Do Go On - 394 - The Kidnapping of Shergar

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

Thoroughbred racehorse, Shergar, was referred to as "a national hero in Ireland. ... one of the most recognizable sports personalities—horse or human—in Ireland." But then in 1983, in the middle of the night, he was taken. By whom and for what reason? Listen to find out! This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 04:28 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our new merch Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-21316921https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-44383969https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shergarhttps://www.irishcentral.com/roots/history/shergar-irish-horse-kidnap Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club, April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at dogo1pod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right. I'm doing shows with Saren Jayamana, who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February, Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattstuartcomedy.com.

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My name is Dave Warnke and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello! Hey, how good is it to be alive? So good to be with you, Jess, Dave and the listeners. Bit of free vibrato there for you. And let me just say, I wish I was never born. Did you catch phrase? Loving it.

Me too. I love it. What a delight to be here. Let's catch up. Yeah. What have you been up to? I recorded an episode of my bonus podcast, Phrasing the Bar, earlier that people can listen to on Patreon.com. Oh, that's cool.

What were you guys doing this morning? I was doing the same. I was talking about the show Soul Man. Wait, Whole Lotta Soul? Whole Lotta Soul. Fuck off. I was just talking about that as well. And people can listen to that if they go to patreon.com.au

and sign up on their appropriate level. Absolutely. You get bonus episodes. We've realized that at the time of recording, and sign up on the appropriate level. Absolutely. You get bonus episodes. We've covered, we've realised that at the time of recording, Brendan Fraser currently only has 12 movies left that we haven't seen, basically. But he's starting to pump them out again. Yeah, that's right.

He's got two that are in post-production. Yeah. So the podcast could go forever. So that's our show about Brendan Fraser. But how does this show work, Dave? Well, on this show, we take it in terms to report on a topic often suggested to us by one of the listeners. We go away, do a little bit of research, bring it back in the form of a report.

The other two people who aren't reporting have no idea what it's going to be about, which is Matt and my role today. And Jess, it's your role to tell us about something. So, do you have a question to start? I do. So, do you have a question to start? I do. Gallineers Cobb.

Gallineers Cobb. Appaloosa. Appaloosa. Arabian. Arabian. Horses. Apples. And American paint are all types of what?

I would have said apples. I would have said horses. Yeah, and you would be correct. Whoa. Was it Arabian that got you there? Yeah. I thought Arabian might be too well known. What were the first two?

They sounded like- Gallineers Cobb. Gallineers Cobb. Appalo Yeah. I thought Arabian might be too well-known. What were the first two? They sounded like- Gallineer's Cob. Gallineer's Cob. Appaloosa. I was singing corn at this point. I was singing apples then. Yeah, that's when I went to Apple and I just didn't give it up. And there's an American paint horse.

American paint apple. No, horse. American paint apple. Yeah, so all types of horse. Because this is a story about a very special horse oh a special horse you're gonna do that all episode oh this is a it's a topic that's been suggested by quite a few people i'm david baxter kieran spillane ian irving hannah claire oblivion incredible name wow james klaxon uh jeffro, and Nick have all suggested this topic.

Okay, until Nick, they were all banging names. Jeffro. And then Nick went up to another level. Yeah. Short, sweet, efficient, bada-bing, bada-bang, Nick. That's who I am. Love me or leave me. I'm Nick.

What have I told you guys that my parents were considering calling my brother Nicholas, but then my dad was like, no, I don't told you guys that my parents were considering calling my brother Nicholas, but then my dad was like, no, I don't really like Nick. So then they named him Michael and his whole life we've called him Nick. Oh, my God. Has your dad into that? Yeah, I think he's come to accept it. He calls him mate, like a lot of Aussie dads do.

He calls him mate. I mean, he could have called Nick mate as well. Yeah, it wouldn't have mattered. Yeah, why not? He had a problem with Nick in his childhood or something. He's like, I don't like Nick. I got bullied by Nick. Yeah, but then he's got a Mick.

He's got a Mick. Yeah, I love Mick, love Nick. I'm into both. Me too. Love them both. They're all welcome here. I like Rick. As anybody with the surname Oblivion.

Oblivion. Nick Oblivion. I canion. Nick Oblivion. I can only assume that was Nick's last name as well. Yeah, we can only hope. That's where you wish you were, Jess. Oblivion. Which I think if you've never been born, that's where you are. Yeah, I would love to be an Oblivion.

And I'd love to be with Nick Oblivion. Then you could be Dave Oblivion. Like if you're marrying someone with the last name Oblivion. Come on. You're changing that name. Regardless of your, like, of your gender, whatever, you take an Oblivion. Are we talking, like, Aristotle O apostrophally Oblivion? Yeah.

Yeah. Beautiful name. It's really good. Of the Oblivions. That's right. Of the Northern Oblivions. Okay. So, it's a special horse.

This is a special horse named Sugar. I like it. Or Sugar Or sugar Sugar oblivion It's S-H-E-R-G-A-R It's what James Bond smokes Sugar That is excellent stuff I actually thought it was also a little bit Yeah, sugar

That's so good For new listeners, excellent and dog shit mean the same thing on the show. Honestly, I am not even being sarcastic. Wow. It's peaked this early, people. We are, what are we, five minutes in? Does not get better than Chagat. Chagat.

So, Chagat was a thoroughbred bay colt. I've learned a lot of new terms here. It's a lot of, like, horse racing terms and horse terms in this episode. I had to do a lot of Googling. You're on a bit of a horse glossary. Bay is just that, is a colour. It's that sort of reddish brown colour, a horse colour. Horse brown.

Horse brown. And he had four white socks and a white blaze, which is a stripe down the front of his face. He was born in March. He was fold, is what they say. Horses aren't born, they're fold. In March of 1978 in Shoshone Stud. Bad at poker for that reason.

Anyway, so. They're fold. Got it. The cult is what, like a boy? Yeah. Young boy? Yes. I'm still wondering where this is going.

So, I'll let you continue. Well, I've just started too. So it could go almost anywhere. But it's about a horse. Because we've done a lot of horse topics. Have we? Yeah, we did Dave's one about the horse that could count. Clever hands.

This is the special horse. Mine was the smart horse. You've done clever hands. We've done Mr. Hands. We've also done the controversial. The fine cotton scandal. Fine cotton scandal. Yes, yes.

Which you can find on YouTube and in the podcast feed. Yep. So, we've done three horses. Plus, we spoke about Megatrots. Oh, Megatrots. In almost 400 episodes. 100% has mentioned a horse. I would say we're a horse-based podcast.

Yeah, we're half-acquainted. Well, yes. He was born in 78 at Shoshone Stud in- That's how often James Bond smokes cigarettes. When would you like a cigarette? Shoshone. You've only arrived and you're smoking a cigarette. Shoshone.

Come on, this is good stuff. No, I don't think it tops Chagall. Oh, well, I told you nothing would. Turn off now if you wanted to because it won't. I really think quite a few would have turned off by now. So, where's Shishun? Shishun started in Ireland, in Kildare. Chagall's father was a British stallion named Great Nephew.

Oh, that's confusing. There's a few fun horse names in here, so I mention them. Not that they're important to the story, but it's fun. His father is great nephew. Great nephew, who won several races in France during his racing career and Chagas' dam, or mother see, there's all these fucking different words for everything was Charmaine, a seventh

generation descendant of Mumtaz Mahal a horse that is described by the National Sporting Library as one of the most important broodmares of the 20th century. So this horse, Chagat, is a Nepo pony. Comes from good blood. And somebody will tweet us and be like, well, it's not actually a pony.

Shut up. Shut up. Let us say Nepo pony. That was a bit funny. So Shishun, where Shogar was born, is the oldest continuously operative stud in Ireland or England. It was the first Irish farm purchased by the Aga Khan in 1923. Do you know anything about the Aga Khan?

No. I was hoping Dave might know something. Oh, Aga Khan, is that the name of the- The imam, like a Muslim leader, sort of a spiritual leader. It's an interesting kind of thing. It's essentially like a family job. It's sort of like royalty, but without sort of having a specific nation. Right.

Very interesting. But based in Ireland? No, no, no. Well, he was born in like Switzerland and sort of inherited this role from his grandfather. Oh, like a Nepo imam. He's a Nepo imam. So, he has held the position of imam and the title of Aga Khan since July of 1957, when at the age of 20, he succeeded his grandfather, Sir Sultan Muhammad Shah Aga Khan III.

That is a great name. Incredible name. So along with his work as a spiritual leader, he's also a business magnate and philanthropist and has a keen interest in horse breeding and horse racing. I really think those go hand in hand, spiritualism and multi-billion dollar business. Yes, I agree.

I mean, I'm making that number up, but I'm guessing it's big money. Oh, yeah, yeah, he's worth billions. Yeah. To me, that is what spiritualism is all about it's big money. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's worth billions. Yeah. To me, that is what spiritualism is all about, just getting yourself back to the bare necessities of billions and billions of dollars. Yeah, back to the bare billions. I agree.

I know very little about the Aga Khan, so if it's something you know a lot about, I'm sorry. I tried and it was quite confusing to understand, but he seems like kind of nice guy. Yeah, right. So, essentially, the stud, where these horses are being born and stuff, they belong to the Aga Khan. So, in 1979, Shogar was sent to England for training with trainer Michael Stout,

who had a good year in 78 training two horses. Again, I've just mentioned their names for fun. Fair Selenia and Shang Gamazo. Wow. Shang Gamazo. There's a lot of sh names. Is that all based on that stud? Maybe.

Being a sh. And both of those horses. What was the stud called again? The stud. Oh, Chigar? Chigar. Shishun. Shishun.

Shishun. Ohun oh yes yeah yeah charmaine so confusing um so those two first linear and and uh shangamuzo had won multiple races between them so stout was impressed with sugar he was easy to break he had a good temperament and he responded well to training and so on the the 19th of September 1980, Chagall ran his first race. It was the Chris Plate, which is now called the Haynes, Hanson and Clark Conditioned Stakes. Wow, that really rolls off the tongue. The Chris Plate. Chris or Crisp?

Chris, K-R-I-S. Okay, who's Chris? No idea. It was named that for like one or two years, I think, and then it changed. Chris lost the title. Lester Piggott was his jockey, and the pair were the favourites on the day with odds of 11 to 8.

I don't understand odds. I put that in there so that you could explain it to me. Well, 11 to 8, that's- Is that good odds? That's 11 to 8 would be very- Wait, I'm trying to think if it's- Because you don't talk like that anymore. That's very old school, I think.

Right. Because now you'd be like, it'd be into the decimals and stuff. Instead, on the total, whatever, it'd say like, it's paying $1.10 or something. Yeah, okay. So, you put $1 on, you win back $2.10 if it wins. Gotcha. But what did you just say?

11, 11.8. 11 to 8. So, I think that is a short price favourite, I would say. Does that clear it up, Jess? It's a short price favourite. Well, I mean, I'm assuming it's a favourite unless there's someone with shorter odds. And someone will be finding this very annoying. But 11.

I could have just said they were favourites. I think it's like $1.37. Right. Like you put on a dollar. Yep. You'll win back $2.37. Yeah, okay. So you're not making a lot of money because it's likely to win.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And at his very first race, he won by two and a half lengths. So it's a decent win. First ever race. A month later, he raced again, coming second, but catching the attention of the racing community. Following the race, Michael Seeley, the racing correspondent of The Times, thought Chigar's run was significant and that he was a magnificent stamp

of a horse and one to watch over the following year. So through 1981, Chigar continued to race, winning races by 10 to 12 lengths, which is heaps. That seems like a lot. It's a lot. Commentating on one race, Peter Bromley informed listeners that there's only one horse in it. You need a telescope to see the rest.

Daylight second. Yeah. He won that race by 10 lengths. It was the largest winning margin of any Epsom Derby. John Mathias, the jockey on the second place horse, Glint of Gold, another good name, said, I thought I'd achieved my life's ambition. Only then did I discover there was another horse on the second place horse, Glint of Gold, another good name, said, I thought I'd achieved my life's ambition. Only then did I discover there was another horse on the horizon.

So, he's so far ahead. The guy coming second thinks he's won. I'm winning. Oh, my God. Is that Chigar in the stands at the bar? He's already drunk half a pint. He's ordered me one, which is nice, I guess, but it also feels a bit

Like salt on the wound Yeah Oh imagine that They go so far You forget about them Yeah You're looking across They're doing the medal ceremony

Yeah You're seeing it all unfold In front of you You're still Just going at it As hard as you can It's like it's happening In slow motion

They've gotten married Had kids The horse and the jockey The horse and the jockey Well, I was thinking a horse and a horse But hey But hey Hey, who am I to judge? Who am I?

Well, I think I'm in a pretty good position to judge that one Okay I'll say, and I'm going over your head here, Jess Bestiality is wrong Matt, that will not age well, okay People will be listening back to this in 10 years and they'll be like wow 10 years ignorant what you're saying now is already aged poorly i would say me yeah no i couldn't i could never age

poorly the only way is up for me i guess i don't know anyway okay um so he's he's absolutely smashing it in a racing career that spent almost exactly one year chagall won six races and came second in one so he's just smashing it out racing a lot a quick rise yeah his final race was the saint leger stakes at doncaster on the 12th of September, 1981. Ten days before the race, a story was published in the racing newspaper Sporting Life that Chagall had not been practicing well and had become mule-ish. Stout stated the rumours were untrue. Chagall was running well in the race, although the soft ground was not to his liking.

But on the final straight, when jockey Walter Swinburne tried to get him to accelerate to the front, the horse would not respond. He's like, eh. Chigar came in fourth, 11.5 lengths behind, cut above the winner. Some great horse names. Yeah, that's a bit of nominative determinism. Yeah. This comes in fourth.

Surprised by the manner of the loss, Stout and the Aga Khan ran a series of tests on Chigar. They're sort of like, something's got to be wrong here. All tests showed the horse was in good health and he worked well in training after the race. The Aga Khan explained to a journalist, he was just an exceptional athlete. All through the spring and summer, he completely dominated European racing in a very dramatic manner. And after he'd run so uncharacteristically in the St. Ledger, we knew something was wrong,

but didn't know what it was. So it was an easy decision to retire him. So, you know, a meteoric rise, a quick career. Yeah, he just can't be fucked. Yeah, he's over it. And, you know, as far as a big drop off, still finishing top four in a big race. Not bad at all, is it?

Not bad. So following Chigar's Epsom Derby win, a group of US horse owners had offered $40 million to syndicate the horse. This is in 1980. They don't use the term syndicate. They just spread its seed. Is that what they mean? No.

Yeah, I guess so. Like breed it? I think it's just a show on the regional affiliates. That's right. Coming up after Seinfeld, the Chagat. So, I guess, yeah, I guess it kind of is that because the Aga Khan turned down the offer and instead decided to syndicate Chagat for 10 million at 250,000 pounds for each of the 40 shares. It was a record price at the time.

He kept six shares for himself and the others were it was a record price at the time he kept six shares for himself and the others were sold individually to buyers from nine countries so he's sort of still holding a fair it just means it's like selling shares so it's like so you hear sometimes like a big maybe a melbourne cup winner will be owned by a syndicate and it might be a you know hundreds of people who've all paid a couple of thousand bucks and they get this time they get a one percent share or a point five syndication by he's retired but we're gonna breed this horse with all the other which i think i think they're gonna do but yes but he's be by a share of that and then you get per stud fee or whatever i guess jess is about to explain yeah my next sentence sorry the shareholders had the option each year of selecting a mare to be covered which was just to mate with

sugar or of selling that option on so they could also sell the like if somebody had a mare that they wanted to mate with sugar but they weren't a stakeholder a stakeholder could sell them that opportunity what a strange business and well oh weird a weird- And this is all because their kids are going to be fast horse runners probably. You assume so, yeah. But they've got- So, 40 times per year, 40 bangs per year. Yeah, and the stud fees were 60 to 80,000 pounds per cover, which meant that shareholders could expect to make a profit from the stud within four years.

That's a good investment. Yeah. But what a strange investment. It's so strange. You're investing in jizz. You're pimping out a horse. Oh, a good investment. Yeah. But what a strange investment. It's so strange. You're investing in jizz. You're pimping out a horse. Oh, you absolutely are. And then being like, well, alright, you can buy my

route. Yeah. I don't feel like rooting the horse this year. We didn't say it had to be with the horse. I think that was strongly implied, sir. I'm going to have to write that in your contract. But I guess the danger would be that, you know, the horse gets sick or something like that

and it doesn't even make it through four years and then that's the only way you'd lose the money, I suppose. Or if early on the offspring don't seem to be doing well. They'll work out the horse is infertile. Yeah. They didn't realise it's a gelding, which means that it's Nadslopped off. Yeah, that's right.

So many Nads. We should have checked that. Did anybody check the Nads? We've got to check the Nads. We didn't realise it was a giraffe. Oh, that could go straight to Hollywood, though. Are they quick? Racing stripes.

As fast as a racing horse? Surely not. Great question. Well, it depends. Is it a thoroughbred giraffe? Okay, I'm going to look up top speed of a giraffe. You look up top speed of a racehorse. Top speed of giraffe.

Okay. Okay, I've got a maximum. I've got a miles per hour. Have you got that? I have got a kilometres per hour, so there's no way we'll ever be able to figure this out. Okay. Oh, let me convert because I know what freaks you out.

I don't get miles. I'm going to look up top to figure this out. Okay. Let me convert because I know what freaks you out. I don't get miles. I'm going to look up top speed of a zebra. Okay. Okay. Let's see. Okay. So, before we reveal their top speeds, who do we reckon? Zebra, giraffe, racehorse.

I reckon giraffes are bloody quick. I'm going to say racehorse. Yeah. They've got race in the name. Yeah. I think racehorse. Okay. And we're going Ks perhorse. Yeah. Just because they've got race in the name. Yeah, I think racehorse. Okay, you want to go-

And we're going Ks per hour. K per hour. I've got the fastest recorded race time for a thoroughbred per hour. Fantastic. Okay, Matt, you go first. Top speed of a zebra. According to sandiego.azoo.org, 56 Ks per hour. That's pretty fast.

That's pretty fast. A giraffe, according to google.com, 60 Ks per hour. 60 Ks per hour. That's pretty fast. That's pretty fast. A giraffe, according to Google.com, 60 Ks per hour. 60 Ks per hour. There you go. Very close. What about a racehorse? Racehorse, according to horseandrider.com, which I trust with my life. Yes, as you should.

Fastest record of time for a thoroughbred is 70 kilometers per hour. I was right. I knew it would be a race horse. But it's in the ballpark and that's the fastest ever. Yeah, totally. A giraffe's gone 60 k's an hour. And zebra is? Zebra's 56, but that's like just your average zebra.

Incredible. So I think racing stripes, was that based on a true story? I hope so. I'm happy to be wrong. And if it wasn't, it's going to inspire our true story. We've all learned something here today.

So, the horse is retired and the Aga Khan decides to keep him at a stud in Kildare at Ballymany. I'm saying that wrong? I'm so sorry. This is from Wikipedia,

a great horse racing website I found, wikipedia.org. The W's for whipping horses. That's correct. Which is outdated. Yeah. Do they still do that overseas?

Australia, they've pretty much stopped that. They don't whip them anymore? They made the whips really soft, and they're only allowed to whip them a couple times. Wow, okay. That's weird. Just make none of them be able to whip. Then they're all equal.

Yeah. So, this is from Wiki. He arrived in October of 1981 and was paraded down the main street of Newbridge. Milton Tobey, the writer on thoroughbred racing and equine law, judges Chagat to have been a national hero in Ireland, one of the most recognisable sports personalities, horse or human, in Ireland. Wow. What year is this again?

National hero, 1981. Right. A horse is a national hero. I'm still curious, is this just an episode about this horse that was really good at running, or is there some wild twist coming up where it turns out it's a giraffe or something like that? Sorry if I spoiled it. You fucking ruin everything, and I hate you.

It ends up, you know, gapping a second career on Wall Street. It's just a story about a really fast horse. I believe it was pitched as special horse, which I'm wondering what that could mean. Well, special, it's special speed. Yeah, I just meant like a really fast horse. It's faster than a giraffe. You guys always want something like different and interesting

and crazy to happen, but like sometimes fact is crazier than fiction. Yeah. You know what I mean? And this crazier than fiction. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. And this horse was crazy fast. Yeah. Okay. Faster than anyone could imagine in fiction.

No one could imagine a faster horse. No one could imagine. So, he's made a return back to Ireland. He's an absolute hero. The following year, 1982, was Chagall's only rutting season. That's Fuckfest 3000, baby. Oh, it only had one rut fest. Yeah.

He mated with 44 mares. 36 of them became pregnant. What a guy. 44. Whoa. 36 successful. So, that's a pretty good hit rate. That is a really good hit rate.

He's fertile. He's got balls. 17 colts and 19 fillies were born. Three of them won group races in later years. So, he did have, you know, some pretty good genes he passed down. How many won group races? Three of them. Three of them won group races in later years so we did have you know some pretty good genes we passed down how many won group races uh three of them three of them so you know three out of 36 pretty good it's almost 10 percent this part of me is wondering he really fell off a cliff here has it been swapped over for a giraffe i know you're looking at me like drop the giraffe thing but i just think a giraffe plays into this somehow. Okay.

And that would make sense why it's such a small percent. Like, because I think if a giraffe mated with, you know, 36 or 44 mares, you're not going to get – they're not all going to get pregnant. It's going to be low on that because I don't think giraffes and horses generally have babies. And that's why it's only 36 out of 44. So, I'm thinking they've switched it out for a giraffe before its final race. The giraffe maps add up.

Which says it's slightly less fast. Yeah, but still fast. Finishes fourth. Still fourth, yeah. The giraffe probably would finish fourth. Yeah. So I think that maybe is what's happened here. Zebra was fifth.

It was a very strange race. And look, we're going to need to edit all this out because you're spoiling the big surprise. Sorry. I could have picked any animal and I said you're up. Idiot. At the start of February 1983, Chigar's second stud season was about to begin and he was in high demand and had a full book of 55 mares to cover. He was expected to earn £1 million for the season.

£1 million for £1 million? Yeah. £54. Yeah, that's pretty 54 pounds it was very efficient one and done so he's heading into his they're playing popcorn and done you're welcome can someone animate that And done. You're welcome. Can someone animate that?

You'll end up on a list, but it'll be funny. The list of coolest short movies ever. So, he's heading into his second stud season. However. Uh-oh. On the 8th of February, 1983, at around 8.30pm, three masked men entered the houseth of February, 1983, at around 8.30pm, three masked men entered the house of Jim Fitzgerald,

the head groom at Ballymany. One of the men said, we've come for Chagall. We want two million pounds for him. Whoa. Wait, they've come for- We want the money now. We haven't got it yet. They've done the ransom before the kidnapping. They're just letting him know.

Hello, we're going to kidnap your son tomorrow and we want $10 million. They're the Babe Ruth of horse kidnappers. They're already pointing to the stand. $3 million. For this. For this. We're about to take it. Yeah.

Back up the trailer. The three men who entered his home were just a part of a larger group. Resources say it was between six and nine men in total. Fitzgerald's family were locked into a room while he was taken, at gunpoint, out to Chagas' stable and told to put the horse in the back of a trailer. A horse trailer, not just like one they rented from Bunnings. It's an open trailer.

There's a horse standing there. Yeah, from Bunnings. The open trailer. There's a horse standing there. Yeah, from Bunnings. The courtesy trailer. What a beautiful service. A horse standing on it. A horse standing on top of a lawnmower. We haven't dropped off what they actually bought from Bunnings. I mean, we were going this way anyway.

I just thought it was easier. Chagall was driven away in the trailer and Fitzgerald was shoved into a van. He was made to lie on the floor of the van and his face was covered. And he was driven around for four hours before being let out of the van near Kilcock, about 20 miles or 32 k's away from Ballymenny. He was told not to contact police or his family would be killed. That is scary. So, he's dumped in the middle of nowhere.

Oh, a bit rough on of nowhere. He walked- Oh, a bit rough on Kilcock. He's near Kilcock. Okay. He's not in Kilcock. He's not in the city centre. He's like, I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere. Because I'm worried that our listeners in Kilcock would be like, Jess, please.

Come on. We got some beautiful sights and sounds. In Kilcock. Yeah. What do you think we're named after? Yeah. Lovely. It's a lovely spot. Lovely. It's a lovely spot.

Lovely. It's probably Kilock, but it's funny. Come on. Come on. There's a comedy pronunciation and then there's Kilock. So Fitzgerald walked onto the next village and called his brother to pick him up. On arrival back at Balamani, he rang Ghislaine Drion, the manager of Aga Khan's Irish studs, to inform him of the theft and urged him not to call police

because of the threats that had been made. Drion attempted to reach the Aga Khan in Switzerland to inform him, then rang Stan Cosgrove, Chagas' vet, who was also a shareholder. Cosgrove contacted a retired army captain, Sean Berry, who was a manager of the Irish Thoroughbred Breeders Association. Berry contacted Alan Dukes, a friend of his who was serving as the Minister for Finance, who suggested that Berry speak to Michael Noonan, the Minister for Justice. Imagine what the message is by the end of this.

It's ridiculous. Noonan and Dukes told him- Sean Connery needs someone to smoke. Shagar. Noonan and Dukes told him to call the guard, the police. So, they did all that to get back to- Just call the cops. It keeps going.

By 4am, Drion had managed to contact the Aga Khan, who told him to phone the guard straight away. The force were then contacted, but it was eight hours after Chagall had been stolen and any possible trail had already gone cold. It took six men and eight hours to decide to call the police. And I love how the Aga Khan is like, oh, they're threatening. Oh, your family. Call the cops.

Oh, that's fine. That's fine. Call the cops. Why did you call me? Call the cops. Yeah, call the cops. What am I, the cops? Am I the guard?

Yeah. What are they going to do? Oh, kill your family. Yeah, call the cops. Call the cops. Yeah, we're talking about a horse here. Yeah. My horse. My horse. Yeah, call the cops. Call the cops. Yeah, we're talking about a horse here. Yeah. My horse.

My horse. Let's call the cops. That horse is going to make a million pounds from fucking. And I'm a billionaire. Okay. So, it's nearly nothing to me. But I like a little extra on the pile. But the only thing worth less than nothing to me is your family.

It's your dog shit children. I've seen their artwork on your desk. They suck. So, okay. You suspected something was happening. Did you think horse napping? No, I was thinking it was going to be maybe. It was interesting that the quality of the run dropped off so quick. I thought maybe there would be a switch or something.

Yeah. Because you're thinking fine cotton. Yeah, I think I had fine cotton on the brain. Yeah. Yeah, you've got cotton on the brain, I think I'd find cotton on the brain. Yeah. Yeah, you've got cotton on the brain, all right, mate? Not much happening upstairs. Cotton wool up there. Oh, yeah.

He's an idiot. Call me fine cotton on Joe over here. Yep, that's exactly what I was saying. Edit that bit out. Nah. So, the very first contact that the thieves made after the horse napping was the same night that they'd taken Chagall. Jeremy Maxwell, a horse trainer in Northern Ireland,

received a phone call demanding £40,000, although this figure was later raised to £52,000. They'd also said when they got Fitzgerald, they said, we want £2 million. So it's very confusing. No, we want £40,000. Actually, inflation is a lot. £52,000. Sorry, inflation is a lot. 52.

Sorry, I've miscalculated. I won 2 million pounds. Just to be safe. Maxwell was told that negotiations would only be with three British horse racing journalists. They're like, we will only talk with these three journalists. Derek Thompson and John Oaksie of ITV And Peter Campling from The Sun That's weird We will only negotiate with these journalists Are they just horse racing fans who want to meet their idols?

Oh, I really want to meet those guys from ITV You're going the long way around here Yeah, just rock up at their work Yeah Like a normal person Don't do that Who are the Australian equivalents? Bruce McAveen

Oh yes, of course, Bruce. I can't remember a sporting event that hasn't had Bruce McEvaney. What about Peter Donegan? I have no idea who that is. Fantastic horseman. Peter Donegan, great work out on the track, Peter. Yeah, what about some of the old 12th man, Kenny Callender. What about Kenny Callender?

Yeah. Get Kenny in. There's our three. There's our three. Great. I mostly want Bruce. From an article from the BBC, it's a bloody great article. It says, Thompson says he got a call at three in the morning asking if he was willing to go to Belfast.

He checked with his bosses at Thames TV and was on board the plane that afternoon along with his two colleagues and a camera crew. He said the scene that greeted him at Belfast Airport was incredible. It was like being a film star. There were cameras all around. The news of a lead in the search for the equine superstar had spread. About 100 cameramen and journalists were in or outside the Europa Hotel as Thompson and his co-negotiators arrived. That's where they were told to meet, which apparently was that or outside the Europa Hotel as Thompson and his co-negotiators arrived.

That's where they were told to meet, which apparently was that hotel, the Europa Hotel, I think, was bombed several times during the Troubles. So it was a significant kind of place and it was known and potentially didn't feel very safe. So they arrived there. Thompson said he was trying to push his way through the press pack when a voice from reception said, Mr Thompson, would you pick up the hotel phone?

At the other end of the line was a voice Thompson described as cold, chilling. It gave the agreed code word, Arkell, the name of a famous Irish steeplechaser, and then warned Thompson, we're watching you from across the road. Wow. Can I just ask the man of a thousand noises,

what would a cold, chilling voice saying arkel, what does that sound like? Irish as well. An Irish, of course. Cold, chilling Irish. Particular spot in Ireland? Northern. Northern, okay.

Kilcock. Flour. Sharr. Ar. And what was the word? Arkel. Shower. Hour. And what was the word? Arkle. Arkle.

And this is a chilling. Chilling and cold. Are you answering the phone? Yes. Yoohoo! The cold word is arkle. Incredible. That is chilling.

Wow, I feel chills to the core. Oh, he's still acting. What about, we're watching you? We're watching you. From where? Where are you watching me from? I'd have to say, sorry, can you please speak up? I'm in a loud pub. We're across the road in town.

I can't quite hear you. We're watching you over here. You're watching me from across the road in town. I can't quite hear you. Watching you over here. You're watching me from across the road? Steve Urkel. Steve Urkel. Amazing stuff. I forgot to tell you the second code word is Steve Urkel. Thompson looked out the window and saw a row of dingy bars

with darkened windows. This was Belfast at the height of the Troubles. Any optimism he had about his role had gone. So he's feeling a bit spooked. The article goes on to describe a pretty wild and full-on night. So Thompson's told to lose the press. You know, they were going to meet him at the pub, but there's all this press there.

We know that. Lose the press. And get to an isolated farm 30 miles from Belfast. Get out of here. That's giving him a bit of a thumb pointing to where you can shove it. Yeah, take it elsewhere. Tell your story walking. Hey, jog on, bucko.

Jog on to the farm? Yeah, 30 miles from Belfast. Straight out of a movie, the three men made their escape through the pub's kitchen and into a waiting car at the service entrance. As they drove, Thompson recalls, we were lost, totally lost. It was the middle of troubles. We were miles outside Belfast going up a single track road. Suddenly, five guys in balaclavas and machine guns appear in front of us.

We slam on the brakes and I think, hang on, these guys are just going to spray the car. They've got us over not to negotiate the release of the derby winner but to kill us. One of the men with a gun approached the car and gestured to Thompson to roll down the window. He did, and the man asked, are you Derek Thompson? To which Thompson replied, yes, I am.

And the man in the balaclava said, we're the police. And Thompson replied, well, thank God for that. I'm going to need to see some evidence of that. The balaclava will do, mate. This is an official uniform balaclava. I don't know what more I could. You can't just get these. We're the good guys, so just trust everything we say.

Follow us. Here's my photo ID. Yes, I'm wearing a balaclava in that shot as well. It matches. Okay. So, the police took the group to Jeremy Maxwell's farmhouse, and over the next eight hours, Thompson took between 10 and 12 more phone calls,

each beginning with a different password. So obviously at the end of one phone call from the thieves, they said another password or something like that. And who – was the police the ones telling him to come to the farmhouse? Yeah. So they wanted him – okay, so they legit are the police, these Bella Clark people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now he's making more calls.

How do the thieves know to call at Jeremy's place? I don't know. I don't know. Wow. So he's having all these phone calls with them, and they're kind of trying to negotiate. And Thompson tried to keep the caller on the phone for 90 seconds, which was the length of time the police needed in order to trace the call.

The caller seemed to know that and always hung up around 80, 85 seconds, just missing out. And every time I have to call, they end up calling about 17 people over eight hours between every interaction. That's right. Finally, at 1 a.m., Thompson managed to keep the conversation going for 95 seconds. Amazing.

Was he like, oh, I need to think about this. Can I just count to 90, please? One, two, three. Yeah. So he's like, fuck yes. But he tricked him by saying he started counting after 10 seconds. And the guy's like, perfect, I'll just hang up at 90. Got him.

Got him. Fucking idiot. So he turns around to the policeman on his shoulder and said, did you get it? Where are they? Only to be told, I'm sorry, Mr. Thompson, but the man who traces the calls went off shift at midnight. Oh, you are.

Who's the feckin' idiot now? Oh, that is, wow. Isn't that incredible? Jesus. He's like, I did it. Oh, yeah, but we didn't trace it. Yeah, sorry. Didn't anyone tell you? Only Brian can do that. I don't know. I don's like, I did it. Yeah, but we didn't trace it. Yeah, sorry. Didn't anyone tell you?

Only Brian can do that. I don't know how to log in. I don't have a password for that system. So, they're talking on the phone quite a bit. Obviously, I said 10 to 12 calls, but they're not really getting anywhere. The kidnappers want a payment of like an initial payment of 40,000 pounds, but Thompson's asking for photographic proof. Like he's asking for some sort of proof that the horse is-

that they have the horse. Like send us some sort of horse's head or something. Just so we know the horse is still alive. Give us a little piece of the horse. Give us something here. Come on. Show good faith. We're not paying you 40,000 pounds for a dead horse.

Yeah, we'll take the hoof at the very least. At the bare minimum. It's so close. Saying the whole word. At the same time as the journalists were in the farmhouse, the thieves opened a second line of negotiation by contacting a Ballymeni stud director and speaking to Drion. Drion was not a fluent speaker of English

and struggled to understand the Irish accent of the caller. Oh, my gosh. And the caller similarly had problems with Drion's not a fluent speaker of English and struggled to understand the Irish accent of the caller. Oh, my gosh. And the caller similarly had problems with Drion's heavy French pronunciation. Ninety minutes later, the caller tried again, with Drion asking him to speak slowly. A demand of two million pounds was made for the return of Chagall and for a contact number in France through which further negotiations could be made. I don't know why. France through which further negotiations could be made. I don't know why.

So, the syndicate which owned Chagat brought in the risk and strategic consulting firm Control Risks to handle the negotiations. So, they're taking this so seriously. They're like, we need this fucking horse back. We've all put a lot of money into it. He's going to make us a lot of money. Yeah. We need our horse. We need to bring in-

The professional negotiators who come in and they go, all right, who's negotiating? That man who can't speak English. Oh, fucking hell. This is not going to work. Same as the negotiations with Thompson, the consulting firm asked for proof that Chigar was alive. Now he's lost two hooves.

As there'd been speculation from the media that the horse was dead. From Wikipedia again, the thieves said that a representative of the syndicate should go to the Crofton Hotel in Dublin and ask for any messages for Johnny Logan, which is the name of an Irish singer. Stan Cosgrove went to the hotel and asked for any messages. Armed members of the special detective unit were present and undercover. No message was delivered and Cosgrove returned home.

Like, he waited for a little while. No messages, so he went home. Shortly afterwards, the negotiators received a phone call from the thieves, angry at the presence of the police, and threatening that if any members of the gang were captured or killed, the negotiators and police would be murdered in retribution. So they're like, don't think we didn't know there were cops there. You've got to

take this seriously or we're going to kill you all. It's a bit full on. On Saturday, the 12th of February, the thieves contacted negotiators and said that proof had been left at the Rosemary Hotel. When this was picked up, it contained several Polaroid pictures showing Chagall. Some of the pictures showed the horse's head next to a copy of the Irish news dated 11th of Feb, so the day before. So you say, send us the horse's head. They're sending a picture of the horse's head. And like a guy on a bellicose with a thumbs up. It's all good.

It's fine. We got this. Got him an apple. He's really happy. Cosgrove saw the photograph and confirmed that it definitely was him, although he added it wasn't proof that the horse was alive. At that point, you'd want to get much more definitive evidence. If you'd seen the complete horse, it would have been different. But this was just the head.

Right. You want the complete horse. You want the whole horse. You should be able to tell from the eyes if it looks alive or not. Yeah, true. Its tongue was hanging out and there was a lot of blood on its neck. There was crosses over its eyes. Yes.

And then coins on top. And the ferryman was there. But it's hard to tell. But if you get the full shot of the horse, how do you not know it's not just like four kids dressed up? Oh, that's true. I was going to say, like, if you got a picture of it standing up, but it could be asleep. Yes.

But that doesn't mean it's dead. Yes. Oh, it's dead. Yes. Oh, it's tough. It was a very famous horse then as well. So, there were already Halloween costumes and stuff. Very lifelike. You could easily dress up like Chagall. The number one must-have costume for the pretty Halloween.

Chuck on four socks. You're Chagall, baby. Chagall. The idea of paying ransom was pretty much out of the question anyway. For one, the Aga Khan was only one of 35 members, so he couldn't negotiate or pay on behalf of the others. But he was also unsure whether Shigar would be returned, even if the money was paid,

and concerned that if the kidnappers' demands were met, it would make every high-value horse in Ireland a target for future thefts. So, it's a precedent. You imagine he's got that in his wallet probably a couple of million. Yeah. But, yeah, the precedent's what he's worried about. Yeah. And then some people disagreed.

Like there were some members of the syndicate that were like, you know, if this was a child we'd pay. And they're like, yep, it's not a child. Show me a child that can make a million dollars in one season. Yeah. I can't. Can't. Especially doing what Chigar was supposed to do.

Maybe Shirley Temple in her heyday. But she's grown up. Okay. Let her go. She's not a child. Let her go, Matt. I don't know if I can name a current day child star. Is Frankie Muniz still?

I think yours is slightly more current than mine, but only like about three years. Macaulay Culkin. Yeah. What's Macaulay up to? What about the whole Culkin crew? The whole Culkin crew? Kieran Culkin.

Kieran Culkin. What's Kieran Culkin doing? There's another Culkin as well. Yeah, or the third Culkin. The third Culkin. Culkey. Culkey Culkin. Culkey Culkin. Culkey Culkin.

Get the Culkins in. Or get the Culkins in. Get the Culkins on the phone. Maybe the Culkins between them can make a million in one season, but not one of them. Yeah. And that's just from rooting. Once you get Hollywood fees on top of that.

Oh, my God. You know, Kieran's on succession now. Yeah. I'm sure it's great. Fuck off. Fuck off. Now, as I mentioned before, because it took eight hours for them to call the police in the first place, police investigations were hindered from the very beginning.

They're like, oh, okay. So, this was ages ago. Cool. This sounds like the police making excuses before they even get going. It's really funny. That crime happened eight hours ago. Honestly, the statute of limitations has basically run out at this point. We would have.

If you called us straight away, we definitely would have solved it. That's really on you, not us. It's a loophole, eight hours, you know. Yeah, come on. It's the eight-hour rule. And, of course, you're not allowed to report a horse missing until three days, but even still. There'd also been a local thoroughbred auction the same day as the theft,

meaning there were a lot of horse trailers travelling around in the area, making it difficult to determine which one was the stolen horse and which way it went. That's clever. It's pretty clever. It's sort of, you know, like the cup and the ball and the, you know, where's the horse? Step right up, step right up.

Yeah, like that. Shell game. Don't let the. What was that? A right up, step right up. Yeah, like that. Ah, shell game. Don't let the- What was that? A shell game. A shell game. Shell game, not the horse. That was his brother. I heard you go, ah, shell game.

Shell game. Yeah. Leading the investigation was Chief Superintendent James Murphy, a highly experienced detective. In his first press conference, Murphy described how he was slightly concerned about the theft and told reporters, I have no leads. But from Wiki, Murphy had a strong Irish brogue, wore a trilby hat and had a self-effacing sense of humour. At one press conference,

he announced a clue. Now that's something we haven't got. I love this guy. Several people claiming to have paranormal powers contacted the guarder with their thoughts. Murphy reported that diviners- Sorry, with their thoughts? As in like they contacted them telepathically? No, I think they contacted them traditionally to share their thoughts. Okay, damn.

I was going to say, because if they contact you telepathically, you can't say you don't have any powers. Yeah, I can't believe you. Or I'm schizophrenic. Murphy said, diviners, clairvoyants and psychic persons, they're in three different categories, they must be running into the 50s now. So, they've had heaps of people contact them and be like, I psychically know where the horse is.

Great. During one press conference, six photographers turned up wearing similar trilbies to the policeman. The Times called him a stage Irishman. I just had to look up what trilby meant. That's classic. Yeah, and that's Sean Connery wearing it. So, as in, like, the camera people have, like, worn them because they're like,

this guy looks cool. I want to look cool like him. Yeah, totally. He's starting a trend. He's become a character. That's the best. There was a documentary in 2004 called- And a reviewer called Murphy,

the most richly comic copper since Inspector Clouseau. After eight days with no progress, he was replaced as the public figure of the investigation, but continued to lead it. That kind of read to me like he was becoming a bit of a media sensation himself. Yeah. And it was a bit distracting on the case. It was his time to shine. Yeah, they were just like, this guy sensation himself. Yeah. And it was a bit distracting on the case. It's his time to shine.

Yeah, they were just like, this guy fucking rules. Yeah. Look at his fun hat. What are we talking about again? He says funny stuff. I like it. So, with no definite news of Chigar's whereabouts and with the guard limiting the information they released to the press, the media took to speculation to cover the story.

Because they're like, we don't have a lot of facts, so we just got to make some shit up. Oh, that's classic journalism. As far as I'm concerned, the lamestream media is making it up, eh? Bloody hell. Hey, do they have a clue? Not likely. These goons, you know, sorry to rag on your profession. Those are my peers.

Yeah, they are. Okay. Cal Stefanovic and the like. Yes. Who's your hero in the journalist world? Oh, probably Sandra Sully. Sandra Sully, yeah. Great.

With the late news. That sounds about right. Tracy Grimshaw, A Current Affair. Yes, yes. Ah, yes. The Grimshaw. Or the Grim Reaper. Yeah.

Nothing current about that affair. Is that still a show? You don't have to pipe in, Dave. If you got nothing good. Jesus Christ. That was too honest. That was cold. I'm sorry.

That was cold. No, that was great, Dave. That was very witty. Have I saved it? Nothing current about that affair. That's good banter. I don't know if you heard my late news. That'd be right. That was goodter. I don't know if you've even heard of Late News. That'd be right.

That was good stuff. I don't really get it. Is it because I'm stupid? No. No, it was just having a go at Sandra Sully. Yeah. Being late with the news. She used to host the Late News.

I'm in a few group chats where someone's nickname's been changed to Sandra Sully because they've come in with a little bit of story or gossip or something that someone had said like half an hour earlier. A little bit like in a footy chat, like, oh, it looks like someone, Kuno's been suspended or something. And then someone else comes and says their nickname's about to be Sandra Sully. Nothing current about that affair. Does it work?

Does it work very good thank you so these are some of the speculations that the media were um were speculating um that shigar had been stolen by colonel gaddafi as part of a deal to supply arms to the ira that a middle eastern horse breeder had stolen him for stud that the mafia had undertaken the action to punish the Aga Khan over a previous sale of a horse which had gone badly. And according to the tabloid newspaper Sunday Sport, Chagall was spotted being ridden by the missing Lord Lucan. No.

Previous report topic. Wow. So somehow Lord Lucan has stolen this horse and is riding him to safety? Maybe. Apparently. Incredible. How cool is that? I'm reading it like, Lord Lucan has stolen this horse and is riding him to safety? Maybe. Apparently. Whoa. Incredible. How cool is that?

I'm reading it like, Lord Lucan, that rings a bell. Who was the other guy in that report? John Stonehouse. That's right. And that episode was called The Tale of Two- Two Missing Parliamentarians, I believe it was, because they both went missing from the UK, both parliamentarians, within one month of each other. And now we know that one rode off at record time.

Such a good report. Great story. both parliamentarians within one month of each other. And now we know that one rode off at record time. Yes. Such a good report. Great story. So. Just like because you were just like, that rings a bell vaguely. Beautiful story. Well told. No, I remember it being a wild ride. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Almost as wild as Lucan on that horse. Yeah. Eight weeks after Chagall was stolen, Stan Cosgrove was approached by senior detectives within the Garda who introduced him to Dennis Minogue, a horse trainer. Minogue claimed to have a contact within the IRA who had shown him a photograph of Chigar and said that he could help get Chigar released for a ransom of £80,000.

The Garda asked Cosgrove to assist them in a sting operation to lure the thieves out. Cosgrove agreed and on the 20th of July, 1983, Detective Guarder Martin Kennerons, Ken Irons probably, assisted the operation. He put the money in the boot of his car in a remote village, which Minogue was to collect once the horse had been released. The following day, Ken Irons found the boot of his car forced open and the money missing. Minogue had also disappeared, and the money was never recovered. Oh, my gosh. They just stole the money out of the back of the car.

It sounded like it was a setup, but how poorly they- They just left the car unguarded. Just put the money in the boot. Their garter is their name. I know. We'll put the money in the boot and we'll use it tomorrow. And that detective was- You know where it is, but don't get until tomorrow.

We're trusting you. Don't get until you've given us the horse. We want the horse back, then you can have the money, which is in the boot, just there, in that car right there. We're going to leave it. We will not be watching it. We won't be watching it, obviously, because we know that you won't get until we've got the horse back.

We're mates, right? Mates don't let each other down. My mate let me down. He had his fingers crossed behind his back, Minogue. Yeah. Danny Minogue. Yeah, Danny Min down. My mate let me down. He had his fingers crossed behind his back, Minogue. Yeah. Danny Minogue. Yeah, Danny Minogue. Any relation?

Of course. Yes, it's their dad. That detective was dismissed from the Garda for breaching regulations, but always maintained his innocence that, you know. He wasn't part of it. He wasn't part of it, yeah. So, I've mentioned the IRA a couple of times. So, police and intelligence sources consider the IRA

as the most likely suspect behind the theft. And a lot of places will sort of say the horse was stolen by the IRA. In October 1981, the IRA Army Council, the leadership group of the organisation, approved the kidnapping of Ben Dunn, the head of the chain of Dunn Stores. It's like a chain retail place. What's its equivalent here in Australia? Is it a big W tire?

Myers? A Rebel? It's probably more of a Myers. Myers David Jones. Oh, sort of pretty little fancy. Maybe not. I don't know. I don't know.

And it's Dunn's and they got the Ben Dunn. They got the Ben Dunn. Yeah. So, Irish multinational retail chain that primarily sells food, clothes, and household goods. So, not Rebels. I apologise. No, it's not Rebel. That's Sporting Goods.

Sounds like its own thing with food as well. Sounds like heaven. But David Jones used to have food. Fancy chocolates. Yeah, exactly. I've never been in one. But they look fancy from the outside. They never let me in.

You're pre-band for life. You were born band. Don't you think about it. Nothing in here for you. I think you might be a little more comfortable at a Big W or a target country. See, I've never been in a Big W. I'd never lower myself to that. That's my go-to.

Or it was. Don't know if they still exist. I think so, yeah. Yeah. How do you know, Dave? myself to that. That's my go-to. Or it was. Don't know if they still exist. I think so, yeah. How do you know, Dave? I've walked past them and spat through the security. You fancy boy. I'm on my way to DJs. Nothing fancier than

spitting on a department store. You probably wouldn't even know how to spit, would you, pleb? They don't teach you spitting at public school, do they? I'm a bad spitter. Yeah, I don't know how to spit. I see like professional sports people, very good spitters. You know, cricketers who can spit through the guard on their helmet, get great power

and accuracy. You know how you don't like poop chat? Yeah, yeah. I hate spit chat. I don't like spit chat that much either. Well, then why did you fucking start it? Dave did. I yeah. I hate spit chat. I don't like spit chat that much either. Well, then why did you fucking start it? Dave did. I did because I love spit chat.

Dave loves all gross things. He's the grossest boy. Dave's the grot of the group. He is a grot. Dave Grot Warnocky. We won't give you Cobra as a nickname, but I think the grot might stick. Happy. Guilty as charged.

Little grotty boy. Little grotty boy. No more discussing the better. TGB. Let's change the nickname in the group chat ASAP.. Little grotty boy. Little grotty boy. The more disgusting the better. TGB. Let's change the nickname in the group chat ASAP. The little grotty boy. Little grotty boy. And I want to be the big fella.

All right. What am I? By the end of the episode, we'll have something. Great. So, anyway, they've kidnapped Ben Dunn. Who's the namesake of Dunn? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He started it all.

Oh, my gosh. He was released unharmed after a week, and both the Dunn family and the Garda deny that a ransom was paid. Okay. But they paid it in vouchers for the kitchen section. That's right. Only the kitchen section. Pots and pans only.

Pots and pans only. Nothing on sale. No lay-bys. But according to intelligence subsequently received by some sources, after the success of the operation, it was decided to undertake another ransom through kidnapping or theft, this time of Chagall. So I don't see how they could see it as a success

if they hadn't got some money from it. I reckon they did. Yeah, surely. It sounds like they don't want to admit that, yeah, we paid up because it obviously encourages it a bit more. It was embarrassing for the dumb family or whatever. But he's released Unharmed after a week and they got nothing out of it. Come on.

Come on. Yeah, and then sources- They got like a staff discount card or something. Exactly. Yeah. Inside sources are saying like, oh, it was such a success, they decided to do it again. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So how could it be a success if they haven't got any money? Yes, must have been. And so they've decided, okay, well, we'll do it again. We'll kidnap Chagar. We've got heaps for a person. We've got heaps more for a horse. Totally. And here's the thing, right?

Chagar has never been found. What? What? It's a mystery episode. What? You're kidding me. Nope. Oh, my God.

How long do horses live? Is it still alive? Okay. I have another thing to Google. Horses live in their 20s maybe up to 30. I'll look up how long a giraffe lives as well just for comparison. Majority of racehorses have a racing career of only two to three years, yet their life expectancy is 25 to 30 years.

Okay. Well, the giraffe still slightly behind again, 26 years in the wild, slightly longer in captivity. Okay. So I think we found still slightly behind again. 26 years in the wild, slightly longer in captivity. Okay. So I think we found the superior animal here. Horse. Absolutely. Yeah, okay, great.

How good are horses? It's got a giraffe on all occasions. I honestly just confused myself. I was like, are we saying horses better? Horses are amazing. They're so good. I mean, giraffes are great. Don't get me wrong, but a horse.

But maybe it's just that we see horses more. But I look at a giraffe and I'm like, how the fuck do you exist? Yeah. Crazy. How's your neck so long? Too pop heavy. You know when they, like, flick their head around too? Yeah.

Don't look at it. That makes me think, oh, I'd pull a muscle. I'd pull a muscle, I would. They're all neck. So, never been found. Yeah. I can't believe it. It's a mystery.

So, in 1999, a guy called Sean O'Callaghan, a former member of the IRA who had been working within the organisation as an informant for the Garda since 1980, he published his autobiography called The Informer, The True Life Story of One Man's War on Terrorism. So he's a spy. He's an informer. He's inside the's a spy he's an informer he's inside the ira but he's working for the garter and in his book he says that two weeks after chigar's kidnap

ira member jerry fitzgerald told o'callaghan that he'd been involved in the theft and that chigar had been killed early on in the process after the horse panicked and no one present could cope with him this is like like a big, strong racing horse. Yeah. And they're like, fuck, we don't know what to do with this horse. Oh, they didn't get any horse people involved. In the process, the horse damaged its left leg and the decision was made to kill it.

This is what one guy's telling O'Callaghan. So this is possibly. Poor Chigar. From Wiki again, according to O'Callaghan, in August of 1983, in an effort to raise the money that they'd failed to do with the Chagall theft, Fitzgerald and his group attempted to kidnap the businessman, Gallon Weston, at his home in County Wicklow. The guard had been forewarned and took over the house

while Weston was in the UK. After a gun battle, Jerry Fitzgerald and three others were arrested. They received long prison sentences. O'Callaghan stated that essentially the same team that went to kidnap Chigar went to kidnap Gallen Weston. So it's kind of like corroborating a story of like the police are aware of this attempted kidnapping. So it kind of lines up.

Writer Milton Tobey queried O'Callaghan's story, saying the IRA informant was a confessed informer whose life depending on his ability to weave a convincing web of lies. Without more evidence, O'Callaghan's story is just that, an interesting story. Oh, okay. So he's kind of like discrediting him. But remember Derek Thompson, the racing commentator turned negotiator. He thinks Sean O'uno callahan was legit in the bbc article it says details have subsequently emerged which have only strengthened his conviction a password that he had never revealed was included in the book written by shauno callahan who claimed the organization

had planned and committed the theft so thompson is like never told anybody one of these passwords and shauno callahan mentions that as a password and he's like well that how would he know that if he's not like somehow not involved but if he wasn't in those conversations exactly right in 2008 a special investigation by the Sunday Telegraph obtained information from another IRA member who said that O'Callaghan had not been told the full story because the gang was so embarrassed by what happened and this is what they say happened a vet that the IRA had arranged to look after Chagall didn't turn up because his wife threatened to leave him if he did and again I got

wives am I right oh my god they ruined everything once the IRA realized that the Aga Khan was not going to pay the army council ordered the horse to be released. But believing they were under close surveillance, it wasn't safe to release the horse without incriminating themselves, so they killed the horse instead. That's another sort of version of events. But we still don't have the answers, and people still speculate what happened to Chagall.

No body has ever been found, and people speculate where he could be. O'Callaghan said that as far as he knew, the remains had been buried on a farm of an IRA veteran from the 1940s. Derek Thompson believes the kidnappers took Chagat to the south coast of Ireland and, following the incident, dumped his body in the sea. He has no evidence to support that theory but says it would at least explain the lack of a corpse.

Yes. But there's also been, like, people have, you know, been digging stuff up and found, like, horse remains and people go, God, it'd be sugar. It's like, I've got no evidence of this, but... But that's all I reckon. It kind of worked. You can't deny it would work.

Like, if they'd lit a big bonfire or they'd pushed him off a cliff or he'd been in a pond somewhere. I mean, it works out. It makes sense. If you think about it, it makes sense. Let's drain the oceans. Just in case. Just in case.

Just in case. There's a bit of a legacy as well. In 99, in honour of Chagall, the Chagall Cup was inaugurated at Goodwood Racecourse in West Sussex. It was later moved to Ascot Racecourse and is a competition between four teams, Great Britain and Ireland, Europe, the rest of the world, and an all-women team. Okay.

The winners of the competition are presented with a trophy showing Chagall, and this was donated by the Aga Khan. And finally, it was – I mean, it's been turned into a few, like, there's lots of documentaries about it. There's a few- Racing Stripes. Racing Stripes. We Bought a Zoo is also about it loosely.

Jack and Mary Wrote a Porno. That's right. That's based on Chagall. People don't know that. So, that's a great bit of movie trivia you had there, Matt. Thank you. But The Theft was also dramatised as the film Chagall, directed by Dennis Lewiston and starring Ian Holm,

Bilbo frickin' Baggins, and Mickey Rourke. And who's Mickey playing? An Irish person, let me tell you that. The front end of the horse. Okay. I've seen little trailers. It looks horrendous. Who's Bilbo?

Bilbo Ballins. Baggins. Baggins. Ian Holm. Ian Holm. Ian Holm. H-O-L-M. H-O-L-M. You know Bilbo Baggins.

No, I do not recognise him at all. Have you seen Lord of the Rings? I think I have. Probably not. I don't recall it though. Well, I thought it was exciting. No, that is. But it was mostly that Mickey Rourke was in the movie about it. But I've heard the name Bilbo Baggins.

Yeah, because it's from Lord of the Rings. But I thought Bilbo Baggins was the guy who played Rudy. What? No, don't worry. I don't know who Rudy is. It doesn't matter. It's a guy from Encino Man. Oh.

What? No, Sean Astin? Sean Astin, no. No, he's Samwise Gamgee. That's a name I've never heard of, but I do know Sean Austin. Okay. He plays Sam. Okay. That's a name I've never heard of, but I do know Sean Austin. Okay. He plays Sam. Okay.

That was a wild tale. And there was so much of that negotiation was so hard to follow. Totally. What was going on? And, like, it was, and that wasn't just in my writing of it. And they never figured, like, it never figured out. It was so convoluted. It absolutely was.

It never figured out. It was so convoluted. It absolutely was. And, like, there was some sort of – there's a whole section about it on Wikipedia that was essentially, like, people were like, why the fuck have they done this? Right. There's no, like, clear objective. It seems like it was possibly for, like, media attention

or to just cause a bit of nuisance or who knows. But, yeah, the fact that they've gone, we only want to talk to these three journalists. Yes. And at the same time, they're also calling somebody else not completely related and asking for different amounts of money. Yeah, like, wildly different amounts. Yeah.

It's so- Like, between 40 grand and multi-millions. Yeah. Really strange, isn't it? Yeah. Have they kidnapped a horse? Or is it like they've broken up into two different factions? They know the horse is dead now and they're both just trying to milk out as much money as they can?

Well, yeah. One group's going, we'll just, let's ask for something achievable, 40 grand. Yeah. I read something that somebody was saying that they've probably split into like three groups where like there was two groups kind of negotiating with the two different sanctions and then there's another group that's also looking after the horse or hiding the horse.

Really strange. There was also like issues around because the horse is insured as well because it's worth so much money. I'm just like I'm just finding it now because I didn't include it. But essentially in classic insurance because insurance much money um i'm just like i'm just finding it now because i didn't include it but essentially in classic insurance uh because insurance like they'll they'll do everything they can not to pay you right oh my god are they going to claim we haven't found the body it could still be alive that kind of thing well um uh the insurance with lloyds of london observed that while theft was

clear-cut the demand of a ransom meant that the action was considered extortion rather than theft, which meant the mortality and theft policies did not have to be paid out. So they're like, well, this is extortion, not theft, so we don't have to pay you anything. I think like- Love a loophole. They definitely got some insurance money,

but definitely not all that they maybe thought they were. Well, you know, they were making money out of a horse rooting. So, you know, maybe take a moment and think about what you're doing. I didn't feel that bad. Are you comfortable with this? Making millions of dollars out of some horse rooting? Just think about it. It's a bit weird.

Just think about it. That's all we're asking. Just have a think. Yeah. Okay. Now we've had a think about it It's a bit weird Just think about it That's all we're asking Just have a think Yeah okay Now we've had a think about it I can say that I was confused Because Bilbo Baggins

Was also played by Martin Freeman That's what I think Tripped me up Gotcha Yes yes yes He was like young and old In the movies I guess

Right And that's why You thought of Sean Astin Who's the friend of him right No Doesn't matter I'm thinking of a third guy.

You're thinking of- The guy from Wilfred. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking of Elijah Wood. Elijah Wood. Okay. Exactly.

I'm glad we got there eventually. Because I imagine people were yelling at their iPods. Anyway, does that bring us to the end of the report of Fantastic and Wild Tale? I've never heard of it. Me either. I love one I've never heard of. I know a genuine surprise when you say it's a mystery. I didn't see it coming.

I grew up loving horse racing and I've slipped out of it a bit, but still I just fucking love those horses. They're such beautiful animals. Yeah, I get why people love it. Just watching them run is pretty awesome, but yeah. We can wait for clean water solutions or we can engineer access to clean water we can acknowledge indigenous cultures or we can learn from indigenous voices we can demand more from the earth or we can demand more from ourselves at york university we work together

to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. It's a night for the whole family. Be a part of Kids Night when the Toronto Rock take on the Colorado Mammoth at a special 5 p.m. start time on Saturday, March 9th at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton. The first 5,000 fans in attendance will get a Dan Dawson bobblehead courtesy of Backley Construction. Punch your ticket to Kids Night on Saturday, March 9th

at 5pm in Rock City at torontorock.com Anyhow, that brings us to everyone's favourite section of the show where we get to thank some of our fantastic Patreon supporters. Before we get to that, Dave, I just brought in a little package. Do you mind opening that up? It's from our friend

James. Oh my goodness, is this what I think it is? I think, or I don't know, but I think it could be. Well, I'm thinking it is a Dew Ghost on Beer. That's right. That's what the label is saying. Fantastic.

James is the official Duggan Podcast brewer. Yes. And this is the second batch. Second batch. Oh, have you seen on the side here? There was a question. Have you read this before? No.

We'll see if you can get this. This is what James's beer says on the side. It says, as always, to get us onto a topic, let's start with a question. In the US, what cocktail do Americans celebrate on the 10th of July? 10th of July. 10th of july because the 4th of july is probably some sort of red white and blue cocktail because that so purple they've got a distinctive flag over there that's red white and blue it's only they're the only ones um the answer is very close to my heart and my taste buds. Oh, pie. Cherry pie.

Apple pie. Do you like pina colada? Pina colada pie. The answer is pina coladas. Pina colada. This is a pina colada do goes on. That's a, oh, wow. It says, just a little crisp-mished pina colada sour

made with pineapple, lime and coconut to help say, how good is life? And that might give you a little hint as how long it took me to deliver those to you it's the end of april i picked them up off james uh from bodriggy where he's one of the brewers there which is a great pub in a brewery in melbourne do yourself a favor but um yeah i picked them up before christmas and i forget every time i see you two, I'm like, oh, damn it. Weekly.

Yes. And there's a little asterisk here saying, best drunk while in international waters. Oh, fantastic. Let's get on a barge. On a barge. And crack a few open. Thank you so much, James.

Thank you. Love it. What a legend. But now we've got to thank some of our fantastic Patreon supporters. And you can get involved if you get along to patreon.com slash do go on pod there's a bunch of different levels different rewards you know you can get bonus episodes you get uh access to the nicest corner of the internet the do go on patreon facebook group um you also get to vote on topics like jess's topic today was

voted on by the listeners i believe yep and that is right uh you know you get a christmas card on certain levels you know it depends there's lots of different stuff anyhow something for everyone uh one of the things we like to do is called the fact quote or question section if you sign up on the sydney schoenberg level you get involved in this this actually has a little jingle goes something like this fact quote or Ding She always remembers the ding She always remembers that she loves to sing And the way it works is You get to give us a fact, quote or question

Or brag or suggestion Or really whatever you like You also get to give yourself a title I read four out each week And I don't read them until I read them And here's the first one It comes from Katie Clays A.K.A. CEO

Brackets Charismatic Egotistical Overlord Cult leader Close bracket You got my vote CEO, brackets, charismatic, egotistical overlord. Cult leader. Close bracket. You got my vote. And Katie's got a question writing,

I've been binging a lot of time travel stuff of late and wondered if you were equipped with the DeLorean with every episode of Do Go On on tape, would you use it to go back in time and change the future? You had the DeLorean, would you go back? Do we have to listen to our own podcast while we travel back in time? Can we put something else on? That's the monkey paw part of it.

Oh, right. Constantly. You can go change the time, but you've got to listen to yourself. Jesus Christ. You've got to cringe. Especially the early stuff. I'm like, shut up. Oh, I'm like that with all the stuff.

My voice sounds different. Does it? Yeah, it's dropped as I've aged. It's matured. So, would we go back in time and change the future? Oh, that shit's super dangerous, though, isn't it? It is very dangerous. But what if I could go back in time and make us bajillionaires?

Okay. Maybe we could go back and put some money on some- I've already forgotten his name. Chagall. Chagall. Chagall. You know? Yeah.

We bet it's going to finish fourth. He could have made a fortune betting that it would finish fourth specifically. So much so that I think he'd get done for race fixing. I'm going to say, I mean, I definitely probably would, but I also probably shouldn't. Yeah, I don't know if it's a good idea. You know that episode of The Simpsons where he kept accidentally changing little things and then Donut was raining from the sky and stuff? Yeah, yeah don't know if it's a good idea. You know that episode of The Simpsons where he kept accidentally changing little things

and then Donut was raining from the sky and stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he ended up having to live with a life where everything was the same apart from everyone had lizard tongues? Yeah. That's a scientific show. I think maybe I'd go back in time and try not to change the future, but maybe just to experience time.

Yes, that's more what I'd like to do. Yeah, I'd like to be experiencing it, but I don't want to ruin everything. But at the same time- I want to ruin everything. No, but maybe you could- Because I feel like you'd try to make it better, wouldn't you? Warn people about COVID, stop World War I, all that sort of thing. Kill baby Hitler.

Yeah. But that would change so many things that there would be other tragedies that would come from it, surely. Do you know what I'd do is I'd go back in time with the money that I have now and I'd buy a house because I probably could. Yeah. Like a whole house. Yeah, yeah.

If you go far back enough. Right? And then I would go back to now and I'd have had a house this whole time. Nice. But what do you have to do to make the currency, you know, travelable, you'll have to convert it into gold bullion or something. Take it back. And shove it up my ass.

Yeah, shove it up your ass. You're going to have to gold mule yourself back to the past. And then shit out the gold, take it to the bank. Gold mule. And then buy the house. Okay. Are you willing to do that? That seems like a bit of work, doesn't it?

Mm. Eh, it's fine. So, that's a yes from Jess and a no from Matt. No. Also, I feel, I mean, I i feel very lucky i've lived a good life but there's yeah there's definitely you know people have died young that i could save their lives and stuff which is tricky because you don't know what the flow-on effects of that that would mean other people don't live and you know it's it's uh i'm glad i don't have to make that decision yeah it's almost too much pressure and here i was just thinking it's the only way I could get into property.

You're thinking I could save people's lives. I'm like, I could have a home. Yeah. And I think that sums us up. You're always thinking about houses and roofs. Yeah, well, I play The Sims. You're always thinking about building houses. Yeah, I am.

You're a constructioner. I am. Katie Clowes, thanks so much for that. You are an egotistical overlord, no doubt about it, and you've really messed us up there. The next one comes from William Hofstadler. Something that Katie didn't do, didn't answer our question. Oh, yeah.

All right, because that would have really taken the pressure. We need to see someone else before we go, oh, okay. Yeah. We need a starting point. We're sheep. Yeah. William's title is Arrgh. That's nice.

Yeah. I think that is very nice. Sums up William pretty well. William's also asking a question writing, what animal would you ride into battle? Oh, well, for me, it's got to be a giraffe. I love those things. They're quick.

They can see. They're not too quick. They can see for miles. And I'd also, I'd sit on its head, so I'm up high. Oh, yeah. Can't get me. Can't get me. All right.

Can't get me up here. You'd sit on the hand. Interesting. I'd go elephant, I think. Oh, yeah. Same sort of thing. Size, you know. I'll make it a beast. They I get me up here? You sit on the hand. Interesting. I'd go elephant, I think. Same sort of thing. Size, you know. I'll make it a beast. They'll fuck you up.

I'll go hippo. Good one. It's sort of like it's, you know, land and water. Totally. Yeah, we'd be bringing the scuba gear, though. It potentially would drown me. Absolutely. If you're tied to the back.

I don't think an elephant would, and they can swim. Yeah. But hippos can't. Remember, they go to the bottom and then they run along the bottom. Yeah, yeah. They're too heavy to swim. So you would definitely drown. What about a rhino?

They've also got that horn. Oh, I think you could win with a rhino. Or a wombat. William says, personally, I would choose goose. Oh, fantastic choice. You'll die quickly. Yeah, very, very quickly. But it'll be really cute in the meantime.

Are we talking about Goose the dog? I assume so. Oh, okay. He didn't say a goose or he just said goose. Yeah, he just said I would choose Goose with a capital G. So I think that's the animal. That's the dog Goose. He's still on Goose.

But honestly, you put anything on top of Goose and he has a little meltdown. Yeah. Crumbles. He'll flick you off real quick and then he'll run into battle because he'll want to say hello to everybody and then they'll kill him very quickly. Hello, knight in chiming armor. Oh, yeah, he's done. So we're going in with a giraffe, an elephant and a rhino. Yes.

Fantastic. I think we're going to look great. I think we'll look fantastic as we get slaughtered. Is it us three versus Goose or Goose? I guess so. Good luck to Goose. I was thinking William would be with us. Yeah, great.

And with us or against us. And everyone else would see us and they'd go, whoa, whoa, whoa, can't we talk about a peaceful solution? And we'd say, of course we can. That's what we wanted in the first place. Yeah. But I did promise my elephant it could fuck shit up. Yeah.

So I'm glad we're going to use our words, but my elephant is going to destroy your house. Yeah, but it'll spare your family. If you can get them out in time. It's on its way. Thank you, William. The next one comes from Daniel Ryan, aka, too tired to think of something clever. Can you make something up on the spot, Matt?

No. Daniel Ryan, Dr. of Annual Iron. The answer is still no. And Daniel's got a question writing, Hey, two of the stars from one of my favourite shows when I was younger, the Lex Luthor and Clark Kent actors from the TV show Smallville, have a rewatch podcast where they discuss the episode and the behind-the-scenes stuff from every episode.

Sorry to shout out another pod. Ha-ha. How dare you, Daniel. Ha-ha. And my question is this. If you could co-host a rewatch podcast with the stars of a show, which show would you choose? If Matt wants, allow him to rewatch Saints games

and have players of the game on. That's not bad. That's not bad. Daniel's got an answer. Do you want to hear it? Sure. Yes, please. My choice would probably be Supernatural.

I think the stories behind that show would be fun to talk about with the actors. Thanks and keep up what you do. Dana Ryan, you keep up what you do. I think that I don't know what I would do. I would host a re rewatch podcast with Bob Franklin and we would watch the episode of the librarians that I was in when I had one line. Oh, yeah, great.

And that would be the only episode we'd discuss. What was your line? I don't think I've seen that. Madeline, enjoy this. Do you think it's the same in Back to the Future Part 2? Thank you. That's a great line. Wow.

What was your role? I was a film buff. Wow buff i was a film student so i was giving a a film presentation in the library and i'd gone along and i had to pop pop up my question ask a very nerdy question was bob the director no bob frankel was in the episode because he was one of the the main cast who was it was the wayne hope and and robin butler is their show yeah Yeah, the Gristmill production company. I think Wayne Hope was directing. So funny. I still think one of the funniest things I've ever seen is an ad he was in for soup.

And apparently they just sort of let him go. They let him do it. Yeah. I don't remember. I love it. And he's sort of like being serious, but it's his blender and he's no good. And it ends up just being a canned soup thing. I'm like, just let funny people have fun and they'll make better ads.

No offence to ad writers out there. I think you do fantastic work. Yeah, clearly. They take up most of your brain space with their jingles. That was so funny. It's obviously a ticket back into the big time. If you used to be on a TV show that has a cult following, like The Office or something, 10 years ago.

Now you just watch the rewatch podcast. But imagine if I did a full season. We just talked about my one line with different actors. That's good. Could I do the same for Ronnie Chang's show? Absolutely, you should. My line, which was, was Fuck off you nut fuck That's even better

And your character was nut fuck No Ronnie was dressed as a Bag of nuts And I was just a uni student walking past But you were about 48 years old at that time playing a uni student Have you heard of mature age students And I was

117 that's um that would be i'd listen to that that episode listen to that series listen to that whole podcast sounds great i'm not a narcissist so i don't want to watch myself um okay so i think i would do the golden girls with betty what oh that'd be great that actually wouldn't be so awesome i think i'm probably gonna take up daniel on old saints episodes fuck it'd be parks and rec i would be so awesome. I think I'm probably going to take up Daniel on all Saints episodes. Fuck, it'd be Parks and Rec. I'd do Parks and Rec. What the fuck am I talking about?

Quaro would be great because it's like different casts every week. Parks and Rec, you've already done Golden Girls. Jeez. Yeah, I think Quaro would. Quaro. And also, actually, who am I kidding? I would absolutely watch Diagnosis of Murder with Shane Barry. And every week you could play Shane Barry and Dick with Shane Barry and Dick.

Since their answers change. Yeah. That's nice. And I call it Diagnosis Fun. Oh, yeah. That's great. I mostly just couldn't remember any of my lines from shows I've been in. And I don't think they were very good.

Yeah. Yours are good. Yeah, my line was great. Mine was, I was I was a Like I I was I was also in a Wayne and Robin show

Investigators Investigators That sounds right for a podcast And I Was What's my call it Librarian

Cafe owner No Fucking Green grocer Dog wrestler I was a dog wrestler You had a dog though That was in Naomi's show.

My only other credit. Check me out on Netflix. Sounds like you got two podcasts you can start, then. Yeah, wow. That'd be fun. Fantastic. Thank you so much, Daniel, for that question. So, I have two minutes, you know,

imagine Simpsons with the Simpsons cast would be pretty sick. Imagine like all you had to do for a podcast was watch an episode of a TV show. Like we're idiots. That we've set ourselves up. With homework. So much homework. But we learn, we live. I don't learn.

And we laugh. You learn. I laugh, that's for sure. I definitely retain something. I've got nothing, but God, I laugh. The last one this week comes from Sophie Tutor, and that's how you pronounce it. Don't let me forget again, please.

And Sophie Tutor's title is Group Mom, but I'm not very physical, so go see your dad if you need a hug. Okay. That's fair. And Sophie's given us a swap announcement writing. Oh, this is another great perk of being a patron. Sophie organises these gift swaps. Yeah.

With patrons from around the world. So nice. Done snacks and books and a few other things in the past. T-shirts. Now, Sophie writes, I don't know about everyone else, but my 2023 has been a bit of a shit show so far. Sorry to do that,

Sophie. I was just about to check. We went on a plane with her, but that was 2022, because I was worried for a split second that we ruined her year. We went on a Concorde together. So, let's do something happy and fun. Later today, I will go to the nicest corner of the internet and post the sign up for Top Swap.

Oh, maybe T-shirts is coming out. That's what I've seen. Okay. It's a t-shirt swap, but Top Swap is more fun to say. You are 100% correct. Top Swap. Top Swap. Top Swap.

Sorry for rambling. Jeez, that's so efficient. Yeah, not a ramble at all. Sorry for rambling and thank you so much for all the work you put into this network. You're the only three getting me through this year. Oh, Sophie, I really hope your year's picking up. I mean, really appreciate all those swaps you do. Yeah, you're the only three getting me through this year oh sophie i really hope you're picking up where i mean really appreciate all those swaps you do yeah you're just your vibe in general so great such a great um we're so lucky to have you in our in our little community you're so lovely i fully concur with that feel very lucky to have you involved yeah dave oh so

no we've got we've got we do have such a lovely group. So lovely. And there's, you know, some of them are our favourites. Sophie's on the list. Sophie, she's in the top 1%. The ones that organised us to go on a concord. Yeah. Absolutely up there.

So nice. So lovely. Thank you so much, Sophie. Top swap. Top swap. It's fun to say. So fun. Daniel, William and Katie as well. Thank you so much, Sophie. Top swap. Top swap. That's fun to say. So fun. Daniel, William and Katie as well.

Fantastic facts, quotes and questions. So, yeah, if you're getting on the Sidney Schoenberg level, you can get involved in that as well. But, yeah, the top swap. Top swap. It'll be going all around the world. It's so much fun. I wonder if I can get involved.

Is anyone from Gary? Can someone send me some Gary merch? That'd be sick. I've already got some great Gary merch. People have already sent that to you. I would say the bulk of my wardrobe is now Saints, Gary, or Meredith Music Festival. Yeah, a couple of Frenzel roms for good wishes. Oh, that's true.

That's true. It's pretty Frenzel heavy too. All right. Well, that brings us to the next part of the show where we like to thank a few of our other great supporters. Jess, you normally come on with a bit of a game based on the topic. Let's name their horse. Oh, fantastic.

Nice. Of course, inspired by sugar. May I kick it off? Please. From Balaclava, appropriately, here in Melbourne, Victoria, I'd love to thank Meg Haycroft, also very appropriate. Hey, Balaclava. Gee, were you made for this episode, Meg?

Meg's horse is, of course, called- Megnog. Megnog. Meg and Megnog. That's so good. Megnog. Meg's horse is, of course, called- Meg Nog. Meg Nog. Meg and Meg Nog. That's so good. Meg Nog. Meg Nog. I reckon Meg Nog is going to be a real champion horse,

a real special horse, might you say. Thank you so much for all your support, Meg. Really appreciate it. Next up, I'd love to thank from Washington, D.C. in the United States, Stephen Major. Stephen Major up from Capitol Hill. Yeah. What about King Dolly?

King Dolly. Like King Wally, the famous Queensland rugby player, league player. Apologies to rugby fans. Thank you so much, Stephen Major, a.k.a. King Dolly. Well, that's the horse. Stephen Major's riding King Dolly. Yes. To victory. To victory, a.k.a. King Dolly. Dolly. Well, that's the horse. Stephen Major's riding King Dolly. Yes. To victory.

To victory, yes. These are all in different races and all winning races. All group ones. All group ones. Does that mean really good? That's the top group. Guys, I've logged on to a horse name generator. Oh, my God.

This could change our whole lives. Logged on. With a two-column email? How much spam will we be getting from the horse generator? We already get so much spam. What do you need? What inputs do you need to spit something out? Nothing.

Whoa, that worked out really well. Here we go. All right. And we can modify if we need to, but I doubt we will. This is a horse naming generator after all. We got this. I'd love to also thank, finally for me, from Henderson in Nevada in the United States.

It's Cynthia Sanford. Spooky Whisper. Oh, my God. Okay, that is way better than what we were doing. With apologies to Meg Nog and King Dolly. No, hang on. They're pretty good. Not to say they're pretty good.

I think Spooky Whisper's in the right ballpark. It's given me Spooky and Whisper separately. I've put them together. Yes. So, there's still a human involved here. 100%. This could not happen without me. Okay. Spooky Whisper is separately, I've put them together. Yes. So there's still a human involved here. 100%. This could not happen without me. Spooky Whisper is so great.

I'll give you some more lovely names here, Jess. Please. I'd like to thank from Moura in Queensland, or Moura. It's Dean Drennan. Toronto Tap Dance. Did you bring them together as well? Yeah. Oh, that's fantastic.

These are working better together than separate. Toronto Tap Dance. Imagine calling a horse Toronto. Yawn. Toronto tap dance. I'm in. All my money on Toronto tap dance. That sounds like an 11 to 8 horse if I've ever heard one.

TDD. Coming down the outside, it's Toronto tap dance. That's fun to say. I would like to thank from Ridgecrest, California, it's Annabelle Martino. Stormy Goliath. Oh, my God. Stormy Goliath. Oh, my God. Stormy Goliath is fantastic. I'm going to outsource everything to this thing.

Everything? Naming my child? Doing the shopping? What should I buy? Stormy Goliath. All right. Sorry, honey. You asked for staples.

From East Grand Rapids in Michigan, it's the C3. Whitewater Bob. Whitewater Bob. That's awesome. That is good fun. The C3 as well. Fantastic name. E Grand Rapids sounds like a place I'd like to visit.

Yeah. Yeah. Is it my turn to thank some people? Eagrand. Yeah. I would love to thank from Scottsdale in Tasmania Katie Salisbury Okay. Oh, Tornado

Dreamer. Oh my. Yes! There's no way we would have come up with anywhere near as good as these names. Tornado Dreamer? That's really good. Holy shit. I would also love to thank from Cannon Falls in Minnesota. I reckon it is, yeah. Or Maine. No, it's Minnesota.

Minnesota. I'd love to thank Andrew. Oh, Splitstoza. Wow. Andrew Splitstoza. That's incredible. All right. From Cannon Falls.

Jackpot Geronimo. Jackpot Geronimo is taking them on the outside. Coming down straight to number one. Straight to number one. How many sweats are there? I don't know. I've never seen a horse race. It could be a couple.

It depends. Every track's different. Geronimo. That's what's beautiful about them. Coming straight down the corkscrew now. Flipping upside down. Oh, the jockey has fallen to his death. But the horse continues on and wins.

Group one, slipper dip. What happens if a jockey falls off and the horse still wins? It doesn't win, unfortunately. That's not fair. Yeah, the horse still won. The horse has done all the work. That's not fair. Sorry, jockeys.

Don't come. But if the jockey hangs on, Matt. Yeah. And they die. Yeah, that was an early episode of Who Knew It? Asked that question. It was a funny little loophole. Yeah. And they die. Yeah, that was an early episode of Who Knew It? Ask that question. It was a funny little loophole. They gave him the horse one, right?

Yeah. That rings a bell. Was I there or have I just listened? You might have listened. I'm a big fan. It was a Kirstie and Dave. Right, I'm a big fan of Who Knew It? Oh, that's very nice.

Bopper. It's my faves. And not out of obligation. Because you are obliged. Oh, 100%, but I actually enjoy it. And finally, I would love to thank from Minneapolis, Cade and Matthew Kittens. Wow, kittens.

Great. All right, last one. Here we go. Cade and Matthew Kittens. Moringo Splash. Oh, my God. Moringo Splash. That sounds like that's got to be the cocktail in the triptych club tonight.

Don't fucking tell me. Okay, no, you're right. No, fair call. She's got the finger out. And tonight. Don't fucking tell me. Okay, no, you're right. No, fair call. She's got the finger out. And she normally doesn't pull it out. No, that's serious. Yeah. I'm fucking, maybe you need to pull your finger out.

Sorry about that, Bob. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm so sorry about that, Bob. I stepped out of line there. I'm really sorry. Please, Bob. Please forgive me. I don't know that I can.

Bob, can you forgive me and please join me in thanking Cade, Matthew, Andrew, Katie, The C, Annabelle, Dean, Cynthia, Stephen and Meg from Eggnog. Eggnog's very good. Finally. I mean, imagine what we could have come up with if we went back in time and changed it to a world where there was no horse naming.

I'm going to use the horse name generator for other stuff too. Yeah, great. I think we've got to bring that in. That could be a game changer each week. All right. Now, Dave, you're very good at explaining how the TripDitch Club works. Well, the TripDitch Club, it's our clubhouse, our hall of fame, if you will, our hangout zone to celebrate the people

that have been supporting the show for three consecutive years they've already had a shout out a couple of years back but to thank them again we induct them into this hall of fame called the triptych club and inside it's a bar it's a clubhouse it's a gig it's a chill out area there's there's a hockey table there's billiards there's bands that play. Jess is behind the bar. Every week she adds a new cocktail and a new hors d'oeuvre or a bit of food. It must be stressful because you keep the old menus still exist, right? These are just adding to it. Yeah.

There's now hundreds of drinks. But I think it helps that we kind of add slowly. So, it really feels like every week I have to learn one new recipe. Yes. And your mind is very good at retaining old information. Yeah, and sort of I think it's muscle memory. Yeah. A lot of the time, too, people will be like, can I have this?

And it's from like episode 50 and I'm like, yeah, no worries. Yeah. So that's nice. But, yeah, it is a lot but, you know, that's just part of the perks. I probably also, which is obviously a catchphrase, but one of the helpful things as well is that most of the things you've put together over the last year are undrinkable. Yeah, there's a lot of dog shit on there.

Yeah, so it makes the choice a lot easier. Yeah, and very, very hot soup. Yeah, the soup is too hot. And it is not cooling down. Dangerously hot, some would say. I lost my mind that episode. I laughed so hard. I loved it.

It's too hot. I remember it well. I loved it. It's too hot. I remember it well. I have a special cocktail this time. Oh, great. It's called the Celestial Jelly Bean. And what I've done is I've got jelly bean infused vodka. Remember when you would do that as a teenager? And it's essentially just that, but then with other stuff.

That sounds great. I never did that as a teenager, but I loved it. You put Skittles in vodka and you just let it sit there and then you've got Skittle flavoured vodka. but then with other stuff. That sounds great. I never did that as a teenager, but I loved it. You never put Skittles in vodka and you just let it sort of sit there and then you got Skittle-flavoured vodka? No, but- Oh, with Red Rippers? No. Oh, yes, I did that one.

Yeah. It goes red. Yeah. And it tastes delicious. That sounds awesome, though. It was awesome. I did go to Frostbite, though, and they had the Sloppies, Slushies, of all those. I used to love the musk-flies, slushies of all those.

I used to love the musk-flavoured slushies. A musk slushie. So I think they did that. They just had the – but I played a premium. You were doing it at home for much better value. Auntie Donna did it at one of their About Tonight specials with vodka, and then the show was over and we just had a lot of vodka left over, so we were just doing shots.

Okay. And then I went to a pub where I went to Spleen because that's where everybody was because it was a Monday night and I walked in thinking I looked quite sober and Adam Knox told me later that was not the case. Were you on the line-up? I walked in like, hi, everybody. They're like, oh, fuck. Were you on the line-up? I walked in like, hi, everybody. And they're like, oh, fuck.

Were you on the show? No, just catching up with friends. That would have been fun to see you on stage off your chops. Dave, oh, wait, so, yeah, we've got a cocktail there. That's a cocktail, yeah. And, Dave, do you have a band booked this time? You're never going to believe it. I have booked this week.

I've been trying to get this guy for years. One of my all-time favourite songs. He'll be performing it. Peter Saar's tip, and he'll be performing Where Do You Go To, My Lovely. I want to know. A great track. No, different song to that one.

Okay. How is it a different song to that one? I want to know. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. No, I'm afraid it's a different song. Oh, okay. What? Where do you go to, my lovely?

Do you know that song? No. It's amazing that I've booked him this week. This is the coincidence because there's a lyric in the song where he says, Your name, it's heard in high places. You know the Aga Khan. He sent you a racehorse for Christmas and you keep it just for fun. For a laugh.

And is this a song you actually know? How did you find that? This is a great song. It's featured heavily in the film The Darjeeling Limited, the Wes Anderson movie. Have you ever seen that? No, I haven't. It's a great track. Love it.

Big fan. Wow. But when you said Aga Khan, that is why it rang a bell for me, because of the Peter Sarstedt song. Wow. And I booked him. Fantastic. And that's coincidence. Absolutely.

A beautiful coincidence. Well. Week after week, he has an amazing coincidence. Does that bring us up to the time where I start bringing some people in? Yeah. We've got eight inductees this week. Great. Love to welcome in.

A little theory of the mind. I'm standing at the door, about to lift the velvet rope. I've got a clipboard. If I read out your name, you jog on in because the crowd, everyone who's already in there is cheering your name. They're losing their freaking minds. Dave's on this stage. He's emceeing.

He's hyping you up. Jess is hyping up. Dave. Yep. Are we ready? Yes. All right. I'm lifting the rope.

Here we go. Please welcome. Dave, hold my hand. Oh, here we go. From Manchester, New Hampshire in the United States, it's Jill Stewart. It's a real thrill, Stewart. Woo!

So, point your hand out and shake Jill's hand. From Address Unknown, can only shoo him from deep within the fortress of the moles, it's Tim Randall. I'm a real fan-dal of Tim Randall. Yes! From Brie or Bray or Brie, it's from California in the United States, it is Brandon Kilpatrick. Some people like their oysters Kilpatrick, but I prefer my Brandon's Kilpatrick. Yeah, come on in, Brandon!

Some people like their oysters kill Patrick, but I prefer my Brandon's kill Patrick. Yeah, come on in, Brandon. From Orlando, Florida in the United States, it's Patrick Plamondon. Plamondon. I am a Flamondon. Okay. You're going to have to talk me through that one. No, just keep going.

Don't ruin the flow. Plam. Orlando, you're magic to me, Patrick. I've got a Plam. Yes. It's a hangout with Patrick Plamondon. Yeah. From Cincinnati in God's country,

Ohio in the United States, it's Andrew Hettrick. This night is about to get Hettrick. Sounds a bit like Hectic. And a bit like Hattrick. Yeah, I'm on a Hettrick. I'm on a Hettrick. From Richmond in Virginia in the United States, it's Luna. I love you to the moon and back.

If you'll be, if you'll be my baby. From Edinburgh in Great Britain, it's Jasmine Lindeman. Jasmine. You're coming in. You're the Linda man. You da Linda man. There it is That's pretty good

Because written down Looks like jazz mine I was going to say You're jazz mine But that sounds weird It does sound weird So I've gone with You da

Thank you so much Matt Appreciate you Finally from Address unknown Can only shoo him again From within the Fortress of the moles It's Mariko

Mariko The freako In a good way Yeah High five To make sure that They're in on the joke We mean that as praise Welcome in Mariko. The Freako. Yeah. In a good way. Yeah. High five. To make sure that they're in on the joke. Yeah, they know that we mean that as praise. Welcome in Mariko, Jasmine, Luna, Andrew, Patrick, Brandon, Tim,

and my cousin Jill. Make yourselves at home. Grab yourself one of those drinks that Jess said. The Celestial Jelly Bean. Have a listen to that. Peter Sarster. Peter Sarster. And get some very hot soup from the 60s.

And let us know, Jess, anything we need to let them know. If you want to go onto that horse name generator, it's on thestoryshack.com forward slash tools forward slash horse hyphen name hyphen generator. Check it out. I just picked up the pen. What? I was going to generator. Check it out. I just picked up the pen. What? I was going to try and write it down.

You can also suggest a topic. There's a link in the show notes. And you don't have to be a Patreon to suggest a topic. If there's a story that you think would make for a good episode, send it our way. We love your suggestions. And you can find us at DoGoOnPod across all social media and DoGoOnPod.com is our website.

If you want to hear about future tours and live shows and that sort of stuff, we're behind the scenes talking about a few exciting things. The Patreons will be the first to hear about it, but then if you follow us on social media, that's another place to find out. So certainly you'll be the first to hear about and the first to be able to get tickets

if you go to Patreon.com slash Do go on do go on pod and sign up on any level but also follow us on do go on pod on we're close to 10k on on instagram in particular whoa we'd really like to right now that's what that's almost half of what you have jess could you send a couple our way mate i try but they're like no thanks no nerd tent we're just just here for Jess's hot girl era. Yes. And boy, oh boy, are we in. We're in the thick of things. I'm so freaking hot right now.

Oh, my God. You're hotter than this soup we're standing in. Dave, boot this home. Hey, we'll be back next week with another episode, but until then, also thank you so much for listening. Until then, goodbye. Later. Bye. episode but until then also thank you so much for listening and until then goodbye we can wait for clean water solutions or we can engineer access to clean water we can acknowledge

indigenous cultures or we can learn from indigenous voices we can demand access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. It's a night for the whole family. Be a part of Kids Night when the Toronto Rock take on the Colorado Mammoth

at a special 5 p.m. start time on Saturday, March 9th at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton. The first 5,000 fans in attendance will get a Dan Dawson bobblehead courtesy of Backley Construction. Punch your ticket to Kids Night on Saturday, March 9th at 5 p.m. in Rock City at torontorock.com.