Do Go On - 390 - The Qantas Bomb Heist

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

On the 26th of May, 1971 Qantas received a phone call, there was a bomb on flight 755 from Sydney to London, if the plane dropped below 20,000 feet it would go off. Tune in to hear the story!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 00:06:11 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/Do Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-02-23/qantas-bomb-hoax-1971-the-great-plane-robbery-australia/10807510https://www.crimetraveller.org/2017/12/qantas-bomb-hoax-australias-greatest-heist/https://www.theage.com.au/national/from-the-archives-1971-qantas-pays-500-000-ransom-in-mid-air-bomb-hoax-20200522-p54vgz.htmlhttps://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/law-order/the-great-plane-robbery-of-1971/news-story/dcf347e76a448bfbafd1c3a1f36529dfhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-13Yg3Fiq8shttps://oa.anu.edu.au/obituary/selwyn-william-16909 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club, April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at dogo1pod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right. I'm doing shows with Saren Jayamana, who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February, Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattstuartcomedy.com.

We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Death is in our air. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. To show your true heart is to risk your life. When I die here, you'll never leave Japan alive. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On.

My name is Dave Warnke and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart in tow. I was going to say, if he doesn't say my name first, there's some serious bullshit going on. Would you have caused trouble? I would have flipped this table. I felt that. And it is bolted to the ground. It caused a ruckus. Yeah. You would have gone on the floor, pushed it over with your legs.

Yeah, and here's the thing, Dave. I know where you live. Well, I know where you used to live because it's burnt to the ground. Oh, my God, you burnt my home down. Don't worry, i got the dog out first i'm not a monster thank goodness i did not get your wife out i let her sleep she looked so peaceful i'll get you later anyway hello dave hello matt this might now seem inappropriate now that uh your wife's dead but how good is it to be alive? That's really rubbing it in, mate.

We're in the middle of Comedy Festival. It's my favourite time in Melbourne. I'd say maybe equal to December. I love Christmas time of year as well, but I'd say this is maybe even better than that. Comedy Christmas. The city is abuzz. Oh, yeah.

Oh, man, it's so good. I'm trying to get out and see some shows. I'm also trying to finish writing my show. It's a perfect combination. It's a wonderful wild time. What you should do is go to people's shows and sit there, not concentrating on them. Get my laptop out.

Yeah. Get some work done. Then you're doing both. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I mean, because I can't be like watching loud TikToks or anything. So, it's great because they're doing their show, good for them. But it's just really a 45, 50 minutes for me to focus.

Yeah. This is a bit of me time in the back row of your show. I've got headphones on. You're very distracting. Front row. Front row. Afterwards you say, thank you so much. I really enjoyed that writing session.

Yeah. I found that very productive. It was good to work with you today. There's a couple of lines we had. I've taken now as well. They're mine now. I'm going to need you to stop saying them or I will soon. That's why I'm so beloved in the comedy community.

You are. I'm just fun. Yeah, yeah. Dave, what is this show that we're doing? Well, this show that we're doing right now is a podcast where we take it in turns to report on a topic often suggested to us by one of the listeners. Whoever's turn it is goes away, does a bit of research, brings it back to the group. The other two listen, laugh, live, love, learn along with that person. And this week, the person is Matt Stewart.

Hey, how's it going? I'm a person. And the person always starts with a hey how's it going i'm a person and the person always starts with a question mr person do you have a question i do have a question and my question is this what does quantus stand for jess i'll give you first crack here queensland yes and yes feel free to buzz out at any time so it's n next. NT is next. Golden Territory? Yes. Oh, come on. Still feel

free to... So it's AS next, Jess? AS? Eh? Eh? Nope. Have you finished that word? No. No? Okay. Because you were on the right track. I wasn't sure if you were pausing in the middle of the word or not. No, I was just talking. Because if you'd finished the word, then you were wrong. No, instead the middle of the word or not No I was just talking Because if you finished the word then you were wrong No instead of saying you say air

Yeah I was just thinking Yeah Air Airplane Air Still hasn't finished the word technically But it's not helpful I know air is right

That's all he's given me No It's three more letters What But it's not helpful. I know air is right. That's all he's given me. No. It's three more letters. What? Airy. Aerial. Service.

No, it's with Jess. Aerial? Yes. And I'll take it from here. Service. Service. I'm sorry, Dave. Services. Yes, Jess, correct.

Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services. I win. A real team effort I win A real team effort there A real team effort I really thought that would have been one that you would have come up a lot with trivia nights and stuff Dave Unfortunately not No So are we doing History of Qantas? We're not doing the History of Qantas

This week's topic is the 1971 Qantas bomb heist. What? I can't believe I've never heard of this. I've never heard of this. We've had a bomb heist on our national carrier? Yeah. Isn't that wild? Well, they always promote themselves as being the safe one.

You know, never had a crash where we've lost anyone or something like that, but there was a bomb heist. They rarely put this in their ads. They've really swept that under the rug. You know, at the moment, or for the last couple of years you get on there it's like a hundred years of Qantas and then the the seat belt video and tells you how to put everything all the safety stuff is like going through the generations and it's like hi I'm a Qantas pilot from the 1960s and then the 1970s oh there's no smoking on this plane.

And no e-cigarettes or whatever they are. Yeah. Bit of fun. But yeah, they do not mention the 1970s bomb heist. Yeah, they should have done a scene where they're in the middle of it. I'm stressing out. There's a bomb on this plane somewhere and we don't know where it is. That's not the case on the plane you're on today, a Boeing 737.

It did happen once back here in the 70s and I'm freaking out. Oh, my God. So this was suggested by Clancy Greening from Sydney in Australia and also Richard from Nepal, now living in Bathurst. So he's moved from Mount Everest to Mount Panorama. One iconic peak to another. That's beautiful. From Tenzing Norgay to Brocky.

Brocky. A couple of kings right there. My back tattoo agrees. I've got Tenzing Nga and peter brocky all right let us begin on the 26th of may 1971 around 11 a.m the australian aviation authorities received a phone call telling them that there was a bomb on quantus flight 755 from Sydney to London via Hong Kong. The bomb would detonate if the plane dropped below a certain altitude. Oh, my God. It's like speed.

This is speed on a plane. It's like speed on a plane. It is speed on a plane only like 23 years before speed. Wow. It's obviously inspired speed. It's obviously inspired speed. Fuck, I love speed. What a great movie.

It's so good. I haven't seen it in years. Oh, man. Worth a rewatch. Yeah. Absolutely. It's so good. Within the last six months in years. Oh, man, worth a re-watch, yeah. Absolutely. Within the last six months I've given it a spin. Alan Ruck's in there. Alan Ruck.

Oh, darn. One of the all-time great Hollywood lines. I love a bit of Ruck action. Rock and roll. Yeah, and your podcast is going to start. Yeah, when we've gone through all the Brendan Fraser movies, we are thinking, what's next? Is it the ruck?

Is the ruck's time to shine? What the ruck? So, the plane had only taken off maybe about half an hour prior to this phone call. It was currently flying over the outback in the northwest of New South Wales. When asked who was calling, the reply came, call me Mr Brown.

Mate, all the colours are available. Yeah, and you go for brown? Call me Mr Poo. Call me Mr Beige. Better to be forgettable, I guess. Yeah, than poo coloured. So, for half a million dollars, which is around six and a half million in today's money,

he told the authorities he would reveal the bomb's exact location in the plane and explain how it could be diffused, sparing the lives of 116 passengers and 12 crew members on the flight. To prove he was serious, Mr Brown told them to look in Locker 84 at Sydney's Kingsford Smith International Airport. Police officers immediately went to inspect. According to Bridget Judd, writing for the ABC, inside the unassuming metal locker, police uncovered the unthinkable.

A present. For me! Thanks for everything that you do. Bouquet. Beautiful candle. bouquet beautiful candle and next to the candle was a bomb constructed of gelignite with an altimeter triggered detonator with it was a note saying we appreciate you we appreciate you but this is a bomb ps should the plane descend below 20 000 feet the bomb will explode if you don't pay or if you interfere in any way you will lose your plane

and this will be repeated the letter continued the instruction went through to pilot captain william selwyn to keep the plane at 35 000 feet they told him something was up the bomb you can't go under but they kept it pretty safe 35 000 feet when 20 000 was the right yeah right right right but the captain doesn't know about the bomb uh yeah he knew about the bomb and what they weren't just like hey i don't we don't want to freak him out uh yeah just keep it above 35 000 feet don't ask why don't worry about it just do not drop if you drop everyone will die but don't ask don't think too much about it. I don't want to freak you out. Because, I mean, pilots just in general, very, very skittish people, you know. Not great at like they haven't been trained in any kind of quick thinking, decision making, problem solving stuff.

So, if you give them one little scare of bad news, they are flustered. Yes. And this guy had flown planes in World War II as well. Right. So, like, you just can't trust him to not just freak the fuck out and immediately plummet under 20. Yeah. Oh!

And just try to crash land immediately in outback New South Wales or open the door and jump out. Yeah. See you guys later. There's a slide. Go down the slide. We're still in the air. Down the slide! still in the air it's a fun way to die so they they see this bomb like they're starting to take the threat seriously and according to

judd the authorities sprang into action the replica bomb was diffused and the explosives were replaced with a light bulb there was only one way to test the veracity of Mr. Brown's claims, and that was to take the duplicate to the skies. The bomb was loaded on board a second Boeing 707. Oh, right. To test the altitude thing. Exactly. And then the plane climbed to 8,500 feet before beginning its precarious descent. When it dropped to 5,000 feet, the light bulb on the altitude activator came on. Had the explosives remained inside, the aircraft would have been blown to smithereens. Oh, my God. He is not bullshitting.

Yeah, exactly. So, they're like, all right. This is serious. This is serious. Mum. Yes. Sorry. I loved it.

sorry i loved it according to the age at brisbane airport full emergency procedures were adopted for the plane's arrival but quantus considered sydney's emergency facilities superior to brisbane's and decided to bring the plane back to sydney instead eight navy ships sped to botany bay near the airport and airport crash facilities were bolstered by 17 ambulances and 12 fire brigades. So they went into full emergency mode. Great. What are the Navy ships going to do, though? Seven in the harbour. All right, we're here now.

Dave. What do we do? Something catches on fire, right? They've got big old pumps straight into the Botany Bay. Yeah. You know the big guns on Navy ships? They're huge, yes. Water pistols.

Fantastic. They just go. And they're quite close to the airport. I did not know that. Are they really close to the airport? Botany Bay? Anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know when you fly over the ocean? Yeah. When you're flying into Sydney? Yeah, absolutely. There you go. I rarely look out the windows. Really? Flying into Sydney has got a great view.

Beautiful. I rarely look out the windows because when I Flying into Sydney has got a great view. Beautiful. I rarely look out the windows because when I'm flying, Dave always gets the window seat. I don't know how it works, no matter when we book. No, it's actually- And I only ever fly with Dave. Yeah, that's true. I often get the-

He's like my- You know how racehorses travel with a comfort pony? Yeah. That's Dave for me. Trying to work out which I am in that situation. You're the comfort pony, mate. I comfort you by booking in the aisle seat and making you sit next to a stranger in the middle.

That's really comforting for Matt. He likes being surrounded by people at all times, being jammed in there. We put our tallest person right in the middle. Right in the middle. Where he has no room. Often, Matt, you find you sit next to people that have no knowledge of personal space. Plain etiquette. Yeah, that's right.

They're lifting up the armrest to try and just get even a little bit closer to you. That's nice. It's nice to get to know people. So there you go, Dave. That's what the Navy ships will be doing, using their big water pistols to put out a fire. It feels like a stupid question now, but I'm glad I asked. Well, I'm glad you got me, Navy expert, to answer it. Now, submarines.

What are they doing? They're dumb. For Crime Traveller, Stephen Karagis wrote, Captain Selwyn was a jet pilot with thousands of hours flying time under his belt and an empirical knowledge of boeing 707 cockpit operations his role in this instance was to keep the plane in the air and delay landing for as long as possible until negotiations were made and the ransom demand was met yeah basically he's just gotta like kill time up there right and but obviously you've got enough fuel to at least

get to hong kong yes you've got a fair bit. So he's got hours of fuel there. One of the problems is if they do end up having to crash land, you don't want to be full of fuel because that will make the crash more dangerous. So the other benefit of hovering basically is that you're also burning fuel in case you do have to crash land. Wow. So, yeah, pretty full-on things to be considering.

Yeah, because generally you don't want to run out of fuel. Yeah, exactly. But in this case you're like, oh, let's burn up some of this fuel. Yeah. Everybody plug in your devices or something. I don't know. Flush the toilet. Flush them.

Turn your Game Boy back on. Air con up to max. i know it's cold in here do you want to live and they're all like what because i do not know about the pilot exactly the pilot is yelling do you want to live yes i get yeah so theyear-old Selwyn had been flying planes since World War II. As a quick aside, his obituary tells a World War II story. Oh, no, he's going to die. He's going to die. Oh, I forget that obituary gives away that.

So anyway, so it tells this story in his obituary, which is a little bit of fun, about how he narrowly avoided one disaster only to create a second one. Oh, that's a bit of fun. The obituary writes, while he was based in the Mediterranean during World War II, his plane developed serious mechanical problems and he ordered the crew to bail out while he tried to land it.

The crew had faith in him, though, and stayed as he made a very rough landing, skidded across the airstrip and hit another plane, wiping out the entire stock of Christmas alcohol that had been brought in for the base. No! After that, you don't want to live. Not a wartime.

They have so little to look forward to. Imagine that, all the guys are there watching the plane, cheering it on. It's full of robinies! Oh no! They just crashed into it. Imagine that, all the guys are there watching the plane, cheering it on. Yeah, Christmas Day! Oh, no! It just crashed into it. But everybody was fine. The people, not the birds.

Oh, my God. Yeah, everyone's going, oh, God. War's been so tough, but our one thing to look forward to is our big Christmas party. Anyway, back to 1971. Qantas had established a direct radio link with Selwyn in the plane and were in regular contact while also working to raise the $500,000 in ransom money. Did they have a telethon?

They had a telethon. Call in now. Who'd they get in? Andrew O'Keefe? Andrew O'Keefe. Pre-cancellation. We'll do 10 push-ups. Berger will yodel if you double it.

Levitia Nixon's there for some reason. Caritas wrote, a Qantas executive wrote a check for $500,000 on the Reserve Bank and a dozen senior executives began counting and bagging the bundles of $20 notes, which was the highest denomination of Australian currency at the time. Which I found that interesting. Oh, it was $20. Yeah. We didn't have a 50.

We didn't have a 50. Or a hundo. No hundo back then. Or the thousand. You know, you guys have seen a $1,000 note. I've not seen $1,000. Huh, we only had $20. But I suppose, like, you know, like bread cost 30 cents or something

And that, well, maybe less Yeah, they were one cent pieces back then as well Yeah, so I doubt you needed anything higher than a 20 all that often Yeah, exactly, so they're like Must be nice That's a lot of notes to make up half a million Now good fucking luck getting a meal for $20 You know what I mean?

Yeah, maybe a bowl of chips Maybe a bowl of chips that you've got to share with a friend. We're all putting in for these chips. And so the counting and the bundling went all afternoon and because they were rushing it, they didn't really have any time to write down any of the serial numbers or whatever to check them out. Unfortunately.

To put into context how much half a million was, I said it's about six and a half million in today's money, but that doesn't quite show you how much it actually was. You know what I mean? Like we've talked about in the past that inflation works in strange ways. But to put it into context, Cara just wrote, my parents purchased a house in Sydney on the 18th of July 1971 at a cost of $14,400.

Wow. And it took them both working 10 years to pay it off in full. So now mortgages are like 35 years or 40, you know, much longer. Oh, yeah. And the median house price in Sydney is, I don't know. It's at least $15,000. Hundreds and hundreds. It's at least $15,000.

It's at least. It's gone up by at least $1,000. But you're not as close to the city as you'd like to be. So half a million dollars now wouldn't buy an apartment in Sydney, but back then it would have bought, you know. It would have bought Sydney. A suburb. Yeah, exactly. I'm just going to put a down payment in Sydney, but back then it would have bought, you know, a suburb. Yeah, exactly.

I'm just going to put a down payment on Sydney, please. I'm going to take, yeah, Greater Sydney. No, let's go all in. How much for Greater Sydney? Can you throw in Newcastle? Yeah, all right, let's do it. You've got yourself a deal. So the plan was to keep the plane in the air for as long as possible.

That's the whole game plan at this stage, while they try and figure out what's going on. The crew was also keep the plane in the air for as long as possible. That's the whole game plan at this stage, while they try and figure out what's going on. The crew was also searching the plane, so the crew knew. The crew knew they were looking for something. They knew the size of it. I don't know if they knew it was a bomb. I'm not sure. The captain definitely did. The captain was like, all right, 50 bucks, whoever finds it.

It's a treasure hunt. All right. Yeah, it's just a fun thing that we're doing on this flight. When you find it, don't shake it or pick it up. They must have known, right? Treasure hunt. All right. Yeah, it's just a fun thing that we're doing on this flight. But when you find it, don't shake it or pick it up. Yeah. They must have known, right? Even if they haven't said bomb, if they're telling you to search the plane and be very thorough and here's what we're looking for, you're like,

okay, there's a bomb. There's a bomb. Are they able to go below and check luggage? Do you reckon they have access to that? They definitely are checking luggage. Just checking hand luggage and, like, you know, under the toilet and stuff like that. Yeah. Can you access the- I've never thought about that.

In Con Air, they do. Absolutely right. Great point. They absolutely get under there, and they do not put the bunny back in the box, which is a fatal mistake. I mean, he made a very clear instruction, didn't he? Put the bunny back in the box. That was all you have to do. I told you, put the bunny back in the box. I don't want to do I told you Put the bunny back in the box

And I won't have to tell you again Yeah Well now you're dead Okay But We can use you to write a little note So All's well that ends well

I think that's a different character It's a different guy But still Still Great movie Great movie You know Like the true story

It was two different characters But I'm combining characters. That's what you have to do in storytelling sometimes, Dave. Yeah, great. Sorry about that. We're a storytelling podcast, Dave. Some characters are an amalgamation.

There's one character all played by Steve Buscemi, and man, was he good. Yeah. No, he was actually quite a bad man. Yeah, but you're rooting for him, which makes no sense. No. Anyway, so they're looking for a bomb. So they're looking for a bomb.

And they pull off every panel. They're ripping up carpet. They're checking life fitting fittings. They're not telling the passengers. They're going through the passengers' luggage saying, we're just looking for a package. I've lost my sandwich. I'm scared this might be another one of those episodes

where we don't know what's going to happen right until the end so we're going ha ha ha ha ha but we don't know that this episode's called like the bomb tragedy or something and then it gets to the end and we're like oh no oh my god oh how terrible you know yeah the episode's called the day the music in brackets 128 people close bracket died and we're here like, anyway. Anyway. And they're big Navy ships. They've got little water pistols on them. Like, what is wrong with you people? So, yeah, but they haven't told the passengers. Yeah.

But they're just pulling up carpet. They're literally pulling up carpet, pulling panels off, going, do you mind if I go through your bed? Sorry, guys, we're a bit behind time. Usually we re-carpet the plane after every flight, but, you know, we're going to try and make up time in Hong Kong, so. So, Dave, all this is going on, right? You're the pilot.

You've got to tell the passengers to remain calm, nothing to worry about. What are you saying? Good evening, passengers. This is your captain, Mr... What was his name again? Selwyn. Captain Selwyn here on the flight deck.

Very good evening to you. We're just flying currently at 35,000 feet. That's about 15,000 feet high that we need to technically be right now. But don't worry about that. Everything is absolutely fine up here. Obviously, the cabin crew are coming through looking for something, pulling up carpet, pulling off panels. Just let them go through your bag.

Nothing to worry about. So just, Captain, prepare cross-check doors for landing, and thank you so much. Why are we back in Sydney? Why aren't we going to Hong Kong? Where's my snack? Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. There's been a few questions post-earth that I can hear.

There is a microphone that I can hear you for some reason and I've decided to ignore you from now on. Have a great day. I'll check in with you. I'm currently looking at 8.16pm. The weather is a cool and balmy 19 degrees. He's losing it. It's cool and balmy.

I have to go. I'm just currently strapping on a parachute. See what I mean? They're so easily frazzled. Yeah, they're so frazzled. Yeah, so you imagine that and some of the passengers, you know, must be twigging to somewhere. Totally, yeah.

But maybe, like, maybe you weren't as used to air travel back then. I feel like now because we're on planes a lot. Maybe they always pull the carpet up. Yeah, like, you know, when something's new and unfamiliar and you're like, well, Maybe they always pull the carpet up. I don't know. You know when something's new and unfamiliar and you're like, well, maybe that's just how it is. I don't know. It seems odd, but what would I know?

But now that we're on planes a lot, I think you would pretty quickly twig that something was out of routine and you'd be like, what the fuck? They're supposed to be bringing around my moist towelette and they're ripping off carpet instead. Where is it? When they did the U-turn and headed back for Sydney, the passengers were told it was a technical fault. Right.

That's not that much of a lie. Technically not a lie. There is a fault with the plane in that it has a bomb on board. I never lied. Okay. I just didn't tell you everything. So unbeknownst to them, they were living on borrowed time. The plane was slowly running out of fuel as it circled above Sydney.

But as I said, there was some benefit to it. If they did have to crash land, then it wouldn't explode quite as bad with less fuel. Excellent. After hours in the air and only around an hour's worth of fuel left, Qantas gave in to Mr Brown's demands. He'd been calling back every hour on the hour, giving him a little bit more information but always withholding some. So they're like slightly in the dark.

And then according to Judd, at about 5.30pm, Qantas Deputy General Manager Philip Howson took the call. It took less than 10 minutes for mr brown to detail the terms and conditions of the drop a yellow van would pull up outside quantus house in chifley square in the city at 5 45 p.m so you know only 15 minutes later the driver would identify himself by shaking his keys out the window yoohoo! I saw that the Qantas guy was interviewed later on, and he's like, I don't know if he thought there'd be a lot of yellow vans rocking up outside this thing at the time.

Probably didn't need this extra sign, but, you know. Yeah, but okay. He was keen on the dangling of the keys. I mean, you've got to do something like that just in case, because if you get cocky and think how many yellow vans are going to be running up, that's when three yellow vans are appearing that day, you know? Yeah, you start to sweat. Somebody else has your money. Yeah.

And the other thing he said was the getaway vehicle was not to be followed. Okay. Any deviation from the plan would end in irreversible catastrophe, he warned. Captain R.J. Ritchie, a Qantas general manager, made the rendezvous to deliver the ransom as mr brown had instructed he asked for a captain yeah he well he asked for this the one of the general managers of quantus this guy by name and um suspicious it was interesting because uh he was calling and wanting to talk to i think it was was, uh, uh, Housen and someone had to

pretend to be Housen for a lot of the calls. Cause he wasn't in at the time. He's like, yes, uh, this is Housen. This is he. So he just had to keep doing those calls, pretend to be Housen. But they also, cause he had all these specific, Mr. Brown had these specific requests. He was asking for people by name. They're like, we can't risk putting a putting an undercover cop in the position pretending to be

richie because if he knows him by face then it might yeah muck it all up sorry but richie met the van the dangle out the window happened and he pushed the two suitcases full of 20 dollar bills half a million bucks into the volksi van. Oh, Kombi van. You love the Kombi van. I love them, but also quite specific. Yeah, yeah. According to Richard Wood, writing for Nine News, although the bomber warned against police tailing the vehicle,

detectives planned to intercept the van. Oh. The operation centred on four unmarked cars containing officers who would pounce on the vehicle on the signal given by other police inside Qantas House. You didn't say you couldn't interfere. No, that's right. Intercept.

You said, don't follow me. Don't know following, but you didn't say intercepting. So if we intercept you, you are not allowed to set that bomb off because we didn't do anything wrong. Come on, those were your terms and conditions. You're following your rules. So Richie coming down from, you know, the Qantas head offices, there were police up there as well who were like,

all right, Richie's going down to do the drop. The cops took another elevator to go down to signal the undercover cop cars. But for an unknown reason, the signal was never received by the police who were waiting. So the driver of the combi van made it away with half a million dollars without being followed. Oh, my gosh. So they're just going, we'll we'll wait yeah one story and this sounds like it's the most common

rumor is that the police officers who were meant to signal the drivers got stuck in the elevator because someone had pushed all the buttons like some kid had pranked them. So they were like, come on, come on. It's so good. And do we think that it had anything to do with the bomb plot? Like to slow him down? Has someone gone in there and pushed all the buttons? I don't think so. Just picked the wrong lift that day, boys.

So Captain Richie had a description of the driver, though. It was a man in a wig, fake moustache and glasses. All helpful. Although there's other descriptions of a fake beard, but I think they're using moustache interchangeably there. But I've also seen a mock-up of the guy with a moustache and one with a beard as well. So I'm like, what's going on? He had a fake moustache and a real beard, or a real beard with a mustache and one with a beard as well so i'm like what what's going on he had a fake mustache and a real beard or a real beard with a fake mustache i'm not sure the police

commissioner norman allen later vaguely conceded that quote it was a very well-laid plan unfortunately the plan didn't go the way in which it was designed and that the van could not be kept under surveillance all the way to the spot when it was abandoned. So it was a great plan except for the bit when we lost the van. You're not saying anything, Norman. Honestly, it was one of the best plans. You should have seen this plan. Oh, my God.

It was such a great plan. It was our van plan. Then we had to abandon it. Honestly, if I can be honest, my handwriting looked great on this plan. It was fantastic. More often than not, I don't like my handwriting. But on this day, I was like, that's a good looking plan. And my handwriting is really carrying it.

Now, we didn't stick to the plan. No. But that's, don't hold that against the plan itself. But we made a great plan. The plan itself was fantastic. And sometimes just the dopamine hit of making a plan is satisfying enough. Yeah. Made the plan tick. Tick. That was the first step in satisfying enough. Yeah. Made the plan, tick.

That was the first step in the plan. Yeah. And that feels good. That feels good. Unfortunately, we didn't get to tick anything else off. Other than our bosses. Apparently, the Qantas bosses, one of the cops came back up and was like, they got away. We lost them.

And apparently, the Qantas bosses were like what the fuck are we dealing with you they were baffled I guess I got some good news and some bad news the good news on the way back up no one pushed all the buttons it was really quick the bad news is we lost them so what happened whatever happened whatever't work, Mr Brown got away with his money and the authorities were left waiting on instructions for the location of the bomb. So like, well, he's got his money, hopefully he'll now come up with his end of the bargain.

We can trust this guy. According to Carragis, the van was discovered 15 minutes later, so quickly after. It was parked at the corner of George and Bathurst streets opposite the Regent Theatre in the heart of the city. Oh, Bathurst. Is it connected? A technician had noticed a mustard-coloured van

being driven erratically. The traffic lights at the intersection of George and Bathurst Streets went to amber as the driver of the van shot across them, changing lanes abruptly and cutting off a taxi driver. When you're getting away with half a million dollars, it's best to just drive nice and slow, keep it casual, don't draw any attention. He's cutting cars off, screeching to a halt at the other side of the intersection.

And then he jumped out of the van carrying two blue suitcases. He then walked around the corner into Bathurst Street and headed off on foot in the direction of Hyde Park. That's what the technician had witnessed. Well, this technician's paying a lot of attention. I know. And not doing a lot of technicianing. You know what I mean?

Get back to fucking work. Are you staring out a window or something? What's your job here? What the fuck are you doing? Come on. I'm paying you for this and you're just people watching? Yeah. Mind your own business, mate.

Blimey. Your business is my business, so get back to work. Back to work. That's why I'm a great boss. Yeah. So the drop happened at 5.45 and then at 6.20, Mr Brown called back saying, quote, you can relax. There is no bomb aboard the plane.

No. You can land her safely. You son of a bitch. So he pulled all this off. It was just a bluff no way and he got half a million dollars for his troubles whoa would there be part of you that was like is it actually a bluff oh if you're the captain as you're coming into land you'd still be 21 000 feet going okay here we go here we go totally oh man. But how messed up would it be to blow them up anyway?

Yeah. Pretty messed up, I would say. I would. Yeah, I agree. I'd say five or six out of ten messed up. The following day, the Age newspaper ran a story titled, $500,000 ransom on jet. Qantas pays in mid-air bomb hoax.

I love that sort of stuff. Gosh, they wrote a headline so well back then. No pun required. I mean, what would it be now, Jess? You did journalism. Who's the boss of Qantas? Alan Joyce? Alan Joyce, yeah.

It's going to have something to do with Joyce. Yeah. Rejoice. Well, he had no Joyce but to pay up or something. Or you'll never believe how close to being blown to smithereens this Qantas flight came. That's the online version. Click here.

Yeah. The main headline would be, Alan Joyce pays terrorist $500,000 for nothing. Dot, dot, dot. Still makes record profit. And you pay the tab Yeah yeah that's right That would be about him still

Which is just a drop in the ocean of his annual salary Only 1.30th of his annual salary But in this cost of living crisis Many say insensitive I mean we're making fun of these headlines But I agree That's one of the few times where they've been sensationalists. I'm like, yeah, I'm with you there.

Yeah, probably wouldn't be as hard this time to find $500,000. Just probably Alan Joyce's wallet. Just go to his secretary. He's in a meeting, but he has left his wallet with me. I'll have a look. I'll have a look. Yeah, I've got $600. Do you want $600?

Just a five. All right. All in 20s. Great. His wallet is a briefcase. I'll read some of this article to you. Qantas last night paid $500,000 ransom to a man who threatened to blow up a Hong Kong-bound airliner with 128 people on board.

Police throughout Australia are hunting for a man who called himself Mr. Brown when he staged the gigantic bomb hoax against Australia's overseas airline. Called himself Mr. Brown when he staged the gigantic bomb hoax against Australia's overseas airline. The plane touched down safely at 6.45 p.m. to a massive greeting by pressmen and onlookers. A Qantas spokesman said, We had to treat it as a serious matter. Proceed on the assumption that the threat was real. We thought it might have been a hoax, but we were not prepared to take the risk. He described the ransom as brilliantly conceived and cleverly executed.

I like how they're like, we knew it was probably a hoax yeah so but we thought just in case i guess we better be sure yeah but i love also like praising him oh it was such a great plan brilliant and he sounded so hot yeah his voice is beautiful oh my god man should read audible books yeah i would have loved it the quantus insider also had a little jab at the police brilliant plan and well executed which is an also an important thing to do isn't it policemen standing next to me our plan looked great though i drew pictures it was actually sick. So the hunt for Mr. Brown was on. Sounds like a bit of a euphemism for going to the bathroom. Sorry, off the hunt for Mr. Brown.

I hope you get a couple of laxatives will help me in my hunt. I'm backed up. For Mr. Brown, which is poop. Out of my ass. You're picking up what I'm putting down? For Mr Brown, which is poop. Out of my ass. You're picking up what I'm putting down? Can I go now? What I'm trying to put down. The police were determined to leave no stone unturned.

And I mean, after what they've done so far, I think you've got to trust the police that they're going to do the job right. And know what they're doing. Old mate, Police Commissioner Norman Allen said, they are checking 1,001 leads. Our top men honestly can't leave it alone. They won't put down the book. The whole case, despite the criminal aspect, is fascinating.

It thrills every one of them and they simply won't rest. They refuse to sleep. I come in there and I say, boys, boys, boys, it's after midnight, we need some rest. And they say, we won't. We refuse. They've gone mad. Honestly, at this point, they're not being very productive,

but they have lost their mind. Nothing makes sense anymore. They accuse me of being Mr Brown. They stink. sense anymore. They accuse me of being Mr Brown. They stink! He also said sooner or later the man is going to crack under the strain of what he has done

and what to do with half a million dollars. There's so many options. Oh man. He'll crack. Oh my god. It's just too hard having all this money. He'll give himself away to someone or make somebody just that little bit suspicious. He may buy a car, new clothes, flash his wealth just a little to catch someone's eye. That's just basically saying, hey, have you noticed anyone buying new clothes? Yeah.

Report them to the police. It could be our man. And that did happen. Anyone who was spending money, they got so many leads and they followed them all up. But yeah, they did not get anywhere oh dear uh but i also like that he's basically giving him he's sort of taunting him a bit but also being like if you're clever you wouldn't spend too much money you'd lay low yeah so if he hears that he'd be like oh cheers for the tip yeah so you're looking it out for people who are spending great

i'll just lay low for a little bit yeah which, which is, you know, we've done a few of these heist stories where people get caught. It's like if you're ever going to do a heist, anyone out there, lay low for a bit. Lay low. And know the statute of limitations. Oh, yeah. And know your own limitations.

Oh, my God, yes. If you can't go window shopping without buying, don't go window shopping. Don't go to the supermarket when hungry oh my god fell for that the other day oh i should know better and i do know better but i instead of buying eggs which was the thing i was asked to buy i bought a packet of lollies that are flavored like um kirk's lemonade so there's like kirk's and then like the lemonade and then there's raspberry and pasito and i was like oh yum You had a well-written plan there.

Buy eggs. I did not execute it. You really need to apply for the New South Wales police force. We still don't have eggs. But those lollies are pretty fun. Is it because you hate eggs? You do hate eggs. I do hate eggs.

I wasn't buying them for me. I was, you know, I was trying to be nice. Well, failing. I failed. I failed. wasn't buying them for me. I was, you know, I was trying to be nice. Well, failing to be nice. I failed. I failed to be nice. But I got lollies. To encourage information, 50 grand was offered as a reward for any that led to his capture.

Again, that's going to buy you a house. Yeah. That could buy you two houses. Yeah, that's two mansion houses back then. Two fucking mansions. So, they're getting a lot of leads. People are going, they're being encouraged basically to go, dob on your friends who are having a bit of a shop.

Because 50 grand now would be fantastic. Nobody would be like, ugh, no thank. Well, billionaires maybe. Alan Joyce. Alan Joyce would say, no thank you, I sneeze more than $50,000. I would be thrilled to win $50,000. Won't you? I'd be so. win $50,000. Would you? I'd be so-

A little bit about me. Let's go around the room and say our reaction to winning 50 grand cash. I'm on the record as thrilled. You guys? Indifferent from Dave. Matt? I would, I don't know, I'd probably lose my mind. Would you?

I'd probably take off my jumper and twirl it around. Would you? Woo, woo, woo, woo. I would argue that would be similar to thrilled. lose my mind. Would you? I'd probably take off my jumper and twirl it around. Would you? I would argue that would be similar to thrilled. Elated maybe? But that's what the police commissioner thinks this guy's going to do. Sooner or later he's going to crack. He's going to take his t-shirt off and start wooing it around his head

and that's when we'll pounce. But back then 50 grand is, yeah, that's life changing money. They end up accidentally arresting Kevin Sheedy after a win. And, yeah, back then it's like a ridiculous amount of money. Yeah, you can comfortably just buy a house and not take 10 years to pay it off. You can just have a house.

But I guess to them they're like, if it leads to his arrest, we'll get more than that back. I get it. It's just wild. And also they'll get more than that back. I get it. It's just wild. And also they'll get their dignity back after the lift incident. Yeah. That's so embarrassing. And they've got a lot of work to do to get that back.

They're trying hard. The boys have gotten crazy. You know what they do now, though? They are too scared to take the lift because of what happened again. They just take the stairs. Yeah. They do 50 flights. One of them jumped out the window.

He's like, I'm not going in there again. He jumped out the window. He's like, I'm not going in there again. He jumped out the window. It's the fastest way down. He did not make it. That's when firemen invented those poles. People kept pressing all the buttons. People kept dying. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water.

We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Death is in our air. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. To show your true heart is to risk your life. Will I die here? You'll never leave Japan alive. FX's Shogun, a new original series streaming February 27th exclusively on Disney+.

18 plus subscription required. T's and C's apply. So police put together a life-size mannequin based on the descriptions given by Captain Richie, who did the cash drop, as well as the technician who saw the driver abandon the getaway car. And I've got to show it to you because it is so funny. Oh, my God. Are they showing this at, like, a press conference and stuff like that?

Do you know this man? Uh-huh. I'm so excited to see it. Me too. Okay, that's way better than I thought. I was imagining, like, a paper plate for a face. So at least it does kind of look like a person. It's just a shop mannequin though.

Like that has not been, the face has not been modified in any way. It's so 70s, isn't it? Yeah, he's got a mustache, some horn-rimmed glasses, a helmet haircut. It looks like someone who works at like a David Jones or something. Yeah. Hi, can I show you around? Are you looking for a new shirt? A cravat.

Possibly a tie, a cravat. To me, it just looks like they've gone straight to Kmart, gone, are you using that mannequin in the window? No, no, we'll take it with the clothes on. And then put a wig on it. So good. We'll, of course, be posting a photo of this on the social media this week so you can enjoy this mannequin.

And they've also said it was a fake moustache. So why would that help anyone recognise him? Imagine a man that looks like this, but take away the moustache. We cannot do that for you. We can't do it right now. You have to do it with the power of imagination. We've stuck it on with some very hardcore glue. And I cannot find the glue dissolver.

It will not be getting off. According to Matthew Schultz and Alicia A aitken writing for the herald son from analysis of mr brown's voice from his phone calls so they had tape of the phone calls he was probably a recent english migrant they tried to match that information with those people with a criminal record in britain according to carriages the fact that no one from organized crime elements in sydney or melbourne had come forward to their police contacts indicated to authorities that mr brown and his gang were not connected to australian criminals for this reason senior detectives were working closely with scotland yard in britain interpol and france and the fbi in the united

states and all three agencies were feeding back information to Australian police. Isn't that interesting? They're like, just because no criminals were coming forward. Yeah. It's like, how leaky is our criminal society? Apparently they're real gossips. Police even visited Hong Kong on the tip that Australian $20 notes were circulating there, but this trip proved to be a dead end. But a beautiful holiday.

A beautiful holiday. We had a great time holiday a beautiful we had a great time obviously we had to stay in the four seasons for a week it seems to be like the police uh when they arrived back it was one of the senior guys i don't know if it was norman but one of them came back and was interviewed at the airport he's got a great big tan and yeah he's wearing a new tailored suit he He looks very relaxed. He's holding a coconut drink. He looks very much like the mannequin I just showed you. And the journalist is like, so, did anything turn up?

Would you say it was a successful trip? And he's like, no, would not say. You could see him, like, ticking over his head. How do I spin this? How do I spin this? How can I answer this question without looking like a fool? This is probably before, like, police and stuff went through media training, you know?

No. Absolute waste of taxpayer money, actually. And as the months passed, all the leads they followed seemed to be dead ends. They needed a break. And soon they got one. We ask and you shall receive. It's the secret. Okay. I would like a milkshake. It's the secret. Okay.

I would like a milkshake. Well, just wait a couple of hours. What do you mean? Are you going to get me a milkshake? Yeah, you're going to have to, one, learn how to make a milkshake. Two, buy the ingredients. Three, return the ingredients. I tell you what.

Return the ingredients. I've changed my mind. I've gone off this idea. I've lost confidence. Honestly, the YouTube video made it look quite complicated. I'm just going to consume each of the ingredients individually and hope my stomach does the work. And I'll just shake around.

I'll just wiggle a bit. Go to the trampoline centre. Full of milk. So they got a break. They got a break. They received a tip off about a man all of a sudden spending large sums of money. Oh, mate, come on. We told you not to do that.

We told you. Doesn't it seem very silly? Yes. A 28-year-old barman named Raymond James Pointing was a man of modest means. Unfortunately for him, his local service station attendant paid close attention to the cars his customers were driving. So when Pointing pulled up in a new E-Type Jaguar, he caught the attendant's attention. And according to Judd, though most would have the sense to lay low after pulling off one of Australia's most brazen heists, Pointing was not most men.

Okay. And when he returned some weeks later in yet another expensive car. No. He was changing cars every few weeks. I think this one was a Ford GT. It's like a beautiful automobile. Wow. People grew suspicious of his stories of good fortune.

So he's going, oh, yeah, just come into some money. Got one big on a scratchy, that sort of stuff. Right, right. I bought this Ford GT from Brockie. And so, the service station attendant tipped off the police to this free spending man. At first, I'm like, who's this attendant dobbing on people spending money? But then I was like, oh, if there was 50 grand in it, then, you know. Oh, okay.

Yeah, sorry. I forgot about that for a second as well. I was like, all right, mate. You're watching everyone pretty closely here. He's got a couple of new cars. But, you know okay yeah so i forgot about that for a second as well i was like all right mate you're watching everyone pretty closely here he's got a couple of new cars yeah but you know before this he had no real reason to be able to afford that yeah yeah so his name's raymond james pointing you know he's a bum and so you'd expect you know he could buy one new car but it's i i hate how they've made australia this everyone's, like, suspicious of everyone's good fortune. Oh, yeah, got a new car, do you?

Huh. Where'd that come from? I feel like it's only going to look very judgmental if he didn't do the heist. Yeah. Yeah. But that's, I mean, that must have happened to so many people. Yeah, sure, yeah. And, like, so someone's dobbed me in.

The police are all of a sudden around your place going, how did you afford that new car? This is a free country. I'm allowed to buy a freaking car. Yeah, it's not a free car. I paid for it. Sorry I'm getting a bit defensive there. It's not because I did any heisting or anything like that.

So, anyway, this pointing guy is put under surveillance by the detectives of the consorting squad. And as it turned out, this tip-off was what would bring down the entire operation. Okay, so maybe we shouldn't judge this rat of a garage attendant. I hope he's, you know, lived comfortably in his mansion for the rest of his life. Yeah, but then the next week when he gets the $50,000 reward, people are like, where did you get that money from, eh? The cycle is still going today.

Toxic. The detectives also tailed an associative pointing. One, Peter Macari. Macari was stopped in his brand new Chevrolet Camaro. That checks out. His name's Macari. That's fine. I'm driving in Macari.

All right, carry on. But he wasn't. That would only make sense if it was a recent Italian immigrant, but he was a recent English immigrant. And I don't know if you remember the voice checking thing. Yeah. The voice. Sorry to get technical.

They're like, sounds English. They got people at a university to check that voice. Wow. And they came back saying, reckon he's English. Only really intelligent people can be in universities. Yeah. Like some of the best of the best. Oh, yeah.

No, that is definitely probably English. But also, did Australians- The language. Did Australians just- Not sure about the accent. That's what the report was. Mr. Brown was speaking what I believe to be English. A few grammar mistakes in there, obviously.

So he was found to be living in a newly purchased penthouse in Bondi. Oh, come on. With panoramic views of the sea. For the new pad, he paid 45 grand in cash. A Bondi penthouse for 45 grand. Isn't that amazing? With panoramic views of the water. Wow. So the station attendant could now be living in one of those that's still triple the amount of like the average

housing back then so that would have seemed like so much yeah exactly oh man now it's like a year's wage fuck fuck on the 4th of august, Macari and Pointing were arrested, just over two months after they pulled off the audacious robbery. Ooh, they did pull it off. Pointing reportedly offered very little resistance before admitting he played a role in the plot. All right, I did it. He also fingered Peter Macari...

What? Did that have anything to do with the bust? Sorry about that little side note there. No, he figured Peter McCurry is the brains of the operation. The so-called Mr Brown. Wow. He said McCurry is my brownie. Yeah.

And they said, stop trying to do puns. Stop it. You're terrible at this. Just tell us the truth. What happened? So, who was this Peter McCurry, a.k.a. Mr Brown? According to Judd, Peter Macari was an English migrant who had arrived in Australia two years earlier on a false passport

after skipping bail in Britain on an indecent assault charge. He was no stranger to the wrong side of the law, but no one could have predicted the otherwise unremarkable man. Isn't that such brutal? Brutal. Oh, that's brutal. So brutal. That is brutal.

You'd be in prison reading that about you going, oh, come on. Yeah. Unremarkable? Come on. No one could have predicted the otherwise unremarkable man would assume the moniker that would spark a cross-continental investigation. The most remarkable moniker of all, Mr. Brown. Macari's transition into Australian life was far from smooth sailing. After opening

a small factory at Brookvale in Sydney, which produced fiberglass boats, he was reported to have lost half his life savings and began to travel. It was on this jaunt across the country that his grand scheme was set into motion. Inside the van that Macari had been living in, in Townsville, he watched the 1966 television thriller film doomsday flight on a small television set a quick fun fact about 1966 oh it's the uh year the saints won their one and only vfl afl premiership happy 150th birthday to the saints if they are listening happy birthday boys i've been told um a few listeners have become Saints members from overseas. I'm like, that is so sick.

Just because of this? No, nothing to do with you. Well, that's not what they said. I think you're doing God's work. You're spreading the word. Do you have like a stand or something named after you where they train? Should do. I think you should.

Or at least a chair. My pops got it. The family got a chair named after him. They could, you know, buy a chair. That's nice. So there's a chair at Moorabbin with pop's name, Mick Stewart. That's beautiful. That's very nice.

You should at least have like a promo code that you put in and when people sign up and use your code, like you get a scarf or something, you know, or you get 50 bucks. Yeah, I'd take 50 out of the scarf. You end up with like seven scarves. All right, well, enjoy your cold neck. Idiot. Check out cold neck over here.

Don't come crawling back to me. Good luck keeping yourself warm with lots of $50 notes. You fucking idiot. They could all be scarves. You fucked it. How much do your scarves cost? 20 bucks. So, he's seen this film, right?

What's it called again? Doomsday Flight. Love it. According to IMDB, which is like an internet movie database sort of online. Right, okay. This is the synopsis of the film. A bomb is planted on board an aeroplane with an altitude-sensitive trigger. It will explode when the plane descends through the altitude of 5,000 feet

unless the ransom demanded is paid. So he just fully ripped off this TV movie. Technically, he's made it 20,000, so it's not infringement. Yes, that's right. He just watched a movie and gone. He watched a movie. It's like watching Die Hard and going, I could crash that Christmas party and get a lot of money out of an

epitome company. Apparently when he watched the film, I don't know how someone, apparently someone witnessed him there. So someone has like gone, I was there watching it with him and apparently said, hmm, that would be a good way to make money. And he went, you're right. So it's not even his idea. Someone else has said this is a good idea.

No, apparently he said that, but someone was there who later said, yeah, I was there when he said, I heard him say that. What an idiot. Also, according to IMDb, this early made-for-TV movie only received one NBC network airing as opposed to the usual two. The network shied away as it was thought that it was too detailed and could serve as a textbook for airplane terrorism. Whoa.

So there was pressure in America to not air it again. Obviously, that pressure didn't come in Australia because they were replaying it five years later. According to Judd, director Rod Serling would later lament having made the film, which authorities believe inspired three separate airline extortion plots, saying he had done a vast disservice to airlines. Wow. According to Carragist, the film aired in Canada in July 1971. A week later, a man called to say a bomb was aboard a flight. Once again, there was a warning not to descend below 5,000 feet. The plane,

traveling from Toronto to London, was diverted to land at Denver, Colorado Airport, which sat at an elevation of 5,300 feet. Oh! God, that's good. How clever is that? That is so good. Get the fuck out. That is so good.

Yeah, I'm like, oh, man, that is fucking... You'd feel kind of smug about that, I reckon. We need to build a Mount Kosciuszko airport. What if you just landed on Mount Kosciuszko? That's so clever. Yeah. Yeah, you could land a big old plane on Mount Kosciuszko. I mean, our police couldn't make it down an elevator.

They weren't thinking of- And also, Kosciuszko is not 20,000 feet, but it could be if we keep stacking it up. Yes. Donate your rubbish, please. Smiggins holes for the Winter Olympics. So, in this case, it also turned out there was no bomb. So, it was a very similar plot. Wow.

After the Qantas hoax, the director, Serling, said, I didn't realise there were that many kooks in the woodwork. I wish I had written a stagecoach drama starring John Wayne instead. And then quite dramatically he said, I wish I'd written a stagecoach drama starring John Wayne instead. And then quite dramatically he said, I wish I'd never been born. I don't think anyone expected him to say that. I wish I made a John Wayne film. I wish I'd never been born.

It was such a dramatic turn. The journalist would have been going like... I guess I got a report that he said this. I guess I got a report that he said this. While I'm wishing things. That's ridiculous. It's so funny and irrelevant. That's such a dramatic reaction.

Just wish you'd never made the film. No, but people didn't die. No. There was no bomb. It's okay. Oh, I wish I'd never made the film no people didn't die no there was no bomb it's okay oh i wish i was never born i love it i'm gonna start saying it all the time oh they're out of tomato. Oh, I wish I was never born. Or saying it just really straight, like not just, I wish I was never born.

That's funny. I wish there was tomato sauce. Or I wish I was never born. So, anyway, he's had this idea planned in his mind, just seeing a movie. Like like if he watched a different movie that day it could have been a whole different plot but anyway he watched this movie he had this plot in mind then he had to go about creating the bomb he knew a guy called francis sorahan who worked at the mount isa mines i guess as a fifo worker because he knew him in sydney and sorahan

sold makari gelignite and detonators for 100 bucks the police had already realized that um the bomb was made from parts from mount eiser mine so they'd already been investigating people who'd worked there and that sort of stuff because these the particular jag night and detonators were only used at mount eiser mine so i was easily traced back there right but they still still hadn't got anywhere. All their leads had gone cold. If it wasn't for that tip-off, it seems like. The gas station guy unraveled this.

Yeah. Unbelievable. Isn't that wild? Just because he couldn't help but buy multiple brand new cars. Yeah. And go to the same service station. Oh. Yeah.

I guess the way they were spending spending eventually they would have slipped up and it's exactly what the police commissioner norman predicted as well he said eventually they'll spend a bit too much it'll tip someone off and that's exactly what happened wow yeah so soriano he sold the the gear for only 100 bucks he was later arrested as an accomplice but was acquitted when it seemed like they believed that he didn't know what he was selling it for, even though it was stolen. Basically a stolen explosive. And detonators. Yeah. According to Schultz and Aiken, during the court case, Detective Sergeant McNeil revealed that Mr. Macari had told police he initially planned to extort a Pan American jet, but he switched the plan when he realized only a Qantas flight from Sydney

to Hong Kong would be in air long enough for him to get away with the plan so that it was like the perfect amount of time in the air and whatnot uh pointing was jailed for seven years and Macari for 15 years which was the maximum he could get at Sydney's Long Bay jail but. But despite that, a huge stash of cash was still missing. Only $261,387 of the ransom money was ever recovered. In August that year, $138,000 of the cash in huge wads of $20 notes was found under a bricked up fireplace in Annandale in Sydney's West in a house behind a disused shop. I think the tip off came from one of the tradies or something. So it'd been freshly plastered over and everything. And then in 1972, Qantas made $17,500 from the sale of the extortionist's cars. They had quite a little car collection going. The cars sold

included two Morris Cooper S sports cars, an E-Type Jaguar, a Ford Falcon 351 GT, and a Chevrolet Camaro, as well as a transit van. They also sold the suitcases used to carry the cash. They really want every cent back. They were bought by a collector for 40 bucks each. The combi van that was stolen and used for the pickup, that was auctioned off as well. There's footage of the auction. It's real weird. It's so awkward. The auction is so awkward. He starts off by saying, welcome, gentlemen and ladies.

Sorry, I keep forgetting that there are also ladies here. It's like he's doing an awkward stand-up bit. Wow. Sorry, I keep forgetting. I'm certainly not distracted by the pheromones in the room. What? There's too many kneecaps I can see. I'm getting all hot under the collar.

He's attracted to kneecaps. Yeah, the sexiest bit of the knee. The cap. Oh, my God. There's a few caps out and about today. The cap. Oh, my God. There's a few caps out and about today.

The guy who bought that van was a car dealer and he bought it just to show on his lot for, he bought it for more than he reckons he could sell it for, but he thought the value in it would be that people would come to his car lot to see the van and then he was going to sell it to make back some money a month later. Don't know how that worked out, but I loved it as a plan. It's good business. In 1973, $137,000 was found hidden in a Balmain house

in Sydney's inner suburbs where Macari had hidden out in the days after the heist. In November 1980, Mr Macari, after serving nine years of his sentence, was released and deported to England, ironically on a Qantas jet. He was wearing the same suit. He was arrested in nine years before and he claimed he had nothing left from the fraud, but there was still a huge chunk of money missing. Apparently the police thought that it was probably in corrosion-proof safes in Bondi Beach in the water.

And the article I read was like, this is not very likely. Surely they would have put it somewhere that was more easily accessible. You'd have to go deep-sea diving on a popular beach. You'd have to be seen carrying safes to the beach, multiple. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. One of the most popular beaches in Australia. I don't think that's accurate. According to his obituary, after the bomb hoax, and that's-

I did know, I was a little red herring there, the obituary about the pilot, but I knew what I was doing. No, I think I was joking that a man who was nearly 50 in the 70s is dead now. Yeah. He has died at some point since. A man from World War II is dead. What? Oh, my God.

After the bomb hoax, Qantas asked pilot William Selwyn to retrain as a pilot on the newly introduced 747s, but he decided that retirement was a better option and stopped work at the end of 1971. So he pretty much retired soon after this. Wow. At the age of 49. He was so close to retiring.

He then moved to Bendigo in Victoria where he lived to the age of 87, having enjoyed nearly four decades of retirement. Nice. There was also a movie titled Call Me Mr Brown released in 1986 Did it have anything to do with this? No, why? No relation It was directed by Scott Hicks and starred Chris Haywood

At the time the director said We still can't believe no one has thought to make a movie out of this story before And I wonder if that's because the last time such a movie was made It inspired multiple crimes yeah apparently quantus tried to stop the film being made you know we're talking joking about they never they never seem to mention this apparently they worked very hard to stop this movie um being made channel 10 who invested a quarter of a million in the making of the film i think about a quarter of the budget,

in the end didn't even air it, possibly because Qantas bought the rights to it and shelved it. That's what I read somewhere. They bought the rights to it and just played it on their planes. Yeah. We're very proud to be involved in this aviation moment. But it is now available in full on YouTube, so you can watch it for free now.

Have you watched any of it? I've seen bits of it. It looks all right, you know, for a lowish budget. 80s TV movie. 80s TV movie, yeah. But apparently someone has since bought the rights and put it up on there so anyone can see. Less than a month after the bomb hoax, a pop song called A Certain Mr Brown was released

by Peter Hiscock and Festival Records Australia. It goes, it's to the tune of Click Goes the Shears. Why do they always use that same tune for everything? And it tells the story. They did that for Decimal Currency as well. But it doesn't, like, he still goes. Write an original song.

Instead of Shears, he says something different each verse, like, click goes the tears, boys. It doesn't make any sense. It's such an odd song. And the only comment on YouTube is, this is so bad, it's great. I agree. Finally, I just want to show you what Mr Brown looks like. Because you two, I mean, you thought that the mock-up was pretty good.

But just have another quick look. That's the mock-up. Yes. Gorgeous. Yes. Beautiful. Believable. What's wrong with my right?

That's what he actually looked like. Absolutely accurate. Yes. In what way does he look similar at all? It's nothing like him. You're right. They didn't do anything To the actual

Facial features Which he had Very distinctive ones Maybe if that guy Was smiling And brushed his hair And had a mustache And glasses on

Then I think It would be the same He's got a bit Of the Tim Rogers About him Yeah So that is the story Of the 1971

Qantas bomb hoax Great stuff Or bomb heist I feel like The Qantas have buried that story. Yeah. That's why we haven't heard it. I can't believe we hadn't heard that story at all. They bought the rights to the movie.

They shelved it. This goes all the way to the top. Yeah. Alan freaking Joyce. Joyce is still. This is Joyce's work. And we've checked the tapes and it seems that Alan Joyce is speaking English. But he's got a sort of a, he says it kind of funny.

We can't figure out, can't quite put our finger on it. He's Irish for people who don't know. I mean, I think he's pretty famous worldwide. Mr. Worldwide. I mean, I think he's pretty famous worldwide. Mr Worldwide. There's a couple of quotes I didn't use in the report from passengers after the flight talking about how they got sort of how they, you know, we're talking about if they figured it out or not, what was going on.

Mr Hawes recounted, all the passengers helped in the search. We took the carpets off the floor. He conveyed that the stewardesses were very calm and were joking with the passengers, that there was no panic on board but a lot of tension. Mrs Anna Leonardi and her two children were on their way to Rome to visit our relatives and she said, the children were scared but not as much as me.

I thought the object could have been drugs or a bomb when she was, you know, she was right there. But I wouldn't be equally scared about a bomb on a plane or some drugs on a plane. When they find them, they're going to make us take them. And I don't feel like it. I'm already coming down. I'm not in the mood. You know, when you're being forced to take drugs, but you're not in the mood.

Oh, please, come on. I wanted to get some sleep. You'll keep me up all night. And Jess, I feel like you might, what you were talking about is pretty close to what Mr. Charney said. He was traveling with his wife to Hong Kong and he said, no one took much notice. But when the search continued and lunch wasn't served, we began to wonder. He then asked the steward what they were looking for.

He said it was a nine inch long object. I thought immediately of gelignite. Then half an hour before. That's sus. Then half an hour before we were due to land, they said there was definitely nothing on board to worry about. The last thing we expected to do tonight was to sit here in Sydney Airport and eat, Mr Charney said, over a meal of steak and mushrooms.

I finally got that food. That's what he was thinking about. Nine inches. Gelignite? The hostess would be like, what the fuck? This guy's definitely in on it. I was so used to anything inches related,

men just going straight to penis, you know? Nine inches, is that all? Yeah, so it sounds like they were relatively chilled out about it. But, yeah, it's funny. He was like that half an hour before, which is when they got the actual clear. He was like, you could tell that there was nothing to worry about. But also, yeah, it's like lunch hasn't come and he's like the fuck is going on

what the hang on lunch but i love how also the passengers are helping rip up the carpet that would be fun something for the kids to do i'll do it the kids weren't as scared as me i thought they could be drugs my kids aren't scared of drugs as soon as the kids thought that they were drunk when i told them they started ripping up the carpet even harder. They were tearing that place apart. They were actually quite disappointed when it turns out that it was a bomb they were looking for. They're like, no! I can't get high on a bomb.

Yeah. Did you say bomb? So that brings us to everyone's favourite section of the show where we thank some of our fantastic Patreon supporters. If you want to get involved and support the show, you can go to patreon.com. Another way to support the show, of course, is just telling a friend. That's right. Who you think might enjoy this.

Grassroots promotion. It's all about word of mouth. Exactly. I heard that at the end of Dave's show at the Comedy Festival. He said, word of mouth is key. It's king. King. Absolutely.

Please tell a friend about either my show or my podcast. Yep. But if you do get involved at patreon.com slash 21pod, Jess, what are some of the things that they can get involved with? Well, they get to vote on topics that we do. They get to be a part of our Facebook group, the most beautiful and kind and lovely corner of the internet. So good.

I organised a little crew to go to Dave's show with some other patrons on one of his opening nights. Thank you so much. It was a lovely time. It was great hanging out with them after and having a beer and having a chat. So nice. There's three bonus episodes a month. There's so much good stuff.

So jump on over to patreon shout out to penny by the way who told dave and i the story that we're still talking about and cringing about congratulations penny in a good way in a good way quite an achievement lovely cringe beautiful cringe any story that involves drazic is okay by me uh but the first thing we like to do is the fact quote or question section which actually i think has a little jingle goes something like this fact quote or question always remembers the ding she always remembers the sing and the way this works is you sign up at the sydney scheinberg level or above and then you get to give us a fact a a quote, or a question,

or a brag, or a suggestion, or really anything you like. And first up this week, we've got one from Jess Green. They also get to give themselves a title, and Jess's title is ABC's Hard Quiz Live Champion, as crowned by Tom Gleeson himself. Whoa. Whoa. We've had a few listeners be on the show,

but I don't know if we've had a champion before. Dave, can you explain to international listeners what that show is? Hard Queers, it's a show hosted by Tom Gleeson, and it's a comedy show where he is the host and he sasses the guests as he asks them each about a topic that they're an expert in. It might be a TV show, it might be the St Kilda Football Club, the history of, I don't know, Pablo Picasso.

Someone did the St Kilda football club the history of i don't know pablo picasso someone did the st kilda football club once and i would have i reckon i would have got a third of them right they were they knew some real specific people get really involved and also the other people that you're competing against sometimes they steal because they might know that yes so you want it to be pretty niche yep uh yeah it's a tricky one to figure out. But it's a cult show and at the end you get a mug if you win. Yeah, big brass mug. So congratulations, Jess. That's awesome. And Jess is asking a question writing,

I hope you're all well. So good to be alive. My question is, what is, what was your favourite walkout song for your comedy shows? I'm seeing all of your shows in a few weeks' time, so I might know the answer before this question gets into an episode. My winning topic on Hard Quiz. Any guesses?

Why would you know? Walkout songs. Taylor Swift. There's a lot there. She's obviously got so many albums. So, obviously, mine has to be one of hers. Ready for it or The Man would be my pick. Great choices there.

Happy Melbourne International Comedy Festival to all who celebrate. And to you too, Jess. And to you, Jess. To all who celebrate, yes. I have always, and I actually don't know if I will use it this year, but I've always used Obvious Child, Paul Simon. I don't know why. I just really like it.

It's got a fun drum beat. And so now it's become like a little bit of an in-joke for myself that I just always use the same song. That's great. I love it. You just find something that works for you, the right vibe. You know? That's fun.

That's fun. That's great. This year I've been walking out to Tom Jones' Sex Bomb. I feel like you go towards Tom Jones a bit, don't you? Yes, for our quiz show, my walkout music is It's Not Unusual. Okay, that's what I was thinking. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We have our quiz show walkout music as well, and mine's Dolly Parton, right?

Baby, I'm Burning. What a great song. And are you going to stick with Pantera this year, Matt? Which song did I go with? Was it Walk? I believe it was Walk. Yeah, I think it's Walk. Great walkout music, Walk.

For my show this year, I'm using For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica because my show's called Ding. Nice. That's good. And I've recorded myself saying ding over the dings. That's fun. Well, we'll see how long it lasts. You're fun.

I think it's very fun. I think I used Cowboys from Hell by Pantera a few years ago. I can't remember what else I've used, but yeah. I think it's either a song that fits the theme or it's just a good song or it's just funny.'s either a song that fits the theme or it's just a good song or it's just funny. It's a funny song. I think it's Sabotage by the Beastie Boys, another good walkout song. I've got a playlist that I have that I go to sometimes.

Know Your Product, I love, is a walkout song. What's Know Your Product? That's the Saints. The horns. Oh, cool. Yeah. All right. I can see the appeal.

It's a banger. Great question, though. Thank you so much, Jess. And congratulations on your win. Yeah, huge. And see you at our shows. With whatever Warcap music I end up choosing, your shows have started.

I've just looked it up, Matt. Last year for the quiz show, it was Cowboys from Hell. Oh, I went with that again. It's a great song. Which is very funny. And then Jess walks out to Dolly Pup. It was a fun juxtaposition. Great use of that word.

Thank you. Mine's just a lot of cowbell. Mine's cowboys, yours are cowbells. Aww. Aww. Thank you, Jess. The next one comes from Sky. This is the first time I've had a name that has had instructions on how to say it.

It says whispered. Ooh, love that. And Sky is CEO of Remembering Names. Oh, my God, I need you in my life. I'm so bad at remembering names. You are Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada. Yes, definitely am. Could not agree more.

Because Emily Blunt has a cold and is not feeling well and forgets somebody. Yes. And Anne Hathaway steps in and is like, this is who it is. Yes. Know what I mean? So, yes, Sky is Anne Hathaway. Yes.

I'm Emily Blunt. That's right. Am I Meryl? You're Meryl. Thank you. And Anne Hathaway. Yes. I'm Emily Blunt. That's right. Am I Meryl? You're Meryl. Thank you. And you're the devil, Jess. I'm Stanley Tucci. Oh, my God.

I didn't know that was an option. Dream. Sky is offering us a quote, writing, Hi, Mark, Jen, and Derek. It's me coming at you with another quote by the effervescent Mark Banana of Auntie Donna. That is so funny. Here it goes, you frictionless piece of cum. Is that the quote?

Yeah. I love that. It says, please yell it at the end, but I don't know if that's part of the quote. Am I meant to... Hang on. Am I meant to have yelled that all? Are these stage directions or part of the quote? You're right.

Jess, you're a big Aunty Donna fan. No, I've had a falling out with them. Okay, so does that quote make sense to you? Come makes sense. Yeah, come definitely makes sense. That's right up there, Ali. Just yell it again, but channel Mark. Be a bit, like, wild.

Hi, Mark, Jan. Not the whole thing, I don't think. Just the quote. Hi, Mark, Jan and- Not the whole thing, I don't think. Just the quote. Hi, Mark, Jan. Oh, I see. I thought the whole thing was a quote. No, the CEO of Remembering Names and then they've immediately said our names all wrong.

It's a good joke. That is good. It's me coming at you with another quote. Okay. You thought that entire thing was a quote? I'm so stupid. I mean, I'm not telling you anything you don't know. You frictionless piece of cum.

Yeah. That's sort of Mark-ish. That feels right. Well done. Slightly squeaky. Yeah. Thank you so much for that, Sky. That was fantastic.

And I'm sorry about everything. Sky. Sky. The you so much for that, Sky. That was fantastic. And I'm sorry about everything. Sky. Sky. The next one comes from David Loring. David has told me in the past how to pronounce his name. I think it's David Loring. Okay. And David is the chief supplier of underwhelming funnies.

Oh, and he's offering us a joke. I like how he set the expectations. If I am overwhelmed by this, or even diswhelmed. And I got to tell you, I am easily whelmed and overwhelmed, but not that easily underwhelmed. What film was that from where they go- You know you can be underwhelmed and you can be overwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?

Is that 10 Things I Hate About You? And that's the Julia Stiles' sister? Yeah. Played by Alex Mack? I think you can in Europe. Yeah. I think you can in Europe. Yeah. David Loring's joke is, what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

What? Very good stuff there. That's good stuff. I'm whelmed. And thank you very much, David. And the next one comes from Stephen Carter. Well. Scooby-Doo can do-do. And thank you very much, David. And the next one comes from Stephen Carter. Well.

Scooby-Doo can do-do. But Stephen Carter is smarter. I knew you went there straight away because I did too. And Stephen is the exposer of horrible lyrics that somehow make the song better. And it's a quote. And the quote is, Me not working hard? Yeah, right. Picture that with a Kodak.

Or better yet, go to Times Square. Take a picture of me with a Kodak. Took my life from negative to positive. And I just want y'all to know that. And tonight, let's enjoy life. And that is, as Stephen writes, by our Lord and Saviour Pitbull. Wow. Thank you, Pitbull. I like how he rhymed Kodak with Kodak.

Yeah, I love a name drop of Kodak. Is that Mr. Worldwide? That is Mr. Worldwide. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. As opposed to Mr. Roverlover, which is Shaggy. What's going on?

All right. The next thing we like to do is a few of our other great supporters, we shout them out. Jess and I have a bit of a game based on the topic at hand. True. What about what they ordered for lunch on the plane? Yeah, great. Didn't come, but they ordered it.

Frictionless didn't come. The first one comes from, if I may kick us off, from Pickerington in Ohio. Oh, God's country itself. It's Stephan Almond Trout. Oh, my goodness. Got to be some sort of fish-based meal there. You would think that, and it is.

We ordered the tuna. Tuna. Just tuna ragout. A tuna rag that, and it is. We ordered the tuna. Tuna. Tuna ragu. A tuna ragu. And a bread roll. And I think for the dessert it was like a mini cheesecake with some berries. Yes. That sounds yum. And a little glass of pinot.

And the staff didn't know how to make a tuna ragu, or even if it's a real thing, they ended up just making a tuna mornay. What a slap in the face. Which if it's a real thing they ended up just making a tuna mornay that's right what a slap in the face which is that a real thing i'm panicking over here i don't know what any of that is i've never eaten a meal in my life i don't eat thank you so much stefan the next one comes from doha in qatar it's bahad al tani thanks so much is this our first qatari shout out yeah i believe it could i don't remember shouting out to Qatar before, so that's exciting. Awesome stuff.

Very cool. What did Fahad have for lunch? A giant lettuce. Okay. What is he, some sort of a snail? Covered in caramel. Caramel lettuce. Caramel lettuce, yeah.

And did he request this? And fortunately, it never came out, remember, but this was the request. Oh, okayamel lettuce, yeah. And did he request this? That's what there was. And fortunately, it never came out, remember. But this was the request. Oh, okay. Yeah, great. We have, Fahad has had a few fat quotes or questions through. But I don't, because we don't say where they're from in there. We didn't know you were from Qatar this whole time.

Very cool. Very cool. I hope, well, I wanted you to enjoy a giant lettuce covered in caramel. Maybe a bit of salt as well. Salted caramel lettuce. Yum. Any sides or a dessert or anything? Or because the caramel is a dessert in itself. Exactly. It's a self lettuce covered in caramel. Maybe a bit of salt as well. Salted caramel lettuce. Yum. Any sides or a dessert or anything? Because the caramel is a dessert in itself.

Exactly. It's a self-sourcing dessert. It's nutritious and delicious. Exactly. The big two food groups. Unfortunately, it never came. Okay. So, Fahad was left a little bit hungry.

And it's disappointing. But back at the airport. Steak and mushrooms. Steak and mushrooms like everyone did. And finally from me, oh, from address unknown, can only assume from deep within the fortress of the moles, it's Jack. Very mysterious.

Jack, who are you, Jack? Who are you, Jack? Let us in. Let us in, Jack. We're knocking on the door. We're saying, what do you want for lunch? What do you want for lunch? Open up.

And Jack's saying, I'll have whatever everyone else is having. Don't worry about me. Caramel lettuce? Are you sure, Jack? Are you sure? I can make you a sandwich. And then Jack said that and gone, actually, no. Yeah.

I would like something else. I will specify. What else is available? Toasted cheese sandwich with some potato fries. Inside the sandwich? No, just on the side. Okay. That's good, though.

But then the whole plate is deep fried. That's right. So, you can't eat the plate. Yeah. You shouldn't, but you could. You could, yeah. And then just like a Diet Coke, which- Balances it out.

Hostesses hate pouring, apparently. Diet Coke specifically? Don't order a Diet Coke. Yeah, because it bubbles way more than the others. Really? I've never heard that. That's amazing. I've never heard that.

You've got to get on TikTok. No, don't do it. That's the way. You'll lose so much of your time. Can I thank some people? I'd love it if you did. I would love to thank from White Cliff, Witch Cliff, sorry, in Western Australia.

Is that a question or? Witch Cliff. No, Witch Cliff in Western Australia. I would love to thank Ash. Well, a little bit more information about Ash? Still not fully letting us in, Ash. What do they eat in WA? Well, I think they eat the old Fremantle Dr Peppers.

I don't know. Fremantle Dr Pepper sounds pretty good. Yeah. So Ash just said- Slightly sea saltier? Yeah. Could I get a F man of Dr. Pepper? And the Qantas staff just had to bluff their way through.

They said, yes, of course. Because they're Queensland and Northern Territory. They don't know Western Australia. It's not Qantas. No. Is it? Should have been. Should have been.

Should have been. Yes, I could not agree more. It should have been Qantas. But it simply isn't. You know, as they grew, they should have incorporated us all in. All of us. Quantwas. Quantwas.

Nisum. I forgot about New South Wales. They make it tricky, New South Wales. Yeah, they ruin everything. Nisum. You should get an N in there, I think, would be fine. New. Double N.

What about, because, you know, like Western Australia, beautiful beaches, fish and chips on the beach. Oh, yeah. Fantastic. They love a Sunday session over there as well. Yeah, okay. So, along with the Dr Pepper. Yeah, maybe a can of feral, some sort of feral brewing beer.

Yep. Maybe a sundae. Maybe biggie juice. Chocolate sundae for the Sunday sesh. Oh, delish. Okay, great. I would also love to thank from Bentonville in Arizona, Kyla Wilmoth. Kyla Wilmoth.

That's an incredible name. That's a fantastic name. It's a journey and a journey I enjoyed, you know. Kyla, already nice. Wilmoth. Wilmoth. I like it a lot. Me too. What did Kyla order already nice. Wilmoth. Wilmoth. I like it a lot. Me too.

What did Kyla order? I'm going to do the entree. Jess, you do the mains. Great. Yes, we're great in a triple whammy. Here we go. Entree of, what do you call those beans, like wasabi beans or whatever? Oh, yeah.

Edamame. Edamame. Some edamame followed by tomato soup. Wow. Wash down for dessert. Three lemon ruskies. Keep them coming. What a nutritious meal.

Hell yeah. Soup and then lemon ruskies. You're going to be pissing all night. The edamame is the only solid. There was a dinner roll with the soup. Oh, okay. Sure. There's a dinner roll with the lemon ruskies

Man I love a dinner roll Some of those cheese and crackers They'll soak everything up You're all good And finally for me I would love to thank from Address unknown We can only assume

Deep within the fortress of the moles Kat Parra Also fantastic name For entree Gonna have a bag of Light and tangy Thins chips Oh I love them Love them of light and tangy Thin's chips. Oh, I love them.

Love them. Light and tangy. For main, there is a Napolitana pasta. Oh, pasta on a plane is good, I think. The best thing they do is pasta. And wash that down with a dessert nachos. I'm not sure he knows what dessert is. Or how do you wash something down?

Wash a very dry, crunchy food. Yeah. It's when they cover, you know, sort of like a cinnamon-shaped, corn chip-shaped things with chocolate, ice cream. Oh, okay. So it is a dessert. It's a dessert nachos. It really is.

All right, I'll accept it. Cinnamon dusted. So instead of salsa, it's chocolate sauce. Yeah, instead of sour cream, it's actual cream. Right. Oh. Instead of cheese, it's dessert cheese. You get it.

Okay. Dave, do you want to thank a few people? I would love to. I'd love to thank from Richmond in Kentucky, I believe this is. Is that Derby country? Yeah. Yeah. I believe it is. And it'sby country? Yeah. Yeah. I believe it is.

And it's a big shout out to Brittany Baker. Brittany Baker. Brittany Baker from Richmond in Kentucky. Okay, why don't we go the other way, Dave? You do. No, I want to do entree. Dave, you do main. Matt, you do dessert because I think you have a better idea of what desserts actually are.

Yeah, you've been taken off desserts, Dave, I think is what's just happened. Okay, so entree. I think is what's just happened. Okay, so entree. I'm sure he understands Maine's though. Entree, a tiny bag of nuts. Okay. Tiny bag of nuts. Okay, Maine, I'm going to go with a big bowl of chocolate ice cream.

You are a menace. And dessert. And four desserts. To wash it down. A six pack of Calton Cold shots. Oh. They were the briefly available Calton Cold beers that also had a shot of vodka in them. Oh, wow.

They were no good. That's a terrible idea. That's full on. It would taste bad, but also you'd get so drunk. So, Brittany's having 12 drinks. Brittany is getting carried off that plane. Thank you, Brittany. I would like to thank now from Tacoma in Washington. It's Isaac Herrigs or Herigé.

Oh, I hope it's Herigé. That's beautiful. Well, Isaac is having for entree a Caesar salad. There's no joke in that. It's just a salad. For a main, we're going for a small margarita pizza. Oh, yum. Sorry.

Sorry about that. I'm very hungry. Dessert. Banana split. Yes. Yum. With chocolate sauce. Yep.

Sprinkling of nuts Huifas Yes Marshmallows Yes Strawberries Hell yeah And some sort of flambe

I don't know what that means Go off King It's getting involved Hell yeah Okay that's the first like decent meal we've given I feel bad for everybody else What's a flambe? I don't know

Just set it on fire Okay great Ice cream on fire Yeah great That's fun That's fun And finally I'd like to thank from Kensington, right here in Victoria, Myra De Smet. What an incredible name.

I don't want to overdo it, but this has been one of the best crops of names we've ever had. But see, the people I know and meet in real life, vanilla names. They never have these names. We've started with Stefan Almond Trout, and we're finishing with Myra De Smet. That's names. They never have these names. We've started with Stefan Armantrout and we're finishing with Myra DeSmerz. That's incredible. You never meet these people on the street. Where do these people come from?

Kensington's not that far away. No, we couldn't. Why aren't I meeting more interesting people? No, you're stuck with Dave Warnocki and Matt Stewart. Yeah. I can only assume if Jack would just let us in that his surname would be something like Hoppentrot or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Strongest man alive, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Strongest man alive. Yeah. You know? Oh, it's French. What? Anyway, Myra is kicking things off for an entree. Myra's going to be having a mac and cheese croquette. Okay, fantastic.

Followed up by a McDonald's filet-o-fish. Okay. They had too many, so they said, Qantas, do you want these? Yeah, right. Followed up by a McDonald's filet-o-fish. Okay. They had too many, so they said, Qantas, do you want these? Oh, right. And they stopped giving them out. And to finish up, a crockenbush. Perfect. I forget what that is.

Yeah. But I reckon it was something they did on Great Australian Bake Off one time. Big time. Yeah, they definitely would have done a crockenbush. So, thank you so much to Myra, Isaac, Brittany, Kat, Kyla, Ash, Jack, Fahad, and Stefan. You are all so beautiful. And if you're anywhere near as beautiful as your names, oh, my God. I don't even think I'd be able to look at you.

And now the last thing we need to do is welcome a few people into our Triptych Club. Now, Jess, you're very good at explaining what this is. I am. Thank you. The Triptych Club is an exclusive club where if you've supported us um on patreon on what level is it again it's on the no shout out level shout out level or above yes for three consecutive years you are inducted into this exclusive club where we've got bands playing we've got drinks and snacks and uh all sorts wonderful things. You get to hang out.

It's a beautiful place. I'm behind the bar. I'm preparing stuff for you. Dave books a band. Matt is on the door. He lifts the velvet rope and he welcomes people in. Dave hypes them up. I hype Dave up.

Matt tears us all down. Whoa, hang on. But, you know, he thinks he's helping. I'm helping. We keep saying it's not actually helpful. You're being pretty negative. I am helping, is what I heard there. And, Dave, who have you booked for the band for the after party?

Well, we've had a classic Australian story this week, classic 70s story. So we've got a classic 70s band that I've somehow booked. Obviously, I booked this months in advance, so it's just lined up just this way. Welcome to the stage, The Angels. Oh, my God. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na.

Is that Angels? It is Angels. And are they playing with Doc fronting them? He has obviously passed on, and they're still going with Dave Gleeson, is it, from Screaming Jets? Dave Gleeson is banned from the venue. Is he? So, Doc's in.

We've got the classic lineup. The classic lineup. That is very exciting. And Jess, what have you come up with cocktail-wise this week? Cocktail-wise, I am building a bomb. Okay. But I'm asking about cocktails now. It's like a Jager bomb, but it's better.

Whoa. And I can't- Even better than a Jager bomb. I won't tell you what the ingredients are because I'm still in the lab trying to perfect it. Yep. But I will be serving everyone's food in like aeroplane tray kind of style. That's a beautiful touch. Just for like a theme, just for a bit of fun.

I love that. Yeah. But the cocktail bomb, it will be ready shortly. I've just got to clean up a bit of a mess I that yeah but the the cocktail bomb it will be ready shortly i'm just i've just got to clean up a bit of a mess i made is one of the ingredients diet coke yes diet pepsi and it's not it's it's pretty good it's pretty good it fizzes up all right so are we ready to bring them in yes ready dave you got the golden tonsils warmed up? Me-me-ma-moo. That's a yes. Jess, as a radio professional, how did that stack up to what you see?

Insufferable. Yeah, okay. And perfect for radio. All right, here we go. I'd love to thank and welcome in from Havertown in Pennsylvania. It's Colin Campbell. No preamble. It's Colin Campbell. Get him in. From North York in Ontario, Canada, it's Colin Campbell. No preamble. It's Colin Campbell. Get him in.

From North York in Ontario, Canada, it's Canadian Allison. Well, this week, your honorary Australian Allison. Yeah, welcome aboard, Cobber. From Helston Park in New South Wales, Australia, it's Carl Setter. I will not settle, but I will setter Carl Setter. Yeah, Carl Setter. From Oslo in Norway It's Christian Nordheim Let's move this night

Fordheim Yes Let's keep it going Christian From Arlington in Virginia In the United States It's Jason M Jason M M standing for

My favourite Jason My favourite Jason From Carlisle in Great Britain It's Maisie and Beth Walby Maisie and crazy Beth is the best. Woo! Both Welby. You make me feel Welby.

Does that work? You've done enough. From Yakult in Washington in the United States, it's Ben T. Ben T. T standing for Ben. The best Ben I know. You're a real probiotic. Yakult? From Vancouver. I joined that cult.

From Vancouver in Canada, it's Josh Angle. Josh Angle, an anagram of Josh Angel. You're my angel. Beautiful from any angle. From Manchester. Honestly, for fuck's sake. In Great Britain, it's Tess Matthews. More like Best Matthews.

Best Matthews of the biz. From Verona in Pennsylvania in the United States It's Christian Kralik In Fair Verona Two star-crossed lovers, Christian and Kralik Yes Star-crossed with themselves From Maroubra in New South Wales, Australia

It's Lee Parrott Maroubra, Lee Parrott You are not a ferret Why are you on fire today? From address unknown Can only assume from deep within the fortress of the moulds It's Nathan Brown Mr Brown

I assume Oh my god No wonder he's not giving us his address From Romford in England It it's Jim Neal. I see Jim and I kneel down and kiss the ground he walks on. Say, muah, muah, muah, muah, Jim's feet. From Leeds, Leeds, Leeds, Leeds, Leeds in Great Britain, it's A Mason, doesn't specify which.

A standing for A Fantastic Mason. Yes. From Madison in New Jersey in the United States, it's David J. Breimer. David J. Breimer, J standing for just my best friend, David Breimer. From Calgary, home of the Stampede in Canada, it's Harrison Willing. I am willing to let you into this club to start the party. Come on in. I'm hot for you, Harrison Willing, like a Calgary flame.

Matthew, you did a good one. From Middelfart in Denmark, it's Mikkel Henzey-Peterson. Mikkel, they ain't fickle. It's Mikkel Henzey-Peterson from Middelfart. Let's say it again. From, sorry, that's it. I'd love to thank Mikkel, Harrison, David, Mason, Jim, Nathan, Lee, Kristen, Tess, Josh, Ben, Maisie and Beth, Jason, Christian,

Carl, Canadian, Alison, Colin. What a crop. What a crop. Bloody hell. What a beautiful crop that was. Beautiful, gorgeous crop. What a sexy crop. This crop is sexy. Beautiful, gorgeous crop. What a sexy crop. Oh, this crop is sexy.

Oh, my God. Grab yourselves a bomb and get ready for the stylings of the angels. You're all angels in our hearts. Are you still trying to take over, Dave Singh? And that brings us to the end of the episode. I agree that they are angels. What do we need to tell them just before we send them off? If you would like to suggest a topic, you can do so.

There's a link in the show notes. It's also on our website, which is dogoonpod.com. You can find us on all social media at dogoonpod. And I don't know when this one's coming out, but we have some shows on. Come see them. Come see us. Dave, now boot this baby home.

We'll be back next week with another episode, Rain, Hail or Shine. But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening and goodbye. Later. Bye. Yeah, Rain, Hail or Shine because, like, weather doesn't really impact podcasts that much. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, it could be raining outside and it doesn't really matter. Bit negative, Jess.

I'm trying to support Dave and here we go just gaslighting him. I'm going to kill you. Gas bagging him. Sandbagging him. I love you all. Bye. Sliding him. I'm going to kill you. Gas bagging him.

Sand bagging him. I love you all. Bye. But see, this is why I get uncomfortable as soon as I'm regular enough at a cafe that they're like, skinny latte? I'm like, well, I've got to go. I'm never coming back here again. Yes. Have I said this on the podcast before?

I was telling someone this yesterday when I went to the fish and chip shop near where I used to work. And I reckon I went there once a week, once every couple of weeks. But I went in there and the guy said, Dave. And I said, oh, you remember my name? And he goes, of course I do. You come in here every day. And I was like, what?

Around these parts, we call you everyday Dave. Well, you just lost yourself a customer because I was too embarrassed to ever go back again. Yeah. I definitely didn't go in every day. No. And you haven't been – it's where you used to work. You haven't been in there for quite a while.

Yeah, that's right. I will not be going back. You're here every day, Dave. I saw you yesterday. I think there's another day, but it looks like it. But there's only one cafe near work that is open on the weekends. So you have to go in. So I go there, and I work weekends.

And they know, know oh it's weekend jazz i know and the problem is they all of their like baked treats and and and little sweet stuff is all gluten-free which is great because my colleague is celiac so part of our like saturday beautiful for a boy or girl part of our saturday routine why does she need to be gluten free part of our little saturday ritual routine is we both work together on saturdays is i get us these little um gluten-free gingerbread people and it's a delicious little treat but now they know that i come in and i get an iced latte and and gingerbread every time and so i'll order the coffee and they're like and the gingerbread and i just feel like they're not both for me. But I have to keep going.

That's funny. I think I definitely understand that but I would only feel that when it's a place that I feel shame about eating there. Yeah. If it was like fast food or something. Yeah. But at a cafe getting a coffee, I'd kind of enjoy that. Yeah, you're right.

Maybe not enjoy strong but i'd be you know it'd be nice to if they're nice anyway yeah maybe i need to reframe well i don't know maybe only one of them has ever made that comment of any gingerbread today the others just go yep and put it through but i still feel the need to justify like my so once they're for my colleague um she it's a treat we have a We work week at, oh, God. It's a spiral. I think maybe I'm just realising I have inappropriate relations with some cafe people sometimes.

I remember when me and Evan and a few others here at Stupid Old at the old studio, we'd regularly go to this cafe at the end of the street. And when the person who was our regular and was so nice they were leaving we made them a card a going away card and stuff that's nice and yeah i don't know that was nice that place had a tally on the wall of evan and matt of how many like how many coffees you'd paid for or whatever wasn't it or owed or something like that something like that yeah though that was so nice, but I mean- A card is nice.

But doesn't that make you feel weird? Wouldn't that be the equivalent if you were there, you'd be like, you would have left there long ago. Oh, yeah. Probably, before your name was on the wall. Yeah, I would have. But I think that's sweet. Do you remember in Dublin, Matt just starts talking to the guy

about how beautiful his eyes were? Oh, yeah. I couldn't believe no one else had noticed. I've never seen eyes like those. I've never seen eyes that blue. I forgot all about that. Oh, wow. But you were both like, you were sort of agreeing with me,

but then after, like, I didn't seem that. No, he had nice blue eyes. But imagine if we'd said, no, they're shit house. But he was like, he's like, no one's ever said that before. I'm like, you're kidding me. That was very good. What a fun detour there. We can wait for clean water solutions.

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