Do Go On - 401 - The Tri-State Crematory Scandal

Episode Date: June 28, 2023

Have you ever wondered what would happen if a cremator decided to stop cremating and just keep the bodies? Well unfortunately we don't have to wonder, because in Georgia in the early 2000s, that exact thing happened. Warning: This is a bit of a creepy episode!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 05:40 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our merch: https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:Jana Cone’s articles in the Tifton Gazette: Part One, Two, Three and Four https://www.timesfreepress.com/news/2012/feb/12/horror-in-noble/ https://www.grunge.com/911165/the-chilling-tri-state-crematory-scandal-explained/https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna6891712  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club, April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at dogo1pod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right. I'm doing shows with Saren Jayamana, who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February, Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattstuartcomedy.com.

We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On.

My name is Dave Warnke and as always I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hey Dave, so good to be here. Anything else to add? Well, no, I don't think there's anything else to add. Apart from maybe if I could pose a question, how good is it to be alive? I wish I was never born. And I love you both. Matt, what is this show? What are we here for?

Well, the way it works is here at Do Go On HQ. That's right. We're in the headquarters right now. Here at Stupid Old Studios, the best studios in the world. Certainly not stupid nor old. No, brand new. Very intelligent. Yeah.

So it's an ironic title. Very ironic. If you get it, you get it. If not, stay away. If you don't, then it's not for you. Okay, it's an ironic title. Very ironic. If you get it, you get it. If not, stay away. If you don't, then it's not for you. Okay, it's not for you. Back off. If you don't get it, that's on you, not on us.

Yep. And fuck you. So the way this show works in particular is one of the three of us chooses a topic or is helped to choose it based on a vote by the patrons. Nailing it so far. Often the topics have been suggested by a listener. Then we'll learn about that topic. We'll bathe in it.

We'll read or listen to audio books. We'll watch documentaries. We'll browse articles. And then we'll come back with all that new knowledge in the form of almost like a high school report. And we'll present it to the other two like a high school report and we'll present it to the other two, like a high school oral presentation. The other two, usually, to try to keep things fun, will be quite annoying, interrupting when some listeners at home are going, just get to the point.

But those listeners, of course, should just do their own research. Yeah. And that's something I say across all facets of life, do your own research. This week Dave is doing the topic and he is about to get us on the topic with a question Which is what we always do Dave, what is your question this week? I can't believe that was the 401st time we've explained the show

We've gotten so good at it So succinct now You haven't asked me in a while, I reckon for good reason It's a beautiful dance we do Exactly I do have a question to start us on the topic And the question is Taking a page out of Matt Stewart's question recently Dance we do. Exactly. I do have a question to start us on the topic, and the question is, taking a page out of Matt Stewart's question recently,

what is the title of episode 10 of this podcast? Death, Burial, or Other. Missing the key word there. Death, Cremation, or Other. Cremation, Burial, or Other. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That was like Wordle. You had it in the right spots But not quite

Yes Right words but not the right spot I reckon I get the point there Why? Because I said the right words In the wrong order Oh we've paid less than that before I said the right words in the right order

I'd be happy to give you both half a point each for that one But cremation is integral That's the only reason I was a bit of a bastard about that Because You're a massive asshole then actually I only reason I was a bit of a bastard about that. You're a massive asshole then, actually. I thought that was rude. A bit of a bastard. Try king of the bastards.

Bow down. You're a real bitch. I needed to hear cremation because we're going back there today. Today's episode is all about a crematorium. Oh, sexy. This topic was voted for by the Patreon supporters and it was the most death-filled topic. And can you believe that this one wasn't close

for the first time in a long time? This was the runaway winner. Thank you to the Patreon people for voting. They chose death. But it has been suggested by three people. Thank you to Stephen D dumbbold from san diego tony martinez from melbourne florida spelt b-o-r-n he wrote in brackets the real way to say it okay well i don't think we can argue with that we have taken out most of the letters in the back that's

the australian way also tony i noticed that you suggested this five years ago. So, hey, you still hanging with us, Tony? Tony! Yay! Tony in Melbourne. And finally, thanks to SG Pennington. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. From Chickamauga, Georgia in the United States, who also wrote a little message as they grew up near where this topic

takes place, and I'll read that at the end to not give away too much. I reckon. Does this guy travel town to town selling some sort of a tonic that cures all? SG Pennington tonic. You're there, sir. Step right up. Try this tonic.

That's amazing. Yes, sir. Thank you, those people. Just before we get on to that, I want to reopen this idea of listeners sending in a quick jingle explaining the show because you know how I just butchered it? For a little while there we did jingles, but we got them to email them to our email address.

So I've got – and they all just went missing in there. So I've got an idea. I haven't made the email address yet, but let's say something real specific that won't be taken by on Gmail yet. Like do go on pod jingle at gmail.com. What about DoJingleOn? DoJingleOn. Surely that won't be taken.

All right. DoJingleOn at gmail.com. Send them in to that email address. And don't sign us up to any spam, okay? Our DoGoOnPod's getting enough of that as it is. All right. And that's why all the emails go missing in there. So if you could just send it to Dojingleon at gmail.com,

if you've got a jingle, or if you've sent one through in the past that never got played, resend it and we'll play the best ones or maybe all of them in upcoming episodes. Great. Okay. Fantastic. Do jingle on. If I seem distracted during this episode,

I'll be signing up to a new email address. No, you won't forget. You won't forget. So, our story today takes place in Noble in northwestern Georgia. Noble is tiny and is near the tri-state corner where three states meet, Tennessee, Georgia, and Alabama. Oh, what a beautiful intersection there. Yeah.

It's also called a tri-point, which is an area that's a geographical point where three boundaries of three borders meet. Georgia actually continues to dispute the location of the border with Tennessee. They argue that a small portion of the Tennessee River should be located in Georgia, which over the couple of centuries since the map was drawn has become more and more of a big deal as Georgia's population has expanded and has gone through drought and really needs the water. So now they're like, no, no, no. That's on our side, but they dispute where the border is.

It's still an ongoing thing with threats of going to the Supreme Court. In 2019, Tennessee State Senator Todd Gardenhire, that's an incredible name, sarcastically told a group that Georgia could have access to all the water they want from the Tennessee River as long as the intake is located across the river from a sewage treatment plant at Moccasin Bend in Chattanooga. Whoa. Now that's a bitch. Wow.

Wow. Yeah, this is big. This is called the Tennessee-Georgia Water Dispute. This episode? That's what that is. Wow. Yeah, this is big. This is called the Tennessee-Georgia Water Dispute. This episode? That's what that- Okay. But like, holy shit. I feel like you just summed most of it up. Because he did say this episode's got a lot of death.

But what have I told you? That the Tennessee-Georgia Water Dispute is certainly not the most controversial or famous event to happen in this part of the world, not by a long shot. Whoa. More controversial than this water where they just take little quips at each other. I can't believe that. I don't know where I've got it from,

but some show I used to watch as a kid or something, there would be a running joke like, this is the best in the tri-state area or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I just love that idea of the tri-state area. Yeah, and I think there's big rivalries between those three meeting points. The best falafel in the tri-state area is something you might hear. Yes.

Maybe. Do we have a tri-state area? I never really thought about it. Yeah, is there a bit? South Australia, Queensland, New South Wales? Yeah, there'd be a- The tri-state area. They have a tri-state area.

And there's some damn good falafel in that area. In that corner of desert. There's like 16 falafels. Would there not also be Victoria, New South Wales, South Australia? Oh, you're right And that would be And Western Australia, South Australia, Northern Territory Yeah Northern Territory, Queensland

All of them Apart from Tasmania Apart from Tasmania Whoa How about that? Are you looking at a map, Dave? Yeah As am I

Yeah Yeah, you got me Because he gets all serene? Are you looking at a map, Dave? Yeah. As am I. Yeah. Yeah, you got me. Because he gets all serene when he's looking at a map. He does. We do have New South Wales, South Australia, Victoria. Do we have any that are anywhere near populated? Because they're all in desert corners pretty much. Pretty much.

I mean, Mildura is pretty close to the, and Renmark's right on the- Okay. At the South Australian side of the border. One day. Can we put this on our list with doing a podcast on a barge in international waters? Oh, we'll be all staying in a different state. Let's do one. We'll do a pod in the tri-state area. We're each standing in a different state.

I love that. That's awesome. That is awesome. That- no, can I just say, though, if I could just add to that. Yeah. That is awesome. That is fucking awesome, man. And though, if I could just add to that, that is awesome. That is fucking awesome, man. And they've all got names.

They've all got names. So the corner of South Australia, Victoria, New South Wales, that's called McCabe Corner. South Australia, Queensland and New South Wales is Cameron Corner. And Queensland, Northern Territory, SA is called Popal Corner. So I think McCabe Corner might be the most realistic. That's the most accessible to us. Yeah, I say.

All right, let's put it on the list because we've made such big strides on the way to the International Waters episode. I love to just add things to the list. To the pile. Yeah, it's good. Things to make me feel low-key stressed about. Things to wake me up in the middle of the night. I haven't been to the Tri-State area.

I reckon I was thinking about the barge one. We should do one at least on the water somewhere. You know, we just do one on the Yarra River. On a pier. Yeah. You just get one of those little boats that you can hire for the day and we just record a pod. That counts.

Aunty Donna did one recently. That's right. And that made me think, what a great start. Yeah, but what if we took that boat and just kept going? Oh, that's true. We just got to go a couple hundred kilometres offshore and then we're in international waters. Easy.

With this little electric, we have to, like, push the distress beacon because we're stranded. Oh, yeah, they've definitely got distress beacons in them. And we call, yeah. Absolutely. And we call it, yeah. Absolutely. And we just rename it. Yeah, no, no, they'd be straying out to get us when we press that distress beacon. Oh, yeah, let's fire up a flare, shall we?

Oh, they're coming. That's for sure. We just, we rename the boat Abage. Abage. Abage. Live from Abage. Now, we got a little off topic there, but basically something much more controversial has happened in this area. That's right.

In early 2002, the United States Environmental Protection Agency, the EPA, they've got an office in Atlanta, Georgia, and they received an anonymous tip that something was not quite right at Tri-State Crematory, a crematorium in Noble. Oh. tri-state crematory, a crematorium in Noble. The EPA made a surprise visit to the crematorium in February 2002, and it really was a surprising visit on all counts. After what they'd seen, they were in way over their heads and called in a number of agencies to help in their investigation.

But what on earth had they discovered? This is the story of the tri-State Crematory Scandal. Whoa. Because it feels like the EPA seems like a weird thing to be called for the crematory, doesn't it? It feels like you'd want some body to do with humans. Well, that's what they went in there and they said, this is more than we can handle.

So they called in the FBI. They called in all these other government agencies. Yeah, probably not. Holy shit. A and Z. And, yeah, because the EPA, weren't they one of the major players in the Simpsons movie? Eepa, Eepa, Eepa?

Oh, gosh, I've only seen it once at the cinema. Can't remember. I watched it again recently. Good fun? I think it's not as bad as... Yeah, I think it's all right. Spider pig, spider pig. That's funny.

Does whatever a spider pig does. Can he swing from a web? No, he can't. He's a pig. It's just locked in my brain forever. Just remembers it. Okay, so what have they discovered? Let's back. He's a pig. It's just locked in my brain forever. Just remembers it. Okay, so what had they discovered? Let's back up here for a second.

Tri-state crematory was set up in the mid-1970s by Tommy Ray Marsh on Highway 27, three miles north of Lafayette. He is commonly referred to as Ray. Okay. How'd he get that name? Even though his first name is Tommy. Previously, cremation had been difficult to obtain in the area with no crematoriums

for miles and miles, and as the name suggested, Ray's business catered to a number of funeral homes in Georgia, Alabama and Tennessee. Ray Marsh, a respected local man, saw this gap in the market and built a crematorium in his backyard. It was quite a big 16 acres a but it was quite a big

it's got 16 acres it's quite a big property it's not like yeah because they have a lot of roadside zoos and stuff over there that are like just backyard zoos yeah wow i didn't know they did that for crematoriums and other things as well what else can you do in your backyard over in the u.s whatever you want that's the thing it's the land in the US. Whatever you want. That's the thing. It's the land of the free. Do what you want. Firing range. That'd be sick. Imagine that. Just being able to go, not have to drive anywhere to get a few rounds off.

Yeah. That'd be a dream. That would cut down so many hours of commute time for me. Who do you spend like two hours a day on the way to and from the driving range? Yeah, yeah. The driving range is where I go and shoot. Which a lot of people say is inappropriate because the golfers are there trying to hit balls but if they hit the balls, I shoot the balls.

That's just a moving target. What are the clay pigeons? Clay pigeons. Too big. Too easy. I need a smaller target. Yeah, I call them pigeon balls. But if you're having a bad day you go next door to the mini golf course and then you just start having to shoot. Sorry kid. Well that's where I started on pigeon balls. Yeah, but if you're having a bad day, you go next door to the mini golf course and then you just start having to shoot. Yeah, yeah.

Sorry, kid. Well, that's where, you know, that's where I started as a child, where I started shooting was at mini golf courses. Anyway. To shoot the ball between King Kong's legs. Yeah. Ray Marsh, he builds his own crematory. According to Joy Luckachick-Smith, incredible name, Joy, writing for the Times Free Press,

laws regulating funeral crematories were lax. Marsh hadn't renewed his licence for several years and no one was requiring him to do so. For the most part, people just trusted him. Yeah, he's a man you can trust. It's Ray Marsh. It's Ray Marsh. He's building his backyard.

It's all good. His real name's Tom. Why has he changed it to Ray? No, probably for some above-the-board reason. In 1996, Ray got sick and his son, Ray Brent Marsh, known as Brent. Okay. They're both known by their names. So, Dad's Ray, Brent's the son.

Brent took over the family business when Ray got sick. Okay. At the time, Brent was a football player at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga playing for the Chattanooga Mocs, formerly the Chattanooga Moccasins. Go Mocs. Go Mocs. Love that.

I love having your team mascot being shoes. Comfy shoes. Comfy shoes. Now, am I right in saying it's the home of the Chattanooga choo-choo? That's an old-timey song. Yeah, from Company Way or something? Yeah, it's like an old war song. And they use a little clip of it on Mad as Hell,

Sean McAuliffe's show a lot, referencing some politician, which I never got the joke, but I laughed. Every time. To not make anyone around me think I'm silly. Yeah, kind of that. Yeah, I get it. I get it. It's classic.

It's a good reference. Good reference. Written in 1941 by Mac Gordon. It's referring to a train, the Chattanooga Choo Choo. Describing the train's route. Love it. There you go. But they're also famous for the Chattanooga Mocs.

So, Brent, he was at university at the time. He played with Hall of Fame wide receiver Terrell Owens, who played his first seven seasons in the NFL for the San Francisco 49ers and was most known for his controversial touchdown celebrations. For example, in 2002. Set a fire. He punched a kid. There's quite a few of these that have been written about,

but the one that got my attention was he, in 2002, Owens pulled out a Sharpie out of his sock to sign the football he caught to score a touchdown with and then gave the ball to his financial advisor oh that is so funny to avoid future incidents players were promptly banned from bringing any outside objects onto the field. That is awesome. That's so funny and so weird, but okay. What was his name? Terrell Owens. I think he's quite a famous.

He's in the Hall of Fame. He's seen as one of the best to ever do his position. I know a lot about football. Yeah, it shows. Unlike his teammate, Brent Marsh wouldn't make it to the NFL, but he had been a star lineman for the lafayette high school ramblers where he won the rambler award and the hustler award for the football team he was also captain of the track team and was named sprinter of the year and had

perfect attendance in his senior year at lafayette high good student dave you i don't know if you did this on purpose but you said those awards like we would understand what they meant. What is the Hustler Award? I thought you guys might jump in. Because it's so ridiculous. It's pretty funny. Hustler Award. I did have a thought of, like, let's have those awards,

but I shotgun the Rambler Award. Yeah. Well, I feel like I'm probably the bigger rambler here. Well, you know, we can put this in the next Golden Shiny Garry's and I've got a few months to start really rambling. Okay. Now, let me tell you what I had for breakfast. Guess what?

It was the same thing I just had for lunch. Sorry, Jess. As the pod hustler, I'm going to hustle you along here. I don't think you know what a hustler is. I'm just going to hustle you. I'm a hustler. Hey. Yeah.

Respect the hustle, which is me moving you along. I'm hustling, baby. Matt is both the rambler and the hustler of our group. Yeah. Both important roles. Well, one is more beneficial. The other's a bit fucking tedious a lot of the time. Some people like it.

Occasionally there'll be a listener who's like, nah, leave in the ramble bits. I think more people are quietly going, thank God you've stopped on those ramble bits. So he's won some awards. He's got a perfect attendance. He sounds like a model student. Yes, and he's a big guy, a strong guy, a fit guy with a very promising future.

Yes. But when his dad got sick, sadly, he had to drop out of college to run the family funeral home and crematory. Brent himself wasn't a licensed funeral director, but at the time, like I said before, state officials didn't monitor licenses closely. It didn't really matter. He'd learnt it from his dad.

He took over. Yeah. It's in his blood. It's not the kind of thing you want to learn how to cremate. You don't do that from a book in some learning facility. You do that on the job. You live in it and you breathe it. You breathe those ashes.

You don't read books, you burn them. Yeah. That's right. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on. I thought I was agreeing to you there. Yeah, no. So Brent took over and to the outside world,

everything seemed to be running normally. Great. Until. Oh, no. October 2000, when something alarming was noticed at the property this part of the story has been written about extensively by yana cone from the tifton gazette in georgia none of those words are real yana cone yana cone yana wrote a great four-part article in 2007 that i will link to on the show notes on this this small part of the story.

Her name does sound like an Aussie bogan offering you some chuff. Yeah. Yarn a cone? Yeah. Mate, what, yarn a cone? Well, I personally prefer bongs. That's what the cones are, is it? I don't know.

I don't chuff as much as I used to. I thought cones were bongs. No. No, they probably are. Edit out this bit, please. I don't want everyone knowing we're nerds. Oh, God. Sorry, it was just the most broken-sounding word I could think of.

Yarn a cone? Now, crematoriums use a lot of gas for their cremators. In a tri-state, they weren't plumbed in and needed deliveries of propane. They were supplied by Blossman Gas Inc. And one of their delivery drivers was Gerald Cook. Cook took on the delivery to Tri-State when one of his colleagues and friends no longer wanted to do it. And Cook was apprehensive about visiting the crematorium. He had a couple of reasons.

Maybe because it was a crematorium and they're just a bit creepy. about visiting the crematorium. He had a couple of reasons. Maybe because it was a crematorium and they're just a bit creepy. Or he also had a memory of when he was 12 years old of Ray Marsh, the founder of the crematory, saying something creepy to Cook's dad. Yarnacone in one of the articles writes, Ray Marsh had asked Cook's father if he could borrow a forklift to place a body in the incinerator. Marsh had gone on to explain that the body was just too large for him to lift. Cook's father turned down Marsh's request because his forklift could only be used on concrete, not on gravel or dirt, which is what they had at Marsh's property. Marsh responded that if he couldn't get the body picked up and put in,

he would have to cut it up and put it in piece by piece. Cook, the gas delivery man, remembered this comment and it gave him the creeps. Now he's going back to this place. Yeah, make that two people with the creeps. Right. Because of big corpses? Or you think that there's something else going on here? The chopping up of the corpses.

The chopping up and putting them in bit by bit. I mean, they're dealing with corpses. That's what you'd have to do. I don't think that is what you'd have to do. I'm wondering if it's not a human corpse. A horse. Horse corpse? Oh.

Like he's in some sort of- T-Rex. I was thinking like hippopotamus. Oh, no. Probably T- Horse corpse. Oh. Like he's in some sort of- T-Rex. I was thinking like hippopotamus. Oh, no, probably T-Rex. Oh, yeah. It feels a bit weird too, doesn't it, using a forklift to lift a body? I don't know why that just feels a bit inhumane. But I hope they still advertise that they're like-

We respect. Really respect. Like they're like white lady ribbons or whatever, funeral homes. We respect your grandpapa. Yeah, we treat your family with the utmost respect. With the utmost forklift. We'll heave the carcass of your loved ones into the incinerator with love and care.

And if you would prefer us to do it by hand, we will be able to put it in bit by bit, wearing our long white gloves. After we've chopped them up with a hacksaw, chainsaw, or both. Foot by foot, leg by leg. With love. Stop it! Then we'll set fire to that corpse.

Respectfully. Respecting their memories. We'll play Elton John. As we press, we flick on the incinerator. I'm still standing. Crocodile, crocodile, crocodile, crocodile. Don't go breaking my heart. Does he have a funeral song?

None of them feel that appropriate. Yes, Candle in the Wind. Candle in the Wind. That's probably why I was thinking of him. Save to me. Live to your heart. When he re-released Crocodile Rock as Diana Rock. Diana Rock.

Diana Rock. Diana Rock. Rest and freeze the people's princess. What are we talking about? We're talking about- Forklift. A creepy, creepy one. Cook, his dad, growing up had said to Ray Marsh,

you can't use my forklift. And Ray Marsh had said, I'll have to chop the body up. And that's freaked him out his whole life. And now he's delivering to this property. So he's already got the creeps. And as Cook arrived at the property, he already had a shiver running down his spine. He was freaked out.

Something just felt a bit off. He drove around the sprawling property with many buildings looking for where to go. Shit was everywhere. There's junk and rubbish all over this place. He parked his truck, left the engine running and walked up to one of the buildings to try and find out where he should go. Cone writes, as he neared the end, Cook tried to gather his wits and make sure it was what it appeared to be, asking himself, am I seeing what I'm seeing? He looked around. What Cook saw mingled in with the debris made his knees weak with fear. Human skulls were clearly visible.

Skulls. Skulls. Some with patches of hair and skin still clinging to the bone. Others bleached white and bare. Bones he could not identify also lay in the mix, and his nightmare deepened at the sight of whole bodies with tissue desperately clinging to their bones. The sight of it burned itself into his memory.

Right. So this guy, what, to save costs, he's not incinerating him? Or his incinerator broke and he just never got it fixed? Well. Like, it's not weird for him to have bodies. But Cook. It's weird to have bodies in that state. Yeah, but if he's got an incinerator there and this is like he shouldn't have these bodies,

why hasn't he gotten rid of the bodies? Yeah. This is confusing. But Cook's first thought was, are these murder victims? Is this some sort of sacrificial cult? All alone on the large property, he started to fear that he's in some serious danger. He's like, I don't think I'm meant to be seeing this. Right.

Because remember, he can't find the crematory. He's driving around going, is it here? Is it here here and he's seen this and gone oh shit he was broken out of his panic-fueled days when you heard a voice yelling over the top of his truck engine gas man oh gas man oh that's great that's the that's the creepiest thing you've said so far to me someone said like of me. Someone said it like, Gas man! Oh, gas man! Yoo-hoo! It was the voice of Brent Marsh calling out to him. Cook, the driver, was initially paralysed with fear, but he was able to snap

out of it and he quickly leapt into action and ran away from the pile of bones and towards the voice calling out to him. So he's not in the truck. He's on foot. He's on foot. And he sprinted back to his truck. But just as he approached, he slowed to a walk and tried to look as casual and calm as he could. And he said, well, I certainly haven't seen anything weird.

What have you been up to? How are you? He's pissed his pants, but he's playing it very cool. Cook stepped out into the open just as Brent Marsh appeared and came around the truck. Cook continued to try and play it cool. He says, where's your tank at? Probably going, what are you saying?

Yarn a cone? He's playing it real cool. Marsh stared at him and motioned towards the crematorium. Cook got into his truck and drove over to it whilst Marsh followed behind him on foot. Marsh was watching his every move and Cook, still frightened out of his mind, connected the hose from the truck to the tank and started the pump. It seemed to take a lifetime to fill.

But eventually, it was full, and he was out of there like a shot, but he couldn't get the images of the bones, skulls, and hair out of his mind. He drove around aimlessly, not sure what to do eventually he was able to calm himself down and he told his boss bobby brown what he had seen his boss was bobby brown i knew it i knew it what do you mean you knew it you knew his boss was bobby brown i could just feel it is whitney involved i don't know who bobby brown is whitney houston's husband yeah i can confirm it's him. He's a musician.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Was he the guy who had a song, Ain't Nobody Humpin' Around? Is that him? Oh, the humping guy. Yeah, you know. Is that him? I don't know.

This is so creepy. It is so creepy. I'm in, though. I'm way into this story. I love how I don't know what's going on. I'm scared. It is. creepy. It is so creepy, isn't it? I'm in, though. I'm way into this story. I love how I don't know what's going on. I'm scared. It is. It's scary.

This is like, and so often I'm grateful for the fact that we no longer record late at night, but especially now. This would be a creepy one to walk back to our cars afterwards. Yeah. Yeah. Bobby Brown's saying humping around. Okay, great. Can't believe I missed that one. So he just sort of drove around

it might have been like in your defense you were you would have been quite young when it came out i was many hundreds of years old already so it was your prime discotheque yeah yeah i was humping around already at that stage okay little brag there oh thanks for believing me uh so he's kind of driven around feeling feeling a bit lost. Yeah, but eventually he's like, I'll talk to Bobby Brown. He'll hump it out. We'll talk it. Mano a mano.

No. According to Cone, they decided to think about it overnight and discuss it the next day. So Cook went back out to finish his route. So he went back out, did the rest of the day's work. The next morning, his boss, Bobby Brown, told Cook he hadn't slept overnight. Tossing and turning over what to do.

Yeah, I don't think Cook slept either. Yeah. Bobby, yeah. He's humping around, Bobby Brown. That's why he's not sleeping. He's like, oh, yeah. Wait, what were we talking about again yesterday? I have not slept overnight.

I haven't slept if you know what I mean. Oh, yeah, it's a thing. What was that thing again? Not an orgy I was in. No. No, no, it certainly wasn't that. Because one of the reasons they're not sure what to do is that, like, this is a very small community.

They all know each other. The kids all go to school together and stuff, so they're like, I don't know, who do we tell about this? What's the problem? He decided, the boss, that they should tell the local sheriff, Steve Wilson, what Cook had seen. So, they went to the sheriff and told him and thought he would investigate the complaint. Except he didn't.

He decided straight away to ignore their report. Straight away. I love that. Well, I won't be giving this any thought. Yeah. I think you got it. I just put it straight in the shredder. Why?

This is why they ended up going to the EPA. When you can't get your local sheriff on board, you've got to go over his head to the Environmental Protection Agency. He thought it was a regulatory issue and not his problem, basically. He later said, if somebody tells me they saw bodies at the crematory, that's what a crematory is, a place for bodies. That's what, I mean, he sort of understands that as well, but the extra details of rotting corpses in piles might make you pause to thought.

We can see their bones. They should never see their bones. No, they should be cremated by bone-bearing stage. Yeah, but it sounds like, did he then spit some chewing tobacco into a spittoon? That kind of operator. Yeah. I'm not getting up from my desk for this. I feel like he didn't do much, this guy.

Meanwhile, gas man Gerald Cook had continued his deliveries and he avoided tri-state crematory for 12 months. Another new employee had made the next deliveries, but in October 2001, Cook saw the address back on his delivery route. He was freaked out but assumed that Sheriff Wilson had dealt with the manor. He thought everything should be fine now. So Cook arrived at the property and again Brent Marsh was nowhere to be seen. No worry, Cook wasn't there for small talk anyway.

He wanted to get in, fill the tank and get out. And now he at least knows where the tank is. He doesn't have to go and see the body. Yes. From Cone's third article on this part of the story, while waiting for the tank to fill, Cook noticed a green John Deere backhoe. Another word for like a digger. About 20 feet away that was similar to one he had,

so he walked over to give it a closer look. Just as before, Cook was suddenly aghast. A few feet from the backhoe, leaning up against another pile of debris, a body lay out in the open, fully exposed to anyone who looked in that direction. Unbelievably, Cook was reliving his nightmare of a year before. Why the fuck did he walk over to have a look at a digger? I wouldn't.

Have you not learnt from having a wander and looking around this place? And now I definitely understand why his mate didn't want to do this job anymore. And that's why he's stuck with it. Ah, yeah. And he's just seeing bodies. Yeah. But he had a look and he couldn't get it out of his mind.

So nothing the sheriff and so much time is going to buy. They thought the sheriff was doing something about it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they thought the sheriff would drop by. He didn't. He just didn't give a fuck. We'll leave it with you, sheriff. Yeah, yeah.

But they didn't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can hear the shredder going on in the background he hasn't been there nearly a year and he saw it's gotta be so no one else has made any complaints surely the sheriff sorted it out it was a one-off thing and he went there and went no there's a body we're a small tight-knit community i probably wouldn't have heard about it being sorted out would it just happened yes yeah again the waves of nausea rolled Cook. His only thought was to flee as fast as he could. He wanted to leave that instant and go to tell someone, but he couldn't, not yet. Instead of fleeing, when he saw Marsh exit the small building,

he turned his back to the horrid sight, walked nonchalantly back to the propane tank, and stood there anxiously waiting for the tank to fill and despising that terrible place. So Marsh has come back out and he's like, fuck, I've got to play it cool again. Marsh walked over to him, towering over Cook, who was only five foot six.

Marsh, remember, was a successful linebacker for the gridiron teams. He's a very big guy. From Curran once again, with Marsh towering over him, Cook steadily looked in the opposite direction of where the corpse lay. He's like, all right, I won't look over there because there's the corpse.

I'll look over here. But he saw a blue tarp 30 feet away, stretched over the ground in the woods. Marsh noticed that Cook had seen the tarp and volunteered the information that they had septic tank problems and had been forced to dig it up. Cook knew Marsh's statement was a lie. He knew that a tarp sags when it covers a pit. I love that. He's a real pit expert. And this tarp was tight. He also knew that when you dig a hole for a septic tank, the dirt must go somewhere, and there were no fresh dirt piles anywhere nearby.

Nice try. Yeah. Marsh, if that is your real name. But I'm a ditch expert. Cook thought the tarp was hiding something, but he had no desire to see what that something might be because he suspected it would only deepen his already growing nightmare. But I really hope he called him out on it.

I think you'd find that if that's over a ditch, then it'll sag in the middle. So I don't want to know what's in there, but don't lie to me. The fuck is the point of lying to me? Just ignore it. Don't say anything. God, Marsh. You're a waste of my time.

I want to fill this tank. I want to get out of here. With the delivery finished and trying desperately to hide his suspicions and fears, Cook disconnected the hose and dragged it back to the idling truck, all the while taking great care not to look in the direction of the decomposing corpse. He's like, don't look at the corpse. Don't look at the corpse.

Don't look at the corpse. It feels like any way he looks, he's going to say something fucked. Yeah. I think the best way to not seem like you're suspicious is to desperately try not to be, which is what the strategy he's going for. Just play it really uncool. Really play it uncool.

Yeah. Do you want to play it very anxious? Hello. Hello. Yeah, me again. No, we're still standing next to each other just checking in i'm having a heart attack don't put me in the ditch and this whole time marsh watched his every move he said so he was like he felt the pressure when you say somebody's watching your every move in this sort of instance all you're doing is filling up the tank

and he's watching you do that. Know what I mean? He's not following you around for a whole day. We had a conversation and he gave me eye contact nearly the whole time. Watching every move. Watching every word I said. In some ways, Dave, I'm watching your every move right now. What?

Look away, you perv. Okay. I'll stop moving in that way that looks a little suspicious, Dave, if you don't want us to be getting attention from it. What are you doing with that corpse anyway? Nothing. What's that hacksaw in your hand, young man? Corpse saw?

I mean, I've said too much. I'm digging a ditch in the studio. Don't worry, we haven't noticed anything. Digging a ditch from the top story. Perfect. Foolproof plan. So he got out of there as quick as he could again. He drove away as incomplete shock.

Sheriff Wilson had clearly not dealt with the problem. Cook decided he needed to seek help elsewhere. So he reached out to the only person he could think of, his aunt, Faye Deal. Oh, my God. She sounds like she gets things done. Faye Deal gets results. Faye Deal or no deal.

That's her catchphrase after she solves another case. Ah, Faye Deal or no deal. What do you mean, Aunty Faye? Who are you talking to? At the shops, like, bartering with everything. Small chips? All right, that'll be $3.50. All right, Faye deal.

Yeah, that's a Faino deal, I'm afraid. I've only got $3. So, Faye deal was the information management assistant with the FBI's office in Rossville. He hoped she might have an idea of what he should do or who he could reach out to because she's not an FBI agent, but she works with a lot of them. Yeah.

So he thought Faye Deal might know. She's a masseuse for FBI agents. She'd know a thing or two. Could you whisper something into one of the agency as well? I'll just ask a question during their soothing relaxation massage. So he called her, and Fayeiel took her nephew's report very seriously and after a good long think she decided that if nothing else bodies out in the open are an environmental health concern. So she called the EPA's regional office in Atlanta. The EPA is another federal agency responsible for the

protection of human health and the environment. Dead bodies are potential carriers of disease and must be disposed of properly, so at the very least come under their jurisdiction. Oh, yeah. So she just saw us a way in. A way in because it's like no one else is taking this seriously. Well, the EPA.

They're probably bored. Yeah, they've got a lot less. This is probably sexy and exciting. The environment's going so well. They don't have a lot of work at the moment. There's a lot of redundancies because they're so good at their job. Yeah, the environment's actually the best it's ever been and the future's looking real good.

That's why, yeah, that's why we're putting still so much money into military and that sort of stuff because of all the war that's going on. But in terms of the environment, we haven't had to spend anything on it because it's just cruising. It's just doing so well on its own. We're in whatever the peacetime equivalent is for environment. Yeah. What is that equivalent again, Dave?

Utopia. Yeah. We're in Utopia times. We're in Utopia times. Yes. Beautiful. God, we're so lucky. Aren't we lucky?

Can't wait for my great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandchildren to enjoy this Utopia. Oh, my God. And they will. Everything will be all right. It's great. It's fucked. Love a little more ocean. That's good.

Yeah. Surf's up. I love the ocean. I love the sea. Yeah, yeah. Less water for everyone. Love it. More environment, if you think about it in another way.

Seas rising. That's just more environment for us to enjoy. More outdoors. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice. There's certain nations that would disagree. Antarctica?

Yeah. I think there's a few island nations probably. We're an island. Yeah. Look, to be honest, everyone should disagree. Yeah. Some probably would some with more than others more urgency anyway nice little riff there about the state of the

environment to just sort of cleanse the palate a little bit to now let's get back into dead bodies out in the open fay deal spoke with epa investigator frank garcia but she didn't want to give him any names her nephew's children went to school with the marsh family's children and deal didn't want to give him any names. Her nephew's children went to school with the Marsh family's children and Deal didn't want any backlash from the report. In order to protect her nephew's identity, she made the call anonymously and told Garcia that human remains had been found lying around at Tri-State. But again...

Frank Garcia is such a rock-solid name. Yep. Big fan of Frank Garcia. I just feel like this guy gets results, much like I thought Faye Deal did as well Well, Frank's good Garcia's good Put them together, double good

Yeah, it doesn't always work out that way No, it doesn't Exactly, in this case they've very much cancelled each other out Oh no, is he Frank the dud, Garcia? She felt her call wasn't being taken seriously And was being treated as a joke So she asked Garcia on the other end of the phone What if I told you I was walking my dog And the dog found a human bone What would you do? wasn't being taken seriously and was being treated as a joke. So she asked Garcia on the other end of the phone,

what if I told you I was walking my dog and the dog found a human bone? What would you do? He said he would investigate. So Faye Deal made another call. She hung up on him. She made another call to the Walker County Sheriff's Department. She reported that her dog had been spotted with a human bone. So Sheriff Wilson, the man who had refused to investigate before,

was sent out to Tri-State to look into it. So it turns out when you say, I saw a bunch of bones, he goes, whatever. But if you say, my dog had a bone, he runs to the car. Isn't that funny? A dog. Oh, I can see a dog. Isn't that strange? But it sounds like Faye Deal is getting it done.

Yeah. Which sounds like, I love how she's named and shamed Frank Garcia. Just a guy who's on the phone, possibly has nothing more to do with the story, but we all know that he fucked up. Yeah. Garcia, he laughed at it. Sleep at the wheel. I can't believe that. Sort of saying, like, I know it's a crematorium,

but there's decomposing bodies everywhere. And he's like- What? Yeah. Bodies at a crematorium? Yeah. Okay. Next you're going to tell me there's ice cream at an ice crematorium.

Stop wasting my time, lady. I've got a crossword to finish. You saw dead bodies at a murderer's house? Where else would you see dead bodies? Yeah. Huh? Fucking hell. So Sheriff Wilson was sent out.

When he got there, he spoke to Brent Marsh's parents as their son was out of town at the time. That's Ray Marsh. Ray Marsh, who's sick but still alive at this point, and Clara Marsh. Clara Marsh. I hate it. Clara Marsh.

Clara Marsh. I love it. Clara Marsh. Clara Marsh. I love it. I like it. I want to know if the next generation is in on it. Are they the ones that started whatever's happening?

Or are they just too sick and old to notice? How do you not notice? There's fucking bodies everywhere. Well, when the sheriff told Brent Marsh's mother, Clara Marsh, about the report of a dog being seen with a human bone, Clara responded, that's impossible. Okay. How?

Based on what, Clara Marsh? She's like, we burn the bodies. How would there ever be a bone? That's a lie. It's a prank call. Sheriff Wilson had a brief look around after he left the Marsh house, but he saw that the gate to the crematorium and its surrounding area was locked and seeing nothing out of ordinary outside that area, he soon left.

God, he's a piece of shit. Again, the investigation was over before it had really begun. And so he called ahead to sort of warn her that he was coming to check as well. So she had a chance to lock up because everything was out in the open when the gas man came by. Yes, but it's because it's a 16-acre property. I think he's gone up to the house, which is presumably a bit further away. This all started because that guy, Cook, didn't know his way to a front door.

For the cop, he knew obviously where to go. But Cook's coming there, going, I don't know, way to a front door. That was clearly, like, for the cop, he knew obviously where to go. But Cook's coming in, going, I don't know where the hell to go. The driveway goes right up to this building. I'm going to go off on this dirt track to where all the bodies are. Well, he's going to the crematorium. He's not going to the house. Yeah, and he's trying to find it. And there's a bunch of buildings.

It's a sprawling property, and there's just shit everywhere. I have no idea what's going on. Unless it's just the guy's going, I can't be bothered. I'm going to take the payment for burning the bodies. I'm just going to chuck them on the pile. And he's saving like a little bit of money, gas. But he's still feeling the gas. Still feeling the gas.

What's going on? And all the while, Cook, the delivery driver, had to continue to deliver gas to Tri-States. Why? Why? Still feeling the gas. What's going on? And all the while, Cook, the delivery driver, had to continue to deliver gas to Tri-States. Why? Why? If they're not burning the bodies, what's happening? No, no, no.

I'm not worried about how quickly they're using gas. I'm more like- They've got a broken heater. They must have a broken heater. What fucking boss is making you keep going back to a place where every fucking time you just see a pile of dead rotting bodies a job's a job exactly you know who does that sir humps a lot bobby brown whatever his song that's no you're thinking of you're thinking of sir mix a lot bobby brown ain't nobody humping around which is apparently called humping around and it was uh changed to humping around to be

radio friendly initially it was effing around oh my god whoa and i'm sorry for using such language on the pod it's um there's a lady present sorry about that dave bit of fun um that's actually not okay jess what do you mean i'm not sure but I'm just trying to say the right thing as a feminist. And as the only feminist on this podcast, I think it's important to stand up. As a feminist. And say, up, up, up, up. As a feminist, it's important to tell women off. Yes.

Oh, my God. Is this getting through or not? No. It's like you've got rocks in your head, mate. No, I just have a tiny little brain. Yeah. So maybe pipe down and listen uh okay great so you're absolutely right to be like why do you have to keep going back but the

boss keeps sending him back no say we were not servicing that fucking we're not we will not send you gas or just say how about boss how about you this one? If it's so important we get it done. Yeah, you do it. You do it. That's a good leader. Yeah. I think that part of it is he's worried that Ray will know that he dobbed. Yeah.

Because it's this tiny community, all the kids go to school together, whatever. He doesn't really want to cause trouble, especially with a guy that he's like, I don't know what he's doing with his bodies. Yeah. I don't want to piss him off. I don't want to be one of those bodies. So Cookie's playing it cool cool he's still delivering he was back on december 3rd 2001

when he noticed something new and unusual not a dead body this time but thick black smoke coming from the crematory when he thought about it this was the only time he'd ever seen the crematory in use he's like huh that's weird now maybe that's what he's doing. He's just saving them all up for a year for efficiency. Doing a big burn. Bonfire. Once a year. Like, people come in every day. Here's Nana.

Can you give us her in a box? Yeah, but come back in 12 months. Yeah. That's a long time. Yeah, sort of backed up a bit. Doing a burn off. But he just does it and then... Or he could just have all the...

So, he just has boxes all the ashes up once a year and just goes, yeah, come back tomorrow. And he gives something from the batch from the year before. How are they going to find out? Oh, Dave, have I got it? Have I got it, Dave? Is he doing one big burn a year? And he's given last year's burn ashes to the people who come through.

He goes, come back on the 4th of July. Big bonfire. It'll be great. Dave, I've either guessed it or I have no idea what's going on, or somewhere in between. Some fucked up stuff is happening here, I've got to tell you that. Oh, God. Two weeks later, Cook had to make another delivery, and every time he came back, he was more and more paranoid.

He usually made his deliveries first thing in the morning to get the weird place out of the way, but on the 18th of December, Brent Marsh called the company and specifically asked what time Cook was going to make his delivery. Oh, no, I don't like that. He was worried that Marsh had worked out he was the one who'd reported him, had the sheriff come round, and he's like, why does he want to know what time I'm going to be there? Is he waiting for me?

Is he going to hurt me? But it's very possibly because he was heading out and he just needed to know so he could work his day around it. But it sounds super sinister. He's like, oh, my God, why does he want to know what I'm doing? And he's also said, meet me at midnight after the crow quarks three times. What's a crow quark sound like? Oh, if I heard that three times at midnight, I'd be shitting my dicks.

Well, I'd be going, all right, must be time to load up the tanker. I'd be shitting my dicks. I'd be packing my dicks. Oh, I hate this. And by that, Dave, I mean I'm loving it. You're doing a fantastic job. But this is creepy as hell. I'm on the edge of my seat.

It's creepy as all hell. When I was reading the story, I was like, oh, my dear God. I'm giving myself a little hug. Oh, you are? You're doing a bit of self-care? And this is in the year 2000. 2001. Oh, maybe.

I don't know what's happened. 2011. The millennial bug has stuffed up the crematorium's computer system. Yes, the fire. And all the bodies are backing up and he doesn't know what to do. He's trying to hack the mainframe. He had to drop out of college. He didn't learn this.

He's like, what do I do? What do I do? But he's trying to play it cool because he doesn't want to embarrass himself that he's running the family business into the ground. I was the only one in the world that the millennium bug affected. It's embarrassing. It is embarrassing. It's hard to tell people.

Yeah. It's trying to burn bodies like it's 9-0-1, but it's not. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from the earth or we can demand more from

ourselves at york university we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow join us at yorku.ca write the future so he's worried that marsh is going to be there waiting for him he's freaking out the delivery ended up going off without a hitch but cook had had enough he called his aunt faye deal and begged her to help him again but she was running out of ideas she tried the epa she tried the sheriff both of them had basically said whatever it's a joke a couple of months went by and on valentine's day 2002 deal was working at the the FBI office when a special agent from the EPA's Criminal Investigation Division came in.

Whoa. It was a man named Robin Hedden. Robin Hedden. Robin Hedden. Robin Hedden. I don't know if that's the right name. If your surname's Hedden, don't call your kid Robin. Robin Hedden.

Robin Hedden. Robbie Hedden? That works. Robbie Hedden. Rob Hedden, don't call your kid Robin. Robin Hedden. Robin Hedden. Robbie Hedden. That works. Robbie Hedden. Rob Hedden. Rob Hedden. Fantastic. Robin Hedden.

Robbie Hedden sounds like someone wrapping up the night. All right. Robbie Hedden. Catch you around. Y'all want a bong? What was her name again? Yannico. Yannico.

Yannico. Yannico. Oh, gosh. Is that going to play to- Y'all want a bong. Do you think that's going to play to Americans? Because they- Yarn-a, like, you wanna.

Wanna. Do you want a- It's- Yeah. Because sometimes they're like, I don't understand what you're saying. Well, they don't understand Craig and Craig, so. Have you seen that recently? They can't-

They can't hear the difference. They sound like the same words to them. Craig and Craig. We have had people contact us since we had the Craig controversy saying that when we say Craig followed by Craig, Craig, Craig, they can't hear the difference, which is so funny to us. But I think it's like how we can't hear us saying no. When we say no, they hear no. There's an R in there. That's so funny. That's true. No. When we say no, they hear no.

No. There's an R in there. What? That's so funny. That's true. No. It's beautiful. Language is beautiful.

I love it. I love culture. Okay. Well, no Craigs, no Craigs here. We're talking about- Robin Hedden. Robin Hedden. Robbie Hedden.

Robin Hedden. Craig Hedden. Oh, my God. That's a sick name. Craig Hedden. Craig B. Hedden. All right, Craig. Have a good night.

All right. Craig Barry Hedden. Okay. Craig B. Hdon. Alright, Craig. Have a good night. Craig Barry Haddon. Okay, Craig B. Haddon. Alright, Robin Haddon. And even though they had no existing relationship, Faye Deal identified him as a man that could help her actually do something. He seemed like a go-getter to her. She got his phone number from a colleague

and rang him. He didn't answer, but she blew it. And it's over. And that was that. She tried. The story ends here. She left a message. He didn't respond.

So what else could she do? Another agent. She's throwing under the bus in the interview. He seemed like a real dick. So I ended up driving over. There were bodies everywhere. I'm arrested of the end. I'm safe.

No deal. She rang Robin Hedden. He didn't answer, but she blurted out a long and anonymous message on his answering machine describing everything that her nephew Cook had seen. She just went for it, just said everything. When Hedden got the message, unlike everyone before him, he took the report seriously. Ah, finally.

So the next morning, Robin Hedden and his EPA colleague, Larry Anderson, Hedden out to Atlanta, or out of Atlanta, and drove the 85 miles to Noble, one more time from Cone. They didn't tell anyone they were coming, and unlike criminal investigations with other agencies, they didn't need a search warrant to find out what they wanted to know so they can just turn up and start having a look around and it was robin hedden and larry anderson that made the truly horrifying discovery we're back at the start when investigators peeled back the doors of a maroon colored garage near the

front of the marsh property they weren't prepared for what they found inside. There were bodies everywhere. All over the place. According to the Times Free Press, they were stacked in vaults, tossed in buildings, thrown in holes and cast out into the woods. Some were still inside their coffins. Some had been lying out in the open for nearly five years.

What? Some looked as if they'd been dragged along and then just left where they lay, like their clothes were just bunched up, like they'd been dragged on the ground and then just ditched. A dilapidated hearse held the badly decomposed body of a man inside a casket. So, hearse still had a casket in it, still had a body in it. Yeah. They have not done many of the steps that they should have done if the casket's still in the hearse.

What the fuck? They haven't even taken it out of the bag. They left the hearse there until it got dilapidated. This is wild. The bodies were found in every stage of decomposition. It was a true horror show. Look, I'm going to say it. I don't think their hearts are in the business.

No. Absolutely not. Walker County Sheriff Detective Walter Hensley described it as, it was like something out of a Stephen King novel. Every building you opened had more bodies. Within five days, Dr. Chris Sperry, George's chief medical examiner, told the media that 149 bodies had been discovered. They had discovered vaults of bodies. A large one was packed with about 40 and five smaller ones each had 20 corpses

in them. A portable morgue was set up to go through and catalogue the horror and according to Grunge, which has a great article on this, a team of nearly two dozen experts consisting of trained pathologists, doctors, nurses and other professionals was dispatched with the mobile morgue unit. They were the same team that had been on site to help identify victims at the World Trade Center in 2001. Shit. Yeah. And apparently, contrary to what you might have expected

or what I definitely expected, there was no real odor on the property until they opened the vaults, despite some bodies just literally lying out in the open. It didn't smell bad except for the ones that were inside these vaults. And they opened it up. It reeked. Because they were having compression sessions, whereas the other ones were out in the open. Yeah.

The scent just flutters off into the atmosphere. So what the heck was going on? Marsh hadn't killed these people. These were the bodies that he had been entrusted with to cremate and return to families, except he had not done that. He'd just dumped the bodies and left them to rot either in the vaults or just out in the open. Why?

It's so strange. It's like he's like just got away from him. He's like, oh, well, I didn't do the first you. My kind of theory was he's taken over the family business, but he doesn't really know how to use the- Too embarrassed to ask. Yeah, exactly. And then it just got away from him and he's like, oh, it's gone too far now.

I can't ask. I thought I'd work it out eventually. He can't turn on the fire. Because it makes no sense if they're just the bodies he was meant to- Yes. And if the families are meant to be getting the ashes- Yeah, what are they getting? Yeah, so families started to hear the reports,

and they were shocked, of course, but they were also confused. Many claimed they'd used tri-state services and that they'd been given the ashes of their loved ones. So what could this be? After many people handed in their relatives' ashes for testing, it turned out they'd been handed urns full of cement dust, dirt, and other substances, but not the remains of their relatives. They'd simply never been cremated.

So bizarre. You know how you can turn a relative's ashes into jewellery, like a gemstone or something? What if you'd done that and it's just cement dust? Or what if you'd gotten the – sometimes people use the ashes and get a tattoo with those ashes. Sometimes I mix it up with Coke and snort it. Yeah, what if you'd done any of those things?

I've been snorting cement dust. This is embarrassing. Isn't that what like maybe Keef from the Stones did or something? Maybe. It does feel very rock and roll. It's pretty rock and roll, eh? Have a bit of this concrete powder, snort it and harden the fuck up. Yeah.

Oh, my God. This is wild. It is so wild. In fact, neighbours of Tri-State told authorities they hadn't seen smoke come from the crematorium in years. So, in the time that the sun has taken over? Yeah. How long has he had the biz now? I think he took over in about

96. Yeah, right. 2002. Yeah, a while. Yeah, Keith Richards snorted his dad with coke. Nice. Actually pretty sick. A beautiful tribute. His dad loved to snort coke. And he drank his mum with coke too. Her favourite drink.

No sugar. Sorry, he drank coke with his mum They just shared a glass of coke one time It was very nice So yeah there was one time The black smoke was billowing out What was happening then And what is all this propane being used for Great question

I don't know what's happened with the gas Oh that's unknown Not sure about the gas That is so strange Because they're obviously going through a bit of it. He's having a comment. Or he's just keeping up appearances and just opening the gas can. Yeah, letting it out for every couple of weeks.

What the fuck? Why not just spark up the oven or whatever it's called, the crematory? That's probably not it. And just let the smoke, like, or why not just do your job? Yes. Good question. He goes through the whole thing of like burning. He starts burning logs and stuff just to make it look like it's smoking.

Just burn the body. Just burn the body. Just do your job. I don't get it. Just loading in blow-up dolls. Hey, come on. This is a lot easier if you just do the job. I haven't seen smoke from the crematorium,

but I have heard a lot of popping. Just the blow-up dolls are bursting. What if it turns out like he's got no problem with dead bodies but he's scared of ash yes oh wrong biz i don't like touching the ash oh my god it's easier if i just use cement dust that's fine that's fine i'm okay with that the forklift thing is that because they did fall behind on there that was his dad that was the dad like when they were kids so kids. So that was the legit- Didn't necessarily have anything to do with it. No.

Yeah, no, it was just a creepy memory. It was just a big body. Yeah, that made Cook, like, sort of freak out. Right. And he was, oh, I've got to go to that place. And then he was the one that discovered it all. And because of the small community of this area, the man in charge, Brent Marsh, knew a lot of his clients and their families.

One such man was Tim Mason, whose father, Luther, had died in 2001. Mason was a friend of Marsh, and Marsh had assured him and his wife, Neva, that he would take good care of his father and return his remains. This was not true for Tim or hundreds of other relatives in the area. What the fuck? Families from across Alabama, southern Georgia, and across Tennessee came forward to demand answers.

It became a media storm across the state, then the United States, as reporters descended on the small town reporting on the outrageous and gruesome story. John Bankhead with the Georgia Bureau of Investigation said, it was probably one of the biggest news stories in the history of Georgia. To this day, if you Google Noble, this is the number one story that comes up, which I'm sure the Noble Tourism Board

isn't wrapped with, Yeah, you love that. This comes up. It's good to be on the map for a reason. You meet new people and you're like, oh, I'm from Noble. And they're like, Noble, what's that? And you'd have to be like, crematorium. Noble prizes? No, no, no.

What am I thinking now? Something else. Trent Noble, the old St Kilda Ruckman? No, no, no. No, it's not it. I don't know what a Ruckman is. Over the days and weeks, eventually at least 334 bodies were discovered. Whoa, they kept finding, because initially they had 149.

Yeah, that was in the first five days, and they just kept finding more and more. Yeah, because remember some of them were like out sort of in the woods. That's right, in the pit. What's he doing? What the fuck? There's no system at all. He's just kind of lying there. There's no cataloguing. This is a nightmare. What if you want to find one of them again? Why is he dragging some of them out there. What? There's no system at all. He's just going to lie there. There's no catalogue.

This is a nightmare. What if you want to find one of them again? Why is he dragging some of them out there? There's so much space. You're leaving some just wherever they lie. You've left one in its coffin in the hearse. I'm starting to think this guy's not quite right, or at least he's not well trained.

Yeah, his dad will be very disappointed, I think. Authorities had to admit that no one knows the total body count because so many were never accounted for and were so badly decomposed they couldn't be identified. So, it's possibly more. Only about two-thirds of the 334 could be positively identified, adding to the heartbreak of locals whose loved ones had been supposedly cremated.

You make your peace. You've said goodbye. You've got this special spot on the mantelpiece. Or maybe you've had like a spreading ceremony, going out to the beach or something. Totally. And then now you've got just putting that in your mind. Yeah.

And some of them. Nana has been. You know, it's five years later. You've said goodbye five years ago and then they're like, oh, no, that wasn't. Open up that wound again. Yeah. It's almost like a victimless crime because they're all dead, but it isn't at all.

Yeah. No, it's like hundreds of people are affected. Authorities moved to arrest Brent Marsh, but one big problem law enforcement had was trying to work out what crime had been committed. It was obviously an outrageous discovery, but when they went to arrest Brent Marsh, they found themselves asking, what's the charge?

Eating a meal. It's got to be some version of fraud, right? Yeah. Well, they were left scratching their heads because there had been no murders. The people were already dead, like you said, and they were given his care, and desecration of a corpse wasn't a felony in Georgia at the time. They were like, this is fucked, but what do we do? And they decided to go for him Al Capone style,

you know how he was technically taken down for tax evasion, while prosecutors decided Brent could be held financially responsible for taking money and not fulfilling the contract and not returning the bodies. So first he was charged with five counts of theft by deception. But according to the Times Free Press, as the bodies piled up and prosecutors researched the laws, the count grew to 787 felony charges, 170 counts of abuse of a corpse, 439 counts of theft, 122 counts of burial service fraud, and 47 counts of making false statements. Now, this is a side note. A couple of weeks back, we weren't sure what a felony is.

Well, felony meaning a crime regarded in the US and many other judicial systems as more serious than a misdemeanor. But Australia is a common law country. In Australia, the distinction between felony and misdemeanor has been abolished back in 1900. The original distinction has been replaced with a serious or minor indictable offence. Right, okay.

So it's a serious offence and he's got 787 charges. It's interesting because there's no middle ground there, serious or minor. Yeah. What about a mid-range one? Like what? The law is an arse. It's black and white.

Good point. The law is an arse. Yeah, but that don't teach it. And the arse is a law. The arse is law, maybe? Hmm. Something to ponder. People were understandably furious.

Walker County Chief Deputy Mike Freeman said that the outrage seemed worse than if Brent Marsh had actually killed their family members. Wow. The outrage was- Well, just the complete disrespect. I would disagree with that, but I feel like it would be worse that he- but it is, yeah. I just don't- there's something has to have been going on there.

You know, like, you know people who- it's the equivalent of a paper boy throwing the newspapers into the skip. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's just like that's- it seems like that's the mentality. Yeah. Like, he's just going, I'm getting paid and I can just fake it.

But you're not thinking about, like, how his responsibility is bigger than getting the local newspaper out. Yeah. Which is a big responsibility in itself. Of course. I used to do it. I'm a Robin Standard. How else were you? I did two different routes on the same day.

Got paid about $12 a week. Whoa. For two routes. It was incredible that they were allowed to do that. By today's money, that's about $14,000 a week. Yes. You were loaded. It was a lucrative business. Did you have to fold them yourself?

Yeah. Honestly, it worked out to be like $1.50 an hour. It's not good. Unbelievable that it was allowed to take advantage of the kids who were, I was 12 or whatever. Here I was thinking the printing press wasn't invented when you were 12. Yeah. Oh, no, they were all individually written pamphlets.

Typed them up. Screaming in crowds lined the streets and at court hearings, Brent Marsh had to wear bulletproof armour as was the perceived risk of assassination. Wow. That's how hated he was the perceived risk of assassination. Wow. That's how hated he was. People were so angry. They were fuming.

It is a despicable thing to do. It is. It's awful. It's awful. But, yeah, there's like we're missing some information here. Yeah. I want to know his reasoning. And if the parents knew.

Yeah. And if they didn't, how did they not know? Well, yeah, such a big property and if they're poorly, they're not getting around. And he's like, everything's fine, guys. Business is good. We haven't seen any smoke coming out the chimney. Oh, yeah.

I found a new way to do it. Yeah. Yeah, I dumped them in the woods. I mean, oh, dear. Smoke free. In the end, Brent was offered a deal and took it, and he was sentenced to 12 years jail and 75 years on probation. Sorry, was he offered a Faye deal?

Yeah. No Faye deal. 12 years in prison, and then the rest of his years on probation. Sorry, was he offered a pay deal? Yeah. No pay deal. 12 years in prison and then the rest of his life on probation. Yeah, basically. They made sure that his whole life he'd be on probation. Apparently, his case had so many charges, they were concerned if it fully went to trial, it could take years and cost millions of dollars. Wow.

So, they were pretty keen to make a deal and so was he because he didn't want to go to jail forever, which he easily could have with 700 charges. Yeah. When the sentence was handed down, Marsh said, I will not cry when I go into my jail cell. I will not whimper. I will accept my punishment. I will do my time.

Okay. Did he explain? We'll get to that. Oh, thank God because this is feeling very, you know, like a scratch you can't itch. It's like this makes no sense. Yeah, why would someone do this? That's just the sexual tension in this room.

Yeah. Is what you're describing there, and I'd prefer you don't bring it up on the podcast. Okay, sorry. That's an unspoken tension. I prefer you don't refer to me as a scratch you can't itch. Let me itch you, if you know what I mean. All in all, it did cost a pretty penny.

State and local governments spent nearly $10 million on cleanup and recovery. Because, you know, there were bodies fucking everywhere. Over 300 bodies. And even more was paid out in restitution to the loved ones whose bodies had been ill-treated. Again, from the Times Free Press. More than $100 million was paid out in federal class action lawsuits against Marsh and the funeral homes that had sent bodies to the crematory. Oh, so the funeral homes are having to cop it as well,

but it's not their fault at all. They didn't. And there's, like, no other fucking crematory they can send it to. And they're like, I imagine they're like, well, if I'd known, why would we keep sending bodies to them? We didn't know. That sucks. And no one like, I imagine they're like, well, if I'd known, why would we keep sending bodies? We didn't know. That sucks. And no one knows the exact number of families affected,

but attorneys in lawsuits estimated the count at nearly 2,000 people were directly affected. Yeah. I assume they think that that was like part of their responsibility to know that it was the job was being done properly, but it feels like the kind of thing you wouldn't be, you might go out there maybe. Would you?

I don't know, yeah. And the whole point of his dad starting this business was a gap in the market. There was nobody else around. And so why would a funeral home travel interstate just to check up on a crematorium? Hey, just checking you burnt that body. And then he hands you the urn and you go,

okay, I guess how else am I meant to know? It's just the strangest thing because the way he could have got away with it would have been by burning the evidence, which would have also been him doing his job. Yeah. It just makes no sense. It makes no sense. I don't get it.

He has what every criminal dreams of, a burning machine. It burns a body. Yeah, if you want to do some weird shit, you can do whatever you like. Just fucking burn it. It's so strange. I just don't understand. Me too. Oh, it's so spooky.

It is spooky. Part of Marsh's sentence was writing letters to the families of all who were not laid to rest. He wrote to the families, I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that you will one day be able to forgive me for my failure to properly perform my duties again according to local three news marsh bedded himself in prison by earning multiple

degrees because this guy's he was like the straight a student straight he's a hustler he's the incredible magazine rambler he's the penthouse magazine athlete of the year they said it was a weird thing to do, but they named him The Scandal. I don't want a letter from him if I'm one of the families. Yeah. Especially if it seems like it's pretty hollow. It's also written in blood. Yeah.

Oh, come on. This is weird. Yeah, I don't want this from you. I'm not feeling sorry for you. No. Fuck you. That's all I'd be saying. Yeah, I don't want this from you. I'm not feeling sorry for you. No. Fuck you. That's all I'd be saying. Yeah.

If anything, they should be allowed five minutes with him so they can say fuck you over and over. Maybe give him a little uppercut. Maybe burn him. Hey? Hey, how about that? Sorry, Dave. No, that would be taking it too far.

That's too far. But the uppercut is fine. Well, yeah, little one. Little one. Because, you know, if you get 350 of them. That's a lot for anybody. So I reckon, you know, maybe all 350 are in the room. Every family gets to pick one representative and they all get to stab him once.

No, that's too far. That's too far. That's. No, that's too far. That's too far. That's too far. That's too far. Hey, no wrong answers in a brainstorm. Hey, I'm just trying to figure out. Trying to find closure for the family. The scandal, as it's come to be known,

also had a great effect on the governance and regulation of crematories and even local laws. States passed stricter laws giving public officials greater access to the books of cremators to make sure they're doing what they say they're doing. Any crematory in Georgia now must have a license that is renewed every two years, and the facility must be inspected at least once a year, and a licensed director must also work on site. Apparently, it also really rocked the public's confidence in crematories too and afterwards people really started paying much more attention to the process fearful it could happen again they'd be like just just checking is that still and that's definitely my dad or them yeah i imagine um just full burials

probably got more popular for a bit apparently so in this part of the world, in the south, the cremation rate was pretty low. It was only about 10% or something. Then it got up to 15%. But things like this, I reckon, have really brought a problem back down. People go, I don't trust it. Grave diggers were suddenly in demand. Is this a conspiracy? No.

That's one other thing about the marsh business. You didn't need to dig a grave. You just had to walk in the woods a bit. Yeah. And maybe not even. Just shove a body down. Yeah. Put them in a vault.

Slam it all around. Shove a body down. Slam it all around. Shove a body down and a zig-a-zig-ah. This has been a weird episode. It's a funny feeling in the room. Yeah. It's the sexual chemistry.

Stop bringing it up. The state also passed a law to make it a crime to throw out a corpse, punishable by up to three years prison. Oh, three years prison. Which if that had happened to him, he would have been on the hook for over a thousand years prison. Right. So he was lucky he got in just in time.

No take backs. He got in before the laws. Thank goodness. The laws that were brought in because of him and the fucked thing he did. Jeez, that was a lucky coincidence. Skin in my teeth, I tell you what. A big question we're all wondering is why did Brent do it? Yes.

Please, some sort of resolution. Marsh himself said in court to families who gave testimony against him as well. Apparently, even though he'd said, I'll take a deal, part of it was you have to hear from the families. And for about eight hours, people got up there one after another. And they were all out in one knife. One knife and two fuck yous. Two fuck yous per family. I think that's very reasonable.

Yeah. All right. So the family has to have a meeting. Who wants the fuck yous? Who wants the knife? They're all fighting over the knife. Yeah. I want the knife.

I'll take a fuck you right okay if i give you the knife my whole family will give you five fuck yous i was an only child i get two fuck yous and a knife fuck you knife fuck you that felt good that's closure well so they had these victim impact statements that they read out a lot of them are asking why the fuck did you do that and he said i can't give you the answers that you want but i can apologize very quickly finances were ruled out as being the issue as it only cost about 25 dollars to run an incinerator in a crematory for two and a half to three hours and he was getting paid a lot more than that so they're like it's not like you couldn't afford to do it. Yeah.

So a few theories have been put forward over the years. Walker Sheriff Steve Wilson suggested that Marsh got behind on his work and that it possibly spiralled out of control. But it seems like he's just not burning anything. Yeah. You know, like, you can understand getting a bit behind. And then he's like, well, if I'm a bit behind, I may as well be forever behind. Yeah.

Is that what he's like? Is that the logic? Yeah bit behind, I may as well be forever behind. Yeah. Is that the logic? Yeah. How does it spiral out that much? 300. Get someone else on board to help you before, you know, surely. How long does it take? As you're walking through a field of rotting corpses, you might be like, ha, this isn't.

This isn't good. This isn't for me. And how long does it take to burn a body, you know? Surely you can get a few done in a day. Yeah, that's right. How do you get that far behind? Detective Michelle Brown speculated that perhaps he just didn't want to be involved with the family's business anymore.

He'd been plucked out of college, he had that big future ahead of him, and then he was dragged back to the family business that maybe he didn't want to be a part of. Stop taking people's business then. Imagine choosing to live amongst corpses rather than working in the family business. That'll show them. Or saying, hey, Dad, I think I'd like to sell the business. Yeah.

Or I'm going to shut the business down. I'll just let some corpses rot in our yard. This is a high-achieving guy. Everything he's done before he's done to the highest level and all of a sudden he really dropped the ball here. He did. To put it into- Sport terms that he can understand.

That he can understand. He goes on. Oh, shit. I didn't think of that. No one's put it in football terms before. Ken Poston, who was Marsh's defence attorney, put forward his explanation for his client's bizarre behavior. He said it was mercury poisoning.

Oh, my fucking God. This is the quote. Mercury is a naturally occurring element, but it is well established to be present in high concentrations in the cremation process due to the decades-old practice of mercury dental amalgam being used in patients who pass away and their bodies are subject to cremation. Basically, he's saying that the bodies had mercury in their teeth and fillings and standing next to the incinerator all day and breathing in toxic fumes that affected Brent's brain. His attorney, Poston, said, I believe that Ray Brent Marsh, while living and working at the crematory,

became a modern-day Mad Hatter. That's what he said. Was the Mad Hatter, he had mercury poisoning. That's why he, like, had those tea parties all day. Well, I think that used to be a phrase, mad as a hatter. I think people who would make those hats were exposed to mercury and then over time they would lose their minds. Yeah, there is a connection.

So it's not the Alice in Wonderland character was named after a real thing. Yes, but they are also quite loopy in the story yeah they had tea parties in the that podcast shit town s town thank you jess please language something about mercury poisoning and and mad hatter yeah interesting the mad hatter on gotham is so annoying he's an aussie actor i mean the actor's great and everything, but the dialogue written for him, everything is rhyming. It's the worst. Right.

Oh, that's annoying. It's so lame. And it's all like this basic childish sort of rhymes. And it's like, come on, you can't. This character's been on for three seasons. I can't take it anymore. I can't do it. Well, yeah, okay,

Mad Hatter disease is a form of chronic mercury poisoning. Mm. Right, and it says here, dates from the early 1800s, alludes to the exposure to the chemicals formerly used in making felt hats, which caused tremors and other nervous symptoms. Right, and they didn't realise mercury was bad news early on. So, there you go. So, he's an attorney saying that's what's possibly caused it, but this explanation, I must say, has been widely disputed.

Yeah, because that would... You'd think it would be more common. Yeah, exactly. In this business, why aren't other people doing strange things like this? Yeah. And how much mercury teeth were there still in the early 2000s? Yeah.

I mean, I have no idea. I guess maybe in the older people? I don't know. I thought all their teeth were wooden. The really old people? I'm thinking of. I thought all their teeth were wooden. The really old people. I'm thinking of trees. Trees, teeth, and wooden. Yeah.

You're always thinking of trees. I'm always thinking of the trees. That should be your first point of call before you open your mouth. Am I thinking of a tree? If the EPO are listening, the EPO, I'm always thinking of the trees, okay? I'm like you.

So don't look around my property, all right? There's nothing to see here, okay? In Noble, the crematory is now gone, but Marsh's mother continued to live on the big property. No word if she's still around, I'm not sure, but a few years ago she absolutely was. Brent Marsh served his full 12-year sentence and was released in June 2016.

He walked out with his attorney, Poston, the mad as a hatter guy, who told the media that his client was going home to Walker County in Georgia. Since then, Marsh has laid low and not given any further explanation for his bizarre behaviour. Because he was placed under 75 years of probation, he's probably under some sort of court supervision for the rest of his life.

Right. I think that's probably for the best, maybe. And is he allowed to leave Georgia? Because I would if I could, if I was him. Yeah. Yes, he absolutely could have because this is seven years ago now. And I imagine his community would be pretty happy for him to... But the probation doesn't mean he has to stay in the state?

Not that I know of. I'm not sure. Because it was a... Was it a federal... Were they federal crime? I don't know. Anyway. I think there was...

No, it was a mixture of state crimes. Because, yeah, potentially under the probation he needs to stay. Which would be bad if he's like, this community hates me. I don't want to be here. Yeah, because I imagine the community wouldn't want him there. Yeah. So why would... Unless...

Yeah, just... Whoa. Oh, it's so... Oh, it's so unsatisfying. Yeah. I know. Sorry that there's no explanation. Well, I feel like that's...

He's like, I can't offer an explanation. But give us whatever the explanation is. The families must be like going, tell us. Is it because you were just slack and you- Yeah. Could you just not be fucked or like, is this fun for you? What's the deal? Yeah, exactly.

If it was just like the incinerator was playing up for a couple of months and then I got too behind and it overwhelmed me. Yeah, and I know this isn't a real excuse, but that's the truth of what happened. Yeah, totally. I think that would be more satisfying than just like, I can't tell you. Then I'm assuming the absolute worst.

Then I'm assuming something really sinister and creepy, whereas if it's just like it got away from me and I was stuck in this spiral, I'm still really mad at you. But there's at least some closure totally a memorial for the unidentified remains because remember one third weren't positively identified was unveiled in the tennessee georgia memorial park marking the place where 133 bodies that couldn't be identified are at rest it reads may they and their families have everlasting peace and consolation. The crematory building and all other structures associated were torn down by 2005. Also, Brent's mother, Clara, signed part of the property where the crematory was

to become a trust, making sure what became the resting place of bodies for many years will never be developed. Oh, wow. So they have to keep that as open area. And if this sounds familiar to you and you didn't hear the news story at the time, the Tri-State Crematory scandal was used as the basis for a Law and Order criminal intent episode called Dead from Season 2 and also the CSI Miami episode Forced Entry from Season 1.

Oh. Season 1, wow. Yeah, early days. Interesting. Which wouldn't have been that long after this, only a few years. I thought you were going to say X-Files. Certainly not. Not yet.

There's got to be an explanation for this, Mulder. Yeah. No, he won't tell us what the explanation is. Finally, to finish, S.G. Pennington, who suggested this topic. Remember, they wrote a little thing. Yes, yeah, yeah. And basically, anyone can suggest a topic at any time at dogoonpod.com and you get to write why we should do the topic

and these little extra bits often jump out to us and make us sort of take note of it. Yeah. And also like keywords that I'll sometimes search, quirky. Yep. Weird. Hilarious. Baffling.

Amazing. Inept. Yep. Adventure. Bungled. Yeah. Definitely not boring. I search boring just to exclude them.

Eliminate them, yeah. So, S.G. Pennington wrote, this happened in the very small town where I grew up and is, of course, a local legend. Ironically, this happened across the street from the cemetery my aunt owns, in brackets, she's an odd lady. So, apparently, I was frolicking around dead bodies for part of my childhood.

Thank you, S.G. Pennington. And that was at a funeral, at a cemetery, and he had no idea there were dead bodies in the area. So, that's the end of the report on the Tri-State Crematory Scandal, which before last week, I'd never heard of, but when I started looking into it, I couldn't

stop reading. Yeah. That is fascinating. It's fascinating, it's disturbing, it's When I started looking into it, I couldn't stop reading. Yeah. That is. Fascinating. It's fascinating. It's disturbing. It's kind of unsatisfying at the end, like you say, but I'm glad the Patreon voted for it. I think that makes it a mystery topic. I think it is.

Why? Why? Why did this extremely bizarre thing happen? I guess there's some resolution in that, like, it was investigated and he was sent to prison and stuff. That's somewhat satisfying at least. But, yeah, I want to know why. I just don't know why he did it.

It doesn't seem like it was anything sinister. No, it just doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it doesn't. So strange. Amazing report, Dave. Well done. Thanks, everyone. And hopefully I didn't freak or creep anyone out too much.

Yeah, hopefully you weren't freak or creep anyone out too much. I feel like- Yeah, I hope you weren't listening late at night. I imagine that based on the topic's title, some people will probably skip it if they're not into such things. I reckon you go into it with your eyes open. A crematory- I don't know how to say that word. Crematory, you're saying. And is that the same as a crematorium?

Yeah, they're interchangeable. Yeah, crematorium or crematory. I feel like maybe here we say crematorium. Yeah, I'm thinking it seems like an American phrase, crematory. Because it feels not quite right for now. Crematory. Crematorium. Crematorium.

Well, that brings us to everyone's favourite section of the show, where we thank some of our fantastic Patreon supporters, the same people who voted for this week's topic in a landslide. Yeah, sometimes it's close, but this time people, I think the pitch was tri-state crematory scandal. What happens when the guy who owns a crematorium stops burning the bodies and just decides to keep them all? And then everyone was like, I've got to find out more. And look, fair enough.

And they'll be like, oh, the answer is, I don't know. Yeah, so satisfying. Oh, what happens? Yeah, we find out what happens to the bodies. Yeah, that's true. It's just awful. And yeah, in this section of the show, we thank a bunch of these fantastic supporters.

There's a few different levels you can get involved in and they all have varying sort of rewards or whatever you call them gifts oh yes our gift to you uh you pay for the your own gifts but still you know you can get three bonus episodes a month on a certain level or above you get to vote in for topics get to be in the nicest corner of the internet on our facebook group where it's like it gets lovelier by the week in there uh very supportive and lovely spot um but the first thing we like to do is is the fact quote or question section which has a little jingle i think go somewhere like this fact quote or question he always remembers the ding she always

remembers the sing and the way this bit works is people who've signed up on the sydney schoenberg level or above get to give us a fact, quote or a question. They also get to give themselves a title. And I don't read them out until I read them out. And that's just me giving myself an excuse for when I butcher some pronunciations or whatnot. Firstly this week,

the first timer in the fact, quote or question section, Daisy Mowles. Ooh, pronunciation guide. I've heard enough names butchered on here. Sorry, Matt. Mow as in mowing the lawn. Oh, I butchered it. Mow as in mowing the lawn and L's as in Ernie L's.

Oh, the big easy. Okay, so Mow-ells. Daisy Mowles, not Mowles, Mowles. Daisy Mowles. Mowles. And then Daisy says, can you tell I've had my name pronounced wrong all my life and I've had to correct people too many times? Yes.

Yes. Thank you very much, Daisy. Daisy's title is CEO of finding out what happened to the poo-go-on commenter on the YouTube channel. Oh, where are you, poo-go-on man? Someone used to do it on every episode, but they've stopped. I recognise the little avatar that they have

as their image as well, like, little face there. Where have you gone, Pugo? On every single YouTube video that we uploaded, they wrote Pugo on. I reckon on, like, a few hundred. Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah, it's all right. But they've moved on. They've pooved on.

They've pooved on. Oh, no. But Daisy suggests, and why is it definitely Gary J from the UK? Yeah. Funny that as soon as there's an episode on the don, he mysteriously stops commenting. Whoa. Coincidence?

I think not. Okay, we're throwing around some accusations. It's now fact, quote, or question, recipe, or accusation. Oh, wow. Oh, I don't mind that. And Daisy's asking a question, writing, Jesus, Daisy snuck in a bit extra into the title there. Daisy's question is,

Hi, guys, please help settle a family argument. Family. Family, la familia. I love my family. My brother recently went to Dublin and showed us a picture of him and his mates in which they were all drinking a Guinness with dinner. The family was aghast. Guinness with dinner?

That's like two meals. So the question is, what is your opinion on Guinness with dinner? Completely normal if you're in Dublin or completely psychotic, Dublin or not? I'd say completely normal. Yeah, normal. I think that's fine. That's fine. Would I personally choose to do. Yeah, normal. I think that's fine. It's fine. Would I personally choose to do it?

Probably not. But I don't see why you can't have a Guinness with dinner. Yeah, neither. I think that if you're a fan of Guinness, why not have it then? I personally don't really like Guinness, so I wouldn't have it with dinner. But if you like it, why not have it with dinner? Yeah, because I guess they say it's like a meal, but I mean- It's not.

It's not. It's still a drink. Yeah. So you can it's like a meal, but I mean- It's not. It's not. It's still a drink. Yeah. So you can have that with a meal. You could also have a light meal if you're worried about it all feeling a bit too heavy in the tum. Just get a small or a lighter meal. This is a rare moment, Daisy, where you've brought the three of us together here against

your family, the moles. Sorry to go head to head. Deep within the fortress of the moles. Yeah, within the fortress. I don't know if we can survive but um should one of us just change their mind just for the sake of survival yeah i guess so yeah okay um oh that's fucked you monsters an entire nation and i love very much you fools doing something so disgusting i feel sick sick. No, Dave, you can stay.

Me too. No. Mole for one and one for mole. Mole. I mean, come on. Thank you very much, Daisy Moles. It's like Craig and Craig for me. I'm sure they're different. The next one comes from Colin Wright. Okay. Prodigal son of fact, quote, or question finally returning.

It has been about 50 episodes since Colin was last in. And Colin is offering a suggestion writing. You guys talked about the song A Thousand Times by Big Blood. Yes. Which I really enjoyed. That was Jess's hot tip. Oh, yeah, that's right. A month or so ago.

Let's check the streams. It didn't have that many before, but has it gone off? While you're checking that, I'll continue on. It made me think I should recommend you guys one of my favourite bands of all time, which is a US-based husband-wife duo called Vocal Few. Their first EP is called She'll Be Right. It was named this because Matt, the husband songwriter, had been touring Australia with his incredible punk alt band,

The Classic Crime. Familiar with them, Dave? No, I like the name. He heard the phrase She'll Be Right a million times whenever there was a hiccup in soundcheck or anything with venues and it really resonated with him because he wasn't sure about the future of his band and was about to have his first kid with his wife christy they have a bunch of great albums and songs now but some of my favorite songs are mexico the road and simple Free. They also have a delightful Christmas album.

Cheers. That's great. I love it. 36,000 monthly listeners from vocal few. That's great. That's a solid listenership. One of their top rated songs had over 2 million. Yeah, right.

Whereabouts are they from? Is that Spotify? I'm on Spotify. Sorry, I mean the duo, Dave. Just a bit of fun there. That wasn't that much fun. Seattle. Seattle.

Cucamonga. Matt and Christy McDonald. Yeah, sick. Very cool. Checking in on Big Blood. 1,000 times has hit 12,500 streams. You are welcome, Big Blood. You're welcome. You are welcome.

They're like, why is this weird little influx? It's gone up by at least seven. It's probably just me. Probably just you just flogging blood. You're welcome. You're welcome. They're like, why is this weird little influx? It's gone up by at least seven. It's probably just me. Probably just you just flogging it. I love it. The next one comes from Thomas Doppelreiter, aka husband, and Thomas is asking a question.

Writing, as I'm married, and also for sure have fucked wink. Whoa! Whoa, Thomas! Sorry, humped. We put a brag in here. Yeah, this is a have fucked, wink. Whoa. Sorry, humped. Let's turn it down. Yeah, this is a radio-friendly brag.

As I'm married and also, for sure, have humped, wink. Wow. It still feels awful. But never in my life killed anyone, double wink. Oh, my God. Which is a lie. Is there a lie? FMK. Fuck, marry, kill.

Fuck, marry, kill. Great. Hump, marry, kill. Yes. For all that do go on topics of the past, I would marry Betty White, kill the Mothman, and hump a saxophone. He wrote fuck, but I was tidying it up a bit.

Fuck a saxophone? I was so focused on that. Okay. Poor, poor, poor. I would marry Dolly. I would kill hitler have we talked about hitler anywhere we haven't done a hitler topic no i'd kill ted bundy okay yeah i'd kill i'd kill one of the serial killers you could have ted bundy i'd get rid of like btk killer or something great um then we'd be like dexter because we're killers, but we're killing baddies. We're killer killers. Yeah.

And I would- I'd fuck the Mothman. I would fuck Ryan Gosling. Oh, good one. Okay, are we doing genuine ones? Well, am I locked in? Because I hope so because Mothman- Gets my moth running. Yeah.

I'm like, I'm a moth to his flame. Oh, yeah. There's something in there about moth balls. Yeah. Yeah, there is something, isn't there? Okay, Dave, we've answered. That's suck his moth balls. Suck his balls?

No, his moth balls. Yeah, his balls? No, his moth balls. Yeah, you have not fucked. So what's your answer, Dave? We've answered. No, what was your three, Matt? Who would you marry? I'd kill Ted Bundy and marry- Fuck the Mothman.

Standing by that. Or Bigfoot. Marry? I don't think I would want to marry Bigfoot, but I would fuck Bigfoot. I thought you were fucking the Mothman. Yeah, no. Are you just listing all the people you'd fuck?

Because we'd be here all day, you perv. It'll be quicker to list the ones I wouldn't. Ted Bundy. Dave, who would I marry, Dave? Who would you marry? What about the Don? Nah, he apparently is a bit of an arsehole. Ah, that's disappointing.

Okay. He's also dead. Okay. What about I would fuck the Lizard Man from Skateboard Swamp. He likes butter beans. Yeah. I'd probably marry Bruce Lee. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah. He's got a lot of energy, that guy. Yeah. Help around the house and things. Turns out that Lizard Man refers Help around the house and things. Turns out that Lizard Man refers to your balls as butter beans. I think you've got to know about me.

I love Dave's balls. I love Dave's butter beans. I love Dave's balls. Someone you've got to know lizard man Lizard man's got his own Rendezvous at the time Tell you what I love This guy's balls He's like the most uncomfortable person

To talk to in my life I'm happy you guys are happy But come on You're embarrassing me in front of my friends Look, I'm happy you guys are happy, but come on. I'm just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're embarrassing me in front of my friends. I'm talking about my balls. It's just our thing. I don't have to.

What about Rihanna? Would she be good to marry? Yeah. I'm trying to think of celebrity buyers buyers because dolly i think you've already taken dolly taken dolly i'd probably kill either river dance get fucked or grimace from mcdonald's oh yeah fuck you grimace what are you that's silly i'm trying to have a bit of fun here, everyone. Well, it's Princess Diana.

She's a... Which one are you going to say? Oh, I'll name Julie Andrews. I'll marry her. Great choice. Thank God. I thought you were killing someone there. All right.

No, I've already killed... He's already killed Bundy. I've already killed Bundy. Is Bundy already dead? I feel like I might have wasted my kill. Anyway, we've taken that way too seriously. I appreciate that question though, Thomas. And the

Mothman, if you're listening. Get in touch. Literally. Now, final one comes from Paul Mellor. Love your work, Paul. Paul, aka chief appreciator of podcasts, you can walk your dog too. Walk a dog too. Thank you very much, Paul.

Love Paul's. I've said this before, but I love Paul's photos that he posts when he goes out for a walk. He just lives in this beautiful spot, I think outside of Manchester, and Oldham probably, and the scenery is beautiful. Beautiful leaves. Always love to see it. Now, Paul is offering us a a quote we don't get quotes so

often not enough paul wrote uh wrote and writes hello guys i just wanted to say i really appreciated your podcast uh jess's one about charles kingsford smith i was feeling a little blue whilst walking my dog my brother and his family had left to go back home down near London. And so, as always, it was sad to say goodbye. Your pod was just so full of great facts, silly giggles, and a fantastic English slash Swiss slash Italian accent this week. I was laughing out loud. Sorry that I said Swiss instead of Swiss. Thanks for not bringing it up.

You brought me right around again, so thank you. Also, really looking forward to episode 400, which has already happened, of course, on livestream. This quote is for Matt to say in his newfound accent and was by Queen Victoria. Now, what was my newfound accent back then? Any memories of that? Your newfound accent? It would have been an English one. No, Charles Kingsford Smith.

Look, I'll just go with the accent that comes out. But it's by Queen Victoria. So I imagine it will be a pretty posh one. Okay. Although, as we know, the English accent was different in Queen Victoria's time. But... Right, Vince.

My call and calm. It is only truffles that irritate my nerves. Okay. That's what came out. I think you fucking nailed it. Great events make me quiet and calm. It is only trifles that irritate my nerves. I don't get it.

Great events make me quiet and calm. So, yeah, big things she loves. Yeah, okay. And she feels calm. Yep, in a crisis. She's an extrovert, I think is what she's saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hopefully, episode 400 will have the opposite effect

and have me roaring with laughter. I'm also not sure why a trifle irritated her so much. I think they're delicious. Hey, Paul, I'm also not sure why a trifle irritated her so much. I think they're delicious. Hey, Paul, I'm with you. My favorite dessert my mom classically makes, the trifle. Yeah. Freaking love them. My dad was a big trifle maker as well.

We used to have a trifle party. I have a trifle off. Anyway, I love your work, Paul. Thank you so much, Paul. Really appreciate- Thank you, Paul. Your work. Now, the next thing we'd like to do is thank a few of our other great supporters.

Jess, you normally have a little bit of a game based on the topic at hand. Yes, good luck with this one, Jess. I think it's something they've forgotten to do for a really long time. What have they been putting off for a long, long, long time? Yeah. All right, if I can kick us off, I'd love to thank, from Bassingstoke in Great Britain, it's Fraser Lamb. Fraser Lamb.

Fraser Lamb. Fraser Lamb has been putting off doing the tax. Hasn't paid tax since 2002. Whoa. And the English version or the British version of the ATO is up Fraser's ass. It's Fraser Lamb living on the lamb. Yeah. Oh, dear.

Yeah, it's not looking good. So, Fraser, just bite the bullet. Hey, maybe you've got some returns coming. Pay up. At least let's get- Get the ball rolling. Yeah, just get started. It feels like a big mountain now, but just start.

Don't do one every day. That's right. Do one tax return every day. Super easy. By the end of the month, you'll be tax free. Fraser Lamb. Great name. Great person.

Next up, I'd love to thank from Louisville, Kentucky in the United States, it's Jared Weber. Jared Weber has been putting off putting on new shoelaces on his shoes. Oh, they're nubs. They are nubs. They're falling apart. They're tattered rags. But it's gotten to the point where it's so bad now that he can't put his shoes on to go to the shoe shop

to buy new shoelaces. And this horrible cycle has him trapped inside. Wow. That must be so hard. Wait till the summer, Jarrod, and just barefoot it. Barefoot it. That's right. Barefoot.

I think that's our advice here. And thanks so much for writing in to Dear Davey, the advice corner of the show. Our next person we'd like to thank is from Address Unknown. Our next person we'd like to thank is from, oh, address unknown. Oh. We can only show him from deep within the fortress of the moles. Or Scotland.

Or Scotland. And this person's name, and thank you very much, to David Broughton. Now, what's David Broughton putting off, Bob? Collecting his mail. Oh, God. Oh, that would is stuck or not? Yeah. Is it in a mailbox or is it going through the door?

PO box maybe? Yeah, it's in a PO box, but that keeps filling up. So then the post office is like taking it all out and keeping it out of the back. Yeah, they're dragging it into the bushes and the forest. They're leaving it in fields. They're like sending him emails. They're calling him like, dude, you've got to come get the mail. Yeah, no, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming. But then somebody comes up and he's busy.

And in his mail is a lot of tax returns that are ready to be done. Yeah. And now he's really quite embarrassed to go pick him up because he'll have to, like, tell him his name. And he's going to be notorious for that post office. So, yeah, just the confrontation is scary. He's got a bulging mail sack. Yeah.

That's right. Thank you so much, David. Just get it like a Band-Aid, David. Go down and get it. Go get it just like a band-aid david go down get it go get it hire out like a bunnings trailer or whatever the mole man version of that is and um just yeah load up load up and if you have to do a bonfire bob would you like to thank a few people i would love to i would love to thank from Spiwa in Queensland. That is incredible. Spiwa! I reckon Al Pacino would love to visit and hit a go.

Dave, how would it go? It would go a little something like this. Spiwa! Spiwa! It's hard to do. Jess, can you do it? I can't do it. Spiwa! I can't. Spiwa! See he's I can't do it. Hoo-ah. Okay. Hoo-ah. Spee-wah. So, he's having another child at 98 or whatever he is? Amazing.

Save you, Simon. Come on, Dave. Come on, mate. Be reasonable. Come on, mate. Be reasonable, mate. If you're up, you're in with the fellas. If you're up, you're in.

That's what- What the fuck? Okay. That is a direct quote from a teacher at my school who was our sex ed teacher. What? He was a brother. Yeah. He was like a ed teacher what he was a brother like a you know yeah he was like a religious man in the robes and stuff wow and he said women they've got a biological clock they can only have kids up to a certain age only in their 40s or something men if you're up you're

in i don't understand i think you say As long as you can get an erection You can be a dad That's all it takes to be a dad I mean This is coming from a celibate man Yeah what would he know Was that him telling himself If I want to there's still time

I could do it Could I thank this person From Spiwa We would love to thank V V from Spiwa. From Spiwa. We would love to thank V. V from Spiwa. V from Spiwa. What's V forgotten? V has forgotten.

I won't say that one. Do you want me to help you out here? Yeah. V has been putting off getting out of bed. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. How long has V been in bed? Been in bed for four and a half years. Whoa. We're talking Grandpa Joe levels here. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. How long has V been in bed? Been in bed for four and a half years.

Whoa! We're talking Grandpa Joe levels here. Yeah, exactly. But if one of his relatives comes back with a golden ticket, he will be up like a freaking shot. Oh, but then he's dancing. Yeah. It's like, oh, couldn't get out of bed,

couldn't earn a crust for the family, and all of a sudden when there's a free chocolate tour, you're up and dancing about? Come on, V. Grandpa Joe? Grandpa V? Come on, Grandpa V. Nah, I'm your V.

V from Spiwa. Spiwa. I would also love to thank from Smithsburg, Maryland. MD, Maryland. Doogie Howser. Mm-hmm. Kara Herchenrother. Oh, my God.

Kara, that is pretty awesome. Kara Herchenrother. Herchenrother. Kara Herchenrother. Herchenrother. Kara Herchenrother. What a freaking name. Has put off. Getting ready for summer by practicing and perfecting the bomb off the diving board. Yes.

Unfortunately, Kara last summer could not get a big splash. Yeah. And everyone else pointed and laughed. So embarrassing. They go, oh, Kara, her chin rather, more like Kara, little splash and rather. Wow, that one hurts. Kara felt humiliated. Yeah.

But she'd been putting off learning the bomb and like I, I mean, I don't know if I'm bringing this up from my own childhood, but like I did as a kid when I couldn't make a splash, I started doing backwhackers. And that's what Cara is going to do as well. And it hurts, but, you know, at least you'll have a thing. Yeah, that's right. You're the backwhacker.

Yeah. And it's important to have a role. In the arsenal. Yep. And finally, for me, I would love to thank, from address unknown, so we can only assume deep within the fortress of the moles. Or the mo-wells. I would love to thank James Fragnito.

Oh, that's James Franco Incognito. James, you've got to get up pretty early in the morning to get one past us, mate. Come on. Thank you for your support, James Franco. Sorry, Fragnito. Yeah, sorry, James Fragnito. Come on.

From Hollywood. Yeah. No doubt. No doubt. Moliwood. Do you want to give us your address we get at James Franco? We get at James Franco because we would have turned up. Yeah.

We get it. I wonder if any famous people are. Anyway, what has James been avoiding? He's put off for so long it's now kind of gotten embarrassing. Taking his pills. Yeah. And they're vitamin D pills. Oh, okay.

And as a recluse, a Hollywood recluse, doesn't get a lot of sunshine. So, is very low on vitamin D. What kind of effect would that have on you being low on the d low low energy low energy you get rickets eventually right what and what are rickets i'm just homer has it on the simpsons when they block out the sun so yeah i've had it up to here with these damn rickets is that where rickety comes from? Do you get all creaky? Yeah, sure, why not? Yeah.

Can't, James. Just start today. One vitamin D tablet. Just see if you can grow up in the sun a bit. It's soft bones. Rickets isn't good. That doesn't sound good at all. Yep, I guess you could be bendy.

Yeah, that's fun, I guess. Probably less likely to break your bones if you've got rickets. Dave, do you want to thank some people? I would love to thank some people, and I would like to start with the name that I am about to read. Oh, what a place to begin. From Merrill in, is this Wisconsin? West Indies. Oh, no, yeah, no, US.

Sorry. Oh, you love Merrill in the West Indies. I'm afraid not. Not from the Caribbean, but from Meryl in Wisconsin. Big shout out and thank you to Megan Chilar. Oh. Megan Chilar. I like how you gave it the American Megan.

I was going to say, we would say Megan, but I'm sure you would say Megan if you are originally from there. Again, they're going, what's the difference? I can't. Megan, Megan, I can't. Megan, Megan, it's all good. It's the same thing. Megan.gan megan i love it i want some water megan has been putting my name's megan craig i want some water your name is megan craig my name is megan craig i want some water my name is megan craigan hey did you see that squirrel? So I was on my way to get some water

and all of a sudden I saw a squirrel. My name's Megan Craig. Megan Craig would be a great breakfast radio duet. Megan Craig. You're up with Megan Craig in the mornings. It's Squirrel Owl. Anyone seen any squirrels?

Call it now. Call it now. I think Meg has been putting off elocution lessons. Yes. Not elocuting very well. I cannot understand a thing Megan says. But we love it. Love the energy. Totally. You sound great. Beautiful.

But I just cannot understand. What are you saying, Megan? Just spell it out for me. What are you saying, Megan? Thanks, Megan. Honestly, Megan, pretty frustrating. Like, I'm a guy who enunciates, so maybe you could put in the same amount of effort, okay?

We don't need any more mumblers, okay? Yeah, that's right. Megan, I definitely am throwing in stone in the glass house. This episode had to be edited down by about 25 minutes from my stumbles this week. Funeral. Funeral. Thank you to Megan, and also thank you to, from deep within the fortress of the moles, we assume, because it's a location unknown again, and this is, all one word, your friend

Phoenix. Oh. Our friend Phoenix. Our friend, Phoenix. Definitely our friend, Phoenix. So good. And Phoenix, our friend, has been putting off- Treating rickets. Treating the rickets.

Oh, okay. Get that vitamin D. Phoenix's own rickets or treating a friend's rickets? Both. They've both got rickets. Oh, no. I said they're not treating James Fragnito, aka James Franco's Ricketts. You've just got to take your vitamin D.

Come on, guys. Come on. It's just a little tablet. It's really easy. Yeah. Just take it. They don't taste like anything. They don't taste like anything.

You just have it. It's the middle of winter now, and I'm taking vitamin D. You must. Just to give you a little peek behind the curtain. Yeah. That's how my process has worked here today. It tastes like anything. You just have it. It's the middle of winter now and I'm taking vitamin D. You must. Just to give you a little peek behind the curtain. That's how my process has worked here today. It's beautiful. Two of the nine names we've had vitamin D tablet-related answers. So we're working pretty well here today.

Hey, there's still one more to go. We really missed that horse name generator. I've had it open, but it has not been helping. Okay. It just says vitamin D. I'll try now. We'll see if there's anything I can make work. Alright, we're just reaching out to you as our friend, Phoenix. Take that D.

And finally, I would like to thank from Kingsbridge in Devon. Where they do scones right. Cream then jam. Jam then cream is the way to be. I would like to thank James Brown. You wouldn't be sick of that.

Been forgetting to cash in their chips. Is that horse name generally? One of them is chips. The horse was called cash in your chips. That's pretty good. So they keep winning at the casino. Had a big win, but then had to, they were tired, wanted to go home. Couldn't be bothered lining up to cash him in.

James Brown, get on up and cash in those chips. Go home. I got you. Thank you so much to James Phoenix, Megan, James, Cara V, David, Jared, and Fraser. You're all so beautiful to us. And the last thing we need to do is welcome a few people into the Triptych Club. Dave explains this the best, I think. Well, what we do here is this is the Triptych Club, our theatre of the mind,

a hall of fame for people that have been on the shout-out level or above for three consecutive years. And to thank them for their ongoing support, we've already given them a shout-out a couple of years back, but for this we now induct them into our hall of fame, the Do Go On Triptych Club, which is like a bar, a couple years back but for this we now induct them into our hall of fame the do go on trip ditch club which is like a a bar a hangout space once you're in you can't leave because you don't want to leave yeah you're on the honor roll forever inside there's food there's drink there's bands we welcome you in jess usually organizes the food each week a new dish is added it to the menu what do we got that's so i said so much i'm sick of this bullshit no no no i'm

oh jess we haven't talked about it yet but i scratched a big scar on your forehead before and uh you've lost quite a lot of blood i have we gotta get a photo for the Patreon group. Do we? Do we have to get a photo for the Patreon group? Me and Dave pointing right at it. Yeah. I'll show where my nail had a big chunk of your skin on it. Literally a scratch across Jess's forehead. And I was not involved. I don't think we have to.

Okay, we don't. Let's not even mention it. No, I'm sighing because- Because we went out for- In between doing that and recording this episode, we left a Dill Jai singer who's been on an episode years ago about Boonie. He was at the door and he's like, I hope that happened on the podcast.

You don't want to waste that content. Yeah, it's good content. And I thought, you know what? I better bring it up. I don't want to have scratched skin off Jess's face for nothing. So I brought it up now. So that Band-Aid will be tax deductible. Thank God.

I understand tax law. Yeah, I don't see how that wouldn't work. No, look, the sigh was because poor timing in that I just had a lot of meat on bones. Oh, no, no, no. That's what I had planned. And now with this topic, that feels really poor taste. But you've had the catering booked in for ages. For ages.

I booked these things so far in advance. Meat on bones. Just meat on bones. Can you tell I'm a vegetarian? I couldn't think of a single meat that came on a bone. T-bone. T-bone, like a turkey leg. What about a rack of lamb? Rack of lamb, pork chop. Are they on bones? You can carry on a bone. T-bone? T-bone, like a turkey leg. What about a rack of lamb?

Rack of lamb, pork chop. Are they on bones? You can carry on like one. A full roast chicken. Full roast chicken, bones and all. Beef chop. Beef chop. Flop any sort of chop, you've got a bone on it. Yeah. What? If you're up, you're in.

Yes, brother. This is so weird. We said you can't say brother, Dave. In this context,'re in. Yes, brother. So weird. We said you can't say brother, Dave. In this context, I'm talking to a brother. There was, I don't know, earlier a year, the sex ed teacher, I've told this story before, I'm sure, he said there's innie holes and there's outie holes. Oh, dear God.

I've had so many weird sex ed lessons. Yep. It's weird that Catholic school wasn't good at sex ed. No, not their strength, that's for sure. So, yeah, I don't, yeah, maybe, and cocktails-wise, I just had just whatever I've had in the past. Let's move on. Catholic schools don't know what's causing it, is what I'm saying.

Yeah. But, yeah, no, I, Jesus, my mouth's watering at all those meat on bones. It's another story I just tell when I'm at the end of a, if we had a family roast, Dad would be like, all right, geez, my mouth's watering at all those meat on bones. It's another story. I'd just tell, and at the end of a, we had a family roast. Dad was like, all right, Matt, you can take the bone out the back. And I'd go out in the backyard and just chew the last bits of the meat off the bone. In the backyard. And I'd be looking through the window. Everyone's still sitting at the table.

Why were you sent outside to do it? Well, I guess I'd make a mess otherwise. They were big bones. Bone boy. Outside. Outside bone boy. It's like when the Halloween episode of The Simpsons where Bart's half-brother would be throwing the bucket of fish at him.

So gross. I always book a band as well. Do you want to hear about that? Yes, please. You're never going to believe it. What? This story was based in Georgia, and I've got Georgia's own,

the B-52s over here. No way. That is a great get. I think they're on their farewell tour. Yeah. It's so good they're going to stop by the trip. At least one gig for us. That's so cool.

Big fan. Love their work, as far as I know it. They're the big hits. Yeah. Rome is a banger. Love Shaq. Rock Lobster. I think I'm out after that.

Me too, but great. But still, big way. What about Shiny Happy People with R.E.M. where some of their members sing on it? Oh, that's cool. They're also from Georgia. Yeah, they're from... Both from Athens.

Townmates. Townmates. And townmates. Huh. Probably City Friends. Yeah, no, I like their work. Now, the way this works is I'm on the door. I've got the clipboard.

I'm about to read out the names. Dave's on stage. He's got the mic. He's going to hype you up. As I read your name, he'll hype you up with some weak word play based on your- Don't say the word weak in there. Come on. I know you're trying to undersell so I look even better than I already am, but please-

You don't think I need to do that no i like to set expectations low just because honestly you barely meet these anyway comedy night all right if your first accent come out they're gonna suck if they do a few jokes no i would i do not i do the opposite of that yeah uh and i could say it honestly i've mc'd for you before dave or i'd say this guy's the best in the business one of my great friends he's about to hype you up through the roof you will not believe how clever his word play he is the master of puns he is the pun master now welcome to the stage dave thank you so much good evening legends all right, we're back. And she calls everyone legends. Now, Jess Perkins will be hopping up, Dave.

Here we go. First up, welcome into the Triptych Club from Surrey in British Columbia in Canada. It's Michael Deo. Oh, Deo, Deo. Oh, Deo, Deo. Michael Deo From Christchurch in New Zealand, please welcome, oh my god, it's Alexander Jones Calling Alexander Jones, Alexander Jones, calling Alexander Jones, calling Alexander Jones, Alexander Jones

Wake up now from Christchurch We love your work, Alexander Jones Also from Glenside in, I reckon, Pennsylvania in the United States, Michelle Lindberger. I think it's Lineberger. Okay. Because I was going to say, we've crossed the Lineberger. That's right.

It's a touchdown. Michelle Lindberger. From Virginia Beach in Virginia in the United States, it's Ryan Butterfield. They've been Butterfielding me up all States. It's Ryan Butterfield. They've been Butterfielding me up all night. It's Ryan Butterfield. From Midlothian in also Virginia. Holy shit, it's Virginia week here in the United States.

It's Kareem Ramawi. More like Dream Ramawi. Kareem the Dream. Fuck, I love the name Kareem. From Gig Harbor in maybe Washington in the United States, it's Joe Rankley. Joe Rankley. Frankly, I love you.

Whoa. From Hamilton in Wakato, New Zealand, it's Lee McIntosh. More like Glee McIntosh when I see your face. From Norwich in Norfolk in Great Britain, home of Alan Partridge It's David Kingfisher You're the king, Kingfisher How does he do it?

He's so good From Franklin in Tasmania, Australia It's Laura Wood Laura Wood, be awesome Yeah, if she joins us at this party And she's here Yeah, Laura Wood Laura Wood, you bet I will

And from South Fremantle in Western Australia, it's Alex. Alex. Oh, sorry. You were mouthing something at me, Jess. Western Australia from the best in Australia. Yeah, okay. Yeah, South Fremantle. I feel more like I feel free mantle when I see you, Alex.

Yeah. You set me free mantle. Yeah. I'll put you on the mantle. Yeah, I'll put you on my mantle. Like a prize. No, no, you're ashes. Wait, no, that's worse.

Thank you so much, Alex. I'm going to burn you. Okay, see, it's fine. Yeah, yeah. I'm digging myself out of the hole with this big shovel. I won't just dump you in the woods. I'll burn you. Thank you, Alex, Laura, David, Lee, Joe, it's fine. Yeah, yeah. I'm digging myself out of the hole with this big shovel. I won't just dump you in the woods. Thank you, Alex, Laura, David, Lee, Joe, Kareem, Ryan, Michelle, Alexander, and Michael.

Welcome all to the club. Make yourselves at home. Grab a big bone and have a chew. Sorry about that. No, most of these people would love that. All the other food's still on the menu. That brings us to the end of the episode, actually. Is there anything else we need to tell people before we go?

That they can suggest a topic at dogoonpod.com, where you can also find info about live shows. You can see previous episodes, all sorts of fun stuff. And find us on social media at dogoonpod as well. And if you're up to date with all the DoGoOns, go back to the start list again. And if you're looking for more to listen to, we've all got other podcasts.

Jess does one called Simply the Jest. Dave does one called Book Cheat. And I do one called Who Knew with Matt Stewart. And they're all worth listening to as well. We've also got other ones, Primates and Listen Now. And Listen Now is getting started to be recorded again. Oh, amazing. By the time this comes out, it's probably on its way to finishing

finally the second season, which has been on hiatus for nearly three years. Get fired up. Isn't that wild? I couldn't believe it. I do not believe that. Three years? Three years.

Whoa. Okay. Well, very exciting then. Yeah. Davey, boot this baby home. Hey, we'll be back next week. But until then, also thank you so much for listening. And until then, it's goodbye.

Later. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. by the end of the video, I'm hitting roll because normally you'd get away with that but that big red light means not anymore. I'm not going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going the first time. I'm hitting roll because normally you'd get away with that, but that big red light means not anymore. We know when you fucked it.

AJ, I told the others that I was hitting record and then I missed. God, you're an idiot. He missed a button. Can you believe that, AJ? AJ, just take a second, pause this, point and laugh at your computer. Yeah, because, you know, you think of like Dave out there shooting free throws to win the game. Uh-huh.

He can't even hit a button. I actually throw it towards the other end. Oh. Wait, is that wrong? You pass it to someone in the crowd. There you go, Dad. Is that what you wanted me to do? Dad calm down

Didn't take my shot Somehow you fall over The free throw line I stuck it Alright Now put that in at the end of the episode AJ That's great That's good stuff

It's just funny Matt's desperate for bonus bits Other people love that little bit at the end we can wait for clean water solutions or we can engineer access to clean water we can acknowledge indigenous cultures or we can learn from indigenous voices we can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.