Do Go On - 401 - The Tri-State Crematory Scandal

Episode Date: June 28, 2023

Have you ever wondered what would happen if a cremator decided to stop cremating and just keep the bodies? Well unfortunately we don't have to wonder, because in Georgia in the early 2000s, that exact thing happened. Warning: This is a bit of a creepy episode!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 05:40 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our merch: https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:Jana Cone’s articles in the Tifton Gazette: Part One, Two, Three and Four https://www.timesfreepress.com/news/2012/feb/12/horror-in-noble/ https://www.grunge.com/911165/the-chilling-tri-state-crematory-scandal-explained/https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna6891712  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenja, Amana, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Do Go One. My name is Dev Wonki and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart.

Hey Dave, so good to be here. Anything else to it? Well, no, I don't think there's anything else to add. Apart from maybe if I could pose a question, how good is it to be alive? I wish I was never born. And I love you both. Matt, what is this show? What are we here for?

Well, the way it works is here at Do Go On HQ. That's right. in the headquarters right now. Here at Stupid Old Studios, the best studios in the world. Certainly not stupid nor old. No, brand new. Very intelligent. Yeah.

So it's an ironic title. Very ironic. If you get it, you get it. If not stay away. If you don't, it's not for you. Okay, that's not for you. Back off. If you don't get it, that's on you, not on us.

And fuck you. So the way this show works in particular is one of the three of us chooses a topic or has it, is helped to choose it based on a vote by the patrons? Nailing it so far. Often the topics have been suggested by a listener, then we'll learn about that topic. We'll bathe in it. We'll read or listen to audio books. We'll watch documentaries.

We'll browse articles. And then we'll come back with all that new knowledge in the form of an almost like a high school report. And we'll present it to the other two, like a high school oral presentation. The other two, usually to try to keep things fun, will be quite annoying, interrupting when some listeners at home, we go, just get to the point, but those listens, of course, should just do their own research. Yeah. And that's something I say across all facets of life, do your own research. This week, Dave is doing the topic, and he is about to get us on a topic with a question, which is what we always do.

Dave, what is your question this week? I can't believe that was the 401st time we've explained the show. We've gotten so good at it. So it's just things now. You haven't asked me in a while, and I reckon for good reason. It's a beautiful dance we do. Yes, exactly. I do have a question to start us on the topic, and the question is,

taking a page out of Matt Stewart's question recently. What is the title of episode 10 of this podcast? Death burial or other. Missing the key word there. Death cremation or other. Cremation burial or other. Ding, ding, ding, ding. That was like word all you had in the right spots, but not quite right words, but not the right spot.

I reckon I get the point there. Why? Because I said the right words In the wrong order Oh we've paid less than that before I said the right words in the right order I'd be happy to give you both half a point each for that one But cremation is integral

That's the only reason I was a bit of a bastard about that Because You're a massive asshole then actually I thought that was rude A bit of a bastard Try a king of the bastards I'd say you're a real bitch I needed to hear

Cremation because we're going back there today Today's episode is all about A crematorium. Oh, sexy. This topic was voted for by the Patreon supporters. And it was the most death-filled topic. And can you believe that this one wasn't close for the first time in a long time? This was the runaway winner.

Thank you to the Patreon, people for voting. They chose death. But it has been suggested by three people. Thank you to Stephen Dumbled from San Diego. Tony Martinez from Melbourne, Florida. Spelt BORN. and he wrote in brackets, the real way to say it. Okay.

Okay, Tony. Well, I don't think we can argue with that. We have taken out most of the letters in the back half. That's the Australian way. Also, Tony, I noticed that you suggested this five years ago. So, hey, you're still hanging with us, Tony? Tony, yeah. Tony, Tony and Melbourne.

And finally, thanks to S.G. Pennington. Oh, my God. From Chickamauga, Georgia in the United States. Who also wrote a little message as they grew up near where this topic takes place and I'll read that at the end to not give away too much. I reckon, does this guy travel town to town selling some sort of a tonic that Q is all? S. G. Paddingtonic. You're there, sir. Step right up. Try this tonic. That's amazing. Yes, so, thank you those people. Just before we get on to that, I want to reopen this idea of

listeners sending in a quick jingle explaining the show. Because you know how I just butched it? For a little while there, we did jingles, but we got them to email them to our email address. So I've got, and they all just went missing in there. So I've got an idea. Let's, I haven't made the email address yet, but let's say something real specific that won't be taken by on Gmail yet. Like do go on pod jingle at gmail.com. What about do jingle on? Do jingle on. Surely that might be taken. All right. Do jingle on at gmail.com. Send them in to that email address and don't sign us up to any spam. Okay.

Our do go on, Pod's getting enough of that as it is. And that's why all the emails go missing in there. So if you could just send it to do jingle on at gmail.com, if you've got a jingle, or if you've sent one through in the past that never got played, resend it and we'll play the best ones, or maybe all of them, in upcoming episodes. Great, okay. Fantastic.

Do jingle on. If I seem distracted during this episode, I'll be signing up to a new email address. No, you won't forget. You won't forget. So our story today takes place in Noble in northwestern Georgia. Noble is tiny and is near the tri-state corner where three states meet, Tennessee, Georgia, and Alabama. What a beautiful intersection there. It's also called a tri-point, which is an area that's a geographical point where three boundaries of three borders meet.

Georgia actually continues to dispute the location of the border with Tennessee. They argue that a small portion of the Tennessee River should be located. in Georgia, which over the couple of centuries since the map was drawn has become more and more of a big deal as Georgia's population has expanded and has gone through drought and really needs the water. So now they're like, no, no, no. That's on our side, but they dispute where the border is. It's still an ongoing thing with threats of going to the Supreme Court. In 2019, Tennessee State Senator Todd Gardenhire is an incredible name. Circassically told a group that Georgia could have access to all the water they want from the Tennessee River as long as the intake is located

across the river from a sewage treatment plant at moccas and bend in Chattanooga. Whoa. Now that's a bitch. Wow. Yeah, this is big. This is called the Tennessee Georgia water dispute. This episode? That's what that.

Okay. But like, holy shit. I feel like you just summed most of it up. Because he did say this episode's got a lot of death. But what have I told you that the Tennessee Georgia Water dispute is certainly not the most controversial or famous event to happen in this part of the world, not by a long shot. More controversial than this water, but they just take little quips at each other? I can't believe that. I don't know where I've got it from, but some show I used to watch as a kid or something, there would be a running joke like this is the best in the tri-state area or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I just love that idea of the tri-state area. Yeah, and I think there's big rivalries between those three meeting points. The best falafel in the tri-state area is something you might hear. Yes. Maybe. Do we have a tri-state area? I never really thought about it.

Yeah, is there a south Australia, Queens and New South Wales? Yeah, there'd be. The tri-state area. They're some damn good falafel in that area. In that corner of desert. There's like 16 falafers. Would they not also be Victoria, New South Wales, South Australia? Oh, you're right.

And that would be... And Western Australia, South Australia, Northern Territory. Yeah. Northern Territory, Queens, all of them. Apart from Tasmania. Part of Tasmania. Whoa.

How about that? Are you looking at a map, Dave? Yeah. Has it mine. Yeah. Yeah, you got me. Because he gets all serene when he's looking at a map. He does.

We do have New South Wales, South Australia, Victoria. Do we have any that are anywhere near, you know, populated? Because they're all in desert corners, pretty much. Pretty much. I mean, Mildura is pretty close to the, and Remarks right on the... Okay. At the South Australian side of the border. One day, can we put this on our list with doing a podcast on a barge in the international waters?

Oh, we'll be all staying in a different state. Let's do one. We'll do a pod in the tri-state area. We're at each standing in a different state. I love that. That's awesome. That, no, can I just say, though, if I could just add to that. Yeah.

That is awesome. That is fucking awesome, man. And they've all got names. They've all got names. So the corner of South Australia, Victoria and New South Wales, that's called McKay. Cape Corner. South Australia, Queensland and New South Wales is Cameron Corner. And Queensland Northern Territory essay is called Popel Corner.

So I think McCabe Corner might be the most realistic. That's the most accessible to us. Yeah, I say, let's put it on the list. Because we've made such big strides on the way to the International Waters episode. I love to just add things to the list. To the pile. Yeah, it's good. Things to make me feel low-key stress to it.

Things to wake me up in the middle of the night. I haven't been to the tri-stand area. I reckon I was thinking about the barge one. We should do one at least on the water somewhere. We just do one on the Yarra River. On a pier. You just get one of those little boats that you can hire for the day. Exactly.

We just record a pod. That counts. Arne Donner did one recently. That's right. And that made me think, what a great start. Yeah, but what if we took that boat and just kept going? Oh, that's true. We just got to go a couple hundred kilometres offshore.

And then we're in international waters. Easy. When there's a little electric, we have to like push the distress beacon because we're strained. Oh, yeah, they've definitely got distress beacons in them. And we call it. Absolutely. And we just rename it.

Yeah, no, no, they'd be straying out together when we press that distress beam. Oh, yeah, it was far up a flare, shall we? Oh, they're coming. That's for sure. We just, we rename the boat. Abage. Abage. A barge.

A barge. Life from Abage. Now, we've got a little off topic there, but basically something much more controversial has happened in this area. In early 2002, the United States Environmental Protection Agency, the EPA, they've got an office in Atlanta, Georgia, and they received an anonymous tip that something was not quite right at tri-state crematory, a crematorium in Noble. The EPA made a surprise visit to the crematorium in February 2002, and it really was a surprise. visiting visit on all counts. After what they'd seen, they were in way over their heads and called in a number of agencies to help in their investigation. But what on earth had they discovered? This is the story of the tri-state crematory scandal. Whoa. Because it feels like EPA

seems like a weird thing to be called for the crematory, doesn't it? It feels like you'd want some body to do with humans. Well, that's what they went in there and they said, this is more than we can handle. So they called in the FBI. They called in all these other government agencies. CIA? Yeah, probably not.

A and Z. NB. And, yeah, because the EPA, weren't they one of the major players in the Simpsons movie? Iepa, Iepa, Iepa. Gosh, I've only seen it the once at the cinema. Can't remember. I've watched it again recently.

Good fun. I think it's not as bad as a, yeah, I think it's right. Spider pig, spider pig does whatever a spider pig does. Can he swing from a web? No, he can't, he's a pig. It's just locked in my brain forever. Just remembers it. Okay, so what had they discovered?

Let's back up here for a second. Tri-State crematory was set up in the mid-1970s by Tommy Ray Marsh on Highway 27, three miles north of Lafayette, He is commonly referred to as Ray. Okay. How'd he get that name? Even though his first name is Tommy. Previously, cremation had been difficult to obtain in the area with no crematoriums for miles and miles.

And as the name suggested, Ray's business catered to a number of funeral homes in Georgia, Alabama and Tennessee. Ray Marsh, a respected local man, saw this gap in the market and built a crematorium in his backyard. But it was quite a big, it's 16 acres. It was quite a big property. It's not like, yeah, because they have a lot of roadside zoos and stuff over there that are like just backyard zoos. Yeah, wow. I didn't know they did that for crematoriums and other things as well. What else can you do in your backyard over in the US?

Maybe you want. That's the thing. It's the land of the free to what you want. Firing range. That'd be sick. Imagine that. Just been able to go, not have to drive anywhere to get a few rounds off. Yeah.

That would be the dream. That would cut down so many. hours of commute time for me. Yeah. Would you spend like two hours a day on the way to and from the driving range? Yeah, yeah. The driving range is where I go and shoot. Which a lot of people say is inappropriate because the golfers are there trying to hit

balls, but if they hit the balls, I shoot the balls. That's just a moving target. It's like shooting. The clay, the, one of the clay pigeons. Clay pigeons, too big, too easy. I need a smaller target. Yeah, I call on pigeon balls. Yeah, but if you're having a bad day, you go next door to the mini golf course and then you

just start having to shoot. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, kid. Well, that's where, you know, if, that's where I, you know, if, that's where I'm I started as a child. Where I started shooting was at mini-cop courses. Anyway. Not to shoot the ball between King Kong's left.

Yeah. Ray Marsh, he builds his own crematory. According to Joy Lucker Chick-Smith, incredible name, Joy, writing for the Times Free Press, laws regulating funeral crematories were lax. Marsh hadn't renewed his license for several years, and no one was requiring him to do so. For the most part, people just trusted him.

Yeah. He's a man you can trust. It's Ray Marsh. Marsh, he's built in his backyard. It's all good. His real name's Tom. Why is he changing to Ray? No, I'm probably something above the board reason. In 1996, Ray got sick and his son, Ray Brent Marsh, known as Brent. Okay.

They're both known by the name's. So I just, Dad's Ray, Brent's the son. Brent took over the family business when Ray got sick. Okay. At the time, Brent was a football player at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, playing for the Chattanooga Mocks. Formerly, the Chattanooga Mockersons. Mox.

Yo mox, love that. I love having your team mascot being shoes. Comfy shoes. comfy shoes. Now, am I right in saying it's the home of the Chattanoogie Choochooch? There's an old-timey song. Yeah, from Company Way or something? Yeah, it's like an old...

It's a Chattanooga Chitoo. Old War song. And they use a little clip of it on Madazelle, Shaw McCullough's show a lot. Ah. Referencing some politician, which I never going to do. got the joke, but I laughed. Every time. To not make anyone around me think I'm silly.

Yeah, kind of that. Yeah, I get it. I get it. It's classic. It's a good reference. Written in 1941 by Mac Gordon. It's referring to a train, the Chattanooga Choochoochoochoo. Describing the train's route.

There you go. But they're also famous for the Chattanooga mocks. So Brent, he was at university at the time, he played with Hall of Fame wide receiver Terrell Owens, who played his first seven seasons in the NFL for the San Francisco 49ers and was most known for his controversial touchdown celebrations. For example, in 2002... Set a fire. He punched a kid.

There's quite a few of these that have been written about, but the one that got my attention was he, in 2002, Owens pulled out a Sharpie out of his sock to sign the football he caught to score a touchdown with and then gave the ball to his financial advisor. Oh, that is so funny. To avoid future incidents, players were promptly banned from bringing any outside objects onto the field. That is awesome. That's so funny and so weird. But, okay.

What was his name? Terrell Owens. I think he's quite a famous... He's in the Hall of Fame. He's seen as one of the best ever do his position. I know a lot about football. Yeah, it shows. Unlike his teammate, Brent Marsh wouldn't make it to the NFL,

but he had been a star lineman for the Lafayette High School Ramblers, where he won the Rambler Award and the Hustler Award for the football team. He was also captain of the track team and was named Sprinter of the Year and had perfect attendance in his senior year at Lafayette High. A good student. Dave, I don't know if you did this on purpose, but you said those awards like we would understand what they meant. What was the Hustler Award?

I thought you guys might jump in it because it's so ridiculous. It's pretty funny. Hustler award. I did have a thought of like, let's have those awards, but I shock the Rambler Award. Yeah. Well, I feel like, I'm probably the bigger rambler here.

Well, you know, we can put this in the next golden shiny galleries, and I've got a few months to start really rambling. Okay. Now, let me tell you what I had for breakfast. Guess what was the same thing I just had for lunch? Sorry, just as the pod hustler, I've got to hustle you along here. I think you know what a hustler is. I'm just going to hustle you.

I'm a hustler. Hey. Yeah, respect the hustle, which is me moving you alone. I'm hustling, baby. Matt is both the rambler and the hustler of our group. Yeah. Both important roles. Well, one is more beneficial.

Now there's a bit fucking tedious a lot of the time. Some people like it. Occasionally there'll be a listener who's like, no, leave in the rambled bits. I think more of people are quietly going, thank God you've stopped on those ramble bits. So he's won some awards. He's got a perfect attendance.

He sounds like a model student. Yes, and he's a big guy, a strong guy, a fit guy with a very promising future. Yes. But when his dad got sick, sadly, he had to drop out of college to run the family funeral home and crematory. Brent himself wasn't a licensed funeral director, but at the time, like I said before, state officials didn't monitor licenses closely. It didn't really matter. He'd learned it from his dad.

He took over. Yeah. I mean, it's in his blood. That's not the kind of that you want to learn how to cremate. You don't do that from a book in some learning facility. You do that on the job. Exactly. You live and you breathe it.

You breathe those ashes. You don't read books, you burn them. Yeah. Whoa, whoa. Hang on. I didn't realize what I was agreeing to there. Yeah, no. So Brent took over and to the outside world,

everything seemed to be running normally. Great. Until October 2000, when something alarming was noticed at the property. This part of the story has been written about extensively by Yana Cohn from the Tifton Gazette in Georgia. None of those words are real. Yana Cone Yana Cone Yana wrote a great four-part article in 2007

that I will link to on the show notes on this small part of the story Her name does sound like an Aussie Bogan offering you some chuff Yeah Yana Cone Yeah mate, what Yana Cone?

Well I personally prefer bombs That's what the cones are, is it? I don't know I don't chuff as much as I used to I thought cones were bongs No No, they probably are Edit out this bit, please.

I don't want everyone knowing when nerds. Oh, God, sorry, it was just the most bogan-sounding word I could think of. Yarn a cane. Now, crematoriums use a lot of gas for their cremators. And at Tri-State, they weren't plumbed in and needed deliveries of propane. They were supplied by Blossmann Gas Inc. And one of their delivery drivers was Gerald Cook. Cook took on the delivery to Tri-State when one of his colleagues and friends no longer wanted to do it.

And Cook was apprehensive about visiting the crematorium. He had a couple of reasons, maybe because it was a crematorium and they're just a bit creepy. Or he also had a memory of when he was 12 years old of Ray Marsh, the founder of the crematory, saying something creepy to Cook's dad. Yarned Cohen in one of the articles writes, Ray Marsh had asked Cook's father if he could borrow a forklift to place a body in the incinerator. Marsh had gone on to explain that the body was just too large for him to live. Cook's father turned down Marsh's request because his forklift could only be used on concrete, not on gravel or dirt, which is what they had at Marsh's property. Marsh responded that if he couldn't get the body picked up and put in, he would have to cut it up and put it in piece by piece.

Cook, the gas delivery man, remembered this comment and it gave him the creeps. Now he's going back to this place. Yeah. Make that too people with the creeps. Right, because of big corpses or you think that there's something else going on here? The chopping up of the corpse. I mean, they're dealing with big. I mean, they're dealing with corpses.

That's what you'd have to do. I don't think that is what you'd have to do. I'm wondering if it's not a human corpse. A horse. Horse corpse? Oh. T-rex. I was singing like hippopotamus.

Oh, no, probably T-Rex. Oh, yeah. It feels a bit weird, too, doesn't it, using a forklift to lift a body? I don't know why that just feels a bit. But I hope they still advertise that they're like, we really respect. Like they're like white lady ribbons or whatever. of a funeral homes, we respect your grandpapa.

Yeah, we treat your family with the utmost respect. With the utmost forklifts. We'll heave the carcass of your loved ones into the incinerator with love and care. And if you would prefer us to do it by hand, we will be able to put it in bit by bit, wearing our long white gloves for respect. We'll chop them up with a hacksaw, chainsaw, or both. Foot by foot, leg by leg. With love.

Stop it. Then we'll set fire to that course. Respectfully. Respecting their memories. We'll play Elton John as we press. We flick on the incinerator. I'm still standard. Crocodile.

Crocodile. Crackado. Don't go break you. Does he have a funeral song? None of them feel that appropriate. Candle in the wind. Candle in the wind. That's probably while I was a good.

Lived your love. When he re-released Crocodile Rock is Diana Rock. Diana Rock. Anna Rock. Diana Rock. Rest and praise the people's princess. What are we talking about? Forklift.

A creepy crick. Cook, his dad growing up, had said to Ray Marsh, you can't use my forklift. And Ray Marsh has said, I'll have to try. chop the body up and that's freaked him out his whole life and now he's delivering to this property. So he's already got the creeps and as Cook arrived at the property he already had a shiver running down his spine. He was freaked out, something just felt a bit off. He drove around the sprawling property with many buildings looking for where to go. Shit was everywhere. There's junk and rubbish all over this place.

He parked his truck, left the engine running and walked up to one of the buildings to try and find out where he should go. Cohn writes, as he neared the end of the building, he stopped suddenly aghast. There, to the left of the path, 10 feet from the building, lay the skeletal remains of a person. Stunned at the sight, Cook tried to gather his wits and make sure it was what it appeared to be, asking himself, am I seeing what I'm seeing? He looked around. What Cook saw mingled in with the debris made his knees weak with fear. Human skulls were clearly visible. Skulls! Skulls! Some with patches of hair and skin still clinging to the bone. Others bleached white and bare.

Bones he could not identify also lay in the mix, and his nightmare deepened at the sight of whole bodies with tissue desperately clinging to their bones. The sight of it burned itself into his memory. Right, so this guy, what, to save costs, he's not incinerating him? Or he's incinerator broke and he just never got a fixed? Well, it's not weird for him to have bodies.

But Cook... It's weird to have bodies in that state. Yeah, but if he's got an incinerator there, And this is like he shouldn't have these bodies. Why hasn't he gotten rid of the bodies? This is confusing. But the first, Cook's first thought was,

are these murder victims? Is this some sort of sacrificial cult? All alone on the large property, he started to fear that he's in some serious danger. He's like, I don't think I'm meant to be seeing this. Because remember he's not, he can't find the crematory.

He's driving around going, is it here? And you've seen this and gone, oh shit. He was broken out of his panic-fueled days when you heard a voice yelling over the top of his truck engine, Gas man, oh gas man. Oh, that's the creepiest thing you've said so far to me.

Someone said it like, gas man, oh, gas man. You-hoo! It was the voice of Brent Marsh calling out to him. Cook the driver was initially paralyzed with fear, but he was able to snap out of it, and he quickly leapt into action and ran away from the pile of bones and towards the voice calling out to him. So he's not in the truck.

He's on foot. He's on foot. And he sprinted back to his truck. But just as he approached, he slowed to a walk and tried to look as casual and calm as he could. And he said, well, I certainly haven't seen anything weird. What have you been up to? How are you? He's pissed his pants, but he's playing very cool.

Cook stepped out into the open just as Brent Marsh appeared and came around the truck. Cook continued to try and play it cool. He says, where's your tank at? Probably going, what you're saying? Yana Cone? He's playing a real cool. Marsh stared at him and motioned towards the crematorium. Cook got into his truck and drove over to it whilst Marsh followed behind him on foot.

Marsh was watching his every move. And Cook, still frightened out of his mind, connected the hose from the truck to the tank, and started the pump. It seemed to take a lifetime to fill. But eventually, it was full and he was out of there like a shot. But he couldn't get the images of the bones, skulls and hair out of his mind. He drove around aimlessly not sure what to do. Eventually, he was able to calm himself down and he told his boss Bobby Brown what he had seen.

His boss was Bobby Brown? I knew it. I knew it. What do you mean you knew it? You knew his boss was Bobby Brown? I could just feel it. Is Whitney involved? I don't know who Bobby Brown.

Whitney Houston, Sousand. Oh. Yeah, I can confirm it as him. He's a musician. Yeah. Was he the guy who had a song, Ain't Nobody Humping Around? Is that him? Oh, the humping guy.

Yeah, you know. Is that him? I don't know. This is so creepy. It is so creepy, isn't it? I'm in, though. I'm way into this story. I love how I don't know what's going on.

I'm scared. It is scary. This is like, and so often I'm grateful for the fact that we no longer record late at night, but especially now. This would be a creepy one to walk back to our cars. Yeah. Afterwards. Yeah. Yeah.

Bobby Brown's saying humping around. Okay, great. Can't believe I missed that one. So he just sort of drew. It might have been, like in your defence, you would have been quite young when it came out. I was many hundreds of years old already, so. It was your prime discotheque. Yeah, yeah.

I was up and around already at that stage. Okay, a little brag there. Oh, thanks for believing me. So he's kind of driven around feeling a bit lost. Yeah, but eventually he's like, I'll talk to Bobby Brown. He'll hump it out. Hump it around. We'll talk it.

Mano and Mano, no. According to Cone, they decided to think. think about it overnight and discuss it the next day. So Cook went back out to finish his route. So he went back out. Did the rest of the day's work. Right. The next morning, his boss, Bobby Brown, told Cook he hadn't slept overnight,

tossing and turning over what to do. Bobby Brown as well. Yeah. Bobby, yeah. He's humping around, Bobby Brown. That's why he's not sleeping. He's like, oh, yeah. Wait, what were we talking about again yesterday?

I have not slept overnight. I haven't slept if you know what I mean. Oh, yeah, it's a thing. What was that thing again? Not an orgy I was in. No. No, no, it certainly wasn't that. Because one of the reasons they're not sure what to do is that, like, this is a very small

community. They all know each other. The kids all go to school together and stuff. So they're like, I don't know. Who do we tell about this? What's the problem? He decided the boss that they should tell the local sheriff, Steve Wilson, what Cook had seen. So they went to the sheriff and told him and thought he would investigate the complaint.

Except he didn't. He decided straight away to ignore their report. Straight away. I love that. Well, I won't be giving this any thought. I think you got it and just put it straight in the shredder. Why? This is why they ended up going to the EPA.

When you can't get your local sheriff on board, you've got to go over his head to the Environmental Protection Agency. He thought it was a regulatory issue and not his problem, basically. He later said, if somebody tells me they saw bodies at the crematory, that's what a crematory is. A place for bodies. That's what, I mean, he sort of understand that as well, but the extra details of rotting corpses in piles.

Yeah. Might make you pause to thought. There's bits. We can see their bones. They should never see their bones. No, they should be cremated by bone-bearing stage. Yeah, but it sounds like did he then spit some chewing tobacco into a spittoon? That kind of operator.

Yeah. I'm not getting up from my desk for this. I feel like he didn't do much, this guy. Meanwhile, gas man, Gerald Cook, had continued his deliveries and he avoided tri-state crematory for 12 months. Another new employee had made the next deliveries, but in October 2001, Cook saw the address back on his delivery route. He was freaked out but assumed that Sheriff Wilson had dealt with the manor. He thought everything should be fine now. So Cook arrived at the property and again Brent Marsh was nowhere to be seen. No worry. Cook wasn't there for small talk anyway. He wanted

to get in, fill the tank and get out. And now Liz knows where the tank is. He doesn't have to go and see the body. Yes. From Cohn's third article on this part of the story, while waiting for the tank to fill, Cook noticed a green John Deer backhoe. Another word for like a digger.

About 20 feet away that was similar to one he had, so he walked over to give it a closer look. Just as before, Cook was suddenly aghast, a few feet from the backhoe, leaning up against another pile of debris, a body layout in the open, fully exposed to anyone who looked in that direction. Unbelievably, Cook was reliving his nightmare of a year before.

Why the fuck did he walk over to have a look at a digger? I wouldn't. Have you not learnt from having a wander and looking around this place? And now I definitely understand why his mate didn't want to do this job anymore. And that's why he's stuck with it. Ah, yeah. And he's just seeing bodies. Yeah.

But he had a look and he couldn't get out of his mind. So nothing, the sheriff, and so much time's going to, and buy. They thought the sheriff was doing something about it? Yeah, yeah. They thought the sheriff would drop by. He didn't. He didn't give a fuck. We'll leave it with you, Sheriff. Yeah, yeah. But they didn't know. Yeah, yeah. You can hear the shredder going on in the background. And he hasn't been there nearly a year and he saw it. It's got to be sorry. No one else has made any complaints. Surely the sheriff sorted it out as a one-off thing. And he went there and went, no, there's a body. We're a small tight-knit community. I probably wouldn't have heard about

it being sorted out. Would it just happened, I guess. Again, the ways of nausea rolled over Cook. his only thought was to flee as fast as he could. He wanted to leave that instant and go to tell someone, but he couldn't, not yet. Instead of fleeing, when he saw Marsh exit the small building, he turned his back to the horrid site, walked nonchalantly back to the propane tank, and stood there anxiously waiting for the tank to fill and despising that terrible place. So Marsh has come back out and he's like, fuck, I've got to play it cool again. Marsh walked over to him, towering over Cook, who was only 5'4'6.

Marsh, remember, was a successful linebacker for the gridiron teams. he's a very big guy. From Kowen once again, with Marsh towering over him, Cook steadily looked in the opposite direction of where the corpse lay. He's like, all right, I won't look over there because there's the corpse. I'll look over here. But he saw a blue tarp 30 feet away stretched over the ground in the woods. Marsh noticed that Cook had seen the tarp and volunteered the information

that they had septic tank problems and had been forced to dig it up. Cook knew Marsh's statement was a lie. He knew that a tarp sags when it covers a pit. I love those. He's a real pit expert. And this tarp was tight. He also knew that when you dig a hole for a septic tank, the dirt must go somewhere,

and there were no fresh dirt piles anywhere nearby. Nice try. Yeah. Marsh, that is your real name. But I'm a ditch expert. Cook thought the tarp was hiding something, but he had no desire to see what that something might be because he suspected it would only deepen his already growing nightmare.

But I really hope he called him out on it. I think you'd find that if that's over a ditch, then it'll sag in the middle. So I don't want to know what's in there, but don't lie to me. The fuck is a point of lying to me. Just ignore it. Don't say anything. God, Marsh.

You're a waste of my time. I want to fill this tank. I want to get out of here. With the delivery finished and trying desperately to hide his suspicions and fears, Cook disconnected the hose and dragged it back to the idling truck, all the while taking great care of not to look in the direction of the decomposing corpse. He's like, don't look at the cops, don't look at the cops, don't look at the cops.

It feels like any way he looks, he's going to say something fucked. Yeah. I think the best way to not seem like you're suspicious is to desperately try not to be, which is what is the strategy he's going for. Just play it really uncool. Really played a cool. Yeah. Play it.

Very anxious. Hello? Hello? Yeah, me again. No, yeah, we're still standing next to each other. Just checking in. I'm having a heart attack. Don't put me in the ditch.

And this whole time Marsh watched his every move, he said. So he was like, he felt the pressure. When you say somebody's watching your every move, in this sort of instance, all you're doing is filling up the tank and he's watching you do that. No what I mean? It's not following you around for a whole day. We had a conversation and he gave me eye contact nearly the whole time.

Watching every move. Watching every word I said. In some ways, Dave, I'm watching your every move right now. What? Look away, you purve. I don't stop moving in that way that looks a little suspicious, Dave, if you don't want us to be getting attention from it. What are you doing with that corpse, anyway?

Nothing. What's that hack saw on your hand, young man? Corp saw. I mean, I've said too much. I'm digging a ditch in the studio. Don't worry, we haven't noticed anything. Digging a ditch from the top story. Perfect.

Full pro plan. So he got out of there as quick as he could again. He drove away, his incomplete shock. Sheriff Wilson had clearly not dealt with the problem. Cook decided he needed to seek help elsewhere. So he reached out to the only person he could think of, his aunt, Fay Deal. Oh, my God. She sounds like she gets things done.

Faye deal gets results. Faye deal or no deal. That's her catchphrase after she solves another case. Ah, Faye deal and no dear. What do you mean, Aunty Faye? Who are you talking to? At the shop, like, bartering with everything. Small chips, all right, that'll be $3.50.

All right, Faye deal. Yeah, that's a Faye-no deal, I'm afraid. I've only got $3. So Faye deal was the information management assistant with the FBI's office in Rossville. He hoped she might have an idea of what he should do or who he could reach out to because he's not an FBI agent.

But she works with a lot of them. Yeah. So you thought, Fadeal might know. She's a masseuse for FBI agents. She'd know a thing or two. Could you whisper something into one of the agency as well? Just ask a question. During their soothing relaxation massage.

So he called her. And Fadeal took her nephew's report very seriously. And after a good long think, she decided that if nothing else, bodies out in the open are an environmental health concern. So she called the EPA's regional office in Atlanta. The EPA is another federal. agency responsible for the protection of human health and the environment.

Dead bodies are potential carriers of disease and must be disposed of properly so at the very least come under their jurisdiction. Oh yeah. So she just saw us a way in. A way in because it's like, no one else is taking this seriously. Well, the EPA. They're probably bored. Yeah, they've got a lot of less good.

This is probably sexy and exciting to them. The environment's going so well. They don't have a lot of work at the moment. There's a lot of redundancies because they're so good at their job. Yeah, the environment's actually the best that's ever been. and the future's looking real good. That's why, yeah, that's why we're putting still so much money into military and that sort of stuff because of all the war that's going on. But in terms of the environment, we haven't had to spend anything on it because it's just cruising.

It's just doing so well on the tone. Whatever the peacetime equivalent is for environment. Yeah. What is that equivalent again, Dave? Utopia. Yeah. We're in Utopia in times. We're in Utopia times.

Beautiful. God, we're so lucky. Are we lucky? Can't wait for my great, great. great, great, great, great, great, grandchildren to enjoy this utopia. Oh, my God. And they will. Everything will be over there.

It's great. It's fucked. Love a little more ocean. That's good. Yeah. Surf's up. I love the ocean. I love the sea.

Yeah, less water for everyone. Love it. More environment, if you think about it, in another way. Seas rising, that's just more environment for us to enjoy. More outdoors. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice.

There's certain nations. would disagree. Antarctica? Yeah. I think there's a few island nations probably. Huh. We're an island. Yeah.

Look, to be honest, everyone should disagree. Yeah. Some probably would disagree sooner than others. More urgency. Anyway, nice little riff there about the state of the environment to just sort of cleanse the palate a little bit to now let's get back into dead bodies out in the open. Faye deal spoke with EPA investigator Frank Garcia, but she didn't want to give him any names.

Her nephew's children went to school with the Marsh family's children, and Deal didn't want any backlash from the report. In order to protect her nephew's identity, she made the call anonymously and told Garcia that human remains had been found lying around at Tri-State. But again, Frank Garcia's such a rock-solid name. Yep. Big fan of Frank Garcia.

I just feel like this guy gets results, much like I thought Faye Deal did as well. Well, Frank's good, Garcia's good. Put him together, double good. Yeah, it doesn't always. work out that way. No, it doesn't. Exactly. In this case, they've very much cancelled each other out. Oh, no. He's Frank the dud, Garcia. She felt her call wasn't being taken seriously and was being treated as a joke. So she asked Garcia on the other end of the phone, what if I told you, I was

walking my dog and the dog found a human bone? What would you do? He said he would investigate. So Faye deal made another call. She hung up on him. She made another call to the Walker County Sheriff's department. She reported that her dog had been spotted with a human bone. So Sheriff Wilson, the man who refused to investigate before, was sent out to try state to look into it. So it turns out when you say, I saw a bunch of bones, he goes, whatever. But if you say, my dog had a bone, he runs to the car. Isn't that fun? A dog?

Oh, I can see a dog. Isn't that strange? But it sounds like Fadeal is getting it done. Yeah. Which sounds like I love how she's named and shamed Frank Garcia. Just a guy who's on the phone, possibly has nothing more to do with the story. But we all know that he fucked up. Yeah.

Garcia, he'll sleep at the wheel. I can't believe that. Sort of saying like there's, I know it's a crematorium, but there's decomposing bodies everywhere. And he's like, what,

a bodies at a crematorium? Okay. Next you're going to tell me there's ice cream in an ice crematorium. It's not wasting my time, lady. I got a crossword to finish. You saw dead bodies at a murderous house?

Where else would you see dead bodies? Yeah. Fucking hell. So Sheriff Wilson was saying, Now, when he got there, he spoke to Brent Marsh's parents as their son was out of town at the time. That's Ray Marsh. Ray Marsh, who's sick but still alive at this point. And Clara Marsh.

Clara Marsh. I hate it. Clara Marsh. Clarra Marsh. I love it. Clara Marsh. I love it. I want to know if these, the next generation's in on it, are they the ones that started whatever's happening?

Or are they just too sick and old to notice? How do you know who? No, there's fucking bodies everywhere. Well, when the sheriff told Brent Marsh's mother, Clara Marsh, about the report of a dog being seen with a human bone, Clara responded, that's impossible. Okay. How?

Based on what Clara Marsh? She's like, we burn the bodies. How would they ever be a bone? That's a lie. It's a prank call. Sheriff Wilson had a brief look around after he left the Marsh House, but he saw that the gate to the crematorium and its surrounding area was locked, and seeing nothing out of ordinary outside that area, he soon left.

God, he's a piece of shit. Again, the investigation was over before it had really begun. And so he called ahead to sort of warn her that he was coming to check as well. So she had a chance to lock up because everything was out in the open when the gas man came by. Yes, but it's because it's a 16-acre property. I think he's gone up to the house, which is presumably a bit further away. This all started because that guy, Cook didn't know his way to a front door that was clearly, like for the cop, he knew obviously where to go. But Cook's coming and they go.

I don't know. Where the hell would go? The driveway goes right up to this building. I'm going to go off on this dirt track to where all the bodies are. Well, he's trying to, he's going to the crematorium. He's not going to the house. Yeah, and he's trying to find it. And there's a bunch of buildings.

It's a sprawling property and there's just shit everywhere. I have no idea what's going on. Unless it's just that the guy's gone, I can't be bothered. I'm going to take the payment for burning the bodies. I'm just going to chuck him on the pile. And he's saving like a little bit of money or gas. But he's still filling the gas. Still filling the gas.

What's going on? And all the while, Cook, the delivery driver, had to continue to deliver gas to Tri-States. Why? Why? If they're not burning the bodies, what's happening? No, no, no, no. I'm not worried about how quickly they're using gas. I'm more like...

They've got a broken heater. They must have a broken heater. What fucking boss is making you keep going back to a place where every fucking time you just see a pile of dead rotting body? A job's a job. Exactly. You know who does that? Sir Humps a lot.

Bobby Brown. Whatever he's on. That's the worst. You're thinking of, you're thinking of Sir Mix a lot. Bobby Brown ain't nobody humping around. Which is apparently called humpin' around. And it was changed to hump and around to be radio friendly.

Initially it was effing around. Oh my God. Whoa. And I'm sorry for using such language on the pod. There's a lady present. Sorry about that, Dave. Bit of fun. Good fun.

That's actually not okay, Jess. What do you mean? I'm not sure, but I'm just trying to say the right thing as a feminist. And as the only feminist on this podcast, I think it's important to stand up. As a feminist, it's important to tell women off. Yes. Oh my God. Is this getting through or not?

No. It's like you've got rocks in your head, mate. No, I just have a tiny whittle bane. Yeah. So maybe you pop down and listen. Okay, great. So you're absolutely right to be like, why do you have to keep going back? But the boss keeps sending him back.

No. Say we were not servicing that fucking, we will not send you gas. Or just say, how about boss, how about you take this one? If it's so important, we get it done. Yeah, you do it. You do it. That's a good leader. Yeah.

I think that part of it is he's worried that Ray will know that he dobed. Yeah. Because it's this tiny community, all the kids go to school together, whatever. He doesn't only want to cause trouble, especially with the government. that he's like, I don't know what he's doing in these bodies. Yeah. I don't want to piss him off. I don't want to be one of those bodies.

So Cookie is playing it cool. He's still delivering. He was back on December 3rd, 2001, when he noticed something new and unusual. Not a dead body this time, but thick black smoke coming from the crematory. When he thought about it, this was the only time he'd ever seen the crematory in use.

He was like, huh, that's weird. Now, maybe that's what he's doing. He's just saving them all up for a year for efficiency. It's like a big... Doing a big burn. Bonfire. Once a year. Like people come in every day.

Here's Nana. Can you give us her in a box? Yeah, but you come back in 12 months. Yeah. That's a long time. Yeah, it's sort of backed up a bit. Do you want to burn off? But he just does it and then.

Or he could just have all the, so he just has boxes all the ashes up once a year and just gives, yeah, come back tomorrow and he gives something from the batch from the year before. How are they going to find out? Oh, Dave. Have I got it? Have I got it, Dave? Is he doing one big burn a year? And he's given last year's burn ashes to the people who come through.

He goes, come back on the 4th of July. Big bonfire, they'd be great. Dave, I've either guessed it or I have no idea what's going on or somewhere in between. Some fucked up stuff is happening here. I've got to tell you that. Oh, God. Two weeks later, Cook had to make another delivery. And every time he came back, he was more and more paranoid.

He usually made his delivery's first thing in the morning to get the weird place out of the way. But on the 18th of December, Brent Marsh called the company and specifically asked, what time Cook was going to make his delivery. Oh, no, I don't like that. He was worried that Marshall worked out. He was the one who'd reported him, had the sheriff come around, and he's like, why does he want to know what time I'm going to be there? Is he going to, is he waiting for me?

Is he going to hurt me? But it's very possibly because he was heading out and he just needs to know so he could work his day around. But it sounds super sinister. He's like, oh my God, why does he want to know what I'm doing? And he's also said, meet me at midnight after the crow quarks three times. What's the crow quarks sound like? Oh, have I heard that three times at midnight. I'd be shitting my dad.

Well, I'd be going, all right. Must be time to load up the tanker. I'd be shitting my dats. I'd be packing my dachs. Oh, I hate this. And by that, Dave, I mean, I'm loving it. You're doing a fantastic job. But this is creepy as hell.

I'm on the edge of my seat. It's creepy as all hell. When I was reading the story, I was like, oh, my dear God. I'm giving myself a little hug. Oh, you are! You're doing a bit of self-career. He's in the year 2000. 2001.

Oh, maybe. I know what's happened. The millennial bug has stuffed up the crematorium's computer system. The fire. And all the bodies are backing up. And he doesn't know what to do. He's trying to hack the mainframe. He had to drop out of college.

He had to drop out of college. He's like, yeah, what do I do? But he's trying to play it cool because he doesn't want to embarrass himself that he's running the family business into the ground. Yeah. I was the only one of the world, a bug affected. It's embarrassing. It is embarrassing. It's hard to tell people. Yeah. It's trying to burn bodies like it's 9-0-1, but it's not. So he's worried that Marsh is going to be there waiting for him. He's freaking out.

The delivery ended up going off without a hitch, but Cook had had enough. He called his aunt Faye Deal and begged her to help him again. But she was running out of ideas. She tried at the EPA. She tried the sheriff. Both of them had basically said, whatever, it's a joke. A couple of months went by and on Valentine's Day 2002, Deal was working at the FBI office when a special agent from the EPA's Criminal Investigation Division came in. It was a man named Robin Hedden. Robin Hedden. Robin Hedden.

Robin Hedden. I don't know if I, I don't know if that's the right name. If you're so named Hedden, don't call your kid, Robin. Robin Hedden. Robbie Hedden, that works. Robbie Hedden. Rob Hedden. Rob Hedden.

That's good. Robin Hedden. Robbie heading sounds like someone wrapping up the night. All right. Robbie heading. Catch you around. You'll want a bong? What was her name again?

Yarnaco. Yarnaco. Yarnaco? Oh gosh. Is that going to play to... Yol want a bong. Do you think that's going to play to Americans? Because they...

Yana, like, you want to. Wana. Do you want a... It's... Yeah. Because sometimes they're like, I don't understand what you're saying. Well, they don't understand Craig and Craig, so... Have you seen that recently?

They can't... They sound like... The same words for them, Craig and Craig. We have had people contact us since we had the Craig. Craig controversy saying that when we say Craig followed by Craig, Craig, Craig, they can't hear the difference, which is so funny to us. But I think it's like how we can't hear us saying, no. When we say no, they hear no. There's an R in there.

That's so funny. That's true. It's beautiful. Language is beautiful. I love it. I love culture. Okay. Well, no Craig's, no Craig's here. Robin Hedden. Robynne. Robby Hedden. Robynne. Craig Hedden? Oh my God, that's a sick man.

Craig Hedden. Craig Hedden. All right, Craig. Have a good night. Hey, right. Craig Barry Hedden. Okay, Craig Bheaden. All right, Robin Hedden. And even though they had no existing relationship, Faye Deal identified him as a man that could help her actually do something. He seemed like a go-getter to her. She got his phone number from a colleague and rang him.

He didn't answer, but she bl- And it's over. And that was that. She tried. The story ends here. She left the message. He didn't respond. So what else could she do?

Another agent, she's throwing under the bus in the interview. He seemed like a real dick. So I ended up driving over. There were bodies everywhere. I'm arrested of the end. I'm safe. No deal. She rang Robin Heddon.

He didn't answer, but she blurted out a long and anonymous message on his answering machine, describing everything that her nephew Cook had seen. She just went for it, just said everything. When Hedden got the message, unlike everyone before him, he took the report seriously. Ah, finally. So the next morning, Robin Hedden and his EPA colleague, Larry Anderson, Heiden out to Atlanta, or out of Atlanta, and drove the 85 miles to Noble. One more time from Cohn.

They didn't tell anyone there was. coming and unlike criminal investigations with other agencies, they didn't need a search warrant to find out what they wanted to know. So they can just turn up and start having a look around. And it was Robin Heddon and Larry Anderson that made the truly horrifying discovery. We're back at the start. When investigators peeled back the doors of a maroon colored garage near the front of the Marsh property, they weren't prepared for what they found inside. There were bodies everywhere, all over the place. According to the Times Free Press, they were stacked in vaults, tossed in buildings, thrown in holes, and cast out into the woods.

Some were still inside their coffins. Some had been lying out in the open for nearly five years. What? Some looked as if they'd been dragged along and then just left where they lay, like their clothes were just bunched up, like they'd been dragged on the ground and then just ditched. A dilapidated hearse held the badly decomposed body of a man inside a casket. So, hearse still had a casket in it, still had a body in it. Yeah. They have not done many of the steps that they should have done.

If the casket's still in the hearse. What the fuck? They haven't even taken their house of back. They left the hearse there until it got dilapidated. This is wild. The bodies were found in every stage of decomposition. It was a true horror show. Look, I'm going to say it.

I don't think their hearts are in the business. No. Absolutely not. Walker County Sheriff Detective Walter Hensley described it as it was like something out of a Stephen King novel. Every building you opened had more bodies. Within five days, Dr. Chris Sperry, George's chief medical examiner, told the media that 149 bodies had been discovered.

They had discovered vaults of bodies. A large one was packed with about 40 and five smaller ones each had 20 corpses in them. A portable morgue was set up to go through and catalogue. the horror, and according to Grunge, which has a great article on this, a team of nearly two dozen experts consisting of trained pathologists, doctors, nurses and other professionals was dispatched with the mobile morgue unit. They were the same team that had been on site to help identify victims at the World Trade Center in 2001.

Shit. Yeah. And apparently, contrary to what you might have expected, or what I definitely expected, there was no real odour on the property until they opened the vaults, despite some bodies just literally lying out in the open. It didn't smell bad, except for the ones that were inside these vaults and they opened it up. It reaped.

Because they were having compression sessions, whereas the other ones are out in the open. The scent just flutters off in the atmosphere. Let it go. Let it go. So what the heck was going on? Marsh hadn't killed these people.

These were the bodies that he had been entrusted with to cremate and return to families. Except he had not done that. He'd just dumped the bodies and left them to rot. Either in the vaults or just out in the open. Why?

It's so strange. It's like, it just got away from him. He's like, oh, well, I didn't do the first you. My kind of theory was he's taken over the family business, but he doesn't really know how to use the... Too embarrassed to ask. Yeah, exactly. And then it just got away from him and he's like,

oh, it's gone too far now, I can't ask. I thought I'd work it out eventually. He can't turn on the fire. Because it makes no sense if they're just the bodies he was meant to... Yes. And what, if the families are meant to be getting the ashes. Yeah. What are they getting? Yeah. So family started to hear the reports and they were shocked, of course, but they were also confused.

Many claimed they'd used tri-state services and that they'd been given the ashes of their loved ones. So what could this be? After many people handed in their relatives ashes for testing, it turned out they'd been handed earns full of cement dust, dirt and other substances, but not the remains of their relatives. They'd simply never been cremated. So bizarre. What if you, you know how you can like turn relatives ashes into like jewelry, like a gemstone or something? What if you'd done that and it's just cement dust?

Or what if you'd gotten the, sometimes people use the ashes and get a tattoo with those ashes? Sometimes they mix up with coke and snort it. Yeah, what if you'd done any of those things? I've been snorting cement dust? This is embarrassing. Isn't that what like maybe Keefe from the stones did or something? It does feel very rock and roll. It feels pretty rock and roll, eh?

Have a bit of this concrete powder, snort it, and harden the fuck up. Yeah. Oh my God, this is wild. It is so wild. In fact, neighbours of Tri-State told authorities they hadn't seen smoke come from the crematorium in years. So in the time that the sun has taken over? Yeah. How long has he been had the biz now?

I think he took over in about 96. Yeah, right. So this is, yeah, a wilder. while. Yeah, Keith Richard snorted his dad with Coke. Nice. Actually pretty sick. A beautiful tribute.

His dad loved to snort Coke. And he drank his mum with Coke too. Her favorite drink. No sugar. Sorry, he drank Coke with his mum. They just shared a glass of Coke one time. It was very nice. So, yeah, there was one time the black smoke was billowing out.

What was happening then? And what is all this propane being used for? Great question. I don't know what's, I don't know what's happened with the gas. Oh, that's unknown. Not sure about the gas. That is so strange, because they're obviously going through a bit of it. He's having to come out.

Or he's just keeping up appearances and just opening the gas cabin out there. Yeah, letting it off every couple of weeks. What the fuck? Why not just spark up the oven or whatever it's called, the crematery? That's probably not it. And just let the smoke, like, or why not just do your job? Yes. Yeah, good question.

He goes through the whole thing of, like, burning, he starts burning logs and stuff, just to make it look like it's smoking. Just burn a body. Just burn the body. Just do your job. I don't get it. Just loading in blow up dolls. Hey, come on.

This is a lot of easy if you could do the job. I haven't seen smoke from the crematorium, but I have had a lot of popping. Just the blow up dolls are bursting. What if it turns out like he's got no problem with dead bodies, but he's scared of ash. Oh. Wrong biz.

I don't like touching the ash. Oh my God. It's easier if I just use cement dust. That's fine. That's fine. I'm okay with that. The forklift thing is that because he was, They did fall behind on there.

That was his dad. That was the dad like when they were kids. So that was that. That was the legit. Didn't necessarily have anything to do with it. Yeah, no. It was just a big body. Yeah, that made Cook like sort of freak out.

Right. And he was, oh, I've got to go to that place. And then he was the one that discovered it all. And because of the small community of this area, the man in charge Brent Marsh knew a lot of his clients in their families. One such man was Tim Mason, whose father Luther had died in 2001. Mason was a friend of Marsh. And Marsh had assured him.

and his wife neither that he would take good care of his father and return his remains. This was not true for Tim or hundreds of other relatives in the area. What the fuck? Families from across Alabama, southern Georgia and across Tennessee came forward to demand answers. It became a media storm across the state, then the United States, as reporters descended on the small town reporting on the outrageous and gruesome story. John Bankhead with the Georgia Bureau of Investigation said it was probably one of the biggest news stories in the history of Georgia. To this day, if you Google Noble, this is the number one story that comes up, which I'm sure the Noble Tourism Board isn't wrapped with.

Yeah, you love that. It's good to be on the map for a reason. You meet new people and you're like, oh, I'm from Noble. And I'm like, Noble, what's that wrong about? You'd have to be like, cramatory. Noble prizes? No, no, no, no, no, something else. Trent Noble, the old St. Kilda Ruckman, no, no, no, no.

No, that's not it. I don't know what a Ruckman is. Over the days and weeks, eventually at least 334, bodies were discovered. Whoa, they kept finding because initially they had 149. Yeah, that was in the first five days and they just kept farting more and more and more. Yeah, because remember some of them were like out sort of in the woods. What's he doing?

Just throwing them out. Like, there's no system at all. He's just kind of line there. There's no cataloging. This is a nightmare. Whatever you want to find one of them again. Why is he dragging some of them out there? There's so much space that you'll even some just wherever they lie.

So everything. You've left one in its coffin in the purse. I'm starting to think this guy's not quite right. Or at least he's not well-trained. Yeah, his dad will be very disappointed, I think. Authorities had to admit that no one knows the total body count because so many were never accounted for and were so badly decomposed that couldn't be identified.

So it's possibly more. Only about two-thirds of the 334 could be positively identified, adding to the heartbreak of locals whose loved ones had been supposedly cremated. You make your peace. You've said goodbye. you've got this special spot on the mantel piece. Or maybe you've had like a spreading ceremony. Yeah.

Going out to the beach or something. Totally. And then now you've got just putting that in your mind. Yeah. And some of them. Nana has been. You know, it's five years later. You've said goodbye five years ago.

And then they're like, oh no, that wasn't. Open up that wound again. What a, yeah. It's like it's almost like a victimist crime because they're all dead, but it isn't at all. Yeah. No, yeah. It's like hundreds of people are affected. Authorities move to arrest.

Brent Marsh, but one big problem the law enforcement had was trying to work out what crime had been committed. It was obviously an outrageous discovery, but when they went to arrest, Brent Marsh, they found themselves asking, what's the charge, eating a meal? It's got to be some version of fraud, right? Yeah. Well, they were less scratching their heads because there had been, there'd been no murders. The people were already dead, like he said, and they were given his care, and desecration of a corpse wasn't a felony in Georgia at the time. they were like, this is fucked, but what do we do? And they decided to go for him Al Capone style,

you know how he was technically taken down for tax evasion. Well, prosecutors decided Brent could be held financially responsible for taking money and not fulfilling the contract and not returning the bodies. So first, he was charged with five counts of theft by deception. But according to the Times Free Press, as the bodies piled up and prosecutors researched the laws, the count grew to 787 felony charges, 170 counts of abuse of a corpse, 439 counts of theft, 122 counts of burial, service fraud, and 47 counts of making false statements.

Now, this is a side note. A couple of weeks back, we weren't sure what a felony is. Well, felony meaning a crime regarded in the US and many other judicial systems as more serious than a misdemeanor. But Australia is a common law country. In Australia, the distinction between felony and misdemeanor has been abolished back in 1900. the original distinction has been replaced with a serious or minor indartable offense. Right, okay. So it's just a serious offense and he's got 787 charges. It's interesting there's no middle ground there, serious or minor. Yeah.

What about a mid-range one? Like what? The law is an ass. It's black and white. Huh, good point. The law is an ass. Yeah, put that on a teacher. And the ass is a law.

The ass is law, maybe. Hmm Something to ponder People were understandably furious Walker County Chief Deputy Mike Freeman said that the outrage seemed worse than if Brent Marsh had actually killed their family members That's the outrage was

Just the complete disrespect I would disagree with that But I feel like it would be worse that he could But it is yeah I just don't under There's something has to have been going on there You know like You know people who

It's the equivalent of a paper boy throwing the newspapers into the skip. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's just like, it seems like that's the mentality. Yeah. Like he's just going, I'm getting paid and I can just fake it.

Not, but you're not thinking about like how his responsibility is bigger than getting the local newspaper out. Yeah. Which is a big responsibility in itself. Of course. I used to do it. Maraband standard. How sweet? I did two different routes on the same day.

Got paid about $12 a week. Whoa. For two roots. It was incredible that they're allowed to do that. By today's money, that's about $14,000. Yeah, yes. You were loaded. It was a lucrative business.

Did you have to fold them yourself? Yeah. It was, honestly, it worked out to be like $1.50 an hour. It was not good. Unbelievable that it was allowed. Take advantage of the kids who were, I was 12 or whatever. Here, I was thinking the printing press wasn't invented when you were 12, but there you go. Yeah.

Oh, no, they were all individually written pamphlets. Typed them up. Screaming in crowds, line at the streets and at court hearings, Brent Marsh had to wear bulletproof armour as was the perceived risk of assassination. Wow. That's how hated he was. People were so angry. They were fuming.

It is a despicable thing to do. It's awful. It's awful. But yeah, we're missing some information here. I want to know his reasoning. And if the parents knew. And if they didn't, how did they not know? Well, yeah, such a big property.

And if they're poorly, they're not getting around. And he's like, everything's fine, guys. Yeah. Business is good. We haven't seen any smoke coming out. Oh, yeah. I've found a new way to do it. Yeah.

Yeah, I dump him in the woods. I mean, oh dear. Smoke free. In the end, Brent was offered a deal and took it, and he was sentenced to 12 years jail and 75 years on probation. Sorry, was he offered a Fay deal? Yeah. No, pay deal.

12 years in prison and then the rest of his life on probation. Yeah, basically. They made sure that his whole life he'd be on probation. Apparently, his case had so many charges. they were concerned if it fully went to trial, it could take years and cost millions of dollars. So they were pretty keen to make a deal. And so was he because he didn't want to go to jail forever, which he easily could have with 700 charges. When the sentence was handed down, Marsh said, I will not cry when I go into my jail cell.

I will not whimper. I will accept my punishment. I will do my time. Okay. Did he explain? We'll get to that. Oh, thank God. Because this is feeling very, you know, like a scratch you can't inch.

It's like, this makes no sense. Yeah, why would someone do this? That's just the sexual tension in this room. Yeah. That's what you're describing there. And I'd prefer you don't bring it up on the podcast. Okay, sorry. That's an unspoken tension.

I'd prefer if you don't refer to me as a scratch you can in. Let me itchew! If you know what I mean. All in all, it did cost a pretty penny. State and local government spent nearly $10 million on cleanup and recovery. Because, you know, there were bodies. fucking everywhere. Over 300 bodies.

And even more was paid out in restitution to the loved ones whose bodies had been ill-treated. Again, from the Times Free Press, more than $100 million was paid out in federal class action lawsuits against Marsh and the funeral homes that had sent bodies to the crematory. Oh, so the funeral homes are having to cop it as well, but it's not their fault at all. And there's like no other fucking crematory they can send it to. And they're like, I imagine they're like, well, if I'd known, why would we keep seeing? anybody's We didn't know. That sucks.

And no one knows the exact number of families affected, but attorneys in lawsuits estimated the count at nearly 2,000 people were directly affected. Yeah. I assume they think that there was part of their responsibility to know that it was the job was being done properly, but it feels like the kind of thing you wouldn't be, you might go out there maybe.

Would you? I don't know, yeah. And the whole point of his dad starting this business was a gap in the market. there wasn't, there was nobody else around. And so why would a funeral home travel interstate just to check up on a crematorium? Hey, just checking you burnt that body. And then he hands you the urn and you go, okay, I guess how else the moment to know? It's just the, it's the strangest thing because the way he could have got away with it would

have been by burning the evidence, which would have also been him doing his job. Yeah. It just makes no sense. It makes no sense. I don't get it. He has, he has what every criminal dreams are. Oh my God, a burning machine. It burns a body.

Yeah, if you want to do some weird shit, you could do whatever you like, just fucking burn it. It's so strict. So weird. Me too. Oh, it's so spooky. It is spooky. Part of Marsh's sentence was writing letters to the families of all who were not laid to rest. You wrote to the families, I am so sorry for your loss.

I pray that you will one day be able to forgive me for my failure to properly perform my duties. Again, according to Local 3 News, Marsh bedded himself in prison by earning multiple degrees. Because this guy's, he was like the straight-A student. He's a hustler. He's the Penthouse magazine. Rambler. He's the Penn House magazine Athlete of the Year. They said it was a weird thing to do, but they named him.

The scandal. I don't want that a letter from him if I'm one of the families. Especially if it seems like it's pretty hollow. It's also written in blood. Yeah. Oh, come on. This is weird. Yeah, I don't want, I don't want this from you.

I'm not feeling sorry for you. No, fuck you. That's what I'd be saying. Yeah, if anything, they should be allowed five minutes with him so they can say fuck you over and over. Maybe give him a little uppercut. Maybe burn him. Hey?

Hey, how about that? Sorry, no, that'd be taking it too far. That's too far, but the uppercut is fine. Well, yeah, little one. Little one. Because, you know, if he gets to 350. That's a lot for anybody. So I reckon, you know, maybe all 3.50 are in the room.

Every family gets to pick one, representative, and they all get to stab him. No, that's too far. That's too far. That's too far. That's too far. Hey, no wrong answers in a brainstorm. Just trying to figure out. You know, trying to find closure for the family.

The scandal, as it's come to be known, also had a great effect on the game. governance and regulation of crematories and even local laws. States pass stricter laws giving public officials greater access to the books of cremators to make sure they're doing what they say they're doing. Any crematory in Georgia now must have a license that is renewed every two years and the facility must be inspected at least once a year and a licensed director must also work on site. Apparently it also really rocked the public's confidence in crematories too and afterwards people really started paying much more attention to the process. Fearful, it could happen again.

They'd be like, just checking, is that still? And that's definitely my dad? Yeah. I imagine just full burials probably got more popular for it. Apparently, so in this part of the world, in the south, the cremation rate was pretty low. It was only about 10% or something. Then it got up to 15%.

But things like this, I reckon, have really brought a problem back to me. People go, I don't trust it. Grave diggers were suddenly in demand. Is this? Is this a conspiracy? No. Well, that's one other thing about the marsh business. You didn't need to dig a grave.

You just had to walk in the woods a bit. Yeah. And maybe not even. Just shove a body down. Yeah. Put him in a vault. Slam it all around. Sh shove a body down.

It's a little around. Shab my body down and a zigzagger. This has been a weird episode. It's a funny feeling in the room. Yeah. It's the sexual chemistry. Stop bringing up. The state also passed a little.

law to make it a crime to throw out a corpse, punishable by up to three years prison. Oh, three years prison. Which if that had happened to him, he would have been on the hook for over a thousand years prison. Right. So he was lucky he got in just in time. He got in before the laws. Thank goodness.

The laws that were brought in because of him and the fuck thing he did. Jeez, that was a lucky coincidence. Skin of my teeth, I'll tell you what. A big question, we're all wondering is, why did Brent do it? Yes. Please, some sort of resolution. Marsh himself, said in court to family. who gave testimony against him as well.

Apparently, even though he'd said, I'll take a deal, part of it was you have to hear from the families and for about eight hours people got up there one after another. And they were all out and one knife. One knife and two fuck yous. Two fuck use per family. I think that's very recent.

Yeah. All right. So the family has to have a meeting. Who wants the fuck you's? Who wants the knife? They're all fighting over the knife. Yeah. I want the knife.

I'll take a fuck you. Right. Okay, if I give you the knife, my whole family will give you five fuck yous. I was an only child. I get two fuck you use on a knife. Fuck you, knife. Fuck you. That felt good.

That's closure. Well, so they had these victim impact statements that they read out. A lot of them are asking, why the fuck did you do that? And he said, I can't give you the answers that you want, but I can apologize. Very quickly, finances were ruled out as being the issue. Has it only cost about $25 to run an incinerator in a crematory. for two and a half to three hours. And he was getting paid a lot more than that.

So they're like, it's not like you couldn't afford to do it. Yeah. So a few theories have been put forward over the years. Walker Sheriff Steve Wilson suggested that Marsh got behind on his work and then it possibly spiraled out of control. It seems like he's just not burning anything. Yeah. You know, like, you can understand getting a bit behind?

And then he's like, well, if I'm a bit behind, I may as well be forever behind. Yeah. Is that what he's, like, is that the logic? Yeah. How does it spiral out that much? 300. Get someone else on board to help you. Before, you know, surely, as you're walking through a field of rotting corpses,

you might be like, ha, this isn't. This isn't good. This isn't for me. And how long does it take to burn a body, you know? Sure, you can get a few done in a day. Yeah, that's right. How do you get that far behind? Oh.

Detective Michelle Brown speculated that perhaps he just didn't want to be involved with the family's business anymore. He'd been plucked out of college. He had that big future ahead of him. and then he was dragged back to the family business that maybe didn't want to be a part of. Stop taking people's business then. Imagine choosing to live amongst corpses

rather than working in the family business. That'll show him. Or saying, hey, Dad, I think I'd like to sell the business. Yeah. Or I'm going to shut the business down. I'll just let some corpses rot in our yard. This is a high-achieving guy. Everything is done before he's done to the highest level.

And all of a sudden, Oh. He really dropped the ball here. He did. He put it into... Sport terms. That he can understand. He goes on.

Oh, my God, no. I didn't think of that. No one's put it in football terms before. Ken Poston, who was March's defense attorney, put forward his explanation for his client's bizarre behavior. He said it was mercury poisoning. Oh, my fucking God. This is the quote. Mercury is a naturally occurring element, but it is well established to be present in high concentrations

in the cremation process due to the decades-old practice of mercury dental amalgam being used in patients who pass away and their bodies are subject to cremation. Basically, he's saying that the bodies had mercury in their teeth and fillings and standing next to the incinerator all day in breathing in toxic fumes that affected Brent's brain. His attorney, Poston, said, I believe that Ray Brent Marsh, while living and working at the crematory, became a modern-day Mad Hatter. That's what he said Was the mad hatter? He had mercury poisoning That's why he like had those tea parties all day Well I think that used to be a phrase

Mad as a hatter I think people who would make those hats Were exposed to Mercury And then over time They were there was a connection So it's not the Alice and Wonderland character Was named after a real thing Yes but they are also quite loopy in the story

Yeah they had tea parties In that podcast shit town S town Thank you Jess please Language Something about Mercury poisoning and Mad Hatter. Yeah, interesting.

The Mad Hatter on Gotham is so annoying. He's an Aussie actor. I mean, the actor's great and everything, but the dialogue written for him, everything is rhyming. It's the word. Right. Oh, that's annoying.

It's so lame. And it's all like this basic childish sort of rhymes. And it's like, come on. This character's been on for three seasons. I can't take it anymore. I can't do it. Well, yeah, okay, Mad Hatter disease is a form of chronic mercury. poisoning.

Right, and it says here, it dates from the early 1800s alludes to the exposure to the chemicals formerly used in making felt hats, which caused tremors and other nervous symptoms. Right. And they didn't realize mercury was bad news early on. So he's his attorney saying that's what's possibly caused it, but this explanation, I must say, has been widely disputed. Yeah, because that would, you think it would be more common? Yeah, exactly.

In this business, why aren't other people doing strange things like this? Yeah, and how much mercury teeth were they're still in the early 2000s? Yeah. I mean, I have no idea. I guess maybe in the older people? I don't know. I thought all their teeth were wooden. The really old people.

I'm thinking of trees. Trees teeth are wooden. You're always thinking of trees. I'm always thinking of the trees. That should be your first point of call before you open your mouth. Am I thinking of a tree? If the EPO are listening, the EPA, I'm always singing to the trees, okay? I'm like you.

So don't look around my property. I'm like, right? There's nothing to see here, right? In Noble, the crematory is now gone, but Marsh's mother continued to live on the big property. No word if she's still around, I'm not sure, but a few years ago she absolutely was. Brent Marsh served his full 12-year sentence

and was released in June 2016. He walked out with his attorney, Poston, the Madder's a Hadder guy, who told the media that his client was going home to Walker County in Georgia. Since then, Marsh has laid low and not given any further explanation for his bizarre behaviour. Because he was placed under 75 years of probation, he's probably under some sort of court supervision for the rest of his life.

Right. I think that's probably for the best, maybe. And is he allowed to leave Georgia? Because I would if I could, if I was him. Yeah. Yes, he absolutely could have, because this is, and I imagine his community would be pretty happy for him to, but the probation doesn't mean he has to stay in the state.

Not that I know of. I'm not sure. Because it was a federal, was it a federal? Were they federal crime? I don't know. Anyway. I think there was, no, I was a mixture of state crimes. Because, yeah, potentially under the probation, he needs to stay.

Which would be bad if he's like, this community hates me. I don't want to be here. Yeah. So why would, unless, yeah, it's just, uh. Whoa. Oh, it's so, oh, it's so unsatisfying. Yeah. Sorry, there's no explanation.

Well, I feel like that's, he's like, I can't offer an explanation. But give us whatever the explanation is. Just give it, the families must be like going, Tell us. Is it because you just were slack and you... Yeah. Because you just not be fucked or like... Is this fun for you?

What's the deal? Yeah, exactly. If it was just like the incinerator was playing up for a couple of months and then I got too behind and it overwhelmed me. And I know this isn't a real excuse, but that's the truth of what I... Yeah, totally. I think that would be more satisfying than just like, I can't tell you. Then I'm assuming the absolute worst.

Then I'm assuming something really sinister and creepy. Whereas if it's just like it got away from me and I was... stuck in this spiral. I'm still really mad at you, but like... But there's at least some closure. Totally. A memorial for the unidentified remains, because remember one-third weren't positively identified, was unveiled in the Tennessee-Georgia Memorial Park, marking the place where 133 bodies that couldn't be identified are at rest. It reads, May they and their families have everlasting peace and consolation.

The crematory building and all other structures associated were torn down by 2005. Also, Brent's mother, Clara, signed part of the property where the crematory was to become a trust, making sure what became the resting place of bodies for many years will never be developed. Oh, wow. So they have to keep that as open area. And if this sounds familiar to you, and you didn't hear the news story at the time, the tri-state crematory scandal was used as the basis for a law and order criminal intent episode called Dead from season two. And also, the CSI Miami episode forced entry from season one. Oh, season one. Wow.

Yeah, early days. Interesting. Which wouldn't have been that long after this, only a few years. I thought you were going to say X-Files. Certainly not. Not yet. There's got to be an explanation for this, Mulder. Yeah.

No, he won't tell us what the explanation is. Finally, to finish, S.G. Pennington, who suggested this topic. Remember, they wrote a little thing. Yes, yeah, yeah. And basically anyone can suggest a topic at any time at do-go-onpod.com. And you get to write why we should do the topic, and these little extra bits often jump out to us and make us sort of take note of it. And also like key words that I'll sometimes search.

Quirky. Yep. Weird. Hilarious. Baffling. Amazing. Inept. Yep.

Adventure. Bungled. Yeah. Definitely not boring. I search boring just to exclude them. So SG Penantin wrote, this happened in the very small town where I grew up and is of course a local legend. Ironically, this happened across the street from the cemetery.

My aunt owns, in brackets, she's an odd lady. So apparently I was frolicing around dead bodies for part of my childhood. Oh, whoa. Thank you, S.G. Pennington. And that was at a funeral, at a cemetery, and he had no idea. There are dead bodies in the area? So that's the end of the report on the tri-state crematory scandal, which before last week I'd never heard of.

But when I started looking into it, I couldn't stop reading. Yeah. That is fascinating. It's fascinating. It's disturbing. It's kind of unsatisfying at the end, like you say, but I'm glad the Patreon voted for it. I think that makes it a mystery topic. I think it is.

What? Why? Why did this extremely bizarre thing happen? I guess there's some resolution in that, like, he was investigated and he was sent to prison and stuff. That's somewhat satisfying at least. But, yeah, I want to know why. I just don't know why. He did it.

It doesn't seem like it was anything sinister. No, it just doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it doesn't. So strange. Amazing report, Dave. Well done. Thanks, everyone. And hopefully I didn't freak or creep anyone out too much at home. I feel like... I imagine that based on the topic's title, some people will probably skip it if they're not into such things. I reckon you go into it with your eyes open.

A crematory... I don't know how to say that word. Crematory, you're saying. And is that the same as a crematorium? Yeah, they're interchangeable. Yeah, crematorium or crematorial. I feel like maybe here we say crematorium. Yeah, I'm thinking it seems like an American phrase, crematory. Because it feels not quite right. Yeah.

Crematory. Crematorium. Crematorium. Well, that brings us to everyone's favorite section of the show, where we thank some of our fantastic Patreon supporters, the same people who voted for this week's topic in a landslide. Yeah, sometimes it's close, but this time people, I think the pitch was a tri-state crematory scandal.

What happens when the guy who, who owns a crematorium, stops burning the bodies and just decides to keep them all. And then everyone was like, I've got to find out more. And look, fair enough. And they'll be like, oh, the answer is, I don't know. Yeah, so satisfying. Oh, what happens? Yeah, we find out what happens to the bodies. Yeah, that's true.

It's just awful. And, yeah, in this section of the show, we thank a bunch of these fantastic supporters. There's a few different levels you can get involved in, and they all have varying sort of rewards or whatever you call them. Gifts. Oh, yes, our gift to you. You pay for your own gifts, but still, you know, you can get three bonus episodes a month on a certain level or above.

You get to vote for topics, get to be in the nicest corner of the internet on our Facebook group, where it's like it gets lovelier by the week in there, very supportive and lovely spot. But the first thing we like to do is the fact quote or question section, which has a little jingle, I think, goes somewhere like this. Fact quote or question. Hmm, you always remembers the ding. Hmm, she always remembers the sing.

And the way this bit works is people who've signed up on the Sydney-Shaunberg level or above get to give us a fact quote or a question. They also get to give themselves a title. And I don't read them out until I read them out. And that's just me giving myself an excuse for when I butcher some pronunciations or whatnot. Firstly, this week, the first time we're in the fact quote or question section, Daisy Mowles. Ooh, pronunciation guide.

I've heard enough names butchered on here. Sorry, Matt. Mo is in mowing, oh, I butchered it. Mo is in mowing the lawn and L's as in Ernie L's. Oh, the big easy. Okay, so Moels. Daisy Mowles, not Mowls, Mowals.

Daisy Mowals. Mowals. And then Daisy says, Can you tell I've had my name pronounced wrong all my life? Yes. And I've had to correct people too many times. Yes. Yes.

Thank you very much, Daisy. Daisy's title is CEO of finding out what happened to the Pugaw-on commenter on the YouTube channel. Oh, where are you Pug-Go-on, man? Someone used to do it on every episode, but yeah, they've stopped. But the same little, I recognise the little avatar that they have as their image as well, like a little face there. Where have you gone?

Pug-go-on. Every single YouTube video that we uploaded, they wrote Poo-Go-on. I reckon on like a few hundred. Yeah, it's a lot. But they've moved on. They've poohed on. They've pooved on. Oh, no.

But Daisy suggests, and why is it definitely Gary Jay from the UK? Yeah. Funny that as soon as there's an episode on The Don, he mysteriously stops commenting. Coincidence? I think not. Okay, we're throwing around some accusations. It's now fact, quote or question, recipe or accusation. Oh, wow.

I don't mind that. And Daisy's asking a question writing, geez, Daisy snuck in a bit of extra into the title there. Day's question is, hi guys, please help settle a family argument. Family. Family, la familia. My brother recently went to Dublin and showed us a picture of him and his mates in which they were all drinking a Guinness with dinner. The family was aghast. Guinness with dinner?

That's like two meals. So the question is, what is your opinion on Guinness with dinner? Completely normal if you're in Dublin or completely psychotic, Dublin or not? I'd say completely normal. Yeah, normal. I think that's fine. That's fine. Would I personally choose to do it?

Probably not. But I don't see why you can't have a Guinness with dinner? Yeah, and I think that if you're a fan of Guinness, why not have it then? I personally don't really like Guinness, so I wouldn't have it with dinner. But if you like it, why not have it with dinner? Yeah, because I guess they say it's like a meal, but I mean, it's not. It's still a drink. Yeah.

So you can have that with a meal. You could also have a light meal if you're worried about it. feeling a bit too heavy in the tum, just get a small or a lighter meal. This is a rare moment, Daisy, where you've brought the three of us together here. Yeah. Against your family, the moles.

Sorry to go. Dead with the fortress of the moles. Yeah, with the fortress. I don't know if we can survive, but... Should one of us just change their mind just for the sake of... Survival. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah.

Okay. Oh, that's fucked. You monsters, an entire nation. and I love very much, you fools doing someone so disgusting. I feel sick. Yeah, no, Dave, you can stay. Me too. No.

Moll for one and one for mole. Mowel. I mean, come on. Thank you very much, Daisy Moles. And next up. It's like Craig and Craig for me. I'm sure they're different. The next one comes from Colin Roy.

Hi, okay, prodigal son of fact quote or question finally returning. It has been about 50 episodes since Colin was... Welcome back, Cole. Last in. And Colin is offering a suggestion writing. You guys talked about the song a thousand times by Big Blood, which I really enjoyed. That was Jess's hot tip.

Oh, yeah, that's right. A month or so ago. Let's check the streams. It didn't have that many before, but has it gone on? While you're checking that, I'll continue on. It made me think I should recommend you guys one of my favorite bands of all time, which is a US-based husband-wife duo called Vocal Few. Their first EP is called She'll Be Right.

It was named this because Matt, the husband songwriter, had been touring Australia with his incredible punk alt band, the classic crime. Familiar with them, Dave? No, we like the name. He heard the phrase, She'll Be Right a million times whenever there was a hiccup in soundcheck or anything with venues, and it really resonated with him because he wasn't sure about the future of his band and was about to have his first kid with his wife Christy. They have a bunch of great albums and songs now, but some of my favorite songs are Mexico,

The Road and Simple and Free. They also have a delightful Christmas album. Cheers. That's great. I love it. 36,000 monthly listeners from vocal few. That's great. That's a solid listenership.

One of their top-rated songs had over two million. Yeah, right. So, where about say from? Is that Spotify or? I'm on Spotify. Sorry, I'm in the, the duo, Dave. It's a bit of fun there. That wasn't that much fun there.

Seattle. Seattle. Seattle. Cucomunga. Matt and Christy McDonald. Yeah, sick. Very cool. I checking on Big Blood, 1,000 times has hit 12.5,000 streams.

Okay. You are welcome, Big Blood. You're welcome. They're like, why is this weird little influx? Wow, it's gone up by at least seven. That's probably just me. Probably just flogging it I love it

The next one comes from Thomas Doppler writer A.k.a. Husband And Thomas is asking a question writing As I'm married And also for sure have fucked wink Whoa

Sorry humped We put a brag in here This is a radio friendly brag As I'm married And also for sure have humped Wink It still feels awful But never in my life

killed anyone double wink. Oh my God. Which is a lie. Is there a lie? F.M.K. Fuck, Mary Kill. Great.

Hump Mary Kill. Yes. For all the do-go on topics of the past. I would marry Betty White, kill the moth man, and hump a saxophone. He wrote fuck. But I was tidying it up a bit. Fuck a saxophone. I was so focused on that.

Okay. Poor, poor, poor. I would marry Dolly. I would kill. kill Hitler. Have we talked about Hitler anywhere? We haven't done a Hitler topic. It's not,

damn it. I'd kill Ted Bundy. Okay, yeah. I'd kill one of the serial killers. You could have Ted Bundley, I'd get rid of like BTK killer or something. Great. Then we'd be like Dexter because we're killers,

but we're killing baddies. Killer killers. Yeah. And I would... I'd fuck them off, man. I would fuck Ryan Gosling. Oh, good one. Okay, how we doing genuine ones?

Well, am I locked in because I hope so? Because moth man gets my moth running. Yeah. I'm like, I'm a moth to his flame. Oh, yeah. There's something in there about moth balls. Yeah. Yeah, there is something, isn't there?

Okay, Dave, we've answered. That's like his moth balls. Suck his balls? No, his moth balls. Yeah. You have not fucked. So what's your answer, Dave? We've answered.

No, what was your three, Matt? Who would you marry? I'd kill Ted Bundy and marry. I'd fuck the moth man. Standing about that? Or Bigfoot. Marry? I don't think I wouldn't want to marry Bigfoot, but I would fuck.

Bigfoot. I thought you were fucking the moth man. Yeah, no. Are you just listed in all the people you'd fuck? Because we'll be here all day, you perth. It'll be quicker. I'll list the ones I wouldn't. Ted Bundy.

Dave, who would I marry, Dave? Who would you marry? What about the Don? No, he apparently is a bit of an asshole. That's disappointing. Okay. He's also dead. Okay.

What about I would fuck the lizard man from Skate or Swam? You like Sputter Beans? Yeah. I'd probably marry Bruce Lee. Yeah. Oh, okay, yeah. He's got a lot of energy that guy. Yeah.

Help around the house. It seems like. It turns out that Lizard. Lizard Man refers to your balls as butterbeam. I think you've got to know about me. I love Dave's balls. I love soccer on Dave's butterbeams. I love Dave's balls.

Someone you got to know about the lizard man. Lizard man's got his arm around Dave at the time and it's sort of like a... Tell you what I love. This guy's balls. It's like the most uncomfortable person to talk to her by. Look, I'm happy you guys are happy, but come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See you're embarrassing me in front of my friends.

I'm talking about my balls. That's just our thing, okay? What about Rihanna? Would she be good to marry? Yeah. Trying to think of celebrity buyers. Because Dolly, I think, you've already taken Dolly. I've taken Dolly.

I'd probably. kill either Riverdance. Get fucked. Or Grimmis from McDonald's. Oh, yeah. Fuck you, Grimmis. What are you? That's silly.

I'm trying to have a bit of fun here, everyone. Well, it's Princess Diana. She's... Which one are you going to say? Oh, I'm Dame Julie Andrews. I'll marry her. Great choice. Thank God I thought you were killing someone there.

All right. No, I've already killed. He's already killed Bundy. He's Bundy already dead. I feel like I might have wasted my kill. Anyway, we've taken that way too seriously. I appreciate that question, no, Thomas. And the Mothman, if you're listening, get in touch.

Literally. Now, final one comes from Paul Mellor. Love your work, Paul. Paul, okay, chief appreciator of podcasts, you can walk your dog to. Walk a dog too. Thank you very much, Paul. Love Paul.

I've said this before, but I love Paul's photos that he posts when he goes out for a walk. He just lives in this beautiful spot, I think, outside of Manchester. And Oldham, probably. And the scenery is beautiful. Beautiful leaves. Always love to see it. Now, Paul is offering us a quote.

We don't get quotes so often. Not enough. Paul wrote and writes. Hello, guys. I just wanted to say, I really appreciated your podcast. just as one about Charles Kingston Smith. I was feeling a little blue whilst walking my dog. My brother and his family had left to go back home down near London,

and so as always it was sad to say goodbye. Your pod was just so full of great facts, silly giggles, and a fantastic English slash swish slash Italian accent this week. I was laughing out loud. Sorry that I said swish instead of Swiss. Thanks for not bringing up. You brought me right around again, so thank you. Also, really looking forward to episode 400, which has already happened, of course,

on live stream. This quote is for Matt to say in his newfound accent and was by Queen Victoria. Now, what was my newfound accent back then? Any memories of that? A newfound accent. It would have been an English one? No, Charles Kingsford Smith. Look, I'll just go with the accent that comes out. But it's by Queen Victoria. So I imagine it will. It'll be a pretty posh one. Okay. Although, as we know, the English accent was different in Quintricorra sign, but... Great events.

Like me call and calm. It is only trifles that irritate my nerves. Okay. That's what came out. I think you fucking nailed it. Great events make me quiet and calm. It is only trifles that irritate my nerves. I don't get it.

Great events. events make me quiet and calm. It's only true. So, yeah, big things. She loves. Yeah, okay. And she feels calm. Yep, in a crisis.

She's an extrovert, I think is what she's saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hopefully, episode 400 will have the opposite effect and have me roaring with laughter. I'm also not sure why a trifle irritated her so much. I think they're delicious. Hey, Paul, I'm with you. My favorite dessert, my mom classically makes the trifle. Yeah.

Freakin love them. My dad is a big trifle maker as well. We just have a trifle party. I have a trifle off. Anyway, I love your work, Paul. Thank you so much, Paul. Really appreciate your work. Your work.

Now, the next thing we like to do is thank a few of our other great supporters. Jess, you normally have a little bit of a game based on the topic at hand. Yes, good luck with this one, Jess. I think it's something they've forgotten to do for a really long time. What have they been putting off for a long, long time? All right, if I can kick us off, I'd love to thank. from Bassingstoke in Great Britain. It's Fraser Lamb.

Fraser Lamb. Fraser Lamb has been putting off doing the tax. Hasn't paid tax since 2002. Whoa. And the English version or the British version of the ATO is up Fraser's ass. It's Fraser Lamb living on the lamb. Yeah. Oh dear.

Yeah, it's not good. It's not looking good. So Fraser, just bite the bullet. Hey, maybe you've got some returns coming. Pay out. At least let's get, let's get, let's get you. Get the ball rolling. Yeah, just get started.

It feels like a big mountain now. Yeah. But just start, don't do one every, every day. That's right. Do one tax return every day. Super easy. By the end of the month, you'll be tax-free. Fraser Lamb.

Great name. Great person. Next up, I'd love to thank from Louisville, Kentucky in the United States. It's Jared Weber. Jared Weber has been putting off. putting on new shoelaces on his shoes. Oh, they're nubs. They are nubs.

They're falling apart. They're tattered rags. But it's gone to the point where it's so bad now that he can't put his shoes on to go to the shoe shop to buy new shoelaces. And this horrible cycle has him trapped inside. Yeah. Wow, that must be so hard. Wait till the summer, Jared, and just barefoot it.

Barefoot, that's right. Barefoot. I think that's our advice here And thanks so much for writing into Dear Davy The Advice Corner of the show Our next person we'd like to thank It's from

Oh Address Unknown Oh You can only show from deep within the fortress of the Mowles Or Scotland Or Scotland And this person's name And thank you very much to

David Broughton Now what's David Broughton putting off, Bob? Collecting his mail. Oh, God. Oh, that was stuck enough? Yeah. Is it in a mailbox or is it going through the door?

P.O. box, maybe? Yeah, it's at a P.O. box, but that keeps filling up. So then the post office is like taking it all out and keeping it out the back. Yeah, they're dragging it into the bushes and the forest. They're leaving it in fields. They're like sending him emails. They're like, dude, you've got to come get the mail. Yeah, no, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, but then suddenly comes up and he's busy.

And now... And in his mail is a lot of tax returns that are ready to be done. Yeah. And now he's really quite embarrassed to go pick him up Because he'll have to tell him his name And he's going to be notorious of that post office So yeah The confrontation is scary

He's got a bulging male sack Yeah That's right Thank you so much David Just get it like a band-aid David Go down get it Go get it Hire out like a Bunnings trailer

Or whatever the mole man version of that is And just yeah load up Load up And if you have to do a bonfire Bob, would you like to thank of you people? I would love to. I would love to thank from Speewa in Queensland. That's incredible.

Spiwa! I reckon Al Pacino would love to visit and here to go. A little something, Dave, how would it go? You go a little something like this. Spiwa! That's hard to do. Jess, can you do it? I can't do it.

Huah. I can't. Whoa? Spewaw! See you having another child at 98 or whatever he is? Amazing. Say, you something. Come on, Dave.

Come on, mate. Be reasonable. That'd be reasonable, mate. If you're up, you're in with the fellas. If you're up, you're in. That's what. What the fuck. Okay, that is a direct quote from a teacher at my school, who is our sex ed teacher.

What? He was a brother, like a religious man in the robes and stuff. Wow. And he said, women, they've got a biological clock. They can only have kids up to a certain age, only in their 40s or something. Men, if you're up, you're in. I don't understand. I think you say as long as you can get an erection, you can be a dad.

That's all it takes to be a dad. I mean, this is coming from a celibate, man. Yeah, what would he know? Was that him telling himself, oh, if I want to, there's still time. I could do it. Could I thank this person? Oh, from Spiwa. From Spiwa.

We'd love to thank V. V from Spiwa. V from Spiwa. I think so much, V. V has forgotten. I won't say that one. Do you want to help you out here? Yeah.

V has been putting off getting out of bed. Oh, yeah. Been in bed for four and a half years. Whoa. We're talking Grandpa Joe levels here. Exactly. But if one of his relatives comes up with a golden ticket, he will be up like a freaking shot. He's like, oh, couldn't get out of bed, couldn't earn a crust for the family.

And all of a sudden, when there's a free chocolate, tour you're up and dancing about Grandpa Joe Grandpa V Come on Grandpa V Nah on your V V from Spiwa Bewa

I would also love to thank from Smithsburg Maryland M.D. Maryland Dugie Hauser Mm-hmm Kara Hirchenrother

Oh my God That is Great no Kara herchenthrother Hurtian Rother Kara Hurtchen Rother What a fricking

name has put off getting ready for summer by practicing and perfecting the bomb off the diving board unfortunately Kara last summer could not get a big splash yeah and all everyone else pointed and laugh so embarrassing like Kara hertchenrother more like Kara little splash and rather wow that hurts carra felt humiliated yeah but she's been putting off learning the bomb and like I I mean I don't know if I'm bringing this up from my own childhood but like I did as a kid when I couldn't make a splash I started doing backwackers and that's what Cara is going to do as well

and it hurts but you know at least you'll have a thing yeah that's right you're the backwacker yeah and that's it's important to have a role in the arsenal yep and finally for me I would love to thank from address unknown so we can only assume deep within the fortress of the Moles or Scotland. Mo Wells. I would love to thank James Fragnito. Oh, that's James Franco incognito, isn't it?

James, you got to get up pretty early in the morning to get one past us, mate. Come on. Thank you for your support, James Franco. Sorry, fragnito. So, yeah, so James Fragnito. Come on. From Hollywood. Yeah.

No doubt. No doubt. Moliwood. Do you want to give us your address we get at James? We get it, James Franco, because we would have turned up. Yeah. We get it. I wonder if any famous people are, anyway.

What has James been avoiding? It's put off for so long. It's now kind of gotten embarrassing. Taking his pills. Yeah. And they're vitamin D pills. Oh, okay. And as a recluse, a Hollywood recluse, doesn't get a lot of sunshine.

So is down very low on vitamin D. What does that, what kind of effect would that have on you, be low on the D? Low energy. Low energy. You can get rickets eventually. Right. And what are rickets? I'm just,

Homer has it on the Simpsons when they block out the sun. I've had it up to here with these damn rickets. Is that where rickety comes from? Do you get all creaky? Yeah, sure why not? Yeah. Can't, James. Just start today.

One vitamin D tab. Oh, just see if you can go out in the sun. It's soft bones. Ricketts isn't good. That doesn't sound good at all. Yep, I guess you could be bendy. Yeah, that's fun, I guess. Probably less likely to break your bones if you've got rickets.

Dave, do you want to thank some people? I would love to thank some people, and I would like to start with the name that I'm about to read. Oh, what a place to begin. From Merrill in Wisconsin. West Indies. Oh, no, yeah, no, U.S. Sorry. Oh, you love Merrill in the West Indies.

I'm afraid not. Not from the Caribbean, but from Merrill in Wisconsin. Big shout out and thank you to Megan Chila. Oh, Megan Chalajal. I like how you gave it, the American Megan. I was going to say Megan, but I'm sure you would say Megan if you are originally from there. Again, they're going, what's the difference? I can't.

Megan, Megan, Megan, it's all good. It's the same thing. Megan. Megan. Megan, I love it. I want some water. Megan has been putting. My name's Megan Craig.

I want some water. Your name is Megan Craig? My name is Megan Craig. I want some water. My name is Megan Craigan. Hey, do you see that squirrel? So, I was my way to get some water. And all of a sudden, I saw a squirrel.

My name is Megan Craig. Megan Craig would be a great breakfast radio, Jewette. Megan Craig. Megan Craig. You're up with Megan Craig in the mornings. It's squirrel owl. Anyone seen any squirrels? Goal it now.

Goal it now. I think Meg has been putting off elocution lessons. Yes. Not elucing very well. I cannot understand a thing Megan says. But we love it. Love the energy. Totally.

You sound great. Beautiful, tonally. But I just cannot understand me. What are you saying, Megan? Just spell it out for me. What are you saying, Megan? Thanks, Megan. And finally, actually,

Again, pretty frustrating. Like, I'm a guy who enunciates, so maybe you could put in the same amount of effort. Okay? We don't need any more mumblers, okay? Megan, I definitely am throwing in stone in the glasshouse. This episode had to be edited down by about 25 minutes from my stumbles this week. So, general. Thank you to, Megan.

And also thank you to, from deep within the fortress of the moles, we assume, because it's a location unknown again. And this is, all one word, your friend, Phoenix. Oh. Our friend Phinex. Definitely our friend, Finix. So good. And Phoenix, our friend, has been putting off.

Treating rickets. Treating the rickets. Oh, okay. Get that vitamin D. Phoenix's own rickets? Or treating friends rickets? Both. They both got rickets.

Oh, no. And so they're not treating James Fragneedo, okay, James Franco's rickets. You're just got to take your vitamin D. Come on, guys. Come on. It's just a little tablet. It's really easy. Yeah.

Just take it. They don't taste like anything. They don't taste like anything. You just have it. It's middle of winter now and I'm taking vitamin D. You must. Just to give you a little peek behind the curtain. That's how my process has worked here today. It's beautiful.

Two of the nine names we've had vitamin D tablet related answers. So we're working pretty well here today. Hey, there's still one more to go. We really miss that horse name generator. I've had it open, but it has not been helping. Okay. It just says vitamin D. I'll try now.

We'll see if there's anything I can make work. All right. We're just reaching out to you as our friend, Phoenix. Take that D. And finally, I would like to thank from Kingsbridge in Devon. Oh, where they do scons right. Cream then jam. Jam.

Jam then cream is the way to be. I would like to thank James Brown. You wouldn't be sick of that. Been forgetting to cash in their chips. Is that horse name generally? One of them is chips. Oh, I guess the horse was called Cash in Your Chips. That's pretty good.

So they keep winning at the casino. Had a big win, but then had to... They were tired, wanted to go home. Couldn't be able to lining up to cash him in. James Brown, get on up and cash in those chips. Yeah. Coho, I got you. Thank you so much to James Phoenix.

Megan James Cara V. David, Jared and Fraser. You're all so beautiful to us. And the last thing we need to do is welcome a few people into the Triptitch Club. Dave explains this the best, I think. Well, what we do here is this is the Triptich Club, our Theatre of the Mind, a Hall of Fame for people that have been on the shout-at level or above for three consecutive years. And to thank them for their ongoing support, we've already given them a shout-out a couple years back.

But for this, we now induct them into our Hall of Fame that do go on Triptitch Club, which is like a bar, a hangout space. Once you're in, you can't leave because you don't want to leave. You're on the honor roll forever. Inside, there's food, there's drink, there's bands. We welcome you in. Jess usually organizes the food each week and new dish is added to the menu. What do we got? That sauce said so much.

I'm sick of this bullshit. No, no, no. Oh, Jess, we haven't talked about it yet, but I scratched a big scar on your forehead before. Uh-huh. And you've lost quite a lot of blood. I have. We've got to get a photo for the Patreon group. Do we have to get a photo for a patron?

Me and Dave pointing right at it. Yeah. I'll show where my nail had a big chunk of your skin on it. Literally a scratch across Jess's forehead. And I was not involved. I don't think we have to. Okay, we don't. Let's not even mention it.

No, I'm sighing because... Because we went out for, in between doing that and recording this episode, we left a Dild Jaya singer who's been on an episode years ago about Booney. He was at the door and he's like, I hope that happened on the podcast. You don't want to waste that content. Yeah, it's good content. And I thought, you know what, I better bring it up.

I don't want to have scratched skin off Jess's face for nothing. So I brought it up now. So that Band-Aid will be tax deductible. Thank God. I understand Tax-all. Yeah, I don't see how that wouldn't work. No, look, the sigh was because poor timing in that I just had a lot of meat on bones. Oh, no, no, no.

That's what I had planned. And now with this topic, that feels really poor taste. But you've had the, you know, the catering booked in for ages. For ages. I booked these things so far in advance. Meat on bones. Just meat on bones. Can you tell I'm a vegetarian?

I couldn't think of a single meat that came on a bone. Tea bone? Tea bone, like a turkey leg. What about a rack of lamb? Pork chop. Is that on bones? You carry on like one. Yeah, yeah.

A full roast chicken. Full roast chicken, bones and all. Beef chop. Beef chop. Flip any sort of chop. You've got a bone on it. Yeah. What?

If you're up, you're in. Yes, brother. We said you can't say brother, Dave. In this context, so I'm talking to a brother. It was an earlier year the sex ed teacher. I've told this story before, I'm sure. He said, there's any holes and there's outy holes. Oh, dear God.

I've had so many weird sex ed lessons. It's weird that Catholic students. school wasn't good at sex ed. No, not their strength, that's for sure. So yeah, I don't, yeah, maybe, and cocktails-wise, I just had just whatever I've had in the past. Let's move on. Catholic schools don't know what's causing it, is what I'm saying.

Yeah. But yeah, no, I, geez, my mouth's watering at all those meat on bones. It's another story. I'd just tell, and I, at the end of a, we had a family roast, dad are like, all right, Matt, you can, you can take the bone out the back. And I'd go out in the backyard and just chew. the last bits of the meat off the bone. In the backyard.

And I'd be looking through the window, everyone still's under the table. Why would you send outside to do it? Well, I guess I'd make a mess otherwise. They were big bones. Bone boy. Outside, outside, bone boy. It's like when the Halloween episode of the Simpsons

where Bart's half-brother would be throwing the bucket of fish out. You go to the bushet. Yeah. So gross. I always book a band as well. Did you want to hear about that? Yes, please.

You're never going to believe it. What? This story was. based in Georgia, and I've got George's own, the B-52s are here. No way. That is a great get. I think they're on their farewell tour. Yeah, well, they're stopping by.

So good they're going to stop by the trip. At least one gig for us. That's so cool. Big fan, love their work as far as I know it. No, the big hits. Yeah. Rome is a banger. Love Shack.

Rock Lobster. I think I'm out after that. Me too, but they're great. What about shiny, happy people with REM where some of their members sing on it? Oh, that's cool. They're also from Georgia. Yeah, they're from... Both from Athens.

Town mates. Probably sitting for friends. Yeah, no, I like their work. Now, the way this works is I'm on the door. I got the clipboard. I'm about to read out the names. Dave's on stage. He's got the mic.

He's going to hype you up. As I read your name, he'll hype you up with some weak word play based on your... Don't say the word weak in there. Come on. I know you're trying to undersell so I look even better that I already am. You don't think I need to do that?

No. I like to set expectations low. Just because honestly, you'd barely meet these anyways. When you emcee a comedy night, all right, if your first accent come out, they're going to suck. If they do a few jokes. Oh, that's true. No, I would, I do not, I'd do the opposite of that. Yeah.

And I could say it, honestly, I've emceived for you before Dave. I'd say, this guy's the best in the business. One of my great friends. He's about to hype you up through the roof. You will not believe how clever his wordplay. He is the master of podcast. puns. He is the pun master. Now, welcome to the stage, Dave Warnocky. Thank you so much. Good evening. Legends.

All right, Kirsty, where you back? And she calls everyone Legends. Now, Jess Perkins will be hopping up, Dave. Here we go. First up, welcome into the Triptitch Club from Surrey in British Columbia and Canada. It's Michael Deo. Oh, Deo. Deo. Oh, Deo. Oh, deo. Deo. Michael Deo. From Christchurch in New Zealand, please welcome. Oh my God, it's Alexander Jones. Calling Alexander Jones, Alexander Jones, calling Alexander Jones, calling Alexander Jones, Wake up now from Christchurch.

We love your work, Alexander Jones. Also from Glenside in Iraq and Pennsylvania in the United States, Michelle Lindberger. I think it's Lineberger. Okay. Because I was going to say, we've crossed the line, burger. That's right. It's a touchdown. Michelle Lerger.

From Virginia Beach in Virginia in the United States, it's Ryan Butterfield. They've been butterfielding me up all night. It's Ryan Butterfield. From Midlothian in also Virginia. Holy shit, it's Virginia Week here. In the United States, it's Kareem Rimawe. More like Dream Ramawi. Kareem, a dream.

Fuck, I love the name, Kareem. From Gig Harbor in maybe Washington in the United States, it's Joe Rankley. Joe Rankley, frankly, I love you. Whoa. From Hamilton in Waccato, New Zealand, it's Lee McIntosh. More like Lee McIntosh when I see your face. From Norwich in Norfolk in Great Britain home of Alan Partridge. It's David Kingfisher.

You're the king, Kingfisher. How does he do it? They're so good. Franklin, in Tasmania, Australia, it's Laura Wood. Laura Wood, be awesome. Yeah, if she joined us at this party, and she's here! Yeah, Laura Wood. You bet I will.

And from South Freemantle in Western Australia, it's Alex. Alex. Oh, sorry, you were mouthing something on me, Jess. Western Australia, from the best in Australia. Yeah, okay, yeah, South Fremantle, more like, uh, um, I feel free mantle when I see you, Alex. Yeah. You set me free mantle.

Yeah. I'll put you on the mantle. Yeah, I put you on my mantle. Like a prize. No, no, your ashes. Wait, no, that's worse. Thank you so much, Alex Ler. I said, burn you.

Okay, see, it's fine. Yeah, yeah. I'm digging myself out of the hole with this big shovel. I won't just dump you in the woods. I'll burn you. Thank you, Alex, Laura, David Lee, Joe, Kareem. Ryan, Michelle, Alexander. and Michael.

Welcome all in the club. Make yourselves at home. Grab a big bone and have a chew. Sorry about that. No, most of these people love that. All the other foods are on the menu. And that brings to the end of the episode, actually. Is there anything else we need to tell people before we go?

That they can suggest a topic at do go on pod.com. Where you can also find info about live shows. You can see previous episodes, all sorts of fun stuff. and find us on social media at DoGoOn Pod as well. And if you're up to date with all the dogo Ons, go back to the start listening again. And if you're looking for more to listen to, we've all got other podcasts. Just does one called Simply the Jest. Dave one does one called Booksheet, and I do one called Who New with Matt Stewart.

And they're all worth listening to as well. We've also got other ones, primates, and listen now. And listen now is getting started to be recorded again. Oh, amazing. By the time this comes out, it's probably on its way to finishing finally the second season, which has been on hiatus for nearly three years. Get fired. Isn't that wild?

I couldn't believe it. I do not believe that. Three years. Whoa. Okay. Well, very exciting then. Yeah. Davey, boot this baby home.

Hey, we'll be back next week, but until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening. And until then, it's goodbye. Later. Bye. All right, I missed the button the first time. I'm hit and roll, because normally you'd get away with that, but that big red light means not anymore. We know when you fucked it.

AJ, I told the others that I was hit and record, and then I missed. He missed a button. Can you believe that, AJ? AJ, just take a second, pause this, point and laugh at your computer. Yeah, because, you know, you think of, like, Dave out there shooting free throws to win the game. Uh-huh. He can't even hit a button.

I actually throw it towards the other end Oh What is that wrong You passed it to someone in the crowd There you go dad Is that what you wanted me to do Dad come down Did he take my shot

Somehow you fall over The free throw line I stack it All right Now put that in at the end of the episode I joke That's great That's good stuff

That's good stuff. It's just funny. That's desperate for bonus bits. Other people love that little bit at the end. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester.

But this way you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree. Very, very easy. It means we know to come to you and you'll also know that we're coming to you. Yeah, we'll come to you. You come to us. Very good. And we give you a spam-free guarantee.