Do Go On - 388 - The Hatton Garden Heist

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

It's a heist episode, and it's the best kind of heist - a bunch of old men, out for one last job. This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 00:03:56 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Do Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hatton_Garden_safe_deposit_burglaryhttps://www.theweek.co.uk/63246/how-the-real-hatton-garden-robbery-played-outhttps://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/jan/23/one-last-job-inside-story-of-the-hatton-garden-heisthttps://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2016/03/biggest-jewel-heist-in-british-historyhttps://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/hatton-garden-heist-ringleader-brian-reader-may-only-have-months-to-live-a6917041.htmlhttps://www.crimeandinvestigation.co.uk/article/the-hatton-garden-criminals Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club, April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at dogo1pod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right. I'm doing shows with Saren Jayaimana, who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February,

Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattstuartcomedy.com.

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write the future. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnke and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Oh, come on. I feel like you're putting Matt Stewart first a lot lately. I honestly try to mix it up week to week and I didn't know where I was there and I thought, you know what, someone that will let it go is Jess Poole. But Matt over there, he would be fuming. He would have stormed out. Yeah.

I get a real bee in my bonnet over these sort of things. Yeah, you've got a real tally going on. Yeah. I think the last 25 episodes or so, I think Matt now is on 13, Jess is on 12. Okay. Oh, there you go. Well, you know, and that makes me think, how good is it to be alive?

Yeah. Great to hear it. Feels so great. Preach it, brother. Hey, Jess, you're so good at explaining things. Can you explain to new listeners how the show works? Absolutely. So, I'm Jess.

Great. That one's Matt. You say something. Hi, I'm Matt. Great. That one's Matt. You say something. Hi, I'm Matt. And that one's Dave. This one's Dave. The three of us, together combined, are Do Go On. Do Go On.

Damn, I thought we'd all say it. Voltron. We are Voltron. And we take it in turns each week and have done for so many weeks to research a topic, bring it back to the other two, and tell them all about it. And they listen politely. They never go on dogshit riffs. And we're always very respectful of one another.

And we usually get on to topic with a question. It is my turn to do a report this week. And do you have a question? I sure do. Love it. My question is, in 2015, what were Mr. Ginger, Mr. Strong, Mr. Montana, the gent, the tall man, and the old man responsible for.

Oh, they're definitely cat names, aren't they? Really? I thought they were Spice Boys. Oh. Ginger. Maybe Spice Cats? Oh, Spice Cats, Spicy Cats. It is not Spicy Cats.

Well, they sound like they're going to be responsible for a crime against fashion. Why is that? Is it some sort of fashion heist? It's not a fashion heist. Tall man. Is it Mr. Men related at all? There's tall man, Mr. Ginger.

Sorry, I put the wrong emphasis there. It's not a fashion heist. Okay. A bank heist. It's pretty much a bank heist, yes. Whoa. That's exciting. Wow.

It's a- We've gone heist. I know. We've become the heist podcast. We're the heist pod. Well, like- Every now and then we talk about Nicolas Cage or Indiana Jones, but mostly it's heist. Well, this was voted on by the Patreons, so they're obviously in a bit of a heist mood.

Yeah. You know, I gave them other options that were not heisty. I can't get enough. I love a heist. I love a heist. And every time it's like the crime of the century, the biggest thing ever. And I'm like, how many are there? And then you hear it, you go,

that is actually one of the most audacious ones ever. But there's so many. Yeah. There's a lot of crimes of the century. Humans are great at crime. Oh, man, we're good at it. And yeah, so this has been voted on by the Patreon. It's been suggested by a bunch of people,

including Alex Ryan, Johnny Dawson, Haig Cruikshank, Ronan Williams, Jennifer Welliver, Charlotte and Sam Lacey. What about Tall Man? Did Tall Man suggest it? Tall Man did not suggest it. But that's a sign that this is going to be a ripper. It's a bit of fun.

It's a fun story. Those names are amazing. And it's quite recent. This is in 2015. You're right. So. What country? I guess we'll find out.

I guess you'll find out if you just shout out. Literally, actually, you'll find out in the fourth word. Alright. I can't wait. Fifth word. Damn it, because I've just realised I've left a word out. Sixth word. Are all these words counting? This is a good sign early on.

Your first sentence, you've missed a word. I've just missed the word is. Read it without is. Read it without. Read it without is. Read it without. Read it as is. It's in. Okay. Okay, don't say is.

I'll read it without. I'll read it without. Exactly. As the writer intended. The writer is me. Our story takes place London's famous Hatton Garden. Oh. The centre of the UK's diamond trade and home to over 300 jewellery businesses.

The area takes its name from Sir Christopher Hatton, the famous English Lord Chancellor and politician in the 16th century. That's about all we'll hear about Christopher Hatton. But Hatton Garden, it's just an area of London with lots and lots of jewellery shops. Fantastic. I've been there a lot. Have you? Do a lot of diamond shopping there.

Get my rubies. Yeah. Yeah. Who do you visit? The diamond guys? Yeah. Get my rubies. Yeah. Who do you visit? The diamond guys? Yeah. Sit down. Have a beer.

We know diamonds, so you don't need to. You have those ads? No. On sports radio. Of course. I actually prefer- So you miss those forces you propose. We'll make it easy and a bit of fun for you.

We've got NRL on one TV, AFL on the other. You don't even have to look at the time. And highlights of the 97 grand final on a different screen. Well, I'm not going to that. We lost. We got a pool table. Why did you pick out the grand final of the Saints lost? No, the NRL grand final.

Oh, NRL grand final. Go Roosters or whoever. Whoever. We've got beers. We've got topless sales assistants. My match. Oh. My God. Bringing around diamonds on a tray. Is that really a thing?

What's it called? It's called the Diamond Guys. I'm thinking I'm going to do a fake ad in my show about them. Love it. And I think maybe I've just found the voice for it. I want to do it. Let me do it. I want you to do it.

I love to take the piss of men. No, good on you. If you don't, you know, it can be intimidating going into a joint. Now that I think about it, actually, maybe there's something in it, you know? Maybe it's a bit intimidating. It's very funny that they're lowering their inhibitions before getting them to make a big purchase. And saying that, hey, look, guys, we're letting you have a beer. Why don't you have another beer?

Yeah And another one You look this You want another beer? Now let's start looking at a More expensive range of diamonds How much do you love her? Yeah

Another five grand's worth? I mean can you put a price on love? Yes You know what? I really love her Yeah Wow we better go to the top shelf diamonds And if that horse gets scratched

You get the diamond for free. It's very funny, but also, like, a man could just walk into a jeweller and say, hey, I don't know a whole lot about diamonds. That's why I always go to my preferred jeweller, Angus and Coot. That's a great name. That's a great name. They're always in shopping centres. It makes me laugh every time.

Coot. Oh, one diamond, please, Mr Coot. Or Angus. Or Mrs Angus. Thank, one diamond, please, Mr Coot. Or Angus. Or Mrs Angus. Thank you. Mrs Angus, Mr Coot. Together they are Angus and Coot. They're back to back.

We've gotten distracted very early. So, on the evening of April 2nd, 2015, staff at Hatton Garden Safe Deposit LTD. So, it's a safety deposit business. Yes. Rather than a bank, but they're than a bank but it's a sense they're essentially a bank sim it was similar to the brinks one yeah a few weeks ago yeah it is my dream one day to go into one of those vaults where you have like your little drawer and they give you the key and they say probably in a french accent because it's usually in europe yeah uh just let

us know when you're done so jason bourne you want to be Jason Bourne. I just watched that recently for the first time. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. There's a gun in there? Yeah. And a passport or something? What does it all mean?

He's like, who am I? Did you finish it? Yeah. Okay. I was going to say, because you do get an answer. No spoilers. But you find out. But you figure it out.

You're like, who is this strange man? Oh, well, I only had 15 minutes, so I turned it off. We'll never know. It was April 2nd, 2015. Staff are locking up for the night and looked forward to the next four days off work for the Easter long weekend. When they returned on Tuesday morning, they discovered a terrible sight. They had been burgled. Oh, my God.

So, we're coming up to the eight-year anniversary. This will be coming out just around the exact time. Yeah. Eight years. What is that? Is that the diamond anniversary? The diamond goes. Every anniversary is a diamond anniversary to those guys.

Oh, your third one. You know what that means. Diamonds. God, those diamonds. Women love fresh diamonds. They love them fresh. The fresher the better. Smell that.

That's fresh. They've got, like, just bread baking in the back just to make you be like, that does smell good. Yeah. Because men can't tell the difference between bread and diamonds. And every time you go past the bakery, you're like, I need another diamond. I need another diamond. Fuck.

I love my wife. Yes, and her diamonds get a little stale they don't last very long no unlike i love um over the four-day weekend thieves had broken into their secure vault and stolen an estimated 14 million dollars worth of gold jewelry money the works some estimates are way way higher some are like 300 million pounds. Right. But I guess it's one of those things where inside the box, you could have whatever. Exactly right. So, you don't have to tell them.

Yeah. I suppose until you claim the insurance. And then you just lie. Yes, I had $14 million of cash in my small box. Yeah. So, estimates are varied, but a lot of them sort of settle around 14 million pounds. Given advancement in security, technology and CCTV, bank robberies and break-ins have become less and less common. One article written for The Guardian in 2016 says bank robberies had dropped from 847 nationally in 1992 to 108 by 2012.

In London, the number fell from 290 to 26 in the same period. That is awful. All those thieves out of work yeah they just have to you know it's just i don't know thievery had moved more modern you know i know they're sending text messages being like hi it's mom here you haven't paid your e-link account hey mom it's me i've lost my phone please send me 25 000 yeah delete this number mom and uh message me on WhatsApp. That's what I got recently.

I'm like, who's falling for that? And I'm like, oh, mums. I saw one in an article that was so specific. It was like, hi, mum, your daughter here, like didn't say obviously the name. And then it's like something happened. I dropped my phone in the toilet. Now like this crazy convoluted story as to why they couldn't send a photo of them and all this sort of stuff because their phone fell in the loop it would i mean it totally

makes sense that it would catch people because if you do like if it just sounds like your daughter's voice or whatever you'd probably be like you know there'd be enough that you put out a thousand or a hundred thousand those messages you're gonna get some takers. My daughter does speak very robotically. My daughter does drop stuff in the toilet. Normally poop. English is her fourth language. Hi, Mum, I'm just going to fuse my phone with my poop again. Her sentence structure is confusing at times. That article also says that that type of crime

had largely been replaced by cyber thefts. For an old-school crime such as Hatton Garden, there was a vastly depleted pool of the usual suspects to be put under surveillance. So who were these usual suspects? Mr Spacey? Kaiser Soce. Also, the names that I mentioned before in my question

don't come up a heap. It's just like one newspaper article I thought was pretty funny. They're fantastic. And I think one of the people suggesting it just put like all those names in there And I was like that's good stuff But they are some of the suspects Yes Tall boy

The tall man Johnny Ginger Well we start off with 76 year old Brian Reader who's the governor Fuck that's so good Or the master Played by the brick hat guy The governor Brick top

Brick top For sure No thanks Turkish I'm sweet enough He was no stranger to crime In fact actually I think he's been played by Michael Caine Yeah, Bricktop. Bricktop, for sure. No thanks, Turkish. I'm sweet enough. He was no stranger to crime. In fact, actually, I think he's been played by Michael Caine. Oh. Oh, but more of a gentleman.

He was said to have moved in the same circles as some of London's most notorious criminals, including the infamous Kenneth Noy. Noy and Rita found an undercover police officer spying on them in the grounds of Noy's home. Noy stabbed the officer 11 times. They were both charged with murder, but Reader and Noy were acquitted of this crime after Reader claimed he wasn't there and Noy claimed he acted in self defense. So he's got like a pretty varied criminal past, Brian Reader. He'd been involved in a similar robbery in 1983, a crime for which he received an eight-year sentence for conspiracy to handle stolen goods. So he's now 76.

In his crew was Terry Perkins. No relation. No relation. 67, who was an extraordinary character, according to his friends. He'd served 22 years for his role in the 1983 Security Express robbery, which saw £6 million stolen, also over a long Easter weekend. It's interesting that it is the older fellas, because like you're saying, it's sort of a

dying art. Exactly. So, it's just they're still at it. This is what they're good at. Whereas the next generation- Yeah. Just doing cyber theft. Yeah.

From their homes. Oh, just doing cyber bullying instead. Lucrative industry i i just remember that i i had uh my bank hacked can happen to more than just mums can also happen to doofy boys hi doofy boy i've lost my phone i'm still not sure they they um they did it by like, I forget what they call it, but they basically stole my phone number, not my phone. And my phone just stopped working. And I'm like, what's going on here?

But it turned out that they'd somehow taken my phone. Oh, wow. They like ported your number or something. Ported my number. Yeah, yeah. And then they used that to get into the bank account. See, all of that jargon means nothing to these seven-year-old men. They have no idea what you're talking about.

Michael Caine doesn't know. Yeah, Michael Caine's like, yeah, I'll port the money. That's not how it sounds, Dave. I'll port your money. Oh, yeah, Michael Caine. My name is Michael Caine. I'll port your money. And I'll hand it to you.

Quick, quick stat. No, thanks, Turkish. Sweet. Enough. Come with the recasting. God, we're good. God, he was good. Yeah. Yeah, they do the old school God, we're good. God, he was good. Yeah.

Yeah, they do the old school port, which is, you know, a bit of dynamite tied to a bit of iron, get the mini in there, pull it off. Yep. And then celebrate with a glass of port. Exactly. That's right. Yeah.

Simple. Simple. The good old days of crime. So, Terry Perkins, he'd escaped from prison in 1995 and was at large until 2012. That's a- You never hear him getting away for that long. That long.

Then he was recaptured back to prison and he was released from prison not long before the heist in Hatton Garden. The gang also included veteran criminal John Collins, 74, who had a rap sheet going back over 50 years. Another older man. Yeah, they're all old. Is this called The Old Man Robbery? Pretty much, yes.

But it has been made into a film? A few films. Who else is it? I think I've seen a preview for An Old Man Robbery. Michael Caine and maybe- Yeah. I can't remember what it's called. I've got it at the end.

I can't remember what it's called. Joe Pesci, is he there? No, not Joe Pesci. Jim Broadbent's in it. Maybe Morgan Freeman? King of Thieves is what it's called. Joe Pesci. See there? No, not Joe Pesci. Jim Broadbent's in it. Maybe Morgan Freeman. King of Thieves is what it's called. Morgan Freeman's in Old Man Movies. I'm thinking of a different Old Man Movie.

You're thinking of a different Old Man Movie. With Joe Pesci. I know one with Joe Pesci. They Go Fishing or something. No, that's a different one again. That's the one with the guy from Lethal Weapon. Doesn't matter. Yeah, but you've both got your laptops out now.

Grumpy Old Men. So you're both Googling movie titles. Okay. I don't think I'm keen if they exist to see. Things that aren't. I'm not familiar with it, but I'd like to see it. Yeah, I wanted to watch it. I don't think it was on any of the streaming services I have,

or maybe I could rent it. Anyway, but I didn't watch it because I don't want to watch it beforehand and then be like, and then this happened, but it's got nothing to do with it. Oh, yeah. And then Michael Gambon walked in. Yeah, exactly. Dumbledore's in it.

Oh. Anyway. The dead Dumbledore or the walked in. Yeah, exactly. Dumbledore's in it. Oh. Anyway. The dead Dumbledore or the live Dumbledore? The live Dumbledore. That makes sense. Yeah, this is not what I was thinking. Joe Pesci's nowhere near it. I wonder what you were thinking.

So we've got John Collins from a great article from Vanity Fair. This is how he describes John Collins. He was a classic London villain, a dodgy but elegant figure in the streets of London with his beloved staffy Dempsey nipping at his heels. His legitimate business was high-volume fireworks importation. That's great cover. It's almost weapons adjacent. In fact, he was a walking pawn shop.

He'd buy cars, expensive watches and sell it back to you later, said a friend. Diabetes had exiled him into semi-retirement and he was reportedly growing deafer and more forgetful by the day, which is only worth adding because it, again, just adds to this image of just these old men robbing a bank. That's something kind of fun and cute about it. Just to stop the people yelling at their iPods, the one I was talking about was Going In Style, a 2017 American heist drama comedy film with Michael Caine

and Morgan Freeman. And I'm pretty sure King of Thieves was like 2018 or something. Right. So Michael Caine's just backing them up. Yeah. Heisting it up. Heisting it up. So that was John Collins.

His nephew, William Lincoln, was the getaway driver who was said to have had a major role in the movement of the goods after the heist. He conveniently left the country two days after the heist and told the judge at the trial that he thought the bags his uncle had given him were just bric-a-brac. Oh, I didn't know it had gold and jewels in it. I thought he was just giving me little knick-knacks, bric-a-brac,

you know, uncles, am I right? Yeah, they love junk. They love junk. They love junk. Elderly uncles. They love giving it to you to take on holiday episodes. We also had DannyJones58, described by friends as a gentleman who liked to laugh and a joke, who had burglary convictions going back to 1975.

One friend said he was eccentric to the extreme and a bit of a Walter Mitty, obsessed with palm reading and known to sleep in his mum's the extreme and a bit of a Walter Mitty, obsessed with palm reading and known to sleep in his mum's dressing gown and a fez. Fez is not a good sleep You'd have to sit upright. He's sleeping in an armchair. Of all the hats, that doesn't have a

nice tight fit. What's the best sleep hat? Well, probably a sleep hat. Yeah, one of them you know, like a Santa hat. Captain Snooze. Ebony screws top. What's the point of those? Just to keep your ears warm or something? Yeah, one of them, you know, like- Yeah, like a Santa hat. Captain Snooze or- Ebenezer Scrooge style. What is the point of those? Just to keep your ears warm or something? Yeah, I was wondering about that recently because I saw a movie where-

It was a recent movie and the guy in it was wearing, like, one of them Ebenezer Scrooge style nightie sleep dresses. I'm like, when do they go out of fashion? They're fantastic. Do you want one? But the hats, I guess it's to- Keep your head warm. keep your head warm i feel like my head to get too hot yeah i can't sleep in anything but we don't live in really

cold climate but when you're in an old scrooge and you don't want to keep the fire burning you've got a cold house you gotta keep your head head warm you can't sleep in anything oh no in a bed i can't i can sleep in anything i should say but I just get to- I sleep- I run hot. Yeah. But apparently- Is this true that men run hotter than women? Have you found that? I am the hot one. Okay.

So, that's- Oh, that's not true. Aidan will sleep in, like, tracksuit pants and a jumper and have the blankets right up around him. But to touch, he is scorching hot. Oh, he just likes- He likes it. Whereas I'm like, it's slightly warm.

Get this blanket off me. Someone told me recently it was a man and woman. Well, it doesn't sound like a Jess. Well, no, but he does run hot, but he seems to like it. But yeah, I think that's true. I believe so. But, you know. But this guy's wearing a dressing gown.

I'm one of the boys. Yeah. I run hot like the boys. Dressing gown and affairs. And affairs. Incredible combo. Bit of an eccentric. He does sound cool. His the boys. Dressing gown and a fez. And a fez. Incredible combo. Bit of an eccentric. He does sound cool.

His mum's dressing gown. What does that mean? I reckon she's probably dead. Okay. So, he's just trying to stay close to his dead mum. Was it his dad's fez? Yeah. Just remembering his parents at bedtime.

Sleeping in his uncle's bed. Another co-conspirator was Carl Wood, also 58. He was involved in the planning. He isn't really one of our main characters, but he'll come up again. Right, do they call him the young guy? Because he's only 58. Yeah. All right, young man. Yeah, junior.

Junior. And then there was another man known only as Basil. A mystery man to police, theories were thrown around about him being a current or former police officer or potentially an insider of the building. But we don't know who Basil is. Or maybe a future police officer. Whoa. A current or past or future or never policeman.

Now, that's covering all bases. Four states of being. You are either currently a police officer, formerly a police officer, in the future a police officer, or never. Yeah. The heist. The men had begun looking at the Hatton Garden area in mid-February. They finalised the plot in the weeks leading up to the raid, often on a Friday night at the Castle Pub in Islington, North London.

So they're really keeping it on the down low then. They would just meet at the pub. All right, who's robbing this pub then, eh? This pub? I'm in bank. Oh, no. All right, lads, let's all get a table. We'll talk through our plans of robbing a bank.

You know, just really announcing it. Really, it sounds like it's addictive. Yeah. Like they've all, none of them can stay out of it. Well, and it's that classic, the same of the plots of all of and it's it's that classic the same of those plots of all these movies it's that classic like one last job kind of thing and it's like most of them have faced jail time for other crimes you'd think you'd you'd be like no i think i'm done but they're like one last job imagine yeah i guess you think you're 74 you either spend the last you

know five ten years of your life living in luxury or living in jail. Yeah. Take the risk. I don't know if it's worth the risk. I don't think so either. Because you also don't know if you only have like a couple of years left or you could have like 20. Right.

And then you're like, fuck. But if you go see the guy with the dressing gown and fez, he reads your palm. He tells, that's why he's there. Oh, he's the Walter Mitty type, isn't he? Yeah. I wouldn't have known what that meant until you said, he liked reading palms and stuff.

Now I'm like, oh, if I ever hear Walter Mitty again, I'll be like, oh, yeah, the palm reader. Bit of a kook, hey? Yeah. Bit of a daydreamer. Oh, and a kook. Right. In their research and planning,

several of them visited the building numerous times. They're like, what's it called? They're- Casing the joints. Casing. Thank you. I're like, what's it called? They're... Casing the joints. Casing, thank you. I was looking, in my head, I'm looking through the S words. Yes, a stakeout is absolutely right. Yeah, I guess so.

By March 12, Collins had been to Hutton Garden at least five times. It's believed the men may have posed as customers wanting a safety deposit box in the vault in order to get an idea of the layout and security of the vault. a safety deposit box in the vault in order to get an idea of the layout and security of the vault. Hello, we would like to look at a vault to put our diamonds in. That's what I would have done. Yeah.

Higher pitched voice. Hello. That's how the posh people sound. And what time do you lock the vault? Do you always lock or do you sometimes forget? And if you did forget, could you tell me? Could I have that key please no reason could you let me know and what's your middle name i don't know i did i don't know if i said this seriously but i heard and this may not

be true but the word posh sometimes you know they'll do these make up a story later for its origin but someone was saying that um it comes from when uh the best rooms on a ship in the olden days were the side that got more sun. And it was from America to England or something. And that would be port side outbound, starboard home. And that's where supposedly... But that sounds like that could be bullshit, but I'm not sure. I've heard that.

Oh, yeah, I've heard that too. But I don't know if it's true. Yeah. But who have you been hanging out with lately? You've heard that men run hot. You've heard about pot. Who have you been hanging out with? I was trying to think who was telling me.

Do you have other friends? The men run hot guy was saying that. I'm like, why is that? The men run hot guy. I can't remember who it was, but he was saying that he thinks it's because nerve endings are different in men and women or something. I'm like, that sounds scientific enough for me. Nerve endings. It's all about nerve endings. Okay. It sounds like, that sounds scientific enough for me. Nerve endings.

It's all about nerve endings. Okay. This sounds like a 3 a.m. conversation. Yeah, this could have been at the pub when I was talking about this new heist. Oh, my God, I've said too much. I don't know why. Nerve endings. Yeah.

I'm not sure. I don't know the answer. Well, you've flipped it all on its head. But I've agreed with you that the man is hot, but he doesn't seem to care. He is a hot man. He's a hot man. Oh, my God, he's a hot man.

Honestly, you are so hot to touch. Right. What are you doing? I like it. Okay, well, whatever. It's just self-saunering. Yeah. Sorry, they've staked it out. They're casing the joint. Been five times, which seems like the bare minimum to me. It's just self-saunering. Yeah. Sorry.

They've staked it out. They're casing the joint. Been five times, which seems like the bare minimum to me. You've got to go in there a few times, I reckon. They've been around a lot, yeah. Got to show your face. Yeah. That's just Collins, too. That's just one of them's been there five times.

The others have been around a bunch, too. Wearing different mustaches. Of course. Yeah. This is from The Guardian. By 31st of March, the gang was so brazen that they were not just wandering in and out of the eight-storey building but playing with the lift. Perkins was spotted in a small elevator in the building wearing blue overalls

and surrounded by tools and building equipment. So he's, like, figuring out the lift, how to disable it or whatever. I pressed number two and it takes me to the second floor. Okay. Is it the same with every single level? Making a note in a journal. Only one way to find out. All right, lads.

Here's the thing. Try to keep up. So you go in this magic box, yeah? They got three of the things. All of them do the same thing. You press a number and bobsity bobsity boop, you're on that level. No one knows how it works. This could be teleportation.

Is there a way we could teleport in there from the pub? How comfortable are we all using dark arts? Guessing that was the Dumbledore actor was playing that role. Yeah. I don't know. I haven't watched the film, but I'll let you know. He's a wizard who teaches Harry Potter. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Sorry. Hadn't seen that film. Dumbledore? A lot of this timeline that I've got for you next is based on a really great article in The Guardian written by Vikram Dodd in 2016. So, April 2nd, 8.25pm, John Collins parks a white van outside the building at 88 to 90 Hatton Garden.

Basil, wearing a red wig, opened the door of the building. I wasn't even wearing a wig, I thought it was going to be like jacket or something and then it was like Dave, there's nothing funny about red hair mate He's just laughing at the idea of someone Imagine. Matt looked at me like the fuck? Imagine choosing that I thought it was going to be

red hat, red jacket, red for some reason red beret even came into my head Red fez would be appropriate. Red wig, okay He was dressed up as Ronald McDonald reason red beret even came into my head these people are red fez so it'd be appropriate red wig okay he was dressed up as ronald mcdonald he opened the door of the building having gained codes for the door and a key so it's quite easy yeah can i have that having gotten to the building basil waited until a man in a neighboring business had left then with a black bin bag slung over his shoulder opened a fire escape door to the

building. So, he's inside, he's opened another door to let the others in. Brian Reeder, Terry Perkins, Daniel Jones and Carl Wood entered the building, unloading bags and tools along with two empty wheelie bins. They were wearing high-vis to look like workmen doing some kind of maintenance. Brian Reeder was also wearing stripy socks and a distinctive scarf, which feels like a bit of a silly move. Don't wear anything really distinctive and recognisable when doing a crime. Stripy socks and a scarf. Yeah.

He might get chilly. Yeah, you never know. And maybe is he maybe framing someone up? Like he's wearing, you know, someone around town is always wearing that scarf. Oh, Tom Baker. Tom Baker. He's wearing the Tom Baker scarf. He just forgot that Tom Baker doesn't have red hair, unfortunately. It's a different one. It's a different one. Oh, a different one. It's okay. Oh, yeah. He's dressed as Tom Baker scarf. He just forgot that Tom Baker doesn't have red hair, unfortunately. It's a different one.

It's a different one. Oh, a different one. It's okay. Yeah, he's dressed as Ronald, framing Ronald, and the other guy's dressed as Tom Baker, framing Tom Baker. Meanwhile, John Collins had obtained keys to a building across the road and was acting as a lookout for the heist. Apparently, though, according to some of the others, he just fell asleep.

But he was the lookout in a building across the street. They were communicating only with walkie-talkies so that their mobile phones wouldn't place them at the scene of the others, he just fell asleep. But he was the lookout in a building across the street. They were communicating only with walkie-talkies so that their mobile phones wouldn't place them at the scene of the crime later. Imagine being able to sleep in that scenario. Yeah, just have a kip. I'm just nodding off here. They're old. They sleep anywhere.

You put them in a comfy chair and they're out, you know? No, no, Grandpa. Yeah, one of them can sleep in a dressing gown in a bed. You are a few years off being able to just sleep anywhere. Yeah. Just nodding off. So, you know, you laugh, but- Yeah, eventually.

There he goes. Night-night, Grandpa. Imagine falling asleep whilst recording a podcast. That would be so funny. That'd be a bit brutal. I think the only good scenario is falling asleep during your own, because otherwise it's such a slap in the face to the other two, you know? Yeah.

I'd be like, what the fuck? I've worked on this. It took ages. So they got their walkie-talkies and they're chatting through those and they move swiftly into action. The vaults were deep underground and the gang were on, I think they were on the second floor. So one of the lifts was jammed.

Oh, no, they didn't know how to use it. No, they jammed it. Oh, okay. What's this emergency stop do? Oh, God damn it. Do we have to do the diagram again? Only press the numbers. And if you're feeling generous,

you hit the open button to keep it open for other people. They jammed the lift on the second floor and then went like down the stairs or in a different lift down to the ground floor, which meant that the lift shaft was open. So, that allowed them to use the lift shaft to descend down to the basement level where the safe deposit vault was. Basil disabled the alarm only partially, but enough so that he could cut the power to iron gates safeguarding the lobby to the entrance of the vault. So so these could now be pulled open and machinery brought through by the

gang the gang cut through a second iron gate and now faced a thick reinforced concrete wall this is from vanity fair as well now at last danny jones was able to apply what he'd spent so many nights studying on youtube it's like i've been watching James Bond movies in nine segments. I've got this. I'm going to do this. Anchoring the hilti drill to the floor and concrete wall and connecting it to a water hose for cooling and reducing the amount of dust,

they began boring through the concrete. Is this the YouTube video how to bore into a bank vault. Yeah, pretty much. The drill made only a quiet water splattering hum as it breached the concrete wall. Within two and a half hours, three overlapping circular holes had been cut through the concrete. It took them two and a half hours. The hole was about 50 centimetres deep, 25 centimetres high and 45 centimetres wide. So, it's pretty small.

Yeah, okay. Why is the depth and the height different? I think- Well, because it's how thick the wall is. Oh, yeah. I'm picturing it drilling down, drilling into a wall. Drilling straight across. I'm like, wait, the depth?

Do you know what- How does the hole go up? Do you know what depth is? I'm picturing- 50 the hole go up? Do you know what depth is? A vision. 50 centimetres into the concrete floor. And then I'm like, the hole also goes up. What, into the, they're drilled through the air? Matt's living in a two-dimensional world.

And it sounds pretty small, but it's like, I've seen a picture and it's three overlapping holes. So they must have like gone through once and then moved it across, gone through again. Right. So it's still, it's a tight squeeze. And so two of the men, police believe it was Basil and Danny Jones,

managed to crawl through the tiny hole and into the vault. This is why you've got to have some small team members. That's right. Ocean's Eleven proved that. Oh, yeah, the guy that does all the flips, the acrobat stuff. That's cool. There will genuinely be a reference to that exact character. Great.

All coming up. My God. Our house, when I was a kid, got robbed. My disc wind was stolen. I still haven't gotten over it. But I- Did you have a CD in it? I did, yeah.

I lost all my friends are on cds uh oh they had good taste then yeah uh my anima of the state cd great taste some uh my pantera albums yeah brutal brutal dick sandwich was gone and you can't that is now you know you can't get it anymore oh my god collector's item but um But the window that they smashed to get in, the hole was so small. Like, who's done this? And my theory was that they had a small helper monkey. So they smashed the window and then they'd send in this trained monkey to go and, you know, as into pop punk and groove metal.

And it couldn't have been that they could put a hand through and open the window that way? No, no, it wasn't that kind of window. Wow. It wasn't an openable window, yeah. And it was way away from a door or anything. So it was really just and shards of glass surrounding it. I mean, in a way, good on them.

Yeah, exactly. Hats off to them. Sounds impressive. I got a better CD player and better discman. Oh, great. Yeah, it had like, you know, shockproof or whatever and extra bass. It didn't jump? It didn't jump.

It always sucked. It'd move and it would go, like, sorry. This is going to be so confusing to some kids out there. To youths. Yeah. CDs were a way to play music back in the old days. Yeah, back in the day we used to have helper monkeys for our robberies. We now know that's cruel.

So, having somehow squeezed through the tiny hole they'd cut into the wall, they're basically at the back of the metal cabinets that house the safe deposit boxes. The cabinets were bolted to the floor and to the ceiling, making them incredibly sturdy. They had a jack with them, which they'd use to pry open the floor and to the ceiling, making them incredibly sturdy. They had a jack with them, which they'd use to pry open the steel doors to the lift, and it had a 10-tonne hydraulic ram. Don't ask me what any of this means. I don't understand it.

Oh, I need to ask you. I know exactly what it means. Yeah, me too. I watch the YouTube video. Their plan was to use the ram to push over the safety deposit boxes. Jack was the name of a ram. I get it. That's right.

So you get a jack and ram. Yep. Unfortunately for the gang, while attempting to push over the cabinets, the jack broke. The rest of the plan had gone- You've never jacked too hard. No. That is honestly a lesson.

People don't realise that, but you can jack too hard. And you can ram too hard as well. Yeah. And that's even worse. Yeah, you can snap that thing right in half. You've got to be careful when you're jacking and ramming. You can warm up. The rest of the plan had gone fairly smoothly,

and this was the first hurdle that had occurred. But that was all it took for Brian Reader, the leader of the gang, to bail. What? The leader? He was like, I'm out. Fuck this. He'd been, like, casing this joint for so long, and, yeah, was sort of, like, the alleged leader of this group,

and he's just like, fuck, the jack's broken, I'm out. And so he leaves. He's gone. Okay. He just walked home. I think, you know, sometimes you should cut your losses. Yeah. The rest of the gang tried to work out other ways

to get into the safe deposit box but eventually also left just after 8am, almost 12 hours after they'd arrived the night before. But remember, it's the Easter long weekend. Oh, they can go home and watch more YouTube videos. No one's back to work for another few days. They have time to have another crack. They could probably check out the Good Friday appeal. Yeah, make a donation.

Yeah. Reimburse themselves for that donation later, hopefully. Andrew Datto, if you do 10 push-ups, we'll make it $50. Also, some young people are confused by that. I think there'll be old people confused by that. So, they've got time to have another crack, and that's exactly what they do. So, on the Saturday, the 4th of April,

Danny Jones goes to a store called Machine Mart, and he buys a new pump and uses his own surname and address for the purchase. Otherwise, you're not going to get the warranty. Yeah. He was quite clever, though. He did use a different first initial, V, which was his partner's first initial. Great.

So, that night around 10 p.m., the gang goes back to Hatton Garden. And did the leader come back or has he just bailed? He's like- He's gone. He's gone. He's out. Wow. Okay.

Right. But everyone else has gone back? Yeah. Curious to see if he gets done for it. This time it's Danny Jones, Terry Perkins, Carl Wood, John Collins and Basil. Apparently at some point early in the evening, Carl Wood also decides to bail. He follows in Brian Reader's footsteps. He leaves.

Brian Reader the leader. I'm sorry. I didn't catch that before. Yeah, I mean, that's a good one. And I love that Basil's still involved because you said before that he's still mysterious. The cops aren't sure who he is. Mysterious Basil.

So the four remaining men break back into the building and found everything just as they'd left it a couple of nights prior. The second night, the gang used the jack as a ram to smash the metal cabinets over, and finally they were in. They were then able to pry open about 73 of the 550 safe deposit boxes taking everything they could i think originally the plan was that they would have several nights or you know like they'd they'd be able to do this across several nights and get everything but because of you know the issues they had they're just like let's just get what we can they still get open

73 of them the hall included jewelry gold bullion, cash, emeralds, sapphires, diamonds, luxury wristwatches and rings. Okay. Well, to summarise, what would you call it? Brickabrack? Brickabrack. Booty. Yeah. Okay.

They needed wheelie bins to stash the loot and took an hour to move their haul and equipment out. By 6.44am on Sunday, they'd left the scene. Straight to church. Straight to church for the 7am service. That's the one you want to be at. Up the back with a wheelie bin full of gold. We're not going to leave it in the car, am I? Imagine, and they've timed that perfectly because they can convert

that into discounted Easter eggs. Perfect. Monday morning. Monday morning. They're all marked down. Oh, my God, half price. If they're on the floor, they're out the door. Yeah, exactly.

You've got three times the buying power. Four times in some cases. That's the best best and that's what this is all about yeah cheap easter eggs which brings us to where we started 8 a.m on tuesday after a long weekend staff coming back to work and noticing that they've been burgled police were obviously immediately called and arrived at the scene to find dust debris and scattered safety deposit boxes power tools including an angle grinder the hilti drill and crowbars had been left behind, but the crooks had been smart enough to wipe the tools down as to leave no fingerprints. You've got to clean up after yourself.

Clean as you go. Important rule. This and other evidence, or lack thereof, led police to think they were probably dealing with experienced criminals. Police believe the crooks had purposely used bathrooms on different floors to the one that they were working on, again, as to not leave behind any, like, very clear evidence. Oh, DNA.

So, if you're going to go, you have to go upstairs. I mean, they're there for, like, 12-ish hours, you know. You're going to have to go. Older gentlemen. Yeah. So, they're probably going to go a bit. But that probably also means they're wearing nappies. Oh, that's true.

I mean, if they were smart, they would be. They're- Incontinence. Incontinence. But they're, like like big boy pants. They're cool man undies. But, yeah, like that would be smart to do that. Hughesy did that once.

He had to do that for a gig one time. What do you mean? To wear a nappy? Yeah, he wore an incontinence pants, I believe, because I'm sure I heard him tell that story somewhere. I think he was just, you know, he just loves to gig, and I think he was you know he just loves to gig and I think he had a like he was crook but he did it anyway

and he's like just in case or an incontinence pads in case he shat himself hope I'm not making that up okay great good thinking but also if you're so unwell that you're not going to be able to control shitting yourself, is it not also going to be quite obvious

to the audience when you're standing on stage grimacing? Oh, it's happening. Anyway, so I was at home with the family. How do you just keep talking normally through that? You don't. Your voice changes and people know you're shitting yourself. Well, you've just got to time it in a laugh or a pause break. As you stop for a drink of water and just...

Yeah, you really hope the laugh keeps carrying you. If it's not as funny as you think it is, they're going to hear it. That's horrendous. Don't do the gig. Anyway, no, good on you. So annoyingly for the police, there was very quickly quite a lot of pressure on them to solve the case and to do it quickly. Annoyingly. Well, the reason for this is that when Basil had partially disabled the alarms, the alarm had sent a warning to police who had ignored the warning.

So, they almost could have caught them, they they were like that's nothing so the robbery was also catching a lot of media attention and caught the imagination of the public when video footage was released newspapers nicknamed the criminals mr ginger mr strong mr montana the gent the tall man and the old man brutal to be the old man when they're all old they're all old come on i look that much older than them that's's rude. The gent would be great. The gent's a great one. Okay. What would you like? You'll obviously have Mr. Ginger.

Okay. I'm Mr. Strong. Yeah. I'm not tall, man. Mr. Montana, the gent, or the old man? Well, I think I'd like to be the gent. Yeah. You could probably be the gent.

No, Matt, you could be the gent. Oh, thank you. Okay. Matt's the gent. So, then you've got Mr. Ginger, Mr. Strong, Mr. Montana. No, I'm Mr. Strong. I'm probably Mr. Montana then, I think. Yeah. What, Matt's the gent. So then you've got Mr. Ginger, Mr. Strong, Mr. Montana. No, I'm Mr. Strong. I'm probably Mr. Montana then. Yeah.

What does that mean? Exactly. Is Montana like the American state? Yeah. That's where Yellowstone is set. Is he wearing like a big hat? Yeah, is he like a cowboy or something? I don't know where that comes from.

He might have been the one carrying the gun. Yeah, like, ooh, there's another gun. It was one of those crimes that people kind of rooted for. Like, no one was physically hurt, and it was a safe deposit place that was burgled, meaning the people who were robbed were also the mega wealthy. And it's also, it's one of the rare ones where there's not even, they're not even, like, traumatising any staff.

Yeah, you're right. Nobody was there. Yeah, out of all the crimes, I'm rooting for this old man. Exactly. From a different article written for The Guardian, this one's by Duncan Campbell. Imaginative theories were rife, as were movie references. A spectacular project crime planned in detail is much like a film script

with roughly the same chance of coming off. The headline of the Sunday Express on the 12th of April read, Police hunt pink panthers over jewel heist. The story suggested that the gem thieves may be part of the infamous Balkans-based Pink Panther Gang. By the 23rd of April, Ocean's Eleven was part of the equation.

The Daily Express asked, did gem gang use a contortionist? Speculating that there must have been someone similar to the Amazing Yen. That's awesome. The Daily Mirror reported that an expert had revealed how Mr. Big is likely to have hired elite thieves

From Eastern Europe and Israel To pull off the operation The BBC broadcast a documentary That included an interview with media gangster Dave Courtney who suggested That the stolen jewels might have already been smuggled Out of the country, stuffed up a racehorse's ass Okay

Are we trusting this media gangster? I do. That's, what a funny stab in the dark that is. And also to be broadcast on the BBC. Yeah. That's so fun. I like how some people were like, the cultural cringe there so much that they're like, well, none of us could have pulled this off.

Yeah, it must have been. Must have been someone from somewhere else. Exactly. Because English people certainly aren't able to pull off such a great height. And well, we would never. So, the police are pretty keen to nab the guilty criminals quickly, clean up the mess, save a bit of embarrassment. And because it's, yeah, it's caught the public's imagination.

Like I mentioned earlier, these criminals were old school and technology and security systems had improved quite a lot since these crooks had started out in their criminal careers, which means that police had a lot more resources to lean on to crack this case. They combed through CCTV footage from neighbouring buildings and around the area of the crime. They saw CCTV footage show the van pull up out the front of the burgled building, the van that they arrived in,

and that's when they were able to spot a white Mercedes parked out the front of the building half an hour before. This car belonged to John Collins, the one who'd been a lookout in the building across the street and who'd driven his own car to the crime scene. And then fallen asleep. Oh, boy. A quick search of the system told police that that car parked

out the front of the crime scene belonged to Collins, the man with 50-plus year criminal record. Oh, God. It's a coincidence. They're like, well, maybe it's worth looking into. So they bugged his car to see if he had anything to do with the crime or if this was just a strange coincidence. Very quickly, the bug revealed it was no coincidence.

Police were able to overhear conversations between the criminals, basically admitting to the crimes. And this helped lead to the rest of the gang. So then they're placing bugs in a few different cars and just like, you know, they're just incriminating themselves and each other by talking about it. Are they all just on the car phone? Yeah, because they can't track that.

And there's, like, excerpts of some of the stuff they've said. It's like, the biggest robbery in the fucking world we was on, they chuckle as they discuss how to dispose of the goods. The biggest Tom robbery in the fucking history of the world. Tom is jewellery. Much of their conversation is taken up with chastising Reader and Wood for withdrawing from the burglary at the last minute. Both as bad as a fucking other.

Bottle out at the last minute. Supposed to be a full-on face and this one you walk away from. So they're just incriminating themselves and others. One of the most hilariously ironic parts of their conversation that was captured was when police sirens can be heard in the background and one of them remarks to the other that he paid 900 quid for a gadget that you fit to the car that will let you know when police were within half a mile and he's bragging about this gadget while police are listening to their conversation like they knew not to take their mobile phones with them to the crime scene,

but then they still use their mobiles afterwards and talk to each other in the car, you know? And it's like, oh, nah, there's other ways you could be under surveillance. It sounds like the big mistake was just that what's-his-name drove his own car to the scene. Yeah, well, that's how they got on with it. And maybe they would have anyway but that was certainly a good a nice easy start for them i love this um part from duncan campbell in the guardian there's been much recent talk about whether the police should be required to have

degrees the same might be suggested for professional criminals who would be taught that apart from watching what they say in potentially bugged cars and abandoning their mobile phones on a daily basis they should also be careful what they search for online. After Jones was arrested, his computer indicated that he had been looking at drilling online and drill tech sites as far back as April 2012. And he had a book, Forensics for Dummies. That's the same book that the Hollywood Bandit had. Oh, yes.

Guys, come on. Well, the book promised that now everyone can get the lowdown on the science behind crime scene investigation. So he'd be looking up the drill and he had forensics for dummies. And he had a box set of CSI Miami. It was all pointing one way. I mean, get the book, read the book, sure, but don't keep the book after the crime.

Yeah. But, yeah, and book after the crime. Yeah. But, yeah, and also get a VPN. Yeah. Or- Wipe your search history. Does that do it? Yeah, but they're all- That does it, right?

But they're all old. They don't know that stuff. Get your nephew to do it. He doesn't realise he's actually tweeting all these things. He's not Googling them. How to drill in bank vault. Send. I mean, search.

Thank you, Google. The gang didn't fall for the temptation to spend their loot quickly. In fact, they didn't show off their newfound wealth at all and avoided changes in lifestyle that would attract suspicion. And they planned to sort of let the publicity die down a little bit. Great. So that's because that's old school. That's what you would have done in the past.

Yeah. Like they get the old stuff, but not the new stuff. It's amazing that they've had time to even do that, seeing as they've given themselves up. Yeah. Well, there's a really- Cops are still waiting for more evidence, or- Yeah, and there's a great chunk here from Vanity Fair,

which sort of goes into, like, the lengths that the police went to. So, the thieves were trailed by detectives, observed by lip readers, bugged for many days and nights in their cars and videotaped in their favourite bars. And the Flying Squad was astounded by what they heard. The Flying Squad's the branch of the police. Three of the thieves, Perkins, Jones and Collins, were recorded bragging about how they did the heist, what they stole, how they were going to dispose of the goods. The biggest robbery in the fucking world we was on, which is what I just said, said Terry Perkins in just one of many endlessly incriminating statements. Brian Reader was snared by the surveillance detectives

in one evening in May, a month after the heist, when the Flying Squad dispatched an operative with a hidden video camera to the Castle Pub where Reader sat. In his hat. It was in a hat. Please tell me it was in a hat. I don't know where it was. A very large hat.

Where Rita sat drinking with Perkins and Collins. In the middle of the pub, Perkins pantomimed for Rita the moment that Danny Jones and his 10-ton hydraulic pump knocked over the massive wall of safe deposit boxes to allow them entry into the vault. Boom, Perkins exclaimed, according to a lip reader who deciphered the conversation. Now, look, exclaimed, according to a lip reader, who deciphered the conversation. Now, look, as somebody with just, you know,

a tiny bit of lip reading experience, boom's a fairly clear one. Yeah. Especially with the accompanying gestures. I think we didn't necessarily need the lip reader on the case for that one. It feels like they were going to be found out eventually. Yeah. They're just being a little bit careless in the aftermath a little bit even though they're not they're getting cocky yeah they're they're cocky with telling the tale yeah they think they got away

with it and they're forgetting that they're in public places as they're having these conversations this is still from the vanity fair article according to johnson jamie day spent hours and hours transcribing recordings and unravelingvelling the East London dialect and slang. A lawyer at the trial compared the work of deciphering their conversations to the work done by Shakespearean scholars. So funny. Damning as these recordings were, it still wasn't enough to arrest. Really?

Yeah, so this is from one of the police. It's obviously good, said Paul Johnson, but you have to say to yourself, what would happen if we lost this evidence? We've still got to have a case without it. You've still got to work your way through everything else and make sure you've got enough to corroborate what they're saying. If you don't, they would have the option of saying that we're just a bunch of elderly fantasists who were talking a lot of old nonsense in the car.

So, we've got to prove that that's not the case they had to catch them with the goods right that's not enough for a warranty dig a warranty a warrant oh that's my nickname for warrants a warranty a warrantish or a full warrant no we can wait for clean water solutions Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow.

Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Death is in our air. This year's most anticipated series, FX's Shogun, only on Disney+. We live and we die. We control nothing beyond that. An epic saga based on the global best-selling novel by James Clavel.

To show your true heart is to risk your life. When I die here? You'll never leave Japan alive. FX's Shogun, a new original series streaming February 27th, exclusively on Disney+. 18 plus subscription required. T's and C's apply. So on 19th of May, six weeks after the heist,

it was decided the gang would gather all the loot. They'd sort of split it up and hidden it in various places so that if one person was caught, the entire hall wasn't lost. But they decided, you know, it's probably been enough time. Some of these publicities died down a little bit. So they make plans to meet at an address in Enfield. Potentially this was for the slaughter, which is what you call it when you're divvying up the loot.

This was the point where police chiefs decided to pounce with the suspects and their hall all in one place. 200 officers staged raids and the gang were arrested. 200? 200. 200. Well, I suppose there's quite a few of them. In total, there's like nine or ten people here.

There's a few others that are kind of co-conspirators and stuff like that. So it's a lot of people. Maybe they're like, we need to really outnumber them. Plus they don't carry guns, English cops, so, you know. Just got to wag their finger at them. None at all? Yeah.

Oh, and I think certain crews have them. But just like your beat cops. But I think your average cops don't. If I remember the bill correctly, they call in SO-19. Right. They're the ones who are allowed to have guns they call in SO19. Right. They're the ones who are allowed to have guns. Our cops have guns. Yeah.

Huh. They give guns to any cop here. Yeah. First day of the job. First day of the academy. Here's your gun. Don't lose it. Any questions?

We don't have time for questions. The trial was long. I won't go into the really tedious details. On the 9th of March, March 2016 at Woolwich Crown Court, three members of the gang, John Collins, Daniel Jones and Terry Perkins, having pled guilty to conspiracy to commit burglary, were each given a seven-year prison term. Carl Wood and William Lincoln were found guilty

of the same offence and also one count of conspiracy to conceal, convert or transfer criminal property. Lincoln was also given a seven-year sentence and Wood was sentenced to six years. The alleged ringleader, Brian Reader, who gave up the first hurdle, was sentenced to six years and three months. Still got him. And there was also another man, Hugh Doyle, and according to Wikipedia,

Doyle was found guilty of concealing, converting or transferring criminal property he was jailed for 21 months suspended for two years and he was also fined 367 pounds for his general criminal conduct in january 2018 i just liked the idea of a fine for just general criminal conduct miscellaneous okay you've just been a bit naughty yeah Yeah, okay. 367 pounds, thank you. How about the leader getting no discount for bailing? You'd think he'd be like- It was all conspiracy. I didn't actually do it.

And he got some of the- They still split the money with him. Really? He got some? Pretty sure. Okay, fair enough then. But what about Basil? Basil, the mysterious-

Mystery man. If he's a mystery man, you've got to think that maybe they never got him. Well, Basil's identity was a mystery for a little while. Oh! I just had a sip at the wrong time. I don't know if the mic- Spit take. Pit up that spit take.

Picked up that rip-do. Rip-do. Mystery for a while. For a while. For a while. For a while. Several articles written at the time talk about the mystery man, yet to be discovered.

But apparently police identified Basil by the end of November 2015, as in it's a similar kind of thing where you were just saying before, like, what if they- but that feels like they have enough evidence. They're pretty sure it's him, but they didn't have enough evidence. So he ends up sort of out loose for a lot longer than the others and the others obviously didn't rat on him no so but by the end of november 2015 around seven months after the crime occurred they were pretty sure they knew who basil was and basil was in fact 55 year old michael seed police had captured footage of john collins meeting up with

seed in the weeks following the crime but had no idea yet that he was involved. From the Daily Mail, Seed was uncovered as Basil from his walk after an expert podiatrist concluded that footage of the mystery criminal showed he had a particular habitual gait, an abnormality in his right leg. Dr. Gordon Burroughs said Seed walked a bit like Charlie Chaplin. He had an abduction of 19 degrees in both feet, which meant they turned outwards at a wider angle than normal. And in 1994, Seed had metal pins inserted in his femur

after a motorcycle accident left his right leg shattered. So his walk was a bit of a giveaway for him. Right. It helped them identify him. That's disappointing because I've got quite a specific gait. Yeah. Quite bouncy. Meaning to say that.

I think that I'd probably give the game away. Sorry about that. I'll have to skateboard in. Anyway. Can you skateboard? I could 20 years ago. Okay. Yeah, you can watch a YouTube video.

That should be right. How to skateboard. That's what gives me away. So, Seed was arrested in March of 2018, almost three years after the crime had occurred And apparently in that time he'd like Travelled overseas and the police were kind of Monitoring him the whole time but they didn't have enough

So they let him go And just kind of kept watching him for a while Until they had enough You'd think he'd probably move overseas All your mates would have been arrested Yeah, just go Go to Spain So it wasn't until March 2019 That Michael Seed was found guilty of burglary and conspiracy

to burgle and was sentenced to 10 years in prison. Whoa. He'd get more for staying loose. It was 10 years. Hanging loose. 10 years for burglary and eight for conspiracy to burgle, the two running concurrently. So. I mean, the best way to cop one a sentence is concurrent right yeah sort of like

so i got a free hit at one of these but what about the money what about what was the the word they use for jewels tom bric-a-brac yeah tom what about the tom well of haul, and remember estimates were anywhere from 14 to 30 to 300 million, four million pounds worth has been recovered. Four million. And although estimates say it's worth around 14 million, it could be a lot more. So a lot of that money's gone. Sick. Well, I guess Basil probably spent a fair bit of it over those three years.

In January 2018, a confiscation ruling at Woolwich Crown Court ruled that John Collins, Daniel Jones, Terry Perkins and Brian Reader must pay a total of $27.5 million or face another seven years in prison. Whoa. So, essentially pay it back or more jail time. I don't like that. I don't like that as a rule. I think if you are good at hiding stuff as a criminal,

all the better, you know, good luck. Would you say that to the person who stole your Discman? Yeah, because insurance got me a better one. Yeah. If I return it, would I have to return my one with anti-shock resistance or whatever? He's still using it. Your technology would have gone backwards.

Yeah, okay. Once you've had anti-shock, you can't go back. That makes you think. Have you heard? Gary Goldman's got this great bit about diskmans. Look it up. Do yourself a favour. I won't butcher it here now.

Just a little tease there. So, yeah, they're ordered to pay back. $25 million. So, do they just start like a Kickstarter or something? What do you do? You can't make that kind of money. Well, they're assuming like if they've only recovered $4 million. So, do they just start like a Kickstarter or something? What do you do? You can't make that kind of money. Well, they're assuming like if they've only recovered $4 million, these guys all have the money somehow in assets or-

How much longer will they do in time? Seven more years. How much money is your time worth? To me, seven years for $27 million, I'd take time in jail. Yeah. I'd go to jail for seven years to get $27 million. What would you do if you were in your late 70s? That's in total, not each.

Okay. Yeah, it shortens a little bit. Yeah, that's true. The clock's ticking. Yeah, they're all old. Well, Perkins actually passed away in prison in February 2018, just a week after this ruling. That'll show them.

I think he'd been unwell. In August of 2018, Daniel Jones had his sentence extended by six years and 287 days for failing to return $6.6 million. On the 1st of August 2019, Collins was sentenced to an additional 2,309 days for failing to comply. So basically none of them paid back any of the money. Jeez. I don't know if I like that they used days there.

I know. That was confusing. That's sort of like, you know, how they talk about babies' ages. Yeah. In weeks. Yeah. It's like, come on. Yeah.

Let's do it in years. Yeah. It's very confusing. Days? He's 32 months. Fuck off. What, are they going to start doing it in minutes now? At the point where they can tell you their own age,

let's stop with months. I'm 46 months. You know? So what does that mean? Are you at school? I don't know. Who are you? Who are you?

I'm Gregory. Yeah, if you could tell me your name and age, let's ditch the months. Aunty Jess, you don't remember me? I'm Gregory. Shut up, Gregory. Get Aunty Jess a sherry. Michael Seed was also ordered to pay back his share,

and it was estimated that he'd pocketed around 4.7 million. He paid back 50K, and even after the amount to pay back was dropped to $600,000, 600,000 pounds, from 4.7 million. They were like, all right, just give us 600. I like their bartering. He still didn't cough up the money. So, last year in 2022, he had an additional six years added to his sentence. Wow.

So, they're all like the ones that are alive are still in prison. The theft was described, like Dave said at the start, as the largest burglary in English history. And it's inspired numerous representations in film and TV. It's a subject of three films, Hat and Garden, The Heist in 2016, The Hat and Garden Job in 2017, and King of Thieves starring Michael Caine, Jim Broadbent, Michael Gambon. It looks like a lot of fun.

That was in 2018. Wow, so 16, 17, 18. Ridiculous. Yeah, how do you sustain an audience for one story? Yeah, true. And this is like, you know, in the couple of years after it Or it's still an active And especially for those earlier ones

Basil hadn't been caught Yeah, interesting Kind of interesting A little silver lining though I mean, that's the end of the story But just a little silver lining Some jewellers have claimed that the heist actually helped their business Due to increased publicity of the area.

Oh, that's great news. I think that's nice, isn't it? Glad the jewellers got a breakdown. So they saw an increase in money. So that's nice. But, yeah, there you go. That is the story of the Hatton Garden heist. So I just thought for people to picture what we're talking about,

what was the movie called again? King of Thieves. King of Thieves. King of Thieves. So, we had Brian Reader was Michael Caine. Terry Perkins was Jim Broadbent. Yep. John Kenny. Who's that?

He was Tom Courtney. John Collins, right. Danny Jones was played by Ray Winston. Michael Gambon was Billy the Fish. What's it with? I don't know. I don't know who Billy the Fish is.'s it with? I don't know. I don't know who Billy the Fish is. They added in, maybe they added in characters.

Billy the Fish Lincoln, sorry. Yeah, William Lincoln. I'm thinking that. But he was like the nephew of John Collins. Ah. I don't, do you? IRL. Oh, IRL.

Oh, I see. But they've also just made him another old man. Yeah. But yeah, there you go. Ray Winston. There you go. I'm keen to see the movie. Yeah, it looks like a bit of fun.

Michael Caine can't go wrong. Can't go wrong with a heist movie. Yeah. This is why I think maybe it's a fun idea for us to, after we finish phrasing the bar, congratulations to Brendan Fraser, by the way. Oh, my goodness. At the time of recording,

he's just won the Academy Award for Best Actor. And we can't help but feel like we played a pretty big part of that absolutely yeah and i'm i guess we're waiting for our thank you uh fruit basket from brendan by putting our monthly podcast behind a paywall yeah we have elevated that man back to the top that's right we i think we started the brennaissance i really do yeah, yeah, after we finish up that show, it could be a fun new movie podcast for us to do is movies based on doing on topics perhaps. Because I'd love to see King of Thieves.

Yeah, that'd be fun. I'd love to watch all three of those movies. That's probably going a bit too far for me. No, just pick one. Pick one per topic probably. Probably the better one. I can't believe there's three in three years. I know.

Well, I guess it's their version of Chopper. We've got so many different versions of Chopper, you know. Right. All those Melbourne underbelly guys. Well, that brings us to everyone's favourite section of the show. Jess, you know what this is. What is this all about? Who are we here to thank?

We are here to thank the glorious people who support us over on patreon.com forward slash do go on pod there's many levels there's many rewards you can get access to three bonus episodes um per month you can be in the facebook group the loveliest section of the internet oh my god so lovely get um early access to live shows and tickets and all that sort of good stuff um and help this show keep on running. And who can forget voting rights? They chose this topic. They did.

Very cool. Oh, yeah, this was like – it was – there was like one vote splitting the first and second. Really? And this is between hundreds and hundreds of votes. It's more, I think. That's incredible. It was wild. Did you go for like three was about seven votes more, I think. That's incredible. It was wild.

Did you go for like three different heists or three very different kinds of topics? No, they were all like, I think I put up four widely different topics. Yeah, cool. And of course, they chose a heist. They couldn't help themselves. Dave, are you keeping the heist run going next week? It's an adventure. Okay.

I like the heist of that. I guess if stealing hearts. I like the heist of that I guess Of stealing hearts Yeah Heart heist So yeah We spend about half an hour At the end of each week To just thank and appreciate

Some of our great supporters The first part of this We like to do Is for people who've signed up On the Sidney Scheinberg level Or at patreon.com Slash jigger on pod We do a section called

Fact, quote or question How's a jingle uh we do a section called fact quote or question has a jingle go something like this fact quote or question he always remembers the ding and she always remembers the thing and uh the way this one works is one of the we read out four of them and they've given us a fact a quote or a question or a brag or suggestion or many other things really and uh this week first up we've got phil bourgeois am i set or burgess that's got to be bourgeois i'm not even looking at written down it's got to be bourgeois bourgeois i don't know i don't do well with uh words and reading um and phil has given himself the title of Vice President of Vices and Precedents. Ooh.

And Phil's giving us a recipe. Okay, great. I've added a few more options in the drop-down menu for the submission form. And Phil writes, a weird drink recipe to share with you. Ooh, I don't think we've had a drink recipe before. I'm not sure that we have. Great. Jess, I wonder if you could use this later in the Triptych Club.

I won't. This was passed to me by my dad who picked it up from an A&W restaurant from his youth. A&W, if you don't know, was a drive-in style restaurant serving burgers, fries and root beer floats. Ooh, spiders. According to my dad, they briefly served a drink called a mad dog. I love this already. Love that. And this is what I'm sharing with you today.

Grab a pint glass or a glass beer stein, fill it half full with your favorite root beer, then fill the rest with your favorite orange soda. No, root beer. We don't hear too much about it. I always pictured it to be like ginger beer, but it's not, apparently. No, root beer. We don't know. Yeah, we don't know we have root beer here. I always pictured it to be like ginger beer, but it's not, apparently. It's something different. This is good enough to drink, but for a proper mad dog,

place a quarter dill pickle spear into the drink and stir briefly. Briefly? So, you've got half root beer, half orange soda, then- A pickle? A dill pickle spear. I was raised with this, so I may not be the fairest judge, but I genuinely think this is one of the best non-alcoholic drinks out there. Give it a try.

Okay. I'd be up for that. Yeah. When we go to America, we got to ask for a mad dog. Yeah. And I assume- Everyone will say- Confuse them.

Right away. Yeah. Thank I assume confused them. Right away. Yeah. Thank you, Phil. The next one comes from Tim Livingston, aka, at best, 10 litres of laughs. I think that's a reference to Who Knew It With Matt Stewart. On one episode, a question was, what was this comedian's stage name?

And one of them I said, 40 litres of laughs. That's great. that's really funny which i think yeah i think it was alexi and jack druce were on that episode and they said that it would be a good name for a festival show of mine one year i'm like i think that's a good one 40 liters of laughs it's that's either a coincidence or that's what he's referencing. Now, Tim has a fact writing, during the shout-outs on the Chippendales murders episode, Jess gave someone someone's dance act, for want of a better term, the name Lyndon B. Johnson. Dave, you won't remember this because you were getting ready for work while we were thanking our great patron supporters

because Jess and I really believe that it's worth our time to make them feel special. You see, this is work. Wait, what? You see it as a time to get ready for your- Yeah, that's right. I'm stretching right now. La, la, la.

Tim continues, well, you may not know that Johnson was possibly the sexiest of the US presidents. Why, you ask? Well, he apparently had gigantic testicles such that he needed custom-tailored pants. Wow. This sound clip gives you an idea. Love you guys.

Okay. Well, I don't know if I can play. I guess I can see if this... That took a twist that I was not expecting. I thought I was going to say people didn't realise that he was a dancer. I thought so too, that he was going to be nimble on his feet or something,

but no, he had very large testicles. Large balls. And that clip is a four minute 40 clip. They were saying there that that makes them the sexiest president? Yeah. Because of their large testicles. I've got to tell you, I'm a little confused by Tim's logic here. But a fact that I'm happy that I've learned.

Yeah. Happy to know it. Linda B. Johnson, big balls. The B's for big. The B's for balls. Should be Linda B.B. Johnson. Thank you, Tim. Yeah, it's confusing because it's not a big Johnson.

No. It's a big ball. Small Johnson, big balls. Small Johnson, big ball. That's honestly the- The worst combo. Yeah. You'd prefer it the other way around.

Just for aesthetics. Yeah. You know, the bigger the balls, you know, comparatively, it makes the Johnson look smaller. Yeah, actually, it's a regular-sized Johnson, but it looks small. You want small balls. They're really small. And then it makes everything else look bigger.

Yeah. Makes you think. Well, I can finally say that I've got something in common with Lyndon B. All right. Austin Horst up next. Big balls? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Austin Horst is up next. Okay. Something witty that references some obscure riff from several episodes ago. That's good stuff. Well played. Woo! And Austin has a question writing, Hey, guys, hope everyone is well.

It's been a bit since I submitted a fat quota question. I keep forgetting to throw one in. My question is, what have you been watching or binging lately? Now, Austin answers the question, as we always encourage the question askers to do, writing, I've been watching Felicity. I decided to give it a go after it came up on a recent episode of Phrasing the Bar. Yeah.

The episode of, it was called. Well, it had Kerry Russell in it. Kerry Russell and Harry Sinford. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I can't remember what it was called, but it was something like Extraordinary Measures. Yeah, that was it.

I think that was it. And I said, I want to watch Felicity. Yeah. And I watched the first episode and I was like, meh. And I thought it was Alias. So there you go. Austin also says, it's been pretty fun so far. I've also been re-watching Ted Lasso to get ready for season three.

Love the pod. Keep up the great work. Well, that was going to be my answer because at the time of recording, Ted Lasso has just came out last night. I haven't watched it yet. I'm going to watch it tonight and I'm excited about it. But I also wanted to do the same. I wanted to re-watch the first two

seasons, but I didn't. And so now I'm just going to go in blind, forgetting some stuff, hopefully remembering a lot. Yeah, you'll remember it. You'll pick it up. It's a good show. I'll end up watching that too. But lately, I've just gone back to Pennyworth,

the origin of Batman's Butler, which is basically like- You watch it in the bar? Yeah. It may as well be called Young Michael Caine because that's kind of- He's the Cockney version of Alfred Pennyworth. Right. And I've been watching Yellowstone. I watched the Wu-Tang Clan series and American Saga. Yeah, they're probably the three ones I've been watching Yellowstone I watched the Wu-Tang Clan series

And American Saga Yeah, they're probably the three ones I've been binging lately Over the last few days I've binged Andor, the Star Wars show Oh yeah, I love that Yeah, I've got two to go, loving it Nice Loving that Been watching Poker Face

Oh yeah, I've also been watching that Which I've been very much enjoying And slowly trying to catch up to Succession because the new season's out. We're starting to- Fucker! Yeah, I'm finally getting there. I'm finally getting there. And can I just say, what a fantastic impression.

I get it now. I love it. It's great. Great show. Yeah, I love that show. And also I've been watching a bit of Baywatch on that free. We talked about this on the podcast? I think so.

On air. I can't remember. I've told you both about it because it was my obsession for a while. I've managed to pull myself back slightly. But my TV comes with free digital channels and one of them plays Baywatch 24-7. And that was the channel that was on when he turned the TV on. And I'd always just get hooked because I'd be like, oh, watch something on one of the streaming services.

TV on, I'm sitting there with a toasted sandwich in hand. 45 minutes later, I finished the episode. Yeah, but not the toasted sandwich. No. He's a slow eater. I haven't watched a lot of it. I think I watched some of it back in the day, but it feels like it's probably comfort TV.

Yeah, so easy to watch. Yeah. Yeah. I love shows with sunshine. Anything set in California. Yeah, and every, and I'm not kidding, every episode has a montage that doesn't need to be there of sexy people to music.

They're just, and it's like a full two minutes. They're just like, obviously we're short every week. It's amazing. That's what Yellowstone does the same, only it's horse riders. And they're doing these horse tricks. One of them is that the horse runs real fast and then drops its back legs to skid and they just show it so much like oh we get it

we get it it'll be fine if the episode was 40 seconds all these all these horses spinning around and they're they're just these long montages and then someone oh, now that is a great horse. Like, yeah, yeah, it's great. We've seen this. I get it. They're great horses. It spins around. It skids.

So weird. I'm saying the same thing. We get it. The people, they're sexy on the beach. We get it. The horses, they're sexy. Exactly. Get back to the jet ski accident. Yeah, and I feel the same, but it's like streaming services

don't have a time to fill. No, exactly. They had to fill it back in the day. You don't need to anymore. Oh, yeah. Thank you very much, Austin, for that question. No one else had any binging things? We've said our pieces.

Yeah, we had a few there. As we went lifted on, I'm like, I've been watching too much TV lately. Yeah, I've got nothing going on at the moment. Just writing a few there. As we went lifted, I'm like, I've been watching too much TV lately. Yeah, I've got nothing going on at the moment. Just writing a festival show. I mean, yeah, come, buy tickets. Finally, from Ryan Butterfield, a.k.a. Senior Chief Submariner. Ryan is Butterfield. And Ryan's got a suggestion.

So, we've got four different ones this week. Recipe, fact, question, suggestion. Ryan writes, go listen to We are marvel with justin and jeremy where they discuss the marvel cinematic universe available wherever you listen to podcasts and uh final question here any update on the u.s tour well the short answer is no no no Unfortunately. I mean, we're still in our conversation with our amazing contact over there, producer. And he's had meetings with lawyers. And yeah, still hopefully going to happen. Fingers crossed. At some point.

Yes. I think that's safe to say. Yeah, that it hopefully will happen at some point. At some point. Yes. I think that's safe to say. Yeah, that it hopefully will happen at some point. At some point. Yep. And we're sorry that it's taken so freaking long. Thank you very much, Ryan, Austin, Tim and Phil. Tom and Fol.

Tom and Fol. From the hit New Zealand radio show. That old Tony Martin sketch, remember that? Hello, Tom. Hello, Fol. Hello, Fol. Hello, Tom. And then they did it that one week.

They did a prank call to the Muslim Persons Agency. Jesus Christ. Hi, I'd like to report a Muslim pair of jandals. We've just lost our entire New Zealand audience. No, but the guy does it. The guy does it. It's a Kiwi, so it's okay. And are you?

No, I'm not, but I'm doing- Yeah, exactly. Okay. You're part of the problem. Sorry, that's a bit of a Muslim understanding. This is a Muslim person's agency, whereas a jandal is a comfy bit of footwear. It's fucking so good.

All right. The next thing we like to do is shout out to a few of our other great patron supporters. Jess, you know I'm going to come up with a game. Yeah, I'm thinking like their nickname. It's got to be. Tall boy and all that nah oh so good all right if you're watching them on cctv what are you gonna call exactly right that's fantastic not watching them on cctv trying to figure out who they are you know not a creepy way not a creepy way but you see them do a crime you

go like okay that's uh i'm gonna call this guy the bin man oh my god don't burn too many okay all right first up i'd love to thank from Reno in Nevada in the United States. It's Morgan Bell. Oh, the biggest little city in the world. Morgan Bell is the Pied Piper. That's good. Yeah, that's real good. Because he wears one of those funny little hats and has a pipe.

And has a pipe and looks like he's pying along. Yeah. Thank you so much, Morgan. I'd also love to thank- Ooh, from Address Unknown. Ooh. We can only assume from somewhere deep within the Fortress of the Moles, it's Mick McCaffrey.

The Mole Man. The Mole Man. He's a- He digs. He's the digger. Yeah. So, he's the tunnel- He tunnels.

Yep. And his holes are both deep and high because they go into the wall, obviously, and everyone would be able to figure that out. And if you couldn't, what's wrong with you? Mick the Mole Man McCaffrey. I reckon Mick might take that on. That's great. Yeah, that works.

Triple M. Triple M. On your Mick. And finally from me, I'd love to thank from Hamilton in Ohio, God's country itself. Man, I can't believe that people in Ohio listen to our silly little show, but I really appreciate that they do. I'd love to thank Jonathan Peelman.

Oh, that's great. What about Slick Rick? Oh. Got a slick back hair? Oh, yeah. And they're like, that got slick. Slick. That's Slick Rick. That's Slick Rick. And then they hair? Oh, yeah. And they're like, that got slick. Slick. That's Slick Rick.

That's Slick Rick. And then they find out his name's Jonathan and they're like, oh. I like Slick Rick. Yeah, Slick Rick's a good name. Can we call you Rick? Can we call you the Peel Man? Because that's cool. Rick Peel Man.

That's better. Slick Rick Peel Man. Banana Boy. Jess, do you want to thank a few of our great supporters? No, hey, how about Dave? Yeah, I'll take it from here. Jess has a very big yawn. I thought I could recover from that.

She's going to sleep on the job. It was a comical yawn. I would like to thank from Reid in the Australian Capital Territory. It's Emma Drumgold. What a name. Love that name, Emma. Emma Drumgold. Emma Drumgold.

I'm going to call her, what do you call a brick of gold again? A bullion? The bullion. Is that what a brick of gold is called or a bar you weren't looking for the word bar were you no i think i was looking for bullion i reckon the bullion's good the bullion love that a lot it's got a glimmer about it yeah emma the bullion drum gold love that this is probably because she's got gold in her name but still i stand by it I would also like to thank from Provo in Utah. Give me two. I would like to thank- This is maybe the first we've ever had a whole family here, it looks like.

Lauren, Joe, and Griffin Gibb. Oh, the Bee Gees. Yeah, you got to call them the Bee Gees. Oh, perfect. They're the Bee Gees. That's perfect. I've been listening to the Bee Gees a lot this week, and they're so good. They're great.

I just used to think they were kind of fun and silly, but now I'm like, jeez, how many great songs have they written? I know. It's a bit like ABBA. A bunch of different genres, and I only just found this out. They wrote Islands in the Stream. They wrote it? They wrote it.

Really? Yeah. I love a band who writes a bunch of hits for themselves, but also has spares to give away to other artists. It's like handball it off to someone else. You can do that. Handball it off to a little artist like Dolly Parton. Yeah.

Who also writes hits for herself and others. She's prolific. I think, yeah, because I was thinking that too. I'm like, Dolly wouldn't, she wouldn't have needed someone to write it. And it was for Kenny. It was on Kenny Rogers' album, I think. Right. She was the guest on it.

But, gee, she made it her her own I'll tell you that much jeez these guys and did you know what it references Islands in the Stream? Pissing? Apparently it's an Ernest Hemingway title oh there you go or some other writer or some famous writer I'll look that up while

you're coming up with a name or we're calling them the Bee Gees that's good stuff I'll look that up while you're coming up with a name. Oh, we're calling them the Bee Gees. The Bee Gees. That's good stuff. I'm Blaringe, I'm angry at you. He's so good at learning words. I've been thinking of that song a bit because talking about, what's the line?

By the way I walk. And that guy's gay. Oh, yeah. Yes. That kept ringing through my head when you were saying that. That's funny. And going nowhere. And finally, I would like to thank, well, finally for me, from Kennerbunk in Maine.

Oh. Great to have some listeners all the way out in Maine. I would like to thank Papa Kielbasa, a.k.a. The, and then it ends. Wow. Papa Kielbasa, a.k.a. The. We'll never know. Also known as, that's exciting, Papa Kielbasa. Papa Kielbasa, aka The. We'll never know.

Also known as. That's exciting. Papa Kielbasa. Papa Kielbasa. What about the human salsa? Oh, my goodness. I don't know. Were you thinking the dance move or the.

I was thinking the dip. The dip. Hell, yeah. The human salsa. Love that. You know, because it looks. The dip, the dance move. The human salsa, you that. You know, because it looks- The dip? The dance move? The human salsa, you know, because it's a great addition.

Yep. But it also can be a little spicy if you're not careful with the papa kielbasa, aka the human salsa. Wow. Yeah. Are we talking medium heat? That's my maximum. Maximum is medium.

Maximum is medium. Yeah. My God. I love maximum. You're crazy. You're crazy. It looks like, you know, we're talking about LBJ's my maximum. Maximum is medium. Maximum is medium. Yeah. My God. About maximum, you're crazy. You're crazy. It looks like, you know, we were talking about LBJ's balls before. This video, I think it's supposedly it's a real phone call,

and in it he's ordering pants. And he says, this is a real recording from August 9th, 1964, where he's ordering Hagar pants, and he's asked where the zipper ends. And he says, down where my nuts hang. And then he burps and says, back to my bunghole. That can't be real. Back to my bunghole. That can't be real. That's Beavis and Buffett.

Back to my bunghole. Okay. Well, I'm glad we got to the bottom. Back to my bunghole. Okay. Well, I'm glad we got to the bottom of that, the bunghole of that. In this photo, he looks like your dad. He does look a bit like my dad. Okay. Can you picture your dad saying something like that? Not far off.

Back to my bunghole. Anyway, back to my bunghole. Enough about that. Let's get back to my bunghole. Enough about that. Let's get back to my bunghole. I feel like that's going to be another one of those things that just enters the Do Go On vernacular. Back to my bunghole. Much like, now watch this drive. US presidents.

Yeah, they're ripe for comedy. So much gold. May I thank some people? I'd love it if you did. I would love to thank, from Bradley, West Virginia, Joshua Wilson. Oh, Joshua Wilson. The Mini Cooper. Oh, yeah.

For Bradley Cooper. Yeah, and he's also the, I guess he's the driver. The driver. He's the stick man. Oh, yeah. Is that what the stick man is? Sure. Yeah.

I don't know. It's also, that's the logo of the Saints. Oh, yeah. So is the, he named the? Sure. Yeah. I don't know. It's also the logo of the Saints. Oh, yeah. So is the nickname the stick man? No, it's the Mini Cooper. Mini Cooper. Great. But he's got an alternative nickname.

Yeah. I would also love to thank, from Milton Keynes in Great Britain, Richie Bolton. Richie Bolton. That sounds like- Thunder. Thunder. That sounds like, yeah, like a mover and a shaker

I'm Richie Bolton Johnny Thunder Richie Bolton, you may know me as Johnny Thunder But the cops find out his real name is Richie Bolton They go, happy with that That's actually pretty good That's such a good name And finally, to bring it all home

I would love to thank from Winterport What's ME? Oh, we're back in Maine. That's Maine again. It is too. Winterport in Maine, Amy C. Amy C. The Top Hat.

Oh, that's good. That is good. Based on? She wears like these sort of special socks that have little pictures of Top Hat on them. That's actually really cute. That's so cute. The Top Hat. Great to have a couple of this is out in Maine.

Yeah. All the way out east. Where one of our famous episodes, I don't know why I said famous, one of our episodes was set, the one about the stranger of North Pond. That's right. Now, that's the reason why I know where Maine is, which is like right up northeast. Great to have you all on board out in Maine. Thank you so much to Amy, Richie, Joshua, Papa, Lauren, Joe, Griffin,

Emma, Jonathan, Mick, and Morgan. And last but not least, we need to welcome in some Triptych Club members. How does the Triptych Club work again, Dave? Well, these people have been on the shout-out level or above for three consecutive years. They've already had their shout-out. But to say thank you again, we shout them out this time, putting them into our club slash hall of fame slash establishment slash hangout place. It's a real theatre of the mind type thing.

We've got a bar where everyone has already been in the club, is hanging out. We have musical guests. We have food. We have drinks. And we also hype them up on their way in. Jess usually comes up with a cocktail and or a bit of food that we're serving weekly.

I've got a cocktail called The Governor and I'm serving it in a shoe. I love it. I've also – well, now that we had one of the fat quotes or questions as a recipe i will i will add the mad dog to it um but again i will serve that in a shoe you've just got a surplus of shoes i bought a lot of shoes you just did a job where you thought you were stealing diamonds yeah open all the boxes it's all shoes it's all shoes. It's all shoes. Well, to be fair, I did rob a shoe factory. I don't know what I was thinking. Honestly, stop.

Like, you shouldn't be letting me out. Who knows what I'll do. Dave, you normally book a band for the after party? Yeah, this week. You're never going to believe it. I have booked an incredible band with a back catalogue of hits as long as your arm. We've got Madness dropping by. Whoa.

And we'll be opening with their song, Michael Caine. My name is Michael Caine. Great song. Love that song. Love that song. Love that band. And from there on, you know, the hits just keep coming. Do you like how I just said it in my voice?

Yeah. You put your own spin on it. My name is Michael Caine. There it is. Great. Well, we've got a record amount of inductees this week. Dave, are you ready? Thank you so much to all these people for sticking with us for three years,

and I will try and hype you up. So if people want to picture it, I'm on the door. I've got a clipboard. I've got a list of names, inductees. I'm going to read your names out. I'm going to lift a velvet rope, welcome you in. Dave's on the stage. He's emceeing the evening. He's going to hype you up as you come in. All the other past inductees are around, chanting along, having a great time. Jess is behind the bar, but she's also behind the Dave,

and she is patting him on the bum, hyping up the hype man. All right. So, if we're ready to go, Dave, you feeling ready? I'm feeling ready Let's rock Alright first up I'd love to welcome in From Perth In Western Australia It's Deanne

Deanne I'm Flea-anne With Deanne I thought you were going to say Diane I was going to say I'm Fly-anne With Diane You're stuck with it anyway Flea-anne

Diane or Deanne Welcome in Deanne I'm a fan That's what I would have said Yeah I'd also love to thank From Hawthorne East in Victoria, Australia, it's Eliza Knox.

I would never Knox this, Eliza. No. I would only praise them. Please, make yourself at home. From Newport in Great Britain, it's Tom Tithecott-John. Newport, give me two. Tom, Tithecott-John. From Killarney Heights in New South Wales, Australia, it's Brianna.

This night is hitting new Killarney Heights. Yes. With Brianna. From Collaroy in New South Wales, Australia, it's Aaron Hoorigan. I didn't know you were going to say that. Would you say that, ourigan? No, Hoorigan. Hoorigan, doerigan.

Aaron, you're my boorigan. Okay. Woo! Keep it going, Matty, yes. From Overstrand in Norfolk in Great Britain It's Eleanor Hesine I feel like this night was going to be Understrand But now it's Overstrand We're a capacity of strand

From London in Great Britain It's Sheehan Sheehan great to see him From South Bend in Indiana in the United States It's Carlehan. Sheehan, great to see him. Woo! From South Bend in Indiana in the United States, it's Carl D. Brownell. Brownell. Brownell, I never frown-ell when I see Kyle. From Ride in New South Wales, Australia, it's Rhianna Neal.

Well, this night is going for a ride with Rhianna Neal. From Croydon Hills, Victoria, Australia, it's Emma and Matt. Emma and Matt, more like Dilemma and Cat. From Liverpool in Great Britain, it's Jay Johnson. You can call him Jay or you can call him Johnson. You can call him Jay Johnson. It's Jay Johnson. How does he do it?

From Mitcham in Victoria, Australia, it's Dan Marshall. The Marshall of fun is here, by which I mean Dan. Yeah. From address unknown, I can only assume from deep within the fortress of the moles, it's Judah. Judah. We've never done so many, I feel overwhelmed Judah You are

Truda Me Trudamy Trudamy Judamy Judamy From Stalbridge, your great friend How simple

Claire Johnson We're only halfway Claire Johnson I thought're only halfway. Claire Johnson. I thought I couldn't bear this night, but now I'm going to Claire this night. And I'm going to declare this night Claire Johnson night. Bassing Stoke in Great Britain, it's John Coutier. John Coutier. Or John Coutelier. Oh, let's go with Coutier. John Coutier.

Or John Coutelier. Oh, let's go with Coutier. This knight couldn't get any more beautier. This kind of sounds like beautiful, I guess. Also from Agnes, unknown, probably from deep within the fortress of the moles, it's Kyle Williams. Kyle Williams. This guy's got style. More like style Williams.

Yeah, got it. Also from deep within the fortress of the moles, it's Hayden Little. Nothing little about this personality. Big balls. Yeah, too big. To the bunghole. Back to the bunghole. Back to the bunghole.

Whenever we're off topic, back to the bunghole. That's the new pod. Not Dougal. It's back to the bunghole. From Hopkins in maybe Minnesota in the United States, it's Jacob. The world's best Hopkins. And I'm not talking about Sir Anthony. I'm talking about Jacob from Hopkins.

From Edmond in Oklahoma in the United States, it's Jason Wells. Well, this night was going badly, but now it's going well. Jason Wells. From Brighton in the United States. Am I, Dev? Michigan? Michigan, maybe. It's Glenn Sims.

Glenn Sims. I would give this person 10. What runs the Sims that isn't weird? Bins. 10. Yeah, I'd give Glenn 10 bins. Full of money. Yeah, yeah. Full of exactly wheelie bins. Wheel ten bins Full of money Yeah, yeah, full of

Exactly, wheelie bins Yes, wheelie bins full of cash Back to the episode This is good, keep it going From Smitesdale in Victoria, Australia It's Nicola Loader Well, load her up, Nicola's here Yep

From Macclesfield in Great Britain It's Rachel Hunt We're back in the hunt with Rachel From deep within the fortress of the moles It's Esther Esther We're back in the hunt With Rachel From deep within The fortress of the moles It's Esther Esther Haven't met anyone bester

From Indianapolis In Indiana United States It's Chancellor Duval Chancellor Duval Oh my god You know what I'm going to give this person

A third, fourth A fifth chance They're that good Wow Chancellor Duval From Seattle In Washington In the United States

It's Derek Kozak More like Derek Kodak moment They're that good Wow From Seattle in Washington in the United States It's Derek Kozak More like Derek Kodak moment Let's get a photo So beautiful Yes From deep within the fortress of the moles It's Jess

Jess It's probably the best Jess I've ever met How fucking dare you Also from mole land It's Mark Hutchinson It's definitely the best Mark I've ever met This person's hit the mark There it is

And finally from Tyler in Texas in the United States It's Jake Hanson Jake Hanson more like Jake Ham Hanson There it is Mop Jake Applause for Dave Watergate Well played there Dave I feel like my brain is on fire

Once again I'd love to thank Jake, Mark, Jess, Derek, Chancellor, Esther, Rachel, Nicola, Glenn, Jason, Jacob, Hayden, Kyle, John, Claire, Judah, Dan, Jay, Emma and Matt, Rhiannon, Kyle, Shane, Eleanor, Erin, Brianna, Tom, Eliza, Deanne. And Deanne. Deanne was the last one. Or Diane. Or Diane. Or Diane. Welcome all into the club. Make yourselves at home. Please grab a boot full of liquid from the bar.

I'm sorry about that. Enjoy a bit of madness. Oh, yeah. One step beyond. Can't wait. Taking requests? Absolutely, yeah. So good.

Can they do Up There Kazaley? Yeah. I'd like that. I'd love to hear Madness style Up There Kazaley. I'd love to hear Baggy Trousers. Let's put it on the list. All right, great. Anything we need to tell people before we head off?

You two. That we love them, that they can suggest a topic. There's a link in the show notes. It's also on our website, DoGoOnPod, where you can find all the info about live shows. You can find us on social media at DoGoOnPod. And that's it. Yeah.

Stick around for some possible outtakes after the song. We're all breaking, Dave. Boot at home. Thank you so much for listening. And until next time, also thank you and goodbye. Later. Bye. The cabinets were bolted to the floor and to the ceiling,

making them incredibly stirry. At least you caught yourself. I nearly didn't. On last week's episode, when I went through, I said some words wrong And I just deleted the sentences Because you just powered on Yeah

Let me try again The cabinets were bolted to the floor And to the ceiling We've got to put this At the end of the episode AJ we need it This is blooper section Jeff loves a blooper section

I do love bloopers. This is a secret track for sure. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves.

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