Do Go On - 392 - History's Worst Popes

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

This week Dave takes us on a whistle stop tour through some of history's wildest, weirdest and wackiest Popes, all on the way to talking about a man who was possibly the wildest of them all... Pope Benedict IX, the only person to become Pope on three seperate occasions and the only person to ever SELL the Papacy. This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 03:41 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our new merch! : https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​  Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.ranker.com/list/wild-papacy-of-pope-benedict-ix/genevieve-carltonhttps://www.thevaticantickets.com/vatican-city-facts/ https://www.britannica.com/topic/papacyhttps://www.insider.com/who-was-the-youngest-pope-2017-1https://www.catholic.org/encyclopedia/view.php?id=1705https://manchesterhistorian.com/2015/three-strikes-youre-out-the-scandalous-life-of-pope-benedict-ix/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at doogawonpod.com. Dark Spots game over. This visibly fades all types of dark spots and visibly reduces the look of dark spots in just one week. The bright reveal SPF 50 daily UV lotion visibly reduces the appearance of dark spots and resist sun-induced signs of aging.

It also has vitamin C and E to help protect against environmental damage caused by free radicals. Visit Target Online and in-stores to buy yours today. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career and a rewarding field with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career

evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. MycomputerCoreer.edu Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On, my name is Dave Warnke and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hey how good is it to be alive, Thanks so much for having me on your show.

Thanks for being here on our show. Yeah, thanks for coming on. You're the first guest ever. And we're new to this. The best guest ever. Yeah, okay. Well, it's great to start a new podcast with you too. What we usually do with our guests,

so even though you are the first one, is ask them to explain what the show is. Okay. Maybe you can just create a concept for a show right now. Yeah. And we'll just go with it. our guests, so even though you are the first one, is asked them to explain what the show is. I hope so. Maybe you can just create a concept for a show right now. Yeah. And we'll just go with it. I, um, because we're gonna record a bunch of episodes before we release it.

Maybe we should put this one out later. Maybe in a three, nine, two, something like that. Okay. Yeah. We'd know what a pick, but yeah. I mean, that's ambitious. That's a lot of podcasts. That is.

I can't imagine what psychos would do podcasting for that long. Well, I do seven years at podcasts. I've set the whole day aside for recording. So I think we should get through a few. Yeah, right. Yeah. Anyway, what I thought maybe this show could be about is maybe one of the three of us learns about a topic. Maybe it's been suggested by listeners if we ever get any listeners. And then you know we'll go away learn about it, write it up into some sort of a report, bring it back and tell the other two while they listen, you know, politely. It's interesting that you're a guest on this podcast, but

you've set aside an entire day and you've just you've talked about this like you're going to be on every episode. Well, that's my work ethic. Yeah, one in all is. Yeah. You're on this a yes to guest spots if you can do the show forever from now. Can I love that idea? Love that so much? Can I add to it? Sure. I think it would be interesting if we got on to the topic with a question. That's a great idea. I feel like you've both contributed something to the show. So maybe I should try and do the topic that you were talking about. Yeah, that'd be great.

Obviously, this is straight from the top of my dome. Yeah. I haven't had time to do any of the research. No, of course not. So, you just have to be able to talk about something that I know a lot about. Great. So this is hopefully going to make some sense.

What about a question like, over the last 2,000 years, let's say, approximately, we're going to think up or down. 260 men have held what position? Ooh, this has gotta be the cut of the San Cuda football club. Okay. Coach of the San Cuda football club. Yeah, you've had quite a few over the last 2000 years. Your position was doggie?

Yes. Only 260 men. And here they are now the hall of home. Um, 2000 years. 2000 years and that's kind of that lie alarm. You're in the ballpark. Pope. Pope is correct. Pope. You're gonna do an episode about Pope. Pope? Well, the particular Pope we're talking about was suggested by two people, and thank you so much to Abby from Vancouver and Canada and Will Cardulo from Christian Berg Virginia who suggested that I talk about Pope Benedict the ninth. Oh, yeah. Yep, yep. It's either one who come up with the eggs. Yes.

And what a legacy. Or an egg-a-se. Oh, good. Thank you. I really hope this isn't what the show becomes. Oh, from the dome. Oh, from the dome. I can't believe you've just got this locked and loaded,

ready to go straight from the dome. Well, how about I give you a bit of context from the dome? Please. About the, about, about, about, the Pope. Also known as Supreme Pontif. Pontifex Maximus, or Summers Pontifex. They're all really good, but also... It just doesn't feel right. You know, I'm a servant of God and Jesus and stuff.

I am Pontifus Maximus, you know? That's not a lot of humility to that. No, well, they're also known as the Bishop of Rome, or historically the patriarch of Rome and head of the worldwide Catholic church. Now, both of you had a bit of Catholicism growing up, so the Pope. We're familiar with the Pope, yes. Yes. Don't know him personally.

Favorite Popes. Favorite Popes. When I was a kid, it was John Paul Young. Yep. It's John Paul Young, love is in the air. John Paul Young. John Paul Young. Yeah, it's John Paul Young, love is in the air. It's John Paul Young. John Paul Young, but he was one of those, I think it was sort of like, I'll just put the second where he'd been in forever.

And it's saying he would always be there. He was the John Howard of Popes. Yes. Yeah, as a kid, he was the only prime minister we knew. But then all of a sudden, like since he's gone, it feels like I could breathe for the first time. That feels like there's been a heap of them since then, but maybe they haven't been three or four in the last 20 years. Is it two? Two? Okay. Is it? Yeah, okay. Okay. Well, that's what it feels like three or four. Yeah, when you're only having one. That's like a weather thing, you know. Okay. Well, that's what it feels like three or four. Yeah, when you only have one.

That's like a weather thing, you know? Yeah. Sure, it's 25 degrees, but it feels like 20. Yeah. Okay, there's Benedict's. The 18th? No. I lie.

16th. He's the one that retired on top. Right. Went out on top. Yeah. With a great average. Yeah. Rebellious by Pope Francis, who's still. Okay, there's been two. Yeah, with a great average. Yeah, replace by Pope Francis who's still I got this thing too

Because that feels like the job was around till 2005. Yeah, right. So he was he was around since time in 70 So he was around for a long time the word Pope derives from the Greek papas meaning father. Yeah, love it Papa Papa and they still call that Pope or some people call them Papa Francesco. There's a movie coming out like what the time recording many years into the future, but you got your finger on the Hollywood pulse. Yeah, Russell Crowe is in some movie called The Pope's Exorcist, which I don't know anything about, but just the photos and the posts I'm saying looks pretty sick. He's getting around on a mo-ped. Oh. I've just looked it up in the top thing that comes up, the article from the Guardian three

days ago. Vatican Exorcists denounce Russell Crowe's Pope's Exorcist. Okay. That is a complicated sentence. I don't, I honestly didn't get it. I didn't understand that sentence at all. So the real Pope's Exorcists say this movie is not like us. No, that's a hack, Exorcist.

That's not what we do. The Pope really has Exorcists. Yeah, that's apparently so. Okay, right. Right here. Here we go. It's a horror movie. There you go.

But yeah, there's, you say what do we know about Pope's? There's something about a chimney. Smoke. Smoke definitely comes in a play. Yeah. There's a boss. One of them, there was an assassination attempt and he forgave a guy That would be John Paul the second right. Oh, Papa. They are the Pope mobiles bulletproof I'm a bill. Yes, they don't quite have that much faith

That was like that was like a Topical news joke that was made a lot at the time when it was announced as evidence, but oh, Interesting. I really believe he's got faith in bulletproof glass. Yeah. Yeah. Which we all do. Which God made God our stuff's good Um found God to blow out the back for on the car easy Catholic dot org rights because I didn't have the Catholic background So I've done a bit of digging into the the whole role of Pope and a bit of history as we build up to figure up Scientologists. Yes. And I'm his son. No, yep, I can see it. And his moon. You're everything to him. Papa Cruz. Papa. Papa. From the Greek for Father Cruz. Father Cruz. Father Cruzmas. So according to Catholic.org, according to Catholic tradition, Jesus founded the papacy in the first century when he chose St. Peter, the leader of the apostles to be his earthly

representative. Jesus is said to have given the keys of heaven, naming him as the rock upon which the church would be built. So he's carrying the church would be built. So he's carrying the whole thing this guy. Yeah, I remember all that. That's ringing bells, church bells. That was the best gun.

Yeah, the rock, he was the rock. But he also betrayed Jesus three times before the cock crowed. Remember that? No, that was... Yeah, yeah. That was not mentioned on Catholic.org. When after Judas betrayed him, you know, he's about to get taken down. Jesus predicts it, you're going to betray me three times before the cock crows. And then

and Peter's like, how I never would. I'm so loyal to you. I never would. But then people like he he's trying to avoid association with Jesus because Jesus is in big strife. So he's like, no, I don't, I'm not that, I'm not one of the apostles. I don't know what you're talking about. You're the one of them. And then he says that the third time to the third person and then the cock grows. And he goes, oh my God, I did it. I betrayed him.

Three times before the cock crowed. Wow. It was weird that that cock was following the rail. Anytime now. He's gonna. I am a whiting. That's true. I like it too. Come on, buddy. I am a waiting. That's too. Come on, buddy. Bring on number three. Actually, that technically wasn't a betrayal of that first one. So I have to wait for another one. So all hopes are considered symbolic descendants of

Peter and a thought to hold Peter's chair. Well, I'm a dead star. I'm sitting in the chair. Oh, yes. Since then, there have been more than 260 occupants of the paper office. And in the Czech Republic. Oh, I'm kidding. Since then, there have been more than 260 occupants of the paper office, and in the 2000 years, a lot of crazy stuff has gone down for popes. Chicago Cardinal, Francis George once said, in the church, everything has happened at least once. Okay. Let's try, let's come up with something. For example, a cock is crowed three times, tick it off.

Okay. Okay, well that one seems like pretty doable actually. Yeah, a cute combo. Yeah. Ticket off, okay, okay with that one seems like pretty doable actually. Yeah, you come Flu into the sky white self Then exploded yep and sprayed purple Donuts on to dogs noses Landing perfectly on a dogs nose every time every time I remember August 18th 17

Okay, there you go. That seemed so fantastical. Well, Matt remembers his scriptures from 1781. So we're going to talk about one pope in particular. But on the way there, let me give you some background on pope happenings. It didn't start out great for the first popes. Most of Peter's successes in the first three centuries following his life suffered martyrdom along with members of their flocks in periods of persecution. In fact, 28 of the first 31 popes died as martyrs.

Wow. Because it was frowned upon as a religion for a while, isn't it? Following Christ. That's right. But then according to the New World in Cyclopedia, after Christianity became the favored religion of the Roman emperors in the fourth century. The papacy was involved in a period of close interaction with the rulers of the West, while often struggling for supremacy with the Eastern emperors and patriarch of Constantinople. So they were getting martyred, then they came into favor.

And then, the great favor comes great power. In medieval times, popes played powerful political roles in Western Europe, crowning emperors, ruling the papal states, and regulating disputes among secular rulers. So it was a very powerful position indeed, and with great power comes great responsibility, and always great corruption. Absolutely power corrupts absolutely. Could not agree more discuss. That's something, it's just a term I coined. Wow. I don't really understand what it means, but hopefully someone, like any art, I think it's up to the art receiver to put meaning onto it.

I don't think the artist has any responsibility. Is that what you call the listens of this podcast art receiver? I don't receive it. Receive my art. Shut up and receive. Follow us on Twitter if you like. Probably Instagram more than you.

Yeah, we should set up a Twitter account. Yes. I say if it's available, do go on pod. We should talk about it. So total. Because you said something like that at the start. Well, we can move. Let's start with the go on pod and then work back with some of the.

Okay. We'll come over the name that makes sense. You've already registered the handle in email. You got the email? Yeah, some of that. Okay. We'll come over the name that makes sense. You've already registered the handle and email. You got the email? Yeah, I got the email. Okay. Go get a mail, I don't know what it is, but it's the one I've got.

It's a hot new thing. Yeah, it's a hot new mail. Let me tell you about some crazy probes I've come across. John the 12th became Pope in 955 when he was just 18. And shortly thereafter, he turned his residence into a brothel and gambled with church offerings. He was accused of both homicide and incest. Now how are we how are we getting it an 18 year old Pope? How do they oh it's the smoke? Yeah he gets the smoke all the way back there. I'm gonna talk a bit about how the

Pope's get chosen and how that's changed over time But back during this time it wasn't as formal. What was his his name? That was John John the 12th and what year is this? 955 so he's a he's a party boy Immediately turns it into a brothel. Can you not see that being a film where one of the blue she's plays him? Oh, yeah, You know? Yes! Greenlit from me. Yeah. John, bring him back. Yeah.

John the 12th. I don't know if Jim could pull him off. No, I don't think he could. Well, no, he did say incest, so maybe he could. So the joke there was, I was saying Jim couldn't pull him off the character. Oh, I see. But it also sounds like, couldn't pull off John.

Pull him off, John. His brother. His brother and Dave did say that John was involved in the incident. Oh my God, this might be the first ever episode, but can I just say you've done it again? Incredible. I think jokes always work best, something we should always do this when they had pain fleek splined after. The look of a shock on your face is why Jess and I paused, because I thought you were

maybe referencing some sort of controversy on your personal life that I've forgotten. I don't remember this bit. It was just a joke about wanking off his brother. That's fine. Oh, that's all right there. Setting the tone for this show for the next few years. So John the 12th is the Pope, he's a party boy, he's gambling, he's got it, he's making the residents

of the Pope at brothel, he's killing people, he's doing it in zest. According to the website Insider, which has an article I'll link to about some, Wild Pope's John the 12th actually met his demise because of a trist. A jealous husband discovered his wife in bed with the Pope, and the man proceeded to severely beat up the Pope,

and he died three days later from his injuries. Whoa. So can you imagine the current Pope doing that? No. I can't picture him. So it's hard to imagine him doing anything. I'm a Francesco. Ah, Papa Francesco. Is he the South American person? Yes, what's his name?

Jorge Mario Bagoglio, I think that's his name. Oh my god, that is a fantastic name. The fuck? Incredible. Why do you go with Jorge? Where's he from? Argentina and maybe, right? He is from Argentina. How long has he been Pope? See the one I saw?

Ah, you saw a Pope? He might have been the one I saw. You probably would have been. When did you see a Pope? Since 2013, the last 10 years coming up to... It was just so about a 10 years. Yeah, he was new at the time and that I went traveling in 2013.

He was took over in March, so this is probably... Yeah, it was August. Did you go on some sort of a pilgrimage? No, I was just in Rome. A Pope can take you to when in Rome, hey. I went up. See the Pope. Pope take you to her. I mean, you guys were all having a go. Oh, I never got one. That was great fun. Pope take you. Pope take you. Bit of fun. Kisses you on the hand. I'm taking you. Pope Tiki.

Bit of fun. Kisses you on the hand. Oshante. To a couple of lines off his hand. Yeah. But not out. Join the brothel. Fantastic.

Oh no, this is a different one now. So that was John the 12th. Okay. Then I want to tell you about Sixtus, the fourth. Sixtus, the fourth. Sixtus, the fourth. Sixth. At least, this is in 1471.

There's probably been more. But how does it be? Sixth, the sixth. There's already been. So it would mean 12 Johns in 1955 or something. That's why they had to start going with John Paul. Because there's so many Johns. John Paul, Ringo, obviously.

There was also a six-year-old. There was a six-year-old. The fifth, tell me there's one. There's got to be a six-year-old. There's got to be a six-year-old. That's up for grabs. I'm going to start campaigning. Campaigning now for me to be the next Pope. Yep. And that's going to be my papal name. Sixth is the six. If that's up for grabs, I'm gonna start campaigning. campaigning now for me to be the next pope.

Yep. And that's gonna be my papal name. Six is the six. Six is the six. And I'll say I knew him before he was papal. Nope, there has not been a six is the six. Oh, okay. Vote for me.

Vote for me for Pope. That's kind of how that used to do it. Yeah, but 18 year old just, he just campaigned or something. Or probably powerful family That's what it was all about back then who you knew not what you knew for example God It was who you knew for example God isn't that it's because the particular thing is it's meant to be God's like on field Representatives like a captain coach almost you know that to put it in terms that we all understand yeah

He's like you're full back You know, to put it in terms that we all understand. Yeah. He's like, you're a full back. You're a liable guy. I can see the whole field back there. Yeah, you're made field. A marshalling troop. You're David Beckham number seven.

For the reliable, in a penalty shootout. Like, I think it's like in the barboard, I don't know if it's in the ball, but I think that's the belief of Catholics is that they are the direct representative god. They have the ear of God or whatever. But the way that they're picked is so random, at least it used to be. Now they obviously use the chimneys and that's palatable.

You've got a chimney system. Yeah. That's full, poor. Chimney never lies. No. That's actually their motto. So political now, I think it's all voting and maneuvering to try and get your votes. But they may as will just be like,

I didn't write down the name of the Pope, but so I was gonna talk about the way that she was a Pope, but while I was thinking of it, I did read, one Pope was chosen when basically, now everyone votes, and everyone has to vote, but often like in a game of survivor or something, it's anonymous, but people will write down, someone they don't think will win,

like, oh, that guy, he's just joined, he's just become a cardinal, he'll never win, I'll write his name down to see who everyone else is voting for yeah but then one time everyone did that and they all the majority accidentally voted for someone they didn't want yeah Chris and the corner Chris but they read out the votes like Chris I'm afraid you the new part of it was like I've even Chris is like, no. Come on. Come on. I'm just here for the cushy job.

I just do admin. It was a good pick. Mario. I book a meeting rooms and stuff. Oh, sorry Chris. Sorry Chris, we all wrote your name down as a joke. And that's what God wanted, I guess. God was in on it.

Yeah. So, six to the fourth, elected in 1471, apparently had six illegitimate children, including one with his own sister. He also made almost his whole family cardinals to keep it all in the family. Perfect. So they would vote for who he wanted, what he wanted. But he did order the creation of the Sistine Chapel and the Vatican library, so his legacy lives on.

Right. But yeah, it does seem like incestors are common thread so far. Yeah, quite a few incestial popes. The life of Pope Formosis was suggested as its own topic by a person we've met before, 10 in Ennis from Ireland, who wrote when he suggested this now living in New Zealand, which I didn't realize so too. Yeah, they're in New Zealand now.

Hope you're living in New Zealand. He suggested the unusual trial of Pope Formosis as his own episode. This is what he wrote. Great words, I'm just going to quote from Tinen. It is one of the most unusual trials in history. The reason Pope Formosa's had been dead and buried for seven months before being dug up, dressed in Pope robes, and propped up on a seat to sit his trial. Pope Stephen VI replaced him, wanted to humiliate his predecessor and even when as far as having a young boy hide behind the corpse and admit to the crimes.

Pope's were wild! Wow! For Moses was found guilty of perjury that day and his body was tossed into the Tyber River. So he was buried, dug up, then put him back, they threw him in the river. And later someone else recovered and gave him another burial. So got buried again. And the guy that did all that, Stephen. We can't at Popeys.

Yeah, they really had to pretend. Stephen the Six on the other hand, the one who set up the trial. He was eventually in prison then strangled to death by supporters of the Moses. Oh my God. That was a wild period of papacy. Pepa C. It just, it feels like an underworld gang. Yeah, what about the first female Pope?

Pope Joan. That's what the bars named after. Oh, that yeah, Pope Joan. Yes. I know there's a cafe, is there also a bar? There's a cafe. I don't know it. Used to be on, um, anyway, there's a tedious tedious on because the street nothing that moved to the city or something

Pope Joan great eggs Benedict really Good on him this episode brought to you by Pope Joan Cafe and Pope I also didn't realize until I did this This report map that's what they're referring to Pope Joan you guys haven't heard of her Most versions of her story describe her as a talented and learned woman who disguised herself as a man, often at the behest of a lover. In the most common accounts, owing to her abilities,

she rose through the church hierarchy and was eventually elected Pope. Her sex was revealed when she gave birth during a procession and she died. Oh, what's that? Oh dear. Oh, your Pope ship. There's a blood on your right. Oh Your poop ship there's a blood on your right. There's a child coming out of you the Pope's waters have broken

Miracle Yeah, surely surely you'd try at least wouldn't he? Miracle has occurred. Oh, yeah, the Pope wow first first Pope to give birth There there it is and she died shortly after, either through murder or of natural courses. Oh, one of those. One of the two. Bicum. Britannica writes, supposedly she ran under the title of John VIII for slightly more than

25 months from 855 to 858, between the pontificates of a cent leo IV and Benedict III. It has been subsequently proved that a gap of only a few weeks falls between Leo and Benedict and the story sadly is entirely apocryphal. But it seems like it was commonly believed for a few centuries. Pope John was commonly thought of as the first female to be Pope. An apocryphal means.

One of those stories that sadly it ain't true. It's dead. It's told like it is, but it's not. And widely believed for at least for a while. Yeah, wow. But these days everyone's like, ah, it's a good story. And bar. All cafe. One of the two. You could put a little bit of a little whiskey on your eggs Benedict if you're feeling it. Yeah. If you're feeling like something to scatter. I've also never heard of the term antipope before. We heard of an antipope.

I assume it's a, it's like, it looks like the Pope, but he's wearing black robes. Money said. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. Is that it? The Pope's kryptonite. Yeah.

Antipope. It's someone who opposes the, the, I think the electric bishop. You need if a Pope bites you. Prepare the anti-Pope. Does silly. So someone says the silliest episode we've ever done. I'm ready.

Is it the first one? Yeah. So therefore the silliest by default, but also the best by default. Yes. Thank God. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Beautiful. I remember this is right from the top of my own. Yeah. Daystone. I remembered anti-Pope. So like, I hadn't thought of that. I remember this is straight from the top of my own. It's, yeah, day soon. I remembered anti-popes. I'm like, I hadn't thought of that. You remember the pocophanes in.

So you're doing great. So anti-pope, someone is like, that's not the pope. I'm the pope. Whoa. And over the centuries, there has been quite a lot of people to do that. I've seen you, see you've played Nathie Popey before.

That's not a pope. I'm a pope. According to Britannica, it's generally considered that there are at least 37 anti-Popes from the year 217 to 1439. And from then, I guess we've just stopped counting. But at least 37 of people said, whoa, whoa, they're not the Pope, I'm the Pope. One anti-Pope will play a role in our story today.

But before that, we're going gonna talk about where the Pope lives. The Pope has absolute authority over Vatican City, which is an independent state located within Rome. Jesse, you've obviously been there and met Papa Francesco himself. Yes, definitely. It wasn't just that I just saw him on a balcony. Did he, I dress you all in,

last and then, or something? In Italian. It was a Sunday, and he was, I didn't realize he was in town. I thought he was away. I also didn't realize it was Sunday. Like, I wasn't know what to say, or something. In Italian, it was a Sunday. And I didn't realize he was in town. I thought he was away. I also didn't realize it was Sunday. Like I wasn't there on purpose. I was just sort of looking around.

You looked up at a window and you're like, Oh, there he is. I looked, I was like walking around the Vatican City, having a look around. And then there was just heaps of heaps of people in this big square. And he was up on a balcony doing a little sermon thing. Fantastic.

And I was like, that's the frickin pipe Did you stick around? Well, it was an Italian so yeah, it seems like this is great, but also I got bits bits and pieces I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, fantastic brothers and sisters I'm not a banny he wants a migrator. I will organize that wait there Yeah, then I went and got a pizza. I forgot to bring bring it back to it. Oh no, he's still standing there. He's still waiting. Have you been to the Vatican, Matt? No.

We've been to an Irish pub outside the Vatican. Yes, there's one that you can get great view of the Pope. No, I've only been to Italy for half a day. I was just like a passing through on it. Passing through on a train. I think I was just a stop, a caramable wire, but yeah, I think I was a moiter. Austro or something. I loved it, Ellie. We've been to Ellie. Yes, a couple of times. I went to the

Vatican last year. I was two a god of every experience. Wow. And it was kind of amazing because I was there. My wife and family were gearing up for a tour of the Vatican and a lady comes out and she goes, oh, sorry, I don't usually do the tours, but I've been called upon. Proceeds to stand in front of a diagram of the assistant chapel, incredible knowledge. We were like, this is straight from the top of her, don't we? Wow. She was so knowledgeable and then the regular tour guide turns up five minutes in and goes, don't worry, I'm here and the other lady goes, okay, I'll leave you to the normal person. And then the regular person starts out by saying, I'm not just some normal tour guide, I'm

also a comedian. And she was awful. So overall, like, bring back the first lady. She was so good. Which, which she in Italian local? She wasn't Italian lady. It's a comedian. Yeah. Yeah. Doing a bit of comedian del latte. Yeah. I said no thank you. But it wasn't, it didn't play to the room. No, most half the tour got including us left early. Wow. It's walked away.

Oh, that's brutal. That is brutal. You do get a lot of like, even in Australia you get a lot of comedians working in places where they do tours and gods. But I think the best thing you can do is not announce yourself as a comedian. But Thiffing's, I don't think she was a comedian, I thought she was just telling everyone,

I'm like, I'm not like her, I'm funny. Yeah, and then she was awful. Oh, it sucks. But still a fantastic person visit. No, Poe. Oh man, what a terrible trip, what a waste of your time. Just saying antipope? Yes. Oh, it was this tour guide.'s terrible. That's not a tour guide. I'm the tour guide. So Vatican City was established in 1929 as the smallest independent country in the world. Well, an area of 49 hectares or 121 acres and in 2019 a population of about 453. It is the smallest state in the world both by area and population a few hundred more people live there But don't have citizenship so I counted in that number

We're men account for only 5.5% of the citizenry of Vatican City cleaners and This one tour got Despite their tiny population Vatican City has its own flag anthem currency postal system and Vatican City has its own flag, Anthem, currency, postal system, and rail road station, which has the shortest rail track in the world at only 300 meters, and it's only used to ferry goods from one place to another. It also manages its own telephone and telegraph services, publishes its own newspaper, and official monthly journal.

It's even got its own radio station. Get out! You've got a casting live from there. From the fam. Powerful transmitters are used to beam Vatican radio called the Pope's voice to a global audience, and this is according to the BBC, but the station has faced allegations that it transmissions have been putting lives at risk in a Rome suburb by exceeding Italy's electromagnetic radiation standards.

What? Claims the Vatican denies. Their broadcast is too powerful. I get that. Uh, that's wild. Are there any jobs going? Yeah. Get in there. How would you, what would it sound like, Bob? Well, I'm just trying to think of like what, what song was would be playing? What if God? What is it? Just a strange, uh, uh, uh, How does she come up with such great wrong? incredible Yeah, no, I think that would be one. Yep

Probably the band god you'd play a lot of this stuff. Yeah, preachers preachers will be on there Harkly herald angel sing oh, yeah, yeah, that might be in there year round. Yep Christmas somewhere. I remember this song that really went off a church when I was a kid was called Jubilee Jubilee sing Jubilee Jubilee And I know you are there with your wonderful care and we'll sing

with your wonderful care and we'll sing it. And then do the. But you don't know what you had for dinner last night. No, I remember that. Very frustrating. What the brain holds on to. Let's use the point to me as well. But the only song I remember from Ari, religious eduacism was of course a cover of

Pharaoh Pharaoh. Ooh baby, let my people go. Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god. Wow. That's what just rent frame my head for. Closing it on 30 years. That's great. Why did you do R.A.

Didn't get it in my public primary school. Yeah, right. Different time. Well, maybe they still do that now. Is that the thing where they there was they sent reverends around or whatever? Give my being option. Optional reverend for a school.

We had to do R.A. up until the last two years of school because then yeah, you're doing your VCA subjects. Yes. We had to, yeah. Right on. Got taught by a brother. Did you? Oh, actually, I did R.A.

I think we must have had to do it in year 11. Good, I did it. I might as well, actually. Anyway, this is a tedious side. I once made a bet with the brother in year 11, R.A. The camera was about. The bet with the brother. I met a brother, but the brother.

But it was like, I was so sure about some, I was like some historical, astray, political thing. And I was wrong. But I know bet 10 bucks and I brought it in the next day. I'm like, they're in square. He's like, I'm glad you paid up your debt, but I can't take your money. Oh, because of God.

A lesson was learned here today. You can gamble with brothers and you can't lose. Yeah. Double and nothing. So the Vatican City is protected by a contingent of Swiss guards responsible for the personal safety of the Pope. Since 1506, there are currently around 135 of them. New recruits have to be men between 19 and 30 over 5 foot 8, which is 174 centimeters to qualify. So unfortunately, we're all out. They also need to have a military background be unmarried and be Roman Catholic. Yeah, we're all too old

Sorry, I'm too short. So what are they then like retired as soon as I hit 30? Nothing you can if you're already in you can work till 40 Jesus Christ you can't start and so Matt's too old, but he's the right height right heart and unmarried and a Roman Catholic They're right fantastic baptizes Well, baptized as one. And has a military background. Yes. That's right. My pop was in the army.

So I mean, the background goes away. Yeah. Great. That's rubbed off on you. Yeah, of course. I mean, my grandpa that I never met died before I was born. He was also in the army. So we both got army background.

You're not a true background. You could see there. You know, it's my life. You know, it's my life. You know, it's tripping AK-47. Yeah, he was an accountant. Keeping track of the AK-47s. Yeah. Before him was called the AK-46. Rounded it up. Anyway, they called the Swiss Guard because in the middle ages, it became a tradition to recruit Swiss mercenaries as a special military unit. The Swiss soldiers were famous for their military professionalism, you see. They're actually independent of Switzerland, but they're still calling the Swiss guard. But how safe is it there?

Well according to Vatican City Tickets, a tour company's website that I trust. The Vatican. Why would they love it? They wouldn't. They're the same people that saw me. This terrible tour. The Vatican, that's not true. The Vatican is home to less than 800 people, like I said,

but it has the highest crime rate of any country in the world. Wait, what? Can you believe this? Although this is not because it has more crimes than other countries, but because it has more crimes per capita, the crimes are usually carried out

by the millions of tourists that stream through the area every year. The common crimes are shoplifting, personatching, pickpocketing, and the official Vatican tourism website itself asks tourists to be alert at all times. The per capita thing doesn't really play out if it is happening based on the millions of millions of people. Yes, but if you go, but per capita of citizenship, there are hundreds of crimes you committed with only, per you, with only 800 people here.

So technically, if you were... Right. And it sounds like from what you've been saying, Popes commit a lot of crimes as well. Yes, this is in modern times, but in the past, they definitely have real crimes I've taken place over the centuries as we will get to... It's a little white color crime these days. But even in modern times, there have been some serious crimes. In 1998, Commander of the Guard,

Eloise Estaman and his wife were murdered by Young's Wiscard, Sedric Torne, who later took his own life. The Vatican were very hush, hush about it all, and after a very short internal investigation insisted that the couple were killed by the youngest soldier Torne, who then turned the gun on himself because he was bitter, and having been passed over for a medal. But there have been many theories put forward over the years through books published. Victor Gutard claims in his book, The Agent, Secret DeVatican, that Esterman was murdered after Vatican officials discovered that he had been to spy for the East German Stasi Secret Police in the 1980s.

And that's why they took him out. had been to spy for the East German Starzy Secret Police in the 1980s. That's why they took him out. In another book, God Swiss of Vatican, former Swiss guard Stefan Sappin supports the Vatican's version that Tornay killed the couple in a fit of premeditated madness, but he was prompted by drugs and a tumour on his brain. Whoa. But it's still quite a controversial crime because the Vatican's premeditated madness is interesting. You think of that as being kind of spontaneous

because I'm gonna get so mad soon. Probably tomorrow. I don't really feel like it today. Friday? I don't wanna go bad on it. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm. Monday. I'm already feeling a little angsty. I'll start angsty.

I'll start angsty. I went mad on Monday, took a fruit drink on Tuesday. We were making love by Wednesday. I think this play of Craig Dave will get a bit of play on Pope F. Am. Oh my goodness. I'm walking away from the troubles in my life. Like that. Yeah, yeah.

Beautiful. It's a good message. Walk away. Just walk away. Just walk away. Exactly. From the sins in your life. That's right. To find a better day.

Okay. Really. They also love a tipil at the Vatican. Again, from Vatican City Tickets, it's reported that the residents of the Vatican consume more wine per capita than anywhere else in the world. Is this again just taking in the millions of people that actually isn't happening? Because I don't think there's no open bar there.

People are walking into the Vatican with a big like key couple of wine. No, the average Vatican resident consumes an astonishing 74 liters of wine every year, which is double the consumption of wine capital countries like France and Italy. It's roughly equivalent to 105 bottles per person over the course every year. Right, it's about two bottles a week.

That's not crazy, I suppose. But for everyone, there'd be some drink and less than that. There'd be some children. Oh, yeah. Are there children in the Vatican? I think there are, there's like a small amounts of families like the head Gardner has his whole family living there and other trades people and their whole families that come so but there's not many. Imagine being one of the kids growing up in the Vatican. Yeah they have a there's a school but it's outside in

Rome but that they send all the like a kinder and school that all the kids go do. You're looking at all this I was fascinated by the life of you think you're moving I'm loving it. Could you pod remotely from the Vatican? I think I could. Well, they transmit as a second or not. Do they have a head podcaster there? Yeah. No.

I could move over with my whole family. There you go. Do you need it? Sorry, wait, hey. I think I'm just don't want to double check. You say you can move over this whole family. Oh, that's you. Okay, yeah, great.

My pod family. I'm the head podcaster. I'll have to have my pod family. Whoa, don't My pod family. I'm the head podcaster. I'll have to have my pod family. Whoa, don't I have to have him being the head podcaster? Well, mostly I have to keep up, keep up. Oh, yeah, great. Transmission towers. Yeah, you do that.

All the admin, podmin. I just get to have fun. Pause me. Yeah, great. The podmin. You just get to chat. Great. On Pope FM.

Fantastic. Welcome back to Pope FM. That was Lord. That's good. That's correct. He's another Craig David classic. The country also has an incredible art collection of more than 120,000 different pieces, only 70,000 of the collection are on display at any one time, meaning even for that 70,000, it would take you around 80 days in the building if you spent one minute looking at every single piece That's a lot a lot of time a one minute on each piece Some of them are like plates and stuff you don't need a form

You don't need a form it like but the the system chapel ceiling that needs a good few minutes Yeah, that's that yeah, cup that plate Sorry, I love a decorative plate. I hate him. Give me a plain plate. Okay, let's talk Pope's or a Pope. The oldest Pope. I'm trying to get onto the topic of the Pope. Yeah, great. Or the Pope that I want to talk about.

That's better. I think going for like 40 minutes. Sorry. I think we've been talking about Pope's. Let's talk about the Pope. He'll always be the Pope in my heart. The oldest. It's the sixth. Oh no, that's me. That's you. You will be the sixths of the sixth. Crowned on the sixth of the sixth. 2066. Cisco Tong Song maybe could be quite fantastic.

That's all the long, long, long, long, long. That was Cisco the first. The oldest Pope at election was Adrian the, elected in 772 at age 80. Although today, we're going to talk about one of, if not the youngest and possibly most controversial pope, Pope Benedict IX. These days, the Cardinals picked the next pope as we've been talking about. They set off the white smoke comes out of the chimney when the decision has been made. However, for several centuries, the Roman aristocracy and secular rule has often controlled the process. The College of Cardinals wasn't given the principal right to elect the Pope until 1059, and many would say it's because of this guy Pope

and his ninth and his behaviour. The secular leaders got to choose. That seems quite strange. Yeah, if they just were really powerful. It was like, whoever they liked. Yeah, right. They often had a captain speak. These days, a candidate must win a secret ballot, no matter how long it takes. The longest this process lasted was two years and nine months between 1268 and 1271. During that time, the Cardinals meeting could not agree on a candidate until they were forced to do so by the King of France and other rulers who stepped in and said, this is ridiculous. Just pick someone. We need a Pope. According to the Huffington Post, after that, Pope Gregory X in 1274 established what we know today as the conclave

Latin for with a key in which the cardinals are essentially locked inside a room and in olden times deprived of meals until they settled on a successor. Basically, you're not coming out, you're not eating until you pick someone. I'm not making good decisions when I'm hungry. No. You're desperate.

Honestly, I'd be feeding me. Yeah. Wouldn't you just go for the most delicious looking candidate in that case? It's like going to the supermarket when you're hungry. Oh, bad. Bad cool. You just need milk and you come out with everything.

All these sort of popes. Yeah. Oh, it's different flavor and popes. I only want one pope, no, I've got 10. I don't last that long. Now I'm gonna have to binge all these. Oh, that perishable pope. Binge pope.

In modern times, it usually takes a day or two, never more than a week. I say that it's 1740, it did last six months, so I don't know if they were feeding them or starving them. I'm so, I think it's so fun that there's been multiple popes called Gregory. I think it's so fun. I got to tell you. Gregory. And the least.

Greg, who's the pope now? It's Greg. He's over there. Oh, I'm Greg. Oh my God. There was a Pope Gregory, the 16th. I think it's one of my favorite names. Greg, I'm just got a, there's Greg in, you know, a similar Greg.

Look up, has there been a Pope Keith, my favorite name? Pope Keith. Oh, Keith is fantastic. Sadly, no Pope Keith. Any Gary's? Oh, good question, Pope Gary. Gary's up there. No, but there is some called any Franks.

There would be Francis's for sure. Yeah, yeah. There's many. Pope Francis, which is currently the Pope. That's why we know that. Okay. Yes, that's why we know that. Who is the first?

Yes, the first. First, first, first. So, we got a Frank. Yeah, okay. Fred's. What about Bruce? Oh, Pope Bruce. Pope Bruce.

Pope Bruce. No, but Bruce, Pope, a business owner and consultant, Pope Bruce. Pope Bruce. Pope Bruce. No, but Bruce, Pope of business owner and consultant is on LinkedIn. That's so, okay. That's close to my name. Listen to him, Perth, Western Australia. His claims experience spans for 30 years. His claims, oh, he works in insurance, I guess.

I was gonna say, his claims experience, I thought he was on his own profile saying, he claims his experiences 30 years, but I don't trust this guy. A lot of Pope's, Pope Benedict IX was elected a long time before the other the Cardinals voted. He was very much a captain's pick, a descendant of the powerful Tuscalum family, the ultimate Nepo baby or Nepope baby, if you will. Thank you so much, Pauls for applause. He was the nephew of two previous popes, Benedict XIII and John XIX. They were already up to 19

Johns. Wow. He was the grand nephew of John XII who was the one attacked and killed after being caught in bed by a Jones husband. Sorry, can I jump in because I've just sort of a joke. You know, he said they're already up to 19 Johns. Yes, I just want to jump in there and just say, wow, I mean, they've got a lot of people there. I need a car for you, John's. Need a few, John's.

You need a few, John's? I don't want to be like one of those music festivals with there's not enough John's. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Port Paulu. Now that was worth interrupting for. Oh, that was witty.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, because John means toilet. That's right. That's good. Thank you. I feel really good about it. Anyway, keep going. I guess. I'll check back in. So he's related to at least four previous popes. In fact, this period of history is known as the Tuskeleton Papacy, where from 1012 to 1048, three successive relatives of the counts of Tuskeleton were installed as Pope. But my favorite period of papal history, at least based on brand name alone, was the 10th century known as the Pornocracy. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. A lot of sexy stuff going

on in Pornocracy. Legit. This was the period lot of sexy stuff going on in Pornocracy. This was a period in the history of the papacy during the first two thirds of the 10th century following the chaos after the death of Pope Formosis in 1896, which saw seven or eight papal elections in as many years. But we skipped through the Pornocracy sadly towards the end of the Tuskeleton papacy where our man character, the future Benedict IX was born into a powerful and wealthy Italian family, the Counts of Tuskelem. Who maintained a powerful position in Rome between the 10th and 12th centuries.

He was the son of Elbrich, the third Count of Tuskelem. Through a good old fashioned bribery of the Romans, Elbrich was able to get his son to become the next pope Possibly as young as age 12. That is that is when they say you're an adult in the eyes of the Lord 12 Yeah, you're ready to be Pope. I think that that's why I You do your confirmation at the age 12 Great six because that's when you're an adult in the eyes of the church Right, so they confirmed him and then confirmed him as Pope.

Yeah, same to hate. It's interesting, isn't it? It does feel almost like they don't trust you to still be on board at 18. We're gonna get you now. So it's possible he was 12. Some places say he took over when he was 20, but he was pretty young. We do know that. So he became Pope, Pope Benedict IX.

He's Pope. He tightened his grip on power by excommunicating ecclesiastical leaders He took over money was 20, but he was pretty young. We do know that. So he became Pope Benedict IX. He's Pope. He tightened his grip on power by excommunicating ecclesiastical leaders who were hostiled to him. Anyone who was like, I don't like you. He was like, well, I don't like you. Get out. And he did not have his mind focused on the role.

He reportedly spent lots of money on sex parties, held huge orgies, mocked around with some magic books in brackets, not the Bible. The orgies were reported to involve both men and animals. Okay. But not women. No, and they're God knows. And certainly not female animals. Okay. Okay. Okay, here's the tears of fuckability. Uh-huh. Men. Yes. Animals. All animals, way down the list, dirty, yucky women. And then below them, women animals. I'll leave it at the polls.

Yeah, right, there you go. And you said you sort of separated into two categories there, sex parties and orgies. Where do you draw the line between those two? You personally. I wanted to say that you're spending money on the sex party, so he's hiring a lot of sex workers. And then he's having these huge orgies, which was a free for all, involving everyone, men, animals. Well, I say everyone, not women. Not women. The yuck. Yeah. But so like an orgie is just like the act. Right. But a sex party it also involves not just obviously hiring sex workers,

but also like putting on a spread. Exactly. It's like music. Some ice-breaking games. Yeah, some ice-breaking games, some decorations. Yeah, lighting. Boob balloons and stuff like that. And then people tattles.

Yeah. Boob balloons just so they, with crosses on them, so not a lot. No boobs. No boobs. No boobs allowed. Yuck. So that's what people have written about it. It's hard to know how exaggerated

by a thousand years of time passing this all this. But German historian, Ferdinand Gregorovius, which is a great name. Ferdinand Gregorovius wrote about Benedict, he said, it seemed as if a demon from hell in the disguise of a priest occupied the chair of Peter and profained to the sacred mysteries of religion by his insolent courses. Wow.

So he's saying he's doing weird shit. There's not heaps of writing it about exactly what he did, but lots of people describing it as being really bad. Like Pope Victor III later wrote that Benedict IX had quote, a life as a Pope, so vile, so foul, so excruable that I shudder to think of it. And that's another Pope. That's Pope on Pope. Yeah, normally you don't get Pope on Pope actually, I'm like that. No, but saying that it makes some shudder, that is pretty next level. Yeah. That's full on.

I would never say that about my worst enemy. Really? Make me shudder. No, so that a Pope would go there, to be honest, a bit disappointing. Wow. Yeah. Really expected more from Victor the third. Victor.

Victor. I can't believe these Pope names. He's my third favorite Victor. It's been Pope. After the Moa. Remember when they let a Moa be the Pope Victor Moa? I can't believe these poke names. He's my third favorite Victor. That's been Pope. After the Moa. Remember when they let a Moa be the Pope, Victor Moa, that was ridiculous.

Victor Moa, then Victor the first. Yep, then Victor the third, that's my order. Oh, I see. Wow, sucked in Victor the second. You know what you did. Mm, or didn't do. Didn't invite a six per. Oh, sorry, Victor the second is Victor Moa.

Oh, I see. So't invite her. Sorry. A victory the second is Victor Mawa. Oh, I see. Just be clear. Okay. Even Catholic.org joins in on the pile on writing about Pope Benedict IX. The nephew of his two immediate predecessors, Benedict IX was a man of very different character to either of them.

He was the disgrace to the chair of Peter. Oh, if you disgrace some chairs, then. What has he done on the chair? Oh. You're the death of a creator to the chair of Peter. Oh, if you disgrace some chairs, then... What has he done on the chair? You've desecrated the chair. He's supposed to be holding the chair, and now he's doing something else on the chair. Oh, no. Sniffing the chair?

Oh, that's great. Like that. Perth, politician, did the dishes go? Oh, I don't remember that. I don't think I want to. Sniffed a chair in Parliament. I think he was the opposition leader. I pretty high up. Had to leave after Parliament. I think he was the opposition leader. Yeah. I pretty high up.

Had to leave after that. Yeah, fair. He could no longer hold the chair. Or sniff it. Gant sniff what you can't hold. That's right. Wait a second. You can't even just hover above it.

Yeah, yeah, that's true. Hover and sniff. Hovered above a pie on a window sill? Oh, yeah. I have. Yeah, yeah, floated on the breeze. Yeah, I've done that. I grew up as a cartoon character. Benedict's enemies hated him. And the longer his lavish and wild behavior went on the more they wanted him gone. So they decided to attempt to assassinate him. Does that like if you believe in all of this? Yeah.

Do you have to believe that whoever's the Pope is the genuine Pope? Or if you're like, no, they shouldn't be Pope. They're a fraud. Then it's okay to kill. But otherwise, wouldn't you be but I guess killing God's representative maybe God is getting me to get rid of him. Right. Yeah. that's where it gets tricky. If I do something, then maybe, then obviously I'm actually, he's working through me. Yeah, I don't know.

If that's how you justify it, but they were looking at him going, this is not Pope material. Right, it's not to be honest, it sounds like it is exactly Pope material from what you've described. I don't know why this shop is. I know all the things,

it feels like he's pushed it too far. Right. Also, you gotta remember, like I said, during this time being a pope, very powerful position. So maybe he's not doing a great job, but also people thinking, if I get that job, then I get to be careful. So there is a slight conflict of interest. I love to be powerful. Is that all of a sudden that people want to kill you?

Exactly. It's a slippery slope. Yep. King the Mountain. So that is harder to attempt to assassinate him. Like I said, on a feast day, some assassins snuck into St. Peter's Basilica, each carrying a length of rope that they would use to strangle him. I assume they'd tie them all together and get a really long run. But of course, maybe they'd do it like, you know, like a, where they'll have a shooting thing. I've got a firing squad. Fire squad, thank you. Okay.

It's like a firing squad. They all shoot so that none of them wears the, the guilt of being around the kill. Oh, and often one of the, the bullets is a blank. So you can, you know, mine, like, I didn't kill them. Uh, and that's the same with these ropes. One of the ropes is a blank. Ha ha ha. So one of them is a mind-artist.

Yeah. You draw the short rope, which doesn't exist. So you're going in there, you're pretending, you're strangled. Yeah. And lastly, if you're the one who gets closest, you aren't able to kill them. But it's a good system. It's good system. Get free.

Yeah. Get free killings. Should be more of it. So they got in there. They got the rope ready to go. But according to a book called The Bad Popes by Eric Russell Chamberlain, at the moment they plan to strike, and eclipse occurred, which startled them, and the Pope was able to flee.

So if that's on a sign of divine intervention showing that God is on your side and doesn't want you murdered, I don't know what it is. But he got out of there. Of course we now know that they happen like clockwork, so it just happened. It's not like God made that happen at that time. Or did he... Or she? Or they?

But knowing he was now in serious danger, the Pope fled into exile. So he ran away, but his safety was assured, and he was helped back into power by Conrad II, who at the time was Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, and who'd expelled the plotting bishops who'd plotted against him. So he's back in power.

But for how long, how long before everything would close in on him again, we'll find out more after these messages. At Granger, we're for the ones who specialize in saving the day, and for the ones who've mastered the art of keeping business moving. We offer industrial grade supplies for every industry, with same day pickup and next day delivery on most orders, all backed by real people ready to help, so you can get the right answers and products right when you need them.

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Oh. So they got a new pope. Sylvester also came from a very powerful family called the Crescenti. His family had always had ambitions for him to be pope, but Benedict and his powerful family had beaten him to it. Basically, it's a Montague and Capulet situation. The families really hate each other. But Silveste.

But the boys are in love. They're in love. They are star crossed. Popes. Popes. That's what I call this episode. But Silveste was now on top, and unlike many antipopes, he's actually recognized as an official Pope

by the Catholic Church when they list the 263-ish people that have been Pope. Sometimes they separate the anti-Popes, but he's counted as a Pope for whatever reason. Benedict IX, he's been kicked out, he's watching his rival family get on top, he's human. He's still had deep pockets though, and great connections, and he and his own forces,

he's got his own armies together, returned in April 1045 and expelled his rival, Silvestre III, allowing Benedict to resume the papacy. Silvestre had helped the top job for a grand total of seven weeks. Hmm. Doesn't this feel like what Popein should be all about? I agree.

Raising armies, starting many wars. Yeah. That feels right to me. That's how, you know, the good old days of Pope. Hmm. Yeah. But he's thinking of my army beats his army. That must be God's army.

That's what he's thinking. So Benedict IX was Pope once again, but he knew that the walls would likely close in on him again and he decided to get out. But this time on his own terms and make the most of his position by selling it. Oh. No one had ever thought to do that before.

Or auctions and off. Yeah, highest bid up. Come on, you can wear this at. I say, $1 million, $1 million over here, $1 million, $1 million and $5 million. Oh my God. It's going to be a long night. It's going to work, fuck it. They really should have.

Not do. Well, you love, I don't know if you've been to an auction we're at for a house or whatever and that, the end they are. It's gonna work fine, fuck it. Really? Should have... Not do. I don't know if you've been to an auction we're at for a house or whatever and that, the end there, literally been like, I will take increments of $200 now. I was like, shut up. Really?

Yeah, they get desperate. Come on. No, I haven't been to an auction actually. I cannot afford to. They're fun to go to the end. No, it's stressful. There's a free coffee cart. I was not stressed about you.

Free coffee. Yeah, yeah. I was not stressed about you. You're not drinking coffee. Yeah, but it's free. Okay. I take it and I tip it under the guard and I say, thank you so much.

Do I smell of coffee? I do. It's such a smell so good. I need one right now. Yeah. I wouldn't say no. HEP. Ah, sorry.

With a coffee. Maybe just make the report more fun, I don't know. We could go to... I don't know how this is our fault. Well, the server side is... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the cafe sauce bar and we'll have a fantastic coffee at the end of the season. That's good news. But before that, we have to sell the papacy for the first time in history. Also, Benedict wanted to marry his own cousin, which he doubted that even he'd be able to get away with, so he decided, I'll sell the top job. I'll marry my cousin. I'll ride off into the sunset. Fantastic. Right. So he sold the papacy to his godfather,

a pious priest called John Grasian. Some sources say he sold it for the price of reimburseing his election expenses. He's like, just give me a little bit of cash, that's all I need. But according to Ranker.com, which has an article on this, they've done the maths. They think that Benedict the Knight sold the papacy to his godfather John Grasian for the pricely sum or princely some of 1,500 pounds of gold, which they've worked out is nearly $30 million in today's money. But he and his bride slash cousin will live very comfortably. Fantastic.

Either way, John Graschin paid up some money and he was recognized as Pope Gregory VI. Oh, Gregory. Gregory. So good. It's in that, yeah, it's wild. It was a thing they could sell. Hmm. I imagine they've closed that loophole now.

This is I think the only time in history that's ever happened. He sold the the role of Pope and in just over 100 days, there'd been three different popes. Wow. So little Sylvester, then Benedict now, Gregory, the six. Oh, it feels like the last 20 years, you know, three or four popes. Yeah. Well, this was a year of three popes, which is a thing that people refer to a year of three

popes. A year when the College of Cardinals of Catholic Church required to like two new popes within the same calendar year, this has happened way more than I would have thought it has. Wow. There has been 13 years of... Oh, and Wilson. Yeah. Wow. Wow. There has been 13 years of... Oh, and Wilson. Yeah. Wow.

Sorry. There has been 13 years of three popes. What? And one year of four popes. Wow. In 1276. A good year. A good year.

I don't think it was. One of them, the most recent one involved, John Paul II, because you remember they elected John Paul I and he died very quickly and then John Paul some say in suspicious circumstances might just say but maybe that's another report but and then Pope John Paul II was elected and then held on to the title for a long time but he is the most recent part of the year of three popes. So Gregory the Six is now on top the Godfather. He had a big challenge ahead of him, as he's clergy had largely lost the saver of righteousness,

basically because of what his Godson had done. And they were not doing well financially, probably also because they just paid the old, thirty million dollars. But Gregory the Six was a very pious man and actually acted in the interest of Catholicism. For the first time in a long time, he was like, I'm gonna act for the church.

First something's peter. Long time, yeah, basically. He tried his best to bring about civil and religious order, but meanwhile, his god son and now ex-pop Benedict IX, started to regret his decision to vacate the papacy. Apparently, he'd also been unable to marry the cousin he'd wanted to for some reason, and was having-

She was like gross, no. No, I would never brought it up. He sold the Popehood for me. I only wanted you because you were Pope. No, she did want him. I'm not sure what the sex. She's a gold digger. Well, we know as that.

No, but she was a Pope digger. Yeah. Because he had the gold. He's got the gold. I liked you when you were Pope. She liked the the gold. I like you when you were a Pope. She liked the robes. I get that. I'm a uniform sexy, deeply sexy, deeply.

He did. So he was now having sellers remorse. Oh, yep, been there. So what are you doing? You got sellers in the mess. You try and get a refund. You get your car back. You get your Pope back.

Your Pope mobile back. You steal it, which is a car. So Benedict returned to the city with his army and he re-took the papacy and remained on the throne until July 1046. Although Gregory VI, his godfather continued to be recognized as the true Pope. Right, like Pope and exile sort of. Yeah. That's interesting. So did he return the gold? I don't think so. He just really screwed over the pious Gregory. Yeah. That's interesting. So did he return the gold? I don't think so. He's just really screwed over the Pious Gregory. Yes. Also at the same time, Silvestre III, remember him, he claimed that he was still the rightful Pope because he'd been kicked off by an army as well.

So now, three men were all claiming the papacy at the same time. Gregory the sixth the Pious Godfather, Silvestre III the anti-Pope, and of course Benedict IX. No one could work out what to do, so a number of influential members of the clergy sought out Emperor Henry III, Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, they asked him to cross the Alps and restore order. They said you're the only one who can make the choice. Who should be the real Pope? What happened to Conrad? He died. Oh yeah.

Sorry, Conrad. Henry III got everyone together, except for Benedict IX, who didn't recognize the meeting as legitimate. He's like, no, no, no, I'm the only Pope. We don't need to have this meeting. I won't even go. So Henry III held the Council of Sutry on the outskirts of Rome.

Gregory VI was accused of purchasing the papacy and freely admitted it. He was like, yeah, I did. But he denied that this act, given the circumstances, constituted the crime of Simon E, which is the buying of selling of something spiritual or closely related with the spiritual. He claimed, he was like, yes, I did buy it, but I bought it to get the church out of the hands of the devil. So in the circumstances, I'm justified in buying. Yeah, I did the right thing. It's fine to commit a sin for a good reason.

Two wrongs make a yes. Yeah, they say. Yeah, they do say that. Regardless of his virtuous motivations, he was called upon to resign. Seeing that little choice was left to him, he complied of his own accord and laid down his officer. He said, okay, I withdraw. Next on to Sylvester III, the former anti-pop. The emperor looked at him and was like, yeah, no.

He was exiled to a monastery for life. Wow. Bit of a downgrade from being Pope for seven weeks. He also, this is the emperor overlooked the claims of Benedict and the emperor decided to elect an entirely new Pope, a fourth person. Could it have been me? It could have if you'd been standing there, he'd be like, was I standing there? No, you were late.

You were standing there outside the door, listening with your memories of very haze. You're the easy to door. He decided, would you believe the best choice for the role the person most suited was one of his guys He chose his personal confessa the bishop of the recently created sea of Bamberg and he became the new Pope taking the the title Pope Clement the second Clement. I don't mind that. I don't mind that.

Pope Claim. Pope Claim. Pope Claim. Pope Claim. Pope Claim. Pope Claim. Yeah, like Pope Claim. The more you say the better it says. Pope Claim. Pope Claim. Pope Claim. Pope Claim. Yeah, no, that's not a love it. I love it. Pope Claim. I love it. I love it. I love having a personal confessa as well. Yeah, yeah, that sounds like a love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love having a personal confessor as well.

Yeah, yeah, my personal confessor. But of course, our bad boy, Pope Benedict IX, didn't respect this decision. What do you mean? He was like, I'm still the Pope, but the emperor was like, no, he's the Pope. So there's no he, the anti- Pope. He's now the anti- Pope. So Clement II's on top. But Benedict IX didn't actually anti Pope. He's now the anti Pope. So Clement the seconds on on top. But Benedict the ninth didn't actually have to wait long

because less than a year later in October 1047, Clement the second died. Some say he was poisoned. Some say it was natural causes. Poison. Some say natural poison. Exactly. But guess who was there to claim the papacy once again?

Wow. It was old mate Benedict the ninth who seized the Lateran Palace, which at the time was the official residence of the Pope. And he was back in charge for what was officially his third time. But if you count the bit where he reclaimed it from Gregory, it's kind of his fourth time as the Pope. Yeah, wow. This time he held on for 252 days before being driven away by German troops in July 1048

and the German born, Damace's the second was elected as Pope and held the job for 23 days. Wow. Before dying. Oh, man. Oh, my God. Like a curse chair.

It's a white note. Don't smell the chair. The poison is on the chair. It does it. If you hadn't been using the word Pope, I. Don't smell the chair. The poison is on the chair. It does it. If you hadn't been using the word Pope, I'd assume this was the throne. This was the king of some... Yeah, at the time they're trading in a similar way. He was such a powerful spot.

So, dammit, the second's died. They needed a new Pope. This time, Benedict IX couldn't weasel his way back in. When he refused to appear on charges of Simon E in 1049, he was fully excommunicated and kicked out for good. The history books are pretty murky as to what happened to him from there. He seems to have eventually given up his claims to the people thrown because Pope Leo the ninth may have lifted the ban on him and eventually benedict the ninth was buried in the abbey of Grotto Ferata in 1056. And that was his end.

F. Donald Logan, who's a medieval studies scholar, writes, the end of his reign also marked the end of the worst days in the long history of the papacy. Wow. And according to Manchester historian, which is a great article on this, the scandals of Benedict IX's papacy contributed strongly to the concave being secured under lock and key, as well as the, so that's the

group of Cardinals, as well as the decision to implement rules which limited the age of Cardinals, the pull from which the Pope is traditionally chosen. These changes removed over family-based factionalism from the heart of the church and introduced some semblance of stability in the leadership for one of the world's most influential religious bodies. So basically, this was the end of the days of family influence and Emperor is picking

captain's picks, that kind of stuff. From then on, the church started being able to vote themselves, basically, because it done such a bad job. And it had been so awful, they were like, this needs an overhaul. Yeah, we need to do a bit of rejigging. Who was powerful enough to make that happen against the wishes of the families? I think by the Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire picking a German person and locking out these powerful Italian families, it sort of diminished their claims and their power.

And over time, the church was able to assert their own power and claim on the role. But it did take like a powerful person with a very big army behind them being like, no, it's not your family anymore. It's my family over here. It was my pick over here. Yeah. But as I pointed out in the start of the episode, weird stuff did happen over the centuries after that. It's not like it. It became exactly as we know it's straight away. Right. Yeah. But he is still a bit weird. Oh, yes. Yes. But it's less, I guess it's less outwardly bloodthirsty. Yeah. Right. They just stabbing each other in the back

with the voting and stuff now. Now it is more like survivor. So Benedict the Nithy is widely regarded as one of the worst popes, if not the worst pope ever. He is however the only pope to sell the papacy, so good then. Good then. He also has the honor of being on my second favorite

wiki pidi-a-pay, number one, of course, being list of inventors killed by their own inventions. But number two being list of sexually active popes. And he's a good one. He's on there but thankfully he avoids the page my third favorite page list of popes who died violently. Oh and that seemed like there's a lot of them too. There's a lot of them.

Yeah. Starting with St Peter. At least if it's not violent it's suspicious. Yes. A lot of suspicious deaths in the popes. And this guy just lived into old age. It's, his later life is not as well documented as the rest of it, but eventually he died probably from natural causes

and was buried sort of with honors. So, with honors. Like in a nice place because the later Pope said, yeah, he's not excommunicated anymore. Huh. That's nice. So that's better than the ninth. I thought I would finish off with some the later Pope said, yeah, he's not excommunicated anymore. That's nice. So that's better than the ninth. I thought I would finish off with some Pope facts

that have come across. I'll say, I'd definitely not claim that they're fun. Yep. You tell me if they are. Matt, you'll tell me if there's a grim and I'll tell you if they're boring. Okay. Why would you have picked them, but?

Yeah, no, why? I want to come across. Is two days before Christmas in 1967 President linden b johnson paid a visit to Pope Paul the sixth where they exchanged unique gifts Whilst lbj received a stunning 15th century painting from Pope Paul the sixth the Pope himself received a foot high bronze bust of linden B. Johnson's own head. Wow! That's very funny. Apparently, he'd had hundreds of the busts made and gave them out to leaders freely. According to the State Department's chief of protocol, James Simington, he recalls,

today there are heads of state all over Asia who are trying to decide what to do with a president's bust. But not just heads of state because that would have been only a dozen or less. As I say, we had hundreds of them. So many many people, cabinet ministers and all kinds of functionaries received one. The president would say, I want a white one. I want a bronze one. And you never had the one you wanted and you had to go back and get it LBJ would explain damn it Can't anyone do anything right? Oh? My guys giving out bus is linden bee giving out bus that's amazing

That's so funny that he's and then give me a white one a bronze one. I want a black one. I want a granite one What why did you have the one? I want and there's a photo of of the Pope receiving it He does have a bim bemuse look in his face like Thanks, so that's in there. That's in there somewhere at the Pope That's one of the hundred and twenty thousand pieces of art And he got given a 500-year-old painting yeah Fair deal priceless. Oh, it's so embarrassing

So embarrassing, but I love it. That's an embarrassing fact So embarrassing. But I love it. That's an embarrassing fact. Do I need to be embarrassing for the... Yeah, embarrassing for the... New category. Barrow's for the Pope. He's given in this old thing where he's getting this brand new bus.

Yeah. That'll be J. I'm giving him like second, maybe third hand. Ah. He's giving you something brand new. Yeah. Mass produced. Yeah.

We're talking about coffee. Love it. He's a coffee fact with the Pope's around 1600s. Some Catholics urged Pope Clement VII to ban coffee, calling it the He's a coffee facts with the Pope's around 1600s some Catholics urged Pope Clement the seventh to ban coffee Calling it the devil's beverage. How dare you flicking the devil's been milking the devil's been probably That was somehow So the Pope was like all right, I've got to taste this devil's beverage and make a ruling about it. He tasted it and he remarked that the drink was quote, so delicious.

It would be a sin to let only misbelievers drink it. Coffee's all around. So that backfire. They're like crappy liked it. They're like crappy liked it. And it's a required taste too. Most, you know, typically love a coffee on your first time. Yeah, first time he just went, this is like, D-lish. All right, the first time I had a coffee was when I was a kid. After watching the Saints play at Wavelios, I think. There was my aunties had this thermos of coffee,

like Nescafe or whatever. And I had some just black Nescafe coffee. I'm like that's gross Yeah, but then the second coffee I had happened about 20 years later and It was down in Hobart and it was like a flat. What I was a latte and I'm like wait this is coffee. Yeah This is awesome. I can't believe it's the same thing Yeah, but it was like obviously slightly different. But frickin' ours good. Oh my God.

Yeah, I want one right now, please. Yeah, let's go get a coffee. Yeah. Let's get a devil's beverage. Let's go flick the devil's beans. Stop it. Milk the devil's beans. Thank you.

All right, two to go. Pope Benedict XVI who is the most recent Pope to Retire is it there's not many have retired of their own will some have been forced out some have been murdered It's like football is it's hard to know when it's the time to go yeah But he he called it and you know pass away in the recently but about 10 years ago went I'm too old for a lot of whatever He held a helicopter pilots license and even liked to fly the papal helicopter. Which is cool to imagine. So it's sort of like Batman they've got every mode of transport. It's the park whatever. Even the train with a 300 meter track. And they're

all shaped like the Pope. Of course. Yeah. actually like, I'm totally fucked. Yeah. Why do you think they call it the papal helicopter? Yeah, yeah. They silly. We're in the hat. The robes off the back, flutter on. It's a hazard, but it does look beautiful.

It's a hazard, but it does look beautiful. It does look beautiful. It does look beautiful. It does look beautiful. He, however, did not ever get his driver's license and never lent to drive a car. Don't need to, you gotta help him. You gotta help him. You gotta help him. You gotta help him. Why the fuck would you need a car. Yeah, it feels like you skipped that step.

Yeah. I'm gonna try to throw who evolved. Went straight to a pen license. Mad respect. And finally, our current Pope, Pope Francis, Jorge Mario Boglio himself, the current Pope. He had a few jobs before he became Pope. One was a nightclub bouncer.

Hell yeah. Which is awesome to think that he, so there's people out there that have been thrown out of a nightclub bouncer. Hell yeah. Which is awesome to think that he, there's people out there that have been thrown out of a nightclub by the Pope. That's sick. So you're gonna, was he ever a paper boy? That's why I can picture him, you know. That's what most people have been, a paper boy.

Yeah, you ever been a paper boy, Jess? I was never a paper boy, no. No, but he was a paper boy. Paper boy, so that's what you're thinking. Have you been, were you a paper? No, I never did the paper run. I was just gonna put a papal boy. Papal boy. That's what you're thinking. Have you been? Were you a papal? No, I never did the paparazzi. I should have never offended a paparazzi.

I should have never offended a paparazzi. I did a bit of catalog folding and stuff like that, but no, I didn't get involved. catalog modeling is what they're thinking exactly. Yeah, they're like, we can't. They're the kid. We can't wreck your beautiful hands. We'll take this straight to the big W shoot.

Well, the big W watches and rings these hands have been in all those shoots. I believe. But that's it. I've talked about a lot of popes, but Pope Ben and the North has a main event there. What a wild, wild Pope. Love that. Well, I don't know enough about popes, so I enjoyed that very much. Thank you, Dave.

No worries. Yes, I am. It feels like, you know, if they started teaching more of this stuff In religious education classes I reckon they probably get a bit more interest No, it's trying to sweep it under the rug. Yeah, you know, it is it is the interesting stuff isn't it? Yeah Personally, yeah, well what a fantastic Report their Dave. Love learning about the wild world of wacky popes should I call that love that is fun oh baby baby it's a world world

running it down world world of wacky popes featuring Benedict Oh, wucky poaps. Featuring Benedicta. He's a headliner. Yeah, and don't forget. Clam, of course. Clam, Gregory. Sixthus. Oh, sixthus. The fifth, but not yet sixth. Well, starting to campaign here today.

Come on. Vote for me, sixthus the sixth. And anyway, this brings us up to the point in the show where we get to thank some of our great supporters. We spend a little bit of time here thanking the people who support us via patreon.com.sache2go.on pod. And there's a bunch of different levels you can sign up to if you want to get involved. Just what are some of the things they can get involved in there? They get to vote on topics that we do reports on. They get to be in a Facebook group, they get bonus episodes.

Very nice, very nice, very nice Facebook group. We're putting out three bonus episodes a month at the moment. And also, the back catalog is about 109. Yes, a lot. And you won't look at it immediately, as soon as you get on that level. So you will be listening for hours. So, one of the levels, the Sydney Shardberg Deluxe Memorial package gets you into the fact-quot-a-question section, and which is this very first section we're going to do right now, and has a jingle go somewhere like this?

FACT QUOTE ALL QUESTING! DEEE! You always remember the thing, hmm, she always remembers the thing. And the way you get involved in this signing up at the Sydney Shardberg level, then you get to give us fact-quot-a- a question or a braggress suggestion or really whatever you like. You also get to give yourself a title. The first one this week comes from Ben Johnson and I should say I don't read these out until I read them out. Ben Johnson has given himself the title of Aussie Rules Footballer for Collingwood from 2000 to 2013. Ben has been going through different Ben Johnson's around the world.

13 years is quite a long time. Took him a while to get to the Kalingwood football, but I'm glad you finally got there. You're probably just doing out of respect because I'm pretty sure Ben Johnson played the day Kalingwood broke my heart. Anyway, Ben is offering us a joke. Oh, great. Here it is. But make sure you deliver it in a funny way. Okay, but I'm telling you

I haven't read it. I'm reading. I'm reading. You're a professional comedian. Uh-huh. So this should just come naturally. This should be like breathing to you. Yes, but I don't know if I have Ben's voice down. Okay. I'll try. My run. Like his literal voice is like, hello, I'm Ben from England. Actually, that is Spongebob. We've met Ben. That's how he sounds like. Ben and that is exactly what I just said. That is because his accent is from

wherever Grand Praiser from. Milton Kings. Milton Kings. Hello. Hello, I'm from Milton Kings. Ben's joke goes like this. Bono in the edge, walk into a bar. The barman goes,

oh no, not you two again. Keep up the good work, love you guys. Love it, Ben. And no, and we love it, Ben, but we love it, Matt. We love it, you made that your own. Jokes are not funny without delivery. Exactly. And Matt, he performed that for us.

And it's too bad. The Melbourne International Comedy Festival is over at this point, because if you didn't see Matt, show you, Mr. You're one joke away from selling out the MCG. That joke would have taken you to this stratosphere next year. Uh huh.

New opener. I feel like that's the kind of joke that might appear in the Edinburgh's best jokes as written by Dave or something like that. Oh yeah, they always have an annual list of these, this year's best jokes and they are always, always puns. Yeah, that's right. But it's also like, they were written down in a newspaper. So it's the only thing that really works out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, otherwise.

The best joke and then they just write down like, you know, a 15 minute routine from Lawrence Mourney. That's not going to work. It's not going to work. It's crowd interaction. Thank you, Ben. The next one comes from Sirage Pyrus, whose title is Spicey Backfat. I've got a fat back. I'm a fucking fucking fuck back. I've got a fat back. And Saraj is asking a question writing, do you have any foods that you now love but previously detested?

I have a few, asparagus, durian, maybe not love, but definitely like, Brussels sprouts. Brussels sprouts was because I'd only had them steamed and then it tastes and smells like sweaty socks. P.S. Backfat is now... P.S. Backfat is how they label fried pork belly or pork rinds in the Philippines. I think everyone else calls it Chicaron. Dave's that meaning you Chicaron? No, but Backfat means everything to me. back fat. I've got a fat part. I'm actually in the Brussels sprouts camp. I can't.

If you heard him saying it, it's so fun. I've just been listening over the last few years. I've been listening to a lot of audiobooks and podcasts by Alan Partridge. And there's a recurring thing where he talks about how he's got a fat back. That's an excellent. That's a bad saying. I love it. Okay, great. You use a Brussels sprouts, don't you?

Yes, absolutely. On team Brussels sprouts, I think for the very same reasons. Growing up, they were always like the joke, like, you know, shorthand for disgusting vegetables. Yeah, yeah. The child doesn't like. Would they boil or something? Yeah, I think that.

And then now I've had them fried in butter, with garlic or something like that. I mean, anything tastes good, fried in garlic, garlic, yeah. Bala. Bala. Bala. Bala. A lot of control of my mouth, I was so... Excited.

Tantalized. I think I mentioned recently that I thought baked beans were disgusting growing up. Yeah, yeah. And now I love them. Yep. I didn't like avocado for a long time. Now I love it. Coffee, like I was saying before, having a nice cafe, straight black coffee as a child.

Yeah. I just thought I could have been if I didn't drink that cup. I was the same until I was about 20 years old for beer. Oh, yeah. I never had that with beer. I always like beer, but I was waned onto it by my dad at a young age. We probably inappropriate these days. I can't drink anything anymore.

You can't give your kids any alcohol anymore. There's nanny stays, they're living in. Well gone mad. Coffee's probably the first one that comes to mind, but there's gotta be others. Thank you so much for that beautiful question, Sarj. And thanks for bringing back fat back into my mind. I've got a fat fat. I've got a fat fat. The next one comes from Nick Phidian. Okay, chairman of just being in a chair, man. Oh, you want to love this episode, Nick. It was very chair heavy. We spoke about chairs.

A lot of chairs. Chair chat. With Nick's video. Back fat and chair chat. Nick's got a fact for us. Writing Switzerland has a lot of animal friendly laws. My favorite being that is illegal to own just one guinea pig in Switzerland.

It's considered animal abuse because they're social beings and it's harmful to their well-being if they're just by themselves. It's a beautiful fact, thanks Nick. So if it's companion dyes, you need to immediately replace it. Yeah, or you'll go to jail.

You will be full-life. I hope so. They're taking extremely seriously. I think you should just buy them in threes. Oh yeah. Have a good, have a spare. Yeah. So one dyes is still fine. Oh yeah, have a spare. Have a spare. Yeah.

So one dies is still fine. Great. You can take your time getting a replacement. Let the morn. What if you get four, then you've got a backup for the backup. Then you've really got time. Otherwise, you're still right on the edge there. Yeah, you're right.

But when you get four, you get complacent, you get lazy, you go, I've got ages, but the heaps of guinea pigs. Okay. One day you wake up, there's only one left. And you've got to think about it. So you get five you go I've got ages yeah heaps of guinea pigs okay one day you wake up there's only one left and you have to think about five yes back up for the backups back up perfect solve that next question bankrupt yourself with the all the guinea pig feed what do they eat man I don't know yeah they nibble I reckon they nibble all right the green greenery. Yeah, a bit like. The leaf.

Yeah, rough edge folly. Yeah, sounds all right. Similar diet to me. Thanks for that fact Nick Fidgin, fantastic name, as all these are. And finally, this week for the fact quote a question, Jacobi D'Angel. We'll speak in great names. What do you nail every day? Jacobi D'Angel.

Jacobi D' Jacobi Danger. Your mouth has never been so open. It's when you say Jacobi Danger. And Jacobi Danger. His co-director of the Doogorn movie, as we know, and Jacobi's written a fact writing, we got him. I'm very excited to announce after listening to your fantastic tribute to his life and career, the great man Nicholas Cage has agreed to start in the do-go-on movie.

Yes, he'll be playing Dave. He is asking to have a nude scene and is also asking... Okay, so you're playing Dave. Yeah, the only one who will do that on the line. You mean my Wang being included. Oh, my God, that was so bad. Thank you Nick. But luckily we would have also made sure that long was in. So that's a,

if I finally actually make sense. Yeah. I've been trying to put it in every scene. You mean my Wang? Like, we're at a funeral. We're in a courtroom. We're in a courtroom. Very grim movie.

You mean my Wang? You mean my Wang? So strange. Best delivery. Jacobi writes, My birthday is coming up on the 14th of April. Very close to the time of recording. And I think I'll celebrate by checking out his latest 2-a-4s as Dracula in the film Renfield.

Oh, is that, that's coming out really soon, obviously. Or Renfeld, as apparently Dave kept saying, Someone made a joke that it was like so on Felt that's good stuff. That is good stuff. Imagine I mean Saturday and all I was probably working on that sketch right now Yeah, but in my defense, I do call it sign field. I'll sign fields. Yes. So I miss mixes up a lot Anyway, last time I said I'd hit you guys with a Zambia fact, so here it goes. Zambia gained independence in 1964 due to its colonization by the British there, was lots of Western culture introduced and enjoyed by Zambians including Popular Artists like the Beatles, James Brown, Jimi Hendrix, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Cream, etc.

Upon Zambias independence, President Kenneth Kowunda enacted the policy of one Zambia one nation to separate the country from colonialism and unite its many tribes over 70. For music, this meant that Zambian radio was required to play 95% original Zambian music, which was a bummer for the youth who enjoyed rock and roll. So Zambian bands started making their own new sounds that took inspiration from Western Rock and mixed it with African beats creating a new genre, Zam Rock. Bands which led the movement include Witch, which stands for when Tender Cores have it. Ammonazic. Asked me about nice artists in Zambia. Chris Zabbybo, Paul Nagosi and the Nagosi family, and more. It had a tremendous rise in a tragic fall, which was directly linked to economic crash of Zambia

and the AIDS epidemic of the 90s. Zam Rock was a very influential movement that not many know about, but you should check it out. A lot of those old records are being repressed on to vinyl if you're into that, or you can find it on Spotify as well. Though it doesn't sound as good to me on Spotify. You can see some great footage of Xamrock artists and vintage Xambia in the sample of the greats video for never forget.

Cheers mates, Jacobi and Margaret. Thank. Cheers mates, Jacobi and Margaret. Thank you so much, Jacobi and Margaret. So cool. Zamrock. I don't think I've heard of Zamrock. Me either, we intend to cause havoc, which, good name. That is good. Thank you so much to our great fact-quadal question

as the Jacobi Nick Surage and Band. The next thing we'd like to do is shout out to a few other great supporters, just, you know, I'm gonna come up with a bit of a game here. That's true. I do. Let's give them a Pope name. Give them a Pope name. Fantastic. And a Pope Moe's transport. Okay. But you both have to agree that 16th the 6th is mine. Also, 6th is the 6th.

Yes. I've climbed that one as well. And 6th go the 6th. You want to know those people that are sort of registered products that sound kind of like you also know and ask us confused? Exactly. If I can kick us off, I'd love to thank from Albuquerque in New Mexico and the United States. It's MEY. MEY, one of the great question riders has written the most questions for being here with Matt Stewart. Incredible record to hold. Especially like wacky news, paper articles, and events.

Yeah, good stuff, Amy. Pope Emilio Estabés. Oh, yeah. The sixth drives around in a limo. Yep, onto the ass. Yeah, on right under the ass. Pope Limo. Thank you so much.

The people flying V. Oh, yes. Triple D. Papers, triple D. Triple P. Triple D. From. Triple D. Papers, triple D. Triple P. From Staten in M.A. Probably Maryland, maybe, in the United States. Indeed.

Massachusetts. Massachusetts in the U.S. I'm learning. Michael Maffio. Michael Maffio. Matthew Maffio. What about Pope Ruffio? I'm learning Michael Matthew Michael Matthew Matthew what about Pope Ruffio? Yes, I love it. Ruffio the first Ruffio Pope Ruffio the first and running around in the papal

Bangarang. Yep in the papal Bangarang, Mabel. Yeah. It's a car. Love it. It's papal Bangarang. Yeah, it's built on imagination. That's right. That's right. Well, the best stuff is. Thank you so much. Mark. And finally, for me, I'd love to

thank from Lynchburg in Virginia in the United States. Jasmine Hill. Jasmine Hill. Pope C shell. Pope, C-shell. Oh! The second. Pope C-shell the second. That's nice. Driving around on the papal tugboat. Yes. The papal tugboat. Uh-huh. Pokedt, see how many times you've squeezed tugboat into these in the future, how many times

you'll squeeze tugboats. I love tugboats. You love tugboats. I have submarines and I love tugboats. That's canon. That's canon. That's new information to make. This is the first time recorded.

Dave, do you want to thank a few of us? I would love to. I would love to thank now from St. Louis, Missouri. Is that right? I'd like to thank Seth Michael. Seth Michael Keel. Seth Michael Keel, who Michael Keel, who obviously, Keel feels like a yachting term.

Is that, I think, in the Pope yacht? In the Pope yacht? A winged keel. Winged keel? Yeah, I don't know what that is, but that's the one of the Australia's cup. There was a, of course, Ellen Bont-Bott. Ellen Bont, that's the third.

Oh, that's good. Yep, that's good. In the Pope. Yeah, which would mean nothing to you over in Missouri, but that was a big deal here in the 80s. Seth Michael Keel, Pope, Alan Bond the third. I think Seth probably knows about it. That was the first time America lost the America's car.

1983, I think Seth remembers it. I definitely don't sweep that under the rug. Yeah, the first loss. They celebrate their failures. I'd like to thank now from Long Beach, California, IA Joshua Bates the Pope psycho. Oh, good name for a few of these people, but Pope psycho, what about Oh, good name for a few of these people. Pope Psycho, what about? Um, on the,

Is it the one baked? Driving the on the official papal, Mickey Mouse float. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's good. That feels appropriate. A lot of parades.

Yes, yes, yes, absolutely. Great. Bulletproof. But of course, it's a bulletproof, bulletproof ears. And finally, I'd like to thank from location unknown. I can only personally assume Bulletproof. But of course, it's a Bulletproof. Bulletproof years. And finally, I'd like to thank from location unknown.

I can only personally assume this is deep within the fortress of the malls. A big shout out to Kay Hacks. Kay Hacks. That's just a letter K Hacks. Pope Tom, what was his name? The old Hacks, Jess. Tom something.

Tom Tilly. Pope Tom Tilly. Oh, that Tilly, Pope Tom Tilly. Oh, that's good. Pope Tom Tilly, who gets around, of course, in the Pope hanglider. Oh, that's fun. Using the power of air. I mean, it's got intended.

Got it. Got it. It's the wind beneath Kay Hax's wings. Yeah, can I thank some people as well? Please. That actually would make my day. Thank you so much. Yeah, can I thank some people as well? Please. That actually would make my day. Thank you so much. I would love to thank from Melbourne, Victoria,

where we live. Oh my God. Can you believe it? Is the call coming from within side? The city. This was freaking me out right now. I would love to thank Josh Pennell. Josh Pennell.

Josh Pennell. Obviously Pope Derek Zoolander fantastic The first okay Got in quick Derek Zoolander Writing around in the papal Scuba gear Writing around It's got one of those things that like it's got a little engine you hold on.

It always looks like a vestibus. It's just underwater. The people underwater vestibus and the flippers have wheels. The pop like those wheelie shoes. What have you called? Healies. It's got flipper hee-leaks. That's very cool.

I would also love to thank from Roca in Great Britain, Katie Watson. Katie Watson, fantastic name. Pope Sherlock. Pope Sherlock. Love it. The first. Mm-hmm.

Probe Sherlock the first. Writing around in the papal loop. Tank. Tank. Pull it proof. Pull it proof. Hahaha. Every Pope needs a tank. Thank you. Tank, tank, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it Ruffin and a Ruffin Pope Nick revolt. Okay.

Okay. Yes. He's already obviously a saint, but now a pope as well. And yeah, Emma slash Nick Vervol gets around in the Jeff Bezos rocket. Oh wow. The one that looks like a dick. So that's pretty cool. Which is a pro brick, is Nick Rivault

also famously had a dick pickle leaked. Oh yeah! I forgot about that. I've got that saved in my phone. So I don't know. Now there you go. All right. Thank you so much to all our popes this week.

Emma, Katie, Josh, K. Joshua, Seth, Jasmine, Michael, and Emmy. And finally this week, we'd like to thank a few of our great long-term supporters who we are welcoming into the TripDitch Club. Now, Dave, you explain the so well. Basically, these people have been on the shout out level or above for three consecutive years. We've already given them a shout out. We've given them an nickname a few years ago. But to thank them again and to really, in trying their commitment to supporting the podcast,

we induct them into a whole of fame of sorts. We've got a clubhouse set up. It's a real theater of the mind thing. We welcome into this clubhouse. Every week we add a new snack, a new drink. We've got a live act there every single week. And basically, it's a place, once you're in you can't leave

because you don't want to leave. And there's everything you need here. Everything you want or need. Jess, you're behind the boat. You come up with a cocktail. What's your Pope? Benedict's cocktail. Well, I've just been looking into what the current Pope eats. That's been made available. That's good. Yeah, it's quite a lengthy article to be honest. Did he do one of those my days with? Oh, get ready with me. Day in the life of a pub. I wake up at 4.30 a.m. and pray.

That's genuinely apparently what he does. But obviously I'll be having some. I go to the gym, which is what I call church. That's where I work out. My brain. which is what I call church. That's why I work out my brain, which is what I call praying my spirituality He has freshly squeezed orange juice. So you put that on the menu of course And he also apparently eats Membrillo which for the uninitiated is a sort of gelatinous pasta that's made out of quince and is highly popular in Argentina.

Ah, it sounds awful. But I imagine Siraj is the kind of thing that may be all end up loving with Tom. That's right. Dave, you've booked someone for the after party? You're never going to believe this. I've been in talks with this guy for literally years and he's dropping by this week to perform music From his album wake up music album with his words and prayers. It's none other than Pope Francis Whoa, you got Pope Frank the first which in 2015 he released an album formed a speeches by Pope Francis recorded in numerous locations

With accompanying music tracks of prayers and hymns with various Italian artists and producers. It's technically a Christian slash progressive rock album and he is performing it live. I'm like, that's so convenient that I've got his go-to breakfast ready for you. He's going to be so happy. The green room, the white room, whatever he calls it. It's going to be fantastic. Oh, great. All right. Well, so how it works is I'm on the door. I've got the guest to send my hand. I'm about to lift the velvet rope. I'm going to say your name. If I say your name, get a bit of a run up.

Get a bit of momentum in it. Because if you enter the room, you're going to be enveloped with love. Oh, yeah. Enveloped. Doesn't matter. We're going to envelope you. Dave's on the stage. He's hopping you up.

He's your MC. Jess is hopping, Dave up. Uh-huh. Because he needs little support. He's not too good at this. So I'll start bringing him up. I'm unbelievable. Here we go from Portland, Oregon in the United States. It's Karen Bramaya.

You lift me Karen Bramaya and my hair. He's a man. From Brondwick West in Victoria, Australia, it's Gemma Glasic. She's a Gemma classic. Yes, a classic Gemma. From Harrison Berg in Virginia in the United States. It's Logan Stoltzfuss. They're all Stoltzfuss. No, Ma. It's Logan. They're all fuss. So from Marum Bainor in Victoria, Australia,

where Tizn played their first ever gig. It's Beth Lockhart. Well, you found the K to my Beth Lockhart. Yes. From Nariwara North in Victoria, Australia, it's Greg Carter. What's Gaby Doo can do do? Greg Carter is smarter. From Boobal in Queensland, Australia, it's Crystal Lee. I'm approaching this night with Crystal Glee. Now Crystal Lee is here. From address unknown,

can I actually swim from deep within the fortress of the malls? It's Justin Hulsher. Justin Hulsher, more like Justin... Grulsher. Let's have a couple of Grulshaes. Let's have a couple of Grulshaes. We don't know where you're from. Maybe you're from... from Europe. Love a Grulsha.

From Chism in the Australian Capital Territory. It's Tessa Chilca. This night is getting Chilca and Hara. Oh, that's it? Yep. And from... Tessa Chilca and Hara. From Victoria Point in Queensland, Australia, it's Charmy Zalinsky. Well, I was feeling a little down. And then I got Charmy, by Charmy Zalinsky. Yes.

And now I'm feeling better. Carousel Medic. And finally from Brunswick, Victoria. by Charmies Elinsky. Yes. And now I feel a bit of... Carosmatic. And finally from Brunswick, Victoria, right? Where we are in this very moment, it's Shavorn Galaya. Shavorn Galaya? Shavorn Galaya, did I say? Shavorn Galaya, did I say?

Let me say... Dad just said Shalorn, that's all. Oh, sorry. And Shalorn to you too. Shalorn Galaya, let me just say, Heya, to you. Come on in. We love you work.

That's fantastic stuff. Thank you so much to Shavan, Charmi Tessa, Justin, Crystal, Greg, Beth, Logan, Gemma, and Karen. And all that's left to do now is to tell people these final things just. These final things with Jess. Final things with Jess.

Everyone's favorite part of the show. If you would like to suggest a topic you can do so, there's a link in our show notes and also a link on our website, which is do-go-on-pod, where you can find information about live shows. And our other podcasts and you can look at pictures of us. Wow. Look at them go.

If you're really into pictures, you can head over to Instagram. You can find us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, at do-go-on-pod. And finally, Facebook, Twitter, at Dugu OnPod. And finally, we love you. Dave, bird at home. We'll be back next week with another episode, but until then, also thank you for listening, and goodbye!

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