Do Go On - 403 - The Beast of Gévaudan

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

In the 1670s a mysterious beast terrorised the villagers of the Gévaudan province in France, in this epic episode we hear the Beast's story - full of mystery, death, heroes, villains and lot of spot on French pronunciations, enjoy!This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 08:54(though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodLive show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our merch: https://do-go-on-podcast.creator-spring.com/ Check out our AACTA nominated web series: http://bit.ly/DGOWebSeries​ Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present.  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:Beast: Werewolves, Serial Killers, and Man-Eaters: The Mystery of the Monsters of the Gévaudan by S. R. Schwalb and Gustavo Sánchez Romerohttps://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/beast-gevaudan-terrorized-france-countryside-180963820/https://www.history.com/news/beast-gevaudan-france-theorieshttps://www.forbes.com/sites/davidbressan/2017/06/28/terror-and-geology-the-beast-of-gevaudan/?sh=6581fef722c4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amana, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to another episode of Doogone. My name is Dave Warnocky, and as always, I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins.

Hello, I'm Matt Stewart. What? I'm also Matt Stewart. My bank account details are... I've got a pen. Thus. Okay, here we go. If you know them off by heart, you are not the real Matt Stewart.

How would you freaking remember that? No, nobody... No, I don't know. I don't know that. I don't mind. Your bank details, what are they? They are. I just follow it.

But do you really? Yeah. Really? You don't know the one that people, like you know, transfer you most frequently, people go, what's your details? I wouldn't trust myself to just, like, just off the top of my dome. But I think if you were like, are the account that ends in this? I'd be like, yeah, that's the one. Right.

I also think I've got an online shopping problem because I also know my credit card off by her. Oh, I did for a long time and then I had to replace the credit card. And now, unfortunately, my computer remembers it. And now it's like, well, I don't have to remember anything. Welcome to the future. You'd have to know anything. It's the best. I love it here.

They say the computer, oh, it's bad. I don't give a shit. Hack me. I don't care. Hack me. Okay. That goes out there. I once got hacked.

It wasn't very good having no money for, I think that it was like four months. It was ages, yeah. It was far too long. The bank, because there's a law here at least that, you know, if certain ways you're hacked and money stolen from you, they, it's insured or whatever and they have to get it back to you. But there's a certain amount. of time that they're allowed to take and they took all that time plus one day. And they said, oh, we finally got to it. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Yeah, I bet you just got to it.

When you closed your accounts with that bank, were they like, oh, why? Yeah, how are you doing? It was pretty satisfying day, closing my... They're not too busy laughing on that big pile of money to know the amount of living. Yeah, I was a real Homer and Flaming Moes. You've lost yourself a customer. Sorry, cha-ching. Sorry, chiching. Sorry, I can't quite hear you, chiching. Hey, anyway, how good is it to be alive? I wish I was never born. Oh.

Well, I like to describe how this show works. Okay. That's my thing. Go for it. What we do here on Do Go On is we take it in terms of report on a topic, often suggested to us by one of the listeners, whoever's the reporter, goes away, does a bit of research and brings it back to the crew with the little reports. We always start with a question to get us onto topic.

Before we do, though, I have a question for Dave. Oh, okay. I have a question for Dave, because it is Matt's turn. to do a report this week. And I was just wondering if you wanted to have a go of being a SaaS twin with me. Oh my gosh. Hold on. Is this a prank?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, prank. It just feels like a prank. I know, but I thought, like, Matt and I've been the SaaS twins for such a long time. And it's, we've always really excluded you, mostly because you're just, like, you're just not as fun as us. And, but I just thought if you, maybe after all these years wanted to just have a go, I'm not saying you're replacing Matt at all, but Matt's busy today doing the report. This is the greatest honor of my life. Okay. You're married.

But this is the greatest honour of my life. Okay, yep. And do you think, yeah, do you think he's fit my big shoes? Oh, no, no, no. But I just think he can have a go. Again, not a replacement. No, I'm not saying, I'm stoked if you think, I'm like, oh, that's great. I've been waiting for this day.

I think he's seen. I've been excited about this day. I can't live forever. Someone has to put on these boots one day. Yeah. And Dave has been on the receiving end of the SaaS twins for such long time. I feel that boot many times. I feel like maybe he's picked up a thing or two, but we'll see.

And honestly, because I know that I won't live forever, that's why I've got to stress you this rhetorical question, how good is it to be a life? How good is it a life? And we always start with a question. And do you have a question this week, you little beer? How am I going? How are going so far? That's good.

That's not bad. Thank you. Hey, here's something I learned on a recent, who knew with Matt Stewart, by the way. The word sass emerged in the 19th century from the adjective sassy, which you began as a variation on saucy from the idea that words can be zesty, sharp or spicy. Oh! That's from vocabulary.com. I like that.

So you could also say, give me a little bit of sauce. Yeah. I like it. I think it's sort of like curse and cuss, sauce and sass. Uh-huh. Maybe. Anyway, a bit of fun. Okay.

All right, so I'm asking a question to get us on the topic. The question is, who did Kelsey Grammar play in X-Men 3? Is he beast? He is beast. Well done. Well done, Dave. There you go. I have not seen it.

I haven't seen it. Well done. Didn't know Kelsey Grammar was in an X-Men film. Name an actor. They've all been in one. Name any actor. Helen Mirren. Yep.

I was also thinking Helen Mirren. She played Cyborg 3. God, she was good. She was robbed of that Oscar. So this week, we are not talking about the, probably the most panned in the early trilogy of X-Men, X-Men 3. Right. We are not talking about that, unfortunately.

Are we talking about Beast, though? Because we are talking about A Beast. Beast after Wolverine was my second favourite from the cartoon. Well, you might enjoy an episode of primates that I did, focusing specifically on the Beast. So we've already covered it. Okay. Okay, and how about Gambit, my third favourite?

No. He's the playing cards that exploded. Damn, that's cool. Oh, that is cool, actually. That is cool. I don't understand. How is that possible? He's an ex-man.

Basically, if you have any question about that show, the answer is they're an ex-man. They're the most fucked combination of sense. Matt has got three drinks. There's water, there's orange juice, there's coffee, and he chose the worst one where he went straight from an OJ onto an iced coffee. That was bonkers. What do you mean? That was uncomfortable. Oh, he's going for some water now, too.

I think the only possible explanation is that Matt is some sort of ex-man. All hungover. That's the only way where you need. that much hydration in that many different forms. Report writing hungover. I was up quite late. Working on this. So it's some sort of beast.

A beast. A beast. A beast. So we should stop fucking around. So this week, we're talking about the mysterious beast of the gervoudon, which hopefully, that's probably the one French word I'm going to say vaguely correct. Okay. Because I've listened to an audio book about it and it gets said a lot.

Jevudon. And I'm sure I'm still butchering it. But it's something like, the beast of jevoudon. I think I sound great in French. Oh, we've. Agree. This has been suggested. This is what made me realize it's a good topic to do because it was suggested into the hat, which anyone can do.

If you go to the dugon pot.com website, there's a link there to suggest topics into the hat. But it was suggested by Victoria from France. Whoa. So you know it's good. Yeah. And I hope Victoria's still listening, because I feel like I've been borderline offensive to French people recently. So this episode is my peace offering. Okay.

Where I'm going to talk about a lot of them being murdered. Cool. Hang on. By the beast of Javerton. It's also been suggested by many others, including Aaron from India. Paul Fleer from Brunswick East, Keith Murphy from Derry in New Hampshire, Tom Beasley from London, Maddie Layden from Melbourne, Ethan Lee from Brunton, Peter C, Kinesler from Wilmington, North Carolina, the home of the eating plant.

William Davis from Placeville, California. Vinnie Policastro from Manorhawken, New Jersey. New Dorsey. Is that next one of New Jersey? I think it is. New Jersey. Toby from Tiptree and Scott Coventry from Grenoc. Wow, these people are from all over.

Multiple continents covered there, and this is a topic I've never heard of. Yeah. And we had one from the exotic and, you know, exciting place of East Brunswick. Yes. Incredible. Paul Fleer. Yeah, he went from France to India to East Brunswick. Paul Fleer, in fact, I don't know if you remember my hit show, Footy Footy Foot.

Paul Fleer is the man who carved the letters for the front of the desk. Really? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. He has like one of them carving machines. Do you do the computer? 3D printer? And then it cuts them precisely.

Yeah. How about that? That's pretty cool. Paul Fleer's a cool guy. Two separation, two degrees of separation from greatness right here. Me to Matt DeFleer. All right. Let us begin.

I've read and listened to a book as I like to do when I'm researching a topic. I need to take it with both of my senses. I need to smell it. Yeah. This beast smells like shit. So I've been reading and listening to the book. Beast, Werewolves, Serial Killers and Man Eaters, The Mystery of the Monsters of the Jevoudon by S.R. Schwalb and Gustavo Sanchez Romero.

Oh my goodness. Wow, so big they needed two authors. And incredible names. I'm going to be quoting Schwalb and Romero quite a bit, including these very words. Of the two, who's your favourite? Do you have a favourite? I don't know where the words are divided. Oh, okay. But probably Schwalb.

I would assume they would do it sort of that way we sometimes do. the Patreon section and take a word each. Yeah, word at a time. Just back to take turns. In the beginning. This is good. This is flowing. Oh my God.

Dave, should we write a book? Only Dave plays all three parts in the beginning. I said, should we? As in Dave and I. So there's two parts and we'll take turns, thanks. Fast twins. They are doing it. So yeah, here's Shwold.

As the story goes, a terrified young woman had returned home from attending her cattle to declare she'd had a hair breadth escape from a beast. The beast ignored the bovines in favour of her, but despite the close call, she managed to escape with her life. She claimed the creature was like a wolf, yet not a wolf. This young woman was from Lagoonot in France. In their Javertant. It's a full immersive experience when you watch Matt pronounce these words. I think every muscle in your body gets into that. Can we hear what's the place called again? Well, I mean, I'm not, for a good reason, the whole region is called the Gévudon.

But this particular one was Lagoon-on. I'll say that differently. But I'm not making fun. I'm trying. We're making fun of you. No, we're not making fun of France. Don't you, all right. That's a beautiful language.

And it is hard to pronounce things that are different. languages, of course. But we're laughing because your voice deepens and the hands gesture. Yeah, and your mouth moves in multiple ways. It's beautiful. It's exciting. It's such a shame. At some point this year, we're going to start filming the episodes. What a shame it wasn't today. When you're zooming in on. And Matt just having multiple drinks going.

It's fucking loose Canada over here. It's crazy. It's wild. But that's a scary picture you've painted. Yeah. She's gone out. It's a wolf, but not a wolf. A wolf, not a wolf. You're shitting yourself.

Yes. And also that they're like, you know, you're wolf-like creature. Look at all this beautiful boof that we've got here. Beef in French. Le boof. We got all this beautiful boof here and you're coming for me, a girl, a scorning little human. So that was one thing as well. It was a bit.

Like, there were human. human attacks, but they're much rarer. So this is a pretty grisly topic. There's a lot of human death, a little bit of animal death as well. So just a heads up, if anyone out there doesn't feel like hearing about lots of death today, maybe not the up for you. But I won't go into a lot of the details. And it did happen many, many years ago. In fact, let us begin with the first death. Oh my gosh. On the 30th of June 1764. I know many years ago. Yeah, many, many years ago. I feel great about it. I was about it. I was about it to leave, but I'm fine.

They'd be dead anyway. Exactly. Long dead. This beast would be dead anyway. How long do wolves live for? This is like a wolf. How long to like wolves live for? The only difference is that this wolf lives for a non-wolf time, like 200 years.

Still, we're still dead. We're still fine. Don't worry about it. 30th of June 1764, Jean Boulaye, a 14-year-old shepherd, took her small flock of sheep out to a meadow and she never returned home. the mysterious beast attacked Boulaye leaving the sheep bee. Here's some more from our great mates, Schwalb and Romero. Little did anyone know that Jean Boulaye's death would set in motion

the mystery of a man-eating monster that would electrify all of France. She was interred on the 1st of July, and according to the official record documented by a priest, Father Soucher, having been killed by the, quote, ferocious beast. So I already talking about it like they knew, and it was the ferocious beast, you know what I mean? Not a.

Yeah. And this is obviously being translated from French. It would have been, Le feroche bed, something like that. But also, how can you say it's ferocious? If you haven't seen it.

Like, ferocious is a, is a, what's kind of a word is that? It's an adjective. Adjective. Yeah. But you're saying that like, unless you see it in an,

in action in its ferocity. Yes. Even if you come across like the remaining bones or whatever, you go, that could have taken them ages. Exactly. They could have nibbled for weeks. We don't know. We don't know.

They could have, hmm. Oh, very moorish. And they could have apologised the whole time. Oh, I'm so sorry about this. This is just in my nature. Exactly. It's not what I want to do. Go to survive.

This is business. This is not personal. Yeah. I mean, you're bringing up these sheep to eat. Yep. So you've got to see why it's not actually that full. on. You get it.

You'd be a hypocrite to not let me eat you right now. But I'm not taken away from my apology. I'm very sorry. Very sorry. But I will not be asking for permission. I am just going to eat it. But I will be making a donation to a charity of your choice. Yes.

If that's okay. Yeah, that's what I mean. How can you write? Ferocious things. There might have been a polite beast. We don't know. But it does make it seem like, you know, it had been seen before, perhaps by that first girl I talked to you about.

Yeah, right. So they're aware of it. That was a month or so before. Right. This is the first. So I think they're putting two and two together that this is the same. And it seemed quite ferocious to her. Yeah. Well, then I take back everything I've said. Leboot. But it could have... Leboot. I think, how do you say the beast in French day?

I'm not sure about beast. It's spelled like B, E, T, but there's some weird stuff going on above the... Not weird? Different. Sorry, not weird. Weird. Thank you. It's good to be. accountable. Not weird to them, is it?

No, no, that's a very good point. Not weird, different. We don't have. I didn't mean weird. We don't have the little hieroglyphics on our own. Apart from on the top of metal bands, like motorhead, with the umlaert. Which would make it be pronounced. I'm sure I've talked about this before.

I think mutahead or something. We don't like better. That's a much better time. Yeah. Okay. So Jean-Boulet has died. Things have now kicked off at the time to see. set a scene, France was recovering from a bruising loss in the seven-year war. It's a war I knew

nothing about, I've got to tell you. But according to Britannica, the seven years war, which went from 1756 to 63, was the last major conflict before the French Revolution that involved all the great powers of Europe. Generally, France, Austria, Saxony, Sweden and Russia were aligned on one side against Prussia, Hanover, and Great Britain on the other. In his history of the English-speaking peoples, Winston Churchill labeled the seven years war as the first world war, which is weird because there's already a first world war. Come on, Winston. You were very aware of that one, too.

Come on, man. So, just name it something else. Yeah. Yeah, it's so weird. It's like purposely confusing. I know. Winston. We know before you tweet us.

A struggle for supremacy between the two most powerful countries in the world, France and Britain, the conflict involved Europe, North America, the Caribbean, Africa and India. That does sound pretty worldly. Yeah. Just prior to the time of the beast, the conflict, also known as the French and Indian War, had proved disastrous for France financially and in regards to global influence. Because apparently they went into the war, they were the big power, but they were quite bruised from the war.

Back to Britannica. At the end of the war, the Treaty of Paris was signed. In it, the French lost nearly all their land claims in North America and their trading interest in India. Great Britain gained Canada, all lands east of the Mississippi and Florida. France ceded Louisiana to Spain and evacuated Hanover. Great Britain emerged from the war of world power. Prussia and Russia became major powers in Europe. And in contrast, influence of France, Austria and Spain was greatly reduced.

Wow. So it's a, yeah, big war. A lot of influence. A lot of influence. Yeah, it's like North America. was majorly influenced how it turned out because of this war in Europe. It's like, it's also Crocow, like just all that. Oh, you lost the war, well, you're going to lose parts of countries.

You had no real rights to anyway. So, yeah, at this time, at the time of the beast, Lebutte. So I'm so sorry French people. I know, I know. He's trying. France was really licking its wounds as the beast's reign of terror dooned. Wow.

What is the Javerton? You might be wondering. I am. What's the region of France? Jess. Oh. Okay? Oh yeah, you said that before.

Or at least it used to be. What? Oh my God. It's disappeared. The beast ate it. It is big. That's a big beast. I'm so sorry.

So sorry. So sorry. So sorry. We can blame erosion or something if you want. But no, it's just, it's not known as that anymore. Oh, it's still there. Well, I guess the land is still there, yeah.

But they don't call the Jevoudon. It's changed. It had the reputation for being a remote, isolated backwater where the forces of nature had not been fully tamed. Where the forests were indeed enchanted, says J.M. Smith, a historian and author of monsters of the Jevudon, the making of a beast. It's fascinating. It's powerful.

It's scary. It's sublime, he said. I love it. So some of those words sound nice and others I don't like. Say that again? It's fascinating. Love it. It's powerful.

Ooh. It's scary. No, thanks. It's sublime. Okay. Roller coaster. Yeah, but it just sounds like it's a while. I love this one, this one description of it, according to Schwab and Romero.

At least one travel source is referred to the region as the Scotland of France. That's. If that helps put it in a context. Baffling. The Scottish. Scotland of France. Yeah, the skeleton of France. What are we talking kilts?

What's going on here? Bagpipes. I think it's just rugged. Yeah. Terrain. It's got terrain. Okay. I'm listening.

Schwab and Romero go on. Missing from contemporary maps, and unknown to most 18th century inhabitants of France even, the Jevudon is today associated with the Department or Administrative District of Luzer, created at the time of the French Revolution. It wasn't even on maps Yeah In the 1700s

That's amazing It is No missing Oh yeah Missing from contemporary maps I thought that meant today But no Contemporary of the Time of the Beast

I guess Yeah most people were just like I guess It's just forested area or something Yeah We don't really know it's there It's a big X Yeah

A big question mark A question Well so we talked about it In the That escape from the convict Settlement in Tasmania episode that big chunks of Tasmania were just like, oh, I don't know. Yeah.

We guess there's stuff there. Yeah. I loved that episode because they were like, there's no way anybody could survive on this land and the indigenous people had been living there thriving there for so long. If it was a comedy, they'd zoom out and there'd be a bunch of local indigenous people going, what? Just like looking real comfortable.

Exactly. Cozy, they've sorted everything. There's no way. There's no possible way. A human being could live out there. Here? Come on. Not possible. It's not possible.

They die. After they'd cleared the land. Yeah. Good stuff. Let's go back to Schwalb and Romero. Summers, especially in lower Mediterranean-oriented valleys, or hot, sunny and dry. But the massive central has a sub-alpine climate. Winters are long and harsh with some of the snowiest conditions in the country.

Daytime temperatures average minus six degrees Celsius. about 21 degrees Fahrenheit. At the time of the beast, the world was also in the grip of an exceptionally cold period, a little ice age that began in the 1500s. In addition, the plague struck here in 1720. Well over 2,000 people died in the Jevudon capital of Mende and the nearby town of Maville. Four harvest and subsequent famines affected the area. I think you're just making sounds.

Well, that's what words are, Jess. That is what words are. That is what words are. Don't interrupt me to tell me what words are. I know what words are. I apologize for the interruption. You're right. So there's a lot of, I mean, France in general is having a tough time after the war, but this area...

Really coping it. The plague, famines. Yeah, it's freezing cold. Freezing cold. Poor harvest. Yeah, because it's freezing cold. So just through the 1700s, it was pretty dire times. And then you add in a beast.

A ferocious one. Oh my God. I mean, these people have been to old enough. Yeah. Some say that this is exactly what France needed. Something to galvanise them. Oh. A common enemy.

Oh. But I feel like that's going to be a hard sell to the families of the victims. Yeah. Isn't this just what we needed? This is good for France. Hello. And not long after this, they're like, fuck the beast. Let's just kill the king.

Yeah. That's our common enemy. Let's be honest. Yeah. The real beast. I don't think you need like. Like, well, I guess. Because I'm thinking like famine and plague and it's super cult,

all that sort of stuff kind of would bring you together a little bit anyway. Much like COVID did to us. I was about to say, you don't need something killing you. But COVID was doing that. Yeah. We refer to that as the beast. That's true. That was our beast.

That was our beast of Javerton. Dave, you're going to love this. I only included it for you. Do you know the name Robert Lourdes? Lewis Stevenson. Yes. Yeah. The author of...

Oh, what's that mean? It's from a... Now you're just making sounds. It's from a tripod, so... Okay. That's why. So Robert Lewis Stevenson, I was the author of Treasure Island, kidnapped in the strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyder.

The last one? Last one I've done on bookchute. Treasure, I didn't realize, like, it's usually those classic authors have one big one, but having Treasure Island and Jekyll Hyder's... Yeah. This guy's a giant. And Scottish.

And Scottish, that's right. Oh, the Scotland of France. That's why he was drawn to this area. More than 100 years after the time of the beast, his sojourn through the countryside with a four-footed companion, Modestein, became the basis for his book, Travels with a Donkey in the Severn's, which was published in 1877. I really was hoping you were going to help me out with that one. Well, you went a bit godfather with that one. Seven. When was this the day of your daughter's wedding or something?

This is going to be unlistenable to French people. Oh, 100%. Yeah. I'm so sorry. But this is where... And probably like some Canadians who speak French or just anybody who speaks French, really. It doesn't even have to be from France. That's true.

Crazy, isn't it? Yeah. It's quite a lot of people are going to hate this. Yeah, quite a lot of people. Got a lot of people have turned off already, I'm sure. Some people are loving it. I love it. Because I've got to tell you, this topic won in a landslide on the Patreon vote.

An absolute landslide. It had two-thirds of the vote in a three-horse race. And a lot of the comments were, can't wait to hear Matt butcher some of these French words. Oh, wow. Oh, thank you. So all those people are loving this. You give them what they want.

Well, you know how to pronounce these perfectly, but they requested that you butcher them. Yes. Otherwise, I would be saying them correctly. Absolutely. Otherwise, I would be saying them correctly. So this book, I don't know if you know this quote, apparently it's a famous quote and it comes from his book Travels with a Donkey in the

Sylvia. For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. The great affair is to move. Beautiful. That's moving. Yeah, that's beautiful. Can I have that again? For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. To go. The great affair is to move. I like that. Basically, it's the journey, not the destination. Love it. He would have been great on reality TV. The writer's account speaks of the bleak fields of the Jevoudon and its roaring blackness at night in which the author says, quote,

I was sure of nothing but the direction of the wind. Wow. He had a real way with words. I'm never sure of the direction of the wind. Well, you would have been sure of nothing at all then. That's been true for such a long time. You're left with nothing.

Stevenson, who'd recently finished reading a novel about the beast of the Jevodon, rites of the creature at the time, wolves alas, like bandits, seem to flee the travellers advance, and you may trudge through all of comfortable Europe and not meet with an adventure worth the name. But here, if anywhere, a man was on the frontiers of hope, for this was the land of the ever memorable beast, the Napoleon Bonaparte of wolves. Wow, so he's like, oh, it's so boring everywhere else, but here at least I've got a shot to come face to face with a beast. That's what he wants.

Yeah, that's right. It's like elsewhere, the wolves will just run away, but here, they'll come and kill you. Finally. I think, I think he's not doing so weird. He needs to have a chat with someone. Yeah. I'm going to go somewhere where I'll probably die. Hopefully in a terrible way.

To live. To live, to move. Yeah. To live is to die. Not to be anywhere, but just to be. Inside a wolf That's where I want to be I want to get in there

Oh he wants to find a wolf I want to Oh Frontways though Once you go in the mouth I guess you can fuck a wolf in the mouth Oh dear Why'd you take it to that place Jess

I didn't Isn't that a saying Never fuck a wolf in the mouth I think so yeah Like the last bit's implied No one ever says it But what was the original ending of that Oh your dick will get torn off

Yeah yeah But that's implied. That's implied. It's like a when in rhyme. Very uncouth to say it. Stevenson traveled to the Jevudon in September of 1878, a little over 112 years earlier. In August of 1764, the beast's second official victim would die.

I'm about to tell you about a bunch more deaths. But like I say, I'm not going to get in a heap to detail. The country folk continued with the farming and trade activities vital to their existence. Most largely unaware of the beast. owing to the region's sparse population, residing in individual isolated communities. During the first week of August 1764, a little more than six miles from the side of Jean's death, that's Boulé, the first girl who died, but in the Géveden proper, a girl named Marianne Hebride from a tiny community called Celia went missing, but not as Jean had at the close of day.

Marianne instead vanished in broad daylight. The beast was quickly becoming confident. I hate that. Confident. Yeah, we. My goodness. Like Jean, however, Marion, was found throttled and half eaten. Searchers were said to have turned up scattered remains and remnants of cloth.

Official chronicles state that she was set upon by a roving beast that had recently encroached upon the area. 48 hours later, in another rural village named Mesmilla, the best. Lease came out of nowhere to stalk surprise and savage another girl. Her name, unknown to historians, but she was only 15 years old. Far out. So I think in part, the teenage girls were the early targets because they seem to be the ones who were looking after the sheep and the cows. Right.

They were the herders and the shepherds. Out in the fields. But as we go along, you'll notice that women do seem to be the main targets for some reason. Great. So it's a misogynist as well. It's a msogyness wolf. It's a sodge of wolf. And a lot of boys as well.

So it's a lot of like young people, teenagers, children and women. There are adult men as well. But in the, they'd be in the minority for some reason. And it's not really no one. How does it feel? They're like, fucking great. I've got nothing to worry about out there. Of course there is only the minority when it means they're not dying, horrible deaths.

I think you'll find that women have a longer expected life expectancy, expectant. So what does that tell you? So obviously the wolves have come for a sense. That's what I can deduce. Things have changed. On August the 30th, two months after, Jean Boulet's demise, a boy near Le Pardel in France, would you believe, was looking after his family's cattle when he was also killed by the beast.

Wow. Attached by wild animals weren't unheard of, but never with this kind of regularity. Yeah. And normally the farm animals would be targeted as well, and authorities quickly grew concerned. A man named Etienne Lefant was the local subdelegate of King Louis XVI, who was the reigning monarch of the time. And according to Schwalb and Romero, the 45-year-old Lefant was disturbed by the reports he'd been receiving of an animal which had attacked and killed several children in the area.

The accounts did not ring true. It sounded as if the animal was something other than a nuisance wolf or a pack of wolves like they were sort of used to. He knew of other instances where wolves had attacked people, but generally it was because they were rabid or famished from lack of prey during the region's harsh winters. But obviously, when you're coming and attacking a kid and there's a flock of sheep, it's not because they're famished. Yep, I am famished. Oh, lamb, I've had enough of that.

I don't really like it. Do you have any mint jelly that I don't want the lamb? And then, so I'm like, oh, so maybe this is a rabid wolf, wolf with rabies. So I looked that up. How long would a wolf with rabies live? And it sounds like an infected animal usually dies within seven days of becoming sick. Right. And already these attacks have happened over a month.

So that's unlikely. It's not a normal, it's not normal wolf behavior. So this is, it's like a wolf, but not a wolf. but not a wolf. And another thing to keep in mind is these were pretty isolated villages, and it is the 1700s. They don't have books showing great pictures of all the possible wild animals out there. So if it is something that they're not used to in their area, it would look, you know,

potentially very exotic and scary. It's probably a tiger. Or maybe it's just like a big dog. A pug. Yeah. What the fuck is that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never seen, you've never seen them.

What the heck? A pug with a thirst for blood. It's a ravenous pug. Oh, no. Oh, no, it's starting with my toes. I can't get away. Oh, the tickles. Oh, stop it, puggy.

I'm going to call you puggy. That's how they got their names. Before that, they were called. Burr, beast. Yeah, I started with a roer and I didn't know where to go. And you'd said beast, which was what I should have started by saying. Sorry, Jess. Originally, of course, pugs were known as,

because of the noise they make. I don't know, I guess we're calling what noise they make. I think that's what they want to be called. It's like a little snorty breathing. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, pleasure to meet you. Yeah, it's more like. Yeah.

Back then, they were probably, they hadn't been bred to the point where they're suffering permanently. But geez, they're cute. So cute. So cute. But if you'd never seen one before, And if you're in the French countryside, you'd probably be like, what the hell is that? Exactly. So you get where they're at.

It could be a pug. I like that you're already suggesting things. Okay. Please. Do you want to keep doing that? If you've got any thoughts, feel free to throw them out. Panther. Fantastic suggestion.

So talking about wolves as well and being dangerous, you know, the idea of wolves, they're vicious animals, right? And I looked into that a bit as well. according to the Colorado State University, the perception of wolves as a danger to people has a long history in human society. But in reality, the risk of wolves attacking or killing people is low. Wolves typically avoid people, buildings and roads and encounters are rare. For example, a study published in 2002 reviewed wolf human interactions in Alaska and Canada, where over 60,000 wolves live. And between 1900 and 2000, 100 year period, the study found only 16 cases where wild. healthy wolves bit people.

In six cases, bites were severe, no bites were life-threatening. Wow. Isn't that interesting? In a hundred years? Yeah. There was 16 bites. Yeah, from healthy wolves. There were others with rabies-infected wolves.

No, I mean, thousands of others were murdered, savagely. But the healthy ones. No, yeah, but I don't even think it was thousands of rabies infected dogs. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so that was surprising. They avoid people and anywhere that people would be. Yeah, that's right. Interesting.

They basically fear people, you know. Good. I think a few more things. Good, if any wolves are listening, we certainly don't fear you. A few more things should bloody fear us, mate. Let me tell you. Okay. It does seem like I've read suggestions that back in the 1700s in France,

maybe that was a bit different, they weren't as afraid. But, yeah, it seems like generally speaking, they're not going on. around taking out humans. I'm not super comfy with a big dog, to be honest. If I saw a wolf, I'd be like, oh, I'm going to back right up. Wow, that's exactly what a wolf would do. Hang on a second. Whoa.

Oh, my goodness. Jess. What? Have you just spilled the beans here? That I'm a wolf. Are you a wolf? Because if I saw a wolf, I would be a bit nervous. Oh, my God.

And you think that wolf's a human? I'm on to you, mate. He has not had much sleep. I've got you gone, mate. You're gone. You're done, mate. I got you. One of LaFont's early reports suggests the beast hardly resembled a wolf at all.

Like a wolf, but not like a wolf at all. In any way. It walked on its hind legs and had pale pink skin and wore clothing like a man. and also spoke French. And carried a shotgun. And some knives. Oh, that wolf. Does it walk on its hind legs?

Some people have said that it did. People saw figures walk on their hind legs in the bushes. People. Wolfman type creatures. Is it possible that these peasants only knew of two animals? It was either a sheep or a wolf and they went, I guess it was kind of closer to a wolf. Not really.

Not a sheep. It wasn't going, bleh, so it's not a she. So I guess it has to fall into a wolf category. Yeah, the other category is a wolf. Even though it had wings, breathed fire. There's a wolf. This is how Lafant described it in an early report. It is much bigger than a wolf.

It has a snout somewhat like a calf and very long hair, which would seem to indicate a hyena. Okay. This became a bit of a theory that maybe on one of a, of the rich estates where they had some exotic animals, one of them got out, and it was the one menacing the countryside. Something like a hyena. And obviously, the local villages don't know. What a jackal looks like. I don't know what a jackal is. Well, you're a French villager. Wait, no, you're a wolf. Geez, I'm throwing a lot of accusations at you. Oh, you're a French

villager. And you're a wolf. I'm losing it. Hyenas aren't very big, though, are they? And they're usually like, don't they, like, come along and, like, eat carcasses later, yeah, scavenger. Yeah, that's right. So every theory seems to have, it's like, oh, these three things line up that it's a hyena. But they don't behave like this. So that probably rules out a hyena. And jackals are little. I've just googled them.

Do they have big ears? Yeah, big pointy ears. Almost like, they're sort of foxy. Was it a Bruce Willis film, The Jackal? That was. I remember watching that. A film from 1997. You can remember that one scene where he makes a guy hold up a pack of cigarettes to test a gun?

Yes. That's the scene I remember as well. Same. And then the sights off a bit where he blows the guy's arm off. Yeah. Whoops. He was a bad guy, that jackal. Honestly.

But the way Bruce played him, still couldn't help but root for him. That's it, Bruce. Good on your, Bruce. Blow that arm off. All right. So the hunt begins. Lafant starts going out We need to do something about this beast

Due to an unusual agreement From four and a half centuries earlier Love these things that are just like There's a piece of paper somewhere saying this So that's what it is And this thing from 450 years earlier Had the Bishop of Mende Was the who was also the count of the gendarme

Co-ruled the diocese with the king of France It was this weird thing where In that area, the bishop was equal to the king. Right. So it's just this weird thing that was written on a piece of paper somewhere from 450 years ago, that's just how it was. Wow. So Lafant went to the bishop and told him of the beast,

but the bishop was not concerned. Oh my God, the bishop is the beast. Wow. Oh, my God. Remind me of that later. I hadn't put that together, but we might have a great theory going here. Wow, that's good stuff. stuff. Holy shit.

Hold on, Jess. The wolf would say that. You're trying to pass the blame to anyone you can? Oh, the bishop sounds like he could be the wolf. Certainly not me. Jess Perkins. Sorry, that's on me in my throat. Bush.

So he told the bishop, the bishop's like, no, I'm not concerned. And he said it was actually a good thing that this beast was in the neighborhood. Okay. It's just a message from God, reminding the people to keep heeding the ten. commandments. That's why the beast is going around. Killing kids. What a wild way to interpret that. God, he communicates

in mysterious ways. When he sends a ravenous beast killing kids, we go, you're going to heed those 10 commandments. This is clearly a reminder to double your donation to me and the church. Yeah. And it's a great lesson to remember. Thou shall not kill.

Yes. Where he's showing you what not to do. Treat the beast as you'd like to be treated. That's right. Okay, just leave it alone and let it kill you. Wouldn't you like that? Yeah. The Golden Rule.

So this wasn't a responsible for it was looking for. He was wary of causing panic in the public, though, by publicizing the beast because a lot of people didn't know about it still because of the way the communities were set up. But in the end, he decided that spreading the word was important because it means that they could, you know, maybe be a bit more careful when they were out in a paddock alone. Stop sending 11-year-old kids out to the paddock. Yes. He also did, that was one of the reasons he didn't really want to do that because, you know, the whole area's economy was based on farming and produce and stuff. So yeah, it was a delicate balance. Should we just leave these kids out there to anyway? And more than that, he decided the beast must be destroyed. This is the main thing. We destroy the beast and the beast and the beast is no longer a problem in a lot of ways. Okay. This is beauty and the beast. They want to go out and kill the beast. But the beast, what's he doing wrong?

Is that set in France? Yes. Did he murder multiple children? I don't think so. Okay, then he's fine. He's just living in a castle. They did not see a fighter though, didn't they? Yeah.

So he started going about getting this beast destroyed, and he did that by writing some letters. He wrote to a local nobleman, Count Jean-François Charles de la Moulogne, and he then visited the Count's estate. And the two-mates-court? Which count? Yeah.

Count Jean-François-Col-de-le-le-le-le-le-le-le-le. How do you say Charles in French? Charle. Do you say that? Maybe. I don't say Charles de Gaulle. Yeah. That's more what you said the first time.

Okay. A second time, it was just, wow. Yeah, if you make me repeat any of this, it will vary greatly. I know, that's the fun for us. Oh. Now you get it. I'm just a dancing monkey. You big, dumb idiot.

He visited the count at his estate, and the two made plans to enlist local peasants and other noblemen to begin the hunt immediately. In the meantime, the killings continued. Around 7pm on the 6th of September, a 36-year-old woman known as the local witch. 36-year-woman, known as the local witch? We all know it. He just said known as a local witch quite defensively, didn't he?

She was in her garden harvesting rosemary, possibly to brew a tonic for a neighbour. Or just to roast some spuds. That's true. Delicious. We're speculating here, but that would be fantastic. A bit of garlic and rosemary. Oh, my God.

There's nothing better, mate. is watering. Yeah. Crack some seasol at the top. Oh, okay. Unfortunately, she's out there amongst the Rosemary when she is attacked and killed by the beast. What?

Unlike the other attacks which occurred in remote fields, this one happened meters from her front door. Even at home, you were no longer safe from Lebed. You would think that if anyone's going to be safe, it would be the local witch. Yeah. Right? Hex him, you idiot.

Come on, defend him. Stab him in the arces and Rosemary sprigs. It sounds like they said the local witch But it sounds like more like the local pharmacists Probably At a local church A 12 year old boy named Claude Marines Was attending with his family

They're the priests brought up the beast Just saying hey everyone so you know And this is how the word started spreading Priests in the various diocese And I just casually brought up And they say Hey by the way there's a bit of a beast going on a rampage Keep your eyes peeled for that

He also mentioned In like the community notices Yeah. Also, Fred's got a car for sale, 160,000 clicks on the dash. But apparently it's in good nick. Yeah. Also, a beast has been savaging some children. There's going to be a bake sale on Sunday.

Sorry, what? Gold cone donations to go towards repairing the roof in the... I said, bake sale. But the money from the bake sale, honestly, George, is going towards fixing the roof of the church. No, sorry, before the bake sale. No, Fred's car. It's car, 160 clicks, but you know how he is with his car? It's been meticulously looked after.

Sorry, a little bit further along. Excuse me, I'm still talking. He's saying 10K O&O. Did you say there's a beast? Yes, the car is a beast. Absolutely. It's got a V8 donk under the hood. Donk!

Donk! So, yeah, the priest mentioned the beast, also mentioned that Lafant and the count were organizing hunts, and that the church's parishioners would be expected to be involved. The men in attendance apparently weren't happy. They're like, oh, great, we got work to do. We can't go around killing some beast. But then the priest said, but there is a handsome reward.

And they said, okay, we're listening. And then more and more men joined the hunt, but with little success. Then on September the 16th, Claude, who was with his family in the church, took his family's cattle out to graze. and according to Schwalb and Romero, Claude was said to be small for his age, but he was a scrapper. Ask me a bit of you, Dave.

Yeah, I'm a scrapper. I'm small for my age. But I'm going to get bigger. Unfortunately, no, although that was not the case for Claude. He was no match for the beast. He never returned home that evening, and his body was later found. He was yet another in a long line of victims

of the beast of the Jevoudon. Damn, I thought he was going to, you know, You know, fight him off if he's the scrapper, but sadly not. Yeah. Was Claude an adult? I missed that part. No, is it another team. God damn it.

They keep sending out, they're hearing, now they're hearing about it. There's a beast. It's probably back in the day, too, where they have way too many kids. So they're probably like, off you go, Claude. Oh, yeah, off you go, number three. He's got the least potential, and they're like, well, if we're going to risk anybody. Yeah, we'll send out number 17. Yeah.

He's small for his age. I can't remember his name. Cordon of Schwab and Romero, the priest recorded Claude's death and saw to the burial of his remains. The authorities pronounce this death, like the beast's other fatalities, as, quote, non-natural. Oh, wow. Which I think means not natural. Or maybe not unusual. Tom Jones. Sorry. This was unusual. Yeah. It's not natural to be loved by anyone. Tom, it is. It's not natural. Tom. Tom, love is natural. Tom. Tom. He's like, love is yuck. Oh, it's just because you haven't done it.

Come on, Tom. Yeah, Tom Jones hasn't done it. I'm talking about being in love. I'm being loved. I know. He's fucked. Yeah, yeah. We've never been loved.

He's never loved. He's fucked, but he's never made love. That's right. And there is a difference. There is a big difference I've been told. Which one have you done? I've done a third new one. The man.

The man. Want to come home and Matt? I want to mat you so hard. I was matting all that long. Sorry, I'm late, guys. I was matting all that long. So silly. So you might be thinking, this beast is never going to get done.

Get done. It's never going to get done. This is an unstoppable beast. For sure. It's probably still out there. Never going to get done. Well, later that very week, on September the 20th, local villages had taken down a large wolf they believed to have been the beast.

Whoa. They were paid a reward of 18 liverays, which is probably not how it's pronounced, but I'm going to stop saying that because it goes without saying that the things I'm saying is not how they're pronounced. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're trying. And these livreys were the French currency of the time. And this was three times the amount of a normal wolf killing reward. So there was a standard wolf killing reward, I guess, of six liverings.

Livray's. So this is a triple reward. Okay. Each livery apparently contained about four and a half grams of silver. This is back when money actually meant something. Now it's just blip, blop, blop, ble. Oh, some little numbers in your little magical wallet. Yeah, come on. Oh, some ones and zeros, is it?

Blip blop blip. Okay. Back when in the day of the liverer, it was actual silver, okay? Get your head around it. Royal Bank of Australia or whatever you're called? Yeah. Is that what the R is? Uh-huh.

Yeah. Is it? Philip Lowe. Philip Lowe, you dog. You fucking dog. You dog. Nah, got on you? Nah, fuck.

Nah. Whatever, all right. A bit of local content there. French people enjoy that, I'm sure. And I'm sure we've got a big spike in French listeners. Because this is a story they, I'm sure, have not heard enough about it. So they got a big wolf. Got a big wolf.

They think it's the beast. Okay, so we're done. Great. Great. Eight. Eight in lives. Great. And this is.

Basically, they just had to wait and see. The only way you know that it was the beast is a attack stop. That's right. Why not just check that wolf's belly for bones? Oh, that's what they should have done. Yeah. There's no record of that. But yeah, surely that's what you've done.

So it's like little John's in there. Yeah. Going, help me! Yeah, oh, there you go. Got him. Did you go on the front or back door, little John? That's weird. So they're waiting.

A week goes by, no more killings. Eight days go by. there's no more killings. Great. Nine days go by, there's another killing. Oh. So they caught an innocent wolf. Yes.

Wow. Yeah. Wolf who's just trying to avoid them. Yeah, all of a sudden, the beast is like, huh, okay. Well, if it's okay for you to do, then it's okay for me to do. And they're like, you've already been doing it.

He's like, well, no, you've given me the okay. So I'm going to start killing. You've already been killing. Yeah, if you count from now, yeah. Yeah, I'll start killing. You've been doing it. Yeah, thanks, man. I appreciate the support.

Up to kill now for the first time. At about 4.30pm on the 29th of September 1764, Madeline Moray was checking in on her family's cattle in the pasture when she was set upon and killed by the beast. I have a theory, and that is this is a copycat wolf. Okay. First wolf's been taken out, first beast, another wolf is stepping up. Right.

That's my theory. Filling the shoes. Yeah. Maybe it's a literal copycat, like a cougar or whatever you said before, A little panther. Yeah. Yeah, man, it turned that this is just a small house cat. It's a cat with a thirst for blood.

A little tabby. Good be. A little tabby. When Madeline died, obviously Lafant and everyone in the know was like, ah, crap. And do they have to pay the money back? No, they still. Oh, cool. What are you going to do?

We've already spent it, mate. Yeah. It's been eight days. Yeah, come and get it. Come and get it. From my time. It's gone. I went to the pub.

Sorry, Le Pube. It's gone. According to Schwalb and Romero, it was becoming colder in the Jevudan. In October, there were about a dozen attacks and five deaths. Wow. And one month? Yeah, more than one per week. A dozen attacks on five deaths.

So some people are being attacked and not dying. Quite, yeah, quite a lot. Wow. It's probably about one in three get killed. Shit. And the other survive. But do the wolf go back to finish him off? No.

Like knock on their front door? Oh, yeah. I didn't get you. Yeah. But I'm back. I always finish her job. He's the finisher. Played by Jason Stapel.

Jason Stapel. Jason Stapin is the beast of the Jevoudon. I know I will not be doing a French accent. That's it. I'm getting the text. He's like, he gobbles it up. You've just been wolfed down. So stuff like that.

Yeah. That's great. Very cool stuff. And then he dives off a diving board or something. Yeah, okay. There's some diving. Hi, you watch all to say them, DJ? Oh, wait, that's just...

Isn't that one of his clichés, the, uh, the Kilden Dive? Yeah, he does... He stubs on in the throat and does a perfect pin drop. Well, he was a diver, so... Oh, my God. Yeah. No wonder he works in in all these films. Was he really?

Yeah. The Com Games! He's a Com Gamer. He's a Comgamer. You can watch him on YouTube. Is there anything this man can't do? Oh, French accent. French accent.

No, he can. He won't. He refuses. I'm actually very good at it. No, I can't do it. What makes you think I'd risk my life for you? I can actually do a very good French accent. Thank you very much.

I'm the Meglidon. Or as you say, la Meglodon. I'm the Meglidon. So, yeah, so winter's hitting, or, you know, at least autumn into winter. There's more deaths. Octob has five deaths, more than one a week. And this month would also witness a new and more macabre development. Oh my God.

This bit's a little full on if you're squamish, but again, I won't go into too much details. The body of a young woman, whose 20 was discovered, but not until the following day was her head found. Schwab and Romero ask, could an animal cause a human decapitation? And then they answer their question. Yes. It's a good question to pose then. Okay, great. Was that one author asking the other?

Yeah, that might have been it. Yeah, Schwab, yes. Yes. Okay? Dumb question. Don't write that. Don't write this down as well. Why are you still typing?

We work great together, Romero. This is all good stuff. I love you. I'm the Romero of the podcast. She's an idiot, but we love it. I'm the Schwab. Schwab! They go on to say yes, it could.

Experts tell us that large predators' teeth could get the job done. Oh, wow. The viciousness of the attacks combined with the predators' hurried transport of the rains to a secluded location in which to consume their prey in peace might result in the dislodging of the head from the torso. Oh, that's awful. Here's a more, I knew that that was a pretty grim and grisly fact of, of the story.

Yeah, we quite quickly derailed it to something silly of the writers, though. But I'm following it up with probably my favourite thing that I read through the whole story. Apparently, on multiple occasions, when the beast attacked a herder or shepherd, or herder mainly, the cattle, because the sheep were useless, but that the cattle stepped up and defended their young human carers. Whoa! Isn't that sick? It's so good. So around this time it happened, but it happened multiple times.

The beast was coming in for a herder, but then the bovines came to its defense. They would bellow, shake their heads at the attacker, sort of charge it shaking their heads looking big. Wow. They'd kick and generally use their big bodies as a shield. Sometimes they would circle the herder to create a barrier between them and the beast. And yeah, so and quite a few times actually saved their lives. Wow. You stupid cow.

They're hurting you to kill you. Now you're protecting them. Yeah, but they bring food. So, I love this kid. Yeah, they take us to a nice little cream. They don't know about the betrayal yet. Yeah, yeah. That's so nice.

If a cow saves your life, you can't eat it. I agree. I think that's a great rule. I think I've just converted some people to at least cow vegetarians. I eat a little bit of chicken now. And, like, what's a chicken ever done for me, you know? Maddie he's circled by chickens. That would be a nuisance, if anything.

Fuck off. The wolf's like, oh my God, this half dozen chickens are coming for me. Again, I wish we were filming this. He's fully chickening. He's fully inhabiting the role of chicken. There's wings, there's facial expressions. Very expressive eyes, chickens. That was a chicken saying, what?

You want to go? You want to go? You want to go? Come at me. You're going to try and take my chicken boy? You got shepherd, you got herders? What's a... Yeah, chicken boy.

Chicken boy. Or could you call him a chicken tender? Are you the pun master or are you the pun master? That's a fun. That's a fun. Isn't it? It feels like. It's like a shame that puns like that, very clever, but for some reason they're awful.

They're so bad. You go, ah. Isn't that strange? It's like, all right, you think of a better one. Yeah, I don't know what that is. Is that something we're conditioned to or a pun's just shit? Yeah, it's strange because you're like that's pretty clever. That's pretty clever.

But also, fuck you. Fuck you, you, smug prick. Stuff like that. Yeah, maybe that's it. Maybe it's just in the delivery of puns because quite often puns is something like a A hair. Yeah. Or could you call them a chicken tender?

Yeah. Yeah. It's like you're saying, get it? Yeah, exactly. Maybe it's the delivery. You know dry comedy? It's wet comedy. It's sopping wet.

Yes. But if I just gone, oh, chicken tender, we probably just would have moved on and gone. But you've really got to emphasize what you mean. But then we would have got tweets like Dave. They didn't acknowledge that incredible joke. Going back and editing some episodes, I realize all the jokes, went up because I'm doing the reports that I'm. I'm editing, which I don't really do anymore because we've got a great editor named AJ.

I don't know if we should have publicly out. But you still listen back to the episode. Yes. And I hear myself just missing great jokes you do. Yeah. And I'm talking about great jokes. Things like chicken ten. Yeah.

If Dave wasn't such a fucking sopping wet. Boy over there dripping with punny juices. What are we talking about? Yeah, so I just love that idea about the cows. Yeah, the cows are stepping up, I love it. I have cried at a video of a dog protecting its child owner. Oh, that's enough, like a lot of dogs also put themselves right in harm's way throughout this whole ordeal.

Wow. A bunch of them will go and they'll take much smaller dogs comparatively. Small than a pug. Some even smaller than a pug. Took it on, like, fully protecting the family. You're like, ah, you've got to love that. That's so nice. What was the dog protecting the baby?

baby from? Another dog. Like a little kid and its dog were like playing in the front yard and like the mum was nearby and another dog came running from across the street and the pet dog like immediately put himself in between the other dog and the kid and like chased him off and kept sort of putting himself in front of the kid. It was really sweet. That's great. Mom got in there very quickly and picked the kid up and somebody else got the other dog. It was you know it was everybody was doing the right thing, but it was just really nice to see this dog like, no fucking what. The dog just changed from like bouncing around having a lovely time to then like, I'll fuck you if I have to, I'll fucking kill you. There is a story that I don't go into too much details of later that is so

similar to that. A mum with her two kids and their dog and the dog goes it and the mum's there and she becomes like a bit of a national hero. Wow. My dog would be like, see ya. Good luck. Hey, Root. Going back to my bed. I'm going back to dad. He's my favourite. Fucking idiot. Your limp body would be there and it would have piss on you.

I love him. That's how he shows affection. I assume. It takes a piss. Others would say it as contempt. But I'm pretty sure it's affection. So as it turns out, you know, we're talking about how they're recruiting a lot of peasants. So there's big hunts going on, a couple of nobles.

And then all the manpower is the peasant class. And they were probably lucky to have the cows because they were at a distinct disadvantage compared to the nobility. Korneshwolden Romero, in consequence of laws put in place centuries earlier, nobles alone could possess and use firearms. Oh my God. So they were out on these hunts basically with sharpened sticks. Boxing gloves.

Yeah. Come on. Put them up. Come on. Somebody's just going to yell some firm words at that feast. These were their weapons. Add words. Use your words.

That's where the saying use your words come from. You come at me also. I will so. I'm very litigious. Litigious. So, yeah, so that is sharpen sticks. You would think in this sort of setting, maybe give them some guns. And our man Lafant, who seems like the, I mean, he comes across as the sort of the level-headed one in all of this.

Just wants to, you know, sort of sort of this out. up people dying. There's other people with big egos around and the peasants who are just trying to survive, but he's in the middle sort of seemingly. So he had to fight for amazingly, but eventually won the temporary legislation or legalization, sorry, for anyone to be able to bear arms in his local area for the purpose of hunting the beast. What a funny, like, having to fight for that is a funny idea. Yeah.

It feels like a bit of a no-brainer. It does feel a little bit common sense. but common sense and not like common you have any other French there nah it's just something boomers say okay not like it was back in our day yeah when everybody had common sense

and nobody at a PlayStation what sense was honestly it was very everyone had it we played outside those kids are playing outside those kids are loud out there the nostalgic stories of and that's people like of my age

like of all ages, but you'll hear those nostalgic stories and then they'll follow it up with a story from back in the day about some asshole. Yeah. You're like, everyone back in my dad, respect.

And then five minutes later they'll be off on a tangy gown. Anyway, Janine, she was such a rude asshole. And I hate her. And that's why I burnt down her trampoline. And people don't do that these days. They don't stand up for themselves.

Hang on. We've gone in such a lot of. a weird circle here. So he was able to get guns in peasant's hands. Good idea. But on top of that, he was also able to have the reward increase significantly to 200 liverers. Wow. Remember 18 was seen as pretty good.

200 was equal to a year's salary for a day laborer. Wow. So this was, it'd become a big, big reward. But amongst all this, the attacks continued. According to Schwalb and Romero, on October the 8th, a 12-year-old boy named Jean Ritor was savage but survived. He lived on to the age of 76, becoming a priest, but his scars told the story of his harrowing encounter with the beast. So he had scars for the rest of his life. And this was a common story. Those who survived, the attacks lived on, but with physical and

mental scars to the rest of their days. There's one woman who is attacked, I think a year or so from now, and she becomes known as the French term for Scarface. It becomes a woman. It becomes her name. That's nice, isn't it? It seems like there's so many people around. There's like literally hundreds of people who survive these attacks. But she's the one who got the name. She must be stoked with that. Yeah, that'd be so cool.

Because usually I hear these stories of these beasts and I think, yeah, whatever. Someone saw it out in the desert somewhere. Okay. But there's hundreds of people have seen it, right? That's right. This is... 100 people have been attacks. So if there's something...

There's something out there. It's like a bit... It's big in the crypto zoology world, but it existed as something. It's got to be something. But, you know, like, while Mulder's saying, this is a werewolf, or this is like a devil beast, Scully's going, there's got to be some, Kermit, Kermit Scali's going, there's got to be some sort of the explanation for this, Molder. And I wonder if it is just one.

Mm-hmm, that's, yeah, that's, see, that's what the Scallies are saying. This just sounds like it's multiple wolves. Yeah, it's a pack of wolves or something. Yeah, exactly. Who were behaving quite odd. Because honestly, they'd be full. Yeah. And, you know, you come back having just been attacked by a wolf,

you're probably, to you, it's going to seem more full on than a normal wolf, probably. You're not used to seeing them right up, you know, literally. And wolves are bigger than you think. I think. Bigger than we think, but not than you think? I don't know. That's a real, what do you call those things that contradict themselves? It's a real paradox what you've just done there.

A wolf is bigger than, I think. I think. Wait, hang on. How big are wolves? But I think they're, so that means I think they're bigger than, I think they are, which means they're bigger than that. They measure up to six feet in length. Six feet in length.

Including tail and about 30 inches in height at the shoulders. Yeah, that's big. So they're saying it's big, four. Or a wolf. What KG is we saying? Well, that's got it in pounds. But they're also describing it differently. Colourations.

First type is different. Some people saying, face like a calf. Everything different. The big, grey wolves are 70 to 115 pounds. Oh, that's not that big, is it? You get dogs that. Hang on. 70 pounds is 31 kilos.

Yeah, yeah. That's pretty big. Up to 52. It's about as big as you, Dave. It's a big dog. That's your comedy way. That's big for me. Yeah.

But not. big for a dog. Okay. You know, like big, big dogs. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, big big dogs. Like, you know,

like I can get Labradors that are 35 kilos. Yeah, true. But anyway, this is a normal wolf. That's not the size of this beast. So, yeah, but I'm just thinking,

but remember your theory was that maybe they think it looks bigger than it is because it's up close. Yeah, yeah. And I thought, and I was thinking, maybe it is,

because I was thinking, if wolves are bigger than I think, according to Jess, she thinks, that maybe they're like 100 kilos. But yeah, six feet long is longer than I was expecting.

That's long. So they must be pretty slim. Including tail, unless the tail is five foot long. Yeah, yeah. They're all tail. They're actually part of the snake family. They're all tail. I mean, they are small than a Great Dane, so who cares.

But you see Great Dains walking around the park, you're like, that's a fucking horse. I wouldn't want to fight a Great Dane. No, but they're quite lazy, apparently. Thank God. They've got apartment dogs. Isn't that crazy? Really? Yeah, they're lazy.

They sleep a lot. I guess they'd work as a coffee table. Yes. Or a poof, put your feet up on them. What were we talking about? I don't know. Sorry. I went off on a tangent because I...

Never apologise. I was like, they're bigger than I think. Well, we were talking about the reward. Yeah, the reward. Because now they're all going out because it's worth like a year's wages. And now the peasants have the gun. So game on, Wolfie. And yes, we had the boy Jean Rittou,

who survived. Became a priest. And then Scarface. Scarface, yes. Only a few hours later after the priest, the priest boy was attacked. The beast was seen on the grounds of the Chateau de Le Beaum,

which is the big castle in the area, which had the nickname of Le Petit Vessé de Gévedon. The small Versailles? Yeah. Is that pretty fun? Yeah. It was just, it was a big car.

castle in the area. Well, it's a small Versailles, which is a very big castle. Which is actually bigger than you think, Versailles. The beast had its eye on another young herdsman in the grounds of Le Petit Vesé des Gévedon. But hunters got after it, and it fled into the estate's woods. Peasants were given the job of being beaters. All right, peasants, come around. We've got a job for you.

Peasants, come around. You're allowed to have guns now. We don't have any give you. We're going to a better job. You're going to be the beaters. Oh, what do we do? Well, what you do is you go into the bush where the wolf is, unarmed, and make a big racket, really make yourself known.

We'll give you a full drum kit. Well, yeah, basically we'll give you some sticks. We'll give you, just make a real racket. One of those one-man bands with the symbols and the drum. Symbols between the knees. Yeah. Basically, you just go in there, make a lot of noise, and you rustle out and then we'll, you know, we'll take the shot and the reward. Even though you've taken the risk of going right up to it.

So this was the plan. They knew the beast was in these woods. We'll send in the peasants. Send in the peasants. Amazingly, oh, or not, this worked. The wolf was sort of scared out by the noise out in the open. But how's poor people? Yeah.

They're close. Very classic. Le Pong. It was just hanging out in the small chateau. And now it's got these poor people's Le Pongy. He's like, oh, these woods, they've gone to the dogs. Back to Schwalb and Romero. The beast was spotted and had at last become prey itself.

And so its hunters took aim, fired, and hit their target. But to their astonishment, the animal fell only to rise and run on. Another shot and again success. The creature dropped. But through the thick white smoke of gunpowder, they witnessed the same phenomenon. The beast scrambled to its feet and took off once again. No.

Around this time, it started to get the reputation of being bulletproof. Whoa, that's not what you want. No. No, no, that is inconvenient. Yeah. Especially when guns is your best form of attack against it. Yeah, well, actually got, Bazookas.

They have bazookas yet? I don't know if bazookas. There are only a couple of things? he was away from bazookas. Unfortunately, it was believed the beast was bazooker-proof. Typical. Oh, my God.

Blowing it up only makes it stronger. It absorbs the power. It becomes a bazook. The hunters pursued it until nightfall, anxious to finish off the wounded animal, and resume the next morning pre-dawn. 200 men scoured the woods of Chateau de la Belle-Bum, hoping to find the deceased beast.

But it was not to be. It had vanished. Not to beast, to beast, to beast or not to beast. It had vanished. It vanished. It vanished. It's gone, even though it had been shot twice. So clearly they're like, it's wounded.

It's probably gone somewhere quiet to just die and we'll find the carcass. But it was gone. Oh my God. Do they check the local hospital? They should have done a ring around. Is anyone coming to two bullet, long wounds? Also, they're a wolf. Could I lead with that.

With like a calf face. You'll know it if you say it You'll know what I'm talking about If you don't know You haven't seen Yeah Thanks anyway Better keep moving

Uh Yell if you see anything All right All right Give the yep All right Hours later So they've sort of given up

It's vanished Hours later The creature Was observed Travelling with a limp Sorry It's like travelling on a train Or something

Traveling via plane In first class As far away from the peasant as possible It's a real classist And socialistic This is a picture It's sitting back Rina paper

Legs crossed And then when someone goes Excuse me Are you the beast Ugh Get this all the time Sorry No autographs

I'm with my family I'm nursing an injury I'd really just like some rest So I was spotted with a limp Spotted with a limp and soon after attacked another herd boy. My God, you're right. You think if it is the same beast, which it sounds like it is, surely it's full after eating a boy.

Yeah. For like a couple of days. For a couple of days. A couple of days. But this thing, it eats a boy a day. And it also seems like crazy. The metabolism is extraordinary. That's what people are starting to go.

It doesn't seem to be motivated by hunger. It just seems to want to kill humans. It's just blood thirst. Yeah. That's what it seems like. Wow. On October the 10th, the youth was injured by the beast. A youth.

At dusk on the same day, the beast ambushed three siblings, a boy of 12, a boy of six, and a girl of about 10 years of age. It seized the terrified girl and started to make off with her when she was torn from its jaws by her brothers who pricked the beast with their sticks with knives attached to the top. Oh, my gosh. So they poked it with these knife sticks and saved their sister's life. Like they've got their own... And again, it's gone for the girl. Not the little boy. Yeah, isn't that interesting?

Unfucking believable. Yeah, what is the deal beast? Oh, and then the brothers had to save their sister. Damsal and distress, bullshit. Who's writing this? She can save herself, boys. This is hack. If my brother was trying to save me, I'd say, leave it.

I can do it myself. And you're wriggling out of the jaws. I'm stabbing from inside. Now, let me go. Now, stop it. Stop it. Down. Down a beast.

So, yeah, when I said the funny thing, the weird thing over the letter, and you said, not weird, different, you're right, but it's that one, it's Lebet, but it's the E, so B, E, T, E, but the first E has like a roof on it, you know, like a triangle without the bottom. Yeah. An upside, an E. Yeah. It's a much more efficient way of saying it. No, but you were acting it out, which is fun. You were the E. It was very cute.

but useless because I don't know. Dave, you're studying French? Yeah, we... You haven't got to little hats, E-hats yet? No. People are yelling at their iPods right now. A-pudes. I'm just supposed to tell like you said, I pood.

Jess. I pood. Jess, let us know. We can have a break if... This is Matt and a pood. Apud. You're listening to me. This show must go on.

Shalb and Romero. Two of the greats. Continue. Then a woman was killed on October 11th, and a second decapitation occurred on October 15th. My God. The beast was again spotted this time by Jean-Pierre-Pierre, who was working alone in a barn shortly before nightfall.

He grabbed his gun and fired. The creature fell, but got to his feet, once again. Jean-Priere fired again, and the animal fell once more. But it got up for the second time. It was like a fucking terminator this thing. Yeah, made a wild cry, apparently, according to Jean-Pierre. What did that sound like?

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. What? What? What? Just really inconvenienced. Car.

Oh, come on. Because I made this wild cry and then it pissed off. It's just shot two more times. Yeah. My favourite part about some of this bullshit that we do is that there are people that work in this office. They just hear stuff like that. So the new studio is pretty well soundproofed.

Not well enough for that. I'll be asking around. Okay. Did you hear that? Did you hear Matt get stabbed? Shot three times and get back up. Remember at the third, this is the third, Stupid Old Studios.

At the original one, the walls of the Pod Studio, two of them were curtains. And Aunty Donna used to rehearse. Like, they probably are now, but we just can't hear them. But back then, it would just bleed in through. And we assumed it would be catch caught by the mics. Apparently, we'd mention it off in early episodes,

but no one could hear it. I think there were episodes where people could hear them. Because there's a bit of screaming from those boys. Yeah, yelling out calm and stuff like that. Yeah. They've done it again. That's back then. They've probably, I don't know if they're doing a lot of cum stuff anymore.

Still a fair bit of cum stuff. But yeah, these days we can't even hear it. And I lived at that studio. So, and the bedroom walls were as thin as anything. I think that were, maybe it was like a thick piece of paper. I think it was used for the walls. Yes, yes. A cardboard.

A paper with a real heft. A high GSM. So I'd, I'd, I'd wake up some days to all sorts of sounds being made. Dr. Brown used to run classes there, clowning classes. I wake up, like, some of it are creeping into your dreams. You have like a pretty wild dream, and then you wake up, oh, clowns.

And the clowns are not in my dream. They're in my house. The clowns are coming from inside the building. Anyway, so, yeah, it's been shot multiple times again. which at least puts it off. Wouldn't it be disheartening though that you're like, about to get a year's wages for a reward? Yeah.

Oh, well, at least I guess it left. That's not a bad. Hopefully it's not coming back. I hope it doesn't hold a grudge. Well, this beast, wouldn't put it past it. As news of the beast continued to spread by churches and whatnot,

the fear was rapidly bringing local commerce to a halt. And with good reason, you'd think. Peasants and tradespeople were afraid to head to their job. in the fields or the markets. I reckon that's fair enough. I reckon I'd be getting at the point where I'd probably be working from home. Hard to do that as a herdsman.

Yeah. But like... See, the kids out. If there was like a beast somewhere in this studio, I'd be saying let's record somewhere else. Okay. Until it's dealt with, you know? God, you're a coward.

Yeah, I am a coward, though. You have no, like, it's just so unprofessional. Yeah, no loyalty to the listeners. To the craft. Yeah. What about the listeners out there? Well, I know, they'll, you know, the show would finish

with a blood-curdling scream each week because one of us is taken down. Which would sound like... Oh! Oh, God! Come on! Don't do a poem. Guys!

Why me? There's others here. Come on. Broden's got a lot of meat and his bones. Go kill Broden. No, it's a lot of, like, muscle. I was muscle not good to eat. I imagine it would be quite like, uh, chewy.

I always thought muscle was the good stuff. Yeah, I don't know, actually. Huh. We need to ask. Ask a cannibal. Yeah. We got it. Should we bring back that old segment we used to do?

Ask a cannibal. Yeah, I think we should. Just to check in on the cannibal too. Dave, you can be the cannibal this week. Okay. Now, thanks so much for joining us for our weekly segment. Ask the Cannibal. Great to be here.

Now, cannibal. I'm feeling quite hungry. This is, apologies if this is a common question that's asked. What's better to eat muscle or fat? My preference is all of the above. Okay. Maybe we shouldn't ask a cannibal. Yeah, you're right.

Like, what would be, but like, yeah, what is meat if not, like, muscle? Sorry, cannibal. Thanks for joining us. That was very rude. Yeah, sorry, I've moved on. What are you guys doing for lunch? Back in your cage, cannibal. I'm caged.

I love that voice you put on, too, for the character. That was fantastic. You really embodied the cannibal. Cray. Cannibal Craig. I can't hear the difference. Wait, what are we talking about again? I know.

I keep forgetting what I'm talking about. It's been shot. couple of times. Oh, that's right. Rohn and being eaten. Yes. Retressing our steps and we find out just how insane we sound. So they're getting a bit desperate and they're starting to come up with, you know, new tactics. Some of them are bit grim, including this one. Old mate, the Count, Jean-François, Charles de la Moulet,

who Lefont first hooked up with months earlier. Oh. Oh, did I not mention that? The count was still, through all this time, heading out, leading hunts, a bunch of peasants in tow, unarmed, and he's taking them out. Even though they're now legally allowed to carry guns, there weren't enough guns to go around. So a lot of the peasants, even though they were legally allowed to have him, were still relying on their sticks and words. Common theory at the time was that the beast could have been some sort of apex predator from Africa that had escaped a private residences collection, which I think you, You both sort of had a bit of a stab at earlier.

I reckon it could be a camel. Ooh. I had no idea what it looked like. Yeah. That's sort of got a face of a calf. Yeah. And a taste for blood. Yeah.

And sort of, and longish hair. That'd be pretty quick. Yeah. Yeah. And these wintery alpine, like. Yeah. Perfect conditions.

Perfect settings. Hmm. I mean, a camel is sort of like a living mountain, you know? Holy shit. Oh my God. So if you want, if you want to be. Blend in.

Mountain conditions. You want to blend in. Yeah. Send in the living mountain. That's right. This all makes sense. Yeah. So if Charles Barkley's not available,

roundbound of memory bound, send in the camel. So the Counts thinking that he personally thinks this is what it is. It's some sort of African animal. He's thinking the oncoming winter will sort this thing out. And African animal is not going to enjoy being out in the snow. But this turned out to be wishful thinking. As it turned out,

the snowy conditions probably hindered the hunter. more than the hunted. Many hunt days were cancelled due to the weather, while the beast continued on its killing spree. They're like, it's raining outside. I can't be bothered. Fairly like a full on snow and stuff, they're like, they plan this big day.

Hundreds of people were ready to go and they're like, it's actually pretty grim out there. It's going to kill more of us. Yeah. But the conditions are awesome for skiing, and that sounds fun. Let's go skiing! I mean, we've already all taken the day of work.

We got a full metre of the good stuff Get out there Cut till they're doing snow angels Just having a really nice It was actually a really beautiful moment of community bonding Brought them in This is what they needed Bromim

Brought them together That's what they needed It's what France needed A snow day I was always jealous of like American movies And stuff Where they had a snow day Oh school gets cancelled

And they all run out to the street That looks so fun I didn't have any The best we had was Hot Weather Day things where they like shorten lunch and I think you have to leave earlier and they went around the playground with a hose.

Yeah, our school, I was about to ask you if your schools would, because ours would turn the sprinklers on on the oval. On the oval and you could run through the sprinklers. Yeah. You just did that too? Yeah, you can run through the sprinkler. But do you not think, like, if we say that to people

who live in like cold climates or other countries or something, how baffling that sounds? And they would take us out like, you know, one classroom at a time or, you know, one year level at a time, let the kids run around the oval in the sprinklers get so, Woking wet and then go back to class because it was so hot. We probably didn't have aircon, we'd probably just had ceiling fans.

Yes, that's true. It had to be like 40 plus and they'd do that. They'd take us out the sprinklers. That's so cute. Tell the sprinklers! And it was so much fun. You'd be so excited if the sprinklers were happening. That's almost as good as a snow day.

Yeah. I would have died for a sprinkler, just getting hosed down. Yeah. Smashed in the face with water. What, the teacher's got on the jet setting? And they're just targeting you because you've been a bit of a shit that day. I hadn't thought of that. Some of the teachers would have really enjoyed that.

Oh, yeah, I would love that. That's why I should be a teacher. It's a smashing little Johnny in the back of the head. Oh, did I get you, mate? Sorry about that. Up you get. Up again. Up again.

Up again. Oh, you're down again, Johnny. God you are clumsy today. Oh, that is, that does sound very full on. Very clumsy today. You're gas-lighting children. Waterboarding a child. Yes.

I'm not a teacher, guys. Yeah, it's okay. We won't let a knit kids, it's fine. Not alone. Start to understand Goose. Yeah, he's messed up. He won't protect you, yeah. Yeah, he's like, thank God.

Take her. Hosing him down in your apartment. He loves it. Oh, so I mentioned, but never got to it. The Count decreed a grisly new tactic. They needed to change tact. They're like, this isn't working. How do we get it?

reluctantly, the count advised that if the beast killed again, the victim's corpse must be left where it was. And they started even treating the corpse with poison. The hope was that the creature would return to its kills. And they thought it had been. So they're like, we poison it. It goes back to continue feeding. And then we'd kill it that way. We'd kill it.

But that's a classic serial killer. Don't they return to the scene sometimes? Just like, you know, go bury the victim somewhere and go and visit it? Yeah. This thing's twisted. Yeah, this is a twisted beast. He's probably got some trophies. Like the head.

Yeah, that's right. That's why it's starting to... Doesn't that happen as well, serial killers? Their M.O. like, gets more and more full on. That's what it just started decapitating him, you know, a while in to its journey. It's not the destination for a serial killer. It's about going. Yeah.

And killing. And killing. Lafant had stayed in contact with powerful people across France, keeping them abreast of all things, Leboot. The beast. I'm sure I'm saying some other, it'd be the boot probably or something like that. Instead of a breast, I've started saying a boob. A boob.

I'll keep you a boob. It's a bit of fun. It's fun. Just if everybody wants to incorporate that into their vocab. And do you wait to see if anyone calls you up on it? I don't really say it outside of my house, to be honest. Oh, okay. Just be great if you put it in there just to see people like, sorry, did you say a boob?

Yes. I'll keep you a boob of my ETA. Yeah. I'll keep you a boob. Okay. All right. Hey, don't finish all that boob. I'm saving some boob.

I'm saving Roof and Boob. You're going to save some boob. One of these powerful people that Lafant was giving contact with was military commander Count Moncun. Oh. Monquin sent more than 50 dragoons to the area to take over the hunt. 50 dragoons? The big guns were coming in. I think dragoons meant something like dragons in French.

So it's bringing 50 dragons. But dragoons back then were mum. musket armed soldiers on horseback and on foot. Oh, okay. They did the big two. At the same time? Yeah. Wow.

One on one off. It was very uncomfortable, but it was kind of their thing. Okay. They were to be captained by one Sergeant Major Jean-Baptiste Boulinger, Monsieur Duamel. I'm just going to call them Duomel. I've had to write in brackets. This word more than February and others, I cannot say,

It's spelled monsoir, right? But it said, Monsieur. Monsieur. Yeah, man, so I've put it in brackets every time I have to say. Which is only a couple times. Anyway, a little peek behind the curtain there. According to Schwalb and Romero, the 32-year-old de Hamev was eager to set something right after sharing in the collective humbling of the French armed forces in the seven-year war.

He was there, and apparently a lot of people there was very ego bruising. You know, they went in thinking, you want to start a fight with us, France, with the big boys. And they'll just tail between their legs by the end of it. So he specifically requested the mission to destroy the man-eater. He was convinced that at this moment

his rightful place in the universe was that of champion to be of the ravaged gervidun. Jevedon. There are many signs of wounded masculinity among the lead huntsman, Smith says, the historian I quoted before, especially Duhamel.

He had a highly sensitive regard for his own honour and had some bad experiences in the war and looked at this challenge of defeating the beast as his way to redeem himself. Right. So he was all in. He's like, this is my chance. They arrived at the end of October.

This is Duhamel and his dragoons. They arrived in full uniform, you know, full old school French army get-ups. They had the best of the best modern weapons of the day, guns and pistols. surely Duhamel and his dragoons would finally put an end to Leibitz reign of terror. I don't know I said the English words weird.

At this time, the print media was starting to kick off as well. Oh, typical. Sorry, I heard print media and I was a bit triggered. Sorry, the lame stream media. News of the beast helped sell papers. These sort of early days of the newspapers becoming bigger and bigger. and obviously it helped sell papers also help spread awareness and fear of the beast. According to Lorraine Bussonet writing for the Smithsonian,

because political news was mostly censored by the king, newspapers had to turn to other sources of information and entertainment to bolster subscriptions. Francois Morayin, creator and editor of the Courier de Avenue, used a new type of reporting where he took stories of everyday incidents in small villages similar to today's true. crime to tell the tale. His reportage, in particular, transformed the beast from a backwater calamity into a national affair. So it was becoming big news nationally now. Huge.

Apparently, one paper started selling about three times as many copies after it started reporting on the beast. So it was good for business. And this is something people talk about as well. If it wasn't for the newspapers, maybe this story would basically be forgotten. Oh, right, because it was just so local. Yeah. And at the time, you know, disparate sort of communities and whatnot. But the other thing is, the records of it have been so good. Just like people who were reporting on it, and there's so many books mainly written in French, apparently, movies and all sorts of things. But they've got great records still about each death. That's why you know all these names. Not all of them are recorded.

And one of the things about why they aren't recorded was interesting, is because some of the kids died before getting First Communion or whatever. It was a very Catholic country at the time, and that basically meant that they weren't, their names weren't recorded and stuff. Ah. I guess they weren't quite seen as, as human yet. Wow. My God. That might be, that's probably over-sourcing it a bit.

And in the end, it wasn't only the French papers. It became big international news as well. The Australian papers? Oh, yeah. The Murdoch Press was all over. The Morabin Standard. I remember delivering a paper about it. Front-page news.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Not jevet-do-d-d-d-on. What were you using to get around to deliver the papers? Oh, it was like a proto penny farthing. The original one had the big wheel at the back. It probably, okay, I was going to say it probably helps to throw them from a height, but if the big wheel's at the back, it's not bad.

Yeah, my knees are dragging on the ground. It was not very efficient. Then it was painful too, to be honest, but it's all we knew. We're still better than walking. Walking on my knees, anyway, because they would be ripped up. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, horribly ripped up. According to Schwalb and Romero, publications in London, Amsterdam, Brussels, Cologne, Boston, and other cities gave coverage to the story of the beast.

Amazing. Images were reproduced on tin plates and ceramic wear. Taxidermy specimen hyenas of the Gervidon were sold in subsequent years as yard accents. It became a big cultural phenomenon. Wow. Right. But imagine that you're like, my child was absolutely savaged them all by this. And you've got a fake one in your front yard for a bit of fun.

It feels pretty poor taste. You've got a commemorative plate next to your William and Kate wedding plate. Yeah, I'm imagining these aren't happening in the towns. Probably. It's probably in the big smoke Paris and stuff. Yeah, Cologne think it's funny. Yeah. Down in that place, so we're not even sure if it really is.

this. But that's another reason why they're like, it's almost mythical. Down there, the Gervidon? Yeah, sure. It's not even on the fucking map. What, you mean the question mark area? Thought that was where the riddler was from. The creature reappeared in mid-November,

attacking four adults between the 18th and the end of the month. On the 25th, it brought death to 60-year-old widow Catherine Valley with another decapitation. Oh. Perhaps even more to see. disturbing, Duhamel, as the count had suggested, used her remains as bait, believing, as had been insisted, the beast would come back for more. It didn't. So just kind of a final grim insult to the deceased. They're just like stuffed her full of poison. Put her out in the field and then waited for three days. Oh, God, that's so good. Yeah, so sad. So this was obviously frustrating to help motivate the hunters and to keep their spirits up. The reward was increased to a total. Remember what it was?

200. 200. It was now 4,000 leavers. Oh, my God. 200 was a year's wage for a laborer, so 4,000. Basically, a small fortune was being offered for the head of the beast. 200 is a year's wage, 4,000. 20 years wage.

Holy shit. For us, that's like a billion dollars. Would we get one-twentieth of a billion? A good. Thank you for supporting us on Patreon. One billion dollars. In mid-December, the beast went on another killing spree. It's funny that I'm calling a killing spree.

This is one continuous killing spree with little breaks in between. On another one. Starting fresh every time. Yeah, each time it says... Trying to quit. That's it. Yeah, it's trying to quit. Never again.

It's hard. Today is the first day of the rest of my killing free life. Oh, no, I've killed again. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. I promised tomorrow. No, well, Monday. Yeah. Oh, it's a long weekend Tuesday.

Okay? Well, if it's already Tuesday. Yeah, I'll see out the week. See out though, it makes sense. And that will take us pretty deep into the month. So I'll make it at the end of the month. Yeah. Hang on, but that only leaves two more weeks of the semester.

So, really. And then there's only one more month to the end of the financial year. I may as well start fresh. But then tax time is a stressful time, and I'll probably don't want to be going cold turkey then. Yeah. I know what I'm like. And Christmas is just around the corner. Yeah, from the end of financially.

Oh my God, and now the hot cross buns are on the shelves. January 1st, the buns are out, typical. Buns out, beast out. That's what we say. In mid-December, the Beast is on this killing spree. Oh, almost buns time. Many decapitations. Oh, no.

The victims including a 45-year-old herter, Catherine Chastang, before taking out another eight victims one by one. People of all ages, no one was safe. But like I say, it was still mainly women and children. Typical. I think this beast had a sort of a Titanic-like... Yeah. A little bit of children first.

He misunderstood it. It's like, no, to safety. To kill, to eat? Yeah. Okay. He was a big fan of Cameron's work. James Cameron's work. Well, he is like a fucking Terminator, this guy.

He is, isn't he? Despite high hopes. Duhamel and his dragoons were having no luck at all. He's, and apparently super dedicated. He wants to, you know, save his own reputation. Oh, right, yeah. So he's putting everything into it. And the people. He's more interesting, his rep.

Totally. I need this, he's saying. That does feel a bit like that, yeah. Then in late December, after having no luck for a few months, he finally set his eyes on the beast back at its old hunting ground, the chateau de la petite Versailles. Unfortunately though, some of his dragoons, more like some of his buffoons, accidentally spook the creature and it got away before they could get any shots.

They were just sitting off some fireworks. I thought it would be pretty. It's Christmas. Come on. Oh, do this every time of you. Not when we're hunting a beast. I don't want to have to tell you again. I do them all.

Fuck, what a party, pooper. It's all about the boost with this guy. So he's finally seen it, though, and Duhamel described the beast saying, it had a breast as wide as a horse, a body as long as a leopids. Sorry, man. It had a boob as wide as a horse. It had a body as long as a horse. Legs, as long as a horse. I'm fairly certain it was a horse.

No. Body was as long as a leopard, and it had fur that was red with a black stripe, concluding, you will undoubtedly think, like I do. I love how he said it. Now, obviously, based on this description, what do you think he's going to say? Is an Essendon supporter? Prest as well as a horse. What is long as a leopards?

Red with a black stripe. Obviously, you'll think like me. Essendant supporter, do you reckon? What do you think, Jess? Fox. Okay. Undoubtedly, you'll think like me that this is a hybrid, the father of which is a the lion, the mother remains to be seen.

Okay. Conclusive on the father. Yeah. The mother we don't know. Usually, often it can be the other way around. I'm certain who the father is. And undoubtedly, you'll be thinking this. Obviously.

Okay. So, to be Captain obvious. We're all thinking, Dad lion. Also, why is the father a lion? Don't. Why couldn't the mother be a lion? Yeah, because that does actually, like a lion and tiger hybrid does change based on who's the father and the mother.

Oh, really? Yeah, a Liga is a lion dad, I think, with a tiger mom and a tiger on is a tiger dad, a lion mom. Okay. And they have slightly different characteristics. Interesting. Okay, so maybe there was some merit to what he was saying. But I doubt he knew that. Surely he probably would not know that.

He's not an animal man. Maybe he is an animal man He's been hiding in plain sight No wonder he hasn't caught him And that's why he's describing him like this Well, certainly Dad's a line which is mine isn't My dad's a human

So it's not up for me No one was suggesting it was you do a male Yeah well that's No should they No should that'd be stupid Yeah makes no sense at all That'd be foolish and shut up According to a Forbes article

Written by David Bresson A local newspaper wrote around this time, a ferocious beast of unknown type, coming from who knows where, attacks the human species, killing individuals, drinking their blood, feasting on their flesh, and multiplying its carnage from day to day. Hunters who are in pursuit have neither been able to stop it because it is more agile than they, nor lure it into their traps, because it surpasses them in cunning, nor engage in combat when it presents itself to them, because its terrifying appearance weakens their courage, disturbs their vision, sets their hands shaking, and neutralizes their skill.

Oh. He's really, this is an article, just like, these hunters are just, they're really just wussing out. Yeah. And fair enough too. This is a beast we're dealing with you. Yeah. It's the sun of a lion and something else.

There are stories of it, though, where people holding a gun, see the lion. I've said too much. No. See the beast and just forget they're holding a gun and freak out and run. Like there's a few stories like this. Wow. That's fair. I forget they're holding on.

I realize they're holding the gun backwards. I've missed. I've shot my dad. It's a lie. Coincident. Yeah. Yeah. And they're the people who are coming away telling that story.

And you can't help but think or I can't help but think. And I'm sure you've come to the same. But some of the people who are coming back with these stories of it being this huge scary beast and that they shot it and it survived at people who were like shat themselves. Oh, right. Yeah, maybe. I swear I shot it twice. I shot it twice, but it was huge and scary.

Yeah. Not they shot themselves and ran. Well, they missed. Yeah, yeah. But, you know. And when they say the beast fell because they shot it and then got back out, actually it was just tying. Lace and then walking off.

Going, hey, guys. Oh, sorry, shoelace on done. Hey, guys, sorry. Sorry, again, shoeless. Other shoe, god damn it. Why are you shooting at me? I said shoe, not shoot, shoelace, not shoot lace. You missed anyway.

All right, no, fine. I can tell you're in a mood. I'll be off. I can tell you're in a mood. That's, you can tell when people are shooting at you, they're in a bit of a mood. That's the worst thing to say to somebody who's in a mood. Yeah, yeah. I can tell you're in a mood.

Yeah, oh. I'll kill you. January would prove to be a brutal month, so in the second year. As Schwab and Romero write, the Anglo-Saxons called January Wolf Month. I think that was on their cable TV network. Discovery. The time of year when the predators were most ravenous. The beast wasted no time in living up to the reputation of its northern brothers,

with a January 2 decapitation of another victim. There would be more than two dozen attacks and ten deaths in the first month of 1765. How long has this all been going on for? This is not even a year yet. Wow. But already like, you know, tens of people have died and more than that have been attacked. Yeah. As if things weren't dire enough for the people of the Jevudan, the Bishop of Monde,

who Jess has already predicted is the beast, wrote a letter to the people. Honestly, I hadn't even thought of it. And I don't, I'm sure someone on the internet, Because there's internet theories suggesting pretty much everyone is the beast. So they're probably already done that. But I think that's my favourite theory now. Okay.

The Beast of Mond. So the Bishop of Mond. Oh my God. The Beast of Mon. See how easily that just looked out for you? Wow. So the bishop wrote a letter. So they're all gone.

Everything's gone wrong. Yeah. Then they get this letter, open letter to the people of the area from the bishop. Suggesting the beast attack. were all their fault. In the letter, the bishop summarised the many misfortunes that had been occurring, the war, the rough weather, the famine, the ferocious beasts before saying, you can easily conclude that your misfortunes can come only from your sins.

Yeah, right. I was going to say I'm perplexed as to how he's making bad weather their fault, but because of their sins. Stop sinning. Stop sinning. I don't want to have to say it. Like, honestly, you guys, I can't believe this has been going around for ages and you haven't thought to stop sinning. It's just, that's rule number one for me.

And I've been, I have been saying it. Yeah. And I hate to say I told you so. But this is your fault. I'm with the bishop. Yeah. Me too. To combat this makes sense.

What do you do if sinning's causing a beast? Put everybody in straight jackets. How can you sin if you're in a straight jacket? Dunkin's some holy water. Oh, that's clever. they didn't go with those, but they're great options. Instead, they went with a 40-hour prayer vigil. Great.

And it was going to be held for three weeks in succession starting on January 6th. So 40 hours over three weeks? Yeah. Incredible. They've somehow changed time itself. That's strong praying. I read it like they do on January 6th, they'd do a 40-hour vigil. Following week another 40 hours.

A three-week straight 40-hour. because it's like it's pretty daunting if you said to them. Like it's going to be hundreds of hours. It's only 40 hours over three weeks. We're going to have micro breaks in between. Every second second, that's a break. You're only vigiling every second second. Yeah.

One second on, one second off. Your second off. It's interval. When you're in your interval, you can do whatever you like. That's your time. And then you're back on. That's God's time. Okay.

That's time to vigil. Unfortunately, though, on, The day of the first vigil, January 6th, the prayers clearly weren't combating the beast because that same day, two more women were killed. Oh dear. Okay, well, where were they? They weren't at the vigil, were they? Oh, my God.

Exactly. Or they were tending to their animals, their livelihood. Oh, okay. Yeah. Should have been at the vigil. Everyone at the vigil. The were safe. Yes, that was true.

Mark safe at the vigil. Mm. So? Oh, that's a good point. There is correlation. Mm-hmm. They were sitting. And that equals.

Causation, isn't it? Absolutely. Is that something I've heard before? Mm-hmm. Correlation equals causation. Yes. Yes. Okay, great. So, yeah, so it got off to a bad start, but like you say, Jess, if they weren't

at the vigil, then who's fault is it? That's on them. That's on them. Six days later, the Beast met its match when it tried its luck against a plucky group of rag-tag kids. A 12-year-old named Jacques-André Potefe and his mates. What were their names? I'm about to tell you.

I really thought you were going to skip over to it. That's what I, initially I wrote it like that, I'm like, if I'm going to give one of them his crowd, I got to give it to all of them. So it was January the 12th, 1765, and seven children were watching their family's cattle on a local mountainside. Jacques Pontefay was with fellow 12-year-olds Jacques Cousteen and Jean-Pic. They were each wielding a long stick topped with a triangular iron point covered by a sheath. That was sort of play fighting and stuff. These were the big kids of the group, the three 12-year-olds.

Then there were eight-year-old's Jean Verrier and Joseph Peniflu And not Defending his family To do to show to shore thing And then there were nine year olds Madeline Schausch

And Jean Guirth The kids were play fighting While looking after the cows when they saw the monster loping up the mountain trail towards them, and I'll let our old mates Schwalb and Romero take the story out from here. I think you said his name differently every time. Which one? Shalb.

Schwab. Swab. It's probably Schwab. But there's an L in there. And that's... It needs a whole mouth to move. Anyway, yeah, go on. There's an Arny impression over there.

Yeah, it's got an L in it, which means... Raoul. Go to the chopper. Schwab. Get us in charge. So. My favorite author is Schaub. Schwab.

Schwab and Romero. Yeah, I think it's fair to say, and throughout the book, and I haven't been quoting them in these sections as much, but fair to say, they're taking a bit of creative license just to really flesh out the stories. They've added dialogue, including some of the shepherds who were killed and found dead. They, like, wrote it. And she looked down and saw a flower. And she plucked it and had a smell, but then looked up and saw the beast.

You know, like they couldn't have known any of that. And she was singing to herself, how the sheep may eat the grass, eating the grass is fun today. Stuff like that. It's not a fun to pat out the story, but they've done that. It really does scream to me patting for word cam. Yeah. They've done that in this case as well. So I'm going to read out this story, including some of their dialogue that they've put in the mouths of these children.

Although these children, spoiler it, survived. So this story was told later, so maybe they got some of it from records. La Bette! Jacques bellowed. He dashed to Joseph and hauled the youngster to his feet. Everyone here now! He pulled the sheath from the end of his park and made the sign of the cross. Madeline, Jean, varia, panofu, behind, Cousin, Pick with me.

But LaBit had already arrived. She proud about the little troop leering. Shee. Shee. It's a she wolf. The beast of the Jevudon was the size of a one-year-old calf. Her fur was reddish. She had a black stripe along her back and a long tail and fangs.

She's ugly, Jean whispered. She smells, added Madeline. We're all sink in the boot in there, guys. This thing's going to kill you and you're like, pretty ugly. These guys know how to write children dialogue, don't they? They know how to get into the... She smells! The beast salivated.

The beast salivated Circle shouted Pontefay Turn with her He shoved his companions So they knew back then And I guess they do now Apparently That wolves

Are not likely to come at your front on They'll come at you from behind For some reason So apparently I read somewhere That some people When dealing with a wolf enclosure They'll wear like a mask on the back of their head Even

So that's why he's trying to keep And obviously Pontifo knows this He's trying to keep the wolf in front of them You know what I mean? Yep. So that it's not going to be able to get him, come at him from behind. Keep her in front of us. The cattle stamped their feet and load.

The cows will protect us. Joseph cried. Hide amongst them. He bolted for the herd. Lebed lept. In one fluid motion, he caught little paniflow by the throat. Come on! Come on!

Bantafeu! Pontefer yelled, as if awakened from some trance. The youngsters moved, thrusting primitive spears. Harder, said Pontefei. They stabbed shrieking. The beast disorientated, release Pannaflu. But not before she tore away his right cheek. She devoured it in an instant.

Madeline dragged Pannaflower away and held him. The beast's eyes snapped. It rushed again. The girl screamed. Stay together, shouted Ponafei. Circle! The beast lunged into the eight-year-old Jean-Vere who fell. It drew back, then lunged again, biting him on the lips.

Oh! Isn't that a wild idea? Oh, that's unlucky. How do you get bitten on the lips? Maybe, do you think he was pouting at the time? He's puckering up. He might have been puckering. He was taking selfies doing duckface.

This is in 2012, right? Yeah. Well, the 2012 of the 1700s. That's right. In the Scotland of France. The older children advanced. Still le beat struck, dragging Jean away by his arm. Custin wailed.

We must get help. No, Rod Pontefay. We rescue Jean or perish with him. Pick. Go left. I'll go right. Drive it into the bog, everyone. They all followed Pontefay.

Even the cattle moved towards the creature, tossing their horns. Those fucking beautiful big beasts. Very cool. Distracted. Lebede stumbled into the swamp with Varia and struggled in the freezing water. The children caught up. Charge! Commanded Pontefay.

Monster! shouted Custon. Dimon, said Madeline, yelling for all they were worth. Are they just taunting it now? They're taunting it. They're using their words. The boys and girls surrounded the famous beast of the Jevoudon.

Attack her head, her eyes, her jaws, advised Pontefay. They jabbed at the creature over and over again. It seemed like forever, when in fact the entire encounter lasted mere minutes. Le Bitte was unable to kill or even bite little Jean. She was too busy snapping at the primitive parks and dodging blows. Once she seized Pontefay's iron tip and bent it. Finally, Le Bid dropped Véyer and drew back. Pontefay scrambled down to help the little boy.

Le Bitt freed herself from the bog, shaking the wet from her fur like a dog. She turned to... A pug. Like a pug. Like a pug dog. In a very pug-ish way. She turned to study her attackers from a top of mound. We have her now, said Pontefay.

The seven clenched spears. But Le Bit had had enough of the youngsters. She darted into the forest. She's gone, said Madeline. Children! The children wheeled. An adult had arrived at last. Oh, about time, adult.

Hey, I just watched you fight off the beast and I thought I'd wait till the left. Yeah, funny timing, adult. Oh, yeah, I need any help? Yeah, it's gone now. Thanks, mate. Thanks for nothing. Oh, it's weird that no adult males are getting eaten. They're all arriving just after it happens.

Or maybe that adult had just taken off their beast costume. Oh. You know, it's like in a horror movie. Hey, guys, I've missed anything? Hang on a second. Where have you been? You've never seen you on the best in the same room at the same time. Just went to get a drink.

I was just down in the basement getting a drink from the fridge. Sure thing. Adult. You can't trust them. No. Like, yeah, I was watching with binoculars and then, surprisingly, you weren't savage to death. So here I am. Yeah. Save the day. I thought it would be coming in to collect the bodies, but you're all still here. Classic adults, always just sweeping in for the good times. Where are they where things go wrong? Nowhere. Nowhere to be seen.

Pathetic. Honestly, flaky. If I was going to describe adults with one word, flaky. I hate adults. Yeah, they all got dandruff. I'm sorry, I zoned out. What are we talking about? No, that's bad right. Yeah, adults have dandruff. I've got, oh, I've got adult onset dandruff.

I'm on my second coffee now. Finish the orange juice, though, just to keep people updated before. Halfway through the water. I'm on the edge of busting. But the story goes on. So the beast got away. They didn't kill it, but they did kind of defeat it, which was pretty badass, right? Yeah, very cool.

No fatalities. One kid had his lips bit off, one at his cheek bit off. I'm kind of glad in a way that they didn't. kill the beast because that monsieur man who his whole self-worth is pinned on him pinned on him getting he needs this if the kids had been able to do it and he couldn't he would have been devastated yeah yeah that wouldn't have ended well for him he's like oh come i got i can't get it right in the war i can't get this i'm not i've got nothing yeah yeah you're right he needs this more than them for du humel but yeah this story ended up becoming quite famous it spread it all around both france and

then internationally even, like it got relayed in... The age. British papers. The age in Melbourne. Holy freaking shit. Yeah, which was wild because it didn't even exist yet. It was the first story that they ever wrote. They put the age on that.

That's a good trivia one. Yeah. What was the age's first story? And do they wait for any other stories? It was a newspaper with one story that day. Yeah. They're like, this is it. I think we could build a paper around this.

But they still filled 40 pages. Yeah. Wow, with one story. It was very comprehensive. and a lot of stuff made up. And then they got in a hot air balloon. I went to space. And then my mum was there.

And she didn't leave me. She's just stuck in space. They actually based the Fast and the Furious franchise off this story. Wow. Incredible stuff. They wrote out the wolf and wrote in a diesel. The very delicate ego. Dehmel.

Yeah, that's Vin Diesel. That's Vin Diesel. So, yeah, it became a big story. there's these great works of art depicting the story as well. I wonder if I can find one for you. Do you want to see one now? That's awesome. That wasn't a yes.

So I'd just keep over the report than I reckon. Do you want to see one? That's awesome. I thought we would edit that bit out and then Matt would show us and if we could cut it to that's awesome, you know? So you're like, I'm not even going to bother. No, no, no. I didn't like you, when Matt's describing it's saying,

and I said, that's awesome. And then he'd show us and we go, whoa, look at that. You know, Jess, I'm always thinking three steps ahead here. I'm eight steps behind. Welcome to do go on. Oh, can I just say, that's awesome. Yeah, I love it. That's cool.

Okay, so let's describe it, which we'll probably post it during the week on the social media, but there's a, what, how did you? It's kind of like a, it looks a bit like a dog. Dog. It's like a Chinese dragon. Yes, yeah, yeah, totally. You've seen it in a parade. and then four, one, two, three, four kids holding up clubs. Actually, there's a fifth one there.

And then one kid who's just like, can't see, can't hear, like covering their ears, closing their eyes. I think, yeah, you can see the kid saying, la, la, la. Very relaxed. No, honestly, behaving like an adult. That kid will probably grow up to be one one day based on that attitude. You can't say that about children. Actually, Matt, if you zoom in the background, can you see the parent with a binoculars? hiding behind a bush.

Jeez, these freaking adults, I'll tell you what. I don't trust them. I wouldn't, no. So, yeah, beautiful bit of artwork there. Cordonne Schwalb and Romero. That was different. That was different. The courage of the seven children rallied King, court and people

and provided the young hero Port-a-fay with an all-expenses paid education and a career in the military. Wow. This was his big break. Wow. He's from this little backwater, you know, the Scotland of France.

And all of a sudden, the king's taken him under his wing. You imagine if the kids made that up. Yeah. And he's gotten this job. Wow. And they fucking lied. Oh, do you reckon they could? Yeah.

One of them cut his own cheek off just to. Well, what about the other kids? We take this to the grave. The other kids didn't quite get the same glory, but they all did get cash as well. Oh, okay. They got the cash prize. They got a few leverers. So did he took the mystery box, which was working for the king, where they all took

the cash price. Good on them. Yeah. I think, you know, they say like the lump sum or the monthly payments or whatever, I think when it comes to the mystery box or the money, I think you take the cash. Yeah, I think so. Cash out now. It's guaranteed.

Yeah. What if the box is clearly just... More cash? Yeah. It's like in the shape of cash. That's the trick. Yeah, that's when I get suspicious. That's a trick.

If it looks like a bit of cash, it's probably not a bit of cash. Yeah. If it looks like a pineapple, it's probably cash. Okay. Yeah. The two options. We should always be your phone phone. Like $50 bills?

No. Okay. Australia that some people call them. I get it. Pineapples. But that's incorrect. I was saying that for the listeners. Don't you patronise me.

20s are lobsters. Yes. 50s are pineapples. Is it a 10? They're Pavarottis. Teners. I heard someone referred to one as a Don Bradman. Oh.

Is that the 100? Yeah, maybe. Maybe that's the 99.9.96. or whatever. What was he? It's my favourite note. It's my favourite note. Oh, Gary Jack from the UK

will be screaming in his ipoved right now. Gary's very upset at you. Anyway, let's go back to the story. This is still Schwalb and Romero. But the triumph was a temporary one. The Beast immediately resumed its month-long January rampage. Oh, that's right. It's Beast Month.

It's Beast Month. It's Wolf Month here on Fox, which is weird. It even assailed Pike-Urump. men and mauled a 20-year-old woman, Catherine Boyer, and she's the woman who became known as La Bellefrey or Scarfay or the Scarface. Al Pacino. By the end of the month, it was announced that King Louis X-15th would pay a further 6,000 liverets.

Holy shit. In reward on top of the already 4,000. So this is now 10,000. How many years' salary for a day laborer would that be, Dave? How much was it again? 2000. 200 was a year? What's 10,000?

Wow. Five per thousand, 50 years? Not bad. They don't live that long back then. Nah. No, you have more money than you can spend, mate. 50 years of salary for me. But would you take the lump sum? Or would you just take it like a salary for 50 years?

Or you take it in Bitcoin. I'm taking it now. Oh, Bitcoin in the 1700s. 10 grand. It's a lot of liverers. That's a lot. Months passed. and our man, Duhamel, led hunts with thousands of locals involved.

He was putting his all in still. Thousands of locals. Thousands. Peasants. Few nobles. Wow. A lot of sticks, a lot of racket. Yeah.

A lot of one-man bands. Chich-ch-ch-dip-d-bib-bib-bib-ch-ch-ch-a-blip. Don't forget the harmonica. My favorite instrument It's a lovely instrument It's so concise And it's done And that's it

Oh dear How do I do it Why do you do it Sorry thank you That's what I meant to say I've been speaking French so long I'm starting to forget English So the beast

Was seen sporadically Sometimes with human heads in its mouth wandering in the distance. Like it's... That would be a full on site. Yeah. My God, you saw that. But no one was able to get a good shot at it.

They're saying it, but no one can get it. But it is still attacking people. Deaths are continuing. People are being attacked. Many locals were spending their time being shit scared of the beast. That's a full-time job. While others used it to write letters to the officials suggesting ingenious ideas to catch the creature. Love it.

Now I'm going to read some of these fantastic ideas. Ingenious ideas. You've got to know that people have been wacky for centuries. Even if it's happened now, there'd be some crackpot being like, no, this is what you should do. Yeah. Yeah, it's similar to the people who call into sports radio to suggest new rules for AFL. Like, I think we'll fix the congestion by. And it's something like, what are you talking about?

We. Who's this we? We draw grids on the field. Everyone has their own meter by meter space. They're not allowed out of that space unless they're holding a chicken. And to make sure they don't move... The chicken's name has to be Gary. If it's not Gary, they have to move eastward.

The chicken must be wearing a little mini jersey with the same number as them. Or dividable by three. Also, I'm the boss of the new team. But non-negotiable. Also, can you tell my mum not to put peas in my dinner? I hate peas New rule No peas in my dinner

No peas in my dinner While I'm in charge There is something comforting About about people from the old days Being kooky Or like Or doing stuff like us And you're like oh okay

It's just something about humans I'm a little bit nervous now That this isn't going to live up To your kooky expectations Let's see, let's hear it So first we've got a Mr. Joas de Pippoo Who wrote to officials

Joe Poo poo That's got to be fake Joe Poooooooooooo-Poo What did Joe Poooooooooooooooo Joe de Poo-Poo. Joe the Poo-Poo. Joe the Poo, I beg your pardon. So he wrote to officials in Feb of 1765 to suggest that they should be counterfeiting women.

Okay. Joe Poo-Poo, please do go on. This is an English translation of part of his letter. To this end, seeing that the monster is ravenous for females, it is only necessary to place in the places it appears artificial females. Scared crows. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, okay. Composed of the most subtle poison

and expose them on flexible posts on the various roads to invite the cursed animal to show its unbridled fury and swallow its own end. Swallow its own ass? They want it to eat its own ass? No, the poison, its end, like it's death. Right, but it eats its own ass to form a circle

and live forever. You do not want that. Oh, no, this is back by. Is that how you live forever? Yes. Okay. Sun milk. I don't want to do that.

I don't want to do that. A one-man human centipede. Does it go to robberus or something like that? Three expanded pig bladders, seasoned with poisons, would make up a woman's head and breath. Season. Why? Talked about titties. Bake at 100 degrees.

Joey de Pippoo has thought this out, okay? Sorry, I don't know who you are to question. Sorry, Joe the Poo-Poo-Poo. So they're, the pig's blot. Poisoned pigs bladders. will make very convincing head and breasts. I've never seen a woman. A painted face would be affixed.

Monsieur di Papu wrote again in ten weeks with another plan. He's like, okay, obviously you didn't go with that one? Try this one. This one involved 25 intrepid men dressed in assorted animal skins and feathers with headgear trimmed in feathers and small knife edges. Everything should be coated in honey and fragrant with musk.

Then the hunters should combine 12 ounces of, human fat from a Christian with viper's blood, if available. What? The men should be armed with urs and pistols and three square bullets, bitten by the teeth of a woman or girl. What the fuck? Then joined with pieces of iron and also covered in fat, plus hunting knives and iron claws, also greased.

They should patrol three by three in silence in a large triangle. A single one of them could be the vanquisher of the cruel beast. So that's, I'm giving that to you. That's free. I don't even think he's expecting. So why the bullet's square? Oh my God, Dave, if you have to ask. Why are they bitten by a woman?

Yeah, yeah. Because that's the beast is after women. Now the women are after the beasts. And why they dress as animals? But give it to hiding. They've got knives on their heads. And they're covered in honey and grease. Dave, if you don't get it, you don't get it, which is fine.

Just say you don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it at all. No, I also have no idea where you don't understand it at all. They're on patrol. So it feels like he's combined, like he wants them to be eaten again, but also now they're also on patrol.

Wow. They're on patrol, in a triangle. And they keep getting covered with a new thing. Honey. Honey. Mask, grease. I have a Christian. Of a Christian.

Yeah, fat of a Christian. Vipers poison. Square bullets bitten by women. Vipers blood, sorry. Oh, and did they, I imagine that I said, you're a genius. Obviously, this one got done. Yeah. I'll say he offered it up for free, but I think he was expecting some of the reward if it came off.

And the glory from that fantastic idea. And some of the Christian fat. Yes. No questions asked. Where do you get? I don't know. These ones aren't quite as full on, but another plan was proposed by Monsieur Herbeur of Vinear. And that was to dress a sheep, a bear.

Dress a sheep like a little girl by fastening a bonnet on its head. A boy looks nothing like a little child. Look, here she comes. It's Madeline. Oh, no, went to school. I'm protected. Any beers could eat this child. Farewell, Madeline.

Enjoy your day at school. Dresses up. I await your return. Dress up a lot of little girls as sheep. Because otherwise the beast would notice, hang on, there's a few less sheep in the belly. The Madeline is wandering around at a woolly coat. But Herbeer, he did have some notes.

He said, it's best to arrange that the sheep is upright and about the same size as a child. So I get the sheep to walk on its tiny little pin legs. Perfect, yes. Then he said, to really sell it, you can fashion some other children out of straw and place them by the sheep. So the sheep will just start eating the fellow students. Then marksmen were to line weight nearby, ready to take it out. Great. He also suggested having real children cavort before another contingent of hidden marksmen.

Just go, if the sheep one doesn't work, just get... Use real kids. Just use dumb ones that no one likes. Another writer believed that the beast was a tiger cat from Mexico and suggested officials grease the backs of veal calves with poison and surround them with traps luring the beast to its doom. Mm-hmm. But he doesn't seem to like cars.

No, he doesn't like cars. You've got to grease up the children with boys. How's he, how's he jumped to, this is a guy I hasn't seen it, but he's like, oh yeah, that's a tiger cat. Oh, yeah, for sure.

That is very, very far from us. Show us the nose on my face. That is a to tiger cat from Mexico. A lieutenant colonel Dupere advised that the beast hunters should switch to steal musket balls since the beast rumoured to be covered in scales was impervious to lead. People going, we can't shoot it.

Obviously, it's covered in scales. Yeah. I don't mean, you know. Monsieur lepinas de mongabood proposed an infallible. Their mongoose. Licking ass of the mongoose. Yeah, he, I don't, I have no idea what this means,

but he proposed a quote, infallible wooden machine. just get an unbeatable wooden machine. And if they do, I want half a war. Apparently the guy who painted the automobile in America just had the idea of, he's like, he never did anything with it, but he got in patenting. No, like, so he made money on there. It's like, yeah, it's sort of like it's got wheels and it's motorized and it'll go.

That's my idea. If anyone ever makes one, that's, that was me. All right. My idea is think of the world's fastest supercomputer that, but three times as fast. That's mine. Copyright. It's my idea. Easy.

I think they've tightened up the rules since then. That's great. You would just go down there and just start riffing. All right, I'm imagining some sort of flying thing that you can get in and it takes your places. Bing! Next. Yeah. Hockey stick, but stronger than current hockey sticks.

Bing! All right, great. This is easy. A microchip that goes in your arm and you talk into it. It's like a phone now, but it's a microchip. your arm. Bigbing! Great.

Oh, my money, please. So this infallible wooden machine would be on a 25-foot track that would take the creature alive for the king. So it's just a... Okay. So it's on a track, infallible, it's wooden, it's a machine, it takes the beast. It's on a track. So it will only take the beast if the beast is in the exact spot they need it to be in.

Yeah, which it will be. Because I'll put a little girl there. Yeah, there'll be a wham just as a girl. Yeah. Landfish is a girl really got Dave. It's so funny. Just with a little bonnet on and them going, That's a girl.

That's definitely going to trick. And the beast knows. I mean, it's basically that inside the infallible wooden machine would be a model of a child used as bait. While in a tree nearby, someone would, quote, cry and lament all day and even more at night to attract the beast. Because the beast obviously loves the sound of tears. And lament. Oh, why? I should have, why didn't I say yes to Devon Le Boulogne?

Yes. Devon Le Boulogne. I should have said yes, he offered me a great opportunity. I should have said we. But I said no. I don't believe any of these suggestions were taken up by the official hunting parties. Oh, God. It's like they want to fail.

Yeah. It's like they're all on the bishop's side. This is just because of sins. Yeah. Fuck, no. I think it's a bishop. He's a dog. Yeah.

Oh my god, the bishop is a dog. Hang on. Dog bishop. So I know you're... Patten that. Dog bishop. A movie. It's about a dog bishop.

A play about a dog bishop just in case. A limited TV series. You've got to cover your bases. They'll get you. Yeah. So it's about a dog that's a bishop. And he goes on adventures. Or doesn't.

It's kind of like air bud, but with a bishop. There's nothing in the Bible that says. So, unfortunately. Unfortunately, your man, Duhamel could just couldn't get it done. No. And he ended up being replaced by a famed wolf hunter named Jean-Char de Nvel and his son of Jean-François. That's your best one so far. It wasn't that smooth of a transition.

There was quite an overlap where the father-son combo were there and they sort of bickered quite a bit with each other, Duhamel. And they're like, you know, he's getting in our way. He doesn't know what he's doing. And they talked a big game, the father and son. They're like, you know what, we're going to get this done in a couple of weeks. We'll get it done. I can't see any reason why we can't just get it done in a couple of weeks.

They had already told and bragged that they had killed 1,200 of the beasts in the past. Wolves. They were famed wolf hunters. And they came from Normandy. And were recommended by the King's Controller General. So they came to town. And they're like, yeah, a piece of piss. Whatever.

We'll go to Don't. No worries. Point us in the night direction. Get the checkbook ready. Yeah. Maybe you got to, like, so down the pub, what's the, what's the meal they're known for? What are they good at? Yeah.

Palmer, great. Get two of those going. We'll be back by the time they're ready. We'll be back in a jiff. Start pouring some pints ladies. We'll be right back. I want them to die. Okay.

Well, they probably will. Like, they're dead. now. Yeah, cop that. You got your wish. Well done, Jess. Thank you. So even after they came to town, the attacks and deaths continued.

Another famous incident occurred when the heroic woman Jean-Juves fought off the beast protecting her two sons, much like the story Jess told before. It's almost exactly what happened. She's out in front of their house with a baby and a six-year-old boy and their family dog. The dog was much smaller, but really go on it and protecting it. beast would get the dog. Sadly, her six-year-old son got taken, but she fought it off and got her son back. Wow. Her courage was known throughout France. She became a real hero. But sadly, despite vanquishing the beast from her property, her six-year-old son ended up dying of his wounds three

days later. The king awarded her 3,000 liveries for her bravery. Oh, wow. But yeah, obviously. 15 years salary. It was no, it didn't make up for losing a son but yeah it was um 15 years out and she still had another son right and a dog was a dog alright the dog survived any parents listening can only make jokes like that because it's hundreds of years ago yeah yeah that's yeah that's it in 15 years I don't have to work for 15 years the weather and the terrain were much more brutal than the father-son combo from Normandy were expecting. They're used to froleting in the sunshine.

They're like, oh, no one told us this big question mark on the map was so hilly. There's a lot of snow around. This is tough. And soon there, bold prediction of Bagging the Beast within a fortnight proved to be super overly optimistic. Oh, no. According to Bresson, it was extremely difficult to hunt on such terrain. The hunter, the Anvil, noted after a first survey of the area that the beast will not be an easy catch.

Going from two weeks, no worries, get the parma ready, get the beer ready to, oh, hang on, this might be tougher than I thought. It's weird that thousands of people have failed over the last year. Yeah, yeah, he's like, but usually I shoot my wolves in a barrel. Where's the wolf barrels? Where's the meat barrel? I've shot over 1,200 of them in a barrel. Yeah, I could.

Easy. I thought this was like a wolf farm, trap farm sort of scenario. What's a wolf in a barrel? What's a wolf barrel? This is going to be tricky. Oh. Wait, I'm going to find this? Oh my God.

Free-range wolf? It could be anywhere. This is ridiculous. Guys, come on. This is so unreasonable. No, I don't know I'm done this. It's out there? Oh, my God.

Okay, well, it could hide then. Good fucking war. Hopeless hero. Hey, I'm going to, why, what? What? Oh my God. That's going to be hard. I don't want, oh.

Yeah, so. What, I'm just going to wander around? He was pretty quickly decided. That's great. Horses could not be used in the swamps, and the creature could easily escape in the forest and high between the rocks. The Cantell massive, with some peaks of over 5,000 feet high, also act as a barrier for clouds,

and the weather of the Jevoudon is notoriously bad, with cold and long winters and wet summers, were already talked about. Various times the animal escaped into the mist or hunters gave up the pursuit due to the heavy rain. Wow. So it's just like, everything was against them. But it's so funny to come to town after people have already been having to go on,

basically like, all right. Where's, point it's in the right direction. Piece of piss. Yeah. So what? There were 17 reported attacks in April and six deaths. Wow. Then there were four more in May.

And in June, there were another four deaths, two of which were decapitations. Some started speculating that there must be more than one beast out there, as the distance between some of the attacks that occurred on the same days was too great, surely, for one beast to... So, you know, they're going, it's a pack of wolves or something else, we don't know. The powers that be were now losing patience with the Normandy hunters. This is their second team they've brought in, and they're like, oh, these guys are no good either. And once again, decided on some fresh blood for their head hunter role. This time, King Louis XVI's own trust.

Godbearer, Francois Antoine got the gig. The 71-year-old was a knight of the Royal and Military Order of St. Louis. Oh, dear. He was joined by his son, Robert Francois, as well as a big team of assistance. His son was only 60. The young man. He brought a huge entourage. These are the best of the best.

These are the royal. You know, they're coming from Versailles, probably, you know? Coming down with all the best gear. Probably everything coated in gold. Yeah. They're good to go. They look beautiful. They look fantastic.

Yeah, it's really nice. They're like, they get down and say, so where's this barrel? Oh. Where's my gold barrel? It took them about two weeks to journey down to the Gévedon, and when they arrived, it was almost exactly a year since the first official death, Jean-Boulet. July passed with more attacks and deaths, but no great breakthroughs by the new hunting team. By then, according to Schwab and Romero,

Schwab. Sorry. Sorry, Schwab. By then, according to Schwab and Romero, one foster young woman took on the beast with her pike and sent it packing. This is probably the third of the real famous incidences. So we had the kids. Then we had the mom and the family pet.

And this is the other one of the big three that still gets talked about. So yeah, I'll let Schwalb and Romero take us through it. One foster young woman took on the beast with her park and sent it packing. On August the 11th, 1765, mid to late morning, a young woman named Marie Jean Valet, 19 or 20 years old, a servant of a clergyman and her sister, Teres, 16 or 17, were crossing the river on their way to the community farm. The beast, lurking in the underbrush along the river banks, spotted the girls and flung itself at Marie Jean.

Marie? Marie. Marie. Marie Jean. Luckily, the sensible young woman had brought along a spoutly. spear, a stick with a bayonet sharp on both sides, about half a foot long and an inch and a half wide, and she used it. Marie-Jean valet impelled the beast with her weapon.

According to the accounts of the incident, Lebert retreated the beast and cried out very loudly and held her poor in front of the wound, then threw herself in the river where she rolled over several times before disappearing. Whoa. So the beast cried out loudly. Yes. What would that sound like? Oh, oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. No. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It sounds like the beast is being played by Jennifer Coolidge. She's a comedy beast. Later, when questioned by authorities, the girls described the beast as being the size of a large farm dog,

which is pretty vague, but also it doesn't sound that big. They didn't say how large? Yeah, that's true. Like a farm dog, but really, really large. Like Great Dane, but are larger than that. Yeah, that's a good point. That's fucking big. The greatest Dane.

They're describing an elephant. Yeah, it's sort of like a large farm dog. Yeah. It was grey with a white chest. Gray? And black back. elephant. Wait, so wait, it's grey, but in the past it's been red. Red with a black striped, or red with a black stripe. Interesting. But this one's grey with a black stripe. Black back.

Grey with a white chest and a black back. Well, the other one did have a, yeah, red back with a black striped. So yeah, it varies. It feels like every eyewitness describes it differently. This sounds more like... Which also makes it sound like it's different animals. This one sounds more like a wolf. Okay. It's gray with a white chest and a black stripe on it. That's That sounds not like a wolf. Its front was bigger than its rear, and it had a big flat head and big teeth. Does that sound like a wolf? Big flat head.

Yeah. I'm thinking it might be a stingray. Great. They're all head. And that's why they're rolling around in the water, so they do. Flopping around. You know snakes are all neck. Yeah.

Sting rays are all head. They're all face. They're big flaties. Wow. Okay. Or it's a pug. Oh, yeah. They got a very flat face.

Stretched out. Flatest. face certain frenchies most frenchies quite flat okay and this is in France right oh my god oh my God it's a French bulldog oh my God it's not a pug dog it's a French bulldog it was right there in front of us all along and if they come in different colors usually because of poor breeding but um I've never said a red one red one with a black strap I haven't seen that but you know this is ages ago and we don't know if it was wearing a jacket exactly they get cold they're not good in the cold The authorities examined Marie Egin's spear and noted that the shaft of the weapon was coated in two to three inches of blood.

The intrepid Jean Marie was an Amazon according to the local press. Another hero. Royal gunbearer Francois Antoine, the 71 year old, was so impressed with her bravery and composure that he called her the second maid of Orleans. John of Barclay. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Joan number two, Electric Buglew.

A secret of the ewes. Jean Valet now has a sculpture commemorating her valour in a windswept churchyard in Uveur in France. Wow. It's a great-looking sculpture as well. Love it. Let me fucking show you. You're just saying she's a hottie? No, just a great-looking sculpture, let me tell you.

Oh, yeah, my, mate. Like she's been chiseled out of stone. Absolute stoner. She's a stone-cold babe. I love it. Oh, that's great. That's really cool. You're seeing the beast in action sort of leaping over her and she's just like absolutely

stabbing it to the chest. Yeah, she looks brave. Her dress is in motion. Yeah, that's very cool. That's awesome. And you see that that's based on the look of the strange beasts is based on a lot of the illustrations at the time. Right, yeah.

Which are all, you know, you see old pictures of animals and they just, some reason, couldn't draw them. It's not quite right. It's so funny. They could draw, they could paint people, but their artists could just like, I don't Yeah, horses were impossible. They kept getting Picasso to draw them or something. They always looked not quite right.

So the new Royal Hunting Party, led by the 71-year-old, wasn't getting on too well with the locals. Though admittedly, the locals didn't really get on great with the first two either. Apparently, firstly, they spoke a different dialect, so they couldn't really communicate with each other. That makes it tricky. They'd come into town and maybe look down a bit on the locals, you know, from the backwater.

We'd come and to save the day, you know, maybe not treating him with a lot of respect. And this new royal hunting party wasn't getting on well with them. On August the 16th at the Forest of Mount Cheveille, two of the Royal Hunting Party wanted to know if they could navigate a certain area on horseback. They're like, guys, we're heading down here to have a look for the beasts. Is that all good to go down on horses?

They asked a local farmer and barman, Jean Chastell and his son's Pierre and Antoine, if it would be possible. The Chastell said they were good to go, even though the error in question was a bog. It was a volcano. So the horseman went down and immediately got stuck. One of the horses reared up, the royal dude got flung into the mud.

They were not happy, pulled out their guns, and took the chastels to jail. Oh, wow. They sent them to jail and they were in there for a few months because they basically was like a little hazing prank for the newbies. And they threw them in prison. Yeah. What a cool reaction. Wow. Guys, we just have fun.

You guys are real cool. The charge, lying about a bog. What is the charge? What are you in for? A lot about a bog. We all did. Yeah. Oh, I killed a guy.

You guys only lied about bogs? The guy that killed a guy gets out way earlier. So the rest of the Royal Hunting Party wasn't getting on that well with the locals. But the leader, the 71-year-old, Francois Antoine, was, he was endearing himself to the locals. and he did it in a way that I think Jess would really appreciate. He organized a fireworks display. Oh, hell yeah. I fucking love fireworks.

You want to see me look like a toddler again? Fireworks. Do you look up in bewilderment? In absolute awe. I love fireworks. That's so good. I love them. There was some, because I can see the MCG from my place

that I sat down the other night and could just see about And I went, ooh! I was home alone. I was home alone. And there was some fireworks. And I went, ooh, and I watched them for a bit. It was so fun. That's sick.

I love fireworks. And imagine if you're in 1765. That would blow you mind. Wouldn't blow your mind. Probably could blow you up. But they probably wouldn't have the ones that go up and they go like, boom. And you go, okay. And then it goes, boom!

And you're like, whoa, you got me. If it falls a line, you go, boring. Oh my God. The Royal Horseman sent him to jail. You tricked me. That's it. That's it, fireworks. That was unfair.

Long about a firework. It's putting a gun out. Come on, come down in a job. He's trying to jail a firework. So he put on this fireworks display and apparently the locals loved it. They were right into it. And he finished with this big sort of triumphant announcement, We will destroy the beast.

And everyone didn't understand what he was saying because it didn't put the same language. Okay, he's yelling something. Okay. You're right, man? Is that all right? I'm just going to go on Pinterest real quick. Look up fireworks tattoos. Oh, that'd be cool.

That'd be sick. That'd actually be sick. If you get the right color, it could look like a rash. Yes. That'd be cool. That'd be really nice. Citing in plain sight. A few days after the fireworks show on August the 28th,

Francoire Antoine's nephew, named Rinkard, killed a big wolf. Again, that to play the waiting game. Was this the beast? They would have to wait and see if the killing ceased. Oh my God, that rhymed. Unfortunately, two deaths in quick succession in mid-September quashed any hopes of this.

Then a huge wolf, another one, was spotted near the Abbey of Shazzoos. Like, you have to hear that what you're doing is just mumbling. That is so offensive to the French, Jess. Shazzoz. Oh, yeah, you're familiar. with this place? You just go deeper and you gesture and you're like, that's French. Doing a bit of French.

This is easy. The Abbey. And then you just continue. We're supposed to just sit here and listen to these mumbles. Sit here and you listen. A listen. Let me let Schwalb and Romero take up the story. Francois, Anton, was the story.

about to find himself in the hunt of his life. The Royal Gunbearer came upon a number of animal trails in the nearby woods. While examining the tracks, he found, at a convergence of several paths, a donkey. Here? No. Can't be, he thought of himself. A wolf. Fifty steps away and closing in.

Sorry, sorry. It was monstrous. Mondeu! Breathe the knight of St. Louis. He scrambled for a gun. And he took aim. Francois Antoine. Used a large calibre duck hunting shotgun, loaded with five charges of

strong powder and 33 buckshot pellets, ranging from four and a half to eight millimeters in diameter. Oh my God, I hope he's aiming the gun the right way. He fired and stumbled back two paces. The gun kicked like a mule. Wildly, he recovered and peered through the gun smoke. The load had hit home. It looked to have gone through the wolf's right eye and into its right side.

Hurrah! But impossible the wolf got to its feet and charged. Tight-lipped, Antoine forced himself to focus. No time to reload. my knife. He felt for at his side. The gap narrowed. Francois Antoine's mind raced. The wolf was 10 steps away. He brought up the gun to club it. Luckily, Rinkard, his nephew, had positioned himself behind the beast and fired. Did he succeed? The white smoke blinded Antoine, who expected the beast to be upon him at any moment. Then he saw the wolf had fallen again. But true to the

stories the peasants told, it was rising once more. No, this terminated wolf. How could this be? Your knife shouted Rincard. But there was no need. The wolf stagged off in a different direction, running crazily for 20 yards, fell and died. Oh! The delighted hunting party contacted the local surgeon who was to complete an autopsy.

The king was determined to know exactly what the animal was. On the first day of October, 1765, Francois Antoine's wolf was presented at the court of King Louis Xteenth in Versailles. Visiting at the time, luckily for us, was a prolific letter writer, Horace Walpole, Earl of Orford, in England.

And I think he's got a... Oresh Weirpah, the heir of Orphage. I think he's got a little resemblance to you, Dave. I don't know, see what you think. Oh, yeah? A little bit of... No. In what...

Young man. Yeah, picture Dave with a wig like that, though. I don't know if you know what Dave looks like. That guy's got a really long face. We both have large foreheads. Okay. Is that what you were getting at, Matt? Hmm.

Okay. Matt, I don't see Dave in that at all. I'm way harder than that guy. You've got a very different physique. This man, he's a real pair. Oh, wow. I wasn't expecting when you scroll from the top. I think that's where I saw the hips, Dave.

He's got your hips. Oh, he's got your hips. I did make, I wrote, I noted that down at about 4 a.m. last night. So. So, but he was there to document. Now it's 12 hours later. I'm going to have to get the listeners opinion on this. Is that, and that's Horace.

That's Horace. That's the Englishman. He's writing letters and stuff. He's there at Versailles. And apparently it's just a prolific letter writer, and historians love him because he documented so many things around. Awesome. That's handy. Here's an excerpt from a letter he wrote on October 3rd, 1765.

In the Queen's antechamber, we foreigners were shown the famous beast of the Gervardin. Just arrived and covered with a cloth, which two-page boys lifted up. It is an absolute wolf. Okay. But uncommonly large, and the expression of agony and fierceness remained strongly imprinted on its dead jaws. So they've got it. It's a wolf. It's a huge wolf.

And they think it's the wolf. They do. And two months went by without attack. Oh my goodness. Could the beast's reign of terror finally be over? Well, this piece was killing. It was attacking like, you know, 10, 15 times a month. Yeah.

To go two months without an attack. Yeah, you'd feel pretty confident. Yeah. Well, unfortunately, no. Seventy two days after the Royal Hunters took down the large wolf, the attacks continued. Oh, my God. In December, multiple attacks occur leading to more death and decapitation. Oh dear.

What? One of the deaths was so grisly that all remained of the victim was their hands. Oh my goodness. Isn't that a full-on image? Yeah. Did you find the body? We found the hands. We found the hands.

According to Joseph A. Williams, writing for history.com, the royal court chose to ignore these new attacks, insisting that Antoine had killed the creature. My man's killed it. I don't know what you're talking about. How to explain these hands? Whatever. So I'm probably already there. It's done, okay? Move on.

Move on. Guys, it's done. It's done. You're embarrassing yourselves. So that's the messaging coming back from the king. It's over. Stop talking to us about it. And Lafant felt conflicted.

Our man Lafant, you know, he's the one who started trying to get this dealt with way back. And he's just like, the king thinks it's dealt with. If I keep going on about how it's not, maybe it will offend the king. seems like he's being a bit like, what do you mean? I've already, I got it sorted. I sent you a guy. Have they paid the reward out too, the 50 years salary? Yeah, I think, I think, yeah, maybe his right-end man got it.

Yeah, the right-in man's like, shut the fuck off. Yeah. I need this. I'm 71. 50-year salary could come in really handy about now. A lot of people might just don't have much in retirement. You know, I'm going to be retiring very comfortably. And on top of this, he didn't really want to keep going on about with the king

because the king was dealing with the death of his son, Louis, who had recently passed away from consumption. I think it was in his mid-30s. Cauden Schwab and Romero, an outspoken area priest, Jean-Baptiste Ollia, wrote many letters trying to convince authorities that the beast was not just a wolf and not the animal that Francois Antoine had destroyed,

but a monster of some kind that was still at large. The lack of response to his missives only served to frustrate the cleric. So he's trying to tell people. going, come on. But everyone's just like, we don't want to, it's over. Move on. The beast had officially been killed already. Somehow though, death's still happening. These attacks continue. And because of this, the documentation isn't as good from this period onwards, because they're like, no, it's already been taught. They're pretending if it's not happening. Yeah, exactly. As far as can be gleaned from the records, the beast seemed to head off for a bit of a break between November,

1766. It's got some annual leave. March 1767. This is like that's through the whole winter time. Maybe it's like, I had a big winter last year. Yeah. I'm going to take it nice and chill this one. Yeah.

Maybe headed off to some sort of tropical island. Yeah, I'm going to go to Mexico. Yeah. To catch up with my mate, target cat. But yeah, after that, after the Sojourn came back with a vengeance for one final killing spree. Oh my goodness, one last job. Yeah. Before retirement.

This bloody period occurred from March the 2nd until June the 18th, when it is believed there were approximately 35 attacks with 15 people losing their lives. Far out. Like I say, there could be more because the records weren't as comprehensive then. That's crazy. According to Boyce and No, with no assistance coming from outside the region, locals took matters into their own hands, an option that may have been wiser from the beginning,

since the previous hunters were unfamiliar with the landscape and had trouble communicating with locals. Her suggestion is, yeah, you were probably, the locals are probably always the best people for the job. We kept getting people from outside and going, oh, this terrain's actually pretty rough. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, what, this? We live here. We live here.

Yeah, we live here. They're like, yeah. So no wonder the locals were sort of frustrated with them. Yeah. And they're all, this is my home. Yeah. The 20-year-old Marquis de Amture decided to organize an impromptu hunt. So he's sort of grown up with it now.

He was 17 or something when it started. Oh, yeah. Now he's 20. He's like, on that night of June the 18th, that was when the last death happened. He's like, that's it. We're going to go get it and we're going to go get it now. It was close to midnight and he got together a group of 12 lot of ladies. Stiphon was there.

Jean-Clau-Vendon-Dainz. Oh, wow. It's the expendable. It's the expendable section. Jet-Lay was there. George Clooney, there's a few oceans there as well. And the 12 included also the Chastell family, who you'd remember, they tricked the horsemen into the bog. They went to prison.

Oh, yeah, love those guys. Lime about the bug. So they were made up a chunk of the group. They searched into the night. The moon had gone down and the sun had come up and long ago, somebody left with the cup, yet there was still no signs of the beast. At dawn, Jean Chastell, the farmer and barman, who sent them into the bog, realized he hadn't done his daily prayers. He's like, I've been hunting all night. I forgot about my prayers.

Oh my God. He suddenly pulled out his prayer book and just standing there in the woods, he started praying doing his daily prayers. Just before he almost finished, he looked up and you wouldn't bloody believe it. There was the beast. The beast was like, thank goodness I left my prayer book somewhere around here. Can I look over your shoulder? Yeah.

Do you mind if I join you in prayer? Apparently, he saw it, then he finished his prayer, put the prayer book back in his pocket. Chastel had come prepared. his gun was a blunderbuss and he loaded up with a random assortment of slugs and nails which I believe were made of silver and cast and blessed by a priest Right, but can you just fill a gun with like lots of shit

And then hope you can put anything you want in a gun Well yeah this is just like shrapnel and stuff And it's just going to spray basically That sounds incredibly dangerous Yeah Or incredibly effective And you I don't know if you know about silver bullets and werewolves, that whole mythology.

This is sort of connected into that a bit, some say. And the priest has blessed them. Yeah, yeah. Which is a bit vampiry as well. There's garlic in there. There's a mirror. Yeah, there's a mirror. A crucifix is in there.

I think I haven't even read that some of the meta was maybe from like a Virgin Mary statue or something, melted down or something. They went fully, you know, as symbolic as they could with this shrapnel. And according to Schwab and Romero, he took up this gun. The beast proceeded on its course, moving fast, winding through the trees. Then it looked up and saw Chastel. They're looking to each other. It came to a stop.

Chastell did not move. Man and menace faced one another. Man and menace. Chastell ticked off all the characteristics of the beast. That's us, Dave. Man and menace. Who am I? Menace.

The immense soul. eyes, the odd colouring, the blazing eyes, like a wolf, and yet not a wolf. He fired, bam, the shot echoed through the woods. It was good. The beast shuddered, as if something possessed it. It stumbled, got up, stumbled again. Chastell waited as the chalky gun smoke cleared. The beast fell. It did not get up again. So, I love how I do love the writing of Schwab and Romero. It was good. It was good. If you're interested in more, highly recommend. I love how he reads in the audio book as well. Hot tip, uh, get on to it. Um, then it got sent for an autopsy, according to Williams. The autopsy revealed human remains inside.

And the animal had non-wolf characteristics as described by witnesses. And then the attacks ended. But while it was assumed that the beast, Chastell Bagg was the beast, doubts remained that it was indeed a wolf. No one has ever been able to settle this. It's a mystery. As to if it was a wolf or something else. And everyone has theories on it. You wouldn't put anything, you could suggest anything, and someone has a theory that that is what it was. It was actually a duck. That one, somebody said that?

Now, yeah. Legend has it apparently, and it's not sure if this happened or not, but apparently Chastell took the body of the beast to Versailles. By the time he got there, it was pretty rank, and the king was like, ugh. No thanks. Thank you. We've already, this is something else, we've already dealt with it. A beautiful gesture.

Yeah, but not for me. I've seen another one before. He's already saying we've already got this sorted out anyway. And then apparently it was interred somewhere on the palace grounds and they've become lost to history. So unfortunately, you know, if they'd kept it somewhere, you know, you stuffed it even and the hide went into a museum, we'd know what it was. But we should just dig up all of a side to try and find it.

Let's do it. Thank you. That's not unreasonable. I don't think that's unreasonable. Shovel by shovel. Destroy those beautiful grounds. I would argue that is reasonable, even. I'd go that far.

Yeah. Until its death, it's estimated the beast had killed at least 100 people and wounded in the vicinity of 300. Wow. It's like 400 victims over a three-year period. Wild. That's incredible. So what exactly was the beast of Gervidon? If you get the book, this part of the book is the final two-thirds where they start going,

here's what we think it could be. We're diving deep into every theory. It's awesome. So obviously I'm not going to go anywhere near in that much detail. I found a great article on History.com by this guy, Williams, and I'm going to let him sort of break it down a little bit. He wrote, The beast was consistently described by eyewitnesses as something other than a typical wolf.

It was as large as a calf or sometimes a horse. Its coat was reddish-gray with a long, strong panther-like tail. The head and legs were short-haired and the color of a deer. It had a black stripe on its back and talons. on its feet. Many drawings of the beast at the time and dealt with lupine characteristics. Which I think is that werewolves or just wolves? Well, it doesn't matter. Witnesses describe the beast as an ambush hunter, which stalked its prey and seized it by the throat. The wounds found on the bodies were typically to the head and limbs, with the remains of 16 victims reportedly

decapitated. The creature proud in the evenings and in the mornings. According to historian Smith, other witnesses claimed the beast had supernatural abilities. It could walk on its hind feet and its hide could repel bullets and it had fire in its eyes and it came back from the dead more than once and had amazing leaping ability. That sounds like. Save the best one to last and it could jump real good. That sounded like a child describing a baddie in a movie. Yeah.

And then they can do this and this and this. So yeah, let's go through some of the suspects as summarized by Joseph A Williams. Historian scientists, pseudoscientists and conspiracy theorists have all proposed theories about what the beast was. Among the suspects, a Eurasian wolf, an armored war dog, a striped hyena, a lion, some kind of prehistoric predator, a werewolf, a dog wolf hybrid, and the most deadly animal of all, the human. Oh, okay. It was a human all along. With talons on its feet. Obviously, the werewolf one is pretty fanciful, but people did, you know, there were reports.

And obviously, there's also thoughts that maybe there was some mass hysteria going on amongst it all, but people are seeing like wolfmen like. wolfman-like creatures in the forest and whatnot. It's also pretty unrealistic that the beast was an extinct prehistoric predator, such as a bear dog, which some people have suggested, but it would have had to have survived millions of years unseen until this point. Well, if they're on a part of the world that's not even on the map, maybe. Yeah. Well, that's true.

And it's described very similar to the bear dog, you know, like the fossils and whatever. They do think they were quite similar. But, yeah, unlikely to make it through those millions of years. is diowulfs another extinct animal and the hyanodon. There's a, which I don't know if it's this one, but there's also people think it's, you know, the whale predecessor, ancestor that was on Earth before they went into the water. Yeah, some people think it's that, like a land whale. And some people think it's a duck.

So what about the possibility of it being a human? Some have suggested that a human serial killer may be responsible for the attacks. Many of the beast victims were reported to be decapitated, something few animals can do. While it's unlikely that a killer would roam about for victims in broad daylight wearing a beacile costume, those who support this theory believe that the human killer used an animal to carry out the crimes. Others do suggest that it was just a person, and maybe even some of the murders, was an opportunistic human killer, you know? I'm trying to take advantage of the hysteria.

But you're saying some people are saying that they trained an animal to kill for them. Yes. And one of the big theories of recent times, and there's been theories ever since, but one, blogger John Lifton summarizes one of them, writing, of late, many people have become increasingly concerned by the involvement of one Jean Chastel. I wonder one of the guys that sent the horses into the bog. Yeah. Jean, a farmer and innkeeper, as we've discussed, and his son, Jean Antoine, have come under suspicion because when both of them were in prison for a period, because their aggressive attitude to the gamekeeper,

the number of attacks by the monster diminished noticeably. Diminished. Yeah, didn't end, diminished. Yeah. I mean, no, none of the theories are definitive by any stretch. Everyone you can undercut. But he goes on to say, it has therefore been put forward that the beast

was the result of John crossing either his own or his son's red-colored mastiff with a wolf and then subsequently training it to kill. Almost all the evidence is circumstantial, but much of it, quite compelling. The creature may have been particularly aggressive hybrid, which they trained to have no fear of humans, but instead to attack and to kill them. Witnesses have said that if its attacks were met with strong resistance, the beast would retreat 50 yards or so, then sit and wait, as if sizing up the situation before finally returning to the fray. And this is apparently trained animal behavior, not wild animal behavior. A wild animal, if it met its match, it would flee for good.

It wouldn't go and have a look. Like, it wouldn't go and sum things up and come back. Oh, right. Right like it's waiting for further instructions. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, and then a lot of people notice a man whispering into its ear. Sort of giving it a shoulder rub. It's like, good boy. Yeah. That's it. You got him. You're tough. You're unbeatable. Go get that kid. Furthermore, witnesses thought that the beast was driven not by hunger, but by its own fury and innate aggressiveness, which we talked about before. According to hunters in the 18th and 19th centuries, crosses between dogs and wolves were invariably very varied in appearance with dark or light tingees, sometimes marked yellow or white stripes like a zebra. This of course agrees with many

of the eyewitness descriptions of the beast. So here there's a lot of people to think this is what it's a crossbreed that's been trained to kill. So it's a human serial killer. using their pet, basically. Wow. It's got a bit of the hounds of the bascabels. It's really sound like the hound of the vascular. Back to Williams. If it was an animal, what animal was it?

Some have speculated there was an armoured war dog, which explains its strange appearance and why it shrugged off musket shots. I'm sure you'll explain to us what an armored war dog is. So apparently Napoleon had him. He'd use them in war. Dogs and some believe that they would wear like an almond coat, basically, bulletproof vest for a dog. and this is what,

so they thought maybe again this could be a human trained dog and this is why it could survive the gunshot wound. They could shoot it a lot, right? Yeah. Or, you know, I'll get knocked down but get up again.

Trouble understale. Striped hyena is another one people talk about. Some depictions of the beast and the animal slain by Chastell suggests it resembled a striped hyena. It's possible that a striped hyena may have been in a person's private holding and then escaped.

Since it was not native to France, it would have appeared unusual, however, striped hyenas are not known at attack humans. They're like, looks like it, but doesn't at all behave like it. Well, the other thing about the theory about Chastell's having trained it, he's the one who ended up killing it. So they're like, maybe that's why he was used to him. So the beast, you know, stopped and didn't an attack and then he killed it sort of to claim the glory. And the cash. And the cash, maybe, yeah.

But was there any cash for the second one? I don't think there was. We already got it. Yeah, that's annoying. You couldn't pay me enough to shoot my dog. Even if I trained him to kill. I can't train him to fucking piss in the right place. I don't know.

The lion theory, apparently Carl Hans Tarky, a biologist who has written a book on the beast, argues that it may have been an immature male lion. Like the hyena, it's possible that a lion escape from captivity. The beast reportedly was an ambush hunter that seized prey by the neck and could possibly decapitate them. A lion, Take argues, could exhibit these predatory behaviors.

Lions have been known to prey upon humans as food sources. Such, there was a famous case of the lions in Savo in which a lion pair killed over 130 victims in under a year. Another supporting fact is that the territory of the beast at roughly 56 by 50 miles aligns with a lion's typical range. Eyewitnesses in France at the time were likely not familiar with lions. and what they did know about them came from very stylized imagery. So maybe a line to them could have been the beast that they described.

And a sub-addle, like a younger male line doesn't have the main and that sort of stuff and can have like a Mohawk stripe running down its back, which matches some of these eyewitness accounts. Right. And then, as you might remember, our man Dohamel thought the father of the beast was a lion. And he may, you know, so maybe he was on the right track there. Maybe the mother was a lion as well. Maybe it was just a lion.

People have also suggested baboons. What? Yeah. I'm sorry, pardon. Baboons. But yeah. And not just one, but multiple, like in a lion. Tape together.

Yes. No, baboons, they look a bit, they've got a bit of a dog-like face. Yeah. You see some of them, they kind of look like lions and they run on all fours. And then obviously the wolf, that's the big. one. Among the theories considered most credible is that wolves perpetuated the attacks. As historian, J.M. Smith tells the Smithsonian, Giverdon had a serious wolf infestation, and he believes that large lone wolves were attacking

individual communities across the region, or that it was one wolf pack. Wolves are native to the region and had attacked humans before, despite, you know, recent North American studies saying that it was very rare. Some statistics show that wolves attacked humans 9,000 times in France between the 17th and 19th centuries. That's a lot. That is a lot. Yeah. In most cases, these types of attacks were by rabid wolves, though. And obviously, they can only, they only tend to live for seven days. So it'd be very unlikely. And then also, uh, another flaw in that theory is that if they did have rabies, the people they attacked would have got rabies and that, that didn't happen.

Yeah. Although there are strong voices arguing multiple theories about the identity of the beast of the gervidon, all admit that the truth will never be fully known. Without any genetic or forensic evidence, The beast of the Jevodon is bound to remain a mystery forever. Wow. But, oh, I didn't write this down. But you know how you're talking about the bishop? Yeah. Yeah.

He died like that week. No. If he was involved somehow, what are the odds of that? Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. I reckon it sounds like it was the Bish. I think we've just blown this case.

Why don't do you? It died that week and his body was taken to Versailles and the king was like, I don't want this. Stop bringing me dead shit. This is gross. Stop it Why are you like cats bringing in dead birds I don't want to see this stuff This is gross

I thought I could I finish with one last thing This is about Charles Dickens I think you're familiar with his work English writer He wrote about the beast in an 1858 Issue of his magazine called Household Words Wow And it seems that he

Mainly did this to mock the French And the beast itself From the safe distance of 600 miles away And 100 years Yeah it's tough now hundred years away. He published a letter in this issue, suggesting that if the beast had been in England, it would have only survived as long as six weeks. And that would only be so they can enjoy hunting it multiple times before finishing it off. All right, big man. All right, big man. Then he wrote,

so that was a letter he published, and then he wrote this himself. He was doubtless a terrible creature to behold. But if he at all resembled the portrait of him, which was sent in April 1765, he must have been a creature rather to kill you with laughter than with his teeth and claws. The animal is, in truth, a most ridiculous monster. Indeed, one that Trinculo of Shakespeare's The Tempest, I'm saying that right? Would have jeered at as a very weak monster, a most poor credulous monster, a puppy-headed monster, a most scurvy monster. Indeed, the jester could hardly have it upon any phrase of absurdity whereby to load him with contempt as he stands, his curling tail, trailing on. on the ground with ponderous head and cropped ears, with his mouth filled with enormous

teeth wide open, as if he were catching flies, with his small, sleepy eyes, and with the most good nature's expression on his foolish face. Pretty tough words from Chuck Edeed. Charles, come on, a hundred people died. Is this a laughing matter? Do you hear us laughing at all over the last three hours? I don't think so. This is the picture he was referring to. That is pretty funny. That is pretty funny. That looks like, that's dumb. It looks like, kind of like a hyena slash mongoose and it's wearing those sort of novelty teeth. Yes, yeah. Like this shoved in novelty dentures.

Yeah, almost like one of those Muppets. Who's that Muppet with those teeth? You know, this Teeth Muppet? Anyway, that's the end of my report. Any theories before we? Yeah, Dr. Teeth. Any theories? We think in the bishop.

I've said Bishop. Locking in Bishop. Or duck. You're sticking with Duck. Oh, I actually think it was a duck in collaboration with the Bish. Right. I'm not ruling out mole people. Oh, yes.

You never can. That's the thing. I'm sure that that. That's discussed on the Reddit boards, small people. It's got to be. Yes, apologies if that was a bit epic. I don't have no idea how long that went for, but it feels like maybe weeks. We are over three hours here.

Great way, which is only a few episodes have been reserved for the three hour plus report. So, well done. And we know that that was a beast that you wrestled with into the early hours of this morning. And it made a lot more sense than we were expecting. Congratulations. It was funny. I amused myself when I said to you last week that I was. I was working on a real beast of a report.

You had no idea. We didn't get it. I got you so good. I feel so stupid. You're bad, I got you. You think you know someone. You can't trust anybody these days. You looked foolish.

Yeah, I feel foolish. That's great. That's such a cool story, obviously. Me getting you at the beast. Yeah, yeah, of course. But I'm amazed that I've never heard of that in any way. I love it. Amazing.

Because it's one of those ones you hear so many of these stories of each country. country's got their beast, whatever it is. But usually two people have seen it. Yes. Midnight, 200 years ago, whatever. But this one, clearly something killed 100 people. Yeah. And it was documented, like, for the most part, super well.

A lot of detail. Yeah. A lot of correspondence. What do you think? Do you think it is just a wolf? Oh, man. I mean, it makes some sense, because the variations in what they thought it was, you know, like, yeah, different.

wolves or maybe it was a hyena working in with a wolf who was being trained by this chastell character okay okay yeah yeah yeah i'm liking this and follow i have no idea but you know i i went through all thoughts i'm like one of the weird things to me was about women and children that feels like a human would make those distinctions why would a beast be choosing those in particular great question yeah um so i yeah i just i just don't know um maybe it's just was just opportunity maybe all the men were working indoors at that time. Yeah. Cowards.

Typical. Yeah. Well, maybe it was just picking off smaller people, you know? Yeah, I guess that, you know. Generally speaking, women are smaller men, maybe, I don't know. And then your kids out on their own in the paddock, you think this is an easier picking. Yeah. So, those kids that fought off badass.

So badass, my favorite. And the cows. I reckon that were the quiet heroes of this whole thing. I loved it. And also that poor sheep that they dressed up as Madeline. It's such a funny image. That guy who was just like, and then you cover that in grease, and then honey, he's like, oh, sorry, I'm giving you a recipe for glazed ham.

Sorry, I was doing two things at once, and I... But if you follow that recipe, you will get a fantastic ham. Well, I think that brings us to everyone's favourite section of the show, where we thank a few of a great Patreon supporters. They voted on this topic, and there's a bunch of other things if you get involved at patreon.com slash do-go-on pod. You get three bonus episodes a month. Soon, perhaps to be four bonus episodes a month, if we roll.

reach our target. Yeah, we're rocketing towards our Patreon goal. I think we've hit the 90% mark. And if we get there, we have said that we will get a fourth bonus episode a month. So basically, you know, two episodes a week we're putting out. Four on the Patreon per month, including the fourth one will be our Dungeons and Dragons campaign. Do Go D&D. Dungeon and Drag-on.

Few suggestions have been coming through. We appreciate those names. Still feel like we haven't settled on one yet, so keep them coming. Yeah, it's almost like we've got too many options. Yes, that's so overwhelming. One of them are stand down above the rest because they're all bad. But some of them are too, honestly, some of them are too good. Yeah, yeah, I think that's fair to say.

And yeah, there's a bunch of other rewards you can get access into the nicest corner of the internet. So many great things. Sophie Shooter in there, our Facebook group, Mum, she organized all these great swaps. We're doing a T-shirt one at the moment. You know what? I didn't realize. We're allowed to be involved in them. I'm doing the T-shirt swap this time.

Awesome. So I'm going to be stressing about picking the perfect t-shirt for my... It's got like an all-year-round Chris Kringle kind of vibe. Yeah. Yeah, paired up with someone in there by a random number generator. And you're sending a t-shirt or a snack or depending on which one it is somewhere across the other side of the world. Love it. That is awesome.

A lot of great stuff in there. But one of the things we do is a section called the fact quote or question section. I think it adds a jingle. Go somewhere like this. Fact quote or questions. He always remembers the ding. She always remembers the jing, Google. And what do you call that?

The thing you did there was fantastic. Sing? Sing. And also remembered the sing. To get involved with this, sign up at the Sydney-Shaunberg level or above. And you get to give us a factor, quote, or question, or a bragg or suggestion, or really whatever you like. You also get to give yourself a title.

And I should warn you, I read these out for the first time when I'm reading them out. So in case I stuff anything up, don't blame me. Okay. The first one here comes from Gaddy J from the UK, who's given himself the title, Daddy Daycare. And he's offered us a fact with a sort of brag writing, this is a long story, sorry. I'm so proud to have supported this pod at the Sydney-Shaunberg level for so long, but I'm going to have to drop my patron level for a year. Me and Nat went through IVF for years and no good.

Then we started the adoption process. Now, after over two years of training, social worker meetings and panels to decide if we're good enough, were being paired with a little girl. Congratulations, Daddy James! That's huge! Congratulations. Both of you, fantastic. That's amazing.

Wow. Lucky kid. He continues, I'm going to be taking the year off work to be the main. carer so I'm not going to be able to bring in as much money but I still need to stay on the bonus episodes plus Facebook group aka the kindness corner of the internet level I need all that in my life still. Oh that more important now than ever the community you're going to be asking questions like does this look right? Yeah. Just pictures of the kid. Yeah. Is this like is this right? Should I be doing this? That is amazing. That is the best news I've heard for a long time. Yeah.

Jay, or Gaddy Jay, finishes by saying thank you to you three and this whole community slash family. No, I'm not crying. You are. Tata for now. Familiar. Love that, Gadi J. Congratulations. Great news.

So lovely. Love it. That's awesome news. The next one comes from Amy Clark, aka Brigadier General, forgettable name. Brigadee. Brigadee. Brigadee general forgettable name. Amy is asking.

A question writing. Amy Clark is a vanilla name. It's a forgettable name. Already forgotten it. What was it? Who cares? Briggad deer. Brick a deer.

Amy Clark just joking. Amy also takes those fantastic snow photos. Oh, yes. You love the snow photos. She actually lives in the Scotland of France of Canada, I think. The community. So confused. Dave just rolled his eyes.

No, as in like, I was trying to calculate what you meant. I was like, oh. Oh, don't calculate it. Cannot compute. Cannot compute. So Amy Clark asked a question writing. The community you three have created as a delightful companion to this award-winning podcast is something to celebrate. Love that. I'm not sure we've won any awards, but still.

Award-nominated. Exactly. Hey, you've got to be in it to win it. And while I'm very much, oh, hang on, this podcast has won a bunch of Golden Shiny Gary's. You're right. This is the most Golden China Gary Award a podcast in history. Yeah, so I think it's fair to say that. Thank you.

You're right. Sorry. And the awards we made up, of course. And what, I mean, all awards are made up. Damn it. These ones I always find slightly awkward to read out. It's like, now let's spend a bit of time reading out nice things about us. I'm here for it. Well, you're not reading it.

I guess you're just listening, which sounds pretty good. Amy continues, and while I'm very much looking forward to the North American tour and hopefully my own future trips to Australia, a question occurred to me last night as I was laying in bed unable to sleep. What is the possible potential possibility of possibly arranging a do-go-on cruise? Oh, Dave, this is... I've legitimately thought about it before. I mean, it's such a, it's a great fun idea.

I think it would be a do-go-on dingy. I don't know if we're going to fill a cruise. Generally, thought about, you know how sometimes they do, like, they even do, you know, a comedy cruise, kiss-cruise, or, like, they started doing, like, punk rock cruises. Oh, different kind of cruises. Because you can't just get little boats into a boost cruise. Vodka cruises.

Top cruise. Tom Cruise. We just do it. My favorite cruise of old Tom. Chaplaps. Sorry. What do we? Chapp laps.

That doesn't make sense to anybody outside of Melbourne, and I will not exploit. You know how they do those cruises, and they've even done like some pop-punk cruises, like, headlined by Blint 102 and like some 41 stuff go on there, and then you get a couple thousand people that just love that kind of thing? I was like, what have we did a podcast cruise with us and a bunch of other pods, and it's just pod people on the cruise? Oh, my God. of Jess's face. I'm just, yeah. Sorry, Jess is seasick that day. I do get so seasick and I'm also an big old introvert.

It's just a lot. But what you like is being trapped. I do, actually. I find that very comforting, yes. But the, don't worry, Jess, I had this idea before COVID and then everyone really went off cruise ships for a long time there. Which means they'll be cheaper now. Jess, I know how we can sweat in the deal.

We get you your own tugboat. I was literally. As soon as he said Cruz, I was like, there'd have to be a tugboat involved. So each day you perform, we tug you on and tug you off. Is that what we're saying? Cheeky. Bit chooky. Bit of fun there.

That is wildly inappropriate. I'm sorry, was there a double meaning to what I said? I'm sorry? Amy continues on. Maybe it's a huge no-no, no-go in this post-pandemic world. But God damn, if we could just ignore all that for a moment and all imagine the camaraderie and hilarity that would ensue. I think it's a beautiful new patron aspirational goal.

That would be so fun. And they do do like short-term, like cruises that are only like three or four days. Yeah, I think it would be like two nights, three nights or something. Yeah, perfect. Like in Melbourne, they sometimes do comedy cruises where, you know, you get on there and Pete Rosedorn and people like that are performing comedy all weekend. Just give me my own room to go and recharge in. We'll give you the captain's quarters.

Oh! What about the captain? Does that mean I have to drive the boat too? Yes, I'm afraid so. We're cutting costs. You're going to have to do double shift. But we will end up having a disaster that can be an extra report in the future. Oh, yeah, that'd be really handy.

Creating our own content. That's good. It would be like easier on the research because we just, we know it. Eyewitness accounts. No other podcast has covered it yet. Yeah. We've got the exclusivity. So Amy finishes by saying a Patreon stretch goal is still a thing anymore.

They're not. They don't let us do them anymore. but we have, we're doing our own one for the D&D fourth bonus podcast a month. But, you know, maybe the cruise can go on there next. And we call the cruise ship the barge. The barge. Shake it out into international waters. Amy finished by saying.

Yes. I still don't know who Christopher is. You've got to get on board. The barge. The browse on the barge. I reckon if you, if we were out there with Christaberg and there was a Titanic situation, and just grab one to one of his eyebrows and you'll be whisked to safety, a life brow. Oh, those brows aren't sinking.

His name's Chris Davison. Oh, don't tell me that. No, has he made up his last name? Don't tell me that. Is he made up DeBurge? No, professionally is Chris DeBerg. What? That's not his name.

Did you come here today to ruin a dream? Yes. Why did he choose that name? What? Oh, because it's the best name ever. Chris DeBerg. Chris DeBerg. Amy finishes by saying

Thanks for the uplifting content You three make sure that gets to us All every single week Thank you so much Amy Clark Appreciate you Deberg is his mother's maiden name Oh great

So there's a reason for So it's okay Deberg Deberg Next one comes from Travis Corbell A.K. Waste Management Consultant And there's a question here writing

What would your extremely specialised role in your 15 to 20 person bank ice crew B. The pace split will be awful, but the real treasure is the friends we make along the way. I would be... I love it how people answer their questions on the house phone, and he does so writing,

I would be the light foot for when we need someone to cartoonishly sneak past two guards who are bantering about people they see on the security cameras. A very important role. That's very important. I'm not a good lightfoot creeper, so I would never put my hand up for that role. I think I'd be the one creating a distraction.

You know, I'd be there going, door to door, pots and pants, housemen. Oh my God, a full. Oh, God, what am I done? Oh, God, what am I done? Ping pong, ping, ping pong. Oh, I'm so sorry. Let me collect my ping pong.

Oh, I'm tripped again. Picking and pung and a pinging. Not again. I'm so sorry. Anyway, do you cook? And I'm a ping pong, ping, sorry. So sorry. And then he's here in your ear

Okay, we're in I go, sorry, thank you everybody And then I'm now just accidentally Don't ping pong The whole way down the street And the guys The guys have never even said a word They didn't answer you at all

Yeah, that's weird That was a bit strange, anyway Back to laughing at the security camera person That seems to be some sort of a loop What about you, Bob? Oh yeah I was going to say I'd be a distraction as well Just because the woman always is

Oh, okay. I'd just go in there and flirt with somebody. Hey, big boy. We're doing, me and Dave are doing, we're competing to this like, oh, I'm working here. Dave's, I'm working in short shorts in a low cut top and he's sitting on a desk. Hey, big boy. But then meanwhile, while you're dropping pots of pants and you're flirting with big boy, I'm doing backflips in the background. I'm crawling through the airmen.

We can see you behind them doing the flips. We all climb an equals split. I'm hanging from the roof. Dave's going, oh, la, la. My God, do you ever use that gun? Oh, it's awfully hot in here, don't you think? At the Natural History Museum. What are we stealing?

Big dinosaur bone. Is that a big dinosaur bone in your pocket or you just happen to see me? Great question, Travis. That's a great question. We all this team together for the distraction. I love it. And the final one this week comes from Tessa Chilcott, aka asset manager, no qualifications, just in case. Just because it's Tessa backwards.

Love that. Oh, good one. Tessa is a real nice. And Tessa is also asking your questions writing, who is your favourite Disney character? I'm on night shift. I can't be expected to be creative, so she hasn't answered her own question, but I appreciate that. It's okay. I know if Evan Munner-Smith was here, he would say Andy from Toy Story.

Oh, God. What a copy. That's his answer to every question. Who's your favourite? I'll stop you right there. Andy from Toy Story. He's going to say ice cream flavour. I stand by my statement.

Yeah. Ooh. Okay. Disney. We go on classic Disney or are we including Pixar and stuff? Yeah. Like, can I say I love piglet from Winnie the Pooh? Yeah.

Piglet's got a great vibe. You got a bit of piglet about you. Very positive energy. But also... You're a little pig. Yeah. Seems a little bit wussy, but sometimes. brave when he needs to be.

I've never seen you be brave. Have you ever, there's a couple of stories where piglets are like, oh, I know, on Saturday Disney. Oh, sorry,

me. Yeah. I'm waiting for my piglet moment. Thank you. Oh, this nickname quickly stuck. I've never seen piglet be brave. Oh,

not that piglet. I literally said I've never seen you be brave and he immediately just went, oh, no, there's a couple of stories. I thought you said Picklet as well. What's the question?

Is it what's the favorite? Favorite Disney character. Oh. When Saturday Disney was on when I was a kid, It always ended with Winnie the poo and I was like, ugh. Yeah. Oh, I didn't like the poo. I don't know.

Now looking bad, it's probably one of the better shows, but yeah. He's never liked poo, Matt. That's true. I remember in Duck Tales, I liked that Robo Duck, whatever he was, Gizmo or something. I never watched Robo. Ducktails. Ah, I don't know. That's tough.

Duffy's pretty good. Or so you're on Classic Disney. I think I'm going to go with Classic Disney. Yeah, you've gone pretty classic as well. Jasmine's pretty good character from Aladdin. The Tiger in Aladdin. Oh, yeah, good one. The genie and Aladdin.

The genie. Oh, the genie is pretty great. Real scene stealer. I actually think Will Smith did a good job. Yeah, that was a good remake. No, I would go for Repunzel. Oh, yeah. Okay.

That Daniel Golden. Yeah. And Flynn Rider. Rapunzel is my... Who's Flynn Ryder? He's a Disney prince. Oh. Is that a modern one or is that an old one?

That's the modern one. Oh, yeah, right. From Tangled. Tangled. I don't know if I've said, oh no, you've got to watch Tangled. Maybe I can't remember. I'm sure as a kid I watched the old one. Mandy Moore.

Oh, wow. Really good stuff. I didn't know that. Love Tangled. Yeah, that's my profile on Disney Plus is I'm Rapunzel. Let down the Golden Her. Oh. Well, actually, my favorite Disney character is probably Principal Skinner.

I can. That's right. Disney bought the Simpsons. All right. If that's the case, I'm going on Lionel Hunts. That is actually my favorite. Oh, really? It's so good.

Thank you so much for that great question. Tessa. Yeah, good one. I'd like to know what other people's like, because there's obviously so many. Oh, there's millions. I'm sure there's something that I'm not even thinking of that I go. Yes.

Tessa, get that and go on in the Facebook chat if you're in there, as in a thread in there. If you want it. No pressure. No pressure. Just it'll be fun. It'll be fun. Sometimes I'm like, we really should do these fat quota question questions in the Facebook

Patreon group, but I always forget to do. Yeah, some awesome questions. Especially because we sometimes record a week or so in advance. But if anyone, someone should kick that off if they want any of those questions we just answered. The other thing we like to do is thank a few of our other great patron supporters. Jess, you know, we come up with a bit of a game based on the topic at hand? I do, don't I? Maybe what, you know, what animal or whatever they, their theory? Oh, put two animals together to make their beast. Oh, good one. So like this.

And maybe I'll kick us off first. Yes. Love to. All right. I'll do the name and then you say an animal each. Okay, yeah, great. Nice and easy. That way, we also all get a turn of just getting to read a name. Yeah. And I just having a bit of a. A freaking break for us. Oh, you're always got to be coming up with something. I've been thinking all day. Okay, I'm going, okay, okay. First up, I love to think.

Clear your mind, Dave. Clear your mind. Doreen. From Doreen in the Australian Capital Territory, it's Ethan and Ash. Crabb whale. Ooh. We both meant aquatic. Yes, that's good.

One teeny tiny, one huge. Yeah, so somewhere between, it's just like medium. Yeah, it's a medium crab whale. That's a big whale. But it's a real fucking big crab. Yeah, it's a big crab. That is a big crab. You know what I mean?

But a small whale? It's all relative. I'd also love to thank from Los Angeles, Lala Land itself, Eugene Flewellyn Williams, the fifth. My goodness. The fifth. Keep that going. All right, Jess. You say something here.

Okay. Kangaroo. Frog. Oh, a couple of hoppers. Yeah. They're hopping mad. We are very sympathetico today. This is good.

And finally, for me, I'd love to thank from Levittown in Pennsylvania. It's Jessica Story. Okay. Pelican. Liabird. Oh. Bird on bird action. How are we doing this?

Oh my God. Should we get married? I think it's the only option now. My turn. Jess, David. Oh, combining those two in holy matrimony. A pelican lion lion bird, though. Yeah, that's great.

I love a lie bird. Two of my favorite birds together at last. Could I thank some people as well? Yeah, I'd love it if you did. No, do you have more? Do you have more? No, I did three. Okay, fantastic.

You do three. Okay. I would love to thank from Lexington, K-Y? Kentucky. Kentucky. We got a couple. Do we have somebody else from Kentucky? No.

But Lexington, Kentucky, I'm pretty sure it's featured in previous episodes. Yeah. Well. Maybe the transi book heist. From that beautiful town. I would. I would love to thank bingus. Oh, bingus.

I can't help but say bear. Yack. Bear yak. Bear yack. Or a yak bear bear. That is my kind of animal, I gotta tell you. That is a thick, chunky beast. Not a lot of neck.

No, I love it. And you like, no neck. That might be one of the best animals ever, a bear yak. That's great. Holy shit. Holy well. I would also have to thank from deep within the fortress of the malls. We can only assume.

Location unknown. There. It's been a really long day. I would love to thank Nathan G. Nathan G. The octopus. Horse. Oh, eight legs.

If it's on land, but it has eight legs and the movement of an octopus, but the speed of a horse. That's unstoppable. And also, octopus, very intelligent. Yeah. Yeah.

That's an unstoppable animal. Whoa. That's a great combo. Good job. It still has the big horse dick, but it squirts ink. Just is moving on over there. I miss a horse dick.

Got it. Don't worry about it. You didn't even hear what he said. You just looked up and knew from his face. I reckon he just talked about a horse stick. He's regretting this. I would finally love to thank from Lannon in Great Britain.

Rianid Owen. What about, you go first? Okay. Hawk. Platipus. Oh, that is also, I love platypus. It was a platoose, sorry. And I don't know if I like, I don't mind a hawk.

Yeah. Hongs are pretty cool. Horks are cool. It's a great word, hawk. A platypus already is, seems like a combination of a few animals. Yes. The flying ability, that's amazing. They did think platypus, like when they just

discovered a pletful, so like, this is a prank. Yeah, when they send them to the UK, apparently they're like, all right, very good. We get it. While they're being, they're believing something that is like an obvious prank. They're like, oh, we're not going to fall for that. Anyway, let's put this dinosaur back together and they're putting it with its, you know, the tail is it's dick or something.

That looks about right to me. She's gone dick again. Yeah, he's got dick on the frame. All right, Dave, bring it home, Matt. You and I, sync up. Here we go. I would like to thank from McDowell in Queensland. Big shout out to Courtney Lamb.

Okay. Let's see whether it sounds just as mine. I cannot shake a lamb out of my head. Okay, come on. Trying to get a sheep out. Camel. Toe. To be fair, we were trying to sink up, but I thought so.

I'm like, I'm not going to think of anything until she said something and then I'll just say something. Did you say tow or toad? Toad. Toad. Cattle toad. Cable toad. Sorry, I thought you were, I was like, that's fucking clever, man. Yes, it was.

It was very clever. Yeah, and I was saying, yes, I was thinking toad also. Good one, everyone. Great stuff. We are all very smart. Well, let's see if we have similar things. I'm going to fully blank the mind. Yeah, I'm going to like.

Go off whatever. Just say the first thing that comes to mind. I'd like to thank from San Francisco and California, I believe they call it the city. It is Ian Knight. Ian Knight. Blanking out, blanket. Firefly. Snah.

Snaw. Snow. Snail? Snail. Firefly, snail. But as we call them in Australia, snail. It's a soft accent.

Snow. Snow. Firefly, snail. That actually does sound like an American-do-an-Australian accent. Snar. Even a snail could light up like a firefly. That would look so cool. And also a bit spooky.

Yeah. Because I don't want to know where they are. Jess, I have not been good at that. Should we switch? And I'll go first for this last one. Okay, sure. See if you can say an animal. All right.

Any animal. Let's try. Good on your Ian Knight. And finally for me, I would like to thank from Newport in Oregon. It is. John, Kilcreece. Wombat. Oh.

Beaver elephant. Elephant. Wombat beaver elephant. Wow. Three together. Yeah. And the gas is pungent. It just said say an animal.

And I was like, I'm going to do these. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to do a fart noise because I can. Thank you so much for all your support. John Ian Courtney, Renad, Nathan Bingus, Jessica, Eugene, Ethan and Ash. Bingus is great. The last thing we need to do is welcome a few people into the Triptitch Club, which Dave explains so well. Basically, what we've got here is a Hall of Fame that we induct to the people that have been on the shout-out level or above for three consecutive years.

We've already given them a shout-out and a nickname or something, but to enshrine them forever because they stay true and have been hanged with us for so long. We induct them to the Hall of Fame, which is like a clubhouse, a theatre of a theatre of a honour. the mind thing that we've got with food and drinks and live music and once you're in, you can never leave, but why would you want to? Also, there's an official tattoo. Oh. It's fireworks. Oh, yeah, I looked up.

They look pretty shit. Oh, no. They would be hard to capture. Yeah, hard to capture. One day in the future, they're getting better. Yeah. Like doing real intricate stuff. I'm one that's essentially a giff.

I saw it. Of just fireworks going off. Oh, that'd be cool. So a friend's one, new one recently. I'm like, that was not possible five years ago. Like the detail, the fine lines that they're able to get in. It's amazing how quickly tattoo tech is coming along. Pretty cool.

And, yeah, Jess, you normally, wait, how much of you explained of this, Dave? I just said that we, what we do here, but Jess is in charge of the food and drink I mentioned. Every week, she brings in new, new cocktail, new bit of food. What we got, what we got. French martinis. One of my favourites, actually. That's a great drink. Fantastic, a martini.

Vodka, sham board, pineapple juice, delicious. Oh, yes, actually, please. That does sound good. And then some French food, like French onion soup and snails and crapes. Oh, man. So nothing gross this week. And I'm not getting any praise. You did say snails.

Okay, true. Yeah, no, I forgot about that. That's a delicacy, though. Oh, yeah. I will not be partaking. Dave, you normally book a band? Yeah, you're never going to believe it. You know, I always book these months, if not years in advance of the people of this caliber.

But I have booked somehow a French band, air. Whoa. Oh. Deo from... Sexy boys. Is that them? And they're from Versailles. And they are for a sexy boy.

What? So is there like a village at Vesara City? I just thought it was a... Yeah, yeah, it's not that far outside of Paris. For some reason, I just thought that was the name of the palace itself. There's the palace, but then there is also a town around it, yeah. Yeah, awesome. Yeah, I didn't know.

Am I thinking of the right band? Sexy Boy or whatever is good? That is their song, yes. That's their one song. That's their first big song. single that put them onto their, uh, onto the world stage and now here they are to perform it live, it's here. Oh, I can't believe you got them.

That's what we're saying later on. I can't think of the song. I'm trying to find it. Yes, that's it. Oh, sexy boy. That one. It is noted for allowing the band and French dance music more generally to break through to British and American markets.

Oh, Darth punk came in their slipstream. Maybe they would have definitely been active. They did what? They're active by 1998. Hmm. And they have air to thank for it. So is there anything else to do apart from me read out these names? No, I think we're ready to go.

I'm standing on the door, lifting the velvet rope. I'm going to read out six inductees names right now. Dave's on the stage. He's the MC. He's hyping up. He does this for a living. You could go to a TV taping in Melbourne, and he is there hyping up crowds. To be fair, I don't usually hear what people's names are and then do a little joke about that name.

To be fair. Well, how do you warm up your TV? I would say that's only an exclusive thing to our podcast. Oh, wow, okay. I'm going to read out these names, Dave. Are you ready? Or Jess also helps Dave out because he, you know, gets a bit sensitive. I often give him constructive criticism and Jess needs to boost him up again because he takes it a bit hard sometimes.

Are we ready to go? Absolutely. Okay. Here we go. First up, I'd love to thank from Address Unknown. Can only assume from deep within the fortress of the moulds, it's deck. Deck the Hall. Do you think it's Anten Deck, Deck?

Yes. Probably. And where is Ant? Where is he? Where's his support? Unbelievable. He's not in the club and it's finally good to get dead away from Anne. No, but we'll feel really bad if Ant joins the trip to club like next week.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know, so don't talk too much trash. I'd also love to welcome in from Winston Salem in North Carolina home of those plants that chumped down on flies. Venus fly traps. It's Tim Dolan. Keep Tim Dolan, Dolan, Dolan, Dolan, Dolan. Tim Dolan dolan dole and dole and dole what Tim say what I'd also love to welcome in from cross church in New Zealand it's whitangy Narrymoo thank cross church it's whitangy narimoo

from Beeston in Great Britain it's I think our podcast librarian it's Rachel Jarrett they're a beast we're talking about beast this week that feels appropriate Rachel Jarrett we think you're the best the beast you're the best you're the beston from The Beston from Beeston, Rachel, Rachel. Love hanging out with you, Rachel, when David and I were in town last year. When I say town, I mean, Great Britain. You're talking to you in a few places. From Devon Park in South Australia, welcome in Mikey Overdune. This is a long overduean. Please welcome Mikey Overdewan.

That's so good. And finally, from, oh my. E, is that, what am I guessing? Estonia. Oh, Tallinn is Estonia. Yes, my goodness. And finally, from Tallinn in Estonia, it's Abraham Ifert. I hope I'm not being too Ifert.

Please, welcome. Abraham. Overt. Sounds a bit like overt. So you might have gone some tower type one because it's almost like awful. Oh, right, gotcha. But that, what you did was equally baffling. Welcome.

Thanks, Abraham. Abraham. No, no. Abraham LinkedIn. Join Abraham LinkedIn. What are you talking? No, that's good stuff. No, it's not.

Abraham Lincoln. That's terrible. LinkedIn. No. Remember when Jess did it recently and she made it look good? Me and you were no good at this. Why doesn't Jess do it? I'm not doing it.

What would you do with Abraham Eiffurt? I'd say, hello. So let's keep it at Dave. Stay, Ifeert and not alarmed. It's not even an Eiffet to welcome you in. See, I'll tell you. Give it the jest. That is the best one.

That's the best one easy. That's the only one that didn't need an explanation. Welcome, into the club and make yourselves at home. Abraham, Mikey, Rachel, Waitangi, Tim and Dek. And fuck you in. Nah, good on you. Good on you, Anne. No, good on you.

Oh, good on you. Now that brings to the end of the episode. Anything we need to tell people before we go, Bob? They can suggest a topic at do go onpod.com. Honestly, if you've listened to this far, maybe buy yourself a treat, you've earned it. Well done. And epic, and we appreciate you listening right through to the end. If you are, why don't you just give us the secret signal,

and then we'll know that you'll see this way. And you can follow us on social media as well at Do Go On Pod across Facebook, Instagram, probably TikTok. I don't know, I haven't logged in for ages. I can only assume we have millions of followers on there. Well, I haven't checked, so yes, it's like stroding as listeners. Get on there because we are going to start filming episodes, and I'm sure we'll be putting little clips up on there.

Absolutely. Okay, we'll be back next week with a new. another, I can only assume classic episode, but until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening and goodbye.

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