Do Go On - 388 - The Hatton Garden Heist

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

It's a heist episode, and it's the best kind of heist - a bunch of old men, out for one last job. This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 00:03:56 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Do Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hatton_Garden_safe_deposit_burglaryhttps://www.theweek.co.uk/63246/how-the-real-hatton-garden-robbery-played-outhttps://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/jan/23/one-last-job-inside-story-of-the-hatton-garden-heisthttps://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2016/03/biggest-jewel-heist-in-british-historyhttps://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/hatton-garden-heist-ringleader-brian-reader-may-only-have-months-to-live-a6917041.htmlhttps://www.crimeandinvestigation.co.uk/article/the-hatton-garden-criminals Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky, and as always, I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Oh, come on. I feel like you're putting Matt Stewart first a lot lately.

I honestly try to mix it up week to week and I didn't know where I was there. And I thought, you know what? Someone that will let it go is Jeff Pookewis. But Matt over there, he would be fuming. He would have stormed out. Yeah. I get a real B in my bonnet over these sort of things. Yeah, you've got a real tally going on.

Yeah. I think the last 20, five episodes or so. I think Matt now is on 13. Jess is on 12. Okay. Oh, there you go. Well, you know, and that makes me think, how good is it to be alive? Yeah. Great to hear it. Feel so great. Preach it, brother. Hey, Jess, you're so good at explaining things. Can you explain a new listeners how this show works? Absolutely. So, um, I'm Jess. That one's Matt. You say something. Hi, I'm Matt. And that one's Dave. This one's Dave. The three of us, uh, together combined, I do go on.

Do go on, Tam. I thought we'd all say it. Voltron. We are Voltron. And we take it in turns each week and have done for so many weeks to research a topic, bring it back to the other two and tell them all about it. And they listen politely. They never go on dog shit riffs. And we're always very respectful of one another.

And we usually get on to topic with a question. It is my turn to do a report this week. And do you have a question? I sure do. Okay. My question is, in 2015, what were Mr. Mr. Ginger, Mr. Strong, Mr. Montana, the gent, the tall man, and the old man responsible for. Oh, they're definitely cat names, are they?

Oh, really, I thought they were spice boys. Oh, ginger. Maybe spice cats? Oh, spice cats, spicy cats. It is not spicy cats. Well, they found, it sounds like they're going to be responsible for a crime against fashion. Why is that? Is it some sort of fashion heist?

It's not a fashion hise. Tall man. Is it Mr. Men related at all? tall man, Mr. Ginger. Sorry, I put the wrong emphasis there. It's not a fashion hise. Okay. A bank heist?

It's pretty much a bank heist, yes. Whoa. That's exciting. Wow. It's a, it's a... We've gone heist. I know. We've become the The Hife pod.

Well, like... Every hour and then we talk about Nicholas Cager and Deanna Jones, but mostly it's hifed. Well, this was voted on by the Patreon, so they're obviously in a bit of a hoist mood. Yeah. You know, I gave them other options that were not heisty. I can't get enough.

I love a hoist. I love a hoist. I love a hise. I love a hush. And every time it's like the crime of the century, the biggest thing ever. And I'm like, how many are there? And then you hear it, you go, that is actually one of the most audacious ones ever. But there's so many.

Yeah, there's a lot of crimes of the century. Humans are great at crime. Oh, man, we're good at it. And yeah, so this has been voted on by the Patreon. It's been suggested by a bunch of people, including Alex Ryan, Johnny Dawson, Haid Coochank, Ronan Williams, Jennifer Wellover, Charlotte and Sam Lacey. What about Tallman? Did Tallman suggest it?

Tallman did not suggest it. But that's a sign that this is going to be, yeah, Ripper. It's a bit of fun. It's a fun story. Those names are amazing. And it's quite recent. This is in 2015.

You're right. So. What country? I guess we'll find out. I guess you'll find out if you just shudder. Literally actually, you'll find out in the fourth word. Fourth word. All right.

I can't wait. Fifth word. Damn it, because I've just realized I've left a word out. Sixth word. This is. Are these words counting? This is a good sign early on. Your first sentence, you've missed a word.

I've just missed the word is. Our story, no. Read it without is. Read it without. Read it as is. It's in. Okay. Don't say it. I'll read it without.

I'll read it without. Exactly. As the writer intended. The writer is me. Our story takes place London's famous Hatton Garden. Oh. The centre of the UK's diamond trade and home to over 300 jewellery businesses. The area takes its name from Sir Christopher Hatton, the famous English Lord Chancellor

and politician in the 16th century. That's about all we'll hear about Christopher Hatton. But Hatt and Garden, it's just an area of London with lots and lots of jewelry shops. Fantastic. I've been there a lot. Have you? Do a lot of diamond shopping there, get my rubies.

Yeah. Who do you visit the Diamond guys? Yeah, yeah, the Diamonds. Sit down, have a beer. We know Diamond, so you don't need to. You have those ads? No. And sports radio.

Of course. I actually prefer... So you missos force a bit of propose. We'll make it easy and a bit of fun for you. We've got NRL on one TV AFL on the other And highlight to the 97 grand final On a different screen

Well I'm not going on that We lost We got a pool table Why did you pick out The Grand Final of Saints lost? No, the NRL Grandfinal Oh NRL Grandfair Go roosters whoever

Whoever We've got beers We've got topless sales assistants My Matt Oh my God Bringing around diamonds on a tray Is that really a thing? I think of it, what's it called?

It's called the Diamond Guys. I'm thinking, I'm going to do a fake out in my show about them. Love it. And I think maybe I've just found the voice for it. I want to do it. Let me do it. I want you to do it. I love to take the piss of men.

No, good on you. If you don't, you know, it can be intimidating going into a joy. Now that I think about it, actually, maybe there's something in it, you know? Maybe it's a bit intimidating. It's very funny that they're lowering their inhibitions before getting them to make a big purchase? Yes. And saying that, hey, look, guys, we're letting you have a beer.

Why don't you have another beer? Yeah. And another one. You look this. You want another beer? Now let's start looking at a more expensive range of diamonds. How much do you love her? Yeah.

Another five grand's worth? I mean, can you put a price on love? Yes. You know what? I really love her. Yeah. Wow, we better go to the top shelf diamonds. And if that horse gets scratched, you get the diamond for free.

It's very funny. but also like, I mean, it could just walk into a jeweler and say, hey, I don't know a whole lot about diamonds. That's why I always go to my preferred jeweler, Angus and Coot. That's a great name. They're always in shopping centres, so it makes me laugh every time. Oh, one diamond please, Mr. Coot. Or Angus?

Oh, Mrs. Angus. Thank you. Mrs. Angus. Mr. Coot. Together they are Angus and Coot. They're back to back. We've gotten distracted very early. So on the evening of April 2nd, 2015, Staff at Hatt & Garden Safe Deposit, LTD.

So it's a safety deposit business rather than a bank, but they're essentially a bank. It was similar to the Brinks one, a few weeks ago. It is my dream one day to go into one of those vaults where you have like your little drawer and they give you the key and they say probably in a French accent because it's usually in Europe. Just let us know when you're done. So Jason Bourne. You want to be Jason born. I just think of the same. I just watched that recently for the first time.

Oh, really? Yeah. There's a gun in there? Yeah. And about 9,000. What does it all mean? He's like, who am I? Did you finish it?

Yeah. Okay, I was going to say, because you do get an answer. No spoilers. But you find out. But you figure it out. You're like, who is this strange man? Oh, well, I only had 15 minutes, so I turned it off. We'll never know.

It's April 2nd, 2015. Staff are locking up for the night and looked forward to the next four days off work for the Easter long weekend. When they returned on Tuesday morning, they discovered a terrible sight. they had been burgled. Oh my God. So we're coming up to the eight-year anniversary. This will be coming out just around the exact time.

Yeah. Eight years. What is that? Is that the diamond anniversary? The diamond guy. Every year's, every anniversary is a diamond anniversary of those guys. Oh, your third one, you know what that means. Diamonds.

God, those diamonds. Women love fresh diamonds. They love fresh diamonds. I'm fresh. The fresh of the better. Smell that? That's fresh. They've got like just bread baking in the back just to make you be like,

that does smell good. Yeah. Because men can't tell the difference with bread and diamonds. And every time you go past the bakery, you're like, I need another diamond. I need another diamond. Fuck. I love my wife. Yes.

And her diamonds get a little stale at home. They don't last very long. No. Yes. Geez. Unlike I love. Over the four day weekend, thieves had broken into their secure vault and stolen an estimated $14 million worth of gold, jewelry, money, the works.

Some estimates are way, way higher. Some are like 300 million pounds. Right, but I guess it's one of those things where inside the box you could have whatever. Exactly. So you don't have to tell them. Yeah. I suppose until you claim the insurance. And then you just lie.

Yes, I had $14 million of cash in my small box. Yeah. So estimates are varied, but a lot of them sort of settle around 14 million pounds. Given advancement in security technology and CCTV, bank robberies and break-ins have become less and less common. One article written for The Guardian in 2016 says bank robberies had dropped from 847 nationally in 1992 to 108 by 2012. In London, the number fell from 290 to 26 in the same period. That is awful. All those thieves are to work.

Yeah. They just have to, you know, it's just, I don't know, thievery had moved more modern, you know. I know they're sending text messages being like, Hi, it's mum here. You haven't paid your E-link account. Hey, mum, it's me. I've lost my phone. Please send me $25,000.

Yeah, delete this number, Mom, and message me on WhatsApp. That's when I got recently. I was who's falling for that? And I'm like, oh, moms. I saw one in an article that was so specific. It was like, hi, mom, your daughter here, like didn't say obviously the name. And then it's like, something happened. I dropped my phone in a toilet now, like this crazy.

convoluted story as to why they couldn't send a photo of them and all this sort of stuff because their phone fell in the loop. I mean, it totally makes sense that it would catch people. Because if you do, like, if it just sounds like your daughter's voice or whatever, you'd probably be like, you know, there'd be enough that you put out a thousand or a hundred thousand those messages. You're going to get some takers. My daughter does.

Speak very robotically. My daughter does drop stuff in the toilet. Yeah. Normally poop. English is her fourth language. I just can confuse my phone with my person. poop again. Her sentence structure is confusing at times.

That article also says that that type of crime had largely been replaced by cyber thefts. For an old school crime such as Hatt and Garden, there was a vastly depleted pool of the usual suspects to be put under surveillance. So who were these usual suspects? Mr. Spacey? Kaiser Sese. Also, the names that I mentioned before in my question, don't come up a heap. It's just like one newspaper article I thought it was pretty funny. Fantastic.

And I think one of the people suggesting it just put like all those names in there. And I was like, that's good stuff. So they're, but they are some of the suspects. Yes. Tall boy. The tall man. Johnny Ginger. Well, we start off with 76 year old Brian Reader, who's the governor.

That's so good. Or the master. Played by the brick hat guy. The guy. Brick top. For sure. No thanks, Turkish. Sweet enough.

He was no stranger to crime. In fact, actually, I think he's been played by Michael Kane. Oh, but more of a gentleman. He was said to have moved in the same circles as some of London's most notorious criminals, including the infamous Kenneth Noy. Noy and Reader found an undercover police officer spying on them in the grounds of Noy's home. Noy stabbed the officer 11 times. They were both charged with murder, but Reader and Noy were acquitted of this crime after

Rita claimed he wasn't there, and Noy claimed he acted in self-defense. So he's got like a pretty varied criminal past, Brian Reader. He'd been involved in a similar robbery in 1983, a crime for which he received an eight-year sentence for conspiracy to handle stolen goods. So he's now 76. In his crew was Terry Perkins. No relation. 67, who was an extraordinary character, according to his friends. He'd served 22 years for his role in the 1983 Security Express robbery, which saw 6 million pounds stolen.

Also, over a long Easter weekend. It's interesting that it is the older, older fellas, because you're the same. Like you're saying, it's sort of dying art. Exactly. So it's just, they're still at it. This is what they're good at. Whereas the next generation. Yeah.

Just doing cyber theft. Yeah. From their homes. Oh, just doing cyber bully instead. Lucrative industry. I just remember that I had my bank hacked. It can happen to more than just mums. It can also happen to doofy boys.

Doofy boys. Hi, doofy boy. I've lost my phone. I'm still not sure. They, um, they, they, um, they, they, um, they, they, they, um, they, they, um, they, they, They did it by, like, I forget what they call it, but they basically stole my phone number, not my phone. And my phone just stopped working and I'm like, what's going on here?

But it turned out that they'd somehow taken my phone. Oh, wow. They like ported your number or something. Ported my number. Yeah, yeah. And then they used that to get into the bank account. See, all of that jargon means nothing to these seven-year-old men. They have no idea what you're talking about.

Michael Kane doesn't know. Yeah, Michael Kane's like, yeah, I'll port the money. That's not how he sounds, Dave. I'll port your money. Oh, yeah. Michael Kane. My name is Michael Cade. I'll port your money and I'll head it to you.

Quick, quick stat. No, thanks. Turkish. I'm sweet enough. Come with that recast him. God, we're good. God, he was good. Yeah.

But yeah, they do the old school port, which is a bit of dynamite, tight to a bit of iron, get the mini in there, pull it off. Yep. And then celebrate with a glass of port. Exactly. That's right. Yeah. Simple. Simple. The good old days of crime. So Terry Perkins, he'd escaped from prison in 1995 and was at large until 2012.

You never hear him getting away for that long. That long. Then he was recaptured back to prison and he was released from prison not long before the highest in Hatt and Garden. The gang also included veteran criminal John Collins 74, who had a rap sheet going back over 50 years. Another older man. Yeah, they're all old. Is this called the old man robbery? Pretty much, yes. But it has been made into a film? A few films. Who else is it? I think I've seen a preview for an old man robbery.

Michael Kane and maybe. I can't remember what it's called. I've got it at the end. I can't remember what it's called. Joe Pesci, see there? No, not Joe Pesci. Jim Broadbent's in it. Maybe Morgan Freeman.

King of Thieves is what it's called. Morgan Freeman's in Old Man movies. I'm thinking of a different old man movie. You're thinking of a different old man movie. With Joe Pesci. No one with Joe Pesci. They go fishing or something. No, that's a different one again.

That's the one with a guy. from lethal weapon. Doesn't matter. Yeah, but you've both got your laptops out now. Grumpy old men. So you're both Googling movie titles. Okay. I don't think I'm King of Thieves just to see things that are.

I'm not familiar with it, but I'd like to see it. Yeah, I wanted to watch it. I don't think it was on any of the streaming services I have, but, or maybe I could rent it. Anyway, but I didn't watch it because I don't want to watch it beforehand and then be like, and then this happened, but it's got nothing to do with it. Oh, yeah. And then Michael Gambon walked in. Yeah, exactly.

Dumbledore's in it. Oh. Anyway. The dead Dumbledore or the live Dumbledore? alive, Dumbleda. That makes sense. Yeah, this is not what I was thinking. Joe Pesci is nowhere near it.

I wonder what you were thinking. So we've got John Collins. From a great article from Vanley Fair, this is how he describes John Collins. He was a classic London villain, a dodgy but elegant figure in the streets of London with his beloved staffy, Dempsey, nipping at his heels.

His legitimate business was high-volume fireworks importation. That's great cover. It's almost weapons to Jason. In fact, he was a walking porn shop. He'd buy cars, expensive watches, and sell it back to you later, said a friend. Diabetes had exiled him into semi-retirement, and he was reportedly growing deffer and more forgetful by the day, which is only worth adding because it's, again, just adds to this image of just these old men robbing a bank. That's fine.

Something kind of fun and cute about it. Just to stop the people yelling at their iPods, the one I was talking about was going in style. Yeah. 2017 American Heist drama comedy film with Michael Kane and Morgan Freeman. So, and I'm pretty sure King of Thieves was like 2018 or something. Right. So Michael Kane just backing him up. Yeah.

Heisting it up. Heisting it up. So that was John Collins. His nephew, William Lincoln, was the getaway driver who was said to have had a major role in the movement of the goods after the heist. He conveniently left the country two days after the heist and told the judge at the trial that he thought the bags his uncle had given him. were just bric-a-brac. Oh, I didn't know it had gold and jewels in, and I thought he was just giving me little knick-knacks,

bric-a-brac, you know, uncles, am I right? Yeah, they love junk. They love junk, elderly uncles. They love giving it to you to take on holiday episodes. We also had Danny Jones, 58, described by friends as a gentleman who liked a laugh and a joke, who had burglary convictions going back to 1975. One friend said he was eccentric to the extreme,

and a bit of a Walter Mitty obsessed with palm reading and known to sleep in his mum's dressing gown and a fez. Fez is not a good sleep. You have to sit up, right? He's sleeping in an armchair. Of all the hats, that doesn't have a nice tight fit. What's the best sleep hat? Or probably a sleep hat.

Yeah, one of them, you know, like... Yeah, like a Santa hat. You didn't have cap and snooze or... Hebris screws top. What is the point of those? Just to keep your ears warm or something? Yeah, I was wondering about that recently Because I saw a movie where it was a recent movie in the guy, and it was wearing like one of the Ebenezer Scrooge-style nighty sleep.

I'm like, when did they go out of fashion? They're fantastic. Do you want what? But the hats, I guess it's to... Keep your head warm. I feel like my head to get too hot. Yeah, I can't sleep in anything. It's too hot.

But we don't live in really cold climate. But when you're in an old Scrooge and you don't want to keep the fire burning, you've got a cold house. Got you got to keep your head warm. You can't sleep in anything. Oh, no, in a bed. I can't. I can sleep in anything, I should say. But I just get to, I sleep, I run hot.

Yeah. But apparently, is this true that men run hotter than women? Do you found that? I am the hot one. Okay. So that's... Oh, that's not true. Aiden will sleep in like,

track suit pants and a jumper and have the blankets right up around him. But to touch, he is scorching hot. Oh, he just likes. He likes it. Whereas I'm like, it's slightly warm. Get this blanket off me. Yeah. Someone told me recently it was a man or woman.

Well, it doesn't sound like a Jess. Well, no, but he does run hot, but he seems to like it. But yeah, I think I think that's true. I believe so. But, you know. But this guy's wearing a dressing gown. I'm one of the boys. Yeah.

I run hot like the boys. Dressing gown and a fez. Incredible combo. He does sound, his mum's dressing gown. What does that mean? I reckon she's probably dead. Okay, so he's just trying to stay close to his dead mom. Was it his dad's fes?

Yeah. Just remembering his parents at bedtime. Sleeping in his uncle. Uncle's bed. Another co-conspirator was Carl Ward, also 58. He was involved in the planning. He isn't really one of our main characters, but he'll come up again. Do they call him the young guy?

Because he's only 58. All right, young man. Yeah, spring chicken, junior. And then there was another man known only as Basil. A mystery man to police, theories were thrown around about him being a current or former police officer or potentially an insider of the building. But we don't have her Basil is. Maybe a future police officer.

Whoa. A current or past or future or never policemen. That's covering all bases. Four states of being. You are either currently a police officer, formerly a police officer, in the future of police officer or never. Yeah. The heist.

The men had begun looking at the Hatton Garden area in mid-February. They finalised the plot in the weeks leading up to the raid, often on a Friday night at the Castle Pub in Eilington, North London. So they're really keeping it on the download then. They would just meet at the park. All right, who's robbing this pub then, eh? This pub? I'm in bank. Do I know.

All right, lads. Let's all get a table. We'll talk through our plans of robbing a bank. You know, it's really announcing it. It sounds like it's addictive. Yeah. Like they've all, none of them can stay out of it. Well, it's, and it's that classic.

The same of those plots of all. of these movies, it's that classic like one last job kind of thing. And it's like most of them have faced jail time for other crimes. You'd think you'd be like, no, I think I'm done. But they're like, one last job, imagine. Yeah. I guess you think you're 74, you either spend the last, you know, five, ten years of your life living in luxury or living in jail. Yeah. Take the risk. Oh, I don't know if it's worth the risk. I don't think so either. Because you also don't know if you only have like a couple of years left or you could have like 20. Right, but if you go see the guy with a dressing gun and fares, he reads your palm.

He tells, that's why he's there. Oh, he's the Walter Middy type, is he? Yeah. I wouldn't have known what that meant until you said, he liked reading palms and stuff. Now I'm like, oh, if I ever hear Walter Middy again, I'll be like, oh yeah, the palm reader. Bit of a cook, hey? Yeah. Bit of a daydreamer.

Right. In their research and planning, several of them visited the building numerous times. They're like, what's it called? they're casing the joints Thank you I was looking In my head I'm looking through the S words Oh yes the state out's absolutely right

By March 12 Collins had been to Hutton Garden at least five times It's believed the men may have posed as customers Wanting a safety deposit box in the vault In order to get an idea of the layout and security of the vault Hello We'd like to look at a vault to put our diamonds in That's what I would have done Yeah

Higher pitch voice Hello. That's how the posh. Posh people stand. And what time do you lock the vault? Do you always lock or do you sometimes forget? And if you did forget, could you tell me? Could I have that key, please?

No reason. If you forget, could you tell me? Thank you. Could you let me know? And what's your middle name? I don't know. It definitely has like that. I did, I don't know if I said this seriously, but I heard, and this may not be true, but the word posh, sometimes, you know, they'll do these, make up a story later for its origin.

But someone was saying that it comes from when the best rooms on a ship in the olden days were the side they got more sun. And it was from America to England or something. And that would be port side outbound. Starboard Home And that's where supposedly But that sounds like

That could be bullshit But I'm not sure I've heard that Yeah, I've heard that too But I don't know But I don't know if it's true Yeah But who have you been hanging out with lately

You've heard that men run hot You've heard about pot Who have you been hanging out I was trying to think Who have you have other friends The men run hot guy Was saying that I'm like why is that

I can't remember what it was But he was saying that He thinks it's because nerve endings Are different in men and women Or something I'm like That sounds scientific

enough for me. Nerve endings. It's about nerve endings. Okay. It sounds like a 3 a.m. conversation. Yeah, this could have been at the pub when I was talking about this new high school. Oh my God, I've said to touch.

I don't, yeah, I don't know why. Nerve endings. Yeah. I'm not sure. I don't know the answer. Well, you've flipped it all on its head. But I've agreed with you that the man is hot, but he doesn't seem to care. He is a hot man.

He's a hot man. My God, he's a hot man. Honestly. It's not like you are uncomfortable, you are so hot to touch. Right. What are you doing? I like it. Okay, well, whatever.

It's just self-sornering. Yeah. Sorry, they've staked it out. They're casing the giant. Been five times, which seems like the bare minimum to me. You've got to go in there a few times, I reckon. They've been around a lot. Got to show your face.

That's just Collins, too. That's just one of them's been there five times. The others have been around a bunch too. We're wearing different mustaches? Of course. This is from The Guardian. By 31st of March, the gang was. so brazen that they were not just wandering in and out of the eight-story building, but playing

with the lift. Perkins was spotted in a small elevator in the building, wearing blue overalls and surrounded by tools and building equipment. So he's like figuring out the lift, how to disable it or whatever. I press number two and it takes me the second floor. Okay. Those are the same way to every single level? Making a note in a journal.

Only one way to find out. All right, lads, here's the thing. Try to keep up. So, you go in this magic box, yeah? They got three of the things. All of them do the same thing. You press a number and bobsidy boopsity boob. You're on that level.

No one knows how it works. Could be teleportation. Is there a way we could teleport in there from the pub? How comfortable are we all using dark arts? Guessing that was the Dumbledore actor was playing that role. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know how much of the film, but I'll let you know.

He's a wizard who teaches Harry Potter. Yeah. Oh, you hadn't, sorry. I hadn't seen that film. Dumbledore? A lot of this timeline that I've got for you next is based on a really great article in The Guardian written by Vikram Dodd in 2016.

So April 2nd, 825pm, John Collins parks a white van outside the building at 88 to 90 Hatt and Garden. Basil, wearing a red wig, opened the door of the building. I wasn't even wig. I thought it was going to be like jacket or something and then it was like...

Dave, there's nothing funny about red hair, mate. He's just laughing at the idea of someone... Imagine. Matt, he looked at me like, the fuck? Imagine choosing that. I thought it was going to be a red hat, red jacket, red, for some reason, red beret even came into my head. These people are red fess, so it would be appropriate. Red wig, okay.

He was dressed up as Ronald McDonald. He opened the door of the building, having gained codes for the door and a key. Can I borrow that? Can I have that? Having gotten to the building, Basil waited until a man in a neighboring business had left, then, with a black bin bag slung over his shoulder, opened a fire escape door to the building. So he's inside, he's opened another door to let the others in.

Brian Reader, Terry Perkins, Daniel Jones and Carl Wood entered the building unloading bags and tools along with two empty wheelie bins. They were wearing high viz to look like workmen doing some kind of maintenance. Brian Reader was also wearing stripy socks and a distinctive scarf, which feels like a bit of a silly move. Don't wear anything really distinctive and recognisable when doing a crime. Strippy socks and a scarf.

Yeah. You might get chilly. Yeah, you never know. And maybe is he maybe framing someone up. Like he's wearing, you know, someone around town is always wearing that scarf. Oh, Tom Baker. Tom Baker. He's wearing the Tom Baker scarf.

He just forgot that Tom Baker doesn't have red hair, unfortunately. It's a different one. It's a different one. Oh, different one. It's okay. Oh, yeah, he's dressed as Ronald, framing Ronald. And the other guy that's dressed as Tom Baker, framing Tom Baker. Meanwhile, John Collins had obtained keys to a building across the road and was acting as a lookout for the highest.

Apparently, though, according to some of the others, he, just fell asleep. But he was the lookout in a building across the street. They were communicating only with walkie-talkies so that their mobile phones wouldn't place them at the scene of the crime later. Imagine being able to sleep in that scenario. Yeah, just have a kip. I'm just nodding off here. They're old. They sleep anyway. You put him in a comfy chair and they're out, you know? No, no, grandpa. Yeah, one of them can sleep in dressing guns in a fence. You are a few years off being able to just sleep anywhere. Yeah. Just nodding off. So, you know, you laugh, but...

There he goes. No, no, grandpa. Imagine falling asleep whilst recording a podcast. That would be so funny. Maybe a bit brutal. I think the only good scenario is falling asleep during your own because otherwise it's such a slap at the face to the other two, you know? Yeah.

I'd be like, what the fuck? I've worked on this. It took ages. So they got their walkie-talkies and they're chatting through those and they move swiftly into action. The vaults were deep underground and the gang were on, I think they're on the second floor.

So one of the lifts was jammed. Oh no, they didn't know how to use it. No, they jammed it. Oh, okay. One of them said, what's this emergency stop do? Oh, God damn it. Do we have to do the diagram again? Only press the numbers.

And if you're feeling generous, you hit the open button to keep it open for other people. They jammed the lift on the second floor and then went like down the stairs or in a different lift down to the ground floor, which meant that the lift shaft was open. So that allowed them to use the lift shaft to descend down to the basement level

where the safe deposit vault was. Genius. Basil disabled the alarm only partially, but enough so that he could cut the power to iron gates safeguarding the lobby to the entrance of the vault. So these could now be pulled open and machinery brought through by the gang.

The gang cut through a second iron gate and now faced a thick, reinforced concrete wall. This is from Vanity Fair as well. Now at last, Danny Jones was able to apply what he'd spent so many nights studying on YouTube. Oh, that is so... It's like I've been watching James Bond movies in nine segments. I've got this.

I'm going to do this. Anchoring the hilty drill to the floor and concrete wall and connecting it to a water hose for cooling and reducing the amount of dust, they began boring through the concrete. This is the YouTube video, How to Bore into a bank vault? Yeah, pretty much. The drill made only a quiet, water splattering hum as it breached the concrete wall.

Within two and a half hours, three overlapping circular holes had been cut through the concrete. It took them two and a half hours. The hole was about 50 centimetres deep, 25 centimetres high and 45 centimetres wide. So it's pretty small. Yeah, okay. Why's the depth and the height different?

I think... Well, because it's how thick the wall is. Oh, it's a, yeah, I'm picturing it drilling down. Drilling into a wall. It's doing straight across. I'm like, wait, the depth? How does the hole go up? Do you know what depth is?

A vision. 50 centimetres into the concrete floor. And then I'm like, the hole also goes up. What, into the, they're drilled through the air. Matt's living in a two-dimensional world. And it sounds pretty small, but it's like, I've seen a picture and it's three overlapping hole. So they must have like gone through once and then moved it across, gone through again. Right. So it's still, it's a tight squeeze. And so two of the men, police believe it was Basil and

Danny Jones, managed to crawl through the tiny hole and into the vault. This is why you've got to have some small team members. That's right. Ocean's 11 proved that. Oh yeah, the guy that does all the flips, the acrobatist stuff. There will genuinely be a reference to that exact character. Great. All coming up. My God. Our house when I was a kid got robbed My disc when was stolen I still haven't gotten over it

But I am I insurance Did you have a CD in it? I did yeah I lost all my friends are on CDs Oh they had good taste then Yeah My Anima of the State

CD Great taste Some of my Pantera albums Yeah brutal Drupstating Dick sandwich was gone And you can't That is now

You know you can't get it anymore Oh my God Collectors item But the window that they smashed to get in, the hole was so small. Like, who's done this? And my theory was that they had a small helper monkey. So they smashed the window and then they'd send in this trained monkey.

Yeah. To go and who's got, you know, is into pop punk and groove metal. And it couldn't have been that they could put a hand through and open the window that way? No, no, it wasn't that kind of window. Wow. It wasn't an openable window. Yeah. And it was way away from a door or anything.

So it was like, it was really just. And shards of glass surrounding it. Yeah, shit. I mean, in a way, good on them. Yeah, exactly. Hats off to them. Sounds impressive. I did, I got a better CD player and better disc men.

Oh, great. Yeah, it had like, you know, shockproof or whatever and extra base. It didn't jump. It didn't jump. It's probably sucked. You'd move and it would get, like, sorry. There's going to be so confusing to some kids out there. To youths.

Yeah. Ceds were a way to play. music back in the old days. Back in the day, we used to have helper monkeys for our robberies. We now know that's cruel. So having somehow squeezed through the tiny hole they'd cut into the wall, they're basically at the back of the metal cabinets that house the safe deposit boxes. The cabinets were bolted to the floor and to the ceiling, making them incredibly sturdy.

They had a jack with them, which they'd used to pry open the steel doors to the lift, and it had a 10-ton hydraulic ram. Don't ask me what any of this means. I don't understand it. Oh, I need to ask you. I know exactly what it was. Yeah, me too. I watched the YouTube video.

Yeah. Their plan was to use the RAM to push over the safety deposit boxes. Jack was the name of a RAM. I get it. That's right. So you go to Jack and Ram. Yep. Unfortunately for the gang,

while attempting to push over the cabinets, the Jack broke. The rest of the plan had gone quite... You've never jacked too hard. No. That is honestly a lesson. See, we don't realize that, but you can... You can jump too hard. And you actually can ram too hard as well.

Yeah, yeah. And that's even worse. Yeah, you can snap that thing right now. You got to be careful when you're jacking and ramming. You'll warm up. The rest of the plan had gone fairly smoothly And this was the first hurdle that it occurred But that was all it took for Brian Reader

The leader of the gang to bail What? The leader I'm out Fuck this He'd been like casing this joint for so long And yeah It was sort of like the alleged leader of this group

And he's just like Fuck the jack's broken I'm out And so he leaves He's gone Okay He just walked home I think you know

Sometimes you should cut your losses Yeah The rest of the gang tried to work out other ways to get into the safe deposit box, but eventually also left just after 8 a.m. Almost 12 hours after they'd arrived the night before. But remember, it's the Easter long weekend. Oh, they've got, they can go home and watch more YouTube videos. No one's back to work for another few days.

They have time to have another crack. So they could probably check out the Good Friday Appeal. Yeah, make a donation. Yeah. Andrew Dato, if you do 10 push-ups, we'll make it $50. Also, some young people are confused by that. I think that would be old people confused about that. So they've got time to have another crack and that's exactly what they do.

So on the Saturday the 4th of April, Danny Jones goes to a store called Machine Mart. And he buys a new pump and uses his own surname and address for the purchase. Otherwise you're not going to get the warranty. Yeah. He was quite clever though. He did use a different first initial, V, which was his partner's first initial. Great. So that night, around 10pm, the gang goes back to Hatt & Garden.

And did the leader come back, or is he just bailed? He's like... He's gone. He's gone. He's out. Wow, okay, right? But everyone else has gone back? Yeah.

This time... To see if he gets done for it. This time it's Danny Jones, Terry Perkins, Carl Wood, John Collins and Basil. Apparently, at some point, early in the evening, Carl Wood also decides to bail. He follows in Brian Reader's footsteps. He leaves. Brian Reader the leader. I'm sorry I didn't catch that before.

Yeah, that's a good one. And I love that Basil's still involved because you said before that. he's still mysterious. The cops aren't sure he is. The mysterious Basil. So the four remaining men break back into the building and found everything just as they left at a couple of nights prior. The second night the gang used the Jack as a ram to smash the metal cabinets over. And finally, they were in. They were then able to pry open about 73 of the 550 safe deposit boxes taken everything they could. I think originally the plan

was that they would have several nights, you know, like they'd be able to do this across several and get everything but because of you know the issues they had they're just like let's just get what we can they still get open 73 of them the hall included jewelry gold bullion cash emerald sapphires diamonds luxury wristwatches and rings okay well to summarize what would you call it bricabra brick a bricker bricker brick a bootie yeah they needed wheelie bins to stash the loot and took an hour to move their hall and equipment out by 6.44 a.m. on Sunday they'd left the scene Straight to church. Straight to church for the 7 a.m. service.

That's the one you want to be at. You're up in the back with a wheelie bin full of gold. We're not going to leave it in the car, am I? Imagine. And they've timed that perfectly because they can convert that into discounted Easter eggs. Perfect. Monday morning. Monday morning.

They're all marked down. Oh my God, half price. If they're on the floor, they're out the door. Yeah, exactly. You've got three times the buying power. Four times, some cases. That's the best. And that's what this is all about.

Cheap Easter eggs. Which brings us to where we started. on Tuesday after a long weekend. Staff coming back to work and noticing that they've been burgled. Police were obviously immediately called and arrived at the scene to find dust, debris and scattered safety deposit boxes. Power tools including an angle grinder, the hilty drill and crow bars had been left behind, but the crooks had been smart enough to wipe the tools down as to leave no fingerprints.

You've got to clean up after you. Yeah, clean as you go. Port and rule. This and other evidence, or lack thereof, led police to think they were probably dealing with experienced criminals. Police believed the crooks had purposely used by. bathrooms on different floors to the one that they were working on, again, as to not leave behind any, like, very clear evidence.

Oh, D-N-A. So if you're going to go, you have to go upstairs. I mean, they're there for like 12-ish hours, you know, you're going to have to go. Elder gentlemen. Yeah. So they're probably going to go a bit. But that probably also means they're wearing nappies. Oh, that's true.

I mean, if they were smart, they would be. They're incontinence. Incontinent. But they're like, big boy. They're cool man, cool man undies. But, yeah, like, that would be smart to do that. Husey did that once. He had to do that for a gig one time.

What do you mean? Husey, the comedian. Yeah, he wore an incontinence pants, I believe, because I'm sure I made him tell that story. Marathon. I think he was, you know, he just loves to gig. And I think he had a, like, he was crook, but he did it anyway. And he's like, just in case I'm wearing incontinence pads. In case he shat himself?

Yeah. Hope I'm not making that up. And like, okay, great, good, good thinking. But also, if you're always. If you're so unwell But you're not going to be able to control shitting yourself Is it not also going to be quite obvious to the audience When you're standing on stage grimacing?

Oh, it's happening! Anyway, so I was at home with the family. How do you just keep talking normally through that? You don't. Your voice changes and people know you're shitting yourself. Well, you just got to time it in a laugh or a pause break. as you stop for a drink of water it just...

Yeah, you really hope the laugh keeps carrying if it's not as funny as you think it is. Oh. They're going to hear it. That's horrendous. Don't do the gig. Anyway, no, good on you. So, annoyingly for the police,

there was very quickly quite a lot of pressure on them to solve the case and to do it quickly. Annoingly. Well, the reason for this is that when Basil had partially disabled the alarms, the alarm had sent a warning to police who had ignored the warning. So they almost, like, they almost could, have caught them, but they, they were like, ah, it's nothing.

So the robbery was also catching a lot of media attention and caught the imagination of the public. When video footage was released, newspapers nicknamed the criminals Mr. Ginger, Mr. Strong, Mr. Montana, the gent, the tall man and the old man. Brutal to be the old man when they're all old. They're all old, come on. Like, what I look at that much older than them? The gent would be great.

The gent's a great one. Okay, what would you like, you'll obviously have Mr. Ginger. Okay. I'm Mr. Strong. Yeah. I'm not tall man. Mr. Montana, the gent or the old man. Well, I think I'd like to be the gent.

Yeah, he could probably be the gent. No, Matt, you could be the gent. Oh, thank you. Okay, Matt's the gent. So then you've got Mr. Ginger, Mr. Strong, Mr. Montana. No, I'm Mr. Strong. I'm probably Mr. Montana then. Yeah.

What does that mean? Exactly. Is Montana like the American state? Yeah. That's where Yellowstone is set. But is he wearing like a big hat? Yeah, is he like a cowboy or something? I don't know where that comes from.

He might have been the one carrying the gun. Yeah. and they're like, ooh, they didn't have a gun. It was one of those crimes that people kind of rooted for. Like, no one was physically hurt, and it was a safe deposit place that was burgled, meaning the people who were robbed were also the mega wealthy. And it's also one of the rare ones where there's not even,

they're not even take, like, traumatizing any stuff. Yeah, you're right. Nobody was there. So. Yeah, out of all the crimes, I'm written for these old men. Exactly. From a different article written for The Guardian, this one's by Duncan Campbell.

Imagineative theories were rife, as were movie references. A spectacular project crime planned in detail is much like a film script with roughly the same chance of coming off. The headline of the Sunday Express on the 12th of April read police hunt Pink Panthers over dual heist. The story suggested that the gem thieves may be part of the infamous Balkans-based Pink Panther Gang.

By the 23rd of April, Ocean's 11 was part of the equation. The Daily Express asked, did Gem gang use a contortionist? Speculating that there must have been someone similar to the amazing yen. That's awesome. The Daily Mirror reported that an expert had revealed how Mr Big is likely to have hired elite thieves from Eastern Europe and Israel to pull off the operation. The BBC broadcast a documentary that included an interview with media gangster Dave Courtney, who suggested that the stolen jewels might have already been smuggled out of the country stuffed up a racehorse's ass. Okay.

Are we trusting this media gangster? I do. That's, what a funny stab in the dark that is. And also, it would be broadcast on. the BBC. Yeah. That's so fun. I like how some people were like the cultural cringe there so much that they're like,

well, none of us could have pulled this off. Yeah, it must have been. Must have been someone from somewhere else. Exactly. English people certainly aren't able to pull off such a great height. And well, we would never. So the police are pretty keen to nab the guilty criminals quickly, clean up the mess, save a bit of embarrassment.

And, uh, because it's, yeah, it's caught the public's imagination. Like I mentioned earlier, these criminals were old school. And technology and security systems had improved quite a lot since the crooks had started out in their criminal careers, which means that police had a lot more resources to lean on to crack this case. They combed through CCTV footage from neighbouring buildings and around the area of the crime. They saw CCTV footage show the van pull up out the front of the burgled building, the van that they arrived in, and that's when they were able to spot a white Mercedes parked out the front of the building half an hour before. This car belonged to John Collins,

the one who'd been a lookout in the building across the street and who'd driven his own car to the crime scene. And then falling asleep. Oh boy. A quick search of the system told police that that car parked out the front of the crime scene belonged to Collins, the man with 50 plus year criminal record. It's a coincidence. They're like, well, maybe it's worth looking into. So they bugged his car to see if he had anything to do with the crime

or if this was just a strange coincidence. Very quickly, the bug revealed it was no coincidence. Police were able to overhear conversations between the criminals, basically admitting to the crimes. And this helped lead to the rest of the gang. So then they're placing bugs in a few different cars and just like, you know, they're just incriminating themselves and each other by talking about it. Are they all just on the car phone?

Yeah, because they can't track that. And they've, there's like excerpts of some of the stuff they've said. It's like, the biggest robbery in the fucking world we was on. They chuckle, as they discuss how to dispose of the goods. The biggest Tom robbery in the fucking history of the world. Tom is jewelry. Much of their conversation is taken up with chastising reader and wood for with drawing from the burglary at the last minute.

Both as bad as a fucking other. Bottle out at the last minute. Supposed to be a full-on face and this one you walk away from. So they're just incriminating themselves and others. One of the most hilariously ironic parts of their conversation that was captured was when police sirens can be heard in the background. And one of them remarks to the other that he paid 900 quid for a gadget that you fit to the car that will let you know when police were within half a mile.

And he's bragging about this gadget while police are listening to their conversation. Like, they knew not to take their mobile phones with them to the crime scene, but then they still use their mobiles afterwards and talk to each other in the car, and, you know, and it's like, oh, nah, there's other ways that you could be under surveillance. It sounds like the big, the big mistake was just that, uh, what's his name, drove his own car to the scene. Yeah, well, that's, yeah.

That's how they got on it. And maybe they would have anyway, but that was certainly a good, a nice, easy start for them. I love this part from Duncan Campbell and the Guardian. There's been much recent talk about whether the police should be required to have degrees. The same might be suggested for professional criminals who would be taught that, apart from watching what they say in potentially bugged cars and abandoning their mobile phones on a daily basis. They should also be careful what they search for online. After Jones was arrested, his computer indicated that he had been looking at drilling online

and drill tech sites as far back as April 2012. And he had a book, Forensics for Dummies. That's the same book that the Hollywood Bandit had. Oh, yes. He had one of the... Guys, come on. Well, the book promised that now everyone can get the lowdown on the signs behind crime scene investigation. So he'd be looking up the drill and he had forensics for dummies.

And he had a box out of CSI, Miami. It was all pointing one way. I mean, get the book, read the book, sure. But don't keep the book after the crime. Yeah. But yeah. And also get a VPN. Yeah.

Or wipe your search history. Does that do it? Yeah, but they're all... That does it, right? But they're all old. They don't know that stuff. Get your nephew to do it. He doesn't realize he's actually tweeting all these things.

He's not Googling them. How to drill in bank vault? Send. I mean search. Thank you, Google. The gang didn't fall for the temptation to spend their loot quickly. In fact, they didn't show off their newfound wealth at all and avoided changes in lifestyle that would attract suspicion.

And they plan to sort of let the publicity die down a little bit. Great, so that's, because that's old school. That's what you would have done in the past. Yeah. Like, they get the old stuff, but not the new stuff. It's amazing that they've had time to even do that, seeing as they've given themselves up. Yeah. Well, there's a really...

Cops are still waiting for more evidence, or... Yeah, and there's a great chunk here from Vanity Fair, which sort of goes into, like, the lengths that the police went to. So the thieves were trailed by detectives, observed by lip readers, bugged for many days and nights in their cars, and videotaped in their... favorite bars, and the Flying Squad was astounded by what they heard. The Flying Squad's the branch of the police. Three of the thieves, Perkins Jones and Collins, were recorded bragging about how they did the heist, what they stole, how they were going to dispose of the goods. The biggest robbery in the fucking world we was on, which is what I just said, said Terry Perkins in just one of many endlessly incriminating statements. Brian Reader was snared by the surveillance

detectives in one evening in May, a month after the heist, when the flying squad dispatched an operative with a hidden video camera to the castle pub where Reader sat. It was it in a hat, please. I don't know where it was. Where Reader sat drinking with Perkins and Collins. In the middle of the pub, Perkins pantomimed for Rita the moment that Danny Jones and his 10-ton hydraulic pump knocked over the massive wall of safe deposit boxes to allow them entry into the vault.

Boom, Perkins exclaimed, according to a lip reader, who deciphered the conversation? Now look, as somebody with just, you know, a tiny bit of. of lip reading experience, boom's a fairly clear one. Yeah. Especially with the accompanying gestures. I think we didn't necessarily need the lip reader on the case for that one.

It feels like they're going to be found out eventually. Yeah. They're just being a little bit careless in the aftermath. A little bit. Even though they're not spending... They're cocky. Yeah, they're cocky with telling the tale. Yeah, they think they got away with it

and they're forgetting that they're in public places as they're having these conversations. This is still from the Vanity Fair article. According to Johnson, Jamie Day spent hours and hours transcribing recordings and unraveling the East London dialect and slang. A lawyer at the trial compared the work of deciphering their conversations to the work done by Shakespearean scholars. So funny. Damning as these recordings were, it still wasn't enough to arrest. Really?

Yeah, so this is from one of the police. It's obviously good, said Paul Johnson, but you have to say to yourself, what would happen if we lost this evidence. We've still got to have a case without it. You've still got to work your way through everything else and make sure you've got enough to corroborate what they're saying. If you don't, they would have the option of saying that we're just a bunch of elderly fantasists

who are talking a lot of old nonsense in the car. So we've got to prove that that's not the case. They had to catch them with the goods. Right. That's not enough for a warranty to... Warrantty? A warrant? Oh, that's my nickname for warrants.

A warranty, a warrantish. Or a full warrant? No. So on 19th of May, six weeks after the highest, it was decided the gang would gather all the loot. They'd sort of split it up and hidden it in various places so that if one person was caught, the entire hall wasn't lost. But they decided, you know, it's probably been enough time.

Some of these publicities died down a little bit. So they make plans to meet at an address in Enfield. Potentially this was for the slaughter, which is what you call it when you're divvying up the loot. This was the point where police chiefs decided to pounce. with the suspects and their hall all in one place. 200 officers staged raids and the gang were arrested. 200.

200. Well, I suppose there's quite a few of them. In total, there's like nine or ten people here. There's a few others that are kind of co-conspirators and stuff like that. So it's a lot of people. Maybe they're like, we need to really outnumber of these old men. Plus they don't carry guns, English cops. So, you know.

He's got to wag their finger at them. So you got like... None at all? Yeah. And I think certain crews have... them. But I think your beat cops. But I think your average cops don't. If I remember the bill correctly, they'd call in S-O-19. Right, they're the ones who are allowed to have... With the guns. Guns. Our cops have guns. Yeah. They give guns or any cop here. Yeah. First day of

the job. First day of the academy. Here's your gun. Don't lose it. Any questions? No, we don't have time for questions. The trial was long. I won't go into the really tedious details. On the 9th of March 2016 at Woolwich Crown Court, three members of the gang, John Collins, Daniel Jones and Terry Perkins, having pled guilty to conspiracy to commit burglary, were each given a seven-year prison term. Carl Wood and William Lincoln were found guilty of the same offence and also one count of conspiracy to conceal, convert or transfer criminal property. Lincoln was also given a seven-year sentence and Wood was sentenced to six years. The alleged ringleader, Brian Reader, who gave up the first hurdle, was sentenced to six

years and three months. Still got him. And there was also another man, Hugh Doyle. And according to Wikipedia, Doyle was found guilty of concealing, converting, or transferring criminal property. He was jailed for 21 months, suspended for two years. And he was also fined £367 for his general criminal conduct in January 2018. I just liked the idea of a fine for just general criminal conduct. Miscellaneous. Okay, you've just been a bit naughty. Yeah, okay. All right.

367 pounds, thank you. How about the leader getting no discount for bailing? You'd think he'd be like, I didn't actually do it. And he got some of the, they still split the money with him. Really? He got some. Pretty sure. Okay.

Fair enough. But what about Basil? Basil, the mysterious. A mystery man. If he's a mystery man, you've got to think that maybe they never got him. Well, Basil's identity was. a mystery for a little while. Oh!

I just had a sip at the wrong time. I don't know if the mic... Spit up that spit up that spit take. Picked up that... Dip do. Mystery for a while. For a while. For a while.

Several articles written at the time talk about the mystery man, yet to be discovered. But apparently police identified Basil by the end of November 2015, as in it's a similar kind of thing where you were just saying before, like what if they...

But that feels like they have enough evidence. They're pretty sure it's him, but they didn't have enough evidence. So he ends up sort of outloose for a lot longer than the others. And the others obviously didn't rat on him. But by the end of November 2015, around seven months after the crime occurred, they were pretty sure they knew who Basil was. And Basil was, in fact, 55-year-old Michael Seed. Police had captured footage of John Collins meeting up with Seed in the weeks following the crime,

but had no idea yet that he was involved. From the Daily Mail, Seed was uncovered as Basil from his walk. After an expert podiatrist concluded that footage of the mystery criminals showed he had a particular habitual gait, an abnormality in his right leg. Dr Gordon Burrough said, Cesar said, Seed walked a bit like Charlie Chaplin. He had an abduction of 19 degrees in both feet,

which meant they turned outwards at a wider angle than normal. And in 1994, Seed had metal pins inserted in his femur after a motorcycle accident, left his right leg shattered. So his walk was a bit of a giveaway for. him. Right. They've helped them identify. That's disappointing because I've got quite a specific gate.

Yeah. Quite bouncy. Meaning to say that. I think that I'd probably give the game away. Sorry about that. I'll have to skateboard in. Anyway. Can you skateboard?

I could 20 years ago. Okay. Yeah, you can watch a YouTube video. Yeah, exactly. How to skateboard. That's what gives me away. So, Seed was arrested in March of 2018, almost three years after the crime had occurred.

And apparently in that time, he'd, like, traveled overseas. and the police were kind of monitoring him the whole time, but they didn't have enough, so they were just, they let him go and just kind of kept watching him for a while until they had enough. You think you'd probably move overseas, wouldn't you? All your mates have been arrested. Yeah, just go. Go to Spain.

So it wasn't until March 2019 that Michael Seed was found guilty of burglary and conspiracy to burgle and was sentenced to 10 years in prison. Whoa. If you get more for staying loose, it was 10 years for burglary and 8 for conspiracy to burgle. the two running concurrently. I mean, the best way to cop one a sentence is concurrent, right? Sort of like, so I got a free hit at one of these crafts?

Yeah, I guess so. But what about the money? What about, what was the word they used for jewels? Tom. Brick of Brick a Brack. Yeah, Tom. What about the Tom? Well, of the hall, and remember estimates were anywhere from 14 to 30 to 300 million,

4 million pounds worth has been recovered. Four million. And although estimates say it's worth around 14 million, it could be a lot more. So a lot of that money's gone. Sick. Well, I guess, you know, Basil probably spent a fair bit of it over those three years. In January 2018, a confiscation ruling at Woolwich Crown Court ruled that John Collins, Daniel Jones, Terry Perkins and Brian Reader must pay a total of 27.5 million or face another

the seven years in prison. Whoa. So essentially pay it back. Or more time, more jail time. Right. No, I don't like that. I don't like that as a rule. I think if you are good at hiding stuff as a criminal,

all the better, you know, good luck. Would you say that to the person who stole your discman? Yeah, because insurance got me a better one. Yeah. If I return it, would I have to return my one with anti-shock resistance? He's still using it. Your technology would have gone backwards. Yeah, okay.

Once you've had anti-shock, you can't go back. That makes you think. Have you heard, Gary Goldman's got this great bit about Discman's. Look it up, do yourself further. I won't butcher it here now. Just a little tease there. So, yeah, they're ordered to pay back. $25 million.

$27 million. They just start like a Kickstarter or something? What do you do? You can't make that kind of money? Well, they're assuming, like, if they've only recovered $4 million, these guys all have the money somehow in assets or... How much longer will they do in, in... time?

Seven more years? I'm like, how much money could you, is your time worth? To me, seven years for 27 million, I'll take time in jail. I'd go to jail for seven years to get 27 million bucks. What would you do if you were in your late 70s? That's in total, not each. Okay. Yeah, that's true.

The clock's ticking. Yeah, they're all old. Well, Perkins actually passed away in prison in February 2018, just a week after this ruling. That'll show them. I think he'd been unwell. In August of 2018, Daniel Jones had his sentence extended by six years and 287 days

for failing to return 6.6 million. On the 1st of August 2019, Collins was sentenced to an additional 2,309 days for failing to comply. So basically none of them paid back any of the money. I don't know if I like that they use days there. I know, that's sort of like, you know, how they talk about babies ages.

Yeah, in weeks. Yeah, it's like, come on. Yeah. Let's do it in years. Yeah. It's very confusing. Days? He's 32 months.

Fuck off. Well, they're going to start doing it in minutes now? At the point where they can tell you their own age, let's stop with months. I'm 46 months. You know? So what does that mean? Are you at school? I don't know.

Who are you? Who are you? If you can tell me your name and age, let's ditch the month. Aunty, Jess. You don't remember me? I'm Gregory. Shut up, Gregory. Get Aunty Jess a sherry.

Michael Seed was also ordered to pay back his share, and it was estimated that he'd pocketed around $4.7 million. He paid back $50K, and even after the amount to payback was dropped to $600,000, £600,000 from $4.7 million. They were like, all right, just give a $600. I like, they're bartering. He still didn't cover up the money.

So last year in 2022, he had an additional six years added to his sentence. Wow. So the ones that are alive, still in prison. The theft was described, like Dave said at the start, as the largest burglary in English history. And it's inspired numerous representations in film and TV. It's a subject of three films, Hatt and Garden, The Heist in 2016, the Hat and Garden Job in 2017. And King of Thieves starring Michael Kane, Jim Broadbent, Michael Gambon. It looks like a lot of fun. That was in 2018. Wow, 16, 17, 18. Ridic- Yeah, how do you sustain an audience for one story? Yeah, true. And this is

like in the couple of years after it or it's still an active, and especially for those earlier ones, Basil hadn't been caught. Yeah. Oh, interesting. A little silver lining, though. I mean, that's the end of the story, but just a little silver lining. Some jewelers have claimed that the highest actually helped their business due to increased publicity of the area. Oh, that's great news. I think that's nice, isn't it? God the jewelers got a break there. Yeah. So they saw an increase in money. So that's nice. But yeah, there you go. That is the story of the Hatt and Garden Heist.

So I just thought for people to picture what we're talking about. What was the movie called again? King of Thieves. King of Thieves. So we had Brian Reader was Michael Kane. Terry Perkins was Jim Broadbent. John Kenny? Who's that?

John Collins. John Collins, right. Danny Jones was played by Ray Winston. Michael Gambon was Billy to Fish. What was it? I don't know, I don't know who Billy the Fish is. But they added in, maybe they added in characters. Billy the Fish Lincoln, sorry.

William Lincoln, I think of that. But then he was like the nephew of John Collins. Ah, I don't, do you... IRL. IRL. Oh, I see. But they've also just made him another old man. Yeah.

But yeah, there you go. Ray Winston. There you go. I'm keen to see the movie. Yeah, it looks like a bit of fun. You know Michael Kane. Can't go wrong. Can't go wrong with the heist movie.

Yeah. This is why I think maybe it's a fun idea for us to, after we finish phrasing the bar. Congratulations to Brendan Fraser, by the way. Oh my goodness. At the time of recording, he's just won the Academy Award for Best Actor. And we can't help it feel like we played a pretty big part of that. Absolutely. And I guess we're waiting for our thank you fruit basket from Brendan.

By putting our monthly podcast behind a paywall, we have elevated that man back to the top. That's right. I think we started the Brennaissance. I really do. Yeah. But yeah, after we finish up that show, it could be a fun new movie podcast for Sidor as movies based on doing on topics, perhaps.

Because I'd love to see King of Thieves. Yeah, that'd be fun. I'd love to watch all three of those movies. That's probably going a bit too far for me. No, just pick one per topic probably. Probably the better one. Can't believe there's three in three years. I know.

Well, I guess it's their version of Chopper. We've got so many different versions of Chopper, you know. Right. All those Melbourne Underbells, Yeah. Well, that brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show. Jess, you know what this is. What is this all about?

Who are we here to thank? We are here to thank the glorious people who support us over on patreon.com forward slash do go on pod. There's many levels, there's many rewards. You can get access to three bonus episodes per month. You can be in the Facebook group, the loveliest section of the internet. Oh my God. So lovely.

Get early access to live. shows and tickets and all that sort of good stuff and it's helped this show keep on running. And who can forget voting rights? They chose this topic. They did. Very cool. Oh, yeah, this was like, right.

It was, there was like one vote splitting the first and six. Really? And this is between hundreds and hundreds of votes. It's more, I think. That's incredible. It was wild. Did you go for like three different hosts or three very different types of topics? No, they were all like, I think I put up four.

widely different topics. Yeah, cool. And of course, they chose a heist. They couldn't help themselves. Dave, you keeping the heist run going next week? It's an adventure. Okay. I like the highest of that.

If stealing hearts. Yeah. Heart heist. So, yeah, we spent about half an hour at the end of each week to just thank and appreciate some of our great supporters. The first part of this we like to do is for people who've signed up on the Sydney Scheinberg level or at patreon. dot com slash jr-go-on pod.

We do a section called fact-quota question. Has a jingle go something like this? Fact-quote or question, d-d-hing. He always remembers the ding. And she always remembers the thing. And the way this one works is one of the, or we read out four of them, and they've given us a fact, a quote, or a question,

or a brag or a suggestion, or many other things, really. And this week, first up, we've got Phil Bougoir. Am I said? Or Burgess? That's got to be bourgeois. I'm not even looking at it written down. It's got to be bourgeois. Bourgeois.

I don't know. I don't do well with words and reading. And Phil has given himself the title of Vice President of Vices and Precedents. Ooh. And, oh, Phil's giving us a recipe. Okay, great. I've added a few more options in the drop-down menu for the... Nice.

Submission form. And Phil writes, a weird drink recipe to share. with you. Oh, I don't think we've had a drink recipe before. No, I'm not sure that we have. Great. Jess, I wonder if you could use this later in the Trip Ditch Club. I won't. This was passed to me by my dad who picked it up from an A&W restaurant from his youth. A&W, if you don't know, was a drive-in-style restaurant serving burgers, fries, and root beer floats. Ooh, spiders. According to my dad, they briefly served a drink called a mad dog. I love this already. Love that. And this is what I'm sharing with you today.

Grab a pint glass or a glass beer stein. Fill it half full with your favorite root beer. Then fill the rest with your favorite orange soda. No, root beer. We don't know. You don't hear too much about it. I always pictured to be like ginger beer, but it's not apparently. It's something different.

This is good enough to drink, but for a proper mad dog, place a quarter dill pickle spear into the drink and stir briefly. Briefly. So you've got half root beer, half orange beer. half orange soda, then a pickle. A dill pickle spear. I was raised with this, so I may not be the fairest judge, but I genuinely think this is one of the best non-alcoholic drinks out there.

Give it a try. Okay. I'd be up for that. Yeah. When we go to America, we got to ask for a mad dog. Yeah. And I assume confused them. Right away.

Thank you, Phil. The next one comes from Tim Livingston, aka at best 10 liters of laughs. I think that's a reference to who knew it with Matt Stewart. On one episode, a question was, what was this comedian's stage name? And one of them I said,

40 liters of laughs. That's great. That's really funny. Which I think, yeah, I think it was Alexei and Jack Druss were on that episode and they said that it would be a good name for a festival show of mine one year. I'm like, I think that's a good one.

40 liters of laughs. That's either a coincidence or that's what he's referencing. Now, Tim has a fact writing, during the shoutouts on the Chippendale's Murders episode, Jess gave someone's dance act, for one of a better term, the name Lyndon B. Johnson. Dave, you won't remember this because you were getting ready for work while we were thanking a great patron supporters because Jess and I really believe that it's worth our time to make them feel special. You see, this is work. Wait, what?

And you see it as a time to get ready for your... Yeah, that's right. I'm stretching right now. La la la. Tim continues, well, you may not know that Johnson was possibly the sexiest of the US presidents. Why you ask? Well, he apparently had gigantic testicles such that he needed custom tailored pants. Wow.

This sound clip gives you an idea. Love you guys. Okay. Well, I don't know if I can play... I guess I can see if this... That took a twist that I was not expecting. I thought I was going to say people didn't realize that he was a dancer. But no, he was going to be nimble on his feet or something.

But no, he had very large testicles. Large balls. And that clip is a four minute 40 clip. They were saying there that that makes them the sexiest president? Yeah. So they're large testicles size. I've got to tell you, I'm a little confused by Tim's logic here. But a fact that I'm happy that I've learned.

Yeah. Happy to know it. Linda B. Johnson. Big bowls. The B's for big. The B's for balls It should be Lyndon Bibi Johnson

Thank you Tim Yeah it's confusing Because it's not a big Johnson No It's a big ball Small Johnson That's honestly The worst combo

Yeah You'd prefer it the other way around Just for aesthetics You know The bigger of the balls You know comparatively It makes the Johnson

It's a regular size Johnson But it looks small But you want small balls They're really small And then it makes everything else look bigger. Yeah. Makes you think.

Well, I can finally say that I've got something in common with Lyndon B. All right. Austin Horst up next. Big balls? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Austin horse is up next. Okay, something witty that references some obscure riff from several episodes ago. That's good stuff.

Well played. Woo! And Austin has a question writing, hey guys, hope everyone is well. It's been a bit since I submitted a fact quotal question. I keep forgetting to throw one in. My question is, what have you been watching or binging lately? Now, Austin answers the question, as we always encourage the question ask us to do, writing, I've been watching Felicity.

I decided to give it a go after it came up on a recent episode of phrasing the bar. Yeah. The episode of, it was called... Well, it had Kerry Russell in it. Carrie Russell and Harry Sinford. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't remember what it was cool, but it was something like extraordinary measures. Yeah, that was it.

And I said, I want to watch Felicity. Yeah. I watched the first episode and I was like, eh. And I thought it was alias. So there you go. Austin Osso says it's been pretty fun so far. I've also been re-watching Ted Lassow to get ready for season three. Love of the pod.

Keep up the great work. Well, that was going to be my answer because at the time of recording, Ted Lesso has just, just came out last night. I haven't watched it yet. I'm going to watch it tonight, and I'm excited about it. Yeah, great. But I also wanted to do the same. I wanted to re-watch the first two seasons, but I didn't.

And so now I'm just going to go in blind for getting some stuff, hopefully remembering a lot. Yeah, you'll remember it. You'll pick it up. It's a good show. I'll end up watching that too. But lately, I've just gone back to Pennyworth, the origin of Batman's Butler, which is basically like. You watch it in the bar? Yeah, it may as well be called young Michael Kane.

Because that's kind of, he's a cockney. he's the Cockney version of Alfred Pennyworth. Right. And I've been watching Yellowstone. I watched the Wutan Clan series, an American saga. Yeah, they're probably the three ones I've been binging lately. Over the last few days, I've binged Andor, the Star Wars show. Oh, yeah, I love that.

Yeah, I've got two to go, loving it. Nice. Loving that. Been watching poker face. Oh, yeah, I've also been watching that, which I've been very much enjoying. And slowly trying to catch up to. to succession because the new season's out. I'm starting to come.

Yeah, I'm finally getting there. I'm finally getting that. And can I just say, what a fantastic impression. I get it now. I love it. It's great. Good show. Yeah, I love that show.

And also I've been watching a bit of Baywatch on that free. We talked about this on the podcast. I think so. On air. I can't remember I've told you both about it because it was my obsession for a while. I've managed to pull myself back slightly. But my TV comes with free digital. channels and one of them plays Baywatch 24-7 and that was the channel that was on when he turned the

TV on and I'd always just get hooked because I'd be like, oh, watch something on one of the streaming services, TV on, I'm sitting there with a toasted sandwich in hand. 45 minutes later, I finished the episode. Yeah, but not the toasted sandwich. He's a slow eater. I haven't watched a lot of it. I think I watched some of it back of the day, but it feels like it's probably comfort TV. Yeah, so easy to watch.

Yeah. Yeah. I love shows with sunshine. Anything said in California. Yeah. And every, and I'm not kidding, every episode has a much. montage that doesn't need to be there of sexy people to music. They're just, and it's like a full two minutes.

They're just like, obviously we're short every week. It's amazing. That's what Yellowstone does the same, only it's, um, horse riders. And they're doing these, like, these horse tricks. One of them is that the horse runs real fast and then drops its back legs to skid. And they just show it so much. I'm like, oh, we get it. We get it.

It'll be fine if the episode was 40 seconds shorter. All these horses. spinning around and they're just these long montages and then someone like oh now that is a great horse like yeah yeah it's great we've seen this i get it they're great horses it spins around it's skids so weird i'm saying the same thing we get it the people they're sexy on the beach the horses they're sexy exactly get back to the jet ski accident um oh yeah and i feel the same but it's like streaming services don't have a time to fill. No, exactly.

They had to fill it back in the day. You don't need to anymore. Oh, yeah. Thank you very much, Austin, for that question. No one else had any binging things? We've set our pieces. Yeah, we've had a few years. As we went lifted and I'm like, I've been watching too much TV lately.

Yeah, I've got nothing going at the moment. Just writing a festival show. Ugh. I mean, yeah, come, buy tickets. Finally, from Ryan Butterfield, aka Senior Chief Submariner. Ryan is Butterfield. And Ryan's got a suggestion.

So we've got four different ones this week. Recipe fact question suggestion. Ryan writes, go listen to We Are Marvel with Justin and Jeremy where they discuss the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Available wherever you listen to podcasts. And final question here, any update on the US tour? Well, the short answer is no.

No real update. No. Unfortunately, I mean, we're still in our conversation with our amazing contact over there, producer. And there's been, he's had meetings with lawyers. And, yeah, still hopefully going to happen. Fingers crossed. At some point. Yes.

I think that's safe to say. Yeah, that it hopefully will happen at some point. At some point. Yeah. And we're sorry that it's taken so freaking long. Thank you very much, Ryan Austin, Tim and Finn. Tom and Foll Tom and Foll.

From the hit New Zealand radio show. That old Tony Martin sketch, remember that? Hello Tom, hello Ful, hello Tom. And then they did it at one week, they did a prank call to the Mussing Persons Agency. I'd like to report a muslin pair of jondels. We've just lost our entire New Zealand audience. No, but the guy does it.

The guy does it, it's a Kiwi, so that's okay. And are you? No, I'm not, but I'm doing... Yeah, exactly. Mm, okay. You're part of the problem. Sorry, those bon a butt of a Muslim understanding. This is a Muslim person's agency, whereas a jaundle is a comfy better footwear.

It's fucking so good. All right, the next thing we like to do is shout out to a few of our other great patron supporters. Just you know, I'm going to come up with a game. Yeah, I'm thinking like their nickname. It's got to be. Tallboy and all that. Oh, so good. If you're watching them on CCTV, what are you going to call?

Exactly right. It's fantastic. watching them on CCTV, trying to figure out who they are, you know, not a creepy way. Not a creepy way, but you see them do a crime, you go, okay. Is that that, uh, that's, uh, for, uh, I call this guy the bin man. Oh my God, don't burn too many. That's a good one. Okay.

All right, first up, I'd love to thank from Reno in Nevada in the United States. It's Morgan Bell. Oh, the biggest little city in the world. Morgan Bell is the pied piper. That's good. Yeah, that's real good. Yeah, that's real good. Because he wears one of those funny little hats and has a pipe.

And has a pipe. and looks like he's a pine along. Yep. Thank you so much, Morgan. I'd also love to thank, ooh, from address unknown. Oh. I can only assume from somewhere deep within the fortress of the moles. It's Mick McCaffrey.

The mole man. The mole man. He's the digger. Yeah. So he's the tunnel. He tunnels and his holes are both deep and high because they go into the wall, obviously. and everyone would be able to figure that out. And if you couldn't, what's wrong with you?

Mick the Mole Man McCaffrey. I reckon Mick might take that on. That's great. Yeah, that works. Triple M. Triple M. On your Mick. And finally for me, I'd love to thank from Hamilton in Ohio.

God's country itself. Man, I can't believe that people in Ohio listen to our silly little show, but I really appreciate that they do. I'd love to thank Jonathan Peelman. Oh, that's great. What about slick Rick? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

And they're like, they got slick. Slick. That's slick Rick. That's slick Rick. And then they find out his name's Jonathan and they're like, oh. Oh, I like Slick Rick. Yeah, they're like, slick Rick's a good name. Can we call you Rick?

Well, can we go to the Peel Man? Because that's cool. Yeah. Rick Peel Man. That's better. Slick Rick Pill man. Banana boy. Jess, you want to thank a few of our great supporters?

No, hey, how about Dave? Yeah, I'll take it from here. Well, I'll take it from him. I thought I could recover from that. She was going to sleep on the job. It was a comical yawn. I'd like to thank from Reid in the Australian Capital Territory. It's Emma Drumgold.

What a name. Oh, my. Emma Drumgold. Emma Drumgold. I'm going to call her. What do you call a brick of gold again? A bullion? A bullion.

Is that what a brick of gold is called? Or a bar? You weren't looking for the word bar, were you? No, I think I was looking for a boon. I reckon the bullion's good. The bullion's good. The bullion. Yeah, I love that a lot.

It's got a glimmer about her. Yeah. Emma the bullion drum gold. that. This is probably because she's got gold in her name, but still, I stand by it. I would also like to thank from Provo in Utah. Give me too. I would like to thank, this is, uh, maybe the first we've ever had a whole family here, looks like, Lauren, Joe, and Griffin Gibb. Oh, the BGs. Yeah, you got to call them the BGs. That's perfect. I've been listening to the BGs a lot this week, and they're so good.

I just used to think they were kind of fun and silly, but now I'm like, I'm a lot. like, geez, how many great songs are they written? I know. It's a bit like Ava. A bunch of different genres and I only just found this out. They wrote islands in the stream. They wrote it. They wrote it.

Really? Yeah. I love a band who writes a bunch of hits for themselves but also has spares to give away to other artists. It's like handball it off to someone else. Yeah. Handball it off to a little artist like Dolly Parton. Yeah.

Who also writes hits for herself and others. She's prolific. I think it, yeah, because I was thinking that too. I'm like, Dolly wouldn't. She wouldn't have needed it. Someone to write it. And it was on Kenny Rogers' album, I think, but she was the guest on it.

But, gee, she made it her own. I'll tell you that much. Fucking now. Jeez, these guys. And did you know what references? Islands in the stream? Pissing? Apparently it's an Ernest Hemingway title.

Oh. Oh, there you go. Or some other writer. There's some famous writer. I'll look that up while you're coming up with a name. Oh, we're calling them the Bee Gees. The Bee Gees. That's good stuff.

Absolutely. Exactly. I'm Lauren Jo, angry off and give. He's so good at learning words. I've been thinking of that song a bit because talking about, what's the line? By the way I walk and that guy's gate. Yes. I kept ringing through my head when you were saying that.

That's funny. And finally, I would like to thank, or finally for me, from Canterbunk in Maine. Great to have some listeners out all the way out in Maine. I would like to thank Papa Kildare. Baja, aka the, and then it ends. Wow. Papa Kilaasa, aka the. We'll never know, also known as, that's exciting.

Papa Kibasa. Papa Kilbasa. What about, what about the human salsa? Oh my goodness. We're thinking the dance move or the? I was thinking the dip. The dip. Hell yeah.

The human salsa. Love that. You know, because it looks. The dip, the dance move? The human salsa, you know, because it's a great addition. Yep. But it also can be a little spicy if you're not careful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

With the Papa Kilbassa, aka the human salsa. Wow. Yeah, we're talking medium hate? That's my maximum. Maximum is medium. Maximum is medium. Yeah, my God. Above maximum, you're crazy.

You're crazy. It looks like, you know, we're talking about LBJ's balls before. This video, I think, it's supposedly it's a real phone call, and in it, he's, he's, ordering pants and he says, this is a real recording from August of 1964 where he's ordering Haggar pants and says, and he's asked where the zipper ends, and he says, down where my nuts hang and then he burps and says, back to my bungle.

That can't be real. Back to my bungle. That's Beavis and Buffett. Back to my bum. Okay. Well, I'm glad we got to the bottom of that, the bunghole of that. In this photo, he looks like your dad. He does look like my dad.

Okay. Can you picture your dad saying something like that? Not far off. Back to my bunghole. Anyway, back to my bunghole. Enough about that. Let's get back to my bunghole. I feel like that's going to be another one of those things that just enters the do-go-on vernacular.

Back to my bono. Much like, now watch this. drive. US presidents. Yeah, they're right for comedy. So much gold. May I thank some people? I'd love if you did.

I would love to thank from Bradley West Virginia, Joshua Wilson. Oh, Joshua Wilson. The Mini Cooper. Oh, yeah. For Bradley Cooper. Yeah, and he's also the, I guess he's the driver. The driver. He's the stick man.

Oh, yeah. Is that what the stick man is? Sure. Yeah. I don't know. It's also that's the local. of the Saints. Oh, yeah.

So is the nickname the nickname? No, it's the Mini Cooper. Mini Cooper. Great. But he's got an alternative nickname. Yeah. I would also love to thank from Milton Keynes in Great Britain, Richie Bolton.

Richie Bolton. That sounds like... Thunder. That sounds like, yeah, like a mover in the shaker. I'm Richie Bolter. Johnny Thunder. Johnny Thunder. Johnny Thunder.

Richie Bolton. You may know me as Johnny Thunder. But the cops find out his real name is Richie Bolton. And they go, happy with that. Yeah. Yeah, that's actually pretty good. That's actually pretty good. That's such a good name.

And finally, to bring it all home, I would love to thank from Winterport. What's Emmy? Oh, we're back in Maine. That's Maine again. It's too. Winterport and Maine. Amy C. Amy C.

The top hat. Oh, that's good. That is good based on. She wears like these sort of special socks that have picked little pictures of top hats. That's actually really cute That's so cute The Top Hat Great to have a couple of this is out in Maine

Yeah All the way out east Where one of our famous One of our famous episodes I don't know why I said famous One of our episodes was set The one about the Stranger of North Pond That's right

Now that's why The reason why I know where Maine is Which is like right up North East Great to have you All on board out in Maine Thank you so much to Amy Ritchie Joshua a pop-bar, Lauren Joe, Griffin, Emma, Jonathan, Mick and Morgan. And last, but not least,

we need to welcome in some Triptitch Club members. How does the Triptitch Club work again, Dave? Well, these people have been on the shout-out level or above for three consecutive years. They've already had their shout-out, but to say thank you again, we shout them out this time, putting them into our club slash Hall of Fame slash Establishment slash hangout place. It's a real theatre of the mind type thing. We've got a bar where everyone is. already been in the club is hanging out. We have musical guests. We have food.

We have drinks. And we also hype them up on their way in. Jess usually comes up with a cocktail and or a bit of food that we're serving weekly. I've got a cocktail called The Governor and I'm serving it in a shoe. And I've also, well, now that we had one of the fact quotes or questions as a recipe, I will add the mad dog to it. But again, I will serve that in a shoe. You've just got a surplus.

of shoes. I bought a lot of shoes. You just did a job where you thought you were stealing diamonds. Yeah. I thought the tom. It's all shoes. It's all shoes. Well, to be fair, I did rob a shoe factory. I don't know what I was thinking. Honestly, stop. Like, you shouldn't be letting me out. Who knows what I'll do. And Dave, you normally book a band for the after party? Yeah, this week, you're never going to believe it. I have booked an incredible ban with a back catalogue of hits as long as We've got madness dropping by. Whoa! We'll be opening with their song, Michael Kane.

My name is Michael Kane. Great song. Love that song. Love that band. And from there on, you know, the hits just keep coming. Do you like how I just said it in my voice? Yeah, you put your spin on it. My name.

Michael, hi. There it is. Great. Well, we've got a record amount of inductees this week. Dave, are you ready? Thank you so much to all these people for sticking with us for three years. and I will try and hype you up. So if people want to picture it, I'm on the door,

I've got a clipboard, I've got a list of names, inductees. I'm going to read your names out. I'm going to lift the Velvet Rope. Welcome you in. Dave's on the stage. He's emceeing the evening. He's going to hype you up as you come in. All the other past inductees are around,

chanting along, having a great time. Jess is behind the bar, but she's also behind the Dave. Yeah. And she is patting on the bum. Patting on the bum. Hyping up the hype man. Yep. All right.

So if we're ready to go, Dave, you feeling ready. I'm feeling ready. Let's rock. All right. First up, I'd love to welcome in from Perth in Western Australia. It's Deanne. Deanne. I'm Fleeanne with Deanne. I thought you were going to say Diane. I was going to say, I'm fly-an with Diane. I'm stuck with it anyway. Sleian! Diane or Deanne, welcome in. Diane. I'm a fan. That's what I would have said.

I'd also love to thank from Hawthorne East in Victoria, Australia to Eliza Knox. I would never nox this, Eliza. I would only praise them. Please. Make yourself a lot of. home from Newport in Great Britain. It's Tom Tithecott John. Newport, give me two. Tom. Tathcott John.

Woo! From Kalani Heights in New South Wales, Australia. It's Brianna. This night is hitting New Kalani Heights. Yes. With Brianna. From Coleroy in New South Wales, Australia. It's Aaron Hurrigan.

I didn't know how you're going to say that. Would you say that, Aragon? No, Hurrigan, Durrigan. Erin, you're my boorigan. Okay. Hey, move a go, Maddie. From Overstrand in Norfolk in Great Britain, it's Eleanor Haassine. I feel like that this night was going to be under Strand, but now it's Over Strand.

Yeah, we're a capacity of strands. From London in Great Britain, it's Sheehan. Sheehan, great to see him. Woo! From South Bend in Indiana in the United States, it's Carl D. Bronnell. Brownell, I never frownell when I see you, From a ride in New South Wales, Australia, it's Rihanna Neal. Well, this night is going for a ride with Rihanna Neal.

From Croydon Hills, Victoria, Australia. It's Emma and Matt. Emma and Matt, more like dilemma and cat. From Liverpool in Great Britain, it's Jay Johnson. You can call him Jay. Or you can call him Johnson. You can call him Jay Johnson. It's Jay Johnson.

How does he do it? From Mitchum in Victoria Australia, it's Dan Marshall. The Marshal of Fun is here, by which I mean Dan. Yeah. From address that I can only assume from deep within the fortress of the miles, it's Judah. Judah, you're never done so many, I feel overwhelmed. Judah, you are. Trudeau, me.

True to me. True to me. Judimate. Jeteran. From Stale Fridge and great friend. Claire Johnson. We're only halfway. Claire Johnson.

I thought I couldn't bear this night, but now I'm going to Claire this night. And I'm going to declair this night. Claire Johnson night. Bassing Stoke in Great Britain, it's John Coutier. John Coutier. Or John Coutelier. Oh, let's go with Coutier. This night couldn't get any more beautier.

It kind of sounds like beautiful, I guess. Also from just unknown. Probably from deep within the fortress of the malls, it's Kyle Williams. Kyle Williams, this guy's got style. More like style Williams. Yeah, got it. Also, from deep within the fortress of the moles, it's Hayden Little. Nothing little about this personality.

Big balls. Yeah, too big. To the bunghole. Back to the bunghole. Whenever we're off topic, back to the bungle. That's the new podcast. Not Dugan. It's back to the bungal.

From Hopkins in maybe Minnesota in the United States, it's Jacob. The world's best Hopkins. And I'm not talking about Sir Anthony. I'm talking about Jacob from Hopkins. From Edmund in Oklahoma in the United States, it's Jason Wells. Well, this night was going badly, but now it's going well. Jason Wells. from Brighton in the United States.

Am I, Dave? Michigan? Michigan, maybe. It's Glenn Sims. Glenn Sims. I would give this person 10... What runs the Sims? It isn't weird.

Bins. Ten, yeah, I give Glenn ten bins. Full of money. Yeah, yeah, full of... Yeah, yeah, full of... Yeah, wheelie bins. It's full of cash. Back to the episode.

This is good. Keep it going. Keep it going. From Smitesdale. in Victoria, Australia. It's Nicola Loda. Well, Loder up, Nicholas here. From Macclesfield in Great Britain, it's Rachel Hunt. We're back in the Hunt with Rachel.

From Deep Within the Fortress of the Moles, it's Esther. Esther, haven't met anyone Bester. From Indianapolis in Indiana, United States, it's Chancellor Duval. Chancellor Duval. Oh, my God. You know what? I'm going to give this person a third, fourth, a fifth chance. They're that good. Chancellor Duval. From Seattle in Washington in the United States, it's Derek Kozak.

More like Derek Kodak moment. Let's get a photo. So beautiful. Yes. From Deep Within the Fortress of the Moles, it's Jess. It's probably the best Jess I've ever met. How fucking dare you. Also from Moll land, it's Mark Hutchinson.

Definitely the best mark I've ever known. This person's hit the mark. There it is. And finally, from Tyler in Texas in the United States, it's Jake Hanson. Jake Hanson. like Jake Ham handsome. There it is. Mop, Jake.

Applaus for Dave Warding. Well, my God, I feel like my brain is on fire. Once again, I'm not in a good way. Jake, Mark, Jess, Derek, Chancellor, Esther, Rachel, Nicola, Glen, Jason, Jacob, Hayden, Kyle, John, Claire, Judah, Dan, Jay, Emma and Matt, Rian, Kyle, Sheen, Eleanor, Erin, Brianna, Tom, Eliza, Deanne, Deanne. and Diane. Dianne. Or Diane.

Or Diane. Welcome all to the club, make yourselves at home. Please grab a boot full of liquid from the bar. And sorry about that. Enjoy a bit of madness. Oh, yeah. One step beyond. Can't wait.

Taking requests? Absolutely, yeah. So good. Can they do it up there, Kazeley? Yeah. I'd like that. I'd love to hear Madness of Stokely. all up there, Kazali.

I'd love to hear baggy trousers. Let's put on the list. All right, great. Anything we need to tell people before we head off? You two. That we love them, that they can suggest a topic. There's a link in the show notes. It's also on our website Do Go On Pod,

where you can find all the info about live shows. You can find us on social media at Do Go On Pod. And that's it. Yeah. Stick around for some possible outtakes after the song. We're all breaking, Dave. home. Thank you so much for listening and until next time. Also thank you and goodbye.

Later. Bye. The cabinets were bolted to the floor and to the ceiling, making them incredibly sturdy. At least you caught yourself. I nearly didn't. On the last week's episode when I went through, I said some words wrong and I just deleted the sentences.

Because you just powered on? Yeah. Let me try again. The cabinets were bolted to the floor and to the stealing. mate. Oh, we got to put this in at the end of the episode. We need it. This is bloopers section. Jess loves a bloopers section.

I do love bloopers. This is a secret track for sure. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester. But this way you'll never, will never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram. Click our link tree.

Very, very easy. It means we know to come to you and you'll also know that we're coming to you. Yeah, we'll come to you. You come to us. Very good. And we give you a spam-free guarantee.