Do Go On - 385 - The World Cup Trophy Heist

Episode Date: March 8, 2023

The Jules Rimet Trophy, awarded to the winner of the football World Cup, was stolen prior to the 1966 FIFA World Cup in England... what led to this was a fair bit of incompetence which didn't end with the theft! Joined by James Shakeshaft (Loremen Podcast) we hear this wild tale, enjoy!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 07:50 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Listen to James on Loremen: http://www.loremenpodcast.com/ Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenjai Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and, as always, I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins.

Hello, David. Hey, Dave, just quickly, how good is it to be alive? So good to be here. So good to be here, so good to be alive. And it's so good to be joined with an international guest this week coming down the line via satellite phone. I can only assume that's what this connection is. Beyonce? Well, even better.

From one of my absolute favorite podcast, Lawman, it's a lawman. himself James Shakesharp. Woo! Hi, hello. Are you ready for this jelly? I don't think I am ready. No, I don't. I didn't think you were.

I didn't wish to assume. Is this the first time we've had, firstly an international guest on? And, well, obviously, if they're international, they're sort of, you know, joining us via satellite. Is this the first time we've done this? Wow. This is the first time we've been potting,

Across the water. Through the core. Through the core. Straight through the core. Oh, we're going through the core. That makes sense. Oh, we're going through the core right now. Bloody hell.

Well, thank you very much for having me. I am a big fan of the pod. Thank you so much. Kind of you people in general. So please let's not let any of you get cancelled or anything. That's all remain. Oh, yeah. We're hoping to not be cancelled.

But, you know, just play it cool, I reckon. I know you're a big fan, but, you know, we're just people. Just be cool. Just be cool. Matt and I have hung out. We've met James and already done a live podcast when we were in Bristol at the end of last year. And then afterwards, we said, hey, let's go out for a beer. And then for some reason, the places that were open were all on this island in Bristol.

And the only bridge to get to the island was closed for roadworks. So we drove around for honestly 45 minutes trying to get to the pub. And by the time we got there, it was closed. So we went to another. place and it was a pretty wild place. It was full of what I would describe as basically children.

It was like obviously the youths pub. Yeah, it really was. It was a mixture of people that was like sort of you know rough looking, you know, maybe people that are in a gang but then goths would walk in and then you know someone straight from the building site and then like you said there was a school group there perhaps it was

like. There was one person that was older than me and I kept like we kept just occasionally making eye contact and just being like a little bit annoyed. Sort of like the subway ghost in the film Ghost. I don't know if you get that reference.

But he was, that ghost was particularly annoyed there was another ghost around him and I think me as an old man was kind of like, I'm the old, that was my thing being really old and weird. Yeah.

How dare you also be old and weird. But also, we have to stick together if shit starts to go down with these children. Yeah. If it goes all Logan's run, Yeah. We're going to stick together, old man.

Yeah. Me and you, old timer. If it goes all Logan's run anyway. A reference, Matt. You couldn't just play it cool, you know? Just be cool. He's Googling. I thought that's what I was doing.

I was playing a cool and all you made it abundantly clear. I love Wolverine. You thought his run was brilliant. A great run. Very athletic. Isn't he coming back? What a great run. Shall I explain how this show works?

Please do, Jess. So, one of the three of us, but this week, James. Gosh, I'm such a struggle to figure this out. Okay, one of us goes away, research as a topic, brings it back to the others who listen politely and very rarely interrupt and go on silly little tangents. We usually get onto topic with a question. James, do you have a question for us? I do actually. Because you're a big fan.

You're a pro. Yeah. What is 14 inches high and 22 men regularly contest and makes grown men cry? Oh. Between 1930 and 1983. I'll be honest, I'd only thought of half of the question before I started to speak in that question. That was the 14 inches you'd thought of. That's more than I usually come up with.

22 men. It's 11 aside. Okay, so it's four? So cricket maybe? Is it maybe the ashes? No, that went back further. It's not 14 inches. That's like two inches.

Yeah, that's true. 14 inches is that all? We haven't seen it in a while. James, so. Give it back. They won't let us have it, even when we win it. It's not fair. Too fragile to fly.

Fricen-all. Properly COVID or something. All right, so it's 35 centimetres high. All right, thank you. Oh, sorry. No, no, I'm just saying. So what's that? A basketball?

Okay. 1930 until 1980 something. It's got wings. Is it a very small aeroplane? No. Is it a pretty reasonably sized bird? Is it the aerosmith logo? Are we getting closer?

No, it's not. Don't forget the 22. 22 men. Contest it. How many people are in the aerosmith? I think he's like 21. 22 men. So it's not cricket or is it cricket?

No. It's not cricket. Who else? plays 11 field. Is that soccer? That's football, right? 11 aside? World Cup? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Am I getting close? Oh, it's the original. Oh, it's, yes. World Cup trophy.

The FAC Cup. The Jules Rimei trophy. Oh. The trophy. Which is, it's not the one that you would imagine, you know, if you've seen the World Cup where it looks sort of like a hand holding a ball. That looks like it's a chocolate covered in foil, the current one. Yes.

That's the new one. The old. one looks like an angel with a sort of cup on her head. Wow. That sounds beautiful. A cup-headed angel. It was beautiful. Oh, spoiler alert.

It was beautiful. Yeah. But we'll get onto that later. It got ugly. It did not age, quite a bit. With age, yeah. Not an angel. Not enough SPF in the skincare routine.

Got a little wrinkly. Now, I'm guessing someone checked this topic and it's not, didn't Hing do a topic like this? He did just the World Cup, but there's no mention of a trophy at all, I don't think. I don't think you mentioned the trophy once. Because there's been two trophies and the first trophy, they did that thing where if you win it three times, you get to keep it. Oh, that classic. Sort of like, it's almost like reverse genie rules.

Yes, yes, exactly reverse genie rules. Yeah. Almost. You do three wishes. And then you get a vessel that you can rub if you want. Yeah. Well, you rub it and then, I don't understand. You don't get to keep it once you've, James.

No, you've got to give it away, right? Yeah, that's right. That's the genie rules. That's the genie rules. But, yeah, this is football. This is the Jewel's Rema Trophy of the World Cup of Football, aka Soccer. Oh, that's catchy. I love a title that has the same word in it two or three times.

then you're going to love my topic today and many of the things I say. But first of all, I want to kind of set the scene for a thing called football or soccer, depending on where you're listening to this. Wow, I love a scene setter. So, variations of a game called football in various languages have been around in the West since ancient Greek and Roman times. ancient China had a version called Kudu or Shu Chu, which involved kicking a ball into a net. Right, that sounds pretty close when you put it in those sort of simple terms.

Yeah, in many. Just the main thrust. It's really good at it. Yeah, that's the idea. Well, I play as a kid, there wasn't a lot of that ball into the net sort of stuff. Right, what was there? Oh, no, that's not true. There was ball into the net, just at the other end of the field.

Right, right. In ancient Rome, there was a version which was a little more like rugby, that the Roman politician Cicero described a case of a man who was killed whilst having a shave when this ball was kicked into the barber's shop. Oh, no. Yeah. That is a dangerous game. Yeah, to get it through one of those doors.

You assume it, you know, and the flaps, you know, those sort of colourful flaps that come down. Geez, to get the power to get through all of that. Yeah, at first they arrested that guy, then they said, actually, we need someone that can bend it like you. Yeah, this is actually very impressive. If you can bend it around a door, you can bend it around a defender. Yeah. Was Johnny Wilkinson. Yeah.

The ancient Roman, he lived before Christ. There is actually, just to bring it on home to you guys, there is an Australian version called Marn Grook, which is an Aboriginal game. And the earliest historical account is from an 1878 book by Robert Broub. Bruce Smith. There was a man called Richard Thomas who was quoted as saying that in 1841 in Victoria, Australia, he witnessed Aboriginal people playing a game. Mr Thomas describes how the foremost player will drop kick a ball made from the skin of a possum and how other players leap into

the air in order to catch it. And some historians have theorised that Marne Grook was one of the origins of your game. Aussie rules football. Yeah, it sounds like what they were doing is they're leap into Yeah, specky. I don't mean? Oh, going up, yon, Kappa! Yeah. I love our culture, James. It's a beautiful country.

Beautiful game. There's a weekly football show during football season called the Mangrook football show, which is presented by Indigenous football, ex-footballers. It's probably the best football show on TV in Australia, I reckon. Is it? That's very cool. Yeah. I didn't know about it.

That's awesome. on a circular pitch have I just got a bad tally? Yeah, part on cricket fields, yeah. Ah, so, I've not ever watched a game. Oh my God, James. I've seen the shirts. I've seen the shirts.

Love the shirts. Love the sleeveless shirts. I'll send you my DVD of the streak when the Saints won ten games in a row. Didn't end up winning the grandfinal that year, but we won ten in a row earlier in the season. They just cut those ten games of the season and then pretended that's where it ended

and that it just ends with applause or something. Yeah. Yeah, the credits roll and they say the season went on and, you know, it didn't all go to plan, but geez, remember those. How about those sweet, sweet 10? Is 10 in a row? Is that unheard of?

That's pretty good. For us. Oh, I was going to say, surely other teams have done 10 in a row and probably won the ground. How many games in a season are there? Out of interest. 22 games? 23 rounds.

All right, that's about half a bunch of games. Yeah, exactly. then. Now, exactly. Now you get why it's so historic that needs a DVD box set. Yeah. I'll send it over. Yeah, check your mailbox.

That will be on its way. Thank you. Region free, I hope. And we can... I'm sure it's right. I'll send you an Australian DVD player as well. Oh, thank God. And an Australian TV, you need a Kogan

just so you can experience the full picture. I forgot about regions. Can I also have an Australian to understand it for me? Yeah, we'll send that. Explain to me. Thanks. Lovely stuff. And tell me why again, winning 10 is impressive. It's nearly half. But if you'd have won one more game, that would have been better, right? Way more satisfying.

Yeah, because it would have been the final. Is it a league or is it like American where it all comes down to a final? It all comes down to the grand final, that's right. It's not like a very, because to be fair, the football league, the soccer league is kind of dull in that you can win the league like two months before the end of the season and then people just have to continue to play and are very, very resentful about it. Yeah, that is interesting.

I guess that's why they have the different, you know, there's the European qualifications and the bottom three teams, which mine is one of those. The relegation. In the relegation zone. Yes, you can. You can be so bad that you're simply not allowed to play football anymore.

You get dropped down and down They don't have that rule in the NFL, and that's why the Saints are celebrating their 150th year this year. Why try? Try, relegators, you can't. You can't. We'll keep playing and losing. But English football, the soccer game,

I'm going to sort of, if I say football, I'm mean in soccer really, just sort of a generic translator. Have you heard where the term soccer comes from? Is it from socket to me, baby? Oh my God. Yeah, you know. Apparently there was a fad at some point in England where they would shorten words in a certain way and add ER or something like that. And so it was shortened from association football and that got broken down to soccer or something like that.

So it was originally an English term and then... The rest of the world took it. Yeah. Interesting. So it's a nickname. It's like an Australian nickname, which is something that I am. One day I hope to be honoured with. an Australian giving me a nickname.

But I don't, I don't think that's going to happen today. I mean, your surname is so fantastic. I don't think I'd want to touch it. What about? Shaky, shakes. You know, see what I mean? It's less than what it began as. Yeah, I think, I think really you'd either end up with Jimmy

or something pretty offensive. But said with love. I did have to go to school with that surname, so, yeah. What about Shaft? I'm pretty at O-Fa. You wouldn't have had that in England. Shafto. Shafed-do.

No, definitely not an O. We don't stick a no on the end. Probably Shaker, based off that soccer etymology, really. Shaker. Anyway, yeah, the soccer game has its origins in medieval times, and it was a game played on Shrove Tuesday, aka Pancake Day.

Fantastic day of the year. They love round things on that day. One of the best days. It's my favourite religious ceremony. Agreed, yes. I think it's, yeah, I think it's one of few that I like. now. That and Easter.

Yeah. Because a big, big chocolate guy. Yeah. Anyway, so, yeah, so football. That was referred to as mob football and it was played in towns or between villages with an unlimited number of players. And they were just basically fight struggling to move an item such as an inflated animals bladder to the other town's church or something. And that was sort of, that was mob football. Sometimes if they didn't have a bladder, they use a horse's head.

Yes, if you want to send a message, then it's basically a brawl. Yeah, but they'd go like, okay, church is the goal. Off we go. Yeah, so that was, yeah, that was mob football, mob football. The Tommy guns. Yes, yeah, yeah, yep, yep. The earliest reference to football in England is from 1314, and it's in French, because we were ruled by the French at that time.

Is that a secret? You've got a pretty complicated relationship with those fellows over the pond or whatever you say. Is that what you say? It's not even a pond. It's like a – if the Atlantic's a pond, this is just a sort of like a streak of piss, basically. The channel, the English channel. A streak of piss. Yeah.

Whenever I hear about like a record now for – They were the oldest person to ever swim the English channel. I just think swimming across the pisser. Swimming a streak a piss. I'm not impressed, old lady. But basically, they'd the Lord Mayor of London, Nicholas Defarn Dunn. Now this is translated from the French by Wikipedia. For as much as there is a great noise in the city caused by hustling over large footballs

in the fields of the public from which many evils might arise. rise, which God forbid, we command and forbid on behalf of the king, on pain of imprisonment, such going to be used in the city in the future. So basically, it's banned football. Wow. It's too rough. It's too rough and ready. In 1363, King Edward III banned it nationwide. He banned handball, football, hockey, coursing and cockfighting. Oh, a cockball. That's, no, with the birds, with the birds. They fight each other. There's no balls involved. that one. Okay. I thought he was anti anything in the ball, the football, handball, cockball. It's all out.

Cock and two balls. No. None of that. None of that. Drawing on the walls, school kids. Thank you. But as is the way people continued to play it on the underground. I mean, as in like, you know, on the down low, we didn't have an underground system at that point. And especially at public schools, it was encouraged. And the modern rules of football, there were all sorts of rules being formulated in the mid to late 19th century, so the 1800s. And there was a whole bunch of rules that were applied to sports like lawn bowls, lawn tennis, football and that. And apparently the major impetus for this was the patenting of the world's first lawnmower

in 1830, which allowed people to have mowed grass, which allowed people to play games on grass a little more regularly. So we also need rules. Now we've got this lawnmower. Wow. That's like a further back than I would have guessed the lawnmower. Yeah, I mean, previously that, you'd just do it in nature's way with a goat. Nature's lawnmower.

As it's so-called. And yeah, there were also sorts of various versions of the rules tweaked during the 1800s. Most of them were kind of quibbling over whether you could carry the ball with your hands and whether you could kick people in the shins. Football, football, stopped you carrying it with your hands, but you kind of could kick people in the shins. That's okay. Kick him in the shin, that's fine. Yeah, it made it look like an accident.

This is still mob football, isn't it? Yes. They used to wear concrete boots at certain points. And then around this time, football clubs started to appear outside of the public schools. Sheffield has the oldest association football team dating back to 1857. And the second football team, Hallam, was not invented until 1860. Huh. Whoa.

Yeah. They're just playing themselves? I don't know. But I bet they still bang on. about their three-year unbeaten run. You're right. Might release a DVD about it. Ah, the streak.

Three years. Oh, take that's and killed her. For three years, we were... Ten weeks, we're untouchable. And then another team joined, and that week we lost 10-0. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sheffield United is the name of the team.

Their nickname, the club. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. If you get in a little, you're allowed to have that. The most basic nickname. Yeah. Like A. At gmail.com or something. Who's got it?

Who got A. Early with A. At Gmail. That's fine. I think about that a bit how things from the olden days, you know, everything was up for grabs for names and stuff. And they didn't always make the most of it.

Like I saw at a gig. I was at the other night. There was old movie posted in the foyer. And one of them was from like the 60s or something. And it was called Three Mules for Mrs. Squizzle or something like that. You're like, come on. Like, they could have. It could be anything.

You could have called it the departed. That wasn't taken yet. I was pretty like it could have been the godfather. Taken probably wasn't even taken. Yeah. I'm confident it wasn't. You could have called it Titanic. That would have been fine.

Three men and a baby. Three mules for sister Sarah is what it was called. What a wild name. And you'll look it up and it probably won the Academy Award for Best Picture. And we're like, dumb name. They need a spoon feed it to us these days. Although that is a lot of information. That's a lot of exposition just in the title of the film.

If that is the entirety of the plot as well, I'll be all right, thanks. Yeah, I'm okay. I've got other stuff to do. I'll go look out of window for a bit. Second mule is it, sister. Yeah, what's up next? Another meal. That's the big finale, third act, third meal.

No twists, no twist. She was after she wanted three meals. She got three meals, credit roll. Yep. Everybody's happy. But yeah, so the first international match was conducted between England and Scotland in 1872 in Glasgow. And, oh, it was a nail biter. It finished nil-nil.

Oh, wow. Zero, zero. So soccer's always been like that. Oh, it's always been dull. Yeah, right. There you go. Don't you worry. But it's the dullness that makes it exciting.

Yeah, that's what they tell you. Yeah. When something happens because of the contrast, all the nothing that was happening earlier, it's thrilling. It's all about, you know, creating a bit of anticipation. Yeah. And then that build up, the tension and release. Oh, my gosh. And sometimes that won't happen at all.

There will be no release. It'll be a nil-nil draw. I'm kind of like the soccer of stand-up comedy. Oh, go on. People, you might come and see my show for a, it goes for an hour. and when that laugh comes, normally it feels awesome. It won't always come. Sometimes it will be a nil all draw.

Me and the audience both lose. But when there is a laugh, oh my God, it's an explosion. You've got that DVD out of those 10 laughs you had in a row that time. I did 10 gigs in a row where I got a laugh. That's true. We were so proud. It's quite right. So pop that over in the care package, you're sending as well, please.

We'll do. We'll do. Thank you. Do people fight at your gigs as well? Yes. There's a lot of footballs are very associated with violence. Yes, yes, yes. It's usually me.

I go to all of Matt's gigs and start a brawl. Yeah, Jess is not allowed to sit amongst everyone else. There's segregation in the stand. No, I'm not. I will. She's in their way zone. She's in the way zone. And I pick fights.

A bunch of stewards in high-vis vests surround you towards the end of the set. Because they're like, oh, she's going to kick off. She is going. kick right off. Jeff stands up and yells, what are you laughing at? What are you laughing at me? It ruins everyone of Matt's kicks.

Yeah. So I don't get many laughs. People are too scared. Terrified. Sorry. It's not like that here, though, for soccer and Australia, both teams fan bases can sit amongst each other.

No trouble really happens too often. Oh, that is... Wasn't there racially a full-on brawl? I mean, there was that one recent full-on brawl, but it's not often. Yeah, and that brawl wasn't against another team. It was against the league itself, which had decided to move the grand final to a certain place, right? Yes. How do you fight a league? What you do is you throw a bin

and then it hits a cameraman. Oh. And then there's a lot of trouble. Okay. Oh dear. Yeah, I'm not counting that incident. Yeah, apart from that, very peaceful. Yeah, they were fighting together against the league. Yeah. Which is beautiful, actually. Yeah, against the concept. Yeah, against the man. you know? Fair enough. Well, like I say, this was not that exciting. But there were more international events at the Olympics in 1908 and 1912. These were won by Great Britain.

Basically, these were looked down upon by the sort of professional football teams because they were contested by amateurs and they were seen as exhibitions and not particularly competitive. But in 1930, the first FIFA World Cup took place in Uruguay. Uruguay 1, very low score. I think it was a 4-2 final actually. So that's quite a lot of goals. Yeah.

And this was set up by the head of FIFA, the Federation International de Football Association. That was meant to be a French accent. I thought it was. Dave's been doing French lessons recently. Dave, what do you reckon? I think you absolutely nailed it. Trey Trabian.

I mean, sorry, we should clarify. Dave's been doing French accent lessons. Yeah, that's right. I just speak a word of the language. I just speak like a ziz. But how you say you can get your idea across, you can be removed from bars in England. People will not want you to go there.

Anyway. I can say, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think they say, say the beef. La booth. Is that right? Where? I mean, it's pretty close, is it? You just need to know the actor Shia LeBuff, and you're basically saying,

Is his name? The beef. There you go. Big time. Boy or girl. My French lessons at school, right, we had to do an oral exam, and they put me, for the, like five minutes before the exam, they put me in a little room, which was the cupboard where they kept the dictionary Well, they like, learn this?

Yeah, I think so. I think they were like, come on, we really need to get our scores up because we're in embarrassment. You called it a room and a cupboard. It was a big room. Okay. It was a big cupboard or a small room, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was full of shelves with books on, so it's hard to tell.

I suppose you could say it was a little library. But it was all the same book, which was an English-French dictionary. So it's a bad, it's not a good library. No, it's a pete libretre. Sorry, just... Dave understood. Yeah, you know what I'm getting at, Dave, right? Oh, we, we'll translate later for these.

Absolute images. Yeah, so that first World Cup, it was in Uruguay, which is in South America, and very few European teams wanted to take part because it was 1930. There was a massive economic crisis. some just simply refused to go to South America under any circumstances. They were like, we've got heaps of money in our country, but we're not going there. No way. What's called the Home Nations here, England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland had actually resigned from FIFA at that time.

And they were invited, but they turned it down. And then it got to two months before the start of the tournament. And there was no team from Europe in it at all. And it had obviously come from Europe. and FIFA was French, so they really leaned on the European teams to go there. It ended up being Belgium, France, Romania and Yugoslavia. The Romanian team entered the competition following the intervention of their king, Carol, the second. King Carol.

King Carol the second. Big fan. He selected the squad and negotiated with the players' employers to ensure that they would have jobs when they returned. Oh man, imagine the king calling your boss and saying, sorry, actually, Darren can't work for the nextel. Sorry. He's really good at football. It's me, the king. King Carroll.

King Carroll. King Carroll, too, yes. The sequel. Yes, of course. That's great. I would love that. And they all travelled together in a big boat, which I find quite fun. Took about two weeks to make the trip, and it was like picking up teams on the way, just this big boat.

And they're kicking the football round. training on the deck Top deck, poop deck All of the decks Definitely So that was when The trophy was invented It was the now called

The Jules Rimei trophy And then it was called Victory Or the World Cup Or Coup du Monde Who's George Rame Jules Rame was the head of FIFA Who had set up The idea of a World Cup

And set all this thing up So it got named after him I love a humble naming like that Yeah, yeah yeah I'm going to name it after me. We'll just use that as a placeholder. And if anything else better comes up, but if not, we'll just use my name. I mean, I don't know what could be better, but just in case something does.

And engrave it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We can unengraver. Yeah, pencil it on with an engraver. We can unengrave it. Yeah, you're right. It's easy. Rub it out.

Fun fact, during World War II, it was held in Italy. It was hid in a shoebox under a guy's bed. That sounds right. During the World War II. The respect it deserves. Shoebox under a bed. And also fun fact, and this one is a little bit more fun, in 1958, Sweden won the World Cup,

and they did something that had never been done before and became a real tradition with the World Cup. The photographers requested a better view of the trophy when the team won it, so the captain lifted it up in the air. Ah. No one had thought to lift it before. All right. Before that, it was just like on the ground.

They'd just be like, yeah, cheers, thanks. Sort of, you know, yeah. Yep. Just pop it in your pocket or something, I guess. Jeez, that would have probably annoyed some of the old school types. I'm like, oh, the kids are today. Very showy. Whoa, whoa, you don't pick up the trophy.

You don't pick up Jules Rime? That's a bit much. Let's show up some respect. Jules Rime down. Put it back in the shoebox, please. And then in 1966, football came home. England was to host the tournament. You can imagine the buzz.

It's the swinging 60s. There's the Beatles. There's James Bond. There's sideburns. Probably, yes. You've wandered into one of my pet categories here, the year 1966. I can tell you a few other things. Clickety-click.

Here we go on. Here we go, James. The Chicago Bulls were formed in the NBA. The St. Kilda Saints won their one and only VFL, AFL, premiership. Have you got the DVD? Yeah, I do, actually. I'll pop it in the package.

This postage is actually going to cost us so much now. It's going to be a full boat. One full cargo container. I just put the whole team in. We're actually, we're sending you a house so that you can, set up watch on an Australian TV and Australian DVD player. That's right. It'll just, you know, you've got to set the context better.

I don't think it'll make sense otherwise. What else happened in 66 then? Surely nothing else. Well, Beatles released Revolver, which is sort of known as their great album. Their only great album. They had the one great album. One hit wonders. Yeah, well, what happened to those guys?

I don't know. I have, I used to have a nice big list of them. I feel like you did very well. Batman TV show, right? The Batman TV shoe The Batman 66 Carnaby Street And the World Cup

And the World Cup of football In England And so the The trophy, the Jules Rimay Like Sort of when it was all announced and stuff And as part of the buildup

The trophy came to England And was shown off at press conferences It was taken on a tour of the country I think that was so people could see it Not just sort of like Oh look at this Like treating it like a Yeah

Well I prefer to think of it like they're just like look that's buckingham palace and the trophy's like oh it is nice for you it is nice isn't it is hungry do you want to stop for lunch is it still charles rame or whatever is it still the wing trovee jules reme still the jules reme still jules reme so jules is getting the tour of old london town oh the whole of the country mate oh bloody hell even your neck of the woods it's it's called oxford chit i grew up in a town called chipping Morton. Chipping Norton.

There is actually a Chippin Norton in Australia, by the way, before you go too far down mocking this name. Are we not mocking? We are not mocking. We are praising. Yeah. That's a fantastic name. But I did grow, when I was very young, I lived near a place called Pratt's Bottom. Oh, so good. It can't be real.

Yeah, how does that exist? Pratt's Bottom. Pratt's Bottom. The girls are great because they make the Rock and World. That's what I've heard That's what I've heard that actually Yeah I don't know I can't remember where I heard it

I mean how does anyone get any work done there You just laugh and you're bottom off the whole time In the course of the research from my pod I did find There's another town on the south coast called Shitterton Shitterton That's where I want to live I want to live in Shitterton Take me to Shitterton

Is that below Pratt's bottom or Sort of yeah just off the ring road but yeah so it was taken on a tour by George Bird Silver Smith and he took it around on his push bike and just kept it in the front basket

I couldn't even get a horse and carriage for it not even just pushing it around and probably go on a train and then get off on his push bike and try it around like look that's an old church oh look that's a print of Mondra Oh, you do say a bit of French, said Jess.

A pretamanga. A preta manga. A preta manga, he would just pop it under his bed at night. Didn't even bother locking it up or anything. There's a real lax attitude to safety, which, if I'm honest, is going to bite him in the Pratt's bottom. Oh, oh, no. Bit of foreshadowing. Yes, a little.

Eventually, it was displayed at a stamp exhibition. at the Methodist Central Hall, of course. Yeah, it makes sense. It's a stamp. There's a stamp exhibition featuring the World Cup trophy. Yeah, they managed to sort of secure it to try and get the punters in to their stamp exhibition. And I think if you need something completely unrelated to your exhibition to get people in to see

your exhibition, then you need to rethink your exhibition. If you're going for gimmicks, maybe stamps aren't that interesting. Yeah. If you're not selling tickets for your stamps. Yeah. So to be honest. If this trophy is available during the Melbourne Comedy Festival, my ticket sales really could do with some sort of gimmick to get it across the line.

I'll bring the trophy out. You can have a selfie with it at the end. You just have to stay and laugh at my jokes for 50 minutes beforehand, okay? Oh, mate, come on. It's a bit stiff. I don't think I've heard of a comedy show with 50 minutes of laugh. That's not possible. Well, fake it.

Fake it, everyone. For 50 minutes? No. No. I'm generous support. One minute at the end of 50th. That's what you mean. People just remember the last minute.

They don't remember the rest of the show. They just remember what they're doing the last minutes. That's right. They just remember the World Cup of Football. That's right. Trophy. It's a funny looking trophy. And there was a bizarre condition that the Jules Rimei trophy had to remain on its plinth at weekends and nights.

They couldn't put it in a safe or somewhere. I don't know. That doesn't make sense. No, you cannot lock it away safely. It's got to be on the plinth. I mean, but during the day, it's fine to be in a man's bicycle basket. Yeah, or popped under his bed. Wow, they've made some weird decisions.

They have. And on the 20th of March, the security guard, John McLaren, who was also a part-time actor, was doing his round. And he found it was gone. It was gone. Someone had unsurprisingly, given all the examples of the lack safety we've already established, someone had taken the World Cup. The plinth was empty. Oh man.

When the media arrived, I imagine he gave a great interview, you know. Oh, dear Lord. T'was upon the setting of the sun. Had me out headshots. Yeah, signing them already. I mean, how would these master thieves gotten in? Would it be like Tom Cruise's mission impossible?

No. No, it wasn't. A door was left open. No, the hall was locked. It was locked, to be fair. It was those sort of swing double doors, you know, with the handles like you'd get at school. Yeah. You imagine, you can see the type.

Oh, fancy double doors with handles at his school. Oh, how do we do right now? Oh, room that's like a small cupboard. Oh, okay. Filled with books. Oh, dear, I had no idea. We're talking to fancy pants. Matt's school just only had three walls.

They didn't have doors. They just had one open hole. Yeah, he can almost read. No fourth wall, that's why I got in a stand-up. Because you're constantly breaking it. That's right. The teacher would always sort of turn and go, these guys think they're learning.

I'm a teacher, but how did I get here? I'm not, I'm known as the flea bag of Australian comedy. Is that because of the comedy series? No. Oh. My very poor hygiene. So the hall was. locked up. Yeah, it was locked. It was chained. Those chains were on the outside of the door,

and the handles that were chained up were screwed into the door with just normal screws. So what the thieves did, unscrewed the handles, had full access to the halls. Incredible. That's really funny. A couple of days later, the head of the FAA received a ransom note, which included a scrap of the lining the trophy to prove it was legit for 15,000 pounds. Whoa. Yeah. Sounds like a lot of mullah.

What year is this? 1966, your favourite. Oh, wow. It's a bit of cash. 15 grand and 66. This is a fair, buntz. Yeah, what would that be worth? Probably like...

4.2 billion now, I think. Wow. Australian. Australian, so I'm a 30 quid or something. Not these days. Yeah, really, really not. Probably all the money. Anyway, yeah.

On the day it was stolen, the F.A., which is the British Football Association, got onto George Byrd, you know, the bicycling Silversmith from earlier, and had him make a replica in case they didn't ever find it. And incidentally, they've been told by FIFA not to do this. Explicitly, you are not allowed to make a copy of this. But they were like, George, we're in a bit of a bind here, mate. Make a copy. You know it very well.

You know the dimensions. Yeah. Was he doing it from memory? I think because he was a silversmith, he'd kind of like taken notes and really looked into it. Or he just sort of looked at the size of his bike basket. It was like, well, I guess it must be that. Yeah. Or he'd stolen it.

So he had a really good copy to copy. Or he'd fallen in love with it. He's only fucked that trophy. Probably. Yeah. If I know love. He had a plaster cast of it. Yeah.

Yeah, it was under his bed. Where I couldn't be found. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. So the FAA agreed to the ransom

and they fill a bag. Oh. Like a hold-all type, but, you know, like out of a gangster film. But they fill it with just normal paper and then a few sort of fivers on the top to make it look like, you know. Three fivers, so it's 15 beds.

A classic. 15 pounds and a load of paper. They'll never know. Who would look in the bag? Who would check? Who would ever look in the bag? And so they have someone meet the ransomer who's an undercover policeman. And this contact gets into the policeman's car and they're supposed to drive to a

location where they're going to make the drop off. They're going to hand over the cash and receive the trophy. And the copper notices that they're being followed by a van. And as it slows down to make a turn, the ransomer jumps out with the cash. with the cash makes a run for it tries to do a bleeding runner and the copper

chases him down jumps when he was like you're nicked me old mate not gonna let that 15 pounds go for nothing yeah wow that's one of my

favorite holdalls but it turns out this guy was just a middleman he didn't know a middleman sorry I said said that weird he was a middle

British thing I thought it was you say all weird's funny so it's weird that you're like... All weird's funny. All words funny, sorry.

I also say all weird's funny. You say weird for word. But yeah, a middleman. Thank you. And was the plan that this middleman would jump out of the car and then get picked up by the van, but then he got nicked by the copper? I guess so. Yeah, then he got Nick by the Copper. By old Bill.

He got Nicked, mate. Oh, yeah, the long arm of the law. Oh, wooden top, all right. Good point, actually, Dave. But, yeah, they didn't know anything. He didn't know really who the contact was. was, he was kind of a bit of a chanceer. The trophy is still missing. But one week after the theft, on Sunday the 27th of March, David Corbett of Crystal Palace, South London, takes his dog

Pickles. Yes. Great name, David. Great name. A collie mix for a walk. And in some bushes by his house, Pickles start sniffing around. And David, I really hope this story has nothing it was a trophy. Yeah. It's just a dog found. It did a wee. Yeah. Pickles, come on.

I've got to go to work. Yeah. Hurry up. Stop sniffing. I'll just sniff every tree, do we? Ugh. No. They found a newspaper-wrapped package and inside it, your friend of mine, the Jules Ramey trophy.

Wait, what? They just found it in a bush. I was going to say they had the cash, but they had 15 pounds or something. Whoa. So? Just wrapped in newspaper. Just wrapped in newspaper under a book. bush in South London.

But was it sitting on a plinth inside the bush? No, it had still. They had really broken. They're going to get in so much trouble if it's not on the plinth. Oh, that's embarrassing. Oh, my God. So he takes it to the police station and instantly becomes suspect number one. Because he's got, because that's very lax policing.

It's like, well, who could have stolen this trophy? Well, that guy's got the trophy. He must have stolen it. Has to be him. Thanks so much for coming in, David. Now, you'd put these handcuffs on. be fantastic. Oh, he's got handcuffs.

He must be a policeman. He, because there was a reward of five grand, which is, you know, a third of a billion trillion, has discussed. Yeah. He is eventually cleared, receives his reward, and he uses that to buy a house. Whoa.

Yeah. Five grand in London. Oh, that buys him a house. I mean, did he at least buy pickles? A nicer house. A kennel or something? Because that dog really found it. Oh, Pickles.

You mean the national hero, Pickles. You mean the film star of the 1966 film, The Spy with the Cold Nose? No. He becomes a star. He's on talk shows. He's on talk shows. He's on Blue Peter. He starred in the film The Spy with the Cold Nose with Eric Sykes and June

Whitfield to Titans of the English comedy scene at the time, he was named Dog of the Year. Dog of the Year! By who? Dog magazine? Other dogs? It was a dog. It was a voted by popular vote from other dogs. He was awarded a year of free food by the pet food manufacturer spillers.

And as I was looking on his Wikipedia page, there was a very tantalizing link at the bottom. Like, you know, the sort of related, it was list of individual dogs. Oh, not all I expected to find was just like Rover, Rex, Rex too. But no, it's a list of actual dogs that have done things and the things they've done. Oh, I love it. I bet you lost a few hours there. Oh, big time. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Honey Tree Evil Eye was a female bull terrier who was played the part of Spuds McKenzie in the role. of Budweiser spokes dog. Sure. And what was the dog's name? Yeah. The real name, or the stage name. The real name was wilder than the stage name, I thought. Honey Tree, Evil Eye.

Any dog with the word evil in their name? Incredible. I think any dog with more than one name. Agreed. That's a real Scatigan approach to naming a dog. Honey, tree, evil eye. I don't know what the evil was that they saw. It was an evil eye.

Oh, I see, yes. Yeah. I've only just, my dog is two, and we realized the other day he doesn't have a middle name when we thought, well, that's not very fair. Oh, my gosh. So we gave me a middle name. Have you christened it? No.

Can you baptize dogs? I guess you could. Should you? Some of them like it. Should you? No, but you could technically, I suppose. Are there dog priests? Priest for dogs or dogs who have attended Bible school?

Ah, I see. Either or, I suppose. Anyway, Pickles has a Wikipedia page. Oh, we've got to ask, what's Goose the dog's middle name if you don't mind sharing? Montgomery. Fantastic choice. That's fun. That's great.

What's the surname? Simpson, which is my partner's surname. We didn't discuss whose surname the dog would get. The vet just decided. First time we took him to the vet, they just took my partner's name and wrote it down. So he's Goose Montgomery Simpson. I forgot vets do that. That's a bit much vets.

It's weird, isn't it? It is weird. Vets. Yeah. Any vets listening, we don't think that's normal, to be honest. Some people might do. Some people might go as far as to give their pet a middle name. That's right.

But personally... And I know there's lots of dogs called Daisy and you need to differentiate who's who. But maybe chat with the owners, you know? What name do you want me to put down? We could make up a whole new name for him. Anyway, whatever. Yes. It's just a patriarchy.

Good point, actually. The patriarchy. The patriarchy. Actually. Add it again. Thanks. I mean, Pickles, it's Dog of the Year. That's the best. England go on to win the World Cup, though, back to the football, and they celebrate. And they, you know, all the, I don't know if you've seen, because obviously, in England, it's a really big deal that we won the World Cup that one time. It's almost as, if you could imagine winning 10 games in a row, something like. Okay. Yes.

It's almost that good. There's a DVD about it. Yeah. Thank you for putting that in a context. we could understand. But James, they wouldn't have actually even won 10 games in a row, would they?

So it's not actually that impressive when you think about it. Fair point. I think, yes, I think it was a draw anyway,

this game until the very last minute. Oh, did Pickles run onto the pitch and push the ball into the... Oh, sadly,

no, but if he had... Well, there's nothing in the rulebook that says Pickles can't. Well, sadly, Pickles was over in L.A. attending the Oscars. Hosting the Oscars.

Doing a very witty and biting monologue. That pickles. That pickles. It had a real sort of Ricky Jervais vibe though. It was really roasting everyone, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. It won't age well, but it was fun at the time.

So, yeah, so like, it's like the England team, they've got the red shirts on and they're all celebrating and dancing around. The queen, the young queen is, you know, giving them the thing. They lift the trophy up, which is, it turns out actually quite a new thing to do. And then they go back to the changing room. They've got champagne, they're drinking. And then a policeman comes into that changing room with a coat on, a big coat. And in his pocket, he's got, you remember that fake one that the FAA made?

Yeah. He's got that fake one. And he goes over to, I believe it's knobby styles. which is not his rap name. That's his real name. Nobby. Nobby styles. Yep.

Okay. Who's quite pissed up, for one of a better words, on champagne and running around for two hours. And he's holding the trophy kind of quite dazed. And the policeman just takes it out of his hand, swaps it with the fake, doesn't say anything. Nobby doesn't even notice. I'm wondering if this is a real policeman. He was. He was a real, a genuine copper.

And they take that trophy off and put it in a safe. and no one knew, no one knew, apart from the coppers, this subterfuge had happened. So whenever you see, which you probably won't, but whenever any English person sees, like the England team in suits and stuff holding the trophy, that's not the real. That's the fake. And the cops went about that themselves. They weren't told by the FA or anyone to do that? No, they've been explicitly told by FIFA not to make a copy.

But they were like, we can't lose this again. And this was very embarrassing. Wow. We've got dogs, albeit very witty dogs, but they are doing a better job than the police at the moment. Whoa. So he just wanders in there totally aware that they are going to be pissed and not really paying that attention. And just, oh, can I just have a look at that for a second? That's beautiful.

There you go. Have that back. Wearing a comically large coat, I'm picturing. Three kid policemen. And yeah. And so that's George Byrd's fake, his special one that he'd make. made. From memory.

That's what's in all the pictures is the fake one. The real one was kept in a police safe until 1970 when it was given over to the next hosts. Oh, wow. Well, they kept in this safe for four years. And no one knew. No one knew. So there was a celebration banquet that day. So at that celebration banquet, the Jewel's remade trophy is not there.

But you know who is? Who? Pickles. Pickles. The guest of honor. He's invited to dinner. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. I hope he got human food that day You know Not just dog food I hope they served him a plane Whatever else was getting And he just got to have all this

That's the best Did Pickles meet the Queen? She loved dogs I think so I think Pickles was given The sort of like One of the biggest awards Like the equivalent of a knighthood

But for a dog He was given the keys To Buckingham Palace To the Buckingham Palace dog flap. Yeah. It's just the corgis and him. Oh, brace yourself, guys.

I've got some sad news. Pickles died in 1967. No. What? Whoa, just one year later. I'm guessing got in a drug. Yeah, live first. I don't know.

Don't tell me they do that at the end of your time as dog of the year. Oh, yeah. To make sure. It's like Saturnalia. Sorry. You get a week being the king dog and then you're sacrificed to the dog gods. Oh, wow. Oh, all.

RIPP, Pickles. Yeah. I was hoping it was going to still be with us. Yeah. The oldest dog. Oh, he would be in a lot of pain. He was, it's pretty grim. He was strangled by his choke chain lead.

He got caught on a tree branch while he was chasing a cat. Oh, my God. Pickles. That's awful. Oh, I got, surely this dog would have its own bodyguard. Should have. Yeah, a dog's, I chase a cat there, isn't it? That sounds like the FBI or someone got involved.

Yeah. inside job. I, it stinks. To me, it stinks. Yeah. And I'm thinking one name and one name alone. Nobby Stiles. Ooh.

And that's just because I'm thinking about that name a lot. Yeah. What a name. Nothing to do with this. I was thinking maybe, maybe, yeah, FBI, KGB. No, probably. C-I-A. Oh, FCC.

K-F-C. NBA. R-S-P-C-A. Yeah. Yes. Oh, that's probably closest. Notably hate animals. Yeah.

They don't like animals getting too big for the. boots. They also don't like to put animals in boots. That's right. Know you place pickles. Oh, that's a bummer. Yeah, sorry. Do you want to know who did steal the trophy though?

Yes. We know? Yeah, we know. Cool. It's a couple of small timers from London Tan who went by the names, because this was their names of Sid. And deck. Oh, no.

No, they're Jordies. That's a whole different. Oh, sorry. And they'd be like, we're a couple of small time hoods and we're going to take the World Cup. Now, fortunately, you don't know how offensive that was to the northeast population of the UK. No, I felt offensive. You kind of get it from context, right? Yeah, I didn't need the cultural background.

I felt it. I thought that was a loving homage. I just need to be careful if I go out chasing cats in a choke chain. That's right. Yes. In the north east. Now, these couple of words, Sid and Reg, Sidney Cougallier, whose nickname was Mr. Crafty. Come on.

The Cougal is right there. The Cougar is right there. But Mr. Crafty is way funnier. It's back in those days, isn't it, where you could kind of, there's no nicknames taken. Yeah. I would just be Mr. Crafty. I would have assumed that would be the name of, you know, the Art Attack host. Yeah.

Not a small time. criminal. Mr. Crafty. He was, yeah, Mr. Crafty, uh, Sid and Reg. They were, they were quite reasonably

low level hoods who'd do like, they'd do a job for you. Yeah, fix your Lakey tap. Whatever you need done, I'll get it done. Hey?

Got a squeaky inch. I'll get the WD4 if you know what I mean. Yeah. I'll do it. I'll find a way to get shaming for you. Yeah.

You want one of them, you want one of them portraits of yours. It's a silhouette. done by a pair of scissors. Oh, do that. You want to know a decent recipe for Pap Eamash? I got it. I'm Mr. Crafty.

Say no more. Say no more. Give me a couple of straws and a chopstick. I'll sort it out for you, darling. He's talking to a child. This is inappropriate. I love this character so much. A couple of straws and the chopsticks.

Mr. Crafty. Anything. Oh, dude. Look. There, cut here. Put a stick note on there. You got yourself a dinosaur son. Lovely.

You've got to make a diorama for a school project. I've got you covered, darling. Oh, I can help you. Bur cost. So, Mr. Crafty and his brother Reg, they go to that Methodist hall to check out the very valuable stamps that are on display. No way.

Because there's like Penny Blacks and whatnot in there. There's like stamps. that are worth money. There's one with the, probably one with the queen on upside down or something. Oh my God. The inverted Jerry or Jenny, whichever it is. Yes. Can you just turn it upside like it's a stamp?

It's a square. Just turn upside down. Oh, you've just, you've just ruined a lot of stamp collectors' dreams. Just like that. Thanks, Matt. I thought I had something there. I thought I was going to meet myself a millionaire. No, so they do the thing.

They unscrew the handles. go in and just case the joint, I believe is the term. And as they're walking out, Sid opens his jacket and says to Reg, have a look at this. And it's only the jewels remade trophy in his jacket pocket. Oh, that's a funny looking stamp. And Reg just like, oh, fuck, you know, what are you going to probably do with that, mate? He's a little less crafty, Reg.

He's more, he just likes photos. And, you know, yeah, I don't really. like any of that abstract stuff. I don't really get it. You give me a couple of straws and a chopstick. I'll drink my drink slightly faster. He's not, I'm saying he's not imaginative in the same way as Sid. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm trying to get it.

But, so Sid took the trophy home and he pops it on a mantle, and he says to his wife, look, I got your fancy new cup. And she'd, like, whatever. And then they're watching the news, and the robbery comes on the news, and she's, you know, double taking, left right and centre. She goes mad, basically. And then Sid and Reg kind of take it around the country. They're trying to work at what they could do with it. Oh, they gave it a tour as well. They got their own pushback. A criminal tour, because they were trying to find someone who would buy it off them or if they can melt it down. It turns out it's not solid gold, so it wasn't worth melting

it down. Oh, no. And so they realized they're going to have to do the ransom plot. And that, as we heard goes very badly for everyone involved, except at manufacturers of hold-alls. And they ultimately hide it under a random bush in Southlands. So they should have been the ones to go in and claim the reward, probably. Yeah, but I think because they were, I mean, he's known as Mr. Crafty. Yeah. Well, you would have got your middleman to do that. Or middleman.

You looked at me, basically there. Of course, the middleman. Now I understand. No, I think that guy was clearly inept. Yeah, I would have got, I mean, personal would have been arrested at that point as well because of the ransom thing going wrong. Right. And Sid always said that he was the first Englishman to lift the World Cup.

It's not a bad pun because to lift means to steal. Yeah. Great work, too. That is lovely stuff. Probably worth the jail time. Yeah. Did he end up writing a book about it and stuff like that doing speaking? to us?

No. Did he get as famous as pickles? He did not hit the big time. Did he choke on his choke chain? No, no. He died around 2000 and the story had not come out that it was him. It's only come out later from Reg. No.

Amazing. So he took it to his grave. No one was arrested at the time. No, no one was ever found. This was all like, it was sort of known within his family and it was a bit of a joke kind of thing and a bit of a story like Grand dad's story. Yeah.

But it never... It used to be a master criminal or whatever. Okay. Mr. Crafty. I thought, for some reason I thought this trophy was lost to time, but it's not. It's still sitting somewhere. And there's actually two versions of it? Well.

Is there more to this tale? Brazil went on to win the Jewels Rema trophy in their very next tournament in Mexico in 1970, and that was the third time they'd won it. So they were allowed to keep it. And it was put on display at the Brazilian Football Confederation. quarters in Rio de Janeiro and it was in a cabinet with a front of bulletproof glass because they'd really learned their lesson. But the back was very brittle glass. Yeah, no, their back was made of wood and it was forced open with the crowbar and the cut was stolen again. You're kidding.

On the 19th of December, 1983. Oh my God. Oh, why don't they use bulletproof wood? This is ridiculous. crowbar-proof wood at the very least That is so silly Funny And the trophy Has never been recovered Oh you're kidding What?

Because pickles That's it He's gone Yeah well pickles It's gone We can't get pickles on the case Get pickles on the scent And did pickles have a son

You know Or a daughter, an heir Oh, so disappointing A nephew like James Bond Jr Yes Wow That's so silly and so funny Yeah four people were

tried and convicted in absentia for that crime. It's widely believed to have been melted down and sold. Even though it wasn't pure gold. Yeah. Wow. So it's sort of a metaphor for anything in particular. It's sort of a metaphor for football. It's sort of a metaphor for English football. It's like we did it and then Brazil came along and just did it better and for a much longer amount of time, which that's quite good metaphor if you know about soccer. Yeah. So that's the tale of the World Cup heist. Oh, incredible. I never heard anything about that. No, I didn't know that at all. That's a fun story. That's a romp.

Yes, that is a romp. Has that ever been made in a film? Well, there was this sort of docudrama version which was voiced by, do you know, the film Snatch? Yes. You know, Bricktop. Yeah, no thanks, Turkish. I'm sweet enough. Yeah. Exactly. Who's also in No Me No New with Alan Partridge.

Oh, yeah, that's right. He's, Amoen, you're in a boat. You want to get sucked in? You want to get sucked in, Sunshine? Yeah, he does the voiceover. It is a bit much, though, for an entire voiceover. The voiceover of the dog or the trophy? Of the whole documentary story.

No, he's not the voice of the dog in a sort of. There was a film made like that, and the voice was Harry Enfield, the English comedian. Oh. But the one that I'm, yeah, that's a fictionalized account of the tale of pickles, which, yeah, I think it leaves out a lot of the drugs. I'm just looking up, so that's Alan Ford, that actor. And it says here, I think that his biggest claim to fame is that he's known for appearing as separate characters in eight different episodes of The Bill. Oh, yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

They brought him back eight different times. Eight different characters, really. Yeah, he's got range. He can play a stand-in-up cockney Or a sitting-down cockney I do love him I think he's hilarious It's so good

But that is I can't imagine him playing 8 very different characters Yeah they're all He played Tony Kemp He played Harry He played Frank Litton He played Maidle

That's a good Kraftee That's a good name for him George Doolie And Davey Rolfe And Lord Farkward The Third

All on the bill Wow Oh wow What a story Thank you so much for bringing that to us James What a roller coaster that was I loved it It was a real

Real roller coaster Yeah It was an Yeah So do you think Is there any theories About how England Has never won it again

And Oh you think like a curse Yeah Maybe some Is this some sort of curse maybe. Wow. I don't know.

I do love a sports curse. I bet you've covered plenty of them. Yeah, covered a curse or two. Yeah, a curse of the billy goat. Oh, the billy goat curse, yep, yep, yep. I think you talked about a few that day, actually, that episode maybe.

Yeah, that's because they love a curse in Major League Baseball. Baseball's quite superstitious. Yes, very much so. There was a famous Australian football curse that was broken a couple years ago, the curse of Norm Smith. Oh, no. Norm, what was he? Was he, was he a white witch? Yes, he was a white witch and Melbourne, the Melbourne demons, a very successful coach.

And they sacked him when he was on a, he was on a real streak, but one that ended in premierships. And, yeah, he got sacked and then they, they never won another premiership until 2021. Wow. Wow. It was like, I was like 60 years or something, Dray. Yeah. That's quite a lot, considering there's only 10 teams. No, that's not true. And we're doing the maths? How many teams are there?

18 teams, yeah. 18 teams? But you only play 22 games? Wait a minute. It's no good. I agree. It's an unfair competition. It's so funny because all of that just goes back to when there were 11 teams.

And then the competition's grown, but the season hasn't changed length. So they've got more teams but they haven't increased the amount of games? Yeah. Oh, that seems an oversight. Yeah, it's an odd thing. But I'd say that still means that 10 games in a row is really special. Very special, yes. I think that's the main takeaway from this story.

A special achievement from special boys. We're very proud of our special boys. Hey, speaking of special boys, If we want to hear more from you, James, you do a fantastic podcast with another special boy, Alistair Beckett King, called Lawman. Yes, yes. It's about sort of folk legends and like weird bits of history. You know, like your Robin Hoods and your King Arthur's, they're too mainstream. Way too mainstream for us.

We're talking about King Wolf here, for example. In fact, that is the topic in the very next. episode with your countryman Nick Mason. Ah, fantastic. He's popped up for a guest spot and depending on when this comes out, it's either happened or he's going to happen. Wow, that's exciting. And Dave and I were on an episode a little while ago and you talked about a pig that

decided where a cathedral was or something? Yeah, probably. That sounds about right. Yeah, there is a pit. There is actually a town called Lester where it was famous because the pig used to choose the mayor. I love that. People used to bribe it by putting beans in their lap,

and then it would to try and lure the pig over to them to make them. The mayor. Do you know who I'm jealous of in that setting? The pig. I want to be that pig. Everybody trying to bribe me, giving me treats. Yeah, but then a year later, you found hanging from a tree. because you chase a cat.

You've just got to be careful. You do have to be careful. I hope the RSPC hasn't listening to this episode. Oh, because they're running out. Yeah. Because we're blowing their case wide open. Oh, dear. Giving them ideas.

I love Lawman. Listen to it heaps. Fantastic podcast. Definitely recommend people to check it out. And thank you so much for joining us for this fantastic tale. Thanks for having me. True pleasure. I believe England's going to bring it home in, you know, any time now.

Yeah, that curse should be lifted any time. time now. Yeah. Me too. I really, really believe it. Because they haven't won since Pickles died,

have those? The Pickles curse. The Pickles curse. Huh. They've got to make amends with pickles somehow. Seance. Doggy Seance.

Doggy Seance. Doggy Seance. Yeah. Just, yeah, one, so your classic one with for yes, two, wuffs or no.

Absolutely classic. You got a Ouija board with woof on one side. Yeah. Woof, on the other. God, it's actually much easier. Yeah.

Just a sort of an alphabet of woofs around there. Yeah. As we say goodbye to James, it is now time to say hello to everyone's favorite section of the show where we get to thank some of our supporters. Yeah. Look, I'll just go out there and say it. These people support us. Wow, that is needy.

I feel like where the Jers-Jern trophy being lifted up by these supporters. The Jirls-Jern. Is that Josh Earl's journey? Look, I thought it would come to me as I started talking, but it didn't. So, yeah, if people want to get involved, they can join up at patreon.com slash sugar on pod. There's a bunch of different levels, all sorts of different things involved. But the main thing is, you know, the people who support us on Patreon, they're the ones who are making this show happen as well. Absolutely.

As there's bonus episodes that they get extra, but, you know, really, it's keeping this show going. So we love to spend a little bit of time at the end of each episode to thank them. And one of the sections we do here is called the fact quote or question section. You can get involved in this if you sign up at the Sydney-Shaunberg level or above. And I think it even has a little jingle. Go something like this. Fact quote or question. Ding.

Ah, he always remembers the dingh. She always remembers the sing. And this week, first up, we've got Sky two question marks. Oh, okay. Sky, everyone also gets to give themselves a title. Sky has the title of the Do Go On official art collector. Oh, wow, do you think it is? Collecting art on our behalf.

Oh, yeah, God, I hope so. Buying the Frida Carlos, buying the Matisse's, or it's Do Go On based art being collected by Sky. I hope both. Yeah, both are great for me. I hope there's in our, you know, like I hope we have so much that we can open a museum. And within that museum slash art gallery is, like the Dugo-on wing, where it's Dugo-on-themed art within the greater Dugawan Museum.

Do you know what I mean? I think there's some fantastic artwork floating around there. Yeah. So, yeah, I think that'd be fantastic. I love it. I want a big old oil painting portrait, like royalty. Oh, yeah. And I want my little dog there, too.

Look an old cute and royal. And your little dog, too. That sounds fantastic, Jess. Well, Sky is offering us a fact writing. Hey all I've got a hopefully dull fact Oh that's your specialty date I'll be the judge of that sky

Thank you so much No one getting too excited This might not be dull What's my doubt Here it goes Stephen Spielberg's sister Nancy Was once spooked by a coyote Dave

How's that for dull I mean Can I also be the arbiter Quite random things No Is that that's it? Yeah That's it.

Honestly. I love that. I love it because it's quite dull. I know, and I want to bring it up at parties and then wait for people to go, like the pause that we did. Yes. Well, the pause was written in. She wrote pause.

So I just pause and read out paws. Oh, you know. Okay, you take stage notes now. Yeah. Stage directions. That's interesting. Well, the pause has asterisks either side of it. Yes.

So hopefully I did that as Sky wanted me to. Hopefully I'm saying, name as well as requested. Thank you very much, Sky. Thank you for that dull fact. We don't often get a dull fact. I love a dull fact. Very happy to hear that.

Our next one comes from Roy Phillips, aka Vice Vice Roy. That really got me. And Roy is offering a suggestion saying, no tongue twister this time, Matt, but as I've recently gotten an air fryer for Christmas, I thought I'd share a recipe for a marinade-turned sauce. I've developed for fun

for fastidiously frying frankly fantastic food in my finally functional air friar especially chicken keep the skin on salmon keep the skin on or tofu try and take the skin off as much as possible this does about four chicken thighs or five to six salmon fillets

or about two blocks of tofu steaks wow okay you ready yes so if everyone wants to pause now and get their ingredients ready I'm just going to imagine, going to imagine the taste. Okay, fantastic. Right, right, right. I've got my air fr actually warming up here.

I've got my tongue warming up. So you've got two tablespoons light soy sauce. Two tablespoons dark soy sauce. Okay. Two teaspoons of honey slash sugar alternative. Yum. Is that light or dark? Sorry, it doesn't mention it.

Two cloves minced garlic. Yep. One teaspoon all spice slash five spice powder. Yep. One teaspoon smoked papyr. Okay. One teaspoon ground white pepper. Optional one chili or gochu jang for kick.

Does anyone know what that word, how that, what that word is? No. Chili. Okay. You idiot. Two tablespoons of water if using tofu, grated ginger, if you feel it. Let marinade zest, sorry, rest for a minimum. I struggle more with this than the tongue twisters.

Let marinade rest for a minimum of 30 minutes. minutes before cooking. If you consider this a brag also, that brings me up to the full FQQBS Pentector among some of the other guests. Well done. Congratulations. Roy. And that sounds freaking delicious. Yeah, I'm all in. I might just forget the protein. I'll just take a bowl of that and a spoon, please. Do you want any rice or veggies or anything? Just a spoon. Do you want it warmed up? I can put it in the soup thing I have in the trip tits club, but it will be far too hot. Yeah, I prefer cold than far too hot. But no, you're right.

I'll get some rice. Okay. That'd be fantastic. I'll put that in the soup thing. Oh, no. Thank you, Roy. The next one comes from Drew Forsberg, aka double O agent. And Drew Forsberg has a suggestion writing.

Oh, I've lost you. Where'd you go? Drew, where'd you go? Drew, where are you? Drew, where are you? jury writes Bah dun dun dun Dun dun

Dun Dun Dun Dun Now now I don't know what rhythm this meant to be

yet Bar Dun Dun Dun done Bar done done nah now Now

now Bar da done done nah now bar da dun done nah now

bar da dun done now bar da dun dun done ba da dun dun done Bar da dun dun

done Bar da dun do dun on the water, more than darkness in the depths. See him surface in every shadow. Oh, the wind I feel his breath. Golden eye, I found his weakness. Golden eye, he'll do what I please.

Golden eye, no time for sweetness. But a bitter kiss will bring him to his knees. You'll never know how I watched from the shadows as a child. You'll never know how it feels to be the one who's left behind. You'll never know the nights, the tears, the tears I've cried. But now my time has come. And time. Uh-huh.

We're hanging on everywhere here, mate. It's written pause in asterix. And time. Time is not on your side. Wow. Okay, I will stop there. The movie, the N64 game, and the song Golden. I, very self-referential all of a sudden.

Oh, a note of a totally great. and when we have more of them in our lives we are better for it. By the way, composing the message took me over an hour because a phone is not the ideal platform to be on whilst having to switch between Patreon, Spotify and whatever side I looked up the lyrics on. My point in the end of this, that song, a banger of course, is sung by Tina Turner. To my knowledge, you three have not done a report on her yet. The little I know about her seems interesting enough,

but I'm guessing her life is a lot more fascinating than that. So that's my suggestion, a Tina Turner bio. Thank you. Yeah, I think I've heard the start of that song, but I don't remember hearing that final verse. Oh, that's a great final verse. How does the barred undones go? Bum, bum, bum, bum.

Wee. Okay. Boom, bum, bum, bum. I'm sure it's not, nah, now. Because that's what we had before. Yeah, it could be. Dun dun dun dun. Nah, now.

I actually, that's my least favorite James Bond theme song. Wow. Which I... Because you really don't like the Jack White one as well, which I like. Oh, yeah, second least favorite. Hmm. On the drive over, I was listening to Joshua's fantastic podcast 100% hits where I'd been on a few months ago. Volume pod.

Volume pod. And Cheryl Crowe was one of the songs that he played. And I told him that my favorite James Bond song is... by Cheryl Crow. The world is not enough. Love that song. Fantastic. I did not know Cheryl Crow did a Bond song.

When Dave and I were driving back from a country gig around Christmas time, we played all of the Bond themes on the way back. Sorry, it's Tomorrow Never Dies. That's garbage. I was thinking of it. Tomorrow Never Dies. Fantastic song. Anyway.

You're playing more. Your absolute favorite. Well, I panicked on the spot. My absolute favorite. Oh, no, it's right. Cheryl Crow is the one I like. The garbage one's fine, but I love Tomorrow Never Dies. by Cheryl Crowe.

Fantastic. And I told Josh on his pod, because that's quite controversial, that's my favourite. But I also said that my least favourite is the Tina Turner one. I'm listening to him. On the way here.

One of the songs he plays on an episode with Ben Kochin is the Golden Eye song. And he goes, did you know that this is Dave Warnocky's favorite James Bond song? I was screaming at my iPod. And Ben's like, I have no idea who Dave Warnock is. He was very polite.

Was he? He goes, really? So yeah. Yeah. then later said, who the fuck is Dave Wonkie? And why is this his favourite? Great movie though. Fantastic movie, fantastic game, fantastic singer, written by Bono and the Edge that song.

Oh God, we've got him started now. Yeah, it's written by the Bono and the Edge. The Bono and the Edge. Yeah, exactly. And you two doing a residency in Vegas this year when I'm maybe going to be there. So do I go? Yes. I want feedback from our Irish listeners.

They love Bono. Yeah, when he teams up with the edge. Yeah. That's when I think magic happens. Magic really happens. And don't get me started on the other two. Michael Collins and Buzz Aldrin. The final one this week comes from Sophie Tudor, bracket, hodge, Matt.

Like, chew, chew, I believe in you. Hey, Sophie Tudor, I believe in you too. And Sophie is group mom. Brackets, wash your hands and come down. here. Dinner's ready. What is it? I don't like it. Well, you haven't even tried it yet. Oh, no, I don't like it. It's like a ginger and soy marinade. That was me as a kid. Sophie's offering a brag writing, what's the latest you've celebrated something after the date it's meant to be celebrated? I like how this is a brag because that sounds like a question.

COVID times doesn't count. My little group of four besties slash spells. are finally celebrating Christmas together on the 4th of Februeri in brackets, but you don't have to say that bit, Matt. Oh, thanks, sir. We usually do Janmas, but someone forgot to book the weekend off work. Damn it, James. Come on, James. Get your shit together.

So now we're doing Fembes. Okay, that doesn't feel crazy long. No. And yeah, if COVID times don't count, then I don't know. because I celebrated my 30th birthday two years late in Hawaii. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, I don't know.

That's a great question, though. Hmm. Yeah, I don't know if I ever celebrate things. I guess usually I'd be like, ah, it's gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I tend to do it a little bit too. I think I was away for a birthday of mine, and I'd maybe had it like the following month or something,

How we had a party? Yeah. Maybe. My friend and I caught up for dinner. My birthday's August. Hers is November. Sorry, October. And we caught up for our joint birthday somewhere in between.

So it was way too early for her and far too late for me. But it was beautiful. Beautiful sandwich. Several weeks later. I feel like within a few days of my birthday, if I haven't done anything, too bad. Too bad. Too bad. So sad.

It's coming back around. Wednesday. Pick one of the weekends either side. If you're leaving it weeks, nah, fuck you. How do you? Whoa. Whoa. Other people have birthdays.

No, fuck you. Whoa. How dare you fuck you. How dare you? Yep. Have a little fun in your life. How dare you? Thank you so much to our great fact quotes and questioners this week.

We also love to shout out a few of our other great supporters who are signed up on the, I believe, ask prod level or above. Correct. Shout out level or above. And just when we have a little game we play as we thank them. I could talk about what they stole. We could talk about their nickname, Mr. Crafty. We always do nicknames. What else could it be?

What their dog could have found? What their dog found. Or what they were planning on stealing but found instead. Oh, yeah, that's great. How about that? Stamps to trophies. All right. Well, if I can kick us off, I'd love to thank from Chicago in Illinois.

The Windy City. Oh. I'd love to thank God. Gur-Woof. Hmm. With an underscore in between. Ger-Wof. That's the end of the Buffy credits, isn't it?

No, that's Gur-Arg. Something like that? Yep, can't help you there. I'm sorry. Have never watched Buffy. Okay. I forget you didn't do culture. I don't do it.

I don't care for it. Okay, so GERWolf went into a bank, obviously intending to steal money, but instead stole hearts. Oh, yeah. Stockham syndrome. Yeah. People were like, wow, this person seems really cool and fun.

Got a few digits. Got some digits. No cash, we got a few digits. And found love. Oh, that's beautiful. Which is nice. With the security guard. Yeah.

That's beautiful. A really nice meat cute. Can't wait to tell that story at their wedding. On your guru wolf. I'd also love to think, ooh, address unknown. Can I only assume from somewhere deep within the fortress of the moles. it is Nick Zolizidis. Oh, incredible name that Nick.

Solicitis. Solisidus. Nick Solisidus. Nick Solisidus, beautiful name, beautiful person. And as such, went in to steal the Mona Lisa. Whoa. But unfortunately, came away just with a Monet. Oh, disappointing.

Got a little confused. Just saw the first three ladders. That's the one. And went, yep, that'll do. Got it. Oh. Yeah. How disappointing.

Yeah, yeah. To get away with a Monet. Yeah. Ugh. It's disappointing. Well, don't worry. It's in the bin now. Good.

Kept the frame, though, because it was quite pretty. It was a beautiful frame. Yeah, that's nice. Printed out the Mona Lisa on A4 and framed it. Much better. Home printer. Blot. I only got black and white.

Just stapled it on top of the Mone canvas. God, that's beautiful. Much better. Really brings the whole room together. Yeah, that is art. Thank you so much, Nick, for your support. I'd also love to thank from, let's say, Carrari in maybe, let's say, Mississippi, and let's say maybe the United States, it's Jasper Souls.

Jasper Souls, J.S. J.S. went to the gas station to steal a bag of Cheetos. Okay. Oh man, you're making me hungry. I'm already hungry. I think any food you just said was going to make me hungry. All right. And ended up stealing Ferrari that was served.

Whoa. Whoa. Let's call that a little upgrade. Yeah, yeah. But also, you're still hungry. Yeah. Got, I mean, can't eat a Ferrari, can you? The Ferrari was in the way of the door and he was like, oh, move it to get into the store to steal the Cheetos.

And then he was like, this drives beautifully. Oh, my gosh, this is great. What is this? Are these seat warmers? And then he found in the coin pocket. Yeah. What do you call that bit? Coin pocket.

The ball sack. In the ball sack of the Ferrari, there were loose Cheetos. Oh, wow. Relatively fresh. Win-win! Yeah. Relatively. Oh, that's such a good day for Jasper.

Yeah, fantastic. I love that for Jasper. I love that for Jasper. Oh, can I thank some people? Please do. I would love to thank from, oh my God, address unknown. What? Deep within the fortress of the moles.

We can only assume. Yeah. I would love to thank Reni Mitchell. Oh, yes, Reni. Went to steal a camera, walked away with a canary. Oh, yeah. That's an easy mistake. Easy mistake to make.

But it was hands. And he was just about to head to the mine. Exactly. And the canary died very quickly. And Rennie was like, let's get the fuck out of here. What am I doing? The whole plan for Rennie was to take some photos to see. Yeah.

But photos can't take pictures of cameras can't take pictures of... No, no, no, you were right the first time. Photos can't take pictures of gas. That's true. Can't do that. Canaries can take pictures of gas. And this one did. This one did.

Beautiful pictures. And it was so shocked, died of a heart attack. Yeah. It's light and warm in this room and we're going a bit silly. I would also love to thank from Pickerington in Ohio. Oh, God's country itself. Dan Fox. Oh, my God.

Fox is the dream surname, I think. It's such a great surname. It's so good. Dan Fox is so great. But from Ohio? From Ohio. I can only assume Dan Fox drives a Ferrari to wherever he's going to steal something. Yeah.

And what is that that he's going to steal? He wanted to steal a scarf? Mm-hmm. You walked away accidentally. Hot air balloon. You're absolutely right. You've got... Again, easy mistake to make.

Yeah, hang on. Is this a scarf or I'll tuck this under my jacket? Yeah. Walk out to the car. Oh, fuck. It was attached to a. Again. Oh, my God, another hot air balloon.

Where are I going to put this with the others? Yeah, I've got to store eight hot air balloons now. I can't stop doing this. The reason I want to get a scarf is it gets bloody cold up there. Yeah. Now I'm in a hot air balloon attached to another hot air balloon. This is bullshit. So what it is, he rejigged it.

You know that bit that shoots fire out? He took one of those off one of his spares and put it in. So now he has two, one of them to heat himself. He just blast that right at his face. Yeah. That's the ingenuity. Sorry, not his face right at his neck where a scarf would normally warm. That's the ingenuity that I expect from Dan Fox.

Dan Fox. You absolute Fox. And I would also love to thank from Seattle, Washington. No, baby I hear. Nope. I'll do the whole thing otherwise. I have to stop myself. I'd love to thank Tess Mussolino.

Tess Moosolino. I like the name Tess, but I realize as I say that I think I'd like it because it's very close to my name. Tess is great. I think it's a... I'd say it's better than Jess. It's way better than Jess. It's less common, but it's still common. So like nobody's mispronouncing it.

I'm going test number one, Jess number two, Bess number three. Yeah, Bess sucks. No offense, Bess. I love you. No. You know like Bess. Bess is from with Bess. I don't mind Bess, but I think Jess is slightly better than Bess. Right, but he's...

Oh, okay, my opinion is not... It's not valid here? Well, I'm following up, what's better? Bessie or Jesse? Oh, Bessie. Bessie's... Are we talking for cows or for people? We're talking people here.

We'll do cows in a minute. You cannot call a person Bessie. I think you can and I do. I like that name Bessie. No, you're wrong, though, but that's the thing. Bessie's better than Jesse, easy. What about Tessie? Tessie, I reckon Bessie, if you're going to add the Ie,

Yeah, Bess goes to Bessie's number one. Exactly. What a great name. Jesse number two, Tessie number three. So Jess solidly number two. Yeah, yeah. But what if you go Jessica? Jessica, Bessica, Jessica.

Jessica's number one there, if I want. Yes. But what's better, Tessica or Bessica? Tessica. Tessica. See, they all occupy a different spot. This is great. Huh.

That's nice. Solid names. Yeah, great names. Tessie, Bessie, Jesse, whatever. Whatever. Do you want to thank some people, Dave? Do we give Tess Mussolino and I don't? Oh, no, I'm so sorry, Tess, we got so distracted.

Well, how great your name is. Well, how great. Some names are. Jess and I think your name is. Dave, I think Bess is all that. Disgusting. But Tessa is better than Bessa. Tessa is better than Bessa.

And Jessa. Jessa is down to number three there. Yeah, agreed. Tessa's one, Besser 2, Jessa 3. And I'm going to say this test, I can categorically say is better than any Bessie I've ever met, even though I like the name Bessie. You're wrong though. So Tess Mussolino went in to steal a calzone.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, love them. Yeah, fresh out of the oven. But instead, accidentally took a whole tray of those chocolate volcano desserts. Oh, wow. Yum. Not a bad mistake to make, to be honest. Well, yeah, because that was the thing.

Tess went in there thinking, I'm craving savory. Yeah, yeah. But then she saw the chocolate and went, you know, What? Much like Dave did for dinner tonight. I'm going to go skip scrape, skip, scrape. Skip, scrape. I did skip scrape to an ice cream tonight. I think that was off pod, but I didn't have dinner. I had a chocolate ice cream on the way here. It's the only thing I could grab on the go. And I did not regret it. Because you didn't have any calzone's ready. No, calzones. I didn't have any volcano desserts either. Is that a, what kind of house do you live in that you don't have calzones and volcanoes ready to go? It's an absolute hovel.

I've got them right by the door. Tess, great work. Hey, I'd like to thank a few people now. This is from Collingswood in New Jersey. New Jersey. Sorry about that. And this is Caroline Ruck. Oh, yeah.

Now, that's the name you can set your watch to. Yeah, Caroline Ruck. Was that the name of the actor? Alan Ruck. Because Alan Ruck is our new obsession on the phrasing the Bar podcast. Oh, that's right. Phrasing the Bar. Which is our Patreon-only show where we go through all the films of

of Brendan Fraser, but we've watched so many of his films now. We think there's only about a year left going through one a month. What are we going to do after this? Are we one step away from... I can only assume yes. You're allowed to the great actor Ellen Ruck? Please let us know. He's potentially our new actor that we love.

But Caroline Ruck went in to steal a Joe DiMaggio baseball card. Whoa. With millions of dollars. But ended up stealing home base. Nice. So, yeah. And that was to win the World Series. Yeah, like literally baseball or because I think Dave's gone dirty.

Oh, oh, that's, you don't steal that one, Dave, no. I just think it's nice you get a home run. Yeah, but let's make sure the keepers waving you win. So they do that in basketball? Yeah, they say, in you come. The keeper. Come on. Hey, which side are you fucking on here?

Obviously. Oh, you're clear to go. Clear land. Well, just hold the ball. Let them come in. Hit the base and then Tupper's, oh, so you missed them. Yeah. Home run.

Hey? And that's why they just go, let's all get a score here today. Yeah, it's nice. Go where Caroline Ruckie stole that base. But I obviously wish you won the Joe DiMaggio baseball card, but good luck. Well, the other thing is that Caroline Ruck now has her own card that's worth just as much as Joe DiMaggio. Just as, stole one home base and to win the world series. Worth just as much as Joe DiMaggio, who is reference.

Isn't it? No, I'm thinking of a different song. Never mind. He's referenced in a song, isn't he? Is he? Yeah, yeah. Paul and Simon. He's in?

Simon Garfunkel. Mr. Robinson. Here's to you, Joe DiMaggio. Yeah. He is referenced in the... We didn't start the far as well. Yeah. Is that what you're thinking?

Yeah. Joe de Maggio. You read my mind. I knew that's what you were. Travelling in a suitcase. Einstein, Janestein. A bit of fun there. We've done another bonus episode on all the people in that song that Matt took us through last year.

A golden shiny Gary award winning episode. That's right. Drol in the Sue was. I would like to thank now from Ottawa in Illinois. That's right. This Ottawa is in the United States. It's Nate B. Nate B.

Nate B cool. Nate B. In my books. Nate B. Stealing. Nate be stealing textbooks. Oh, yeah. To sell at a marked up price to privileged college kids.

That's what Nate won't to steal, but what did he? What he actually stole was the car of the crusty old dean. Oh, that crusty old dean. Yeah. Probably a Volkswagen. It was a Volvo. A Volvo is what I meant to say. A Volvo.

He stole it. Yeah. A crusty old dean. And he crashed it into the river. Oh, no. Yeah, and then he ran away. Come on, Nate B. Nate be better than that.

Nate B, I support you. They'd be better than that. That. And finally, I'd like to thank from Scottsdale in Tasmania. It's Katie Selsbury. Oh. Katie Selsbury. Selsbury.

Went in to steal the 4th of July. Okay. Went to steal the 4th of July as a concept, yes. Yeah, to take it for Tasmania. That's right. Looking for independence. Yes. From mainland Australia.

Yes. But came back from America. What did you come back from America with again? and Jess? Came back with... Oh, Dave, sorry, not Jess. Dave, what did she come back with again? I came back with a napkin.

Yes. From five guys. I feel like a restaurant. Mine was worse, but somehow still better. What was yours? Butt plugs. Oh, butt plugs, yes. Like so many of them.

Well, like an... Started a nice little side hustle. Like an industrial quantity of butt plugs. Well, I mean, when you're done with the plug, how are you going to clean it? You're going to need a napkin from five guys. That's so true. I think of Katie, Nate, Caroline, Test, Dan, Rennie, Jasper, Nick and Gur. And finally, we need to bring in a few people into the Tripditch Club.

How does this work again, Jess? Well, if you support us on the Sydney-Shineberg deluxe level. No, just shout out level or above, the arse-prod level above. Yes. Four. Matt was so angry Then he punched the table Get it right

We've been doing it for years I'm sorry If you support us for three consecutive years Over on patreon.com Slash do go on pod You are welcomed Kindly and warmly Into the TripDitch Club

It's a lounge It's a cool hangout spot We have music We have computers And you can play video games Up the back There's a little There's some places to nap

and there's state of the art bathrooms. Whoa. We just had them renovated. Does they have boo days? No. And what it is is... Don't believe in them. Matt's on the door.

He's got the clipboard. He's bringing you in. Dave's going to hype you up. I'm behind the bar, so come see me when you need a libation of some kind. And this time I'll be serving everything in little trophies. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, most of them are Dave's participation awards

that his parents made for him because he never actually won anything at school. That was nice of them. It wasn't nice. And yeah, so Matt, you can bring him in. Dave, you usually book a band as well? You're never going to believe it. What? You're never going to believe who I booked this week.

What? Singing their song, Football's Coming Home, it's Badiel and Skinner and Lightning Seeds back together at last. Finally, what the people have been asking for. That's great. I'm so excited to hear that tune. I think it's called Three Lions, technically. The band, because they're English comedians, aren't they, I believe?

Yeah, that's right. And then the lightning seeds is a rock band. Oh, finally. I love rock and roll. Two tartans coming together. Comedy and rock, they said it couldn't be done. What is this? Triple M?

Triple M. Uh, I'm losing my head. So, I'm going to bring them in. I'm on the door, am I right? Correct. I'm going to lift that velvet rope. I'm going to read out five. names today. Dave's on stage. He's them saying he's going to hype you up as you enter.

Everyone else is already in the club's going to be chanting your name. Yep. Along to whatever Dave's saying. He says really catchy things. Exactly. It's catching on. Are you ready, Dave? You got the mic in hand? I got the mic and I know how to rock this mic right. I should just say I hype Dave as well. Very important. I just didn't want that to be out of context and you're like, what the fuck is

Jess doing? What is she? Dave is very, you know, sensitive, very fragile. He's shy. So he needs, he needs. He needs. He needs a little boost. All right, motherfuckers. Who's ready to pass? He's shy. Sorry about him. All right, everybody.

Come on. Let's lift that velvet row. Oh, oh, oh. Here we go. Come on. Hit me with some names. Number one. Chandler and Arizona in the United States is Mandy Wright.

Oh, they ain't Mandy wrong. Let me tell you that. Could they be any more Mandy ride? From Camira in Queensland, Australia. It's Matt Stafford. Well, you know how Shakespeare is from Stratford upon Avon. Yes. This next person is also called the Bard, but then staff from Stafford upon Avin.

Yeah, Matt Stafford. Matt Stafford upon David. Come on in, my lord. Could he be any more, Matt? I wonder if you can do anything with this from Collingwood in Victoria Australia. It's Bernard Too Good. Burnet. Fuck.

Collingwood, maybe something in Collingwood. Collingwood. Collingwood be a good place to live. And that's where Bernard lives. Woo, Berlis. From Wixom's in Great Britain, it's Josh Ware. I need you to be aware of a legend named Josh. Yeah, come on in, Josh.

And finally from address, I know, oh, can only shim from somewhere deep within the fortress of the malls. It's faux bus driver. Hail to the faux bus driver, bus driver, bus driver, bus driver, hail to the faux bus driver, bus driver, Bus driver, phone. Welcome into the club, make yourselves at home. Please hang around for the music of, what was that band called again? Lightning Seeds.

Lightning Seas. Welcome in to Phoebe Bus Driver, Fee Bus Driver, Josh, Bernard, Matt and Mandy. I've just going to say quietly, Bernard, you are too good. What? That doesn't make any sense. Yeah. I should just mention, I've, I've, I've, made, I forgot to mention the snacks I have and I've made a football out of hummus.

Oh. What's the structural integrity like? Hope you got Mr. Crafty into. Nah, I just did it. It's just a ball of hummus. That's a really good. How's it staying up? I don't know.

Not too well if you could start eating it, please. That's a very sloppy bowl. But I need you to, as you scoop it, I need you to try and like keep the ball shape. Okay, yeah. Don't just like go in there and take a chunk or all. I'm going to stand by the hummus. Just make sure. You stand by it. You worked out and now you stand by it.

Everybody's scooping at an appropriate angle. Fantastic. Keep on scooping everyone. I haven't provided anything to scoop it with, so I hope you've brought bickies. Yeah, all your hands. Yeah, I'll be away with bickies everywhere I go. Just in case. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode.

Jess, do we need to tell anything to people say anything? Do we need to... Yes. Yep. Just sorry about the hummus ball. And also, you can support us at Patreon. com slash do go on pod find us at dogoonpod.com. Is that it? Yeah, they said dogoonpod.com. I'm on there right now. What a fantastic website.

A beautiful website. And also at dogo on pod across social media. You can suggest a topic. There's a link in the show notes and also over at that beautiful website. And the final thing to remember is that we love you. Never forget. Not Dave. No, Dave is indifferent to you. Yeah, you're fine. He's aloof. Exactly. I can't be tamed. He's a bad boy I'm an unattainable heartthrob

Just when you think you've got me That's next year show Un attainable heartthrob It's a pretty good title That's good Wrap it up Davey boy Okay we'll be back next week With another fantastic episode

But until then I'll say Thank you so much for listening And goodbye Later's Bye What is this? The town from footloose Yeah what's it

John Lithgow's the Prime Minister Now of your place What's going on over there Sounds more like Foot and tart to me Yeah Very nice, very nice. You were playing on those courts where instead of the basketball ring having a net, it's got a chain hanging down.

Oh, whoa. Those were very cool. That were great. Even a basketball court is kind of blow in my mind. That is. Oof. Fancy. That's what I call fancy.

My primary school had a basketball court, James. What? Did you go to the primary school of hard knocks? It was good because you had the downhill end of the court and the uphill. Oh, God. The change of ends. It changed the game. Yeah.

It was like kicking with the wind in footy. Big advantage. Huge advantage. All we had was we had a netball pole that would occasionally get brought out and you do your netballing. Nothing's such as fancy as basketball. You didn't know backward. Wow. Now, I've got to ask, on the top of the bowl, was there a goal?

Are we just shooting onto a pole? No, it's just the pole. Just the pole. No, hoop. That's how Don Bradman learned cricket. Similar sort of way. I think Andrew Gay's learned basketball by shooting onto the top of a pole. I'll say you get accurate.

You never miss. Precision. That's true. Yeah, no, we didn't have such joys. Anyway, I'm also a big lemon and sugar man. Me too. Oh, lemon and sugar is also my choice. Do you know what I did today though?

Or, yeah, just yesterday is I bought, I was at the supermarket getting a few bits and pieces. And of course they already have the Easter eggs out. They've been out for months. And I just bought a little piece. packet of them. Little mint chocolate eggs because I don't have to wait for mum to do it. I can just buy them whenever I have my own money. I'm an adult. Whoa, you don't have to convince us, mate. I had to convince myself. I was like, I can't have. That's not Easter. No, I'm telling you, it's fine. It's fine. It's like, guys, seriously, please.

You've already, you've eaten the packet. You're still trying to convince yourself and everyone else. I have them in my bag and I was going to offer you one, but now you don't get one. Oh, damn. Oh, you just talk yourself out of a mint egg, yes, along with the DVD player. Of course. Thank you. As long as it's region free, chocolate egg. I'm happy. Oh, man.

Do you have Malteseers? Yes. We've chatted briefly. I know me and Dave and Matt have talked briefly about international Cadbury's items. But do you have the mini eggs, Cadbury's mini eggs? Yeah. With Mr. Cabri's parrot? or is that this is getting too niche?

I think that's too niche. Are you starting to take the piss now, James? No, Mr. Cabrhus Parris. That whispers a riddle and you have to unlock it. Is Skiddly Willups involved? You guys have Skiddley Willups, right? No, Mr. Cabriss Parr. When Mr. Cabri's Parrot says hello and so on,

the rest of the song that I can't remember. No, but Maltisers have a seasonal bar thing called the Maltista. Oh. You can see it's not much of a stretch for them to change the font. And it's a rabbit in the shape. And it's made of basically crushed up Maltese's. Yeah, yes. That's so good.

Or it sounds like it would be. Delicious. No, we have them. We have like little, I've seen little mini ones. Delicious. Such a little treat. Yeah, yeah, yep. We've gone off topic and I apologize, but also delicious.

So young. But you don't have to wait for your mum to buy them for you. No, you can just buy them. That's the thing. Just by himself. So exciting. Just a little PSA. Why one for mum? Just in case she comes round.

Just to forb her off. Do they ever get desperate to have to use Captain Cadbury's parrot? Mr. Mr. He can't use a thing that doesn't exist. Mr. Cadbury's parrot. He was discharged dishonorably from the army and he's not allowed to continue with his rank. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there.

Wherever we go, we always hear. year six months later oh you should come to manchester we were just in manchester but this way you'll never will never miss out and don't forget to sign up go to our instagram click our link tree very very easy it means we know to come to you and you also know that we're coming to you yeah you will come to you you come to us very good and we give you a spam free guarantee