Do Go On - 403 - The Beast of Gévaudan

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

In the 1670s a mysterious beast terrorised the villagers of the Gévaudan province in France, in this epic episode we hear the Beast's story - full of mystery, death, heroes, villains and lot of spot on French pronunciations, enjoy!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 08:54(though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our merch: https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:Beast: Werewolves, Serial Killers, and Man-Eaters: The Mystery of the Monsters of the Gévaudan by S. R. Schwalb and Gustavo Sánchez Romerohttps://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/beast-gevaudan-terrorized-france-countryside-180963820/https://www.history.com/news/beast-gevaudan-france-theorieshttps://www.forbes.com/sites/davidbressan/2017/06/28/terror-and-geology-the-beast-of-gevaudan/?sh=6581fef722c4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in really quickly at the start of today's episode to tell you about some upcoming opportunities to see us live in the flesh. And you can see us live at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2024. We are doing three live podcasts on Sundays at 3.30 at Basement Comedy Club, April 7, 14 and 21. You can get tickets at dogo1pod.com. Matt, you're also doing some shows around the country. That's right. I'm doing shows with Saren Jayaimana, who's been on the show before. We're going to be in Perth in January, Adelaide in February,

Melbourne through the festival in April, and then Brisbane after that. I'm also doing Who Knew It's in Perth and Adelaide. Details for all that stuff at mattstuartcomedy.com.

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write the future. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnke and as always I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello, I'm Matt Stewart. What? I'm also Matt Stewart. My bank account details are thus. Okay, here we go. If you know them off by heart, you are not the real Matt Stewart. How would you freaking remember that?

No, I don't know that. I don't mind. Your bank details, what are they? They are as follows. But do you really? Yeah. Really? You don't know the one that people, like, you know, transfer you most frequently. What are they? They are as follows. But do you really? Yeah. Really? You don't know the one that people, like, you know,

transfer you most frequently. People go, what's your details? I wouldn't trust myself to just, like, just off the top of my dome. But I think if you were like, the account that ends in this, I'd be like, yeah, that's the one. Right. I also think I've got an online shopping problem because I also knew my credit card off by heart. Oh, I did for a long time and then I had to replace the credit card

and now, unfortunately, my computer remembers it and now it's like, well, I don't have to remember anything. Welcome to the future. You don't have to know anything. It's the best. I love it here. They say the computer, oh, it's bad. I don't give a shit.

Hack me. I don't care. Hack me. Hack me. Okay, that goes out there. I once got hacked. It wasn't very good having no money for, I think it was like four months. It was ages, yeah.

It was far too long. The bank, because there's a law here at least that, you know, if certain ways you're hacked and money's stolen from you, it's insured or whatever and they have to get it back to you. But there's a certain amount of time that they're allowed to take and they took all that time plus one day. And they said, oh, we finally got to it. Oh, yeah.

Thank you. Yeah, I bet you just got to it. When you closed your accounts with that bank, were they like, oh, why? Yeah. How are you doing? It was a pretty satisfying day closing my account. They were too busy laughing on their big pile of money. Yeah, I was a real Homer and Flaming Moes.

You've lost yourself a customer. Sorry, cha-ching. Sorry, cha-ching. Sorry, I can't quite hear you, cha-ching. Hey, anyway, how good is it to be alive? I wish I was never born. Oh. Well, I like to describe how this show works.

Okay. That's my thing. Go for it. What we do here on Do Go On is we take it in terms of a report on a topic often suggested to us by one of the listeners. Whoever's the reporter goes away, does a bit of research and brings it back to the crew with their little reports. And we always start with a question to get us onto topic.

Before we do, though, I have a question for Dave. Oh, okay. Dave, because it is Matt's turn to do a report this week. And I was just wondering if you wanted to have a go of being a sass twin with me oh my gosh hold on is this a prank no no no prank I just feel like a prank I know but I felt like Matt and I've been the sass twins for such a long time and it's it we've always really excluded you mostly because you just like you're just not as fun as us um and but I just thought if you maybe after all these years wanted to just have a go I'm not saying you're replacing Matt at all but Matt's busy today doing a report.

This is the greatest honour of my life. Okay, you're married but- This is the greatest honour of my life. Okay, yep. And do you think he's fit my big shoes? Oh, no. No, no, no. But I'm just saying he can have a go.

Again, not a replacement. No, I'm not. I'm saying I'm stoked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, oh, that's great. I've been waiting for this day. I think he's seen. I've been excited about this day.

I can't live forever. Someone has to put on these boots one day. Yeah, and Dave has been on the receiving end of the Sass Twins for such a long time. I've had that boot many times. I feel like maybe he's picked up a thing or two, but we'll see. And honestly, because I know that i won't live forever that's why i've got to stress you this rhetorical question how good is it to be alive and we always start with a question and do you have a question this

week you little bitch how am i going how am i going so far that's not bad thank you hey here's something i learned on a recent who knew with matt stew Matt Stewart, by the way. The word sass emerged in the 19th century from the adjective sassy, which began as a variation on saucy from the idea that words can be zesty, sharp or spicy. Oh. That's from vocabulary.com. That's exciting stuff. So, you could also say, give me a little bit of sauce. Yeah. I like it.

I think it's sort of like curse and cuss, sauce and sass. Uh-huh. Maybe. Anyway, a bit of fun. Okay. All right. So, I'm asking a question to get us on the topic. The question is, who did Kelsey Grammer play in X-Men 3?

Is he Beast? He is Beast. Well done. Well done, Dave. There you go. I have not seen it. I haven't seen it. Well done. Didn't, Dave. There you go. I have not seen it. I haven't seen it. Well done.

Didn't know Kelsey Grammer was in an X-Men film. Oh, yeah. Name an actor. They've all been in one. Name any actor. Helen Mirren. Yep. I was also thinking Helen Mirren.

She played Cyborg 3. God, she was good. She was robbed of that Oscar. God, she was good. She was robbed of that Oscar. So, this week we are not talking about probably the most panned in the early trilogy of X-Men, X-Men 3. Right. We are not talking about that, unfortunately.

Are we talking about Beast, though? Because Beast- We are talking about a beast. Beast after Wolverine was my second favourite from the cartoon. Well, you might enjoy an episode of Primates that I did focusing specifically on the beast. So, we've already covered it. Okay.

Okay, and how about Gambit, my third favourite? No. Who threw the playing cards that exploded. Damn, that's cool. Oh, that is cool, actually. That is cool. I don't understand. How is that possible?

He's an X-Man. Basically, if you have any question about that show, the answer is they're an X-Man. You've just taken the most fucked combination of steps. Matt has got three drinks this week. There's water, there's orange juice, there's coffee, and he chose the worst one where he went straight from an OJ onto an iced coffee. That was bonkers.

What do you mean? That was uncomfortable. Oh, he's going for some water now too. I think the only possible explanation is that Matt is some sort of X-Man. Or hungover. That's the only way where you need that much hydration in that many different forms. I'm report writing hungover. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I was up quite late working on this. All right, so some sort of beast. Beast of a report, if you will. So we should stop fucking around. So this week we're talking about the mysterious beast of the Gévaudan, which hopefully that's probably the one French word I'm going to say vaguely correct. Okay. Because I've listened to an audio book about it and it gets said a lot.

Gévaudan. And I'm sure I'm still butchering it, but it's something like the beast of Gévaudan. Gévaudan. I think I sound great in French. I agree. This has been suggested. This is what made me realise it's a good topic to do because it was suggested into the hat, which anyone can do

if you go to the dugongpod.com website. There's a link there to suggest topics into the hat. But it was suggested by Victoria from France. Whoa. So, you know it's good. Yeah. And I hope Victoria's still listening because I feel like I've been borderline offensive to French people recently. So, this episode is my peace offering.

Okay. Where I'm going to talk about a lot of them being murdered. Cool. Hang on. By the beast of Javelin. them being murdered cool hang on uh it's also been suggested by many others including aaron from india paul fleer from brunswick east keith murphy from dairy in new hampshire tom beasley from london maddie laden from melbourne ethan lee from brighton peter c kinsler from wilmington north carolina the home of the Eating plant

William Davis from Placeville, California Vinnie Policastro from Manahawken New Dorsey New Dorsey Is that next order New Jersey? I think it is Toby from Tiptree and Scott Coventry

From Grenoble Wow these people are from all over. Multiple continents covered there. And this is a topic I've never heard of. Yeah, and we had one from the exotic and, you know, exciting place of East Brunswick. Yes. Paul Fleer.

Yeah, he went from France to India to East Brunswick. Paul Fleer, in fact, I don't know if you remember my hit show, Footy Footy Foot. Paul Fleer is the man who carved the letters for the front of the desk. Really? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. He has like one of them carving machines. You do the computer.

3D printer. Yeah. And then it cuts them precisely. Yeah. How about that? That's pretty cool. Paul Fleer's a cool guy. Two separation, two degrees of separation from greatness right here.

Yeah. Me to Matt to Fleer. All right. Let us begin. I've read and listened to a book, as I like to do when I'm researching a topic. I need to take it with both of my senses. I need to smell it. Yeah.

This beast smells like shit. So, I've been reading and listening to the book Beast, Werewolves, Serial Killers and Maneaters, The Mystery of the Monsters of the Gévaudan by S.R. Schwalbe and Gustavo Sanchez Romero. Oh, my goodness. Wow. So big they needed two authors. And incredible names.

I'm going to be quoting Schwalb and Romero quite a bit, including these very words. Of the two, who's your favourite? Do you have a favourite? I don't know where the words are divided. Oh, okay. But probably Schwalb. I would assume they would do it sort of that way we sometimes do

the Patreon section and take a word each. Yeah, a word at a time. Just back deck tits. In the beginning. This is good. This is flowing. Oh, my God. Dave, a word at a time. Just back deck turns. In the beginning. This is good. This is flowing. Dave, should we write a book? Only Dave plays all three parts in the

beginning. No, I said should we, as in Dave and I. So there's two parts and we'll take turns. Thanks. Sass twins. They are doing it. So, yeah, here's Schwalben Sanchez. As the story goes, a terrified young woman had returned home from attending her cattle to declare she'd had a hair-breadth escape from a beast.

The beast ignored the bovines in favour of her, but despite the close call, she managed to escape with her life. She claimed the creature was like a wolf, yet not a wolf. This young woman was from Lagugnon in France. In the Gévaudan. It's a full immersive experience

when you watch Matt pronounce these words. I think every muscle in your body gets into that. Can we hear what's the place called again? I mean, I'm not... For a into that. Can we hear what's the place called again? Well, I mean, for a good reason. The whole region is called the Gévaudan, but this particular one was Lagoonon. I'll say that differently.

But I'm not making fun. I'm trying. No, no, no. We're making fun of you. No, we're not making fun of France. Don't you worry. That's a beautiful language. And it is hard to pronounce things that are in different languages, of course.

But we're laughing because your voice deepens and the hands gesture. Yeah, and your mouth moves in multiple ways. It's beautiful. It's exciting. It's such a shame. At some point this year, we're going to start filming the episodes. What a shame it wasn't today. When you're zooming in on.

And Matt just having multiple drinks going. It's fucking loose Canada over here. It's crazy. It is wild. But that's a scary picture you've painted there. Yeah. So you've gone out. It's a wolf but not a wolf.

Hang out with the cattle. It's a wolf, not a wolf. You're shitting yourself. Yes. And also that they're like, you know, you're a wolf-like creature. Look at all this beautiful boof that we've got here. Beef in French. La bouffe.

We got all this beautiful bouffe here and you're coming for me? A girl? A scrawny little human? So that was one thing as well that was a bit. Like there were human attacks, but they were much rarer. So this is a pretty grisly topic. There's a lot of human death, a little bit of animal death as well. So just a heads up, if anyone out there doesn't feel like hearing

about lots of death today, maybe not the ep for you. But I won't go into a lot of the details. And it did happen many, many years ago. In fact, let us begin with the first death. Oh, my gosh. On the 30th of June, 1764. Okay, many years ago. Yeah, many, many years ago.

I feel great about it. I was about to leave, but I'm fine. They'd be dead anyway. Exactly. Long dead. This beast would be dead anyway. How long do wolves live for? This is like a wolf.

How long do like wolves live for? This is like a wolf. Oh, how long do like wolves live for? The only difference is that this wolf lives for a non-wolf time, like 200 years. So, it's still dead. We're still fine. We're still fine. Don't worry about it. 30th of June, 1764, Jeanne Boulet, a 14-year-old shepherd,

took her small flock of sheep out to a meadow and she never returned home. The mysterious beast attacked Boulet, leaving the sheep be. Here's some more from our great mates Schwalb and Romero. Little did anyone know that Jean Boulay's death would set in motion the mystery of a man-eating monster that would electrify all of France. She was interred on the 1st of July, and according to the official record documented by her priest, Father Sucher, having been killed by the, quote, ferocious beast.

So they're already talking about it like they knew, and it was the ferocious beast, you know what I mean? Yeah, not a. Yeah. And this has obviously been translated from French. It would have been le feroce bête, something like that. But also, how can you say it's ferocious if you haven't seen it? I guess you've seen the remnants of the victim.

What kind of a word is that? It's an adjective. Adjective? Yeah. But you're saying that, like, unless you see it in action in its ferocity, even if you come across, like, unless you see it in action in its ferocity. Yes. Even if you come across, like, the remaining bones or whatever, you go, that could have taken them ages.

Exactly. They could have nibbled for weeks. We don't know. We don't know. They could have, hmm. Oh, very Moorish. And they could have apologised the whole time. I'm so sorry about this. This is just in my nature.

Exactly. It's not what I want to do. You've got to survive. This is business. This is not personal. Yeah. I mean, you're bringing up these sheep to nature. Exactly. It's not what I want to do. Go to survive. This is business. This is not personal. Yeah. I mean, you're bringing up these sheep to eat. Yep.

So, you've got to see why it's not actually that full on. You get it. Yep. You'd be a hypocrite to not let me eat you right now. But I'm not taking away from my apology. I am very sorry. Very sorry. But no, I will not be asking for permission.

I am just going to eat you. I'm going to do it. But I will be making a donation to a charity of your choice. Yes. If that's okay. Yeah, that's what I mean. How can you write ferocious things? There might have been a polite beast.

We don't know. But it does make it seem like, you know, it had been seen before, perhaps by that first girl I talked to about who survived it. They're aware of it. That was a month or so before. Right. This is the first death. So I think they're putting two and two together that this is the same.

And it seemed quite ferocious to her. Yeah. Well, then I take back everything I've said. Le but. But it could have- Le but. I think- How do you say the beast in French, Dave?

I'm not sure about beast. It's spelled like B-E-T-E, but there's some weird stuff going on above the not weird different sorry not weird weird thank you it's good to be held accountable not weird to them is it no no that's a very good point not weird different i didn't mean weird we don't have the little uh hieroglyphics apart from on the top of metal bands, like motorhead with the umlaut, which would make it be pronounced. I'm sure I've talked about this before. I think mutahead or something.

Which I like better. That's a much better name. Yeah. Okay. So, Jean Boulet has died. Things have now kicked off. At the time, to set a scene, France was recovering from a bruising loss in the Seven Year War. It's a war I knew nothing about, I've got to tell you. But according to

Britannica, the Seven Years War, which went from 1756 to 63, was the last major conflict before the French Revolution that involved all the great powers of Europe. Generally, France, Austria, Saxony, Sweden, and Russia were aligned on one side against Prussia, Hanover, and Great Britain on the other. In his History of the English-Speaking Peoples, Winston Churchill labeled the Seven Years' War as the First World War, which is weird because there's already a First World War. Come on, Winston. You were very aware of that one, too. Come on, man. So, just name it something else.

Yeah. Yeah, it's so weird. It's like purposely confusing. I know. Wayne Stander. We know before you tweet us. A struggle for supremacy between the two most powerful countries in the world, France and Britain.

The conflict involved Europe, North America, the Caribbean, Africa, and India. That does sound pretty worldly. Yeah. Just prior to the time of the beast, the conflict, also known as the French and Indian War, had proved disastrous for France financially and in regards to global influence. Because apparently they went into the war,

they were the big power, but they were quite bruised from the war. Back to Britannica. At the end of the war, the Treaty of Paris was signed. In it, the French lost nearly all their land claims in North America and their trading interests in India. Great Britain gained Canada, all lands east of the Mississippi and Florida. France ceded Louisiana to Spain and evacuated Hanover. Great Britain emerged from the war a world power. Prussia and Russia became major powers in Europe,

and in contrast, influence of France, Austria, and Spain was greatly reduced. Wow. So, yeah, big war. A lot of influence. A lot of influence, yeah. It's wild. Like, North America was majorly influenced, how it turned out because of this war in Europe.

It's like it's all so crook how like just all that. Oh, you lost the war? Well, you're going to lose parts of countries that you had no real rights to anyway. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, at this time, at the time of the beast, le butte. I'm so sorry, French people. I know, I know.

He's trying. France was really licking its wounds as the beast's reign of terror dawned. Wow. What is the Gévaudan, you might be wondering? I am. What's the region of France, Jess? Oh. Okay.

Oh, yeah, you said that before. Or at least it used to be. What? Oh, my God, it's disappeared. The beast ate it. It is big. That's a big beast. I bet it apologised the whole time. I'm so sorry. The beast ate it. It is big. That's a big beast. I bet it apologised the whole time.

I'm so sorry. So sorry. We can blame erosion or something if you want. But, no, it's just not known as that anymore. Oh. It's still there. Well, I guess the land is still there, yeah. But they don't call it a Gévaudan.

It's changed. It had the reputation for being a remote, isolated backwater The land is still there, yeah. Oh. But they don't call it a Gévaudan. It's changed. It had the reputation for being a remote, isolated backwater where the forces of nature had not been fully tamed. Erosion. Where the forests were indeed enchanted, says J.M. Smith, a historian and author of Monsters of the Gévaudan, The Making of a Beast. It's fascinating.

It's powerful. It's scary. It's powerful. It's scary. It's sublime, he said. I love it. So, some of those words sound nice and others I don't like. Yeah. Say that again. It's fascinating.

Love it. It's powerful. Ooh. It's scary. No, thanks. It's sublime. Okay. A roller coaster.

Yeah, but it just sounds like it's a while. I love this one description of it, according to Schwalbe and Romero. At least one travel source has referred to the region as the Scotland of France. If that helps put it into context. The Scotland of France. Yeah, the Scotland of France. Are we talking kilts? What's going on here?

I think it's just rugged terrain. It's got terrain. Okay. I'm listening. Schwab and Romero go on. Missing from contemporary maps and unknown to most 18th century inhabitants of France even, the Gévaudan is today associated with the department or administrative district of Le Zé, created at the time of the French Revolution.

Okay. It wasn't even on maps. Yeah. In the 1700s. That's amazing. It is. No, missing. Oh, yeah, missing from contemporary maps.

I thought that meant today, but no, contemporary of the time of the beast, I guess. Yeah, most people were just like, I guess it's just forested area or something. Yeah. We don't really know what's there. There's a big X. Yeah. A big question mark. A question mark. it's just forested area or something yeah we don't really know what's there yeah yeah a big question mark well it's like we talked about it in the um uh that escape from the convict

settlement in tasmania episode that hit big chunks of tasmania were just like yeah we guess there's stuff there yeah i loved that episode because they were like there's no way anybody could survive on this land and the Indigenous people had been living there, thriving there for so long. If it was a comedy, they'd zoom out and there'd be a bunch of local Indigenous people going, what? Just like looking real comfortable. Exactly.

Cozy. They've sorted everything. There's no way. Feet up. There's no possible way a human being could live out there. Here? Come on. Not possible.

It's not possible. They'd die. After they'd cleared the land. Yeah. Yeah. Good stuff. Let's go back to Schwalbe and Romero. Summers, especially in lower Mediterranean-oriented valleys,

were hot, sunny, and dry. But the massive central has a sub-alpine climate. Winters are long and harsh, with some of the snowiest conditions in the country. Daytime temperatures average minus 6 degrees Celsius, about 21 degrees Fahrenheit. At the time of the beast, the world was also in the grip of an exceptionally cold period, a little ice age that began in the 1500s. In addition, the plague struck here in 1720. Well over 2,000 people died in the Gévaudan capital of Mende

and the nearby town of Mavillot. Poor harvest and subsequent famines affected the area. I think you're just making sounds. Well, that's what words are, Jess. That is what words are. That's what words are. That's what words are. That is what words are. Don't interrupt me to tell me what words are.

I know what words are. I apologise for the interruption. You're right. So, there's a lot of, I mean, France in general is having a tough time after the war, but this area. Really copping it. The plague, famines. Yeah, it's freezing cold.

Freezing cold. Poor harvests. Yeah Yeah, it's freezing cold. Freezing cold. Poor harvest. Yeah, because it's freezing cold. So just through the 1700s, it was pretty dire times. And then you add in a beast. A beast. A ferocious one. Oh, my God.

I mean, these people have been through enough. Yeah. Some say that this is exactly what France needed, something to galvanise them. A common enemy. But I feel like that's going to be a hard sell to the families of the victims. Yeah. Isn't this just what we needed? This is good

for France. Not long after this they're like, fuck the beast, let's just kill the king. That's our common enemy, let's be honest. The real beast. I don't think you need, like, some- Well, I guess- Because I'm thinking, like, famine and plague and it's super cold,

all that sort of stuff kind of would bring you together a little bit anyway. Yeah. Much like COVID did to us. I was about to say, you don't need someone killing you, but COVID was doing that. Yeah. So- We refer to that as the beast.

That's true. That was our beast. That was We refer to that as the beast. That's true. That was our beast. That was our beast of Gévaudan. Dave, you're going to love this. I only included it for you. Do you know the name Robert Louis Stevenson? Yes. Yeah.

And Edgar Allan Poe. Oh, what's that mean? It's from a- Now you're just making sounds. It's from a tripod saw you're just making sounds. It's from a tripod, so- Okay. That's why. So, Robert Louis Stevenson is the author of Treasure Island, Kidnapped, and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

The last one? Last one I've done on Booktube. I didn't realise, like, usually those classic authors have one big one, but having Treasure Island and Jekyll and Hyde is- Yeah. This guy's a giant. And Scottish. And Scottish, that's right. Oh, the Scotland of France.

Yeah. That's why he was drawn to this area. Ah. More than 100 years after the time of the beast, his sojourn through the countryside with a four-footed companion, Modestine, became the basis for his book, Travels with a Donkey in the- C'est l'air. Which was published in 1871.

I really was hoping you were going to help me out with that one. Well, you went a bit godfather with that one. C'est l'air. What was this, the day of your daughter's wedding or something? This is going to be unlistenable to French people. Oh, 100%, yeah. I'm so sorry. But this is where...

And probably like some Canadians who speak French or just anybody who speaks French, really. It doesn't even have to be from France. That's true. Which is crazy, isn't it? Yeah. It's quite a lot of people are going to hate this. Yeah, quite a lot of people.

Quite a lot of people have turned off already, I'm sure. But some people are loving it. Others are loving it. Because I've got to tell you, this topic won in a landslide on the Patreon vote. An absolute landslide. It had two-thirds of the vote in a three-horse race. And a lot of the comments were, can't wait to hear Matt butcher some of these French words.

Oh, wow. Oh, thank you. So, all those people are loving this. You're giving them what they want. Well. You know how to pronounce these perfectly, but they requested that you butcher them. Yes.

Otherwise, I would be saying them correctly. Absolutely. Otherwise, I would be saying them correctly. Absolutely. Otherwise, I would be saying them correctly. So, this book, I don't know if you know this quote. Apparently, it's a famous quote and it comes from his book, Travels with a Donkey in the Civil. For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. The great affair is to move.

Beautiful. That's moving. Yeah, it's beautiful. Can I have that again? For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. To go. The great affair is to move. I like that.

Basically, it's the journey, not the destination. Love it. He would have been great on reality TV. The writer's account speaks of the bleak fields of the Gévaudan and its roaring blackness at night in which the author says, quote, I was sure of nothing but the direction of the wind. Wow. He had a real way with words.

I'm never sure of the direction of the wind. Well, you would have been sure of nothing at all then. That's been true for such a long time. You're left with nothing. Stevenson, who'd recently finished reading a novel about the beasts of the Gervaudan, writes of the creature at the time, Wolves, alas, like bandits, seem to flee the traveller's advance, and you may trudge through all of comfortable Europe

and not meet with an adventure worth the name. But here, if anywhere, a man was on the frontiers of hope, for this was the land of the ever-memorable beast, the Napoleon Bonaparte of wolves. Wow. So, he's like, oh, it's so boring everywhere else, but here at least I've got a shot to come face-to-face with a beast. That's what he wants.

Yeah, that's right. It's like, elsewhere the wolves will just run away, but here- It might kill you. They'll come and kill you. Finally. I think he and kill you. Finally. I think he's not doing so well. He needs to have a chat with someone. Yeah.

I'm going to go somewhere where I'll probably die, hopefully in a terrible way. To live. To live. To move. To live is to die. Not to be anywhere, but just to be. Inside a wolf. That's where I want to be. I want to get in there. Oh, he wants to fight a wolf. I live is to die. Not to be anywhere, but just to be. Inside a wolf.

That's where I want to be. I want to get in there. Oh, he wants to fight a wolf. I want to. Whoa. Frontways, though. He wants to go in the mouth. I guess you can fuck a wolf in the mouth.

Oh, dear. Why did you take it to that place, Jess? I didn't. Isn't that a saying? Never fuck a wolf in the mouth? I think so, yeah. Like, the last bit's implied, no one ever says it, but what was the original ending of that?

Oh, your dick will get torn off. Yeah, yeah, but that's implied. That's implied. It's implied. It's like a when in Rome. Very uncouth to say it. Stevenson travelled to the Jevudon in September of 1878, a little over 112 years earlier.

In August of 1764, the beast's second official victim would die. I'm about to tell you about a bunch more deaths. But like I said, I'm not going to go into heaps of detail. The country folk continued with the farming and trade activities vital to their existence, most largely unaware of the beast, owing to the region's sparse population residing in individual, isolated communities. During the first week of August 1764,

a little more than six miles from the site of Jean's death, oh, that's Boulay, the first girl who died, but in the Gévinne proper, a girl named Marianne Hebraude from a tiny community called Selye went missing, but not as Jean had at the close of day. Marianne instead vanished in broad daylight. Oh, no. The beast was quickly becoming confident.

I hate that. Confidant. Yeah. My goodness. Like Jean, however, Marion was found throttled and half-eaten. Searchers were said to have turned up scattered remains and remnants of cloth.

Official chronicles state that she was set upon by a roving beast that had recently encroached upon the area. 48 hours later, in another rural village named Mesmille, the beast came out of nowhere to stalk, surprise, and savage another girl.

Her name, unknown to historians, but she was only 15 years old. Far out. So I think in part the teenage girls were the early targets because they seemed to be the ones who were looking after the sheep and the cows. Right. They were the herders and the shepherds. Out in the cows. Right. They were the herders and the shepherds. Out in the fields.

But as we go along, you'll notice that women do seem to be the main targets for some reason. Great. So it's a misogynist as well. It's a misogynist wolf. Oh, my gosh. It's a sodge wolf. And a lot of boys as well.

So it's a lot of young people, teenagers, children, and women. There are adult men as well. Oh, thank God. They'd be in the minority for some reason and it's not really known why. For once. How does it feel? They're like, fucking great. I've got nothing to worry about out there.

Of course they're in the minority when it means they're not dying horrible deaths. I think you'll find that women have a longer expected life expectancy expect them so uh what does that tell you so obviously the wolves have come for us since so that's what i can deduce things have changed on august the 30th two months after jean boulet's demise a boy near Les Prédeurs in France, would you believe, was looking after his family's cattle when he was also killed by the beast. Wow. Taxed by wild animals weren't unheard of, but never with this kind of regularity. Yeah.

And normally the farm animals would be targeted as well. And authorities quickly grew concerned. A man named Etienne Lefond was the local sub-delegate of King Louis XV who was the reigning monarch of the time and according to Schwalbe and Romero the 45 year old Lefond was disturbed by the reports he'd been receiving of an animal which had attacked and killed several children in the area. The accounts did not ring true it sounded as if the animal was something other than a nuisance wolf or a pack of wolves like they were sort of used to. He knew of other instances where wolves had attacked people,

but generally it was because they were rabid or famished from lack of prey during the region's harsh winters. But obviously when you're coming and attacking a kid and there's a flock of sheep. Yeah. It's not because they're famished. Yep. I am famished. Oh, lamb.

I've had enough of that. I don't really like it. Do you have any mint jelly that I don't want the lamb? And then so I'm like, oh, so maybe this is a rabid wolf, wolf with rabies. So I looked that up. How long would a wolf with rabies live? And it sounds like an infected animal usually dies within seven days of becoming sick. Right. And already these attacks have happened over the months.

So that's unlikely. It's not normal wolf behavior. So it's like a wolf but not a wolf. And another thing to keep in mind is these were pretty isolated villages and it is the 1700s they don't have books showing great pictures of all the possible wild animals out there so if it is something that they're not used to in their area it would look you know potentially very exotic and scary it's probably a tiger or maybe it's just like a big dog. A pug. What the fuck is that?

You've never seen one. A pug with a thirst for blood. It's a ravenous pug. Oh no! Oh no, it's starting with my toes. I can't get away. Oh, stop it, puggy. I'm going to call you

puggy. That's how to call you Puggy. That's how they got their names. Before that, they were called Rrrr. Rrrr, Beast. Yeah, I started with a Rrrr and I didn't know where to go. And you'd said Beast, which is what I should have started by saying. Sorry, Jess. Originally, of course, pugs were known as Rrrr.

Because of the noise they make. I don't know, I guess we'll call them what noise they make I think that's what they want to be called What's your name? Okay Pleasure to meet you Back then they were probably They hadn't been bred to the point where they're Suffering permanently

But jeez they're suffering permanently. But, jeez, they're cute. So cute. So cute. But if you'd never seen one before, and if you're in the French countryside, you'd probably be like, what the hell is that? Exactly. So, you get where they're at. It could be a pug.

I like that you're already suggesting things. Okay. Please. Do you want us to keep doing that? If you've got any thoughts, feel free to throw them out. Panther. Fantastic suggestion. things okay please do you want us to keep doing that if you've got any thoughts feel free to throw them out fantastic suggestion so talking about wolves as well and being dangerous you know the idea of wolves uh they're vicious animals right and i was i looked into that a bit as well um according to the colorado state university the perception of wolves as a danger to people has a long history in human society but in reality the risk of wolves as a danger to people has a long history in human society. But in reality, the risk of wolves attacking or killing people is low. Wolves

typically avoid people, buildings, and roads, and encounters are rare. For example, a study published in 2002 reviewed wolf-human interactions in Alaska and Canada, where over 60,000 wolves live. And between 1900 and 2000, a 100- hundred year period the study found only 16 cases where wild healthy wolves bit people in six cases bites were severe no bites were life-threatening wow isn't that interesting in a in a hundred years yeah there was 16 bites yeah from healthy wolves there were others with rabies-infected wolves. No, I mean, thousands of others were murdered, sadly. But the healthy ones.

No, yeah, but I don't even think it was thousands of rabies-infected dogs. But, yeah, so that was surprising. They avoid people and anywhere that people would be. Yeah, that's right. Interesting. They basically fear people, you know. Good. I think a few more things. Good, if any wolves are listening, we certainly don't fear you.

A few more things should bloody fear us, mate, let me tell you. Okay. It does seem like I've read suggestions that back in the 1700s in France, maybe that was a bit different, they weren't as afraid. But, yeah, it seems like generally speaking they're not going around taking out humans. I'm not super comfy with a big dog, to be honest. If I saw a wolf, I'd be like, oh, I'm going to back right up. Wow, that's exactly what a wolf would do.

Hang on a second. Whoa. Oh, my goodness. Jess. What? Have you just spilled the beans here? That I'm a wolf? Are you a wolf? Because if I'm a wolf Are you a wolf

Because if I saw a wolf Yeah I would be a bit nervous Oh my god And you think that wolf's a human I'm onto you mate He has not had much sleep I've got you gone mate

You're gone You're done mate I've got you. One of Lafon's early reports suggests the beast hardly resembled a wolf at all. Okay. Like a wolf, but not like a wolf at all. In any way. It walked on its hind legs and had pale pink skin and wore clothing like a man and also spoke French. And carried a shotgun.

And some knives. Oh, that wolf. Does it walk on its hind legs? Some people have said that it did. People saw figures walk on their hind legs in the bushes. People. Wolfman type creatures. Is it possible that these peasants only knew of two animals?

It was either a sheep or a wolf, and they went, I guess it was kind of closer to a wolf, not really. Not a sheep. Yeah. It wasn't going, bleh, so it's not a sheep. Yeah, okay. So, I guess it has to fall into wolf category. It's a wolf.

Even though it had wings, it breathed fire. It was a wolf. So, there you go. This is how Lafont described it in an earlier report. It is much bigger than a wolf. It has a snout somewhat like a calf's and very long hair, which would seem to indicate a hyena. Okay.

This became a bit of a theory that maybe on one of the richest states where they had some exotic animals, one of them got out and it was the one menacing the countryside. Something like a hyena. And obviously- A jackal. The local villagers don't know what a jackal looks like. I don't know what a jackal is. Well, you're a French villager.

Wait, no, you're a wolf. Jeez, I'm throwing a lot of accusations at you. Oh, you're a French villager. Wait, no, you're a wolf. Jeez, I'm throwing a lot of accusations at you. Oh, you're a French villager. You're a wolf. I'm losing it. Hyenas aren't very big, though, are they? And they're usually like, don't they, like, come along and, like, eat carcasses later?

Yeah, scavengers. Yeah, that's right. So, every theory seems to have, it's like, oh, these three things line up that it's a hyena, but they don't behave like this. So, that probably rules out a hyena. And jackals are little. I've just Googled them. Do they have big ears?

Yeah. Big pointy ears. Almost like, they're sort of foxy. Was it a Bruce Willis film, The Jackal? That was. Yeah. I remember watching that.is film, The Jackal? That was. Yeah. I remember watching that. A film from 1997.

You can remember that one scene where he makes a guy hold up a pack of cigarettes to test a gun? That's the scene I remember as well. That's the only scene I remember. Same. And then the sights off a bit where he blows the guy's arm off. Yeah. Whoops. He was a bad guy, that Jackal.

He was a bad guy. Honestly. But the way Bruce played him, still couldn. He was a bad guy. Honestly. But the way Bruce played him, still couldn't help but root for him. Yeah. That's it, Bruce. Good on you, Brucey. Blow that arm off.

All right. So, the hunt begins. Lafont starts going, we need to do something about this beast. Due to an unusual agreement from four and a half centuries earlier. Love these things that are just like, there's a piece of paper somewhere saying this, so that's what it is. And this thing from 450 years earlier had the Bishop of Mende,

who was also the Count of the Gévaudan, co-ruled the diocese with the King of France. It was this weird thing where in that area the bishop was equal to the king. Right. So it's just this weird thing that was written on a piece of paper somewhere from 450 years ago. So that's just how it was. Wow. So Lafont went to the bishop and told him of the beast,

but the bishop was not concerned. Oh, my God. The bishop is the beast. Wow. Oh, my God. Rem bishop is the beast. Wow. Oh, my God. Remind me of that later. I hadn't put that together, but we might have a great theory going here. Wow.

That's good stuff. Holy shit. Hold on, Jess. A wolf would say that. You're trying to pass the blame to anyone you can? Oh, the bishop sounds like he could be the wolf. Certainly not me. Jess Perkins.

Sorry. Something in my throat. Jess Perkins. So he told the bishop, and the bishop was like, no, I'm not concerned. And he said it was actually a good thing that this beast was in the neighbourhood. Okay. It's just a message from God reminding the people to keep heeding the Ten Commandments. Oh, right.

That's what the beast is going around. Killing kids. Isn't that what a wild way to interpret that? God, he communicates in mysterious ways. Yeah. When he sends a ravenous beast killing kids, we go, you've got to heed those Ten Commandments. This is clearly a reminder to double your donation

to me and the church. Yeah. And it's a great lesson to remember. Thou shalt not kill. Yes. He's showing you what not to do. Treat the beast as you'd like to be treated. That's right.

Okay. Just leave it alone and let it kill you. Wouldn't you like that? Yeah. The golden rule. So this wasn't a response Lafont was looking for he was wary of causing panic in the public though by publicizing the beast because a lot of people didn't know about it still because of the way the communities were set up but in the end he decided that

spreading the word was important because it means that they could you know maybe be a bit more careful when they're out in a paddock alone stop sending 11 year old kids out to the paddock yes he also did that was one of the reasons he didn't really want to do that because you know, maybe be a bit more careful when they're out in a paddock alone. Stop sending 11-year-old kids out to the paddock. Yes. He also did, that was one of the reasons he didn't really want to do that because, you know, the whole area's economy was based on farming and produce and stuff. So, yeah, it was a delicate balance. Should we just leave these kids out there?

Anyway. And more than that, he decided the beast must be destroyed. This is the main thing. We destroy the beast and the beast is no longer a problem in a lot of ways. Okay. This is Beauty and the Beast. They want to go out and kill the beast. But the beast, what's he doing wrong?

Was that set in France? Yes. Did he murder multiple children? I don't think so. Okay, then he's fine. He's just living in a castle. They Disney-ified it, though, didn't they? Yeah.

So he started going about getting this beast destroyed, and he did that by writing some letters. He wrote to a local nobleman, Count Jean-François Charles de la Moule, and he then visited the Count's estate. And the two- Which Count? Yeah. Count Jean-Françis Charles de la Moule?

How do you say Charles in French? Charles. Charles. Did you say that? Maybe. I think I said Charles de Gaulle. Yeah. That's more what you said the first time.

Okay. The second time it was just. Yeah. If you make me repeat any of this, it will vary greatly. I know. That's the fun for us. Oh. Now you get it. I'm just a's the fun for us. Oh. Now you get it.

I'm just a dancing monkey. You big dumb idiot. He visited the count at his estate, and the two made plans to enlist local peasants and other noblemen to begin the hunt immediately. In the meantime, the killings continued. Around 7pm on the 6th of September, a 36-year-old woman known as the local witch. 36-year-old woman known as the local witch. 36-year-old woman known as the local witch. We all know her. He just said known as the local witch quite defensively, didn't he?

She was in her garden harvesting rosemary, possibly to brew a tonic for a neighbour. Or just to roast some spuds. Yeah, that's true. Delicious. We're speculating here, but that would be fantastic. Bit of garlic and rosemary. Oh, my God. There's nothing better, mate. My mouth is watering. Crack some sea salt over the top. That's true. Delicious. We're speculating here, but that would be fantastic. A bit of garlic and rosary. Oh, my God. There's nothing better, mate.

My mouth is watering. Crack some sea salt off the top. Oh, God. Okay. Unfortunately, she's out there amongst the rosemary when she is attacked and killed by the beast. What? Unlike the other attacks which occurred in remote fields,

this one happened metres from her front door. Even at home, you were no longer safe from Lebed. You would think that if anyone's going to be safe, it would be the local witch. Yeah. Right? Hex him, you idiot. Come on, defend him. Stab him in the asses and rosemary sprigs.

It sounds like they said the local witch, but it sounds more like the local pharmacist, probably. Yeah. At a local church, a 12-year year old boy named claude marines was attending with his family there the priest brought up the beast just saying hey everyone so you know and this is how the word started spreading priests in the various diocese and i just casually hey by the way there's a bit of a beast going on a rampage keep your eyes peeled for that uh he also mentioned it's like the community notices.

Yeah. Also, Fred's got a car for sale, 160,000 clicks on the dash, but apparently it's in good nick. Yeah. Also, a beast has been savaging some children. There's going to be a bake sale on Sunday. Sorry, what? Gold cone donations to go towards- Sorry, what was that last thing you said?

Repairing the roof in the- I said bake sale. But the money from the bake in, I said, bake sale. But the money from the bake sale, honestly, George, is going towards fixing the roof of the church. Sorry, before the bake sale? No, Fred's car. Fred's car, 160 clicks. But you know how he is with his car?

It's been meticulously looked after. Sorry, a little bit further along. Excuse me, I'm still talking. He's saying 10KONO. Did you say there's a beast? Yes, the car is a beast. Absolute beast. It's got a V8 donk under the hood.

Donk. So, yeah, the priest mentioned the beast, also mentioned that Lafont and the Count were organising hunts and that the church's parishioners would be expected to be involved. The men in attendance apparently weren't happy. They're like, oh, great, we got work to do. We can't go around killing some beast. But then the priest said, but there is a handsome reward. And they said, okay, we're listening.

And then more and more men joined the hunt, but with little success. Then on September the 16th, Claude, who was with his family in the church, took his family's cattle out to graze. And according to Schwalbe and Romero, Claude was said to be small for his age, but he was a scrapper. Ask me a bit of you, Dave. Yeah, I'm a real scrapper. Unfortunately. I'm small for my age Yeah, I'm a real scrapper. Unfortunately.

I'm small for my age. But I'm going to get bigger. Unfortunately, no, although that was not the case for Claude. He was no match for the Beast. He never returned home that evening and his body was later found. He was yet another in a long line of victims of the Beast of the Gévaudan. Damn, I thought he was going to, you know, fight him off if he was a scrapper, but sadly not.

Yeah. Was Claude an adult? I missed that part. No, he's a child as well. God damn it. They keep sending out, now they're hearing about it. There's a beast. It's probably back in the day too where they have way too many kids.

So they're probably like, off you go, Claude. Off you go, number three. He's got the least potential. And they're like, well, if we're Claude. Off you go, number three. He's got the least potential. And they're like, well, if we're going to risk anybody. Yeah, we'll send out number 17. He's small for his age. I can't remember his name. Courtner Schwalben Romero, the priest recorded Claude's death

and saw to the burial of his remains. The authorities pronounced this death, like the beast's other fatalities, as, quote, non-natural. Non-natural, wow. Which I think means not natural. Okay. Or maybe not unusual. Tom Jones.

That's Tom Jones. Sorry. This was unusual. It's not natural to be loved by anyone. Tom, it is. It's not natural. Come on, Tom. Tom, love is natural.

Tom. Tom. He's like, love is yuck. Oh, it's just because you haven't done it. Come on, Tom. Yeah, Tom Jones hasn't done it. I'm talking about being in love. I'm being loved.

Oh, no. He's fucked. Oh, yeah. He's never been loved. He's fucked, but he's never made love. That's right. And there is a difference. There is a big difference, I've been told.

Which one have you done? I've done a third new one. The man. Which one have you done? I've done a third new one The mat The mat Wanna come home and mat? I wanna mat you so hard I was matting all night long Sorry I'm late guys I was matting all night long. Sorry, I'm late, guys. I was matting all night long.

That's so silly. So, you might be thinking, this beast is never going to get done. Get done? It's never going to get done. It's never going to get done. This is an unstoppable beast. For sure. It's probably still out there.

Never going to get done. Well, later that very week, on September the 20th, Never going to get done. This is an unstoppable beast. For sure. It's probably still out there. Never going to get done. Well, later that very week, on September the 20th, local villagers had taken down a large wolf they believed to have been the beast. Whoa. They were paid a reward of 18 livres, which is probably not how it's pronounced, but I'm going to stop saying that because it goes without saying that the things I'm saying is not how they're pronounced. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're trying.

And these livre's were the French currency of the time. And this was three times the amount of a normal wolf-killing reward. So there was a standard wolf-killing reward, I guess, of six livre's. So this is a triple reward. Okay. Each livre apparently contained about four and a half grams of silver. This is back when money actually meant something. Now it's just blip, blop, blip.

Yeah. Oh, some little numbers in your little magical wallet. Yeah, come on. Okay. Oh, some ones and zeros, is it? Blip, blop, blip. Okay. Back in the day of the livre, it was actual silver, okay?

Get your head around it. Royal Bank of Australia or whatever you're called. Yeah. Is that what the R is? Uh-uh. Yeah. Is it? Philip Lowe.

Philip Lowe, you Lowe dog. You fucking dog. You dog. Nah, good on you. Nah, fuck. Nah. Whatever, all right. Bit of local content there.

French people enjoy that, I'm sure. And I'm sure we're going to have a big spike in French listeners because this is a story they, I'm sure, have not heard enough about. So they caught a big wolf. Got a big wolf. They think it's the beast. Okay, so we're done. Great.

Great. 18 lives. Great. And this is basically they just had to wait and see. The only way you know that it was the beast is if I text up. Text up, That's right. Why not just check that wolf's belly for bones? Oh, that's what they should have done.

Yeah. There's no record of that, but, yeah, surely that's what you've done. Seems like little John's in there. Yeah. Going, help me. Oh, there you go. Got him. Did you go on the front or back door, little John?

That's weird. So they're waiting. A week goes by, no more killings. Eight days go by week goes by no more killings eight days go by there's no more killings great nine days go by there's another killing so they caught an innocent wolf yes wow yeah wolf who's just trying to avoid them yeah all of a sudden the beast is like huh okay well if it's okay for you to do then it's okay for me to do and they're like you've already been doing it he's like well no you've given me the okay so i'm gonna start killing you've already been killing yeah if you count from now yeah yeah i'll start killing you've been doing it yeah thanks man appreciate the support off to kill now for the first time

at about 4 30 p.m on the 29th of september 1764 madeline moray was checking in on her family's cattle in the pasture when she was set upon and killed by the beast i have a theory and that is this is a copycat wolf okay first wolf's been taken out first beast another wolf is stepping up right that's my theory filling the shoes yeah yeah maybe it's a literal copycat like a cougar or whatever you said before panther yeah yeah man it turned out this is just a small house that's a cat with a thirst for blood a little tabby when madeline died obviously lafonte and everyone in the know was like ah crap And do they have to pay the money back? No, they still-

Oh, cool. What are you going to do? I've already spent it, mate. Yeah. It's been eight days. Yeah, come and get it. Come and get it. From my tummy.

It's gone. I went to the pub. Sorry, le pub. It's gone. According to Schwalb and Romero, it was becoming colder in the Gévaudan. In October, there were about a dozen attacks and five deaths. Wow. In one month?

Yeah, more than one per week. A dozen attacks and five deaths. So some people are being attacked and not dying. Yeah, quite a lot. Wow. It's probably about one in three get killed. Shit. And the others survive.

But do the wolf go back to finish them off? No. Like knock on their front door? Oh, yeah. I didn't get you. Yeah. And the others survive. But do the wolf go back to finish him off? No. Like knock on their front door? Oh yeah. I didn't get you. But I'm back. I always finish a job. He's the finisher. Played by Jason Statham. Jason Statham is this wolf. Jason Statham is the beast

of the Gévaudan. I know I will not be doing a French accent. That's it. I'm getting the text. He's like, he gobbles it up. You've just been wolfed down. Stuff like that. Yeah.

That's great. Very cool stuff. And then he dives off a diving board or something. Yeah. Okay. Some diving. Hi, you watch a lot of Statham DJs. Oh, wait, that's just...

Isn't that one of his cliches? The kill then dive? Yeah, he does. He stabs someone in the throat then does a perfect pin drop. Well, he was a diver, so... Oh, my God. Yeah. No wonder he works in all his films. Was he really? He's a com-gamer.

He's a com-gamer. He's a com-gamer. You can watch him on YouTube. Is there anything this man can't do? Oh, French accent. French accent. No, he can. He won't. He refuses. I'm very good, actually.

I'm actually very good at it. No, I can't do it. What makes you think I'd risk my life for you? I can actually do a very good French accent. Thank you very much. There you go. I'm the Megalodon. Or as you say, La Megalodon. I'm the Megalodon. Or as you say, la Megalodon.

I'm la Megalodon. So, yes, winter's hitting or, you know, at least autumn into winter. There's more deaths. October has five deaths, more than one a week. And this month would also witness a new and more macabre development. Oh, my God. This bit's a little full on if you're squeamish, but again, I won't go into too much details.

The body of a young woman who was 20 was discovered, but not until the following day was her head found. Schwalbe and Romero ask, could an animal cause a human decapitation? And then they answer their question. Yes. That's a good question to pose then. Okay, great.

Was that one author asking the other? Yeah, that might have been it. Yeah, Schwab, yes. Yes. Okay, dumb question. Don't write this down as well. Why are you still typing? We work great together, Romero.

This is all good stuff. I love you. This is all good stuff. I love you. I'm the Romero of the podcast. She's an idiot, but we love her. I'm the Schwab. Schwab.

They go on to say, yes, it could. Experts tell us us that large predators teeth could get the job done oh wow the viciousness of the attacks combined with the predators hurried transport of the rains to a secluded location in which to consume their prey in peace might result in the dislodging of the head from the torso that's awful here's a more i knew that that was a pretty grim and grisly uh fact of of the story so i quite quickly derailed it to something silly of the writers though but i'm i'm following it up with probably my favorite thing that i read through the whole um story apparently on multiple occasions when the beast attacked uh a herd or shepherd or herder mainly. The cattle, because the sheep were useless,

but the cattle stepped up and defended their young human carers. Whoa. Isn't that sick? That's so good. So around this time it happened, but it happened multiple times. The beast was coming in for a herder, but then the bovines came to its defense they would bellow shake their heads at the attacker sort of charge at shaking their heads looking big

wow uh they they'd kick and generally use their big bodies as a shield sometimes they would circle the herder to create a barrier between them and the beast. And, yeah, quite a few times actually saved their lives. Wow. You stupid cow. They're herding you to kill you. Now you're protecting them. Yeah, but they bring food.

So I love this kid. They take us to a nice little creek. They don't know about the betrayal yet. Yeah. That's so nice. If a cow saves your life, you can't eat it. I agree. I think that's a great rule.

I think I've just converted some people to at least cow vegetarians. I eat a little bit of chicken now. And, like, what's a chicken ever done for me, you know? Imagine if you're circled by chickens. That would be a nuisance, if anything. Fuck off. chickens that would be a nuisance if anything fuck off the wolf's like oh my god this half dozen chickens are coming for me again i wish we were filming this he's fully chickening He's fully inhabiting the role of the chicken. There's wings, there's facial expression.

Very expressive eyes, chickens. Yeah, wow. That was a chicken saying, what? What do you got? You want to go? You want to go? You want to go? Yeah.

Come at me. You want to try and take my chicken boy? You got shepherds, you got herders. What's a- Yeah, chicken boy. Chicken boy. Or can you call him a chicken tender? Are you the pun master or are you the pun master?

That's a pun. That's a pun. Isn't it? It feels like a shame that puns like that, very clever, but for some reason they're awful. They're so bad. You go, ah. It's really like, all right, you think you think of a better one yeah i don't know what that is is that something we're conditioned to or a puns just shit yeah it's strange because you're like that's pretty clever

fuck you you smug prick stuff like that yeah maybe that's it maybe it's just in the delivery of puns because because quite often puns are something like a head. Yeah. Eyebrows raising. Or could you call them a chicken tender? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you're saying, get it? Yeah, exactly.

Maybe it's the delivery. You know dry comedy? It's wet comedy. It's sopping wet. Yes. But if I'd just gone, oh, chicken tender, we probably just would have moved on and gone. But you've really got to emphasise what you mean. But then we would have got tweets like, Dave,

they didn't acknowledge that incredible joke. Going back and editing some episodes, I realise all the jokes went up because I'm doing the reports that I'm editing, which I don't really do anymore because we've got a great editor named AJ. I don't know if we should have publicly outed him. But you still listen back to the episode. Yes. And I hear myself just missing great jokes you do.

Yeah. And I'm talking about great jokes. Things like chicken tender. Yeah. If Dave wasn't such a fucking sopping wet boy over there, dripping with punny juices. What are we talking about? Yeah, so I just love that idea about the cows.

Yeah, the cows are stepping up. I love it. I have cried at a video of a dog protecting its child owner. Oh, that's enough. Like, a lot of dogs also put themselves right in harm's way throughout this whole ordeal. Wow. A bunch of them will go and they'll take much smaller dogs comparatively

smaller than a pug smaller some even smaller than a pug took it on like fully uh protecting the family you're like ah you gotta love that that's so nice what was the dog protecting the baby from another dog like a little kid and its dog were like playing in the front yard and like the mum was nearby and another dog came running from across the street and the pet dog like immediately put himself in between the other dog and the kid and like chased him off and kept sort of putting himself in front of the kid it was really sweet that's mum got in there very quickly and picked the kid up and somebody else got the other dog it was you know it was everybody was doing the right thing, but it was just really nice to see this dog like, no fucking way. The dog just changed from like bouncing around having a lovely time

to then like, I'll fuck you if I have to. I'll fucking kill you. There is a story that I don't go into too much details of later that is so similar to that. A mum with her two kids and their dog and the dog goes there and the mum's there and she becomes like a bit of a national hero. Wow. My dog would be like, see ya.

Good luck. Hey, Root. Going back to my bed. I'm going back to Dad. He's my favourite. Fucking idiot. Your limp body would be there and it would piss on you. He probably would.

I love him. That's how he shows affection, I assume. He just takes a piss. Others would see it as contempt, but I'm pretty sure it's affection. So, as it turns out, you know, we're talking about how they're recruiting a lot of peasants. So, there's big hunts going on, couple of nobles and then all the manpower is the peasant class and they were probably lucky to have the cows because they're at a distinct disadvantage compared to the nobility connor schwalben romero in consequence of laws put in

place centuries earlier nobles alone could possess and use firearms oh Oh, my God. So, they were out on these hunts, basically, with sharpened sticks. Boxing gloves. Yep. Come on. Put them on. Come on. Somebody's just going to yell some firm words at that beast. These were their weapons.

They had words. Use your words. Prayers. That's where the saying, use your words, comes from. Yeah, right. You come at me also. I will also. I'm very litigious.

Litigious. So, yeah, so they had these sharpened sticks. You would think in this sort of setting, maybe give them some guns. And our man Lafont, who seems like the, I mean, he comes across as the sort of the level-headed one in all of this, just wants to, you know, sort this out. Stop people dying. There's other people with big

egos around and the peasants who are just trying to survive but he's in the middle sort of seemingly um so he had to fight for amazingly but eventually won the temporary legislation or legalization sorry for anyone to be able to bear arms in his local area for the purpose of hunting the beast what a funny like like having to fight for that is a funny idea. Yeah. It feels like a bit of a no-brainer. It does feel a little bit common sense. But common sense, not that common.

Do you have any other French there? Nah, it's just something boomers say. Oh, okay. Not like it was back in our day. Yeah, when everybody had common sense and nobody had a playstation what sense was honestly it was very everyone had it you should have played outside the nostalgic stories of and it's people like of my age like of all ages but you'll hear those nostalgic stories and then they'll follow it up with a story from back in the day about some asshole.

Yeah. You're like, everyone back in my day had respect. Yeah. And then five minutes later, they'll be off on a tangent going, anyway, Janine, she was such a rude asshole. And I hate her. And that's why I burnt down her trampoline. And people don't do that these days. They don't stand up for themselves.

Hang on. We've gone in such a weird circle here. So, he was able to get guns in peasants' hands. Good idea. But on top of that, he was also able to have the reward increase significantly to 200 liveries. Ooh. Wow. I remember 18 was seen as pretty good.

200 was equal to a year's salary for a day laborer. Wow. So it had become a big, big reward. But amongst all this, the attacks continued. According to Schwalbe and Romero, on October the 8th, a 12-year-old boy named Jean Ritour was savaged but survived. He lived on to the age of 76, becoming a priest, but his scars told the story of his harrowing encounter with the beast.

So he had scars for the rest of his life. And this was a common story. Those who survived the attacks lived on but with physical and mental scars for the rest of their days. There's one woman who was attacked, I think, a year or so from now, and she becomes known as the French term for Scarface. Okay. It becomes her name.

That's nice, isn't it? It seems like there's so many people around. There's, like, literally hundreds of people who survived these attacks, but she's the one who got the name. She must be stoked with that. Yeah, that'd be so cool. Because usually I hear these stories of these beasts, and I think, yeah, whatever.

Someone saw it out in the desert somewhere. Okay. But this, hundreds of people have seen it, right? That's right. Hundreds of people have been attacked. So, there's something out there. It's big in the cryptozoology world, but it existed as something. It's got to be something.

But, you know, like while Mulder's saying this is a werewolf or this is, like, a devil beast, Scully's going, there's got to be some Kermit Scully. There's got to be some sort of explanation for this, Mulder. And I wonder if it is just one. Yeah, see, that's what the Scullies are saying. This just sounds like it's multiple wolves. Yeah, it's a pack of wolves or something.

Yes, exactly. Who are behaving quite odd. Because, honestly, they'd be full. Yeah. And, you know, you come back having just been attacked by a wolf, you're probably, to you, it's going to seem more more full on than a normal wolf, probably. You're not used to seeing them right up, you know, literally. And wolves are bigger than you think. I think. Bigger than we think, but not than

you think? I don't know. Because that's a real, what do you call those things that contradict themselves? It's a real paradox what you've just done there a wolf is bigger than i think i think wait hang on how big are wolves but i think they're so that means i think they're bigger than i think they are which means they're bigger than that they measure up to six feet in length six feet in length including tail and about 30 inches in height at the shoulders. Yeah, that's big.

So they're saying it's big for a wolf. What kg is he saying? Well, it's got to be in pounds. But they're also describing it differently, colorations. First type is different. Some people saying face like a calf. Everything different. The big grey wolves are 70 to 115 pounds. Oh, that's not that big, is it?

You get dogs that... Hang on. 70 pounds is 31 kilos. Yeah. That's pretty big, up to 52. It's about as big as you, Dave. It's a big dog. That's your comedy, right?

That's big for me. Yeah. But not big for a dog. Okay. You know, like big, big dogs. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, big, big dogs. Like, you know, you can get Labradors that are 35 kilos.

Yeah, true. But anyway, this is a normal wolf. That's not the size of this beast. So, yeah, but I'm just thinking- But remember your theory was that maybe they think it looks bigger than it is because it's up close. Yeah, yeah. And I was thinking, yeah, maybe it is-

Because I was thinking if wolves are bigger than I think, according to Jess, she thinks, that maybe they're like 100 kilos. But, yeah, six feet long is longer than I think, according to Jess, she thinks, that maybe they're like 100 kilos. But, yeah, six feet long is longer than I was expecting. So, they must be pretty slim. Including tail, unless the tail is five foot long. Yeah, yeah. They're all tail.

They're actually part of the snake family. They're all tail. I mean, they are smaller than a Great Dane, so who cares? But you see Great Danes walking around the park, you're like, that's a fucking horse. I wouldn't want to fight a Great Dane, so who cares? But you see Great Danes walking around the park, you're like, that's a fucking horse. I wouldn't want to fight a Great Dane. No, but they're quite lazy apparently. Thank God. They've got apartment dogs.

Isn't that crazy? Really? Yeah, they're lazy. They sleep a lot. I guess they'd work as a coffee table. Yes. Or a poof. Put your feet up on them.

What were we talking about? I don't know. Sorry. I went off on a tangent. Never apologise. Or a poof Put your feet up on them What were we talking about? I don't know Sorry I went off on a tangent Never apologise I was like They're bigger than I think Well we were talking about the reward

Yeah the reward Because now they're all going out Because it's worth like a year's wages And now the peasants have the guns So game on Wolfie And yes We had the boy Jean Ritu who survived. Yeah. Became a priest.

And then Scarface. Scarface, yes. Only a few hours later after the priest, the priest boy was attacked, the beast was seen on the grounds of the Chateau de l'Ebume, which is the big castle in the area, which had the nickname of

Le Petit Versailles de Gévedon. The small Versailles of Gévedon. Is that pretty fun? Yeah. It was a big castle in the area. Well, it's a small Versailles, which is a very big castle. Which is actually bigger than you think, Versailles. The beast had its eye on another young herdsman

in the grounds of Le Petit Versailles de Gévedon. But hunters got after it and it fled into the estate's woods. Peasants were given the job of being beaters. All right, peasants, come around. We've got a job for you. Peasants, come around. You're allowed to have guns now. We don't have any give you. We've got a come around. You're allowed to have guns now. We don't have any give you.

We've got a better job. You're going to be the beaters. Oh, what do we do? Well, what you do is you go into the bush where the wolf is, unarmed, and make a big racket. Really make yourself known. We'll give you a full drum kit. Yeah, basically we'll give you some sticks.

We'll give you just make a real racket. One of those one-man bands with the cymbals cymbals between the knees basically you just go in there make a lot of noise and uh you rustle out and then we'll you know we'll take the shot and the reward even though you've taken the risk of going right up to it so this was the plan they knew the beast was in these woods we'll send in the peasants send in the peasants amazingly oh or not this worked the wolf was sort of scared out by the noise out in the open but he's poor people yeah they're close they're classless it was just, out in the open. But hey, it's poor people. Yeah. They're close. Very close. Le Pong. Le Pong.

It was just hanging out in the small chateau, and now it's got these poor people's Le Pong-y on it. It's like, oh, these woods, they've gone to the dogs. Back to Schwalbe and Romero. The beast was spotted and had at last become prey itself. And so its hunters took aim, fired, and hit their target. Oh. But to their astonishment, the animal fell, only to rise and run on.

No. Another shot, and again success. The creature dropped. But through the thick white smoke of gunpowder, they witnessed the same phenomenon. The beast scrambled to its feet and took off once again. Around this time, it started to get the reputation of being bulletproof. Whoa. That's not what you want.

No. No, no. That is inconvenient. Yeah. Especially when guns is your best form of attack against it. Yeah, what else have you got? Bazookas? Do they have bazookas yet?

I don't know if bazookas. They're only a couple of years away from bazookas. Unfortunately, it was believed the beast was bazooka-proof. Typical. Oh, my God. Blowing it up only makes it stronger. It absorbs the power. It becomes a bazooka.

The hunters pursued it until nightfall, anxious to finish off the wounded animal and resume the next morning pre-dawn. 200 men scoured the woods of Chateau de l'Eboum, hoping to find the deceased beast. But it was not to be. It had vanished. Not to beast. Not to beast.

To beast or not to beast. It had vanished. It vanished. It's gone. Even though it had been shot twice. So, clearly, they're like, it's wounded. It's probably gone somewhere quiet to just die and we'll find the carcass. But it was gone.

Oh, my God. Did they check the local hospital? They should have done a ring around. Has anyone come in with two bullet wounds? Long shot here. Also, they're a wolf. But with, like, a calf face. You'll know it if you see it

You'll know what I'm talking about If you don't know, you haven't seen it Thanks anyway Better keep moving Yell if you see anything Alright, alright Hours later So they've sort of given up

It's vanished Hours later, the creature was observed travelling with a limp. Sorry, you sound like travelling on a train or something. Travelling via plane. In first class. As far away from the peasant as possible. It's a real classist and socialistic. This is a picture of it sitting back, reading a paper, legs crossed.

And then when someone goes, excuse me, are you the beast? Get this all the time. Sorry, no autographs today. I'm with my family. I'm nursing an injury. I'd really just like some rest. So, spotted with a limp. Spotted with a limp and soon after attacked another herd boy.

My God, you're right. You think if it is the same beast, which it sounds like it is, surely it's full after eating a boy. Yeah. For like a couple of days. For a couple of days. A couple of days. But this thing, it eats a boy a day.

And it also seems like- It's crazy. The metabolism is extraordinary. People are starting to go, it doesn't seem to be motivated by hunger. It just seems to want to kill humans. It's just blood thirst. Yeah, that's what it seems like. Wow.

On October the 10th, a youth was injured by the beast. A youth? At dusk on the same day, the beast ambushed three siblings, a boy of 12, a boy of six, and a girl about 10 years of age. It seized the terrified girl and started to make off with her when she was torn from its jaws by her brothers, who pricked the beast with their sticks with knives attached to the top. Oh, my gosh. So, they poked it with these knife sticks and saved their sister's life.

It's not like they've got their own- And again, it's gone for the girl, not the little boy. Yeah, isn't that interesting? Un-fucking-believable Yeah what is the deal beast Oh and then the brothers had to save their sister Damsel in distress Bullshit Who's writing this

She can save herself boys This is hack If my brother was trying to save me I'd say leave it I can do it myself And you're wriggling out of the jaws I'm stabbing from inside Now let me go now stop it

stop it down down beast so yeah when i said the funny thing the weird thing over the letter and you said not weird different you're right but it's that one it's it's la bette but it's the e so b e t e but the first E has like a roof on it. You know, like a triangle without the bottom. Yep. What does that do to an E? An upside down V. Yeah.

I don't know what it does. It's a much more efficient way of saying it. No, but you were acting it out, which was fun. You were the E. It was very cute, but useless because I don't know. Dave, you're studying French? Yeah. You haven't got to little hats, e-hats yet?

No. People are yelling at their iPods right now. I poods. I'm just about to tell it you said I pood. Jess. I pood. Jess, let us know. We can have a break if...

This is Matt and Apu. Apu, you're listening to me. This show must go on. Schaub and Romero. Two of the greats. Continue. Then a woman was killed on October 11th and a second decapitation occurred on October 15th.

My God. The beast was again spotted, this time by Jean-Pierre Peuchere, who was working alone in a barn shortly before nightfall. He grabbed his gun and fired. The creature fell but got to his feet once again. Jean-Pierre fired again and the animal fell once more, but it got up for the second time. Oh, it was like a fucking Terminator, this thing.

Yeah. Made a wild cry, apparently, according to Jean-Pierre. What did that sound like? Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Why? Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.. Oh. I'm a bad. I'm a bad. I'm a bad. I'm a bad. I'm a bad. I'm a bad. I'm a times. Yeah. My favourite part about some of this bullshit that we do is that there are people that work in this office and they just hear stuff like that. So the new studio is pretty well soundproofed. Not well enough for that? I'll be asking around. Did you hear that?

Did you hear Matt get stabbed? Shot three times and get back up? Remember at the third, this is the third Stupid Old Studios. At the original one, the walls of the pod studio, two of them were curtains. And Aunty Donna used to rehearse. They probably are now, but we just can't hear them. But back then, it would just bleed in through.

And we assumed it would be caught by the mics. Apparently, we'd mention it off in early episodes, but no one could hear it. I think there were episodes where people could hear them. Oh, could they? Because there's a bit of screaming from those boys. Yeah, yelling out cum and stuff like that. Yeah.

They've done it again. That's back then. They've probably, I don't know if they're doing a lot of cum stuff anymore. Still a fair bit of cum stuff. But, yeah, these days we can't even hear it. And I lived at that studio. Yeah. And the bedroom at that studio. Yeah. And the bedroom walls were as thin as anything.

I think maybe it was like a thick piece of paper, I think, was used for the walls. Yes, yes. Cardboard, a cardboard. A paper with a real heft to it. A high GSM. So I'd wake up some days to all sorts of sounds being made. Dr. Brown used to run classes there, clowning classes.

I'd wake up, like, some of it would creep into your dreams. You'd have, like, a pretty wild dream and then you'd wake up and go, oh, clowns. There's a clown in class. And the clowns are not in my dream. They're in my house. The clowns are coming from inside the building. Anyway, so, yeah, it's been shot multiple times again, which at least puts it off.

Wouldn't it be disheartening, though, that you're like, about to get a year's wages for a reward? Yeah. Oh, well, at least I guess it left. That's not a bad. Hopefully it's not coming back. Hopefully it doesn't hold a grudge. Well, at least I guess it left. That's not a bad- Yeah, hopefully it's not coming back. Yeah. Hopefully it doesn't hold a grudge. Well, this beast.

Wouldn't put it past it. As news of the beast continued to spread by churches and whatnot, the fear was rapidly bringing local commerce to a halt. And with good reason, you'd think. Peasants and tradespeople were afraid to head to their jobs in the fields or the markets. I reckon that's fair enough. I reckon I'd be getting to the point where I'd probably be working from home.

Hard to do that as a herdsman. Yeah. Send the kids out. If there was, like, a beast somewhere in this studio, I'd be saying, let's record somewhere else. Okay. Until it's dealt with, you know. God, you're a coward.

Yeah, I am a coward, though. You have no, like, it's just so unprofessional. Yeah, no loyalty. No loyalty, no dedication to the craft Yeah what about the listeners out there Well I know they'll you know The show would finish with a blood curdling Scream each week as one of us is taken

Down which would sound like Oh Oh god Come on Guys Why me There's others here Broden's Come on. Don't do a part of- Guys. Why me? There's others here.

Come on. What have I done? Broden's got a lot of meat in his bones. Go kill Broden. No, it's a lot of like muscle. Oh, is muscle not good to eat? I imagine it would be quite like chewy. I always thought muscle was the good stuff.

Yeah, I don't know actually. Huh. We need to ask a cannibal. Yeah. We got it. Should we bring back that old segment we used to do, ask a cannibal? Yeah, I think we should. Just to check in on the cannibal too. Dave, you can be the cannibal this week.

Okay. Now, thanks so much for joining us for our weekly segment, Ask the Cannibal. Great to be here. Now, cannibal. Feeling quite hungry, but yes. Apologies if this is a common question that's asked. What's better to eat, muscle or fat? My preference is all of the above.

Okay. Maybe we shouldn't ask a cannibal. Who would you ask? Like, what would be- But, like, yeah, what is meat, if not, like, muscle? Sorry, cannibal, thanks for joining us. That was very rude. Yeah, sorry, I've moved on.

What are you guys doing for lunch? Back in your cage, cannibal. I'm caged. I love that voice you put on, too, for the character. That was fantastic. You really embodied the cannibal. Cannibal Craig. Cannibal Craig.

I can't hear the difference. Wait, what are we talking about again? I know. I keep forgetting what I'm talking about. Oh, I meet. It's been shot a couple of times. Oh, that's right. Grown and being eaten.

Yes. Retracing our steps and we find out just how insane we sound. So, they're getting a bit desperate and they're starting to come up with, you know, new tactics. Some of them a bit grim, including this one. Old mate, the Count, Count Jean-Francois Charles de la Moulet, who Lafont first hooked up with months earlier. Oh. Oh, did I not mention that? The Count was still, through all this time,

heading out, leading hunts, a bunch of peasants in tow, unarmed, and he's taken them out. Even though they're now legally allowed to carry guns, there weren't enough guns to go around, so a lot of the peasants, even though they were legally allowed to carry guns. There weren't enough guns to go around, so a lot of the peasants, even though they were legally allowed to have them, were still relying on their sticks and words. Common theory at the time was that the beast could have been

some sort of apex predator from Africa that had escaped a private residence's collection, which I think you've both sort of had a bit of a stab at earlier. I reckon it could be a camel. Ooh. I had no idea what it looked like. Yeah. That's sort of got a face of a stab at earlier. I reckon it could be a camel. Ooh. I had no idea what it looked like. Yeah. That's sort of got a face of a calf.

Yeah. And a taste for blood. Yeah. And sort of longish hair. That'd be pretty quick. Yeah. Yeah, and these wintry alpine-like conditions. Yeah, perfect conditions.

I mean, a camel is sort of like a living mountain, you know? Holy shit. Oh, my God. So, if you want to be- Blend in. living mountain, you know? Holy shit. Oh, my God. So, if you want to be- Blend in. Mountain conditions, you want to blend in. Yeah. Go with it.

Send in the living mountain. That's right. This all makes sense. Yeah. So, if Charles Barkley's not available, round bound or rebound, send in the camel. So, the Count's thinking that- He personally thinks this is what it is. It's some sort of African animal.

He's thinking the oncoming winter will sort this thing out. An African animal's not going to enjoy being out in the snow. But this turned out to be wishful thinking. As it turned out, the snowy conditions probably hindered the hunters more than the hunted. Many hunt days were cancelled due to the weather, while the beast continued on its killing spree. They're like, it's raining outside, I can't be bothered. Fairly like a full-on snow and stuff, they're like, they planned this big day, hundreds of people were ready to go,

and they're like, it's actually pretty grim out there. It's actually going to kill more of us. Yeah. But the conditions are awesome for skiing, and that sounds fun. Let's go skiing! Let's go. I mean, we've already all taken the day off work. We've got a full metre of the good stuff. Get out there.

Cut to them doing snow angels. Just having a really nice- It was actually a really beautiful moment of community bonding. That's great. Brought them in. This is what they needed. Brought them in. Brought them in together.

This is what they needed. This is what France needed, a snow day. I was always jealous of, like, American movies and stuff where they had a snow day. Oh, school gets cancelled and they all run out into the street. That looks so fun. Yeah, we didn't have any. The best we had was hot weather day things where they, like, shorten lunch and I think you have to leave earlier and they went around the playground with a hose.

Yeah, our school. I was about to ask you if your schools would- because ours would turn the sprinklers on on the oval. On the oval and you can run through the sprinklers, yeah. You guys did that too? Yeah, you can run through the sprinkler. But do you not think, like, if we say that to people who live in, like, cold climates or other countries or something, how baffling that sounds? And they would take us out, like, you know, one classroom at a time or, you know, one year level at a time, let the kids run around the oval

in the sprinklers, get soaking wet and then go back to class because it was so hot. We probably didn't have air con. We probably just had ceiling fans. Yes, that's true. It had to be like 40 plus and they'd do that. They'd take us out the sprinklers. That's so cute.

Tell the sprinklers. And it was so much fun. You'd be so excited if the sprinklers were happening. That's almost as good As a snow day Yeah I would have died For a sprinkler Just getting hosed down

Smashed in the face With water What the teachers Got on the jet setting And they're just Targeting you Because you've been A bit of a shit that day

I hadn't thought of that Some of the teachers Would have really enjoyed that Oh yeah I would love that That's why I should Be a teacher. Just a smashing little Johnny in the back of the head.

Oh, did I get you, mate? Sorry about that. Up you get. Up you get. Up you get. That's tough. Up you get. Oh, you're down again, Johnny.

Glad you are clumsy today. Turn. Oh, that does sound very full on. Very clumsy today. You're gaslighting children. Waterboarding a child. Yes. I'm not a teacher, guys. Yeah, very clumsy today. You're gaslighting children, waterboarding a child. Yes. I'm not a teacher, guys.

Yeah, it's okay. Okay. We won't let any kids, it's fine. Not alone. Start to understand Goose. Yeah, he's messed up. He won't protect you, yeah. Yeah.

He's like, thank God, take her. Hosing him down in your apartment. He loves it. So I mentioned but never got to it. The Count decreed a grisly new tactic. They needed a changed tactic. They're like, this isn't working. How do we get it?

Reluctantly, the Count advised that if the beast killed again, the victim's corpse must be left where it was, and they started even treating the corpse with poison. The hope was that the creature would return to its kills. And they thought it had been. So, they're like, we poison it, it goes back to continue feeding. And then we kill it that way. We kill it that way. That's a classic serial killer.

Don't they return to the scene sometimes just to, like, you know, go bury the victim somewhere and go and visit it? Yeah. This thing's twisted. Yeah, this is a twisted beast. It's probably got some trophies. Like the head. and go and visit it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. This thing's twisted. Yeah, this is a twisted beast. It's probably got some trophies. Mm. Like the head.

Yeah, that's right. That's why it's starting to... Doesn't that happen as well with serial killers? Their MO, like, gets more and more full on. That's why it just started decapitating him, you know, a while in, to its journey. It's not the destination for a serial killer. It's about going. Yeah.

And killing. And killing And killing Lafont had stayed in contact with powerful people across France Keeping them abreast of all things Le boot The beast I'm sure I'm saying some other It'd be the boot probably Or something like that

Instead of abreast I've started saying a boob A boob I'll keep you a boob It's a bit of fun It is fun Just in case we want to incorporate that into their vocab Something like that. Instead of a breast, I've started saying a boob. A boob. I'll keep you a boob. It's a bit of fun. It's fun. Just in case anyone wants to incorporate that into their vocab. And do you wait to see if anyone calls you up on it?

I don't really say it outside of my house, to be honest. Oh, okay. It'd be great if you put it in there just to see if people are like, sorry, did you say a boob? Yes. I'll keep you a boob of my ETA. Yeah. I'll keep you a boob. Okay.

All right. Hey, don't finish all that boob. I'm saving a boob of my ETA. Yeah. I'll keep you a boob. Okay. All right. Hey, don't finish all that boob. I'm saving some boob. Okay, I'm saving room for boob. Gotta save some boob. One of these powerful people that Lafont was keeping contact with was military commander Count Moncain. Oh.

Moncain sent more than 50 dragoons to the area to take over the hunt. 50 dragoons? The big guns were coming in. I think dragoons means something like dragons in French. So, it's bringing 50 dragons. But dragoons back then were musket armed soldiers on horseback and on foot. Oh, okay. They did the big two.

At the same time? Yeah. Wow. One on, one off. It was very uncomfortable, but it was kind of their thing. Okay. They were to be captained by one Sergeant Major Jean-Baptiste Boulanger, Monsieur Duhamel.

I'm just going to call him Duhamel. I've had to write in brackets this word more than February and others. I cannot say. It's spelt Monsoir, right? But it said Monsieur. Monsieur. Yeah, man. So I've put it in brackets every time I have to say it,

which is only a couple of times. Anyway, a little peek behind the curtain there. According to Schwalben Romero, the 32-year-old de Humev was eager to set something right after sharing in the collective humbling of the french armed forces in the seven-year war he was there and apparently a lot of people there was a very ego bruising um you know they were they went in thinking you want to start a fight with us france with the big boys and they'll just tail between their legs by the end of it so he specifically requested the mission to destroy the man-eater.

He was convinced that, at this moment, his rightful place in the universe was that of champion-to-be of the ravaged Jevedon. Jevedon. There are many signs of wounded masculinity among the lead huntsmen, Smith says, the historian I quoted before, especially Duhamel. He had a highly sensitive regard for his own honour and had some bad experiences in the war and looked at this challenge of defeating the beast

as his way to redeem himself. Right. So he was all in. He's like, this is my chance. They arrived at the end of October. This is Duhamel and his dragoons. They arrived in full uniform, you know, full old school French army get-ups.

They had the best of the best modern weapons of the day, guns and pistols. Surely Duhamel and his dragoons would finally put an end to Le Bid's reign of terror. Don't know why I said the English words weird, Deb. At this time, the print media was starting to kick off as well. Oh, typical. Sorry, I just, I heard print media was starting to kick off as well typical sorry sorry i just i heard print media and i was a bit triggered sorry the lamestream media uh news of the beast helped sell papers and these sort of early days of the newspapers becoming bigger and bigger and uh obviously it helped sell papers also helped spread awareness

and fear of the beast according to lorraine Bussonet, writing for the Smithsonian, because political news was mostly censored by the king, newspapers had to turn to other sources of information and entertainment to bolster subscriptions. Francois Morayen, creator and editor of the Courier d'Avignon, used a new type of reporting where he took stories of everyday incidents in small villages similar to today's true crime to tell the tale. His reportage, in particular, transformed the beast from a backwater calamity into a national affair. So it's becoming big news nationally now. Huge. Apparently, one paper started selling about three times as many copies

after it started reporting on the beast. So, it was good for business. And this is something people talk about as well. If it wasn't for the newspapers, maybe this story would basically be forgotten. Oh, right. Because it was just so local. Yeah. And at the time, you know, disparate sort of communities and whatnot.

But the other thing is the records of it have been so good that just like people who were reporting on it. And there's so many books mainly written in French apparently movies and all sorts of things but they've got great records still about each death that's why you know all these names not all of them are recorded and one of the things about why they aren't recorded was interesting is because some of the kids died before getting first communion or whatever it was a very catholic country at the time the time, and that basically meant that their names weren't recorded and stuff. Oh.

I guess they weren't quite seen as human yet. Wow. My God. That's probably oversourcing it a bit. In the end, it wasn't only the French papers. It became big international news as well. The Australian papers? Oh, yeah.

The Murdoch Press was all over it. The Moorabbin Standard. I remember delivering a paper about it. Front page news. Oh, the presses. Oh, wow. Yeah. Not a cheveux d'or.

What were you using to get around to deliver the papers? Oh, it was like a proto-penny farthing. The original one had the big wheel at the back. It probably, okay, I was going to say it probably helps to throw them from a height, but if the big wheel's at the back, it's not that helpful. Yeah, my knees were dragging on the ground. It was not very efficient. And it was painful too, to be honest, but it's all we knew.

We're still, like, better than walking. Walking on my knees, anyway. Because they would have been ripped up. Yeah, horribly ripped up. According to Schwalbe and Romero, publications in London, Amsterdam, Brussels, Cologne, Boston and other cities gave coverage to the story of the beast. Amazing. Images were reproduced on tin plates and ceramic ware.

Taxidermy specimen hyenas of the Gévaudan were sold in subsequent years as yard accents. It became a big cultural phenomenon. Wow. Right. But imagine that you're like, my child was absolutely savaged and mauled by this, and you've got a fake one in your front yard for a bit of fun.

For a bit of fun. Feels pretty poor taste. You've got a commemorative plate next to your William and Kate wedding plate. Yeah, I'm imagining these aren't happening in the towns, probably. It's probably in the big smoke, Paris and stuff. Yeah, Cologne think it's funny. Yeah. Down in that place, so we're not even sure if it really exists.

But that's another reason why they're like, it's almost mythical. Down there? The Gévaudan? Yeah, sure. What does that even mean? It's not even on the fucking map. What, you mean the question mark area? Thought that was where the Riddler was from.

The creature reappeared in mid-November, attacking four adults between the 18th and the end of the month. On the 25th, it brought death to 60-year-old widow Catherine Valley with another decapitation. Perhaps even more disturbing, Duhamel, as the count had suggested, used her remains as bait, believing, as had been insisted, the beast would come back for more. It didn't. So, just kind of a final grim insult to the deceased. They just like stuffed her full of poison. Yeah. Put her out in the field and then waited for three days.

Oh, God, that's so grim. Yeah, so sad. So this was obviously frustrating. To help motivate the hunters and to keep their spirits up, the reward was increased to a total. Remember what it was? 200 livres. 200. It was now 4,000 livres.

200 was a year's wage for a labourer, so 4,000. Basically, a small fortune was being offered for the head of the beast. 200 is a year's wage. 4,000. 20 years wage. Holy shit. For us, that's like a billion dollars. We get one twentieth of a billion.

Again, thank you for supporting us on Patreon. One billion dollars. In mid-December, the beast went on another killing spree It's funny that I'm calling it a killing spree It's just one continuous killing spree With little breaks in between Starting fresh every time Trying to quit

Never again Today is the first day of the rest of my killing free life Oh no, I've killed again Tomorrow I promise tomorrow It's a long weekend Tuesday Free life. Oh, no, I've killed again. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. I promise tomorrow. No, well, Monday. Yeah. Oh, it's a long weekend.

Tuesday. Is it? Okay. Well, if it's already Tuesday. Yeah. I'll see you out the week. See you out the week. It makes sense.

And that will take us pretty deep into the month. So, I'll make it to the end of the month. Yeah. Hang on. But that only leaves two more weeks of the semester. So, really. And then there's only one more month to the end of the financial year. I may as well start fresh. Okay. but then tax time is a stressful time and i probably don't want to be going cold turkey then yeah so i know what i'm like

and christmas is just around the corner yeah from the end of financial oh my god and now the hot cross buns on the shelves so really jan, really. January 1st, the buns are out. Typical. Buns out, beasts out. That's what we say. So, in mid-December, the beast is on this killing spree. Almost buns time. Many decapitations.

Oh, no. The victims, including a 45-year-old herder, Catherine Chastang, before taking out another eight victims one by one. People of all ages. No one was safe. But like I say, it was still mainly women and children. Typical. I think this beast had a sort of a Titanic-like...

Yeah. Women and children first. He misunderstood it. It's like, no, to safety. To kill? To eat? Yeah. Okay.

He was a big fan of Cameron's work. James Cameron's work. Well, he is like a fucking Terminator, this guy. He is, isn't he? Despite high hopes, Duhamel and his dragoons were having no luck at all. And apparently super dedicated. He wants to, you know, save his own reputation. Oh, right.

Yeah. So, he's putting everything into it. And the people. He's more interested in his rep. Totally. I need this, he's saying. That does feel a bit like that, yeah. Then in late December, after having no luck for a few months,

he finally set his eyes on the beast back at its old hunting ground, the Chateau de la Boum. La petite Versailles. Unfortunately, though, some of his dragoons, more like some of his buffoons, accidentally spooked the creature and it got away before they could get any shots. They were just setting off some fireworks. I thought it would be pretty. For morale.

It's Christmas. Come on. We do mom. It's Christmas. Come on. Oh, we do this every time of year. Not when we're hunting a beast. I don't want to have to tell you again. Oh, do them all. Fuck, what a party pooper. It's all about the beast with his guy.

So, he's finally seen it, though, and Duhamel described the beast saying, it had a breast as wide as a horse, a body as long as a leopard's. Sorry, Matt. It had a boob as wide as a horse. Sorry. A boob. It had a boob as wide as a horse. It had a body as long as a horse, legs as long as a horse.

I'm fairly certain it was a horse. No, the body was as long as a leopard. And it had fur that was red with a black stripe Concluding, you will undoubtedly think, like I do I love how he said that Now, obviously, based on this description What do you think he's going to say? Is an Essendon supporter?

Pressed as white as a horse Body as long as a leopard's Red with a black stripe Obviously, you'll think like me Essendon supporter, you reckon? What do you think, Jess? Fox Okay Undoubtedly, you'll think like me. Essendon supporter, what do you reckon? What do you think, Jess? Fox. Okay.

Undoubtedly, you'll think like me that this is a hybrid. The father of which is a lion. The mother remains to be seen. Okay. It's half lion for sure. Conclusive on the father. Yeah. The mother we don't know.

Usually, often it can be the other way around. I'm certain who the father is. And you'll be thinking this okay sorry to be kept an obvious also why is the father a lion why couldn't the mother be a lion yeah because that that does actually like a lion and tiger hybrid does change based on who's the father and the mother be a lion? Yeah, because that does actually like a lion and tiger hybrid does change based on who's the father and the mother. Oh, really? Yeah, a liger is a lion dad, I think, with a tiger mum. Tiger mum.

A tigeron is a tiger dad, a lion mum. Okay. And they have slightly different characteristics. Interesting. Okay, so maybe there was some merit to what he was saying. But I doubt he knew that. Surely he probably would not know that. He's not an animal man.

Maybe he is an animal man. He's been hiding in plain sight. No wonder he hasn't caught him. And that's why he's describing him like this. Well, certainly. Dad's a lion, which mine isn't. My dad's a human. So it's obviously not me.

No one was suggesting it was you, Duhamel. Yeah, well, that's... Nor should they. Nor should they. That'd be stupid. Yeah, makes no sense at all. That'd be foolish. And shut up.

According to a Forbes article written by David Bresson, a local newspaper wrote around this time, a ferocious beast of unknown type coming from who knows where attacks the human species, killing individuals, drinking their blood, feasting on their flesh, and multiplying its carnage from day to day. Hunters who are in pursuit have neither been able to stop it because it is more agile than they, nor lure it into their traps

because it surpasses them in cunning nor engage in combat when it presents itself to them because its terrifying appearance weakens their courage disturbs their vision sets their hands shaking and neutralizes their skill oh he's really this is an article just like these hunters are just uh they're really just a wussing out. Yeah. And fair enough too. This is a beast we're dealing with here. Yeah. It's the son of a lion and something else. There are stories of it though where people holding a gun see the lion.

I've said too much. No. See the beast and just forget they're holding a gun and freak out and run. Like, there's a few stories like this. Wow. Not fair. I forget they're holding a gun.

I realise they're holding the gun backwards. I've missed. I've shot my dad. There's a line. Coincident. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. Coincident. York University. We work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Death is in our air.

This year's most anticipated series, FX's Shogun, only on Disney+. We live and we die. We control nothing beyond that. An epic saga based on the global best-selling novel by James Clavel. To show your true heart is to risk your life. When I die here, you'll never leave Japan alive. FX's Shogun, a new original series streaming February 27th exclusively on Disney+. 18 plus subscription required. T's and C's apply.

Yeah, so they're the people who are coming away telling that story and you can't help but think or i can't help but think and i'm sure you've come to the same conclusion but some of the people who are coming back with these stories of it being this huge scary beast and that they shot it and it survived are people who were like shat themselves oh right yeah maybe i swear i shot it twice i shot it twice but it was huge and scary yeah not they shat themselves and ran well they missed yeah yeah but you know when they say the beast like fell because they shot it and then got back out actually it was just tying its shoelace and then walking off. Going, hey, guys. Oh, sorry, shoelace undone. Hey, guys, sorry.

Sorry again, shoelace. Other shoe, goddammit. Why are you shooting at me? I said shoe, not shoot. Shoelace, not shoot lace. You missed anyway. All right, no, fine. I can tell you're in a mood.

I'll be off. I can tell you're in a mood. You can tell when people are shooting at you, they're tell you're in a mood. You can tell when people are shooting at you, they're in a bit of a mood. That's the worst thing to say to somebody who's in a mood. Yeah, yeah. I can tell you're in a mood.

Yeah, oh. I'll kill you. January would prove to be a brutal month. So, we're into the second year. As Schwalbe and Romero write, the Anglo-Saxons called january wolf month i think that was on their cable tv network discovery the time of year when the predators were most ravenous the beast wasted no time in living up to the reputation of its northern brothers with a january 2 decapitation of another victim there would be more than two dozen attacks and ten deaths in the first month of 1765.

How long has this all been going on for? This is not even a year yet. Wow. But already, like, you know, tens of people have died and more than that have been attacked. Yeah. As if things weren't dire enough for the people of Gévidan, the Bishop of Monde, who Jess has already predicted is the beast,

wrote a letter to the people. And honestly, I hadn't even thought of it. And I'm sure someone on the internet, because there's internet theories suggesting pretty much everyone is the beast. So they've probably already done that. But I think that's my favourite theory now. Okay. The Beast of Monde.

So the Bishop of Monde. Oh, my God. The Beast of Monde. See how easily that just. Oh, my God. The Beast of Mond. See how easily that just slipped out for you? It's so easy. Wow. So, the Bishop wrote a letter. So, they're all gone.

Everything's gone wrong. Yeah. Then they get this letter, open letter to the people of the area from the Bishop, suggesting the Beast attacks were all their fault. In the letter, the Bishop summarised the many misfortunes that had been occurring, the war, the rough weather, the famine, the ferocious beasts, before saying, you can easily conclude that your misfortunes can come only from your sins. Yeah, right.

I was going to say, I'm perplexed as to how he's making bad weather their fault, but because of their sins. Sins. Yeah. Stop sinning. Stop sinning. I don't want to have to say it again. Like, honestly, you guys, I can't believe this has been going on for ages

and you haven't thought to stop sinning. It's just, that's rule number one for me. And I've been, I have been saying it. Yeah. And I hate to say I told you so, but this is your fault. I'm with the bishop. Yeah. And I hate to say I told you so, but this is your fault. I'm with the bishop. Yeah. Me too.

To combat this, makes sense. What do you do if sinning's causing a beast? Put everybody in straitjackets. How can you sin if you're in a straitjacket? Dunk them in some holy water. Oh, that's clever. They didn't go with those, but they're great options. Instead, they went with a 40-hour prayer vigil.

Great. And it was going to be held for three weeks in succession, starting on January 6th. So, 40 hours over three weeks. Yeah. Incredible. They've somehow changed time itself. That's strong praying.

I read it like they do on January 6th, they do a 40-hour vigil. The following week, another 40 hours a three weeks straight 40 hour because it's like it's pretty daunting if you say to them like it's going to be hundreds of hours it's only 40 hours over three weeks we're gonna have micro breaks in between every second second that's a break you're only vigiling every second second yeah one second on one second off Your second off It's interval vigiling When you're in your interval you can do whatever you like, that's your time

And then you're back on, that's God's time That's time to vigil Unfortunately though On the day Of the first vigil, January 6th The prayers clearly weren't Combating the beast Because that same day two more women were killed.

Oh, dear. Okay, well, where were they? They weren't at the vigil, were they? Oh, my God. Exactly. Or they were tending to their animals, their livelihood. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Should have been at the vigil. Everyone at the vigil were marked safe. Yes, that's true. They didn't die. Marked safe at the vigil. So? That's a good point. There is correlation. And that equals caus. They didn't die. Mark safe at the vigil. So? Oh, that's a good point. There is correlation.

They were sitting. And that equals causation, isn't it? Absolutely. Is that something I've heard before? Mm-hmm. Sure. Correlation equals causation. Yes.

Yes. Okay, great. So, yeah. So, it got off to a bad start, but like you say, Jess, if they weren't at the vigil, then whose fault is it? That's on them. Six days later, the beast met its match when it tried its luck against a plucky group of ragtag kids. A 12-year-old named Jacques-André Potapha and his mates.

What were their names? I'm about to tell you. I really thought you were going to skip over it. Initially, I wrote it like that. I'm like, if I'm going to give one of them his crown, I've got to give it to all of them. So it was January the 12th, 1765, and seven children were watching their family's cattle on a local mountainside. Jacques Pontefay was with fellow 12-year-olds Jacques Couston and Jean Pic. They were each wielding a long stick topped with a triangular iron point covered by a sheath. That was sort of play fighting and stuff.

These were the big kids of the group, the three 12-year-olds. Then there were eight-year-olds Jean Verrier and Joseph Peniflou. Joseph Peniflou. Beautiful. Defending his family. Playing the ship to shore thing. Very good. Playing the ship to shore thing.

Very good. And then there were nine-year-olds Madeleine Schaus and Jean Guiffre. The kids were play fighting while looking after the cows when they saw the monster loping up the mountain trail towards them. And I'll let our old mates Schwalb and Romero take the story up from here. I think you say his name differently every time. Which one? Schwalb. Schwalb. Schwalb. It's probably Schwalb and Romero. Take the story out from here. I think you've said his name differently every time. Which one? Schwalb. Schwalb.

Schwalb. It's probably Schwalb, but there's an L in there, and that's- It needs a- Needs the whole mouth to move. Anyway, yeah, go on. There's an Arnie impression over there. Yeah, it's got an L in it, which means- Get to the chopper.

Schwalb, get to the chopper. Schwab. Get to the chopper. My favourite author is Schwab. Schwab. Schwab and Romero. Yeah, I think it's fair to say, and throughout the book, and I haven't been quoting them in these sections as much, but fair to say they're taking a bit of creative license just to really flesh out the stories they've added dialogue including some

of the the the shepherds who were killed and found dead they like wrote it and she looked down and saw a flower and she plucked it and had a smell but then looked up and saw the beast you know like they couldn't have known any of that. And she was singing to herself. How the sheep may eat the grass. Eating the grass is fun today. Stuff like that. It's sort of fun to pad out the story, but they've done that. It really does scream to me, padding for word count.

Yeah. They've done that in this case as well. So I'm going to read out this story, including some of their dialogue that they've put in the mouths of these children. Although these children, spoiler alert, survived. So this story was told later. So maybe they got some of it from records. Le bit!

Jacques bellowed. He dashed to Joseph and hauled the youngster to his feet. Everyone, here now! He pulled the sheath from the end of his pike and made the sign of the cross. Madeleine, Jean, Verrier, Panafou, behind, Cousin, pick, with me. But la Bête had already arrived. She prowled about the little troop leering. She.

It's a she-wolf. The beast of the Gévaudan was the size of a one-year-old calf. Her fur was reddish. She had a black stripe along her back and a long tail and fangs. She's ugly, Jean whispered. She smells, added Madeline. We're all sinking the boot in there, guys. This thing's going to kill you and you're like, pretty ugly.

These guys know how to write children dialogue, don't they? They know how to get into the- She smells. The beast salivated the beast salivated circle shouted pontifee turn with her he shoved his companions so there's they knew back then and i guess they do now apparently that um wolves are not likely to come at you front on they They'll come at you from behind for some reason. So apparently I read somewhere that some people, when dealing with a wolf enclosure, they'll wear like a mask on the back of their head even.

So that's why he's trying to keep, and obviously Pontifo knows this, he's trying to keep the wolf in front of them. You know what I mean? Yeah. So that it's not going to be able to come at them from behind. Keep her in front of us. The cattle stamp their feet and lowed. The cows will protect us, Joseph cried.

Hide amongst them. He bolted for the herd. Le Bid lept. In one fluid motion, he caught little Panaflo by the throat. Come on. Come on, Pantafeu yelled, as if awakened from some trance. The youngsters moved, thrusting primitive spears. Harder, said P Pontifeu. Pontifeu yelled, as if awakened from some trance. The youngsters moved, thrusting primitive spears. Harder, said Pontifeu.

They stabbed, shrieking. The beast disorientated, released Pontifeu. But not before she tore away his right cheek. She devoured it in an instant. Madeline dragged Pontifeu away and held him. The beast's eyes snapped. It rushed again. The girl screamed.

Stay together, shouted Pontifeu. Circle! away and held him the beast eyes snapped it rushed again the girl screamed stay together shouted ponna fey circle the beast lunged into the eight-year-old jean vera who fell it drew back then lunged again biting him on the lips oh isn't that a wild idea oh that's unlucky how do you get on the lips maybe do you think he was pouting at the time he's puckering up he might have been puckering yeah he was taking selfies doing duck face. This is in 2012, right? Yeah. Well, the 2012 of the 1700s.

That's right, in the Scotland of France. The older children advanced. Still the beat struck, dragging Jean away by his arm. Couston wailed, we must get help. No, roared Pontifey. We rescue Jeanne or perish with him. Pick, go left, I'll go right. Drive it into the bog, everyone.

They all followed Pontifey. Even the cattle moved towards the creature, tossing their horns. Fucking beautiful big beasts. Very cool. Distracted, Le Bid stumbled into the swamp with Varia and struggled in the freezing water. The children caught up. Charge, commanded Pontifex.

Monster, shouted Couston. Demon, said Madeline, yelling for all they were worth. Are they just taunting it now? They're taunting it. They're using their words. The boys and girls surrounded the famous beast of the Gévaudan. Attack her head, her eyes, her jaws, advised Pontifex. They jabbed at the creature over and over again.

It seemed like forever, when in fact the entire encounter lasted mere minutes. Le Bite was unable to kill or even bite little Jean. She was too busy snapping at the primitive parks and dodging blows. Once she seized Pontifey's iron tip and bent it. Finally, Le Bite dropped Veire and drew back. Pontifey scrambled down to help the little boy. Le Bite freed herself from the bog, shaking the wet from her fur like a dog.

She turned to- A pug. Like a pug. Like a pug dog. In a very pug-ish way. She turned to study her attackers from atop a mound. We have her now, said Pontifei. The seven clenched spears.

But Le Bitt had had enough of the youngsters. She darted into the forest. She's gone, said Madeline. Children! The children wheeled. An adult had arrived at last. Oh, about time, adult. Yeah.

Hey, I just watched you fight off the beast and I thought I'd wait till the last. Yeah, funny timing, adult. Oh, yeah, I need any help? Yeah, it's gone now. Thanks, mate. Thanks for nothing. Oh, it's weird that no adult males are getting eaten.

They're all arriving just after it happens. Or maybe that adult had just taken off their beast costume. You know, it's like in a horror movie. Hey, guys, have I missed anything? Hang on a second. Where have you been? I've just been in the same room at the same time. I just went to get a drink.

I was just down in the basement getting a drink from the fridge. Sure thing, adult. You can't trust them. No. Like, yeah, I was watching with binoculars and then, surprisingly, you weren't savage to death. So here I am. Yeah.

I thought I'd be coming in to collect the bodies, but you're all still here. Classic adults, always just sweeping in for the good times. Where are they where things go wrong? Nowhere. Nowhere to be seen. Pathetic. Honestly, flaky.

If I was going to describe adults with one word, flaky. I hate adults. Yeah, they've all got dandruff. Sorry, I zoned out. What are we talking about? No, that's about right. Yeah, adults have dandruff. I've got adult onset dandruff.

I'm on my second coffee now. Finished the orange juice, though, just to keep people updated before. Halfway through the water. I'm on the edge of busting. But the story goes on. So, the beast got away. They didn't kill it, but they did kind of defeat it, which was pretty badass, right? Yeah, very cool.

No fatalities. One kid had his lips bit off, one had his cheek bit off. I'm kind of glad in a way that they didn't kill the beast because that monsieur man who his whole self-worth is pinned on him getting. He needs this. If the kids had been able to do it and he couldn't, he would have been devastated. Yeah, that wouldn't have ended well for him.

He's like, oh, come on. I can't get it right in the war. I can't get this right. I'm good at nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That wouldn't have ended well for him. He's like, oh, come on. I can't get it right in the war. I can't get this right. I'm good at nothing. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. He needs this more than them. For Duhamel.

But, yeah, this story ended up becoming quite famous. It spread all around both France and then internationally even. Like, it got relayed in- The Age. British papers. The Age in Melbournebourne holy freaking shit yeah which was wild because it didn't even exist yet it was the first story that they ever wrote that's a good trivia one yeah what was the age's first story and do they wait for any other stories

so there's a newspaper with one story yeah they're like this is it i think we could build a paper around they still filled 40 pages oh yeah wow with one story it's. It was one story. Yeah. They were like, this is it. I think we could build a paper around this. But they still filled 40 pages. Oh, yeah. Wow, with one story. It was very comprehensive and a lot of stuff made up. And then they got in a hot air balloon and went to space. And then my mum was there and she didn't leave me. She's just stuck in space.

They actually based the Fast and the Furious franchise off this story. Wow. Incredible stuff. They wrote out the wolf and wrote in a diesel. A Vin Diesel. The very delicate ego. DeHamel. Yeah, that's Vin Diesel.

That's Vin Diesel. So, yeah, it became a big story. There's these great works of art depicting the story as well. I wonder if I can find one for you. Do you want to see one now? That's awesome. That wasn't a yes. So I'd just keep going with the report then, I reckon.

Do you want to see one? That's awesome. I thought we would edit that bit out and then Matt would show us and then we could cut it to, that's awesome, you know. So you're like, I'm not even going to bother. No, no, no. Matt's describing it and I said, that's awesome. And then he'd show us and going to bother. No, no, no. I didn't like it when Matt's describing it and saying, and I said, that's awesome.

And then he'd show us and we'd go, whoa, look at that. But, you know, Jess, I'm always thinking three steps ahead here. I'm eight steps behind. Welcome to Do Go On. Oh, can I just say, that's awesome. Yeah, I love it. That's cool. Okay, so let's describe it, which we'll probably post it during the week on the social media.

But there's a... It's kind of like... It looks a bit like a dog. Dog. Slash dragon. Almost looks like a Chinese dragon. Yes, yeah, yeah. It's got small ears.

You've seen it in a parade. And then four, one, two, three, four kids holding up clubs. Actually, there's a fifth one there. And then one kid who's just like can't see, can't hear, like covering their ears, closing their eyes. I think, yeah, you can see the kid saying la, la, la, la, la. Very relaxed. No, no, no. Honestly, behaving like an adult.

Yeah. That kid will probably grow up to be one one day based on that attitude. Matt, you can't say that about children. Actually, Matt, if you zoom in the background, can you see the parent with the binoculars? Hiding behind a bush. Jeez, these freaking adults, I tell you what. I don't trust them.

I wouldn't, no. So, yeah, beautiful bit of artwork there. Court in a Schwalb and Romero. That was different. That was different. The courage of the seven children rallied king, court, and people and provided the young hero, Portefeuille, with an all-expenses-paid education and people and provided the young hero, Porta Fé, with an all-expenses-paid education and a career in the military.

Wow. This was his big break. Wow. He's from this little backwater, you know, the Scotland of France. And all of a sudden, the king's taken him under his wing. Can you imagine if the kids made that up? Yeah. And he's gotten this job, a career, and they fucking lied.

Do you reckon they could? Yeah. One of them cut his own cheek off just to- What about the other kids? We take this to the grave. The other kids didn't quite get the same glory, but they all did get cash as well. Okay.

They got the cash prize. They got a few leverers. So, did he took the mystery box, which was working for the king, where they all took the cash prize? Good on him. Yeah. I think, you know, they say, like, the lump sum or the monthly payments or whatever.

I think when it comes to the mystery box or the money, I think you take the cash. Yeah, okay. I think so. Cash out now. It's guaranteed. Yeah. But what if the box is clearly just-

More cash? Yeah, it's like in the shape of cash. That's a trick. Yeah, that's when I get suspicious, I think. That's a trick. If it looks like a bit of cash, it's like in the shape of cash okay that's the trick yeah that's when i get suspicious that's a trick if it looks like a bit of cash yeah if it looks like a pineapple it's probably cash okay yeah the two options we should always be your like 50 bills no okay australia that some people call them i get get it. Pineapples. But that's incorrect. I was saying that for the listeners. Don't you patronise me. 20s are lobsters.

Yes. 50s are pineapples. Is that a 10? They're Pavarottis. 10ers. I heard someone refer to one as a Don Bradman. Oh. Is that the 100?

Yeah, maybe. Maybe that's the 99.96. Or whatever. What was his number? It's my favourite. 94. Sorry, you're right. Gary J from the UK will be screaming in his iPod right now.

Gary's very upset at you. Anyway, let's go back to the story. This is still Schwalb and Romero. But the triumph was a temporary one. The Beast immediately resumed its month-long January rampage. Oh, that's right. It's Beast Month. It's Beast Month. It's Beast Month.

It's Wolf Month here on Fox, which is weird. It even assailed pike-armed men and mauled a 20-year-old woman, Catherine Boyer, and she's the woman who became known as La Bellefraie or Scarface. El Pacino. By the end of the month, It was announced that King Louis XV Would pay a further 6,000 liveries

Holy shit In reward On top of the already 4,000 So this is now 10,000 How many years salary For a day labourer Would that be Dave?

How much was it again? 2,000 200 was a year So what's 10,000? Wow 5 per 1,000 50 years? Not bad.

They don't live that long back then. Nah. It's more money than you can spend, mate. 50 years of salary for me. But would you take the lump sum? Or would you just take it like a salary for 50 years? Or you'd take it in Bitcoin. I'm taking it now.

Oh, Bitcoin in the 1700s. 10 grand. That's a lot of liveries. That's a lot. Months passed and our man Duhamel led hunts with thousands of locals involved. He was putting his all in still. Thousands of locals. Thousands.

Peasants. Few nobles. Wow. A lot of sticks, a lot of racket. Yeah. One man bands Don't forget the harmonica My favourite instrument The the harmonica. Oh, God, it's a lovely instrument.

It's so concise. And it's done, and that's it. Oh, dear. How do I do it? Why do you do it? Sorry, thank you. That's what I meant to say. I've been speaking French so long, I'm starting to forget English.

So, the beast was seen sporadically, sometimes with human heads in its mouth, wandering in the distance. Like, it's- That would be a full-on sight. Yeah. My God, if you saw that. But no one was able to get a good shot at it. They're seeing it, but no one can get it.

But it is still attacking people. God damn. Deaths are continuing. People are being attacked. Many locals were spending their time being shit scared of the beast. It's a full-time job. While others used it to write letters to the officials suggesting ingenious ideas to catch the creature.

Love it. Now I'm going to read some of these fantastic ideas. Ingenious ideas. If you had to know that people have been wacky for centuries? Even if this happened now, there'd be some crackpot being like, no, this is what you should do. Yeah, it's similar to the people who call into sports radio to suggest new rules for AFL.

Like, I think we'll fix the congestion by, and it's something like, what are you talking about? We. Who's this we? We draw grids on the field. Everyone has their own metre by metre space. They're not allowed out of that space unless they're holding a chicken. And to make sure they don't move...

The chicken's name has to be Gary. If it's not Gary, they have to move eastward. The chicken must be wearing a little mini jersey with the same number as them or dividable by three. Also, I'm the boss of the new team. But non-negotiable. Also, can you tell my mum not to put peas in my dinner? I hate peas. New rule, no peas in my dinner.

No peas in my dinner. While I'm in charge. There is something comforting about people from the old days being kooky. Yeah. Or doing stuff like us and you're like, oh, okay, it's just something about humans. I'm a little bit nervous now that this isn't going to live up to your kooky expectations.

Let's see. Let's hear it. So, first we've got a Mr. Joas de Pepu who wrote to officials. Joe Pupu. Joe Pupu. That's got to be fake. Joe Pupu. What did Joe Poo Poo. Joe Poo Poo. That's got to be fake. Joe Poo Poo. What did Joe Poo Poo write?

Joe the Poo Poo. Joe the Poo Poo? Joe the Poo Poo. I beg your pardon. So, he wrote to officials in Feb of 1765 to suggest that they should be counterfeiting women. Okay. Joe Poo Poo. Please, do go on.

This is an English translation of part of his letter. To this end, seeing that the monster is ravenous for females, it is only necessary to place in the places it appears artificial females. Scarecrows. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, okay. Composed of the most subtle poison and expose them on flexible posts on the various roads to invite the cursed animal to show its unbridled fury

and swallow its own end. Swallow its own arse? They want it to eat its own arse? No, the poison, its end, like its death. Right, but if it eats its own arse, it'll form a circle and live forever. We do not want that. Oh, no, this is backfired. Is that how you live forever?

Yes. Okay. Sign me up. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. A one-man human centipede. Has it got a robberous or something like that? Come on.

Three expanded pig bladders seasoned with poisons would make up a woman's head and breasts. Seasoned? Why are you talking about titties? Bake at 100 degrees. Joey DePupu has thought this out, okay? Sorry, Joey. I don't know who you are to question DePupu. Sorry, Joe DePupu. So, the pigsbladders, poison pigsbladders will make very convincing head and breasts.

I've never seen a woman. A painted face would be affixed Monsieur de Papu Wrote again in 10 weeks With another plan He's like okay Obviously you didn't go with that one Try this one This one involved

25 intrepid men Dressed in assorted animal skins and feathers With headgear trimmed in feathers And small knife edges Everything should be coated in honey And fragrant with musk Then the hunters should combine 12 ounces of human fat from a Christian with viper's blood, if available.

What? The men should be armed with urson pistols and three square bullets, bitten by the teeth of a woman or girl. What the fuck? Then joined with pieces of iron and also covered in fat, plus hunting knives and iron claws, also greased. They should patrol three by three in silence in a large triangle. A single one of them could be the vanquisher of the cruel beast.

So, that's- I'm giving that to you. That's free. I don't even think he's expecting- That one's for free. So, why the bullet square? Oh, my God, Dave. If you have to ask. Why are they bitten by a woman?

Yeah. Because that's the- the beast is after women. Now the women are after the beast. And why are they dressed as animals? For hiding. They've got knives on their heads and they're covered in honey and grease. Dave, if you don't get it, you don't get it, which is fine. Just say you don't get it.

Just say you don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it at all. No, I also have no idea why he doesn't understand it at all. They're on patrol. So, it feels like he's combined, like, he wants them to be eaten again, but also now they're also on patrol.

Wow. They're on patrol in a triangle. They keep getting covered with a new thing. Honey. Honey. Mask. Grease. I'm a Christian.

I'm a Christian. Yeah, fat of a Christian. Viper's poison Square bullets bitten by a woman Viper's blood sorry Oh and did they I imagine that they said You're a genius

Obviously this one got done Yeah And I'll say he offered it up for free But I think he was expecting some of the reward If it came off And the glory From that fantastic idea And some of the Christian fat

Yes No questions asked Where do you get I don't know from that fantastic idea. And some of the Christian fat. Yes. No questions asked. Where do you get... I don't know. These ones aren't quite as full on, but another plan was proposed by Monsieur Herbert of Veneer, and that was to dress a sheep... Herbert.

Herbert. Dress a sheep like a little girl by fastening a bonnet on its head. That is... A sheep. A bonnet looks nothing like a little child. Look, here she comes. It's Madeline. Oh, no. Went to school.

I'm protected. Any beast could eat this child. Farewell, Madeline. Enjoy your day at school. Dresses up. I await your return. Dress up a lot of little girls as sheep. Because otherwise the beast would notice, hang on,

there's a few less sheep in the paddock than usual. Madeline is wandering around in a woolly coat. But Herbert, he did have some notes. He said, it's best to arrange that the sheep is upright and about the same size as a child. Which I think is quite a lot. So, get the sheep to walk on its tiny little pin legs. Yeah. Perfect.

Yes. Then he said, to really sell it, you can fashion some other children out of straw and place them by the sheep. So the sheep will just start eating the fellow students. Then marksmen were to line wait nearby, ready to take it out. Great. He also suggested having real children cavort before another contingent of hidden marksmen. Just go.

If the sheep one doesn't work, just get it. Just get real kids. Just use dumb ones that no one likes. Another writer believed that the beast was a tiger cat from Mexico and suggested officials grease the backs of veal calves with poison and surround them with traps, luring the beast to its doom. But he doesn't seem to like calves. No, he doesn't like calves.

You've got to grease up the children with poison. How's he jumped it? This is a guy who hasn't seen it, but he's like, oh, yeah, that's a tiger cat. I've never heard of one. That is very, very far from home. Yeah. Show us the nose on my face. That is a tiger cat from Mexico.

A Lieutenant Colonel Dupere advised that the beast hunters should switch to steel musket balls since the beast, rumoured to be covered in scales, was impervious to lead. People going, we can't shoot it. Obviously, it's covered in scales. Yeah. I don't mean, you know. Monsieur Lepinas de Mongabude proposed an infallible- Monsieur Licking Ass?

De Mongus. Licking Ass of the Mongus. Yeah. He- I don't- I have no idea what this means, but he proposed a, quote, infallible wooden machine. Just get an unbeatable wooden machine. And if they do, I want half the reward.

Apparently, the guy who patented the automobile in America just had the idea of- He's like, he never did anything with it, but he got in patenting before. No, like a car. So, he made money on there. It's like a- Yeah, it's sort of like a-

It's got wheels and it's motorized and it'll go. That's my idea. If anyone ever makes one, that was me. All right. My idea is think of the world's fastest supercomputer. That, but three times as fast. That's mine. Copyright.

My idea. Patented. Easy. I think they've tightened up the rules since then. That's great. He would just go down there and just start riffing. All right. I'm imagining some sort of flying thing.

You can get in and it takes you places. Bing! Next. Yeah. I'm an ideas man. Hockey stick, but stronger than current hockey sticks. Bing! All right, great.

This is easy. A microchip that goes in your arm and you talk into it. It's like a phone now, but it's a microchip in your arm. Bing, bing! Great. Oh, my money, please. phone now but it's a microchip in your arm great oh my money please so this infallible wooden machine would be uh on a 25 foot track that would take the creature alive for the king so it's just a okay so it's on a track infallible it's wooden it's a machine it takes the beast it's on a track

so it will only take the beast if the beast is in the exact spot they need it to be in. Yeah, which it will be. Because I'll put a little girl there. Yeah, there'll be a lamb just as a girl. Lamb just as a girl really got Dave. It's so funny. He's got a little bonnet on and then going, that's a girl. That's definitely going to trick him.

And the beast knows. I mean, it's basically that inside the infallible wooden machine would be a model of a child used as bait. While in a tree nearby, someone would, quote, cry and lament all day and even more at night to attract the beast. Because the beast obviously loves the sound of tears. And lament. Oh, why? I should have. Why didn't I say yes to Devon LeBoulet?

Yes. Devon LeBoulet. I should have said yes. He offered me a great opportunity. I should have said oui. But I said no. I don't believe any of these suggestions were taken up by the official hunting parties. Oh, God.

It's like they want to fail. Yeah. It's like they're all on the bishop's side. This is just because of sins. Yeah. Fuck. It's like they're all on the bishop's side. This is just because of sins. Yeah. Fuck. Come on. I think it's a bishop.

He's a dog. Yeah. Oh, my God. The bishop is a dog. Hang on. Dog bishop. Pattern that. Dog bishop.

A movie. It's about a dog bishop. A play about a dog bishop, just in case. A limited TV series. You've got to cover your bases. They'll about a dog bishop. A play about a dog bishop, just in case. A limited TV series. You've got to cover your bases. They'll get you. Yeah. So it's about a dog that's a bishop and he goes on adventures.

Or doesn't. It's kind of like Air Bud, but with a bishop. There's nothing in the Bible that says. So, unfortunately, your man, Duhamel, just couldn't get it done. No. So, unfortunately, your man, Duhamel, just couldn't get it done. No. And he ended up being replaced by a famed wolf hunter named Jean-Charles Denvel and his son, Jean-Francois.

That's the best one so far. It wasn't that smooth of a transition. There was quite an overlap where the father-son combo were there and they sort of bickered quite a bit with each other, Duhamel, and they're like, you know, he's getting in our way. He doesn't know what he's doing. And they talked a big game, the father and son. They're like, you know what?

We're going to get this done in a couple of weeks. We'll get it done. I can't see any reason why we can't just get it done in a couple of weeks they had uh already told and bragged that they had um killed 1200 of the beasts in the past wolves all right they were famed wolf hunters and they came from normandy and were recommended by the king's controller general so they came to town and they're like yeah piece of piss whatever we'll get it done. No worries. Point us in the right direction. Get the checkbook ready. Yeah.

Maybe you got to, like, so down at the pub, what's the meal they're known for? What are they good at? Yeah. Parma? Great. Get two of those going. We'll be back by the time they're ready. We'll be back in a jiff. Start pouring some pints, ladies.

We'll be right back. I want them to die. Okay. Well, they probably will. Like, they're dead now. Yeah, cop that. You got your wish. Well done, Jess.

Thank you. So, even after they came to town, the attacks and deaths continued. Another famous incident occurred when the heroic woman, Jeanne Jouve, fought off the beast, protecting her two sons. Much like the story Jess told before, it's almost exactly what happened. She's out in front of their house with a baby and a six-year-old boy and their family dog. The dog was much smaller, but really go on it and protecting it. The beast would get the dog.

Sadly, her six-year-old son got taken, but she fought it off and got her son back. Wow. Her courage was known throughout France. She became a real hero. But sadly, despite vanquishing the beast from her property, her six-year-old son ended up dying of his wounds three days later. The king awarded her 3,000 livres for her bravery. Oh, wow. And, but yeah,000 livres for her bravery. Oh, wow. But, yeah, obviously. 15-year salary.

It was no, it didn't make up for losing her son, but, yeah, it was. 15-year salary. And she still had another son, right? And a dog. Was the dog all right? The dog survived. Any parents listening? so upset at us. Can I only make jokes like that because it's hundreds of years ago?

Yeah. Yeah, that's it. In 15 years. Don't have to work for 15 years. The weather and the terrain were much more brutal than the father-son combo from Normandy were expecting. They're used to frolicking in the sunshine. They're like, oh, no one told us this big question mark on the map was so hilly.

There's a lot of snow around. This is tough. And soon their bold prediction of bagging the beast within a fortnight proved to be super overly optimistic. Oh, no. According to Bressonon it was extremely difficult to hunt on such terrain the hunter de anvil noted after a first survey of the area that the beast will not be an easy catch gone from two weeks no worries get the palm ready get the beer ready to

oh hang on this might be tougher than i thought it's weird that thousands of people have failed over the last year. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, but usually I shoot my wolves in a barrel. Yeah, yeah. Where's the wolf barrel? Where's the beast barrel? I've shot over 1,200 of them in a barrel.

Yeah, I could- Easy. I thought this was like a wolf farm, trap farm sort of scenario. Get a wolf in a barrel. Where's the wolf barrel? This is going to be tricky. Oh. Wait, I've got to find it? Oh, my God.

Free range wolf? It could be anywhere. This is ridiculous. Guys, come on. This is so unreasonable. No wonder no one's done this. It's out there. Oh, my God.

Okay, well, I could hide then. Good fucking way. And what? I'm hiding. Dave's my favourite hopeless hero. Oh, yeah, I'm going, what? What? Oh, my God.

That's going to be hard. I don't want, oh. Yeah, so. What, I'm just going to wander around? He was pretty quickly disheartened. That's great. Horses could not be used in the swamps, and the creature could easily escape in the forest

and hide between the rocks. The Cantal Massif, with some peaks of over 5,000 feet high, also act as a barrier for clouds, and the weather of the Gévaudan is notoriously bad, with cold and long winters and wet summers as we've already talked about. Various times the animal escaped into the mist or hunters gave up the pursuit due to the heavy rain.

Wow. So it's just like everything was against them. But it's so funny to come to town after people have already been having a go on, basically like, all right, we're putting this in the right direction, we'll get this done. Piece of piss, yeah.

So what? There were 17 reported attacks in April and six deaths. Wow. Then there were four more in May, and in June there were another four deaths, two of which were decapitations. Some started speculating that there must be more than one beast out there, as the distance between some of the attacks that occurred on the same days was too great, surely, for one beast to-

Right, yeah. So, you know, they're going, it's a pack of wolves or something else. We don't know. The powers that be were now losing patience with the Normandy hunters. This is their second team they've brought in. And they're like, oh, these guys are no good either. And once again, decided on some fresh blood for their head hunter role. This time, King Louis XV's own trusted gun bearer, Francois Antoine, got the gig.

The 71-year-old was a knight of the royal and military order of St. Louis. Oh, dear. He was joined by his son, Robert Francois, as well as a big team of assistants. His son was only 60. Young man. He brought a huge entourage. These are the best of the best. These are the royal.

You know, they're coming from Versailles probably, you know, coming down with all the best gear, probably everything coated in gold. Yeah. They're good to go. They look beautiful. They look fantastic. Yeah, it's really nice. They're like, they get down and say, so where's this barrel?

Oh. Where's my gold barrel? It took them about two weeks to journey down to the Gévaudan, and when they arrived, it was almost exactly a year since the first official death, Jean Boulet. July passed with more attacks and deaths, but no great breakthroughs by the new hunting team. By then, according to Schwab and Romero, Schwab.

Sorry. Sorry, Schwab. Sorry. Sorry, Schwab. By then, according to Schwab and Romero, one fussy young woman took on the beast with her pike and sent it packing. This is probably the third of the real famous incidences. So we had the kids, then we had the mum and the family pet, and this is the other one of

the big three that still gets talked about so yeah i'll let schwalbe and romero uh take us through it one foster young woman took on the beast with her park and sent it packing on august the 11th 1765 mid to late morning a young woman named marie jean valet 19 or 20 years old a servant of a clergyman and her sister therese 16 or or 17, were crossing the river on their way to the community farm. The beast, lurking in the underbrush along the riverbanks, spotted the girls and flung itself at Marie-Jean. Marie? Marie. Marie. Marie. Marie-Jean. Luckily, the sensible young woman had brought along a spear, a stick with a bayonet sharp on both sides, about half a foot long and an inch and a half wide. And she used it.

Marie-Jeanne Vallée impaled the beast with her weapon. According to the accounts of the incident, Le Birt retreated, the beast, and cried out very loudly and held her paw in front of the wound. Then threw herself in the river where she rolled over several times before disappearing. Whoa. So, the beast cried out loudly. Yes. What would that sound like? Oh, no.

Oh, no. No. Oh, no. No. Oh. Oh, no. Oh. No. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. It sounds like the beast is being played by Jennifer Coolidge. Oh. She's a comedy beast. Later, when questioned by authorities, the girls described the beast as being the size of a large farm dog, which is pretty vague, but also doesn't sound that big. Yeah, but they didn't say how large. Yeah, that's true. Like a farm dog, but really, really large. Like Great Dane, but larger than that.

Yeah, that's a good point. That's fucking big. Like Great Dane, but larger than that. Yeah, that's a good point. That's fucking big. The greatest Dane. They're describing an elephant. Yeah, sort of like a large farm dog. Yeah. It was grey with a white chest.

Grey. And black back. Like an elephant. Wait, so, wait. It's grey, but in the past it's been red. Red with a black stripe or red with a black stripe. Interesting. But this one's grey with a black stripe. Black back.

Grey with a white chest and a black back. Well, the other one did have a, yeah, red back with a black stripe. So, yeah, it varies. It feels like every eyewitness describes it differently. This sounds more like- Which also makes it sound like it's different animals. This one sounds more like a wolf. Okay.

It's grey with a white chest and a black stripe on it. That sounds more like a wolf. Its front was bigger than its rear and it had a big flat head and big teeth. Does that sound like a wolf? Big flat head. Yeah. I'm thinking it might be a stingray. They're all head.

And that's why they're rolling around in the water. That's what they do. Flopping around. You don't have snakes that are all neck. Yeah. Stingrays are all head. They're all head. They're all head. And that's why they're rolling around in the water. That's what they do. Flopping around. You know how snakes are all neck? Yeah. Stingrays are all head. They're all head. They're all face.

They're big flatties. Wow. Okay. Or it's a pug. Oh, yeah. They've got a very flat face. Stretched out. Flattest face.

Certain Frenchies. Most Frenchies quite flat. Okay. And this is in France, right? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's a French bulldog. Oh, my God. It's not a pug. It's a flat. Okay. And this is in France, right? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's a French bulldog. Oh, my God.

It's not a pug. It's a French bulldog. It was right there in front of us all along. And if they come in different colours, usually because of poor breeding, but I've never seen a red one. A red one with a black stripe. I haven't seen that, but, you know, this is ages ago. And we don't know if it was wearing a jacket.

Exactly. They get cold. They're not good in the cold. The authorities examined Marie-Jeanne's spear and noted that the shaft of the weapon was coated in two to three inches of blood. The intrepid Jean Marie was an Amazon, according to the local press. Another hero. Royal gun bearer Francois Antoine, the 71-year-old, was so impressed with her bravery and composure that he called her the second maid of Orleans.

Joan of Arc. Master Joan. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Joan number two, Electric Boogaloo. Secret of the Ooze. Marie-Jeanne Vallée now has a sculpture commemorating her valour in a windswept churchyard in Ouvert

in France. Wow. It's a great looking sculpture as well. Love it. Let me fucking show you. Are. Wow. It's a great-looking sculpture as well. Love it. Let me fucking show you. Are you just saying she's a hottie? No, just a- Great-looking sculpture, let me tell you.

I like she's been chiselled out of stone. Absolute stoner. She's a stone-cold babe. I love it. Oh, that's great. How cool is that? That's really cool. You're seeing the beast in action sort of leaping over her

and she's just like absolutely stabbing it to the chest. Yeah, she looks brave. Her dress is in motion. Yeah, that's very cool. That's awesome. And you see that that's based on the look of the strange beast is based on a lot of the illustrations at the time. Right, yeah.

Which are all, you know, you see old pictures of animals and they just for some reason it's not quite right it's so funny like they could draw they could paint people but their artists could just like i don't know yeah horses were impossible they kept getting picasso to draw them or something they always look not quite right so the new royal hunting party led by the 71 year old wasn't getting on too well with the locals though admittedly the locals didn't really get on great with the first two either apparently uh firstly they spoke a different dialect so they couldn't really communicate with each other that makes it tricky they'd come into town and maybe look down a bit on the locals but you know from the backwater we're coming to save the day you know maybe not treating them with

a lot of respect and this new royal hunting party wasn't getting on well with them. On August the 16th at the forest of Mount Chauvet, two of the royal hunting party wanted to know if they could navigate a certain area on horseback. They're like, guys, we're heading down here to have a look for the beasts. Is that all good to go down on horses? They asked a local farmer and barman jean chastel and his sons pierre and antoine uh if it would be possible the chastels said they were good to go even though the error in question was a bog it was a volcano so the horseman went down and immediately got stuck one of the horses reared up the the royal dude got flung into the mud they were not happy pulled out their guns and took

the chastels to jail oh wow they put they sent them to jail and they were in there for a few months because they basically it was like a little hazing prank for the the newbies prison yeah what a cool reaction wow guys we're just having fun. You guys are real cool. The charge? Lying about a bog. What is the charge? What are you in for? Lying about a bog. Oh.

We all did. Yeah. Oh, I killed a guy. You guys only lied about bogs? The guy that killed a guy gets out way earlier. So the rest of the royal hunting party wasn't getting on that well with the locals, but the leader, the 71-year-old Francois Antoine, he was endearing himself to the locals, and he did it in a way that I think Jess would really appreciate.

He organised a fireworks display. Oh, hell yeah. I fucking love fireworks. You want to see me look like a toddler again? Fireworks. A mouth agape. You look up in bewilderment. In absolute awe.

I love fireworks. That's so good. I love them. There was some, because I can see the MCG from my place, and I sat down the other night and could just see them out the window and went, ooh! I was home alone. I was home alone, and there were some fireworks, and and went, ooh! I was home alone. I was home alone and there were some fireworks and I went, ooh!

And I watched them for a bit. It was so fun. That's sick. I love fireworks. And imagine if you're in 1765. That would blow your mind. Wouldn't it blow your mind? Probably could blow you up.

But they probably wouldn't have the ones that go up and they go like, boom! And you go, okay. And then it goes, boom! And you're like, whoa, you okay and then it goes boom boring oh my god the royal horseman sent him to jail you tricked me that's it that's it fireworks so he put on this fireworks display and apparently the locals loved it Come on, come down here. In a dump. He's trying to jail a firework. So, he put on this fireworks display and apparently the locals loved it. They were right into it. And he finished with this big sort of trumpet announcement, we will destroy the beast.

And everyone didn't understand what he was saying because they didn't speak the same language. They were like, okay, he's yelling something. Okay, you all right, mate? Everything all right? I'm just going to go on Pinterest real quick, look up fireworks tattoos. Oh, that'd be cool. That'd be sick.

That'd actually be sick. If you get the right colour, it could look like a rash. Yes. That'd be cool. That'd be really nice. Parting in plain sight. A few days after the fireworks show, on August the 28th, Francois Antoine's nephew, named Rincard, killed a big wolf.

Again, they had to play the waiting game. Was this the beast? They would have to wait and see if the killing ceased. Oh, my God, that rhymed. Unfortunately, two deaths in quick succession in mid-September quashed any hopes of this. deaths in quick succession in mid-September quashed any hopes of this. Then a huge

wolf, another one, was spotted near the Abbey of Chazot. Like, you have to hear that what you're doing is just mumbling. That is so offensive to the French, Jess. Chazot. Oh, yeah? Oh, you're familiar with this place?

What? You just go deeper, and you you gesture and you're like, that's French. I'm doing a bit of French. This is easy. The Abbey. And then you just continue. We're supposed to just sit here and listen to these mumbles. Sit here and you listen.

Listen. Listen. Let me let Schwalb and Romero take up the story. Francois Anton was about to find himself in the hunt of his life. The royal gun bearer came upon a number of animal trails in the nearby woods. While examining the tracks, he found, at a convergence of several paths, a donkey. Here? No.

Can't be, he thought to himself. himself a wolf 50 steps away and closing in sorry sorry it was monstrous mon dieu breathed the night of st louis he scrambled for a gun oh and he took aim francois antoine used a large caliber duck hunting shotgun loaded with five charges of strong powder and 33 buckshot pellets ranging from four and a half to eight millimetres in diameter. Oh, my God. I hope he's aiming the gun the right way. He fired and stumbled back two paces. The gun kicked like a mule. Wildly, he recovered and peered through the gun smoke.

The load had hit home. It looked to have gone through the wolf's right eye and into its right side. Hurrah! But impossible. The wolf got to its feet and charged. Tight-lipped, Antoine forced himself to focus. No time to reload. My knife! He felt for it at his side. The gap narrowed. Francois Antoine's mind raced. The wolf was ten steps away. He brought up the gun to club it. Luckily, Rincard, his nephew, had positioned himself behind the beast and fired. Did he succeed? The white smoke blinded Antoine, who expected the beast to be upon him at any moment.

Then he saw. The wolf had fallen again. But, true to the stories the peasants told, it was rising once more. No! This terminated wolf! How could this be? Your knife, shouted Rincard! But there was no need. The wolf staggered off in a different direction, running crazily for 20 yards, fell, and died. The delighted hunting party contacted the local surgeon who was to complete an autopsy. The king was determined to know exactly what the animal was.

On the first day of October 1765, Francois Antoine's wolf was presented at the court of King Louis XV in Versailles. Visiting at the time, luckily for us, was a prolific letter writer, Horace Warpole, Earl of Orford in England. Horace Warpole, the Earl of Orford. I think he's got a little resemblance to you, Dave. I don't know.

Say what you think. Oh, yeah. A little bit of- No. In what- Young man. Yeah, picture Dave with a wig like that, though. I don't know... No. In what... Young man. Yeah, picture Dave with a wig like that, though. I don't know if you know what Dave looks like.

That guy's got a really long face. We both have large foreheads. Okay. Is that what you were getting at, Matt? Hmm. Okay. Matt, I don't see Dave in that at all. I'm way hotter than that guy.

Way hotter. You've got a very different physique. This man, he's got a real... He's a real pear. Oh, wow. I wasn't expecting when that guy. Way hotter. You've got a very different physique. This man, he's a real pear. Oh, wow. I wasn't expecting when you scroll from the top. I think that's where I saw the hips, Dave. He's got your hips. Oh, he's got your hips.

I noted that down at about 4 a.m. last night. So, but he was there to document. 12 hours later. that i'm gonna have to get the listener's opinion on this is that and that's horace that's horace that's the englishman he's writing letters and he's there at versailles and apparently he's just a prolific letter writer and historians love him because he documented so many things awesome that's handy here's an excerpt from a letter he wrote on october the 3rd 1765 in the queen's antechamber we foreigners were shown the famous beast of the Jevedan,

just arrived and covered with a cloth, which two page boys lifted up. It is an absolute wolf. Okay. But uncommonly large, and the expression of agony and fierceness remained strongly imprinted on its dead jaws. So they've got it.

It's a wolf. It's a wolf. It's a huge wolf. And they've got it. It's a wolf. It's a wolf. It's a huge wolf. And they think it's the wolf. They do. And two months went by without attack. Oh, my goodness. Could the beast's reign of terror finally be over?

Well, this beast was killing. It was attacking like, you know, 10, 15 times a month. Yeah. You have to go two months without an attack. Yeah, you'd feel pretty confident. Yeah. Well, unfortunately, no. 72 days after the royal hunters took down the large wolf, the attacks continued.

Oh, my God. In December, multiple attacks occurred, leading to more death and decapitation. Oh, dear. What? One of the deaths was so grisly that all remained of the victim was their hands. Oh, my goodness. Isn't that a full-on image? Yeah. Did you find the body? We found the hands. We was their hands. Oh, my goodness. Isn't that a full-on image? Yeah.

Did you find the body? We found the hands. We found the hands. According to Joseph A. Williams, writing for History.com, the Royal Court chose to ignore these new attacks, insisting that Antoine had killed the creature. My man's killed it. I don't know what you're talking about.

How do you explain these hands? Whatever. They're probably already there. It's done, okay? Move on. Move on. Guys, it's done okay move on move on guys it's done it's done you're embarrassing yourselves so that that's the messaging coming back from the king it's over stop talking to us about it and lafont felt conflicted our man lafont you know he's the one who started trying to get this dealt with way back and uh he just like the king thinks it's dealt with if i keep going on about how it's not maybe it will offend the king it seems like he's being a bit like what do you mean

i've already i got it sorted i sent you a guy have they paid the reward out to the 50 years salary yeah i think i think yeah maybe it's right and man got it yeah the right man's like shut the fuck up yeah i need this. I'm 71. 50-year salary could come in really handy about now. A lot of people my age don't have much in retirement. I'm going to be retiring very comfortably. And on top of this, he didn't really want to keep going on about with the king because the king was dealing with the death of his son, Louis, who had recently passed away from consumption.

I think it was in his mid-30s Cordon de Schwalbe and Romero an outspoken area priest Jean-Baptiste Ollier wrote many letters trying to convince authorities that the beast was not just a wolf and not the animal that Francois Antoine had destroyed but a monster of some kind that was still at large the lack of response to his missives only served to frustrate the cleric. So he's trying to tell people. He's going, come on. But everyone's just like, we don't want to.

It's over. Move on. The beast had officially been killed already. Somehow, though, death's still happening. These attacks continue. And because of this, the documentation isn't as good from this period onwards because they're like, no, it's already been taught. They're pretending it's not happening.

Yeah, exactly. As far as can be gleaned from the records, the beast seemed to head off for a bit of a break between November 1766. It's got some annual leave. And March 1767. This is like, that's through the whole winter time. Maybe he's like, I had a big winter last year.

Yeah. I'm going to take it nice and chill this year. Yeah. Pun intended. Maybe head off to some sort of tropical island. Yeah'm gonna go to mexico to catch up with my mate target cat but yeah after that after the sojourn came back with a vengeance for one final killing spree oh my goodness one last job job. Yeah. Before retirement. This bloody period occurred from March the 2nd until June the 18th, when it is believed there were approximately 35 attacks with 15 people losing their lives.

Far out. But like I say, there could be more because the records weren't as comprehensive then. That's crazy. According to Boysenau, with no assistance coming from outside the region, locals took matters into their own hands, an option that may have been wiser from the beginning, since the previous hunters were unfamiliar with the landscape and had trouble communicating with locals. Her suggestion is, yeah, you were probably, the locals are probably always the best people for the job. We kept getting people from outside in going, oh, this terrain's actually pretty rough. And they're like, what, this terrain's actually pretty rough. Yeah. And they're like, what, this?

We live here. We're at home. We live here. Yeah, we live here. They're like, yeah. So, no wonder the locals were sort of frustrated with them. Yeah. This is fucked. This is my home.

Yeah. The 20-year-old Marquis d'Apture decided to organise an impromptu hunt. So, he's sort of grown up with it now. He was 17 or something when it started. Oh, yeah. Now he's 20. He's like, on that night of June the 18th, that was when the last death happened.

He's like, that's it. We're going to go get it and we're going to go get it now. It was close to midnight and he got together a group of 12 lovely lads. Stapham was there. Jean-Claude Van Damme was there. Ohandale oh wow whoa it's the expendables it's the expendables thank you jet lee jet lee was there george clooney there's a few oceans there as well and the 12 included also the chastel family who you'd remember they tricked the horseman into the bog they went to prison prison. Oh, yeah, love those guys. Lying about a bog.

So they were made up a chunk of the group. They searched into the night. The moon had gone down and the sun had come up, and long ago somebody left with a cup, yet there were still no signs of the beast. At dawn, Jean Chassel, the farmer and barman, who sent them into the bog, realised he hadn't done his daily prayers. He's like, I've been hunting all night. I forgot about my prayers.

Oh, my God. He suddenly pulled out his prayer book and just standing there in the woods, he started praying, doing his daily prayers. Just before he almost finished, he looked up, and you wouldn't bloody believe it, there was the beast. The beast was like, thank goodness I left my prayer book somewhere. Can I look over your shoulder? Yeah. Do you mind if I join you in prayer?

Apparently, he saw it, then he finished his prayer put the prayer book back in his pocket chester had come prepared his gun was a blunderbuss and he loaded up with a random assortment of slugs and nails which i believe were made of silver and cast and blessed by a priest right but can you just fill a gun with like lots of shit and then hope Right. But can you just fill a gun with, like, lots of shit and then hope for- You can put anything you want in a gun. Well, yeah, this is just, like, shrapnel and stuff, and it's just going to spray, basically. That sounds incredibly dangerous. Yeah.

Or incredibly effective. And you- I don't know if you know about silver bullets and werewolves that whole oh yeah this is sort of connecting in that um a bit some say and the priest has blessed them yeah yeah uh which is a bit vampirey as well uh there's garlic in there there's a mirror yeah there's a mirror a crucifix is in there i think i think might have even read that some of the metal was maybe from like a Virgin Mary statue or something, melted down or something. Like they went fully, you know, as symbolic as they could with this shrapnel.

And according to Schwalben Romero, he took up this gun. The beast proceeded on its course, moving fast, winding through the trees. Then it looked up and saw Chastel. They're looking to each other. It came to a stop. Chastel did not move. Man and menace. Chastel ticked off all the characteristics of the beast. That's us, Dave.

Man and menace. Who am I? Menace. The immense size. The odd colouring. The blazing eyes. Like a wolf and yet not a wolf. He fired. Bam. The shot echoed through the blazing eyes Like a wolf, and yet, not a wolf He fired, bam

The shot echoed through the woods It was good The beast shuddered As if something possessed it It stumbled, got up, stumbled again Chastel waited as the chalky gun smoke cleared The beast fell It did not get up again

So, I love how I do love the writing of Schwab and Romero I love that, it love the writing of Schwab and Romero. I love that. It was good. It was good. If you're interested in more, highly recommend. I love how he reads in the audiobook as well. Hot tip. Get onto it.

Then it got sent for an autopsy. According to Williams, the autopsy revealed human remains inside, and the animal had non-wolf characteristics as described by witnesses and then the attacks ended but while it was assumed that the beast chastel bag was the beast doubts remain that it was indeed a wolf no one has ever been able to settle this it's a mystery as to if it was a wolf what it was something else and everyone has theories on it you wouldn't put anything you could suggest anything and someone has a theory that that is what it was. It was actually a duck.

That one? Has somebody said that? Now. Legend has it, apparently, and it's not sure if this happened or not, but apparently Chastel took the body of the beast to Versailles. By the time he got there, it was pretty rank and the king was like, ugh. No thanks. Thanks. Thank you. We've already, this was pretty rank and the king was like, ugh. No thanks.

Thanks. Thank you. We've already, this is something else we've already dealt with. A beautiful gesture, but not for me. I've seen another one before. He's already saying, we've already got this sorted out anyway. And then apparently it was interred somewhere on the palace grounds and they've become lost to history.

So, unfortunately, you know, if they'd kept it somewhere, you know, stuffed it even and the hide went into a museum, we'd know what it was. But we should just dig up all of Versailles to try and find it. Let's do it. Thank you. That's not unreasonable. I don't think that's unreasonable. Shovel by shovel.

We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change

for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Destroy those beautiful grounds. I would argue that is reasonable, even. I'd go that far. Yeah. Until its death, it's estimated the beast had killed

at least 100 people and wounded in the vicinity of 300. Wow. That's 400 victims over a three-year period. Wild. That's incredible incredible so what exactly was the beast of jevedon if you if you get the book this part of the book is the final two-thirds where they start going here's what we think it could be we're diving deep into every theory it's awesome so obviously i'm not going to go anywhere near in that much detail i found a great um article on history.com by this guy, Will Williams,

and I'm going to let him sort of break it down a little bit. He wrote, The beast was consistently described by eyewitnesses as something other than a typical wolf. It was as large as a calf or sometimes a horse. Its coat was reddish grey with a long, strong panther-like tail. The head and legs were short-haired and the colour of a deer. It had a black stripe on its back and talons on its feet.

Many drawings of the beast at the time endowed with lupine characteristics. Is that werewolves or just wolves? Well, it doesn't matter. Witnesses described the beast as an ambush hunter, which stalked its prey and seized it by the throat. The wounds found on the bodies were typically to the head and limbs, with the remains of 16 victims reportedly decapitated. The creature prowled in the evenings and in the mornings.

According to historian Smith, other witnesses claimed the beast had supernatural abilities. It could walk on its hind feet, and its hide could repel bullets, and it had fire in its eyes, and it came back from the dead more than once and had amazing leaping ability. Saved the best one to last, and it could fire in its eyes and it came back from the dead more than once and had amazing leaping ability. Saved the best one to last and it could jump real good. That sounded like a child describing a baddie in a movie. Yeah.

And then they could do this and this and this. So, yeah, let's go through some of the suspects as summarised by Joseph A. Williams. Historian scientists, pseudoscientists and conspiracy theorists have all proposed theories about what the beast was. Among the suspects, a Eurasian wolf, an armored war dog, a striped hyena, a lion, some kind of prehistoric predator, a werewolf, a dog-wolf hybrid, and the most deadly animal of all, the human. Oh, okay. It was a human all along.

With talons on its feet. Obviously, the werewolf one is pretty fanciful, but people did, you know, there were reports. And obviously, there's also thoughts that maybe there was some mass hysteria going on amongst it all. But people are seeing, like, wolfman-like creatures in the forest and whatnot. It's also pretty unrealistic that the beast was an extinct prehistoric predator, such as a bear dog, which some people have suggested. But it would have had to have survived millions of years unseen until this point. Well, if they're in a part of the world that's not even on the map, maybe.

Yeah. Well, that's true. And, like, it's described very similar to the bear dog, you know, like the fossils and whatever. They do think they were quite similar, but, yeah, unlikely to make it through those millions of years. Direwolves, another extinct animal, and the hyanodon. uh there's a which i don't know if it's this one but there's also people think it's you know the whale predecessor ancestor that was on the on earth before they

went into the water yeah some people think it's that like a land whale and some people think it's a duck uh so what about the possibility of it being a human some have suggested that a human serial killer may be responsible for the attacks many of the beast victims were reported to be decapitated something few animals can do while it's unlikely that a killer would roam about for victims in broad daylight wearing a beastial costume those who support this theory believe that the human killer used an animal to carry out the crimes. Others do suggest that it was just a person, and maybe even some of the murders was an opportunistic human killer, you know. I'm trying to take advantage of the hysteria. But you're saying, some people are saying that they trained an animal to kill for them.

Yes. And one of the big theories of recent times, and there's been theories ever since, but one blogger, John Lifton, summarizes one of them, writing, of late, many people have become increasingly concerned by the involvement of one Jean Chastel. I wonder if one of the guys has sent the horses into the bog. Yeah. Jean, a farmer and innkeeper, as we've discussed, and his son, Jean-Antoine, have come under suspicion because when both of them were in prison for a period, because of their aggressive attitude to the gamekeeper, the number of attacks by the monster diminished noticeably. Diminished.

Yeah, didn't end, diminished. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, none of the theories are definitive by any stretch. Every one you can undercut. But he goes on to say, it has therefore been put forward that the beast was the result of Jaune crossing either his own or his son's red-coloured mastiff with a wolf and then subsequently training it to kill.

Almost all the evidence is circumstantial, but much of it quite compelling. The creature may have been particularly aggressive hybrid which they trained to have no fear of humans but instead to attack and to kill them witnesses have said that if its attacks were met with strong resistance the beast would retreat 50 yards or so then sit and wait as if sizing up the situation before finally returning to the fray and this is apparently trained animal behavior not not wild animal behaviour. A wild animal, if it met its match, it would flee for good.

It wouldn't go and have a look. Like, it wouldn't go and sum things up and come back. Oh, right. Like it's waiting for further instructions. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, and then a lot of people notice a man whispering into its ear. Sort of giving it a shoulder rub.

Good boy. Yeah. Good boy. You got him. You're tough. You're un it a shoulder rub. Good boy. Yeah. Good boy. You got him. You're tough. You're unbeatable. Go get that kid. Furthermore, witnesses thought that the beast was driven not by hunger, but by its own fury

and innate aggressiveness, which we talked about before. According to hunters in the 18th and 19th centuries, crosses between dogs and wolves were invariably very varied in appearance, dark or light tinges sometimes marked yellow or white stripes like a zebra this of course agrees with many of the eyewitness descriptions of the beast so here there's a lot of people that think this is what it's a crossbreed that's been trained to kill so it's a human serial killer using their pet basically which sounds like it's a kind of bit of uh the hounds of the basket really sound. It does really sound like the hound of the Basquiat, yes. Back to Williams.

If it was an animal, what animal was it? Some have speculated there was an armoured war dog, which explains its strange appearance and why it shrugged off musket shots. I'm sure you'll explain to us what an armoured war dog is. So, apparently Napoleon had them. He'd use them in war. Dogs and some believed that they would wear like an armoured coat, basically. Bulletproof vest for a dog. dogs and some believed that they would wear like an almond coat, basically, bulletproof

vest for a dog. And this is what, so they thought maybe again, this could be a human trained dog. And this is why it could survive the gunshot wound. They could shoot it a lot, right? Yeah. Or, you know, get knocked down, but get up again. Trouble understand. Striped hyena is another one people talk about.

Some depictions of the beast and the animal slain by Chastel suggest it resembled a striped hyena is another one people talk about. Some depictions of the beast and the animal slain by Chastel suggest it resembled a striped hyena. It's possible that a striped hyena may have been in a person's private holding and then escaped. Since it was not native to France, it would have appeared unusual. However, striped hyenas are not known to attack humans. They're like, looks like it, but doesn't at all behave like it. Well, the other thing about the theory about Chastel's having trained it,

he's the one who ended up killing it. So they're like, maybe that's why he was used to him. So the beast, you know, stopped it in an attack and then he killed it sort of to claim the glory. And the cash. And the cash, maybe, yeah. But was there any cash for the second one? I don't think there was.

We already got it. I think the cash was done, yeah. Yeah, that's annoying. You couldn't pay me enough to shoot my dog. Even if I trained him to kill. I can't train him to fucking piss in the right place. I don't know. The lion theory, apparently Carl Hans Tarky,

a biologist who has written a book on the beast, argues that it may have been an immature male lion. Like the hyena, it's possible that a lion escaped from captivity. The beast reportedly was an ambush hunter that sees prey by the neck and could possibly decapitate him. A lion, Take argues, could exhibit these predatory behaviours. Lions have been known to prey upon humans as food sources. Such, there was a famous

case of the lions in sarvo in which a lion pair killed over 130 victims in under a year another supporting fact is that the territory of the beast at roughly 56 by 50 miles aligns with a lion's typical range eyewitnesses in france at the time were likely not familiar with lions and what they did know about them came from very stylised imagery. So maybe a lion to them could have been the beast that they described. And a sub-adult, like a younger male lion, doesn't have the mane and that sort of stuff and can have like a mohawk stripe running down its back, which matches some of these eyewitness accounts.

Right. And then, as you might remember, our man Duhamel thought the father of the beast was a lion and he, you know, so maybe he was on the right track there. Maybe the mother was a lion as well. Maybe it was just a lion. People have also suggested baboons. What?

Yeah. I'm sorry, pardon? Baboons. But, yeah. And not just one, but multiple, like in a lion suit? Taped together. Yes. No, baboons, they look a bit, they've got a bit of a dog-like face.

Yeah. You see some of them, they kind of look like lions and they run on all fours. And then, obviously, the wolf, that's the big one. Among the theories considered most credible is that wolves perpetuated the attacks. As historian J.M. Smith tells the Smithsonian, Giverdon had a serious wolf infestation, and he believes that large lone wolves

were attacking individual communities across the region, or that it was one wolf pack. Wolves are native to the region and had attacked humans before, despite recent North American studies saying that it is very rare. Some statistics show that wolves attacked humans 9,000 times in France between the 17th and 19th centuries. That's a lot. That is a lot. Yeah. In most cases, these types of attacks were by rabid wolves though. And obviously they can only, they only tend to live for seven days. So it'd be very unlikely.

And then also another flaw in that theory is that if they did have rabies, the people they attacked would have got rabies and that didn't happen. Although there are strong voices arguing multiple theories about the identity of the Beast of the Gévaudan, all admit that the truth will never be fully known. Without any genetic or forensic evidence, the Beast of the Gé jevedon is bound to remain a mystery forever wow but oh i didn't write this down but you know how you're talking about

the bishop how you thought it was him yeah he died like that week no if he was involved somehow what are the odds of that yeah holy shit yeah i reckon it sounds like it was the bish i think we've just blown this case wide it died that week and his body was taken to Versailles and the king was like, I don't want this. Stop bringing me dead shit. This is gross. Stop it. Why are you like cats bringing in dead birds?

I don't want to see this stuff. This is gross. I thought I'd just, can I finish with one last thing? This is about Charles Dickens. I don't think you're familiar with his work. English writer. He wrote about the beast in an 1858 issue of his magazine called Household Words. Wow.

And it seems that he mainly did this to mock the French and the beast itself. Oh. From the safe distance of 600 miles away and 100 years. Yeah, it's tough now, 100 years away. He published a letter in this issue suggesting that if the beast had been in england it would have only survived as long as six weeks and that would only be so so they can enjoy hunting it multiple times before finishing it off you know all right big man all right big man then he wrote so that was a letter he published and

then he wrote this himself he was doubtless a terrible creature to behold, but if he at all resembled the portrait of him which was sent in April 1765, he must have been a creature rather to kill you with laughter than with his teeth and claws. The animal is, in truth, a most ridiculous monster. Indeed, one that Trinculo of Shakespeare's The Tempest, am I saying that right, would have jeered at as a very weak monster, a most poor credulous monster, a puppy headed monster, a most scurvy monster. Indeed, the jester could hardly have it upon any phrase of absurdity whereby to load him with contempt.

As he stands, his curling tail trailing on the ground with ponderous head and cropped ears, with his mouth filled with enormous teeth wide open, Hailing on the ground with ponderous head and cropped ears, with his mouth filled with enormous teeth wide open, as if he were catching flies, with his small sleepy eyes and with the most good nature's expression on his foolish face. Pretty tough words from Chucky D there. Charles, come on, 100 people died. Is this a laughing matter? Do you hear us laughing at all over the last three hours?

Not once. I don't think so. This is the picture he was referring to. That is pretty funny. That is pretty funny. That looks like, that's dumb. It looks like, kind of, I can see it like a hyena slash mongoose and it's wearing those sort of novelty teeth.

Yes. Like they're shoved in novelty dentures. Yeah, almost like one of those Muppets. Who's that Muppet with those teeth? You know, this teeth Muppet? Anyway, that's the end of my report. Any theories before we- Yeah, Dr. Teeth. Any theories? We're Muppet. Anyway, that's the end of my report. Any theories before we- Yeah, Dr. Teeth.

Any theories? We're thinking the bishop. I've said bishop. Locking in bishop. Or duck. You're sticking with duck. Oh, I actually think it was a duck in collaboration with the bish. Right.

I'm not ruling out mole people. Oh, yes. You never can. That's the thing. I'm sure that that's discussed on the Reddit boards. Yes. Mole people. It's got to be.

Yes. Apologies if that was a bit epic i don't have no idea how long that went for but it feels like maybe weeks we are over three hours here great work which is only a few episodes have been reserved for the three hour plus report so well done and we know that that was a beast that you wrestled with into the early hours of this morning and it made a lot more sense than we were expecting. Congratulations. It was funny. I amused myself when I said to you last week that I was working on a real beast of a report.

You had no idea. We didn't get it. I got you so good. I feel so stupid right now. You're bad. I got you. You think you know someone. Yeah.

You can't trust anybody these days. No. You looked foolish. Yeah, I feel foolish That's great, that's such a cool story Me getting you with the beast But I'm amazed that I've never heard of that in any way I love it, amazing Because it's one of those ones, you hear so many of these

Stories of each country's got their Beast, whatever it is But usually, two people have seen it yeah midnight 200 years ago whatever but this one clearly something killed a hundred people yeah and it was documented like for the most part super well a lot of detail yeah a lot of correspondence what what what do you think do you have any do you think it is just a wolf? Oh, man. I mean, it makes some sense because, like, the variations in what they thought it was, you know, like, yeah, different wolves or maybe it was.

There was a hyena working in with a wolf who was being trained by this Chastel character. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm liking this. I'm following. I have no idea, but I went through all thoughts. I'm like, one of the weird things to me was about women and children.

That feels like a human would make those distinctions. Why would a beast be choosing those in particular? Great question. Yeah. So, yeah, I just don't know. Maybe it was just opportunity. Maybe all the men were working indoors at that time. Yeah.

Cowards. Typical. Yeah. Or maybe it was just picking off smaller people, you know, going up. Yeah, I guess it, you know. Generally speaking, women are smaller than men, maybe. I don't know. And then your kids out on their own in the paddock, you think this is an easier picking.

Yeah. So, those kids that fought off badass. So badass. My favourite. And the cows. I reckon they were the quiet heroes of this whole thing. I loved it. And also that poor sheep that they dressed up as Madeline.

It's such a funny image. That guy who was just like, and then you cover that in grease. And then honey. He's like, oh, sorry, I'm giving you a recipe for glazed ham. Sorry, I was doing two things at once. But if you follow that recipe, you will get a fantastic ham. Well, I think that brings us to everyone's favourite section of the show, where we thank a few of our great Patreon supporters.

They voted on this topic, and there's a bunch of other things if you get involved at patreon.com. You get three bonus episodes a month. Soon, perhaps to be four bonus episodes a month if we reach our target. Yeah, we're rocketing towards our Patreon goal. I think we've hit the 90% mark, and if we get there, we have said that we will get a fourth bonus episode a month. So, basically, you know, two episodes a week we'll be putting out. Four on the Patreon per month, including the fourth one will be our Dungeons and Dragons campaign.

Do go D&D. Dunjon and Dragon. A few suggestions have been coming through. We appreciate those names. Still feel like we haven't settled on one yet, so keep them coming. Yeah, it's almost like we've got too many options. Yes, it's overwhelming.

None of them stand out above the rest because they're all bad. But some of them are too, honestly, some of them are too good. Yeah, yeah. I think that's fair to say. And, yeah, there's a bunch of other rewards you can get. Access into the nicest corner of the internet. So many great things. Sophie Shooter in there, our Facebook group mum,

she organised all these great swaps. We're doing a t-shirt one at the moment. You know what I didn't realise? We're allowed to be involved in them. I'm doing the t-shirt swap this time. Awesome. So I'm going to be stressing about picking the perfect t-shirt for my – it's got like an all-year-round Kris Kringle kind of vibe.

Yeah. Yeah, paired up with someone in there by a random number generator and you're sending a T-shirt or a snack or depending on which one it is, somewhere across the other side of the world. Love it so much. That is awesome. A lot of great stuff in there.

But one of the things we do is a section called the Fact, Quote or Question section. I think it has a jingle. It goes something like this. Fact, quote, or question. He always remembers the ding. She always remembers the jingle. And what do you call that?

The thing you did there was fantastic. Sing. Sing. I also remembered the sing. To get involved with this, sign up at the Sydney Schomburg level or above, and you get to give us a fact, a quote, or a question, or a brag, or a suggestion, or really whatever you like. You also get to give yourself a title.

And I should warn you, I read these out for the first time when I'm reading them out. So in case I stuff anything up, don't blame me. Okay. First one here comes from Gary J from the UK, who's given himself the title Daddy Daycare. And he's offered us a fact with a sort of brag. Okay.

Writing, this is a long story, sorry. I'm so proud to have supported this pod at the Sydney Schoenberg level for so long, but I'm going to have to drop my patron level for a year. Me and Nat went through IVF for years and no good. Then we started the adoption process. Now, after over two years of training, social

worker meetings and panels to decide if we're good enough, we've been paired with a little girl. Congratulations, Daddy J! That is excellent news! Congratulations, both of you. Fantastic. That's amazing.

All three of you. Wow. Lucky kid. He continues, I'm going to be taking the year off work to be the main carer, so I'm not going to be able to bring in as much money, but I still need to stay on the bonus episodes plus Facebook group, aka the kindness corner of the internet level. I need all that in my life still.

More important now than ever, the community. You're going to be asking questions like, does this look right? Yeah. Just pictures of the kid. Yeah. Is this right? Should I be doing this? That is amazing.

That is the best news I've heard for a long time. Yeah. Gaddy J finishes by saying saying thank you to you three and this whole community slash family no i'm not crying you are ta-ta for now familiar love that gaddy jay congratulations great news love it that's awesome news the next one comes from amy clark aka brigadier general.a. Brigadier General Forgettable Name. Brigadier. Brigadier.

Brigadier General Forgettable Name. Amy is asking a question writing. Amy Clark is a vanilla name. It's a forgettable name. Already forgotten it. What was it? Who cares? Brigadier. Brigadier General Forgettable Name.

Amy Clark just joking. Amy also takes those fantastic snow photos. Oh, yes, you love the snow photos. Oh, yes. You love the snow photos. She actually lives in the Scotland of France of Canada, I think. The community... Dave just eye rolled his eyes. No, I didn't like...

I was trying to calculate what you meant. I was like... Oh, don't calculate. Cannot compute. Cannot compute. So, Amy Clark asked a question writing, the community you three have created as a delightful companion to this award-winning podcast is something to celebrate.

Love that. I'm not sure we've won any awards, but still. Award nominated. Exactly. Hey, you've got to be in it to win it. And while I'm very much... Oh, hang on. This podcast has won a bunch of Golden Shiny Garys.

You're right. This is the most Golden Shiny Gary Award podcast in history. Yeah, so I think it's fair to say that. Okay, thank you. You're right. This is the most Golden Shiny Gary Award podcast in history. Yeah, so I think it's fair to say that. Okay, thank you. You're right. Sorry. For the awards we made up, of course. And what?

I mean, all awards are made up. God damn it. These ones I always find slightly awkward to read out. It's like, now let's spend a bit of time reading out nice things about us. I'm here for it. Well, you're not reading it. I guess you're just listening, which sounds pretty good. Amy continues, and while I'm very

much looking forward to the North American tour and hopefully my own future trips to Australia, a question occurred to me last night as I was laying in bed, unable to sleep. What is the possible potential possibility of possibly arranging a do-go-on cruise? Oh, Dave, this is... I've legitimately

thought about it before. I mean, it's a great fun idea. I think it'd be a do-go-on dinghy. I don't know if we're going to fill a cruise. Generally thought about, you know how sometimes they do like, they even do... Kiss cruise. They do a comedy cruise, kiss cruise, or like...

Booze cruise. They started doing like punk rock cruises. Oh, different kind of cruises. Because you can't just get little boats and do a booze cruise. Vodka cruises? Oh, different kind of cruises. Because you can't just get little boats and do a booze cruise. Vodka cruises. Tom Cruise. My favourite cruise of all, Tom. Chap laps.

Sorry, what are we? Chap laps. That doesn't make sense to anybody outside of Melbourne, and I will not exploit it. You know how they do those cruises and they've even done like some pop punk cruises like headlined by blink 102 and like some 41 stuff go on there and then you get a couple thousand people that just love that kind of thing i was like what if we did a podcast cruise with us and a bunch of other pods and it's just pod people

on the cruise oh my god j. I'm just, yeah. Sorry, Jess is seasick that day. Fuck, I do get so seasick. And I'm also a big old introvert. It's just a lot. But what you like is being trapped. I do, actually. I find that very comforting, yes.

But the, don't worry, Jess, I had this idea before COVID, and then everyone really went off cruise ships for a long time there. Which means they'll be cheaper now Jess I know how we can sweeten the deal we get you your own tugboat I was literally as soon as you said cruise I was like there'd have to be a tugboat so each day you perform we tug

you on and tug you off is that what we're saying cheeky bit cheeky bit of fun there that is wildly inappropriate I'm sorry was there a double meaning

to what I said I'm sorry Amy continues on maybe it's a huge no no no go in this post pandemic world but god damn

if we could just ignore all that for a moment and all imagine the camaraderie and hilarity that would ensue I think it's a beautiful new Patreon aspirational goal that would be so fun and they do do like short-term like cruises that are only like three or four days yeah i think i think it was you'll

be like two nights three nights or something that's what often they like in melbourne they sometimes do comedy cruises where you know you get on there and pete rosethorn and yeah people like that are performing i I'd do it. Comedy all weekend. Just give me my own room to go and recharge in. We'll give you the captain's quarters. What about the captain? Does that mean I have to drive the boat too?

Yes, I'm afraid so. We're cutting costs. You're going to have to do double shift. But we will end up having a disaster that can be a report in the future. Oh, yeah. That would be really handy. Creating our own content. That's good.

It would be, like, easier on the research because we know it. Eyewitness accounts. No other podcast has covered it yet. We've got the exclusivity. So, Amy finishes by saying, are Patreon stretch goals still a thing anymore? They're not. They don't let us do them anymore.

But we're doing our own one for the D&D, fourth bonus podcast a month. But, you know, maybe the cruise can go on there next. And we call the cruise ship The Barge. The Barge. Shake it out into international waters. Amy finishes by saying- Chris DeBarge.

Yeah. I still don't know who Chris DeBerg is. You've got to get on board The Barge. The Browse board the barge. The brows on the barge. I reckon if we were out there with Chris DeBerg and there was a Titanic situation, just grab onto one of his eyebrows and you'll be whisked to safety. A life brow. Oh, those brows aren't sinking.

His name's Chris Davison. Oh, don't tell me that. No, is he made up his last name? Don't tell me that. Is he made up DeBurge? Known professionally as Chris DeBurge. What? That's not his name.

Did you come here today to ruin a dream? Yes. Why did he choose that name? Because it's the best name ever. Chris DeBurge. Chris DeBurge. Amy finishes by saying, thanks for the uplifting content you three make sure that gets to us all every single week. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Amy Clark. Appreciate you. DeBerg is his mother's maiden name. Oh, great. So there's a reason for that. So it's okay. DeBerg.

DeBerg. Next one comes from Travis Corbell, aka Waste Management Consultant. And there's a question here writing, what would your extremely specialised role in your 15 to 20 person bank ice crew be? Ooh. The pace split will be awful, but the real treasure is the friends we make along the way. I would be, I love it how people answer their questions when they ask one, and he does so writing,

I would be the light foot for when we need someone to cartoonishly sneak past two guards who are bantering about people they see on the security cameras a very important role that's very important i'm not a good uh light foot creeper so i would never put my hand up for that role um i think i'd be the i'd be the one creating a distraction you know i'd be i'd be there going huh door-to-door pots and pants salesman oh my god oh god what am i doing oh sorry oh i'm so sorry let me collect my ping pong not again i'm so sorry anyway do you cook and then he's here in your ear, okay, we're in.

I go, sorry, thank you, everybody. And then I'm now just accidentally doing ping pong, ping, the whole way down the street. And the guys have never even said a word. They didn't answer you at all. Yeah, they were going, that's weird. That was a bit strange. Anyway, back to laughing at the security camera person.

That seems to be some sort of a loop. What about you, Bob? Oh, yeah. I was going to say I'd be a distraction as well. Yeah. Just because the woman always is. Oh, okay. You know, I just go in there and flirt with somebody.

Hey, big boy. Okay, now it's Dave. We're doing... Me and Dave are doing... We're competing to distract- Oi! I'm working here. Dave's in the pots and pans.

Dave's walked in in short shorts and a low-cut top, and he's sitting on a desk going, Hey, big boy. But then meanwhile, while you're in pots and pans and you're flirting with big boy, I'm doing backflips in the background. I'm crawling through the air vents. Yeah, we can see you behind them doing the flips.

That's sick. We all claim an equal split. I'm hanging from the air vent We can see you behind them doing the flips That's sick We all climb an equal split I'm hanging from the roof Dave's going ooh la la My god do you ever use that gun It's awfully hot in here don't you think At the natural history museum What are we stealing

Big dinosaur bone Is that a Big dinosaur bone. Is that a big dinosaur bone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Great question, Travis. That's a great question. We can all just team together for the distraction. I love it. And the final one this week comes from Tessa Chilcott, aka Asset Manager.

No qualifications. Just in case. Oh, just because it's Tessa backwards. Love that. Oh, good one. Tessa is a real answer it's Tessa backwards. Love that. Oh, good one. Tessa is a real answer. And Tessa's also asking questions, writing, who is your favourite Disney character?

I'm on night shift. I can't be expected to be creative. So she hasn't answered her own question, but I appreciate that. That's okay. I know if Evan Munro-Smith was here, he would say Andy from Toy Story. Oh, God, what a cop-out. That's his answer to every question. Yeah.

Who's your favourite? I'll stop you right there. Andy from Toy Story. Oh, God. What a cop out. But that's his answer to every question. Yeah. Who's your favourite? I'll stop you right there. Andy from Toy Story. I was going to say ice cream flavour. I stand by my statement. Yeah. Ooh. Okay.

Disney. We going classic Disney or are we including Pixar and stuff? Yeah. Can I say I love Piglet from Winnie the Pooh? Oh, yeah. Piglet's got a great vibe. You got a bit of Piglet from Winnie the Pooh. Oh, yeah. Piglet's got a great vibe. You got a bit of Piglet about you. Very positive energy.

But also. You're a little pig. Yeah. Seems a little bit wussy, but sometimes brave when he needs to be. I've never seen you be brave. Have you ever? Piglet, there's a couple of stories where Piglet's like, oh, I'm Saturday Disney. Oh, sorry, me.

Yeah. I'm waiting for my Piglet moment. Thank you. Oh, so me. Yeah. I'm waiting for my piglet moment. Thank you. Oh, this nickname quickly stuck. Just as I recall. I've never seen Piglet be brave. Oh, not that piglet. I literally said I've never seen you be brave,

and he immediately just went, oh, no, there's a couple of stories. I thought you said piglet as well. No. What's the question? Favorite Disney character. When Saturday Disney was on when I was a kid, it always ended with Winnie the Pooh and I was like, ugh. Yeah.

Oh, I didn't like the Pooh. Now looking back, it's probably one of the better shows, but yeah. He's never liked Pooh, Matt. That's true. I remember in DuckTales, I liked that RoboDuck, whatever he was. Gizmo or something. I never watched DuckTales. I don't know.

That's tough. Goofy's pretty good. Or is he doing classic Disney? I think I'm going to go with classic Disney. Yeah, you've gone pretty classic as well. Jasmine's a pretty good character from Aladdin. The tiger in Aladdin. Oh, yeah, good one.

The genie in Aladdin. The genie. Robin Williams. Oh, the genie is pretty great. Real scene stealer. I actually think Will Smith did a good job. Yeah, that was a good remake. No, I would go for Rapunzel.

Oh, yeah. Okay. That Daniel Golden. Yeah. And Flynn Rider. Rapunzel is my- Who's Flynn Rider? He's a Disney prince.

Oh. Is that a modern one or is that an old one? That's the modern one. Oh, yeah, right. From Tangled. Tangled. I don't know if I've seen- Oh, no. You've got to watch Tangled. Maybe. I can't remember. I'm sure as a kid I watched an old one? That's the modern one. Oh, yeah, right. From Tangled. Tangled. I don't know if I've seen. You've got to watch Tangled.

I can't remember. I'm sure as a kid I watched the old one. Mandy Moore. Oh. Oh, wow. Really good stuff. Didn't know that. Love Tangled.

Yeah, that's my profile on Disney+. I'm Rapunzel. And Aiden's Flip Rider. Well, actually, my favourite Disney character is probably Principal Skinner. Okay. Disney bought The Simpsons. All right, if that's the case, I'm going Lionel Hunt. That is actually my favourite Simpsons character.

Oh, really? He's so good. Thank you so much for that great question. Tessa. Yeah, good one. I'd like to know what other people's are because there's obviously so many. Oh, there's millions. I'm sure there's some that I'm not even thinking of that I go, yes.

Tessa, get that and go on in the Facebook chat if you're in there, as in a thread in there, if you want to. No pressure. No pressure. Just anyone. It'll be fun. Sometimes I'm like, we really should do these Fat Quota question questions in the Facebook Patreon group.

Yeah, there's some awesome questions. Especially because we sometimes record a week or so in advance. But if anyone, someone should kick that off if they want. Any of those questions we just answered. The other thing we like to do is thank a few of our other great Patreon supporters. Jess, you know when we come up with a bit of a game based on the topic at hand? I do, don't I? Maybe what animal or whatever their theory.

Put two animals together to make their beast. Oh, yeah. Great. Oh, good one. Yes, I like this. And maybe I'll kick us off first. Yes. Love to.

All right, I'll do the name and then you say an animal each. Okay, yeah, great. Oh, good one. Yes, I like this. And maybe I'll kick us off first. Yes. Love to. All right, I'll do the name and then you say an animal each. Okay, yeah, great. Nice and easy. That way we also all get a turn of just getting to read a name. Yeah. And I'm just having a bit of a freaking break. Get a break. Oh, I've always got to be coming up with something.

I've been thinking all day. Okay, okay, okay. First up, I'd love to thank- Clear your mind, Steve. Clear your mind. Doreen. From Doreen in the Australian Capital Territory, it's Ethan and Ash. Crab.

Whale. Ooh. Crab whale. Aquatic. Yes. That's good. One teeny tiny, one huge. Yeah, so somewhere between just like medium.

Yeah, it's the medium crab whale. That's a big whale. But it's a real fucking big crab. Yeah, it's a big crab. That is a big crab. You know what I mean? But a small whale. Yes.

It's all relative. I'd also love to thank from Los Angeles, La La Land itself, Eugene Flewellen Williams V. Oh, my goodness. The fifth. Keep that going. All right, Jess, you say something here. Okay.

Kangaroo. Frog. Oh, a couple of hoppers. Yeah. A couple of hoppers. They're hopping mad. We are very simpatico today. This is good.

And finally, from me, I'd love to thank from Levittown in Pennsylvania, it's Jessica Story. Okay. Pelican. Liar bird. Oh, bird. Bird on bird action. How are we doing this? Oh, my God.

Should we get married? I think it's the only option now. My turn. Jess, David. Oh, combining those two in holy matrimony. A pelican lyrebird, though. Yeah, that's great. I love a lyrebird.

Two of my favourite birds together at last. Yeah. Could I thank some people as well? Oh, I'd love it if you did. No. Do you have more? Do you have more? No, I did three.

Okay, fantastic. You do three okay uh i would love to thank from lexington ky kentucky kentucky we've got a couple do we have somebody else from kentucky no but lexington kentucky i'm pretty sure it's featured in previous episodes yeah well in the maybe the transy book heist from that beautiful town i would cocaine bear I would love to thank Bingus. Oh, Bingus. Bingus. I can't help but say bear. Yak. Bear yak.

Bear yak. Or a yak bear. Now, that is my kind of animal. I've got to tell you, that is a thick- That's a beast. Chunky beast. Not a lot of neck. No, I love it.

And you like no neck. That might be one of the best animals ever. Yeah. A bear yak. That's great. Holy shit. Holy wow. I would also have to thank from deep within

the fortunes of the moles. We can only assume. Location unknown. It's been a really long day. I would love to thank Nathan G. Nathan G. The octopus. Horse. Oh, eight legs. If it's on land, but it has eight legs and the

movement of an octopus, but the speed of a horse. That's unstoppable. That's unstoppable. And also, octopus, very intelligent. Yeah. That's an unstoppable animal. Whoa. That's a great combo. Good job.

It still has the big horse dick, but it squirts ink. Jess is moving on over there. I don't miss a horse dick. Got it. Don't worry about it. You didn't even hear what he said. You just looked up and knew from his face. I reckon he just talked about a horse dick. Got it. Don't worry about it. You didn't even hear what he said. You just looked up and knew from his face. I reckon he just talked about a horse dick.

He's regretting this. I would finally love to thank from Lannan in Great Britain, Rhiannid Owen. Ooh, Rhiannid. What about? You go first. Okay. Hawk.

Platypus. Oh, that is also. I love platypi. It was platypus, sorry. And I don't know if I love. I don't mind a hawk. Platypus. Oh, that is also, I love platypus. It was platypus, sorry. And I don't know if I love, I don't mind a hawk. Yeah. Hawks are pretty cool. Hawks are cool.

It's a great word, hawk. A platypus already is, seems like a combination of a few animals. Yes. The flying ability, that's amazing. They did think platypus, like when they discovered a platypus, they were like, this is a prank. Yeah, when they sent them to the UK, apparently they're like, all right, very good.

We get it. While they're believing something that is like an obvious prank, they're like, we're not going to fall for that. Anyway, let's put this dinosaur back together, and they're putting it with its, you know, the tail is its dick or something. That looks about right to me. He's got dick again.

Yeah, he's got dick on the brain. I'm over using dick. All right, Dave, bring it home. Matt, you and I, sync up. Here we go. I would like to thank, from McDowell in Queensland, big shout out to Courtney Lamb. Okay.

Okay. Let's see whether this sounds just as mine. I cannot shake a lamb out of my head. Okay, come on. I'm trying to get a sheep out. Camel. Toe. I cannot shake a lamb out of my head. Okay, come on. I'm trying to get a sheep out. You're trying to get a sheep out. Camel. Toe.

I thought the same thing, though. I thought, to be fair, we were trying to sync up, but I thought it was anything. I'm like, I'm not going to think of anything until she said something, and then I'll just say something. Did you say toe or toad? Toad. Toad.

Camel toad. Camel toad. Sorry, I thought you were, I was like, that's fucking clever, man. Yes, it was. It was. Very clever. Camel toad. Yeah, and I was saying, yes, I was you were I was like, that's fucking clever, man Yes, it was Yeah, and I was saying Yes, I was thinking toad also Good one, everyone We are all very smart

Well, let's see if we have similar things I'm going to fully blank the mind Just say the first thing that comes to mind I'd like to thank from San Francisco in California I believe they call it the city It is Ian Knight. Ian Knight. Blanking out.

Blanket. Firefly. Sna. Snail. Sna. Snail? Snail. Firefly snail.

But as we call them in Australia, snail. It's just our accent. Snail. Snail. Firefly snail. That actually does sound like an American to an Australian accent. Snail. Snail. Firefly snail. That actually does sound like an American to an Australian accent. Snail. If a snail could light up like a firefly, that would look so cool.

And also a bit spooky. Yeah. Because I don't want to know where they are. Jess, I have not been good at that. Should we switch? And I'll go first for this last one. Okay, sure. See if you can say an animal.

All right. Any animal. Let's try. Okay, good on you, Ian Knight. an animal. All right. Any animal. Let's try. Okay, good on you, Ian Knight. And finally for me, I would like to thank from Newport in Oregon, it is John Kilcrease. Wombat. Beaver elephant. Wombat elephant.

Wombat beaver elephant. Wow. Three together. Yeah. And the gas is pungent. It just said say it out of one. I was like, I'm going to do these. I'm not going to do that.

I'm going to do a fart noise because I can. Thank you so much for all your support. John, Ian, Courtney, Reenad, Nathan, Bingus, Jessica, Eugene, Ethan and Ash. Bingus is great. The last thing we need to do is welcome a few people into the Triptych Club, which Dave explained so well. Basically, what we've got here is a hall of fame thing we need to do is welcome a few people into the Triptych Club, which Dave explained so well. Basically, what we've got here is a hall of fame that we induct the people that have been on the shout-out level

or above for three consecutive years. We've already given them a shout-out and a nickname or something, but to enshrine them forever because they stay true and have been hanging with us for so long, we induct them to the hall of fame, which is like a clubhouse, a theatre of the mind thing that we've got with food and drinks and live music. And once you're in, you can never leave.

But why would you want to? Yeah. Also, there's an official tattoo. Oh. It's fireworks. Oh, yeah. I looked it up. They look pretty shit.

Oh, no. They would be hard to capture. Yeah, hard to capture. One day in the future. The magic's hard. They're getting better. Yeah. At, like, doing real intricate stuff.

I want one that's essentially a gif. I saw it. Of just fireworks coming off. Oh, that's good. That'd be cool. I saw a friend's one, new one recently, and I'm like, that was not possible five years ago. Like, the detail, the fine lines that they're able to get in, it's amazing how quickly tattoo tech is coming along. Pretty cool.

And, yeah, Jess, you normally... Wait, how much have you explained of this, Dave? I just said what we do here, but Jess is in charge of the food and drink I mentioned. Every week she brings in a new cocktail, new bit of food. What have we got? French martinis.

One of my favourites, actually. That's a great drink. Fantastic. A martini. Vodka, Chambord, pineapple juice. Delicious. Oh, yes, actually. Please.

That does sound good. And then some French food Like French onion soup And snails And Crepes Oh man

So nothing gross this week And I'm not getting any praise You did say snails Okay true Yeah no I forgot about that That's a delicacy though Oh yeah I will not be partaking

Dave you normally book a band Yeah you're never gonna believe it You know I always Book these Months if not years in advance, of the people of this calibre. But I have booked, somehow, a French band, Air. Whoa. Oh.

Duo from- Sexy Boys. Is that them? And they're from Versailles, and they are for Sexy Boys. You're right. So, is there like a village at Versailles or a city? I just thought it was a- Yeah, yeah, it's not that far outside of Paris.

For some reason, I just thought that was the name of the palace itself. There's the palace, but then there is also a town around it, yep. Yeah, awesome. Yeah, I didn't know. Am I thinking of the right band? Sexy Boy or whatever it's called? That is their song, yes. That's their- that one song?

That's their first big single that put them onto their- Great. Onto the world stage, and now here they are to perform it live. It's here. Oh, I can't believe you got them. That's their first big single that put them onto their- Great. Onto the world stage. And now here they are to perform it live. It's here. Oh, I can't believe you got them. That's what we sang later on. I can't think of the song.

I'm trying to find it. Yes, that's it. Oh, sexy boy. That one. It is noted for allowing the band and French dance music more generally to break through to British and American markets. Ah, Daft Punk came in their slipstream. Maybe.

They would have definitely been active. They did what? They were active by 1998. Hmm. And they have air to thank for it. So, is there anything else to do apart from me read out these names? No, I think we're ready to go. Sierra the Mind here.

I'm standing at the door lifting the velvet rope. I'm going to read out six inductees names right now. Dave's on the stage, he's the MC, he's hyping up, he does this for a living. You could go to a TV taping in Melbourne and he is there hyping up crowds. To be fair, I don't usually hear what people's names are and then do a little

joke about their name, to be fair. How do you warm up your TV audiences? That's only an exclusive thing to our podcast. Oh, wow, okay. I'm going to read audiences? I must say, that's only an exclusive thing to our podcast. Oh, wow. Okay. I'm going to read out these names, Dave. Are you ready?

Oh, Jess also helps Dave out because he gets a bit sensitive. I often give him constructive criticism and Jess needs to boost him up again because he takes it a bit hard sometimes. Are we ready to go? Absolutely. Okay. Here we go. First up, I'd love to thank From Address unknown

Can only assume From deep within The fortress of the moles It's Deck Deck the holes Do you think it's Ant and Deck deck Who knows

We can't know Probably And where is Ant Where is he Where's his support Unbelievable He's not in the club And it's finally good

To get Deck away from Ant No but we'll feel really bad If Ant joins the Tribute to Club Like next week Yeah Oh yeah You know So don't talk too much Trash I'd also love to welcome in No, but we'll feel really bad if Ant joins the Trips to Club like next week. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know, so don't talk too much trash.

I'd also love to welcome in from Winston-Salem in North Carolina, home of those plants that chomp down on flies. Fetus fly traps. It's Tim Dolan. Keep Tim Dolan, Dolan, Dolan, Dolan. Tim Dolan, Dolan, Dolan, Dolan. What? Tim.

Say what? I'd also love to welcome in from Christchurch in New Zealand. It's Waitangi Narimu. Thank Christchurch. It's Waitangi Narimu. From Beeston in Great Britain. It's I think our podcast librarian. It's Rachel Jareth.

They're a beast. We were talking about beasts this week. That feels appropriate. Rachel Jareth, we think you We were talking about beasts this week That feels appropriate Rachel Jareth We think you're the best The beast You're the beston The beston from beaston

There it is Rachel Jareth Woo Loved hanging out with you Rachel Yeah it was awesome When Dave and I were in town last year When I say town I mean Great Britain You took us out in a few places

From Devon Park in South Australia Welcome in Mikey Overduin. This is a long Overduin. Please welcome Mikey Overduin. That's so good. And finally, from, oh, my. What am I guessing?

Estonia? Oh, Tallinn is Estonia. Yes, my goodness. And finally, from Tallinn in Estonia, it's Abraham Eifert.. Yes, my goodness. And finally from Tallinn in Estonia, it's Abraham Eifert. I hope I'm not being too Eifert. Please welcome Abraham. Overt. Sounds a bit like overt. I thought you might have

gone some tower type one because it's almost like awful. Oh, right. Gotcha. But that what you did was equally baffling. Welcome. Thanks, Abraham. Abraham. No, no.

Join me on LinkedIn. Abraham LinkedIn. Join me on Abraham LinkedIn. What are you talking about? No, it's good stuff. No, it's not. Abraham Lincoln. That's terrible.

LinkedIn. No. Remember when Jess did it recently and she made it look good? Man, you were no good at this. Why doesn't Jess do it? I'm not doing it What would you do with Abraham Ifrit? I'd say hello

So let's keep it at Dave Stay Ifrit and not alarmed It's not even an Ifrit to welcome you in See I tell you Give it to Jess That's the best one That's the only one that didn't need explanation Welcome into the club and make yourselves at home, Abraham, Mikey, Rachel,

Waitangi, Tim and Dec. And fuck you, Anne. Nah, good on ya. Good on ya, Anne. Nah, good on ya, Anne, for listening. Oh, good on ya. Now, that brings us to the end of the episode. Anything we need to tell people before we go, Bob?

They can suggest a topic at dogoonpod.com. Honestly, if you've listened this far, maybe buy yourself a treat. You've earned it. Well done and epic. And we appreciate you listening right through to the end. If you are, why don't you just give us the secret signal and then we'll know that you've stumbled this way. And you can follow us on social media as well at dogoonpod

across Facebook, Instagram, probably TikTok. I don't know. I haven't logged in for ages. I can only assume we have millions of followers on there. Well, I haven't checked, so yes. It's like Schrodinger's listeners. Get on there because we are going to start filming episodes and I'm sure we'll be putting little clips up on there.

Absolutely. Hey, we'll be back next week with another, I can only assume, classic episode. But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening and goodbye. Later. Bye. Let's move.