have really hot, sweaty feet. Oh, no matter what. They cannot cool them down. Pull down those puppies. And they're just, oh, they're just feeling so uncomfortable all the time. Yeah.

I know, but I hate this person. You thinking of someone? No. Oh, okay. But if you were. They got hot feet. Hold that for your enemies. Not like sexy feet, like hot feet, not I mean?

Yeah, yeah. Thank you, Nathan. I love to think about that. Interesting question for yourselves at home. Ask yourself, who's your enemy and what would you do to them. But I mean, I'm thinking about what would really drive me crazy too. So there's a lot about me, doesn't it? Yeah, that's right.

Also, I wouldn't be putting it out there because someone, if they have the power. No! We'll put that curse on you because they instantly know what you hate. Okay, well, you're going to have wet feet now. Wet socks all the time. Damn it. I'm an idiot too. We're both idiots.

Finally, for the fact we're a question section. I would love to thank Tessa Chilcott. and Tessa's title is president of the Shits and Giggles Department. Well. And it's an important job. Very important. Important role. Tessa has given us a fact.

And that fact is, in Israel, it is illegal to bring a beer to the beach. No idea why it became illegal. Fun to imagine that situation, though. Loll. To bring a beer or a bear. Bear. It's bare. Because, you know, there's quite a few beaches in Australia where over summer.

It's illegal to drink alcohol down there. But we do. People absolutely do. But... You can't bring a bear to that. What if my bear... It's like the last day of my bear's life, you know? I immediately went to Teddy Bear.

You're thinking... It obviously is a real bear, isn't it? Oh yeah, I guess so. Like, it's a grizzly. You couldn't bring a toy bear? I don't know why. Wow. Maybe you could bring like a bear cub and say it's a Chow-Cow.

Chow-Cow's look a little bit like a bear. I love a bear. I love a little bit. Did you? Yeah. My dad loves them. I didn't know that. I know that, yeah.

Huh. So I walk the dog with a group of friends a couple of times a week, and one of those dogs is a chow-chow. I didn't know what color. Black. Yes. And he's like nine years old, and he's like a bit over the walk sometimes. So now she has a pusher for him, like a pram.

No. Yes. And he'll still walk like a K or two, and then he's like, I'm done. I'm getting in. He gets in the pram. And still would look at everyone like, yeah. Oh, he has the best. I mean, all the other dogs are jealous.

They're like, why the fuck does Raff get to get in the pram? for the chow-chow. I'll show you pictures. He's gorgeous. That's fantastic. So sorry, Tessa, that I read that wrong. It is not bring a beer to the beach. It's bring a bear. It's a much more interesting fact than bring a beer to the beach. I'm sorry. You're right. What kind of situation had to occur for that to become a law? Something had to go horribly wrong. It's so much better when it's read properly, Tessa. So I apologize, but what a great, what a great fun fact. Well, that brings us to the end of the fact quote or question section. Now, this is a couple of other things that we need to do as well, Dave. How are we going to split this up? How are we going to do

this. Usually we shout out to a few other people by reading out where they're from and their name to thank them for supporting us on the shout-out level or above. Yeah. And usually, Jess, you come up with a bit of a game. Oh, yeah. What was that, Indiana Jones, okay. What if we gave them, you know how it's always like Indiana Jones and the temple of Doom?

Yes. Or like, what if we gave them and the? Do you know what I mean? I love it. Jess Perkins and the drink bottle of Doom. That's always Doom. It doesn't have to always be Doom. I just saw a drink bottle.

Remember a few weeks ago I mentioned, I used to listen to the Dave Gorman radio show where they had a segment called Pun Street where I mentioned there was a hairdresser that I didn't understand. I didn't get the pun, but it was called Salon Lebonne. It's supposed to be like Simon Lebon from Duran Duran. That's the one I remember. The other one I remember is they had a pet shop called Indiana Bones and the temp, no, sorry, it's a dog grooming and the temple of groomed. Oh, that's great. That is fantastic. One that stuck with me because, I loved it and the other ones sell on the bond because I was so perplexed. That is still very confusing.

That's great. Yeah, what do you reckon? We give them an ANTHA. And the, yes, yes, love it. Okay. Well, do you want to go, do you want to, sometimes when there's just two of us, we go, let's just go back and forth. And inevitably, somebody always forgets we're going back and forth.

Okay. Great. So you just want to go first. You do the first four. Then you do. I do five. Great. I'll volunteer.

I'll step up. Great. Okay. Well, I would love to kick things off. And these are people that support us on the ars prod, associate producer level and above, I believe. It's all written on patreon.com. It's nice and clear over there.

We totally, we do forget, we just forget. I'm confident it's ass prod. It is the ars prod level or above. You're absolutely right. Over on patreon.com forward slash do go on pod. Hang on, I'm going to sneeze. Became a laugh. I bless you.

Thank you. Okay, first I would love to thank from now. us in County Kildare in Ireland, uh, Gene Temple. She's already, they've already got Temple. Temple. Temple. The Temple. Of Jean.

Of Jean. What about Jean Temple and the Temple of Jeans and Indiana Jones? Like, it's jeans dressed like Indiana Jones, but they're wearing denim, like a full denim. Yes. Yeah. And everything in this temple is denim. That's incredible. That's great.

First cab, off the rank. I loved that. I would also love to thank from Perth in Western Australia, Celeste Hadia Ali. Celeste, oh, that's really rolled off the song. Doesn't it? Ali, you like it a lot. Yeah, I remember Celeste suggesting a topic, and it might have even been Mary Celeste or something. I could be wrong there, sorry, Celeste.

And phonetically and telling us how to say their name, and I might have just butchered it, or we might be right. I hope you felt right, because I do love it. It's great. So it's Celeste Haji Ali and the mysterious broom. Yes, mysterious broom. What does it mean? Who knows?

Find out. You have to watch this two and a half hour movie to find out. It's exciting. It's only revealed on the final scene. It's a face melting broom. Roll credits. The most, the upcoming Indiana Jones is and the dial of destiny. So the mysterious broom isn't that out of the other.

Oh, no. I think it's fantastic. That's not getting a bit defensive. Let's not forget. Yeah, let's not forget that that's pretty good. I would also love to thank from Reservoir in Victoria, Peter Short. Peter Short. Peter Short and the river of destiny.

Oh, that sounds nice. That sounds good. It sounds like it's quite, it's like a paradise. Yeah, it does, doesn't it? I can imagine it. But with like a darkness underneath, you know? Like it, you'd be like, wow, an oasis, cool. And you're like enjoying it for a bit.

And then like some members of your party start going. missing and stuff. Hang on. It's interesting. It's exciting. Go on your Peter Short. Thank you, Peter Short. And finally, for me, I would love to thank from Denver, Colorado.

Evan Sumner. Evan Sumner. Sumner. There's a great Tazzy band or duo called Sumner. Anyway. Really? It's also Stings real name. Sumner.

Yeah. Sumner. Yeah. Sumner. Oh, yeah. Okay. So Evan Sumner and the tunnel of truth. That's good.

Tunnel of truth. Tunnel of truth. I was going to say something really gross and I'll just say that to you off air. Do you want to thank some people now? My mind is racing you, people. Who knows what they could have been? Who knows what they could be? What is the tunnel of truth?

I would like to thank from East Providence in what I believe is Rhode Island. Fantastic state. Underrepresented in our patrons. My favorite miss in miscongeniality, Rhode Island. That's great. She's great. Anyway. From Rhode Island, Trevor Pont.

Oh. Great name there, Treve. Pont or Ponty? Well, could be a pontie. Ponte, like the bridge. Ponte. Ponte. here. Trevor Ponte and the delirious delinquent Daniel.

Whoa, that sucked. No. That's pretty good. You go, what the hell does that mean? Who is this Daniel? Trevor Ponce and the delirious delinquent Daniel. See, that feels less like an Indiana Jones type romp and more of like a kids' mystery sort of. It does sound.

Which I love. I say that, you know what it honestly sounds like. As a positive. The Troy McClure. movie What is it? I'm trying to get the exact wording here. The contrabulous fab-trapion of Professor Horatio Arachio Arachnaigle.

God, they had some fun in the writers' room, didn't they? So fun, so fun. Trevor Ponce and the delirious delinquent Daniel. Thank you, Trevor. I would like to thank now from Philadelphia in Pennsylvania. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, Philadelphia, I'd like to thank you, Bracken Markens.

Bracken Markens. You don't come across that name enough. Bracken Markens is such a good name. Bracken Markens and the Cave of Wanda. Wanda. Not even Wanda, Wanda, Wanda, love it. Wanda. Wanda.

How do you spell it? W-A-N-D-A, yes. Oh, yes. Yeah. Sounds pretty dirty, actually. Sorry, Bracken. Cave of Wanda. Cave of Wanda.

I'd like to thank from Greenville in Texas. It's Minty Wells. Minty Wells. The well of? Minty Wells and the well of youth. Oh, well of youth. Yeah. That sounds like something that Indiana Jones is going to look for.

Yeah, big time. You know, the myth of some sort of fountain of youth, a well of youth. Now, I'm not going to read it out, but a big shout out to you, Minty Wells, for your email. Yeah. Did you see that there? Yes, I did. Don't want to docks you, but that's fun stuff. That's good stuff.

I hope you put that on the job applications. I would like to thank now from Location Unknown. We can only assume they are deep within the fortress of the moles, a place that Indiana Jones would kill to get to, I assume. Oh, yeah. And this person is Anita. Anita and the ant eaters. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Great. Love it. I actually, I love an ant eater. Fun band. Yeah, Anita and the ant eaters. Yeah. That's fun.

That's actually really good. It's also a great romp film. Yeah. So it can be all of it. Anita, do with that name what you will. You can form a band. We give you a blessing. As long as we can be in the band.

Thank you. And finally, from Lincoln in Great Britain, I would like to thank Hannah G. Hannah G. And the tree of light. Okay. Not tree of life. Light. Tree of light.

What does that mean? Is it a Christmas tree? Is it a metaphor? Oh, okay. You know? It might be one of those like, one of those things like the Holy Grail, something that's like, what is it? You know, it's exciting.

You have to watch it to find out. Well, Hannah G. I wish you luck on your journey. So thank you very much to Hannah, Anita, Minty, Brack and Trevor, Evan, Peter, Celeste, and Gene. The last thing we need to do before we skedaddle on out of here. Let you people enjoy the rest of your day, night, morning, whatever it is that you're up to, is welcome a few people into the Trip Ditch Club. Now, what this is, is these are people who have supported us for three consecutive years

on the Sydney-Shineberg Deluxe level. And we like to welcome them into an exclusive club where we have drinks, we have nibbles, we have some live music. Oh, yeah. We have PowerPoints, if you want to plug in your phone, give that a charge. We also have a PowerPoint presentation. if you want to learn anything. Yeah, if you want to, that's fine.

We've got little sleeping nooks. You can go have a nap. We've got beanbags. Oh, yeah. We've got every type of chair that you could possibly want. We've got a little, like, a computer lab in the back where you can play video games or just, like, look at naughty stuff on the internet. Oh, wow.

Whatever. So, yeah. Safe search is off. We'd love to invite some people in. This week, I will be listing off the names and also hyping you up, Dave. Okay. Because what Dave does is he welcomes you in with some, incredibly clever wordplay, a bit of a pun based on your name, but it's really more about

the energy. Exactly. Don't listen to the words. Listen to the energy. That's right. That's what's actually important. There's also, um... People have anything that they like, but they don't have this energy.

Yeah. Um, I'm also in charge of drinks and snacks. This time, everything is served in a coconut. Oh, great. Love it. Yeah. So... Love a coconut.

Can I have whatever you want? Can I make a suggestion for the snacks? Okay. Bad dates. That's an Indiana Jones reference. You'll get that when you. you don't remember it from Redis's the Lost Rock. And am I serving some bad dates in the coconut?

Okay. Oh no, so that's separate to the drink. You can do whatever you want in the drink in the coconut. Okay. But you can also have coconuts full of bad dates if you like. No, I'm serving all the food in coconuts as well. Oh, okay, great, great, great. So if you want, like, just some fries, that's fine, but I am putting it into coconut.

Getting soggy from the coconut walls. If you want, like, a big, a bit of soup, the soup that's always way too hot. Yeah. That's okay. You can have that, but it is coming in a coconut. I've bought too many coconuts. I can understand. I can see that.

I've got to get rid of them. You also book a band, Dave. Have you booked a band this week? You're never going to believe it. You are never going to believe it. I wish that I had confirmed this when Marcel was still here. But unfortunately, the manager hadn't quite got it back to me yet, but it's just come through in the email.

John Williams. Get out. Composer is performing live. Unfortunately, the orchestra that he was conducting has been trapped in L.A. Okay. They haven't made it through. Temple of Doom. It is a temple of.

That's what I got a lot of them. That's good stuff. So unfortunately, John Williams will not have an orchestra, but he will be humming some of the tunes of his fame. Right. I mean, we could like, we could probably just like put on a Spotify playlist or something for him if you wants.

No, no, no, he wants to hum it. He's doing it live. Okay. He's doing it live. And he'll be like, remember that time that I did this song? Yeah. And we'll be like, not really. Everyone joins in.

It's a real hum-s-s-ish. Oh, yeah, that could be quite nice, actually. Everyone humming together. All right, great. I look forward to that. look forward to meeting him. So let's welcome in some new members. We've got four new inductees.

Count them. One, two, three, four on the floor. Sorry, I'm just trying to get into it. Yeah, he's already in a good energy. So first and foremost, I would love to lift the velvet rope. And welcome in from Marrero, L.A., Alan, our buddy, Jr. Oh, Marrero, more like Ferreiro Roche. Yeah, woo.

An expensive chocolate in Australia. Hopefully you also have that in L.A. Alan, you're a baddie. Yes. Oh, yeah. That's a young person. You're a junior. Cool.

From San Francisco, California. It's Anna. Well, I thought about throwing a spanner in the works, but actually I'd rather throw in Anna in the works. Anna in the party. From, what is this? Brindigsville. That doesn't make any sense.

Brinigsville. Brinigsville. Pennsylvania, PA? Yeah. I would love to bring in Ian K. You know what? You're more than okay. you're A&K

Yes And from Perth, Western Australia I'd love to welcome Sarah with them If you're not with them You're against them Sarah I was gonna do something about your last time

Written down looks like with ham Here she is Witham Sarah witham Sarah with them No offense, mine was better. Honestly, that's why I went with you, but I just wanted to let the people know what I would have said,

and it was not as good. So welcome, Sarah, Ian, Anna and Alan. Welcome, make yourselves at home. Grab a coconut, fill it with whatever you want, to be honest. And then just start humming along to John Williams. Yeah, and enjoy. And with that, I guess that brings us to the end. Is there anything else that we need to let people know, Dave?

Well, we can let them know that if they want to get in contact with us, we've got an email. It's do go on pod at gmail.com, and we're on social media, and you can find all the links on our website, do go onpod.com, but we're basically at do go on pod on things. If you want to follow us, that'd be fantastic. And, yeah, if you want to suggest a topic, join the Patreon, all that sort of stuff, it's do go onpod.com. Basically, that should be your homepage, people. Yeah. It's ours.

Yeah, obviously. Yeah. Mine's Google. Stop using Google. Start using dogoonpod.com. I can't search for things. You can I? Yeah, it just always comes up with one of the three of us.

Wow. So you say, which richest person in the world? Matt comes up. Yeah. It's a lie. Most beautiful person in the world. Matt comes up. That's also a lie.

He has made it so he comes up for everything. But still, make it to the homepage. Do go on pod.com. But what do you reckon? We kick this baby home. Yeah, let's get out of here, I reckon. Hey, we'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, we'll say thank you so much for listening to us.

And until then, I will say goodbye. Later's. Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know. where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester.

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