Do Go On - 41 - Olympics Special!

Episode Date: August 3, 2016

Unless you've been living under a rock (or just don't care about the Olympics) you would know that the Rio 2016 Olympic Games are just TWO DAYS AWAY! So this week the Do Go On team have joined forces to present one OLYMPIC sized episode, presenting the stories of some of our favourite Olympians!Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. And welcome to a very special edition of Do Go On. I am a special boy, Dave Warnocky, and I'm here with my special friends, Jess Perkins, and Matt Stewart. Hello, special team. Hello, special boy.

Hey, I feel special. I hope you do. Why is this special? Well, we are doing a very special episode. I may as well say it right at the top. We are doing an Olympic special this week, guys. Wow. We are doing an Olympic special.

because the day this episode comes out, we are just two days away from the amazing opening ceremony, the Rio 2016 Summer Olympics. Will it match the 2000 Sydney Olympic opening ceremony that just spoke at length about? In my heart, no, nothing ever will. But every time they say, surely this is the best opening ceremony.

You know they always say that? No, they still say about Sydney. They still say it about Sydney. Anyway. You think they all suck? What about when they came out with a thousand horses? What about when John Farnham and Olivia Newton-John sang Dare to Dream? I mean, I'm not sure that was a heartbreaking moment.

When they came out with six thousand hills hoists. Anyway, I'll cry again. What famous Rio duo will be? I've been missing a strawberry cusson. Also, the birth of... Nothing as sweet. The test still drives me crazy. For international listeners,

seriously, do yourself a favour. Listen, yeah, look up Nikki Webster. And my nipples. That's right. You called your nipple, strawberry kisses. Gross. So, anyway. We just a couple of days from the biggest event on the sporting calendar.

Only happens once every four years. Like Matt getting laid. Oh, the biggest event. Every four years. Only two days, Matt. That was a private matter, Jeff. I know you told me that in confidence, but it's a weird arrangement.

that you have. Yes. And I felt the listeners needed to know. Sure. I mean, if you think that'd be interested, then... I think they're interesting. Matt is counting down the hours. Oh, gross.

Anyway, let's get into it. But you got you guys, are you excited about the Olympics? I like the Olympics. No. No, not at all. Not in any way. Are you seriously? You don't like it at all?

You don't watch it? The events? When I was a kid, I did. You like sport. I would have thought you'd be right into it. Like real sport. What's not real about the Olympics? It's the biggest...

A lot of silly. I think you're just being purposefully the one who's disagreeing. I think that's what, I think you're just trying to put in a bit of... Do you think I'm playing devil's advocate? I think you're playing bad cop. I think you're playing bad cop. I'll say some sports and you tell me if you think they're real sport. Yeah, good.

It's great. Field hockey. No. High jump? No. Volleyball. No. Shooting?

No. With a pistol. Come on. No. No. Okay. Basketball. Basketball?

basketball is a sport Great, but Where's the butt in that? Well, I mean, the NBA's The height, that's the pinnacle of basketball No one gives a shit about Olympics Basketballers. Okay, sell that to an Olympic basketballer.

Water polo? It's really, that's a good sport. Okay, I've got one. Gymnastics. I love seeing those horses under the water. Oh, God. Like drowning horses. Badminton.

Yeah, yeah. Surely you're on board with a bit of badminton. Shuttlecock. You're in for that? Look, that's a silly sport. That's just like weird tennis. Ping pong. Yeah, table tennis, talking about...

Table tennis, but miniature. Table tennis is kind of cool. Like small things. Synchronized swimming. Oh, I mean, you're taking the piss now. Like, you are proving my point. That's dancing in the water. It's water dancing.

But at the same time. The things that are... I mean... There are a few things in the Olympics that are cool. And I said field hockey, no. Field hockey is one of the cool ones. I said no, just because I couldn't open with a yes. Well, I tried to make you.

But like, you know, the 100 metre sprint's pretty cool. Yeah, what about swimming? Some of the swimming stuff can be all right. 200 meter breaststroke. Yeah, it's all fine. It just feels a little bit. It's all pretty silly. I love it and I hate it.

I love it. Whatever, you're right. I was just trying to be bad cop. I don't have an opinion. Well, I hope you're up for... It's just annoying that they're doing it in the middle of footy season. Jesus. Have some respect for the real football.

The real sport. Well, we are doing an Olympic special this week to celebrate the games just because it only happens once every four years. We thought we'd jump on the bandwagon because I got an email a few weeks ago from one of our listeners, Andrew. We got an email. Okay, just because you were the one who checked. I'm going to have a check the email. You check the email. Yes, I'm the email master.

That sounds way cool than it is. That is so big. It does sound very cool. So Andrew Eamold is saying With the Olympics coming up I wanted to recommend looking at One of my favourite Olympic athletes Wow

And he said And then I thought Oh that'd be That's really really cool And I looked into his favorite One of his favorite One of his favorite Olympic athletes Who I'm going to talk about

And I thought Oh that's great But I feel like we could probably talk about a few Olympic athletes And then I thought that maybe We could all do one each Go around the table Yeah Do three mini

three mini episodes in one where we talk about a famous Olympic athlete. No, thank you. No, thanks for the offer, though. Yeah, that's a nice idea, but, no, Matt and I prefer it when you talk, and we sit back quietly. Yeah, is that cool? That all right? Thank you. About as cool as badminton.

Pretty cool, then. Pretty cool, exactly, exactly, exactly. So, no, you're just joshing me, because everyone, we have all written a report. Yeah, we bloody joshed out. Got it. That's the real Olympic sport, am I right? Joshin. Bloody Joshin with your mates.

God, we'd be the bloody world champs, hey? Relay team over here, Joshin with your mates. Yeah. And I'm having a bit of a Josh and I throw it over to Matt. Hey, you guys are no good. Nah, just Josh and you're all right. Dave. I'm better at breaststroke than Joshing.

No, I'm just tricking. Yay! Yeah, he's the best Josh. Yeah, because that. My middle name was nearly Josh, but they said James. David Josh is a silly name. David Josh. It's a funny bit if my name was David Josh and we joked about James, you'd be like, that's the worst name ever.

But David, it would be Joshua, surely, not David Josh. That just sounds so silly. David Josh. David Josh Horneke. It sounds like a... It's kind of like Jess can't be a middle name, you know? Rachel, Jess, Smith. Yeah, you don't shorten middle names, that's why.

It's just weird. It's a weird thing to do. Matthew... But Jess is a name. name. Matthew Dave Stewart. David Matt Warnocky. David, Dave Warnocky.

No, we thought David wasn't enough. We wanted to honour. I'm not even named after anyone. But you guys generally like the Olympics? No, genuinely fun. Yeah, I love watching the Olympics. Probably the time that I watched the most sport in that four year period. Right.

Yeah, any events in particular? I like the swimming. We're talking about this. I like watching the sports. gymnastics. Yeah, gymnastics is really, really cool. Just because, but I tend to watch it like, ugh, oh, no, because I'm so convinced

they're going to hurt themselves. Oh, I kind of enjoy it when they fuck up a little bit. It makes it seem a lot harder. Do you not think, if one of them falls off, you think, oh, actually, it's probably pretty hard. No, but when I played basketball as a teenager, I sprained my ankle many, many times. Like, just my left one, I sprained nine times.

So now when I watch other people, like, play sports and stuff, I get, like, what I call post-traumatic stress? We're like, I'm watching them. I'm like, oh, God, I can feel it. You were only eight sprained ankles away from making the Olympic squad. What could have been? What could have been? Sprang your ankle once.

They'll take you on. Second time? Shame on you. Shame on you. You are out of this squad. Third time, maybe pick a different sport. Yeah, come on. Nine fucking times.

Nine times. That's just the left one. The right one was about four or five as well. At that point, like find an indoor activity, you know? Your foot would just be flip. and flopping and it just be dangling. I can't walk. Chica, chica, chica, chica, chica, chica, chikik, chik, chik, chik, chik, chik, chik, chli.

Flopping and flopping. And the hip and the hoppin. All right, so who's going to kick it off then with it? Well, I think I'm going to kick it off by talking about the one that Andrew has suggested. Cool. And I'm just going to ask you straight off the bat here. My question is simply, have you heard of the long distance runner, Emil Zato Peck? No.

JP? JP, you have? I have. Very cool, very cool. I have heard of. You have heard of Amel Zetopec, who is a long-distance runner, and I'm going to give a bit of background and then talk about his Olympic Feats. Awesome. And his records, Feets F-W-T-S, because he's a runner, get it?

To start the report, man. Born in Czechoslovakia in 1922, Amil... Yeah, it was 1922. 22, Czechoslovakia. She? Amil Zatapak, she was the sixth. Count them, one, two, three, four, five, six. Child in a modest family.

Do that in Czechoslovakian, though. One. For a second there, I believed I could speak, Jack. I really honestly thought that... It was like, have I told this story in the podcast where I went to Mass? I've never been to really church. You know, I went to Mass on Christmas. I've never done that before in Paris when I happened to be there on Christmas

Day, which was a cool experience, but after two hours of them speaking French, I mean I understanding a word, we'd stand up every few minutes and they'd sing the songs in French and that was fine because it's the same tune for hymns, the famous ones, the Christmas carols. And on the way out, the priest is shaking everyone's hand and saying, thanks for coming, thanks for coming. And he says something to, I don't know, I guess that's what he's saying, he says something to me in French. And I don't want to make him really, that I've sat there for two hours, not understanding anything he said. So I remember I made this noise. I just went, bo-boom.

And just kept walking. I just kept walking. Just get walking. Does that sound a little French? Maybe he'd be like, oh, he said something to me. I must have misheard of. Buh-boom. Oh, it's so silly.

That feels. That's a real, you know that people talk about the curb your enthusiasm? I don't know. Bada, Bada, bauda, bauda, bf. Bum. Bum. That sounds like

someone pretending to be a drum. Buh, boom. It does. Buh, boom. Bac. Did you know any words? You knew thank you or something. Bonjour. He was like, thank you for coming.

Hello. Merry Christmas. Just like. Amen, Jesus Christ. Our Lord and Savior. You would have known. You don't know, mercy? Mercy?

Merci. Merci. Thank you. Merci, much. I honestly, I just, I panicked. I panicked. Boom, boom. Hello.

Yeah, I hope you, I hope you enjoyed the service. Hello. Dearie me. My French knowledge would have been very handy as well. Thank you for coming Merry Christmas. My name is Jess. I'm a bell Jess. All right, so...

Hello. We're with our main man, Amil Zatopek in Czechoslovakia, the sixth child in a modest family. Sixth. That's right. Don't count them. Don't count them.

At age 16, Emil began working in a shoe factory. Runners use shoes. So this is good start. Okay. All right. I see where you're going. Later on, when he asked how he got into running,

he said, One day the factory sports coach, I don't know why the shoe factory has a sports coach, but they do. My job has a sports coach. They come in and, that's their full-time job. It's to whip you into shape. Calls into sports coach. Just quick, we're hitting the volleyball court in two minutes.

All right, I'll be there, sports coach. Hold the calls. One day the factory sports coach who was very strict, pointed at four boys, including me, and ordered us to run in a race. I protested that I was weak and not fit to run, but the coach sent me for a physical exam. The factory has a big budget for this.

The doctor said I was perfectly well. So I had to run. And when I got started, I felt I wanted to win. But I only came in second. That was the way it started. So that race had 100 people in it. So coming in second is actually quite amazing, considering he didn't even want to do it. And he didn't think he could run.

He thought he was too weak and sickly. He came second. So he wanted to run now. So he joined the local athletic club where he would develop his own training program. I don't know why you join the club and then develop your own program. Modelled on what he had read about the great finish runner, Parvo Nirmie. And when I say great, I mean unbelievably great. This is guy, have you heard of Parvon Nomi?

No. He set 22 official world records, distances between 1,500 metres and 20 kilometres. He won nine gold, three silver medals in his 12 events at the Olympic Games. He once won the 5,000 metre and the 1,500 metres on the same day. That's... What? That sounds really good. He set Olympic records in both.

So that's his hero. Nicknamed the Flying Finn. This guy, Parvo. He always run with his own stopwatch and his hands. We could check at what time he was sitting. Oh man, that's great. I reckon I've heard of the Flying Finn. The Flying Finn.

Yeah, that rings a bell. Or maybe just sounds cool. It does sound pretty sick. So, influenced by his hero, the Flying Finn, Zatapak developed his own style, which experts to write it at first, but within a few years, most of the world's top distance runners were using

versions of the Zato Peck method. Oh, oh, you run the Zatopec? Oh, that is cool. I also runs a Zatopek. Oh, we are Zatopek run. It's very cool. I don't know what accent there is, so it's not offensive. Exactly.

That was for a matter of space. Zatorek found, too, that regular training offered a form of escape from the oppression of Nazi occupation. Oh, your mates. No. But at this time in the 1940s, when he's training,

Nazis are occupying Czechoslovak. This was not a great time for the locals. So to escape from it, began to train with levels of obsession and invention that no one had contemplated before. That's kind of cool. He was like, oh, does work harder? So just four years after starting his training in 1944, Amil Zatapak broke the Czechoslovak records for the 2000, 3,000 and 5,000 meters. Wow. At the end of the war, he joined the Czechoslovak army and he continued to train.

So he was in the army, but then they let him go and do his training. I think mainly because they were impressed with how fucking how dedicated he was. It's funny that someone had to come up with that, work harder. Yeah, no. No one's ever thought about this before, but I think it was just absolute crazy obsession. By this time, he developed an rather odd running style, which was very distinctive. Well, Jess is flailing your arms about, but it is actually a lot like that. So it was at odds with what's considered effective style at the time, and probably since,

because his head would often roll around. His face contorted with effort while he's torso swung from side to side. Do videos of this exist? You can see videos of it, yeah. He often weased and panted audibly while running. Like, seriously, you know how people do the make fun of the tennis players now? He was like that, but running for 10,000 meters. He earned the nicknamed Emil the Terrible, or the...

The Czech Locomotive. That's so great. He was described at the time by the press at... Everybody's doing a brand new dance now. Emil, baby. Do the Czech locomotive! Great. At the time the press described him variously, yes.

He runs like a man who has just been stabbed in the heart. Oh, boy. Or he runs as if there was a scorpion in each of his shoes. That one makes more sense because you would sort of be like, oh, oh, oh, but if you'd just have been stabbed in the heart, I don't think you'd be running. But no one had contemplated putting a scorpion in the shoe before. Hello.

Perhaps that was the secret. Very smart. When asked about why he did this, he said, I am not talented enough to run and smile at the same time. Sure. Okay. So he was a wit. Yes.

Well, he was asked about his tortured facial expressions. He said, it isn't gymnastics or figure skating, you know. What? Oh, cop that. Cop that. I guess. Hitler. What do you mean?

Like, you have to look good doing gymnastics. Yeah, so in gymnastics and figure skating, you get greater. On your face? Well, it's all part of the, yeah. They grade you on your face. You do get graded on it. You're supposed to make it look easy. The easier you make it look, that's why they look so funny.

You don't have to make running. You know, when they're gymnast lands. Yeah, the dismount. And then they're panting, but they're also smiling. It's like, having a great time. That is so weird. What a weird thing. This is the Olympics.

That's the Olympics. We're still talking about the Olympics. It's just weird. Olympics is a weird thing. I love weird. I love weird. So his training was really weird. He would train in any weather, including snow,

and would often do so whilst wearing heavy work boots, as opposed to special running shoes. Have they made a movie about this guy? Not that I've come across. They should. So he would wear these running boots because it would make the normal shoes seem easier to run in. Yeah, sure.

And when he was in the snow, he would put on three tracksuits. Fair enough. Run around the snow. Sometimes one track suit, not enough. That's my rule. Three track suits. See, I just get too hot. Yeah, surely the running will warm you up.

Yeah, just put on your shorts. Come on a meal. The Czech locomotive. Sartrepec was selected for the Czechoslovak national team for the 1946 championships, or European championships in Oslo and Norway, but only managed to finish fifth in the 5,000 meters. He did, however, break his own Czech record.

So he's doing well, best in the country, but in Europe, fifth best. Which is still pretty good. So he trained even harder. A couple of years later, his first Olympics were in London, 1948 when he was 26 years old. Wow. The government didn't, so the government's quite oppressive at the time.

They didn't want him to participate in the opening ceremony in case it made him tired. Aw. So he temporarily walked his way into the Danish team in order so he could join the parade. Oh, yeah, that'd be so much fun. It's a real character. I mean, it's the worst part of the ceremony to watch because it goes for 17 fucking years. Do you watch it? No.

I love their outfit. You flick across or have you taped it? Well, let's say, for example, because it's usually overseas, so it's a weird time here, so we might tape it. Right. And then I'd watch it, and I'd fast forward that bit, and I'd get to Australia. And I'd go, yay! Oh, you'd watch the Australian team.

And then I'd fast forward. Okay. Oh, I love the outfit, especially, you know, some of the stuff from the island nations or from Africa, they're always wear these really cool stuff. And ours are always terrible. It's kind of embarrassing. They're so bad. It is funny like it's on purpose almost.

But I reckon you, it's the worst job to get, I reckon. Whatever you do, the shy media is just going to give you shit. It is. It makes them look good. That's not that hard. I reckon they're fine. Like, who cares anyway? A few of them have been pretty terrible.

It's a green and gold track suit. Oh, yeah, I reckon that's about right? No, but like... Oh, but no, honestly, that's not what I would have done. All right. Just Perkins has got an opinion. Everyone shut up for a second. Let's hear about fashion Easter over here.

What has she got to say? I would have done it to golden green. For shame. Cop that, Jess. I don't know where that came from. No, you look good. I like that scarf you're wearing. Thanks, mate.

Sorry, everybody. So he's at the Olympics, 1948. He won the 10,000 metre gold medal. 10,000 metres is so far. So far. 10,000 meters. What's that 10Ks? I'm running that soon.

Are you? Yeah. What do you mean soon? What for? Fun run? 10Ker. Nothing fun about a run. No, I did a 5K, that was enough.

I have not trained for it. It's not going to be good. It's not going to be fun at all. I've got some... Pay attention to this story, Matt. Zatopec, he finished second in the 5,000 metres, which was run during a rainstorm, which you think he'd be pretty used to

because he runs in the snow. So he gets a gold medal and silver medal. The following year, he really stepped it up and broke the 10,000 meter world record twice. Is he broke the record and then he broke his own record? Oh, that's cool. You'd like to be like, suck it, past me.

And over the next four running seasons, he did it three more time, so he just kept improving his own record. You're kidding. He set records into 5,000 metres, 20,000 meters, how far someone can run in one hour, 25,000 meters, 30,000 meters. He won the 5,000, 10,000 at the 9,050 European Championship

and the 10,000 meter at the next European Championship. So he's winning a lot. But his most successful Olympic Games is the next one, 1952 in Helsinki. Zatopec won gold in the 5,000 metres. So he didn't win that one last time. His victory this time came after a ferocious last lap

in under a minute, during which he went from fourth place to first in the final turn. No. So he just got there. In the last 200 metres. His wife, Dana Zatopovov. Dana Zatokulva, who was born on the same day and the same year as her husband, exactly the same age. Oh, that's kind of cute.

She won a gold medal in the javelin throw. Oh, she was an Olympia too! Only a few moments after he won the five-for-war. And I don't know if you know this at the Olympics, obviously they run the 10,000 meters on the track and they did the javelin in the middle. So he's running laps around her while she's getting her own gold medal. Oh, my, that's so cute. He also won gold in the 10,000 meters. So bang, he's done the double, right?

incredible. He's got two gold medals. But his greatest feat came as a last-minute decision. He decided to... Try synchronized swimming. That's good. He decided... Because that happens like it's a school carnival. It's like someone's just dropped out of an event.

Can anyone fill in for this? It'd be so good if the Olympics was like that. Well, back in 1952 it was because he decided at the last minute to run in the marathon. What? He had never run a marathon in his life. He was like, I've got two gold. medals. That's like,

I'll give her the go. They're not 42Ks, yeah. So his event, his biggest event at the Olympics is 10,000 meters, right? A marathon is 42,195 meters. So it's like doing four of those things again, much, much longer.

He's already tired and he hasn't trained at all. Oh my God, I know what he's going to do. But his strategy for the marathon was simple. He just raced alongside Jim Peters, who's a British guy. Jimmy Peters. who was the world record holder at the time.

So he's like, I'll just keep up with this guy. He knows what he's doing. That's smart. See, that's smart. People don't think like that. If you want to be the best at something, just run next to the person who's already the best at it. And then at the end, just go a little bit quicker. Yeah, like, say, kick him in the dick.

See you later, PD. Woo! If you want to start a really popular social media website, just run next to old mate Zuckerberg. I'm not sure. And then at the last possible second. Kick him in the dick. Kick him in the dick. A run across the finish long.

Yeah. Collect your billion dollar check. Just steal. Probably just steal. Why aren't more people successful with this basic advice, you know? Well, Matt, you could do this. We've never given it before, probably. Are you planning now to run alongside the winner of this 10-kilometer race?

You're doing, Matt. Yeah, I'm just going to run alongside the winner. I'll tell you the rest of the strategy is. So he's running alongside the world record holder. Never run a marathon before ever. After a punishing first 15 kilometres, so already further than he's ever run properly, in which Peter's new he had overtaxed himself. Emil asked the Englishman

what he thought of the race thus far Hey, how do you think we're doing? The astonished Peters told the check that the pace was, quote, too slow in an attempt to a psych out and slip up Zadipek. So he's like, I've been running faster than I've ever run before or tell him I'm running slow and that'll psych him out. He's pushed himself.

He's already... He's like, I've gone too hard to... I've gone too hard, I'm going to psych him out. Oh, it's just, yeah, we're running too slow to be honest I reckon I'm under my best time. At which point Zartopek responded, by simply accelerating. You're kidding.

As Sartipik entered the stadium in first place, 70,000 people chanted his name with such spine-tingling unanimity. That's a hard way. Chanted his name in such a spine-tingling way that one British journalist described it as, quote, the greatest happening in athletics history. At that moment, recalled Juan Antonio,

the future president, one Antonio Samaranch, a future president of the IOC International Olympic Committee. He said, at that moment, I understood what the Olympic spirit means. Peter's... Someone winning a race. Peter's, the world record holder. No, it's fucking inspiring. Yeah, yeah, the guy, he ran really fast.

I'm inspired. Jim Peters did not even finish the race. Zatapak won the race and set an Olympic record. Fuck off. He's never run a marathon. He's incredible. Incredible. I love that. He's like, so, how are we doing, Pedy Boy? Yeah, how are you? Oh, no, we're going too slow.

Oh, are we? Oh, shit. Okay, see ya. I'm going to run. Are you going to run? Hey, keep up. Jim, you're going to run faster too? No, the 25 to go, Jimmy. Jim? Jim? Jim's dead, you guys. died of a heart attack. Not long after that. Well, Jim did nearly die. A couple years later, in 1954, the Vancouver Commonwealth Games. He reached the stadium in first place, 17 minutes ahead of the next runner, 10 minutes ahead of the record.

But he collapsed repeatedly and failed to finish. Oh, that sucks. In 11 minutes, he staggered only 200 meters. Oh, my God. He collapsed. He was stretched it off and never raced again. He said later on, I was lucky not to have died that day. That is incredible.

He was so... 10 minutes under the world record. Oh, my God. He's doing the last lap and he can't do it. I imagine. So Jimmy Peters pushed himself a lot. Zartapak, so now he's won three gold medals. He attempted to defend his marathon gold medal at the next Olympics.

However, is it the Melbourne Olympics? Not there 556. However, he suffered a groin injury while training so bad he was hospital. Because somebody kicked him in the dick. Well, yes. Yeah, well, his hospitalised for six weeks. It was a big kick. Made two mistakes there.

First, he was kicked in the dick. And the secondly, he trained for the marathon. Yeah, don't train. Surely you'd keep up a good thing. Don't train. Just win it. Sadly, he resumed training after leaving the hospital the day after leaving but never quite regained his form.

He only finished six in the marathon and he retired from competition in 1957, age 35. Wow. In 1966, he gave one of his gold medals to the legendary Australian runner Ron Clark, who was, despite sending over, I think, two dozen world records himself, he never won an Olympic gold medal. So Zadipk gave it to him because he was a hero for him. Very sadly for Zatapak in the 1960s. sees he stood up to the Communist Party in charge in an event known as the Prague Spring.

He was stripped of his rank and expelled from the army and the party which he'd been serving. And he was very dedicated to the Communist Party, but he stood up to them. They removed all important positions from him, and he was forced to work in in a string of inferior and dangerous positions, like mining and digging holes and pretty awful stuff. And for a time, all of his records and existence were stripped completely from the books. So he acted like he never existed. His image was rehabilitated by the Czech President Vaclav Havel in the early 1990s.

So he regained his fame. Wow, like quite a while later. A long time later, nearly 30 years, no, 25 years later. And he died in the year 2000, age 78. Wow. In 2013, the editors at Runner's World magazine, they like running, selected him as the greatest. And the worlds. Well, they suspected him as the greatest runner of all time.

Wow. He remains the only person ever to win the 5,000, 10,000 and marathon at the same Olympics. That's incredible. He ran all three events in just eight days. He ran a long way. In 2012, he was named among the first 12 athletes to be inducted into the IAAF International Association of Athletics Federation's Hall of Fame. Other people inducted include Carl Lewis, Australian Betty Cuthbert, Jesse Owens, and Zartepec's hero, the Flying Finn. Parvo Nermi.

Awesome. So there you go. What a cool dude. What a cool dude. What a cool dude. That is really fascinating. So I hope I did justice to Andrew, one of his favorite athletes. So that's one athlete down.

We've got two to go here, people. Well, what's really interesting is that we probably should have discussed this in more detail because mine... We don't know who we're going to talk about, by the way, I should say. We just... Have you also picked him... When I asked you, have you heard of Emile's artifact? Is that because you've written a 30-minute report on them? I haven't done a report on him.

I have done a report on an Australian at a similar time. Ronald Clark? No, who was inspired by your mate. So, I'll just get stuck into it. So it's like the 4x100. I'm passing the baton. You are passing the baton and I gratefully accept the baton. So I...

It's weird not starting with a question. Do I need... Go on ask a question. Have you heard of John Landy? Yes. Dave. Yes, but I don't know why, to be honest. Okay.

Was it a big thing with Ron Clark? Yes. I've heard a little bit about this. John Landy is an Australian, so he was born in Melbourne in 1930. Cool. He went to Malvern Memorial Grammar School, which is now part of Corfield Grammar and Geelong Grammar School, and he graduated from Melbourne University in 1954, receiving a Bachelor of Agricultural Science. Oh, he knows a thing or two about.

plans, does he? No, he was a thing or two. Now, he became a serious runner during his uni years, and he joined the Geelong Guild Athletic Club in 1949. And he was a member of the Australian Olympic team at both the 1952 Summer Olympics in Helsinki and the 56 Summer Olympics here in Melbourne. Oh, so he would have seen Zubber. Similar times, yeah, exactly.

He actually took the Olympic oath at the 1956 Olympics in Melbourne. You know how there's always, like, one person who takes the oath? On behalf of all athletes. All of athletes. So it was John Landy at 56 in Melbourne, here in Melbs. That's a real honour. Isn't it? And it was John Landy, which is pretty cool.

Now, the point, I've always really liked the story of John Landy, and it's not even necessarily about, like, he was obviously a very talented runner, and that will become apparent. But his story is more of, like, incredible sportsmanship and just human spirit, and that's why I really like this story. Is that when you truly understood the Olympic spirit?

Yeah, it is. And that's why I enjoy the Olympics. And maybe Matt, after this, maybe you too. Or melt your cold, cold heart. Maybe you can enjoy the Olympics after this. And you can salute Queen Elizabeth II, as we all should. So on the 21st of June in 1954, at an international meet in Finland, John Landy became the second man only after a guy called Roger Bannister

to achieve a sub four-minute mile. Ah, yes. I heard of that. A four-minute mile. Recording a world record time of 3 minutes 57.9 seconds, which was rounded up to 3 minutes 58 seconds, because of the rounding rules that were in effect at the time. So three minutes...

Three minutes 58 and he ran a mile. Why are they bloody rounding it up? I know the answer. Yeah, hey, we all know that you ran 3 minutes 57.5.67. But... Just to be safe. It's just easier to put it on the board. We've only got so much chalk.

Yeah. My wrist hurts. I'll just write an eight. Eight's a hard in chalk. Can I just say... I'll just say... Let's just say you did it in zero. I was right, draw a tick.

I'll just draw a tick. I just, yep, Dick. Did it. Take your certificate and move on. Fuck off. How about everyone gets an Olympic medal? That's much easier. Yeah, I'm into this.

Yeah, that would be okay, wouldn't it? If we all got one, then it wouldn't matter. Yeah, no, okay, there it is. There's the point, yeah, it wouldn't matter. So, yeah, he broke the record, and that record was held for more than three years. Internationally, he's probably best known for his part in a mile race in the 1954 Commonwealth Games in Vancouver, which you were mentioning before as well, because you're... That's right, they're all the same era.

They're all the same there. He ran his second sub four-minute mile in the race, but lost to Roger Bannister, who had his best time ever. And this meeting of the world's two fastest milers was called... It had a few different names. They called it... Oh, I hope it rhymes. Me too. The rumble in the mile.

The trundle in the... They're pretty dramatic names. We've got the Miracle Mile. Oh, that's good. Or the race of the century. I like that. But there's a lot of the centuries, isn't it? And the dream race.

Dream race kind of sounds a bit racist, doesn't it? The dream? Yeah, the master race. Yeah, that sounds wrong. Of those, I think I like a miracle mile. Anyway, what's, do you like, I think you liked race of the century the most, Matt. Yeah. I mean, they're all a little bit kind of, they just sound a bit like they were made by a machine, you know?

There's no personality. or any of them. They also sound a bit cold. What would you call it? So you've got two of the best mile runners. I really like rumble in the jungle type of thing. Uh-huh. So what about, and where were they?

Vancouver. Is that like a jungle or? No. What is it? That's like a Canada. It's like a Canada. Okay, let's say, and what's another way of saying running race? Sprint.

Sprint. Sprint, well, that's not a sprint, is it? What about this? The long distance race in Canada. I like it. Yeah. What about trial of the mile? Oh yeah, see there's like a rhyme there.

That's good. Trial of the mile. That's pretty good. Hashtag. Hashtag trial of the mile. Get a telephone and dial a mile. Dial a mile. While everyone else is running somewhere around a mile.

What about the mile that takes less than a while? Oh, that's, yeah, that's better. Have you two thought about careers in advertising? I think so. I think I've got a gift. I can't already do work in it, yeah. Do you? Yeah, all right, I want some ads.

Wow, I'd hate to be the sad loser acting in those ads. It's me. Okay, so yeah, so everybody, there's a lot of buildup around this race, the miracle mile, the race of the Century of the Dream race. It was heard over the radio. by 100 million people. They're still running. They're still running.

Yep, they're still running. Okay, well, that's why you can't be a good commentator, okay? Now, it'd be more like this. And here they go, they're running, and here they're keeping on going. Here they go, they're running and they're running. And one of them is ahead of the other. I can't quite see. We don't have the technology.

We're a long way. But they're running and they're running. They're a bit out of sight now, but we'd like to assume that they are still running. They are running a race of their lives. Here they go running and running Running with their legs And all of their legs are running Here they're running now

They're straight out of them run run Run run and you run And running up the run Run run run And here we run You haven't even done a minute It's a four minute race And oh my goodness

They do they run Yes yes they do They run and they run And off they run and they're still running and et cetera. What's that? They stopped running. Just getting, they're still running.

Four minutes of that. That's exhausting, but 100 million people listened, so. Wow, Matt. And you're listening, and you're listening as they're running. It was seen on TV as well, because, yeah, it was seen on television. I almost need to tell you. You can see it for yourself. There they are.

Running away, running away from the person behind and towards the person in front, unless you're the leader then just running into the bloody distance there into the space The abyss Yeah I didn't mean to stop here I was just trying to run in

No no if you wanted to butt in No that was just someone turning the radio off I'll just tune in in about three minutes 50 seconds You can just let me know who wins this Anyway the final The famous moment I should say Of this race was on the final turn of the last lap

Landy looked over his left shoulder just to see what's going on behind him because he's sort of in the lead. Oh, he's winning. He looks over his left shoulder, right as Roger Bannister passed him on the right. So he sort of did like a... So he looked to his left.

I'm all good. Oh, that's good! Oh, shoot! I wish that slow-mo replays of him going, I'm cool. I'm not cool at all! Yeah, well, unfortunately, they just did not have that sort of technology for slow-moes.

Well, I will be reenacting. Internal monologues. But there's actually a bronze sculpture of the two men at this exact moment as Landy sort of looks over his left shoulder and Bannister passes him on the right. It was created by a Vancouver sculptor called Jack Harmon in 1967. And it stood for many years at the entrance to the Empire Stadium in Vancouver, which is now no longer there, so the statue's been moved. But the statue still exists.

How about outlive the stadium? Yeah. It was like a really famous moment in both of their careers. So Roger Bannister, did you win? Yes. Oh. That's okay. That's all right.

It's not over. Are you telling the story of a loser? Oh, fuck, both of you. David just told this story about this guy, just won everything. And you've brought a story of a loser? Can I go on, please? I'm sure, if you want to, but it's like a bit of a waste of time. Okay, so Dave's mate won every single race diddy, because I remember he'd be fifth.

He came fifth, and I was low. Okay, so coming bloody... And then he came back, he trained. Yeah, so give Landy a chance to come back. Oh, okay, yeah. Thank you. So that's... So that's how John Land is...

Can I just say, Jess, not only to people tell it to me straight. And what you did there showed a lot of Moxie. You've got the job. Yay! You can be in one of my crappy commercials. I can't wait. So that race at the Commonwealth Games in Vancouver is kind of how he's known internationally. But in Australia, he's remembered for his performance in the 1500 metre final at the 56 Australian National Champions, just

prior championships just prior to the Melbourne Olympic Games. So just before? Just before the Olympic Games. So to tell this story, I found a piece written by Harry Gordon. It was written in 2004. And he knows or has known John Landy for a very long time. So I really like this whole article is really, really nice. So I'm just going to read part of it now, like most of it.

Anyway. And it says a lot about John Landy's character as well, which is sort of the whole point of why he's so famous in Australia. So it starts with this. It says to John Landy, it was an unfortunate accident, a diversion, really, and certainly not an important event in his running career. He was never allowed to forget it, though, and reckons that it came to haunt the rest of his life.

A lot of people seem to think it was the most significant thing I ever did in running, he has said. It wasn't, but the press grabbed it and made it look that way. The incident in question occurred at Olympic Park, Melbourne, on March 11, 1956, during the Australian Mile Championship. Diversion or not, it was named at the end of 19. 1999 by the Sport Australia Hall of Fame as the nation's finest sporting moment of the 20th century. Wow.

Yeah. And it has been commemorated by a larger-than-life sculpture called sportsmanship erected directly across the road from Olympic Park. God, this guy's sculpted everywhere. It's kind of cool. So what actually happened? It all began when Ron Clark, who you mentioned. Ronnie. World record holder, never got the gold medal, but my man, Zadipak gave him a gold.

The youngster who would one day hold every word record from, every world record from. world record from two miles to 20 kilometres. Wow. Came a cropper. God, I love Australians. Came a cropper. So he's stacked. He's stacked.

I was going to say Matt needs to translate that. He fell over. You know what? The next sentence explains it. So as Clark crashed down after clipping another competitor's heels, Landy, who was very close behind, leaped desperately to clear his body. So he's jumped over him.

Just because, like, he instinct just to jump. Oh, I've got to something's in my way. So he jumps. But he doesn't quite manage to clear him and his spikes land on the inside of Clark's arm. Oh, that sounds painful. Right. So Landy pulled up, and while with other runners streaming past him,

Landy took the time to trot back to Clark, who was still on the ground, and check how badly heard he was. And yes, he also apologized. Sorry, Pat. Sorry about that. He went back. Are you okay? Oh, no. Assured?

Yes, Matt? Oh, no, it's just fun. I never knew that he spiked him. I just thought he went. Yeah. Some reason, I just thought he went, oh, this guy was falling over. I'm going to help him out. Is that?

I didn't realize it was because he'd hurt him. Is that worse than, like, it's less cool now? Yeah, I don't know. I remember as a kid, because I've run at that stadium, and I reckon our teachers told us about that when I was at school. And I was just like, as a kid, I was like, what are you doing? Just go and win the race. Talk, worry about him later.

He'll still be there. Now you're thinking. Oh, that's probably fair enough. Yeah, it's probably fair enough. Yeah, it's probably fair enough. So he's gone back and checked and assured that the injury wasn't too serious. Landy looked up, then did something that astonished most of the 22,000 spectators. Oh wow, there's a lot of people watching.

I forgot that bit. Just to me in my head, I was just thinking, they're just running. 22,000 people watching. With Clark now on his feet and urging him on, he began to chase a field of runners that had gone a long way past him. He had about a lap and a half to go. At the bell's lap... Which is the final lap when the bell goes off.

He was fairly hurtling. He's running. And amazingly, he won the race. His active shivery had cost him perhaps up to seven seconds, and there is no doubt he sacrificed the chance of a world record. His time was four minutes. I don't think I knew he won the race either. He won.

He stopped to help his friend. So he's not a loser, man. He's a goddamn winner. And that was a big, that was like a, that was an Olympic race? No, that was the Olympic lead up. The championships before the, before the Olympics. World championships? Australian championships.

And so then he goes, Harry Gordon goes on to say, John Landy did not just win a championship that day. He took a foot race. into folklore. I was a privileged witness, and I have to say that after more than half a century of watching and writing about sport all over the world, I've never seen a finer example of undiluted sportsmanship. What a dude! How cool is that? Next day I reacted the only way I knew how. Got on Twitter. Basically, he got on his newspaper. In my newspaper, The Sun News Pictorial, I wrote an open letter to John Landy about his actions. The entire letter, fashioned in bronze,

now sits at the base of the sculpture created by Mitch Mitchell. Also, cruel parenting there, Mitch Mitchell. Mitch, what? So his full name's probably Mitchell Mitchell, that's awful. That is an absolute shocker. And this is what I like, that he says, a couple of paragraphs are worth quoting here. He's quoting himself, which is adorable.

But this is what he wrote in the newspaper at the time, and this is what it says underneath the sculpture of him now. So it says, yours was a classic sporting gesture. It was a senseless piece of chivalry, but it will be remembered as one of the finest actions in the history of sport. In a nutshell, you sacrifice, your chance of a world record to go to the aid of a fallen rival. And in pulling up, trotting back to Ron Clark, muttering sorry and deciding to chase the field,

you achieved much more than any world record. But he also said, he said since that he regrets it, he wishes they didn't focus on it so much, sort of. Is that right? He doesn't regret it. He's saying, like, don't make such a fuss out of it. Yeah, right. He's humble. But I thought you were sort of saying, he was like, I achieved more stuff than that.

That sort of sounded like when you said it before. You achieved much more than... I did a lot of better stuff No, he's just saying like, stop making a fuss I just did what anybody would do. I founded Apple computers. But it's not what anybody would do. Honestly, I just did what anyone else would do

when they'd stabbed another eraser. With their boots. He's like, what are my sporting heroes and you're just shitting all over him because he accidentally hit him. Like, he still went back and helped him. Yeah, no, you're right. And a hero always says,

I was just doing what anyone would do Well, that's exactly it But one time I would love to see on the news report When they say Like, you save the kid from that burning house Everyone's calling a hero, what do you have to say to that? Yeah, I am a fucking hero I'd love to hear that one day

That'd be so good Yeah Yeah, what do you reckon? What do you reckon? I just risk my life, I just save the kid So great Fuck, I'm a hero Yeah, no, sorry about that, Jess

Yeah, no, it's fine Sorry about that Peter Landy John Landy John Landy Who's his name right Okay, and that's sort of the point. So, like, Harry goes on to say, and again, a lot of people are wondering why you pulled up. The truth is, of course, that you didn't think about it.

It was an instinctive action of a man whose mate is in trouble. In the record books, it will look a very ordinary run for these days. But then he says, but for my money, the fantastic gesture and the valiant recovery, make it overshadow your magnificent miles in Finland and Vancouver. It was your greatest triumph, and it is fitting that it took place in your hometown. So it's like you already had a win, which is great, but you also did it in a really sportsmanly way. Yeah. Words are fun.

That is, yeah, the fact that he won the race as well was pretty ridiculous. Yeah, it's pretty amazing. But yeah, it's exactly. And pretty embarrassing for everyone that he beat. Yeah. Exactly as he said, like it was just instinct. He stopped. He got out his like his little first aid kit.

Yeah. Applied abandoned stitches. Learned to sew. Yeah. Drove him down to the hospital. YouTube. YouTube, go to the hospital, waited six hours in emergency.

God, get a park. Came back, changed back into his outfit, did some stretches, did six warm-up laps, might as well finish the race. Took off from where he was and still beat them by a good 17 seconds.

I really like this part of what Harry is saying because it takes it to a new level, which I really enjoy. So he says, so long afterwards, I wouldn't change a word. It's my belief that some of the proudest history of our nation had had a lot to do with people reacting generously, selflessly, courageously,

and yes, instinctively, where their mates have been in trouble, which is nice, but then he says in so many places, in bushfires, in floods, in battlefields, in the surf. And on the track. Man, I love that kind of patriotism. It's like, you know, what's something different about our country, Australia, is we help our mates, you know, in them other countries where they just, if they see a mate in trouble, they'll leave it. They'll kick them.

What's that? You need my help. And I'm gone. Yeah, that's what I do, because I'm not Australian. Yeah. Who invented helping out people. Mateship. It's so funny.

It's pretty funny. We're pretty dumb. Good on us. One of the people that influenced his progress. Who's this, sorry? John Landy. was Emil Zatapak. The man himself.

The man himself. He influenced him. He was an influence. Oh, man. I hope you're one of his influence. Your athlete better be influenced by John Landy somehow. I don't think there's any connection between... No, there's got to be. We'll find a way.

We'll make it up. That is your job. I like this. It says John Landy came under the spell of Zatabek at the 1952 Helsinki. He was a witch doctor. He was a witch doctor. He was a war. The check won the 5,000 meters and 10,000.

and metres. Oh, that's right. And the marathon. And the marathon. The only man. So Landy was like, this guy is a fucking king. So Landy accepted invitations to run with Zadipak

and took careful note of his methods, including his punishing repetition training. And he changed his style. And doing this. He changed his running style, even his running shoes, and he would run... Put on the work boots.

He would run each night around Central Park in Melbourne, which now is named after John Landy. So the park. that he used to train around is now named after him, which is pretty cool. Where's that? I think it's in, like, East Malvern. Oh, man, imagine having a park named after him. Well, he's got sculptures all over as well.

All over the world, two of them. All over the world. Now, John Landy didn't win a whole lot of medals. He only won a bronze at the 1956 Melbourne Olympics for the 1,500 metres. But he was, obviously, you know, his sportsmanship and his humble nature and everything made him a bit of a legend. and what he went on to do, do you guys know what he went on to do after his... Did he be...

Did he go into politics? Kind of, yeah. Is Governor General or... Governor. Governor of Victoria. So he was sworn in on the 1st of January in 2001, sworn in as the 26th governor of Victoria. What's that, well, does that have been,

was that Jeff Kennett days? See, Brax. Braxie. Brax was the Premier. Yeah, so he was the governor of Victoria. He's written a few books. about natural history because he had that science. I suppose it's agricultural.

Yeah. He's good at a lot of stuff. Yeah, and just like, just the loveliest person. Running, books. Just a cool guy. Politics. Over the years, he's been awarded with numerous honorary degrees, the first being a doctor of law from the University of Victoria,

then a doctor of rural science from the University of New England, followed by a doctor of laws from Melbourne University. uni and a doctor of walls from Deakin. I went to Deacon. Maybe put that one to the back of the pile. Don't mind. Don't frown that one. Yeah. So he's got a quadruple doctor.

Yeah. He was inducted into the Sports Australia Hall of Fame in 1985. In 195 he was made a member of the Order of the British Empire for services to sport. He was awarded the Australian Sport Medal in 2000. And in 2001 he was awarded the Centenary Medal, made a companion of the Order of Australia and a knight of grace of most vulnerable order of the Hospital of St John of Jerusalem. That's a long title.

What a title. And in 2006 he was appointed a commander of the Royal Victorian Order during the Queen's visit to Australia. So he's had all these amazing titles and awards and everything like that. This is kind of cool. On the 15th of March in 2006 in the final month of his term as governor, John Landy was the final runner in the Queen's Baton relay during the 2006 Commonwealth Games opening ceremony at the MCJ Stadium in Melbourne,

presenting the baton to the queen by placing it in its specially constructed holder. So he was like the last person to do that. And he handed it to the queen. Yeah, well, I don't think they'd let him just hand it to the queen. He just put it in a thing in front of it. I was like, Your Majesty. Here you are. Here you are.

And the last little bit that I wanted to say was it's another thing that Harry Gordon said in his his write-up about John Landy. He said, when the Victorian government made the sensible decision to appoint Landy governor of the state, the Premier, Steve Brax,

prayed tribute to his humility. It is a trait that is often asserted itself, but maybe never more so than in his attitude to the memorable day at Olympic Park in March, 1956.

He still believes that what he did in that race didn't warrant a fuss. That's what makes him special. He's like, no, I don't know, a big deal, whatever. Still west that he'd gone, I'm a fucking hero. You're right. Ron should be bloody grateful. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome.

What a guy. So that's two. John Landy. All right, John Landy, inspired by a meal. Have you got another runner? Who did John Landy inspire? Come on, Matt. I mean, if you wanted to do that, you should have told me. Did you guys talk about this? And you thought, oh, we want to be very funny. You're going to bloody make a full of old Matt Stewart, you load. It doesn't take much to make a fool of old Matt Stewart.

Well, all right. Well, I mean, yeah, fair enough. Thank you. No. When you said Olympics, it was like, you know, the Olympics is obviously a big, big family. A lot of different things happen there. Yeah. I chose another Australian athlete, but from the Winter Olympics,

a guy called Stephen Bradbury's from modern times. And so Stephen Bradbury, he was a fella born in Sydney in 1973. He's, he's, he and he's, was an Olympic speed skater. Right, so it was the ones that go round, round, round, round real quick. Round around, real quick, yeah, round the circle. Yeah, they do that thing. They do that thing where they, like fit in a circle. You know, they're wearing those things on their fingers so they can sort of touch the thing to go around the corner.

What is that? What is on their fingers? I think it, I don't know. It must be just like, yeah, mitten. or something like that. Like special mittens, ones that wouldn't get just soak up or water like ones that your mum might have knitted.

Anyhow, his dad was also a skater. His dad actually was the... His dad was a skater boy. Oh my God, I was singing that in my head. Yeah, his dad was a skater boy. He wasn't good enough for how. I disagree with that final part. He was actually...

We're talking about Stephen's mum. By the way. He was actually the Australian National Speed Skating Champion in 1963 and 64. Runs in the fam. Wow. No, the fam got the runs. Oh, right, right, right. Dodgy Mexican.

He wasn't good enough for them. He first got Stephen onto some skates at the age of three. So he got him started very young. I was pushing him, pushing him. You got to start him young. But he won't. Man, I'm getting my kid. I'm getting them a sock.

bottle because they're the ones that make the most money. Anyway, Matt. I just, I just want my children to be loved and feel happy. But yeah, okay, cool. I want to retire at 40. You know, listen to my, I know, I'd do a trivia night that Dave writes the questions for once a week. And there was a question you wrote not that longer.

What was the, which sport has the highest paid players as in terms of the top hundred in Forbes magazine? Oh, it's the highest percentage. Yeah, it was. But the highest paid players. highest paid athlete in the world. It was baseball. The highest paid athlete in the world is Christiana Rinaldo.

Right. But yeah, I was really fascinated by the fact that baseball had the most... So, the record is, of the 100, list of Forbes 100 highest paid athletes the last 12 months, the most... The biggest percentage is made up by baseball players. Oh, wow. You go, but, you know, one and two are both soccer players. Right, yeah, that's right.

Anyhow. So I'm going... Baseball, I just... I can name a baseball player. I'm not going to have 100 kids. I'm going to have... one kid, they're going to be at the top of that list and they're going to play soccer. I'm going to have 100 kids.

Anyway, young, Steve, your 100 kids can fight Mike. I'm going to get two bus loads. I'm just going to pick up kids on the street. Come on in. Get in. Jess's fun bus. That sounds weird. You call your boobs the fun bus.

Fun bust. What were you saying, Jeff? I was saying fun bus. My boobs are my fun bus. It's late and I've had Skittles. So he put him on skates at the age of three, but it kind of ended in tears. Stephen was not keen.

Oh, no. Apparently, I was listening to an interview with him and he was saying that whenever someone goes around to his mum's house, the first photo she pulls out of him as a three-year-old, all soaked wet and bawling his eyes out because he just hated it. He's telling the photo, and you're like, yeah, love, it's $22 for that large pizza and a Coke. Stop showing me you family photos, please. And that's very nice.

Thank you very much. Pizza delivery, man. That was the pizza delivery. Anyway, before I pay you, just check out this photo of young Stephen Brambrough. A couple of years later, his dad tried again, so he was five years old, and by that stage he started getting into it. And then at the age of eight, he started going speed skating. He started doing it competitively, and that was when he said that he started really getting

the bug, or loving going fast. That's what he's into. At the age of 15, he made it onto the national speed skating. team. Wow. Wow. Yeah, so quite young. But at this stage, the skaters on the team were selected by a committee on their discretion. Was dad in the committee? Wasn't not necessarily going off data, like stats, results, and his dad was on the committee. So, not going off results or data. What is it going off? It's going on, you know, gut feel. See that kid there? I reckon he'd go real good on skates. And he's my son.

What are you doing this, Stephen? Why are you wandering past the office? Get him in. Get him in. Number one. Suit up, Stephen. You're in. Not going off stats or die.

So the world's fastest skaters going, what the fuck? No, I mean, obviously that came into consideration, but other things were factored in as well. And at this, um, apparently Stephen had said that they factored in there. They were definitely better skaters around at the time. But the committee were looking to the future. They were trying to get fresh blood in. So they were, that's why they went with a young 15 year old. They wanted someone who was a Scorpio and everyone else wasn't.

Yeah, Scorpio and also, yeah, the son of... Son of a Scorpio. So, I don't want to go into his famous race yet. I'll talk about that later, but by the time of his 2002 Olympics, which is what he's most famous for in Australia, anyway. I imagine our overseas listeners probably have never heard of this guy. But by the time he got there in 2002, he was competing in his fourth Olympics. See, I had no idea.

Yeah, so he had a long career. He'd already been the world champion in the 5,000 meter relay in 1991, 11 years earlier. Wow. How old was he then, really young? Yeah, so he would have been, he was 18, I guess. So he's a, and you get a gold medal of the world championships? Yeah, gold medal, world champion in a relay team. In that same relay event, a couple years later, they won bronze in 93, in Bayesian.

and then following on from that year after that won silver. So he's won multiple World Championship medals before that famous Olympics. In the 1994 Olympics, Bradbury actually went into his 1,000-meter event as the favourite. Yep. Which is like, I didn't realize. So he was good. In the 1994 Olympics, he won through to, the semifinal. He won his heat, got through his quarterfinal. So his favorite for the whole event in the

semi-final, but he was knocked over by another competitor. Oh, no. Finish fourth and eliminated from the event. No. Because this event, it's like, that's people going really fast on these little skates. Obviously, ice is pretty slippery. They're all wearing lycra. You know, everyone's hot and bothered. You get a little nudge. It's all over. Apart from this, his career also had some massive injury setbacks, like some full-on stuff happening. I mean, in a 1994 World Cup event in Montreal, he was involved in a collision and another skater's blade swissed through his thigh. And it cut through so deep.

And his blood was pumping so fast at the time that he lost four litres of blood. Oh my God. How do he survive that? Apparently he thought in his head he's going, if you go under, if you lose consciousness, you will not wake up again. So he's just like, gotta maintain consciousness. All four of his quad muscles had been sliced through

and he needed over 100 stitches. Gross. Jesus. Took a year and a half before his leg was back to full strength. And he still wanted to skate after that. Yeah, but he just, like, listening to him talk, he's just one of those fully motivated. I mean, anyone who competes at the highest level must be a bit like that,

or just have so much natural talent. You're either like just got heaps and heaps of natural talent, or you've just, and even then, you probably have to work pretty hard anyway. Yeah, of course. Oh, my, so, wow, he nearly died. So, yeah, that was, that was one. Like, there were multiple incidents, but that was one of the most full-on ones. He had another one that was pretty full-on,

less than two years out from his famous 2002 Olympic Games he broke his neck in a training accident another skater fell in front of him and Bradbury tried to jump over him Landy style So he was inspired by Landy? We did it, everyone! We did it! But instead he clipped him

very much like Landy but he didn't chop him or anything but it meant that Bradbury fell headfirst into the barriers Oh my God. And broke his neck, fracturing his C4 and C5 vertebra. Wow. He spent six weeks in a halo brace.

I never heard of them. That full on. It looks like you got scaffolding around your head. Wow. So you can't move your neck at all? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Six weeks. Six weeks.

He needed four pins in his skull and screws and plates in his back and chest. Nope. What? More machine than man. And this is after. that he nearly bled to death. Yeah. And he's...

And he still skated? Yeah, he's been through three Olympics by this stage. He's getting pretty old for a skater. Like, he's probably missed his chances. All right, and this is probably his last shot. Last shot at being at the Olympics. He went, and I just... I listened to an interview just before,

and he was talking about that time, and he was like, it was a tough time. He went and saw his doctor, and when he went to saw his doctor... The doctor's just shaking his head. The doctor said... Oh, no, no. Yeah, basically, you should never skate again.

Just give it away. You've had a great run sort of thing. But this is too dangerous now. And what Bradbury said in this interview, he goes, so I went and saw another doctor. And, yeah, eventually found the right doctor, and he sort of gave him the right answer. The right doctor said, yeah, you'll be right.

Thank you. That's all I needed. So this is... Just, if you're that confident, you're going to just do it. it. Less than a couple of years before the Olympics, he couldn't move, basically. So he couldn't train.

It took him ages to get back to, I just, I couldn't believe, like, I didn't know any of this stuff. No, people never talk about this. But he did it. Obviously, he got back and he qualified for the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics. Obviously, he'd already been, this was his fourth Olympic Games. and he was the oldest entrant in the competition and given pretty much no chance of winning.

About how old is he at this date? So in 2002 so he'd be 29. And he's already the oldest? Yeah. In that competition. Yeah, but I don't know, that just surprises me. Yeah, that does seem interesting. But I mean, some sports, you know, like gymnastics,

if you're 18, you're the oldest in the competition. Yeah. Just depends. This must be one. It was interesting. He was also talking a lot about how you're weights distributed. Like speed skaters,

basically just huge, musly legs and just trying to be pretty slim up top. It's kind of a funny... Oh, wow. Yeah, so there's all the powers in the legs. You're basically up top is just keeping your balance,

but the legs is getting all the power. It's kind of... I'd hardly ever watched any. I watched a few races earlier on YouTube. It's a pretty cool looking sport. The way they move. Oh, yeah, it's cool. And they just, like, overtaking each other

and just sliding into position. It's just, it's very elegant. And how far. Where are they going? Like, is it lots? It depends. There's lots of different distances. 5,000, thousand.

It's reminding me of another. Multiple thousands. Another event I like watching at the Olympics, which is the cycling. Yeah, it's got a little bit about that, just round and around the velodrome. And the tactics of like the team cycling when there's one in, one out,

someone goes up high. I love when they go up high. And they just, like, they just watch each other. And then they go, and they go down and they go around. Yeah, it's like a line in its prey. Yeah. It's amazing.

We're going for it. We're going, go, go, go, go, go. Yeah, actually, yeah, cycling can be really fun. And that one in particular, and they've got funny names, those cycling events. They can't think of any other. There's that one with the Bell event and then, yeah, there's that tactical one where, yeah, someone has to start out in front. Yeah. And then they're normally just watching over their shoulder.

Yeah. And it's just like one of them will go. They're barely moving. And as soon as one of them goes, yeah, basically almost stop. Really interesting. It's just all tactics. All tactics and then speed. It's quite a bizarre sport

That one, I reckon Anyhow, yeah So he's given very little chance Of winning Bradbury, obviously He was basically past it And missed his chances He was at the top of his game And had a bit of bad luck

Also had some horrible injuries Fell over when he was the favourite And he got rid of it Was knocked over by someone else So they're the kind of annoying It was like, oh I mean That wasn't even My fault really

But oh well And apparently he's out of was always positive it wasn't like. That's the thing about the Olympics is you miss out and it's like

well, four years. Yeah. So he's made it to Salt Lake City. He won his heat convincingly in the 1,000 meters

which obviously is a good thing. So gets him in through to the quarterfinals but unfortunately he was he drew very poorly because it's basically

it's a bit of luck as to which quarter final you get. get into. And some people describe the group he was in as the group of death.

Group of death, oh no. The top two go through in the quarter final and in his group he also had Apollo Anton Ono who was

the favorite for the whole event and also Mark Gannon who was the defending world champion so a couple of guns. Ono and Gannon so yeah

So he have to be at least one of them to go through. Do you're thinking about that. If the name came out on like that. I could see the cogs turn. How am I going to bring that in? I'm just going to say it, do you gain on? I'm just going to sledge hammer it in. Yeah, I think this is my only opportunity.

I've got to go for it. I've got to put the speeds cage on. This is your Olympic Games. And I got there, guys. I got the gold medal for the silliest joke. Do get on. he so obviously very tough group but he had to finish in the top two and he didn't he finished third oh and was eliminated from the olympics again what what meaning that yeah he he didn't advance

to the semi-final he did not collect go i mean pasco he did not collect 200 dollars gain how do i pronounce this before ganon no you said gain on but i want to say do ganon Ganon. Yeah, Gnon. Gagnon. Gagnon. Gagnon. Let's call him Gannon.

All right. So, Gannon was disqualified. Cheating. For obstructing another racer? Obstructing. I got it. Got it in one. Which meant that Bradbury got called up and made it into the semi-final.

What's this obstructing thing? Like getting in the way? Yeah, illegally. He stopped halfway through and put his hand down and went, Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. No. I win. Stop it.

Adstruction goal attack. Yeah. That's a netball thing. Someone comes out with a red card. Ah. Ah. So Bradbury's through. He made it through to the semi-final.

Woo! And I heard him talking about this as well in another interview was like, they asked him what the best moment of his life was. And he said, obviously, the birth of my child was pretty great. But the best moment of my life. He was saying his own birth. I remember that. Fuck, it was good.

So good. I was just out like a rocket. So he, um... I knew I was going to be fast. A little gooey. He said... Loved it, flopping around in the gut. He, um...

Do goo on. Do goo on. That's what I said to the doctor. Is he slapped my ass? I mean, back. Fuck. Oh dear. No, what, so...

It's an interesting baby. Favorite moment, his baby, his own baby's birth, but also... But also, um, On this day, there was about half an hour between heats finals and, you know, they'd just go out one after the other sort of thing. And he was saying how in the room you get about half an hour, a big chunk of that time, you're resharpening your skates, you've got to get on the bike, get your lactic acid out and that sort of stuff. You only really have about five minutes to sit and think. And he was like, in this break, he did all those things and he sat there and he's like, Hang on, I've done it.

I've made the Olympics. I broke my neck. That's some two years ago. I've done it. I've reached, like, and he reckons that was the best moment of his life. Really, so this is enough. Sitting, just sitting in, in the rooms or whatever, having that realization. He's just like it was the best feeling he's ever felt.

That's great. He felt like he did achieve it. Because, you know, I mean, really, when the doctor's saying never skate again, to being in the semifinals of the Olympics is like amazing, right? up the doctor and just goes, suck shit. Beep, beep. Who is this?

Who is this? It's fucking Stephen Bradbury. He has to call back because he's already coming out. Sorry about that. Stephen Bradbury, by the way. Now, suck shit. Bradbury. He's his war cry.

I keep talking over your riffs. Yeah, you do. Yeah, I'm very good at reading. Reading what you guys are up to. Sorry. Hat. Yep, they've done it again. No, that's pretty funny. He's a baby in this act out. I'm enjoying it. Good one, good one. Very nice.

Your commentary is the best. Team effort, team effort. So, leading up to the semi-final, he talks to his coach and he decides to change his strategy. Oh, boy. At this stage, he sort of has realized that his speed is not quite up to the other competitors. The event's called speed skating. I'm not going to even skate. I'm not going to skate I'm not going to go fast I'm going to do the worm

I'm going to worm I'm going to put my footflops on and I'm going to just going to change this up a little bit I'm going to try and come last and then I'll tell everyone that that's the new event I'm going to put salt on the ice I'll melt it I melt this fuckers

and I'm going to swim I'll swim my way to big shit I'm going to melt the outside and I'll swim I'll swim I'll show him I mean I was going to say

Not far off, but yeah, you were quite a while. But it was a pretty dramatic change. So he spoke to his coach and decided, as his speed wasn't quite up there with him, he was going to sit in behind the rest of the field and just like follow him around, you know, getting their sip stream sort of thing and pretty much just play for a crash. What? So he decided that he was going to. No.

Yeah, he was going to sit at the back. Yeah, I know. It's kind of a bit defeated. But it worked. In the semi-final, he was coming last. He was following around three of the other competitors out of five. Crashed, fell over, he finished and made it through to the final. Oh, my God.

That was the semi-final. In the semifinal, yeah. What? So he, but what a great... So is it top two go through again? Top two? Top two go through and he made it through. So he gets through to the final.

And I'm like It almost feels too good to be true Like you're you've said that afterwards like You know this is my strategy It wasn't just that you Were the slowest on the field But I mean you you watch it He's still going fast

Like they're all going fast He's keeping up of course He was pretty much keeping up And it just sort of just falling behind him So it's like I guess Yeah I guess I believe that right Wow So then

So he's made the final He's made the Olympic final when he was just stoked to have made it. He was stoked to be in the semi. That doctor was getting a lot of calls. Guess what, Doc? Suck shit! Final.

Wow. And then in the final, Bradbury again found himself out the back, as was his strategy. I guess it worked from him in the semi, so why not give it another go? Is everyone doing that strategy? So everyone's trying to be at the back?

Yeah, they're turning around, going the wrong way. One of them was just standing at the finish line at the start. start line, everyone falls over. Now's my time. Then they do a thousand meters. Yeah, exactly.

While the others have been taken up in ambulances. They're just like... Cutting each other with this. Yes. But then they fall over anyway. This is a thousand metre victory lap. But then at the final turn they slip. That's a lot of laps.

And then a kid runs on. Like a four-year-old child. He's won the thousand metre gold medal. Who is this kid? Who's this kid? The medal's too big for him. So, yes, it's the final, right? Very exciting.

Salt Lake City. It's a beautiful place, I guess. I've been there, I think. I drove through there, but it's in... Utah. What's in Utah? Give me two. Two!

Utah! Meatball! Give me two. What's that from again? Point break? Point break. Yeah, that's right. Utah.

It's Keanu Reeves. I know point break, but I don't know. know the line. Utah! Kiana Reeves is known as Utah because he's from Utah. That's how people get nicknames. And the other guy,

not Nick Nolty, but... Who else is the other guy? You used to have a game called Nick Nolty or... Gary Busey. They don't look at all the same. I used to have a show where we broke made up world records

and one of them was the world's best people at telling the difference between Nick Nolty and Gary Busey. We just showed your 10 photos and you yell out. if you think it's Nick Noglio Gerebusy and they don't even look that similar

Like if you're describing them It's similar Yeah you know They're like kind of a big musly Sort of old guy with like sandy wavy hair But if you see photos Clearly different people

And then one of them was neither naughty nor Buzi This woman who had like A mug shot taken For like drunk driving Or something And she looked a lot like Gero Bucy I think I know that mug shot.

Poor woman. She looks like curibious. Oh, so. What are we talking about? We're talking about... Oh, yeah, so the final. Bradbury. Salt Lake City, Utah.

So, yes, good. So it was the final, and he's using this. He's decided to go with the same strategy again. I just watched the race. I can sort of describe it. The five of them. So it's five finalists. Five finalists.

Bradbury pretty much immediately drops out of the rear. Tactical. We're assured. And the other four competitors, flying, right? And they're all, and they're getting a bit physical, and they're rotating who's in the lead. Like, it looks like it's anyone's race,

pretty much, of the top four. They're sort of, everyone's got a spot out in front. And they go round and round and round and round. The whole, lap after lap, it's the four up the front, Bradbury, with a little bit of a gap in between. Then, on the final turn, one of them goes for a maneuver,

knocks out the legs of one of the other guys, He hits the deck, then all four in front fall and slide out to the side. Bradbury, with a like a good beat or two, swoops through, puts the hands in the air, first ever Australian Winter Olympic gold medalist. I still find it unbelievable. It's amazing. Yeah, but you're right. It's that sweet beat where he didn't even have to avoid.

He doesn't even swerve. If he was trying to, if he was trying to stay close, if he was trying to compete with him, he probably would have been swept out too. Second place, I wonder how, yeah. Because don't they get up and like scramble for it? Yeah, they just scramble, like pretty much dive across the line, two guys. One guy comes through feet first for second and then the other guy sort of slides over. Feet first for second.

Yeah. Isn't that great? Yeah. See, that's, because I obviously, I remember that race and it's one of the most, you know, iconic Australian sporting story. But I did not know that that happened in the semi as well. Two in a row. I didn't know that either.

Yeah, I knew. The final is all I knew. I didn't know that he was the favourite years earlier. I didn't know that he'd been knocked out and then got in because somebody got disqualified and then. Yeah, it's so, like so much of it is drama. Amazing. It's luck.

And that's not discounting all of his work. But I mean, it is a lot more in perspective for me now, considering knowing that he'd been to three other. other Olympics, that he'd been the favorite, that he'd overcome these two, like, life-threatening injuries. Awful injuries. In, um... Because in my head, I think a lot of Australians who know the story, just think of him as that lucky

guy that was okay at ice skating and that happened to make his way to the final somehow and then just scooted through and stole victory. He's basically, yeah, he's seen as been a pure luck and just like he was unheard of the day before. Even though he'd won medals previously... But winter sports aren't massive things. We don't have the snow to... But that day, he won it that day and he became, you know, a household name in Australia.

Yeah, you're right. He is a household name. And in an interview, after winning his gold, sort of reflecting on some of his injuries and that sort of stuff, he said, the quote of his, he said, obviously I wasn't the fastest skater. I don't think I'll take the medal as the minute and a half of the race I actually won. I'll take it as the last decade of hard slog I put in. Which is a great way to look at it.

That is a great. Because I also remember seeing an interview and I don't really remember exactly what he was saying, but it was sort of that thing of like he struggled a bit with it for a while in terms of, you know, like you won by default. You only won because everybody else fell over. Like it doesn't feel like a win. But yeah, taking it for the 10 years or the, you know, the lifetime that he spent. And like all the bad luck he had when he was the fastest, but he got knocked over.

Like, you know, those guys. I suppose the other guys have to think about that too, don't they? Yeah. One of them was the favourite that fell over. Yeah, totally. That's amazing. So, yeah, I love his attitude about it. And possibly because of that, his great attitude and the fact that it sort of,

and it actually in Australia became a, well, I mean, we're talking to a lot of Australians on the podcast. But there are people who are Sweden from all over the world. But it became a saying, doing a Bradbury was when you sort of just sort of fell through. The competitors fell over or, you know, something just went your way. And a lot of luck happened at the last minute and you just come through default. And he said, talking in an interview, he was saying how he loves it. He loves how he's become a saying he feels really proud of it. And he thinks, you know, he hopes people are still saying it after he dies.

And he thinks it's really nice to be remembered that way. Was he on Dancing with the Stars? Probably. Because that's the real victory. Yeah. Did you By default Everyone else fell over

I feel like He just did his Classic worm Yeah I'm gonna worm I'm gonna worm the way All the His partner's like

What are you doing He's just worming on top of it Ew Yeah that sounded way worse Than I thought Oh Don't worm on top of anybody He now is

So he's now He's done over 800 speaking events I was gonna say He was asked He must make it A packet doing that Not long after He was asked

he was asked by Retrovision to speak at the... Retrovision's like a... It was like a TV chain stores. Like... Yeah, like electronics and stuff, yeah. And he was asked by them to speak at their... Some sort of a conference they were having.

And he got the call and they said, yeah, we want to offer you five grand to do a 45 minute speech. And he's like, that's what I earned in the last year sort of thing. Like, he... Speed skating didn't pay a lot of money. So doing this one talk. and because of that he got the speech ready. He got the speech ready.

He did about three weeks of work on it. He said he read it all word for word. It was all printed out. Big letters. Hello, I am Stephen Bradbury. Say this bit faster. Wow. He hired a speech writer, which he's worked with a lot over the years and a comedian as well

to throw in some humor. Great. And really, you know, just, it's pretty like he goes, I'm going to do this seriously. But I guess that's probably how athletes work as they go, well, if I'm going to talk. I'm going to bloody put it all in. Which is great.

But he goes, this is like, he sounds like he's got a few elements of a little bit wankiness in it. Because, I mean, he works as a motivational speaker. But he says that he doesn't like the term motivational speaker.

Nobody does. He feels that's a little bit un-Australian, a little bit too American-ey. So he likes to call himself. Oh, no. Oh, here we go. A real life speaker. Get fucked.

Stephen, I was really impressed in the last half hour of this, but no. It just felt like real life. And then... I'm not motivated. I just feel like I've got to go back to my normal... On his website, he's got some testimonials. No, he doesn't. Yeah.

And I mean, a lot of... You know, it's all fine, but this one I... I mean, like, let's remember he had those frosted tips, so we already knew he was a bit of a wanker. He was 2002. He said he did other things. Like, he just to be motivated, he... growing up, when he decided he wanted to do it, he, like, sticky tape to his ceiling

thing saying something like, it's the Olympics, get up. Wow. And he said every morning he opened his eyes, he saw that and was like, everyone else who wants to go to the Olympics is up right now. If you don't get up, they're up and they're out training you right now. So just like, always on. No, that's the thing with that. For me, when you open your eyes up.

With elite athletes, they are like that. My mum works with a woman who played in the Olympics. She was softball for Canada. And she one time just recited this big passage of Bryce Courtney's The Power of One that was her, it was her, it's the Olympics get up. It was her thing that like pushed her. And I was just like, oh, cool, man. Yeah, I wish I had that.

I don't have that. That's like we're comedians. Yeah. Like, okay, if you don't get up, there's plenty of other comedians will. But plenty of other comedians. it won't, but it will probably naturally funnier than you are anyway. Oh, yeah.

Oh, no. But I like some of the testimonials he's got on his side. I think it looks like he just sort of cuts and paste the whole thing. One of them it's got at the end. It's like, says all this nice stuff. It has their email, AJ7 at hotmail.com. It'll say stuff like, so, you know, he's really great speaker, all that sort of stuff.

You have to do. Update your virus software. Said from my iPhone. Got that. Read it and weep. Read it and weep. He calls the doctor up. Yeah, just got an email for the antivirus people, huh?

He told me you'd never skate again, didn't you? Who is this? Stop calling me. Reveal yourself. Sorry, Matt, testimonials. So this is, you know, a couple of lines that says some nice stuff. And then at the just the end of the testimony it says, so make sure you add his comments to your testimonials.

That's part of the testimonials. the testimonial. I reckon you could probably have... Could have got rid of that big. Come on. But my favourite one probably, of the ones I read. I don't even...

It's not that good. It's just like... It feels like... It's what Jess would describe as cute, this whole website, I reckon. But anyway, goes, I work with Stephen Bradbury

last week, full stop. He really impressed me, full stop. Funny, come on, clean, entertaining and motivating. I checked behind his ears. Clean.

Phil Kassie. comedy magician. No. Why would I describe this website as cute? It's just everything about it. Like leaving in, add this to your testimonial. That's so good.

Don't you reckon? Am I misusing your use of cute? Yeah, but it's great. Damn it. Stephen Bradbury. Dang, he says, come on, Bradbury. All right. That's awesome.

Anyway, yeah, Stephen Bradbury. Good guy. There we go. There we got three very different athletes. all who worked very hard. My guy, Zatapek, who decided at the last minute to run the race and then won it. Did a Zatapak. Then we had John Landy, did it Landy when he helped out his mate and still won the race.

And then we had Bradbury, who tried so hard for so many years, and then had a bit of luck, cruised across the line, and will be remembered in Australian sport history forever. Yeah. First ever. Actually, it was the first ever. Um, any, uh, first ever winter Olympic gold medalists from any southern hemisphere. Country, apparently.

Far out. That's pretty cool, actually. Yeah, but I guess it's like the whole southern hemisphere, it isn't really into winter Olympics, I guess. We don't have the climate for it, right? We're too gnarly. We're too noughty. We're too from Antarctica, but that's not really a country, is it? We don't really have, yeah, we don't have enough snow and, yeah, that here.

Yeah. That's why a lot of our, um, like, gymnasts go into skiing and, uh, the aerial skiing and, um. Right. And yeah, we do tend, Australia does tend to go well at aerial skiing and so stuff. But it's, because apparently we don't even have an mountain in Australia that's high enough to be able to host the Winter Olympics. No, yeah, we'll never have to win. Like, by nowhere near it. Yeah, we've got nothing.

We only get snow because I think where we're positioned compared to Antarctica or something. There's some weird thing, we shouldn't even get snow at all, but our snow is pretty shitty. And it's not, yeah, it's pretty, it's ice and it's not even, like, there's only a few parts of Australia that get snow. Yeah, so we won't host the Winter Olympics, but we're pretty sick for the summer, so come on down. Again. I think it's nearly time for Melbourne to have another go. Like 56 was ages ago.

A while ago. Let us have another go. You would be a volunteer, wouldn't you? Um, yes. Do you reckon they'd need a stand-up comedian for the opening ceremony? There's often a space for a type five set. Oh, for sure. You could be the new Nikki Webster.

She did a type 5, and she? And then, um... I was at the shops the other day. Her material. I want $5 worth of mixed lollies. Because I'm a little girl. And that's what girls do. And it's 2000.

Yeah, all right. Thank you. And good mine. What? Yeah, she was good, wasn't she? She was really good. Very funny. Great value.

Great value. And I would volunteer the fuck out of that Olympic. Oh, you would. Oh, my God. I would do anything. I would be like, ushering people to their seats, tearing tickets, no problem. Handing sweaty athletes towels. There you go, Mr. Athlete, have a towel.

You look all sweaty. What, handing them sweaty tails. Here you go, mate. I said handing sweaty athletes towels. If you listen back, I think you said handing sweaty towels, athletes. Here you are, sir. You look very sweaty. Can I help you get even sweeter, please?

That's a very good impression of me. That raises a good point, Dave. Normally the person who does a report does the editing. I was... Shock on. Shogunit! Oh, Danny! You thought you could do with Bradbury and Sleeve, sneaking at the end there, but I did

Emil Zatepec and I jumped in. I was John Landy and I was just a nice person. Well, you were, you'd offer that, edit it. Oh, thanks. Well, Jess Landy, thank you so much. No. Well, I think we're going to have to have a discussion off Mike about this, but I would like to dedicate this episode to Andrew suggested the topic of Amiens.

And then we turned it into a meal of sorts. No, no, no. That was great. No, it wasn't. I'm really sorry, Emil. And I hope that it's very disrespectful. I hope we got everyone else excited for the Olympics starting in a couple of days. Woo!

The Winter Olympics starting in two years and two days, I guess. Woo! Olympics! I'm up for it any time, baby. I want the Olympics to be every year. No, then it wouldn't be a special. It wouldn't be a special. It would not.

Let's make it every 10. No, no. Once a century. Once a century. You may never see one. Every fifth generation gets to actually compete. Now that's special. Now that's special.

Anyway, let's get the fuck out of here. Let's get out of here. But before we get out of here, we've got to tell you, email us in some topic ideas. Andrew got on. How about you? What are you waiting for? Get on the email.

Do go on pod or gemar.com. Or get on Twitter. Do go on pod or Facebook us, or comment or messages Do go on pod is the page you search for on Twitter Get in contact Do you think

Five-star review Be an Olympic legend And give us a five-star review Dere to dream Just dare to dream How needy do you have to do a podcast Hey can you please give us a five-side review And contact us

And Now speaking of reviews And sport What happens is I don't know if you guys know When you go on your iTunes It just goes to whatever country you're in So when we go on ours

We can mainly just see the Australian reviews but I found a way that we can check... Oh, I didn't know that. We can check it... Yeah, so we've got reviews from around the world. New Zealand, Canada, the UK, America, there's a bunch of reviews. And the way, what happens is I found a way someone to put it online that you can just change the codes. It says dot us or whatever.

And you can see the top, the first three, the most three... You can see the three most recent reviews from that country. And in Canada, I would just like to say, if you were listening and you did this review, Hats off to you, because it was very funny. They wrote, If this podcast was a person, he or she would be super funny and smart, but wouldn't be able to throw a ball.

Which I totally agree. So thank you so much. And that was a five-star review. Why do you agree that it's funny and smart? Yes, I do. And I also can't fucking throw a ball. So if you... Unless it's like a fancy dress ball,

and then he's all about the decoration. And throwing it downstairs. But yeah, if you want to give us a sweet review, that would be absolutely amazing, whatever country you're in and chucking on iTunes. And if they're funny, they make us laugh as well. But until next week, we're going to leave it there, and I will say to you, enjoy the Olympics. A couple of weeks of good times coming your way in the Paralympics coming up in September. Enjoy that, but until next week, I say a goodbye. Oh, hi-dos.

Dare to dream. Dare to dream. Bye. Thank you. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later, oh, you should come to Manchester. We were just in Manchester.

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